Smackdown
Date: September 16, 1999
Location: Thomas And Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 8,219
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re getting closer to Unforgiven and in this case everything is crashing down around HHH. While he survived a title match with Steve Austin on Raw, Vince McMahon is back after HHH went after Linda McMahon. That can’t end well, but we still don’t have a #1 contender to the pay per view in ten days. Let’s get to it.

Here is Raw if you need a recap.

We open with the referees on strike over unsafe working conditions. Why do wrestling promotions think stories about referees are interesting?

Opening sequence.

Here is Steve Austin to get things going. Just because he got disqualified against HHH on Raw doesn’t mean that they’re done with each other by a long shot. When HHH beat him in the knee with a chair, he should have done that much more, because HHH didn’t get the job done. Austin wants a rematch right here tonight and we should make it No Holds Barred.

Or if HHH wants to do this the hard way, Austin can just beat him so badly that he’s going to the hospital. Cue HHH and Chyna, with a bunch of cops backing them up. HHH says that’s not happening because Austin has to go to the back of the line. The title will be defended tonight though, against a main eventer of HHH’s choice. Austin promises to follow HHH all night and it’s going to involve his foot going….well you get the idea.

HHH will officially defend the title in a Six Pack Challenge at Unforgiven after the five way match went to a no contest. That’s a heck of a way to jump from nothing to something.

Here is Shane McMahon, who calls out Joey Abs because of what Joey said about Stephanie McMahon on Raw. Cue the Mean Street Posse, with Terri, so Shane dives onto Joey to start fast.

Shane McMahon vs. Joey Abs

There’s no referee because of the strike, making me wonder why the bell ring if there was no one to call it. The rest of the Posse jumps Shane before going outside as Stephanie and Test are watching in the back. Here is Gerald Brisco to count two off Shane’s rollup and another two off Joey’s suplex.

Shane’s jumping back elbow gets two but Briscoe gets in a fight with Pete Gas on the floor. Rodney comes in to beat on Shane, who fights the off as Pat Patterson, in shorts, comes out to count two on Joey, with Rodney breaking that up as well. Shane hits a corkscrew Swanton (close to a Spinal Tap) for the pin with Shawn Stasiak of all people coming in as the third referee.

Rating: C-. A match between Shane McMahon and a member of the Mean Street Posse, which didn’t even last four minutes, had three referees, two people interfering, and two fights involving some of those referees, who were replacements because the referees are on strike. That’s about as 1999 as you can get and it’s rather exhausting to keep track of all this stuff. That being said, the place was going nuts for Shane, which is one of the reasons he was around so often.

Post match Stephanie comes out and drops Joey again.

Here is Women’s Champion Ivory, who is SO EXCITED that actress/model Cindy Margolis is here. She invites Cindy into the ring and gushes over Cindy’s beauty and star power. Ivory asks Cindy to do one of the poses she gets downloaded on her website but Cindy declines. That doesn’t work for Ivory, who threatens violence if it doesn’t happen. Cindy eventually does it…and here is Jeff Jarrett to put Cindy in the Figure Four, with Cindy kind of begging him not to and then grabbing her knee. Jarrett Figure Fours Ivory for a bonus.

HHH, in trunks but without elbow pads for a weird look, says he won’t be defending against Steve Austin.

European Title: Mark Henry vs. Steve Blackman

Henry is defending after skipping a tag match with Blackman on Raw. Tony Garea is referee as Blackman kicks Henry down without much trouble. Cue Val Venis with a kendo stick to Blackman though, allowing Henry to get the easy pin.

Post match D’Lo Brown comes in and Sky Highs Henry (that wasn’t bad).

Jeff Jarrett yells at Cindy Margolis as she is put in an ambulance. Test comes in for the brawl.

Post break Jarrett challenges Test to a match tonight.

Here is Chris Jericho, with Curtis Hughes, for a chat. Jericho declares himself one bad mamma jamma and says Ken Shamrock has finally admitted defeat. Shamrock has begged him to make sure that they never meet face to face again and then licked the dust off Jericho’s boots in gratitude. He’s also begged Hughes to not rip him limb from limb, but Jericho is allowing Hughes to take his place against Shamrock tonight. That’s not all though, because Jericho has a special guest referee for this match: the masked Mexican legend, El Dopo!

Curtis Hughes vs. Ken Shamrock

Chris Jericho is on commentary as Shamrock takes Hughes down and strikes away. Hughes takes him to the floor for a drop onto the barricade as Cole dares to ask Jericho why he won’t face Shamrock. With that nonsense out of the way, Shamrock fights up and sends Hughes into various steel objects. Jericho offers a distraction though and Hughes cuts Shamrock off so the double teaming can be on. Back in and Hughes drops an elbow for two but Shamrock kneebars him. Hughes grabs the rope so Dopo immediately calls for the DQ.

Post match Shamrock is livid and unmasks Dopo as Howard Finkel, which was fairly obvious as soon as he came into the arena.

Mankind is expecting total mayhem in the five man Royal Rumble, but he and Rock will be working as a team. They’re like an automobile, with Rock being a fine engine and Mankind being the one who holds the bags. Yes he’s the rear end, but he’s the People’s Rear End. And he doesn’t like HHH either!

Remember how the referees were on strike earlier today? They’re still on strike.

Royal Rumble

Five entrants, because we need 1/6 size Royal Rumble with one minute intervals. Rock is in at #1 and talks about how Big Show, Kane or Undertaker need to go play the People’s Slow Machine to land three Brahma Bulls. You’d see Undertaker, with his Mickey Mouse tattoos and his 33lb head jumping around like a girl, Kane doing cartwheels and using his voicebox to say “I won, I won, let’s party”, and Big Show just scaring people in general.

Then the Rock himself would arrive, watch the tears stream down their cheeks, and gather up all the gold coins that they won and…well you know the bit. Anyway, after that whole thing, which I remember reciting with my friends when I was 11 because it was the funniest thing I had ever heard at the time, Big Show is in at #2 and we’re ready to go.

Rock strikes away to start but gets sent face first into the buckle to cut him off. Mankind ins in at #3 and the double teaming has Show in trouble. After what felt like a rather quick minute, Kane is in at #4 so Rock hammers away on him as Show chokes Mankind in the corner. Undertaker, in street clothes, is in at #5 to complete the field but he sits in on commentary rather than getting inside. The other four brawl, with Mankind clotheslining Kane out, only to get thrown out by Rock. Show hits a chokeslam on Rock but can’t throw him out, which is enough for Undertaker to get in the ring and dump them both for the win.

Rating: C-. What is there to say about a match like this? It wasn’t long and ended with something of a screwy finish as Undertaker did one thing and won the match. There was nothing but bragging rights on the line and that doesn’t leave much in the way of interest. Having the star power in there helped, but you need something more interesting for those stars to do.

Post match Mideon and Viscera come in to help Show beat Rock down.

Here are the Hollys to say Chyna has had more than enough time to find a partner. Cue Chyna, who is going to do this on her own.

Hollys vs. Chyna

Chyna forearms Crash (whose gear says HARDCORE HOLLY) to start so it’s quickly off to Hardcore (whose gear also says HARDCORE HOLLY). A shot to the face staggers Hardcore as well and it’s a double low blow to put the cousins down. Hardcore takes Chyna down and here is Billy Gunn to join in as Chyna’s partner. That doesn’t go well to start as a double elbow to the face puts Chyna down and Hardcore adds a suplex. Chyna DDTs her way to freedom though and it’s Gunn coming in to clean house. The Fameasser is good for the fast pin.

Rating: C. Another nothing mach but at least it was long enough to rate for once. In theory Chyna would want to go it alone here and isn’t likely to be happy with Gunn for making the save. The match was just kind of there to give Chyna a reason to get mad, and there are worse options available.

Post match Chyna yells at Gunn, as she didn’t want help, but here is Jeff Jarrett to hit her in the back with a frying pan and cover her with an apron. Jarrett gives her a soup ladle and the frying pan, saying now all she has to do is start fixing him supper.

Big Boss Man, with a bag labeled “DOGGIE BAG” is ready for….the Pepper On A Pole match. Sweet goodness can Russo quit already?

Big Boss Man vs. Al Snow

Pepper On A Pole, because this is a thing. Snow stops away to start and hits the trapping headbutts (strong grapple plus up plus B) but it’s too early to get the bag. Boss Man catches a diving Snow and then hits him with the nightstick. Cue the rottweilers from Raw with the British Bulldog for a distraction, allowing Boss Man to grab the bag…which doesn’t count as he throws it to the floor, allowing Snow to grab it for the win. The remains of a dog on a pole match involving the British Bulldog leading a team of rottweilers is the match that SETS UP the big gimmick match between these two. For the Hardcore Title.

HHH and Chyna are in the back, with Steve Austin stalking them.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Test

Jarrett, with Miss Kitty and Debra, is defending. Test kicks him in the face to start but Jarrett comes back as the Mean Street Posse comes out. A powerslam plants Jarrett as Stephanie, Shane and the Stooges come out to brawl as everything is thrown out. The fans of course want puppies.

Post match the brawl stays on and Jarrett damages Test’s shoulder. Shane saves Stephanie from Jarrett’s Figure Four.

Here is HHH, with Chyna to defend the WWF Title and there are a bunch of cops on the stage, presumably to cut off an invading Steve Austin. We cut to the back where Stephanie McMahon and Test (with his bad shoulder) are leaving, which writes Test out of the list of possible challengers. HHH says he gets to pick the guest referee, so he would like Shane McMahon to get out here.

With Shane here, HHH says he won’t be facing Undertaker, Big Show or Kane, which leaves the Rock. Since Rock has an obsession with putting things in a certain place on various people, Rock can kiss HHH’s so it’s not him. That leaves one option, and it’s someone with testicles thee size of grapefruits (Lawler: “ME???”).

HHH calls out Vince McMahon and is willing to put the title on the line to get a piece of him. We cut to the back, where Vince doesn’t want to do it but HHH suggests doing, uh, things, with Linda McMahon, which is enough to get Vince out here. Vince still says no but HHH tells him to go hide behind his skirt. HHH throws in that he can keep it up with Linda all night long and that’s enough to start the match.

WWF Title: HHH vs. Vince McMahon

Vince is challenging and hammers away in the corner, only for HHH to stomp him down without much effort. The comeback is cut off again and referee Shane McMahon does not approve. HHH fires off some shoulders in the corner and stomps Vince down even more, allowing Chyna to get in a cheap shot of her own as the beating continues.

They go outside with HHH choking with a camera cable. HHH beats him onto the announcers’ table and drops an elbow through it, with Shane’s pleas to stop not getting him anywhere. Back in and Chyna hands HHH a chair, allowing him to shove Shane down and blast Vince in the head. Shane tackles HHH down and hammers away so Chyna comes in for the save, with HHH chairing Shane in the head as well.

Cue Linda McMahon and the Stooges, with the men getting beaten down too. Chyna holds Linda so she has to watch HHH beat on the bloody Vince. The Pedigree is loaded up and heeeeere’s Austin to beat HHH down. HHH and Chyna get a Stunner each…and Austin puts Vince on top so Shane can count the pin to make Vince champion. As Austin’s music plays.

Rating: C. The match was little more than a squash until Austin came in at the end, making this the second time Austin has caused a title change in such a similar way this year (after the famous Mankind win). Vince barely got in any offense but there is nothing wrong with that kind of a story in small doses. After Vince was around the main event scene for so long, having him win the title isn’t the biggest shock, especially on a fluke like this. It was fun, and that’s what it needed to be.

HHH chases Austin through the crowd as Vince is helped up. Brisco jumps up and down to celebrate as the show ends. This was such goofy fun and Vince was always right in the middle of everything that having him win the title, even on a fluke like this, was rather entertaining.

Overall Rating: C. The ending didn’t save the show but it was good enough to carry it across the finish line. Above all else, there are still too many completely insane things going on (Pepper On A Pole) but things like Chris Jericho and Shane McMahon are bringing things up a bit. Austin is at his usual incredibleness and the show is still working, but dang they could be so much better if they got rid of some of the nonsense.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 13, 1999
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 11,186
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re closing in on Unforgiven and the big story continues to be HHH vs. the world. Steve Austin returned last week on Smackdown to nearly kill HHH with a semi truck and that means we might have the challenge for the pay per view in sight. Other than that, the rest of the company is as wacky as usual and that should make for an eventful night. Let’s get to it.

Here is Smackdown is you need a recap.

We look at Steve Austin attempting to murder HHH, who has quite a few people after him.

Opening sequence.

A bunch of people (Undertaker, Big Show, Kane, Mankind, Steve Austin) all seem to be looking for HHH.

Speaking of HHH, he gets a full police motorcade escort.

Here is Linda McMahon, with the Stooges, for a chat. Linda wastes no time in making a five way match tonight for the #1 contendership at Unforgiven. For now though, HHH has to remain champion and if Steve Austin wants a title shot, he can have it. Tonight. Cue HHH and Chyna (with security) to interrupt and things are not looking positive. HHH goes on a rant about how Linda is screwing him over but HHH tells her how things go. Cue Big Show, Undertaker, Rock, Mankind and Kane for a brawl, with HHH escaping.

We recap Jeff Jarrett attacking Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young on Smackdown.

Jarrett issues an open challenge to any woman.

The Rock, with Mankind, talks about how he is back in Anaheim and is ready to face anyone to get to HHH. This includes Mankind, even if they are friends. Mankind is ready to have feelings but he’s ready for Rock to beat him up.

Jeff Jarrett vs. ???

Miss Kitty and Debra are here with Jarrett and it’s….Luna Vachon answering the challenge. Luna charges in and gets stomped down to start, followed by a shot to the face. Jarrett hammers away in the corner but cue Ivory to hit Luna with a guitar for the DQ.

Post match Jarrett does not like Lilian Garcia announcing Luna as the winner so he puts Garcia in the Figure Four.

Chyna is not impressed with Jarrett and threatens Steve Austin with a sledgehammer.

Faarooq vs. D-Von Dudley

Strap match, just because. Faarooq starts fast and snaps off a powerslam before choking with the strap. D-Von fights back and chokes away, followed by some nasty whipping. Back up and the spinebuster gets Faarooq out of trouble, only for Bubba to hit a nasty chair to the head to give D-Von the pin.

Post match Bradshaw gets taken out with the steps but comes back with a chair to clear out the Dudleyz.

Undertaker and Big Show are ready to take out HHH, who is now the hunted instead of the hunter. Even the Crocodile Hunter can’t save them now. As for Rock, they’re going to be on him like the leather pants on the girl in the front row. This is a weird version of Undertaker and hopefully it doesn’t last long.

Jim Ross brings out the British Bulldog for a chat. Last week he gave Al Snow the Hardcore Title back because Snow deserves it. He’s also back because he wants to show that he can still do this after his injury. There is only one belt that he has left to win and that is the WWF Title. That’s the one thing he wants to win before he retires, which won’t be for a long time.

Cue the Big Boss Man to interrupt because he did not like Bulldog interrupting him last week. Before this is over between them, Bulldog is going home in a doggy bag. Cue Al Snow (he’s barking) to sing about where oh where has his Boss Man gone. Snow: “There you are Ray!” Snow recaps the Pepper saga and challenges him to a match, which will involve a cage inside the Cell, but Boss Man is only interested if the Hardcore Title is on the line. Snow says sure, so Boss Man is in, but also ready to fight tonight.

One more thing though: Snow introduces some rottweilers who will be in between the two cages. Bulldog jumps Boss Man from behind and they fight at ringside with Boss Man getting the better of things, only to be chased off by the dogs. You could hear them trying to make sense of this as they were explaining the concept and it was showing badly. No one could make this sound good, as it’s a total mess.

The Mean Street Posse, with Terri, doesn’t like Test so they’re going to beat him up, even if Shane McMahon doesn’t want them to. Oh and Stephanie McMahon is a tramp.

Someone has attacked Shane McMahon.

Tony Chimmel comes out to take over for the Fink.

Joey Abs vs. Test

The rest of the Posse is here too and they all ump Test before the bell, allowing Joey to grab a suplex for an early two. Test gets in a shot of his own though and the comeback is on. A full nelson slam puts Abs down but the Posse comes in again. That’s broken up and Test grabs a powerbomb for the fast pin.

Post match the beatdown is on again but Shane McMahon runs in for the save. The Posse is chased outside with Shane and Test giving chase in their car.

WWF Title: Steve Austin vs. HHH

Austin, in street clothes, is challenging. Hold on though as HHH is in street clothes as well and has some cops (and Chyna) with him. HHH brings up the aggravated assault from Smackdown and has personally signed a warrant for Austin’s arrest (I don’t think that’s how warrants work). The cops handcuff and arrest Austin, with HHH getting a cheap shot because of course. No match if that wasn’t clear.

Post break Austin is put in a police car and HHH takes Linda McMahon’s phone and throws it down.

Godfather vs. Chaz

Apparently Chaz and Marianna have amicably ended their relationship, so Godfather isn’t going to offer him the ladies this week. Chaz takes him down with a drop toehold to start and works on the arm as the ladies dance and shout a lot on the floor. Some arm cranking ensues but cue Marianna (wit a black eye) to ask Chaz why. Godather isn’t happy and kicks him into the corner, setting up the Ho Train (but an angry one you see), followed by the Pimp Drop for the pin. That’s not a place you want to go with a wrestling storyline and it doesn’t feel great here.

The Stooges try to get Linda McMahon to leave but she’s staying because it’s family business.

We recap X-Pac and Kane going their separate ways.

A cage is lowered and here is Chris Jericho, but believe it or not he has something to say. Jericho calls out Ken Shamrock, who is certainly a SHAM, but he certainly doesn’t work. This is the Jericho Prison and he is ready to prove himself against one of the most proficient fighters in the world. This brings out GOTCH GRACIE, a masked man who has trained everywhere (Lawler: “JR, you probably know where he played college football!”).

Chris Jericho vs. Gotch Gracie

Gracie is in a mask and all black, with his shirt saying GOTCH. Jericho (“Here goes nothing!”) takes him down for a bow and arrow beore grabbing the mic and saying that could have broken his back. Jericho puts on an Octopus Hold and muscles him over for a suplex, with Jericho saying that’s enough. Gracie fights back with a clothesline but gets pulled into the Liontamer for the fast pin.

Post match Jericho goes for an ankle lock but Ken Shamrock runs in. Jericho and Gracie beat Shamrock down and Gracie is unmasked as….Curtis (Mr.) Hughes. That’s not the best reveal but you know exactly what you’re getting with Hughes.

D’Lo Brown and Godfather have a business transaction.

Chris Jericho shows he just proved that he is the most dangerous man in the WWF. He went out and got Curtis Hue to protect Shamrock from Jericho himself.

Kane vs. Mankind vs. Big Show vs. Undertaker vs. The Rock

For a title shot at Unforgiven and for some reason Undertaker and Show are introduced with a combined weight. The two of them jump Mankind before everyone else get here but argue over the pin. Rock and Kane come out as well with Kane hitting the top rope clothesline on Mankind.

Cue Mideon and Viscera to jump Mankind as this is just a big brawl rather than much of a match. Mankind manages a double arm DDT on Kane but Undertaker drops the referee. Rock gives Undertaker a DDT into the People’s Elbow as another referee comes in, only to get taken out by Kane.

More referees and agents come in and get decked as well, followed by Earl Hebner, who throws up his hands and leaves. Cue the Godfather to go after Undertaker (it goes badly), Crash Holly to go after Big Show (it goes worse) and more people who are beaten up just as quickly. The locker room empties out and everyone starts fighting with everyone as this is thrown out.

Rating: C. What is there to say about something like this? It’s barely a match and is much more about a bunch of people brawling before even more people come in to brawl as well. That doesn’t get you very far, but it was certainly energetic. And we still don’t even have a #1 contender as the lack of organization continues.

And no, that isn’t the main event, because it’s 1999.

The referees tell Earl Hebner to do something about these beatings they’re taking.

Val Venis/D’Lo Brown vs. Mark Henry/Steve Blackman

This feels like it belongs on a Lethal Lottery show. Well hang on as Henry isn’t here so Blackman bets up Venis on his own. Venis fights back and hands it off to Brown, who misses an elbow and gets caught with a dropkick. It’s back to Venis for a spinebuster but Blackman hits an enziguri for two more. Venis is right back with a fisherman’s suplex into the Low Down for the fast pin. It’s almost weird to see a straight match with nothing screwy going on.

The screwiness is after the match as GTV pops on to show Henry getting a lap dance from Godfather’s ladies.

A limousine, with a police escort, arrives.

WWF Title: HHH vs. ???

HHH, in street clothes and with Chyna, is defending and calls out Linda McMahon of all people. HHH wants Linda to say that Steve Austin has forfeited his title shot and has to start all the way at the bottom again. Linda: “No.” That has HHH ready to go after Linda but cue Vince McMahon to make the save. Vince says he gave his word that he wouldn’t interfere in business, but this is personal.

They’re ready to fight so here is Austin (also in street clothes and again, I don’t think this company knows how the legal system works) to start the brawl, and apparently the match, with HHH. Austin beats him around the ring and into the crowd, setting up a suplex on the floor. A bunch of chair shots and a right hand to Earl Hebner are enough to get Austin disqualified.

Rating: C. This was an angle rather than a match (I’m shocked too) and that’s all it needed to be. Austin being back in the arena so soon after a big angle earlier means it should have been a brawl like this, but that’s quite the match to just burn off in three minutes. Either way, the fans were going nuts and I guess that’s what matters the most?

Post match the cage is lowered and Austin beats HHH up both inside and outside to end the show.

We get about five extra minutes, called Extra Attitude, of Austin beating on HHH even more and drinking beer. Real revolutionary stuff there, though the cage is kind of swinging back and forth for a weird feeling.

Overall Rating: C. They were trying to have something coherent here but it was just enough of a mixture of the Russo style of insanity with something more focused. The overarching story of “everyone is out to get HHH and tonight is Austin’s chance” is fine, but there are so many moving parts that you need a scorecard. It kept my interest, though it had the usual problem of feeling like they had three weeks piled into two hours. Calm the heck down and see how much better the show can be. You can even keep the matches short, but let something sink in for once.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: August 19, 2008
Location: iWireless Center, Moline, Illinois
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We’re done with Summerslam and the ECW Title match lasted about a minute, with Mark Henry retaining the title over Matt Hardy via DQ. There almost has to be a rematch as we need something more than that, as if nothing else, there isn’t much going on around here. We still have Finlay vs. Mike Knox which at least has some potential. Let’s get to it.

Here is Summerslam if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the Summerslam title match, including Jeff Hardy saving Matt Hardy from a post match beating.

Opening sequence.

Miz/John Morrison/Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Tommy Dreamer/Super Crazy/Evan Bourne

Well this is different. For some reason Crazy and Bourne come out together while Dreamer gets his own entrance. Oh right he’s the “star”. Crazy and Morrison start things off with the latter grabbing a headlock and knocking him down. Back up and Crazy kicks the leg out, setting up a standing moonsault and it’s off to Bourne, who gets taken into the wrong corner.

Chavo’s Saito suplex gets two and it’s back to Morrison for a Russian legsweep for the same. Miz puts on a chinlock but Bourne fights up and rolls over to Dreamer for the not so hot tag. House is cleaned and a running bulldog puts Miz down for two. Everything breaks down and Crazy hits a big running flip dive to take out Miz and Morrison. Bourne dives onto everyone else but Miz grabs a neckbreaker to put Dreamer away.

Rating: C+. Not exactly a great match but I’ll absolutely take this as a breath of fresh air around here. It’s so nice to see some fresh pairings and a bit of a different presentation and it worked out well enough. On top of that, Dreamer lost to make things that much more entertaining.

Ricky Ortiz vs. Gavin Spears

This is Spears’ (formerly known as Shawn Spears in OVW) debut and he doesn’t need rally towels to become a star. Ortiz shoulders him down to start but Spears is back up with a wristlock. A neckbreaker gives Spears two but Ortiz fights out of the chinlock without much trouble. Ortiz’s layout powerslam gets two and the middle rope shoulder into the Big O finishes Spears off.

Rating: C. As has been the case, Ortiz just isn’t that good. He has a good look with the big hair and the physique but that’s all he has going for him. Spears was a bit more appealing here as he had something of a serious, sinister nature to him, but this was about Ortiz and his uninteresting style, as it has been for the last month or so.

Here are Finlay and Hornswoggle for a chat. It’s true that he gets in the ring with Hornswoggle and dances around with some kids but Mike Knox doesn’t like it. If Knox has a point to prove, come down here and prove it. Cue Knox to the stage, with Finlay telling him to come to the ring. But no because Knox is going to do this when he wants to. That doesn’t work for Finlay and the fight is on in the aisle. Agents finally manage to break it up.

We look at the Shawn Michaels/Rebecca Michaels/Chris Jericho incident from Summerslam.

We look at the ECW Title match at Summerslam again.

ECW Title: Mark Henry vs. Matt Hardy

Henry, with Tony Atlas, is defending. Hardy slugs away to start but it’s way too early for the Twist of Fate. Instead Hardy sends him face first into the middle buckle and starts going after the knee to take Henry down. The leg is fine enough for Henry to hit a slam, only to miss the big elbow. An enziguri drops Henry, who just runs Hardy over without much effort. Henry misses a charge into the corner though and Hardy hammers away as we take a break.

Back with Henry working on a neck crank, then knocking Hardy down and grabbing it again. Henry powers him into the corner where Atlas gets in a cheap shot, which is perfectly fine with Striker, because Striker is a pest. The bearhug goes on to keep Hardy in trouble before Henry kicks him down for two.

Henry grabs the neck crank again, followed by a gorilla press slam but Henry misses a splash. Hardy’s middle rope elbow to the head staggers Henry and the legdrop gets two. A high crossbody gives Hardy two and the Twist of Fate connects, only for Atlas to pull Hardy out, with the referee somehow not figuring this out. Instead Hardy goes up for the moonsault, which hits raised knees. The World’s Strongest Slam retains the title.

Rating: B-. The interference at the end was a bit much to swallow but it was nice to see the match actually take place. There is a case to be made for a Hardy rematch and that isn’t the worst idea, but for now it’s a good title defense for Henry. Hardy is the biggest name on the show so Henry gets something by beating him and Hardy was protected enough in the process.

Overall Rating: C+. While not a good show, there was a bit more energy this week and I’ll take that over the same stuff we’ve seen time after time. ECW does not have the biggest or deepest roster in the world and there is only so much they can do with what they have. The presentation was better this week and I had a much better time than what I’ve been stuck with around here recently.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: August 12, 2008
Location: Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Todd Phillips, Matt Striker

We’re closing in on Summerslam and the ECW Title match between Mark Henry and Matt Hardy. Unfortunately that’s about the only important thing going on around here and that has made for some very dry shows in recent weeks. Hopefully it can change this week as we have Tommy Dreamer vs. Colin Delaney in an Extreme Rules match. Uh, joy. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Commentary hypes up the main event (Matt Hardy/Mark Henry vs. Miz/John Morrison), with Striker saying Summerslam is “less than one work week away”. It’s also less than a normal week away, but Striker has to try to sound smarter than he really is.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Colin Delaney

Extreme Rules. Delaney tries to run away to start but can’t even do that right, meaning Dreamer can catch him in the aisle and hammer away. Dreamer’s punch hits the post though and Delaney sends him into the steps to take over. Delaney’s trashcan lid shot is kendo sticked out of the air and a pumphandle throw with the stick has Delaney in even more trouble. The running dropkick against the trashcan in the Tree of Woe rocks Delaney even more but a middle rope trashcan lid shot only hits mat. Delaney misses a middle rope legdrop though and a DDT onto a stop sign gives Dreamer the pin.

Rating: C. Not much to this one, but that’s kind of the point. Delaney was never presented as any kind of a threat and was little more than a nuisance to Dreamer, who beat him up without much trouble. It’s kind of nice to see them go with the straightforward approach here, as there was no reason to do anything else.

Miz and John Morrison look back at last week’s debut of the Dirt Sheet, and brag about their comedy chops. They’re the Pineapple Express of WWE.

Smackdown Rebound.

Bam Neely vs. Evan Bourne

Neely has a concussion but is ordered to fight at Chavo Guerrero’s (at ringside) insistence. Bourne kicks away in the corner to start but Chavo’s distraction lets Neely knock him to the floor. Back in and a clothesline gives Neely two and we hit the neck crank. Bourne fights up and strikes away, setting up a DDT. Air Bourne finishes Neely off.

Rating: C. Again: Bourne is being treated as something different and it’s working. Just having him win so often is a totally different presentation and it’s helping a lot. There is always room for a high flier with an awesome looking finish and if Bourne can go beyond that, he’ll have quite the bright future.

Tiffany is in Teddy Long’s office when Armando Estrada comes in to have Long sign his new contract. Long signs the contract and says we’re going to celebrate, with Tiffany bringing over some champagne for a toast. Estrada is in action tonight, and it’s up next. Against Finlay.

Finlay vs. Armando Estrada

Hornswoggle is here with Finlay. They fight over a lockup to start until Finlay knocks him down and grabs an early chinlock. Finlay takes him outside for a ram into the apron as Mike Knox comes out to watch. The distraction doesn’t really work as Finlay comes back in to work on an armbar before going after the ribs. Another attempt at the distraction does work though and Estrada drops him onto the rope. Estrada’s chinlock goes on for a bit before Finlay fights up…and it knocked right back into the chinlock. Finlay isn’t having that and hits the Celtic Cross (not Emerald Fusion Striker) for the pin.

Rating: C. Another fairly slow paced match here but that was kind of the point. You’re only going to get so much out of a match from Estrada and this was about setting up more from Knox vs. Finlay anyway. Finlay is getting a nice push around here and he’s certainly better than some of the other options.

Post match Finlay brings a fan in to dance with him for the nice moment.

Ricky Ortiz comes in to see Teddy Long and Tiffany and debuts his new merchandising idea: a rally towel. Long doesn’t quite get it but Ortiz wants Long to pay for 50,000 of them. We’ll see about that if he can prove his worth going forward, including a new Superstar next week. Tiffany likes the towel.

Summerslam rundown.

Matt Hardy and Mark Henry don’t trust each other before the main event.

Mark Henry/Matt Hardy vs. Miz/John Morrison

Tony Atlas is here with Henry and Hardy. The rather annoyed Henry clears the other villains out without much trouble to start and Hardy approves. We take a break and come back with Henry slowly pounding Morrison down as Striker says Miz and Morrison should still be Tag Team Champions because they weren’t pinned in a triple threat title match. Hardy’s running bulldog out of the corner gets two on Miz, who bails out to the floor.

Hardy follows him but gets driven into the steps to let the villains take over. Back in and Morrison hammers on Hardy in the corner, setting up the Russian legsweep for two. Morrison works on the back and ribs as Striker talks about chess and yoga. Hardy gets in a cheap shot and goes up, where he gets caught but hits a middle rope Side Effect….for the delayed pin. Oh something went VERY wrong there as that was either mistimed or Morrison was hurt.

Rating: C. The match was nothing special but I’m curious what happened with the ending. I would bet on Morrison getting hurt as the match just stopped cold and there was nothing to indicate it was planned to go that way. Odds are they didn’t have much time left, but something was absolutely off from what they had planned.

Post match Miz checks on Morrison before Henry kicks Miz to the floor (never touching Morrison). Henry insists his hand is raised and then raises Hardy’s hand. Then gives him the World’s Strongest Slam.

Overall Rating: C+. It’s not a good sign when all four matches have the same middle of the road rating but it oddly made for a better show than we’ve gotten in recent weeks. There was nothing that really stood out, but they’ve done a decent enough job of making me want to see Hardy vs. Henry. Now they still need to make it work, but I’ll take a start over nothing at all.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: August 5, 2008
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Todd Phillips, Matt Striker

I refuse to believe that this show could be less interesting than last week’s, but I also have a tendency to be very wrong about this kind of thing. Last week’s show featured a grand total of nothing interesting and bad matches, but hopefully they can do anything better here. Then again they probably won’t. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Matt Striker is replacing Tazz for this week on commentary. Oh yeah it’s already getting worse.

Chavo Guerrero/Bam Neely vs. Evan Bourne/Ricky Ortiz

Ortiz knocks Neely into the corner to start as commentary goes over the history of wrestling in Robinsdale, Minnesota, Neely’s hometown. Ortiz cranks on Neely’s arm and Bourne comes in for a shot to the same arm. It’s off to Chavo, who gets taken down with a running hurricanrana. A middle rope shoulder gives Ortiz two on Chavo as Striker talks up Ortiz’s time in the XFL.

Neely gets in a cheap shot from the apron though and comes in to send Ortiz into the corner (thankfully not messing up his large hair). Chavo comes back in for a chinlock but Ortiz fights up without much trouble and hands it back to Bourne. Everything breaks down and Bourne rolls Neely up for the pin.

Rating: C. Bourne is a good high flier, Chavo is fine as a midcard villain and there are worse bodyguards than Neely. That leaves Ortiz and sweet goodness he is somehow getting less interesting. Other than a unique look, there is absolutely nothing that stands out about him and thankfully the attention was on Bourne here, which did help a bit. Ortiz isn’t the next thing though and hopefully WWE figures that out fast.

Here is Mike Knox, who isn’t going to explain why he attacked Finlay last week. Instead, he’s here to show why Finlay is a fraud. We get a clip of Finlay dancing around with Hornswoggle, which Knox calls a joke. The idea of Finlay being the man who loves to fight makes Knox laugh but here are Finlay and Hornswoggle to interrupt. Finlay says that was a funny clip but it’s just the tip of the iceberg “Fred”. He doesn’t really care what Knox’s name is because if Knox has a problem with them, take a shot. Finlay tells Knox to take his shot, but Knox better knock him out. Knox walks off instead.

Raw Rebound.

Armando Estrada vs. Tommy Dreamer

This is Estrada’s final chance to earn a contract. Dreamer grabs a headlock to start before armdragging him into an armbar. Back up and a running clothesline sends Estrada to the floor before tying him in the Tree of Woe. Cue Colin Delaney for a distraction though, allowing Estrada to grab a rollup for the fast pin.

Post break, Delaney congratulates Estrada, who has no idea why Delaney helped him. It’s because Estrada gave him a chance, but here is Teddy Long to make Delaney vs. Dreamer in an Extreme Rules match next week.

Smackdown Rebound. A one hour show should really not need two lengthy recaps.

Summerslam rundown.

Braden Walker vs. James Curtis

They fight over wrist control to start until Walker’s suplex gets two. Commentary talks about Curtis being a boating captain as they try to come up with anything interesting here. Curtis gets in a shot of his own but Walker is back with an atomic drop into a clothesline. A jumping clothesline puts Curtis down, only to have him knock Walker into the corner. Walker hits another clothesline (even commentary points out that he likes that move) and grabs a fisherman’s suplex for the pin. This was really dull, with Walker never getting out of first gear and doing absolutely nothing that made him feel interesting in the slightest.

It’s time for the TV debut of the Dirt Sheet, Miz and John Morrison’s talk show. Morrison says he was offered $15 million for photos of himself as a baby but he turned People Magazine down because he isn’t for sale. With that out of the way, it’s time for our guest: Mark Henry. This means a picture of Henry on the Titantron with his mouth making grunting noises.

Tony Atlas (again, a picture) pops up to say something odd about money. Henry talks about his love of eating, which Morrison says makes you fat. Morrison: “Mark, I think you might have a gland problem.” None of the Divas would find Henry attractive, so here is a picture of Lena Yada to agree, along with blowing Miz kisses. Morrison shows off his abs but here are the real Henry and Atlas to interrupt.

Atlas is sure there has been some kind of a mistake because they did not come here to be disrespected. Miz and Morrison back off, with Morrison praising Henry’s abs. If they were going to disrespect anyone, it would be their next guest: Matt Hardy (or a picture thereof). Matt doesn’t know what it’s like to be champion because he’s never been #1 at anything.

Cue the real Matt to call out the Conan O’Brien style comedy and make a Brokeback Mountain joke. They had wondered how Matt became the #1 contender, which Matt says was by beating them. Like the slogan of their show says: be jealous. Matt promises to win the ECW Title but gets in a fight with Miz and Morrison. That includes Morrison accidentally hitting Henry, leaving Miz and Morrison to get wrecked to end the show. Miz and Morrison are amusing, but it might take some time for this stuff to really catch on.

Overall Rating: C-. Somehow, Finlay and Knox might be the most entertaining part of the show, which says a lot. There is just not much to this show and people like Ortiz, Delaney and maybe Estrada aren’t helping. A lot of the show feels it is just there to fill in time, which is hard to fathom on an hour long episode. It’s hard to imagine that there is no one else that could be sent to this show to spice it up a bit, but there is nothing to indicate that they will be showing up anytime soon.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: July 29, 2008
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Tazz

We have a new broadcast team this week after Mike Adamle was named General Manager of Raw for reasons I don’t quite comprehend. The big story here is that Matt Hardy is the new #1 contender to the ECW Title, but unfortunately that’s about the only story of note on this show. Maybe they can get something else set up this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We look back at Matt Hardy winning a four way last week to become the new #1 contender.

Opening sequence.

Tazz introduces Todd Grisham to the broadcast team.

Here is Matt Hardy for a chat. He was excited to be drafted to ECW about a month ago because it felt like a perfect fit, given his history of going to the extreme. Now he has a huge opportunity because he could be ECW Champion…and here is Mark Henry, with Tony Atlas, to interrupt. Atlas talks about how Henry was drafted to ECW as well and now he is the ECW Champion.

But what has Hardy done since he was drafted here? Lose the US Title! For now though, we’ll settle for a demonstration, with Henry bending a steel bar, just like he’ll do to Hardy at Summerslam. Hardy says it’s a wrestling match at Summerslam and unlike the bar, he can fight back. Henry can break his bones but he cannot break his spirit, which is why Hardy will win the ECW Title. This was basically Henry saying he’ll win, Henry showing off his power, and Hardy not caring. I’m going to need more than that.

Ricky Ortiz vs. Chavo Guerrero

Bam Neely is here with Guerrero. They take their time to start until Ortiz powers him down without much effort. A gorilla press plants Guerrero again but he manages to kick Ortiz into the ropes for a needed breather. The reverse chinlock with a knee in the back goes on, followed by a front facelock to keep Ortiz in trouble. Ortiz fights up but gets sent face first into the buckle to cut him off. Guerrero grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes and Neely helping…but the referee catches them for the DQ.

Rating: C-. It was maybe a bit better than Ortiz’s debut but there is nothing here that makes him stand out in any way. He’s the same generic wrestler with a good set of muscles and a lot of hair, but that’s about it. ECW needs some fresh stars, but this hasn’t exactly made me interested in anything Ortiz is doing.

Post match the beatdown is on until Evan Bourne runs in to…well get a cheap shot on Guerrero and Neely, who chases him off. Ortiz is still down in the ring so Bourne didn’t really accomplish much there.

Colin Delaney comes in to see Mark Henry and Tony Atlas, asking why they left him last week. Atlas says Delaney needs to prove he belongs with them, which he can do tonight….against Matt Hardy.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle

Finlay and Miz get things going with the camera making sure to point out the shillelagh on the apron. For some reason Miz decides to charge at Finlay, who grabs him by the face and drops an elbow. The nerve hold doesn’t last long before Finlay drops him with a shoulder for two. We’re already in the chinlock, making me think that they’re on rather different pages for whatever reason.

Morrison comes in for a cravate on Finlay, only to have Hornswoggle come in to trip Morrison down. Everything breaks down and stereo seated sentons send the villains outside as we take a break. Back with Morrison fighting out of a headlock (that’s a weird one) but getting taken right back down for a kick between the shoulders.

We hit the chinlock AGAIN as it’s like they’re allergic to getting going here. Morrison fights up but misses the breakdancing legdrop, allowing Finlay to grab a half crab. That doesn’t last long either as Morrison drives him into the corner, only to get backslided for two. Finlay puts the nerve hold on again as I’m almost in awe of what they’re doing here.

Back up and Finlay hits a clothesline, only to have Miz break up the cover. Finlay goes after Miz and gets posted as we might actually be doing something for a change. Miz comes in for the armbar but Morrison misses a slingshot dropkick. Finlay gets in a suplex for two and Hornswoggle tags himself in. A headscissors is blocked though and Morrison hits a reverse powerbomb for the pin.

Rating: D+. That’s one of the least interesting matches I’ve seen in a long time and I really don’t know what they were doing. Finlay more or less wrestled the match by himself, which makes sense as Hornswoggle can’t do much, but it didn’t need to be that dull. Maybe they were trying to fill in time or something, but Finlay is capable of much better than what we got here. Rather bad stuff.

Post match Miz and Morrison leave, allowing Mike Knox to come in and lay Finlay out.

Matt Hardy vs. Colin Delaney

Mark Henry and Tony Atlas are on the stage despite saying they would be in Delaney’s corner. Delaney gets knocked the corner and suplexed as Hardy doesn’t seem to be having too much trouble to start. A boot in the corner slows Hardy down and a middle rope dropkick actually gives Delaney two. Hardy easily suplexes him back down though and hits the middle rope elbow t othe back of the head. The Side Effect and Twist of Fate finish for Hardy in a hurry.

Post match Atlas and Henry come to the ring, with Henry launching Delaney to the floor. Henry stares Hardy down and then leaves, walking by Delaney to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was one of the weaker things I’ve seen from WWE in a long time, as there is just nothing going on here to warrant it being its own show. Atlas summed up the problem with Hardy as the challenger: the only thing he recently did was lose, which isn’t exactly something that makes me want to see what he does next. The rest of the show wasn’t much better, making this pretty horrible.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: July 22, 2008
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Adamle

We’re done with the Great American Bash and that means we need a new #1 contender to the ECW Title. Mark Henry dispatched Tommy Dreamer to the shock of no one and needs someone else to crush next. There is a chance we find that out here as Summerslam is less than a month away. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Teddy Long to present a much bigger ECW Title to Mark Henry. Thank goodness as the one he had looked like a toy. Henry, with Tony Atlas, comes out and is rather pleased with the new belt. Atlas talks about how this is a new ECW in the home of the original. That beautiful new title is something you can all be proud of and it is held by the World’s Strongest Man. If you try to hold onto the past, you will be swept aside, but if you go along with it, you will be fine.

Like Colin Delaney, who joins us in the ring for an explanation of why he betrayed Tommy Dreamer. Delaney wanted to be just like Dreamer, but it just got him beaten up over and over. Then he saw Atlas and Henry and wanted to be like them, so here we are. Delaney calls them his future, but Long says Dreamer is Delaney’s future. As in his immediately future.

Colin Delaney vs. Tommy Dreamer

Delaney hides in the corner to start so Dreamer powers him into and then back out of said corner. They go outside with Delaney getting in a cheap shot but Dreamer runs him over with a clothesline. Dreamer ties him in the Tree Of Woe for a running dropkick, followed by a pumphandle throw. The DDT finishes Delaney in a hurry.

Miz and John Morrison are unhappy with losing their Tag Team Titles but they’re ready to win the fatal four way tonight to crown a new #1 contender to the ECW Title. Well one of them anyway. Morrison: “May the Buddha of luck sit in your corner.”

Jenny McCarthy doesn’t like autism.

Evan Bourne vs. James Curtis

Chavo Guerrero, with Bam Neely, is on commentary. Bourne takes him down with an armbar to start as Chavo brags about his various accomplishments. Curtis makes the rope so Bourne hits a nice dropkick into a hurricanrana for two. Bourne grabs a sanding armbar but a monkey flip is blocked with a grab of the rope. A belly to back suplex gets two and we’re off to the chinlock. Bourne fights up and strikes away, with another hurricanrana setting up the shooting star press to finish Curtis.

Rating: C+. Curtis has been around a few times now and he’s done well in his short appearances, but there is only so much you can get out of a match that doesn’t even last five minutes. Other than that, Bourne continues his ascent as he is slowly becoming a bigger star around here, which is what ECW really needs.

Post match Guerrero and Neely go after Bourne but he gives them the slip.

Finlay is ready to win the four way to get an ECW Title shot. Finlay: “Who needs luck when you’ve got a shillelagh?”

Raw Rebound.

Tiffany talks to Ricky Ortiz about her marketing background when Teddy Long interrupts. Ortiz has been working on some ideas, including a nickname: The Latin Assassin, complete with hand gestures! Long points out the whole “you’ve had one match” issue so next week we’ll double that.

Video on Mike Knox.

Matt Hardy is ready to get back to winning.

Matt Hardy vs. Miz vs. John Morrison vs. Finlay

One fall to a finish for the ECW Title shot at Summerslam. As you might have expected, a mini tag match breaks out, with Miz and Morrison being sent outside rather quickly. Finlay backs Hardy into the corner for some trash talking before Finlay drops him with a left arm clothesline. Miz and Morrison get back in to take over, which is cut off rather quickly. Hardy’s middle rope elbow to the back of the head drops Morrison and a backslide gives Hardy two. Hardy stands alone and we take a break.

Back with Morrison hitting a neckbreaker on Finlay as Miz chokes Hardy on the ropes. Finlay gets back up to go after Miz and Morrison, including an atomic drop and right hand to Miz. Some rollups get two each before Miz sends Hardy into the buckle. Finlay grabs a Fujiwara armbar on Morrison as Hardy suplexes Miz for…no cover as the referee is WAY out of position. With that broken up, Finlay takes over and gets two each on Hardy and Miz, only to get posted by Morrison.

For some reason, Morrison goes after Hornswoggle, earning a toss over the barricade. Miz has to save Morrison and drives Finlay into said barricade as there is a bunch of water on the camera lens. Some double teaming puts Finlay down so Hardy gets the chance to beat up both villains for a change. The double teaming takes Hardy down in the corner though, with a double gutbuster making it even worse.

Posing ensues until Morrison rolls Hardy up for two, meaning it’s time for angry Miz. The argument is on but they go after Hardy instead, only for the Flying Chuck to take Miz out by mistake. Finlay remembers he’s in the match and comes back in with the Regal Roll for two on Hardy.

For some reason Finlay actually goes up for a middle rope dropkick to put Morrison down but Hardy is back up to take everyone out. Finlay is back with the running seated senton to Morrison, with Hardy making the save. Miz’s corner clothesline hits Hardy but goes after Hornswoggle due to reasons of Miz isn’t that smart. Finlay shillelaghs Miz but gets kicked in the head by Morrison. The distraction lets Hardy kick Morrison out of the air and hit the Twist of Fate for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B-. Good enough stuff here, with Hardy being the best choice for the next challenger. I’m not sure I can imagine Finlay challenging Mark Henry on a major show and that leaves the other two and….no. The match got some time and that made things a bit more interesting as Hardy had to overcome some odds, which went about as well as it could have gone.

Mark Henry comes out for the staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The main event got some time, but it really did feel like it was just there to fill in a lot of the show. That’s still the biggest problem with ECW: there is very, very little here, as you had three stories in an hour. That isn’t much to go on, and it only worked fairly well here. Not a bad show, but they still need a lot more depth as there is very little to get interested about.

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Wrestlemania XXII
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

It’s time for the biggest night of the year and this time around it has been rather fun. The Raw side has been a heck of a build while the Smackdown side has been hit and miss at best. This is one of the more forgotten Wrestlemanias (given that the image on the poster was of John Cena vs. Booker T., a match which hadn’t taken place in over a year at this point, you can kind of tell that they aren’t caring all that much) and it’s also the last one to date in a regular arena. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Eugene, Viscera, Goldust, Snitsky, Rob Conway, Tyson Tomko, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch, Matt Striker, Super Crazy, Psicosis, Funaki, Steven Richards, Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, Animal, William Regal, Simon Dean

Half from Raw and half from Smackdown, so yes they are wearing the designated shirts. Dean tries to do his intro and gets kicked in the face for the immediate elimination. Richards gets rid of Conway and Funaki goes out as well. There goes Cade, followed by Goldust getting rid of Richards. Striker is out too and there go Crazy and Goldust as the ring is cleared out in a hurry. Snitsky gets rid of Regal and MNM dumps Eugene after a Snapshot.

We get the Raw vs. Smackdown showdown and Murdoch and Psicosis go out back to back. We’re down to Viscera, MNM, Snitsky, Tomko and Animal with Viscera and Animal being the targets for the other four. Viscera misses a charge in the corner but beats up MNM without much trouble. That means a double Visagra (Cole: “Melts in your mouth, not in your hand!” What in the world could that possibly mean in this context?) and Melina is nearly sick. It gets even worse as Viscera tosses MNM to get us down to four.

Snitsky kicks Tomko out by mistake and the LOD chants start back up. A big boot to Animal lets Viscera get rid of him, much to the crowd’s annoyance. Snitsky misses a running big boot though and Viscera wins without touching Snitsky at all. Cole: “I was hoping that would go on for another 15-20 minutes!” Tazz: “One of the best battle royals I’ve ever been a part of!” They’re bringing the Wrestlemania level snark this year.

Rating: D. Yeah this was horrible but the whole point was to get the undercard on the roster. I’m not sure on the logic of having the Chicago guy get all the way to the final three and then have him lose for the sake of Viscera, but I guess they don’t want a heel winning to open the show. Not that it would have mattered as it would have been one of the pops of the night, but it’s not worth getting annoyed about in the first place as it was a six minute battle royal before the feature presentation begins.

Post match Viscera kisses Lilian, who doesn’t seem thrilled.

Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child sings America the Beautiful. You know they’re getting in those American visuals every year and this is no exception.

The opening video looks at some great Wrestlemania moments over I Dare You by Shinedown. I like the song so this is a pretty good combination. They switch over to another song and the matches for this year’s show. That’s a nice mix that they tend to do well most years.

The posters of wrestlers around the top of the arena are a nice touch.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Big Show/Kane

Show/Kane are defending and we get the always awesome visual of the city set being on fire during Kane’s entrance. Masters shoulders Kane down to start as JR says this is the first tradition two on two tag match for these titles since Wrestlemania XV. How do you go that long without doing the normal version? Kane is back up with a leapfrog into a dropkick and it’s off to Show for the loud chops in the corner. A poke to the eye allows the tag off to Carlito, who gets a HECK of a reception (one of the loudest reactions I’ve ever seen for him), though Show throws both he and Masters around with ease.

Carlito gets gorilla pressed over the top onto Masters (seemingly elbowing him in the face on the way down) and Kane hits the top rope clothesline onto both of them. Back in and a double flapjack actually gets two on Show, with the replay showing a ram into an exposed buckle had something to do with it. Kane gets the tag so Show has to break up the Masterlock. Everything breaks down and Masters saves Carlito from the chokeslam. Masters hits Carlito by mistake when trying to save him again, meaning Kane can boot Masters to the floor. Not the chokeslam can hit Carlito to retain the titles.

Rating: C-. It was basically a more energetic Raw match and that works well enough for a Wrestlemania opener. I tend to like something like this more than some white hot match to open the show as it means you can go up from here. Carlito and Masters hadn’t been treated as threats to the title coming into the show so it makes sense for them to be little more than an annoyance here.

Post match, Carlito and Masters argue, with the fans being entirely behind Carlito. No violence ensues though.

Shawn Michaels, with a bandage on his head, says he doesn’t regret saying that Vince McMahon needed to grow up. Last year he and Kurt Angle tore the house down and the year before that, he did the same thing with Chris Benoit and HHH. Tonight, Shawn is going to be a different version of himself. Tonight, Vince McMahon needs to bow down and pray because Shawn is taking him to his own personal h***.

Matt Hardy vs. Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Ric Flair vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Rob Van Dam

Money in the Bank, allowing Cole to get in his first (to be fair in this case, minor) slip up of the night by saying Edge cashed in after John Cena’s Armageddon match. It’s a big brawl to start and the fans are behind Van Dam early on. Hardy goes for the first ladder but Van Dam takes him down with a slingshot dive onto the ladder onto Hardy for the crash. A ladder is bridged against the ropes so Shelton gets a running start for a huge flip dive to take down all of the young people.

Flair and Finlay fight in the ring (go on) but Matt comes in for the save with a superplex to bring Flair off the ladder (egads man). So Flair screams a lot and gets the X treatment (thanks to his knee), meaning we’re going to be down a person after about two and a half minutes. Lashley goes up top but Shelton grabs a sunset bomb. He can’t get Lashley down though so Finlay and Hardy go into the hurt business to bring Lashley crashing to the mat. Hardy crushes Finlay with the ladder in the corner until Finlay throws it back at him.

Finlay loads up the ladder but here’s Flair (after about three minutes away) to cut him off. Chops abound and Flair goes up again until Finlay makes the save with the Shillelagh, making Flair take another bump he shouldn’t be taking. The briefcase is swinging back and forth so Finlay can’t pull it down, allowing Shelton to go up as well. Lashley breaks that up and hits the Dominator on Benjamin, so Van Dam has to dropkick a chair into Lashley for the save.

Matt’s screaming legdrop from the ladder hits Lashley but he has to Side Effect Finlay off the ladder. Finlay gets knocked down as well though and Rob hits a splash off the very top of the ladder for the big crash. Van Dam goes up so Shelton does the always insane springboard onto the top of the ladder (because he can just do that) and hammers away. Matt brings in another ladder and climbs up to slug away at Shelton, who steps over to the other ladder. Rob shoves them both over for the big crash to the floor (always looks great) though and pulls down the briefcase to win.

Rating: B. This was good but not quite up to the standard that the big ladder matches have. It wasn’t all that long either and they didn’t have time to build much up. Shelton got in the big, impressive spots but there were enough high level bumps to go around. Van Dam and Flair were the only realistic winners here too so they picked one of the best options. Not as good as the others, but it still did what it was supposed to do.

New Hall of Famer Gene Okerlund is interrupted by Randy Orton, who doesn’t think much of someone who held a microphone for thirty five years. He promises to win the Smackdown World Title tonight but here’s Batista to say whoever leaves as champion is just holding it for him. Next year, he’s going to be champion at Wrestlemania XXIII.

It’s time for the Hall of Fame class, minus Bret Hart, who was not comfortable with appearing.

Gene Okerlund (No one did it better.)

Sensational Sherri (How was she not in already?)

Tony Atlas (He always seems happy to be around.)

Verne Gagne (Doesn’t mean anything directly to WWE, but you don’t have a wrestling Hall of Fame without him.)

William Perry (Sure, but he couldn’t get a suit? Or a tie? Or a shirt that tucked in?)

The Blackjacks (Again, how were they not in already?)

Eddie Guerrero (Yep.)

Vickie Guerrero looks rather overcome by the reception in a touching moment.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL, with Jillian Hall, is challenging and the ramp raises up so the limo can drive in. After commentary can manage to stop talking about Jillian’s cowgirl look, they bring up JBL wanting to prove that he can beat another great technical wrestler after Eddie Guerrero. They go straight to the slugout to start until Benoit drop toeholds him to try the Crossface. JBL is able to block it so Benoit headbutts him in the back of the head, which is a rather intense next step.

Some forearms to the neck keep JBL in trouble and a chop takes him down again. It’s too early for the Sharpshooter though and JBL bails to the floor to hide behind Jillian. Back in and JBL hammers him down in the corner until he misses a charge, allowing Benoit to roll the German suplexes. JBL crotches him on top though and hits the Eddie dance for some good mocking. The superplex brings Benoit down in a crash, allowing JBL to dance some more. He even hits two Amigos before having to boot Benoit in the face to cut off the comeback.

We hit the chinlock but Benoit fights up with more suplexes. The Swan Dive gets a close two but JBL blocks another Crossface attempt. He also blocks a German suplex with a grab of the rope and the referee, allowing him to….actually not cheat. Instead the Clothesline From JBL is countered into the Crossface, which is countered into a cradle (with a grab of the rope) to give JBL the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This has always been a bit of a weird one for me as JBL wasn’t exactly a hot challenger coming in but he did pick up the title, which reheated him in a hurry. He wasn’t going to make it back to the World Title anytime soon (or ever, as he didn’t need it), but he needed to win something instead of losing over and over again. This was good enough though and it’s hardly a stretch to see JBL win a match over Benoit.

We recap Edge vs. Mick Foley. Edge accused Foley of costing him the Raw World Title and wanted to beat him down, so Foley agreed to a fight. Foley wanted that one Wrestlemania moment and Edge is starting to realize that he might be in over his head.

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Hardcore match, Joey Styles joins commentary, Lita is here with Edge and Foley’s flannel shirt is buttoned up for a change. Edge has a bat to start but the early swings miss and Edge drops it to the floor. Foley slugs away in the corner and puts Edge in the Tree of Woe for the running elbow to the face. Lita throws in a metal sign though and it goes upside Foley’s head over and over. The spear hits early….and Edge is in a lot of pain, as Foley opens up the shirt to reveal a band of barbed wire wrapped around his stomach.

Foley cuts himself free and ties Edge in the ropes, meaning it’s time to grab the barbed wire bat. Lita tries for the save so it’s the Cactus Clothesline to Edge, sending all three outside in the process. Foley is certainly bringing it early on. A neckbreaker on the floor drops Edge and Foley pounds him down but his charge is hiptossed into the steps for a REALLY painful looking crash. There go Foley’s knees into the steps and it’s time for a chair. Edge loads up a table on the floor but Foley rolls off before Edge can come off the top.

Instead Edge slams him head first into the steel ramp (for a SICK thud)….and it’s time for the lighter fluid. Edge covers Foley in the fluid but gets piledriven for two. Foley grabs the chair but a Lita distraction lets Edge hit a DDT. Foley is busted and the barbed wire bat to the head makes it even worse. It’s time for the thumbtacks but Foley slams Edge (with no shirt) down onto them for the really big reaction.

A barbed wire Mandible Claw goes on and now it’s Edge being hit with the barbed wire bat over and over. Now it’s time for Foley to spray the table with lighter fluid but Lita hits Foley in the knee with the barbed wire bat. The table is set on fire and Edge hits the spear through the ropes and through the fire for the pin.

Rating: A. What is there to say about this? They massacred each other and Foley bled all over the place before taking a huge bump to end the match. This was a different side of Edge and it’s the side that needed to be shown to make him feel like more than a flash in the pan. This felt like two people wanting to hurt each other and then getting to do so, as Foley continues to know how to make someone into a much bigger star than almost anyone else.

Edge and Lita looking like they’re in physical shock after the match makes it a lot better.

With that out of the way, it’s time for Booker T. and Sharmell to be scared of the Boogeyman. Booker insists that he isn’t a freak magnet and runs into Paul Burchill, Ted DiBiase not letting Eugene dribble a basketball to win money, Snitsky doing…something to Mae Young’s foot as Moolah watches, and Goldust dressed as Oprah. Goldust says they’re all freaks and the only way to beat the Boogeyman is to put the worms in his…and it’s whispered in Booker’s ear. A ticked off Booker leaves with Sharmell.

Some fans won tickets to the show from Snickers.

Booker T./Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

Booker makes Sharmell start, jumps Boogeyman from behind, and then comes in to hammer on Boogeyman. The comeback doesn’t take long and Booker is sent into the post. Boogeyman eats some worms and stares at Sharmell for trying a staff shot to the back. Sharmell gets kissed with the worms and runs off, leaving Boogeyman to chokebomb Booker for the pin.

Rating: F. Of course this is a failure as there isn’t anything to be praised here. It was the three of them doing a short, bad match and the big deal was Sharmell getting a mouth full of worms. There isn’t much else to it than that and the fact that this aired at Wrestlemania at any point after about 1991 tells you why it’s a failure.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James for the Women’s Title. Mickie is a psycho who was obsessed with Trish (they never said the word lesbian but that’s what they were going for) but Trish wasn’t interested. Once Mickie was flat out turned down, she completely snapped and decided to take the Women’s Title instead. This feels like a big fight and that’s a good thing around here.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is defending. They fight over a lockup to start as JR tries to diagnose Mickie’s mental state. The Thesz press (JR: “Maybe the Louise Thesz press.”) puts Mickie down but she comes back with a kick, only to be thrown into the splits. A baseball slide puts Mickie on the floor but Trish kicks the post by mistake. Mickie wraps the leg around the post in a smart move and there’s a dropkick to the knee to make it worse.

The fans get behind Mickie and she wraps the leg around the ropes. The half crab goes on before it’s time to stomp on the leg in the corner. Mickie stops to soak in the cheers and bends the leg some more. This time Trish reverses into the spinning anklescissors but the fans aren’t happy with the comeback. The Stratusphere is countered with another slam of the leg to the mat as Lawler notices that Mickie’s skirt isn’t the most functional in a match.

Trish comes back with a Stratusfaction attempt but Mickie grabs her between the legs (on the Network) and licks her own hand (not on the Network) as JR loses it. Mickie tries the Stratusfaction but she either leaves it short or Trish can’t hold her on the knee, meaning they botch it horribly (also not on the Network). Mickie settles for the Chick Kick for the pin and the title. JR: “THE NUT JOB HAS WON THE TITLE!”

Rating: B-. This was getting really good near the end but then the botch happened and it stopped everything cold. The leg stuff was good and while it would have made more sense to have Trish’s knee give out when she was trying the Stratusfaction, it worked for a story in the match as Mickie knew how to break the thing down. More importantly though, Mickie FINALLY ends Trish’s year long plus reign and becomes the new star, which is long overdue. They needed to have the title change here as Trish had run out of gas a long time ago but it wasn’t like she had anyone good enough to drop it to.

Vince McMahons has the rest of the family drop to their knees in prayer before his match with Shawn. Vince: “God, let’s face it. I don’t like you, and you don’t like me.” Vince praises his own physique and promises to end Shawn.

Mark Henry vs. Undertaker

Casket match and the druids take their time wheeling the casket to ringside. Undertaker does the full entrance and Henry manages to keep glaring at him before jumping him to start things off. Some running clotheslines don’t do much to Henry so he runs Undertaker over with a single shot. They head outside with both guys going head first into the steps. The fans are in am ore traditional role here with the Undertaker cheers, which are cut off when Henry blocks Old School.

A low blow saves Undertaker from going into the casket and now it’s time to go after the arm. Old School connects this time but he still can’t get Henry down. Henry runs him over again but misses the running crotch attack and gets dropped into the casket. Undertaker follows him in and the lid closes before opening up with Undertaker’s hand around Henry’ throat.

They get back inside with Henry hitting the World’s Strongest Slam and covering because he isn’t that bright. Speaking of not that bright, Henry hammers away in the corner but gets planted with the Last Ride. Undertaker throws him onto and over the casket, setting up the Taker Dive (which barely clears the casket). Back in and a pretty impressive Tombstone lets Undertaker put him in the casket for the win.

Rating: D. Another one which didn’t work so well, mainly because there was no drama. Who was believing that Mark Henry was going to be the one to break the Streak? The Taker Dive and Tombstone both looked great but there isn’t much of a way around the fact that it was Mark Henry trying to break the Streak. It had no drama and wasn’t even that long, leaving this near the bottom end of the Streak (at least once it became a big deal).

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon. Shawn told Vince that it was time to get over the Montreal Screwjob and grow up so Vince decided to destroy Shawn once and for all. He has done a great job of making Shawn miserable and now it is time for Shawn to FINALLY get his hands on Vince in a no holds barred match.

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

No Holds Barred and there is a big framed copy of Vince’s Muscle and Fitness Magazine at ringside. Shawn jumps him to start and sends him into JR as the WE WANT BRET chants begin. The framed magazine goes around Vince’s head and Shawn is all ticked off. Cue the Spirit Squad to beat Shawn down though and hit the five man toss into the air. JR: “Someone get the hook!” Shawn gets their megaphone (which is smoking/powdery for some reason) and beats them down though, which sends them off for some reason.

Vince, now bleeding above the eye, gets in a clothesline to take over and it’s time to choke in the corner. The leather belt rips Shawn’s back up and it’s time to choke. Vince actually tunes up the band but Shawn blocks the kick (which had height but was nowhere near the right form) and hammers away. JR: “How are your stock dividends now???” The top rope elbow connects but here’s Shane with a kendo stick to take Shawn down. Always one to rub it in, Vince drops his pants but Shawn puts Shane’s face into it instead, followed by a low blow to Vince.

A clothesline puts Shane on the floor but that’s not enough, as Shawn handcuffs Shane to the rope. The Shane dance sets up a bunch of kendo stick shots to Shane and there’s a heck of a chair shot to Vince’s head. Lawler: “CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN!” Vince is busted open and Shawn tunes up the band….before stopping cold. Instead he goes outside and grabs a ladder, which goes straight into Vince’s forehead.

Shawn still won’t cover as he grabs some trashcans and a table instead, even shoving Shane away to get to them. The trashcan to the head drops Vince again and Shawn goes up the ladder. Then he climbs back down and pulls out the BIG ladder. Shawn climbs again, does the suck it sign, and elbows Vince through the table for the huge crash. Medics bring a stretcher out but Shawn scares them off, stands Vince up, yells a lot, and finishes with the superkick.

Rating: C+. Of course it’s junk as an actual match, but this was exactly what they set it up to be. There is no reason to believe that Vince can hang with Shawn in a regular match so he didn’t really come close. Vince brought in a bunch of people, Shawn beat them up and then the beating began. Shawn destroyed him completely (or at least until the next night on Raw, or maybe a week later if they’re feeling generous) and it made sense. Might have gone a little long, but it was the logical way to go.

Post match Vince is taken out on a stretcher and still flips Shawn off. Cole talks about how Shawn promised to never go back to his old self but did it here. Not exactly, as it was just Shawn being violent and aggressive, which isn’t quite what they were talking about on the way here.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle for the Smackdown World Title. Rey won the Royal Rumble to earn the title shot but Orton talked enough trash to get him to put the shot on the line at No Way Out. Orton cheated to win, but Teddy Long put Rey in the match too, making it a triple threat.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending and POD plays Rey, in an Aztec warrior costume this year, to the ring. Orton jumps Angle with the belt before the bell to start but Angle is right back in with a German suplex to Orton, plus a double German to both of them at once (with Rey flying through the air). An overhead belly to belly takes Orton over as well but Rey sends Angle face first into Orton’s crotch.

Angle is fine enough to send Rey up for a super hurricanrana to Orton before throwing Rey outside. Rey breaks up the ankle lock attempt and kicks Angle in the head for two as the fans are split between Rey and Kurt. The 619 is countered into the ankle lock and Rey taps (less than four minutes in) but the referee is with Orton. The German suplexes take down both challengers and an Angle Slam to the floor drops Rey in a heap. That means an ankle lock to Orton but this time Rey grabs the referee so he can’t see a tap.

Rey Drops the Dime on Angle but gets knocked outside again. The RKO connects for a delayed two on Angle and Randy goes up top, earning himself the running belly to belly superplex. Rey is back in with the springboard seated senton for two more on Angle and Orton is back in to kick Angle to the floor. The powerbomb neckbreaker gets two on Rey but the RKO takes too long, allowing Angle to come back in with the Angle Slam on Orton. Rey slips out of the Angle Slam and armdrags Angle to the floor. That leaves Orton to be dropkicked into the ropes for the 619 into the West Coast Pop for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This is still one of the more perplexing big matches in Wrestlemania history as it had no real structure other than them doing moves to each other. Nothing was built up, nothing set up the finish and Rey just pinned Orton to win. It was fine as it was, but I was expecting a lot more, including more time as it didn’t even last ten minutes.

Post match the Guerreros come out to celebrate with Rey.

JR and the King talk about HHH and John Cena being ready for tonight. They needed two minutes for this instead of the other World Title match? Ah right: they needed to put a bed and pillows in the ring. Great way to use the Wrestlemania time.

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

It’s the annual Playboy match pillow fight so JR talks about Frank Gotch gate records in Chicago during the entrances. They to to the bed to start and then hit the catfighting. Torrie turns the bed over on her and then puts her dog on Candice’s face. Candice loses her dress and then puts on a headscissors over the ropes while bending backwards over the ropes. A middle rope elbow hits Torrie on the bed and it’s time to cut Torrie out of her dress. Candice pulls out her Playboy but gets rolled up for the pin.

Rating: D-. Yeah this happened and that’s about all there is to say about it. They were there to promote Playboy and it worked well enough, even though the Playboy Diva is usually a face and someone who wins but not quite this time around. It wasn’t exactly a match of course, but why would you expect anything else?

We see clips of the Wrestlemania press conference, with HHH saying the match against John Cena will be easy and Cena saying not so fast. HHH won a tournament to get the shot so there isn’t much of a story.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. John Cena

Cena is defending and HHH, sitting on a throne in a Thor/Conan motif (the announcers say Conan but he had a big hammer), rises out from the stage. Cena on the other hand comes out after a gangster video and following an old car, complete with CM Punk as a machine gun toting gangster in one of the more well known Before They Were Famous cameos. Still as close as he ever got to the Wrestlemania main event. We get an old school weapons check as JR puts over the idea of the grunt vs. the seasons, trained professional to give us a good story to the match.

They fight over the arm control to start and Cena is sent into the corner for some frustration. The fans are almost entirely behind HHH here, or at least the loud ones are. The FU doesn’t work and they stare each other down again. Cena is sent outside for a big cheer but he comes back in to slug away. A backdrop gives Cena two and the fisherman’s suplex gets the same.

We’re already into the chinlock as the fans tell Cena that he can’t wrestle. There’s the big whip over the corner to send HHH to the floor and another backdrop puts him on the ramp. Back in and HHH hits the jumping knee for a positive reaction as commentary keeps talking about the crowd reactions. HHH whips him hard into the steps and the fans even pop for him breaking the count.

Back in again and the facebuster into a running clothesline gets two on Cena, with JR calling it a slobberknocker. A pair of neckbreakers gets two more and we hit the neck crank. HHH switches to a sleeper and then a chinlock as JR gets the World Title wrong and has to apologize to Rey Mysterio. Cena fights up and hits his own clothesline before winning the slugout. There’s a powerslam and Cena initiates the finishing sequence but the Shuffle is countered with a spinebuster for two more. Another sleeper is countered into a belly to back suplex and it’s the Shuffle into the STFU.

HHH finally makes the rope and escapes the FU before sending Cena into the referee in the corner. That means a low blow to both of them, meaning HHH can give us the crotch chop. It’s sledgehammer time and Cena is knocked silly for a delayed two. The FU gets the same and the fans are popping hard on these near falls. Cena misses a high crossbody so HHH tries the Pedigree but Cena pulls him into the STFU, even trapping the arm so HHH can’t make the rope. It takes some time but HHH finally taps and Cena retains.

Rating: A-. That’s the ultimate achievement on Raw and the win that Cena really needed to become THE guy. He had been champion for almost a year straight but still felt somewhat like someone who hadn’t made it all the way to the top yet. Cena had been the guy, but he wasn’t THE guy until this one and that’s a big change.

The match itself was great as you would expect from these two on the big stage. They played up the idea that Cena was in over his head but ground out another win as he tends to do. Cena was getting better at the big matches around this point and of course that would become one of his calling cards down the line. This worked well and felt like a Wrestlemania main event as the company is now Cena’s, which is what matters most.

The celebration and five minute highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B-. Just like it did in the buildup, Raw annihilated Smackdown here with the two matches that made the show and a lot of other good stuff in between (plus winning Money in the Bank). Edge vs. Foley and the main event certainly deliver, but the rest of the show isn’t anything great. There are some really bad parts on here but the rest is good enough. That may sound good, but I’d like a little more than “good enough” for Wrestlemania.

The biggest problem here is that there really aren’t many blow away moments. Cena winning was more of a long term deal, Rey winning the title felt more like Eddie’s big farewell, Money in the Bank is all about the future and Trish finally losing is hardly top tier stuff. Shawn getting the win against Vince was nice to see, but that middle finger after the match doesn’t make it seem like a blowoff. The problem here is Smackdown, as there wasn’t much of note other than Rey’s title win. It was a one sided show between the two brands and when the show is built around both, it doesn’t work so well, Good, but forgettable.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 17, 2010
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 11,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Guest Host: Buzz Aldrin

This is a requested show, mainly because it features quite the Canadian cast of stars in Toronto. That should be enough to make things interesting, but we’re also in the Bret Hart Era, as he showed up again back in January and just kind of stayed. We could be in for a fun time, as I have almost no memory of this time. Let’s get to it.

As a bonus, this show is commercial free.

Opening sequence. Dang I miss Nickelback. Yeah I said it.

Here is Bret Hart to get things going and yeah the fans seem to like him (the Blue Jays jersey probably helps). Last week Hart heard Miz challenge him to a US Title match here in Toronto and he doesn’t take challenges lightly. He called headquarters and said book the match but now he’s had a week to think about it. There are so many old wrestlers who keep hanging around long past their time and he doesn’t want to be one, so the match is off.

Cue Chris Jericho to interrupt and he wants to know why Hart came back. Hart can’t fool him because all Jericho sees is a pathetic has been. Jericho doesn’t think Hart cares about closure and he’s only back here because he’s a big phony. Hart deserved to get screwed in Montreal, but Hart asks Jericho when he last looked in a mirror. What Hart remembers is Jericho learning in the Hart Dungeon but he was more often up getting a drink instead of training.

Jericho is the one who needs to take a good look at himself, but Jericho says he did that earlier and saw a man better than Hart ever was. Jericho thinks Hart is out here to hear the fans cheer for him one more time, but the reality is Hart doesn’t matter. To all of Hart’s new fans…..pause for a pro-Bret chant…..the reality is the Hart name means nothing anymore. Stu Hart would be ashamed of his son.

Jericho goes to leave, but Hart says tell Miz to get his boots on because he has a match tonight. That makes Jericho chuckle because he thinks Hart will try to get himself disqualified, so the match should be No DQ. Works for Hart, who also promises that the Hart Dynasty is going to beat Jericho and Miz on Sunday at Over The Limit. This felt like a way to have Jericho and Hart together in the ring and….yeah that works.

Great Khali hates rental cars. Hornswoggle is in a Hummer. It’s a WWEshop ad.

Here is Edge for a chat before his name. He talks about the people Randy Orton has been RKOing in recent weeks but gets cut off by Orton’s handpicked opponent for later tonight (with Edge getting to pick Orton’s later).

Edge vs. Christian

They take their time to start with a lockup going nowhere, leaving Edge looking rather confused. Christian takes him down again and we have another standoff. Edge slaps him in the face and bails to the floor to start the chase. Back in and Edge hammers away to take over, only to have Christian hit him in the face a few times. Christian sends him outside though and hits a slingshot neck snap, setting up the springboard dive to the floor.

Christian’s charge hits the barricade though and he barely beats the count back in. Back in and Edge grabs the armbar before knocking Christian down to cut off the comeback attempt. The armbar goes on again, only to have Edge switch to a simple pull on the arm. Christian fights up but can’t hit the pendulum kick in the corner. Edge catches him on top but a superplex attempt is countered into a tornado DDT for two.

The Killswitch is countered so Christian hits him in the face instead. Christian’s top rope splash misses and Edge sends him hard into the corner. The spear misses for Edge though and Christian hits the pendulum kick. The Killswitch still doesn’t work though as Christian’s arm gives out, with Edge sending it hard into the post. Now the spear can give Edge the pin.

Rating: B. Yeah of course these two are going to be able to have a good match with each other in their sleep. It helps when they’ve known each other for the better part of ever and they had the time to put together something solid. This felt like a showdown and they beat each other up with Edge picking the arm apart and finishing him off.

Post match Randy Orton pops up on screen to say he isn’t sure why Christian was out there, because that wasn’t Edge’s opponent. Here’s Orton’s pick to face Edge.

Edge vs. Undertaker

Edge immediately bails to the apron and yeah he’ll just take the countout.

Post match Christian throws Edge in and there’s the chokeslam.

Maryse is not happy with Trish Stratus being on the cover of a magazine because Trish is no celebrity. She also mocks Divas Champion Eve Torres, who shows up to pour powder over Maryse. The brawl is on with Maryse being left laying.

Buzz Aldrin and his wife are here when Vickie Guerrero comes in to introduce herself. There’s just one problem: the Aldrins are in her office. Aldrin talks about walking on the moon and compares it to Vickie walking out as GM of Raw. Actually her replacement will be here next week! Aldrin tries to show her some app on his phone but Vickie doesn’t care. That’s fine with him, as he has the Bella Twins come in and get rid of her. My goodness I forgot how worthless this whole concept really was.

We look at Batista attacking Mark Henry with a chair last week and putting him in something like the Rings of Saturn.

Mark Henry vs. Batista

Henry’s shoulder is taped up and Batista jumps him from behind with a 2×4. The shoulder is sent into the post and Batista steps onto Henry to get in the ring. Batista demands and receives a spotlight. Posing ensues and no match.

We look at the history between Sheamus and John Cena.

Ted DiBiase vs. Yoshi Tatsu

DiBiase brings out VIRGIL as his bodyguard as he is getting to throw his money around. Tatsu starts fast with an armdrag into a dropkick for two but gets driven into the corner. A big gutbuster takes Tatsu down though and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up and Tatsu kicks him in the face, then does it to the chest for two. Back up and Tatsu misses another shot and walks into Dream Street for the pin.

Rating: C-. You can consider a lot of factors about why DiBiase’s time in WWE didn’t go well, but at the end of the day, he just wasn’t that interesting. He has average size, a generic look and nothing special in the ring. Other than his father, what was there that made him stand out in any way?

Post match DiBiase calls out R-Truth (who turned down the chance to be DiBiase’s “Virgil”) and says the person who has no problem with being the new Virgil is the original Virgil. DiBiase says he if can’t buy it, he’ll beat it, including R-Truth at Over The Limit.

Chris Jericho gives Miz a pep talk and Miz is NOT answering questions. Instead, Miz talks about how you don’t see a national hero coming back again but Miz is ready to beat him. Miz walks into the arena and promises to embarrass both Bret Hart and the Hart Family name. He promises to make Hart scream and tap out to the Sharpshooter, just to make it personal.

US Title: Miz vs. Bret Hart

Hart is challenging and this is No DQ/No Countout. Miz immediately bails out to the floor and says he doesn’t trust Hart, who would bring in the Hart Dynasty. Cue Vladimir Kozlov and William Regal, who have been paid to deal with them. Indeed cue the Hart Dynasty to brawl with them to the back so cue Chris Jericho, with Natalya coming in to even things up a bit. A slap drops Jericho but he’s back up to deck Hart. David Hart-Smith is back in to help make the save but Miz loads up a Sharpshooter. Tyson Kidd runs in to break that up and it’s a Hart Attack into the Sharpshooter to make Hart champion.

Rating: C. Obviously this was more of an angle than a match and there’s nothing wrong with that. Hart gets one more title win, even a token one, and it was a nice feeling in his home country. It also furthers the Dynasty vs. Jericho/Miz so it’s not like anything was terribly hurt. This went fine and they got out of there quickly, which always helps.

Hart and his family get to celebrate a bit.

Money In The Bank is getting its own pay per view.

We look at John Cena winning a Beat The Clock Challenge a few weeks ago, meaning he got to pick the stipulation for his match with Batista at Over The Limit. Then Sheamus jumped him from behind to lay him out.

We get a message from our sponsor: Santino Marella, parodying a Dos Equis beer commercial.

Laycool/Maryse vs. Bella Twins/Eve Torres

Layla (the real one) and McCool both have Women’s Titles. After a near brawl before the bell, Layla grabs a headlock on Eve to start before sweeping the legs and getting two off a rollup. Eve is right back with a neckbreaker for two and it’s Brie coming in, with Layla rolling her up for two. McCool gets in a cheap shot to take over and then comes in for some knees to the ribs. Layla misses a legdrop though and Nikki comes in…as McCool pulls her over the top. A monkey flip and Hennig necksnap get two on McCool but Maryse comes in with the French Kiss (DDT) to finish Nikki.

Rating: C-. To say the women’s division was not doing great around this time would be an understatement, and that almost non-existent crowd reaction didn’t make it much better. They did feel like they were trying and it helped, but there is only so much you can do to overcome these problems. It felt like they were going over every piece of their script and that doesn’t make for the best match.

Post match Maryse and Eve have to be held apart.

John Cena isn’t worried about his critics because he would rather speak to those who still support him. He and the Cenation have tasted victory and defeat but he has never not delivered on a promise. Tonight he is ready to take Sheamus out and then he will go on to face Batista in an I Quit match at Over The Limit. If Batista can make him quit, there will be no rematch because the champion should not be a quitter. Batista has hurt him before but Batista can’t make him quit. At Over The Limit, Batista will quit and the champ will be here.

Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger

This is Edge’s pick to face Orton and Swagger’s World Heavyweight Title isn’t on the line. Michael Cole lists off Swagger’s talents, including being a Scrabble champion. Orton takes him down to start and Swagger is already thinking twice about this. Orton’s backbreaker has Swagger down and we hit the slow motion stomp. The big knee misses though and Swagger hits a clothesline for two.

Orton fights out of a chinlock and Orton starts the comeback but Swagger bails to the floor. Back in and Swagger snaps off a belly to belly, setting up the running Vader Bomb. Swagger takes him outside to keep up the beating before grabbing another chinlock back inside. Orton fights up again and kicks him away, followed by the snap powerslam. Now the hanging DDT can connect and Orton loads up the RKO, only to have Edge come in for the DQ.

Rating: C. The only thing this match did was remind me how awful Swagger was as champion. It wasn’t so much that he wasn’t skilled, but he felt completely out of place in this role and very far in over his head. Orton never felt like he was in serious trouble and that shouldn’t be the case against the World Champion.

Post match it’s an RKO to Swagger but Edge spears Orton down.

Over The Limit rundown.

Here is Buzz Aldrin for a chat. He’s happy to be here and talks about liking Swagger vs. Orton. Over the last few years, he’s been trying to make the space program better and we need new rockets and spacecraft. Canada has done some wonderful things as well, including building the landing gear on the craft he and Neil Armstrong used to land on the moon.

Finally Zack Ryder and Alicia Fox interrupt, with Ryder mocking Canada and their love of moose meat. Ryder implies that the moon landing was faked and we see a clip of Aldrin punching someone who said the same thing. Aldrin says he won’t pound Ryder…and we awkwardly pause until Evan Bourne and Gail Kim interrupt. Thankfully the match starts to wrap this up, as Aldrin was completely out of place here. That being said, who in the world thought he was a good choice to be in this spot?

Evan Bourne/Gail Kim vs. Zack Ryder/Alicia Fox

Bourne chops away to start and gets one off a sunset flip. Ryder comes back with a swinging neckbreaker as commentary mocks almost everything Aldrin was talking about and reference space movies. Everything breaks down and Kim hits a missile dropkick for two on Fox. Back up and Fox sends her to the floor as we talk about Aldrin on Dancing With The Stars. The neck crank doesn’t last long as it’s Ryder snapping off a running hurricanrana to Ryder. Fox breaks up the shooting star press, leaving Kim to hit Eat Defeat for the pin.

Rating: C-. Well, at least it was better than Aldrin. This was a rather out of nowhere tag match and save for maybe a brief feud, there was little reason to see these people fighting. As for Aldrin…yeah I’m not sure what they were thinking. He’s a celebrity but that doesn’t mean he belongs on a wrestling show. I don’t get the point of this, but that was the case with almost the entirety of the guest host period.

Post match Aldrin gets in to celebrate and even does something close to a moon walk.

Another ad, this one with Goldust as a blind date.

Sheamus vs. John Cena

Non-title. They start slowly with Sheamus taking him into the corner and stomping away. Cena shrugs that off and they head outside, where Sheamus is sent hard into the steps. Back up and Sheamus sends him into the barricade and they head back inside, where Sheamus gets to slowly hammer away. A suplex gets Cena out of trouble and he sends Sheamus into the post for another crash outside.

Back in and the AA attempt is countered so Cena settles for the ProtoBomb. Sheamus is back up to knock him to the apron for a running knee, which works so well that he does it again. Cena gets back in but the running bulldog is shrugged off. Sheamus slowly hammers away until Cena manages the flying shoulder to start the comeback. The threat of the AA has Sheamus grabbing the ropes but Batista runs in to jump Cena for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was better than almost anything else on the show and it shouldn’t be a surprise. Cena works well against power brawlers and that’s what you got to see here, as Sheamus continues to be someone Cena just can’t pin. It might not have been a classic, but it was a hard hitting brawl at the end of a not so great show and I’ll certainly take that here.

Post match Batista lays Cena out with a pair of spinebusters and grabs something like the Rings of Saturn to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The opener and the Hart stuff made this work as well as it did, but egads this era does not hold up well. For the parts that do work, there are even more things that miss almost entirely, like the Aldrin stuff (including the tag match), DiBiase and the women’s match. There is a reason you do not hear this period talked about very often and this was a good illustration of why that is the case.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Great American Bash 2008
Date: July 20, 2008
Location: Nassau Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 12,454
Commentators: Jim Ross, Mick Foley, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Mike Adamle

We’re wrapping up the period before the Summerslam build here and the card is one sided to put it mildly. The Smackdown side is pretty much Edge challenging HHH for the Smackdown World Title, plus a four way Tag Team Title match. On the other side, Raw has John Cena vs. JBL in a parking lot fight, CM Punk defending the Raw World Title against Batista and Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho in a grudge match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Vickie Guerrero and Edge’s wedding, plus HHH revealing that Edge cheated on her the night before to end Smackdown. The other big matches get some attention of their own.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Edgeheads vs. Miz/John Morrison vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle vs. Jesse and Festus

Miz and Morrison are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Festus clears the ring as tends to be his custom before Hornswoggle comes in for a stare…uh, up. Hornswoggle rolls up his sleeves but opts to dive onto Miz and Morrison instead. We settle down to Jesse monkey flipping Miz and knocking him down again for two. Festus beats on Miz as well before handing it off to Finlay. Morrison comes in and actually takes over on Finlay before bringing Miz back in for a chinlock.

It’s back to Morrison for his own chinlock as JR continues his Morrison to Rick Rude comparisons. Finlay fights up and double legs Miz down before doing the same thing to beat on Morrison. They collide in the corner so Ryder tags himself in to hammer Finlay down. The neck crank doesn’t last long on Finlay so Hawkins comes in to keep Finlay in trouble.

The Celtic Cross hits Hawkins and a shillelagh shot gets two, with Miz and Morrison making the save. Hawkins grabs a chinlock but Finlay is back up again, this time getting over to Hornswoggle to pick up the pace. Jesse tags himself in just as fast though and the fans are not pleased with the lack of Hornswoggle. Hawkins comes back in for a cheap shot on Hornswoggle but it’s back to Festus to really clean house. Miz and Morrison are sent outside and Hawkins breaks up the Rocket Launcher to pin Jesse and win the titles.

Rating: C+. It was a fast paced opener with a bunch of moving parts but they managed to keep the focus on just a few people at a time until the ending. Hawkins and Ryder winning the titles is the right way to go as Miz and Morrison have gotten everything they can out of them and La Familia is still the biggest thing on Smackdown. Give the team some more gold, as it’s not like Jesse and Festus or Hornswoggle/Finlay are worth anything.

US Title: Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Hardy is defending and is quickly taken to the mat to start. A small package gives Hardy two as well as a breather but Benjamin is right back with a headlock. That’s reversed into an armbar as they’re certainly starting slowly. Benjamin sends him to the apron for a ram into the post, setting up the armbar back inside. A gutbuster sets up the seated abdominal stretch as commentary talks about Benjamin’s aggression, despite there being nothing to suggest it exists here.

Hardy fights up and tries a Side Effect but gets planted with something like an STO. Back up and Hardy blocks Paydirt to start the comeback and hits the bulldog out of the corner. Hardy’s middle rope hurricanrana is countered into a heck of a buckle bomb and they’re both down. A Side Effect gives Hardy two but the moonsault…I think it was supposed to hit knees but Hardy overshot it anyway. Paydirt gives Benjamin the pin and the title.

Rating: C. The match was far from bad, but it wasn’t exactly thrilling, as it came off as more of a house show match. The ending didn’t help things either as commentary had to scramble to cover Hardy missing. It’s not like hardy was doing anything with the title anyway so switching it over to Benjamin works as well as anything else.

We see an interview from Monday, with CM Punk talking about how he’s always been the underdog. It’s not about your size or muscle and he’s in the business of proving everyone wrong, which is what he’s always done.

We look at HHH revealing that Edge cheated on Vickie Guerrero the day before their wedding.

ECW Title: Mark Henry vs. Tommy Dreamer

Henry is defending and has Tony Atlas in his corner while Dreamer has Colin Delaney. Dreamer charges at him and is quickly shoved into the corner, with Henry throwing him around again for a bonus. A hard clothesline puts Dreamer down again and Henry steps on his head as a few BORING chants start up.

Henry works on the arm (which is code for he leans over and grabs the wrist), Dreamer fights up, Henry takes him down and works on the arm again. The splash misses though and Dreamer hits the basement dropkick but has to escape the World’s Strongest Slam. The DDT puts Henry down and Dreamer goes up for no apparent reason, allowing Delaney to pull him down. Henry hits the World’s Strongest Slam to retain.

Rating: D+. This was a good example of everything that is wrong with ECW. First of all, there was no reason to believe Dreamer was going to take the title. He hasn’t been nearly that important for a long time now and it wasn’t going to change here. Second, the Delaney turn doesn’t mean much as he’s a loser who didn’t exactly become a star when he was with Dreamer. Third, the match was really boring, which is quite ECW in a lot of ways. Rather dull stuff here and by far the worst thing on the show.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels, and thank goodness as the show needs it. Jericho claimed Michaels is a hypocrite (and was kind of right) and then took out his eye. Now Michaels is back for revenge and to prove that no matter what Jericho does, Michaels will always be better.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

They lock up to start and thankfully drop that in all of two seconds to start hitting each other in the face. Shawn gets the better of things with some chops and knocks Jericho into the corner before going after the leg. The reverse Figure Four has Jericho in early trouble but he’s in the ropes pretty quickly. Shawn stays on the leg and the referee stops things for a second to check on Jericho in the corner.

Jericho is fine enough to send Shawn over the corner and out to the apron, with Shawn favoring his back. The knee is fine enough to hit a triangle dropkick out to the floor before Jericho takes him inside for a double arm crank. With that broken up, Jericho dives into an atomic drop and Shawn drops him with the flying forearm. Shawn nips up but Jericho pulls him straight into the Walls, which is counter you don’t see very often.

This time Shawn makes the rope so Jericho loads up the bulldog, only to get dropped with a clothesline for two. The top rope elbow is broken up but Shawn wins a fight on top and now the elbow connects. Cue Lance Cade to break up the superkick but Shawn blocks the Codebreaker. They slug it out again until Shawn hiptosses him out onto Cade for the big crash. Naturally Shawn is right there with a moonsault onto the two of them and everyone is down again.

Back in and Shawn’s bad eye is busted open, with commentary not being sure when it was cut. Naturally Jericho goes right after the eye and knocks him into the ropes, where Cade gets in the cheap shot. The very bloody Shawn manages to pull him into a crossface but Jericho pulls him into the buckle for the violent escape. The referee wants to stop it but Shawn begs him not to, meaning Jericho is right back on the eye. Shawn is COVERED in blood and does the “pull myself up on the other guy’s tights” spot, only to have Jericho punch him down again and hammer away….until the referee finally stops it.

Rating: B+. This took some time to get going but there is almost no one better than Shawn at making you think he was dying in front of your eyes. Shawn was trying to fight and was still in there until the injury flared up again, along with Cade offering the distraction. This felt like the big middle piece in a bigger story and they pulled me in with the emotion and hatred. Awesome match and we’re almost certainly not done yet.

We get the emotional exit for Shawn, who has to be helped out.

Edge is really not pleased with HHH for violating his privacy and taking away his personal life. All Edge has left is his professional life and tonight, he will be extra dangerous.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya

For the inaugural title but commentary is to busy talking about Edge/Vickie Guerrero. They grapple to the mat to start as commentary compares McCool to softball star Jennie Finch. Natalya wheelbarrow drops her throat first over the top to take over and we hit the surfboard to stay on McCool’s….well various parts. McCool powers out so Natalya switches to the Sharpshooter. That’s broken up as well and this time McCool pulls her into the heel hook for the title.

Rating: C-. These two were in the death slot as there was almost no way they were going to be able to follow the previous match. It doesn’t help that the match was almost a Natalya squash until McCool got in her one hold for the win. It’s rather nice for the women on Smackdown to have something to do, but they could use some more blood in the division or it is going to turn old fast.

Post match here is Chris Jericho to interrupt, saying you need to save your ticket stubs because this is the night of Shawn Michaels’ last match. Shawn has a detached retina and that means his career is over. It shows that the good guys win and the wicked are punished and the worst has finally come for Shawn. Jericho was feeling the evil here and it worked.

We recap CM Punk defending the World Title against Batista. Punk won Money In The Bank and used it to become champion, meaning he needs to prove himself worthy. Batista doesn’t seem to be overly intimidated so Punk is extra motivated.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. CM Punk

Punk is defending and we go old school with a weapons check. Batista powers him around to start and Punk realizes he might need another plan. Some kicks to the legs slow Batista down but he elbows Punk in the face to cut him off. An enziguri knocks Batista outside and Punk follows him outside with a suicide dive.

Back in and Punk strikes away, only to be run over to give Batista two. The camel clutch goes on to keep Punk in trouble, which is broken up as camel clutches tend to be. Punk gets up a shot to the face in the corner and hits a high crossbody for two. The Batista Bomb is countered but a powerslam isn’t, meaning Punk has to counter the Bomb again.

Punk hits the running knee in the corner but can’t hit the GTS, instead settling for the springboard clothesline. The Anaconda Vice (been a minute since Punk used that) is broken up and Batista hits a heck of a clothesline. Batista’s charge hits the post and he falls outside, where he is able to catch a diving Punk with a spinebuster. Cue Kane to jump Batista for the DQ.

Rating: C+. They were starting to get somewhere but then just stopped for the DQ ending. This is either setting up a triple threat (erg) or Punk vs. Batista II, but Punk needs to win something on a big stage. It was bad enough that he got the title via Money In The Bank, but he’s lucky to crack the top five stars on Raw. This didn’t help things, though I guess Batista needed to be kept strong. Granted that makes me wonder why he was in the match in the first place, but I can picture Vince’s “oh it’s fine” face from here so we’ll move o.

Post match Kane lays out Punk, Batista, and a production worker. With Kane gone, Batista hits the Batista Bomb on Punk to make things even worse for the champ. Somehow this is a double DQ, despite Kane not touching Punk before the bell.

We recap John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield. With Vince McMahon gone, JBL has declared martial law but Cena isn’t having it. Now they’re going to fight in a parking lot.

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This is taking place in the parking lot in a circle of cars and JBL shows up in his limo, fighting in most of a suit. There’s no Cena to start so JBL gets on a hood, only to have Cena pop up in another car and ram into him. Cena chokes him with a cord and then slams a car hood onto JBL’s back. Some jumper cables to the crotch set up some electrocution and JBL screams a lot.

JBL is put on another hood and Cena throws a well placed keg, only to hit windshield. With JBL trying to drive away, Cena grabs him for some rams into the horn. JBL fights back to little avail but manages to whip Cena through a car door, knocking it off the hinges. Cena gets punched off a car for two and then sent through the windshield of another for the big crash.

A crowbar shot misses for JBL and Cena slugs away but JBL sends him through a window. With nothing else working, JBL goes to grab some gasoline (with his limo rolling away) and douses one of the cars (with Cena inside). The car is lit on fire and promptly extinguished, with an annoyed looking Cena getting out. JBL goes over to a forklift but Cena is there to send him into another car.

Now Cena gets in the forklift and gores said car, only to lift it up and carry it into the arena. Commentary kicks in as Cena knocks JBL around and plants him with the ProtoBomb onto the stage. Cena loads up the FU but walks JBL over to the edge of the stage, only to take too long as JBL slips off. JBL sends him off the stage and through a windshield for the upset win.

Rating: C-. This was quite the situation and I wasn’t wild on most of it. They had a bunch of slow brawling in the back with car stuff before coming to the arena for a few minutes. JBL had to get a win of some sort but egads this means we’re going to have to hear him talk even more, which is about as painful of a thought as I can imagine. Not exactly great here, but what are you expecting from JBL?

We recap Edge vs. HHH for the latter’s Smackdown World Title. Vickie Guerrero gave Edge the title shot before their wedding but then Edge cheated on her the day before said wedding, with HHH revealing Edge’s, uh, indiscretion. Now it’s about the title, though Edge is more than a bit distracted.

HHH has no regrets over what he did.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Edge

HHH is defending and we get the Big Match Intros with a weapons check. Edge charges right at him and hammers away but gets sent outside. HHH sends him outside and grabs a neck snap across the top. A ram int the buckle has Edge on the floor again but he knocks a diving HHH out of the air. Back in and Edge hits the running shoulder in the corner before sending him outside for a whip into the steps.

A drop onto the announcers’ table keeps HHH’s ribs in trouble and Edge grabs a bodyscissors back inside. HHH fights up but gets dropkicked to the apron, where he sidesteps a spear to send Edge crashing to the floor. Back in and HHH slugs away before they go outside (again) with Edge going into the post. Edge is right back up though and grabs the Impaler on the floor, which means a rather delayed cover gets two.

HHH hits his own DDT for his own two but the Pedigree is countered into the Edge-O-Matic. The spear only hits buckle but Edge’s big boot only hits HHH’s jaw, leaving them both down again. Back up and the spear is countered into the spinebuster to give HHH a much needed breather. The Pedigree is countered again, this time with a ram into the corner. Edge takes him up top for a superplex but here is wedding planner Alicia Fox to send in the title. Cue Vickie Guerrero to take Alicia down and the catfight is on in the ring. The spear hits Vickie by mistake, allowing HHH to grab the Pedigree for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. It was good but they never came close to hitting that really high level. At the same time, it didn’t help that this was more about the Vickie/Edge stuff, with the title just kind of being there on the side. These two feel like they should have had their first big match on a more important show, but at least what they got to do here did work. It just could have been a pretty good bit better.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a perfectly fine show that should have been better than it was. There were some big matches on the card and those matches worked, but the lower card stuff is completely forgettable, even with three new champions being crowned. It’s a show where things happened, but it’s not a show that felt important. Instead, it came off like a “the big one is next time”, which doesn’t make for the most enjoyable event.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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