Monday Night Raw
Date: January 7, 2008
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the first Raw of the new year and we’re starting big with Raw Roulette. The show will basically be a bunch of Spin The Wheel Make The Deal matches and that should make for some interesting options. I say should because it probably won’t, but at least they’re doing something. Oh and there will be a lot about Ric Flair, because we need to do that as often as possible. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event with William Regal costing HHH a spot in the Royal Rumble, but Ric Flair’s career was saved again.

William Regal is in Vince McMahon’s office and tells him that the fans are expecting something big from Raw Roulette on the first Raw of the year. Vince goes over some of the options and you can hear the salesman in him, which is where he tends to shine. As for HHH, Vince wants to see him injured so Regal can face him tonight. We spin the wheel and it’s…..First Blood. Regal seems to approve and leaves, only to get jumped by an angry HHH.

Opening sequence.

Here are Shawn Michaels and Mr. Kennedy and the wheel gives them….a Strange Bedfellows match, meaning they’re going to be partners!

Shawn Michaels/Mr. Kennedy vs. Charlie Haas/Trevor Murdoch

We’re joined in progress with Kennedy dropping Haas for two but Shawn tags himself in and throws Kennedy outside. Then Haas goes to the floor as well, puts on a superhero mask, declares IT’S TIME, and gets slingshotted back inside. Murdoch gets in a cheap shot from the apron though and a clothesline gives him two.

Haas comes back in but gets dropped, only to have Kennedy bail to the floor to avoid a tag. Shawn doesn’t seem to mind and rips Haas’ mask off before starting the comeback. Sweet Chin Music knocks Murdoch off the apron but Kennedy tags himself in, just before Shawn superkicks Haas as well. The Mic Check drops Shawn and Kennedy pins Haas.

Rating: C. Haas and Murdoch were little more than props here and that isn’t the worst idea. What mattered here was keeping Michaels vs. Kennedy going and it wouldn’t surprise me to see them have their big blowoff at the Rumble. The wrestling wasn’t the point here and in this case that’s ok.

Carlito vs. Hardcore Holly

Trading Places match, meaning they’re dressed as each other, but we don’t even get to see the spin of the wheel, which is the best part of the show. Santino Marella and Cody Rhodes are here too, but hang on as Holly has trouble with his big afro. It doesn’t stay on long but Carlito uses the distraction to stomp away and take over. Carlito hits a chop in the corner but Holly shows him how it’s really done to start the comeback. There’s the dropkick so Santino offers a distraction. Since it’s Santino, that doesn’t exactly go well as Holly intercepts the apple and spits it in Carlito’s face. The Alabama Slam finishes for Holly.

Rating: C-. This was mainly there for the visual gag of Holly in a wig so there was no need to have the match get any kind of time. There isn’t much to the tag division at the moment but would Carlito/Marella be huge underdogs against Holly and Rhodes? Carlito in a blond wig was a bit confusing as he did look like Holly, so they got half of the visual quite right.

Maria spins the wheel for her match and it lands on submission match, but Vince McMahon changes it to a lingerie pillow fight. For some reason, Vince feels the need to explain the concept. This results in Maria making a joke about having natural pillows.

Video on Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy, including Orton kicking an injured Matt Hardy last week.

Jeff Hardy promises to take Randy Orton out.

Vince McMahon has Hornswoggle spin the wheel and gives him a talk about….I have no idea as the audio is all screwed up, with JR apologizing for the issues.

Post break we see a repaired version of the video, which saw Vince put Hornswoggle in the Royal Rumble, but first he has to qualify. It’s a Mr. McMahon’s Choice match, so we’ll have a tag match with Hornswoggle getting to pick his partner, with the winning team qualifying. Finlay isn’t here, but Hornswoggle seems confident.

Maria vs. Jillian Hall vs. Mickie James vs. Melina

Lingerie pillow fight, meaning there is a bed with a bunch of pillows on it provided. Lawler: “Why do all of these Divas have all of this great looking lingerie with them every week?” Hold on though as we have a surprise bonus.

Maria vs. Jillian Hall vs. Mickie James vs. Melina vs. Ashley

Jillian and Melina try to hide under the bedspread and get beaten up with the pillows. Maria gives Jillian a Bronco Buster and Mickie tries to powerbomb Melina onto the bed. We get some “vicious” pillow attacks and Jillian is tossed into Melina. Ashley drops an elbow for the pin.

Rating: D-. It’s a good example of a match where the concept is obvious but it’s just so dumb that the charm was lost. Everyone is just oh so happy to be out there with their friends and it comes off as so stupid. There is enough talent in there to get over without this stuff and it’s annoying to have to see.

Super Crazy turns down Hornswoggle’s offer to team up but Hornswoggle sees someone else off camera who gets his attention.

HHH vs. William Regal

First blood. HHH wastes no time in taking the brawl to the floor but misses a toss with the steps. Regal posts him head first and they head back inside where a turnbuckle pad is taken off. Right hands and a knee drop stay on the face but HHH is back with a facebuster. A kick to the head drops HHH again and the fans are all over Regal. The brass knuckles shot is broken up with a spinebuster, allowing HHH to unload with right hands to bust Regal open for the win.

Rating: C. This was short and to the point but mainly just made me want to see these two have a regular match. You can’t do much in a five minute First Blood match but HHH pounding on Regal’s face until it was busted open was quite the visual. Regal is a good lackey who can fight and he wasn’t squashed here, but a First Blood match needs more time than this.

Post match HHH hits a Pedigree.

Video on Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton.

Santino Marella turns Hornswoggle down too because he doesn’t want Vince mad at him and small people freak him out. Hornswoggle is dejected.

We recap JBL vs. Chris Jericho, which stems from Jericho being annoyed at getting bumped into. Then they yelled at and punched each other a lot.

Chris Jericho comes to the ring and finds out that he is in a handicap match.

Chris Jericho vs. Snitsky/John Bradshaw Layfield

Snitsky hammers away in the corner to start but gets caught with the running forearm. Some stomping has Jericho in more trouble but he’s back up with the triangle dropkick to the floor. The brawl with JBL is on outside, at least until JBL hits him with the bell for the fast DQ.

Post match the beatdown continues, with JBL pounding away and choking with a microphone cable. JBL even drags him up the aisle by the cord to make things extra violent.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Highlanders vs. Hornswoggle/BH Jordan

Jordan is a rather skinny guy but hang on as someone comes out to take his place.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Highlanders vs. Hornswoggle/Mick Foley

Foley hammers away at Robbie to start and it’s off to Hornswoggle for a running kick to the face. Rory comes in for a faceplant but a slide through the legs allows the tag off to Foley. The Highlanders actually take him into the corner to start up the double teaming. Foley fights him off like he’s Mick Foley beating up the Highlanders, including the Mandible Sock to Rory and a double arm DDT to Robbie. Hornswoggle comes in with the tadpole splash for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing wrong with Foley coming in to save Hornswoggle from a low level team. Foley in the Rumble in the Garden will be nice and Hornswoggle has been featured far too much lately to not be around in some way. They kept it quick here and the fans were into Foley so it went well enough. That being said, egads the Highlanders fell fast, despite not even being that high up in the first place.

The cage is lowered, as the stipulation was already set.

Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga

Non-title in a cage and Randy Orton is watching from ringside. Umaga runs him over to start but misses a sitdown splash. A jawbreaker staggers Umaga and he misses a charge into the cage in the corner. Back up and Umaga launches him into the cage but Hardy hangs on in an impressive counter. It’s too early to go over the top though as Umaga pulls him back down for a crash as we take a break.

We come back with Umaga working on a nerve hold for a good while. A backdrop into the cage rocks Hardy again and Umaga splashes him up against the cage for a bonus. Hardy manages a few right hands so Orton throws in a bunch of chairs to give Umaga weaponry. A chair to the back has Hardy in trouble but he’s fine enough to crotch a climbing Umaga on top. Springboard Poetry In Motion drives Umaga into the corner but the Twist of Fate is easily blocked.

The running hip attack misses though and Hardy LAUNCHES a chair at Umaga’s head to stagger him again. A DDT onto a chair gives Hardy two but Orton slams the door on his head to cut off the escape. The Samoan Spike is blocked though and now the Twist of Fate connects. Hardy goes up, sees Orton waiting on him below, and dives off the cage with a Whisper In The Wind to knock Umaga silly for the pin.

Rating: B. That’s almost all for the finish as otherwise it was a run of the mill cage match with some good spots. What mattered here was Hardy coming off like a superhero with that Whisper in the Wind and Orton looking scared of what is waiting on him at the Rumble. I remember watching this live and being completely sold on Hardy beating Orton. It had me needing to see the title match because I knew Hardy could win. That’s a nice feeling to have and it worked to perfection here.

Overall Rating: C. The main event is more than enough to carry the show, but the Raw Roulette stuff was only so good. They didn’t even show some of the spins and the matches didn’t exactly blow anyone away. What matters here is Hardy, as Orton is starting to realize he could be in trouble and that feels different for him. I liked parts of the show, but the Rumble itself needs some more build. More on that next week, but for now, it’s all about Hardy and that’s really cool to see.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 31, 2007
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re wrapping up the year with this one as Raw is back to a regular show after last week’s Tribute To The Troops. There is a big main event set up for this week as Ric Flair is defending his career against HHH in one of his most famous locations. That’s quite the way to finish off the year so let’s get to it.

We open with a video on Randy Orton, who is officially the Greatest Raw Superstar Of 2007.

Here is Orton in the ring to get things going. Orton says the letters RKO define this year and promises to be even more ruthless next year. Either way, he will be WWE champion, but here is Jeff Hardy to interrupt. Hardy says Orton had a great year but right now, he doesn’t have momentum. We see a clip of Hardy pinning Orton last week, which Hardy says he can do it. Orton says ask Chris Jericho, Shawn Michaels and John Cena about momentum and threatens Hardy. An RKO attempt is countered into a Twist of Fate and Hardy gets to pose as the build continues to grow.

Video on Ric Flair’s dilemma, as he has to retire the next time he wins a match, as per Vince McMahon’s orders. For a bonus, Vince is making Flair face his friend HHH tonight.

Matt Hardy is here to see Jeff Hardy and thinks the Royal Rumble could be Jeff’s night. In addition, Matt might be back at the Rumble and if Jeff wins that night, how about Matt gets the first title shot? Jeff could go for that, but Matt shouldn’t expect to win.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Shawn Michaels

They start fast with Kennedy taking him to the mat but Shawn is back up for a standoff. Some armdrags set up an armbar on Kennedy before Shawn drives him knee first into the mat. The half crab goes on for a bit until Kennedy gets up and spears him through the ropes. Shawn barely beats the count back in and we take a break.

Back with Kennedy working on the leg for a change and kicking him in the face for two. Shawn gets tied in the Tree of Woe for some boot choking, followed by a superplex for two more. The seated abdominal stretch doesn’t last long as Shawn fights up and hits the flying forearm. Shawn misses the top rope elbow though and Kennedy grabs a rollup for two. The pinfall reversal sequence gets a bunch of near falls but the superkick misses, allowing Kennedy to grab the Mic Check for the clean pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty good here with Kennedy working over the back for most of the back and avoiding the elbow to hurt it even further. Shawn was desperate and Kennedy capitalized on the missed superkick to get the win. I don’t buy Kennedy being anything important anytime in the near future, but he did well enough here.

HHH isn’t happy with having to fight Ric Flair tonight but he’ll give it his all. Vince McMahon, with William Regal, comes in to gloat. Regal throws in a bonus: if HHH loses, he’s not in the Royal Rumble. Well that makes things more interesting.

Big Dick Johnson and Jillian Hall dance/sing in the New Year, setting up a Ron Simmons cameo.

William Regal is in Vince McMahon’s office when Vince gets a phone call from someone from USA. With that seemingly meaningless, Vince wants Regal to prove himself tonight in a match with Hornswoggle. Regal would be happy to show him some tough love. Oh and don’t worry about Finlay because he’s in Northern Ireland. Regal was looking a bit rough here.

We look at Jim Duggan winning the first Royal Rumble.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Jim Duggan vs. Umaga

Duggan fires off right hands to start and gets knocked down with a single shot. The running hip attack connects in the corner, which draws blood from Duggan’s mouth. Umaga Samoan Spikes him for the easy win.

Ric Flair is talking to Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes when Vince McMahon comes in. Vince gets straight to the point: it’s over for Flair tonight, and there is no more limousine riding or kiss stealing.

Here is JBL for his Raw debut, so yes we do get balloons falling from the ceiling. We also get A LOT of pyro before JBL talks about how great it is that he is here, even if he doesn’t need to be here. He is here because he likes power and crushing people under his thumb. If he can’t buy it then he will take it, but here is Chris Jericho for the brawl. Referees and agents break it up (with commentary laying out for added effect).

In the back, JBL, with a bloody nose, yells at the agents and makes various threats.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix

Beth is defending and gets kicked in the face by Mickie, setting up an early Thesz press. Melina comes in for a cheap shot and gets two on Mickie, which doesn’t set well with Beth. A double enziguri drops Beth but Mickie neckbreakers Melina for two. Back up and Melina breaks up a hurricanrana to Beth but gets dropkicked in the face for her efforts. A rollup gives the challengers a near fall each and a double dropkick sends Beth outside. The MickieDT plants Melina but Beth throws Mickie outside and fisherman’s busters Melina to retain.

Rating: C. They were getting in as much as they could here but you can only get so far in four minutes with three people involved. It was about trying to get a pin as fast as you can and that was only going to work for so long. These three could have a good match, but they were handcuffed by the time here in a big way.

William Regal vs. Hornswoggle

Vince McMahon is here with Regal and gives Hornswoggle a pre-match hug. Regal is in street clothes and backs Hornswoggle into the corner with as much trouble as you would expect. The big left hand is loaded up….but Regal can’t do it. Vince gets on the apron for some glaring and orders Regal to do it, allowing Hornswoggle to get in a cheap shot. Regal again loads up the left hand but won’t do it. Vince even throws in the brass knuckles but Regal still doesn’t hit him. That’s enough for Vince who comes in to slap him in the face and say Regal failed the test. We’ll call it a no contest somewhere around here.

Post match Vince tells Regal to get out of here and asks what happened to him. Regal leaves and looks disgusted (as only he can).

We look back at Jeff Hardy taking out Randy Orton earlier tonight.

Jeff Hardy vs. Santino Marella

Non-title and Santino has Maria and Carlito with him. Santino starts fast and gets in a few shots in the corner but Jeff is right back with a sling shot dropkick. Cue Randy Orton on the screen though, where he kicks Matt Hardy where his missing appendix used to be. And in the head too (as Roddy Piper once said to Gorilla Monsoon).

HHH wishes Ric Flair luck, but implies that the match is a foregone conclusion. Flair doesn’t like that, but says they’ll always be friends because HHH is what Flair was 20 years ago. HHH isn’t the man until he finishes Flair, even if they’ll always be friends. For one night though, Flair is going to be the man again. HHH: “You be the man and I’ll beat the man.” Good line.

HHH vs. Ric Flair

HHH’s Royal Rumble spot vs. Flair’s career. Flair WOO’s to start and the fans seem to like him here. A early takedown lets Flair strut and HHH is starting to look a bit more serious. The right hands vs. chops battle goes to Flair so HHH knees him down. Flair fights out of the corner though so it’s a facebuster to take him down for two.

There’s a neckbreaker for two and a spinebuster makes it even worse for Flair. The Pedigree is countered into a backslide for two so HHH is right back up with the sleeper. A suplex gets Flair out of trouble and a butterfly suplex drops HHH again. Flair goes up and actually manages to hit a high crossbody (in a Starrcade callback) before starting in on HHH’s knees.

The Figure Four is broken up though as HHH kicks him into the corner but the knees are still banged up. Now the Figure Four goes on and Flair even drags it back to the middle. The second attempt at the rope works a bit better and HHH hits the Pedigree, only to bang up his knees again. Cue William Regal to hit Flair with the brass knuckles for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This could only be so good as they didn’t hate each other and Flair can’t get to that level anymore. The match was more about giving Flair one last hurrah in Greensboro and that was just fine, as it is one of those important towns for him. It was even a pretty good match, but they had some heavy limitations.

Overall Rating: C+. You can feel the build to the Royal Rumble starting up and that is a great thing to see. It makes things feel that much more important as it means Wrestlemania is on the (very distant) horizon and everything gets cranked up. This includes Jeff Hardy, who has a rocket on his back right now and I’m looking forward to seeing him every week. Good show here, and the road to the Royal Rumble is on, meaning things should keep going up

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 24, 2007
Location: Camp Speicher, Tikrit, Iraq
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the annual Tribute To The Troops show and this time around it happens to air on Christmas Eve. I can’t imagine that is going to go well for the audience numbers but this is a special show that gets some special treatment. The match quality isn’t going to be the point here either but let’s get to it.

We open with a look at the United States Army helping the Iraqi people and a voiceover about how important this whole thing is.

Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title. Jericho goes with an armdrag to start and Orton is a bit frustrated early on. Some choking in the corner annoys Jericho, who comes back out with an armdrag into an armbar. A dropkick to the leg takes Orton down again and Jericho elbows him in the head. They head outside with Jericho chopping away, then borrowing a soldier’s camera for a quick photo (that was cool). The distraction lets Orton get in a quick shot to the ribs though and there’s the hanging DDT as we take a break.

Back with Jericho fighting out of a chinlock but getting kneed in the ribs to put him right back down. The knee drop misses so Orton grabs a sleeper, which he switches straight into another chinlock. Jericho finally belly to back suplexes his way to freedom, followed by the missile dropkick for two. The enziguri into the bulldog sets up the Lionsault for a slightly delayed near fall but Orton goes to the eye. There’s the backbreaker to drop Jericho but he’s fine enough to counter the RKO into the Walls….and JBL’s music rings, with the bell making Jericho think he won. Then JBL gets in the ring for the DQ.

Rating: C+. They had a fun match (with the camera spot being worth a smile), though the DQ finish is a bit of an odd choice in a non-title match on a show like this one. Maybe WWE didn’t want to dampen the soldiers’ spirits by saying “yeah but he doesn’t win the title”, but it was kind of a strange feeling. At least Jericho vs. JBL should be fine going forward and a good way for JBL to get back in the ring.

Post match Orton hits Jericho with the RKO and heads off, leaving Jericho to eat the Clothesline From JBL.

Long video on the WWE people meeting the troops, including Vince McMahon asking two women which is grabbing, uh, him, during a photo.

Jeff Hardy vs. Carlito

Non-title. Again. Carlito backs into the corner to start, with Hardy getting smart by hitting a dropkick to the back to stagger him anyway. Hardy’s headlock doesn’t last long so Carlito tries a leapfrog, which is countered into something like a spinebuster (that might have been some miscommunication).

Back up and Carlito sends him into the ropes, where Hardy slides outside and high fives the front row (that could have easily been a regular spot). They switch places and Hardy hits a baseball slide, only to get caught with the Backstabber back inside. A quick Sling Blade gives Hardy two but the Twist of Fate is countered into a swinging neckbreaker for two. Carlito loads up the apple (as he is known to do) but walks into the Twist of Fate. The Swanton finishes for Hardy.

Rating: C. Totally simple match between the two here and that’s all this should have been. What matters is giving the fans a nice moment, though I’m even more confused why this wasn’t a title match. If Hardy is going over clean, why not have it be a title defense?

The troops talk about what they miss about America but they love putting up military art to spice things up a bit and make it a bit more their own. Cool.

We hear a story about a suicide bomber killing 19 soldiers in a mess hall. Not so cool.

Quick video on the progress that has been made so far.

Here is Vince McMahon for a chat. He gets straight to the point and thanks the troops for everything they do. With that simple message out of the way, let’s bring out the Divas.

Kelly Kelly/Layla vs. Maria/Mickie James

Yeah they’re over with this crowd. Joined in progress with Layla working on Maria’s wrist before we’re off to the catfight. Kelly comes in and gets kicked in the ribs as Lawler is having all of the fun you would expect here. Mickie comes in to avoid Kelly’s handspring elbow in the corner and gets in the required spanking. Everything breaks down and Maria and Mickie hit stereo Bronco Busters….but Vince stops the match.

Vince says the soldiers have gotten enough of this and Santa Claus IS NOT COMING TO IRAQ! Cue Santa, with his arm in a sling, to call Santa naughty. Vince didn’t want Santa coming here but he didn’t realize that Santa’s sleigh was built Army strong. Santa remembers that Vince stole a magazine from a convenience store as a kid.

Vince doesn’t buy it but Santa has a letter from Vince as a child (Santa: “It’s over 100 years old!”). See, Vince wanted a rooster as a child, plus a Red Rider BB gun! Vince pulls the beard off and it’s John Cena (shocking I know), who hits a one armed FU. With that out of the way, Santa has the Divas throw out gifts from his sack for the feel good moment.

Video on the progress the military has made in recent months.

There was a re-enlistment ceremony in the arena.

More wrestlers meet more troops.

The military has taken over a soccer stadium where the Iraqi national team was killed for losing a game. That stadium is where this show is taking place.

Rey Mysterio vs. Mark Henry

Henry shoves him down to start but Mysterio is dumb enough to hammer away. Some headbutts put Rey in the corner but he comes back again with a few dropkicks. A gorilla press drop gives Henry two and we hit the bearhug. Rey bites his way to freedom and gets clotheslined for another two. The splash misses though and a springboard seated senton gives Rey two of his own. Henry misses a charge in the corner and gets hit with the 619. Another springboard seated senton and a rollup are enough to give Rey the pin.

Rating: C. It’s as much of a David vs. Goliath match as you can get and Mysterio has known how to wrestle those for the better part of ever. All he had to do was keep moving and make Henry miss and he would be fine, which is exactly how the match went. Nothing wrong with this one as it’s pretty much Mysterio’s bread and butter most of the time.

Soldiers tell stories about improvised explosive devices injuring them at various times.

John Cena explains various military vehicles and a soldier gets to say hello to his family.

Raw Rebound.

Chris Jericho talks about his trip, ranging from the 16 hour flight to meeting troops.

D-Generation X vs. Mr. Kennedy/Umaga

We’re joined in progress with Shawn atomic dropping Kennedy and dropping him (less atomically) him again with some right hands. Umaga breaks up an early superkick attempt to give Kennedy two before coming in to headbutt Shawn. There’s a knee drop for two as the fans get behind Shawn rather quickly. It’s back to Kennedy for the front facelock before Umaga puts on the nerve hold.

An uppercut stops Shawn’s comeback attempt and Kennedy’s Regal Roll gets two. The middle rope splash misses for Umaga though and it is time to clean house. HHH goes through his usual array of offense before getting run over by Umaga to cut that off fast. The Samoan Spike is broken up by the superkick through and it’s another superkick to send Kennedy into the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: C+. This is another match that could have headlined dozens of house shows and it did well enough here. What matters is the good guys going over to send the troops out happy and they did that just fine. It wasn’t exactly a complicated match but they made things work with the basic match they were trying to have.

Some troops get to pose with DX.

One more music video of WWE meeting the troops wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B-. This is one of those shows where the ratings don’t matter whatsoever and that was definitely the case this year. The matches were all basic and the highlights were the videos of WWE interacting with the troops. It’s not supposed to be a regular show but they got the point across and had some fine enough matches along the way, so we’ll call it good.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 17, 2007
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re past Armageddon now and the big Raw story was JBL getting physical for the first time in a long while as he cost Chris Jericho the World Title. That means Randy Orton needs a new challenger and that is exactly what he has in the form of Jeff Hardy. The Royal Rumble is coming up, but so is the end of the year so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Vince McMahon getting beaten up at the Raw 15th Anniversary in a pretty cool moment.

Opening sequence.

Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla vs. Mickie James/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly/Maria

Santa’s Little Helper match. Jillian tries to sing but gets cut off by the other team’s entrance and we’re ready to go. Maria flips Jillian down to start and it’s Michelle coming in to clean house. A bunch of hiptosses put the villains down before Kelly comes in. That doesn’t go so well as Victoria and Melina double team her down in the corner. Kelly is out in a hurry and brings in Mickie, with the MickieDT finishing Victoria in a hurry.

Rating: D. What are you expecting here? It’s a bunch of women in their festive outfits, which were the stars of the match. There was no story or structure to the match and they were probably told the winner and nothing more. It did its job well enough, but that had nothing to do with having a match.

Post match the winners clear the ring but here is a very shaken looking Vince McMahon to tell them to get out. Vince talks about how last week was supposed to be a celebration of his greatest creation but he was left laying and covered in beer while everyone else celebrated. What he doesn’t understand is how all of these people were so happy to see it.

Cue Jeff Hardy (there’s a pair you don’t see very often) to say that next week they’re going to Iraq. Jeff says that the people celebrated when Saddam Hussein was killed because he was crazed with power. Does that sound familiar? Vince gets the point…and sits down in the corner to cry as we take a break.

Back with William Regal and a referee trying to get Vince to leave but here is HHH instead. HHH calls Regal Liberace and says he’s the closest thing Vince has left to family. Vince cries even more so HHH sits next to him and apologizes for everything that happened last week (which he lists off). HHH: “Now get out of the ring before they cancel the show.”

Regal isn’t having this so he threatens….to have security throw HHH out. Vince forces himself to his feet and tells Regal to get Coach, but no security. Tonight it’s Regal/Coach vs. HHH and Vince hopes something bad happens to everyone. Then he cries some more. Weird Vince can be entertaining Vince and that was the case here.

HHH vs. William Regal/Jonathan Coachman

Everyone is in street clothes for a unique look. A single right hand drops Coach and HHH slugs away on Regal. The numbers game gets the better of things though and HHH gets sent into the post. Then a kick to the head drives it into the post again and Coach gets two. That’s enough for HHH as the comeback is on with right hands all around, plus a facebuster to Regal. The brass knuckles are cut off with a spinebuster to Regal and HHH picks up the knuckles. Coach gets poked in the head with said knuckles, setting up the Pedigree for the easy pin.

Rating: C-. What else is there to say about something like this? It was a quick workout for HHH, who isn’t going to lose often and especially not to these two. Vince losing his marbles is a good sign and if he sends these two do bumble through his bidding, it could be a lot of fun. For now though, HHH got to beat them up and he knows how to do that very well.

We recap JBL costing Chris Jericho the Raw World Title last night.

Tag Team Titles: Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Holly and Rhodes are defending after winning the titles from Cade and Murdoch last week. Cade drives Rhodes into the corner to start but it’s quickly off to Holly to chop Murdoch against the ropes. An atomic drop, with Cade adding a running big boot, cuts that off and an assisted legdrop gives Murdoch two. The dropkick gets Holly out of trouble though and it’s back to Rhodes as everything breaks down. Rhodes DDTs Cade to retain the titles. Well that was brisk.

Here is Ric Flair for a chat before his latest career threatening match. Flair reiterates that he will NEVER retire, even though Vince McMahon said the next time he loses, he will never wrestle again. Apparently Vince doesn’t want to see him get hurt but Flair has been doing this for thirty five years and he has loved doing all of this. Flair has sacrificed everything to be here and he isn’t about to throw it away.

He has traveled the roads for thirty years and we hear about a lot of them (Dusty Rhodes, Arn Anderson, Ricky Steamboat etc), plus some of the new friends he has made (Batista, Undertaker, HHH, Shawn Michaels etc). Now he has to be the Nature Boy and he respects everyone in that locker room. Tonight it’s another journey because he has Umaga but he is giving it all he has. He wants the best from whoever beats him and isn’t losing without the fight of his life. If he loses tonight, thank you. Rather nice speech there, as Flair knows how to bring the emotion.

Ric Flair vs. Umaga

Flair strikes away to start to the same amount of avail that you would expect. Umaga shoves him down without much trouble and grabs an early nerve hold. Back up and a clothesline drops Flair again, setting up a belly to belly for two. Some cannonballs down onto the chest keep Flair down and we’re right back to the nerve hold.

Umaga misses the middle rope headbutt though and now Flair’s chops work a bit better. The chop block doesn’t do much though and Umaga knocks him outside. The big running charge misses though and Umaga crashes through the barricade, allowing Flair to beat the count back in and survive.

Rating: C-. That’s how this should have gone, as Umaga was squashing Flair until he managed to escape rather than win. Flair shouldn’t be able to beat someone like Umaga at this point and they didn’t bother trying to do anything else. That kind of emotional trip is something Flair can sell as he knows how to do as well as anyone. Not a great match, but a properly told story.

Flair: “One more thing: WOO!”

Here is Chris Jericho to call out JBL. He should be happy with what he did last night because he beat Randy Orton, but it was by DQ. We see a clip of JBL interfering to cost Jericho the title and he wants an explanation. JBL isn’t here tonight, so Jericho will be heading to Smackdown to get some answers in person.

Cue JBL on the Titantron to say he’s too busy to be in a place like Buffalo. Jericho is low on JBL’s list of priorities and he blames Jericho for causing his own problems. Apparently this means Jericho being sent into JBL last night, which sends Jericho into a rant about how everyone is knocked over out here. Timekeeper Mark Yeaton got superkicked last week but he didn’t storm the ring. JBL: “MARK YEATON NEEDS AN APPOINTMENT TO TALK TO MY DOORMAN!”

Jericho promises to be at Smackdown but JBL warns him that a deal will be made to prevent that. JBL knew this would happen and talked to Vince McMahon, saying that if Jericho goes after him again, there is no Royal Rumble and no future title shot. That makes Jericho think that JBL has lost his killer instinct and is now listed with the talk show hosts and broadcasters. That’s too far for JBL, who is coming to Raw next week because he is a wrestling god. Seems to work for Jericho.

Santino Marella/Carlito vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Maria is here with Santino and Carlito. Hold on though as Carlito and Santino aren’t sure who should start because they’re new at this teaming together thing. Kendrick takes over on Santino’s arm to start and hands it off to London to stay on that arm. London’s running dropkick puts Santino down again so it’s off to Carlito to try his luck. A high crossbody takes Carlito down but Santino offers a distraction. That’s enough for a Backstabber to finish London for quite the upset.

Post match Santino thinks Carlito is Colombian and makes a spitting joke as the new team doesn’t seem to be the greatest idea.

Randy Orton says he did exactly what he promised to do last night by beating up Chris Jericho. Now he is ready for Jeff Hardy at the Royal Rumble.

HHH congratulates Ric Flair on his win. They’re both rather happy but here is wacky Vince McMahon to say HHH can face Flair in a career threatening match in two weeks.

Jeff Hardy/Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Kennedy/Randy Orton

Orton runs Hardy over to start but Hardy kicks him away for a standoff. Kennedy comes in to knock him into the corner, only to get knocked down for the legdrop between the legs. A crossbody hits Kennedy and everything breaks down with the good guys hitting stereo dives to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Hardy missing Whisper in the Wind to put him in trouble for a change. Orton stomps away before handing it right back to Kennedy, who gets caught with a clothesline. It’s back to Shawn to clean a few rooms before Orton cheap shots him from the apron.

The chinlock goes on for a bit before Shawn is whipped hard into the corner for a crash to the floor. Back in and Orton starts the circle stomp before Kennedy grabs a camel clutch of all things. With that broken up, Shawn enziguris his way to freedom and falls into the corner for the tag to Hardy. The pace picks up (as it tends to do with Hardy) and everything breaks down (as it tends to do with main event tag matches). Hardy hits a Twist of Fate and a very fast Swanton to finish Orton for a statement win.

Rating: C+. This match was designed to do one thing and one thing only: make it clear that Hardy could win. Hardy is on a roll at the moment and all roads lead to the Royal Rumble, where Hardy might be able to pull off the miracle. The fans are behind him and he is racking up win after win, so why can’t he make something like this work? That seems to be the idea they are focusing on at the moment and that could wind up being great. Shawn and Kennedy were there too, but this was all about Hardy beating Orton.

Overall Rating: C. You could definitely tell this was a show where they were taking things a bit less seriously as it was a more lighthearted and easy week. The main event served a purpose, but the only other story that was treated seriously was Flair. Vince was being his over the top self and that tends to be more humorous than anything else, though it’s not like HHH beating up Coach is ever going to get old. Not the most interesting show, but an easy watch.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 3, 2007
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are less than two weeks away from Armageddon and the Raw main event seems to be Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton for the Raw World Title. Other than that, we have HHH vs. Jeff Hardy and odds are that is going to get the majority of the attention this week. I’m not sure what that is going to entail but let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Here is Chris Jericho to get things going. Jericho is back and wants a title match, which is why he cost Randy Orton a match against Ric Flair last week. Then after last week, Jericho felt a tingle in his pants because of this. We see a clip of Orton agreeing to the title match after Raw last week and Jericho is rather happy.

Cue Orton, who lists off all of his recent victims but Jericho says that just like beating Rock and Austin in one night, that means nothing right now. Violence is teased but here is William Regal to say the two of them can pick the other’s opponents tonight. Orton picks Umaga to face Jericho while Jericho makes Orton vs. Shawn Michaels.

Maria/Mickie James vs. Melina/Beth Phoenix

Maria takes Melina down for an early two but Melina is back up with some shots to the face. Beth comes in to power her into the corner but stops to bring in Mickie. They slugout is on until Beth pulls her off of the top for the crash. With Maria knocked down, it’s a fisherman’s buster to finish Mickie, making me wonder what the point was to this one.

Shawn Michaels says tonight, the WWE Title isn’t on the line, but Sweet Chin Music is all legal. Mr. Kennedy pops up on a monitor to tell Shawn to be ready for their match at Armageddon. He promises a blast from the past that could break Shawn’s heart.

Here is Mr. Kennedy for a chat. He wants to get to know Shawn a bit more so he has invited some of Shawn’s friends and rivals. We’ll start with someone Shawn won’t share the spotlight with: Marty Jannetty (that’s not Marty Jannetty), Razor Ramon (that’s not Razor Ramon, though he does get in a Hey Yo) and Diesel (that’s not Diesel). We need the man himself though, but that’s not Shawn Michaels. They get to describe Shawn, including words like egotistical, chump and traitor. Kennedy threatens the fake Shawn but gets cut off by the real thing. House is cleaned with Kennedy leaving for the staredown from the floor.

Next week: Raw’s 15th Anniversary.

Vince McMahon, with Coach, is on the phone in his office and announces that Hulk Hogan will be here next week. Other names include Trish Stratus, Mick Foley, Eric Bischoff (Vince: “ERIC BISCHOFF???) and Hulk Hogan but here is Hornswoggle to interrupt. Vince has him sit down because he has something special for next week: the official McMahon Family Portrait. As for tonight, Vince isn’t happy with Hornswoggle surviving his tough love attempts, but since Finlay isn’t here tonight, we’ll see how the Luck of the Irish does against Coach/Carlito. The bosses leave and Hornswoggle pulls out a phone.

We look back at HHH and Jeff Hardy working together last week before being told they will be facing off at Armageddon.

William Regal comes in to see HHH and talks about the logic behind the match with Hardy. Speaking of that match, we’ll sweeten the pot a bit by making it for the WWE Title shot at the Royal Rumble. Since that title means so much to HHH, maybe he’ll use that anger on Hardy. HHH says he doesn’t hate Hardy, but he would Pedigree his mother, grandmother or father in law to be WWE Champion again.

Umaga vs. Chris Jericho

We actually join this in progress with Jericho in control on the floor and taking him back inside for some elbows to the head. Umaga sends him outside though and it’s a splash for two back inside. The nerve hold goes on for a bit, followed by a superkick to send Jericho into the corner. The running hip attack misses though and Jericho manages a knockdown of his own. Jericho’s running dropkick into the Lionsault gets two and the Codebreaker (now named) connects but Randy Orton runs in to jump Jericho for the DQ.

Rating: C+. These two can work well together but my goodness Umaga has fallen a long way. There is only so much you can do with a monster who keeps losing over and over. He didn’t even take a pin here, but rather than being something that mattered, he was just there to make Jericho look good. It happens to most monsters though, and that is the case again here.

Post match Orton lays Jericho out with the RKO.

Hornswoggle vs. Carlito/Jonathan Coachman

No DQ and hold on though as Hornswoggle has hired protection for this match. Cue the APA to wreck Carlito and Coach, setting up the Tadpole splash to finish Coach fast.

Post match Bradshaw says they’re open for hire and plugs Smackdown, with Simmons adding the catchphrase.

Snitsky wants the Intercontinental Title and to hurt Jeff Hardy in the process.

Intercontinental Title: Snitsky vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy is defending. Snitsky knocks him down fast and drops an elbow before choking away in the corner. We hit a double underhook crank to keep Hardy down but he avoids the running legdrop. A quick Twist of Fate into the Swanton retains the title.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here but were you expecting anything else from Snitsky getting a title shot? That is the kind of thing you see happen when someone no shows a house show. Hardy getting a win is a good thing as his rise up the card continues, and you know that he is coming for the main event scene a lot sooner rather than later.

Post match Snitsky kicks him in the face but HHH comes in with the sledgehammer for the save. HHH teases hitting Hardy but helps him up instead.

Smackdown Rebound.

Armageddon rundown.

Jillian Hall comes in to sing for Vince McMahon, who isn’t impressed. William Regal comes in to tell him that Stephanie McMahon is on her way.

Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton

Non-title. The chase is on to start with Shawn catching him in inside and starting the stomping. The headlock slows Orton down but he’s back up with an elbow to the face. Back up and Michaels grabs an ankle lock of all things to put Orton in trouble. Orton rolls out to the floor for a breather and we take a break.

Back with Shawn clotheslining him out to the floor but missing a superkick, which hits the timekeeper by mistake (Shawn has a bad record with that). Back in and Orton stomps away and we hit the chinlock with a bodyscissors. Shawn fights up and hits a slam into the top rope elbow but has to dive onto an invading Kennedy. They fight into the crowd and Shawn is counted out (because a DQ isn’t an option for some reason).

Rating: C+. This is another match that is going to work almost no matter what because they have some good chemistry together. They weren’t going to have either of them take a fall here as they both have big matches coming up at Armageddon, so this was a matter of waiting on either Kennedy or Chris Jericho interfering. Granted it was a nice match on the way there, but it was waiting.

Post match Kennedy and Shawn brawl into the crowd as Chris Jericho runs in to jump Orton.

Stephanie McMahon comes in to see her dad and points out that he has invited a bunch of people who hate him for next week. She doesn’t want to see him get beaten up again so please don’t put yourself in that place. Vince: “I LOVE CONFRONTATION!” He also promises to name the greatest Raw star of all time.

Overall Rating: C+. They are making me more interested in the pay per view than just about anything else they have done on Raw in the last little while so something is going right. I’m not sure how long that is going to last but at least we are getting some nice television on the way there. Just find a way to keep it going and WWE could be going somewhere.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 19, 2007
Location: Bank Atlantic Center, Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Survivor Series and the big Raw story is that Randy Orton retained the Raw World Title over Shawn Michaels. That means Orton is going to need a new challenger and as luck would have it, the SAVE US deal is going to be revealed tonight. That could mean….ok even the fans are already chanting the name so this isn’t much of a surprise. Let’s get to it.

Here is Survivor Series if you need a recap.

A running man is carrying a torch through the streets.

Opening sequence.

Here is Shawn Michaels for a chat. There is no reason to wait on it, so Shawn invites Randy Orton out here to shake his hand. Orton pops up on screen to say he isn’t coming out there and getting superkicked again. Shawn: “All right, all right, you got me. If you came out here, I was going to kick you again.” Shawn also wants a rematch, but Orton says no because he has already proven that he is the better man. That is why the torch bearer is on his way from Miami to Fort Lauderdale, as we are going to be seeing the torch passed.

Cue Mr. Kennedy to charge the ring and go after Shawn so the fight is on. Shawn wants a match but Kennedy says Shawn is best known for losing over and over in big matches. Or just losing his smile. Cue William Regal to say ring the bell and here’s a referee as we take a break. Back with the bell not ringing and the fight continuing on the floor. They fight into the crowd with Kennedy getting the better of things. Kennedy grabs the chair but it gets superkicked into his face to wrap things up. Just a brawl and not a match.

Jerry Lawler vs. Santino Marella

Hold on, as Marella wants the referee to watch Lawler’s punches. Instead, Lawler hits a dropkick and Marella isn’t sure what to do. Santino is right back with a whip into the corner but Lawler reverses and hammers away at the ribs. A missed charge puts Lawler in trouble again though and Marella heads outside to put on Lawler’s crown. Marella promises to beat Lawler like a government dog and makes jokes about puppies. The jokes finally go on too long and Lawler hits him in the face, setting up a hiptoss. A backslide of all things gives Lawler the pin.

Rating: C-. Yeah what were you expecting here? Lawler is the definition of a feel good match that has almost no impact on anything, but he can still make his stuff look passable enough. Marella is someone who can get back to whatever he needs to be doing with a few words so Lawler pinning him is hardly some career death. Let the fans have a bit of a smile and no one gets hurt.

Post match Randy Orton runs in and takes Lawler out with an RKO. Orton has an update on his torch runner, who is now at the arena where he beat Shawn Michaels at last night. Orton: “It feels like yesterday. Wait a minute. It was yesterday.”

Mr. Kennedy says he was out there to show Shawn Michaels some respect but he got superkicked for his efforts. Kennedy looks rather disturbed by the whole thing but thinks it is because Shawn knows his career is evaporating. Shawn sees talent in Kennedy that he wished he himself had so now he is trying to hold Kennedy down. That won’t happen though because Father Time is going to catch up with him. Next time, Shawn doesn’t have to worry about Father Time, because he has to worry about Mr. Kennedy.

We recap Great Khali vs. Hornswoggle, with Finlay coming in for the save.

Vince McMahon asks William Regal and Coach about how great Survivor Series was. They talk about how scared Hornswoggle was but the mention of Finlay doesn’t sit well with Vince. Cue Carlito, who liked the tough love Vince showed Hornswoggle last night. Vince gives Carlito Hornswoggle tonight. That sounds cool.

Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga

Non-title. Hardy slugs away to start to limited success, as Umaga headbutts him out of the corner. A pair of dropkicks work a bit better for Hardy but Umaga shoulders him out of the air without much effort. The nerve hold goes on…and it stays on….and on, until Hardy gets taken into the corner. A missed charge lets Jeff have a breather but Umaga shoves him off the top and into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with the nerve hold on again, followed by another nerve hold as this continues to be lame. Some chest kicks and a spinwheel kick give Umaga two and the spinning release Rock Bottom gets the same. The fourth nerve hold sets up the missed middle rope headbutt and the missed running hip attack in the corner gives Jeff a breather. There’s the Whisper in the Wind for two but the Swanton misses for a crash. The Samoan Spike is countered into a Twist of Fate to send Umaga outside, setting up the big dive. Cue Snitsky of all people to jump Hardy for the DQ.

Rating: D+. It was a long match, but come on already with that many nerve holds. Crank on the arm, pull on the leg or just hit Jeff for a bit but find out something other than the same hold four times in a match. Then after all that, we get something for the sake of Snitsky being in there again. How happy I am to see this schnook get reheated. Again. For the 14th or so time.

Post match the double beatdown is on until HHH makes the save and clears the ring.

SAVE US! Tonight.

Jeff Hardy thanks HHH, who calls himself the Good Samaritan of WWE. He’s always there to help someone in need and of course no one buys this. In reality, he doesn’t like Umaga and Snitsky trying to be the bada**** of WWE. He and Jeff Hardy have nothing in common, much like himself and Tod Grisham, who seems to like transvestites. JR: “That’ll be on WWE.com.”

Cody Rhodes vs. Hardcore Holly

Rhodes takes Holly into the corner to start and gets chopped for his efforts. Some slams have Rhodes in trouble and it’s time to kick away at him on the ropes. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Cody fights up with right hands and a Russian legsweep. The Alabama Slam is loaded up but Cody reverses into a DDT for the pin.

Post match Randy Orton comes out for an RKO to both of them. We get another update on the torch runner: now he’s in Fort Lauderdale!

JR reluctantly introduces us to a Randy Orton tribute video, at least on his last few months.

Finlay comes in to see Vince McMahon and seems a bit serious. Threats seem to be made about Hornswoggle’s safety but Vince doesn’t like surprises. Vince says he’s just as Irish as Finlay but won’t say where he was born. They’ll go have a drink after the show, with Finlay saying someone Vince’s age needs hot milk. Finlay is joking, but Vince doesn’t seem pleased.

Ric Flair is back next week. Yay.

Mickie James/Maria vs. Jillian Hall/Melina

Before the match, Jillian mocks a singer who did a duet with Lilian Garcia, even though no one likes that “Mexican talk.” Then Jillian sings what she seems to think is Spanish and it doesn’t go well. Maria flips out of a wristlock to start and hits Melina with a Bronco Buster. Melina knocks her down and hands it off to Jillian for a 450. That’s fine with Maria, who pulls Melina into the way instead. It’s off to Mickie for a neckbreaker and the Long Kiss Goodnight for the fast pin.

Carlito vs. Hornswoggle

No DQ. Carlito is nice enough to drop to his knees before the test of strength but does shove Hornswoggle down. The chase is on outside, with Hornswoggle stealing JR’s cowboy hat and handing it off to Lilian Garcia. Carlito chases him under the ring but Hornswoggle comes out the other side with a bucket of water. That earns Hornswoggle a shot to the face but here is Finlay to take Carlito out. Hornswoggle is dropped onto Carlito for the pin.

Rating: D+. Yeah you can only get so much out of something like this as they didn’t have time and it wasn’t supposed to be anything serious. Finlay getting a face turn out of Hornswoggle is already more interesting than most of what we saw with Vince and Hornswoggle so I’ll take what I can get. Now just get somewhere with it and it could be worthwhile.

Post match Hornswoggle spits apple on Carlito.

The torch runner arrives.

Here is Randy Orton for his big moment. Orton talks about how there is no one left to face him because he has beaten everyone there is to beat. Now it is time for the torch to be passed to him and here is the torch runner in the arena. Said runner is clotheslined down by someone who appears to be a short haired Chris Jericho doing a Chris Jericho pose.

The SAVE US video plays, and yes, it is in fact Chris Jericho. He confirms that he is back and is happy the people remembered him. Jericho invites us to tilt the seats back and go into overdrive because it is time for pure entertainment. Orton brings up taking Jericho out and wants to know what he is saving us from. Jericho: “Your boring personality for one.” Jericho gets to the point: he is coming for the title and nothing will ever be the same a-gain. Orton isn’t happy to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show is built around the Jericho/Orton stuff and Jericho is a good way to go for the next challenger. Other than that though, this wasn’t the best show, other than setting up HHH and Hardy doing whatever going forward. There are a few intriguing things coming up, but it might take a bit to make them work. Not a great show here, but they did plant some important seeds.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 12, 2007
Location: Kansas Expo Center, Topeka, Kansas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and the show is mostly set. Last week’s show was some weird offshoot that didn’t do much to make me want to see Survivor Series, but at least the pay per view looks good on paper. That could make for an interesting week here so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a special Veterans Day video.

Here is Smackdown World Champion Batista to get things going. He is getting ready for the Undertaker inside the Cell on Sunday and he is here because of an invitation from Raw General Manager William Regal. Batista wants some competition and here is Undertaker to interrupt. Undertaker seems ready to fight and we have a referee but cue Regal to interrupt, because we’re going to have a tag match.

Batista/Undertaker vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Non-title. Undertaker starts fast with Old School on Cade but Batista tags himself in for some shoulders to the ribs. Murdoch comes in and shoulders Batista down but a spinebuster gets Batista out of trouble. Undertaker chokeslams Cade and Batista spears Murdoch. The Tombstone finishes Cade in a hurry, because the Tag Team Champions should be losing in less than three minutes to a team who doesn’t like each other.

Post match, Batista gives Murdoch a bonus Batista Bomb.

Here’s a look at Smackdown vs. Raw 2008.

Beth Phoenix vs. Maria

Non-title. Beth kicks her down without much trouble to start but Maria gets in some kicks of her own. That’s enough for Beth as she grabs the fisherman’s suplex for the pin.

Post match Santino Marella comes out to check on Maria. With that out of the way, Santino starts talking about how unfair it was to get beaten up by Steve Austin last week. What happened to the first amendment? Santino wants an apology from Austin, who isn’t here this week. With that not working, he’ll go over to Austin’s friend, Jim Ross. Santino mocks JR’s English abilities and wants a fight, but JR won’t get up. Jerry Lawler will though and gets in the ring to punch Santino down.

Post break, Santino challenges Lawler for later tonight. Lawler is game.

Video on Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton.

We get a Mobile Exclusive (meaning something that aired on Smackdown) showing Randy Orton and William Regal meeting in the back. The Survivor Series match will now have Sweet Chin Music banned, but if Orton tries to get disqualified, he loses the title.

Hardys/Rey Mysterio vs. Mr. Kennedy/Finlay/MVP

Matt wants MVP to start with him but gets Finlay instead. Finlay shoulders him down and hands it off to Kennedy to work on the knee as it’s weird hearing JR talk about these guys after so many months. Matt fights up with some armdrags but a distraction lets Kennedy knock him to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Matt and Kennedy not quite getting a Side Effect right. It’s still enough to bring Rey in but MVP takes him down anyway. MVP grabs a seated abdominal stretch and it’s back to Finlay for a running sitdown splash to stay on the ribs. Kennedy hits some backbreakers and MVP grabs a waistlock as the ribs are rather banged up. Rey fights up and grabs a DDT though, allowing the hot tag off to Jeff. Everything breaks down and Rey hits a 619 to MVP and Kennedy at the same time. Jeff Swantons MVP for the pin.

Rating: C+. I think you knew what you were getting here and they did it just fine. You have more than enough talent here that any combination could have pulled off a good match here and the Mysterio rib injury worked. There is a pretty solid mid to upper midcard in WWE at the moment and this was a nice showcase for some of them.

SAVE US, which now says six days, 23 hours, 33 minutes and BREAK THE WALLS in case you didn’t get the idea yet.

Here is Vince McMahon to moderate a face to face meeting between Randy Orton and Shawn Michaels. They go over the stipulations for Sunday’s match, which brings up the idea of Shawn not being able to use the superkick. Shawn thinks Orton picked these rules because he is sick of the superkick. Maybe Shawn is a one trick pony, but maybe he could use a submission or something new.

All that matters to Shawn is that he remembers seeing his family after Orton put him down and that isn’t going to go away. Vince offers a distraction though and Orton gets in a cheap shot, only to have Vince block the Punt. Orton goes with the RKO instead and Shawn is left laying for a change. Nice use of a heel beatdown segment here.

Jillian Hall/Layla/Melina vs. Mickie James/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly

Michelle and Melina fight over wrist control to start, with Michelle wristdragging her into the corner. Kelly comes in and makes the mistake of dancing a bit too much, allowing Melina to drop her with a clothesline. Jillian comes in and quickly gives up a tag off to Mickie so house can be cleaned. Mickie gives Layla the Long Kiss Goodnight (kiss into a spinning kick to the head) for the pin.

Classic Survivor Series clip: The Rock wins the WWF Title at Survivor Series 1998 by going Corporate.

Snitsky likes to hurt people.

Jerry Lawler vs. Santino Marella

Lawler is in street clothes and JR keeps hyping up the right hand. A backdrop has Marella in early trouble and the right hands knock him up against the ropes. Marella gets in him into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs but Lawler avoids a knee drop. Some right hands stagger Lawler but Marella stops to yell at JR and gets small packaged for the fast pin. Short and inoffensive.

SAVE US. AGAIN.

Before the fans came in earlier today, William Regal held a training session for Hornswoggle in the empty arena. For some reason, Hornswoggle and Great Khali (or at least Coach in a Khali wig) both get full entrances from Lilian Garcia. Coach takes the wig off but Real yells at him until he puts it back on. Someone else as Runjin Singh handles the ranting translations and we seem to be having a full match. Hornswoggle takes a distracted Coach down, knocks the wind out of him and hits the Tadpole Splash for the fast pin. This could have been funny but it was too short to go anywhere.

Survivor Series rundown.

HHH is looking forward to Survivor Series but tonight, he’s taking out Umaga in a lumberjack match. He’ll take out all of Umaga’s guys if he needs to and then his team will win again on Sunday.

Classic Survivor Series clip: The Royal Family vs. Clowns R Us. No.

HHH vs. Umaga

Lumberjack match with the other Survivor Series team members (and more) around the ring. Umaga starts fast and the brawl is on, with HHH being sent outside. A right hand drops Matt Striker so HHH heads back inside, only to take Umaga outside this time. HHH dives off the apron to take out Umaga and the pile. Umaga gets in a shot of his own though and we take a break.

Back with Umaga hitting the swinging release Rock Bottom to take over again. Umaga sits on HHH’s ribs and lets Finlay get in a cheap shot from the floor (as you do). HHH gets in a shot to the head and tries a slam, only to fall back in a crash. We hit the nerve hold for a bit before HHH gets pounded down into the corner. The running hip attack misses though, allowing HHH to grab a DDT. The facebuster looks to set up the Pedigree but Umaga is back with the Samoan drop. Not that HHH minds as he comes back with the spinebuster, drawing in Finlay for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was almost every HHH vs. Umaga match you’ve ever seen but with some guest stars on the floor. They couldn’t have a clean ending on the last show before Survivor Series and lumberjacks are a perfect way out. I don’t think there is a ton of drama for what is going to happen on Sunday though and there was only so much interest in seeing these two fight again here.

The big brawl ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. As has been obvious on Smackdown in recent weeks, Survivor Series is not going to be a deep show. There is the Undertaker vs. Batista match on top, then Shawn vs. Orton a good bit below that. Other than that, you have Team HHH vs. Team Umaga to make it feel like Survivor Series and that’s really about it for stuff that matters. This wasn’t exactly a great go home show, but they did a nice enough job of hitting the bigger stuff on Sunday’s card. Now just get through Survivor Series and let us get on to something more traditional, as that could do Raw and Smackdown some good.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 5, 2007
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,133
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on Survivor Series and now that the Smackdown main event has been announced, you have to expect the Raw counterpart will be set up soon. The big story tonight is a one night reunion of D-Generation X, as HHH needs some help deal with Randy Orton and Umaga. Sounds Survivor Seriesish to me. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Fabulous Moolah.

Opening sequence.

Here is D-Generation X to get things going. After a fairly long entrance, HHH says this is for one night only and asks if we’re ready. The catchphrase is loaded up but a crotch chopping Hornswoggle interrupts. HHH: “Well that’s…different.” HHH tells him to get back under the ring but Hornswoggle doesn’t listen. Shawn is asked for a run sheet and, after going through all of his merchandise, finds said sheet in his boot (Shawn: “In case I forget what I’m supposed to do.”).

The sheet says DX PROMO in segment one at 9PM (HHH: “East coast time.”) and Hornswoggle isn’t on until the short segment. Hornswoggle then armdrags Shawn into an armscissors (with HHH pointing out that it is the SHORT armscissors). Shawn: “I’m going to make a judgment call here: for tonight, he’s in.”. Hornswoggle doesn’t want to go under the ring because there’s a monster under there.

Shawn goes to look….and is pulled under. He comes back up with worms in his mouth so here is the Boogeyman. HHH hands him a mic, with Boogeyman saying “I’M THE BOOGEYMAN, AND I’M COMING TO…..see if I can join DX.” Shawn makes another executive decision and lets Boogeyman in again so here is Great Khali as a bonus. Shawn: “To keep me from turning into a human Slim Jim, let’s pretend he isn’t here and move on.” HHH goes into an Indian impression that would get him thrown off the air today but now it’s Coach interrupting.

HHH isn’t having this and tells Runjin Singh what Coach said about Khali earlier. Shawn, who CAN’T LIE, backs HHH up and Khali chases Coach to the floor. Everyone else leaves, with Shawn saying he doesn’t know who writes this anymore but this is the worst thing he’s seen since that Katie Vick thing. HHH: “I don’t think anyone writes this crap. They’re on strike.” Catchphrases are hit to wrap up the wackiness.

Actor Luke Perry is here. There are some kids around him, and if one of those is his son, we have seen the wrestling debut of the future Jungle Boy.

We look back at Kelly Kelly winning last week’s Halloween battle royal and getting destroyed by Beth Phoenix after.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Non-title and Phoenix grabs a release fisherman’s suplex for the pin in less than a minute. Well so much for Kelly for the time being, which is how it should go in this situation.

Santino Marella knows that Steve Austin will be here tonight and mocks Austin’s acting abilities. He even throws in a paper bag, so Austin can act his way out of it.

Carlito vs. Joey Munoz

Hold on though as Carlito says he isn’t wrestling so here is a replacement.

Snitsky vs. Joey Munoz

Pumphandle slam finishes Munoz in about thirty seconds.

Post match Snitsky kicks Carlito in the face and gives him the pumphandle slam too. Time for another Snitsky push it seems.

We get a Jeff Hardy video set to Rooftops by Lostprophets. This is actually on Peacock despite it being a music video and the Lostprophets singer being a monster. That aside, this is a heck of a video, with the lyrics about screaming and dropping bombs being timed to shots of fans screaming for Hardy and Swantons. You can tell something big is coming for him and that is a very good idea. Ignore Jerry Lawler being heard asking “how long is it” after the video starts.

For Survivor Series: Team HHH (HHH/CM Punk/Kane/Jeff Hardy/Matt Hardy) vs. Team Umaga (Umaga/MVP/Mr. Kennedy/Finlay/Big Daddy V).

Mr. Kennedy/Finlay vs. Rey Mysterio/Jeff Hardy

JR dubs Hardy and Mysterio as the WWE Air Force. Hardy and Finlay go to the mat to start until a Kennedy distraction lets Finlay hit a clothesline to the floor. We take a break and come back with Mysterio hitting a springboard crossbody on Kennedy, only to have him run Mysterio over.

It’s Finlay coming back in to go after the knee, including a half crab. The legdrop onto the knee makes it worse and Kennedy adds a right hand for two. Mysterio is back with something like a DDT, allowing the hot tag off to Hardy to clean house. The Whisper in the Wind hits Kennedy but Finlay makes the save. Rey 619s Finlay to the floor, leaving Hardy to hit the Swanton for the pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty standard midcard tag match here with the wrestlers involved being good enough to make almost anything work. Mysterio vs. Finlay is set up for a blowoff on Friday while Hardy vs. Kennedy seems to have run its course. That being said, throw in the video package before the match and it is hard to imagine they are waiting much longer on giving Hardy the main event push, which seems to have been set up for a few weeks now.

Maria tries to tell Santino Marella that Steve Austin is here but he doesn’t buy it.

Here are Maria and Santino Marella for a chat. Santino mocks the Condemned, then he mocks the Condemned’s director, then he mocks the Condemned again, then Steve Austin comes out. Austin corrects Santino’s errors in his catchphrases and then asks about the Condemned again. Santino really did hate the movie and turns down a beer, saying he would rather have a glass of red wine. Austin hands him a copy of the Condemned but Santino can’t watch it again.

There’s the Stunner, allowing Austin to put the DVD in Santino’s mouth. Austin thinks Santino is thirsty and goes to the back before coming out driving a beer truck. Santino gets sprayed down and, despite her begging, so does Maria. Beer is consumed to wrap up a segment that wasn’t funny and felt pretty out of character for Austin. I know he needs to promote a DVD, but that just doesn’t feel like an Austin thing.

SAVE US!

Vince McMahon is in the back with Hornswoggle and takes the blame for the trouble Hornswoggle has had with Jonathan Coachman. McMahon even has a way for Hornswoggle to prove himself at Survivor Series…..when he faces Great Khali.

Survivor Series rundown.

HHH is in the back and has been asked to talk because they need to fill in time while Steve Austin’s mess is cleaned up. Shawn Michaels comes in to say he has it set, so here are the DX Dancers….which is Big Dick Johnson. HHH isn’t impressed but Shawn says he’s a father of two so the only cool thing he knows is Dora the Explorer. Don’t worry though as HHH has The Girls Next Door (from a Playboy reality show, meaning Shawn leaves with his eyes covered). Dancing ensues and it’s very strange to see HHH…..I guess it’s dancing but I’m not sure.

Lance Cade sends Mickie James away for talking to Trevor Murdoch.

Trevor Murdoch vs. Cody Rhodes

Ignore Lilian Garcia saying Lance Cade (at ringside) is in the match by mistake. Hardcore Holly is here too and Rhodes is sent to the apron to start, where he gets in a shoulder to the ribs. Murdoch breaks that up and takes him down for a chinlock as Lawler and JR make as many redneck jokes as they can. Rhodes fights up and hits a bulldog into a knee drop for two but Cade’s distraction fails. Murdoch misses a charge into the corner though and Rhodes grabs a sunset flip for the pin. Not much to this one but Rhodes wins again.

Tribute video to Fabulous Moolah. This includes a rundown of her career highlights, such as becoming the first woman to wrestle in Madison Square Garden. I guess she wrestled herself that night.

Jim Duggan/Super Crazy vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Before the match, Duggan and Crazy chant SI/HO over and over. Haas knocks Crazy over to start and hits a slam before handing it off to Benjamin. More slamming abounds as Duggan continues to play cheerleader on the apron. Benjamin knocks Duggan off the apron but Crazy grabs a rollup (with trunks) for the pin. Duggan never tagged in but he does pat Crazy on the head after the win.

Umaga/Randy Orton vs. D-Generation X

It’s a brawl on the floor to start with Orton being sent into the announcers’ table before being thrown inside. Umaga comes in to miss a sitdown splash on Michaels, allowing HHH to grab a surprisingly effective DDT. HHH gets knocked outside though and we take a break. Back with Umaga missing a charge in the corner, allowing the tag off to Orton. That’s fine with HHH, who drops Orton almost immediately.

Michaels comes back in for the usual comeback, including the forearm and top rope elbow. Umaga isn’t having that and runs Shawn over, allowing Orton to bring Umaga in for real. Some right hands keep Shawn down in the corner and it’s back to Orton for a dropkick. The circle stomp sets up the running Umaga splash and we’re off to the nerve hold.

The middle rope headbutt misses and an enziguri to the shoulder (not sure that’s how that works) allows the hot tag back to HHH. Everything breaks down and Umaga saves Orton from the Pedigree with the Spike, setting up the running hip attack in the corner. The RKO is countered with a shove into Umaga though and Shawn comes in for a quick superkick to pin Orton.

Rating: C+. Much like the other tag match, they played the formula here and it still works, as everyone involved can do this style rather well. Shawn vs. Orton II should be a good showdown at Survivor Series, while Umaga vs. HHH at least has the team format to keep things a little more fresh. The DX reunion was good for a night, but I don’t need to see it again going forward.

Overall Rating: D+. I’m not sure what this show was but it didn’t exactly work. Maybe it is due to Survivor Series coming up so soon, but this felt like a weird side trip rather than a show designed to help set up the pay per view. There were so many short matches that didn’t add much and it was a weird night all around. The DX reunion was fun but the Austin cameo fell pretty flat, leaving this as a not very appealing two hours. Much more strange than good this week and that isn’t a positive thing.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 29, 2007
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Cyber Sunday and on the way to Survivor Series, which means things can get a bit more back to normal around here. The big Raw story was that Randy Orton retained the WWE Title over Shawn Michaels after getting himself disqualified, which means we are probably heading for a rematch. Let’s get to it.

Here is Cyber Sunday if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Divas Battle Royal

Victoria, Kelly Kelly, Maria, Mickie James, Torrie Wilson, Kelly Kelly, Brooke, Melina, Jillian Hall, Michelle McCool

Most of the entrances are edited off of Peacock (music I’m assuming) and they’re all in Halloween costumes here. Layla (cop) is eliminated first as Victoria rolls wild in her sumo (read as fat) suit. The bottom rope Banzai drop crushes Brooke (jungle girl) to get rid of her and Michelle tosses Jillian (Brittney Spears), only to have Melina eliminate Michelle (Eve).

Melina (showgirl) and Mickie (Native American warrior princess) go to the apron with Melina eliminating both of them at once. Torrie Wilson uses her football helmet to run Victoria over as JR tries to find out if Victoria is in her suit alone. Kelly (gangsta) dumps out both Torrie (Philadelphia Eagle) and Victoria for the win.

Rating: D. What were you really expecting here? There was no reason for the match to take place other than to have the women out there in their outfits, which we had seen the night before at the pay per view. Kelly winning is a bit of a surprise, but she is the kind of woman that WWE would love to push to the moon if she can do anything in the ring at the moment.

Post match Beth Phoenix comes in to lay Kelly out.

We look at Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels from last night.

Here is Shawn Michaels for a chat. Shawn is thankful to everyone who voted for him last night but he didn’t win the WWE Title. He has heard a lot of people talking about their grapefruits, but HBShizzle is going to be honest with you: you have to have pinpoint accuracy to hit his. What maters is that he won the match though, and now he his getting a rematch. He wants it tonight, but here is Vince McMahon to interrupt.

McMahon knows that people want to see him be the champion again and Vince seems to like the idea too. He knows what Shawn really wants is revenge though because, despite that Bible reading, Shawn is a rotten man. Shawn admits that he spent four years wanting revenge, which he swore he would never do when he went home in 2002.

Now he wants to hurt Randy Orton and take him out, so does he have his rematch or not? Vince says Survivor Series is an appropriate name, and says the match is on without saying what he means. Then Shawn teases a superkick to Vince, who falls down in fear. Kind of an odd segment but more to come I’m sure.

You can vote for the Diva Search winners!

Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Holly and Shelton start things off with Benjamin taking him down for some shots to the head. It’s off to Haas, who gets chopped rather loudly before the villains take over again without much trouble. Holly gets in another shot though and the hot tag brings in Cody, who comes in off the top with a clothesline. Cody blocks Haas’ DDT and hits one of his own for the fast pin. Holly still doesn’t seem convinced.

Candice Michelle has broken her collar bone in a horrific injury. It is so bad that we look at it again just so you don’t forget about the whole thing.

Beth Phoenix cuts off Todd Grisham and says she has no regrets over what she did to Candice Michelle last week. Then this week, the Divas were out there in their costumes because no one takes this stuff seriously. Candice can go back in Wisconsin, knowing that she was destroyed by the Glamazon.

Trevor Murdoch is reading the 500th issue of WWE Magazine when Mickie James comes up. She thanks him for not letting Lance Cade clothesline her last week, but Murdoch doesn’t like seeing an innocent girl get hurt. Mickie: “I’m not that innocent.” Cade comes up and, after Mickie leaves, gets on Murdoch for not having his head in the game.

William Regal is in Vince McMahon’s office and recaps Vince’s issues with HHH and Shawn Michaels. Vince says his issues with HHH is personal, which brings him to Hornswoggle. Regal brings Hornswoggle in and leaves Vince to talk about how he hasn’t been around Hornswoggle enough. Tonight, Hornswoggle has to face Coach and Vince wants the family honor upheld. Hornswoggle needs to learn how to deal with victory, because it is his family’s birthright. If he is a McMahon, he needs to start to hate and he needs to start tonight. Hornswoggle starts grunting and shouts as he runs off.

SAVE US!

Hornswoggle vs. Jonathan Coachman

Hold on though as we need a guest referee, which brings out Mick Foley. Coach charges but Foley gets in his way, allowing Hornswoggle to run around a bit. Hornswoggle goes to the leg but Coach grabs him by the beard. That’s broken up as well and Hornswoggle knocks him down, only to miss the bottom rope elbow. Coach hits Foley out of frustration and grabs a chair, only to have Foley knock him down. Hornswoggle has his own Mr. Socko and grabs Coach between the leg, allowing Foley to add a clothesline. The Tadpole Splash finishes for Hornswoggle.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t good but at the end of the day, what are you expecting here? They played up the comedy and had Foley here to even things up a bit. You don’t need to do anything beyond the obvious here and it was perfectly fine, even if the match was barely there aside from the comedy stuff.

HHH, in a rather hideous shirt, is almost depressed by Todd Grisham’s pep talk before the handicap match against Umaga and Randy Orton tonight. The odds are against him but he has an ace up his sleeve, so if he goes down, they’re coming with him. They’re two of the worst in the game, but he is the Game.

Lance Cade vs. Paul London

Trevor Murdoch and Brian Kendrick are here too. London hits a quick crossbody for two but gets caught in a belly to back suplex. Cade sends him to the apron, with London coming back in with a springboard crossbody. A Murdoch distraction lets Cade hit his sitout spinebuster for the fast pin.

Post match the Highlanders come in and beat down London and Kendrick before glaring at Cade and Murdoch.

Jeff Hardy/DH Smith vs. Carlito/Mr. Kennedy

Smith is being thrown into the deep pretty quickly. Hardy and Kennedy get things going with Kennedy grabbing a headlock. That earns him a heck of a clothesline but Kennedy pulls Hardy into the corner so Carlito can come in. Some shoulders to the ribs don’t do much for Carlito as Hardy kicks him down and grabs his leg trap cradle for two. Smith comes in and gets chopped in the corner, only to come back with a clothesline to send Carlito outside. Kennedy joins him thanks to Hardy and the good guys pose as we take a break.

Back with Smith fighting out of an Indian Deathlock but getting pulled back into the corner so Kennedy can stay on the leg. Kennedy draws in Hardy to get in a few more leg shots because he knows how to villain. Smith manages an enziguri though and the hot tag brings Hardy in to start cleaning house. The Whisper in the Wind gets two on Carlito with Kennedy having to make the save. Smith drops Kennedy though and it’s the Twist of Fate into the Swanton to finish Carlito.

Rating: C. Pretty basic tag formula here but they have thrown Smith straight into the middle of the midcard and he hasn’t looked bad so far. Granted I don’t know how far you’re going to go with the name DH Smith but playing into the British Bulldog relation and then giving him some wins is a good way to start. Now do something with it, as you can always use some fresh blood.

Here is Santino Marella for a chat. He wants to make a formal complaint to the WWE travel department, who screwed up and prevented him from showing up and giving Steve Austin a piece of his mind. At least his in-flight movie wasn’t the Condemned! Cue Steve Austin…..’s music, as Marella pops up on screen doing an Austin impression and offering to beat up Marella with a can of the a** whip.

Cue Maria to say that Austin (originally described as “he”, prompting Santino to tell her to not use pronouns) is going to be here next week (which receives NO reaction in an odd moment). Marella accuses her of being on internet chat sites again, because the only place you’ll see Austin is on the cover of the Condemned in the discount bin at the gas station.

Here are the Diva Search finalists. Eve wins and is rather happy. Wouldn’t it have made more sense to have this on a show about how the viewers had control?

SAVE US, now with “19_LAUNCH” and “BREAK THE CODE” visible.

Randy Orton/Umaga vs. HHH

Non-title. HHH and Umaga start things off but an Orton distraction means HHH has to split his time. A jumping clothesline drops Umaga but he’s right back with some right hands in the corner. Umaga hits the Samoan drop on HHH and the double teaming is on….so here is Shawn Michaels for the DQ and the save.

HHH and Shawn clean house, likely setting up a tag match next week.

We cut to Vince McMahon and William Regal in the back, with Vince saying DX is back next week for one night only.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a lame way to come off a pretty good pay per view, though Survivor Series in just a few weeks should be an upgrade. There wasn’t much to see on the show, as they didn’t have anything noteworthy in the ring and McMahon going after HHH feels a bit tired. Next week looks stacked though so maybe this is just a bad one off week. At least I hope it is.

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Cyber Sunday 2007
Date: October 28, 2007
Location: Verizon Center, Washington DC
Attendance: 10,094
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Joey Styles

This show can’t come fast enough, as the build hasn’t exactly been great. The good thing is there are enough interesting matches on the show and some of the stipulations could work out. The voting is enough of a hook to make the show, which includes Randy Orton defending the Raw World Title against someone and Batista vs. Undertaker with a referee to be determined, work. Let’s get to it.

The opening video has an election theme, as the wrestlers have been trying to gain the fans’ votes. Giving the fans a direct say is always a good idea.

Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay

Stretcher Match – 40%
No Disqualification Match – 36%
Shillelagh On A Pole Match – 24%

There is a stretcher at ringside and you have to put your opponent on it and move over a line. Finlay starts fast by getting Rey into the corner and sending him shoulder first into the post. A toss sends Rey under the ropes and onto the stretcher before Finlay drops him ribs first onto it again. It’s way too early to send Rey over the line though so he heads back inside for a change.

A headscissors takes Finlay down and a basement dropkick staggers him again, meaning it’s time to go outside again. Finlay fights off of the stretcher though and kicks Rey in the chest…before going up the pole that has the Shillelagh in case the other stipulation was picked. Rey powerbombs him out of the corner and grabs the Shillelagh himself but Finlay takes it away and starts going after Rey’s knee.

Finlay rams the stretcher into Rey, who manages a 619 on the apron to send Finlay onto the stretcher. A splash is almost enough to get him over the line but the stretcher gets caught on a TV cord. With that out of the way, a flapjack onto the stretcher is enough to give Rey the win.

Rating: C+. The stretcher was a bit of a weird way to go but it was a unique enough of a way to go. These two have had a nice feud over the last few weeks and Mysterio gets a win to keep him in the thing. Finlay continues to be a perfectly solid midcard villain and he should be able to keep things going for a pretty long while to come.

Matt Hardy vs. MVP is off the card because Matt busted his head WAY open on Smackdown. He looks like he was in a car crash as MVP comes in to offer condolences. Matt says that MVP gets to face someone the fans pick for the US Title, with the options being Mark Henry, Great Khali or Kane. MVP’s panicked face is great as he’s off to talk to Vickie Guerrero about this.

JBL begs fans to vote for him to referee the main event.

We see the Divas in their Halloween costumes, including

Maria (cat)
Victoria (sumo wrestler, with Kenny Dykstra as Mr. Fuji, setting up the Ron Simmons cameo)

More on this later I’m assuming.

ECW World Title: CM Punk vs. ???

The Miz – 39%
John Morrison – 33%
Big Daddy V – 28%

That’s about as expected, as ECW had been pushing Miz as the challenger and he’s a fresh match. Punk takes him down with a front facelock to start before taking him down into a headlock. Miz reverses into a headscissors and they get up to their feet for a slugout. There’s a slingshot suplex to give Punk two but Miz gets in a few shots of his own. Punk catches him on top, only to get pulled down for a crash.

The running corner clothesline gets two and Miz grabs a cravate. The fans tell Miz that he can’t wrestle and Punk comes back with a suplex for two. Miz is right back with a neck snap across the top and we hit the chinlock. With that not working, Miz goes up but Punk runs the corner for a super armdrag. The springboard clothesline gives Punk two and, after avoiding a running knee, he hits the GTS to retain the title.

Rating: C. I like Miz getting the shot but this was a TV match and nothing more. Miz isn’t ready to take the title but it is a nice way for him to get his feet wet on a higher stage. He has done well so far and getting a pay per view title match of his own shows you what he might be capable of doing. Punk needs some bigger challengers soon though, and this was another stop gap.

More costumes!

Mickie James (Native American)
Torrie Wilson (Washington football player)

We recap the Raw World Title situation. Randy Orton is the champion but needs a challenger. The options include Jeff Hardy, Mr. Kennedy and Shawn Michaels and here are the results:

Shawn Michaels – 59%
Jeff Hardy – 31%
Mr. Kennedy – 10%

Therefore, we need a bonus match.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title. Feeling out process to start with Kennedy driving him into the corner but Hardy walks the corner with a headlock takeover. That’s reversed into one from Kennedy but Hardy sends him outside and hits the big dive off the top. Back in and Hardy rains down right hands in the corner but Kennedy knocks him outside. A running boot to the head gets two on Hardy on the way back in and we hit the neck crank.

There’s a DDT for two on Hardy and we hit the chinlock. With that let go, Kennedy goes up top but gets super hurricanranaed back down. Jeff hits a heck of a clothesline into the Sling Blade for two. The Whisper in the Wind gets the same but the slingshot kick in the corner misses and Kennedy steals the pin.

Rating: C+. That was a rather weird ending as Kennedy pinned him clean off the miss and Hardy wasn’t even close to kickout out. If they were working a fake injury there, Hardy sold it very well as he looked a bit stunned when he hit the mat. The match felt like it could have been on any given Raw, though it worked out pretty well as a bonus match, odd ending aside.

Michael Cole votes for Kane to face MVP.

More Halloween costumes, with Michelle McCool as Eve from the Garden of Eden and Melina as a Las Vegas showgirl.

Mick Foley is in the back to talk about possibly being the guest referee tonight but JBL cuts him off. JBL goes on a rant about how Foley is just here to sell some book so we see a very pro-JBL/anti-Austin/Foley campaign style video. After the video, Foley says it’s interesting that he is between Fatheads (big wall decorations) of Batista and Undertaker when JBL is the biggest fathead around. Foley has been a referee before and he can do it again.

US Title: MVP vs. ???

Kane – 67%
Great Khali – 24%
Mark Henry – 9%

Kane is challenging and that is a pretty definitive pick. MVP bails to the floor to start and asks for an early time out. Back in and MVP slugs away but gets dropped with a single shot to the face. A big boot into the side slam gives Kane two but MVP goes after Kane’s bad ribs to take over.

Some stomping to the ribs set up the running boot in the corner for two and we hit the abdominal stretch on the mat. Kane fights up and goes after MVP’s ribs for a change, including standing on them in the corner. A backbreaker sets up a quickly released abdominal stretch on MVP before Kane bends the ribs around the post. That’s enough for MVP who takes the countout to retain.

Rating: C-. Speaking of TV matches, they didn’t even have a good one here, as Kane mauled him for the most part and then won via countout, likely setting up a rematch. This was also rather short, with the two of them not having time to get very far. MVP escapes to continue holding both titles though and that is the right way to go in the long term.

SAVE US!

Back to the Halloween costumes, with Layla as a cop and Kelly Kelly as a gangsta (her term).

Randy Orton says be careful what you wish for. He sends us to a recap video of the bad things he has done to Shawn Michaels, including putting him on the shelf.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Orton is defending and we get started after some fairly lengthy referee’s directions. Shawn starts fast with a knee to the ribs and some chops to send Orton to the floor. That means a slingshot flip dive to drop Orton again and they head back inside to slug it out. Orton takes him down and grabs a front facelock but gets sent shoulder first into the post to break that up.

That means it’s time to start going after Orton’s arm, including a short armscissors. With that broken up, Shawn goes to the headlock with the arm trapped but Orton fights up and drops him onto the barricade. Back in and Orton hits the dropkick, setting up the rear naked choke.

With that broken up, Michaels reverses a belly to back suplex into a crossbody for two. The backbreaker gives Orton two more though and Shawn is down again. The superplex is broken up with some right hands and Shawn…misses the top rope elbow. Since it’s Shawn, he chops his way out of trouble and hits the running forearm into the nip up. Now the top rope elbow can connect but Shawn’s superkick is cut off by a low blow for the DQ

Rating: B-. While a better match, this was rather similar to MVP vs. Kane, as it felt designed to set up something else down the line. Orton wasn’t about to lose the title so soon but they also didn’t want to have Shawn lost on his first pay per view match back. That left this as about the only choice and it came off well, as the two of them are talented enough to make anything work in any situation.

Post match Orton loads up the Punk but Shawn is back up with the superkick to leave Orton laying (after a great sell as he staggers a bit and then collapses).

Back to the costumes, with Brooke as a jungle girl and Jillian Hall as Brittney Spears.

We recap HHH vs. Umaga, with Umaga serving as HHH has been mocking Vince McMahon over being Hornswoggle’s father. Therefore it is time for some violence, with the fans getting to pick the stipulation. This time though, there are three viable options and it could go any way.

HHH vs. Umaga

Street Fight – 57%
Steel Cage – 26%
First Blood – 17%

I’m a bit surprised it’s that one sided. HHH goes straight for him in the aisle and they fight on the keyboard set. The Samoan drop is escaped so HHH spears him through part of the set. They fight into the crowd with HHH being knocked down the steps but being able to backdrop Umaga over the barricade.

Some right hands inside stagger Umaga and a trashcan shot to the head gives HHH two. Now the Samoan drop can connect and Umaga starts in on the ribs. It’s back to the floor with HHH being sent into the steps, setting up the bearhug back inside. With that not working, Umaga hits the running hip attack in the corner for two so the referee gets scared out to the floor.

Umaga grabs a chair but HHH uses it to hit him low. A DDT onto the chair gives HHH two but Umaga plants him with the swinging Rock Bottom. Umaga starts loading up a bunch of announcers’ tables but HHH knocks him over them to get the brawling going again. That means HHH is laid out on the table for a running splash from one table and through another. The top rope splash misses back inside though and HHH grabs the sledgehammer. After ducking the Samoan Spike, the sledgehammer to the head sets up the Pedigree to finish Umaga.

Rating: B. Match of the night here so far, as HHH got to slay the dragon, albeit after the dragon put up a heck of a fight. That is where Umaga plays a rather important role, as he is able to do this against almost anyone. The fact that he is in there against HHH makes it better, as he certainly knows how to do this kind of thing. Odds are they probably did this at a few dozen house shows so they had the practice down too. Good fight.

Halloween costume results! JR: “Let’s just cancel the whole thing.”

Mickie James – 21%
Kelly Kelly – 17%
Torrie Wilson – 15%
Melina – 12%
Maria – 12%
Layla – 7%
Jillian Hall – 5%
Victoria – 4%
Brooke – 4%
Michelle McCool – 3%

We recap Batista vs. Undertaker, which is one of the bigger and better feuds in recent years. They have gone back and forth over a good chunk of the year (without Batista actually being able to beat him) and now it is time for their latest round. That means it’s time for a special guest referee….but first we need to hear about 13 million people voting. We also need to hear from JBL, who knows everyone has voted for him. Cue Mick Foley for the results:

Steve Austin – 79%
Mick Foley – 11%
John Bradshaw Layfield – 10%

JBL and Foley get in a brawl but here’s Austin too. JBL beats Austin down in the corner but the Clothesline From JBL is cut off with the Stunner and does his posing so we can get it out of the fans’ systems.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is challenging and Steve Austin is guest referee. Batista misses the spear at the bell so he tries a headlock, which is broken up in a hurry. Another headlock is countered into a big boot to give Undertaker two and he sends Batista’s arm into the buckle. Batista fights back and hits a few shoulders to the ribs in the corner. That’s broken up and Undertaker grabs a triangle choke before taking him to the apron for the big boot to the side of the head.

The arm is wrapped around the top rope again but Undertaker misses a running big boot to put him down again. They head outside with Undertaker being sent into various hard objects, only to come back with his jumping clothesline. Old School is broken up and Undertaker misses another running boot in the corner, sending him crashing to the floor. Back in and Undertaker drops onto Undertaker’s back a few times for two and they’re already on the outside again.

The apron legdrop has Batista in more trouble and Snake Eyes makes it worse. The big boot is cut off with Batista’s big clothesline for two as this is all high impact so far. Undertaker drives him into the corner to break up the Batista Bomb though and the bad arm is sent into the post. Batista manages a spinebuster for a delayed two but Undertaker pulls him into the triangle choke.

In a smart move, Batista stacks him up for two and Undertaker has to let go. The chokeslam gives Undertaker two but the Tombstone is escaped, allowing Batista to hit a spear for two of his own. Batista hammers away but gets caught in the Last Ride for another close two. Another spinebuster gives Batista another two..,and Undertaker sits up, scaring the heck out of Batista. The Batista Bomb is only good for two and Batista is shocked all over again. One more Batista Bomb finally puts Undertaker away to retain the title.

Rating: B. This is another one of those pairings that is going to work no matter what. Batista finally gets to beat Undertaker and that is what he needed to do at some point, especially if they are going to fight again someday. They followed their standard formula here of letting both guys beat each other up for a long time and it still works. Austin was a complete non-factor here, which was rather nice for a change.

Overall Rating: B+. Despite a not great build with the campaigning stuff, this was a pretty sweet show with one good match after another. There might not be a classic on the card but having a string of pay per view quality stuff mixed in with some solid TV level matches made for a good three hours. They got this right, though it is something that could only work once a year or so.

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