Impact Wrestling – July 12, 2016: I Needed A Break

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 12, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s Destination X and that means title for title with World Champion Lashley facing X-Division Champion Eddie Edwards in a winner take all match. Mike Bennett has promised to ruin the whole thing though and there’s also the possibility that Maria Kanellis will do something to further her issues with Dixie Carter. Let’s get to it.

We open with Final Deletion clips, including Jeff Hardy waking up. Matt goes down to the boat and names it Scarsguard as a thank you for saving him last week. Matt takes it out into the water with a bag containing Jeff’s remnants but the drone comes out, carrying the shirt Jeff was wearing to complete the package. Naturally this is continuing.

Braxton Sutter vs. DJZ vs. Rockstar Spud vs. Trevor Lee vs. Andrew Everett vs. Mandrews

Ladder match for the #1 contendership to the X-Division Title because it’s time for the usual suspects to be thrown into a mess of a match so they don’t have to develop in the slightest. Mandrews dives onto the Helms Dynasty as they come to the ring with DJZ doing the same thing for a big crash. DJZ stops Mandrews from grabbing the X but Sutter stops DJZ just as quickly.

Trevor goes for the belt on two ladders but they’re pulled away, forcing him into the splits for a new idea. Spud takes down a bunch of people with a chair but gets kicked in the head. A Sutter powerbomb knocks Lee silly, only to have Spud take him down with a belt to the back. We get the traditional Shane Helms interference to stop DJZ going for the belt, only to have DJZ shove the ladder over with Everett go crashing into the pile. DJZ pulls down the X to win at 5:55.

Rating: C. More of the same from the X-Division with a bunch of bodies flying around and no characters for the most part. It’s basically the second time they’ve done this same match in two weeks after the Ultimate X match last week. Is it too much to ask to go a month or two between “go grab something” matches?

DJZ is proud of his win and promises to go win the title when Mike Bennett jumps him from behind.

Ethan Carter III is ready to fight Drew Galloway because talking is over.

Dixie Carter says they’re moving back “home” to Thursday nights next week with the start of the Bound For Glory Playoffs.

Eddie Edwards and Lashley are in the ring for a face to face showdown. Lashley says the World Title is the heart of Impact Wrestling and he’s the top of the food chain. All Eddie has done is tick him off but Edwards says he’s going to walk out World Champion. Lashley says this isn’t a movie (True. That would be Final Deletion.) and the underdog doesn’t win. The X-Division Title is real life but Lashley beats him down when the Wolves Nation is mentioned for the first time (Good. That name has always sounded stupid.). The spear puts Eddie down and Lashley gets a chair, only to have Davey Richards return for the save.

Abyss has to choke Crazy Steve to calm him down as Steve is losing his mind about Rosemary kissing Bram last week. Tonight Abyss can take care of Bram and everything will be beautiful again.

Back at Matt’s house, he’s invited guests to his private movie theater to watch the Final Deletion. In another room, Reby pulls a book from the wall to open the door to Maxill’s room. She picks up the baby and drops down a fireman’s pole into the theater as we see the family and guests watch last week’s events. More is promised, which means I’ll get another week of being called stupid for not hailing this as the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.

Abyss vs. Bram

Abyss hits some right hands to the ribs in the corner to start before sending him out to the floor for a crash. Steve pulls Bram’s hair out but Bram comes back with some right hands of his own. A chokeslam cuts off a comeback but here’s Rosemary to check on Bram. The distraction lets Bram roll Abyss up for the pin at 4:05.

Rating: D. It was about time to screw with the Decay as the Wolves are apparently back and it’s time to put the titles on them again because they’re the most amazing team in the history of ever and we don’t want Decay getting any more traction than they already have. That’s TNA’s take on things: don’t let anything but the old standard get too big because that might let them go somewhere and that just isn’t how TNA wants things go work. The match was nothing of course.

Knockouts Title: Jade vs. Marti Bell vs. Gail Kim vs. Sienna

Is this the entire division at the moment? Sienna is defending and Gail jumps her on the ramp because this is basically two singles matches at once. Gail is discarded (Don’t worry. She’ll be back to save the division soon enough.) so Sienna can stomp on Marti as Josh promises MORE from Matt’s house at dinner last night.

Marti gets two on Sienna with Gail making the save, followed by a quick Tower of Doom. Jade and Gail dive onto the heels before slugging it out in the ring. Gail avoids a Pele and gets two off a backsplash. All four are back in now with Marti hitting a Pedigree on Jade. Eat Defeat drops Marti but Sienna Pounces Gail to retain at 5:10.

Rating: D. Another four way with no characters, the same moves over and over and Gail Kim being involved because screw “the division”, it’s all about promoting her. We’re just waiting to see her enshrined at this point and probably winning the title back at Bound For Glory so everything can be right.

Matt and his family had dinner and it’s all bizarre and weird and Matt speaks Spanish and it’s not funny or interesting and I don’t care if I’m stupid for not getting it. Next.

Lashley wants Davey Richards at ringside for the title match tonight.

We see the end of the Final Deletion. Again.

Here are Matt and Reby to brag about their win last week. Matt has DELETED Jeff, who Reby brings out and shouts OBSOLETE over and over. Apparently Matt wants to keep Jeff around and bleed every dollar out of him by making him his mule. DELETE DELETE DELETE. Oh yeah this is continuing until Bound For Glory and probably beyond.

DJZ wants Mike Bennett in the ring tonight.

Mike Bennett vs. DJZ

Mike runs him over to start but DJZ fires off right hands. Those go nowhere because he’s a lowly X-Division wrestler and can’t fight a heavyweight. A spinebuster gets two and we hit a chinlock for a few moments. DJZ fights up and headscissors him out to the floor for a flip dive. That’s enough for Bennett as he tries to walk up the ramp, only to be cut off by the X-Division. The distraction lets DJZ grab a rollup for the pin at 5:45.

Rating: D+. There’s your token pin because the X-Division actually matters tonight. The pinfall is nice but I have no reason to believe this is actually going to stick. You know, like it never actually does in TNA. Nothing to see here but that’s almost always the case in TNA around Destination X time.

Post match Bennett yells about wanting to ruin Destination X because that win really didn’t mean much. He promises to burn this place to the ground.

Drew Galloway wants to fight.

Bennett is on the phone and tells someone to get here tonight so they can burn it to the ground.

Here’s Galloway to call Ethan out for a fight, as in not a match. Ethan is ready go to as well and it’s on in a hurry. Drew takes it to the floor but gets suplexed. They trade some chops and Ethan pelts him with a chair. They fight backstage with Ethan getting the better of it until a bunch of people break it up.

Davey tapes up Eddie’s hands for the main event.

X-Division Title/TNA World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Lashley

Both titles are on the line. Lashley shoves him around to start but his suplex is countered into a sleeper. That goes as far as your average sleeper is going to take you so Lashley sends him outside for a suplex on the ramp. Eddie is sent into the steps and we take a break.

Back with Lashley beating Eddie in the corner and choking on the mat until Eddie fights up with a tornado DDT. A low bridge sends Lashley to the floor and there are three straight suicide dives. Back in and Eddie gets two off a sitout spinebuster before kicking Lashley in the eye.

Eddie tries the Boston Knee Party but gets caught in a powerslam with the referee getting bumped. Lashley grabs a chair so here’s Davey for the superkick/brainbuster combo and a near fall. Cue Mike Bennett but MOOSE makes his debut (complete with the Moose name and cool entrance music) to lay out Davey. We’ll call it a no contest at about 15:00.

Rating: B-. As usual, TNA is mostly fine between the bells and only lacks in the story departments. The match was good with a power vs. speed formula that works almost every single time. Eddie is more than good enough in the ring to fight off a monster like Lashley and the ending is intriguing stuff with a big name debuting. Good stuff here and a worthy main event.

Post match Bennett hits Lashley low, allowing Moose to take Lashley out as well.

And now, here’s Dixie Carter to end the show. The fans deserve a winner so there’s a rematch inside Six Sides of Steel with both titles on the line. To recap: a major name just debuted and we wrap it up with Dixie Carter.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a very, very tricky one to grade as I actually had to stop watching for about forty minutes before I went insane. The first half of this show was every single problem TNA had rolled into a single show:

1. X-Division/Knockouts clearly having no effort put in. It’s “here’s the entire division in one match with no characters or story”, just like it’s been for months if not years. The wrestling itself was fine (or as fine as you’re going to get in two matches combining to go ten minutes) but the lack of character development is killing them more and more every single time. There’s nothing different about these people and it shows when they’re thrown out there in one big mess of a match almost every time.

2. Dixie with her “we’re going home” speech. I can’t stand her more and more every time I see her.

3. Matt Hardy all over the show. We’ve seen that clip so many times and it’s being driven into the ground. The feud is clearly continuing and it’s going to be more of the same. If you like it then great, but if you don’t like it, prepare to be stuck sitting there all night long because it’s not going away.

4. TNA fans are going to spend the next week explaining to me about how amazing this was and how stupid I am for disagreeing.

Now that being said, the second half was MUCH better with the wrestling and stories being improvements with characters doing things that make sense for them. The main event was a perfectly acceptable use of the last segment with a new name debuting and a good match building towards it. That’s all well and good, but TNA just has so much bad that drags the good down and there’s almost nothing in the middle. It’s either horrible or good and that gets old in a hurry.

Results

DJZ b. Braxton Sutter, Rockstar Spud, Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett and Mandrews – DJZ pulled down the X

Bram b. Abyss – Rollup

Sienna b. Gail Kim, Jade and Marti Bell – Pounce to Kim

DJZ b. Mike Bennett – Rollup

Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards went to a no contest when Moose interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Impact Wrestling – June 21, 2016: What’s Next?

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 21, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re coming off one of the most entertaining nights Impact has put on in a long time but there was a small bump in the road just afterwards as they aired their regular show. The big news coming off that: we get ANOTHER Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy match this week as they fight inside a cage. I doubt they can top the commercial marathon from last week but let’s get to it.

We open with dueling promos from Matt Hardy and Jeff Hardy as they both talk about how this is the final battle. I’m so sure.

Here’s Drew Galloway for an opening chat. Galloways isn’t going to whine and complain but he wants Ethan Carter III out here right now. Carter apologizes for what happened last week but Drew wants a fight. He thinks Carter was on commentary because Carter thought he deserved the title shot instead.

Ethan says he shouldn’t have been in the title match because he was burned out. They yell about how hard both of them worked as champion but Ethan rescinds his apology and says he should be champ. Drew thinks Ethan got where he was by talking instead of fighting so it’s about to be on.

Cue Lashley to laugh about them arguing before both guys think they should have a #1 contenders match. Instead Lashley has set up a tag match where Drew and Ethan will team together. If they win they get a title shot (not clear if it’s one at a time or a triple threat) but if they lose they go to the back of the line. If Lashley’s team wins, his partner gets a title shot so here’s Eli Drake to offer to be the partner. Lashley agrees and it’s on right now.

Lashley/Eli Drake vs. Ethan Carter III/Drew Galloway

Lashley goes after Ethan to start but a standoff means a double tag. Drake gets taken into the corner as the good guys keep tagging themselves in, much to each others’ annoyances. Ethan backdrops Drake but Eli grabs a quick neckbreaker. It’s off to Lashley for a quick choke before Eli punches Ethan in the face a few times.

The bad guys keep taking turns stomping away before Eli slaps on a chinlock. A double clothesline drops Ethan and Lashley but Drake knocks Drew off the apron to break up the tag attempt. The TK3 allows the hot tag to Drew as everything breaks down. Blunt Force Trauma is broken up and the 1%er plants Eli, only to have Lashley spear Ethan down. That’s fine with Drew as he pins Drake at 8:17.

Rating: C. Well I’m glad they solved that issue in the span of twenty minutes. As usual, TNA has no idea how to let something build up because it can’t be the main event since that’s Matt and Jeff’s designated territory and the idea of waiting a week just isn’t in TNA’s lexicon. I like the story and I love the fact that these guys are being built up but let the stories progress over time, not all at once.

Decay wants to know who Rosemary has been talking to but she says to trust her. They’ll get an answer tonight.

Lashley comes up to Drew in the back and says he holds all the cards. He might give Ethan the first shot but Drew wants to step outside right now.

Here’s Decay to reveal who Rosemary has been talking to. They’re the death dealers but tonight they want to offer life to….Bram. She asks everyone to trust each other and thinks Bram is fed up with everyone trying to fix him. Bram lost the King of the Mountain Title because he was alone and they don’t want him to be like that anymore. The answer is decay. Bram: “I guess you’re kind of hot, I don’t know.” Bram declines the offer though and the beatdown is on.

Lashley congratulates Ethan on getting his title shot but it’s still on his terms. Ethan will know who gets the shot by the end of the night. As I said earlier: SLOW DOWN WITH THESE THINGS.

Marti Bell vs. Jade

Jade goes right after her to start as a fan tries to start dueling chants. Marti takes over and sends it to the floor while yelling a lot. That’s fine with Jade who picks up Marti’s baton, only to be told to put it down. You don’t argue with Earl Hebner so they head inside, sans baton. A German suplex looks to set up Jade’s package piledriver but Marti escapes and slaps her in the face. Jade faceplants her hard and Marti bails to the floor to grab that baton for a knockout shot for the pin at 5:49.

Rating: D-. The wrestling was nothing, the story was nothing, and the ending was predictable. I really don’t think anyone was looking forward to this match and I have no idea why it’s going to continue other than they have a lot of time to fill and think these two are interesting because they’ve been on TV before.

Maria Kanellis and Mike Bennett will respond to Dixie slapping Maria in the ring.

Lashley laughs at Dixie about the slap so she says he’ll face both Ethan and Drew next week. That’s fine with Lashley, who is way too cool with this.

Here are Mike and Maria with something to say. Josh says they’ve gone radio silent on social media since last week. Just out of curiosity I checked both of their Twitters and couldn’t find the end of their tweets from the last 24 hours. In other words, Josh Matthews continues to have no idea what he’s talking about. Anyway, Maria says she hasn’t slept in a week and the slap last week was assault. They demand Dixie is out here right now so here she is, along with Billy Corgan.

Maria screeches that Dixie needs to step down but Dixie thinks it’s crazy. Mike threatens to sue TNA for so much money that Dixie would lose everything. Eh true but small claims courts are backed up for months. Corgan suggests that Dixie take a leave of absence for about a week. Yes a week. Dixie panics but agrees before leaving. Mike wants an X-Division Title shot because Destination X is coming up soon. He can wrestle any style, no matter what the keyboard warriors think. Billy thinks Mike needs to earn that so he can have a title shot right now.

X-Division Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Mike Bennett

Eddie is defending and Josh starts things off by talking about everything Eddie has accomplished as champion. He’s held the belt NINE DAYS and has had one successful title defense. As usual, Josh Matthews continues to be stupid. Eddie snaps off a hurricanrana to start and avoids a Bennett knee drop. Maria offers a distraction as the announcers talk about bullfrogs. A quick cutter gives Mike two and we hit the chinlock on the champ. Eddie fights back and sends him outside for a pair of suicide dives.

Back in and a Blue Thunder Bomb gets two on Bennett and Eddie heads up top. Mike tries a superplex but Eddie smacks his ears to break it up. Josh: “How appropriate in an X-Division match.” Josh Matthews, stupid, you know the drill. Anyway the Miracle in Progress is broken up and Eddie tries a sunset flip, only to have Mike kneel down and hold the ropes (while Maria holds his hands) for the pin and the title at 8:32.

Rating: C-. This was your standard “it’s that time of the year so the X-Division Title means something to the main eventers” match but I really can’t get over all the stupid things Josh was saying. He got on my nerves last year when he called fans stupid for bringing up Austin Aries losing his career because they were paying too much attention and now he just says stupid stuff. I’m sure I’m just overthinking it though because wrestling fans are stupid people who overthink thinks.

Robbie E. plugs Big Brother After Dark and sees Jesse and Raquel talking about doing something behind Robbie’s back.

Braxton Sutter vs. Balam

Actually not so fast as Rockstar Spud comes out and says he’s taking Balam’s place because he’s sick of the Braxton Sutter show. Spud runs his mouth and gets punched in the face to start things off.

Braxton Sutter vs. Rockstar Spud

Sutter sends him into the corner but gets caught in a tornado DDT for two. Spud’s chinlock doesn’t go anywhere as Sutter kicks him in the face and hits a Downward Spiral for the pin at 2:40. There’s no reason for them to do so, but I’m sure these two will fight again.

Post match Spud kicks Sutter low, hits him in the back with a belt and spits on him.

Video on Sienna, talking about how hard she trains and how she wants to destroy Gail Kim. Until she mentioned Kim, this was a face promo.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Cage match with pin or submission only to win. Jeff doesn’t even waste time by throwing in tables, a ladder and a chair before Matt can even come out. Reby Hardy introduces Matt and insists that no one call him crazy. Matt brings in his own chair and somehow doesn’t notice Jeff on the top, waiting to dive on him at the bell. Matt comes back by shoving Jeff into the cage for two. Another whip sends Jeff into the cage and us to a break.

Back with Matt still in control as the announcers try to make sense of the story. Matt takes too long setting up a table though and eats a chair to the face. Poetry in Motion only hits the cage though and Matt bites the leg. A Side Effect through a chair only gets two for Matt but Jeff comes back with Whisper in the Wind to put both guys down.

Some Twists of Fate keep Matt down but the Swanton only gets two. The fans aren’t reacting to any of this. Another Twist of Fate puts Matt on a table so Jeff puts a chair on top of him. A second table is stacked on top of that before Jeff puts a ladder on the ropes for a splash through the top table but not through Matt. Not that it matters of course as it’s enough to pin Matt at 14:13.

Rating: B-. Ok now what’s next? I mean, I have no reason to believe this wraps up the feud so what are they doing next? It’s clear that these two are going to feud for months on end while the fans get quieter and quieter because they’re desensitized to these huge spots after seeing them for years. It’s a good cage match and all but the big spot is the only thing that’s going to matter.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a better show than they’ve done recently and a lot of that was due to having the Hardys contained to the last twenty or so minutes. They’re going to get in their stuff no matter what happens so just let them have their time while the rest of the show is mostly strong. It’s not a great show or anything but if they can get this pacing stuff down, everything will get better in a hurry.

Above all else though, the most frustrating thing about TNA continues to be that they clearly know how to create new stars (Sutter, Carter, Galloway etc.) but those people are typically stuck underneath the Hardys’ nonsense. It’s gotten better in recent weeks but I can’t help think that whichever Hardy comes out of this on top is next in line for the title after pushing everyone else out of the way to less of a reaction because we’ve seen that so many times.

Results

Drew Galloway/Ethan Carter III b. Lashley/Eli Drake – 1%er to Drake

Marti Bell b. Jade – Baton to the head

Mike Bennett b. Eddie Edwards – Rollup while holding the ropes

Braxton Sutter b. Rockstar Spud – Downward Spiral

Jeff Hardy b. Matt Hardy – Swanton Bomb through a table

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FWZZ2UA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6