Monday Night Raw
Date: March 4, 1996
Location: Cincinnati Gardens, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re less than a month away from Wrestlemania and Shawn Michaels is the star of the show. Michaels is on his way to the main event against Bret Hart for the WWF Title but he needs to be built up a bit more on the way there. That could mean some good matches along the Road To Wrestlemania so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a preview of the show.

Opening sequence.

Shawn Michaels vs. 1-2-3 Kid

Yeah this should work. Kid charges at Michaels before the bell and gets backdropped outside, even as the music is still playing. Michaels mocks the martial arts pose and gets taken down with a headlock as we officially start. A headlock takeover out of the corner brings Michaels down and Kid gets in a kick for two more. Back up and Michaels sends him to the floor and skins the cat, followed by a rare gorilla press slam.

We get a split screen interview with Bret Hart, who says he wouldn’t let Michaels get away with this stuff. Michaels grinds away on a headlock of his own but Kid is back up with a spinwheel kick for a breather. Kid sends him outside and hits a big dive, which has Lawler rather happy. Michaels’ head is rammed into the floor, which Hart doesn’t like as he doesn’t have any personal animosity against Michaels (A-HUH).

Back in and Kid kicks him down for two more and we take a break. We come back with Kid grabbing a chinlock until Michaels gets up, only to be kicked in the face for two more. Michaels fights up and hits the forearm as it’s already time for the comeback. Back up and Michaels head fakes him on a crossbody, setting up a top rope standing moonsault press for two instead. The top rope elbow connects but Kid bails from the threat of a superkick. Kid gets back in and manages a slam, only to miss a guillotine legdrop. Now the superkick can finish for Michaels at 13:36.

Rating: B. I for one am shocked that this was a good match as you had two talented stars getting some time to really make things work. It was one of the better matches you’ll see on Raw around this time, and the fact that they were friends behind the scenes is just a coincidence of course. Either way, heck of a match here.

Post match a kid gets in the ring to dance with Michaels. Eh sweet enough.

We get a Goldust film called Piper’s Pit, which is Goldust, with Marlena, on the set of, well, Piper’s Pit. He talks about the fantasies he had as a teenager from watching Roddy Piper on the set of the show. Stuff like the coconut bursting on Jimmy Snuka’s head you see. And the skirt, which had Goldust thinking about various things. Goldust picks up the bagpipes and isn’t very good at them. Yeah I think we get the idea here as they weren’t exactly pouring on the subtlety.

We look back at some great Ultimate Warrior moments, because he’s back at Wrestlemania.

Roddy Piper (WWF President at this point) is watching Raw in Hollywood and he needs to talk to Vince McMahon.

Hakushi vs. Justin Bradshaw

Uncle Zebekiah is here with Bradshaw, who is played to the ring by…Michael Hayes and the Raw Band. Which is actually a real thing. Ok then. Bradshaw starts stomping away as Vince talks to Piper, who says that he’ll announce Ultimate Warrior’s Wrestlemania opponent next week.

As Bradshaw kicks Hakushi in the face and drops a leg, Piper talks about how he fought Adrian Adonis so he knows what kind of mind games Goldust is playing. Hakushi fights up but charges into a boot to the floor, with Bradshaw hitting a dive to take him down again. Back in and another big boot sets up the lariat to finish for Bradshaw at 4:10.

Rating: C-. Well that seems to be it for Hakushi, who was more or less squashed here as the match was a backdrop for Piper talking about Goldust. Bradshaw is a fine choice for a Stan Lariat clone (minus a lot of the talent and charisma) but it’s not like this is going to get him very far. Not much to see here, and that’s a bad sign for Hakushi’s future.

Post match Hakushi gets hogtied and branded.

Mankind is in a very dark room (we can’t see his face) and talks about how he has dealt with evil for years and now it is time for others to face it as well. No one will have a nice day.

Bret Hart vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Non-title and we get a clip of a fan being moved to tears by getting Hart’s sunglasses at a recent live event. That’s awesome. Helmsley sends him into the corner to start but charges into a boot, allowing Hart to hit a clothesline. Hart hammers away and grabs an armbar for some cranking. Cue Shawn Michaels with a chair to watch at ringside and we take a break.

We come back with Hart taking him down by the arm again and working on a hammerlock. Helmsley gets up and rakes the eyes, allowing him to send Hart outside. Hart is fine enough to knock a dive out of the air as Vince thought Helmsley and Michaels might be in cahoots together (make your own jokes).

Back in and Helmsley hammers away in the corner, setting up a rather hard whip into the corner for two. We take another break and come back with Hart hitting a bulldog into the backbreaker. Naturally the middle rope elbow follows for two but Helmsley rolls him up for the same. Helmsley goes up and dives right into the Sharpshooter for the submission at 17:21.

Rating: B-. Helmsley wasn’t up to the next level yet but Hart was there to carry him far enough. It helps that the point of this match was to tease tension between Michaels and Hart, who are building towards one of the biggest matches of the year. Helmsley being in this kind of a match is a good sign for him, though he has a lot of work to do.

Michaels applauds Hart and leaves without incident.

And now, Tee Vee Trivia, which is a game show parody, featuring various quotes from Ted Turner, because this is a thing that had to happen for months on end. The one funny bit: we’re asked where the Huckster (Get it?) is and we cut to an empty arena, where he is still handcuffed to the ring, as he was to close Nitro. As usual, it’s just petty nonsense from the WWF, as they keep insulting Turner for daring to try to have something of his own and it went very badly for them for a good while.

Overall Rating: B. Yeah you can’t argue with a show like this, as you had two long matches, both of which went well. It helped set up Wrestlemania, but there is only so much on the card outside of Hart vs. Michaels. Piper vs. Goldust isn’t exactly working and there is a good chance it’s only going to get worse. The stuff that worked did so rather well though and that’s a great thing to see after some less than thrilling shows.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 10, 1996
Location: Cumberland County Memorial Auditorium, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re less than two weeks away from King Of The Ring and the tournament has already started. That’s the kind of thing that can carry a show, but we also have Mankind still wanting to hurt the Undertaker. In addition, we have Shawn Michaels dealing with the British Bulldog. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

King Of The Ring First Round: Owen Hart vs. Yokozuna

Hart, with Jim Cornette, jumps him from behind to start fast but Yokozuna headbutts his way out of trouble. The big elbow misses Hart though and he’s back with a running crotch attack on the ropes. A running spinwheel kick drops Yokozuna for two but for some reason Hart tries a headbutt. Yokozuna drops him with a headbutt of his own and tries the Banzai Drop, only to fall off the ropes and give Hart the pin (with feet on the ropes) at 3:59.

Rating: C-. Yokozuna cannot do much right now and that’s becoming more and more obvious. He’s so big and it’s becoming obvious that his size is all he has at this point. Hart beat him in about four minutes, which isn’t a great sign for Yokozuna’s future. Nothing match, but they did about all they could.

Yesterday on the Action Zone, Jake Roberts talked about his drug issues.

In the back, Yokozuna can’t believe he lost again and talks about how he wants to get his hands on Jim Cornette. For now, he’s going to leave and figure out what he wants to do.

King Of The Ring First Round: Marc Mero vs. Skip

Jake Roberts is on commentary and Sable is here with Mero. They take their time to start with Mero backing him into the corner and giving him quite the stare. A hiptoss and armdrag have Skip on the floor but he moves before Mero can dive. Back in and Mero charges into a boot in the corner, followed by Skip’s middle rope fist to the face.

Mero catches him on top but gets knocked down, only to dropkick Skip out of the air. Skip catches him on top for a change but a super hurricanrana is blocked. Mero’s top rope sunset flip gets two and we take a break. We come back with Skip grabbing a gutwrench suplex and we hit the chinlock.

Mero fights up and hits the running knee but misses a charge and crashes out to the floor. They change places and Mero hits a flip dive to the floor, followed by a slingshot dive (the Bad Day as it was called in WCW) for two. A super hurricanrana gives Mero the pin at 14:27.

Rating: C+. Mero was starting to figure this stuff out, which mainly included showing off his athleticism. He was someone with a good enough look and who could move out there, even with Sable out there. She’s not a huge focal point yet, but that’s going to be the case, as it tends to be with women managing good guys.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring for a chat and Vince McMahon brings out the Ultimate Warrior, who is in a hat for no apparent reason. Lawler praises the artwork in Warrior’s comic book and presents him with a (rather nice) portrait of Warrior that Lawler did himself. Warrior says Lawler is a CON artist, and while he appreciates the art, there is only one king and that is Warrior himself.

Lawler hits him with the portrait and runs off, with Warrior giving chase (without even going down) I’m assuming the hat was covering up a pad of some kind. If that’s the case, it makes Lawler complaining about the hat on the infamous Warrior DVD all the worse. It’s a fine angle, but was anyone overly interested in Warrior vs. Lawler?

Undertaker vs. British Bulldog

Owen Hart, Diana Smith and Paul Bearer are here too. Before the bell, we get a split screen interview with Shawn Michaels at the WWF Studios, but Jim Cornette jumps on commentary to ask how it felt to lose to the Bulldog. Cornette has a surprise: there is going to be a guest referee at King Of The Ring and Cornette gets to pick him.

Michaels knows he’s in trouble and we get the opening bell. They take their time to get going until Undertaker throws him into the corner to hammer away. Bulldog bails outside for a breather but comes back in for Old School, with Cornette not understanding how that is possible. A nice legdrop gets two but Bulldog is back up with his delayed suplex. Undertaker fights back until a powerslam puts him down for two more.

We take a break and come back with Bulldog holding a chinlock, naturally complete with his foot on the rope. The comeback doesn’t take long but Bulldog knocks him down again to restart the chinlocking. Undertaker fights up again, this time with a belly to back suplex for the break. Back up and Undertaker slips out of the running powerslam as we take another break. We come back again with Undertaker hitting a chokeslam and they go outside, with Bulldog being sent into the steps. They head back inside…but Mankind pops out from underneath the ring to grab Undertaker for the DQ at 11:24.

Rating: C. Well there was no way we were getting a clean finish when these two have big matches coming up at King Of The Ring. It would be insane to go that way so this was more about waiting for Mankind to come out and do something. That’s a fine enoughw ay to go and the match wasn’t bad, but dang there was a good deal of chinlocking.

Mankind beats Undertaker down and hits a piledriver to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was definitely a step up from the previous week, if nothing else due to having some better action. Undertaker and Mankind is a hot feud and overshadows the dull stuff that is Bulldog vs. Michaels. That’s about all you can ask for here and it was a good enough show on the way to the pay per view.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 3, 1996
Location: Cumberland County Memorial Auditorium, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on King Of The Ring and there is a good chance that we’ll get some matches in the tournament either this week or sooner. Other than that, WWF Champion Shawn Michaels is still dealing with the British Bulldog, who Michaels couldn’t beat last month at In Your House. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Goldust giving Ahmed Johnson mouth to mouth resuscitation, which was received about as well as expected. Then Goldust posed wearing only his robe and the Intercontinental Title as he taunted Johnson.

Opening sequence.

King Of The Ring First Round: Steve Austin vs. Bob Holly

Austin backs him into the corner to start before grabbing a headlock. Holly’s hammerlock is broken up and Austin takes him down by the leg. Back up and Holly takes him into the corner to hammer away, earning himself a nasty backbreaker. A middle rope elbow gives Austin two and we’re off to the chinlock. We take a break and come back with Holly still in the chinlock but he fights up to send Austin into some buckles. That doesn’t get him anywhere though as Austin is right back with the Million Dollar Dream for the win to advance at 12:15.

Rating: C. Yeah this wasn’t much, but there was no reason to believe that Austin was going to lose to Holly. At the end of the day, Austin might not be the obvious next big thing here, but he’s certainly bigger than Holly at the moment. He’s going to need something besides the Million Dollar Dream though.

Jerry Lawler mocks Ultimate Warrior’s comic book and shows a (nice) drawing he’s made of his own comic book cover, featuring THE ULTIMATE LOSER.

Mankind vs. Barry Horowitz

Mankind goes right at him to start but gets caught with a quick dropkick. Mankind misses a charge into the corner though and gets rolled up, only to hammer Horowitz down. The running Tree of Woe elbow hits Horowitz and we go outside…to take a break? We come back with Mankind grabbing the Mandible Claw for the win at 6:54.

Rating: C-. Mankind vs. Barry Horowitz does not need a break, but for some reason the match got that much time. Mankind was still new at this point but he had hit the ground running, already tormenting the Undertaker. Taking this long to beat Horowitz didn’t help, but at least it was fairly dominant.

Post match Mankind talks about wanting to hurt the Undertaker. Of all the things he has lost, he thinks he misses his mind the most.

We look at Shawn Michaels vs. British Bulldog going to a double pin at Beware Of Dog.

We look at Ahmed Johnson losing his mind of having Goldust kiss him last week.

Goldust, still with just the belt covering him, says he was saving Johnson’s life last week. They’re fighting at King Of The Ring and Johnson will never forget Goldust’s name.

Godwinns vs. Tekno Team 2000

Sunny is on commentary and we get a promo from the* Bodydonnas, who are looking for a new manager. We even get an address for people to send in applications. Travis works on Henry’s head to start before it’s off to Phineas, who keeps looking at Sunny. We actually get a handshake between Phineas and Troy, with the latter pulling him into the corner to take over. Travis’ standing moonsault gets two but Phineas gets up and brings Henry back in. House is quickly cleaned and the Slop Drop finishes for Henry at 6:03.

Rating: D+. For the life of me I still don’t know what Tekno Team 2000 was supposed to be but they didn’t work. The Godwinns weren’t much better, as the tag division was moving in a different direction and they were still doing their goofy stuff. That being said, Sunny was the focal point here and that often works, as she had so much star power and you couldn’t avoid it.

We look at Clarence Mason claiming to have been injured by Gorilla Monsoon, which is total nonsense of course.

King Of The Ring First Round: Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Jake Roberts

Helmsley’s headlock takes Roberts down to start and we get a quick curtsy. Back up and Roberts hiptosses him into a knee lift, with Helmsley bailing out to the floor. Roberts is smart enough to wait inside, where he takes Helmsley down by the arm. The armbar goes on for a bit until a frustrated Helmsley rolls outside again.

We take a break and come back with Helmsley sending him into the corner. Helmsley drops a knee for two as commentary talks about Warrior’s comic book. More stomping sets up a chinlock but Roberts jawbreaks his way to freedom. The threat of a DDT is broken up with a ram into the corner and we take another break. We come back again with Roberts hitting the DDT for the pin at 16:15.

Rating: C+. It’s a bit weird to see Helmsley losing like this, but at the same time the DDT was up there as an all time devastating finisher. The fans reacted to it rather well and Roberts getting a Cinderella run in the tournament isn’t a bad idea. Other than that, the match was probably the best thing on the show, which is rather telling.

Overall Rating: C-. The tournament needs to get going, because there is not much going on with the show otherwise. Michaels vs. Bulldog isn’t interesting and without Undertaker here to brawl with him, Mankind is just sort of weird. That’s pretty much the show at this point, and this show didn’t make me want to see what they have going on at the moment.

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 9, 1996
Location: New Haven Coliseum, New Haven, Connecticut
Attendance: 4,968
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

After last week’s less than thrilling show, it’s time to do something else to pick up the pace. Therefore, this week it’s the Undertaker vs. Mankind in a no holds barred match. I’m not sure how that is going to go, but even a short form version of those two fighting each other is worth a look. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look back at Undertaker vs. Mankind.

Sid vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Non-title. Sid jumps him in the aisle to start fast and sends him inside. The clothesline puts Helmsley back on the floor and there’s the chokeslam into the powerbomb. Helmsley crawls out for the countout at 2:57.

We look at the Boiler Room Brawl, with Mankind beating Undertaker at Summerslam 1996.

Goldust vs. Bart Gunn

Marlena is here with Goldust, who jumps Gunn to start. Gunn gets dropped throat first across the top rope and Goldust sends him outside to keep up the beating. Some shots to the ribs don’t get Gunn very far as Goldust grabs a suplex back inside. Billy Gunn is shown watching in the back and doesn’t think much of Bart’s efforts. Goldust grabs the chinlock for a bit before Gunn misses a charge into the buckle. We take a break and come back with Gunn hammering away in the corner. A running crossbody and bulldog give Gunn two but he misses a spinning high crossbody. Goldust chop blocks him for the pin at 5:59.

Rating: C. Eventually they’ll figure out that Gunn isn’t interesting but it might take some time to get there. At least Goldust got the win here, even if it was kind of a weird way to get there. Just not much of an interesting match, with the highlight being Billy’s rather snazzy cowboy outfit.

Post match here is Billy to say HE won the Tag Team Titles, with Bart just being along for the ride. Bart fights up and chases Billy off, limping as he goes.

Uncle Zebekiah and Justin Bradshaw are ready to make Jesse Jammes squeal.

We preview the Karate Fighters finals. Yes.

Justin Bradshaw vs. Jesse Jammes

Rematch from last week and Uncle Zebekiah is here with Bradshaw. Jammes jumps Bradshaw to start and even takes out Zebekiah. A Japanese armdrag takes Bradshaw down for two but he sends Jammes outside. Back in and Bradshaw and Zebekiah hammer away (the referee does at least chastise Zebekiah) as I guess this is a handicap match. Jammes rolls Zebekiah up for two but Bradshaw makes the save.

The double teaming in the corner is broken up but Bradshaw cuts him off with a side slam. Jammes comes back with a middle rope clothesline and loads up the pumphandle slam, which is broken up just as fast. Bradshaw grabs a full nelson and Zebekiah brings in his branding iron but hits Bradshaw by mistake, giving Jammes the pin at 5:49.

Rating: C. It’s a bad sign when I’m not even sure what the rules are for the match. That being said, I’ll take this over another singles match between the two of them, as they are only so good in the ring in the first place. This hasn’t been the most thrilling feud, but at least they mixed it up a bit here.

Post match Bradshaw beats Zebekiah up.

Here is Bret Hart for a chat about this title match with Sid at It’s Time. We recap Hart’s recent issues with Steve Austin, which lead to his issues with Sid. Hart has wanted to be WWF Champion again for the last six months and Sid is the only thing in his way. When Sid snaps, people call him Psycho, but when Hart snaps, they’ll call him the WWF Champion. That’s a great line to wrap it up.

Undertaker vs. Mankind

Anything goes and Paul Bearer is here with Mankind and his early distraction earns Mankind a boot to the face. The chokeslam hits less than a minute in but here is the Executioner to break up the Tombstone. Undertaker stalks him to the back and we take a break. We come back with Mankind hammering away on the floor but Undertaker goes after the Mandible Claw hand.

Said hand is stomped and crushed on the steps but Mankind takes out the leg. They’re quickly back on the floor, with Undertaker being sent knees first into the steps. Mankind drops the apron elbow onto the leg and they’re back in, with Undertaker barely being able to stand. They’re already back on the floor, with Undertaker throwing him over the announcers’ table.

We take another break and come back again with Mankind using a drop toehold of all things to escape a chokeslam attempt. Undertaker kicks and punches a chair into Mankind’s face but Mankind is fine enough to grab the Mandible Claw. That’s broken up with a ram into the corner though and Undertaker hits the Tombstone for the pin at 16:17.

Rating: B-. Not their best match, but it’s hard to beat what they’ve done before. What matters the most is that they were able to beat the living daylights out of each other for a good while, which is what they do as well as anyone else at the moment. Undertaker getting a clean win is a bit of a surprise, and the match did feel big for the show.

Post match Executioner comes in to choke Undertaker out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The main event helped it a lot and that’s the best thing on the entire card. Hart vs. Sid should be fine for a B show main event, with Hart’s closing line being a nice preview for the match. Other than that though, there wasn’t much to see on here, which was the case for a lot of shows around this time.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Summerslam 1999
Date: August 22, 1999
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 17,130
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is the end of the summer for an interesting year in the WWF. The main event is the now mega heel HHH and the returning Mankind challenging Austin for the world title, but there’s another main attraction: Minnesota Governor and former wrestler Jesse Ventura is the guest referee for the second time in the history of this event. 1999 is a year remembered for a lot of flash and little substance but hopefully that doesn’t hold true here. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about various guest referees over the years, including Mike Tyson and both McMahons. Jesse Ventura talks about how he’ll be the law in the ring and doesn’t care what happens.

Jesse lectures Chyna and HHH about not cheating. Chyna is allowed to be out there but the pinfall has to be in the ring and it has to be legal.

The recently debuted Chris Jericho yells at Jericholic Howard Finkel for being late.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. D’Lo Brown

Brown holds both titles coming in and Jarrett’s manager Debra is in a bikini with a coat over it. Jeff sends her to the back to make sure the fans completely hate him. In the back, Debra offers to escort Brown to the ring to get back at Jarrett. Jeff jumps D’Lo to start but the champion comes back with a powerslam for one. Another powerslam gets two and Jeff can’t bail to the floor for a breather. A leapfrog is countered into a short powerbomb for two but Jeff comes back with a sleeper.

Brown is sent to the floor and a baseball slide sends him into the barricade. Ross gets in one of his eye roll worthy lines by saying Brown wasn’t safe on that one. I love JR but when he gets bad it’s hard not to cringe. A clothesline puts Jarrett over the barricade and Brown pounds away. This is basic stuff so far but not bad at all. Back in and Jarrett gets in some shots to take over as the fans are behind the champion.

Jarrett hits a tornado DDT on the arm and wraps it around the post. The fans are more interested in the recently named Puppies. Jarrett misses a running crotch attack and gets caught in a running Liger Bomb for no cover. A tilt-a-whirl powerslam gets two and a quick legdrop gets two. Brown misses a modified Swanton but here’s Debra on the apron. Jeff gets the guitar but here’s Brown’s training partner Mark Henry to destroy the guitar over D’Lo’s head to give Jarrett the titles. Debra of course rejoins Jeff eight minutes after leaving him.

Rating: C+. Nice opener here but the scent of Russo is strong in this one. Debra turned twice within a span of ten minutes in addition to interference and a run-in during a match for two titles at once. These two could clearly have a good match on their own but we had to bog it down with extra stuff anyway. That’s Russo 101: yeah it can make things interesting, but at other times it gets in the way of good wrestling.

Edge and Christian are ready for Tag Team Turmoil (a tag team gauntlet match) tonight. They outgrew Gangrel and are ready for his new team: the Hardys.

Tag Team Turmoil

As mentioned, Edge and Christian start against the Hardys which is a layup for a good start. The Canadians are good guys here and we have six teams involved with the winners getting a tag title shot tomorrow on Raw. Naturally it’s a brawl to start until we get down to Edge vs. Matt. A DDT puts the Hardy down and it’s off to Christian for a double hiptoss for two. Christian BADLY misses a spinwheel kick but it’s Gangrel interfering to give the Hardys control.

The Hardys take their shirts off to almost no reaction so you know they’re evil here. Jeff hits a slingshot springboard moonsault for two followed by Poetry in Motion to crush Christian in the corner. Matt takes forever to cover and brings in Jeff for a senton (not yet the Swanton) Bomb for two.

Edge makes the save and allows Christian to hit a double reverse DDT to set up the hot tag. Everything breaks down and it’s Edge and Jeff running the barricades to set up a spear in midair. Christian dives onto them both followed by Matt mostly missing a moonsault to take everyone else out. Back in and Edge pulls Matt off the top, setting up a top rope elbow to give Christian the pin.

The third team in is Mideon/Viscera and the big man is starting with Christian. Viscera hits a quick Samoan drop for no cover and it’s off to Mideon for a double elbow drop. A knee drop gets two but Christian avoids a middle rope elbow. Off to Edge who speeds things up but gets drilled by a spinwheel kick (again it barely connected but it’s more excusable with Viscera). Edge avoids a charging big man and a double shoulder puts Viscera outside. Mideon is speared down for the pin.

Droz/Prince Albert (Tensai) are the fourth team and it’s Albert quickly throwing Edge into the corner. JR gets on Jerry for not knowing anything about Albert but Lawler makes a great point: “Look at him and you know everything you need to know.” Albert gets two off a neckbreaker as the announcers argue whether football careers matter in wrestling (Hint: most of the time they don’t). Christian chop blocks Albert and the Downward Spiral sends Edge and Christian to the next match.

The Acolytes are here before the three count and it’s Bradshaw working over Edge to start. Edge comes back with a swinging neckbreaker and a missile dropkick as JR is whiny because Lawler pointed out how stupid the football stats were. Bradshaw powerbombs Edge out of the corner for two and it’s off to Faarooq. ANOTHER spinwheel kick barely connects (the production staff isn’t on their game tonight) but Bradshaw gets a tag before Christian does.

A belly to back suplex gets two for Bradshaw and it’s back to Faarooq for more basic power offense. We hit the chinlock for a bit before the Faarooq spinebuster sets up an arrogant cover for two. Edge gets up for a DDT and it’s a double tag to Christian and Bradshaw. Everything breaks down and Christian gets two off a tornado DDT. Edge drops Christian onto Bradshaw as the Hollys come out before the pin. The distraction lets Bradshaw kill Christian with the Clothesline to get us down to the final two teams.

Faarooq hits a quick Dominator on Crash but Hardcore makes the save. The cousins get in an argument over who gets to fight Faarooq but it’s the Acolytes getting to beat up Hardcore. It’s back to Crash who has no effect on Faarooq so the announcers bicker some more to entertain us. Hardcore finally gets the tag and dropkicks Faarooq, triggering a brawl between the cousins. Faarooq hits a quick spinebuster on Hardcore for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C-. This match had the same issues that almost all gauntlet matches have: if these teams can get wins this fast, why don’t they do it all the time? The matches are just quick segments instead of actual matches with the longest being a slightly longer version of a TV match. However there was hope on the horizon as Edge and Christian and the Hardys would have a rematch with ladders in two months. Also, a team is coming from Dudleyville in about two weeks. The magic approaches.

The Hollys fight again.

Big Show and Undertaker arrive.

Al Snow grooms his dog Pepper and warns him of Boss Man singing Ethel Merman songs. Good advice actually.

Road Dogg comes out to watch the next match. He wants a shot at the Hardcore Title tomorrow night but here’s the brand new Chris Jericho to interrupt him. He’s on a raised platform in front of the crowd and this is his PPV debut. Jericho is disappointed in this whole show. He can’t believe it but Raw is Snore has been topped by Summersham. The people here have been conned into paying for it and now they look like fools.

Jericho rips on the roster and says the worst is standing in the ring right now. No one cares about Roadie and his spelling. If Dogg wants to be impressive, spell lugubrious. He makes fun of Dogg’s clothes and haircut and says DX sure sucks. Road Dogg tells him to shut up and Jericho is SHOCKED. Dogg’s mama cares about him but he’s not sure if he should do the catchphrase because Jericho might take him up on it.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Big Boss Man

Boss Man is defending and Dogg is doing commentary. Before the match Snow leaves Pepper in a small kennel in the back. Snow: “You know Head came to the ring with me.” Snow is waiting on Boss Man on the set and hits a high cross body to get us going. Dogg gets up and is going to be a roving reporter. Snow hits Man with a chair and they go to the back almost immediately.

Boss Man comes back with right hands and breaks a chalkboard over Snow’s head. Pepper’s case goes upside Snow’s head but Snow hits him with the board. Boss Man steals a crutch to blast Snow in the back before sending him into the Pepsi machine. Snow avoids the falling machine and throws Boss Man into the side of an SUV. They open a garage door and head outside before going across the street to a bar.

They’re fighting in front of the door and a superkick gets two for Snow. Snow is thrown through the patio furniture for two and we head inside. A shot with the Yellow Pages puts Snow down but he gets up to hit on some chick. Snow hits him with a magazine rack and they slug it out with broomsticks.

We hit the restroom for the required “comedy” spot with Boss Man taking soap in the eye. A beer to Boss Man’s face slows him down and Snow chokes him with a chain. Snow moonsaults him through a table but Boss Man is up first. They head into the pool hall and Boss Man hits Dogg with a drink. Roadie comes back with a nightstick shot to give Snow the title in an abrupt ending.

Rating: C. This is one of the more famous hardcore matches and it’s pretty harmless goofy fun. The division was at its peak here but the 24/7 Rule was coming to make it a total parody. It was less than eight minutes so it’s hard to really complain about this one. Yeah it’s bad but it’s completely harmless for the most part.

Snow runs back across the street to check on Pepper but has to beat up Stevie Richards and Blue Meanie for some reason.

Jesse warns Mankind about using chairs and how it won’t be allowed, but Mankind would rather talk about Geraldine Ferraro’s electability.

Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Tori

Ivory is defending and Tori is just horrible for the most part. Ivory painted the word slut on Tori a few weeks ago to set this up. Tori charges in and hits a powerslam for two and it’s time for a breather. The crowd is already dead for this and a back elbow gets two for the champion. Tori hits a pair of suplexes and some lame kicks for two. Ivory is loudly calling spots to keep Tori from screwing everything up. The fans chant TAKE IT OFF as Ivory hooks a big swing. Tori comes back with a horrible spear and a middle rope cross body for two. They horribly botch a sunset flip so they do it again with Ivory sitting on Tori for the pin.

Rating: F+. Tori looked good in a bra and tight pants and that’s about it. Seriously, she was TERRIBLE and makes the modern Divas look like ring generals. Ivory was trying out there but she was hardly a miracle worker. Trish would debut soon but wouldn’t get good for about four more years.

Post match Ivory tries to take Tori’s top off but Luna Vachon makes the save, becoming the heel of the segment.

Rock verbally massacres Michael Cole by insulting his tie and implying Cole is a bit coome ci coom ca. Not that it matters as Rock is going to destroy Billy Gunn tonight. This was a bad time for Rock as he had a bunch of nothing feuds until he got back into the title hunt to close out the year.

Billy Gunn has a surprise under a tarp.

We recap Steve Blackman vs. Ken Shamrock. Blackman is recently back from an injury and they’ve been beating each other up for weeks. The result is another Lion’s Den match with weapons hanging from the cage. JR and King do the narration here for some reason.

Ken Shamrock vs. Steve Blackman

This is in the Lion’s Den which is that small cage which is NOT ripping off UFC. Not at all. You win by escape only. Blackman starts with the nunchucks but Shamrock comes back with profanity. Blackman chokes him down but gets caught in an armbar. Ken throws the nunchucks away and rams Blackman into the cage. Shamrock pounds Blackman down and whips him into the cage for a high kick to the head.

Blackman blocks a kendo stick shot and fires off kicks of his own before sending Ken into the cage. An atomic drop puts Shamrock down again and Blackman pounds him in the back with his martial arts sticks. Shamrock gets up and runs the cage wall to ram into Blackman with a kind of elbow to the face. A belly to back suplex puts Blackman down but Ken can’t quite follow up.

Back up and Blackman hits a quick DDT but Shamrock snaps off a powerslam. An enziguri puts Ken down and Steve pounds away with a kendo stick. A big shot to the head puts Ken down but he comes back with a wicked belly to belly to take over. Ken hits Blackman in the head (shoulder) with the stick….and that’s it. No reason is given but I’d assume a knockout, even though the announcers said you had to leave to win.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do anything for me. It was basically a hardcore match in a confined area which isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. It’s a far cry from last year’s version with Owen keeping up with Shamrock every step of the way. Granted this is Steve Blackman, a black hole of charisma instead of one of the best of all time. Nothing to see here but it wasn’t horrible.

We see Shane attacking Test earlier today.

Test says this is serious tonight.

Test vs. Shane McMahon

This is a Greenwich street fight with love her or leave her rules. Test is dating Stephanie but Shane doesn’t approve. If Test wins, Shane stays out of their lives but if Shane wins then the relationship ends. Test has bad ribs but Shane has no backup due to Test injuring every member of the Mean Street Posse. Scratch that theory actually as they come walking out before the match. Thanks for wasting my time on the video of Test destroying all of them. The Posse has a couch set for them in the front row.

Test takes Shane down to start but Shane hits a quick spear back inside, only to be pounded in the corner. A backdrop puts Shane down as the Posse drinks champagne. Shane is sent HARD into the steps and then into the crowd for a drink to the head. Test catches Shane diving off the barricade and powerslams him down onto the floor. Shane staggers around ringside so Test launches him at the Posse to tip the couch over.

The injured Posse goes after Test and give Shane a mailbox of all things to crack over Test’s head. A street sign stuns Test again and there’s a framed portrait of the Posse shattered over Test’s head. That’s only good for two and the fans are getting into this. Shane does a great looking leapfrog and this a jumping back elbow to the face to put Test down. A corkscrew senton (Spiral Tap) of all things misses and Test comes back with right hands.

Another leapfrog is countered into a sweet powerbomb but Rodney of the Posse distracts the referee. Test’s big boot hits the referee but he clotheslines Shane to the floor. The street sign puts Shane down again but here’s the Posse again to take Test down. They load him onto the announce table so Shane can hit the top rope elbow through Test. For a non-wrestler, Shane can drop a gorgeous elbow.

The referee is back up (why did he need to be bumped? It’s a street fight) but Test kicks out at two. The fans are really getting into this. Pete accidentally hits Shane with a sign but Rodney hits Test with his cast. That’s only good for two and now the fans are fired up. Patterson and Brisco run out to take care of the Posse and make it one on one. Shane charges into the post and it’s a pumphandle slam followed by the flying elbow to get Shane out of Test and Stephanie’s lives.

Rating: B. This took a little bit to get going but the fans got into it at the end. It’s a great example of a story carrying a match rather than the wild brawling. This was full of weapon shots and interference, but the story behind the match made people care about it. The people were invested in Test and wanted to see him fight for the woman he loved. That’s a classic story and it’s going to work every time. Good stuff here.

Stephanie comes out to celebrate post match.

We recap the tag title match. With Vince having been revealed as the Higher Power, Undertaker has been dropped down to an evil tag team with Big Show. They’re challenging X-Pac and Kane, who are in the beginning of a nearly year long story. Pac is Kane’s first real friend and the other monsters hurt him, so Kane wants revenge.

Tag Titles: Kane/X-Pac vs. Big Show/Undertaker

Kane is in the always awesome inverted attire, meaning it’s more black than red. The mash-up of Big Show and Undertaker’s themes really doesn’t work at all. It’s a big brawl to start with Undertaker easily knocking X-Pac to the floor. Kane gets double teamed in the corner but he clotheslines Big Show out to the floor and Pac gets two off a high cross body to Taker. We start with X-Pac against Taker with the big man cranking on the arm. Pac escapes and wisely tags out to give us brother vs. brother.

Taker is knocked to the floor and Pac dives off the apron to take him down. The crotch chop earned X-Pac an elbow to the face and a smile from me. Kane saves him little buddy and take Undertaker down with the top rope clothesline. Taker comes right back with his running DDT but Kane is up almost immediately. Big Show comes in to throw Kane around and drops him with a superkick.

Since this is a battle of the giants it’s time for some choking but we’re not to the bearhug yet. A powerslam gets two on Kane and it’s back to Undertaker to pound away in the corner. They slug it out and both guys go down with a double clothesline. The hot tag brings in X-Pac who catches Undertaker with a spinwheel kick (actually connects) but Big Show pulls the small man down. Everything breaks down and Pac is crotched against the post. Show slams Pac down and drops a knee to his chest. The size difference is remarkable when you see them next to each other.

There’s the bearhug but X-Pac bites his way out of it. A cross between a chokeslam and the Boss Man Slam gets two for Show but Kane breaks up the chokeslam. X-Pac hits Show low and it’s off to Kane to clean house. Everything breaks down again and X-Pac sends Taker into the post. There’s a Bronco Buster to Big Show but he pops up and chokeslams X-Pac down…..for two? Taker is MAD and goes after X-Pac in the corner before ending him with a tombstone for the titles.

Rating: D. This didn’t do it for me at all. I couldn’t stand X-Pac around this time and this is a great example of why. The whole idea of his character at this point was he wouldn’t give up, which led to him beating a lot of guys FAR bigger than him. I don’t have much of a problem with X-Pac against smaller guys, but when he’s beating people Taker’s size it was very annoying. The match was an extended squash.

Jesse gives Austin the same speech.

Billy Gunn vs. The Rock

The loser has to, shall we say, kiss up to the winner. Billy brings a fat chick with him for Rock to kiss if Rock loses. Gunn jumps him to start but Rock comes back with right hands of his own to send Gunn to the floor. They head up the aisle with Billy being sent into a metal barricade. Rock is sent into it as well and clotheslined down as Billy takes over. Rock comes back with a clothesline of his own as they fight by the Lion’s Den. This is really dull stuff so far.

They head back to ringside with Gunn sending him into the steps but being rammed face first into the announce table. Rock puts the King’s crown on Billy’s head for a right hand. Back in and Billy chokes away before getting two off a neckbreaker. Gunn drops an elbow to the chest and gets two off a bulldog.

A Stinger Splash crushes Rock but he explodes out of the corner with a running clothesline. The floatover DDT takes Gunn down but Rock can’t follow up. Rock gets two off a swinging neckbreaker and a Samoan Drop but the Rock Bottom is countered into a Fameasser. The fat woman comes into the ring but Billy goes face first into her. Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow ends this a second later.

Rating: D+. What were you expecting here? Like I said, Rock was in a funk at this point and going from lame feud to lame feud with nothing for him to work with. I mean, BILLY GUNN is the best they can do for him at Summerslam? The match wasn’t terrible but it was just killing time until the very obvious ending.

We recap the main event. Chyna actually won a #1 contenders triple threat over Undertaker and HHH but HHH went on a power trip, saying it was his shot. Mankind cost HHH a one on one match against Chyna for the shot and then beat Chyna for the title shot himself. HHH attacked Mankind’s leg, leading to a fourth #1 contenders match, resulting in a double pin and a threeway tonight.

Jesse comes out first and says he’s proud to be a wrestler. Here here!

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. Mankind vs. Triple H

Triple H and Austin start fast in the ring but Mankind pulls HHH to the floor and sends him onto the announce table. All three head into the ring with HHH being ping ponged back and forth by right hands from both guys. Mankind offers Austin a handshake but gets punched in the face instead. HHH is knocked to the floor and Mankind misses a charge at Austin to send him to the outside as well.

All three are on the floor now with no one having a clear advantage. Austin clotheslines Mankind down before slugging it out with HHH, allowing Chyna (HHH’s manager) to send Mankind into the post. Jesse tries to separate Chyna and Mankind as HHH hits Austin’s bad knee with a chair. Ventura asks the crowd if HHH hit Steve with a chair but doesn’t do anything about it once they say yes. Mankind is back in now but gets pounded down in the corner by HHH.

A quick Mandible Claw slows HHH down but Chyna breaks it up by crotching Mankind on the post. That earns her an ejection and a lecture from Ventura. Austin is back up now and pounding away on HHH in the aisle. They fight back to ringside where Austin’s bad knee is wrapped around the post. A chop block puts Austin down but Mankind is getting back up again. He breaks up a stomping from HHH to Austin, only so he can stomp Austin instead. Now they stomp Austin together to a loud chorus of boos.

HHH puts on a spinning toe hold but breaks up a cover attempt by Mankind, starting a fight between the two of them. HHH is knocked to the floor but Mankind misses a dive off the apron. Austin’s knee is almost wrapped around the post again but Mankind intercept it and brawls with HHH into the crowd. A piledriver on the concrete is broken up and Austin fights HHH again. Everyone heads back inside and there’s a low blow from Austin to HHH.

The Stunner takes down Mankind but HHH breaks it up with a chair shot. Ventura yells at HHH about it before HHH knocks Mankind out with the chair as well. HHH covers Mankind but Jesse isn’t counting a cover off an illegal move like that. Shane runs in to plead HHH’s case but gets Stunned for his efforts. Ventura throws Shane out but HHH and Steve clothesline each other down. Mankind loads up Socko and both guys get a mouthful of it but Austin kicks Mankind low to break it up.

HHH loads up the Pedigree on Mankind but Austin clotheslines HHH down to break it up. Austin punches both of his challengers and hits a Stunner on HHH but Mankind breaks up the count at two. Austin sends Mankind into the post but walks into the Pedigree. Mankind pops back up though and knocks HHH down before hitting the double arm DDT on Austin for the pin and the title in a surprise.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t all that great of a match. At the end of the day it was a pretty slow paced brawl and HHH wasn’t on this level yet. Still though, it wasn’t terrible and Jesse added some good moments to the match. This wouldn’t wind up meaning much for reasons I’ll get into in a bit. It’s a nice moment though.

Post match HHH destroys Austin and his knee with a chair, putting him on the shelf for a month.

Overall Rating: D+. This show is a product of the times and political issues kept it from having the big moment it was looking for. HHH was scheduled to win the title to end the show but Jesse didn’t want to raise a heel’s hand to end the show. The title change would take place the next night on Raw and HHH would have his first title defense on a new show called Smackdown later this week. The show is totally forgettable though with only the street fight and the main event being notable at all. Not worth seeing but there are worse shows.

Ratings Comparison

Jeff Jarrett vs. D’Lo Brown

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Tag Team Turmoil

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Big Boss Man vs. Al Snow

Original: B

Redo: C

Ivory vs. Tori

Original: F

Redo: F+

Ken Shamrock vs. Steve Blackman

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Shane McMahon vs. Test

Original: B

Redo: B

Unholy Alliance vs. X-Pac/Kane

Original: D+

Redo: D

Billy Gunn vs. The Rock

Original: B-

Redo: D+

HHH vs. Steve Austin vs. Mankind

Original: B+

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: D+

WOW and I thought 1990 was screwed up.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/03/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1999-the-body/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 30, 1996
Location: Hersheypark Arena, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 3,923
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Kevin Kelly

Things got stupid last week as Jim Ross brought back the fake Razor Ramon, which makes me wonder how long it’s going to be before we meet the fake Diesel. Thankfully we have something a bit more interesting, with Undertaker and Mankind set for a Buried Alive match next month. That should work well so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at the return of Razor Ramon.

Opening sequence.

Steve Austin vs. Jake Roberts

Jerry Lawler has a mini bottle of booze for Roberts as this is still going. Roberts drives him into the corner to start and then does it again, where Austin gets in a shot to the face. Austin’s headlock is countered with a shot to the face and he bails out to the floor. Back in and the threat of a DDT sends Austin right back to the floor, leaving Roberts to go after Lawler. Roberts cuts off a cheap shot from Austin, who takes over without much trouble back inside.

Austin slowly hammers away, including some driving shoulders in the corner. Roberts’ comeback is cut off rather quickly and a kick to the face gives Austin two. We take a break and come back with Roberts sending him into various buckles. Austin gets crotched on top but the DDT is blocked.

Austin gets two off a rollup with feet on the ropes, only for the DDT to get the same thanks to one of the same feet being on the ropes. Lawler takes some of the booze and spits it into Roberts’ face, which is enough for the Austin to hit the Stunner (minus the kick to the ribs) for the pin at 12:14.

Rating: C. My goodness how long is this Lawler vs. Roberts feud supposed to go? Roberts isn’t even talking to keep the feud going and Lawler already beat him once. It’s one of those feuds that just keeps going for whatever reason and that’s not a good sign. At least Austin got to win and feels important, even while being momentarily associated with this.

Post match Austin and Lawler beat on Roberts but Savio Vega runs in with a strap for the save.

Mankind is digging a grave as Paul Bearer approves.

Here is a ticked of Hunter Hearst Helmsley to call out Mr. Perfect for a fight. More on this later I guess.

Godwinns vs. Grimm Twins

The Twins are better known as the Harris Brothers and Hunter Hearst Helmsley is on commentary. Jason clotheslines Phineas down to start but Phineas is right back with a clothesline of his own. Jared comes in and gets shouldered by Henry and we go split screen with Mr. Perfect, who accepts the challenge. He’ll even give Helmsley a few weeks to get in shape. Jared is back with a quickly broken chinlock as Henry fights up and hits a clothesline. Phineas comes in and cleans house, including reversing a side slam into a Slop Drop for the pin at 4:24.

Rating: C. Pretty standard ordeal from the tag division at this point, with something else getting the focus while a boring match breaks out. There’s no reason to care about what the Godwinns are doing because they’re such one note characters that the interest doesn’t last long. Other than that, the Grimm Twins could have been find as a monster team, as it isn’t like they needed any kind of a gimmick to make their act work.

Remember how last week it was revealed that Jeff Jarrett didn’t sing over a year ago? It was really the Roadie singing and his name is Jesse Jammes. This is a thing that was seen as worthy of television time.

Razor Ramon vs. Savio Vega

Jim Ross explains that he never said Scott Hall would be here so he wasn’t lying. Gorilla Monsoon is on commentary to get on Ross for the whole thing as Ramon takes over in the corner. Ross and Monsoon get in an argument over whether this is really Razor Ramon when it’s not Scott Hall, with Ross saying he wasn’t going to bring Kevin Nash back either. Monsoon thinks it’s an embarrassment, sending Ross going into a rant about how embarrassing it was when he got fired.

Ramon works on the arm but Vega fights out of the armbar. A clothesline cuts him off as Dok Hendrix joins us, saying he’ll be trying to get an interview with Diesel. Ramon misses an elbow as Ross is still going on about being fired. Hendrix can’t find Diesel and we take a break. We come back with Ramon working on a chinlock as Ross WILL NOT SHUT UP about how great he is at his job. Apparently he is NOT responsible for stupid things like Doink, but here is Diesel to low bridge Vega to the floor for the DQ at 9:27.

Rating: D. So not only did they actually continue this story, but they actually gave it almost ten minutes of television time. That’s where the next big problem comes in, as Bognar is rather terrible in the ring. The real Ramon was talented and had a natural charisma to him that couldn’t be faked and that was obvious here, as the fake version was a disaster. And then fake Diesel, who at least looks a bit like the real thing (from behind at a distance if you squint), comes in for the DQ. Because they need to keep this story going as it’s just getting started you see.

Post match Ramon and Diesel wreck Vega. Ross: “Now the WWE knows how it feels to be embarrassed!” This is earning every single bit of its terrible reputation.

Undertaker promises to dig Mankind’s grave and bury him alive.

Faarooq and Sunny have split. Can he split from the gladiator gear too?

Jim Cornette/Vader vs. Jose Lothario/Shawn Michaels

Michaels and Vader start things off as Ross is still complaining about things with Diesel. Michaels slugs away but gets dropped with a single shot to the face. The running splash in the corner crushes Michaels as Lawler wants to beat on him…with a hammer. Well that’s violent. The powerbomb is countered with a hurricanrana and Michaels hammers away, setting up a top rope seated senton.

Vader sends him outside in a heap though and that means it’s time to pose. Back in and Vader runs him over a few times so it’s off to Cornette. That takes too long though and it’s off to Lothario, who drops Cornette with a single right hand. Vader comes in and goes after Lothario so Michaels comes back in to take over. The top rope elbow connects but Vader drops him again with a hard clothesline.

We take a break and come back with Vader thinking about the moonsault but trying the Vader Bomb instead, allowing Michaels to get his feet up. Michaels manages a slam but tries it again and goes down, allowing Vader to hit the powerbomb. The Vader Bomb gives Vader the pin at 9:31.

Rating: C+. Maybe it’s just how uninteresting or bad everything else has been, but I will absolutely take this for what it was worth. This was a simple story of the monster heel going after the champion and the managers being in there for their side feud. It’s not something embarrassing and it’s not something that makes me wonder why I’m wasting my time watching the whole thing. I’ll take that after everything else as as this is easily the best thing on the show.

Post match Vader goes after Michaels again but Sycho Sid runs in for the save. Goldust (facing Sid next week) runs in as well and it’s a big brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event helped a bit but at the same time, this show was focused on one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen on Raw. As is often the case for this period, it’s Shawn Michaels and just about no one else, with the tease of Undertaker vs. Mankind in a big gimmick match only having so much steam. Just stop doing stupid stuff and be amazed at how much better these shows can be.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 23, 1996
Location: Hersheypark Arena, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 3,923
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Kevin Kelly

We’re done with Mind Games and the only thing that mattered at the show was the instant classic main event, with Shawn Michaels retaining the WWF Title over Mankind. Other than that, the big story here is Jim Ross promising that Razor Ramon and Diesel will be here. However, Gorilla Monsoon made it clear that it will NOT be Kevin Nash and Diesel. Nothing good can come from this so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a quick still of Razor Ramon and Diesel attacking Savio Vega at Mind Games.

Intercontinental Title: Marc Mero vs. Faarooq

For the vacant title, Sable is here with Mero, Sunny is here with Faarooq, Mr. Perfect is on commentary and Pat Patterson is guest referee. Faarooq jumps him to start fast but Mero is right back up with a dropkick. A clothesline puts Faarooq on the floor and the big running flip dive takes him down again. Back in and the Merosault gets two but Faarooq knocks him off into the barricade.

Ahmed Johnson calls in to swear vengeance on Faarooq, who gets two off a powerslam. A super fall away slam gets two more on Mero and Sunny gets in a choke, which is enough for an ejection. We take a break and come back with Mero reversing a Dominator attempt into a backslide for two of his own. Faarooq pulls him into a chinlock before going more simple with a knee to the ribs. The chinlock goes on again as Jim Ross promises to EXPOSE JEFF JARRETT tonight. I’ll spare you the obvious jokes as Ross again promises Diesel and Razor Ramon.

Mero’s comeback doesn’t work but he catches Faarooq on top with a super hurricanrana. A double clothesline leaves both of them down, with Ross explaining that the one with the more body weight, will have the advantage due to their clothesline being harder. That makes sense. Sunny comes back out and gets in a fight with Sable, allowing Mero to grab Sunny’s purse. A shot to the head sets up the Wild Thing for the pin and the title at 14:51.

Rating: C+. As has been the case throughout this tournament, Mero’s stuff was good while Faarooq was just dull. The idea was that Faarooq thought the title was his from the start so he was a big arrogant, which allowed Mero to slip in and win. The Wild Thing looked good as always, and unlike at Summerslam, it actually won a match.

Post match Mable thanks Sable and Mr. Perfect.

Razor Ramon and Diesel have their own dressing room.

We look back at Shawn Michaels beating Jeff Jarrett last July at In Your House. That same night, Jarrett sang a song….or did he?

Marc Mero celebrates with a bunch of other wrestlers.

We look at Jeff Jarrett allegedly singing at In Your House (again, last July) but then he left before finding out that he wasn’t really singing. Next week, the REAL singer will be here.

British Bulldog/Owen Hart vs. Bodydonnas

Non-title and Clarence Mason is on commentary. Hart runs Zip over to start and gets a front facelock…and we pause because “a local Philadelphia wrestling outfit” gets a wrestler over the barricade with a SABU FEARS TAZ sign (yes it’s Taz). We take a break and come back with Skip hammerlocking Bulldog, who breaks out of it rather quickly. A headscissors drops Hart but Skip misses a spinning crossbody.

Jim Cornette pops up in a split screen to rant about Mason stealing his team (which he did last night with a sneaky contract). After those promises of revenge, Zip hits a gutwrench powerbomb and a rocket launcher gets two on Hart. That doesn’t seem to do much as Hart is right back with a Sharpshooter to make Skip give up at 7:52.

Rating: C. As usual, the match was somewhat ignored to talk about something else. That’s not a good way to go, but at least in this case it was related to what was going on. Cornette vs. Mason is hardly thrilling stuff, though it’s not like the WWF has much else to brag about at the moment. Hart and Bulldog feel like good champions though, and that is something the division could always use.

We look at some stills of Mankind vs. Shawn Michaels, with Undertaker popping out of the coffin in a great moment.

Undertaker is back but promises that the scar of betrayal will never go away. Last night, Mankind and Paul Bearer saw what he will do and now he will bury Mankind alive. At Buried Alive.

Dok Hendrix is thrown out of Razor Ramon and Diesel’s dressing room, with Jim Ross saying that is HIS interview.

The Stalker vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Steve Austin is on commentary and rants about Bret Hart. Stalker starts in on the arm and grabs a hammerlock slam. Helmsley gets in a kick to the ribs and sends him outside as Mr. Perfect comes out to watch. Stalker manages a belly to back suplex and we take a fairly early break.

We come back with Helmsley hammering away in the corner and grabbing a chinlock. Stalker gets up and hits a hard clothesline, followed by a slightly delayed suplex. Perfect manages to steal Helmsley’s valet (again) and the distraction lets Stalker hit the superplex for the pin at 11:18.

Rating: C-. Yeah Stalker isn’t exactly working, and what else were they expecting? Barry Windham can wrestle with anyone, but he’s in some weird hunter deal and it’s not working in the slightest. Again: just let him be himself and see if he can get over. It’s better than this dead end gimmick that isn’t helping him whatsoever.

Jim Ross is in the ring for the Razor Ramon/Diesel return but we cut to Mankind and Paul Bearer in the graveyard, saying they’re in for the Buried Alive match. They don’t see it going well for Undertaker.

Back in the ring and….hold on as we need to take a break.

Post break, Ross goes on a rant about how he has no loyalty to this company because he is only loyal to himself. Toss left a job with the NFL’s Atlanta Falcons but came here and he was given a toga to wear at Wrestlemania IX. Then he carried the 1993 King Of The Ring but he was taken off television.

He came down with a condition of Bell’s Palsy and Vince McMahon fired him. Ross wasn’t sure how to tell his family about it, but then they called him back to work in the front office for fifty cents on the dollar. He’s been in charge of bring in various wrestlers and that’s what he’s going to do now, with Razor Ramon.

We go to a wide shot and you can already tell that it’s not Hall (which granted is what they said last week) but rather independent name Rick Bognar, who looks a bit like Ramon, but more like someone doing a Ramon impression. The fans boo and commentary asks if Ross is trying to embarrass the WWF (no, as that would be whomever booked this). Savio Vega runs in to take out Ramon to end the show.

There is so much wrong with this, I don’t know where to start. First of all, it’s dumb. Like, incredibly dumb. The point here is that Ross was mad about being fired and disrespected so he’s apparently trying to embarrass the company by bringing in a pair of “lookalikes” to annoy the fans. As dumb as that is, it doesn’t quite work when he just revealed/reminded us that Vince McMahon owns the company, but he still allowed this on his show. How is it embarrassing if it was allowed?

On top of that (maybe) is the fact that it’s not interesting. As has been the case for years, fans don’t seem overly impressed by storylines involving announcers. Why should I care that Ross is mad at McMahon for what he did to him a few years ago? Ross is calling Raw and apparently helping with the roster. That’s all I really need to know, because otherwise…well, who cares? In addition to this just being dumb, it’s not a story that I would want to see, which is where it continues to fall apart.

Having Ross out there ranting and raving about behind the scenes stuff was dumb enough, but then to have him do something he knew was bad to embarrass his employers was even dumber. So he’s just been sitting there harboring all of these issues for years and this is his master plan? It’s a terrible story with a worse premise and an all time bad payoff, but I’m sure this will be it and it won’t be something that just keeps going.

Overall Rating: D+. The wrestling itself is ok at best, but then everything falls apart. On top of all that though, you have the Ross story and wow it’s actually worse than I remember. It’s not funny, it’s not interesting and it’s about a bunch of stuff that no one but the people involved are likely to care about. This is what they were putting up against the NWO and it’s no wonder everything was falling apart.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 16, 1996
Location: Wheeling Civic Center, Wheeling, West Virginia
Attendance: 4,903
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last Raw before Mind Games and the big story is of course Mankind challenging Shawn Michaels for the WWF Title. Other than that, Goldust and the Undertaker are having a Final Curtain match, which doesn’t sound overly interesting. Finally there’s the Intercontinental Title tournament, which is only so special in the first place. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at the tournament, with the semifinals tonight. Plus Razor Ramon, Diesel and Bret Hart might be returning.

Opening sequence.

Jake Roberts chases Jerry Lawler off commentary to start really fast.

Jake Roberts vs. The Sultan

This is Sultan’s debut and he has Bob Backlund and Iron Sheik with him. Backlund sits in on commentary and praises Sultan and Sheik but doesn’t want to be bothered tonight. Sultan hammers away in the corner and the threat of a DDT is quickly escaped. Roberts keeps glaring at Lawler though, leaving Lawler to suggest Roberts is drunk. Lawler offers another distraction though and Sultan gets the camel clutch for the win at 3:05.

Rating: D+. The Roberts vs. Lawler feud is pretty horrible to say the least and that’s not just due to the pretty horrible subject matter. At the same time, you have the Sultan, who would have felt dated fifteen years before this, coming in and having a dull match. As usual, it doesn’t help to see someone’s debut lose its focus to another feud, which should tell you what to expect from the Sultan.

Post match Backlund is in a bit of a trance at the sight of the camel clutch.

Owen Hart, Brian Pillman, and now Steve Austin are looking forward to Bret Hart’s return at Mind Games. Jim Ross thinks something is afoot.

Bob Holly/Alex Porteau vs. Smoking Gunns

Non-title and Sunny is here with the Gunns. Billy gets knocked outside to start as Camp Cornette comes out to watch. Bart cuts off Porteau with a raised boot in the corner as commentary, again, talks about everything they can think of outside of the match. Bart knocks Porteau down again but pulls him up at two before handing it back to Billy. Camp Cornette’s distraction lets Porteau get a small package for two and it’s back to Holly to clean house. That’s cut off and the Sidewinder connects but Camp Cornette offers a distraction. Holly rolls Billy up for the fluke pin at 5:47.

Rating: C. This was more about advancing Camp Cornette vs. the Gunns and that’s not a terrible idea. I’m not sure which of the two I’m supposed to cheer for, but Holly and Porteau stealing a fluke win is a good way to give the title feud some more steam. It’s not like Holly and Porteau are going to mean anything, but I’ll take this for a little change of pace.

WWF President Gorilla Monsoon makes it clear that Kevin Nash and Scott Hall will NOT be here next week because they are under contract to another company. That sounds like covering themselves from a potential lawsuit.

Here is Jim Cornette, with Vader, for a public workout before hit match against Jose Lothario. Vader has been coaching him recently so he has wrestler Tony Williams here for an exhibition. Cornette does some basic stuff but Williams keeps reversing them and even works on the leg. That’s enough for Cornette to send Vader after him and Williams gets tied up in the ropes for yelling and slapping. You knew what this was going to be.

Intercontinental Title Tournament Semifinals: Owen Hart vs. Marc Mero

Sable is here with Mero and Pat Patterson (who will be refereeing the finals) is on commentary. Patterson also confirms that Razor Ramon and Diesel will be here next week. Mero starts in on the arm and gets Hart down into an armbar. That works so well that Mero does it again but Hart fights out and hits a spinwheel kick. The chinlock keeps Mero down as Gorilla Monsoon pops in to again say that Jim Ross is wrong and that Kevin Nash and Scott Hall will NOT be here next week. Ross insists that he’s right and that Razor Ramon and Diesel (note the difference) will be here next week.

Hart knocks him down again and we hit another chinlock. This time Mero suplexes his way to freedom but Hart knocks him outside. Ross goes on a rant about how Hart’s wrist is fine and the cast he has been wearing is completely unnecessary as we take a break. We come back with Mero fighting back, including sending Hart outside for a running flip dive. Back up and they collide so Hart takes the cast off to knock Mero silly…for two. Hart argues with the referee, allowing Mero to get in a cast shot of his own for the pin at 9:26.

Rating: C+. The match was what you would have expected from these two and Mero gets a win (albeit a screwy one, with the referee again somehow not seeing the obvious shot), but the commentary brought it back down. This stuff with Ross about Ramon and Diesel is killing the show, as not only is it not that interesting, but Ross’ rants are derailing everything going on. Just shut up about it already and save that nonsense for in between the matches, because otherwise it’s one heck of a distraction.

We look at the recent tour of South Africa. During the tour, Bret Hart wrestled what might have been his final match and he calls Brian Pillman and Owen Hart liars because he has not agreed to be at Mind Games. He isn’t sure about his future in the WWF and he hasn’t made up his mind yet.

Intercontinental Title Tournament Semifinals: Sycho Sid vs. Faarooq

Sunny is here with Faarooq, who actually knocks Sid down to start. A powerslam does it again but Sid is right back up with a knockdown of his own. Faarooq gets a belly to back suplex for two and we go to a split screen to hear Ahmed Johnson swear revenge when he gets back. The chinlock goes on as Jim Ross is STILL going on about Razor Ramon and Diesel being here next week.

Faarooq goes up but dives into a powerslam for two, leaving both of them down. Faarooq misses a sitdown splash to the back and we take a break. We come back with Sid slipping out of the Dominator and hitting a chokeslam. That’s enough for Sunny to get on the apron for a distraction, allowing Faarooq to chair Sid down for two. Sid gets up and chairs Faarooq in the back so hard that he knocks him four feet across the ring (by that I mean there was a REALLY obvious edit and yeah apparently this was filmed twice) for the DQ at 10:29.

Rating: D+. There’s only so much you can get out of these two and that was fairly obvious coming in. Faarooq gets to go on to the finals, where he kind of had to be for the sake of the story, and Sid gets an out without losing before he goes into the main event scene in a few more weeks. Not a good match, but it was all they could have done.

Undertaker swears vengeance on Goldust but it’s just a stop on the way to Mankind and Paul Bearer.

We run down the Mind Games card.

Mankind and Paul Bearer are ready for Shawn Michaels. That will make Mankind the new sexy boy and women will want to rub his ear!

Overall Rating: D+. The tournament stuff is dull enough, but the bigger issue here is this Razor Ramon/Diesel nonsense, as it’s dragging down everything around it. Ross as a heel isn’t something that adds any positives to the show, especially when you already have Lawler as a heel commentator. As bad as it already is though, it’s only going to get worse.

 

 

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Unforgiven 1999
Date: September 26, 1999
Location: Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 15,779
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

After going through a bunch of television with all of the fast matches that rarely have a chance to make an impact, it’s going to be a bit weird to see things getting time. The main event is a Six Pack Challenge with a bunch of main eventers and the British Bulldog fighting for the WWF Title, with Steve Austin as guest referee. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how it all comes to tonight as everyone wanted to avoid being unforgiven.

The referees are still on strike so we have scab referees for the show.

Val Venis vs. Steve Blackman

Venis brings the bag of weapons with him, having recently stolen them. Blackman strikes away to start but Venis kicks him into the corner and gets in some choking. A missed elbow lets Blackman knock him to the floor, with a suplex bringing Venis back in. They’re already back on the floor with Venis being sent into the steps as commentary talks about the main event.

Back in and Blackman whips him hard into the corner and we hit the chinlock. That doesn’t last long as Venis fights up with some elbows. Lawler: “Starting to rise. To the occasion.” JR: “He’s done that for money.” Back up and Blackman’s crossbody is rolled through for two, with referee Steve Lombardi counting at the feet. Venis knocks him down again and hits the Money Shot for the clean pin.

Rating: C. This wasn’t worth much of a watch and I’m not sure why they thought it was a feud that needed to have a pay per view match. The whole deal is that Val isn’t overly serious while Blackman is ultra series and….conflict? Just nothing to see but a long TV match and not exactly interesting.

Post match Venis grabs a kendo stick but Blackman takes it away and knocks him cold. Cue the medics, with Blackman yelling at a female nurse. The male security guard tackles Blackman, who leaves rather quickly.

Big Show says he has a killer instinct and will win the title.

We recap Mark Henry defending the European Title against D’Lo Brown. Henry was overweight and Brown tried to get him in better shape. Henry would rather have women and food though, along with the belt. Now Brown wants revenge and the title as well.

Mark Henry hits on Lilian Garcia and gets slapped in the face.

European Title: Mark Henry vs. D’Lo Brown

Henry is defending….in theory, as he says there isn’t going to be a title match tonight. After sending his two women to start the car, Henry says he has a “brainerism” after that slap. Maybe we can do this tomorrow on Raw, but cue Brown to interrupt. They start brawling on the floor and head inside, where the bell rings to officially get things going.

Brown manages a rather impressive Sky High for two, followed by a legdrop for the same. Henry misses a running charge at the ropes and takes a kind of scary crash out to the floor. The big no hands dive (that looked nice) takes Henry down again and a high crossbody gets two back inside.

A big clothesline drops Brown and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up and Brown comes back with a crossbody before countering another into a slam (I wonder if the first wasn’t as planned.). The big leg gives Henry two but Brown slips through his legs and grabs a hurricanrana for a double knockdown. Back up and Henry hammers away in the corner, only to get powerbombed down. The Low Down gives Brown the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. Oh this wasn’t working and that was very clear. Henry looked awkward and unsure of himself, along with just slow. Brown was doing what he could and was trying but he could only do so much on his own. Bad match, and while Henry is good in segments, the matches aren’t working.

The Acolytes are ready for the Dudley Boyz and just because one of them is white and one of them is Black, that’s where the similarities end. We pause this to see some people beating up Chaz and throwing him out of the locker room. Why was Chaz here if he doesn’t have a match?

Debra isn’t happy with Jeff Jarrett for putting her in the Figure Four but Jarrett doesn’t want to hear it, grabs Miss Kitty and leaves.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Chyna

Jarrett, with Miss Kitty, is defending and is convinced that no woman could ever beat a man. He’s also gone rather nuts and attacked the legs of various women with the Figure Four. Jarrett starts fast but misses a running crotch attack on the ropes. A hard clothesline puts Jarrett down and another one knocks him out to the floor. Jarrett pulls the legs out though and crotches her against the post, with the pain surprising Lawler.

Commentary talks about the women Jarrett has hurt, which has Lawler chuckling, as Jarrett gets two off a high crossbody. A nice dropkick hits Chyna and a superplex into a not great small package gets two. Jarrett hits a DDT onto the arm so he goes up top, only to get electric chaired down. Moolah and Mae Young are worried in the front row as Chyna fights out of a sleeper and grabs a suplex (better than Jarrett’s normal sleeper sequence) to leave them down again.

A powerslam and powerbomb give Jarrett two but he’s back with a powerbomb of his own. They go outside where Chyna hits him with a chair, with Lawler losing his mind over how that isn’t a DQ. Back in and the Pedigree is countered into a catapult to crush referee Harvey Wippleman. The guitar is thrown in….so Moolah and Mae Young run in to beat the fire out of Jarrett, including a double slam.

The crowd goes NUTS, only to be cut off as Jarrett hits a double clothesline. Jarrett loads up the Figure Four but here is Debra with a heck of a guitar shot to knock him cold. Chyna gets the pin and the title….but head scab referee Tom Prichard comes in to reverse the decision.

Rating: C. They were trying here and Jarrett was able to carry Chyna to something watchable enough. It’s pretty clear that the big blowoff is still coming with Jarrett getting what is coming to him, so hopefully they can do a bit better than this one in the rematch. That being said, the highlight here was definitely Moolah and Mae, as they beat the fire out of Jarrett for a bit and made it work. It worked and was hilarious at the same time, which is hard to do.

Post match Chyna Pedigrees Prichard to blow off some steam.

Steve Austin promises a new WWF Champion tonight.

Acolytes vs. Dudley Boyz

It’s a brawl to start as Jimmy Korderas has crossed the picket line so we have a regular referee. D-Von gets knocked down on the floor, leaving Bubba to get caught with a double flapjack. A superplex gives Bradshaw two as Lawler makes a bunch of jokes about Moolah and Mae Young. Bubba is knocked outside and whipped hard into the steps but he’s back in with a belly to belly.

It’s back to D-Von for a running neckbreaker but the fall away slam sends him flying. Faarooq can’t hit the Dominator so it’s back to Bradshaw, who gets caught in the reverse 3D for another near fall. D-Von hits his top rope headbutt, only for Bradshaw to pop up and catch him on top with a belly to back superplex (and a nice one at that). A quick 3D connects…but Stevie Richards comes in dressed as an Acolyte (with the UPN logo on his chest) to superkick D-Von for the pin.

Rating: C+. Not a bad power tag match as the Acolytes could still go well enough. I’m not sure about beating the hot new team in the Dudleys but at least there was some interference. The Dudleys are still trying to find their groove around here, but the 3D is such an awesome finisher that they’re already off to a good start.

Post match the Acolytes beat Richards down.

Women’s Title: Luna vs. Ivory

Ivory is defending in a Hardcore match and they start fighting in the back. Luna throws a TV at Ivory, makes photocopies of her face, and throws a phone at her before sending her into some walls. Ivory is back with a toss into a trashcan for…well no count as her shoulders aren’t down, but if falls count anywhere, shouldn’t they count in a place with her shoulders not down?

I guess a fall has to include shoulders down to be counted as a fall, but the technical aspect is broken up by Luna splashing her off a forklift for two. Cue Tori to take a swing at Ivory but she gets knocked into an anvil case. Ivory hits Luna with a pole for the pin to retain. Tori added nothing here.

Rating: C-. Well, Ivory gets to retain and Tori was kind of there as well, but this was little more than a segment described as a match. They were doing the usual hardcore stuff but backstage, which doesn’t leave them with much to do. Rather dull again, which is rapidly becoming the norm with these hardcore based match.

Moolah and Mae Young want Jeff Jarrett to stay out of their business but Ivory runs in to say stay out of her business. That earns Ivory another beating.

Tag Team Titles: Edge and Christian vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws are defending. Gunn powers Edge into the corner to start but Edge is back out with a takedown into a headlock. Dogg comes in for a headlock of his own but Christian comes in off a blind tag for a dropkick. That doesn’t last long as it’s Gunn coming in for some ax handles to the back, plus a gorilla press onto Dogg’s knee for a near fall. Christian gets up and hands it back to Edge, who gets punched in the face a few times.

The slow pace continues with Dogg being knocked outside and sent into the steps to put the Canadians in control for the first time. The chinlock goes on before Dogg and Christian hit stereo crossbodies. Dogg still can’t get over to Gunn so we’ll go with some stomping in the corner instead. A side slam/layout reverse DDT combination gives Christian two as JR is getting into Edge and Christian’s rapid tagging.

Dogg finally manages a double DDT and everyone but Gunn is down. The diving tag brings Gunn in to clean house with a powerslam getting two on Christian. The reverse layout DDT gets Christian out o trouble but cue Gangrel and Matt Hardy to pull Christian to the floor. Jeff Hardy adds a dropkick to Edge and the Fameasser retains the titles.

Rating: B. I wouldn’t have expected this to be the match of the night so far but they pulled it off here. The Outlaws weren’t known as being the most polished team ever but they worked really well together and that was on display here. The same was true of Edge and Christian, who were pretty clearly wanting to work hard in a big spot, which was pretty much the norm for them.

HHH and British Bulldog won’t say if they’re together or not but they’ll do what it takes to win tonight.

Big Boss Man doesn’t regret anything he’s done to Al Snow because he’s used to dealing with people inside a cage, dogs or not.

The Cell is lowered and the cage is built.

Al Snow is going to beat up the Big Boss Man for Pepper’s memory.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Big Boss Man

Snow is defending and this is the Kennel From Hell match, meaning there’s a regular cage and the Cell around it, with rottweilers in between the two cages. It’s the old story: Boss Man wanted to be Hardcore Champion and cooked Snow’s dog and fed it to him as a result. There are no dogs to start (uh oh) and only Snow is in the cage. That leaves Boss Man between the cage and the Cell as the dogs come out.

We’re nearly two minutes in as the dogs are finally brought inside, where one of them immediately relieves himself. Boss Man climbs the cage but Snow hits it with a shovel to avoid getting inside. The dogs start arguing with each other as Snow drops to the floor, where he climbs the Cell despite the dogs not chasing him.

Snow manages to get onto the regular cage wall but Boss Man catches him on top for a superplex inside, meaning they’re both inside the ring for the first time about three and a half minutes in. The dogs keep barking at each other as Boss Man sends Snow into the cage. The slow beating continues, with Boss Man hitting him in the head with a cookie sheet a few times.

With Snow down (and bleeding), Boss Man grabs a pair of pliers to try and cut open the top. The dogs have at least stopped barking as Boss man has ripped open part of the Cell’s roof. A low blow brings Boss Man back down but he drops Snow with a shot to the face. It’s time for powder, which is knocked into the Boss Man’s eyes, as the dogs have been forgotten or the time being. Snow hits him in the head to bust Boss Man open as well and there’s a shovel shot to his back.

The dogs are looking at each other as Snow starts to unhook a turnbuckle. Snow can’t get one of the dogs to bite Boss Man’s arm so Boss Man hits Snow in the head with a nasty shovel shot (JR: “OH MAN! Ok that’ll be enough.”). Boss Man cuffs Snow to the turnbuckle as JR explains that you have to escape to win.

If that was mentioned before, it wasn’t exactly emphasized. Snow breaks the cuffs to escape and catches Boss Man trying to go through the ceiling. The dogs have been a complete non-factor and barely seen for about seven minutes now so Snow hits Boss Man with Head. Snow goes outside, climbs the Cell, and kicks the door open to retain as Boss Man gets out through the roof.

Rating: F. What in the world is there to say here? There are bad matches where you can see some kind of an idea that might have worked if something went well, but that was in no way shape or form the case here. I have no idea how this got green lit to be on the show, but it wasn’t exactly wrestling, it wasn’t exactly a hardcore match, it wasn’t exactly a cage match and it wasn’t exactly a Cell match.

The dogs were a total non factor and that isn’t a surprise as they aren’t likely trained television performers, so there was only so much they could do. This is just such a chase of wondering how no one stopped this in the setup process, as multiple people were apparently convinced this was a good idea. Absolutely all time awful match (a word I use loosely), but above all else I’m more interested in how we got here, because it should never have happened.

Mankind is going into the main event but is ready to take out the Rock if necessary.

Chris Jericho vs. X-Pac

This was added on Heat (as Ken Shamrock is gone) and Curtis Hughes is here with Jericho. The cage is still being taken down as Jericho makes his entrance so we get a lot of vamping. Before the match, Jericho says he’s here to save Charlotte and this boring, brutal pay per view by giving everyone what they really wanted to see: him! We actually get to the match and they go technical to start with neither getting very far.

Back up and X-Pac scores with some kicks so Jericho fires off the chops. The big kick misses for X-Pac and Jericho drops him with a clothesline. A missed charge lets X-Pac kick him down in the corner but X-Pac has to put the brakes on with the Bronco Buster. Jericho is knocked outside, where X-Pac’s big dive mostly hits the floor for the nasty crash. Back in and Jericho hits a nice missile dropkick, setting up the double arm crank.

That’s broken up so Jericho goes with a backbreaker to put him down again. The fans get distracted by something in the crowd as Jericho hits a slingshot splash for two (that one didn’t stick) and we hit the chinlock as the crowd calms down. Jericho hits the Lionsault and hammers away as the fans are STILL distracted (Geez how drunk was that fan?). The triangle dropkick sends X-Pac outside where Hughes gets in a cheap shot, as any good bodyguard should.

Back in and one heck of a spinwheel kick gives X-Pac a breather, allowing him to dive onto Hughes. Jericho gets dropped for two but manages a low blow to cut off the Bronco Buster. They go up top with X-Pac hitting a superplex for two, only to get caught with the double powerbomb for a rather delayed two. Jericho goes up but gets pulled down but this time X-Pac ties him in the Tree Of Woe for the Bronco Buster. That’s enough for Jericho as he decks the referee for the DQ.

Rating: B-. For a thrown together match, this could have been much worse, with the crowd distraction causing a big problem. They were able to stall long enough to avoid things getting out of hand and that’s a sign of people who know what they’re doing. I can get why X-Pac didn’t lose clean here, though Jericho absolutely feels like one of the hottest things in the company and a win would have suited everything a bit better.

Post match the double beating is on but Road Dogg runs in for the save.

We recap the Six Pack Challenge and here’s the short version: Mankind wins title, HHH wins title, everyone hates HHH, Vince wins title, Vince vacates title, HHH runs gimmick gauntlet, multiple gimmicks wasted in one night, six people fight for the title, British Bulldog doesn’t belong here.

WWF Title: HHH vs. Kane vs. Big Show vs. Mankind vs. The Rock vs. British Bulldog

For the vacant title, one fall to a finish, Kane has the awesome inverted gear, HHH is here with Chyna, and Steve Austin is the outside referee. Austin actually sits in on commentary and thankfully we have tags, meaning Rock and Bulldog start things off. Rock hammers him down into the corner but Bulldog gets in a quick shot, allowing HHH to come in and beat Rock down on the ropes.

A hot shot gets Rock out of trouble for two and it’s off to Kane, who misses an elbow as commentary argues over whether Jimmy Korderas is a scab referee. Show shoves Kane off the top as Austin says he doesn’t quite understand the concept here, despite it not being that complicated. Kane comes back in to drop Mankind with a clothesline but Mankind hits some running kicks, allowing Austin to make some dropkick jokes.

It’s back to Show, who gets enziguried out to the floor but he’s back in to superkick Kane. The rapid fire changes continue as Bulldog hits Rock low, which Austin says he can appreciate. The non-delayed suplex puts Rock down and it’s off to Mankind, who immediately tags out to Kane. Mankind comes right back in for a Texas piledriver to Kane for two but HHH comes in. That’s fine with Mankind, who sends him out into the steps and everything breaks down, with all six brawling up the aisle.

Mankind hits another Texas piledriver and sends HHH into the steps but Bulldog is right on him back inside. Kane beats on Rock on the floor as we settle down to Mankind stomping Bulldog in the corner. Mankind tags Rock in, with both JR and Austin not getting the thinking. Show comes in to kick Kane down and here are the rest of the referees to yell at Jimmy Korderas.

It’s back to Mankind as Austin has to get the other two commentators back on the match. The big elbow gives Show two, with Rock making the save. HHH and Rock fight to the floor with Rock stealing Austin’s beer for a drink. Back in and Kane Tombstones Mankind but Show tags himself in, only to get hit with the top rope clothesline. Bulldog powerslams Kane but gets Pedigreed for his efforts. Rock takes out HHH but gets DDTed by Mankind, setting up the Mandible Claw (Austin: “I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT!”).

The Mandible Claw is reversed into the Rock Bottom for two with HHH making the save this time. Show comes in to clean house and hits the chokeslam on Mankind but the other referees pull Korderas out and beat him up for crossing the picket lines. Austin beats up the referees and comes back in to count Rock’s two on HHH, with the fans going nuts. The Rock Bottom hits HHH but Show pulls Austin out. Back in and Bulldog chairs Rock into the Pedigree before Austin chairs Bulldog. Austin has to count the pin to make HHH the champion.

Rating: B. It was a fun match and the referee thing (as unnecessary as it was) did tie into the ending, with Austin already being set up as the first challenger, but there was just so much going on here. That’s a problem with just about everything going on in the company at the moment and the main event was no exception. Thank goodness for the tags here as it could have been even worse. Things also took their time to get going, but the ending was rather good with all of the big stars going nuts until the finish. Just calm down a bit more and let some things breathe.

Post match HHH yells at Austin, who lays him out with a Stunner to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The main event and the Tag Team Title match are good, but they’re not enough to carry a weak undercard and an all time mess of a Kennel match. The problem with having so many of the big stars in one match was clear here, as it didn’t leave much else for everyone to do. There are worse shows out there, but this was not a good one and is absolutely not worth a look, even with a few nice matches.

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 20, 1999
Location: Compaq Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 11,879
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Vince McMahon is the WWF Champion. What else is there to say in a situation like this? McMahon won the title from HHH in little more than a fluke after interference from Steve Austin and that means things are going to get even wackier around here. We’re also six days away from Unforgiven so we’ll have to see where things go. Let’s get to it.

Here is Smackdown if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of HHH challenging Vince McMahon to a WWF Title match on Smackdown and somehow managing to lose the title, albeit thanks to Steve Austin.

Opening sequence.

JR calls this an action adventure series. Good grief Vince stop overthinking things.

Here is Vince McMahon, who opens his jacket to reveal the title in a great shot. Vince says anything can happen in the World Wrestling Federation and the grin is amazing. The thing is, due to a previous agreement, he can’t have anything to do with day to day business. Therefore, the title is officially vacant and the winner of the Six Pack Challenge at Unforgiven will be the new champion.

Cue Steve Austin to interrupt, saying that while they can’t stand each other, the place hasn’t been the same without him. Austin gets to the point though: if Vince isn’t in the match at Unforgiven, there are five people in a Six Pack and Austin doesn’t like an incomplete Six Pack. He wants Vince to put him in the match but that would be doing business so Vince isn’t allowed.

Cue HHH and Chyna, again with security, to interrupt. HHH is livid and wants the title shot too….but Austin says there are 16,000 (not quite) people calling him an a******. HHH threatens Vince, only to have Shane McMahon come out and say no one in his family is getting hurt. Tonight, we’ll do Vince/Shane vs. HHH/Chyna, which surprises Vince.

Shane leaves and Vince recaps the “I can’t do business” thing, but Austin says that the fine print (HELLO RUSSO!) says Austin and Austin alone can reinstate him. He’ll do it for a title shot, which works for Vince….but Austin will face the winner rather than being in the Six Pack Challenge. HHH is in the match, because it means more people can beat him up.

HHH says screw Vince, but Vince says screw HHH, because Austin is going to be the guest enforcer. They were rushing through stuff here and the “you didn’t read the fine print” stuff is always horrible. Otherwise, Vince dropping the belt is fine as there was no reason to keep the title on him for any length of time.

Rock meets a security guard named Louise and sings her some Elvis as a birthday present. And gives her money.

Mankind is in the boiler room and gets in a fight with Mideon, who appears to just be browsing. Viscera comes in to help beat Mankind out through the door, where Big Show helps beat him up as we take a break. During the break, the Rock made the save.

Video on Ken Shamrock vs. Chris Jericho.

The referees are still on strike.

Chris Jericho vs. Billy Gunn

Curtis Hughes is here too. Jericho’s shoulder runs Gunn over to start (that’s a surprise) but Gunn is back up with a suplex. They head outside where Gunn goes after Hughes, allowing Jericho to come back with a triangle dropkick. The floor pads are peeled back but Gunn suplexes him onto…well onto the pads actually. Hughes gets in a cheap shot but Gunn is fine enough to grab a powerslam for two back inside. The Jackhammer connects, only for Jericho to grab replacement referee Tom Prichard. That lets Hughes DDT Gunn onto the concrete, so the Walls can finish the out cold Gunn.

Rating: C+. Yeah you had interference and such, but this was as close as you’re going to get to a clean match around here. Jericho gets a win over someone with some status, but it also makes Hughes look like that much more of a threat. Hughes looked like a goof in his first appearances, so having him actually help Jericho is a good move.

Mankind tells Michael Cole to know his mouth and shut his role (yep) because he wants Big Show and Undertaker to defend the Tag Team Titles against himself and the Rock. Cue the Rock to complain about a broken watch, even though he wasn’t here to do anything but sing Happy Birthday to….that old woman whose name he can’t remember.

After putting a Rock shirt over Cole’s head (Rock didn’t like how he was looking at him), Rock goes on about Undertaker not liking his trash talk. Rock even talks trash in his sleep (and he demonstrates) and the challenge is on. Mankind keeps the shirt and insists that everything between himself and Rock is platonic.

Undertaker tells Rock to find his writers to come up with an apology for him because he’s in trouble. The title match is on, under Darkside Rules, whatever that means.

Here is Ivory, who says it’s time to party. She’s sick of all the vermin and insects in this time (JR: “I haven’t seen any rats!”) but will defend the title against any sick creature on the roster, like Luna Vachon! For now though, she issues a challenge to anyone in the crowd and here’s a woman to accept. And of course it’s Luna.

Luna vs. Ivory

Non-title and Luna gives her a slam into a DDT for the pin in short order.

D’Lo Brown says he was just trying to look out for his friend when he tried to get Mark Henry in better shape. He’s ready to beat Henry up at Unforgiven, but Henry chairs him in the back.

The McMahons talk strategy.

Post break, D’Lo Brown jumps in a car and drives off, presumably after Mark Henry.

Test, with Stephanie McMahon, is ready for a street fight against Jeff Jarrett. Cue Jarrett, who says he wants a mixed tag instead, with Stephanie and Debra as partners. Stephanie accepts and even Test knows this is a really bad idea.

Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

Gangrel is here with the Hardys and the Acolytes are on commentary. Bradshaw gives the Acolytes’ three demandments: don’t drink our beer, don’t mess with our rats and don’t cut a promo on us! Stevie Richards walks down, dressed as a Dudley Boy, as Faarooq mocks Bubba Ray’s stutter. Richards’ distraction doesn’t work but he gets in a brawl with Gangrel, allowing Matt to get two off a neckbreaker. Instead it’s a suplex into the Swanton for two on D-Von, only for Bubba to powerbomb Jeff on the floor. Matt misses a moonsault and the 3D finishes him off.

Post match the Acolytes are in to brawl with the Dudleyz, with Richards and Gangrel still fighting. There was WAY too much going on in this whole thing, but Bradshaw going unhinged was funny.

Jeff Jarrett puts the makeup woman in the Figure Four.

Jeff Jarrett/Debra vs. Test/Stephanie McMahon

Test slams him down to start but Jarrett is back up with a shot to the face. Debra won’t tag in so Test hits the pumphandle powerslam. The top rope elbow connects and Stephanie pins Jarrett in less than two minutes. Remember that Jarrett is the reigning Intercontinental Champion with a pay per view title defense, not against Test, in six days.

Post match Jarrett yells at Debra and puts her in the Figure Four.

Rock isn’t listening to anything Mankind says. Mankind: “ROODY POO!”

Undertaker is talking to Kane.

Tag Team Titles: Mankind/The Rock vs. Big Show/Undertaker

Undertaker and Big Show are defending in Darkside Rules which means….no idea yet, but Rock thinks it means Mideon and Viscera will get involved. Rock didn’t like Undertaker suggesting that Rock has writers, so he wrote his own little rhyme about sending Undertaker to the Smackdown Hotel. Undertaker sits in on commentary and still won’t explain the rules, but here are Mideon and Viscera, just like the Rock predicted.

Apparently this is now a handicap match (with Rock and Show in street clothes) as Mideon and Mankind start things off. Mankind hits a running knee in the corner but Show takes him outside for a rather hard toss. It’s quickly off to Rock for the Rock Bottom on Viscera with Mideon having to make the save (Undertaker: “That’s harmony.” Harmony?). Cue Kane, whose top rope clothesline hits Big Show, apparently on purpose. Kane knocks Show to the floor and leaves, with Undertaker swearing Vengeance. The Mandible Claw, Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow finish Mideon to give Rock and Mankind the titles.

Rating: C-. Sure why not. That’s the reaction to a lot of these things, but Rock and Mankind were able to make almost anything work. It’s becoming more and more obvious that Undertaker is injured and unable to wrestle at the moment, so this was about the only way to get the titles off of he and Show. Not much of a match of course because that’s not the point, but a coherent ten minute match would be nice for a change.

Marianna, looking roughed up, says she made a mistake with Shawn Stasiak but doesn’t deserve this. Chaz comes up and gets taken away by cops. So not only are they doing a domestic abuse angle, but Chaz was wearing Scooby Doo boxers.

Undertaker sends his minions after Kane.

Steve Blackman vs. Shawn Stasiak

Val Venis comes out with Blackman’s bag of weapons and joins commentary as Stasiak kicks away in the corner. Venis makes references about Blackman being, uh, small in certain areas as JR hears a buzzing noise. They trade kicks as commentary keeps going on about the buzzing. Blackman grabs the bag and finds…a vibrator. Stasiak gets a rollup for the fast pin. Keep in mind that we went from a domestic abuse angle to this in the span of five minutes.

Here is Undertaker to call Kane a weak coward and it ends tonight. Cue Kane, but here are Mideon, Viscera and Big Show to beat him down. Kane is covered in gasoline but Show can’t get the lighter to work, allowing Mankind and Rock to make the save with baseball bats.

Earlier today, Al Snow had a funeral for Pepper, with the rottweilers standing guard. Snow swears vengeance….and then we cut to a still from GTV of Big Boss Man relieving himself on the grave.

Hardcore Holly vs. Big Boss Man

Hardcore match with Crash Holly in Hardcore’s corner. After Hardcore makes a reference to Boss Man being, uh, soft in a certain personal area, they fight to the floor to start. Boss Man hits him with a chair but Hardcore breaks a pitcher over Boss Man’s head. Cue Al Snow on screen to show the rottweilers attacking a dummy. Boss Man handcuffs Hardcore to the rope but Crash gets in a shot with a wrench for the pin (with Hardcore still cuffed).

Mark Henry is at a strip club when D’Lo Brown attacks. The dancers were totally fine with a full camera crew filming them on national TV.

Jeff Jarrett jumps Chyna again but HHH and security break it up.

HHH/Chyna vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon

Before the match, HHH promises to win the WWF Title back and neither Vince nor Austin can do anything about it. Hold on though as there’s no Vince, as there is a forklift blocking his dressing room door. We have a substitute though.

HHH/Chyna vs. Test/Shane McMahon

It’s a brawl to start with Shane spearing Chyna and then doing the same to HHH before all four fight outside. Back in and Shane gets crotched on the buckle as something resembling a tag match breaks out. HHH stomps away and hits the facebuster for two before Chyna grabs the chinlock.

That’s broken up and Shane brings in Test to hammer on HHH In the corner. What looks to be a superplex is broken up but Shane is back in with the Bronco Buster. Cue Jeff Jarrett to draw Chyna to the back, leaving HHH to block Test’s top rope elbow. Another low blow puts Shane down again so HHH decks the referee. Back to back Pedigrees leave Shane and Test laying so HHH wears them out with a chair, which is enough for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was thee closest thing to a match that I’ve seen around here in a few months so it could have been worse. HHH going out there to wreck people is acceptable in this case as Test had already wrestled (barely, but he did wrestle) and Shane isn’t a full time wrestler, meaning it was logical enough. Not much of a match and too much going on, but that’s how things work around here.

Post match HHH goes to leave but Vince McMahon pops up to hit him with a chair to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. As has been the case forever with Russo, the problem comes down to “slow down already”. There is just so much going on and it hurts the good things that are taking place. It’s easy enough to keep track of stuff, but having Chaz beating up his ex-girlfriend (or at last implying it) and then the stuff with Venis and Blackman comes so far out of left field and brings things down. They really need to cut out the terrible parts to boost this up, because even Austin and company can only do so much with nonsense like “here’s the fine print”.

 

 

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