This is a last second change for obvious reasons. Today is Viscera/Mabel.
Mabel debuted as part of a tag team called Men on a Mission whose mission was never quite clear. I think it was supposed to be helping children but they went about it by doing bad raps and looking like they were caught in a Life Saver factory explosion. This is their Raw debut from July 19, 1993.
Men on a Mission vs. Hank Harris/Rich Myers
After squashing jobbers for the better part of a year, Men on a Mission would get a Tag Team Title shot at Wrestlemania X.
Tag Titles: Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers
Reno Riggins vs. Mabel
Riggins tries everything he can on Mabel but the big guy just stares at him. Reno is willing to try a test of strength from the middle rope and actually gets in some cheap shots, only to be slammed down. Mabel misses an elbow drop but comes back with a big leg for the easy pin.
KOTR Quarterfinals: Mabel vs. Undertaker
Mabel is interviewed on his way to the ring and cuts the most generic uninteresting promo of all time. He looks like a freaking idiot too in case you were wondering. I think Hendrix is trying to be like Jerry Lawler and of course it’s just completely failing. Taker has no urn here thanks to Kama so he’s weak or something. Remember all of those really not great Undertaker vs. Big Show matches?
One of those would be great compared to this. Mabel is just a complete and utter joke of a wrestler to put it mildly. He can’t move, he can’t do much of anything as far as offense, he’s tired after about two seconds, and he doesn’t sell a thing. Naturally Mabel’s “power (read as elbows, splashes and chinlocks)” offense wears down Taker as Vince and Doc try so hard to convince us that Mabel is a monster.
This just needs to end with Taker beating him and taking the crown. BREAKING NEWS: MABEL CAN PICK UP UNDERTAKER! For some reason this is a big deal and I have no idea why at all. Why in the world would that be a surprise? Mo is more annoying than Santino ever dreamed of being.
Oh great the referee went down after they both laid around for a few minutes. That means it’s going to go on even longer. Taker hits a chokeslam that was pretty good considering he was picking up a beached whale. Kama runs out and kicks him in the head and a legdrop sends Mabel to the finals, to meet the winner of Road Dogg and Savio Vega. I hate this show so much.
Rating: D+. This was just putting me to sleep. What was the point of this anyway? Seriously, Mabel and freaking SAVIO VEGA are going farther in this than Undertaker and Shawn Michaels. Does Vince really think that this is a good idea? Shawn vs. Diesel at Summerslam wouldn’t have been good? It just headlined Mania but it can’t be on Summerslam? This just needs to end now and have people come out from nowhere and say it was all a big joke then let us see the real show.
KOTR Finals: Mabel vs. Savio Vega
Smell those buyrates baby. The problem s instantly become apparent here: first of all, these two both suck and there was no logic at all behind pushing them as the focal points of the show. Second, the fans hate them. Neither guy gets anything resembling a good reaction either from a heel perspective or a face perspective. Third, how in the heck is Savio supposed to win here other than a fluke rollup or something like that?
This match again follows as basic of a formula as you could possibly imagine: Savio starts hot and Mabel knocks him down and goes into his basic moveset: punch, stomp, punch, bearhug, chinlock. Seriously, I just covered the first 8 minutes of a ten minute match. Savio of course gets some token jobber, because that’s what he is here in case you didn’t realize it, offense in including that pesky fluke rollup attempt.
Here’s the real point of this match as far as we’re concerned though. Just after the chinlock that nearly goes for a minute, the crowd turns on the match and start LOUDLY chanting ECW. It’s so loud that Vince actually acknowledges it. This wasn’t planned or anything, but it was so loud that Vince stopped his commentary, I think out of shock. He really and truly believed what he was putting out there was getting over, and sadly enough I would bet he blamed the wrestlers for the failure here.
Savio’s spin kick gets two, and it’s over soon thereafter. I know this was really short again, but honestly there’s just nothing at all to talk about for any ot these matches, period. It’s just so basic and phoned in that it’s sucking the life out of me. Razor gets beaten up and 1-2-3 Kid runs out and gets beaten up too. There was a tag match at the next In Your House that no one cared about either. Yes, Mabel joins Owen and Bret and eventually Stone Cold as KOTR winners.
Rating: D. Dang it just end this nonsense already! No one likes this stuff, no one cared about Mabel. No one cared about Savio. YOU HAD FREAKING SHAWN MICHAELS IN THIS FREAKING THING and you picked MABEL. Seriously, here’s your tournament: Shawn beats Kama and Mabel while Yoko beats Savio and gets the bye so he only wrestles twice. Shawn kicks him in the face and wins the tournament so the fans are happy.
Instead though, Vince has to decide what we like and tell us that Mabel is our new top heel, and shockingly, IT BOMBED. Mabel was complete and utter crap as a big heel and there’s no shock at all as to why. We had to watch Diesel vs. Mabel to main event the worst Summerslam of all time because Vince is fascinated with big men. At the same time we had Hogan vs. Giant in a monster truck match. Do you see why the NWO was considered a gift from God? DAng I hated this tournament.
The coronation might save this garbage though. It literally goes on for five minutes with bad music playing and Mo reading a proclamation. The only good part here are the fans, who are booing so loudly and chanting ECW so loudly that you can barely hear Mo. Savio comes up and gets pulled back, and the fans pelt both guys with garbage. No one bought this, plain and simple.
This win gave Mabel a World Title shot at Summerslam 1995.
WWF World Title: King Mabel vs. Diesel
Royals vs. Dark Side
King Mabel, Jerry Lawler, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Isaac Yankem
Undertaker, Fatu, Henry Godwin, Savio Vega
Rating: D+. This whole match ran just under fifteen minutes and about two of those meant anything. Everything was waiting for Taker to come in and dominate, which he did quite well, but getting there was pretty dull stuff. This match is more fun for looking at what these people would become rather than what they are now. Taker would lose the mask soon enough thank goodness.
Kurt Angle vs. Viscera
Viscera would leave again in the summer and hit the indies for a few more years. He would return in 2004 as a jobber to the stars, including this match on November 1, 2004.
Shelton Benjamin vs. Viscera
Kane vs. Viscera
Kane runs into Viscera and bounces off of him. He kicks Viscera tot he floor and dives onto Visc to take over. The fans still want Matt. Back in and Viscera hits the wheel kick and we get a pelvic thrust. Kane goes after Trish for some reason but gets splashed and caught in a Samoan Drop for two. Sidewalk slam gets the same. Kane gets in a boot to the face and the top rope clothesline looks to set up the chokeslam, but Visc elbows out of it.
A clothesline puts Kane on the floor but Viscera runs into the post. Trish goes after Kane with a chair for some reason but Lita blasts her with a crutch (Lita had a bad knee). Back in Kane goes up but dives into a choke bomb for two. Lita gets in the ring for some reason and Visc tries to kiss her, but Kane comes back with a big boot and a chokslam for the pin.
ECW Title: Big Daddy V vs. CM Punk
Mark Henry/Big Daddy V vs. Kane/CM Punk
Punk is ECW Champion here and is having to stick and move against the monsters. Kane is here to help even out the size stuff. Punk vs. Henry to start us off. Punk fires off some kicks and then tries to pick up the leg because faces are idiots in this company. Off to Kane whose strikes do a bit better. He gets a shot to the knee and Henry is actually in trouble. Back to Punk who gets flattened by a clothesline.
Off to Big Daddy V and the girth of death. Punk gets sent to the floor where Striker, the manager of V, gets in a shot. Henry pounds on him for awhile until a corner splash misses. Moderately warm tag brings in Kane who cleans a few rooms. The Big Bald hits the top rope clothesline to put Henry down but V breaks up the chokeslam. Sitout chokebomb gets two for V. I thought it was tea for two and two for tea but whatever.
V pounds away while in whale humping position. He splashes Kane and it’s off to Henry for some bearhuggery. Better than buggery I suppose. V comes in for Kane to fire away but another fat boy clothesline takes him down. Kane channels his inner deadman and hits a running DDT to put both guys down (Henry in this case). Double tag brings in V and Punk and everything breaks down. Punk and V are alone in the ring so Punk tries the springboard clothesline. He lands in a Samoan Drop though and we’re done.
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