Summerslam 2011
Date: August 14, 2011
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

It’s the biggest party of the summer. Wait that was another ad campaign. It’s Summerfest! No wait that’s a Piven botch. It’s Punk vs. Cena II. Well actually more like their 8^th match but the second PPV main event. Seriously that’s the extent of the hype for this show. There’s also Christian vs. Orton V or whatever but that’s really minor by comparison. There’s also a mini concert because those have worked oh so well before right? Let’s get to it.

The guitarist from Tool plays a rock version of the Star Spangled Banner. He’s no Man Mountain Rock.

The opening video is about how we’re in LA and LA is awesome. This is like the 4^th year in a row it’s been in LA. Might be three but still that’s a ton. There’s another video about how there’s a domino effect in the Punk vs. Cena war. That Bright Lights Bigger City song is growing on me a bit.

Here’s Miz to open the show and he’ll be in a six man tag. He first has something to say. Why am I not surprised? He says he’s returned to Summerslam and wants to thank the fans for insisting he competes tonight. Miz is cut off by Truth who talks about spiders. They start with the letter S, as does Summerslam. Singing also starts with an S and Cee Lo Green is singing tonight. You know what else starts with a C? CONSPIRACY!!! Del Rio cuts him off to save our sanity.

The Miz/Alberto Del Rio/R-Truth vs. Kofi Kingston/Rey Mysterio/John Morrison

Well they had to fill in the card with something. Del Rio gets a face reaction from the Hispanic heavy crowd. Kofi has white shorts now. Morrison, the hometown boy, gets NOTHING. We get a recap of Rey getting jumped by Miz on Monday. The rest of the feuds I think you know. The bell rings almost 15 minutes into the show. Miz vs. Kofi to start us off. There’s a Miz is Awesome chant.

Big monkey flip and a dropkick put Miz down. Off to Morrison and we get double flapjacks/double nipups. Nice fast paced stuff to start so far. Off to Truth vs. Morrison and Truth isn’t afraid anymore. There’s the springboard spin kick (Moonlight Drive I think? It’s the same one Cody uses for the most part) but it only gets two. The heels cheat (EVIL!) and send Morrison to the floor to shift momentum.

Off to Miz who hooks a chinlock which eats up some time. Morrison fights out of it with something resembling a Pele kick (ala AJ) and it’s warm tag Kofi. That cross body is SWEET. Miz takes him down and every heel not named Alberto works him over. Time for Kofi to imitate a long haired blonde guy from the 80s who thought he could sing named Morton for a good while.

We’re just waiting on the hot tag to Rey at this point. And yep there it is. The seated kick to Truth gets two. 619 is broken up and a second is as well. Rey makes up for that by hitting one to Truth and Miz at the same time. Everything breaks down and the faces all start diving like a broke boxer in Vegas. The ring is cleared and Rey hits the top rope splash on Truth for the pin at 9:30.

Rating: B-. Solid opener here which was very fast paced. That’s exactly what the opening match is supposed to be. You had to get a bunch of these guys on the show somehow and this is as good a way as any. I like these random tag matches because you combine feuds and manage to get a fun match too. Not everything needs to have some epic backstory to it to be a good match and this is proof of it. Good stuff.

Johnny Ace demands a public apology from Punk for getting kicked in the head. Well Ace is certainly annoying already so he’s doing his job. Punk mockingly apologizes and Ace leaves. Punk turns around and there’s the still hot Stephanie. She says HHH, Cena and Vince have all wished him good luck. He kind of says she’s brainless and she offers him a handshake anyway. “I would but I know where that hand has been.”

Recap of Henry vs. Sheamus which is basically about Sheamus being the only guy willing to fight Henry. That’s still a cool moment.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

I can’t imagine this going long. Sheamus gets in a few shots early on but then the beating begins. Henry hammers on Sheamus and we head to the floor where Henry gorilla presses Sheamus into the ring through the top and middle ropes. That was kind of awesome. Splash gets two. There’s a backbreaker and now an over the shoulder body vice.

The pale one fights out of it and manages to take Henry down for a moment. Emphasis on the moment aspect though as Henry takes him down again. The Vader Bomb misses though and Sheamus starts his comeback. A flying axehandle puts him on the mat and Sheamus starts dropping some knees. He fires off the forearms to the chest when Henry is caught in the ropes.

Sheamus hits the ropes and they collide, sending both guys down for a few seconds. The Irishman hits a top rope shoulder block for two. The cord is of course hot here because it’s LA and it’s a wrestling town. Sheamus pounds his chest but the Brogue Kick misses. Henry tries the World’s Strongest Slam but Sheamus counters and the Brogue Kick sends Henry to the floor. He’s out cold and dead weight now. Naturally since Sheamus is a face now he goes after him and is rammed back first into the post and then through the barricade which explodes. It’s a countout win by Henry at 9:20.

Rating: C. Well it’s Sheamus vs. Mark Henry. What were you expecting here other than power vs. power? This could probably lead to a gimmick match down the line which I wouldn’t be opposed to seeing. They backed themselves into a corner with the booking here though and it was pretty obvious that they weren’t going to do a clean ending here, which is understandable.

Christian is in the back with a big smile on his face. He has an insurance policy and the entire WWE is the beneficiary. Anything goes and we’re in LA, which means the match is going to be like a summer blockbuster like Harry Potter. Well that’s better than a Buff Blockbuster I guess. Oh Christian is Potter while Orton is Cowboys and Alience. I haven’t seen that yet so I can’t make a joke there.

Ad for some movie.

Time to kill off any momentum we had built up in the first 45 minutes with a performance by Cee Lo Green. Since one song wasn’t enough, here’s another with some dancing Divas. Well we’ve just lost 5 minutes of my life.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

Eve and Nattie are here as seconds. Kelly looking good in the tiny white shorts and Beth in the blue skirt thing. Kelly uses speed to take over and does her gymnastics stuff. I can’t complain about an upskirt shot of Beth. Kelly dives off the middle rope to the floor. That looked decent. Beth remembers that she’s Beth Phoenix and she’s fighting Kelly Kelly so she gets a gorilla hot shot for two. Booker and Jerry as for a wardrobe malfunction. Off to a chinlock as Cole says he’s turned off by Kelly over some photoshopping thing.

Beth hooks an over the shoulder backbreaker but Kelly escapes into a neckbreaker for two. Kelly gets put in the Tree of Woe but escapes via gymnastics. This is kind of stop and go match. Kelly gets all fired up and slams Beth’s head into the mat a few times to come back. She looks spent though. Handspring elbow is caught into the Glam Slam and Kelly rolls through for the pin at 6:20. Yes, that just happened totally clean.

Rating: C+. Given what I was expecting, this was a miracle. It’s nothing great or anything but they tried out there. It’s pretty easily Kelly’s best match ever and that’s not covering a lot but they worked hard and it came off pretty well. I totally don’t get the ending but the plastic chick going over in Hollywood makes sense.

Stephanie comes out of Cena’s locker room.

Jimmy freaking Hart of all people is with R-Truth and says he needs a manager. Truth realizes something: JIMMY IS LITTLE! HE’S LITTLE JIMMY!!! Truth scares him off and talks about the conspiracy, yelling at Ron Artest and his daughter who are just chilling in the back for no apparent reason.

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

Mat stuff to start with Barrett in control. Booker talks about Bryan having his lunch today. We had breakfast talk on Friday and now this? Jerry calls Barrett a carnivore which is a decent enough line. SICK looking arm hold into a pin attempt by Bryan. Cole is way off tonight, calling Barrett the submission specialist and thinking Bryan was the carnivore Jerry was talking about.

Cross body gets two for Bryan. There’s a dragon screw legwhip which has Dusty Rhodes freaking out I’m sure. Running dropkick in the corner gets two and it’s surfboard time. Here come the kicks as Bryan channels his inner Rockette. Barrett gets a shot in and takes over again. This has been a match of varying streaks which is usually a formula for good stuff.

Barrett gets a slingshot (thing Blanchard) backbreaker for two and it’s off to a chinlock. The British dude keeps expanding his arsenal with a flying forearm for two. Oh and Bryan has a much shorter haircut now. Barrett gets sent to the floor with a dropkick and a running knee square to the head. That looked SICK. Back inside now and the pumphandle slam is countered into more kicks. Bryan is speeding things up and taking over now.

HARD kicks to the chest but Barrett won’t go down. Ok a big one to the head puts him down. I think he kicked the British out of him. Now Barrett takes over again and loads up Wasteland but Bryan elbows out of it and throws on the guillotine. That doesn’t work and it’s off to the LeBell Lock but Barrett makes the rope. I thought that was the end. This is getting some time too. They go up to the corner and Bryan gets crotched. Barrett gets a middle rope lariat to the crotched Bryan and now he loads Wasteland, which is enough for the clean pin at 11:45.

Rating: B. Match of the night here by far and it was good stuff. They went back and forth hard here and it let both guys showcase themselves really well. Bryan losing here is ok because he didn’t look bad at all. You can lose and not look bad and this is a great example of that. Good match here and I was way into it near the end.

The California National Guard is here.

We recap Christian vs. Orton. Basically Christian played up Orton’s anger management and got him to snap long enough to lose the title at Money in the Bank. Tonight it’s no holds barred. And remember Christian has promised a surprise insurance policy.

The champ comes out first which is odd. He has a mic and says he’s a man of his words. The insurance policy…..IS EDGE???? His haircut is a little weird but he looks about the same. A bit skinnier though which is expected. If I didn’t have to hit the gym every day I certainly wouldn’t.

Edge says that he’ll never be able to wrestle again but he was happy when he left because he was able to pass the torch to Christian. He thought the first defense against Orton was unfair but then Christian started complaining a lot. Christian did win the title back but he did it by disqualification. Edge did a lot of weak things but he did it with style and was never boring.

He didn’t hide behind suits and clipboards. No Edge you hid behind Vickie. Somewhere along the lines Christian became a disgrace to himself. Christian knows he’s better than that but now he’s just a whiner. With that, Edge leaves to a nice ovation. And heeeeeeeeere’s Randy!

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

No holds barred remember. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Opening slugout is won by Orton and he hammers the Canadian down in the corner. Christian gets that reverse guillotine thing of his and a jumping back elbow (love that move) gets two. Back body drop sets up the Garvin Stomp and a knee drop for two. They have a ton of time here.

The psychology is working here because they’ve had like 5 matches beforehand to get each others’ moves down, meaning the counters make a lot more sense. Elevated DDT is blocked into a backdrop to the floor. Orton loads up the table but the RKO is counter. Christian grabs the belt and heads into the crowd. The GM computer is there but it hasn’t been used in weeks.

Orton catches him in the crowd and hammers away. Back to ringside now and Christian finds a kendo stick to pound on Orton. He chokes away and shouts a lot and gets two. Christian charges at him in the corner and gets rolled up into a VERY close two count. Spinebuster gets two for the champion. Orton fires off a dropkick to block a kendo stick shot from the middle rope.

Randy is bleeding from the mouth a bit. He starts his finishing sequence and there’s the powerslam. Now he’s got the stick but Christian gets his feet up to break that up. Middle rope dropkick is countered into a jackknife cover for two for Randy. Thesz Press takes Christian down but Christian counters into the Killswitch. That is countered into the backbreaker for two.

Orton grabs some tables from under the ring but Christian spears him into the railing. Cole recaps the show in case someone is flipping through the PPV channels and wants to see if they’re watching the right show they bought I suppose. There’s a table set up at ringside and one in the ring not set up. Orton superplexes Christian onto the unset table but might have hut his tailbone. It only gets two anyway.

The table is already broken but Orton puts it in the corner anyway. Yes slap a cracked table with some of the legs already broken. Nothing could go wrong with that idea. Christian counters the toss into it and hits the reverse DDT. He loads up the spear but Orton jumps over him. RKO is countered and we go back to the floor. Christian goes into the steps and does a nice flip over them.

Now Christian puts Orton’s head into the steps so Randy is going to take a little nap now. Edge’s former brother but now his best friend for life because kayfabe is more powerful than blood drills him with the monitor and I think he says RKO. Christian tries an RKO but Randy has fought the Undertaker a few times so he counters into the RKO of his own and both guys are down.

The fans say this is awesome and they’re getting there. Back in the ring and Orton tries another RKO but Christian counters into the Killswitch for a LONG two. The fans thought it was over. The Spanish announcers are trying to get back on the air which is a funny visual. Christian has a chair now and make it a pair of them. It’s Conchairto time but Christian spits on Orton and takes FOREVER, allowing Orton to get up and crack Christian with the chair. The Canadian goes to the apron and a running shot to the head sends Christian through the table.

Orton still isn’t done as he throws everything he’s got under the ring. There are steps, kendo sticks, garbage cans and the table that is still up in the corner. Christian is on the steps trying to get a breather. Orton puts his foot on the champ’s head and tries a stomp but Christian moves. Powerslam puts Christian through the very end of the table, meaning the rest of it is still standing.

Now it’s stick time and Christian’s back takes a shot. The stick is already bent after two shots. There’s an elevated DDT onto the can. It feels like they’re just killing time for some reason. Orton goes into RKO mode onto the steps but Christian finds a kendo stick from somewhere. He tries to go off the ropes but jumps into an RKO on the steps, giving Orton his 9^th world title at 24:36.

Rating: B+. Definitely a good match but they’ve had a better one, probably at Over the Limit. The beating was really good and the ending was SICK. Christian was defeated here and that’s what he needed to have done. They’ll probably have one more blowoff match, hopefully in the Cell which is where this feud could go. After that one though, I don’t know if there’s a point. Still though, very good match that didn’t feel like it was 25 minutes, which is a good thing.

Video about Axxeess while they clear out the ring. There’s a lot of anti-bullying stuff there too. There are some uh….celebrities here I guess they’re called.

Stephanie is talking to HHH but we can’t hear what’s being said.

We recap Punk vs. Cena in the same video we’ve seen three or four times already. I think you get the idea of this already.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

HHH is guest referee and it’s champion vs. champion. This show has been very good so far but if this match is as good as it could be, it hits great. Cult of Personality is a sweet song. We go way old school with a weapons check. Punk is far more popular than Cena. Feeling out process to start. The jean shorts are officially classic. The dueling chants begin and it’s totally domianted by Cena Sucks.

The feeling out process continues and John takes Punk to the mat almost in an amateur style. Now the fans think someone can’t wrestle. This has nearly 40 minutes if need be so they can build very slowly. Cena grabs a chinlock but Punk grabs one of his own including a body vice. Booker is complaining about the technical stuff. Release fisherman’s suplex gets two for John.

We’re seven minutes into this and there hasn’t been anything big yet. Then again it’s not even 10:30 so it’s not like they have to get going immediately. Punk in control and he drops a headbutt and it’s back to the bodyvice. HHH has been pretty inconsequential so far. Cena tries the STF but Punk kicks him off. The crowd is all over Cena tonight. Dropkick knocks Cena off the apron.

Back inside and Punk gets in some kicks to the ribs. There’s an Earthquake for two. Cena fights up but gets caught with a running knee to the head with him against the ropes. He falls onto the mat and fights up into You Can’t See Me. Cena tries the STF but Punk counters into the hold called the Anaconda Vice (Koji Clutch) which is countered into a modified STF. Cole sounds bored out of his mind on the hold.

Punk counters into the real Anaconda Vice (called a keylock) but Cena counters into a Crossface (called a front facelock or something) but Punk gets a rope. Suicide dive takes both guys out. HHH starts the count and both guys are down at 9. Thankfully he stops the count and goes to get them, drawing a round of applause. He throws both guys back in and says let’s go.

Both guys get up and it’s time for the slugout. Cena grabs an AA attempt but Punk escapes, only to get taken down by a SWEET dropkick. There’s the Shuffle but the AA is countered into a sunset flip which is countered into a jackknife cover which is countered into a backslide which is countered into a bridge and a kick to the head for two. AWESOME sequence!

GTS is countered and Cena hits a corner splash. Sitout powerslam gets two as this is getting awesome very quickly. Punk breaks up the top rope Fameasser with a running knee to the head (very popular move anymore) and a bulldog gets two. Punk tries the springboard clothesline but Cena counters into the STF but Punk grabs a rope. The fans are into it but they’re waiting on the HHH stuff I think.

AA is countered into the GTS which is countered into the AA for two. Cena complains to HHH but HHH says it was two. Cena goes up and gets HUGE air on the Fameasser but misses, crashing into the mat and possibly hurting his leg. GTS gets two and Punk is stunned. Punk goes up but is very tired. With a point to the air he drops an elbow for two. That made me smile. Punk’s face is great as he’s shocked.

There’s a Randy Savage chant which is the right idea. Cena grabs a rollup for two and Cena is all fired up. He punches away but Punk grabs a kick to the ribs and another knee to the head. GTS (hit the arm) gets three but Cena’s foot is on the rope. Chant with me: DUSTY FINISH! The pin went down at 24:30.

Rating: A+. It’s not as good as MITB but to call this less than a perfect grade would be unfair. They beat the tar out of each other and had some incredible chemistry as always. These two just have it and there’s no way to teach that. It worked perfectly and the whole thing was great. Cena was all over the place here, trying to prove how well he could work and that’s what he did here. Great match but great in a different way than last month, which is a good thing.

Punk is all happy post match but won’t shake HHH’s hand. HHH holds the arm up and leaves. Of all people KEVIN NASH is in the ring and beats up Punk, leaving him laying with a Jackknife. IT’S ALBERTO!!!

Raw World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

Running enziguri and Del Rio is champion!!!!!!! He celebrates and we’re done. WOW.

Overall Rating: A+. I liked it better than MITB I think and that’s saying a whole lot. There isn’t a single bad match on the whole card as even the Divas were impressive. Great show here with a great pair of main events to end it. This has been an AWESOME summer and a lot of it has been spearheaded by Punk and hopefully it’s not going to end. The ending is great as we have questions, a great match and a new champion. Definitely worth seeing and it’s great for different reasons than MITB, which is a great sign. Great show and the best two show streak for WWE in years.

 

Results

Rey Mysterio/John Morrison/Kofi Kingston b. Alberto Del Rio/R-Truth/The Miz – Top Rope Splash to R-Truth

Mark Henry b. Sheamus via countout

Kelly Kelly b. Beth Phoenix – Victory Roll

Wade Barrett b. Daniel Bryan – Wasteland

Randy Orton b. Christian – RKO onto the steps

CM Punk b. John Cena – GTS

Alberto Del Rio b. CM Punk – Running enziguri

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: March 10, 2006
Location: Mobile Civic Center, Mobile, Alabama
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re running out of time before Wrestlemania and this time around that means we need to start setting up some Money in the Bank participants. Other than that we are all but guaranteed to get some fallout from last week when Mark Henry attacked the Undertaker to cost him the World Title. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap

We open with a recap of Undertaker vs. Angle, set to Deadly Game, at least on the Network. Then Henry crushed Undertaker to make it even worse.

Here are Mark Henry and Daivari to get things going. Fans have been calling it a classic, but how can you have a classic without Henry? He is the only man who deserves to be champion because he took out Batista and Undertaker and Angle is scared of him. Now he wants his title shot, so he is calling Kurt Angle out. So Kurt has options: he can hand it over, or get it took.

Cue Angle to say he’s ready right now and the fight is on. This brings out Randy Orton to jump Angle, which brings out Rey Mysterio for the failed save attempt. Henry crushes Rey but Angle makes the save with a chair. Teddy Long comes out to make the main event in obvious fashion.

Money in the Banks Qualifying Match: Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley

Or not as they start brawling in the aisle before the bell. The referee tries to break it up and gets shoved down, drawing out more referees to break it up. Lashley shrugs off a shillelagh shot to the head and gets in a spear until they brawl to the back. No match.

They fight into the parking lot and wind up on top of a car with Lashley ramming him head first into the roof over and over. With Finlay still on top of the car, Lashley (and some editing tricks) turn the car over, possibly onto Finlay.

Someone is coming, and his name is the Miz.

Here is JBL, fresh off hand surgery, for a chat. He has been blessed by the outpouring of support from the fans and he loves them too. However, since his injury, he has been cheapshotted and blindsided by none other than Steve Austin. Last week, Austin was interviewed by WWE.com and mentioned the greatest Texas wrestlers and JBL was not mentioned!

JBL lists his resume, which includes holding the WWE Title longer than Austin. His last Wrestlemania was bigger than anything Austin ever did and JBL is better than Austin on Austin’s best day. All Austin has left is his ability to drink beer, so JBL wants to prove that he is better than that too. That’s why he wants Austin in a beer drinking contest at Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Then he’ll go to Wrestlemania and take care of Chris Benoit. We see a clip of Benoit injuring JBL’s hand, and JBL says he better go on last at Wrestlemania, because no one is following him. As usual, JBL is great at talking and possibly even better at taking a beating for what he said.

Gregory Helms, who broke his nose in Australia, comes in to see Teddy Long. Teddy doesn’t think it’s fair that Helms has to defend the Cruiserweight Title every week. Helms agrees, but gets to face Chris Benoit in a non-title match.

Video on the Australia/New Zealand tour.

William Regal vs. Paul Burchill

Burchill is making his pirate debut and Regal is shaking his head about having to do this. Before the match, Regal declares this a joke because Burchill is going to make a bloody fool out of himself. Burchill swings in on a rope and Regal finds it oh so funny. Then Burchill whips out a sword and Regal’s face is great. They fight over wrist control to start with Burchill taking him down into an armbar. Regal throws him away and hits a knee to the face, followed by even more knees to keep Burchill down.

We get an inverted full nelson (that’s a…well rare one at least) for a bit, followed by an exploder suplex for two on Burchill. An elbow gets Burchill out of trouble and it’s a jumping clothesline to take Regal down. A very badly hidden camera edit (Regal went from down on the mat to on his feet in a split second) takes us to Burchill getting two off an enziguri and grabbing a standing Spanish Fly for the pin.

Rating: C-. I’m a sucker for pirate movies but this isn’t going to be anything more than a short term gimmick and I think everyone knows it. The change is understandable as Regal and Burchill were only going to go so far as the evil British tag team, but the pirate gimmick going off of the success of Pirates of the Caribbean feels like something that belongs in Memphis, not WWE. At least Burchill is a talented guy though, as this could be a lot worse.

Here are a nervous Booker T. and Sharmell for a chat. Sharmell, with a bag wrapped around her shoulder, says they are tired of the treatment Booker has been receiving. This has been due to Teddy Long and the Boogeyman and they have LETTERS to prove it. First up is a letter from the head of the NAACP, who says Boogeyman is a bad role model for minority children and is rolling back all of the gains in the Civil Rights Movement.

Then someone from PETA says that Boogeyman is cruel to worms, who have feelings too. A third letter, from the editor of Worm Digest, says that Boogeyman should be stopped. Fourth up is a letter from the President’s Council on Health and Fitness, which says eating worms is unhealthy!

So Long needs to get out here right now and address the Boogeyman problem. Long pops up on screen instead and makes Boogeyman vs. Booker for Saturday Night’s Main Event. Booker isn’t happy and throws out the letters….but finds worms instead. Boogeyman appears in the aisle and chases Booker and Sharmell off. The letters thing was kind of funny actually.

Raw Rebound.

Sherri Martel Hall of Fame video.

Kristal Marshall vs. Jillian Hall

Bra and panties match, which is exactly how you follow up a video honoring a woman in wrestling. Jillian throws her down by the hair to start but Kristal is back with a crossbody. The catfight is on with Kristal losing her shirt but coming back with a sunset flip to get rid of Jillian’s skirt. Jillian can’t hit a slam and Kristal takes the shirt to win.

And yes Kristal follows tradition by stripping as well.

Batista was at the Arnold Classic and met Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Chris Benoit vs. Gregory Helms

Non-title. Helms hides in the ropes to start before going with the lockup. Benoit grabs the bad nose and chops away, followed by the snap suplex. The Sharpshooter is blocked and Helms gets in a drop toehold, setting up a legdrop to the back of the neck. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Benoit sweeps the leg but still can’t get the Sharpshooter.

The chinlock goes on for the second time but this time Benoit is up with the release German suplex. Benoit finally gets smart enough to go after the bad nose and NOW the Sharpshooter worse. Helms makes the rope and tries to leave but the rest of the cruiserweights are there to throw him inside. Another German suplex sets up the Swan Dive into the Crossface for the tap.

Rating: C. Benoit winning was expected, but Cole saying that Helms winning would be a huge upset doesn’t exactly do much for the title. It would be an upset, but a champion beating another champion shouldn’t be the biggest shock in the world. It shows you just how worthless the Cruiserweight Title is, even if that has been obvious for a long time now.

Video on Candice Michelle’s Playboy shoot.

We look back at Animal turning on Matt Hardy last week.

Animal talks about his years with Hawk as part of the Legion of Doom. They were the biggest tag team ever and then last week, Matt told him to go up for the Doomsday Device. Well now the tag team days are over and it’s time for Animal to look out for #1.

We look back at the Lashley vs. Finlay fight. Next week, they’re having a lumberjack match.

Mark Henry/Randy Orton vs. Rey Mysterio/Kurt Angle

Daivari is here with the villains. Angle and Orton start things off with Orton not seeming thrilled to go after him. Kurt drives him into the corner for a clean break before wrestling Orton down to the mat with ease. It’s off to Rey in a hurry and the EDDIE chants begin just as fast. It’s too early for a 619 though as Henry pulls Orton out of the way and we take a break.

Back with Mysterio hammering away at Orton and going up top, where Daivari distracts him for a second. Orton dropkicks him out of the air so Henry can come in to throw Mysterio around. It’s back to Orton for the forearms to the chest as Angle is getting anxious on the apron. The fast tags continue with Orton getting in a few shots before handing it back to Henry. Rey’s kicks to the face have no effect as Henry gorilla press drops him but misses the splash.

The diving tag brings in Angle to clean house and, after avoiding the RKO, he grabs the ankle lock. Henry makes the save so it’s Rey springboarding back in and hitting the 619 on Orton. Angle and Orton fight on the floor as Henry stands on Mysterio. The referee gets splashed on purpose and Daivari sends in a table. Henry loads Mysterio onto it and goes to the middle rope with Angle making the save. The RKO drops Angle and Orton puts him on the table instead. Henry’s splash crushes Angle so here are more referees to check on him as the match was thrown out somewhere in there.

Rating: C. Pretty run of the mill main event style tag match here and it worked well enough in that regard. The whole point was to keep Henry looking like a monster and having him destroy the World Champion is a good way to get there. In addition you have Angle banged up for Wrestlemania, but just get to the Undertaker stuff already.

Henry and Daivari are left alone in the ring and there go the lights. Undertaker’s voice comes up to challenge Henry for a Wrestlemania casket match. Henry rubs his face and nods to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This is a show that was about setting up things for Wrestlemania, with most of the matches already set or fairly obvious. That worked out well enough too, as the stuff that needed to get a focus got some attention, with a big match being made. Much like last week though, it is very obvious who has something going for Wrestlemania and who doesn’t, as the interest goes up and down throughout the night.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: February 17, 2006
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for No Way Out, which is looking like one of the best shows that WWE has put together for a good while now. I’m not sure what to expect here, but we’re going to be seeing some previews for some of the pay per view matches. For once, that sounds like a fine idea. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio vs. Sylvan

Sylvan talks about being the whole package, so Rey hits him with a baseball slide and a slingshot dive to start things off in a hurry. Rey hammers away on the floor and sends him into the steps as the aggression is strong here. They head inside for the opening bell so the aggressive Rey grabs a headlock.

Rey kicks at the leg as the EDDIE chants start up, meaning it’s an Eddie dance. A missed charge in the corner lets Sylvan get in a backbreaker and a delayed belly to back gets two. The bearhug goes on, followed by a spinebuster for two more. Rey fights out of a waistlock and is immediately clotheslined right back down. That doesn’t seem to matter though as it’s a 619 into Dropping The Dime for the pin on Sylvan.

Rating: C-. It was nice to see Rey a little more aggressive as he can be fast enough to make it work well. You can only do the stick and move offense for so long and Rey getting in a win like this, even one where he had to fight through some adversity, was a nice change of pace. Rey is often presented as surviving instead of winning decisively, so this worked out well.

Post match Randy Orton comes out to say that Eddie main evented Wrestlemania (not exactly) but Rey will never do that because he can’t win.

Post break, Mysterio runs into Kurt Angle, who asks if Rey is letting Orton talk to him like that. It would be an honor to face Mysterio at Wrestlemania but here’s Mark Henry to ask why Angle is worried about Wrestlemania. Tonight, Henry is taking out Angle and Undertaker.

Here’s Orlando Jordan to say that he should be getting the US Title shot at No Way Out. No one in that locker room can beat him either.

Boogeyman vs. Orlando Jordan

Jordan jumps him but Boogeyman finishes with the pumphandle slam in less than a minute.

Post match, Boogeyman drops worms on Jordan. Moving on.

Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Hotty is challenging in place of Kid Kash, who had a family emergency. Helms stomps away in the corner to start but Scotty snaps off some hiptosses for two. A missed charge sends Scotty into the post though and a knee to the face gets two. Helms drops some legs and gets two more off a Chris Jericho style cocky cover. A clothesline sets up the chinlock but Scotty is up with elbows and a backdrop. The Worm tease takes too long though and it’s a clothesline into the Shining Wizard to retain.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here and that was kind of the point. The cruiserweights don’t have much going at the moment so Helms is about as good of a choice as they have. They’re going to need to do something else to boost things up, starting with a good challenger. I’m not sure how likely that is given the history of the division, but what we’re getting so far isn’t quite promising.

Post match Helms says he can do that against anyone in the cruiserweight division. Cue the cruiserweight division to beat the heck out of Helms, capped of by the Worm from Scotty.

Video on the Undertaker.

We look at the Helms beatdown again.

Teddy Long comes in to see Helms as he is getting ice on his ribs. For No Way Out: another Cruiserweight Open.

Mr. Kennedy interrupts Paul Burchill’s interview and can’t believe we’re seeing this. Burchill puts a sword to Kennedy’s throat and Kennedy suddenly sees the brilliance. Kennedy: “We need a pirate in this business.”

John Bradshaw Layfield/Finlay vs. Chris Benoit/Bobby Lashley

Booker T. and Sharmell are on commentary and Benoit’s entrance makes Booker sweat. Benoit and Finlay start things off and fight over a lockup until Finlay takes him down by the leg. Back up and Benoit hits a dropkick as Booker rants about being able to work 365 days a year. Sharmell: “Michael Cole, you would scream like a girl if you had an ingrown toenail.” Finlay gets Benoit tied in the ring skirt so JBL can stomp on Benoit’s hand on the steps.

Said hand is bent around the turnbuckle so Benoit uses the good hand to chop JBL into the corner. Unfortunately it’s the Finlay corner and the beating is on all over again. Benoit slugs away from JBL and brings Lashley in to clean house. The shoulders in the corner have JBL in trouble so he goes to the eye to save himself. Finlay comes in and gets clotheslined to the floor, with JBL diving off the apron to drop Lashley.

We take a break and come back with Lashley caught in a sleeper. Lashley fights up but Finlay kicks him in the back to take care of the comeback bid. Finlay comes in and uppercuts him a few times, only to have Lashley hit the running clothesline. The hot tag brings in Benoit to clean house, including a suplex to JBL. The rolling German suplexes keep JBL in trouble but Finlay makes the save. Benoit sends Finlay into the steps but Booker chairs Benoit in the back. The Clothesline From JBL finishes Benoit.

Rating: C+. Pretty solid enough tag match and that works out well for everyone. Finlay doesn’t have the big win on his own yet but he’s become a player in a hurry. Now as long as they can do something with him in the coming weeks, he might be able to become someone around here. He comes off as someone different, and that’s a great status to have.

Bret Hart Hall of Fame announcement.

Matt Hardy vs. Simon Dean

The Gymini are here with Dean and offer a rather early distraction. The other pulls Dean out of the way of a charge in the corner and that means an ejection. Dean gets in a few cheap shots and sends Hardy into the corner as commentary doesn’t seem to think the match deserves that much attention. The Side Effect gets Matt out of trouble and the Twist of Fate finishes in a hurry.

Rating: D. I’m not sure what it means that this is the best Matt has gotten to look since Survivor Series. The match was nothing and just a win over Simon Dean of all people, but at least Matt got to win something. He needs to reset things a bit and while I don’t believe that is going to start from this, it’s better than nothing.

Video on Angle’s career, including several clips of his amateur career.

Raw Rebound.

Matt Hardy runs into Melina in the back and accepts her offer. Not the backscratching offer, but the offer for a match against MNM with a partner of his choosing. Ok then.

No Way Out rundown.

MNM/Mark Henry vs. Kurt Angle/Undertaker

Daivari and Melina are here with the villains. Angle and Mercury start things off but Undertaker steps in front of Kurt to start instead. Undertaker throws Mercury into the corner without much trouble and demands Henry. That’s just what he gets, along with a blind tag from Angle who uppercuts Henry instead. It’s off to Nitro, who misses a charge into the corner. The ankle lock is broken up and everything breaks down in a hurry. Undertaker and Angle clear the ring but stop to stare at each other, allowing Henry to throw both of them outside.

We take a break and come back with Nitro holding Angle in a chinlock before Mercury comes in for shoulders in the corner. Henry fights out of an ankle lock without much trouble and it’s Mercury back in with the next chinlock. That one is broken up with a suplex and the hot tag brings in Undertaker. Snake Eyes into the big boot hits Mercury but Henry breaks up the double chokeslam. MNM chokes away in the corner and a double suplex gets two. Undertaker avoids a Henry charge and calls for the chokeslam but Angle tags the hand instead. Angle cleans house in a hurry and finishes Nitro with an ankle lock.

Rating: C+. Normally I wouldn’t be thrilled with the Tag Team Champions losing like this but due to a mixture of that ship sailing a long time ago and it being against Undertaker and Angle. This was all designed to keep pushing Angle vs. Undertaker, which is somehow looking even better than it did before. The match wasn’t the point here, but it worked out well enough for what they were trying to do.

Post match Undertaker chokeslams and Tombstones Henry (without the best landing) to scare Angle a bit. The staredown ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling was good enough but what matters the most here is making No Way Out look more interesting. The card is looking rather good two days before the show and that is more than you usually get out of the February show. Then again, having Undertaker vs. Angle on the show is about as good as you can get for a pre-Wrestlemania main event.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: February 10, 2006
Location: Civic Center, Columbus, Georgia
Attendance: 4,542
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re getting closer Eddie Guerrero to No Way Out and that means Kurt Eddie Guerrero Angle vs. Undertaker, plus Eddie Guerrero Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton over the Eddie Guerrero memory of Eddie Guerrero. That might sound like a good Eddie Guerrero top to the card but they’re going to need more Eddie Guerrero matches to make the show work in the Eddie Guerrero end. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Randy Orton insulting the memory of Eddie Guerrero to convince Rey Mysterio to put up his Wrestlemania title shot. In defense of Eddie Guerrero’s legacy of course.

Opening sequence.

Matt Hardy vs. John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Orlando Jordan vs. Chris Benoit

One fall to a finish and the winner gets Booker T. (on commentary with Sharmell while Jillian Hall is at ringside) for the US Title at No Way Out. It’s a brawl to start with Matt and JBL being sent outside but coming back in so JBL can clothesline Matt back to the floor. Benoit can’t Sharpshooter JBL but he can Crossface him with Jordan coming back in for the save. Matt suplexes Jordan for two as Cole and Booker argue over how much Booker has been wrestling as of late.

JBL pulls Matt to the floor and sends him face first into the steps. Back in and Benoit snaps off a release German suplex to JBL. That doesn’t seem to have much effect as JBL is back up to boot Matt in the face, followed by Benoit DDTing Jordan. JBL gets sent into the steps by Jordan and Benoit, who send Matt into the steps as well. Back in and Benoit hits a top rope superplex to Jordan and we take a break.

We come back with JBL breaking up a Crossface on Jordan as Booker complains about sweating so much. A middle rope elbow gives JBL two on Benoit and Matt’s neckbreaker gets the same on JBL. Booker rants on Benoit being a prima donna for making the save and then complains about the refereeing over and over. JBL suplexes Benoit as Booker is losing his mind about Benoit not being pinned.

The Clothesline From JBL hits Hardy but Jordan has to be dispatched, allowing Benoit to make the save. The Three Amigos take JBL down and the rolling German suplexes drop Jordan again. There’s the Swanton for two on Jordan with JBL making a save this time. JBL is sent to the floor and Matt hits the Side Effect on Jordan. Benoit is back up though and the Crossface makes Matt tap for the title shot.

Rating: B-. They kept the action moving here and Booker’s panicked reactions made the match a little bit better. Then again there was Jordan doing his best warm body who happens to be in there performance, yet somehow not being the one to take the fall. Why do you have Jordan in there if he isn’t the one taking the loss? Can this guy please just get released already?

As Benoit celebrates, Teddy Long tells Booker and Sharmell that it’s either fight at No Way Out or forfeit.

JBL rants about how he can beat anyone when Bobby Lashley comes up. The challenge is on for No Way Out and Jillian accepts on JBL’s behalf, much to JBL’s fear.

Melina offers Matt Hardy a spot in MNM.

Daivari is sick of hearing about Kurt Angle and is looking forward to seeing Mark Henry destroy Undertaker tonight. Henry promises to take Undertaker out.

Here’s MNM for an Open Challenge.

MNM vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Non-title. London wristlocks Mercury down and drops a leg on the arm but Mercury is back up with a right hand to the face. A hurricanrana gives London two more as Melina is looking rather confident on the floor. Nitro comes in and gets hurricanranaed by Kendrick, followed by a dropkick for two. A clothesline to the back of the head staggers Kendrick though and it’s back to Mercury, who gets dropkicked by London.

The threat of a kick to the face sends Mercury outside and that means another headscissors from Kendrick. London adds a big flip dive onto both of them but Kendrick gets backdropped over the top and outside for a nasty crash. Back in and Kendrick gets sent hard into the corner but he fights out of the backbreaker. The diving tag brings in London but the referee doesn’t see it, allowing MNM to hit a Snapshot, with Melina grabbing London’s leg so there’s no save.

Rating: C-. London and Kendrick could be a good addition to the tag team division. I mean, assuming there actually is a division, as there isn’t much to the whole thing aside from MNM and….do Heidenreich/Animal still count? The FBI is still around but other than that, we more or less have the champions and whomever is challenging them at the moment. In other words, business as usual.

Video on the Asian tour.

Randy Orton wants to set the record straight on his Eddie Guerrero comments last week. After seeing the “Eddie isn’t up there” comments again, here’s Orton in the arena to address said comments….and he’s in the low rider. Orton doesn’t know where Eddie is and doesn’t care. All that matters is that Orton got what he wanted: a chance to take Mysterio’s Wrestlemania title shot.

Orton is going on to Wrestlemania to become champion, but that’s at Wrestlemania. Why is he here in a low rider this week? See, Eddie Guerrero was no saint, and Orton has the proof. He pulls out a copy of Eddie’s own book to read a section but here’s Rey Mysterio to jump him. Mysterio dropkicks him head first into the post and Orton is out.

Cruiserweight Title: Nunzio vs. Gregory Helms

Helms is defending. They go to the mat to start and here’s Kid Kash, who gets the winner next week, to watch from the aisle. Nunzio grabs an armbar and hurricanranas him out to the floor but Helms is back with something like an F5 to send Nunzio throat first across the top rope. A high crossbody (to the face) drops Nunzio again and we hit the chinlock. Nunzio fights up with some clotheslines and a neckbreaker gets two. Helms is right back with a fireman’s carry spun into a knee to the face, followed by the Shining Wizard to retain.

Rating: C-. Well that happened. There isn’t much that you can do with these matches as there is little interest in them as the cruiserweights have been treated like nothing for a long time now. The action was fine enough (save for that high crossbody) but at the end of the day, it’s the Cruiserweight Title. WWE isn’t going to treat it as anything important and it’s hard to get behind it as a result.

Palmer Cannon is glad the juniors are back. Mr. Kennedy comes in and likes them, but Pirate Paul Burchill breaks through a wall, says hello, and leaves.

Octagoncito/Pequeno Valencia vs. Mascarita Sagrada/Tzuki

Valencia is nearly Rey Mysterio’s size so Sagrada picks up the pace to start and takes him down early on. The much bigger Valencia misses a running dropkick in the corner and it’s Tzuki coming in to spin around into a headscissors. Octagoncito comes in but Tzuki is too busy armdragging Valencia….but here’s Finlay to beat up Octagoncito for the DQ.

Post match Finlay beats up Tzuki for a bonus. Finlay says this is serious and he’s here to fight. I’m all for him in something like this. The juniors are all talented, but it doesn’t fit in here and having Finlay beat them up is going to get more mileage than anything they do.

Raw Rebound.

Video on Undertaker.

No Way Out rundown, which is looking pretty good.

Booker T. and Sharmell are leaving but the trunk of their car is full of worms.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Daivari is here with Henry. Undertaker grabs a headlock to start, which looks rather out of place for him. A running shoulder has no effect on Henry so he grabs his own headlock. Henry’s shoulder works a bit better and he hiptosses Undertaker down with ease. Henry charges into a boot in the corner but a collision sends Undertaker into the ropes. The running charge misses though and Henry falls outside as we take a break.

Back with Henry hammering away against the barricade. Undertaker reverses a whip though and sends Henry hard into the steps. Some right hands and a big boot rock Henry and the elbow to the face sets up the apron legdrop. A glare at Daivari means it’s a delayed two on Henry, who isn’t knocked down off Old School. Henry catches a charge in the corner though and powers Undertaker into the other corner.

A headbutt to the spine gives Henry two and it’s time to crash down onto Undertaker’s lower back. Henry stands on the ribs and Daivari gets in some choking as the referee yells. They head outside again with Undertaker’s back being sent into the barricade and the apron. That’s good for one back inside but Undertaker slugs away from his knees and hits the running clotheslines in the corner. The chokeslam (and a decent one at that) connects but MNM come in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. I was into this one until the ending, but that was the right call. You don’t want either of these two losing at the moment, as Undertaker is going into a World Title shot and Henry just lost at the Rumble. MNM’s loose association with Henry is enough for them to come in here and it was the right ending to a nice power match.

Post match Undertaker shrugs off MNM and chokeslams Daivari but MNM are back up. Henry runs Undertaker over but Kurt Angle runs out for the suplexes to make the save. Henry runs through Angle, only to have Undertaker kick Henry in the face. Undertaker grabs the title, so here’s Teddy Long to make Henry/MNM vs. Angle/Undertaker in a handicap match for next week. Henry is pleased to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This is a tricky one as it wasn’t much on its own, but it was quite the show for setting up No Way Out. They’ve got a hot card for the show and Angle vs. Undertaker sounds awesome. If they can keep that up next week, we could be in for something special at the pay per view. Cut out some of the weaker stuff (Booker vs. worms, juniors and the rather lame cruiserweights) and you’ve got an excellent show. As it is, it wasn’t much here but it looked to the future, which is a good thing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: February 3, 2006
Location: TD Waterhouse Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re done with the Royal Rumble and on our way to Wrestlemania, but first up we need a stopover at No Way Out, which seems like it is going to feature Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle. That is a heck of a main event on its own, but Smackdown will also have Rey Mysterio as the Royal Rumble winner on the show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We look at Kurt Angle defeating Mark Henry (thanks to a lot of cheating) to retain the World Title on Sunday, with Undertaker coming out to say he wanted the title and destroy the ring to end the show.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Teddy Long to talk about the surprises from the Royal Rumble. This included Undertaker saying he wanted Kurt Angle so the title match is on at No Way Out. How nice to see them just getting to the point and not wasting time for a change. The biggest surprise though was the winner of the Royal Rumble, as Rey Mysterio dedicated his win to Eddie Guerrero and now he’s going to Wrestlemania.

Cue Rey (who Cole says won the Rumble last night) in a low rider and wearing an Eddie shirt as the fans chant for Eddie. Teddy leaves and Rey thanks Eddie, who got him last night. Cue Randy Orton to interrupt though, who says Eddie was laughing at Rey last night. Randy and Eddie know that Rey isn’t ready to headline Wrestlemania and there must have been divine intervention last night. He knows Rey couldn’t beat him in a regular wrestling match, but the fans cut him off with a YOU SUCK chant. Rey: “I’m glad I’m not the only person who thinks you suck.”

Orton wants to challenge Rey for the Wrestlemania title shot so Rey looks up to Eddie. Randy: “Eddie’s not up there. Eddie’s down there….in h***.” The fight is on and referees have to pull Rey off of Orton. This is the point where the Eddie stuff jumped to a new level of ridiculous, as the story has stopped being about anything but Eddie. There needs to be more to it than that for a Wrestlemania World Title match.

Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Mexicools

MNM is defending and has Melina with them. Psicosis monkey flips Nitro down to start and it’s a moonsault/legdrop combination for two with Mercury having to make a save. The champs bail to the floor and Crazy hits a big running flip dive to take them both down. We take a break and come back with Mercury suplexing Psicosis for two. Melina adds a headscissors choke from the apron and Tazz sees nothing wrong with that.

Psicosis fights out of a double arm crank but it’s a double spinebuster to put him back down for three near falls in a row. That’s enough to draw Melina to the apron for some yelling but Mercury is sent into her, meaning the ankle injury flares up again. Back in and Psicosis gets over for the hot tag to Crazy for the house cleaning. A tornado DDT gets two on Mercury but Melina takes off her boot to knock Crazy silly and retain the titles.

Rating: C. I know the Mexicools aren’t likely to go anywhere but they’re fine for the smaller, high flying tag team. There is always a place for a team like them and they did rather well here. The champs were in trouble until their manager cheated to retain their titles. That’s as by the book as you can get but they did it well enough to get by with a somewhat hot match.

Booker T. and Sharmell tell Teddy that he still can’t wrestle after his injury was aggravated in the Royal Rumble. Teddy says Booker can pick a substitute to face Chris Benoit tonight, but that substitute can lose the US Title for him. Yelling ensues.

Raw Rebound.

Here is JBL complaining about how he has to be put in the ring with one freak show after another. Anyone who gets in the ring with him becomes a star but he’s tired of WWE depending on him to give people a rub. No more, because he is a wrestling god, but here’s Bobby Lashley to interrupt for his match.

Bobby Lashley vs. Chad Dick

JBL is still at ringside, along with James Dick. Chad’s early cheap shots don’t work as Lashley throws him down, then does the same thing to James. The Dominator finishes Chad in less than a minute.

Post match, Lashley gets blasted by the Clothesline From JBL.

We see the same Angle/Undertaker video that opened the show.

Here’s the Undertaker for a chat. Undertaker says the time is drawing near for Kurt Angle and there is no way out. Angle has the title that he wants so here’s Angle to interrupt. Kurt says Undertaker makes people scream but he makes them tap. Undertaker is the Phenom, but he’s the wrestling machine. When the bell rings, Angle doesn’t have a soul either, so at No Way Out, he isn’t wrestling in peace. Undertaker knows Angle believes that, but he will rest in peace at No Way Out. Thunder strikes and Undertaker disappears.

Wrestlemania is 58 days away.

Octagoncito vs. Tzuki

Yes the Juniors are back and they have their own graphic. Octagoncito jumps him to start but gets dropkicked to the floor for a flip dive. Back in and Octagoncito hits a dropkick into a gorilla press as commentary argues about how to pronounce the names. Tzuki comes back with an armdrag and a tilt-a-whirl headscissors, followed by a sunset flip for two. A high crossbody into a crucifix gives Tzuki the win. These guys were gone for months and now they’re back, though I can’t imagine they’ll make any bigger of an impact than they did before.

Mr. Kennedy interrupts Chris Benoit’s warmup and hints that he knows Booker’s replacement opponent. Benoit threatens to break his arm for getting this close again.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. ???

Benoit is challenging and the mystery replacement is….Finlay. This could be interesting. Booker joins commentary as Finlay takes Benoit down for an elbow to the face. A keylock sends Benoit over to the rope as Booker goes over he and Benoit’s history with Finlay in WCW. Finlay forearms him down again and we hit the armbar. Benoit gets him into the corner for some quick stomping but Finlay uppercuts him back.

Some chops send Finlay into the corner again so it’s another uppercut to drop Benoit again. We hit the reverse chinlock but Benoit is back up with the rolling German suplexes. Booker’s distraction breaks up the Swan Dive though and Finlay gets in a cheap shot. That just earns him the Crossface but Sharmell comes in with Booker’s crutch for the DQ.

Rating: C. I could go for more of Finlay getting into the title picture as he’s rather good at what he does. The Booker vs. Benoit stuff is interesting as well as they have had a bunch of matches already but the injury has allowed their feud to continue without getting stale. I’m starting to get into this situation and that’s always a good thing to see, especially if Finlay is going to be a regular part of it.

Post match the double beatdown is on.

Daivari doesn’t agree with the idea that Kurt Angle defeated Mark Henry because it was the steel chair that beat him.

The Boogeyman scares Booker and Sharmell. Please tell me that’s not going to be about the title.

Gregory Helms says he is the greatest cruiserweight alive today and he knows that no one on Smackdown is going to give him a threat. Nunzio comes up and threatens to break Helms’ leg. The title match is set for next week.

Palmer Cannon agrees that Paul Burchill and William Regal don’t want to be a tag team anymore. See, Regal’s heritage is British, but Burchill’s is from PIRATES. He wants to swashbuckle on Smackdown and Cannon loves it. Regal’s eyes bugging out at all of this makes it that much better.

Randy Orton/Mark Henry vs. Rey Mysterio/Kurt Angle

Daivari is here with the villains. We’re joined in progress with Orton saying he wants Rey to start. That’s what Orton gets so Rey comes in and hammers away until Orton sends him face first into the middle buckle. A headscissors puts Orton the floor though, just like on Sunday, with Rey following with a springboard seated senton.

Back in and Orton takes Rey into the corner so Henry can come in to step on Rey’s face. Orton drops a knee to the chest and hammers at Rey as the fans want Angle. A dropkick cuts off Rey’s comeback attempt but Orton goes shoulder first into the post. The diving tag brings in Angle, who slaps the ankle lock on Henry. That’s broken up in a hurry so it’s an Angle Slam right back into the ankle lock.

Orton makes the save so Angle goes for his ankle, only to have Daivari’s distraction allow a low blow to break things up. Orton knees Angle in the ribs and it’s back to Henry to headbutt him into the corner. Angle is sent outside for a whip into the steps but he’s right back in for an uppercut off with Orton. It’s Orton getting the better of things though and the chinlock goes on.

That’s broken up so Angle can hit a German suplex and it’s back to Rey for a springboard seated senton. The sitout bulldog lets Rey hammer on Orton until a heck of a clothesline takes him down. The Eddie chants bring Rey back up for the 619 on Orton but Henry breaks up a springboard. Everything breaks down and Angle chases an interfering Daivari through the crowd. Henry follows them, leaving Orton to counter a hurricanrana into a rollup for the pin.

Rating: C+. Nice main event tag match here that advanced Orton vs. Rey, with the other two guys being there as well. Orton and Mysterio can do their thing at No Way Out and this was a good way of setting them up for that match. They followed the formula for the most part here and Orton winning clean advanced the story they’re setting up. Pretty nice job all around.

Post match Orton says Rey has as much chance of winning the title at Wrestlemania as Eddie has at coming back to live. Rey accepts the challenge on behalf of Eddie to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I liked the wrestling for the most part but e pluribus gads the Eddie stuff is going to be an incredibly rough sit. That’s the biggest story on the show right now and I’m almost scared to see how bad it is going to get. It isn’t a great thing to focus on and it’s rather uncomfortable at times on top of that, but WWE has never been one for tact. The wrestling was good but the stories were hard to take, making this about as vintage of a WWE show as you can get.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: January 27, 2006
Location: Bi-Lo Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and that means we should be in for very little of note, as most of the card is already set. The Rumble itself hasn’t gotten that much attention, but it’s not like the match is going to need that much help. Other than that, we’ll be seeing more from Mark Henry and Kurt Angle, which could be a good thing. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Mark Henry vs. Kurt Angle, with Daivari being revealed as Henry’s new manager.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio vs. Mark Henry

Before the match, we see a clip of Rey dedicating his Royal Rumble to Eddie Guerrero. Daivari is on commentary as Rey hammers on Henry to start. Some dropkicks to the leg earn Rey a clothesline but Henry misses a sitdown splash. Henry is right back up and knocks him to the floor before dropping him onto the mat with a gorilla press. The splash doesn’t warrant a cover so he throws Rey outside to start the stalking.

Rey avoids a shot to the steps though and takes Mark back inside for some sliding dropkicks to the head. A moonsault gets one and Rey snaps him throat first across the top. There’s the 619 into the springboard seated senton, but Henry throws him off. Rey gets back up and charges into the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin.

Rating: C. This was the classic big man vs. little man formula and it was fine again. Henry is at his best when someone is bouncing off of him and he stands there to do power stuff. They were smart enough to not try anything too complicated here and in a situation like this, that was easily the best choice.

Matt Hardy is ready to win the Royal Rumble because he will not die.

Booker T. comes in to see Randy Orton before his match with Chris Benoit tonight. Orton is ready to win the Royal Rumble and Booker seems ready to return to the ring. They’re good for now, but Orton might be ready to take Booker up on that favor sooner or later.

Video on the Mexico tour.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Mexicools vs. FBI vs. The Dicks

The winners get the final two Smackdown spots and we’re joined in progress after a break with Vito powering James up and bringing in Nunzio. The Mexicools low bridge Nunzio to the floor though and it’s Crazy coming in to clean house. James has to save Chad but Nunzio tags himself in to drag Psicosis into the corner. The double stomping sets up Vito’s camel clutch on Psicosis and it’s right back to Nunzio for an armbar. That’s broken up in a hurry and Psicosis gets over to Crazy to pick up the pace. Everything breaks down and a wheelbarrow slam/X Factor combination gives Psicosis the pin on Nunzio.

Rating: C-. They got in and out here fairly quickly and that is the best thing that they could have done. There was no need to do anything else here and at least they let the best choice win. The Dicks have gone nowhere since debuting and I can’t imagine that was ever in doubt. Finally you have the FBI, who are a fine midcard team and nothing more than that.

Classic Rumble moment: Chris Benoit wins.

Randy Orton vs. Chris Benoit

No holds barred. They lock up to start and Benoit grabs a to wristlock, with Orton reversing into a headlock. Orton is smart enough to grab the rope before a German suplex and bails to the floor as we take a break. Back with Orton rolling away from the threat of a Crossface and uppercutting him outside. Orton sends him into various things and gets two on the floor, even though falls counting anywhere wasn’t mentioned at the beginning.

Back in and Orton grabs the chinlock before snapping off the dropkick to put Benoit on the floor again. The trashcan is pulled out but a drop toehold sends Orton into it face first instead. Benoit starts chopping away to put Orton onto the announcers’ table, where a thumb to the eye gets Orton out of trouble. Back in and Orton hits a rather aggressive chinlock but Benoit fights up for a failed Sharpshooter attempt.

A knee drop gives Orton two and it’s right back to the chinlock. This time it’s a northern lights suplex to get Benoit out and they head outside again. The chop off goes to Benoit and it’s back inside for Three Amigos to Orton. Benoit keeps it up with a top rope superplex and they’re both down. Orton rolls outside to pick up the trashcan and gets in a heck of a shot to Benoit’s head as we take a break.

Back with Orton holding ANOTHER chinlock, followed by the over the back neckbreaker. Orton takes him outside and peels the mat back, with Benoit backdropping him onto the concrete. They head inside again for the rolling German suplexes but the Swan Dive hits trashcan lid. Benoit isn’t having that so he blocks the RKO, smashes the trashcan lid over Orton’s head and Crossfaces him for the win.

Rating: B. Good brawl here and I liked that it was more about the two of them beating each other up instead of using weapons all the time. There were a few weapons shot here including the ending, but it wasn’t the focal point of the match and that’s a good way to go. Orton does need to lighten up on the chinlocks though, because we’ve covered those extensively enough.

Animal wants to win the Royal Rumble because it’s all he has left to accomplish.

Finlay vs. Funaki

Finlay knocks him down to start and kicks Funaki in the head. Funaki’s enziguri looks to set up the tornado DDT but Finlay throws him down but the yet to be named Celtic Cross (White Noise) finishes Funaki in a hurry.

Post match Finlay keeps up the beating so the referee reverses the decision. Finlay does not approve of this and doesn’t like Americans. He isn’t going away so get over it.

JBL tries to convince Jillian Hall that the Boogeyman is scared of him. Hall is having nightmares about the Boogeyman eating her beauty mark. She asks if JBL ever noticed it and JBL’s eyes panic in a funny bit.

Bobby Lashley is going to win the Rumble.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

After looking under the ring for the Boogeyman, JBL sends Scotty into the corner but gets knocked down. The Worm is cut off by the Clothesline From JBL and here’s the Boogeyman…or at least his music. Scotty is gone and the worms (sounds like a secret alliance to me) fall from the ceiling, covering half of the mat. Now the Boogeyman pops up to scare JBL into the worms. JBL runs off as Boogeyman eats a bunch of worms, as usual.

Raw Rebound.

Melina shows Teddy her taped up ankle and says he has done nothing about this. That’s strike two and he is officially on notice.

Daivari and Mark Henry say Angle loses on Sunday.

Royal Rumble rundown.

Kurt Angle vs. MNM

Non-title and Melina is here with MNM. We’re joined in progress with Mercury getting headlocked down and then taken down with ease. A shoulder puts Mercury on the floor so Nitro comes in instead. Angle armbars him without much trouble and then hammers away in the corner. A Melina distraction lets Nitro get in a knee and Mercury low bridges Angle to the floor.

Nitro pulls Mercury out of the way of a charging Angle to send him shoulder first into the post and there’s a running knee in the corner. The Snapshot is broken up with Mercury being sent outside, where Melina slips him something. Melina offers a distraction so Mercury can get in a loaded right hand for two. The Angle Slam drops Mercury and a suplex sends Nitro to the floor. Angle grabs Mercury’s ankle for the tap.

Rating: C. Match was fine but they really needed Angle to survive cheating and make one of the champs tap? They couldn’t have had some kind of shenanigan or had Henry come in for the DQ? Anyway, Angle has looked awesome as of late and they’ve done a great job of turning him face in a hurry, though it isn’t exactly hard to cheer the guy.

Post match here’s Henry, who is Angle Slammed in a hurry. The ankle lock is broken up with raw power and Angle is stunned to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. They did a little more for the Rumble itself but this was the Angle vs. Henry show. That isn’t the kind of match that should work on paper but the build they gave it here worked out pretty well. Benoit vs. Orton was a good, long match but it’s the only other thing of value on the whole show. Then again, with the Rumble on Sunday, everything is cranked up for Wrestlemania, meaning this is the most inconsequential show of the season.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: January 20, 2006
Location: Civic Center, Florence, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Things changed in a big way last week and now we get to start moving towards the new norm around here. That includes Kurt Angle as the Smackdown World Champion and seemingly gearing up to feud with Mark Henry, probably at the Royal Rumble. Speaking of the Rumble, the show is in ten days and it could use some build. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Angle winning the title in a battle royal, last eliminating Henry.

Opening sequence.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Bobby Lashley

JBL has Jillian Hall with him, now with a bandage on her face after Boogeyman bit off her growth. An exchange of shoulders hurts JBL’s arm but his right hand is good enough to hammer Lashley down in the corner. A thumb to the eye cuts Lashley off but he’s right back with a belly to bell. The charge misses in the corner and JBL runs him over….so here’s Boogeyman from underneath the ring. The distraction lets Lashley hit the Dominator for the pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and was just a backdrop for the Boogeyman interference. The good thing about JBL is it’s not like a loss hurts him so just have him go out there and take a beating, which isn’t going to cause him any real damage. Lashley gets a win and we move forward towards JBL vs. Boogeyman. I’m not sure why, but it’s at least something and JBL can play scared with the best of them.

Post match, JBL bails from the threat of the worms.

Rey Mysterio congratulates Angle on winning the title and promises to become #1 contender. Angle likes the idea of the challenge and walks on to accept more congratulations. He runs into Henry though, who promises to beat Rey and take the title from Angle at the Royal Rumble. Angle wishes him luck and says stay out of his face. The YOU SUCK chants are about his opponents, so don’t be his opponent, because you’ll SUCK.

Post break a scared Jillian is in Teddy Long’s office when JBL storms in. Long doesn’t want to hear the yelling and makes JBL vs. Boogeyman at the Rumble.

Here are Sharmell and Booker T. for the big US Title celebration, including the balloon drop. Booker thanks everyone for believing in him and Sharmell calls Chris Benoit a loser. After a congratulatory kiss, Booker says this is how a real winner celebrates. Cue Orlando Jordan to say Booker disrespected him when Jordan offered to help him in the series. Jordan wants a match right now and punches Booker down for saying no. Cue Teddy to make Jordan vs. Randy Orton for later tonight. So there you go Orlando Jordan enthusiasts. We get to suffer while you enjoy yourselves.

Matt Hardy vs. Finlay

This is Finlay’s debut and he hammers away to start, including taking Hardy down in a hurry. Matt kicks away and hits an atomic drop before catapulting Finlay over the top. Back in and Finlay kicks him in the head before hitting a hard slam for two. The neck crank goes on and you can feel the mean coming off of Finlay. Matt fights up for a backdrop and the Side Effect gets two. The screaming…uh, backsplash actually here, gets two more so Finlay goes outside. Matt gets tied up in the ring skirt and Finlay hammers away before taking him back inside. More forearms in the ropes are enough for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was a physical match and that’s the kind of thing that Finlay is known for. Wanting to brawl and beat on Hardy for the DQ was a logical way for him to debut, as a lot of fans aren’t going to be familiar with him after so many years away from mainstream wrestling. Not so much a good match, but an effective debut.

Post match, Finlay can’t believe that was a DQ and stomps Hardy’s head on the steps.

We look back at Daivari costing Angle a match against Shawn Michaels on Raw. Angle fired Daivari as a result.

Daivari is in Teddy’s office to rant about Angle firing him. He wants Teddy to fix it, so Long makes Daivari vs. Angle for tonight.

Batista had triceps surgery for the second time.

Rey Mysterio vs. Mark Henry

The winner gets the title shot at Angle at the Rumble. Melina is here with Henry. Mysterio starts sticking and moving to start but gets knocked down in a hurry. The pace picks up a bit and Rey sends him outside for a dropkick through the ropes. A quick dive knocks Henry up against the barricade and we take a break. Back with Henry running him over and shoving Mysterio down by the head.

Henry steps on his chest but misses a splash. Mysterio can’t do much with the delay though as he gets knocked outside, with Henry throwing him back inside with no trouble. Back in and Henry misses a charge in the corner so Rey kicks at the leg, slips out of a gorilla press, and kicks at the leg again. Some 619s to the back and ribs set up the regular version and Rey hits a heck of a frog splash. Henry rolls through like it’s nothing though and plants him with the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C. Pure formula stuff here and that’s the right way to go. Show that Henry can absorb the offense and then pop up for the win. Beating Mysterio so decisively sets up Henry for the World Title shot that he was all but guaranteed to get. Not a great match, but it did things rather well.

Mr. Kennedy comes out with some of his new shirts but if you want them, go buy them.

Gymini vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Simon Dean is here with the Gymini and Kennedy is on commentary. Cole and Tazz throw on the Kennedy shirts, with Kennedy complimenting Cole’s head. London and Kendrick hit the ring in a hurry and clothesline Dean to the floor at the bell. London starts fast with a missile dropkick but a Dean distraction lets the monsters run him over. A double shoulder takes him down again as Dean starts blowing the whistle. Some missed elbows allow the hot tag to Kendrick to clean house as everything breaks down. Kendrick gets spinebustered onto London though and a double Regal Cutter finishes Kendrick in a hurry.

Rob Van Dam is back at the Royal Rumble.

Orlando Jordan vs. Randy Orton

Orton takes him over with a headlock to start and the trash talk is on. Some armdrags send Orton outside though and it’s time for a breather. Back in and another armdrag lets Jordan clothesline him to the floor but Orton avoids the slingshot dive. We come back from a break with Orton grabbing a chinlock with a bodyscissors, followed by the dropkick for two. Jordan couldn’t get his foot to the rope, so the referee says it was under the rope for the break anyway.

Jordan’s comeback is cut off in a hurry and we hit the chinlock again. The comeback works this time as Jordan starts in on the arm, including a standing armbar. That’s reversed into the backbreaker for two and Jordan’s dropkick gets the same. A swinging neckbreaker drops Orton but here is Sharmell for a distraction so Booker can come down for a crutch shot to Jordan. The RKO is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. For the love of all things good and made of poultry can we PLEASE cut it out with Jordan already? He has never been interesting, he has never been anything resembling good and he has never been anything more than a name on the roster. Let him go to Velocity and stay there already because he is as much of a groan inducing name as there is these days.

Post match Chris Benoit runs in for the save and rips up Booker’s shirt.

Video on Mark Henry.

We run down the Rumble card.

Raw Rebound.

Daivari is scared about the main event and know it’s going to be screwed up.

Kurt Angle vs. Daivari

Non-title and here are Mark Henry and Melina to watch. Angle snaps off the belly to belly suplex to send Daivari outside, where Daivari is terrified of Henry. Back in and Daivari’s low blow doesn’t do much damage so Angle throws him at Henry. With Henry holding Daivari in the air, Angle hammers on Daivari’s back before throwing him back inside. The Angle Slam sets up the ankle lock but Melina comes in for the DQ.

Post match Angle puts Melina in the ankle lock but Henry comes in for the World’s Strongest Slam. Henry crushes Angle with the steps for a bonus. With Angle down on the floor, Daivari announces himself as Henry’s new manager to end the show. Was Daivari that great of a manager that we need to have him added like this?

Overall Rating: C-. This show was more logical than anything else and that’s fine. It might not have been exactly thrilling, but it did a good job of setting up the non-Rumble matches. The perk about the Rumble is that it doesn’t need much of a build in the first place so hopefully we get a little push next week, but it’s not like the match really needs it. Angle vs. Henry actually sounds decent though, which I never would have guessed on coming in.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: January 13, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 10,892
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s a big night around here as we are finally done with the Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton/Booker T. series for the US Title. It’s kind of interesting that so many fans (myself included) seem to remember more Benoit vs. Orton matches than there really were. I’m not sure what else to expect here but let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are Batista and Teddy Long to open things up. Commentary talks about Batista suffering some injuries over the weekend and this doesn’t sound good. With a heavy sigh, Batista talks about being injured in a match against Mark Henry over the weekend, meaning he’s going to need surgery and be out for a long time.

A long time ago, a friend of his named Paul told him to enjoy the ride with the title and that is what he has done. He has enjoyed following in the footsteps of men like Ric Flair, Harley Race and Dusty Rhodes. Due to the injury though, he is forced to relinquish the World Title. Batista hands the title to Long, but says he’s coming back for it. It’s sad to see the title reign end like this but there was nothing else they could have done. Granted the fact that he hadn’t defended the title on TV since No Mercy in October, they might have been running out of things for Batista to do anyway.

During the break, various people wished Batista luck, including Ricky Steamboat and Arn Anderson. Rey Mysterio had the big emotional moment.

Back in the ring, Long says that we’ll be crowning a new World Champion tonight in a battle royal.

We recap the Best of Seven series for the US Title.

Randy Orton wants in the battle royal but Long says no because Orton is only wrestling once tonight.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton

For the vacant title, and Booker T. (here at ringside with Sharmell) is champion if Orton wins. They fight over a lockup to start with neither being able to get anywhere in the corner. Benoit takes him down by the arm into a keylock with a bodyscissors but Orton gets up and drives him into the corner. Orton’s throat is snapped across the top with Benoit dropping to the floor….and grabbing his knee while pointing at Booker. That’s enough for an ejection and we take a break.

Back with Orton fighting out of a bearhug of all things and working on Benoit’s arm. Orton actually takes him down for a headlock but has to fight out of a Crossface attempt. Benoit chops away but gets sent shoulder first into the post, allowing the headlock takeover to work a bit better this time around. Another Crossface attempt is blocked so Benoit goes with an armbar instead. That’s enough to send Orton bailing to the floor again, only to have Benoit suplex him right back in.

The armbar goes on again but Orton slips out and heads up top. That earns him a bunch of headbutts for a crash down into the barricade so we can take another break. Back again with Orton dropping some knees but Benoit chops from the mat to get him away. The chinlock (of course) goes on but Benoit is out in a hurry. A dropkick takes him down again and we’re right back to the chinlock.

Benoit fights up in a hurry and gets two off a fisherman’s suplex. The chops in the corner set up the Sharpshooter but Orton is straight over to the ropes. The rolling German suplexes set up the missed Swan Dive though and they’re both down again. Benoit is up first and tries the Sharpshooter, with the kickoff bumping the referee.

Cue Orlando Jordan….who is knocked down with a single shot because Jordan is really bad at his job. The Crossface goes on again so here are Booker and Sharmell as the referee is still down. Benoit decks Booker and grabs the Crossface again for the unseen tap. Booker gets in and hits Benoit with the title for the save and Orton gets the pin to make Booker champion.

Rating: B. The screwy finish is a bit annoying but at least the series is finally over. They have been needing to move on to something else for a good while now and it’s nice to see the thing finish. There are a few ways to go after that screwy finish, but that probably means Booker vs. Benoit again because we haven’t seen it enough so far. Good match though, as these two always have chemistry together.

Roddy Piper runs into JBL and Jillian Hall in the back, with JBL saying he should be on Piper’s Pit tonight instead of the Boogeyman. JBL makes the mistake of mentioning that Piper never won the World Title…and gets the spot on the show. Piper on Jillian: “Put her on a leash if you can.”

Eddie Guerrero’s family was given an award in his memory.

Here’s Piper for Piper’s Pit. Piper talks about the show debuting right here in Philadelphia 22 years ago but here are JBL and Jillian to interrupt his entrance. JBL talks about fighting through injuries and keeps cutting Piper off. He promises to win the title back tonight and the party will be on in New York. Piper finally gets to talk and asks about the growth on Jillian’s face, which has more hair on it than George Steele.

JBL interrupts and is told to shut up. Piper: “JBL, you’re as stupid as she looks.” Cue the Boogeyman, with JBL throwing Jillian at him. Boogeyman licks the growth on Jillian’s face and then bites it off in the best thing that could have happened to Jillian’s career. Boogeyman goes over to Piper, who immediately starts praying. That’s enough for Boogeyman, as Piper isn’t sure what he just saw.

Melina is ready for Mark Henry or MNM to be World Champion.

Finlay is coming next week.

Smackdown World Title: Battle Royal

William Regal, Paul Burchill, Mark Henry, Animal, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, Matt Hardy, Bobby Lashley, Paul London, Brian Kendrick, Psicosis, Super Crazy, Rey Mysterio, Simon Dean, Sylvan, Orlando Jordan, Nunzio, Vito, ???

There’s a bonus competitor and it’s…..KURT ANGLE, who jumps over from Raw (with Daivari). JBL says he’s got this and is quickly German suplexed, followed by a clothesline for the fast elimination. Vito is out as well and it’s Animal slugging it out with Henry. MNM takes Animal out though and we take a break. Back with Dean having been eliminated and MNM tossing Nunzio.

Angle throws out Jordan, Regal and Burchill in a row, followed by Henry throwing Angle through the ropes. Lashley gets rid of London as Henry follows Angle to the floor and loads up the announcers’ table. Henry gorilla presses Angle through the table and heads back inside for the showdown with Lashley. The shoulder doesn’t work but Lashley does block a suplex. That’s it for his success though as Henry dumps him out, followed by getting rid of Kendrick for a bonus.

Back from another break with MNM, Henry, Hardy, Mysterio, Sylvan and Angle (on the floor) still in. Hardy gets rid of Sylvan but Henry gets rid of him, followed by Mysterio getting rid of MNM back to back. Mysterio realizes that leaves him alone with Henry and there are the EDDIE chants. Rey hits some dropkicks to the knee and a pair of 619s before making the eternal mistake of jumping on Henry’s back. Henry puts him on the apron and catches the springboard for the easy elimination.

Angle is back up though and we’re down to two. The straps come down and Angle is in….where Henry runs him over. Angle snaps off the Angle Slam but Henry hits the running splash in the corner. Henry puts him on top but Angle grabs a headscissors choke, only to get powerbombed right back down. A German suplex gives Angle a breather and he tries to guillotine Henry over the top ala Benoit in the 2004 Royal Rumble. With that not working, Angle goes back to the headscissors and pulls Henry over to win the title.

Rating: C+. This was a situation where WWE didn’t have many options so they went with one of their best choices. Angle is as safe of a pick as you have for World Champion on such a short notice. You can put him into any spot on the card and it’s not like it’s some kind of a stretch to make him the new champ. They can figure out where they want to go from here and Angle is a great bridge to get there. The match was fine with Henry being the only real threat to Angle, and the ending should set up a Royal Rumble title match. They did what they could with their limited options and that’s perfectly acceptable.

Confetti falls to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was the “we don’t have a pay per view” edition of Smackdown and that’s perfectly fine. It’s a show that is going to work every time because it feels important. I’m curious to know what the original plan was for the main event, but a 20+ minute US Title match was more than a big enough deal. Good show here, and Angle coming in as the surprise champion was a cool moment.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: January 6, 2006
Location: Wachovia Arena, Wlkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re into the new year and the big story coming out of last week’s show is the return of Mark Henry, who seems to be Melina’s hired monster to take out Batista. I’ve heard of worse ideas and you can probably pencil in the title match for the Royal Rumble. Speaking of that show, the build starts either tonight or next week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week with Melina announcing that she’s suing Batista, followed by Henry attacking Batista to cost he and Rey Mysterio the Tag Team Titles back to MNM.

Opening sequence.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Matt Hardy

Falls Count Anywhere. Before the match, JBL brags about all the places he could beat Hardy (and Tazz swoons over Jillian Hall’s skirt). He goes into the crowd (where a fan takes the most obvious picture of Jillian’s chest imaginable) to brag some more and here’s Matt to get things going. The brawl is on in the crowd because they can and JBL chokes with his shirt. Matt gets whipped over the barricade for a big crash and it’s time to drop him onto the announcers’ table.

The Side Effect through the table gives Matt two so JBL CRACKS him with a chair for two inside. Matt hits a dropkick through the ropes and follows with a slingshot dive onto the floor for another near fall. It’s time for a ladder to JBL’s ribs but he sends Matt into the barricade again. Matt gets in a few shots and climbs the ladder, only to have Jillian grab his leg. That’s enough for JBL to shove Matt onto the hood of the limo for the win.

Rating: C. It was short but they got in some stuff here, with Matt fighting for revenge and trying to beat JBL however he could. JBL on the other hand was able to beat Matt up well enough in a short time that you could believe the match would go this way. I’ll take the crash over another Clothesline From JBL for the pin too. Jillian continues to be a far less annoying assistant than Orlando Jordan too.

Post match Boogeyman pops out of the limo and gives chase, including putting the worms down Jillian’s skirt. JBL’s panicked face is rather good.

Mark Henry vs. Rob Eckos/Jon Troske/Gus Harlacher

It’s a gauntlet match for Henry and you probably know Eckos better as Robbie E./Robert Stone. Henry has Melina with him and bends Troske’s back around the post to start. A torture rack gets rid of Troske in about thirty seconds and a reverse chokeslam gets rid of Harlacher even faster. Eckos’ shots from behind have no effect so Henry hits a Banzai Drop to the back. The World’s Strongest Slam finishes Eckos with ease. That was the kind of effective squash you don’t get often enough in a situation like this.

Post match Melina fights through tears to say that she is the victim here.

Randy Orton insists he wasn’t going to tap out last week and blames Sharmell for the loss. He’ll go out there and win tonight so he can hand the US Title to Booker T. Booker taking the invisible title and putting it on his shoulder fits him rather well.

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud vs. Kid Kash

Kash is defending and Mr. Kennedy is on commentary after being gone for a few weeks. Juventud starts fast with a dropkick and Kash is knocked outside, with Juventud’s top rope flip dive not making a ton of contact. Back in and Kash pulls him off the middle rope for a face first crash but a springboard moonsault misses. Juventud’s knee is banged up from the crash so the Juvy Driver doesn’t work, allowing Kash to grab a half crab. That’s broken up and the knee is good enough to catch Kash in a super hurricanrana. The 450 misses though and Kash hits the Dead Level to retain.

Rating: C. Given that Juventud was released earlier in the day, there wasn’t a ton of drama about who was winning. Juventud had backstage issues for a good while and since the 450 was banned at this point, there wasn’t a big shock when he was let go. The match was entertaining enough, but it wasn’t a great time for the division and that was very obvious.

Orlando Jordan again asks Booker T. to be his replacement against Chris Benoit but is told to get to stepping. Jordan seems to threaten retaliation.

Batista holds a press conference in the locker room and denies all of Melina’s charges, saying that while they were intimate, she never said no and he never forced anything on her. Mark Henry comes in and asks what if it was him. Batista doesn’t want to hear it and Mark leaves.

Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton

Match #6 in the best of seven series with Benoit down 3-2. Booker comes out for commentary as Benoit sends Orton face first into the buckle to start. Benoit’s snap suplex gets two so Sharmell grabs Benoit’s foot, earning himself an ejection. Orton hits a dropkick and starts hammering away, setting up a chinlock. Back up and Benoit hits a release German suplex, only to be sent outside. We come back from a break with Orton holding another chinlock. Benoit fights out again and hits Three Amigos, setting up the Sharpshooter. That’s switched into the Crossface so Orton bails straight to the ropes. The over the back backbreaker gets two but here’s Orlando Jordan to jump Booker. He’s not done yet though as a crutch shot to Benoit’s head is good for the DQ to tie the series.

Rating: C-. This was a lot of chinlocking with some interference around the rest of the match. It wasn’t as good as last week’s either, with this one not even having the action to make things better. I’m glad they’re wrapping this up too as we’ve been on the same story for a good while now without any major developments. As soon as you get to the Orlando Jordan section of a story, it’s time to go home already.

Raw Rebound.

Finlay is coming.

Here’s Simon Dean for a chat. He issues an open challenge for any two wrestlers to come out and face him. Cue Paul London and Brian Kendrick, but Dean has some different opponents for them. That brings out the Gymini, a pair of huge muscular twins, to wreck London and Kendrick in short order.

Bobby Lashley is ready for the Royal Rumble and likes the sound of facing Batista at Wrestlemania. The need for a mouthpiece is on full display here.

Video on Lashley.

Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Batista/Rey Mysterio

In a cage with MNM, with Melina, defending. Also, no escape here with pinfall or submission only. Thankfully there are no tags either so the brawl is on in a hurry with the champs in trouble. Rey drops a leg on Mercury but MNM blocks a double ram into the cage. They’re pulled off the wall though and we take a break.

Back with MNM still not being able to climb out as Rey knocks Nitro down and bulldogs Mercury off the top. Mysterio gets sent hard into the corner though and there’s a missile dropkick to Batista. A DDT gets two on Batista and a double baseball slide sends him into the cage. Mysterio bounces face first off the cage but he knocks both champs down without much trouble.

That means a climb to the top of the cage for a high crossbody onto Mercury. Nitro makes the save but Batista is up to start wrecking people. Both champs are crotched on top (with Melina wincing), so here’s Mark Henry. After a few shakes of the cage, Henry rips the door off (which actually took several minutes live and had to be edited) and comes in side to beat up Batista. Henry hits Batista and Rey with the door so MNM can steal the pin to retain.

Rating: C. There were some good spots here in a match that should have been window dressing for the angle at the end. Henry presents a good challenge to Batista and it’s nice to see MNM wrap up the story so they can move on to something else. One good thing here was that while Batista and Rey were winning at the time Henry came out, they didn’t have the match completely won so it doesn’t look like they got completely rescued.

Overall Rating: C-. Pretty run of the mill show here but they don’t have anything to build towards until the end of the month anyway. Next week can start the big build towards the Royal Rumble and things will pick up in a hurry. As for here though, it’s just ok for the most part, with nothing bad but nothing very good either. In other words, Smackdown.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXII
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

Really there isn’t much else to talk about here. The other major match on the show is Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon in a match over Vince not being willing to grow up and let go of some things in his past. The card just doesn’t feel big this year which was the case with most of the stuff this year. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Raw: Eugene, Viscera, Goldust, Rob Conway, Lance Cade, Matt Striker, Trevor Murdoch, Tyson Tomko, Snitsky

Smackdown: Funaki, Super Crazy, Simon Dean, Steven Richards, Johnny Nitro, William Regal, Road Warrior, Joey Mercury, Psicosis

They’re keeping it a lot smaller this year with just eighteen names. Cade and Murdoch are a southern team, Striker is a former teacher who would become an annoying announcer, Road Warrior is our old friend Animal, Mercury and Nitro are partners in MNM (Smackdown Tag Team Champions) and Super Crazy and Psicosis are part of a group called the Mexicools. Also Viscera is now a self professed love machine.

Simon tries to make a sales pitch to start and gets superkicked for an elimination. Conway poses while beating on Richards and gets dumped for his efforts. Funaki gets catapulted out and Cade quickly follows him. Richards is stupid enough to pose on the apron and gets knocked out with Striker getting eliminated a few seconds later. Murdoch eliminates Crazy as the ring is quickly clearing out. Psicosis puts out Goldust in a pretty big upset.

Snitsky throws Regal out and MNM plants Eugene with the Snapshot (elevated DDT) for an easy elimination. The final eight (Snitsky, Viscera, Murdoch and Tomko for Raw, Mercury, Nitro, Psicosis and Road Warrior for Smackdown) have the big staredown with Psicosis quickly eliminating Murdoch, only to be put out by Tomko. Viscera tortures MNM as Snitsky and Tomko forget their allegiance by starting a brawl that no one cares about.

MNM avoids a corner splash from Viscera and actually tries the Snapshot, resulting in a severely sore back. Viscera stacks them both up for a splash and the Visagra, which can only be described as rhythmic thrusting on the mat. MNM are thankfully eliminated and Snitsky kicks Tomko out by mistake. Road Warrior stares Viscera down and the fans chant for the LOD. A big splash crushes Road Warrior and the elimination is academic, leaving Viscera to avoid a running boot to eliminate Snitsky for the win at 9:04.

Rating: D-. This was a horrible battle royal with the speed of the eliminations and the winner really holding things back. I mean……VISCERA? The long space near the end with no eliminations felt long too and really made the match drag, despite it not even breaking ten minutes. While last year’s felt fun, this one really felt tacked on and that’s not a good thing.

Viscera kisses Lillian post match.

Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video is set to I Dare You by Shinedown and gives us the required history of Wrestlemania package (very good this year) before shifting to the major matches this year. I like the song but this really isn’t making me want to see the show.

The set is much simpler this year as it looks like the side of a skyscraper and is shaped liked the Chicago skyline, which fits the theme of “Big Time”. The highlight though is a bunch of portraits of various wrestlers around the arena for a unique and cool look.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Big Show/Kane vs. Chris Masters/Carlito

Masters and Carlito are challenging as Big Show and Kane decided they were friends again and easily won the belts. Masters and Kane get things going with Kane using a very rare dropkick. It’s off to Show for the loud chops in the corner but a rake to the eyes allows the tag off to Carlito, who looks terrified. The challengers are quickly deposited on top of each other outside, followed by a big clothesline from Kane. He’s feeling aerial tonight. The referee yells at Kane and in the meantime, Carlito and Masters get the turnbuckle pad off. That almost feels like a Wrestlemania tradition at this point.

Show goes face first into the steel and a double flapjack gets two. A double suplex goes as well as you would expect and it’s off to Kane to almost no reaction. Everything breaks down and Kane dives into the Master Lock (Chris’ full nelson), only to have Show break it up with a kick to the face. A Backstabber puts Show down and Kane sidesteps a Masters ax handle, sending him into Carlito instead. The chokeslam ends Carlito and retains the titles at 6:43.

Rating: D+. That’s their opener? They really didn’t have anything better than this? Kane and Show were pretty boring champions as almost no one could give them a real challenge, which is why they lost to a team of five male cheerleaders the following night on Raw. Masters and Carlito never got as far as they were supposed to in WWE, which is really a trend of the era.

Masters and Carlito argue post match.

Shawn Michaels is ready for his no holds barred match against Vince McMahon tonight. A few months ago, Shawn told Vince to grow up and forget about Montreal, prompting Vince to go to war against Shawn. That doesn’t mean he’s going to take back what he said because he still believes every word of it. Tonight isn’t going to be a five star classic because it’s going to get ugly. Shawn isn’t going to be his 1995 self or his 2006 self. Instead he’s going somewhere he’s never been before and Vince better be ready.

Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Finlay vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Ric Flair

Money in the Bank. Matt is serious again, Shelton is Intercontinental Champion again, Finlay is a tough Irish brawler and Lashley is an athletic freak and a powerhouse (originally described as Brock Lesnar times ten). To make it even better, all four commentators are on the match to make sure we never get a second of silence. Everyone goes after Lashley to start as the fans are all behind RVD.

Van Dam is there for them as he baseball slides a ladder into Matt’s face, followed by a plancha to land on the ladder on Hardy. Shelton won’t stand for being shown up though so he bridges the ladder against the ropes and flip dives out onto a pile of guys in a HUGE crash. Flair and Finlay are left in the ring for something that could be very interesting. Ric quickly dispatches him and goes up but Matt makes the save and SUPERPLEXES A FIFTY SEVEN YEAR OLD MAN OFF A LADDER!!!

Flair is taken to the back so we’re down to five for now which could make the match even better. Van Dam’s Rolling Thunder only hits ladder so Shelton and Lashley handle the climbing for now. Shelton tries a sunset bomb off the ladder but it takes Matt and Finlay to help make it happen. Cole again tries to get the whole Smackdown vs. Raw nonsense in and it still doesn’t work.

With most of the people down, Matt decides to charge at Finlay and a ladder in the corner, resulting in one of them being launched at Matt’s face. I’ll let you figure out which was which. Finlay loads up a ladder but here’s Flair because Heaven forbid we don’t have him around for five minutes. Ric cleans house with chops and goes up, only to have Finlay hit him in the back with the shillelagh (Irish club), sending Flair crashing down to the mat on his back.

The briefcase is swinging though, allowing Shelton to make the save. Lashley uses more power though as he uses another ladder to knock over the standing one to drop everyone again. Rob is right there though, coming off the top with a chair, dropkicking it into Lashley’s back for another save. Now it’s Matt’s turn to do something stupid as he drops a legdrop off the ladder to crush Lashley. That’s not enough either though as Matt Side Effects Finlay off the ladder, followed by Rob dropping the Five Star (well more like a regular one so he didn’t kill himself) from the top of the ladder onto Finlay.

That was a REALLY bad stretch for logic. All of the big spots looked really cool but what sends did most of them make? One of the dangers of Money in the Bank or any ladder match for that matter is doing crazy spots for the sake of doing crazy spots. You could say that they’re doing them to keep other people down, but the logical move, and what they did last year, is just throw people outside and then climb. It made for a higher quality match last year and it would do so again here if they tried the same thing.

Rob goes up now and in the spot of the match, Shelton springboards from the top rope ONTO THE STANDING LADDER and hammers away at Van Dam. Matt climbs another ladder so Shelton steps over to fight him but it’s Rob shoving them both down and pulling down the briefcase at 12:22.

Rating: B. Good stuff here but a major step below last year with too much insanity going around but still more than enough insanity to make the whole thing work. Van Dam is a really good choice for the winner as he’s been one of the most popular guys in the company for a long time so it was time to give him a shot, especially with Batista on the shelf. Good match here but it’s now a spot fest instead of a logical, well thought out match. Both are entertaining, though for far different reasons.

Gene Okerlund is happy to have been inducted into the Hall of Fame (not so happy with his bar tab, because Okerlund likes to drink you see) but Randy Orton comes in to say that he’ll be in the Hall of Fame for actions, not holding a microphone for 35 years. After Gene leaves while rambling about Orton’s old man, Batista comes up and says the title is being kept warm for him. He’ll be back soon.

It’s Hall of Fame time with the Class of 2006 consisting of Gene Okerlund, Sensational Sherri, Tony Atlas, Verne Gagne, William Perry (Celebrity inductee in some rather ugly street clothes. He couldn’t bring a suit?), the Blackjacks, Eddie Guerrero (accepted by Vickie to the loudest ovation of the group) and Bret Hart, who is still a few years away from appearing on WWE TV. Eddie would have been in one day and the reaction he gets here brings a smile to my face, even though I wasn’t a huge fan.

US Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is defending and there isn’t much of a story here other than JBL wants the title and they tried to break each other’s hands (with only Benoit succeeding). In a really cool entrance, the ramp raises up and JBL’s limo comes out from underneath it to deliver him to the ring. JBL even Texas Two Steps to the ring with image consultant Jillian Hall (a good looking blonde) accompanying him. This is quite the drop down the card for both guys, though it’s not quite King Kong Bundy levels of bad.

JBL runs him over to start but has to block the Crossface. Benoit fires off some chops in the corner but the Sharpshooter doesn’t work either. Back up and Benoit chops him in the chest so JBL kicks him in the face. Chris still doesn’t let up and rolls some Germans, only to get crotched going for the Swan Dive. To make sure you know who the villain is here, JBL mocks Eddie’s signature dance (Benoit inducted Eddie into the Hall of Fame) before superplexing Benoit down for a delayed two.

Now it’s time for Three Amigos from JBL which is such an awesome piece of heel work. Jillian yells for some reason and we hit a chinlock on the champion. Benoit fights up and shows us the real way to do the Three Amigos (for those of you going to wrestling school by correspondence, though Benoit doesn’t have Eddie’s roll down just yet), followed by a big Swan Dive for two. Therefore it’s time for the Crossface but JBL rolls over and grabs the rope for the pin and the title at 9:44.

Rating: D+. Really good heel stuff from JBL aside, this felt like it was missing the middle. Instead of building to something, it felt like they ran out of time and just went straight to the finish. I do really like JBL’s heel actions but that doesn’t lead to being good between the bells. Benoit was his normal self here, which may be a step down from last year but it’s still good stuff.

We recap Edge vs. Mick Foley. Edge had cashed in the first Money in the Bank briefcase to steal Cena’s Raw World Title but he dropped it back to Cena three weeks later with Foley as guest referee. Therefore Edge wanted revenge at Wrestlemania, teasing Foley with the Wrestlemania moment performance. Foley accepted if they could make it hardcore, which Edge accepted by giving him a Conchairto (crushing Foley’s head between two chairs). This only woke up the hardcore legend inside Foley and the war was on.

Joey Styles, the voice of ECW, takes over for JR.

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Hardcore. Lawler’s reaction to Lita’s (now with Edge) look: “Whoa.” The cargo pants, Edge vest and bra look does have merit. Edge has a baseball bat and Foley’s flannel shirt is buttoned up for some reason. The bat misses to start and Foley bulldogs him down, followed by putting him in the Tree of Woe for a running ax handle to the face. Lita throws in some weapons to crack Foley upside the head.

The spear connects but Edge rolls away in pain, because Foley had barbed wire wrapped around his waist. The gray flannel comes off and NOW we get the classic red. Edge gets tied up in the ropes and it’s time for Barbie, the baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. Edge is already bleeding from the arm but he’s able to hiptoss Foley into the steps for another sick crash. A baseball slide knocks Foley’s broken body back to the floor and of course it’s table time.

Foley rolls off the table before Edge can drop a top rope splash. That’s fine with Edge who slams Foley head first onto the steel ramp for two. That sound made me cringe….and so does Edge covering Foley in lighter fluid. It wakes Foley up though and he grabs a piledriver for two. Lita breaks up a Conchairto (well a Conchair-cookie sheeto) and Edge gets even more violent with a Barbie shot to the face, followed by just raking the wire over Mick’s forehead (ala Cactus Jack vs. HHH in 2000).

Edge is getting frustrated so he turns over more steps to reveal a bag of thumbtacks. Foley escapes and throws Edge into the tacks instead, sending Edge into shock. A barbed wire Socko appears (ok that’s awesome) and Edge is bleeding from the mouth. Shots to the ribs and head make it even worse and my goodness Edge is gushing.

In perhaps the scariest part of the match, Foley gets the lighter fluid. There is no way this can end well. The table is covered in it but Lita hits Foley in the knee with Barbie…..and lights the table on fire. Edge spears Foley through the ropes and through the fire, sending both men into shock. With Foley rolling around, Edge gets an arm over his chest for the pin at 14:37.

Rating: A. This is the kind of violence that they needed to have and the last shots with both guys in shock and rolling around in agony from the fire more than sold the whole thing. Foley is the perfect choice to bring in for something like this as this is the match that really made Edge. Yeah he was a big deal already, but this showed his mean streak for a change, which is one of the big steps up to the main event. This is the only match people remember from this show and it holds up very, very well.

Booker T. is trying to calm down his wife Sharmell over their handicap match against the Boogeyman (exactly what he sounds like). Sharmell thinks Booker attracts freaks but Booker says no and they walk down the hall. I think you know what’s coming. First up they run into Paul Burchill, who is embracing his family’s history as a pirate. After he calls them mateys, they find Ted DiBiase offering to pay Eugene money if he can bounce a basketball 100 times, only to kick the ball away at 99 (an old trick of his, once tried on Rob Van Dam himself when he was a kid).

Snitsky is kissing Mae Young’s feet (again, a thing of his), followed by Goldust dressed as Oprah Winfrey. Goldust gives him a pep talk, telling him to embrace his inner freak to defeat the Boogeyman. The real advice is to take the worms from Boogeyman’s mouth (Yeah he eats worms. Like, real live worms). Goldust whispers something in Booker’s ears and freaks him out even worse, sending Booker off for his match. These cameos would become a tradition.

Some fans won a contest to come to Wrestlemania, plus free Snickers.

Booker T./Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

Booker and Sharmell are terrified and we might be in for a comedy match here. This match has been a long time in the making as Booker keeps faking injuries so he can avoid fighting Boogeyman but it finally happens here. Sharmell has to start, only to have Booker get in a cheap shot and tag in a few seconds later.

There’s a bunch of fog in the ring from Boogeyman’s entrance as Booker superkicks him down. The Book End gets two and Boogeyman reaches into his pocket to pull out a bunch of worms. As you do. He eats the worms and kisses them into Sharmell’s mouth, sending her running in terror. A chokebomb puts Booker away at 3:54.

Rating: F. Booker is a former World Champion and would win his first World Title in WWE about four months after this. For some reason, he’s losing in a gross comedy match to a guy named the Boogeyman. Like I said: this was a very strange time for the company and this is a very good example of why. Also, was there any reason that this wasn’t one on one?

We recap Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus (good again and in the same reign with the Women’s Title from last year). Mickie debuted a few months ago as an obsessed fan who had a big crush on Trish. That was too much for Trish who told her to calm down, earning her a kick to the head and shouts of “DO YOU LOVE ME NOW” from Mickie. It got even worse as Mickie kidnapped Trish’s friend Ashley and laid out Trish during the save attempt, ending with a kiss to the unconscious Trish.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is defending. Lawler thinks Mickie is crazy but JR says Lawler would date her anyway, even if she’s a bit old for Jerry (JR: “She’s in her early 20s.” Lawler: “Can she cook?”). Mickie slaps her in the back of the head to start so Trish elbows her right in the jaw. The Thesz press (JR: “Maybe the Louise Thesz press.”) has Mickie in more trouble and Trish throws her down, only to have Mickie land in the splits. Trish kicks the post by mistake and Mickie wraps it around the post, followed by dropkicking it out for two.

The fans are behind Mickie as I guess they don’t go for the talented blonde bombshell look. There’s a half crab to stay on the leg before Mickie wraps it up in the ropes and stomps down on it. Now it’s a LET’S GO MICKIE chant and the fans boo as Trish comes back with a headscissors. Even JR isn’t sure why Trish is being booed so badly, though it could be the whole gorgeous brunette in a very short skirt which keeps flying up and down thing. Mickie’s hurricanrana out of the corner is countered with a sweet sitout powerbomb.

The Stratusfaction (springboard bulldog) is broken up with a grab between the legs, followed by Mickie licking her hand (edited out of most DVD versions). Trish blasts her in the face with a forearm and tries the Stratusfaction but the knee gives out (this is also edited though it might have been a bad attempt at selling the knee injury instead of a botch), allowing Mickie to kick her in the head for the pin and the title at 8:49. JR gets in a great line with “the nutjob has won the title.”

Rating: B-. Good stuff here with an actual story and two women who can actually work a match instead of models who have no idea what they’re doing. These two had a good, long feud with Mickie eventually becoming the new face of the division due to Trish and Lita retiring later in the year. This is still one of the best Divas matches ever and pretty easily the best of this era.

Vince is with the other three McMahons and decides to lead them in a prayer. Vince: “God, I don’t like you and you don’t like me.” He brags about his physique and wealth before promising to destroy God’s favorite wrestler tonight.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Casket match. Henry destroyed Undertaker AS NO ONE HAD DONE BEFORE to set this up. This was rumored to be Angle vs. Undertaker but why do something awesome when you can do something boring? At least we get the full druid entrance for the casket, plus the classic story of “I’m not scared of the dark” from Henry. I say classic because EVERY HEEL EVER SAYS THAT TO UNDERTAKER. Undertaker’s entrance goes so long that Cole is able to go through every match in the Streak.

Henry jumps Undertaker during the nearly three minute entrance and pounds him down using big clubbing blows. Yes I said BIG CLUBBING BLOWS. Undertaker tries running him over but a clothesline puts him right back down. They head outside with both guys going into the steps. Slow progress so far. Back in and Henry breaks up Old School and chokes Undertaker near the open casket.

Anything goes though so Undertaker hits him low for the break. Old School works the second time around and Henry misses a charge, sending him down into the casket. Undertaker joins him and they choke each other a lot until Henry gets punched back into the ring. Isn’t that bad strategy for Undertaker? There’s the World’s Strongest Slam and Henry covers out of instinct.

Another trip to the casket goes nowhere so Henry pounds away with even more right hands. Since those don’t work well enough, Mark goes to the middle rope and gets powerbombed down. Not quite the Last Ride but it’s as close as Undertaker was going to get with Henry. Mark is sent to the floor and takes the Taker Dive, followed by a Tombstone to put him in the casket for the win at 9:27.

Rating: D-. This was as going through the motions as you were going to get with neither guy looking like they were trying with any sort of effort. That being said though, if you were scheduled to get Kurt Angle and got Mark Henry instead, how fired up would you be? Bad match here as it was nearly nine minutes of punching and forearms until the ending.

We recap Vince vs. Shawn which I covered earlier. After the grow up line set him off, Vince sent Shane and the Spirit Squad (five male cheerleaders in an odd gimmick choice) after Shawn and even forced him to join his special club. As in the one that involved Vince lower his pants and a kiss from the other person. Figure out the details for yourself.

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

No holds barred. JR apologizes in advance for being so biased in this match. Oh thanks for the warning Jimmy. Vince shows off a framed cover of his Muscle and Fitness Magazine cover, which really is amazing considering he’s 60 here. Shawn doesn’t want to wait and sends Vince over the table, choking him with an electric cord. The fans want Bret (maybe he could pick this show up a bit) but have to settle for the framed picture (minus the glass) going around Vince’s head.

Cue the Spirit Squad to take Shawn out, including their five man lifting slam. Nicky (later known as Dolph Ziggler and the only one who went anywhere) sends Kenny to the top for a guillotine legdrop but Shawn moves away. Their megaphone goes upside the Squad’s heads and Kenny is sent flying over the top onto the rest of the team.

Vince finally gets back into it with shoulders and choking, first with hands and then with the belt. See? He’s versatile! Vince is all fired up and runs around in a circle before tuning up the band. JR: “He can’t carry a tune.” The kick is caught though and it’s the forearm into the nipup. That means it’s time for Vince to get whipped with his own belt (oh the irony) as JR is even more annoying than usual, ranting about how Vince is a businessman with no heart.

Shane comes in with a kendo stick to break up the real Sweet Chin Music and pulls out some handcuffs. Vince would rather lower his pants though, only to have Shawn hit Shane in the ribs and send him face first into his dad. This is one of those moments that makes you embarrassed to be a wrestling fan but you have to expect it from Vince. Now Shane gets cuffed to the middle rope and Shawn takes the key away for safekeeping and even mocks Shane’s trademark dance. He was always good at that thing.

Back in and Shawn hits a GREAT chair shot to the head (Lawler: “CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN!”) to bust the boss open. Sweet Chin Music is canceled because Shawn would rather pull out a ladder. The top of said ladder goes into Vince’s face and this year it’s JR making the Home Depot joke. That’s still not enough for the superkick though as Shawn would rather bring in three trashcans. Oh and a table of course. You can see another can, ladder and table in case we have another wild brawl later.

Some can shots are followed by Shawn putting Vince on the table and climbing the ladder. That’s not enough though so Shawn climbs down and pulls out the big ladder for the elbow (after some crotch chops) through a trashcan through Vince. Sweet Chin Music FINALLY puts Vince away at 18:27.

Rating: D. This went on WAY too long as the last six or seven minutes were just Shawn beating Vince up with no offense from McMahon whatsoever. It’s entertaining in a perverse violent way but at the same time, how long can you see Shawn hit Vince with various metal objects before it gets dull? Even JR was saying end it already. Cut out five minutes of this and it’s way better as this was six minutes longer than Money in the Bank. That’s too much no matter how you look at it. On top of that, this led to a DX reunion and a one sided feud that went on for another five months, even after this total destruction.

Vince flips Shawn off from the stretcher in a perfect touch.

Wrestlemania XXIII is in Detroit.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match. Rey Mysterio had dedicated his Royal Rumble performance to the late Eddie Guerrero, last eliminating Randy Orton to win. Orton wasn’t happy with this and played on Rey’s emotions by bringing up Eddie’s name and saying he would burn forever. This made Rey put his title shot on the line at No Way Out 2006 where Orton defeated him. Smackdown General Manager Teddy Long put Mysterio into the title match anyway to make it a triple threat against champion Kurt Angle (who won the vacant title in a battle royal due to Batista’s injury). This gets the music video treatment.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

Angle is defending and P.O.D. plays Mysterio to the ring. No superhero again this year as Rey has an Aztec eagle theme instead. Orton takes the belt from the referee to blast Kurt in the face and runs Rey over for two. Kurt, in black boots for some reason, comes back in with a German suplex to both guys at once. Rey is down so Randy has to take Kurt’s full wrath. This was a great period for Angle as he was on fire and really feeling the Wrestling Machine persona.

The ankle lock attempt is abandoned as Angle has to deal with Mysterio, who headscissors him to the middle rope. This time the ankle lock goes on though as Kurt counters the 619 but Orton gets on the apron with a chair so the referee doesn’t see Rey tap (what a hero: giving up five minutes in when he’s trying to honor his friend’s memory). Now it’s time to unleash the Germans with Angle not even leaving his feet as he throws Mysterio.

An Angle Slam puts Rey on the floor and now Randy gets caught in the hold to make him tap behind the referee’s back. Rey comes back in with a springboard legdrop for two on the champ but he sends Mysterio shoulder first into the post. An RKO out of nowhere (he even did it back then) gets two on Kurt with the ankle delaying the cover. Ever the rocket scientist, Orton goes up top on a bad ankle against Kurt Angle, who gladly runs up the corner for the belly to belly superplex.

Rey’s springboard seated senton gets two on Angle and Randy throws the champ to the floor. His powerbomb into a neckbreaker (a cool move I wish he would use more often) gets two on Rey but a quick Angle Slam gets the same on Orton. Rey armdrags the champ to the floor and it’s the 619 and West Coast Pop to pin Orton for the title at 9:25.

Rating: C+. Where’s the rest of the match? The World Title change at Wrestlemania can’t even get ten minutes but Boogeyman vs. Booker T./Sharmell and the next match can get four minutes each? Mysterio winning is a cool moment but this should have been just beating Orton while Angle fights Undertaker in a classic. At least we had a cool moment though and a good way to cap off Eddie’s legacy while giving Rey a surprise title win.

Vickie and Chavo Guerrero come out to celebrate.

HHH and John Cena are getting ready in the back and JR talks about Cena being defiant like his fans. Fans: “CENA SUCKS!”

Candice Michelle vs. Torrie Wilson

They’ve both been in Playboy before so here’s a pillow fight on a bed. JR: “This next match will not resemble Gotch and Hackenschmidt.” Of note: Torrie comes out to what would become Laycool’s music and carrying a puppy. Lilian also can’t pronounce Torrie’s hometown of Boise, Idaho. They brawl to start and Torrie turns the bed over. There goes Candice’s dress but she still chokes Torrie with her legs while bending over the top rope. Candice drops a knee and cuts Torrie’s dress off with some scissors. She rubs a copy of Playboy in Torrie’s face but charges into a rollup to give Torrie the pin at 3:55.

Rating: F. Again, this got about four minutes or nearly half the time of a World Title match. That’s really their best use of Wrestlemania time? As has been the case in the past, I get the appeal and thinking here but this really didn’t need to be the next to last match at the biggest show of the year.

Clips of the Wrestlemania press conference from earlier in the week. HHH called this the easiest match of his life because sooner or later, they all bow down to the king. He won a quick tournament to get the shot.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. John Cena

HHH is challenging and comes out first with a full on Conan the Barbarian look, complete with throne rising through the stage, fur pelt, and of course a bottle of water. Just like Kane in 1998 though, his entrance is trumped almost instantly. We see an old newsreel style video of Chicago in the Great Depression. Gangsters were the only people living the American Dream and a group in Chicago lived harder than anybody. To survive, those people needed three things: Hustle, Loyalty and Respect.

The stage rises up again and a 1930s car with gangsters hanging off the side (one of which is CM Punk) holding Tommy guns. Cena’s music hits and the booing gets even louder. He comes out in a black trench coat and fedora before firing off a Tommy gun of his own. This isn’t the best received entrance but it certainly makes an impression. With all that out of the way, we get the big match intros and it’s time to go. Well after we hear all of HHH’s nicknames of course.

Feeling out process to start with HHH grabbing a hammerlock and throwing Cena to the ground. A kick to the back sends him into the corner as this is all HHH in the very early going. The fans are all over Cena with some very bad words so he tries a quick FU, only to eat a right hand to the jaw to put him down again. To mix things up a bit, HHH throws him out to the floor as they’re taking their time here.

A backdrop of all things gets two for the champ as Lawler says Cena might not be the best wrestler but he can fight. JR jumps to the champ’s defense as he throws HHH into the corner and puts on a chinlock to take a breather. Fans: “YOU CAN’T WRESTLE!” A big whip sends HHH over the corner and out to the floor in a big crash, followed by a slam to put HHH on the ramp.

Back in and they start slugging it out, followed by HHH taking it to the floor again for a whip through the steps. Things slow down with the HHH knee to the mat, followed by one heck of a clothesline for two. Back to back neckbreakers get the same and HHH is as over as free beer in a frat house. JR tries to get over Monarch of the Mat as a new nickname for HHH as he cranks on Cena’s head. A sleeper takes Cena down and turns into a chinlock.

Back up and Cena takes his head off with a clothesline and follows with two more. A powerslam gets two and the ProtoBomb looks to set up the Shuffle, only to have HHH pop up with a spinebuster. It’s back to the sleeper but Cena quickly suplexes out and now the Shuffle connects. The STFU (the U would eventually be dropped) goes on but HHH is too close to the ropes. With that not working, Cena tries the FU but gets rammed into the referee. HHH uses the opportunity to get in a low blow, which hits Cena and the referee at the same time.

That means it’s time for a sledgehammer to the face for two, because a 6’4 270lb man HITTING YOU IN THE FACE WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER is only going to knock you out for two seconds at a time. HHH loads up the Pedigree (“I hit him in the face with a hammer as hard as I could. Maybe my wrestling move can beat him!”) but Cena reverses into the FU (looking like he’s been out there five minutes and hasn’t been touched) for a near fall. A high cross body misses and it’s back to the Pedigree but Cena reverses into the STFU to eventually retain at 22:04.

Rating: C. Cena was coming but he really wasn’t there yet. This is similar to Rock vs. Austin back in 1999 where the first match wasn’t great (though certainly not bad) but the rematch the next month was WAY better (partially due to Edge being added to spice things up a bit). The match didn’t work for the most part though and that sledgehammer shot was WAY more than I could handle. I repeat: he hit Cena in the face WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER FOR TWO.

That being said, this is the match that made Cena the biggest star in the company. He had always been a big deal and the top star of Raw, but this is the match that made him special. Until then he had been living in Batista’s shadow, but now it’s all about Cena and his in ring abilities would mature to back it up. The match is good, though much more important than anything else.

Highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show just does not hold up. It felt like something used to set up stuff for the future which is fine, but aside from Edge vs. Foley and a good Money in the Bank, what is there on here of value? We have a pretty lame Tag Team Title match where the titles changed hands the next night, a forgettable US Title change, Boogeyman vs. Booker T. (for all intents and purposes), a good Women’s Title match, a REALLY bad casket match, a way too long squash, a World Title change that was far too short though memorable and a pillow fight. Does that sound like Wrestlemania to you?

Now that being said, this isn’t the worst show ever as they kept most of the bad stuff short. The long bad match with Vince vs. Shawn certainly had some good moments with some of Vince’s head trauma and the sheer amusement of seeing the boss get beaten up. Basically, as usual, this show needed another edit and to have about an hour cut out. If you lose some of the short matches entirely (Booker T. vs. Boogeyman to start. Do that nonsense on Raw.), trim off some of Vince’s destruction and add it to the triple threat and cut the show down by at least half an hour, it’s WAY better in a hurry.

This show fell into one of the most common traps for Wrestlemania: trying to squeeze in too much stuff, including a lot of stuff that really didn’t need to be here. There were eleven matches on the card which really is too much. It made for a lot of short and forgettable matches, plus a handful that are actually good. That doesn’t really make up for a good Wrestlemania, though there are worse. We’ll go with this one on the very bottom of the good list list but with the weaker stuff on here being much more forgettable and dull than bad.

Ratings Comparison

Big Show/Kane vs. Carlito/Chris Masters

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D+

Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Ric Flair vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: D+

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Original: A

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A

Boogeyman vs. Booker T/Sharmell

Original: F

2013 Redo: F

2015 Redo: F

Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D-

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: D

Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C+

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

Original: F

2013 Redo: F

2015 Redo: F

HHH vs. John Cena

Original: A-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C

Overall Rating

Original: B

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

In the first one I said it wasn’t something I’d want to see again. Apparently that was accurate as the rating PLUNGED on a second viewing.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/29/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-22-i-barely-remember-this-show/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/31/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxii-hhh-does-it-again/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6