Royal Rumble 2022 (2023 Edition): What The Heck Was I Thinking?

Royal Rumble 2022
Date: January 29, 2022
Location: The Dome At America’s Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 44,390
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

Somehow this show was a year ago and that might be better for everyone involved. This show was absolutely not well received and I am almost scared to see just how badly this falls down. Hopefully time has been a bit kinder to it, but you never can tell. In addition to the Royal Rumbles, we have Seth Rollins challenging Roman Reigns for the Undisputed Title and Brock Lesnar defending the WWE Title against Bobby Lashley. Let’s get to it.

I was in the stadium for this show, sitting in the upper deck with the Titantron on my right.

The opening video looks at how the Road To Wrestlemania begins here. As usual we get the Royal Rumble highlight reel and dang there have been some great moments over the years. The rest of the matches, which don’t mean nearly as much (as usual), get some attention as well.

Smackdown World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins

Reigns is defending and is currently by himself, as Paul Heyman has jumped back to Brock Lesnar and the Usos are barred from ringside. In the name of mind games, Rollins comes to the ring to the old Shield music, complete with the through the crowd entrance and gear (Of note: McAfee talks about the Shield days and says it was “Mox”, Seth and Roman”.).

Rollins goes with the grappling to start and Reigns is frustrated early. The corner clotheslines miss for Reigns and Rollins clotheslines him to the floor. Back to back suicide dives don’t do Rollins much good as Reigns knocks him out of the air back inside. They fight to the floor again though and Rollins is fine enough to hit a quick powerbomb through the announcers’ table.

Back in and the frog splash gets two but Rollins misses the Phoenix splash. Reigns’ spear is cut off by a boot to the face though and a buckle bomb into the Stomp gets a close two. Another Stomp is loaded up but Reigns blasts him with a clothesline to cut that off. Reigns’ powerbomb gets two so Rollins laughs at him, earning the big forearms to the face. The laughter is enough to let Rollins pull him into a triangle choke, which is broken up with another hard powerbomb.

They head back outside with Rollins being sent into various things, followed by a Superman Punch for two back inside. They head outside again and the spear cuts Rollins in half. Back in and another spear is countered into the Pedigree (how Rollins beat him for the title in 2016) for a rather close two.

Rollins has to elbow his way out of a Rock Bottom attempt and kicks Reigns in the face. Another spear cuts Rollins down again….but he’s still laughing at Reigns. Rollins holds out the Shield fist so Reigns pulls him into the guillotine. The referee checks the arm, with the hand falling onto the rope for the break. Well in theory at least, as Reigns doesn’t let go and it’s a DQ at 14:23.

Rating: B. This was a good match and that shouldn’t be a shock given who was in there. Any combination of the Shield guys are going to work well together and that was on display here. They tied the history of the team in well and Rollins broke Reigns down mentally, which should set up a huge rematch down the line. Granted it didn’t and this was a one off match, but it should have set something up.

Post match Reigns is all upset and slowly grabs a chair. The big beatdown leaves Rollins laying.

Women’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals and Sasha Banks (in Sailor Moon gear) is in at #1 and Melina is in at #2. They pose at each other to start before Banks dumps her in less than a minute. That leaves Banks do to Melina’s splits pose until Tamina is in at #3. Banks dropkicks her through the ropes before Tamina can get inside, setting up the Meteora from the apron. Tamina saves herself back inside but gets caught with a quick Rey Mysterio bulldog. Running knees have Tamina in trouble in the corner but she headbutts her way to freedom.

Kelly Kelly is in at #4 and it’s strange to see her as anything but the blonde. Kelly comes in for the short form screaming headscissors but stops to dance, allowing Tamina to run her over. For some reason Kelly tries the triangle choke over the ropes on Banks and gets dumped for not thinking that through. Aliyah is in at #5 and hits a weird looking standing Thesz press to hammer on Banks. Tamina slaps Aliyah and they grapple against the ropes as Liv Morgan is in at #6.

Morgan knocks everyone down and stops for a bow, allowing Banks to hit Three Amigos. Queen Zelina is in at #7 and kicks Banks out in a pretty big upset. Tamina can’t eliminate Aliyah as Bianca Belair is in at #8. A kick to the head rocks Tamina and Belair muscles Vega up for a suplex. Belair’s handspring kick to the face can’t get rid of Morgan but she does hit Vega with a moonsault. Dana Brooke, with Reggie, is in at #9 but she does say she’ll go in on her own. Tamina saves Zelina for some reason so Brooke gives Belair a handspring elbow in the corner.

Michelle McCool is in at #10, giving us Tamina, Aliyah, Morgan, Zelina, Belair, Brooke and McCool. House is cleaned and McCool knocks Brooke….right into Reggie’s arms. The Faithbreaker hits Vega and Brooke gets tossed for good this time. Sonya Deville is in at #11 and goes over to join commentary rather than getting inside. The slow elimination attempts continue until Natalya is in at #12.

Morgan goes right at Natalya, who puts her on the apron without much trouble. It’s not quite enough for an elimination so Natalya dumps Tamina instead. More teased eliminations continue until Cameron is in at #13. Cameron cleans some of the house as Deville gets up and slides in, where she takes out Cameron without much trouble. Natalya and Deville are the only ones left standing until Naomi, who hates Deville, is in at #14.

A springboard spinning kick to the face rocks Deville and Naomi kicks her out. Carmella is in at #15 and Corey Graves certainly approves. Carmella walks around the ring as a good chunk of the other women bunched up on one side of the ring for some reason. Rhea Ripley is in at #16 and throws Carmella inside, only to get triple teamed down. Ripley shrugs that off and knocks out Carmella and Vega without much trouble.

Charlotte is in at #17 as a bunch of people go after Natalya. Aliyah is tossed out after about 23 minutes, followed by Naomi being kicked to the floor. She hangs on by her feet….but Sonya Deville is still here to pull Naomi out for the elimination anyway. Ivory, as part of the Right To Censor, is in at #18 and says nothing has changed since she was last here. It is hard for her to look at these girls and, as she gets in the ring, she says she sees a lot of wayward, lost little girls. As she is talking, Ripley picks her up and, as she is still talking, Ripley tosses her out. Ivory: “HOW DARE YOU???”

With that rather funny bit out of the way, Brie Bella is in at #19 and starts the YES chant but can’t get rid of Natalya. Ripley and Belair can’t get rid of Charlotte as Mickie James, reigning Impact Wrestling Knockouts (or Women’s, as the graphic says) Champion is in at #20. That gives us Morgan, Belair, McCool, Natalya, Ripley, Charlotte, Brie Bella and James, the latter of whom goes right after McCool. A headscissors gets rid of McCool and it’s Alicia Fox (with the brown hair instead of the blonde hair) in at #21.

Fox gets to clean some house and the referee checks on Natalya. Nikki Ash is in at #22 and we pause for her to sneak up on Ripley but, of course, she can’t eliminate her. Everyone pairs off until WWE Legend Summer Rae (AND HER SONG THAT IS SO FREAKING CATCHY) is in at #23. A slap off with Natalya goes to Rae, but Charlotte runs her over before anything can get interesting. Natalya dumps Rae and it’s Nikki Bella in at #24. House is cleaned again and the Bellas get to reunite, with Nikki knocking out Fox. Sarah Logan returns at #25, gets in a few shots, and is tossed by the Bellas.

They toss Liv as well, after a pretty ridiculous 37 minutes without an elimination. Liv and Logan get their reunion on the floor as Lita is in at #26. Mickie goes after Lita and gets DDTed, allowing Lita to get the easy elimination. Charlotte and Lita slug it out until Mighty Molly is in at #27…and gets jumped by Ash on the floor. Molly is tossed in and then eliminated by Ash, who gets in a rather long pose and stare. Ronda Rousey makes her big return at #28 and yeah this feels like a huge deal, especially with almost everyone in the ring stopping to look at her.

Ash is out fast and Nikki Bella is sent to the apron…where Brie punches her out. Shotzi is in at #29 as Rousey gets rid of Brie. Rousey goes after Belair and Natalya powerbombs Charlotte as Shayna Baszler completes the field at #30. That gives us a final grouping of Belair, Natalya, Ripley, Charlotte, Lita, Rousey, Shotzi and Baszler. Rousey and Baszler start wrecking people before squaring off instead. Charlotte interrupts that as well so Rousey kicks out Shotzi.

Belair gets rid of Natalya but Natalya comes back in, only to be tossed by Rousey as well. Lita cleans house, including a middle rope hurricanrana on Ripley. The Litasault is loaded up but Ripley breaks it up and, say it with me, Charlotte gets rid of Lita. Ripley and Rousey fight to the apron and Charlotte kicks Ripley out. Belair kicks Charlotte on the apron and spinebusters Baszler but Baszler catches her in the Kirifuda Clutch. That’s reversed into a KOD attempt but Charlotte dumps both of them. We’re down to Rousey vs. Charlotte and they square off, until Charlotte missed a boot in the corner and gets dumped at 59:45.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t exactly great and showed just how little depth there was to the women’s division at this point. Of the thirty women involved, HALF of them were legends or returning names. I know why there is a Women’s Royal Rumble, but if you need to import half of the lineup, it might be time to put it on the shelf. With six of the entrants not even making it a minute each, this was a bunch of nothing until Rousey came in and won, because part timers and returning stars rule.

Titus O’Neil and company did their local charity stuff.

Raw Women’s Title: Doudrop vs. Becky Lynch

Doudrop is challenging and attacked Lynch leading up to the title match. After the Big Match Intros, Doudrop goes with the power to send Becky outside for a breather. Back in and Becky has to bail from a Vader Bomb, leaving Doudrop to get Cannonball the steps by mistake. Becky kicks away but what looks to be a tornado DDT is blocked. The sleeper puts Doudrop down to one knee but she powers out without much effort. Doudrop’s charge goes into the post and Becky hits the missile dropkick for two.

Becky gets run over again though and a backsplash connects for two. The triangle choke has Becky in some trouble but the sitout powerbomb breaks that up fast. The Cannonball gets two but Becky is back up with a Molly Go Round for two of her own. Doudrop’s throat is snapped across the top and a top rope Fameasser gets two more. Back up and Doudrop plants her for two more, only to have another Vader Bomb countered into a super Manhandle Slam to retain the title at 12:55.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t so much bad as much as it was a lot of standing around waiting on the finish. Doudrop wasn’t about to dethrone the biggest women’s star ever, even if this is a downgraded Becky. This was Becky being given a mountain to climb and I can absolutely give them points for running a fresh challenger out there. That’s a good thing, but you need to have an entertaining match to back it up and that wasn’t the case here. When the most exciting thing in a match is the Wrestlemania sign catching on fire, you’re in big trouble.

The announced attendance is 44,390.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Bobby Lashley. They’re very similar, they’re monsters, they were amateur wrestlers, the were mixed martial artists, now they’re having a title match.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Bobby Lashley

Lesnar is defending and has Paul Heyman with him while Lashley has MVP. They fight over a lockup to start until Lesnar snaps off a German suplex. Lashley is right back with one of his own but Lesnar hits two in a row. The F5 is countered though and Lashley hits a pair of spears to send Lesnar outside. Another spear sends Lashley through the barricade in the required big crash and Lesnar is rather smiley.

Lashley is back up to post Lesnar and they head back inside. Back in and Lesnar grabs more German suplexes but Lashley slaps on a quick Hurt Lock. Lesnar rams him into the corner for the break and the F5 hits Lashley, only to bump the referee at the same time. Cue Roman Reigns to spear Lesnar down before telling Heyman to hand over the title. Heyman does just that and a belt shot knocks Lesnar silly. Lashley gets the cover and the title at 10:14.

Rating: C+. That’s by far the match of the night so far as it felt like something actually happened. Lesnar vs. Lashley is a genuine dream match and something different for Lesnar, though he wrestled it similar to how he wrestles everything else. The Heyman twist was a good way to go and it’s nice to see Lashley get his title back, but this could have been something special and instead it was just ok. Granted Lashley injured his shoulder during the match so take it with a grain of salt.

Heyman leaves with Reigns as Lashley celebrates.

We recap Edge/Beth Phoenix vs. Maryse/Miz. Edge came back, Miz didn’t like it, the wives got involved, mixed tag.

Edge/Beth Phoenix vs. Miz/Maryse

Miz is knocked outside to start and Maryse is sent on top of him, allowing Edge to forearm Miz back inside. A cheap shot lets Miz take over on Edge and cannonball down onto his back. Maryse chokes a bit from the floor so Beth goes a stalking, for some reason thinking she needs a chair. Edge manages a quick implant DDT and Maryse can’t cut off the tag.

Beth comes in to beat up Maryse, including a spinning side slam for two. Miz goes after Beth and gets hammered down in the corner for his efforts. Maryse gets in a cheap shot with the loaded purse for two, setting up a camel clutch of all things. That’s broken up and Beth hits a clothesline for the double knockdown.

It’s back to Edge for the Edge-O-Matic on Miz, with Beth adding a powerbomb. Edge’s top rope elbow gets two but he spears the corner for the mishap. Maryse snaps off a top rope hurricanrana (that’s a new one for her) and there’s the French Kiss for Beth. The Skull Crushing Finale gets two on Edge and Miz gives us a shocked face. Beth is back up though and a double spear cuts Miz down. Mostly stereo Glam Slams give Edge the pin at 12:28.

Rating: C. Here is another match where it could have used some chicanery with Miz and Maryse cheating as much as they could have to win the thing and instead they played it pretty straight. The idea of battling couples works, but Edge and Beth aren’t going to lose to Miz and Maryse without all kinds of cheating and everyone knew it. Not an awful match, but another boring one on a show full of them.

A recipient of the Congressional Medal of Honor is here so we hear his story.

Men’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals with AJ Styles in at #1 (and strikes a Shawn Michaels pose for some reason) and Shinsuke Nakamura (Intercontinental Champion) in at #2, meaning Pat McAfee gets to dance on the announcers’ table. A strike off goes to Nakamura, who hits the spinwheel kick to the head but can’t exploder Styles out. Styles knocks him into the corner and it’s Austin Theory in at #3. The rolling dropkick hits Styles to start but Nakamura goes for Theory.

Robert Roode is in at #4 and hits some spinebusters but Styles cuts him off. Styles reverses a whip and sends Roode outside for the quick elimination. Ridge Holland, with face guard, is in at #5 to run some people over. Styles gets rid of Nakamura and goes after Theory as Montez Ford is in at #6. Ford throws Theory to the apron but can’t get rid of him. Instead Ford kicks away at Holland to little effect and US Champion Damien Priest is in at #7.

A bunch of stomping ensues until Sami Zayn is in at #8. More nothing ensues and it’s Johnny Knoxville in at #9. Knoxville takes Sami down and hammers away before going after Styles. The Phenomenal Blitz drops Knoxville fast and Ford adds the frog splash. Sami Helluva Kicks Knoxville out but Styles dumps Zayn for a bonus. Angelo Dawkins is in at #10, giving us Styles, Theory, Holland, Ford, Priest, and Dawkins. Omos is in at #11 and he should get to clear some of the ring. There goes Dawkins and Ford follows him rather quickly.

Ricochet is in at #12 and get chopped by Omos as NOTHING continues to happen. Chad Gable is in at #13 and rallies the troops to go after Omos, which means sending Priest after him alone. With Priest gone, the rest of the group, plus Dominik Mysterio in at #14, gets rid of Omos. Happy Corbin is in at #15 and dumps Ricochet pretty fast. Dolph Ziggler is in at #16 as this is reaching some incredible levels of boring. Deep Six plants Dominik and Corbin gets rid of him, followed by Styles getting rid of Theory.

Sheamus is in at #17, with Holland being tossed before Sheamus can get inside. Rick Boogs is in at #18 and McAfee is excited, as compared to the eerily still crowd. Boogs tosses Gable and Madcap Moss is in at #19. Corbin tosses Styles, ending a nearly thirty minute run with….nothing (that’s the story of the match so far: nothing happens, and we’re just sitting around waiting as more people come in and go out).

It’s Riddle in at #20, giving us Corbin, Ziggler, Sheamus, Boogs, Moss and Riddle as this drones on. Corbin and Moss get rid of Boogs and Drew McIntyre returns from injury at #21. McIntyre wastes no time in getting rid of Moss and Corbin, which would somehow carry on through Wrestlemania. That’s not enough though as Drew follows them outside and unloads on them with steps to the head. Kevin Owens is in at #22 and Pop Up Powerbombs McIntyre.

Rey Mysterio is in at #23 and the fans are barely reacting to a string of big, popular names. Kofi Kingston is in at #24 and gets tossed to the apron fast. Owens breaks up a springboard attempt and Kofi lands on the barricade….but his feet hit the floor as Kofi finally botches his big save spot. It’s Otis in at #25 and hits some elbows as the mindless brawling continues.

Big E. is in at #26 and oh yeah, he’s a former WWE Champion. Belly to belly suplexes abound and the Warrior Splash hits Owens. Bad Bunny gets lucky #27 and gets to clean house, including a high crossbody, followed by a Canadian Destroyer to Riddle. Bunny ducks the Brogue Kick and ducks Sheamus before teaming up with Rey to get rid of Ziggler. Mysterio turns his back on Bunny and almost gets tossed, leaving Owens to Stun Bunny instead. Otis dumps Mysterio and Shane McMahon is in at #28.

Shane wastes no time in getting rid of Owens before slugging it out with McIntyre. Randy Orton, the hometown boy, is in at #29 and the RKO gets rid of Big E. Another RKO hits Otis and Riddle hits a running RKO to McIntyre. Otis is out….and Brock Lesnar is in at #30, meaning everyone knows exactly where this is going. Lesnar gets to clean house, including a bunch of suplexes before dumping Orton and Bunny. Riddle is tossed, Shane follows him, and it’s down to Lesnar vs. McIntyre. Some right hands look to set up the Claymore but Lesnar reversed into the F5 to win at 51:11.

Rating: D-. This was HORRIBLE and is absolutely in the running for worst Royal Rumble of all time. There was no drama until the end, but the bigger problem is there was nothing set up throughout the match. This is the third time I’ve seen this match and I still have no idea what is supposed to be interesting until the end. People come in, they brawl, they get eliminated, more people come in. It’s about 50 minutes of absolute nothing and then “oh well, here’s Brock to get ANOTHER Wrestlemania title match after two minutes of work”. This felt like they didn’t try and just said “Lesnar wins, move on”. Absolutely horrendous.

Overall Rating: D-. I’ve heard this show called the lowest of the low for WWE creative in this era and that very well may be true. The ONLY decent thing on the entire show was Rollins vs. Reigns, and that ended in a screwy finish. You also have Lesnar vs. Lashley and that doesn’t even require creative to work. Instead, we had two terrible Rumbles, one of which is an all time miss, plus some nothing midcard matches. The Rumbles are always going to define these shows though and these were all time terrible. Horrific show and it gets worse every time I watch it.

 

Ratings Comparison

Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins

Original: B-
Redo: B

Women’s Royal Rumble:

Original: C-
Redo: D+.

Becky Lynch vs. Doudrop

Original: D+
Redo: C-

Brock Lesnar vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: B-
Redo: C+

Edge/Beth Phoenix vs. Miz/Maryse

Original: C
Redo: C

Men’s Royal Rumble

Original: C+
Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-
Redo: D-

WOW I have no idea what I was thinking on that Men’s Royal Rumble. That has to be up there on my all time list of stupid ratings.

 

Here is the original review if you need a recap.

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2022/01/30/royal-rumble-2022-at-least-something-caught-fire/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2010 (2025 Edition): It’s Who He Is

Survivor Series 2010
Date: November 21, 2010
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

So what we have here is a show with Survivor Series matches a few months after a huge Survivor Series style match headlined Summerslam. Therefore, the solution is to have a big focus on John Cena, who is guest refereeing the main event. If Cena helps his Nexus teammate Wade Barrett (yes it was a thing) win, he’s free but if he doesn’t, he’s fired. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course about Cena, who talks about how he is being asked if he will compromise his integrity one time…but at what cost? No other match is even mentioned.

United States Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Daniel Bryan

DiBiase, with a bored looking Maryse, is challenging. They fight over wrist control to start until Bryan hits a dropkick…and the lights dim a bit. A boot to the chest cuts off DiBiase’s leapfrog attempt but he’s fine enough to suplex Bryan out to the floor. Back in and Bryan’s kicks to the ribs are cut off and DiBiase hammers away as Maryse looks….well she exists. A nice standing dropkick gives DiBiase two and we hit the chinlock.

That’s broken up and Bryan hits a running dropkick into the corner, allowing him to moonsault over DiBiase. The running dropkick connects and Bryan sends him to the floor for the suicide dive. As usual, Bryan bangs up his shoulder, but he’s able to hit a missile dropkick to cut DiBiase down again.

The LeBell Lock is blocked though and DiBiase hits a running clothesline for two more. Dream Street (cobra clutch slam) is broken up as well though and Bryan knocks him down. DiBiase takes him up top but gets crotched, setting up a top rope belly to back superplex for two. The LeBell Lock retains the title at 9:56.

Rating: B-. Bryan was starting to become a much bigger deal around this time and he managed to do some nice stuff with a pretty generic heel. DiBiase had the look and some ability on the microphone, but he just never got to a higher level. If Bryan can only get you to pretty good, it’s not a great sign, which was about everything in DiBiase’s career after his debut.

Post match Bryan goes to leave but Miz jumps him with his Money In The Bank briefcase (and Alex Riley). Miz mocks Miami and says that LeBron James will never win a title here. As for the wrestling side though, he’s tired of carrying the briefcase and is cashing in soon. Tomorrow in fact. The lights going out two more times here didn’t help but Miz rolled with the whole thing.

We recap Sheamus vs. John Morrison. Sheamus has been bullying Santino Marella so Morrison came out for the save (as he has done a few times) so the match is set.

Sheamus is ready to beat Morrison up and show him what a bully is like.

Sheamus vs. John Morrison

Morrison starts fast with a headscissors to the floor, followed by a slingshot dive. Back in and Sheamus hammers away, which works a bit better for him. The chinlock is on early before Sheamus slowly forearms away at the back. A backbreaker gives Sheamus two and we hit another quickly broken chinlock. Sheamus hits some seated forearms to the chest (it was a work in progress) and they go up top with Morrison knocking him back down. Morrison’s high crossbody is rolled through though and Sheamus plants him for two more.

The Brogue Kick is loaded up but Morrison scores with an enziguri instead. Sheamus’ High Cross attempt is countered with a catapult into the corner and a Russian legsweep gives Morrison two. Morrison is sent into the corner and gets his leg knocked out for two, leaving Sheamus SCREAMING about it being three. Sheamus gets sent into the corner again but Starship Pain is broken up. The Brogue Kick misses though and a running knee gives Morrison the quick pin at 11:24.

Rating: B-. I’ve always liked these two together and it seemed like Morrison was on the way to a higher level. If he could have been more of this serious version, it certainly could have worked out. Sheamus was his usual solid self as well, knowing how to do a power match rather well throughout.

R-Truth comes up to John Cena and brings up the fact that Nexus is banned from ringside for the main event. The thing is, R-Truth isn’t banned and since you can only win by pinfall or submission, what if R-Truth came out and something happened to Randy Orton? An accident happened and Cena gets to keep his job! Cena gets really serious and says he can’t do it because he’d be seen as a joke. He’s calling this down the middle, but R-Truth says he’ll believe it when he sees it. They’re trying with this, but it’s really hard to buy that Cena is actually leaving no matter what. You know, because it’s Cena.

Intercontinental Title: Kaval vs. Dolph Ziggler

Kaval is challenging after beating Ziggler (with Vickie Guerrero) on Smackdown and this is his guaranteed title shot for winning the second season of NXT. A running shoulder drops Ziggler to start so he knocks Kaval into the corner. The Hennig necksnap gives Ziggler two but Kaval fights back, only to get distracted by Guerrero. Ziggler drops him onto the turnbuckle and we hit the chinlock to slow Kaval down.

That stays on for a good while until Kaval gets up and kicks him in the back of the head. Kaval’s handspring kick to the face (OUCH) gets two but he misses a phoenix splash, only to land on his feet. A quick Fameasser gives Ziggler two and he launches Kaval up to the top, where he bounces back with a spinning kick to the head. They trade some rollups for two each until Ziggler rolls him up and grabs the tights to retain at 9:33.

Rating: B-. Kaval did some good stuff here and those kicks were looking great, but if you can’t win the midcard title after winning NXT, there is only so much of a future. That’s probably why Kaval was gone from the company in about a month and a half with this as his big moment. Ziggler felt like he was doing the same thing for years and this was right in the middle of that run.

Jack Swagger is not happy with being on Team Alberto Del Rio because he’s the only former World Champion on the team. Cody Rhodes comes up to mock Swagger for not being able to get into a club last night. Del Rio, Drew McIntyre and Tyler Reks (the rest of the team) come in with Del Rio giving them a pep talk. He wants to see little kids crying tonight and if they win, he’ll buy the beers! Rhodes hates to admit it, but Del Rio is good.

Team Del Rio vs. Team Mysterio

Alberto Del Rio, Tyler Reks, Drew McIntyre, Cody Rhodes, Jack Swagger
Rey Mysterio, Big Show, Chris Masters, Kofi Kingston, MVP

Mysterio (in blue, like the rest of his team in a nice touch) start things off with Del Rio, who hands it off to Rhodes before doing anything. This lets Striker and Cole debate if Rickey Henderson is the greatest baseball player ever, with Lawler having to get them back on track. They run the ropes a bit and Rhodes gets an early two. It’s off to MVP vs. Del Rio with MVP kicking him into the corner.

Kingston comes in for a front facelock but Del Rio kicks away at Masters’ leg to take over. The villains take turns stomping on Masters in the corner and McIntyre goes up, only to dive into a raised boot (thankfully looking like he was trying a splash rather than just jumping for the sake of jumping). It’s back to MVP to take over but Del Rio trios him up on a suplex, allowing McIntyre to fall on top of him for the pin at 5:35. Masters comes in and hammers away on Del Rio, who cross armbreakers him for the elimination at 6:41.

Show comes in and tells Del Rio to try it on him. It’s off to Swagger, who is quickly beaten up, so Del Rio comes in, only to chop McIntyre for a tag. The WMD hits Del Rio (despite McIntyre being legal) and Show has to fight out of the Futureshock attempt. Show slams Kingston onto McIntyre as Del Rio is helped out. Rhodes gets hit in the face and insists that his mirror jacket is held up to reaffirm his dashingness. Back in and Kingston hits him in the face again, followed by the WMD for the pin at 10:58.

Apparently Del Rio is out so we’re down to three on three. Reks clotheslines Show down for two and Swagger comes in to start on the leg. The chokeslam attempt is countered into Swagger’s ankle lock, which is broken up so Mysterio can come in. The springboard spinning crossbody hits Swagger, who is able to block the 619.

That means the ankle lock goes on, with Mysterio escaping rather quickly. Another 619 is cut off by Reks and it’s off to Kingston, who dropkicks Reks down. Various kicks and a high crossbody give Kingston two but he gets hung in the Tree Of Woe. That’s reversed with an upside down dropkick to pin Reks at 15:11.

Swagger is back in with an ankle lock, which is broken up, followed by another ankle lock to make Kingston tap at 15:56. Swagger comes in to break up Mysterio’s assisted splash, only to get caught with the 619. Now the assisted splash gives Mysterio the pin at 17:36, leaving us with McIntyre vs. Show/Mysterio. McIntyre is cut off with 619 and the chokeslam for the final pin at 18:21.

Rating: C+. Not bad here, and they did a nice job of keeping things moving so it wasn’t clear who was going to survive. That’s one of the perks of a match like this, as you can mix and match so much stuff and get something interesting as a result. Mysterio and Show worked well together in the end, though Del Rio leaving so early didn’t exactly help much. Also of note: DANG 2010 had some awesome theme songs, like Smoke And Mirrors and Broken Dreams, plus Del Rio’s rather snazzy music.

Randy Orton doesn’t care about John Cena, the Miz or Wade Barrett. All that matters is his title so tonight, it’s an RKO for Barrett.

Divas Title: Laycool vs. Natalya

Laycool is defending in a handicap match. Natalya headlocks McCool to start and then wrestles her down without much trouble. Back up and McCool takes her into the corner, where Layla gets to send Natalya outside. That’s shrugged off and Natalya throws both of them over the barricade, with Layla being in trouble. Back in and Natalya plants McCool and grabs the Sharpshooter for the title at 3:39.

Rating: D+. This was nothing but a cool down match and they didn’t hide that fact. Natalya ran through the team like they were nothing and took the title, which didn’t make for the most thrilling stuff. You can only get so much out of this kind of a match and it’s a fine example of how little chance the women had in this period. What are you supposed to do with three and a half minutes in this structure?

Post matcy Laycool jumps Natalya but Beth Phoenix runs in for the save.

We recap Kane vs. Edge for the Smackdown World Title. Kane is full on evil with Paul Bearer behind him but Edge was back from his latest injury and became #1 contender. Edge then kidnapped Bearer, which had Kane freaking out, partially because Edge kept attacking Bearer…with food.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Kane

Kane is defending and gets his throat snapped across the top to start. Edge fights out of a chokeslam attempt and hits a spinwheel kick. The big boot misses for Kane and Edge goes after the leg to put him down. Back up and Kane puts him on the apron so the big boot can connect. We slow down a bit and the neck crank goes on, with Kane asking where Bearer is.

A basement dropkick gives Kane two and the cravate goes on. That’s broken up and Edge hits a high crossbody before dropkicking Kane out of the air. The uppercut connects for Kane and the side slam plants Edge for two. The chokeslam is countered into the Impaler but the spear is cut off with a big boot. Now the chokeslam can connect for two but Edge scores with the spear for the pin at 12:50….and all four shoulders are down so it’s a draw.

Rating: D+. Bleh, with the ending taking away what little good the match had in the first place. This didn’t feel like an important story and was a great example of how having two World Titles wasn’t always a good thing. It came off like little more than a glorified midcard title, with Bearer’s kidnapping apparently being a “well get to this later” major plot point.

Post match the fight is still on, with Edge sending him into the steps. Edge puts him into a wheelchair for a crash through the barricade.

Wade Barrett comes in to see John Cena and talks about how this is the same building where the Nexus attacked everyone on June 7. Now Cena is here as part of the team, but all he has to do is do the right thing and he’s free. Cena does remember June 7, just like he remembers every single thing Nexus has done to him. Tonight, when the time is right, he knows exactly what he’s doing.

Tag Team Titles: Nexus vs. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov

Rating: Nexus, with the Nexus, is defending. Marella throws Slater down to start and it’s off to Gabriel, who misses some spinning kicks. Kozlov comes in to kick Gabriel in the chest but he takes out Kozlov’s leg. A neckbreaker puts Kozlov down and Slater drops a knee for two as the double stomping is on.

Gabriel comes in for a cravate so Kozlov drives him into the corner. That earns a cheap shot from Slater, allowing Nexus to bring Kozlov back into the corner again. Back up and Kozlov clotheslines his way to freedom, allowing Marella to come in for the house cleaning. The flying headbutt hits Gabriel but a quick distraction slows Marella down. Slater’s running Zig Zag (or something close to it) retains at 5:10.

Rating: C-. This was yet another period where the Tag Team Titles were about as important as the Women’s Title and it showed again here. This match could not have felt less important and it’s not like either team was particularly good in the first place. Marella and Kozlov were a nice oddball pairing, but that’s not enough to carry interest here.

Post match we get an email from the Anonymous Raw GM, who reminds us that Nexus is banned from ringside in the main event.

We recap Randy Orton defending against Wade Barrett. John Cena has been forced to join Nexus and hates everything about it. Barrett has a title shot with Cena as guest referee. If Cena helps Barrett win, Cena is free, but if Barrett doesn’t win, Cena is fired. Cena is of course conflicted, because he’s Cena and therefore can never do anything wrong.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett is challenging and John Cena is guest referee. They start rather slowly until Cena accidentally distracts Orton, allowing Barrett to knock him down. Barrett slowly stomps away and they go outside, with Orton being sent into the steps. Back in and Barrett gets two before punching Orton down for the same (with the count possibly being a bit slow). The chinlock goes on for a bit until Orton fights up and starts the comeback.

The backbreaker gives Orton two (pretty much the same cadence as Cena gave for Barrett) but Barrett knocks down and hits a middle rope elbow for two of his own. A pumphandle slam and the Winds Of Change get two and Barrett is getting frustrated at the (so far fair) count. Wasteland gets two, with Orton having to grab the rope to escape.

Barrett is so frustrated that he shoves Cena, who knocks him into the RKO for the pin (with the three being a bit slow) at 15:15. Striker: “CENA’S FREE!” Cole: “Cena’s fired.” Striker: “Oh. Sorry.” So yes, Striker managed to screw up the point of the ONLY MATCH ON THE SHOW that WWE hyped up at all.

Rating: C. It was a slow, plodding match where you kept waiting for Cena to do his big thing and when he finally did, it was about as tiny as imaginable. As was the case though, Nexus comes up short in the big moment again, which was one of the main reasons the stable was doomed. Without winning something important (and no, the Tag Team Titles were not important), they were little more than a nuisance than a threat and that was on display again here.

Post match Nexus comes in to go after Cena but he and Orton clear the ring. Cena hands Orton the title and hugs him, with Orton seemingly appreciative that Cena called the match fairly (and helped him win). Orton leaves and Cena is all upset in the ring. Cena takes his armband off and goes to say goodbye to commentary before going to the stage and looking out at the crowd. The copyright logo comes up and Cena goes into the crowd to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. While there is some ok action to start, it becomes VERY clear that this is a show built around one match and one match only. That was all they hyped up at the beginning and pretty much throughout the show, which didn’t leave much else on the card. Throw in that Cena, who had been immediately fired as a result of the main event, was on Raw the next night and beat Barrett at TLC and the whole show felt even less important. The action was ok, but it was a show that bet everything on one match and that match didn’t deliver very well, basically dooming the whole night.

Results
Daniel Bryan b. Ted DiBiase – LeBell Lock
John Morrison b. Sheamus – Running knee
Dolph Ziggler b. Kaval – Rollup with tights
Team Mysterio b. Team Del Rio last eliminating McIntyre
Natalya b. Laycool – Sharpshooter to McCool
Edge vs. Kane went to a draw
Nexus b. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov – Running jumping Russian legsweep to Marella
Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett – RKO

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: B
2012 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B-

John Morrison vs. Sheamus

Original: B
2012 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: B-

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kaval

Original: B-
2012 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: B-

Team Mysterio vs. Team Del Rio

Original: B-
2012 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: C+

Natalya vs. Laycool

Original: D+
2012 Redo: D
2025 Redo: D+

Kane vs. Edge

Original: D
2012 Redo: F+
2025 Redo: D+

Nexus vs. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov

Original: D
2012 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C-

Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

Original: D+
2012 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Overall Rating

Original: B
2012 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

It always interests me when I’m expecting to be way to harsh on a show and it turns out it’s WAY nicer than I was the previous time. This show still isn’t very good though.

 

 

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ECW On Sci-Fi – September 23, 2008: They’re Growing Up

ECW On Sci-Fi
Date: September 23, 2008
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Matt Striker

The big story continues to be ECW Champion Matt Hardy dealing with Mark Henry, which is likely going to be quite the problem sooner rather than later. At the same time, there is a newcomer in the form of Jack Swagger, who is off to a rather nice start. The show still needs some fresh stars, but at least things have gotten a bit better. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are the Miz and John Morrison to get things going. Miz isn’t happy with losing to Evan Bourne last week and blames Ricky Ortiz. We see a clip of the loss and therefore it’s time to mock Ortiz’s hair. They aren’t happy with being ignored for the sake of the “locker room freshmen” and mock Teddy Long. Morrison: “Long could never hang out at the palace of wisdom.”

Cue Long, who brings up the Superstar Initiative, though Morrison mocks Braden Walker for being gone after two matches. Long says the Initiative is continuing and Miz challenges Ortiz and Bourne for tonight. That doesn’t work for Long, as Bourne isn’t here and they know it. Ortiz comes out, with Miz and Morrison saying pick a partner because the two of them can beat anyone. Long loves the idea of the two of them beating anyone…so they can face each other! And the winner faces Ortiz immediately thereafter! That was rather clever and the wordplay worked.

We look at Kane beating up Evan Bourne last night. I get that it’s kane, but bragging about the new stars and then showing one of them getting beaten up on the bigger show isn’t the best visual.

Ricky Ortiz is ready for tonight when Tiffany comes up and seems to approve. Ortiz has something in his pocket (Teddy Long: “Is it appropriate?”) and pulls out one of his rally towels, which Tiffany puts around her neck. Tiffany: “I like it.”

Finlay vs. Bam Neely

Hornswoggle is here too. Finlay drops him with an early clothesline and sends Neely into the corner, followed by a seated senton for two. Neely is back up with some heavy forearms to the back but Finlay shrugs it off and hits a clothesline. Finlay gets dropped again though and Neely grabs a Boston crab. Hornswoggle offers the shillelagh and gets thrown down, with the distraction letting Finlay blast Neely with said shillelagh for the fast pin.

Maryse vs. Michelle McCool

Non-title and I guess we have a light roster tonight. They go to the mat and slug it out to start, followed by McCool hitting a spear and hammering away. Maryse is sent outside but avoids a baseball slide and tosses McCool into the barricade. Back in and we hit the reverse chinlock, which JR thinks looks nothing like the Iron Sheik. McCool gets up and hits a dropkick, followed by a running flipping neckbreaker for two. Maryse manages to slam her off the top though and a DDT finishes McCool off.

Rating: C. You really can see the women coming along at this point and it’s great to watch. The match might not have been great, but it was a straight wrestling match with wrestlers who happened to be women. Given where the division has been before, this is rather impressive as the whole thing was basically being built up from scratch.

No Mercy rundown.

Here are Mark Henry and Tony Atlas for a chat. Henry says that Matt Hardy didn’t pin him to win the ECW Title because he can’t do it and never will. At No Mercy, Henry will show that he is the real champion and Hardy will learn it first hand.

Mike Knox vs. Chase Stevens

Stevens strikes away but gets booted in the face and splashed in the corner. A big running knee drop and the spinning Downward Spiral finish Stevens without much trouble.

Post match Jack Swagger comes out to powerbomb Stevens, which draws out Tommy Dreamer. Knox offers a distraction and Swagger powerbombs Dreamer as well.

Miz vs. John Morrison

The winner faces Ricky Ortiz after the match. Striker: “Who will be the Simon and who will be the Garfunkel?” Sweet goodness man. They trade rollups for two each until Morrison sends him crashing out to the floor. We take a break and come back with Morrison fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught with the corner clothesline for two.

The chinlock goes on again so Morrison fights up, only to get taken back down by a half nelson facebuster. Morrison shrugs that off and hits a running knee. Morrison knocks him down again and goes up, with Miz joining him on top. They both crash down and it’s actually a double countout.

Rating: C+. Much like the women earlier, you can see Miz getting that much better so quickly and it’s quite the impressive feat. He’s gone from a total joke to someone who can easily hold his own in the ring. That’s not something easily done and, along with Morrison, Miz is basically carrying this show. Nice match here, with the cop out ending making some sense this time.

Post match Ricky Ortiz runs in for the splashes to both of them to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t their strongest show, though I’ll take having some people come over from Smackdown for a week to boost things up. That’s one of the best things that can be done, as it’s not like this show’s roster has the depth to be interesting week in and week out. The new talent initiative can help, though they’re going to need a better success rate. It’s not a very good show, but I’m a bit more optimistic than I have been in the past.

 

 

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Smackdown – September 19, 2008: On A Loop

Smackdown
Date: September 19, 2008
Location: Sommet Center, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Tazz, Jim Ross

The big story coming out of last week is Jeff Hardy becoming the new #1 contender and getting a shot at HHH and the World Title at No Mercy. Other than that, Big Show is now in league with Vickie Guerrero and going after Undertaker, which sounds like it could lead to minutes of entertainment. Hopefully the rest of the show can pick up the pace a bit, though you never know what you’ll see around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Jeff Hardy becoming the #1 contender but getting laid out by Vladimir Kozlov.

Opening sequence.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Maryse

McCool is defending. Maryse grabs a headlock to start and then runs McCool over with a shoulder. Back up and McCool trips her down for a basement dropkick and then mocks the Maryse pose. Maryse manages to snap the throat across the top but a sunset flip dives McCool two. A hair takedown lets Maryse grab a camel clutch but JR isn’t happy with how much posing Maryse does in the process. McCool is back up with a dropkick into a running flipping neckbreaker. The Wings Of Love retains the title.

Rating: C. This was another good example of the issues the women were having at the time. They were clearly trying to get better in the ring (and it was starting to work) but they had the same issues as before, with the focus often being on their looks and the revealing gear. It’s still a work in progress, but you can tell they’re making serious progress.

Big Show is in Vickie Guerrero’s office when Eve comes in. Eve asks Vickie about Undertaker possibly being here tonight but Vickie doesn’t want to hear it. Eve goes on to mention that she’s been training, with the other two laughing at her. Show has her sit down and shows her why the first question is totally irrelevant. This leads to a video on Show beating Undertaker down at Unforgiven, which I guess he had cued up for anyone who was coming in.

Ryan Braddock vs. Festus

Jesse and Festus are doing the movers deal. Festus misses a charge into the corner to start and Braddock hammers away before grabbing an early chinlock. That’s broken up and Festus unloads on him, including the fireman’s carry flapjack. That’s enough for Jesse to throw in the packing supplies, which draws the DQ.

Post break, Festus is packed up and moved out. The fans either don’t get it or don’t care. Or both.

Vickie Guerrero wants Undertaker to show up so she can make him apologize. And we see the same video of the Unforgiven beatdown. Reminding us that it’s still Big Show vs. Undertaker really isn’t helping.

Shelton Benjamin praises himself and doesn’t think much of R-Truth being in prison.

Shelton Benjamin vs. R-Truth

Non-title. Benjamin backs him into the corner to start but R-Truth is back out with the spinning forearm. The referee doesn’t like R-Truth stomping away in the corner and Benjamin is able to snap off a suplex, which Tazz certainly appreciates. The crossface shots to the face set up a backbreaker and we hit the reverse chinlock. That’s broken up so Benjamin forearms away even more, setting up the reverse chinlock again. R-Truth fights up so Benjamin tries a German suplex, which is reversed into a cradle to give R-Truth the pin.

Rating: C+. R-Truth is still new so having him get right into the US Title picture is certainly a big deal. I’m not sold on the idea of him winning the title just yet and having him pin the champion isn’t great to see, but at least it’s someone getting a push. Now just follow through with what they’re doing in one way or another.

Post match Hurricane Helms (out of action for a year and a half) pops up in a bubble to say the price of gold just went down. Ok then.

Here is Jeff Hardy for a chat before his match. He’s been here for about ten years (thankfully throwing in “on and off”) and it hasn’t been perfect. Last week, HHH said that Hardy had never won the big one and now he realizes that HHH was trying to motivate him. Congratulations Game because it absolutely worked, and now he’s reaching for the title instead of the brass ring. As for Vladimir Kozlov…and never mind because cue Brian Kendrick and Ezekiel Jackson, with the former mentioning that last week’s four way wasn’t the best way to show off his abilities. Kendrick references Hardy’s drug use and we’re ready to go.

Jeff Hardy vs. The Brian Kendrick

Ezekiel Jackson is here with Kendrick, who gets hammered down in the corner to start. Kendrick comes back with a clothesline to the floor and we take a break. We come back with Kendrick working on a half crab, which is broken up rather quickly. Hardy fights back and hits the slingshot dropkick in the corner. Kendrick kicks him in the face and Jackson offers a distraction to break up the Whisper In The Wind. Kendrick loads up the Kendrick but Hardy reverses into a backslide for the fast pin.

Rating: B-. Kendrick continues to be such an oddball (in a good way) and he’s rather fun to see when he gets in the ring. It’s also good to see someone getting a fresh chance and his team with Jackson works well. At the same time, Hardy is on the way to getting a World Title match so he’s going to be racking up some wins in the next few weeks.

Post match Hardy goes to leave and gets kicked down by Vladimir Kozlov.

Big Show comes into Vickie Guerrero’s office and says Undertaker is here. We get a POV shot of someone we can’t see coming into the office but Vickie orders them onto their knees for an apology. A voice that sounds like Undertaker’s apologizes but she wants him to kiss her feet. And yeah it’s Chavo Guerrero in a bad Undertaker costume. And we see the video AGAIN.

It’s time for the return of Carlito’s Cabana, with Primo as the guest. After a quick microphone issue, Primo says it was easy to get a win last week. They’re ready to win the Tag Team Titles but get into an argument over whose show it happens to be. Cue Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins (Hurricane Helms pops in to mock Hawkins and Ryder) to mock the two of them, but Primo and Carlito issue the challenge for the title match tonight.

After confirming that Hawkins and Ryder aren’t Canadian, they confirm the title match for next week. Carlito needs someone to come clear the set off, so here are Jesse and Festus to clean house (and beat up the champs). The moving stuff is annoying, but Helms getting to be snarky has me intrigued.

Maria is sketching something when Brie Bella comes in. They talk about Maria making her gear, with Brie asking for an exact matching version, just in case it gets broken. Victoria and Natalya come in and say they’ve figured Brie out: she’s having an affair with Hornswoggle underneath the ring! A tag match is set for next week.

Great Khali vs. Scotty Goldman

Goldman mocks Khali’s speech pattern and even has a Runjin Singh puppet. Chops, a clothesline, and the tree slam finish Goldman fast.

Raw Rebound.

Chavo Guerrero throws La Familia out so he can watch the Big Show/Undertaker video by himself. So why do we have to see it for a fourth time? This time though the video breaks up and Undertaker appears on the screen. Then he appears behind Chavo and chokes him. Well his arm does at least.

HHH vs. MVP

Non-title. Feeling out process to start with MVP posing a bit too much, earning himself a crotch chop. MVP charges into a right hand into the corner and then charges into a drop toehold. HHH headlocks him down and grinds away to keep MVP rather frustrated we take a break.

We come back with MVP working on the arm by cranking on an armbar. A hammerlock with some knees to the arm keep HHH down, followed by a DDT on the arm for two. HHH fights up and hits a neckbreaker but MVP goes right back to the arm. That’s enough for MVP to go up, where he dives right into the Pedigree to give HHH the pin.

Rating: C+. Perfectly fine match here with HHH getting a win over someone with some credibility. It was a lot of work on the arm before they cranked it up a bit and it worked well enough. Much like Hardy earlier, there was no reason to believe HHH was losing but again in this case, that’s not a bad thing.

Post match Vladimir Kozlov comes out to wreck HHH to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show lost me with the Undertaker/Big Show video airing over and over with the only important thing being Undertaker choking Chavo Guerrero. The rest of the show was the usual stuff as we’re well on the way to No Mercy and Hardy vs. HHH should be good. The Big Show vs. Undertaker stuff being driven into the ground was a bad idea though and it took away from a lot of the rest of the show.

 

 

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Smackdown – September 12, 2008: He Can’t Carry It By Himself

Smackdown
Date: September 12, 2008
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Tazz, Jim Ross

We’re done with Unforgiven and HHH is still the World Champion, being the only champion to survive the Championship Scramble. It’s clear that Jeff Hardy is coming for the title though and that should make for a big story to close out the year. The other big story saw Big Show attacking Undertaker on Vickie Guerrero’s behalf, which can’t go well. Let’s get to it.

Here is Unforgiven if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the Championship Scramble.

Opening sequence.

Here is HHH to get things going. HHH says we need to see Unforgiven, even if it’s buying the DVD (and not just because he gets good residuals). He recaps the big events on the show, including Rey Mysterio’s crazy mohawk. Only one man walked in as champion and walked out as champion (aside from Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase I guess) and that was him. It was a difficult match but he found a way with one second left.

Cue Jeff Hardy to interrupt and say that HHH is awesome. The locker room, including Hardy, respects him because he’s a legend. HHH says he respects Hardy for being an individual who is always reaching for the brass ring, but he is just one step away. Hardy says maybe that’s true, or maybe he never had the right people, like the Kliq or DX or the family.

HHH doesn’t like that and brings up Jeff’s brother Matt. Yeah Jeff might be great, but Matt is the one who is a champion. Since they’ve been apart, Jeff hasn’t been able to keep his other activities from letting him get what he wants the most out of life. Tonight, Jeff is in a #1 contenders match for a shot at No Mercy and HHH hopes he wins so Jeff can prove him right.

Maryse/Natalya/Victoria vs. Maria/Michelle McCool/Brie Bella

McCool headlocks Natalya to start with McCool taking her into the corner so Maria can come in for la majistral. Bella starts in on the arm but Natalya drops her with a kind of step up backdrop. Maryse pounds on Bella on the mat and sends her outside, where Brie goes under the ring as usual. Back in and Brie gets a quick rollup for the pin on Victoria.

Rating: C-. The under the ring deal is fine, but it only has so much impact when Bella had only been in the ring for about a minute. Other than that, it’s easy to see why McCool was presented as a star, as she definitely has the athleticism and the look. The problem is they’re still in that weird period where the wrestling is being presented as serious (as it was here) but the Titantron videos are still showing off their appearances. It kind of has to be one or the other and that’s missing thus far.

R-Truth vs. Chavo Guerrero

Bam Neely is here with Guerrero. Truth takes him down with a hammerlock to start but gets kicked in the face for his efforts. Guerrero’s crossface chickenwing is broken up though and Truth hits a powerslam into a pump kick. Three Amigos connect and Guerrero loads up the frog splash. Truth cuts him off…and Neely shoves Truth down for the DQ.

Rating: C. They didn’t have time to do much here, though Neely getting involved was hardly a good way to go. As usual, Neely is about as uninteresting of a bodyguard as you can have as he’s someone who is just there and that doesn’t offer much in the way of value. Hopefully this isn’t part of a long feud for Truth either, as Guerrero isn’t the most thrilling opponent.

Post match Guerrero yells at Neely for the loss and gets shoved down. Truth drops both of them.

Shelton Benjamin hits on Eve Torres in the back when HHH interrupts. Torres leaves and, after opining about Torres being attractive, he says he doesn’t think Benjamin needs to be in the four way for the #1 contendership. Otherwise, Jeff Hardy is already coming for the title, but Benjamin says he’s reaching for a gold title, not a brass ring.

Festus vs. Kenny Dykstra

Jesse is here with Festus and they’re dressed as movers because Smackdown is moving to MyNetworkTV. Before the match, Dykstra brags about his potential and promises to take the garbage men out to the dumpster. He decks Festus before the bell and knocks Jesse down as well, only for Jesse to get in a show of his own.

Then Jesse rings the bell and Festus’ mauling begins. A fireman’s carry flapjack hits Dykstra…and Jesse and Festus hog tie him with duct tape. They put him on the moving cart and wrap him in plastic wrap to wheel him off. And that’s that, as the opening bell wasn’t official, so this was either not a match or a no contest due to kidnapping.

We recap Big Show getting yelled at by Vickie Guerrero at Unforgiven and then attacking Undertaker, seemingly on her behalf.

Here is Vickie Guerrero for an explanation. She talks about how Undertaker threatened to destroy her, but here she is. A lot of that is due to the Big Show, who comes out to shake her hand. Show talks about how Undertaker doesn’t follow the rules and how he needs to learn who is in charge. That’s when Show began to realize the benefits of a power alliance between himself and Vickie. She wants to be in charge and he wants to be WWE Champion and they’ll be working towards those goals. There isn’t much of a way around the fact that it’s still going to be Undertaker vs. Show again.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Scotty Goldman/Funaki

Total dominance, with a pair of headbutts finishing Funaki in less than a minute.

Post match Kozlov says give him competition or he’ll find it himself.

Ezekiel Jackson is reading WWE Magazine when HHH comes in. They have a staredown until The Brian Kendrick comes in to ask if anything is wrong. HHH talks about the four way and says that he was wanting Kendrick to win. Of all the losers in the Championship Scramble, Kendrick was the biggest.

Colons vs. Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins

Non-title and this is the Colons debut as a team. Carlito unloads on Hawkins in the corner before Primo tags himself in for a springboard dropkick. A powerbomb drops Carlito onto Ryder for two but Hawkins offers a distraction, meaning the Rough Ryder can connect. The chinlock, with a knee in Carlito’s back, goes on, with Ryder going major evil by using the hair to pull him back down.

Another chinlock doesn’t last as long but Hawkins is right there with a clothesline. The Hennig necksnap sets up a third chinlock but Carlito fights up. This time it’s actually enough for the tag off to Primo to clean house. Everything breaks down and a quick Backstabber gives Carlito the upset pin.

Rating: C+. As usual, I’m not wild on seeing champions lose clean, though it’s a fast way to boost up a new team. At the same time, it’s not like there are a bunch of teams going for the titles at the moment so throw them out there as fast as they can. It the match worked well enough, which shouldn’t be a surprise as the Colons have been teaming together for years.

HHH runs into MVP in the back and isn’t sure why he’s in the four way. The other three make sense but….MVP?

Classics On Demand: Flair vs. Race at Starrcade 1983.

MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Jeff Hardy vs. The Brian Kendrick

Non-title and the winner gets a shot at HHH at No Mercy. Kendrick rolls outside to start, leaving Benjamin and Hardy to exchange rollups for two each. MVP breaks that up and stomps away at Hardy in the corner until Kendrick runs in to try and steal a pin. That earns him a trip back to the floor, leaving MVP to facebuster Benjamin. A quick Whisper In The Wind gives Hardy two and we take a break.

We come back with MVP chinlocking Benjamin until Kendrick makes the save. Kendrick camel clutches Benjamin as Ezekiel Jackson sends Hardy into the barricade. That’s broken up as well so MVP is back in for a basement dropkick to Benjamin. Hardy is sent back outside, leaving Benjamin to German suplex MVP for two. Benjamin clears Hardy and Kendrick out again, leaving them to fight on the floor while he gets a triangle choke on MVP.

That’s broken up as Hardy gets back in and drops Benjamin for two but the Swanton misses. Kendrick and MVP double team Hardy, which works as well as you would expect as MVP drops Kendrick with a clothesline. Back up and Hardy hits the Whisper In The Wind for two on MVP but Benjamin makes the save. Paydirt drops MVP again but Kendrick hits the Kendrick. Hardy Swantons in to break it up though and pins Kendrick for the win.

Rating: B. The result was the only one that made sense as Hardy has been treated as the next big thing, and certainly the next big challenger, so he should be getting the shot at HHH. The match was the usual fast paced fight with a lot of near falls and saved. It got a good deal of time though, which has me wondering how Hardy would get there, which worked for a main event.

Post match Hardy celebrates but Vladimir Kozlov comes in to lay him out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The main event was the big focus of the show and they did the right thing, with Hardy being the only one of the four who made sense. Unfortunately the other big story was the Show/Vickie deal, which is making me dread the next few weeks. Hardy going after the title is absolutely the biggest story taking place and the fans are more than into it, but the show needs something else beyond just that.

 

 

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Unforgiven 2008 (2025 Edition): Bring It Back

Unforgiven 2008
Date: September 7, 2008
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 8,707
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz, Mick Foley, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We’re finally here, as I took such a long break from the 2008 cycle that this show is something like a year in the making for me. It’s a weirdly structured show, as there are three Championship Scramble matches for the big titles, but the real main event is Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho in an unsanctioned match. That story has been carrying the story this year so let’s get to it.

The opening video takes a quick look at the Scramble matches before moving on to Jericho vs. Michaels, with WWE pretty openly acknowledging that it is the biggest match on the show.

For the sake of simplicity, here are the Scramble rules:

• 20 minute time limit

• Two people start, with another of the five total entrants entering every five minutes

• Anyone scoring a pinfall/submission (it does NOT have to be on the champion) becomes the “current” champion

• Whoever is the “current” champion when time expires leaves as champion

ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. Finlay vs. The Miz vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Mark Henry

Henry is defending and Matt Hardy is in at #1 while The Miz is in at #2. Hardy grinds away on a headlock to start and seems to have a lot to say to Miz, who reverses into a headlock of his own. That’s broken up as well and Hardy hits the corner clothesline but the bulldog is countered. Instead Hardy pulls him out of the corner into a sitout powerbomb for two and another clothesline gets the same. Back up and Miz gets in a shot from behind, setting up the chinlock. Hardy gets out and grabs a sunset flip for two but Miz Reality Checks him out to the floor. That gets a rather delayed two back inside and it’s Guerrero in at #3.

Guerrero wastes no time in knocking Miz down and hitting a frog splash to pin Hardy and become current champion (remember: Miz does NOT have to take the fall for someone to become current champion). Hardy fights back and knocks Miz outside, followed by an elbow for two on Guerrero. Miz is back up as well and hits a high crossbody onto both of them for two on Hardy. Hardy drops Miz though and the Side Effect to Guerrero makes Hardy current champion. The chinlock slows Miz down (not a move you expect to see in a match like this) and it’s Henry in at #4.

The triple teaming does not work very well as Henry tosses all of them away, followed by a gorilla press drop to Hardy. The World’s Strongest Slam to Guerrero makes Henry current champion as the dominance continues. Hardy can’t hit the Twist of Fate and gets knocked to the floor, followed by Henry grabbing a bearhug on Guerrero. That’s switched to a bearhug on Hardy, who is mostly done as Finlay is in at #5 to complete the field.

Finlay wastes no time in kicking away at Henry, followed by a DDT for two. Henry shrugs that off and grabs another bearhug, which draws in Hornswoggle for a distraction. Finlay shillelaghs Henry and gets Hardy to help toss him out. A quick Celtic Cross to Hardy makes Finlay current champion with about 3:45 to go.

Miz missile dropkicks Finlay down but gets caught with the Twist of Fate to make Hardy current champion with 3:19 to go. Hardy turns to look at Henry but has to break up a cover as Guerrero frog splashes Miz (whose eye is busted open). Henry’s World’s Strongest Slam gets two on Guerrero with Hardy making the save.

The same thing happens to Finlay, leaving Henry to break up Miz’s rollup on Hardy. Guerrero gets pulled into a World’s Strongest Slam for two with Hardy making the save at 1:30 to go. Henry kicks Finlay down, making him drop Hardy at the same time. Hardy is back up to save Miz from Henry’s splash with 1:00 to go. Hardy keeps playing defense and no one can get a pin, with Hardy managing to run out the clock and become the champion.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but once the clock came on screen and the desperation started to build, this got very entertaining in a hurry. The idea of anyone being able to take the fall boosts this WAY up, as otherwise it would have been Hardy running away for the last few minutes. It was a really fun way to introduce the concept and I ha d a good time with it.

Matt Hardy runs into Jeff Hardy in the back and says it’s time for the Hardys to both be champions.

We get a poll question of whether Vickie Guerrero should have allowed Big Show into the Smackdown Scramble. Odd question to ask.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Cryme Tyme vs. Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase

Rhodes and DiBiase are defending after having Cryme Tyme steal the belts, though Rhodes and DiBiase stole them back, rendering the whole thing a waste of time. JTG starts with some dropkicks and Shad clotheslines the champs to the floor. A big dive connects as well and JTG takes over back inside.

DiBiase fights up and is promptly powerslammed down by Shad. It’s back to JTG who chases Rhodes outside, allowing DiBiase to get in a clothesline to take over. Back in and Rhodes works on the arm before working on the arm to change things up a bit. DiBiase comes back in for a nice dropkick and his own kick to the arm.

JTG suplexes his way to freedom but Rhodes is in to cut Shad off in time. The armbar goes on again before Rhodes goes up top, only to get pulled down for a crash. That’s enough to make the tag off to Shad to clean house. DiBiase’s suplex gets two, with Shad’s foot getting on the rope. The G9 is loaded up but Rhodes slips out. JTG grabs a small package but DiBiase turns it over so Rhodes can get the pin to retain.

Rating: C. There wasn’t much that could be done here and they couldn’t really find a way around the problem. The titles do not feel overly important and that dragged down anything they could have done. The champs getting their belts back before the match took away the limited interest they had in the first place and it was downhill from there.

Post match the brawl is on again but a Samoan comes in to help Rhodes and DiBiase, setting up the triple pose.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho. They’ve been feuding for months and Jericho had Michaels ready to retire over an eye injury. Jericho wouldn’t stand for that though and they insulted each other, resulting in Jericho accidentally punching Michaels’ wife. Jericho blamed Michaels, who swore vengeance, setting up an unsanctioned match here. This has been the best story in WWE in a long time and this is the real main event of the show.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

Unsanctioned so anything goes and Michaels is in street clothes, with his injured arm heavily bandaged. Michaels starts fast and hammers away, including some shots to the face with a belt. They go outside and over the barricade, with Michaels busting Jericho’s nose open. Jericho gets posted but avoids a chair shot and it’s time for the first table.

A table shot to the back crushes Michaels and he gets dropped face first onto the apron. Back in and Jericho chairs him down and the chair is wedged in the corner (that’s never a good idea). Jericho’s whip is reversed into the post though and Michaels gets a breather. They fight over a suplex from the apron through a table on the floor before Michaels takes him back inside for the running forearm.

The top rope elbow connects and Sweet Chin Music is loaded up, but Jericho collapses. Michaels isn’t waiting and hammers him down into the crossface but Jericho gets out again. Jericho starts going after the bad eye until Michaels gets in a shot of his own. The upside down whip in the corner (into the chair) just seems to re-energize Michaels, who is back with a Thesz press. Jericho gets up and pulls him into the Walls but the ropes mean nothing for Michaels.

Instead he finds a well placed fire extinguisher and sprays his way to freedom. An extinguisher shot to the face rocks Jericho again and they fight on the ramp, where Lance Cade comes out to help Jericho. Some shots to the bad arm, including one around the post, have Michaels in big trouble. Jericho goes to the eye and then back to the arm before the chair is brought back in. Cade holds the arm so Jericho can smash it with the chair, only for Michaels to break up the Pillmanizing.

One heck of a chair to the head knocks Jericho off the top and through the table at ringside for the big crash. Michaels unloads with the chair and puts Cade on the announcers’ table…but stops to kick Jericho some more. Jericho is stacked onto Cade and the top rope elbow drives both of them through the table. Michaels is all fired up and whips Jericho with the belt, including a hard shot to the eye. Michaels ties up Jericho’s arms and just unloads with left hands to the head until his own arm gives out. The referee pulls him off but Michaels is back on Jericho. It’s broken up again and the referee calls the match as Jericho is out.

Rating: A-. The most important part of this match is that they sold the story they were telling. These guys beat the living daylights out of each other and Michaels was for himself and his family. I bought into what they were doing and if they had gotten just a bit more intense (and by that I mean some blood), it would be even better. Either way, absolutely outstanding match here that actually got close to living up to the incredible hype.

Post match Michaels can’t help himself and beats up Jericho even more. The referee drags Michaels off and gets superkicked, leaving Michaels shaking. More referees come out to protect Jericho as Michaels composes himself. The look on Michaels’ face is PERFECT, as he clearly hates Jericho but also hates himself for letting it go that far. That boosts things up even more.

Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase introduce Randy Orton to their new friend Manu, the son of Afa. Manu says Orton can knock all of the other champions on Raw but these two are a different class. Orton says congratulations and says it was dumb luck. Go watch a replay of the match and then tell him what they did that deserves praise. They shouldn’t be proud.

Smackdown World Title: The Brian Kendrick vs. MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Jeff Hardy vs. HHH

HHH is defending, Jeff Hardy is in at #1 and Shelton Benjamin is in at #2. They trade rollups to start until Benjamin takes him down into a headlock. With that broken up, Benjamin grabs a suplex into a chinlock with a knee in the back. Hardy fights up and Kendrick is in at #3.

Benjamin tries to suplex Hardy off the apron but Kendrick breaks it up and covers Hardy for two. With Benjamin down, Hardy avoids a charge in the corner and hits the Twist Of Fate to become current champion. Benjamin is back in to knee Hardy into the corner but misses another splash. Hardy tries a sunset flip (possibly forgetting the rules, which is fine) for two but Paydirt gives Benjamin two more with Kendrick making the save. The Kendrick gives Kendrick the pin on Hardy to make him current champion.

MVP is in at #4 and kicks Hardy to the floor before backdropping Kendrick out with him. Benjamin and MVP slug it out until Kendrick comes back in with some kicks to the face. Benjamin Samoan drops Kendrick and everyone is down as HHH is in at #5 to complete the field, meaning we have less than five minutes to go. HHH fires off the clotheslines to start fast and hits a Pedigree to pin Kendrick and become current champion with 4:11 to go. Benjamin sends HHH outside though and into the steps, leaving Hardy to give MVP the Twist Of Fate to become current champion with 3:05 to go.

Kendrick comes after Hardy and gets gordbustered but HHH crotches Hardy on top. The Pedigree gives HHH the pin on Kendrick with 2:05 to go but Hardy Swantons Kendrick for the pin to become current champion with 1:53 to go. Hardy sends HHH outside and hits a big flip dive and everyone is down with 1:10 to go. With HHH and Hardy outside, the other three hit a Tower Of Doom with MVP being in the best place. Hardy is back in for a Whisper In The Wind to MVP and a Swanton to Benjamin…but HHH comes in to Pedigree and pin MVP and retain the title as time expires.

Rating: C+. The problem here was the lack of drama for the most part, as while the opener had five people you could see walking out with the title, this was ALL about HHH vs. Jeff Hardy and nothing more. The other three were just warm bodies, which is a shame as this is the kind of match where you could do some good teasing of a surprise winner. Kendrick felt that way for all of a minute before it turned into the HHH/Hardy show. After that, nothing else mattered and the ending, while timed very well, didn’t come off as exciting as much as one of the two realistic winners winning.

Shawn Michaels isn’t used to not going to the hospital after a pay per view. His family is going to see the look on his face and know what he did. He’s content, but he’s not satisfied. If he had his way, he would do everything he did to Jericho every night for the rest of his life. Jericho has awoken something inside of him that he isn’t sure if he can control and isn’t sure if he wants to. The worst is yet to come.

Randy Orton interrupts CM Punk and calls him a fluke. Cue Ted DiBiase, Manu and Cody Rhodes to beat Punk down. Kofi Kingston makes a failed save attempt and Orton punts Punk out cold.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Maryse vs. Michelle McCool

McCool is defending and starts fast with a wristdrag out of the corner, though she comes up favoring her knee. Maryse bails to the floor so McCool follows, with Maryse sending her over the barricade. Back in and Maryse takes out the knee and starts cranking away, including tying the leg in the ropes. Maryse stops to flip her hair though, allowing McCool to kick her in the face for two. A big boot and a sitout gordbuster retain McCool’s title.

Rating: C-. I feel bad for these two. The match itself was just ok at best and honestly not that good, though they used a fine story of McCool hurting her leg and Maryse working on it. That’s totally acceptable, even if the match was decent for the most part. The problem continues to be the way the entire division is presented, as you had McCool’s Titantron featuring her getting out of a pool and Tazz calling them “the sexiest women on television.” It’s hard to be taken seriously when you’re being treated as eye candy and they had been putting in the work to get better. That’s not fair on them and it took a long time to overcome.

Here is Raw GM Mike Adamle, who announces that CM Punk may not be able to compete, so he might have to find a suitable replacement. Either way, there will be a five man Championship Scramble.

Here is the Big Show for an unscheduled chat. Show: “HI!” He gets right to the point: if Adamle needs a replacement for the Scramble, look no further than him. Show plugs the Smackdown Your Vote campaign and brings up the poll from earlier about whether or not he should have been in the Scramble, with 77% saying yes. We get a quick audience poll, with the fans seemingly wanting him in the match and that’s it…until Vickie Guerrero interrupts.

She calls him a big dumb giant and doesn’t like being insulted, so now he will deal with the “circumstances”. Show needs to get out of the ring but hold on because we’ve got druids (Show finds this hilarious). They bring a coffin to the ring and Undertaker pops up on screen to talk about the rather specific way he wants to kill Guerrero and send her to H***. Vickie tries to leave but Show holds her in place as Undertaker slowly (of course) comes to the ring. She even gets outside but Show throws her back inside as Undertaker opens the casket and gets inside the ring.

The jacket and hat come off as Show is still holding Vickie in place. Undertaker shakes his head at her and grabs Vickie by the throat….and Show KO Punches him. Show massacres Undertaker and it keeps going for a good while, with Show hitting another two KO Punches. Vickie gets in a slap and spits in Undertaker’s face before the villains leave. This went on WAY too long, though minor points for having Show’s turn feel like a surprise (or as close as it could be given how telegraphed it was when he was still out there).

We recap Randy Orton and CM Punk getting into it on Raw, leading to Orton attacking Punk earlier tonight. Ignore how much the replay reveals that it was a shin to the general vicinity of the head rather than a punt.

William Regal tries to get into the Scramble but Mike Adamle says there is still a chance Punk wrestles.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Batista vs. Kane vs. John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Punk is defending (in theory), Batista is in at #1 and JBL is in at #2. Batista powers him into the corner to start but gets forearmed back. JBL does some horribly blatant spot calling before getting his whip reversed into the corner. A sleeper is broken up with a shinbreaker and Batista grabs a Figure Four so we get the required Ric Flair reference. That’s broken up and they go outside, with Batista sending him into the steps.

Kane is in at #3 and it seems that the clock is speeding up. Batista wastes no time with a clothesline but Kane is right back up with a big boot. The basement dropkick gets two on Batista and the side slam sets up the missed top rope clothesline. JBL is back in but misses the Clothesline From JBL, meaning it’s a chokeslam to make Kane the current champion. Back up and Kane stays on Batista until Rey Mysterio is in at #4.

Mysterio gets to clean house until Kane cuts him off in the corner. Batista breaks that up and we get the splash off Batista’s shoulders onto Kane to give Mysterio two. They try it again but this time Mysterio rolls Batista up for two, which might not have been the brightest move. Mysterio points out that Batista covered Kane after the splash but JBL is back up to drop both of them. JBL’s fall away slam sends Mysterio onto Batista (that was clever) but the clock is up….and Chris Jericho is in at #5.

Jericho can barely move on the way to the ring and there are some NASTY welts on his back. Batista cuts Kane off and gives him a powerslam as we’re down to four minutes left with Jericho coming in and getting speared down. A bad 619 hits Kane’s ribs and Batista adds a big boot for two. Batista breaks up a springboard from Mysterio and drops Kane for two more. Kane is back up with the top rope clothesline for his own near fall.

A spear cuts Kane off with less than a minute to go and a spinebuster makes Batista current champion with 35 seconds left. Batista realizes he has to play defense for a bit and cuts off Mysterio’s springboard with a powerbomb. Jericho sneaks in and steals the pin on Kane for the pin with seven seconds left. Batista, apparently COMPLETELY INCAPABLE OF PINNING THE MAN HE JUST POWERBOMBED INTO OBLIVION, stares at Jericho until time expires.

Rating: C+. I didn’t hate it, but at the end of the day, the second Jericho came out, you knew the ending. There was no way around that and at the end of the day, it was a countdown to Jericho stealing the pin. Other than that, you had what you would expect from these guys as it was just waiting to see if Punk would be in there or not. They didn’t hide where they were going, but dang Jericho getting the title is a nice twist given how everything else has been lately on Raw.

Overall Rating: B. The opener and Jericho vs. Michaels are more than good enough to carry this thing, though that twist at the end makes the main event feel that much better. It was a very tricky show to navigate with so many people tied up in the three Scrambles, but Jericho and Michaels is excellent and lived up to the hype. Very good show here, and if one of the other two Scrambles was better, it would have gone even higher.

 

 

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Smackdown – September 5, 2008: HHH Doesn’t Know Baseball

Smackdown
Date: September 5, 2008
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz

It’s finally the last show before Unforgiven and that means we aren’t likely to be in for the most thrilling show. Other than the World Title situation, Undertaker is still mad at Vickie Guerrero, which means we could be in for a lot of more spooky stuff which leads nowhere. Hopefully we have something better than last week, which was dreadful. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Vickie Guerrero being scared of Undertaker, who is swearing vengeance. Vickie has begged for forgiveness but Undertaker doesn’t seem agreeable.

Opening sequence.

Here is HHH to get things going. He explains the concept of the Championship Scramble, which sounds like something you order at Denny’s at 3am. Now he’s never been great at math, but he has about a 15-20% chance of keeping his title but here is Shelton Benjamin to interrupt. Benjamin talks about what it is going to take to retain the title and he is the gold standard when it comes to talent.

We see a clip of Benjamin laying HHH out last week, though HHH points out that it came after HHH beat him. HHH calls him a good cheap shot artist and invites him to come try his luck face to face. Cue MVP to interrupt, saying he’s better than HHH, Benjamin and “the Charismatic Enigma” (MVP: “Whatever that means.”). MVP and Benjamin argue but HHH asks how long they’ve been in this company.

HHH says this is the week before a pay per view so he comes to the ring to talk about defending his title at the pay per view. HHH: “That’s called a promo.” He then explains what is supposed to happen: While he’s doing his “promo” (yes he does the finger quotes), these guys interrupt him and talk a bunch of trash that they know they can’t back up.

HHH then proceeds to insult them and their families or something like that, leading to them attempting to beat him up. Then he fights back, sending them running off to the back and we don’t see them the rest of the night. That’s a very simple formula but apparently it isn’t ringing a bell to them. HHH: “I swear to you, I am going to be champion for like the next century.”

Cue The Brian Kendrick, who gets decked, and Ezekiel Jackson, who offers a distraction so Kendrick can kick HHH down. MVP and Benjamin run in for the beatdown but Jeff Hardy runs in for the save. Jackson breaks up the Swanton but HHH is back up with a chair, which just annoys Jackson a bit. The slightly less serious promos continue around here and they continue to be father funny.

Bam Neely vs. R-Truth

Chavo Guerrero is here with Neely. R-Truth armdrags him to start but gets driven into the corner so Neely can hammer away. The neck crank doesn’t last long for Neely as R-Truth fights up and hits the jumping kick to the face. The spinning forearm and the top rope missile dropkick connect, setting up the ax kick for the fast pin on Neely.

Here is Undertaker (with Peacock cutting off his entrance) to say that he won’t forgive Vickie Guerrero. Instead he plans to kill her, put her in a coffin and light it on fire so she’ll be in H*** with her husband Edge. Then the lights go out and Undertaker disappears.

MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title. Before his entrance, Benjamin pops up on screen to talk about how precious gold is, but he is even more precious. Both of them seem freaked out over Undertaker vanishing and keep looking over their shoulder as they come to the ring. They go straight to the brawling, with MVP getting the better of the slugout on the mat. Benjamin knocks him to the floor though and MVP teases leaving, only to deck Benjamin for coming to get him. Back in and Benjamin jumps over him but MVP scores with a running big boot. Benjamin shrugs that off though and grabs Paydirt for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. Benjamin winning is fine and in this case it has a bit of a build towards the title match at Unforgiven. I like the idea of mixing things up a bit here, which you don’t get very often with heel vs. heel matches. It lets things feel a bit fresher, and that is something that is often welcome after seeing the same people rotated against each other.

Maryse insults Maria’s hand made gear, saying we don’t want a wardrobe malfunction tonight. Maryse’s gear is custom made and Maria might not have the curves to fit into them.

Maria vs. Maryse

Maria charges at her to start and the brawl is on, with the two of them heading outside. Maryse hits a clothesline to take over, followed by a backbreaker for two back inside. A catapult sends Maria throat first into the ropes and Maria flips over for a reverse chinlock. Back up and Maria snaps off a running headscissors but misses a high crossbody. The DDT gives Maryse the quick pin.

Post match Michelle McCool comes out to stare Maryse down.

The Brian Kendrick vs. Jeff Hardy

Ezekiel Jackson is here with Kendrick. Hardy starts fast by hammering him down in the corner but Kendrick gets in a kick to the back of the head. Kendrick grabs something close to a dragon sleeper, followed by another kick to the head for another two. The chinlock goes on for a bit before Hardy avoids a charge into the corner. Hardy hits the slingshot dropkick and hits a sitout gordbuster to plant Kendrick again. An Alley Oop gets two and they head outside, where Jackson gets in a cheap shot by sending Hardy into the barricade. Back in and the Kendrick gives Kendrick the pin.

Rating: B-. These guys worked well together and Kendrick’s rather surprising push continues. What matters the most is that he feels like enough of a wildcard that he has to be watched on Sunday. The more options there are to leave with the title the better and this helped Kendrick get closer to that spot.

Vickie Guerrero arrives and is livid at a wheelchair waiting on her, as she did NOT order it. Now get these cars out of her way! The cars are not in her way.

Super Crazy vs. Ryan Braddock

Crazy kicks him down to start and the fans seem to approve. Back up and Braddock hits a shot to the back of the head, only to charge into a boot in the corner. Crazy hits the moonsault for the fast pin.

Post match here is Vladimir Kozlov to drop Crazy and demand better competition. Cue the Big Show to mock his own lack of action lately, but he’s feeling a little competitive too. They’re both ready to go but here is Vickie Guerrero to tell Kozlov to get out. Vickie tells Show to get out as well, or face indefinite suspension.

With no one else in the ring, Vickie talks about Undertaker, saying she has lifted his suspension and even apologized. She will no longer be a victim because she has been through so much in her life. Therefore at Unforgiven, she will get what she wants: an apology from Undertaker. Without Edge or someone to fight for her, this is really not working.

Brie Bella vs. Victoria

Victoria starts fast and grinds her down with a headlock. That’s broken up and Bella pulls on both arms before sending Victoria outside. Victoria rams her into the apron and they go back inside, where Victoria sends her right back outside. Brie crawls underneath the ring again and is out the other side rather quickly, setting up the rollup to pin Victoria again. Must be grabbing a Gatorade or something under there.

WWE is at the Republican National Convention and want you to vote.

Raw Rebound, again all about Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels.

Unforgiven rundown.

HHH is asked about his matches tonight and on Sunday, with the question being about his greatest concern. HHH: “Right now, probably global warming or maybe the economy.” Anyway, he talks about looking your next challenger in the face and here’s Jeff Hardy. HHH isn’t sure if anyone can complete a thought without being interrupted. Hardy is sorry for interrupting the “promo” and calls himself HHH’s problem at Unforgiven. HHH says Hardy already has two strikes against him and there’s the old saying: three strikes and you’re out of the game. I think the saying actually goes “HHH doesn’t know how baseball works.”

HHH vs. Great Khali

Non-title lumberjack match, with the other people in the Scramble as lumberjacks. Khali hits an early clothesline to start and sends HHH outside, where the lumberjacks get in a stomping. We take a break and come back with Khali working on a nerve hold (you knew that was coming).

The elbows in the corner have HHH in more trouble as Tazz actually explains the idea of a lumberjack match. I actually love it when commentary does stuff like that, as it’s something longtime fans know, but what about someone who is watching for the first time? Take ten seconds and clear it up for them.

Anyway, HHH gets knocked outside where the villains jump him, with Hardy going over for the save. Hardy gets taken out and the chokebomb gives Khali two back inside. HHH actually goes up and hits a middle rope shoulder but the lumberjacks pull him outside for another beating. Hardy flip dives onto them for the big save, leaving HHH to hit the spinebuster. The Pedigree is blocked again though and Khali gets the vice grip, which is actually broken up. A headbutt staggers Khali and HHH hits the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: C+. These two had an odd chemistry together and this worked well enough. The lumberjacks at least tied into everything else and HHH gets to slay a giant to look like he’s a bigger deal on the way to the title match. That’s all you need out of something like this and it was still better than the lame battle royals on Raw.

Post match Hardy goes in to help HHH up and then gives him the Twist Of Fate (fans are NOT sure what to make of that) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This had some good enough parts, oddly enough with most of it coming from HHH. The Undertaker/Vickie Guerrero stuff continues to be the most “get this over with” story going, but the stuff with the World Title is holding up well. Most of the action was just ok, but I laughed a lot at the opening promo and the main event worked well enough. Now just nail it at Unforgiven.

 

 

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Smackdown – August 29, 2008: Nice To Meet You And You

Smackdown
Date: August 29, 2008
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz

We’re just over a week away from Unforgiven and as you might have guessed, the big story here is the Championship Scramble. That’s the kind of match that can open up a lot of possibilities and hopefully some of those are teased this week. We could also use some other things to help fill out the card so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Undertaker to get things going, with La Familia watching in the back. Undertaker says Vickie Guerrero wants to be forgiven of her sins but he isn’t the forgiving kind. He will not forget what she did to him and is coming for her soul. Once he has taken it, she will burn.

In the back, La Familia leaves Vickie alone and she’s locked in her dressing room.

R-Truth talks about growing up the hard way and how you can never change your past. The truth is about building a better future every day and now he’s here full time and that’s the truth.

R-Truth vs. Kenny Dykstra

We get a promo from Dykstra, saying he should be getting the attention rather than a convict. Truth hits him in the face and gets two off a rollup but Dykstra drops him with a shot to the face. Back up and Dykstra blocks a suplex, setting up the double arm crank with a knee between the shoulders. That’s broken up and R-Truth hits the spinning forearm into the ax kick for the pin. Truth looked pretty good here, even in a short match.

Michelle McCool is doing a photo shoot when Maryse comes in to suggest she’ll be taking the Divas Title. McCool isn’t impressed and says Maryse will never have the title due to a lack of talent. Which one is the villain again?

Maria/Michelle McCool vs. Natalya/Maryse

Natalya grabs a headlock on McCool to start but gets Russian legsweeped down for two. Maria comes in and gets planted with a slam but avoids a legdrop. Natalya is right back up to bring Maryse in, with a DDT taking Maria out for the rather out of nowhere pin.

Post match the brawl is on between McCool and Maryse, with the two of them brawling to the floor, where Natalya helps Maryse take her out.

We recap Jeff Hardy vs. MVP. The two have been feuding for a few weeks now as Hardy wants to be WWE Champion while MVP doesn’t think much of Hardy’s lifestyle. This included bringing up Hardy’s house burning down, which was too far for Hardy. MVP then beat him at Summerslam, and now it’s time for a rematch.

Hardy calls MVP an obstacle on the way to being WWE Champion.

Vickie Guerrero is still stuck in her dressing room but finally realizes she has a phone….which doesn’t work and is thrown against the wall.

Jeff Hardy vs. MVP

They take their time to start until Hardy pulls him down with a headlock. MVP knocks him to the apron but Hardy is back with a right hand that has a frustrated MVP walking around ringside. Back in and another headlock has MVP frustrated a bit more as Ross suggests Hardy’s offense is surprising him here (because Ross knows how to tell a story on commentary).

Some armdrags into an armbar keeps MVP in trouble but he fights up and stops a charge with an elbow to the face. MVP tries to go after the leg but gets kicked into the post, with Hardy wrapping the arm around it a few times for a bonus. Hardy sends him outside for a running flip dive off the apron and we take a break.

Back with MVP sending him into the corner to get out of another armbar and getting a needed breather. Hardy gets sent into the barricade and we hit the seated abdominal stretch. That’s broken up fairly quickly and Hardy hits the slingshot dropkick in the corner. The Swanton hits raised knees though and a missed dropkick lets MVP bend Hardy’s back around the post.

MVP kicks him down and grabs the camel clutch, sending Hardy over to the ropes. The double arm crank goes on again so Hardy fights back up, earning himself something like a belly to belly. Hardy tries to run the corner but gets knocked down for a nasty crash and two. MVP’s belly to back superplex is countered into a crossbody for two, followed by the Whisper In The Wind. The Swanton finishes MVP off.

Rating: B. This turned into a fight as both guys were trying so hard to put the other away. Hardy getting the win is the right way to go to even the score and there is a good chance that they’ll run it back one more time. MVP is someone who can make anyone look better and Hardy is getting closer and closer to the top of the card in a hurry.

Post match Shelton Benjamin runs in to lay out Hardy…and them MVP as well.

Josh Matthews and Candice Michelle are still at the Democratic National Convention. Eh important enough.

Jesse & Festus vs. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder

Non-title. Festus clears the ring without much trouble to start…and here is the Big Show to jump Hawkins for the DQ in about a minute.

Post match Show wrecks everyone but the off mode Festus, Show says “hi” and promises to never be overlooked again. Last week he didn’t get a qualifying match for the Championship Scramble so he made a little oversight of his own like this one.

Vickie Guerrero is still trapped in her office.

Brie Bella vs. Victoria

This is Brie’s debut. Victoria takes her down with a headlock and isn’t having anything of a leg sweep. A rollup out of the corner gives Brie two and she grabs some flying mares. Back up and Victoria powers her into the corner, setting up a standing moonsault. Brie bails to the floor and climbs underneath the ring, where Victoria pulls her back out. They get inside again and the rather energized Brie gets a small package for the upset pin. Well that was a surprise.

Raw Rebound.

Brian Kendrick, reading a book, talks about how ridiculous it is to see two members of the Championship Scramble facing each other to prepare. Kendrick doesn’t see the point, which is why he is reading the Art Of War. Ezekiel Jackson on the other hand is enjoying something from Dr. Seuss, showing that he is the real genius.

Unforgiven rundown.

Shelton Benjamin talks about the importance of gold and he is the Gold Standard. Gah that really doesn’t work, especially with the golden hair.

HHH vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title. Benjamin wastes no time in snapping off some armdrags into an armbar and HHH is in early trouble. HHH fights up and takes over on the arm as well, allowing him to drive in some knees. Benjamin tries to get up and gets taken down by the arm again as HHH gets to stay on the arm. The threat of a Pedigree sends Benjamin bailing out to the floor and we take a break.

Back with HHH in trouble and Benjamin dropping him with a neckbreaker. A neck crank has HHH down again and Benjamin switches into a triangle choke. That’s reversed as well but Benjamin reverses a suplex into a neckbreaker, meaning it’s back to the neck crank as Benjamin certainly has a target.

HHH gets up again and avoids a Stinger Splash, setting up a hard clothesline. Benjamin goes up and dives into a powerslam, with HHH grabbing a DDT for two. Back up and Benjamin kicks him in the head for two but walks into a spinebuster. The facebuster connects but here is the Great Khali….who stands there as HHH hits the Pedigree for the win.

Rating: B-. This was a nice technical match with the ending making more sense than I would have expected. Khali showing up normally would make someone freeze but HHH finished the match off as fast as he could. That’s a good way to go and keeps HHH looking strong going into the title match. I could have gone without the US Champion taking a pin, but at least it was to someone higher up in the food chain.

Post match Benjamin hits HHH with the US Title and Khali gives HHH the chokebomb.

The lights go out in Vickie Guerrero’s locker room. She screams and the show ends. Yes, that’s all we got after this show long story.

Overall Rating: B-. This show was in a tough spot as the big title match is already set for the pay per view and there isn’t much that needs to be done. Thankfully the good action was there to help boost it up, but the only big thing all night was the Vickie Guerrero deal, which went absolutely nowhere. I liked the wrestling a good deal, but this was a show that was there because they needed to fill in a spot on the way to Unforgiven.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – June 27, 2011 (2025 Edition): Boom

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 27, 2011
Location: Thomas And Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

It’s Raw Roulette and that means it is time for things to get a bit gimmicky. There are going to be a variety of special stipulations this week and there is a chance that most of them are going to be less than serious. Yeah I can’t imagine that taking place around here either but let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, featuring Burn It To The Ground by Nickelback. Eh I still like it.

We open with a look at Raw Roulette, which will be hosted by Booker T.

Here is Special Guest Star (not host, because that’s a different thing) Shawn Michaels to get things going. Yes he promised to stay away, but he just couldn’t help himself…and gosh darn it, he missed the people too much. Now everyone who hosts this show has something to plug but that’s not his way. He’s not someone to plug his new show, Macmillan River Adventures, but did you notice his Twitter on the screen?

Cue CM Punk with the Tag Team Champions the New Nexus to interrupt. Punk talks about how he’s going to be leaving in July, just as WWE Champion. Michaels likes the idea of Punk leaving but Punk mocks Michaels for losing to Undertaker last year at Wrestlemania. Punk brags about being ready to beat John Cena, though Michaels says they’re cheering him over Punk because they know he’s better. Punk: “You were.”

Punk thinks that sounds like a challenge but Michaels says they have nothing in common. Michaels: “I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs.” Punk: “Anymore.” Michaels: “Fair enough.” Then Michaels superkicks David Otunga but we get an email from the Anonymous Raw General Manager, with Punk getting the first match tonight. He wants it to be with Michaels but we get a spin of the wheel, which earns him a mystery opponent. Then Booker T. says it’s Kane, which isn’t much of a mystery. Michaels superkicks Michael McGillicutty and wishes Punk luck.

CM Punk vs. Kane

Kane wastes no time in knocking him down and sending things outside, setting up a basement dropkick for two back inside. The side slam gets two but Punk manages a neck snap across the top rope for a needed breather. A kick to the head rocks Kane again and Punk gets to drive in some knees in the corner. Kane fights back and knocks Punk down again, which is enough for Punk to walk out at 3:39. As Cole points out, Punk shouldn’t care as he’s already the #1 contender, which does make sense.

Rating: C. This was more of an angle than a match and that’s not a bad thing. As commentary pointed out, what does Punk have to gain by fighting Kane in a long match here when he has a huge match coming up in less than a month? It’s not the best way to start out a night of gimmick matches as there wasn’t much of a gimmick, but at least they did something logical. At least by wrestling standards.

We get an ad for WWE Poker. I won $10 on there.

Sin Cara vs. Evan Bourne

The bell rings and we get another spin of the wheel, as done by Eve Torres for fairly apparent reasons: No Countout. This isn’t the best start, but at least the bell rings again rather than adding time for the spin. They fight over wrist control to start and Cara wristdrags him out to the floor. A baseball slide misses and Bourne takes him down back inside.

Bourne gets sent outside again though and this time the dive connects. Cara’s spinning sideslam is countered into a headscissors and they trade some rollups for two each back inside. A springboard corkscrew dive gives Cara two, with Bourne coming back with a standing moonsault for the same. Air Bourne misses though and Cara hits La Mistica for the pin at 4:52.

Rating: B-. It was a good, fast paced match with a bunch of dives, but the No Countout thing added pretty much nothing as they weren’t even outside long enough for a countout. Cara is one of those incredible “what if” cases as he was a mega star before coming to WWE and then did it again after he left. It never clicked in WWE though and the weird yellow lighting wasn’t helping anything.

Kofi Kingston gets to spin the wheel for his match against Dolph Ziggler, but here is Vickie Guerrero to spin instead. It’s Player’s Choice, with Kofi getting the pick. He’ll go with Vickie being banned from ringside, as this isn’t the most thrilling selection of matches so far.

Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler’s US Title isn’t on the line. Vickie handles Ziggler’s introduction and this was during his short hair phase, which really did not work in the slightest. Kingston knocks him to the floor to start and then does it again, this time for a slam on the outside. Ziggler gets in a posting though and we take an early break. Back with Kingston fighting out of a chinlock but missing a Stinger Splash, allowing Ziggler to hit a Fameasser for two. Kingston fights up again and hits a quick Trouble In Paradise for the pin at 7:55.

Rating: C+. These two fought roughly 183,485 times over the years and this was just another in their endless series. As usual, a reigning champion loses clean, though in this case it likely sets up another title match between the two of them. Also as usual, the stipulation meant pretty much nothing here, as Vickie just left instead of being there to cheat for Ziggler. It gives the idea that Kingston can beat Ziggler clean, but they could have had a better stipulation than this.

Booker, with Maryse, recaps the night when Alberto Del Rio comes in to complain about having to face Big Show again. Del Rio hits on Maryse, who spins the wheel for him and gets a cage match, which ends the flirting.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show

In a cage. Del Rio tries to escape to start and gets chopped down just as fast. Some kicks to Show’s bad knee give Del Rio two and he cranks on said knee in a smart move. Cue Mark Henry (feuding with Show) to watch from ringside but Show catches Del Rio going up for a superplex. Then Henry pulls the cage door off and throws it inside, with Del Rio escaping at 5:18.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to do much but again the point was advancing the story rather than anything about the match itself. Del Rio escaped rather than win here, which doesn’t make for the best match. Show vs. Henry will be a good battle of the monsters when we get there, though it didn’t exactly make for the best use of something like a cage.

Post match Henry hits Show with the door, knocking him through the wall for a huge crash. That always looks cool and was another step in Henry’s path to the World Title in a few months.

Cole and Lawler recap the Show vs. Henry feud, which seems like something that would have been better suited before the whole thing started.

Kelly Kelly vs. Nikki Bella

Kelly’s Divas Title (which she won from Brie Bella last week) isn’t on the line. The wheel makes this…a submission match, with Brie at ringside. That’s quite the choice. The submission deal, though Brie is quite the choice as well. Nikki takes her down by the arm to start and grabs a Fujiwara armbar of all things. Kelly reverses that into a Boston crab and Nikki taps at 1:13.

Post match Brie jumps Kelly but Eve Torres makes the save.

We look at Andy Leavine winning Tough Enough. He never went anywhere at all in WWE.

Rey Mysterio gets a tornado tag match but here is Diamond Dallas Page to come in and plug the new Monday Nitro DVD. A rather young looking Drew McIntyre comes in to say the two of them need to leave in ten minutes or else. Then Shawn Michaels superkicks McIntyre and talks about everything the DVD…which he has never seen.

The Miz/Jack Swagger vs. Alex Riley/Rey Mysterio

Tornado Tag. Swagger takes over on Mysterio to start and hits a quick backbreaker as Miz kicks Riley down on the floor. The Vader Bomb gets two on Mysterio but Riley sends Swagger outside for a seated senton from the apron. Mysterio gets sent into the post but Riley fights back on both of them. That’s broken up and a gorilla press gutbuster gets two on Mysterio.

Back up and Riley backdrops Swagger out to the floor, leaving Mysterio to kick Miz in the head for two. Swagger breaks up the 619 though, leaving Riley to get double teamed. Riley manages a Cactus Clothesline to take Miz outside and breaks up the ankle lock on Mysterio. That means a 619 into Riley’s implant DDT into Mysterio’s top rope splash for the pin at 11:58.

Rating: B-. It was nice to see a match get some time here with the stipulation actually having an impact. That really hasn’t been the case on the whole show and it helped out quite a bit here. Riley is one of those cases where he could have been a bigger deal but it just never came together for one reason or another, which is quite the shame.

R-Truth talks to Little Jimmy and gets a tables match with John Cena. Booker leaves out of fear.

John Cena vs. R-Truth

Cena’s Raw World Title isn’t on the line and R-Truth doesn’t have any music as he’s rather crazy (work with me here) at the moment. R-Truth hammers away to start and actually takes over in the corner but Cena fights back with a release fisherman’s suplex. Back up and Cena gets sent through the ropes for a crash, allowing R-Truth to crank away on both arms.

A dropkick puts R-Truth down but he slips out of the AA and hits his suplex Stunner. That means it’s time to put a table in the corner, only for Cena to get in a suplex for a breather. They go to the floor with R-Truth being sent into the steps so Cena can get another table. Cue CM Punk to move the table though, allowing R-Truth to spear Cena through another table for the win at 5:12.

Rating: C. Cena really doesn’t have the best luck in tables matches, which is kind of the point of the thing. They let him lose a match without taking a pin or giving up and that’s the entire point. Punk cost him a win here and that helps set up their title match at Money In The Bank, though the match is going to need a bit more than that.

With that out of the way, R-Truth leaves and Punk, who is wearing a Stone Cold Steve Austin shirt, grabs the microphone and sits down on the stage. Punk says that he hopes Cena is as uncomfortable as possible but before he leaves in three weeks with the WWE Title, he has a lot to get off his chest. He doesn’t hate Cena nearly as much as he hates some of the people backstage, but he hates this idea that Cena is the best in the world.

The reality is that Cena is the best in the world at kissing Vince McMahon’s a**. Cena might be as good at it as Hulk Hogan but maybe not as good as Dwayne. Punk: “Oops, I’m breaking the fourth wall.” Punk talks about being the best in the world since he got here, because Paul Heyman saw something in him. Punk: “Yeah I’m a Paul Heyman guy.” So was Brock Lesnar and Punk is leaving just like Lesnar, but Punk is doing it as WWE Champion.

Punk has grabbed so many imaginary brass rings that he has finally realized they are just that: imaginary. In six years, he has realized that the only thing that is real is him and he is the best around, but he isn’t on the cups or on the programs or on some bad USA Network show. He should be on Conan O’Brien or Jimmy Fallon but the fact that the Rock is in the main event of Wrestlemania next year makes him sick.

Those of you cheering him right now are a big part of the reason he’s leaving, because they’re buying all that stuff that he isn’t on, then they want him to sign it at the airport so they can sell it on eBay. He’ll win the WWE Title and maybe he’ll defend it in New Japan or go to Ring Of Honor. Punk: “Hey Colt Cabana, how you doing?”

Punk talks about how Vince McMahon is a millionaire rather than a billionaire because of people like John Laurinaitis. Maybe it will be better when Vince is dead, but his stupid daughter and his doofus son-in-law. Punk goes to tell us a personal story about Vince and bullying….but his mic cuts out. Punk yells at the camera to end the show.

I’ve been thinking about this one for a bit now that it’s over and I’m not sure where to start. In the nearly fourteen years since this took place, the promo has taken on a life of its own and turned Punk from a star into a Star in just a few minutes. Actually that’s one of the things that might stand out the most: this whole thing was just over six minutes long. In the days of the monologue style promos and seemingly endless exchanges between top names, seeing something have this kind of an impact in such a short time is remarkable.

Is it really that great of a promo? Kind of, but a lot of that is due to the way Punk was saying it. This felt like he meant every single word that he was saying and it made the fans hang on every word he was saying. Punk was talking about some fairly inside baseball things here and it was going in a direction that you don’t often see with wrestling. I’m not sure how great it was from a quality standpoint, but it certainly got and kept the fans’ attention.

With that being said, this is one of the most legendary promos in the history of WWE, and wrestling as a whole, for a reason. It was the suggestion that something was going to be changing, as you did not see anyone call out a bunch of these beyond the fourth wall issues. Punk got to open up and show that he’s one of the best talkers of all time, which had been kind of known before this, albeit not to this extent. It had people talking and while that only led to so much of a financial impact on the title match with Cena, Punk has lived off of this for a LONG time, despite him not even having the microphone for that long.

Overall Rating: D+. Well thank goodness Punk cut one of the most famous promos of all time and stole the night because this show was HORRIBLE otherwise. The rest of this show was a bunch of gimmicks for the sake of adding something to matches which didn’t make anything better. There is nothing to see here (save for the last seven minutes or so) and my goodness it is quite the mess, which is partially why Punk’s promo meant so much. Fans were wanting something, or really ANYTHING else and Punk was seemingly offering that. It only kind of worked, but wow what a start he really had with this all timer.

 

 

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Smackdown – August 22, 2008: That’s A Sorry Match

Smackdown
Date: August 22, 2008
Location: iWireless Arena, Moline, Illinois
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz

Summerslam has come and gone and the big story is that Undertaker destroyed Edge inside the Cell, which should get rid of him for a good while. Other than that, HHH dispatched the Great Khali in a match that was better than expected, meaning he’s going to need a new challenger. Let’s get to it.

Here is Summerslam if you need a recap.

We open with a look at the Smackdown matches from Summerslam.

Opening sequence.

Vickie Guerrero welcomes us to the show and says we haven’t been seeing the real her in recent weeks. Everything she has done has been because of Edge, because she corrupted who she was as a person. Now she is free to be her real self with Edge stuck in the same h*** he put her in. She has made some changes, and one of the things she feels the best about is reinstating the Undertaker. Another thing is the Championship Scramble at Unforgiven, which will see five people wrestling for twenty minutes with unlimited falls. Whoever gets the last fall will be WWE Champion. Tonight, we find out the competitors.

Maria vs. Natalya

Natalya fireman’s carries her down without much trouble to start but Maria reverses into a headlock. Back up and they fight over wrist control until Maria snaps off a snappy armdrag. Some kicks to the leg don’t work very well though as Natalya is back with a dragon screw legwhip. Natalya cranks on the leg until Maria fights up and hits some clotheslines. A Bronco Buster gets the fans a bit more interested…and here is Maryse to go after Maria for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This was little more than a few moves going on until the ending, which just kind of happened. Maria feels more and more like the Smackdown version of Kelly Kelly, who is the young, up and coming star who needs a lot more experience. The potential is there, but Maria is going to need some more time before it happens.

Post match the beatdown is on but Michelle McCool comes in for the save.

La Familia runs into the Big Show, who talks to Vickie Guerrero like a child. He’s happy for the Championship Scramble and he’s ready to face anyone in a qualifying match….but Vickie forgot to put him in one.

Championship Scramble Qualifying Match: Battle Royal

Scotty Goldman, Super Crazy, Armando Estrada, Funaki, Brian Kendrick, Curt Hawkins, Brian Kendrick, Jimmy Wang Yang, Vladimir Kozlov, Ryan Braddock

Big Show is sitting at ringside and this is one of the lamest battle royals I’ve ever seen. A bunch of people get together and toss Kozlov before Goldman is sent out as well. Then Show comes in and tosses most of the people, with Ezekiel Jackson saving Brian Kendrick…which is enough for Kendrick to win, as Show threw everyone else out and then stepped over the top (as apparently he was in).

Rating: D+. The match was barely a thing but points for a clever ending. I guess I’ll take this over another one off match with little in the way of drama, but this was more of a joke than anything else. That being said, they got through it quickly and Kendrick being in the title match is more interesting than most options.

Post match Kendrick does a victory dance for a nice touch.

R-Truth talks about how the truth is what you do when people aren’t watching. It’s about respecting who you are and getting better every day to build a better future. He’s been on the bottom but now he’s heading for the top.

Championship Scramble Qualifying Match: MVP vs. Festus

Jesse is here with Festus. Before the match, we hear from MVP at Summerslam, where he promises to win the WWE Title. Festus freaks out at the bell but MVP knocks him into the corner anyway. A suplex sends MVP down for two and a clothesline is good for the same. Festus fall away slams him into the corner, only for MVP to pull him into the post. The logical armbar goes on and MVP cranks away, with Festus finally fighting up.

Some fight hands connect while the left arm is left hanging but the bad arm is sent into the corner again. MVP cranks on the arm again….as we see a sign saying “I Love My Mommy And Grandma.” Well that’s just sweet. Festus fights up again and hits a running elbow, setting up something like a running seated senton. A big boot sends MVP outside, where he kicks Jesse in the face. That’s enough of a distraction for Festus to get counted out. Oddly there’s a delay between the ten count and MVP being declared the winner, with MVP’s music starting before the bell rings, making for a bit of a weird situation.

Rating: C-. It’s kind of odd to go with two fairly screwy endings in a row, especially when it’s a star like MVP against Festus, who is almost a novelty. Obviously it’s the right result, but you would think there would be a better way to go than a bunch of sitting around pulling on Festus’ arm. Pretty dull match here, with MVP being capable of better.

Post match the bell turns Festus off again so MVP boots him out to the floor.

Classic On Demand: Trish Stratus b. Stacy Keibler in a swimsuit contest. Same exact clip from Raw.

Championship Scramble Qualifying Match: Shelton Benjamin vs. Finlay

Non-title and Hornswoggle is here with Finlay. Before the match, Benjamin talks about how being a champion is about being obsessed with gold. He doesn’t like Olympic phenom Michael Phelps being called the new Gold Standard, because there is only one of them. Finlay wastes no time in taking Benjamin down for some face ripping before driving him into the corner.

A headlock grinds Benjamin down a bit so he bails into the corner for a needed breather. Back up and Benjamin tries to go low on Finlay, who takes him out to the floor where a lot of seething can ensue. They go back inside where Finlay can crank on the leg a bit, with Benjamin going to the ropes. A missed charge sends Finlay shoulder first into the post, giving Benjamin a rather nice target. The chinlock with a bodyscissors goes on, followed by one heck of a kick to the back of the head to have Finlay curled up in the corner.

Finlay bails to the floor for a second, where he ties a sliding Benjamin up in the ring skirt for some clubberin. Benjamin knocks him back into the apron though and we take a break. Back with Benjamin working on a neck crank Finlay jawbreaks his way to freedom for two but Benjamin grabs the neck again. Back up again and Benjamin hits a dragon whip, followed by the t-bone to cut Finlay down again for a delayed two. Finlay fights up but here is Mike Knox to go after Hornswoggle, allowing Benjamin to grab Paydirt for the fast pin.

Rating: C. They went pretty long here until the ending, which was more about setting up Knox vs. Finlay in an ECW feud. They could have done the same match in less time and things would have been that much better. Benjamin getting the nod is fine as it isn’t like he’s doing anything important with the US Title.

Post match Knox beats up Finlay a bit more.

We look back at Chris Jericho punching Shawn Michaels’ wife at Summerslam.

La Familia isn’t sure why Undertaker hasn’t arrived yet. Chavo Guerrero thinks he might even be holding a grudge. Maybe Vickie Guerrero should apologize?

Championship Scramble Qualifying Match: Jeff Hardy vs. Great Khali

HHH is on commentary. Hardy slugs away to start but is quickly knocked outside for his efforts. Back in and Khali stomps away before the nerve hold goes on. With Hardy ground down, the tree slam is loaded up (HHH looks nervous) but Hardy goes up to slip out. That earns him a chop out to the floor but Hardy is back in with a Twist of Fate. The Swanton is loaded up but Runjin Singh offers a distraction (Khali was about 80% of the way across the ring so that thing wasn’t coming close anyway). HHH isn’t having this and pulls him down before chairing Khali in the head. The Whisper in the Wind into the Swanton finishes for Hardy.

Rating: C. I’m hoping HHH has to deal with Khali again, as that was quite the heelish move for someone who was just trying to protect his title. Hardy is one of the hottest things in WWE at the moment so he almost had to be in the title match. It also wouldn’t have been the best idea to ask Khali to go for twenty minutes, so there wasn’t much of a choice to be made here.

Post break HHH is in the ring to talk about the challengers coming for the title in the Championship Scramble. The fifth person in that match is a 12 time World Champion and someone who has won everything in every kind of match. Cue Kenny Dkysktra to interrupt because he should be in the match too. The Pedigree lays him out in a hurry, with HHH saying it was good to see him.

Here is La Familia to offer an apology to Undertaker, complete with a standing ovation. Cue Undertaker, with Vickie (eventually) saying she gave Undertaker a chance for revenge on Edge at Summerslam and now she wants a chance to be forgiven. If Undertaker needs more time, they can do this next week and she even gets on her knees to beg him. Undertaker says “look at me woman” because he isn’t here for an apology, but rather Vickie’s soul. The fight is on with Undertaker getting beaten down for a bit, only to fight up and clean house. Undertaker does the throat slit to Vickie to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I do appreciate a show with a central theme running throughout, but this wasn’t their best effort. The qualifying matches set up a nice field for Unforgiven, but it would have been nice to have them be a bit less dull. The ending with Undertaker hunting Vickie isn’t the most thrilling thing either and feels like something rather simple and not that interesting. This show set up the one match at Unforgiven but it didn’t have me wanting to see anything until then.

 

 

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