Joey Janela’s Spring Break: Cluster**** Forever: As Advertised

Joey Janela’s Spring Break: Cluster**** Forever
Date: April 6, 2024
Location: Penns Landing Caterers, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Dave Prazak, Veda Scott

This is the second half of Spring Break, with a two match card. Naturally this includes a Punjabi Prison match, but the big draw is the Cluster**** Battle Royal, which is only a match with actual structure in the loosest of terms. There will probably be more than fifty entrants with loosely timed intervals, but the real fun is seeing who shows up. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video on the Punjabi Prison match.

Tag Team Titles: Violence Is Forever vs. Juicy Finau/Zilla Fatu vs. Los Macios vs. Bollywood Boyz

Violence Is Forever (Kevin Ku/Dominic Garrini) is defending and Los Macios are Ciclope/Miedo Extremo. The Boyz are carried on fans’ shoulders to the ring, which is surrounded by the bamboo style cage. This is one fall to a finish, meaning it’s not quite a Punjabi Prison match but I’ll take what I can get under the circumstances.

Fatu and Finau clean house to start, with Finau and Garrini fighting to the floor (as in outside of the cage) where Garrini gets beaten up. Los Macios hit Ku with a double flapjack but can’t manage to double suplex the rather large Ku. The Boyz are back up with a Bollywood Blast to Ku before double teaming Fatu down. Finau wrecks Finau as more people go to the floor to brawl.

Gurv is busted open and Ciclope grabs an electric tool, which can’t go well for anyone. Los Macios manage to knock Finau down inside, at least partially thanks to a chair, leaving Fatu to Samoan drop Harv off the cage through some doors at ringside. About ten chair shots and a Samoan drop put Finau down again as Ciclope climbs the cage.

Fatu Samoan Spikes him down and then dives back in with Garrini having to make a save. A spike piledriver hits Gurv…who pops right back up. The champs chair him down and then do the same to Finau. We pause for the sake of spending forever to set up a double stack door. The top rope double stomp to Finau gives Ku the retaining pin at 14:26.

Rating: C+. What is there to say about a match like this? It’s total insanity with all kinds of things going on at once. That’s kind of the point, and while the cage itself was only kind of used at times, I think I like the idea of having people coming and going. Having eight people in the ring at once is a mess, so I’ll take carnage going throughout the arena and ringside over everyone in the ring and not being able to move.

We look at upcoming shows as it’s going to take some time to get the cage down.

Commentary hypes up the Cluster as we stay on the graphic of upcoming events.

Before the Cluster starts, here is GCW World Champion Black Christian, with Shane Mercer, for a chat. Christian talks about how Joey Janela couldn’t finish the story last night at Spring Break and it wasn’t the first time he was bigger, stronger and could last longer than Janela. Cue Janela from behind to powerbomb Christian and hit him with a package piledriver. Mercer and Janela brawl outside…and here is Mance Warner, who has a guaranteed title shot at any time. Warner loads up the screwdriver but Effy comes in to brawl with Warner to the back.

We preview the Cluster, which is about having all kinds of people, with no idea of who or how many people will be entering.

Cluster****

There are unknown entrants and you can be eliminated by pin, submission, over the top, leaving the building and death. It’s Royal Rumble style (with the rules and intervals being loose at best) with Jimmy Lloyd, in a neck brace after last night, in at #1. Before the match he rips on Philadelphia before bringing out Matt Cardona and Steph de Lander. Well in theory that is but instead it’s Shane Douglas coming in at #2.

Shane hits a quick belly to belly for the pin and the elimination, allowing him to stop and talk about the history of wrestling here in Philadelphia. All of the promotions around here can kiss his a** but here is Shota in at #3. A dropkick staggers Douglas but he’s back with the belly to belly for the pin. Bam Sullivan is in at #4 and flips off Douglas, who hammers away. Sullivan knocks him down and gets two off a splash but Douglas bites him in the head. A running clothesline of all things gets rid of Sullivan and it’s Lindsay in at #5.

Douglas doesn’t think much of her so she hits him low for two. The camel clutch goes on but Jason Knight comes in, presumably at #6, to kiss Snow and toss her out. Rob S*** is in at #7 and beats on both of them until Knight dumps him. The Carnage Crew (Loc and DeVito) are in at #8 and #9 but they’re both out just as fast. Tommy Dreamer is in at #10 and yeah the fans approve as the ECW reunion continues. Justin Credible pops in, I guess at #11, and leaves with Jason without doing anything.

That leaves Dreamer vs. Douglas with a quick DDT getting rid of Douglas as the Impact Players (Knight/Credible) are officially eliminated due to leaving. Rina Yamashita is in at #12 and they slug it out, with Rina grabbing a testicular claw. An enziguri drops Dreamer and Tony Deppen is in at #13 (Rina rolls her eyes). Rina rolls outside (not eliminated) and 1 Called Manders is in at #14. Brawling ensues until Charlie Tiger is in at #15. That goes nowhere so Jeffrey John is in at #16 as the ring is starting to fill up.

Facade is in at #17 for some kicks to stagger various people. The intervals pick up as Masha Slamovich is in at #18. Slamovich avoids a dropkick and chokes John out for the elimination. Tiger gets choked out as well before Slamovich crotches Facade on top and gets rid of him. Deppen tries to get rid of Slamovich but Dreamer throws him out instead. Trevor Outlaw and Frank The Clown are in at #19 and #20 with Outlaw trying a cheap shot on Dreamer, who grabs a DDT.

Slamovich tosses Dreamer and pins Outlaw as Marcus Mathers is in at #21. Mathers kicks Rina back out to the floor (again not out) and Parrow is in at #22. Frank The Clown has left the building (he never got in the ring) for an elimination and it’s Mike Bailey in at #23 (you knew he was coming). Everyone goes after the large Parrow, who tosses Bailey. Parrow puts Slamovich down for the pin as well and it’s Pollo del Mar in at #24. Pollo is tossed rather quickly and it’s Dark Sheik, Edith Surreal and Jamie Senegal in at #25, #26 and #27.

They all strike away at Parrow, including a trio of Shattered Dreams. Parrow goes through the ropes (not out) and it’s Cheech and Colin Delaney in at #28 and #29. They go after the trio but can’t get rid of anyone as the Main Event (Jay Lion/Midas Black) are in at #30 and #31. Some rather snazzy double team moves have Cheech and Delaney in trouble, albeit not eliminated. Dives through the ropes take Cheech and Delaney down as the Ugly Sucklings (White Mike and Rob Killjoy) are in at #32 and #33.

The Sucklings beat up both tag teams but can’t get rid of anyone as Davey Bang and August Matthews are in at #34 and #35. That means they get to clean house with some dives as even more people get to lay around on the floor. Cheech and Delaney come back in but get dropped with clotheslines as Bobby Flaco, Terry Yaki, Aerial Van Go and Mr. Danger come in together at #36, #37, #38 and #39.

The four of them go after Delaney, with a hurricanrana into a phoenix splash getting rid of him, with Cheech being thrown out just after. Flaco plants Black for the elimination and a twisting Canadian Destroyer gets rid of Lion. Bang and Matthews are back up to get rid of Mike and Killjoy. Fuego del Sol and Sam Stackhouse are in at #40 and #41 with the much bigger Stackhouse going after Matthews.

Del Sol and Stackhouse knock Matthews and Bang down for stereo pins to clear the ring, not counting all of the people still either on the floor or gone. Stackhouse and del Sol beat up some of the foursome before a ladder is brought in. A moonsault onto said ladder gets rid of Flaco and Yaki but Van Go and Danger use the ladder to drop Stackhouse and del Sol. They both climb the ladder and Van Go headscissors Danger onto the pile on the floor, meaning they’re both eliminated.

Green Phantom is in at #42 and Sexxxy Eddy follows him, apparently at #43. Eddy comes to the ring in a towel and puts his tights on before getting inside to chair Stackhouse down. Mathers comes back in and gets hit low by Eddy but Manders gets back in as well. A double clothesline puts Manders down and it’s Tara Zep in at #44.

Eddy gyrates a lot and Phantom knocks Zep face first into Eddy’s trunks. Phantom slams Zep onto a chair for the elimination and Tank is in at #45. Tank beats up Eddy and Phantom but Manders is back in again for a slugout. They trade headbutts until Tank hammers him into the corner with both of them busted open. Tank headbutts Manders down and it’s Matters coming back in for another slugout. CPA (yes he’s an accountant) is in at #46 and takes off his shirt and tie to reveal….the same shirt and tie.

We’ll make that three layers as he hits a slow motion 619 on Tank. Everyone but CPA goes under the ropes to the floor and it’s Alex Zayne in at #47. Mathers takes Zayne’s place and is sent outside (not out again) as Philly Mike is in at #48. Mike knocks Mathers into the corner and it’s Spyder Nate Webb in at #49 for the full Teenage Dirt Bag entrance. Other wrestlers dance with him at ringside before Webb conducts the fans to sing the song with him.

With the song done, Webb takes a bow and gets inside, beer in hand. The fans want the song to be played again and that is in fact what happens as commentary points out that it is 2am local time. Philly Mike finally jumps Webb, who hands him a beer and then hammers him down. They fight to the floor and Mike walks out for an elimination. Webb follows and he’s out too, taking some of the energy from the crowd. Said energy picks up again as ring announcer Emil Jay enters at #50 but is tossed out almost immediately.

Eddy gets to gyrate a bit and it’s Cheeseburger in at #51. Cheeseburger ties Eddy in the Tree of Woe and sends Phantom face first into his tights, which is enough for an elimination. Eddy’s tights are pulled off and he has to fight with his hands covering himself. That lets Cheeseburger toss him out and Man Like DeReiss is in at #52. As usual, DeReiss raps himself to the ring and throws out CPA in the process. Monomoth (he has wings) is in at #53 and Zayne isn’t sure what to do with him.

A quick rollup gets rid of Zayne and Mercedes Martinez is in at #54 so Mathers comes back in (there are all kinds of people just sitting/strolling around at ringside) and is quickly fisherman’s bustered out. Surreal and Senegal (See what I mean?) come back in to go after Martinez, with Sheik joining them but getting eliminated. Surreal saves Senegal but Martinez DDTs both of them for the double elimination. DeReiss comes back in and low bridges Martinez out as Kaplan is in at #55.

Kaplan sets up doors and chairs on the floor as Manders and Stackhouse get back in. Del Sol is back in as well as Sawyer Wreck (with a bad arm) is in at #56. Kaplan misses a moonsault and gets thrown through the doors for the elimination. Wreck comes in as Brandon Kirk and Kasey Catal are in at #57 and #58.

Manders and Kirk are eliminated by their respective (romantic) partners….and then Wreck and Catal kiss. They leave together and they’re both out (Emil Jay: “Sawyer Wreck and Kasey Catal have left the building….together.”). Jordan Oliver is in at #59 to dropkick Tank out but Parrow is back in for a chokeslam. Monomoth is back in and is quickly tossed as Beastman is in at #60.

Beastman chokebombs Parrow but Stackhouse comes in and takes his shirt off, giving us a lot of jiggling. DeReiss chops at the huge Stackhouse and Beastman before tossing both of them out for the big eliminations. Viva Van is in at #61 and knocks DeReiss into the corner. The gear is hitched up for a Stinkface (DeReiss approves but feigns being knocked out when Van looks at him) but del Sol breaks it up. Van is out and Gringo Loco is in at #62.

The entrants pick up as Grim Reefer is in at #63 and tries to light a cigarette, with Parrow breaking it up. Parrow puts Reefer out and it’s Cole Radrick and Alec Price in at #64 and #65. They go after del Sol and Oliver with the former being knocked out thanks to some double teaming. Johnny Kashmere is in at #66 and we get a mini tag match with Kashmere/Oliver vs. Price/Radrick. That includes Radrick and Price both being tossed, leaving Kashmere and Oliver in the ring as Kurt Bale, Lance Scaper and Big Vin are in at #67, #68 and #69.

Vin and company get to wreck Kashmere and Oliver but can’t eliminate them as the American Giant (he’s 7’3) is in at #70. Giant gets rid of Vin and chokeslams Bale and Scaper for the double pin. There goes DeReiss as well so Parrow comes in for the staredown with Giant. Microman is in at #71 for the funny visual and Chiitan (a mascot with a big head) is in at #72.

Parrow gets rid of Giant and kicks Microman in the head but Chiitan knocks Parrow through the ropes. The Fighting Chicken (Prazak: “What in the world?”) is in at #73 and we get the big mascot staredown with Chiitan. Dr. Cube, the Hot Potato and Double Unicorn Dark (they’re kaiju from Japan) are in at #74, #75 and #76. The Chicken pecks away but the kaiju knock the mascots into the corner. Potato’s shooting star press gets two…and Aja Kong is in at #77 for the big surprise.

The Kaiju and the Chicken go after her but she knocks the three villains out and spinning backfists the Chicken for the pin. Chiitan, minus the hat, goes after Kong, who hits a spinning backfist for the pin. That gives us Parrow vs. Kong, with Parrow hitting a clothesline for the pin. Loco is back in and gets knocked out before going after Microman. Yoshihiko (a doll) is in at #78 and Stunners Kashmere out before brainbustering Oliver (just go with it) for the elimination.

Rina Yamashita (who hasn’t done anything or been seen in probably an hour and a half) comes in to piledrive Yoshihiko, who hurricanranas her out anyway. Parrow goes to throw out Yoshihiko, who throws him out instead. We get Yoshihiko vs. Microman but Nick Gage is in at #79 (announced as #87, but there’s no way I was THAT far off), the final entrant. Commentary says Gage, Yoshihiko and Microman are the final three so we’ll go with that as I lost who was still in an hour ago.

Gage hammers Yoshihiko into the corner and hits a gorilla press powerslam. The pizza cutter is whipped out but Microman makes the save. Yoshihiko crossbodies Gage but gets sent out, leaving Microman to suplex Gage. Microman pizza cutters Gage, who shoves him back down. The fans cheer for Microman, who is sat on top…but Gage misses a charge and falls out, allowing Microman to get the win at 1:57:51 (close enough as there was no opening bell).

Rating: B. Oddly enough, I had a good time with this. It’s a perfect example of “this is what we told you would be happening”, as there is nothing remotely serious about the whole thing, with stretches where there were dozens of people officially in but few were actually doing anything. This isn’t a match where it’s about the story or the action, but rather the whole atmosphere and wondering who was coming in next. This was pure, goofy fun and I had a good time with it, which is exactly what it should have been.

Overall Rating: B-. It says a lot when an eight man, four team cage match is completely forgotten but that’s the kind of show this is. This isn’t supposed to be anything more than one big party show where the fans get to see a bunch of people running out there and some semblance of a match taking place. You have to know exactly what you’re getting into, but if you can accept that, you’ll have a good time.

 

 

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Joey Janela’s Spring Break 8: Can We Go Back To School?

Joey Janela’s Spring Break 8
Date: April 5, 2024
Location: Penns Landing Caterers, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Dave Prazak, Veda Scott

This is one of the bigger independent shows of Wrestlemania Weekend and the biggest GCW show as well. The main event if Joey Janela himself challenging the rather unpopular Black Christian for the GCW World Title. As usual this show could be all over the place and that makes it more fun. Let’s get to it.

I only follow GCW to a certain extent so I apologize in advance for missing details about characters or storylines. I’m basically going based off what commentary or the wrestlers tell me.

Note that I was in the arena for this show, sitting in the sixth row with the entrance on my right.

In Memory of Virgil.

Opening video.

Rina Yamashita/Masha Slamovich vs. Minoru Suzuki/Masato Tanaka

Rina and Tanaka start things off with the former’s running shoulders not getting her very far. Suzuki and Slamovich come in but I can’t stop looking at a rather stupid looking fan. Looks like some overrated wrestling reviewer. Slamovich can’t get very far so it’s back to Tanaka to take her down by the arm. The fight heads out to the floor and we go split screen, which is more than most major promotions can remember to do.

Back in and Suzuki stomps away at Slamovich in the corner before Tanaka just slaps her in the face. It’s back to Suzuki who alternates between cranking on various limbs to keep Slamovich down. Slamovich manages a quick suplex and it’s back to Rina to pick things up. We get the “let’s stand here and exchange forearms”, with Suzuki getting the better of things.

Tanaka comes in for a top rope superplex, which he rolls into another suplex. Rina gets away for the tag back to Slamovich, who strikes both guys down. A double powerbomb gets two on Tanaka and let’s get a door. Splash Mountain through the door is broken up by Suzuki, who is sent outside. Tanaka puts Slamovich (mostly) through the table for two but Slamovich is right back with a crucifix for the pin at 13:48.

Rating: C+. This was a nice start as the fans are always going to react to Suzuki and Tanaka was a big enough deal in ECW for the local fans. Other than that, it didn’t get too violent and that left us with a mostly clean tag match. It’s nice to see something like that on a show that has a tendency to get nuts, though I’m sure that’s coming later.

Rock N Roll Express/Kerry Morton vs. East West Express/Mike Bailey

The Rock N Roll (Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson) are legends (as opposed to the East/West of Jordan Oliver and Nick Wayne) and of course good guys but Kerry (Ricky’s son) is a loudmouthed heel. Before the match, Kerry tells the fans to shut the f*** up and asks who all of these people think they are to get in the ring with the. And then the fans BOO HIM??? Kerry jumps the three of them from behind to no avail and it’s a neckbreaker into Bailey’s shooting star press for two.

Wayne and Oliver start working on the arm before it’s off to Ricky, who gets elbowed in the face. Ricky tells Wayne to run the ropes but Kerry gets in a cheap shot, which doesn’t work for Kerry. The fans sing their disdain for Kerry, who doesn’t take kindly to it but does take Wayne down with a slingshot suplex. Wayne manages a running uppercut for a breather and it’s Bailey coming back in to pick up the pace.

Oliver snaps off a double chop and…bounces up and down a lot. The East/West comes in for their double cutter out of the corner but Kerry shoves the referee into the ropes for the break, earning him a big yelling from Ricky. He even slaps Kerry and I guess that’s enough for Ricky to be Legal. A Canadian Destroyer hits Wayne and he dives onto a bunch of people, including Kerry. The Mortons hit stereo dropkicks for two on Wayne as Bailey makes the save. Oliver and Wayne are back in though and it’s the double cutter for the pin on Ricky at 9:21.

Rating: C+. This was more about Ricky vs. Kerry than anything else while also having the Rock N Roll in there. It made for a good enough story, but the action was only so good. You can only get so much out of the Rock N Roll these days and while that’s fair enough, it was smart to keep this relatively short. And of course with Bailey in there, because he comes complete with every Wrestlemania Weekend show.

Dragon Gate Classic vs. Reiwa New Generation

That would be Dragon Kid/Kzy/Yamato vs. Ben-K/Kota Minoura/Shun Skywalker. Yamato and Ben start things off and they go to the mat for the grappling exchange. With that not working, Kzy and Minoura come in and the latter doesn’t think much of what appears to be dancing. That doesn’t work either, so it’s off to the masked Skywalker and the, uh, also masked Kid.

A Stundog Millionaire drops Skywalker so Ben and Minoura come in for an assisted kick to Kid’s face. Ben does his rotating gutwrench suplex to drop Kid again, followed by Skywalker’s suplex to keep Kid in trouble. Minoura comes back in with a Boston crab, sending Kid straight to the ropes.

Kid finally manages to get in a shot of his own and it’s back to Yamato to pick up the pace. Kzy hits a big dive to the floor, leaving Yamato to suplex Ben for two. Minoura gets super hurricanranaed down and Kzy’s frog splash gets two more. Back up and Skywalker monkey flips Kzy into Kid and Yamato but Kzy forearms the heck out of Skywalker. Minoura is back in and gets caught in a crucifix to give Kid the pin at 13:53.

Rating: B. They were doing the showcase route here and that went rather well. It’s a case where you take a bunch of talented people and let them go out there for a bunch of fun spots for a good while. It worked well here with everyone going nuts until someone got the pin. Rather entertaining stuff here and it went exactly as it should have.

Cole Radrick vs. Aigle Blanc vs. Alec Price vs. Arez vs. Leon Slater vs. Marcus Mathers vs. Mr. Danger vs. Myron Reed

Grab The Brass Ring ladder match, with a Sonic looking ring above the ring, meaning the winner gets a shot at any title on demand. It’s a big brawl to start and everyone heads outside and thankfully we go split screen again. Radrick and Blanc grab chairs and go back inside for a duel, with Radrick knocking him right back to the floor. Mathers comes back in to kick the chair into Radrick’s head before it’s Danger coming in for a springboard legdrop to knock a ladder onto Reed’s face.

Now it’s Arez and Mathers picking up a ladder to clear a few people out, only to have Blanc break it up. We get the required ladder around the head (Price’s in this case) so he can spin around rather quickly to knock a bunch of people down. Price is down as well so it’s Microman, who stands 3’3, in with a tiny ladder of his own. He does his own ladder spin, resulting in a bunch of low blows for even more knockdowns. Microman sends Mathers into a ladder in the corner and there’s a headscissors to Price.

Back up and Price nails a clothesline before going up. Arez breaks that up with a springboard cutter so Radrick grabs the ladder, only to have that broken up as well. Mathers shoves a ladder over to send Danger into another ladder. Blanc misses a Swanton onto the ladder, allowing Slater to hit a Swanton 450 (that looks cool) to crush Blanc again. Mathers powerbombs Blanc onto a bunch of people on the floor but Reed pulls him off the ladder.

A F5 onto the top into a Downward Spiral plants Mathers but Price sends Reed face first into the ladder. There’s the big dive to the pile on the floor, leaving Slater to hit the huge dive over the post. A bunch of people check on Slater until Reed dives over the top for a cutter onto the pile. Danger goes up for the huge moonsault onto a bunch of people, leaving the fans pleased and everyone else down. Back in and Danger goes up but Radrick slows him down. Mathers and Price go up as well before going crashing down, leaving Radrick to knock Danger off and win at 17:06.

Rating: B-. This was the big cluster (ok maybe not the best word on a Joey Janela show) ladder match and it worked rather well. It’s the best way to have this many people on the roster at once as the fans get to see a bunch of stars in one match. It helps that there were stakes with this being similar to the Money In The Bank ladder match. There were a lot of people out there, but at least they kept things moving well enough.

Matt Cardona vs. Blue Pain

Cardona, with Steph de Lander and Jimmy Lloyd, is dressed as Macho King (with Queen Steph) and lets us know how lucky we are to have him. He was on TNA AND AEW recently and this weekend, his best friend Cody Rhodes will finish his story. Pain on the other hand is better known as Blue Kane and he’s kind of the Xanta Claus version of Kane: he wears blue, he controls cold instead of fire, he comes out to Eiffel 65’s Blue song, and he weighs two Cease And Desist Orders.

Cardona strikes away to start and gets scared out to the floor, as the flashbacks to the old US Title days are still real (that’s a weirdly clever idea). Back in and Pain uppercuts Cardona right back to the floor, meaning it’s time to stalk Cardona into the crowd. They fight into the balcony (not that high) and Pain loads up a table, only to get hit in the eyes with…something. Lloyd has to make the save but gets put in a chair and sent through the table (call back to Kane vs. Cardona back in WWE).

They get back in, where a de Lander distraction lets Cardona knock Pain off the top, setting up stereo Broski Boots. An Urn is brought in but Cardona hits de Lander by mistake (she urned that one), allowing Pain to hit the top rope clothesline. A chokeslam gets two, with de Lander pulling the referee out.

Radio Silence connects and another referee, dressed like Zack Ryder and coming out to the Zack Ryder theme, comes in to count two but flips Cardona off and kicks him low. Pain fights up with a chokeslam attempt, only to have Ryder hit him low, as Cardona reveals (and drops to the floor) a cup. That doesn’t work either so chokeslams abound until Lloyd is back. A fireball to the face (oddly appropriate) blinds Pain and Radio Silence lets all four villains pile on for the pin at 9:04.

Rating: B-. We can call this the definition of “stupid, goofy fun” and that is not a bad thing. Cardona is a big deal around here and it’s nice to see him getting to do something as silly as beating up a blue version of a monster who messed with him about ten years ago. Sometimes you need to do something ridiculous to give the fans a good time and that is exactly what happened here.

Gringo Loco vs. Amazing Red

This should be fun. Feeling out process to start with neither being able to get anywhere, including Red offering a clean break. They run the ropes and exchange some near falls until Red pauses on a big kick to the head. Loco isn’t having a handshake and knocks him outside, only to have Red snap off a hurricanrana.

The dive drops Loco again and Red sends him into the chairs before going back inside for the chops. Loco fights up and knocks him to the floor this time, only to let Red get back in due to that pesky respect stuff. Back in and a tornado DDT gives Red two more as they’re going back and forth here. Loco’s sitout powerbomb gives him two of his own but a top rope superplex is broken up.

Instead Red sends him down for a top rope faceplant but Loco hits a standing version for two more. Another powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana to give Red two so they both go up. This time it’s a super Spanish Fly to give Loco another near fall and they’re both a bit winded. Loco loads up…something but gets kicked in the back, allowing Red to take him up top for a super poisonrana. A top rope double stomp into a frog splash into Code Red is enough to give Red the pin at 15:55.

Rating: B. This was a way more straightforward match and it went rather well. After having all of the goofiness before and the violence that is still scheduled, it is nice to have something like this. Red is way past his prime but can still do some rather nice things. Loco is still more than good enough as well and they had a rather solid match here, at least given the circumstances.

Respect is shown post match.

We recap Mance Warner vs. Effy in an I Quit match. The commentary before the video said they’re former stablemates and now hate each other, but we’re not told why or what happened. Warner is rather violent though and apparently stabbed Effy with a drill to the head. As you do.

Effy vs. Mance Warner

I Quit and the fans do not like Warner whatsoever. We even get the Big Match Intros to really make this feel special. Warner hammers away to start and strikes away, only to charge into a German suplex. Effy hits a running boot in the corner and flips into something like a dragon sleeper. That’s broken up so Effy hits a spear to take Warner down again.

It’s time to bring in some chairs, one of which is thrown over the top and onto Warner’s head. Effy chairs him down and loads up a door, but does stop to chair Warner down again in a smart move. Warner is fine enough to spinebuster him through an open chair and a spinning DDT through the table connects. It’s way too early for Effy to quit so Warner chairs him down again.

Back up and Effy sends him through another door for another no, setting up a piledriver onto the chairs. Effy tries a Rough Ryder but is quickly powerbombed down onto the chairs as well. That’s nowhere near enough so let’s steal the referee’s belt to whip Effy over the back. Effy shrugs that off and grabs the belt, which he wraps around his fist to punch Warner in the face.

Some whipping in the corner makes Warner say no again and it’s time to bridge a door between some chairs. Choking takes too long though and Effy gets sent through the door, which is good for another no. They slug it out on the apron, with Effy snapping off a standing Blockbuster. Another door is loaded up at ringside but Warner grabs a chokeslam to send him through it as the violence continues.

Back in and they trade pieces of door shots to the head. Effy gets the better of things again and they trade low blows to put them both down again. Warner whips out a screwdriver to hit Effy in the head and it’s time to bring out some zip ties. The bloody Effy is tied to the top rope and Warner throws a chair at his head. That’s still a no so here is Allie Katch (Effy’s partner) with the drill…but Warner chairs her down and loads up the drill. Effy quits to save Katch at 21:47.

Rating: B-. This was the match that caught my eye more than anything else on the card and it told a story (unlike the story that we weren’t given about how we got here) but it never really got to that next level. Instead it was just a bunch of hitting people with stuff until they did the ending. It wasn’t bad, but I was expecting more in what felt like it could have been one of the best things on the show.

We recap Nick Gage/Maki Itoh vs. Danhausen/Ram Kaicho. Gage was unhappy with Danhausen for costing him a win so it’s time to bring in a partner each.

Nick Gage/Maki Itoh vs. Danhausen/Ram Kaicho

Kaicho appears to be a bit dead and Gage and Itoh have Discount Dewey Donovan with them (he still has a website, where he brags about how little effort he has put into it and has not updated it in about 18 years). The fans REALLY do not like Danhausen during the Big Match Intros and even he seems a bit surprised.

Danhausen and Gage start things off but Danhausen wants Itoh instead. The curse is blocked with a middle finger so Danhausen grabs a headlock. Itoh gets knocked down and Danhausen drops a falling headbutt, a signature Itoh spot. Back up and Itoh knocks him down so it’s off to Kaicho, who uses her….death dust to blind Itoh? With that shrugged off, Itoh hammers away in the corner and hits a running boot for two. Gage comes in and knocks a crossbodying Itoh down and an elbow makes it worse.

Itoh DDTs her way to freedom and hands it off to Danhausen to slug away at Gage, followed by the flying shoulder. Everything breaks down and Gage pulls Danhausen outside, where it’s time to grab a door. All four get inside and it’s a four way knockdown, with Gage grabbing the pizza cutter.

Kaicho blasts him with the dust though and hits a dropkick to put Gage through the door in the corner. Danhausen pizza cutters Itoh and pours the teeth in her mouth, setting up the running booth. Back up and Gage sends Danhausen through another door as Itoh drops Kaicho. Stereo falling headbutts give Gage and Itoh the stereo pins at 13:01.

Rating: C+. What were you expecting here? It was basically a way to have Gage vs. Danhausen and it wasn’t exactly good. Gage is as big of a star as he can be around here and more or less it gave him a way to get on the card. Danhausen has fallen really hard in recent months and while he’s not done yet, it would be nice to see him getting to do something else to freshen things up a bit.

Post match Gage thanks the fans so the winners can leave.

We recap Blake Christian defending the GCW World Title against Joey Janela. No one likes Christian so it’s time for Janela to save the title from a horrible champion. He’s also standing up to Christian for going after Missy Hyatt, because that is a thing that is happening in 2024.

GCW World Title: Blake Christian vs. Joey Janela

Christian, with Shane Mercer, is defending and Missy Hyatt (with Gucci purse) is here with Janela. We get the Big Match Intros and Janela is in the Lex Luger Summerslam 1993 gear, which can’t go badly whatsoever. The mic goes out during Christian’s entrance because even the electronics don’t like Christian.

They fight over a lockup to start and that goes a grand total of nowhere. Janela shoulders him out to the floor but Christian is back in to slug away. A backdrop does a bit better for Janela and it’s time for a door. That takes too long so it’s Christian hitting a dive to send the door into Janela for a change. We hit the hair pull, followed by a chinlock, which isn’t a good sign less than ten minutes into the match.

Janela fights up but gets sent outside, where Mercer puts him into the post. Christian sends him face first through a chair and even busts out a cartwheel inside. Back up and Janela manages a quick cutter into a brainbuster for two, meaning frustration is starting to set in. That takes too long so Christian is back up with a springboard elbow for two of his own.

Stereo clotheslines give us a double knockdown, followed by a DDT to plant Christian onto the apron. The door is set up at ringside but Christian slips out of a Death Valley Driver. Back in and Janela snaps off a German suplex, followed by the Death Valley Driver for two. Janela takes too much time going up and gets knocked down, allowing Christian to hit a springboard 450 for two of his own.

Christian sends him outside for the big flip dive into a Nightmare On Helm Street on the floor. A moonsault press is countered back inside and Janela hits a quick jackknife. Janela grabs a chair to knock Christian down and then wraps the chair around his head. Mercer offers a quick distraction though and it’s Christian coming back with a spinebuster through the chair.

A Stomp gives Christian two and the shock sets in quickly. Mercer throws in a mostly broken door and some chairs but Hyatt comes in, meaning Janela has to make the save. Janela knocks Mercer off the top and through another table at ringside, setting up a superplex through that rather lame looking door.

A top rope stomp onto the door onto Christian gets two but he’s back up with a quick DDT. They slug it out from their knees until Hyatt grabs Christian’s leg (only took her two tries). Christian pulls her in so Janela makes the save…and Hyatt hits Janela with the Gucci bag. A stomp onto the bag retains the title at 29:44.

Rating: D+. Janela has a tendency to go long in his matches and that was certainly the case here. This is a match that could have easily had fifteen minutes chopped off as they just didn’t have much going on here. Christian can do the moves well but he isn’t exactly a thrilling star otherwise. Janela did what he could but they couldn’t have telegraphed the ending any harder. Not a good main event, mainly as it went on WAY too long.

The fans throw in trash (the referee is NOT happy) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show started off well enough but it went on about four hours in total and the fans were just done by the main event. It’s a show where they needed to cut some time off from more than a few matches. I liked the show well enough and a good chunk of it had some of that strong GCW crowd energy, but the main event was rough. It doesn’t help that there is nothing worth going out of your way to see. Spring Break is supposed to be one of the really fun events and this was more forgettable than anything else.

Results
Rina Yamashita/Masha Slamovich b. Minoru Suzuki/Masato Tanaka – Crucifix to Tanaka
East West Express/Mike Bailey b. Rock N Roll Express/Kerry Morton – Double middle rope cutter to Ricky
Dragon Gate Classic b. Reiwa New Generation – Crucifix to Minoura
Cole Radrick won the Grab The Brass Ring Ladder Match
Matt Cardona b. Blue Pain – Radio Silence
Amazing Red b. Gringo Loco – Code Red
Mance Warner b. Effy when Effy quit
Nick Gage/Maki Itoh b. Danhausen/Ram Kaicho – Stereo falling headbutts
Blake Christian b. Joey Janela – Stomp onto a Gucci bag

 

 

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Joey Janela’s Spring Break 6 Night Two: The Greatest Clusterf……Hey It’s My 8000th Review!

Joey Janela’s Spring Break 6 Night Two
Date: April 1, 2022
Location: Fair Park, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Dave Prazak, Kevin Gill

It’s the second half of the show and in this case, it needs to get a pretty big upgrade over the first half. Night one was a decent enough show, but it wasn’t memorable, which is the point of a show like this. Now that being being said, this show is built around the Clusterf*** Battle Royal, which could be quite the mess. Let’s get to it.

Here is Night One if you need a recap.

We open with Joey Janela talking about beating Sean Waltman last night and wanting his flowers. He wonders why the fans hate him now but Spring Break needs a lethal dose of poison to turn it back into what it is supposed to be. This year, he is entering the Clusterf*** so he can end it once and for all. Maybe just don’t run it then?

Matt Cardona vs. Chris Dickinson

Chelsea Green is here with Cardona, who is currently the king, meaning yes he does have a Macho King crown. Green gets in an ALL HAIL THE DEATHMATCH KING and the fans are all over Cardona again. Cardona insults GCW and says they are the power couple of wrestling. Six years ago, he won the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania, but now he’s in this piece of garbage ring. If he was in WWE, like he should be, he would be celebrating his friend Mark Calaway, who he will see in the Hall of Fame one day.

Dickinson comes out with….MISSY HYATT to even things out, which is one of those names that makes this show feel fun. Both pairs share good luck kisses before the match, with Hyatt’s leaving Dickinson woozy. Dickinson wrestles him to the mat to start but Cardona is up to yell at Hyatt. That doesn’t work well for Dickinson, who grabs a cross armbreaker to send Cardona bailing to the floor.

Back in and Green grabs Dickinson’s foot for a distraction so Cardona can stomp away. After throwing his shirt at Hyatt, Cardona chokes with the wrist tape and then his hand for a bonus. The running forearm drops Dickinson again and a neckbreaker gives Cardona two. It’s already door time but Cardona spends too much time mocking the crowd, allowing Dickinson to backdrop him through the door in the corner.

The slugout is on with Cardona going to the eyes, only to get blasted with a running clothesline. The brainbuster gives Dickinson two but Green offers a distraction, allowing Cardona to nail a spear for two. Missy finally grabs Cardona’s boot and slaps Green, allowing Dickinson to hit a Death Valley Driver for two of his own.

Green offers another distraction so Cardona can hit a low blow into the Rough Ryder for two. Now it’s Green coming in and hitting Cardona with Missy’s loaded purse by mistake, allowing Dickinson to clothesline her down. The toss Razor’s Edge is enough for Dickinson to pin both of them at once at 12:43.

Rating: C+. You really can see why the GCW fans can’t stand Cardona in this run as he is one of the most annoying and obnoxious heels you could want to see. He is playing up the idea of being a big shot and that is one of the best ways to get heat from anyone. Dickinson is a decent power guy and looked good here, though Missy kind of disappeared for large chunks of the match.

Biff Busick vs. Tony Deppen

Feeling out process to start with Deppen trying to go to the mat to little success. Back up and Busick goes to the armbar, which has Deppen bailing to the ropes. Busick chops the heck out of Deppen, whose chops back have no effect. They head outside with Busick uppercutting away but a chop only hits the post. With Busick trying to shake it off, Deppen hits a flip dive off the apron and they head back inside.

Busick is fine enough to knee him down and the figure four necklock sends Deppen to the ropes again. Back up and Busick gets a little more violent by holding Deppen in place for some slaps to the face. Deppen is smart enough to go after Busick’s bad hand but Busick hits a running uppercut to take him down again.

Busick misses a charge though and Deppen hits a suicide flip dive for two back inside. Back up and the slugout goes to Busick until Deppen goes for the hand and grabs a Kimura of all things. With that broken up, Busick wins another strike off but Deppen avoids a charge in the corner. A running knee finishes Busick at 11:40.

Rating: B-. Sometimes you need two people to hit each other really hard and you got at least half of that here with Busick’s beating. Busick might not be a star in the making, but he’s an established hard hitter in the middle of the card and that should be enough to get him quite a few jobs. At the same time, you have Deppen as one of the better heels I’ve seen in a bit, as he is just straight up unlikable. Keep going with that and he’ll be fine.

Post match Deppen thanks Busick for the match but tells anyone who doesn’t believe in him what they can kiss.

Mike Bailey vs. Jordan Oliver

Bailey does his bow and they shake hands to start. Oliver does his pose so Bailey kicks him in the face and strikes away but Oliver is back up with chops of his own. Bailey’s leapfrog is countered into a faceplant and Oliver sends him outside for a big dive. Some kicks send Oliver through some chairs though and Bailey knees him in the chest.

Back in and Bailey kicks him in the chest for two, followed by the YES Kicks to make it worse. Bailey hits a running kick to the face in the corner and they strike it out again. Oliver snaps off a release German suplex and a sitout powerbomb for two but Bailey sends him outside. There’s the springboard moonsault to the floor and they strike it out on the apron.

Bailey gets the better of things and hits the moonsault knees, setting up the bouncing kicks back inside. The big kick to the head looks to set up the Ultimate Weapon but Oliver counters it with a cutter. A handspring cutter gets two so Oliver goes up, only to get pulled down with something like a One Winged Angel for the pin at 10:01.

Rating: C+. As is usually the case with Bailey, the action was good but he continues to have such a punchable face that it is hard to get into his matches. The good thing here was he didn’t have the stupid no selling that drags down every good thing he does, making this slightly easier to watch than most of his matches. Oliver has come a long way but still has a good bit to go before he moves up to the next level.

Effy says he shouldn’t be here but tonight he’ll beat Minoru Suzuki, have his own show tomorrow, and then maybe he’ll come for some gold.

Effy vs. Minoru Suzuki

Allie Katch is here with Effy. They both stick their jaws out with offers of a free shot but Effy’s attempt at a kiss gets him slapped. Suzuki slaps him down and then a kick to the face puts Effy on the floor. They head outside with Effy telling him to chop as hard as he can. That’s fine with Suzuki, who mocks Effy’s return chops.

A big boot sends Effy through the chairs and Suzuki cranks on the arm back inside. Effy tries some forearms but gets dropped with a single one from Suzuki. Then Effy bites Suzuki’s nipple and northern lights suplexes him for two. The big kiss staggers Suzuki but it’s a slap to the face and the Gotch style piledriver to give Suzuki the pin at 9:04.

Rating: C. Effy’s stuff may or may not be your cup of tea but Suzuki more or less squashed him here in a match with little to no doubt about the outcome. Effy was doing little more than comedy here so it isn’t like there was much to get annoyed about. They were going for the “wouldn’t it be funny if these two wrestled” idea here and I’ve seen worse versions.

Greatest Clusterf***

So this is basically a Royal Rumble, but only in the very loosest of terms. There are no set time intervals and I don’t believe there is a set number of entrants. I’m not going to be able to keep track of all of the eliminations, as I’ve never seen a version of this where they are all announced. This is going to be about total chaos and some surprise entrants and nothing more. You can be eliminated by pinfall, submission, over the top, leaving the building and…death?

Joey Janela is in at #1 and Buff Bagwell is in at #2 for your first surprise. Granted Buff is on a crutch but he has the American Males theme so this could be a lot worse. Janela wants to strut with him but it’s a superkick to get rid of Buff very quickly. George Gatton, with an unidentified title, is in at #3 and it’s a superkick into a piledriver to get rid of him too. Judas Judd Cassidy (I think?) is in at #4 and gets thrown over the top just as fast.

Yoya is in at #5 and suplexes Janela but gets caught in a heck of a package piledriver for the pin. Billie Starkz is in at #6 and a Gory Bomb takes Janela down but he raises knees to block her Swanton. That’s it for Starkz and it’s Juicy Finau (a big guy) in at #7. Janela can’t suplex him so Finau does it to Janela instead and it’s the even larger Sam Stackhouse, in Bam Bam Bigelow inspired gear, in at #8.

That leaves Janela to get crushed in the corner by back to back splashes but Stackhouse misses an ugly moonsault. Janela tosses both of them and it’s Rhett Titus in at #9 as Janela keeps up his Brock Lesnar-esque run. Titus wrestles him down and hits the running boot in the corner until it’s the Invisible Man in at #10.

So we have the Invisible Man, Janela and Titus with Titus and the Man slugging it out. The Man gets the better of both of them but an elbow to the face lets Janela and Titus beat him down. A double suplex lets the two of them pose but Man is back with a double low blow. The Man throws out Titus but gets stomped down until Dante Leon is in at #11. They waste no time in the next entrant with Ninja Mack in at #12.

Leon and Mack are long time rivals so they pose at each other before superkicking Janela down. A shooting star piledriver drops Mack and it’s a sick looking Jimmy Lloyd in at #13. Janela and Lloyd put on masks and they rehash their Social Distancing match, meaning they punch from a safe distance. Mack isn’t having that and kicks Lloyd down, setting up the running flip dive to drop Janela on the floor. Back in and Lloyd runs Mack over for the pin and Early Morning Guy Steele is in at #14.

Steele doesn’t seem to know what he is doing and falls off the top as Janela and Lloyd watch from the middle of the ring. Then Steele gives them a running double Blockbuster and a Canadian Destroyer each. Then he goes up top for a 450 to Lloyd, only to get rolled up for the pin from Janela. That was a weird one and it’s Blake Christian in at #15. House is cleaned but the Invisible Man hits Christian low. That earns him a dropkick and it’s Kevin Blackwood in at #16.

Blackwood’s suplex gets two on Leon and stomps on Janela in the corner until Hoodfoot is in at #17. Hoodfoot and Blackwood slug it out until Slade is in at #18. Young Dumb And Broke (Charlie Tiger and Ellis Taylor) are in at #19 and #20, giving us Janela, Invisible Man, Leon, Lloyd, Christian, Blackwood, Hoodfoot, Slade, Tiger and Taylor as this is far more organized than I was expecting. Everyone hits everyone until Deranged is in at #21 to clean house. With that going nowhere, Grim Reefer is in at #22 and has a smoke.

We now pause for everyone to partake, including Janela, who says he isn’t with AEW anymore and can do what he wants. Janela runs to the back (I don’t think he’s been eliminated but who can tell around here?) and Sandra Moone is in at #23. Reefer clotheslines her down and it’s Parrow in at #24. House is cleaned with Deranged and Reefer being eliminated almost immediately.

Big F’N Vin is in at #25 as Janela is having some Cheetos. Vin kicks Parrow out without much trouble as Janela wants to know his next spot. Nate Webb is in at #26 and comes through the crowd, who sings his theme music. Lloyd gets dropped by the Invisible Man, who hammers on Webb in the corner. Janela superkicks the Invisible Man though and tosses him out, much to the fans’ annoyance. Webb misses a charge and gets low bridged to the floor and Hoodfoot is tossed as well.

Shazza McKenzie is in at #27 and goes after Janela to start the beating. Janela gets in a shot to the face though and grabs a door, only to have McKenzie spear him through it. Janai Kai is in at #28 and Jazzy Yang (Jimmy Wang’s daughter) follows her at #29. The four women in the match stare each other down and it’s Edith Surreal in at #30. That gives us Janela, Leon, Lloyd, Christian, Blackwood, Tiger, Ellis, Moone, Vin, McKenzie, Kai, Yang and Surreal, assuming I didn’t miss any random eliminations.

Dark Sheik, another woman, is in at #31 and we have a six woman showdown. Uh make that seven as LuFisto is in at #32. Some of the guys come in to go after the women, with Leon and Taylor being tossed out. The women all beat up Tiger and toss him out with Vin joining him. Then the women get into it, with Kai kicking out LuFisto. Moone is out as well and McKenzie hits a Stunner on Kai for the elimination. Janela comes back in to superkick McKenzie for the pin and it’s Maven of all people in at #33.

Everyone stops to look at him so Maven hits a bunch of dropkicks….and then walks out for an elimination. Fans: “THANK YOU MAVEN!” With everyone else pairing off, Sean Ross Sapp, yes the dirt sheet writer, is in at #34, drawing a WE WANT MELTZER chant. Sapp gets a mic and begs people to subscribe to Fightful Select so they can read about GCW wrestlers getting fired by AEW. Josh Barnett, former UFC Heavyweight Champion, is in at #35 but fellow writer Denise Salcedo (not in the match) comes in to low blow Sapp and toss him out.

Nasty Leroy is in at #36 and Barnett blasts him with a clothesline as Jimmy Wang Yang is in at #37. Yang manages to take him down (not the prettiest but it worked) so Jazzy (remember, Yang’s daughter) comes in to grab the leg, which apparently counts as a submission to get rid of Barnett. Jazzy rolls up Lloyd for an elimination and it’s Alec Price in at #38. Price tosses Yang and dances a bit before getting kicked in the face by Jazzy. That’s enough for Price to toss her as well and it’s Cole Radrick in at #39.

Radrick and Price wind up on the apron and it’s a double elimination. Brandon Kirk is in at #40, giving us Janela, Christian, Blackwood, Slade, Surreal, Sheik, Leroy and Kirk (I think at least). Sheik hits Kirk low as we’re told Slade has left the building. Janela runs the ropes a lot until Lord Adrean (a Wal-Mart Guy) is in at #41. Adrean cleans house and Tombstones Kirk for the elimination, only to get Death Valley Drivered by Janela for another elimination. Kevin Matthews (you might remember him as KM in Impact) is in at #42 and stares it down with Leroy.

A not great looking Rock Bottom plants Matthews and a worse Rock Bottom sets up a leglock for the tap as Janela busts a gut laughing. Then Janela hits Leroy low and pins him and it’s Nick Wayne in at #43 for a brawl on the apron with Janela. Wayne superkicks Janela out for one heck of a pop and here is B-Boy to introduce Team LA Fights, which are six unnamed people. The team (Jai Vidal and Jack Cartwheel are two of them) clean house and something like a Styles Clash into a sitout powerbomb gets rid of Blackwood.

With those six in at #44-49, the Second City Crew (AJ Gray/Mance Warner/Matthew Justice/1 Called Manders and Levi Everett) are in #50-#54. The Crew cleans house with Matt Vandagriff (of LA Fights) being tossed. Damian Drake and Ju Dizz (I think) are both out with Hunter Freeman joining them. Cartwheel gets knocked out but walks on his hands until Manders chairs him down for the elimination. Vidal is tossed out and the Crew is left alone until the others still in the match come in.

Christian and Wayne get together to toss Everett and Manders. Somehow Christian and Wayne are the last two with Christian hitting a quick Downward Spiral for the pin…and never mind as yeah there are some people still left. Sheik comes in off the top with a spinwheel kick and the rest of the Crew pile onto her for the pin. Christian goes after the Crew but gets taken down and superplexed into a top rope legdrop for the pin….and that’s it at 1:23:57 (I guess Surreal was tossed somewhere in there).

Rating: C+. To be clear, this match is not about something coherent or anything more than having one name after another. That being said, this was WAY more coherent than the previous edition and that helped a lot. This felt more like a very indy Royal Rumble and, save for Surreal, no one was getting lost in the whole thing. I had a good time with this and it did fly by with some fun moments. It’s the kind of match that I was expecting from a Spring Break and it went well, especially with all of the insanity that came with it.

Overall Rating: B-. This was more like the Spring Breaks of the past and it worked out pretty well all things considered. It was a collection of some fun matches before we got to the big main event and that wound up working well. Good stuff here and it didn’t feel like a regular GCW show. While those can be fun, it’s not what I came into this wanting. The main event is all that mattered here and the other four matches were a nice bonus so we’ll call this a success.

 

 

 

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Joey Janela’s Spring Break 6 Night 1: Wake Me When It’s Summer

Joey Janela’s Spring Break 6 Night One
Date: March 31, 2022
Location: Fair Park, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Kevin Gill, Lenny Leonard

This is probably the crown jewel of the indy shows over Wrestlemania Weekend, just because of how insane it can get. Janela’s shows have a tendency to be completely nuts with some incredibly fun stuff and surprises. I’m actually looking forward to this one just for the atmosphere so let’s get to it.

Tag Team Titles: Second Gear Crew vs. Briscoes vs. Nick Gage

Gage is defending on his own as his partner, Matt Tremont, couldn’t make the show. Like him or not, Gage continues to be over like free beer in a frat house. It’s a big brawl to start and the doors are already brought in. The Briscoes bring in some chairs as well but Warner chokeslams Jay through a door for two. Mark is back up and Swantons Warner, sitting in a chair, down for a big crash.

Gage grabs the broken door and drops a twisting Vader Bomb onto Warner before stopping for the MDK chants. A piece of the table is used to carve up Warner’s head….and here is Slade to throw Gage a pizza cutter. Apparently Slade is Gage’s partner and he’ll carve up Warner’s head as well. Then Slade cuts himself because these people are not normal. Jay is back up to clean house, including Redneck Boogie to Slade.

Justice comes in with some chair shots and let’s bridge a door over some open chairs. Gage is up with some chair shots and now it’s time for a staple gun. Warner’s tongue is stapled to the door (good grief) but a piledriver through the door rips it free. Back in and Jay hits a Jay Driller into a Froggy Bow to give Mark two, with Slade making the save. Slade tries to fight off the Briscoes but it’s a Doomsday Device to give Jay the pin and the titles at 11:15.

Rating: C+. The nutty violence aside (hopefully far aside), this was an energetic match with the Briscoes adding some credibility to the whole thing. As much as I can’t stand Gage, he is the biggest star in the world to this audience and starting the show with him is a smart thing to do. Let him go out there and pop the crowd like no one else in GCW and get the show off to a hot start, especially if he is going to lose the titles with an out.

Post match the Briscoes celebrate before leaving Gage to get a hero’s applause.

Allie Katch is sitting in a room with candles around. Tonight she is facing Mickie James, who isn’t her dream match, but rather her fantasy. We get the infamous Mickie finger lick from the Trish Stratus match as this took a sharp turn.

Jeff Jarrett gets in his car, thinks he sees someone behind him, gets out to check, finds nothing, and gets back in.

AR Fox vs. Blake Christian

This should be fun and Fox’s wife Ayla is here with him. The fans are behind Christian as he flips out of a headscissors to start. Fox kicks him away and we get a staredown into a handshake. A dropkick sends Christian into the corner for a running clothesline but Christian picks the pace right back up. Christian’s dropkick into a nipup but Fox sends him outside for a heck of a running dive.

Fox gets a running charge for a boot to the face in the chairs but Christian drops him with a hard shot of his own. Back in and Christian hits a low superkick but can’t get a Border City Stretch. Instead Fox bails to the floor, allowing Christian to take him down with a dive of his own. Fox is fine enough to hit a twisting suplex for two and it’s time to slug it out.

Both of them try a cutter at the same time and we get a double breather. It’s Fox up with a rolling cutter into a rolling cutter for two but Christian hits Three Amigos, because Eddie Guerrero. A frog splash, also because Eddie Guerrero, gives Christian two but Fox is back up with Lo Mein Pain (middle rope Spanish Fly, which I’m guessing is somehow connected to Eddie Guerrero is well). Fox hits a 450 for two but Christian grabs a Spanish Fly into a wind up double arm DDT (that’s different, and called the Golden Trident) for the pin at 12:37.

Rating: B-. Yeah this was a fun one as Fox is about as much of a guaranteed good match as you’ll find on the indies. He’s just smooth in the ring and works well with anyone so this couldn’t have gone much better. Christian has been popping up more and more lately and you can see the talent in him. He’ll need something to make him stand out more but so far so pretty good.

Mickie James vs. Allie Katch

Effy is here with Katch. They fight over a lockup to start as we talk about what James has done so far this year. Katch takes her down but James flips up and we have a standoff. Mickie grabs a snapmare to set up a running kick to the chest but Katch is right back for the chop exchange.

The hurricanrana out of the corner is countered with a (rather enthusiastic) Katch powerbomb for two so Mickie kicks her low. Katch is fine enough to kick her down in the corner for a Cannonball and let’s bring in a door. Instead of, you know, using it, Katch knees her in the face to knock Mickie silly.

That means it’s time to load up two chairs and a door over them but Mickie flapjacks her through it instead. The top rope Thesz press gives Mickie two but the MickieDT is broken up. With neither going anywhere, they trade crotch grabs until a headbutt drops Mickie for two more. Back up and Mickie kisses Katch, kicks her in the face, and grabs the MickieDT for the pin at 11:18.

Rating: C+. Katch is someone who shows her potential every time she’s in there and it’s good for her to work with a legend like James, who can make her that much better. The match was pretty good as well, with the two of them hitting each other rather hard, though the violence was out of place. They also went a bit too far with the callbacks to Mickie vs. Trish Stratus, but the good parts were good enough to carry this far enough.

Post match Katch gets on the fans for booing James, because there is no Katch without James. Oh and that was the first ever women’s match at Spring Break. How is that possible?

Ninja Mack vs. Alec Price vs. Gringo Loco vs. Jack Cartwheel vs. Jimmy Lloyd vs. Jordan Oliver vs. Nick Wayne

One fall to a finish because we need a scramble match. They stare each other down to start and lock knuckles before going into the big series of kicks to the head. Everyone misses some kind of running splash and it’s another seven way staredown a minute in. The dives to the floor take some people down, setting up Loco’s big dive onto everyone else. Back in and Price hits an Alberto double stomp on Loco, followed by Cartwheel sweeping Lloyd’s legs.

Wayne tries to flip back in but gets sent ribs first into the corner by Lloyd. We settle down to Wayne vs. Oliver in a slugout until Oliver blocks a moonsault with raised knees. Cartwheel comes in to clear the ring but gets taken down by Mack for a twisting moonsault. Loco dives onto a bunch of people, leaving Cartwheel to knock Price outside as well. Cartwheel hits his own dive and Wayne is back in with a springboard Ace Cutter for the pin on Lloyd at 8:11.

Rating: C+. This was every scramble match you’ve seen in a long time, as there is little that anyone can do to make themselves stand out in a match like this one. There are seven people in a match that got just over eight minutes. Wayne is someone I’ve heard a good deal about for the last few months and I haven’t seen much of him. After this, I still haven’t as he barely got any time to shine with everyone else in there at the same time.

Joey Janela vs. X-Pac

This should be….something. X-Pac looks great and Janela is in Razor Ramon style gear, as a rather horrible way to get into X-Pac’s head. Janela knocks him into the corner to start and chops away but has to duck a spinning kick to the head. The Bronco Buster misses as well so Janela heads outside, where X-Pac hits a running seated senton off the apron.

Janela is fine enough to post X-Pac seems rather pleased with the fans hating him (makes you wonder why they bought tickets to JOEY JANELA’S Spring Break but oh well). The boos turn into dueling chants as Janela grabs a chair and pulls X-Pac back inside. X-Pac fights out of the chinlock and grabs a tornado DDT for a much needed breather. Now the spinning kick to the head connects and they head to the apron, where Janela is fine enough to grab a Death Valley Driver.

It’s time to set up a door over a pair of chairs but Janela takes too long, allowing X-Pac to come back with a slingshot flip dive to put him through the door instead. The X-Factor gets two back inside but Janela pulls him into a Crossface. With that broken up, Janela pulls in a bunch of other plunder, meaning it’s another door bridged over two chairs, because that worked so well earlier.

Janela takes WAY too long setting that up and going to the top, meaning it’s a super X-Factor through the door….for two as Janela gets a foot on the rope. Back up and Janela hits a super brainbuster for two and a double stomp through the door gets two more. Janela goes up again and gets shoved off the top and through another door at ringside. Back in and X-Pac chairs Janela down but a low blow and superkick lets Janela get the pin at 19:23.

Rating: C. This match just got on my nerves as X-Pac was doing his thing and trying to have a match while Janela was doing every stupid stunt that he could, none of which he bothered to sell. I know Janela is a big deal around here but you could see the difference in quality here and it was annoying seeing this be all about Janela. X-Pac might not be some all time legend (though he was very good), but he deserved better than this.

Post match X-Pac thanks the fans and puts over GCW, which he says is his family today. If you’re not down with X-Pac and GCW, he has two words for you.

GCW World Title: Jon Moxley vs. AJ Gray

Moxley is defending and Gray’s Extreme Title isn’t on the line. They start a bit slowly with Moxley taking him into the corner but getting shoved away. Gray takes the leg out and nails a spinwheel kick to the face to drop the champ (at least the one defending). A slugout goes to Gray and they head outside where Moxley suckers him in and takes the fight into the crowd.

You can’t actually see what they’re doing for a bit until Moxley gets into an open space and poses a bit before being knocked back to ringside by a bloody Gray. Moxley is fine enough to suplex Gray at ringside and it’s time for a barbed wire door. A release suplex drops Gray onto said barbed wire onto said door before Moxley stabs him with some barbed wire sheers. The barbed wire is used for a low blow and then wrapped around Gray’s face to make it worse.

A neckbreaker, with barbed wire, gives Moxley two and it’s off to an STF, complete with more barbed wire. Since that isn’t violent enough, Moxley puts the barbed wire door up in the corner and is speared (or kind of shoved) through it, due to wrestling rule #37. Gray hits a moonsault, mainly on Moxley’s face, for two and it’s ladder time, because of course it is. That’s not enough so here’s a door to go with it, with the ladder set at ringside and the door on some chairs close enough to it.

An STO on the apron rocks Moxley again and Gray elbows him off the ladder through the door. Back in and they get up to slug it out, because that kind of a spot is just there in a match like this. Gray blasts him with a lariat for two and it’s time for some….light tubes wrapped in barbed wire. That’s so stupid it even has Moxley backing up, only to come back with a jumping cutter onto the tubes for two. That and a piledriver get two, followed by a Death Rider onto more light tubes to retain the title at 22:18.

Rating: C. The match felt big, but every time they started to get something going, the violence got to be too much. The bigger thing here though was Moxley’s star power, which was more than enough to carry the match. Gray is someone who has impressed me just about every time I’ve seen him and he was good here, but as usual, the light tubes and doors were too much for it to be that great.

Post match they shake hands and respect is show.

Ultraviolent Title: John Wayne Murdoch vs. Alex Colon

Murdoch is challenging and Colon has beaten him a few times before. Colon has a bunch of belts around his waist and shoulders, most of which aren’t identified. Murdoch isn’t about to wait and hits him in the head with some light tubes during the Big Match Intros so we’re starting fast. Some whips send Colon into a variety of things in the corner and against the ropes before tossing him off the top, through a table covered with more light tubes.

Colon is already busted so Murdoch drives more glass into the head. Back in and Colon whips him through a door in the corner, followed by a running knee to drive light tubes into Murdoch’s chest. Then Colon stabs himself with broken tubes, which he then drives into Murdoch’s head. They headbutt it out on the floor before coming back inside, where Colon hits him with another light tube.

More light tubes do the same thing as the previous light tubes but Murdoch pops up and hits a piledriver. Colon pops back up and sends Murdoch outside, setting up a suicide dive with a light tube. Murdoch avoids a charge into the post and we pause as Colon might be seriously injured. Colon’s bloody arm is covered in a towel so Murdoch suplexes him onto more light tubes for two. A board to the arm sets up a cross armbreaker to give Murdoch the title at 13:48.

Rating: D. I can’t stand this kind of match as it’s the same stuff over and over. How many times are you supposed to hit someone with a light tube before it stops meaning anything? In this case it would be about two out of the thirty or so tubes they probably used before a dumb ending. What is there to say here? You had two guys hit each other with light tubes over and over until someone won. Rather downer of a main event and that’s never a good thing.

Post match Murdoch talks a lot of trash and tells Colon to get out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The show was actually pretty ok for the most part, save for a terrible main event. Swap in Moxley, who felt like a much bigger star, into that spot and the show is better, but still not great. Spring Break has always been one of the more fun shows over Wrestlemania weekend and that really wasn’t the case here. It’s not an awful show, but there is nothing memorable or overly fun here and that hurt things a lot. Mickie James and X-Pac are cool, but they aren’t enough to make the show feel all that important. Hopefully night two is better though, because this was the least memorable Spring Break show to date.

 

 

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Rampage – August 5, 2022: More Of The Same

Rampage
Date: August 5, 2022
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commentators: Excalibur, Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross

We’re a day away from Battle Of The Belts and that is probably not going to mean very much. Other than that, we have a street fight this week between Keith Lee/Swerve Strickland and Josh Woods/Tony Nese, after Woods attacked Lee last week. In addition, Madison Rayne will be making her AEW debut which could be interesting. Let’s get to it.

Here is Dynamite if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Jon Moxley vs. Mance Warner

Non-title and William Regal is on commentary. Before the match, we get a video from Warner, who is quite the Tennessee style talker. He promises to fight Moxley (rather than dance with him) because he has heard Moxley talk about how much he loves to bleed. Now Ole Mancer is here to become the man. It’s a brawl in the aisle to start with Warner sending him into the steps before biting Moxley’s head.

They get inside for the bell and are back on the floor literally two seconds later. Moxley gets sent into the barricade and there’s a crotching on the barricade to make it worse. A clothesline knocks Moxley down again and they head inside but he tied Warner’s leg in the ropes. There’s a running dropkick to the ropes to set up a Figure Four but Warner is out without much trouble.

Back up and they trade right hands in the corner before going outside again. Moxley gets whipped hard into the steps but he’s back up with a suplex. They head inside but are right back outside (again) to fight on the steps. Warner hits a DDT onto said steps and we take a break. Back with Warner stomping on the ankle and hitting a not great spinebuster for two. A boot to Moxley’s bloody face gets two and Warner grabs a chair, which is forearmed into Warner’s head.

Now Warner is busted open as well, which offers a good target for Moxley’s suicide dive into the barricade. Back in and a superplex sets up the hammer and elbow elbows, though Moxley’s arm is hurt from forearming the chair. Warner hits him with a clothesline and they’re both down. The cover from Warner is countered into a Kimura before Moxley stomps away at the head. A piledriver sets up more stomping and Moxley chokes him out at 11:37.

Rating: C+. Yes it’s another Moxley brawl with blood and again it doesn’t get to stand out after how many times we have seen it. Warner is a good talker but his stuff between the bells doesn’t exactly stand out. It’s a bunch of whipping people into things and hitting them with weapons, which gets repetitive fast. Having both of them in the same match didn’t exactly hit a high level, though it was a decent brawl.

At Dynamite, Ricky Starks was interrupted by the Factory. QT Marshall offers Starks protection from the team (which now includes Kole Carter) but he isn’t interested in help, either from Marshall or Aaron Solo.

Ryan Nemeth vs. Konosuke Takeshita

Takeshita avoids a charge to start and hits a running boot in the corner as the fans seem rather invested here. Peter Avalon, in Nemeth’s corner, grabs Takeshita’s leg though and Nemeth starts kneeing away. Takeshita is right back up with a Blue Thunder Bomb and the running knee finishes Nemeth at 1:40. Well that’s how you build someone up for tomorrow’s title match.

Post match Avalon goes after Takeshita and gets kneed down for his efforts.

At Dynamite, Orange Cassidy and the Best Friends aren’t thrilled with how they’re doing as of late but think they do their best as a trio. They’re in for the Trios Title tournament, but Dr. Danhausen comes in to make it four. Because he’s a doctor too.

Madison Rayne vs. Leila Grey

Stokely Hathaway is here with Grey. They lock up to start with Grey driving her into the corner for a forearm to the chest. The frustration sets in for Rayne and they go to a series of standing switches. Some rollups gives Rayne some near falls and we hit the armbar to keep Grey in trouble.

Back up and Grey misses a charge into the corner but Hathaway jumps up and down on the steps for a rather obvious distraction. Grey knocks her off the apron and we take a break. Back with Rayne striking away and getting two off a northern lights suplex. Rayne hits a sliding lariat into Cross Raynes (yes Cross Raynes) to finish Grey at 8:29.

Rating: C. Rayne is an interesting veteran to bring in as the fans are going to know who she is and she can wrestle a good enough match. There are multiple women above her though and she is only going to draw so much interest. This was about what I expected and now Rayne can move on to do whatever else, though she might be better suited as a coach than a regular competitor.

Post match Jade Cargill comes out and issues the challenge to Rayne for next week’s Dynamite. Rayne is in and even takes out the invading Kiera Hogan.

Video on the Lucha Bros vs. La Faccion Ingobernable in a tornado tag.

Mark Sterling doesn’t think much of Keith Lee/Swerve Strickland, who are ready to face Tony Nese/Josh Woods in a street fight.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Keith Lee/Swerve Strickland vs. Tony Nese/Josh Woods

Non-title falls count anywhere and Mark Sterling is here with Nese and Woods. It’s a brawl on the floor to start with Woods driving Strickland into the barricade. They trade off with a drop toehold sending Nese into the barricade, leaving Woods to get forearmed in the face. Nese is back up with some protein powder in Lee’s face but that’s about it for offense, as Strickland grabs a toolbox and launches it, only to hit the steps.

As Lee gets some water for his eyes, Woods forearms Swerve in the face and grabs a twisting suplex to send him into the steps. We take a break and come back with Lee saving Strickland from being powerbombed off the apron and through a table. Lee can’t stop Nese from kicking Strickland in the face but he can break up a cover at two. Everyone gets back in with Lee cleaning house but Nese dropkicks a chair into his face. A double DDT onto a chair gets two as Strickland 450s in for the save.

Now we get a table set up, but Sterling comes in with a wrench (from the toolbox) to knock Strickland silly. Lee is back up with a headbutt to Nese and throws Sterling off the top and through the table. Woods still can’t suplex Lee off the apron and through more tables but Nese adds a suplex and the superplex does indeed drive Lee down hard. Nese brings in a bunch of chairs but gets backdropped onto them instead. The Swerve Stomp onto the chairs is enough to give Strickland the pin at 13:56.

Rating: B-. I’m not sure what to think about something like this, as it’s another weapons based brawl which we seem to have almost every week or so. Lee and Strickland are a rather good team and they did well here, but I could go a little while without seeing Nese, who never seems to win anything. There are so many good teams around here but Lee and Strickland are facing a makeshift team with Mark Sterling. I’m not sure I get that one.

Overall Rating: C+. Pretty good show here, but the amount of time spent on hardcore or weapons stuff around here gets annoying at times. Rayne vs. Grey was the only match here to get some time and not have a bunch of weapons stuff involved. There are talented wrestlers around here and they don’t need the stuff going on to make their matches interesting. The show was good enough, but it felt like they were tacking on a bunch of extra stuff that didn’t need to be there, which tends to be a recurring theme for AEW.

Results
Jon Moxley b. Mance Warner – Bulldog choke
Konosuke Takeshita b. Ryan Nemeth – Running knee
Madison Rayne b. Leila Grey – Cross Raynes
Keith Lee/Swerve Strickland b. Tony Nese/Josh Woods – Swerve Stomp onto chairs to Nese

 

 

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Ric Flair’s Last Match: Please Be The Last One

Ric Flair’s Last Match
Date: July 31, 2022
Location: Nashville Fairgrounds, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, David Crockett, Ian Riccaboni

We had to get here eventually and I’m not that happy about it. This is a show that I haven’t really wanted to watch since it was announced and that hasn’t changed since. While I absolutely respect what he did in the ring, I’m not the biggest Flair fan and seeing him do something this risky isn’t something I particularly needed to see. The good thing is that this is a full show and the undercard looks pretty awesome, but it’s all leading to one thing and that has me dreading the show. Let’s get to it.

This is billed as a Jim Crockett Promotions event for old times’ sake.

Pre-Show: Ren Narita vs. Yuya Uemura

They go with the grappling to start and get to a standoff as Crockett seemingly has no idea who either of them are. Tony doesn’t either, but at least he seems more interested. Narita gets the better of a chop off (Crockett: “They wish they could be Ric Flair.”) and kicks him in the back a few times, only to run into a dropkick.

A running clothesline in the corner sets up a running bulldog out of the corner before starting in on the arm. Something close to Antonio Inoki’s cobra twist has Narita in trouble but he comes back with a German suplex for two. Back up and they slug it out until Narita counters a charge into a belly to belly suplex with a bridge for the pin at 5:58.

Rating: C. This isn’t designed to be a great match or anything close to it but they were able to go out there and do their moves until one of them got the pin. That isn’t a bad thing and it works very well for a spot like this. Good enough match here as Narita and Uemura continue to showcase themselves well and grow in front of your eyes.

Bunkhouse Battle Royal

Sinn Bodhi, James Storm, Bully Ray, Mance Warner, 1 Called Manders, Gringo Loco, Kommander, Joey Janela, Kal Herro, Big Damo, Blake Christian, Crimson, Jordan Oliver, Rickey Shane Page, Wolfie D, Effy, Matthew Justice, Crowbar

It’s a brawl to start (of course) but after about a minute, here is Nick Gage to lead a GCW invasion, as he promised last night at a GCW show. Storm hits Herro with the Eye of the Storm and tosses him out and there goes Damo as well. Some double teaming takes Crimson out and Loco moonsaults out onto Damo to eliminate himself. Kommander runs the top rope and eliminates himself as well and Janela tosses Wolfie D.

Bodhi whips out a spare ring rope for some choking but gets kicked out. Effy crotches Crowbar on top and plays D-Von in an old What’s Up. The Ray tosses him, as well as Justice, Manders and Oliver in a roll. We’re down to Warner, Ray, Storm and Janela, with the latter two being knocked out. Ray drops Warner and loads up a table, with Warner being powerbombed through. Then Warner tosses him to win at 11:23.

Rating: D+. You’re only going to be able to get so much out of this as it was a pretty fast battle royal with an invasion angle going on in the middle. Warner winning is fine, and it was nice to see them go that route instead of the expected way with Storm or Ray. Not much to see here, but you know what you’re getting with a battle royal.

Warner wins a cowboy boot and belt buckle because of course he does.

Bob Caudle (92 years old on Tuesday) welcomes us to the show and sends us to ringside.

Motor City Machine Guns vs. American Wolves

Scott D’Amore is on commentary and Chris Sabin works on Davey Richards’ wrist to start. Richards spins out and kicks the arm for the break, only to get armdragged into the corner. Edwards comes in but Shelley tags himself in and slaps on a sleeper. The Guns start taking over in the corner with the alternating kicks but Richards comes back in for a cheap shot. Some alternating kicks put Shelley down and commentary starts making Rock N Roll Express vs. Midnight Express comparisons.

Richards puts Shelley down and gets a running start to kick Sabin off the apron. The Wolves grab stereo submissions but Sabin Edwards away and into the other two for the double break. Richards dragon screw legwhips Shelley’s knee onto the ropes but misses a top rope double stomp. Shelley takes both Wolves down at once and the hot tag brings in Sabin to clean house.

The missile dropkick/Downward Spiral combination drops Richards for two but Edwards is back in with a superkick. Edwards’ backpack Stunner sets up the top rope double stomp with Sabin having to make a save. Sabin cutters Edwards and it’s the Dream Sequence for Richards. Skull and Crossbones finishes Edwards at 10:49.

Rating: B-. This was the kind of hot opening match you want to have and it worked well. These teams are going to have a solid match against each other through talent alone and that was on display here. The Guns are one of the best teams of their generation and the Wolves were good if you can handle Richards, making this a fast paced opener, as it was designed to be.

Video on some great moments of Jim Crockett Promotions.

Various wrestlers are here, including Vickie Guerrero, Santino Marella, Al Snow and Mick Foley.

Killer Kross vs. Davey Boy Smith Jr.

This is an MLW showcase. Scarlett Bordeaux is here with Kross, who has hair for a weird look. Smith drives him into the corner for a clean break to start so Kross takes it to the mat. The headscissors is escaped with a nip up and Smith cranks on the arm. The hammerlock goes on and we go to a wide shot for no apparent reason. They trade belly to back suplexes before a slugout goes to Smith. Back up and Kross pulls him into the Krossjacket but Smith flips back to escape. A t-bone suplex drops Bulldog again and it’s the Quickening (running forearm to the back of the head) to finish for Kross at 5:25.

Rating: C. They kept this one quick but the only thing that mattered was the belly to back suplexes. Smith is someone who should have all of the tools to be a top star but the lack of charisma hurts him a good bit. Then you have Kross, who feels like a killer (appropriately enough) and just isn’t that great in the ring. Mix those two together and you have something, but for now it’s two people missing something important.

More legends (Booker T., Shawn Michaels), plus Will Sasso, talk about what Ric Flair means.

Jonathan Gresham vs. Konosuke Takeshita vs. Alan Angels vs. Nick Wayne

The winner gets a future Progress World Title shot and I’ve never actually seen Wayne. He gets A LOT of praise though but I’ve never seen a match. Ian Riccaboni joins commentary to spruce things up a bit. Gresham seems a bit more enthusiastic here than he did at Death Before Dishonor. Angels and Gresham start things off but Gresham is sent outside and since lucha rules (because of course it is), Wayne comes in and sends Angels outside. Takeshita comes in with a running clothesline to put Wayne on the floor but it’s too early for the dive.

Gresham is back in to kick Takeshita down but Angels takes Takeshita’s place. Back in and Takeshita forearms Angels down before blasting him with a clothesline. Wayne grabs a Code Red for two on Angels but has to flip out of Takeshita’s German suplex. The Blue Thunder Bomb drops Wayne for two and everything breaks down. Angels and Wayne moonsault off the top and out to the floor for the big crash. Back in and Gresham drops Takeshita and Wayne, setting up the suicide dive to Angels. Gresham takes Angels back in and, after shrugging off the cradle attempt, tied Angels up for the rollup pin at 5:38.

Rating: C+. This was a fast paced match with so much crammed in that it felt like it could have been twice that long. Gresham is the most successful star here and him going on to the title match makes sense, though Wayne was looking smooth while he was in there. Takeshita was good as usual, with Angels continuing to be fast but small, which leaves him as just kind of a person.

Cody Rhodes sends in a video talking about how great he and his dad both think Flair is.

Rock N Roll Express vs. Brian Pillman Jr./Brock Anderson

That would be Ricky and Kerry Morton with Robert Gibson in their corner to counter Arn Anderson. Pillman and Brock have the 1990s Horsemen shirts to make things extra awesome. Nick Aldis joins commentary as the revolving door continues. I’m not sure if the bell rang but Pillman and Kerry start things off with Pillman taking him down without much trouble. They trade wristlock reversals until Kerry kicks him in the face to take over.

Pillman gets caught between the Mortons and pingponged back and forth with right hands. Brock comes in and wants Ricky, who kicks him into the corner and hammers away. It’s back to Kerry for the double dropkick but Brock takes Kerry into the corner for the tag off to Pillman. Kerry manages to send Brock into Pillman in the corner for a breather and the hot tag brings in Ricky. Everything breaks down and a Pillman cheap shot sends Ricky into a gordbuster to give Brock the pin at 7:39.

Rating: C. I get what they were going for here and the Express vs. Horsemen theme was a good idea, but Ricky and Kerry doesn’t have the same ring as Ricky and Robert. Pillman is someone else who seems to have a bunch of the tools but it hasn’t quite clicked yet. The match was another case where it wasn’t bad, but nothing I’ll remember in about five minutes.

JJ Dillon is here.

Bandido vs. Black Taurus vs. Laredo Kid vs. Rey Fenix

It’s a brawl to start with Taurus clearing the ring early on. Fenix and Kid are left alone with Kid shrugging off a chop and hitting a tornado DDT. A tiger driver plants Fenix but Kid misses a dive. Taurus comes back in and gets kicked in the face in the corner. Bandido is back in as well and gets caught with a rolling cutter from Fenix. Bandido sends Fenix outside and hits the one armed gorilla press on Kid.

There’s the running headscissors on Taurus but Kid knocks Bandido outside. Taurus dives onto everyone at ringside and then beats them up back inside as well. Bandido catches Taurus up top but he’s fine enough to super gorilla press Kid back down. Everyone is staggered and Taurus is sent outside, where Bandido nearly breaks his neck on a dive but manages to turn it into a Destroyer on the floor.

Bandido takes Kid up top for a super backflip fall away slam down onto Taurus and Fenix and everyone is down on the floor again. Back in and Taurus plants Bandido but Fenix makes the save with a top rope double stomp. Fenix’s Samoan driver finishes Taurus at 11:50.

Rating: B. When you put these four on the card, you do it so they can have a match like this. They had a very entertaining match with all kinds of high spots and fast paced action, which is all you would have needed here. It’s not about making sense or having any logic behind it, but rather about popping the crowd every chance they can. As usual, it worked.

Jim Ross wishes Flair well and thanks him for everything.

We recap Impact Wrestling World Champion Josh Alexander defending against Jacob Fatu. This is the match that got my attention more than anything else so this should be a heck of a fight.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Josh Alexander vs. Jacob Fatu

Alexander is defending and Fatu is part of the Anoa’i family with the nickname of the Samoan Werewolf. Tom Hannifan joins commentary this time around. Fatu charges at him to start and Alexander hammers away in the corner. Back up and Fatu uppercuts his way out of trouble, only to get elbowed in the face. Alexander starts cranking on the ankle but Fatu, who is built like Umaga, is back up with a running hurricanrana.

Fatu goes up but gets superplexed right back down. That doesn’t slow Fatu down, as he runs the corner and hits the Whisper In The Wind into a handspring moonsault, because he can do that. The running hip attack misses in the corner though and Alexander is back to the ankle. A powerbomb onto the knee gets two on Fatu, who is sent out to the apron.

Fatu’s slingshot is broken up and the running crossbody to the back puts him on the floor. Fatu is fine enough to run Alexander over and the top rope moonsault gets two back inside. Alexander manages to roll some German suplexes, only to walk into a pop up Samoan drop. Then Mark Sterling and the Major Players run in to jump them both for the DQ at 10:30.

Rating: B. Yeah this worked and the ending was about all they could have done. You don’t want one of the top stars of either promotion losing so doing the run-in is as logical as it gets. I could still go for Fatu to get a spot on a major roster at some point in the future because he is one of those freak athletes you do not find very often. Alexander continues to be one of the best stars going today and having him as the centerpiece of Impact is a great idea. Good match here and I expected nothing less.

Post match the beatdown is on but Diamond Dallas Page of all people runs in and Diamond Cutters Matt Cardona for the save.

An attempt at an interview with Jeff Jarrett finds his father Jerry Jarrett….and Jerry Lawler too. Lawler helped train Jeff so he’s ready to see Flair lose in his last match. Flair stole the strut from Jackie Fargo and ran out of Memphis the first time he faced Lawler, so it’s time to get rid of him for good. Lawler can still cut a fine enough heel promo.

Briscoes vs. Von Erichs

That would be Marshall and Ross Von Erich, Kevin’s sons. Ian Riccaboni is back on commentary as Mark takes Ross down to start. Marshall comes in to slam Mark but it’s off to Jay for a running clothesline. The Briscoes take over on Ross in the corner and the Von Erichs are sent outside for a big dive from Jay.

Back in and Jay hammers on Ross but a shot from Marshall puts the Briscoes in trouble for a change. That doesn’t last long as Jay gets over for the tag off to Mark and house is cleaned in a hurry. A shotgun dropkick sends Marshall into the corner as everything breaks down. Redneck Boogie is broken up and Marshall’s claw slam only gets two. Jay’s neckbreaker sets up the Froggy Bow to finish Marshall at 7:48.

Rating: C+. I haven’t seen the Von Erichs in a bit and they have gotten a bit better since then. It’s nice to see them looking more polished in the ring, which comes with experience. That being said, the Briscoes are one of the best teams of this generation and there is no shame in losing to a team that good. Nice enough match here, but the Von Erichs were overmatched.

Sting is grateful for Ric Flair.

We recap Jordynne Grace defending the Impact Knockouts Title against Rachael Ellering and Deonna Purrazzo. Not much of a story here but we need a women’s match on the show.

Impact Wrestling Knockouts Title: Jordynne Grace vs. Deonna Purrazzo vs. Rachael Ellering

Grace is defending. They trade the rapid fire rollups to start with no one being able to get anywhere. Purrazzo is sent outside so Grace and Ellering shake hands before starting up as well. Grace sends her into the corner and hits the running knees to the back, with Ellering seems to have hurt her ankle. Purrazzo is back up and sent right back to the floor, leaving Ellering to hit an STO into a middle rope spinning legdrop for two on Grace.

Back in and Purrazzo can’t get the Queen’s Gambit on Grace so Ellering comes in to beat on both of them. Grace spinebusters Ellering, who gets caught in a Fujiwara armbar from Purrazzo. With that being a problem, Grace grabs a choke on Purrazzo for the break. Back up and the Grace Driver plants Purrazzo and a rear naked choke makes Ellering tap to retain Grace’s title at 9:11.

Rating: C+. Another match that was fairly fast paced but without a ton of drama for the main event. Grace is a heck of a powerhouse and a good champion while Purrazzo has been the star of the division for a good chunk of the year. That left Ellering there to take the fall and it came at the end of a perfectly decent match.

We recap the main event, which is Ric Flair having his last match because he wanted to do it one more time. Then Jay Lethal no showed a podcast so Flair ripped into him, despite the two of them being friends. Jeff Jarrett wasn’t pleased so he and Lethal beat Flair down, drawing blood, because of course they did. Flair got Andrade El Idolo, his son-in-law, and the tag match is set. If this sounds not so great, it’s because it isn’t.

Undertaker and Michelle McCool are sitting next to Mick Foley.

Ric Flair/Andrade El Idolo vs. Jay Lethal/Jeff Jarrett

Karen Jarrett is here with Jeff and Jay. Jeff even shoves Conrad Thompson during his entrance so you know it’s serious. Flair, wearing the Big Gold Belt (looks to be the original too), uses the WWE version of his theme with the WOO to start. Kid Rock is at ringside (because of course he is) and Flair is wrestling in a sleeveless shirt, which is probably best for everyone at the moment. Flair and Jarrett start things off but it’s off to Lethal before anything big happens.

Lethal takes him down without much trouble and we’re at an early standoff. A headlock takeover takes Lethal over but he’s back up for an exchange of slaps in the corner. Lethal wants Andrade, who springboards in, making this a pretty run of the mill match instead of what we’re here to see. Some elbows to the face put Andrade in trouble but he’s fine enough to hiptoss Jarrett.

Flair comes in so Jarrett bails before hitting that strut. An Irish whip is blocked and Flair does his own strut, plus a crotch chop for fun. Flair chops away and kicks an interfering Lethal low, which is enough to send Jarrett up the aisle for a breather. Back in and Andrade gets in some kicks to Lethal’s ribs, allowing Flair to choke away in the corner. Some chops put Lethal down and Andrade comes back in, only to get taken down as well.

Now Jarrett can come in to stomp away, setting up another strut. Lethal’s Black Machismo (a name that has Crockett VERY confused) ax handle gets two on Andrade and the basement dropkick gets the same. Andrade counters a belly to back suplex from Jarrett but they bump heads for a double knockdown. The tag brings in Flair, who gets a Figure Four on Lethal but Jeff makes the save.

Karen slips in a high heel to bust Flair open, meaning Megan Flair (Ric’s daughter/Conrad’s wife) goes after her for the catfight over the barricade. Flair pokes Lethal in the eye to escape but gets taken back inside, where you can see him being VERY blown up. Lethal hits a suplex with Andrade having to make a save, leaving Lethal to hammer away even more. Hail To The King misses though and the tag brings in Andrade to clean house. A middle rope DDT gets two on Jarrett and Lethal superkicks Jarrett by mistake.

Andrade poisonranas Lethal and the ref is bumped, which is all this match needed. Flair tags in, despite laying on the apron at the time. Flair literally crawls over to Lethal for a cover but there’s no referee, so Jarrett brings in the guitar. That hits Lethal by mistake (duh) so Conrad throws Andrade some brass knuckles. Flair uses them on Jarrett and the Figure Four goes on. Cue another referee so Flair can pin the unconscious Jarrett (in the Figure Four) at 26:48.

Rating: D+. That’s about as generous as I can go as this was one of the hardest things I’ve sat through in a good while. Flair looked every bit of 73 years old out there and that was one of the worst possible outcomes. Seeing him laying on the apron and barely able to move was sad and the match was overbooked beyond belief in ways it didn’t need to be. If this is a ten minute match and they keep things as quick as they can go, it could have worked, but trying for some epic deal was a horrible idea.

The other problem is who was in there with him. I know there is a history/connection with most of them, but you would have go to pretty far down the list of Flair’s history to find Lethal and Jarrett. It comes off more like “here’s the best we can get to say yes” rather than someone special. The other problem is that needing them to be in the ring so long so Flair can recover left us with an only so interesting handicap match.

All in all, this is about what you had to expect: Flair talking up the match rather well and not being able to deliver in the ring. It was a passable match with the other guys in there, but this was all about Flair and at the end of the day, he wasn’t able to make it work. Cut this down to about 10-15 minutes and it could have worked, but it felt like Flair was dragged through this rather than going out on a happy note.

Post match Flair goes to ringside to thank some legends (Undertaker, Foley and Bret Hart, who are sitting together) before talking to Tony Schiavone. Flair talks about how he can’t believe how great this was and he’s in one of the best wrestling towns in the world. Then Kid Rock told him he was here to be entertained, just in case Flair didn’t have enough pressure on him. They’re hitting the town tonight, which isn’t quite how I was expecting such a speech to go.

Andrade hands Flair the Big Gold Belt and Flair hugs Lethal to end the show.

We get some credits, including a montage of Flair photos and Bob Caudle giving us the signoff (as he did back in the day).

Overall Rating: B-. This is a weird one as the main event is awful but that’s the only thing on the show that matters. I’ve heard this compared to a big boxing pay per view where no one watches anything but the last fight and that makes a lot of sense. The rest of the show was quite good and works as a heck of an indy show, but the main event didn’t work and dragged everything else down.

The other problem is the feeling of the show, as it might have been nice to have one more match, but it felt forced in a way. It’s like Flair decided it was time to praise him again and everyone had to line up with their nice things to say. The problem is they did that fourteen years ago on a bigger stage and after a better match. It didn’t feel fun or special, but rather “ok, he got what he wanted so let’s try to have a good time”. The Flair stuff was sad, and as good as the rest was, that’s all that mattered.

 

 

 

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Rival City Showdown Pro Wrestling: And Out Come The Wolves

And Out Come The Wolves
Date: April 20, 2019
Location: National Guard Armory, Bloomington, Indiana
Commentators: Bob Nugent, Tony Brewer

We’re going to Rival Showdown Pro Wrestling, another promotion on a seemingly endless list of companies I’ve been checking out lately. This show has a bunch of names I have at least heard of so we might be in for something a bit easier to follow this time around. Then again, you never can tell with something like this. Let’s get to it.

Bad sign to start: you can barely hear commentary over the entrance music.

Gringo Loco vs. Jake Something

They shake hands and lock up to start before Loco flips over him and flips forward out of the corner. A running headscissors drops Something so he tries one of his own, only to have Loco stick the landing. Something tries to drop down off a whip but Loco hits a standing moonsault for a nice counter. With nothing else working, Something blasts him with a clothesline and Loco is rocked hard. A whip into the corner gives Something two and he doesn’t seem overly nervous here.

Another chop rocks Loco again but he comes back with a quick middle rope dropkick. That sets up the big running flip dive to take Something down on the floor in the huge crash. Back in and Something knocks him right back to the floor, setting up his own crazy dive to crush Loco. It also lets Something do his WHAT’S MY NAME shout for the third time in less than eight minutes, just in case you didn’t get the idea.

A running crossbody against the apron gives Something two back inside and they’re both down for a bit. It’s Loco to his feet first and he runs the corner for a diving cutter (that looked good) and a near fall of his own. A top rope moonsault gives Loco two more as they are into the one big move at a time territory.

Something is back up with a running spear in the corner and a Michinoku Driver gets two. Loco escapes a superbomb and hits a super Falcon Arrow for the huge double knockdown. A delayed cover gives Loco two but Something turns him inside out with a clothesline. One heck of a sitout powerbomb finishes Loco at 13:46.

Rating: B-. This was a solid choice for an opener as they beat each other up with one big move after another. It was a classic power vs. speed match and that is going to work almost every time. Something is strong enough with the power game and Loco’s big dives and speed balanced it out well. You can always go with an opener like this and they are starting smart.

Post match here is a manager in a suit and a hat (Jason Bowler maybe?), with commentary trying to talk over him but again, you can’t hear a word of it. The manager has a client named Russ Jones who will face anyone at the next show and he wants Something. The match is on, but the manager won’t shake hands with someone from Detroit. Something knocks him down and shakes his hand anyway.

The ring announcer hypes up tonight’s double main event, including Abyss’ final match. He also hypes up a raffle, concessions and tonight’s charity.

The Carnies vs. Lethal Injection

This would be Kerry Awful/Nicky Iggy vs. Brad/Briar Mercury (in South Park shirts). The rather tattoed and masked Awful and Brad have a pose off to start before Iggy grabs a headlock. Awful takes off his mask as commentary needs security to get rid of some fans standing in front of them, which isn’t something you often hear. Brad and Awful chop the heck out of each other before they take turns bouncing off the same rope in a circle change.

Awful stomps on the arm and starts working on it (Bob: “That was a disarming move.”) before handing it off to Iggy for more arm cranking. Briar comes in and gets armdragged into an armbar of his own before it’s a double fishhook, because no one leaves the Carnies’ circus without a smile. A slam puts Briar down but Brad grabs Iggy from the apron so a dropkick can put him in trouble for the first time.

There’s a double back elbow to put Iggy down again and he gets tossed hard into the corner. Iggy’s escape attempt is cut off and Brad launches Briar into the air for a splash. A stomp out of the corner finally gets Iggy out of trouble and the double tag brings in Awful to chop away at Brad.

Awful hits a butterfly powerbomb into a crossthroat but Briar makes the save. Some superkicks to the….general area of Awful knock him back but Iggy comes back in for the save. A stomp/wheelbarrow faceplant combination plants Iggy as commentary actually tries to remember who is legal. Iggy is left alone with Briar and it’s a chokebomb to give Iggy two. Everyone gets back in and a bit of contrivance lets the Carnies force Brad to Canadian Destroy Brian for the pin at 11:16.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this one as the Carnies’ deal kind of goes away as soon as the bell rings and they’re just a team. The same is true with Lethal Injection, who were neither lethal nor injecting anything. The ending was not good either, as it takes a lot to make me believe that you can make someone give someone else a Canadian Destroyer and it didn’t work. Not the best match here and I was wanting it to end more than once.

The Carnies take their sweet time in leaving.

Abyss vs. Mojo McQueen

Monster’s Ball and this is Abyss’ final match. McQueen has a smoking box and a horned mask, which makes it less surprising to see him jump Abyss before the bell. Some whipping with the jacket has Abyss in trouble but he’s back up with a shoulder. A clothesline drops McQueen and another sends him out to the floor sot he real fight can begin.

McQueen sends him into the barricade and the slow beating takes Abyss around the ring. Some crutch shots rock Abyss again, including having the crutch knocked into his throat. McQueen’s chop only hits post though and Abyss hits some not so rapid chops against the barricade. They get back inside but Abyss takes too long to hit him with a trashcan. Instead McQueen trashcans him down into the corner, followed by a posting to make it worse.

We’ll get creative with a voodoo doll….but first it’s time to wedge a chair in the corner. McQueen stabs the doll in the head to put Abyss in pain, followed by more stabbings to make it worse. That’s not cool with Abyss, who grabs Janice (the spiked 2×4) from underneath the ring. As is ALWAYS THE CASE, it gets stuck in the turnbuckle pad so Abyss settles for whipping him head first into the chair in the corner. McQueen gets in a knee to the face and it’s time to bring in the table. Abyss breaks that up and pulls out the thumbtacks to put on said table. A chokeslam through both of them gives Abyss the pin at 8:38.

Rating: C. This wasn’t about the match being a big showdown but rather having Abyss in the ring one more time and that worked out well enough. Let him play the hits (or misses like Janice) and get a nice pop. It isn’t like McQueen feels like some top star so having him out there as a victim is a fine enough way to go, even if the match was only so good because they kept things moving.

Post match Abyss thanks the fans and says he couldn’t have picked a better crowd to go out in front of. Nice little moment there that you don’t get from Abyss very often.

Intermission.

Craig Mitchell vs. Eye Candy Elliott vs. Isaias Velazquez

I’ve seen Velazquez in MLW and Mitchell has some size to him. Mitchell lives up to the Eye Candy idea by having two attractive women with him. They hit the stall button to start with Mitchell heading outside for a breather with the women. The two lock up with Mitchell running him over but Velazquez hits a rolling kicks to the head. A dropkick sends Mitchell outside and hits a dive, only to be distracted by the women.

That’s enough to earn them an ejection so Elliott gets inside to start the double teaming of Velazquez in the corner. Velazquez gets double suplexed down and the villains take over. Some loud chops in the corner keep Velazquez in trouble but he ducks a clothesline so that Mitchell gets hit instead. Elliott is tied in the Tree of Woe so Velazquez can suplex Mitchell into him for a clever spot that actually made sense for a change.

A fireman’s carry swung into a faceplant rocks Elliott and a Sliced Bread to Mitchell makes him DDT Elliott for two (I still can’t stand those spots) to leave everyone down. Everyone is back up for a three way slugout until Elliott rakes their eyes. Elliott gets knocked down again though and it’s something like a Deep Six to drop Velazquez. Mitchell’s running forearm to the back of the head gets two but Elliott is back up with a running neckbreaker. Velazquez hits a Cheeky Nandos kick on Elliott, which has commentary and some fans losing it.

Mitchell is back with a World’s Strongest Slam/powerbomb combination at the same time (always looks cool) for two but he misses a charge. That means a middle rope double stomp/hanging DDT combination can put Mitchell down for a change so Elliott hits a swinging suplex for two on Velazquez. Back up and Mitchell hits a rolling Downward Spiral on Elliott but Velazquez runs Mitchell over. A Jay Driller gives Velazquez the pin on Elliott at 13:16.

Rating: C+. I had more fun with this one as they were out there doing their things, which made for an easier match to watch. You could easily get what everyone in this was about and that is not something you get to see very often. Velazquez felt like the biggest star out of the three so the win isn’t a surprise, but it came after an entertaining match.

Mance Warner vs. Mikey

Warner has been around for a bit and comes out to Freebird so he can’t be that bad. Mikey on the other hand has big hair and a big mustache. He also hugs a baby on the way to the ring, which does not go well with our evil commentator. Hold on though as Warner says he’s here to hit someone in the face instead of wrestling them, so let’s make this a Mancer Rules match, meaning falls count anywhere and anything goes.

Mikey is in so here we go, with Mikey posing on the ropes a lot before they go to the slugout. Some rather slow right hands in the corner rock Mance but he avoids a springboard moonsault. Warner heads outside so Mikey drills him with a suicide dive, only to get his skin ripped off by some chops. There’s the hard whip to send Mikey into the barricade but he does the same to Mance to even things up.

They head out over the barricade, with Warner throwing some chairs back to ringside because he’s a bit off. Warner wraps a purse around Mikey’s neck and beats on him some more, only to be taken to the merchandise table. Mikey strikes away but gets caught with a chair shot. A backdrop sends Mikey back to ringside and they finally get back into the ring. Mikey isn’t about to be suplexed onto an open chair so he sends Warner face first into it for two instead.

Warner knocks him back down but takes a bit too long going up, allowing Mikey to roll away before he can do anything. Instead Mikey misses a nip up and kicks Warner on the face to take him off the ropes. A dropkick drives a chair into Warner’s face and a rolling splash onto a chair onto Warner gets two. They sit next to each other and chop it out before getting to their feet for the right hands.

Both of them wind up their fists for about thirty seconds until Warner punches him down for two. Back up and Mikey slides between his legs but can’t get a sunset flip. Instead he kicks Warner in the face so Warner grabs a chair, which is kicked into the head for two more. Mikey slowly goes up top, with the delay allowing Warner to pelt him with a chair to bring him back down. A huge lariat finishes for Warner at 14:43.

Rating: D+. This was every hardcore, weapons brawl you could imagine and that is not a good thing. It doesn’t help that Abyss had a better (or at least faster) brawl earlier on and it didn’t make this look very good. Warner is someone who can talk rather well but the repetitive brawling can be a bit much to take.

Post match Warner talks about how they beat each other up and asks for some beers to celebrate. Mikey celebrates to Warner’s music and seems buzzed off one beer.

Jaylee vs. Elayna Black

Jaylee was in OVW for a bit and shoulders Black down to start. Black is back up with a cradle for two but Jaylee tosses her to the apron. Back in and Jaylee kicks her down and steps on the hair. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Black fights out in a hurry. Not that it matters as Jaylee grabs a standing armbar for the tap at 3:24, which seems to confuse commentary.

Rating: C-. Well that was quick and mostly painless, though they didn’t exactly seem polished out there. Jaylee certain had a look, but Black is the one who would get the attention, as she wound up signing with NXT under the name Cora Jade. She would get better, but she didn’t have time to showcase her talents here.

The ring announcer talks about the sponsors again. As a bonus, a kid gets in the ring to draw the raffle winner. It turns out that it is the kid’s birthday so we get a cake brought in, with the fans singing Happy Birthday. While this is going on, commentary points out other great days on this date in history….like the Columbine massacre….and the birthday of a certain German dictator.

Cue GT Vega (in the main event) to interrupt because he wants to know why he wasn’t invited. Vega has the candles lit again so the kid can blow them out….and then he hits the kid with the cake (pretty hard too). Vega wants someone to come out here and tell him that it isn’t his ring. No one is going to take him out, but here is someone to interrupt. That’s all well and good, but I’m going to need more on what that commentator said because WHAT THE HECK MAN???

GT Vega vs. Eddie Edwards

This is hardcore Eddie so he throws a chair at Vega’s head to knock him off the apron before the bell. Eddie: “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” Vega gets whipped up against the barricade and chopped a lot, only to have Vega chop the post by mistake. A headbutt with a birthday hat makes Vega stagger but Vega sends him inside, only to be taken down by a suicide dive. Kid to Vega: “NO ONE LIKES YOU! NO ONE LIKES YOU!”

Eddie crotches him on the barricade and leads the crowd in HAPPY BIRTHDAY again. Vega fights back and sends Edwards throat first into the barricade before sending him into a garage door. That’s broken up and Eddie sends him into a wall, followed by a trip to the merch table. As luck would have it, Eddie’s children’s book is on sale so he hits Vega in the head with it. Vega comes back and chokes with a chair, though he does stop to pose.

Eddie gets whipped through some chairs and kicked in the face as commentary apparently can’t see over the fans. They go back to ringside, with Vega sending him face first into the apron. A Roman Reigns apron dropkick rocks Eddie but he comes back with an overhead belly to belly inside (where they bothered to go for once). Eddie gets up a boot in the corner but gets dropkicked off the middle rope to put it on the floor again.

Back in and Vega chokes on the ropes some more, followed by a spinebuster for two. Eddie gets in a kick to the face though and they head outside, where fans are BEGGING Eddie to hit Vega with the cake. That’s exactly what he does, making Eddie the biggest hero on the show so far. Back in and Vega kicks him down again as Edwards just can’t keep anything going. A bridging northern lights suplex gets two on Eddie, who catches him on top with a crotching.

The top rope superplex brings Vega back down and the backpack Stunner gives Eddie two. A fireman’s carry faceplant drops Vega again but the Boston Knee Party is countered into a powerbomb backbreaker for a rather near fall. Vega’s TKO gets two more and he kicks Eddie in the face a few times.

Edwards is right back with a powerbomb for two but Vega kicks the referee down by mistake. That lets Eddie grab a chair but Vega hits him low. A chair to the head finishes Eddie at 18:31 (or so, as I didn’t hear an opening bell)….but they keep going anyway as Eddie seemed to kick out just in time. Vega hits Roderick Strong’s End of Heartache for the real pin at 18:58.

Rating: B-. The big brawl at the start wasn’t my favorite, but what mattered here was how it felt like an important match. Eddie is someone who can work well with anyone and it was nice to see him getting a spot like this. Vega looked polished as well, but from what I can tell, this was his second to last match to date. That’s a shame too, as he was a pretty solid heel here and could have gone on to a bigger stage.

Post match Vega yells at the birthday kid again but Eddie hits him low. Eddie hands the kid the cake to hit Vega again for the happy ending.

Overall Rating: C+. For a show that didn’t exactly look great on paper, this wound up working pretty well. You can tell when the bigger stars are carrying things here and that is always a plus. There were a few too many hardcore/weapons brawls and some of the matches were weaker, but it was a step or so above a lot of regular independent shows. The company didn’t seem to last long, though they did seem to have some potential. Just get better commentary though, as it was pretty terrible. Overall pretty good, but it needed some adjustments.

 

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The WRLD On GCW: They’ve Been Watching Too Much ECW

The Wrld On GCW
Date: January 23, 2022
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Dave Prazak, Kendall Gill
Hosts: Lenny Leonard, Pollo del Mar

Every now and then a show catches my attention and I’ll add it to the schedule. That is the case here, as GCW has become the hottest indy around at the moment and I’m going to give it a shot. I am absolutely not a fan of the deathmatch stuff, but apparently that kind of wrestling is not allowed in New York so we get a bit of a reprieve here. Let’s get to it.

Note that I barely follow GCW so I am not going to know much in the way of storylines or characters so please bear with me if I miss something.

Kickoff Show: Blue Ribbon Battle Royal

Psycho Clown, Dark Sheik, Cole Radrick, Parrow, Hoodfoot, Ruckus, Charles Mason, KTB, Juicy Finau, Steve Scott, Nate Webb, Big Vin, Brandon Kirk, Janai Kai, Dustin Thomas, Marcus Mathers, Yoya, B-Boy, Lufisto, Thunder Rosa

Clown jumps Parrow before most of the entrances have taken place and we’re starting fast. The huge Parrow fights him off but Sheik hits a pretty awesome looking jump up to his shoulders into a double stomp to the chest (kind of like Cameron Grimes’ Cave In). Sheik isn’t done and hits a top rope spinwheel kick to drop Radrick. Back up and Radrick runs Sheik over as more people come in (Are these entrances timed? That hasn’t been mentioned.), giving us Parrow vs. Ruckus.

Entrants keep coming in one at a time but with maybe fifteen seconds in between, making me wonder why they started so fast. Scott (I think? Commentary is too busy to say who these people are.) is clotheslined out as Big Vin takes his place. Vin grabs Sheik from the apron and backflips in for a World’s Strongest Slam (that’s a new one) before having a big hug with Finau.

The ring (which isn’t very big in the first place) is WAY too full here as Kirk is tossed. Thomas (the wrestler with no legs) comes in and hits a tornado DDT on KTB. Mathers and Yoya are in as Radrick is out in a hurry (and actually gets named). Mason (in a suit) is in next as this is just a free for all of people hitting one move after another with nothing close to coherence.

Now it’s B-Boy coming in as Clown hits a superbomb on Mason. Mathers (I think) is out with Sheik and KTB following him. Lufisto makes a big surprise return and there go Clown and Thomas. Thunder Rosa is the big surprise and final entrant so we look at her beating up Parrow in the corner while everyone else brawls.

Lufisto gets rid of Webb and B-Boy and we’re down to Lufisto, Parrow, Rosa, Mason and Vin. Rosa hurricanranas Parrow out and the women beat up Mason in the corner. Vin gets beaten down in an opposite corner until Rosa and Lufisto slug it out. Mason sneaks up and tosses Rosa but Lufisto suplexes both of them. Vin puts Lufisto on the apron and Mason drives Vin into her for the elimination. A low bridge sends Vin to the apron but he chokeslams Mason out for the win at 16:04.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t a good start to the night as I’m still not sure who all was in the match. Commentary didn’t do a good job of explaining what was going on and the camera work made it even harder to keep track of the whole thing. I’m not quite thrilled with where things are going from here, but hopefully we get something a little easier to follow going forward.

Kickoff Show: Jack Cartwheel vs. Alex Zayne vs. Grim Reefer vs. Shane Mercer vs. Ninja Mack vs. Dante Leon

No tags and one fall to a finish. Zayne is billed as The Sauce and from the nearest Taco Bell. The fact that he is from Lexington makes it even better. Mercer starts fast with a pop up powerslam on Reefer (that looked good) and there’s a big flip dive to drop some people on the floor. Cartwheel and Mack hit their stereo running flip dives to the floor, followed by dives from Zayne and Leon.

Reefer goes up, lights one up, and hits a big springboard flip dive to drop the pile. Back in and Mack punches away at Reefer before hitting the People’s Moonsault. Leon comes in for a cutter on Mack but gets powerslammed by Mercer. A super fireman’s carry flapjack drops Leon but Zayne clears the ring. Cartwheel takes him down for a slingshot hilo but Mercer is back up with a gorilla press drop.

Reefer kicks Mercer down and spins him into a Crossface with Leon making the save. Leon’s big cutter hits Reefer but Mercer plants Mack with a super backflip World’s Strongest Slam. Zayne is held in the ropes for a shooting star press from Cartwheel, driving Zayne into the apron. A chair is brought in but Reefer counters Mercer’s….something into a DDT onto the chair for the pin at 7:58.

Rating: C+. This was slightly easier to follow than the opener but that isn’t saying much. The thing to remember about a match like this is that it is all about getting your stuff in with nothing resembling a story being told. The match may be fun, but this is all about setting things up for the real card. Not exactly good, but a lot of fun and rather exciting, as is kind of the point.

Owner Brett Lauderdale comes out to hype up the crowd and talks about how hard it has been to get here. They were ready to take over the world but then the pandemic hit. He was told that a million GCW’s have come and gone but now they are here with the roster to make it work.

We get the entrances for the opener, which will start when the show goes on the air. This company has some AEW influences.

The opening video, which is rather quiet, shows a bunch of wrestlers in the empty building with their voiceovers talking about how they have no business at this level. Now they’re here to prove that they belong. Right on point here.

AJ Gray vs. PCO vs. Alex Colon vs. G-Raver vs. Tony Deppen vs. Jimmy Lloyd vs. Jordan Oliver

Ladder match, with the winner getting any title match they want at any time. AJ Gray is a surprise entrant as his scheduled opponent, Eddie Kingston, is out with an injury. They start fast (I’m not sure I heard a bell) with Deppen hitting a springboard dropkick to drive the ladder into Lloyd and Oliver.

Gray buckle bombs Deppen into the ladder in the corner and blasts him with a lariat before going up. His ladder is WAY too short though, meaning G-Raver does him a favor by throwing a ladder at Gray’s ladder for the save. PCO comes in, allowing Colon to lift up G-Raver for a Doomsday Device, albeit with a ladder shot instead of a clothesline to make it even worse. Colon hits PCO in the face with the ladder but Oliver dropkicks the ladder down to break up the double climb.

Oliver kicks Lloyd in the face and hits a dive to the floor. PCO hits his own running flip dive through the ropes. Deppen adds a double springboard flip dive to take out everyone, sending them walking up the aisle. As luck would have it, Gray is ready with his own running flip dive off the stage at the exact same time. PCO chairs Gray down and moonsaults off the top onto the big pile again.

That means PCO can climb, but he’s actually smart enough to drop down and beat up anyone trying to make a save. Deppen brings in a bigger ladder and bites PCO on the face but Jordan Oliver is there to cut him off. Lloyd breaks that up too but gets kicked down by Oliver. PCO chokeslams Oliver off of the ladder though and there’s a package piledriver onto the ladder to make it worse.

G-Raver and Colon break that up, with Raven putting Colon onto two chairs with a ladder over his back. Raver goes up, shoves the ring out of the way, and drops down onto the ladder onto Colon. Well that was dumb. Lloyd gives Raver a running Razor’s Edge over the top and onto a big pile of stuff on the floor. Gray goes up on a ladder on the floor and tries to dive into the ring, only to crash hard onto another ladder (the fact that I’m not sure who he was aiming for is a bad sign). Cue John Wayne Murdoch to take out Colon on the floor, leaving Gray to take the ring down at 15:11.

Rating: C-. The spots were good, but this was a very indy style ladder match, which is not meant as a compliment. There was too much going on between all of the people and it didn’t work so well. At the same time, you had a person shoving the ring out of the way to hurt someone else. That’s about as bad of a level of ladder match logic as you’ll find, making this quite the mess.

Gringo Loco/Demonic Flamita/Arez vs. Bandido/ASF/Laredo Kid

Lucha rules (duh) and it’s Arez starting with Kid. The trade early misses until Kid’s hurricanrana is easily blocked. An armdrag sends Kid outside so it’s Bandido coming in for Three Amigos. That means the Eddie dance as it’s a headscissors to send Arez outside. Loco comes in to hammer on Bandido, who is sent outside so ASF can come in. A wristdrag sends ASF outside for a change and it’s Flamita coming in to take his place.

The 619 in the corner looks to set up something off the top but Flamita flips off the crowd and drops down to flip the fans off instead. ASF is left alone in the corner, with Flamita and Arez hitting stereo moonsaults to the floor (that was sweet). Bandido and Kid get caught in stereo surfboards on the floor for the big running flip dive from Loco. ASF is sent outside as well, only to get launched over the top for the crash back inside (cool).

Flamita follows him back in for two, with ASF climbing Flamita to armdrag Loco. Bandido’s team is back in with stereo superkicks into stereo headscissors to the floor. The not quite stereo dives take out Loco and company but ASF and Kid miss missile dropkicks back inside. Flamita and Bandido are left alone for a big staredown, with Flamita kicking him down and hitting a huge frog splash.

ASF hits a 450 but Arez makes a save of his own. A dropkick breaks up Arez’s cover and a Death Valley Driver gets two on Flamita. It’s Bandido vs. Loco for a strike off until Bandido hits a heck of a tornado DDT. Back up and Bandido and Loco grab double electric chairs (as in Arez is on Flamita’s shoulders on Loco’s shoulders while ASF is on Kid’s shoulders on Bandido’s shoulders), leaving ASF and Arez to slug it out rather high in the air.

ASF snaps off a Canadian Destroyer (egads man) while Loco and Bandido hit powerbombs on the other two. Loco catches a charging Bandido in a Spanish Fly and everyone is down. Back up and Bandido LAUNCHES ASF over the top and into a hurricanrana on Loco. Flamita hits a dive, then Bandido hits a dive, then Kid Spanish Flies Arez off the top onto the pile. ASF and Loco seem to load up a super Canadian Destroyer but can’t get the timing right, leaving Loco to hit a regular piledriver for the pin at 14:10.

Rating: A-. The double electric chair was good enough to make this about as fun as it could have been and the rest was a bunch of insanity that you can only get in a match like this one. This kind of a match is designed to have a bunch of people flying around with one crazy spot after another and they made it work like only they can here. Bandido’s awesomeness has long since been established and it was on full display again with this one. Check this out, which you should always do with something involving these people.

Ian Riccaboni joins commentary.

Ring of Honor World Title: Blake Christian vs. Jonathan Gresham

Christian is challenging…or at least he would be if Gresham was here but we need to make a last second change. Worry not though, because we have a replacement.

Blake Christian vs. Lio Rush

Rush offers a handshake but Christian looks at him instead. They do shake left hands though and it’s an armdrag to take Rush down. Back up and Christian offers a handshake, which allows him to sunset flip Rush for two. Rush bails to the floor for a breather before heading back inside to avoid some charges.

Christian heads outside, only to pull Rush outside for a whip into the barricade. Back in and a tilt-a-whirl gutbuster gives Christian two, setting up a roll into a crucifix hold. That’s broken up and Christian misses a charge into the corner, allowing Rush to hit a spear for two. Christian is fine enough to catch him with a kick to the face on top but Rush kicks him down.

A ripcord Spanish fly drops Rush again though and a springboard 450 gives Christian two. Rush is right back with a twisting DDT and the Final Hour gets two more. They go to the apron where Rush can’t hit a German suplex to the floor. Instead they drop down, with Christian hitting a Tombstone. Back in and a 450 double stomp finishes Rush at 12:39.

Rating: B-. Take two guys and let them do their thing for about twelve minutes, which is all you needed to do here. Christian gets the win to keep him strong until he can get his title shot. Gresham being gone is rough to see but having someone like Rush as the backup worked as well as anything else. Good match, but they weren’t about to follow that six man.

We recap Matt Cardona vs. Joey Janela. Cardona married Chelsea Green but Janela faked some pictures of the two of them by a pool together, sending Cardona over the edge. The interesting thing is that Cardona is the huge heel who is mocking all things indy and trying to turn it into WWE. This has been one of the better things going on the independent scene and Cardona has had one awesome stunt after another.

The IF CARDONA WINS WE RIOT sign is a great touch.

Joey Janela vs. Matt Cardona

Chelsea Green is here with Cardona….who comes out to Enter Sandman entrance (or at least a cover), turning the crowd completely upside down in about three seconds. The “IF CARDONA WINS WE RIOT” shirt is an even greater touch. He also has a red flannel shirt with f*** Mick Foley on the back, while Green (with the Internet Title) is in the Zack Ryder half trunks/half tights. Cardona asks what’s up GCW Universe and takes credit for the sellout. Joey Janela didn’t do it, so tonight he’s ending Janela’s career before Tony Khan can fire him.

Cardona jumps him at the bell for two and flips off the fans. The fans get in a “F*** CARDONA/WOO WOO WOO!” chant so Janela hits a Death Valley Driver through the door. The suicide dive takes out Cardona on the floor and it is time for Janela to chair him down. A top rope flip dive sends Janela crashing through the chair though and Cardona gets to chair him down. Green pulls the chair away though and kicks Cardona low for a big surprise.

Janela goes up, only to get crotched by Green because it was a ruse. Cardona shows off the cup he was wearing but Janela is fine enough to hit a superplex to put them both down. Janela grabs the title, but here is Smart Mark Sterling (of AEW fame) to say that if Janela uses the title, he’s disqualified. Commentary: “But it’s GCW!” He brings out someone who is very influential in Cardona’s career, so here is someone in a Vince McMahon mask. It’s Vincent/Virgil though, and the distraction lets Sterling grab Janela.

The belt shot takes Sterling down by mistake though and a Death Valley Driver sends Cardona into the ring frame. Cue Swoggle to post Janela but here is a huge guy named Sam Stackhouse to take Swoggle out. Now it’s Marko Stunt to throw a chair at Swoggle’s head but Cardona takes him down as well. Janela brings in a pair of doors, with Swoggle and Cardona being put through one each.

Green hits Stunt with the belt and gives him a Canadian Destroyer, leaving Cardona to AA Janela through an open chair for a near fall. Cardona loads up two doors, which really does take too long so Janela takes him out. Green’s latest interference earns herself a piledriver so here is a guy in a motorcycle helmet. That would be Brian Myers, who decks Janela and helps Cardona hit a middle rope Radio Silence through the door for the pin at 19:39.

Rating: B-. It was a bit long, but this was a lot of fun with Cardona playing a perfect troll. Cardona knows how to make these people nuts by doing everything they don’t like and now he gets to take out another one of their heroes. The big flaw here is that the match went too long and you could have cut out a good portion in the middle which was more about several other people other than Janela vs. Cardona. This was all about Cardona putting together something else to get people to care about him though, as he continues to be one of the more creative people in wrestling.

Post match Sean Waltman of all people comes in and takes out Cardona before posing with Janela. I’m sold on getting to hear The Kings again.

Here is the injured Mance Warner for a chat. He talks about how awesome GCW’s locker room and entire crew is and thanks the fans for getting them here. Cue Atticus Cougar (pronounced Co-Gar) to say 44OH are the real outlaws around here. Cougar doesn’t like Warner’s Second Gear Crew so Warner is ready to fight.

44OH comes in for the beatdown, with Matthew Justice (Warner’s partner) coming in for the failed save attempt. The lights go off (BECAUSE WRESTLING!) and it’s Bill Alfonso and Sabu making the save. Chairs to the head put 44OH down and we actually get a pin, with Fonzie counting. Pantera’s Walk plays because ECW.

Video on Allie Katch vs. Ruby Soho. Katch talks about divine destiny, meaning that if something is meant to happen, it will happen no matter what. That seems to be the case with this match, as she runs into SOHO painted on a wall. Katch was billed as a big deal during Brett Lauderdale’s pre-show speech so she means something. I don’t remember her being much more than someone who did cat-esque things as Allie Kat but maybe things have changed.

Allie Katch vs. Ruby Soho

They shake hands to start and Soho armdrags her down early on. The threat of the Riott Kick is blocked early on but so is Katch’s piledriver. That’s fine with Allie, who hits a basement dropkick for an early two. Soho is sent into the corner and it’s a running hip attack into a Cannonball for two more.

They trade kicks to the face with Soho getting rocked, only to be able to come back with a German suplex for the double knockdown. Katch takes too long going up top though and gets armdragged back down for a quick two. The Riott Kick connects for two on Katch but she’s right back with a knee into the piledriver for two of her own. With that not working, Katch loads up a super piledriver, which is countered into a Riott Kick from the middle rope to give Soho the pin at 9:31.

Rating: C. I’d hope that Katch can do more than this as it felt like any other match. This came off like a match where a star was making a guest appearance in the territory with the story of the popular star getting a shot. It wasn’t bad, but there was absolutely nothing special to this and it just came and went.

We recap Jeff Jarrett vs. Effy. Jarrett doesn’t like GCW calling themselves outlaws because he is the Last Outlaw. There has to be a huge stable out there of people who have been THE LAST OUTLAW. There have also been guitar shots to show you how serious this has been.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Effy

Effy pulls $20 out of his trunks, which the referee throws to the floor. They go with the basics to start, with Jarrett powering him into the corner. Effy’s spins to get out of a wristlock don’t work so Effy drops to his knee, which freaks Jeff out for a bit. Some shots to the ribs set up a modified Tarantula but Jarrett is back with a clothesline. They head outside with Jarrett whipping him with the belt (which seems to draw a DADDY LIKES IT chant).

Back in and it’s time for more whipping and choking, which seems to make Effy smile. Jarrett uses the belt to tie Effy in the corner, which doesn’t exactly last long. Effy is back with more rights and lefts, setting up a faceplant for two. Now it’s Effy getting to whip away but he misses a Blockbuster. The guitar takes too long for Jarrett though so Effy pulls off his fishnets for some choking. That’s too much for Jarrett, who hits him with the guitar and grabs the Stroke for the pin at 11:15.

Rating: D+. I’ve heard a lot of good things about Effy and I’m going to assume that a lot of it is due to his promos and character work, because he wasn’t doing much in the ring here. All he had was a bunch of punches and a missed Blockbuster, which isn’t exactly stealing the show. That being said, Jarrett winning is a good bit weird, as he is the second outsider in a row to beat a signature GCW name on their biggest night ever. Not a great match, but you can see how much bigger of a star Jarrett is than most of the roster. If nothing else, seeing someone who seems like he knows how to put a match together is almost a rarity around here.

GCW World Title: Homicide vs. Jon Moxley

Homicide is challenging after winning a Rumble last month. The fans chant F*** BULLY RAY to start, which has to make Moxley smile a bit. They forearm/slap it out to start before going face to face. Homicide sends him outside but the dive is cut off with a shot to the face. The fight heads outside with Homicide biting away, only to get sent shoulder first into the post.

Moxley cranks on the fingers and hits a piledriver for two For some reason Moxley goes up but it’s a super cutter to bring him back down. They trade clotheslines until Moxley grabs the Paradigm Shift for two. Moxley hammers away and Homicide seems to lose a tooth. A chair is wedged in the corner but Homicide cuts him off and strikes away. The chair is on the mat and it’s another Paradigm Shift onto said chair to give Moxley two more. Homicide flips him off and bites Moxley’s face, only to get blasted with a lariat. The lifting Paradigm Shift onto the open chair retains Moxley’s title at 11:32.

Rating: C. That’s it? This was so short that I thought I missed part of the match, as I would have bet on it going a good bit longer than Jarrett vs. Effy. Maybe that is the result of ring rust from Moxley, or just time constraints from the pay per view, but this wasn’t exactly great. It worked while it lasted, but it just didn’t last very long.

Video on the Briscoes, who are issuing an open challenge for the Tag Team Titles. Most signs would suggest that this is going to be FTR, but you never know around here.

Tag Team Titles: Briscoes vs. ???/???

The Briscoes are defending against….Nick Gage/Matt Tremont. Well you knew Gage would be on here somehow. Gage puts Nick through the door in the corner to start and it’s time for a duel of the chairs. Mark and Nick trade pieces of door shots to the head but Jay breaks up the pizza cutter. Tremont gets beaten down and the Froggy Bow onto a door gets two on Gage. Back up and Tremont hits a release Rock Bottom to plant Jay and Gage hits a middle rope piledriver on Mark. The chokebreaker gives Gage the pin and the titles at 5:35.

Rating: D. That was a Nick Gage match alright, but this time he had a huge partner to do some really basic stuff too. I know why Gage had to be on the show but it isn’t like his matches are much to see. It’s the feel good moment of the show, though having it come in a five minute match didn’t do the show many favors.

Post match Gage swears a lot and puts over his gang while bragging about how far GCW came. The locker room comes in to celebrate and we’re out.

Overall Rating: D+. One of the shows you are probably going to see this compared to is Barely Legal. While it is nowhere near that important (or good), there is one thing that does stand out. My biggest issue with Barely Legal was the lack of an explanation of why Sabu and Taz hated each other. It was the “Grudge Match of the Century” but we were never told why they were fighting. The ECW fans knew, but Barely Legal wasn’t just a show for the ECW fans.

Now do that for three hours and you have this show. There was barely anything explaining who these people were, what they were doing here, why they were fighting or ANYTHING about them. Cardona vs. Janela had a bit of backstory, but this felt like the game plan was “just keep doing what we’ve been doing (minus the deathmatch stuff, which isn’t their fault)”. It was a show that you either got or didn’t get, with GCW not offering much in the way of guidance.

On top of that, the wrestling was hit and miss at best. Everything felt rushed and very little really stood out. The lucha match was great, but you could get one of those a week on Ring of Honor. Cardona is excellent at riffing on independent wrestling, but then he won, just like Soho over what seems to be the big female star around here. This show didn’t do a thing to make me more interested in GCW and as the big debut on the national stage, it was a pretty hard miss.

 

 

 

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No Peace Underground: Shallow Graves: I Bring This On Myself

Shallow Graves
Date: April 10, 2021
Location: Cuban Club, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Drenen, Kid Osborne

This is another one from Wrestlemania Weekend and I’m not sure what to expect. I have a bad feeling that I’m getting into another hardcore/deathmatch/no rules kind of show and that is not going to be my cup of orange juice. Hopefully they surprise me and there are some talented names on the roster. Let’s get to it.

I know nothing about what is going on here so forgive me if I don’t know some storylines or characters.

After six minutes of a logo to start things off, James Mitchell joins us to say that we should beware of the pale horse called death.

The opening video looks at various death like things, including vultures and someone being buried, with the horror movie style credits running down the card (that’s clever).

Ryan Fox welcomes us to the show and talks about how this show is a year in the making. I’m assuming he’s the promoter, as he hypes up the opener.

So apparently this promotion doesn’t have a ring, but rather an open space with a bunch of weapons provided. Oh dear indeed.

The End vs. The Hustle and the Muscle

The End is Parrow/Odinson, a pair of hosses while Hustle/Muscle is Rohit Raju/Jake Something. Announcer: “Coming to the floor!” That’s going to take some getting used to. Hold on though as Raju needs a mic. Raju congratulates the fans for making it to the final show of the Collective and says how lucky they are to see some real wrestlers. He goes on a rant about how stupid Twitter is and now many fans pretend bad wrestlers are good.

It’s time to start and the brawl is on, sans bell (mainly because having a ring bell sans ring doesn’t make sense). They split up and fight around the….I guess the term is arena, as you probably saw coming. The cameras keep cutting back and forth between brawls as Osborne talks about how he could jump in there if he wanted to. Odinson swings Raju into a wall over and over as Parrow chairs Something in the back.

Something is sandwiched between some chairs, with Odinson hitting an AA onto the chairs (or a fireman’s carry into a backsplash according to Drenen). The fights split up again with Odinson kicking Raju in the face and Something planting Parrow onto a chair. Raju knees Odinson down some steps and a running knee knocks Odinson silly again. Some chairs are loaded up and Something throws Raju at Odinson, who counters into a spinebuster onto those chairs.

Something takes Odinson right back down though and sets up two chairs, with a door layed onto it like a ramp. Parrow is back up to throw Raju through a door as Osborne will not shut up about how great he was son other shows. Something is powerbombed against a wall and a chokeslam puts Raju through another door bridged over some chairs.

Jake breaks some lighttubes over Parrow’s head and gets glared at so all four grab chairs for the double duel. Parrow, with a very bloody back, gets the best of things but can’t follow up, leaving everyone down. Osborne: “I would have been the first one up. They were swinging those chairs like b******.” They’re all back up so the End can hit a Super Collider and the pin at 10:08.

Rating: C. What are you supposed to say about something like this? It isn’t a wrestling match and the weapons were there to make it even worse, but the End feel like a good power team. It’s going to take some time to get used to this stuff, but hopefully they tone the violence down a bit. I mean, I don’t think they will, but it gives me some hope for the next two hours.

Bam Sullivan, the Trash With The Stache, who looks to be an old western guy, is ready for Bobby Beverly. I’m not sure why he has a slice of pizza on his vest.

Ryan Fox hypes up the next match, as I’m assuming he’ll be doing for every match.

Bobby Beverly vs. Bam Sullivan

Actually never mind as both of them are injured. Worry not though as Osborne is right there to say he’s still a better promo than Sullivan anyway.

AJ Gray vs. Hardway Heeter

This is a replacement match and there is an inflatable alligator in the middle of the floor. Before the match, Gray isn’t happy with not being on the show in the first place and swears a lot. Heeter comes out with a bunch of red lights flashing and hits Gray with some lighttubes. Gray is back with some chair and lighttube shots of his own and it’s time to carve Heeter’s head open.

Heeter is back with more lighttubes, because five lighttubes are more impressive than one. Some chair shots each put them both down for a bit, with Heeter getting the better of things. They both grab lighttubes and break them over the other’s head, setting up a suplex to drop Heeter on the inflatable alligator. Gray has some goons load up a sheet of glass as Osborne complains about his lack of a title shot. Heeter fights back so he gets hit with a bunch of lighttubes, setting up a suplex off a platform and through the glass to finish Heeter at 4:30.

Rating: D. Yeah this was the bad one that I was expecting, as it was all about the lighttubes and glass because that’s the gold standard in a match like this. I wasn’t big on this whatsoever and Heeter looked like every indy guy in this kind of a promotion. Gray can do good stuff in regular matches, and the only good thing about this was that it was short.

Wolfe Taylor is tired of being buried around here in favor of all of the indy darlings. He’s never being buried again. At least they put a name with a face here.

And now, an intermission. I can go with the classic campy horror movie footage instead of just a graphic.

Said intermission is about a minute long, making me wonder what the point was. Did they run out of vignettes?

JJ Garrett vs. Cole Radrick vs. Wolfe Taylor vs. Jimmy Lloyd vs. Jordan Oliver

Everyone is brawling at once and it’s one fall to a finish. Garrett looks like a young Scott Steiner (including dressing like him and his intro mentioned Steiner) and Rardick is a small but talented guy. Hold on though as we have some replacements, with Oliver not actually here for whatever reason.

JJ Garrett vs. Cole Radrick vs. Wolfe Taylor vs. Jimmy Lloyd vs. Kevin Blackwood vs. Devon Monroe

Everyone is brawling at once and it’s one fall to a finish. Monroe is basically Sonny Kiss and is billed as Black Sexcellence. Lloyd is in a Hurt Business shirt and commentary references some kind of appearance he made involving the team. Blackwood is another surprise entrant and there is no mention of Oliver not being included. Everyone gets in a circle and Blackwood sits down in the middle because he’s a little odd.

That goes nowhere so it’s time to exchange strikes, with Blackwood getting the better of things. Taylor and Garrett exchange for a bit until Radrick interrupts to take Garrett down with a headscissors. Monroe knees Radrick in the face as people start pairing off. Blackwood sends Taylor into a metal hand rail and Lloyd hits Monroe in the face. That leaves us with the Blackwood vs. Lloyd showdown (the world has been waiting), which switches into Blackwood vs. Radrick for a more positive reaction.

They slap each other in the face over and over with Radrick getting the better of things, at least until a double kick to the face puts them both down. Wolfe gives Lloyd a tornado DDT onto the floor but grabs a chair instead of covering (Gorilla Monsoon would not approve). With the wrestling getting boring, it’s time to grab a door/frame/lighttube contraption. Lloyd Rock Bottoms Wolfe through it for two, because that isn’t a big enough spot yet.

Radrick puts Lloyd on a door bridged over chairs (Commentary: “WHEN WAS THAT SET UP???”) for a running cannonball off some steps. With that not even breaking the door, Radrick drops Blackwood onto an open chair. Blackwood pops up and Death Valley Drivers Radrick through the door but here’s Monroe to go after Blackwood instead. A discus forearm knocks Blackwood silly so here is Garrett to jump Monroe. Wolfe is back up for a fireman’s carry backbreaker to Garrett, followed by some face ripping….which is enough for the tap at 8:30.

Rating: C. Again, what are you expecting from something like this? It’s a bunch of people running around doing everything they can and no one got to stand out as a result. That’s how a match like this is always going to work, no matter how annoying it might be. I’ve never been a fan of these things, but you know you’re going to get one on a big indy show.

James Mitchell misquotes the Bible.

Matthew Justice vs. Erick Redbeard

Redbeard is of course better known as Erick Rowan and this is fallout from Redbeard jumping Justice at the end of a previous show. They throw trashcans at each other to start and then get to the more effective slugout. Justice gets in some chair shots but Redbeard hits him in the back and then throws a chair, setting up something like a Van Daminator. More chair shots have Justice down as commentary is convinced that all hope is lost. A table is set up but first Redbeard needs to kick Justice in the face.

That just wakes Justice up enough to send him into a door against a wall to start the comeback. Some chair shots keep Redbeard in trouble but he’s back with a trashcan over Justice’s head. Said trashcan is thrown (Fan: “THAT TRASHCAN HAS A FAMILY!!!”) but Redbeard is sent face first into a support beam. Redbeard BLASTS HIM In the face with a door and then hits the ground next to Justice with the door for a rather miserable visual. It’s time for the belt to come off for some whipping and choking, followed by a hanging from the stands.

Justice gets sent into a wall but avoids a charge to send Redbeard into it as well. A flip dive off the steps finally puts Redbeard down and now it’s time to whip him for a change. Justice chokes with the belt and throws a chair at his back to make it worse. A splash out of the stands drives Redbeard through a door for two so Justice tries it again, only to get trashcanned out of the air. Redbeard loads up a bunch of chairs and, after smacking Justice in the face, hits a claw slam off the stage onto the broken door and chairs for the pin at 11:47.

Rating: C-. This was a watchable enough back and forth big guy vs. little guy match and it worked out well enough. It’s nice to see Redbeard winning and that slap to the face was a great shot. I’m surprised Redbeard hasn’t gotten a deal with a bigger promotion yet, but he looked good as a monster here.

Respect is shown post match, which kind of defeats the purpose of a grudge.

Fox’s explanation for the next match: two guys beating on each other.

Mance Warner vs. Conor Claxton

This is a No Win Deathmatch, which I guess is different than the previous matches in….some way that isn’t important enough to explain. Warner coming out to Simple Man is rather great, while Claxton pulling out a cigarette, not so much. Joey Janela jumps in on commentary to make it more, ahem, interesting.

Warner throws him a lighttube and we’re going to be starting with a duel. That means hitting each other with the lighttubes, followed by a chain whip to Claxton’s back. The eye poke has Balor staggering off and Warner hits him with various other weapons. The bloody Claxton gets in a few shots of his own and sends Warner head first into a street sign on the floor. Warner is right back with the Bionic low blow as Claxton is favoring a previous shoulder injury.

There’s a lighttube shot over Claxton’s head and it is time to walk around some more. Claxton whips him through a door and stomps away though, meaning it’s time to wrap a chain around his hand. Janela shouts even more, going on about what he has been doing today. That’s it for Janela, who is off to do something else as Warner makes a comeback.

A DDT onto the floor isn’t even good enough to make Warner cover, with Osborne (accurately for once) yelling about how stupid that was. Some fan hands Warner more lighttubes (because he had those) and Warner finds a staple gun to make it worse. Warner steals the syringes that Claxton brought with him and stabs him in the mouth, because that’s how things go around here. A running knee drives the lighttubes into Claxton’s head (good thing he held them in place) for the pin at 8:41.

Rating: D-. Yeah this was bad, as it was nothing but a bunch of walking around with one spot after another. They threw in some lighttubes to try and make it more violent but this felt like it just came and went. I like Warner’s work from MLW, but this wasn’t working as it was the bad kind of deathmatch nonsense and didn’t do anything.

G-Raver is a monster but Su Yung has sent him an evil rose and James Mitchell is ready for her to end G-Raver for good.

Another intermission, featuring a funeral home documentary.

A woman named Jamie Senegal (I think?) says this show needs a diva so she’ll be a guest referee.

G-Raver vs. Su Yung

Senegal is guest referee and doesn’t seem that popular. Yung chases Jamie off to start and then stops to yell at the stairs. They go to opposite ends of the room and we’re ready to go, with the referee calling for a bell for the first time tonight. Raver throws her into a wall to start but Yung is back with a whip into the steps. A chair is tossed at Raver’s head but he shrugs it off and hammers away.

Raver knocks her down and gets in a stomp to the back but Yung hits him in the face. The spear sends Raver through a door for a delayed two and Yung needs a breather. Raver hits a kendo stick shot to the back but Yung gets in a few stick shots of her own. Cue a parade of undead brides and they’ve got glass. This takes so long that Raver is able to hit a knee to the face for his own delayed two.

Raver busts out some tattoo needles (I remember Race and Brisco doing that back in 74) and stabs them into Yung’s head (Race vs. Brisco in 75) but Yung mists him. Yung takes some time getting up and a double clothesline puts both of them down again. A palm strike knocks Raver down again and they get over to the glass stretched out on the chairs.

Both escape finishers until the Panic Switch sends Raver through the glass for two (with commentary freaking out). Cue the undead brides again as Yung puts on Raver’s mask. She also grabs the….whatever the Grim Reaper carries with him but can’t quite stab him. Instead, Raver powerbombs her onto the brides for the pin, despite the referee implying Yung kicked out.

Rating: D+. At least there was something of a story here, even if it wasn’t good for the most part. Yung is one of the better evil/dead characters you’ll see and she plays the part rather well. Raver is someone I’ve heard of before but he didn’t show me much here. The ending being messed up didn’t help either, but pinning someone on a pile of people can’t be easy.

Post match Yung is back up with a Mandible Claw and a bag of thumbtacks. Said tacks are put in Raver’s mouth for a palm strike, but he’s right back with a brainbuster onto a chair so he can leave. The undead brides carry Yung away, as is their custom.

Fox says all good things must come to an end, but he isn’t sure if he would call everything tonight good. Preach it brother.

Alex Colon vs. Masada

Deathmatch dream match or something. They go straight to the brawling with Colon punching away. Masada is back up trade various hard shots to the head, with Masada missing a bunch of chair shots. Colon gets a trashcan put over his head as they fight up into the crowd. The bloody Masada gets the better of things as they fight back down to the floor with Colon in trouble. Some chairs are set up with a big skewer board being sat on top of it.

Masada puts some of the skewers in Colon’s head and adds some sign shots. Colon puts some skewers back into Masada’s head, allowing him to walk around for the horrible visual. They slug it out with Masada hitting him low and busting out more skewers. It’s time for a barbed wire door to be laid over some chairs but Colon fights back. Two low blows cut that off and it’s the Death Valley Driver off the platform through the door to give Masada the pin at 7:57.

Rating: D. This was your freak show match with the skewers and all that garbage to wrap up the night. Colon got beaten up pretty badly here and Masada continues to be some kind of a deathmatch legend. It was all about the blood and violence with a not exactly huge spot to wrap it up. At least it’s over though.

We actually roll credits to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: D-. I don’t think there’s any secret to the fact that this is not for me and I would not have gotten into this if I knew what it was beforehand. I’m not sure how you can call it a wrestling show when they don’t actually have a ring but I guess that’s the point of something like this. It has its audience and that’s all bad and worse, but egads this is hard to watch at times. The only good thing is that it was barely two hours when you favor out all of the delays. Just more violence and brawling throughout, albeit with a few talented people sprinkled throughout.

 

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Major League Wrestling Fusion – May 9, 2020: Takeover

IMG Credit: Major League Wrestling

Fusion #109
Date: May 9, 2020
Location: Auditorio de Tijuana, Tijuana, Mexico
Commentators: Rich Bocchini, AJ Kirsch

We’ll wrap it up here as MLW is out of original content after tonight. I’m not sure what to expect here, but the best thing is that LA Park will be in the ring tonight. I remember him back in WCW over twenty years ago and last week had me laughing more than once. It took some time but he’s one of the best things going at the moment. He just might not be around for awhile. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Psycho Clown is ready to bring the rest of his clowns to take out the Parks.

Opening sequence.

The announcers preview the show.

The Parks want the Tag Team Titles.

Konnan is happy with the Super Series and now they want a rematch on MLW’s court.

Dan Lambert wants Low Ki to undergo a psychiatric evaluation.

Pagano wants to change lucha libre. Every party needs a clown.

The Dynasty is in Bucksnort, Tennessee and the smell has ruined Richard Holliday’s coffee. Gino Medina brings up meth gators but they realize that Hammerstone is gone. Hammerstone pops up and is AMAZED that there are raccoons over here. Holliday needs out of here now.

Here’s the Top Ten:

10. Dominic Garrini

9. Low Ki

8. Mance Warner

7. King Mo

6. Richard Holliday

5. Tom Lawlor

4. Brian Pillman Jr.

3. Myron Reed

2. Davey Boy Smith Jr.

1. Alexander Hammerstone

We look back at the Dynasty buying Savio Vega’s childhood home and naming himself Richie Two Titles.

Mance Warner has been drinking and thinking about climbing the ladder of success. Not in a ladder match, but there will be ladders involved. It needs to be Warner/Savio Vega vs. the Dynasty with the titles, the house and Gino Medina’s gold watch above the ring. It’s going to be a Triple Tower of Doom match, with a caged ring on the bottom, with a bunch of weapons included. Above that, we have a cage with light tubes and barbed wire because red equals green. Then at the very top is all the gold. It’ll be two on three, but maybe he can call up Big Sexy, Glacier or PN NEWS!

We recap the Super Series, with MLW up 4-3 going into the final match.

Los Parks vs. Nino de Hamburguesa/Nicho El Millionairio/Psycho Clown

The Parks are representing MLW and Nicho is better known as Psicosis. Psycho Clown and Park’s sons are wearing unidentified titles. The Parks start the fight in a hurry and the beating is on. Park Jr. hits Nino in the head as Park and Clown fight into the crowd. Hijo and Nicho are inside as well with the skeletons hammering away with some chairs.

A bar table is thrown in and Nino is knocked through a regular table at ringside. Park and Clown are back and a bar table to Clown’s face puts him down. A middle rope triple bomb has Nino bouncing off the bar table and the skeletons are dominating. We need some more weapons so it’s time for a trashcan and a crate of beer bottles. The Clown gets hit in the head with the crate and Nino gets suplexed onto the trashcan.

Nino loses his shirt and gets whipped with a belt, followed by some chops to the rather large chest and stomach. He finally runs the Parks over with a shoulder and it’s Clown taking LA Park into the crowd for a beating with chairs. The sons are beaten down with chairs inside as well, including a low blow to Park Jr. Clown and company run in a circle around the ring as Park is back in. He stares down all three of them at once and we actually get down into a regular tag format. Sure why not after the ten minute brawl.

A right hand drops Clown but everything breaks down again, with the Parks all being knocked down. Nino hits a big triple splash and Clown grabs a sloppy victory roll for two on Park. Park gets sent head first into Hijo’s crotch and Nicho hits a triple Bronco Buster. Nino adds a triple Cannonball and it’s a triple rollup for two each on the Parks. Nicho is left alone for a Downward Spiral on Hijo for a near fall so Hijo pops back up for a Superman punch. A Codebreaker out of the corner rocks Nicho and Park Jr. superkicks Nino.

Back up and Nino drops a leg on Park Jr. so Park kicks the referee to break up the count. We get another Park vs. Clown showdown so they can chop and clothesline it out. Park gets the better of it until Nicho comes in to chop Park in the back. A spinwheel kick drops Park for two but he pops up and tells Nicho to hit him. There’s another spinwheel kick to put Park outside, setting up a suicide dive.

Clown hits a big flip dive onto Park, Park Jr. and Nicho. Hijo adds an Asai moonsault so Nino dives….onto his own partners by mistake. Back in and a German suplex drops Nicho for a ridiculously delayed two (the referee couldn’t have been more out of position if he tried). Cue Pagano with a chair to take out the Parks but the referee gets rid of him. Park spears Nicho down for the pin at 22:04.

Rating: C. This went on for a long time and while it could have been cut down, I was never bored and there were some entertaining spots. I wouldn’t have bet on Park being someone so fun to watch but he has grown on me a lot in recent months. This felt like a huge match and while it probably felt bigger in Mexico, it worked well here.

MLW – 5

AAA – 3

That’s the final score of the series and I’m sure they’ll do this again.

Contra hacks the feed and we see a bloody Davey Boy Smith Jr. down with a Contra flag draped over him. Tonight, the war is waged. He has promised a reckoning for over a year and tonight it is taking place. Josef Samael is at MLW Headquarters in New York where he is now sitting on the throne. We see wrestlers and executives being attacked and laid out as Samael says the rise of MLW is over. Contra has seized the company and if you try to rise up, the soldiers will have a violent response. So there’s your angle for why there are no more shows for the time being.

Overall Rating: C+. The match itself was fine and then the big angle at the end of the show made it better. This was definitely more like a season finale and I’m not sure when we will be seeing more of the standard MLW shows. It’s a shame that they went out on such an intriguing note, but well done for setting up a cliffhanger for their return.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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