Impact Wrestling – March 16, 2021: The Side Show

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 16, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: D’Lo Brown, Matt Striker

We’re done with Sacrifice and that means it is time to start getting ready for the next major pay per view with Rebellion. Rich Swann is now the sole World Champion and gets to move on to face Kenny Omega at the pay per view. By face I mean be sacrificed to, as AEW begins its march to taking over every other promotion not named WWE because….I’m not sure why that’s what we’re doing but it seems likely. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

FinJuice vs. XXXL

Non-title as FinJuice won the Tag Team Titles at Sacrifice. Larry D. drives Robinson into the corner with the straight power but Robinson is back with a dropkick. Finlay comes in off the top with an elbow to the arm but Acey Romero shrugs off a double bulldog attempt. A running crossbody to Robinson’s back crushes him again but everything breaks down in a hurry. Acey gets double dropkicked out to the floor and the Acid Drop finishes Larry at 3:32.

Rating: C-. That’s all this should have been as the new champs shouldn’t have a problem against a team like XXXL. FinJuice works well together and that kind of chemistry is always going to work. It was fun to see them pick apart the monsters because that is something that can be done for quite a while without losing its appeal.

Post match here are the Good Brothers with Anderson blaming Gallows for the loss. Gallows: “You got pinned.” Anderson: “Beside the point.” They have been busy lately so the loss really wasn’t fair. The champs are willing to give them a rematch, but they’ll have to wait until a Japan trip is over. Ok young boys (Japan reference!)? The brawl is on and FinJuice bail in a hurry.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

Sami Callihan is here to expose Trey Miguel’s lack of passion. Miguel thinks anger is the same thing as passion and it was on display last week when he beat up his student Sam Beale. Tonight, Sami is going to embarrass Miguel over his lack of passion.

The Good Brothers complain about FinJuice taking the titles back to Japan without them but Scott D’Amore gives them their rematch at Rebellion.

The Good Brothers leave and Tommy Dreamer comes in to say that not having Tag Team Titles is a problem. D’Amore goes on a rant about how we can’t just team up with Paul E. and run a company into the ground. Hardcore Justice is next month so Dreamer can book it himself. Dreamer has actually already done that so D’Amore says Dreamer is in charge that night. Great, but at least it makes a bit of sense this time. I’m going to hope that Hardcore Justice is a requirement because having that show the same month as Rebellion seems a bit nuts.

Rhino vs. Jake Something

Violent By Design, Chris Sabin and James Storm are all here too. They slug it out to start with Rhino getting the better of things and slamming Jake down by the hair. The people on the floor get in a brawl and Rhino uses the distraction to hit the Gore for the pin at 2:08.

Post match Violent By Design beats Something/Storm/Sabin down.

Tenille Dashwood and Kaleb With A K fire up their team for a 12 woman Knockouts match later. Most of the rest of the team thinks they should be in charge instead and a lot of bickering ensues.

Rohit Raju vs. Mahabali Shera

Raju knocks him into the corner to start and hammers away, only to get rocked by straight power. A shot to the leg takes Shera down and Raju rakes the eyes before starting in on the arm. That just makes Shera mad but he gets kicked in the face. A jumping knee to the head sets up a Cannonball in the corner but Shera is right back with a chokebreaker. Shera misses a charge into the post though and Raju grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin at 4:05.

Rating: D+. I’m sorry what now? Impact has been building Shera up as this unstoppable monster for weeks now and then he loses to Raju in four minutes? After being beaten down for most of the match? I have no idea what they were going for here but I was much more confused than anything else. Raju has come a LONG way in the last few months, but what was the point in having him almost squash Shera?

Willie Mack comes up to Rich Swann and congratulates him for his win. They need to celebrate this but Swann has something to do first.

Here’s Rich Swann for a chat, carrying both belts. He can’t hold these titles up because the gold is weighing him down. Last Saturday, he and Moose worked hard and Swann was the one on the higher horse. Now he is a double World Champion and that is unthinkable. Swann has partied every day since then but now he has to get serious about the monkey on his back that is Kenny Omega. Now it all comes back around on April 24 as he gets a chance to make up for January. It’s one on one at Rebellion and we will see who the real World Champion really is.

Cue Don Callis to hug Swann and say something to him that we can’t hear. Callis talks about how much he loves history and wants Swann to stop him if he says anything untrue. He has been a Swann guy for a long time now and has fought for him for years. Callis was the one wanted him to have a chance and made sure he was paid every two weeks while he was recovering from a broken leg. Swann nods to acknowledge that this is all true, including that Callis fought for him to get into the Bound For Glory main event.

Swann was the shiny toy but now Callis has moved on to someone else in Kenny Omega. Sure Swann had a great moment at Sacrifice, but maybe he can’t stop thinking about that One Winged Angel at Hard To Kill. Swann is a once in a decade talent, but Omega is a god of professional wrestling. Callis has been there for all of Omega’s greatest moments and he’ll be there shouting ONE WINGED ANGEL on commentary at Rebellion when Omega walks out with both titles. This was great stuff from Callis and he played the mastermind well.

It’s time for Tony Schiavone/Tony Khan to give their weekly Dynamite plug. We run down the card, with Forbidden Door being mentioned three times in the first thirty seconds. There wasn’t much in the way of funny this time.

Eddie Edwards and Matt Cardona are glad to have each others’ backs when Brian Myers comes in. Edwards leaves and Myers says he doesn’t want Cardona here for once. Cardona doesn’t seem phased.

Tenille Dashwood/Fire N Flava/Kimber Lee/Deonna Purrazzo/Susan vs. Jazz/ODB/Jordynne Grace/Havok/Nevaeh/Alisha

Kaleb With A K is here with Dashwood and company. Alisha goes after Dashwood to start but gets dropped with a forearm. Dashwood misses a charge into the corner though and it’s a running hip attack to keep her down. ODB hits the Bronco Buster and it’s off to Susan, who gets caught in the wrong corner by Nevaeh.

Therefore Kimber comes in instead and gets double teamed down by Havok and Nevaeh for an early two. Havok throws Kiera into the corner and we get a Jazz vs. Purrazzo showdown. Everything breaks down in a hurry for the parade of shots to the face until Steelz and Grace slug it out. The two of them hit the big dives and we take a break.

Back with Purrazzo clotheslining Alisha for two but Susan gets dropped with a clothesline. The hot tag brings in Grace to start cleaning house, including a powerslam for a pair of twos on Lee. Everything breaks down again for the parade of secondary finishers until we’re down to Jazz vs. Lee. An STF misses and Jazz pulls her into the STF for the tap at 13:07.

Rating: C. You’re only going to be able to get so much out of twelve people in there at once. It was fine enough while it lasted and Jazz does get a rub out of the pin (Jazz vs. Deonna for the title could work well as an Impact Plus showdown), but nothing really got a chance to shine with so many people in there at the same time.

Ace Austin is rather happy with his win at Sacrifice, even if he told us so. Chris Bey comes in to bring up beating Austin last week, but here is Josh Alexander to say he won at No Surrender. Ace isn’t pleased but here’s TJP, who gets his rematch for the title next week.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Sami Callihan vs. Trey Miguel

Trey slugs away to start fast but Sami runs him over with a clothesline. They fight to the floor in a hurry and then up to the stage, where Miguel slips out of a powerbomb attempt. Sami gets in a Boston crab on the floor as we take a break. Back with Sami kicking away and sending him outside in another heap. Miguel’s leg is tied around the post and kicked hard, followed by the Junkyard Dog headbutts back inside.

The leg cranking is on but Miguel kicks him away for the breather. Sami goes up top, where he counters a super hurricanrana into a Boston crab while still on the middle rope. That’s broken up so Trey tries a springboard, only to have his leg give out. Trey is fine enough to knock him down for a double stomp and we take another break.

Back with again the chop off until Trey uses the good leg for a Codebreaker. Miguel tries another top rope double stomp and bangs up the knee again, allowing Sami to hit another clothesline. A grab of the leg is broken up by Sami biting Miguel and an STF has Trey in more trouble. Make the a Crossface with Miguel in even more trouble until a rope is grabbed.

Sami chops him up against the barricade but Miguel manages to run the steps for a springboard cutter onto the floor. Back in and Trey gets two off a neckbreaker, with the kickout having Miguel a little screwed up. Trey goes up but the referee gets in the way to check on Callihan, allowing Sami to crotch Trey on top. The package piledriver finishes Miguel at 23:52.

Rating: B. This worked out well with both guys beating on each other for a long time until the screwy finish. I’m not sure where this is going but as long as it doesn’t end up with the two of them as wacky tag team partners, everything should wind up working out. Miguel was working hard here and Sami was a great villain, making this a heck of a match.

Overall Rating: C. Not too bad here but the stories continue to not be the most thrilling in the world. Above all else, it feels like we’re just waiting around while the World Title is kept warm for Kenny Omega, who will….probably not be around here very often. At the same time, you have New Japan holding the Tag Team Titles because we need to show how awesome it is when other companies are here. This leaves Impact with part time World and Tag Team Champions (or probably just one once we get done with Rebellion where the Good Brothers get the titles back) because….uh, guest stars! Not an awful show, but not inspiring.

Results

FinJuice b. XXXL – Acid drop to Larry D.

Rhino b. Jake Something – Gore

Rohit Raju b. Mahabali Shera – Rollup with feet on the ropes

ODB/Jazz/Nevaeh/Havok/Alisha/Jordynne Grace b. Fire N Flava/Kimber Lee/Susan/Deonna Purrazzo/Kimber Lee – STF to Lee

Sami Callihan b. Trey Miguel – Package piledriver

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – March 9, 2021: A Very Good Match, Drinking And A Schnook

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 9, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: D’Lo Brown, Matt Striker

It’s the go home show for Sacrifice which is one of the rather big pit stops on the way to Rebellion in April. I’m curious to see how they are going to set things up on the way there, as the card is all but set up. You can always use a little bit of an extra push though and that is what we should be in for here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Tasha Steelz vs. Jazz

Kiera Hogan and Jordynne Grace are here too. Steelz talks a lot of trash to start and Jazz doesn’t seem interested in hearing it. Jazz sends her outside without much effort but Steelz is back in with a headlock takeover. That’s reversed into a headscissors, with Steelz escaping and talking more trash. They stay on the mat with the reversals until Steelz has to bail to the rope to get out of a modified Boston crab.

A neckbreaker out of the corner gets two on Jazz and Steelz slaps on the chinlock. Back up and Steelz misses a charge into the post, allowing Jazz to grab a small package for two. The Falcon Arrow gives Steelz two but Jazz makes the comeback and grabs a Samoan drop for two more. A sitout powerslam gets the same as Grace and Hogan get into it. Jazz grabs the STF for the tap at 6:03.

Rating: C-. It’s the same thing you’ve seen time after time and there wasn’t much more to it than that. One half of a tag team beat half of another tag team to set up their Tag Team Title match in a few days. It has been done for years now and while it gets the job done, it doesn’t exactly make me thrilled to see the title match.

ODB is happy for Jazz when Susan comes in to yell. A match is made for tonight.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

Trey Miguel talks to his friend Sam (who Sami Callihan made into his student last week), who says Sami isn’t a bad guy. Miguel says Sami is lying but Sam says that’s what Sami said he would say. Sami told Sam to issue a challenge for tonight so Trey will beat a lesson into him.

Video on Moose vs. Rich Swann at Sacrifice to unify the two World Titles. Swann is ready to fight and Moose is ready to be a monster. Believe it or not, Swann thinks Moose is missing the heart.

Mahabali Shera/Rohit Raju vs. Chris Sabin/James Storm

Raju and Sabin start things off with both guys ducking a bit until Raju sweeps the leg for a knockdown. Sabin takes him into the corner though and hands it off to Storm, who gets two off of Sabin’s kick to the back of the head. Storm throws Raju into the corner because he wants to face Shera like a cowboy should. Some right hands in the corner don’t do much to Shera, who kicks him in the face. Striker: “The world just saw that.” Check your viewership Striker. You would be lucky if the population of Lafayette, Louisiana saw that (at least in America).

We take a break and come back with Sabin in trouble for a change and Shera hitting some clotheslines in the corner. Shera’s Cannonball gets two but Sabin fights out of the double team and gets the hot tag to Storm. House is cleaned, including a spinebuster for two on Raju. An assisted tornado DDT gives Sabin two and everything breaks down. Raju hits a jumping knee to Storm but Shera goes after Storm, which has Raju annoyed. Sabin gets in a shot from behind to knock Shera into Raju, setting up the Cradle Shock for the pin at 10:22.

Rating: C+. I’m still not sure when Shera and Raju became a half decent tag team but they’re making it work out well enough. Storm and Sabin are a cool idea for a team and they are doing about as well as you would expect. This was a good match and that is not something I would have expected coming in, so call it a nice surprise.

Reno Scum and XXXL argue as my blood pressure begins to rise. Decay comes in to talk to Larry D., with Acey Romero freaking out. XXXL leaves and Decay vs. Scum seems to be set up for Sacrifice.

Flashback Moment of the Week: the Motor City Machine Guns b. Beer Money and Team 3D.

Deaner survives his punishment and gets another lecture from Eric Young. Chris Sabin and James Storm come up and ask what is going on here. Storm yells at Young and the brawl is on, with Joe Doering coming in to leave Storm and Sabin laying.

Brian Myers storms into Scott D’Amore’s office and demands that Eddie Edwards be fired in exchange for dropping some legal issue. D’Amore makes an anything goes match for Sacrifice instead. I’m not sure if that is what Myers wanted.

Trey Miguel vs. Sam Beale

Sami Callihan handles Sam’s intro, saying he has the heart that Miguel is lacking. Trey turns to yell at Callihan and gets jumped from behind to start. That earns Sam a leglock pulled into a choke for the tap at 43 seconds.

Post match Sami messes with the lights and takes Sam out.

Chris Sabin and James Storm want to get rid of Violent By Design by cutting off the snake’s head at Sacrifice. Jake Something comes in and says he’ll have their back. Sure why not.

It’s time for the AEW ad, with Tony Khan bragging about the Revolution buy rate and running down the Dynamite card. Tony Schiavone handles the other half because these shows have a lot on them.

Scott D’Amore handles the contract signing between the Good Brothers and FinJuice for the Tag Team Title match at Sacrifice. Booze is brought out so D’Amore leaves and lets them handle this themselves. They enjoy some shots (with an ode to Curt Hennig) and the contract is signed. FinJuice throws the drinks into the Brothers’ faces and the brawl is on.

Ace Austin vs. Chris Bey

Madman Fulton is here with Austin and this should be good. Austin heads straight to the floor and grabs a chair but gets back in at nine sans chair. Bey takes him into the corner so Austin shoves him off, only to get headlocked to the mat. Austin slips out of that and takes Bey to the mat again, setting up a double underhook with a knee to the chest for two. Back up and Bey hits a sliding dropkick to the floor, followed by the big running flip dive.

Austin gets in a shot of his own and heads back inside for his own running flip dive. Back in and a running kick to the face gives Austin two but Bey grabs a Code Red for the same. They both miss rapid fire kicks to the head as Striker says people will be talking about this like they talked about Tiger Mask vs. Dynamite Kid. Austin catches him on top with Bey dropping him down to the floor. Bey falls too (Striker: “An avalanche of flesh!”) and we take a break.

Back with a slugout from their knees until Ace hits a spinning kick to the head in the corner. Bey blocks a headscissors attempt but the Art of Finesse is blocked as well. Bey hits a Vertebreaker for two (good grief) and a slingshot DDT gets no cover. The delay lets Austin bail to the floor and gets in a shot of his own to take over. Cue TJP to watch from a chair so Fulton chases him off. Bey cuts off the Fold with a cutter and finishes with the Art of Finesse at 18:19.

Rating: B. This was rather good, Striker’s downright annoying/stupid comments aside. Both of these guys can look good against anyone so it should come as no surprise that they had a really good one against each other. That being said, who in the world said it was ok to use a Vertebreaker for a throw away near fall? If you’re going to use some big move like that then it better be the finish (especially if you are winning the match). Otherwise, just leave it out because it wastes what could be a huge move later on.

Off to Swinger’s Palace where Josh Alexander doesn’t like TJP. Alexander doesn’t like the belt being on a poker table and promises to be coming for the title.

Rohit Raju yells at Mahabali Shera and gets lifted up against a wall. Shera does not owe him a thing.

ODB vs. Susan

Susan complains about ODB’s chest so ODB pulls her into it. Some chops in the corner have Susan in pain and a Bronco Buster connects. A fall away slam sends Susan outside and the match to a break. Back with ODB hitting a running shoulder and hitting the Dirty Dozen in the corner. Susan grabs a full nelson and then pulls ODB down by the hair, allowing her to pour out ODB’s flask. That earns her the Bam to give ODB the pin at 7:28.

Rating: D+. Well I certainly remember why I can’t stand ODB. This was one signature “hey look at this kind of sexual thing I’m doing” move after another and it gets old fast. Throw in the yelling all the time and I’m really not sure why I’m supposed to cheer for her. She is a legend in the division, but that does not mean she was ever fun to watch in the first place.

Post match Deonna Purrazzo and Kimber Lee comes in to beat on ODB but Jordynne Grace and Jazz run in for the save. Fire N Flava come in as well and the heels beat everyone down.

Sacrifice rundown.

Scott D’Amore is glad to get….something signed, but Moose is in the ring to interrupt. Moose wants D’Amore out here for an announcement he has promised. Post break, Moose is threatening to hijack the show (which has about five minutes to go) unless D’Amore gets out here.

Cue D’Amore, who brings out Rich Swann for a staredown. Here’s the announcement: the match at Sacrifice is title for title in a unification match. They hold up their titles but D’Amore isn’t done. Whoever leaves is going to face Kenny Omega in another title vs. title match against AEW World Champion Kenny Omega. Striker: “IMPACT WRESTLING HAS JUST BROKEN THE INTERNET!” No you haven’t, you schnook.

We cut to Don Callis, who is on the phone with Omega, and says it was just like they planned.

Overall Rating: C. This show did well enough to build to Sacrifice, and it helps a lot that the shows are taking place about once a month. Sacrifice feels like a regular pay per view and it helps that it is at a discount price. The wrestling was hit and miss, as tends to be the case here, with Striker dragging things down due to general annoyance, as tends to be the case as well. Not a bad show, but it was just a preview for the important one.

Results

Jazz b. Tasha Steelz – STF

Chris Sabin/James Storm b. Rohit Raju/Mahabali Shera – Cradle Shock to Raju

Trey Miguel b. Sam Beale – Leglock choke

Chris Bey b. Ace Austin – Art of Finesse

ODB b. Susan – The Bam

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – October 18, 2019: I’m Not Hopeful

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 18, 2019
Location: Sam’s Town Hotel & Gaming Hall, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Don Callis

It’s the go home show for Bound For Glory and that means a few good things for this company. For one thing, we are almost to the biggest show of the year but it also means that things can reset a bit. This has been a pretty nice year for the company but getting back to a fresh start can be a good thing at times. Hopefully that is the case around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Sami Callihan and OVE recap Brian Cage snapping and being arrested as a result. This led to Callihan piledriving Cage’s wife Melissa Santos while Cage was handcuffed last week.

Michael Elgin vs. Fallah Bahh

TJP is out with Bahh. Elgin grabs a rough headlock to start before forearming away. The slam doesn’t quite work so Bahh kicks him in the chest instead. That earns Elgin a lot of shouting and a big shoulder from Bahh but the charge misses in the corner. Elgin gets two off a t-bone suplex and rams Bahh’s head into the buckle, which would suggest that he isn’t all that bright.

The rather muscular slam doesn’t do much to Bahh so Elgin superkicks him down instead. Bahh connects with the Samoan drop and some forearms, followed by the crossbody for two. Elgin manages to send him into the ropes for a German suplex but the big standing clotheslines don’t do much good. A big running clothesline gives Elgin two but Bahh is right back with another Samoan drop for another two. Bahh goes up, allowing Elgin to hit him in the back and grab the Elgin Bomb for the pin at 8:23.

Rating: C+. This was a case of two monsters hitting each other really hard and thankfully they went with the only logical ending of Elgin slaying the bigger beast. Elgin is a weird case as he’s a powerhouse and could be awesome as a face but that’s Brian Cage’s territory at the moment. Maybe down the line, but for now this is as good as we’re going to get. That’s not a bad place to be either.

Post match Elgin beats up TJP as well, including wrapping a chair around his neck and sending it into the post. An Elgin Bomb wraps it up.

We run down the rest of tonight’s card.

Jake Crist vs. Chris Bey

Non-title and Crist wastes no time in kicking him into the corner, only to get kicked in the head for his efforts. A missile dropkick sends Crist to the floor and that means the running dive. We take an early break and come back with Crist superkicking him out of the air for two and grabbing the chinlock. Bey fights out twice and gets pulled back in both times as the chinlocking is strong around here.

That’s switched over into the reverse Rings of Saturn to keep Bey in trouble and a slam gets two. The chinlock goes on again (come on already) but this time Bey pops back up with some shots to the face. A Fameasser gets two and a DDT out of the corner is good for the same. Crist takes him down out of the corner though and loads up the super cutter to finish Bey at 11:28.

Rating: C-. That super cutter always looks good but at the same time there is only so much you can do with that many chinlocks in a match. Crist is rather good at what he does and Bey got a lot out of this match. That being said, it could have been better had they cut out about two minutes of chinlocks, which is often a way to improve things.

Flashback of the Week: the six man tag from Impact vs. Lucha Underground over last Wrestlemania weekend in New Orleans.

Ace Austin is ready to become X-Division Champion, though Alisha Edwards isn’t convinced. He invites her to the parties that come with being champ but she still doesn’t think so. She finally agrees that she’ll come to the celebration if he wins.

Video on Ken Shamrock vs. Moose. Shamrock wants to be better every day and doesn’t like Moose calling him out. Moose has been training to prove that he is a naturally superior athlete. This could be a very bad idea if things go even the slightest bit wrong. Various media personalities are talking about the match because it’s sport vs. sport. Moose seems to be the favorite. They’re both training hard but Shamrock just looks ancient.

Taya Valkyrie talks to someone we can’t see about how they have been there for her the entire time. She talks about her career and how the person has gotten her here. That person would be….her of course. She’ll still be champion after Sunday.

Rich Swann vs. Josh Alexander vs. Rhino

All three partners are here too. Rhino clotheslines Alexander over to start as Swann is knocked out to the floor. Swann is back in with a dropkick but Alexander snaps off a spinebuster to send him outside again. Rhino gets beaten down as well as Alexander is dominant so far. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Swann comes back in, meaning it’s the required Tower of Doom with Swann getting the worst of it.

Swann is fine enough for a super hurricanrana to Alexander as the three seconds get in an argument on the floor. That’s fine with Alexander, who backdrops Swann onto all of them. The Gore hits Alexander but Rhino goes outside to deal with everyone else, allowing Swann to 450 Alexander for the pin at 6:25.

Rating: C. Perfectly watchable match here and a way to set things up for Sunday. If nothing else, we’ll go with something positive here because it isn’t going to lead to the other partners having the same match. Just do the thing once and let it speak for itself. Swann winning is fine, though it wouldn’t shock me to see he and Mack lose on Sunday as a result.

Sami Callihan talks about debuting two years ago and starting his era. Now it’s time for him to become World Champion. He isn’t worried about what he did to Cage and Santos because it was all about mind games. Sami starts crying and talks about how he wanted to be the best but last week was the Sami Callihan that the people created. On Sunday, you’ll have to imagine that he’s the best.

X-Division Title Qualifying Match: Rohit Raju vs. Sabu

Let’s get this over with. No DQ because it’s a Sabu match. Raju mocks Sabu’s point and hammers away to start so Super Genie throws in a chair. Air Sabu is broken up as Raju kicks the chair away, only to have Sabu come back with a tornado DDT. The one armed camel clutch doesn’t last long so Sabu takes it outside and loads up the table. A chair is pelted at Raju’s head and Sabu hits the top rope legdrop through the table for the double countout at 4:14.

Rating: D-. I’m not sure what kind of audience still needs to see Sabu doing this kind of thing and I don’t really want to know. Thankfully they didn’t have him qualify here as it could be a complete disaster to see him in a ladder match. They kept it short here and that’s the second best thing they could have done, aside from not having the match of course, but we must milk that ECW thing for all it is worth. I mean, it only ended eighteen years ago.

Tessa Blanchard is ready for the ladder match and has trained to get here. After becoming X-Division Champion, Sami Callihan is next.

Bound For Glory rundown.

Battle Royal

Eddie Edwards, Jordynne Grace, Havok, Cody Deaner, Cousin Jake, Rosemary, Johnny Swinger, Mahabali Shera, Raj Singh, Luster The Legend, Adam Thornstowe, Kiera Hogan

The winner is the last entrant in the Call Your Shot gauntlet while the last person eliminated is the first entrant. Swinger hits on the women to start and gets tossed out for his efforts. Kiera Hogan dropkicks Jordynne Grace out next and it’s time for Shera to clean house. Back from a break with Cousin Jake having been eliminated so Cody hammers on Shera. Hogan is tossed and Havok gets rid of Singh and Deaner at the same time.

Havok and Rosemary get rid of each other so we’re down to Reno Scum, Shera and Edwards. The obvious triple teaming is on but Thornstowe clotheslines Luster out by mistake. Eddie low bridges Thornstowe out and we’re down to two. Both guys tease an elimination but it’s Thornstowe distracting Eddie so Shera can get the win at 11:25.

Rating: D. Hey, did you know that Shera is awesome and totally from India, which gives Impact a lot of money? This was ever lame battle royal that you can remember with a pretty bad ending. It wasn’t a good match and Shera winning made me roll my eyes because the obvious reason for the push isn’t exactly interesting.

One more Bound For Glory video ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. Those last two matches really hurt this show and took away a lot of the energy that they had built up over the last few weeks. This show was built on highlight packages and while those can be useful, I need a little something more to get me ready for the biggest show of the year. There was no big angle here and nothing on here felt important. Bound For Glory may be good but the way they set it up really put them in a bad spot going into Sunday.

Results

Michael Elgin b. Fallah Bahh – Elgin Bomb

Jake Crist b. Chris Bey – Supper cutter

Rich Swann b. Josh Alexander and Rhino – 450 to Alexander

Rohit Raju vs. Sabu went to a double countout

Mahabali Shera won a battle royal last eliminating Eddie Edwards

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling – June 29, 2017: Guḍabāya Mumbai

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 29, 2017
Location: Film Studio 7, Mumbai, India
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

It’s the last night in India and the go home show for Slammiversary. Most of Sunday’s card is set and tonight we get the hard sell for the show, which will include some contract signings. Also advertised is Rockstar Spud vs. Swoggle in a street fight, and I’m a bit worried about that possibly closing the show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look at what’s coming on Sunday and how important it is. This feels like the pay per view opening instead of the TV opening.

Opening sequence.

Before the show went on the air, we had contract signings for four matches. First up, Sienna called Rosemary dumb for signing up for the match. Sienna said she spits fire while Rosemary spits mist. Rosemary promised to make Sienna sign her death certificate in blood. Next up Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards argued about their wives and how badly they were going to hurt each other.

Third was Ethan Carter III and James Storm nearly coming to blows and then promising to beat each other senseless. Storm got especially fired up and promised to show why he’s been around for fifteen years. The final contract signing saw Lashley sign to face Alberto El Patron. A fight was teased and the table was finally turned over so Bruce Prichard made an eight man tag, albeit with Kongo Kong and Mahabali Shera taking the women’s places.

Video on Sonjay Dutt vs. Low Ki, which would have been better as a way to close out the taping cycle, though I get why they couldn’t with no time to set up the pay per view rematch.

Sonjay Dutt/Matt Sydal vs. Trevor Lee/Low Ki

Dutt armdrags Lee down to start as the fans are WAY into Sonjay here. Sydal comes in with an armdrag but gets caught in the wrong corner. Of course no one is talking about the match because the announcers are talking about their own match instead. The good guys come back with stereo standing moonsaults and we take a break.

Back with Low Ki stomping on Sydal’s chest and the announcers talking about the Knockouts. When that goes nowhere, they start name dropping former announcers. Sydal gets in a few kicks to set up the tag to Dutt. A tornado DDT drops Lee and it’s time for the showdown with Low Ki.

That goes on for all of five seconds before it’s back to Sydal or the top rope knees. A jumping kick to Lee’s head looks to set up the shooting star but Low Ki makes the save. That save doesn’t quite work though as Sydal hits the shooting star for the pin at 13:38. That was quite the unnecessary shooting star as Lee didn’t move for about a minute straight after the kick to the head but you need your flippy bits in there.

Rating: C. Slightly better than the usual X match here and they’ve done a good job of setting up the rematch on Sunday. Having the other two guys who don’t have a match doing the finish was a smart move to keep the other guys safe going into the title match. This did its job and that’s all you can ask for most of the time.

Video on DeAngelo Williams’ training.

Eli Drake/Chris Adonis vs. Mumbai Cats

The Cats are masked men in loud gear. Cat #1 gets knocked into the corner and hammered down with the variety of offense you would expect here. The Eli Drop (White Noise) ends #1 at 2:59. Total squash.

King Mo will be in Lashley’s corner on Sunday. I don’t know why I’m supposed to care either.

Rockstar Spud vs. Swoggle

Mumbai street fight with a short Bollywood actor as referee and they’re already in the comedy spots before I can finish typing this sentence. Swoggle throws nuts and powder at Spud’s face but Spud hits him with a trashcan. A table is set up at ringside and Spud punches him into the corner. Instead of following up though, he grabs a mic and starts talking trash about how everyone hates Swoggle.

The big deal though: he MEANT to pull Swoggle’s pants down. Spud shoves the referee down but gets shoved back, resulting in the referee losing his own pants. Naturally Spud loses his pants too but Swoggle actually manages to pick him up for a Doomsday Device. A Samoan drop through the table gives Swoggle the pin at 6:15.

Rating: D. This is a good example of “not for me”. I’m not big on comedy matches like this one where they beat you over the head with the joke, but at least it didn’t close the show (it was the last thing taped). They didn’t give it much time either and while I didn’t fine it funny, it could have been much worse.

JB and Joseph Park finish their training and Park comes out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around him. Before JB leaves, he hands Park an Abyss figure and tells him to find the inner monster. So wait: we’re getting Abyss at Slammiversary after spending OVER A MONTH dealing with Park? I mean, it’s not exactly a surprise but I’ve been miserable with this feud since the beginning so messing with it in any way was going to get under my skin.

Alberto El Patron is happy that his father will be at Slammiversary.

Sienna/Laurel Van Ness/KM vs. Allie/Rosemary/Braxton Sutter

Allie goes after Laurel to start and it’s quickly off to the men with Sutter hammering away in the corner. A full nelson slam drops Braxton but he gets in a suplex into the corner for a breather. Rosemary and Laurel come back in with Van Ness getting suplexed down for two as everything breaks down. Laurel hits an Unprettier on Sienna but Allie gets in a Death Valley Driver. Rosemary mists Laurel and Allie hits Sienna with a Codebreaker. The Red Wedding (bad one) ends Laurel at 4:00.

Rating: D. No time to go anywhere here though at least Rosemary gets some momentum going into the pay per view. I don’t know why Allie/Braxton vs. KM/Laurel isn’t on the pay per view but we certainly have time for the battling announcers match. It’s not like the women would draw special money, but are the announcers going to either? Putting in the actual wrestlers instead of the “special” attractions might be an idea, though around here that doesn’t have the best luck of going anywhere.

Rosemary pats Allie on the head.

Park finds his inner monster and pulls out Janice.

We run down the pay per view card. There’s still nothing on there that gets me overly interested and that’s not good.

Video on Lashley vs. Alberto. This is a much longer version and shows the build to the match, including their first match where Alberto won the title.

Alberto El Patron/Eddie Edwards/James Storm/Mahabali Shera vs. Lashley/Davey Richards/Ethan Carter III/Kongo Kong

Before the match, the heels jump Shera and lay him out, making this a handicap match to start. Lashley gets caught in the wrong corner early on and Storm gets two off an elbow to the jaw. A side slam drops Eddie Edwards and it’s off to Carter, who gets the skin chopped off his chest a few seconds in.

El Patron comes in and catches Carter in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. That’s about it for the offense though and it’s Kong coming in for the fat man offense. The fast tags continue with Davey kneeing James in the face and quickly bringing Ethan back in. A Sling Blade (way too common of a move anymore) drops Carter for no cover and we take a break.

Back with Eddie in trouble and Davey grabbing a bodyscissors. It’s off to Kong who almost gives up the tag, only to have his partners pull Alberto and company off the apron in a smart move that always works. Eddie hurricanranas Davey and James at the same time and here’s Shera to take the hot tag. Lashley takes an AA and a slam plants Kong for two. Alberto tags himself in and takes out Lashley’s leg before hitting the top rope double stomp for the pin on Kong at 19:03.

Rating: B-. Totally by the book tag match here and that’s all it needed to be. Kong taking the fall was the right move and they even got Shera out there for the big save in a nice move. They’re still keeping Alberto and Lashley apart more often than not but they need to deliver in the main event. I’m sure it’s going to be good but it needs to be a bit more than that after all the build.

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling wasn’t the best from top to bottom but this show did a perfectly acceptable job of setting up the pay per view. Aside from the Tag Team Title match, everything got a little time and the show looks passable on paper. Again though, nothing really stands out and that battling announcers match has the potential to be an outright disaster.

That’s it for the India tapings and……they exist. Most of the time I forgot they were even in India as the shows didn’t really feel like anything different. The Sonjay Dutt title win was easily the best thing about them as it was an easy story that was done exactly as it was supposed to be. Other than that and the abundance of Shera, nothing on here really felt like anything you wouldn’t see at the Impact Zone. Much like a lot of the other stuff in Impact, they weren’t bad but they’re forgettable, which is often a lot worse.

Results

Sonjay Dutt/Matt Sydal b. Low Ki/Trevor Lee – Shooting star press to Lee

Eli Drake/Chris Adonis b. Mumbai Cats – Eli Drop to Cat #1

Swoggle b. Rockstar Spud – Samoan drop through a table

Allie/Rosemary/Braxton Sutter b. KM/Laurel Van Ness/Sienna – Red Wedding to Van Ness

Alberto El Patron/Eddie Edwards/Mahabali Shera/James Storm b. Ethan Carter III/Davey Richards/Lashley/Kongo Kong – Top rope double stomp to Kong

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling – June 15, 2017: One of the Worst Shows They’ve Ever Had

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 15, 2017
Location: Film Studio 7, Mumbai, India
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

We’re still in India and tonight’s main event is a special treat for the live crowd. This week will see Sonjay Dutt challenging Low Ki for the X-Division Title in an effort to shake away his moniker of the best X-Division wrestler to never win the title. Other than that the build to Slammiversary continues with less than three weeks to go. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Dutt vs. Low Ki with both guys taking their own path to get here. Low Ki doesn’t seem to mind where they are.

Sony Six Invitational Gauntlet

This is a ten man Royal Rumble with ninety second intervals and when there are two remaining, it’s a regular one on one match. The winner gets…..a trophy! Suicide is in at #1 and Matt Sydal is in at #2 as we hear about Josh Matthews having his first match in fifteen years tonight.

Sydal headscissors him into the ropes but Suicide is right back in to headbutt Matt down. A standoff goes nowhere and it’s Davey Richards in at #3. Davey takes Sydal down by the leg as we hear about Josh needing to get another Twitter account due to having too many followers. KM is in at #4 and there’s not much going on just a few minutes in. Suicide hangs in the ropes and low bridges KM to the apron. Swoggle is in at #5 as Davey dropkicks Suicide out. KM and Davey no sell some chops and KM shoves Swoggle down.

Eddie Edwards is in at #6 and is eliminated along with Davey in about ten seconds. Back from a break with Rockstar Spud having entered as #7 and getting beaten down by Swoggle. There are four people in the ring and no eliminations during the break so the clock is already way off. Spud drops Sydal and throws Swoggle into the corner, as the announcers try to make Spud into the heel in this whole thing. You know, the guy who was ASSAULTED WITH A HAMMER!

Kongo Kong is in at #8 and eliminated Sydal without too much effort. Spud is tossed as well and Moose is in at #9. Spud isn’t done though and helps get rid of Swoggle with the announcers saying we’re guaranteed to continue this feud. Moose lasts all of fifteen seconds but Mahabali Shera is in at #10 and his dad is in the front row.

Kong charges at Shera and gets low bridged out so the referee comes in for the regular match as we take a second break. Back again with KM stomping away in the corner as Davey/Angelina Love vs. Eddie Edwards/Alisha in Full Metal Mayhem at Slammiversary. KM gets two off a slingshot splash but Shera grabs an AA for a breather. The Sky High is enough to give Shera the pin at 24:56.

Rating: D-. This was nothing but filler and they weren’t even trying to hide it. If you want Shera to win in front of his home country that’s cool, but couldn’t you have him come in a bit earlier for the sake of some work and some drama? I have a bad feeling this is going to be the extent of what happens with the trophy and if they spent a fourth of a show on this one match….egads. On top of that the match was really boring with Spud vs. Swoggle as possibly the featured attraction before the ending.

Shera celebrates with his family and here are some Sony Six executives to present the trophy. Shera holds the trophy and looks close to crying.

Video on Dutt not being able to win the X-Division Title. Now he’s home and ready to fulfill his dream.

DeAngelo Williams (NFL free agent) will be in the ring at Slammiversary. We see a bit of his in-ring training in Canada.

We see Joseph Park and JB heading to a Kung Fu studio to train. It turns out that Park gets confused and they wind up at a Chinese food buffet with good kung pow chicken.

LAX is going to be in other promotions to make statements since they’re not allowed in India. So they’re taking the Hardys’ gimmick.

Here’s E-Singh-3 with a man in a suit. He talks about his family lineage dating back to his seventh great grandfather being a full blooded Indian. The main in the suit translates with Ethan talking about how he’s one of the people here. Ethan is here to destroy Indian culture and rips on the people even more but the translator won’t say it. Carter beats him up and whips him with a belt until James Storm comes in for the save.

Spud and Swoggle got in an argument at catering earlier today. This results in Spud being sent face first into his food and a chase. As I say every week, this isn’t funny and I can’t imagine a lot of people are interested.

Here’s Josh Matthews, looking like he weighs 114 pounds soaking wet with two bricks in his pocket, for a sparring session. Josh explains the tag match (in case you haven’t heard the concept in the last two and a half months) and hypes up his opponent as an Olympic wrestler, a Bollywood star and a cricket champion.

Josh Matthews vs. Sandik DeKhan

DeKhan is a rather rotund guy who is barely taller than the top rope. Josh armdrags him down but eats a dropkick. That earns Sandik a knee lift and Swanton Bomb (not bad actually), followed by a Steiner Recliner for the submission at 2:25.

Shera comes out post match for no apparent reason but Lashley runs in for the save. Why? Josh gets in another Recliner, which really shouldn’t hurt. Alberto El Patron runs in for the real save. That was one of the most illogical segments this company has run in a long time.

JB and Park train with action figures with Magnus taking JB’s place because he doesn’t have an action figure. They do however study Steiner’s math promo. Park: “How did this guy ever get over? His promos suck.” A highlight reel scares them but Park is ready to face their fears. Steiner calls them though and both guys panic.

Trevor Lee vs. Braxton Sutter

Lee jumps him from behind and Sutter is knocked to the floor in a heap. Back in and a deadlift German suplex gives Trevor two but he stops to yell at Allie. Back in and Sutter gets in a powerslam, followed by the fisherman’s neckbreaker for the pin at 2:08.

Post match Sienna and Laurel Van Ness come out to challenge Allie and Rosemary to a tag match next week.

Low Ki has hurt Dutt before and he’ll do it again.

The roster is ready for Slammiversary.

Here’s Moose for a chat but Eli Drake and Christopher Adonis come out to interrupt in a hurry. Drake calls everyone dummies and claims to have been ripped off in their title match. Moose wants to fight them both at Slammiversary but the double beatdown is on now. Not that it matters as Moose clears the ring without too much effort. Moose promises to deliver a partner next week. You know, because it’s so hard to figure out.

JB and Park answer Steiner’s call so he can yell a lot. I can barely understand him because it’s over a phone but corn on the cob is mentioned. JB offers to call the match off but Steiner threatens violence. Park and JB run off instead, leaving Steiner to yell even more.

X-Division Title: Sonjay Dutt vs. Low Ki

Dutt is challenging and still has his eyepatch on. A hard body shot puts Dutt down because he couldn’t see it coming thanks to the bad eye. The patch is pulled off and Dutt snaps off a hurricanrana into an armdrag. A dropkick sends Dutt to the floor and they fight into the crowd where Dutt has to escape a Ki Crusher.

Sonjay mostly misses a moonsault off the barricade but what looked to be Sliced Bread #2 is countered with a drop onto the steps. Back from a break with Low Ki stomping away and grabbing something like an abdominal stretch/Octopus Hold hybrid. Dutt fights out and Low Ki takes off the jacket, earning himself a great looking superplex.

Low Ki breaks up a sunset flip and snaps off a standing double stomp for two. A tornado DDT drops the champ (who has a bloody eye) and a top rope splash gives Dutt the title at 16:28. The commentary was rather horrible there as they barely reacted to either the setup or the title change.

Rating: B. Well that was sudden. There wasn’t exactly much of a build to the finish but at least they went with exactly what they should have done. This was the biggest layup of the entire taping cycle and they did exactly what they should have done without trying for some kind of a screwy finish.

Some wrestlers come out to celebrate with Dutt, including Shera putting him on his shoulders to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Before I get into this, let me make it clear that the main event was a completely separate part of the show and isn’t included in the following criticisms. That last match was exactly what it should have been and aside from a pretty weak ending, I had no complains about it.

As for the rest of the show though, it was nothing short of a disaster and one of the worst things this company has ever done (and consider all that covers). The opener was long and awful, the second match was there to further one of the worst angles I can remember in a long time and the third match was barely anything. Couple that with not very funny “training” segments for a ring announcer and a comedy character plus the excruciatingly not funny Swoggle vs. Spud feud and this was one of the most awful shows I’ve ever seen them do.

The World Title feud has taken a huge backseat to the “comedy” angles (though I think the announcers’ feud is supposed to be at least somewhat serious), mainly because they barely have a reason to be fighting. Yeah they have that one match two and a half months ago but neither Alberto nor Lashley have the character depth to pull off something very interesting. They’re both skilled performers and perfectly acceptable from bell to bell but their characters are basically confined to “I’m a good wrestler”. When you barely have a single segment in the ring per week, there’s not much you can do to build a match.

The problem here boils down to the writing not being very good. I know they’ve had Dixie to blame over the years but we’re two and a half months into the new leadership team and it’s some of the weakest TV I can remember them doing in a very long time. There’s basically no midcard out of Moose vs. Eli Drake (a feud which is coming up on a celebrity tag match instead of fighting for Moose’s title) and the Tag Team Champions (who have two titles each) aren’t even on TV at the moment due to whatever reason.

Instead we’re getting a focus on Spud vs. Swoggle over seeing Swoggle’s underwear while the top feud is battling announcers plus a lawyer and a crazy man who arguably hit his in-ring peak 26 years ago. That’s the new Impact Wrestling and if this is what they’re setting up for Slammiversary, Bound For Glory might be the scariest thing I’ve ever seen.

Results

Mahabali Shera won the Sony Six Invitational Gauntlet

Josh Matthews b. Sandik DeKhan – Steiner Recliner

Braxton Sutter b. Trevor Lee – Fisherman’s neckbreaker

Sonjay Dutt b. Low Ki – Top rope splash

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling – December 8, 2016: The Last Normal One

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 8, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s the last regular show of the year as next week will be Total Nonstop Deletion because it’s a good idea to give the Hardys their own show. The big story this week is the World Title on the line as Eddie Edwards defends against Ethan Carter III. You can almost guarantee a screwy finish of some kind as TNA loves leaving us hanging. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the World Title match with both guys seeming to have a lot of respect for each other.

Here’s new Grand Champion Moose for an opening chat. We get the YOU DESERVE IT chant, which is really starting to lose meaning. The guy has been around less than six months and has only been wrestling on the big stage for less than two years. Anyway, Moose promises to be a fighting champion but here’s Drew Galloway to interrupt.

Drew says the title was built for him and now he could have a match of the year against someone like Moose. The fight is about to begin but here’s Aron Rex (now clean shaven) to interrupt. Rex says three seconds isn’t enough time for a match and threatens to sue the fans for, and I feel stupid for saying this, Rexual Harassment. He’ll have his rematch right now.

Grand Championship: Moose vs. Aron Rex

Rex is challenging and wastes no time with the loaded up punch, which knocks Moose out on the floor. Back in and Rex can only get two so we hit the chinlock. Moose makes a quick comeback to end the round but Rex still takes the first. Rex uses his evil towel to blind Moose to start the second and it’s ANOTHER chinlock. The Wind-Up Elbow gets two on the champ and more elbows give Rex the second round. Round three begins with Rex hammering away again, only to get dropkicked off the top. The Game Changer retains the title at 7:36 total.

Rating: D+. I really cannot stand this gimmick. It’s TNA trying to be creative and while it’s something new, that doesn’t mean it’s interesting. The problem here is you could take away the rounds and the match would be exactly the same. Just have Rex cheat to win any regular title and it’s the same thing. That’s a major problem but TNA just keeps running with this thing.

Eddie says he’s ready.

Galloway rants about TNA not holding the tournament for him.

Aiden O’Shea vs. Mandrews

O’Shea goes for a slam but the much smaller Mandrews falls on him to take over. Aiden’s big forearm hits the apron by mistake and now he’s ticked off. The shirt comes off and the slow beating begins, only to have Mandrews send him outside. That means a big flip dive as I’m wondering why I’m supposed to boo this guy. A springboard seated senton sets up a shooting star press to end O’Shea at 5:48.

Rating: C-. So……he’s one of the least interesting wrestlers in the division, he’s turned heel, and now he wins a match that by definition is about making someone look like a face? Normally I would attribute this to a weird taping situation where Mandrews’ turn was taped after this but, since it’s TNA, it’s just weird booking as this took place after the turn.

Mahabali Shera/Al Snow vs. Tribunal

Indian strap match, meaning they’re bound at the wrists by straps and you win by touching all six corners. They brawl on the floor to start until the wrists are strapped, meaning the Tribunal can start choking. Snow’s comeback is cut off but it’s too early to touch the buckles. Low blows and straps to the back have the Tribunal down and a double low bridging allows Snow and Shera to win at 5:19.

Rating: D-. Whatever man. I’ve been sick of this feud since the second it began and this isn’t getting any better. Hopefully this blows it off and we can go on to anything else because I have no idea why it would keep going. No one involved is interesting and no one involved is being elevated but it keeps going anyway. Such is life in TNA.

We see Matt Hardy asleep with the Seven Deities telling him about something called Apocalypto.

Ethan is ready for the title match and makes fun of Eli Drake for not being able to talk.

Here are the Hardys to talk about Tag Team Apocalypto next week. Matt says the match will be so big that Mc-Mahon or Hayman couldn’t promote it. There will be regular stars of the Impact Wrestling roster and even King Maxill will make his debut. The Tag Team Titles will be on the line in an open challenge to any tag team in the history of space and time.

Cue Shane Helms (He still works here?) to say he’ll be there. Matt can’t wait to see 3 Count or the superheroes back in action. Helms is actually bringing the Helms Dynasty and promises to be there. Cue Decay to say they’ll top the Great War when they appear as well. Helms takes a Twist of Fate.

After a break, DCC says they’ll be in North Carolina next week too.

Laurel Van Ness vs. Allie

Madison Rayne is on commentary. Before the match, Maria laughs at Allie for pretending to be a wrestler. Allie says she’s been training with Braxton Sutter, which freaks Laurel out. Sutter comes out to watch from ringside as Laurel starts beating Allie up. Allie gets in a suplex as Sutter and Mike Bennett fight to the back. With the men gone, Laurel misses a charge in the corner and a reverse DDT puts her away at 5:11.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing but the story was all it needed to be. Allie is one of the most over people on the roster and seeing her beat up Maria and company is the best idea possible. It’s also very helpful that she’s a trained wrestler so we don’t have to sit through months of her learning how to do things. Sutter vs. Bennett could be good too.

Maria tries to get in and is shoved right back down.

Video on Carter vs. Edwards.

Allie is all happy and kisses Sutter in celebration.

Total Nonstop Deletion ad.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Eddie Edwards

Eddie is defending and they trade armbars to start. A running knee lift cuts Eddie off and sends him to the floor as they’re definitely taking their time here. Ethan gets two off a knee drop and we take a break. Back with Carter getting two off a suplex and we’re off to a chinlock.

That goes nowhere so Eddie hits a top rope hurricanrana to very little reaction from the audience. They chop it out until Ethan is knocked outside for the suicide dive. Eddie’s rollup is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two but the TK3 doesn’t work. Back up and the champ gets crotched on the ropes for the superplex into a small package near fall.

Carter speeds things up until the Boston Knee Party sends him outside. The TK3 connects on the floor but Carter still can’t put him away. The Backpack Stunner is countered into Ethan’s rear naked choke, only to have Eddie roll onto his back. It’s a double finish as Eddie taps at the same time as the three count at 20:35.

Rating: B. The match was good but, as usual, it felt like they were just doing moves until we got to the ending. The near falls helped a lot and I buy them as equals but the ending felt a bit forced. It’s a good main event but really not enough to save the show, which wasn’t the best leading up to this.

The match is ruled a no contest so Eddie retains. Replays show that Carter’s shoulder was up at two anyway but it’s not acknowledged. I’m guessing Carter goes heel after this.

Overall Rating: C-. That main event helped a lot but there’s almost no way to save this show. Maybe they were just spent at the end of the marathon tapings or maybe TNA just isn’t capable of putting on quality TV (there’s a shocker) but so much of this show feels like a waste of time.

I can’t count how many things on here just exist with no emotional connection. When you have a gimmick match that doesn’t work, a pretty worthless big vs. little match, that stupid, stupid Snow/Shera match and a mostly bad women’s match, a good main event just isn’t enough. The show isn’t the worst in the world and is watchable at times but it’s not interesting and that’s a much bigger problem.

Results

Moose b. Aron Rex – Game Changer

Mandrews b. Aiden O’Shea – Shooting star press

Al Snow/Mahabali Shera b. Tribunal – Snow and Shera touched all six buckles

Allie b. Laurel Van Ness – Reverse DDT

Eddie Edwards vs. Ethan Carter III went to a no contest with a double finish

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – November 17, 2016: The New New Divide

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 17, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

The big story coming out of last week’s show is the unmasking of the DCC, which revealed James Storm, Bram and the yet to be named Eddie Kingston to be behind the recent attacks. The group has targeted Eddie Edwards and the Hardys, meaning we might be seeing the some combination of the three fighting the DCC tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s show ending beatdown.

Here’s Eddie Edwards for an opening chat. Eddie is a nice guy but he knows he has a target on his back. He’ll get right to it: he’s not leaving this ring until he gets to fight a member of the DCC. Cue all three of them though and the beatdown is quickly on with Eddie Kingston finally being officially referred to as…..Kingston. Jeff Hardy comes out for the save and cleans house.

After a break, Eddie and Jeff go in to see the boss (meaning Billy Corgan, who isn’t named here) but Aiden O’Shea won’t allow the cameras follow them in.

Jesse Godderz vs. Aron Rex

Non-title and pinfall or submission only, making this a glorified street fight. Jesse doesn’t waste any time and knocks Rex straight into the corner before trying an early Adonis Lock. That earns him a rake to the eyes and a chinlock because Rex is the kind of heel who uses a chinlock two minutes into a match. Rex takes it outside and sends Jesse into the barricade, followed by yet another chinlock. That steams Jesse’s hair so he sends Aron outside and then hammers away back inside. The Adonis Lock makes Rex tap at 7:53.

Rating: D+. The story here is solid enough but that really doesn’t make it interesting, which is mainly due to Rex. He won a title in a competition that didn’t work well in the first place and now he’s a heel just because, which puts him in a feud that keeps going against Godderz. Not terrible here but I have no interest in watching these two again.

Laurel Van Ness is texting Braxton Sutter, much to Allie’s annoyance. Maria comes up and laughs at Allie for thinking Brandi Rhodes wants to be her partner.

Due to the attack last week, Gail Kim is forced to vacate the Knockouts Title.

Hardy and Edwards get to face the DCC in an anything goes handicap match tonight.

Sienna/Laurel Van Ness vs. Brandi Rhodes/???

The villains seem to be called the Lady Squad. Better than Ladyballs I guess. Maria laughs at the idea that no one wants to be Brandi’s partner but Rhodes has a surprise: Madison Rayne. Madison and Sienna get things going with some forearms putting Sienna in trouble. It only takes some choking to get her back in control though, followed by Laurel choking with her boot in the corner.

A snap suplex gets two for Laurel but a missed charge allows Madison to make the hot tag to Brandi. Unfortunately that leaves Brandi to clean house and she’s just not ready to do that. Madison and Laurel fight outside and a bad looking Downward Spiral puts Sienna away at 6:01.

Rating: D. Brandi is in a weird place here as she’s being pushed as a big deal but just isn’t capable of hanging at that level in the ring yet. That being said, she’s had all of three matches and there’s definitely a natural charisma there. I don’t know if she’ll be in the ring long term but she’s trying. Unfortunately she’s trying on a stage she’s not ready for yet and that’s making things look bad.

Matt Hardy, still sane, doesn’t understand why he would give the trick or treaters green beans. Reby tells him to go back to the Impact Zone to save his brother but Matt would rather delete e-mails, including the Young Bucks newsletter. He mentions unsubscribing and the Scribe appears….but only Matt can see him. Reby wants him to get help.

Trevor Lee vs. Ethan Carter III vs. Lashley vs. Mike Bennett

One fall to a finish, no tags and the winner gets a title shot at some point in the future. It’s a big brawl to start with Lashley getting the better of it by suplexing Bennett and throwing Lee over the down and down onto Ethan. Back from a break with Trevor getting in some kicks to everyone’s face as Josh plugs the Wolf Creek season finale. Bennett and Lee seem to form a quick alliance but as is so often the case, it breaks down as soon as one of them wants the pin.

The fans want someone to kill the troll as Carter takes some shoulders in the corner. Ethan comes right back and loads up a double 1%er, only to get speared in half by Lashley. A cutter drops Lashley and a deadlift German suplex gives Lee two on Carter. Bennett starts snapping off superkicks and spinebusters, only to have Lashley give him the real spinebuster. Lee suplexes Lashley to block the spear (sweet counter) and dives over the top to take out Carter and Lashley. Back in and Carter grabs a sleeper to make Lee tap at 14:07.

Rating: C+. This was getting fun but at the same time it’s getting a bit tiresome to have Lashley and Carter rotating into the #1 contenders spot over and over and over. You know they’re going to get their title shots at some point so just let them have it later and try someone else in those spots for a change.

Reby and Matt look at some Broken Matt videos and Matt is terrified of the chaos.

It’s time for Fact of Life with Eli Drake asking Ethan to come out here and be his guest. Drake gets right to the point: he wants one more match with Carter with that title shot on the line. Ethan wisely says no but Drake sweetens the pot by saying he won’t challenge for the title for one year if he loses. That’s not cool with Ethan, who wants people like Eli chasing him near the top of the ladder. However, he also wants one more fight with Drake so let’s do it next week. If Drake wins, he gets the title shot but if he loses, he can’t speak for the rest of the year. That’s good enough for Drake and the deal is made.

Decay threatens Jade with destruction at the hands of Rosemary.

Basile Baraka vs. Mahabali Shera

This feud just won’t go away. Baraka takes him down and chokes with the boot as Josh goes into a way over the top plug for a new sitcom at Pop. Shera gets tired of the trash talk and gets in a powerslam but a camel clutch is countered into a rollup for two. Another slam sets up another camel clutch to make Baraka tap at 4:05.

Rating: D. Why is this still a thing? I know they need to fill in time but is this really the best they have? Or is Shera just there to keep the Sony Six people happy? Neither guy is interesting and the Tribunal, which could have been at least something, has turned into one of the least interesting acts in a long time.

Post match the Tribunal beats Shera down until Al Snow makes the save. Josh: “AL SNOW IS TRENDING WORLDWIDE ON TWITTER RIGHT NOW!” Does Josh know that trending on Twitter is a real thing and not just a random statement? Snow and Shera shake hands, which Josh calls the Mega Powers uniting. He might be the greatest troll announcer ever and I doubt he has any idea of it.

Rosemary is creepy to Jade and it’s announced that their Knockouts Title match will be inside a cage.

Eddie Edwards/Jeff Hardy vs. DCC

Handicap match and anything goes. Jeff is just normal Jeff Hardy here and gets in an early Twist of Fate on Bram. It’s too early for the Swanton though as the rest of the DCC pulls Bram outside, leaving Jeff to dive on all three of them. Eddie gets in a few shots on Storm as we take a break. Back with the DCC in control until Jeff hits Storm in the back with a few chair shots. Kingston is sent through two open chairs in the ring but Bram comes in for the save. The Brighter Side of Suffering through a table plants Edwards, allowing Storm to superkick Jeff for the pin at 13:43.

Rating: C. Not bad here but, as is always the case, TNA doesn’t know how to wait on something. It’s fairly clear that Matt is going to be the big savior for TNA and the six man will result in Final Deletion XIX or so. That should be entertaining, but would it kill TNA to wait a little longer before doing these big matches?

Overall Rating: C-. Impact really is cut in half at this point as the top half of the show is going really well but there’s such a big gap further down the card. It’s kind of hard to go from a “dream” tag team vs. the TNA Wyatts to Snow/Shera vs. the Tribunal. I’m having a little more fun watching Impact lately but, as usual, I have no reason to believe it’s going to last.

Results

Jesse Godderz b. Aron Rex – Adonis Lock

Brandi Rhodes/Madison Rayne b. Sienna/Laurel Van Ness – Downward Spiral to Sienna

Ethan Carter III b. Lashley, Trevor Lee and Mike Bennett – Sleeper to Lee

Mahabali Shera b. Basile Baraka – Camel clutch

DCC b. Eddie Edwards/Jeff Hardy – Last Call to Hardy

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – October 20, 2016: I Think We Have A Bad Connection

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 20, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

The main event scene has picked up in the last week as we have what seems to be a four way feud between Lashley, Cody, Moose and World Champion Eddie Edwards. Other than that there’s the start of the Hardys vs. the Tribunal and more of Maria Kanellis-Bennett and company vs. Gail Kim over the Knockouts Title. Let’s get to it.

We look at the end of last week’s show with Moose beating Carter to earn a shot against Lashley for a future title shot and Maria losing her rematch against Kim, meaning she’s out of power in the Knockouts division. As for tonight, Cody is ready to take the World Title from Eddie Edwards.

Here’s Cody to open things up. He’s a fan of country music and a song has been making him think about why he left his former employer. It wasn’t because of the money but because of the moments. Tonight he gets one of those moments when he has a chance to win the World Title. When he was fifteen he told his dad he wanted to be a wrestler. Dusty wasn’t sure but he gave his blessing, but only if Cody was the best. That means becoming World Champion so here’s Eddie to interrupt.

Eddie praises Cody for his career and says Cody has reinvented himself over and over. When Eddie is in the ring taking beating after beating, he knows who he is because of the Wolves Nation. The question is does Cody know who he is. Cody lists off parts of various characters he’s had over the years before getting in Eddie’s face. This brings out Lashley, who says the future is him hurting one of the two people in the ring. Cue Moose and our first match is after the break.

Moose vs. Lashley

The winner gets a title shot at some point in the future. They immediately start slugging away but Lashley’s suplex is no sold. The Moose punches send Lashley outside, only to have him send Moose into the post. Back in and Moose gets thrown around again but he dropkicks Lashley off the top. A very big running dive is nearly left short but is still good enough to take Lashley out.

They trade spinebusters for two each (Moose’s looked way off) before Moose no sells a superplex (that’s Lashley’s third vertical suplex in about five minutes). A spear each gives both guys another near fall. Moose’s discus lariat gets two more but the chokebomb is broken up, allowing Lashley to hit the middle rope spear for the pin at 7:35.

Rating: C+. I really wouldn’t go out of my way to point out how similar Lashley and Moose’s offenses are like they did here. On top of that, they’re really going to have Moose lose clean this soon? I mean, it’s fairly clear that he and Lashley have very similar styles (give the whole trading moves here) so they’re going to stick with the same guy that has been in the main event for well over a year now and not exactly set the world on fire? Oh yeah: this is TNA.

The Tribunal talks about wanting respect but the feed cuts out to hear from the three masked men. Chaos arrives tonight.

Tyrus ad.

Here’s Fact of Life with Eli Drake. Eli is Bound For Gold and rips on the crowd a bit, which responds with a laugh track. The guest this week is Aron Rex and the “audience” isn’t thrilled. Rex loves the title and what it means so he calls it sweetheart. Drake talks his usual trash so Rex goes through various champions who don’t talk trash.

Since Rex beat Edwards for the Grand Championship, that makes him the man around here. Rex says none of them have anything on the man who is Bound For Gold. This brings Rex around to Ethan Carter III, who Drake says is bound for the dumpster. Cue Carter but Drake sends it to a break, complete with a TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES DUMMIES graphic. This segment gets better and better every week.

Back with Carter in the ring and calling Eli out for a fight. He wants to destroy that set but wants Eli to press the button so he can punch Drake (YEAH!), kick Drake (YEAH!) or choke Drake (YEAH!). Eli pushes the button over and over so Carter dives on the security and the fight is on. Rex tries to break it up but Jesse Godderz (who Rex insulted during his interview) comes out to go after Aron. Security breaks it up.

Here are the Hardys to do their catchphrases and accuse the Tribunal of trying to take food off King Maxel’s plate. Thankfully the Tribunal cuts off the DELETE chants.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Tribunal

Hardys are defending and it’s another brawl to start with the champs taking over early on. The announcers talk about the Best of Sting DVD being back in stock, which is one of the first merchandise plugs I’ve heard in a LONG time. Dax gets in a few shots on Matt but it’s quickly off to Jeff for some forearms to the head. Jeff is quickly taken down into the challengers’ corner but WAIT! We have to pause the match because Josh has an update on a new Pop television event! I could live with those a lot better if Josh knew anything about making a transition.

A legsweep gets Jeff out of trouble and it’s off to Matt for a bunch of biting. Did the Hardys ever have a face turn moment and I missed it? Or am I just supposed to cheer for them because the schmucks in the Impact Zone do? Not that it matters as we’re getting the Hardys whether we like them or not because they’re stars or something. Matt hits a quick Side Effect but gets caught in a double spinebuster for two. Back to back Twists of Fate end Baraka at 7:49.

Rating: B-. This was every bit of the tag team formula and it actually worked well. The Hardys can still do a basic match very well but that doesn’t mean I want two Hardy themed specials airing at Christmastime. That’s one of TNA’s major issues: they have no idea when to slow down on something.

Post match the three masked men appear and lay out the Tribunal. So we have masked men who appear after a series of weird visuals and attack people. And the response from the TNA fans who got annoyed at Final Deletion being copied will be……?

Allie is getting ready to stand up to Maria when Braxton Sutter comes up. That goes nowhere as Laurel Van Ness comes in to say Maria has something to say to Allie. Laurel hits on Braxton a bit too.

The masked men say no one is safe because they’re here to stay.

Lashley talks to Cody about destroying various saviors. Cody doesn’t think the good luck wishes are genuine and says it’s not bragging if you can back it up. Lashley says their paths will cross sooner or later.

We look back at the end of Gail vs. Maria from last week.

Here are Maria, Allie and Laurel with something to say but their entrance is drowned out by Josh going on and on about the reign of terror being over. Maria may not be in charge anymore but she’s still the greatest Knockout of all time. Of all the people she can blame though, it’s all Allie’s fault. Maria demands an apology but Allie finally stands up to her and says Maria is the one to blame. The beatdown is on and Allie is left laying with Maria saying it’s Allie vs. Laurel next week.

Lashley tries to play mind games with Eddie but the champ isn’t buying it.

Tyrus tells Mahabali Shera to not dance because he’s going to fight tonight.

Ethan Carter III and Jesse Godderz want to face Aron Rex and Eli Drake next week.

Mahabali Shera vs. Mike Bennett

Bennett’s music is restored this week. Shera poses to start so Mike knocks him into the corner, only to have his chops no sold. Bennett sends him into the corner and beats on Shera for a bit, only to get caught with slams and a bearhug. Since this isn’t 1984, none of that has any effect and Bennett rakes the eyes to set up the MIP for the pin at 2:57.

Video on Eddie vs. Cody.

DJZ says himself, Mandrews and Braxton Sutter are the beat Team X Gold team around. Cue Rockstar Spud (who gets a TATER TOT chant) to ask why he hasn’t been asked to participate. DJZ: “Nobody likes you.” Spud says he has his own team who will be here next week and they’re better than X, Y and Z. Do they really think they have room for Trios Titles around here? That’s what they think is the best use of their time?

TNA World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Cody

Cody is challenging and has Brandi Rhodes in his corner. Feeling out process to start and a double dropkick gives us a standoff. Back from a break with Cody getting kicked down to the mat, only to have him chop Eddie into an armbar. Eddie fights up again but eats the Beautiful Disaster, followed by a springboard dive to the floor.

A slam on the ramp sets up a modified Muscle Buster on the champ for another near fall and Cody is getting frustrated. The champ is loaded up for a superplex but reverses into a small package (looked horrible as Cody was laying on the mat and then raised up to get to the pin) to retain at 13:05.

Rating: C+. This was fine but it’s just another title match being handed to an ex-WWE guy who hasn’t proven a thing in this company yet. At least Rex had to win a tournament to get his title. Cody on the other hand was literally handed a World Title match the day he arrived and that’s not a good look for TNA.

They shake hands and Eddie lets Cody pose (Why? He hasn’t actually done anything yet.), allowing Maria to come out and attack Brandi as the show ends.

Overall Rating: C. Horribly choreographed ending aside, this was a mostly watchable show. However, there’s a big problem that TNA has had for a very long time now and this week showcased it more than they’ve done in a long time: there’s no one to connect with for most fans. Here are some of the characters on this show:

A MMA/professional wrestler

A former NFL player

The freakshow with magical powers

A loudmouth with a model wife who was treated like a huge deal on arrival

A guy who likes to dance and hired a fixer to do his fighting for him

The son of a legend who was literally given a World Title shot without winning a single match

There are a few relatable characters (Allie, maybe Eddie) but they’re very few and far between. They might do cool stuff every now and then and the wrestling can be good but the characters aren’t people I’m going to have a connection with. Look at Daniel Bryan: the everyman held down by the system who kept fighting until he won. It’s something people can connect to, which isn’t the case in TNA the majority of the time. Give us someone we care about instead of someone fun to watch. It can make a world of difference.

Results

Lashley b. Moose – Middle rope spear

Hardys b. Tribunal – Twist of Fate to Baraka

Mike Bennett b. Mahabali Shera – MIP

Eddie Edwards b. Cody – Small package

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – September 15, 2016: They’re Losing Me

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 15, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Things are starting to pick up with just three weeks to go before Bound For Glory. Last week saw more build towards Lashley vs. Ethan Carter III and the announcement of a tournament for the inaugural TNA Grand Championship. Of course none of that matters compared to Final Deletion II. Let’s get to it.

We open with Matt Hardy talking about everything that happened last week in Final Deletion II. Senor Benjamin has been kidnapped and Jeff is badly injured so Matt puts him into the Lake of Reincarnation. Jeff is thrown into the water and comes out as the Immortal Jeff, complete with belt, from 2010. Matt shouts NEVER and throws him back in to have him come back out as the Jeff he’s been in recent weeks. Next up: Matt has to go find Vanguard I. So the big answer to what happened to Jeff last week: eh forget it.

Here’s Lashley for an in ring chat with Jeremy Borash. Lashley says this is going to be the year that he dominates wrestling because no one else in any promotion is as dominant as he is. Since he beat up EC3 last week, he needs an opponent for Bound For Glory. It might as well be JB because it would be just as dominant either way. This brings out Grado, who says JB is a much bigger joke than he’ll ever be. Grado calls Lashley a coward and it’s a quick beatdown capped off by a spear. Another callout brings Moose to the ring and the champ is actually knocked out to the floor. Moose issues what sounds like a challenge.

Aron Rex says Drew Galloway has been handed all kinds of opportunities while he’s had to take everything he can get. Rex promises to see Drew soon.

Lashley says he’ll make Moose famous but not tonight.

Grand Championship Title Tournament First Round: Trevor Lee vs. Aron Rex

Three rounds of three minutes each. They trade headlocks to start until Rex is sent out to the floor. A big boot sets up a chinlock as I keep trying to figure out why they turn the lights down for these matches. Rex fights up with some clotheslines for some last second points to end the round because Heaven forbid Rex goes full speed ahead the full match. Rex somehow wins the first round so Lee forearms him for two to start the second round. That earns him a Russian legsweep and Wind-Up Elbow, followed by a running discus punch to pin Lee at 5:33.

Rating: D+. I still don’t like this concept and this didn’t do it any favors. Ignoring the MMA feel the matches have (why they think wrestling fans want to see MMA still isn’t clear), I don’t like the flurry of offense at the end of the rounds. If they can do that at the sound of the ten second warning (another non-wrestling thing), why can’t they fight up the rest of the time?

Maria is going to hold Gail Kim’s Hall of Fame ceremony tonight so it doesn’t overshadow the Knockouts Title match at Bound For Glory.

Matt finds the destroyed Vanguard I and cries at its death…..but it’s reincarnated as well so never mind.

Here are Allie and Maria to hold Gail’s Hall of Fame induction. Maria is tired of no one talking about her title win because everyone is talking about Gail Kim. We see a highlight video of Maria beating Gail up and Maria does Gail’s speech for her. The official gift is a picture of Maria with the title but Allie has her own present for the best female wrestler ever.

Maria freaks out again and stomps on whatever the present is but here’s Dixie Carter. Dixie says Maria has a conflict of interests and no longer has any authority. Gail never lost the title (yes she did) so she’s going to be in the Knockout gauntlet tonight to crown a new #1 contender.

Braxton Sutter vs. Rockstar Spud

This is an empty arena with all turnbuckles exposed “for the safety of the fans”. Apparently Sutter hit Spud in the face and the injury made him require braces. Spud jumps him on the ramp and the fight is on. Josh: “The arena is empty because there are no fans in it.” It’s not even a match as they just beat each other around the empty arena and throw each other into metal objects. Spud kicks him low and they finally get in the ring with Sutter kicking him low to retaliate. A few whips into the buckle sets up a ram into the buckle to give Sutter the pin at 5:13.

Rating: D. To recap: this show has had a UFC style fight, an empty arena match and Matt Hardy resurrecting a drone. Oh and Gail Kim, who is A WRESTLER. They’re really not making this easy to sit through and Matthews telling me that the arena is empty because there are no fans in it was the icing on all this. Would it kill them to let these two have a regular match and then set up the gimmick version? Ah right: TNA is EVOLVING THE BUSINESS, which means doing stuff that was done in Memphis over thirty years ago and hoping people don’t remember it.

And now, here’s more Matt Hardy, who sends Vanguard I to find Senor Benjamin in a barn. Matt tells Benjamin to stockpile more weapons than ever because a great war is coming at Bound For Glory. THEY’RE ALREADY DOING FINAL DELETION III??????

Recap of last week’s Final Deletion.

Here’s House Hardy (the new name for the group) to challenge Decay. The champs appear in the crowd and say that Maxill deserves a better home. The Hardys are offered their own decay so Jeff promises to delete them for good at Bound For Glory. Fans: “OBSOLETE! OBSOLETE!” Matt wants to fight them in the insanity of the Great War and Rosemary accepts so Maxill can join his real family. The fight is on and House Hardy stands tall.

Mike Bennett tries to get in Lashley’s head about Moose.

Knockouts Gauntlet

This is basically a Royal Rumble with over the top eliminations but it turns into a regular match with pins or submissions when they get down to two. Jade is in at #1 and Allie is in at #2 but Maria says not so fast because she’s found someone better. Instead, a newcomer named Laurel Van Ness (indy wrestler Chelsea Green) is in at #2. Jade kicks away to start until Sienna is in at #3.

We get a double teaming on Jade until Gail Kim is in at #4. The minute intervals continue with Marti Bell coming in at #5. The heels keep control until Raquel is in at #6. There’s almost nothing going on in between these entrances. Madison Rayne rounds out the field at #7 and we’re not even six minutes into the match. I’m sure just a regular battle royal was out of the question.

Back from a break with no eliminations but Madison is knocked out in a hurry. Jade is kicked out as well but stays around at ringside. Marti gets sent over the top and is caught by Jade, who rams her into the post and then drops her to the mat for the elimination. Allie screws up AGAIN and causes Van Ness to be eliminated as well. The referee comes in as we’re down to Sienna vs. Gail. A sunset flip gets two for Gail before Eat Defeat sends her to Bound For Glory at 14:13. The one on one part wasn’t even two minutes long.

Rating: D. Not only is the entire division save for the non-wrestler champion involved in one match but HEY LOOK IT’S GAIL KIM! I still don’t know why I’m supposed to be interested over Gail Kim getting all fired up to fight Maria in what is likely going to be a squash because Maria is barely a wrestler. The division is almost nothing anymore and so much of that is due to Gail being put so far ahead of anyone else. Why should I be interested in anyone when Gail is just going to take the title back a few months later? This isn’t Memphis and Gail isn’t Jerry Lawler but TNA thinks she should get the title as many times.

Grand Championship Title Tournament First Round: Eddie Edwards vs. Mahabali Shera

Neither gets an entrance. Feeling out process to start with Eddie firing off chops and sending Shera to the floor for a suicide dive. Back in and the Boston Knee Party gets two (that move might have set a record for fastest time being turned into nothing) and the first round ends.

Eddie wins the first round in a clean sweep so Shera stomps away in the corner to start round two. Some miscommunication gives us an awkward looking sequence in the corner with Shera just stopping in front of Eddie. An over the shoulder rib breaker gets two on Eddie and Shera throws him into the air for a big crash. They fight over a suplex to end round two, which goes to Shera in a split decision despite Eddie not hitting anything. Eddie is aggressive to start the third round and kicks Shera in the ribs, setting up a half crab for the submission at 8:45.

Rating: C. This actually had some time to set something up but the short time limit and the scoring system is still rubbing me the wrong way. Shera is pretty clearly just there to appeal to the India market but that doesn’t mean he’s a good idea for the American fans. The guy really isn’t interesting and it’s getting worse every week.

Lashley and Moose come to the ring for the closing segment with Lashley offering Moose the title shot at Bound For Glory. Moose seems to agree but doesn’t want to wait that long. Moose beats him up around the ring until Lashley gets in a few shoulders in the corner. Mike Bennett comes out for the double team on Moose but Ethan Carter III runs out for the show closing brawl. Matthews: “EC3 IS BACK!” HE WAS HERE LAST WEEK YOU STUPID STUPID MAN!

Overall Rating: D. This show got a little bit better after Slammiversary but it’s right back to doing the same things that drove me crazy before. Above all else though, it’s the Hardys. A few months ago they did Final Deletion and it was entertaining and different. Then last week they did Final Deletion II and it was a lot of the same stuff with more people involved. Now we’re getting the third one in two and a half weeks and I’m finding it really hard to care about, especially when that’s the top story. Matt and Jeff got more time than anything else tonight, save for maybe the Knockouts match which was all about Gail.

The first half of this show was awful in all kinds of new ways. We had another MMA knockoff match, an empty arena match for whatever stupid reason TNA can come up with this time and more Matt and Jeff zaniness with Matt basically erasing everything that happened last week. More than once tonight I looked at my TV and asked what I was watching. That happens every now and then with most wrestling shows but with TNA it’s every few segments.

I know Corgan is all about new ideas and thinking, but TNA needs to remember that it’s a wrestling company and stop trying all these wacky ideas to force people to care about them again. Yeah Matt being all insane and saying things that people quote online a lot is amusing but it’s rapidly running out of steam. Bound For Glory is coming up in a few weeks and I’m really not looking forward to it. Maybe TNA is passing me by or something but most of the time it’s not entertaining me. They have a talented roster and I like watching their regular matches but those are getting less and less frequent and that’s not good.

Results

Aron Rex b. Trevor Lee – Running discus punch

Braxton Sutter b. Rockstar Spud – Ram into the exposed turnbuckle

Gail Kim won a gauntlet match last eliminating Sienna – Eat Defeat

Eddie Edwards b. Mahabali Shera – Half crab

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – August 4, 2016: Less Hardy, More Happy

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 4, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

This should be interesting as the taping schedule changes has reared its head again. Bound For Glory 2016 was originally scheduled for early September but since WWE has added a show on the same night, Bound For Glory has been moved forward a month. As a result, tonight’s Bound For Glory Playoff final is going to set up a two month build towards the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Bound For Glory Playoff.

Last week Drew Galloway was livid at Ethan Carter III and would say what he’s going to do to him but this video would be used as evidence.

Mike Bennett and Ethan are in the ring for a face to face chat before their match tonight. Bennett brings up Ethan hiding behind his aunt but Ethan says Mike isn’t fighting Aunt D. tonight. Mike didn’t need Ethan to come out there with a kendo stick last week because he could beat Galloway on his own.

The two of them are here to do this forever and Mike has already beaten the unbeatable and he knows he can do it again. No matter what Ethan can do, he’ll always be second best because Bennett is just flat out better. Bennett says he’s ready no matter what and here’s Moose for some intimidation. The beating is on and Carter is planted with a Sky High. Carter and Bennett just have mad chemistry together.

Eli Drake is ready to make James Storm cry in his beer.

We get another clip of Rosemary going insane and trying to get Bram to go to the barn.

King of the Mountain Title: Eli Drake vs. James Storm

Storm is challenging and has to give up beer, his music and basically his entire gimmick if he loses. In other words, Storm will be deleted, finally. It’s a brawl in the aisle to start with Drake taking him into the ring for a neckbreaker. A legdrop with Storm’s neck on the middle rope keeps him in trouble but James comes back with a spinebuster for two.

Drake continues to show off though by jumping to the top rope for a superplex, followed by a quick powerslam for two more. Dang I like this guy more and more every time I see him. Drake brings in the title belt but gets caught in the Eye of the Storm. Drake loads up the beer but it goes into the referee’s eyes, allowing Eli to hit James with the belt for two. Neither finisher can hit so Drake tries a springboard, only to dive into the Last Call to give Storm the title at 6:49.

Rating: C+. I really wouldn’t have expected to see Eli Drake do two Shelton Benjamin spots in a single match but the guy keeps surprising me. Storm almost had to win the title here as you don’t want to mess with a popular gimmick like his, especially at this point in his career. Good match here and I hope Drake is back soon.

Post match Lashley comes out as Storm celebrates. After a break, Lashley is in the ring with James to say they have the only singles titles in this company because they’re the best in the world. Storm likes the look of that TNA World Title because he had it five years ago. Lashley is a former NCAA Heavyweight Champion so Storm can probably beat him in about thirty seconds.

A challenge is issued and Storm says Lashley will hurt his hands from punching James’ face so many times. Lashley gives him a chance to hand over the title now so the beating doesn’t end Storm’s career but James is willing to fight at some point in the future. Dang it they’re going to have Lashley all the titles. I’ve never been a fan of that story and it’s been done too often in recent years.

Maria gives Gail Kim a match with Allie as part of her path to a Knockouts Title match.

Bram and Rosemary are in the barn with Rosemary getting very close to him.

Gail Kim vs. Allie

Allie looks terrified. Actually hang on as Maria comes out make it a handicap match.

Gail Kim vs. Allie/Sienna

Sienna takes her down and chokes with a boot before bringing Allie in, much to her own terror. It’s quickly back to Sienna for a wheelbarrow suplex but Allie can’t even handle a slam. Sienna is smart enough to drag Allie to the corner for a tag but Gail knocks Allie to the floor and starts his comeback. Allie comes back in for a distraction and Gail gets caught in the AK47 for two. Sienna hits the Silencer on Allie by mistake and Gail grabs a quick pin on Allie at 5:45.

Rating: D+. You could see the ending coming as soon as they announced Sienna but that’s not the worst thing in the world. On the other hand though, Gail being the challenger for the title at Bound For Glory is closer to being one of the worst things TNA could do for the belt right now. It’s just been done so many times now and the fact that she’s going into the Hall of Fame doesn’t make it any better. Gail isn’t interesting as a regular character, a veteran, or anything really for that matter. She’s certainly talented but that doesn’t make her interested.

Matt Hardy accuses Jeff Hardy of getting hurt and costing them the Tag Team Titles. True actually. Tonight, Matt is going to tell a story so Jeff can learn what to do next.

Next week: Lashley vs. Storm, winner take all.

Here’s Reby to introduce Matt, meaning it’s time for more loud screechy voices, a new found TNA trademark. Matt has Jeff come out so Reby can shout OBSOLETE over and over. We hear about the history of the Hardy Boyz with Jeff being described as a spot monkey. They won the TNA Tag Team Titles but Jeff got injured and betrayed his brother. That took money out of Matt’s pocket so it’s time to win the Tag Team Titles back for Matt’s financial benefit. Oh and Jeff isn’t allowed to jump off the top rope.

Jeff Hardy/Matt Hardy vs. JT Dunn/Chuck Taylor

Matt is staying on the floor to make this a handicap match. Taylor is a big name from the independents, primarily in Chikara. Dunn starts for the team but gets caught with a slingshot dropkick in the corner. The fans chant for Jeff as Matt keeps running his mouth on a mic about how Brother Nero is an obsolete mule.

Taylor comes in with an elbow drop and a seated abdominal stretch as Matt pulls a fan over the barricade and bites him to draw some blood. Jeff makes his comeback but JT blocks the Twist of Fate. Matt: “YOU BETTER NOT LOSE YOU DELETED OBSOLETE MULE!” Matt gets in the ring to block the Swanton but Jeff jumps over Matt anyway, only to take a Twist of Fate. With Jeff down, Matt tags himself in and pins Dunn at 6:24.

Rating: D. Hey, did you know that Matt is all wacky and insane and broken? I didn’t know if TNA had hammered it into your head enough yet so I thought I’d point it out again. It’s pretty clear that we’re heading for Jeff’s big win at Bound For Glory, even if it means stretching this feud out WAY beyond its expiration date.

Grado/Mahabali Shera vs. Tribunal/Al Snow

Yes again. Apparently Grado couldn’t hire Grado again because he spent all his money on Pokeballs. The numbers game has the bad guys in control to start with Grado’s clothesline having little effect. Snow takes Grado down as we get into a more standard match. We get some trash talk from the veteran to draw Shera in, causing the referee to miss Grado’s small package on Snow. The hot tag brings in Shera and he shrugs off the numbers advantage. Stereo powerslams plant the Tribunal and a Sky High ends Snow at 6:01.

Rating: D+. Again, this was a moderately interesting idea that TNA has no idea how to wrap up so they just keep going until it’s driven into the ground. The Tribunal could have been a nice midcard tag team but now they’re losing to goons like Shera and Grado long after this feud should have wrapped up.

Rosemary is still crazy. Bram tries to leave the barn but Rosemary holds him in place. He says everyone has had their heart broken and she needs to get over it. Rosemary starts screaming and Decay comes in to knock Bram out. Bram is thrown into the trunk of a car and Decay drives off, laughing maniacally along the way.

Video on EC3.

Bennett is ready for Carter.

Carter is ready for Bennett and says Mike can bring the whole wilderness to face him.

Tyrus is ready to fix your problems.

Bound For Glory Playoff Final: Mike Bennett vs. Ethan Carter III

No Moose in Bennett’s corner and Carter is coming in with bad ribs. Carter runs him over with a shoulder to start and works on the wristlock. A gorilla press drop looks to set up a splash but there’s no rocket fuel in the spaceship and Carter hits knees. Back from a break with Bennett in control and putting on an abdominal stretch. A spinebuster gets two on Carter but he grabs a rollup for the same. They slug it out with Bennett grabbing some rolling German suplexes, only to have Carter grab a sitout powerbomb for two.

Maria gets on the apron for a failed distraction so both guys head up top with a super cutter getting two on Ethan. More yelling earns Maria an ejection and the distraction means the 1%er only gets two. Cue Moose but Eddie Edwards takes him out, leaving Bennett to hit the MIP for two of his own. Both finishers are countered again until the 1%er hits again to give Ethan the title shot at 17:25.

Rating: B. These two just work together and this was another good match between them. Carter going to Bound For Glory is pretty much their only option, even though Carter vs. Lashley isn’t the most interesting main event in the world. That being said, I’m not sure what Bennett does unless they add he and Galloway to the title match.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was mostly good save for the first half of the second hour. There’s stuff on this show that works so well but at the other end of the spectrum their bad parts are just so dull. Bound For Glory looks good on top though it’s not entirely clear what they’re going with yet. Again: as long as the Hardys don’t main event, I’m perfectly fine with how most of the show is going. This week’s show was much better than recent weeks and I think a lot of it has to do with Matt and Jeff not dominating the first half hour. Amazing how that works no?

Results

James Storm b. Eli Drake – Last Call

Gail Kim b. Sienna/Allie – Gail pinned Allie after a Silencer from Sienna

Matt Hardy/Jeff Hardy b. JT Dunn/Chuck Taylor – Swanton Bomb to Dunn

Grado/Mahabali Shera b. Tribunal/Al Snow – Sky High to Snow

Ethan Carter III b. Mike Bennett – 1%er

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