No Mercy 2016
Date: October 9, 2016
Location: Golden 1 Center, Sacramento, California
Attendance: 14,324
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga

So for some reason someone wanted me to redo this show, though it was a few years ago (because that’s how long it takes me to get from stuff other than weekly shows) so there is a good chance they aren’t even around anymore. This is a Smackdown exclusive show, as we’re fresh off the new Brand Split, with a main event of new Smackdown World Champion Dean Ambrose defending against John Cena and Dean Ambrose. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Hype Bros/American Alpha vs. Ascension/Vaudevillains

This show is less than six years old and seven of these eight wrestlers are gone from the active roster. Gable wrestles English down to start and hands it off to Jordan. The Vaudevillains are taken down without much trouble so it’s Viktor coming in to headlock Ryder (who the fans really like). That doesn’t last long either as it’s off to the very hyped Rawley, who takes Viktor down as well. Everything breaks down and the good guys clear the ring to send us to a break.

Back with Ryder in trouble as Ascension takes turns beating him down. English comes in to stomp away and put on a chinlock of his own. Ryder’s escape attempt is driven (hard) back into the corner and Konnor comes in to glare. Ryder does manage to escape but Ascension is smart enough to pull his partners down. That doesn’t last long either as the hot tag brings in Jordan to clean house. Everything breaks down and Gable hits a high crossbody, setting up Grand Amplitude to finish English at 9:09.

Rating: C. The high level of chinlockery hurt this a bit but they did the right thing by having the entertaining teams go in there and do their thing. American Alpha was so good at what they did and the Hype Bros were indeed good at getting the crowd going. That left the Vaudevillains as passable heels and the Ascension as…..boy were those Vaudevillains decent heels.

The opening video has a Biblical theme, focusing on the major matches and asking for mercy for every bad thing people have done.

Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles

Styles is defending after having beaten both of them in singles matches and Cena is hunting for World Title #16. That being said, you would think someone with those skills would get a better reception than a JOHN CENA SUCKS chant. After the entrances, we get a video of Styles beating Cena at Summerslam and then Ambrose at Backlash to win the title. Shane McMahon made the title match and here we go, with Cena wanting the title and Ambrose saying Cena can’t do it anymore.

With that out of the way, we ring the bell and it’s a three way staredown to start. None of them can hit an early finisher so it’s a triple clothesline to put everyone down. Ambrose is up first and knocks them outside, with Styles being sent into the announcers’ table. Cena catches a diving Ambrose and drives him back first into the post, leaving Styles to hit the slingshot forearm.

Back in and Ambrose snaps Styles’ throat across the rope but can’t suplex him to the floor. That’s fine with Cena, who German suplexes both of them at once. With Ambrose knocked outside, Cena plants Styles for a quick two and is already looking banged up. Styles is fine enough to flip out of the AA though and an enziguri drops Cena. Ambrose comes back in and is promptly sent over the top for a crash onto the steps. The Code Red gives Cena two on Styles but the super AA is countered into a torture rack powerbomb for Styles’ own near fall.

Back up and Cena and Styles trade sleepers until Ambrose comes back in for one of his own on Cena. That’s broken up and Cena initiates the finishing sequence on Ambrose, at least until Styles puts Cena down for two. Ambrose faceplants Styles for two but gets sent outside, allowing Cena to beat on Styles. Hold on though as Ambrose comes back in with the standing elbow drop for two and the Phenomenal Forearm sends Cena outside.

Styles snaps off a super hurricanrana to Ambrose, who rolls it through into a sunset flip for two. A double clothesline leaves them both down so here is Cena again. The Shuffle hits Styles but Ambrose breaks it up, only to get caught with an AA for two. The STF has Ambrose in trouble but Styles makes the save and knocks Cena off the apron. Styles’ springboard 450 gets two on Ambrose so Cena comes back in to STF Styles, with Ambrose preventing the tap (how he is preventing Styles from saying I QUIT isn’t clear).

The double AA is broken up though and Styles kicks Cena in the head for another triple knockdown. Cena is back up and powerbombs Ambrose out of the corner but gets pulled into the Calf Crusher. Ambrose breaks that up and Calf Crushes Styles for a change, with Cena adding the STF.

Styles taps at 19:26 but since it was a double submission, it means nothing and they all keep fighting. That didn’t make sense when I watched it live and it still doesn’t now. Ambrose hits Dirty Deeds on Cena so Styles pulls the referee out, earning himself a suicide dive. Back in and Cena hits the super AA on Ambrose but Styles chairs Cena down and pins him to retain at 21:40.

Rating: B. They started big on this show and the three of them had a heck of a match in this spot. The match had a cool structure to it as Styles was doing the high flying, Ambrose was the wild brawler and Cena was there with the power. It made for a very good match, save for the dumb double pin thing. I’m not sure how much sense that makes, but Styles getting a pin in this spot is a great thing for his title reign.

We recap Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton. Bray targeted Orton and took him out at Backlash and it’s time for the two to fight.

Becky Lynch has a medical issue and can’t defend the Smackdown Women’s Title against Alexa Bliss but Bliss will still have a match.

Nikki Bella vs. Carmella

Nikki came back from injury earlier this year but got jumped by Carmella twice in the same night. Carmella jumps her again but gets thrown around by the hair as Nikki is doing her powerhouse thing. A baseball slide sends Carmella to the floor, where Carmella drops her throat first across the barricade. Nikki’s back is bent around the post as Carmella gets a bit more cocky (shocking I know).

We hit the chinlock with some screaming, though there isn’t much noise for it to cover. Nikki fights out and hits a kind of spear, setting up the Bella Buster (what a witty and clever name) for two. A small package gives Nikki the same so she smashes Carmella with the forearm. Carmella is fine enough to grab the Code Of Silence to send a screaming Nikki (I think?) to the ropes. The frustrated Carmella pounds away but gets caught in the Rack Attack 2.0 to give Nikki the pin at 8:05.

Rating: C. It’s kind of fascinating to look back at Nikki, as she really wasn’t that bad in the ring. The fans certainly liked her and she could do a good enough powerhouse match. The problem is that she got so much attention over the years and did had a limit to her skills, but knowing what else you could get in the division from the Women’s Revolution didn’t help things in the slightest. For now though, fighting through an injury to beat Carmella was a nice way to go and the match was hardly bad.

Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan (Smackdown bosses) are happy with how the show is going so far. Miz and Maryse come in with the former promising to retire Dolph Ziggler, which he blames on Bryan. No matter how many times you watch Rocky IV, Apollo Creed always dies. After he wins tonight, Miz wants to renegotiate his contract because some of that Ziggler money will be available.

Tag Team Titles: Heath Slater/Rhyno vs. Usos

Slater and Rhyno, the inaugural Smackdown Tag Team Champions, are defending after having won the titles at Backlash. This was part of a pretty entertaining story that saw Slater desperately trying to get a job anyway he could and winding up winning the titles with Rhyno as a result. Rhyno punches Jimmy into the corner to start and hands it off to Heath, who gets taken into the wrong corner so the twins can start up the beating.

The chinlock goes on for all of five seconds before Heath fights up and brings Rhyno back in. The Gore is broken up by a Jey distraction and the running Umaga Attack in the corner takes over. It’s time to start in on Rhyno’s knee, with Jimmy holding a kneebar so Jey can hit a basement dropkick. Rhyno fights up again and spinebusters his way to freedom, allowing the hot tag to Heath.

Everything breaks down and Jey hits a pop up Samoan drop for two on Heath. The double superkick is broken up but Rhyno gets dropkicked through the ropes. Jimmy goes up but gets powerslammed down (cool) for two. Back up and Jimmy hits the dropkick to the knee (an Usos standard) has Heath in trouble, only to have Rhyno come back with the Gore. The tag to Rhyno sets up another Gore to retain the titles at 10:18.

Rating: C+. This felt like a rather good TV match and given how new the titles still were, this was about as good as it was going to be. Slater and Rhyno were the feel good champions and aren’t likely to hold the titles very long, but at least they had a nice pay per view title defense on the way there. I’m thinking the Usos will be fine too.

Bray Wyatt is in his rocking chair and seems to be speaking in tongues. He shifts over to an English version of He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands and laughs a bit. More on this later I’m assuming.

We recap Jack Swagger beating Baron Corbin on Smackdown when Corbin might not have actually tapped.

Baron Corbin vs. Jack Swagger

Corbin starts fast by trying/missing the slide under the ropes clothesline, earning himself a clothesline out to the floor. Swagger goes out too but gets sent into the steps, which Corbin kicks onto his hand to put him in real trouble. The whip into the corner drops Swagger again and it’s back to the hand. Swagger powers up and hits a suplex, setting up the Vader Bomb for two.

Corbin knocks him down a few more times though and stands there, making it clear that Corbin’s original look wasn’t a great way to go for such posing. A quick ankle lock gets Swagger out of trouble but the hand gives out again. That and a shot to the eye set up End of Days to finish Swatter at 7:27.

Rating: D+. This is what you get from a Brand Split show, as you’re left with a still not very good Corbin getting match against Swagger that felt a lot longer than it was. Swagger was so done at this point but WWE kept putting him out there to come up shorter and shorter every time. Corbin would have a future, but there was A LOT of tweaking to do on the way there.

We recap Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler for the Intercontinental Title. Ziggler has been on a losing streak and isn’t sure if he can do this anymore. At the same time, Miz is on an absolute roll as Intercontinental Champion and has held the title since the night after Wrestlemania. Therefore, it was time for the latest Ziggler reheat, where he does one or two things rather well and gets us to this match. Somehow this was built around the idea of Ziggler never living up to his potential while showing the pretty lengthy amount of titles and accomplishments he has earned. Therefore, it’s title vs. career after a pretty nice package.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz

Miz, with Maryse, is defending and this is title vs. career. An early clothesline misses for Miz and Ziggler hits a dropkick for two. Another clothesline sets up a Cactus Clothesline and they’re both on the floor. A kick to the ropes slows Ziggler down on the way back in though and Miz sends him hard into the corner. The fans are suddenly all over Miz as he grabs a double underhook crank, followed by another clothesline.

Since he hasn’t done it in a bit, Miz channels Daniel Bryan with the surfboard leg stop, setting up another double arm crank. A neckbreaker sets up the running corner dropkicks but Ziggler hits his own dropkick to put them both down. Back up and Ziggler hits his own neckbreaker into the jumping elbow for two, meaning frustration can set in. They trade rollups for two, though Miz putting his feet on the ropes kind of takes away the balance.

Ziggler’s running DDT is countered but Miz’s standing version isn’t, leaving both of them down again. Miz starts in on the knee and, after having his slingshot powerbomb countered, grabs the Figure Four in the relative area of the center of the ring. The rope is eventually grabbed and Ziggler is able to hit the jumping DDT for two. With nothing else working, Miz takes a turnbuckle pad off and sends Ziggler into the steel, setting up the slingshot sitout powerbomb (maybe the fourth time he has tried it) for two more.

The YES Kicks rock Ziggler but he ducks the big one and hits the Zig Zag for two, with the fans WAY into this. The superkick is countered into a Skull Crushing Finale attempt, which is countered into a rollup to give Ziggler another near fall. Ziggler grabs the sleeper and this time it’s Miz grabbing the rope. With the referee checking on Miz, Maryse blinds Ziggler with the hairspray and the Skull Crushing Finale connects for….two, as Ziggler gets his foot on the rope.

That’s a BIG reaction from the crowd so the frustrated Miz goes right back to the leg. Ziggler loses his boot though and it’s a socked superkick for…no cover, as Maryse calls out the Spirit Squad. Ziggler takes one of them out but gets Skull Crushing Finaled for a VERY near fall. The Squad is ejected and it’s a superkick to give Ziggler the pin and the title at 19:47.

Rating: B. The action was good but the drama is what carried this one the entire way. The fans were WAY into this one and wanted to see Ziggler pull this off in the end. That is what happens when you build up a good story and make the fans want to see the payoff so well done on all counts. As usual, Miz continues to be able to have an awesome match when he has the right kind of setup and that is what they pulled off here. Not a classic, but a heck of a story.

Randy Orton looks at himself in a mirror and the reflection gets distorted.

The Kickoff Show panel chats about the show.

Alexa Bliss vs. Naomi

Naomi is a replacement for the injured Becky Lynch and comes out after Alexa goes on a long rant about Lynch. Bliss runs her over to start but gets kicked into the corner, setting up the split legged moonsault for an early two. Back up and Bliss hits a knee to take over again before starting in on the arm. The fans want Becky as Bliss cranks on the arm and shouts NO YOU DON’T.

We hit the seated armbar before some stomping sets up…uh…another seated armbar. Bliss: “You’re not on my level Naomi! They don’t even like you!” Naomi fights up and hits the Rear View (or at least close to it, as it looked like she didn’t make much contact) for two. Bliss goes for the arm but Naomi stacks her up for the pin at 5:24.

Rating: D+. Yeah this didn’t exactly work, with the big move from Naomi missing and the ending coming off as lame and out of nowhere. I’m sure they’re trying to set up some kind of triple threat or something close to it, but there is only so much interesting in whatever they’re doing. Bad match, though it was there in the death spot anyway.

Hell In A Cell rundown.

We recap bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton. Wyatt attacked him at Backlash and then did his usual mind games, only to have Orton do the same thing. In other words, more Bray Wyatt stuff to set up a feud and it’s the main event.

Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton

Dang the Fireflies are still an awesome look. Orton shoves him outside off a lockup to start and it’s time for some breathing. Back in and Orton pulls him down by the hair and then hammers away in the corner. Sister Abigail is broken up but so is the hanging DDT, with Wyatt pulling him outside this time. An RKO attempt is countered with a shove over the announcers’ table and Wyatt shoves him into the barricade to make it worse.

Back in and Orton fights out of the chinlock so Wyatt slams him down without much effort. Wyatt takes WAY too long to set up a middle rope backsplash and crashes down hard. Orton starts slugging away and hits a clothesline out of the corner but has to get out of Sister Abigail.

The powerslam gives Orton two but Wyatt hits a running crossbody for two of his own. Another RKO and Sister Abigail are countered but Wyatt hits the release Rock Bottom for two. They head outside again but this time Orton avoids the backsplash onto the steps. Back in and the hanging DDT connects for two….but then the lights go out and Luke Harper is here. The distraction sets up the Sister Abigail to give Wyatt the pin at 15:41.

Rating: C+. In other words, Wyatt does his usual match and then has some kind of screwy finish to get him on to whatever is next. In this case that would be Orton joining the Wyatt Family and then destroying it from within. Somehow this was worthy of a Wrestlemania World Title match, despite it only being a pretty good match in the first place.

Post match Wyatt and Harper hug to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The opener and Ziggler vs. Miz are enough to carry this but there is only so much that you can get out of a show with such weak stuff in the middle. There were some good matches on here, but the bad stuff drags it down that much better. Unfortunately with the Brand Split, there are only going to be so many ways to keep the interest up and it doesn’t seem likely to get much better than this. Good enough show here, but there are some obvious problems.

Here is the original review if you need a recap.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 12, 2022
Location: Moda Center, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Jimmy Smith

We are less than a month away from Extreme Rules and Raw could use some matches on the card. There are already some feuds going here and we should have a few things ready to go sooner than later. As for tonight though, this is all about the Edge/Rey Mysterio vs. the Judgment Day, because this story is still going. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Seth Rollins to get things going and the fans seem to approve. Rollins dubs himself the host for the evening and talks about how he is in Riddle’s head. Now Riddle wants a rematch, but since Rollins isn’t interested, it’s time to move on. Rollins hasn’t been a champion in far too long, but here is Riddle to start the fight fast. They fight into the crowd with Rollins managing a rake to the eyes and run off.

Riddle gives chase but here is Judgment Day to interrupt. Damian Priest says he, Rhea Ripley and Riddle go way back. They talk about how Riddle has never gotten his chance before and think he would fit in well on the team. Riddle appreciates the offer but passes, earning a threat from Balor. The fight is on and we’ll do this after the break.

Finn Balor vs. Riddle

Joined in progress with Riddle rolling some gutwrench suplexes and hitting a Broton. Balor starts going after the knee, including pulling it off the middle rope to send Riddle’s head into the buckle. The chinlock doesn’t last long but Balor neckbreakers him right back down to cut off the comeback. They fight to the apron with the reverse DDT planning Riddle as we take a break. Back with Riddle hitting a release fisherman’s suplex for a much needed breather. Riddle sends him outside and hits the kick to Balor’s chest, setting up the springboard Floating Bro onto Balor and Priest.

Back in and Priest offers a distraction so Balor can hit the Nightmare On Helm Street. Cue Rey Mysterio to post Priest and fight with him into the crowd so things are even again. A Bro To Sleep into a German suplex gives Riddle two but the Floating Bro hits knees. Balor misses the Coup de Grace and Riddle is back with the hanging DDT. Cue Rollins for a distraction, allowing Balor to hit 1916 and the Coup de Grace for the pin at 13:33.

Rating: C+. There was some interference, but Riddle needs to win a match of note sometime soon before he falls even further. The good thing is that very well could be at Extreme Rules, as you can all but pencil in Riddle vs. Rollins II in some kind of a big violent match. Other than that, Balor is probably heading for a showdown with Edge and that should work well when we finally get there.

Post match Rollins comes in for a Stomp to leave Riddle laying.

Bayley and Damage Ctrl aren’t happy with Bianca Belair, Raquel Rodriquez and Aliyah, but all will be made right tonight.

Dominik Mysterio is tired of just being Re Mysterio’s son and says Edge got what he deserved. Tonight, he’ll finish Edge for good, because he’s tired of living in Rey’s shadow. Rhea Ripley pops up to whisper in his ear, causing Dominik to say he isn’t a little boy anymore, but rather a man. Ripley smiles.

Video on Johnny Gargano.

Austin Theory doesn’t think much of Gargano and is looking forward to Chad Gable beating Gargano tonight. Gable comes in to say after tonight, it’s Johnny SHUSH!

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Damage Ctrl vs. Aliyah/Raquel Rodriguez

Aliyah/Rodriguez are defending and Bayley is here too. Rodriguez and Kai start things off with Rodriguez using the power to take over. Aliyah comes in for a clothesline and splash in the corner before it’s back to Rodriguez to run Kai over for two. Rodriguez launches Aliyah over the top and onto both champs as we take a break.

Back with Aliyah coming in and hiptossing Sky as Bayley isn’t pleased at ringside. Aliyah gets sent into the corner for the running boot to the face and seems to be favoring her arm. Kai comes back in to pull on both arms as Bayley says stick to the plan. Aliyah fights up and hits a double neckbreaker to get herself out of trouble.

The hot tag brings in Rodriguez to clean house but Aliyah is right back in. Sky hurricanranas Rodriguez outside, leaving Aliyah to hit a springboard X Factor for two on Kai, with Bayley putting the foot on the ropes. Rodriguez goes after Bayley, leaving Sky to moonsault down onto her. The Kairppractor finishes Aliyah for the pin and the titles at 12:09.

Rating: C. They more or less telegraphed this ending the second Aliyah and Rodriguez won the titles in the first place. Rodriguez more or less was the team as Aliyah can’t do much of anything on her own, so getting rid of Rodriguez pretty much guaranteed new champions. Damage Ctrl should have been the champions in the first place but at least we only had to wait for two weeks.

Rey Mysterio tries to talk Dominik Mysterio out of his match with Edge because it is a point of no return. They can still be family and fox all of this but Dominik won’t say anything. Rhea Ripley pops up to say Dominik is a man and doing what he wants, leaving Rey distraught.

Johnny Gargano vs. Chad Gable

Otis is in Gable’s corner. They go to the mat to start with a grapple off going nowhere. Gable takes him down by the arm but gets reversed into a headlock. Back up and a running hurricanrana into a crucifix gives Gargano two, setting up a front facelock. Gable gets up and hits Gargano in the face to take over, setting up a waistlock. Gargano knocks him to the floor though and hits the running dive to take Gable down again as we take a break.

Back with Gable working on the leg, which he banged up during the break. Gargano manages to send him to the corner though and the slingshot spear gets two. Gable is fine enough to pull him into the ankle lock though, followed by something like a Razor’s Edge Dominator for two. The moonsault misses so Gable settles for a nasty wheelbarrow suplex for two more.

What looked to be a top rope headbutt misses though and Gargano pulls him into the Gargano Escape. That’s reversed into another ankle lock, which Gargano breaks up as well. The American Automatic gets two and Gargano is back up with a discus lariat to leave them both down. Gargano sends him outside for a dive onto Gable and Otis, setting up One Final Beat (slingshot DDT) for the pin at 13:50.

Rating: B-. Gargano is back and that’s a good thing, though he wasn’t quite as sharp as he was at his best in NXT. That being said, he’s going to be fine as he has the Theory match all but guaranteed for down the road. Then you have Gable, and my goodness he better be grateful that he is this good in the ring. The SHUSH thing has turned him into another joke character, but it does get better when he’s in the ring and gets to show what he can do. And it’s still better than being called Shorty G.

Post match Otis goes after Gargano, who hits two superkicks and runs off. Theory pops up with a briefcase shot to drop Gargano though, meaning it’s selfie time.

Post break Theory is in the ring to ask if he disappointed the fans. Gargano needed someone to show him how this works but here is Kevin Owens to interrupt. Before Owens can say anything, Theory cuts him off and says he is sick of people interrupting him. He is too good to have this keep happening and he is going to take over this entire industry. Theory says he has done more in a few months than Owens has done in five years, but that’s too far for Owens.

That doesn’t work for Owens, who points out that Theory has had everything handed to him. Sure Owens’ Universal Title was handed to him, but that’s the only similarity between them and thank goodness for that. Owens says there have been a lot of guys like Theory to come along and a lot of them have failed. Then you have people like Owens and Gargano who have come along and you can count their success on one hand. They are the heart and soul of this business but people like Theory are the appendix of this business: completely disposable.

Owens doesn’t see it in Theory but begs him to prove him wrong. Theory needs to let his passion loose and get better every time he is in front of these people. That is how you prove him wrong and become the face of WWE. Theory says he’s just better than Owens, who decides to hit him in the face to get the point across. The brawl is on and referees/agents have to fail at keeping them apart. Theory, with his forehead and nose busted, gets away, with Owens saying that was just the beginning. This was a heck of a segment with Owens speaking from the heart as only he can.

Here is Bianca Belair for an open challenge. She announces said challenge, even though it was made clear before the break. Cue Sonya Deville to say she remembers what Belair did to her and that is why she isn’t Raw Women’s Champion. Belair: “This is an open challenge, not an open mic.” She wants a referee down here.

Raw Women’s Title: Sonya Deville vs. Bianca Belair

Belair is defending. They go with the grappling to start until Deville takes her into the corner and fires off the kicks to the ribs. A clothesline out of the corner gets Belair out of trouble and a suplex into a handspring moonsault gives her two. Sonya is sent outside and avoids a moonsault, setting up a heck of a clothesline as we take a break.

Back with Deville being sent into the corner, setting up the chinlock. Belair is sent outside and into the announcers’ table, setting up another chinlock back inside. A rollup gives Belair two but Sonya is back up with I think a middle rope knee for two of her own. Belair powers up and uses the corner to flip out of a dragon sleeper. The KOD retains the title at 12:07.

Rating: C. Well, at least it wasn’t a returning Carmella. Belair vs. Bayley is another match that is all but locked in already so there isn’t much of a reason to get worried about Belair possibly losing her title. Bayley should be all but ready to win the thing as Belair has gotten her two big Wrestlemania wins and is pretty much set for the rest of her career. Let the best woman in WWE get back to the top where she belongs.

Post match here is Bayley to say Belair has a big fat ego. Bayley says the match can happen later, but here are Iyo Sky and Dakota Kai to surround Belair. The brawl is on but Alexa Bliss and Asuka run in for the save. Well good thing Damage Ctrl got to win earlier, because they looked pretty lame here.

Omos vs. Cash Morazi/Ryan Tombs

Graves wants to call them Thing 1 and Thing 2 as the destruction is on. A double shoulder drops them and something like a cobra clutch has Morazi flailing. For some reason Tombs makes the save so Omos beats them up again. Two chokeslams set up the double pin at 1:38. It’s as good as any other way to keep Omos on TV.

Rey Mysterio tries to talk Edge out of the match but Edge says this has to happen.

We look back at Seth Rollins and Riddle earlier tonight.

Rollins declares himself the face of the show but Bobby Lashley comes in to say not so fast. Lashley mocks Rollins’ colorful gear but doesn’t see any gold, which determines the power around here. The title match is set for next week. Now there’s a fresh match that feels big and hasn’t been run into the ground before.

We get a special interview with Miz and Maryse at their home, with the kids running in for a cameo. Maryse comes in and mocks Miz for being scared about Dexter Lumis, who she guarantees will never be here. With Maryse gone, Miz refuses to talk about Lumis and refuses to talk about what Lumis did to him. Miz and Maryse leave to go to a premiere and Lumis is in their house, where he draws a picture of Miz and Maryse with their daughters. And Lumis is the good guy in this right?

Dominik Mysterio vs. Edge

Rhea Ripley is here with Dominik. Edge knocks him into the corner to start and this a headbutt as Dominik is in early trouble. Dominik is sent outside for a pep talk with Ripley, which goes badly for him as well. Some forearms do nothing for Dominik as Edge throws him back inside, only to have Ripley trip Edge down. Dominik sends him into the steps and we take a break.

Back with Dominik working on the knee, setting up the Three Amigos (which do not go very well. Dominik goes up top, does the Eddie dance, knocks Edge off, and hits the frog splash for two. Edge sends him shoulder/head first into the post and the comeback is on, including the Edge-O-Matic for two. The spear is loaded up but gets reversed into the half crab. That’s broken up and Edge ties him in the ropes and hammers away, only to have Rey run in and cut off the spear attempt. Edge shoves him away so here is Damian Priest to pull Rey outside. With Rey thrown over the announcers’ table, Finn Balor runs in for the DQ at 15:03.

Rating: D+. This was a rough sit and it made me feel sorry for Dominik all over again. Dominik is far from some colossal disaster in the ring and he can do his moves (well most of them at least) decently enough. The problem is that is the end of his talents. He doesn’t have charisma, he doesn’t show much fire, and most of what he does in the ring is flat out copying Rey or Eddie. I don’t want to see him in the ring and I have no interest in his issues with Rey and Edge. Making this the main event was a rough watch and odds are it is going to continue for whatever reason.

Dominik isn’t horrible at what he does, but he needs to get FAR away from Rey and wrestle on a show where he can get experience at a lower level. Throwing him straight into the WWE fire didn’t help him and while the Tag Team Title win with Rey was a genuinely nice moment, there is nothing there for him to make something like this work. Let him go somewhere else and find his own way, because this is crippling his career.

Post match the big beatdown is on, with a bunch of chair shots to Edge’s leg and the Coup de Grace to make it worse. Judgment Day poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I’m not sure what to make of this show, as WAY too much of it was focusing on Edge/Rey vs. Judgment Day, which hasn’t been interesting in a long time. Rollins vs. Riddle seems set for Extreme Rules and odds are Riddle costs him the match with Lashley next week. Other than that, there wasn’t much to see here and some of the momentum is starting to slip. Certainly better than the Vince shows, but they need to move on from this Dominik obsession fast because it’s dragging everything else down.

Results
Finn Balor b. Riddle – Coup de Grace
Damage Ctrl b. Raquel Rodriguez/Aliyah – Kairopractor to Aliyah
Johnny Gargano b. Chad Gable – One Final Beat
Bianca Belair b. Sonya Deville – KOD
Omos b. Cash Morazi/Ryan Tombs – Double pin
Edge b. Dominik Mysterio via DQ when Finn Balor interfered

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: December 21, 2007
Location: Blue Cross Arena, Rochester, New York
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We have a new World Champion around here as Edge defeated Batista and Undertaker in a triple threat match at Armageddon. That is going to be a big change of pace as we head into the new year but now Edge needs a new challenger for the Royal Rumble. I doubt we find out who that is tonight but maybe there is something else out there. Let’s get to it.

Here is Armageddon if you need a recap.

Teddy Long wheels Vickie Guerrero to the ring and we look at Edge winning the World Title at the pay per view. Back in the arena, Vickie introduces Edge, who is officially presented with the title by Teddy. Edge isn’t sure who he should thank first before starting with Teddy. Then he thanks the fans, the Edgeheads, but there are two in particular, so here are the Major Brothers (who weren’t identified on Sunday).

They just went by the Major Brothers to get noticed, and now we get to meet the real people: Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder. With that out of the way, Edge thanks the real star here by kneeling next to Vickie. Edge declares her the love of his life (again) and we get a music video of the two of them together in a park, at dinner, under a gazebo and more.

Back in the arena, Edge needs to talk about Batista, who doesn’t need to carry the show anymore. Tonight, after Batista loses his rematch, the last image you will be seeing is Edge holding up the title. This was the big celebration, but Edge now having Ryder and Hawkins makes him a bit more dangerous.

Great Khali/Runjin Singh vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle

Singh is in a copy of Khali’s gear and mocks his pose for one of the few out of the ordinary things he has ever done in WWE. Finlay’s right hand to Khali doesn’t do much to start as Khali throws him into the corner. A big boot puts Khali down as JBL wants to know what isn’t big on Khali. Singh comes in, or at least gets tagged, as Hornswoggle pulls his pants down on the apron.

Everything breaks down and Khali is knocked down on the floor, leaving Finlay to throw water at Singh (as Hornswoggle hides under an umbrella). Back in and a giant swing sets up the Tadpole Splash to finish Singh. Not enough shown to rate, but this was comedy and nothing more.

Dancing ensues post match.

Here is Ric Flair for a chat. Flair wishes us a Merry Christmas, because it might be the last chance he gets to in a WWE ring. He got to see everyone here today and he respects all of them. Anyone who knows him knows that he has been in the ring for 35 years and he has only want to be the best. Now Vince McMahon has decided that the next time Flair loses a match, he has to retire.

In ten days, he has to face the greatest wrestler alive today, HHH. That’s who Flair has said he wanted to face in his final match, just for some irony. Five years ago, he came back here and wasn’t in a good place, but HHH told him to go be himself. Therefore, Flair knows that HHH is going to bring the best he can. Flair loves HHH as a brother, but if he loses, he’ll have no regrets. This was serious Flair and he made the match feel a lot bigger.

Maryse, in a bit of a Mrs. Claus outfit, welcomes us back and wants us to keep her warm.

Rey Mysterio/CM Punk/Kane vs. Big Daddy V/Mark Henry/MVP

Kane and Henry start things off with Henry taking him into the corner for the heavy right hands. That’s reversed so Kane can get the better of things but Punk comes in and gets knocked away without much effort. MVP runs Punk over but gets caught with the running knee in the corner. A rollup gives Punk two and it’s a six man standoff as we take a break. Back with Rey coming in to kick MVP in the head and snap off an anklescissors. It’s quickly off to Punk vs. Big Daddy V, the latter of whom plants Punk without much trouble.

A gorilla press slam makes it even worse and MVP comes in to work on an armbar. Henry gets in some choking but it’s right back to MVP, who gets enziguried down. The hot tag brings in Kane to clean house, including the side slam to drop MVP. The top rope clothesline sets up a moonsault from Rey Mysterio but Henry breaks up the 619. Everything breaks down and Punk knees Henry in the corner, setting up the 619. A chokeslam and the springboard splash are enough to finish Henry.

Rating: B-. This got some time and built up rather well until the hot ending saw the good guys slay a monster. The time is a big factor here as there were multiple stories going on at once and you need the extra few minutes to make that work. They pulled it off here and I had a nice time with the match as a result. Well done and a near hidden gem.

We look at Edge winning the World Title again.

We see Jamie Noble and Michelle McCool on their date at a restaurant, which looks quite a bit like the backstage room at any given WWE TV show. Noble seems to be in a little over his head with the menu and shocked at the prices, but he wants Michelle to meet his granny. Then he tries to order a bunch of French food (fries, onion soup etc) because it’s a French restaurant.

The waiter can’t do that so Noble goes on a bit of a crazed rant (Jean Claude Van-Damme is mentioned) before he is told this is actually an Italian restaurant. Later, after dinner, Noble gives her a gift: Old Spice cologne so she can smell him when he’s gone. Noble talks about hunting and fishing, plus enjoying magic. He tries to pull the tablecloth out and….yeah. Noble: “Check please!”

Festus vs. Deuce

And they’re both Santa Claus. The bell rings and Festus pulls on his beard before unloading in the corner. Deuce (Santa Deuce actually) gets in a knee to the ribs and starts clubbering before taking out the knee. Festus is sent outside and then brought back inside for a chinlock, which of course triggers the comeback (as chinlocks are known to do). Some uppercuts set up a splash and, after Jesse takes out an interfering Deuce, a fireman’s carry into a flapjack is enough to give Festus the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here and the Christmas deal was pretty tacked on. This match didn’t do much for me other than show how weak the tag division is at the moment, as you have Miz and John Morrison running roughshod over the division and Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly as champions on the other show. How good can the divisions really be with that kind of depth?

And now, an address from JBL (he has a podium). This is going to be his final appearance on Smackdown because he is getting back in the ring to deal with Chris Jericho. It will be a bigger comeback than anyone has ever seen and we see a clip of JBL costing Jericho the Raw World Title at Armageddon. All Jericho had to do was apologize for bumping into JBL but instead Jericho treated him as an afterthought. JBL isn’t coming back to be in the opening match in Poughkeepsie because he is going to prove that he is the only wrestling god.

Maryse is hanging Christmas ornaments and wishes us Happy Holidays.

Tazz takes JBL’s place on commentary.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Batista

Batista is challenging…but hang on because Vickie Guerrero has a better idea.

Smackdown World Title: Edge/Edgeheads vs. Batista

Batista is still challenging. Curt Hawkins starts things off for the team and gets pummeled in the corner. An Edge distraction lets Hawkins get in a cheap shot so Ryder can come in. Edge has to break up the Batista Bomb and we take a break. Back with Edge stomping on Batista and dropping an elbow to make it worse. Batista fights up but misses a charge into the post.

That doesn’t seem to mind as he runs Edge over and does the same to the Edgeheads without much trouble. The spinebuster is enough to pin Ryder for the title and yeah I wouldn’t buy it either. Vickie says not so fast as Batista has to pin Edge (points for a false finish) so he pulls Edge back in for a top rope shoulder. The Batista Bomb is loaded up but Hawkins brings in the chair for the DQ.

Rating: C. They kept this fast paced and gave us the (not exactly convincing) fake out but you can only get so much out of Batista beating up Edge’s new goons. Giving Edge lackeys is a good thing though and they should serve him well in the future. For a debut as a team it went well, but this felt like a house show main event rather than something big.

Post match Edge hits a Conchairto and wishes us a Merry Christmas to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Much like the rest of the TV from this week, it was pretty clear that they weren’t going to put in the biggest effort between a pay per view and the holiday break. Throw in the Royal Rumble being about a month away and there was little reason to do much on this show. The six man was good, but the rest of the show was little more than a filler week.

 

 

 

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Summerslam 2022
Date: July 30, 2022
Location: Nissan Stadium, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s time for one of the biggest shows of the year and that means we are in another stadium. The show is going to be interesting for a few reasons, including the fact that it is the first Summerslam ever not under Vince McMahon’s watch. That means we might be seeing something new this time around so let’s get to it.

The opening video features a country song about Nashville and how it’s a crazy town. The rest of the video looks at the major matches, with Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar not getting that much of a focus above the rest.

Raw Women’s Title: Bianca Belair vs. Becky Lynch

Lynch is challenging. They go to the mat to start with Belair running her over, only to have Lynch snap the arm to take over. Back up and Belair backflips away, setting up a release Glam Slam. A standing moonsault gives Belair two but Belair’s arm is banged up. They head outside where a KOD drops Lynch onto the barricade but she holds the arm and slams Belair into the barricade as well.

A legdrop to the back of the neck makes it worse and they head inside with Belair in trouble. Belair gets sent into the corner for a kick to the back before getting taken down into a weird armbar. With that broken up, Lynch dropkicks her to the apron but another middle rope legdrop is countered into a powerbomb (that’s a new one). Belair knocks her outside for another Glam Slam onto the apron and a suplex on the floor drops Lynch again.

Back in and Belair’s arm gives out on a slam attempt, allowing Lynch to bust out Diamond Dust for two. Lynch goes to the hair but Belair pulls her up into an old Big Show Alley Oop of all things. The KOD is countered into a failed Disarm-Her attempt so they roll outside with the KOD connecting on the floor. Back in and another KOD is blocked so Belair hits a spinebuster. Lynch is back up to pull her off the top though and it’s the Manhandle Slam for two. This time it’s Lynch going up but a Spanish Fly brings her back down. The KOD retains the title at 15:03.

Rating: B. The problem here is that it’s a rematch from one of the better things WWE has done in a very long time. There was nowhere near the same level of urgency or anything close to it and that is because the feud ran out of steam. It’s still a good match and these two feel like some of the bigger stars in the division, but you’re only going to get so far with a match we saw done bigger and better less than four months ago.

Post match respect is shown….and then Bayley is back. Bayley walks down the aisle….and then Dakota Kai does as well. And so does Io Shirai. The trio gets in the ring and stares down Belair, but Lynch gets back up and a staredown sends Bayley and company leaving, with Bayley putting her arms around them. Well there’s your big start.

We recap Logan Paul vs. The Miz. They teamed together at Wrestlemania and won, but then Miz attacked him. Paul has since signed and now he wants revenge.

Logan Paul vs. Miz

Ciampa and Maryse are here with Miz, who gets a chant about the size of his anatomy. Miz has has a Polaroid around his neck of him attacking Paul in a nice touch. Paul gets taken down but is ready for the basement boot to the face. Instead, Miz kicks him down a bit more slowly and mocks Paul, who doesn’t look pleased. Paul takes him down and teases a YES Kick before shifting to the boxing.

Back up and Miz pulls him off the middle rope and hits a Codebreaker. After a cheap shot from Ciampa and a chinlock that doesn’t last long, Miz misses the running clothesline in the corner and Paul has an opening. A Blockbuster and powerslam give Paul two each and he fires off some YES Kicks. The Figure Four rubs it in to Miz a bit more but he makes the rope. Ciampa gets in another cheap shot and is ejected, only to have him sit down in a chair.

Cue AJ Styles to jump Ciampa, leaving Paul to hit a not so Phenomenal Forearm for two. With nothing else working, Paul takes him outside and loads up the announcers’ table for a heck of a frog splash (that got some serious distance). Maryse offers a distraction so there’s no count, Miz loads up the Polaroid but has to pause before hitting Maryse. Paul grabs a Skull Crushing Finale for the pin at 14:13.

Rating: C+. All things considered, this was pretty good, with that frog splash being a major highlight that is going to be shown for a long time to come. Paul has a good look and the athleticism to back it up, meaning he could have a future in this business. Miz was put there because he was going to guarantee a safe match that he could keep together and he pulled that off well here. Not a great match, but for a celebrity in his second match, Paul looked rather good.

The Maximum Male Models shill Pure Life Water.

US Title: Theory vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is defending after taking the title from Theory at Money In The Bank. Theory jumps him from behind with the Money In The Bank briefcase before the bell but Lashley says ring the bell. Some forearms to the back keep Lashley in trouble but he’s right back with a big spinebuster. That’s enough for Theory and he tries to leave, only to have Lashley cut him off. Lashley swats away a toss of the briefcase and takes things back inside, where the spear hits the post by mistake. He’s fine enough to load up a gorilla press and then drops Theory into the Hurt Lock to retain at 4:38.

Rating: C-. This was near dominance for Lashley, who shrugged off everything Theory threw at him and then won in the end. The briefcase shots can only get you so far and the rest of the match was pretty much downhill for Theory. I’m still not sure why they needed to do this match again, but Theory continues to fall apart after being thrown into a ladder match for his lone big win in a rather long time.

Judgment Day vs. Mysterios

No DQ and Rhea Ripley is here with Judgment Day. They start fast with Dominik hitting a big suicide dive on Balor, leaving Rey to Lionsault Priest. An armdrag out of the corner rocks Balor again but he’s back with some choking on the ropes to slow Dominik down. Priest and Balor start taking turns on Dominik until he gets in a shot of his own, allowing Rey to come in and pick up the pace.

Balor throws in a chair but Rey takes it away and starts swinging, at least until Priest drops him with a superkick. Rey fights back and tries the 619 but Balor makes the save, only to get caught on top. The double 619 is loaded up but Rhea Ripley pulls Dominik outside and drops him on the apron. Priest gives Rey the South of Heaven chokeslam but here is the returning Edge to spear Balor. Edge helps set up a 619 into the springboard splash to give Rey the pin on Balor at 11:05.

Rating: C. I wasn’t interested in the match before it was announced and I wasn’t interested in how it went. These teams have fought each other time after time now and there is little reason to get interested in them again. The Edge return was a nice moment, but it would have been better to have him appear on Raw rather than here to avoid doing the tag match again. Oh and thank goodness Balor took another fall, just in case you hadn’t gotten the point yet.

We recap Pat McAfee vs. Happy Corbin. McAfee is happy to be on commentary and laughed at Corbin for losing. Corbin jumped him and wants revenge, so it’s time to have a match on the big stage. There is a personal connection here too, as they were roommates when they played in the NFL.

Happy Corbin vs. Pat McAfee

McAfee has a choir interrupt Corbin’s entrance by singing BUM A** CORBIN for an interesting way to go. Corbin talks trash to start and gets superkicked, setting up a hurricanrana out of the corner. A clothesline puts Corbin on the floor so McAfee puts him on top but gets shoved into his moonsault. That’s fine with Corbin who dropkicks him into the corner so the beating can begin.

Some forearms and right hands send McAfee outside where Corbin whips him into the barricade. Back in and Deep Six gives Corbin two so he tries the slide under the bottom rope (Cole: “Shades of the Boss Man at Summerslam 1991.”) but gets kicked in the face. McAfee hits a dive but gets sent onto the announcers’ table, with Corbin talking trash to Michael Cole.

Back in and Corbin goes up, with McAfee charging the corner and superplexing him back down for two. A missed charge sends Corbin into the post and outside, leaving McAfee to go up top. After almost falling, McAfee flip dives onto Corbin (Cole: “The Swan-Tone Bambini!” Graves: “THE WHAT?????”) and they head back inside. The referee gets bumped so McAfee kicks him low (with Cole pointing out that it was payback for last night when Corbin did the same), setting up a middle rope Code Red (and not a great one, as it might have been a botched Canadian Destroyer) for the pin at 10:35.

Rating: C. Yeah they missed a bit here, as McAfee wasn’t quite on par with his previous performances. They had some very near botches (that slip before the flip dive could have been terrible) but they pulled it together well enough. Much like Miz, Corbin is the kind of guy who is there to walk McAfee through the match, even if Corbin in control isn’t the most fun. McAfee was off tonight, but remember that this is his fourth or so career match. It’s going to happen at some point.

We look at Drew McIntyre beating Sheamus to become the new #1 contender.

Here is McIntyre to talk about being ready to challenge Roman Reigns or Brock Lesnar at Clash At The Castle. McIntyre: “Let’s talk about Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER! Uh…..in Nashville! In a last man standing match! In front of…..what’s your name?” Fan: “Colt!” McIntyre: “IN FRONT OF COLT, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!” Anyway, he’s ready to win and gets some fireworks.

We recap the Usos vs. the Street Profits. The Usos won at Money In The Bank but Montez Ford’s shoulder was up. That and some other screwy decisions meant that a guest referee was needed so….Jeff Jarrett was brought in. Sure.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Street Profits

The Profits are challenging and come to the ring with the Tennessee Titans cheerleaders. Dawkins and Jimmy start things off with Jey coming in rather quickly. The top rope Demolition Decapitator gets two and Jey grabs a chinlock to keep him down. The Umaga attack in the corner connects and the Usos get to do the NUMBER ONE thing. Another Umaga attack misses though and Dawkins’ enziguri allows the tag to Ford so house can be cleaned.

A running Blockbuster gets two on Jey with Jimmy making the save. Jey is back with a pop up neckbreaker on Ford but he’s back up to send the Usos outside. Dawkins hits the big running flip dive onto both of them, setting up the lifting swinging neckbreaker for two on Jimmy. Everything breaks down and some superkicks set up the Superfly Plash to Dawkins for two.

Ford comes in but gets dropped again, allowing the Usos hit hit the stereo Superfly Splashes on Dawkins. That’s broken up as well and everyone is down for a breather. Dawkins is back up with a spinebuster into Ford’s frog splash for two, meaning Ford stops to yell at Jarrett. Ford hands it back to Dawkins but loads up a dive to the Usos, who kick him in the knee to cut him off. Double superkicks on the floor and in the ring drop Dawkins, setting up the 1D to retain the titles at 13:21. Jarrett was barely a factor here.

Rating: C+. What in the world was the point of that? They built up the Profits as the kingslayers and then they just lose like they have before, with the guest referee meaning nothing? I’m not sure where this is supposed to go, as the Profits have nothing left to do and the only team worth going after the Usos is the Viking Raiders. The Usos are beyond stale as champions and much like Reigns, they’re out of challengers, so what are we supposed to do now?

Riddle runs through the crowd and wants Seth Rollins out here for a fight right now. Security tries to get rid of Riddle but here is Rollins anyway. Cue Rollins so the fight is on, with Rollins hitting another Stomp to leave Riddle laying.

We recap the Smackdown Women’s Title match with Liv Morgan defending against Ronda Rousey. Morgan won Money in the Bank and cashed in on the same night on a banged up Rousey. Tonight, Morgan needs to prove she can do this.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Liv Morgan vs. Ronda Rousey

Morgan is defending and gets kicked down to start. The ankle lock is broken up and Morgan is back with a Codebreaker. Oblivion is broken up and Rousey goes for the armbar, which is reversed into the Rings of Saturn. A crucifix bomb gives Morgan two but Rousey gets another armbar in the ropes.

Back in and the armbar goes on again but this time Morgan makes the rope. Another armbar sends Morgan rolling to the ropes again and we pause for the doctor to look at Morgan’s arm. Morgan insists that she can go but Rousey pulls her into a cross armbreaker. That’s stacked up for a pin on Rousey at 4:35….with Morgan tapping at the same time. Morgan retains, even though the tap came first as shown on replay.

Rating: C-. I had a bad feeling they would pull something like this, as Morgan won but only after getting wrecked by Rousey for a few minutes. As usual, WWE is hesitant to add someone to the main event scene and it makes for some lousy moments like this one. Either let Liv get the big win or give it back to Rousey, but enough of this “well we’ll see” stuff. Rousey looked good and will probably get a rematch, but my goodness the halfhearted push is annoying.

Post match Rousey goes after the arm again and beats up the referee for a bonus as we seem to have a heel turn.

Kane is here to announce the attendance of 48,449. I understand he has some questions about that count.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar. They’ve fought a lot before and now they’re doing it again, this time in a Last Man Standing match, which is billed as their final match. Theory is also lurking around with the Money In The Bank briefcase.

WWE Universal Title: Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Reigns is defending in a Last Man Standing match…..and Lesnar rides to the ring in a tractor. Lesnar cuts off Paul Heyman’s entrance and does his own, while standing in the….whatever you call the part of a tractor that holds stuff. Lesnar dives out of the tractor to start and Reigns is knocked outside, setting up a big overhead belly to belly. They fight over to the lighting structure and knock each other into it, with Lesnar getting the better of things again.

A German suplex sends Reigns flying again so it’s table time. Heyman begs enough for a distraction, allowing Reigns to Samoan drop Lesnar through the table. Reigns puts him through another table and takes it back inside for a pair of Superman Punches. The spear keeps Lesnar down for a bit but a second attempt is countered into a failed F5 attempt. Reigns gets sent outside in a heap so Lesnar goes to the tractor.

With that going nowhere, he hits Reigns in the head with a piece of the table for about six. Lesnar throws Reigns into the bucket of the tractor, raises him up, and then drops him down into the ring. With that not working, Lesnar rolls some German suplexes and hits an F5 for nine. Another F5 is countered into a guillotine, which Lesnar reverses into one of his own. Reigns is mostly out but dives back to the ropes to break the count at nine.

Lesnar gets back in the tractor….and starts ramming the ring. Then he lifts the ring up to send Reigns sprawling out onto the floor but here are the Usos for the save. Lesnar dispatches them so Heyman tries to call it off, only to get F5’ed through the announcers’ table (they’ve been teasing that for a LONG time). Reigns is back up with a spear and they’re both down…so here is Theory to cash in.

A briefcase shot drops Reigns but Lesnar F5’s Theory onto the briefcase. The Usos are back up with a double superkick for nine, followed by a spear for nine more. Reigns unloads with the briefcase for nine more, followed by a belt shot, but Lesnar gets up again. A shot with the other belt knocks Lesnar down and the Bloodline piles a bunch of stuff onto him before standing on top of it to retain at 22:44.

Rating: B-. This is going to be the really divisive match of the night and that isn’t a surprise. They did a lot of stuff and the match was a total spectacle, but they lost me at the end with Reigns knocking him down for nine over and over. It’s a good example of a match that needed to be trimmed down by a few minutes to hammer the point home better. At the same time, I’m sure the fans on the other side of the ring loved looking up at the video screen, because those front row tickets are pretty worthless when the ring is halfway on its side for the last seven minutes of the match.

The other problem here is simple: who in the world is supposed to be able to stop Reigns? Drew McIntyre is the next big challenger, but is that their solution? McIntyre has already had his time and while you can’t really gauge things from the pandemic, I don’t know how much of a success it was. Reigns has cleared out the company by this point, and they are going to need something special to get the title off of him, whenever they finally do it.

Reigns and the Bloodline celebrate for a long time to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was kind of all over the place, with a good first half, a pretty lame second half, and a main event that will probably have a lot of people mad. The best part was the overall feeling though, as it did feel more loose, with commentary sounding like humans instead of buzzword machines. The show didn’t go too long and was over in less than four hours, but it didn’t have anything great and not much really happened. Not an awful show, but if this was supposed to be the big relaunch, they’re only a little bit of the way there (and that was mainly after the first match).

Results
Bianca Belair b. Becky Lynch – KOD
Logan Paul b. Miz – Skull Crushing Finale
Bobby Lashley b. Theory – Hurt Lock
Mysterios b. Judgment Day – Springboard splash to Balor
Pat McAfee b. Happy Corbin – Code Red
Usos b. Street Profits – 1D to Dawkins
Liv Morgan b. Ronda Rousey – Rollup

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 25, 2022
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

We’re officially in an all new era as Vince McMahon is completely gone and HHH is now in charge of creative. That may sound very interesting on paper but I would give it another week before you see any major changes. There might be some surprises here and there this week though as it’s the go home show for Summerslam. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with Miz and Logan Paul mid-brawl in the ring with referees having to break it up. There’s your fresh way of starting the show.

With that out of the way, here is the Bloodline for a chat. Roman Reigns gets to the point by having the Garden acknowledge him before handing it off to Paul Heyman. After the mic goes out (Heyman: “We have a sound guy that must be from New Jersey or something. We want your name written down. You’re the next one out the door.”), we hear about everything Brock Lesnar has done over the years.

Lesnar has ruined a lot of things over the years, including the Streak, but he won’t do that on Saturday when Roman Reigns nears 700 days as Universal Champion. Reigns is tired of hearing about Lesnar every time you mention his name so it is time to send Lesnar back to Canada to slaughter a bunch of hogs. Heyman explains the concept of Last Man Standing, which is how Reigns is finally going to get rid of Lesnar once and for all.

Now cue Theory with the briefcase, but Reigns says that if you’re going to come out here, get in the ring and acknowledge the Tribal Chief. Theory stares Reigns down, but Reigns says that Theory’s daddy isn’t here to protect him anymore. Fans: “WHO’S YOUR DADDY?” Reigns says it’s going to be him if Theory doesn’t mind himself. The Bloodline goes to leave but Jimmy Uso taps Theory on the neck. A briefcase shot to the back…actually doesn’t get any reaction from Jimmy, as the Bloodline leaves in peace.

Post break Theory is still in the ring but Drew McIntyre cuts him off.

Theory vs. Drew McIntyre

McIntyre starts fast and hammers away with the power but gets caught with a jawbreaker. Theory gets to stomp away in the corner until McIntyre blasts him with a clothesline. Futureshock connects but Theory rolls outside before the Claymore can launch. That’s cool with McIntyre, who drops him chest first across the announcers’ table as we take a break.

Back with Theory sending him outside and then whipping him hard into the steps. Back in and McIntyre reverses a suplex into one of his own before winning the slugout. The Claymore is loaded up again but here are the Brawling Brutes to jump McIntyre for the DQ at 9:37.

Rating: C. I liked this one well enough as you had Theory in there with a fresh opponent but he also didn’t use the briefcase for the DQ. It was nice to not go with the obvious ending that Theory has been using as they actually mixed it up a bit. Now just let Theory win a match and we might be getting somewhere.

Post match the beatdown is on until Bobby Lashley makes the save. Theory has to bail before he gets wrecked as well.

Bobby Lashley/Drew McIntyre vs. Theory/Sheamus

Joined in progress with Lashley beating on theory before handing it off to McIntyre. A cheap shot from behind puts McIntyre down though and it’s Sheamus coming in to choke away in the corner. The Irish Curse plants McIntyre and Sheamus hammers away but he won’t tag Theory back in.

That’s enough for McIntyre to get in the Glasgow Kiss and bring Lashley back in. Sheamus gets suplexed and knocked outside, where Lashley’s spear to Theory is cut off by Sheamus’ knee. Butch gets in the ring for a distraction so Ridge Holland can go after McIntyre. That’s fine with McIntyre, who suplexes Butch onto Holland, earning the Brutes an ejection and we take a break.

Back with Lashley fighting out of a chinlock but getting knocked down again so Sheamus can come back in. Lashley spinebusters his way to freedom and the hot tag brings in McIntyre to clean house. A Sky High gets two on Theory but McIntyre gets low bridged to the floor, leaving Lashley to hit the big spinebuster on Theory. Sheamus breaks up the cover with a top rope knee so McIntyre takes him outside. The fight is on until Sheamus hits the White Noise on the floor. Theory is back up but cue Dolph Ziggler for a distraction so Lashley can grab the Hurt Lock for the tap at 12:20.

Rating: B-. This got some more time and advanced Lashley vs. Theory a bit more. Sheamus vs. McIntyre is already set for Friday so they got a little extra time of their own here. It might not have been the best match but it was an effective bit of storytelling and there is always room for that.

Post match Theory goes up the ramp but gets superkicked by the Usos. Roman Reigns comes back out to hand Theory his briefcase.

We look back at 20 years of Rey Mysterio in WWE.

Rey arrived with his wife and kids earlier tonight.

Dolph Ziggler says he wants Theory to back up his potential. AJ Styles comes in to say he likes that idea but here is the Alpha Academy to interrupt. A tag match is set up.

Here is Rey Mysterio, with Dominik, for the 20th anniversary celebration. Rey talks about having his first match in Mexico at 14 years old and now here he is. Rey can’t believe he made it here after making all kinds of legendary rivalries. As a smaller guy and a proud Latino, he became World Champion at Wrestlemania XXII and made a lot of friends along the way.

Rey thanks Dean Malenko, Konnan, Batista, Kurt Angle and Edge, but then there is Eddie Guerrero. He thanks Eddie for always watching over him and feels truly humble for all of the support he has received for the last twenty years. Rey also thanks his family (watching backstage along with some friends) and Dominik in particular but finally he needs to thank the fans. We get some thank you’s in Spanish but here is Judgment Day through the crowd for their scheduled match.

Mysterios vs. Judgment Day

Joined in progress (a theme tonight) with Dominik taking over on Balor before sending him into the corner for right hands from Rey. We get the Eddie dance in the corner as Rey hammers away, only to get sent face first into the buckle. Priest comes in for the hard whip into the corner and the toss suplex gets one.

It’s back to Balor for the chinlock but Rey pops u for a quick escape. Dominik comes back in to clean house, including a dropkick to put Balor on the floor. Priest cuts off Dominik’s dove and sends him into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Dominik hitting a reverse Sling Blade and bringing Rey back in for a kick to Priest’s head.

A top rope seated sent on gets two on Priest, who boots Rey down for two of his own. It’s back to Balor, who has to avoid the 619 and hit the Coup de Grace for two as Dominik saves. With nothing else working, Balor tries the Eddie Guerrero chair trick but Rey does the same thing right back. A double 619 sets up the frog splash to finish Balor at 11:29.

Rating: C+. This feud really needs to wrap up already because it has already run out of steam. Granted that might be due to Judgment Day being treated as a bunch of losers for so long now but I’m sure they’ll stretch it out again. It was nice to see Rey get a win on his big night, though the evening is young and ripe for something happening later.

We look at Cody Rhodes winning the ESPY Award for WWE Moment of the Year.

The Mysterios join their family and friends backstage with drinks being poured. Rey also gets what looks like his gear from Halloween Havoc 1997. Rhea Ripley comes in and pie faces Rey’s daughter, meaning it’s Judgment Day coming in to beat Rey down (Balor: “It’s not your anniversary. It’s my birthday!”), including Priest powerbombing him onto a table.

Here is Bianca Belair for a chat, but first we see how her match with Becky Lynch at Summerslam. Cue Becky but Belair cuts her off with the EST names. Becky decks her and the brawl is on with referees having to break it up. Short and to the point here.

Alexa Bliss is ready for Doudrop tonight and then is coming for the title.

Rey Mysterio is pretty banged up but Dominik has to chase off Judgment Day. The distraction lets Rhea kick Rey in his bad arm.

Doudrop vs. Alexa Bliss

Nikki Ash is here with Doudrop and her distraction lets Doudrop hit a running crossbody for an early two. The chinlock goes on to keep Bliss in trouble but she fights up and kicks away. A running basement dropkick gives Bliss two but she has to avoid a charge in the corner. Doudrop is favoring her shoulder so the referee checks on her, allowing Ash to shove Bliss off the top. Not that it matters as Bliss grabs a tornado DDT for the pin at 4:19.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as Bliss’ offense was a bit hard to buy against a monster like Doudrop. That being said, Doudrop hasn’t meant anything in a long time so the result wasn’t a surprise. At least Bliss seems to have something in mind now and her getting back into the title picture wouldn’t be the biggest stretch.

Post match Bliss signs a fan’s sign for a nice moment.

AJ Styles tells Logan Paul that he doesn’t know much about him, but if Paul doesn’t like Miz, AJ must like him.

It’s time for the debut of Logan Paul’s Impaulsive TV and he gets straight to the point by calling Miz out. An insult to the size of Miz’s testicular fortitude, here is Maryse to answer instead. Maryse can’t pronounce genitalia but she does have some statistics about average size. Paul: “Who measures their testicles?” Cue Miz to say he does, as does every single man in this arena. Miz yells about how he gave Paul everything and now Paul is ruining it. Paul says Maryse has a bigger set than Miz and the brawl is on, with Ciampa running in to help beat Paul down. The Skull Crushing Finale drops Paul.

The Street Profits and the Usos have a staredown with Jeff Jarrett in the middle. Trash is talked but Jarrett says he wants peace kept tonight, because he’ll remember it on Saturday.

AJ Styles/Dolph Ziggler vs. Alpha Academy

Before the match, Chad Gable praises himself and mocks Styles and Ziggler as a thrown together team. Like the New York Knicks! AJ starts fast with the drop down into the dropkick to send Gable outside. There’s the big slingshot dive and we take a break. Back with Otis running over AJ, who manages to slip over for the tag to Ziggler. That’s fine with Otis, who drops Ziggler with a hard elbow to the face. Gable comes in and misses the moonsault, allowing Ziggler to hit the superkick. Everything breaks down and AJ knocks Gable into a Zig Zag for the pin at 7:26.

Rating: C. Pretty much just a “there” match with Styles and Ziggler having nothing in common and now getting a tag match for whatever reason. They did need to get Ziggler something to do until Theory is freed up so maybe this is the best that they have. Then again, the Alpha Academy doesn’t mean anything anymore after so many losses so this was some decent filler and little more.

Summerslam rundown.

Bloodline vs. Riddle/Street Profits

Dawkins takes Jimmy down to start and hands it off to Ford. Jimmy pulls Ford into the corner for some choking from Jey and Reigns but Ford is fine enough to grab the arm. Riddle comes in for the rapid fire kicks and the Usos are sent outside, with Ford hitting the big flip dive.

We take a break and come back with Riddle getting stomped in the wrong corner, including some from Reigns himself. Reigns cranks on the arm and hands it back to Jimmy, who misses a splash in the corner. That’s enough for the tag to Ford, who starts the house cleaning with some kicks to the head. Reigns comes in off a blind tag though and a release Rock Bottom plants Ford hard for two. Ford got busted open somewhere in there and the Usos make it worse with something like a top rope Demolition Decapitator.

We take another break and come back with Ford managing to knock Reigns down. Riddle gets the tag to clean house and everything breaks down in a hurry. That includes a bunch of moves with the word Bro, including the springboard Floating Bro to the floor. Reigns tags himself back in and drops Riddle for two, with Ford making the save. Jimmy hits a big dive onto Ford on the floor but Dawkins takes him out. Riddle hits the hanging DDT on Reigns but the RKO is shoved off, allowing Reigns to hit the spear for the pin at 19:25.

Rating: B. This was the hard hitting and long main event tag match that is going to work more often than not. Riddle taking the fall is a bit sad to see, but it is a fall against Reigns and the Profits have a title match at Summerslam so it could have been a worse pick. Good, long match here though and sometimes that’s what you need.

Post match here is Seth Rollings to give Riddle a Stomp onto the steps to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show wasn’t a masterpiece by any means, but it was WAY better than the last few terrible weeks. There was a bit more energy to the show and while we didn’t get anything significantly different, I’ll take some slight changes over what we were getting and hope for more after Summerslam. Other than that, the sad part of this show is how Madison Square Garden feels like any other arena. There was little here that made the Garden feel special and that is sad for the World’s Most Famous Arena. Overall though, this was a breath of fresh air and I’ll take that any week.

Results
Drew McIntyre b. Theory via DQ when the Brawling Brutes interfered
Bobby Lashley/Drew McIntyre b. Theory/Sheamus – Hurt Lock to Theory
Mysterios b. Judgment Day – Frog splash to Balor
Alexa Bliss b. Doudrop – Tornado DDT
AJ Styles/Dolph Ziggler b. Alpha Academy – Zig Zag to Gable
Bloodline b. Riddle/Street Profits – Spear to Riddle

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 6, 2022
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We are done with Hell In A Cell and that means we are done with Cody Rhodes for the time being. Rhodes defeated Seth Rollins in the main event last night but did so with a torn pectoral muscle. We won’t be seeing him for a long time, so now the question is what happens on the road to Money In The Bank. I’m sure that song will ensue. Let’s get to it.

Here is Hell In A Cell if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of last night’s Cell match, featuring Cody somehow not losing an arm.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

Here is Cody Rhodes for a chat. After welcoming us to the show, Cody talks about how it is a privilege to do what he does. Cody talks about his daughter and how he wants her to know that in the darkest part of his career, he stood and fought. He did it against one of the best ever in Seth Rollins (Cody: “Yeah I don’t like him either.”) and now the book is closed.

With that out of the way, he wants to talk about what’s above him, which would be the Money in the Bank briefcase. It has eluded him throughout his career, but if he were to retrieve the briefcase and win it, he would be the WWE Undisputed Universal Champion (that needs a new name).

Cue a limping Seth Rollins to interrupt and say that while he doesn’t like Cody, after last night, he respects him. Rollins says Dusty is proud of his baby boy right now and they shake (left) hands. Rollins whispers something we can’t hear and limps away, leaving Cody looking a bit taken aback. Cody gets the long walk up the ramp….and Rollins hits him in the back of the head with a sledgehammer. A stomp on the peck and some pokes with the hammer later, Rollins leaves him alone. There’s Rollins getting his heat back after last night.

Post break, Cody pulls himself up and refuses the stretcher.

Becky Lynch vs. Dana Brooke

The bell rings and here are the 24/7 goons, with Brooke winning the title. Becky grabs the mic and says this isn’t happening, so right now she’s challenging for the 24/7 Title, with promises of violence against anyone who interferes. Call this a no contest at about 1:00.

24/7 Title: Becky Lynch vs. Dana Brooke

Brooke is defending and gets Bexploded to start. Cue Asuka for a distraction though and the rollup…actually only gets two. Becky blasts Brooke with a clothesline but Brooke is back with the handspring elbow. The Swanton misses though and Becky kicks her in the face. The Manhandle Slam is countered though and Asuka grabs Becky’s leg so Brooke can retain the title at 2:13.

John Cena is coming back on June 27.

It’s time for MizTV, featuring the return of Maryse. Miz hypes her up and talks about how great she is before talking about the premiere of the new season of MizTV. Cue Riddle, tonight’s guest, to interrupt and stumble through some French. Maryse speaks some better French and Riddle says gesundheit. Riddle says hi to Randy Orton and hopes he is back soon…unlike his stepdad. With that out of the way, Miz says Orton’s career is over and he isn’t coming back.

That’s too far for Riddle, who is tired of fighting Roman Reigns’ minions every week. He wants Reigns himself and he’s going to take the title from him. Riddle finds it funny that John Cena is playing Peacemaker while Miz is playing homemaker, while Maryse leads him around by the testicles. This sets off a discussion of the size of Miz’s testicles, with Riddle saying prove it. Miz looks disturbed so Riddle asks for a match right now. Miz, in a tuxedo, says no but here is Ciampa to jump Riddle from behind. Sure, Miz is down for the match.

Miz vs. Riddle

Joined in progress with Riddle in trouble but he makes a pretty quick comeback. Riddle gets sent outside where he pulls off Miz’s pants, leaving Maryse to send in the (seemingly) loaded purse. That’s cut off with an RKO to give Riddle the pin at 2:13.

We look at NXT In Your House, which was a pretty good show.

Street Profits vs. Usos

Non-title Championship Contenders match. Dawkins rolls Jimmy up a few times for some early near falls before hitting the jumping elbow for two more. A double flapjack gives Ford his own two and the Usos need a breather. The Usos need a breather on the floor before Jey comes in, only to get taken down by Dawkins as well. Back in and Jey gets knocked off the top for a crash and we take a break.

We take a break and come back with Dawkins in trouble, including the running hip attack in the corner. Dawkins is sent outside for a whip into the steps and we take a rather fast second break. Back again with Jey running Ford over for two but Ford sends him outside. That means the parade of dives, including Dawkins hitting the big running flip dive. Back in and the spinebuster into the frog splash gives Ford two, with Jimmy making a last second save. They fight to the floor and it’s Ford diving back in to beat the count for the win at 16:28.

Rating: C+. The two breaks in the middle didn’t help things but at least a regular team is getting a title match at some point. I’ll take that over the next thrown together team, as you can only do so much with them. The Profits are one of the better teams around today so go with someone who might be a threat to the titles.

We look back at Seth Rollins attacking Cody Rhodes earlier today.

Here is Bobby Lashley for a chat. He talks about the history he has with MVP but even MVP and Omos couldn’t take him out. So what is next for Lashley? Cue Theory of all people to interrupt, because he doesn’t like being interrupted. Lashley doesn’t like this and is ready to fight but Theory wants to show off his bicep. Lashley is fine with that and shows Theory a bigger one. The challenge is on for the US Title shot but Theory doesn’t think Lashley has earned it. Theory says Lashley has never beaten him so Lashley kicks him to the floor.

Veer Mahaan vs. Dominik Mysterio

Rey Mysterio is at ringside. Dominik starts fast and gets Veer a bit frustrated with the chasing. A dropkick through the ropes staggers Veer and a kick to the face makes it worse. Back in and Veer blasts him with a jumping clothesline before knocking Dominik outside. Dominik gets thrown into Rey, with Veer kicking Rey in the mask to make it worse.

We take a break and come back with Dominik fighting out of a neck crank and starting the comeback. A missed charge in the corner lets Dominik hit a 619 to send Veer’s head into the post. The frog splash connects for two, but Veer is back up with the Million Dollar Arm. The Cervical Clutch is loaded up but Rey comes in for the DQ at 9:14.

Rating: C-. Can we just wrap this story up already? It started all the way back in April and now it just keeps going. If WWE wants to do something with Mahaan, then have him crush the Mysterios for good so they can move on to anything else. Mahaan is only so interesting in the first place and dragging this out over and over isn’t helping him.

Here is Judgment Day to announce their newest member. Damian Priest says ALL RISE and Rhea Ripley talks about how they love power. Edge is proud of the two of them and announces the newest member of the team: Finn Balor. Edge is rather pleased and asks how this happened. Balor talks about how there was clarity last week, because joining Judgment Day was a calling. Now he can finally see clearly and after last night’s loss, Balor reached out to talk about how things have been going.

Balor didn’t realize how similar they were, with Priest saying that they are ready to shake off the last issues with Judgment Day….which is Edge. Priest decks Edge and the other three lay him out, with Balor adding the Coup de Grace. A Razor’s Edge toss sends Edge through the announcers’ table but we’re not done yet. The Crossface with the chair bar has Edge in more trouble and there’s the Conchairto to knock Edge out again.

Omos vs. Cedric Alexander

Chokebomb finishes Cedric in 7 seconds.

Post match Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode return but MVP isn’t happy with them stealing Omos’ spotlight. Ziggler superkicks MVP but the two of them run off from Omos.

Otis vs. Ezekiel

Chad Gable is here with Otis, who powers Ezekiel into the corner to start. There’s the t-bone suplex to send Ezekiel down, setting up the neck crank. Ezekiel fights up and strikes away, including a jumping knee into an enziguri to finish Otis at 2:19.

Post match Ezekiel grabs the mic and talks about how Kevin Owens disrespected him. Next week, he wants a rematch so here is Owens to agree, with one condition: Ezekiel has to admit that he is Elias. Ezekiel admits that his name is Elias, which has Owens very happy. The rematch is on, but Ezekiel says that he was lying. A jumping knee leaves Owens laying.

We look at Bianca Belair retaining the Raw Women’s Title last night.

Alexa Bliss vs. Doudrop vs. Rhea Ripley vs. Liv Morgan

The winner gets Bianca Belair, at ringside, at Money in the Bank. Morgan and Bliss are knocked outside to start, leaving us with Ripley and Doudrop slugging it out. Ripley gets the better of things but Morgan and Bliss pull Doudrop out to the floor. Morgan and Bliss get back in to double team Ripley, who isn’t having any of that. Morgan is sent outside, leaving Ripley to stomp away. The delayed suplex is broken up by Morgan but Doudrop runs everyone over and we take a break.

Back with Doudrop beating on Bliss and hitting a clothesline for two. Morgan and Ripley pop back in with Morgan hammering away in the corner, setting up the middle rope hurricanrana. Doudrop is back up with a sitout powerbomb for two on Monday with Bliss making the save.

They all go to the corner and it’s a Tower Of Doom to bring everyone back down in a crash. Bliss and Morgan are up first for the exchange of rollups for two each. Twisted Bliss hits knees though, leaving Morgan to load up the Oblivion to Doudrop. Nikki Ash makes the save though, leaving Doudrop to Michinoku Driver Liv. Ripley makes a save of her own and it’s Riptide to Doudrop for the pin at 14:18.

Rating: C+. I don’t think there was any serious question about the winner here as Ripley is in the big stable and the team needs something to make them look more important. You don’t have her lose a match so soon to take away their momentum so this was the right way to go. Doudrop isn’t doing anything anyway so they went with the right option, with Morgan and Bliss being spared from taking an unnecessary fall.

Belair and Ripley stare each other down and the rest of Judgment Day come in to join Ripley to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. You know, I really didn’t dislike this show and a lot of that was due to it feeling like things were happening. They had some fresh stories, or at least some fresh matches, which is more than I can say about the last few weeks. It was far from a great show and I have no confidence that it is going to continue, but we didn’t get a bunch of Money in the Bank stuff and they had a surprise with the Judgment Day thing, so I’ll call this a success.

Results
Dana Brooke vs. Becky Lynch went to a no contest
Dana Brooke b. Becky Lynch – Rollup with Asuka holding the leg
Riddle b. Miz – RKO
Street Profits b. Usos via countout
Veer Mahaan b. Dominik Mysterio via DQ when Rey Mysterio interfered
Omos b. Cedric Alexander – Chokebomb
Ezekiel b. Otis – Crucifix
Rhea Ripley b. Liv Morgan, Alexa Bliss and Doudrop – Riptide to Doudrop

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestlemania XXXIII
Date: April 2, 2017
Location: Camping World Stadium, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 75,245
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

This hasn’t been quite a year yet but I have a feeling it’s going to be a very long night. Like a few years before, I was in the stadium for this show but haven’t seen it since I reviewed it last year. This is a show that was well received at the time and it could be interesting to see how it holds up a year later. Let’s get to it.

The set is one of the most intricate they’ve ever done, with a big Wrestlemania globe (ala Universal Studios) and a roller coaster next to it (I think you get this). There’s also an inflatable ring atop the structure above the regular ring, which I somehow didn’t notice until about an hour and a half of being in the stadium). The theme was the Ultimate Thrill Ride and the visual certainly works. It’s really cool looking and worked very well. Unfortunately the stadium isn’t the best looking in the world and it made the whole thing feel a bit out of place. Oh and the CRAZY LONG RAMP, which is something like seventy yards long.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Austin Aries vs. Neville

Aries is challenging after Neville has dominated the division for months and needs someone fresh to challenge him. The fans are behind Aries, which isn’t that surprising though Neville was nothing short (ok he was always short) of awesome at this point. Aries takes him down with an armbar but Neville is right back out with a headscissors. Back up and Neville has to bail to the floor so Aries has a rest on the top rope. I know it’s a Shawn Michaels spot but Aries sells the heck out of it.

Neville comes back in and eats a basement dropkick, followed by the middle rope elbow to the back for two. The suicide dive is blocked with a kick to the head though as the back and forth continues. A missile dropkick gives Neville two and we take a break. Back with Neville holding a chinlock (They even do it on the Kickoff Shows!) but taking WAY too long to glare at the crowd before trying a middle rope Phoenix splash (makes sense given his King thing).

One heck of a backdrop puts Neville on the floor and Aries is right back after him with the suicide dive. You can hear the fans getting back into this and that’s a good result from these two. The main reason to put something like this on is to get the fans fired up for the real show and it’s a great place to put them in.

They come back in with Aries blocking the superplex and nailing his own missile dropkick (looked awesome too) for a near fall. A snap German suplex plants Aries though and Neville takes over again. Another suplex gets another two and Neville is starting to look annoyed. With the technical stuff not working, Neville just kicks him in the face in the corner.

Aries is fine enough to reverse the Rings of Saturn attempt into a rollup and now the Discus knocks Neville hard to the floor. Back in and Aries hits a top hurricanrana and the 450 (with a really annoying crowd reaction shot) gets two. The Last Chancery goes on but Neville rips at the eye (which was recently reconstructed) to break the hold. Aries is writhing in pain and it’s the Red Arrow to retain the title at 15:40.

Rating: B. I remember hearing that this would be on the Kickoff Show and being very relieved as I didn’t think the main show would allow it nearly the amount of time that it needed and deserved. I’m glad to see that I was right here as they had a heck of a chess match here with both guys getting in everything they could and showing how back and forth the whole thing was. Neville cheating to win in the end fit him well, as he finally had someone who could match him and had to take a shortcut. Really good stuff here as Neville continues his unbelievable roll.

If the pay per view started here, it would have been a perfect Kickoff Show. But nah, we need two more matches.

Kickoff Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Rob Gronkowski, a friend of Mojo Rawley, is in the front row. Big Show’s music plays everyone but Braun Strowman to the ring. Braun tosses Primo two seconds into the match as the ring needs some serious cleaning out. Kalisto and Simon Gotch are tossed as well and Strowman eliminates Slater. Jimmy Uso and Goldust follow them out as they’re not wasting time here.

There goes Konnor but it’s time for the Show vs. Strowman showdown. Everyone stops to watch but Sami jumps Braun due to reasons of general stupidity. That goes nowhere so it’s Strowman dumping Show. Everyone goes after Strowman but he gets rid of Viktor in the process. Strowman is eliminated, making him look like a loser/afterthought in the process (oh….just wait). Hawkins is out and Ziggler gets to do his usual false hope spot. We get into the required “everyone hits everyone but doesn’t really try to win” portion as things slow down.

Ziggler low bridges Truth out as I manage to remember that Truth is employed. There goes Rhyno and Ziggler is thrown over the top, only to hang on again. There goes English, followed by American Alpha dropkicking English out. Jey Uso and Jason Jordan are tossed, followed by Chad Gable as the ring is really thinning out. Tian Bing gets rid of Fandango and Breeze, followed by Henry eliminating Sin Cara (in some sweet Wrestlemania gear). Henry is out next as there’s nothing between these eliminations.

Ziggler superkicks Bing out and that’s about it for Tian’s career accomplishments to date. Sami’s Helluva Kick gets rid of Epico and we’re down to nine. It’s been too long since Ziggler was nearly eliminated so Harper chokes him on the apron this time around. Mojo dumps Bo and Mahal eliminates Crews, followed by Rawley tossing Ziggler. Harper is out next and we’re down to Mojo, Jinder, Titus, Dain and Zayn.

A running clothesline gets rid of Titus but Dain eliminates Sami, completely sucking the life out of the crowd. Why you ask? Well we’re left with Dain, Rawley and Mahal. How excited would you be? Jinder gets clotheslined down and we get a Dain vs. Mojo showdown. A Pounce drops Dain but Jinder pulls Mojo through the ropes and out to the floor. Jinder follows him out and sends Rawley into the barricade, right in front of Gronkowski.

That means a drink going into Gronkowski’s face and here he comes over the barricade. This gives us the funniest part of the show as a security guard runs over to stop him, only to have a ringside guy tap her on the arm as some referees come over and allow Gronkowski to get in. Gronkowski runs Mahal over (your future WWE Champion everyone) and Mojo’s running right hands get rid of Dain. Another running punch to Mahal gives Rawley the win at 14:09.

Rating: D-. And this just LAUNCHED Mojo to the moon right? I know the idea here was to get Gronkowski involved (possibly as a substitute for Shaquille O’Neal) but Sami Zayn was RIGHT THERE to get the big win but nah, let’s go with the nothing guy winning the match. This wasn’t the best result for the battle royal but at least they were trying with Rawley, who took the time to talk to an entire group of fans when I saw him walking through Axxess that same weekend. Hopefully he gets somewhere in the future. The rest of the match was terrible with everyone being thrown out in short order and a bad ending.

Kickoff Show: Intercontinental Title: Baron Corbin vs. Dean Ambrose

Ambrose is defending and I have no idea why this was on the Kickoff Show. Corbin crushed Ambrose underneath a forklift to set this up, giving us the hilarious visual of the referees trying to LIFT IT UP despite the key being in the ignition. They waste no time in fighting to the floor with Dean getting the better of it and heading back inside.

That earns him a hard whip to send Ambrose’s ribs into the post and give Corbin a nice big target. Or 24 of them in this case. A choke shove puts Dean down for two and Baron whips him into the barricade for good measure. We hit the chinlock for a few moments before Dean avoids a charge to send Corbin shoulder first into the post. Corbin avoids the top rope elbow and blocks Dirty Deeds for good measure. That earns him a trip to the floor but Baron knocks him out of the air on a slingshot dive.

The top rope elbow puts Corbin down again though and Dean gets two off a swinging neckbreaker. These two aren’t exactly clicking so far. Deep Six gives Corbin two and works on the ribs a bit more. The Rebound Lariat runs Baron over again but he’s right back with a powerbomb to stay on the ribs. That’s about it for Corbin though as Dean jumps up and hits Dirty Deeds to retain at 10:44.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this one but the bigger issue was with the ending, as Baron winning the title would have made the most sense. Making it even worse was the fact that Baron won a street fight non-title rematch two days later but none of that matters as the Superstar Shakeup changed everything a week later. The match was nothing to see either as they didn’t go into the brawl that would have suited them best.

And now on the main show, which is FIVE HOURS AND TEN MINUTES LONG. Sweet goodness and they wonder why it’s hard to make new fans.

Tinashe, who looks like a low rent Beyonce (still very attractive though with a great voice) sings America the Beautiful. This includes the Air Force flyover, which will nearly knock you off your feet.

The opening video is about how everyone wants to come here, either as a fan or as a wrestler. This is the biggest show of the year and it is the ultimate thrill ride. The video turns into a roller coaster, starting with some historic moments and going into clips of wrestlers on tonight’s show. It’s continuing the theme and that’s a good thing when so many of these shows only have a loose theme at best. Ignore the fans cheering for Miz and AJ Styles and booing the heck out of Roman Reigns of course.

Here are your hosts for the evening: the New Day, in Final Fantasy inspired gear, with Kofi riding in on their bicycle powered ice cream cart. I still have one major question: HOW DID THEY NOT HAVE ICE CREAM FOR SALE??? They teased that for weeks and NOTHING. I was looking forward to it but for some reason it just never happened. After some dancing and gyrating, Xavier says there were a lot of options to host the show. Fans: “WOO!” It was your boys the NEW DAY who got the call though and they get to tell us about all the action that we’ll be seeing tonight.

It’s time to officially pulls their levers (making Kofi and Xavier cringe) and Big E. starts sending the smiling glances over to Woods as he freaks out. This was just after the sex tape fiasco, which was hinted at but never mentioned on WWE TV. In other words, this was a nice little inside joke for the fans while not giving away anything that would be un-PG. Well done and the way this needed to be handled. New Day’s level of rock is confirmed and that’s it, wrapping up this year’s installment of an unnecessary addition to the Wrestlemania card.

We recap AJ Styles babysitting Shane McMahon. AJ lost the Smackdown World Title to John Cena at the Royal Rumble and Daniel Bryan/Shane put him in the Elimination Chamber instead of giving him a one on one rematch for the title. That’s not cool with AJ, so he beat up Shane to set up this year’s “Shane can totally wrestle if you give him one of the best performers in the world” match. They’ve attacked each other a few times each since with Shane’s punches somehow getting a little worse since last year.

Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles

Shane’s kids are at ringside because what would Wrestlemania be without them? AJ isn’t interested in throwing punches so a quick standing switch sends Shane into the ropes. A headlock and snapmare have Shane down as AJ is toying with him to start. Shane gets in some armdrags and takes Styles down for a rollup, giving us some frustration to send AJ outside.

Back in and AJ punches him in the face as it turns into a boxing match. You know you don’t have to ask Shane to do that twice so we let the suck fly, followed by an elbow to AJ’s face. One heck of a baseball slide sends Shane over the announcers’ table as control goes hard to Styles. Back in and a knee drop rocks Shane again but of course he can shake off the Phenomenal Blitz.

The Phenomenal Forearm is broken up and Shane starts his dance that was stupid back in the 90s so today it’s awesome (like everything in the Attitude Era). An Angle Slam gets two on AJ but he’s right back with the Calf Crusher. Shane reverses into a rear naked choke, a cross armbreaker and something like the Rings of Saturn. He trains MMA you see. AJ shrugs them off and drops Shane again but the springboard 450 is countered into a triangle choke. That’s reversed into a one armed Styles Clash, and of course Shane is up at two.

They slug it out and the fans are entirely behind AJ, even more than you might have expected them to be. I know he’s going to be the favorite coming in but this star treatment of Shane is making it even worse. The ref gets bumped (well duh) and it’s trashcan time. AJ loads up his own Coast to Coast but Shane throws the can at him (with AJ having to pull up on the dive, making it look horrible). Phillips: “AJ has stepped into Shane’s world now!” You mean high flying wrestling?

Shane’s Coast to Coast gets two and it’s time to load up the announcers’ table. The big elbow misses but of course Shane is fine enough to counter the Phenomenal Forearm into a Maiavia Hurricane. That’s not enough from Shane though as he gets to try the shooting star, which only hits mat. The Phenomenal Forearm connects to finally put Shane away at 20:31.

Rating: B. Well that was Shane, with some Shane on the side and then more Shane to wrap it up. AJ looked awesome but that’s all he supposed to be. This was all about Shane getting to counter and hang with AJ, which doesn’t do Styles any good. A 40+ year old who doesn’t wrestle shouldn’t be hanging with a guy who was World Champion less than three months ago. But hey, Shane, right?

James Ellsworth is having issues working out so Ric Flair comes in to give him a Snickers. Then Ellsworth becomes Charlotte. Uh, yeah.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens. Their friendship had been having some issues of late so Jericho put together the Festival of Friendship, an over the top celebration of all things Owens and Jericho. At the end of it, Owens turns on Jericho and beat the heck out of him. Jericho came back and cost him the Universal Title at Fastlane so Owens is coming for Jericho’s Universal Title. The question became could Owens win without Jericho and now we get the chance to find out.

US Title: Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens

Owens is challenging. Jericho’s entrance brings back the countdown for a nice touch. Throw in the light up scarf and a big List of Jericho on the stage and this is advantage Chris. They slug it out to start with the Walls going on less than thirty seconds in. That sends Owens bailing to the floor and a top rope forearm to the head drops Owens back inside. Owens kicks him in the face and hammers away to take over.

We hit the chinlock, with some horribly obvious spot calling, followed by the backsplash for two. They head outside for the third time with Jericho backdropping his way out of the apron powerbomb. Jericho chops away and gets two off a super hurricanrana but gets clotheslined down. The frog splash misses, the Lionsault hits knees, and the Swanton hits knees as well to give us a slow down stretch.

Now the Lionsault connects for a delayed two but Owens gets in his own Walls of Jericho. A rope is grabbed so Owens tries the Cannonball, only to be reversed into the Walls. Kevin grabs the rope for the break and is right back with the Pop Up Powerbomb for two. Another Pop Up Powerbomb is countered into the Codebreaker but Owens touches the rope with one finger for the save. That’s a sweet heel touch. Owens rolls outside and superkicks the knee, setting up the apron powerbomb to give him the pin and the title at 16:46.

Rating: C+. Not bad but they never cranked up the violence that you would have expected after seeing the Festival of Friendship. These two should have been ready to destroy each other and instead it’s just a match with Owens working the ribs and looking for a powerbomb. They accomplished the goal of making Owens look like he can win on his own, but this isn’t the way they should have gone about it.

We recap the Raw Women’s Title match. Charlotte and Sasha Banks had raised the women’s division to entirely new levels and Charlotte needed a new challenger. Enter Bayley, who won the title on Raw in a big surprise, completely defeating the purpose of her character and leaving her with nothing to do. This problem would plague her for the next year and still does to this day. Nia Jax was added to the other three because you need to have as many people in Wrestlemania matches as possible.

Raw Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax vs. Bayley

Bayley is defending under elimination rules. The tube men are at ringside for a special change of pace. Sasha rides in on the back of a chauffeured car because that’s what Sasha does. Charlotte gets a crazy amount of pyro, making her look even more like a star than usual. Everyone goes after Nia to start but she wrecks them in increasingly short order. A Banzai Drop crushes Bayley and Nia throws Charlotte off the apron onto both Bayley and Sasha. There’s something about people being thrown around like weapons.

All three get together to go after Nia with Sasha wisely grabbing the leg to keep her in place. Charlotte boots Nia in the face for a double German suplex for two in a painful looking crash. Nia is back up and tries a second Banzai, only to get TripleBombed out of the corner for the elimination at 4:08.

As usual, Nia chokes in the big match because that’s just how she rolls. Charlotte pulls Bayley to the floor and it’s Sasha hitting a flip dive to take the champ down. As you might expect, it’s the corkscrew moonsault from the top to take Bayley and Sasha down again in a huge crash.

Back in and Natural Selection is countered into a failed Bank Statement attempt. Instead Charlotte gets two off a backbreaker and rips off a turnbuckle pad in frustration. Sasha’s top rope double knees are good for two of her own and the Bank Statement goes on. Sasha goes with a rollup and the kickout sends her face first into the buckle for the elimination at 8:10.

Bayley comes back in and gets her knee rammed into the exposed buckle. The moonsault, with the wind blowing Charlotte’s hair around, only hits mat to give Bayley a near fall. Charlotte is fine enough to go after the knee and grab the Figure Eight. Bayley gets to the rope so Charlotte takes her into the Tree of Woe, only to get backdropped from the top in a big crash. The big elbow is enough to retain the title at 12:04.

Rating: D. Why can’t they get these big matches right? This was completely backwards with Nia being thrown in there at the last minute and lasting all of four minutes. Then it’s Bayley not really overcoming the odds and just pinning Charlotte after shrugging off some of the offense. It’s not some come from behind win or a big moment, but really just a match where Charlotte happened to lose.

Video on the Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Hearing Jim Cornette’s voice in WWE is just wrong.

Diamond Dallas Page. Nice reaction and WELL deserved just for his stuff with Hall and Roberts alone.

Rock N Roll Express. WAY overdue.

Rick Rude. See the Rock N Roll Express.

Teddy Long. I defy you to not smile at this.

Eric LeGrand. Warrior Award and that’s fine.

Beth Phoenix. Fine enough if a female entrant is required.

Kurt Angle. Yep. Moving on.

Support the Boys and Girls Club! Fair request actually.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Anderson and Gallows vs. Sheamus/Cesaro

No real story here as this is they’ve just been feuding and it’s time for a title match. Anderson and Gallows are defending and this is a ladder match because we have to have one. Enzo and Cass’ speech is short this time as they say they’re climbing every rung to win the titles. We’re ready to go….and here’s New Day. Yeah remember them?

Anyway they’re in wrestling gear here but first, an announcement. This is now a FATAL FOUR WAY with one more team to be added. That would be the HARDY BOYZ, making a shocking return and giving us a legitimate Wrestlemania moment. Before the music hit, I stood up and said “they wouldn’t”, which was aided as I couldn’t see that New Day was in ring gear. Amazing moment here and the twenty six million YouTube views suggest that it’s quite the popular idea. Cole says thinks are about to be BROKEN and Matt does the DELETE pose.

It’s a brawl to start (as it should be) and the Hardys waste no time with Poetry in Motion to Gallows. Enzo and Cass are taken down as well as the fans are entire enamored with the Hardys all over again. A Whisper in the Wind takes both Sheamus and Cesaro down and it’s time for the first ladder. Jeff goes up but it’s Gallows making a pretty easy save. Cesaro comes back in and climbs onto Gallows’ shoulders for a double stomp onto Anderson’s ribs. Well that worked.

This time it’s Enzo and Cass coming in, just to make sure that everyone gets their turn in you see. That goes nowhere so the Hardys bridge the ladders between the ring and the apron but Cesaro and Sheamus slam them together. With a little too much Sheamus on offense, Cass launches Enzo over the ladders like a cannonball to take him down.

Back in and Sheamus hits the ten forearms to Gallows while Cesaro Swings Anderson. Despite what Cole thinks, that’s not exactly working together. We hear about the Tag Team Titles not changing hands at Wrestlemania in SIXTEEN YEARS (that’s inexcusable) until Sheamus Brogue Kicks the heck out of Cass. Enzo shoves the ladder over to drop Gallows and Sheamus and goes up, sending Graves into hysterics over the horrible possibilities.

Sheamus and Gallows come back in for the save but don’t bother to knock him off the ladder. Instead it’s Anderson climbing the ladder and knocking Cesaro into the ladder. There’s a Magic Killer to Cesaro but Matt hits them both with a Twist of Fate, including a big one off of the ladder to Anderson. Jeff hits the required Swanton off the ladder to drive Cesaro through a bridged ladder, leaving Matt to pull the titles down at 11:05.

Rating: C+. There’s only so much you can get out of a ladder match like this with almost nothing to it other than the big Hardys return. That being said, they absolutely got the ending right as there was no other way to go here. Enzo and Cass weren’t going to work after something as special as the Hardys showing up so don’t even try. There wasn’t much to this in the way of high spots either, but this was ALL about Matt and Jeff, as it should have been.

Jimmy Fallon is here.

We recap the Miz/Maryse vs. John Cena/Nikki Bella, which is mostly about Nikki and Cena teaming together for the first time ever. The idea is that Cena won’t marry Nikki so Miz and Maryse are better, meaning we’re just waiting on Cena to pop the question here. In the show stealing moment of the year though, Miz and Maryse did some parody videos of Cena and Nikki and Total Divas/Bellas, giving us some of the funniest things WWE has ever done.

They nailed the ridiculous nature of the shows to perfection and made Miz look like the guy who should be ready to break through every ceiling above her. Oh and Maryse as Nikki Bella: sweet GOODNESS that worked on about a million levels. Finally though, a year later with Miz and Maryse now as parents, Cena’s jokes about Miz “firing blanks” are pretty much dead.

Jerry Lawler is on commentary.

Nikki Bella/John Cena vs. Maryse/The Miz

Al Roker is guest ring announcer for absolutely no reason whatsoever other than having a celebrity appearance. This is Maryse’s first match nearly six years and she doesn’t look like she’s lost a step. Cena and Nikki run down the ramp and we see a wide shot for a cool visual. Cena’s mom is in the front row and he seems shocked to see her, which would be a heck of a surprise.

The women start and there’s no contact for a minute so let’s bring in the guys instead. Miz poses on the ropes and then bails to the floor to start a chase. Back in and Miz finally stomps away as we finally make contact nearly two minutes in. Maryse gets in a poke to the eye so Miz can fire off a left hand. Cena and Nikki have had no offense so far. The fans are very pleased with Miz’s beating of Cena, mainly because they realize how awesome those Total Bellas parodies were.

Miz misses the running clothesline in the corner but Maryse breaks up the hot tag attempt by pulling Nikki off the apron. A DDT gives Miz two and he slowly does Daniel Bryan’s pose (How amazing is it that the match could ACTUALLY HAPPEN?). The YES Kicks keep Cena rocked but Miz makes the mistake of telling Nikki that she can’t see him.

A big slap puts Miz on the floor and a diving tag brings in Nikki. Some bad forearms to Maryse’s arms (Shane could do better than that) don’t do much damage so Nikki runs Miz over instead. Back in and Nikki’s big forearm sets up stereo Five Knuckle Shuffles. The AA and a Rack Attack 2.0 give us a double pin at 9:38.

Rating: D-. What in the world was that? Miz beat Cena up for about eight minutes and then it was hot tag Nikki to put the villains away Hogan style. After all the work and amazing promos, this is Miz’s Wrestlemania reward. I’m so glad this is what they went with instead of Cena vs. Undertaker, which was likely possible at this show. But hey, Total Divas and Total Bellas got a plot out of it.

Post match Cena says this is what Nikki wanted when she was rehabbing her neck. He tells a downright creepy story about Nikki being groggy before going inf or surgery. Apparently Cena asked if Nikki knew he would marry her one day. She said yes, and today is that day. Cena proposes and we get the big moment as she says yes. I’m SO glad this is what Cena, in the final few years that he has in WWE, is spending one of them doing this. It’s a sweet moment, but my goodness do this on Total Bellas where the fans want to see it.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. HHH, in another dumb story. So Rollins was HHH’s big ace in the hole a few years back and everything was all evil and great. Then Rollins tore his ACL and had to vacate the World Title, which HHH took as not being good enough to be the top guy. Let me repeat that: HHH said that leg issues were signs that someone wasn’t good enough to be the man in WWE. HHH then cost the returning Rollins the title to turn him face but now it’s time for revenge with a fired up Rollins wanting to burn the place down to destroy HHH.

Seth Rollins vs. HHH

Anything goes and, as usual, HHH gets the coolest entrance of the night with a big motorcycle and a police escort, plus Stephanie as a CRAZY HOT biker chick. Seriously, I know she can be irritating but she can rock the heck out of some leather pants. He gets the biggest entrance every year and it takes up a bunch of the spotlight but I can live with it if she’s in outfits like that.

Rollins’ entrance involves holding up a torch and touching it to the ground, sending digital flames down the ramp. I get the burn it down thing but it’s rather lame, along with coming after the really cool entrance. Well done again HHH, as he continues to be smarter than most wrestlers today.

They waste no time in slugging it out with Rollins getting the better of it (therefore I must remind you: HHH once won a slugout with modern day Brock Lesnar) to knock HHH outside. A dragon screw legwhip takes Rollins down by the knee that wasn’t hurt in the first place. Rollins shrugs it off and punches him away, followed by an enziguri back inside. The suicide dive sends HHH into the barricade and it’s already time for the announcers’ table. As usual, Rollins tries a Pedigree onto the table but gets countered with a DDT which doesn’t break the table.

HHH cranks up the violence with a chair to the knee before bridging Rollins’ knee between the ring and the table so he can drive his own knee into Rollins’. Back in and the slow knee work continues, because that’s how HHH loves to work on a show this big. Rollins tries the sunset bomb but hurts his knee all over again. It’s fine enough to hit the Buckle Bomb and a hard whip sends HHH over the corner to the floor. With HHH staggered, Rollins goes up top (Graves: “He’s screwed if he hits this or not.”) and scores with a high crossbody to the floor.

Since it’s an anything goes match, Rollins loads up a pair of chairs and a table on the floor instead of just bashing HHH with the chair. A frog splash to the back keeps HHH down but he kicks the knee out to cut Rollins off again. HHH takes forever to get up top though and gets a chair pelted at his head, setting up the superplex into the Falcon Arrow for two. You know, on the bad knee.

Stephanie breaks up the Phoenix Splash by pulling the knee onto the ropes and we hit a reverse Figure Four. That’s reversed into a Gargano Escape of all things but HHH goes smart by punching him in the knee. The reverse Figure Four goes on outside so Rollins reaches underneath the ring to find weapons. Naturally this includes the sledgehammer but HHH lets the hold go.

Back in and Rollins’ knee is fine enough for a low superkick to the face, followed by an enziguri to really hammer the point home. Stephanie takes the hammer away from Rollins though and a Pedigree gives HHH two. The fans barely even reacted to that one and I can’t say I blame them.

HHH channels his inner CM Punk and loads up a super Pedigree but gets backdropped down (already done by Bayley earlier). Now the Phoenix Splash gets two but neither can hit a Pedigree. Instead HHH hits him in the knee but walks into a superkick, which knocks Stephanie off the apron and through a table. That wakes the fans WAY up just in time for the Pedigree to give Rollins the pin at 25:25.

Rating: B-. This is an interesting one I was bored out of my mind watching it live but it flies by watching it back. That being said, the constant knee work got very dull, especially when it wasn’t even Rollins’ bad knee. As usual, the Stephanie bump got by far the strongest reaction of the night because it’s something you don’t see very often. It’s not a bad match at all but you EASILY could have chopped off ten minutes and no one would have missed a thing.

Pitbull performs the theme song and eats up way too much time.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt for the Smackdown World Title. Orton joined the Wyatt Family after becoming tired of being beaten down by the team. Then he won the Royal Rumble and promised to never cash in the title shot on new champion Wyatt. It wound up being a ruse though and Orton used his newfound access to the Wyatt Family compound to destroy the whole place. Then Bray poured Sister Abigail’s ashes over himself and gained her powers as this story got REALLY stupid. There was also something about Luke Harper nearly becoming #1 contender that went nowhere but warrants a quick mention.

Smackdown World Title: Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging and has a viper go down the ramp, which he himself called stupid. We get the Big Match Intros and Orton takes him down with a Thesz press and some right hands. They head to the floor for more right hands but Bray goes caveman with a running headbutt back inside. And then the lights go out (which I thought was a blackout) until the mat is covered with a projection of maggots. We’re about two minutes into the match and this is already in the pantheon of dumbest ideas ever.

Bray runs him over again and this time it’s worms on the mat. The referee jumps out of the ring, possibly because he wants to go work for a sensible company like TNA. A Rock Bottom into a backsplash gives Bray two but Sister Abigail is countered into a rollup for two. I mean, it doesn’t matter as they’ve completely lost the fans after that stupid, STUPID idea but never let that stop WWE.

They head outside again with Bray diving off the apron and straight into a dropkick. Sister Abigail into the barricade drops Orton again but he’s back up with an RKO to knock Bray silly on the floor. That’s only good for two back inside and Sister Abigail is countered into the backbreaker. Orton’s hanging DDT looks to set up the RKO but this time Sister Abigail connects for two. But hang on because let’s hit those roaches to complete the trio of stupid! Orton is finally done with all this nonsense and hits the RKO for the pin and the title at 10:13.

Rating: F. You are the winter, fall and spring. You are the sun that summertime brings. You are the stars in the nighttime sky. You are my girl and I’m your guy. You got me all tied up in knots and I’m lovin’ you lots and lots. I’m just lovin’ you lots and lots. I’m lovin’ you lots and lots.

That doesn’t make sense? Neither does what we just saw. Moving on.

The pilots from the flyover are here. That’s kind of cool.

We recap the Universal Title match, which all started because of a video game. Goldberg came back at Survivor Series to face Brock Lesnar in a rematch of the nightmare that was Wrestlemania XX. In a shocker, Goldberg won in about a minute and a half. Then it was decided that Goldberg could win the title again. He went on to eliminate Brock from the Royal Rumble and then won the Universal Title in about thirty seconds at Fastlane. Lesnar needed to defeat Goldberg once and for all so we’re having the match for the title tonight. This is all narrated by Paul Heyman, who talks about fantasies coming to an end in a nice touch.

Here’s the thing: you could do this same story without the title. Have Lesnar put up his career to get one more shot at Goldberg (it’s not like there was any doubt on the winner here anyway) so let us have the original plan: Owens dropping the title to Jericho (who never won the World Title as a face) and then Lesnar winning it the next month. Nah. We need GOLDBERG winning the title in a nostalgia moment for whatever reason.

Universal Title: Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Goldberg is defending and gets the long walk to the ring which might as well be the long walk to the gallows. Lesnar wastes no time and hits three German suplexes in nineteen seconds. In a great visual, the camera is on Lesnar when Goldberg cuts him down with a spear. A second spear sends Lesnar bailing and the third spear takes Lesnar through the barricade. That’s the first MINUTE of this match as they’re certainly starting fast.

Back in and both finishers are escaped, setting up another spear to Lesnar. The Jackhammer gets two, making Lesnar the second person to ever kick out (the other being Hogan, who only did it because of a missed cue). That means another spear (Heyman: “HE’S IN POSITION AGAIN!”) but this time Lesnar leapfrogs him and Goldberg hits the buckles. More suplexes (make it ten total) set up the F5 to officially conquer Goldberg at 4:47.

Rating: B. This was PERFECT for what they had to work with. Goldberg wasn’t going to be out there for a long match (he didn’t in his prime either) and they went with the right path. This was as action packed of a nearly five minute match as all you could have done. That first spear looked awesome and Goldberg gets to go out on his big moment. I’m pleased, though not as much as Goldberg, who probably made a ton of money for less than ten minutes combined of wrestling time in his comeback.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Naomi vs. Becky Lynch vs. Carmella vs. Mickie James vs. Natalya

Alexa is defending and this is the most thrown together match that I can remember in a good while. They’re also rushing through the entrances due to the time issues. You know, because NOW they care about time issues. Naomi is the hometown girl and MY GOODNESS the Glow entrance is a sight to behold in a stadium. There are no tags of course so it’s a big brawl to start.

Naomi gets sent to the floor for a double suplex from Natalya and Carmella. Back in and Becky kicks the two of them down but James Ellsworth (Remember that?) grabs Becky’s foot to take over. Bliss breaks up a cover and screams at Carmella to get out of her ring. The DDT gets two on Natalya but Becky breaks it up this time, only to have Ellsworth come in. No Chin Music is countered into a Bexploder and it’s Naomi coming back in this time.

Naomi slingshots in to sunset flip Natalya, who German suplexes Becky at the same time. Speaking of the same time, Natalya tries a double Sharpshooter on Carmella and Naomi but can’t get the legs up. Well, not surprising, but it’s so bad that the camera cuts to her back. Naomi comes back in for a Rear View to Bliss and a big dive to take everyone out. Back in and Naomi’s reverse Rings of Saturn makes Bliss tap for the title at 5:33.

Rating: D. The timing issues KILLED this and there’s no way around it. Much like the ladder match earlier, there’s nothing you can do when you have five minutes and six people in a match. Naomi winning the title back is cool, but I still have no idea why her winning it back in her hometown is supposed to be some huge deal. Yeah it’s cool, but it’s not like this is some great moment.

Wrestlemania XXXIV is in New Orleans. Those songs will drive you crazy by the end of the weekend.

New Day comes out to thank the fans for the record attendance of 75,245. The team is still funny but egads they could have been cut out of this whole thing and not been missed.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Undertaker. Reigns eliminated him from the Rumble and now we have a match to determine who is the real Big Dog.

Jim Ross is out to do commentary for the main event. That’s even more impressive when you consider his wife died days before this show.

Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns

No holds barred, first announced before the entrances. Reigns is booed out of the stadium, as has become a custom. In a smart move, Undertaker rises from the middle of the ramp (with a cool visual of smoke building up and clearing to reveal him standing there). I completely missed this as I was looking at the stage and then glanced down to the ring and saw him climbing the steps.

Undertaker slugs away in the corner to start and knocks Reigns to the floor. Back in and Reigns knocks him over the top as well, with Undertaker landing on his feet. Reigns hammers him down to take over and they head outside so this can be more of a brawl, which is the only way to go. The apron dropkick (to a standing Undertaker) puts Undertaker down again but he wins a slugout back inside. Reigns hits him in the face and Undertaker just looks mad.

Snake Eyes and the big boot set up the legdrop for two. The threat of a chokeslam sends Reigns outside again and this time the apron dropkick is punched out of the air. Another dropkick staggers Undertaker but it’s a chokeslam onto the announcers’ table. They climb onto the other tables and it’s a spear to drive Undertaker through (almost in a running spinebuster) for the double knockout.

Reigns is the only one back in….and Undertaker sits up. Back in and Reigns does the corner clotheslines into the corner right hands, meaning the Last Ride (an AWFUL one at that with little impact and more Undertaker dropping Reigns than slamming him down). It’s chair time but Undertaker takes it away and beats him down instead. A quick Superman Punch knocks Undertaker into the ropes but another is countered into a chokeslam onto the chair.

The Tombstone gets two and the fans, who are supposed to be smart at Wrestlemania, seem shocked at the kickout. Off the first Tombstone. In a Wrestlemania match. Who’s the smart one here? Another Tombstone is loaded up but this time Reigns backflips….and just can’t lift Undertaker for the counter. They try a few more times but just stop for the sake of embarrassment with Reigns trying a Superman Punch instead.

The spear connects but Undertaker is fine enough to put on Hell’s Gate. The rope is reached for a break (erg) and Reigns unloads with the chair. Another spear gets another two and another spear gets another two and another Superman Punch (Undertaker sits up and falls over) sets up another spear to give Undertaker his second Wrestlemania loss at 22:57. That last sequence took nearly five minutes.

Rating: D+. It’s not terrible, but Undertaker looked like an old man who should have hung it up a few years ago. The problem here was the crowd being completely dead and it showed really badly. There’s only so much energy you can have in an academic match at the end of a seven hour show. Reigns winning makes complete sense but it was a bad match (the botches and CRAZY amount of time spent standing around didn’t do it any favors) and there’s no way around that.

Reigns gets the big pyro display behind him as he stands on the ramp (great shot) but we’re not done yet. Undertaker slowly sits up and we go to a bunch of replays. Back to live and it’s Undertaker standing in the ring with the hat and coat on. I use that term loosely as it looks like Mark Callaway standing there dressed as Undertaker. For the first time, it seems like we’re seeing the real person instead of the character, which is a MAJOR change for him.

He looks around to the crowd, takes off his gloves, coat and hat and folds them up in the ring. With the fans applauding, he goes outside, kisses Michelle McCool, and walks up the ramp. Undertaker stops, looks back one more time, raises the fist, and lowers down through the ramp, fist still in the air, to end the show with the gong sounding one more time. There was no commentary for the last ten minutes, without even a goodbye (appropriate here).

That’s about as perfect of a sendoff as WWE has ever done. It was emotional, it felt special, and it came off like the real thing. Undertaker is the last vestige of that older generation and him breaking character for the first time ever and leaving is incredible to see. It’s why I don’t want to see him wrestle again and why it makes me sad to think that he will. Incredible stuff, and Thank You Taker.

Overall Rating: C+. There’s no way around it: this show is way way way way way way way WAY too long. I got through an hour of the show a few days back (you know I’m not watching this in one sitting) and looked down at the bar in near horror of how little space I had covered. Five hours, plus TWO HOURS of a Kickoff Show is just too much, especially when there’s stuff to be cut. What could be cut? Well off the top of my head:

AJ vs. Shane (move AJ to ANYTHING else and drop Shane) entirely or at least cut it down by about eight minutes

Corbin vs. Ambrose (I know it’s the Intercontinental Title but on a show this huge, it’s understandable)

Smackdown Women’s Title (it’s just nothing and felt like total filler)

Five to ten minutes each off of Reigns vs. Undertaker and HHH vs. Rollins (those combine for nearly fifty minutes total)

Pitbull

AT LEAST get this down to four and a half hours of main show. That can’t be too much to ask, right?

Other than the timing issues though, the show is mostly solid. There’s a ton of good stuff up until the mixed tag and then things start to fall apart. The Universal Title match was as perfect as it was going to be get but there’s just so much bad around it (Bray vs. Orton, Reigns vs. Undertaker, HHH vs. Rollins in that match that is still going on somewhere, with HHH still working the knee) that the good is dragged down.

At the end of the day, it all comes back to the timing issues as there’s almost no way to make a show this long work. It’s too much to sit through and it becomes a chore at the end. Just cut this down by a good hour (or two) and things are much better, but bigger is better for WWE and that’s not changing anytime soon. As it is, the show works more than it misses but it’s still not a classic by any means.

Ratings Comparison

Neville vs. Austin Aries

Original: A-

2018 Redo: B

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D

2018 Redo: D-

Dean Ambrose vs. Baron Corbin

Original: C+

2018 Redo: C-

Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles

Original: B

2018 Redo: B

Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

2018 Redo: C+

Sasha Banks vs. Bayley vs. Charlotte vs. Nia Jax

Original: C-

2018 Redo: D

Hardy Boyz vs. Anderson and Gallows vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Sheamus/Cesaro

Original: B

2018 Redo: C+

John Cena/Nikki Bella vs. The Miz/Maryse

Original: D

2018 Redo: D-

HHH vs. Seth Rollins

Original: C+

2018 Redo: B-

Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton

Original: F

2018 Redo: F

Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg

Original: B

2018 Redo: B

Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch vs. Carmella vs. Mickie James vs. Natalya

Original: D-

2018 Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns

Original: D+

2018 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B

2018 Redo: C+

Yeah I overrated a lot of this the first time around. It’s good, but not that good.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/04/07/wrestlemania-xxxiii-a-long-wait-for-a-long-show-with-a-long-ramp/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

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