Smackdown
Date: November 29, 2011
Location: Time Warner Cable Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

This is a special edition of the show as it’s airing live on Tuesday. Also it’s the holiday episode, which I think is a catch all for Thanksgiving and Christmas, which is next month but whatever. Foley is the host for the evening and we have a world title match in a cage with Henry vs. Bryan. Let’s get to it.

The show opens with fake snow and Josh saying there was a snow storm that started a few seconds ago.

Here’s Foley. There’s a Christmas set. Aren’t they pulling this out a little early? I mean we have Christmas music, Foley in a Santa suit, Christmas lights at the table and all that jazz. He points out that it’s still November but he’s a Christmas fanatic. What Good Old JR is to barbecue sauce and what the Ultimate Warrior is to arm tassels, he is to Christmas. For us tonight, we have a world title match between Tiny Tim and the Ghost of Christmas Fear inside a steel cage. There’s also a miracle on 34th street fight, an over the top rope battle royal where the winner gets their Christmas wish granted…and Michael Cole.

Foley can’t get around the contract and Cole’s legal team, but he can pick how Cole has to dress. Cue Cole in a Rudolph costume. Josh is in an elf outfit so he can’t complain much. Foley also brings out Booker, who is also in a Santa outfit. Foley asks for a Spinarooni to make up for This is your Life from a few weeks ago. It’s set to the Dradle Song because they both spin. The hat comes off but the fans cheer for it so all is well.

Cue Cody all in white. Well mostly in white. He says that he’s seeing clearly now and says that he’s not going to let someone take up the time when that person can’t perform in the ring anymore. Booker says he can still go and calls Cody son. Foley cuts Cody off and makes Booker vs. Cody for later. No word on if this is for the title or not. First up, let’s have a Divas match.

Alicia Fox vs. Brie Bella vs. Nikki Bella vs. Natalya vs. Kaitlyn vs. AJ vs. Tamina vs. Aksana

This is a mistletoe on a pole match, which means you have to climb up and get the mistletoe. The winner gets something they can cash in before Christmas. Brie wins at 57 seconds after climbing on Nikki. I have no idea if I got all the competitors or not, not do I care.

Foley says Brie gets to kiss any superstar she wants before Christmas. Ok then.

Justin Gabriel vs. Jinder Mahal

Mahal runs down Christmas before the show starts. We hear about how Mahal has hates DiBiase for giving away all his money. Cue DiBiase in a Santa hat with a bag. He throws out WWE gifts to fans. The distraction lets Gabriel hit an STO and the 450 for the pin at 2:15.

Foley is learning the Siva Tao from the Usos when Piper comes up. He wants a new straightjacket for Christmas. Horny and some good looking woman are having egg nog. Dusty Rhodes is here. He offers Horny a picture of Lagy Gaga and something about sandwich. Dusty says there are some strange people here and turns around into Goldust. There’s something awesome about that. Oh the chick is Maxine.

Piper is talking to someone when Otunga comes up with the coffee cup and has an announcement from Johnny Ace. The holiday music has to be in the public domain. Eh we might as well shut the party down now. Foley and Piper are like dude…..you are in WAY over your head. Foley puts Otunga in the street fight tonight against Randy Orton.

We recap Booker vs. Cody. Booker is in the back when Cody jumps him with the belt, injuring his arm.

Kofi Kingston vs. Tyson Kidd

This should be good. Booker vs. Cody is officially off. Tyson has hair now. They start off pretty fast and both guys go down off a double clothesline. Kidd hits the floor to avoid Trouble in Paradise but Kofi hits a dropkick out there anyway. Kofi gets in Cole’s face for some reason and steals the reindeer hat. Kidd gets in a shot and somehow this isn’t a double countout yet. Kofi puts the hat and nose on, finishing with the top rope cross body at 3:33.

Rating: C. Total comedy match and that’s fine. The idea of the reindeer flying to end it was good but we need to get Bourne back already so Kofi can defend the title instead of just holding it. I think he’s due back tomorrow or something so it shouldn’t be that big of a deal. Decent match but with more time it would have been even better.

Kaitlyn tells Horny he should wish to be taller. Teddy and Sheamus are talking and Sheamus asks what the winner of the battle royal (20 man) gets. Teddy doesn’t know but whatever it is, it’ll be worth it. Cue Aksana who has mistletoe with her. And Aksana eats it instead of kissing Teddy.

Randy Orton vs. David Otunga

This is a street fight. There are a bunch of Christmas trees at ringside as well as presents that slide around the floor. Otunga is in red shorts now instead of his normal trunks. Randy throws him into a bunch of trees and then the announce table. There’s a tray of cookies there so Orton has a bite, gives a face as if to say not bad, then smacks Otunga with the tray.

He grabs a wreath off the post, shouts HO HO HO in Otunga’s face (legit made me laugh) and sends him into the steps. Otunga goes under the ring and finds a kendo stick made to look like a candy cane. Orton takes him down though and beats Otunga with it as Otunga runs. Orton picks up a present and chucks it at David’s head to knock him down.

They go up the stage and Otunga goes into the big tree. There’s an elevated DDT to the floor but Barrett runs out for the beatdown. It would have helped a lot had Orton not looked over his shoulder just before the DDT. The big boot he takes Orton down with gets two and Otunga’s time is measured in seconds. There’s the finishing sequence and the RKO ends this at 7:38.

Rating: C+. This was meant to be a totally fun match and that’s all it was ever supposed to be. Barrett running in even advances the storyline a bit and it helped things somewhat. I had a very good time with this but I’m a total Christmas geek so I’m about as biased as you can be here. Fun match and it worked all around.

Henry is getting taped up and Teddy comes in. Mark yells at him and says he’ll take his anger out on Bryan.

Battle Royal

There are twenty people in this and I’ll let you figure out who all is in it yourselves. I see Mahal, Slater, the Usos, Jackson, Sheamus, O’Neil, Watson, DiBiase, Hunico, Reks, Gabriel, Kidd and Horny. Sheamus is by far the biggest name in this. Hawkins and Young are in there. Young is out quickly as is I think Jey Uso. JTG is in this and as soon as I say this he’s eliminated. DiBiase and Gabriel try to get Hawkins out but can’t quite do it. Kofi and Yoshi Tatsu are in this and I think that’s everyone.

There goes Hawkins at the hands of Big Zeke. We get the showdown with Jackson and Sheamus with with pale One beating him down. Jackson sets for a big clotheline but Sheamus ducks to put him out. Johnny Curtis was the 20th guy in there and Sheamus puts him out easily. Kofi puts out the other Uso but Kidd dropkicks Kingston out seconds later.

Tatsu is gone and Kidd skins the cat and pulls out DiBiase at the same time. Horny slips out from the floor and pulls Kidd out. We take a break with about 8 people left. Back with eight people left: O’Neil, Hunico, Gabriel, Mahal, Reks, Sheamus, Slater and Horny. Gabriel tries to jump on the apron but Mahal knocks him to the floor. Clash of the Titus puts Reks down but he barks too much and Sheamus puts him out. Dang it I wanted him to wish for NXT to end.

Slater and Mahal jump Sheamus but he explodes and beats everyone down. Everyone goes to the floor through the ropes and beats Sheamus down. No one is in the ring at the moment. Ok so now everyone but Sheamus is in. It’s Mahal, Hunico, Slater and Reks. Mahal says we need to go find Horny. They all pick a side of the ring and dive under the ring. Mahal catches him and it’s 4-1. Slater shoves him down as does Hunico.

They all carefully stomp him but before the toss him Sheamus is back in. There goes Reks and Hucio is out as well. Mahal is out and a Brogue Kick puts Slater down. Ok so it’s Horny vs. Sheamus. Oh good grief. Horny says bring it on and Sheamus isn’t sure what to say. He tells Horny to get out but Horny tells him to get out. He kicks Sheamus in the shins but Sheamus grabs him by the beard and starts putting him out but Horny grabs the top rope. Sheamus gets on the apron and detatches him but Horny won’t get off the apron. Sheamus tries to talk to him and they hug, but Horny shoves him off for the win at 13:25.

Rating: C+. This was fun until the end, when it just got stupid. Why in the world would have put Horny over here for the sake of a comedy bit? Well at least this is for an obscure prize instead of something like a title shot so it could be a lot worse. Ok maybe not a lot worse but it could be worse.

Sheamus teases anger but smiles and Horny celebrates.

Ricardo hits on the Bellas at the party as Piper talks to Dusty. They’re talking about Cena and Dusty thinks it’s ridiculous to think the fans are going to get to Cena. Santa comes up and sits down for Horny to ask for his wish. There’s something about celery, Jonas Salk, Peter Falk and chalk. Foley has it wrong and it’s that Horny wants to TALK. They hug and Horny can speak. He goes around using his new powers and calls Vickie a grandma. Foley pops up in a Cactus Jack shirt and Santa is gone. Piper and Dream have no idea what’s going on and I don’t really want the answer.

AJ comes up to wish Bryan luck. Bryan tells Striker he’s ready.

The cage is lowered.

The Slammys are in two weeks.

Smackdown World Title: Mark Henry vs. Daniel Bryan

We even get big match intros. The winner gets Big Show at TLC. Bryan runs for the corner almost immediately. You can win by pin, submission or escape. Bryan keeps trying to run and avoid corners. He wisely goes for the bad leg so Henry throws him into the cage. He splashes Bryan against the wall and we take a break. Back with Henry still dominating. We get a clip from during the break with Henry pulling Bryan back and in essence sling shotting him into the cage.

Time for a nerve hold to waste some time. Bryan fires off a dropkick but Henry kills him with a clothesline. The leg is wearing out though as he kind of falls into the cover for two. Bryan wakes up and goes crazy on the ankle, getting Henry down on the mat and screaming in pain. Bryan climbs but Henry makes the catch, crotching Bryan on the ropes. Henry goes for the door but Bryan grabs the ankle again. Bryan fires off a dropkick to the knee and hooks the LeBell Lock but Henry powers out of it.

Off to an ankle lock and the place is really getting into this. Henry kicks Bryan off but he can’t get up to follow up on it. The challenger goes up but gets his tights partially pulled down. Now Henry goes up but Bryan follows him. He gets over the top but Henry grabs the arm and pulls him back in. There’s some good drama in this. Henry tries a powerbomb out of the corner but Bryan climbs over the top. Henry pulls him back in again and headbutts him into the World’s Strongest Slam from the top. And that takes care of Bryan at 11:15.

Rating: B. Good main event here and the drama towards the end was solid. I don’t think anyone had any realistic reason to believe that Bryan was going to win and they shouldn’t have. He’s a midcard guy getting his first chance in there with the big boys and he’s not ready for the title yet. Still though, very solid main event and Henry gets a win that he’s been lacking recently.

Overall Rating: A-. WWE is on a ROLL right now with their TV shows. Last night was great and tonight was as well. The idea that seems to work for them is to not linger on stuff too long and most importantly, not go back to things over and over again. This show was fine with all of its holiday themes and I liked it a lot. It could have been better, but if they were hoping to show that Smackdown can work live, they nailed it here. Good stuff again.

Results
Brie Bella won a Mistletoe On A Pole Match
Justin Gabriel b. Jinder Mahal – 450 Splash
Kofi Kingston b. Tyson Kidd – Top Rope Cross Body
Randy Orton b. David Otunga – RKO
Hornswoggle won a battle royal last eliminating Sheamus
Mark Henry b. Daniel Bryan – World’s Strongest Slam from the middle rope

 

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

 

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Survivor Series 2013
Date: November 24, 2013
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is one of those shows that hasn’t had the best build but doesn’t look that bad when you look at it. The main events are Cena defending against Del Rio in a match few people are interested in and Big Show challenging Orton in a match even fewer were asking for. Other than that there’s a big tag team Survivor Series match and Punk/Bryan vs. the Wyatts. In other words, it should be a decent show but the interest just isn’t there. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz

Miz turned on Kofi in a tag match on Raw to set this up. He offers a handshake to start but Kofi is too smart for that. We get a surprisingly fast start with Kofi trying to get a grip on Miz but settling for a rollup for two. They trade about three rollups each for three in a very nice chain wrestling sequence until we reach a stalemate. Miz goes for the Figure Four but has to duck Trouble in Paradise. Kofi sends him to the floor for a nice dive and we take a break. Back with Kofi holding a chinlock before getting two off a cross body.

Kingston pounds away in the corner but Miz sneaks underneath him and scores with a big boot to the face. Kofi fights out and hits a double stomp to the chest followed by some nice dropkicks. The Boom Drop looks to set up Trouble In Paradise but Miz ducks, only to get caught in the SOS for two. Another Figure Four attempt is countered into a small package for two and Kofi’s high cross body gets the same. Two low knees to the face/chest put Miz down but he ducks the third and grabs a rollup for the pin at 8:40.

Rating: B-. This was one of the better opening matches they’ve had in a long time. The reversal sequences were very fast paced and other than a few moments here and there the action barely stopped. Kofi losing here doesn’t hurt him at all and Miz gets a win to help boost his heel turn. Everybody wins. Well except Kofi but you get the idea.

The opening video talks about how survival is a must before transitioning to your usual hype video for the world title matches. Nothing special.

Rey Mysterio/Usos/Goldust/Cody Rhodes vs. Real Americans/Shield

Elimination rules of course. Ricardo Rodriguez is on Spanish commentary. Colter does his usual routine before the match before attempting to twerk because what would a wrestling show be without that? Cody and Ambrose get things going as this is the Shield’s debut anniversary. They trade waistlocks to start but Cody takes over with some right hands, only to have Ambrose pound away in the corner. Rhodes comes back with even more punches as Cole tells us that Friday is Lawler, Colter and JBL’s birthday. Ambrose pounds away in the corner but gets in an argument with the referee, allowing Cody to get a quick rollup for the elimination.

Everything breaks down with the Usos cleaning house and hitting dives to take out all of their opponents. We settle down with Goldust vs. Rollins but it’s quickly off to Swagger to drive Goldust into the corner. Jack takes him down and Cesaro comes in with a knee drop for two. Cole messes up his history by saying Andre the Giant was the sole survivor of the first Survivor Series match (that would be the main event or the fourth Survivor Series match ever).

Goldust gets a backslide for two on Cesaro and scores with a powerslam. A jawbreaker puts both guys down but Cesaro is able to tag first. Swagger comes in but misses the Vader Bomb, allowing for the hot tag off to Mysterio. He easily takes Swagger down to set up the 619 and it’s a superkick from Jimmy followed by the Superfly Splash from Jey to eliminate Swagger.

Cesaro immediately comes in with an uppercut to Jey to set up the Cesaro Swing. The fans count along with the swings but it’s only 15 revolutions. Jimmy comes in without a tag and gets a swing of his own 19 revolution swing. Cody gets the tag and scores with a sunset flip out of nowhere for the elimination, leaving us with Rollins/Reigns vs. all five members of the other team.

Reigns comes in to work on Cody’s arm but it’s off to Jey instead. Roman easily tags him into the Shield corner and the two remaining members take over with the alternating tags. Rollins comes in with a top rope fist to Jey’s jaw and we hit the chinlock. Jey fights up and backdrops Rollins over the top rope, allowing for the tag off to Jimmy. A Samoan Drop gets two on Reigns and the running Umaga attack in the corner keeps him in trouble. Jimmy goes up top but has to headbutt Reigns down. He jumps down but the spear is enough for a quick elimination.

Cody comes in with a missile dropkick followed by the moonsault press for two on Rollins. Cross Rhodes connects but Reigns made a blind tag, allowing him to spear Cody in half for the elimination, leaving us at 3-2. Jey comes in and takes Reigns to the floor, sending him into the barricade and post. Back in and Rollins makes a quick tag to set up the Black Out (running one foot curb stomp) to eliminate Jey, leaving us with Reigns/Rollins vs. Goldust/Mysterio.

It’s Rey vs. Rollins with Mysterio getting in a quick dropkick, only to go up top and get caught in the Tree of Woe. Back to Reigns who sends Mysterio out to the floor but Rey makes it back in at 9. Reigns’ spear goes into the post by mistake but Rollins knocks Goldust to the floor to prevent the hot tag. Rey grabs a rollup out of nowhere to get rid of Rollins and make it 2-1.

Rollins stomps on Mysterio a bit before leaving, giving Roman a big advantage. Rey slides through Reigns’ legs and catches him with an enziguri before sending him into the corner with a drop toehold. There’s the hot tag to Goldust who gets two off a spinebuster. He pounds down right hands to Roman in the corner before a powerslam gets two. Reigns comes right back by countering the bulldog into a spear and it’s one on one. Rey tries the 619 but gets speared in half as well, giving Reigns his star making performance with his fourth elimination for the pin at 23:30.

Rating: B-. Total star making performance by Reigns here as he was completely unstoppable out there. Save for a meaningless fall over an Uso, Reigns literally got every elimination for his team. From the beginning I’ve said Reigns was the star of the team and if this isn’t proof of that, I’m not sure what is.

Orton interrupts an Authority meeting and wants to make sure they’re all on the same page to start. The Authority talks down to him before telling him to go prove his worth on his own.

Intercontinental Title: Curtis Axel vs. Big E. Langston

This is the rematch from when Axel lost the title on Monday. Axel grabs a headlock to start but Langston easily powers out. They trade leapfrogs until Langston runs him over with ease. Axel sends him to the apron and forearms Langston down to the floor for his first advantage.

The fans chant You Can’t Wrestle, presumably at Axel, showing that Boston fans aren’t that bright. Axel hits a Hennig neck snap and puts on a chinlock only to have Langston power out and suplex Axel down. There’s the Warrior Splash but Axel kicks the knee and gets two off a PerfectPlex. Not that it matters as Big E. grabs Curtis for the Big Ending to retain at 6:00.

Rating: D+. Well at least it was short. This was one of the least important title matches I can think of in a long time as I don’t even think Axel believed he was taking the title here. Nothing to see here and basically it was an extended squash for Langston. That’s all it should have been too.

Post match Langston cuts a promo that would make Mick Foley proud, mentioning Boston three times in about 20 seconds.

AJ gives a semi-maniacal speech to her teammates which they take as her saying she’s better than them. AJ says yeah she’s better because they’re just here because they’re not good enough to be on Total Divas. The promo basically buries the entire division by pointing out how worthless all of them are. Rebellion is imminent even though AJ gets a great line: “Get your own show by stealing this one.”

Team AJ vs. Total Divas

AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka/Summer Rae/Alicia Fox/Rosa Mendes/Kaitlyn/Aksana

Bella Twins/Funkadactyls/JoJo/Eva Marie/Natalya

The Total Divas come out in a big line to the show’s theme song because they’re SO close on that show. Naomi starts with Alicia and rolls her up for a pin in just over a minute. Rosa avoids a Rear View but gets caught in a double suplex by the Funkadactyls. Mendes comes back with a quick kick to the face to eliminate Cameron, only to be taken out by a Bella Buster from Naomi.

It’s 6-5 now and here’s Summer to dance a bit. Nikki does the Worm and we’re in a dance off. Another Bella Buster gets rid of Summer and it’s time for Eva Marie who is booed out of the building. Kaitlyn only needs the gutbuster to get rid of Eva and it’s off to Naomi again. Another gutbuster takes Naomi out as we aren’t even five minutes into the match. Brie avoids a spear from Kaitlyn and takes her out with a missile dropkick.

Aksana comes in and pins Brie (huh?) after an AJ cheap shot and a spinebuster. Nikki comes in and puts Aksana in a Torture Rack backbreaker for a pin. I’m not skipping anything between these falls by the way. Tamina headbutts Nikki down a few times but the Bella comes back with an enziguri. Natalya was taken down by something the camera missed so it’s off to JoJo vs. Tamina.

Snuka toys with her but gets rolled up for two, only to kick JoJo in the face. There’s a Samoan drop for no cover because AJ wants and gets the pin. Natalya is driven into the corner by Tamina but the monster misses a charge and gets caught in the Sharpshooter. AJ tries a save but can’t get there in time and Tamina taps. Natalya reverses a quick AJ rollup into the Sharpshooter for the submission, leaving her and Nikki as the survivors at 11:30.

Rating: D-. Other than their looks, nothing was good about this. The whole thing was a way to show us that Total Divas are AWESOME while making it clear that most of them are models who look good in little outfits but have no business EVER being in a ring. AJ continues to be exactly right about everything she says but WWE has decided that the reality chicks are the heroes, no matter what.

Orton tries to get Charles Robinson on his side to no avail.

Expert panel looks to talk a bit but Ryback cuts them off. He says he’s the talent here and issues an open challenge to anyone on the roster. Here’s his answer.

Mark Henry vs. Ryback

Henry is shaved bald now and shoves Ryback around with ease. Ryback is thrown around again but gets taken down by a shot to the knee. Henry shoves Ryback to the floor for a six count but Ryback comes back in with a headbutt. Some JYD all fours headbutts get two for Henry but Ryback takes the knee out again. We hit the chinlock on Mark before he fights up with relative ease. The World’s Strongest Slam is countered and Ryback spinebusters him down. The Meathook is countered with something resembling a cross body and the World’s Strongest Slam gets the pin at 4:47.

Rating: D. This was as stereotypical of a power match as you could have ever asked for. Henry didn’t look good here and was way too aloof out there rather than being the mosnter that got him over for good. Ryback is desperately in need of a change after all these losses he’s suffered in the last year.

Now the panel talks a bit.

We recap Cena vs. Del Rio. Nothing special to say here: Cena won the title last month and this is the rematch. Cena opts for no arm brace.

World Heavyweight Championship: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio

After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Cena grabs a waistlock which gets him nowhere so Del Rio puts on a headlock to take him down to the mat. Del Rio fights free and gets two off a snap suplex before going to an armbar. They head outside for a bit with Cena going shoulder first into the steps. Back in and a top rope forearm to Cena’s shoulder gets two and we hit the armbar again. This is a really slow pace so far with Del Rio talking a lot of trash and not following up on most of his offense.

Cena starts a comeback but misses a shoulder block to keep things right where they have been all match. They head outside again with Cena being sent into the steps again, allowing Del Rio to do You Can’t See Me. Back inside and we hit the armbar again as we’re somehow approaching ten minutes into this match. Cena tries a comeback with his finishing sequence but gets caught in the Backstabber for two.

Del Rio goes up top again but gets dropkicked out of the air to put both guys down again. Cena’s finishing sequence is broken up again by a thumb to the eye and Alberto gets two off a DDT. Alberto is sent to the floor and has to dive in to beat the count. Cena does the finishing sequence at triple speed but the AA is countered into a German suplex for two but the corner enziguri misses.

The STF is countered so Cena grabs a tornado DDT for another near fall. Del Rio takes him down again and stands around a lot before putting John in the Tree of Woe. That goes nowhere as Cena avoids a charge to send Del Rio into the post. The top rope Fameasser gets two but the STF is broken by a rope. Del Rio’s low superkick gets two and a neckbreaker from Cena gets the same. Del Rio grabs the armbreaker out of nowhere but Cena counters into a powerbomb to escape. Another armbreaker is countered and the AA retains Cena’s title at 18:45.

Rating: D+. The lack of drama crippled this one for me. There was zero doubt for me as to who was going to win and the only question was whether it would be the AA or the STF. Del Rio just isn’t a threat to Cena at all and he never has been. Why WWE insists on going with that match time after time is beyond me. Put Alberto against Langston for awhile to give Big E. a rub or whatever, but keep him away from Cena.

Santino and R-Truth play with toys. Los Matadores, Fandango and JOHNNY ACE come in for some unfunny comedy. Ok Ace was funny at least.

We recap the Wyatts vs. Punk/Bryan. Not much to this one either. The good guys are heroes and that’s not cool with Bray. He’s sent his monsters to show the world that there are no heroes.

Wyatt Family vs. CM Punk/Daniel Bryan

Before the match Bray talks about Sister Abigail telling him how tough Bryan and Punk would be. They’re the reapers though, so Punk and Bryan should run. Bryan and Rowan get things going with Daniel (actually with a shorter beard here) firing off kicks to the leg. Rowan easily throws him down but Daniel takes him into the corner for a tag off to Punk which doesn’t get a huge reaction.

Harper comes in and charges into a boot in the corner, only to rip away at Punk’s face and chop him down. Back to Rowan for a bearhug but Punk fights out very quickly. Punk escapes a suplex and Bryan comes in to try a double suplex, only to have Rowan suplex both guys down. Bryan drives Rowan into the corner for some double kicks to the ribs to put Erick down. The crowd doesn’t seem interested in this match.

Back to Harper who is taken into the hero corner as well before a double dropkick puts both guys down. Bryan fires off the kicks and plays Bret to Punk’s Neidhart in a Hart Attack. Rowan tries to come in and the distraction lets Harper kick Punk’s head off for two. Rowan cranks on Punk’s neck for a bit before getting two off a backbreaker. Back to Harper for an uppercut followed by a quickly released Gator Roll. Rowan gets taught talking to the sheep mask which Cole finds strange for some reason.

Harper gets two off a Michinoku Driver before it’s back to Erick for some more neck cranking. Punk gets a boot up in the corner to stagger Rowan and a running DDT puts both guys down. A double tag brings in Bryan to face Harper and Daniel starts up his usual sequence. Luke gets low bridged to the floor and the FLYING GOAT takes Harper out, possibly injuring the monster’s knee.

A missile dropkick gets two and there are the YES Kicks. The running dropkick in the corner staggers the big man but Harper counters a top rope hurricanrana into a super sitout powerbomb for two. AWESOME spot there. The fans think this is awesome as Bray yells at the Family. Rowan splashes Bryan for two and the second heat segment begins. Harper comes in with some forearms to the back but Punk kicks him in the back of the head to give Bryan a breather.

There’s the hot tag off to Punk who takes Harper down but he dives on Rowan and Bray instead of Luke. Now the Macho Elbow connects on Harper for two and everything breaks down. The running knee takes Rowan down and Punk counters the discus lariat into the GTS for the pin on Harper at 16:55.

Rating: B. This was the old school tag team formula and it worked perfectly well. Punk and Bryan are good choices for matches like this and there’s nothing wrong with the Wyatts getting pinned. The money in the feud is Bray in the ring with either of them and that’s certainly coming in the future. Good stuff here.

Bray teases getting in but stays on the floor.

Cena is talking to the Authority about something when Orton comes in to glare at them. The Viper sounds jealous.

We recap Big Show vs. Randy Orton. Orton is supposed to be the face of the WWE but the Authority isn’t very confident in him. Big Show has weaseled his way into a title match tonight due to the threat of a lawsuit which could take over the entire company because that’s what heroes do. They’ve been brawling for a few weeks and Big Show looks dominant while Orton has no backup tonight. Of course he doesn’t.

WWE Championship: Randy Orton vs. Big Show

Orton is defending and is on the floor about a second after the bell rings. He trips getting back inside to show how confused he is tonight and gets chopped LOUDLY by Big Show. More slow offense sets up more chops by Big Show but Orton comes back with a dropkick and some kicks to the head. A knee drop gets two for the champion and we hit a sleeper. Big Show loudly says “two clotheslines” before hitting two clotheslines and calling for the chokeslam, sending Orton running to the floor.

Back in and Big Show slams him down before going to the top rope, only to be crotched on the top rope. The Elevated DDT out of the corner puts Big Show down and Orton poses a lot. Show grabs a chokeslam out of nowhere for two and loads up the KO punch but Orton bails to the floor. The big man follows him to the floor and throws Orton at the ropes, taking out the referee in the process. Randy finds a chair but gets it slapped out of his hands before they go into the crowd.

That goes nowhere so they head back to ringside where Orton tries the Elevated DDT again, only to have Show escape and hit the KO punch. Back inside and the Authority comes out for a distraction, allowing Orton to hit a quick RKO. The annoying crowd chants for Daniel Bryan as Orton hits the Punt to retain at 11:10.

Rating: D-. What the heck was that? Unfortunately, it was exactly what most people were expecting. Big Show was trying but there’s only so much you can do when Orton spends a third of an eleven minute match running, not counting the interference at the end. Horrid main event but I guess it sets up HHH vs. Big Show. Uh….yay.

Post match here’s Cena to hold up the World Heavyweight Championship while Orton holds up the WWE Championship. That’s Wrestlemania it would seem.

Overall Rating: D+. This show had its moments but they totally lost me around the time of the Henry match. The card was about the same as it felt like it was going to be with a few good matches but little to care about in the main event scenes. Orton vs. Big Show was as nothing of a match as it could have been and the interference was just predictable. This show just didn’t feel necessary though it wasn’t the worst effort ever.

Results

Shield/Real Americans b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Rey Mysterio/Usos – Spear to Mysterio

Big E. Langston b. Curtis Axel – Big Ending.

Total Divas b. Team AJ – Sharpshooter to AJ

Mark Henry b. Ryback – World’s Strongest Slam

John Cena b. Alberto Del Rio – Attitude Adjustment

Daniel Bryan/CM Punk b. Wyatt Family – GTS to Harper

Randy Orton b. Big Show – Punt Kick

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Survivor Series 2011
Date: November 20, 2011
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 16,749
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

This show is all about the Rock. Seriously, that’s it. The main event is Rock/Cena vs. Awesome Truth in Rock’s first match in seven years. They totally gave away the announcement of the match before the announcement on Raw but they were trying at leat. This show didn’t sell that well for reasons we’ll get to later. Let’s get to it.

The whole history thing starts us off again, as always. Take a guess as to what the opening video is about.

John Laurinitis welcomes us to the show. That’s all he says so this was a minute wasted, brought to you by one of the Dynamic Dudes.

US Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison

Morrison lost FOREVER, then won a match on Raw after Mason Ryan helped, and gets a title match as a result. This was during a bad period where Ziggler had a rock cover of his song which didn’t work at all. Feeling out process to start and the fans want RYDER. This was when Ryder was white hot but WWE decided that crushing him for the sake of Kane and Jack Swagger. Ziggler gets taken down by the arm as the announcers talk about Ryder.

The fans now think this is boring so Dolph jumps over John in the corner and hits a dropkick to take over. Off to a headlock by the champion as the fans still want Ryder. Dolph gets thrown to the floor and Morrison hits a big corkscrew dive to take the champ out. Vickie offers an annoying distraction and Ziggler takes over back inside. Ziggler takes Morrison down and nips up in a good athletic display before hooking a near Crossface.

As the fans chant the same thing I’d expect to hear for the entire show, Ziggler stands around a lot. Morrison misses a charge in the corner and Dolph hits a reverse powerslam for two. The sleeper doesn’t go on and Morrison starts speeding things up with clotheslines and a leg lariat. That gets two and so does a rollup with tights for Ziggler. Morrison kicks Dolph in the head for two and a half and they trade sleepers.

The fans seem to be more behind Ziggler but it’s New York so that’s not shocking. John hits a spinning DDT for two as Vickie puts Dolph’s foot on the rope, which earns her an ejection. Morrison misses a running knee and they rapidly trade near falls. The Flying Chuck misses for Morrison and it’s a Fameasser…..for two. Wow I thought that was it. The running knee hits Ziggler in the face but Starship Pain hits Ziggler’s knees. Zig Zag retains the title.

Rating: B-. I dug this match a lot, annoying crowd aside. Sometimes there’s nothing better you can do than throw two talented guys out there for ten minutes and let them have fun. Ziggler is more or less in the same spot he’s in a year later which is annoying but it’s the way of life in the WWE. Morrison would be gone in eight days which almost knew was coming.

Post match Vickie gets our attention as only she can and hands the mic to Ziggler who says he’d hate to have to follow what you just saw. He says it’s not showing off it you can back it up every night. As Ziggler celebrates, here’s Ryder…who is immediately beaten down. Ryder comes back and hits the Rough Ryder to send Ziggler running. They probably should have changed the title here, but I’m not sure they were sure they wanted to go with Ryder yet or not.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix

Beth is defending and this is a lumberjill match. Beth catches a cross body and just drops Eve like she doesn’t care. Eve kicks her down and does her STUPID dancing moonsault but Beth rolls to the floor and calls it stupid. Good for her! Back in and the moonsault hits anyway for two. Eve gets sent to the apron and has to kick away Natalya, allowing the champion to take over.

Off to a reverse chinlock for a bit before Eve counters a wheelbarrow suplex to send Beth into the middle turnbuckle. Eve hits a kick to the face but a rolling flip hits knees. The Glam Slam is countered and Eve hooks a freaky kind of Octopus Hold before shifting to a modified triangle choke. Eve has to chase off some evil chicks but manages to kick Beth in the head. The moonsault gets broken up though and the Glam Slam off the middle rope retains Beth’s title.

Rating: C. Not terrible here and the ending looked awesome. I loved Beth and Natalya’s heel run together as they HATED the stupid Barbie stuff that chicks like Kelly and Eve were doing because it’s almost embarrassing at times. This particular match started slow but once it picked up it got a lot better.

Otunga comes in to annoy Punk and says Cole deserves an apology from some attack by Punk. Punk says let me go become world champion first.

Rock is in the back and he’s got a mic. He talks about MSG (no FINALLY for some reason) and being here in the 70s, watching his grandfather fighting for the world title. Then in the 80s he hung out with Andre the Giant in the locker room. Then in 1996 he debuted in the WWF, and despite having a hideous outfit and the worst haircut known to man (his words), the fans chanted his name. That’s correct actually and they didn’t even tell him to die. Rock runs us through his history of catchphrases and title wins, with the most important being him becoming the People’s Champion.

There’s FINALLY and he has to stop for a chant. He does his stupid boots catchphrase before moving on to his partner: John Cena. The fans think Cena sucks but Rock talks about the things that have happened in MSG like Ali vs. Frazier. Then he sings some Frank Sinatra and asks the fans to sing with him. It’s on tonight and that’s about it. This is what the fans wanted and he could have had them say anything he wanted here. That’s what Rock is great at and it worked.

Team Barrett vs. Team Orton

Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes, Jack Swagger, Hunico, Dolph Ziggler

Randy Orton, Kofi Kingston, Sheamus, Mason Ryan, Sin Cara

Ziggler is subbing for an injured Christian. There’s no real reason for most of these guys other than needing four midcard faces and heels to fill out the teams. Cody is IC Champion. Kofi and Bourne are tag champions here but Bourne is on a Wellness violation. Kofi and Ziggler start things off with Ziggler hitting a quick elbow to take Kofi down. The reverse powerslam is countered and Dolph gets one off a dropkick.

Kofi’s SOS is countered so it’s a forearm to take Dolph down instead. There’s the tag to Orton and an RKO eliminates Ziggler quickly. To be fair he had a match earlier so this isn’t a bad thing for him. Barrett has a huddle on the floor with his team but Orton wants to fight some more. Back in and it’s most of Team Orton to clear the ring before Kofi and Cara try stereo flip dives. Cara, being the klutz that he is at this point, trips on the top rope and rips his knee apart, putting him in the shelf for the next seven months.

The match stops for a few moments as we’re told Cara is eliminated. We get back to normal and it’s Cody vs. Randy now. Orton grabs the arm and it’s off to Ryan. Prepare for a trainwreck. Ryan hits some very basic stuff including a knee to the chest before Cody bails to the floor. Hunico gets the tag but Ryan has to literally pull him in. Off to Kofi whose tights look like they have the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man on them if you don’t look too long.

Kofi misses a charge in the corner and it’s off to Barrett for a chinlock. Back up and it’s a double clothesline to put them both right back down. Double tag brings in Hunico vs. Ryan with the latter hitting a series of backbreakers and a fallaway slam. Hunico gets gorilla press dropped into the corner for a tag to Cody. There’s the Disaster Kick and the Cross Rhodes (POP) for the pin and elimination.

Off to Sheamus vs. Cody now with the Pale One quickly getting annoyed. He pounds Rhodes down in the corner and hits the ten forearms in the ropes, which they tried to name some Irish word. It lasted about two weeks before they realized it speaks for itself pretty well. Cody tries to low bridge Sheamus but Sheamus lands on the apron. Barrett decks the Irishman and Hunico comes in with a springboard dropkick to the knee.

Cole starts talking about Shawn Michaels for no apparent reason as Sheamus takes out Hunico’s knee as well. Off to Kofi who chops Barrett down a lot but gets kicked in the face after having to deal with Swagger. Upon further review, that IS the Stay Puft Man on Kofi’s trunks. With Barrett mostly dead from the kick, the Wasteland eliminates Kofi. It’s Orton and Sheamus vs. Swagger, Barrett, Hunico and Rhodes.

Orton comes in and tries the Elevated DDT, but Wade drops him to the floor where Hunico hits a suicide dive to take Orton out. Swagger comes in to pound on Orton a bit before Cody comes in for a release gordbuster. That gets two and it’s off to a chinlock for a bit. A bulldog by Cody is easily countered and it’s hot tag to Sheamus. The Pale One pounds on Swagger and hits the top rope shoulder and the Irish Curse. Swagger escapes the High Cross so Sheamus drops knees on his head, drawing a DQ when the referee gets to five. They were really trying to keep Sheamus strong here and that mostly worked.

Before Sheamus leaves, he takes Swagger’s head off with a Brogue Kick. Orton gets the easy pin and it’s 3-1. Rhodes comes in and stomps a spent Orton down in the corner but Orton comes back with some clotheslines. There’s the powerslam to Rhodes followed by the Elevated DDT. Randy has to chase off Barrett so Hunico gets a blind tag. He springboards right into the RKO for the elimination to make it 2-1, but Rhodes distracts Orton into the Wasteland to give Barrett the final pin.

Rating: B. This is your usual good formula based Survivor Series match with Orton and Barrett getting to advance their feud and not having Orton lose any face at all. The rest of the teams didn’t mean much but Kofi is perfect for matches like this: he’s got the resume to make him look like a threat but he never steals anyone’s thunder. Good match.

The Bellas hit on Alberto when Ace comes up. Del Rio isn’t worried about Punk tonight. Ace texts someone.

Don’t be a bully!

The ring is reenforced for the next match after Big Show and Henry broke the ring at Vengeance. That’s why the rematch is happening here tonight.

Smackdown World Title: Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Henry is defending. They trade the big dramatic shoves to start and Henry gets shoved to the floor. Back in and Show takes it to the mat which goes a lot better than you would expect it to. If that’s not shocking enough, Show armdrags Henry to the floor. Henry stalls in the corner before going after Show’s knee. Mark lays on the leg a bit and drops some elbows. I think the fans are chanting boring, likely due to New York fans being ridiculous.

A clothesline puts Show down but Show comes back with a DDT for two. Now the fans want Daniel Bryan, who has an MITB case at this point. Show shoulders Henry down and calls for the chokeslam, but Henry kicks him in the knee and hits the World’s Strongest Slam for two. A splash gets the same and Henry is getting frustrated. Booker sums up what Henry should do: give him another World’s Strongest Slam. I’ve never gotten why wrestlers don’t do that. Just because a finisher doesn’t work, it doesn’t mean a second or third won’t work.

The fans want Undertaker as the guys go to the floor. Show gets posted and then tackled through part of the barricade. That finally gets the fans’ attention on the match instead of on guys who aren’t here. Show barely makes it back into the ring in time but he manages to break up another superplex attempt. He busts out a superkick of all things to knock down Henry and draw an HBK chant.

Big Show goes up top (uh oh) and even though he takes forever, he hits a top rope elbow on Henry…..for two. Why do a huge spot like that if it doesn’t end the match? Now it’s a Randy Savage chant. Show loads up the WMD, but Henry kicks him low for the FREAKING LAME DQ to retain the title.

Rating: C+. There’s something awesome about two huge guys beating the tar out of each other and that’s what we got here. Henry was AWESOME in 2011 and made for a great world champion, which is the last thing most people expected. That elbow was great, but to have the match end the way it did sucked. Show would beat Henry the next month, only to have Bryan cash in and win the title 45 seconds later.

Post match Henry tries to Pillmanize Show’s ankle again but Show gets out of the way and knocks Henry out cold. The fans chant for Bryan but no such Goatface appears. Show wraps the chair around Henry’s ankle instead and drops a leg on the chair to break Henry’s ankle.

Barrett says that the world title is next for him but Awesome Truth comes in and demands respect. Truth talks about an argument he had with some pigeons. The pigeons said nothing though, because pigeons don’t talk. Crazy Truth was great.

The New York National Guard is here.

We recap Punk vs. Del Rio. Del Rio cashed in MITB at Summerslam after Punk won, Cena beat Del Rio at Vengeance, Del Rio won a threeway with Punk and Cena in the Cell, tonight is the rematch from Summerslam, if you call that a match.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Alberto is defending. Del Rio has Ricardo Rodriguez introduce him, so CM Punk brings out his own ring announcer: HOWARD FREAKING FINKEL! Round one goes to Punk. Howard waddles out and seems genuinely choked up by the reaction he gets. The fans want ice cream which is a thing he said he wanted in his own image. Feeling out process to start as Punk does his headlock so he can call spots to Del Rio.

Now the fans chant for Colt Cabana. Man these guys just won’t stop. Punk cranks on the arm a bit and Alberto hides on the floor. Back in and Punk knees him down in the corner and hits a dropkick to send the champ back to the floor. There’s the suicide dive from Punk and it’s back in to work on the arm. Alberto sends him into the ropes where Ricardo gets in a shot, allowing Del Rio to take over.

Alberto comes in off the top with an elbow to the head for two and it’s off to the arm for the champion. Both guys have arm finishers which isn’t something you often see. Punk fights out of the hold but can’t hook the GTS as Del Rio hooks a DDT on the arm. The champ drops knees on the arm and we hit about the 8^th armbar of the match. Punk breaks that one as well but charges into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two.

CM ducks a charge to send Alberto to the floor and things slow down again. Back in and Punk makes a comeback with a lot of strikes to the head and a neckbreaker for two. The knee in the corner and bulldog get the same but Alberto counters the GTS into a Backstabber for two. A running enziguri in the corner gets a VERY close two on Punk and now it’s Alberto that’s frustrated.

Del Rio loads up a superplex in the corner but Punk knocks him off and loads up the Macho Elbow but gets crotched. Alberto gets in a hard kick to the arm but misses a charge into the post while Punk is still on top. Now the Macho Elbow hits to a big pop but it only gets two. The crowd is really getting into these kickouts now. Punk shouts for the GTS but Alberto counters it for the third time. The armbreaker is escaped but Punk’s high kick misses as well and there’s the armbreaker on full.

After getting as close to tapping as a face is going to, Punk gets his feet in the ropes. Del Rio escapes the GTS for the fourth time because the arm isn’t there. Punk kicks Ricardo in the face and gets rolled up with trunks for two. The high kick gets two for CM so he immediately puts on the Vice and wins Del Rio is in big trouble. He grabs at Punk’s face (realistic, nice) but has to tap and Punk wins the title.

Rating: A. I don’t remember liking this as well the first time but this was a really good match. Del Rio seemed like a real threat to keep the title here as Punk’s arm just wasn’t going to be able to do hit the GTS. The Vice is a little more realistic and I can live with him being able to do that so even the ending is ok. This was a very solid match, but the problem with the story overall is the title changes happening so rapidly.

In short, Del Rio getting two title reigns and Cena getting one out of all this didn’t need to happen. Punk could have won at Summerslam, beaten Del Rio cashing in here, and things would have been much stronger. But hey, that would mean MITB would be interesting instead of there for a shock value and we can’t have that.

Finkel does the “and NEEEEEEEEEEEEEW” WWE Champion call. Punk is the new WWE Champion having won it in the middle of Madison Square Garden and The Fink got to tell the people about it. Is there a cooler moment in wrestling? No, there isn’t.

Punk celebrates for a long time post match. As I’m writing this (November 7, 2012), he’s STILL champion.

Austin has yet another DVD.

We recap Awesome Truth vs. Rock/Cena. Cena had beaten up both guys before a tag match was made for this show. He was told he could pick ANYONE he wanted as a partner so he picked The Great One. Pay no attention to the PPV ad that played at the end of HIAC and advertised the match before Cena officially picked his partner. Basically the only way Awesome Truth (Miz/R-Truth) can win is to have Rock and Cena implode. Other than that we’re looking at a squash.

Awesome Truth vs. The Rock/John Cena

Rock is going to start as Cena is off to kiss the widow of Arnold Skaaland. Miz gets to face Rock to start and the Great One grabs a quick headlock. Rock snaps off some GREAT armdrags and gets two off La Magistral (it’s an armtrap cradle) on Miz. Awesome Truth huddles on the floor and Cena looks impressed. Truth wants to fight Rock now and Rock says Just Bring It. The fans do the Cena dueling chants before Rock hits a fisherman’s suplex on Truth, but Cena is going after Miz, meaning no count.

Now Miz wants to get back in and he wants it to be with Cena. Given how Rock looked, that’s a wise choice. Cena quickly takes over with snapmares, a monkey flip (!!) and a dropkick. The fans boo him out of the building and tell him he still sucks. Off to Truth who walks into Cena’s finishing sequence but Cena tells Rock that he can’t see Cena. They stare each other down, allowing Truth to nail Cena (Rock saw it coming and didn’t do anything) to give the guys with no chance the advantage.

Truth and Miz take a few turns on Cena before Truth hooks a chinlock. Cena gets thrown to the floor by Truth which gets two back in the ring. Back to a leg choke by Truth as the fans want Rocky. Off to Miz who counters an AA into a short DDT for two. The fans seem to be into Miz as he hits his running clothesline in the corner. Truth hooks a front facelock to kill a few moments and it’s back to Miz who gets two off a clothesline.

The spinning legdrop gets two for Truth as the crowd is waiting to explode for Rock’s hot tag. Truth goes up for a cross body but Cena rolls through. His AA attempt is countered into a sitout gordbuster for two and it’s back to Miz. Miz hits a pair of boots to the face of Cena but the third is countered into the STF. Truth makes a quick save and Rock is content to stand on the apron. Cena grabs a quick AA on Truth but Miz knocks Rock off the apron to tease the crowd even further.

Truth drops Rock on the barricade to keep him down as Cena gets put in another chinlock. A double flapjack gets two on Cena and it’s back to the front facelock by Truth. Truth’s second legdrop misses There’s the real hot tag to Rock and house is cleaned in a hurry. Miz gets put in the Survivor Series Sharpshooter but Truth saves as everything breaks down. With Cena and Truth on the floor, Miz goes off on Rock but charges into a spinebuster. The People’s Elbow returns and Rock gets the pin on Miz.

Rating: B. What else were you expecting here? This is one that has indeed changed over time as we knew Rock would have a great match with Cena at Wrestlemania. The match itself was formula stuff which is perfectly fine and all that it should have been. Rock making the save was the right call and there’s almost no complaints at all here. Good match but it didn’t need to happen, which we’ll get to in a bit.

Cena leaves so Rock can have him moment, but Rock calls him back in. Cena’s posing gets booed, Rock’s gets cheered. Rock lays out Cena with a Rock Bottom to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. This is an AWESOME show with a great world title match and a solid main event. The problem was it didn’t sell that well and it’s really clear why: the main event was a bad idea. The whole idea of Rock vs. Cena at Mania was that it was Rock’s first match in 8 years. Well now it’s Rock’s first match in about five months and for what? Rock and Cena had beaten up both guys one on two leading up to the match. There was no doubt as to who was going to win and nothing was on the line, so why watch the match? There was no reason and not a lot of people did. Still though, great show and worth seeing.

That’s the end of the Survivor Series Redo Count-Up and it really was fun to do this. A lot of the shows were about the same the second time around, but one thing is very clear: I was freaking WORDY back in the day. All of these reviews were shorter this time around and that’s probably better. Anyway, I’ll be back for the Rumble, Wrestlemania and Summerslam versions of these. Thanks for reading and supporting me all these years to the point where I can do another set of these. I really appreciate you all.

Ratings Comparison

Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres

Original: C

Redo: C

Team Barrett vs. Team Orton

Original: B-

Redo: B

Big Show vs. Mark Henry

Original: B-

Redo: C+

CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: C+

Redo: A

The Rock/John Cena vs. Awesome Truth

Original: B

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: A

The World Title really changed things for me here. Still a great show though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/20/survivor-series-2011-rock-still-has-it/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 31, 2011
Location: Philips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Guest Stars; The Muppets

I’m not going to lie: I’m a diehard Muppets fan. I’m going to absolutely lose it when they come out and I don’t care who knows about it. As for the show, I really don’t care as it’s going to pale in comparison to all of the stuff with them. Henry vs. Punk is happening tonight and if Punk wins, he gets the shot at Del Rio in New York. Let’s get to it.

We open with Rock on satellite from earlier today. This is his response to Cena’s request for Rock to be his tag partner. Rock is pretty calm here. He says they both represent a generation and Rock (with some gray in his beard) says no. Why would he join up with the Fruit Loop Troop when Cena has been going after Rock for years?

However, the people started talking about how Rock had to do this. With that, he listened to the people and in that sense, Cena’s wish is coming true and at Survivor Series they’ll be a team for one night only. Also though, Rock is doing this so that Cena can witness what is waiting for him at Wrestlemania. The match is on.

Cena vs. Miz later.

CM Punk vs. Mark Henry

We get some exclusive footage from Vengeance, which is just the ring collapsing. They showed this on Smackdown ads last week but it’s called “never before seen”. So they don’t even watch Raw anymore? Before the match starts here’s Johnny Ace who says that if Punk can beat Henry he gets the shot at Del Rio. They probably needed to tell the live crowd that.

Punk tries to fight down the monster but gets caught in a powerslam for two. Punk sends him into the corner and hits a slingshot clothesline and the Macho Elbow for two. Alberto and Ricardo come down with Alberto giving Ricardo some specific instructions. Ricardo comes in and attacks Henry who shoves him off. That isn’t a DQ so Ricardo comes in with a shoe and that’s enough for the DQ at 2:35. That fits in the story so I can’t complain here.

Punk beats on Ricardo a bit and throws him in for the Slam.

THE MUPPETS ARE NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In two weeks, it’s the return of Rock to Raw. What is this, his third return special in 9 months?

HERE THEY ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s Kermit and Miss Piggy and I can’t stop smiling. They come up from behind a stage and are kind of cheered. Piggy calls herself the original Diva and that brings out Vickie and Dolph. Swagger says it ain’t easy being a plate of frog legs and a ham sandwich. Kermit tries to play peacemaker and says they don’t want trouble from Swagger and his mother. Piggy and Vickie get into a shoving match and here’s Santino to a pop. He announces himself vs. Swagger later but Swagger closes Kermit’s mouth for him. Kermit faints from a lack of air. Santino says there will be no Dolph in Jack’s corner tonight because he has to face Ryder. Kermit and Piggy say WOO WOO WOO You Know It.

Here’s Kelly for no apparent reason in….some kind of costume. She has a cowboy had and a sword. Kelly kisses Kermit and Piggy is MAD. There’s a Divas costume battle royal next.

Battle Royal

They’re all in costumes and I’m not going to list off what they’re all in. Eve is Robin, the Bellas rule all as Mario and Luigi. AJ is a chick from Mortal Kombat. The match of course is junk as are most battle royals. Natalya is in there as….some kind of queen I guess. Kaitlyn is Dog the Bounty Hunter and is out.

We’re down to Nattie, Kelly, the Bellas and Eve. Eve beats up both Bellas and Alicia is in this still too. There go the twins after a Stinkface from Kelly. Natalya tries a cover out of instinct which Beth got on Eve for earlier. There goes Alicia as well as Kelly, but Eve dumps Nattie for the win at 2:45. She’s #1 contender now.

The good chicks stand down the evil ones and the bad ones leave.

OFF TO MUPPET LABS!!! Bunsen Honeydew has a potion for Santino and sends Beaker after him. Beaky runs into Christian instead and the Canadian steals the potion, pouring it out. Sheamus pops up behind Beaker who now has his head stuck inside his shirt. Christian leaves and Sheamus fixes Beaker. Beaker talks to Sheamus…..who says he can’t make the family reunion, but tell Aunt Teresa he says high. Sheamus fixes Beaker’s hair to look like his.

Air Boom vs. Cody Rhodes/Wade Barrett

The bell rings after a break. Bourne vs. Rhodes starts us off but it’s off to Kofi about ten seconds in. Kofi hits kind of a spinning pendulum kick in the corner but gets taken down by Rhodes kicking the rope on a springboard. Off to Barrett (in dark gray instead of black) who hits a Bossman Slam and then a chinlock. Barrett actually throws some punches and it’s back to Kofi. Kofi is beaten on for a bit until it’s a hot tag to Bourne. He speeds things way up and counters Wasteland into a DDT for two. Everything breaks down and Kofi is sent to the floor. Bourne gets caught in Wasteland and we’re done at 5:22.

Rating: C-. I don’t get that at all. What is the point in having the champions lose clean again to a thrown together heel combination? The match wasn’t horrible, but why did they need to lose twice like that? I don’t understand at all and it’s book like this that makes the tag division and champions in general look weak.

Post match Christian comes out for some reason to help beat down Kofi but Sheamus makes the save and kicks Cody’s head off.

STATLER AND WALDORF ARE IN THE BALCONY!!!! Statler does the WHAT chant to annoy Waldorf.

Punk comes in to see Ace, who he makes fun of. Ace says Punk can have the title match, if he can convince Alberto to give him one.

Brodus Clay is here next week.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show

Show pounds away in the corner and Del Rio is in trouble early on. It’s domination for the first few minutes with Del Rio only managing a few kicks to the legs. Show misses a charge but hits a clothesline to keep his momentum. Alberto grabs a sleeper which shifts into a chinlock. Show breaks it up and we head to the floor where Show pounds away on him. The bald one misses a charge into the barricade and Del Rio misses an enziguri which is sold anyway.

Alberto hooks a front facelock back in the ring but Show throws him off with relative ease. Both guys are down now. For some reason, Del Rio wants to slug it out with Show as they’re on their knees. Somehow Show is knocked down for two but he easily shoves out of it. Shoe sends him to the floor again and we take a break. Back with Del Rio working on the leg as this is needing to end soon. Speaking of that, Del Rio is sent to the floor and when he comes back in, he walks into the punch for the pin clean at 14:00. Another champion loses.

Rating: C-. The psychology was there for the most part but parts of this were way boring. Show is a guy you have to wrestle a certain way which I think Alberto did here for the most part. Not a bad match, but it needed to have about three and a half minutes cut out of it for the match to work.

Post match here’s Punk while Del Rio is still out cold. He pours water on Del Rio to take him up. Punk wants a clean answer and says before he gets that answer, Punk is going to put on the Anaconda Vice. There’s the hold and Del Rio agrees to the match. His mic goes out again but Punk shouts into the other one that HE SAID YES.

FOZZIE AND GONZO ARE IN THE BACK!!! They talk about how big the guys are and Gonzo says he could be a champion if he tried. Team Vickie comes up and pulls Gonzo’s arms through his shirt to tie him up, saying stay out of Ziggler’s match later. Gonzo is cool with it and Fozzie isn’t sure what to say.

Muppet Movie promo. Oh yes.

Animal is the guest time keeper for the next match. He’s as crazy looking as ever.

Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella

Swagger beats him down quickly and does pushups on Santino’s back. The fans want Ryder. Swagger grabs the ankle lock but Santino rolls through it. Here’s Beaker with the energy drink to give to Santino. He winds up spitting it into Swagger’s face for the rollup pin at 2:37. Harmless fun.

Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler

This is non-title. Basic start with a missile dropkick missing and we head to the floor. Dolph is put down and we take a break. Back with Ziggler in control, working on the neck. A neckbreaker puts Ryder down and Dolph nips up. Ryder catches him in a slingshot and they slug it out. A flapjack puts Ziggler down and here’s the Broski Boot for two.

Ryder gets a double knee to Ziggler’s chest in the corner for the pin but Ziggler’s foot was on the rope. The bell rings but it gets waved off due to the feet. Zack chases him around the ring but Vickie interferes. A superkick puts Ryder down but he avoids the Zig Zag. The Rough Ryder pins Ziggler clean at 8:54.

Rating: C. Do they know if they want Ryder or Ryan to take the title off Ziggler yet? It’s really unclear at times but maybe that’s the point. You do have to give them credit for giving Ryder a push due to his crowd reactions lately. Not a horrible match, but they need to either have him win the title or move him on to something else.

We recap HHH/Nash from last week. It’s 10:47 and we have Miz vs. Cena and Cole’s Challenge to go. Doesn’t Nash have a contract already? Why would he need another one? HHH will be out five weeks and Nash has been re-signed.

Cole gets on the announce table and says Ross isn’t here tonight due to something regarding his bowels. Yeah yeah here we go again. Adult diaper jokes are made and the Challenge is moved to next week due to having too much on the show I guess.

Statler and Waldorf make fun of Cole but the laugh isn’t quite right.

Miss Piggy is rubbing Morrison’s abs and Morrison isn’t sure what to make of this. She hits on him but Morrison says he has a friend for her. It’s Horny, who now has a Piggy tattoo on his ankle. He kisses her but gets karate chopped for his efforts. Kermit comes up and Horny is in love. Cody comes in and bags Kermit. SOMEBODY SHOOT THAT MAN!!!

So yeah, no Cole vs. Ross tonight despite it being pushed harder than anything most of the week.

John Cena vs. The Miz

Statler and Waldorf make fun of Miz a bit. This has easily been the weakest part of the Muppet part of the show. We go to a break before the bell….at 10:55. The bell rings after 11pm so this is going to be short. Totally basic match so far and we’re over five minutes into it. There’s just nothing to say because they’re flying through it for the sake of time. Miz hits some of his basic stuff until Cena fires back with a big running clothesline which gets two. Cena hits a superplex for two and we head to the floor. A guy in a Scream mask hits Cena and back in the ring….it means nothing as the STF ends this at 9:00.

Rating: C-. Hard to fault them here because they had to rush things and the match didn’t mean much at all. Cena is always good for a quick one though, even though this would have fit better at a house show more than on Raw. For a main event though, especially for a fun show like this, I can’t fault it much.

Post match the Scream guy comes in again and takes an AA. It’s Truth.

Overall Rating: B. Ok now that’s likely high because of the Muppet involvement but they’re my reviews so who cares? The Muppets fall squarely under the category of “if you don’t like this at least a tiny bit, you have no soul.” This was designed to be a fun show and that’s exactly what it was. Rock/Cena was officially set up, the traditional Survivor Series match was planned and that’s all that needed to happen. The Muppets were fun and that’s all there is to this show.

Results
Mark Henry b. CM Punk via DQ when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered
Eve Torres won a battle royal last eliminating Natalya
Wade Barrett/Cody Rhodes b. Air Boom – Wasteland to Bourne
Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio – WMD
Santino Marella b. Jack Swagger – Rollup
Zack Ryder b. Dolph Ziggler – Rough Ryder
John Cena b. The Miz – STF

 

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

 

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

In Your House 25: Judgment Day
Date: October 18, 1998
Location: Rosemont Horizon, Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 18,153
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

So we’re just three weeks (dang it happened back then too) from Breakdown and your two main things are as follows: there is no WWF Champion. After the double pin last month, Vince said that the title is vacant. The following night on Raw, Vince tried to have a ceremony but Austin interrupted with a Zamboni, (the thing used to smooth ice) and attacked Vince.

Vince announced Taker and Kane with Austin as referee for Judgment Day. Taker and Kane broke his ankle because of it. HHH was stripped of the IC Title because he hurt his knee and Shamrock won a tournament for it. D’lo got the European Title back too.

Standard opening, but they get a little insane by having a missile go off with the words WWF on the side. A bit intense don’t you think?

Al Snow vs. Marc Mero

Snow continues to get big pops and I have no freaking idea why they didn’t push him as something. He was over and could work a good match. Oh that’s right, Vince didn’t come up with the gimmick so it wouldn’t have worked. I can’t stand him sometimes. Anyway there’s no point to this match so it should be better than most on this show. Jeff Jarrett joins us as he and Snow had been fighting lately.

He’s gone in all of 2 minutes though so that was a fairly pointless thing. This is a decent opening match with the best line being Al Snow is so dumb his dentist says his wisdom teeth are stupid. It’s exactly what you would expect here as they go back and forth a bit with Mero missing the SSP (by a freaking mile. Seriously he completely missed.) Snow gets rolled up and his shoulder is so clearly off the mat it’s awful but he’s counted anyway for two. TKO gets reversed into the Snow Plow to end it.

Rating: B-. It was a short opener so what more did you want from it? Not a bad match but just ok. Jarrett made no sense with the run in at the beginning so that part was a waste of time. Mero of course sucked a bit and Snow was good as always. I’ll never get how Snow wasn’t a bigger star than Mero was. I simply don’t get it.

Austin is shown coming into the arena and having to dress in the referee’s locker room. Slaughter has to be the most useless man in wrestling history.

DOA vs. LOD

This is a twist as it’s a 6 man with Droz and Ellering in the ring. That’s fun as I now have 6 reasons to hate this match instead of just 4. Hawk has admitted his “demons” which is the bad storyline that I’ve been referencing. The LOD with regular haircuts just do not work at all. They’re the hometown boys though so the pops are……..pretty mild actually. They exist but it’s nothing solid.

Droz actually looks the most like an original LOD member. He also busts out a jumping reverse elbow which is one of my all time favorite moves. This is a fairly short match with the LOD dominating for the most part. Hawk looks fine for someone with an addiction problem but oh well. Anyway, Ellering does next to nothing as was expected. Eventually the Doomsday Device is hit, resulting in Droz stealing the pin. Hawk isn’t happy.

Rating: C+. It’s very short and an overdone feud that wasn’t interesting, but it wasn’t a bad match. Droz was better than I remember him being but he was ok at least. He had a unique look which helped him out a lot, making him look more like the LOD than the LOD> Not a terrible match, but nothing that wouldn’t fit on a Raw.

Christian vs. Taka Michinoku

Christian has his cocky walk going already here even as a rookie. This is going to be a much happier review as I just finished seeing my boy Punk get the WHC back. Anyway, this match yet again shows what’s wrong with this division in two parts. Number one, Taka has been champion ten months now. That’s too long for what’s supposed to be a fast paced division and WAY too long for an inaugural champion.

Second, and this is the most important of the problems, they’re wrestling a heavyweight style. The big spot here is a crossbody block. Ricky Steamboat used that for years and he’s certainly a heavyweight wrestler. Sting used to use it. See what I mean? In a division like this, I want all kinds of flips and top rope moves and dives etc. CM Punk, who is the NEW WHC I might add, is more of a light heavyweight than Taka was.

Christian wrestles a heavyweight style as well. See how this is a problem? Anyway, Christian reverses the driver (what small guy uses a piledriver anyway?) into a rollup for the pin and the title as Edge looks on from the crowd.

Rating: C-. It was way too short, there weren’t enough high flying moves, and no one knew who Christian was at t the time. It gets a passing grade simply because it ended the mind numbing Taka reign which went on about 8 months too long and killed the division before it ever got off the ground. Not a great match, but passable I suppose.

Venis and Goldust are recapped, leading to…

Val Venis vs. Goldust

Before the match Goldust hijacks Val’s mic so he can’t do his shtick. That’s a nice little thing that plays up to Goldust and the psychological games. Anyway, apparently dressing in gold is quite intimidating these days as the guy that Val destroyed last month now scares him. Ok then. Anyway, it’s a pretty standard match here and Val uses a diving cross body and does it better than Taka did. See what I mean about the boring moves?

One thing I really don’t like about this match is that they use too many rest holds and they spend too much time with them. Things like that slow down the match and just suck all of the life out of the crowd. Anyway, the main thing is that Terri is on the floor and still wearing her wedding ring despite Val making out with her earlier. During the match Goldust’s glove comes off and he’s still wearing his ring as well.

Other than that, there’s not a lot to say about this match as while it’s entertaining there’s not much going on in it. Finally Terri gets involved as we know this is the finish. Val almost hits her and walks into a low blow for the pin.

Rating: C+. It was a pretty standard match but yet again that doesn’t mean it wasn’t good. It’s ok with both guys being solid in the ring to make this a decent enough match. It’s nothing mind blowing, but it’s perfectly acceptable wrestling.

We’re told that Shamrock has beaten up HHH and injured his knee again and HHH is in the hospital. X-Pac says he’ll deal with Shamrock tomorrow but tonight he’s getting the worthless title tonight.

European Title: X-Pac vs. D’lp Brown

Brown is from Milan, Italy now which is a little touch I always liked from some of the champions. Apparently the Nation has finally broken up which I can’t say is a bad thing. It ran its course and has split, which is how it was supposed to go. Now I’ve never been a fan of X-Pac but I like this match quite a bit for some bizarre reason. It’s solid all the way up until the ending where it just completely dies for me.

These guys go back and forth with Brown using my favorite counter as he just raises his foot up to stop the Bronco Buster. They hammer the heck out of each other and with the guys of smaller size working together, the match works much better than most of what Pac does. Brown just can’t put him away and I’m actually getting into it a bit.

Mark Henry, who is suing Chyna for sexual harassment, comes down to the ring for no apparent reason, allowing X-Pac to get hit with the belt. Brown hits a bunch of big moves but Pac keeps kicking out. Eventually he goes up top for the splash but Pac is up already.

Now for the stupid part. He dives face first and lands in the X-Factor. WHY WOULD HE JUMP LIKE THAT? What was he going for? It makes no sense and exposes the match, which just makes things bad. Hate the ending as it ruins what was otherwise a good match.

Rating: B-. If the ending was good, this would be a B or maybe even a B+. I really liked the flow here despite my disdain for Sean Waltman. Everything had a nice flow to it but of course we couldn’t just have a clean finish. We just had to have the interference and the belt shot and the ridiculous looking ending didn’t we? Just left a bad taste in my mouth.

Paul Bearer might be in Taker’s locker room.

Tag Titles: Headbangers vs. New Age Outlaws

This started when Road Dogg had a boom box broken over his head. Outlaws are WAY over here as no one wanted to see the bald guys win again. They hadn’t done anything in forever and they weren’t any good to begin with. Why would we want to see them as champions again, or even for the first time. The problem here is that there is absolutely no heat on this match at all.

It’s all about the Outlaws and no one wants to see the Bangers do anything. Gunn gets beaten on for a good while and they use an arm bar on him late in the match. Ross thinks that’s not a good move and he’s right. Seriously, an arm bar? Why not a Saskatchewan Spinning Nerve Hold? Or maybe an ARM BAR? If that doesn’t work, you could try an ARM DRAG. As a final solution though, I’d go with an ARM BAR.

Now that my bad Chris Jericho impression is over, let’s continue with the match. Yeah it sucks. We keep waiting on the hot tag but it never comes. They set Gunn for their finisher but Road Dogg blasts one in the head with a boom box for the DQ and the biggest and I think only pop of the whole match. Why did he have a boom box there? I don’t know, I guess because he felt like it.

Rating: C-. The Outlaws were solid faces here while the team they were against just plain sucked. I don’t get the appeal to this team and I never have. What was so amazing about them that I’m just not seeing? They were ok and that’s pushing it. No one thought they were winning here and this was the last feud they had.

Mankind cuts a very funny promo bashing Shamrock and talking to Mr. Socko.

IC Title: Ken Shamrock vs. Mankind

No real reason for this other than one is a big face and the other wants to be a big heel. Shamrock had won the belt Monday so he’s just not going to lose here. Mankind is 6’4??? When in the world did that happen? According to JR at least he is, but I always thought Foley was more around the 6’2 range. Edge and Orton are 6’4, and I think they’re both fairly taller than Foley is. This starts off with Shamrock just beating the tar out of Foley with strikes and punches.

Foley gets little offense in as usual and of course makes Ken look like a million bucks which Shamrock couldn’t do if his life depended on it. That’s where Foley truly shines and this is no exception. However he gets the claw on for all of one second and it’s enough to bring the match to a screeching halt. The commentators are talking about how Foley is a loveable idiot that is doing nothing but trying to please Mr. McMahon but is constantly ridiculed and manipulated by him.

For some reason the chair shot by Shamrock is completely ignored. The comeback is on as Foley uses the same offense he always uses and still makes it look good either way. All of his big moves are hit ranging from the Cactus Clothesline to the corner punches to the double arm DDT.

Shamrock gets the ankle lock on him but instead of tapping, Mankind puts the claw on himself, knocking himself unconscious. Shamrock hears this and snaps, beating up the referee and Mankind until other referees come out, allowing Mankind to put the claw on him and limp away.

Rating: B+. This was exactly the way this match should have been. Both guys worked pretty hard out there with Shamrock not actually beating Mankind but winning anyway. Foley made him look good which was likely what his instructions were. Good match but not great.

Cole tries to see Vince but Bossman doesn’t like the idea.

Rock vs. Mark Henry

This is fallout from the Nation’s split I suppose, not to mention a beatdown they gave Rock on Monday. Henry has a poem for Chyna. The pops for Rock are there and they would never leave again. The classic style is there too as the Rock has finally arrived. The commentators do nothing but talk about how big Henry is. Did you know he’s a big man and a former Olympian? Rock uses his normal stuff which works well against big men like Henry.

He shows some unusual power for himself by suplexing the big fat waste of 3 people’s skin. Soon thereafter Henry is beating him down to lead to a comeback. With D’lo’s help Henry survives the elbow and a splash finishes the Rock. I know it’s short but the match is five minutes and two seconds long. How much can I really say about it?

Rating: C. The shortness hurt this one and it hurt it bad. There’s no need to make this match just five minutes long. I know that Henry was limited in the ring and still is today and that Rock wasn’t ready for a main event spot yet but he could do more than 5 minutes. I even get Rock losing here, but not that fast. The time is the main thing here as it just takes a lot away from what could have been an ok match.

Massive recap and blah.

WWF Title: Undertaker vs. Kane

Austin is the ref and if he doesn’t do things right he’s fired as we’ve been over already. Austin of course is the biggest star in the whole match as is expected here. If you’ve seen one match from these two you’ve seen them all and this one isn’t particularly great as Taker is more of a heel. It’s more of two big guys fighting instead of Taker against Kane in one of their epic struggles.

It’s a slow pace which is what you would expect from these guys, but there’s no burst of high speed offense like there are in the other matches. Austin really is reserved here as we all know it’s just building to the big deal with him in the finish. It was kind of obvious to me that something would keep there from being a straight new champion crowned here.

Your psychology here is that Kane’s knee gets worked over the whole match. Since this is the Attitude Era though, it has no bearing at all on the end of the match. As they fight, Kane starts beating up Austin for no reason at all. Chokeslam puts him down long enough for Bearer to come out and turn on him as he joins Taker all over again. Anyway, Austin sees him blast Kane with the chair and refuses to make the count.

He stuns Taker (who staggers around and never falls) before chairing him. Austin counts three on both men then declares himself the winner. He goes to the back to find Vince but Vince appears as the Titantron is raised after Austin returns and fires him as he breaks out the catch phrase for the first time. Austin says to play his music and has a beer bash to end the show.

The next night would be the famous Austin’s Got A Gun show where he is stalking Vince all night and Vince wets himself as the gun says Bang 3:16 to end the show. Shane would rehire him but for no good reason at all screw him over weeks later. Why rehire them just to screw them instead of just letting him stay fired? God bless kayfabe.

Rating: B-. It was ok but once again this was more about the angle than about the title. I like a lot of what Russo did but I will never agree with his stance on titles being just props. It should mean something to be the World Heavyweight Champion.

I get that Austin was the biggest star on the planet but it makes the title look weaker. Never once been a fan of that and never will be. As for the match it’s one of Taker and Kane’s weakest entries but that’s because it wasn’t about their rivalry as they were just two guys fighting over a belt.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a pretty solid show I think from a wrestling standpoint. However, it kind of falls flat at the end as the final moments meant nothing since Austin would be in the tournament at the Survivor Series the following month.

The show serves as a good lead in to the Deadly Game tournament but other than that it’s just not there. While the in ring work is pretty good, there’s no substance as far as storylines go which drops this pretty far in my eyes. It does feature 5 title matches, but the European and IC matches are the only ones I really liked. It’s a decent show but don’t expect too much. Rated just slightly above average.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Judgment Day 2006
Date: May 21, 2006
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 14,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

 

Just looking at the card, this is a terribly boring show. This is in the period for the WWE where they were kind of searching for what their next big thing would be but it wasn’t there at all. Cena would win the world title for a year in the fall and ECW was just about to be resurrected. The main event here is Rey vs. JBL for the Smackdown Title. See what I’m up against? Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video is about accepting your fate and the judgment you will face when everything is done. Standard stuff for this show. Tonight is the final of the King of the Ring. I forgot about that. It’s Booker vs. Lashley.

 

The weird part about this show is that the theme song is This Fire Burns, which would be Punk’s music eventually but it means nothing here.

 

Smackdown Tag Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. MNM

 

MNM have the titles here. Melina does her usual sexy entrance. MNM has lost 5 times in a row to Londrick. How in the world are they still champions then? Nice pop for the challengers. London vs. Nitro (Morrison) to start us off. London speeds things way up and the crowd is white hot. The challengers tag in and out very fast as they work the arm of Nitro.

 

Mercury comes in and finally takes over a bit. Shoulder block gets two for Kendrick. Londrick clears the ring and it’s high spot time. Mercury comes back in and avoids a big cross body to give MNM the advantage. Melina lets loose the screams. You can hear Morrison’s push dying with every one. She throws a head scissors on London for two.

 

We hit the chinlock as I guess the future straightedge masked man needs a breather. Collision puts both guys down and it’s a double tag to bring in Kendrick and Nitro. Snapshot to Kendrick (elevate DDT) gets two as London saves. Good thing the referee glared at him in between the 1 and 2 counts to make sure he made the save. Morrison throws a chinlock on Kendrick as we reset things again.

 

Delayed vertical suplex by Mercury gets two on Kendrick. It’s the old school style of “what do we have to do to beat this small man???” which is always good. Off to another chinlock as London plays cheerleader. I’d prefer Melina but I’ll take what I can get. Nitro poses on a cover for two and gets all ticked off. This would be similar to the AGGRESSIVE Morrison we saw a few weeks ago.

 

Chinlock #4 goes on as it’s pretty clear they got a bit too much time in this. Kendrick gets a reversal to send Mercury into Morrison and it’s hot tag London. After cleaning house he gets a dropsault to cover Nitro but Melina comes in and screams for the save. No touching, just stuff with the mouth. Works for me. They can’t get the suplex/hold the foot pin to work so Kendrick totally misses a huge dive and THUDS on the floor. Sick sound too. MNM tries some double teaming but HEEL MISCOMMUNICATION lets London get a jackknife pin on Mercury to give them small dudes the tag titles which they would hold about 11 months.

 

Rating: B. Good match here to be sure but the amount of resting hurt it. This would be a higher grade if Nitro or Mercury was a bit better in the ring but pretty good other than that. Nitro would get a lot better of course while Mercury just kind of floundered for a long time. Melina and the screaming was good too. Fun opener and the crowd was into it the whole time, which is the idea.

 

Melina blames Mercury post match and slaps him. The guys go at it and she kicks Mercury in the head. This is the end of the team I guess. The referee gets a swift kick in the balls too. The pull apart brawl goes on for awhile as Teddy Long goes down also.

 

We get a King of the Ring moment, which is Bret winning the 93 tournament, which I believe was his second.

 

Finlay vs. Chris Benoit

 

These two had a 20+ minute match on Smackdown in the quarterfinals where Finlay cheated to win. LOUD Benoit chant to start us off. They lock up and that is one of the more intense versions you’ll ever see with them heading to the floor without breaking the tieup. Back in the ring and they stare each other down with Benoit being aggressive as is his custom.

 

With the staredown still going on Benoit grabs the legs and tries the Sharpshooter in a nice attempt at a quick win. We hit the mat where Finlay gets to show off a bit which isn’t something you see often out of a brawler like him. We’re in the chinlock early but it’s been a decent opening so I can live with that. This is about technical stuff anyway as they’re moving around while on the mat in this now headlock. There’s a big difference between that and sitting there in a chinlock.

 

Finlay backs off to buy some time to solid heat. Benoit chops away and we hit the mat again with Finlay taking over. Finlay fires off a European uppercut into the back of Benoit. That’s a new one. Benoit slaps the tar out of Finlay, sending him down and here comes our favorite psycho. Knee lifts and chops all around as Benoit hammers him down. Backbreaker gets two.

 

Back to the grappling as this is going to be a long one. In a nice sequence, Benoit has a chinlock on but ever so slowly shifts the arm into position for the Crossface. Notice what he did there: he tried to make Finlay get caught in the hold rather than throwing it on. That’s thinking and showing that Benoit has strategy going for him at the same time. Very good sign there.

 

It’s still a chinlock with a mild arm trap as Finlay has figured it out. Benoit opts for a crucifix instead for two. Big clothesline by Finlay gets two. When Finlay is covering him he drives his knee into Benoit’s face. That has to hurt. Still on the mat now with Finlay grabbing Benoit’s wrists and putting his feet on Benoit’s head to pull back on the arms. The Canadian fights off the Irishman with some Germans. I had to get that in there somewhere.

 

Swan Dive misses according to the replay. On the regular shot of it I thought Finlay got caught but I was proven wrong. Mark your calendars for that as it won’t likely happen again. Dragon Screw Leg Whip looks to lock on the Sharpshooter but Finlay kicks him off. For no apparent reason Finlay hits the floor to get a chair but Benoit gets a baseball slide to drive the chair into him.

 

Back in and the Swan Dive hits this time for two. Benoit gets caught in a Bret chest to the corner shot and Finlay blasts him in the back of the head with a forearm/clothesline for two. Finlay works the neck which is somehow still not healed apparently. Granted it’s been two weeks since Edge had to retire so maybe this isn’t the right time to say that. Earthquake splash gets two.

 

This is a very physical and hard hitting match which is exactly what you would expect from these two. Finlay throws on a combination hammerlock/Dragon Sleeper which is a new one. I like seeing those new holds as you spend so much time looking at them and wondering how much they’re hurting that you forget they’re mainly rest holds. Another shot to the back of the head puts Chris right back down.

 

Benoit is like screw it and fires off forearms (note to ROH guys: FOLLOW THROUGH WITH THE STRIKES!!!) but Finlay goes back to the arm to keep control. We go to the neck again as this has been mostly Finlay. A slam is reversed and it’s Rolling Germans Part Deux the Sequel Resurrection Returns and all other bad titles for sequels. Out to the floor and Finlay grabs that club that I don’t even want to try to spell but Benoit counters with a German on the floor. And people wonder why his brain looked like it was put in a blender on frappe.

 

Back in for Three Amigos which means about ten suplexes so far for Finlay. He does the Eddie chest pat but Finlay knocks him to the floor when he tries for the headbutt again. Another shot to his head as it goes into the barricade this time too. Finlay throws him into the post shoulder first but Benoit counters into the Crossface and we’re done after a twenty plus minute FIGHT.

 

Rating: B+. If you like brawls with technical stuff mixed in, check this match out. This was an incredibly physical match that had psychology all over the place as Benoit kept firing back with insane offense when he was in trouble and at the end it was enough to get the tap out. Very fun stuff here and the amount of time helped it a lot. Very good match and I’d bet on it being the best we get all night.

 

We recap Jillian vs. Melina. Jillian got fired by JBL so Melina was all mean to her and they had a fight with makeup or something.

 

Jillian Hall vs. Melina

 

Jillian is just a hot blonde with a big chest at this point and isn’t yet a singer. Billy Graham is here. Nitro is here with Melina and then he gets thrown out before the bell. Thesz Press by Jillian who is oddly face here. Hennig neck snap to Melina and we hit the floor. All Jillian so far. And never mind as Melina sends her into the steps as I lose all thought as I see that skirt of hers.

 

To anyone expecting anything beyond a TV Divas match here, why in the world are you here? Body scissors by Melina followed by a head snap as I’m just looking at Jillian in the shorts at this point to pass the time. Jillian gets a sunset flip out of the corner despite Melina grabbing the rope for the pin. It’s over at least.

 

Rating: D-. Jillian was hot and Melina was in her Pocahontas gear here so I can’t really say it fails. Just a TV match.

 

Krystal, the backstage interviewer, tries to talk to Melina post match. She’s WAY too perky and you figure out the rest. Krystal beats her up anyway.

 

JBL, who is AMERICAN and US Champion here, says he’s awesome and does his usual I AM AMERICA promo. Chavo pops up to an ERUPTION (what the…..) and JBL yells at him about Eddie or something. Chavo says Viva La Raza and might as well be giving out money to the fans.

 

Another KOTR moment which is Austin winning the crown and igniting a new era with his post match promo.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Super Crazy

 

Helms is in the middle of his year plus title reign and this is just another title defense. Crazy is part of the Mexicools here so he’s on a lawn mower because….well just because. An Arizona Diamondback is here. We get a Smokey Robinson reference for no apparent reason at all. Jackknife cover gets two for Crazy as does another rollup. La Majistrol gets two.

 

Crazy sends him to the floor with a clothesline and sets for a dive. Nick Patrick stops it so Crazy uses him for a springboard to dive anyway. LET THE ECW CHANTS RING!!! And never mind as a hot shot gets two for Helms as does a neckbreaker. Remember that whole “this is just a TV match” from the previous match? That isn’t the case here. This is the very different LONG TV match.

 

Suplex by Crazy gets no cover as we go back to more holds on the mat. Off to the chinlock as we hear about Crazy winning a triple threat to get here. No word on opponents or anything but I guess they don’t matter. Rollup gets two for Crazy as the fans are mostly deceased. Elbow misses for the champion and Crazy fights back a bit. For a guy named SUPER CRAZY he’s really not that insane.

 

Missile dropkick gets two. Moonsault misses as does the Shining Wizard for the champion. Spinwheel kick gets two as we’re totally killing time here. Helms gets about his 8^th neckbreaker of the match for two. Helms finally gets a snake eyes and rollup with his feet on the ropes to end this.

 

Rating: D+. Rather boring match here as Super Crazy becomes the Scott Steiner of the Cruiserweights. What I mean by that is he used to be good and at this point he’s doing nothing but living off past glory with the same name and one or two of the same moves that are signature things. Nothing of note here at all and a rather weak match.

 

We recap Mark Henry vs. Kurt Angle. Henry is a monster heel here and has splashed Angle through a lot of tables to injure Kurt’s ribs.

 

Mark Henry vs. Kurt Angle

 

Henry sets up the announce table before Angle’s entrance. This was around the time that it was supposed to be Batista vs. Henry but Henry legit hurt Batista. Henry runs down the crowd and is really bad at it to say the least. Kurt takes over to start with a big rush of offense and we hit the mat which makes sense for Kurt to do so I can’t complain there at all.

 

Backdrop is countered by Angle into a sunset flip. Henry misses the drop down to Angle. I think it might have been a combination of him looking at Angle, yelling and then jumping as high as he could. Just a hunch though. To the floor and Angle tries a German through the table which doesn’t work of course.

 

Back in and it’s still almost all Kurt as he takes the leg out and throws on a hold. Tazz uses the eternally stupid line of “everybody is the same size on the mat.” No they’re not. Henry is still a lot bigger than Angle but he’s on the mat now. That doesn’t change the size difference. They get up and Kurt charges at him, only to get knocked down with ease.

 

Henry works on the back with various moves involving dropping down on the ribs with a lot of fatness. Kurt reverses the World’s Strongest Slam into a DDT though to reset things a bit. German sets up an Angle Slam which looked really bad as there was nothing special about it at all and it was really just a modified belly to back suplex. I mean it always is but this looked even worse.

 

World’s Strongest Slam hits but Kurt kicks out again. Henry, showing his offensive range, tries it again but gets reversed into the ankle lock. We hit the floor after a quick reversal and Henry sets for a splash on the table but Kurt rolls away. Henry instead splashes him against the post and wins by countout. Really?

 

Rating: D. Match was short and not very good on top of that. The ending made this a lot worse than it probably was but it saves both guys which helps a bit. Henry was just worthless though as he had no charisma and even less appeal. He was very boring but Vince kept giving him push after push for no apparent reason.

 

Post match Henry tries to splash him again but Kurt snaps and half kills Henry with a chair and the ankle lock w/grapevine. Angle Slam to the table but the table doesn’t break so Mark just falls off of it. BIG chair shot to the head and Henry goes crashing through the table.

 

Sharmell comes up to talk to Booker who likes the idea of being King. She lists off various kinds he’ll be better than such as Tut, Kong and Martin Luther.

 

Video on the King of the Ring, recapping who has been in so far etc.

 

King of the Ring: Booker T vs. Bobby Lashley

 

Booker beat Matt Hardy and got a bye to get here. Lashley beat Mark Henry and Finlay. Booker gets shoved down to start and they circle each other. I mean they circle each other A LOT. Lashley takes over with power shots and Booker can’t outmove him. A shoulder hits the post though and Lashley crashes to the floor. We go into the slowdown stuff here as Booker takes over on the arm.

 

Lashley fights back with a clothesline and stands around a lot. Sharmell interferes which gets them nowhere so they do it again and Booker takes over. Bookend gets a long two. This is rather boring stuff. Powerslam gets two for Lashley and the fans get WAY into it all of a sudden. Spinning heel kick sets up the axe kick for two. Lashley gets the spear but here’s Finlay with the club to Lashley’s head to let Booker hit the Bookend for the crown. He would win the title next.

 

Rating: D. I didn’t like this one at all for the most part. They felt like they were in the beginning of the match the entire time and it never worked for the most part. A D might be a bit low but at the same time I wasn’t thrilled with it in the slightest. It never got going at all and the whole thing was carried by Booker to say the least. At the time I never got the point of having Booker win but he was by far better at this point and in the long run it turned out to be the right move I think.

 

Booker is crowned which consists of him just throwing it on. Lashley spears him through the throne.

 

We recap Undertaker vs. Khali. Taker had been dominating and beat up Mark Henry so Daviari brought in Khali which was THE EXACT SAME THING they did in 1992 with Kamala, Giant Gonzalez and Harvey Whippleman. For no apparent reason they let Khali absolutely squash Rey in a non-title match. Khali beat up Taker and he disappeared, only to return tonight.

 

Great Khali vs. Undertaker

 

The gong gets a very solid pop as you would expect. Taker hammers away to start but gets nowhere at all. Scratch that as he gets sent to the floor. Khali tries the chop so Taker hammers away. And once again that gets him stuck on the floor. Nice job there dude. Cole turns into an Undertaker cheerleader as Taker gets a Stunner over the top.

 

You can tell this is a big match because Old School is countered. And of course, NO ONE has ever countered that before. I love revisionist history at time. Khali hammers away as well as he can, meaning this is really rather boring. Out to the floor again and Taker goes knees first into the steps. That looked painful beyond belief and people wonder why he wrestles like once a year anymore.

 

Back in and there’s the chop that killed Taker deader than dead before. Khali puts the foot on his chest and Taker kicks out. Of course he sits up and here comes Taker. Old School hits and Khali is staggering. Taker pounds away and hits the jumping clothesline to tie Khali up in the ropes. Fans are rapidly getting into this. Daivari gets up on the apron but the referee saves him. Khali gets untied and the chokeslam doesn’t work. A pair of chops sets up a boot to the head, allowing Khali to put his foot on Taker’s chest and get the clean pin. Now THAT is putting someone over.

 

Rating: D-. And the match sucked. Did you really expect anything else? The crowd is legit shocked as they probably should be. Khali was supposed to have various PPV matches with Taker but one time he was wellnessed and the second the company flat out said he wasn’t good enough to be on live PPV in a last man standing match so they had it on Smackdown with Taker of course winning. After that, he wound up as world champion so there we are.

 

Video/trailer for See No Evil, which was the movie Kane was in.

 

We recap JBL vs. Mysterio. Rey won the title at Mania and said he’ll fight anyone at anytime. WWE then promptly had Rey get crushed by Mark Henry, Kane and Khali. What a great way to get your champion over right? This was supposed to be a bully angle I think but it wasn’t anything interesting because at the end of the day it was JBL vs. Rey Mysterio for the world title and that simply wasn’t interesting for a main event.

 

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

 

JBL is US Champion here. The fans chant for Eddie because he’s facing JBL here. I mean, he’s the reason Rey won the title after all right? They stare each other down and JBL lifts Rey up and puts him on the corner. JBL takes over as this is pure power vs. speed. 619 is avoided and we hit the floor. Seated senton takes JBL down and a top rope cross body gets two back in the ring.

 

Ten punches in the corner as Rey continues the dominance. In a nice heelish move, Rey points to a fan, allowing Rey to hit a baseball slide to JBL’s baseballs. Dropkick puts Bradshaw back on the floor where he gets the big boot to put down Rey and take over. Rey’s wife is at ringside so the ending is pretty clear here. JBL’s knuckles are bloody from hammering on Rey so much.

 

JBL hits Three Amigos to really rub in the insults. Rey is busted also and gets kicked to the floor. Fall away slam on the floor as the bullying thing continues. He fires off some clotheslines but these are from purgatory I guess as they’re not finishing moves. Rey is bleeding badly. Rey gets up and fires back which gets him nowhere. Off to a sleeper/chinlock by Layfield which he lets go in exchange for a cover for two.

 

They hit the corner again but Bradshaw can’t get a top rope belly to back suplex. Moonsault press gets two and they’re both down. Rey tries a Bronco Buster but runs into a boot to his Pelotas. 619 hits out of nowhere but JBL pulls the referee in front of him and down he goes. BIG powerbomb but there’s no referee. Naturally that gets two so down goes that referee also. JBL gets a chair which is kicked into his face. 619 and Frog Splash keep the title on Rey. Chavo comes out for the celebration.

 

Rating: C+. Match was ok but there were no shocks in this at all. They just did their thing out there and while the match was ok we knew it wouldn’t be JBL that ended the reign. It’s better than most TV matches but it’s not much overall. Paint by numbers might be a good description of this but it was still pretty good.

 

Overall Rating: C-. There’s some ok stuff in this but at the same time the whole thing felt like a very b-list show. This is a show that could have been an In Your House back in the day and probably would have been a lot better off that way too. Not much of a show but they tried at least. Benoit vs. Finlay is good but not must see. Weak show overall and not worth seeing at all, but it’s nothing horrible.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

In something that won’t be said either before or again, this is going to be about a Dirty White Boy, Bismark, North Dakota and Big E. Langston.Back in the mid 1990s, the WWF had a stupid idea for a lot of one note characters, such as a wrestling monk, a rock guitarist, a magician (I think that one had potential but that’s for another time), cowboys, a garbageman and a tag team called Well Dunne.  All of these were really basic characters with only the cowboys (Smoking Gunns) going anywhere.  In addition to all these guys, there was one in particular I want to focus on: T.L. Hopper, as played by Tony Anthony (who wrestled as Dirty White Boy in SMW).

T.L. Hopper was a wrestling plumber.  End of gimmick.  Seriously, that’s it.  He was a wrestling plumber and nothing more.  We didn’t know whether to cheer him, boo him, or anything about him other than his job.  Why was he a wrestler?  Why not stay a plumber?  Was he the WWF plumber?  Was it a side job?  Why are we thinking of all these questions?  In short, there was nothing to this character and it didn’t shock anyone when he was gone in less than a year.

At the end of the day there was one major issue above all others with Hopper: there was nothing special about him.  Open your phone book and see how many plumbers you find in the yellow pages.  There are probably dozens if you live in a decent sized city.  In other words, there’s nothing special about a plumber.  This one happens to wrestle and that’s the end of the differences between him and any other plumber you can name.

Flash forward to about 2011.  Down in Florida Championship Wrestling, a power lifter turned wrestler joined the WWE developmental system.  His name was Big E. Langston and all we knew about him was that he was strong.  He needed a nickname so he was christened Florida’s Strongest Man.  Uh…..ok?

That’s kind of impressive but is he stronger than everyone in Oregon?  On the street I live on?  Can he out lift everyone in Bismark, North, Dakota?  Tell you what: I’ll go to Oregon and if the strongest man there sucks, I’ll come buy a ticket to see Langston, providing there isn’t a flight to Bismark later in the day.  It also didn’t help that there was a guy on the main WWE roster known as the World’s Strongest Man.  It really makes Langston look like a low rent imitation, so why would I want to pay for someone who might be one of the strongest men in the country, let alone the rest of the world?

The lesson here should be obvious: make the gimmick something you can’t find elsewhere.  Look at Kurt Angle when he debuted.  The emphasis was on the fact that he was the ONLY Olympic Gold Medalist in WWF History, as in no one else has ever done this.  Randy Orton is the APEX Predator, as in the top of the food chain.  Most titles are the WORLD Heavyweight Championship, not the Louisiana and Missouri Champion.

In short, make a gimmick something that will draw a crowd, not something that makes people look at what better options there are.  Make them say “I want to see THAT!”

Summerslam 1996
Date: August 18, 1996
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Mr. Perfect

Things have changed quite a bit since last year. For one thing, the NWO currently has its foot on the WWF’s neck but no one knew how bad it was going to get. Shawn was pretty much tanking as champion but he’s still defending tonight against Vader. The major match though is Undertaker vs. Mankind in a Boiler Room Brawl which has the potential to be awesome. Let’s get to it.

The pre-show match is kind of famous so I’ll throw it in as a bonus.

Steve Austin vs. Yokozuna

Austin is fresh off winning the King of the Ring and cutting the promo that made him famous. Yoko is so fat it’s terrifying at this point. Austin still has very slow music here which sounds like it belongs in a romantic drama. He goes right after the big man to start but a single right hand puts Steve down. A double middle finger earns Austin a Samoan drop and a legdrop. Yoko loads up the Banzai Drop and the freaking ring breaks with Yoko falling down to the mat, giving Austin an easy pin.

The opening video is about monsters like Vader and Mankind wearing masks but heroes standing up to them no matter what.

Owen Hart vs. Savio Vega

Owen has a broken arm/wrist coming in. Feeling out process to start with the referee warning Owen about using the cast. Savio does the smart thing by ramming the bad arm into the buckle to take over. We hit an armbar as we cut to Vader’s locker room to see Cornette firing him up. A monkey flip and a dropkick put Owen down and it’s back to the armbar. Owen kicks out of a rollup and sends Savio shoulder first into the post as momentum changes all of a sudden.

Off to a wristlock on Vega as the match is still waiting to get off the ground. Owen puts on a long armbar followed by a DDT on the arm for two. Vega bites his way out of the hold as the crowd is dead quiet for this. Owen charges into a boot and here’s Clarence Mason, a lawyer, to watch the match. An enziguri puts Vega down for two and a few rollups get the same for Savio.

Hart takes him down with a spinwheel kick but Savio comes back with right hands and clotheslines. Owen’s missile dropkick gets two as the crowd is into this all of a sudden. Hart is crotched on another top rope attempt but Savio lands on the cast in his belly to back superplex. Owen slips off the cast and lays out Savio (with the referee looking right at him), setting up the Sharpshooter for the win.

Rating: C. This took awhile to get going and could have shaved off five minutes or so. Savio was nothing special at all and Owen was in a transitional phase of his career as he was trying to become a singles guy but wasn’t ready to do it yet. The match wasn’t bad and picked way up but the ending was lame.

Post match Justin Hawk Bradshaw comes out to lay out Vega once again.

Todd Petingill is in the boiler room and finds Mankind licking a pipe and saying there’s no place like home.

Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. New Rockers vs. Bodydonnas vs. Godwinns

The heel Gunns are defending and this is under elimination rules. The New Rockers are Marty Jannetty and Leif Cassidy (Al Snow) and the Bodydonnas are Skip (Chris Candido) and Zip (Tom Pritchard). Skip is in a neck brace here due to a potentially broken neck but he’s wrestling anyway. The Gunns have Sunny who looks GREAT as a cowgirl. Billy Gunn starts with Henry Godwinn with Hank throwing Billy around with ease.

A wheelbarrow slam sends Billy out to the floor and it’s off to Phineas vs. Zip. After a comedic feeling out process it’s off to both Gunns at the same time. Zip and Phineas strut across the ring for no apparent reason as the Gunns freak out about having to fight each other. The referee says either make contact or be disqualified. After no contact, Bart tags in Zip so the crowd can have something else to be bored by. Jannetty trips Zip and Billy gets an easy pin so the Bodydonnas don’t have to be out there long.

Henry comes back in to crank on Billy’s arm but Billy quickly tags out to Jannetty. Marty slowly pounds on Henry and plays to the comatose crowd. Leif gets the tag but quickly brings in Billy to work over Henry. The Rockers have a miscue with the Gunns and Henry gets two off a side slam on Billy. Marty’s save results in an elbow drop on Billy as everything breaks down. Henry kicks Marty into Leif and hits the Slop Drop (reverse DDT) on Cassidy for the elimination.

We’re down to the Godwinns vs. the champions and it’s Bart in for the first time. Henry explodes out of the corner with a clothesline to put both guys down. Bart breaks up a tag attempt as this match is dragging terribly. Billy comes in and the place is so silent you can hear the insults between the wrestlers.

Back to Bart to pound away on Henry for a few moments before bringing Billy back in. Henry catches a charging Billy in a World’s strongest Slam and there’s the lukewarm tag to Phineas. He cleans house and everything breaks down with Phineas hitting the Slop Drop on Billy, only to have Bart blast Phineas from the top for the pin to retain.

Rating: D-. This was so boring I could barely keep my eyes open. The tag title scene was so barren at this point that there were practically zero interesting acts at all. That would be the case for over a year when the New Age Outlaws FINALLY brought the division back to life for a few years. Terribly boring match.

Post match Sunny insults the women in the audience and unveils a huge poster of herself to make the arena prettier.

Video on the Summerslam festivities in the city this weekend.

Sycho Sid vs. British Bulldog

Sid is just back after being out for about six months with an injury. He’s part of Shawn’s war with Camp Cornette, making this a lower level battle in the feud. The fans are WAY into Sid here which makes his title reigns a lot more understandable. Neither guy goes anywhere on some collisions until Sid slams him down to the floor. A LOUD Let’s Go Sid chant starts up, giving us more interest than the entire tag title match had combined.

Bulldog tries to power out of a headlock as the announcers talk about Mason being out here instead of Cornette again. A powerslam gets two for Sid but Bulldog comes back with the delayed vertical suplex. That’s some impressive power, especially on a guy that tall. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Bulldog clotheslines Sid to the floor. Bulldog clotheslines him down again and flips forward to entertain us while Sid is down. Back to the chinlock before Bulldog hits the powerslam clean, but here’s Cornette to argue with Mason. Another powersam is countered into the chokeslam and an AWESOME powerbomb is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match was better than you would think with both guys’ power stuff looking good. That powerbomb was great as Bulldog just stopped once he hit the mat and the selling was even better. Sid is just scary over at this point, which made his heel turn all the better. To be fair though, the fans just wouldn’t boo the guy even when he was a heel. Take that for what you will.

The managers keep arguing post match.

Video on Shawn.

Goldust vs. Marc Mero

Marlena and Sable are the seconds here and Goldust has a thing for the latter. Goldust takes him into the corner and rubs his own chest before slapping Mero in the face. Some armdrags take Goldie down and he hides in the corner. They run the ropes a bit with Mero getting two off a cross body and hooking an armbar. The crowd is dead again so the announcers talk about Ahmed Johnson’s kidney injury.

Back up and Goldust backdrops Mero out to the floor before dropping him throat first across the barricade. Goldust hooks a chinlock and here’s Mankind who has been calling Sable mommy lately. Some referees chase him off a few seconds later, making this your pointless cameo of the show. A knee to the ribs puts Mero down for two but he comes off the middle rope with a back elbow to the jaw.

A clothesline and a backdrop put Goldust down again and a million dollar kneelift does the same. Goldust counters punches in the corner and they both tumble to the floor but Mero slides back in and hits a running flip dive. A slingshot legdrop gets two followed by the debut of the Shooting Star Press, called the Wild Thing. Since this is 1996 WWF, it only gets two. A few seconds later Goldust hits the Curtain Call (reverse forward suplex) for the pin.

Rating: D. Another dull match here other than the Shooting Star. Goldust was all thought and character but little in the area of substance in the ring. The crowd was dead again here other than for the Wild Thing which was by far the most exciting thing in the match. There wasn’t much to see here but as was the case back then, a lot of matches on PPV were filler.

Goldust stalks Sable post match until Mero makes the save.

We recap Jake Roberts vs. Jerry Lawler. Jake claimed to have sobered up and was speaking at churches about how Jesus helped him overcome his demons. Lawler claimed that Roberts was a fraud (which was the case in real life as he was still hooked on crack) and tonight is the showdown.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts

Before the match we have the debut of a new Olympian who will be getting in the ring soon: Mark Henry. Lawler brings his own bag with him along with something in his pocket. He’s also wearing a Baltimore Ravens jersey (the beloved Cleveland Browns had recently moved to Baltimore and become the Ravens) because Lawler knows how to rile up a crowd like few others ever could. Henry thinks it’s hilarious despite being a face.

Lawler pulls out two bottles of Jim Beam to be Roberts’ partners tonight and says Roberts’ wife only looks good after a six pack. Henry is so stupid that if he won a gold medal he’d have it bronzed. Once Roberts uses his bar stool as a walker to get out here, Lawler is going to knock him sideways so everyone can recognize him. It’s very impressive how easily Lawler can have a crowd eating out of the palm of his hand like this.

Roberts finally comes out so Lawler pulls a huge bottle of booze from the bag. Jake pulls the snake out of his own bag to scare Lawler to the floor and the bell finally rings. Lawler looks for a microphone but Jake sends him face first into the steps and hammers away back inside. Back to the floor with Lawler being sent into various hard objects until he steals a drink from a fan to blind Jake. Henry: “So what is the fan going to drink?” Lawler gets one of the bottles from ringside but has to block a DDT attempt. Another DDT is countered and Jerry hits him in the throat with the bottle for the pin.

Rating: D. This was much more of an angle than a match with Lawler giving a great lesson in how to fire up a crowd. Roberts wouldn’t be around much longer before heading to ECW and the indies. This would lead to Henry’s first mini feud against Lawler which started got his career going in slow motion.

Post match Lawler says Roberts is holding his throat because he wants a drink. Lawler opens the big bottle to pour it down Jake’s throat but Mark Henry makes a delayed save.

Bob Backlund campaigns for President.

Paul Bearer comes to the ring. The next match will be won by retrieving the Urn from his hands.

Undertaker vs. Mankind

This is the Boiler Room Brawl, meaning the fight starts in the boiler room and you win by fighting to the ring and getting the Urn from Bearer. Taker goes into the room where Mankind is hiding somewhere. This is bordering on creepy as Taker is looking through the shadows to find Mankind but only finds machines. Mankind sneaks up on him with a pipe to the back as the fight begins. Keep in mind that the people in the arena are seeing this on TV screens as there’s no Titantron yet.

Undertaker comes back with a trashcan lid to the head and they brawl around the room with Mankind in control. The announcers have stopped talking as Mankind stuns Taker across a wooden stand. A stiff right hand puts Taker down and Mankind chokes away. The camera cuts out for a few moments so something can be edited and we come back with a trashcan shot putting Taker down.

Taker finds a pipe to knock the can into Mankind’s face but Mankind turns a valve to shoot steam into Taker’s face. A clothesline sends the can into Mankind’s face and the slow brawling continues. Taker hits him in the face with a wooden pallet but Mankind hits Taker low with a pipe of some kind. Mankind sends him into a wall and hits the running knee to drive Taker’s head into the wall again. An elbow off a ladder keeps Taker down and Mankind drags him along the floor.

The camera goes out again and the audience boos. Back with Undertaker laid out on the floor and Mankind setting up a ladder next to him. Mankind climbs up and in the best remembered spot of the match, Undertaker sits up and pulls him down onto a pile of pipes. Back up and Mankind goes for the door but Undertaker grabs him by the ankle. A fire extinguisher blast to the face puts Mankind down and it’s Undertaker out the door first. Mankind rams him into the door and gets out, only to fall in the aisle.

With Taker still inside Mankind barricade the door but Taker kicks it in anyway. They fight up the aisle with jobbers watching from the doors. Taker shoves him across the coffee area, allowing Mankind to get ahead a bit. He throws hot coffee onto Undertaker and crawls into the arena to give the fans something to see in person. Taker catches up with him and pounds away but Mankind keeps him out of the ring.

A Texas piledriver onto the concrete knocks Undertaker out cold but he sits up just in time to pull Mankind off the apron, slamming the back of his head into the concrete. Undertaker gets inside and gets on one knee in front of Paul but Bearer won’t give him the Urn. Mankind gets in and knocks Taker out with the Claw before Bearer does the unthinkable by turning on Undertaker and giving Mankind the Urn.

Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade as it was VERY long (nearly half an hour) and was unlike any other match up to this point. This match would have killed in the Attitude Era but here it’s just quite good. Bearer turning was shocking as he had managed Undertaker for nearly six years and I don’t think anyone believed he would ever turn on Undertaker.

Druids come out to carry Undertaker to the back. He’d be back the next night like nothing happened.

Camp Cornette is ready for Shawn Michaels. Cornette: “When Vader grabs you by the neck Shawn Michaels, you’re going to sound like Peter Frampton’s electric kazoo.” WHERE DOES HE COME UP WITH THIS STUFF???

WWF World Title: Vader vs. Shawn Michaels

Vader is challenging after pinning Shawn in a six man tag at In Your House #9. He pounds Shawn in the face to start before taking his head off with a clothesline. Shawn catches a big boot and leg sweeps Vader down before hitting a low dropkick to stun Vader. Michaels fires off rights and lefts from his knees and Vader bails to the floor. A HUGE dive takes him down again as the fans are finally waking up a bit.

Back in and a standing hurricanrana takes Vader down and a victory roll sends him back out to the floor. Shawn’s plancha into a hurricanrana is caught in a powerbomb and momentum changes in a hurry. Vader puts him on his shoulder and carries Shawn up the steps with one arm in a very impressive power display. A big suplex puts Shawn down again and Mr. Perfect gloats a lot. Shawn is sent into a Flair Flip in the corner and another whip sends him out to the floor.

Vader pounds away back inside but Shawn comes back with rights and lefts of his own. He can’t drop Vader though and a hard clothesline takes Shawn down again. Shawn tries to skin the cat but Vader pulls him back in and hits a kind of reverse jackknife for two. Off to a modified bearhug on the champion for a few moments until Shawn fights back with a running knee to the chest. Vader blocks a sunset flip but his jumping seated senton hits knees.

A hard clothesline puts Vader down and we get a semi-famous spot as Shawn goes up but aborts the elbow in mid flight, instead hitting a flying stomp. He throws a fit and yells at Vader before a cross body puts both guys on the floor. Vader drops Shawn throat first across the barricade…..for a countout win? Seriously? Female fan: “NO! NO! NO!” Cornette agrees because he wants to win the title by pin instead of countout.

Shawn agrees to get back in but Vader punches him down on the floor. Cornette pops Shawn in the back with the tennis racket and a belly to belly gets two for Vader. Michaels punches his way out of the powerbomb and hits the forearm/nip-up combo. He tunes up the band but Cornette throws in the racket, only to have Shawn intercept it and blast Vader for the DQ.

The third part of the match begins (Cornette, WE DON’T WANT IT THAT WAY, ring the bell again) with Shawn avoiding another seated senton and now the top rope elbow connects. Sweet Chin Music only gets two and the referee is knocked to the floor. Vader hits the powerbomb and a second referee comes in to count two. Cornette is stunned as Vader goes up, only to miss the moonsault. Shawn goes up top and hits a moonsault press to retain the title.

Rating: B+. I’ve only seen this match once or twice and it really holds up. Shawn was in his element here against a monster and he capitalized on Vader’s greed for the title to finally beat him. The problem was the people didn’t care about Shawn until he got in the ring which made him a hard sell for the fans. Still though, excellent match here.

Overall Rating: C. Well the last two matches are both good to great, but it takes awhile to get there. Thankfully for the show those matches take up over an hour of the card and help things out a lot. Unfortunately the NWO was running roughshod on the wrestling world at this point so the good matches here didn’t mean much at all. This wasn’t one of the stronger entries in the series though.

Ratings Comparison

Owen Hart vs. Savio Vega

Original: B+

Redo: C

Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas vs. New Rockers vs. Godwinns

Original: B-

Redo: D-

British Bulldog vs. Sycho Sid

Original: D

Redo: D+

Marc Mero vs. Goldust

Original: C+

Redo: D

Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts

Original: C-

Redo: D

Mankind vs. Undertaker

Original: A-

Redo: B

Vader vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A-

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: C

Did I owe this show money a few years ago? My jaw is hanging open as I read these ratings again.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/30/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1996-mick-foley-has-arrived/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews for just $5 from Amazon at:

Also check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books as low as $4 at:

Saturday Night’s Main Event 33
Date: July 15, 2006
Location: American Airlines Arena, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, JBL, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re back four months later for another SNME. There’s really nothing being built up to here although I guess you could say Great American Bash, even though it was only a Smackdown PPV. This is really the last chance for SNME before it becomes just a throwaway show as we have Cena vs. Edge for the world title. There’s also an elimination match with DX vs. the Spirit Squad. I was at a fair when this show happened I think and watched it when I got home. Oh and ECW is here now. Let’s get to it.

We open with Hogan and Brooke as I have visions of TNA dancing in my head. Oh sorry I have a bad connection. That’s T&A dancing. I had a future vision of Brooke becoming the stripper she was born to be. Brooke says this is a dream of hers. I thought that was Hulk getting lost one day and not embarrassing her anymore. Hogan says Hulkamania is alive. Orton comes out and gives Brooke a rose and challenges him for Summerslam, which is on. Match sucked of course. Brooke stares at Orton as they leave.

Finlay/Booker T./Mark Henry vs. Rey Mysterio/Bobby Lashley/Batista

It’s Booker and Rey who is world champion at the moment, Lashley and Finlay who just won the US Title and Batista and Henry who have a number one contender’s match at the Bash. Batista of course gets a bigger pop than the world champion. Rey would lose it at the Bash in case you were wondering. They start this out just like you would expect it to before we have Batista and Henry with their big showdown.

Horny, not known as that yet, hits Rey to give the forces of evil the advantage. Cole asking how much more of him are we going to put up with amuses me. Rey has issues fighting Henry and we see how they screwed up his reign. No one bought him as anything because until he got Booker he was only against monsters which is freaking DUMB. Patrick throws up an X for some reason as someone is hurt I guess.

I think it was Henry if I remember correctly. Yeah it was as he whispers something to the referee before the X goes up. Yeah he didn’t have the match with Batista as I think Kennedy got it instead. Yeah he ripped his knee to shreds and split it in two. Batista gets the hot tag and ends Booker. Was Lashley ever even in the match? I’m actually not sure. That’s rather pathetic.

Rating: D+. Well if nothing else the feuds lined up. The match was complete and utter crap but that shouldn’t surprise anyone that’s been paying attention. There wasn’t much here as it was all the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION getting beaten on and Batista, NOT THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION making the save. Seriously I can’t get over how badly they messed him up as champion. It could have worked with bookers not muscle crazed writing it.

Vince tries to fire up the Spirit Squad while DX interrupts. Hijinks ensue. DX more or less do commentary on his promo which we can’t hear. They imply Vince likes being spanked.

We get a clip from the first round of Bikini Bull Riding and it’s Michelle vs. Victoria in the finals.

Johnny Nitro/Melina vs. Carlito/Trish Stratus

Morrison is the IC Champion here and has Carlito soon and the same is true with the humans with vaginas. The girls start. Carlito was actually working hard at this point and actually caring so this is at least entertaining. And as soon as they come in Trish hits a Thesz Press to the floor and the Back Cracker ends it. Wow that was fast.

Rating: N/A. What was the point of this again? At least give them four minutes or so. Oh that’s right: we need bull riding.

Kevin Von Erich is here. Good to know.

DX vs. Spirit Squad

DX cuts a generic promo first. This is elimination rules with the eliminate people being put into a cage. The cage thing was added just before the match but they just happened to have them laying around I guess. Ok then. It amazes me that one of those people is Dolph freaking Ziggler. Shawn and Mikey start us out. Shawn hits all five guys in the head with the plastic megaphone and they huddle up.

HHH and an air horn break that up pretty quickly though. Mitch meets a boot and it’s 4-2 as we go to commercial. A spinebuster puts out Johnny. Kenny tries to leave and that goes badly for him. Apparently it’s a no holds barred match. Vince pops Shawn with a chair for general evil purposes I guess. On the DX DVD they air the stuff that happened in the commercials.

That’s actually interesting as if nothing else for extreme collectors it’s something that you might want for some reason. It’s different if nothing else. HHH more or less beats up all three guys by himself which makes sense here for a change. See you Nick. Ok make it 2-1 now. And you know the rest. Shawn superkicks Vince into the cage and we go to commercial.

Rating: D-. Way to make the champions look legit there guys. Seriously, HOW DID DX NEVER WIN THE TAG TITLES??? That makes less than no sense. They beat these guys about 10 times and they never won the stupid belts. That’s where they lost what little credibility they had. Actually that’s because of male cheerleaders having them. Never mind.

Sabu is in the WWE. Good to know.

Khali and Daivari are in the ring and say they’ll beat Taker. Show comes out and says he’s the real giant. Taker comes out and you know the rest. Taker goes through a table. The Khali Taker match never happened mind you.

Show hypes up his match with taker on Tuesday on ECW which is actually a cool idea that they need to go back to: a guest competitor on the show to fight the champion once a week. It would give us a reason to watch or something I guess, even though the show is already cool.

Sabu vs. Stevie Richards

And here’s your token ECW match that no one will care about. This is an extreme rules match thank goodness. Richards is talented if nothing else. He doesn’t get an entrance though so there we are. Sabu kind of hits a triple jump moonsault but kind of doesn’t which is a good result for him. It’s table time and an Arabian Facebuster later we’re done.

Rating: N/A. Sabu would be gone in a few weeks as Van Dam and he had gotten caught in the car with the pot and the kettle and the dinette set.

Orton hits on Brooke more and then RKOs Hulk on a car which didn’t actually connect but whatever.

After another commercial it’s time for the bull riding thing. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled. McCool, the teacher here, is first. Not a bikini but whatever. Ross is ticked off at Orton so he won’t talk. I really don’t like him at times. She lasts 12 seconds. Victoria is a half cowboy and half Indian. We get a nice back shot if nothing else. She’s off in 7 seconds so McCool wins. I don’t care either. This took less than 2 minutes total.

Lita and good night how is she staying in that top? Wow. Anyway she and Edge are on the way.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. John Cena

Anyone think this is going to work at all? We get the big match intros which I always love. And we’re at a commercial a minute in. This is going to suck isn’t it? Edge is more or less dominating here and keeps putting Cena down at every turn. Edge needs that one big win in his career and he’s never really gotten it.

It’s nice having a title match here. It makes the show feel important if nothing else. The BOO YAY thing gets going with the fans being on Edge’s side. Cena CENAS UP but Lita pulls the referee out for the FU for the cheap DQ. Cena responds by FUing Edge from the stairs through the table to end this and the show.

Rating: C-. Not bad but way too short to be good. These two have fought about a thousand times as you know from the thread in the wrestling sections a few days/weeks ago. This was fine and it was a title match on SNME so I can’t complain on that front. Nothing great at all but I’ve seen far worse.

Overall Rating: D. There’s very little here but at least the first and last matches made sense. Again though you could really feel that there was no point at all to this and it was just a total mess of a show. No one really cared about it from a fans’ perspective but there’s some watchable stuff so that’s fine I guess. Take a look at this one maybe as it’s the 2nd best of the revived shows.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 

Smackdown
Date: July 8, 2011
Location: Tucson Arena, Tucson, Arizona
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Booker T, Michael Cole

 

 

This was taped last week but for Smackdown that’s not going to change anything from the norm. Tonight we get some fallout from last week with Sheamus interjecting himself into the main event scene to end the show. Other than that we’ll probably be building up to Money in the Bank with some more stuff between the ladder match guys. Let’s get to it.

 

 

We open with a recap of the ending of last week’s show where Orton signed the contract but before Christian did, Sheamus returned and beat both guys up and ripped up the contract.

 

 

Do you know your enemy? Mine is a really bad sunburn.

 

 

Most of the MITB guys are in the ring but I only see seven right now. Sheamus is missing I believe. Everyone gets to say something. Bryan says he’s excited and nervous because he’s wanted to be world champion since he was a little kid. Cody cuts him off and says it’s because Bryan is a common man incapable of the things exceptional people do. Cody is one of those exceptional people. Once he wins the title everyone will have to swallow their pride and look him in the eye.

 

 

Barrett says he’s tired of hearing about what everyone else has done. He starts listing off his accomplishments but here’s Sheamus with a chair. He cracks almost everyone with it and clears the ring. Sheamus says he’ll win and cash in on Orton when he beats Christian. He’s going to get Orton tonight though, because of getting punted last month. Here’s Christian who asks if Sheamus thinks he can’t beat Orton. Sheamus calls him a scrawny, malnourished, googly eyed homely weasel.

 

 

Christian points out that he beat Sheamus a few weeks ago before Orton punted Sheamus. He’ll also be world champion after MITB. There’s a clause in the contract, saying that if Orton gets disqualified or if there’s bad officiating, Christian is automatically world champion. Christian calls him Ronald McDonald and asks if he can even read a contract. Sheamus throws the chair at him and here’s Teddy. Orton vs. Sheamus is the main event. Really solid opening segment here as Sheamus looked fired up and intimidating. I’m liking this three way feud a lot and they’re running it perfectly.

 

 

Clip of the first MITB match with Edge winning and cashing in about 9 months later.

 

 

Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase vs. Daniel Bryan/Ezekiel Jackson

 

 

Booker gets a bag again. DiBiase and Bryan start us off with DiBiase not being able to do much. Off to Jackson who is part of the Fave Five of Booker. We actually get the full list: McIntyre, Jackson, Sheamus, Barrett, Cara and a dark horse in Ryder. The good guys clear the ring and send Cody to the floor as we take a break. Back with Bryan firing off kicks to Cody in the corner.

 

 

Cody avoids a charge in the corner and backdrops Bryan onto the corner and catches him in an Alabama Slam for two. It’s off to DiBiase who keeps the advantage and hits a chinlock. Back off to Cody who uses his old school style to dominate even more. DiBiase chokes some more. Cole picks Wade Barrett to win MITB. Bryan gets a boot up in the corner and Josh picks Sin Cara, the same as Booker. Hot tag to Big Zeke who gets a nice reaction. He starts slamming people and Racks DiBiase but it’s broken up by a Beautiful Disaster and Dream Street gets the pin at 6:45 shown of 10:15.

 

 

Rating: C+. Pretty basic tag match here but for the love of all things good and holy Vince, why do you think midcard champions always have to lose? He won the title and then beat Barrett a second time and now he’s lost to Rhodes (not that bad) and then to DiBiase. Why in the world would that be something they’d think is smart? I don’t get why midcard champions are booked into the ground so often anymore but it’s getting annoying.

 

 

Video on Mark Henry and his domination as of late.

 

 

Striker tells Henry he’s facing potential fines, suspensions and criminal charges after what he did last week. Henry breathes a lot.

 

 

Jinder Mahal vs. Trent Barreta

 

 

During Mahal’s entrance we hear about some empire he’s built up and we don’t hear anything about his wife/Khali’s sister. Are they already changing the story? Anyway Khali sits in on commentary (you read that right) and actually speaks some English now. Total squash in the ring and the full nelson slam ends it at 1:04. The camera was on Khali more than the match. Post match Cole mentions the story we got last week.

 

 

Sheamus says his recent rampage is an Irish thing.

 

 

AJ vs. Tamina

 

 

Cole: “Hopefully this doesn’t put me to sleep like a Harlem Heat match.” Josh: “Tell me you didn’t just say that.” AJ has different hair now as it’s a bit lighter and a bit wavier. Natalya and Alicia are at ringside. Cole bashes Natalya for most of the match as Tamina dominates with an Umaga hip smash to the face. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long. AJ fights back and hits a Shining Wizard for two. Tamina misses a splash in the corner and AJ gets a rollup for the pin at 2:28.

 

 

Alicia yells at Tamina post match.

 

 

Mark Henry vs. Kane

 

 

Kane looks terrified but hammers away to start. Henry runs him over but Kane gets three dropkicks, two to the knees and a seated one to the chest, for two. Top rope clothesline is caught in a belly to belly for two. Henry stands on the chest for a bit and Kane is in trouble. The big fried freak fires off a right hand and the crowd is surprisingly into this. Big boot puts Henry down for two.

 

 

Kane goes up again and this time the clothesline hits. He loads up the chokeslam but Henry breaks out of it and headbutts Kane. A second attempt at the chokeslam hits but Henry gets his foot on the ropes. Out to the floor and Kane tries a chokeslam through the table but Henry breaks it up, ramming Kane into the post. Back inside a splash gets two. Mark is all ticked off now and the World’s Strongest Slam gets the pin at 5:52.

 

 

Rating: C. For a battle of the big men this was fine. They kept it relatively short which is the right idea for sure. If they want Henry to be taken as a big threat, this is the kind of win he needs. Kane is still someone with credibility and Henry beating him clean by just overpowering him is a good thing for him. I still don’t get the appeal or point of pushing Henry but it’s his every other year push so it’s to be expected.

 

 

Henry yells at the announcers post match.

 

 

Orton says he doesn’t care what the contract says because he’s going to win with the RKO. As for Sheamus, he’ll have to defend the title against him eventually but as for tonight, good luck to him.

 

 

Video of Miz winning MITB last year.

 

 

Tyson Kidd vs. Sin Cara

 

 

There go the lights again. Kidd grabs an armbar to take him down almost immediately. Cara speeds things up and hits an armdrag to send Kidd to the floor. Cara tries a dive or something similar to one, only to get his head slammed into the apron. Back inside Cara hits a slingshot corkscrew splash for two. Off to a chinlock by Kidd as the fans chant for Cara. Kidd keeps countering Cara’s moves and it’s working pretty well. He tries a springboard elbow but Cara gets the knees up to block it.

 

 

Cole says his name would be Billy the Kid if he was a superstar. Booker and Josh are quiet for a bit and then laugh at him. Cara starts his comeback and gets a victory roll into a sunset flip for two. Kidd kicks him down and goes up, only to get dropped onto the buckle. They go up again and the C4 off the top ends this at 4:16.

 

 

Rating: B-. Pretty good stuff here as I didn’t notice any botches which is a change for Cara. Granted they may have been edited out but that’s the perk of a taped show. Anyway not bad here and Cara is starting to get better slowly but surely as he’s having more coherent matches rather than just doing random spots. Good stuff.

 

 

Teddy is asked if he’s intimidated by Henry and won’t answeron.

 

 

Video on Ezekiel Jackson.

 

 

Usos vs. Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater

 

 

The matches are good but we’ve seen this how many times now? The Usos do their dance thing on the way to the ring. Jey has a tattoo on his chest apparently so he starts us off with Gabriel. Slater comes in rather quickly and takes Jey down as the crowd is more or less silent. Booker talks about the Fave Five again and it’s already annoying. Gabriel comes in and gets two before hitting a headlock. After some silence on commentary, Booker randomly says that no one likes Cole.

 

 

Double big boot puts both guys down as Jimmy tries to get the crowd back to life. It’s not really working but points for trying at least. Off to Jimmy vs. Slater with Jimmy being labeled as the powerhouse. Bubba Bomb puts Slater down as Booker says they both need gain another hundred pounds or so. Samoan Drop gets two on Slater. Slater manages to take him down with something like a Zig Zag and it’s off to Gabriel. He wants the 450 but Slater gets kicked into the ropes to crotch Justin. We get Power and Glory’s old finisher (superplex/top rope splash combo) to end Gabriel at 3:32.

 

 

Rating: C+. Another fine match but again, we’ve seen this how many times now? The teased tension between the former Nexus/Corre is what you would expect as they’ve been a successful team long enough so it’s time to split them in a feud that not many people want to see. Anyway this was fine and it’s cool to see the Usos have an actual finisher.

 

 

Johnny Curtis is at a table with a bunch of birthday stuff on it. He takes the cake. Debut him already and get it over with.

 

 

We get an abbreviated version of Cena and Vince from Raw.

 

 

We run down the MITB card. Henry vs. Show is official.

 

 

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

 

 

Christian vs. Orton has been signed apparently and the Canadian is on commentary here. Orton fires away in the corner and Sheamus is in trouble. Pretty basic back and forth stuff here as Orton counters some Sheamus offense with a dropkick. He loads up the punt but Sheamus hits the floor. Back in Orton hits his way too enthusiastic Thesz Press and they slug it out to the floor.

 

 

Orton gets reversed into the railing and part of the wall falls down. Elevated DDT is blocked and Orton goes shoulder first into the post and back out to the floor. Christian goes after Orton but Sheamus stops him. Orton goes into the post again as we take a break. Back with Sheamus hitting a DDT to the arm for two. Orton makes a brief comeback but takes a knee to the ribs to put him right back down.

 

 

Randy makes his comeback and uses his regular stuff including the scoop powerslam. He adds something new to the arsenal with a belly to belly suplex for two. Sheamus gets a kick to the knee and pulls himself up to the top for a shoulder block for two. Irish Curse gets two. Brogue Kick and RKO are countered and Orton hits the backbreaker. Not that it matters as Christian comes in for the DQ at 8:24 shown of 11:54, giving Orton the win.

 

 

Rating: B-. Not a great match or anything but compared to the stuff these two were putting on in 2010, their recent stuff has been a miracle. I was thinking Sheamus would win MITB and then cash in at the end of the night but now I’m not so sure. Either way, not a bad match here and fine for a TV main event.

 

 

Post match Sheamus lays out Christian but walks into an RKO to leave Orton standing tall to close the show.

 

 

Overall Rating: B. While a step down from last week this was still good stuff. The key thing to Smackdown is they don’t waste time. Everything they do is either advancing a story, in ring action or promoting one of their wrestlers. This show was no exception as everything on here had a point, which is rare in today’s wrestling product. Anyway good show but not as good as last week.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at: