Smackdown
Date: April 13, 2016
Location: Valley View Casino, San Diego, California
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton

It’s going to be an interesting week as most of the roster is off on the international tour. However we have some fresh names tonight in the Vaudevillains who debuted last week and the even fresher team of Enzo and Big Cass, both of whom will be in the tag team tournament tonight. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Del Rio vs. Styles and Jericho vs. Zayn tonight, both for the first time ever.

Maryse introduces the Miz for MizTV. Miz calls her the love of his life and the only woman worthy of being his wife. It seems that Maryse is the guest this week as Miz asks what it’s like to be married to him. That would be perfection with Maryse calling Miz an a-lister and a role model for children around the world. Miz actually gets on his knee in front of her to promise holidays with Leo in St. Bart’s, which Maryse calls the real life People Magazine.

This leads to them making out, only to be interrupted by Zack Ryder because he doesn’t seem to get that it’s over. Ryder asks Maryse what it’s like to be married to someone who wears more makeup than her. Yeah the title might be gone but Ryder is looking forward to seeing Cesaro take the title from Miz at Payback. This sets up a challenge for a title match right now but apparently Ryder already has a match tonight. For some reason Miz knows this and Ryder doesn’t.

Zack Ryder vs. Baron Corbin

Corbin throws Ryder around like the jobber that he is to start before sending him out to the apron. Whatever springboard move Ryder was trying is knocked out of the air with a single punch as the announcers put Corbin’s battle royal win over very hard. We hit the chinlock on Ryder, followed by a northern lariat (correctly called by Ranallo). Zack gets in a middle rope dropkick for his hope spot but the Broski Boot doesn’t work. Instead the End of Days puts Ryder away at 3:12.

Rating: D+. Well it was nice while it lasted Zack but we’re back to reality now. This was the same squash that it would have been even if Ryder never won the title in the first place, which makes that whole thing feel even less important. Corbin has a good presence to him and the finish still looks good but he’ll need to go somewhere else before this gets tiresome.

Post match Corbin goes after Ryder again but Dolph Ziggler runs out for the save. I’m assuming that’s Corbin’s first major win.

Kevin Owens mocks Renee Young and threatens to get involved in Zayn vs. Jericho. His advice is to have Renee go ask Sami if there’s any insight as to what’s going to happen in the main event.

Emma vs. Paige

Paige gets a jobber entrance. The announcers make various unfunny jokes and puns as Paige takes Emma into the corner to start, only to get caught in a rollup to send her head first into the bottom buckle. Emma stomps away in the corner and we hit a seated full nelson as Ranallo actually brings up the Fabulous Kangaroos. Paige kicks away and gets two off a running knee to the chest. Some right hands in the corner are broken up with Emma dropping Paige face first onto the top turnbuckle…..for the pin at 3:16.

Rating: C. Well it was no NXT classic but they did enough to make Emma look more like a player on the main roster. It’s a shame how badly they screwed her up a few years back but it’s nice to see that things could turn around for her. There’s potential there and if they’re going to set up something with this division, they’ll need all the help they can get.

We recap the first two tournament matches and the debut of Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows.

We look back at Bray Wyatt teaming with Roman Reigns on Monday. I guess we can call that the first shovel of dirt out of Bray’s grave after Rock buried him eight days prior. You know, because he totally did and when you’re buried, it’s because your career is over. Like, totally over and there’s no recovery ever.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady vs. Ascension

Enzo and Cass are WAY over here, as you would expect. Before the match, Enzo talks about how tough a neighborhood they grew up in. It was so tough that they almost got sent to live with their auntie and uncle in Bel-Air. He could think of a million bad things to say about the Ascension but the worst of all is that they’re the Ascension. Cass promises to win the titles and declares all of their opponents to be SAWFT.

Enzo and Konnor get things going with a hard shoulder dropping Amore. It’s off to Viktor who is quickly sent into the wrong corner, allowing the tag to Big Cass. Enzo gets slammed onto Viktor for two but Konnor knocks Amore off the apron and into the barricade to take over. Back in and Viktor slaps on a chinlock for a bit before avoiding a charge to send Konnor into the post. The hot tag brings in Cass for the house cleaning, including the Empire Elbow to Viktor. Everything breaks down and Konnor gets kicked in the face, followed by the East River Crossing and Rocket Launcher for the pin on Viktor at 4:33.

Rating: C. Nothing for the wrestling but the important thing here is how Enzo and Cass know how to work the formula. Cass is great at coming in and cleaning house after the smaller Enzo takes a big beating. There’s a great history of big guy/small guy teams and these two have more than enough charisma to go around, meaning they could have a nice future ahead of them.

AJ Styles talks about fighting everywhere to get to the top and now he has to fight Roman Reigns to get to the top of WWE. Alberto Del Rio comes in and says that Del Rio has been fighting for table scraps but tonight we’ll get to see if all that hype is real. Del Rio says AJ doesn’t belong here and AJ agrees. AJ: “I belong in the ring.”

AJ Styles vs. Alberto Del Rio

In a far too common theme tonight, Del Rio drives him into the corner to start as Ranallo compares AJ vs. Reigns to Muhammad Ali vs. Ken Norton. Well at least it’s not Scott Norton. The feeling out process sets up the dropdown into the dropkick, which you really should see coming if you’ve ever watched any AJ Styles match.

AJ fires off chops but gets kicked in the chest for two. A top rope ax handle gets two more before AJ sidesteps a charge to send Alberto’s shoulder into the post. The running enziguri knocks AJ off the apron and a big dropkicks ends AJ out to the floor again. Back from a break with AJ fighting out of a chinlock, as so often happens when we come back from a break.

The striking sequence drops Del Rio and AJ nips up, followed by the running clothesline in the corner. AJ loads up a pumphandle but gets countered into a Backstabber to leave his mouth hanging open. The low superkick misses though and AJ Pele’s him for two. Del Rio gets in a reverse superplex and thankfully doesn’t severely hurt AJ by dropping him on his head. Alberto misses the top rope double stomp but avoids the forearm. Instead it’s the armbreaker, which is quickly countered into a rollup for the pin on Alberto at 13:55.

Rating: B. They’re doing a good job of building AJ up as the guy who never gives up and fights until the end, especially against big names that are higher up on the food chain. It’s almost like they’re doing a good job of building up a challenger before a champion knocks him off in the title match. Good match here and the well booked story continues.

Goldust tells R-Truth that Golden Truth won’t be a thing tonight. Fandango comes in and announces himself as Goldust’s new partner, which means tandem gyrating. Truth doesn’t want to join them and looks flabbergasted.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Vaudevillains vs. Goldust/Fandango

English stomps on Goldust to start and a double right hand puts him down. The snap powerslam gets Goldust out of trouble and it’s off to Fandango for a comeback that goes nowhere. Well other than into a Whirling Dervish to send the Vaudevillains to the semi-finals that is.

We look back at Dean Ambrose taking over the Highlight Reel and laying Jericho out.

Jericho says he’s been beating up amateurs since he got back because people like Styles and Ambrose have no respect for the veterans. He’s the greatest of all time and proved it right here in this dump (“Yeah it’s a dump!”) when he beat the Rock and Stone Cold in one night. Tonight he’ll make Zayn feel the pain because he’s the best in the world at what he does.

Greetings From Puerto Rico video.

Sami Zayn vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho poses to start so Sami rips the skin off his chest with a chop. That sends Jericho outside for a chair through….and here’s Kevin Owens. He doesn’t get very far down the ramp before Dean Ambrose comes out with fliers for the Ambrose Asylum before sitting in on commentary. Sami finally remembers that a match is going on and rolls Jericho up for two. Dean annoys Jericho with a flier and we take a break.

Back with Owens on commentary as well and actually complimenting Dean on the new show. Jericho knocks Zayn outside and poses a bit before a top rope back elbow gets two. We hit the ASK HIM chinlock as Dean and Owens get in a mini argument, resulting in Owens throwing away his flier. Sami gets a quick two off a high cross body and the climb up the corner tornado DDT gets the same. The Helluva Kick misses though and the Walls go on to put Sami in real trouble.

Ropes are of course reached but Sami’s springboard is broken up by a running forearm. Owens and Ambrose are now full on cheerleaders until Jericho runs Dean over and sends him into the barricade. Jericho dives at Sami but hits Owens by mistake before heading back inside. Chris yells at Sami a lot, earning himself an exploder suplex into the corner. The Helluva Kick is loaded up but Owens comes in for the DQ at 15:11.

Rating: B-. I liked AJ vs. Del Rio a little bit more but this also set up a few things down the road while also building up the two pay per view matches. Sami winning without getting the pin is a good idea as you can’t keep having him get pinned all the time. It’s not a great match or anything but at least it set some stuff up for the future.

Sami and Dean clean house to end the show and likely set up a tag match.

Overall Rating: B. Now that’s more like it. This was how you run a Smackdown as there was good wrestling to go along with some (basic) storyline advancement. It’s always nice to see them doing something interesting and important instead of just having matches for the sake of matches. The extra wrestling helped as well with the mostly empty roster helping more than it hurt, which was quite the surprise.

Results

Baron Corbin b. Zack Ryder – End of Days

Emma b. Paige – Emma pinned Paige after dropping her onto the top turnbuckle

Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady b. Ascension – Rocket Launcher to Viktor

AJ Styles b. Alberto Del Rio – Rollup

Vaudevillains b. Goldust/Fandango – Whirling Dervish to Fandango

Sami Zayn b. Chris Jericho via DQ when Kevin Owens interfered

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Today we’re looking at someone a bit curvier in Maryse.

After a few years in developmental, Maryse debuted on the main roster in 2008. Here she is at Unforgiven.

Divas Title: Maryse vs. Michelle McCool

Michelle is champion. Michelle as a face just never worked. She’s such a natural villain and her pumping her fist doesn’t work at all. She hurts her knee going to the floor and Maryse works on it as we’re waiting for the people to get back from popcorn time to end this. Michelle works on Maryse’s leg in a heel hook but she gets a rope. The fans are all over this match already. A sitout gordbuster keeps the title on McCool.

Rating: D-. Michelle and Maryse are too hot to be a failure but the match was terrible. NO ONE cared and that was very clear. Nothing to see here and we’re moving on. Why this got almost six minutes was crazy but I’d assume that it was due to a long line at the Cena shirt booths. Horrible match.

Time for a TV match on Smackdown, September 19, 2008.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Maryse

Michelle is defending here and is still just the perky blonde. The title is brand new here too. Michelle takes her down to the mat with a front facelock but Maryse takes over with a headlock. McCool speeds things up and frustrates Maryse who can’t keep up with the champ. Maryse heads to the floor but she trips Michelle up and takes over.

A slingshot dropkick puts Michelle down and Maryse pounds away, only to get rolled up for two. Maryse cranks on a chinlock but McCool uses her height to get back out. Things speed up and a running flipping neckbreaker gets two for the champ. Maryse misses a charge into the corner and McCool hits Christopher Daniels’ Angel’s Wings to retain.

Rating: C-. It’s absolutely amazing how much more interesting a match like this is than the Divas of today. The main difference is that the girls here are athletes who use their athletic abilities in a wrestling ring. Today, we have girls who are mostly models who get some bare bones wrestling training but they look good in shorts. McCool, a chick who had only been wrestling full time for a few years at this point, looked more comfortable than Kelly EVER looked in her entire career. That’s a big reason why the Divas just stopped being interesting at all.

Off to Armageddon 2008 for the main thing the Divas are known for.

Maria/Mickie James/Kelly Kelly/Michelle McCool vs. Maryse/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Natalya

Santa’s Little Helper’s match here. The heels are in green and are elves I guess. Maria’s song is really catchy. I miss Michelle. Mickie vs. Maryse starts us off. Mickie keeps going after her and Maryse tries to pose. Off to Mickie vs. Natalya in the real fight here. Nattie is pretty new at this point. Kelly is Jewish and Striker calls her the Hot Hebrew. That sounds like a really bad coffee shop. The announcers are having a fun time with this. The match is totally pointless of course and it’s off to Maria. Somehow she gets compared to John Berzerker Nord. Everything breaks down and Michelle hits the Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) to end Maryse.

Rating: C+. Don’t bother trying to figure out if the rating is good because it isn’t, but there was a weird energy for this one and I had fun with it. Also Michelle in shorts and Maria with her energetic perkiness are never bad things. The girls looks hot and everyone was having fun in a nice breath of air before the main events. What more can you ask for?

We’ll jump ahead a bit to Night of Champions 2009.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Michelle McCool vs. Melina

This is a rematch from The Bash which was brought on by some bad acting. Michelle’s bra is sticking WAY out here. Melina gyrates like no one I’ve ever seen. Michelle is the first person to use her freaking brain and kicks Melina on her splits intro. And there’s your first botch as they mess up an arm drag. We get some kicks that don’t actually connect as I have a bad feeling about this match.

We hit the floor and are told that a slam of the face into the barricade is a DDT. Riiiiiiiight. Melina is laying on the apron and in a coole counter she pulls up onto the bottom rope to avoid a baseball slide. They’re hitting hard but at the same time, they’re botching the hell out of so many things. Michelle reverses a rollup into a rollup for the pin. At least it was short.

Rating: D. They were trying but this was just a mess and a half. They were botching stuff left and right with there being little flow or psychology at all. Michelle has gotten better which to be fair she couldn’t have gotten much worse. This was really bad as the two of them just do not have the chemistry.

Divas Title: Maryse vs. Gail Kim

Gail Kim is incorrectly called a two time Womens’ Champion. Gail slides to the corner to avoid a charge from the blonde and gets two off a bulldog. Maryse comes back with a kick to the face for two of her own but gets rolled up for another near fall. Kim goes up top but completely misses a top rope cross body to put both girls down. A victory roll doesn’t work for Gail and a quick DDT gives Maryse the title. This was nothing.

She even made it onto Wrestlemania XXVI.

Laycool/Vickie Guerrero/Maryse/Alicia Fox vs. Beth Phoenix/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Mickie James/Gail Kim

Beth is in white here and man alive it REALLY works for her. She’s also a face here which is really rare. Vickie and Gail start with Kim getting shoved backwards. Vickie poses and when she turns around, it’s Beth. All the good girls take their turns on Vickie in the corner so she shouts at them. Michelle breaks up a pin by Kelly and we already begin the parade of finishers (Gail totally botches Eat Defeat), culminating with Beth ENDING Fox with the Glam Slam. Michelle saves Vickie from Beth with a big boot before putting Vickie on the top rope. The “Hog Splash” is enough to pin Kelly.

Rating: D. Laycool and Beth looked GREAT out there so it doesn’t fail for them. No one else was in there long enough to make much of an impression, but again it’s amazing how much better the Divas are at this point. They have personalities and actual emotions instead of just staring at cue cards and botching everything they do.

From Over the Limit 2010.

Raw Women’s Title: Maryse vs. Eve Torres

This is better than I’d expect it to be actually. This has gotten some great build over the past few weeks and due to a lack of matches they have to give it a lot of time. Maryse randomly starts crying for no adequately explained reason. We actually get some near falls. Eve hits some screwed up face plant into a rollup for the pin. Cole, Striker and Lawler make jokes about Eve and just lose it on commentary.

Rating: C-. For what you had to work with here and given what Divas matches tend to be, this was actually decent. I tend to start most Divas matches at a D or so, meaning this was pretty good. There was some actual drama and Eve won with a nice finisher. Solid little match.

From shortly thereafter at Fatal Fourway.

Raw Women’s Title: Maryse vs. Alicia Fox vs. Gail Kim vs. Eve Torres

Eve is in blue again so I can’t complain at all. Everyone is in this at once which does little to get my hopes up on this. Yeah I don’t care at all about this. Everyone goes for submissions at once but everyone breaks them up to play up the whole fatal aspect of this. The ropes can’t be used for breaks apparently.

I’d bet that’ll be compromised about a million times here. Eve hooks a camel clutch and Gail gets a Boston Crab on Alicia at the same time. Maryse runs her mouth off and Alicia blasts her. Gail hits a dropkick which Striker of course calls a Jumping Bomb Angel Double Stomp. I hate him at times. Eve hits a very fast neckbreaker on Maryse and doesn’t cover, instead hitting a bad moonsault. And Alicia Fox wins the title by stealing the pin on Maryse. Oh dear.

Rating: D. Seriously, are we supposed to care about Alicia Fox? She’s been on TV like once this year and is now the champion. I don’t get the appeal of her at all, but I guess someone does. I still don’t care about the division at all, but it needs to be merged with the other one to help it survive.

Maryse was on NXT Season 3, including October 26, 2010.

Maryse/Ted DiBiase vs. Goldust/Aksana

Aksana does look sexy in red. I’ll give her that. And just as the bell rings the video freezes. Ah there we go. The girls start us off. They yell at each other and Cole says his producer told him that if they’re talking let us hear them. AMEN! Maryse knocks off the horns and rips off the tail so now Aksana is just in a skin tight red suit. I’m sold.

It’s a mixed tag so the men have to fight each other. Of course we’re just talking about the wedding here which I guess makes sense here. We head to the floor with DiBiase being all ticked off. Why doesn’t he just grab the belt and run if that’s why he’s here? Maryse helps her man as Aksana plays cheerleader.

Goldust plays Ricky Morton for like a minute until the girls come in. The guys go to the floor and Aksana gets a small package out of nowhere for the pin. Is that her first win? DiBiase goes for the belt but Aksana slaps him and gets it back. The good people get away with it, proving that faces can get away with anything. Ventura and Heenan were right all along! Match ran about 6:30.

Rating: C. Not terrible and fine for a TV main event on a show like this one. This wasn’t your standard match where the guys did the majority of the work and the girls were in there for like 10 seconds. The girls were fairly decent out there which is surprising to me. Not a classic or anything but it did what it was supposed to do and didn’t seem that long.

Here’s a quick TV match from Smackdown on February 18, 2011.

Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix vs. Layla/Maryse

After the faces enter we take a break and get a clip of the first regular episode of Smackdown (remember that there was a pilot about four months earlier) from August of 99. Michelle has a bad foot so is out for awhile. Beth vs. Maryse to start. Michelle is on commentary and wants to know why Eve is the Divas Champion when Michelle got a pin also.

Off to Layla vs. Eve with the champion dominating. Michelle seems a bit irritated by Layla here as we continue to push the split. Eve fires away with kicks and Michelle gets off commentary. She limps up the steps and gets in the face of Layla. Beth hits her in the foot to bring her down. In the confusion, Layla and Maryse hit what I think was supposed to be a double superkick so that Layla can pin Eve at 2:27. No rating as this was mainly Layla vs. Eve but this was no worse than your usual Divas match.

We’ll wrap it up on Raw, July 25, 2011.

Maryse/Melina vs. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres

At least they all look good. Eve and Maryse start and Eve hits a downward spiral and then dances before trying a standing moonsault for two. Maryse gives her a Stinkface and Kelly comes in. Everything breaks down and Melina misses a charge, allowing the K2 to end it at 2:51. Thank goodness I don’t have to rate it. Match was AWFUL but the girls looked good.

So yeah, Maryse is the definition of a blonde bombshell and that’s all she needed to be. She could have passable matches but she was around to make everyone jealous and do that cool thing with her hand. At the end of the day though, Miz goes home to her every night in one of the most appropriate pairings ever. Maryse was around at a time when you only had to look good and be able to have a decent match to be a top Diva and that’s about as far as she got.

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Today we’re going to look at a Diva who got good, married a legend, then got great. Today is Michelle McCool.

Michelle got her start through the 2004 Diva Search. After a bit in developmental, McCool would be on Smackdown, including this match on June 30, 2005. This is Melina’s debut.

Melina vs. Michelle McCool

Melina is doing the A-List gimmick and talked about all the celebrities coming to see her first match. There were even paparazzi waiting for her as she made her entrance. Michelle isn’t much yet other than a hot blonde in barely there shorts. Melina is sent to the floor and kicked through the ropes but Michelle drags her back inside.

A rollup gets two for Michelle and a kick to the face gets the same. Melina begs off and offers a handshake and the tall blonde actually goes for it. She earns that right hand to the face and Melina chokes away for awhile. An awkward looking kick to the face puts Michelle down as her shorts don’t want to stay down. Melina powerbombs Michelle out of the corner and rolls her up with feet on the ropes for the pin. Too short to rate but the outfits were better than the match.

We’ll jump ahead to the next year to Smackdown on October 6, 2006. Michelle is now a sexy teacher with a team of KC James and Idol “Damien Sandow” Stevens.

Michelle McCool vs. Ashley

McCool stomps away at the ribs to start and takes Ashley into the corner for a hair drag. Ashley comes back with some forearms to the spine and a Boston crab but James comes out to drag Michelle to the ropes. They trade forearms until McCool rolls through a cross body and grabs the skirt for the pin. Ashley looked TERRIBLE here.

Another one off match from Smackdown, I believe on May 10, 2007.

Michelle McCool vs. Jillian Hall

Jillian takes her into the corner to start and cartwheels into an elbow drop. A chinlock doesn’t get Hall anywhere and Michelle rolls her up for two. Michelle flips into a jackknife cover for two before a belly to belly gets the same. After all that, a backbreaker of all things is enough to give Michelle the pin.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad but you can see Michelle getting better out there. She still isn’t what you would call good yet but she didn’t embarrass herself out there and actually looked like she could wrestle longer than a few minutes. The belly to belly and backbreaker weren’t bad and both were a nice change of pace from the usual Diva offense.

Off to Survivor Series 2007 for the big Divas mess.

Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla

One fall to a finish here and Beth is Women’s Champion. The Divas Title doesn’t exist yet which is how things should have stayed. Layla is WAY hotter being evil and Melina has some gorgeous hair. She also falls off the apron during her splits entrance which is worth a chuckle. The second attempt works and thankfully she’s smiling after screwing it up. Mickie and Maria are ridiculously good looking as well.

Victoria and Michelle start things off with Michelle taking over with a headlock. A big boot puts Victoria (Tara in TNA if you’re new at this) down and it’s off to Torrie who can’t wrestle a watchable match to save her life. Victoria kills her mostly dead with a side slam and it’s off to Layla who is so bad here that she can’t even beat up torrie. Kelly and Jillian come in and Jillian tries to scream a bit, only to get rolled up for two. Maria comes in, basically wearing a bikini.

Thankfully Beth comes in to flatten Maria before handing it right back to Layla. Actually make that Melina, who misses a charge at Maria and crotches herself, allowing for the hot tag to Mickie. James beats up everyone in sight, has her partners take out Beth, and hits the Long Kiss Goodnight on Melina for the pin. What’s the Long Kiss Goodnight you ask? That would be every 13 year old’s dream: Mickie literally bends Melina back and kisses her before kicking her in the head for the pin.

Rating: D. Yes, the match sucked. Yes, most of the women in this are horrible wrestlers. Yes, if you’re complaining about these things, you’re missing the point. This was pure fan service as you had ten girls in either tight or barely there outfits and one hot woman kissing another hot woman before kicking her in the head. If you’re looking for a wrestling match here, you’re in the wrong place.

Here’s a title match from Great American Bash 2008.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya

This is for the inaugural title and there’s probably some stupid tournament that set this up. Michelle takes her to the mat and speeds things up. Natalya takes over and hooks a surfboard but Michelle counters (impressively so) into a heel hook attempt which is countered. Nattie hooks the Sharpshooter but Michelle gets the ropes. A second attempt is countered into the heel hook and Michelle wins the title.

Rating: D. The joke here was that hopefully Michelle enjoyed the Undertaker semen that came with that belt. I’m not sure how much anyone cared or if anyone on the planet that didn’t work for WWE thinks there was a need for another female title, but they unified it…eventually, as in like two years later.

And another from Unforgiven 2008.

Divas Title: Maryse vs. Michelle McCool

Michelle is champion. Michelle as a face just never worked. She’s such a natural villain and her pumping her fist doesn’t work at all. She hurts her knee going to the floor and Maryse works on it as we’re waiting for the people to get back from popcorn time to end this. Michelle works on Maryse’s leg in a heel hook but she gets a rope. The fans are all over this match already. A sitout gordbuster keeps the title on McCool.

Rating: D-. Michelle and Maryse are too hot to be a failure but the match was terrible. NO ONE cared and that was very clear. Nothing to see here and we’re moving on. Why this got almost six minutes was crazy but I’d assume that it was due to a long line at the Cena shirt booths. Horrible match.

Michelle would get another shot at the title at The Bash.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Melina vs. Michelle McCool

Melina was just freaking stunning at this point once she dyed her hair black. Michelle was getting there too and she has Alicia with her here for reasons that I’m sure don’t mean anything. For some reason I like Michelle’s music. Melina comes out hot. And she’s being intense too. Michelle can actually work pretty well.

She hooks a hold where Melina’s foot is touching Melina’s head from behind. DANG that girl is flexible. Ok five minutes have passed but I’m back now. Melina’s knee is hurt of course as it always is. Michelle kicks her head off for two. That sounded painful as all goodness. Styles Clash gives Michelle the title.

Rating: C-. It did its job. This was just supposed to be an appetizer to the remainder of the show and that’s what it did. And I think that’s enough padding to say that the girls looked great here and that was the whole point to this. I’m glad they kept this quick because neither girl was able to carry the other.

Michelle was on the Smackdown team at Bragging Rights 2009.

Michelle McCool/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Melina/Kelly Kelly/Gail Kim

Beth in blue is an amazing sight. This was when Michelle got really hot really fast. Look at the rosters. Who do you think is going to win? Beth and Gail start. Can’t believe I’m typing this but DANG at Michelle. All three Smackdown girls have been in there in less than a minute. Kelly tries a sunset flip. It’s bad. This is just painfully uninteresting as there is less than zero chance for Raw to win two in a row. I mean the match is ok, but people just couldn’t care any less as there is zero drama. Crowd is more or less dead too. Glam Slam ends Melina for the pin.

Rating: W. As in who cares? Like I said, the idea that THIS was going to decide the cup and not the big tag was just ridiculous and it crippled the match. Also the match was just generic. This could have been any other Divas match which really shows how bland the division is at this point.

We’ll jump ahead to Night of Champions 2010 for a title unification match against Melina.

Women’s Titles: Michelle McCool vs. Melina

Michelle in red: DANG. Nice back shot of her as the bell rings. Layla is ticked at her for being in there as we hear about the history of the Women’s Title, which is of course mostly nonsense but whatever. Crowd is DEAD. Yes, a Chicago crowd is dead. Michelle sends her to the floor but no one sends her back in. NICE Blockbuster from Orton’s elevated DDT position by Michelle. I love the Blockbuster (jumping front flip neckbreaker) so that was sweet for me.

Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) is blocked and Melina takes over. Decent belly to belly suplex for two by the blonde. Kelly gets up on the apron marking the first time they do anything all night as Melina has her rolled up. Kelly is for Melina here but just doesn’t get it I guess. The girls all beat up Michelle and send her back in. They need to stop slapping the mat as I think it’s a referee count.

Melina does the Matrix Move but Michelle just kicks her. Again: kicking and punching people works best a lot of the time. Both girls hit the floor as the girls yell at Michelle, showing off their acting…..talent. Layla interferes and Michelle gets to hit a, wait for it, wait for it, BIG BOOT TO UNIFY THE BELTS.

Rating: C-. Surprisingly decent match here although the girls were absolutely pointless out there. Layla interfering is fine as it’s expected, but what about the heat between them allegedly? This wasn’t much but at least it gets rid of the stupid Divas Title, or at least I hope so. Better than most Divas matches though so I’ll give it that.

Another Divas Title match at Hell in a Cell 2010.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya

Michelle looks good in her gold shorts if nothing else. Striker tries to claim Michelle is the best in ring working woman ever. I’m not even going to make a joke about that because it’s not fair to make fun of people that stupid. Michelle dominates for a bit with leg based offence but Natalya takes over with power stuff. This is rather boring if you couldn’t tell. Michelle accidently drills Layla and Natalya gets a rollup for two. Sharpshooter goes on, is countered into a heel hook and is countered again. Then Layla throws in her shoe for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Yeah I don’t care either. The division was such a disaster at this point but unifying the titles was the smartest move all around. There just wasn’t a valid reason to have both belts around, especially when the talent pool was very deep. It would get better, but as usual it wasn’t going to last.

Michelle would be in a battle royal on Raw, December 13, 2010.

Battle Royal

Laycool, Kelly, Maryse, Eve, Bella Twins, Rose, Melina, Alicia, Kaitlyn, Beth, Tamina, Natalya

I think that’s everyone but I’m not sure. Everyone surrounds Laycool and to their credit they’re like BRING IT ON. Tamina chills in the corner for a bit but puts out Kaitlyn. You can go through the ropes here. Rosa is out second. She has never won a match on the main roster. Tamina is out.

A Bella is out as they’re flying out of here insanely fast. The other Bella goes out with ease as Laycool is dominating. Maryse is gone. There’s no particular rhyme or reason here as you would expect in a battle royal. Michelle, looking GREAT in those red shorts, puts out Kelly who looks GREAT in those white shorts. Beth Glam Slams Melina out.

Down to Laycool, Beth, Natalya, Gail and Alicia. Beth kicks Layla out and she FREAKS. She distracts the Glamazon long enough to let Michelle put out Beth. Natalya puts out Alicia and Gail and walks into a big kick from Michelle who wins this at approximately 3:30.

Rating: C. This is hard to grade as battle royals aren’t something that there are standards for. This was fine for what it was and one of the girls that should have won it got the award so I can’t complain. Also you have hot women so how much can you really complain? Good stuff.

Time for a gimmick match at TLC 2010.

Beth Phoenix/Natalya vs. Laycool

Tables match. Quick recap video which is of the table on Friday which didn’t work. No tagging here thank goodness. The pink table with the painting from Friday is brought in as Laycool is down early. Crowd is QUIET here. Lawler says he’s never seen a Diva go through a table. That’s just amusing. Double fireman’s carry by Beth is very impressive. Striker makes an important point: any method of going through the table counts. Also it’s only one Diva required for a win.

Laycool in control now as the fans do not care at all. Beth is on the floor now as Laycool takes over. SICK landing by Beth as her foot gets hooked on a rope and she lands straight on her back/head. That was painful as heck, it had to be. Michelle sets for a Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) through a table on Nattie but Beth comes back for the save.

Not table for Michelle (“JUST WAIT UNTIL MARK HEARS ABOUT THIS!!!”) as Layla rakes Beth’s eyes. Layla beats on Beth for awhile but can’t suplex her through it. Double gorilla press by the blondes to Layla until Michelle kicks both in the ribs. Beth may have fallen out for a bit. HOKEY SMOKE!!! Natalya puts Layla on top of Michelle and puts them BOTH in a Sharpshooter at the same time. TAKE THAT BRET!!!

The nice chicks set up the tables but Michelle sends Beth to the floor to make it 2-1 again. They set for a double superplex but Beth saves again. A lot of near finishes in this one indeed. Down goes Beth so they set for it again but they’re shoved off. The table DID NOT BREAK so Natalya is like screw it and splashes them through it to end this.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t as bad as you would have thought as Laycool fought them off far better than people would have predicted. It was a good match even but did anyone ever think Laycool had a realistic shot out there? Not a bad match or anything but at the same time it didn’t really get me into the match and it kind of dragged. Still fun though and that Sharpshooter was GREAT.

At the start of 2011, Laycool was still hanging out with Vickie Guerrero, who was with Dolph Ziggler. Vickie wanted Dolph to become World Heavyweight Champion, so she made this match on Smackdown, February 4, 2011.

Smackdown World Title: Kelly Kelly/Edge vs. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler

We even get big match intros for this. Chimmel has cut down on the throat cracking during Edge’s intro. The genders have to match here. Vickie says if there’s a spear the title is vacated. The guys start us off with Edge in control. He wants the spear and Vickie shouts at him to do it. Ziggler tags both members of Laycool so we get Michelle. Off to Kelly to make it Kelly Kelly vs. Michelle McCool for the World Heavyweight Championship as we take a break.

Kelly is all fired up here and beats up both members of Laycool with her gymnastics. Instead though Michelle catches a rana on the floor and spins Kelly into the barricade. That gets two back in the ring. Dolph: “Stay down Barbie!” Layla in now as Kelly is in trouble. Belly to belly by Michelle gets two. Kelly backflips out of a suplex and slaps the heck out of McCool to put both girls down.

Is there a reason why the initials on Dolph’s tights are backwards? Layla gets a head scissors choke on Kelly for a bit. Kelly fights back and it’s an X-Factor to break the momentum. The referee misses the tag to Edge allows Layla to beat on Kelly a bit more. Edge goes after Ziggler anyway but Michelle misses a big kick to Layla. Edge is ready for the tag but instead Kelly spears Layla to retain the world title at 6:50 shown of 10:20.

Rating: C. Decent main event here with a nice ending. Vickie said Edge couldn’t use a spear, not Kelly. It’s kind of cheap but it worked just fine for the ending to a TV main event. I’d have liked more Edge though as he was in there maybe a minute. I guess that was the point though as it made the title seem to be in jeopardy. This was just ok though as it was really Kelly vs. Laycool for the most part. Still though, creative way to have Edge be in trouble.

Here’s one of Laycool’s final matches together as the problems are mounting up. From Wrestlemania XXVII.

John Morrison/Snooki/Trish Stratus vs. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler

Barely any story here as it’s just there to give us Snooki, which is supposed to mean something. Vickie is with Laycool here because she’s already screwing Dolph at this point. Trish is STUNNING as a brunette here too. Laycool attacks to start and the guys get involved as well. Michelle shoves Layla to start so Trish comes in and beats Michelle up. The Matrish is broken up with a stomp but Trish escapes the Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) with a facebuster.

Michelle and Stratus slug it out on the top before falling to the floor at the same time. Layla tries to interfere and gets decked as well, only to have Trish dive off the apron and take both of them out. The Chick Kick gets two on Michelle as the guys come in sans tags. Starship Pain to the floor takes Ziggy out and there’s the tag to Snooki for a handspring elbow to Michelle. That and a splash are good for the pin.

Rating: D+. Trish and Laycool looked hot, Snooki did her two moves decently enough, the guys did almost nothing at all and Vickie was kept to a minimum in the less than three and a half minutes this ran. For a match that short with Trish looking that good, how much can you really complain here? Laycool would be split in a month with Michelle leaving the company.

We’ll wrap it up with Michelle’s last match in WWE, from Extreme Rules 2011.

Michelle McCool vs. Layla

More or less a street fight here and the loser leaves WWE. Michelle wisely jumps Layla during her lay on the rope entrance. Out to the floor as this is another intense brawl. A shot into the table gets two for Michelle. Big boot misses and here comes Layla. Belly to belly gets two for Michelle as we hit the floor again.

They fight on the barrier of all things with Michelle taking over. DIAMOND DUST gets two for Layla as they come back in. Faithbreaker is countered into the Layout for two. Michelle counters a jackknife cover into a Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) but can’t cover immediately. Layla counters the cover into a rollup/crucifix pin to get rid of Michelle.

Rating: C+. I liked this again. The Divas can do pretty well if they’re given the proper amount of time. Layla winning here is probably due to Michelle leaving soon if not tonight apparently which is fine. Definitely one of the better matches with the females in awhile as this worked fine. Layle is getting a lot better every time she gets in there, which is definitely a good sign.

Layla cries as she leaves.

Michelle gets the goodbye song treatment but Kharma (Awesome Kong) debuts. Implant Buster kills Michelle dead with ease. All of the Divas are freaked out. Beth is made to look the most prominent here.

Michelle McCool is a woman with a very simple formula: tall, blonde, good looking, small outfits, passable in the ring. She gets a lot of the HHH treatment as people say it’s just because of her spouse but Michelle was good long before then. The Laycool team was a perfect fit for her and I had fun watching her. She and Layla carried the Divas division for a long time and they made it work better than anyone in the years around their time.

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NXT
Date: June 28, 2011
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: William Regal, Todd Grisham

It’s another elimination week to get us down to the final two which will hopefully end soon after that. The final three are Darren Young, Conor O’Brian and Titus O’Neil. It seems like the competition is Titus’ to lose here but you never know with this show. That being said, I’d probably bet on O’Brian to win it because we all want to see him for another four months down the road right? Let’s get to it.

Here’s Darren Young who now has no pro as Chavo has left. Young says that Chavo quit because he couldn’t handle the fact that his rookie was better. Young points out how he’s faced Cena and main evented Summerslam this year which is something Chavo has never done. True actually.

O’Brian comes out to say that after tonight, Young is done. He promises utter destruction.

Darren Young vs. Conor O’Brian

They fight over a tieup to start and head to the floor. Hot crowd tonight too. Back inside and Conor takes over with a clothesline. A shoulder by O’Brian gets two. Young hits a neckbreaker on the apron and both guys are down as we take a break. Back with O’Brian escaping a cravate but getting thrown down for two. Off to a neck crank by Young which doesn’t last long.

Kozlov isn’t here tonight either apparently as he’s in Australia with the Raw roster. Chinlock doesn’t work long and O’Brian hits a slingshot to send Young into the corner. Young hits the ropes and gets his head kicked off by a big boot. That looked good. Regal brings up the point that these guys know each other way too well. Young hits Three Amigos to the biggest heat he’s gotten since he had a big yellow N on his chest. A Frog Splash ends this a few seconds later at 8:45.

Rating: C+. Not bad here and that big kick was the biggest part of the whole thing. The lack of pros actually helped a lot here as it was just a competition rather than about the pros, which is the point of the show. O’Brian is still dull but if he can get even a single move going for him it’s an improvement.

Tatsu is at his shrine with his action figure again and Kidd comes up and breaks it. They have a match later but Yoshi jumps him and attacks him until he’s pulled off.

Tyson Kidd vs. Yoshi Tatsu

TYSON’S HAIR IS GONE! He cut that little thing off his head and it’s due to Bret pulling on it apparently. Yoshi is all ticked off and hammers away to start, sending Kidd to the floor. HARD chops in the corner and Kidd is in trouble. Kidd comes back, hitting what looked like a forearm off the middle rope. On the floor he hits a dropkick to send Yoshi into the steps as we take a break.

Back and we’re in a chinlock by Kidd. He works the arm and gets two off a hammerlock suplex. Big kick into the arm has Yoshi in agony. Fujiwara Armbar goes on which is becoming a very popular move anymore. Yoshi starts his comeback with his variety of kicks. Big kick gets a close two as the fans are into this again. They go up and Kidd is shoved off. He manages a dropkick to crotch Yoshi though and a top rope rana gets two. I would have bet on that being the ending. Rollup gets two for Yoshi. Another big kick finally ends Kidd at 9:20. Abrupt ending but rather good.

Rating: B. For NXT, this was AWESOME. They were allowed to go out there and beat the heck out of each other. Those kicks and 2 counts were great and I really didn’t know who was going to win there at the end. Sick high kick to put Kidd down at the end also made this a very good match and one of the best NXT matches I’ve seen in a long time.

JTG is getting ready and here’s Horny in a trashcan which he’s able to walk in somehow. O’Neil comes up to stop an attack because he’s only trying to steal the gold jewelry because he’s a leprechaun. They get in an argument over what it’s made of. I give up.

Titus O’Neil vs. JTG

Maryse is on commentary here for no reason other than “she feels like it”. O’Neil throws him around as Regal and Maryse argue a bit. Horny has a note for Maryse and it’s in English apparently. It’s an old school style of do you love me? Circle one. We hear about the required height to date Maryse as JTG takes over a bit. Maryse is taking pictures as O’Neil fights back. JTG is sent to the floor and almost runs into Horny. He gets on the apron and poses at JTG. Back in the ring the Clash of the Titus ends this at 3:20.

Rating: C. Just a quick match here as Titus continues to be so far and away better than everyone else in this season it’s unreal. Nothing of note here as JTG is still a jobber, no matter which way he’s leaning on the face/heel spectrum. Maryse was far more of the focus here than the match and I can’t say I blame them here.

Maryse rips up the letter post match.

Raw Rebound eats up some time. They only talk about the main event and the Punk promo though. That’s still awesome stuff, but it makes me think Cena wins clean at the PPV. Just parts of it here though instead of whole thing due to time. Most of the controversial stuff here is gone.

Grisham says that Punk has been suspended indefinitely and Vince might be on Raw.

Time for the elimination and thankfully O’Brian is gone. He asks Hunter (HHH I presume) for a chance to play the game.

But wait we’re not done yet because someone else is going to the finals. Derrick Bateman is back and Bryan is his pro again. What in the world? Why are they adding someone else NOW? Do they really want to extend this even further? I’m going to be at the show on August 2. There better be a new season by then.

Overall Rating: B. All things considered, this was the best episode of NXT in months. There were good matches and the crowd was red hot all night. O’Brian finally being gone is the right choice because you could make a case for Young or O’Neil winning the whole thing. Bateman being added is uh….puzzling. At least he was funny during his time here so it’s not too bad. Good show this week that flew by in a good way.

Results

Darren Young b. Conor O’Brian – Frog Splash

Yoshi Tatsu b. Tyson Kidd – High Kick

Titus O’Neil b. JTG – Clash of the Titus

Conor O’Brian was eliminated in 3^rd place.

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Smackdown
Date: September 19, 2008
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz

We’re a little bit after Unforgiven 2008 here and I have no idea why we’re watching this show. This was requested a few months ago and now that I finally get around to it, I have no idea why it’s on my list. Anyway, HHH is world champion and is facing MVP in a match which may be for the title in the main event. Other than that nothing jumps off the page at me on the card. Let’s get to it.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Maryse

Michelle is defending here and is still just the perky blonde. The title is brand new here too. Michelle takes her down to the mat with a front facelock but Maryse takes over with a headlock. McCool speeds things up and frustrates Maryse who can’t keep up with the champ. Maryse heads to the floor but she trips Michelle up and takes over.

A slingshot dropkick puts Michelle down and Maryse pounds away, only to get rolled up for two. Maryse cranks on a chinlock but McCool uses her height to get back out. Things speed up and a running flipping neckbreaker gets two for the champ. Maryse misses a charge into the corner and McCool hits Christopher Daniels’ Angel’s Wings to retain.

Rating: C-. It’s absolutely amazing how much more interesting a match like this is than the Divas of today. The main difference is that the girls here are athletes who use their athletic abilities in a wrestling ring. Today, we have girls who are mostly models who get some bare bones wrestling training but they look good in shorts. McCool, a chick who had only been wrestling full time for a few years at this point, looked more comfortable than Kelly EVER looked in her entire career. That’s a big reason why the Divas just stopped being interesting at all.

Vickie and Big Show are in the back and Show says he’ll win the title. Eve comes in and says she wants to wrestle, so we look at Taker getting beaten up at Unforgiven. Ok then.

Some people are at a bar in Nashville which is across the street from the arena.

Ryan Braddock vs. Festus

Festus is more famous as Luke Gallows but he’s something close to a pretzel here. Braddock was there for about five minutes and means nothing at all. The idea of Festus is that he stays in a stupor until the bell rings when he’s unstoppable. He and his friend Jesse are part of a moving company who are moving things to another network. There’s the bell and down goes Braddock. Braddock avoids a charge and dropkicks Festus into the corner. Braddock hooks a chinlock but Festus wakes up and massacres Braddock until the movers tape Braddock up with duct tape and bubble wrap for the DQ.

Post break Braddock is carried away. Cute idea but it’s pretty stupid when it goes on this long.

Show and Vickie are in the back and Vickie is going to make Undertaker apologize tonight. Show says he’ll knock Taker out. We see Show’s heel turn from Unforgiven again.

Shelton Benjamin pops up and says he’s the gold standard. He makes fun of R-Truth for being an ex-con. This gold standard idea was death for Shelton.

Shelton Benjamin vs. R-Truth

Shelton is US Champion but this is non-title. Truth only debuted two weeks before this. Shelton takes him to the mat but Truth makes the rope. The spinning forearm puts Shelton down and Truth stomps away in the corner. Shelton gets in a single shot but Truth will have none of it, hitting a side kick for two. Shelton hits the T-Bone Exploder but doesn’t cover.

There’s a backbreaker and Shelton bends Truth over his knee to stay on it. He whips Truth into the corner before hooking a chinlock with a knee in the back. Truth comes back with some right hands and they botch a drop toehold. Back to the chinlock which is turned into a sleeper, but Truth comes back with a jawbreaker. Shelton tries a German but gets victory rolled into the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here again as Truth was too new to mean much other than his rapping stuff. Shelton was just worthless at this point with all of the Gold Standard nonsense as he looked stupid and slowed WAY down, taking away the majority of the appeal he had. The match was just ok.

Gregory Helms pops up during Truth’s exit, saying the price of gold just went down.

Here’s Jeff Hardy for a chat. He says that he’s been here on and off for ten years and he’s the charismatic enigma. Jeff says he’s confident and comfortable in his own skin and he hopes the fans respect that. HHH has motivated him and at No Mercy, Jeff isn’t going to grab the brass ring. He’s going to grab the WWE Championship. As for Vladimir Kozlov…I guess he’ll have to wait because here’s Brian Kendrick. He says Jeff is forgetting about him so Jeff makes fun of Kendrick for awhile. Kendrick makes fun of Hardy’s drug issues which is the height of irony. Jeff says let’s go.

The Brian Kendrick vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff whacks Kendrick in the face to start and pounds away in the corner. Jeff loads up a powerbomb or something like it but he gets backdropped to the floor as we take a break. Back with Jeff in a half crab but Hardy makes the rope. Kendrick easily snapmares Jeff back down and we hit the same hold again. Jeff comes back with a mule kick and a sitout gordbuster for two. Kendrick gets in a boot to the face and tries Sliced Bread but gets countered into a backslide for the pin.

Rating: D-. What in the world was going on here? This was one of the least interesting matches I’ve seen in a long time and it had two pretty exciting guys in it. Kendrick went south fast after Unforgiven so this was just another part in that process. Hardy would move on to much bigger and better things of course. Horribly uninteresting match though.

Kozlov pops up on stage and kicks Jeff’s head off.

Vickie is having a new TV installed when Show comes in to say Undertaker is here. Vickie makes the cameraman imitate Undertaker and say that he’s sorry. And never mind as it’s Chavo in a costume. This was so stupid.

We see the Undertaker attack video again.

Time for Carlito’s Cabana with Primo in there along with the host. We have some mic issues as we can hear what’s being said but apparently the live audience can’t. It’s quickly fixed and the guest is Primo. Ok then. Primo says his first win last week was easy and the two of them will win the tag titles soon. After a brief argument over who the host of the show is, here are Hawkins and Ryder, the tag champions. Helms pops up again and makes fun of their names.

The champs say Primo is a joke so Primo asks who these guys are. Ryder: “Bro are you serious? You know it!” Carlito finds it funny that Hawkins and Ryder are champions and wants a title match right now. The champs say no because they used to be part of La Familia. Primo: “YOU GUYS SPEAK SPANISH TOO!” Primo talks in Spanish and apparently he swears a lot as Carlito freaks out.

Ryder says the title match is next week and steals Carlito’s line. Carlito asks for someone to pack up the set so here come Jesse and Festus. The champs jump Carlito and Primo, but Primo sneaks out and rings the bell. Festus snaps and cleans house, chasing away the champs with a palm tree.

Maria is drawing something in the back when Brie Bella pops up. She compliments Maria’s art and says she’s heard Maria designs outfits in her spare time. Brie asks for a second when Victoria and Natalya come in to make fun of the other chicks. Natalya and Victoria accuse Brie of having a crush on Horny before saying there’s a handicap match next week and ripping up Eve’s drawings. I have no idea what I just saw.

Scotty Goldman (Colt Cabana) makes fun of Khali and Singh, including with a Singh puppet.

Scotty Goldman vs. Great Khali

Total massacre, Punjabi Plunge, about 90 seconds.

Khali vs. Kozlov next week.

Raw ReBound is Jericho retaining the world title in a cage match over Punk. Jericho later said that it should be JBL vs. Batista with the winner facing Jericho later. Instead Jericho will defend against Shawn at the PPV in a ladder match.

Chavo throws out Hawkins/Bam Neely/Ryder so he (and we) can watch Taker getting beaten down for the 6^th time tonight. Taker pops up on screen and Chavo gets grabbed by the arm of an otherwise unseen Undertaker.

HHH vs. MVP

Non-title here. Feeling out process to start and MVP grabs a headlock to get things going. A hiptoss puts HHH down and MVP poses a lot. HHH finally takes MVP down and crotch chops him to tick him off as we take a break. Back as HHH hooks a headlock on the mat but MVP grabs the arm to take over again. Apparently MVP worked over the arm during the break. Works for me. The armbar stays on for a LONG time as MVP keeps control. I mean it’s on for a good three minutes or so.

MVP finally mixes things up with a DDT on the arm for two. He loads up the big boot in the corner but HHH comes out of the corner with a jumping knee to the face. A neckbreaker puts MVP down but HHH charges into a boot in the corner. That means nothing though as HHH spinebusts him down and out to the floor. HHH follows him out and sends MVP into the table but MVP gets in a shot to the arm. They head back in and MVP comes off the top, but he dives into the Pedigree to give HHH the win.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t awful but DANG that middle part was weak. It just kept going and then it meant nothing a few moments later. MVP never quite got over that hump into the main event but he was pretty solid at this point. This match though was basically just something for HHH to do for a few minutes before he got to Hardy at the PPV. Weak main event to a bad show.

Post match here’s Kozlov to stare down HHH. MVP gets in a shot to the Game and Kozlov takes over. HHH comes back with a facebuster but walks into the headbutt to the chest to drop him. Kozlov stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. What in the world was going on here? This was one of the least interesting shows I’ve seen in a very long time. I don’t want to see the PPV and it feels like it should be Kozlov vs. HHH instead of Hardy getting the shot. Other than the main event which was ok at best, everyone was sluggish and nothing was interesting at all. Terrible show.

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NXT
Date: July 26, 2011
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

Will we see O’Neil vs. Young VIII? Will Horny continue to think that Maryse likes him? Will there be more pro vs. pro matches that have absolutely nothing to do with the rookies whom the show is about? Can we actually manage to drag this out into our fifth month? If we go past next week we’ll hit that mark. I mean dude, it’s almost like they have no idea where this is going and are just running around with their heads cut off. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Tatsu vs. Kidd. I guess they get their fourth match tonight too. Isn’t that what Superstars is for? There’s a necklace on a pole match as Tatsu tries to put his shrine back together. Oh dear.

Titus O’Neil vs. Derrick Bateman

Bateman is in Creed/Balboa trunks since we’re in Philly. Todd says Bateman’s mentality might be to take O’Neil out of the competition early so he doesn’t have to deal with him later. Whoa whoa WHOA. WE’RE STILL EARLY IN THIS THING??? I’m sorry I need a minute. O’Neil dominates to start with his power game. Neither pro is here tonight and Regal wants to know where they are.

Titus grabs the arm but Bateman fights out of it. Ok never mind as he goes shoulder first into the corner. Regal says Titus has the perfect build for a star. Back to the arm as the crowd is dead. Bateman is thrown to the floor and looks like he wants to leave but Young comes out and says take Titus out. We take a break to shill WCW DVDs.

Back with Titus still dominating, hitting an elbow. Scratch that dominating aspect as Bateman gets a guillotine drop using the top rope to take over. Off to something resembling the inbred cousin of the Tazmission. Regal calls Bateman sloppy and Titus breaks a hold to give himself a breather. Never mind though as Bateman keeps stomping away. Apparently Derrick hates the bark. Regal thinks he sounds like a seal that wants a fish.

Titus gets a hard elbow in the corner to take Derrick down. Bateman goes up and misses something off the ropes so here comes Titus. Bateman charges into another elbow but Young interferes, allowing that weird bulldog kind of move (I don’t know what else to call it) to end Titus at 8:30.

Rating: D. Just going through the motions here. Bateman is boring beyond belief in the ring and I have no idea why they thought he’d be better as a heel. None of these guys are interesting at all. Titus has a decent look and that’s about it. No real point to this other than having all the rookies out there for awhile. Match was just bad though.

We’re going to get Cena vs. Mysterio tonight. As in the whole match.

Horny is in the back with his doll from last week and finds candy on the floor. He follows the trail of it to a note which we can’t read. It’s AJ, looking great in some jean shorts. She kisses Horny on the lips but Maryse comes up to make fun of them. Maryse really does tower over her. AJ smacks her and smiles at Horny.

Kozlov is doing what is apparently called planking (he’s on a vending machine and taking a picture of himself so I guess it’s a fad) when JTG comes up. This was part of the gangster bet which will be paid off next week. My breath is held in anticipation.

Tyson Kidd vs. Yoshi Tatsu

It’s a necklace on a poll match. Tatsu’s song is catchy I must say. On the necklace is the leg of the action figure that Tyson broke. Kidd goes for it immediately but Yoshi makes the save. They go back and forth a bit but Yoshi hits a spinwheel kick so he can go for the pole. Tyson hammers him down and we hit the formula for this match: one person beats someone down then climbs, the other person hits them in the back and we switch.

They go to the floor as I’ve never seen a crowd sitting so still. Snap suplex on the floor puts Tatsu down but Tatsu strikes back and a double knee smash sends Kidd into the post. Not the pole, the post. Another attempt eats steps though and back inside we go. Tyson stomps a mudhole and shouts a lot. Double clothesline puts both people down and Kidd goes for the corner. Yoshi tries to catch him and they both fall off.

We take a break with both guys down. You know, the match itself isn’t all that bad, but they’re fighting over a piece of an action figure. You couldn’t make this a bit more personal? Like a piece of jewelery that Yoshi’s family gave him? Something that somebody might see as valuable perhaps? Back with Kidd working Yoshi over and they’re outside almost immediately.

Regal tries to tell us that this isn’t to be taken lightly. I get that they’re trying and at least it’s not a totally cliched storyline, but this feud (which hasn’t been bad) is on NXT. Neither of these guys are on the show anymore as far as rookies go, so why are they here? Kidd puts on a Boston Crab on Yoshi using the bottom rope. Think of a Tarantula kind of. Grisham screws up and says Daniel Bryan is Tyson Kidd’s pro until Regal asks what the heck he’s talking about. I needed a bad flub like that.

Kidd goes for the corner but Yoshi saves (of course) and kicks Kidd upside his head to put him down. Yoshi can’t follow up though so it’s time for the slow climb. Isn’t it always convenient that the people climbing things in wrestling are REALLY FREAKING SLOW? Yoshi almost gets it but gets crotched. Both guys are standing on the top and Yoshi grabs the necklace to win but the Canadian hits a German to the Japanese to put him down. Yoshi wins though at 10:15.

Rating: B-. Not a classic or anything but this was a pretty solid back and forth match. At the end of the day though, these young guys that are having solid matches are fighting over a piece of plastic from an action figure from a shrine which hasn’t been explained on an internet show about rookies that these two aren’t associated with anymore. It’s a bit hard to get into it you know?

Kidd massacres him post match and hooks the figure four around the post.

We get a clip with music of Vince being relieved of his duties. HHH will be on Smackdown this week. Dang I wish that was next week.

We get the main event and the finale from Raw last night. I wasn’t paying a ton of attention so I’m assuming it isn’t abridged or anything. This is from the review I did of Raw so if it sounds a bit different, it was written during my initial viewing of the match.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Rey Mysterio

There’s a bigger border on the belt now. Cena comes out post break. There’s a Divas Battle Royal next week on Raw. Rey gets a kick to the leg to start and there’s a second one. They’re kind of feeling each other out to start. There are three more of them but Cena runs Rey over with a shoulder block for two. Rey gets a sunset flip kind of move for two and grabs a headlock.

Cena gets a belly to back to escape and gets two at the same time. Rey goes for the knee again but Cena dodges. He misses a charge though and hits the buckle chest first, falling to the floor. The dueling chants begin and Rey hits a springboard flip dive to the floor. Rey speeds things up but gets his head taken off by a clothesline. Back in and Cena gets a waistlock but Rey gets up and hits a DDT for two.

STF doesn’t work as Rey gets to the ropes. 619 is caught and Cena tosses him onto his shoulder for that sitout powerslam for two. Here comes Cena’s ending sequence but Rey fires off a dropkick to block a shoulder. Nice counter and it’s remarkable how few people have blocked that before. Rey tries to speed it up but his spinning cross body is caught in an FU attempt which is also reversed.

Both guys are down and Rey drop toeholds him into the buckle. Seated Senton hits but Cena tries to roll through into the STF. Rey counters into an STF of his own. Cena gets up on one leg into an AA position but the leg gives out and Cena collapses, right into 619 position. It hits this time and Rey goes up top for the splash but it eats knees. Rey tries a rana out of the corner but Cena shoves him off in something resembling a powerbomb.

Cena loads up the top rope Fameasser but it turns into a leg drop on a standing Rey which only gets two. The fans are WAY into this too and I can’t blame them as it’s been a solid match. Cena sets the AA but Rey elbows out of it. Another 619 is set up but Cena catches him in the AA and is champion again at 12:47. I can live with this I think.

Rating: B+. Solid stuff here as Cena got to show off his power and how effective it could be. I’m not sure what more they could do given the amount of time they had. Rey’s STF was a cool addition which we haven’t seen before on Cena, or at least not that I can remember. Good stuff here as both guys usually bring it in big matches.

Cena helps Rey up and celebrates with the title but some music starts up.  It’s a song called Cult of Personality……..PUNK IS BACK!  Cena holds up his title.  Punk holds up his title.  They stare it down as the show ends with Cena leaving.

Since this was so short, it was definitely cut. I wasn’t watching tonight (Tuesday) because I really didn’t want to see it again.

Overall Rating: D. Yes, one match was good and the one from Raw last night was good, but I’m not going to count Rey vs. Cena in the rating. It wasn’t part of NXT. It’s a Raw match and yes it’s good, but this has nothing to do with NXT. It gets boring when we have to sit through 10 minutes of stuff we saw less than a day ago, even if it’s good. Do they really think people that don’t watch Raw watch NXT? Either way, this show is just like the others lately: totally pointless and they seem like they’re just killing time until….something that’ll be pointless I’m betting. Anyway, one decent match and that’s about it.

The review will be up late next week as I’ll be watching the show live and won’t be able to review it until Wednesday.

Results

Derrick Bateman b. Titus O’Neil – Falling bulldog

Yoshi Tatsu b. Tyson Kidd – Tatsu pulled down the necklace

NXT
Date: July 19, 2011
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: William Regal, Todd Grisham

We’re at episode 20 of this.  I said episode 20.  With no sign of this season ending, I really do wonder if they know where they’re going with this.  It’s not like we haven’t seen these people wrestle a dozen or so times already anyway.  The show is in desperate need of ending but since apparently FCW is so bad they can’t find five others to be in this, we’re stuck here some more.  Let’s get to it.

We’re going to get the ending to Raw from last night later on apparently.

Maryse and Striker are in the ring and there’s a punching bag with Cole’s face on it.  Here come the rookies.  We go over the Redemption points which are totally worthless because Bateman has zero and O’Neil is so far ahead of everyone it’s unreal.  This is the Dummy Demonstration which is why Cole’s face is on it.  This is worth five points and apparently it’s whoever can have the best mini-match with the dummy.  Are you serious?

Bateman makes fun of Titus and says he’s sorry to the dummy and loves it.  I’ve been watching wrestling my entire life which is over 20 years.  I have never, in my entire life, heard a crowd go as silent as they do when they get the idea of what this actually is.  Bateman does some basic stuff and does something resembling commentary as he does it.

Young refuses to do it (give this man the prize right now!) because he’s proven himself already.  Titus says Bateman should try those moves on him instead of the dummy.  Whoever Young has faced doesn’t matter and Titus throws the dummy at Young who is on the floor.  They actually ask the audience who won.  Gee, could it be the person that has dominated the whole thing and is clearly the most popular?  This very well may have been the biggest waste of time since the Gobbledygooker.

OH BOY!!!  Now I get to watch Vladimir Kozlov vs. JTG!  I’ve heard of Christmas in July but this is proof that the WWE is officially inside my head and knows everything I want to see!

JTG vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Before the match, JTG proves why he should never be handed a microphone and why I believe western civilization is in its decline, all in about 30 seconds.  That’s impressive.  We have to sit through an ad for WWE All-Stars first though.  I wait on the edge of my seat!  Remember that there’s some kind of a bet that Kozlov can’t be a gangster or something.  I heard CM Punk has some experience with that so maybe Koz should go find the champ.

JTG takes over to start as Regal bashes him to keep up the tradition.  Middle rope dropkick gets two.  He takes Koz down again and stares at Regal before covering.  Regal offers JTG lessons in how to finish opponents off.  As long as he doesn’t go to Terri Runnels for advice on finishing guys off he’ll be fine.  Chinlock goes on as this has been totally one sided.  Koz fires back with his strikes but a powerslam doesn’t work.  And never mind as that Iron Curtain or whatever it’s called ends this at 5:30.

Rating: D+. Fine from a wrestling perspective I guess but could they be padding these shows out any worse?  Terribly boring match though as they were out there for a short amount of time and yet still managed to not be able to interest anyone in the crowd.  At the end of the day they’re fighting over incredibly contrived angles and that’s not going to get them anywhere, especially with uninteresting matches.

Horny shows Maryse the candy he got last week and she says it’s not from her.  He kind of humps her leg and she pours the candy on his head.  Maryse leaves and he gets another package, this time an Ugly Doll.  And yet that’s what they’re really called.

Yoshi’s shrine has been destroyed.

You know that line in the secondary theme song of “If I can make it through this, I can make it through anything” is WAY too accurate for this show.

Darren Young vs. Titus O’Neil

This is the 7^th match that these two have had on this season alone, not counting triple threats or tags.  Darren grabs a headlock which gets him nowhere as Titus hits a powerslam and abdominal stretch.  He shouts out to the Minnesota crowd and no one cares.  Big clothesline gets something close to a reaction and let’s hit that stretch again.  Young tries to walk out and that doesn’t go well either.  Darren gets tossed into the corner and crashes to the floor in a decent bump.  They fight to the apron and Young manages a neckbreaker.  Bateman (called Young by Grisham) comes out with a picture of Cole as we take a break.

Back with Young holding a chinlock.  We talk about Daniel Bryan to fill some time as Titus fights back and hammers Young down in the corner resulting in a two count.  Young stops him and we talk about some MITB cash-ins.  Back to the chinlock as Horny plays cheerleader a bit.  We get a Gordon Solie reference which is just an insult to his memory.

O’Neil gets a powerslam for two.  Horny tries to come in for no apparent reason and Bateman trips O’Neil.  Great line from the commentators: Todd: “Did you see that???” Regal: “No.  I’m an old villain.  I did NOT see that.”  Doesn’t matter anyway because Titus hits the Clash of the Titus for the pin at 11:11.

Rating: D+. The match is boring because as I said earlier, this is the seventh time it’s happened.  It’s not like this is Booker vs. Benoit and they can have seven entertaining matches.  This pairing is played out, mainly because we’ve seen it so many times before and no one cares anymore.  Scratch that.  No one cares, period.  Not bad, but Bateman added nothing to it at all.

Time for the Vince/HHH segment from last night, in its entirety.  By that I mean including the Vince/Cena stuff.  Huge moment and I can totally understand it airing here.

Overall Rating: F. Let’s see.  In about 50 minutes we had a segment that involved performing moves on a dummy which was won by someone that didn’t actually do any moves on it, a match between two guys who don’t have Pros on the show anymore and literally the 7^th match between the same guys this season, followed by a segment long enough that I was able to take a shower during it.  What grade did you think I was going to give this?

Results

Titus O’Neil won the Dummy Demonstration Challenge

Vladimir Kozlov b. JTG – Iron Curtain

Titus O’Neil b. Darren Young – Clash of the Titus

NXT
Date: July 12, 2011
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

We’re somehow in week 19 of this show.  Think about that for a minute and try not to have your head explode.  This season started on March 8.  What I want to know is what they’re waiting on.  I mean do they really not have six guys they can throw on here?  Anyway we now have three finalists left again and there’s not much else to say here because the shows are the same all around again.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Bateman returning and he and Bryan winning last week.

Bateman opens the show and says this is his show, calling it the Super Terrific Derrick Bateman Happy Hour Extravaganza.  He talks about how awesome he is and how he’s here to save the show.  The fans really don’t seem all that into him here which is rather surprising.  After he runs his mouth for a bit, here’s Darren Young to read off his resume which is really all he’s capable of doing anymore.  Also O’Neil has nothing on him.  Bateman agrees that Young is good but not as good as Bateman.

Cue that leprechaun music to get on my nerves again.  Titus comes out and barks a lot but Bateman cuts him off.  When they’ve gotten to the point that they’re calling each other’s lines before they happen, you’ve been on this show too long.  Bateman says O’Neil will be going for cheap pops which Bateman is the master of.  “So you’re the Master Bateman?”  Someone pop in a DX reunion DVD.  The jokes have to be better than this.  Anyway Maryse comes out and makes a triple threat.

Darren Young vs. Titus O’Neil vs. Derrick Bateman

Bateman grabs a quick rollup for two to start.  That gets him nowhere though so Titus clears the ring because he can.  The two others decide to double team Titus to take him down as we enter into the standard operating procedures for bad triple threat matches.  Bateman gets a splash for two.  Bryan is the only pro out here.  Double suplex gets two on Titus.

This is elimination apparently.  The fans are a bit bored so they cheer for Bryan.  The boring double beatdown continues for awhile until Titus wakes up for a bit, only to get taken down again almost immediately.  Bateman is sent to the floor as Titus hits Clash of the Titus on Young but Bateman steals the pin.  Back from a break with Titus throwing Bateman around for fun.  Bateman goes for the knee and it’s off to a chinlock to make sure we don’t get excited about anything.

Nice loud chops by Bateman finally wake up the crowd for a few seconds.  Titus takes over and chops even harder.  And never mind as it’s back to Bateman’s control to waste even more time.  Titus starts his comeback and hits a backbreaker but barks instead of covering.  Fall away slam gets two.  Titus goes up and tries a middle rope clothesline but Bateman ducks and O’Neil kind of hits Bateman’s back.  Bateman hits the stupid headlock mat slam/weak bulldog for the pin at 13:53 shown.

Rating: D+. Just so boring here.  These guys can only have so many matches before you’ve seen it all.  They’re not even good matches in the first place so it’s not like we’re watching good matches when they’re at their best.  Bateman makes things a bit more interesting but it’s not like we’re watching Flair vs. Steamboat out there.

Video on Money in the Bank.

Yoshi is back at his shrine or whatever.  Striker asks why he’s keeping the broken action figure and apparently it’s something about honor.  Tyson vs. Tatsu III tonight.

Pretty long video on Punk vs. Cena.

Horny is drinking root beer because he’s sad about Maryse.  A guy comes up with a package for him and it’s from a secret admirer.  He thinks the candy in it is from Maryse.

JTG thinks he can make Kozlov gangster and they make a bet.  Gee do you think this is going to result in Kozlov wearing a funny costume?

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Tyson Kidd

Regal wants to know why it’s called a rubber match.  Kidd stalls a lot before we get going.  Yoshi grabs the arm to start which is rather quickly countered.  Dropkick by Kidd misses and Yoshi hammers away, sending Kidd to the floor.  Kidd takes over once they’re back inside and chokes him on the ropes.  Tatsu comes back but the Canadian hits a Russian legsweep to the Japanese off the middle rope.

Back from a break with Kidd holding a headscissors on the mat.  Yoshi gets up and gets a sloppy crucifix for two.  Kidd gets a floatover neckbreaker for two.  Isn’t it great to see two pros get the final ¼ of a show about rookies?  Off to a chinlock as the crowd is coming out of their seemingly eternal slumber a bit here.  Regal keeps me sane by talking about how when he had a heart attack his ex wife immediately wrote for an ambulance.

Yoshi gets a big kick to put both guys down for a count, reaching seven.  Here’s Yoshi’s comeback and he goes old school with a slingshot.  Here are some more kicks but Kidd kicks Yoshi’s knee out.  Dropkick to the side of the head gets two for Kidd.  Sharpshooter is blocked and Kidd is sent back to the floor.  A dive is blocked by a kick to the head of Tatsu though but Kidd’s springboard elbow is blocked.  Kidd gets crotched on the top but blocks a superplex.  Moonsault misses and Tatsu gets a rollup for the pin at 11:20.

Rating: C+. This again pales in comparison to their rather good first match in the set.  It’s like they’re trying to go out and have a great match which works about once a decade and it takes people a lot better than this.  It was pretty good, but at the end of the day they’re fighting over a piece of a leg of an action figure broken in a shrine.

Kidd jumps him post match and resteals the leg of the action figure.  It was stolen in the first place?

Overall Rating: D. The show overall is pretty pointless but the main event was ok enough.  Definitely not worth going out of your way to see or anything though.  There was also no word on anything else as far as ending the season.  That August 2 date gets scarier and scarier every time.  Anyway, another horrible show this week with very little redeeming value.

Results

Derrick Bateman b. Titus O’Neil and Darren Young – Headlock into a mat slam to O”Neil

Yoshi Tatsu b. Tyson Kidd – Rollup

NXT
Date: June 28, 2011
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: William Regal, Todd Grisham

It’s another elimination week to get us down to the final two which will hopefully end soon after that.  The final three are Darren Young, Conor O’Brian and Titus O’Neil.  It seems like the competition is Titus’ to lose here but you never know with this show.  That being said, I’d probably bet on O’Brian to win it because we all want to see him for another four months down the road right?  Let’s get to it.

Here’s Darren Young who now has no pro as Chavo has left.  Young says that Chavo quit because he couldn’t handle the fact that his rookie was better.  Young points out how he’s faced Cena and main evented Summerslam this year which is something Chavo has never done.  True actually.

O’Brian comes out to say that after tonight, Young is done.  He promises utter destruction.

Darren Young vs. Conor O’Brian

They fight over a tieup to start and head to the floor.  Hot crowd tonight too.  Back inside and Conor takes over with a clothesline.  A shoulder by O’Brian gets two.  Young hits a neckbreaker on the apron and both guys are down as we take a break.  Back with O’Brian escaping a cravate but getting thrown down for two.  Off to a neck crank by Young which doesn’t last long.

Kozlov isn’t here tonight either apparently as he’s in Australia with the Raw roster.  Chinlock doesn’t work long and O’Brian hits a slingshot to send Young into the corner.  Young hits the ropes and gets his head kicked off by a big boot.  That looked good.  Regal brings up the point that these guys know each other way too well.  Young hits Three Amigos to the biggest heat he’s gotten since he had a big yellow N on his chest.  A Frog Splash ends this a few seconds later at 8:45.

Rating: C+. Not bad here and that big kick was the biggest part of the whole thing.  The lack of pros actually helped a lot here as it was just a competition rather than about the pros, which is the point of the show.  O’Brian is still dull but if he can get even a single move going for him it’s an improvement.

Tatsu is at his shrine with his action figure again and Kidd comes up and breaks it.  They have a match later but Yoshi jumps him and attacks him until he’s pulled off.

Tyson Kidd vs. Yoshi Tatsu

TYSON’S HAIR IS GONE!  He cut that little thing off his head and it’s due to Bret pulling on it apparently.  Yoshi is all ticked off and hammers away to start, sending Kidd to the floor.  HARD chops in the corner and Kidd is in trouble.  Kidd comes back, hitting what looked like a forearm off the middle rope.  On the floor he hits a dropkick to send Yoshi into the steps as we take a break.

Back and we’re in a chinlock by Kidd.  He works the arm and gets two off a hammerlock suplex.  Big kick into the arm has Yoshi in agony.  Fujiwara Armbar goes on which is becoming a very popular move anymore.  Yoshi starts his comeback with his variety of kicks.  Big kick gets a close two as the fans are into this again.  They go up and Kidd is shoved off.  He manages a dropkick to crotch Yoshi though and a top rope rana gets two.  I would have bet on that being the ending.  Rollup gets two for Yoshi.  Another big kick finally ends Kidd at 9:20.  Abrupt ending but rather good.

Rating: B. For NXT, this was AWESOME.  They were allowed to go out there and beat the heck out of each other.  Those kicks and 2 counts were great and I really didn’t know who was going to win there at the end.  Sick high kick to put Kidd down at the end also made this a very good match and one of the best NXT matches I’ve seen in a long time.

JTG is getting ready and here’s Horny in a trashcan which he’s able to walk in somehow.  O’Neil comes up to stop an attack because he’s only trying to steal the gold jewelry because he’s a leprechaun.  They get in an argument over what it’s made of.  I give up.

Titus O’Neil vs. JTG

Maryse is on commentary here for no reason other than “she feels like it”.  O’Neil throws him around as Regal and Maryse argue a bit.  Horny has a note for Maryse and it’s in English apparently.  It’s an old school style of do you love me?  Circle one.  We hear about the required height to date Maryse as JTG takes over a bit.  Maryse is taking pictures as O’Neil fights back.  JTG is sent to the floor and almost runs into Horny.  He gets on the apron and poses at JTG.  Back in the ring the Clash of the Titus ends this at 3:20.

Rating: C. Just a quick match here as Titus continues to be so far and away better than everyone else in this season it’s unreal.  Nothing of note here as JTG is still a jobber, no matter which way he’s leaning on the face/heel spectrum.  Maryse was far more of the focus here than the match and I can’t say I blame them here.

Maryse rips up the letter post match.

Raw Rebound eats up some time.  They only talk about the main event and the Punk promo though.  That’s still awesome stuff, but it makes me think Cena wins clean at the PPV.  Just parts of it here though instead of whole thing due to time.  Most of the controversial stuff here is gone.

Grisham says that Punk has been suspended indefinitely and Vince might be on Raw.

Time for the elimination and thankfully O’Brian is gone.  He asks Hunter (HHH I presume) for a chance to play the game.

But wait we’re not done yet because someone else is going to the finals.  Derrick Bateman is back and Bryan is his pro again.  What in the world?  Why are they adding someone else NOW?  Do they really want to extend this even further?  I’m going to be at the show on August 2.  There better be a new season by then.

Overall Rating: B. All things considered, this was the best episode of NXT in months.  There were good matches and the crowd was red hot all night.  O’Brian finally being gone is the right choice because you could make a case for Young or O’Neil winning the whole thing.  Bateman being added is uh….puzzling.  At least he was funny during his time here so it’s not too bad.  Good show this week that flew by in a good way.

Results

Darren Young b. Conor O’Brian – Frog Splash

Yoshi Tatsu b. Tyson Kidd – High Kick

Titus O’Neil b. JTG – Clash of the Titus

Conor O’Brian was eliminated in 3^rd place.

NXT
Date: June 14, 2011
Location: Dunkin Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

Tonight is week fifteen, matching the longest season (season 1) of this show so far.  With the recent arrest of Lucky Cannon, there’s a chance he’s gone tonight.  That was definitely shocking news.  Not that he got arrested.  It was shocking that someone actually knew who he was.  My money is on someone not named O’Brian going home tonight because someone hates me.  Anyway let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Lucky Cannon and his interaction with Maryse over the course of the season.  Also last week the $3,500 purse Cannon got her was destroyed thanks to that pesky leprechaun.  If that was read out of context, it might make you think wrestling fans are really stupid for watching this product.  By reading it in context, we know for fact that they’re stupid for watching this.

Maryse brings out the rookies.  Oh and Striker is there with her.  Cannon is here with a different coat.  O’Brian is here with no apparent reason.  Young is here with the hair that will not die.  O’Neil is here with no Pro due to the attack by Truth last night.  Wait Striker just said eliminations, as in PLURAL!!!  Oh I’m all aflutter now.  The Redemption standings are as follows: O’Neil has nearly double what the other three combined have.  Maryse dashes my hopes by saying it’s just one elimination tonight.

The challenge is Talk the Talk and you get thirty seconds to say who should be eliminated.  Cannon says O’Neil for riding the coattails of his pro.  He has no charisma and won’t draw money.  The show is all about him apparently.  O’Neil makes fun of Cannon’s robe and says he’s smart.  Cannon has won nothing apparently and is just running behind Maryse.  Can you blame him though?  Still a bad promo, but far better than anything O’Neil has ever said.

O’Brian says Young should be gone because he’s had his opportunity already.  Young blew his chance and has already main evented Summerslam.  That’s a very good point and proof why Young either should be on the main roster or should be fired, depending on where you stand.  Young says he’s the best and that they should just give him the crowd now.  YES!  LISTEN TO THIS MAN!  Young jumps O’Brian and leaves.  Think that’s our main event?  We do the judging and Young gets the loudest pop actually but they call it a tie with O’Neil.  O’Neil does clearly get the biggest pop on the second try so I can live with that.

Darren Young vs. Yoshi Tatsu

This has the potential to not suck.  Tatsu works on the arm a lot and that’s about it for the start of this.  Remember when Tatsu was this hot thing on ECW?  How in the world has he fallen that far that fast?  We’re three and a half minutes into this now and there’s been nothing but the arm work so far.  Tatsu fires off some chops in the corner so Young punches him in the face.

Dropkick sends Young to the floor but he catches a DDT on the apron to Tatsu to take over.  Here comes JTG as we take a break.  Back with Young holding a front facelock and JTG is on commentary now.  Regal gets on JTG about various things and it stuns me that people actually liked JTG at some point.  Chinlock goes on by Young as this isn’t incredibly interesting.

Regal and JTG do their usual schtick and it’s kind of funny as always.  Young hits the chinlock some more to waste even more time.  How is it possible that this show is already halfway over?  Tatsu breaks the hold and takes Young down to start his comeback.  Some kicks abound and up he goes.  And speaking of go, there goes my feed.  By the time it’s back Yoshi is hammering away with nothing but strikes.  What a shock.  Double knees in the corner and a spinwheel kick get two.  Shining Wizard gets two.  Yoshi goes up but Chavo distracts him, allowing Young to pull him off the top for the pin at approximately 13:50.

Rating: D+. Based on just what I saw, this was pretty weak.  There’s no real point to having these guys fight and that’s what makes this show not work.  They can have these pointless matches all they want but the matches get really dull after awhile.  Tatsu and Young have no reason to fight and that becomes apparent after 12 minutes of them fighting.  Weak match and boring to boot.

Maryse tells Lucky that her purse can be repaired.  Lucky says he’ll take care of it and she says she gave the purse fixers Lucky’s credit card.  Ok then.

Titus O’Neil vs. Lucky Cannon

Pre-match, Cannon promises to beat up Horny when he gets back.  Power vs. speed for lack of a better term here.  Titus throws him around so Cannon runs.  In old school heel fashion, Cannon gets a shot in to Titus as he comes back in and takes over.  Apparently O’Neil is distracted due to the lack of small green clothed men.  I give up.  Legdrop gets two for Cannon.  Chinlock goes on and the fans aren’t all that thrilled.  Lucky does the dog bark as this needs to end.  Titus starts his comeback and hits a clothesline and there’s the dog bark.  Clash of the Titus ends this at 6:46.

Rating: D+. Well this match happened.  That’s about all there is to say here.  O’Neil is a good power guy and probably has done the best this season, which means he probably won’t win.  Weak match here which has been a theme tonight so far.  I’m not thrilled with this show at all as you can probably tell.  The problem is the same as earlier: how many times can we see these people have matches?  It gets really annoying really fast and it did about three months ago.

In one of the only funny lines of the night, Todd says elimination is next.  “One of these four superstars’ dreams are crushed tonight and it’s all your fault WWE Universe!”

Elimination time and Lucky is gone in 4^th place.  The reactions are great here, with Striker looking STUNNED.  No real shock due to what happened this weekend (he was arrested for impersonating a police office of all things) but rather annoying because O’Brian is STILL around.  Hopefully this ends soon though.  Lucky says he should be on Smackdown instead of on here and Titus leads us in the goodbye song.  Maryse says she appreciates the stuff but the purse was a fake and slaps Lucky to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I really didn’t like this week as the in ring stuff is right back to where it was a few weeks ago.  Somehow they fit about twenty minutes into this show which is rather impressive for a 50 minute show, and will likely approach Impact in terms of overall ring time.  Not much here at all this week and another boring show.

Results

Titus O’Neil won the Talk the Talk Challenge

Darren Young b. Yoshi Tatsu – Slam off the top rope

Titus O’Neil b. Lucky Cannon – Clash of the Titus

Lucky Cannon was eliminated in 4^th place