Rampage
Date: February 4, 2022
Location: Wintrust Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Excalibur, Taz, Chris Jericho

We’re still in Chicago and it’s a stacked card as Jay Lethal challenges Ricky Starks for the FTW Title. On top of that, Sammy Guevara defends the TNT Title against Isiah Kassidy and Adam Cole faces Evil Uno. Ok so maybe they’re not all huge matches this time around. Let’s get to it.

Here is Dynamite if you need a recap.

Adam Cole vs. Evil Uno

Cole jumps him to start and the choking begins on the ropes. That lets Cole get a bit more cocky but Uno fights up and runs him over. The Swanton hits knees though and some kicks rock Uno. The Boom finishes for Cole at 2:25. That’s what this should have been.

Post match Cole lists off a bunch of names that he has beaten while he is still undefeated. He doesn’t care about last week because it doesn’t exist. What does exist is a new Adam Cole and now he is ruthless. He has won World Titles and always winds up dominating anywhere he goes. There is one thing that is certain: he will become the World Champion.

Jade Cargill is ready to become 27-0 and laughs at the idea that she is green. She’s green like money.

TNT Title: Sammy Guevara vs. Isiah Kassidy

Sammy, with taped ribs, is defending and Matt Hardy/Marq Quen are here with Kassidy. Feeling out process to start until Kassidy goes after the bad ribs. That doesn’t bother Sammy, who sends him outside for the big flip dive. There’s the nip up as well, just to show off a bit. Sammy goes after Quen though, allowing Hardy to hit a Side Effect onto the apron.

We take a break and come back with Kassidy staying on the ribs. Sammy fights up and tries the GTH but the ribs give out. Instead it’s Kassidy charging into a superkick. Sammy goes up but here is Andrade for a distraction. A Backstabber gives Kassidy two and he sends Sammy outside for a dive. Back in and a Swanton to the back gets two but Sammy fights up and springboard dives onto Quen. A springboard cutter gives Sammy two and the GTH retains the title at 9:12.

Rating: C+. This was exactly as the match should have gone. There was no reason to believe that Guevara was in trouble in a straight match against Kassidy so stacking the odds is the way to go. It made for a nice challenge to Guevara before he can move on to something else. Doing things like this is going to make Guevara seem like a bigger deal and that’s what they made work here.

Post match Andrade gets in the ring behind Sammy but Darby Allin runs in. Allin isn’t interested in the money offered to him so it’s a big staredown instead. With Andrade and company gone, Allin slaps Guevara’s TNT Titles (because Sammy is carrying both of them), which might be a warning.

QT Marshall is sending someone after Hook.

Kris Statlander doesn’t think Layla Hirsch has been acting like an amateur wrestler…and then Hirsch blasts her in the back with a chair.

Mercedes Martinez vs. Thunder Rosa

Rosa hammers away to start and takes Martinez down for some elbows to the back. They head outside with Rosa snapping off a suplex before heading back inside. Martinez runs her over this time and we take a break. Back with Martinez hitting a super Death Valley Driver for two but Rosa plants her right back down. They head outside where Martinez whips out a pipe and hits Rosa in the face for the DQ at 7:41.

Rating: C. This was intense while it lasted, but the ending has me wondering just how hard Rosa is going to smash Martinez in their violent rematch. That’s where Rosa shines and hopefully it finally moves towards the big Rosa vs. Baker showdown. You have to do something like this to get there though and that’s a fine way to go, even if a DQ still feels weird around here.

Video on Serena Deeb.

Mercedes Martinez is happy with what she did but here is Britt Baker to say a DQ isn’t what they agreed on. If that’s what she wanted, she would have had Jamie Hayter do it for her. Baker paid Martinez to take out Rosa and now she better not lose again, or Baker will have her out of here faster than Martinez left her last job. Violence is teased but Hayter gets in between them.

Jay Lethal is ready to take the FTW Title. Ricky Starks doesn’t think so.

FTW Title: Jay Lethal vs. Ricky Starks

Starks is defending and has Powerhouse Hobbs with him. Lethal elbows him down to start and chops away as you might have expected. Starks gets sent outside for the suicide dives but a Hobbs distraction lets him run Lethal over. We take a break and come back with Lethal getting two off a backslide and la majistral is good for the same.

There’s the Lethal Combination for two more but a hurricanrana is countered into a heck of a sitout powerbomb for another near fall. Lethal fights back again so Hobbs gets up for a distraction. Lethal’s dive is countered so here’s Dante Martin to take out Hobbs. Back in and Lethal hits a cutter for no cover (Jericho: “JAY YOU MISSED YOUR SPOT!”). The Lethal Injection is loaded up but Starks counters into the Roshambo (that was SWEET) for the pin to retain at 12:42.

Rating: B-. The ending was excellent as Starks couldn’t have timed that better. Lethal is someone who serves as a perfect challenger in a spot like this as he could win the title but also gives Starks a good run for his money. At the same time, I’m not entirely sure the FTW Title needs to exist around here, as it often comes off as “oh yeah that’s still a thing” more than a valuable prize.

Overall Rating: C+. Another rather good show, though it still feels like they pack in a lot. In this case, that wasn’t the best feeling as it came off as rushed. I could go for them slowing down a bit, as this feels like it would be better as a forty five minute show (which obviously can’t be done on TV). That being said, it’s still FAR from a bad show and I don’t remember the last time they had a bad one, with this being the latest solid effort.

Results
Adam Cole b. Evil Uno – The Boom
Sammy Guevara b. Isiah Kassidy – GTH
Thunder Rosa b. Mercedes Martinez via DQ when Martinez hit her with a pipe
Ricky Starks b. Jay Lethal – Roshambo

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: August 24, 2007
Location: Colonial Center, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and the question remains who can stop Great Khali. Batista gets his chance in two days but things are not exactly looking great for him. Other than that, Vince McMahon and Jonathan Coachman continue their search for Vince’s son, meaning hijinks are likely to continue. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show, with Great Khali Clawing/head vicing Batista down again.

Opening sequence.

Here are Vince McMahon and Coach for a chat. They are continuing their investigation into Vince’s illegitimate son and the search is continuing tonight. Coach wants to look at things scientifically and asks what we know about Vince. We know that he is tall, he is powerful and he likes to make people’s lives h***. No one is like that around here…and here is Kane to interrupt. Kane smiles at Vince, who says there is no way this monster is his son. Coach: “He does appear to have your eye.”

Kane talks about how Vince was not there for him as a kid when Kane started his first fire or killed his first squirrel. That being said, all Kane wants is Finlay, which seems to please Vince. After making sure Kane doesn’t want his money, Vince makes Kane vs. Finlay for Summerslam, which works just fine.

Cue Chris Masters to say he has proof that he is Vince’s son. First of all, Kane is too ugly to be Vince’s son (that’s good for a glare from Kane), plus a photo of Masters meeting Vince when he was fifteen (Vince: “You look ten.). Masters is willing to prove himself with the Masterlock Challenge right now, with Kane agreeing. Kane is a bit too big though and Masters can’t get the hold, so he offers to put Masters in the hold himself. That just earns Masters a chokeslam and Kane leaves. Cue Chuck Palumbo, and since we have a referee and two wrestlers, Vince says ring the bell.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Chris Masters

Palumbo punches away to start and hits a clothesline to drop Masters again. Masters get sin a cheap shot and a slam, only to walk into an overhead belly to belly. Full Throttle finishes for Palumbo.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Funaki

Chavo still has Rey Mysterio’s mask, which is on a mannequin head this week. A slam and an uppercut have Funaki in early trouble but he manages a quick shot of his own. Chavo crotches him on top though and we’re back to the stomping. Funaki’s knee is wrapped around the post and Chavo cranks on it so much that the referee calls for the DQ.

Post match Chavo keeps beating Funaki down as WWE desperately tries to get us to believe that Chavo Guerrero is a threat to a returning Rey Mysterio. They’re doing everything right with the actions and violence, but it’s still Chavo Guerrero. Chavo puts the Rey mask on Funaki and crushes his leg with a chair. Fans: “CHAVO SUCKS!’’ Chavo: “REY MYSTERIO SUCKS!!!”

Rey Mysterio video.

Jamie Noble vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

For the #1 contendership to the Cruiserweight Title as we continue to protect most of the wrestlers on Summerslam. Yang kicks him down without much trouble and hits an early standing moonsault. Back up and Noble hits him in the face, setting up a waistlock to work on the ribs. That’s countered with a catapult to send Noble into the corner and a top rope hurricanrana gives Yang two. The top rope moonsault press misses though and Noble’s fireman’s carry gutbuster ends the battle of the Jung Dragons.

Post match Noble dives under the ring to find Hornswoggle but finds…no one. As Noble leaves, Hornswoggle pops out from underneath the ring.

We look at Evander Holyfield vs. Matt Hardy in a boxing match at Saturday Night’s Main Event until Holyfield got sick of MVP telling him to hurt Hardy even more.

Teddy Long doesn’t get to see Kristal in her swimsuit before tonight’s contest but here is MVP to interrupt. MVP talks about how great he is and how he could win any title. He could even win the Tag Team Titles with Teddy’s grandmother, or whoever else walks into this office. Cue Matt Hardy and arguing ensues after the announcement of the Tag Team Title match next week.

Vince McMahon and Coach come up to Chuck Palumbo, next to his motorcycle. After explaining that it’s Mr. McMahon, they talk about their love of bikes, but don’t worry because Palumbo knows who his dad is. One day his dad had a bit too much to drink and drove his bike into an 18 wheeler. Coach says they’re so sorry. Palumbo: “Not as sorry as my mom. She was driving the 18 wheeler.” Coach and Vince awkwardly leave.

Deuce N Domino vs. Eugene/Shannon Moore

Non-title and Deuce N Domino have Cherry with them. Eugene works on Deuce’s arm to start and hands it off to Shannon for the same. A Whisper in the Wind is pulled off the top though and it’s Domino getting to stomp away. That doesn’t last long as it’s back to Eugene to clean at least a few rooms. Eugene backdrops Moore onto Domino but Deuce kicks him in the face for the fast pin.

HHH is back at Summerslam.

And now, Matt Hardy and MVP play basketball. It’s first to eleven wins and yes this is non-title. Before the game, MVP brags about how good he is, misses a shot, and then dunks to make it better. MVP: “This is one I picked up when I was hanging out in the ski lodge with Kobe.” Matt finally comes out to interrupt, hits him in the head with the ball and scores, only to have Deuce N Domino come in to beat them both down.

Mark Henry vs. Brad Allen

Allen is sent into the post, powerslammed and bearhugged for the easy win.

Post match, Henry wants to know what is up with the Undertaker symbolism, like THE SAND! Undertaker’s video appears again and this time someone finds a box buried in the sand. There are a bunch of snakes inside, plus the Undertaker’s symbol. Henry is panicked.

Raw Rebound.

Michael Cole is in the ring to introduce a Summerslam bikini contest between Kristal, Torrie Wilson, Michelle McCool and Victoria. They all disrobe, Victoria dances badly and…we have a surprise entrant: South Carolina’s own Mae Young! Mae disrobes, has to be held back from disrobing further, and wins.

Jesse and Festus love barbecue, with Festus being great at grilling steak tartar. Cole calls them the Daltons, which I don’t believe has been used since they started these vignettes.

Summerslam rundown.

We see the opening vignette again, as Great Khali is still the big monster.

Batista vs. Finlay

Batista shoves him around to start, which might be due to Finlay not being able to see through the smoke from Batista’s pyro. Finlay gets in a few shots of his own to knock him outside. That means a quick posting and here is Great Khali to watch as we take a break. Back with Finlay holding him in something like a Crossface until Batista Stuns his way to freedom.

Finlay actually hits a dropkick to cut him off again but Batista fights up even faster this time. They head outside with Batista loading up the announcers’ table, only to get caught with a hanging neckbreaker on the way back in. The swinging Boss Man Slam plants Finlay again but Khali comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was the usual power match with Finlay being a good villain to go after Batista. The ending was not that much of a surprise and that’s ok in this case, though having Khali come out made the ending a bit more obvious. I can get why you don’t have Batista or Finlay lose so close to Summerslam, but it wasn’t the most thrilling way to go.

Post match Khali chops Batista down but can’t get the vice grip. Instead, Batista spears him down and hammers away until Finlay makes the save. Batista fights back again and pounds on Khali again until referees break it up. Well try to at least as Batista gets away to slug Khali down again. Khali staggers away to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I know what they were going for with this show but it was one of the weakest shows they have done in a long time. This was a bunch of low level stars having matches that didn’t have many interesting stories. There were a few minor things going on, but this was a totally skippable show, which isn’t a good way to get me to care about what is coming this weekend.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Saturday Night’s Main Event #35
Date: August 18, 2007
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 16,827
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross

It’s time for the annual hour and a half long commercial for Summerslam which makes you want to watch the original run of this series again. This show has nothing advertised outside of an update on who Vince McMahon’s illegitimate child might be. The show doesn’t make a difference anyway but I’m almost worried about what is going to be on here. Let’s get to it.

Vince McMahon and Coach are in the back to recap the illegitimate child deal. Coach has been looking through the roster and thinks he has an idea of who Vince’s child is. Vince has told him about all of his dalliances (which he just has records of I guess), except for this one in Kansas City (where Coach is from), back in the 70s….when Coach was born…..and then put up for adoption. Vince thinks this is going to be a long night.

Opening sequence.

Batista/Kane vs. Great Khali/Finlay

Take two Summerslam matches, put them in a tag match. Finlay and Kane, with his taped up ribs, start things off, with Kane knocking him into the corner. It’s quickly off to Batista, who takes Finlay down by the arm. A MuscleBuster drops Finlay again and we take a break. Back with Khali working on the ribs and putting on the stomach Claw.

Kane fights up but gets kicked in the face to put him right back down. That doesn’t last long though as Finlay gets over for the tag off to Batista as everything breaks down. Khali gets tied in the ropes so here is Hornswoggle…who is launched into Khali’s chest. A double chokeslam puts Khali down and the Batista Bomb finishes Finlay.

Rating: C. Total house show style main event and that’s about as good as you’re going to get. Ultimately, the wrestling isn’t so much the point of this show as much as just seeing these wrestlers doing something to get you ready for Summerslam. They didn’t have another option for the ending either so this was about as good as it could have been done.

Vince McMahon has to know who his kid is….and then he looks in a mirror to turn him into his 80s version. Coach gets Vince out of there so Ron Simmons comes up and catchphrases at his own reflection.

MVP is very happy to see Evander Holyfield here to beat Matt Hardy in a boxing match. Holyfield does seem to know him.

Here are Coach and Vince McMahon for Illegitimate Child Corner. Since DNA tests have taken so long, it is time to find out who the child is. Coach talks about how Vince is man with urges but Vince tells him to GET ON WITH THIS. First up, Vince had a tryst in Kentucky, which brings out Eugene. Vince says that’s not possible, because he slept with a woman, not his cousin. Eugene says his Uncle Eric wanted to get into wrestling because Vince nailed his sister….and that’s enough for Vince to cut him off. Eugene: “I LOVE YOU DAD!”

Vince throws him out so Coach brings in Melina, who might have been conceived when Vince was at a Wrestlemania II after party in Los Angeles. Cue Melina, who looks rather upset. They both insist that it isn’t her, as….apparently they had, ahem, a “meeting” on the Fourth of July. Melina better hope that their meeting was, ahem, harmless, or she’s suing him for everything he has. I think he’ll be fine as Vince was in New York for Wrestlemania II, not Los Angeles.

Anyway, there’s one more person but Coach doesn’t want to bring them out. Vince insists though and the glass shatters, meaning we get that classic Vince panic. Austin thinks Vince could be his pops and he could be the fruit of his loins. The result of what came from Vince’s grapefruits if you will. Vince says there’s no chance of that, which Austin says is too bad.

They never had the chance to play catch, go to a football game, build a go kart or teach him how to water ski. Vince never even got to have that talk about the birds and the bees with him. They didn’t get to have a beer together but Vince has had enough of this. Austin thinks the easy thing would be Stunning Vince, but he would rather help him out with the grapefruits instead, meaning a bunch of low blows. Coach gets the Stunner instead and beer is consumed. Vince pulls himself up and gets a Stunner of his own. This was a few jokes until we got to the Austin/Vince moment and that’s always going to work. The search continues.

John Cena vs. Carlito

Non-title and this is the Big Apple Showdown. Cena tackles him down to start and pounds away with right hands. Carlito is sent outside but manages to pull Cena to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cena hitting the top rope Fameasser for two and the STFU makes Carlito tap in a hurry. Not enough shown to rate but this was almost a Cena squash.

Post match Randy Orton comes in and gives Cena an RKO through an open chair. Cena is out cold and Orton yells at him a lot before staring, evily.

Post break, Randy Orton says that’s just the beginning and he’ll take the WWE Title at Summerslam.

There are a bunch of women at ringside for the boxing match.

Matt Hardy vs. Evander Holyfield

Michael Buffer is here to handle the introductions, including one for MVP, in Holyfield’s corner. Matt is at least wearing headgear to prevent a bad case of destruction. We have two minute rounds and Holyfield knocks him down in about a minute. Hardy gets back up and is down again in about twenty seconds. Somehow he survives again to end the round, with MVP being very pleased. The bell rings for the second round and Holyfield doesn’t want to beat him up anymore. MVP comes in and tells Holyfield to do it, earning himself a knockout. This is about all they could have done and at least they made it fast.

CM Punk/Boogeyman vs. John Morrison/Big Daddy V

ECW actually gets the closing spot. Matt Striker is here with V and they’re moving through the entrances pretty fast. Punk and Morrison start things off with Punk rolling him up for tow. Morrison sends him throat first into the middle rope so Punk clotheslines him over the top to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Boogeyman backdropping Morrison a bit harder than he needed to but Striker’s distraction lets V come in. That means Boogeyman is thrown around this time but he does avoid a charge in the corner. It’s back to Punk with the springboard clothesline to Morrison but he’s back up with a knee to the head. Not that it matters though as Punk grabs a small package for the pin.

Rating: C-. This felt like they were running out of time and had to squeeze everyone in there while they could. I’ll take that over not having the match, though V didn’t do much here, which might be a good thing. Punk gets another boost for his title match and that was the point here.

Commentary sends us to a fast highlight video to wrap up the show.

Overall Rating: C. Keeping in mind that this was just a way to build to a pay per view, it was completely watchable. They probably could have cut this down to an hour instead of an hour and a half, but at least they covered a lot of stuff and had the Vince/Austin deal in the middle. Absolutely not a show you need to see, but it would have been completely acceptable background noise while you fold your neighbor’s towels.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Dynamite
Date: January 19, 2022
Location: Entertainment & Sports Arena, Washington DC
Commentators: Jim Ross, Excalibur, Tony Schiavone

It’s a big night around here as we have the return of Jon Moxley after a nearly three month absence. Moxley has been out of action due to undergoing alcohol rehabilitation treatment and it is great to have him back. What matters most is that he is healthy and if that is the case, I’m glad he can be around here again. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Jon Moxley to a hero’s welcome to get things going. Moxley gets in the ring and, after telling a fan “Go f*** yourself, get that piece of s*** out of here” (completely uncensored on the broadcast), Moxley talks about having a dream where a demon told him he would never make it. He has more scars on his body than most people and those are the things that tell our story. Those scars are the ones that tell us the story of who we are. Nobody is perfect and no one should be afraid to stand up and bare it all.

Everything that makes you the person you are, scars and all, should make you say THIS IS ME. If you want to write him off, he’ll tell you where to shove all that s***, just like he told that demon. For everyone who has supported him, thank you. He is going on a pilgrimage and do whatever he wants to the world of professional wrestling because he is truly free. No one here can put him through worse than he has been through and these days, all he drinks is blood. Well that was amazing, and one of the most emotional speeches you’ll see in a LONG time.

MJF talks about CM Punk needing to steal a win by using the hair and trunks last week to beat Wardlow (who could have escaped with a bit more experience). As for this week, it is Wardlow’s birthday and MJF offers him a sincere apology for losing it last week. Wardlow seems to appreciate that….but MJF is docking Wardlow’s pay for putting his hands on him. MJF moves on to Shawn Spears, who is going to hand PG Punk his first loss, while teaching Wardlow a lesson. The turn is going to be incredible when we finally get there.

Adam Cole/Britt Baker vs. Kris Statlander/Orange Cassidy

The women start but Baker tags out almost immediately. Then Cole tags out, meaning Statlander has to come back in. Hold on though as Cassidy does the lazy kicks, earning himself a stomp to the food. Statlander comes in to slam the posing Baker but it’s too early for the Big Bang Theory. It’s back to the men, meaning Cassidy can hit a tornado DDT to send Cole outside.

Back in and Statlander grabs a delayed vertical suplex on Baker, with Cassidy shoving it over. Cassidy hits a rather low dive on Cole before stopping for a pose, allowing Baker and Cole to superkick them down. A nice kiss sends us to a break and we come back with Cassidy taking Cole down.

The women come back in with Statlander hitting a Blue Thunder Bomb for her own two. A neckbreaker takes Statlander down though and it’s back to Cole for the superkick to Cassidy’s knee. Cole hits an enziguri but Stundog Millionaire gets Cassidy out of trouble. Baker comes in off the blind tag to break up Beach Break and Stomp Cassidy down. Statlander kicks her in the face and hits something like a Falcon Arrow for two.

Area 451 is loaded up but Cole covers Baker….which is fine with Statlander, who splashes both of them. The Beach Break hits Cole for two but he superkicks a dive out of the air. Baker takes Statlander to the ramp for a Canadian Destroyer, leaving Cole to Panama Sunrise Cassidy for two. With nothing else working, Cole loads up a table at ringside (because we need tables), only to have Cassidy accidentally knock Baker through it. Cole is livid and it’s a low blow into the Boom for the pin at 14:22.

Rating: C+. That’s it for the feud right? There is no reason for Cole and Cassidy to feud any longer and hopefully we can move on and let Cole do something more important. The match was your usual AEW match with big kickouts and went on a bit longer than necessary, but it did have the entertaining bits that you would expect.

Chris Jericho tells Eddie Kingston to GFY but Santana and Ortiz don’t like him talking about Kingston that way. Actually, when has Jericho even had their back? Maybe next week, they can prove that they don’t need Jericho. That seems to shake Jericho a bit.

Adam Cole is sick of Orange Cassidy. He has beaten Cassidy every way he can, but now Cassidy is attacking Baker? Next week, it can be No DQ, anything goes, lights out. It might not be a good idea to point out that you have beaten the guy over and over before challenging him to another match. And great, ANOTHER hardcore match.

CM Punk vs. Shawn Spears

MJF is on commentary as the GTS finishes Spears at 12 seconds. Much like last week: that’s how I like my Spears matches.

Post match Punk poses so MJF tries to sneak in, only to have Punk jump in his face. Punk grabs the scarf but MJF bails from the threat of a right hand.

Billy Gunn stops Christian Cage in the back and says his sons have earned a Tag Team Title shot against Cage’s friends, the Jurassic Express. Cage says make a statement and they’ll talk. Cue the Gunn Club to jump Christian and send him head first into the steel door. Billy as a mouthpiece for his kids is a completely acceptable idea and an upgrade over what he has been doing.

Here is Cody Rhodes, with a huge ladder in the ring. Rhodes talks about CM Punk’s pipe bomb, which was the beginning of a revolution. Some of the things Punk were saying were the blueprint for what AEW would do. After pausing for some negative chants, Cody talks about how Punk made the comeback of the decade and we are all living it. Cody starts yelling about how he carried the revolution and since “you ask me why I won’t turn heel”, it’s because they cheered him when he needed it the most.

There are industry journalists who talk about opening the forbidden door…and now let’s talk about how ReDRagon passed hiptoss class. There are wrestlers elsewhere named Gunner McGillcutty or whatever it is but then he was gone for two weeks and there is an Interim TNT Title. Fans have been taught to believe that any title without the word World in it doesn’t matter.

That’s why he wants to face Sammy Guevara in a ladder match at Beach Break for the undisputed title. I got the gist of what Cody was saying here, but this was all over the place with one idea after another thrown out there but he kept moving on before getting to the point. The ladder match (because this company loves ladder matches) is a fine way to unify the titles, but this was a rambling mess of an insider/shoot promo and it was all about Cody, again, without making much sense until the end.

Jade Cargill has issued an open challenge for the TBS Title and Anna Jay is ready to accept it. Jay talks about the hardcore match from a few weeks ago to show she’s ready.

Kings of the Black Throne vs. Varsity Blonds

Brody shoves Garrison around to start and sends him outside, meaning it’s off to Pillman. That doesn’t work though as Pillman won’t try Air Pillman. Instead he drops outside to talk to Garrison, who is driven into the steps. Back in and Black sweeps Pillman’s leg so Garrison can hit a backsplash. Garrison is taken out again and Dante’s Inferno finishes Pillman at 1:48.

Post match Black tells the House of Black to rise but Pac, still blind, pops up on screen to say he is beyond Black’s reach.

Video on Lance Archer vs. Hangman Page, with Jake Roberts returning to say Archer is ready for Page.

Roppongi Vice steals Brandon Cutler to challenge the Young Bucks to a match on Rampage. They beat the Bucks in Japan once so they can do it again. Cutler thinks the Bucks are going to kill him. Romero: “Then turn the camera off bro.”

Lance Archer vs. Frankie Kazarian

Jake Roberts and Dan Lambert are in Archer’s corner. Archer hammers him down before the bell and then stands on Kazarian’s neck. The beating continues with Archer slowly pounding away as Kazarian can’t get anything going. Kazarian gets dropped again and again and we take a break.

We come back with Archer loudly saying “F*** YOU” (seemingly to a fan) and sending Kazarian chest first into the buckle. The Blackout is broken up with Kazarian finally getting in a little something. That doesn’t work for Archer though and he chokeslams Kazarian down as this is going WAY too long. Archer finally finishes with the Blackout at 10:01.

Rating: D. This was a bad miss, as Archer didn’t look like a monster but rather a guy lumbering around and (very) slowly beating Kazarian down. I don’t know if they were told to fill in time or what, but they took what should have been a three minute match and stretched it way further than it needed to be. This doesn’t make me want to see Archer vs. Page, but rather seeing a big audible call.

Post match, Dan Lambert goes on another cowboy rant against Hangman Page, but Archer cuts him off because he’s sick of this s*** (as we have even more swearing, which isn’t as edgy as AEW seems to think it is). Archer loads up a chokeslam off the ramp but here is Hangman Page for the save. Page gets kneed down so he pulls off his cowboy boot to blast Archer in the head. The Buckshot Lariat is blocked so Page forearms him out to the floor. Page stands tall.

Dante Martin is ready for Team Taz, with Lee Moriarty and Matt Sydal having his back until his brother gets back.

Ricky Starks and Powerhouse Hobbs are going to prove Martin is all alone because he’ll need someone to watch every side.

Leyla Hirsch breaks up a Red Velvet/Kris Statlander interview to complain about their loss on Friday. Velvet says it was miscommunication and gets her arm barred as a result.

Serena Deeb vs. Skye Blue

Deeb takes her down to start and sends Blue to the apron to keep up the beating. Back in and some uppercuts to the back of the heck set up a fisherman’s neckbreaker. The Serenity Lock finishes Blue at 2:50. I can absolutely go for more of this Deeb.

Ethan Page wants a big match on Rampage and tells Tony Khan to put the franchise player in.

On Rampage: Ethan Page vs. Jon Moxley, plus Roppongi Vice vs. the Young Bucks. We get some New Japan footage of their previous matches.

Video on Hook.

Matt Hardy has signed Andrade El Idolo 51% of the Hardy Family Office but he is still in charge of the board of directors. Andrade will be the president though, and they are now the AHFO. Now, they want Darby Allin. I’ll take them combining some of their more boring acts into one.

Acclaimed vs. Darby Allin/Sting

Caster’s rap promises to make this worse than Starrcade 97 so you know it’s serious. The Acclaimed jump them before the bell as Tony says he still can’t explain Starrcade 1997. A chair is wrapped around Allin’s neck and Caster whips it into the post. Sting is back up as medics check on Allin but he’s willing to fight on his own. Sting takes the Acclaimed down to start but the Stinger Splash hits an exposed buckle, giving Bowens two.

We take a break and come back with Sting putting Caster in the Deathlock. Bowens hits a discus forearm but Sting yells and doesn’t let go. A superkick breaks it up but Allin comes back in to make the save. Allin gets taken down again so the Mic Drop can give Caster two. Sting backdrops Bowens over the top and splashes Caster through a table at ringside. Fans: “YOU STILL GOT IT!” I don’t think YOU STILL GOT IT is a term that applies to something that Sting rarely did, but fair enough. The Coffin Drop finishes Bowens at 9:20.

Rating: C+. Sting matches are all smoke and mirrors, but dang they’re fun smoke and mirrors. They aren’t doing anything too bad and the fans’ reactions alone carry the matches to another level. That being said, Sting and Allin have to be close to being #1 contenders right? They’re undefeated and just beat the #1 contenders, so shouldn’t their title shot be coming soon? That’s not a bad thing, but it should be addressed.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m not sure what happened tonight but this might have been the biggest miss Dynamite has had to date. There were good parts to it (Gunn being moved into a manager role (at least for now), Deeb’s squash, the main event, Spears going short again and King/Black’s debut) but the rest was a bit of a mess. It felt like they didn’t have a plan tonight and it was kind of all over the place.

The biggest standout part was the Cody promo, which started and ended well but took a right turn into lala land in the middle. I still don’t know what he was trying to say with a lot of that and it was one of the bigger head scratchers in recent memory. In addition, you have Cole saying that he has done everything he can to Cassidy, including pinning him tonight, but now we’re going to do it AGAIN, and this time in a hardcore match.

That is where AEW is starting to slip a bit for me, as it feels like they are trying to be a modern day ECW. Between the constant hardcore based matches (I believe Cole vs. Cassidy makes three since December 31), the table spots (two tonight) and ALL THE SWEARING, it feels like they are trying to push the envelope for the sake of pushing the envelope. When you do that kind of thing all the time, the impact goes away very fast and that is what they are doing now. Just pull it back a bit and save that stuff for when it matters, not whenever you can throw it out.

Overall, this show just did not feel like AEW quality. Dynamite has been good to excellent most of the time but they have been missing a bit in recent weeks. I don’t know if that is due to some kind of Covid deal shaking things up backstage or something else, but the shows have not been the best as of late. Maybe they need to change something backstage, because this is starting to trend in a bad direction.

Results
Adam Cole/Britt Baker b. Orange Cassidy/Kris Statlander – Boom to Cassidy
CM Punk b. Shawn Spears – GTS
Kings of the Black Throne b. Varsity Blonds – Dante’s Inferno to Pillman
Lance Archer b. Frankie Kazarian – Blackout
Serena Deeb b. Skye Blue – Serenity Lock
Sting/Darby Allin b. Acclaimed – Coffin Drop to Bowens

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Royal Rumble 2009
Date: January 25, 2009
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 16,685
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Tazz

This isn’t so much the Royal Rumble as much as it is HHH and Randy Orton are in a match and 28 other guys happen to be in the ring too. Other than that we have Edge challenging the NEW WWE Champion Jeff Hardy and Cena defending against JBL, who has Shawn Michaels and his crisis of conscience working for him at the moment. This wasn’t the best year for WWE so let’s get to it.

No intro video this year. That’s interesting.

ECW Title: Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Swagger won the title about two weeks ago and this is Hardy’s rematch. We actually get big match intros for this, which is a rare sight for an ECW Title match. Matt takes him into the corner to start before punching Jack in the face. Striker calls that a pugilistic endeavor to sound smart. Another punch sends Swagger to the floor and we head back inside for a clothesline from Matt.

Jack heads to the floor to hide after Matt swings again. Back in and Swagger takes Hardy to the mat and cranks on the arm a bit. Hardy comes back with a dropkick in the corner and a bulldog for two, only to go up and get shoved down to the floor. Back in and Swagger starts in on the arm but Hardy quickly escapes a key lock. A punch to Hardy’s arm blocks a clothesline and a big boot gets two for the champion.

Back to the key lock as Jack stays on the arm. He lifts Hardy off the mat by the arm a few times as the fans cheer for the challenger. Matt fights back but he’s basically fighting with one arm here. A bulldog puts Jack down for two and a middle rope elbow to Swagger’s back gets the same.

Hardy walks into a belly to belly suplex from Jack for two though and both guys are down. A DDT on the arm gets two for the champion but Matt blocks a belly to back superplex. Matt hits a decent looking moonsault for two and the fans are getting into these kickouts. The Twist is countered and Jack sends Matt shoulder and possibly head first into the post. The Swagger Bomb retains the title.

Rating: B-. Better match than I was expecting here with both guys looking good out there. Matt was getting close to being something decent as a singles guy and this was his way off ECW and onto Smackdown. Swagger would go on to win a world title and shock the world in the process before falling through the floor soon after. Solid opener here.

Orton arrives and gets glared at.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Melina

Melina is challenging and Beth has Santino with her here. Beth shoves her around to start before easily breaking out of a headlock. A LOUD Santino chant starts up as Beth throws Melina around. Melina comes back with a shot to the head but gets shoved down immediately again. The challenger hooks an armbar of all things but Beth easily stands up while Melina stands on her shoulder.

Melina gets on Beth’s shoulders again but Beth shoves her down in a crash. A running Umaga attack in the corner puts Melina down again and Beth is in full control. In a freaky looking move, Beth grabs Melina’s leg in a kind of ankle lock position and bends the leg forward to make Melina kick herself in the back of the head. FREAKING OW MAN! Melina escapes a gorilla press and fires off some forearms before getting two off a sunset flip. Two knees into Beth’s back have her staggered and a hair drag gets two. Out of nowhere, Melina grabs a spinning rollup for the pin and the title. As sudden as it sounds.

Rating: D+. Not terrible here and the girls looked good so I can’t complain much. That leg lock thing of Beth’s was SICK and it’s one of those moves that just looks painful all around. At the end of the day though, does it matter who has either of the female belts? They’re completely interchangeable and this one was retired the next year.

We recap JBL vs. Cena, which is basically the Shawn Michaels Story. Basically the story went that Shawn was crushed by the financial crash and JBL offered to hire him to help win the title. Shawn helped JBL win a #1 contenders match and the question is will he screw over Cena tonight and compromise his morals? There was a VERY real argument to be made for Shawn vs. JBL at Mania for the title, so this wasn’t a layup. The problem with this story is still there though: Shawn is a world class wrestler with the top company in the world….and he’s broke? He may have lost his savings but he’s not unemployed.

JBL tells Shawn is he wins the title tonight, Shawn is free with a huge payday and he can be in the Rumble tonight, which at the moment he isn’t. Bradshaw leaves and Taker shows up, saying that sometimes it’s a nightmare getting to Heaven.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Cena is defending in case you skipped the previous parts. We get the big match intros here and even a weapons check for old times’ sake. Cena takes him to the mat with a headlock to start but JBL counters into one of his own. A shoulder block puts JBL down and out to the floor as we take a breather. JBL whispers something to Shawn before heading back inside for some clubbing forearms to the back.

Cena slams him down for two though and we’re still in the early stages. JBL heads to the floor again but this time Cena goes after him. He runs into Shawn though and stops cold, allowing JBL to get in a shot to take over. Shawn didn’t move at all. Back in with JBL in control and a standing clothesline gets two. Presumably that one was only from Hoboken.

Off to a chinlock from the challenger as we keep things at JBL’s slow pace. A side slam gets two on Cena and he rolls out to the apron. Layfield knocks him to the floor and then sends him into the stairs for two back inside. Cena fights out of a superplex attempt and hits the top rope Fameasser for two of his own. The champ initiates his finishing sequence with all of his usual stuff including the Shuffle. Shawn hasn’t been a factor in the first nine minutes or so of the match.

JBL escapes the AA but gets caught in the STF instead. Shawn starts grabbing the ropes but doesn’t do anything. Cena lets go of the hold anyway, allowing JBL to kick Cena to the floor. JBL’s Clothesline gets two so he glares at Shawn for some reason. A quick AA attempt misses and JBL kicks the referee down by mistake. The Johns double clothesline each other and it’s time for the big moment.

Shawn gets in the ring and is staring at both guys. Both guys get up and Shawn superkicks John. As in the challenger/him employer. He also kicks the champion/the guy he was hired to take out before leaving. Shawn puts JBL’s arm across Cena, causing the fans to chant for the champ. Another referee comes out and gets a two count for Layfield and both guys get up. Cena hits a quick AA on JBL to retain.

Rating: C-. The match itself was pretty dull but the drama worked well enough to make up for it. At the end of the day, JBL simply wasn’t good enough at this point to hang in a world title match. Cena had to tone it WAY down to let JBL keep up with him and it showed badly. Still though, Shawn more than makes up for it and would go on to have a masterpiece with Taker at Mania so all is well and good.

We recap Edge vs. Hardy. Hardy shocked the world (including me) at Armageddon by winning the title, but a few weeks later he started having a string of “accidents” including having pyro go off in his face and nearly getting killed by a crazy driver. Everyone blamed Edge but he denied responsibility. The question is who is behind all this stuff. Hardy hasn’t had a match that I know of in the meantime. I went to a house show during this period and Hardy didn’t wrestle.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Vickie makes it No DQ for no apparent reason and Chavo is in Edge’s corner because he’s familia. Jeff spears Edge into the corner to start and pounds away as fast as he can. The fans almost immediately start chanting WE WANT CHRISTIAN. Now remember that line as I’ll get back to it later on. Christian had left TNA and word hadn’t broken yet on if he had signed with WWE yet (I don’t think). Anyway, Jeff tries to bring in a chair but Edge kicks it out of his hands before it gets inside.

Hardy pounds away but Edge gets in a shot to take over for the first time. Edge sends him to the floor but can’t hit a baseball slide, allowing Hardy to hit a clothesline off the apron. Back in and Jeff tries a springboard but gets kicked down to the floor for the third time. Edge rams him into various hard objects including tables and the barricade and then another table.

We head back inside again with Edge in full control including a spear in the corner. Jeff grabs a quick two off a sunset flip but gets clotheslined right back down. Off to a body vice by Edge to slow things down a bit. Jeff fights up and hits a mule kick before going up top, only to jump into a dropkick from Edge for two. Now Edge goes to get two chairs but Jeff spears him down off the apron before it can be brought in.

Edge gets back to the apron but gets pulled down into a Twist of Fate onto said apron, sending both guys down onto the floor. Since it’s Jeff vs. Edge, here’s a ladder. Jeff spreads Edge out on the table but Chavo climbs up to slow Jeff down. Edge moves, so Jeff hits a HUGE splash to put Chavo through the table instead. Back in and Jeff gets two off a high cross body. Edge gets up first and pulls a buckle off, only to get caught in the Whisper in the Wind for two.

Out of nowhere Edge counters the Twist into a DDT for a very close two. We’re pretty clearly in the final stages of this match which means it’s getting awesome. Edge counters the slingshot dropkick into a kind of hot shot into the exposed buckle for ANOTHER two. The spear is countered into a Twist of Fate so Jeff goes up. After kicking Vickie away, the Swanton hits but Vickie pulls the referee out. Cue Matt to send Vickie into the ring and pick up a chair. To the shock of a lot of people, Matt cracks Jeff with the chair to give Edge of all people the world title.

Rating: B. This too awhile to get going but once they hit their stride they started acting like Edge and Jeff Hardy in a big match. The No DQ stuff wasn’t needed here but it made things work a bit better. At the end of the day, these two work best when they can turn off the rules and go nuts, which is what they did here.

Now remember earlier that I mentioned Christian. He was originally supposed to be in Matt’s spot, setting up a reunion with Edge. However, WWE felt the fans figured this out so we got Matt in his place. This also happened in 2012 with Sheamus winning the Rumble instead of Jericho. Based on this theory, Shawn should have kept the title at Wrestlemania 14 because almost everyone knew that Austin was winning.

That makes no sense and I don’t get what they think this is accomplishing. It didn’t work out well for Russo and it won’t work out for the WWE. Matt vs. Jeff didn’t work at the end of the day, mainly because I don’t think people wanted to see them fight. I’ll give them this: they did come up with a logical reason for Matt to turn so it’s not a terrible idea. It just wasn’t the best option they had.

Orton says he’ll win. Jericho pops in to thank Orton for punting Vince on Monday but Randy will probably get fired for it.

Rumble by the numbers which is roughly the same as the previous year.

Royal Rumble

Mysterio is #1 and Morrison is #2. Rey kicks him in the face a few times to start but gets put on the apron for trying his sitout bulldog. A springboard cross body puts Morrison down and there’s a big headscissors to take Morrison down. John gets sent to the apron but hangs on by the top rope, even when Mysterio dropkicks him in the ribs. Carlito is #3 and is the second tag champion in here along with Morrison. Those titles would be unified at Mania.

Rey tries a standing moonsault but gets caught in a modified swinging neckbreaker instead. Carlito hits a gorgeous double jump moonsault to take Morrison down and stomping ensues. MVP, currently on a winning streak after losing forever, is #4. There’s Ballin on Morrison and a facebuster to Carlito. Rey get sent to the apron but he saves himself almost immediately.

Great Khali with the awesome dance music is #5. Everybody gets a chop and Khali poses a bit. Mysterio tries to springboard onto him and Carlito tries a Backstabber, both to no avail. Kozlov is #6 and immediately headbutts Khali out by himself. MVP misses a running kick in the corner and he’s gone too (BIG heat on Vlad for that). Carlito is gone after jumping into a spinebuster and Mysterio looks to be up next, but heeeeeeeeeere’s HHH at #7.

Since no one else can get a good match out of Kozlov, you know HHH is going to try his hand at him. They stare each other down and Kozlov hits the headbutt to take him down. The facebuster stuns Kozlov and HHH throws him out wise ease. It’s HHH, Morrison and Mysterio in there at the moment with Rey chilling in the corner. The knee to the face puts Morrison down and Orton is #8.

The battle of Evolution continues and the backbreaker puts HHH down. Both finishers are countered with Morrison breaking up the Pedigree. Rey hits a seated senton on Orton and the 619 on Morrison before JTG is in at #9. Orton tries to put Mysterio out as people start pairing off. Ted DiBiase, as in one of Orton’s lackeys, is #10. Mysterio and DiBiase immediately fight to the apron with Rey doing some gymnastics to stay alive.

Jericho is #11 and goes right for Orton. He can’t get him out so there’s a Lionsault to HHH instead. Jericho is knocked to the apron and Mike Knox is #12. Orton and DiBiase focus on JTG as Knox beats on Rey. HHH saves the masked dude for no apparent reason and Miz is #13. He goes right after JTG and hits something like the Skull Crushing Finale before going after the Game.

Morrison and Mysterio team up on Orton but John and Miz both take RKOs. There’s one for JTG but HHH hits a Pedigree to stop Randy dead. HHH dumps Miz and Morrison to prove how awesome he is and Finlay is #14. Jericho backdrops Mysterio to the floor but he lands on Morrison and hops onto Miz to get back to the ring. Finlay beats on everyone in the ring until Cody Rhodes, the other of Orton’s goons, is #15.

We currently have Mysterio, HHH, Orton, JTG, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay and Rhodes. Legacy (the collective name of the trio) starts picking off people one at a time, starting with Finlay. They don’t actually put anyone out but they get to beat on everyone at least. Rey dives at Orton but gets caught in an RKO in a nice counter. The Undertaker is #16 and here come the punches. His only victim at this point is JTG to clear the ring out a bit.

Goldust of all people is in at #17 and immediately goes for DiBiase. Rhodes pulls his real life brother (Goldust) off so Goldie sends him to the apron a few times. That’s as far as he can get though as an RKO puts Goldust down and Rhodes gets to dump him out. Punk is #18 and happens to be the IC Champion at this point. There’s a GTS for HHH as RKO works on Y2J. Mysterio gets sent to the apron by Knox and Finlay works on Taker.

Mark Henry is #19 and throws a lot of people around but can’t get anybody out. Shelton Benjamin is #20 to fill the ring up even more. Jericho and Punk go up top for no apparent reason other than for Shelton to charge the corner and hit a kind of double DDT to bring them both back down. Billy Regal is #21 and goes right for Punk, who beat him for the IC Title a week or so again.

Mysterio dumps Henry off camera to thankfully get someone out of the ring. HHH is upside down in the corner but he winds up sitting on the apron. Here’s Kofi at #22 to speed things up as well as he can with so many people around him. Taker dumps Benjamin and Kane is #23. After beating up a few people he stares his brother down before they start working together to chokeslam some people.

Punk pulls Regal out and brags about it without getting thrown out. R-Truth is #24 and nothing happens. Rob Van Dam makes a one night only return at #25 after not having been seen in the WWE in about a year and a half. That at least wakes the crowd up but there are too many people in there for his style of stuff to work. He loads up the Five Star but Truth is too close so he has to bail out in mid air.

The Brian Kendrick is #26 back when he was actually a big deal. To show how big he is, he manages to dump Kofi and get thrown out by HHH in about fifteen seconds. Dolph Ziggler gets lucky #27 but only lasts about six seconds longer than Kendrick with Kane getting the point. Your future World Heavyweight Champion ladies and gentlemen. Santino is #28 and breaks Warlord’s record of two seconds in the Rumble by being clotheslined out by Kane before he can even stand up straight.

Jim Duggan makes his token Rumble appearance at #29 and he punches everything in sight, including knocking the Dead Man down. Big Show is #30, giving us a final group of Mysterio, HHH, Orton, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay, Rhodes, Undertaker, Punk, Kane, R-Truth, RVD, Duggan and Big Show, or half the field in the entire match. Nearly everyone goes after him at once but it’s Duggan that gets tossed instead.

Jericho tries to put a sleeper on Show but it gets about as far as you would expect. Taker throws Punk to the apron as Show dumps Truth. Punk fires off some kicks and hangs on three times so Show finally knocks him out cold and out to the floor. Show knocks out Knox and Mysterio as Horny gets in for no apparent reason. Finlay tries to save him and gets dumped for his efforts at good parenting.

Jericho hits a Codebreaker on Kane and Orton hits the Elevated DDT on HHH. Taker and Show have their required staredown and RVD hits the Five Star on Orton. Jericho comes up behind Van Dam to dump him while Rob holds his ribs. That’s his last WWE appearance to date. Chris turns around and sees Taker who tosses him with glee. Legacy teams up to put Kane out and we’re down to Taker, Big Show, HHH and Legacy.

The trio surrounds Undertaker as HHH gets chokeslammed. Taker does the same to most of Legacy so the giants punch each other a lot until Show gets knocked to the apron and hangs on with his feet flying off the apron. THAT was cool. Not that it matters anyway as he gets RKO’ed out a few moments later but it still looked good. Show pulls Taker to the floor a minute later because that’s how he rolls.

So as people expected at the time, it’s HHH vs. Legacy for the Rumble. Taker and Show fight into the crowd for no apparent reason. HHH goes after Rhodes first but the numbers catch up with him. He gets beaten down and Orton says pick him up. The RKO is countered though and HHH sends Orton to the apron. There goes DiBiase and Rhodes follows, but Orton sneaks up on HHH and throws him out to win the Rumble.

Rating: D. This was one of the weaker Rumbles there’s ever been. For one thing, it was clear that Orton was going to win no matter what happened. Second and probably more important, they got caught in the classic Rumble trap of having WAY too many people in there at once. They didn’t even try the three act structure here and it showed badly. That’s something Pat Patterson was absolutely amazing at and he was gone by this point.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s clear that the company was in a transitional period here and that makes this a hard one to get through. There’s enough good stuff here to check it out, but it’s nothing worth going out of your way to see. The only really solid match is Edge vs. Hardy and even that is nothing really worth seeing. This is a rare instance where the Rumble didn’t dictate how the show went as the rest of it is a far easier sit than the Rumble itself.

Ratings Comparison

Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Original: B

Redo: B-

Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Original: C-

Redo: D+

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: C

Redo: C-

Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: C-

So let me get this straight: every match is literally within a single grade of the original but the original is nearly two grades higher? Dang I was REALLY feeling generous that day. A show with an hour long match that gets a D doesn’t sound like a B+ overall to me.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/28/royal-rumble-count-up-2009-the-voices-tell-me-no-one-but-orton-has-a-chance/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Smackdown
Date: August 17, 2007
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

The reign of the Great Khali continues as we are nine days away from Summerslam. I’m curious to see where they are going with the rest of the card, but Khali has already massacred Batista with the Claw. With the main event set, we could use some build for a few more of the matches. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is MVP for the first episode of his VIP Lounge talk show. MVP talks about being better than you and challenging Matt Hardy to face him in a boxing match at Madison Square Garden on Saturday Night’s Main Event. However, MVP has to back out due to his heart condition, but he has a replacement: the only four time World Heavyweight Champion, Evander Holyfield.

This brings out Matt Hardy as the show’s first guest, with Matt talking about how he has beaten MVP in arm wrestling and a wrestling match, but now MVP is running again. MVP again brings up his heart condition but Matt says it’s the lack of a heart. Matt is fine with fighting Holyfield, but MVP has a challenge for him tonight.

That would be the Masterlock Challenge, with Chris Masters and a referee coming out. Before we get started, Matt punches Masters in the face but the hold is finally put on. MVP does commentary as Matt starts blacking out and then gets in the ring to kick Matt down to cut off the comeback. The villains go to leave but come back in for the Playmaker and trash talk to Matt.

We recap Vince McMahon finding out that he has an illegitimate child on the roster.

Vince is here, in a peach colored jacket, with Coach, who has been put in charge of checking the roster to find out who Vince’s child might be. The ECW roster has been checked off the list, save for Big Daddy V. Vince thinks it’s a possibility, but wants everyone here tonight checked too.

Jesse and Festus with they could be Vince’s son. Well Jesse does, while Festus (who Jesse thinks looks like Vince) stares a lot.

Deuce N Domino vs. Major Brothers

Non-title. Domino shrugs off a wristlock to start so it’s off to Brian for some more success on the arm. There’s a double flapjack to Domino but it’s quickly off to Deuce to take over on Brett. The chinlock with a knee in the back makes it worse, setting up Domino’s neckbreaker for two. A suplex finally gets Brett out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Brian to clean house. Brian hits a spinebuster for two but misses a high crossbody. Deuce cracks him in the mouth for the pin.

Rating: C. I’m not sure if there is a tag team division at the moment but it’s nice to see another team getting the chance to crack into the title picture. Deuce N Domino have no one to fight for the belts at the moment so why not see what the Majors can do in the spot? It’s not like there is anyone else at the moment so work with what you have.

Vince McMahon and Coach are in Teddy Long’s office to offer best wishes on Teddy and Kristal’s wedding. Great Khali and Runjin Singh come in to yell about having to face Kane tonight. Teddy says get over it but Vince isn’t sure about Khali’s parentage. He seems to like the idea though and did have that one time in India.

Chuck Palumbo still likes motorcycles.

We recap Kane and Finlay attacking each other last week.

Finlay vs. Jamie Noble

Finlay powers him into the corner to start and then does it again, only to have Noble slug away. Noble manages to knock him outside but Finlay is right back in to work on the leg. A slam sends Noble’s leg into the ropes and the half crab goes on. An Indian Deathlock makes it worse….and here is Kane to go after Finlay for the DQ.

Rating: C. They didn’t have time to do much here but it was good while it lasted. Noble was little more than a comedy guy at the moment but he was able to have a good match with just about anyone. That being said, this was all about setting up Finlay vs. Kane, likely for Summerslam, and that should be a good fight.

Post match the brawl is on but here is Hornswoggle to shove Noble into Kane’s bad ribs. Kane chokeslams Noble and Finlay escapes.

Rey Mysterio is coming back at Summerslam.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Shannon Moore

Chavo still has the Rey Mysterio mask from last week. Moore gets taken down to start and charges into an elbow in the corner. A running headscissors sends Chavo outside but he is ready for the dive, instead suplexing Moore into the post. Back in and a stretch muffler keeps Moore in trouble but he pops out and is fine enough to hit a Whisper in the Wind. The Gory Bomb is countered into a sunset flip for two, only to have Chavo come back with a brainbuster for the pin.

Rating: D+. What the heck was that? I don’t know what Shannon was going for here but Chavo worked on the knee for a bit and Moore hopped up to hit a big flip off the top. I can forgive a bit of no selling but what’s the point of Chavo posting the leg and then working on it if that’s the reaction he is going to get? Not a good match, and that’s because of Moore in this case.

Post match Chavo puts the mask on Moore and gives him a frog splash to the knee.

Here is Batista for a chat. He admits that he is a little grouchy but he has had all week to stew about what happened. Last week, Great Khali crushed Ric Flair’s skull and treated him like a piece of dirt. That freak wrapped those hands around his head like a vice grip and that has never happened to Batista before. Right here and right now, he is promising himself and Flair that….and never mind as here is Khali on screen to interrupt.

Khali demonstrates what is coming for Batista at Summerslam by popping a basketball. Batista goes on a rant about how basketballs don’t hold grudges, which makes it sound like he is feuding with the ball. A ticked off Batista is a good thing but I’m not sure how well the title match is going to go.

Vince McMahon and Coach keep going over the idea of Vince being Khali’s dad, but Coach thinks Batista might have gotten his great physique from McMahon too. Vince seems to improve….and here is Big Dick Johnson dressed as a baby for some dancing. With Vince turning his back, Coach starts dancing too because he’s a goof at heart.

Mark Henry vs. Greg Cardona

Cardona goes for a waistlock to start and gets tossed down in a hurry. Henry throws him to the floor with no trouble and then stands on his head back inside. A backbreaker sets up a World’s Strongest Slam and a bearhug to give Henry the squash win. Cardona is better known as Trent Beretta, but I wonder if he was borrowing the future Zack Ryder’s real last name.

Post match Henry goes on a rant about Undertaker’s druid coming out last week and suggesting that Undertaker was coming back. We see another clip of Henry wrecking Undertaker and, just like last week, the feed is hacked to hint that Undertaker is coming back at Unforgiven. Then the gong goes off and there is a small pile of sand in the aisle. Henry picks it up, lets it fall through his fingers, and that’s it.

Torrie Wilson and Michelle McCool are going to be the bridesmaids in the wedding. Victoria comes in and is really glad that she’ll be one too, but that isn’t happening. Victoria slaps Michelle, who slaps Kenny Dykstra instead. Teddy Long makes the match for tonight.

Jimmy Wang Yang and Funaki come up to Vince McMahon to suggest they are his son. Vince says he wasn’t in Japan long, but here is Kane to laugh and call Vince dad.

Michelle McCool vs. Victoria

Kenny Dykstra is here too. Victoria yells at her to start and gets thrown to the floor for her efforts. Back in and Victoria takes her down without much trouble and rips at Michelle’s face. The top wristlock keeps Michelle in trouble as commentary talks about a bunch of celebrities weddings. Michelle comes back with some armdrags and kicks Victoria down, setting up a middle rope clothesline for the pin.

Rating: D+. The division continues to be in a weird place as they have these random setups for a match every week and then get about five minutes at most. You can only get so far on something like that and I think we’re at that point now. I’m not sure what they can do without more wrestlers or something to fight over, but that needs to be figured out.

HHH is coming back at Summerslam.

Summerslam rundown.

Vince McMahon and Coach are about to leave but here is Howard Finkel of all people to suggest he might be the son. Vince shoves him away.

Great Khali vs. Kane

Non-title, Runjin Singh is here with Khali and Kane has bad ribs. Khali goes after the ribs to start but gets knocked outside where Kane can hit an uppercut. Back in and Khali knocks him out of the air, allowing him to hammer on the ribs again. We hit a rib claw, but since that’s just putting a hand on his ribs, Kane is able to fight up and pound away in the corner. The chokeslam is countered with the Claw though and Kane finally goes down for the pin.

Rating: D. I know he can only do so much, but Khali rubbing the side of Kane’s stomach for a good chunk of the match is not exactly thrilling television. The Claw vs. choke deal at the end was just about the only thing they needed to do here but it was a rough way to get there. Khali is showing how limited he is here and that is making it hard to watch.

Post match here is Finlay to go after Kane again but Batista runs in to go after Khali. Finlay gets speared down again but Khali head vices Batista out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. There were good and bad parts here, with Vince getting to interact with a bunch of people and that is always going to work. The rest of the show was up and down at best, with some of the matches being little better than dreadful. The good thing is that Summerslam is mostly set, but the idea of Batista vs. Khali in a big match has the potential to be a train wreck. Smackdown has been trending down since Khali won the title and that is making this show rougher every week.

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Smackdown
Date: August 10, 2007
Location: Chevrolet Center, Youngstown, Ohio
Attendance: 3,700
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re closing in on Summerslam and the main event is set, with Batista challenging Great Khali for the World Title. That may be a problem for Batista, as Khali debuted a Claw hold, which could cause quite the damage. The rest of the card could use some attention though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Batista vs. Domino

They’re starting fast this week and Deuce and Cherry are here with Domino. Batista knees him in the ribs as the smoke from Batista’s pyro is still filling the arena. A suplex gives Batista two but it’s too early for the Batista Bomb. Back up Cherry’s distraction does absolutely nothing as Batista takes Deuce N Domino out with ease. The spear into the Batista Bomb is good for the easy pin. On Domino.

Rating: C-. Total squash and that’s what it should have been. It would have been nice to not see a champion lose this way, but it isn’t like there are any other tag teams worth beating up around here. Batista didn’t break a sweat here and that made for an entertaining enough destruction.

Post match Deuce tries to jump Batista and gets wrecked as well. Great Khali pops up on screen to yell at Batista, who won’t be celebrating at Summerslam. We see a clip of Khali Clawing Ric Flair last week to knock him out.

Here is the returning Rey Mysterio, whose knee surgery must have been a success as he is about four inches taller now. Whoever it is seems to be a big Chavo Guerrero fan because he doesn’t know if Rey can beat Chavo at Summerslam. Or if he can even face Chavo, because Chavo is that amazing. He gets on his knees to beg Chavo to avoid that kind of a beating again but here is Eugene to interrupt.

Eugene vs. “Rey Mysterio”

The fans think Chavo sucks and it’s a headscissors to take Eugene down to start. The 619 misses and believe it or not, it’s Chavo under the mask. Eugene is so offended by the deception that he starts hammering away and hits a Gory Bomb, followed by Three Amigos. The frog splash takes too long though and Chavo moves, allowing him to hit his own for the pin.

Rating: D+. They didn’t bother trying to take this one too far as there is only so much you can get out of this kind of a match. It was also a match where the copying moves made sense, but Eugene is so far beyond meaning anything that it is hard to believe that he was kind of a big thing at one point. Chavo is on his way to the big showdown with Rey and that should work out well for both of them.

Kenny Dykstra kisses Victoria as she is getting her makeup done when Michelle McCool comes in to tell them to get a room. Violence is teased.

Raw Rebound.

Mark Henry vs. Sterling Keenan

Keenan is better known as Corey Graves. Bearhug finishes for Henry in about a minute.

Post match Henry says no one will mess with him because of this, sending us to a video of him attacking Undertaker. As the beating is on, we cut to an Undertaker vignette, with the word “Unforgiven” being heard. Back in the arena, a man in black walks away from the ring and his footprints are rather prominent.

Torrie Wilson vs. Victoria

Jimmy Wang Yang and Kenny Dykstra are here. Victoria jumps her to start and takes it to the floor. That means Yang has to dropkick Dykstra down as Torrie is scared. Back in and the Widow’s Peak finishes Torrie in a hurry.

Post match the beating stays on but Michelle McCool runs in for the save.

We recap Matt Hardy beating MVP in arm wrestling and regular wrestling last week.

Commentary tells us that thanks to the Wellness Policy, MVP found out that he had a heart condition and has had surgery, but will be back in a week.

MVP complains about how his heart was messed up last week but Matt Hardy cheated to beat him anyway. It would usually take someone a year to return but he’ll do it in a week because he is half man and half amazing.

Matt Hardy vs. Finlay

Finlay points a finger in his face to start and they take their time to start. A headlock and shoulder have Matt in early trouble so he grabs a headlock of his own. Commentary talks about Mr. McMahon’s illegitimate child (ok fair enough) as Matt hits Finlay in the face for two. Hold on though as Finlay complains of an eye poke, which naturally is a way to sucker Matt in for some uppercuts.

Back up and Finlay charges into a boot in the corner but manages to send Matt hard to the floor. They fight over a ram into the apron so Matt gets posted as we take a break. We come back with Finlay staying on the arm that went into the post, including kicking away at the shoulder. The cranking begins on the arm but the referee is smart enough to see the feet in the ropes. Good of him for doing his job for once.

Back up and Matt hits an elbow to the face, only to get taken down into another armbar. The arm is slammed onto the apron before Finlay goes with the armbar again. Back up and Finlay forearms away in the corner but Matt slugs him down. The middle rope elbow to the back connects and the Side Effect gets two. Finlay fights back but here is Hornswoggle at ringside. Finlay brings him inside but Jamie Noble comes out to chase Hornswoggle off. Finlay goes to rescue Hornswoggle….and it’s a countout.

Rating: C+. This felt like they had set up a joke for seventeen minutes and then forgot the punchline. They set up everything with Hardy’s arm being banged up and then just let it end in the middle of his comeback? Instead of managing to beat Finlay with one arm, it was like they were saying “close enough, we’re done”. This had me really confused and disappointed, even though the rest of it was rather good.

In the back, Jamie Noble asks Kid Kash and Funaki where Hornswoggle is. Finlay comes in and grabs Noble, telling him to stay away from Hornswoggle. Noble says this is three on one….but Kane pops up behind them and beats up Finlay.

Kane vs. Sylvan

Sylvan rants in French until the fire cuts him off. Kane sends him flying into the corner and hammers away without much trouble. The chinlock goes on for a bit but Sylvan cuts off a charge in the corner. Kane hits a big boot though and the top rope clothesline sets up the chokeslam for the easy win.

Post match Finlay runs in and beats Kane down with the shillelagh.

Teddy Long and Vickie Guerrero talk about Teddy’s wedding and gives him some Viagra as a wedding present.

Here is Chris Masters for the Masterlock Challenge to anyone in the crowd. A rather large fan is goaded into it, but says he has played football, wrestled…..and just got out of prison for manslaughter. With that, Masters picks another fan, who he easily beats. I’m still not sure why this is supposed to be interesting, especially after someone already broke the hold.

Batista tells Ric Flair to be careful against Great Khali, but Flair is mad over being rag dolled last week. He’s felt the Claw from other people before and now it is time for a Figure Four on Khali.

Ric Flair vs. Great Khali

Non-title. Flair chops away to start and is tossed to the ground for his efforts. The nerve hold goes on for a good while, followed by the big chop and a big boot. Flair manages a low blow and chops away, with Khali going down to a knee. Then Khali grabs the Claw to finish Flair without much trouble.

Rating: D. This was as good as Khali nerve holding Flair for about a minute and a half was going to be. The Claw is a fine way for someone with Khali’s hands to go, but you need something other than that. The problem is he can’t do much more and this was a bad example of how limited he really is.

Post match the Claw stays on so Batista runs in for the save. Khali Claws Batista down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I don’t remember the last time Smackdown came up with such a bad show as this was rather awful. There was nothing on here that you would need to see and the best match, between Hardy and Finlay, has one of the more disappointing endings I have heard of in a long time. This didn’t make me want to see Summerslam and it was one of the weakest shows WWE has put on in a long time.

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Smackdown
Date: August 3, 2007
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We are on the way to Summerslam and now we have a main event set for the show. Batista will be challenging the Great Khali for the World Heavyweight Title, which you probably could have seen coming. Other than that, we’re getting some kind of competition between Matt Hardy and MVP, which will NOT be wrestling, because that would be too appropriate. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Batista interrupting Great Khali’s celebration last week (kind of a jerk move really) and setting up the Summerslam title match.

Opening sequence.

Here are Teddy Long and Kristal for a chat. Kristal says Teddylicious (JBL is gone off that one) has an announcement: the wedding will take place on September 21 and everyone here is invited! All you would have to do is come to Atlanta! Cue the Great Khali with Runjin Singh to interrupt though and Long is a bit nervous. Khali speaks to Long and screams at Kristal, who runs off. Singh translates, as Khali wants Batista for what happened last week, but Long doesn’t like how Khali spoke to the two of them. The title match is on for Summerslam though.

Kane vs. Chris Masters

Masters grabs a headlock to start but gets shoved away without much trouble. Kane chokes away in the corner and cranks on the arm to take Masters down. Masters manages to snap him throat first across the top rope and the neck crank goes on. That’s broken up with a belly to back suplex though and Kane adds a regular one for a bonus. Kane hammers away in the corner and hits the running clothesline into the side slam. Masters tries the Masterlock again but gets reversed into a chokeslam for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. Basic power match here with Masters not being able to hook his one big move and getting chokeslammed instead. This was a fine way to keep Kane looking strong before he goes into whatever he’s doing at Summerslam. Masters…well he’s still employed and that’s impressive at this point.

Deuce N Domino are ready to take out Batista and Ric Flair. Deuce didn’t like Batista looking at Cherry….who is missing.

Chuck Palumbo still likes motorcycles.

Mark Henry vs. Nate Nickerson

Splash and bearhug finish for Henry in about a minute.

Henry says no one of consequence will take his challenge because of this, which sends us to a video on his dominance.

Jesse and Festus want to make sure they are well dressed, but only Jesse comes close.

We recap Matt Hardy vs. MVP, the latter of whom says he can beat Matt in anything.

It’s time for arm wrestling, with MVP taking his time like any heel in an arm wrestling contest. We go long form with the stalling so Matt finally grabs the hand and makes him start. Matt wins, sending MVP into a rant about how he can beat Matt in anything.

Matt Hardy vs. MVP

Non-title and joined in progress with Matt working on the arm. Matt sends the arm into the buckle and cranks away a bit before taking it down into an armbar. A Stunner on the arm gets two but MVP snaps Matt’s throat across the top. Now it’s MVP getting to crank on both arms at once but Matt throws him down and fires off right hands.

MVP is right back with the big boot, which sends Matt out to the floor to cut off the cover. The front facelock goes on back inside, because kicking Matt in the head again isn’t an option for some reason. Matt powers up and grabs a suplex to escape, followed by the clotheslines. A bulldog gives Matt two and a Side Effect is good for the same. The threat of the Twist of Fate sends MVP outside again and this time he takes the countout.

Rating: B-. These two worked well together and now the feud gets to continue. The good thing is they didn’t do something stupid here like have a surprise fall, as MVP bailing to talk more trash later is the right way to go. Hardy is actually on a heck of a roll at the moment and hopefully that leads somewhere good.

Domino is looking for Cherry and finds her coming out of Batista’s locker room. They leave with Deuce, but Ric Flair was inside. Batista pops up for some smiling as I have a lot of questions.

Jamie Noble runs into a laughing Funaki and Shannon Moore, who mock him for being short and losing to Hornswoggle. Noble gets frustrated as Hornswoggle pops out of a garbage can.

Rey Mysterio is back at Summerslam.

Chavo Guerrero comes in to see Vickie Guerrero and Kristal. The latter leaves so Chavo talks about putting Rey Mysterio out of action. Vickie gives him Rey at Summerslam.

Jamie Noble vs. Shannon Moore

Noble forearms him in the back of the head to start and some headbutts keep Moore in trouble. Moore fights up and hits Jeff Hardy’s Whisper in the Wind for two, only to walk into a gutbuster for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here, but it was a way to get Noble on the show, likely for what will be a goofy post match bit with Hornswoggle. That’s hardly the most thrilling deal, but at least they’re doing something with the title. Now granted they haven’t had a chance to turn it into a full on joke yet, but give them some time.

Post match here’s Hornswoggle for the chase, capped off with Noble getting hit with a pie (which he just happened to have laying around). Then Hornswoggle steps on him and runs away.

Kenny Dykstra vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Victoria and cowgirl Torrie Wilson are here. Yang grabs a headlock to start and hits a hard clothesline to the floor. The ensuing dive takes Dykstra out again but he’s right back with a neckbreaker for two. The chinlock goes on, followed by a suplex and another chinlock. Dykstra ties him in the Tree of Woe, where Victoria gets in a few shots of her own.

Yang doesn’t seem to mind and comes back with a dropkick, followed by the running spinwheel kick in the corner. The high crossbody is knocked out of the air though, meaning Dykstra can go up as well. This time it’s Yang kicking him down, setting up the moonsault press for the pin.

Rating: C. The more I watch these shows, the more amazed I am by how how nothing a lot of these matches seem to be. Yang is just shy of being a comedy character (who can wrestle a nice enough match) and he’s having a match with another low level guy like Dykstra. It’s not bad action or anything, but there isn’t much to draw anyone in here.

Ric Flair/Batista vs. Deuce N Domino

Non-title and Cherry is here with Deuce N Domino. Batista punches away at Deuce to start and it’s off to Flair for a hiptoss. It’s back to Batista for an armbar, which doesn’t last very long. Instead Flair comes back in and is backdropped down to give Deuce N Domino a breather. Domino hits a jumping back elbow to the jaw for two and we take a break.

Back with Batista getting to clean house and handing it off to Flair for the Figure Four. Domino makes the fast save though and it’s an armbar to keep Flair down. Deuce punches away to set up the Flair Flop and the armbar goes on again. Flair is bleeding from the eye, meaning Domino can stay on the arm. An elbow to the face gets Flair out of trouble though and the hot tag brings in Batista to clean house. The spear and spinning Boss Man Slam connect…and here is Great Khali. The distraction lets Deuce N Domino jump Batista and that’s a DQ.

Rating: C+. Batista and Flair still work well together and it wouldn’t have been a terrible upset, but the champs can’t beat Flair in a tag match? With distraction included? I know their reign is all but dead but egads man. Pretty good for a low level main event though, and Khali vs. Batista is built up some more. The match is going to be ugly, but they’re doing something to set it up.

Post match Khali puts Flair in a claw hold and knocks him out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Certainly not a bad show overall, but another show you didn’t need to see. That happens too frequently around Smackdown and it is never a good thing to see. They did add a few more matches to Summerslam, but another Rey vs. Chavo match is hardly the big drawing card for the show. Matt vs. MVP is good for a secondary feud though and if they can find a good angle, the title change should work out well. Overall pretty good, but they fall off after a certain point when it comes to feeling important.

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Smackdown
Date: July 27, 2007
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re done with the Great American Bash and we’re still living in the Great Khali’s world. Khali survived against Kane and Batista in a triple threat match and now we need a new challenger. By that it probably means one of the two, and since Kane got pinned, Batista would seem to be a likely option. Let’s get to it.

Here is the Great American Bash if you need a recap.

We open with a triple threat recap as Khali retains the title.

Opening sequence.

Batista vs. Deuce

Domino and Cherry are here with Deuce. Batista powers him down with as much effort as you would expect him to need and then does it again. Domino offers a distraction though and Batista gets kicked out to the floor. Back in and Deuce scores with a kick to the head before avoiding a charge to send Batista into the post. The armbar goes on for a bit but Deuce spends too much time trash talking, allowing Batista to hit a spear. Some clotheslines set up the shoulders in the corner and there’s the spinebuster. The Batista Bomb finishes Deuce off.

Rating: C. This was a heck of a lot more competitive than I would have bet on and that’s not the worst thing. Batista should have to break a sweat to beat a champion, even if it is Deuce. It might not have been a great match, but it makes sense to get Batista out there in front of the fans.

We look at Hornswoggle winning the Cruiserweight Title.

Jamie Noble is sick of people laughing at him for losing to Hornswoggle so tonight it is time for him to get the title back.

Michelle McCool likes to swim.

Cruiserweight Title: Hornswoggle vs. Jamie Noble

Noble is challenging but there is no Hornswoggle to start. With no champ, Noble checks underneath the ring but Hornswoggle pops up in the ring because of course he does. Noble gets back in so Hornswoggle can bite/kick his leg for some early annoyance. They head outside and Noble kicks the steps by mistake. Hornswoggle tricks him into missing a charge and it’s a dropkick for two on Noble. Back up and Hornswoggle gets tossed outside, where the chase is on. Noble manages to rib off Hornswoggle’s shoe…but falls and gets counted out. Somehow, Cole interprets this as a pin.

Rating: D. Somehow, this might make the title feel a bit more important than it has in months. Yes it was comedy and the champ made Noble look like an idiot, but I’ll almost take this over the lifeless matches that we had for such a long time. Hornswoggle is little more than a joke as champion but it’s not like the title has meant anything in a long time anyway.

Video on Rey Mysterio, who is on his way back.

We look at the Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero I Quit match where Chavo destroyed Rey’s knee to put him on the shelf.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Eugene

Apparently Eugene and Cole had a nice chat earlier today. Chavo goes after the knee to start and we hit the half crab to make it worse. That’s broken up and the bad knee means Eugene can’t get the airplane spin. Instead, Chavo can belly to back suplex him down and it’s back to the knee. The leg cranking is on and Chavo bends the knee around the rope. Chavo sends him face first into the corner and Eugene’s comeback is on, meaning the airplane spin can work this time. That’s enough for Chavo, who hits a quick brainbuster and the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C-. It was about all you could get out of Chavo vs. Eugene with Chavo working on the knee to show he’s ready for the return of Rey Mysterio. Other than that though, it was little more than a squash with Guerrero never being in any serious danger. Fine enough to build Chavo back up though, assuming you can get invested in a Chavo Guerrero feud.

Ric Flair and Matt Hardy are ready for their tag match.

Jesse and Festus really love America.

MVP/Chris Masters vs. Matt Hardy/Ric Flair

Hardy starts with MVP but it’s off to Masters before anything gets going. Masters fights out of an early headlock and powers Hardy into the corner for a shot to the face. MVP comes in and stomps away in the corner but it’s quickly off to Flair for a bunch of chops. The villains are knocked outside for a breather and we take an early break.

Back with Flair working on MVP’s leg but a rope is grabbed in a hurry. Hardy comes in for a few shots and it’s right back to Flair for more chops. One of them knocks MVP over for the tag to Masters, who unloads in the corner. MVP’s running boot in the corner knocks Flair silly and it’s off to a hammerlock. Masters comes back in for a powerslam and an armbar but Flair fights up in a hurry. A kick to the face allows the hot tag to Hardy so house can be cleaned. The Side Effect gets two with MVP making a fast save. Not that it matters as the Twist of Fate finishes Masters (with MVP not bothering to make another save).

Rating: C+. Hardy gets a win back to start his rebuilding and that is a good idea. Ultimately, Hardy is probably not done with MVP and the title so it makes a lot of sense to put him in in a spot like this. Flair and Masters were just kind of there, but at least they did something to keep the match fresh.

Post match MVP says that doesn’t matter because he’s still the US Champion. Hardy brought everything he had at the Great American Bash and lost, because he can’t beat MVP at anything. Matt tells him to put his money where his mouth is and give him another title shot. MVP says the title is off the table but Matt can’t beat him at anything, from baseball to running to chess or anything else. That’s fine with Matt, who says he’ll pick a bunch of games and beat MVP every single time. Then MVP will have no choice but to give Matt a US Title shot. I think Matt’s logic might be a bit off there.

Chuck Palumbo loves motorcycles.

Mark Henry vs. Joey Blaylock

Henry runs him over without much trouble to start and adds a big boot. A powerslam and splash get two, with Henry picking him up. The bearhug finishes Blaylock in a hurry.

Post match, Henry says no man or beast can beat him and tosses Blaylock outside. That was such a bad beating that Henry beat the Blaylock out of him and turned the guy into Joey Ryan.

Raw Rebound.

Teddy Long and Kristal are talking wedding plans when Ron Simmons comes in. Long asks him to be the best man, which is good for a catchphrase and an emotional hug. The guys are off for some cigars and reminiscing.

Here’s the same video on the Great American Bash triple threat from earlier.

Edge had his torn pectoral muscle fixed and he still blames Kane.

Kane vs. Dave Taylor

Taylor isn’t scared and slugs away to start, earning himself a toss across the ring. Kane unloads in the corner and drops an elbow, only to get uppercutted some more. An armbar actually has Kane in a bit more trouble and Taylor pounds him into the corner again. Kane isn’t having that though and scores with a running clothesline, setting up the sidewalk slam. There’s the top rope clothesline and Kane hits the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C. Who would have thought that Taylor would give Kane a bit of a fight here? Taylor is someone who certainly does put in the effort every time he is out there and it gives you a match that is far better than you would expect. Kane seems primed for a big enough match at Summerslam, though I’m not sure who he could face.

Torrie Wilson has gone cowgirl for her mixed tag with Jimmy Wang Yang against Victoria and Kenny Dykstra. And no, apparently the shorts aren’t too short.

Torrie Wilson/Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Kenny Dykstra/Victoria

Victoria goes after Torrie before the bell but it’s Dykstra clotheslining Yang a few times to start instead. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Yang’s back as commentary talks about how Torrie looks. Yang fights up and hits a spinwheel kick, allowing the double tag to the women. Some clotheslines have Victoria in trouble but she comes right back with the spinning side slam for two. The double arm crank goes on but Torrie is back up with a swinging neckbreaker. Torrie has to crawl away from Dykstra though…and it’s off to Yang a few seconds later anyway. The moonsault press finishes Dykstra without much trouble.

Rating: D. They had a short and bad match as commentary talked about how great Torrie looked throughout. That’s about all you can expect here and I can’t say I’m surprised. It isn’t like there is anything else for them to do and Torrie wearing the outfit was there to be more fun and silly than anything else, which didn’t help the match that much.

It’s time for Great Khali’s World Championship celebration, complete with a bunch of dancers and music setting up his entrance. Khali and Runjin Singh come out, with Khali holding the title upside down again. Singh translates Khali’s yelling, which is bragging about all of his accomplishments. Now he is one of the greatest Indians of all time, like M. Night Shyamalan and Mother Teresa! It is time for Punjabi dancing but, after a good while, Batista interrupts. The challenge for a title match is on and a spear drops Khali to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t a very good show and I’m not sure I can see it getting better anytime in the near future. There was very little worth seeing on here and I don’t know how good things are going to be on the way to Summerslam. Edge being gone hurt things but it wasn’t like it was a great weekly show before his injury. It wasn’t a very good show, but it was more uninteresting than anything else.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Dynamite
Date: December 29, 2021
Location: Daily’s Place, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Jim Ross, Excalibur, Tony Schiavone

We’ll wrap up another year of Dynamite with this one, in the place that hosted the show for what felt like the better part of ever. Cody Rhodes it the new TNT Champion, which hopefully is not just for the Go Big Show or Rhodes To The Top. Other than that, we also have the welcome return of Jim Ross, who has announced that he is cancer free. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Jim Ross gets a big entrance for his return, which is a great thing to see.

Jurassic Express/Christian Cage/Lucha Bros vs. FTR/Matt Hardy/Private Party

Wheeler takes Christian into the corner for a clean break so we hit the double bicep pose. Christian works on the arm for a bit so it’s off to Harwood to trade chops with Jungle Boy in the corner. Harwood gets caught in the wrong corner and it’s Christian coming in for a kick to the face. The jump over the top into the uppercut has Harwood rocked and Wheeler has to break up the Snare Trap.

It’s off to Kassidy but the Lucha Bros come in for the wheelbarrow splash (after a bit of mistiming). Jungle Boy adds a springboard onto Kassidy and then sends him over the top, only to have Quen take Jungle Boy down. Hardy is in with the Side Effect and it’s Jungle Boy in trouble in the corner. A catapult sends Jungle Boy into the buckle and he has to fight out of Hardy’s chinlock.

Back up and a heck of a clothesline drops Hardy and it’s back to Fenix to pick up the pace. Private Party hits a pretty sweet assisted flip DDT to plant Fenix for two but he’s able to shove FTR off the top. A heck of a double springboard moonsault takes FTR down and it’s off to Luchasaurus to clean house. Kassidy gets launched into the air and lets out a scream that would make Vickie Guerrero jealous.

The double chokeslam is broken up so Luchasaurus kicks Wheeler in the face. The chokeslam hits Harwood but Penta tags himself in, much to Luchasaurus’ annoyance. Everything breaks down, including Fenix hitting a crazy rope work corkscrew dive, but Christian tags himself in to break up the Fear Factor. FTR shoves them together though and it’s the Big Rig to finish Christian at 12:35.

Rating: B. They didn’t go too nuts here and it was a good match as a result. Sometimes you can get a little too crazy when you have this many people involved and thankfully they kept it a little more calm. The Lucha Bros vs. Jurassic Express should be good, assuming they don’t add in FTR as a bonus. Hopefully not as it could get messy, but that doesn’t tend to be AEW’s way in title matches.

2.0/Daniel Garcia vs. Eddie Kingston/Santana/Ortiz

Kingston goes right after Garcia and it’s a big brawl on the floor in the first minute. Back in and we settle down to Ortiz vs. Jeff Parker, with the former taking over. Garcia comes in and teases wanting Kingston but gets Santana instead. Three Amigos have Garcia in trouble so it’s back to Ortiz, who gets caught by a kick to the face on the floor. We take a break and come back with Kingston getting the tag to rapid fire chop Garcia in the corner. Everything breaks down and Lee blocks Ortiz’s splash with raised knees, setting up a rollup with tights to give Lee the pin at 9:50.

Rating: C. This was an intense match but they were don maybe a minute after coming back. It was more of a wild match than the ten man tag as well, which didn’t exactly do it any favors. Between not being able to remember which member of 2.0 is which, there were too many things going on at once here and it brought the match down.

Post match Garcia hits Santana in the face with the ring bell. Cue the returning Chris Jericho for the late save. Kingston shoves Jericho away and says he doesn’t need the help. Ortiz has to play peacemaker.

Maxwell Jacob Friedman talks about unsafe working conditions involving that crazy dive last week, while suggesting that it wouldn’t happening a more professional company. We’ll worry about that later though, because Wardlow needs to quality for the Face of the Revolution ladder match. That way he can win the TNT Title and hand it over to MJF, as their contract says. Wardlow isn’t happy.

Christian Cage isn’t happy with the Lucha Bros so the challenge for the Tag Team Titles is set for next week. The response is some insults to Cage, plus an acceptance.

Wardlow vs. Colin Delaney

Powerbomb Symphony finishes Delaney at 1:24.

Post match, Shawn Spears chairs Delaney down.

The Young Bucks don’t seem to like Kyle O’Reilly, who wants to talk to Adam Cole in private. This includes Bobby Fish leaving so O’Reilly can ask if Cole has his back or not. Cole doesn’t seem happy.

Here are Dan Lambert and the Men of the Year to rant about Cody Rhodes. Lambert doesn’t think much of Cody but thinks even less of Brandi Rhodes. Stripper jokes abound, with Ethan Page mocking her wrestling abilities as well. Cue Brandi, who uses the same lines that she used on Jade Cargill during her debut. They don’t like each other, with Brandi being ready to beat him up (without having him pay for it) but Lambert, a black belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu, isn’t worried and makes stripper jokes. Brandi: “Well I’m a black b****!” Dustin Rhodes comes in for the save and gets laid out, with Brandi checking on him.

Video on Bryan Danielson vs. Hangman Page II, with a focus on the still unnamed judges.

TBS Title Tournament Semifinals: Jade Cargill vs. Thunder Rosa

Mark Sterling is here with Cargill and Rosa has Wolverine claws. Rosa goes after Cargill’s leg to start but a Sterling distraction lets Cargill take over on the floor. Some kicks to the leg get Rosa out of trouble but she dives into a backbreaker. Rosa snaps off a hurricanrana but gets posted hard. They finally get back inside, where Rosa shrugs off some knees to the face and hits a dragon screw legwhip. Cargill runs her over again though and we take a break.

Back with Rosa hammering on the knee in the corner and hitting some running clotheslines. Cargill Samoan drops her down again but bangs up the knee on the nip up. Rosa is right back to the leg with a shinbreaker into the Figure Four but Sterling offers a distraction. The hold is put on again but this time, Cargill kicks her into the corner, where a crew member hits her with a kendo stick. A fast Jaded gives Cargill the pin at 11:00.

Rating: C. It might not have been the cleanest match in the world and Jade still looks like she is quite green in the ring without knowing how to do something this long. The good thing is that Rosa was there to to walk her through the match with the story of the knee. It was far from a terrible match though and I’ll take what I can get with Cargill in this kind of a match.

Post match Rosa goes after Cargill again but it’s Mercedes Martinez as the crew member for the save and beatdown. Ruby Soho runs in with a pipe for the save.

Video on Riho vs. Britt Baker for the Women’s Title.

Here is CM Punk for a chat, but first he wants to say how glad he is to have Jim Ross back. With that taken care of, Punk talks about how he has never been here before, but it makes him think about Brodie Lee. If anyone out there has to say something about how Lee didn’t do anything, it means they didn’t meet him. Punk watched the tribute show to Lee and it made him want to come here.

Maybe there is someone who isn’t worth his time and doesn’t want to be here, like MJF. Punk talks about last week’s six man tag and now MJF says he’s done with him. That’s fine with Punk after he got to team with Sting to beat FTR and now they can move on to something else. MJF was talking about it too: they both want the World Title and MJF is a bigger waste of Khan Money than Tim Tebow….and we’ll pause off that one.

Punk never wanted to mess with MJF but on this mic and in this ring, no one can touch him. If MJF wants to climb that ladder though, Punk will see him in this ring, but it would be a shame if someone interfered with his quest for gold. I’m not sure what happened here but Punk didn’t have quite the zing here, Tebow joke aside.

Ricky Starks isn’t happy with Dante Martin tossing him from the Dynamite Diamond battle royal. Powerhouse Hobbs can take care of Martin again if that’s what Martin wants.

We look at Cody Rhodes taking the TNT Title from Sammy Guevara.

Here is Sammy with his signs and we take a break, as is usually the case.

Video on Hikaru Shida vs. Serena Deeb.

Here is Brian Pillman Jr. to talk about Malakai Black trying to end Griff Garrison’s career. Then he remembered getting kicked in the head to leave him laying. Pillman worked hard to get here and started in Jacksonville, Florida. He didn’t know his father, but he knows he only gets one life and Black isn’t getting it. Next week, you’re seeing a brand new Brian Pillman Jr…and there go the lights. Malakai Black pops up on the ramp and then disappears again.

The Acclaimed complains about how they aren’t ranked but Sting and Darby Allin are. That’s why Anthony Bowens is taking care of Allin on Rampage.

Sting talks about how casual people are about main events these days. Allin says he’s fine with being in any match on the card and is ready for Bowens on Friday.

Video on Tay Conti/Anna Jay vs. Bunny/Penelope Ford, setting up their street fight on Rampage.

Orange Cassidy/Best Friends vs. Kyle O’Reilly/Adam Cole/Bobby Fish

Taylor and O’Reilly start things off with O’Reilly kneeing him in the ribs. Trent comes in to strike away with O’Reilly, including stereo boots to the face for a double knockdown. Cassidy comes in and rolls Fish up for two so it’s off to Cole, who gets taken down a few times. The Paisan elbow brings O’Reilly and Fish in, only to be sent outside. Cole breaks up the big hug though and the good guys are sent outside.

We take a break and come back with Cole superkicking Cassidy off the apron but everything breaks down instead. Trent tornado DDT’s O’Reilly for two but Fish comes back in to send Trent into the corner. Some running strikes connect but Trent manages a knockdown of his own. The hot tag brings in Cassidy but a DDT into a wheelbarrow suplex gives O’Reilly two. Cassidy gets taken down with a High/Low but Chuck makes the save.

They fight outside, where the Panama Sunrise on the ramp is countered with a backdrop. Taylor flip dives onto O’Reilly and Fish, leaving Cole to get speared down. Back in and Cassidy’s top rope DDT gets two on Cole, setting up back to back piledrivers. Beach Break gets two, with O’Reilly and Fish making the save. O’Reilly kicks Cole by mistake though and it’s back to Taylor for a knee to O’Reilly’s face. Soul Food into Trent’s half and half suplex sets up the big hug but here is Brandon Cutler to offer a distraction. The Young Bucks run in with double superkicks and Chasing the Dragon finishes Chuck at 14:55.

Rating: B-. They had me wondering if Cassidy was going to get a big win here so well done on making me think they were insane. Cole and company need to be established as a trio to start and that is what they made work here. Granted it is designed to be focused on a Young Bucks story, so there is a pretty firm limit to how interesting it is going to be. At least they had a good enough match here so well done.

Cole stands with the Young Bucks and Cutler, leaving O’Reilly and Fish unhappy to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Pretty good show to wrap up the Dynamite year, though it didn’t have the big blow away moment or match to really make it work. What we got here was a lot of stuff designed to set things up for later and sometimes that is the show you need. Next week is one of the all time stacked Dynamites and if it lives up to its hype, we should be in for a classic. Good enough show this week and that’s all it needed to be.

Results
FTR/Private Party/Matt Hardy b. Jurassic Express/Christian Cage/Lucha Bros – Big Rig to Cage
2.0/Daniel Garcia b. Eddie Kingston/Santana/Ortiz – Rollup with trunks to Ortiz
Wardlow b. Colin Delaney – Powerbomb Symphony
Jade Cargill b. Thunder Rosa – Jaded
Adam Cole/Kyle O’Reilly/Bobby Fish b. Orange Cassidy/Best Friends – Chasing the Dragon to Taylor

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