Monday Night Raw
Date: March 11, 1996
Location: Freeman Coliseum, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 9,364
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re less than three weeks away from Wrestlemania and this time around we’re in Shawn Michaels’ hometown. That sounds like it has quite a few makings for some Michaels excellence, though the rest of Wrestlemania could use some attention of its own. It’s not going so well thus far, but with a one hour match on the card, there is only room for so much else. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening preview.

Opening sequence.

Savio Vega vs. Steve Austin

Austin, with Ted DiBiase, is now officially STONE COLD. Has a nice ring to it no? I’m not sure on the white boots though. Austin shoulders him down to start and grabs a headlock but Vega is right back with a crossbody. Back up and Vega misses a kick to the head, allowing Austin to hit an ax bomber of all things.

Some choking on the ropes and a suplex give Austin two and he fires off shoulders in the corner. As the beating ensues, we see a former Olympian named Mark Henry sitting in the front row. We take a break and come back with Austin dropping a leg to the back of the head for two. Vega is right back with a hiptoss into the running spinwheel kick in the corner. They brawl out to the floor and it’s a double countout at 9:51.

Rating: B-. These guys always worked well together and it was good to see Austin getting the chance to be out there with someone so talented. Vega really was an underrated in-ring star and Austin has praised his work over the years. At the same time, it’s cool to see Austin starting to develop into the superstar he would become, as it’s quite the game changing effort.

Post match the brawl stays on, with Vega clearing the ring to set up their rematch at Wrestlemania.

We see a clip from during the break of Mark Henry muscling Lawler around.

Here are Goldust and Marlena, plus Roddy Piper, for a chat. Piper calls him a transvestite and mocks Goldust’s “movie” from last week. He accuses Goldust of just trying to get attention. Piper beat up Adrian Adonis with a baseball bat and declares himself a lesbian. Goldust’s attempts at playing the bagpipes doesn’t bother him but turning the Intercontinental Title into a joke bothers him. Not even Freddy Kruger comes into Piper’s nightmares but Goldust says he wants a piece of Piper and drops to his knees.

Goldust invites him to his back lot as he slowly crawls around Piper. He lifts up the kilt and asks for a sneak preview, which is too far for Piper. Goldust licks his (own) lips and slaps Piper, who slaps him back. The challenge is accepted, with Piper promising to make a man out of him. To call this not good would be an understatement, but there is only so much that they could do with Piper being brought in as a last second replacement for the suspended Razor Ramon.

Godwinns vs. Jerry Meade/Alex Porteau

Henry clothesline Meade down to start and it’s off to Phineas, who fights out of the corner. House is quickly cleaned and Henry gives Porteau the Slop Drop for the pin at 1:52.

Shawn Michaels was in his hometown of San Antonio earlier with Jose Lothario and we look at their training regimen.

Meanwhile, Bret Hart is training in Calgary, meaning a lot of cardio and working with Stu Hart. Bret agrees that Michaels is good, but he isn’t the best.

Video on the Ultimate Warrior.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Vin Grier

Helmsley, who is facing the Warrior at Wrestlemania, starts fast with a suplex. The quick beating doesn’t take long as Helmsley finishes with the Pedigree at 1:52.

Scheme Gene previews the Huckster vs. the Nacho Man, which involves the Huckster being old and the Nacho Man having a bald spot. At least this was a bit better than mocking Ted Turner to no end.

Yokozuna/Undertaker vs. Owen Hart/British Bulldog

During Undertaker’s entrance, Diesel doesn’t seem to be impressed. Undertaker and Yokozuna tease a brawl before the bell but wind up taking out the other two instead. Yokozuna drops the big leg on Bulldog and Undertaker takes Hart outside as Diesel comes in for a cheap shot on Paul Bearer. That’s enough for Undertaker to give chase and we take a break. We come back with Hart dropping an elbow for two on Yokozuna, who fights up anyway. Cue Vader to jump Yokozuna for the DQ at 5:20.

Rating: C. This wasn’t much of a match and was more about advancing/likely setting up stuff for Wrestlemania. That’s a good enough way to wrap up the show as Wrestlemania needs some more build outside of the main event. Undertaker vs. Diesel is the second biggest match on the card and Diesel going after Bearer is as good of a way to go as any.

Post match Ahmed Johnson and Jake Roberts run in for the save and brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This show was about building towards Wrestlemania and that’s a good sign with just a few weeks to go before the pay per view. A bunch of the matches were advanced in the span of an hour, with the big angle at the end likely setting up a six man tag. Good, efficient show here and that’s what Wrestlemania needed.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Battle Royal Collection
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon, Vince McMahon, Joey Styles, Bill Mercer, Tony Schiavone

Well, as usual the Vault saves me from having to come up with a catchy name for these things. It’s one of those deals where the idea is right there and we have a bunch of these to go through. This should be interesting as battle royals can go in all kinds of directions, often out of nowhere. Let’s get to it.

From Smackdown, January 13, 2006.

World Heavyweight Championship: Battle Royal

Bobby Lashley, JBL, Paul London, Brian Kendrick, Sylvan, Nunzio, Super Crazy, Simon Dean, Matt Hardy, Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, Mark Henry, Rey Mysterio, Kurt Angle, Orlando Jordan, Vito, Animal, William Regal, Psicosis, Paul Burchill

For the vacant title after Batista got injured. Angle is a surprise so JBL goes after him and is quickly suplexed. Angle tosses JBL and Vito so a bunch of people jump Angle at once. An early elimination attempt is blocked as Angle slips back under the ropes, allowing him to go after Mysterio. That’s broken up and Mysterio can’t get rid of Jordan. Animal and Henry have the big slugout with Henry knocking him out.

We take a break and come back with Dean having been eliminated, followed by Nunzio and Jordan being tossed as well. Angle throws out Regal and Burchill but Henry jumps him from behind. Henry knocks Angle outside and follows him (neither are eliminated) as London is tossed. A gorilla press sends Angle through the announcers’ table to leave him laying and Henry gets back inside. Lashley gives Henry a running shoulder but knocks himself down, allowing Henry to kick him out. Kendrick is out as well and we take another break.

We come back with Hardy getting rid of Sylvan, leaving us with Hardy, Henry, Mercury, Mysterio and Nitro, plus Angle on the floor. Henry gets rid of Hardy and Mysterio eliminates Nitro and Mercury. Mysterio realizes he’s alone with Henry but loads up the Eddie Dance to show he’s serious. Some kicks to the leg stagger Henry and the 619 connects. Another one hits the ribs and Mysterio tries to pull him out, only to get sent to the apron.

A springboard is pulled out of the air though and Mysterio is tossed, but Angle gets up. The straps come down and Angle hammers away but Henry runs him over. Back up and an Angle Slam drops Henry, who is right back with a running splash in the corner. Angle manages a headscissors choke but Henry powerbombs the heck out of him for the break. They get up again and Angle hits a German suplex, followed by the front facelock. Angle can’t get him out but another headscissors lets Angle get the elimination and the title at 23:57.

Rating: B-. They weren’t hiding the fact that Angle was the heavy favorite here, but Henry felt like a monster in his own right. There’s nothing wrong with letting you know what’s going to happen from a mile away on occasion and that was the case here. Angle is a good choice for the last minute champion and the fans were into what they were seeing, so I’ll take what we got here.

From Saturday Night’s Main Event X.

Battle Royal

Honky Tonk Man, Sika, Ax, Smash, Koko B. Ware, Nikolai Volkoff, Hillbilly Jim, Andre The Giant, Hulk Hogan, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Paul Orndorff, Lanny Poffo, Butch Reed, Tama, Billy Jack Haynes, Haku, Blackjack Mulligan, Hercules, Ron Bass

Commentary completely ignores everyone other than Hogan and Andre during the entrances and…well yeah. Hogan and Andre square off but Orndorff and others jump them to start fast. Honky Tonk Man is out in a hurry and Andre gets rid of Sika as well. Andre beats up Jim and Mulligan before tossing out Haku with ease. One heck of a headbutt busts Poffo open and Andre tosses him in a hurry.

Poffo is gushing blood on the floor as he’s taken out on a stretcher as Andre beats on Mulligan (who stands 6’6 and weighs about 350lbs and is dwarfed by Andre). Bass is out and Mulligan follows him. Hogan dumps Volkoff as Ventura is begging to see Hogan vs. Andre. There goes Blair and Hogan is whipped into Andre and HERE WE GO!

Hogan slugs away and Ware of all people jumps Andre. Thanks you bird brain. Hogan dumps Orndorff but Andre grabs Hogan for the headbutts and tosses him with no trouble. We take a break and come back with Hogan still leaving and a bunch of people getting together to toss Andre, who takes the interest in the match with him.

Hercules tosses Tama and Ax is gone. Smash dumps Hillbilly and Ware dropkicks Reed out to get us down to four. We have a bizarre tag match of Smash and Hercules against Ware and Haynes (sounds Lethal Lotteryish). Ware is tossed and a double clotheslines has Haynes in trouble. Haynes manages to dump Smash though and slugs it out with Hercules. Cue Bobby Heenan on the apron for a distraction though and Hercules dumps Hayes for the win at 11:16.

Rating: C+. This was a tale of two battle royals, as you have everything before the Hogan vs. Andre showdown/eliminations and then everything after them. That’s where things fall apart, because there was no reason to care in the slightest after the two of them were gone. Andre was feeling like a monster though and the heat for the showdown with Hogan was great, so I’ll let the rest slide.

From Superstars, February 25, 1995.

Battle Royal

Sionne, Fatu, Jacob Blu, Jerry Lawler, King Kong Bundy, Duke Droese, Aldo Montoya, 1-2-3 Kid, Mantaur, Mabel, Jimmy Del Ray, Adam Bomb, Bob Holly, Mo, Shawn Michaels, British Bulldog, Kwang, Henry Godwinn, Eli Blu, Tom Pritchard

Michaels runs away from a mob and eliminates himself to spare quite a bit of pain. We settle way down with everyone brawling and no one really coming close to being eliminated. Lawler has to run away from Mabel and we slow down again. Jacob is knocked over the top to finally get rid of someone else and we take a break. We come back with Godwinn backdropping Droese out, which Lawler finds hilarious. Del Ray is out and Mabel splashes Bundy onto Kwang in the corner. Holly clotheslines Montoya out and Godwinn is gone as well, followed by Fatu.

Bomb and Pritchard are both out and Kid fires off the kicks to Lawler in the corner. Bundy and Mantaur get rid of Mabel, with Bundy saying he did it by himself. A bunch of people toss Bundy and we take another break. We come back with Holly getting tossed and we’re down to six. Kid and Smith get Lawler out to the apron but he hangs on, even landing on one foot to stay alive. Lawler tells the audience to stay quiet because he’s still officially in.

Cue Bret Hart to look at the hopping Lawler, with a rather amusing look on his face. Lawler tries to hop away (Vince: “He looks like a demented kangaroo out there.”) but Hart stomps on his foot and that’s enough for Lawler in a funny bit. Hart beats on him a bit more and we’re down to five.

Kwang misses a spinwheel kick and gets eliminated by Bulldog. That leaves us with Bulldog, Eli, Kid and Mantaur, with Eli tossing Kid. Bulldog gets rid of Mantaur and the powerslam hits “either Jacob or Eli” but here is Michaels to cheap shot Bulldog so Eli can take over. Then Bulldog low bridges Eli out anyway for the win at 13:51.

Rating: D. The only entertaining part here was the Hart segment and this was a really lame battle royal as a result. Bulldog was the only realistic winner near the end and that made for a long stretch until the finish. Nothing to see here and given that it was the doldrums of 1995, that shouldn’t be a surprise in the slightest.

From ECW Hardcore TV, December 24, 1996.

Battle Royal

This is a King Of The Hill battle royal, meaning pinfall, submission or over the top eliminations. Taz is in the ring (but not an entrant) when the lights go out and Sabu is in at #1. The Eliminators (Saturn and Kronus) are in at #2 and #3 and give Sabu a pair of Total Eliminations. Taz heads outside to yell at Sabu as New Jack and Mustafa (the Gangatas) are in at #4 and #5.

A mini tag match breaks out while Sabu is down and Taz leaves. Another pair of Total Eliminations hit the Gangstas and the Eliminators eliminate them. Sabu gets dropped with a rather rough spike piledriver as Rob Van Dam is in at #6. Van Dam (and his snazzy pants) can’t do much on his own but Sabu is back up for the save as another tag match breaks out. Balls Mahoney (he’s new at this point) is in at #7 and the fans think he’s fat. Spike Dudley is in at #8 as Van Dam hits a nasty looking springboard kick to Mahoney’s face.

Things settle down a bit as it’s more of a standard brawl, which is pretty logical for ECW. Little Guido is in at #9 and is immediately kicked in the face by Saturn. Another Total Elimination gets rid of Spike and Bubba Ray Dudley is in at #10. Bubba shrugs off Guido’s forearms and gorilla presses him out for the big crash. Van Dam and Mahoney are out, leaving us with the Eliminators vs. Sabu/Bubba.

Chris Candido is in at #11 to help Saturn break up Sabu’s camel clutch on Bubba (so much for that partnership). Saturn saves Candido from Sabu and hits a powerbomb but Sabu is back up with a springboard clothesline to the Eliminators. Brian Lee is in at #11 as Candido eliminates Kronus. Bubba is knocked out by Lee and Shane Douglas is in at #12. Douglas stomps away at Saturn and Candido gets two on Sabu.

Tommy Dreamer is in at #13 and Douglas panics, eliminating himself rather than face Dreamer. Saturn and Dreamer drop everyone else, with Saturn superkicking Candido through the ropes. Sabu is back up with a double clothesline to Candido as D-Von Dudley is in at #14. Lee has a chair to clean house until Sabu takes it away and chairs D-Von for two. Sandman is in at #15 and goes after Saturn as the ring is starting to get full. Saturn is kicked out and Sabu moonsaults D-Von for two.

Louie Spicoli is in at #16 and tosses Candido out and a bunch of people go after D-Von for two more. Lee tosses Dreamer and Spicoli as the Blue World Order is in at Stevie Cool, Nova and the Blue Meanie are in at #17, #18 and #19. The Stevie Kick gets rid of D-Von but Lee takes out Meanie and Nova (his teammates in Raven’s Nest). Another Stevie Kick hits Sandman but Lee tosses Richards as well. Lee tosses Sandman, only to get clotheslined out by Sabu for the win at 19:45.

Rating: C+. It’s ECW so your mileage is absolutely going to vary, but what matters the most is that this felt different. ECW didn’t do this kind of match very often and it made things that much more interesting. Sabu going wire to wire is fine as he’s such a fan favorite and the people were happy throughout. Nice little surprise here and that’s a good thing.

From World Class Championship Wrestling TV, January 7, 1983.

Battle Royal

Wild Bill Irwin, Bugsy McGraw, King Kong Bundy, Terry Gordy, Kerry Von Erich, Andre The Giant

Pinfall, submission or over the top. Von Erich charges at Gordy to start before the bell. Andre comes in and we’re ready to go. Michael Hayes offers a distraction on the floor though and Von Erich is out in a hurry. That’s not ok with Von Erich, who goes back in to go after Gordy again. Von Erich is finally dragged out as Andre chokes Gordy for a change. Bundy hammers and chokes Andre, who doesn’t seem to notice.

A middle rope ax handle finally drops Andre, who falls onto Gordy in a funny spot. McGraw is tossed as Andre chokes Gordy on the mat. Bundy and Irwin go after Andre for the save but he gets up and chokes Gordy again (Does Gordy owe him money or something?). A headbutt knocks Bundy down and of course it’s time to choke Gordy again. Andre headbutts Irwin and chokes Gordy AGAIN like he’s in a slasher movie.

Bundy gets punched through the ropes and Andre gets to massage Gordy’s throat some more. Irwin and Bundy try to help Gordy again and it works for all of two seconds before Gordy accidentally drops Bundy. Some triple teaming slows Andre down as the fans are all behind him. They manage to get Andre down to his knees and the mat, but he gets back to his feet again.

Irwin hammers away but Andre fights up and atomic drops Irwin out. Hayes saves Gordy from elimination so Andre eliminates himself to give chase. So we’re down to Bundy vs. Gordy as Andre realizes how much he just screwed up. Bundy slams Gordy for two but misses s the Avalanche. Gordy dropkicks him in the back for the win at 12:57.

Rating: C+. This was ok enough, but at the same time it was mainly only funny for Andre’s near stalker killer movie villain obsession with Gordy. Andre went after him time after time and it was rather entertaining, with even commentary wondering what was with Andre’s obsession. Von Erich being pretty much nothing here was kind of weird, but Andre made up for him leaving so soon.

From Battlebowl 1993.

Battlebowl

Cactus Jack, Vader, Johnny B. Badd, Brian Knobbs, Shockmaster, Paul Orndorff, King Kong, Dustin Rhodes, Sting, Jerry Sags, Steve Austin, Ric Flair, Rick Rude, Shanghai Pierce, Hawk, Rip Rogers

Rogers is very banged up after getting beaten up earlier in the night. It’s the usual brawl to start and Rogers is out first, which is quite logical. Pierce is out as well as commentary admits there is too much going on to call here. Austin and Flair go outside (not eliminated) to brawl and Badd is sent to the ramp, which is NOT an elimination (as covered by commentary). Not that it matters as Badd is out a few seconds later.

Back in and Orndorff tries to toss Flair, with Hawk making a save to leave Ventura annoyed/confused. Jack loads up a superplex on Vader (of course) but gets broken up, allowing Vader to toss Jack out. Orndorff is out as well and the fans are not pleased with either of those two. Kong and the Shockmaster are both eliminated and the ring is a lot more clear. Vader gorilla presses Sting to the ramp (again, not out) but Sting comes back in to choke Vader in the corner.

Sags and Vader save Knobbs from Sting, who then saves Flair from Vader for some reason. Flair goes outside (not out) to go after Harley Race as Sting goes after the Nasty Boys at the same time. Back up and Vader runs Sting over before Flair beats up Knobbs, which isn’t something you see very often. Rhodes and Austin brawl to the floor, again without going over the top as we’ve gone a long time without an elimination. Rhodes gets posted and busted open and we slow way down, with commentary pointing it out as well.

Back up and Knobbs, Sags, Rhodes, Rude and Hawk all being eliminated in VERY short order. Well that picked up the pace. We’re down to Austin, Vader, Sting and Flair (not bad) as Rhodes is being led out and looks to have had his bell rung. Sting suplexes Austin and Vader misses a charge at Flair in the corner, leaving Flair to beat up Race on the ramp. Vader goes out for the save as Sting clotheslines Austin in the ring.

Sting and Austin join the other two on the ramp as this is not following proper battle royal procedures. The trainer comes out to check on Flair so Vader kicks him too. Flair is stretchered out and is officially eliminated due to injury. Naturally Race tries to turn the stretcher over, because that’s the kind of thing Race would do. Vader gorilla presses Sting back into the ring but Sting pops up and powerslams a diving Vader out of the air.

House is quickly cleaned with a bunch of clotheslines but the numbers game finally catches him in the corner. Austin gets in a rather impressive middle rope elbow (and has to stop himself from covering) before Vader drops Sting again. Vader hits two splashes but Sting avoids the third and makes the comeback on Austin.

Sting gets dropped again though and the Vader Bomb crushes him. Vader has hurt his own back though and Austin misses a top rope splash. Sting backdrops Austin onto the ramp and he falls onto the floor, which apparently counts as an elimination. So believe it or not, it’s Vader vs. Sting, with Vader hitting another splash. Sting avoids a charge though and fireman’s carries Vader onto the top, only to miss the Stinger Splash and eliminate himself so Vader wins at 25:35.

Rating: B-. This took some time but there is something about watching Sting and Vader no matter what they’re doing. Throw in Austin out there and getting to see Flair taking a beating and I couldn’t complain that much. It’s one of those things that works even with the extra time, though the ending was kind of out of nowhere and didn’t make Vader look that strong.

From Smackdown, November 29, 2011.

Battle Royal

Curt Hawkins, Ted DiBiase, Ezekiel Jackson, JTG, Johnny Curtis, Darren Young, Tyler Reks, Justin Gabriel, Tyson Kidd, Jinder Mahal, Hunico, Percy Watson, Yoshi Tatsu, Titus O’Neil, Sheamus, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Hornswoggle, Kofi Kingston, Heath Slater

The winner gets a Christmas wish. Hornswoggle goes under the ring to start, leaving Sheamus (the Great White, in something that actually made air) tosses Young. Jimmy Uso is out as well, followed by JTG. Cole rants about how much guest host Mick Foley loves Christmas as Jackson dumps Hawkins. Sheamus pounds Jackson down and ducks a clothesline to get rid of him.

Curtis (Fandango) is gone and there goes Jey Uso and Kingston back to back. Tatsu and DiBiase are out, with Hornswoggle popping out from underneath the ring to pull Kidd out as well. We take a break and come back with the graphics messing up (which I believe was another Chris Jericho return), plus Gabriel being eliminated. O’Neil plants Reks but gets clotheslined out by Sheamus.

Reks jumps Sheamus from behind and gets pummeled but runs outside for a breather. Everyone goes to the floor for the brawl, with Sheamus being sent into the barricade. The non-Sheamuses get back inside but realize that they have to get rid of Hornswoggle as well. Hornswoggle is thrown back inside and can’t escape, with Slater throwing him down. Sheamus comes back in for the save and quickly eliminates everyone not named Hornswoggle.

Sheamus tells him to get out but Hornswoggle says he wants Sheamus out instead. Hornswoggle kicks him in the shin so Sheamus calls him a lunatic. Sheamus easily picks him up but Hornswoggle hangs onto the top rope. In a not so bright move, Sheamus goes over the top to pull Hornswoggle off the ropes. He tells Hornswoggle (who went through the ropes) to get down, but first Hornswoggle wants a hug. Hornswoggle shoves him off the apron for the clever win at 14:01. Hornswoggle would use the wish to be able to talk, which he could do before but was forgotten for the sake of the match.

Rating: C. Yeah I can’t get that mad at some like this. It was a goofy, lighthearted battle royal for the holiday special. Hornswoggle winning is a good way to go as the fans were behind him, especially when he finds an easy way to eliminate Sheamus and win. It wasn’t particularly good, but the result was charming enough.

Post match Sheamus is mad but raises Hornswoggle’s hand in holiday spirit.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a good example of why you don’t have multiple battle royals very often. Some of what we got here was fine enough, but seeing them over and over got repetitive. That is only going to get you so far and it was only so interesting. I did like that they offered a nice mixture of stuff from promotions, which is one of the places where the Vault tends to shine.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 9, 1996
Location: Wheeling Civic Center, Wheeling, West Virginia
Attendance: 4,903
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re back to the regular Monday schedule and less than two weeks away from Mind Games. Therefore Mankind is already coming after Shawn Michaels and that isn’t going to end well. Other than that, Razor Ramon and Diesel are apparently on their way back to the WWF and I’m not looking forward to this. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We get a quick preview for the show.

Opening sequence.

Intercontinental Title Tournament First Round: Faarooq vs. Savio Vega

Sunny is here with Faarooq, who is still in his blue period here. A headbutt staggers Vega to start and a shoulder runs him down. Lawler won’t shut up about Sunny, at least until Faarooq cuts off a crossbody and throws him down in Sunny’s direction. The spinwheel kick gives Vega two but he walks into a spinebuster for two. A snap suplex gets two more and we take a break.

We come back with Faarooq holding a chinlock, with Sunny getting in some choking from the floor. Vega gets up and grabs a victory roll for two, only to get caught in another chinlock. Faarooq grinds away even more but misses a middle rope headbutt. Back up and Vega hits a running boot to the face, with the fans greatly approving. That’s cut off as well and the chinlock is right back on. Vega fights up again but gets caught with what would become known as the Dominator for the pin at 13:38.

Rating: C. Faarooq was not exactly lighting up the ring at this point and there wasn’t much that could be done about it. His look wasn’t helping him either, as the whole blue gladiator deal never worked. Vega’s better days were behind him too, making this far from the most interesting match.

Post match Sycho Sid, Faarooq’s opponent in the second round, comes out for the pull apart arguing.

Some wrestlers with Ahmed Johnson well. Some of them like the idea of hurting him even more though.

Here are Shawn Michaels and Jose Lothario for a chat. Before Michaels talks about Mankind, he wants to talk about Camp Cornette. Michaels has taken out everyone in Camp Cornette except Cornette himself, but Lothario will deal with him at Mind Games. Lothario rants in Spanish a bit before Michaels moves on to Mankind. While Mankind has been running roughshod over the WWF, it all stops at Mind Games. Undertaker is going to deal with Paul Bearer and while Michaels might not be Mankind’s mommy, he’ll be his daddy. Don’t hunt what you can’t kill. Michaels liked that line.

The Stalker vs. TL Hopper

The Stalker is better known as Barry Windham and this is his first match in the WWF since 1989. We go split screen to talk to Owen Hart and Brian Pillman, who promise that Bret Hart will be back at Mind Games. Back to the match, Stalker hits a clothesline as Ross says that mentioning Razor Ramon and Diesel’s return has led to a snag in negotiations but they’re still coming. Stalker takes him into the corner and hits the superplex for the win at 3:29.

Rating: D+. The fact that this was Stalker’s big debut and they IMMEDIATELY went to the split screen and then commentary talked about everything else told you everything you needed to know about his future prospects. It doesn’t help that he was the Stalker rather than plain old Barry Windham, which would have been an upgrade. Rather lame debut, with neither side helping matters here as the match was nothing to see either.

We recap Mr. Perfect stealing Hunter Hearst Helmsley’s valets.

We recap Mark Henry agreeing to face Jerry Lawler at Summerslam.

Crush vs. Freddy Joe Floyd

Clarence Mason is here with Crush and sits in on commentary. Crush hammers him into the corner to start and then throws him back out of said corner. Make up your mind dude. A gorilla press and elbow get…nothing actually as Crush pulls him up. Floyd pulls the leg and hits a crossbody, only to get dropped onto the top rope. A big boot sets up the Heart Punch to finish Floyd at 2:40. Total squash.

We look at Bob Backlund bringing back the Iron Sheik. By that I mean we just show most of the segment.

Undertaker vs. Salvatore Sincere

Undertaker doesn’t have his usual entrance gear and, by his standards, hustles to the ring to start hammering away. Sincere gets planted in a hurry and Undertaker hammers away in the corner. Back up and Sincere gets in a few shots of his own, followed by some shoulders to the ribs. A clothesline gives Sincere two as the idea is Undertaker is banged up and distracted. Sincere gets two off a Russian legsweep as we get an insert interview from Goldust and Marlena, where they quote the Untouchables.

Sincere’s chinlock doesn’t last long and a side slam gets two. The chinlock goes on again and we actually take a break. We come back with Ross talking about Diesel and Razor Ramon progressing in their negotiations to return. Sincere knocks him down again but Undertaker pops up and hits the jumping clotheslines. The chokeslam and Tombstone finish for Undertaker at 9:57.

Rating: C-. So the idea here was that Undertaker was all ticked off and wrestling differently without Bearer….but it was Salvatore Sincere. There is no logical way under which it should take Undertaker about ten minutes to beat him. Even a half speed and distracted Undertaker should have been able to take him out in short order, but we got this for so long instead.

Overall Rating: C-. This tournament isn’t exactly must see television and some of the other stuff wasn’t much better. It’s just such a dead period for the company as the NWO is still white hot over in WCW and the WWF has absolutely nothing (outside of Mankind vs. Michaels, which sounds great) to counter. It feels like that is going to be the case for a long time to come and hopefully Raw can boost itself up a bit. Otherwise, we’re in for some rough television.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 6, 1996
Location: Wheeling Civic Center, Wheeling, West Virginia
Attendance: 4,903
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Jim Ross

We’re a few weeks removed from Summerslam 1996 and due to the US Open tennis tournament, this show is airing on a Friday. It’s Raw Championship Friday and we are going to be having a series of title (related) matches, including parts of the Intercontinental Title tournament. Shawn Michaels is defending the WWF Title against Goldust as well so let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Shawn Michaels vs. Goldust.

Opening sequence.

Intercontinental Title Tournament First Round: Sycho Sid vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

The title is vacant due to Ahmed Johnson’s latest injury. Sid shoves him outside to start and cuts off an early comeback attempt. A swinging neckbreaker gets Helmsley out of trouble though and a knee drop gets two, with Sid sending him flying on the kickout. Back up and some right hands into a chokeslam set up the powerbomb to finish Helmsley at 3:35.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here, with Sid almost squashing Helmsley. It’s still so weird to see that being the case but Helmsley didn’t mean nearly as much back then. Sid wrecking people is always fun to see though as he knew exactly how to do that kind of a match. The hand under the arm chokeslam always looked nice too.

Cue Mr. Perfect to escort off Helmsley’s escort.

We get a medical update on Ahmed Johnson. Things are bad, but they’ve gotten a bit better. Johnson promises he’ll be back, with his doctor saying he could be back at 100%.

Intercontinental Title Tournament First Round: Steve Austin vs. Marc Mero

Brian Pillman, still on a crutch, is on commentary and Sable is here with Mero. Austin doesn’t have wrist tape on here and it’s a rather weird look. They take turns powering each other into the corner until Mero armdrags him down. A dropkick gets two and sends Austin bailing out to the floor for a breather. Pillman promises that Bret Hart will be at Mind Games later this month while JR keeps promising some big story later tonight. Mero grabs some rollups for two each and we take a break.

We come back with Mero charging into a Stun Gun (hot shot), only for Austin to miss a rather Bret Hart style middle rope elbow. Mero hits a backdrop and a top rope ax handle connects for two. Back up and Austin pulls the referee into Mero’s shoulder to the ribs, which is enough for Mero to get the DQ win at 8:40.

Rating: C+. The ending was a nice enough touch as Austin loses without taking a fall, which is the right way to go. At the same time, Mero gets to look like a potential new star, which is often the point of a tournament like this. They only had so much time here and it wound up working fairly well, so we’ll call it a success.

Post match Austin gives Mero a Stunner and they have to be held apart.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring to talk to Mark Henry. Lawler mocks Jake Roberts’ efforts at Summerslam and brings up Henry cutting off the whiskey that Lawler was about to pour down Roberts’ throat. Henry doesn’t like Lawler, who wants to wrestle Henry, because he doesn’t know how to wrestle. Henry says he isn’t trained enough to wrestle yet, but Lawler calls him a coward. It turns out that this is a bad idea with the World’s Strongest Man, who grabs Lawler by the jacket and accepts the challenge. Henry really shouldn’t have been on television yet.

Mankind vs. Alex Porteau

Paul Bearer is freshly with Mankind after turning on Undertaker at Summerslam. Mankind hammers away as JR drops his big news: Diesel and Razor Ramon are returning to the WWF. Oh geez that’s what I was afraid it was going to be. Apparently Mankind is going to be challenging Shawn Michaels at Mind Games and he hits a running knee in the corner. A swinging neckbreaker connects as Ross talks about an amateur wrestler meeting with WWF officials. Some guy named “Kurt Angle”. Mandible Claw finishes at 2:08.

We go to a Special Olympics event in Toronto where Sycho Sid and some Special Olympians won a tug of war with an elephant. Nothing wrong with that. There was a big event that night as well, with Roddy Piper making a surprise appearance.

Bob Backlund plans to bring back the WWWF (yes WWWF) Championship and he has a trainer for his future champion. He has some “abomination” for this man: the Iron Sheik. The Sheik brags about their careers and commentary cuts him off as he keeps rambling.

WWF Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Goldust

Goldust, with Marlena (countering Jose Lothario for Michaels), is challenging. During his entrance, we get an insert interview from Undertaker, who is ready to end Goldust. Michaels isn’t having any of this jump start and knocks Goldust to the floor as we hear about Michaels in Playgirl Magazine. Michaels goes up top but gets knocked out of the air, only to come back with right hands in the corner.

Goldust hits a clothesline and then drops Michaels throat first across the top rope to take over. It works so well that Goldust does it again over the barricade, allowing Marlena to blow some cigar smoke in Michaels’ face. A suplex gives Goldust two and we take a break. Back with Michaels fighting out of a chinlock but getting pulled right back down into the same thing.

We go split screen as Mankind is promising a surprise for Michaels. The comeback lets Michaels get in a double knockdown and the flying forearm connects. Goldust rolls through a high crossbody and we take another break. We come back with Marlena breaking up Sweet Chin Music but Michaels slips out of the Curtain Call. The moonsault press retains the title at 11:55.

Rating: C+. You pretty much know what you’re going to get from a match between these two and it went perfectly well. Goldust was fine for a thrown out there challenger, which is what all he was supposed to be. Michaels was gearing up for Mankind and needed some more reps and it went well for a one off TV match.

Post match Mankind runs in but Michaels splits between them and escapes in a smart move.

Overall Rating: C+. I’m not sure how much this felt like a show dedicated to championships, but at least they had a nice title main event and checked off a few of the tournament matches. It was also a show that needed to help set the stage for Mind Games and it did that at the end, with Mankind vs. Shawn Michaels being the only thing that is likely to matter at that show. Give us one more match in the next few weeks everything should be ok.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Unforgiven 2008
Date: September 7, 2008
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 8,707
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz, Mick Foley, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We’re finally here, as I took such a long break from the 2008 cycle that this show is something like a year in the making for me. It’s a weirdly structured show, as there are three Championship Scramble matches for the big titles, but the real main event is Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho in an unsanctioned match. That story has been carrying the story this year so let’s get to it.

The opening video takes a quick look at the Scramble matches before moving on to Jericho vs. Michaels, with WWE pretty openly acknowledging that it is the biggest match on the show.

For the sake of simplicity, here are the Scramble rules:

• 20 minute time limit

• Two people start, with another of the five total entrants entering every five minutes

• Anyone scoring a pinfall/submission (it does NOT have to be on the champion) becomes the “current” champion

• Whoever is the “current” champion when time expires leaves as champion

ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. Finlay vs. The Miz vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Mark Henry

Henry is defending and Matt Hardy is in at #1 while The Miz is in at #2. Hardy grinds away on a headlock to start and seems to have a lot to say to Miz, who reverses into a headlock of his own. That’s broken up as well and Hardy hits the corner clothesline but the bulldog is countered. Instead Hardy pulls him out of the corner into a sitout powerbomb for two and another clothesline gets the same. Back up and Miz gets in a shot from behind, setting up the chinlock. Hardy gets out and grabs a sunset flip for two but Miz Reality Checks him out to the floor. That gets a rather delayed two back inside and it’s Guerrero in at #3.

Guerrero wastes no time in knocking Miz down and hitting a frog splash to pin Hardy and become current champion (remember: Miz does NOT have to take the fall for someone to become current champion). Hardy fights back and knocks Miz outside, followed by an elbow for two on Guerrero. Miz is back up as well and hits a high crossbody onto both of them for two on Hardy. Hardy drops Miz though and the Side Effect to Guerrero makes Hardy current champion. The chinlock slows Miz down (not a move you expect to see in a match like this) and it’s Henry in at #4.

The triple teaming does not work very well as Henry tosses all of them away, followed by a gorilla press drop to Hardy. The World’s Strongest Slam to Guerrero makes Henry current champion as the dominance continues. Hardy can’t hit the Twist of Fate and gets knocked to the floor, followed by Henry grabbing a bearhug on Guerrero. That’s switched to a bearhug on Hardy, who is mostly done as Finlay is in at #5 to complete the field.

Finlay wastes no time in kicking away at Henry, followed by a DDT for two. Henry shrugs that off and grabs another bearhug, which draws in Hornswoggle for a distraction. Finlay shillelaghs Henry and gets Hardy to help toss him out. A quick Celtic Cross to Hardy makes Finlay current champion with about 3:45 to go.

Miz missile dropkicks Finlay down but gets caught with the Twist of Fate to make Hardy current champion with 3:19 to go. Hardy turns to look at Henry but has to break up a cover as Guerrero frog splashes Miz (whose eye is busted open). Henry’s World’s Strongest Slam gets two on Guerrero with Hardy making the save.

The same thing happens to Finlay, leaving Henry to break up Miz’s rollup on Hardy. Guerrero gets pulled into a World’s Strongest Slam for two with Hardy making the save at 1:30 to go. Henry kicks Finlay down, making him drop Hardy at the same time. Hardy is back up to save Miz from Henry’s splash with 1:00 to go. Hardy keeps playing defense and no one can get a pin, with Hardy managing to run out the clock and become the champion.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but once the clock came on screen and the desperation started to build, this got very entertaining in a hurry. The idea of anyone being able to take the fall boosts this WAY up, as otherwise it would have been Hardy running away for the last few minutes. It was a really fun way to introduce the concept and I ha d a good time with it.

Matt Hardy runs into Jeff Hardy in the back and says it’s time for the Hardys to both be champions.

We get a poll question of whether Vickie Guerrero should have allowed Big Show into the Smackdown Scramble. Odd question to ask.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Cryme Tyme vs. Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase

Rhodes and DiBiase are defending after having Cryme Tyme steal the belts, though Rhodes and DiBiase stole them back, rendering the whole thing a waste of time. JTG starts with some dropkicks and Shad clotheslines the champs to the floor. A big dive connects as well and JTG takes over back inside.

DiBiase fights up and is promptly powerslammed down by Shad. It’s back to JTG who chases Rhodes outside, allowing DiBiase to get in a clothesline to take over. Back in and Rhodes works on the arm before working on the arm to change things up a bit. DiBiase comes back in for a nice dropkick and his own kick to the arm.

JTG suplexes his way to freedom but Rhodes is in to cut Shad off in time. The armbar goes on again before Rhodes goes up top, only to get pulled down for a crash. That’s enough to make the tag off to Shad to clean house. DiBiase’s suplex gets two, with Shad’s foot getting on the rope. The G9 is loaded up but Rhodes slips out. JTG grabs a small package but DiBiase turns it over so Rhodes can get the pin to retain.

Rating: C. There wasn’t much that could be done here and they couldn’t really find a way around the problem. The titles do not feel overly important and that dragged down anything they could have done. The champs getting their belts back before the match took away the limited interest they had in the first place and it was downhill from there.

Post match the brawl is on again but a Samoan comes in to help Rhodes and DiBiase, setting up the triple pose.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho. They’ve been feuding for months and Jericho had Michaels ready to retire over an eye injury. Jericho wouldn’t stand for that though and they insulted each other, resulting in Jericho accidentally punching Michaels’ wife. Jericho blamed Michaels, who swore vengeance, setting up an unsanctioned match here. This has been the best story in WWE in a long time and this is the real main event of the show.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

Unsanctioned so anything goes and Michaels is in street clothes, with his injured arm heavily bandaged. Michaels starts fast and hammers away, including some shots to the face with a belt. They go outside and over the barricade, with Michaels busting Jericho’s nose open. Jericho gets posted but avoids a chair shot and it’s time for the first table.

A table shot to the back crushes Michaels and he gets dropped face first onto the apron. Back in and Jericho chairs him down and the chair is wedged in the corner (that’s never a good idea). Jericho’s whip is reversed into the post though and Michaels gets a breather. They fight over a suplex from the apron through a table on the floor before Michaels takes him back inside for the running forearm.

The top rope elbow connects and Sweet Chin Music is loaded up, but Jericho collapses. Michaels isn’t waiting and hammers him down into the crossface but Jericho gets out again. Jericho starts going after the bad eye until Michaels gets in a shot of his own. The upside down whip in the corner (into the chair) just seems to re-energize Michaels, who is back with a Thesz press. Jericho gets up and pulls him into the Walls but the ropes mean nothing for Michaels.

Instead he finds a well placed fire extinguisher and sprays his way to freedom. An extinguisher shot to the face rocks Jericho again and they fight on the ramp, where Lance Cade comes out to help Jericho. Some shots to the bad arm, including one around the post, have Michaels in big trouble. Jericho goes to the eye and then back to the arm before the chair is brought back in. Cade holds the arm so Jericho can smash it with the chair, only for Michaels to break up the Pillmanizing.

One heck of a chair to the head knocks Jericho off the top and through the table at ringside for the big crash. Michaels unloads with the chair and puts Cade on the announcers’ table…but stops to kick Jericho some more. Jericho is stacked onto Cade and the top rope elbow drives both of them through the table. Michaels is all fired up and whips Jericho with the belt, including a hard shot to the eye. Michaels ties up Jericho’s arms and just unloads with left hands to the head until his own arm gives out. The referee pulls him off but Michaels is back on Jericho. It’s broken up again and the referee calls the match as Jericho is out.

Rating: A-. The most important part of this match is that they sold the story they were telling. These guys beat the living daylights out of each other and Michaels was for himself and his family. I bought into what they were doing and if they had gotten just a bit more intense (and by that I mean some blood), it would be even better. Either way, absolutely outstanding match here that actually got close to living up to the incredible hype.

Post match Michaels can’t help himself and beats up Jericho even more. The referee drags Michaels off and gets superkicked, leaving Michaels shaking. More referees come out to protect Jericho as Michaels composes himself. The look on Michaels’ face is PERFECT, as he clearly hates Jericho but also hates himself for letting it go that far. That boosts things up even more.

Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase introduce Randy Orton to their new friend Manu, the son of Afa. Manu says Orton can knock all of the other champions on Raw but these two are a different class. Orton says congratulations and says it was dumb luck. Go watch a replay of the match and then tell him what they did that deserves praise. They shouldn’t be proud.

Smackdown World Title: The Brian Kendrick vs. MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Jeff Hardy vs. HHH

HHH is defending, Jeff Hardy is in at #1 and Shelton Benjamin is in at #2. They trade rollups to start until Benjamin takes him down into a headlock. With that broken up, Benjamin grabs a suplex into a chinlock with a knee in the back. Hardy fights up and Kendrick is in at #3.

Benjamin tries to suplex Hardy off the apron but Kendrick breaks it up and covers Hardy for two. With Benjamin down, Hardy avoids a charge in the corner and hits the Twist Of Fate to become current champion. Benjamin is back in to knee Hardy into the corner but misses another splash. Hardy tries a sunset flip (possibly forgetting the rules, which is fine) for two but Paydirt gives Benjamin two more with Kendrick making the save. The Kendrick gives Kendrick the pin on Hardy to make him current champion.

MVP is in at #4 and kicks Hardy to the floor before backdropping Kendrick out with him. Benjamin and MVP slug it out until Kendrick comes back in with some kicks to the face. Benjamin Samoan drops Kendrick and everyone is down as HHH is in at #5 to complete the field, meaning we have less than five minutes to go. HHH fires off the clotheslines to start fast and hits a Pedigree to pin Kendrick and become current champion with 4:11 to go. Benjamin sends HHH outside though and into the steps, leaving Hardy to give MVP the Twist Of Fate to become current champion with 3:05 to go.

Kendrick comes after Hardy and gets gordbustered but HHH crotches Hardy on top. The Pedigree gives HHH the pin on Kendrick with 2:05 to go but Hardy Swantons Kendrick for the pin to become current champion with 1:53 to go. Hardy sends HHH outside and hits a big flip dive and everyone is down with 1:10 to go. With HHH and Hardy outside, the other three hit a Tower Of Doom with MVP being in the best place. Hardy is back in for a Whisper In The Wind to MVP and a Swanton to Benjamin…but HHH comes in to Pedigree and pin MVP and retain the title as time expires.

Rating: C+. The problem here was the lack of drama for the most part, as while the opener had five people you could see walking out with the title, this was ALL about HHH vs. Jeff Hardy and nothing more. The other three were just warm bodies, which is a shame as this is the kind of match where you could do some good teasing of a surprise winner. Kendrick felt that way for all of a minute before it turned into the HHH/Hardy show. After that, nothing else mattered and the ending, while timed very well, didn’t come off as exciting as much as one of the two realistic winners winning.

Shawn Michaels isn’t used to not going to the hospital after a pay per view. His family is going to see the look on his face and know what he did. He’s content, but he’s not satisfied. If he had his way, he would do everything he did to Jericho every night for the rest of his life. Jericho has awoken something inside of him that he isn’t sure if he can control and isn’t sure if he wants to. The worst is yet to come.

Randy Orton interrupts CM Punk and calls him a fluke. Cue Ted DiBiase, Manu and Cody Rhodes to beat Punk down. Kofi Kingston makes a failed save attempt and Orton punts Punk out cold.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Maryse vs. Michelle McCool

McCool is defending and starts fast with a wristdrag out of the corner, though she comes up favoring her knee. Maryse bails to the floor so McCool follows, with Maryse sending her over the barricade. Back in and Maryse takes out the knee and starts cranking away, including tying the leg in the ropes. Maryse stops to flip her hair though, allowing McCool to kick her in the face for two. A big boot and a sitout gordbuster retain McCool’s title.

Rating: C-. I feel bad for these two. The match itself was just ok at best and honestly not that good, though they used a fine story of McCool hurting her leg and Maryse working on it. That’s totally acceptable, even if the match was decent for the most part. The problem continues to be the way the entire division is presented, as you had McCool’s Titantron featuring her getting out of a pool and Tazz calling them “the sexiest women on television.” It’s hard to be taken seriously when you’re being treated as eye candy and they had been putting in the work to get better. That’s not fair on them and it took a long time to overcome.

Here is Raw GM Mike Adamle, who announces that CM Punk may not be able to compete, so he might have to find a suitable replacement. Either way, there will be a five man Championship Scramble.

Here is the Big Show for an unscheduled chat. Show: “HI!” He gets right to the point: if Adamle needs a replacement for the Scramble, look no further than him. Show plugs the Smackdown Your Vote campaign and brings up the poll from earlier about whether or not he should have been in the Scramble, with 77% saying yes. We get a quick audience poll, with the fans seemingly wanting him in the match and that’s it…until Vickie Guerrero interrupts.

She calls him a big dumb giant and doesn’t like being insulted, so now he will deal with the “circumstances”. Show needs to get out of the ring but hold on because we’ve got druids (Show finds this hilarious). They bring a coffin to the ring and Undertaker pops up on screen to talk about the rather specific way he wants to kill Guerrero and send her to H***. Vickie tries to leave but Show holds her in place as Undertaker slowly (of course) comes to the ring. She even gets outside but Show throws her back inside as Undertaker opens the casket and gets inside the ring.

The jacket and hat come off as Show is still holding Vickie in place. Undertaker shakes his head at her and grabs Vickie by the throat….and Show KO Punches him. Show massacres Undertaker and it keeps going for a good while, with Show hitting another two KO Punches. Vickie gets in a slap and spits in Undertaker’s face before the villains leave. This went on WAY too long, though minor points for having Show’s turn feel like a surprise (or as close as it could be given how telegraphed it was when he was still out there).

We recap Randy Orton and CM Punk getting into it on Raw, leading to Orton attacking Punk earlier tonight. Ignore how much the replay reveals that it was a shin to the general vicinity of the head rather than a punt.

William Regal tries to get into the Scramble but Mike Adamle says there is still a chance Punk wrestles.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Batista vs. Kane vs. John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Punk is defending (in theory), Batista is in at #1 and JBL is in at #2. Batista powers him into the corner to start but gets forearmed back. JBL does some horribly blatant spot calling before getting his whip reversed into the corner. A sleeper is broken up with a shinbreaker and Batista grabs a Figure Four so we get the required Ric Flair reference. That’s broken up and they go outside, with Batista sending him into the steps.

Kane is in at #3 and it seems that the clock is speeding up. Batista wastes no time with a clothesline but Kane is right back up with a big boot. The basement dropkick gets two on Batista and the side slam sets up the missed top rope clothesline. JBL is back in but misses the Clothesline From JBL, meaning it’s a chokeslam to make Kane the current champion. Back up and Kane stays on Batista until Rey Mysterio is in at #4.

Mysterio gets to clean house until Kane cuts him off in the corner. Batista breaks that up and we get the splash off Batista’s shoulders onto Kane to give Mysterio two. They try it again but this time Mysterio rolls Batista up for two, which might not have been the brightest move. Mysterio points out that Batista covered Kane after the splash but JBL is back up to drop both of them. JBL’s fall away slam sends Mysterio onto Batista (that was clever) but the clock is up….and Chris Jericho is in at #5.

Jericho can barely move on the way to the ring and there are some NASTY welts on his back. Batista cuts Kane off and gives him a powerslam as we’re down to four minutes left with Jericho coming in and getting speared down. A bad 619 hits Kane’s ribs and Batista adds a big boot for two. Batista breaks up a springboard from Mysterio and drops Kane for two more. Kane is back up with the top rope clothesline for his own near fall.

A spear cuts Kane off with less than a minute to go and a spinebuster makes Batista current champion with 35 seconds left. Batista realizes he has to play defense for a bit and cuts off Mysterio’s springboard with a powerbomb. Jericho sneaks in and steals the pin on Kane for the pin with seven seconds left. Batista, apparently COMPLETELY INCAPABLE OF PINNING THE MAN HE JUST POWERBOMBED INTO OBLIVION, stares at Jericho until time expires.

Rating: C+. I didn’t hate it, but at the end of the day, the second Jericho came out, you knew the ending. There was no way around that and at the end of the day, it was a countdown to Jericho stealing the pin. Other than that, you had what you would expect from these guys as it was just waiting to see if Punk would be in there or not. They didn’t hide where they were going, but dang Jericho getting the title is a nice twist given how everything else has been lately on Raw.

Overall Rating: B. The opener and Jericho vs. Michaels are more than good enough to carry this thing, though that twist at the end makes the main event feel that much better. It was a very tricky show to navigate with so many people tied up in the three Scrambles, but Jericho and Michaels is excellent and lived up to the hype. Very good show here, and if one of the other two Scrambles was better, it would have gone even higher.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: September 2, 2008
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

It’s the last ECW before Unforgiven and I have no idea what they’re going to do with this week. At the end of the day, there is nothing left for them to do before the Championship Scramble and that isn’t overly promising. These shows are only so interesting in the first place and this isn’t giving me much more hope. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Killer Kowalski.

We open with the Dirt Sheet, with John Morrison saying he once beat Stephen Hawkins at Parcheesi 44 times in a row. Miz is ready to win the ECW Title in his hometown at Unforgiven, even if Morrison didn’t qualify. Morrison says he’s been to the top of the mountain and had time to drink a soda (I shouldn’t be chuckling this much at John Morrison), that is bogus.

With that out of the way, here is our first guest, so cue ECW Champion Mark Henry, with Tony Atlas. Morrison says this will be better tonight and they won’t even make fun of Henry’s belt extender. Henry isn’t happy but here is second guest, Chavo Guerrero, with his theme music replaced by a Miz and Morrison performed hummed version (Henry is completely unable to hide his smile).

Chavo isn’t happy, so Morrison tells Kerwin in the truck to come see him after the show. Chavo wants his ECW Title back but Morrison says he lost it like six months ago so he should be over it. We move on to Finlay, who can’t be here tonight because he couldn’t find a babysitter for Hornswoggle. Instead, we have Finlay’s family, which is Morrison and Miz on the Titantron in front of a bar, doing some very bad Irish accents.

Miz starts doing a dance and everyone is just openly smiling and laughing. The real Finlay and Hornswoggle come out, with Hornswoggle kicking Uncle Miz in the leg. Morrison is ready to bring out Jeff Hardy (Miz: “It’s Matt.” Morrison: “Whatever.”), who Finlay remembers beating Morrison to qualify for the Scramble. Hardy mocks everyone, including Bam Neely, but Henry doesn’t want to hear this.

Henry threatens Hardy, who hopes that Atlas gets some rest on Saturday because he has a lot of saves to make at Unforgiven. Morrison and Miz jump Hardy and the brawl is on so here are Tommy Dreamer and Evan Bourne to get in on this. Nothing special brawl, absolutely hilarious stuff from Miz and Morrison.

Post break the fight almost breaks out again in the back but Teddy Long makes the eight man tag. And don’t worry about ruining the Dirt Sheet, because it was ruined when Miz started talking.

Gavin Spears vs. Super Crazy

Spears says this is his second chance to make a first impression and he’s ready to go. Crazy spins out of a wristlock to start and pulls Spears into a quickly escaped leglock. Back up and Spears fires off some knees to the chest before going with a more basic stomp to the back of Crazy’s head. Crazy fights up and gets taken right back down and Spears grabs something like a crossface. That’s broken up as well and Crazy kicks him down, setting up a quick moonsault for the pin.

Rating: C-. It’s pretty easy to see why Spears didn’t take on his first attempt on the main roster. Nothing he did here stood out in any way and it made for a dull match. Crazy was a fine choice to work with him as Crazy can do stuff with just about anyone, but this wasn’t working and it showed badly.

Ricky Ortiz vs. Ryan Braddock

Ortiz, who is still undefeated, manages to get about a dozen people spinning his towel. If you can’t get that over in Pittsburgh, just pack it in already man. Braddock grabs a headlock to start but Ortiz fights out. That doesn’t last long either as Braddock comes back with a middle rope knee to the head for two.

Striker makes a Welcome Back Kotter reference and I dislike that I’m smiling a bit as a result. Ortiz fights out of a chinlock so Braddock knees him in the head. The chinlock goes on again for a bit longer this time but Ortiz gets up again. A sitout powerslam sets up a middle rope shoulder, followed by the Big O to give Ortiz the pin.

Rating: C. Ortiz is the definition of “he’s there” and that’s not going to work long term. There was nothing to the match and nothing makes Ortiz stand out. The deal is that he’s undefeated and in theory he’ll put over a bigger name eventually, but that doesn’t make this any easier to watch. Braddock was nothing more than a warm body for Ortiz to beat up, though Braddock does at least have a decent look.

Raw Rebound, focusing entirely on Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho, with the title situation not even being mentioned.

WWE is at the Republican National Convention.

Unforgiven rundown.

Evan Bourne/Tommy Dreamer/Matt Hardy/Finlay vs. John Morrison/Chavo Guerrero/Mark Henry/Miz

The respective seconds are here too. Hardy and Morrison start things off before Dreamer comes in to take over. Finlay adds a clothesline but gets taken into the corner for the tag off to Guerrero. An atomic drop gets Finlay out of trouble and another clothesline connects. Finlay is back up and ties Chavo in the ring skirt so Hornswoggle can take Neely out as we take a break.

Back with what sounds like Morrison calling Hornswoggle a bet wetter, plus Guerrero giving Bourne a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Bourne is back up to kick Miz down and a standing moonsault gets two. Henry comes in to launch Bourne into the air for a crash and it’s back to Miz for a chinlock.

Bourne gets sent outside for a stomping from Neely, and a running knee from Morrison, which is at least more legal. The chinlock goes on back inside and Bourne is driven back into the corner for daring to fight up. Bourne finally manages a hurricanrana to Guerrero and it’s off to Dreamer to clean house. A bulldog gets two on Guerrero but Henry comes in to start the smashing.

Some knees in the corner set up a crossface chickenwing from Guerrero but Dreamer is out pretty quickly. Hardy comes back in, only for Henry to drop him with a clothesline. The splash misses though and Broune is up with the shooting star press. Dreamer adds a frog splash and Finlay clears out the rest of the team. The Twist Of Fate gives Hardy the pin to quite the crowd reaction.

Rating: B-. This worked rather well and felt like a big time house show main event. Above all else, I’ll take it over the usual matches we see around here. It helps when you have a match to build towards rather than just doing the same stuff over and over again. Hardy continues to feel like the biggest star around here and building around him is far from a bad idea. The rest of the people did fine, but this was about Hardy and Henry, which makes sense.

Overall Rating: B-. The main event was the only match that was worth seeing and they actually did a nice job of setting things up for Sunday’s title match. Throw in the outstandingly funny opening segment and it was more than enough to carry the other lame matches. It wasn’t a great show or anything, but I laughed more than once at the Dirt Sheet and I’ll take that every time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 1, 2008
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last Raw before Unforgiven and the big matches are entirely set. The good thing is that this includes the incredible Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho match, which is pretty much carrying the quality side of things. Other than that you have CM Punk ready to defend in the Championship Scramble which is….well it exists. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Killer Kowalski.

Here is the injured Randy Orton for a chat and the hometown fans are happy to see him. Orton confirms that he is not 100% yet but there is something he has to get off his chest. He believes that a brand is only as strong as its champions. When he was on top, Raw was the best thing going but now it’s a joke. Beth Phoenix runs around like a lovesick puppy after the weakest Intercontinental Champion of all time in Santino Marella. Then you have Priceless, who should be called Worthless, because they don’t even have their belts.

Finally though, we have someone who is disgracing the World Title in CM Punk. Four years ago, Punk was wrestling in no name towns but then he won a briefcase and got the World Title. That makes Orton sick and he would love to challenge Punk to get the title back tonight. Cue Punk, who says he is getting a headache from listening to Orton. Not everyone has their daddy and grandfather getting them into WWE.

Punk doesn’t drink, smoke, or go for joy rides on his motorcycle at 3am and make his injury even worse. He’s going to retain the title on Sunday, and then he wants Orton to come tell him how pathetic he is again. Orton says they’ll continue this at a later time and walks away. Cue JBL to interrupt, saying Punk doesn’t get it. Fairy tales aren’t real and the Cinderella run ends on Sunday.

We get the traditional odds explanation and JBL says anyone could take the title from Punk on Sunday. Cue Kane to interrupt, saying that he’s been to H*** and he didn’t see JBL’s Clothesline. He did see Rey Mysterio though, so he’s not likely for the scramble match. Cue Batista to interrupt but he opts to beat everyone else up rather than speaking. Batista walks out rather quickly, leaving the other three laying. I love Punk and I was thrilled when he won the title but egads he could not look much weaker.

Kofi Kingston vs. Charlie Haas

This week’s Haas impression is….John Cena, so the fans are not happy with the fake out. Haas says “the Haas is here and you can’t see me.” Then how do we know you’re here? Kingston starts fast with a monkey flip but Haas knocks him down. The Five Knuckle Shuffle is blocked though and Kingston grabs a Russian legsweep into the Boom Drop. A rollup doesn’t work for Haas and Trouble In Paradise finishes him in a hurry. The Haas impressions are funny enough but if he’s going to lose in short order every time, their charm isn’t likely to last very long.

Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase talk to Randy Orton, who slaps Rhodes in the face. Orton tells them to grow a set because otherwise, he stands by everything he says.

ECW GM Teddy Long, and his assistant Tiffany, are here with Mike Adamle. Their Scramble participants are in a battle royal tonight, which Adamle says is like a Jerry Lawis Labor Day telethon without the kids. Long tries to get his head around that one as Kane comes in to say that Adamle advertising Rey Mysterio was stupid because his body has been destroyed. Adamle was hoping it would make Mysterio show up, so Kane tells him to keep hoping.

Battle Royal

Matt Hardy, Chavo Guerrero, Miz, Finlay, Mark Henry

Henry’s ECW Title isn’t on the line and yeah it’s a five man battle royal. Everyone else goes after Henry to start and that goes nowhere, as Henry shoves them all away. Some double teaming does get Henry off his feet (not a great idea in a battle royal) but Miz goes after Hardy. Guerrero jumps Miz so Henry dumps both of them and we’re already down to three. Henry misses a charge into the corner though and Hardy strikes away but he and Finlay can’t get the elimination. Finlay is tossed but Hardy is back up with the middle rope elbow to the head. The Twist Of Fate is easily blocked though and Henry tosses him for the win.

Rating: D+. What is there to say here? It’s a five man battle royal and only went on for a few minutes. There isn’t much that can be done with a regular match in that amount of time but having such a small field for a battle royal makes it even harder. Henry winning a match that is built for someone like him doesn’t help either, making this quite the weak offering.

Jamie Noble vs. William Regal

Layla is at ringside so Noble can impress her. Regal goes right at him and grabs a full nelson, which is reversed into a rollup for two. A left hand drops Noble and the half and half suplex does it again. Noble is right back up with a small package for the pin out of nowhere and Layla does seem somewhat impressed.

Jillian Hall sings a bit before a six woman tag.

Jillian Hall/Beth Phoenix/Katie Lea Burchill vs. Mickie James/Kelly Kelly/Candice Michelle

Phoenix tells Randy Orton to watch and this is Michelle’s big return after a very long injury absence. Burchill and Kelly start things off with Burchill taking her down for two so it’s off to James for a top rope Thesz press. Burchill takes James into the corner though and Hall comes in, only to get forearmed in the face to cut that off fast.

Phoenix grabs a suplex to drop James again though and it’s back to Hall. A neckbreaker gets James out of trouble and Michelle gets to come in and clean house. Michelle tries a high crossbody but Phoenix rolls through and….I have absolutely no idea what the next sequence was supposed to be. They are on different plants for a bit but after about twenty seconds of not being able to do anything right, Michelle small packages her for the pin.

Rating: D+. They got so messed up in the end there, and while it felt like they just messed up to start and then both tried to fix it in a different way, they did at least get the right result. That being said, they didn’t have time to do much here (again) and Michelle coming back to beat the champ after the better part of a year away pretty much just proves Orton right about Phoenix.

We get a long recap of Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho, which is now a personal rivalry over Jericho accidentally (in theory) hitting Michaels’ wife in the face. Michaels was ready to retire, but now it’s time for personal revenge with Michaels angrier than he has been in a long time. This has been the best thing on Raw since it started and now we are ready for one more huge fight between them, which should be outstanding.

Santino Marella vs. D’Lo Brown

Non-title. Hold on though as Marella wants to show that Randy Orton was wrong. Marella orders the HONK-A-METER, which shows that Honky Tonk Man was Intercontinental Champion for 64 weeks. On the other hand, Marella has been the Intercontinental Champion for 2 weeks, putting him 62 weeks back.

That is nothing for Marella, and then he will be the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time. I can’t stand Santino but this is still one of those gags that will always make me chuckle. It’s so stupid that it’s funny and that can work so well. Marella drives him into the corner to start but Brown is back up with a running clothesline for two. A Shining Wizard drops Marella but he avoids the Low Down and gets the fast pin.

This week’s classic moment: the first Raw in MSG. Yeah that fits.

Cryme Tyme vs. John Morrison/The Miz

Hold on as Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes run in to jump Cryme Tyme and beat them down. The champs get their belts back and there’s no match.

Post break Rhodes and DiBiase run into Orton, who doesn’t say anything but seems pleased.

WWE is at the Republican National Convention in Minneapolis.

Batista’s game plan for tonight: destroy everyone.

Unforgiven rundown.

Battle Royal

Batista, CM Punk, JBL, Kane

Non-title and it’s somehow even lamer than earlier with a four man battle royal because there’s no Rey Mysterio. There is however Randy Orton, who is watching at ringside. Batista hammers on Kane to start and JBL knocks Punk down in the corner. Some running corner clotheslines have Batista in control but he can’t throw Punk out. Kane boots Batista in the face though and Punk hits a clothesline to get rid of him.

JBL boots the other two out but Punk backdrops him out, leaving us with Punk vs. Kane. Some shots to the face aren’t enough to get rid of Punk so Kane gives him a side slam. Kane knocks him to the apron so Punk tries a springboard, for Kane to grab him by the throat and toss him out for the win.

Rating: D. This felt like something they would do on a Memphis territory house show in front of 200 people when some wrestlers didn’t show up. The match runs about four minutes and nothing really happens, with Orton just sitting there being the, for lack of a better word, highlight. This was rough, but what were the wrestlers supposed to do under these circumstances?

Post match Punk and Orton have a staredown, with Punk hitting him in the face. Cue Rey Mysterio, leaving Kane stunned. Mysterio actually beats Kane down and gives him a 619 around the post.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring for the Chris Jericho/Shawn Michaels contract signing. Jericho comes out and Lawler says that WWE is waived of all liabilities before bringing Michaels out as well. Both of them sign and Lawler tries to wrap it up but Jericho cuts him off. Jericho asks why Michaels has this much security, because Jericho isn’t stupid enough to get violent here. Michaels says it’s not his security because he wants it to be the two of them alone. Jericho sends security and Lawler away, which is following Michaels’ advice, which Michaels would never do for him.

This week, Jericho did sit his family down and tell them that he will never be Shawn Michaels. He will never be a lying, cheating, manipulative monster. They will not be watching Unforgiven because he doesn’t want them to see what he’ll be doing. Jericho isn’t going to go soft on Michaels because of Michaels’ precious wife. The only person Michaels has to blame for this is himself.

Michaels is glad that Jericho’s family won’t be watching and neither will Michaels’. He wants to tell them about the time when he almost walked away but came back so he could look evil in the face and spit in its eye. Unforgiven is an appropriate name for the event because he will never forgive Jericho for what he did. All he hopes is that someday God can forgive him for what he’ll do to Jericho.

That makes Jericho stand up so Michaels takes off his jacket but Lance Cade runs in. Michaels takes him out and glares at Jericho to end the show. These two are selling the living heck out of this match and I want to see them tear into each other. You can feel the intensity here and there is nothing else like it in WWE at the moment.

Overall Rating: C-. I hope Jericho and Michaels got a very nice selection of fruit baskets from the roster because they are carrying this show on their backs. The problem here is so much of the rest of the show is built around the Scramble and there is pretty much nothing left to say about it. That makes for a very tedious show and that was on display here. The Michaels/Jericho segments are great, but that’s about it for the show. Well other than the Honk-A-Meter, but that goes without saying.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Giant Tag Teams
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura, Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper, Randy Savage, Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Johnny V

It’s another compilation video from the WWE Vault and again, the name kind of speaks for itself. I have no idea what to expect from this one and that should make for something interesting. It’s a concept that doesn’t require a lot of thinking, but it could go well or poorly for any combination. Let’s get to it.

From Sunday Night Heat, February 11, 2001.

Brothers Of Destruction vs. Kai En Tai

Kane wrecks both of them to start and suplexes Taka. A one armed chokeslam gets two, with Funaki making a rather cruel save. Undertaker chokeslams some sense into Funaki and stereo Last Rides (well just a regular powerbomb in Kane’s case) finish at 1:40.

From WCW Saturday Night, June 19, 1993.

Masters Of The Powerbomb vs. Kip Abee/Terry Travis

That would be Vader and Sid Vicious. Vader chokeslams Abee to start and it’s off to Sid to kick Travis in the corner. A clothesline takes Travis’ head off and Sid’s powerbomb finishes at 1:16.

From Superstars, October 19, 1991.

Natural Disasters vs. Barry Hardy/Duane Gill/Jim Arnon

Earthquake takes Hardy into the corner to start. Piper: “HARDY! GO FOR HIS EYES!” McMahon: “Family entertainment here.” Piper, in a much quieter voice: “Grab his wrist and try to make him give up.” Savage: “GRAB HIS EYES!” Gill gets taken into the corner and everything breaks down with the triple splash crushing the jobbers. The powerslam into the Earthquake into the Typhoon splash finishes Arnon at 2:51.

From Armageddon 2006.

Batista/Rey Mysterio vs. Big Show/Kane

This is what I love about these collections: you have a bunch of squash matches and then a pay per view semi main event out of nowhere. It’s such a random collection. Show shoves Batista down to start and then does it again for a bonus. Some right hands and running clotheslines do a bit better for Batista and he gets a boot up to stop a charging Show. A running shoulder puts Show down but he shoves Batista away without much trouble. The chokeslam is broken up so Show settles for a big boot instead. It’s off to Kane who actually gets suplexed for a fast two.

Back up and Kane hits the side slam on Batista but Batista slams him off the top to cut off the big clothesline. Mysterio comes in to pick up the pace but his kick to the face just annoys Kane. The right hands in the corner don’t do much either so Mysterio tries a middle rope ax handle. A springboard missile dropkick looks to set up a 619 but Show offers a distraction. Batista cuts him off but Show is right there again to cut off another 619 attempt.

The ram into the post has Mysterio down again and Show casually throws him back inside. Show kicks Batista’s offer of a tag away and then drops Mysterio with a loud chop. Kane pulls Mysterio out of the air but gets put down with the sitout bulldog. Batista has to break up the double chokeslam and everything breaks down. The spear cuts Kane down and Mysterio adds the basement dropkick. Batista hits the spinebuster before tackling Show over the announcers’ table. Back in and the 619 hits Kane, who pulls the West Coast Pop out of the air. The chokeslam finishes Mysterio at 8:06.

Rating: C+. That’s the logical way for this to end, as there wasn’t much that Mysterio could do against that kind of power. Batista was holding his own in there for as long as he could but ultimately Show and Kane were dominant monsters for a reason. It wasn’t much more than a Smackdown main event but it did its job fairly well.

From (I believe) Wrestling Challenge, January 22, 1989.

Twin Towers vs. ???/???

Boss Man powers one of them into the corner and chokes on the ropes as we get an insert promo from Slick, praising the Towers. Akeem comes in and beats up the other jobber before Boss Man hits a hard clothesline. A double back elbow hits one of them as Monsoon suddenly praises Slick, saying he’ll have champions soon enough. The Boss Man Slam sets up Air Africa for the pin at 2:02.

From Smackdown, April 27, 2000.

Hollys vs. T&A

Test full nelson slams Hardcore to start but Hardcore is back up to stomp away in the corner. Crash comes in and avoids a charge in the corner as commentary talks about the possibility of Steve Austin being here tonight. A sitout powerbomb gives Test two as the Dudley Boyz are watching in the back. Albert’s splash misses and Hardcore comes back in for the dropkick. Crash tags himself back in though (drawing the ELROY chants) and misses his own splash. Test boots Hardcore down and the gorilla press from Albert sets up the top rope elbow to finish Crash at 3:17.

Rating: C. Not much to see here but then again, T&A were little more than a vehicle for Trish Stratus (that worked well enough). It’s easy to forget how many teams were around in this era as Edge and Christian and the Hardys and the Dudleys get so much attention. Both of these teams were totally decent most of the time and this could have been better with some extra time.

From Armageddon 2007.

CM Punk/Kane vs. Big Daddy V/Mark Henry

This was during the ECW Champion CM Punk Fights A Bunch Of Monsters period. Henry shoves Punk down to start and, after shrugging off some kicks to the leg, does it again. Kane comes in to uppercut away at Henry, followed by a running dropkick to the knee. It’s back to Punk for a dropkick but Henry runs him over with ease.

V comes in so Punk strikes away, which goes as well as you would expect. Matt Striker gets in a cheap shot to Punk on the floor before it’s back to Henry for a gorilla press. Back up and Punk avoids a charge in the corner, allowing Kane to come in for the running corner clotheslines. Kane has to fight out of the wrong corner but walks into V’s sitout chokebomb for two.

The splash to the back sets up what would become the Visagra before it’s back to Henry for the bearhug. Henry powers him back into the corner but Kane manages a running DDT for a needed breather. Punk comes back in to strike away at V, with the running knee in the corner rocking him hard. Kane and Henry fight up the aisle, leaving Punk to springboard into a Samoan drop to give V the pin at 10:37.

Rating: C-. Yeah this didn’t quite work, though there is only so much you can get out of this idea. At the end of the day, V is fairly limited in what he can do and Henry is only so much better. They played up the idea of Punk trying to fight the monsters but being in over his head physically, which is what caught him in the end. Kane was doing his thing, but there were limits to what you could do here.

From Championship Wrestling, August 9, 1986.

King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd vs. Frankie Lane/Brickhouse Brown

Brown goes after Studd to start and gets cut off with as much effort as you would expect. A bearhug goes on as we get an insert promo from Bobby Heenan, mocking Captain Lou Albano for writing a book. Bundy comes in and drives Brown into the corner for the tag to Lane. Everything breaks down and Lane is bounced off the giants. The Avalanche finishes (for a five count) at 3:15.

Rating: C. There is something fun about a team like Bundy and Studd, who are the definition of “what you see is what you get”. They’re big guys, they beat people up, and they don’t move a lot. Neither guy is trying to do anything more than the basics and yet it works rather well.

From Raw, September 30, 2002.

3 Minute Warning vs. Goldust/Booker T.

Rico is here with 3 Minute Warning. It’s a brawl to start and Booker elbows Rosey down for an early two. Jamal comes in to take over on Goldust, who can’t fight out of the wrong corner. Some clubberin keeps Goldust in trouble and Booker gets knocked off the apron. Goldust finally gets over for the tag off to Booker so house can be cleaned.

Everyone else is down so Booker busts out the Spinarooni, setting up the ax kick to Jamal. Rosey is late with the save so the referee has to pull up on the count in a pretty bad look. Rico superkicks Goldust and Booker gets planted, setting up Jamal’s top rope splash for the pin on Booker (why yes, this is in Booker’s hometown of Houston) at 6:34.

Rating: C. Nice enough in-ring debut here for 3 Minute Warning, who had been attacking a variety of people and now get a win over a popular team. The fact that it was over Booker in his hometown shouldn’t be surprising whatsoever, as that is just kind of what the company does. Either way, it could have been far worse and we got a fine debut.

From Summerslam 1998.

Oddities vs. Kai En Tai

This is the four man version of Kai En Tai, with Yamaguchi-San in their corner. Unfortunately the Oddities’ entrance, featuring a live performance by the Insane Clown Posse, is cut out, meaning no Kurrgan dancing. Golga (Earthquake under a mask) cleans house to start and steals Yamaguchi’s shoe.

Kurrgan comes in and shoves all four of them away to break up a quadruple team. Yamaguchi gets sent inside while Kurrgan dances on the floor. The Giant Silva (7’2) comes in and scares Kai En Tai off as this is not the most serious match. All four of them go after Silva and get nowhere so he stacks all four of them into the same corner for a big hip attack. Kai En Tai is knocked outside, leaving Silva to just walk around for a bit.

Golga comes in for the powerslam that could only come from Earthquake. A double dropkick staggers Golga and they manage a double slam, followed by a series of top rope splashes. The rapid fire elbows keep Golga down but he’s back up with a quadruple clothesline (you don’t see that one very often). Kurrgan comes in to clean house and everything breaks down, with Luna Vachon slamming Yamaguchi. A double double chokeslam sets up a quadruple splash to pin Kai En Tai at 10:11.

Rating: C-. I have an unnatural fondness for the Oddities, with Kurrgan’s dancing being my ultimate guilty pleasure in wrestling. That being said, having this go on for ten minutes was insane, as there was no need for it to go even half that long. It’s a situation where getting in and getting out would have been a better way to go and the length dragged almost all of the fun out of the thing.

Overall Rating: C+. Again, this was fun. The biggest thing I get out of these collections is that some long time fans are running this channel. Rather than having a bunch of matches from the last ten years and a token 90s match, they went all over the place and had some fun with the material available. I had fun with this and that’s all you can ask for with something like this, as it isn’t exactly a concept that can go incredibly in depth.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: August 26, 2008
Location: Wachovia Center, Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We’re coming up on Unforgiven and that doesn’t mean much around here, as the ECW Title is just kind of floating around. That leaves champion Mark Henry without much to do and hopefully that is addressed this week. The show could use a nice boost, but that has been the case for a good while now. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Tiffany to introduce Teddy Long for a chat. Long gets right to the point: ECW is going to have its own Championship Scramble at Unforgiven. He won’t explain the rules because they’re on WWE.com, but tonight it’s time for a bunch of qualifying matches.

Championship Scramble Qualifying Match: Matt Hardy vs. John Morrison

Their pants are far more similar than they should be. Hardy headlocks him down to start but Morrison fights out, only to be sent crashing out to the floor. Back in and Hardy is sent face first into the buckle, setting up the chinlock. A neckbreaker gives Morrison two but Starship Pain completely misses. Hardy pulls him out of the corner for a sitout powerbomb and the Side Effect gets two more. Back up and Morrison sends him crashing out to the floor so we can take a break.

We come back with Hardy fighting out of a chinlock so Morrison Russian legsweeps him for two. The Moonlight Drive is blocked so Morrison goes simple by just hammering on Hardy’s face. Morrison’s running knee gets two and the chinlock goes on again. Hardy fights up and hits the middle rope elbow to the back of the head for a quick two. Morrison’s backslide with feet on the ropes gets the same and they trade rollups for two each. The Flying Chuck drops Hardy for another near fall before a double clothesline takes them both down. Back up and the Moonlight Drive is countered into the Twist Of Fate to give Hardy the win.

Rating: B. This took its time to get going and wound up being a heck of a match with both of them working rather hard. The good thing is that while Hardy is a star and the likely winner, Morrison is just good enough to be a realistic threat. I had a good time with this one and it was one of the best matches ECW has had in a very long time.

Long and Tiffany are excited about Matt Hardy qualifying (Tiffany especially so) when Mark Henry and Tony Atlas come in to complain about the Championship Scramble. Long really doesn’t want to hear it.

Raw Rebound.

Championship Scramble Qualifying Match: The Miz vs. Evan Bourne

Bourne gets an early two off a rollup and grabs a hammerlock. Miz’s rollup gets two and Bourne armdrags him right back down into an armbar. Back up and Bourne hits a nice dropkick, only to be thrown out of the corner for a crash out to the floor. Miz stomps away back inside and grabs a seated abdominal stretch.

A release gordbuster gives Miz two and he grabs the bodyscissors. Bourne breaks out without much effort and kicks him in the head (simple, but effective) for two. The standing moonsault gets two more and Bourne takes him up top, where Miz avoids a super hurricanrana to crotch Bourne on top. The Reality Check gives Miz the fast pin.

Rating: C+. It wasn’t exactly a great match but Miz’s rise is a nice thing to see. He absolutely has the talent to do something, but he started so low on the totem pole that it’s taking time for him to find his footing. He was perfectly competent looking here though and that’s a great sign for his future.

Championship Scramble Qualifying Match: Chavo Guerrero vs. Tommy Dreamer

Bam Neely is here with Chavo. Dreamer grabs an early armdrag into a quickly broken armbar. Chavo takes over and stomps away, setting up an abdominal stretch. With that not lasting long, Dreamer knocks him out of the air and a backdrop puts Chavo down again. A running powerslam gives Dreamer two but Neely offers a distraction. Chavo sends them together and snaps Dreamer’s throat across the top. The frog splash gives Chavo the win.

Rating: C. They kept this short and that’s the right idea. While I could see Dreamer getting into the title match, it’s better to keep him away from higher profile matches. Chavo is another example of someone who can be slotted into the title match and work well at making anyone else look better. He might be a bit uninteresting, but that’s a valuable role to fill.

Josh Matthews, Candice Michelle and Batista are at the Democratic National Convention in Denver, telling people to vote.

Championship Scramble Qualifying Match: Finlay vs. Mike Knox

Hornswoggle is here with Finlay and these two have been brawling lately. An aggressive lockup goes nowhere to start so Finlay goes with a headlock, earning himself a shoulder back down. Knox powers him up against the ropes and they go to the floor, where Knox clotheslines the post by mistake. We take a break and come back with Finlay working on the arm with a hammerlock. Back up and the arm gets wrapped around the rope, with Knox bailing out to the floor.

A powerslam gets Knox out of trouble and he takes Finlay back inside for the running crotch attack. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Finlay’s back for a good while before Knox drives him into the corner. Knox makes the mistake of going after Hornswoggle though, earning a clothesline to the floor. Back in and Knox boots him down for two and it’s time to go after the shillelagh. The referee takes it away so Hornswoggle throws in another one, which knocks Knox cold for the pin.

Rating: C+. I can appreciate the idea of tying the established feud into the Championship Scramble stuff, as it’s nice to cover two birds with one match. It’s also nice to see Finlay dispatch Knox, who hasn’t exactly done much to make him stand out. Finlay is another guy who makes for an interesting addition to the title match and should be a good final addition to the field.

Finlay and Hornswoggle dance with some kids to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Definitely a better show than usual here, which is mainly due to everything feeling like it had a point. It’s really dull to see a bunch of filler on a show that only runs for an hour a week so this was at least a lot more focused. The opener is rather good too and that was enough to boost up the rest of the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania Dark Matches
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Tazz, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Joey Styles, Josh Matthews

So this is pretty much as simple as you can get, with the WWE Vault releasing a collection of matches from before the full Wrestlemania cards begin. These matches are tasked with getting the show going and that can make for some interesting options. Some of these are going to be a lot better than others but they can be a lot of fun. Let’s get to it.

From Wrestlemania XVIII.

Mr. Perfect/Lance Storm/Test vs. Rikishi/Albert/Scotty 2 Hotty

Albert and Storm start things off and Jacqueline is the referee. A sitout press slam gives Albert two and it’s off to Scotty, who gets taken down with a leg lariat. Test comes in for a hard corner clothesline but Storm misses a middle rope elbow. Rikishi comes in for a Samoan drop on Perfect (who bounces off like a backdrop for a weird look) and Scotty Worms Storm to send him outside. The Albert Bomb (chokebomb) hits Test and it’s a Stinkface to Perfect, who is smart enough to pull up his towel just in time. Said towel gets stuck on Rikishi, who hits the Banzai Drop for the pin at 3:07.

Rating: C. Fast paced match but they didn’t have time to do much. You’re only going to get so much out of six people in just over three minutes but they managed to make it work well enough. If nothing else, points for not having one of the Canadians take the fall, which would have been such a WWF thing to do in Toronto.

Post match the winners and Jacqueline dance.

From Wrestlemania XXIII.

Ric Flair/Carlito vs. Gregory Helms/Chavo Guerrero

This is a lumberjack match and Guerrero is the “Cruiserweight of the World” because Lilian Garcia makes a lot of mistakes. To make things even weirder, there is a big curtain over the entrance as the set hasn’t been revealed yet. Helms backs Flair into the corner to start but gets hiptossed for his efforts. Carlito comes in and gets poked in the eye, allowing Chavo to come in and get dropped in a hurry. A dropkick sends Chavo outside so Snitsky throws him back inside without much trouble. Back in and Helms takes over with a chinlock on Carlito and it’s back to Chavo as Cole puts over the awesomeness of Detroit.

The slow beating continues as there is very little heat to the whole thing as it’s already running long. Carlito gets in a shot of his own and brings in Flair to chop away. Helms breaks up the Figure Four so Carlito comes in as everything breaks down. Chavo misses the frog splash though and it’s back to Carlito to clean house. Helms gets backdropped onto the lumberjacks and Carlito hits a quick Backstabber to pin Chavo (because OF COURSE the champion had to take the fall) at 6:38.

Rating: C-. The point here was to get Flair in the ring and to have a bunch of people get on the DVD as a lumerback. That doesn’t make for the most thrilling match though as they went a lot longer than they should have. It wasn’t an interesting match in the first place and then it went long, which is never a good combination.

From Wrestlemania XXII.

Battle Royal

Eugene, Viscera, Snitsky, Goldust, Lance Cade, Rob Conway, Tyson Tomko, Trevor Murdoch, Matt Striker, Super Crazy, Funaki, Steven Richards, Simon Dean, Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, Psicosis, Animal, William Regal

Officially this is Raw vs. Smackdown, but it’s also every man for themselves so the logic is kind of contradictory. Cole: “I guess we have to be impartial here.” Tazz: “Why?” Simon Dean tries to tell us to get in shape and is promptly eliminated first. Brawling on the ropes ensues and Conway is out, followed by Funaki. Cade (Cole: “Who’s that?”) is out and Richards takes too much time posing, meaning he’s eliminated as well.

There goes Striker (thankfully) and Regal gets hit with Shattered Dreams. Murdoch dumps Eugene as the ring is thankfully clearing out a bit. Psicosis gets rid of Goldust in an upset and Eugene stops for a reunion with Regal. Snitsky isn’t having the risk of that being his fault so he tosses Regal without much effort. MNM hits a Snapshot on Eugene to get rid of him as well and we settle down to the final four from each show getting into a staredown. Psicosis gets rid of Murdoch and then gets knocked out by Tomko to get us down to six.

Tomko and Snitsky beat up Animal and Viscera crushes MNM in various corners. MNM fight back (the Melina screams might be powering them on) and avoid a Viscera charge, only to make the mistake of trying a Snapshot. The double Visagra (if you don’t know, don’t ask) has Melina cringing before MNM is out. Snitsky accidentally knocks Tomko out and it’s Animal left with Viscera and Snitsky, as I’ll let you guess who the Chicago fans are behind. For some reason Animal is eliminated and Snitsky misses a charge so Viscera wins at 9:03 without touching him.

Rating: D+. Why would you put Animal this close to getting the win in a meaningless battle royal on the pre-show and then have him lose for the sake of Snitsky and Viscera? This was the second time I’ve seen this match in about a month and it still doesn’t make a ton of sense. Maybe Viscera couldn’t take a bump over the top, but egads this seemed like it could have been a fun moment and it wound up just being forgettable.

From Wrestlemania XXV.

Tag Team Titles: John Morrison/The Miz vs. Colons

This is a lumberjack match to unify both sets of Tag Team Titles, with commentary saying this kind of match has NEVER happened before, about ten minutes after we saw it in the same collection. Primo and Morrison start things off with Primo getting in a headstand in the corner, setting up a hurricanrana to send Morrison outside. The beating lets Primo get two and it’s Carlito coming in for a double slingshot drop. Carlito misses a shot of his own though and it’s off to Miz for his Wrestlemania in-ring debut.

This goes as badly as you would expect, with Carlito knocking him down and hitting a double springboard flip dive. Morrison grabs Carlito by the hair though and throws him outside, nearly triggering a brawl with the lumberjacks. Back in and Carlito gets caught in a double hot shot for two and Miz grabs a chinlock. Carlito fights up for a double knockdown and does it again with Morrison, which is enough to bring Primo back in to clean house.

Some flips set up a dropkick (as Miz might not have been in position in time) but Morrison is right back in with the Flying Chuck for two. Everything breaks down and Carlito spears Miz through the ropes, leaving Morrison to roll through Primo’s high crossbody for two more. Morrison tries a reverse suplex but Primo flips over into a Backstabber in a sweet counter for the pin and the titles at 8:22.

Rating: B-. This was a more traditional match as the lumberjacks were barely a factor. The Colons winning was a nice way to go as it’s a bit of a surprise and a fun surprise to start the night. If nothing else, the finish was more than good enough to make for a big ending. Good stuff here, and one of the better pre-show matches to date.

From Wrestlemania XXIV.

Battle Royal

Elijah Burke, The Miz, Chuck Palumbo, Snitsky, Deuce, Tommy Dreamer, Shannon Moore, Jamie Noble, Kofi Kingston, Festus, Cody Rhodes, Lance Cade, Hardcore Holly, Jesse, Stevie Richards, Trevor Murdoch, The Brian Kendrick, The Great Khali, Jimmy Wang Yang, Domino, Mark Henry, Val Venis, Kane, Jim Duggan

For an ECW Title shot on the main card. It’s a brawl to start and Deuce and Domino are both out in a hurry. Khali chops away at some people as Tazz recommends hiding in the corner. There goes Duggan and Burke knocks out Richards, only to get tossed by Kane. It’s time for the required Kane vs. Khali fight before Miz is eliminated. Henry dumps out Yang and Moore and Jesse follows them both. There goes Murdoch and Festus is out, followed by Kendrick in a big crash.

Henry easily throws Kingston out and Palumbo tosses Noble…who lands on Kingston and climbs back inside (so THAT’S where Kingston learned it). Then he’s tossed out again. A bunch of people get together to toss Khali and Snitsky gets rid of Holly. We’re down to Kane, Snitsky and Henry, with the fans getting WAY into this. Snitsky spends too much time glaring and gets knocked out by Henry, leaving us with two. Henry’s gorilla press is broken up and Kane kicks him out for the win and the title shot (he would win the title in about ten seconds) at 6:22.

Rating: C. The important thing here is they kept it moving rather than waiting around for a long time. These things are only going to have a small handful of realistic winners so clearing them out that fast is a good way to go. ECW needed some bigger stars and Kane certainly fits the bill so this was a nice cross between smart and efficient.

From Wrestlemania XXIX.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Wade Barrett

Miz is challenging and kicks away in the corner, only to get hit in the face to cut that off. Barrett hammers away, shouts about Miz’s lack of awesomeness, but can’t hit the Wasteland. Miz can’t get the Skull Crushing Finale either though and Barrett is back with a swinging Boss Man Slam for two. The Bull Hammer misses though and Miz gets the Figure Four, giving us a reminder that Ric Flair gave the hold to the Miz. In case you hadn’t praised Flair enough recently you see. Barrett makes the rope and hits the Wasteland for two, only to get caught in the Figure Four for the tap and the title at 4:08.

Rating: C. Nothing much to see here, but at least we got a nice tribute to Ric Flair, who has absolutely nothing to do with this match. The match was just there for the sake of a moment to fire the fans up to start, as Miz would lose the title back to Barrett the next night. I like the idea of a Miz face run, but it wasn’t exactly working here, with the Figure Four not helping things.

From Wrestlemania XXVI.

Battle Royal

Mark Henry, Shad Gaspard, JTG, Goldust, Yoshi Tatsu, Santino Marella, Primo, Kung Fu Naki, Slam Master J., Jimmy Wang Yang, Chris Masters, Vladimir Kozlov, Great Khali, Finlay, William Regal, Luke Gallows, Carlito, Tyler Reks, Zack Ryder, Lance Archer, Mike Knox, Caylen Croft, Trent Beretta, Tyson Kidd, David Hart-Smith, Chavo Guerrero

The NXT rookies come out to watch from the stage and more than a few of them would go on to be bigger than a lot of the people int his match. Primo and J are both out in a hurry as there are too many people in there to be able to focus. Henry tosses Beretta and Croft, followed by Chavo. Khali chops Henry out and then a bunch of people get together to toss him out. Cryme Tyme gets rid of Gallows and then Shad tosses JTG in a funny moment. We slow way down until Masters, Kidd, Smith and Kozlov are thrown out in a row.

Funaki, Goldust, Regal, Gaspard and Regal all go out in a hurry and Santino Hulks Up, meaning it’s a sting of Cobras. Finlay cuts that off and tosses him out, followed by Yang and Archer going out as well. Hornswoggle comes in and helps Finlay hit various people with the shillelagh before Carlito is tossed. We’re down to Finlay, Knox, Ryder and Tatsu, with Ryder eliminating Knox and Finlay at once. Tatsu clotheslines Ryder to the apron and then kicks him out for the win at 8:31.

Rating: C. Nothing to the match, as you probably expected, but Tatsu is the kind of fun guy that you want winning something like this. If you don’t have someone local to win the match, let someone young and energetic like Tatsu take it instead. It didn’t exactly lead anywhere for him, but it also didn’t hurt anyone so go with something entertaining.

Sidenote: Tatsu’s music was so freaking catchy!

From Wrestlemania XIX.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Chief Morley/Lance Storm vs. Kane/Rob Van Dam

Morley/Storm are defending and have the Dudley Boyz in their corner, albeit the Dudleys are not here voluntarily. It’s a brawl to start with Kane and Van Dam clearing the ring without much trouble. Van Dam hits a big running flip dive to take the champs out and we take a break.

Back with Morley grabbing a chinlock on Van Dam before missing a middle rope elbow. Kane comes in to clean house, including the side slam and top rope clothesline to Storm. Van Dam kicks Morley down and the chokeslam plants Storm. The Five Star is broken up but the Dudleys give Storm a 3D…and deck Van Dam to give Storm the pin at 5:41.

Rating: C+. This could have been on any given episode of Raw and, believe it or not, Kane and Van Dam won the titles the next night in a three way match. Kane and Van Dam worked well together and it makes sense to see them getting in a spot like this. Nice match, albeit with an ending that could have been a lot happier given what was happening the next day.

Overall Rating: C. This is a weird thing to see as the matches aren’t supposed to be show stealers or anything close. They’re designed to be there for the sake of getting the crowd warm without spending a lot of time or burning through a big match. The battle royals were fun enough and that’s all this was supposed to be. It’s nothing mind blowing and nothing that hasn’t been seen before, but I’ve seen far worse historic flashbacks.

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