Monday Night Raw
Date: October 13, 2008
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on Cyber Sunday and the Raw main event has already been announced. Chris Jericho will defend the World Title against Batista but there are some options for guest referee. That should make for a main theme this week, though the pay per view will need a bit more than that one match. We’ll probably get some of it here so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Chris Jericho is in Mike Adamle’s office and complains about the Cyber Sunday title match. Adamle isn’t having this and says that he’s making another decision. Tonight, Jericho and Batista are both going to wrestle and they get to pick the other’s opponents. Jericho isn’t impressed and threatens McMahon involvement, but Adamle says Shane and Stephanie turn their phones off during Raw (Since when?). With that no longer an option, Jericho storms off and runs into Jamie Noble with Candice Michelle and Mickie James. The women are both texting someone and Jericho…keeps walking.

Here is Jericho in the ring to complain to Shane and Stephanie McMahon about Randy Orton, Shawn Michaels and Steve Austin as the options for guest referee. None of those are fair to him and he knows Austin would Stun him to take the title away due to all of the times he’s bragged about beating Austin and Rock in one night (fair).

After a quick slip by saying he shouldn’t have an unbiased official (though he does save it so quickly that it was barely noticeable), Jericho calls the whole thing unfair but here is Shawn Michaels to interrupt. Michaels is rather serious and says he would love to say he’d be a perfect referee so he could count Jericho as the winner and then beat him for the title. The reality though is that he would make Jericho’s match a nightmare. For now though, he’s going to do what Barack Obama and John McCain would love to do to each other, and the beating is on. Jericho bails and makes Michaels vs. Batista for tonight. Makes sense.

You can pick the stipulation for Kane vs. Rey Mysterio at Cyber Sunday. Your choices are No Holds Barred, Falls Count Anywhere and 2/3 Falls. That’s more like it as No Holds Barred or Falls Count Anywhere could both win.

Rey Mysterio/Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry/Kane

Hardy strikes away at Henry to start and even gets in the middle rope elbow to the back of the neck. The Twist Of Fate is blocked though and Kane gets in a distraction so Henry can run Hardy over. The neck crank goes on and the villains get to take some turns beating on Hardy. Kane’s chinlock is broken up and Hardy gets in a DDT, allowing the tag off to Mysterio. The basement dropkick hits Kane and a spinning reverse DDT puts him down again. There’s the 619 but as Henry and Hardy fight to the back. Mysterio tries a dive off the top but gets booted out of the air for the pin.

Rating: C+. I love seeing two feuds advanced at once and they did it well here. Hardy vs. Henry is probably about to wrap up while Kane vs. Mysterio seems to still have some juice left. That should make for a good double feature at the pay per view, assuming Henry is the one getting the title shot.

Batista thinks Chris Jericho was smart to pick him as Shawn Michaels’ opponent. He respects Michaels as a competitor, but if Michaels tries to take him out, he’ll beat Michaels to the punch.

Here is JBL for a match but first, he wants to thank Congress for their recent bailout. He’s so happy because there will always be poor people but the rich must be taken care of at all costs. JBL is a rare American success story and a real American. I think you know where this is going.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Haas Hogan

JBL punches him down like the diminishing joke that Haas is but gets dropped by three right hands and a big boot. The Clothesline From JBL finishes Haas in a hurry.

Some of the Jackass guys are here and have no idea how various content making fun of the Great Khali made it onto their website. Now bring on the midgets!

John Cena is recovering from surgery and a lot of wrestlers think he’s rather spiffy. Oh and his brother likes him too.

Here is Randy Orton for a chat. He finds it interesting that he didn’t get kind words like that when he was injured. Sure he finished his match with HHH with a broken collarbone but no one cared because he’s not John Cena (“Thank God”.). He doesn’t want you to vote for him so he won’t get hurt so close to his return. Either way, he’ll be World Champion again, like it or not. Well that’s not how these things usually go but it does fit for Orton.

Batista vs. Shawn Michaels

Hold on though as Chris Jericho pops up on screen to say this is going to be a lumberjack match. A bunch of villains surround the ring and we’re ready to go. Well after a break that is and we’re joined in progress with Batista knocking Michaels outside, only for Michaels to come back in for a Figure Four.

That’s broken up so Michaels chops away in the corner, earning himself a heck of a clothesline. A powerslam gives Batista two and he grabs a rear naked choke. Michaels slips out and hammers away, earning himself one heck of a backdrop for two. The choke goes on again before Batista just hits him in the back for a change.

Michaels grabs a rollup for two and tries a superkick but gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl slam for two instead. Batista sends him outside for a bearhug from Mark Henry and we take a break. We come back with Batista holding his own bearhug, only to miss a charge out to the floor. Batista beats up various lumberjacks and comes back inside, where Michaels knocks him down. They both crash out to the floor though and the lumberjacks swarm for the double DQ.

Rating: B-. The match was fine but you knew the lumberjacks were going to do something. You don’t want either of them to lose (especially Batista) so having a bunch of people run in was a good save. On top of that, Jericho would be happy for the two of them to get beaten up and that was probably his plan all along.

Post match the brawl is on with Batista and Michaels clearing the ring before showing each other some respect. Chris Jericho is rather annoyed in the back.

Here are Santino Marella and Beth Phoenix for a chat. Marella isn’t thrilled with having to face Goldust, Roddy Piper or the Honky Tonky Man at Cyber Sunday. They’re all perverted you see. Eh kind of yeah. That brings Marella to the Jackass stars at ringside, with Marella inviting them into the ring. Johnny Knoxville refers to Phoenix as a dude because…well because she needs a reason to slam him (and not very well either, which I’m assuming is due to Knoxville not being a wrestler).

Marella and Phoenix leave so here is Hornswoggle as this is going to be an odd segment. Hornswoggle tadpole splashes Knoxville so here is Big Dick Johnson to dance, with one of Knoxville’s friends stripping and dancing as well. Cue the Boogeyman of all people to give said friend the worms. Knoxville gets up and here is Great Khali for the chokebomb. This was in fact a Jackass WWE segment and it went on for a good while.

JTG finds and keeps a Mighty Ducks hockey mask in the back.

Here are Miz and John Morrison to “rap” about Cryme Tyme. They even throw in Jillian Hall to sing as only she can (thank goodness). And yeah Miz and Morrison get that she’s bad.

Cryme Tyme/Kelly Kelly vs. Miz/John Morrison/Jillian Hall

Hall forearms away at Kelly to start so Kelly springboards away for a clothesline. Miz comes in to catapult JTG into a forearm from Morrison, whose neckbreaker gets two. JTG fights up and brings in Gaspard to clean house as everything breaks down. Everything breaks down and JTG hits Morrison in the back with the hockey mask to give Gaspard the pin.

Rating: C-. It was short, it wasn’t very good, and it was mainly about the hockey mask, which was just there for the sake of playing to the local fans. Miz and Morrison vs. Cryme Tyme is funny enough because Miz and Morrison know how to make themselves look like morons but the Kelly vs. Hall stuff isn’t exactly as thrilling. At least it was short though.

Chris Jericho vs. ???

Non-title and Batista’s handpicked opponent is….CM Punk. Oh and hold on because here is Batista himself to be guest referee. Punk grabs an early rollup to start so Jericho tries to leave, earning a trip right back to the ring. That’s fine with Punk, who ties him up with a choke in the ropes and Batista is fine with leaving him alone.

Punk knocks him down again but gets pulled off the ropes to give Jericho a breather. The chinlock goes on for a bit but Jericho’s running bulldog is shoved into the corner. The GTS is blocked as well though and a Codebreaker gets two…as Batista has something in his eyes. Batista, who is of course blind, Batista Bombs Jericho and Punk gives a “sure why not” look before getting the pin.

Rating: B-. This went well enough for a short match where you knew exactly what was going to happen. That’s not a bad thing either, as they didn’t bother hiding the idea and just rolled with it. Batista got his revenge on Jericho and Punk didn’t look like a loser so I’ll take this to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. They were in a rough spot here and they made it work out well enough. The problem with Cyber Sunday is you have so many details being officially set up the night of the show, even down to some of the matches themselves. That makes building things up a bit tricky, but they did a good enough job with the World Title picture. It’s certainly not a show you need to see, but it could have been a lot worse.

 

 

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Summerslam 1996
Date: August 18, 1996
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Mr. Perfect

This is not the best time for the WWF as the company has been dealing with the NWO for the last month and a half. Shawn Michaels is doing as much as he can and is doing it again here as he defends the WWF Title against Vader in the main event. Other than that though, we have a Boiler Room Brawl between the Undertaker and Mankind. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Steve Austin vs. Yokozuna

We’ll throw in a bonus here for a somewhat infamous match. Austin hammers away to start and gets knocked down without much trouble. A Samoan drop and legdrop put Austin down and the Banzai Drop is loaded up….but the ropes break and Yokozuna falls down, allowing Austin to get the fast pin at 1:53. Well that got the point across. Vince: “HE IS SO HEAVY!” Yeah that.

The opening video looks at the two main events, which is about fighting the monsters of Mankind and Vader. Makes sense.

Commentary previews the show and a fan actually comes up asking Perfect for an autograph, which he shoves off without saying a word. Even Vince seems to glare at the guy a bit.

Savio Vega vs. Owen Hart

Hart has a cast on his left wrist, with Vince and JR questioning how slowly it has healed. Feeling out process to start with neither getting very far, though the referee does threaten Hart for using the cast. Vega leapfrogs him and sends the cast into various buckles, followed by an armbar.

We cut to the back where Jim Cornette (Hart’s manager) is helping Vader warm up as Vega stays on the arm. There are some fans loudly chanting for Owen, though Vega taking him down by the arm quiets them down a bit. Hart gets up and manages to send him shoulder first into the corner, allowing the stomping to ensue. Vega gets caught in an armbar for a change before Hart switches into an armbar from a different angle for a change of pace. A bite to the leg of all things gets Vega out so Hart ties the arm up in the ropes and slaps him in the face.

Cue Clarence Mason (Jim Cornette’s lawyer) to watch as Vega misses a spinwheel kick but hits a crossbody for two. Back up and Hart’s enziguri connects as Mason is playing cheerleader. Hart’s rollup with feet on the ropes gets two, as does Vega’s rollup. Vega gets up a spinning kick to the face in the corner and a legdrop gets two.

Hart is right back with a kick of his own, followed by a missile dropkick for two of his own. It’s time to go up again but this time Hart gets crotched, setting up a belly to back superplex. Vega seems to land on the cast though, allowing Hart to take it off and knock Vega cold. Somehow the referee didn’t see it, despite it being right in front of his face, and the Sharpshooter goes on to give Hart the win at 13:25.

Rating: C+. Fine enough opener as Hart is always worth a look, though Vega was reaching the end of his usefulness by this point. There’s nothing wrong with having two faster paced guys getting out there to start the show, though trimming a few minutes off here wouldn’t have hurt either. The cast shot at the end didn’t do it any favors either, as there was no reason to believe the referee didn’t see it.

Post match here is Justin Hawk Bradshaw to yell about Vega, who Bradshaw wants to send back to “that island”. Bradshaw gets in a cheap shot on Vega in the aisle to leave him laying again.

Todd Pettingill is scared of being in the boiler room, where he runs into Mankind, who insists that there is no place like home. Undertaker can come in, but beware that he will be seeing a fate worse than death. Mankind licks a pipe.

Tag Team Titles: New Rockers vs. Smoking Gunns vs. Godwinns vs. Bodydonnas

The Gunns, with Sunny, are defending with elimination rules. Skip (of the Bodydonnas) has a neck brace due to a fractured vertebrae. Meanwhile, the Godwinns have Hillbilly Jim, a pig and a basset hound, because Vince McMahon had a thing for hillbillies. Billy and Henry start things off with Henry running him over with a shoulder. A clothesline does it as well and Phineas comes in to throw Zip around.

Billy wants the people to sit down and shut up…so Phineas and Zip tag in both Gunns. Sunny panics as commentary talks about how they have to make contact. This is then proven wrong as Bart tags out to Zip without any issue. Zip takes over on Billy but Jannetty trips Zip down for the pin at 4:03 (likely due to Skip’s injury).

It’s back to Henry to work on Billy’s arm but Cassidy (Al Snow) gets in a cheap shot from the apron to cut Henry down. This means a Partridge Family reference, because the New Rockers are big into that 60s music scene. The Rockers and Gunns start double teamming the Godwinns until some heel miscommunication breaks that down. The Godwinns are fine with going after both of them and we get some double noggin knockers. A quick Slop Drop gets rid of the Rockers at 7:21 and we’re down to two.

Bart hammers on Henry, who is back with a heck of a clothesline to leave both of them down. It’s too far for the tag though and Billy comes in to yell a lot, much to Sunny’s appreciation. Henry gets back with an atomic drop and a World’s Strongest Slam, which is enough for the tag back to Phineas. Everything breaks down and Henry Cactus Clotheslines Bart out to the floor. Phineas hits the Slop Drop on Billy but Bart comes off the top with an ax handle, allowing Billy to steal the pin at 12:21.

Rating: D+. The word that comes to mind here is lifeless. This was a bunch of people going out there and doing their moves to each other until one of them got the win. It wasn’t exciting, it wasn’t interesting and the fans didn’t seem to care. The tag division was such a dead zone around this time and this was a perfect example of why. There was just nothing here and it showed very, very badly.

Post match Sunny brags about the Gunns and unveils a huge poster of herself, her favorite subject.

We look at the WWF taking over Cleveland in recent days. This involves a train racing a carriage to show the fastest way to the arena. Believe it or not, the train wins. Then Jerry Lawler went to a Cleveland Indians practice and tried to learn the spitball. One of the players offered to teach him in exchange for a piledriver. Some wrestlers also helped paint over some graffiti in a nice moment. To top it off, Undertaker and Paul Bearer gave away…a funeral?

British Bulldog vs. Sycho Sid

No Cornette for Bulldog either but Mason is here again. In the back, Sid is glad the fans seem to like him since he came back and is ready to fight. As usual, Sid has the weirdest charisma and it carried him so far. Sid starts fairly fast with a slam to send Bulldog outside, leaving the fans to give us a LET’S GO SID chant. Back in and Sid grabs a headlock but Bulldog fights out and hits the rather impressive delayed vertical suplex.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Cornette clotheslines him to the floor. Cornette is at least watching the match in the back as Vader warms up (he’s been at it for forty minutes now) and Bulldog drapes him ribs first over the top. The chinlock goes on again but Sid is up rather quickly. A charge misses in the corner though and Bulldog nails the running powerslam. Cue Cornette to yell at Mason though and the distraction means no cover. Another powerslam is loaded up but Sid escapes and hits the chokeslam. The powerbomb gives Sid the pin at 6:26.

Rating: C. Sid was always good for an acceptable enough power match and that’s about what we got here. The bigger deal is between Cornette and Mason, which is about as interesting as you would imagine. That’s a big part of why the company was losing to WCW and it would get even worse: yes WCW had the NWO, but look at what the WWF was using to counter. This was fine, but it’s not like it was anything that you would remember in an hour or so.

Goldust vs. Marc Mero

Goldust has Marlena with him but has an eye for Sable, who is here with Mero. Before the match, Mero talks about not liking the attention Mankind has been giving Sable and promises to make Goldust a falling star. Goldust does his crawling thing to start but Mero isn’t having any of that and knocks him into the corner. A drop toehold into an armbar has Goldust in trouble and Marlena doesn’t seem to care in the slightest.

Commentary talks about Ahmed Johnson’s (latest) injury as Mero works on the arm even more. Goldust fights back and knocks him to the apron, followed by into the barricade in a variety of ways. Cue Mankind to call Sable “Mommy”, get fairly close to her, and then leave. Goldust’s chinlock and clothesline get two but Mero fights up and makes the comeback.

An atomic drop and left hands rock Goldust and Mero leverages him outside. Back in and a slingshot legdrop sets up the debuting Wild Thing (shooting star press)…but Marlena has the referee. The delay lets Goldust kick out, which is amazingly stupid given how they just debuted that kind of a move. A powerslam gives Mero two more but Goldust is back with a quick Curtain Call for the win at 11:01.

Rating: C+. This could have been a lot worse, but the kickout of the Wild Thing was ridiculous. Again: if they want someone or something to get over, stop having it be used in the middle of a match to next to no impact. If you want Goldust to win then fine, but don’t cut the legs off of Mero’s awesome new move in the process. That doesn’t help him at all and the result could have been the same without that boneheaded decision.

Post match Goldust goes after Sable but Mero makes the save.

We look at Intercontinental Champion Ahmed Johnson winning a battle royal to earn a title shot the night after Summerslam on Raw but he was already hurt and then got in a fight with Faarooq. He had a ruptured kidney and as a result, his title is vacant. His future isn’t clear, but he’ll be out for a few months at least. There will be a tournament for the Intercontinental Title and a four man battle royal, consisting of the final four eliminated from the original battle royal, for the title shot. Johnson would return to the ring but he never really recovered.

Here are Sunny and Faarooq, still in the blue gladiator period, for a chat. Faarooq does not like the idea of a tournament because he should be handed the title. Sunny can live with it and promises that Faarooq will win the tournament, because what Sunny wants, she gets. There was no need for this to be on pay per view.

We recap Jake Roberts vs. Jerry Lawler. Roberts was trying to reform his drinking and is now a Christian, with Lawler mocking him endlessly and even pouring alcohol down his throat. Therefore, things are personal.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts

Newcomer Mark Henry is on commentary and Lawler brings out a bag of his own, ala the one Roberts tends to bring. Lawler reveals a Baltimore Ravens jersey and pennant (the Cleveland Browns left for Baltimore and became the Ravens, which did not sit well with Cleveland fans). He talks about throwing out the first pitch at the Indians game and the team’s manager begging him to sign a contract.

The Ravens’ owners are here too so don’t ask them for an autograph! Lawler goes for the bag and pulls out Roberts’ partners: Jim Beam! He mocks Roberts’ wife and calls out Henry’s lack of Olympic medals. Not that it matters as he would just get his gold medal bronzed. Henry just sits and takes this, as he doesn’t quite get the thinking yet.

Lawler keeps going with his routine until Roberts finally comes out to cut him off. Hold on though as Lawler offers what he has in his bag in exchange for Roberts NOT taking out what he has in his own bag. Lawler offers a huge bottle of booze, which is enough to bring out the big yellow snake to wrap around Lawler and get us going. Lawler heads to the floor and wants the microphone again but Roberts pulls him back inside to start up the beating.

A slam on the floor plants Lawler again and Roberts mocks him over the booze. Back in and Lawler gets in a cheap shot, allowing him to tie Roberts in the ropes. It’s time to get one of the bottles, but Roberts gets out and hits the short arm clothesline. The referee yells at Roberts though and Lawler hits him in the throat with a bottle, allowing him to pull the tights for the pin at 4:09.

Rating: D. Ignoring the fairly off putting subject matter, the match was hardly anything worth seeing either. The ending felt like the same thing as the opener, as again it was hard to believe that the referee didn’t see it. On top of that you had Henry, who had no business being on commentary with that lack of talking ability. How was that not noticed before the match? Just have him come out and do something after if you want to showcase him, but don’t focus on his weaknesses like that.

Post match Roberts points at his throat so Lawler pours Jim Beam down his throat (rumored to have been real whiskey as a rib). Mark Henry makes the save after an all time nothing performance on commentary.

Bob Backlund is in the crowd doing….Bob Backlund things (he’s a weird guy).

We recap Undertaker vs. Mankind. Undertaker was used to facing monsters but the more you beat on Mankind, the more he came back, making him a weird opponent. They’re still fighting though and this time it’s going to be a brawl in the boiler room, also known as a Boiler Room Brawl.

Undertaker vs. Mankind

Boiler Room Brawl, meaning they start in the boiler room and the winner is the first to get to the ring and retrieve the urn from Paul Bearer. Undertaker slowly walks into the boiler room and even he looks a bit nervous. This leads to some slow walking around, as Undertaker isn’t sure where he is, giving us almost a slasher movie feel.

Mankind finally sneaks up on him with what looks like a board for a bit shot to the back. A trashcan lid (or something that looks like one) to the head gets Mankind off of him and Undertaker sends him into a metal locker. Mankind is back up to send him throat first into a saw horse and they brawl around a bit more. We get some “technical difficulties”, which is likely code for “an edit” as this half was taped in advance.

Undertaker is sent into a machine but comes back with a pipe to knock a trashcan out of Mankind’s hands. Mankind turns a valve to spray Undertaker with hot steam and they stagger around some more. Undertaker grabs a wooden pallet but Undertaker hits him low with a pipe to cut him off again. A ram into a steel wall drops Undertaker again, allowing Mankind to punch him in the face.

With Undertaker down, Mankind climbs a ladder and drops an elbow onto Undertaker and concrete because he’s kind of insane. Mankind starts going for the door but Undertaker pulls him down and we get more technical difficulties. We come back with Undertaker down on the floor and Mankind climbing a ladder. Undertaker sits up and grabs the ladder, sending Mankind crashing down onto a box (which almost went VERY wrong and could have ended his career).

They fight up towards the door and slug it out until Undertaker blasts him with a fire extinguisher. Undertaker gets out the door but gets pulled back in, with Mankind getting out and slamming the door on him. Mankind manages to get away and close a door, stacking a bunch of stuff in front of it. That’s fine with Undertaker, who breaks the door down and follows Mankind down a hall (where other wrestlers are cheering them on, with even Steve Austin getting a look).

Mankind throws coffee on him and then crawls through the entrance to come into the arena for the first time. Undertaker follows him and they make it to ringside, where WWE has brought in TV’s on carts like we’re in English class in the 90s. I mean we were in the 90s here but not so much with the English class thing. Anyway, Mankind hits a Texas piledriver on the exposed concrete.

That’s not enough to stop Undertaker of course and he pulls Mankind back down and goes inside….but Bearer won’t give him the urn. Instead Mankind comes back in and puts on the Mandible Claw as Bearer starts shining the urn. Bearer slaps and stomps at Undertaker (JR is INCENSED), who tries to crawl over to him. A huge urn shot to the head (CRACK) knocks Undertaker silly and Mankind gets the urn to win at 26:45.

Rating: B. Well it was different and rather violent, which is all you can ask for out something like this. I can definitely get the appeal of this kind of match between two people with their history, but it was so different than anything else that either company was doing. The brawl itself was good, but this was all about Bearer turning on Undertaker, as that was one of the biggest partnerships of the 90s. It was a new world for Undertaker, and that is something he had been needing for a long, long time.

Post match Mankind and Bearer leave so the druids come out and carry Undertaker away. Do they just follow Undertaker around in case he gets beaten up?

Jim Cornette says Vader has proven he can beat Shawn Michaels and tonight, Michaels is going to grabbed by the throat, making him sound like an electric kazoo in a Peter Frampton song. If you need a bizarre reference, go to Cornette.

WWF Title: Vader vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels, with Jose Lothario, is defending and Jim Cornette is here with Vader. Michaels tries to move around to start so Vader hits him in the ribs and drops him with a hard clothesline. A big boot is blocked though and Michaels sweeps the leg, setting up a basement dropkick. Some kicks to the face rock Vader and Michaels low bridges him out to the floor. A baseball slide drops Vader again and Michaels hits a big dive, giving us an image which went on a lot of highlight reels.

Back in and a top rope ax handle sets up a hurricanrana to put Vader down again. Something like a victory roll sends Vader outside again but the slingshot hurricanrana is countered with a nasty powerbomb onto the floor. Vader throws him back inside for a hard suplex as Michaels is in a lot of trouble. The slow beating continues and a rather big backdrop stays on the back.

The beating is so intense that it has Perfect changing his mind about returning to the ring. Vader drops him again with a hard clothesline before grabbing a head and arm choke. That’s broken up so Vader tries to sit on him, only to be cut off with a low blow. Michaels knocks him down and goes up but has to pull out of the top rope elbow as Vader didn’t move as planned. This sends Michaels into an infamous rant about how Vader screwed up, because Michaels in 1996 would have that kind of tantrum on live television.

Back up and Michaels crossbodies him out to the floor, where Vader gorilla presses him onto the barricade. That’s enough for a countout at 13:53, but Cornette says no way, because Michaels isn’t getting out of it that easy.

Michaels seems to agree so Vader goes after him, with Lothario getting between them. That lets Cornette get in a tennis racket shot and they get back inside, where a belly to belly gives Vader two. Michaels manages the flying forearm though and tries the superkick but Cornette grabs his foot. Cornette throws the tennis racket inside so Michaels takes it away and unloads on Vader (with some great sound effects for the DQ at 17:50.

Hold on though as Cornette says Michaels got disqualified on purpose so let’s keep this going and have a real winner. We keep it going with Michaels grabbing a sunset flip but having to avoid a sitdown splash. Now the top rope elbow can connect and the superkick gives Michaels two. The referee gets bumped so Vader’s powerbomb only gets a delayed two. The Vader Bomb is loaded up but Cornette wants the moonsault. That’s enough for Michaels to hit a moonsault press for the win at 22:19.

Rating: B. I liked the story they were telling here with the idea that Vader was overwhelming Michaels but kept giving him chance after chance to escape. That’s the idea of Michaels just finding a way to escape and eventually survive Vader when he went too far. That being said, the tantrum in the middle is just dumb and makes Michaels look pathetic, which he did so often by himself. Otherwise, good main event.

Also of note, this was originally going to be Vader winning the title and ultimately losing it back to Michaels at the Royal Rumble, but Michaels didn’t want to work with Vader so Sid got the spot instead (hence the December In Your House being called “It’s Time” when Vader had nothing to do with the main event.).

Overall Rating: C+. The two main events carry the show as far as it is going to go. The rest of the show ranges from forgettable to bad, which sums up so much of this time for the WWF. They had some talent around, but it was going to take time before the new generation could take the ball. Granted getting Bret Hart back in a few months would help, but this was not a good time for the company, save for the top of the card. You could certainly see that in this show and not in a good way whatsoever.

Ratings Comparison

Steve Austin vs. Yokozuna

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2025 Redo: N/A

Owen Hart vs. Savio Vega

Original: B+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+

Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas vs. New Rockers vs. Godwinns

Original: B-
2013 Redo: D-
2025 Redo: D+

British Bulldog vs. Sycho Sid

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

Marc Mero vs. Goldust

Original: C+
2013 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C+

Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2025 Redo: D

Mankind vs. Undertaker

Original: A-
2013 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B

Vader vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A-
2013 Redo: B+
2025 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: A
2013 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C+

The other two reviews are a bit all over the place, but that original is as rose colored glasses nostalgia as you can get. My goodness that’s nuts.

 

 

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WWE Vault Grab Bag V
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Lord Alfred Hayes, David Crockett, Jim Ross

It’s time to dip back into the randomness that is the WWE Vault (and various other WWE Youtube channels) as there is a lot of stuff I’d like to see. Today we’re going to look at some more random entries, which could be a mixture of matches and/or segments. Either way, they should be from all over the place so let’s get to it.

From a WWE house show in Jonesboro, Arkansas, August 26, 2017.

John Cena vs. Samoa Joe

From what I can find, this is only one of two matches they ever had in WWE, with the other one coming the previous night. Joe powers him down to start and Cena starts bouncing a lot. A headlock slows Cena down again before running the ropes, with Cena hitting a shoulder. Cena’s headlock doesn’t work very well as Joe backs him into the corner for the quick shot to the face.

Joe sends him outside and then kicks him down back inside, meaning we get what looks like a Hulk Hogan pose of all things. A quick AA attempt is blocked and Joe’s enziguri gets two, meaning it’s time to get frustrated. Joe puts him down again for two more and knocks Cena into the corner, leaving Joe to walk around for a bit. Cena avoids a charge in the corner, only to get elbowed in the face.

Joe misses the backsplash though and Cena starts the usual comeback. The AA is countered with a grab of the rope and the referee gets knocked outside. Cena gets the STF for the unseen tap and of course lets go, allowing Joe to get in a low blow. Joe grabs a chair but Cena ducks and hits the AA for the clean pin at 10:00.

Rating: C+. This was more of a “whoa that match happened” and that’s not a bad way to go. It’s one of the appeals of a house show as a few fans got to see the match, even if it was rather basic. That’s all it needed to be and while I could have gone with a far bigger stage, I’ll take getting to see them have a decent match.

From a WWF house show in Long Island, New York, October 24, 1997.

Tag Team Titles: D-Generation X vs. Legion Of Doom

LOD is defending and Michaels tells a fan to suck it as Animal shoves HHH into the corner to start. Animal powers both of them down at the same time as Chyna is not pleased on the floor. We settle back down to Hawk slamming Michaels, who bails outside, with HHH and Chyna massaging the back of his tights. Back in and Michaels bails straight to the floor, only to get gorilla pressed by in by Animal, where Hawk clotheslines him right back to the floor for a big pratfall.

We settle down a bit with Animal grabbing a headlock and grinding Michaels down again as it’s all LOD thus far. The bearhug goes on but Michaels gets out and hands it off to HHH, who gets bearhugged as well. That’s broken up a bit faster and it’s a high/low to take over on Animal. HHH knocks Animal into the corner and Michaels comes back in with a sleeper. A belly to back suplex puts Michaels down but he makes the tag at the same time, allowing HHH to come in for a sleeper of his own.

It’s already back to Michaels for a front facelock but he accidentally ax handles a cheating HHH. The tag brings Hawk back in and the fans certainly seem to approve. Everything breaks down and Michaels gets in a belt shot to Hawk for the pin and the titles at 13:01. And hang on as here’s another referee to say what happened so no title change, as it’s a DQ instead. Actually the brawl keeps going and NOW it’s a DQ. Ok then.

Rating: B-. This was a fun match and that’s all I can ask for with a match like this one. What mattered the most here was that they had two teams who were both working hard and it felt like a big match. You don’t get that kind of thing very often and it was better than I was expecting. Michaels and HHH were a good team in their own right and the LOD had so much experience that they could do this kind of match so easily. I’d call this a nice surprise and it actually lived up to some of its hype.

Post match Chyna gets in and jumps Hawk, leaving DX to have to break up a Doomsday Device. Michaels chairs Animal but Hawk takes it away and sends Michaels running to wrap it up. Somehow DX wins on a DQ, presumably because the LOD beat them up too much. You know, instead of the belt shot which was called.

From a WWE house show in Leeds, England, November 8, 2021.

Walter vs. Cesaro

That would of course be Gunther before the name change. Cesaro backs him up against the ropes to start and gets shoved away. Walter misses the big chop and it’s off to a test of strength, with Walter actually getting the better of things. Cesaro’s headlock takeover puts Walter down for a change and grinds away for a little while. Back up and they trade the shoulders, with Cesaro’s jumping version working a bit better.

A shot to the throat puts Cesaro down though and we lower the pace. The double arm crank goes on, with Walter knocking him down to cut off an escape bid. The chinlock has Cesaro in more trouble and this one stays on for a good while. Cesaro fights up and knocks Walter down, so naturally the fans want the Swing. That’s not happening so they strike it out instead until Walter hits the dropkick.

The powerbomb gets two and it’s off to the sleeper to put Cesaro down. That’s broken up in a hurry though and Cesar scores with Swiss Death. Now the Swing goes on and Cesaro follows with the Sharpshooter, sending Walter over to the rope. The springboard uppercut is blocked though and Walter kicks him in the face. A whip into the post sets up a German suplex into the top rope splash to give Walter the pin at 14:27.

Rating: B. This started slowly and the chinlock in the middle hurt it a bit, but this wound up being quite the hard fought match. That’s what the match needed to be as you kind of know what you’re getting when you have Cesaro vs. Walter. Cesaro wasn’t about to go over the up and coming monster, but they had a good fight here and that’s what it was supposed to be.

From a WWE house show in Dublin, Ireland, June 18, 2005.

Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Kurt Angle

Cena is defending and a certain Steve Austin is guest referee. This is also a rare outdoor match and it’s a cool visual with various buildings and trees in the background. JBL yells about being a former champion before the match and shadow boxes/kicks while Angle makes his entrance. We’re clipped to Angle elbowing Cena as JBL is down on the floor. A backdrop sends Angle outside so JBL is in to boot Cena in the face.

We’re clipped a few times to Cena fighting out of JBL’s sleeper but a big boot drops him again. We’re clipped again to Cena superplexing JBL and making the comeback. Cena initiates the finishing sequence and hits the FU for two on Angle. We’re clipped again to JBL countering the ankle lock and sending Angle outside. Cena loads up the finishing sequence on JBL but Angle is back in with an accidental belt shot to Austin.

Angle is kicked outside and the Clothesline From JBL drops Cena, with another referee running in to count two. Cena kicks a chair into JBL’s face so Angle grabs the chair, only to get cut off with a Stunner. Austin pokes JBL’s eye into the AA to retain the title at about 5:00 shown. I’m not going to rate it due to the cuts but it felt like a house show match with Austin there to spice it up a bit.

Post match Austin and Cena celebrate.

From WCW Saturday Night, May 14, 1994.

WCW World Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Ric Flair

For the vacant title after they went to a draw at Spring Stampede. They go to the mat to start and Steamboat grabs an armbar, with Flair having to escape. Steamboat reverses a headlock into a hammerlock but Flair is back with the half crab. That’s broken up as well and Steamboat grabs a gorilla press to send Flair to the apron, where a suplex brings him back inside.

Cue Colonel Robert Parker with a briefcase full of money as Flair is sent outside again. Back in and Steamboat drops him with a shoulder but runs into a right hand to the ribs. Flair knocks him into the corner and slowly hammers away as we take a break. We come back with Flair sending him outside and then back inside for some near falls. Steamboat can’t armdrag his way out of an armbar but he can chop the skin off of Flair’s chest.

An atomic drop out of the corner gets Flair out of trouble and he grabs a chinlock. Yes he puts his feet on the ropes and no that shouldn’t be a surprise whatsoever. Back up and they chop it out again with Steamboat getting the better of things, allowing Flair to be rocked even more than usual. Steamboat’s dropkick misses though, as does Flair’s big elbow drop. Flair is back with a poke to the eye and Steamboat needs a breather on the floor. Back in and a sunset flip gives Steamboat two but he charges into a boot in the corner.

As usual Flair goes up top and as usual he gets caught and superplexed for two. Flair plants him down for a breather though and we slow the pace a bit. A poke to the eye lets Flair grab a sleeper, with Flair even on Steamboat’s back. That’s finally broken up and Steamboat chops away again as we take another break.

We come back again with Steamboat winning another chop off (it works, so keep going back to it) but getting his dive punched out of the air. Back in and Flair misses a knee drop, allowing Steamboat to wrap the knee around the post. The Figure Four has Flair in trouble, with Heenan screaming how to break out. Flair finally makes the rope (now what Heenan said to do but it did work) so Steamboat is right back on the leg. Steamboat chops him so much that Flair falls down for two and we take a third break.

We come back again with Steamboat missing something off the top and they’re both down again. Steamboat comes up favoring his own knee, allowing Flair to grab a delayed vertical suplex. His own leg is hurt as well though and it’s another double down. Flair is up and on Steamboat’s leg, with the Figure Four going on. The ropes makes it even worse, but the referee finally catches Flair to break it up. Steamboat knocks him back down but Flair is still up first, only to get caught with a chop. A gorilla press brings him crashing down but they’re back up with another collision.

Steamboat’s sleeper is countered into a belly to back suplex so he goes up again, with Steamboat top rope superplexing him for a crash. A big chop off the top gives Steamboat two and he tries the high crossbody but hits both Flair and the referee. Back up and they trade rollups for two each as they’re somehow still moving at a high speed about 45 minutes into the match. Steamboat tries a leapfrog but seems to get headbutted low, giving Flair the pin and the title at 47:06. Parker never got involved at all.

Rating: A-. There’s a reason these two wrestled each other so many times for the better part of twenty years. Sweet goodness this was amazing stuff with both guys staying crisp throughout and a sense that the match really could have ended multiple times. It’s just high level, technically incredible wrestling between two guys who could do this stuff in their sleep. It says a lot when this is pretty firmly on the low end of their series, as it’s an instant classic with only the kind of sudden ending holding it back. Definitely check this out, plus pretty much anything else they’ve done, ever.

From a WWF house show in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, January 16, 1989.

WWF Title: Randy Savage vs. Bad News Brown

Savage, with Elizabeth, is defending in a Harlem Street Fight and they’re both in street clothes. Brown jumps him on the way in and they’re quickly outside with Savage striking away. A headbutt cuts Savage off though and a chair is thrown inside so Brown can use it to choke. Brown takes him back outside but punches the post, allowing Savage to ax handle him back inside.

Savage takes off his weightlifting belt and blasts Brown in the ribs. Brown is back up with another chair shot and sends Savage crashing over the barricade. A table (remember, this is 1989) is set up in the corner but Savage sends Brown into said table. There’s no referee as Brown hits the Ghetto Blaster for no count. A slam gets the same result so brown yells at the referee, allowing Savage to grab a backslide to retain (with the count from a second referee) at 6:49.

Rating: B. This didn’t last long and no it wasn’t as smooth as the kinds of street fights etc. that you would see in the future, but these guys beat the fire out of each other and it felt like a fight. The big thing here was that Brown basically beat him up and then got caught in the end. There was absolutely something to Brown, who was WAY ahead of his time and could have been incredible about ten years later. Still though, good stuff here, with Savage being more than capable of doing this kind of thing.

Post match Brown kicks Savage outside and then ties the original referee up in the Tree Of Woe. Brown easily takes Savage down into the corner but Savage is back up with a running ax handle. Some other wrestlers come in to break it up, or at least they do after a few misfires.

From WCW Worldwide, May 14, 1988.

NWA United States Tag Team Titles: Midnight Express vs. Fantastics

The Express, with Jim Cornette, is defending and after their usual pre-match hugs, we’re ready to go. Fulton and Lane start things off with Fulton knocking him down without much trouble. A running shoulder drops Lane again and it’s time for the champs to regroup. Lane wrestles him down and quickly gets a hammerlock, which works so well that he does it again.

We take a break and come back with Lane getting double hiptossed, allowing Rogers to work on an armbar. Rogers sends Lane outside so it’s off to Eaton for a change. Eaton gets in a standing chinlock but charges into a headscissors. Lane teases coming off the top for the save but Fulton shakes the ropes to bring him down and then chills on the top in a great spot.

We take another break and come back with Lane on the floor before coming back inside to headlock Fulton. That’s broken up and it’s back to Rogers to work on Lane’s leg. That earns him an enziguri though and Eaton comes back in, only to get taken down as well. Eaton is knocked to the floor and sent into the post as the Midnights are all discombobulated. Back in and Eaton takes over on Fulton, who comes off the middle rope with a kind of hip attack for two.

A hurricanrana takes Eaton down again and we take another break. We come back with Eaton getting in a shot to the throat, followed by Lane’s karate kick to the chest. The hammerlock goes on and the fans get behind Rogers, with Cornette losing his mind on the floor as only he can. Rogers gets sent into the wrong corner again, with Lane grabbing a Russian legsweep for two more.

We take another break and come back again with Eaton working on the arm. Rogers fights up and brings Fulton back in, only for the Midnights to pull him down into a seated abdominal stretch. Fulton’s throat is pulled across the top rope and an elbow gives Lane two. We take yet another break and come back with the bleeding Fulton getting neckbreakered for two. Eaton goes up top and drops the elbow for two more, followed by Lane kicking away in the corner.

The referee stops to check on Fulton’s cut but Rogers bets him not to stop the match. Fulton grabs Anderson’s leg to beg as well so Lane kicks Fulton in the face. Cornette is up on the apron to demand the match be stopped…and Rogers missile dropkicks Eaton into a rollup to give Fulton the pin and the titles at 36:48.

Rating: A. This has been called the greatest tag match to ever air on television in the United States and….yeah it’s kind of hard to argue. The Midnights were as good of an in-ring team as you could get at this point (if not ever) and the Fantastics could go move for move with them. There is nothing in here remotely bad or even less than good, as everyone is working hard and looks incredibly crisp. Throw in that Eaton hat a 100+ degree fever and was so sick that Cornette was asking him if they needed to cancel the match and it’s even better. Absolutely check this out as it’s a tag team wrestling clinic.

From a WWE house show in New York City, New York, December 26, 2017.

Intercontinental Title: Roman Reigns vs. John Cena

Reigns is defending and I guess this works if it’s all you’ve got. They fight over a lockup to start as the fans are split, as usual in a big cena match. Reigns backs him up against the ropes so Cena grabs a headlock as they’re taking their time to start. That’s switched into a chinlock as Reigns can’t get very far early on. Back up and they go to a test of strength, with Reigns powering him out to the floor. Cena gets back in and is pretty easily knocked down, followed by a headbutt back outside.

We hit…I’m really not sure as it’s a one camera shoot and the fans are in the way but Cena takes over on the floor. Back in and the AA attempt is broken up but Cena grabs a tornado DDT. Reigns fights back with some big right hands and Cena’s comeback is cut off with the corner clotheslines. A big boot drops Cena again but he’s right back with the usual finishing sequence. The AA is countered into a sunset flip to give Reigns two, as does the Samoan drop.

The Superman Punch is pulled into the STF, only for Cena to let go to pull him back to the middle. Now the Superman Punch gets two, as does the AA, with the fans losing their minds on these near falls. Cena goes up but dives into a sitout powerbomb to leave them both down. Back up and they slug it out until Cena tries the AA again. That’s escaped though and the spear retains Reigns’ title at 17:59.

Rating: B. They had the big fight feel going here and that’s what it needed to be. This was the main event with the biggest star of the previous generation coming back to go after one of the biggest stars of today. That’s a main event level match and Cena knows how to bring it as well as anyone else. Good stuff here, especially for a house show with a red hot crowd.

From a WWE house show in Lafayette, Louisiana, March 10, 2024.

Kevin Owens/Becky Lynch vs. Grayson Waller/Nia Jax

Ok then. Waller’s running shoulder can’t get anywhere with Owens and a stomp on the foot doesn’t do much better. For some reason Waller shoves him in the face before handing it off to Jax. A shove actually puts Owens down and it’s off to Lynch for a high crossbody. Lynch kicks her way out of the corner and hits a Diamond Dust for two. The Disarm-Her is blocked so Lynch dropkicks her out to the floor instead.

Waller gets ping ponged between the two of them and a double suplex puts him down again. Jax is back in to run Lynch over though, setting up a reverse Stinkface in the ropes. The regular version makes it even worse as Lynch is gagging. Owens even gives her some water to wake her back up. Lynch fights out of the corner but Waller is right there to cut off the tag.

A Samoan drop gives Jax two and she can’t believe the kickout. Jax’s charge hits the post though and it’s off to Owens to beat up Waller. The backsplash gives Owens two but the Stunner is blocked. Jax forearms Owens into a rollup for two but misses a charge. Lynch Stunners Jax and Owens does the same to Waller, setting up the Manhandle Slam for the pin at 9:44.

Rating: C+. This was the definition of a fun house show match and that’s always nice to see. They didn’t do anything too complicated here and it was all about giving the fans something unique. Owens and Lynch worked well together and they beat up some annoying villains. What else do you want?

From Over The Limit 2012.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan

Punk is defending. Feeling out process to start with neither being able to get anywhere on the ropes. Instead Bryan grabs a headlock and hits a running shoulder, only to get hiptossed down. Punk takes him into the corner and starts in on the leg, including some cranking on the mat. Back up Bryan is able to flip over him out of the corner but the leg is kicked out again.

An Indian Deathlock is broken up as Bryan forearms him in the head, only for Punk to come back with a curb stomp. Bryan gets sent crashing out to the floor but drives Punk back first into the barricade. Punk is draped ribs first across the barricade and we hit the seated abdominal stretch back inside (with commentary reminding us that Kane recently injured Punk’s ribs).

Bryan switches into a surfboard with a dragon sleeper, followed by a heck of a running knee to the back. The Swan Dive gives Bryan two but Punk gets up for a double collision. Punk leg lariats him and hits the swinging neckbreaker as the comeback is on. A backdrop sends Bryan outside and the knee is banged up again. The suicide dive connects but Bryan is able to dropkick him out of the air.

One heck of a kick to the head gives Bryan two so he goes up, only to get crotched. A springboard clothesline gives Punk two and they go into a pinfall reversal sequence. Bryan can’t get the LeBell Lock but he can get kicked in the head for two. The top rope elbow connects but Punk’s knees are banged up again. Bryan gets the LeBell Lock in the middle of the ring, only for Punk to stack him up for the pin at 24:14. Punk taps a second after the pin but it is clearly after.

Rating: A-. This was every bit of the technical masterpiece that you would expect, with the hard strikes and some high flying thrown in. Punk winning clean is a bit of a surprise and thankfully they didn’t do anything screwy by having him tap at the same time. Naturally this didn’t headline the show because it wasn’t…let’s see here…John Cena vs. Johnny Ace. No wonder Punk had a chip on his shoulder.

From a WWF TV taping in Lowell, Massachusetts, August 18, 1993.

Mr. Hughes/Giant Gonzalez vs. Mr. Perfect/Randy Savage

This is the biggest “well ok” match I’ve seen in a bit and Harvey Wippleman is with the villains. Savage gets an interesting introduction with Mike McGuirk telling the fans to “give it all you got” for him. Hughes shoves the rather popular Perfect into the corner to start and then easily punches him down.

It’s off to Gonzalez, who looks even weirder than usual slowly hammering on Perfect. Hughes is back in and gives up the tag to Savage (who could pass for a Captain America knockoff), who is choked down by Gonzalez. A clothesline drops Savage again and it’s back to Hughes to miss a charge into the corner. Perfect comes back in to slug away, including a backdrop. Savage adds a top rope ax handle and Perfect gets a small package for the pin at 7:10.

Rating: C. The weird thing is this match actually made me feel bad for Gonzalez. There is only so much he could do against people literally a foot and a half shorter than him and that became quite the problem. Savage and Perfect couldn’t do much more than punch him, leaving Hughes as the only one they could do anything against. It’s not good, but it certainly had the spectacle.

From a WWE house show in Sydney, Australia, March 3, 2006.

Smackdown World Title: Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle vs. Undertaker

Angle is challenging. Orton bails to the floor to start, where some women are VERY excited to see him. We’re clipped to Orton back inside, with Undertaker hammering away. Orton bails outside so Angle rolls Undertaker up for two, earning himself a shot to the face. Henry comes back inside to choke Undertaker, as does Henry’s manager Daivari. Angle ankle locks Orton over the barricade, sending him into the crowd.

The other two join them, with Undertaker popping Orton with some right hands, sending him onto a woman who certainly does not seem to mind. Back in and Undertaker chinlocks Angle until Orton rather slowly rolls in for the save. Henry comes in to beat up Undertaker but Orton has to save him from the ankle lock. Undertaker is back up to stomp on Orton, who breaks up Old School.

A superplex puts Undertaker down for two and we’re clipped to Orton breaking up a superplex to Angle. The RKO is blocked but the Angle Slam hits Undertaker instead. We’re clipped again to Undertaker sitting up and chokeslamming Orton for two with Henry making a save. The Angle Slam finishes Orton to retain the title at about 9:00 shown. I won’t rate it due to the clips but what we saw looked good.

Post match Undertaker goes after Orton but has to beat up an invading JBL.

As has been the case with many shows over the years, we’ll wrap it up with a small package. This one features a collection of Mortis dark matches in WWE.

Velocity dark match, August 16, 2003.

Mortis vs. Austin Aries

Or “Austin Arius”, who is billed from St. Louis, where the match happens to be taking place. Aries strikes away to start but misses a high crossbody, allowing Mortis to strike away in the corner. A reverse Walls Of Jericho sends Aries over to the ropes and he gets some boots up in the corner. Aries is back with a discus forearm and a clothesline out to the floor. The slingshot dive misses but Aries is right back up for a missile dropkick. A sitout Dominator finishes Aries at 3:38.

Rating: C. I’m kind of surprised Aries didn’t get a closer look, as he was aggressive here and had some good looking high flying. You could tell he had the athleticism and balance that let him move around rather well. On the other and you have Mortis, who certainly looked cool and could have been fine enough without the Mortal Kombat stuff.

Velocity dark match, August 23, 2004.

Mortis vs. Truth Martini

Mortis punches him down to start but misses a springboard legdrop. Martini’s springboard spinning legdrop misses as well, allowing Mortis to hit a superkick. Back up and Mortis sends him into the corner for a middle rope Boston crab before sending Martini into the post. The crossarm choke goes on and a suplex drops Martini again. A tornado DDT gives Martini two of his own but he gets caught in an electric chair faceplant for the pin at 4:37.

Rating: C-. Ah now this was more like it, as there was nothing to Mortis here other than the look. Mortis does look cool, but his offense was “do a move, stand there, do another move, stand there again”, and so forth. That only works for so long and made a four and a half minute match feel a heck of a lot longer.

Velocity dark match, August 30, 2004.

Mortis/Funaki vs. Jack Bull/Mike Knox

Mortis strikes away at Bull to start so it’s off to Funaki, who gets beaten down by Knox. Bull comes back in to strike away. A reverse tornado DDT gets Funaki out of trouble and it’s back to Mortis. Everything breaks down and Mortis finishes Knox with a lifting Downward Spiral at 4:32.

Rating: C. Again, there’s just not much to say about these matches. Mortis is creepy looking but is teaming with the eternally likable Funaki against a pair of big bald guys. There was nothing to the match and Mortis certainly didn’t stand out, which is kind of the point of the whole thing.

Velocity dark match, October 25, 2003.

Mortis vs. John Walters

This is joined in progress for some reason with Walters flipping over him and hitting a clothesline for two. Walters’ neck crank doesn’t last long as Mortis is back up with a corner clothesline and a middle rope bulldog out of the corner. The superkick gets two and a sitout Alabama slam finishes Walters at 3:07.

Rating: C. Much like the previous matches, there’s something to the idea of this weird looking guy who does unique moves, but the whole Mortis deal was played so slowly. It was like Chris Kanyon was thinking “ok so I’m Mortis now” rather than getting into doing anything. This was another weak match and I’m not surprised WWE didn’t do anything with Mortis as a result.

Overall Rating: A-. The Mortis matches aren’t great, but they’re about the only things close to weak in this set. When you have the Flair vs. Steamboat match, that incredible Midnights/Fantastics match and the rather awesome Punk vs. Bryan match, almost anything else is going to be fine. I got lucky this time with a great set of matches and some actual rarities, which made for a rather fun (albeit crazy long) viewing. Check out those three matches for sure though, as they’re all worth your time.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Money in the Bank 2010
Date: July 18, 2010
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Jerry Lawler

This was streamed almost a year ago and for me, that’s a pretty fast turnaround. One of the things that often interests me is looking back at a show that I haven’t thought about since maybe two days after it originally aired. This is the inaugural standalone edition of the match, which makes it a bit more interesting as there was already a Money In The Bank match at Wrestlemania. Other than that there’s…well whatever else is on this show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about what you are willing to risk to have your dreams come true. Makes enough sense.

Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Christian vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Matt Hardy vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Kane vs. Big Show

For the Smackdown briefcase and Kingston is Intercontinental Champion. Striker talks about how Jack Swagger (6’6) has set the precedent for giants winning the briefcase. Cole immediately points out that size means nothing in these matches, cutting Striker off at the knees in the process. It’s a big brawl to start with Rhodes setting up a ladder and trying to go up. That doesn’t work well at all, as Kane and Show break it up and get in a fight of their own. Show gets the better of things and tries to climb…but breaks the rung.

After beating some people up, Show throws the ladder over the top and down onto Kane. Show goes outside to get a different ladder and is promptly beaten down. McIntyre loads up another ladder and sends Christian into it, meaning it’s time to set up the ladder inside. Hardy cuts him off but has to trade saves with Christian. Ziggler goes up top and slugs it out with Christian, who shoves him down.

Hardy breaks that up as well but the two of them have to double DDT Kane. Christian drops Hardy onto a bridged ladder but Hardy fights back and goes up again. That’s broken up as McIntyre pulls him down and sends various people into the post. Kane is back again and loads up the announcers’ table (Lawler makes sure to get his WWE Slurpee out of the way) but opts to grab a ladder instead.

Kingston (hey he’s still in this match) dropkicks the ladder into Kane’s face and then hits Trouble In Paradise to knock McIntyre onto the announcers’ table. The Boom Drop off the ladder drives McIntyre through the table (Striker: “That’s a Money In The Bank moment for Kofi Kingston!” Shut up Striker.) and they’re both down. Ziggler goes up and gets chokeslammed by Show, who then gets in a fight with Kane.

Show knocks him outside and then crushes Hardy and Christian underneath another ladder. That’s enough for Show to go outside and grab a huge, extra thick ladder. The ladder apparently weighs 350lbs so Show….can’t pull it over the top. He finally wakes up and shifts it underneath the top rope to get it inside. That takes way too long though and Rhodes makes the save with a ladder shot to the knee.

Ziggler pulls Rhodes down and goes in the direction of the giant ladder, with Show having none of that. Kingston springboards onto the ladder and tornado DDTs Show down. Rhodes dropkicks Kingston but gets sent crashing into the ladder to leave everyone down. It’s Show up next and climbing the big ladder, with Kane shoving him off and out to the floor. That means it’s time to bury Show underneath a pile of ladders, which is quite the visual.

A bunch of people go up the big ladder (which is big enough for two people to go up one side at a time), with Kane wrecking almost everyone. Ziggler jumps up behind him and grabs a sleeper, earning him a crash onto the pile of ladders (and Show underneath). Kingston is chokeslammed onto the same pile before Kane chases Rhodes up the ramp.

Rhodes is rammed into one of the armored trucks, allowing Kane to go up the ladder again. That’s cut off by Hardy and Christian’s double powerbomb, who get in a fight on top of the ladder. Both of them go crashing down…and McIntyre crawls back inside. He makes the slow climb, only to get chokeslammed by Kane, who gets the briefcase to win at 26:19.

Rating: B. There was a great match in there somewhere but it went on a bit too long and that hurt the whole things a bit. As a result, it was more just a good one, with all kinds of carnage and some big crashes. Show being buried was cool and Kane felt like an unstoppable monster who finally won the thing. I liked it quite a bit, but shave about five to eight minutes off and it’s that much better.

Raw World Champion Sheamus doesn’t want to hear about John Cena and the Nexus. Sheamus has been watching Nexus’ random attacks but he believed he was untouchable. Then on Raw he stared into their eyes and it was like looking at a soulless great white shark. He knows you have to worry about the Nexus, but no, of course he doesn’t respect Cena. Tonight, he’ll give Cena a worse beating than the Nexus did because he’s a bigger threat.

Raw Women’s Title: Eve Torres vs. Alicia Fox

Fox is defending. They fight over a lockup to start until Torres gets some rollups for two each. Torres’ running knee in the corner connects but a tornado DDT is blocked. Fox sends her back first into the apron and then bends said back over her knee. The double arm crank is on to stay on the back but Torres monkey flips her way out. Torres’ back gives out a bit but she’s able to put Fox down, setting up the standing moonsault for two. A kick to the head looks to set up a middle rope Swanton, which hits Fox’s raised knees. The ax kick retains the title at 5:53.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t a particularly great match but they had an easy story to follow and it made perfectly simple sense. You could see things going a bit better for the division around this point as the women were certainly getting at least a bit better. We were a long way off from it being great, but this is definitely a better result.

We look at Jack Swagger attacking Kane on Smackdown, with Rey Mysterio making the save and beating up Papa Swagger (as played by Bunkhouse Buck).

Swagger is on the phone with his mom, who isn’t happy with what he did. He finally tells her to shut up and seems to blame his father for what happened. Swagger says his dad got what he deserved for trying to steal the spotlight. He couldn’t risk Kane hurting him and his dad would have done the same thing. Tonight his dad can bask in his glory when he wins the World Title.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Hart Dynasty

The Usos, challenging and with Tamina (while Natalya is with the champs) have only been around for about two months and this is their first feud. Smith and Jey trade waistlocks to start with Smith getting the better of things. Kidd comes in for a hurricanrana but Jey goes with the more classic method of hitting Hart in the face. It’s off to Jimmy (thank goodness for different tights) to stomp away in the corner, followed by Jey’s running Umaga Attack for two.

The chinlock goes on but Smith is up with a backdrop to get out of trouble. Jimmy is right there to cut off the tag though and some stomping gets two. We’re already back to the chinlock, which is broken up just as fast for the tag to Kidd. House is cleaned but Kidd misses a blind tag and gets tossed into a Samoan drop for two. The Superfly Splash hits raised knees and it’s back to Smith for the big shoulder. Tamina’s distraction breaks up the Sharpshooter so Natalya takes her down, meaning the Sharpshooter can retain the titles at 5:53.

Rating: C+. This was a Raw match and pretty much nothing more, making it another case of filler. That’s kind of what happens when you have a pair of eight person matches as you don’t have much else to fill in the card. Unfortunately this isn’t the kind of a match that can be stretched out much longer, as 2010 wasn’t the best time for the tag division (granted that could be said about most of the time for….decades really).

We recap Rey Mysterio defending the Smackdown World Title against Jack Swagger. Mysterio won the title in a four way last month but now he has a torn ligament in his ankle. That’s quite the target for Swagger.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Jack Swagger

Mysterio is defending and badly limping on the way to the ring. Swagger goes right for the ankle to start, with Mysterio bailing straight to the ropes every time. An ankle lock attempt is cut off by some kicks to the head but it’s way too early for a 619. Instead Swagger powerslams him into the corner and ties him in the Tree Of Woe. The running shoulder misses though and Swagger bails outside, with Mysterio hitting a top rope seated senton

Back in and Mysterio gets caught on top, setting up a release belly to belly superplex. They head back outside, with Mysterio being sent into the announcers’ table for two back inside. Swagger starts in on the leg but Mysterio gets up, only to dive into…something like a Samoan drop. The running Vader Bomb misses though and Mysterio sends him into the corner for a split legged moonsault and a near fall. The sitout bulldog is countered into a wheelbarrow suplex to drop Mysterio again and a gutwrench powerbomb gets two.

A hurricanrana sends Swagger into the post but Swagger picks him up for a super powerslam. That’s reversed into a tornado DDT for a rather near fall and now the 619 connects. The West Coast Pop is blocked though and the Vader Bomb crushed Mysterio. Another Vader Bomb hits but Swagger would rather go after the leg than cover. The ankle lock goes on but Mysterio loses his boot and grabs a hurricanrana to retain at 10:46.

Rating: C+. So Swagger is done as a main eventer right? His whole thing is working on the ankle and he was fighting a much smaller opponent who had a bad ankle. Not only did he look like an idiot for not covering after hitting his other finisher twice, he then loses at all. The match was fine as a midcard fight, but this really didn’t feel like a World Title match.

Post match Swagger jumps him again and grabs the ankle lock. Cue Kane for the save and he chases Swagger to the back. Mysterio gets back up…and Kane is back with the briefcase. Eh points for a nice fake out.

Smackdown World Title: Kane vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is defending and tries to limp away but gets caught with a chokeslam. A Tombstone gives Kane the pin and the title at 53 seconds.  It’s LONG past the point where Kane got another title so I’ll take it.

Edge is watching in the back when Chris Jericho interrupts. Edge tells him he has eyes in the back of his head and they bicker over Money In The Bank in hushed tones.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Layla vs. Kelly Kelly

Layla is defending and Michelle McCool and Tiffany are here too. To give you an idea of where the title was at this point, Layla’s big issue with Kelly is….she thinks Kelly smells bad. Kelly slaps her into the corner to start but misses a handspring elbow. Layla can’t get very far and is kicked outside, where she ties Kelly’s knee up in the ring skirt. That means Layla can start in on the leg, with McCool getting to laugh at her.

Layla baseball slides Kelly into McCool, who sits on the barricade to pose a bit. Kelly shoves her down and hits the K2 back inside, with McCool putting the foot on the rope. That earns McCool a double clothesline on the floor so Kelly tries a middle rope sunset flip, which is (badly) reversed into a rollup to retain at 3:53.

Rating: D+. This was quite the mess, with the interference either not doing much or feeling like it was just a way to fill in time. That’s on top of Kelly losing clean in the end, which is hardly a way to make her look like important. And again: a title match was set up over someone smelling bad. What more do you need to know here?

We look back at the Smackdown Money In The Bank ladder match and Kane cashing in.

Randy Orton vs. The Miz vs. Mark Henry vs. Ted DiBiase vs. John Morrison vs. Chris Jericho vs. Evan Bourne vs. Edge

Raw Money In The Bank, Miz is US Champion, and DiBiase’s theme music starts with “IT’S A NEW DAY!” Like that would ever catch on in wrestling. Edge throws in a ladder and gets inside for the opening bell before bailing out to the floor. The other seven clear the ring so Edge goes up the ladder with Orton making the save. DiBiase drops Morrison onto a ladder but Bourne cuts him off with a ladder shot.

Miz and Jericho get in a fight, with Miz actually getting the better of things until Henry throws a ladder at both of them. Henry gets knocked outside so Bourne goes up, with Orton making a save this time. The hanging DDT drops Bourne off the ladder but Morrison is back up with a Flying Chuck to Orton. Miz and DiBiase get sent into a ladder bridged in the corner so it’s time for a bunch of people to go up. Henry makes the save and clears out a pair of ladders but gets knocked down as well. With everyone on the floor, Maryse (here with DiBiase) takes off her heels and goes up but Morrison pulls her down.

The distraction lets DiBiase get most of the way up until Morrison makes another save. Miz leans a ladder against the post on the floor as Cole starts singing his praises. Morrison is right there again and uses the ladder to climb up top, where he then rides another ladder to the main ladder to stop Edge.

Unfortunately that lets Edge trap Morrison in the ladder and put another ladder over him but DiBiase is back in. A ladder winds up upside down and we’ve got a big old contraption. For some reason DiBiase dives at Henry, who plants him with a World’s Strongest Slam. Miz gets dropped onto a ladder onto Jericho but Edge and Orton cut Henry off from the climb. Henry is sent outside, where he gives Bourne a World’s Strongest Slam of his own. Edge spears Henry and a bunch of people climb up at once.

DiBiase is laid on a bridged ladder and shoved down to the floor for a heck of a nasty crash. An RKO hits Edge, leaving Edge and Morrison to go up top. Jericho winds up hanging upside down and Bourne hits Air Bourne on Orton. Bourne touches the briefcase but Jericho pulls himself up for the save. Jericho shoves Bourne down for a heck of a crash of his own so Edge goes up at the same time. Edge knocks Jericho into an RKO but gets shoved into the upside down ladder (OUCH). Orton goes up but gets shoved down by Miz, who gets the briefcase for the win at 20:38.

Rating: B. This was a bit shorter than the opener, though it didn’t have quite the same huge feeling as the other either. At the same time, I can absolutely go for Miz winning as you have to give someone new the chance. Despite not being the most popular star, Miz absolutely earned this and he elevated himself through the roster for years to get to this point. It’s a heck of an earned moment and I still love it. Other than that, this had some big, hard hitting spots but it was a pretty run of the mill Money In The Bank ladder match, which isn’t the best result when it’s the third of the year.

Post match Miz grabs the mic and rants about how this validates him because he is a future WWE Champion. This is a heck of a promo and you can tell Miz is happy with showing that he is on this level.

We recap Sheamus defending the Raw World Title against John Cena. Sheamus won the title last month in a four way thanks to the Nexus’ interference. Cena wants Sheamus to help him fight the Nexus, which Sheamus FINALLY did (after running away from them, which may have been smarter). Instead they’ll be fighting for the title in a cage to keep things more even. Sheamus beating Cena to win his first World Title, over Cena, has been mentioned a few times as well.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging in a cage. Sheamus wins the battle over a lockup to start and takes Cena into the corner to stomp away. That’s broken up as Cena takes him down to hammer away but charges into an elbow. Sheamus takes him outside the ropes for a face rake against the cage. Back up and Cena tries the shoulders, only to go flying into the cage. Sheamus tries to go up and gets caught in a superplex for his efforts.

The comeback takes too long though and Sheamus hits a DDT for two. The fans are of course behind Cena (they’re good about that) but a running ax handle to the head cuts them off. It works so well that Sheamus does it again and grabs a sleeper. Cena powers up but Sheamus jumps up for a bodyscissors of all things (Striker: “Nice.”) to bring him back down. They get up again and Cena climbs the corner with Sheamus on his back, only for Sheamus to drop down and sweep the leg.

Sheamus’ climb is cut off with a crash onto the ropes and they’re both down again. Now the running shoulders work a bit better for Cena and they go up top again. Sheamus is sent crashing down…but Cena would rather try, and miss, a super Five Knuckle Shuffle than climb out. We switch things up a bit as Cena is tied up in the ropes and Sheamus climbs over to him. Naturally Cena escapes and makes the save, with a super bulldog getting two. Back up and Sheamus grabs the Irish Curse and they’re both down again.

The Brogue Kick knocks Cena silly but Sheamus makes the brilliant move of climbing then stopping to pick Cena back up. The quick AA gives Cena two and here they come. Cue the Nexus with some bolt cutters to open the cage…but the referee manages to take them away. Another referee pulls the key out of his pocket and throws it into the crowd.

As this is going on, the referee inside gets bumped, meaning Cena’s STF makes Sheamus tap to no one. For reasons of “good guys in wrestling are stupid”, Cena lets go and climbs over the top, where Nexus is waiting on him. That’s enough interference for Sheamus to climb out and retain at 23:01.

Rating: C. This was pretty slow and the problem of Nexus is you’re just sitting there waiting around for them to show up. That doesn’t make for the best match and Sheamus was far from the better star that he would become. It’s not a bad match, but that was a long wait for Nexus to FINALLY get there.

Post match Sheamus sprints into the crowd and runs off. Cena is livid and beats up Michael Tarver before promising to take out every member of the Nexus before storming off to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. If you’ve been around long enough, you know how Money In The Bank shows work. You have two matches getting most of the focus and ring time, with maybe one other match feeling important. The cage match was big enough while Mysterio vs. Swagger was just…nothing. I liked the ladder matches and Kane cashing in was cool, but the ending felt more like a way to set up something for later. Good enough show, but it needed more than just the ladder matches.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestlemania XXIV
Date: March 30, 2008
Location: Citrus Bowl, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 74,365
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz

This show has had a pretty strong build as the card has been all but set for a few weeks now. The bigger matches include Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Edge defending the Smackdown World Title against the Undertaker, plus the Raw World Title triple threat match as Randy Orton defends against John Cena and HHH. Throw in Shawn Michaels trying to end Ric Flair’s career and that’s a heck of a card. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Elijah Burke, The Miz, Chuck Palumbo, Snitsky, Deuce, Tommy Dreamer, Shannon Moore, Jamie Noble, Kofi Kingston, Festus, Cody Rhodes, Lance Cade, Hardcore Holly, Jesse, Stevie Richards, Trevor Murdoch, The Brian Kendrick, The Great Khali, Jimmy Wang Yang, Domino, Mark Henry, Val Venis, Kane, Jim Duggan

The winner gets an ECW Title match later in the show. The bell rings so Festus snaps, allowing him to toss out Deuce and Domino rather quickly. Khali tosses Duggan and Burke gets rid of Richards, only to get eliminated by Kane. Miz, Yang, Moore and Jesse go out in a hurry, with Venis going out somewhere in there.

Murdoch, Festus, Kendrick and Cage go as well as the ring clears out VERY fast. Henry throws Kingston on top of the pile, followed by Noble (who tries to walk on the eliminated bodies but gets knocked down), Rhodes and Palumbo. A bunch of people get rid of Khali, Dreamer and Holly, leaving us with Henry, Kane and Snitsky. Kane gets rid of Snitsky, slips away from Henry and kicks him out for the win/title shot.

Rating: D. This is one of those “let’s get everyone on the DVD” matches and they didn’t bother wasting time with anything else. Kane winning is a fine way to go as he is pretty easily the biggest name in the match. There is almost no reason to not put the title on him later in the night and at least they didn’t waste time announcing the title match in advance, as Chavo Guerrero vs. Kane is hardly some huge showdown.

John Legend sings the America the Beautiful.

The opening video talks about how important it is to be here, as well how much has changed in a year. It’s not do much a sequel to last year, as much as it is the grand culmination of a rather eventful year. Cool video, as WWE nails these most of the time.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Finlay

Belfast Brawl (street fight) and kind of a weird choice for an opener. JBL gets the limo entrance and we look at a quick recap of JBL attacking Hornswoggle (Finlay’s son) as Vince McMahon’s mercenary. As you might expect, Hornswoggle is back as well. They start the fight on the floor with JBL getting the better of things before the bell. Finlay reverses a whip into the steps and they’re back inside for the bell.

That means it’s time to go outside for some weapons, with JBL grabbing a trashcan for a heck of a shot to Finlay’s head. The steps are brought in but JBL gets backdropped off of them for a crash. JBL hammers him back down and grabs the shillelagh but Hornswoggle gets in a kendo stick shot for the save. Finlay shillelaghs JBL down and the fans are rather pleased, with Finlay pulling out a table to make them even happier.

With the table up in the corner, a heck of a clothesline drops JBL again but he goes outside and slaps Hornswoggle. Finlay goes nuts and unloads on JBL, who manages to grab a trashcan lid. The suicide dive (oh dear) is lidded out of the air and JBL even kicks Hornswoggle down. Back in and a trashcan shot to the head puts JBL down for a change, setting up the spear through the table. Finlay grabs the steps but JBL knocks out his knee, sending Finlay face first into them. The Clothesline From JBL finishes Finlay off.

Rating: B-. It wasn’t a classic but they beat each other up rather well and started the show off pretty well. It’s a bit weird to see JBL win as the villain comes out on top, but at the same time he’s a much bigger star than Finlay. Even from fighting underneath, Finlay beating JBL would have been a big upset. It might have been the better result though, but at least it was a solid opener.

Kim Kardashian is the guest host and talks about the Money In The Bank ladder match. Mr. Kennedy interrupts to say he’ll win again this year to become the first ever back to back winner. Kardashian laughs at him repeating his name.

John Morrison vs. Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. CM Punk vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Chris Jericho vs. MVP

Money In The Bank. Everyone but MVP bails to the floor to go for a ladder to start, leaving MVP to steal one of the ladder that slides in. Some shots to the face put various other people down but here is Jericho with the big ladder. That means a ladder off (?) with MVP being knocked outside, leaving Morrison to pick up a ladder and moonsault down with it onto the pile (there’s a highlight reel moment).

Back in and Jericho cuts off Kennedy’s climb but catapults him into the ladder in a bit of a mistake. Kennedy can’t get the briefcase so Morrison jumps onto the ladder for the slugout. Benjamin sets up his own ladder and joins the two of them, setting up a sunset bomb into a Tower Of Doom (geez) off the ladders. Carlito breaks up Benjamin’s climb and hits him with the GTS. MVP comes in to knock some people down but misses a running boot in the corner.

It’s Carlito getting pulled down this time so Benjamin Dragon Whips him down. Benjamin goes up until Carlito and Kennedy shove his ladder over…sending him through a bridged ladder at ringside. Kennedy, Carlito and Jericho go up but MVP shoves the ladder over, only to be taken out by Morrison as the carnage continues. Jericho gets the Walls on Morrison on top of the ladder (geez that looks painful/scary) until he has to stop Kennedy.

Hold on though as Carlito and Punk springboard onto the ladders, setting up the big crashes, including Carlito’s super Backstabber to Jericho. That leaves MVP all alone so he goes up but Matt Hardy (in gear) runs in to make the save and reignite their feud. A super Twist of Fate brings MVP off the ladder and Matt runs off through the crowd, leaving Jericho to wedge two ladders together, making kind of a big V (Daddy not included).

Morrison goes up and gets knocked down just as fast, including a crotching on top. Jericho’s climb is cut off by an apple to the face but Kennedy shoves Carlito into a ladder in the corner. Punk makes the save but gets Codebreakered into a ladder to leave everyone down. That lets Jericho go up until Punk starts the slugout. Punk gets smart by tying Jericho’s leg in the ladder and gets the briefcase for the win.

Rating: B. Yeah these matches can be interchangeable but dang they are a lot of fun. This was another spotfest and Punk winning the briefcase is about as big of an endorsement as he could have gotten here. I’d still like to see one or two fewer people in there but Benjamin getting taken out softened things a bit. Heck of a fun match and that’s all it needed to be.

We see the video from last night’s Hall Of Fame induction ceremony.

Here is the Class Of 2008 (dang that music is still great):

Brisco Brothers (how Jack wasn’t in already is beyond me)
Gordon Solie (you can’t forget that voice)
Rocky Johnson (complete with a shuffle)
Peter Maivia (I hear he’s a family man)
Eddie Graham (had to be inducted in Florida)
Mae Young (again, how was she not in before)
Ric Flair (who thankfully isn’t here to tell us about how great he is)

Snoop Dogg is having a great time here so far and he has found someone he sees eye to eye with, from movies to food to cars to everything. That would be Festus but Santino Marella comes in to threaten Snoop….who whips out a bell to send Festus after Santino. Todd Grisham asks where the bell came from so here is Mick Foley, complete with Mr….would it be Snoopo?

Batista vs. Umaga

Smackdown vs. Raw so Theodore Long and William Regal are here. Batista powers him into the corner to start and a shoulder sends Umaga outside for a breather. Back in and a spinwheel kick drops Batista for a change, followed by a splash to the back for two. The nerve hold goes on, which seems a bit early for this one. With that broken up, a powerslam from Umaga sets up…another nerve hold. The Samoan drop gives Umaga two but the Samoan Spike is blocked. Umaga misses a charge into the post, gets spinebustered, and the Batista Bomb (with Batista falling backwards) finishes him off.

Rating: D. Oh this was bad, as it was Batista laying around a lot and then doing his two big finishers. They had built this up as a big match and Batista barely did anything for most of the match. While Umaga had fallen a long way, he was able to do more than this. Normally I would complain about their lack of time, but I don’t want to imagine how much worse this would have been if it had gone longer. Pretty awful match.

We look at the tale of the tape for Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr.

We look at Kane becoming the new #1 contender to the ECW World Title on the pre-show.

ECW World Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Kane

Chavo is defending and loses the title to a chokeslam in a record eleven seconds. That’s how it should have gone as there was no reason to believe Chavo would be a threat to Kane.

Here’s the Carlito/Maria ad for the show you’re already watching. Weird.

Raven Symmone is very loud and introduces a bunch of Make-A-Wish kids. That’s always cool. The kids, not Symmone.

We recap Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels. Flair is still on his winning streak, as he has to retire whenever he loses his next match, so now he wants to face one of the best ever in Shawn, or he doesn’t want to be here anymore. Shawn thinks he has to put Flair down, but Flair isn’t about to go down without a fight. This include an AMAZING tribute video to Flair, set to Leave The Memories Alone. I’m not a Flair fan but dang this worked well.

Flair says his game plan is to be the man. WOO!

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Flair retires if he loses. Shawn takes him down to start and teases a strut but Flair is back up with a hammerlock. That’s reversed into one from Shawn and they get up for a standoff, complete with WOO. Flair takes him into the corner and brings up the Old Yeller line, earning a shot to the face from Shawn (busting a lip in the process).

A quick slugout goes to Shawn so he goes up top, only to get slammed off. Flair goes up and hits the high crossbody for two in a Starrcade 83 callback. Back up and Shawn sends him outside again, only to have an Asai moonsault hit the edge of the announcers’ table (as in not Flair) to do some serious damage to his ribs. The count is beaten so Flair goes right after the ribs, including a suplex for two.

Shawn knocks him outside again though and hits the moonsault off the top for another knockdown. Back in and they chop it out again until Michaels hits the flying forearm into the nipup. The top rope elbow hits Flair but Shawn can’t bring himself to fire the superkick. You don’t do that to Flair, who grabs the Figure Four, which is turned over without much trouble. Shawn sunset flips him for two more but Flair is right back to the leg, as is his bread and butter.

There’s the Figure Four again and this time it stays on a lot longer. The rope is grabbed to get Shawn out of trouble and he nails Sweet Chin Music out of nowhere. A very delayed cover gets two so Shawn loads it up again, only to have Flair fall down. Shawn’s attempt at picking him up earns himself the required low blow for two but Flair can’t follow up either.

Instead, Shawn pulls him into that inverted Figure Four of his, sending Flair to the rope for a change. They chop it out from their knees until Shawn hits another Sweet Chin Music. Shawn won’t cover so he goes to the corner, with Flair getting back up. Flair says bring it, so Shawn says “I’m Sorry, I Love You” and superkicks him for the pin.

Rating: B. This is a weird one to rate as it is a farewell for Flair, but not exactly a classic. At the end of the day, Flair has been able to wrestle a completely acceptable match for a long time now but there is a big gap between that and hanging in there on this level. It didn’t exactly feel like a classic and the drama was limited, but what we got was certainly good. The problem is that when you think of Flair vs. Michaels on the stage of Wrestlemania, you expect a bit more than “good”. That being said, Flair gets to out with a solid match on the grand stage against a legend. What more could you reasonably ask for?

Shawn immediately leaves so Flair can have the big moment. Flair kisses and hugs his family and makes the long walk up the aisle before blowing one last kiss to the crowd. Yeah it’s an emotional moment, as like him or not, Flair is still a legend and one of the last links to the glory days of the 70s/80s.

Edge talks about being at Wrestlemania VI and seeing Hulk Hogan lose in the main event. It was ok though, because it has come full circle and now he is here again. See, everyone can count on the Undertaker at Wrestlemania but tonight, he takes everything away from them, just like Hogan losing took it away from him. That makes sense.

Fireworks go off.

Maria/Ashley vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina

This is the Playboy Bunnymania match, meaning a lumberjill match with Snoop Dogg as the Master of Ceremonies. Naturally Snoop comes to the ring in what looks like a Mercedes golf cart, with most of the women following him. Santino Marella is here with the villains. Ashley drives Beth into the corner to start so Maria can come in. Melina gets sent to the floor for a quick beating from the lumberjills, setting up Maria’s Bronco Buster back inside.

Ashley comes back in and gets caught in the wrong corner. A trip to the floor goes badly for Ashley as well and Beth grabs the bearhug. With that broken up, Beth electric chairs Melina into a moonsault onto Ashley (not bad) for a near fall….and the lights go out. As in an actual lights issue, not an Undertaker cameo.

We get a spotlight as Maria (now legal) hits a crossbody for two on Beth. The Glam Slam is countered into a bulldog for two and Beth’s spear hits Melina by mistake. Ashley dives off the apron onto a bunch of lumberjills, leaving Maria to hit a top rope bulldog for two on Beth, with Santino making the save. Jerry Lawler gets up and decks Santino but Beth hits the fisherman’s buster to pin Maria.

Rating: D. Well ok then. This is one of those matches that was never going to be very good in the first place, but then it got a bit more time than I was expecting (even at five minutes) and the villains win. The match was supposed to be little more than goofy fun and you can’t have Maria get in a rollup for the pin? Just a rather weird choice and I’m not sure why they went this way.

Post match Snoop Dogg drops Santino and kisses Maria.

We recap the Raw World Title match, with Randy Orton defending against John Cena and HHH. Cena and HHH are both coming back from major injuries, with Orton having risen to the top during their absences. Now both of them are back to win the title at Wrestlemania, but Orton doesn’t quite see it that way.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. John Cena vs. HHH

Orton is defending and Cena’s big entrance this year is a marching band playing him to the ring (that’s rather cool). The bell rings and Orton hits HHH with the bell before brawling with Cena. HHH gets back up and takes Orton outside to beat him over the announcers’ table, followed by the sleeper back inside. Cena picks both of them up but HHH slips out and kicks him low. Orton is back up as well and knocks HHH down to stomp away at both of them.

Cena catches Orton up top but a HHH distraction lets Orton reverse into a sunset flip for two. Another hard shot puts HHH down and Orton hits a double hanging DDT. The RKO to Cena is countered with a shove, leaving Orton to land on HHH. The Throwback hits Orton and the top rope Fameasser takes him down again. Back up and HHH goes after Orton’s knee and slowly stomps away. Cena’s distraction lets the RKO drop HHH but Cena pulls Orton into the STFU.

Orton is about to tap so HHH grabs his hand and pulls it to the rope in a smart move. A whip into the steps takes Cena down and HHH grabs the Indian Deathlock on Orton, because of course he has to do that. Cena sends HHH over the ropes and grabs the STFU on Orton again, only to have HHH make another save. HHH grabs a crossface on Cena but gets broken up, meaning it’s time for the slugout. The FU and Pedigree are both broken up so HHH hits a face/spinebuster. Another shot to the knee takes Orton down and there’s the Pedigree to Cena….but Orton Punts HHH and pins Cena to retain the title.

Rating: B-. It’s an interesting way to go to have Orton retain, but if you want him to have him feel like a bigger main event, giving him the win at Wrestlemania makes as much sense as anything else. Orton can drop the title to one of them alter if he has to but for now, he gets the win that he needs. The match wasn’t exactly great though and felt like almost any other big time triple threat, with one person being out for most of it so the others could fight. Then Orton stole the pin, which is far too common of a finishing sequence in something like this. Not awful, but I’d call it pretty disappointing.

We recap Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr., in a package that is cut from Peacock, likely for music. Mayweather broke Show’s jaw with a punch at No Way Out so Show is trying to take him out. This is billed as the Best Fighter In The World vs. the Largest Athlete In The World and is as McMahon Freak Show style as you can get.

Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Pinfall, submission or knockout only. Mayweather comes out with his entourage and makes money rain from the sky for a festive entrance. The bell rings and Mayweather, in boxing gloves runs away to start before hitting a few shots to the ribs. Hold on though as Mayweather needs water (from a chalice, because of course) so Show beats up part of the entourage.

Back in and Mayweather goes for the right hand to the face but Show pulls it out of the air. The big stomp on the hand misses so Show grabs him by the throat on the corner. A few right hands don’t do much to Show so Mayweather grabs the required sleeper. That’s broken up so Show goes after the hand again and stands on Mayweather, which has the entourage shouting that how THAT IS AGAINST THE RULES!

The big chop in the corner drops Mayweather again and there’s a side slam to crush him. Show gets creative by dropping a leg on the arm and that’s enough for the entourage to pull Mayweather out. That goes as well as you might expect and they go back to the ring, with Mayweather being mostly done.

The entourage tries to come in and gets dropped, with a chair shot having no effect on Show. Mayweather gets the chair and drops Show (after a guy twice his size couldn’t even stagger him), setting up a low blow. Some chair shots to the head stagger Show again so Mayweather grabs brass knuckles from the entourage to knock Show silly for the knockout win.

Rating: C+. This was a total mess and incredibly entertaining throughout. There is something fun about seeing Mayweather get beaten up, even if he won in the end. It made sense to not bother trying to do anything else here than having a goofy match and that is what they pulled off. Good enough stuff here, even if it was mainly Show doing slow motion stuff and Mayweather’s entourage getting beaten up. Still though, they knew what they had here and it worked.

The attendance, as announced by Kim Kardashian: 74,635.

We recap Edge vs. Undertaker for Edge’s Smackdown World Title. The focus is on both of them being undefeated at Wrestlemania, with Edge seemingly being more obsessed with giving Undertaker his first loss rather than retaining the title. Undertaker just wants to hut Edge, as tends to be the case to anyone who has hurt him before. Like Edge, who cost him the World Title and then stole it for himself.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Undertaker

Edge is defending and gets his neck snapped across the top rope to start. Undertaker hammers away back inside and starts cranking on the arm, as is his custom. Old School is broken up and Edge sends him to the apron for a shoulder into the barricade. A running neckbreaker snaps Undertaker’s neck across the top to even things up a bit, meaning Edge gets in some Wrestlemania worthy posing.

Undertaker finally gets back in, where he is caught with a missile dropkick. Edge takes too long to go up again and gets shoved to the floor, setting up the required Taker Dive. Back in and Undertaker’s banged up back means the Last Ride doesn’t work so Edge takes him back outside. There’s a drop onto the barricade, followed by the half crab to keep Undertaker in trouble back inside.

Make that a double leg crank until Undertaker kicks him away for a needed breather. Undertaker wins the slugout and Snake Eyes connects, only to have Edge hit a dropkick to block the big boot (that’s smart). The chokeslam is countered into the Edgecution for two and frustration is setting in. Back up and the chokeslam gives Undertaker two but Old School is countered again (as the theme of Edge knowing everything that is coming continues).

A superplex brings Undertaker back down but for some reason, Edge decides to punch away in the corner. The pose lets Undertaker try the Last Ride, which is countered into a neckbreaker to give Edge two. Another Last Ride attempt connects for two but the Tombstone is countered into the Edge-O-Matic. Undertaker is up again and Old School connects, only to have a big boot hit the referee (you knew that was coming).

Edge goes low and grabs a camera, which knocks Undertaker silly for….well nothing actually as the referee falls to the floor. For reasons of delusions of grandeur, Edge tries his own Tombstone, which is reversed into the real thing, with another referee running down to count the near fall. Cue the Edgeheads to get beaten up, allowing Edge to hit a spear for two. Another spear is pulled into Undertaker’s choke and Edge has to tap away the title.

Rating: A-. That felt like a Wrestlemania main event as you had Edge countering every single time but ultimately not being good enough to beat Undertaker, even with the interference. Edge had his game plan but got a bit too cocky a few times, allowing Undertaker to catch up fast. Undertaker getting his title back and vanquishing Edge in the process is a great way to close the show, and the fact that it came in an excellent match makes it even better.

Undertaker celebrates and pyro rains.

The big highlight video wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a show where there is a lot of good stuff but the bad drags it down, with only the main event really standing out as great. Other than that you have Money In The Bank doing its usual stuff, Flair’s farewell as a special moment, a freak show match with Show vs. Mayweather and a just pretty good Raw World Title match. That really isn’t enough to carry a nearly four hour Wrestlemania, leaving it as a good enough show, but far from a classic or all time show.

 

 

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Wrestlemania XXII
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
America The Beautiful: Michelle Williams

It’s time to go back to an arena, which is quite the change of pace after doing these things in stadiums for so long. Things are in a bit of a weird place for the company as John Cena is still establishing himself as the guy and is defending against HHH. The other story is Eddie Guerrero coming back to life, putting on a mask and trying to win the Smackdown World Title under the name of Rey Mysterio. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Eugene, Viscera, Snitsky, Goldust, Lance Cade, Rob Conway, Tyson Tomko, Trevor Murdoch, Matt Striker, Super Crazy, Funaki, Steven Richards, Simon Dean, Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, Psicosis, Animal, William Regal

Here’s the “get everyone on the show match” and they’re in Raw/Smackdown shirts because it’s an interpromotional battle royal, despite it being every man for themselves. Dean tries to run his mouth before the match and is immediately tossed out. Conway shows disloyalty by taking off his Raw shirt and is quickly tossed out. Funaki is out as the ring is starting to clear out a bit. Cade gets eliminated and Richards follows him out, with Crazy, Goldust and Regal all being tossed as well.

MNM gives Eugene a Snapshot and gets rid of him before the remaining stars draw a big line and go show vs. show. Psicosis and Murdoch are both out and we’re down to six. Viscera crushes Morrison and Nitro in the corner while Tomko and Snitsky beat up Animal in another corner.

The big splash misses for Viscera but he’s fine enough to hit a DDT on Mercury. We get a double Visagra (Tazz: “Not the Brokeback spot!” Cole: “Melts in your mouth, not in your hand!”) and Nitro and Mercury are both out. Snitsky gets rid of Tomko and we’re down to three. Viscera dumps Animal (that’s a choice) and then fires Snitsky out for the win at 9:04.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure why you wouldn’t have Animal win this as it means nothing and could have given the fans a nice moment to start the show off. Viscera winning is fine, but that’s the whole point of the whole match: anyone would have been fine, but Animal winning would have made the fans happy. There’s nothing wrong with having a bunch of midcarders thrown into a match like this, but the result felt like they missed the layup.

Post match Viscera gyrates at Lilian Garcia and kisses her (they used to be a thing), leaving her looking rather annoyed.

Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child sings America The Beautiful.

The opening video, set to Shinedown’s I Dare You, looks at various Wrestlemania moments over the years. This includes looking at various stars from back in the day and what they are doing now for a nice touch. Then we get into the traditional looks at the bigger matches on the card.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Big Show/Kane

Show and Kane are defending, with Kane’s entrance seeing the buildings in the set lighting on fire for a really cool touch. Masters knocks Kane down to start but walks into a dropkick for his efforts. Show comes in for the overly loud chops but Masters rakes his eyes, allowing the tag off to a reluctant Carlito. The fans are pleased to see Carlito, who is crotched on the top rope in quite the landing. With Masters knocked to the floor, Show throws Carlito onto him for the big crash.

Not to be outdone, Kane hits the top rope clothesline onto both of them. Back in and Carlito dropkicks Show’s knee out, sending Show into an exposed buckle. A flapjack gets two on Show but he suplexes both of them and brings Kane back in to clean house. The top rope clothesline is countered into the Masterlock but Show breaks it up rather quickly. Carlito’s Backstabber hits Kane but Masters accidentally knocks Carlito silly. Kane kicks Masters in the face and chokeslams Carlito to retain at 6:42.

Rating: C. I’m not sure why this needed to be on the Wrestlemania card as it was a decent Raw match at best. Kane and Big Show were absolute monsters and it was hard to fathom that they would be in any real danger of losing the titles. Carlito and Masters weren’t exactly top level challengers either, but they would be featured in the midcard for a good while. Kane and Show would lose the titles to the Spirit Squad the next night on Raw.

Post match Carlito and Masters get in an argument and Carlito leaves on his own. Both teams would face off in singles match the next month at Backlash.

Shawn Michaels is ready to end Vince McMahon. He has a history of stealing the show at Wrestlemania but don’t expect a five star match from him tonight. Instead, expect violence and a different kind of Michaels. McMahon better be praying to the God above because Shawn is taking him to h***.

Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Finlay vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Ric Flair

Money In The Bank. Naturally it’s a big brawl to start with Hardy grabbing the first ladder. As usual, said ladder is kicked into him, in this case by Van Dam, who hits a slingshot dive onto the ladder onto Hardy as well. Not to be outdone, Benjamin hits a big step up flip dive off the ladder onto a pile at ringside. Flair goes up the ladder but Hardy suplexes him down for the big crash and all that screaming.

That’s enough for the referee to throw up an X and Flair is helped to the back. With five left for the moment, Van Dam hits Rolling Thunder onto Benjamin onto the ladder, leaving both of them down. Lashley goes up but gets cut down as the fans are behind Van Dam. Finlay throws a ladder at Hardy to cut him off and loads up said ladder, only to have Flair come back and take him down.

Flair goes up but gets shillelaghed back down, leaving Lashley to Dominator Benjamin. Lashley tries the climb but gets dropkicked down by Van Dam, who drives a chair into his back for the save. Instead of climbing, Hardy drops a leg off the ladder onto Lashley before Side Effecting Finlay off the ladder.

Since Finlay is already having a bad day, Van Dam climbs the ladder for a splash onto Finlay for the big crash. Van Dam goes up but Benjamin springboards onto the ladder (geez) for a slugout. Hardy climbs another ladder so Benjamin steps over to join them, only for Van Dam to kick said ladder over. That’s enough for Van Dam to get the briefcase at 12:15.

Rating: B-. I wasn’t feeling this one nearly as much as some of the ladder matches, as this was pretty quick without much in the way of memorable stuff. Flair was pulled out and was then back in about two minutes, meaning there was only so much drama. No one really stood out here, save for Benjamin’s springboard onto the ladder. It wasn’t bad, but it didn’t stand out or pull me in, as they hadn’t really started going nuts with this thing yet.

New Hall Of Famer Gene Okerlund is glad to keep celebrating but Randy Orton comes in to say he’s winning the Smackdown World Title tonight. The injured Batista comes in to say he’s waiting on the winner. He’ll be World Champion by Wrestlemania XXIII. True actually.

We get the Hall Of Fame Class Of 2006 (minus Bret Hart, who was uncomfortable being here):

Gene Okerlund (not much of a reaction actually)
Sensational Sherri (VERY happy to be here)
Tony Atlas (thankfully minus foot jokes)
Verne Gagne (I’d think he’s worthy)
William Refrigerator Perry (dude, get a suit)
The Blackjacks (with some snappy hats)
Eddie Guerrero (there’s your big pop)

A bunch of the other inductees come over to hug Vickie Guerrero in a nice moment.

United States Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

JBL, with Jillian Hall, is challenging and the stage rises up so his limo can come in. Benoit slugs away to start so JBL cuts him off with a headlock. The Crossface attempt doesn’t work, even with Benoit firing off a bunch of headbutts. Back up and some chops drop JBL again but the Sharpshooter doesn’t work either. Instead JBL rolls outside and hides behind Hall, which is enough for JBL to take over back inside.

Benoit avoids a charge in the corner though and the rolling German suplexes have JBL down again. The Swan Dive is broken up and JBL mocks the Eddie Guerrero dance, as you might have expected. A superplex brings Benoit back down for the big crash and a rather delayed cover gets two. JBL gets in Two Amigos before booting Benoit in the face, setting up the chinlock. Benoit suplexes his way to freedom and hits his own Three Amigos. Now the Swan Dive can connect and the Crossface goes on, only for JBL to stack him up and grab the ropes for the pin and the title at 9:46.

Rating: B-. They were going with the idea of the power vs. the technical stuff here, though JBL was trying to get technical as well to surprise Benoit. That worked out well enough, though it was far from some instant classic. JBL needed a win like this after losing for so many months after dropping the title to Cena last year.

We recap Edge vs. Mick Foley. Edge was annoyed over losing the WWE Title so quickly and got a rematch, only for Foley, as the guest referee, to cost him the title. The beating and challenge were on, with Edge taunting Foley for not having the defining Wrestlemania moment (because headlining the show just doesn’t count). Foley was up for a hardcore match and Edge accepted, albeit with a Conchairto, in an attempt to draw out the old Foley, which is never a good idea.

Joey Styles joins commentary in JR’s face because he knows hardcore. Eh fair enough.

Mick Foley vs. Edge

Lita is here with Edge and anything goes, with falls counting anywhere. Foley comes to the ring with his (gray for some reason) flannel shirt buttoned up, which just seems rather ominous. Edge wastes no time in swinging a baseball bat at but Foley knocks it away and hits a faceplant. The Tree Of Woe elbow hits Edge but he’s right back up with a boot to the face. Lita starts throwing in the weapons, with a cookie sheet to the head rocking Foley again.

The spear hits Foley….but Edge is hurt. Foley gets up and opens his shirt to reveal barbed wire wrapped around his stomach (and the signature red flannel shirt), which makes the first few minutes all the more insane. Edge’s arm is cut open as Foley cuts the wire off and whips Edge’s back. Edge gets tied in the ropes and nothing good can come from this. Foley busts out the barbed wire baseball bat but Lita makes the save by jumping on his back.

That’s fine with Foley, who hits a Cactus Clothesline to take all of them to the floor. The running knee is countered with a toss into the steps though, followed by a more standard whip into said steps. It’s table time (of course), with Lawler saying you never know what’s underneath a WWE ring. Eh you kind of do, as it’s the same in almost every match. One heck of a head slam onto the ramp gives Edge two and they go back inside, where Edge covers Foley with lighter fluid (oh dear). Lawler: “What is Edge going to do here? Like Mick Foley on fire?” Styles: “YOU THINK???”

Foley gets in a quick piledriver to avoid the whole burning alive thing but Lita cuts off the Conchairto. Edge gets in a shot of his own but the near fall just makes him madder. Some barbed wire bat shots have Foley down, including one to the face to bust him open (you knew that was coming). A bulldog onto the bat gets two so now it’s time for thumbtacks. Naturally Edge gets dropped onto said tacks and it’s time for Mr. Socko, complete with some bonus barbed wire.

Lita gets the Mandible Claw as well and her mouth is busted for a great visual. The barbed wire bat hits Edge (who still has tacks in his back). A bat to the face busts Edge open and Lawler thinks it can’t get much worse. Then Foley gets the lighter fluid and Lawler is proven wrong. The table at ringside is covered in the fluid but Lita gets in a bat shot to Foley. The table is lit on fire and Edge spears Foley through the ropes and through the table for the pin at 14:38.

Rating: A. This is pretty much the only thing that is remembered from this show and that shouldn’t be a huge surprise. This was two people absolutely destroying each other, with Foley turning back the clock for another instant classic to boost someone else up the ranks. It was in the same vein as the 2000 Royal Rumble and Backlash 2004, which is some of the best work of Foley’s career. Excellent stuff here as it felt like a war, with Edge being taken to another level.

Edge and Lita leave, with Edge looking like he’s in shock. Foley gets a standing ovation on the way out, which is well deserved. Of note: Foley’s wife called him after the match…to check on Edge. Of course.

Sharmell begs Booker T. to not make her face the Boogeyman and asks why freaks follow Booker around. They then run into Paul Burchill, Ted DiBiase, Eugene, Snitsky, Fabulous Moolah, Mae Young (getting her feet kissed) and Goldust, naturally dressed as Oprah. Goldust says Booker needs to accept his inner freak to beat the Boogeyman and suggests where Booker put the worms. Booker panics and leaves.

Some fans won a sweepstakes from Snickers for good seats.

Celebrities are here.

Booker T./Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

Booker has the terrified Sharmell start in a funny bit. Thankfully Booker does jump Boogeyman from behind and hammers away in the corner. A kick to the face gives Booker two as the red smoke is making the arena look horrible. The Bookend gets two but Booker misses the ax kick and gets forearmed down (they didn’t seem to be on the same page there). The worms come out and Boogeyman has a snack so Sharmell comes in with Boogeyman’s staff. That earns her a wormy kiss so Sharmell runs off screaming, leaving Boogeyman to chokebomb Booker for the pin at 3:56.

Rating: D-. What do you want me to say here? This was a bad comedy match and nothing more than a way to give the fans a breather after the crazy hardcore match. Booker was injured coming in, but if this is the best they can do, just scrap the match.  Boogeyman is the kind of character who is there for little more than goofiness and having him beat Booker is a step too far. Nothing to this one, save for ruining the mat.

Post match, more worms are consumed.

We recap Mickie James challenging Trish Stratus for the Women’s Title. James debuted and was completely obsessed with Stratus, even kissing her under the mistletoe at Christmas. Stratus said it was too much and asked for time apart, which made James even more nuts, to the point where she kicked Stratus in the head and asked if Stratus loved her now. Then she kidnapped Stratus’ boyfriend and laid Stratus out at the same time. This was a heck of a story as the women’s division was dying for some fresh blood and James was all that and more.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

James is challenging and Lawler thinks she’s nuts. JR: “You’d date her. But wait she might be too old for you. She’s in her early 20s.” Lawler: “Can she cook?” They waste no time in trading the forearms before Stratus Thesz presses her down and hammers away. The big chops in the corner have James down and Stratus drops her down into the splits. They head outside and the Chick Kick only hits the post to give James a needed opening.

The bad leg is wrapped around the post and James is rather pleased. A dropkick to the leg keeps Stratus down as the fans are behind James, which has commentary confused. The half crab stays on the leg but James pulls the hair, which is enough to make her break it up (you don’t see that one too often). Stratus slugs away (the fans don’t approve) and hits a spinebuster as JR tries to explain that Stratus hasn’t done anything to deserve the booing.

James gets a boot up in the corner but has to block the Stratusphere, allowing her to send Stratus crashing down. A half crab is countered into a small package to give Stratus two and a powerbomb out of the corner gets the same. The Matrish only kind of works due to the leg so Stratus loads up Stratusfaction, which is broken up with a hand between the legs (James licking her hand is edited out). James kicks her in the head (the botched Stratusfaction to Stratus is edited out as well) and wins the title at 8:49. JR: “The nutjob has won the title!”

Rating: B. The bad botch and probably going too far lick of the hand being cut out didn’t hurt things, as this was still miles ahead of just about anything you would see in the women’s division. It wasn’t so much that the match was great, but rather that it was a match that came with a story rather than just random title defenses. James was such a breath of fresh air for the division and it’s no surprise that she was a star for so long.

The McMahons are way too pleased with Vince McMahon’s arms. Vince laughs at the idea of Shawn Michaels telling him to pray, but says it’s time for their first family prayer. Vince makes it clear that he and God don’t like each other because Vince has defied every law God has ever had. He’s been successful anyway and brags about his physique (Stephanie gives him a look) before promising to send Michaels down to the fiery depths.

We recap Mark Henry vs. Undertaker. Henry cost Undertaker the World Title and injured him, meaning it’s time for revenge.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

It’s a casket match and Henry is Undertaker’s latest monster foe who isn’t afraid of the dark. Cole goes over the Undertaker’s Wrestlemania victims and it’s kind of amazing to think of how many more big names he would take out over the years. Henry jumps him at the end of the entrance (to be fair, Undertaker was taking his sweet time) but Undertaker gets a boot up in the corner.

Some running clotheslines don’t put Henry down but he drops Undertaker with a single shot. They go outside, where Undertaker sends him into the steps for a breather. Henry rams him in even harder though and they head back inside, where Old School is broken up. The casket is opened up but Undertaker isn’t about to go in (good advice). Back up and Undertaker kicks away at the arm, setting up Old School.

A Downward Spiral is blocked though and they fight down into the casket. Henry hammers him down but Undertaker grabs him by the throat to get up. Back in and the World’s Strongest Slam connects but the powers of I’m Facing The Undertaker stupidity take over, with Henry going up to hammer away. The Last Ride brings Henry back down and Undertaker throws him outside for the big dive. Back in and the Tombstone connects, which is enough to finish Henry off at 9:27.

Rating: C. It was an ok fight but Henry might as well have been dubbed “The Designated Victim” here as it never felt like Undertaker was in any danger. They had to do something with Undertaker but there was no drama here as Undertaker beating Henry was never in doubt. It’s not a terrible or even bad match, but this was definitely on the lower end of the Streak matches.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon. Late last year, McMahon decided it was all about him (for a change of pace) and fired a bunch of people. Then he brought up the Montreal Screwjob, which made Michaels tell McMahon to grow up already. Therefore, it was time to destroy Michaels for good, setting up a showdown.

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

No holds barred. Michaels starts fast and jumps McMahon on the floor. McMahon is sent over the announcers’ table and onto JR, allowing Michaels to choke away. Michaels busts a framed photo of McMahon’s Muscle & Fitness magazine cover over McMahon’s head (you knew that was coming) so here is the Spirit Squad (you knew they were coming) to jump Michaels for a breather.

The big beatdown is on but Michaels fights back with their megaphone to clear them out without much trouble. That’s enough of a distraction for McMahon to hit a clothesline though and we slow back down. McMahon hits some shoulders to the ribs in the corner, followed by some whips with a belt. Delusions of grandeur make McMahon try his own superkick, which is easily blocked. Now Michaels gets to whip away with the belt and drops the top rope elbow.

Sweet Chin Music is loaded up but here is Shane McMahon to hit Michaels with a kendo stick as this keeps going. The beating lets Vince take down his pants but Michaels fights back and shoves Shane’s face in, with Vince of course thinking it’s great. Shane is knocked to the floor and handcuffed to the ropes in a smart move. The key is thrown into the crowd and Michaels beats on Shane with the kendo stick.

Back in and Michaels caves Vince’s head in with a chair (there’s some blood) but Michaels won’t throw the superkick. Instead it’s time for a ladder, which bounces off of Vince’s head to draw even more blood. Michaels still won’t throw the superkick though as Vince collapses. Instead Michaels grabs a table and some trashcans. After putting the trashcan on Vince and Vince on the table, Michaels climbs the big ladder and drops a big elbow. Michaels picks him up, says watch this, and finally (and I do mean FINALLY) hits the superkick for the win at 18:24.

Rating: D+. This was WAY too long, with the match being pretty much over about halfway through the thing. So much of the match was spent with Vince mostly destroyed and Michaels just finding more weapons. They could have done this in far less time as it felt more like someone blowing off steam in a video game for most of the match.

Vince flips Michaels off because that is his nature.

We recap Kurt Angle defending the Smackdown World Title against Rey Mysterio and Randy Orton. Mysterio won the Royal Rumble in Eddie Guerrero’s memory, last eliminating Orton. That didn’t sit well with Orton, who talked Mysterio into putting up his title shot, only for Mysterio to lose. Mysterio was kept in the match anyway, as this is all about Eddie’s memory. Oh yeah and Angle is there too. That’s how third wheel he felt here, and there wasn’t much that could be done to change it as this is all about Eddie/Rey. This gets Shinedown’s I Dare You, which helps a lot.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending and Mysterio gets played to the ring live by POD. Orton decks Angle with the belt before the bell before dropkicking Mysterio out of the air for two. Back in and Angle snaps off the German suplexes on Orton before suplexing both of them at once (with Mysterio FLYING).

Orton is back up with his backbreaker to Angle, who shrugs it off and hits a belly to belly. A pop up super hurricanrana brings Orton down for two and Mysterio kicks Angle in the head for the same. Mysterio sends Angle into the ropes but the 619 is cut off. The ankle lock goes on but Orton cuts off the referee, who doesn’t see Mysterio tap. With that broken up, Angle snaps off more suplexes and ankle locks Orton for a change. This time Mysterio grabs the referee so Orton’s tap is missed too. Well they’re certainly making Angle look strong, which makes sense as he’s in Wrestling Machine mode here.

Back up and Mysterio is sent into the post but Orton grabs the RKO on Angle for a delayed two. Orton goes up and is promptly belly to belly superplexed right back down in one of Angle’s better signature spots. Mysterio can’t quite hit a 619 around the post but settles for a kick to the head (eh fair enough) for two on Angle. Orton drops Mysterio again but gets Angle Slammed for two. Mysterio counters the Angle Slam with an armdrag and hits the 619 to Orton. The West Coast Pop pins Orton to make Mysterio champion at 9:18.

Rating: B-. It was mostly action packed, but I could have gone with a good bit more time to pack that action into here. Mysterio winning the title was a feel good moment, despite not being the biggest surprise, as the fans would have lost if it Eddie didn’t get his big tribute. It’s a good match, but dang they felt rushed out there and that’s not good to see. And then Mysterio would go on to have an all time disaster of a title reign, mainly because he was put in there against giant who kept crushing him, because reasons.

Post match Chavo and Vickie Guerrero come out to celebrate with Mysterio in a nice moment.

We look at John Cena and HHH in the locker room for a long time. Cena looks at the title while HHH gets a massage. JR gives a rather detailed explanation about how Cena is a rebel and this is a traditionalist town so HHH will likely get cheered no matter what.

Candice Michelle vs. Torrie Wilson

Playboy Pillow Fight, which is an excuse for the two of them to be in limited clothing. There is a bed and a bunch of pillows with the Playboy logo everywhere because that’s the whole point. Wilson brings her dog (he’s wearing a top hat) and they starts the brawl as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled. A suplex drops Michelle and a backdrop puts her onto the bed.

The dog is brought in as they fight out to the floor, only to come back in so Michelle can lose her gown. Michelle kicks her away and does the Go Daddy dance before dropping a middle rope elbow onto Wilson (on the bed). With nothing else working, Michelle grabs a pair of scissors to cut off Wilson’s dress. An issue of Playboy is rubbed into Wilson’s face, which inspires her to grab a rollup for the pin at 3:55.

Rating: F. Yeah what else were you expecting? This was about the women being out there and showing off how they looked. It wasn’t good and it went FAR longer than it needed to, with the fans letting them know what they thought. I get the appeal, but I’m also rather glad that we’ve moved WAY beyond this kind of stuff.

We look at the Wrestlemania press conference, which is pretty much the hype video for Cena vs. HHH. Cena is the rebel champion and HHH is the old school guy who wants the title back. This is the big dream match for Raw but it only feels so important.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. HHH

HHH is challenging and does the Conan the Barbarian entrance, rising up from the stage on his throne with the ridiculously big sledgehammer. Cena’s entrance on the other hand features a newsreel about the Great Depression and a bunch of machine gun toting goons hanging on an old gangster car, one of whom is infamously better known as CM Punk. Cena has his own gun and gets to fire, which at least drowns out some of the rather loud booing.

We get going, with JR immediately explaining that Cena is going to be booed no matter what. HHH wins an early wrestle off and grabs a hammerlock before kicking Cena away. An early FU attempt (the fans are NOT happy) is broken up and HHH punches him in the face, earning a standing ovation. Cena is sent outside but comes back in to hammer away in the corner for his first real offense. Some whips into the corner set up the release fisherman’s suplex and Cena grabs the chinlock. They go to the floor, where Cena backdrops him onto the ramp for a loud crash.

Back up and HHH sends Cena into the steps to take right back over. Cena fights back but a facebuster and hard clothesline get some of the loudest reactions HHH has ever received. Some neckbreakers give HHH some twos and the chinlock goes on to keep Cena down. Cena eventually fights up and hits that hard clothesline that he uses when he needs a big spot. The clothesline comeback sets up a powerslam and Cena initiates the finishing sequence.

That’s countered into a spinebuster to give HHH two but the sleeper is quickly broken up. The STFU goes on but HHH dives over to the ropes for the break. The FU is broken up as well and HHH hits Cena, and the referee, low in the corner. HHH brings in the sledgehammer and knocks Cena lukewarm for a pretty delayed two (the fans are ticked off again). Cena backdrops out of the Pedigree and gets two off the FU, leaving Cena stunned. Cena’s high crossbody misses but he pulls HHH into the STFU for two arm drops. HHH hangs on….and then taps out completely clean to retain the title at 22:02.

Rating: B. It took some time to get going but what matters the most is that Cena got a clean win over the other big name in the middle of the ring in the main event of Wrestlemania. That’s what HHH needed to do here and Cena gets one of the biggest boosts of his career. It also happens to be a very rather good title match and pretty worthy of the main event of Wrestlemania.

The big highlight package wraps up the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Yeah it’s fine. That’s always been the reaction to this show and that’s still the case here. There are definitely good parts, with the main event, most of the Women’s Title match and Edge vs. Foley being worth a look, but the problem is, outside of Edge vs. Foley, nothing is really memorable. It came and went with very little changing, as even Mysterio winning the title felt rushed. The show is absolutely not bad, but it’s forgettable, and that’s not what Wrestlemania is supposed to be.

Ratings Comparison

Pre-Show Battle Royal
Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2020 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C-

Big Show/Kane vs. Carlito/Chris Masters

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: D+
2020 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: C

Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Ric Flair vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2020 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B-

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: D+
2020 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B-

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Original: A
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2020 Redo: A
2025 Redo: A

Boogeyman vs. Booker T/Sharmell

Original: F
2013 Redo: F
2015 Redo: F
2020 Redo: F
2025 Redo: D-

Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Original: B
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: B-
2020 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D-
2020 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: D
2020 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: D+

Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: C+
2020 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B-

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

Original: F
2013 Redo: F
2015 Redo: F
2020 Redo: D-
2025 Redo: F

HHH vs. John Cena

Original: A-
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: C
2020 Redo: A-
2025 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: C-
2020 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: B-

As usual, it’s the same issues, with so much of this show just being forgettable.

 

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: October 7, 2008
Location: Spokane Arena, Spokane, Washington
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We’re done with No Mercy and Matt Hardy is still the ECW Champion, having survived Mark Henry. The following night didn’t go so well for Hardy, who was pinned by Kane in a tag match on Raw. That could open up a few different options and we could be seeing more of Kane around here. Or it means nothing. Let’s get to it.

Here is No Mercy if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Finlay/Tommy Dreamer vs. Mike Knox/Jack Swagger

Hornswoggle is here too. Finlay and Knox start things off with Finlay going straight to the elbow to the head. The running seated senton allows the tag off to Dreamer and a bulldog drops Knox again. Swagger gets knocked to the floor for a clothesline from the apron but Knox is back up with a pump kick.

We take a break and come back with Knox’s suplex getting two on Dreamer and a cheap shot knocking Finlay off the apron. Swagger comes in and misses the Vader Bomb, meaning Dreamer can come in to clean house. Everything breaks down and it’s a Tadpole Splash into a shillelagh shot to give Finlay the pin on Knox.

Rating: C+. Totally standard tag match here and that’s a fine way to go. Well, as far as you could get with Knox involved. He’s just turned into such a nothing name around here but the show is in such a need for bodies that he has to stick around. Finlay is also fine for a midcard name and that’s all he needs to be, making him a fine example of how to use a veteran of his status.

It’s October so Tiffany is a devil and Teddy Long is a vampire (I think). Jamie Noble comes in and says he’s dressed as the greatest wrestler of all time. Tiffany: “You’re dressed as Shawn Michaels!” Anyway Tony Atlas and Mark Henry interrupt, with Noble making the mistake of standing up to Henry. A match is made.

The Boogeyman is coming back. Uh…good? I think? They need people, but I’m not sure how far he’ll get them.

Mark Henry vs. Jamie Noble

Henry runs him over to start and steps on his back for some loud screaming. Another knockdown has Noble in more trouble but he avoids a charge in the corner. The right hands in the corner look to set up a high crossbody, which is pulled into the World’s Strongest Slam to give Henry the pin.

Rating: C. Just a squash here as we establish that Henry is in fact still a monster. That was pretty much covered last night on Raw but they needed to do it here as well. Thankfully it didn’t last long, as there was no reason for it to go more than a few minutes. Henry knows how to smash through people and he did it well here.

Post match the beatdown stays on so Matt Hardy runs in with a Twist Of Fate. Unfortunately it’s to Tony Atlas, leaving Henry to wreck Hardy.

Raw Rebound.

CM Punk/Ricky Ortiz/Kofi Kingston/Evan Bourne vs. Miz/John Morrison/Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase Jr.

Manu is here with the villains. Rhodes and Bourne start things going as Striker actually explains the rules of an eight man tag. I…sure why not, as it’s not hurting anything. Bourne starts in on the arm and it’s quickly off to Punk to stay on said arm. Morrison comes in and gets taken into the corner, where Ortiz drops a leg. It’s back to Bourne for a running hurricanrana and the villains are cleared out as we take a break.

We come back with DiBiase chinlocking Bourne, apparently thanks to Manu interfering during the break (he has to do something). A big clothesline cuts off Bourne’s comeback and Morrison comes in for the armbar. Miz grabs a cravate and the rapid fire tags continue with Rhodes hammering away.

It’s already back to Miz for a front facelock, with Bourne reversing into a small package for two. Bourne is up without much trouble though and Punk comes back in to strike away. Everything breaks down (yep) and it’s time for the series of dives. Manu’s distraction saves Morrison from the GTS though and DiBiase knocks Punk into the Moonlight Drive to give Morrison the pin.

Rating: B-. The rapid fire tags helped a bit here as it let the people get in there rather than waiting around as much. At the same time, the less Ortiz does the better, as there is just nothing there. I know he has the big hair and the towel and all that, but that’s not enough to carry him. Hopefully WWE realizes that soon, as it’s getting harder to put up with him. Finally, my goodness Punk has fallen rather quickly after losing the World Title, which tends to be the case too often with MITB title winners.

Overall Rating: C+. ECW continues to exist, with the title feud kind of on hold this week and guest stars being there to fill in the gaps. As usual, I’m not sure how much this needs to be a regular hour long show, but WWE has done dumber things before. The main event was ok, though it’s not worth going out of your way to see. Just wait for Smackdown, as is often the case around here.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 6, 2008
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with No Mercy and the big story around here is that Chris Jericho defeated Shawn Michaels in an outstanding ladder match to retain the World Title. That should wrap up their feud for good as we move on to Cyber Sunday. Jericho is going to need a fresh challenger and as luck would have it, Batista became #1 contender last night. Let’s get to it.

Here is No Mercy if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Chris Jericho to get things going. Jericho talks about how Mike Adamle will not be here tonight due to a meeting with the McMahons, so Jericho is in charge tonight. He’s still sore from last night and has a banged up tooth, which he has to live with for the rest of his life. Every time he sees that, he will think of Shawn Michaels, which ironically will make him smile. Jericho knows Michaels is here tonight and wants revenge, so tonight Michaels can face Lance Cade, anything goes. Now you have to admit that he is the best in the world, but here is Batista to interrupt.

Batista tells him to pick the number of days until their title match. It could be seven days, fourteen days, or two-day. Jericho doesn’t back down because he knows he could beat Batista, who needs to get out of this ring right now. Batista laughs that off and plants him with a spinebuster. Simple and to the point here and it worked fine.

During the break, Jericho announced that Batista will have to beat JBL again tonight to remain #1 contender. As a bonus, Jericho himself will be guest referee.

Mickie James/Jamie Noble vs. Beth Phoenix/Santino Marella

William Regal and Layla are at ringside. Before the match, Marella says he is trying to become more American, so he has adopted a new NBA team: the Oklahoma City Thunder, which is the recently departed Seattle Super Sonics. Eh it’s one of those classic heel moves that always works.

James elbows Phoenix in the face to start and it’s off to the men, with Noble kicking away in the corner. Everything breaks down and James dropkicks Phoenix out to the floor, leaving Noble to grab a sunset flip for two. We settle back down and Phoenix grabs Noble from the apron, allowing Marella to roll him up for the fast win.

Post match Noble and Regal get in a fight, likely setting up another mixed tag.

Shawn Michaels is tired, sore and in pain and he knows Chris Jericho feels the same. Lance Cade is supposed to take Michaels out but tonight Michaels is going to show that he still has gas in the tank.

Kofi Kingston vs. Ted DiBiase Jr.

Cody Rhodes and Manu are here with DiBiase so here is CM Punk to even things up a bit. Kingston leapfrogs him a few times before hitting a jumping back elbow. DiBiase is right back with a knockdown of his own and we hit the quickly broken chinlock. Back up and Kingston strikes away, including the jumping dropkick. Manu’s distraction doesn’t work though as Kingston knocks him down and gives DiBiase the Russian legsweep. Punk goes after a distraction Rhodes but DiBiase grabs a Million Dollar Dream into a Russian legsweep of his own for the fast win.

Chris Jericho talks to Randy Orton and says tonight, he’s going to work.

Video on John Cena, who is working on getting better after neck surgery.

Kane, Mark Henry and Tony Atlas have no interest in meeting Dolph Ziggler.

Rey Mysterio/Kane vs. Matt Hardy/Rey Mysterio

Tony Atlas is here with the villains. Mysterio slugs away at Kane to start but can’t get very far. Instead he manages to get Kane into the corner so Hardy can help with the mon…well the taller monster, but Kane cuts that off rather quickly. Henry tries to come in but gets taken down by the leg, with Hardy and Mysterio hitting a double dropkick.

We take a break and come back with Hardy in trouble but he gets away for the tag to Mysterio. That means the pace can pick up, including a springboard legdrop to Henry. Kane gets in a cheap shot from the apron though and comes in to stomp away in the corner. Henry’s headbutt drops Mysterio again but Kane misses his top rope clothesline. Hardy comes back in as everything breaks down, with Mysterio hitting a 619 to Kane and Hardy going up top. Henry gets creative by throwing Mysterio at the ropes though, knocking Mysterio into the chokeslam to give Kane the pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty run of the mill power vs. speed match here and it worked about as well as usual. If nothing else, it was nice to see a pair of feuds tied together to give us something fresh. Henry is probably coming after Hardy one more time and it’s pretty clear Mysterio vs. Kane isn’t done so this was a nice use of time.

Shawn Michaels vs. Lance Cade

No DQ and Cade actually drops him with an early clothesline. They go outside with Cade hammering him down some more and loading up a table. Michaels gets put through it as this is quite the one sided beating thus far. Cade grabs a chair but Michaels takes him down and hammers away. A chair shot to the head drops Cade and Michaels just unloads on him with the chair for the pin.

Post match Michaels beats on Cade with the chair even more, much to the fans’ delight.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring and announces that the fans will get to face Santino Marella for the Intercontinental Title at Cyber Sunday. You can pick from Roddy Piper, Goldust or the Honky Tonk Man. Throwing Piper in there does offer a bit of a mystery winner, as otherwise this should be Honky Tonk Man in a walk.

Here is the Great Khali to interrupt Lilian Garcia. Runjin Singh says Khali is not happy with Jackass’ Johnny Knoxville (this isn’t where I saw this going). We see a clip from an interview between Knoxville and Khali, with Knoxville asking about the proportions of a certain part of Khali’s anatomy. This results in Khali storming off and then inviting Knoxville to Raw next week. To show that he’s a fun loving guy, we get the Khali Kiss Cam, with Khali kissing Garcia, who isn’t sure what to think.

Here is Jillian Hall to sing some Nirvana, which doesn’t go well.

Jillian Hall vs. Kelly Kelly

Miz and John Morrison and Cryme Tyme are on commentary for a lot of bickering. Kelly gets sent to the apron to start and is knocked outside just as fast. Hall rams her into the apron as Cole cannot get a word in as the other four have not stopped arguing. Back in and Hall throws her down by the hair as commentary is throwing out Chris Jericho related insults. Miz says something about a bowl of chili as Hall works on a backbreaker. Lawler FINALLY gets in a word and talks about Hall beating on Kelly but the argument is right back on. Kelly gets a victory roll for the pin.

Rating: C. Ok, so the match was absolutely nothing, but the commentary was a blast, as it was basically “how long can you guys argue without taking a breath?”. It almost turned into a game as they just kept going and it wound up being really funny. This was totally different than what you usually get around here and it was really fun as a result.

Video on John Cena’s recovery from surgery. The doctor was astounded at how he recovered, including going to the arena the day of the operation. Yeah Cena is not normal.

Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

For the #1 contendership and Chris Jericho is guest referee. Actually hold on as we also have William Regal as guest timekeeper and Randy Orton is guest commentator. Batista powers JBL into the corner to start and runs him over with a shoulder for a rather delayed one. A shinbreaker of all things sets up the Figure Four and JBL reaches for the rope…with a brief touch counting as a break.

JBL is back up to hammer away in the corner and a big clothesline gets (a somewhat slow) two. Batista is back up with a suplex but this time Jericho won’t even count. That earns Jericho a run to the floor, allowing Regal to jump Batista from behind. Back in and JBL grabs a full nelson and then a sleeper, with Batista jawbreaking his way to freedom. The running shoulder in the corner is tripped down by Jericho so Batista hits a spinebuster on JBL. Regal and Orton try to come in and it’s a triple spear to take the villains down. Cue Mike Adamle to send another referee down so the Batista Bomb can give Batista the pin.

Rating: C. I mean, it was better when Vince Russo turned it into a thing, but JBL isn’t quite Mick Foley and while Batista is a big star, he isn’t Austin. At the same time, it didn’t help that they were rushing through things and the villains only interfered so much. It’s a good idea, but they did the Cliff Notes version here and that didn’t quite work.

Post match Adamle says Batista gets his title shot at Cyber Sunday, with the fans getting to pick the guest referee. The choices are Randy Orton, Shawn Michaels or Steve Austin, meaning Jericho knows he’s in trouble to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They set up the big title match at Cyber Sunday and that worked well, though there was only so much to be gained with the stuff they got ready. Jericho vs. Batista is a fresh match, but it’s a pretty big step down from the awesome Jericho vs. Michaels feud. The rest of the show was pretty much the run of the mill stuff Raw has been doing recently, meaning this show was about as mediocre as it gets.

 

 

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Royal Rumble 2012
Date: January 29, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 18,121
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

This is a show that I remember liking at the time but aside from the ending to the Rumble itself, almost nothing springs to mind about the show. I’m curious to see what that means as this was kind of a weaker time for the company. Hopefully they can make this work, as the Rumble can be all over the place. Let’s get to it.

The opening video features a bunch of people saying they want to win the Royal Rumble and a voiceover asking who is going to Wrestlemania.

Smackdown World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Bryan is defending in a cage and Cole cannot stand him. Also Bryan is mad at Show for running over his girlfriend AJ Lee, though it isn’t clear if it was a setup. Bryan gets sent into the corner to start, leaving Show to splash Henry against the cage. For some reason Bryan tries to kick at Show, who throws him against the cage for his efforts. The WMD hits cage, with Bryan dropkicking the leg out to take over.

Bryan kicks away at Henry as well but it’s way too early to escape the cage. Henry: “CLOSE THAT DOOR!” Bryan gets slingshotted into the cage but Show is back up with a superkick. That leaves Show to go after Bryan, with the big slow shots in the corner keeping Bryan down. Henry is back up to go after both of them as commentary discusses Bryan and AJ’s relationship.

Henry misses a charge into the cage and gets speared by Show to give Bryan two. Bryan’s tornado DDT plants Show (which has Lawler far too impressed) and the LeBell Lock goes on. Henry breaks that up but gets caught with the WMD. Bryan tries to escape and gets over, but Show grabs his hand. Show basically does some curls with Bryan, who eventually falls down to retain the title at 9:08.

Rating: C+. This was a nice story with Bryan having to escape from the two monsters who were basically playing with him. Bryan was still trying to get everything together at this point, as he certainly had the skill but he was making his transition into being a main event star. That took some time, mainly due to winning the title via the Money In The Bank briefcase, but that has been an issue with the concept for a long time. The match was entertaining though, even with Bryan almost retaining by accident.

Video on John Cena, who won’t change who he is, even as we hear from some fans who are on either side. We also see a bunch of his promotional work for WWE and my goodness the build to his match vs. Rock was outstanding. It makes me want to watch it again, so they’re doing something right.

Beth Phoenix/Bella Twins/Natalya vs. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Alicia Fox/Tamina

Natalya headlocks Tamina down to start but it’s off to Eve for a dancing moonsault. Phoenix comes in and gets clotheslined down so Brie can come in for a chinlock. This lets commentary compare Twitter followers until Eve gets up for the tag off to Fox. The chinlock goes on again but Eve fights out and hands it off to Kelly. The screaming headscissors ensues and everything breaks down. Kelly gets beaten down on the floor and everyone joins in, allowing Kelly to get up top for a big dive onto the pile. Back in and Brie kicks Kelly in the face, allowing the Glam Slam to finish Kelly at 5:28.

Rating: D+. It’s a bad sign that the best thing you can say about a match is “at least it was short” but that’s about all this one had. The women’s division was not in a good place at this point, with Phoenix being one of the few bright spot. There were talented people in this match, but it doesn’t matter if they don’t get to do anything.

We recap Kane vs. John Cena, which has seen Kane being the unstoppable monster and wrecking Zack Ryder, who has come off like a total loser in the whole thing. Kane has left him in a wheelchair as well as the US Title, likely because Ryder got over on his own.

Ryder, in a wheelchair and a neck brace, arrives with girlfriend Eve Torres joining him. Johnny Ace is here too and mocks both of them a bit, with neither being impressed.

Kane vs. John Cena

Kane fires off the uppercuts to start but Cena is back up with a running clothesline. That’s enough to send them outside, with Cena whipping him knees first into the steps. Kane slugs him right back down inside and sends him into the corner, setting up a chinlock. The comeback is cut off with another uppercut and a bulldog attempt is casually shoved away.

A neck snap across the top rope doesn’t get Cena very far either, as Kane drops him again. The smother hold is countered into an STF, which is countered into a side slam to drop Cena again. The top rope clothesline connects and a big boot gives Kane two, meaning it’s frustration time. Kane’s superplex is broken up and it’s a super Five Knuckle Shuffle but the AA is broken up as well. They fight outside and that’s enough for a rather lame double countout at 10:57.

Rating: C-. This was a bad time for Cena, as he had the biggest match of his career coming up in a few months, but that didn’t leave him with much to do on the way there. That was on full display here, as this feud with Kane went on for a long time and never felt important in any way. Throw in the ending being about setting up a rematch and it was even worse.

Post match they brawl into the back with Kane being sent into various things. Kane comes back with a chair and breaks into Zack Ryder’s private room, knocks Ryder out, and kidnaps him. They go into the arena, where Kane Tombstones him, even with Eve Torres watching. Cue Cena for the save but Kane gives him a chokeslam and leaves everyone laying.

Video on The Rock, who is one of the world’s biggest movie stars. And he’s handsome. And charismatic. And did I mention a star?

Brodus Clay vs. Drew McIntyre

Clay dances to start, gets clotheslined in the corner, suplexes McIntyre and What The Funk finishes at 1:04. Sweet goodness him getting away from WWE was the absolute best thing he could have gone.

We recap CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler for the former’s Raw World Title. This is more about Punk vs. Johnny Ace, who Punk can’t stand for being such a miserable failure at everything. Ace caused Ziggler to pin Punk to earn the title shot and made himself guest referee. He’s guaranteed that he’s going to screw Punk over, which has officially put him UNDER REVIEW, which has him backpedaling. Oh and Ziggler is here too. The last part of the video features Ziggler saying not to forget him. It’s not a great look but here we are.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler, with Vickie Guerrero, is challenging and Johnny Ace is guest referee. Hold on though as Ace says he’ll be the outside referee with a regular referee in the ring. Actually hold on again as Ace tosses Vickie, which follows a previously established stipulation. The threat of a GTS has Ziggler worried to start so Punk knocks him into the corner. Punk grabs an abdominal stretch and hammers on the ribs before sending him outside.

The dive misses though and Ziggler takes over back inside, including the jumping elbows. The sleeper goes on for a bit before the running Fameasser is countered into a sitout powerbomb. Punk hits a running neckbreaker but Ziggler reverses a high crossbody into a rollup for two. The top rope elbow gets two more but the referee gets bumped, which you knew was coming.

Punk grabs the Anaconda Vice for the tap, though Ace is checking on the referee. A rollup gets the same treatment so Punk goes after Ace, only for Ziggler to knock Punk into Ace. The GTS connects but Ace still won’t count, saying Punk jumped him on purpose. Another GTS is countered into a Fameasser (that was great) for two and they’re both down. Back up and Punk hits a second GTS for the pin, with both referees counting the three at 14:32.

Rating: B-. These two worked well together, though Ace being boring and unfair was quite the negative. The whole feud was built around the idea that Ace wasn’t interesting and they made that quite clear here. It was a good match, which shouldn’t be a surprise, but just drop the Ace stuff already.

Rumble by the Numbers:

30 Superstars
1 winner
31 Hall of Famers in the Rumble
21 main events those Hall of Famers have been in at Wrestlemania
695 entrants who have been eliminated
39 entrants eliminated by Michaels, a record (Kane is second at 35)
13 consecutive Rumbles for Kane
11 eliminations for Kane in 2001
194,107lbs that have been in the Rumble, or over 97 tons, or 430 Big Show
421,883 people who have attended the Rumble
62:12 Rey Mysterio spent in the Rumble in 2006, a record
3 wins for Austin
1 second that Santino lasted in 2009
2 women who have competed in the Rumble
1, the entrant that has produced the same amount of winners as #30 at two each
27, the entrant with more winners than any other at four
55 percent of winners that have won the title at Wrestlemania

Royal Rumble

Two minute intervals. Miz is in at #1 and Alex Riley (Miz’s former goon) is in at #2. They stare at each other to start and Riley goes after him but misses a charge. Miz stomps him down to start and gets the pretty easy elimination. R-Truth is in at #3 and hammers away, including a kind of powerslam. That’s enough to throw Miz to the apron but not out as Cody Rhodes is in at #4.

A Beautiful Disaster hits R-Truth and the double teaming is on, with R-Truth getting knocked down into the corner. Justin Gabriel is in at #5 and goes after Rhodes as the four of them pair off. We get a pair of brawls in the corner until Primo is in at #6 to continue a not so star studded start. R-Truth hits the running forearm on Rhodes but gets tossed by Miz, who goes to the floor (under the bottom rope) to go after him. That means a Little Jimmy to drop Miz on the floor while the other three are still inside. Mick Foley is in at #7 and tosses Primo before continuing the brawling.

Ricardo Rodriguez is in at #8, complete with Alberto Del Rio’s music, gear, and…that’s about it, as he drives out in a banged up car (bad paint, ugly seat covers, trash bag for a window) and isn’t in the best condition. Naturally the fans love him, even as Foley drops him with a right hand. Foley and Rodriguez actually get together to eliminate Gabriel and it’s Santino Marella in #9. Marella starts in with his usual and gets rid of Rodriguez. That leaves Marella vs. Foley so yes we do indeed get the Cobra vs. Mr. Socko showdown, with the expected reaction of the crowd going bananas.

Epico is in at #10 and is quickly tossed, leaving us with Miz, Rhodes, Foley and Marella. Rhodes gets up to toss Marella so it’s Socko to Miz, only for Rhodes to toss Foley as well. Kofi Kingston is in at #11, giving us quite the talented three way. Kingston takes over and hits a double Boom Drop but the numbers catch up with him in a hurry. Jerry Lawler is in at #12 (Booker is shocked and Cole is stunned) and ducks Miz’s left hand, which hits Rhodes by mistake. Lawler gets in his usual offense and goes up, only for Rhodes to knock him out.

Ezekiel Jackson is in at #13 as Booker praises Lawler, who has returned to commentary. Jackson gets to clean house and it’s Jinder Mahal in at #14. The entrance takes forever as Mahal has to get out of his gear before going after Jackson. Great Khali is in at #15 and gets rid of Jackson and Mahal without much trouble. Hunico (with Camacho and the gold bicycle) is in at #16 and does about as much as you would expect.

Booker T. is in at #17 and Cole absolutely loses it (You know where this is going, though neither Cole nor Lawler noticed that Booker wasn’t wearing pants?) as the fans go nuts. Miz throws Kingston over the top but Kingston skins the cat to stay alive. Kingston gets shoved out anyway….but LANDS ON HIS HANDS AND WALKS BACKWARDS TO THE STEPS in one of the most ridiculously awesome saved you’ll ever see. Dolph Ziggler (with Vickie Guerrero) is in at #18 as things start to slow down a bit.

Jim Duggan is in at #19 and the fans are rather happy to see him. As you might expect, Duggan certainly brings the energy as he throws those big right hands, only to get knocked out by Rhodes. Ziggler and Rhodes get rid of Booker and Khali at the same time and it’s Michael Cole in at #20 (you knew it was coming and the fan behind him freaking out makes it even better). His entrance takes forever and it’s the returning Kharma (Awesome Kong) in at #21 to immediately drop Cole (Booker and Lawler love it).

That’s enough to send Cole out to the apron, where Booker and Lawler pull him out for good. Kharma goes after Ziggler with a lifting Pedigree but has to stop for some yelling at Vickie. Hunico goes after Kharma but gets tossed, only for Ziggler to dump Kharma out. Sheamus is in at #22 as we have Sheamus, Miz, Rhodes, Kingston and Ziggler. Sheamus dumps Kingston and fires off the forearms to Miz and Rhodes.

Road Dogg is in at #23 and the fans go nuts all over again (even Cole is happy). Dogg gets in his usual dancing punches until things slow down and it’s Jey Uso in at #24. That means some dancing punches of his own until US Champion Jack Swagger is in at #25. The brawling continues on the ropes and it’s Wade Barrett in at #26. Barrett dumps Dogg to clear the ring a bit and it’s David Otunga in at #27 to clutter it right back up.

Randy Orton (hometown star) is in at #28 and goes right after Barrett, who put him on the shelf for a month. Uso is out and Rhodes and Ziggler get taken down with a double hanging DDT, followed by an RKO to Barrett for the elimination. Chris Jericho is in at #29 and tosses Otunga before things slow down a bit. Big Show is in at #30, giving us a final group of Miz, Rhodes, Ziggler, Sheamus, Swagger, Orton, Jericho and Show (not too shabby). Swagger is out before Show even gets in and gets WMD’d to make it even worse.

Show gets inside and tosses Miz, Rhodes and Ziggler in short order to get us down to four in a hurry. Jericho gets knocked down and it’s an RKO to Show, which doesn’t seem overly bright. Show gets up and Orton tosses him on his own, only to get dumped by Jericho to leave us with Jericho vs. Sheamus (quite the odd pairing). Jericho’s bulldog is countered but he’s right back with a dropkick.

Sheamus is sent out to the apron but hooks his leg around the ropes to survive. He’s able to get back inside, where Jericho catches him in a quick Walls. That’s broken up as well and Jericho gets sent to the apron, where he manages to get back inside as well. They both almost wind up crashing to the floor before getting inside just in time. A Codebreaker drops Sheamus, who is right back with a missed Brogue Kick. Jericho can’t hit the Codebreaker though and gets sent to the apron, where a Brogue Kick gives Sheamus the win at 55:25.

Rating: B. The ending alone here was rather good, with the drama of Jericho and Sheamus being worth a look. At the same time, this Rumble was heavy on the comedy, with the commentary entrances, plus Socko vs. the Cobra. It did have some good moments in between though and I had a good time watching this one back. I remembered liking it well enough back in the day and it was nice to see it live up to the hype.

Pyro and sign pointing take us out.

Overall Rating: B-. The Raw World Title and Rumble are the only things worth seeing here, unless you want to see Bryan in way over his head against some monsters. The problem here is the same as it always was around this time: with John Cena vs. the Rock looming at Wrestlemania, nothing else felt important. They do get some credit for trying something new with Sheamus though, as even though he was a former World Champion, winning the Rumble was a different level. Good enough show, but the Rumble carried the thing.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 11, 2010
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

The previous week’s show is the famous one with the return of Bret Hart but someone wanted to see how the follow up went. That’s a rather interesting way to go and I’m curious to look back at what happened. In this case we have the build to the Royal Rumble, with only a few weeks left before the show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence. Let’s burn it to the ground.

Here is guest host (oh yeah that’s a thing) Mike Tyson to get things going. Tyson is glad to be back and of course we flash back to the legendary moment with Steve Austin in 1998. Back in the arena, here is World Champion Sheamus to interrupt. Sheamus doesn’t like all the praise that Tyson is getting and calls him a washed up former champion. Tyson teases getting physical and Sheamus backs up.

Cue Randy Orton to interrupt, saying he isn’t interested in making a SportsCenter moment, but he does want the WWE Championship. He wants to face Sheamus at the Royal Rumble, but here is John Cena to interrupt. Sheamus asks why Cena is here and it’s…well he wants to meet Mike Tyson! Cena talks about having beaten everyone here, including Tyson…..in Punch Out! And yes we get a King Hippo reference.

Cena wants a title shot but here is Kofi Kingston to interrupt. Orton isn’t sure why he’s here, as he beat Kingston last week. Kingston points out that he has never gotten a title shot (somehow true) and he won’t take no for an answer. Sheamus says Tyson got long stretches between his title defenses so he wants the Royal Rumble off.

Tyson says unlike Sheamus, he never ducked a fight in his life. Instead Tyson makes a triple threat for the title shot later tonight, with Cena saying it’s him against Bald Bull and Von Kaiser for a shot at Soda Popinski. The fact that he didn’t refer to Orton, who is BALD, as Bald Bull, takes some points away but the Punch Out references were funny.

Divas Title Tournament First Round: Alicia Fox vs. Kelly Kelly

Melina is injured so the title is vacant. Fox knees her in the chest to start and we’re already in the chinlock. Kelly gets up and knocks her out to the floor for a clothesline from the apron. The rather screamy headscissors drops Fox but she counters the hurricanrana into a powerbomb (nasty one too) for the pin to advance. This was a good example of women not getting the chance to do anything other than a few quick moves.

John Cena was the Grand Marshall of the Fiesta Bowl.  Apparently he’s a great guy.

Here is Legacy for a chat before their match. Last year they were in the final four of the Royal Rumble and Cody Rhodes thinks it’s his turn to win the Royal Rumble. DiBiase talks about being a movie star with the Marine 2 being better than the original in every way. Rhodes says a video of him in fifth grade is better than the Marine so it doesn’t prove much. They both think they’re going to win the Royal Rumble. The fact that Rhodes would is kind of astounding.

Legacy vs. Mark Henry/Evan Bourne

Bourne hurricanranas DiBiase to start fast but gets sent crashing out to the floor. Rhodes gets in a cheap shot by sending him into the barricade and the chinlock goes on back inside. It’s off to Rhodes for a knee drop as commentary ignores the boring match to talk about the Rumble, with Lawler actually giving some straight insight for a change. Bourne fights up and brings in Henry (who is huge here, even by his standards). DiBiase breaks up Air Bourne and Henry gets low bridged to the floor, meaning it’s Cross Rhodes to finish Bourne.

Rating: C. This was a bad time for Henry’s career as he was just doing nothing for such a long stretch. He was given random partners like Bourne and it was clear that there was no long term plan for him. It didn’t help that he was so big, but once he slimmed down a bit and started being a monster (which took some time), it was a lot better. As for the match, it was little more than a squash, with Bourne not being able to do much against the rapidly improving Legacy.

D-Generation X is in the back, with Shawn Michaels saying he’s ok with making peace with Bret Hart last week, but Mike Tyson is a different story. That being said, he’s seen Tyson’s documentary and he thinks Tyson is a changed man. Now he’s going to prove it.

Post break, Michaels goes to see Tyson and forgives him for the WrestleMania XIV knockout. Tyson doesn’t need his forgiveness and is willing to do it again. Chris Jericho comes in and apparently he and Tyson are friends so tonight it’s Jericho/Tyson vs. DX and if Jericho wins, he can stay on Raw (or anywhere he likes). Michaels is ready for revenge. Right.

We look back at Bret Hart’s return to Raw last week, with Hart’s “Well, I guess h*** froze over” summing it up perfectly. He and Vince McMahon are still having issues though, including McMahon kicking him low.

Here is Jack Swagger, who says he’s going to win the Royal Rumble. Tonight, he wants an Over The Top match and it’s open challenge time.

Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella

You throw your opponent over the top to win and Marella is ready to drop Swagger like a bicycle with no kickstand. Marella strikes away and gets driven into the corner, followed by a takedown. Swagger goes to toss him but of course gets eliminated in less than a minute.

Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston vs. John Cena

For the Royal Rumble title shot against Sheamus. Cena and Kingston form a slightly awkward alliance to start, with a double suplex dropping Orton. A release fisherman’s suplex does it again and a double back elbow drops Orton as well. That leaves us with Cena vs. Kingston (who somehow never had a singles match) as Sheamus comes out to watch. Orton sneaks back in to break that up and we take a break.

We come back with Orton chinlocking Kingston (shocking I know) before switching over to Cena for the hanging DDT. Orton gives Kingston the backbreaker but gets bulldogged by Cena, which Cole says is him “rolling”. The STF has Kingston in trouble until Orton makes a quick save. Trouble In Paradise sends Cena outside, where Cody Rhodes runs out to send him into the steps. The distraction lets Ted DiBiase deck Kingston and the RKO sends Orton to the Rumble.

Rating: B-. Pretty standard match here and that’s a perfectly fine way to go. If nothing else, it was interesting to see Cena vs. Kingston, though Orton winning makes the most sense. Sheamus needs some wins to establish himself as champion and beating Orton is almost a merit badge. You certainly don’t want to do the Edge thing from 2006 again so this makes sense.

Mike Tyson is asked about his match against DX, when DX member Hornswoggle interrupts. Tyson threatens to do various violent things to Hornswoggle, including reaching into his head, pulling out his brain, putting it into a newspaper and smashing it like Silly Putty. Well that sounds uncalled for.

We look back at MVP wanting the Miz’s US Title.

Miz is standing outside of the locker room and talks about being thrown out when he ate some chicken over a wrestler’s bag. For six months he had to change and shower elsewhere while people like JBL made fun of him. Now he has his own locker room, while people like MVP have to dress with everyone else. He heads into the arena and says MVP doesn’t deserve to be in this ring, because MVP should be in jail.

Miz would rather the fans boo him for being something he is than cheer him for something he isn’t. MVP comes out here with his diamonds but even if you put diamonds on a dog, it’s still a mutt. Or it’s Diamond Dog from Con Air. Miz hits the catchphrase but here is MVP to say he has never hidden from his past, but rather he embraces it. Yes he is proud of his ability to earn the finer things in life, just like he is proud to win the respect of these fans. He is no mutt but asks Miz to stand there for a moment and suck.

The jacket comes off and MVP talks about his time in a Florida prison. Their real worlds are worlds apart so open up his cage and see how tame this tiger really is. Miz teases swinging and gets beaten down in a hurry. Pretty awesome stuff here, with Miz’s promo being great but MVP brought the fire when he got his chance.

We look at last year’s Hall Of Fame induction ceremony, headlined by Steve Austin.

We look back at Mike Tyson knocking out Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania XIV.

Divas Title Tournament First Round: Eve Torres vs. Katie Lea Burchill

Maryse (facing the winner in the second round) is on commentary and thinks Miz is in love with her (she’s smart). Burchill grabs an early chinlock and a backbreaker but Lawler would rather talk about how nice Maryse smells. Another backbreaker gets two on Torres…and she rolls Burchill up for the pin. This was nothing.

Carlito hits on Gail Kim but they’re shut down by a ticked off Vince McMahon.

Royal Rumble rundown. All one match.

Here is Vince McMahon for a chat. Apparently Bret Hart isn’t here due to fear, because McMahon never gives up. Hart is never going to be seen here again because he isn’t getting closure. The end. Lawler: “Is that it?”

D-Generation X vs. Mike Tyson/Chris Jericho

DX’s Tag Team Titles aren’t on the line. Before the match, Michaels says he wants an answer from Undertaker about the Wrestlemania rematch. Tyson and Michaels start things off with Tyson hitting a shoulder, meaning it’s off to HHH. They trade some shoves, with Tyson sending him into the corner and it’s off to Jericho to stomp away.

The jumping knee gets HHH out of trouble and it’s back to Michaels for two off a sunset flip. Jericho is back with the jumping enziguri and Tyson comes back in…as we have Hornswoggle in boxing gear. That brings Jericho back in…and Tyson reveals the DX shirt that you knew was coming. Tyson knocks Jericho out and Michaels gets the pin.

Rating: C. This was harmless fun and that’s not a bad thing. Jericho getting caught when he thought he was all brilliant and ahead of DX was a great moment and it all worked well. I had fun with this one and the whole thing wound up being rather entertaining. It was barely a match, but it wasn’t supposed to be anything else.

A lot of posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The promos carried this show as there certainly wasn’t much in the way of wrestling. Honestly there wasn’t much in the way of anything and that made for a pretty mediocre show. I liked the Tyson “swerve” at the end and the Miz/MVP promo was good, but there’s a reason this isn’t the most fondly remembered time in company history. The show was ok, but that’s about it.

 

 

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