Survivor Series 1998
Date: November 15, 1998
Location: Kiel Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 21,779
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Now this is a time when a year can completely change things around. Shawn and Bret are gone due to Montreal and injuries. Austin is the undisputed king of professional wrestling, and the WWF is back on top in the ratings war. The Attitude Era is in full swing as we have no world champion. With Vince hating Austin completely, he booked Austin in a triple threat for the belt at a PPV.

They double pinned Austin, leading to a one on one match at the previous PPV with Austin as the referee. Austin declared himself as the winner, leading to tonight’s 14 man tournament for the belt. It’s the first Survivor Series match to not have any traditional Survivor Series matches, but the tournament can be viewed as surviving so that’s fine and good. Other than the tournament, there’s a tag title match and a women’s title match. It’s a 14 match card, so let’s get to it.

We get a montage of people talking about how they’ll do whatever it takes to get the title. Remember that for later. The tagline for this show was Deadly Game, which came complete with a catchy song for it. Youtube it as it’s not bad at all. I remember watching this show with a buddy of mine and we were freaking about who could win this.

We were both complete marks at the time, but about a year or two later he would discover a place called Wrestlezone and mention it to me. My life changed forever. Ok so it took 6 years for me to click on the forums part and THEN it changed but you get the idea.

Apparently Vince did the brackets for the tournament. The first round matches are maximum ten minutes, so that’s a plus. Here are your brackets.

Undertaker
BYE

Kane
BYE

Rock
HHH

Goldust
Shamrock

Mankind
???

Jeff Jarrett
Al Snow

X-Pac
Regal

Austin
Boss Man

Kane and Taker were technically both champion before, hence the byes. Rock and HHH in the first round? That’s a heck of an opening match.

We open with…Vince. Yep, the first thing we hear is Vince has something to say. He has a broken ankle at the time thanks to Kane and Taker so he’s got a ton of help. This was actually a big show because for once we’re guaranteed a new world champion. That’s a rare thing. Oh he’s doing the announcing tonight.

First Round: Mankind vs. ???

Mankind was just flat out awesome at this point, as he often was. He was being completely suckered in by Vince to do his bidding because he was dumb enough to believe and trust Vince. Naturally, Vince used him to do his dirty work. As a reward, he gave him a joke: the Hardcore title, which became the hottest thing in the world for all of a week. Also, when Vince was in the hospital, Mankind visited him and debuted Mr. Socko.

He comes out in a tux with the mask, the belt and the sock on. That’s just priceless. He still has that classical music theme as well which is just humorous. There was a HUGE rumor going on at this time that the mystery wrestler would be Shawn Michaels, with even the fans chanting HBK. Josh, the guy I was watching the show with, looked at each other and said no way. He was just too hurt from Mania.

Vince puts on his glasses to read a statement about the opponent. He debuted in 1990, he had a win/loss record that couldn’t be compared to anyone else’s. He jumped ship to WCW but a shoulder injury had kept him out for two years. You can tell the audience is really puzzled over who this is going to be. It’s Duane Gill. No one, and I mean NO ONE got this. Gill was a jobber that never won a match on WWF TV.

This would be like bringing Reno Riggins in for a match. The fans are PISSED. His video is him taking a bunch of people’s finishing moves. He pulls an Eric Young and is scared of his pyro. Apparently he coaches an elementary school football team. I wish my elementary school had a football team. Anyway, the match lasts about 30 seconds. Mankind hits a double arm DDT and uses a rolling ¾ nelson, and I’m not making that up, to get the pin.

This was actually significant, in that it seemed as if Vince was hand picking Mankind to win the tournament. Also, JR mentions Mr. and Mrs. Foley’s baby boy, which is kind of sad as Foley’s father passed away yesterday. From what I read in Have a Nice Day, he was a good man. That’s sad.

Rating: N/A. This will be likely for a lot of matches tonight. How can I rate a thirty seconds match? Eight days later, Gill would win the Light Heavyweight Title (beating Christian of all people) and become Gillberg. I’m sure you’re familiar with that.

We see a clip of Sable getting beaten up by Jackie on Heat and then Cole is in her locker room. Sable as always is a whiny witch that can’t act or fight. She really annoys me most of the time.

First Round: Jeff Jarrett vs. Al Snow

The winner here gets Mankind. Jarrett has Debra McMichael with him now. I know you know who that is but that’s what they call her here. There’s a guy with a sign that says Jarrett is the guy you hate to hate. Does that mean he likes Jarrett? Also there’s a sign that says I need Head. When I saw that I forgot about Snow, so I was surprised. For once, Debra actually looks hot. Snow’s pop is MASSIVE.

He really could have been a solid midcard guy. He certainly had the crowd support. Apparently Snow has stolen Socko, so Foley’s was a forgery. Snow is just freaking creepy on a lot of levels. He lands a sweet cartwheel over the top rope to counter an Irish whip. That was awesome. This is actually a pretty good little fast paced match. Obviously they’re not going to get enough time to blow anyone away, but I like what I’m seeing so far.

These are two guys that can go in the ring and if they were given enough time, this would have been a very good match I think. Both guys get the others’ weapons but Snow gets hit with Head in the back which doesn’t even knock him down. He gets Head from Jarrett and gives Head to Jarrett’s head to end this. I wanted to see more of the match and less Head. Ross points out that the next WWF Champion could be holding a severed head wearing a tube sock. That sums up the Attitude Era.

Rating: B+. This is hard to grade, but I really liked the little bit that I got to see. Both guys were crisp in the time that they had and it’s a match that you don’t get to see that often. I like Snow’s in ring work more than Jarrett’s so I’m happy here.

First Round: Big Boss Man vs. Steve Austin

There’s no transition here at all as we just go from match to match. I’m not a fan of that style. The pop for Austin is just ridiculous. He had been fired by Vince but Shane hired him back for 5 years. Amazingly, he wouldn’t last in the company that long. They brawl in the aisle to start as this is Vince vs. Austin in essence. Oh there’s the bell so that was pre match stuff. This is really just a fast forwarded match.

It’s a brawl as you would expect, but it’s just not that entertaining because they have less than four minutes to do anything. We see a split screen of Vince, Slaughter and Patterson watching this. There’s no Brisco so I’m assuming he and Patterson broke up for awhile. The announcers point out that Bossman might just be here to beat up Austin instead of advancing, so Boss Man is your Andre the Giant and Vince is your Ted DiBiase in this tournament with Austin as Hogan.

At least they waited ten years to recycle the tournament PPV formula. They go to the floor and Boss Man drills him with the night stick in front of the referee to end it while advancing Austin. Wouldn’t it have been smarter to try to beat him now? If nothing else you can beat on him and then also possibly take him out.

The result is the same but it takes more out of Austin and it could potentially eliminate him period. I’m no evil genius though. Austin gets a pop for winning despite having his face beaten in at the moment. The beating goes on way too long as shockingly they’re short on time I guess.

Rating: D. Again, it’s not even four minutes and 40 seconds of it is a rest hold. What do you want me to say here? It was bad for the most part, but it was all storyline here anyway so that’s fine I suppose. You have to love the Russo style here of flash with limited actual wrestling involved. That’s always a good thing to have.

Cole is with Vince and asks him if he’s worried that Austin has advanced. Vince of course isn’t.

First Round: X-Pac vs. Steven Regal

Winner gets Austin and X-Pac is European Champion here. This match is completely made of win because of one reason: we get to hear Regal’s MAN’S MAN SONG!!! Oh I’m all giddy.

Regal was fired for working VERY stiff against Goldberg and making him look awful in the ring so he came to Vince and this is what he got for his trouble. It’s since become one of the most popular gimmicks ever, based on how absolutely freaking SWEET the song is. Apparently mixing concrete makes you a man. My grandmother is a REAL MAN’S MAN. Ross is on this weird kick of saying how old everyone is tonight.

King starts singing the song. He should stick to Wimpbusters. Pac gets a sweet spin kick early on. He’s against a smaller man so this should be decent. After saying how old Pac is (26), he calls Regal Blackman twice in a row. King points this out to him and of course Ross is offended. He got the idea from Regal being from Blackpool. At least that makes sense. The fans don’t like Regal so he poses for them.

In a cool looking move, Regal uses a slingshot, but instead of the corner X-Pac just lands on his face. That was awesome. Regal puts on a bad looking submission, which prompts Ross to say he’s looking for a submission. Well gee Jim thanks. I thought he was looking for 38 cents he lost in my couch last Thursday. Vince and co. are looking on as apparently Brisco bought Patterson a flower so they’re ok now. Brisco says that Austin will face neither guy.

In another odd looking but cool spot, for some reason X-Pac and Regal are both face down and Regal has his legs wrapped around Pac’s head. Pac flips forward and grabs the legs. So he’s laying next to Regal but is pulling backwards on his crossed legs in the same way you would for a Sharpshooter while lying down. That’s quite freaky looking. For no apparent reason, they argue over who Jesse Ventura would want to win. X-Pac holds his neck and clearly shouts OH SNAP.

As good as this match has been, X-Pac using the Bronco Buster just drains it. I can’t make it clear enough how much I hate that move. It looks completely retarded, so it’s become a staple of the product. They go to the floor and fight over a suplex but both guys get counted out to send Austin to the final four. That was good while it lasted. Vince isn’t happy but he wants overtime.

BUT WAIT!

Vince gets his wish, and we have a five minute overtime. The Fink calls it sudden death, but isn’t every match sudden death? X-Pac can’t fight because he’s hurt, so it’s over. Shouldn’t Regal just move on if they’re redoing the match? Apparently not which makes ZERO sense but whatever. Also, if Vince made the brackets why didn’t he give Austin someone harder than Regal or X-Pac in the second round?

Rating: B. This was another match that I wanted to see more of. This is the problem with big one night tournaments: you can’t see everything you want to. These guys got about 8 minutes though so I guess that’s pretty good.

They worked well together and if I’ve said it once I guess I’m now saying it twice: X-Pac needed to only fight average or small guys. His stuff goes through the roof against them because it looks believable that what he’s doing would be effective. For some reason they never got that. Anyway, this was quite good in my eyes.

First Round: Ken Shamrock vs. Goldust

Shamrock is the IC Champion at this point. The in the zone thing was always humorous to me for some reason. You know since he first got to the WWF, Goldust has really had no gimmick. I know that sounds ridiculous but think about it. What does he do that’s odd anymore? He has the stupid random stuttering thing but that’s once in awhile. Other than that, he’s just a guy in face paint and a weird looking costume.

The movie thing is gone, the inhaling is gone, everything is pretty much gone. He’s just Goldust. I guess that comes with being a veteran though. Apparently after leaving his wife and responsibilities last year he’s back with them now and Terri is pregnant again, but he’s leaving her. This would lead to the female stable known as PMS which was just a mess. Shamrock has won two tournaments already this year so he could be a big favorite in this one which makes sense.

Ross says he likes the ten minute time limits and I’m disagreeing with him again. They should have gone with longer matches and just 8 people. Honestly, would anyone have missed Regal and Pac in there? There had to be four others you could drop in there somewhere. As Ross talks about how great an IC Champion Shamrock is, you can hear the referee say “get it back in the middle of the ring and you have three minutes.” Well that’s good to know.

Shocky was right. It completely sucks the life out of a match. Shamrock is just dominating here as there was never any doubt he would move on. Goldust is another guy you could drop from this. He was just a jobber at this point living off of past success. My goodness I popped in the wrong show. I wanted the 98 show not the 09 one. Oh never mind.

It’s just that Goldust hasn’t done anything in 11 years. My mistake. He goes for Shattered Dreams which misses as Shamrock hits a sloppy top rope hurricanrana. That leads to the belly to belly and the ankle lock for the tap. Thankfully JR didn’t say tapping like a drunk man, because THAT MAKES NO SENSE.

Rating: D+. This was just boring. In something that won’t be said often tonight, that went on too long. It was a complete squash and just wasn’t any good. Granted it was supposed to be just an easy win for Shamrock so at least they got that right. Waste of a match though as 14 people is just too many.

After cutting back to see Shamrock leaving for about a second, Cole has an update on Austin. After the update, we know nothing new.

First Round: Rock vs. HHH

Rock’s pop isn’t that special actually. The winner gets Shamrock. Apparently Vince doesn’t like Rock either. I don’t think there was a reason given for that but whatever. HHH gets a good pop as this is a rematch from the epic ladder match from Summerslam which played a big part in Rock turning face. As the DX song and video plays, we get the Stooges. HHH isn’t here tonight apparently due to injury.

They try to play it off as a no show but it’s actually a knee injury. Rock’s sideburns are odd looking. Patterson says that there won’t be a forfeit and the replacement is Boss Man again. Boss Man gets a running start to the ring and it’s over. In the fastest match in company history, Rock wins in four seconds by grabbing Boss Man as he gets in and rolling him up as the bell is ringing.

Rating: A. For are you kidding me? Like I can grade this. So Jericho and Boss Man are eternally linked, as Jericho beat Rock and Austin in one night and Boss Man lost to them both in one night. In something that I really laugh at, the slow motion replay is a full ten seconds long. That’s just great.

Here’s your updated brackets.

Undertaker
Kane

Shamrock
Rock

Mankind
Al Snow

Austin
Bye

Hmm, which of these people don’t fit in with the other six?

Quarter Finals: Kane vs. Undertaker

This is the next chapter in the absolute never ending feud with Taker and Kane. Paul Bearer is with Taker again. The second round matches are 15 minutes. Bearer joined Taker again when he co won the title. This is happening because both guys pinned Austin at Judgement Day. Apparently cursing someone can be forgiven provided storylines need it. Both entrances here are just sweet, but WAY too long.

How ridiculous is it that we’re on the seventh match of the night already? It’s always amused me that Kane is supposed to be this freak that’s been kept away from society all his life, yet he’s a trained wrestler. Also, why is it that no one has ever physically dominated the Undertaker like everyone that faces him? Listen to any feud that Taker has with a big man and I guarantee that Ross will say that about him. It gets old after awhile.

Again, this is a fast paced version of what could be a good match. There’s a natural chemistry here between these two that never fails to at least be watchable. Taker actually sets up for a figure four. That’s just an odd idea. He’s going for the leg. Is that psychology from the master of the psych out?

Kane actually jumps over the top rope to get to the top for the clothesline. He follows it up with a chokeslam as Bearer gets on the apron. Thanks to the distraction, Taker gets the Tombstone to end it, despite Kane’s foot being under the rope.

Rating: C-. This was somewhere between a bad and fast fight and a train wreck. The time limit and lack of emotion here are clear, which is the stupid part of tournaments. Taker could barely beat Kane with three Tombstones in 25 minutes at Mania, yet he beats him here in seven minutes with one. It’s just the fast forwarded version with no time at all to build up stuff.

Quarter Final: Mankind vs. Al Snow

Again, no transition at all and we’re just on the next match. I hate that. It’s a WWF tape and it skips right when they say WWF Title tournament match. That’s just creepy. Vince McMahon has the power to go back in time and change things apparently. You have to love those panda lovers. Since we can’t remember 45 minutes ago, we get a recap of Snow vs. Jarrett.

Apparently Vince stole Socko. After a few minutes of bad and bland offense, Foley gets head from Snow and gets his sock back. Does that sound like the weirdest porn ever? He then starts beating Snow’s Head. Yep, it’s getting worse. Snow hits a sit out power bomb/spinebuster that was cool. Socko puts Foley in the final four where he’ll get Steve Austin.

Rating: D. This was just boring. I’m sorry a lot of these are short but there’s just not enough to talk about. My stories/jokes about wrestlers are used earlier in the night and there’s absolutely no story in these matches at all. It’s just two guys filling time in the ring with stupid pointless matches until we get down to the important stuff.

Quarter Final: Ken Shamrock vs. The Rock

Winner gets Taker in the next round. We get a replay of both guys winning, including the whole match against Boss Man. That’s just amusing. This is a rivalry that Rock just flat out lost, yet somehow never lost the belt to him. You have to love WWF logic sometimes. The problem with tournaments is already coming through: it gets tiring seeing the same people every night. The chant is now Shamrock Sucks rather than Rocky Sucks, so there we go.

Shamrock was kind of limited as a character in the same was Benoit was. He was great at submission stuff, but he had little to his character and it hurt things for him. There was really no emotional investment to be made with his character and it was very clear. Ok, he’s a great fighter and submission guy. Why should we care? And that is why Benoit’s title reign failed, along with the fact that the real main events were HHH vs. Shawn during his time with the belt, but whatever.

You can tell they’re a bit tired also. I know they have the endurance to go longer than they’ve gone so far, but for Shamrock at least this is his second match. It must be draining to get yourself up for a match then have to do it again. Rock had a 4 second thing so I can hardly count that as a match. Speaking of the devil, here comes Boss Man. He sucks too according to the people.

I’ll give the crowd this: they’ll let you know what they think of you. Shamrock initiates his ending sequence and hooks the ankle lock, but since Rock is a face now it doesn’t get the tap. Boss Man still hasn’t actually done anything so at least he’s living up to his previous reputation. We get a double clothesline so both can take a quick rest. There’s really not a lot of interesting stuff in this match as the first six minutes or so were nothing more than just uninteresting back and forth offense.

Rock gets a low blow and the People’s Elbow but Shamrock kicks out. STOP EVERYTHING! JR DID NOT LIKE THAT CALL! Well, I guess that means we have to stop the show and redo the whole tournament. JR isn’t happy, and when JR isn’t happy, the world must bow to his wishes or dare we try to face the horrors of a JR disrespect rant.

It’s been at least a month since he last complained and whined so he must need to here soon. Rock Bottom is countered into a belly to belly, but Boss Man throws Shamrock the nightstick but Rock intercepts it and drills Shamrock for the pin. That’s a very un People’s Champion like thing to do isn’t it?

Rating: C-. This was just not that good. It was about eight and a half minutes, but they were just going through the motions to a dangerous degree. The last two minutes of it or so were fine, but other than that this was just dull. The fans didn’t really care that much either since until you get to the final four like will be up next, why should we care really? It’s just random matches that aren’t going to mean anything until later on, so why care? I certainly don’t.

Final Four:

Rock
Undertaker

Mankind
Austin

What are the odds that the four biggest names in the company would be the final four? I never for the life of me would have guessed that.

Paul Bearer says Taker will win.

Women’s Title: Sable vs. Jacquelyn

Oh this is going to SUCK. At this time, Sable was supposed to be the best women’s wrestler of all time, but there was one small problem: SHE SUCKED. Sable was over completely for her looks and nothing more. At Summerslam she had the most disgusting match I had ever seen, as Edge did all of the work for her yet Sable got every single bit of the credit. I hated that to no end.

It was always all about Sable and making sure she was happy when she was just horrid in the ring. She’s the epitome of everything that is wrong with women’s wrestling today. She’s there because she looks good in a swimsuit and she can barely wrestle safely let alone wrestle well. Because she has a massive chest though, she’s getting a lot of TV time. Ross says he watched Lawler every day and learned a lot from him.

There’s something you don’t hear every day. Apparently Sable has been training extra hard for this match. That can’t be a good sign. She uses the TKO, which is a cool move, but of course she does it wrong and lands on her knee, making the move look completely weak. Mero pulls her out though to prevent the three. I knew I hated him for some reason. Shane is the referee here as he’s being punished by Vince for being a bad little boy.

Sable hits her bad powerbomb on Mero on the floor, nearly breaking his neck. Why is that supposed to be impressive anyway? Oh look she can do sloppy moves on men. BIG FREAKING DEAL! Jackie has part of Sable’s hair that she cut off a few weeks ago. That’s just creepy.

At least she can wrestle, and with her on offense, not only is it better, but Sable gets beaten up. And just as I say that Sable counters to take over again. After another bad powerbomb and NO build to it, Sable is the Women’s Champion. Just shoot me now.

Rating: D. It was three minutes long, and most of that was sloppy. Once again, the attractive yet untalented wrestler gets the belt. Ross immediately says she’ll be the first to say she’s not the most polished but she’s worked the hardest. That’s the nice way of saying we know she sucks but she’ll have a photo shoot a week now for all the 12 year olds watching.

Semi Finals: Mankind vs. Steve Austin

We get recaps of both guys’ victories from earlier in the night in case we forgot already. I’ll never get why Vince thinks we’re that stupid. Remember Austin got beaten up earlier by Boss Man who has now been involved in three matches. I’m sick of him already. Vince and the Stooges come out after Austin hits Mankind with a slipper. You read that right and it’s better if you don’t ask. Foley is in the shirt and pants now so he’s looking a bit more like his traditional self.

In a weird sequence, Austin and Foley are fighting, and Foley hits the floor and, well I guess you could call it sprinting, sprints to the entrance. He’s stopped by Patterson and Brisco, but Austin comes and fights more. That was random. Since it’s the Attitude Era there’s a long brawl on the floor. McMahon won’t let the referee count. Why not? If both guys get counted out then they’re both eliminated so Austin wouldn’t be champion. Isn’t that what Vince ultimately wants?

I guess it’s because Mankind is the hand picked champion? Only in the Attitude Era do you need a scorecard to keep track of a match. It’s time for a bad rest hold now as Foley sits on Austin’s back with his hands on his face. Time for the double clothesline spot because we need to kill even more time. I remember back at Mania 4 they talked a lot about how you had to have stamina to get through one of these.

Call me crazy but I think Savage was in better shape back then than Foley is in now. Granted that’s just a hunch. Foley brings in a chair but it gets kicked in his face, which for some reason isn’t a DQ. It’s another instance of Vince making the rules up as he goes. Austin gets the Stunner but Vince jumps out of his wheelchair to break up the count before hitting the referee. Ross is of course pissed but Lawler shouts about how it’s a miracle.

Austin counters the Mandible Claw into another Stunner as Shane runs out for the pin. He gets to two and stops so he can flip Austin a double bird, turning heel and joining Vince again. Austin goes after him and the chase is on. Ross’ shouting of WHAT, WHAT, WHAT the heck is going on is rather amusing. Austin whispers a spot to Mankind who clotheslines him down. Slaughter comes in and grabs Austin while Brisco gets a bad chair shot to Austin for the pin.

Foley looks right at him while he’s doing this but Ross says he might not have seen it. I love spots like that where by simply watching the scene you can tell the announcer is wrong. That’s kind of a weak way to get rid of Austin but that’s just me. They begin the references to Montreal as my head begins to hurt.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad but it wasn’t great. Again, it’s just hard to get into a match like this when these two had an great match a few months ago that went about 25-30 minutes while this one just breaks 10. I get the tournament and the time issues, but this is one of the big dangers in it and it shows here. It’s an ok match, but by comparison this isn’t great.

On a side note, Mick Foley might have the best win/loss record against Austin of anyone I can remember after Austin won the title (so no Bret Hart). Think about it. They had two world title matches which were split, Foley pinned him at Summerslam 99 to win the title, and now this. Unless I’m missing a match and I likely am, that’s 3-1. For a guy like Austin, that’s very impressive.

We see Vince and co. running as Vince chases. Austin steals a car, throwing the driver out of it which is funny, and drives off. He’s in his gear, so what would it be like if he got pulled over? That would just be amusing.

We recap what we just saw, and wonder why Shane rehired Austin just to turn heel here.

Semi Finals: Undertaker vs. Rock

Lawler gets in a Groucho Marx line so I’m happy with him again. I didn’t know I was unhappy with him but oh well. Let’s recap both guys getting here because we have nothing better to fill the time up with. This is a rivalry that you don’t see a lot of but it’s certainly an interesting one. Since there was only three minutes of it in the previous match, they brawl on the floor for the early part of this match. Don’t you just love late 90s booking?

They’re in the ring now but they’re going very slowly at the moment. That’s likely better for Taker but for Rock I’d prefer him to go a bit faster. After a lot of slow back and forth stuff, Rock gets tied up in the ropes. He gets out, but even with him standing up and his arms clearly not tied anymore, Taker doesn’t notice. And this guy is supposed to be the master of psychology?

They go to the floor (shocking isn’t it?) and JR points out that if there’s a double count out then Mankind is the new champion. Hearing these words, Lawler screams. That was comical. Ross is wondering how Shane can look himself in the mirror again. Dude it’s wrestling. Ross gets in a small line about how he’s never been in Vince’s house because Vince always fired him elsewhere. Dude, LET IT GO!

Without saying it, Ross points out that there was no point in the face turn for Shane if they were going to turn him heel again this fast. And he’s right. Once again it’s all about the McMahons instead of the actual wrestlers. My goodness Boss Man is here AGAIN. That’s FOUR matches he’s been involved in tonight. That’s as many as whoever is going to win the tournament. In a funny spot, Rock hits a Samoan Drop and does the Taker sit up and the screw you sign to Taker.

Naturally, the announcers are talking about Austin and the McMahons because a solid little comedy moment can’t be acknowledged when Vince has things to do on the show. Rock sets for the elbow but Boss Man hooks his foot and Taker sits up. Now Taker hits Boss Man. In a strange way that makes sense.

Taker chokes Rock as Kane comes in and chokeslams Rock. Lawler thinks they’re back together but it makes sense as Kane just cost Taker a spot in the finals. That’s actually very smart booking. It protects both guys and bangs Rock up for the finals. Kane and Taker fight through the audience.

Rating: B-. It was slow but it was solid. The ending was a bit out there but it made great sense in this case. While not great it’s one of the better matches of the night. Rock and Taker is a pairing that I always wanted to see more of and while they had some short feuds, there was never a huge one and that always puzzled me. Either way, this was good enough but you can tell they’re getting a bit tired.

So the finals are Rock vs. Mankind.

Mankind says he can win tonight, if you smell what the sock is cooking. The look on Cole’s face might be the funniest thing in the history of the Survivor Series.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Headbangers vs. D’lo Brown/Mark Henry

I was going to post the match, but I couldn’t find a version online. The Outlaws are the only tag team in the world worth watching at this point as the Dudleyz were in ECW, Edge and Christian and the Hardys had no clue what they were doing yet, and the Outsiders were kind of feuding. As Road Dogg does his thing, there’s a sign that it’s literally taking 12 people to hold. That’s RIDICULOUS.

On Heat all four guys beat up the Outlaws to try to make it seem like there’s a chance here that we could have new champions here. Spoiler alert: there’s no chance that’s happening here. This is the epitome of a filler match. Billy just doesn’t look right in all black. Naturally the Outlaws get the living tar beaten out of them for most of the match. Did you expect anything else? This is just dragging on forever.

Usually I watch a few minutes of a match and comment on it in here, but I’ve gone 7 minutes here and there’s just nothing to say. It’s not good, it’s not bad, it’s just there. I mean there is nothing at all special about this match that would make me interested in it at all. Ross is talking about the next match which I would be doing as well since there’s just nothing at all here of note.

There are no comedy spots, there are no cool looking sequences, there are no near falls, there’s nothing really bad at all either. It’s just six guys going through the motions and filling in PPV time. Actually 5 since Billy isn’t in this at all for the most part. We get a mixture of finishing moves that do nothing and the Billy hits a random and bad piledriver to end this mess. Post match the Dog says noting of importance.

Rating: F. This was nothing. I mean it was ten minutes of just filler which is awful in my eyes. Some people might like this and I can get that, but for me it was a complete and utter failure. No one with a brain thought there would be new champions tonight, and why should we have? Look at the opponents. This was a waste of time, but it was filler so what can I say?

Since we’re about to have the WWF Title match between Rock and Mankind, let’s talk about Austin and how he got robbed instead. Seriously, that’s all the recap is.

WWF Title: Rock vs. Mankind

Mankind apparently doesn’t get what’s going on. He’s not Eugene people. Rock looks more tired now than he did before he rested, but whatever. I almost forgot: Raw was in Rupp Arena the night after this, which is five minutes from my house. For some reason that I’ll never get, I didn’t want to go. The McMahons are still here too. They start with a lockup as most matches do.

Lawler defends Mankind of all things as JR mentions that WWF people will be on the Home Shopping Network in a bit. That’s even odder. Lawler gets in a little jab about how the people will get to see all of this PPV. What he’s referring to is Halloween Havoc 98. It was a double main event with Hogan vs. Warrior and DDP vs. Goldberg.

However, because we just HAD to have matches such as Saturn vs. Lodi and Wrath vs. Meng, the PPV ran long and the feed cut off at 11, right in the middle of the main event and Goldberg’s best match of his career. WCW aired the main event the next night on Nitro, which is both good and bad at the same time.

It’s good in that they get to have a PPV match for free on television because it’s practically a guaranteed ratings boost, but it’s rude to the fans that paid for it because everyone else is getting to see what the PPV fans paid for. Why should everyone else get to see it for free? The little jokes by Lawler and Ross here are amusing. Given the two people that we have in the ring, the inevitable brawl starts almost immediately.

You can tell that the fans are a bit worn out here. This is the fourth match for both guys so it’s not like these two are fresh faces. Three and a half minutes into the match, Vince and Shane, who is dressed as a referee, comes out to ringside. JR is hurt by Shane being a jerk. In that case, I hope Shane prays for forgiveness, for my God have mercy on he that hurts JR. Naturally Rock and Mankind take it to the floor. This is just getting stupid with how much they do this.

And now they’re deep in the crowd. I love how despite them having no real issues other than being in this match, they’re having this wild brawl. That cheapens things, but that’s what the Attitude Era is all about I suppose. We’re back in the ring now and Rock has a chinlock. It never ceases to amaze me how the Attitude Era is known for being all about excitement and intensity, yet most of the matches are really slow and methodical.

Ross more or less says that both guys are spent. Why? Both more or less had a bye in the first round with the longer of the two matches going 33 seconds. Snow isn’t really that tough of an opponent either, so Mankind more or less had a sparring session, a warm-up, and a real match and now this, yet he’s spent? Rock I can kind of understand as he had two decent length matches, but they shouldn’t be sucking wind or anything. I don’t get that.

We’re on the floor again and Mankind uses a chair. Rock counters and gets the steps on him which he beats with the chair. I get that it would hurt, but I don’t think it would be anywhere near as bad as it’s made out to be. Think about it for a minute. The steps are already on him right? Therefore there’s no major impact between them and his body after the initial shot with them. The chair would really just make them vibrate wouldn’t it?

After another brief stint in the ring, it’s naturally time to go back to the floor. Mankind hits the Cactus elbow from the apron to the floor and puts Rock on the announce table. He pulls a Hogan and legdrops him on it but instead of breaking through it Rock just slides off of it. JR is just flat out annoying here, yelling about all kinds of stuff without ever saying anything at all of importance but having all kinds of people likely praise him for it.

We go back in again and hit another chinlock. That’s the pattern of this match: big violent sequence outside and then a chinlock in the ring. After that, redo it but reverse the roles. That’s just kind of stupid when you think about it. This just isn’t that great of a match. It’s ok, but there’s just nothing excellent about it.

For the fourth time in less than fifteen minutes of this match, we go to the floor. Mankind dives from the middle rope through the Spanish table, because that’s just tradition. Back in the ring, Mankind kicks out of the Elbow. Because that move completely sucks, Mankind is up and hits the double arm DDT and grabs the sock.

The Claw gets two arm drops from the Rock but he counters into the Rock Bottom. However, it looks freaking stupid though because he gets Mankind set for it and then waits seven or eight seconds. Ok wait a minute. Why wouldn’t Foley be able to elbow him or something? Rock had been in trouble for awhile and since it can’t take a ton of energy to use the Claw, are we supposed to believe that Foley is drained of energy?

After not getting a pin with it, Rock gives the eyebrow to Vince and sets up a Sharpshooter. Yes, that’s how this ends: a Montreal reference. Rock goes corporate, turning heel and joining Vince as we reveal that Mankind was just a pawn like everyone knew he was and that Rock was Vince’s man the whole time. Vince gets on the mic and says the people screwed the people, just in case we didn’t get the Montreal reference the first time around.

Rock really looks awesome with that belt to be fair. Mankind is in the corner and looks heartbroken. I love how he went from being this clueless putz to being one of the wittiest guys in the company more or less overnight. Vince says the Rock hates the people. Rock gets on the mic and more or less says screw the people. Foley says he never quit as Rock hits him with the belt. In a moment that wasn’t supposed to be funny, Rock has the belt over his shoulder and Vince takes it to put it around his waist.

This takes forever and once he gets it on, within a second or two Rock takes it back off and puts it on his shoulder again. And cue Austin. He hits the ring and we have a Wrestlemania main event. Austin hits a Stunner that amazingly enough Rock sells correctly. He throws Rock and the belt to the floor and then gives Foley a Stunner for no apparent reason.

After beating on the Rock some more, we’re out. In a bonus we have some extra footage of Rock backstage where he just acts like a heel which is completely pointless footage.

Rating: B-. It was certainly ok, but it’s nothing special. More than anything else this benefits from actually having a decent amount of time. I wouldn’t have gone with Austin running in at the end and beating up Rock but rather have just had the three hold up their hands and end like that, but what they did is ok I suppose. Anyway, this was certainly a decent enough match but there was too much brawling for my taste.

Either way, these two had awesome chemistry together and it showed here, but this isone of their weaker matches, but it was their first time so I’ll let that slide. This would lead to what I felt was an outstanding feud between these two with them trading the title back and forth about 3 times over the next three months before Austin finally got his shot at Mania and took the title back.

Overall Rating: C+. This was one of the hardest ratings I’ve ever had to do. You simply can’t grade it on the strength of the matches alone because it’s just not that kind of a show. It’s a massive gimmick show, and the problem simply is that by the end, you’re bored with it. This show really would have been better making this a standard eight man tournament instead of the 13 (remember Boss Man fought twice).

It’s easy to eliminate five guys from this. Here: Snow, Goldust, Gill, Regal, X-Pac,. That leaves you with Taker, Kane, Rock, Mankind, Austin, Shamrock, Jarrett, and Boss Man. That’s not a bad field at all. Shamrock stays because of the tournament success and he’s IC Champion and Jarrett wins a battle royal or something or other to get in. For one thing, it cuts off a LOT of time that you could use for other non-tournament stuff which this show is dying for.

Also some of the matches could be say two or three minutes longer which makes them better to me as well. Overall, four matches each is just too much for guys, even if two were jokes. That’s four times the crowd has to pop for you and it just drains the people out. You can really tell this in the main event as there’s next to no pop at all, simply because the fans are popped out. Like I said though, this is one that is completely up in the air.

If you like things like one night tournaments then this is your show. If not, then watch the last four matches. I thought it was fine and it set up Mania, but yeah this would have been MUCH better if there was one less round. I’ll recommend it slightly but with a disclaimer.

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: June 8, 2007
Location: Amway Arena, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

One Night Stand has come and gone and not a lot has changed around here. Edge beat Batista to retain the World Title again and other than that….yeah that’s about it really. It wasn’t a major show, but now we need to get ready for Vengeance, which will be focused on the titles. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Edge for the Cutting Edge to get things going. Before we get started, Edge calms the people down by saying that he’ll be in action tonight. Well at least he should, as Vickie Guerrero is making a double main event and he better be involved. As for the Cutting Edge though, he has a guest who requested to be on the show: Vince McMahon! Vince is still looking all shaken up so Edge asks how he is feeling. He quotes the 23rd Psalm before changing the ending to say that thou aren’t with me.

Edge brings up the Draft and how Smackdown needs to be shaken up. Vince looks like he is having severe stomach pains as Edge sucks up to him, even handing him the World Title. That’s too far for Vince, who gets up to say that Edge is no better than John Cena or Bobby Lashley. Vengeance will be his, so at Vengeance, Edge is defending the title against Batista. Vince: “Life sucks and then you die.” The match is a Do Or Die match, though we don’t actually get an explanation of what that means. Vince is still rather odd here and it’s kind of awesome, though it still feels like it came up really fast.

Boogeyman vs. Mark Henry

Little Boogeyman is here too. Henry headbutts Boogeyman to start but seems to stagger himself a bit. We’re already in the bearhug on Boogeyman but Henry lets go to beat up Little Boogeyman. The World’s Strongest Slam finishes for Henry in a hurry.

Post match Henry beats up Little Boogeyman, including a World’s Strongest Slam and a splash.

Vickie Guerrero announces our main events: Edge vs. Chris Benoit and Batista vs. MVP.

Post break, Kristal comes in to see Vickie Guerrero to praise her for her work so far. Teddy Long says Vickie wasn’t bad for her first time but here is Vince McMahon to be all nuts and say that Kristal is Long’s problem. She’s half his age! Vince leaves and Teddy isn’t happy.

Jamie Noble/Daivari/Chavo Guerrero vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Brian Kendrick/Paul London

Yang and Noble start us off as the Jung Dragons explode (or at least wrestle). Noble gets armdragged into an armbar before it’s off to London to twist the arm as well. Chavo comes in and gets armdragged as well as they’re certainly moving fast. A monkey flip allows the tag to Yang, who comes in off a high crossbody.

Daivari comes in and stomps Yang down, followed by Noble doing the same. The chinlock goes on for a bit before Chavo grabs a suplex for two. Yang finally kicks Noble away though and the hot tag brings in Kendrick to clean house. Noble gets in a cheap shot though and everything breaks down. Yang hits a springboard dive to the floor, leaving Chavo to get caught in an assisted Sliced Bread for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was the kind of fun six man tag you would expect with the champion taking the pin, as you would probably also expect. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a title as intentionally devalued as the Cruiserweight Title, but it would be nice if WWE did anything to try and make it seem valuable.

Edge vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title and we’re told that Edge vs. Batista is on no matter what happens in the Draft. Feeling out process to start with Benoit working on an aggressive wristlock. An armdrag sends Edge into the corner so Benoit just stares at him. Benoit takes it to the mat again and grabs a chinlock, followed by an armbar. Back up and a hard whip into the corner gets two but Edge is in the ropes before the Crossface can go on. Edge has to fight his way out of a German suplex from the apron and we take a break.

Back with Benoit holding a cravate so Edge rakes the eyes to escape. Benoit sends him outside and hits a baseball slide into the barricade to put Edge right back in trouble. Edge is fine enough to whip him hard into the corner but Benoit headbutts his way out of a superplex attempt.

The Swan Dive misses though and Edge gets two. A big boot connects for the same and Edge works on the arm but Benoit scores with an enziguri. Benoit rolls the snap suplexes and then rolls the German suplexes for a bonus. The Swan Dive connects but Benoit can’t get the Crossface. Edge is back up for the spear but that gets countered into the Crossface, sending Edge to the rope. Back up and now the spear can connect to give Edge the pin.

Rating: B. This felt like a big time main event level match so well done at making something work. Sometimes you need to have two talented people wrestle a long match and that’s what we got here. These two have some great chemistry together and Benoit made Edge work hard to survive.

Ashley is getting her hair and makeup done when Jillian Hall comes up to say Ashley can’t look as good as she does. Jillian says if Ashley had talent, she wouldn’t have to interfere in other people’s matches. Ashley threatens violence if they wind up on the same show (tonight has no consequences apparently). A slap lets Jillian run away, with Ashley in pursuit.

Matt Hardy is signing something for charity when Vince McMahon comes up to ask how he is doing. Hardy talks about how brutal things have been for him lately but here is Ashley to knock Vince’s coffee onto him. This earns Matt a handicap match with Deuce N Domino. Matt leaves to get ready so Vince asks how Ashley is doing. She feels terrible but Vince laughs a lot and suspends her. Ashley breaks down in tears as Vince leaves.

Matt Hardy vs. Deuce N Domino

Non-title. The double stomping is on in a hurry but Matt manages to knock Domino outside. That leaves Deuce to kick Matt in the bad ribs for two and here’s Domino to clothesline Matt down again. Double stomping sends us to a break and we come back with Matt crotching Domino on top. A clothesline gets two on Deuce but Matt has to deal with the returning Domino. Matt can barely get up so Domino kicks him in the face for the pin.

Rating: C-. Matt tried to make this competitive but it was a match that didn’t need to go as long as it did. The Tag Team Champions shouldn’t have that much trouble beating up a banged up Matt Hardy, though it was nice to see him fighting back for a bit. There was a story of Matt fighting his way through the pain but just coming up short, so this could have been a lot worse.

MVP brags about how great he is and how he has everything these people don’t, including a title. He is straight up ballin and he’ll prove it to Batista tonight.

Commentary recaps Vince McMahon’s insanity.

MVP vs. Batista

Non-title. They start slowly with MVP getting in a quick shot and posing, earning himself a drive into the corner. MVP starts kicking at the leg and gets knocked down again as Batista is right back with a clothesline. We take a break and come back with MVP getting whipped hard into the corner. A suplex gives Batista two but he misses a charge in the corner so MVP can kick away.

MVP’s big running kick sends Batista outside and it’s a bunch of right hands back inside. The catapult sends Batista throat first into the bottom rope for two and there’s another kick to the head to send him outside. Back in again and MVP grabs a chinlock with a knee in the back, followed by some knees to the face. Somehow that’s enough to make Batista fight back, including the running clotheslines in the corner. The swinging Boss Man Slam connects but here is Edge to jump Batista for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was a bit of a surprise as they got some time to set up a good match. I was worried that they were going to have MVP take the pin here so well done on going with the good ending. Edge vs. Batista doesn’t quite need to go to a third match but that’s about all they can do at this point. Pretty good main event here, mainly due to not making any dumb decisions.

Post match Batista goes after Edge, who runs from the threat of a Batista Bomb to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Another fairly strong show here, though your taste in the latest Vince stuff may vary. Vince being so out of it after losing the ECW World Title is a way they can go, but it still feels really rushed. That being said, crazy Vince walking around tormenting people is something that can work out well and it’s adding some spice to what has otherwise been a pretty dull start to the summer.

 

 

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One Night Stand 2007
Date: June 3, 2007
Location: Jacksonville Veterans Memorial, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s what almost has to be the final cycle of Wrestlemania rematches and early summer stories. The build for this has not been great, which probably has a lot to do with it being a mere two weeks after Backlash. The card isn’t looking the best either, but maybe they can surprise me. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how everything is extreme rules for one night only, though in this case it means everything has its own stipulations. There’s a better name for the show in there somewhere.

Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam

This is a stretcher match and fallout from Orton attacking Van Dam and giving him a concussion, which was fallout from Orton attacking Shawn Michaels and giving him a concussion. Van Dam does the finger pointing and then kicks Orton in the face to start fast. Some more strikes keep Orton rocked early, including a running clothesline in the corner. A kick to the face sets up the spinning legdrop but Orton gets in a shot to the face to put Van Dam down, complete with bugged out eyes.

Van Dam is fine enough to kick Orton in the face but the jump to the top means a crash out to the floor. Orton slowly brings him back inside for the dropkick before slowly knocking Van Dam down a few times. The over the shoulder neckbreaker drops Van Dam but he falls off the stretcher. For some reason that wakes Van Dam up and he posts Orton down.

Now it’s Orton being laid on the stretcher for the spinning kick to the back. They head back inside with Van Dam hitting a clothesline but Rolling Thunder is reversed into the powerslam in a slick counter. Van Dam manages to toss him onto the stretcher again, but a big running flip dive over the top only hits floor in a nasty landing. Orton drops him onto the stretcher but Van Dam fights up and puts Orton on for the surprise win.

Rating: C. This was a bit of a weird match as Orton beat Van Dam up for a good while and then lost in the end, despite Van Dam looking destroyed more than once. Van Dam deserves some attention for his facials alone and there was a nice story being told. Maybe not a great match and I’m not sure on Orton winning, but they did something different enough here.

Post match Orton is right back up and beats Van Dam back to ringside. The Punt off the apron sets up the hanging DDT from the barricade, which ends Van Dam’s full time WWE career for the time being. Aside from some cameos, Van Dam would not be back until 2013.

Vince McMahon is worried about the street fight with Bobby Lashley but Shane McMahon says Umaga will take care of things. That helps, but Vince has a premonition of something bad happening to him.

Sandman/Tommy Dreamer/CM Punk vs. New Breed

Tables match, meaning we have tags. Dreamer and Cor Von go technical to start, including a butterfly suplex to put Dreamer down. Burke comes in but misses a charge in the corner, allowing the tag off to Sandman. That means a hiptoss before Punk comes in to a big reaction for some knees to Striker. Punk and Dreamer want some tables but Punk has to dive on Cor Von first.

Back in and Striker runs from Sandman and the kendo stick before Cor Von has to save him from the table. Burke hits a quick elbow to Punk’s bad ribs and it’s everyone inside to brawl again. We hit the parade of secondary finishers, including Cor Von Alpha Bombing Punk. Dreamer piledrives Burke and Punk superplexes Striker through Burke and the table for the win.

Rating: C-. This could have been any ECW On Sci Fi main event and that isn’t the worst place to be. The problem here was the time and the lack of any real story to the whole thing, as they just wildly brawled for the most part. Granted that’s what this probably should have been and now it is time to wrap up the New Breed as Punk can move on to something bigger.

Randy Orton comes up to see Edge and suggests that he’s coming for the World Heavyweight Title, if Edge beats Batista tonight and if he gets moved to Smackdown in the Draft. That’s quite the hypothetical and Edge doesn’t seem scared.

Raw Tag Team Titles: World’s Greatest Tag Team Team vs. Hardys

The Hardys are defending in a ladder match. It’s a fight to start with the Hardys knocking both of them down in a row. Since that doesn’t mean much in a ladder match, all four head outside and pick up a ladder of their own. The dueling is on until Haas gets crushed by ladders in the corner, setting up Poetry In Motion to Shelton to smash Haas again.

Haas is fine enough to get out and pull Jeff off the ladder but Matt is there to make the save. The Hardys go up at the same time (which is stupid), allowing Shelton to throw a ladder at them to bring them back down (I knew it was stupid). Jeff is sent face first into the ladder in the corner and Haas and Benjamin, apparently not learning, go up at the same time as well.

Matt breaks that up in a hurry but it’s time to set up ladder contraptions. That takes too long though and the Hardys send both of them back first into a ladder. Now it’s time to bring in the bigger ladders, because the ladder match checklist must be completed. One such ladder is bridged between the ring and the apron, with Benjamin being backdropped onto it in a hurry.

That’s not good enough so Jeff loads up something off the top but Haas belly to back superplexes him down. Haas leans Matt up against a ladder on the floor and Jeff gets t-boned. That doesn’t seem to bother Matt though as he shoves Haas and Benjamin down, the latter onto a ladder, setting up a Swanton to keep them down. Matt pulls the titles down to retain.

Rating: B. Like this wasn’t going to work. It’s a match I didn’t care to see but knew it was going to be good, which was absolutely what happened here. Sometimes you need to let people who are good at this kind of thing do their stuff and that was the case here. It was nothing that hadn’t been done before, but it was done well.

Great Khali promises to win.

Mark Henry vs. Kane

Lumberjack match and the lumberjacks get their own individual entrances. Henry powers him to the floor to start but Kane is back in to kick Henry in the face. That doesn’t bother Henry much either so Kane slugs him out to the floor and follows him out. This time Henry rams him into the post to start working on the back and hammers away in it inside. A test of strength doesn’t work well for Henry as Kane headbutts his way to freedom, only to get shouldered down.

Kane can’t pick Henry up and we hit the bearhug, with Henry eventually throwing him down. Henry gets tossed outside so Kane dives onto a bunch of people for the big crash. Back in and Kane hits the top rope clothesline to set up the chokeslam but the lumberjacks come in to beat him down. Since it’s No DQ, Henry grabs the bearhug again and Kane is out for the win.

Rating: D. The gimmick didn’t do the match any favors here and it felt rather forced in. I get that they had to do something to make this an extreme match but it was basically Henry hurting Kane’s back, some interference, and then Henry wins. That could have been done without the lumberjacks and that is never a good sign for any match.

The Hardys and the World’s Greatest Tag Team get in a fight backstage.

We recap Bobby Lashley vs. Vince McMahon for the ECW World Title. Lashley helped shave McMahon’s head at Wrestlemania so Vince swore revenge and eventually took the title with some help from Shane McMahon and Umaga. After screwing Lashley over a time or two, it is time for the final showdown in a street fight.

ECW World Title: Vince McMahon vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is challenging in a street fight and Shane McMahon/Umaga are here with Vince. Lashley wastes no time in diving over the top onto Umaga, who he grazes with his feet at best. Now it’s Shane getting beaten up and tossed onto Umaga at ringside, leaving Lashley to unload on Vince in the corner.

Umaga comes back in to miss a splash in the corner but Shane is back in with a DDT onto a chair. Vince clotheslines Lashley down and chokes in the corner before they head outside. More triple teaming ensues before heading back inside where Vince can hit a spear for two. Lashley pulls Vince in the way of Umaga’s splash though and the comeback is on.

Shane and Umaga are sent outside and Lashley unloads on Vince with a chair. The Dominator gets two with Umaga making the save, setting up a splash from the apron. Shane adds the top rope elbow through the announcers’ table and everyone is down again. That only gives Vince two back inside so Umaga hits the running hip attack in the corner. Shane misses Coast To Coast though and Lashley is back up with the spear to Vince to get the title back.

Rating: C. This was the fairly obvious way to go and there is nothing wrong with that. Sometimes you need to go in the logical way and this time around that meant Lashley running through the odds and getting the title back. Lashley is a monster, but now he needs something else to do, which unfortunately won’t involve Vince as the amazing ECW heel. Not a great match or a great brawl, but it did what it was supposed to do.

Post match Lashley hits another spear on Vince for a bonus.

Maria likes Santino Marella speaking Italian to her but she has to answer a question about the upcoming pudding match between Melina and Candice Michelle. As you might guess, her response features a lot of big words and scientific explanations about pudding. Candice pops up and asks for a kiss for luck. Maria obliges, so Santino says he loves America. Ron Simmons comes in for the catchphrase.

Melina vs. Candice Michelle

Non-title and they’re fighting in pudding. Candice shoves her down and they grapple around a lot, as you can probably guess how this is going. They fight on the floor a bit and Lawler can’t tell which is which, though he doesn’t seem to care. Melina licks some pudding off of her thumb and hits a DDT. Trash talking ensues, but Candice pulls her into a reverse chinlock for the tap (on pudding). Exactly what you would have expected.

Post match Maria comes in for an interview but gets pulled into the pudding. The referee is pulled in as well and Lawler is jealous.

We recap Edge vs. Batista for the Smackdown World Title. Edge cashed in Money in the Bank to take the title from Undertaker, then cheated to beat Batista at Judgment Day. Now it’s time for Batista to get his rematch inside a cage.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Edge

Edge is defending in a cage. Batista starts fast by taking him down and going up but it’s way too early for that. Edge tries to go up but gets pulled back down, earning himself a heck of a clothesline for two. A few shots to the face aren’t enough for Edge to get out as Lashley suplexes him down for two more.

Now it’s Batista going up, only to have his leg kicked out for the save. That’s enough to weaken Batista’s already damaged leg but he’s fine enough to catch Edge trying for the door. A superplex gives Batista two and they collide in the middle off a spear vs. running shoulder for the double knockdown. It’s Batista up first with a running clothesline and a swinging Boss Man Slam gets two.

A catapult sends Edge face first into the cage and Batista launches him face first in again. Somehow Edge manages a quick spear for two but Batista pulls him off the top for the same. The Batista Bomb is countered (with Edge’s thong sticking out) as Edge winds up on top. Batista follows him up but gets low blowed back down. Batista goes for the door but Edge climbs out to escape and retain.

Rating: C. That’s it? That felt like the setup for another false finish and then they just finished the match. It wasn’t terrible, but it seemed like they were missing the last five or so minutes. This should put Batista out of the title picture for the time being, though I’m not sure what that leaves for him to do at the moment. Edge can find someone new though, and he can do so after beating Batista pretty clean.

We recap John Cena vs. Great Khali. Cena retained the title at Judgment Day but Khali’s leg was underneath the ropes. That’s why tonight it’s a falls count anywhere match for the title, meaning the ropes can’t save Cena. The idea here is that Cena knows he’s facing a monster and might be in way over his head.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Great Khali

Cena is defending in a falls count anywhere match. Cena goes right after him to start but is quickly knocked down, including a bunch of stomping in the corner. There’s a slam to plant Cena but he gets in a shot of his own for a breather. Khali is right back up with a chop to the head to put Cena on the floor though and the foot on the chest gets two. A hard ram sends Cena head first through a monitor but another big chop is blocked.

Instead, Cena is tossed over the barricade but he manages a monitor shot of his own. The FU attempt is swatted away though and Khali punches him around. A missed charge (work with me here) misses for Khali and Cena hits him in the face with a boom camera for two. Cena gets him off the ground for the FU but some elbows to the face get Khali out of trouble again. They fight onto a crane, where Cena finally manages the FU off of said crane to retain the title.

Rating: C+. While certainly not a classic, they did this as well as they could have. What mattered here was they found the right way to hide Khali’s limitations and let Cena do the rest. The idea of setting up the FU for the whole match and then blowing it off in the end was the right call too and it was a well set up match. I’m not sure how much better they could have done this and the stipulation made the match better rather than just being tacked on.

Overall Rating: C. This was a show that focused almost entirely on the gimmicks and that was not a bad thing. The stories were either mostly done or not exactly exciting, so putting the emphasis on everything else they were doing was the right idea. It made for an easy show to watch, even if it didn’t feel all that important. We need to move on in a big way, but at least they had a fine enough show to wrap up this cycle.

 

 

 

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Saturday Night’s Main Event #34
Date: June 2, 2007
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 16,176
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night before One Night Stand 2007 and this is a show that WWE is required to do while showing a bare minimum of interest. There has been almost no mention of this show on WWE TV and that is rarely a good sign for what we have coming. The show is only an hour and a half though so maybe we can get a little break this time around. Let’s get to it.

We have a theme this time: Biggest, Smallest, Strongest, Strangest. This is going to be a rough sit.

John Cena vs. Great Khali

Non-title and a preview of tomorrow night’s title match. After a video on Khali being big and scary, we’re ready to go. Cena goes right at him to start but the FU attempt is blocked with a forearm to the back. Khali punches him into the corner without much effort and we hit the choking. An attempt at a takedown for the STFU is shrugged off and Khali runs him over with a clothesline. The fans tell Khali that he sucks as he pounds Cena down again and again. Another FU attempt manages to get Khali off of his feet but he elbows his way to freedom. The chokeslam finishes Cena, with Khali putting his foot on the chest for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’ve never cared for this one as we are a day away from One Night Stand and I don’t really care to see the match again. It wasn’t that good here and the original match was only so much better. I get the idea that it’s now a trilogy and Cena needs to overcome incredible odds, but it isn’t working for me here.

Post match Khali rants, which is translated to Khali saying he can beat Cena anywhere.

Here is Vince McMahon for some arm wrestling with Bobby Lashley, so we see a long history package recapping their feud. Lashley comes out and since this is WWE arm wrestling, we spend a good time on Vince getting ready to go. Actually hold on, because here is Mark Henry to take Vince’s place. Lawler: “Mr. McMahon always has something up his sleeves, even when he’s not wearing sleeves!” Henry takes over to start but Lashley makes the comeback, causing Henry to jump him to start the brawl. Lashley hits a spear to drop Henry but Vince smashes Lashley with a chair to leave him laying.

Maria asks Edge if he is the smallest or the strangest. Edge says none, and explains how he won the World Heavyweight Title. That’s why he isn’t the biggest, strongest, smallest or strangest, because he is the greatest. Good line.

Batista/Chris Benoit vs. MVP/Edge

Batista has a taped up leg coming in. Joined in progress with MVP hammering on Benoit in the corner and then dragging him over to Edge (who gets the hometown pop). Benoit is fine enough to snap off a suplex for two on Edge and then runs him over for a bonus. Batista comes in so Edge bails immediately, leaving Batista to beat up MVP instead. A boot to the face gives Batista two and it’s back to Benoit for the chops.

The rolling German suplexes plant MVP but Edge offers a distraction, meaning the Swan Dive misses. The villains take over on Benoit as Lawler accuses him of taking the coward’s way out. Some shots to the ribs set up a waistlock to keep Benoit in trouble, allowing commentary to list off Edge’s resume. MVP comes in to drop an elbow to the ribs but Benoit kicks him away. There’s the hot tag to Batista to pick up the pace as Edge walks out. The spinebuster into a Swan Dive finishes MVP.

Rating: C. This was pretty much any main event level tag match and it makes sense that Edge would walk out of a match that doesn’t mean anything to him. At the same time, it makes Edge appear to be afraid of Batista to make their cage match a little more interesting. I would think MVP vs. Benoit would be over, but why let it go so soon?

Finlay/Hornswoggle vs. Boogeyman/Little Boogeyman

The big guys start with Boogeyman shoving Finlay down despite having a mouth full of worms. A running shoulder in the corner sets up an atomic drop to keep Finlay in trouble so it’s off to Little Boogeyman for a running seated senton. Little Boogeyman punches away at Finlay, setting up a short (you know the jokes) DDT. Hornswoggle comes in for the brawl but Finlay dropkicks Little Boogeyman in the face. That means a jig from Finlay and Hornswoggle but Boogeyman chases Hornswoggle to the back. Finlay uses the distraction to kick Little Boogeyman in the head for the pin.

Rating: D. We’ll file this under “well what else were you expecting”. The wrestling wasn’t anything to see here but that also wasn’t exactly the point. This was about getting the wacky characters in the ring to continue their feud which likely doesn’t have much of a major endgame in mind. At least they kept (about half of it) short.

Extreme Expose, but we cut to the back where Little Boogeyman is chasing Hornswoggle. That leads into the regular Boogeyman but Finlay makes the save with the Shillelagh. We cut back to the dancing…and here is Hornswoggle, still running from Little Boogeyman. Naturally, this turns into a chicken fight between Brooke and Layla until everyone falls down. Little Boogeyman chases Hornswoggle away as WWE is somehow managing to make EXTREME EXPOSE too complicated.

Kane/Eugene/Doink the Clown vs. Kevin Thorn/Umaga/Viscera

This was originally Kane/Goldust/Shannon Moore/Kamala vs. Umaga/Viscera/Doink/Thorn but Goldust backed out and we get this instead. That’s not fair to Kamala, but nothing ever was. As a bonus, Eugene is now a superhero. Doink and Thorn start things off and the YAY/BOO chants begin. They circle each other for a good bit until Doink grabs a boot to the ribs. That finally earns him a push into the corner and the beating is on. Back up and it’s off to Eugene….who gets to face Umaga.

Eugene gets hammered down and Viscera comes in to send Eugene outside. Gyrations send us to a break and we come back with Umaga coming back in to stomp away. The nerve hold goes on to keep Eugene in trouble and Thorn’s chinlock does the same. Eugene finally manages to escape and brings in Kane to clean house. Everything breaks down and Kane hits the top rope clothesline on Thorn but Umaga makes the save. Viscera misses a charge at Kane in the corner and gets chokeslammed for the pin.

Rating: D. That’s about all you could have hoped for it to be. This was as exciting as a match where they sat around for nine minutes waiting on the hot tag to Kane was going to be. The original lineup wouldn’t have made this any better as it was going to be Kane and a bunch of goofs vs. Umaga and his slightly more effective goofs, so how good could this have been?

A two minute highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: D-. Oh yeah this was terrible, as they managed to have one ok match, a bunch of bad ones, and then somehow found a way to turn Extreme Expose into a joke. I’m sure this was a required show from NBC but it would have been nice to see the slightest bit of effort. The EST theme was something, but egads they managed to waste an hour and a half of everyone’s time with this mess.

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: June 1, 2007
Location: John Labatt Centre, London, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the last Smackdown before One Night Stand but we also have to finish the build to Saturday Night’s Main Event, because the one thing that WWE needed at this point is more content. Last week saw Batista become the #1 contender again, meaning he gets a shot at Edge and the World Title in a cage on Sunday. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Chris Benoit/Matt Hardy vs. MVP/The Miz

The graphic says Mike Mizanin but commentary calls him the Miz. Benoit and MVP lock up to start with MVP getting pummeled into the corner. It’s off to Hardy for a back elbow and elbow drop for two so Miz comes in to get beaten up as well. A backbreaker gives Benoit two, followed by a snap suplex for the same. Miz sends Benoit into the corner though and rams him head first into the mat for two.

The Mizard of Oz gets two on Benoit, who suplexes his way out of trouble again. That’s enough for the tag to Hardy, who pulls Miz out of the corner into a sitout powerbomb for two of his own. Everything breaks down and the villains are cleared out as we take a break. Back with Miz hammering away and cutting off Matt’s comeback with a clothesline. MVP’s cheap shot from the apron keeps Matt in trouble and it’s time for a nerve hold to keep things slow.

The running boot to the face in the corner gets two more on Matt as the beating is on in full. Miz snaps Matt’s throat across the middle rope for two and the chinlock goes on. MVP comes back in but Matt finally gets up an elbow in the corner, setting up the running bulldog. The hot tag brings in Benoit to clean house but Miz kicks off the Sharpshooter attempt. That’s fine with Benoit, who settles for the Crossface and the tap as Matt dives onto MVP.

Rating: C+. This got some time and it makes a lot of sense to put Miz in there with some talented people. Miz needs ring time and a way to get built up, with a match like this working rather well. It’s a good sign that he was able to hold up his part of the match, as the new, serious version is working much faster than I would have expected.

Finlay gives Hornswoggle a pep talk for his match with Little Boogeyman, because that’s a thing.

Jillian Hall vs. Michelle McCool

Feeling out process to start with Michelle flipping out of an early headscissors. Michelle grabs a cradle, which is in no way a reason for her to twist and contort. Jillian sends her outside and chokes away inside as the fans are not exactly interested. We hit the backbreaker for a bit before Michelle comes back with a belly to belly for two. Jillian takes her down and hits the front flip legdrop for three near falls but here is Ashley Massaro for a distraction. That’s enough for Michelle to grab a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for the pin.

Rating: D+. This is a case where you have to consider the particulars. It wasn’t a very good match, but it felt like a match. They were doing actual moves and looking fairly competent at them, which is a lot better than a series of hair pulls and brawling. You can see the women coming a long way and that’s rather impressive.

Boogeyman fires up Little Boogeyman.

Little Boogeyman vs. Hornswoggle

Boogeyman is here too. JBL: “Koko B. Ware would look like Andre the Giant in this match.” Little Boogeyman spits worms into Hornswoggle’s hat to start and then knocks Hornswoggle down. The gyrating elbow gets two and it’s time to throw worms at Hornswoggle. That’s fine with Hornswoggle, who spits mist back at Little Boogeyman.

Cue Finlay from underneath the ring to throw Little Boogeyman back inside, setting up a brawl with Boogeyman. Hornswoggle dives off the apron to hammer on Boogeyman for a weird visual, leaving Finlay to Shillelagh Little Boogeyman. Hornswoggle debuts the Tadpole Splash for the pin to end a surprisingly wild match.

Mark Henry is going to hurt Kane tonight.

Raw Rebound.

Kane vs. Mark Henry

Kane kicks him to the floor so Henry comes back in for the drive into the corner. The clubbing forearms into the running powerslam plants Kane and there’s the running splash in the corner. Henry misses a splash though and Kane drops an elbow into a legdrop for two. Kane scores with the top rope clothesline but Henry bails to the floor at the threat of a chokeslam. That’s fine with Kane, who dropkicks him through the ropes, only to get caught in a bearhug. Henry drives him hard into the post and that’s enough for the countout.

Rating: C-. This was a way to keep Henry strong while also protecting Kane for a future rematch so they covered two ideas at once. Henry is being built up as a major force on Smackdown and a big win over Kane would go a long way to get him there. This was the first step on that path so not a bad start, even if the match wasn’t great.

Post match Kane sits up and chases Henry off.

Edge isn’t scared of Batista and is ready for him on the Cutting Edge later tonight.

Deuce N Domino aren’t worried about the Draft because they aren’t going into the army and getting buzzcuts. The interviewer explains it and the champs aren’t happy.

Tag Team Titles: Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. William Regal/Dave Taylor vs. Deuce N Domino

Deuce N Domino are defending. Regal elbows Domino in the face to start and hands it off to Taylor to uppercut Domino down. London comes into headlock Taylor before shifting to the arm, with Kendrick coming in off the top to stay on it. Taylor uppercuts his way to freedom though and it’s off to Deuce via a blind tag. That’s fine with London, who armdrags Deuce down and hands it off to Kendrick in a hurry. Taylor punches him in the face to escape (as you do) but Kendrick crossbodies him over the top for the crash to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Kendrick and Deuce slowing things back down until Kendrick has to try to skin the cat. Domino breaks that up with a kick to the ribs though and the champs take over on Kendrick. Back in and Domino grabs a cobra clutch until Taylor tags himself back in. Kendrick is tossed outside in a crash but Regal is smart enough to throw him back inside to break up the countout.

We hit the chinlock back inside with Kendrick having to put a boot on the ropes for a break. An enziguri finally gives Kendrick a breather but Regal comes back in to wreck him with a half nelson suplex (that landing was nasty). The villains get in a fight of their own though and Kendrick gets over for the tag to London. House is cleaned in a hurry but Cherry hits London with her rollerskate so Domino can steal the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B-. This got time and was enough of a different kind of match to keep things feeling fresh. You don’t see triple threat tag matches very often around here so it was nice to have something different for a change. Deuce N Domino have established themselves as champions, though I’m not sure who they are supposed to face next, as depth isn’t really a priority for the tag division.

One Night Stand rundown, including Mark Henry vs. Kane in a lumberjack match.

Teddy Long congratulates Vickie Guerrero on coming up with the lumberjack match. Kristal is worried about being Drafted to another show, but Long would give up being GM to be with her. Vickie says she would run the show in his honor if he had to leave. She even lets the two of them leave early tonight and volunteers to run the show (all ten minutes left of it) for Teddy. Sure why not.

It’s time for the Cutting Edge and Edge wastes no time in bringing out Batista as his guest. Edge makes it clear that this is not going to get physical but he isn’t scared of Batista. Maybe Batista is the one intimidated….so he takes off his jacket. He’s just a bit hot, but Edge is looking a bit scared.

Batista talks about how Edge stole the title from Undertaker but Edge says he’s the champ. Batista: “Until One Night Stand.” Edge wishes him luck, so Batista does the same and slaps him in the face. Edge says he doesn’t need it so Batista says he does and slaps Edge again. We go back and forth with YES YOU DO/NO I DON’T plus some shoving. Edge says he isn’t scared, but Batista says he should be and punched Edge down to end the show. They’re doing what they can with almost no story here and it’s going as well as can be expected.

Overall Rating: C. This show took a different path from last week in that they were trying to build things up as well as they could while also giving us a good amount of in-ring action. What we got here was entertaining enough, though I’m really looking forward to getting past Sunday and on to something fresh. For now though, it a nice go home show for a not so great looking pay per view.

 

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: May 25, 2007
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re done with Judgment Day and now we have less than two weeks to go before One Night Stand. Edge cheated to defeat Batista and retain the Smackdown World Title so we might be in for a rematch at the next pay per view. I’m not sure what else we’ll be getting but building to a low level pay per view can be rough. Let’s get to it.

Here is Judgment Day if you need a recap.

The opening video, set to Ozzy Osborne’s I Don’t Wanna Stop, looks at Edge becoming World Heavyweight Champion, and retaining against Batista on Sunday.

Here is Edge to get things going. Edge talks about the praise Batista vs. Undertaker has been receiving but where did it get them? Nowhere, other than leaving them vulnerable for the Ultimate Opportunist. Edge beat Undertaker and Batista 1-2-3 and here he is as the World Heavyweight Champion. This is the Rated R Era and it DOES NOT SUCK, despite what the fans say. Cue Teddy Long to announce a #1 contenders match for tonight, with Kane vs. Finlay vs. Mark Henry vs. Batista. Edge can go with that, but Teddy ups the ante by putting the title match inside a steel cage.

Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. William Regal/Dave Taylor

Hold on though as here are Deuce N Domino and Cherry to watch from their car. Taylor headlocks Kendrick down to start but gets monkey flipped for his effort. A dropkick puts Taylor on the floor but he counters a headscissors into a toss out to the floor. Regal comes in to fire off some knees to the face (simple yet effective), setting up the wishbone split. Kendrick manages to dodge a shot though and the hot tag brings in London to clean house. A spinwheel kick drops Regal but Domino shoves London off the top for the DQ.

Rating: C. London and Kendrick vs. Deuce N Domino needs to go far away but I’ll take this over half of a team vs. half of a team. Regal and Taylor are the kind of team who can always have a place on the roster as you can always use some brawlers. This was a perfectly fine match and that’s all they could hope for with so little time.

Post match the big brawl is on.

We look back at Randy Orton injuring Shawn Michaels at Judgment Day.

Hornswoggle has stolen the World Heavyweight Title and Edge is giving chase. They run into Finlay, who makes Hornswoggle give it back to Edge, for now.

Jillian Hall is singing in the ring when Boogeyman, with full entrance, comes out but she somehow doesn’t notice him until he’s in the ring. Jillian bails but Michelle McCool throws her back in for the worming.

Teddy Long officially makes Vickie Guerrero his assistant and she’s rather happy. Vickie leaves and Krystal offers to thank Teddy for his decision.

Matt Hardy vs. Miz

Feeling out process to start with JBL ranting about how evil the Guerreros are. Miz elbows his way out of a hammerlock and bends Matt’s neck around the rope. The cravate goes on and Hardy can’t even roll his way to freedom. An elbow drop misses but Miz is fine enough to pull him down by the hair for two more.

Matt fights up with forearms to the face but gets caught with the running corner clothesline for another near fall. The chinlock goes on so Matt fights up with right hands and the clothesline. Matt’s middle rope elbow gets two and the Side Effect is good for the same. A right hand sets up the Twist of Fate (which Miz takes like a swinging neckbreaker) for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was a perfectly basic but nicely done match and I’ll absolutely take that. Above all else, Miz looked WAY more comfortable in there, even if Matt was probably walking him through every step. That’s why you put him in there with a veteran like Hardy. Well done here, and one of Miz’s most impressive performances, just because of how big a step forward it seemed to be.

Mark Henry is ready to hurt people and wants the World Title match at One Night Stand.

Here is MVP for his United States Championship celebration. In quite a few words, MVP says he told us so and now he’s right here as US Champion. Then he just flat out says “I told you so”. There is one thing missing from this celebration, so here is Chris Benoit to look really serious. MVP sticks out his hand and Benoit gives him a very firm shake but MVP goes into a bragging speech about beating Benoit two straight falls. Now he wants Benoit to raise his hand because he is better than Benoit on any given day. Instead it’s some rolling German suplexes to send MVP bailing.

We look at John Cena surviving against Great Khali at Judgment Day.

Maryse throws us to the Throw It On Me video.

Kane promises to win tonight.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Chavo Guerrero

Non-title. Yang takes him into the corner to start but Chavo slips away for a standoff. They fight over arm control until Chavo takes him down, only to get reversed into a headlock. Back up and Chavo dropkicks the knee out and starts cranking away on the leg. Yang fights up but gets pulled down into a stretch muffler. Make that a half crab as Chavo is at least mixing things up a bit. Back up and Yang hits an enziguri to start the comeback in a hurry. Chavo manages to grab the Three Amigos but the frog splash is broken up. Yang gets knocked away so Chavo tries a sunset bomb, which is reversed into a hurricanrana for the pin.

Rating: C-. I don’t care. This is the same thing that WWE has done for the better part of ever with this title and it isn’t going to change a freaking thing. The champ loses to set up a title match where the title is retained and it is forgotten days later as we start the whole thing over again. Both guys are completely acceptable in the ring but this is the most tired and played out idea WWE has had in years.

Batista promises to win.

Batista vs. Mark Henry vs. Finlay vs. Kane

The winner gets a title shot against Edge, on commentary, at One Night Stand in a cage. It’s a brawl to start with Batista and Henry fighting on the floor as the other two stay inside. We take a break and come back with everyone in the ring again until Kane and Finlay head outside. That leaves Henry to hit a quick World’s Strongest Slam on Batista with Finlay making the same.

Kane goes up top for a clothesline to put Henry down and Batista’s top rope shoulder hits Henry as well. That’s still not enough to keep Henry down as he fights up and hammers on Kane. Batista drops Henry and spinebusters Kane but Henry is back up again. Finlay is back in and cleans house with the Shillelagh but Batista is fine enough to hit the Batista Bomb for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C+. Take four monsters (or at least a good brawler in Finlay’s case) and have them hit each other over and over again. That’s what we got here and it was a solid way to set up the rematch. Batista had to get around Henry and the Shillelagh, plus the always dangerous Kane to get back at Edge. It feels like he had to do something here and the match worked.

Batista stares down at Edge to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Much like Raw, this felt like a bridge between pay per views, neither of which was all that important in the first place. The wrestling was mostly ok at best and they set things up, but it isn’t like any of this felt important. They need to get done with One Night Stand so we can move on to something fresh, because this crop of stories is pretty much out of gas.

 

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: May 18, 2007
Location: 1st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for Judgment Day and I’m not sure what that is going to entail. Everything was shaken up last week when Edge won the World Title from Undertaker, who seems to be going on the shelf. Edge is going to be defending against Batista on Sunday, meaning it’s time for the rapid fire build. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s cage match, Mark Henry’s return, and Edge’s Money in the Bank cash-in to take the title from Undertaker. That was a heck of a way to wrap up the night.

Opening sequence.

MVP vs. Matt Hardy

MVP grabs some headlock takeovers to start but gets armdragged away to give us a standoff. Some right hands put Hardy into the corner as commentary ignore the match to talk about Edge (it would be during a Matt match). A snapmare sets up the neck crank but Matt fights up in a hurry.

Matt drops MVP again and hits a middle rope legdrop for two as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled with this. MVP gets in a few kicks and drops an elbow for two, setting up the neck crank. That’s broken up and Matt hits an elbow of his own for two of his own. You don’t do that to MVP though as he kicks Hardy in the head to send him outside.

We take a break and come back with MVP getting some more near falls, setting up a running boot to the face in the corner for two more. Matt can barely stand up but the referee lets him continue, as the referee continues to not be that sympathetic. An uppercut drops Hardy as commentary is wanting the match to be stopped. MVP hits a fireman’s carry drop but somehow Matt is up with a Side Effect for two of his own. The bulldog out of the corner and a middle rope elbow get two each but MVP sends him into the post. The Playmaker is enough to finish Hardy.

Rating: C+. This was the kind of win that MVP has been needing as it made him look a lot more intense on the way to the (next) title match with Chris Benoit. MVP has not exactly been seen as a vicious guy so far and it’s nice to have him do something like this over an established name like Hardy. Good match with a good story, and that’s what they should have done.

Post match MVP talks about how the deck is stacked against him but beating Chris Benoit will only solidify his greatness.

We get a quick highlight reel of Edge’s World Title moments.

We see some exclusive footage from the after last week’s show, with druids carrying Undertaker away. There are various clips of the big beatdown/Undertaker’s career included.

Jimmy Wang Yang/Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. Deuce N Domino/Chavo Guerrero

London, with a goatee, starts with Chavo and snaps off a headscissors out of the corner. A rollup gives London one and it’s off to Yang for a high crossbody to Deuce. Domino offers a distraction though and Kendrick gets knocked down to put the villains in control for a change. Kendrick fights out of the corner in a hurry though and it’s off to Yang to clean house. Chavo cuts him off with a suplex but everything breaks down, with Yang hitting a top rope moonsault press for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. This feels like something that we’ve seen a dozen or so times in recent months. It was nice to mix up a pair of feuds instead of doing the singles deals again, but the Cruiserweight Champion taking another fall is hardly the most original idea. I’m sure Yang will get a short and technically sound title shot but it isn’t like it’s going anywhere further. Just find a new way to present the title and the division, because this isn’t helping anyone.

Mark Henry says this is a jungle and he has no predators because he is the king.

Mark Henry vs. Funaki

Funaki bounces off of him to start and is promptly hammered down. The World’s Strongest Slam finishes for Henry in about a minute. That’s how it should have gone.

Raw Rebound.

Finlay vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title. Feeling out process to start until Benoit just hits him in the face to turn violent. Finlay sweeps the leg and pulls on the knee a bit, even with Benoit chinlocking him from the mat. Benoit reverses into a chinlock so Finlay goes to the ropes, setting up a chinlock of his own. That’s broken up so they head outside with Benoit being sent knees first into the steps. Back in and Finlay goes right back to the knee, unfortunately with the same hold.

Benoit fights up again and avoids a charge in the corner, setting up the German suplex. The knee won’t let him hit another one though, meaning he has to settle for Three Amigos. It’s time to load up the Swanton but the knee slows Benoit down again, allowing Finlay to knock him off the apron for the crash. Back in and Finlay grabs another leglock to send us to a break.

We come back with more of the same hold until Benoit fights up again. Some chops don’t do much to Finlay who, say it with me, takes him down to work on the leg again. Benoit gets up again and hits an enziguri, setting up the rolling German suplexes. Cue Hornswoggle, who gets taken down for a Sharpshooter attempt. Finlay uses the distraction to grab the Shillelagh but Benoit reverses into the Crossface. Cue MVP for the DQ.

Rating: C. As soon as I saw Benoit vs. Finlay, my expectations went up. It’s one of those matches that should be pretty great no matter what they do, but then it just wasn’t very good. Most of the match was spent with Finlay working the leg, which is fine in theory but gets pretty repetitive in a hurry. The match was far from awful, but it was pretty boring and that’s not what you expect from these two.

Post match Benoit goes after MVP but Finlay gets in a Shillelagh shot to the knee. MVP leaves Benoit laying.

Ozzy Osborne is here to perform the Judgment Day theme song so Jillian Hall tries to audition for him.

Ashley introduces Ozzy Osborne for I Don’t Wanna Stop. Performing ensues and I’ll have the chorus stuck in my head all day.

We get another movie trailer for Edge’s inaugural address later tonight.

Miz vs. Christian York

Miz clotheslines him down to start but misses an elbow that takes its time being set up. Back up and Miz hits a running corner clothesline but pulls York up at two. A swinging neckbreaker finishes York in a hurry. This was the much more serious version of Miz and even JBL has to compliment him a bit.

Timbaland will have a music video featuring some WWE Divas.

Krystal thanks Teddy Long for giving Vickie Guerrero the chance to be his assistant. Vickie comes in so Krystal leaves, with Teddy saying he isn’t sure about this. He knows the history of the Guerrero family but Vickie wants the chance to change the perception about the family. After some sucking up about Krystal, Teddy agrees to give her the interview.

Another Edge video.

Kane vs. William Regal

Boogeyman, Little Boogeyman and Dave Taylor are here as I had no idea this feud went on for so long. Regal slugs away to start and actually strikes him down in a bit of a surprise. Some more shots keep Regal down and we hit the chinlock as JBL still seems to be scared of the Boogeyman.

Kane fights up and tries the chokeslam but is quickly countered into an exploder suplex. They slug it out until Kane kicks him in the face and scores with the side slam. The top rope clothesline connects but Taylor offers a distraction to give Regal a breather. Taylor throws Little Boogeyman inside but the distraction lets Kane hit a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C. This was another kind of weird match as Regal was nearly squashing him until Kane made his comeback. You don’t often see something like that but it was actually working well enough. Kane and Boogeyman are growing on me as the freak show pairing and it’s not like the tag division has any kind of depth otherwise, so why not see what they can do?

Worms are busted out post match.

Judgment Day rundown.

Teddy Long brings out Edge for his inaugural address. Edge says he’ll handle the introduction before saying that HE is YOUR World Heavyweight Champion. He is ashamed to be a Canadian citizen (but he would be ashamed to be American too) because he never gets any respect.

Another place he didn’t get any respect was on Raw, where he beat everyone but still didn’t get treated right. He’ll take on all comers here, which gets Long’s attention. Long reminds him of his upcoming title defense against Batista, which doesn’t bother Edge. He beat Undertaker in three seconds after Batista couldn’t do it in three months, so bring Batista on. Cue Batista to welcome Edge to Smackdown and promise to take the title back on Sunday.

Overall Rating: C. This was a bit of a weird show as Judgment Day was already set, save for the main event, so they had to cobble something together at the last second. Edge vs. Batista is the only choice they had for the spot and the match should work out. Other than that, it was a totally ho hum edition of the show, which is kind of surprising after what they have been doing as of late. Not bad, but things feel like they have hit a bit of a wall for both shows this week.

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 23, 1999
Location: Hilton Coliseum, Ames, Iowa
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Summerslam and in the surprise of the night, Mankind if the WWF Champion. That’s not the kind of thing you would expect to see, but then again this is 1999 WWF so oddities are a specialty. Steve Austin was attacked after the match was over, which should put him on the shelf for the time being. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a stills package of Mankind winning the WWF Title in a heck of a shock, plus the heck of a beatdown on Austin’s knee after the match.

Opening sequence.

Lawler welcomes us to the show, describing this as an action adventure series. That never sounds right.

JR is in the ring to interview Mankind but HHH and Chyna come out instead. HHH says there will be no celebration at his expense because he has been screwed over and over. It was supposed to be his moment because he became #1 contender. Then everything kept being taken away from him because the bar kept being raised. It happened time after time and once he got to Summerslam, he got a bogus referee who wouldn’t count a pin when he had a man beaten.

The fans chant for Austin and HHH goes on about how he had Austin beaten last night. The air came out from Austin’s soul and he was a beaten man, but it was a bunch of bull. Last night, HHH beat Austin within an inch of his life and now he’s laid on his back in a hospital bed with his legs in the air like a cheap prostitute. HHH remembers that Mankind and Austin are JR’s boys so he must be happy with what happened.

Well HHH is going to be happy right now, and he grabs JR in an armbar. He demands Mankind come out here right now or he’s snapping the thing. Cue Mankind but HHH says stop right there. The match is in a hurry….and HHH Breaks the arm anyway, as he should have. Mankind comes in to chase him off and says that since HHH broke his promise, he’s breaking his own: no title shot. Cue Shane McMahon to say oh yes the title shot is happening. So we just had a swerve into a swerve in the span of a minute and a half. It’s 1999 all right.

Michael Cole replaces JR.

Hardcore Title: Road Dogg vs. Al Snow

Dogg is challenging but Snow jumps him during the catchphrases (that’s evil). A chair shot puts Dogg on the floor and it’s time to unload with the weapons. Pepper the dog, in a pet carrier, watches as Snow loads up a table and Cole wonders why Pepper isn’t talking to Road Dogg (that was kind of funny). Snow tries to ride a ladder down onto Dogg on a table but only the ladder hits the table. Dogg puts Snow through the table but here is Chris Jericho to go after Dogg for the no contest.

Post match, Big Boss Man comes out to hit Snow with the nightstick and STEAL PEPPER!

We cut to the back where Chris Jericho and Road Dogg are still fighting but Boss Man comes by to deck Dogg. Boss Man throws Pepper in the back of a car and drives away, with Al Snow showing up to give chase.

Post break Snow is asking if anyone knows where Pepper is, apparently not having seen Boss Man leave. He wasn’t that far in front of him.

Tag Team Titles: Acolytes vs. Undertaker/Big Show

Undertaker/Big Show, with Paul Bearer, are defending with Kane/X-Pac on commentary. Of note, since Road Dogg did his own intro, Undertaker and Show’s intro marks the first ever introduction from the new ring announcer: Lilian Garcia. The Acolytes jump Show to start but he double clotheslines them down. A chop block slows Show down and Bradshaw drops him with a top rope shoulder, as Undertaker isn’t bothering to do anything. Faarooq goes after Undertaker and gets thrown over the announcers’ table for his effort. The brawl is on, with Kane and X-Pac getting involved for the DQ.

Post match X-Pac and Kane get double teamed, including Undertaker chairing the heck out of Kane.

Test asks Stephanie McMahon to stay in the back for a bit.

And now, the Blonde Bytch Project, a Blair Witch parody, featuring Blue Meanie and Stevie Richards. They go out to find the title character and that’s the end of the first episode.

Here is Test for a chat and we look at some stills of him beating Shane McMahon last night. He has been through a lot lately and if he had to do it again, he would. There comes a time when you have to ask some questions, and sometimes you have to pop one. Therefore, he would like Stephanie McMahon to come out here.

Cue a smiling Stephanie but Shane McMahon runs in almost immediately. Violence is teased but Stephanie says hold it because Andrew (egads) makes her happy. Why can’t Shane love his sister for who she is? Test pulls Stephanie away and drops to a knee for a rather fast proposal. Stephanie needs some time to think about it but she does love him. Everything seems to be ok.

Chris Jericho wants Howard Finkel (whose name he can’t remember) to do something to be like Jericho.

Here is the new Eurocontinental Champion, Jeff Jarrett, along with Debra and Mark Henry. Jeff is happy with how Mark Henry helped him against D’Lo Brown last night, so he has a gift for Henry: the European Title! Debra has a present too. As the boss of Jarrett Enterprises, she needs an assistant. Since she already has the puppies, here is the debuting Miss Kitty, which seems to work for Debra. As for Jeff himself, he has left an open contract for a title shot on the locker room door. Someone can go sign it so we can have a title match for later. We have a match now though.

Mark Henry vs. Meat

Hold on though as D’Lo Brown jumps Meat in the back and we have a replacement.

Mark Henry vs. D’Lo Brown

Non-title (I think). Brown hammers away to start but gets tossed up and onto his face. Henry misses the legdrop though, allowing Brown to hit one of his own. The Low Down connects but Jeff Jarrett comes in for the DQ.

Billy Gunn is looking for a pen and tells Chyna to watch the contract so no one can sign it. With Gunn gone, Chyna signs it herself. What a lying friend!

Post break, Billy can’t find Chyna and (jokingly, at least I think), calls her a b****.

The Rock vs. Gangrel

Gangrel has the New Brood, better known as the Hardy Boys, with him. Before the match, Rock says he’s ready to do various horrible things with Gangrel’s cup of blood. The brawl is on to start with Rock hammering away and hitting a clothesline out of the corner. Gangrel is smart enough to roll outside to avoid a worse beating and a New Brood distraction lets him takeover.

Back in and Rock hits a DDT for two and, after shrugging off Matt Hardy, sends Gangrel over the top. A quick necksnap across the top lets Gangrel get in a few shots but Jeff dives off the barricade to cut off Rock’s comeback. Cue Edge and Christian to go after the Hardys and Rock punches Gangrel down in the corner. The Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow finish in a hurry.

Rating: C-. I remember watching this match when I was a kid and it has always stuck with me. This wasn’t the start of a new story and it wasn’t going to go anywhere after the pin. What you got instead was a big star beating a lower level star, meaning neither of them are hurt. They kept it short and it was a watchable match, but it gave Rock something to do and Gangrel doesn’t lose anything (save for a match). Perfectly fine.

Post match the Rock says the WWF is trying to hold him back with people like Billy Gunn and Gangrel. He wants to be #1 contender and thinks it’s time to take matters into his own hands.

Howard Finkel is firing himself up because he’s “a warrior”.

Tori thinks Ivory has a humiliation fetish so let’s have an evening gown match on Smackdown. Yeah Smackdown debuts this Thursday and I believe this is the first mention of the show.

Here’s Howard Finkel to the Ultimate Warrior’s theme music to say that Chris Jericho is here to make this company better. There are some simpletons who don’t get it though, like the Road Dogg. Finkel calls Dogg out to explain what Y2J is all about. Cue Road Dogg, so Finkel shoves him a few times. That earns him a grab of the sweatshirt, but Chris Jericho comes through the crowd (after the full countdown) to beat Dogg down. Back to back powerbombs let Jericho pose on Dogg’s chest, complete with a C’MON BABY!

Billy Gunn is still looking for Chyna but HHH says don’t look too hard or you might find her.

Hardcore Holly is tired of his cousin Crash so he invites him to a battle of the super heavyweights.

Hardcore Holly vs. Crash Holly

Crash starts fast by dropkicking him out to the floor and they’re out in the crowd in a hurry. They wind up over by the sound equipment and then go backstage where both of them are whipped into various walls. Hardcore whips him into a ladder and they go outside to wrap this up. Not long enough to rate, but it wasn’t exactly a match anyway.

Steve Austin has suffered tendon and ligament damage in both knees thanks to HHH. Mankind comes in to say that HHH has done some stupid things in his quest to become a tough guy. He and Austin have never seen eye to eye but Austin has basically funded his retirement!

Al Snow is still distraught.

Mideon/Viscera vs. X-Pac/Kane

Paul Bearer, Big Show and Undertaker do commentary, including stealing Michael Cole’s headset. Lilian Garcia: “The following contest is scheduled for one round!” Mideon hammers on X-Pac to start so Kane comes in to take over instead. Cue the Acolytes down the ramp, with Undertaker calling them the phony tough and the crazy brave. Kane chokes Mideon on the mat as Bearer refers to himself as slender, with Undertaker not quite buying it.

Mideon manages to take him into the corner but Kane fights them off like they’re Mideon and Viscera. A Samoan drop puts Kane down for a good half second as he sits up, as Lawler asks if Big Show would ever stab Undertaker in the back. Undertaker: “King, you ever make another stupid comment like that and I’ll stab you in the face.” The hot tag brings in X-Pac to clean house with a Bronco Buster each. The Acolytes beat on Kane outside though, leaving Viscera to crush X-Pac behind. A splash is good enough to give Viscera the pin.

Rating: D+. That wasn’t the best one round match, if nothing else because they managed to have nine people involved in about four and a half minutes. That’s a very Russo deal, as he liked to have a lot of people running in and out, even if it might have been a bit much. You could have dropped either the Acolytes or the Undertaker/Big Show, but why do that when you can have EVERYONE?

Chris Jericho is thinking about giving Howard Finkel Smackdown.

Billy Gunn calls Chyna out for a less than friendly chat. Cue Chyna, with Gunn saying that he had a chance to be Intercontinental Champion, but she’s playing a game. Chyna says she isn’t playing and a brawl seems imminent, but here is Jeff Jarrett to hit Chyna with a guitar. Miss Kitty tries to give Jarrett another, only to have Gunn take it away and blast Jarrett instead.

We recap the WWF Title match being set up.

WWF World Title: HHH vs. Mankind

HHH is challenging and the Rock joins commentary. Rock: “Who’s booking this crap?” Cue Shane McMahon in a referee’s shirt so the fix can be even further in. Mankind knocks him down into the corner to start and hits the running knee to the face. That’s not even good for a one, as Shane is too busy shouting at the Rock. Mankind whips out Mr. Socko to take out Shane but has to backdrop his way out of a Pedigree attempt.

That means HHH can get Socko as well but here is Chyna, who gets a sock of her own. A double arm DDT plants HHH for a delayed two so they head outside to keep brawling. HHH whips Mankind into Chyna, who hiptosses him into the steps for a nasty crash. Back in and a neckbreaker gives HHH two, followed by a hard toss into the post.

There’s the jumping knee to the face (Rock: “Mankind sucks.”) into the knee drop but Mankind fights out of the corner. A running clothesline gets two and the Cactus Clothesline does what the Cactus Clothesline does. Shane is back up with a chair to Mankind, followed by HHH charring Mankind and the Rock for a bonus. The second referee is taken out and it’s the Pedigree to give HHH the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This was a brawl for the most part and that’s what it should have been. They needed to get to the HHH title reign somehow and that’s exactly what they did. Mankind didn’t feel like he had a chance to retain here and sometimes that is the right thing to do. This is the historic title change and it was the right time to do it.

The Peacock version include the Extra Attitude post show footage, including HHH going after Mankind again. Mankind fights back this time and Rock comes in to help beat up Shane. A double People’s Elbow connects and Rock goes up the ramp, leaving Mankind to hit his own People’s Elbow. Mankind joins Rock on stage and wants a hug but has to settle for a handshake. Rock comes back out, the two of them stare at HHH and Shane, and it’s another handshake into a hug. The villains get to pose on the stage to end the night.

Overall Rating: C. This is one of the better remembered shows from this era as it felt like something important actually happened. You don’t get that very often in this era, as so many of the things that take place come and go in the span of a few hours. The shows still go by so fast and there are a lot of things that don’t work, but it was nice to have a show that felt like it mattered for once and that was the case here, making it a little bit better.

 

 

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Summerslam 2013
Date: August 18, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,166
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is the show that was voted on for the annual redo and I can’t say I’m complaining. The show was instantly revered and it held up when I watched it the second time. We’ve got a double main event with Daniel Bryan challenging John Cena for the World Title and CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar in the Best vs. the Beast. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Rob Van Dam

Dean is defending and we still have the full Shield entrance (no Reigns/Rollins here) through the crowd, which is still just cool. A shoulder drops Rob to start and Dean grabs a hammerlock as it’s a slow pace early on. Rob clotheslines him into a headlock but charges into a boot to the face for two. A neckbreaker gives Dean the same and we hit the neck crank as we’re somehow four minutes into this.

Ambrose gets in a running dropkick and grabs a quickly broken chinlock. Rob kicks him down to set up the Five Star but Rollins and Reigns come through the crowd, rendering him completely incapable of jumping. Big Show and Mark Henry show up as well though, putting us all even as we as we take a break.

Back with Dean grabbing a chinlock and sending Rob outside. That means a staredown on the floor as Henry and Show earn those paychecks and DVD royalties. Rob drops Dean on the barricade and hits the spinning kick to the back. A rollup gives Rob two back inside but he walks into a good looking spinebuster for two. Dean misses a top rope elbow but Rob has to go after Rollins instead of Five Starring. Rolling Thunder crushes Dean and it’s Five Star time, only to have Reigns spear Rob down for the DQ at 13:38.

Rating: D+. This was a pretty sad way to start the show as you would expect a lot more from these two. Ambrose was a very natural arrogant heel but Rob was just going through the motions. It didn’t help that the big plot point, Show and Henry, did NOTHING here and Reigns interfered anyway. It’s never a good sign when you can completely take people out of a match and it changes nothing but that was the case here. Really disappointing outing.

And now on to the mai…..IT’S LESS THAN THREE HOURS!!! Oh sweet goodness happy days are here again!

Here’s the Miz, your host for the evening and still a face here, to open things up. He explains the two main events, just in case people stumbled in here expecting a free car wash. Fandango and Summer Rae (dang) cut him off and dance around him. Miz: “Really? Really?” Anyway, welcome to Summerslam.

The opening video talks about how the stars are out tonight and has a bit of a grainy look to it for a unique visual. As you might expect, the two main events receive most of the attention. Of note: the instrumental background music would become Akira Tozawa’s theme.

JoJo sings the National Anthem, which was a plot point on Total Divas because Total Divas is creatively bankrupt.

Kane vs. Bray Wyatt

This is a Ring of Fire match, meaning the ring is surrounded by fire like an inferno match but you win by regular means. It’s also Wyatt’s in-ring debut, which is kind of gobsmacking. Kane unloads on him in the corner to start as the arena is much darker than usual to show off the flames. A clothesline drops Wyatt and the flames go over the top rope.

Kane gets in a suplex for the same result as Luke Harper and Erick Rowan are panicking on the floor. The fact that they’re there more or less guarantees they find a way to interfere, thereby making the gimmick worthless. Wyatt hits a running splash in the corner and hammers away on the mat. A big boot to the…..arm maybe drops Wyatt and there’s the sidewalk slam for no cover.

Harper tries to grab a kendo stick but it gets caught on fire, sending an overzealous fireman to put it out. Rowan takes his extinguisher but can’t get rid of the flames. The chokeslam plants Wyatt for no cover as Kane would rather do it again, likely so Harper and Rowan can figure out a way inside. They find a fireproof….something and get inside for the big beatdown. Rowan splashes Kane and Sister Abigail gives Bray the pin at 7:48.

Rating: F+. This was WAY worse than I remember as it was literally just killing time until the ending. The ending was as telegraphed as it could have been and there was never any drama. Instead of actually having a match, this was a mental exercise for the Family and that’s REALLY not how you want to debut someone with the kind of potential Wyatt has.

Post match the Wyatts crush Kane with the steps and carry him off to film See No Evil 2.

The Kickoff Show panel wastes a minute of our time.

We see a Paul Heyman promo on the Kickoff Show, talking about how in reality, David would have thrown a stone at Goliath and then taken the beating of a lifetime. As a bonus, tonight’s match is No DQ.

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

They used to be partners until Sandow won the Money in the Bank briefcase (it’s still the brown one which looks like a Hershey bar) in the surprise for the sake of swerving the fans who KNEW Cody was going to win (which he was). Before the match, Sandow says he was the leader of the Rhodes Scholars and tonight, he’s sending Cody back to the Rhodes Family so they can be dumb and dumber. Cole’s big plug for the entrances: watch the JBL and Cole Show to find out why Cody shaved his mustache!

They start fast with Sandow shoving him into the corner but getting backdropped. The gordbuster gives Cody two but a legsweep sends him outside. Back in and some knees to the back set up a bow and arrow hold. Sandow has to fight out of an early Cross Rhodes attempt and drops the Wind Up Elbow for two. I know Sandow has the charisma but dang it’s not working in the ring.

Sandow puts on a standing leglock for a few moment before switching to just rubbing Cody’s face in the mat. Cody catches him on the top though and it’s something like a Muscle Buster for two. A springboard missile dropkick gets two on Sandow but he comes right back with a running flip neckbreaker for the same. Cody nails the Disaster Kick for the near fall, followed by Cross Rhodes for the pin at 6:39.

Rating: C+. They were working hard out there and had a good match but it’s very clear that Sandow is in WAY over his head with the briefcase. I don’t think anyone really bought him as a main eventer at this point and his pretty worthless TNA run doesn’t exactly change the theory that it was the stunt double gimmick that was so good and not him.

Video on Christian, who is back for one more run at the World Title.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Christian is challenging. Del Rio has Lillian Garcia introduce him in Spanish, which isn’t quite a heel move in a major Hispanic market. Alberto grabs a headlock but gets slapped for his efforts, followed by the back of the neck snap across the top rope. That’s fine with him though as he puts Christian on the top for a heck of a running enziguri to put Christian in the Tree of Woe.

Del Rio starts in on the arm by sending it into the barricade and it’s off to an early armbar. A top rope double stomp to the shoulder makes it even worse, but not as bad as it would be with the top rope double stomp out of the Tree of Woe. The champ misses a charge though and crashes out to the floor to give Christian a breather. Back in and Del Rio dives into a raised boot, followed by a middle rope missile dropkick for no cover. The high crossbody gets two but Christian is holding the arm.

It’s too early for the Killswitch so Christian goes up, only to get pulled off the middle rope with a Backstabber in a cool spot. A middle rope backsplash doesn’t work for the champ but he’s still able to block the spear (which Christian should NEVER use) with a dropkick. Del Rio takes down his kneepad but gets rolled up for two more. Now the spear connects, only to have the shoulder give out. That means a cross armbreaker and Christian taps (rather surprising) at 12:30.

Rating: B. I had a lot more fun with this than I was expecting, which I think is what I said when I watched this the first time around too. Christian was a great choice for a challenger at this level as he’s going to have a good match no matter what. Unfortunately this was about it for him as he would only wrestle a few more matches in 2013, then come back for another short run to start the new year, ending with a concussion that caused his retirement. It’s a shame, but probably for the best as you don’t want to mess with that area.

Post match Del Rio says the Mexican people need an idol and his name is Alberto Del Rio.

Clips from Summerslam Axxess, which has never come close to matching the Wrestlemania version.

Miz (oh yeah he’s here) talks to Maria Menunos, who won in a tag match at Axxess. Fandango and Summer Rae dance in again but this time Miz and Maria show them up with some dancing of their own. Did you know Maria Menunos of some entertainment show is here? If you don’t, you will when this is all over that show.

Natalya vs. Brie Bella

No story of note here, but Cole introduces the two of them as “some of the stars of Total Divas”. Just in case you thought Summerslam was the point here. Naturally more cast members are at ringside and sweet goodness I forgot how annoying this era was for the women. Feeling out process to start as Natalya tries to do any kind of wrestling with Brie. They finally go with the slapping until Natalya sends her outside for a baseball slide. The JBL and MICHAEL COLE chants start up and there’s the JERRY chant to complete the trio.

Brie grabs a chinlock and the fans want tables. A jawbreaker gets Natalya out of trouble and she grabs the Sharpshooter until Brie slips out and sends her hard into the corner. We get the required catfight on the floor and it’s time for a Zack Ryder chant. The yet to be named BRIE MODE knee seems to wake Natalya up as it’s the Sharpshooter to make Brie tap at 5:18.

Rating: D-. The match could have been so much worse but the story, or lack thereof, had this thing doomed from the start. This was back at the start of the Total Divas era and fans hadn’t gotten sick of the show yet. They don’t get along on Total Divas for whatever nonsense reason the writers have come up with so here’s a short match between them. Not horrible but sweet goodness could we please get the tiniest bit of effort?

Earlier today, Ryback poured soup on a catering worker.

We recap CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar and I begin to smile. This is mainly about Punk vs. Paul Heyman, who had been Punk’s supporter for years. Then Punk started to change his attitude and told Heyman that he wanted to do this by himself. That wasn’t cool with Heyman, who cost him the Money in the Bank ladder match. Punk went after Heyman so Brock Lesnar returned to be Heyman’s muscle. The match was set with the great tagline “The Best vs. The Beast.” Do you need much more than that?

CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar

No DQ. I know I say this a lot but Brock Lesnar coming down the aisle is one of the scariest sights in wrestling. Punk charges right at him and gets driven into the corner for some shoulders. A hard whip sends Punk into a different corner as the fans are trying to stay behind him. Punk’s strikes have almost no effect (Punk not being able to strike with an MMA guy? I’m sure that won’t be an even bigger joke three years later.) and Brock easily stomps him down in the corner.

Punk gets in a kick to the jaw and a pair of running knees knock Lesnar outside for a suicide dive. That’s exactly the kind of hope spot that the fans needed to get back into this but Lesnar cuts them off by slamming the steps, which are in Punk’s hands, straight into Punk’s face. Punk posts him though and scores with the clothesline off the barricade, only to make the mistake of going after Heyman.

One heck of a toss sends Punk over the announcers’ table as there’s not much of a way around that kind of power. That’s not good enough though as Brock throws him over the other table, just so it won’t feel left out. Lesnar jumps into a stomp onto a piece of the table onto Punk before sending him flying off a belly to belly (leaving a big sweat stain on the floor).

Back in and Lesnar fires off more shoulders to the ribs and we hit the bearhug. An elbow to the nose staggers Brock for a bit but he knees Punk hard in the ribs to put him down again. It’s back to the bearhug as they’re doing a good job with cutting off the hope spots. Punk kicks away but dives right into a fall away slam to cut him off again. A chinlock lasts for a little while until Punk fights up and bites the ear to escape.

Punk FINALLY drops him with a series of kicks and the running knee in the corner makes it even worse. Lesnar catches a running knee but Punk escapes and high kicks him down, setting up the Macho Elbow (looked awful, almost more like a sideways splash) for a pretty hot two. Neither finisher can connect so Punk kicks him in the head again and Brock goes down from a single shot. You don’t see that every day.

The GTS is countered into the Kimura but that’s reversed into a cross armbreaker and then a triangle choke. A powerbomb doesn’t break the hold so Brock lifts him up again, shrugs off the elbows to the head and PLANTS Punk with a running powerbomb. The fans are INSANE for Punk but Brock cuts them off with the most vicious Three Amigos you’ll ever see. Brock very slowly heads outside to grab a chair so Punk dives onto him, only to land on the chair, which lands on Lesnar to put both of them down.

It’s Punk up first with the chair though and he wears Brock out….until Lesnar just takes it away from him. That’s fine with Punk as a low blow gets him out of trouble (Punk: “WHERE’S YOUR CUP NOW UFC BOY???”) and freaks Heyman out all over again. Punk takes the chair up top and drops something like a Macho Elbow for two more. A few more chair shots have Lesnar in trouble until Heyman takes it away.

Punk grabs Heyman’s tie to block the F5 (smart) and it’s the GTS but Heyman makes the save for the false finish of the year. Reality sets in on Heyman (as only it can) and he realizes there’s no Brock to save him. Punk gives chase but runs into the F5, which he counters into a tornado DDT for two more. The Anaconda Vice goes on but Punk lets it go to cut Heyman off. A big right hand drops Paul, only to have Lesnar BLAST Punk with the chair. The F5 onto the chair finally ends Punk at 25:18.

Rating: A+. I gave this Match of the Year and I’m certainly not changing that now. This was a total war with Punk shocking the heck out of me by taking Lesnar to the limit. If nothing else, this is the textbook example of how to book Lesnar vs. a smaller guy. You even have Punk saving some face by having Heyman interfere so often. It’s an outstanding match and easily holds up four years later.

As I mentioned a few times, Punk was giving the fans just enough hope spots to keep things going. No one was going to buy Punk hanging in a fist fight with him (nor should they have bought it with HHH but that’s a long issue for another time) but they could buy him getting in a few shots here and there and giving it all he had. That’s wrestling storytelling in a nutshell and it was as entertaining as it could have been. If not for Punk vs. Cena in 2011, this would be Punk’s WWE masterpiece.

Punk pulls himself up and gets the hero’s ovation. It’s a shame that he would be gone in four months.

A fan agreed to trade tickets to a house show for three tickets to Summerslam and Summerslam Axxess if he took a splash from Mark Henry. Oh and he gets to sit ringside (meaning in front of the announcers’ tables for the next match). Well gee I wonder if that’s a hard decision.

Big E. Langston/AJ Lee vs. Dolph Ziggler/Kaitlyn

Former partners/couple who split up and absolutely no one is interested here. The guys start things off and it’s an early belly to belly to drop Ziggler. We hit an early abdominal stretch with a stomach claw thrown in as a bonus. Ziggler comes back with a dropkick and the too early to be a hot tag brings in the women. AJ spin kicks Kaitlyn down for two and it’s off to a cravate.

Back to back neckbreakers give AJ….an opportunity to dance around the ring, allowing Kaitlyn to kick her away. The hot tag brings in Dolph for another dropkick and his jumping elbows. Big E. is right back up with a powerbomb backbreaker for two with Kaitlyn making a save. A charge hits post though and Kaitlyn spears AJ in half on the floor. The Big Ending is countered and the Zig Zag gives Dolph the pin at 6:42.

Rating: D+. They didn’t have time to do much here and were in the death spot, which doesn’t work very well when they’re doing a TV match. It’s not terrible or anything and Kaitlyn spearing AJ is always entertaining. They were still getting ready to launch the Women’s Revolution down in NXT so this was about as good as you were going to get from the women at this point. Big E. vs. Ziggler kept going for a good while but never went anywhere, which is why New Day was the best thing that could have happened to Langston.

Fandango interrupts Miz again and finally gets punched out.

The Kickoff Show panel goes over their main event picks and talk about some of the show.

We recap John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan. Daniel had been on the roll of a lifetime and Cena was allowed to pick his challenger for Summerslam. Cena selected Daniel Bryan but Vince McMahon was suddenly against Bryan as the top star. It was clearly Bryan vs. the establishment and as a bonus, HHH will be guest referee for the title match. I’m sure nothing will come of it.

Bryan vs. Cena was built up as a big fight as well with Bryan calling Cena a phony who wasn’t here for the wrestling. Cena said he’s had his share of great matches but he’s had them while holding the WWE World Title. Bryan is the best competition around but the best isn’t going to be good enough.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is challenging, Cena has a baseball sized amount of fluid in his elbow which is going to force him to leave almost immediately after this show, and HHH is guest referee. Cena headlocks him to the mat to start but Bryan armdrags him off. The test of strength drives Bryan down again but Cena can’t break his bridge in an impressive (and surprising) power display. The threat of a YES Lock sends Cena bailing out to the floor and we take a breather.

Back in and Bryan easily takes him down for a surfboard, only to have Cena kick him away without much effort. Cena kicks him into the steps and suplexes him off the steps for good measure. If quiets the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants for a few seconds but they’re quickly replaced by the YOU STILL SUCK chants. At least they’re consistent in their hatred. Back in and Cena powers him away again before countering a hurricanrana attempt with a sitout powerbomb.

We hit the chinlock for a bit until Cena powers up and fires off some kicks in the corner. Cena fights up again and tries the finishing sequence, only to have the Shuffle broken up with a kick to the face. The second attempt works a bit better though and is good for two but Bryan kicks him in the eye again. Cena is starting to sport a black eye but Bryan wisely starts going after the arm. A quick STF attempt is countered into an STF from Bryan but Cena makes the ropes.

The AA is countered straight into the YES Lock and Cena is in trouble. He powers out again so Bryan slaps on a guillotine as Cena just can’t shake him off for good. The hold is finally broken and Bryan is a bit surprised, allowing Cena to grab a quick AA for two. Cena heads up but Bryan is right there again with a superplex. Bryan hangs on and pulls himself back up for the Swan Dive and a very near fall.

The suicide dive is blocked with a hard forearm and now the top rope Fameasser is good for two. With a one and one record up top, Cena tries it again, this time loading Bryan up for a super AA. Bryan tries a super hurricanrana to counter but Cena counters into what looked like an attempt at a Styles Clash, only to drop Bryan SQUARE ON HIS HEAD with a scary sounding thud.

The STF goes on but breaks down a bit with Cena winding up on his side, allowing Bryan to flip over into the YES Lock. Cena makes the rope again so Bryan goes back to the strikes with the running corner dropkicks. That’s fine with Cena, who turns Bryan inside out with the hard clothesline. NOW the fans are into both guys and there’s no reason for them to not be.

They slug it out until a double clothesline puts both guys down for another breather. Cena slaps Bryan hard in the face so Bryan does the same right back but Cena powers him up for the AA. That’s countered into a hard DDT though and Cena is in trouble again. One heck of a kick to the head drops Cena and Bryan debuts the running knee for the pin and the title in a shocking finish at 26:55.

Rating: A+. Yeah this worked too. The fact that Bryan pinned him clean was the completely correct call as the win is what matters, not the title itself. Bryan looks like the biggest star in the world now and this is confirmation that WWE sees him as a top name. The fact that it was an outstanding match helps things even better, but that ending is still perfect. Bryan beat Cena down and then hit a finisher to pin him. What else could he possibly ask for? Well, save for what came at Wrestlemania of course but sweet goodness this was outstanding stuff.

Cena stares Bryan down but shakes his hand. Pyro and confetti go off….and here’s Mr. Money in the Bank Randy Orton. Randy holds up the case at ringside so Bryan says bring it. Orton turns around and walks away, leaving HHH (who called the match right down the line and was a complete non-factor) to turn on Bryan and lay him out with the Pedigree.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Faster than I can type Orton is challenging (ok not really), he wins the title at 8 seconds.

The crowd is eerily quiet as HHH hands Orton the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. Everything that needed to be great was WAY beyond great and everything else was as forgettable (and thankfully short) as it needed to be. The whole thing that matters here are two matches combining for over fifty minutes (remember that it’s less than three hours long) and they’re both instant Match of the Year candidates. This show is an absolute classic and well worth checking out for the last great pre-Network shows.

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: B-

2014 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: D+

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

Original: D+

2014 Redo: D

2017 Redo: F+

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: C

2014 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C+

Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Original: B+

2014 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B

Brie Bella vs. Natalya

Original: F

2014 Redo: D-

2017 Redo: D-

Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk

Original: A+

2014 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

Big E. Langston/AJ Lee vs. Dolph Ziggler/AJ Lee

Original: C-

2014 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: D+

Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

Original: A+

2014 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: N/A

2014 Redo: N/A

2017 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: A-

2014 Redo: A

2017 Redo: A-

What is up with that opener? I really liked it that much earlier on?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/18/summerslam-2013-a-star-is-born/

And the 2014 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/08/16/summerslam-count-up-2013-2014-redo-what-a-difference-a-year-makes/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 2013
Date: August 18, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

Pre-Show: US Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Dean Ambrose

Dean is making a rare defense here after Rob won a battle royal or something. Feeling out process to start with Dean saying bring it on. They trade hammerlocks until Rob nails a running shoulder and a kick to the jaw. Rob hammers away in the corner but runs into a boot to give Dean control. A neckbreaker gives Ambrose a two count and the fans are split on who they like best.

Back with Dean dropping an elbow for two and putting on a cross face chicken wing of all things. Rob is sent outside and the four seconds have a standoff. Dean goes out to get Rob and winds up getting caught by the spinning kick to the back for two. A spinning legdrop gets the same for Van Dam but he walks into a spinebuster. Dean misses a middle rope elbow but a Shield distraction lets him get two off a rollup. Rolling Thunder sets up the Five Star but Reigns spears Van Dam for the DQ.

The opening video focuses o how awesome Los Angeles is as well as the double main events. The overblown voiceover really works.

Jojo from Total Divas sings the National Anthem.

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

The expert panel (Booker T., Shawn Michaels and Vickie Guerrero) chat about what we just saw and make some main event predictions.

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Sandow screwed over his friend Cody to become Mr. Money in the Bank and Rhodes is ticked off. On the way to the ring, Damien talks about famous teams and says there has always been a leader and a sidekick. Cody has recently shaved off his mustache and Cole tells us we can find out why he has done so on Friday on Youtube. Seriously.

Sandow charges at him to start and hammers away in the corner but Cody comes back with a backdrop to take over. The release gordbuster gets two for Cody but Damien hammers away on him in the corner and cranks on the arms. The Wind-Up Elbow gets two and we hit an old school Edgecator (kneeling Sharpshooter) to Cody.

World Heavyweight Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Alberto breaks up a top rope hurricanrana and ties Christian in the Tree of Woe for some stomping. Back to the floor with Christian being sent into the barricade to start the arm work. A release flapjack and a kick to the head allows Del Rio to wrap the arm around the ropes. Christian sends him back outside and hits a big plancha to take the champion down, followed by a missile dropkick back inside.

WWE loves the National Guard.

Video on Axxess from earlier today. Maria Menunos had a match and talks to Miz about how awesome that was. Fandango and Summer Rae interrupt with some more dancing, triggering a dance from Maria and Miz.

Natalya vs. Brie Bella

Ryback harassed a catering guy earlier in the day.

Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk

Oh and one more thing: SCREW YOU HHH FOR WASTING BROCK FOR A YEAR FOR YOUR STUPID EGO. Seriously, a year of this lost for that “trilogy” nonsense with HHH winning the big match on the biggest stage before letting Brock get his win back in a totally forgotten cage match. Lucky us.

Punk gets the well deserved standing ovation.

Dolph Ziggler/Kaitlyn vs. Big E. Langston/AJ Lee

Miz gets cut off by Fandango and Summer again, finally causing Miz to knock him out.

The expert panel makes their World Title match picks.

WWE Title: Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

Post match Cena is upset but hands Bryan the title and raises his hand with no violence.

WWE Title: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Orton is champion in 8 seconds.

The new heel forces pose to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. Dean Ambrose

Original:

Redo: B-

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

Original: D+

Redo: D

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: C

Redo: D+

Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Original: B+

Redo: B

Brie Bella vs. Natalya

Original: F

Redo: D-

Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Big E. Langston/AJ Lee vs. Kaitlyn/Dolph Ziggler

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Overall Rating:

Original: A-

Redo: A

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/18/summerslam-2013-a-star-is-born/