Smackdown
Date: January 12, 2007
Location: Peoria Civic Center, Peoria, Illinois
Attendance: 2,600
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

This is a bit of a weird show as it is part two of the Beat The Clock Challenge. Last week we had a bunch of people trying to set the fastest time with the winner getting to challenge Batista for the Smackdown World Title at the Royal Rumble. Tonight we have even more people trying to do the same so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Mr. Kennedy likes his chances with a time of 5:07. That’s a pretty long time actually.

Beat The Clock: Finlay vs. Matt Hardy

The clock is set at 5:07. They start brawling on the floor with Finlay getting the better of things and taking it back inside for one. Hardy grabs a rollup for two and hits the running corner clothesline into the bulldog for the same. Finlay’s backslide gives him two of his own but they collide for a double knockdown. It’s Hardy back up first with a pair of Side Effects for two each but Finlay breaks up the third. Instead Hardy takes him down and goes up, only to be distracted by the Leprechaun. Finlay uses said distraction to hit him in the knee with the shillelagh. An Indian Deathlock goes on but time expires at 5:07.

Rating: C. They were beating on each other rather well here and it felt like they were both trying to win the match. That’s how the match should go and it made sense, though there is only so much quality you can get in such little time. On top of that, it doesn’t make Finlay look great when he can’t win a match in five minutes with interference and a weapon shot.

Post match here is Joey Mercury to blast Hardy with a chair over and over like a bit of a mad man.

Post break, Mercury says he is going to go after Hardy until their faces look alike. That’s quite the threat.

Tatanka vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Rematch from last week’s surprisingly good match. Yang hammers away at the bell to send Tatanka outside for a breather. Back in and Yang jumps him again but this time it’s a whip into the corner so Tatanka can pound him down for a change. A few kicks to the back set up a chinlock to keep Yang in trouble, followed by a suplex for two. Tatanka hits a shoulder in the corner and grabs another chinlock but Yang jawbreaks his way to freedom. Some kicks to the face stagger Tatanka and it’s a crossbody into a neckbreaker for two. A spinwheel kick lets Yang go up but Tatanka pulls him down into the End of the Trail for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not as good as last week but at least Tatanka got a pin. Granted this was his last match in WWE so it isn’t like it matters that much. Tatanka asked to be released the following week and was let go, which makes a bit of sense. There wasn’t much of a role for him, but he wasn’t a total disaster or anything close to it. Just not the right time for him, so this was probably the best idea.

Maryse, in the shower, welcomes us back to the show.

Clips of the four team ladder match from December, with Joey Mercury’s nose exploding.

Chris Benoit vs. Mr. Kennedy

Non-title rematch from last week where Kennedy won. Benoit wastes no time in taking Kennedy around the ring to start and sending him into the buckle. A backdrop sets up a snap suplex for two on Kennedy but an elbow to the face cuts him down. Benoit is right back with the German suplex to send Kennedy outside, but Benoit throws him back inside. That earns him a toss to the floor with a pull of the trunks, setting up a few slams on the floor.

Back in and Kennedy drops an elbow for two but Benoit snaps off the northern lights suplex for two of his own. The rolling German suplexes connect but here is Chavo Guerrero for a distraction as we take a break. Back with Chavo on commentary and Benoit having to go to the ropes to get out of an armbar. That means a suplex over the top to put both of them on the floor for the big crash. They get back in with Kennedy whipping him into the corner for two, setting up the abdominal stretch.

The referee does his job for once and catches Kennedy grabbing the rope so Kennedy drops Benoit ribs first onto the top rope for two. Back in and Benoit manages to send him into the corner for a breather. Benoit heads up top but gets superplexed right back down for another near fall. Kennedy picks him up but Benoit snaps him down into the Crossface attempt, sending Kennedy bailing out to the floor.

Back in and Kennedy has to punch his way out of the Sharpshooter attempt, followed by a backbreaker to put Benoit down for a change. Another Crossface attempt is broken up in a hurry so Benoit rolls the German suplexes for two instead. The Swan Dive connects for a delayed two but Kennedy flapjacks him onto the top rope. There’s the Regal Roll and Kennedy goes up top, where he has to shove Benoit back down.

A missile dropkick gives Kennedy two but the Kenton Bomb misses. That means Benoit can hit five straight German suplexes and the Sharpshooter goes on this time. Cue Chavo for a distraction so Benoit tries the Sharpshooter on him as well, only to have Kennedy roll Benoit up with the tights for the pin.

Rating: B. This was a heck of a match despite the fairly eye roll inducing ending. Benoit vs. Chavo is done already and I’m not sure why they are keeping it going. Kennedy continues his rise to the top and it would not surprise me to see him hold on after how they have set him up here. Good match too, and one of the better ones in recent memory on Smackdown.

Post match Benoit beats up Chavo, who bails to the floor.

We see another part of the career history of Batista, including his comeback to become World Champion again. As usual, WWE is really good at this stuff.

Tag Team Titles: William Regal/Dave Taylor vs. Brian Kendrick/Paul London

London and Kendrick, with Ashley, are defending. Joined in progress after a break with Taylor headlock takeovering Kendrick to grind away a bit. A monkey flip into a dropkick gets Kendrick out of trouble and it’s off to London as we start plugging Ashley’s Playboy. Regal comes in and gets double suplexed, followed by a top rope double stomp to Regal’s back.

Cole actually gets in a smart question by asking how the APA would have dealt with London and Kendrick. See how easy that can be? Taylor comes back in to slam London down and a suplex gets two. We hit the chinlock for a bit, followed by a tag back to Taylor for a chinlock of his own. Make that another chinlock from Regal and then a quickly broken dragon sleeper from Taylor.

London charges at Regal and manages to drive him into the corner for the hot tag off to Kendrick. The pace is picked up and a middle rope crossbody hits Regal but he rolls through for two. London and Taylor go outside, leaving Kendrick to backslide Regal and retain. Regal’s scream of anger makes it that much better.

Rating: C+. Good match here, as you kind of knew would be the case. Regal and Taylor are fine challengers for the pretty awesome champs, though the problem is becoming obvious: there is no one to give London and Kendrick a real challenge, which is making things a little less interesting. Maybe a new team can come in, but for now, it is fun to watch these guys hang onto the titles in entertaining matches.

Remember when Kane burned MVP in the Inferno match?

Beat The Clock: MVP vs. Vito

The clock is set at 5:07 and MVP is taped up after the Inferno match. MVP rakes the eyes to take over to start and stomps away to put Vito down. Vito pulls him down to the mat for two as Kennedy watches anxiously in the back. A kick to the back gets two on Vito as JBL is freaking out over Vito’s dress.

Back up and Vito hits a slam into a Vader Bomb for two, followed by some rollups for two each. Vito goes for the arm but MVP kicks him down again. A running boot in the corner gets two on Vito and there’s a faceplant for the same. Vito sweeps the legs into a jackknife rollup for two but time expires at 5:07.

Rating: C-. This went by fast but it never really felt like they were going for the win as hard as they could. What matters is keeping the overall story moving while also building something up with each match. This showed you just how banged up MVP’s ribs really are, which could give us something new in the whole Teddy Long Is A Horrible Boss deal. It was an energetic enough match, though the Vito deal is totally over already.

Post match MVP kicks him to the floor but gets dropped on his ribs for good measure.

Raw Rebound.

Next week: Chavo Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit for the US Title in a No DQ match.

Batista is ready for anyone and he won’t sleep on Mr. Kennedy. Facing Undertaker would be cool though.

Beat The Clock: Miz vs. Undertaker

The clock is set at 5:07 and JBL is VERY happy when Miz is announced as the opponent. Miz dodges around to start but gets thrown into the corner to start the right hands. Old School gets two and the chokeslam is loaded up with 3:00 left. Cue Mr. Kennedy for a distraction so Undertaker drops him, allowing Miz to score with some dropkicks.

Undertaker knocks Miz outside and there’s the apron legdrop. Snake Eyes sets up the big boot but the referee gets bumped. Undertaker has to deal with Kennedy but comes back in for a chokeslam. Kennedy pulls Miz to the floor so Undertaker throws him back in for the Tombstone and the cover as time expires at 5:07.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t the point here, as this was about Kennedy being an annoyance to keep Undertaker from beating Miz. There is something to be said about Kennedy managing to hang in there long enough to win in the end, as it is not the kind of thing you would have expected to happen. Kennedy is fine in the Royal Rumble title shot too, so this worked out well for a story, though not so much for a match.

Kennedy is happy to win end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Just like last week, this was mainly about one idea and that worked well enough. What mattered here was setting up the Royal Rumble title match and Kennedy is a good choice for the shot. The rest of the show set up a few more things, but the Rumble itself continues to be a thing that happens to be happening. The match does not need a lot of build, but a little build might help things out.

 

 

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Dynamite
Date: June 11, 2021
Location: Daily’s Place, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Jim Ross, Excalibur, Tony Schiavone

The Friday night escapades continue as we move towards the return of fans in a little over a month. That means we could be in for a big card tonight but there is always something interesting going on around here. I’m not sure what to expect and that can often be a good thing with AEW. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

The Hardy Family Office is in the ring to get things going. Matt Hardy rants about how Christian Cage is jealous over Matt making more money in his career so tonight, Angelico is going to give Christian such a beating that he will never financially recover.

Angelico vs. Christian Cage

They fight over arm control to start so Angelico offers him his leg to keep things interesting. Christian doesn’t fall for that and hits Angelico in the face instead. Some right hands in the corner stagger Angelico even more but he is right back up to pull Christian off the top. Angelico stomps on the arm and sends Christian hard into the corner.

The arm is wrapped around the rope and Angelico adds a PK to the shoulder. Something like a short armscissors goes on with Christian having to get to the ropes. Christian starts the comeback but gets pulled down by the arms again. Angelico goes up but dives into raised boots and it’s a small package to give Christian two. A collision puts both of them down and they get up in opposite corners. Christian is over this and grabs the Killswitch for the pin at 9:24.

Rating: C. Not a bad opener but Christian still hasn’t quite caught fire around here. He’s perfectly solid and in no way looking horrible, but at the same time, he isn’t exactly great so far. The idea of Matt Hardy vs. Christian in 2021 doesn’t do much for me, though Christian doesn’t need to go any higher than that whatsoever.

Post match Jack Evans runs in to lay out Christian, allowing Matt to hit another Twist of Fate.

Here’s the July schedule:

July 7 – Road Rager
July 14 – Fyter Fest Night One
July 21 – Fyter Fest Night Two
July 28 – Fight For The Fallen

They’re really pushing this return.

Tony Schiavone is here for a chat, but first he has an announcement: next week it’s QT Mar-Shall (as it was pronounced in Ring Of Honor)/Aaron Solow vs. Cody Rhodes and…..Brock Anderson, the son of Arn Anderson. Here are Cody, Brock and Arn, with Cody talking about how Brock is going to prove that he wasn’t born on third base. Cue QT Marshall to say he’s tired of all of Cody’s vanity projects (preach it).

Cody has been ducking the up and coming stars but the people who are really behind Cody are the fans. Marshall: “Not the IWC. The real paying fans.” Marshall wants to end this with Cody in a South Beach Strap match when all of the fans are back. Cody is ready to do it right now but Marshall decks Arn and Brock jumps him until referees pull him off.

Pac/Penta El Zero Miedo/Eddie Kingston vs. Young Bucks/Brandon Cutler

Don Callis joins commentary as Pac sends Cutler (in a mask to protect his injured face) into the corner to start and kicks him down. Penta comes in to kick him down and chop the skin off of Cutler’s chest. Kingston comes in for a double stomp and Pac kicks him even more, meaning he wants the Bucks for a change. Matt comes in and gets dropped, allowing Pac to mock the Bucks’ pose. Nick trips over the rope getting inside so Pac knocks him to the floor again. Matt is back up to kick Pac in the face and we take a break.

Back with Pac fighting his way out of the corner so Kingston can come in to clean house. Penta comes in with a high crossbody and kicks Cutler in the mask. Matt gets dropped and Nick kicks Cutler in the face by mistake. The Backstabber drops Nick and the Pentagon Driver gets two with Cutler making the save.

A series of kicks in the corner look to set up the Black Arrow but Cutler’s distraction breaks it up. Kingston cleans house and takes Nick to the floor as Penta dives onto Cutler. Pac hits the 450 into the Brutalizer on Matt but Nick…can’t break it up despite kicking Pac in the head. Kingston and Pac hit dives onto Nick and Cutler, leaving Matt to roll Pac up with trunks for two. Pac gets buckle bombed into a pair of kicks, but Cutler misses a springboard elbow. Kingston hits the spinning backfist to give Pac the pin on Cutler at 13:06.

Rating: C+. It was certainly fast paced, though the ending wasn’t the biggest surprise. You know the Bucks aren’t losing, like ever, including when Pac had the Brutalizer. Cutler was there to take the fall so that worked out fine, though building up Pac/Penta for a title shot is not quite as thrilling when the Bucks already beat them.

Post match the Bucks are on Penta and Pac a mere five seconds after the bell (that’s our Bucks), with the Good Brothers coming in to help with the beatdown. Kazarian comes in for the save and Cutler is left alone, with Kazarian planting him with a clothesline.

We get a Don Callis/Kenny Omega produced video on the Double Or Nothing World Title match, complete with some questionable subtitles.

Here is the Pinnacle for their first comments since Double Or Nothing. Dax Harwood talks about how Stadium Stampede did not go as well as they hoped, but FTR doesn’t want to hear about Santana and Ortiz. Harwood has a family to take care of and is going to take money out of Santana and Ortiz’s pockets. How have they not won the Tag Team Titles in two years?

Shawn Spears says he is the hero instead of Sammy Guevara and they aren’t done. Wardlow thinks that Jake Hager is obsessed with him and needs him around. Is that because Hager brings out the best in him? Next week, they can meet in an octagon, where Wardlow will show that everywhere is his world.

MJF says he’s getting a little tired because he was the best so soon. No one here can relate to that, because they won’t be the best at anything. That brings him to Chris Jericho, with MJF watching every match and listening to every promo. MJF was at the Double Or Nothing Rally in 2019 and spoke on the stage. Then he saw Chris Jericho, his idol. MJF couldn’t believe it because he was going to get the chance to work with Jericho, but that isn’t how it went.

One night it hit him: he had spent all of this time idolizing a false god. Jericho is not even remotely on his level so he has nothing to prove to the fans. The match request is denied, so MJF is moving on to Sammy Guevara. Sammy can’t compete in the talking department because he has the verbal skills of Helen Keller. MJF is better than Sammy and he knows it, but here is Chris Jericho on the screen.

The Pinnacle can walk home, because the Inner Circle is destroying the Pinnacle’s limo. Tires are slashed, windows are broken, spray paint is applied, and I lose count of how many cars or vehicles have been used in this company’s history. Cue Jake Hager with a forklift to crush the limo all over again, including lifting it into the air and dropping it down. Jericho thinks the Pinnacle is going to need an Uber and Sammy is ready to fight anytime. MJF’s promo was good, but a feud should probably be done after WarGames and Stadium Stampede.

Darby Allin wants Sting to stay home for his handicap match with Ethan Page and Shawn Spears. Sting says Allin has nothing to prove because he was the TNT Champion when Sting got here. Allin: “It’s not about that. Just stay home this one time please.” Sting agrees and they bump fists because everything is cool.

Evil Uno talks about what Brodie Lee meant to the Dark Order. He wants to bring the TNT Title back to the Dark Order to honor Lee again.

TNT Title: Miro vs. Evil Uno

Uno is challenging and has some of the Dark Order with him. Miro slams him down in a hurry but Uno chops him out to the floor. That’s fine with Miro, but he punches a post and gets taken down with a flip dive from the apron. Back in and Miro off the ropes and into a Saito suplex as we take a break.

Back with Uno being knocked outside in a heap but the Dark Order’s pep talk gets him back inside. That earns the Order a beating and Miro rips the turnbuckle pad off. Uno gets in some shots to the face, including a running big boot. A Swanton connects and the rest of the Dark Order comes out to cheer Uno on. Miro can’t hit a spinout Rock Bottom and gets kicked into the exposed buckle for two. A hard clothesline drops Uno though and it’s Game Over to retain the title at 9:36.

Rating: C+. This was a match that had no business being good and they made it work anyway. I was getting into the idea of wanting Uno to win the title in Lee’s memory, though Miro should not be losing for a good while to come. Good stuff here, as they turned what should have been just a quick match into enough of a story to pull me in. Nice job.

Video on Andrade El Idolo, who seems rather rich and is billed as the Face of Latinos.

Here are Kenny Omega and Don Callis for a chat. Callis talks about the AEW conspiracy to get the title off of Kenny Omega, so Jungle Boy did a good job at becoming the #1 contender. But to Callis, Jungle Boy is just like the band that sings his theme song: a one hit wonder. Omega talks about how he is supposed to sell the match but he can’t bring himself to say anything bad about Jungle Boy.

When he looks at Boy’s long hair and underwear model body, Omega sees a bit of himself. There is something missing though, and Callis thinks it is the guts. Cue Jungle Boy, with Omega saying he has never heard Boy talk. Omega doesn’t think this will be the battle of wits or the greatest promo of all time.

If he has anything to say, he has five five second to say it because Omega is getting tired of this. Boy says Omega talks to much so Omega swings, only to get punched up against the ropes. Omega gets pulled into the Snare Trap but the Young Bucks run in to clear Boy out. This was good once Boy came in, but Omega talking is not the best thing.

Jade Cargill and Mark Sterling are rather happy that their monetization plan has been a success. Next up: marketing the catchphrase, because Cargill is that b****.

Ethan Page and Scorpio Sky aren’t impressed with Darby Allin but they are going to take him out again. They are going to chop him down, step on his body and move up, because it is all up from here for the Men Of The Year. What an odd name for a team.

Lance Archer vs. Chandler Hopkins

Archer jumps him to start but Hopkins actually gets out of the chokeslam. Archer knocks Hopkins out of the air and this the big chokeslam. The Blackout finishes for Archer at 52 seconds.

Archer storms out of the arena immediately after the win.

The Wingmen offer Orange Cassidy a chance to get his wardrobe upgrade, or Cesar Bononi will mess up his face.

Nyla Rose vs. Leyla Hirsch

Vickie Guerrero is here with Rose. Leyla chases Vickie out to start and gets slammed for her efforts. That doesn’t seem to cause much trouble though as a cross armbreaker has Rose in trouble. A dropkick puts Rose on the floor but the suicide dive is cut off, with Leyla being driven into the apron. Back in and Rose drops a knee for two, setting up a neck crank to send us to a break.

We come back with Leyla hitting a slingshot dropkick in the corner for two, setting up a release German suplex. A running knee rocks Rose again and a rope walk moonsault (with barely a cover) gets two. Leyla can’t suplex her, with Rose draping her over the top instead. The top rope knee drop is broken up though and Leyla goes up, only to get super Beast Bombed back down to give Rose the pin at 8:45.

Rating: C. They made a bit of a go with it here, though I’m not sure how much I could buy Rose being in danger here. What worked was having Leyla show off with some power and technique, which really do make her look legit. Rose is on her way to another title shot (because of course) and a win over someone with some credibility will help her get there.

Britt Baker doesn’t like Nyla Rose making fun of Leyla Hirsch’s height but let’s get back to her. Baker has endorsement deals flying in left and right, which was never the case when Rose was champion. That’s cool with Baker though, because she’ll add Rose to the list of jealous b****** in the back. Rose needs the title because it makes her, but Baker is making the title.

Here is what’s coming next week.

Hangman Page/10 vs. Brian Cage/Powerhouse Hobbs

Page, who has lost all sense of time, gets driven into the corner to start so Cage can drive shoulders into the corner. Some forearms get Page out of trouble for a bit but his sliding lariat is countered. Cage misses a basement dropkick though and Page hits a standing shooting star press for two. 10 comes in but walks into an assisted powerbomb from Hobbs, who starts getting a bit cocky. A running knee to the ribs drops 10 and we take a break.

Back with 10 hitting a pump kick each to Hobbs and Cage, allowing Page to come in for a running boot to Cage. They head outside with Page posting Cage, setting up a moonsault press for two on Hobbs. A crossbody gives Hobbs two on Page but Cage is back in with a 619 to knock 10 silly.

Page is back in with a springboard shot to Cage’s face and 10 busts Hobbs spine. Cage comes back with a running clothesline in the corner and a sloppy high/low gets two on 10. Ricky Starks throws Cage the FTW Title but Cage throws it away, earning a slap from Starks. Cage chases Starks off so Hobbs buts a spinebuster for two on 10. A ripcord cutter drops Hobbs though and the Buckshot Lariat is enough to give Page the pin at 10:18.

Rating: C+. There was a lot going on here, with the continuing split of Team Taz being the biggest story. Cage vs. Starks will be good, though they are going to have to stretch things out a lot due to Starks’ injury. Hobbs vs. Cage will do for the time being though, assuming that is the way they go. At the same time, it is a good sign to see Page being treated as a big deal again, as he should have been for a long time now.

The Dark Order comes out to celebrate with some beers to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was another week where they kind of took the night off, but it wasn’t as bad as last time. Right now they are building towards the June 26 show with the World Title match, though I’m not sure what else is going to be seen as a big deal on that show. This was a completely watchable show with some good action, as they got me to care about matches that weren’t all that interesting in the first place. Nice job here, though it’s another skippable show.

Results
Christian Cage b. Angelico – Killswitch
Pac/Penta El Zero Miedo/Eddie Kingston b. Brandon Cutler/Young Bucks – Spinning backfist to Cutler
Miro b. Evil Uno – Game Archer
Lance Archer b. Chandler Hopkins – Blackout
Nyla Rose b. Leyla Hirsch – Super Beast Bomb
10/Hangman Page b. Brian Cage/Powerhouse Hobbs – Buckshot Lariat to Hobbs

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Double Or Nothing 2021
Date: May 30, 2021
Location: Daily’s Place, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross, Excalibur

We return to pay per view and that is a nice feeling to have. The card is absolutely stacked and one of the biggest that AEW has had in recent or even long term memory. Possibly the most important story here is the fact that the fans are back in full capacity, meaning it will be even more energized than usual. Let’s get to it.

Buy-In Show: NWA Women’s Title: Riho vs. Serena Deeb

Deeb is defending and cranks on a headlock to start. That doesn’t last long as Riho bridges up and offers a handshake. Deeb slaps her in the face instead so Riho knocks her into the corner, setting up a high crossbody. Back up and the Serenity Lock is blocked so Deeb dragon screw legwhips her into the corner. The leg cranking begins before Deeb is sent out to the apron.

Riho charges into a choke, setting up an inverted Gory Special for a pretty cool visual. With that broken up, Riho knocks her off the top to set up a top rope double stomp. The leg is too banged up to cover so Riho grabs a headscissors into a 619 for two. Riho drapes her over the middle rope but the top rope stomp only hits apron.

Deeb is right back with a powerbomb for two but the Deebtox is countered with a backdrop. Riho snaps off a dragon suplex and hits another double stomp for two. A half crab has Riho in more trouble but she makes the rope. That’s enough for Deeb, who snaps off another dragon screw legwhip and grabs the Serenity Lock for the tap to retain at 14:03.

Rating: B. This was a very high energy opener and, in case they weren’t fired up enough already, got the crowd even more into things. Deeb felt like she was tested here and that’s how a hot title defense should feel. Riho losing isn’t going to hurt her and it does a lot for Riho, so well done all around with a heck of a warm up match.

Jim Ross gets his big introduction.

Hangman Page vs. Brian Cage

Taz is on commentary and Cage has I believe Terminator inspired gear. Page charges right at him to start hammering away but gets shoved off with raw power. What looked like a powerbomb is broken up and Page slugs away again, with Cage bailing to the floor. This time Page is right there with a big dive but Cage powerbombs him into the post.

Back in and a jumping knee rocks Page again and there’s a hard whip into the corner. A crucifix bomb gets two on Page but he ducks a clothesline. Page Cactus Clotheslines him out to the floor and pops back up for a middle rope moonsault to hit Cage again. Back in and Page snaps off a top rope hurricanrana for two but a superbomb is blocked.

A discus forearm gets two on Cage but Deadeye is countered as well. Cage puts him in a fireman’s carry and flips him into a hot shot (with one arm, because of course), setting up a superplex onto the apron. Back in and Cage tries his own Buckshot Lariat but slips a bit, allowing Page to hit an F5. The real Buckshot is countered into a German suplex and a discus lariat blasts Page again. A helicopter bomb gives Cage two and here is Team Taz. Hook distracts the referee so Ricky Starks can slide in the FTW Title. Cage tosses it right back and the Buckshot Lariat finishes Cage at 12:07.

Rating: B. This was a white hot opener as you had two guys in there giving it everything they had for a long time. Page is starting to have his head back on straight and if they keep going with this version for him, he’ll be the kind of challenger who could give Kenny Omega a lot of trouble. Cage having issues with Team Taz is interesting too, as a face Cage looks like a total monster. The crowd helped elevate this one too and it was an outstanding way to open things up.

Post match an annoyed Cage walks away from Team Taz.

We run down the rest of the card.

We recap the Young Bucks vs. Jon Moxley/Eddie Kingston. The Bucks have sided with Kenny Omega so Kingston and Moxley have come after them. This includes breaking a bunch of the Bucks’ stuff and stealing their shoes so it’s time for a title match.

Tag Team Titles: Young Bucks vs. Jon Moxley/Eddie Kingston

Kingston/Moxley are challenging and we get the full Major League Wild Thing intro through the crowd. Don Callis is here with the champs and joins commentary as is his custom. Believe it or not, it’s a brawl to start and they fight into the crowd with the Bucks being sent into a variety of hard objects. Cue Brandon Cutler with the cold spray to Nick, earning himself a clothesline/German suplex combination.

Nick comes back in to jump Kingston and the opening bell rings. Kingston backdrops Nick and a double clothesline puts him down again. Moxley comes in so Matt yells, allowing Moxley to do the fake tag to another big reaction. Kingston STO’s Nick for two but a Matt distraction allows a poke to the eye. Matt dropkicks Moxley through the ropes and it’s a Cannonball/enziguri combination to Kingston. A double back elbow lets Nick do the Macho Man finger point but Kingston catches him in a hot shot.

Matt sends Moxley into the barricade and some running clotheslines have Kingston knocked into the corner. Ten right hands go down but Kingston is back with an exploder suplex. That’s enough for the hot tag off to Moxley and house is cleaned, including a piledriver for two on Nick. Nick has to break up a bulldog choke as everything breaks down again. Cue the Good Brothers but Kingston takes down Doc Gallows and Frankie Kazarian jumps Karl Anderson.

Matt uses the distraction to take down Moxley with a can of cold spray to the head for two. Moxley is busted open and an Indytaker on the ramp knocks him silly again. Back in and Moxley gets kicked down as JR wants to know where the doctor is to look at the cut. The Bucks go Ax and Smash to demolish Moxley, who counters an attempt at a Shield powerbomb. Moxley hammers away and the hot tag brings in Kingston to clean house. Nick’s right hands to Kingston just make him glare back and knock him down without much trouble.

A shot to the knee works a bit better on Kingston and an assisted Sliced Bread gets two. Kingston fights over and makes the hot tag to Moxley, who is immediately superkicked down. A 450 gets two but Kingston is back in with one of the Bucks’ expensive shoes. The referee yells at Matt and it’s a Doomsday Device to Nick. The Paradigm Shift to Matt is countered into a Sharpshooter but that’s broken up as well.

Now the Paradigm Shift can connect with Nick making another diving save. Another double superkick to Moxley sends him into the ropes but he comes back with the double clothesline. The double superkick connects for two and a pair of superkicks (one to the knee and one to the face) drops Kingston. Back to back to back to back BTE Triggers drop Moxley to retain the titles at 21:09.

Rating: B. The energy stayed high here and the Young Bucks got to do their video game/all of the other wrestlers’ spots. That does work well now that they are full on heels, as you do want to see them get their heads knocked off. I’m not sure if I should be surprised by the result, but this very well might mean every champion on the roster is a villain, which is a little weird to see. Anyway, another awesome match to keep up the trend tonight.

Commentary goes over some substitutes in the Casino Battle Royal (QT Marshall/Blade out, Aaron Solow/Serpentico in) due to injuries.

Paul Wight comes out for commentary.

Casino Battle Royal

There are 21 entrants with four groups of five (designated by suits). One group enters every three minutes and then the Joker completes the field, with the winner getting a future World Title match. First up are the Clubs, with Christian Cage, Matt Sydal, Powerhouse Hobbs, Dustin Rhodes and Max Caster (who raps about some of the Clubs, including saying Cage hasn’t been cool since he had an edge).

The eliminations are teased to start with Caster saving himself. Sydal is tossed and Caster follows him out until the Diamonds come in. That would be Isaiah Kassidy, Matt Hardy, 10, Nick Commorado and Serpentico, with Kassidy and Hardy failing to jump 10 during his entrance. 10 comes in and starts wrecking people, including tossing Serpentico. Commorado runs 10 over but can only get him to the apron, allowing Dustin to toss both of them at once.

Hold on though as Commorado hits Dustin with the cowbell so Hobbs can get the elimination. Christian hits the Killswitch on Hobbs and we get the Christian vs. Hardy showdown. Here are the Hearts (Brian Pillman Jr., Griff Garrison, Colt Cabana, Anthony Bowens and Penta El Zero Miedo) are in with the Varsity Blondes getting to go nuts for a bit to a nice reaction.

Penta gets to clean house and Kassidy gets rid of Cabana. The Blondes toss Bowens and Hardy punches Garrison out as well. Commentary tries to figure out if Hobbs is still in (he seems to be) as it’s kind of hard to keep track of where everyone is given that some of them are on the floor. Pillman gets a rather strong response until the Spades (Jungle Boy, Marq Quen, Aaron Solow, Evil Uno and Lee Johnson) with Boy getting the big musical entrance….and Penta takes him down in a hurry.

Private Party gets rid of Pillman (in a rather lame exit after the reaction) and Johnson eliminates Solow, only to get taken out by Hardy. Penta kicks Uno out but gets taken out by Boy as Hobbs and Christian get back in. Hobbs misses a charge at Christian in the corner and gets tossed for a big elimination. Matt and Private Party stare down Boy and Christian and start the beatdown until…..Lio Rush is the Joker. That gives us a final grouping of Lio Rush, Matt Hardy, Isaiah Kassidy, Marq Quen, Christian Cage and Jungle Boy.

Rush gets to clean house but the springboard Stunner doesn’t quite work on Hardy. Everyone but Rush is knocked down so he goes after Private Party, who fight off an elimination with the Silly String. Rush tries to break that up but gets eliminated by Hardy in the process. Boy and Christian get back up to eliminate Quen and Kassidy, leaving us with the two of them and Hardy.

Matt tries to team up with Christian and gets eliminated as well, meaning we’re down to two. Boy manages to get underneath Christian but can’t quite get him out. Instead Boy is sent to the apron but pulls Christian out with him. A pendulum kick rocks Christian but he shoves Boy into the post….which Boy swings around and gets back in to kick Christian out for the win at 22:32.

Rating: C. I didn’t see this one coming but well done on the surprise winner. Boy is someone who has seemed ready to break through for a good while so it was great to see him doing something like this. They pulled the trigger here and while I’m not exactly buying Boy’s chances in the title match, it was a smart move here. Not much in the way of a battle royal leading up to it as the grouped entrances are still a little weird, but the ending worked.

Post match the rest of Jurassic Express comes out to celebrate with Boy and Christian shows respect.

Some soldiers who train dogs for former soldiers are here for a nice presentation.

We get a rather over the top video on the wonders of America, including quotes from generals and Presidents about how great of a country it is.

Anthony Ogogo vs. Cody Rhodes

QT Marshall and Arn Anderson are here too. Cody has new gear and hands his American weightlifting belt to a fan. Ogogo doesn’t waste time in hitting the body shot and grabs an Olympic Slam for two. Cody is right back with the powerslam but the ribs give out on the landing. Some knees to Ogogo’s also injured ribs and Cody goes American (Dragon) with Cattle Mutilation.

That’s broken up and Ogogo snaps off a German suplex for two. A running uppercut gets the same and Marshall adds a cheap shot for another near fall. Ogogo misses a running elbow but is fine enough to nail a spinebuster. Cody gets in a kick to the face though and Ogogo’s eye is busted open.

The Cody Cutter connects but Ogogo punches him off the top for the crash. Ogogo hits a frog splash for a delayed two but Cody is right back with a dropkick. The Figure Four goes on so Ogogo punches him in the face for two (while still in the hold). Cross Rhodes is broken up and a pair of right hands knock Cody down, though his hand is under the rope. The pop up right hand is countered though and Cody hits a Vertebreaker for the pin at 10:32.

Rating: C. Ogogo over performed but Cody winning was about the only possible outcome. They weren’t going to build him up as the American Dream for one night only and then have him lose the showdown. The American vs. England deal was pretty ridiculous and while Ogogo winning would have been too far, he shouldn’t have lost either. At least Cody’s all American gear was so over the top that it was goofy fun.

TNT Title: Miro vs. Lance Archer

Archer is challenging and there is no Jake Roberts thanks to Miro taking him out earlier this weekend. Rather than waiting around, Archer dives onto Miro on the ramp and the beating is on in a hurry. Old School gets two on Miro and they head outside with Archer spinebustering him through a table. Miro is back up and suplexes him over the barricade onto some fans.

Another toss sends Archer back to ringside and they head back inside. A crossbody runs Miro over but he nails a spinwheel kick. Miro kicks him in the chest but Archer is back up to plant him down for two. Archer misses the moonsault though and Miro kicks him in the head for another near fall.

Cue Jake Roberts with the snake bag but Miro kicks him down as well…..and throws the snake bag out to the floor. Archer cuts off a superkick to Jake with a chokeslam for two but Everybody Dies is broken up. Miro gets Pounced to the floor, only to get in a kick to the ropes for the low blow on the way back in. The jumping superkick sets up Game Over to retain the title at 10:46.

Rating: B-. It was a hoss fight, but I was expecting a bit more from these two. They beat each other up rather well and while the result wasn’t quite in doubt, it was a fun match. Maybe it was a bit too much waiting between spots or the Roberts stuff, but it was just a bit lacking given the hype they had set up.

All Out is in Chicago on September 5.

Women’s Title: Britt Baker vs. Hikaru Shida

Baker, with Rebel, is challenging. A very early Lockjaw attempt doesn’t work but neither does Shida’s knee to the face. They go to the mat with Shida grabbing a bodyscissors but Baker is back up with a hammerlock. Shida sends her into the corner to take it outside, setting up a high crossbody to take out Baker and Rebel. Back in and the running knee is countered with a kick to the face an Shida is in trouble for a change.

Lockjaw is blocked again so Baker grabs a suplex for two. Shida is right back with a bunch of strikes, including three straight running knees in the corner. A suplex of her own gives Shida two and an enziguri rocks Baker again. Baker is right back with a fisherman’s neckbreaker for two but Shida grabs a Stretch Muffler to send her to the ropes. Back up and Baker hits a Sling Blade into an Air Raid Crash for two.

Lockjaw is loaded up again but Baker kicks herself off the rope, allowing Shida to escape. A German suplex drops Baker and Shida takes her up top for a fireman’s carry but Baker slips off in a weird looking landing. Instead, Shida hits a superplex for two and the Stretch Muffler goes on again.

Rebel jumps up to the apron for a distraction but accidentally hits Baker to give Shida two. The Falcon Arrow gives Shida two so Rebel gets on the apron again, this time allowing Baker to hit a superkick. A Stomp onto the belt gets a very close two but Shida is back with the jumping knee. The running knee gets two but Baker crucifixes her into Lockjaw for the tap and the title at 16:22.

Rating: B. They did something impressive here by making me believe that Shida might sneak away with the title despite there being no reason to think that would be the case. Baker’s win is long, long overdue and it is great to see her finally get the championship. The fans LOVED her here and it makes all the sense in the world to do the title change. There is a good chance she is going to be turned by crowd reaction alone, though I don’t know how beneficial that would be. Still though, heck of a back and forth match with the only possible ending.

Tony Schiavone leaves commentary to hug Baker in a great moment.

Sting/Darby Allin vs. Ethan Page/Scorpio Sky

Sting and Allin get a special entrance video featuring them driving through the desert. Sting: “It’s showtime.” It’s a brawl to start before the match with Sky and Sting fighting up to the stage. Sky plants Sting down but Sting pops back up to send Sky down to ringside. That means Sting can hit the big dive onto both villains (because of course he can do that) and they head inside for the bell.

Allin starts in on Sky’s arm but Page breaks up a springboard to put Allin in trouble for the first time. Sky hits a backbreaker so Allin cranks on the wrist, only to get knocked right back down. Allin manages to flip out of a belly to back suplex and makes the hot tag to Sting…but the referee doesn’t see it. With Allin still banged up, Page LAUNCHES him from the ring over the barricade and onto Allin’s family in the big crash. Somehow Allin dives in to beat the count at nine and a choke has Page in trouble. Page drives him into the corner for the break so Allin is right back with the flipping Stunner.

NOW the hot tag brings Sting back in and it’s back to back Stinger Splashes. Something like a Code Red out of the corner gets two on Page so it’s back to Allin, who gets crotched on top. Page slams Allin down onto Sting but Sting sweeps the legs and puts on the Scorpion. That doesn’t count because Sting isn’t legal so Allin adds the Fujiwara armbar. Sky grabs a heel hook on Allin, so he and Page slap it out while both are in holds.

With that broken up, the double tag brings in Sting and Sky, with JR pointing out the similar motifs. Sting gets fired up but misses the Stinger Splash (with Sky having already made it to the apron before he even jumped). Not that it matters as Sting counters the slingshot cutter into the Death Drop finishes Sky at 14:05.

Rating: C. I love Sting but this is the second match in a row where he has beaten a team with some potential. I’m not sure when Sting is going to take a loss, but having Sky and Page lose here didn’t feel right. The match wasn’t exactly great either, though Sting did look a heck of a lot better than he did in any of his WWE matches. It’s still amazing to see how much they botched Sting, but he had a much better outing here.

We recap the World Title match with Kenny Omega defending the World Title against Pac and Orange Cassidy. After Excalibur explains the winning multiple World Titles in wrestling is like winning Olympic medals in multiple sports, we look at Pac and Cassidy going to a draw to become co-#1 contenders. Omega has tried to get Cassidy out of the match but the triple threat is on.

AEW World Title: Kenny Omega vs. Pac vs. Orange Cassidy

Omega is defending and Don Callis is on commentary again. Pac starts fast and Cassidy is knocked outside. A kick to the head staggers Omega but they collide for a double knockdown. Cassidy comes back in for a pair of lazy near falls and a double hurricanrana sends Pac outside. There’s the suicide dive to knock Pac into the barricade, setting up the springboard DDT for two on Omega.

The Orange Punch is broken up but Pac is back up to take Omega down. Pac shotgun dropkicks Cassidy into the corner and there’s another one to Omega. With Pac flipping back up, Omega catches him with the Regal Roll and knocks Cassidy off the corner as well. Omega sends Pac outside and hits a backbreaker for two on Cassidy. Pac starts fighting back but gets pulled to the floor, leaving Omega to baseball slide both of them.

A running flip dive puts Pac and Cassidy down again but Cassidy is back with the Stundog Millionaire. Cassidy and Omega go to a pinfall reversal sequence until Pac comes in with a 450 to break things up. Back to back snapdragons put the challengers down and it’s time for the V Triggers. Pac blocks another snapdragon so Omega hits a hard clothesline to cut him off again. Cassidy has to fight his way out of a super snapdragon and puts his hands in his pockets to save himself.

Pac is up for a German superplex to Omega but falls out to the floor. Omega hits a Tiger Driver 98 for two on Cassidy, followed by a German suplex for two on Pac. Some knees to the face rock Cassidy, who puts his hands in his pockets….and then falls down. Back up and Cassidy hits a Michinoku Driver on Omega but walks into a brainbuster to give Pac two. Omega catches Pac on top but gets countered into a sunset bomb. Pac’s superplex drops Omega again with Cassidy running in for the near fall.

Cassidy starts the slow motion kicks on Pac, who kicks him low. There’s the big dive onto Omega and the Black Arrow connects on Pac, with Omega having to dive in for a save (Callis going silent save for sighs of relief is a great addition). Another Black Arrow misses Omega but the One Winged Angle is countered into the Brutalizer. The Orange Punch hits Pac for the save and the Beach Break gets two on Omega.

Cassidy hits an Orange Punch each (Callis: “S***!”) and there’s a second to Pac, but Callis pulls the referee at two. Pac gets the Brutalizer on Cassidy but Omega knocks the referee down, setting up a pair of belt shots (with a different belt each). There’s a third belt shot but Omega wants the AEW World Title to knock Pac out again. Cassidy runs back in with the Orange Punch to Omega for two with a different referee counting…but Omega reverses into a crucifix to pin Cassidy and retain at 27:10.

Rating: B. They managed to make me believe in a title change that wasn’t going to happen here (that Black Arrow had me thinking something might happen). That is rather impressive given how one sided this should have been, though the match did go longer than it needed to go. They probably could have cut 5-10 minutes out and had a tighter match, but this was much more entertaining than I was expecting.

Full Gear is November 6 in St. Louis.

Tony Schiavone brings out the newest AEW analyst for Rampage: Mark Henry! That’s quite the surprise, though we won’t be hearing from him until Friday.

Inner Circle vs. Pinnacle

Stadium Stampede (no fans), Inner Circle has to split up if they lose and Pinnacle (or at leas MJF) arriving via stretch limousine. MJF rants about Inner Circle not being here due to fear…..and they repel down the video screen (you can almost see MJF gulp). The chase is on with MJF hiding in the limo as the rest of the Pinnacle arrives in FTR’s truck to start the fight. Sammy Guevara and Shawn Spears fight into the ring, with Sammy hitting a springboard cutter. After kicking Wardlow down, Sammy misses a shooting star press.

MJF finally gets out of the limo but Chris Jericho is waiting on him. The slugout it on but MJF sprays him with a well hidden fire extinguisher before running off the field. Jericho follows him to keep up the beating, including putting a trashcan on MJF’s head. MJF throws coffee into his eyes and hits him with a phone but Jericho screams at him with a bullhorn. Said bullhorn is tossed at MJF and hits him in the back of the head, which thankfully doesn’t do a lot of damage.

They fight into an office….where Jacksonville Jaguars head coach Urban Meyer and assistant coach Charlie Strong are working on plays. Jericho throws some footballs at MJF and then throws him out, with Meyer saying “holy s***”. MJF FINALLY gets smart by going after the really big brace on Jericho’s arm, including flipping a white board into it.

We actually cut to someone else, as Wardlow powers Jake Hager around but can’t lock him in a freezer. They fight into it instead (with a cut up pig hanging from the ceiling) and Wardlow grabs an icicle. That doesn’t last long and they head back into what looks like a storage area, with Hager being sent into a rolling steel cabinet. Hager flips him off so Wardlow spears him through a wall and into a kitchen.

We cut to Sammy Guevara searching for Shawn Spears and finding him sitting in a chair (with hundreds of chairs in storage around him). The chair duel is on before heading back into a hallway. Sammy runs up a wall and backflips to his feet, setting up a kick to Spears’ head. Spears launches Guevara into a steel door though and grabs a chair. That takes way too long though and Sammy hits a running knee.

Spears sends him into a scissor lift and grabs a cable, only to get choked by Sammy’s cable. Sammy climbs up onto some scaffolding but has to drop back down, allowing Spears to hit him in the face with a ladder. With Sammy down, Spears handcuffs him to the structure and says Sammy is done.

Sammy sees some bolt cutters but we cut to a bar where Santana/Ortiz find FTR/Tully Blanchard. Some drinks are shared but DJ Konnan plays some music to start the fighting. Konnan hands Santana something to hit FTR with and we actually get a near fall on Dax Harwood. Cash Wheeler throws beer bottles at Ortiz but Santana comes back up and they fight into an elevator.

With the door closed, we cut back to Wardlow almost dropping a wooden pallet onto Hager. They fight on top of a golf cart and Hager chokeslams him through something made of wood. It’s back to MJF vs. Jericho, with MJF accidentally punching a cutout of Shad Khan (Tony’s dad). Jericho says he is in so much trouble and then hits him with the cutout. After rubbing off cardboard Khan’s head it’s time to go into a conference room, where Jericho staples a Jaguars paper to MJF’s head.

Then he rips it off and throws MJF over the conference table, where MJF hits him in the face. A piledriver onto the table gets two and MJF grabs a hammer. Jericho hits him with a trashcan though….and finds a well placed Floyd the Baseball Bat. After some choking, Jericho sends him face first through a glass window. MJF is busted open (Tony: “Good!”) and we cut to Spears looking for Tully Blanchard. Instead he finds the Inner Circle motorcycle club, who chase him down a hall.

Back to Jericho dragging MJF into Daily’s Place, with MJF getting crotched on a handrail. Jericho powerbombs him through a table (Tony: “DO IT AGAIN!”) and we cut to Spears running outside….where Sammy chases him down with a golf cart. The cart drives Spears into the arena and they head into the ring. Spears chairs him out of the air to break up a springboard and a hard chair shot gets two. The chair is wedged into the corner but Guevara comes back with the GTH. Sammy kicks Spears head first into a chair and it’s the 630 to give Sammy the pin at 32:26.

Rating: B+. They completely got me with the result as I would not have bet on Inner Circle winning whatsoever. Sammy getting the win was absolutely the right call as you can do Jericho vs. MJF in a singles match at some point in the future. Guevara is one of the true bright stars waiting to break out and it makes all the sense in the world to give him the big moment.

That being said, I liked last year’s version a good bit more, as this felt like a series of segments rather than one match going on. It was like a bunch of stuff loosely tied together under the same title, with some people just disappearing for 10+ minutes at a time (Santana/Ortiz/FTR were only involved for about five minutes total). They really needed to organize this better and it would have been a much more entertaining deal.

The biggest thing I can give this though is that it is creative. One of the places where AEW really shines is thinking outside of the box and that is what they did here. Stuff like the cameos were great for surprise moments and it felt like they used the atmosphere to their advantage. It isn’t as good as the original, but this felt big and the ending actually shocked me so they did a lot right.

The Inner Circle celebrates for a long time to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. This felt like an AEW pay per view as there is nothing close to bad on the whole show and some stuff on here is very good. The atmosphere helped it a lot, though you could feel some of the energy going away as the night went on (fair enough). It’s another great show and while they could have trimmed a bit here or there, it is probably the show of the year so far. AEW continues to be nearly perfect at these things and it more than lived up to my expectations.

Results

Hangman Page b. Brian Cage – Buckshot Lariat

Young Bucks b. Jon Moxley/Eddie Kingston – BTE Trigger to Moxley

Jungle Boy won the Casino Battle Royal last eliminating Christian Cage

Cody Rhodes b. Anthony Ogogo – Vertebreaker

Miro b. Lance Archer – Game Over

Britt Baker b. Hikaru Shida – Lockjaw

Sting/Darby Allin b. Ethan Page/Scorpio Sky – Death Drop to Sky

Kenny Omega b. Orange Cassidy and Pac – Crucifix to Cassidy

Inner Circle b. Pinnacle – 630 to Spears

 

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Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Smackdown
Date: December 22, 2006
Location: Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We are done with Armageddon and pretty much a grand total of nothing happened. The main event saw John Cena joining forces with Batista to beat King Booker and Finlay. Other than that, Kane and Undertaker beat up MVP and Mr. Kennedy to presumably end both of those feuds. That means we have about a month to get to the Royal Rumble so let’s get to it.

Here is Armageddon if you need a recap.

King Booker, Queen Sharmell and Finlay are in Teddy Long’s office and demanding a rematch with Batista and John Cena. That isn’t happening, but they can have Kane and Undertaker instead. This does not go well.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Batista to get things going. He wishes us a Happy Holidays and even has red trunks on in celebration. It was a good ending to the year and he is going to start the new year even better, because he is World Heavyweight Champion. Cue Santa Claus (JBL: “I don’t need presents. I’m rich.”) with some presents, including a shirt and Roddy Piper DVD for Cole. Batista gets some candy canes, which he throws into the crowd, but Santa hits him in his bad arm with a pipe. Cue Teddy Long and the match is on.

Santa Claus vs. Batista

Santa charges in and goes after the arm, including slamming it into the apron. Batista uses the good arm to hit a clothesline and spear, which reveals that it’s Sylvan as Santa. The spinebuster and Batista Bomb finish Santa in a hurry. This was harmless Christmas fun.

We look at Chris Benoit retaining the US Title over Chavo Guerrero at Armageddon.

Tribute to the Troops video.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo is defending and has Vickie Guerrero with him. The fans are all over Chavo as he pounds away in the corner to start. That earns him a hard whip into another corner and the snap suplex gives Benoit two. Back up and Chavo gets in some forearms, setting up a whip into the corner of his own. A small package gives Benoit two and there’s the first German suplex. Another is blocked though and they fall outside as we take a break.

Back with Chavo holding a waistlock until Benoit belly to back suplexes his way to freedom. An over the shoulder backbreaker gives Chavo two but he has to break out of a quick Sharpshooter attempt. Benoit tries it again but gets kicked away again, allowing Chavo to hit a running knee to the ribs. Some chops have Chavo staggered though and there are the rolling German suplexes. The Swan Dive gets two and the Crossface goes on, drawing in Vickie with the title for the DQ.

Rating: C. I’m not quite sure why we needed a rematch here but the ending might set them up for another rematch. I don’t think the feud has that kind of legs, though that has never stopped WWE before. Maybe they have some kind of twist coming for it later, but for now, this is losing steam in a hurry.

Post match Benoit stares Vickie down but walks away without going near her. Chavo yells at Vickie and knocks her down himself. Benoit comes back in to check on Vickie and gets jumped by Chavo.

King Booker is worried about the tag match tonight but Finlay says they can do this. That’s enough to convince Booker.

Here is Gregory Helms for a chat. Helms says he is ready to move up to the heavyweight division because he needs some competition….and here is Boogeyman to interrupt. Helms’ shots to the back do nothing so he runs away from the threat of worms. Ring announcer Tony Chimmel says Boogeyman’s catchphrase for no logical reason and gets wormed instead.

Here is Joey Mercury, whose face looks horrible after Sunday’s ladder match, for a chat. Mercury talks about his injuries and we see what happened, which is even worse in slow motion. He holds the Hardys responsible for what happened because he has lost 50% of the vision in his left eye. His movie star good looks are gone and it might be forever!

Cue Matt Hardy, to say no one meant for this to happen. It was a ladder match for the Tag Team Titles and that’s a dangerous place to be. Any of them could have been hurt and that is the price you could pay, but nothing was intentional. Matt goes to leave but Mercury doesn’t like Matt saying it was “unfortunate”. The challenge is on but Matt isn’t going to fight someone as banged up as Mercury is right now. That’s fine with Mercury, because Matt can fight this guy.

Matt Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

Melina is here with Nitro, who jumps Matt before the bell. The beating is on in a hurry with Matt falling out to the floor, where Nitro stays on him in a hurry. Back in and Matt hits a bulldog for two but Nitro is back with some right hands to the face. Nitro grabs a ladder from underneath the ring (this can’t end well) and we take a break.

Back with Hardy knocking him down and they get a quick breather (and the ladder nowhere in sight). It’s Hardy getting back up first but Melina grabs his foot, allowing Nitro to hit an enziguri out to the floor. The springboard kick to the face misses though and they’re both down again. Some knees and a kick to the face give Hardy two and a neckbreaker sets up the middle rope legdrop for two. Nitro comes right back with a backslide and throws his feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C. Perfectly logical match here, though I’m not sure how much vindication there is for Mercury to have Nitro win with a backslide. The ladder part was kind of weird as it just came and went with nothing changing. There are a few ways they could go with this, but until Mercury is back healthy, it is going to be Nitro on his own, assuming he doesn’t get a new partner. Mercury’s face alone gives it some interest though and that’s a good thing.

Here is JBL in the ring for a chat. He isn’t happy with Teddy Long bringing back all these horrible matches, including the Inferno match. On Sunday, we saw a man burning (with JBL referring to MVP as a corpse) and he had to be put out. That is Long’s doing so JBL wants him out here right now for an apology.

Long doesn’t show up, so JBL blames the fans, going into a rant about how they keep demanding more, no matter what happens to the wrestlers. Rome did not fall because of the gladiators but because of the sick people in the stands. No one will pay to see them though, and they might even bring down America. JBL can sell something like this, though this feels like it is going to be the start of something long.

Ashley/Layla vs. Krystal/Jillian Hall

Ashley slams Krystal down to start as we hear about Ashley’s Playboy short. JBL complains about the lack of closeups of Layla as Jillian knees her down and sends her head first into the mat a few times. Jillian’s handspring elbow hits raised boots in the corner and it’s off to Ashley to clean house. Everything breaks down and Krystal breaks up a monkey flip out of the corner. Layla breaks up a monkey flip though and Ashley drops a middle rope elbow for the pin.

Rating: D. You can only get so annoyed at four women who were given the bare minimum of training and then sent out there on national TV. As usual, this was about getting the good looking women in revealing outfits in the ring so you can only get so mad at the whole thing. Bad match of course, but were you expecting anything else?

Vladimir Kozlov is very excited and shouts in Russian a lot.

King Booker/Finlay vs. Kane/Undertaker

Queen Sharmell is here with Booker/Finlay. Booker ducks a clothesline from Undertaker to start but the stalking is on in a hurry. Undertaker hammers him down in the corner and lifts Booker up by one arm. Old School connects with Booker but he breaks up the same thing to Finlay. A top rope superplex brings Undertaker back down for two and it’s off to Finlay for….actually for a kind of intriguing match.

Undertaker catches him with a running DDT and Kane comes in to clean house. Uppercuts abound and the side slam gets two on Booker. The threat of double chokeslams send the villains outside and us to a break. Back with Kane choking Booker in the corner, allowing Undertaker to add the apron legdrop. Finlay breaks up a cover but Kane is fine enough to drag Booker into the corner to keep up the beating. Booker gets in a shot to the face and brings Finlay back in, where he walks into Snake Eyes.

The big boot drops Finlay again but Booker low bridges Undertaker to the floor. Apparently Kane got a tag in there somewhere (Cole is confused as well) and Booker dropkicks him out of the air. Finlay drops Undertaker on the floor and goes inside for a chinlock. Booker takes Finlay’s place and chairs Undertaker down, with the distraction allowing Finlay to hit Kane with the shillelagh. Kane kicks Booker down though and somehow Undertaker is back up to get the hot tag. House is cleaned in a hurry and the Tombstone (Cole: “This may make Finlay think he’s an Englishman!”) finishes Finlay.

Rating: C-. Not awful here, but it was pretty clear that they wanted to get done with this and take their Christmas vacation. It isn’t like losing to Undertaker and Kane is going to hurt Booker and Finlay, the latter of whom more or less exists for the sake of taking losses. Booker is already falling down the Smackdown depth chart, but I’m curious to see where all four of them go from here.

Overall Rating: C-. This was far from a serious show, but it was hardly some disaster. They dealt with some fallout from the pay per view and did just enough to make it feel like a regular TV show. Nothing was too horrible and odds are next week is a Best Of show anyway, meaning it’s off to 2007 from here.

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: December 15, 2006
Location: TD Banknorth Garden Arena, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for Armageddon and that isn’t exactly giving me hope for this week. The big story this week is Undertaker and Kane vs. MVP/Mr. Kennedy as the two long running feuds merge into one for a change. The rest of the show might not be all that great, but that has never stopped Smackdown before. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Raw’s John Cena to get things going. Cena knows that the question on everyone’s mind is where is Parts Unknown, but they also might be wondering why he is here on Smackdown. He does know that, and it’s because of three reasons. First of all, he lives here, which is why his father is ringside. After a hug to his dad, Cena says there was no way he was going to miss a show here.

It’s Christmas time though and WWE runs a Secret Santa game with its employees. This time around, Cena got Michael Cole, and managed to get him everything he wanted: a salami, a shirtless picture of David Hasselhoff, and a bag of salty nuts. With that gag out of the way, Cena talks about Armageddon (which is his favorite Def Leppard song) and how important the tag team match is going to be.

Cue King Booker and Finlay, who promise to give Cena the same beating they gave to Batista last week. Cena is ready to fight but here is a taped up Batista for the save. Cue Teddy Long to make it a singles match playa, with Cena vs. Finlay set for later, which thankfully means we don’t have another Booker vs. Batista match.

William Regal/Dave Taylor/Gregory Helms vs. Brian Kendrick/Paul London/Jimmy Want Yang

Take two title feuds, throw them into one match. London and Helms start things off with London cranking on an armbar. Kendrick comes in for a front facelock but Regal gets in a cheap shot from behind to take over. Taylor adds a suplex as commentary talks Ashley being more than friendly with London and Kendrick.

It’s off to Regal for some knees and a chinlock, followed by the suplex into the corner. An uppercut knocks Kendrick down again and Helms comes back in for a front facelock. A missed charge lets Kendrick kick Taylor in the head though and the hot tag brings in Yang to clean house. Regal and Taylor have had enough and walk out, leaving Yang to hit a moonsault press for the pin on Helms.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have the time to do much with so many people involved but they did a basic story well enough. Kendrick takes a good beating and it was smart to let Yang get the pin over Helms to suggest even the possibility of a title change. Of course that is pretty much guaranteed to not happen, but it’s a nice way to go here.

Clip from the Armageddon press conference, the high point of many a journalist’s resume.

Matt Hardy vs. Joey Mercury

No seconds here, which is kind of weird to see. Commentary immediately ignores the match to talk about Tribute to the Troops on Christmas night as Mercury takes Hardy into the corner to start. That is broken up in a hurry but Mercury hammers away against the ropes, being a bit more aggressive than usual here. Mercury knocks him down and grabs a chinlock, followed by a neckbreaker for no cover. A knockoff screaming elbow gets two on Hardy, who fights up at the idea of gimmick infringement. Hardy hits a clothesline of his own into the real screaming middle rope elbow and the Twist of Fate finishes Mercury.

Rating: C. I’m not sure how to process the idea of a clean match like this one but it worked out fine. Hardy is the bigger name here and it isn’t like anyone cares about Mercury as a singles wrestler in the first place. That being said, since there isn’t a match set for either of the teams or their individual members, this was a bit of a strange use of Smackdown time.

Video on the history of the Inferno match.

MVP tells his agent to get him out of the Inferno match but here is Mr. Kennedy to interrupt. The argument is on, with the two of them explaining the idea of their matches on Sunday.

MVP/Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker/Kane

MVP gets scared by the fire during his own entrance, which I’m not sure I remember being there before. Kennedy slowly opens the door of the hearse in the aisle and finds nothing, which doesn’t mean much around here. Joined in progress with Kane stomping Kennedy into the corner and then lifting him into the air for the choking. A rake to the eyes allows for the tag off to MVP, who is side slammed down in a hurry. The top rope clothesline makes it even worse and Undertaker comes in to unload in the corner.

Kennedy finally does something worthwhile by offering a distraction to break up Old School and Undertaker gets stomped down for a change. Undertaker is right back with right hands to MVP in the corner though and now Old School connects. Kane tags himself in and the brothers hit some big boots. The double chokeslam plants Kennedy but MVP saves him from the Tombstone. Undertaker stalks MVP to the back as Kennedy and Kane fight on the floor for the double countout.

Rating: C-. This was the teaser trailer for Sunday and that’s all it needed to be. We’ve seen these four fight in various combinations for weeks now and there isn’t much left to do than have the big blowoff matches at the pay per view. I’m glad they didn’t waste time on a long match before the ending either, so while this might not have been very good, it was at least efficient.

Post match Kennedy sends Kane into the steps and gets in the hearse. Kennedy revs the engine but the lights go out, allowing Undertaker to appear in the driver’s seat. That sends Kennedy and MVP running….right into Kane as he sits up for a pretty funny moment. The villains run off in a hurry.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Funaki

Vickie Guerrero is here with Chavo and Funaki gets the jobber’s entrance, likely because he is a jobber. Before the match, Chavo calls out Chris Benoit to apologize for hurting Vickie. Benoit comes out (looking odd in a suit) and says he isn’t apologizing for anything so Chavo beats on Funaki to vent some frustration. A pair of belly to back suplexes have Funaki in trouble and, after shrugging off a few kicks, Chavo plants him with the brainbuster. The frog splash finishes Funaki in a hurry.

Post match Benoit comes in and puts Chavo in the Sharpshooter. Vickie comes in and gets in Benoit’s face, causing him to get up and Vickie to curl up into a screaming ball without being touched.

Video on Tribute to the Troops, set to a Creed song.

Vito vs. Sylvan

Merry freaking Christmas. Cole talks about Vito trying to force himself on him and I think we might need to hear more about that. Vito hammers away to start but gets backdropped to the apron and clotheslined out to the floor. JBL’s jokes continue to abound as Vito makes the comeback, pulls up the dress (thankfully revealing trunks instead of the thong), and drops a leg for two. Vito walks into a Samoan drop but pops up for an O’Connor roll to finish Sylvan.

Rating: D. This was back to the old stuff for Vito, which wasn’t funny in the first place and wasn’t exactly good here either. It is pretty clear that the hype he had is gone, but at least they kept it short. JBL’s jokes and the whole idea have not exactly aged well, but it isn’t like Vito is being treated as a big deal in the first place.

Armageddon rundown.

Here are the Miz and Kristal to prove that Miz is not afraid of Boogeyman. Tonight, he is going to eat some scary foods to show just how fearless he really is. First up, Miz eats some pig’s tongue, followed by monkey brains….but he can’t eat the worms on plate three. Then Boogeyman pops up through the plate to scare them off.

Finlay vs. John Cena

Non-title. Finlay grabs a quick headlock and then runs Cena over with a shoulder. That’s enough to start Cena back up and he runs Finlay down, followed by an elbow. Finlay is right back with a clothesline into a nerve hold, followed by a rip to the face. Cena fights up with a belly to belly for two, only to have Finlay run him over again and send Cena face first into the apron.

As commentary talks about Vince McMahon being the first Irish champion, the Leprechaun pops out and is promptly thrown at JBL. Finlay decks Cena and puts the Leprechaun back underneath the ring as we take a break. Back with Finlay hitting another running clothesline and sitting on Cena’s chest for two. Finlay’s armbar keeps Cena down for a bit and he pulls Cena down into the Fujiwara version to make it even worse.

Back up and Cena wins a strike out but Finlay rakes the eyes to escape the FU. Cena doesn’t seem to mind and hits the ProtoBomb into the Shuffle but Finlay goes back to the bad arm. The Celtic Cross gets two so here’s the Leprechaun again, allowing Finlay to grab a chair. Cena kicks that back into his face though and it’s the FU for the pin.

Rating: B-. Finlay continues his series of good jobs as the upper midcard brawler that bigger stars have a bit of trouble beating. That is a fine spot to be in as Finlay is tough enough to make the matches work without feeling like a threat to jump up to the next level. Good main event here, and it’s rather nice to see the hometown boy get to have a big win for a change. And they even tossed around a leprechaun!

Post match here’s Booker to double team Cena but Batista makes the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Your taste may vary here as they did a nice enough job building up the pay per view, but the pay per view isn’t that interesting in the first place. It is very clear that the show is going to be built around the two gimmick matches with the main event tag match being thrown in to have a main event level match. This show wasn’t too bad, but it isn’t something you need to see, much like Sunday’s show.

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Smackdown
Date: November 17, 2006
Location: Manchester Evening News Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re over in England here too and that means it is time to continue pumping up the build to Survivor Series. We know most of the card, including the World Title match with King Booker defending against Batista. Odds are that gets built up this week, as it always needs to be. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Boogeyman vs. The Miz/Kristal

Miz and Kristal don’t get an entrance and Kristal was added to this by Teddy Long. Boogeyman chokes Miz down to start so Kristal jumps on his back. Miz gets in a few cheap shots and a clothesline but Boogeyman is back up, complete with worms to Miz’s face. Kristal gets wormed and screams a lot….as the match just ends.

Queen Sharmell shouts King Booker’s praises when Finlay comes in. Finlay and Booker are teaming together tonight and agree that Booker should beat up Batista while Finlay deals with Bobby Lashley. That’s quite the big tag match.

We see a video on Rey Mysterio’s knee surgery following his torn PCL and ACL.

Tatanka vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title. Benoit chops away in the corner to start but Tatanka gets in a thumb to the eye. Forearms to the back set up a quick chinlock as things slow down a bit. Tatanka cuts off a comeback and knocks Benoit outside for a whip into the steps. Back in and a hard whip into the corner puts Benoit down again but he grabs the legs for a fast but failed Sharpshooter attempt. As JBL explains that Bret Hart got the Sharpshooter from Bret Hart, Tatanka gets a Boston crab to send Benoit over to the ropes. The rolling German suplexes rock Tatanka and the Sharpshooter makes Tatanka tap.

Rating: C-. Another riveting performance from Tatanka here as the new version continues to be somehow even lamer than the old one. There is nothing to him and the sooner WWE realizes this, the better everyone will be. Benoit is going into the showdown with Chavo so he needed something to get him warm, but egads was there no one better than Tatanka? Maybe an angry wombat or something?

Post match Chavo Guerrero comes in and beats Benoit down. A chair shot to the knee has Benoit screaming as Chavo shouts about Benoit not being a Guerrero. He wants Benoit to stay out of their business.

Teddy Long talks to Kane about his street fight with MVP and plugs the See No Evil DVD. Kane doesn’t actually say anything.

We look back at Mr. Kennedy attacking Undertaker and busting him open to set up their First Blood match at Survivor Series.

Here is Mr. Kennedy for a chat. He dubs himself the savior of wrestling and talks about everything he has done so far. Just like Undertaker, he has broken new ground in wrestling but now Undertaker has been surpassed. Just look at the proof, with this bloody microphone. This year at Survivor Series, the fifteen years of destruction will end.

William Regal vs. Paul London

Brian Kendrick and Ashley are here too and Regal gets one of the biggest pops of his career. Regal grabs an armbar to start and London can’t even headscissor his way to freedom. Instead Regal sends him into the corner and heads outside for a running boot to the head against the post.

Back in and Regal fires off some knees to the head, followed by a flip over half nelson suplex. Some more knees to the head and a legdrop to the back of said head give Regal two. London fights out of a double arm crank and starts the comeback but a missed dive takes Ashley out by mistake. London is distraught and Regal hits a running knee for the pin.

Rating: C. In addition to the fans loving everything Regal did, this was one of the more intense beatings you will see around here. Regal looked vicious and took London apart to instantly give us new challengers for the titles. The division has needed some fresh blood and if it happens to be two old British guys, so be it.

We look at Bobby Lashley debuting on ECW and entering the Extreme Elimination Chamber.

Teddy Long is happy with Lashley and thanks him for everything. The door is always open if he wants to come back. How nice of a boss losing a main event star to ECW.

Wrestlemania tickets are on sale.

Kane vs. MVP

Street fight. MVP grabs a chair to start but Kane kicks it out of his hands. They head to the floor with the beatdown being on in a hurry. Kane sends him into the barricade near the stage and then face first into the big red phone booth. Somehow MVP knocks him into the booth so Kane blasts his way out with the door taking MVP down. To even things up a bit, Kane puts him in the booth and turns it over so the beating can head back to ringside.

The slightly busted open MVP is sent into the announcers’ table and then JBL and finally the post to complete the trio. Kane drops him face first onto the steps but MVP comes back with a DDT onto the chair for two back inside. We take a break and come back with MVP hitting a running big boot in the corner. The bell to the face drops Kane for no cover so he gets back up and hammers away, including the side slam. Kane connects with the top rope clothesline so here is Mr. Kennedy to help MVP hit him in the face with the steps for the pin.

Rating: C+. There is something fun about watching Kane wreck people and it was on full display here. The important thing here though was MVP picked up the win and didn’t even have to cheat to do so. They did their thing and MVP took a nice beating, so this did its job on both ends. Now go somewhere with MVP and Kennedy.

Post match the Undertaker comes in to clear the ring. Kennedy sends MVP back in though and the double chokeslam leaves him laying.

Gregory Helms vs. Matt Hardy

Non-title and yes, we’re doing this AGAIN. Helms starts fast by jumping Hardy during the entrances and chokes with the boot. A stomp to the ribs keeps Hardy down as commentary again tries to make this feel like some epic rivalry. The front facelock doesn’t last long on Matt as the comeback is on with a clothesline, followed by the corner clothesline into a bulldog. Helms grabs a rollup out of the corner but the referee catches him with his feet on the ropes. The Twist of Fate is countered into a neckbreaker for two and it’s time to argue with the referee. The delay lets Hardy grab the Twist of Fate for the pin.

Rating: C. The matches tend to be fine but they stopped meaning anything weeks ago. Their pay per view match a few weeks back was very good but the three minute version with part of that going to Helms arguing with the referee isn’t going to do anyone any good. These two really need to move on and do anything else, or at least have some big blowoff match to wrap it up already, because trading quick wins isn’t helping anyone.

MVP is being checked on by the medics when Teddy Long comes in. Since MVP is fine, he can face Kane in a cage next week.

King Booker is talking with Queen Sharmell about the main event when Batista comes in. Booker isn’t happy with Batista becoming the new #1 contender because Booker didn’t need his protection. No worries though as Booker has beaten him before and can do it again. Batista: “Tonight, I’m going to beat you up.” Oh and Booker dropped his crown.

King Booker/Finlay vs. Batista/Bobby Lashley

Queen Sharmell is here too. We get the big staredown before the bell and it’s Batista starting with Finlay. Batista shoves him down to start and Finlay is already looking frustrated. A catapult sends Finlay throat first into the top rope and he lands on Batista’s knees for a bad landing. Batista powerslams Finlay for two and it’s off to Booker to unload in the corner.

That’s shrugged off and a clothesline drops Booker so Lashley can come in. Finlay gets thrown into Booker and there’s the double delayed vertical suplex to put Finlay down. JBL: “Makes me sick.” We take a break and come back with Finlay tying Lashley in the ring skirt to hammer away. Back in and Booker hits a side kick for two, followed by the required chinlock.

Booker sends him outside so the Leprechaun can pop out for a splash from the steps. JBL is rather pleased and Booker hammering away makes it even better. Finlay grabs the chinlock and then clotheslines Lashley down for daring a comeback. Lashley gets up again and hits a spear, allowing the hot tag to Batista. House is cleaned but Finlay breaks up the Batista Bomb. Sharmell gets in a scepter shot for two and Booker is stunned. Another kick to the face misses though and Batista hits the spinebuster for the pin.

Rating: C+. Things got a bit nuts at the end with the scepter but Batista continues to gain momentum on his way to Survivor Series. Lashley was little more than a warm body here but he is already moving on th ECW and who else was supposed to take his spot here? Batista almost has to win the title back at Survivor Series and if he does, everything should be fine on Smackdown for the time being.

Overall Rating: C. They’re kind of in a weird place at the moment as Survivor Series is pretty much set, meaning there isn’t much to do either this week or next. You’re only going to get so far with pushing the same matches that have already been set, so thankfully the main event and Regal matches were both pretty good. It’s a watchable but also skippable show, which is likely going to be the case next week as well.

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Dynamite
Date: April 14, 2021
Location: Daily’s Place, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Excalibur, Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross

It’s time for Dynamite to be on their own on Wednesday nights as the Wednesday Night Wars have come to an end. This is also an interesting time for AEW as the last few shows have seen a slip in their audience and some of their shows have not been quite so well received. AEW has a very good track record of correcting their issues though and maybe they can do it again. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The Young Bucks talk about how they picked friendship last week. They’re tired of others taking their credit so it is time to bring back the old Young Bucks, which they demonstrate by cutting the tassels off of their gear.

Mike Tyson is ready to be the guest enforcer this week but MJF comes up to say the Pinnacle isn’t happy with him. Tyson thinks MJF is his enemy, even while MJF tries to talk him into thinking it’s Jericho. MJF offers him a blank check but Tyson rips it up….and then eats part of it. That’s too far for MJF, who says he’ll remember that.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

Tag Team Titles: Rey Fenix/Pac vs. Young Bucks

The Bucks are defending and Don Callis comes to the ring with them before going to commentary. Pac takes Matt to the ground to start and rides him a bit before it’s off to Fenix vs. Nick. The pace is picked up with neither of them being able to get very far until a shot to Fenix’s back takes him down. A backdrop into a powerbomb doesn’t work as Fenix snaps off a hurricanrana to the floor.

The Bucks are sent outside for the back to back dives, followed by a series of kicks to rock Matt for two. Nick comes back in with the slingshot X Factor to Fenix and a double hiptoss sets up a double dropkick for a very lazy two. It’s back to Pac for a brainbuster on Nick as everything breaks down. The Bucks hit stereo apron powerbombs and then take it back inside for a running knee to Pac. A hyped up back rake keeps Pac down and we take a break.

Back with Pac backdropping Matt out to the floor, where he pulls Fenix off the apron. Pac knocks Matt away though and brings in Fenix to pick up the pace, including a double cutter for two on the Bucks. Everything breaks down and Fenix grabs the Blue Thunder Bomb for two on Matt.

The big flip dive takes Nick down on the floor as Pac grabs a German suplex for two. They head outside again with Fenix and Nick hitting stereo poisonranas. Back in and a top rope superplex drops Matt, setting up the Black Arrow for two with Nick driving Pac into the cover for two. Pac is sent to the floor so the Bucks take off Fenix’s mask and hit a double superkick to retain at 23:23.

Rating: B. The action was good but the mask stealing is a pretty cliched way to deal with a luchador. It didn’t help that there was no drama about a title change whatsoever. Now that the Elite is complete or whatever we’re doing here, it is going to be a long time before the champs actually get beat. Fenix and Pac looked good, but I’m not seeing them getting the titles anytime soon.

Hangman Page goes to get some egg rolls as John Silver and the Dark Order work on physical therapy for Silver’s shoulder injury.

Chris Jericho talks about knowing Mike Tyson for years, even back to when Tyson knocked him out years ago. Now, Jericho knows he needs some help and Tyson was the first person he called. Tonight, Tyson is the enforcer but Tyson says he’ll call it down the line, including knocking Jericho out if he has to.

Jade Cargill vs. Red Velvet

It’s a brawl to start with Velvet slipping out of a powerbomb and kicking Cargill in the face. Cargill gets low bridged to the floor and Velvet hits a big dive. That’s fine with Cargill, who fall away slams Velvet into the wrestlers at ringside. Back in and Cargill slams her again as we take a break. We come back with Cargill missing a charge into the corner but some clotheslines don’t put her down. Velvet finally manages to drop her with a wheelbarrow bulldog into the standing moonsault for two. The moonsault only grazes Cargill’s back so she’s up with Jaded (Glam Slam) for the pin at 7:40.

Rating: C-. They’re keeping this stuff fast and safe and that is a good idea for these two. Cargill still has all of the charisma and ability to play to the camera in the world but she is going to need a lot more ring time. Velvet isn’t the one to carry her that much farther, but they are doing something smart by letting them have such basic matches.

Britt Baker and Rebel give us an update on Baker’s rankings as she marches towards the Women’s Title.

Anthony Ogogo vs. Cole Carter

This is Ogogo’s, a bronze medalist in boxing, in-ring debut. After some quick grappling, Ogogo finishes with a punch to the ribs for the referee stoppage. That seemed rather fast.

Dax Harwood vs. Chris Jericho

Cash Wheeler, Tully Blanchard and Sammy Guevara are here and Mike Tyson is guest enforcer. They go straight to the brawling to start and the fight heads outside. Back in and Harwood nails him with a clothesline before it’s right back to the floor. This time Jericho stabs him in the head with a pen and then does his steal the camera bit. That takes too long so Harwood whips him into a barricade and gets in an argument with Tyson as we take a break.

Back with Jericho hitting a top rope ax handle into a lariat for two. Harwood runs him over again but misses a diving headbutt, allowing Jericho to grab the Walls. That’s broken up so Jericho misses the Judas Effect, allowing Harwood to German suplex him for two. The Codebreaker connects for Jericho but here are the Pinnacle and Inner Circle to fight. Wheeler goes for the bat so Tyson knocks him out. A Guevara distraction lets Jericho hit the Judas Effect for the pin at 13:14.

Rating: C+. This was a fine enough way to continue the build towards Blood & Guts, though it’s kind of a downgrade after they started with the huge brawls. That being said, the brawl on the stage made sense and it would have been weird to not have this wind up being some big mess. Tyson was fine in his role, and leaving it simple for him is the right idea.

Post match Jericho makes Tyson a member of the Inner Circle.

The Elite talks about everything they are doing now. This is the old version of them and that means the gold will follow. Like the gold they already had? Be prepared to be surprised again. And Callis superkicks the camera.

Thunder Rosa wants the NWA Women’s Title.

Kris Statlander vs. Amber Nova

Statlander starts fast with a boop each for Nova and the referee. Schiavone talks about his time being booped and it’s Statlander hitting a running elbow in the corner. The Big Bang Theory finishes Nova at 2:48.

Post match, Statlander and the Best Friends strike the pose.

Team Taz is ready to go get Christian’s response but Taz thinks Ricky Starks should stay backstage. Brian Cage agrees, but Taz tells him to do the same.

Here is Christian for an open challenge but Taz and company interrupt. Taz asks for an answer so Christian says no, sending Taz into a rant about how he never liked Christian or “his friend”. He even accuses Christian of wearing Taz’s colors and promises vengeance. Powerhouse Hobbs comes to the ring and the brawl is on, with Hobbs getting the better of things. Hobbs sends him into the barricade and then drops him onto the steps to leave Christian laying.

Video on Tay Conti vs. Hikaru Shida before their title match next week.

TNT Title: Matt Hardy vs. Darby Allin

Allin is defending and this is Falls Count Anywhere. Matt grabs a chair to knock Allin down to start and they head outside, where Matt sends him face first into the apron over and over. They head back inside with Allin already bleeding from the back. A neckbreaker gives Hardy two and he chairs Allin down again. Allin’s neck is put in the chair but the Twist of Fate is countered with a chair ram into Hardy’s neck.

Some chair shots to the back have Hardy in more trouble….and here is the Hardy Family Office to go after Allin. The Dark Order comes in for the brawl and here is Sting to get in on things. We take a break and come back with Sting and Lancer Archer having a staredown, with Archer going over to give Isaiah Kassidy the Black Out. Allin pounds on Hardy and Sting throws him the bat to make it worse.

A low blow cuts that off though and a Twist of Fate with the chair around Allin’s neck gets two. Not two weeks off the show as it probably should, but a two count. Hardy takes it backstage in front of Tony Khan and BJ Whitmer, with Allin being legdropped through a table for two. Back to the stage, where Allin slips out of a Razor’s Edge for a low blow of his own. Allin gets in a few shots with the bat to knock Hardy onto the announcers’ table. The Coffin Drop puts Hardy through the table to retain at 16:30.

Rating: C. So they started the match, then they did something completely different with Sting/Archer/everyone else, then they got back to the match where Allin survived a lot, hit him with the bat and won with a huge Coffin Drop. This felt like two segments crammed together and it only kind of worked, as I lost track of the match for a long portion. It was energetic and some of the spots were pretty good, but I don’t care about Hardy and the Twist of Fate onto the chair being a minor annoyance for Allin left me rolling my eyes more than anything else.

Overall Rating: B-. This show was all over the place and that might not be the best thing in the world. They did a few things rather well, mainly involving the stuff in the ring, but other than that, this was kind of a crazy one with one thing happening after another. I’ll give them points for not focusing on the Elite as much, but I’m not really sure what the big deal of this show was supposed to be. The Bucks would make the most sense, but they were gone about halfway through the show. It felt like they were just throwing stuff out there and while a good bit of it worked, the show felt tossed together and that isn’t like them.

Results

Young Bucks b. Rey Fenix/Pac – Double superkick to Fenix

Jade Cargill b. Red Velvet – Jaded

Anthony Ogogo b. Cole Carter via referee stoppage

Chris Jericho b. Dax Harwood – Judas Effect

Kris Statlander b. Amber Nova – Big Bang Theory

Darby Allin b. Matt Hardy – Coffin Drop through the announcers’ table

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

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Smackdown
Date: November 10, 2006
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re done with Cyber Sunday and that means it is time to get on the road to Survivor Series. The big story coming out of the pay per view is King Booker not only keeping the World Heavyweight Title but also becoming the Champion of Champions. That means he needs a new challenger and odds are we find that out tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here is Cyber Sunday if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Booker retaining the title thanks to Kevin Federline.

Here are King Booker and Queen Sharmell for a chat. Booker talks about how he kept the title but alas, like Alexander the Great, he has no worlds left to conquer. He lists off some names he has beaten but here is Teddy Long to interrupt. Long brings a bunch of photographers for some photos of Booker because we need to celebrate his victory.

Booker agrees that he defeated everyone when his back was against the wall, but last week there was someone protecting him. That would be Batista, and Long owes him a big favor. As a result, Batista is getting a title shot at Survivor Series, but it might not be against Booker, because he is defending the title right now. Booker: “I’LL SUE YOU!”

Smackdown World Title: King Booker vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is challenging and drives Booker into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs. The Fujiwara armbar goes on to keep Booker in trouble but he fights to his feet. That earns him a clothesline to the floor and we take a break. Back with Booker firing off knees in the corner as we hear about Lashley being on Team Cena at Survivor Series against Team Big Show.

Lashley comes back with the delayed vertical suplex (with JBL saying it reminded him of Rick Rude) but Booker avoids a charge to send Lashley’s shoulder into the post. Booker crotches him against the post for a bonus and a superkick gets two. The armbar stays on the bad arm but Lashley is up in a hurry, meaning Booker has to kick him in the face. Now it’s a shinbreaker to keep Lashley down again and we hit the spinning toehold of all things.

A small package gives Lashley two so Booker clotheslines him right back down. Back up and Booker’s leapfrog is powerslammed out of the air for a heck of a crash and a near fall. Sharmell offers a distraction though and Booker gets in a thumb to the eye. Lashley shrugs that off too but another Sharmell distraction lets Booker roll him up with trunks to retain.

Rating: C+. This was a bit rushed but they did their thing well enough. Booker cheating to win makes sense but it isn’t like Lashley was going to get the title so soon after Booker had his big win on Sunday anyway. I had fun with it and Booker did everything he could to make Lashley’s offense look great. That’s how you make someone look better in defeat and it is what happened here.

Post match Booker goes for the ax kick but Lashley clotheslines him down instead.

We get the first (of likely many) videos on the history of Batista vs. Finlay.

Here’s what John Cena has done to promote the Marine.

MVP comes in to Teddy Long’s office to complain about last week, but Long is about to watch the DVD of See No Evil (with DELETED SCENES). That isn’t cool with MVP, who mentions being from the streets. That’s cool with Teddy, who gives him a street fight with Kane next week.

Chris Benoit comes up to Chavo Guerrero and Vickie Guerrero and asks what happened to them. He asks if this is about Eddie’s estate but Vickie tells him to worry about something more important. Like Chavo taking the US Title at Survivor Series.

Jimmy Wang Yang/Matt Hardy vs. Sylvan/Gregory Helms

I feel like I’m watching a Lethal Lottery show. Helms chokes Yang as JBL rants about how much he can’t stand Yang at all. A backbreaker sets up a chinlock but Hardy comes in for the save, allowing Yang to be double teamed. Sylvan comes in for some knees to the chest and Helms whips Yang hard into the corner. A dropkick into a belly to back slam gets two on Yang, who spinwheel kicks Sylvan out of the air. The hot tag brings in Hardy to hammer on Helms and plant him with a Side Effect. Everything breaks down and Sylvan is sent outside, allowing Hardy to hit the Twist of Fate from the top to finish Helms.

Rating: C-. Perfectly fine enough match here, even with Hardy vs. Helms seemingly continuing for eternity. Hardy’s comeback worked well and he carried a lot more of the match than Yang, but it wasn’t like he could bring it up to another level. This felt like four people being put on the show for something to do instead of for a particular reason and that is rarely a good idea.

More on Batista vs. Finlay.

Here is Mr. Kennedy for Undertaker’s answer to a Survivor Series challenge. He talks about how Undertaker debuted sixteen years ago at Survivor Series and has made an amazing legacy for himself. That’s good, but look at what Kennedy has done in so little time. He has beaten all kinds of World Champions and is ready to move to Raw or ECW and show what else he can do, but Undertaker is standing in his way. Kennedy wants Undertaker out here right now because he is ending Undertaker’s career at Survivor Series. More taunting ensues and the gong goes off.

Undertaker does the full entrance and even takes his hat off, allowing Kennedy to hit him low. The beatdown is on with Kennedy hammering him in the head with the microphone. Undertaker is busted open and more microphone shots put him down. Kennedy gets in his face and says his own name before leaving, with Undertaker sitting up but not being able to get very far. This was a good segment for Kennedy, who set this up and then beat Undertaker down. He’ll get wrecked at Survivor Series, but it worked for him here.

Chris Benoit vs. KC James

Non-title and James has Michelle McCool with him. JBL sings McCool’s praises, saying he likes women, even if Cole doesn’t. Benoit hammers away in the corner and a knee to the ribs sends James outside. Back in and James elbows him down and grabs the chinlock with a knee in the back to keep Benoit in trouble. Benoit suplexes his way to freedom and it’s time to roll the German suplexes. The Swan Dive sets up the Crossface for the tap.

Rating: D+. No time to do much here but it was a nice way to show that Benoit is on a roll. It’s also smart to use low level tag guys like James here, because he isn’t going to be hurt by a loss to Benoit. They did things exactly as they should have here and no one was hurt, so what else can you ask them to do?

Batista is going to be on Smallville.

Boogeyman vs. TJ Dalton

Boogeyman throws him inside, catches a kick, eats some worms and finishes with the chokebomb in a hurry.

Post match, Dalton gets wormed.

Another Batista vs. Finlay video.

Kristal yells at Miz for not getting rid of Boogeyman. Worry not though as Miz will beat Boogeyman in a match next week.

One last Batista vs. Finlay video.

Batista vs. Finlay

Batista shoulders him down to start and then hits him again for a bonus. Finlay goes to the ropes so Batista pulls him back to hammer away some more. They head outside with Batista blocking a posting and hitting a clothesline. We take a break and come back with Batista holding a kneeling bearhug. More forearms in the corner have Finlay in trouble and a backdrop makes it worse.

There’s a backbreaker to keep Finlay down as this has been one sided so far. It’s back to the floor for a big boot to Finlay but the Leprechaun hits Batista in the leg with the Shillelagh. Finlay gets in a kick of his own and it’s time to work on Batista’s knee. The cranking and stomping on the knee ensues with Finlay putting on a standing leglock. Back up and Finlay misses a charge into the post and Batista hits some shoulders to the ribs.

Something like a Muscle Buster of all things drops Finlay but the knee is too banged up. Some clotheslines set up a powerslam to plant Finlay but he goes to the knee to slow Batista down again. That lasts for all of two seconds as Batista hits another clothesline for two. Cue Booker for a distraction but Batista sends Finlay into him, setting up the spinebuster for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was surprisingly one sided for a good chunk of the match as Batista dominated most of it. The knee thing didn’t mean much and Finlay never felt like a threat to win. I know Batista is on his way to the World Title shot at Survivor Series and it’s hardly bad to have him look dominant but you would expect something a little more competitive here.

Overall Rating: C. It’s nice to have Cyber Sunday out of the way so things can have a fresh focus, but there wasn’t anything important here. They mostly played it safe and didn’t try anything out of the ordinary, so we’ll call it a nice and easy first step towards the pay per view. Batista vs. Booker is the only way they could go and I’m sure the Survivor Series matches will get some nice build going forward. There’s nothing wrong with taking it nice and safe and that’s how they went here.

 

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Wrestlemania XXXIV
Date: April 8, 2018
Location: Mercedes-Benz Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 78,133
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton
America the Beautiful: Chloe x Hallie

I’m not sure if it’s because I was in the stadium last year or something else, but this show was actually a bit more memorable than the previous few editions. Hopefully it’s just as good watching it back but you never can tell with these things. Brock Lesnar is defending the Universal Title against Roman Reigns in the main event because of course he is so let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Titus O’Neil, Luke Gallows, Dash Wilder, Chad Gable, Curt Hawkins, Scott Dawson, Primo Colon, Kane, Curtis Axel, Apollo, Tye Dillinger, Rhyno, Aiden English, Matt Hardy, Tyler Breeze, Mike Kanellis, Karl Anderson, Mojo Rawley, R-Truth, Sin Cara, Dolph Ziggler, Viktor, Shelton Benjamin, Goldust, Bo Dallas, Zack Ryder, Baron Corbin, Heath Slater, Konnor, Fandango

JR and Jerry Lawler come out for commentary with Byron Saxton for a bit of a feel good moment. It’s a brawl to start with English getting backdropped out, much to the fans’ annoyance. Anderson dumps Konnor and Ziggler starts his tradition of hanging on to avoid elimination. There goes Hawkins as we still need to clear out a lot of the ring. Former partners R-Truth and Goldust shake hands with Goldust eliminating him, cutting off JR’s Bearcat Wright’s references.

Primo is out next as there’s almost nothing between these eliminations. Kanellis gets tossed and Ziggler hangs on again. Things settle down a bit unto Apollo knees Breeze as JR mocks Ziggler for always having to save himself. Viktor is gone too and the Revival beats on Ryder but he’s right back up. The Broski Boot is loaded up on Ziggler (JR: “Ziggler in trouble. Again.”) but Rawley Pounces Ryder out in a nice touch. A Liger kick from Gable eliminates Anderson and Titus gets rid of Gallows as we take a break.

Apollo getting backdropped out and Benjamin follows him…and let’s look at the announcers. We come back with Rhyno and the Revival gone and Kane eliminating Axel and Dallas. And now, we look at John Cena in the crowd as a fan, because I had forgotten about that stupid story. Back with Sin Cara eliminated by Corbin and Fandango dancing at Kane, earning himself an elimination off a single uppercut.

Corbin gets rid of Slater and Kane eliminates Gable, leaving us with the big power showdown. Everyone else jumps the monsters and it’s a superkick to Titus, setting a clothesline to get rid of him. We’re down to Corbin, Dillinger, Goldust, Rawley, Ziggler, Hardy and Kane as Goldust loads up Shattered Dreams on Dillinger. That’s broken up by Ziggler so Goldust ties him up for Shattered Dreams as well. Dillinger takes the kick but Ziggler eliminates Goldust.

That leaves us with a TEN vs. DELETE battle with a Twist of Fate and Dillinger is gone. Kane tosses Ziggler but gets eliminated by Corbin to get us down to Corbin, Hardy and Rawley. A fireman’s carry faceplant drops Hardy and the villains go for the elimination….but here’s the returning Bray Wyatt for Sister Abigail into an elimination for Rawley. Corbin drops Wyatt but gets backdropped out to give Matt the win at 16:36.

Rating: D+. It was a battle royal that got a lot of time and wasn’t all that interesting. The ending was a cool moment and it’s the best way to get everyone on the card, even if most of these people mean a grand total of nothing. It’s not a good match or even anything memorable, but at least it got the crowd warmed up….with an hour to go before the show itself starts.

Post match Matt thanks Bray and we get a hug, which JR deems a Wrestlemania moment.

Cruiserweight Title: Cedric Alexander vs. Mustafa Ali

Tournament final to crown a new champion after Enzo Amore was finally banished. Ali debuts his SubZero look, which he still uses a year later. They’re both very happy to be there and slaps hands before getting started. Cedric scores with a shoulder block but gets headscissored down as the announcers are right there to play up the power vs. speed idea, though you don’t exactly think of power when it comes to Alexander.

Ali heads to the apron and gets enziguried down, setting up the big flip dive to the floor and…actually not a break. Back in and Cedric starts in on the ribs with a waistlock, followed by a heck of a backdrop for two. Ali gets out of another waistlock and faceplants him for two as Alexander looks focused while being in pain. The running Spanish Fly drops Ali again and it takes both of them time to get up. They’re doing a rather good job of showing how even these two are, which is what you should be doing in a tournament final.

Ali is up first and tries a tornado DDT but gets placed on top, where Ali catches him with a super Spanish Fly, shocking even Cena. The 054 is loaded up but Cedric knocks him off the top for a huge crash to the floor. That’s not serious so let’s go split screen for a Ronda Rousey ad. I mean…fair enough. Back in the Lumbar Check is countered, setting up Ali’s awesome tornado DDT.

Now the 054 connects for two, the first time the move has ever only gotten a near fall. Another 054 misses and it’s a pair of spinning back elbows to Ali’s face. A third turns Ali inside out and the Lumbar Check makes Cedric champion at 12:21. Cedric immediately hugs the unconscious Ali in a nice show of sportsmanship.

Rating: B. I was pulling for Ali but it felt like a title match between two guys fighting with everything they had. Cedric was the favorite in the entire tournament but Ali came off looking like a star the whole way through. This was rather good stuff and should have been the Kickoff Show main event, though I’ll take a good match when I can.

Kickoff Show: Women’s Battle Royal

Dana Brooke, Becky Lynch, Sarah Logan, Lana, Bianca Belair, Naomi, Sonya Deville, Mandy Rose, Carmella, Peyton Royce, Natalya, Dakota Kai, Mickie James, Taynara Conti, Ruby Riott, Kairi Sane, Sasha Banks, Liv Morgan, Kavita Devi, Bayley

This was going to be the Fabulous Moolah Memorial Battle Royal but history intervened and it’s just a regular battle royal this time around. Paige and Beth Phoenix are on commentary and the former has some advice: don’t get thrown over the top rope. Becky comes out first, everyone else comes out, followed by Sasha and Bayley to fill out the field. Miss Money in the Bank Carmella (erg) poses with the briefcase to start and everyone gangs up on her for the easy elimination.

Deville, who got the elimination, poses in the big circle of women but Dana gets thrown in the middle instead. That means trash talk from Brooke and the big beatdown is on with Mandy tossing Dana. The NXT women team up to send the main roster women outside (through the ropes rather than over, which I can’t stand in battle royals) so we can get the WE ARE NXT pose.

Becky yells at Devi about orange being HER COLOR as some of the main roster women get back in. Kai eliminates Mandy as Paige declares Deville her favorite member of Absolution. We stop for the NXT women to triple team Deville, setting up Belair’s 450, because THAT MAKES SENSE IN A BATTLE ROYAL! Deville is out and we take a break, coming back with Sane being tossed after hitting the Insane Elbow thanks to more ganging up on Riott during the break.

Lana and Devi are tossed and Conti gets kicked out by the Squad. Becky and Belair have a less than thrilling slugout and the hair whip is incredibly loud. Belair misses a charge though and gets kicked out, followed by Kai kicking Naomi in the face. Banks gets rid of Kai without much effort and there goes Becky to a chorus of boos (I think Becky will be fine). Ruby knocks Mickie out and it’s Royce’s turn to kick people in the face.

Logan powerbombs her out as well though and we’re down to Morgan, Logan, Riott, Bayley, Banks, Natalya and Naomi, who is out on the floor (oh dear). For some reason Natalya decides to pose with her back turned to the Squad but manages to suplex Ruby and Sarah at the same time.

Bayley saves Sasha from a suplex and helps get rid of Natalya. Morgan is out as well and there goes Ruby. Banks sends Logan to the apron and Bayley knocks her out, leaving us with Banks and Bayley. The fans actually get on their feet to cheer for this one and the handshake…lets Bayley throw Banks out to a big reaction but Naomi gets back in for the Rear View. That’s enough for the win at 9:39.

Rating: F+. I had forgotten how annoying that ending was but it makes you realize just how stupid this whole thing was. Bayley and Banks would go on to have their weird semi-feud and then partnership over the year while Naomi has done NOTHING important since this match. You have something here with Bayley and the bright idea is to do the HAHA WE TRICKED YOU ending? That’s been done to death in battle royals and it’s not like this was anything more than a surprise ending, which was really stupid given how Bayley had been searching for anything important for the last year. This actually ticked me off again so well done.

Jojo introduces Chloe and Hallie to sing America the Beautiful, describing them as the “future of music”. Well if Jojo says it then it must be true.

The opening video shows shots of parties in New Orleans and, just like in 2014, features a tagline of Let The Good Times Roll. They couldn’t come up with anything else in four years? And the theme song is still Celebrate by Kid Rock. Ok it’s a catchy song, but is there nothing else (or no one else) that they could use?

Yay pyro! And cool set with the Mardi Gras mask, which looked awesome all night long.

I was in the stadium for this show, sitting in the lower bowl and looking not quite directly at the far post on the right side opposite the hard camera.

Intercontinental Title: Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor vs. The Miz

Miz is defending and we get the new idea this year: 3D graphics for some of the entrances, including Miz who gets the Miz logo and various words to describe him, including MOVIE STAR. Miz sends the Miztourage to the back because he wants to do this himself for his newborn daughter. The weird part is you couldn’t see those in the stadium (obviously) but you could see them on the screens around the building, which made your head snap around a few times.

Balor isn’t the Demon here, but instead comes out with a bunch of LGBT people in rainbow Balor Club shirts labeled FOR EVERYONE. If nothing else, it’s awesome to see the stadium doing the Balor pose at once. This was set up with both guys beating Miz in one night, because Balor beating Miz after Miz had a long match with Rollins is totally the same thing.

They all go for the way too early rollups to start with Miz being sent outside. That means Rollins can miss a Stomp on Balor but a superkick to the ribs works just fine. Balor sends Rollins outside though and it’s the big running flip dive onto both of them for the first major pop of the night. Back in and basement dropkick gives Balor two on Miz but Rollins is back in with a high crossbody.

Miz finally gets to do something other than get beaten up as we look at Cena in the crowd again. Rollins grabs a double Blockbuster for two on Miz but he’s right back up with a knee to the ribs (not face Cole). The chinlock goes on, which shouldn’t be the case less than four minutes into a triple threat. Back up and a neckbreaker gets two on Miz as they’re just trading moves until we get to the big stuff. Another chinlock seems to annoy Balor so he gets up again and hits the double stomp to Miz’s ribs.

Rollins is back in for a Sling Blade to Balor, setting up a suicide dive to Balor and Miz. A superkick drops Balor again but Miz comes in with a DDT for two. Miz goes with the strategy by bending Balor’s knee around the ropes and slapping on the Figure Four. The frog splash from Rollins (from out of nowhere for an awesome visual) breaks it up and all three of them head outside.

Balor escapes the barricade powerbomb and dropkicks them both into the barricade instead. Back in again and 1916 gets two on Rollins but Miz breaks up the Coup de Grace. Instead of the Tower of Doom though it’s the buckle bomb to Miz and a superplex into the Falcon Arrow to Balor. The Skull Crushing Finale gives Miz two on Rollins and they’re all down again.

Balor does his hop over the ropes in the corner but gets crotched for trying the Coup de Grace again. It’s just not working this time dude. Miz goes up top with Balor and catches a springboarding Rollins with something close to a super Skull Crushing Finale. Balor breaks it up with a Coup de Grace and hits a second on Miz but the Stomp breaks that up too. Another Stomp hits Miz to give Rollins the pin and the title at 15:37.

Rating: B-. This might have been a few minutes too long but Rollins winning was a fine call as he’s more than over enough and kind of fits the Workrate Champion idea to perfection. Miz can come back and break the all time days record later and Balor is over no matter what. Not a great match, but a very hot opener and the fans were into everything here.

We recap the Smackdown Women’s Title match, which is billed as the BIGGEST WOMEN’S MATCH IN WRESTLEMANIA HISTORY. My how times change. Anyway Charlotte is the queen of everything and Asuka won the Royal Rumble to earn this shot. It’s absolutely a dream match with Charlotte being Charlotte and Asuka still being undefeated.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Asuka

Charlotte is defending and gets the full Ric Flair theme song, complete with a HHH from Wrestlemania XXX inspired entrance, meaning soldiers to help her off a throne and take her robe. Asuka on the other hand gets the CGI masks with rainbow colored lines surrounding them, which look cool on screen but live….not so much. They lock up to start and take turns flipping out of wristlocks for an early standoff.

Charlotte loads up a monkey flip but instead trips the leg for a failed Figure Eight attempt. You can feel the intensity here and it’s working well so far. Some chops to the chest (and one to the face) have Asuka in trouble but she’s right back with a hip attack to knock Charlotte outside. Back in and it’s time to start in on the arm but Charlotte gets in a backbreaker into an STO. Charlotte uses a Backpack Stunner to get out of a sleeper and a knee to the back of the head keeps Asuka in trouble.

It’s enough trouble for Charlotte to go up top for the moonsault….which is countered into a triangle for a sweet escape. Charlotte reverses into a Boston crab until Asuka makes the rope. A sliding kick to the face knocks Charlotte backwards and it’s back to the arm as Asuka continues to follow her game plan. They head to the apron with Asuka suplexing her out to the floor in a good looking crash. Sometimes you need to just go with a big spot like that and it worked very well.

Back in and they stare each other down until Asuka just erupts with strikes to the face. A missile dropkick gets two and Asuka stomps on the back. Charlotte is fine enough for the chops to catch Asuka on top and it’s a super Spanish Fly for two with the fans getting much more into things in a hurry. Natural Selection is countered into something like an Octopus Hold from Asuka’s back for a cool change of pace.

Charlotte tries to flip out and into the Figure Eight but Asuka kicks her in the head for a block. Well that’s certainly to the point. The Asuka Lock is blocked and Charlotte hits a very good spear for two more as the fans are WAY into this. With nothing else working, Charlotte goes to the Figure Eight and bridges up with one arm….and Asuka taps at 13:05 in a shocker.

Rating: A-. I don’t get shocked by results very often but I was actually stunned to see how this went. I would have bet money on Asuka walking out as champion here but Charlotte winning was far from a ridiculous result. Now the problem is what this did to Asuka, as she only started to recover from the loss nearly a year later. Charlotte would lose the title to Carmella two days later, bringing some dark days to the belt. This however was anything but dark, with an outstanding match between two stars.

Post match Asuka gets the mic and says Charlotte was ready for her in the ultimate sign of respect.

With Charlotte on the ramp and Asuka in the ring, a referee tells Cena something that makes him get out of his seat and run up the ramp. You really couldn’t wait until the women were gone so they could have the full moment?

US Title: Bobby Roode vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Randy Orton vs. Rusev

Orton is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Aiden English (now bald, meaning he shaved his head since the end of the battle royal when he had hair) handles Rusev’s entrance and we get my favorite shot every year: a closeup of someone with the camera swinging around to show the stadium crowd in front of them. There’s something so cool about seeing just how big of a stage they’re really on. Anyway, Rusev is crazy over and easily the crowd favorite. Does anyone else see an issue with Orton’s music saying “I hear voices in my head” while his Titantron says IN MY VEINS?

While you think about that, Orton and Mahal are sent outside, leaving Rusev to dropkick (yes dropkick) Roode to the floor. A RUSEV DAY Cannonball off the apron takes Orton and Mahal down again but Roode is back in with a Blockbuster for two on Rusev. The other two get back in and it’s Mahal getting beaten up by Orton and Roode before being tossed right back to the floor. Orton hits the top rope superplex on Roode with Rusev and Mahal diving back in for the save.

That’s enough for Mahal to ask Rusev for a partnership but Rusev doesn’t even bother waiting before hitting Mahal with a spinning belly to back suplex for two. Roode makes it worse by busting Mahal’s spine and hitting the GLORIOUS pose, only to have Orton make a save this time.

That leaves Orton alone in the ring and it’s the hanging DDT on Rusev. The RKO hits English, Rusev and Mahal so it’s Roode making a save of his own. Roode blocks the RKO and plants Orton with the Glorious DDT as Mahal saves. The Machka Kick drops Mahal but Sunil Singh offers a distraction, letting Mahal hit the Khallas for the pin on Rusev at 8:14. You could literally feel the energy go out of the crowd.

Rating: D+. There was some hard work in there but this was the definition of Vince saying screw the audience because it’s all about what I want. Rusev was one of the most popular guys in the company and had been for months but instead we get Mahal, who was an all time bomb as WWE Champion getting to pin Rusev.

It’s not like there was even a long term plan as Mahal would lose the title a mere eight days later. Rusev would indeed get the title nearly nine months later, after his popularity had fallen way down, meaning it was acceptable to give the fans what they want. This really hurt the show and it’s going to be hard to recover.

We recap Ronda Rousey/Kurt Angle vs. HHH/Stephanie McMahon and yeah I think this might help the recovery process. After being at Wrestlemania XXXI and attacking Stephanie, Rousey made her official WWE debut at the Royal Rumble earlier in the year. She wanted to go to Wrestlemania and since she was (at the time) the most dominant female UFC fighter of all time, Stephanie wanted to mold her into a WWE star.

Angle, who had been screwed over by Stephanie and HHH before, warned Ronda that they would mess with her too. That didn’t sit well with Rousey, who beat both of them up on the way to this mixed tag match. Naturally we got a lot of Stephanie workout videos because she’s STEPHANIE and that makes her some wrestling legend. It’s sickening, and I was waiting on her to survive the armbar in the match. It was clear that this was going to be full of smoke and mirrors, but the question is how well Rousey is going to do in her debut. This is one of the main events of the show and something a lot of people really wanted to see.

Ronda Rousey/Kurt Angle vs. HHH/Stephanie McMahon

HHH and Stephanie come out on matching motorcycles (flanked by four women on their own motorcycles), with Stephanie’s biker look (including the leather pants) making me a lot less annoyed at her. Cole: “Even though Stephanie is a former Women’s Champion, this is her Wrestlemania in-ring debut!” WWE pretending that Stephanie was a wrestler is one of their more interesting character tweaks. Rousey gets a huge reaction and of course smiles at the crowd, as is her custom. Cole talks about two people starting in UFC and coming to WWE: Ken Shamrock and now Rousey. So they’re not Dan Severn fans either?

The fans are WAY behind Rousey as they stare each other down in the middle. Stephanie shoves Rousey in the face because Stephanie just never learns. A hair pull doesn’t prove to be the brightest idea either so Stephanie bails to the apron so the guys can start us off. Angle (very badly) punches at HHH and the beating is on in the corner. A hammerlock keeps HHH does as we’re just waiting for this to explode as it should be doing.

Stephanie manages to lure Rousey in though and Angle gets low bridged to the floor. Cole calls this “that McMahon instinct” as the worship is already a lot to take. Angle gets sent into the steps and Rousey is about to lose it because she can’t intervene. Some more cheap shots from Stephanie keep Rousey angry and a spinebuster gives HHH two. A front facelock keeps Angle down but he gets a boot up in the corner.

Stephanie chokes Angle and HHH nearly hits her by mistake but it’s still too early for the hot tag. A suplex drops HHH again but Stephanie runs around and pulls Rousey off the apron. HHH gets whipped over the corner for the real crash and you can see the panic in Stephanie. The hot tag brings in Rousey (Graves: “CALL THE COPS!!!”) who SPRINTS over to Stephanie and throws her down with a suplex. After the required tug of the shorts, Rousey unloads with rights and lefts in the corner as the fans are already losing it. The release throw sends Stephanie back into the corner and Graves is terrified.

The fans want and receive the armbar….but Stephanie blocks it. Yes the hold that UFC fighters were powerless again is a simple block for Stephanie as the crowd’s soul is slapped down again. Stephanie blocks it a second time and rakes the eyes (Cole: “Complete manipulation of the rules!” Ignore the complete manipulation of reality and focus on those rules man.”), setting up a double arm crank as the fans try to process that they’re really doing this.

Stephanie even mocks Rousey, who grabs her by the throat and hits the swinging Samoan drop for two with HHH pulling the referee. Rousey: “I’m going to continue beating up your wife ok?” HHH pulls her out as well, apparently not a fan of such chatty opponents. Angle is back up and sends HHH over the announcers’ table but gets thrown onto the Spanish table. After a slow crawl, HHH is back in and sees Rousey, who is ready to fight. HHH puts the referee in the corner and sizes Rousey up and the beating is on in the corner.

A legsweep looks to set up the swinging Samoan drop but Stephanie makes a save. I know I’m not a big HHH fan a lot of the time but he just made Rousey look like the biggest star in the history of the division. Rousey chases Stephanie outside though and has to adjust the gear again, allowing Stephanie to post her. Angle is back in for some belly to belly suplexes and the rolling Germans but the ankle lock is countered. The Pedigree is countered as well and HHH gets catapulted into the corner, setting up the Angle Slam for two with no one making a save.

Stephanie breaks up the ankle lock and yells at Angle, who catches the boot to the ribs. HHH has to save his wife and Pedigrees Angle for two with Rousey making her own save this time. With Angle down, HHH loads Rousey up for a powerbomb but gets hurricanranaed (!) into the armbar on HHH (I completely bought that as the finish live) until Stephanie grabs a choke.

That’s reversed into an armbar and Stephanie has the gall to block it AGAIN. Angle ankle locks HHH, who rolls Angle into Rousey for the real save. Rousey and Angle get posted and it’s time for stereo Pedigrees, both of which are broken up. The armbar is slapped on again and this time Rousey uses the leverage to pull back and Stephanie finally taps at 20:37.

Rating: A. That’s not even on a sliding scale because Rousey knocked that out harder than she knocked out Alexis Davis. She looked like she’s been doing this for ten years and had one of the best debut matches I’ve ever seen. Everyone else was nailing it too and I got completely sucked into it both live and watching it back because all of the stuff was that good. Don’t have Stephanie block the armbar so often and this is an A+ easy.

That was the only downgrade, even though you knew full well it was coming. To be fair though, Stephanie did tap out clean in the end so it wasn’t the most ridiculous thing ever. Well the first part was but not the finish. After this, how can you now see Rousey as the star that she already was?

Stephanie has to be helped out, as she should. She would get armbarred again the next night for a bonus.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Bludgeon Brothers vs. Usos

The Usos are defending after the Bludgeon Brothers destroyed both other teams last month at Fastlane. Woods plays the trombone (using the same tune that would summon the Dragonzord on Mighty Morphin Power Rangers)…to bring out a fleet of small people dressed as stacks of pancakes, some of whom do the Worm. I still don’t get why pancakes are supposed to be funny, but anyone who plays a trombone like the Dragon Dagger (that thing was IMPOSSIBLE to find back in the day) is cool with me.

Kofi wastes no time in hitting Trouble in Paradise on Jey but Harper pulls him outside before the count. Jimmy gets sent into the steps and Harper crashes against Big E. against the barricade. With no one else to beat up, Woods gets powerbombed against the post, leaving Rowan to splash Kofi and Jey back inside. The mostly done Jey is thrown outside and Big E. gets knocked off the apron. Jimmy comes back in for a pair of superkicks and Jey is back up for stereo kicks to Harper’s head in the corner.

A jumping enziguri hits Harper and a superkick knocks Rowan to the floor, setting up a double suplex on the outside. Harper catches Kofi with a swinging release Boss Man Slam but gets caught with a double superkick on top. Rowan breaks up the Tower of Doom so Kofi charges at Harper, only to get powerbombed by Rowan. An assisted super sitout powerbomb finishes Kofi to give Harper and Rowan the titles at 5:55.

Rating: C-. The time cuts aside, this wasn’t the worst match in the world with the Usos and the New Day giving it all they had against the monsters but not being able to stop them. The Bludgeon Brothers were the first time a team other than the Usos or New Day had held the belts in over a year so this was long, long overdue and the right call.

Here’s what’s coming to the Network, most of which actually happened for a change.

Here’s a fired up John Cena for his match with Undertaker. This comes after weeks of Cena calling out Undertaker for Wrestlemania because Undertaker seemingly retired after last year’s show. Cena came off as the biggest jerk in this feud and acting like Undertaker owed him something. There was no confirmation that Undertaker was going to be here, hence him sitting in the crowd earlier.

That’s the other stupid part of the whole thing: Cena kept talking about how he had no path to Wrestlemania, because JOHN CENA couldn’t get a match. He gave some lame excuse about how this was the only match that mattered and it didn’t do a thing to make up for the consistently annoying lines from commentary about Cena possibly being left out of Wrestlemania. I get what they were going for, but come on already.

Anyway Cena is ready to go but here’s a referee to say not so fast. Cena is disappointed and the lights go out. It’s only Elias though and Cena heads back to his seat as Elias sings about it being his night. That’s enough for Cena who runs in and beats Elias up before looking disappointed again. Cole: “I guess that would be a Wrestlemania moment right?” He goes up the ramp but stops….and the lights go out again. A spotlight hits the ring with Undertaker’s hat, coat and boots, which are hit by lighting (looks awful on the Network, looked great when you didn’t see it coming in the stadium. They’re gone, and the gong strikes.

Undertaker vs. John Cena

I know he’s been old for ten years, but that entrance live, especially in the stadium, is chilling. Cole of course can’t SHUT UP, saying everything he can think of, including calling them the two greatest performers of all time. Undertaker goes straight at him in the corner to start and hits the jumping clothesline. Old School connects and Undertaker hits some running clotheslines in the corner. Snake Eyes into the big boot into the big leg have Cena rocked but the chokeslam is escaped.

Cena’s belly to back connects but Undertaker sits up before the Shuffle, making Cena fall down in fear. The chokeslam into the Tombstone finishes Cena at 2:48. The more I think of this one, the more I like it. Cena ran his mouth for so long and Undertaker annihilated him here, just as he should have. While a lot of people will be annoyed at not getting a full form match between these two, I’d rather they do this than have Undertaker look back in a fifteen minute match.

Video on the Hall of Fame ceremony.

Here’s the Hall of Fame Class, which really doesn’t need to air on the show. They already get a whole evening to themselves. Do we really need ten minutes on Wrestlemania too?

Jeff Jarrett (eh sure, though it’s still weird to see him here)

Mark Henry (still not sure on him, though his documentary was great)

Hillbilly Jim (I’m a Kentucky boy but come on)

Ivory (she looks better now than she did during her career)

Jarius JJ Robertson (Warrior Award)

Dudley Boyz (yep)

Goldberg (yep, though I’d call the Dudleys more appropriate headliners)

Oh and Kid Rock, this year’s celebrity inductee, wasn’t there because he had a concert.

We recap Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens. Bryan somehow overcame his injuries and returned to the ring in something I still can barely believe. Owens and Zayn had tormented Smackdown boss Shane for months and then attacked Bryan for firing them the night he was announced as being cleared. Therefore it’s a tag match with Owens and Zayn fighting for their jobs. Yeah that’s all well and good. The point here is Bryan actually getting back in the ring, which is almost impossible to imagine.

Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens vs. Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon

Owens and Zayn beat McMahon up on Smackdown to cover for Shane’s legitimate medical issues. Chris Jericho was apparently on red phone alert for this show with a plan to have him fly in from a Fozzy show on the corporate jet in case Shane couldn’t make the show. Bryan gets a special entrance with a weird military/Terminator themed video showing a target on the Superdome before looking at the YES Movement spreading throughout the world in a cool moment. You can feel the emotions in Bryan as he comes down the aisle and it’s an amazing sight to behold.

Owens and Zayn jump the good guys from behind and Shane gets thrown over the barricade. Bryan takes a Helluva kick and the apron powerbomb to leave him laying. Medics come out to check on Bryan as yes, they actually are trying to stretch this out even further. Shane is willing to fight on his own and unloads with the really bad punches to Owens in the corner.

There’s the jumping back elbow but Shane grabs his stomach due to the diverticulitis (the same thing that ruined Lesnar’s UFC career). A DDT drops Sami but Owens gets in a shot to the stomach to cut Shane off. We settle down into a regular match with Sami elbowing the ribs and going for one cover after another. Owens steps on the ribs and applauds Bryan for such a great return. A t-bone suplex gives Sami two and a superkick into the Blue Thunder Bomb is good for the same. The fans don’t care about this whatsoever and there’s no reason for them to.

With Bryan STILL being tended to at ringside, it’s just a big waiting game until Bryan gets back up and makes the hot tag. The Helluva Kick misses in the corner and Sami gets tied in the Tree of Woe. Coast to Coast hits but Shane can’t follow up because of the stomach. Owens drops the frog splash on Shane but Bryan dives in for the save to bring the fans back to life. The hot tag is cut off though and we hit the chinlock to make the fans wait a little longer. A belly to back suplex gets Shane out of trouble though and there’s the tag, with Bryan taking his time before getting in for an awesome moment.

House is cleaned and it’s the moonsault over Sami into the running clothesline. Owens comes back in and Bryan gets them in opposite corners for alternating running dropkicks. Sami is back with a Helluva Kick for two on Bryan and Owens superkicks Shane to the floor. The Pop Up Powerbomb gets two more and Owens is shocked at the kickout. Shane dives onto Owens, leaving Sami to yell at Bryan for coming back and punch him in the face. That’s enough for Bryan and the fight is on, including the YES Kicks. The running knee sets up the YES Lock to make Sami tap at 15:24.

Rating: C+. This was two matches in one with the rather boring beatdown of Shane for the first half before Bryan came in and gave the fans exactly what they wanted for the second half. It was all about Bryan and that’s all it was supposed to be. The idea that he actually made it back to the ring is amazing and one of the most surprising stories you’ll ever see in wrestling. He deserved a big moment like this and that’s what we got here, albeit after Shane got in his own time of course.

Attendance announcement, with pyro because it’s Wrestlemania.

We recap Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss. They were friends, but Jax found out that Bliss was making fun of her behind her back. Jax went into monster mode and chased after Bliss and her friend Mickie James, setting up this match. Now there’s no reason this shouldn’t be about thirty seconds long, but it’s Wrestlemania and what matters is getting on the card and having a long match instead of doing what makes sense.

Raw Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax

Bliss, with James in her corner, is defending and is lowered down to the stage on a platform for a nice touch. We get the Big Match Intros and Bliss immediately backs up as she should. Jax gets smart and runs Mickie over before the bell rings to send her outside for a heck of a beatdown. Bliss tries to intervene and gets glared back to the ring, leaving James to take a Samoan drop on the floor.

We get back inside for the opening bell and Bliss slaps her in the face. That earns a scream from Nia so Bliss screams back in true scream queen fashion. A gorilla press slam has Bliss bailing to the floor and it’s time to leave, only to have Nia run her over again. Back in and Bliss pokes her in the eye before going after the knee in a smart move.

What’s not a smart move is this match already going nearly three minutes with Bliss getting in any significant offense. A basement dropkick keeps Jax in trouble but a guillotine choke is easily countered via an overhead belly to belly suplex. Jax goes shoulder first into the post as the fans are quiet all over again. Twisted Bliss to a standing Nia on the floor gives Bliss another knockdown, setting up the short DDT for two back inside.

Bliss yells at her so Nia tells her to shut up already and the destruction begins. Another poke to the eye is no sold and Bliss gets whipped hard into the buckles. Bliss goes to the eye again to get out of the Samoan drop but Jax drives her into the corner and then drops her. That’s not enough as it’s a super Samoan drop to give Jax the pin and the title at 9:02.

Rating: D-. What were they thinking here? The whole story was that Bliss was all talk and survived because of Nia but then she hangs with Nia for the better part of ten minutes? This should have been thirty seconds long with Bliss getting the title back later on (as she did in June) after coming back from getting squashed. Just a bad idea all around here, save for Jax FINALLY winning the title.

We recap AJ Styles defending the Smackdown World Title against Shinsuke Nakamura. They had a classic match in Japan and a lot of fans wanted to see it again in WWE. Nakamura won the Royal Rumble and the match was on, with both guys trying to get in the other’s head on the way to New Orleans. So yeah, they’re just going with “it’s a dream match” for the build, which works just fine.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Nakamura is challenging and gets played to the ring by Nita Strauss (awesome guitar player and rather gorgeous at the same time). The army of violinists and drummers help too. Since WWE can’t go more than five minutes without making some kind of a mistake, AJ is billed as Universal Champion. They lock up to start with Nakamura getting the better of it with some knees to the ribs.

Good Vibrations is blocked and AJ gets in his own knee before starting in on the back. Styles grabs a chinlock for a bit before dropkicking him to the floor. That’s not the best idea though as it’s a kick to the head to stagger Styles and the champ is in trouble for the first time. Nakamura’s middle rope kick to the face gets two and that’s a COME ON to set up the strikes to the face.

The running knee to the ribs in the corner gets two but AJ is right back with a belly to back faceplant. A sliding forearm into the pumphandle gutbuster gets two on Nakamura as they’re trading big spots. AJ’s springboard is countered into the Landslide (Samoan driver) for two but Nakamura needs a minute before following up. With nothing else working, Nakamura goes with the kicks, which are countered into the Calf Crusher.

Since it’s Nakamura, that’s reversed into a triangle choke, which AJ powers into something like a fisherman’s buster for another double knockdown. It’s Nakamura up first and trying a running knee in the corner but the bad knee hit the buckle instead. AJ is right back with a Phenomenal Forearm for two in the required kickout of the first finisher.

The springboard 450 hits knees and Nakamura grabs a small package for two of his own. They slug it out until AJ nails the Pele but can’t follow up, allowing Nakamura to knee him in the back of the head for a much nearer fall. The reverse exploder looks to set up the Kinshasa but AJ rolls through into the Styles Clash for the pin to retain at 20:21.

Rating: B+. This was close to being a classic but it’s really just a very good match instead. Part of the problem here is how late the match came in the show. The fans were starting to get worn down and there was only so much energy left in the people. Also it never quite got to the epic level that they were shooting for with Nakamura never really getting the close near falls that he needed to take it to another level. Still that, very good and worthy of a Wrestlemania title match.

Post match they hug in a copy of the earlier match where the Japanese winner of the Royal Rumble was defeated in the title match. Nakamura kneels to him and presents AJ with the title…before hitting him low for a heel turn which should have led to him winning the title. It kind of did, but the US Title instead of the World Title, which is why Nakamura is nowhere near as big a deal just a year later. Also, why should I want to see AJ face Nakamura again when he just beat him clean? Nakamura hits him with two Kinshasas before leaving.

We recap the Kickoff Show. This is another few minutes that could be cut off.

Raw Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Braun Strowman/???

The Bar is defending after Strowman won a battle royal to become #1 contenders despite not having a partner. Therefore the big question for over a month is who would the partner be. The Bar comes out on a Mardi Gras float, complete with people in large headed costumes for a cool visual. There’s no partner for Strowman, who breaks up the float before coming to the ring.

We get the Big Match Intros and Strowman takes the mic to introduce the partner. It’s not someone in the locker room….because it’s one of the fans. Strowman looks around, looks around some more, and then points at someone in the crowd. He walks into the crowd, walks around some more…and picks a ten year old. They walk back to the ring to burn up even more time because SURE THIS SHOW CAN JUST KEEP GOING.

Strowman and the kid get in the ring where the kid is introduced as Nicholas (the son of referee John Cone). Cole: “This is really happening.” He’s never been more right. Oh and the search for a partner and introduction took about four and a half minutes, again because this show can just keep going. Strowman takes Sheamus into the corner with no problem to start before beating up Cesaro as well.

Nicholas is terrified (as he should be) as Cesaro dropkicks Strowman in the knee. A double suplex lets Sheamus drop a top rope knee, setting up an assisted swanton from Sheamus’ shoulders. Strowman comes back with a double crossbody and backdrops Sheamus over the top, bouncing him off the post in the process. To cap it off, Strowman tags Nicholas in. The kid is terrified and tags Strowman back in for the powerslam to Cesaro for the pin and the titles at 3:58.

Rating: F. I….what do you want from me here? This was an idea that completely failed because WWE had no idea what to do here and this is all they could do. Put Heath Slater or someone in there, or have Strowman do a rendition of Me And My Shadow and have him win it by himself. It was a joke that was literally forgotten the next night and stretched the show out even more because they couldn’t just cut this and put Strowman ANYWHERE else. I’m sure Matt Hardy had to win the battle royal right?

Wrestlemania 35 is in New York/Jersey. You don’t hear New Jersey mentioned here, but I guess it’s just implied.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns for the Universal Title. It’s the latest attempt to make Reigns feel like the mega star because the first few times didn’t take. Therefore he won the Elimination Chamber (beating Strowman after Strowman eliminated everyone else), THIS TIME FOR SURE! Lesnar has been champion for a year and barely ever defends the title, because that was so successful the first few times. Their fights over the last few weeks get the music video treatment.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns is challenging and WOW the fans are not happy to see him. To make it a little better, Brock drives him into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs, followed by the German suplexes. Reigns pops up with a Superman Punch to send Brock to the floor as they’re starting fast again. Back in and a clothesline knocks Lesnar over the top and out to the floor as the fans chant things to amuse themselves.

Lesnar catches him with a belly to belly on the floor and another one drops Reigns on his head. There’s the required CM PUNK chant and a third belly to belly sends Reigns face first into the announcers’ table because Brock didn’t realize how much room he had. Back in and Lesnar throws another German suplex, declaring it SUPLEX CITY B****. More suplexes ensue because that’s what Lesnar does in a big time match. Brock gets tired of that and loads up the announcers’ table but Reigns posts him for a much needed breather.

A spear puts Lesnar onto (not through) another table as the fans boo the heck out of this. Or maybe they’re mad about losing a beach ball. The Superman Punch into a pair of spears gets two and now the fans are definitely happy with a beach ball. Brock blocks a spear with a knee to the face that brings Graves out of his chair.

The first F5 gets two and virtually no reaction from the crowd. Another F5 gets another two and Lesnar seems to be getting angrier. To switch it up, another F5 gets another two and Lesnar seems to be getting angrier. The fans declare it boring so Lesnar takes him outside for the fourth F5 through the announcers’ table. Lesnar takes it back inside and stands there as the fans do something else in the crowd that goes from cheering to booing during the same closeup.

The fifth F5 gets two so Lesnar takes the gloves off at Heyman’s orders. The fans call it awful as Lesnar hammers away to bust Reigns open. It’s quite the gusher but Reigns slips out of the F5 and hits a pair of spears for two. Another spear is countered into the sixth F5 to retain the title at 15:51.

Rating: D+. Well of course he does. The problem here is that there is good action in the match but it’s too much of the same stuff and the fans having none of it that took away its value. Couple that with knowing that we’re just waiting on even more Reigns title shots and promos about needing to be champion and there was no way this was going to work. The fans (including myself) were done with this WAY before the match started and that’s all there was to it.

Reigns gets cleaned up and we get the long video package. Back in the stadium, Reigns leaves and the show ends. I stood around for a long time while this was going on because the video doesn’t play in the stadium and it wasn’t clear if the show was over or not.

Overall Rating: C-. I know I (and a lot of other people) say it over and over but it’s just too long. There is a limit to how long you can sit watching wrestling in person or at home and Wrestlemania has blown past that for years now. At some point you just stop caring and there’s very little that can be done to fix such a problem. They need to do something because this isn’t going to work no matter what they do. Cut out a lot of stuff and it’s a great show, but the whole package didn’t work.

There’s a lot of good stuff in here, such as the opener, AJ vs. Nakamura, Charlotte vs. Asuka, the mixed tag and a few other moments here and there. The problem is there’s so much other stuff that either doesn’t work (the main event, the Raw Women’s Title match and the Raw Tag Team Titles are great places to start) that it really doesn’t work. Get rid of some of that and the show is that much better.

Overall, it comes down to the problem of WWE not listening to the fans. They can throw out as much good content as they want, but if you do it to annoy the fans (the US Title match) or to stretch things out even further past its expiration point (the Universal Title), it’s going to come back to mess things up. There is so much on here that fans don’t want to see and WWE just won’t fix it.

That doesn’t help the length either. If you have a show where the final match is something the fans do not want to see, you’re going to have them sitting there, already annoyed at other things in the show, for hours waiting to see something that only WWE seems interested in. How is that supposed to be appealing for over seven hours? Cut it down, give us something else to cheer for, and remember that Wrestlemania is supposed to be about the best of the best, not everyone on the roster.

Ratings Comparison

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D-

Redo: D+

Mustafa Ali vs. Cedric Alexander

Original: B-

Redo: B

Wrestlemania Women’s Battle Royal

Original: D+

Redo: F+

Seth Rollins vs. The Miz vs. Finn Balor

Original: B

Redo: B-

Charlotte vs. Asuka

Original: A-

Redo: A

Jinder Mahal vs. Rusev vs. Randy Orton vs. Bobby Roode

Original: D

Redo: D+

Stephanie McMahon/HHH vs. Kurt Angle/Ronda Rousey

Original: A-

Redo: A

New Day vs. Bludgeon Brothers vs. Usos

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Undertaker vs. John Cena

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss

Original: D+

Redo: D-

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. AJ Styles

Original: B

Redo: B+

Braun Strowman/Nicholas vs. The Bar

Original: F

Redo: F

Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C-

This is an interesting one as most of the matches are within the same ballpark but I liked the show a lot better the first time around. Maybe the good was more fun just after the show, but this really didn’t do it for me nearly as well on another viewing. It’s watchable, but definitely not a very good show.

Here’s the original if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/04/14/wrestlemania-xxxiv-the-same-old-story/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XXXIV
Date: April 8, 2018
Location: Mercedes-Benz Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 78,133
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

So here we are. After all these months, we’ve finally arrived at Wrestlemania and as JR has put it, it don’t get no bigger than this. The main event is Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar (THIS TIME FOR SURE!), along with Ronda Rousey making her long awaited in-ring debut. It’s hard to say what to expect, other than a very long show with a lot of stuff crammed in. Let’s get to it.

I was in the stadium for this show. My seat was in the lower arena in the corner, opposite the hard camera. I was looking almost directly at the upper right hand ring post.

Kickoff Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Apollo, Shelton Benjamin, Konnor, Mike Kanellis, Primo Colon, R-Truth, Dolph Ziggler, Matt Hardy, Baron Corbin Scott Dawson, Fandango, Mojo Rawley, Chad Gable, Luke Gallows, Dash Wilder, Aiden English, Heath Slater, Viktor, Curtis Axel, Tyler Breeze, Bo Dallas, Rhyno, Titus O’Neil, Kane, Tye Dillinger, Goldust, Curt Hawkins, Sin Cara, Zack Ryder, Karl Anderson

Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler are in on commentary for this, along with Saxton. I was coming into the stadium as the wrestlers came down the ramp so my timing couldn’t have been much better. As usual, it’s almost impossible to tell what’s going on to start until Aiden English is eliminated. Anderson gets rid of Viktor and it’s already time for Ziggler to do his last second saves.

There goes Hawkins (who I still can’t wait to see actually win something) R-Truth and Goldust reunite for all of eight seconds before Goldust tosses him. With an incorrect countdown to Wrestlemania clock on the screen, Primo is eliminated as well. Mike Kanellis is out (I forgot he worked here too) as Byron tries to explain the Woken Universe to JR. With Jim not exactly sounding interested, Apollo knees Breeze out.

Viktor is out next and the ring is starting to clear a bit, at least to the point where you can at least see the mat. Matt does his rapid fire rams into the buckles to rock Goldust, drawing another DELETE chant. Ryder loads up the Broski Boot on Ziggler but Mojo Rawley runs him over for another elimination to make the fans hate him even more. Gable eliminates Anderson and Titus gets rid of Gallows and we take a break.

Back (After they showed the commercial in the stadium. You know, the place WHERE WE’RE WATCHING WHAT THEY’RE ADVERTISING!) with Revival getting rid of Apollo. Wilder is sent to the apron but a Dawson save allows them to eliminate Benjamin instead. The Revival is sent out at the same time, followed by Kane getting rid of the Miztourage. We cut to the crowd where John Cena is watching as a fan (because of course he is) and come back to see Cara being tossed as well.

Kane uppercuts Fandango out and Slater makes the mistake of going to the apron, allowing Corbin to get rid of him as well. Gable joins him on the floor, leaving us with Corbin, Goldust, Rawley, Ziggler, Fandango, Kane, O’Neil and Dillinger. That means a Kane vs. Corbin showdown but everyone else interferes before anything happens. Titus starts cleaning house and throws Ziggler over his shoulders, only to get superkicked and clotheslined out. Goldust snaps off the powerslam to Ziggler and it’s Shattered Dreams to Tye.

Ziggler is ready for him though and dumps Goldust but gets punched down by Hardy. That gives us the TEN vs. DELETE showdown, which I didn’t know I needed to see. A Twist of Fate is enough to get rid of Dillinger, followed by Ziggler superkicking Kane’s hands. Kane dumps him without much effort but Corbin dumps his fellow giant to get us down to Mojo, Corbin and Hardy. A fireman’s carry faceplant drops Hardy and the double teaming begins. Not that it matters as we’ve got Bray Wyatt to save Hardy, allowing him to eliminate Rawley. Wyatt takes End of Days but Matt gets rid of Corbin to win at 16:34 as Wyatt wasn’t entered.

Rating: D-. Yeah this was terrible, running WAY too long and making me wonder when it was going to be over. So many of these people just don’t need to be on Wrestlemania (Hawkins, Ascension, R-Truth, Primo, Kanellis, Rawley to name a few) and they’re just extending the show by being in this. Matt winning makes the most sense as it’s not like many other people in the match are doing anything at the moment.

Matt and Bray pose post match as Bray is officially good. Now just don’t get injured and lose your spot again.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Cedric Alexander vs. Mustafa Ali

The title is vacant coming in, Drake Maverick is at ringside and Ali is SubZero for some reason. Cedric shouts a lot and they shake hands for the sake of good sportsmanship. An exchange of shoulders goes to Cedric so Ali snaps off a hurricanrana for our first standoff. Back up and Cedric flips away to grab a headscissors, followed by a dropkick for two. Ali gets sent to the floor and taken down by a big flip dive but there’s no commercial, despite the announcers sounding like they were sending us to one. Nice change of pace for once.

Back in and we hit a waistlock to keep Ali down and a high backdrop gives Cedric two. Another waistlock and a knee to the ribs keep Cedric on target as he certainly has a game plan. Cedric plants him with a Spanish Fly and counters a tornado DDT by crotching Ali on top. With Ali stunned, Cedric goes up as well but gets caught in a super Spanish Fly, which even impresses Cena. The 054 is broken up with a shove to the floor and now we go to the inset ad for Rousey’s debut. At least they didn’t show this in the stadium, which would have almost been just as annoying as showing the whole thing.

Back with Cedric getting caught in a reverse hurricanrana and now the tornado DDT connects. The 054 hits this time but Cedric gets his foot on the ropes. Another 054 attempt misses and Alexander elbows him in the head. Ali gets elbowed down again and the Lumbar Check gives him the title at 12:18.

Rating: B-. This was a lot less competitive than I remember it being as Alexander dominated from the beginning and ran over Ali save for a little flurry near the end. Alexander winning is the right call and I’m glad neither of them went heel here. They both looked good but Ali was a step behind what he usually does here. I had a good time with it and Cedric winning is a feel good moment. That’s all you could ask for here.

Kickoff Show: Wrestlemania Women’s Battle Royal

Naomi, Carmella, Mandy Rose, Peyton Royce, Liv Morgan, Kavita Devi, Sarah Logan, Dakota Kai, Sasha Banks, Mickie James, Bianca Belair, Becky Lynch, Kairi Sane, Taynara Conti, Sonya Deville, Lana, Bayley, Ruby Riott, Natalya, Dana Brooke

Paige and Beth Phoenix are on commentary. Royce, Devi, Kai, Belair, Sane and Conti are from NXT. Lynch, Bayley and Banks are the only ones to get entrances. Carmella poses with the briefcase at the bell and gets gang attacked, meaning it’s an early elimination. It’s Dana being circled (Dana: “THAT’S NOT NICE!”) and gang attacked for the elimination.

Everything breaks down and the NXT women stand tall, meaning it’s time for the required NXT chant. Becky yells at Devi for stealing the orange look and gets slammed for her complaints. Mandy gets tossed and Paige is panicking. Deville is slammed down and Belair is allowed to hit a 450 as we take a break.

Back with Sane being tossed after hitting the Insane Elbow on Riott during the commercial. Devi is tossed and Conti is knocked out a few seconds later. Belair whips Becky with the hair but gets kicked out in short order. Kai kicks Naomi in the face to put her under the ropes and out to the floor. Banks gets rid of Kai and Riott punches Mickie out. Now it’s Royce firing off some kicks but the Riott Squad superkick her out to a chorus of boos.

We’re down to the Squad, Natalya, Banks, Bayley and Naomi on the floor. Natalya suplexes Riott and Logan down but Bayley saves Sasha from the same. Bayley and Sasha get rid of Natalya, Morgan, Riott and Logan in short order. They stare each other down and Bayley gets the quick elimination. Cue Naomi though and the Rear View is good for the win at 9:49.

Rating: D+. I liked it better than the men’s version (that’s not exactly a high bar to clear) but egads what is the point in giving this to Naomi? She’s been doing a grand total of nothing in recent weeks (months really) and there was a story between Banks and Bayley. This feels like giving Orton the Royal Rumble last year in that someone has to win it, even if

And now, the main show.

Khloe and Halle sing America the Beautiful. They’re billed as “the future of music” but I’m not convinced. If that’s the case, I’d expect an original song.

The opening video is about having a good time, just like it was four years ago. The camera walks through the streets of New Orleans and goes into a cafe/club before someone goes onto a balcony to throw beads down to a crowd below. The regular highlight package, set to Kid Rock’s Celebrate and mixed with Wrestlemania XXX highlights (good choice really), takes us into the stadium and my goodness the set looks amazing. It’s designed to look like a Mardi Gras mask, though the bottom looks like a huge mustache over the entrance. Also, several of the wrestlers’ eyes will appear in the mask for a very cool touch.

Intercontinental Title: Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor vs. The Miz

Miz is defending after both challengers beat him in one night, which is totally the same thing or something. Rollins has blue contacts in, I guess making him the ice to the fire that burns it down? Still though, looks pretty cool. In another cool addition, there are some personalized 3D projections for some wrestlers, including Miz’s name with quotes around him saying how great and awesome Miz is. These could only be seen on the monitors so I didn’t notice them until the second match.

Miz, looking even goofier than usual with what looks like a red version of Drew Gulak’s old gear, sends the Miztourage to the back so he can do this on his own. Balor has a rainbow shirt on with a group of fans in identical shirts cheering him on from the stage. The screens say “for everyone” with FOR EVER capitalized.

Balor sends Miz into Rollins to start and some rollups get two for all three of them. With Miz being sent outside, Rollins superkicks Balor in the ribs, only to get sent outside. That means a big flip dive onto the two of them as Balor gets the first real advantage. Everyone heads back inside with Rollins hitting a double Blockbuster for two on Balor. Miz takes Rollins down and grabs a chinlock for a few seconds to slow things down. A neckbreaker gets two on Balor and it’s back to the chinlock.

Balor fights up and stomps on Miz’s ribs but gets caught with a Sling Blade from Rollins. Seth isn’t done and hits a suicide dive on both guys, only to get caught in a Sling Blade from Balor. Miz’s short DDT gets two on Seth and he boots Rollins in the face to break up a springboard. A dragon screw legwhip sets up the Figure Four on Balor but here’s Rollins with a frog splash for the break. That looked much better on screen as you didn’t see Rollins until he was on the top and ready to jump.

They all head outside again with Balor escaping the shoulder breaking barricade bomb. Instead it’s a Sling Blade to put Rollins down but he’s back up with an enziguri to rock Balor. That earns him a Pele and the 1916 for two as Balor is stunned. Miz catches Balor on top but gets caught in a buckle bomb, leaving Balor to take the superplex into a Falcon Arrow but Balor reverses into a small package for two. A Skull Crushing Finale gets two on Rollins to cap off a rocking sequence.

Another Finale is reversed into a rollup for two but Balor gets crotched on top. Rollins goes up top with him but Miz is right there with a super Skull Crushing Finale (looked better than it sounds). The cover is broken up with a Coup de Grace and a second hits Miz clean. Rollins runs over with a Stomp to drive Balor’s head into Miz’s back, followed by the regular version to pin Miz for the title at 15:30.

Rating: B. This was the kind of match you expect from the Intercontinental Title as all three were working hard and the match felt very crisp at the same time. Miz will get the title back someday and break both records, as he should. I’m sure Balor will get the title as well, which is nothing but good for the Intercontinental Title. If nothing else it’s cool to see the former World Champions becoming Intercontinental Champions. That wasn’t always the case (After Pedro Morales, the next former World Champion to win an Intercontinental Title was HHH in 2001) but it’s a good way to give the title some more instant credibility.

Ad for the Andre documentary. I’ve heard good things.

Cena is still a fan. How cool would it be to have him next to you at Wrestlemania?

We recap Charlotte vs. Asuka, which is title vs. streak. Charlotte has dominated the Women’s Division for nearly three years now but Asuka hasn’t a match since debuting in late 2015. The match here is Queen vs. Empress with Charlotte saying she’s ready for Asuka.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Asuka

Charlotte is defending and copies HHH’s entrance from Wrestlemania XXX with a throne and three masked men helping her off. These three: Riddick Moss, Tino Sabbatelli and Dan Matha. I’m assuming this was something about she once helped HHH off the throne but now she has her own, but it felt like a tribute to HHH more than anything else. Asuka on the other hand has 3D masks superimposed over her entrance. You know, in case it wasn’t scary enough already.

They fight over a wristlock to start with both of them flipping away, leaving Charlotte to hit the strut. Charlotte trips her down and goes for the leg but Asuka kicks her away, setting up a knee shot for two. Back up and Asuka’s hip attack is blocked so it’s time for the chops. The second hip attack sends Charlotte outside and you can see the cockiness on Asuka’s face.

Charlotte gets back in and it’s time to start cranking on the arm to set up the Asuka Lock. It’s way too early for that though so Charlotte strikes her in the face a few times but has to break another attempt. This time it’s a backpack Stunner to get Charlotte out of trouble and some knees to the head (think the Stomp but with a knee) put Asuka down again. The moonsault misses though as Asuka catches her in a triangle (SWEET!) in the middle of the ring.

That’s reverses into a Boston crab but Asuka rolls her way out of it. They head to the apron (becoming way too common) and Asuka suplexes her down to the floor in a big crash. Back in and the missile dropkick puts Charlotte down for two and Asuka is getting frustrated. They go up top and it’s a super Spanish Fly (I believe that’s three on the night so far) to give Charlotte a big breather.

Natural Selection is countered into something like an Octopus Hold on the mat before switching to the Asuka Lock. Charlotte reverses that with a rollup before cutting Asuka in half with a spear for a VERY near fall. With Asuka half done, Charlotte grabs the Figure Eight, balancing on one hand because of the banged up arm. After hanging on as long as she can, Asuka ACTUALLY TAPS to retain Charlotte’s title at 13:05.

Rating: A-. I was kind of stunned at the amount of time this had as I would have bet on it being at least five minutes longer. This felt like a clash of titans and Charlotte winning gives her a very strong case for being the best of all time. Aside from not being around as long as some others, she has the resume, skill and pure skill to make her the best WWE has ever seen.

Having Asuka do a lot of her usual stuff (albeit cranked up a few notches) was a great way to set up the match as Charlotte was able to hang on and use what she had seen along with her natural athleticism to be ready for what Asuka brought. It was hard hitting, told a story and was an instant classic. Great stuff here, which shouldn’t be that surprising.

Post match Asuka says Charlotte was ready for Asuka and congratulates her.

With Charlotte on the ramp and Asuka in the ring, a referee tells Cena something (the words “Taker is here” may have been spoken) so Cena jumps the barricade (security around here sucks) and sprints up the ramp. That took something away from the women’s moment. Do the commercial and then move on to the Cena angle. It’s not going to make that much of a difference and lets the women have their full moment.

US Title: Bobby Roode vs. Rusev vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Randy Orton

Orton is defending after having a three way feud with Roode and Mahal for the last few weeks. Rusev pinned Orton in a tag match to be added, along with being one of the hottest guys in the company. Aiden English (who has gotten his hair cut since the battle royal) introduces Rusev, in rhyme of course. You can see the fans heading for the concourse during the entrances, which is rather interesting given how popular Rusev was over the weekend. Aside from a Wrestlemania shirt, I saw more Rusev Day shirts than anything else. I guess the repelling powers of Mahal and Orton are too much even for Rusev Day.

The early threat of an RKO sends Mahal bailing to the floor and Rusev dropkicks Roode to the floor. Rusev cannonballs off the apron to take out Orton and Mahal as Phillips acknowledges the popularity of Rusev Day. Back in and Roode’s Blockbuster gets two, leaving Mahal to get punched back and forth between Roode and Orton. A superplex brings Roode down but it’s Mahal asking Rusev for an alliance.

Rusev, realizing that he should have been Mahal last year, stomps Mahal down in the corner instead before getting two off a belly to back suplex. Roode is back with a spinebuster for two on Mahal but gets posted by Orton. Now it’s Rusev kicking Orton down until a spinwheel kick misses. The hanging DDT plants Rusev and English is starting to panic. A pair of RKO’s take out English and Rusev, followed by one to Mahal for a near fall with Roode making the save. Mahal takes a Machka Kick but can’t get the Accolade. Instead he has to deal with Sunil Singh and walks into the Khallas to make Mahal champion at 8:15.

Rating: D. And that is the big middle finger to the fans who thought they were getting somewhere with the Rusev Day chants. WWE wants Jinder Mahal to be pushed in this role and the lack of success and complete apathy to his push means nothing. This is what WWE wants and you can chant RUSEV DAY and buy his merchandise all you want. Mahal is WWE’s guy right now and you can just deal with it until they’re tired of him. Rusev taking the fall here is all the evidence you need: your voices don’t matter here and get over it. The match was as uninteresting as these four were going to be, which was completely expected.

The Fashion Police try to give Mick Foley a ticket but Breeze likes his style, driving Fandango to his knees in terror.

We recap Ronda Rousey/Kurt Angle vs. HHH/Stephanie McMahon. Rousey signed with WWE earlier in the year but Angle thinks HHH and Stephanie are just trying to use her. This set off a feud between the two teams with Rousey beating HHH much, only to have Stephanie put her through a table. The match was set up because Rousey needs a debut and putting her in a tag match is the best possible idea. It lets them hide her negatives and accentuate her positives so this has some potential. Of course there’s also the potential that it’s really just about Stephanie, which certainly wouldn’t be outside the realm of possibility.

Stephanie McMahon/HHH vs. Ronda Rousey/Kurt Angle

In a near repeat of last year, HHH and Stephanie come out on matching motorcycles with a group of motorcycles accompanying them. I don’t know if HHH is just that big a fan of motorcycles or if he just wanted to see his wife as a biker chick again (fair enough) but this didn’t do much for me. Rousey comes out in a Roddy Piper style kilt, in what shouldn’t be a shock to anyone paying attention whatsoever. The fans give Rousey a nice reaction and Stephanie pie faces her before the bell. They’re already milking the heck out of Rousey murdering her and a hair pull makes things even worse.

The men start things off with the fans telling Angle that he still has it. Angle cranks on the arm as they’re actually treating this like a tag match to start. Stephanie offers a low bridge though and HHH sends him into the steps to really take over. A suplex brings Angle back inside and we’re just waiting on this to explode. Back in and HHH calls for and delivers a spinebuster for two. Angle kicks him away and nearly into Stephanie but HHH puts the brakes on in time. A suplex drops HHH, only to have Stephanie pull Rousey off the apron. I’ll give Stephanie this: she knows how to be an amazing heel.

Another kick to the floor is enough for the tag to Rousey and the place goes coconuts. Rousey EXPLODES into the corner (Graves: “CALL THE COPS!”) to pull Stephanie in and scores with a running clothesline. With Stephanie in big trouble (Rouse: “COME ON B****!”), Rousey takes her into the corner and unloads with rights and lefts before throwing Stephanie again. It’s already time for the arm….and Stephanie blocks it by stacking her up.

You can hear the air go out of the stadium, mainly because STEPHANIE MCMAHON JUST BLOCKED THE ARMBAR THAT MMA FIGHTERS (not to mention Olympic level athletes) COULDN’T BLOCK! I mean, is anyone really surprised? It’s the dumbest, most Stephanie praising thing that could have been done so of course they went there. Rousey lets go and gets DDT’d as the announcers try to explain that Stephanie grew up in wrestling so she knows how to do that. Ignore that she’s wrestled one match in over fourteen years; she knows wrestling.

Back up and Rousey goes into Beast Mode, setting up a spinning Samoan drop for two with HHH pulling the referee out. Rousey: “You’re the biggest cheater I’ve ever seen! I’m going to go continue beating up your wife ok?” HHH pulls Rousey outside as well but Angle takes him onto the announcers’ table. Kurt gets thrown onto the other table so HHH can check on Stephanie. He turns around to see Rousey though and it’s time for some intergender violence.

You can see HHH thinking about it and the fans are WAY into this one. He finally agrees to it and Rousey UNLOADS on him with rights and lefts to drive HHH into the corner. A fireman’s carry has HHH in trouble but Stephanie makes the save. This was GREAT with HHH selling the heck out of the beating and making Rousey look that much better. Stephanie slaps Rousey for some reason and the chase is on, this time with Stephanie sending him into the barricade.

HHH takes Rousey down though and it’s time for Angle to unleash the suplexes. The rolling German suplexes have HHH in trouble but he tries a quick Pedigree. That’s reversed into a catapult into the corner (he always takes that so well) and the Angle Slam gets two. There go the straps (that never gets old) but Stephanie breaks up the ankle lock. Angle doesn’t seem to mind and puts the ankle lock on her (doesn’t look great this time around). That’s broken up with a Pedigree but Rousey makes a save.

A powerbomb attempt to Rousey is countered into a hurricanrana (good one too) and there’s the armbar on HHH. The place (including me) goes even more nuts until Stephanie makes the save with a sleeper (called a rear naked choke, which of course Stephanie knows how to do). That’s reversed into another armbar attempt but Stephanie blocks AGAIN.

The ankle lock goes on HHH and the villains grab hands until HHH sends Angle into the women for the break. Angle and Rousey both get posted and it’s time for the double Pedigree. Kurt sends HHH to the floor and the armbar….is blocked for a third time. Rousey FINALLY gets it on and Stephanie taps at 20:38. Dana White is shown applauding Rousey from the front row.

Rating: A-. I can’t give it anything higher than that due to Stephanie going toe to toe with Rousey (at grappling nonetheless) but this was INCREDIBLY fun and far better than anything I was expecting. They pulled every trick they could to make Rousey look better here and it worked to near perfection. She looked like someone who had been doing this for years and came off like a star who is in this for the long haul. Absolutely incredible here and as entertaining as it could have been. I had a blast, Stephanie issues aside. The ending was fine and the most important part, so we’ll call this a major success.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Bludgeon Brothers vs. Usos

The Usos are defending, the New Day has 3D pancakes and, with the call of the DragonZord, Woods’ trombone summons an army of little people dressed like pancakes. I do like the Bludgeon Brothers’ logo with the arms holding hammers to make a B. Kofi wastes no time hitting Trouble in Paradise on Jimmy but Harper makes the save. The Brothers pulls Big E. to the floor for a beating and then powerbomb Woods into the post for good measure.

Back in and Kofi’s beating continues but Jimmy tags himself in and starts kicking away. Some superkicks do a little good but Harper shoves Jimmy into the corner. Jey tags himself in as well (must be a family thing) and starts kicking away, only to have Rowan break up the double Us.

A superkick takes Rowan off the apron…but he catches the double suicide dive. The Usos don’t mind and suplex him down on the floor, leaving Harper to escape the Midnight Hour. Back in and Rowan breaks up the Tower of Doom by shoving the champs to the floor. For some reason Kofi charges at Harper on the top, setting up an assisted super sitout powerbomb to give Harper and Rowan the titles at 5:55.

Rating: D+. This feels like a victim of time but it’s not the worst thing in the world. They went out of their way to make the Brothers look like killers and that’s exactly what happened here. I could have gone for a little more time given to the match, but something has to be cut on a show this long and this was one of the most logical choices. The Brothers won though and that’s what matters the most.

Here’s John Cena for a match, though no opponent has been named yet. A second referee runs down though and tells Cena something is wrong. Cena grabs the referee as he’s shaking his head no. This goes on for a bit….and there go the lights….because Elias is here. Elias: “Were you expecting somebody else?”

Well that someone doesn’t have the charisma Elias has, nor does he have the talent that Elias carries in his soul. Cena bails back to his seat in disgust and leaves Elias alone to sing his song, insulting the fans as he always does. As you might guess, Cena gets up and cleans house by initiating his finishing sequence.

Cena shouts about that being all there is and goes up the ramp…as the lights go out. A spotlight comes on in the ring and Undertaker’s coat and hat are on the mat. Some VERY bad looking CGI lightning hits the gear (looked far better in person, possibly due to the surprise) and panic has set in. And then, a gong strikes. Undertaker appears with his full entrance, meaning it’s time to go! I know I didn’t want to see the match but that entrance, all 6:02 of it from the gong striking to the opening bell, will never stop being mesmerizing.

Undertaker vs. John Cena

Undertaker goes straight at him in the corner and hammers away, including the running clothesline. Old School sets up Snake Eyes and the WORST BIG BOOT EVER. When you’re sitting hundreds of feet away from the ring and can see the gap between the boot and the hands in front of Cena’s face, it’s a really bad sign. But remember, HE STILL HAS IT. The chokeslam is countered into a belly to back suplex but Undertaker sits up before the Shuffle, sending Cena falling off his feet in shock. The chokeslam and Tombstone end Cena completely clean at 2:42. Undertaker doesn’t even seem to be sweating.

So….that happened. I definitely like it better than seeing Undertaker stumble through a long match and it certainly should be memorable. Of course it’s not likely to mean anything until next Wrestlemania season, but this is the perfect payoff: Cena has been acting like a complete and utter jerk this whole time and Undertaker threw him the most decisive beating of his career. Even the Lesnar squash saw Cena get in a little offense and a near fall. Here it was a single suplex and that was it. I’m fine with Undertaker going out like this, but at this point I have no reason to believe it’s over.

Hall of Fame video. Hillbilly Jim should be done any minute now.

Here’s the big presentation to the crowd.

Jeff Jarrett. Nice reaction and the strut still looks good.

Mark Henry. No salmon jacket, no buys.

Hillbilly Jim. My hero as a young Kentucky boy.

Ivory. She’s looking better now than she did when she was active.

Jarius JJ Robertson. Did you know he’s cute? Wasn’t sure if that was made clear.

Dudley Boyz. Yep. Next.

Goldberg. I’m hoping those chants aren’t piped in. He does a Green Lantern pose with the ring to wrap things up.

We recap Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn. Owens and Zayn have been going after the two of them for months now and it wasn’t clear where things were going. Then Bryan was cleared to wrestle again and everything came together at once. The evil Canadians have been attacking both of them, including giving Shane a hernia. They’ve been fired, but Bryan wants one more match with their jobs on the line. The question here is whether or not Shane turns on Bryan, which could go either way.

Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens

Shane is in a YES jersey, with the YES being pretty clearly taped on. That sounds like a way for a quick switch to YUP (Owens and Sami’s battle cry) for me. Bryan gets his own entrance, with a Terminator style video, showing the YES chant spreading around the world, even in mainstream sports, before locking in on the home of the YES Movement, which happens to be right here in the Superdome. You can see the emotion on Bryan’s face as he comes to the ring and it’s nearly moving to see.

Owens and Zayn’s music hit but they come in from behind for the big beatdown, including an apron bomb to Bryan. That might be enough for him as the medics come in to check. Even the fans don’t seem to buy this one, as they probably shouldn’t. Shane is willing to fight on his own and YES, we get the lame punches on Owens in the corner. The jumping elbow to the jaw puts Owens down but Shane has to beat up Zayn as well.

Now of course he can do that at the same time, including a jumping kick to Owens and a Maivia Hurricane to Sami. The old hernia pops up though and brings Shane down as we have a stretcher for Bryan. We settle down to Sami taking over on Shane before it’s off to Owens (thankfully in a KO Mania III shirt) to step on the stomach. Owens: “MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY! MONEY ISN’T GOING TO SAVE YOU NOW!”

A superkick sets up the Blue Thunder Bomb for two but Owens gets knocked to the floor. The Helluva Kick misses and Sami gets caught in the Tree of Woe. Of course Shane is fine enough to hit the Coast to Coast but Owens makes the save with a backsplash onto the bad stomach. The frog splash gets two but Bryan comes back in for the save. That’s not enough for a hot tag so Sami gets out of a chinlock by slamming Sami into the mat.

NOW it’s off to Bryan for the first time in nearly three years. He takes his time coming in (as he should) before hammering away on Zayn. There’s the moonsault into the running clothesline, followed by a running knee off the apron to Owens. A missile dropkick puts Bryan down but he grabs his head….and nips up because he’s fine. That was a scary but great moment. The running corner dropkicks rock Owens and Zayn and a top rope hurricanrana drops Sami. Kevin breaks up the knee though and the Helluva Kick is only good for two. My goodness finishers mean nothing on Wrestlemania night.

Owens tells him to stay retired and gets two more off the Pop Up Powerbomb. Since we haven’t seen him in long enough, Shane takes Owens down and we’re back to even again. Back in and Sami hammers away while asking how Bryan could do this to them. That’s enough for Bryan and he unloads with the strikes and YES Kicks, even hitting the big one. The running knee into the YES Lock is good for the submission at 15:25 to keep Owens and Zayn fired.

Rating: C+. This was of course ALL about Bryan, to the point where even Shane’s usual superhero efforts seem to pale in comparison. They didn’t go with the stupid swerve finish for the sake of the storyline because this needed to be Bryan’s night. To go from having no chance to wrestling in a huge Wrestlemania match is more than you could ever ask for and he doesn’t look like he’s lost a step. If he’s back full time, WWE just got one heck of a bonus. Not a great match, but the ending was what it should have been.

Bryan and Shane celebrate with Bryan going to the floor to kiss Brie in a nice moment.

Attendance announcement.

We recap Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax. Bliss had been her friend for a long time but was eventually caught making fun of Nia’s size and weight. This didn’t sit well with Jax and it was time to SMASH. And take the title. Bliss is suddenly ultra confident despite being a foot shorter and about 160lbs lighter.

Raw Women’s Title: Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss

Bliss is challenging and comes down from the set on a mini platform. So that’s what happened to Bad News Barrett’s stage. Hang on a second though as Nia needs to destroy Mickie James before the bell, meaning this is truly one on one. Bliss slaps Nia due to high levels of stupid and Jax’s growl gives us a horror movie level scream in response. Makes sense actually.

There’s a gorilla press to plant Bliss as the dominance isn’t taking time tonight. That’s not the beginning of the end for some reason as Bliss starts in on the knee to take over, including a double knee to the knee in the corner. A guillotine choke is shrugged off but Nia goes shoulder first into the post (WAY too common of a spot tonight). Twisted Bliss to the floor drops Nia and the DDT gets two, shocking/scaring the heck out of Bliss all over again.

For some reason Bliss calls Nia pathetic and slaps her a few times….until Nia grabs her by the throat. A charge into the corner is cut off by another kick to the knee but Bliss’ sunset flip is tossed into the corner. Bliss is right back with a poke to the eye but Nia is right back with one of the hardest Alabama Slams you’ll ever see. Since Bliss is mostly dead, it’s a super Samoan drop to put her away for good and make Nia champion at 9:01.

Rating: D+. I was firmly in the camp of this needing to be about a minute long with Bliss getting in nothing beyond a few harmless forearms and I’m still of that state of mind. Bliss didn’t look like a joke here but there’s a time to squash the heck out of someone and that’s what we had here. Jax is a monster and should have destroyed Bliss in short order. Bliss is going to be fine with one more of those cocky promos and it really would have been better to have her get crushed here. The ending did look great though and the right person won, but it’s the wrong path to get here.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match. AJ Styles is the ace of the show and has beaten everyone put in front of him. Shinsuke Nakamura won the Royal Rumble to earn this shot and we have a dream match. Both guys have promised to win and hopefully they don’t collapse under the expectations. The hype video goes throughout AJ’s career, including clips of him on Thunder and from TNA (!) because WWE can just do something like that.

Smackdown World Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. AJ Styles

Nakamura is challenging and gets played to the ring by an army of violinists plus Alice Cooper guitarist Nita Strauss playing the heck out of a guitar. That’s one of the better Wrestlemania entrances I’ve ever seen with Strauss’ playing stealing the show. AJ’s graphic lists him as the Universal Champion. If nothing else he gets a cool looking spinning ring of blue light around him once he gets inside for a cool visual.

Feeling out process to start as the announcers talk about the Japanese match without talking about the Japanese match. AJ drives him into the corner but gets shoved away as they’re still in low first gear. They hit the mat with Nakamura kicking him in the face before doing his head on the chest arm waving deal. A knee drop keeps AJ in trouble but he breaks up Good Vibrations to offer some mind games of his own.

Back to the corner we go with a hard forearm rocking Styles but he grabs a backbreaker for his first major offense. A knee drop gets two on Nakamura and it’s off to the chinlock. The drop down into a dropkick sends Nakamura outside but he kicks the leg out from the apron. A kick to the head really puts Styles in trouble and a middle rope kick to the face makes it even worse. Nakamura tells him to come on but kicks AJ down. Well dude if you want him to COME ON you have to give him the chance to pull it off.

The running knee in the corner rocks AJ but he’s right back with a pumphandle gutbuster for two. It’s Nakamura’s turn to come back in a hurry though and a Landslide (Samoan Driver) gets another near fall. Some right hands in the corner have AJ rocked but he kicks the knee out to take Nakamura down. There’s the Calf Crusher but Nakamura reverses into a triangle choke (another very popular move this weekend).

That’s broken up with something close to a Death Valley Driver and they’re both down again. Nakamura gets in the kick, only to come up holding the damaged leg. There’s some logic to Styles’ plan at least. The running knee hits the buckle and the Phenomenal Forearm gets two.

AJ needs to bring out the mega guns and tries the springboard 450, which hits the bad knee and gives Nakamura two off a small package. They slug it out until AJ Peles him down, only to get kneed in the back of the head. Nakamura has had it and drives knees into the head before slapping AJ a few times. The Kinshasa is loaded up but AJ rolls through, straight into the Styles Clash to retain at 20:20.

Rating: B. Yeah they didn’t really come close to the expectations here and I can’t say I’m surprised. They didn’t have much going on in the way of telling a story other than both guys hitting their big moves and countering a few of the other’s. There’s no reason to hate either of them and that makes for a dull match if you don’t build to a big finish. It’s certainly good but it never hit that next level that people were expecting. Oh and both Royal Rumble winners lose in their title shots. What a great use of the pay per view.

Post match Nakamura presents AJ with the title….and hits him low (with some Ric Flair level force) to turn heel. Nakamura mocks the fallen champion and kicks him to the floor for Kinshasa. For some reason he flashes a Diamond Cutter sign as he goes up the ramp. Maybe he’s a DDP Yoga user?

Now this was good, but why not do this BEFORE NAKAMURA LOST CLEAN? Do it at the worthless Fastlane or on any show before this match. Give them something more personal to fight over, because what we got for a story here was lacking a bit. I don’t get why WWE thinks this has as much of an impact after a loss, because it really doesn’t work. If nothing else have Nakamura hit him low to steal the title after Kinshasa didn’t get the job done. Just something other than this.

Kickoff Show recap.

Raw Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Braun Strowman/???

Strowman won the shot by winning a tag team battle royal on his own and his partner has been quite the topic of debate coming into this show. The Bar comes out on a Mardi Gras float to the tune of When the Saints Go Marching In before switching to their usual entrance. I was worried I was a bit too tired and imagined all the costumed people on the float but not so much apparently.

Strowman comes out and turns the float over off the stage but has no partner. He knows everyone wants to know who it is, but he wanted to wait until he got to New Orleans. That’s because his partner….is a member of the WWE Universe. Strowman looks around forever and finally sees someone in the crowd. He goes into the crowd (this is taking WAY too long) and finds….a ten year old boy. The boy, named Nicholas, is introduced as Strowman’s partner as Graves is losing his mind.

Nicholas is terrified (completely understandable) as Braun starts (good idea) with Sheamus. Graves isn’t sure about this as Nicholas probably has algebra tomorrow. Fans: “WE WANT NICHOLAS!” A chokeslam gets two on Cesaro but Braun gets double suplexes. With Sheamus talking trash to Nicholas, he drops a top rope knee for two. On Braun, not the kid.

Braun crossbodies both of them down and Sheamus gets backdropped over the corner for a NASTY fall, hitting both the post and the steps on the way down. That’s enough for the tag to Nicholas….who tags straight out again. The powerslam on Cesaro is good for the pin and the titles at 3:57.

Rating: F. I laughed when it happened but the more I think about this, the worse and worse it looks. If you want to do this over a comedy team or something then fine, but after everything Cesaro and Sheamus have done over the last few years, this is the best they can get? Having Brains Strowman come out there would have been a better move as this comes off as a stupid idea where they just refused to pick something and went with the first stupid idea that came to their heads. Put Hawkins out there if this is the best thing you can come up with. I didn’t like this idea as it makes it into a total joke, which shouldn’t be the case.

Wrestlemania XXXV is in New York. Well New Jersey but whatever. I’m good on that one.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns. Lesnar won the Universal Title at last year’s show and Reigns won the Elimination Chamber after doing nothing main event level for months. Reigns went on to call Lesnar out for not being here all the time and just doing what’s best for himself, which earned Reigns a series of beatings. But hey, this time for sure, right?

Universal Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns is challenging and nope, the plan didn’t work. As you might expect, the fans boo him out of the building all over again because THIS ISN’T WORKING. After the Big Match Intros, Lesnar hits three German suplexes in the first thirty seconds. Reigns is right back up with two Superman Punches and a running clothesline to put Lesnar on the floor. Brock grabs a belly to belly on the outside, followed by a second one with Reigns almost landing on his head.

The fans chant for CM Punk as Brock loads up the announcers’ table. Another belly to belly sends Reigns face first into the table (no elevation at all) and Brock hits another German suplex back inside. A seventh suplex (with a fan providing helpful signs) is almost completely flat as we’re just waiting on the beach balls now.

There’s another belly to belly, during which time the fans started doing the Wave. A fan in my section started shouting about how the fans should just leave if they’re that bored because they’re ruining it for the rest of the fans. He was promptly given a DELETE chant because wrestling fans are rather horrible people at times. It’s time for another table as the fans want Johnny Gargano.

Reigns posts him on the floor as the fans aren’t reacting in the slightest. A spear sends Lesnar over the table (still no reaction) as the Wave is in full swing. The fans loudly boo….because a beach ball is taken away. Reigns gets two off a Superman Punch and two spears and it’s beach ball time again. Brock blocks a spear with a knee for two, followed by the F5 for the same. The fans still aren’t interested, because this just isn’t anything they care about.

F5, two, F5, two (Brock: “MOTHERF*****!”), the fans chant BORING (actually acknowledging the match for a change, F5 through a table (to NO reaction), F5, two. That’s enough for Lesnar as he takes the gloves off and just unloads with the hard right hands as the fans declare this awful. Reigns is GUSHING blood but hits two spears for a near fall. Not that it matters as a sixth F5 retains the title at 15:49, shocking the heck out of the crowd.

Rating: D. Here’s the thing: the match itself is a hard hitting video game match and had some entertaining spots. If you watch it in a complete vacuum, it’s actually good. The problem is, at least in this case, you can’t just ignore everything else and watch the match on its own. This was a complete and utter rejection of everything going on and you can’t ignore it. I’m not sure how much more needs to be done to make it clear that Reigns isn’t working but this might be it. Either that or we try to do this again NEXT year, just because that’s what WWE is obsessed with doing.

I have no idea where they go from here as Lesnar might not be around much longer and other than Reigns, there’s no one that could conceivably take the title from him. Reigns winning here was the logical call, but I can see why they pulled the plug. If it’s that bad though and the fans have rejected him this many times in a row, it’s time to admit defeat and move on. Hopefully that’s what the loss means, but stranger things have happened, just with Roman alone actually.

After a long highlight package, as in about seven minutes long, a cleaned up Reigns walks up the ramp to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. You know, there’s a pattern to these mega long shows. For the last three years, they’ve all started off white hot for about two hours but then they hit a road block and go sailing off a cliff. In Dallas it was the Cell, in Orlando it was the mixed tag and here it was pretty much everything after Rousey’s match (Bryan and Styles’ matches ranged from good to acceptable).

Maybe it’s having Reigns as the big finish or maybe it’s just the length of the shows, but they simply can’t maintain the momentum they set up at the start of these shows. It’s like they just run out of ideas and throw whatever nonsense they have on the screen, which may or may not work. I can get that with a small writing staff, but with THIRTY WRITERS put together into two groups, there’s never an excuse to run out of ideas this quickly.

Overall, the show is more good than bad, thanks to the first two matches, the mixed tag, Bryan and AJ, but they really needed to shed….oh a good two hours to get this down to manageable. Notice that I keep saying that year after year. Seven hours is just not something that anyone can pull off because eventually your buzz goes away. It’s happened to me three years in a row and I can’t imagine I’m in the minority. Just give us a break at some point because not everyone needs to be on the show. If you’re only good enough to be thrown into the battle royal, odds are you don’t belong on the card.

Really, the mixed tag main eventing would have made more sense (like you would EVER have to ask Stephanie if she wanted to main event Wrestlemania). If they were going to pull the plug on Reigns winning the title here, go with the feel good, fun match and let Rousey look like the big star. It would make more sense but Reigns seemed to be set in stone for that spot, pretty obvious reaction aside.

All in all, Wrestlemania XXXIV is a good show that needs a MAJOR edit to make it work. Switch the lineup around, shorten some matches, cut some matches (in other words, GET THE TIME LOWER) and you might have something great on your hands. As it is though, it falls into the same category as the other two mega long shows: a hot start, but they run out of gas because there’s a limit to how much wrestling any large group of fans can take.

Results

Seth Rollins b. The Miz and Finn Balor – Stomp to Miz

Charlotte b. Asuka – Figure Eight

Jinder Mahal b. Randy Orton, Bobby Roode and Rusev – Khallas to Rusev

Ronda Rousey/Kurt Angle b. HHH/Stephanie McMahon – Armbar to McMahon

Bludgeon Brothers b. New Day and Usos – Double sitout superbomb to Kingston

Undertaker b. John Cena – Tombstone

Shane McMahon/Daniel Bryan b. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens – YES Lock to Zayn

Nia Jax b. Alexa Bliss – Super Samoan drop

AJ Styles b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Styles Clash

Braun Strowman/Nicholas b. The Bar – Powerslam to Cesaro

Brock Lesnar b. Roman Reigns – F5

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