Knockouts Knockdown II
Date: November 7, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,400
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Somehow this might be one of the last PPVs TNA ever puts on as they only have two more of these taped and have no regular PPV (or TV) dates announced at the moment. The title of this show should tell you everything you need to know. Just like last time, it’s a bunch of qualifying matches and then a gauntlet match for a crown. Let’s get to it.

We open with a package from the biggest names in the competition talking about how they’re the best. A regular music video shows us some highlights from the last few years of Knockouts matches.

Christy Hemme and JB are in the ring to show off the winner’s crown, only to be interrupted by Rockstar Spud. He has a guest host for the night, meaning JB and Christy aren’t needed this evening. The guest hosts is, of course, Ethan Carter III because this was taped way before Spud turned face. Spud is his lovely assistant and is allowed to bring out all of the girls, who don’t get individual entrances. Thankfully they have them line up in the ring for introductions.

We start with Deonna, who is from New Jersey (Spud: “I don’t know what that is.”) and shy. Carter: “Do you want Spud to tickle you?” Next up is Karlee Perez, more famous as Maxine from NXT. Ethan hits on her and Perez says the only position she wants is on top. Havok is third and the fans know her name before she says anything.

Spud knows her name too but he doesn’t think he could take her home to his mother. Next is Mia Yim, a regular on the indy circuit who the fans also seem to know. Ethan: “Mia what’s your sign?” Mia: “The stop sign.” We also have the redhead Veda Scott, who I believe is a regular in ROH. She’s a cat person so Ethan tries to start a cats chant. Matt Hardy’s wife Reby Sky thinks Spud is the only queen in TNA. Spud: “Sir I told you I don’t like girls.” Ethan: “…..moving on!”

Scarlett (Bordeaux) has a drink in her hand and rubs Spud’s face for some reason. Everybody gets a shot if she wins (Ethan: “SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!”) but Spud shoots the idea down. We wrap it up with Marti Belle, a chick with big hair who hits on Spud. The Rockstar can barely talk so Spud suggests asking her out. We get a closeup of Spud’s face as he looks into the camera and pops his eyebrows in a hilarious shot.

Spud still doesn’t know what to say but Ethan tells him to get to this so they can get married and have little Spud babies. He finally hits on her but can barely get the words out. Spud finally asks her to be his girlfriend and Marti actually says yes. Ethan suggests we get on with the show and we actually run down the card. By that I mean bring out every main roster Knockout to eat up even more time. Here’s the card, complete with an entrance for every Knockout.

Deonna vs. Brooke

Karlee Perez vs. Taryn Terrell

Havok vs. Madison Rayne

Mia Yim vs. Brittany

Veda Scott vs. Gail Kim

Reby Sky vs. Velvet Sky

Scarlett vs. Angelina Love

Marti Belle vs. ODB

Since we haven’t wasted enough time, here’s the end of last year’s gauntlet match to kill more time. Gail Kim eliminated Mickie James to win in case that memorable moment escapes you.

Wait we’re still not ready to go. Let’s get a package on Kim in there first. I’m assuming all of the regular Knockouts will get one of these so I won’t mention them unless they don’t happen or unless something important happens.

Veda Scott vs. Gail Kim

Taz: “It’s time!” Tenay: “It’s time?” Taz: “IT’S VEDA TIME!” I have a feeling the comedy isn’t topping that all night. Wait, let’s wait for Gail to high five all the fans and kiss her husband. We finally get the opening bell nearly half an hour into the show. Scott is kind of like Bayley from NXT as the biggest fan ever, only to sucker Gail in for a shot to the face. Gail throws her into the corner and gets two off a spinning cross body.

We get a breather as Veda is out on the floor, only to have her snap the back of Gail’s neck across the top rope for two. A middle rope clothesline gets two on Gail as the announcers discuss Veda’s sex appeal. Veda cranks on an armbar for a few seconds before Hebner breaks it up for a hair pull. Now the announcers babble about baseball as Veda pulls on Gail’s hair from a camel clutch position.

Back to a kind of reverse cross armbreaker from Veda until Gail rolls out and grabs a half crab. Scott rolls out and slaps Gail a few times but jumps into a kick to the ribs. Gail bounces back up and nails a quick missile dropkick for two before Eat Defeat sends Gail to the gauntlet at 7:35.

Rating: D+. I have a bad feeling this is what we’re going to see a lot of tonight: the rookies putting up a valiant fight and coming up short more often than not. Veda has a good look and can pull off the sexy intellectual well enough but she seems far more like a character than a wrestler. The match wasn’t bad but it felt like it was just waiting to end.

Scarlett puts her drink down to say she’s more than just a party girl, and if you cross her she’ll rip your throat off and do a body shot off you when she’s done.

The Beautiful People think the newcomers are all ugly. Velvet can’t handle thinking about it and they laugh off their opponents for tonight.

Scarlett vs. Angelina Love

Before the match, the Beautiful People think Scarlett is happy to be here because she’s dressed like one of them. Angelina thinks she could be a good third member and show her how to shake it, only to have Love jump her to get things going. Love keeps the mic and talks trash while stomping on Scarlett but thankfully stops soon. A side slam gets two on Scarlett and we hit the chinlock. Love slowly walks around before throwing Scarlett outside for a stomping from Sky. Back in and Scarlett fight back before “hitting” a Codebreaker. She goes after Velvet though and eats the Botox Injection for the pin at 4:50.

Rating: D. Well at least they had a squash here instead of just doing the same thing they did in the first match. Scarlett again comes off like more of a character than a worker, though in her case she’s only 23 and still needs experience. Nothing special here though and you knew at least one of the Beautiful People was going though.

Reby Sky, who looks a good bit like Trish Stratus, says she’s here to beat the girl to become the girl. Ethan Carter comes up to hit on her again and gets blown off.

Reby Sky vs. Velvet Sky

The bell rings but we have to stop for Velvet to check her hair. She quickly takes Reby down and rubs her face into the mat until Reby comes back with some forearms. She avoid a charging Velvet and there’s the required spank. A baseball slide sends Velvet into Angelina but Love trips Reby up to take over.

Velvet screams in her face a lot and stomps away in the corner for two. Velvet misses a charge in the corner but shoves Reby down into the splits. Back up and a double clothesline puts both girls down. Reby gets up first and nails a few kicks to the face but Love gets on the apron to distract the referee. Hairspray goes into Velvet’s eyes by mistake though, allowing Reby to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: C-. Better here as Reby is a more experienced girl and they had a different story. It helps that Reby didn’t have a goofy character to drag her down either. Not much to see here and they managed to protect Velvet at the same time by having some shenanigans cause the loss.

Havok is here to dominate. She’s actually talking here and has a full head of hair.

Jessica Havok vs. Madison Rayne

Madison mocks Havok (without the eye paint) to start and is launched across the ring like a feather. Some forearms get Madison nowhere as Havok drops her with a shot to the ribs. Havok rolls outside but easily catches Madison’s dive. Madison is sent into the steps and gets beaten up even more back inside. A bearhug has Madison in even more trouble but Havok makes it even worse by lifting her into the air for a full nelson.

Havok sends her down in the corner again but misses a charge. Madison comes back with some kicks to the ribs and the side of the head to knock her outside. Now the dive off the top takes Havok down but Madison runs into a boot back inside. Madison goes to the middle rope and hits a quick spear for the win at 8:33.

Rating: C. I liked this better than the rest of them as Madison actually had to fight to win instead of getting a surprise win or something out of nowhere. Havok looked like a monster here and it’s easy to see why she got a job out of this performance. She’s actually different than most of the other Knockouts ever and that’s the best thing the division could have.

Taryn Terrell says the Last Knockout Standing and ladder matches were nothing compared to what she’ll do tonight.

Taryn’s video is much more a Terrell vs. Kim video than just about her.

Taryn Terrell vs. Karlee Perez

Before the match Karlee says everything about Taryn is fake and gets slapped in the face to start things off. Karlee drives knees into her back and puts on a chinlock. Off to a full nelson for a bit before Taryn comes back with a sunset flip for two. Karlee kicks her in the head for the same but Taryn grabs the hair for some flips to take over. Perez grabs a crucifix, only to be driven into the corner, setting up an RKO to give Terrell the pin at 4:32.

Rating: D+. Things fell back down here as Terrell just isn’t capable of carrying a match on her own yet. Perez has the attitude to be something special but her in ring work needs more time. Granted most of the time she’s been a character rather than a wrestler, so maybe they should go back to that if Perez is to get a job long term.

Video on the Knockouts swimsuit calendar.

Mia Yim was here last year but promises to make a better impact this year.

Mia Yim vs. Brittany

Brittany grabs a wristlock to start and actually nails a headbutt. Yim grabs the ropes ala Manik and ducks a charge, sending Brittany out to the floor. That earns her a trip from Brittany to send Mia face first into the apron. A suicide dive takes Yim out again for two but she comes back with an ankle lock to take over. Brittany comes back with a Last Chancery which they don’t call a Last Chancery because it’s move infringement and Aries might shove his crotch into someone’s face.

Taz makes more sex jokes as Yim fakes Brittany out and dropkicks her down for two. Some weak looking strikes have Brittany in trouble but she comes back with a Fujiwara armbar to make Mia slap the mat a lot. That’s not tapping out for reasons that are unclear but my guess is that it’s not the finish. A handspring elbow nails Mia in the corner but she counters a Stratusphere attempt with a bunch of forearms and a missile dropkick gets two. Yim gets slammed off the top but avoids a handspring moonsault. A quick rolling cradle is enough to pin Brittany at 6:51.

Rating: C. I liked this more than I thought I would with Yim looking far more polished than a lot of these newcomers. She should probably get a mainstream job in the future but due to being solid in the ring and not a blonde model, she might not be exactly what WWE is looking for. Nice match though and probably Brittany’s best performance ever.

Deonna vs. Brooke

No idea who Deonna is but she looks nervous. We keep up the talking theme tonight with Brooke insulting the crowd and mocking Deonna’s gear, which is basically just shiny workout gear. Deonna admits that Brooke is better in every aspect than her, but at least she isn’t a wench. A quick rollup attempt gets two for Deonna and Brooke bails to the floor, saying she wasn’t ready. Back in and Brooke takes over as the announcers debate the meaning of “wench”.

A slam sends Brooke back to the floor but Deonna goes after her this time, only to get kicked in the face for her efforts. Brooke grabs the mic again and calls herself mama before talking trash. Now the announcers make jokes about throwing each other out, marking the first good idea they’ve had all night. Brooke stomps away in the corner and the Stinkface hits shoulder. Deonna avoids a middle rope elbow and both girls are down. Some low speed Irish whips send Brooke into the corner and a suplex gets two. Brooke’s cheating rollup is caught but the Tesshocker ends Deonna a few seconds later at 7:31.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. Brooke looked great but the whole shy rookie thing was done better by Scott earlier in the night. They’re running out of ideas for matches here and it’s getting annoying to sit through. Granted that happens at all of these shows though so it’s nothing new. I don’t want to imagine what it would be like without the filler though.

Gail Kim did a photo shoot for Muscle and Fitness. More filler.

ODB doesn’t know much about Marti Belle but says bring her on. Spud comes in and says he’ll be in Belle’s corner tonight.

Marti Belle vs. ODB

Spud finally brings himself to give Marti a kiss on the cheek. A quick chest bump puts Marti down in the corner and ODB sends her into the buckle. ODB spends too much time yelling at Spud though and gets dropkicked out to the floor. Taz starts singing Like A Virgin as ODB gets knocked back off the apron.

Back in and ODB misses a top rope dive and gets choked on the ropes. An abdominal stretch doesn’t get Marti anywhere as the announcers are talking about Man O War (a famous racehorse in case you’re unfamiliar) for no apparent reason. ODB comes back with a Bronco Buster and the fall away slam connects, only to have Spud hook her leg to give Marti a small package for the pin at 6:14.

Rating: D. Thank goodness ODB is gone from TNA. She’s been doing the same act for years now and it stopped being funny about 18 seconds after she debuted. Marti was nothing special and I can’t imagine we’ll be seeing any more of her in the near future. This show needs to end soon because it’s starting to run out of the little steam it had in the first place.

Belle breaks up with Spud post match in the most interesting thing she’s done all night. Spud: “WE WERE GOING TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER! WE WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP ON FACEBOOK!” ODB cracks up and Spud says he hates women. Spud makes another match right now.

ODB vs. Rockstar Spud

Spud gets shoved down to start but he sends her face first into the buckle to take over. For some reason Spud starts ripping off his clothes, earning him some hard chops to the chest. Another Broco Buster connects and Spud loses his pants, revealing some small, stained underwear. The Bam finally ends Spud at 3:22.

Rating: F. This wasn’t funny as even Spud has his limits. On to anything else please.

We recap the evening to eat up even more time.

Gauntlet Match

Royal Rumble style with two minute intervals. Gail Kim is #1 and Brooke is in at #2. Kim hammers away to start but gets sent hard into the corner to put her on the mat. Gail comes back with more forearms until Mia Yim is in at #3. Mia takes out Brooke but walks into a double clothesline from Gail, allowing the announcers to rhyme Yim and Kim far more often than necessary.

Reby Sky is in at #4 for some clotheslines of her own until Gail tries to dump her over the corner. Angelina Love is in at #5 as this is one of the most boring battle royals I’ve ever seen so far. Gail sends Reby shoulder first into the post and goes right after Angelina as she comes in. Everyone goes after Angelina as the announcers keep rhyming for no apparent reason. Love gets knocked to the apron but hangs on. Instead she dumps Reby to clean the ring out a bit as Madison Rayne is in at #6.

Gail and Mia fight in the corner until Marti Belle is in at #7. All six girls in the ring get knocked down as this match is just dying. Taryn Terrell is in at #8 as there is just nothing going on between these entrances. Taryn throws out Belle and Gail dumps Brooke. Love tosses Terrell as the ring is suddenly a lot more empty. Angelina knocks Gail out and Rayne gets double teamed. The Botox Injection hits Marti by mistake, allowing Madison to dump her as well.

So it’s Love vs. Rayne in a one on one match now with pins and submissions. Love runs to the back because this show WON’T FREAKING END. Madison chases after her and winds up kicking both Beautiful People through the entrance. Back in and Sky trips Rayne down as the announcers start ripping on the referee. Love puts on a full nelson with her legs but gets caught in a sunset flip out of the corner for two. Off to a chinlock from Love before Madison fights out to ram Angelina face first into the mat a few times. Sky grabs the hairspray but blasts her partner by mistake, allowing Rayne to spear Love for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was one of the most boring battle royals I’ve ever seen. The girls came in, they were quickly eliminated, and we had Angelina and Madison have a boring match with the same ending we saw earlier in the night. Madison winning is fine but this continues to mean nothing and bored me half to death.

Madison is awarded the crown with Gail Kim coming out to award it to her to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was one of the weakest entries in this series so far. It’s a one note idea that stopped being interesting after about four matches, especially when the newcomers wound up meaning nothing at all. The Spud stuff was funny for awhile and then didn’t even tie into the ending of the show. The show wasn’t so much bad as much as it was incredibly dull, which is often far worse.

Above the bad wrestling though was all the filler. With nearly half an hour to get to the show and then all the generic videos about the girls, this show pretty easily could have been cut down by 45 minutes to an hour. Why not have the videos about the newcomers? Or would that been putting actual effort into one of these? Bad show here but it was nice to see some fresh Knockouts.

Results

Gail Kim b. Veda Scott – Eat Defeat

Angelina Love b. Scarlett – Botox Injection

Reby Sky b. Velvet Sky – Rollup

Madison Rayne b. Jessica Havok – Middle rope spear

Taryn Terrell b. Karlee Perez – RKO

Mia Yim b. Brittany – Rolling cradle

Brooke b. Deonna – Tesshocker

Marti Belle b. ODB – Small package

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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ODB b. Rockstar Spud – Bam

Madison Rayne won a gauntlet match last eliminating Angelina Love

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 12, 2014
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re down to just two episodes left but I’m sure the TV deal is coming any day now, right Dixie? The main story at the moment is the build to Roode vs. Lashley III, but as is the case with everything else, there isn’t anywhere to actually air the match. We also have the Wolves vs. the Hardys coming up at some point. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of MVP getting on Lashley’s nerves last week and then losing a title shot.

Lashley is waiting for MVP but finds Kenny King. He asks where MVP is but King doesn’t know. That’s not good enough though as Lashley wants to know where MVP is. King keeps walking and doesn’t like Lashley’s attitude.

Here’s the Revolution to open the show. Storm offered Richards a chance to join the team last week and now he wants his answer. He gets both of the Wolves though with Eddie saying that the answer is always going to be….cut off by Davey apparently. Davey says he can speak for himself and he’s been listening to what Storm has been saying. A lot of it makes sense, but after after all this time, he’s come to the conclusion that Storm is out of his mind.

The answer is no so Storm sends the Revolution after them. Storm uses his noose around Davey’s legs before crushing it with a chair. Security gets rid of Storm but he comes back with a briefcase. Edwards tries to fight back but takes a briefcase to the head. Eddie takes a case shot to the ankle before Storm yells at the referee. The case is his Feast or Fired Tag Team Title briefcase, meaning he has a shot with a partner of his choice at any time.

Tag Team Titles: James Storm/??? vs. Wolves

James covers Eddie for two before planting him with the Eye of the Storm. Storm grabs the mic and says he told Edwards to stay out of it. Cue Abyss as the newest member of the Revolution. A chokeslam to Edwards sets up the Black Hole Slam to give Storm the pin and the titles at 3:06. I’m not rating it due to the announcement and entrance taking up so much time but this was an angle instead of a match.

Storm lays out Richards post match for good measure.

Madison Rayne vs. Taryn Terrell

Taryn gets jumped as she comes in but fires away on Madison. Rayne runs up the ramp but Terrell throws her back into the ring for another beating. Madison comes back with a kick to the ribs for some two counts as frustration is starting to set in. Taryn’s face is bounced off the mat for two but Madison runs into some knees in the corner. A running neckbreaker drops Madison and Taryn is all fired up….until she runs into a boot in the corner. Madison hammers away but the Rayne Check is countered into an RKO to give Terrell the pin at 6:38.

Rating: C-. Not bad here as Terrell is starting to look better out there every week. Madison getting beat is a good thing for her as she can only win the title so many times before it stops meaning anything (see also Gail Kim). Terrell vs. Havok could be interesting if they let it go the right way but it would be tricky.

Lashley comes up to Angle and demands his rematch tonight. That can’t happen because Roode isn’t here, so Lashley gets in Angle’s face. The tension continues to grow.

Sheera, the Indian wrestler, is in the back when Manik jumps on his back. In a friendly way of course. Manik says there’s a powerful man that Sheera is ready to meet. Sheera goes off with him.

Here’s Kenny King with something to say. He doesn’t like the fact that Lashley is so angry at everyone because it means bad things for Impact Wrestling. However, he’s here to address Chris Melendez, who had a little dust up with him a few weeks back. Cue Melendez and Anderson with King calling Melendez a fraud.

That’s not cool with Anderson who calls Melendez a hero and an inspiration. King says he’s talking to peggy over here because Melendez doesn’t belong in this ring. He wants to fight Chris one on one but Melendez says Anderson is his role model. King says role models don’t exist and sucker punches Anderson before running.

Gail Kim and Taryn are in Angle’s office to complain about Havok so Angle makes a triple threat for the title next week.

Menagerie vs. BroMans/Beautiful People

Handicap elimination tag. Angelina and Rebel get things going with Love avoiding a kick and scoring with a dropkick for two. Rebel comes right back with a quick rollup for the pin to get us down to 3-3. Off to Knux vs. Jesse with the big man cleaning house with a cartwheel into a dropkick for two. Knux lifts DJZ up for a slam but Jesse dropkicks his partner’s back and grabs the foot, giving DJZ a fast pin.

Steve rolls up DJZ for the pin a second later, leaving us with Sky/Jesse vs. Steve/Rebel. The girls go at it for a bit until Angelina sneaks back in with hairspray to Rebel, giving Sky the pin. DJZ flips Steve into a facebuster, setting up a gorilla press drop. Sky comes back in to kick Steve in the ribs, only to get rolled up (and kissed) for the pin. It’s down to Jesse vs. Steve with the Craazy one being powerbombed for an arrogant two. Jesse puts him on the top but gets caught in a tornado DDT for the pin at 7:04.

Rating: D. This was a waste of time as they could have just done Steve vs. Jesse and gotten the same result. I have no idea why they had to do an elimination tag other than maybe Survivor Series coming up. Nothing to see here as this match was a mess with the eliminations coming so fast that you couldn’t keep up with them.

Eric Young is in the back when Spud comes up and asks to be in his corner tonight. Young says okey dokey.

We look at the opening again.

The Revolution is in the back with Storm telling Abyss that this is just beginning. Sheera comes in but Storm spits on him and tells him to leave. Storm whispers something to Manik who bows and leaves.

Eric Young vs. Tyrus

Young goes after Tyrus to start but the big man throws him into the corner and heart punches him out to the floor. Back in and Young tries a slam for the exact result you would expect. We hit the nerve hold on Young before Big E.’s Big Ending plants Eric again. A Vader Bomb misses though and Young fires off whatever he can. Spud stops Carter’s interference as Young shoves Tyrus off the top, setting up a top rope elbow for the pin at 4:50.

Rating: D+. At least Young isn’t in the main event anymore. The guy just does not fit in that role so moving him down to hopefully put Carter over at some point is a good idea. Spud needs to do something to get his momentum back, even though that’s rarely something that can be done.

Post match Lashley runs in and cleans house, including Pillmanizing Young’s arm and putting him in a Crossface. Austin Aries comes out with a chair of his own for the save. A challenge is made for later.

Brittany is with Samuel Shaw in the back and says Gunner came onto her. Shaw isn’t pleased and storms off.

Here’s Samoa Joe who says he has to make a difficult but correct decision. He isn’t medically cleared to compete for quite awhile and therefore he can’t defend the title. When he won the X-Division Title again, it was to rebuild the division that the company started on. The wrestlers in the division as well as the fans deserve better, so he’s vacating the title tonight. There will be a new champion crowned but the belt is a beacon to bring Joe back for his title.

Bram wants to face Tommy Dreamer in a hardcore match next week. Dreamer’s time is over so he’s going to bleed next week.

Gunner vs. Samuel Shaw

No DQ. Shaw hides next to the entrance and jumps Gunner at the entrance. We pause so Shaw can kiss Brittany, allowing Gunner to take over again. Shaw sends him into the post but again looks at Brittany, setting up a fall away slam from Gunner. They head inside with a bunch of chairs, including one going into Shaw’s ribs. He comes back with a dropkick to send a chair into Gunner’s face but Gunner escapes the choke.

A Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor and Brittany makes sure Shaw is ok. She distracts Gunner again, allowing Shaw to send him face first into the steps. Back in and Gunner punches Shaw out of the air before stacking up the chairs on the floor. A superplex puts both guys down on the chairs but Brittany gets up on the apron again.

That’s fine with Gunner who powerbombs Shaw off the apron and onto the steps. All three get in now and Brittany kicks Gunner low before trying to drag Shaw over. Gunner grabs her leg though, allowing Shaw to nail him in the back with a chair. He takes too long to go for his choke though and takes an F5 onto the chairs for the pin at 8:58.

Rating: D. Good grief this felt long. These guys have been feuding for almost six months now and for the life of me I have no idea what either guy has gained from it. I can barely remember why they’re even fighting anymore and I really don’t care. Shaw is just not an interesting character and it shows more and more every time he gets in the ring.

Austin Aries vs. Lashley

Aries throws his shirt in Lashley’s face to start and tries an early brainbuster but is easily powered down. The Last Chancery doesn’t work either as Lashley throws him out to the floor. Aries nails the running dropkick against the barricade to take over but Lashley shrugs off the missile dropkick back inside. Lashley shoves him out of the corner and we take a break.

Back with Lashley snapping off so many belly to belly suplexes that even Scott Steiner would say something incomprehensible about sugar or being from a highly educated university. Oh and freaks. Always freaks. The spear is blocked though and Aries scores with a missile dropkick. Some discus forearms put Lashley on the floor for the suicide dive but Lashley throws him into the steps. The spear connects on the floor but it’s a double countout at 15:23.

Rating: B-. These guys have always had good chemistry and I liked the ending they went with. Lashley doesn’t care about anything but the title and is willing to destroy someone like Aries to get there. Austin is going to bounce back up and be one of the most popular guys in the company again just by smiling so there’s no damage.

Lashley press slams Aries on the ramp and puts Aries in the Crossface to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was one of the less annoying shows they’ve had in awhile but unfortunately the TV deal looms over everything. They cut out a lot of the drama tonight and just let people wrestle. Unfortunately a lot of that wrestling wasn’t great but the show flew by and didn’t get on my nerves, which is a huge step up for them in a lot of ways. They’re setting up some intriguing stuff, but we’re likely going to have to wait at least a month for any of the payoffs. Decent show tonight with some promise for the future, assuming there is one.

Results

James Storm/Abyss b. Wolves – Black Hole Slam to Edwards

Taryn Terrell b. Madison Rayne – RKO

Menagerie b. BroMans/Beautiful People – Tornado DDT to Godderz

Eric Young b. Tyrus – Top rope elbow

Gunner b. Samuel Shaw – F5 onto a chair

Lashley vs. Austin Aries went to a double countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Today we’ll look at someone a bit better looking than Raven: Mickie James.

Mickie got started under the name Alexis Laree in 1999. She was mainly a manager but also wrestled at times. We’ll pick things up with an indy company called Southern Championship Wrestling on June 28, 2001.

Alexis Laree vs. Persephone

I’ve never heard of Persephone. Alexis has a title here and is rocking (?) some spiked shoulder pads ala the Legion of Doom. She stalls to start for awhile and Persephone is clearly the favorite. Laree jumps her and they slug it out with the champion getting the better of it. Persephone gets two off a rollup and two more off a fisherman’s suplex. A low blow has no effect on Persephone so Alexis kicks her in the back a few times.

Laree goes outside for no apparent reason and gets caught with a baseball slide to the back. They chop it out on the floor with Persephone getting the better of it, only to have Alexis take over back inside. Some other chick comes out and pulls Alexis to the floor for a beating and I’m assuming that’s a DQ.

Rating: D+. They weren’t all that good yet but it was clear that they were needing ring time more than anything else. The match wasn’t terrible but it was smart to cut it as short as they did. Persephone was pretty much a Lita knockoff with blonde hair, but to be fair Lita was the most popular Diva in like forever at this point.

Laree would head to TNA where she would appear on Weekly PPV #38 on April 2, 2003.

Trinity vs. Alexis Laree

Trinity takes her into the corner to start but Alexis grabs a wristlock. That gets her taken down into an armbar and a headscissors sends Alexis outside. Back in and Laree takes over with kicks to the back followed by a basement dropkick for two. Trinity gets thrown outside and the camera makes sure to get in position behind her. Back in and Trinity kicks her in the face but takes WAY too long going up. Trinity is able to shove her down but misses the moonsault. This brings out Raven to sit in the corner, but Trinity kicks Alexis in the face and hits a standing shooting star for the pin.

Rating: D+. Trinity is an old favorite of mine as she was always in great shape and had the awesome looking long black hair. Oh and she could hit a great moonsault. Anyway, this was back when the division was just past Bruce being the women’s champion so these two were a breath of fresh air. Alexis got WAY better since 2001.

Off to OVW, where Alexis was actually in a TV Title tournament. She beat Mike Mondo in the first round, setting up this second round match. From OVW TV on May 28, 2005.

TV Title Tournament Second Round: Bobby Lashley vs. Alexis Laree

Lashley gives her the chance to walk out before the match but one of his managers named Miss Blue offers to take his place. They get in a catfight in the ring until Lashley pulls Alexis off. The bell rings and it’s a powerslam to give Lashley the pin. Yes this was just a novelty to fill in a spot.

Alexis would start going by her real name of Mickie James and debut in WWE in late 2005. She started as a lesbian stalker of Trish Stratus, setting up an eventual showdown at Wrestlemania XXII.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

Mickie is challenging and has those awesome skirts that go all over the place. Trish is looking great too with the usual attire but showing her stomach as well. Trish is all aggressive here and chops Mickie down into the splits. They head to the floor but the Chick Kick hits the post. Mickie wraps the leg around the post and is still looking very psycho. Back in and a dropkick to the knee takes Trish down again, as does a dragon screw leg whip for two.

The fans chant for Mickie and I can’t say I blame them. Mickie wraps the leg around the ropes before driving it down into the mat for good measure. Off to a half crab followed by a knee crank but Trish power up and hooks a spinning headscissors to put James down. Trish comes back with the forearms and a spinebuster of all things for two. Trish’s corner splash hits feet but as Mickie goes up, Stratus tries the Stratusphere but gets slammed down for a sexy two. A rana is countered into a powerbomb for two and Trish is TICKED.

Trish tries the Matrish but the knee gives out. Instead she tries Stratusfaction but Mickie gropes Trish’s crotch to break it up. It’s exactly what it sounds like. Mickie licks her fingers so Trish DRILLS HER with a forearm. Trish keeps firing away but the knee gives out, and then the match falls off the rails. Mickie tries the Stratusfaction but COMPLETELY misses the rope, making it almost look like a botched atomic drop by Trish. Instead Mickie hits a lame Chick Kick to end Trish’s reign. JR sums it up perfectly: “The nutjob won the title!”

Rating: B-. This was one of the best Divas matches ever but the ending cripples it. The idea here was that it wasn’t a women’s match but rather a match featuring women in it. These two were beating each other up and Trish had real emotion out there. Mickie was PERFECT for this character and you really felt like she had a screw loose. The sexuality was there but it wasn’t the focus which is nice for a change. It’s nice to see a real story and a real fight between two people who happen to be gorgeous women. Good stuff here.

We’ll jump ahead to Mickie challenging for the title again at Survivor Series 2006.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Mickie James

Lita is defending and this is her retirement match. I miss Mickie with those skirts that keep flying up. Lita slaps Mickie in the face to start, causing Mickie to choke away in the corner. The champ comes back by literally throwing Mickie around which is a bit less than what you would expect from someone as talented as Lita. Mickie goes up and gets slammed off the top as this is one sided so far.

A quick snap suplex gets two for Lita as this continues to be slow. I can’t at all complain about the upskirt shots of Mickie though. Off to a sleeper by Lita which is the last thing this match needed. Mickie gets in the ropes and avoids a charge in the corner. She goes up and is immediately suplexed down for two. Now the fans think Lita has herpes.

Mickie hits a SWEET spinning kick to take Lita’s head off followed by a fisherman’s suplex for two (and a GREAT crotch shot of Mickie). Moonsault gets two for Lita but the Edgecution is countered, giving Mickie two. They trade rollups and Mickie hits the jumping DDT to retire Lita and win the title.

Rating: D. Most of that is for getting great views of Mickie and Lita’s rocking cleavage. Other than that, this was some pretty uninspired stuff. Lita left when she should have as she had nothing left to accomplish and no one like Trish to work with. Pretty terrible match here but it passed the torch to Mickie who was indeed the future of the division.

Since this is the Divas division, we have to jump around a lot and go from title match to title match. Here’s another match from Backlash 2007.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Mickie James

Melina is defending. Mickie is getting her return match here and is looking very bouncy tonight. They head to the mat to start with Mickie hitting a monkey flip for one. Off to a headlock by the challenger which is reversed into one by Melina. Mickie escapes that with ease so Melina pounds away as she can’t win a wrestling match here. Mickie mounts her (lucky) and pounds away as well.

James goes up top but gets sent out to the floor to give Melina control. She chokes Mickie in the ropes and then hooks a full nelson with her legs. Now it’s a choke in the corner but Mickie escapes. And never mind as Melina comes off with a seated senton to take over again immediately. That gets two so Mickie tries her spin kick. That fails also as Melina counters, sending Mickie down into the splits. James hooks Melina’s legs and they slug it out with both girls in a splits position.

Mickie makes her comeback with forearms and hair tosses. She’s very fired up here and it looks like a good comeback instead of the usual lame Divas offense. Mickie’s rana out of the corner is countered as Melina sends her to the apron. She pops back up and hits a top rope cross body for two. Back to the corner and Melina hits a kick to the head followed by a reverse DDT to retain.

Rating: C+. This was one of the best Divas match I’ve seen in YEARS. Mickie was awesome as was Melina, but most importantly of all: this was treated like a match between two women, rather than a Divas match if that makes sense. The match wasn’t treated like anything different, which is the best thing they could do with the Divas anymore. Also it got time, which helped a lot.

We’ll jump ahead a good bit to Judgment Day 2008 for a match with probably Mickie’s biggest rival.

Raw Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Melina vs. Mickie James

Mickie is champion. So we’re like an hour and 10 minutes into this show and the Smackdown guys haven’t called a single thing. Gotta love the treatment of the B show. Beth and Melina argued about the title shot and we see why Beth doesn’t talk like ever. Mickie is still all bubbly and hot at this point. Not that she’s not hot now but you get this idea. THIS somehow gets big match intros. Wow indeed.

Beth tells Melina to get out of her ring so Melina drills her with a kick. Mickie grabs a victory roll for two on Melina and it’s one on one for awhile. Beth pulls her out and it’s challenger vs. challenger. Yeah I don’t care either but you have three hot chicks out there so how much can I complain?

Mickie back in now and we get some nifty triple person spots. James throws on something like a Tazmission on Beth which goes nowhere. Regal Cutter to Melina allows Mickie to go up, only to get….uh…..pussied by Melina. They speed things up a bit and Mickie gets a top rope Thesz Press to Beth followed by a HARD seated dropkick. In your HOLY CRAP spot of the night, Beth puts them both in an over the shoulder body vice for about 12 seconds. Mickie gets the jumping DDT to Melina quickly after that to retain but dude, WHO CARES? I’m still getting over that body vice move which was insanely awesome.

Rating: C+. Better Divas match than usual actually as all three chicks were working hard out there and the result was rather good stuff. When Melina is the ugliest chick out there you can’t really go wrong. With an awesome spot like that and a pretty good match other than that, this was one of the better Diva matches I’ve seen in awhile.

Off to Raw on September 8, 2008 for a required six Divas tag.

Jillian Hall/Katie Lea Burchill/Beth Phoenix vs. Mickie James/Candice Michelle, Kelly Kelly

The Divas were much hotter in 2008. Beth is Women’s Champion and says she’s a great champion, which is a message to Orton. She says no one can challenge her which draws out Candice to be the mystery partner or something. Kelly vs. Katie to start with Kelly proving why she should stick to looking good, which she is in a bikini and chaps.

Off to Mickie and Jillian with Mickie getting caught in the heel corner. Beth comes in for a slingshot suplex for two. A neckbreaker lets Mickie tag in Candice, who just wasn’t that good. She cleans house and goes up in the heel corner for a cross body. Beth rolls through but Candice rolls into an ugly small package for the pin.

Rating: D+. Candice brought this WAY down. She was botching everything she tried and really messed up the match. They tried really hard to make her into the big deal of the division and it never quite worked. On another note, the Divas looked WAY better back then and could work better matches too. Such a shame.

Mickie would go after the newly created Divas Title at Night of Champions 2009.

Raw Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Maryse

Make it quick please. Yeah as looks go, Mickie is way ahead of Maryse. The fans want puppies. And people wonder why this division is never taken seriously. The match is your standard slapfest of course. Maryse tries to use her perfume or whatever but gets stopped.

We’re in our second rest hold six minutes into the match. This just isn’t interesting at all. Cole almost says the name of the wrong title. There is simply no need to have two belts. If you had just one it could potentially work. Mickie hits her jumping DDT to get the title to next to no reaction.

Rating: D. People don’t care about women’s wrestling and that’s really all there is to it. It’s not nice but it’s true. This just wasn’t interesting at all. The buildup was Mickie has beaten the jobbers this month so she gets the title shot because she’s on a roll. That’s it. I’m looking forward to Michelle vs. Mickie as there’s an actual story to it. This didn’t and it was painfully obvious.

Mickie would get into a controversial feud with Laycool over Mickie’s weight, which is practically not there. Here’s their showdown at Royal Rumble 2010.

Women’s Title: Michelle McCool vs. Mickie James

Pre match Michelle runs her mouth about how fat Mickie is and accuses her of skipping out on the match. Michelle offers cake and here’s Layla in a Mickie Pig costume. The real Mickie sprints to the ring and hits a Thesz Press on Layla on the floor. She heads inside, sends Michelle into Layla and hits the MickieDT for the pin and the title in 20 seconds.

It was off to TNA after this with Mickie with one of her first major matches at Against All Odds 2011.

Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James

Madison’s song is irritating as all goodness. Mickie is dressed like Pocahontas for some reason. She’s sent into the steps and the count is on. Remember that you have to answer a ten count or you lose. They fight up the ramp a bit with Madison in control. Mickie gets in a shot to send Madison into the post for about five. Taz tries to take a shot at the Divas and it doesn’t work that well.

Mickie gets a kick in and clotheslines Madison using the rope to send her to the floor for seven. Cross body off the apron by Mickie puts both girls down. She tries to get the loaded glove off but can’t quite get there. And now we have a shot of the empty ring as the girls are under the ring. Madison comes out as you can hear the crowd talking. Ah there’s Mickie.

She morphs into karate action Mickie to put Madison down with a series of kicks. And then with Madison down Mickie picks her up like a moron. Back in the ring Mickie goes up and gets shoved off to the floor. That gets a long nine which probably should have been ten. Madison loads up the glove but Mickie gets a shot to the arm.

Thesz Press off the top puts Madison down for two. Spinning kick puts the champion down again and Mickie steals the glove. At about 8 Tara (called Victoria by Tazz) comes out to break it up. Madison pulls brass knucks out of her boot and drills Mickie to keep the freaking title. Oh dang it just give Mickie her title already!

Rating: C+. Decent match here but the ending was just stupid. There is ZERO justification to keep the title on Madison here and yet they’re just going to keep on doing it. Well sure why not. It’s not like no one cares about her or she’s nothing special in the ring or her gimmick is boring. Good match, bad decision at the end.

Mickie would put her hair on the line for a chance at the Knockouts Title at Lockdown 2011.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

Mickie’s shoulder is taped and Madison can’t get her tiara off. At least the girls both look great. Mickie jumps Madison as the bell rings and sends her into the cage three times within the first twenty seconds. Jumping DDT and we’re done in 30 seconds.

We’ll jump to TV for a bit with Impact, September 1, 2011.

Knockouts Title: Winter vs. Mickie James

Mickie goes nuts on her to start and grabs a rollup for two. Angelina tries to throw the belt in and gets ejected. Mickie grabs a half crab and Tazz says it’s very hard to get out of. Less than 3 seconds later Winter grabs the rope and is out of it. Great analysis there Brooklyn dude. Mickie has dominated most of this. The jumping DDT is avoided and both grab the other by the hair and slam them into the mat.

Winter tries that spinning slam but Mickie gets some elbows in and a rollup gets two for each chick. A slow jumping DDT hits for Mickie but Winter gets her foot under the ropes. I’m really glad that wasn’t the ending as it would have looked bad. Enziguri puts Mickie down for two. Winter tries to choke Mickie with something but Hebner makes the save. Mickie kicks Winter upside her head and gets the title back at 6:00.

Rating: D+. This got sloppy in some places like Mickie intentionally having to cover Winter weird so she could get the foot on the ropes. I cannot stand stuff like that because it looks so fake and totally takes the drama out of a near fall. I also don’t get the point in putting the title right back on Mickie after Winter had it for just a few weeks but since this is TNA, I’m sure the answer is “GIVE IT MORE TIME.”

Another one from January 19, 2012.

Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

Mickie starts fast and rams her into the buckle to start. Powerbomb out of the corner hits and we’re officially longer than the Lockdown match from last year. Seated dropkick gets a delayed two. Mickie hooks something like a choke and Madison is in trouble. Madison escapes and hits a HARD kick to take over. That sounded great. Mickie reverses a whip and we take a break.

Back with Mickie in control again. This has been pretty one sided so far. Mickie takes her down and nips up but Madison sends her into the cage to take over. Madison humps the mat with Mickie’s head between her legs. Somehow that’s a lot less hot than you would expect. Off to the chinlock. Madison has a little American flag patch on her shorts. Not sure why but it looks good there.

Mickie fights up and a neckbreaker from James puts both of them down. They slug it out, won by Mickie. A flying forearm and clothesline put Madison down. Another flapjack attempt is countered and a boot gets two for Rayne. And then Mickie rams her into the cage a few times and the jumping DDT gets the pin at 12:23.

Rating: C. Not bad here but nothing classic. It’s so much better in this division than the Divas, and a lot of that is due to the time. The Divas matches get annoying because they’re just there and gone so fast that they don’t mean anything. The Knockouts don’t have masterpieces but they have matches, which is a big step in the right direction.

Mickie would go after the title again because there aren’t many stories with the Knockouts. From Final Resolution 2012.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Tara

They fight over wrist/arm control to start as the announcers talk about Tara being in her city’s athletics hall of fame. This turns into a discussion of USC football as Tara wants to kiss Jesse a bit. Mickie gets a rollup and northern lights for a pair of two counts and there’s the rana to put Tara down again. Tara gets sent into Jesse but the distraction lets Tara get in a kick to the face to take over.

Back in and Tara hooks Mickie in an over the shoulder hair pull. Why she doesn’t just hit the Widow’s Peak from there is anyone’s guess. Mickie gets a rollup for two but Jesse has the referee’s attention. The spinning sidewalk slam gets two for Tara and it’s off to a body vice for the champ. Mickie makes her comeback with a lot of kicks (a running theme tonight) and gets two off an enziguri. Tara is thrown onto Jesse again, so Mickie hits a Thesz Press off the top to the floor to take Tara out again. Jesse gets kicked in the face, but the distraction lets Tara hit the Widow’s Peak to retain at 7:51.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but again, we need new blood in the division. Not blood that hasn’t been around for awhile, but new blood in general. Jesse was the focus of this match which isn’t a good thing, but Mickie vs. Tara is such a played pairing that you can only care about it so much after this many matches.

We’ll wrap it up with Mickie’s last title win on Impact, May 23, 2013.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Velvet Sky

Velvet is defending and has a bad knee coming in. Mickie takes it down to the mat to start and cranks on the arm, only to have Velvet hit a fast dropkick for two. They slug it out until Mickie hits something like a swinging Bubba Bomb before hooking a full nelson as we take a break. Back with Velvet down and being put in a chinlock, only to fight up with an armdrag. Velvet fires off some clotheslines but her knee is giving out again. A headscissors gets the champion nowhere and I think they screw up a sequence setting up a Russian legsweep.

The second attempt works a bit better but Velvet is sent into the corner for a kick to the ribs. Now the headscissors works for Sky but her knee gives out after Mickie is down. A hard chop block takes Velvet down and Mickie has that evil look on her face for the first time in way too long. The MickieDT is enough for the pin and the title at 8:47.

Rating: D+. Mickie and Velvet both looked GREAT out there in their outfits, but the match was so sloppy that it was dragging things down. Velvet continues to look just a step above lost in the ring and Mickie can only do so much with her. Mickie seemingly turning heel here is a good thing though as she can play the psycho villain very well. The match wasn’t much though.

Mickie James was the successor to Trish and Lita and she held that up very well. The problem is she didn’t have the best crop of talent to work with her and it caused some issues. That being said, she can have a great match with the right opponent. The fact that she’s absolutely gorgeous didn’t hurt either.

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Global Impact Japan
Date: July 4, 2014
Location: Ry?goku Kokugikan, Tokyo, Japan
Attendance: 5,800
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

This is another One Night Only show with the roster heading to Japan for a show co-promoted by the Wrestle-1 promotion. Naturally, what better day to hold it on thant he Fourth of July? This show has three title matches, all of which have been spoiled on Impact in the four months since this was taped. I hope you like this, as this is very similar to what Bound For Glory is going to be this year. Let’s get to it.

The opening video shows a lot of the traveling as a voiceover talks about how awesome this is for TNA. Magnus is the main star featured in the video as he was the World Champion when this took place.

Bad Influence vs. Junior Stars

The Junior Stars are Koji Kanemoto and Minoru Tanaka. Kanemoto wrestled at Starrcade 1995 and invented the Koji Clutch. Tanaka was in TNA for the 2006 World X-Cup. I’m assuming the Junior part is for their weight class and not for their ages. Daniels and Tanaka get things going with Christopher being taken into the corner, where he shouts CLEAN BREAK about fifteen times in a loud voice. Daniels does the same to Tanaka, who shouts the same thing and is granted his request. They hit the mat for a bit before Tanaka dropkicks Daniels’ knee.

Off to Kanemoto vs. Kazarian with Koji taking over, using something like Joe’s Facewash. Taz says Koji invented that move which really wouldn’t surprise me given Joe’s work in Japan. Kaz comes back with a dropkick and is hiptossed onto Koji by Daniels for two. Back to Daniels as Taz makes jokes about photographers. They’re firmly in the “let’s make jokes instead of calling the match” mode tonight.

Bad Influence starts some fast tagging to keep Kanemoto in trouble but he avoids a charge from Daniels to get a breather. A suplex puts Daniels down but there’s no tag to Tanaka. Instead Koji misses a moonsault and a double big boot puts both guys down. A double tag brings in Daniels to face Tanaka with Minoru taking over with shots to the face. Everything breaks down and Tanaka dives off the middle rope to take Daniels down to the floor.

A half butterfly suplex gets two on Christopher and Koji gets two off a 450. Kazarian pulls the referee out to really get the fans’ attention. A powerbomb/neckbreaker combination gets two on Tanaka but he pops up and puts Kaz in an ankle lock. Kanemoto puts Daniels in a cross armbreaker at the same time but Kaz crawls over to save his partner. Why Tanaka lets go of his hold when Tanaka’s is broken isn’t clear. Bad Influence goes High/Low for the pin out of nowhere on Kanemoto.

Rating: C+. The match was fine for an opener as Daniels and Kazarian can wrestle without having to do all their comedy stuff. That fits in better for a more serious show like this, and the match was entertaining as a result. It wasn’t anything spectacular but not every match has to be.

A humble Magnus talks about how important of a show this is for both himself and TNA. He and Joe won the GHC Tag Team Titles here about a year ago so he has history in this building. Tonight he’s defending against Kai and promises that it’s going to be a war.

Bad Influence says they’re the best team in the world. This is much more over the top in true Bad Influence style. Tanaka chases them off.

Gail Kim vs. Madison Rayne

Madison is Knockouts Champion at this point but I believe this is non-title. Rayne gets a quick rollup for two and does the mat humping for two. Tenay and Taz try to talk about some Japanese culture and wrestling history but it’s about as pitiful as you would expect. Gail gets two off a clothesline and hits the running cross body to the ribs in the corner. Madison comes back with a rolling cradle but Gail tries to cheat. The champion isn’t happy and charges into the buckle to stun herself.

Gail puts on the figure four around the post as Taz continues asking about the numbered photographers at ringside. Back up and Madison’s leg is fine as Gail rolls her up for two. A suplex gets the same for Rayne but she gets caught in something like a Death Valley Driver for two. Eat Defeat gets Gail the pin a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. This is the exact same match these two have had about a dozen times and in this case Gail won. I really don’t know what else you want me to say about this one, as their matches have been done so many times and there’s almost nothing more to see them do in the ring.

We hear from some wrestlers who are happy to be in Japan. This looks like deleted scenes from the opening video.

Abyss vs. Yoshihiro Takayama

Takayama is described as the Japanese Abyss. Granted that’s Tenay’s opinion of him so I’d expect the second coming of Petey Williams. It’s a brawl to start of course with the blond haired Takayama being knocked out to the floor early on. Takayama slugs away but gets sent into the barricade for his efforts. Back in and they punch each other some more with Takayama nailing a pair of running knees to the chest. Abyss blocks a German suplex and they head outside again.

Four minutes into the match, Tenay casually mentions that Takayama has won the All Japan Triple Crown Title, the GHC Championship and the IWGP Championship. I don’t follow Japanese wrestling and even I know that’s a bigger deal than something you mention four minutes into a match. Abyss takes him to the ramp and pours out the thumbtacks but Takayama fights out of a chokeslam. He tries another German but gets slammed down onto the tacks. Abyss misses a splash and lands in the tacks as well before they brawl to a no contest.

Rating: C-. Take two big guys and let them fight for about seven minutes. This was a mindless but fun brawl and that’s what you would expect out of guys like these two. The tacks were a nice big spot at the end and the shorter you keep an Abyss match, the better things are going to be.

Gail Kim says she’s the best Knockout in the world and screws up the continuity of being Madison’s friend.

Masakatsu Funaki vs. Bobby Roode

Funaki is a technical guy with a very successful MMA background. Feeling out process for the first minute and a half with Roode shouting about how great he is. Bobby takes him down with a headlock but Funaki grabs a much faster headlock of his own to take control. Back up and they stare each other down before Roode tries a forearm.

A stiff kick to the chest puts him down on the floor where he asks Funaki to bring the fight. Funaki obliges and is whipped hard into the barricade for his efforts. Bobby sends him shoulder first into the post before wrapping it around the ropes. A knee drop gets two on Funaki and it’s off to a cross armbreaker. Funaki fights up and fires off kicks in the corner followed by a hard one to the face.

They chop it out until Roode takes him down with a DDT on the arm. There’s the crossface (more like a crossforehead) but Funaki rolls backwards into a rollup for two. Back up and Funaki tries an ankle lock, only to get pulled back down into the crossface. That goes nowhere so Roode grabs a spinebuster for two. The Roode Bomb is countered into the ankle lock and Bobby taps out.

Rating: B. This was a nice technical match with Roode having good psychology by going after the arm for the entire match before trying the crossface. I would have liked some leg work before the ankle lock but it wasn’t completely out of nowhere. Roode looked good here and the match was fun to watch.

Joe is thrilled to get to face Great Muta tonight. He calls wrestling an international language and says TNA is ready to show what they can do to a new audience.

Keiji Mutoh/Rob Terry/Taiyo Kea vs. Masayuki Kono/Rene Dupree/Samoa Joe

Joe’s team gets the jobber treatment and Mutoh might retire if he loses. Joe and Kea get things going with Joe hammering away in the corner, only to have Kea no sell most of the shots. A big boot has little effect on Joe and an elbow to Kea’s jaw has the same result. Off to Terry vs. Dupree for a posedown before Renee dropkicks Terry’s knee out. Kono comes in to try a double suplex but Terry suplexes both of them at the same time.

Mutoh gets the tag for the power drive elbow before putting Kono in an STF. Back to Kea for chops followed by Terry for some cranking on the arm. Mutoh puts on a sleeper but Dupree gets in a cheap shot. Joe glares at his partner for the cheap shot and does the same thing to Kono, even going so far as to save Mutoh. Apparently he’s fine with backsplashing Mutoh for two and putting on the Koquina Clutch but everything breaks down.

Things settle down and Mutoh mostly misses a dropkick to Joe and the tag brings in Kea. A Russian legsweep gets two on Joe but he comes back with a powerslam. Off to Kono who gets caught in something resmbling a running DDT. Terry gets the tag and gets the crowd to clap a lot before hitting a slow motion Jackhammer. Kea rolls away and tags in Dupree who is quickly backdropped down.

Muta comes in and takes out everyone with dragon screw legwhips before putting Renee in a Figure Four. Kono makes a save so Muta hits Dupree with a Shining Wizard but everything breaks down. Members of the Desperadoes stable comes in to attack Mutoh but Joe won’t help them. He takes a chair from Dupree and headbutts him before walking out, allowing Mutoh to hit the Shining Wizard for the pin on Dupree.

Rating: D+. Well you knew Mutoh wasn’t jobbing here. This match was a big mess though with Joe wanting to do the right thing or whatever it was while all of the people interfered (and Tenay just expected us to know who they were because EVERYONE follows a year old Japanese promotion). This felt like “let’s all love Mutoh” and while he deserves respect, I don’t care for matches that turn into stuff like this. It wasn’t terrible or anything and the story made good sense, but it was messy.

The Wolves talk about how honored they are to perform in this building. They respect Team 246 but don’t think too much of the BroMans.

Tag Team Titles: BroMans vs. Wolves vs. Team 246

One fall to a finish, The Wolves are defending and Team 246 is Kaz Hayashi/Shuji Kondo. These are the TNA Tag Team Titles if that’s not clear. Three people in the ring at once so it’s Robbie, Kaz and Davey getting things going. Kaz and Davey slug it out before they both stare at Robbie, triggering a very Broish scream. Robbie Hulks Up and a single chop from Kaz sends him to the floor. Davey and Kaz get to shout at each other a lot and counter moves until Kaz kicks him down.

Eddie comes in but gets caught by a DDT from Kondo. The BroMans pull everyone to the floor until they head back inside with the Wolves. The champions low bridge the BroMans to the floor before diving onto Team 246. Robbie totally misses a dive so the Wolves hit more stereo dives to take everyone out. Back in and Davey kicks Jesse in the side of the head before an enziguri and missile dropkick put Hayashi down for two.

The BroMans shove the Wolves off the top rope and double team Hayashi. Things settle down with the Wolves staying out of the ring as Kaz gets beaten up even more. Davey finally comes back in but gets gorilla pressed by Jesse and nailed with a middle rope elbow from Robbie. Hayashi shoves the BroMans into each other but Davey kicks Kondo off the apron. Kondo comes in anyway as everything breaks down.

A spinebuster gets two on Edwards and Kondo sends the BroMans together again. Davey comes back with a handspring into a kick to Kondo’s face. Robbie DDTs Kaz down but gets laid out by the Wolves. Kondo powerslams Edwards and some double teaming from 246 gets two. Kaz gets the same off a superkick but Davey makes the save.

Richards kicks both of 246 before slugging it out with Hayashi again. A hugh kick to Kaz’s head sets up a German suplex for two for Davey and the powerbomb/Backstabber combo gets two more. The BroMans send the champions to the floor but Kondo breaks up the Bro Down. Richards kicks Kondo down but gets sent to the floor, setting up the Bro Down to Hayashi for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C+. This was fine though I still don’t see the appeal of Kaz Hayashi. He didn’t do anything for me in WCW and now he’s not doing anything for me when he has longer hair. The Wolves looked decent but I get really tired of the Japanese style of getting hit in the face a lot and just screaming in response.

Sanada training video.

The BroMans celebrate.

X-Division Title: Austin Aries vs. Sanada

Sanada is challenging. They shake hands to start before trading armbars. Now they trade headlocks until Sanada hooks a quickly broken abdominal stretch. Sanada rolls him up for two and it’s another standoff. Austin takes him to the mat and rides him a bit before grabbing a few rollups for two each. Aries flips out of a wristlock before dropkicking Sanada in the head for the first real advantage. Sanada is sent to the floor but blocks a suicide dive with a forearm.

Back in and Sanada hammers away in the corner for two but Aries sends him to the floor to break up a springboard attempt. The champion hits a top rope ax handle to the floor before hitting a running elbow off the ramp for two back inside. After working on the neck for a bit, Aries hooks a leg lock to change course. A knee crusher gets two for Aries before they chop it out with Sanada taking over. Aries comes back with a discus forearm to put Sanada on the floor and now the suicide dive connects.

A missile dropkick sends Sanada across the ring but he stays on his feet. Sanada stops a charge with a boot to the face but Austin grabs a crucifix, only to be flipped up into a TKO in a sweet counter. Aries pops back up with a knee crusher into a belly to back suplex, followed by the corner dropkick.

The brainbuster is countered so Aries hits three more running dropkicks, only to have Sanada counter the brainbuster into a suplex. Sanada wins a slugout but Aries grabs him for the brainbuster and two. There’s the Last Chancery but Sanada crawls over to the rope. Aries misses the 450 and a German/dragon/tiger suplex combo gets two for Sanada. A pair of moonsaults give Sanada the title.

Rating: B-. This was the usual good match between these two and it should have been the longest match of the show. Sanada is at least getting to be in TNA longer than the cup of coffee that a lot of foreign wrestlers get in American companies. He’ll get a big match at Bound For Glory and it’s going to be interesting to see where he goes after that.

A stunned Aries rolls up the promoter before raising Sanada’s hand.

Magnus says Kai is good but not good enough.

Here’s a match from Lockdown 2014.

Bad Influence/Chris Sabin vs. Great Muta/Sanada/Yasu

Daniels and Kazarian come out in Great Muta garb circa 1989. Sanada took the X Title from Austin Aries a week ago in Japan. Sabin and Sanada get things going and fight over hiptosses before Sanada grabs an abdominal stretch. It’s quickly off to Muta to drop some fast elbows on Sabin followed by a crossface hold. Daniels makes the save but we get the Green Mist from Muta.

Back to Yasuyuki who gets taken into the wrong corner with Daniels dropping him with a belly to back suplex, setting up a slingshot legdrop from Kaz for two. Daniels suplexes Kaz onto Yatzu, setting up a springboard moonsault for two from Christopher. Back to Kaz who misses a top rope legdrop, allowing the hot tag off to Sanada.

He cleans house until Bad Influence hits a quick High/Low for two. Daniels takes Sanada down for a second but a hot tag brings in Muta to really clean house with dragon screw leg whips all around. The Mist puts Daniels down and there’s the Shining Wizard, setting up a moonsault from Sanada for the pin on Daniels at 9:22.

Rating: C. Not a bad match and a good choice for an opener, but it’s also a good example of what’s wrong with the all cages gimmick. The cage added absolutely nothing here and there’s no reason for the cage to be there at all. The fans reacted well to the Japanese guys so it certainly wasn’t a terrible idea.

Austin Aries says he makes guys like Sanada raise their game.

TNA World Title: Magnus vs. Kai

Magnus is defending and Kai won a tournament to get this shot. Feeling out process to start as a lot of TNA guys have come out to watch the match. No one goes anywhere when they fight over a top wristlock so Magnus takes him down with a headlock. Back up and Kai nails three straight dropkicks but Magnus stops him with a forearm. They head up the ramp and fight over a suplex on the stage until the champion takes him over.

Back in and Taz keeps complaining about the referee not being up to his standards. We hit another chinlock followed by a camel clutch to Kai. Taz notices that Kai’s tights say Dress Camp and goes on a rant about summer camp. Kai fights up and sends Magnus to the floor, followed by a suicide dive to take over. Magnus fights out of a powerbomb and kicks away, only to get dropped by a clothesline.

They slug it out with Kai nailing a falcon’s arrow for two. Kai goes up but gets superplexed down, though Magnus can’t follow up. Back up and a springboard enziguri drops Magnus and a running boot to the face gets two. A powerbomb gets two more on the champion but he catches Kai in a Michinoku Driver for a near fall of his own. The top rope elbow gets the same and another Michinoku Driver followed by a second elbow retains Magnus’ title.

Rating: C. It was a pretty good main event style match, but the problem I have with this is the problem I have with almost all shows like this: who is Kai and why should I care about him? Yeah I know he won a tournament, but I have no connection to Kai, have never seen one of his matches or heard him talk. All I know about him I learned in the last fifteen minutes of hearing Tenay and Taz and watching this one match. Wrestling is about connecting with performers, be it through promos or through their matches. With nothing to go off, there’s no reason for me to care about Kai.

A two minute highlight package closes us out.

Overall Rating: C+. This was very different than the rest of the One Night Only shows as there was a completely unique feeling to the show. Now that being said, as I mentioned, I don’t care for most of these shows as I don’t care for Japanese wrestling all that much. The show wasn’t bad but it’s nothing I got excited about watching. I saw some good action but I have no connection to most of them. I don’t care to watch any more Wrestle-1, even though some of it was good stuff. Bound For Glory is going to be a HUGE gamble, but they could make it work under the right circumstances.

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Back to the girls with ODB.

ODB got her start around 2003 but we’ll be picking her up in OVW in a three way match on October 15, 2006.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. ODB vs. Katie Lea

Beth is defending. I always forget how good looking Katie is. There’s barely any contact made for the first minute until Beth gets double teamed down. A double hiptoss puts Beth down again but as is always the case in a threeway, ODB goes after Katie like a dolt. Beth is right back up and we get into the three way brawl again.

Katie gets two with a small package on ODB and a rollup gets the same. Now Beth steals a pin of her own but ODB is all ticked off. The fall away slam from ODB gives Beth a two count, so ODB rams her ten times into her crotch in the corner (it’s the turnbuckle but the crotch is funnier or something). We take a break and come back with ODB holding Katie in a bearhug and Beth down in the corner. A swinging neckbreaker on Beth gives ODB another two count but Katie makes the save.

That doesn’t please ODB so she puts Katie in the Tree of Woe before sending Beth face first into Katie with a drop toehold. We get the triple sleeper spot which goes nowhere as always. Beth rips a turnbuckle pad off but gets slammed down by both challengers. She can’t get a chair in but Katie can get a side slam on ODB for two. ODB goes up and the other girls fight over who gets to slam her down.

They finally settle on a Tower of Doom with Beth powerbombing Katie who superplexes ODB. Beth gets two on Katie but Lea sends Beth out to the floor. The champion picks up the title and knocks Katie silly but ODB makes a last second save. Beth lifts ODB up in a fireman’s carry but Serena runs in to spear Phoenix down for a DQ. In a triple threat?

Rating: B-. Good stuff here until the odd ending. I’m guessing they were hoping to keep the challengers strong, but there comes a point in a fifteen minute match where they’re not going to lose anything by not picking up the title. This was a solid match and yet more proof that there are good looking women who can have good matches.

Another OVW match, from some point in the first five months of 2007.

ODB vs. Melody

Melody would become as much of a blonde bombshell as you can get, though she has purple hair here. ODB comes out with a glittery cooler and her Miss OVW sash. Women’s Champion Katie Lea sits in on commentary to brag about manipulating Melody and hating ODB. ODB runs over Melody to start but misses a charge in the corner. A bad looking elbow to the back of the head gets two for Melody and she puts on a choke.

ODB fights back and runs Melody over as Katie brags about being the toughest English wrestler in the world. A fall away slam puts Melody down and ODB sits on the top rope for ten rams into the buckle (which was supposed to look like her crotch because that’s funny). ODB’s middle rope Thesz Press gets the pin.

Rating: D. This was just storyline stuff for the ODB showdown with Katie Lea where ODB would take the title. Melody was there for how she looked in shorts instead of anything resembling skill, making her perfect for a women’s wrestler at this point. Nothing to the match but it did what it was supposed to do.

ODB would head to TNA in late 2007 with one of her first singles matches coming on January 17, 2008’s Impact.

ODB vs. Angelina Love

The idea here should be obvious. ODB jumps Love as she comes in and hammers away, much to the crowd’s delight. A kick to the face looks to set up a Thesz Press off the middle rope but Angelina notices the flying ODB and steps to the side. Angelina gets two off a jawbreaker and the Botox Injection (not yet named) gets two. ODB comes back with a powerslam for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D+. ODB’s charisma helped here and thankfully this was still a fresh match at the time. Angelina was still figuring out her character at this point but she had the tight tops and pants down already. ODB would get a nice push in the coming months and was already #1 contender at this point.

Here’s her title shot, at Against All Odds 2008.

Knockouts Title: ODB vs. Awesome Kong

They pull each others’ hair and ODB tries a slam which fails completely. ODB hits the floor and Raisha Saed, Kong’s mouthpiece, gets in her face. Back in and ODB is sent into the corner and a splash crushes her. Out to the floor again with Kong in control but her knee is hurting. ODB grabs her chest which is enough to wake her up somehow.

This is dull as all goodness if you didn’t get that. Kong tries the powerbomb but ODB fights her off and sits on the top rope. Kong hits the spinning backfist to the head and we’re back on the mat again. Thesz Press is caught so ODB, who isn’t a small girl by any means, tries a dropkick. The Thesz Press from the middle rope gets her down though but she still can’t slam Kong. Implant Buster gets two.

ODB nips up to avoid a middle rope splash and slams Kong for two. Gee maybe if it was bigger than a slam it would have worked. She gets a shot from her flask to wake her up. ODB can’t put Kong down still though. She hits Saed though and there’s the spinning backfist and the Awesome Bomb from Kong to retain.

Rating: D-. This was sloppy, dull, not interesting and just weak overall. They tried but the similarity of styles hurt it too much. You need power vs. speed rather than power vs. power. It took the Beautiful People to stop Kong and they were a breath of air into the division. This was pretty weak though.

With ODB being the uncouth one, she would be put in a feud with the Beautiful People. This set up a Bimbo Brawl, meaning a street fight, at Bound For Glory 2008.

ODB/Rhaka Khan/Rhyno vs. Beautiful People/Cute Kip

Traci Brooks is referee here and comes out to a cover of Rag Doll by Aerosmith. Just Skye and Love at this point. This is a Bimbo Brawl apparently. You know because 6 person tag is just too hard to say I guess. Kip gets in the face of a Detroit Tiger who is in Chicago just because I guess. ODB and Velvet start us off.

West tries to convince us that Rhyno and Kip are very similar physically. And people wonder why he was replaced. Genders can intertwine here apparently. Basically the Beautiful People keep trying to get various shots in, none of which work. Everyone keeps hiding from Khan other than Kip. Both of them go for chokeslams. She grabs his balls as this is going absolutely nowhere.

Khan is really bad in the ring to put it mildly. Why does ODB think she’s hot? Makeup box to ODB’s head sends her to the floor. ODB spanks herself to get fired up for…a tag. Thankfully the guys come in as the girls just aren’t that good at this point. Fameasser is blocked as Rhyno just stands up and Gores Kip to end it.

Rating: F+. And that’s only for Velvet. This was just boring as all goodness with six minutes of the girls doing nothing, leaving Rhyno as the best person in there. Let that sink in for a bit. Just a bad match that never did anything at all of note. At least it was short I guess.

Around this time, ODB would get a boyfriend in the form of Cody Deaner, who won a contest to spend a night with her. This led to exactly what you would expect, which we’ll get back to later. While not champion yet, ODB was one of the most over Knockouts on the roster and would be entered in the Queen of the Cage match at Lockdown 2009.

Madison Rayne vs. Sojourner Bolt vs. ODB vs. Daffney

This is Queen of the Cage which I think is just a fatal fourway for the name Queen of the Cage. Rayne is fairly new here. Apparently the winner gets a title shot. Deaner is with ODB. Daffney was the Governor recently as TNA decided to have a Sarah Palin character. ODB gets some Liquid Courage to make things all good. There’s an album pitch in there somewhere.

I’m pretty sure this is just the first fall wins it. Yeah that’s what it is according to West. Everyone beats down ODB and then the other three have a little thing. Deaner slips the flask through the cage to her which fires her way up. Daffney hits a Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza on Bolt. More drinking from ODB which is spat into Bolt’s face and a powerslam ends it.

Rating: D. Yeah I hated this. It was like six minutes long and was based around the joke of her more or less being an alcoholic. This was a waste of time and the ending was about as clear as a glass of water. Deaner and the whole white trash angle made Noble and Nidia look good. Not a fan of these matches at all.

Her title shot came at Hard Justice 2009.

Knockout Title: Velvet Sky/Angelina Love vs. Cody Deaner/ODB

Ok so Angelina is champion here and it’s a tag match with a guy fighting for the women’s title. Just go with it. Madison is with the blondes here. Angelina and ODB start us off here This is a rather basic match here and Angelina looks far better with fewer tattoos on her arm. Velvet comes in and do you really think it matters what goes on in this? Deaner comes in and spanks Velvet a bit.

Angelina comes in and gets a quick two on ODB. The heels take over as you would expect them to here. Velvet is rather red from the spanking. I didn’t need the image of Deaner doing that. Seated dropkick gets two for Angelina. Deaner comes back in and kisses both blondes. Make that all three of them as Madison takes some tongue apparently. The girls finally get it together and beat up Cody, only for him to avoid some hairspray from Madison and roll up Velvet for the pin and the title for ODB. Deaner would claim he was the real champion, because that’s how TNA rolls.

Rating: D. Yeah this was a mess. Velvet is hot as is Angelina, but ODB and Deaner were the focus here and I don’t see the need to have Deaner involved here at all. I think this led to Madison being tossed out of the team but that could have been done in a singles match also. Weak match and a stupid angle.

The title would be stripped soon, setting up ODB vs. Deaner at No Surrender 2009.

Knockout Title: Cody Deaner vs. ODB

Oh and these two used to date. That needs to be thrown in for no apparent reason. Naturally it’s a comedy match with ODB dominating. Low blow doesn’t work on ODB of course because she doesn’t have balls. Out to the floor and she dives on Deaner to take him down. Deaner isn’t allowed to punch her apparently which wasn’t announced but the referee says so and that’s law I guess.

Deaner slams her as this turns into ever other man vs. woman match with the guy doing very basic stuff to her and it’s supposed to be all devastating and no one cares. Deaner gets a shot from the flask so ODB grabs him by the balls as he comes off the middle rope. Thesz Press gets two for ODB and I remember watching this match, thinking if not begging that they wouldn’t let Deaner have the belt. Deaner and the referee argue into a rollup for two by ODB. There’s a comedy spot on a sunset flip and we’re finally done after a TKO to give ODB the title.

Rating: C-. Not a terrible match but the joke sucked and I don’t know how many people cared about ODB at the end of the day. At least she has the title and breasts which is the point of the title. Anyway pretty weak match here but it was at least somewhat competitive which is all you can ask for at times.

ODB would be champion heading into Bound For Glory 2009 with Deaner gone thank goodness.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. ODB vs. Awesome Kong

ODB has beaten both of them already so we’ll just do it one more time I guess. Should be noted that this is the 5th match on the card, the fifth title match and the fifth match that isn’t a standard one on one or tag match. Think they’re overdoing anything here? Tara’s legs are awesome if nothing else. I never got the appeal of the ODB character at all.

Kong jumps both girls immediately but Tara goes right for her. And so much for that theory as Kong just crushes them. Middle rope splash misses both of them though and we get the rather sexy shirt rip off from Tara. She’d wear these tiny shorts and a Tapout shirt which she’d rip off to more or less reveal a half shirt. The faces fight over who gets the pin as it’s pure formula stuff here but FAR better than the Legends Title match.

Tara hooks the Tarantula but Kong makes the save, which isn’t really a save as you can’t get a submission there but you get the point. Tara gets into it with some fan that might be legit but I’m not sure. Upon further review it was Randy Couture’s wife who had wanted to do an MMA fight with Tara. All planned but TNA messed up the shot and didn’t see it. Why does this not surprise me?

Back in the ring Kong hits the middle rope splash on ODB, covering the entire front row in silicone. It gets two though as Tara makes the save. Implant Buster gets two as ODB kicks out on her own. Saed comes out and throws in a chair but Kong says no. She goes for a powerbomb on ODB and Saed slides the chair in again but ODB reverses into a face plant to the chair for the pin. Nice ending.

Rating: C-. Not a great match or anything but FAR better than the other one. There was a story and flow here rather than in the Legends match where nothing had any purpose it seemed. Everything worked here and while it’s not great it’s certainly watchable. Not bad here and definitely ok.

ODB would lose the title to Tara at Final Resolution. With everything changing in TNA, ODB would get a rematch for the title on the January 4, 2010 Impact.

Knockouts Title: ODB vs. Tara

It’s a brawl to start as ODB takes a shot from the flask. Tara stops her in the corner with an elbow before dropping ODB with a running clothesline. Some kicks to the ribs have ODB in trouble and a slam sets up the standing moonsault for two. Tara hooks a Tarantula followed by a slingshot flip legdrop and MAKE SURE TO FOLLOW DIXIE ON TWITTER! ODB counters the Black Widow into a rollup with tights (complete with going to a crowd shot when she pulled too far) for the pin and the title.

Here’s the rematch from Genesis 2010.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. ODB

This is 2/3 falls which makes sense as they’ve had a match or two before and you can’t have the same match again as we had a few weeks ago and then ask people to pay for it. THAT WOULD MAKE NO SENSE! That Broken song is AWESOME. There’s not a ton going on in the first few minutes here as it’s just them going back and forth.

This is the problem with 2/3 falls matches: you don’t have to really pay attention until the second fall, which is starting right now as Tara hooks a small package for the first fall. Tara hooks the tarantula. Not a lot is going on here at all. We get a great shot of Tara’s hips to make this match much better. Brooke shot number 6. This time she’s with Joey Fatone.

If TNA insists on the celebrity thing, get celebrities that have mattered this millennium. ODB uses the freaking Tumbleweed. Are we in the mid 70s all of a sudden? She pulls something out of her cleavage to be odd before hitting a powerslam for two. This is kind of meandering along and needs to end soon. ODB keeps touching herself and checking her pulse. It’s freaking stupid looking. And the Widow’s Peak ends it. The timing was pretty good if nothing else. What is up with the freaking spider???

Rating: C-. Not great here as the 2/3 falls thing felt way too much like a gimmick for the sake of having a gimmick which I can If never advocate. Tara winning the title is fine, but she didn’t need to get two straight wins to do it. That was overkill which is never a good thing.

ODB would leave TNA for awhile before returning in 2011 as part of an alliance with Jacqueline because what would wrestling be without Jacqueline? Here’s one match from the pairing so we can move on to ANYTHING else. From July 7, 2011 on Impact.

Velvet Sky vs. ODB/Jackie

If Velvet wins, the two annoying girls leave TNA, despite technically not being in it right now. Velvet comes in through the crowd with a chair and takes out Jackie with a shot to the back. She and ODB start us off and Velvet is dominating. Jackie gets back in and the numbers start catching up with Velvet. We finally get down to regular tagging and never mind that as we’re back to the two on one at once. ODB tries to bring the chair back in but hits Jackie by mistake. A DDT by Velvet pins Jackie at 5:00.

Rating: D. The only good thing here was that ODB and Jackie are allegedly out of TNA now. The match wasn’t anything more than an ending to this story (I hope) and other than that it was just bad. Velvet isn’t that great in the ring and on her own she’s not capable of much physically other than looking good. Bad match.

Next up was a love story with Eric Young, leading to the two of them getting a Knockouts Tag Team Title shot because that’s how comedy in TNA works.

Knockout Tag Titles: ODB/Eric Young vs. Rosita/Sarita

The wedding is April 12. Oh great. Eric and Rosita start us off but Eric tags out to ODB with no contact. She takes Rosita down and misses the Bronco Buster. Sarita comes in and doesn’t do much so it’s back to Rosita. She takes a kick in the chest and a “spear” to set up the tag to Young. He does some cartwheels and takes off his pants. The girls hit on Eric and ODB gets mad about it. ODB cleans house and hits the Bam on Rosita before asking where Eric’s ring is. He can’t produce it so she kisses him and puts Eric on top of Rosita for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: F. I hate it I hate it I hate it. I HATE this angle and we’re going to have to put up with it for the next freaking month because we need COMEDY on this show because there’s so much going on we can’t even get the TV Champion on the show already, but we need time to have Eric strip every week.

Despite being a champion, ODB would barely wrestle. She would still be half of the Tag Champions when she had this match on October 18, 2012’s Impact.

Tara vs. ODB

Non-title and ODB yells at Eric on the phone for not being here. She’s still on the phone during her entrance. ODB grabs Tara and pounds away to start. Apparently Tessmacher gets a rematch next week. ODB puts her ring in her picket which can’t be a good thing. She slams Tara down and talks to Eric on the phone some more. Jesse gets his face shoved in ODB’s chest and it’s back to the phone. Tara keeps pulling ODB’s hair and let’s stop for more kissing. ODB takes a shot from the flak, spits it at Jesse, and hits the Bam for the pin at 3:14.

Rating: D. I hated this. I hate reality TV, I hate alcohol, I thought the phone thing was stupid, and I hate the booking of having the new champion lose four days after the title change. Oh and I hate women’s wrestling in general. Nothing to see here and I don’t care about anything that just happened.

Thankfully the titles would be stripped and retired in June 2013. ODB would only wrestle a handful of times in 2013, including this match at Hardcore Justice 2013.

Mickie James vs. ODB vs. Gail Kim

This is a hardcore match and not for Mickie’s title. ODB runs them over to start and hits her chest grabbing splashes on both girls in the corner. Mickie pulls her out of the corner but Gail isn’t interested in an alliance. Gail pounds on ODB as Mickie wedges a chair into the corner. ODB is whipped into said chair and the other girls get a stereo two count. Mickie rolls up Gail for two and they slug it out with until Gail is sent to the floor. Kim sends ODB back inside and goes to look for a weapon but gets a knee from Mickie instead.

James finds a kendo stick from somewhere and cracks ODB over the back before choking Gail with it. ODB comes back in and pounds on them with the stick before pulling one of her two bras out of the top to choke both girls with it. Mickie gets in a shot and puts on the figure four around the post as Gail chokes away but they can’t get along again. ODB gets a shot from the flask and sprays Mickie in the face but Gail breaks up the Bam. Another stick shot misses and ODB hits the Bam on Gail on the chair for the pin at 6:48.

Rating: D+. Did you know ODB was uncouth and does stuff that isn’t proper or whatever you call it? Don’t worry if you don’t because TNA will beat it over your head until you get the idea. The match was nothing special and felt more like a WWE style street fight with the really basic weapons and little more.

That and a few other wins were enough to get ODB a Knockouts Title shot on September 19, 2013’s Impact.

Knockouts Title: ODB vs. Mickie James

Mickie is defending. ODB easily turns back a sneak attack and pounds away on Mickie but gets dropkicked down for two. Mickie charges into an elbow in the corner but she pulls ODB down off the middle rope to take over. A spear puts Mickie down for two more and there’s the fall away slam to send Mickie to the floor. She wants a timeout but trips ODB up, catching her inside the ring skirt as we take a break.

Back with Mickie getting two off a neckbreaker and catching a charging ODB with a boot to the jaw. A hurricanrana out of the corner is countered into an ODB powerbomb to put both girls down. They slug it out with ODB taking over and putting Mickie down with a clothesline. Back up and a suplex is good for two on the champion but she catches ODB with a spinning kick to the face to take over again. Mickie loads up a tornado DDT out of the corner, only to have ODB counter it into the Bam for the pin and the title at 10:55.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but how many times can we have the same pairings over and over again in this division? Mickie is apparently leaving after this match, so who in the world is ODB supposed to fight now? Velvet? Brooke? Are either of them even active wrestlers at this point?

We’ll wrap this up at Final Resolution 2013 as ODB has lost the title but is out for revenge on Gail Kim’s monster Lei’D Tapa.

Gail Kim/Lei’D Tapa vs. ODB/Madison Rayne

Tapa throws Madison down to start so it’s off to ODB for the power showdown. ODB gets slammed with ease and it’s off to Gail as the announcers talk about a kickboxing show. The champion lays in some kicks before it’s back to Tapa for some choking. Tapa misses a charge in the corner and it’s off to Madison for some house cleaning. ODB is sent to the floor but Madison counters Eat Defeat into a backslide for the pin at 5:50.

Rating: D+. This was what it was. Madison is a good hand to have back and the new looks works very well for her, but bringing in one new girl isn’t going to help the division’s long term problems. Tapa continues to bore me to death every time I see her. She’s big and different looking and that’s the end of her appeal.

ODB is the epitome of a one note character that appeals to the lowest common denomenator. She can have some decent matches though and is full of charisma, which is more than I can say about most of the division. At the end of the day though, she suffers from the same problem all of the Knockouts have: we’ve seen all of these matches a dozen times, making it hard to get involved in the feuds again.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: June 12, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Slammiversary and the big story is of course a war between Dixie Carter and MVP because where would we be without the focus being on Dixie? The problem with Impact’s taping schedule rears its head again tonight and this weekend though as MVP is injured and may not be able to go on Sunday, so everything tonight may mean nothing at all. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video narrated by MVP, talking about how he’s risen to power.

Here’s Eric Young in gear to open the show. Young says this Sunday is the biggest match of his career but he wants to say something to the trio in person. MVP comes out and explains that he and Dixie don’t see things the same so Eric has MVP’s undivided attention. Eric is ready for Sunday but MVP says he’s still half man and half amazing, so after he takes the title on Sunday, Eric can go back to fishing.

After the plug for Young’s fishing show, Eric asks that Sunday be a fair fight. MVP likes the idea but he can’t guarantee that Lashley and King can control themselves. Young says he has no problem with losing a fair fight, but getting beaten down three on one isn’t wrestling. He’s willing to do anything to make sure it’s even on Sunday and MVP likes the sound of that.

Young can pick the stipulation on Sunday, if Eric can beat all three of them in one night. King says Eric couldn’t beat two of them but Eric is ready to try. MVP is willing to give Eric a break and says Eric can pick the stipulations if he wins 2/3. The deal is made and it’s Lashley up first.

Eric Young vs. Bobby Lashley

Eric hammers away to start but gets drilled with forearms in the corner. A backdrop puts Bobby down but Eric comes back with a running forearm that appeared to mostly miss. Young avoids a charge in the corner but does a Flair Flip into the sliding sunset flip. Lashley will have none of that though and launches Eric to the floor.

Eric is sent into the steps and comes up holding his back. Lashley is no idiot and puts on a torture rack followed by an over the shoulder backbreaker. Young punches his way out and nails a nice dropkick before stopping a charging Bobby with two boots in the corner. He jumps off the corner into the Dominator powerslam though and Lashley gets the pin at 5:11.

Rating: D+. Basic match here and I already don’t like the booking here. Young went from fresh to pinned clean in less than six minutes three days before a PPV title defense. You have Young beat King before this match and then have him lose to Lashley to protect him and get the same result. Why is that so hard?

Lashley goes after Young again but Samoa Joe makes the save.

Willow says he’s bruised but not broken. He’ll turn the tide tonight because patience is on vacation.

Eric Young can’t stand up but says he has to go back out there.

Samoa Joe says this is the latest sign of a problem with MVP.

Here are Bram and Magnus in street clothes with something to say. Bram talks about how Magnus was treated so badly and turned into someone Bram didn’t know. Magnus says he and Bram are unstoppable and they’ve made Jeff Hardy so scared that he’s gotten a new identity. Willow comes out and says he’s from Jeff Hardy’s Imagin-I-Nation and says he goes where Jeff can’t.

Willow vs. Magnus is set for Sunday and Willow says they’ll (as in himself and someone else) will celebrate. Bram: “You and Jeff Hardy? YOU’RE THE SAME BLOODY PERSON!” Willow admits that he’s Hardy and says someone will be in his corner on Sunday. Bram asks who and it’s Abyss, who comes out to clean house.

Ethan Carter III says his aunt isn’t here tonight but he’ll take care of the family business. They’re the Carters after all.

Robbie E. vs. Knux

The comedy story continues as Robbie is terrified of clowns, including Crazy Steve at ringside. Robbie hits on Rebel but The Freak easily chases him off. Robbie’s right hands are stopped by a Steve distraction, allowing Knux to hit a nice running cross body. E. comes back with a nice middle rope clothesline but DJZ and Steve get in a horn off. Knux splashes Robbie in the corner as the Freak takes care of the other Bro Mans. Back in and a nice Sky High pins Robbie at 3:09.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here but that Sky High was really nice, as was Rebel. At the end of the day, the division needs challengers for the Wolves but one of the few teams is being wasted in this comedy feud. To be fair though, the Bro Mans are comedy characters so what else do you expect?

Post match Steve attaches balloons to Robbie’s back to freak him out.

EC3 and Spud are talking in the back when Brooke returns. She doesn’t say anything but she returns.

Ethan and Spud are in the ring with three chairs set up. Ethan brings out Brooke as he plans on exposing the past sins of Bully Ray. He asks Brooke if she was in a relationship with Ray and asks why it’s over. Carter accuses Ray of being an alcoholic and trying to put Brooke through a table but Brooke denies it. Spud says he can’t deal with this anymore because he has the results. Apparently Ray IS the father, even though Brooke hasn’t had a baby. Spud produces pictures of Ray next to an angry looking kid but Ethan is annoyed. He threatens Brooke until Ray comes out and runs them off.

Before he deals with Carter and Spud, Ray wants to apologize to Brooke. He treated her horribly despite her being an amazing girlfriend. Now Ray is in a better place in his life and wants to wish Brooke the best. They hug and Ethan sounds like he’s gagging. Ethan and Ray argue for a bit until Ethan challenges Ray to a tables match on Sunday, because Ray is putting Dixie through a table over Ethan’s dead body. Ray loves the idea of a dead body and starts a chant about it, but he’ll decline the tables match. Instead, since we’ll be in Carter Country in Dallas, let’s make it a Texas death match. Ethan says it’s on.

MVP tells Kenny King to keep focused out there tonight.

Kenny King vs. Eric Young

Second match in Young’s 2/3 challenge tonight. Young gets armdragged down to start and his back is already bothering him. They head to the floor with the champion in even more trouble. Back in and Young shoves him off the top, only to get slammed down for his troubles. Young avoids a springboard Swanton Bomb and nails the piledriver out of nowhere for the pin at 5:12.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and the outcome was already completely clear. I still don’t get why this wasn’t in another order, but it’s TNA so this isn’t the biggest problem that they have to deal with. It also doesn’t help that the fans are already sick of seeing the same people over and over again and now they get to see the same guy three times in one night.

Eric says he’ll keep fighting.

Brittany vs. Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim

Winner gets Angelina on Sunday. Brittany and Madison double team Gail to start but Madison won’t high five her. Gail dropkicks both of them to the floor and does it again through the ropes. Cue the Beautiful People as we take a break. Back with the Beautiful People on commentary and Madison hitting a headsicssors on Gail, followed by a slow motion victory roll for two. Gail puts a leg choke on Brittany but gets caught in a cross armbreaker by Madison.

That makes Gail let go of her hold but she rolls Madison up for two. Kim goes up top but gets caught in a double superplex (with her thankfully kicking off the post to make it easier for them) to put all three down. Madison nails Brittany but gets sent to the floor as a result. Gail puts Brittany in the figure four around the post as the Beautiful People come out to ringside. Kim runs Brittany over as Angelina distracts the referee. Velvet sprays Brittany in the eyes by mistake, allowing Gail to hit Eat Defeat for the pin at 10:09.

Rating: D+. This gives us I believe the 284th title match between Angelina and Gail. That’s the problem with the entire Knockouts division as a whole: it’s the same core group of about five girls having the same feuds and the same matches over and over and over with only occasionally someone jumping into the division, getting a title run, then leaving it back to the core group. Just please find a new direction for the next 8 years so I don’t have to watch the Beautiful People vs. Gail/Madison again.

MVP is talking to Brian Hebner and says it’s going to be a fair main event.

We run down the PPV card. The only added match is King vs. Aries.

MVP vs. Eric Young

If Young wins he gets to pick the stipulation. Lashley and King jump Young in the aisle before the bell and we take a break about five seconds after the match starts. Back with MVP staying on Young’ sback and putting him in a camel clutch before just letting it go so he can get two off an uppercut. A wicked powerbomb gets two and a buckle bomb sets up the running boot to the face in the corner for a close two on the champion. MVP grabs a chair to sit in and talk some trash but Young is starting to get up. Instead MVP picks up the chair to blast Eric in the back for the DQ at 10:14.

Rating: C. The match made sense and at least they didn’t give it a clean finish. MVP being the cocky heel makes sense and going after the back as much as he did makes even more sense, but I’ve over this feud already. MVP almost has to win the title on Sunday, if nothing else to end this over done Eric Young title reign.

MVP says pick whatever stipulation you want and poses with the belt. The trio leaves and Young makes it a cage match to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was significantly better than most of their previous shows but it still had its issues. First and foremost, WAY too much Eric Young, which is another incarnation of the same issue they’ve been having time after time now: too much of the same idea, meaning that if you don’t like that one idea, there’s no need for you to watch the show. The stuff they had wasn’t terible and it set up the payoff at the end well enough, but I don’t really want to see Young for a fourth time in three days.

Other than that, the show wasn’t that bad and they did a good job of setting up the show on Sunday. That’s TNA in a nutshell: the payoff is usually decent, but man alive is it hard to get through the buildup. The wrestling was pretty standard tonight, but a lot of angles were advanced and you can see the logical matches coming on Sunday.

However, a five match card with a comedy match, a Knockouts three way and then three Eric Young matches (including the World Title match three days before the pay per view) doesn’t do it for me, especially when there were so many people (Aries, Anderson and Storm to be exact) that didn’t get any time tonight. Also the X-Division is having a multi man ladder match on Sunday and wasn’t mentioned at all here. That’s TNA for you: they do some ok stuff, but it’s at a bad expense of other stuff.

Results
Bobby Lashley b. Eric Young – Dominator
Knux b. Robbie E. – Sky High
Eric Young b. Kenny King – Piledriver
Gail Kim b. Brittany and Madison Rayne – Eat Defeat to Brittany
Eric Young b. MVP via DQ when MVP used a chair

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We’ll go with someone a bit better looking than Big Show today: Tara, or Victoria if you’re not a TNA fan.

Victoria would begin training in 2000 and make her in ring debut (she had been an on screen character as one of Godfather’s Ho’s for awhile) in the WWE in August 2002 with her first feud against Trish Stratus. Believe it or not there was a story here with Victoria saying Trish ripped her off when they were both fitness models. This led to a hardcore match for Trish’s title at Survivor Series 2002.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

Hardcore rules here and Trish is defending. This is their second PPV match after Trish won last month. Victoria immediately chokes her with Trish’s coat before getting a broom out of one of the trashcans on each post. Trish jumps the broom (lucky guy) but Victoria takes her down almost immediately. Victoria chokes her with the broom in the corner but gets flipped to the mat.

Now Trish finds a trashcan lid but Victoria knocks the lid into her head with the broom. We head to the floor and Trish gets whipped HARD into the trashcan. Back in and Victoria hits her slingshot legdrop for two. The challenger puts a trashcan in between the top and middle rope but Trish grabs her legs and slingshots Victoria’s head into the can. Trish sets up an ironing board in the corner and whips Victoria into it for two.

It’s kendo stick time with Victoria taking a beating. She gets a boot up in the corner though and BLASTS Trish with a trashcan lid. Victoria has a bloody nose and sits on the middle rope, allowing Trish to try a rana out of the corner. Victoria counters into a kind of Boston Crab position, but Trish does a big situp and hits Victoria in the head with a can lid.

That only stuns her though so Trish BLASTS her in the head with a trashcan lid again to knock Vicotira off the ropes and out to the floor. Victoria gets a mirror from under the ring but Trish superkicks her down. Chick Kick (Punk’s high kick) gets two for Trish as does a bulldog. Victoria rolls to the floor and pulls out a fire extinguisher to blast Trish with. That and a suplex gets the pin and the title for the nutjob.

Rating: B. This was AWESOME with both chicks beating the tar out of each other. The story of the match worked really well too with Trish trying to wrestle her way out of trouble against a monster that wanted to hurt her no matter what. This worked really well and is one of the most intense Divas matches you’ll ever see.

Victoria would become more and more psycho before hooking up with Steven Richards in a bizarre relationship that lasted for several months. She would hold the title until Wrestlemania XIX when she would defend it in a threeway against Jazz and Trish.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz vs. Victoria

Victoria is defending and is still psycho here. She’s also Tara for you TNA fans. Jazz hits a quick dropkick for two on Trish before Victoria can even get to the ring. Off to what we would call a Last Chancery to the Canadian after the champion is knocked to the floor. Everyone winds up outside with the champion taking over. She sends Trish back inside for a slingshot legdrop, getting two. Jazz and Victoria square off now before turning their attentions back to Stratus for some double teaming.

That goes nowhere though as it’s time for the villains to fight again with Jazz getting two off a powerslam. Trish comes back with a rollup on Victoria for two but she clotheslines Trish down for two as a result. Jerry: “Trish is like a quarter among pennies in there.” JR: “…..what?” Jazz hits a sitout powerslam for two on Stratus before arguing with Victoria even more. A spin kick by Jazz hits Victoria by mistake and allows Trish to roll her up for two. The Chick Kick puts Jazz down and the Stratusphere does the same to Victoria.

The champion is knocked to the floor as Jazz puts Trish in a half crab which is transitioned into an STF. Victoria’s boyfriend/manager Steven Richards comes in to send Jazz to the floor, allowing the other two to trade rollups for two each. Jazz comes back in and lifts Trish up for a double chickenwing before dropping her down on her uh…face. Yeah face. Victoria kicks Jazz down but misses a moonsault, knocking herself to the floor. Richards comes in and hits himself with a chair. As he goes to the floor, Trish hits the Chick Kick on Victoria for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. Not bad again here and one of the better women’s matches I’ve seen in a long time. There wasn’t much of a story being told here but at the same time, they looked like they knew what they were doing and never looked lost, which puts them miles ahead of anything in the last three years of Divas matches.

As is almost always the case with the Divas, there weren’t a ton of stories around this time. There would however be one match of note on November 24, 2003: the first Divas cage match with Victoria vs. Lita in Lita’s first match back after breaking her neck.

Lita vs. Victoria

There’s no backstory to this one as the gimmick is selected through Raw Roulette. Lita jumps Victoria as she gets in the cage and rams her into the steel. Victoria’s pants start riding down a bit and Jerry freaks out at the sight of a thong. Lita is sent face first into the steel as well and the spinning sidewalk slam gets two. Victoria can’t make it through the door and some right hands from Lita have her in trouble.

The redhead can’t make it out of the cage as Victoria makes the save, pulling her down from the top for two. A spear sends Lita’s back into the cage but she comes back with a powerbomb out of the corner. Lita goes up and moonsaults a standing Victoria but the EVIL Matt Hardy comes in and slams the door on Lita’s head, allowing Victoria to crawl out for the win.

Rating: D+. The match was way too short to go anywhere but DANG the girls looked good out there. I know Lita is often remembered for looking great but crazy Victoria was no slouch whatsoever. Evil Matt was a decent idea but it didn’t have the time to really go anywhere. Again, more of a novelty than anything else.

Speaking of novelties, Victoria would eventually turn face and win the title, leading to a hair vs. title match at Wrestlemania XX. I don’t think I need to explain it any further than that.

Women’s Title: Molly Holly vs. Victoria

Victoria is defending and Molly has her hair on the line. The champion has the awesome All The Things She Said as her theme song as is looking sweet in white here. They lock up to start and Molly pounds her down before whipping Victoria into the corner. Victoria nips up off the mat and sends Molly to the floor but loses control soon thereafter. Back in again as the match is already going slowly.

A low dropkick gets two on Victoria and it’s off to a reverse cravate by Molly. A quick rollup gets two for Victoria as JR says he doesn’t wear underwear. Victoria powerslams her down for two but Molly heads up a few seconds later. An attempted superplex is countered into a slow motion sunset bomb for two for Molly. A backslide out of nowhere retains the title for Victoria, meaning it’s time to see a bald Holly.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here other than both girls looking incredibly cute. As is usually the case, there’s no explanation given for why this match is happening, nore does anyone seem interested in telling us. Molly would get a wig soon after this which admittedly was pretty amusing. Nothing to the match which didn’t even last five minutes.

Molly tries to put Victoria into the barber’s chair post match but can’t get the clippers to work. The champion fights back and lays Molly out for the haircut.

Since this is WWE and Victoria is a good looking woman, a special outfit match had to be coming eventually. This is from Taboo Tuesday 2004.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz vs. Nidia vs. Gail Kim vs. Molly Holly vs. Victoria vs. Stacy Keibler

This is the schoolgirl battle royal and yes Trish is defending the title in a battle royal. She’s ticked and a heel here. Jazz isn’t someone I want to see dressed like this. Why can’t Lillian be in this? I’ve never been sure if Nidia is hot or not. Gail looks good too. She never meant a thing after her debut though. Molly is growing her hair back after having it shaved at I think Mania. Victoria (Tara) looks great like this. Stacy is perfect for it with the legs.

It’s not over the top either. The crowd is more into this than the first match. Nidia’s top falls off and she gets knocked out. Jazz is hanging on to the bottom rope and Victoria accidentally hits her with a baseball slide to put her out. Gail is out. There isn’t much to say here at all. Stacy gets the biggest pop of the night for doing a Nash leg choke on Victoria.

This is mainly just a way for Lawler to freak over underwear shots. Molly and Trish get rid of Victoria, leaving the two of them and Stacy. This is boring as all goodness. Stacy is supposed to be the big face here and she makes a bit of a comeback but Molly puts her out easily. Trish is almost out earlier but holds on and sneaks up on Molly to put her out and retain.

Rating: D-. This was bad on all levels. I’ve never gotten the appeal of the schoolgirl thing and this was no exception. Nothing came from this at all but at least it was quick. It was boring as heck on top of that too so there we are. At least it’s over and the girls are hardly bad looking….for the most part.

Around this time we started getting some new Divas, including one by the name of Christy Hemme. She and Victoria started a feud over a swimsuit contest, leading to a match at Vengeance 2005.

Christy Hemme vs. Victoria

They start fast and Victoria does all kinds of evil things to Christy. This is non-title also since the title is on Smackdown at the moment. The cards in the set change based on who is in the current match. The fans don’t really care either. Lawler says this is about looks or whatever. Christy botches the heck out of a sunset flip. Yeah I’m stunned too.

Ross freaks because Christy can do a DDT. She can do one of the least complex moves of all time and she gets cheered for it. She goes for another sunset flip and Victoria drops down and grabs the ropes for the heel pin.

Rating: D-. The lack of failing is because these are two of the hottest Divas of all time. The match was totally awful though, if you didn’t guess that part. Christy was gorgeous but it was clear that she just wasn’t all that great in the ring and it showed every time she was out there. Even Victoria couldn’t save her, and that says quite a bit.

After entering and leaving an alliance called Candice Michelle and Torrie Wilson called Vince’s Devils, it was back to old stomping grounds for Victoria as she faced Trish Stratus on the August 21, 2006 episode of Monday Night Raw.

Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

They slug it out to start and Trish hits a splash in the corner followed by a dropkick. Trish knocks her to the floor and hits the Thesz Press to the floor. Clothesline gets two back in the ring. Victory roll gets the same and you know Lawler was happy with that. Stratusfaction is countered into a backbreaker and Victoria works on the back a bit. They go to the corner and Trish hits a middle rope hurricanrana but Victoria pops up and tries the Widow’s Peak. Trish escapes and Stratusfaction ends this clean.

Rating: C+. This was FAR better than any Divas match that we’ve had in years. It’s only about three minutes long and they did more good looking stuff than the modern batch of Divas have done in I don’t know how long. Trish was gorgeous but she could also have some great matches. Victoria is no slouch either.

Mickie James was Women’s Champion around this time and that wasn’t cool with Victoria. She created a hit list and went after every name before getting to Mickie, with the showdown coming at New Year’s Revolution 2007.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Mickie James

So for a month and a half, Victoria has had a hit list of the Divas to get to James and this is the end of that. Mickie is still rocking the insane skirts at this point. Ross and Lawler talk about Jack Doane’s hometown for zero explainable reason. Lillian is cheering for Mickie as Lillian almost got a Widow’s Peak on Raw.

Mickie starts throwing punches which is weird to see. And Lawler gets to use the line of he loves to see her wrestle but he’d love to see her box. Ross misses it though so we get no rebuttal. Melina comes out to help Victoria and it doesn’t work as Mickie hits her spinning DDT for the pin.

Rating: F+. Only reason are all the great visuals. The booking here makes zero sense as they built Victoria up as the monster for a month and a half and now it’s just thrown away. Oh well, they looked hot so that’s all that matters in this division. Lawler’s lines were beyond old at this point and brought it down even further.

Victoria would become a veteran around this time, meaning she would be used to bring up the newer Divas coming in to replace the retired Trish and Lita. This would go on for most of 2008, including a six Diva tag on October 31, 2008’s Smackdown.

Michelle McCool/Maria/Brie Bella vs. Maryse/Natalya/Victoria

Michelle is Divas Champion and everyone is in Halloween costumes, ranging from Cleopatra (Brie) to a bunny (Maria) to a soldier (McCool) to a French maid (Maryse) to a cop (Natalya) to…..Victoria as a banana. Maria throws Victoria around but the banana cartwheels out of it. Off to Natalya who gets hit in the ribs and dragged over to Cleopatra, only to come back with a Samoan drop.

Maryse comes in for a backbreaker and two before the big banana hits her spinning side slam for the same. Brie tries to hide under the ring and it’s Twin Magic, allowing for the tag off to McCool. House is cleaned and a neckbreaker gets two on Victoria. Maria makes a blind tag and comes off the top with a cross body for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D. If you don’t get the point of this one, I don’t know how to help you.

That would be about it for Victoria in the WWE as she would leave in January 2009 but would appear again very soon, this time in TNA as Tara. She would win two Knockouts Titles in her first six months but neither of them would last a full month. That would change after her 2/3 falls match against champion ODB at Genesis 2010.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. ODB

This is 2/3 falls which makes sense as they’ve had a match or two before and you can’t have the same match again as we had a few weeks ago and then ask people to pay for it. THAT WOULD MAKE NO SENSE! That Broken song is AWESOME. There’s not a ton going on in the first few minutes here as it’s just them going back and forth.

This is the problem with 2/3 falls matches: you don’t have to really pay attention until the second fall, which is starting right now as Tara hooks a small package for the first fall. Tara hooks the tarantula. Not a lot is going on here at all. We get a great shot of Tara’s figure to make this match much better. Brooke shot number 6. This time she’s with Joey Fatone.

If TNA insists on the celebrity thing, get celebrities that have mattered this millennium. ODB uses the freaking Tumbleweed. Are we in the mid 70s all of a sudden? She pulls something out of her cleavage to be odd before hitting a powerslam for two. This is kind of meandering along and needs to end soon. ODB keeps touching herself and checking her pulse. It’s freaking stupid looking. And the Widow’s Peak ends it. The timing was pretty good if nothing else. What the heck is up with the freaking spider???

Rating: C-. Not great here as the 2/3 falls thing felt way too much like a gimmick for the sake of having a gimmick which I can If never advocate. Tara winning the title is fine, but she didn’t need to get two straight wins to do it. That was overkill which is never a good thing.

The next few months brought various title defenses against any Knockout until Angelina Love took the title from her about four months later. She wanted the title back so badly that she agreed to put her career on the line against new champion Madison Rayne at Sacrifice, only to lose the title. A few months later, a mysterious biker would appear and help Madison in matches. The biker would be revealed as Tara, who was under a contract with Madison to continue her career. Eventually Tara would a title shot at Angelina Live in a fatal fourway at Bound For Glory 2010, also involving Madison and Velvet Sky.

KnockoutsTitle: AngelinaLovevs. MadisonRaynevs. VelvetSkyevs. Tara

Dang Mickie looks good. I could go without the hardcore country thing though. One fall to a finish here and tags are required. Angelina vs. Madison to start us off. Off to the regular Beautiful People now which is the only match left in that division I suppose. Madison comes in and gets in Mickie’s face but that goes nowhere.

This is another match that is going too fast to really keep track of. Tara vs. Velvet at the moment. How in the world did Hefner think Tara didn’t look good enough for Playboy? Octopus Hold from Velvet to Tara which blows my mind a million ways to Monday. The tagging thing is of course abandoned soon. Widow’s Peak doesn’t go on as Angelina makes a save. And then she rolls up Velvet with some tights being pulled to give her the title. We get the BROKEN song so I’m very happy. Madison goes off on her and Mickie kicks her teeth in. So it’s Tara vs. Mickie now? Ok then.

Rating: D+. Pretty much just a mess here and only a way to get the title on the show. This wasn’t much at all but you had five hot women and you get to add Mickie to the division now which is definitely not a bad thing at all as it was dying for some fresh blood. Nothing very good here but I’ve seen worse.

Tara and Madison would continue their partnership for several more months, including through Tara’s feud with Mickie James. Eventually Madison would take on Mickie herself, only to have Tara turn on her for her freedom. Soon after this Tara would join forces with Miss Tessmacher and challenge Mexican America for the Knockouts Tag Team Titles.

Knockouts Tag Titles: Sarita/Rosita vs. Miss Tessmacher/Tara

Tara and Tessmacher wait for the champs to come through the curtain to jump them. After a beating in the aisle there’s the bell. A double team sends Tara to the floor and Tessmacher hits a double clothesline. Hey, since there are four hot chicks in the ring, let’s show the old Spanish announce team! Tessmacher gets beaten down as we start the actual match here. There’s the required USA chant as Tessmacher takes Rosita down. Just not down enough for a tag.

Everything breaks down quickly as Hebner puts Tara out. More double teaming gets two on Tessmacher. Tara comes in again and throws Tessmacher to their own corner to guarantee a hot tag. Tara cleans house with some awkward looking punches. Widow’s Peak is set up forever but doesn’t hit Sarita because Madison runs in to break it up. Sarita rolls Tara up but only gets two. Tessmacher is thrown into Sarita and actually manages a Stratusfaction bulldog. Tara hits a chokebomb and Tessmacher gets a small package for stereo pins at 4:43 to give us new champs.

Rating: C-. Not like the title mean anything but having Tessmacher and Tara hug each other a lot is never a bad thing. Does anyone ever successfully defend the tag titles anymore? Either way, this was a bit better than most of their matches and it helps that Tessmacher has an actual finishing move now rather than the amplified Stinkface.

Not a lot would happen for Tara other than a few random single and tag title reigns. Eventually she would start feuding with her old partner Miss Tessmacher, including a match for the title at Bound For Glory 2012. The main draw here though was the identity of Tara’s Hollywood boyfriend who would debut tonight.

Knockouts Title: Miss Tessmacher vs. Tara

Tess is defending. Tessmacher’s robe/jacket is on the ropes as we start. A quick crucifix gets no count for the champ. Teryn Terrell is referee again because…because…I have no idea why she’s still around actually. Tara gets sent to the floor and we get a chase scene. Tara hides behind the referee and we head right back to the floor where Tess gets dropped on the apron to give Tara the advantage.

Back in and the champ gets one on a sunset flip and it’s off to a chinlock by Tara. Tara whips her into the corner but charges into a boot followed by a DDT from Tessmacher to put both girls down. Tessmacher takes Tara down and nips right back up, followed by a top rope rana (decent one too) but Tara blocks the Tesshocker. Widow’s Peak and Tara gets the completely clean pin at 6:18.

Rating: D. The rana looked good and the girls looked good in their outfits, but thank goodness Tara won here. Tessmacher is just worthless as champion and hasn’t changed a bit since she won the belt the first time. Tara has had the belt before but at least she’s better than Tess, but most people would be.

Tara introduces the boyfriend: Jesse Godderz from Big Brother. To the shock of no one, there is zero reaction. He’s been training in OVW for like a year and has won five tag titles there. Tara and Jesse make out in the ring. Crowd: “WHO ARE YOU?”

Tara and Jesse would spend the next few months together before Tara left TNA over a pay dispute.

Tara is one of the few Knockouts/Divas that had both the looks and the wrestling ability. She could have good matches with just about anyone she worked with and that’s a rare thing to see anymore. The stuff with Lita and Trish was always great and she was able to help the Knockouts division get beyond the Beautiful People. She’s very talented and looks great for a woman in her 40s so there’s little to complain about with her.

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We’ll stay in TNA today with someone a bit better looking than Sabin: Madison Rayne.

The first match I have is a rarity, as I have no idea when or where it’s from. It’s from September 2006 at the latest and might be from Ohio Championship Wrestling but I’m really not sure. Madison is of course Lexi Lane.

Lexi Lane vs. Traci Brooks

Both girls appear to be faces here and they’re in a high school gym. Both girls try quick rollups for two each and it’s a standoff. Signs suggest this is Hopewell, Ohio, which apparently is a big city for Ohio Championship Wrestling. They hit the mat with Lane putting on a body scissors and rolling Traci (nearly falling out of her top) around for two.

Traci gets spanked into the corner and the fans are far more into the match all of a sudden. Brooks takes her down for some of her own medicine and the referee gets some as well. Lexi takes her to the mat with a headlock but Brooks fights up and gets two off a backbreaker. The referee is accused of looking at Traci’s chest instead of counting before they trade strikes in the corner. Lexi gets two off a clothesline to the ribs (called a spear) followed by some weak forearms. A bad looking X Factor gets the same and Lane goes up for a cross body, only to have Traci roll her through for the pin with a handful of trunks.

Raitng: D+. It was clear that both of them were brand new here and at that point you can’t blame them for not working so well. When you’re that young the main thing you need is ring time and this is the place to get it. They’re clearly still learning the basics and there’s nothing wrong with that.

After getting her start in Shimmer as Ashley Lane, Madison made her debut in TNA in early 2009. She soon joined the Beautiful People with Velvet Sky and Angelina Love and made her PPV debut in a six person tag at Destination X 2009.

Beautiful People vs. Roxxi/Taylor Wilde/The Governor

Yes, the Governor is the Sarah Palin character that Daffney played. What is up with TNA being all political? There are still three Beautiful People at this point: Angelina, Velvet and Madison. At least Wilde looks good here. Governor (in a pantsuit) vs. Velvet to start. The fans chant yes we can because the Orlando fans are rather annoying.

Off to Roxxi and then to Taylor. The non-beautiful ones are tagging in really fast here. Apparently Madison is just now an official member of the BP. Velvet locks in an Octopus Hold to Roxxi who escapes and kicks her in the face. Sign: “Botchmania 71 = this match.” It’s pretty clear the fans aren’t that into this but that’s to be expected.

It’s one of those matches where stuff is happening but there isn’t anything to talk about. Taylor is called the upset queen still despite that being like two years prior to this. Taylor comes in and cleans house as this is one of the least interesting matches I’ve seen in years. Everything breaks down and the Governor dives over the top to the floor to take out everyone not named Madison on the other team. Madison gets caught in a bridging German by Wilde to end this.

Rating: D. What the heck was the point of this? You hear the term “TV match” a lot and this is the definition of one. Nothing at all about this match implies that it should be on a PPV in the slightest and yet here it is, opening the show. You can tell a lot about a PPV and how much effort is put into it by the opener and this one was awful. No one cared, nothing happened and it was short. Weak match indeed and I’m not looking forward to the rest of this show at all now.

The Beautiful People would dominate the Knockouts division in the coming years but they needed some gold. One of their attempts to gain some would come at Turning Point 2009 in a six Knockouts tag with the singles and Tag Titles on the line.

Knockout Title/Knockout Tag Titles: Beautiful People vs. ODB/Taylor Wilde/Sarita

All titles on the line here and the non-beautiful people are champions. No word on how the titles are split up if one of the three pins a tag champion (Wilde/Sarita). You know I wonder what ODB stands for. I think I’ll see what I can come up with (and spare me the comments saying what it stands for. I know already and I need something to get me through this match). The Beautiful People here are Velvet, Lacey and Madison here. Velvet vs. Wilde to start us off but it’s off to Sarita quickly. Ok make that Department of Bacon. We’re less than a minute in and they’ve all been in already.

Headbutt to the ribs gets two for Date of Birth. Madison comes in and does the touch yourself and burn your finger thing. Instead here though she has to go over to the corner and has Velvet blow on it. I guess men and women both want to be blown by her. The delay allows Original Daniel Bryan to bring in Sarita to fight Madison. The tag champions set up a double team moonsault (belly to back release into a moonsault by Taylor) for two.

Madison takes over and it’s off to Madison. After mounting Wilde she throws on a chinlock for about 2 seconds and hammers away a bit more. The fans say Lacey can’t wrestle so we’re back off to Velvet. Octopus hold goes on for a few seconds so the announcers can make Inoki jokes. An elbow breaks the hold and it’s cold tag to Board of Directors. After a fallaway slam to Velvet everything breaks down. They triple team Operation Break Dance which fails completely. TKO ends Madison.

Rating: D. Weak match here that had no point at all being on the PPV. This is what Impact is for: six minute matches with hot women doing nothing of note for the entire match. Also, is there a reason to keep the titles on there? Oxford Dictionary of Britain doesn’t get us anywhere as champion. Angelina would be back soon which helped the division a lot. Anyway, weak match.

Rayne would get her own singles title at Lockdown 2010 in another six person tag with all titles on the line.

Knockout’s Title/Tag Titles: Beautiful People vs. Tara/Angelina Love

Ok so it’s your standard two singles wrestlers vs. tag champions. You know the rules I’m sure. Yep Tara is gorgeous. Velvet and Angelina start us off. Taz is rather annoying on commentary to say the least. Some nice double teaming from the BP there. Make jokes amongst yourselves. Tara pulls an Angle and totally misses a moonsault. Good to see that the accuracy is there still.

Angel is better in the ring than she’s given credit for. Madison takes the Widow’s Peak but Velvet makes the save. Lacey gets in somehow and drills Tara in the head with a belt to give Madison Rayne the Knockout’s Title. So that’s two straight title changes with the champion not getting pinned. Ok then. I do love the BP being the focus of the division. That’s intelligent and not sarcastic actually.

Rating: C-. Not terrible actually. Love is underrated in the ring and Tara is always solid. The booking is right here and we don’t get the wacky tag partners which is never any good. Madison being champion is something new that could be worth a try. I’m rather happy for the first near hour of this show. I must be coming down with something.

Madison would win her third Knockouts Title when she made Tara lay down for her on October 14, 2010’s Impact. Since that’s a 4 second match, we’ll look at one of her title defenses at Genesis 2011 against Mickie James.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

Mickie is still insanely sexy.  Madison is doing the whole classy chick gimmick thing again after debuting it a few days ago.  Or was it ten days ago?  Does it really matter?  Madison runs away to start but gets caught in an armdrag for two.  All Mickie to start of course as Madison shrieks.  Madison runs as Tazz makes sex jokes.

The fans say Madison can’t wrestle.  I’m so fed up with them it’s unreal.  Madison uses the ropes to get two in the corner.  This is about as uninteresting as it could be but they’re both hot so that helps a lot.  Rana out of the corner by Mickie drops the champion on her head.  Since it’s TNA we change camera angles every 9 seconds.

Cravate by Madison as we’re killing time now.  There’s a chinlock as this is going way too long, nearly at 9 minutes now.  Mickie gets a nice counter and a rollup for two.  Boot to the head gets two for Madison.  Champ tries the head bounce thing she does but Mickie counters into a wheelbarrow slam for two.  DDT is reversed and Madison gets spanked.

Thesz Press gets no cover.  Mickie sets for the DDT but here’s Tara because she and Mickie haven’t spent enough time together already.  Madison plays possum and loads up her arm with something to get the pin to retain the title.  For the love of crap get the title off of her already.

Rating: D. This got nearly 14 minutes.  Do I need to explain to you why this was a bad idea?  It wasn’t any good for the most part as Mickie dominated the whole time.  I’m bored out of my mind with Madison and her reign as she does nothing interesting while Mickie and Tara are definitely the best girls on the roster.  But hey let’s keep pushing through with the same thing the whole time right?  Bad match.

The only thing left for Madison to achieve was a Knockouts Tag Title and she would get a shot on the November 3, 2011 episode of Impact.

Knockout Tag Titles: Tara/Brooke Tessmacher vs. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne

Time for the monthly defense of the titles. Brooke’s outfit is designed like a Texas flag for some reason. She and Madison start us off but it’s off to Tara quickly. The arm work begins as the champions are tagging fast. Gail comes in and is all dominant and evil for a bit. Tessmacher’s corner hijinks don’t really work this time. Gail beats on Brooke a bit more until it’s a hot tag to Tara. Everything breaks down and there’s the Widow’s Peak. Karen Jarrett has the referee though and Eat Defeat gives us new champions at 5:05.

Rating: D+. It’s not like anyone cares about the belts, but this is what you do with the titles here as they’re actually having a division wide angle going on. Karen is evil and trying to have her girls get the titles. It’s not particularly interesting but a dull story is better than a repetitive one on a treadmill like the Divas have so this was fine, just not that interesting.

Madison would be gone for most of 2013 due to getting pregnant, but she would get the Knockouts Title one more time before the end of the year at Hardcore Justice 2012.

Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. Miss Tessmacher

Tessmacher is defending. They shove each other around to start and Earl is refereeing. WHY WOULD STING LET HIM DO THAT? Madison takes over by sending Tessmacher into the corner and then launches her across the ring by the hair. That has to hurt like no other. Tessmacher comes back with some clotheslines but walks into a northern lights suplex for two. The real comeback starts with some clotheslines but that mat slam of Tessmacher’s is countered. The champ slams her down by the hair and hits a top rope elbow for two. Out of nowhere Madison grabs a rollup and uses the ropes for the pin and the title at 5:30.

Rating: D. This was your usual Knockouts match: not that good but the girls look good in their little outfits. Hebner didn’t cheat at all in this which makes the sights of Madison kissing him COMPLETELY POINTLESS. Yes I get that it could mean something later, but WHY DID I HAVE TO SEE THAT HAPPEN IN THE FIRST PLACE??? Not a terrible match but man alive I do not care about women’s wrestling at all in either company. It’s just dull all around.

We’ll close things out with Madison’s return to the company in 2013 after having a baby and a title shot against Knockouts Champion Gail Kim from Genesis 2014.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Madison Rayne

Madison is challenging but is still beaten down from the attack from before the break. Kim beats her down even more by stomping away in the corner but Madison comes back with a rollup for two of her own. Madison can’t shake off all of the punishment from earlier though and staggers down off a forearm to the head. A shoulder block sends the champion to the floor but Tapa runs Madison over and chokes her down. Tapa is finally ejected but Gail does just fine by putting on the Figure Four around the post. The referee breaks it up and Rayne comes back with a flapjack and the Rayne Drop for the pin and the title at 4:00.

Rating: D. Just a match here but at least it ended the less than enthralling Gail Kim title reign. Kim is very talented in the ring but she’s a black hole of charisma, making her title reigns very difficult to sit through. Rayne could be an improvement if she’s actually given the chance to do something different.

I’m kind of surprised by how low most of these ratings are. Madison is a better worker than a lot of the Knockouts but it’s true that she owes a lot of her job to her looks. To be fair though, she can only do so much with limited talent around her. One other thing: you might have noticed the lack of stories here and that’s a big problem for the Knockouts. Almost all they have are title matches with nothing connecting them and that gets old in a hurry.

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Some through releases, some through contracts not being renewed.  Here’s what we have so far:

Taeler Hendrix – Released

Madison Rayne – Contract not renewed

Christian York – Released

Joey Ryan – Released

Crimson – Not sure, likely released

Odds are more are coming, but it sounds like a big cost cutting move.  Other than Crimson, do any of these really surprise anyone?

Edit: Sam Shaw was originally listed but apparently he’s still around.

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 19, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re moving closer to Against All Odds after last week’s pretty awesome show. Well at least the second hour was. Tonight there’s a big match and it’s actually been advertised. I’m as shocked as you are. It’s a cage match between Mickie James and Madison Rayne to probably blow off their feud stemming from Karen being all evil and crazy. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the ending from last week’s show.

Here’s Storm to open things up. He likes being #1 contender and he beat the best in the world to do it. Angle may be the best, but on those nights, Storm was that much better. Now he’s got Roode at Against All Odds….and here’s Hardy for a rebuttal. He says he got screwed at the PPV and then again last week. Storm isn’t getting a title shot until Hardy does. They both say they got screwed. Storm: “With all that screwing he must have a lot of child support to pay.”

Here’s Roode who says Storm does in fact get the winner of Hardy vs. Roode, but since there’s no winner, Storm isn’t #1 contender anymore. Hardy got two chances in 5 days and blew them both, so he’s out too. This brings out Sting who says Roode found another loophole. Therefore tonight it’s Storm vs. Hardy and the winner gets Roode at the PPV.

Angelina rants about Eric Young a bit and challenges him to a match later tonight.

Gunner vs. AJ Styles

The announcers keep pushing the idea that Gunner has injured a lot of people. AJ does his usual stuff to start, such as the drop down into a dropkick. Gunner takes over and Tazz actually brings up Flair and AJ’s past relationship. Jumping knee to the face gets two for Gunner. Gunner controls for a bit but AJ comes back with the springboard forearm. Here come Kaz and Daniels with Daniels telling Kaz to do what he’s supposed to do. F5 is countered and Flair pops up on the apron. The distraction lets Kaz deck AJ and a DDT from Gunner gets the pin at 4:45.

Rating: C-. Just a match basically to further whatever is going on with Daniels and Kaz. Kaz being so reluctant is an interesting story but I’d like it to not be Daniels. I mean….it’s been done. Like A LOT. Anyway, decent match and it’s amazing what a character trait did for Gunner. Why did it take them over a year to do it?

Gunner goes for the concrete but AJ gets away.

Magnus is ready for Crimson. Crimson and Morgan come up and Crimson threatens Magnus. Morgan says save it for the ring.

Ray is with Sting and demands a world title match since he hasn’t lost since being a singles wrestler. Sting says no and make an appointment the next time you want to talk to me. Ray kind of threatens him…I think. Sting even lifts the glasses and Ray is mad.

Magnus vs. Crimson

No seconds with either guy. Magnus jumps him to start and hits a clothesline for two. And never mind as Red Sky (a bad one) ends this at 1:10.

Joe comes out post match and beats down Crimson. Morgan finally makes the save. He gets beaten down too and Joe/Magnus stand tall.

Eric young is fascinated by Bellator. A caterer comes up and Eric annoys her by thinking she’s a fighter. He says he doesn’t fight women. ODB comes up and talks about Angelina’s challenge and Eric isn’t happy. Sex is implied.

We get a clip from last week with the Bischoff Hour. Garrett is shown training. He says we’ll find out who’s training him soon.

We recap Mickie vs. Madison. I’m not sure this warrants a cage match but it’s not bad.

Madison freaks out and Gail says let’s just go to the ring.

Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

Mickie starts fast and rams her into the buckle to start. Powerbomb out of the corner hits and we’re officially longer than the Lockdown match from last year. Seated dropkick gets a delayed two. Mickie hooks something like a choke and Madison is in trouble. Madison escapes and hits a HARD kick to take over. That sounded great. Mickie reverses a whip and we take a break.

Back with Mickie in control again. This has been pretty one sided so far. Mickie takes her down and nips up but Madison sends her into the cage to take over. Madison humps the mat with Mickie’s head between her legs. Somehow that’s a lot less hot than you would expect. Off to the chinlock. Madison has a little American flag patch on her shorts. Not sure why but it looks good there.

Mickie fights up and a neckbreaker from James puts both of them down. They slug it out, won by Mickie. A flying forearm and clothesline put Madison down. Another flapjack attempt is countered and a boot gets two for Rayne. And then Mickie rams her into the cage a few times and the jumping DDT gets the pin at 12:23.

Rating: C. Not bad here but nothing classic. It’s so much better in this division than the Divas, and a lot of that is due to the time. The Divas matches get annoying because they’re just there and gone so fast that they don’t mean anything. The Knockouts don’t have masterpieces but they have matches, which is a big step in the right direction.

Austin Aries talks about what he’s going to talk about and how entertaining he is. I didn’t leave anything out there: he says he’s going to talk about something and how interesting whatever he’ll be saying will be without saying what it is.

Velvet and Tara congratulate Mickie. She says she’s hardcore or something. No idea what the point of this was.

Hardy says that the world title is what it takes to validate everything.

Video on Aries and his domination of the X Division. He talks about how dominant he is and says he needs competition.

Here’s Aries in the arena. He says it’s that time of the month: it’s time for him to brag about being the best in the world after another successful title defense. If he sucks like the audience says, why does he still have this title? There’s no one here to take me on, so maybe he should go around the world to find competition. Cue the returning Alex Shelley, once again with the skunk hair.

He talks about the Guns being injured and how he came back the day Sabin hurt his knee. Shelley wanted to wait on Sabin to get back but Aries has bored him so much that he had to come back. Last time it took a low blow for Aries to beat him. Aries says go wait for Sabin to come back because there’s no point to doing anything else. Shelley says if he’s such a non-threat, Aries should have no issue giving him a title match. Aries says whoa whoa whoa, but you have to earn it. Go find an X Division guy and beat them, then you get your show. Shelley says Aries can pick it.

ODB wants Angelina to get destroyed tonight. Winter jumps her and they brawl with ODB seemingly in control. Winter gets in a shot with a metal something and then whips ODB with a belt.

Angelina Love vs. Eric Young

Let’s get this over with. Eric isn’t sure what to do so he locks up with the referee. Then with a fan. Then he jumps back in. Then he locks up with the referee again. The referee is shoved into Angelina in the corner and Eric counts to four for a near DQ. Angelina kicks him low for the DQ at 1:57. Oh….just no.

ODB with the save but she gets beaten down. Eric sends both evil ones to the floor. ODB kisses him.

Storm says it’s his time to be champion.

James Storm vs. Jeff Hardy

Winner gets Roode at Against All Odds. They quickly go to the mat with Hardy having moderate control. Storm hits a clothesline but is tired already and we take a break. Back with Hardy sending him to the floor and taking over back in the ring. Storm channels his inner Blanchard and hits a slingshot suplex. After a quick chinlock, Jeff starts his comeback and hits the Whisper in the Wind for two.

Now Jeff hooks a chinlock. They’ve been going in a low gear up to this point. Eye of the Storm is countered but Storm hits some freaky release mat slam for two. He loads up the Last Call but Jeff counters into the Twisting Stunner. Here comes the Swanton but Storm breaks it up. A superplex is countered but Storm hits an enziguri to knock Jeff down. Now the superplex hits but both guys are down. And then Bully Ray comes in and hits the referee for the no contest at 13:24.

Rating: C. Not bad but it was clear they were keeping it in low gear until the ending. Ray coming in was foreshadowed pretty clearly and I think they’re going to go with the three or four way main event at Against All Odds, because goodness knows there aren’t enough of those right? Anyway, not much here and the ending was pretty obvious.

Ray beats them both down and beats up referees also, all with the chain. Sting comes out with the bat and beats up Ray, chasing him off to end the show. Or wait is it the end? No it isn’t as Roode comes in and both guys get belt shots.  Roode declares it a no contest and says he’s still champion.  THAT ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was an ok show and that’s about it. They got some stuff set up for Against All Odds….kind of. The problem is that there was no fire to this at all and it felt like a throwaway show. That’s ok as they have a few weeks before the PPV and I’m sure a lot will happen in the UK, but this was still pretty weak stuff. The cage match was ok as was the main event, but it wasn’t anything to remember at all. Not bad, but just kind of there.

Results
Gunner b. AJ Styles – DDT
Crimson b. Magnus – Red Sky
Mickie James b. Madison Rayne – Jumping DDT
Eric Young b. Angelina Love via DQ when Love kicked Young low
Jeff Hardy vs. James Storm went to a no contest when Bully Ray interfered

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