Summerslam 2013
Date: August 18, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,739
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s a double main event tonight with a pair of smaller guys vs. big powerhouses with CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar and Daniel Bryan challenging John Cena for the World Title. This is remembered as one of the best shows in a very long time for WWE and it should be interesting to see how well it holds up. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: United States Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Rob Van Dam

Ambrose is defending and there’s no Shield with him to start. Some standing switches go nowhere and Ambrose continues to look moderately displeased by the whole thing at worst. Rob is right back up with a spinning kick to the chest, meaning he can hit those finger pokes. You don’t do that to Ambrose, who chops away in the corner and stops a charging Rob with a kick to the face.

The neck crank goes on, followed by a running dropkick against the ropes to keep Rob in trouble. It’s back to the chinlock with the microphones picking up the spot calling. Rob is right back up with a kick to the face and the split legged moonsault out of the corner for two. A kick to the head breaks up the original Dirty Deeds (headlock driver) but here are Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins. That brings out Mark Henry and Big Show and we take a break. Back with everyone standing at ringside and Dean dropping an elbow for two. The ECW chants bring Rob back to life but Dean sends him outside.

That means a staredown between the four on the floor with Rob managing a suplex on Dean. The spinning kick to the back on the apron has Dean in even more trouble and it’s a top rope cannonball for two back inside. Dean is right back with a spinebuster for two of his own but misses his top rope elbow. Rob has to go after Rollins instead of trying the Five Star so he kicks Dean down again. The Five Star connects but Roman Reigns comes in with a spear for the DQ at 13:40.

Rating: B-. This worked rather well and is one of Van Dam’s last good matches either in WWE or anywhere for that matter. He looked like his old self here and made Ambrose look good, even when he got the DQ win. This was still before Shield had reached their peak and they were far better as a team anyway. It got the crowd going and happened to be a good match in the process. Not bad for the Kickoff.

Here’s the Miz as your host for the evening. His task at the moment: tell us about the main events we already know. How TNA of him. We’re about to hear our first match but Fandango and Summer Rae cut him off with some dancing. Miz: “Really? Really? WELCOME TO SUMMERSLAM!”

The opening video focuses on Los Angeles and how big things happen here. Like Summerslam. That’s a nice motif and it moves into the double main event, which is indeed sounding great. Future note: the music during this video would become Akira Tozawa’s theme (not sure if that’s a Network edit or not).

Dig that pyro. Seriously with all the money they have, we can only get it at Wrestlemania and the Saudi shows?

Jojo from Total Divas sings the National Anthem. This was a plot point on Total Divas because that she needed to stretch for plot points.

Kane vs. Bray Wyatt

This is a Ring of Fire match, meaning an Inferno match with pins and submissions only. It’s also Bray’s in-ring debut, which is almost weird to imagine. Harper and Rowan are in Wyatt’s corner, as tends to be the case. The bell rings and the flames come up, going all of six inches high. Kane slugs away to start and the flames do go higher as someone lands on the mat.

Harper and Rowan get closer to the ring and the flames go WAY up to make things look a lot better. Kane hits a suplex to pop the flames again and avoids a big boot, sending Bray close to the fire. Bray’s running splash in the corner connects and he hammers away as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled so far. Back up and Kane sends him into the corner and the side slam makes the flames go up again. The chokeslam is broken up and Harper tries to throw in a kendo stick but the flames cut it off.

Cue the fireman to put the stick out, allowing Kane to hit the chokeslam. Rowan grabs the fire extinguisher to try and put out the flames but they come right back up as Kane hits another chokeslam. For some reason there’s no cover so Kane hits a third chokeslam, meaning it’s Tombstone time. Hold on again though as Harper and Rowan put a blanket over the flames and get in for the beatdown. The fans want Undertaker but settle for Sister Abigail to finish Kane at 7:49.

Rating: F. Well that was dumb. You have Wyatt getting destroyed until the goons saved him, the flames not lasting seven minutes before someone figured a way around them, and the match being dreadful until the ending. Pick two of them and you can figure out what was wrong with this one. It was a good idea on paper but the execution was a nightmare, which sums up Wyatt’s whole career.

Post match Wyatt puts on his hat and sits in the rocking chair as Harper and Rowan put Kane’s head on the steps. They pick up the other steps and crush his head for the big knockout, which looked better than most of the match. Harper and Rowan carry Kane out.

The Kickoff Show panel talks about the Wyatt Family.

On the Kickoff Show, Paul Heyman talked about how the real story of David vs. Goliath is that Goliath took the best shot and then destroyed David. Heyman has gotten both sides to agree that tonight can be No DQ so Lesnar can finish Punk for good.

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Sandow is Mr. Money in the Bank and cost Cody the briefcase to break up their team. Before the match, Sandow talks about how there have been great pairings throughout literary history, with each pair having a lackey. Tonight, Sandow proves that he was the leader by sending Cody back to the land of clowns. Cody starts fast and hammers away before getting two off a backdrop. Sandow is right back with a suplex and a double arm crank as this is already feeling like a TV match.

An early Cross Rhodes attempt is blocked and Sandow hits the Russian legsweep into the wind-up elbow for two. Something like Edge’s Edgecation goes on but Cody kicks away without much effort. Cody catches him on top with a MuscleBuster of all things and that gets the fans into things for a change. A missile dropkick gives Cody two more and the Disaster Kick knocks Sandow silly for another two. Cody misses a charge into the post to give Sandow two but Cody snaps off Cross Rhodes for the pin at 6:39.

Rating: D. This was a case where Cody should have won the briefcase and moved up to the World Title scene but instead they went with Sandow and the whole thing flopped because no one bought him in that spot. Maybe they were planning on having Cody take the briefcase from him, but the damage was already done. It’s a case of putting too much thought into things as WWE screwed up something else.

We recap Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio for the Smackdown World Title. Alberto had put Christian on the shelf late last year and now Christian is the challenger of the month. Actually saying this is recapping Christian vs. Alberto is a little misleading as Alberto is neither seen nor mentioned in the video. I know he’s not interesting but come on now.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Alberto is defending. They circle each other a few times until a loud kick to the leg has Christian in trouble. A headlock doesn’t do much for the champ as Christian comes back up with a right hand and a toss over the ropes. Back in and Christian gets caught on top for the running enziguri into the running kicks to the chest. It’s time to go to the arm, as tends to be Del Rio’s style.

The armbar doesn’t last long so Del Rio throws him into the air for the big crash to the mat. A top rope double stomp to the arm gets two but Del Rio misses a charge and goes crashing out to the floor. That lets Christian hit a dive off the top and they’re both down. Back in and Del Rio goes right back to the arm, because it’s a plan that works well. He deviates from said plan by going up and diving into raised boots though, allowing Christian to hammer away in the corner.

The high crossbody gets two on the champ but the Killswitch is countered into a Backstabber. Another running enziguri in the corner rocks Christian for two more but he’s fine enough to hit a middle rope elbow to the jaw. A super hurricanrana gives Christian another two and it’s time for the spear.

Since the idea of selling Christian’s spear makes anyone cringe, Del Rio dropkicks him in the face for two instead. There’s a low superkick for another two, with the fans dubbing this awesome. Eh…..it’s close but I don’t know about that. Christian hits the spear out of nowhere but the arm is banged up, allowing Del Rio to slap on the armbreaker for the tap at 12:29.

Rating: B. I can’t go all the way to awesome but this was a rather fun match with Christian throwing everything he had. That being said, I wasn’t buying a lot of the near falls as Christian never hit the Killswitch and Del Rio never won with anything but the armbreaker. Christian’s career was more or less done at this point, as he would be put out of action again in a few months and have his last comeback with his final match in March.

Post match Del Rio says he’ll be the hero Los Angeles needs. Someone get this man a big bus!

Video on Summerslam Axxess earlier in the day, complete with a women’s tag match including Marina Menunos.

Maria is here and talks about the Bella Twins freaking out about Maria saying Natalya did well on Total Divas. Cue Fandango and Summer Rae to dance but Maria and Miz do just the same, leaving Fandango and Summer looking annoyed.

Natalya vs. Brie Bella

Cameron, Naomi, Eva Marie and Nikki Bella are here because this is the Total Divas match of the night. It’s weird seeing Natalya in regular gear instead of the leather she’s worn for years now. You can tell this is serious as they exchanged SLAPS on Raw. They fight over failed hiptoss attempts to start and it’s time for another slapoff. Brie has to bail to the floor to avoid the Sharpshooter so Nikki and Eva get in some cheating to take Natalya to the floor. The fans chant for JBL instead of this mess before quickly shifting over to the other announcers. Or maybe it’s an old Jerry Graham fan club.

Brie grabs the chinlock as the fans want tables. Egads the idea of the Total Divas crew trying to do something that complicated. The chinlock goes on again because that’s their best idea at the moment. Natalya fights out without much trouble but the Sharpshooter is countered with a rollup into the corner. The other four get in a fight on the floor and it’s a THIRD CHINLOCK in less than five minutes. Natalya breaks it up and, with the fans saying they want Ryder, slaps on the Sharpshooter for the win at 5:21.

Rating: D-. Any match that involves three chinlocks in less than five minutes is pretty self explanatory. There was no story here other than they were arguing about a reality show and that’s enough to get us here. The wrestling was pretty awful with the talented Natalya not being good enough to carry Brie. At least it was short, but this really had no business being on Summerslam.

Ryback, currently a bully, yells at catering about the soup being cold. It’s supposed to be, which Ryback knew of course. The soup goes down the chef’s shirt and then over his head. Ryback: “Feed me moron.” Make sure you catch his podcast so he can tell you how he came up with that entire idea and how it would have been a classic if WWE supported him.

We recap CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar. Punk was about to win Money in the Bank but Paul Heyman turned on him because Punk was nothing without him. Heyman brought Lesnar back in to destroy Punk, who had been Heyman’s friend and client for a long time. It’s a pretty easy tagline: The Best vs. The Beast. This was better than the UFC version: Former UFC Heavyweight Champion vs. The Miserable Failure.

CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar

No DQ. I know I say this a lot, but a fired up Lesnar is a terrifying human being. Punk shrugs off the shoulders in the corner to start so Lesnar just does them again. The CM PUNK chants begin and you can feel the energy in this one. A heck of a beal across the ring rocks Punk and it’s time for some choking in the corner. Punk manages a kick to the head and Lesnar is rocked, followed by some running knees to put him outside.

The suicide dive connects as I can’t help but look for the baseball sized growth on his back (it’s just hard not to). Punk tries the steps but Brock knocks them right back into him without much effort. Lesnar posts himself though and Punk scores with a top rope dive to stagger him again. The clothesline off the announcers’ table connects as well but Punk makes the mistake of going after Heyman. Lesnar LAUNCHES him over the table and Cole is declaring this one over already.

Back in and Punk starts kicking at the leg so Lesnar hits him in the face (don’t make it complicated). The bearhug stays on the ribs as you can’t fault Lesnar’s plan. Punk’s escape plan: hit Lesnar in the face. See? He’s learning too. Lesnar goes right back to the ribs and the slow pace continues. Another bearhug goes on and gets broken up by more shots to the face. Punk kicks him in the ribs and goes up, only to dive into a World’s Strongest Slam (giving us a great OH DANG IT face).

Some backbreakers get two as Punk’s ribs are being destroyed and we hit the chinlock. Punk bites the ear to escape and starts striking away, setting up a top rope knee to the face to FINALLY put Lesnar down. Some running knees in the corner connect and a kick to the head sets up the Macho Elbow (almost a splash) for a hot two. The GTS and F5 are both countered so Punk kicks him in the head again.

Another GTS attempt is countered into the Kimura but that’s reversed into a triangle choke. You just don’t do that to a power guy like Lesnar though, as he turns it over into a powerbomb….which doesn’t break anything. Lesnar powers up again though, this time into a heck of a running powerbomb for the real break. The delayed cover gets two and a ticked off Lesnar rolls some suplexes for two more.

Lesnar takes his sweet time going outside so Punk can get up top for a dive. That’s blocked by a raised chair, but Punk still drives it into Lesnar at the same time. That means Punk can beat the heck out of Lesnar with the chair and it’s Punk getting fired up this time. Back in and Punk hits him low, meaning it’s time to go up top for the Macho Elbow with the chair. Lesnar can’t get up (that’s a rare shot) so Punk hits him again, leaving Heyman to take the chair.

Brock is back up and grabs the F5 but Punk grabs Heyman’s tie for the block. Punk slips out and hits the GTS with Heyman having to make a save. The chase is on and Punk runs into the F5, which is countered into a DDT for two. The Anaconda Vice goes on, but since Lesnar’s legs aren’t kicking you know it’s not a finish. Heyman tries to come in with a chair….but Punk steps onto it. A right hand drops Heyman and Punk puts him in the Vice (like an idiot). Lesnar gets in the chair shot to Punk and the F5 onto the chair is good for the pin at 25:17.

Rating: A. Oh I loved this one all over again. The one part holding it back was Heyman getting involved once too often and Punk getting stupid by putting him in the Vice (he’s way too smart to get that caught up no matter what). Other than that, this was an incredible display of the underdog (who happens to be a multiple time World Champion) going after the unbeatable monster and getting dangerously close to stopping him. I was getting into the near falls here and that says a lot given that I knew how it was ending. Awesome stuff and the blueprint for how to have a smaller guy fight Lesnar.

Punk gets the big hero’s sendoff in what would be his last great match.

A fan took a Mark Henry splash for Summerslam tickets. I’d do it too. The fan and his friends will be ringside for the next match.

Dolph Ziggler/Kaitlyn vs. Big E. Langston/AJ Lee

Langston and Lee turned on Ziggler so he got Kaitlyn, who lost the Divas Title to AJ, on his side for this. It’s so strange seeing Big E. as his old self. The guys start and Big E. goes straight to an abdominal stretch to take over. It’s already off to the women with AJ kicking Kaitlyn in the face for two. The sleeper on Kaitlyn’s back keeps things slow and we look at the fans eating Doritos (sponsor).

Kaitlyn fights up and brings Ziggler back in for the dropkick and rapid fire elbow drops to Big E. Since they’re just elbows, Big E. is right back up with an over the shoulder backbreaker for two with Kaitlyn making the save. A hard running shoulder in the corner only hits post, leaving Kaitlyn to hit a heck of a spear to AJ on the floor (AJ always sold that perfectly). Big E. is fine enough to try the Big Ending but Ziggler reverses into the Zig Zag for the pin at 6:45.

Rating: D+. This was nothing but a way to let the crowd calm down a bit after the instant classic and there’s nothing wrong with being in that spot. Kaitlyn’s spear looked awesome and it was always cool to see Big E. throwing humans around like they were toys. The Ziggler push was already dying around this time but somehow he would still be kicking around in big spots six years later. WWE is funny/stupid in that way.

Fandango interrupts Miz one more time so Miz lays him out. Cole: “It’s Fan-DOWN-Go.” No Cole, it isn’t.

The Kickoff Panel does what Kickoff Panels do. In this case that means picking Daniel Bryan to beat John Cena for the title.

We recap Cena vs. Bryan. Cena was given the chance to pick his challenger for this show and selected Bryan, who had worked his way up the card like few others in recent years. Management hated the idea because Bryan wasn’t good enough and tried to give Bryan a corporate makeover. Bryan refused to cut his beard though because he was going to be himself. HHH, who has seemed to favor Bryan, is guest referee. Bryan and Cena have played up the sports entertainment vs. wrestling deal, which is exactly what this match should be about.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is challenging with HHH as guest referee. Cena is also sporting a massive growth on his elbow, which was leaving him desperately in need of surgery because it’s the size of a baseball. Bryan isn’t getting the superstar pops yet but he’s cheered more than Cena. We get the Big Match Intros and I had forgotten about Bryan’s THE BEARD IS HERE shirt. Cena grabs a headlock to start as they have a ton of time here.

Bryan rolls out with no trouble and it’s an early standoff. Back up and Cena tries a test of strength, which is blocked by a bridge. The YES Lock attempt sends Cena bailing to the floor and he tells the doctor that his arm is fine. Back in and Bryan takes him down into the surfboard knee stomp as Cena is in way over his head with the wrestling. Therefore, he runs Bryan over for a knock to the floor because power is his best bet. Cena follows him outside but gets sent into the steps, only to manage a suplex off the steps to put Bryan down again.

Back in and Cena whips him hard into the corner as Bryan has no answer for the power game just yet. A Batista Bomb gives Cena two and the chinlock goes on. Bryan fights up and forearms away, setting up some kicks in the corner to put Cena on defense again. The running clothesline drops Cena and you can feel the fans’ energy picking up. The YES Kicks connect but, as usual, the big one misses and Cena fires off the shoulders.

Cena takes too long with the Shuffle though and gets kicked in the head, only to come back with the ProtoBomb. Now the Shuffle connects but the AA doesn’t work just yet. Instead Bryan hits a missile dropkick for two as they’re going back and forth very well here. Over ten minutes in, Bryan finally goes after the BIG FREAKING BULGE on his arm to take over. Cena tries the STF but Bryan kicks away and grabs one of his own. The rope is grabbed so Bryan hits a pair of German suplexes for a pair of twos.

Now it’s off to the YES Lock but Cena slips out, earning himself a guillotine choke instead. That’s countered with a backdrop into the corner (cool) and they’re both down for a second. Cena grabs the AA out of nowhere for two and they’re down a bit longer. With nothing working, Cena goes up but Bryan catches him with the running forearms to stagger him. Bryan superplexes him down but hangs on to stay up top for a cool visual.

The Swan Dive connects for two so Cena runs him over with the clothesline for two of his own. Cole mentions that HHH is referee, marking the most significant HHH portion of the match over twenty minutes in. Cena’s super AA is blocked by elbows to the head but Cena blocks the super hurricanrana. That means jumping down and dropping Bryan on top of his head in a botch I had forgotten about so the cringing is strong. The STF goes on with Bryan rolling over to take off some of the pressure.

Bryan manages to reverse into the YES Lock until Cena makes the rope. The running corner dropkicks have Cena in more trouble so he comes out of the corner with the hard clothesline to turn Bryan inside out. The slugout it on until they both hit flying shoulders for another double knockdown. Bryan wins the next slugout but the moonsault out of the corner is caught on Cena’s shoulders. That’s countered into a DDT and they’re both down again. Bryan tries a high crossbody but gets caught in the AA. It’s reversed again and Bryan kicks him in the head, setting up the debuting running knee for the pin and the title at 26:54.

Rating: A+. I go back and forth on which of the two big matches I like more and this time around I liked the story that much more. Bryan debuting the running knee to win is still one of my favorite things in a long time as it came out of nowhere and makes the move look devastating right off the bat. They had a great battle of styles here with both guys sticking with their respective specialties until Bryan broke down the machine through heart and determination, plus some awesome strikes. I had a great time with this one and it was one of the best matches I’ve seen in a good while.

Post match Cena hands him the title and leaves, likely straight to the hospital to get that thing out of his arm. The confetti falls and pyro goes off….and here’s Randy Orton with the other Money in the Bank briefcase, because we needed two of them. Orton does the big staredown, teases leaving, turns back around…and HHH lays Bryan out with the Pedigree to turn full heel.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is defending as well as out so Orton wins the title in eight seconds. There’s your major story over the next eight months and yes I still believe that Bryan winning the title at Wrestlemania was the plan all along (details to be determined).

Overall Rating: A-. This is one of those shows where the good is excellent and the rest just exists. That being said, with the two awesome main events and a rather good Del Rio vs. Christian match, you have a seven match card (leaving out the cash-in match) with three of them receiving some rather high praise. That’s about as good as you can get and it’s one of the better shows in recent memory. Yeah the other four matches range from bad to rather bad, but their times combined are about equal to the main event. Excellent show and worth your time (as in less than three hours) to see.

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: B-
2014 Redo: B-
2017 Redo: D+

2019 Redo: B-

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

Original: D+

2014 Redo: D

2017 Redo: F+

2019 Redo: F

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: C

2014 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C+

2019 Redo: D

Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Original: B+

2014 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B

2019 Redo: B

Brie Bella vs. Natalya

Original: F

2014 Redo: D-

2017 Redo: D-

2019 Redo: D-

Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk

Original: A+

2014 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

2019 Redo: A

Big E. Langston/AJ Lee vs. Dolph Ziggler/AJ Lee

Original: C-

2014 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: D+

2019 Redo: D+

Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

Original: A+

2014 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

2019 Redo: A+

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: N/A

2014 Redo: N/A

2017 Redo: N/A

2019 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: A-

2014 Redo: A

2017 Redo: A-

2019 Redo: A-

Was I in a really bad mood when I watched the Kickoff Show in 2017? And I’m all over the place with Cody vs. Sandow. Other than that, it’s pretty much the definitive set of ratings here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Summerslam 2011
Date: August 14, 2011
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17.404
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

This is a pretty big show with the blowoffs to two amazing feuds. The headlining act match is CM Punk vs. John Cena in a champion vs. champion match and the rematch to their masterpiece a month earlier. The match I was more excited about though was Christian vs. Randy Orton in one of the most underrated feuds in recent years. Let’s get to it.

The guitarist from Tool plays the national anthem.

The opening video talks about a domino effect, triggered by CM Punk winning the Raw World Title back in Chicago at Money in the Bank. As a result, Vince McMahon was stripped of power (for all of a few months) and John Cena became the other Raw World Champion. Tonight it’s champion vs. champion and nothing else is worth talking about.

Kofi Kingston/John Morrison/Rey Mysterio vs. Awesome Truth/Alberto Del Rio

Mysterio had beaten Miz to win the vacant Raw World Champion so Miz attacked him on Raw to help set this up. This is in during the full on Cole Love Miz period and the annoyance begins early. Before the match Miz complains about not being on the show but here’s R-Truth to complain about various letters. He doesn’t like spiders and Summerslam or Cee Lo Green performing so S and C are on his bad list. Cue Alberto (Mr. Raw Money in the Bank) to cut him off and we’re finally ready to go.

Morrison and Del Rio are both WAY over here but it’s Kofi vs. Miz to get things going. A double flapjack with Morrison helping out plants Miz and we get stereo nipups. Morrison gets all fired up to hammer on Truth because their partnership from a few years ago just means nothing to him. Everything breaks down for a bit with Morrison being knocked off the top rope to change control.

Miz grabs the chinlock but gets kicked in the head to knock him silly. It’s back to Kofi as things speed up and the SOS counters the Skull Crushing Finale for two. Everything breaks down for a bit and Miz hits a Diamond Cutter into a 1%er for two. I’m still not wild on that move but Kofi’s selling made it look better. The heels start taking turns on Kofi with Del Rio starting in on the arm and mocking Kofi’s clapping taunt.

Miz gets two off a clothesline as Cole sings his praises, even listing off Miz’s high school accolades. A double stomp allows the hot tag to Rey, who comes in to a roar. Mysterio starts cleaning house but Del Rio breaks up a double 619. Morrison dives onto Alberto and Truth takes the 619, followed by a top rope splash for the pin at 9:36.

Rating: B-. Take six guys and give them ten minutes to have a fun opener. I like a good six man tag and it can accomplish multiple goals in a short span. For some reason though WWE feels that the only kinds of matches you can have are singles, regular tags and triple threats so we don’t get enough of something like this. If nothing else it gave the fans a lot to cheer about in a short time, meaning they’re ready to go early on. Well done indeed.

Executive Vice President of Talent Relations Johnny Ace (you get tired just listing his job title) wants CM Punk to publicly apologize for embarrassing him on Monday. Punk says he’s sorry and offers a big grin but he turns around to see Stephanie. The champ insults the men in her life but she doesn’t seem phased. Stephanie: “But what would I know? I’m just Vince McMahon’s clueless daughter.” Punk: “Yeah pretty much.” Stephanie offers a handshake for luck but Punk says no because he knows where that hand has been. WHY CAN NO ONE BURN STEPHANIE LIKE THIS TODAY???

We recap Mark Henry vs. Sheamus. This was during Henry’s rampage over everyone in his path and his Hall of Pain period. No one was left for him to beat so Sheamus, a heel at the time, came out and simply said “I’ll fight him.” I still really like that line as it sums up everything and gives you a reason to like Sheamus in two seconds. Simple, yet effective.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

Henry shoves him around to start but Sheamus comes back with knees to the ribs and forearms to the back. The Irish Curse attempt is easily shrugged away though and Sheamus is tossed outside. Back in and Henry does the running crotch attack to the back of Sheamus’ head, followed by a backbreaker for your run of the mill heel offense.

An over the shoulder backbreaker keeps Sheamus in trouble but Henry misses a Vader Bomb. That means it’s time for forearms to the chest but a double shoulder puts both guys down. Sheamus is up first and the Brogue Kick knocks Henry to the floor. Ever the not that bright good guy though, Sheamus goes out after him and gets driven though the barricade for the countout at 9:22.

Rating: C+. I like that finish a lot as they made Sheamus look like a real threat with the Brogue Kick and then didn’t have him get pinned. The important thing here though was Henry looking unstoppable as he was on the way to the World Title soon after this. Smart booking here and everyone comes out looking like they should.

Christian has an insurance policy for his match against Randy Orton. It’s going to be a summer blockbuster and he’ll be like Harry Potter. Orton on the other hand will be like Cowboys and Aliens: an overrated, overproduced and overhyped flop. Hey now that movie was underrated.

Cee Lo Green does his mini concert for reasons I don’t understand. Bright Lights, Bigger City is catchy though. Some Divas come out to dance during Forget You.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

Kelly is defending in your standard Barbie vs. monster feud and has Eve Torres in her corner. Beth on the other hand has Natalya. Kelly goes straight after her to start and fires off some forearms in the corner to send Beth outside, followed by a middle rope cross body to the floor. Back in and Beth knocks her out of the corner to take over before we hit a quick chinlock. An over the shoulder backrbeaker (good move for Beth) has Kelly in trouble and Beth ties her in the Tree of Woe to make it even worse. Kelly gets knocked around in the corner but counters the Glam Slam into a victory roll to retain at 6:33.

Rating: D+. Total squash for the most part here with a fluke ending, albeit the same fluke ending to almost every Kelly vs. Beth match ever. Kelly certainly got her push because of her looks but she was getting much better in the ring near the end of her career with matches like this one being far more watchable than some of the disasters that the division hard around this time.

Stephanie leaves John Cena’s locker room. For some reason we have to see the Cena logo twice for the announcers to catch on.

R-Truth is annoyed about getting ripped off so Jimmy Hart of all people offers his managerial services. Truth agrees but realizes that Jimmy is named….uh, Jimmy, and freaks out. Ron Artest and his daughter are shown watching for a worthless cameo.

Daniel Bryan vs. Wade Barrett

Fallout from Money in the Bank where Bryan won by knocking Barrett off the ladder. Bryan doesn’t have his Flight of the Valkyries (yes Flight, which was the name of his WWE theme instead of Ride) theme song yet and it’s really weird to have it missing. Daniel starts in with the kicks and works on the arm as Booker talks about Daniel’s diet.

Bryan fights out of a wristlock and dropkicks Barrett down before bending Barrett’s shoulders around in a variety of painful looking ways. The running dropkick in the corner and a running kick to the chest, only to walk into the yet to be named (or at least not named here) Winds of Change. Barrett fires off his knees in the ropes and kicks Bryan out to the floor.

Back in and we hit the chinlock before Daniel escapes the Wasteland, setting up a running knee off the apron. Barrett’s pumphandle slam doesn’t work and it’s time for the yet to be named YES Kicks. Again, those chants really add a lot. The guillotine goes on and Barrett gets taken down into the LeBell Lock, only to reach over to the rope for the break. Bryan gets crotched on top though and Barrett hits a quick Wasteland for the pin at 11:47.

Rating: B. I still really like this match as it’s two guys beating on each other for the better part of twelve minutes until one of them can’t get up again. Barrett was the bigger star at this point as Bryan really was just a guy in trunks at this point, albeit one with a huge upside. Sometimes you just need a good wrestling match without a lot of meaning behind it and that’s what you got here.

The California National Guard is here.

We recap Christian vs. Randy Orton in a feud that has been going on for months. Christian lost the title less than a week after winning it and then wanted one more match. Orton eventually lost the title via DQ at Money in the Bank, setting up the rematch here with No Holds Barred. This is one of the best feuds in a long time and would have won Feud of the Year had it not been for Cena vs. Punk. It was perfectly put together and one great match after another. The two of them had chemistry together and that’s the most important thing you can do.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

Christian is defending and this is no holds barred but first the champ has a big surprise for everyone as he brings out Edge. After an insane ovation, Edge thanks the fans but reminds them that he can never compete again due to his neck injuries. He was kind of glad that he left when he did though because it opened the door for Christian to become champion.

Christian lost the title five days after winning it and then complained about it for week after week. He just whined until he got his way and then won the title via disqualification. Edge might have done some dastardly things in his time but he did it with some style. Somewhere along the way, Christian became a disgrace to himself. Edge isn’t going to help him tonight and leaves Christian all alone.

Orton starts hammering away in the corner and backdrops Christian to set up the circle stomp and a knee drop for two. They head outside but Christian is smart enough to run away from an RKO through the announcers’ table. Christian grabs the title and runs into the crowd but Orton easily catches him (hint: it’s the guy in wrestling gear carrying a big gold belt) and sends it back inside.

The champ sends him shoulder first into the post (completely legal remember, even though you’ll almost never hear it called a DQ in the first place) to take over. It’s kendo stick time as we hit the standard street fight tropes. Christian misses a shot though and has to settle with an elbow to Orton’s jaw. There’s an interesting story here with Christian not being able to pull off the cheating but doing just fine with the wrestling. Orton grabs a rollup for two but gets caught in a spinebuster for the same.

It’s kendo stick time again but Christian dives into a dropkick to the ribs to keep up the subtle story. Orton can’t get in a stick shot either as the no holds barred rule hasn’t played a big role yet. The elevated DDT is countered into a Killswitch attempt which is countered into Orton’s backbreaker. He can’t hit the Punt but Christian can’t crotch him against the post as Orton uses his legs to pull Christian face first into the post instead.

Now it’s time for the real weapons as Orton pulls out some tables but Christian gets in a shot from behind and sets one up on the floor. Back in and Christian goes up top, only to get superplexed down onto an unset table for a unique spot. It also gets a near fall but that’s not as important. That table is set up in the corner but Christian has to counter the RKO by sending him to the floor. Orton sends him knees first into the steps, only to have Christian send him head first into the steps.

Next up it’s a monitor off Orton’s head to knock him onto the announcers’ table. Like any cocky heel would do though, Christian tries an RKO but gets caught in the real thing through the table for a double KO spot. Back in and Christian gets two off a Killswitch and you can hear the fans going nuts on the near fall. Well deserved too. With the table still looming in the table and another one at ringside, Christian opts for two chairs.

That’s enough for Orton as he takes one away and cracks Christian over the back, followed by a second one to send the champ off the apron and through the first table. Orton brings in the steps and some trashcans but Christian avoids a stomp onto the steps. He can’t avoid a powerslam through the table or a DDT onto the trashcan as this is getting brutal. Christian blocks the RKO with a kendo stick shot, only to have Orton hit another one a few seconds later to win the title back at 23:43.

Rating: A. I love this feud and the matches get better and better every time. There was a great story here of Christian being able to compete in the wrestling but being in WAY over his head against Orton, who has that evil streak in him. This started off as more of a wrestling match with Christian poking his toe into the violence but then embracing it full on, only to be destroyed by the more violent Orton. It’s a great story with a great match to go with it and that’s as good as it gets.

Video on WWE taking over Los Angeles for the week, including an Axxess.

We recap John Cena vs. CM Punk in a narrated video. Punk won the Raw World Title from Cena last month in a masterpiece, only to leave the company with the title immediately after. Cena won the title a few weeks later but Punk came out that night (good thing he just happened to be there), setting up a champion vs. champion match to see who really is the best man. Ignore the fact that they already established that fact at Money in the Bank when Punk beat him in the first place. Due to Punk leaving under Vince’s watch, the Board of Directors replaced Vince as boss with HHH, who Punk hates in general.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

Punk is defending and HHH is guest referee. As expected, Punk is now a mega face and gets a big old pop, much to HHH’s annoyance. Cena on the other hand is booed out of the building as you kind of have to expect as well. Feeling out process to start with Punk grabbing a headlock for that horribly blatant spot calling. Punk was on a roll at this point but he was as bad as Shawn Michaels at hiding that stuff.

The dueling chants start up and sound even louder than usual, as they should at a major show. Now it’s Cena working a headlock into an armbar before Punk hits a leg lariat for two. Cena takes him down into a chinlock as this is firmly in first gear over five minutes in. The fans tell Cena that he can’t wrestle. True but at least he still is a wrestler and not someone who has been waiting two years for a UFC fight.

Punk finally escapes and puts Cena down for a breather, earning a loud CM PUNK chant. Off to a body vice as this match seems to be collapsing under the weight of the expectations from the previous match. Back up and Punk snaps his throat across the top rope to block a superplex attempt, followed by dropkicking Cena out to the floor. That goes nowhere so Punk grabs a seated abdominal stretch, only to have Cena power up into a spinning slam for a breather. Fans: “FRUITY PEBBLES!”

The finishing sequence is countered by Punk’s headlock takeover but he gets caught in the ProtoBomb. Punk comes right back with an enziguri and a Koji Clutch (I love that move) which is countered into an STF which is countered into the Anaconda Vice (Not a key lock Booker. Learn your details.). That actually gets some near falls until Cena reverses into a crossface to continue this pretty awesome sequence. Punk gets to the ropes and sends Cena outside for a suicide dive to put both guys down again.

HHH, who has been a total non-factor for the first fifteen minutes, gets to nine but can’t bring himself to finish the countout. Instead he throws both of them back inside and it’s time for the big strike off. Cena takes over with a dropkick and the Shuffle but the AA is countered into a sunset flip and kick to the head for two each. Cena’s sitout powerslam gets the same, as does Punk’s middle rope bulldog.

A very weary Punk’s springboard clothesline is countered into the STF but they haven’t traded enough finishers yet. Speaking of finishers, Cena gets two off the AA. The GTS gets the same result with Punk staring up at HHH in shock. Punk comes up holding his knee though but drops the top rope elbow for two anyway. Cena pounds Punk down but eats a running knee to the face, setting up the GTS for the pin at 24:08, despite Cena’s foot clearly being on the rope.

Rating: B+. This match would be remembered so much more fondly if it wasn’t for the fact that they had such a masterpiece just a month earlier. They had to try and follow that up and it just couldn’t be done. The screwy ending didn’t help things, just like having HHH out there for the sake of waiting on a screwy finish that doesn’t seem to mean much since this is a night when instant replay doesn’t exist.

HHH applauds Punk post match and raises his hand before leaving. Punk poses….but here’s Kevin Nash through the crowd to lay Punk out. That means Alberto time and here we go.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Punk is defending and loses the title to an enziguri in eleven seconds.

A quick celebration ends the show.

Overall Rating: A. This show is nothing short of excellent with only the Divas Title match being short of good (and seeing Kelly Kelly in shorts is never a bad thing). Orton vs. Christian is great stuff with a great story, the main event is awesome, Barrett vs. Bryan is a hidden gem, the crowd is white hot all night and the rest is all worth watching…..until you get to the ending.

That’s where the show falls apart as not only did the ending only make limited sense here but it would turn into one of the biggest messes anyone had seen in a few short weeks. Somehow Punk wouldn’t get his rematch next month because he was busy jobbing to HHH in the main event of Night of Champions.

Oh and Nash? Yeah he sent himself a text message telling him to come out there right then because he wanted one more crowd reaction. That’s how they followed up on the potentially hottest angle in years: Kevin Nash sent himself a text message and HHH pinned CM Punk, setting up HHH vs. Nash, who never fought Punk in this whole thing. Such is life in WWE, or out of WWE actually and you can’t blame Punk after all that.

Ratings Comparison

Kofi Kingston/John Morrison/Rey Mysterio vs. Awesome Truth/Alberto Del Rio

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2016 Redo: B-

Mark Henry vs. Sheamus

Original: C

2013 Redo: C+

2016 Redo: C+

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D+

2016 Redo: D+

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: B

2013 Redo: B+

2016 Redo: B

Christian vs. Randy Orton

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A-

2016 Redo: A

CM Punk vs. John Cena

Original: A+

2013 Redo: B+

2016 Redo: B+

Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2016 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A

2016 Redo: A

I think we can call this my definitive thoughts on the show as the ratings were almost identical in the last two reviews. Definitely check this one out.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/14/summerslam-2011-that-was-i-need-a-cigarette/

And the 2013 redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/16/summerslam-count-up-2011-a-screwy-ending-isnt-a-bad-thing/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 2008
Date: August 17, 2008
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 15,997
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We’re wrapping up the summer with this big one, though it is more or less a two match show. On the Raw side, that would be John Cena vs. Batista, while the Smackdown side counters with Edge vs. Undertaker inside the Cell. That should be enough to carry the show, which is pretty much what WWE is going with, as the rest of the show does not feel nearly as important (which, fair enough). Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a trailer for the ultimate summer blockbuster, complete with clips of Summerslams past. I’ve seen worse ideas. The Cell match gets some hype as well.

MVP vs. Jeff Hardy

MVP fires off some kicks to start but gets chased to the floor, where Hardy takes over rather quickly. Back in and Hardy hits a slingshot legdrop before cranking on the arm for a change. MVP fights up and catches a charging Hardy in an overhead belly to belly into the corner for a nasty crash. A double underhook crank goes on, followed by a camel clutch to keep Hardy down. That’s broken up so MVP switches over to a half crab and then something like a heel hook as the submissions are varying here.

Hardy tries to fight up again but what looked like a springboard is cut off by a hard right hand. MVP ties him in the Tree of Woe but Hardy slips out and grabs a neckbreaker for a breather. The slingshot dropkick is cut off by a kick to the chest though and Hardy is right back in the corner. That doesn’t last long as he comes right back out with the Sling Blade but cue Shelton Benjamin for a distraction. Hardy takes him down but misses the Swanton, allowing MVP to hit the Drive By for the pin.

Rating: B-. They were getting going near the end here and it wound up being a rather nice way to open the show without it feeling like a major match. Odds are Hardy is going to get another US Title shot after the Benjamin interference but I’m curious to see what is next for MVP. There isn’t much in the way of another upper midcarder for him to face so other than a rematch with Hardy, he’s kind of in a weird place.

Maria interviews Santino Marella and Beth Phoenix, with Santino saying Maria has let herself go since they broke up. They are known as Glamarella, which is a total phenomenon. Maria: “Like your unibrow?” Santino says they they need to go, with Beth glaring at Maria and saying Santino is all his. Santino: “This is awkward.”

Intercontinental Title/Women’s Title: Kofi Kingston/Mickie James vs. Santino Marella/Beth Phoenix

Kofi and Mickie are defending and it’s winner takes all. Mickie has to get away from Beth’s power to start before kicking out the leg. A basement dropkick gives Mickie two but a belly to back suplex puts her right back down. Santino comes in and is promptly monkey flipped, allowing Kofi to come in and hammer away. Beth stops to yell at Santino and gets dropkicked out to the floor, leaving her to catch Santino as he is knocked off the apron.

Back up and Santino manages a neckbreaker over the ropes to take over on Kofi. A snap suplex gets two on Kofi and we hit the chinlock. Kofi fights up and hands it back to Mickie to take over on Beth. A dropkick knocks Santino off the apron and the top rope Thesz press gets two on Beth, with Santino diving back in for the save. The MickieDT plants Santino but the distraction lets Beth hit the Glam Slam for the pin and both titles.

Rating: C. The match was pretty quick and to the point, but it isn’t like Kofi was doing anything significant as champion and Mickie had held her title for a good while. Glamarella is a better act at the moment and it makes sense to change both belts. Go with what makes sense here, as Santino as the in over his head champion who needs Beth to save him should be fun.

Beth having to wake Santino up so he can be awarded his title is funny. He gets on Beth’s shoulders to be carried out for a great bonus.

We recap Shawn Michaels’ eye injury, which might result in the end of his career, all at the hands of Chris Jericho. It is time for him to make an announcement, and you know Jericho is going to have something to say as well.

Here is Shawn, with his wife Rebecca, for his announcement. He gets right to the point, saying he has been talking to his doctors and with the injury to his eye, on top of his back and knees and everything else, it is time to listen to his doctors. Shawn talks about some of the highs and lows of his career, but now he has the chance to be known as a full time husband and father. Before he can make the officially announcement though, here is Chris Jericho to interrupt.

Jericho: “No.” Shawn: “Excuse me?” Jericho isn’t going to let Shawn walk away like this, because he wants to hear Shawn admit that he is leaving because of what Jericho did to him. Jericho wants Shawn to have to go home to his family and say that he isn’t good enough. For now, he wants Shawn to admit that Jericho put him out for good. All of his accomplishments mean nothing because the epitaph for Shawn’s career says “the man who was forced to walk away from the ring because of Chris Jericho.”

Shawn says he’ll go home and tell his kids that he can’t wrestle anymore because of a vile human being. Jericho needs to go home too though, and sit his wife and kids down to tell them that he will never, ever be Shawn Michaels. They stare at each other and Jericho comes up swinging, with Shawn ducking so the punch hits Rebecca instead.

Shawn is distraught and Jericho looks upset before leaving. Jericho stares back at him and Shawn looks almost lost before checking on Rebecca again. Rebecca eventually gets up and leaves with Shawn as this gets the time that it needs. This was REALLY good stuff with Jericho selling the jealousy and Shawn getting in the great mic drop line at the end.

ECW Title: Mark Henry vs. Matt Hardy

Henry, with Tony Atlas, is defending. Hardy slugs away to start but is easily powered into the corner. A Twist of Fate connects out of nowhere…but Atlas breaks up the cover and that’s a DQ in about thirty seconds. Well that’s either a time crunch or they had nothing else to do and needed to extend the feud another month.

Post match the beatdown is on but Jeff Hardy runs in for the save.

We recap CM Punk defending the Raw World Title against JBL. Punk won the title via Money In The Bank cash-in and JBL keeps talking down to him for being in over his head. Punk is out to prove he belongs on this level.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Punk is defending and gets powered into the corner to start for a clean break. A headlock doesn’t work so Punk kicks away and dropkicks JBL out to the floor, setting up the big dive. Back in and JBL hits a big shoulder to take over, setting up a super fall away slam for two. Some elbows to the back keep Punk in trouble and we hit the bearhug.

Punk fights out but charges into a boot to the face for two. The waistlock stays on the ribs before JBL switches over to the abdominal stretch. Punk fights out and manages the running knee in the corner but JBL is back with a heck of a clothesline (not the Clothesline From JBL but rather just a clothesline from JBL).

Another comeback with a kick to the head gives Punk two but JBL powerslams him out of the air for two more. The Clothesline From JBL is broken up with a leg lariat but JBL cuts off the bulldog out of the corner. JBL sends him flying with a belly to back superplex and Punk is bleeding from somewhere on his head. Back up and Punk hits a quick GTS for the really sudden pin to retain (possibly due to the cut).

Rating: C+. It was a fine come from behind win for Punk, even if the ending was really sudden. What matters the most though is giving Punk a clean pin over someone with some status. He still only feels so much like a major star, but a win in a World Title match at Summerslam should help that. Now just make him slightly more important on Raw and it will be even better.

We recap HHH vs. Great Khali for the Smackdown World Title. HHH is the champion but Khali is big. End of story.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Great Khali

HHH is defending and Khali has Runjin Singh with him. The early right hands stagger Khali but he easily blocks a Pedigree attempt. HHH’s clotheslines are cut off with the tree slam but Khali would rather pose than cover. The Vice Grip is broken up and a chop block takes Khali down. They go outside where the big chop knocks HHH silly and it’s time to stomp away back inside.

The fans think Khali can’t wrestle and he proves them wrong by grabbing a nerve hold. That stays on for a good while but HHH slugs away and hits a facebuster to tie Khali’s arms in the ropes. Khali kicks his way out so HHH goes after the leg and even ties it around the post in a smart move. Not that it matters as Khali chops him down again and the Vice Grip goes on again. Since it’s HHH, he manages to power out and, after another failed attempt, hits the Pedigree to retain the title.

Rating: C. That’s on something of a sliding scale as Khali is only going to be so good on his best day and the match wasn’t exactly good. That being said, they followed a simple formula here of Khali slowly beating him down and grinding away while HHH just tried for his one big home run dhow. It wasn’t good, but I’ll take a “that could have been worse” for a World Title match involving Khali.

We recap John Cena vs. Batista in their first ever match in WWE. I don’t think it needs much more of an explanation than that.

John Cena vs. Batista

Batista grabs a headlock into a running shoulder to start but Cena is back with a hiptoss. Back up and Cena’s shoulder runs Batista over for a change but Batista gets two off a suplex. A side slam gives Batista two more and he mixes things up with a Figure Four of all things. The leg is fine enough that Cena gets to the rope and FU’s Batista over the top for a crash out to the floor. While Cena gets a breather, Batista comes up holding his knee, which can’t go well.

Back in and Cena hits another Shuffle but the second FU is broken up. Batista powers him into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs but the Batista Bomb is countered into a DDT on the knee. Cena gets the STFU but Batista powers out into something like a rear naked choke for a change.

A shot to the knee gets Cena out of trouble, only for Batista to spear him down for two. Cena manages to reverse a powerslam into an FU for a rather delayed two. They go up top with Cena knocking him off the top, only for the top rope Fameasser to be countered into a powerbomb for two more. The Batista Bomb gives Batista the pin.

Rating: B. It didn’t quite live up to the hype, but how can anything live up to that kind of pressure? This was the definition of a dram match with two of the biggest names in WWE facing off for the first time. It also wasn’t very long, not even breaking fourteen minutes. What we got was good, but it felt like it should have been incredible and it just never got there.
The Cell is lowered.

We recap Edge vs. the Undertaker inside the Cell. This is more about Edge vs. his wife Vickie Guerrero, as Edge cheated on her with their wedding planner. As a result, Vickie put him in the Cell match as revenge. Edge has tapped into his more evil, aggressive side to fight back against Undertaker but also to deal with Vickie. Undertaker hasn’t appeared during the whole thing and is more a big shadow over the real feud, making it kind of a weir build. Edge has done well though and is feeling more like the great version of himself, which gives this promise.

Edge vs. Undertaker

Inside the Cell. They start slowly until Undertaker kicks him in the face. It’s already time to head out to the floor, where Edge is sent hard into the Cell. Another whip sends him into the steps as this is one sided so far. Undertaker drops the apron legdrop as we see La Familia watching backstage. The steps are set up in the corner and Edge is Snaked Eyesed onto them….which wakes Edge up for some reason. Undertaker is sent into the steps and then speared against the for a bonus.

It’s table time but first, Edge knocks him silly with the steps again. Edge can’t manage to suplex him through two tables at ringside though and has to fight out of a chokeslam attempt. A chair to the throat puts Undertaker down again so let’s throw in a ladder as well. One heck of a chair shot to the head puts Undertaker down, allowing Edge to put him onto the table. The chair shot off the ladder crushes Undertaker and they’re both down. Edge is up first and loads up a Conchairto, which takes too long, allowing Undertaker to slug away.

A big boot sends Edge into the Cell and some hard steps to the head makes it worse. Edge manages a posting though and the spear sends Undertaker through the Cell wall for the big crash. It’s Undertaker up first and he hits Edge in the head with a TV monitor. They go onto the announcers’ table, with Edge hitting a spear to send him through the other table. Somehow Undertaker is up first again and hits Edge with the bell.

They go back inside (the fans do not approve), where Edge is waiting with a ladder to the head. A camera to the head (ala Survivor Series last year when Edge cost Undertaker in the Cell) but Undertaker pops back up with a chokeslam for two. The Last Ride is broken up with a low blow and Edge hits the Edgecution for two. Another spear gets another two but Undertaker is back up with the Last Ride for the same. The Tombstone onto the steps is broken up and Edge sends him head first onto the steps for a double breather.

For some reason Edge goes up, allowing Undertaker to chokeslam him off the top and through a pair of tables for the huge crash. Back in and Undertaker hits a spear of his own before grabbing the camera (Undertaker: “WELCOME TO H***!” That’s a good line but it would have been better if that was the active camera, instead giving us a shot of Undertaker shouting into a camera from the side). A Conchairto and the Tombstone finally finish Edge.

Rating: A-. These two beat the fire out of each other and it made for a great fight. They even told a story with the violence as Edge threw everything he had at Undertaker but just wasn’t good enough. That’s what Vickie Guerrero was hoping to do here and it made for a great story. Undertaker massacred Edge here and the ending felt like a total destruction, which is exactly what it should have been. Heck of a main event here and it lived up to the hype.

Post match Undertaker stands up a ladder and puts Edge on it. Undertaker climbs up a second ladder and chokeslams Edge through the mat. Fire comes up from the hole to to hammer in the symbolism and end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The last two matches delivered and thankfully those were the matches that mattered by far the most. Throw in a pretty awesome Shawn/Jericho segment and this was a good show. What mattered here was the show felt important, which is what something like Summerslam should do. WWE still needs to boost up something else other than the main stories, but for now they were enough to carry the show.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: October 21, 2008
Location: Entertainment Center, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We’re almost to Cyber Sunday and that means we have a total of one thing happening here. In this case that means a trio of wrestlers are coming after Matt Hardy’s ECW Title at the pay per view. That’s not the easiest way to present an hour long show but it isn’t like they’re inexperienced with this stuff. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Matt Hardy to get things going. He has a bunch of people coming after his title, including a tough man in Finlay and an incredible athlete in Evan Bourne. Then there’s Mark Henry, who wants one more shot at Hardy. Well Hardy wants one more shot at Henry, who has his vote. This brings out Finlay and Hornswoggle, with the former saying he’s coming for the title in their first singles match on Sunday.

Evan Bourne joins them, with Finlay making short jokes (while standing next to a leprechaun). Mark Henry and Tony Atlas join us as well, with the latter threatening to hurt everyone in the triple threat tonight (as apparently there’s a triple threat tonight). Hardy doesn’t care who he is facing, because he’s keeping the title on Sunday.

Jack Swagger vs. Brett Badery

Badery tries to go after the leg to start and is quickly run over. The Red White And Blue Bomb finishes Badery fast.

Post match Swagger is asked about Tommy Dreamer. Swagger: “Tommy Who?” Something something Pinball Wizard.

Miz and John Morrison want to get voted in to face Cryme Tyme. Miz thinks he would have been a better running mate for John McCain than Sarah Palin.

Shad Gaspard vs. The Miz

JTG and John Morrison are here too. Gaspard backs him into the corner to start but misses a charge to give Miz an opening. A powerslam gets Gaspard out of trouble but he gets low bridged to the floor, with Miz’s baseball slide connecting. Back in and Gaspard fights out of an armbar, meaning it’s time to hit Miz in the face over and over. Morrison’s distraction is cut off by JTG and Gaspard gets in a spinebuster. Morrison kicks Gaspard in the back of the head…and that’s a DQ. I’m not sure if that’s how it was supposed to go as they seem a bit confused.

Rating: C. That’s a weird way to end the match as it seemed to come out of nowhere. Having a simple cheap shot be enough for the DQ was an odd way to go and it’s not like Gaspard gets much out of winning this way. Miz wasn’t good enough to carry a match on his own yet and it was kind of showing here, though at least it didn’t go that long.

John Cena is coming back. People like him.

Cyber Sunday rundown.

Ricky Ortiz is in the back with Tiffany when Hornswoggle and Finlay come trick or treating. The payoff: Teddy Long as Shad. Long: “There goes one bad….” Tiffany: “Shut your mouth.” I’ve seen dumber. Like Ricky Ortiz.

Finlay vs. Evan Bourne vs. Mark Henry

Striker explains the rules, saying all three “entertainers” are in the ring at once. Finlay and Bourne’s early double teaming doesn’t work as Henry fights back. A low bridge puts Henry on the floor so Finlay drops Bourne with a clothesline for two. Back up and Bourne sends Finlay into Henry on the floor but Henry is back in for the save.

We take a break and come back with Henry crushing Bourne in the corner, followed by a neck crank to Finlay. That’s broken up with Henry being sent outside, leaving Finlay to powerbomb Bourne for two. Henry is back in to block Finlay’s crucifix and World’s Strongest Slam Bourne at the same time, because that can be done. Finlay is back up with a DDT for two on Henry but seems to have hurt his pectoral muscle. Tony Atlas goes after Hornswoggle on the floor but the distraction lets Finlay grab the shillelagh to drop both of them. Bourne kicks Finlay down though and Air Bourne finishes Henry.

Rating: B-. Bourne is the best choice for the title match, as Finlay is only so interesting and Henry vs. Hardy has already been done. Hopefully the fans see it the same way, but that’s part of the point of Cyber Sunday: allowing the fans to be sent in the direction WWE wants. It might not work in the end, but at least the setup is working well enough.

Overall Rating: C. The main event was ok enough, but the rest of the show was just stuff filling in the card. It’s more of the same problem from ECW, as almost nothing but the title picture matters. The tag feud is more about Smackdown/Raw and Swagger vs. Dreamer…come on already. As usual, this show is so much easier to watch because it’s short, but that certainly doesn’t make it interesting.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 20, 2008
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last Raw before Cyber Sunday and we have a question about who should be the guest referee of the World Title match between Chris Jericho and Batista. There really isn’t much else for Raw on the pay per view and that doesn’t leave us with a lot to do on this show. Well save for finding out which legend will challenge Santino Marella for the Intercontinental Title, which should be interesting. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Candice Michelle/Kelly Kelly vs. Katie Lea/Jillian Hall

Hall shoves Kelly down to start but it’s off to Michelle for a double elbow. Naturally Lawler spends the match talking about how excited he is at seeing the Divas in Halloween costumes on Sunday, because that’s what Lawler does. Michelle is sent outside and crashes to the floor, with Hall grabbing a seated abdominal stretch. That’s broken up and Kelly comes back in for her screaming headscissors. Everything breaks down and Kelly’s Fameasser gets the pin on Hall.

Rating: C. The best thing I can say here is that this was a match. There are so many times when the women are thrown out there to do whatever dumb thing they are asked to do (ala Fuzzy Dice On A Pole last week on Smackdown). This wasn’t a good match, but it was a totally standard match and it went fine. I’ll definitely take that as the slow steps towards turning the division into something serious slowly continue. That being said, this is how they opened the go home Raw for a pay per view?

We look back at last week, with Chris Jericho and Batista picking the other’s opponents, which did not go so well for Jericho.

Here is Jericho for a chat but first, he insists that Lilian Garcia give him a proper introduction. Jericho does not like the fans disrespecting him and suggesting that he is going to lose on Sunday. He might even have to add Mike Adamle to the list of people disrespecting him. Jericho goes over the options for guest referee at Cyber Sunday and talks about some of the times where he has overcome the odds.

This brings out Batista, who isn’t wild on a lot of this stuff. After mocking Jericho’s hair, Batista says you earn respect rather than demanding it. If Jericho beats him at Cyber Sunday, maybe he’ll earn some respect, but until then, he needs to stop whining. Cue Mike Adamle, who wants to talk about respect. They’ll both be performing tonight, but in a pair of gauntlet matches. Adamle doesn’t list any opponents but Jericho slaps Batista before leaving.

Here is JBL for a match and he’s not happy about having to face some lame impersonator. Yes we are in uncertain financial times but the reality is the rich will become richer and the poor (“That would be you.”) become poorer. And then the glass shatters, but it’s not what you might expect. Ok it probably is.

John Bradshaw vs. Steve Haastin

JBL: “You’ve got to be kidding me.” The bell rings and Haastin hits a Thesz press, followed by the corner stomping. The Stunner is blocked though and the Clothesline From JBL is enough for the fast pin.

Post match JBL says that is the bottom line because he says so.

Mike Knox seems to be coming to Raw. Uh, great.

Rey Mysterio vs. Snitsky

Snitsky powers him into the corner to start and grabs a gutbuster to work on the bad ribs. A big boot in the corner misses though and Mysterio gets in the top rope seated senton. The 619 and springboard splash finish Snitsky without much trouble.

John Morrison/The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston/CM Punk

Before the match, Miz and Morrison say there is still time for them to be on Cyber Sunday (somehow) because they are better than the Freebirds, the Legion Of Doom and DX. Miz: “Are you fifty? NO! I SAID ARE YOU FIFTY???” Punk and Morrison start things off because they were joined at the hip for a good while.

Morrison takes him into the corner so Miz can come in, earning himself a beating. It’s off to Kingston for a heck of a dropkick and Morrison is tossed outside with him as the good guys clear the ring. Back in and Punk’s running ax handle gets two on Punk but Morrison kicks Kingston off the ropes.

Morrison suplexes him into a chinlock and we take a break. We come back with Kingston kicking his way out of trouble, only for Miz to grab another chinlock. Said chinlock is broken up and it’s back to Punk so the pace can pick way up. The GTS hits Morrison but Miz comes in off the blind tag and gets the rollup for the clean pin on Punk.

Rating: B-. That was a snazzy finish as Miz and Morrison have turned into a heck of a team, with Miz pinning a former World Champion. That’s quite the big win and I could go for seeing more of them at a higher level. At the same time, Punk is kind of floating around without something specific to do. That needs to change, though I’m not sure what that could be at the moment.

Chris Jericho rants to Mike Adamle about his lack of respect but Adamle says this is so Jericho can earn respect.

Here are Beth Phoenix and Santino Marella, with the latter dressed as Roddy Piper, complete with Goldust paint and a guitar. Marella says any of the legends he could face are the same. Piper is fat, Goldust is dressed as a woman and Honky Tonk Man is….oddly obsessed with pork chops?

This brings out Jim Duggan of all people, who says Marella is on the last minute of his fifteen minutes of fame. Marella is the flashiest of the flashes in the pan, but he says Duggan only won a gold medal at the Goodwill Games. Duggan refers to Phoenix as Marella’s boyfriend so she throws the kilt at him, allowing Marella to hit him with the guitar. Oddly enough, the villains get to leave after standing tall.

We look at WWE in Puerto Rico.

Cryme Tyme vs. Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase

Non-title and Manu is here with Rhodes/DiBiase. Actually hold on as the three of them jump Cryme Tyme and lay them out before the bell. No match.

Cyber Sunday rundown.

Here are Mike Adamle, Batista and Chris Jericho for the double gauntlet match, as they will face the same three opponents.

Batista vs. William Regal

Regal has Layla with him and gets Batista Bombed for the pin in about 30 seconds.

Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Non-title. Regal gets up and walks into the Codebreaker for the pin at about 6 seconds. I’m not sure how impressive that really is but I’m not sure how well they thought this out.

Chris Jericho vs. Mark Henry

Non-title and Tony Atlas is here with Henry. Jericho goes after the knee to start fast but the Walls are easily blocked. Henry misses a splash and gets Lionsaulted for two. With nothing else working, Jericho grabs the belt and hits Henry in the head with the belt for the DQ.

Batista vs. Mark Henry

The spinebuster finishes Henry at about fifteen seconds.

For some reason Jericho has to keep wrestling despite losing the second match as I have no idea what is going on here.

Chris Jericho vs. Kane

Non-title and we’re joined in progress with Kane getting two off a running DDT. Jericho takes him into the corner and works on the leg but the Walls are blocked again. Kane’s side slam sets up a missed elbow so he goes up, only to get crotched by Jericho. Kane shoves him off the top and hits the top rope clothesline as Batista is rather pleased. Jericho gets dumped to the floor, where Batista backs him right into Kane. A big boot finishes Jericho back inside.

Batista vs. Kane

Jericho distracts Kane and Batista hits a spear for the fast pin. Apparently this makes him the winner?

Rating: D-. There was barely any action, but the bigger problem is pretty obvious: I have no idea how the rules worked and I don’t think WWE did either. Why did Jericho have to face Kane if he had already been pinned? This wasn’t so much a gauntlet match as much as it was some weird “who can get the higher score” match and I have no idea who would have won if they both went 3-0. But hey, heck of a way to have all three villains get pinned in a row!

Overall Rating: D+. Yeah I have no idea what to make of this show, as the only interesting thing about Cyber Sunday, at least on the Raw side, is who gets to referee Batista vs. Jericho. The problem there is they have completely lost the plot on why Batista and Jericho are fighting, making the whole thing a mess. It’s something about Jericho wanting respect from Mike Adamle? I think maybe? Either way, total mess here, with an ok tag match not being nearly enough to save the thing.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: October 14, 2008
Location: Thomas & Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We’re coming up on Cyber Sunday and that means Matt Hardy is going to need a challenger for his ECW Title. There are only so many options available, but Mark Henry has to be a top option. The show needs something else to build towards, but that has been the case for a long time around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are Mark Henry and Tony Atlas to get things going. We see Henry smashing through various people last week, with Atlas calling that a message. Henry wants another ECW Title shot against Matt Hardy but gets Teddy Long instead. Long says Henry doesn’t get a title shot just because he jumped Hardy, but he can be one of three options for the fans to pick as challenger at Cyber Sunday. We’ll have two more challengers, with the qualifying matches starting right now. Simple, to the point stuff here, as Long can do well.

Cyber Sunday Qualifying Match: Chavo Guerrero vs. Evan Bourne

Before the match, Bourne offers Henry a handshake and gets as far as you’re probably expecting. They fight over a lockup to start with Guerrero taking him to the mat with a headlock. Back up and Bourne knocks him to the floor and things slow down a bit. Guerrero gets back in to grab a headlock before grinding on an armbar.

Bourne pops up with a middle rope armbar, only to have Guerrero stomp him down in the corner. Back up again and Bourne sends him outside for the big running flip dive and we take a break. We come back with Guerrero working on the leg, including grabbing a Muta Lock. With that broken up, Bourne gets a quick rollup for two, followed by a jumping knee to the face.

Bourne goes up and gets crotched on top (Grisham: “Right in the capital of Thailand!) to give Guerrero two. Guerrero is right back on the leg but Bourne uses the good one for a kick to the side of the head. The super hurricanrana sets up the shooting star press (nice knee injury there) to give Bourne the pin.

Rating: B. This was a heck of a match as Bourne was able to showcase his talents rather well, as he seemed to know he was getting a big chance. At the same time, Guerrero deserves a lot of praise of his own. Guerrero’s job here was to make Bourne look good and that’s exactly what he did, with the result being one of the best matches on ECW in a long time.

Post match Henry comes in to crush Bourne for a World’s Strongest Slam and a mocking handshake.

You know who else has options for Cyber Sunday challengers? HHH.

The Boogeyman is still coming.

We look at Vladimir Kozlov taking out Jeff Hardy last week, setting up their match this week on Smackdown.

Tiffany, dressed as a Las Vegas showgirl, wants Teddy Long to be Elvis (yes she has a costume) for Halloween. Jack Swagger comes in to say he wants a title shot but here is Tommy Dreamer to say the same. Swagger mocks him for saying this isn’t 1996 and says he’s here to make a legacy, unlike Dreamer. I would say ouch, but that’s pretty accurate.

You can pick the referee for the Raw World Title match! This show has quite a bit of filler.

Cyber Sunday Qualifying Match: Finlay vs. John Morrison

Hornswoggle and Miz are here too. Finlay grabs a headlock to start but gets rolled up for a fast two. Naturally Finlay is fine on the mat and works on the leg, with Morrison having to grab a chinlock to escape again. A half crab sends Morrison over to the rope so he knocks Finlay down into an armbar as this is more technical than I was expecting.

Back up and Finlay sends Morrison outside onto Miz, with Hornswoggle getting in a dive as the referee is checking on Finlay’s absolutely damaged eye. We take a break and come back with Morrison staying on the arm and staying on the arm and then staying on the arm a big more.

Finlay is back up and gets kicked back down, meaning it’s more barring of the arm. They ram heads for an actual break and it’s Finlay up with a Regal Roll for two. Morrison’s backbreaker gets the same and draws in Hornswoggle, where he has to play some possum. Cue Mike Knox for a failed distraction but Cryme Tyme sneaks in with a shillelagh for Finlay, who knocks Morrison out for the win.

Rating: C+. If the idea here was to get Morrison over like Guerrero did for Bourne in the opener, it didn’t work. That never ending armbar killed whatever they were doing and the ending was only so interesting. I wasn’t getting into this one and it just dragged on forever, which didn’t work in the slightest.

And then Finlay knocks Cryme Tyme down with the shillelagh (that’s a mixture of rude and mean). As Finlay leaves, Mark Henry pops up for a World’s Strongest Slam.

Overall Rating: B-. That opener more than carried this show but it was clear that they didn’t have much to talk about here. That’s the problem with ECW, as it’s basically the ECW Title and nothing else. Bourne and Guerrero pulled this one up to another level though with a rather good match but the show only being about 45 minutes long was a big break as there just wasn’t much to see.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Summerslam 1999
Date: August 22, 1999
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 17,130
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s been a bit since I’ve looked at this show so we might as well try it again. The main event is a triple threat match with HHH and Mankind challenging Steve Austin for the title with Governor Jesse Ventura as the guest referee. Other than that, The Rock is facing Billy Gunn for reasons I don’t quite understand. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of the main event, which has involved a bunch of guest referees over the years. Now Jesse Ventura is the ultimate guest referee, as he is the governor of Minnesota and the biggest power around. Makes sense, in a wrestling way at least.

Jesse Ventura tells HHH that he knows all of the cheating that can happen out there so don’t even bother. Chyna needs to set HHH straight.

Chris Jericho gets on “Harold” Finkel for being late, especially when Jericho is trying to save his job.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. D’Lo Brown

Jarrett, with Debra, is challenging for both titles. Actually hold on as Jarrett ejects Debra, much to Lawler’s chagrin. Actually hold on again as Debra runs into Brown in the back and offers to manage him instead. Brown, like a moron, actually agrees. Jarrett jumps him to start fast but Brown is back up with a flying forearm.

A powerslam gives Brown two and Jarrett jumps into a sitout spinebuster for the same. Brown tries a middle rope bulldog but gets pulled into a side slam for a pretty unique counter. Jarrett sends him outside for a baseball slide and a ram into the steps. That earns him a clothesline over the barricade so Jarrett comes right back with a posting to cut Brown off again.

Back in and Jarrett starts in on the arm, with a tornado DDT on said arm leaving Brown in a lot of trouble. Jarrett stops to yell at Debra though and it’s a running Liger Bomb to give Brown two. The head shaking legdrop and a suplex have Jarrett in trouble but Brown misses a random Swanton. Debra gets on the apron for a distraction so Jarrett grabs the guitar. Cue Mark Henry to take it away and clock Brown, giving Jarrett the pin and the titles at 7:29.

Rating: C+. So in an opener that runs about seven and a half minutes, we had a (seemingly fake) split, a new pairing, a guitar shot and another turn in the end. All in a match for a double championship. What makes this all the more annoying is Jarrett and Brown are more than capable of having a good wrestling match without all of the shenanigans. Let them do their thing and save this nonsense for people who actually need it.

And of course Debra was in on it all along.

Earlier today, Edge And Christian were ready to start the Tag Team Turmoil match. They want to be the #1 contenders and who better to start against than the Hardys?

Tag Team Turmoil

Six team gauntlet match for the #1 contendership with Edge And Christian in at #1 and the Hardys (the New Brood but the graphic has the other name and I’m going with it) in at #2. The Hardys jump them to start fast until we settle down to Edge Russian legsweeping Matt. Christian comes in for a spinwheel kick which clearly misses (fair enough as Matt popped back up) but Gangrel gets in a cheap shot.

That allows the Hardys to take their shirts off (high pitched pop still in development and Jeff’s springboard moonsault gets two. Christian is cut off again and it’s a suplex into a Swanton with Jeff having to make a save. A double reverse layout DDT gets Christian out of trouble though and it’s back to Edge to clean house.

Everything breaks down and Jeff tries to run the barricade, only to get speared out of the air by Edge. Gangrel gets in a cheap shot but Christian hits a big springboard dive, with Matt moonsaulting onto all three of them. Back in and Edge electric chair faceplants Jeff, setting up Christian’s top rope elbow for the pin at 5:02.

Viscera and Mideon are in at #3 with Viscera jumping Christian and giving him a Samoan drop. A double elbow lets Mideon choke away but he misses a middle rope elbow. Edge comes in and gets dropped by Viscera’s rather impressive spinwheel kick but Viscera splashes Mideon by mistake. A double shoulder puts Viscera on the floor and the spear finishes Mideon at 7:38 total

Prince Albert and Droz are in at #4 and commentary gets in an argument over whether college football careers matter at all. JR points out that Lawler doesn’t know a thing about Albert but Lawler points out that you can tell everything you need to know by looking at Albert. Well, yeah. Albert misses a charge in the corner and Christian takes Droz out on the floor. A chop block and the Downward Spiral finish Albert at 9:37 total and the Acolytes are in at #5.

Christian is taken outside and rammed into the post, leaving Edge to hammer on Bradshaw in the corner. This allows Lawler to mock JR’s football obsession but JR says Lawler hurt his feelings. A powerbomb out of the corner drops Edge and it’s off to Faarooq for more pummeling. Edge’s spinwheel kick (popular move this match) drops Faarooq but Bradshaw is right there to cut off the tag. Faarooq gets a rather cocky two and we hit the chinlock.

Back up and the Dominator is reversed into a DDT, allowing Edge to bring Christian in. The dropkicks abound and a tornado DDT gets two on Bradshaw. Cue the Hollys (apparently jumping the gun) as Bradshaw blasts Christian with the Clothesline From Bradshaw for the pin at 14:42 total.

So the Hollys complete the field at #6 and go after the Acolytes, who don’t seem impressed. The Dominator plants Crash but Holly makes the save. Naturally this results in the Hollys fighting over who gets to stomp Faarooq, earning Hardcore a double shoulder. A suplex gets Hardcore out of trouble so Crash tags himself in, only to get clotheslined. Lawler mocks JR for saying he doesn’t know which Holly is tougher, even as Bradshaw gets two off a swinging neckbreaker. Hardcore comes back in and get in a fight among themselves, leaving an annoyed Faarooq to spinebuster Hardcore for the pin at 17:36.

Rating: C+. Believe it or not, Edge And Christian and the Hardys tore the house down while they could and most of the rest of the teams were just there. That’s pretty much the story of the tag division until the Dudley Boyz showed up in a few months but for now, it was those teams and no one else. This was at least different, though dang I could have gone for the Hardys and Edge & Christian getting that much time instead.

Al Snow tries to calm down his dog, Pepper, about the Big Boss Man with advice about Judy Garland.

Here is the Road Dogg for a chat. He’s not happy with being out of the Hardcore Title match but wants to face the winner tomorrow on Raw. Cue Chris Jericho (who had only debuted a few weeks ago) to interrupt (JR: “It’s Jericho.” Lawler: “How do you know?”), saying he can’t believe that Summersham is worse than Raw Is Bore.

There are a lot of terrible performers on this show and the worst is in the ring right now. Jericho mocks Dogg’s lack of reaction, with Dogg smiling at the cheers he receives. The reality is that DX and Dogg suck so Dogg calls him a b**** to wrap this up. What a nothing segment but it was a way to get Jericho on the show.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Big Boss Man

Boss Man is defending and Snow leaves Pepper in a pet carrier in the back. Dogg is on commentary but jumps up with a mic to do roving commentary. Snow climbs onto the set and dives onto Boss Man during his entrance and they go backstage, where Boss Man is put through a table. Boss Man fights back and throws Pepper’s pet case, earning himself what looks like a chalkboard to the back.

A crutch shot drops Snow and Boss Man rams him into a Pepsi case. Boss Man shoves the case over but can’t crush Snow in the process so they go outside instead. The fight goes across the street and Snow kicks him down for two outside of a restaurant. Boss Man sends him through some outside tables and they go into a bar, where Boss Man hits him with the Yellow Pages.

Snow fights back, flirts with a woman, and gets punched further into the building. A broomstick is broken over Boss Man’s back and let’s go to the men’s room. They go back to the bar where Snow hits him with a beer and a chain (as all bars have), followed by a moonsault off the bar through a table. Now it’s time to go to the pool area, but Dogg hits Boss Man with his nightstick. Snow gets in a low blow with some pool balls to get the title back at 7:21.

Rating: B-. Why not? This was the kind of insanity that you could get with the hardcore stuff and it wound up being a lot more memorable. Leaving the arena is always cool and while I prefer the Friendly Tap, this was fun stuff and it was insane enough to make the whole thing work.

Post match Snow immediately runs back to check on Pepper, having to beat up Stevie Richards and the Blue Meanie, who might be trying to steal him.

Jesse Ventura gives Mankind the same kind of speech saying he’s not counting a fall off a chair shot or something like that. Mankind would rather talk about Geraldine Ferraro being underrated as a candidate but Ventura wasn’t a fan. That is exactly the kind of response I would have expected from Mick Foley.

Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Tori

Ivory is defending after using shoe polish to write some rather mean terms on Tori’s stomach and back. Tori runs in and grabs an early powerslam to send Ivory bailing to the floor. Back in and Tori knocks her down again, only to get choked on the ropes. We go old school with the giant swing but Tori comes back with a spear. An Alley Oop sets up a high crossbody but Tori’s sunset flip doesn’t even get one. They try it again and Ivory awkward sits down on Tori for the pin at 4:12.

Rating: D. Yeah this was terrible and there wasn’t much of a way around it. The Women’s Title situation was pretty much a disaster at this point and that would be the case for a few more years. Ivory was trying but Tori was only so good. They did the smart thing by keeping it short but there was only so much that could be done. Just not good.

Post match Ivory tries to rip off Tori’s top but Luna Vachon runs in for the save, much to Lawler’s ire.

The Rock interviews Michael Cole, mocks his tie, asks if he’s a bit….however you spell what Rock said, and then promises to beat up Billy Gunn in about 45 minutes.

Billy Gunn has someone under a tarp.

We recap Ken Shamrock vs. Steve Blackman, which is basically over which one is tougher and more violent. Cars and condoms full of blood were involved so you know it’s serious.

Steve Blackman vs. Ken Shamrock

This is in the Lion’s Den, which is a small cage with weapons at the top next to the entrance. Blackman is in first and hides some nunchucks in his pants but the early shot is shrugged off. Shamrock goes for the leg and finds the nunchucks, only to have his leg swept out. Blackman chokes him with a stick so Shamrock grabs a cross armbreaker. With that broken up, Shamrock throws the nunchucks out and hammers away as things slow back down.

It’s time for the kendo stick but Blackman whips him into the cage to take over. Blackman uses the sticks to pound Shamrock down and a big shot drops Shamrock again. A belly to back suplex out of the corner gives Shamrock a breather and he snaps off a powerslam. Blackman is back up with the kendo stick to strike Shamrock down and a big shot to the head knocks Shamrock silly (Lawler approves). For some reason Blackman won’t just leave though as Shamrock is back with a belly to belly. Some kendo stick shots knock Blackman cold and the referee calls it at 8:58.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t really wrestling for the most part but it was the right way to present two guys like this. It felt like a fight between two people with some unique talents and it wound up working. The violence worked and they didn’t go on too long to the point where it got ridiculous. In other words, the whole thing was nuts, but it was well booked nuts.

Earlier tonight, Shane McMahon attacked Test and banged up his ribs.

Test vs. Shane McMahon

This is a street fight and it’s Love Her Or Leave Her, meaning if Shane wins, Test has to break up with Stephanie McMahon but if Test wins, Shane has to stay out of their relationship. You can feel the Russo soap opera writing all over this one and in this case it still works. Hold on though as here is the rather injured Mean Street Posse to sit in the front row, much to Shane’s, ahem, surprise (he has no idea why the couch and lamp are waiting on them).

Test jumps him to start but Shane spears him down to go after the ribs and hammer away. Back up and Test knocks him to the floor, with the fight quickly heading into the crowd. Shane goes after the ribs but dives into a powerslam onto the floor. Test goes over to shove the Posse but gets champagne to the face to slow things back down. He can see well enough to throw Shane at the Posse and beat them up, only to have the numbers game catch up to him.

Rodney slams him onto the platform and Shane hits him with a mailbox, followed by a Do Not Enter sign. A framed picture of the Posse and Shane is broken over Test’s head so they can go back inside. An elbow to the face sets up Shane’s Spiral Tap (!), which only hits mat. Test gets in a powerbomb but Rodney’s distraction means it’s only a delayed two. The referee gets bumped (of course) and a running clothesline puts Shane on the floor again.

The Posse goes after Test again though and put him on the announcers’ table, setting up the REALLY flying elbow to put Test through the table (JR sells the heck out of it to make things better). Now the referee is back up so Rodney distracts him while the rest of the Posse throws Test inside. Why they need to distract the referee is beyond me but Test kicks out anyway.

Pete Gas hits Shane with a sign by mistake and Test gets two, with Joey Abs pulling Shane out at the last second. Rodney’s cast shot gets a very delayed two so here are the Stooges to beat up the Posse (the fans love that one). Shane misses a charge into the post and the pumphandle powerslam plants him again. Test’s top rope elbow finishes Shane at 12:12.

Rating: B. It went longer than it needed to and the Posse got involved once or twice too often, but dang this was fun. The Stooges getting involved at the end was great as the fans’ reaction made it even better. The fans were all the way into this one and carried it that much higher. It’s pure insane drama but they beat the fire out of each other and you know Shane is going to leave everything out there if he gets the chance. Good stuff here.

Post match Stephanie McMahon runs out to hug Test in a rather over the top celebration.

We recap the Unholy Alliance (Big Show/Undertaker) challenging X-Pac/Kane for the Tag Team Titles. X-Pac and Kane are the unlikely duo with the titles and Show/Undertaker are the big evil monsters. Show/Undertaker want to hurt everyone, including the champs, because they just like to beat people up.

X-Pac says this is a mismatch on paper but this isn’t paper. Kane’s inverted black and red gear makes this that much better.

Tag Team Titles: X-Pac/Kane vs. Unholy Alliance

The Alliance is challenging and has Paul Bearer with them. It’s a brawl to start with Show being knocked outside and X-Pac’s high crossbody getting two on Undertaker. The kickout sends X-Pac flying though and it’s already time for the beating. X-Pac gets in some right hands and hands it off to Kane for more of the same. Undertaker isn’t having that and knocks X-Pac silly but Kane breaks up a chokeslam on the floor.

Back in and Undertaker gets in that running DDT of his, allowing Show to come in for the rather loud chops. With the chopping not getting him very far, Show goes with the chokes and knee drops. A powerslam drops Kane again and it’s back to Undertaker, meaning it’s a double clothesline to leave them both down. X-Pac comes back in for the spinwheel kick, earning himself a right hand to the face.

They go outside with Undertaker crotching X-Pac on the post, followed by a low headbutt from Show to really emphasize the point. The bearhug goes on so X-Pac bites the nose and goes low on both monsters (works for the referee, who even winces at it). Kane comes back in and everything breaks down, with Undertaker getting knocked to the floor. X-Pac posts him but walking to Show’s chokeslam back inside. Show’s cover with one foot gets two but it’s a ticked off Undertaker with a Tombstone for the titles at 12:10.

Rating: C+. This went too long and while I do love seeing 1999 X-Pac get pummeled, it lost its charm by the end. There was pretty much no conceivable way for the champs to retain here and it made sense for the monsters to just turn it on and win in the end. X-Pac and Kane have grown on me a bit over the years and they were good as the big man/little man team. At some point the little man has to lose though and that’s what happened in the end here.

Steve Austin has no time to listen to Jesse Ventura.

Billy Gunn vs. The Rock

The loser has to give the winner a kiss in a certain area but Gunn brings out a lady (you can guess what she looks like) for Rock to kiss instead. Gunn jumps him to start and gets knocked outside for his efforts. Rock drags him to the entrance for a right hand as the referee is again fine with all of this. They trade rams into the barricade until Gunn is sent into the Lion’s Den cage.

Back at ringside and Gunn sends him into the steps, followed by a bell shot as they actually go inside (after about five minutes on the floor). A neckbreaker cuts off Rock’s comeback and Gunn drops an elbow on the apron. Back in and Gunn’s bulldog gets a rather delayed two so Rock hits that running clothesline out of the corner. The Maivia Hurricane drops Gunn again and they’re both down.

Rock’s swinging neckbreaker gets two but Gunn is right back with a heck of a Fameasser. Instead of covering though, Gunn brings the woman in and she leans over in the corner. You know exactly where this is going and the disgusted Gunn is Rock Bottomed and People’s Elbowed for the pin at 10:12.

Rating: C. This was all about setting up one screwy ending and there was no reason to believe that the Rock was going to leave here. That’s not the most thrilling thing, but it’s better than trying to take a man named Mr. A** seriously. It’s not terrible, but this was more about the comedy and that made for a long ten minutes. Gunn is a talented wrestler. He just wasn’t going to be a big deal with this gimmick no matter how much he was pushed.

And then there’s no kiss after the match. What a ripoff.

We recap the WWF Title match and….yeah this was a lot. So WWF Champion Steve Austin was attacked and Chyna became #1 contender but then Mankind became the #1 contender but then HHH became the #1 contender as well thanks to two guest referees. It was so bad that Linda McMahon got involved to announce the triple threat title match. Got all that? Yeah it doesn’t really matter because it’s 1999 and a lot of stuff didn’t wind up mattering.

WWF Title: Steve Austin vs. Mankind vs. HHH

Austin is defending, Chyna is here with HHH and Jesse Ventura is guest referee. Before the match, Ventura grabs the mic and says that he has been criticized for doing this. He’s proud that he was a wrestler and he’s proud to be here tonight. Here here indeed. HHH jumps Austin on the way in but gets taken outside by Mankind. Austin gets in a clothesline on HHH as JR sounds surprised by Austin and Mankind having chemistry (a rare miss to not bring up them being former Tag Team Champions).

Back in and HHH gets double teamed some more with Mankind hitting the running knee lift…but hugging Austin. He earns the ensuing right hands from Austin but the Stunner is blocked, with Austin being sent into HHH. The two of them head outside with Austin dropping Mankind with a clothesline but getting jumped by HHH. A chair to the leg has Austin down and Ventura asks the crowd if HHH uses the chair. Chyna crotches Mankind against the post and that means an ejection, much to HHH and Chyna’s annoyance.

Austin is back up so HHH wraps the knee around the post and then gets in a chop block as Mankind is down in the other corner. Back up and Mankind actually helps HHH double stomp Austin in the corner, which has the fans confused. Austin sends Mankind outside but HHH wraps the knee around the post again to cut that off. HHH gets pulled into the post and they all fight into the crowd, with Austin taking over again. Back in and HHH is catapulted into Mankind, who gets dropped with the Stunner.

HHH makes the save with a chair and then chairs Mankind down but Ventura shakes his head no. Instead Ventura just soaks in some cheers and then says no again, making sure to motion HHH using a chair so the fans get the idea. Here is Shane McMahon to yell at Ventura but Austin is up to give Shane the Stunner.

Ventura throws Shane over the top and yells about how that’s for Shane’s old man (my goodness if there was a way to book a Vince vs. Jesse match, it could have been amazing in so many ways). Austin and HHH clothesline each other but Mankind is back up with a double Mandible Claw. HHH kicks him low and tries a pedigree, with Austin breaking it up. The Stunner hits HHH but Mankind makes a save of his own. HHH Pedigrees Austin but Mankind jumps HHH and grabs the double arm DDT to pin Austin for the title at 16:43.

Rating: B. This was a good match with Ventura being the real highlight, as he felt like he understood the assignment and lived up to the expectations. Austin losing the title isn’t a bad thing as his body was falling apart at this point and he needed the break, but points for him taking the fall in the middle of the ring. Ventura was the big deal here, but the other three worked hard and made it work, even with Austin being so banged up.

Post match Ventura and Mankind leave so HHH destroys Austin’s knee with a chair. Austin is done to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. There are some rough spots in the middle but I liked this for the most part, with the main event and street fight both working. You could tell Russo was still doing a lot of stuff here, but the talent involved was good enough that it could overcome a lot of the insanity. It was a good enough show and if you get rid of some of the weaker midcard stuff, it could have been that much better.

Results
Jeff Jarrett b. D’Lo Brown – Guitar shot from Mark Henry
The Acolytes won Tag Team Turmoil last eliminating the Hollys
Al Snow b. Big Boss Man – Pool balls shot
Ivory b. Tori – Sitdown splash
Ken Shamrock b. Steve Blackman via knockout
Test b. Shane McMahon – Top rope elbow
Unholy Alliance b. X-Pac/Kane – Tombstone to X-Pac
The Rock b. Billy Gunn – People’s Elbow
Mankind b. HHH and Steve Austin – Double arm DDT to Austin

 

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Summerslam 1998
Date: August 30, 1998
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 21,588
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is the Summerslam you guys requested that I do for the third time and I’m very glad that you picked a good one. 1998 was the year where the WWF really turned things around in the Monday Night Wars and Summerslam was the biggest show of the year, easily surpassing a two match show at Wrestlemania. The main event here is Undertaker vs. Austin for the title, but there are questions about Undertaker’s loyalties to Vince and Kane. Let’s get to it.

Unfortunately the opening video isn’t the one set to AC/DC but instead a well done video of Austin wondering if Undertaker and Kane are in cahoots (I love that word) against him. Vince has guaranteed that Undertaker will win the title with Kane helping him out tonight.

Before the first match, we get a quick announcement that Austin attacked a hearse that either Kane or Undertaker might have been inside. Thank goodness this is 1998 because today we’d get a series of videos from WWE.com and the YouTube channel showing how it happened and speculation over who was in it and words from 10 people on what it means. Instead just mention it here and move on because there’s other stuff to get to than a million recaps.

The entrance is a black gate over a red background with smoke in the aisle, directly opposite the hard camera. That’s such a cool visual and it works really well here.

European Title: D’Lo Brown vs. Val Venis

Brown is defending in a match that doesn’t have any real backstory, but it does have a sixth minute time limit. I love the name graphic covering Val’s gyrating crotch. Val’s pre-match speech is about coming, seeing and coming again. Brown is billed from Helsinki because he’s a real European.

Venis tries to chop the champ but hurts his arm on the chest protector, because of a very slow healing injury. A Russian legsweep works a bit better and Brown bails to the floor. That means it’s time to gyrate and the high pitched screams suggest it worked well. Back in and a spinebuster gets two on Brown as we see the mysterious rookie Edge watching from the crowd.

Venis misses a splash and since JR is JR, he points out that the splash would have hurt Val even more because of the chest protector. Brown gets in his first big move with an (appropriately) Irish whip into the corner to put Venis down. Back up and an overhead t-bone suplex of all things gives Val a breather, only to have the champ slam him down and drop a leg for two. JR gives us a great stat: Brown is 27 and Venis is 26. It’s a really good idea to bring up how young these guys are, especially when they’re doing well like this.

Another slam stays on Val’s back and Brown is smart enough to slap on a Texas cloverleaf for some psychology. D’Lo slams him again with Lawler saying “here comes some more!”, which I think was a soundbyte in WWF Attitude, a Nintendo 64 game. Val goes up but dives into a modified Sky High for no cover as Brown took himself out too. A DDT plants Val (really good one too) for a near fall and the New York fans are appreciating this match.

Brown goes up but opts for the second rope, allowing Venis to catch him in a powerslam for another near fall. Val drops him with a butterfly suplex but the Money Shot hits knees. You would think hitting the chest protector would have hurt just as much but close enough at least. Brown can’t get him up for a powerbomb and almost drops Val on the back of his head in a scary spot.

The second attempt gives us a Liger Bomb, allowing the referee to make sure Val doesn’t have a broken neck. The champ misses the Low Down (Lawler: “How does Val Venis continue to rise up like that?) and they slug it out from their knees. Val finally wakes up and takes off the chest protector, only to put it on himself. The referee isn’t pleased and accidentally crotches Venis on top, causing Val to shove him down for the DQ.

Rating: B. This is one of the biggest “WHERE DID THAT COME FROM” moments in wrestling history as both guys had the match of their lives here but never got close to it again. They were just beating the tar out of each other out there and working as hard as I’ve ever seen them go, making for one heck of an opener and a borderline classic. Give this an ending and it’s even higher.

Venis beats up the referee and gives him the Money Shot post match.

Mankind laments the destruction of the hearse and plugs the Brisco Brothers Body Shop. Maybe he can use his sledgehammer after all.

Kai En Tai vs. Oddities

This is a 4-3 handicap match but more importantly, the Insane Clown Posse play the Oddities to the ring and blow the roof off the place. As usual, Kurrgan dancing badly is one of my favorite things in wrestling due to how serious his face looks. Golga (the 6’8, 450lb Earthquake) starts with Light Heavyweight Champion Taka Michinoku and all four Kai En Tai members are destroyed in about eight seconds.

Golga steals Yamaguchi-San’s (Kai En Tai’s manager) shoes and almost falls down from the smell. Kurrgan comes in to face Funaki and is nice enough to get on his knees so they can be the same height. I always appreciate a polite dancing monster. Kurrgan throws all four of them around just as easily as Golga did as this isn’t going well for the Japanese contingent. Off to Giant Silva, who is about 4 inches taller than Kurrgan, who could look down at Undertaker.

All four try Silva at the same time and the Oddities go 3-3 in their dominance. Silva puts all four of them in the corner before his partners come in to help whip everyone across the ring. Now it’s Taka being launched over the top onto the other three. This is getting hilarious with how one sided it is. Funaki and Men’s Teioh come in and double dropkick Golga before actually slamming him down.

Four straight top rope splashes keep Golga in trouble and four straight legdrops get no cover. The referee is fine with letting all four of them in there but can you blame him at this point? Golga clotheslines all four of them at once (that looked cool) and all three Oddities come in, leaving Yamaguchi-San to get beaten up by Luna Vachon. A triple quadruple chokeslam lets Golga pin all four men at once for the win.

Rating: C+. I know they’re not very good and they were never going anywhere, but I’ll always have a soft spot for the Oddities. They’re a total guilty pleasure for me but I have such a good time watching them. It’s an act where you know what you should be getting and that’s exactly what you got. Total comedy match here but I had fun.

Jeff Jarrett vs. X-Pac

This is hair vs. hair with Howard Finkel in X-Pac’s corner due to Jarrett and his cronies Southern Justice (the heel Godwinns, in an even worse gimmick) shaved his hair earlier in the night. We even get Howard doing the crotch chop to really pop the crowd. Jarrett is told to suck it and goes after X-Pac to start, only to get kicked in the face to send him outside, followed by a nice middle rope plancha.

Jeff tries a sunset flip back inside but X-Pac just steps to the side. I don’t remember seeing that anywhere else but it’s a very smart counter. X-Pac is very talented in the ring, all of his outside the ring shenanigans aside. Things get a bit too quick though and X-Pac gets crotched against the post to stop his momentum cold.

Back in and a powerslam gets two for Jeff as they’re keeping this quick enough to not bore the New York crowd with Jarrett’s Memphis style. We hit the sleeper on X-Pac and it’s so strange to hear Fink’s familiar voice as a cheerleader. X-Pac does the same sequence to counter the sleeper that has happened in every Jeff Jarrett match ever but Jeff puts him on the top instead of suplexing him down.

The middle rope cross body misses, just like the spinwheel kick and Jarrett is in trouble. Like any good southern villain with his opponent on the mat, Jeff slaps on a figure four, despite not touching X-Pac’s legs so far. A rope is quickly grabbed and now the belly to back puts Jarrett down but X-Pac can’t follow up.

Jarrett gets two off a high cross body but his leapfrog is countered into a sitout powerbomb for the same. A Bronco Buster attempt hits a raised boot but Finkel distracts the referee (Fink: “HE KICKED HIM IN THE BALLS!”), allowing X-Pac to hit a quick X Factor for no cover. Instead here’s Southern Justice to slide in a guitar but the distraction lets X-Pac take it away from Jeff and knock him silly for the pin.

Rating: C+. It’s another match where both guys were working hard to get a pretty uninteresting match over and that’s exactly what they did. Jarrett is in his element here as a bully midcarder who gets his comeuppance at the hands of a popular act. Read as: NOT A MAIN EVENT WORLD TITLE CONTENDER.

The New Age Outlaws, Droz and the Headbangers come out to make sure Jarrett gets his hair shaved. Jeff arguing with the referee about the guitar as he’s held in the chair is great stuff.

Doc Hendrix previews the Lion’s Den, a UFC knockoff.

Rock is pleased by attacking HHH’s knee on Sunday Night Heat earlier in the night. We get a guarantee that Rock is retaining the title tonight, if you smell what he’s cooking. Kevin Kelly: “Well there you ha….” Rock: “Shut up.”

Sable/??? vs. Jacqueline/Marc Mero

Sable needs a mystery partner to help her out here after Mero dumped her for Jacqueline. This led to some contests between the two with Jacqueline getting the upper hand most of the time due to a combination of Mero and, you know, being a wrestler. Sable comes to the ring alone but introduces her partner as…..Edge. The guys get things going with Mero stomping away in the corner until Edge comes back with some Japanese armdrags.

Lawler isn’t sure if this is Edge or The Edge. Jacqueline comes in so Sable demands a tag, sending Jacqueline scurrying off to the floor. It’s back to the guys but Jacqueline grabs Edge’s leg to let Mero take over again. Edge escapes the TKO and takes Mero down with a DDT to give himself a breather. The double tag brings in the women and it’s catfight time. A chase sends Jacqueline to the floor but Mero is waiting on Sable.

That’s fine with her as she loads up a powerbomb, only to have Jacqueline jump her to take over again. That earns Jacqueline a half decent TKO but it’s Mero making a save this time. Back up and Jacqueline hits Mero by mistake, giving Sable the opening to fix her hair. Edge comes in and dives on Mero to fire the crowd up again. Jacqueline gets a spanking to keep them rolling, followed by a high cross body for two on Marc.

More heel miscommunication puts Jacqueline on the floor and Mero gets crotched on top. Sable busts out a top rope hurricanrana for two, followed by the worst “accidental falling headbutt into a low blow” from Jacqueline to Mero. Edge plants Mero with the Downward Spiral (actually called that) and picks Sable up for a splash to give her the pin.

Rating: D. Yeah I still don’t care for this one. Sable was a very popular character and it made sense to put her on this show, but it’s still not a good match. Edge getting a big spot like this is a nice touch, but it’s still not an interesting match or story. Thankfully the Sable vs. Mero stuff would wrap up soon after this and Edge would go on to be part of the Brood.

Mankind is told that Kane can’t be his partner tonight so maybe he should just forfeit the titles. If the fans want their money’s worth though, maybe Michael Cole can be his partner. Or better yet, maybe Mankind can go play in the traffic. Vince comes in and brings up Mankind hitchhiking to Madison Square Garden as a teenager. The boss thinks Mankind can defend the titles against the Outlaws on his own, even though he doesn’t have a sledgehammer.

Vince hands him what looks like a candelabra and a cookie sheet. That’s enough to inspire Mankind and he has thirteen words for the Outlaws: “How much would would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?” Well no one ever accused Foley of making the most sense. I have no idea why but I always loved this segment as Mankind was so perfect for this character and Vince manipulating him was always entertaining.

We recap Owen Hart vs. Ken Shamrock, which is more about Dan Severn and his manly mustache against Shamrock in a UFC feud. Severn was Owen’s trainer and taught him how to fight with submissions, setting up the Lion’s Den match here.

Owen Hart vs. Ken Shamrock

This is in a small theater adjacent to MSG. The match is held in a small, circular cage which is about as blatant of a ripoff of a UFC cage as you can get. You win by submission or knockout. Hart is a member of the Nation but Severn is the only person here with him. Shamrock easily takes him down to start until Owen counters into a leglock. Ken gets dropped with a spinebuster but floats over and unloads with right hands.

A low blow is shrugged off as well and Shamrock takes Owen’s head off with a clothesline. The cage starts coming into play with Shamrock climbing the cage into another clothesline, only to miss a charge into the steel. The fans are entirely behind Shamrock as he gets thrown face first against the cage. Lawler isn’t sure what to call the structure. JR: “How about the Lion’s Den?” Lawler: “Uh, ok.” Owen can’t piledrive him and his hurricanrana is countered into a nice powerbomb.

Both guys are bleeding from the face and Owen scores with a powerslam and a nice belly to belly. The Sharpshooter is on but Ken crawls over and climbs the cage to escape in a nice counter. Something like a tornado DDT out of the corner drops Owen but he grabs the dragon sleeper, only to have Shamrock climb the cage and roll over into the ankle lock for the submission.

Rating: C+. Again, they tried something different here, even though it was just a glorified cage match. Both guys were trying hard out there, which really is a theme for the show so far. Shamrock looked like a gladiator, but it really doesn’t need to set up a feud with Severn. At the end of the day, neither guy can talk and one of them is Dan Severn, so how far can this really go?

Austin will do whatever it takes to retain the title tonight.

Tag Team Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Mankind

Mankind is defending on his own and comes out with a big metal dumpster because this is a hardcore match. The Outlaws are in South Park shirts, which still look weird at this point. Mankind and Billy duel with chairs until Road Dogg sneaks in from behind to take over. They start cracking Mankind in the head with whatever metal objects they can find but a swinging neckbreaker on the floor gets two on Gunn.

That earns Mankind more double teaming and a ram into the side of the dumpster. It’s table time back inside, but it’s one of those old tables that looks a bit more realistic that the common ones. Billy is sent through it as well though and Mankind has a breather. Lawler is freaking out because Vince might have been right but a reverse 3D drops the champ again. A double powerbomb through two open chairs only gets two and Dogg stops to jaw with the referee. Instead it’s a spike piledriver onto the belt to give the Outlaws the titles back.

Rating: D+. There isn’t much to talk about here as this was a glorified squash for obvious reasons. Mankind is a tough guy but having him beat a top level team like the Outlaws on his own would have been way too much. This also sets up more stuff with Kane for Mankind so what else can you really ask for?

The Outlaws put Mankind in the dumpster but Kane is inside, sledgehammer in hand. With Mankind out of camera range, Kane slams the hammer down into the dumpster and everyone goes silent.

We recap HHH vs. Rock, which was disguised as DX vs. the Nation. Rock won almost every major match leading to this final blowoff, including costing HHH the European Title. Tonight it’s a ladder match for Rock’s Intercontinental Title, which he’s held for a remarkable nine months. The only solution was to hold the title above the ring and channel Shawn vs. Razor at Wrestlemania X.

Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. HHH

Rock is defending and of course this is a ladder match. Chris Warren and the DX Band sings HHH to the ring because 1998 was a time when people actually knew who Chris War was. HHH destroys the band’s equipment for reasons that aren’t exactly clear but here’s the Rock to turn things serious. The seconds here are Chyna and Mark Henry, which aren’t exactly fair. I mean, at this point Chyna was kind of awesome and Henry was…..well he was Mark Henry. The title isn’t hung above the ring yet so we have to wait a few seconds for it to go up.

Rock drops a few F Bombs before it’s time to slug it out. A big clothesline puts Rock down and HHH hammers away, followed by the facebuster. Neither finisher can hit and HHH is backdropped over the top to give HHH a reason to limp on his legitimately bad knee. They slug it out in the aisle with HHH getting the better of it but limping back inside so Rock can hammer away again.

It’s already time to go for the ladder but instead of just picking it up, Rock whips HHH face first into the ladder instead. Why bother with anything but violence if you don’t have to? Rock starts a climb but HHH dives off the top to break it up, only to have the ladder fall onto his back. There isn’t much effect though (HHH is allowed to no sell at least once in every big match) and HHH climbs up, only to get nailed in the knee to bring him back down.

Rock goes in after the knee with elbows before realizing he has a ladder at his disposal. The leg gets crushed between the ladder but now it’s time for a chair to crush it even worse. He wraps the leg around the post as well before driving the knee into the ladder for good measure. Ever the cocky one, Rock climbs up as slowly as he can, allowing HHH to knock the ladder over for the save.

You don’t cut the Rock off on the second rung though so he takes HHH and the ladder to the floor for a catapult into the steel. I’m sure it happened at some point before but someone should catapult the ladder into a person instead. Rock keeps it going by backdropping HHH onto the ladder and this is getting ugly.

Henry thinks (yes seriously) the ladder is too busted up so he throws in another so Rock can climb faster. Chyna forearms Henry in the face, allowing HHH to dive in for the save. A baseball slide puts the ladder into Rock’s face and HHH has his first control in a long time. The bloody Rock is able to pull the ladder down again before setting the second ladder on the top rope. I don’t see this ending well, but that could be because I’ve seen this many times.

HHH is smart enough to break up whatever Rock had in mind though and plants him with a DDT. They climb the ladder again and Rock shoves him down and into the ladder in the corner, only to have HHH bounce into the standing ladder to knock Rock throat first into the top rope. Rock is up first and grabs a ladder, only to have HHH blast it with a chair over and over to get a breather.

Back up and Rock wins a slugout before slamming HHH onto the ladder for the People’s Elbow. Neither guy can follow up though and it’s HHH climbing first, only to dive into a Rock Bottom for no logically explained reason. HHH is able to get up again and pulls Rock (and his trunks) down, followed by the big Pedigree to give himself the best chance he’s had all match. As he’s getting up though, Henry throws powder in his face. The blind HHH climbs, only to get punched in the face by Rock. This brings in Chyna for a low blow on Rock, allowing HHH to finally pull down the belt to win.

Rating: A. This is one of my favorite matches of all time and it still more than holds up. It’s a match that launched both guys up the ladder to the next level with HHH becoming an upper midcarder and Rock becoming a main eventer who would pick up the World Title in November. The key thing here though is they focused on the wrestlers and the drama instead of the ladder and the spots, which almost always make for the best matches. Check this one out if you want a great brawl with some awesome back and forth action which meant a great deal going forward.

We get some exclusive home video footage of Rock stumbling to the back and swearing revenge that wouldn’t come for years. He’s still the People’s Champ.

Quick recap of Undertaker vs. Austin, minus the awesome video package, which is built around where Undertaker’s loyalties lie. He may or may not be in league with both Kane and Vince, but there’s no actual proof either way. It feels like a conspiracy against Austin, which really isn’t all that shocking when you consider who he had gone to war with all summer.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. Undertaker

Austin is defending. They get in each other’s faces to start before trading wristlocks. A rollup with tights gets two for the champ and he puts on a Fujiwara armbar of all things. It’s off to a regular armbar as Austin could never look right with a technical hold like a Fujiwara armbar. Then disaster strikes as Undertaker ducks his head and gets kicked in the face, only to have Undertaker snap his head up and nail Austin in the jaw, knocking him silly for the rest of the match.

Once Austin can stand again, a quick Thesz press attempt is countered into a hot shot for two as you can see Austin is WAY off. Undertaker slowly punches and stomps away but Austin is coherent enough to go after the leg and wrap it around the post. It’s not enough though as Undertaker comes back with the running clothesline and some good old fashioned choking. Old School is easily broken up and it’s back to the knee as there’s only so much they can do here aside from striking.

Cue Kane as a 3:16 chant starts up. The distraction lets the referee make sure Austin knows what planet he’s on but Undertaker tells Kane to head back because he wants to do this himself. Austin goes after Undertaker on the floor again but takes too much time, setting up a nearly falling chokeslam from the apron back inside. Undertaker can’t cover though, allowing Austin to clothesline him out to the floor and right onto that bad knee.

They brawl up the aisle and into the crowd, which is probably best for Austin as it’s a lot less complicated for a scrambled brain to deal with. Undertaker backdrops him onto the concrete as the knee seems fine. Austin goes spine first into the post, heads back inside, and is promptly thrown right back to the floor in an awkward landing. It’s time for the big spot as Undertaker lays Austin onto the announcers’ table and heads up top for a HUGE legdrop, crushing Austin but not the table for maybe the biggest spot Undertaker has ever done.

Somehow it only gets two, which is only right as Undertaker’s foot was under the bottom rope. You would expect a better enforcement of the rules from Earl Hebner. This time it’s Undertaker missing a charge into the corner and running into a double clothesline to put both guys down. It’s time for the hero comeback with Austin winning a slugout and hitting the Thesz press. Something like the Stunner is mostly botched as Undertaker falls backwards with Austin landing on top of him for two.

Undertaker comes back with the chokeslam but Austin escapes the tombstone. They have an awkward exchange in the corner with Austin getting crotched on the top rope, followed by a Russian legsweep from Undertaker to put both guys down. Old School is loaded up again but Undertaker dives into a low blow, setting up the Stunner to retain Austin’s title.

Rating: B-. This is a really hard one to grade after the injury to Austin. It’s much more a collection of spots loosely tied together instead of a match, but the big spots worked well enough and Austin won as clean as he was going to win in a main event match in 1998. It’s also really nice to not have all the interference for a change because that was the norm for so long at this point. Good match, but it’s definitely a few steps beneath Austin’s usual greatness.

Undertaker hands the belt to Austin and Kane comes out to stand by his brother’s side to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Oh yeah it still holds up. This is a great show with some awesome matches that capped off stories while also setting up some stuff for the future. Above all else though it felt like a major show, which isn’t really the case at any other show all year. It’s still one of the best Summerslams and a show you kind of have to see at least once.

Ratings Comparison

Val Venis vs. D’Lo Brown

Original: B

Redo: C+

2015 Redo: B

Oddities vs. Kai En Tai

Original: C-

Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C+

Jeff Jarrett vs. X-Pac

Original: B

Redo: C

2015 Redo: C+

Marc Mero/Jacqueline vs. Sable/Edge

Original: F

Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D

Ken Shamrock vs. Owen Hart

Original: B-

Redo: B

2015 Redo: C+

Mankind vs. New Age Outlaws

Original: D+

Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

HHH vs. The Rock

Original: A+

Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A

Steve Austin vs. Undertaker

Original: B-

Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: A-

2015 Redo: B

This is a good example of why I don’t do a third take of shows very often. Most of the ratings are either the same or really close to the same with the World Title and Tag Team Title matches having the same rating every time. I think we’ve found my definitive take on those matches and I really don’t have anything else to say about most of them. I’ll do a different Summerslam next year and a fresh review of each of the big four every year though, as it’s a fun thing to look back at, especially a good show like this one.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/01/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1998-the-biggest-summerslam-ever/

And the original redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/03/summerslam-count-up-1998-rock-and-hhh-ascend/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 13, 2008
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on Cyber Sunday and the Raw main event has already been announced. Chris Jericho will defend the World Title against Batista but there are some options for guest referee. That should make for a main theme this week, though the pay per view will need a bit more than that one match. We’ll probably get some of it here so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Chris Jericho is in Mike Adamle’s office and complains about the Cyber Sunday title match. Adamle isn’t having this and says that he’s making another decision. Tonight, Jericho and Batista are both going to wrestle and they get to pick the other’s opponents. Jericho isn’t impressed and threatens McMahon involvement, but Adamle says Shane and Stephanie turn their phones off during Raw (Since when?). With that no longer an option, Jericho storms off and runs into Jamie Noble with Candice Michelle and Mickie James. The women are both texting someone and Jericho…keeps walking.

Here is Jericho in the ring to complain to Shane and Stephanie McMahon about Randy Orton, Shawn Michaels and Steve Austin as the options for guest referee. None of those are fair to him and he knows Austin would Stun him to take the title away due to all of the times he’s bragged about beating Austin and Rock in one night (fair).

After a quick slip by saying he shouldn’t have an unbiased official (though he does save it so quickly that it was barely noticeable), Jericho calls the whole thing unfair but here is Shawn Michaels to interrupt. Michaels is rather serious and says he would love to say he’d be a perfect referee so he could count Jericho as the winner and then beat him for the title. The reality though is that he would make Jericho’s match a nightmare. For now though, he’s going to do what Barack Obama and John McCain would love to do to each other, and the beating is on. Jericho bails and makes Michaels vs. Batista for tonight. Makes sense.

You can pick the stipulation for Kane vs. Rey Mysterio at Cyber Sunday. Your choices are No Holds Barred, Falls Count Anywhere and 2/3 Falls. That’s more like it as No Holds Barred or Falls Count Anywhere could both win.

Rey Mysterio/Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry/Kane

Hardy strikes away at Henry to start and even gets in the middle rope elbow to the back of the neck. The Twist Of Fate is blocked though and Kane gets in a distraction so Henry can run Hardy over. The neck crank goes on and the villains get to take some turns beating on Hardy. Kane’s chinlock is broken up and Hardy gets in a DDT, allowing the tag off to Mysterio. The basement dropkick hits Kane and a spinning reverse DDT puts him down again. There’s the 619 but as Henry and Hardy fight to the back. Mysterio tries a dive off the top but gets booted out of the air for the pin.

Rating: C+. I love seeing two feuds advanced at once and they did it well here. Hardy vs. Henry is probably about to wrap up while Kane vs. Mysterio seems to still have some juice left. That should make for a good double feature at the pay per view, assuming Henry is the one getting the title shot.

Batista thinks Chris Jericho was smart to pick him as Shawn Michaels’ opponent. He respects Michaels as a competitor, but if Michaels tries to take him out, he’ll beat Michaels to the punch.

Here is JBL for a match but first, he wants to thank Congress for their recent bailout. He’s so happy because there will always be poor people but the rich must be taken care of at all costs. JBL is a rare American success story and a real American. I think you know where this is going.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Haas Hogan

JBL punches him down like the diminishing joke that Haas is but gets dropped by three right hands and a big boot. The Clothesline From JBL finishes Haas in a hurry.

Some of the Jackass guys are here and have no idea how various content making fun of the Great Khali made it onto their website. Now bring on the midgets!

John Cena is recovering from surgery and a lot of wrestlers think he’s rather spiffy. Oh and his brother likes him too.

Here is Randy Orton for a chat. He finds it interesting that he didn’t get kind words like that when he was injured. Sure he finished his match with HHH with a broken collarbone but no one cared because he’s not John Cena (“Thank God”.). He doesn’t want you to vote for him so he won’t get hurt so close to his return. Either way, he’ll be World Champion again, like it or not. Well that’s not how these things usually go but it does fit for Orton.

Batista vs. Shawn Michaels

Hold on though as Chris Jericho pops up on screen to say this is going to be a lumberjack match. A bunch of villains surround the ring and we’re ready to go. Well after a break that is and we’re joined in progress with Batista knocking Michaels outside, only for Michaels to come back in for a Figure Four.

That’s broken up so Michaels chops away in the corner, earning himself a heck of a clothesline. A powerslam gives Batista two and he grabs a rear naked choke. Michaels slips out and hammers away, earning himself one heck of a backdrop for two. The choke goes on again before Batista just hits him in the back for a change.

Michaels grabs a rollup for two and tries a superkick but gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl slam for two instead. Batista sends him outside for a bearhug from Mark Henry and we take a break. We come back with Batista holding his own bearhug, only to miss a charge out to the floor. Batista beats up various lumberjacks and comes back inside, where Michaels knocks him down. They both crash out to the floor though and the lumberjacks swarm for the double DQ.

Rating: B-. The match was fine but you knew the lumberjacks were going to do something. You don’t want either of them to lose (especially Batista) so having a bunch of people run in was a good save. On top of that, Jericho would be happy for the two of them to get beaten up and that was probably his plan all along.

Post match the brawl is on with Batista and Michaels clearing the ring before showing each other some respect. Chris Jericho is rather annoyed in the back.

Here are Santino Marella and Beth Phoenix for a chat. Marella isn’t thrilled with having to face Goldust, Roddy Piper or the Honky Tonky Man at Cyber Sunday. They’re all perverted you see. Eh kind of yeah. That brings Marella to the Jackass stars at ringside, with Marella inviting them into the ring. Johnny Knoxville refers to Phoenix as a dude because…well because she needs a reason to slam him (and not very well either, which I’m assuming is due to Knoxville not being a wrestler).

Marella and Phoenix leave so here is Hornswoggle as this is going to be an odd segment. Hornswoggle tadpole splashes Knoxville so here is Big Dick Johnson to dance, with one of Knoxville’s friends stripping and dancing as well. Cue the Boogeyman of all people to give said friend the worms. Knoxville gets up and here is Great Khali for the chokebomb. This was in fact a Jackass WWE segment and it went on for a good while.

JTG finds and keeps a Mighty Ducks hockey mask in the back.

Here are Miz and John Morrison to “rap” about Cryme Tyme. They even throw in Jillian Hall to sing as only she can (thank goodness). And yeah Miz and Morrison get that she’s bad.

Cryme Tyme/Kelly Kelly vs. Miz/John Morrison/Jillian Hall

Hall forearms away at Kelly to start so Kelly springboards away for a clothesline. Miz comes in to catapult JTG into a forearm from Morrison, whose neckbreaker gets two. JTG fights up and brings in Gaspard to clean house as everything breaks down. Everything breaks down and JTG hits Morrison in the back with the hockey mask to give Gaspard the pin.

Rating: C-. It was short, it wasn’t very good, and it was mainly about the hockey mask, which was just there for the sake of playing to the local fans. Miz and Morrison vs. Cryme Tyme is funny enough because Miz and Morrison know how to make themselves look like morons but the Kelly vs. Hall stuff isn’t exactly as thrilling. At least it was short though.

Chris Jericho vs. ???

Non-title and Batista’s handpicked opponent is….CM Punk. Oh and hold on because here is Batista himself to be guest referee. Punk grabs an early rollup to start so Jericho tries to leave, earning a trip right back to the ring. That’s fine with Punk, who ties him up with a choke in the ropes and Batista is fine with leaving him alone.

Punk knocks him down again but gets pulled off the ropes to give Jericho a breather. The chinlock goes on for a bit but Jericho’s running bulldog is shoved into the corner. The GTS is blocked as well though and a Codebreaker gets two…as Batista has something in his eyes. Batista, who is of course blind, Batista Bombs Jericho and Punk gives a “sure why not” look before getting the pin.

Rating: B-. This went well enough for a short match where you knew exactly what was going to happen. That’s not a bad thing either, as they didn’t bother hiding the idea and just rolled with it. Batista got his revenge on Jericho and Punk didn’t look like a loser so I’ll take this to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. They were in a rough spot here and they made it work out well enough. The problem with Cyber Sunday is you have so many details being officially set up the night of the show, even down to some of the matches themselves. That makes building things up a bit tricky, but they did a good enough job with the World Title picture. It’s certainly not a show you need to see, but it could have been a lot worse.

 

 

Head over to my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com with thousands of reviews from around the world and throughout wrestling history.

Summerslam 1996
Date: August 18, 1996
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Mr. Perfect

This is not the best time for the WWF as the company has been dealing with the NWO for the last month and a half. Shawn Michaels is doing as much as he can and is doing it again here as he defends the WWF Title against Vader in the main event. Other than that though, we have a Boiler Room Brawl between the Undertaker and Mankind. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Steve Austin vs. Yokozuna

We’ll throw in a bonus here for a somewhat infamous match. Austin hammers away to start and gets knocked down without much trouble. A Samoan drop and legdrop put Austin down and the Banzai Drop is loaded up….but the ropes break and Yokozuna falls down, allowing Austin to get the fast pin at 1:53. Well that got the point across. Vince: “HE IS SO HEAVY!” Yeah that.

The opening video looks at the two main events, which is about fighting the monsters of Mankind and Vader. Makes sense.

Commentary previews the show and a fan actually comes up asking Perfect for an autograph, which he shoves off without saying a word. Even Vince seems to glare at the guy a bit.

Savio Vega vs. Owen Hart

Hart has a cast on his left wrist, with Vince and JR questioning how slowly it has healed. Feeling out process to start with neither getting very far, though the referee does threaten Hart for using the cast. Vega leapfrogs him and sends the cast into various buckles, followed by an armbar.

We cut to the back where Jim Cornette (Hart’s manager) is helping Vader warm up as Vega stays on the arm. There are some fans loudly chanting for Owen, though Vega taking him down by the arm quiets them down a bit. Hart gets up and manages to send him shoulder first into the corner, allowing the stomping to ensue. Vega gets caught in an armbar for a change before Hart switches into an armbar from a different angle for a change of pace. A bite to the leg of all things gets Vega out so Hart ties the arm up in the ropes and slaps him in the face.

Cue Clarence Mason (Jim Cornette’s lawyer) to watch as Vega misses a spinwheel kick but hits a crossbody for two. Back up and Hart’s enziguri connects as Mason is playing cheerleader. Hart’s rollup with feet on the ropes gets two, as does Vega’s rollup. Vega gets up a spinning kick to the face in the corner and a legdrop gets two.

Hart is right back with a kick of his own, followed by a missile dropkick for two of his own. It’s time to go up again but this time Hart gets crotched, setting up a belly to back superplex. Vega seems to land on the cast though, allowing Hart to take it off and knock Vega cold. Somehow the referee didn’t see it, despite it being right in front of his face, and the Sharpshooter goes on to give Hart the win at 13:25.

Rating: C+. Fine enough opener as Hart is always worth a look, though Vega was reaching the end of his usefulness by this point. There’s nothing wrong with having two faster paced guys getting out there to start the show, though trimming a few minutes off here wouldn’t have hurt either. The cast shot at the end didn’t do it any favors either, as there was no reason to believe the referee didn’t see it.

Post match here is Justin Hawk Bradshaw to yell about Vega, who Bradshaw wants to send back to “that island”. Bradshaw gets in a cheap shot on Vega in the aisle to leave him laying again.

Todd Pettingill is scared of being in the boiler room, where he runs into Mankind, who insists that there is no place like home. Undertaker can come in, but beware that he will be seeing a fate worse than death. Mankind licks a pipe.

Tag Team Titles: New Rockers vs. Smoking Gunns vs. Godwinns vs. Bodydonnas

The Gunns, with Sunny, are defending with elimination rules. Skip (of the Bodydonnas) has a neck brace due to a fractured vertebrae. Meanwhile, the Godwinns have Hillbilly Jim, a pig and a basset hound, because Vince McMahon had a thing for hillbillies. Billy and Henry start things off with Henry running him over with a shoulder. A clothesline does it as well and Phineas comes in to throw Zip around.

Billy wants the people to sit down and shut up…so Phineas and Zip tag in both Gunns. Sunny panics as commentary talks about how they have to make contact. This is then proven wrong as Bart tags out to Zip without any issue. Zip takes over on Billy but Jannetty trips Zip down for the pin at 4:03 (likely due to Skip’s injury).

It’s back to Henry to work on Billy’s arm but Cassidy (Al Snow) gets in a cheap shot from the apron to cut Henry down. This means a Partridge Family reference, because the New Rockers are big into that 60s music scene. The Rockers and Gunns start double teamming the Godwinns until some heel miscommunication breaks that down. The Godwinns are fine with going after both of them and we get some double noggin knockers. A quick Slop Drop gets rid of the Rockers at 7:21 and we’re down to two.

Bart hammers on Henry, who is back with a heck of a clothesline to leave both of them down. It’s too far for the tag though and Billy comes in to yell a lot, much to Sunny’s appreciation. Henry gets back with an atomic drop and a World’s Strongest Slam, which is enough for the tag back to Phineas. Everything breaks down and Henry Cactus Clotheslines Bart out to the floor. Phineas hits the Slop Drop on Billy but Bart comes off the top with an ax handle, allowing Billy to steal the pin at 12:21.

Rating: D+. The word that comes to mind here is lifeless. This was a bunch of people going out there and doing their moves to each other until one of them got the win. It wasn’t exciting, it wasn’t interesting and the fans didn’t seem to care. The tag division was such a dead zone around this time and this was a perfect example of why. There was just nothing here and it showed very, very badly.

Post match Sunny brags about the Gunns and unveils a huge poster of herself, her favorite subject.

We look at the WWF taking over Cleveland in recent days. This involves a train racing a carriage to show the fastest way to the arena. Believe it or not, the train wins. Then Jerry Lawler went to a Cleveland Indians practice and tried to learn the spitball. One of the players offered to teach him in exchange for a piledriver. Some wrestlers also helped paint over some graffiti in a nice moment. To top it off, Undertaker and Paul Bearer gave away…a funeral?

British Bulldog vs. Sycho Sid

No Cornette for Bulldog either but Mason is here again. In the back, Sid is glad the fans seem to like him since he came back and is ready to fight. As usual, Sid has the weirdest charisma and it carried him so far. Sid starts fairly fast with a slam to send Bulldog outside, leaving the fans to give us a LET’S GO SID chant. Back in and Sid grabs a headlock but Bulldog fights out and hits the rather impressive delayed vertical suplex.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Cornette clotheslines him to the floor. Cornette is at least watching the match in the back as Vader warms up (he’s been at it for forty minutes now) and Bulldog drapes him ribs first over the top. The chinlock goes on again but Sid is up rather quickly. A charge misses in the corner though and Bulldog nails the running powerslam. Cue Cornette to yell at Mason though and the distraction means no cover. Another powerslam is loaded up but Sid escapes and hits the chokeslam. The powerbomb gives Sid the pin at 6:26.

Rating: C. Sid was always good for an acceptable enough power match and that’s about what we got here. The bigger deal is between Cornette and Mason, which is about as interesting as you would imagine. That’s a big part of why the company was losing to WCW and it would get even worse: yes WCW had the NWO, but look at what the WWF was using to counter. This was fine, but it’s not like it was anything that you would remember in an hour or so.

Goldust vs. Marc Mero

Goldust has Marlena with him but has an eye for Sable, who is here with Mero. Before the match, Mero talks about not liking the attention Mankind has been giving Sable and promises to make Goldust a falling star. Goldust does his crawling thing to start but Mero isn’t having any of that and knocks him into the corner. A drop toehold into an armbar has Goldust in trouble and Marlena doesn’t seem to care in the slightest.

Commentary talks about Ahmed Johnson’s (latest) injury as Mero works on the arm even more. Goldust fights back and knocks him to the apron, followed by into the barricade in a variety of ways. Cue Mankind to call Sable “Mommy”, get fairly close to her, and then leave. Goldust’s chinlock and clothesline get two but Mero fights up and makes the comeback.

An atomic drop and left hands rock Goldust and Mero leverages him outside. Back in and a slingshot legdrop sets up the debuting Wild Thing (shooting star press)…but Marlena has the referee. The delay lets Goldust kick out, which is amazingly stupid given how they just debuted that kind of a move. A powerslam gives Mero two more but Goldust is back with a quick Curtain Call for the win at 11:01.

Rating: C+. This could have been a lot worse, but the kickout of the Wild Thing was ridiculous. Again: if they want someone or something to get over, stop having it be used in the middle of a match to next to no impact. If you want Goldust to win then fine, but don’t cut the legs off of Mero’s awesome new move in the process. That doesn’t help him at all and the result could have been the same without that boneheaded decision.

Post match Goldust goes after Sable but Mero makes the save.

We look at Intercontinental Champion Ahmed Johnson winning a battle royal to earn a title shot the night after Summerslam on Raw but he was already hurt and then got in a fight with Faarooq. He had a ruptured kidney and as a result, his title is vacant. His future isn’t clear, but he’ll be out for a few months at least. There will be a tournament for the Intercontinental Title and a four man battle royal, consisting of the final four eliminated from the original battle royal, for the title shot. Johnson would return to the ring but he never really recovered.

Here are Sunny and Faarooq, still in the blue gladiator period, for a chat. Faarooq does not like the idea of a tournament because he should be handed the title. Sunny can live with it and promises that Faarooq will win the tournament, because what Sunny wants, she gets. There was no need for this to be on pay per view.

We recap Jake Roberts vs. Jerry Lawler. Roberts was trying to reform his drinking and is now a Christian, with Lawler mocking him endlessly and even pouring alcohol down his throat. Therefore, things are personal.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts

Newcomer Mark Henry is on commentary and Lawler brings out a bag of his own, ala the one Roberts tends to bring. Lawler reveals a Baltimore Ravens jersey and pennant (the Cleveland Browns left for Baltimore and became the Ravens, which did not sit well with Cleveland fans). He talks about throwing out the first pitch at the Indians game and the team’s manager begging him to sign a contract.

The Ravens’ owners are here too so don’t ask them for an autograph! Lawler goes for the bag and pulls out Roberts’ partners: Jim Beam! He mocks Roberts’ wife and calls out Henry’s lack of Olympic medals. Not that it matters as he would just get his gold medal bronzed. Henry just sits and takes this, as he doesn’t quite get the thinking yet.

Lawler keeps going with his routine until Roberts finally comes out to cut him off. Hold on though as Lawler offers what he has in his bag in exchange for Roberts NOT taking out what he has in his own bag. Lawler offers a huge bottle of booze, which is enough to bring out the big yellow snake to wrap around Lawler and get us going. Lawler heads to the floor and wants the microphone again but Roberts pulls him back inside to start up the beating.

A slam on the floor plants Lawler again and Roberts mocks him over the booze. Back in and Lawler gets in a cheap shot, allowing him to tie Roberts in the ropes. It’s time to get one of the bottles, but Roberts gets out and hits the short arm clothesline. The referee yells at Roberts though and Lawler hits him in the throat with a bottle, allowing him to pull the tights for the pin at 4:09.

Rating: D. Ignoring the fairly off putting subject matter, the match was hardly anything worth seeing either. The ending felt like the same thing as the opener, as again it was hard to believe that the referee didn’t see it. On top of that you had Henry, who had no business being on commentary with that lack of talking ability. How was that not noticed before the match? Just have him come out and do something after if you want to showcase him, but don’t focus on his weaknesses like that.

Post match Roberts points at his throat so Lawler pours Jim Beam down his throat (rumored to have been real whiskey as a rib). Mark Henry makes the save after an all time nothing performance on commentary.

Bob Backlund is in the crowd doing….Bob Backlund things (he’s a weird guy).

We recap Undertaker vs. Mankind. Undertaker was used to facing monsters but the more you beat on Mankind, the more he came back, making him a weird opponent. They’re still fighting though and this time it’s going to be a brawl in the boiler room, also known as a Boiler Room Brawl.

Undertaker vs. Mankind

Boiler Room Brawl, meaning they start in the boiler room and the winner is the first to get to the ring and retrieve the urn from Paul Bearer. Undertaker slowly walks into the boiler room and even he looks a bit nervous. This leads to some slow walking around, as Undertaker isn’t sure where he is, giving us almost a slasher movie feel.

Mankind finally sneaks up on him with what looks like a board for a bit shot to the back. A trashcan lid (or something that looks like one) to the head gets Mankind off of him and Undertaker sends him into a metal locker. Mankind is back up to send him throat first into a saw horse and they brawl around a bit more. We get some “technical difficulties”, which is likely code for “an edit” as this half was taped in advance.

Undertaker is sent into a machine but comes back with a pipe to knock a trashcan out of Mankind’s hands. Mankind turns a valve to spray Undertaker with hot steam and they stagger around some more. Undertaker grabs a wooden pallet but Undertaker hits him low with a pipe to cut him off again. A ram into a steel wall drops Undertaker again, allowing Mankind to punch him in the face.

With Undertaker down, Mankind climbs a ladder and drops an elbow onto Undertaker and concrete because he’s kind of insane. Mankind starts going for the door but Undertaker pulls him down and we get more technical difficulties. We come back with Undertaker down on the floor and Mankind climbing a ladder. Undertaker sits up and grabs the ladder, sending Mankind crashing down onto a box (which almost went VERY wrong and could have ended his career).

They fight up towards the door and slug it out until Undertaker blasts him with a fire extinguisher. Undertaker gets out the door but gets pulled back in, with Mankind getting out and slamming the door on him. Mankind manages to get away and close a door, stacking a bunch of stuff in front of it. That’s fine with Undertaker, who breaks the door down and follows Mankind down a hall (where other wrestlers are cheering them on, with even Steve Austin getting a look).

Mankind throws coffee on him and then crawls through the entrance to come into the arena for the first time. Undertaker follows him and they make it to ringside, where WWE has brought in TV’s on carts like we’re in English class in the 90s. I mean we were in the 90s here but not so much with the English class thing. Anyway, Mankind hits a Texas piledriver on the exposed concrete.

That’s not enough to stop Undertaker of course and he pulls Mankind back down and goes inside….but Bearer won’t give him the urn. Instead Mankind comes back in and puts on the Mandible Claw as Bearer starts shining the urn. Bearer slaps and stomps at Undertaker (JR is INCENSED), who tries to crawl over to him. A huge urn shot to the head (CRACK) knocks Undertaker silly and Mankind gets the urn to win at 26:45.

Rating: B. Well it was different and rather violent, which is all you can ask for out something like this. I can definitely get the appeal of this kind of match between two people with their history, but it was so different than anything else that either company was doing. The brawl itself was good, but this was all about Bearer turning on Undertaker, as that was one of the biggest partnerships of the 90s. It was a new world for Undertaker, and that is something he had been needing for a long, long time.

Post match Mankind and Bearer leave so the druids come out and carry Undertaker away. Do they just follow Undertaker around in case he gets beaten up?

Jim Cornette says Vader has proven he can beat Shawn Michaels and tonight, Michaels is going to grabbed by the throat, making him sound like an electric kazoo in a Peter Frampton song. If you need a bizarre reference, go to Cornette.

WWF Title: Vader vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels, with Jose Lothario, is defending and Jim Cornette is here with Vader. Michaels tries to move around to start so Vader hits him in the ribs and drops him with a hard clothesline. A big boot is blocked though and Michaels sweeps the leg, setting up a basement dropkick. Some kicks to the face rock Vader and Michaels low bridges him out to the floor. A baseball slide drops Vader again and Michaels hits a big dive, giving us an image which went on a lot of highlight reels.

Back in and a top rope ax handle sets up a hurricanrana to put Vader down again. Something like a victory roll sends Vader outside again but the slingshot hurricanrana is countered with a nasty powerbomb onto the floor. Vader throws him back inside for a hard suplex as Michaels is in a lot of trouble. The slow beating continues and a rather big backdrop stays on the back.

The beating is so intense that it has Perfect changing his mind about returning to the ring. Vader drops him again with a hard clothesline before grabbing a head and arm choke. That’s broken up so Vader tries to sit on him, only to be cut off with a low blow. Michaels knocks him down and goes up but has to pull out of the top rope elbow as Vader didn’t move as planned. This sends Michaels into an infamous rant about how Vader screwed up, because Michaels in 1996 would have that kind of tantrum on live television.

Back up and Michaels crossbodies him out to the floor, where Vader gorilla presses him onto the barricade. That’s enough for a countout at 13:53, but Cornette says no way, because Michaels isn’t getting out of it that easy.

Michaels seems to agree so Vader goes after him, with Lothario getting between them. That lets Cornette get in a tennis racket shot and they get back inside, where a belly to belly gives Vader two. Michaels manages the flying forearm though and tries the superkick but Cornette grabs his foot. Cornette throws the tennis racket inside so Michaels takes it away and unloads on Vader (with some great sound effects for the DQ at 17:50.

Hold on though as Cornette says Michaels got disqualified on purpose so let’s keep this going and have a real winner. We keep it going with Michaels grabbing a sunset flip but having to avoid a sitdown splash. Now the top rope elbow can connect and the superkick gives Michaels two. The referee gets bumped so Vader’s powerbomb only gets a delayed two. The Vader Bomb is loaded up but Cornette wants the moonsault. That’s enough for Michaels to hit a moonsault press for the win at 22:19.

Rating: B. I liked the story they were telling here with the idea that Vader was overwhelming Michaels but kept giving him chance after chance to escape. That’s the idea of Michaels just finding a way to escape and eventually survive Vader when he went too far. That being said, the tantrum in the middle is just dumb and makes Michaels look pathetic, which he did so often by himself. Otherwise, good main event.

Also of note, this was originally going to be Vader winning the title and ultimately losing it back to Michaels at the Royal Rumble, but Michaels didn’t want to work with Vader so Sid got the spot instead (hence the December In Your House being called “It’s Time” when Vader had nothing to do with the main event.).

Overall Rating: C+. The two main events carry the show as far as it is going to go. The rest of the show ranges from forgettable to bad, which sums up so much of this time for the WWF. They had some talent around, but it was going to take time before the new generation could take the ball. Granted getting Bret Hart back in a few months would help, but this was not a good time for the company, save for the top of the card. You could certainly see that in this show and not in a good way whatsoever.

Ratings Comparison

Steve Austin vs. Yokozuna

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2025 Redo: N/A

Owen Hart vs. Savio Vega

Original: B+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+

Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas vs. New Rockers vs. Godwinns

Original: B-
2013 Redo: D-
2025 Redo: D+

British Bulldog vs. Sycho Sid

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

Marc Mero vs. Goldust

Original: C+
2013 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C+

Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2025 Redo: D

Mankind vs. Undertaker

Original: A-
2013 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B

Vader vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A-
2013 Redo: B+
2025 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: A
2013 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C+

The other two reviews are a bit all over the place, but that original is as rose colored glasses nostalgia as you can get. My goodness that’s nuts.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6