IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2005
Date: August 21, 2005
Location: MCI Center, Washington DC.
Attendance: 18,156
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

It’s a big show here with a card that doesn’t quite live up to the hype. We have a huge main event between Hulk Hogan and Shawn Michaels, but after that it’s kind of a downgrade with Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero with a kid (symbolically) above the ring. The World Title matches see John Cena defending against Chris Jericho and JBL challenging Batista in a No Holds Barred match. Maybe they can make it work though so let’s get to it.

Lilian Garcia sings the Star Spangled Banner.

The opening video looks at the big matches, which works a bit better. Granted that might be because it’s set to Remedy by Seether and I always liked that song. Shawn vs. Hogan gets its own section of the video, because nothing on this show comes close to it (fair enough).

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Jordan is defending and it’s a German suplex into the Crossface to make Benoit champion in 25 seconds. Now THAT is how you wake a crowd up while giving Jordan exactly what he deserved in Honky Tonk Man style.

Vickie Guerrero comes in to see Eddie and asks him to calm down. This isn’t about Dominic because it’s all about Eddie not being able to beat Rey. Eddie wants someone to carry on the Guerrero legacy and Vickie talks about him having a heart of gold. But there’s also an evil inside of him that won’t leave Rey alone. Eddie: “So now you don’t think I can beat Rey?” Eddie throws her out and reassures himself that he’ll win.

We recap Matt Hardy vs. Edge. Lita left Matt for Edge while Matt was hurt and then he was released. Matt invaded Raw a few times to get at Edge but then he was rehired and it was just Matt Hardy again. Tonight is the big fight.

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

Hardy runs to the ring and starts the fight on the floor as it feels like Matt wants to kill him. They get inside with Matt hammering away and a loud HARDY chant. Matt grabs a rear naked choke but Edge gets to the ropes and then back outside. Back in and Edge hits a headbutt to put Matt on the ropes as the fans are all over Lita.

A spear through the ropes puts them back on the floor but Matt hammers away with right hands to the head. More right hands in the corner have Edge in trouble so he drops Matt face first onto the post to knock him silly. Even Lita looks concerned as Matt is busted open. Matt can barely stand so Edge kicks him in the head….and the referee stops it.

Rating: D+. So yeah Matt comes back, gets in a few shots, and then gets busted open for a referee stoppage in five minutes. The first minute or so felt like a war but then it was little more than a hard hitting match with one big spot. This is the kind of thing that needed to go about eighteen minutes with both of them bleeding, but that would suggest that Matt was something important, rather than just a way to get Edge over. I can go with that as Matt is Matt and Edge has been a near main eventer for a long time now, but this was a major disappointment after the setup.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. Eddie can’t beat Rey and has been driven completely crazy over jealousy and his failures. Therefore, Eddie is going to try something else so he brought up that Rey’s son Dominic was really Eddie’s biological son. Eddie wanted Dominic, but a social worker said they had to settle this, so a ladder match was made instead.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

Tony Chimel: “The following contest is a ladder match for the custody of Dominic!” And that’s your most ridiculous ring introduction of all time. Dominic and the social worker are in the front row so Eddie goes over to them for a rather evil smile. Rey comes out and hugs Dominic so Eddie goes over and shakes the social worker’s hand. We’re ready to go and Eddie talks a lot of trash as they stare each other down to start.

Eddie gets in a cheap shot to knock Rey into the corner but Rey monkey flips him out to the floor. A whip sends Rey into the ladder though and he has to springboard in with a dropkick to knock Eddie off. Eddie goes to get another ladder so Rey dropkicks that one into his face, followed by a springboard seated senton to the floor. Back in and Eddie saves Rey’s climb with a sunset bomb but he can’t hold on, making it look rather messy. Eh to be fair that’s a pretty tricky spot.

Eddie hits him in the ribs and face with the ladder before sandwiching Rey between some ladders. The fans know what’s coming and are rather pleased with the slingshot hilo onto a ladder onto Rey onto another ladder. Rey gets up and uses a ladder to bridge his way up top to cut Eddie off, including a backdrop onto the bridged ladder. The crash bangs up Rey’s knee so he climbs rather slowly, allowing Eddie to dropkick the ladder out and hurt the knee even more.

Eddie reverse powerbombs him ribs first into the ladder on the top rope and there’s that evil smile again. That’s enough for another climb but Dominic comes in to shake the ladder. That just annoys Eddie so he yells at Dominic and demands a hug. Eddie: “I’m your new daddy now!” Eddie goes to hit him but Rey makes the save as Dominic is back with the social worker who let him jump the barricade and interfere in a violent match.

Rey sends him into a ladder and then 619s said ladder into Eddie’s face, only to hurt the knee again. The knee is ok enough to Drop The Dime onto a ladder onto Eddie and then load up the ladder again. Eddie climbs up the same side for an electric chair but Rey shows him how to do the sunset bomb for the huge crash. Rey goes up again and grabs the case but Eddie kicks the ladder out and pulls Rey down into a big spinebuster.

With Rey pinned under the ladder, Eddie goes up but stops to talk a lot of trash. He can’t unhook the thing anyway, allowing Rey to wiggle free and kick the ladder over. Apparently Vickie was supposed to run in there and missed the cue, explaining why Eddie couldn’t understand how a hook worked. Eddie is back up with Three Amigos, including the third onto the ladder. That means another climb but this time Vickie comes out for the save as she shoves the ladder over. Vickie pulls Eddie back so Rey can climb p and win.

Rating: B. It’s rather good with some big crashes, but the Vickie/Dominic stuff was too much and brought the match down. Rey vs. Eddie is something you can watch all day, especially if Eddie is all evil, but they could have come up with something better than a ladder match for custody papers. It was too far and became dumb rather than dramatic, which defeats a lot of the purpose.

Post match Vickie is relieved and Rey hits Eddie with a briefcase for a bonus.

Chris Jericho doesn’t like John Cena’s theme music and promises to make him as forgettable as the New Kids On The Block. He beat the Rock and Steve Austin on the same night and Cena isn’t on their level.

Eugene vs. Kurt Angle

For Eugene’s (Or Angle’s?) Gold Medal with no time limit and Christy Hemme is here with Eugene. Angle goes off on him to start and stomps Eugene down into the corner. Eugene comes back with a Faarooq spinebuster but Angle breaks up the People’s Elbow attempt with a hard clothesline. The fans are very pleased with this as they don’t seem all that into Eugene here.

Angle rolls the German suplexes for two and the fans are happy again. Eugene gets sent into the buckle a few times so the comeback is on, including a Rock Bottom for two. The Stunner gets the same and Eugene takes down the non-existent straps. Angle reverses the ankle lock by rolling him into the corner though and it’s the Angle Slam into the ankle lock for the win.

Rating: D. This could have been on Raw as Eugene was completely overwhelmed. The charm is long past gone now and it’s just Eugene doing Austin and Rock moves with almost nothing in between. It was just a squash anyway as Eugene is treated like the glorified jobber that he is. Angle needs to move on to something else and Eugene needs to become something else entirely.

Post match Angle stands on a chair so he can be awarded the medal again.

The Divas, in swimsuits, wash a limo with the Presidential seal on the door. The window goes down to reveal Vince McMahon. Vince: “Hey, why not?” There’s a McMahon For President bumper sticker on the limo for a bonus.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Rematch from Wrestlemania because Orton isn’t happy with his loss. It’s weird to see Undertaker come out first. Orton bails to the floor to start so Undertaker takes a second before shoving him down. A slap gets in Orton’s head a bit but he’s back up to dodge some right hands. Undertaker grabs a headlock (that’s a rare one) but Orton is right back with a hiptoss into a clothesline. That just earns him a big boot to the face and Orton is stunned in a hurry.

Undertaker goes technical with a keylock into Old School but Orton somehow understands what it means when Undertaker stands on the top while holding an arm. Old School is broken up with an armdrag back down but Undertaker LAUNCHES him into the corner to hammer away. The big boot and jumping clothesline give Undertaker two but the big boot in the corner only hits….well corner really and Orton grabs a DDT for his own two with Undertaker putting a foot across the rope.

Flashing back to his Evolution days, Orton cannonballs down onto the leg and then wraps it around the post. The leglock goes on so Undertaker punches his way to freedom, only to earn a knee drop to the ribs. Undertaker limps into the powerslam for two and it’s time to go to Texas with a spinning toehold.

That’s broken up as well and Undertaker starts kicking at Orton’s knee, earning a one off BORING chant. That doesn’t last long either as Orton is right back to the knee as the slow pace continues. Undertaker kicks him out to the floor for a ram into the steps and the apron legdrop as this isn’t exactly hitting a high gear. Old School connects back inside and it’s the Downward Spiral to Orton, who is right back with a dropkick for the double knockdown.

The RKO is blocked so they fight over a Tombstone until Orton gets two off the backbreaker. Orton goes up but Undertaker rolls through the high crossbody and grabs him by the throat. The chokeslam connects but a “fan” comes in. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. It was a struggle to get this high as there was no sense of urgency or any time until the end where either of them seemed close to going to a finish. At least the Wrestlemania match had an awesome near fall of the RKO but this was a bunch of leg work until they got to the finish. It could have worked if they had gone to a better ending but this never got into a higher gear.

And it’s Cowboy Bob Orton. You can book the rubber match already.

Some members of the Republican National Committee are here.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. John Cena. They’ve been having issues since Cena made his Raw debut on the Highlight Reel. Then they got in an argument over who was the bigger rock star, which turned into Cena’s Steve Austin vs. Eric Bischoff’s Vince McMahon with Jericho and Carlito as the chief lackeys. The former story was better but why do that when you can do the same thing you’ve done so many times before?

Bischoff wishes Jericho’s luck.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Cena is defending. They go nose to nose to start and a lockup doesn’t go anywhere. Jericho’s headlock is just as ineffective but he grabs a suplex to take over. There’s the spinwheel kick to drop Cena again but the springboard crossbody only lands on the floor. Back in and Cena hammers away, only to charge into a dropkick in the corner. A suplex gives Jericho two and a basement dropkick to the headsets up the chinlock.

They go outside with Jericho choking away with a cord but Cena is back with right hands. This isn’t exactly blowing the roof off the place so far. The big flying shoulder misses though and Jericho hits the running bulldog. Jericho has to bail out of the Lionsault so he tries the Walls, which is kicked out to the floor in a hurry. Cena drops the middle rope Fameasser over the ropes for two on the way back in but the FU is countered into a DDT for two. It’s time to start in on the back with a backbreaker and some elbows as the fans are loudly split.

The running crotch attack to the back only hits ropes though and they’re both down again. Cena is back up with that hard clothesline into the ProtoBomb. The Shuffle is countered into the Walls in the middle though, sending Cena on the long crawl to the ropes. Jericho pulls him back in but Cena makes the rope on the second attempt to a rather loud reaction. Cena’s back is good enough to try a super AA but Jericho slips out and grabs another suplex for another two. An argument with the referee lets Cena grab the FU to retain.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but they drew the crowd into it and it turned into a heck of a match by the end. Cena is showing some signs of brilliance in these big matches and Jericho has more than shown that he can hang with anyone so this was a benefit to both of them. Good match here as Cena is becoming a bigger and bigger star every single week.

We recap JBL vs. Batista (hometown boy) for the Smackdown World Title. JBL beat him by DQ last month so now it’s No Holds Barred. Not much more to it than that as JBL isn’t quite the believable challenger.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Batista is defending and it’s No Holds Barred. We get the JBL dollars raining from the ceiling during JBL’s entrance. The fight starts at the entrance with Batista ramming him into various things. A fire extinguisher into the face drops Batista though and JBL punches him around the barricade, only to have Batista spear him through said barricade.

They get inside for the first time with JBL kicking him in the head, followed by some whipping with a belt. Back up and Batista charges into a boot in the corner, setting up the Clothesline From JBL for two. JBL slides in the steps and this isn’t going to end well. The powerbomb off the steps is countered into a backdrop off of them and Batista hits the spinebuster. There’s the Batista Bomb but Batista doesn’t cover. Another Batista Bomb onto the steps retains the title.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but it was way better than their previous match as it didn’t go on forever, though the stipulation wasn’t exactly used. They went with the definitive ending here as Batista completely beat him, which is all it should have been. JBL was never a threat to Batista and now they can both move on to something else, with both of them going in the proper direction.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Hulk Hogan. They teamed a handful of times and then Shawn superkicked him on the Fourth of July. Shawn said he had to know and the match was made. Everything went spiraling out of control after that though, with Shawn turning it into a weird near shoot on Hogan’s career while Hogan just referenced Bret Hart and screwjobs a few times. Shawn has carried this feud on his back and it’s going to be interesting to see how they get to the big boot and legdrop.

Hulk Hogan vs. Shawn Michaels

Hogan has the big flag out for the entrance. It’s a long staredown to start before Hogan shoves him away and shows off the biceps. Hogan shoves him down a few more times and Shawn is already frustrated. A headlock works a bit better for Shawn until a shoulder sends him into a backflip through the ropes as the overselling is already strong. Back in and Shawn knees him in the ribs but gets put on top so Hogan can kick him in the ribs.

Shawn bounces as high into the air as he can for a crotching, before a ram into the buckle gives us a bump that Mr. Perfect would think is too much. A clothesline puts Shawn on the floor where he rolls backwards again, gets up and falls back down. Shawn manages a kick to the face though and starts chopping away in the corner. The slap to the face does not go well so Shawn does it again before chopping even more. A third slap earns Shawn a right hand out to the floor but they both get posted with Hogan staggering around a lot.

Shawn posts him again but still can’t put Hogan down so it’s time for some left hands to the head. Some right hands in the corner get Shawn shoved down again (make it twice), only to have him finally punch Hogan down (you don’t see that too often). Hogan is finally busted open and Shawn grabs the sleeper to follow the Randy Savage formula from Wrestlemania V. Shawn’s arm is covered in blood as Hogan suplexes his way to freedom.

The forearm into the nipup lets Shawn drop the elbow (OH YEAH indeed) but this one misses (leave it to Savage kid). Hogan slugs away but Shawn tries another forearm, which takes out the referee. The fans want Bret (fair enough after the promos building this up) but Shawn is up first and heads to the top, only to come back down for a terrible Sharpshooter (even Rock’s is better than that).

Another referee comes in and Hogan very slowly makes it to the rope. Hogan kicks him into the second referee and everyone is down again. A low blow drops Hogan and a chair to the head finally lets Shawn hit the elbow. Sweet Chin Music connects for two but Hogan kicks out, Hulks Up, punches away and finishes with the big boot and legdrop. So that’s how they got there.

Rating: B-. The match was a weird one (YOU THINK?) as Shawn was doing his over the top selling and turning it into a joke at first but then it settled into a match with a pretty simple formula that hit the high points but didn’t exactly break the mold. Hogan was the definitive winner here and Shawn hit everything he could without being able to finish Hogan off. I liked it well enough and it’s certainly a dream match, but it’s two matches in one and that’s a little distracting.

Post match Hogan poses but Shawn stops him to make everything nice. Shawn says he had to know and, as usual, wrestlers are rather forgiving about the whole situation. It’s more posing to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was all over the place with some good wrestling and action but a lot of things that felt like they should have been so much more. It’s an enjoyable show and something I’d watch again down the line, but it felt like they were going for a stacked show and as it is, it’s just pretty good. Fix some of the bigger holes and it’s a great one, but I’ll take what I can get after a build that wasn’t their best work.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also -available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author- page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 8, 2005
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 11,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We’re less than two weeks away from Summerslam and the card is looking decent at best. You can see most of if not all of the card, but at the same time they have a few things left to set up or at least push. If nothing else, we need Hulk Hogan to actually respond to Shawn Michaels and that is going to take place tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Eric Bischoff trying to stack the deck to get the World Title off of John Cena last week, complete with Carlito and Chris Jericho managing to pull defeat out of the jaws of victory. Jericho did manage to bust Cena open and steal the title though, in a move that almost always works.

Opening sequence.

Here are Eugene and Christy Hemme for the Gold Medal Invitational, but first Eugene, in a Hulk Hogan shirt, needs to talk about how awesome Hogan is. Christy says this is about Eugene though and does the GIVE ME AN E deal, only to have Kurt Angle interrupt. Angle says he’s the hometown hero this week and he’s getting his medals back.

As you might guess, the fans are not happy with Eugene here and Angle saying Pittsburgh doesn’t need Hulk Hogan when they have him makes it even worse. They even get in an argument over whether or not Eugene is a gold medalist because that’s what these fans want to hear. Eugene isn’t happy with Angle swearing so we start in a hurry.

Eugene vs. Kurt Angle

Angle kicks him into the corner to start but stops to yell at the referee. A backbreaker gets two on Eugene, who drives Angle into the corner. The referee takes a shot to the back of the head but Eugene says it was Angle and the referee believes him. A shot to the face drops Eugene as we’re already halfway through. Eugene is sent face first into the buckle and that’s enough to fire him up again. Angle grabs the release German suplex to cut that off in a hurry but the Angle Slam is escaped. Instead Angle charges into the referee and that’s a DQ to keep the medal on Eugene.

Post match Angle destroys Eugene but Hogan makes the save, with Angle, the HOMETOWN HERO, getting beaten up again. Who thought this was a good idea? I mean other than Hulk of course. Posing ensues and the fans don’t seem overly interested.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Masters

Lawler and Coach shushing JR during Masters’ entrance works for some reason. Masters grabs a headlock to start so Benjamin takes him down with a dragon screw legwhip. A slam puts Benjamin down but Masters nearly botches the elbow drop as Shelton tries to roll away. The bearhug goes on as JR is sounding a little uncomfortable with how much Lawler and Coach enjoy looking at Masters. Shelton is back with a jawbreaker and running kneelift to set up a high crossbody for two. A sleeper doesn’t work well though as Masters kicks him low, setting up the Masterlock for the win.

Rating: D. I know I bring this up a lot but WHAT HAPPENED TO SHELTON??? He holds the Intercontinental Title for the better part of a year and then he’s putting over everyone on the roster. Unless there was some sort of a backstage issue, I really don’t get the moves here, but it’s rather annoying and frustrating at the same time.

A very pleased Angle leaves Bischoff’s office. He’s got another shot at the medals at Summerslam but there’s no time limit, so Angle can hurt him as much as he wants.

Rob Conway isn’t worried about Viscera and hits on Maria a bit. Viscera comes in and asks Conway if he’s part of the Village People and belts out some YMCA. A brawl nearly starts but Viscera threatens Visagra before leaving. JR: “Is that what you’re taking King?”

We recap Matt Hardy’s invasions, leading to him being rehired last week.

Edge and Lita think rehiring Matt is brilliant because now he can do whatever he wants to Matt at Summerslam. Matt’s promo last week was pathetic because he should have been able to manage so much more after what he had been through. Edge points to his eyes and says this is passion and intensity. Lita left Matt for him after Matt never proposed in six years.

See, Matt should really be thanking Edge because he had never gotten reactions like this until he rode Edge’s coattails into the main event. Edge was facing main eventers while Matt was defending the Cruiserweight Title. Matt is here now because his girlfriend fell in love with a main eventer. We’re thirteen minutes into Matt’s fifteen minutes of fame and time is up at Summerslam. Very intense promo from Edge, whose facials were awesome as usual. I’m not sure how much the average fan is going to care, but it was some great delivery and much more of an insider’s promo than usual.

Rob Conway vs. Viscera

Conway tries some big forearms in the corner to start so Viscera hits the overhand chop to cut that off in a hurry. There’s a swinging Boss Man Slam, allowing Viscera to hit the hip swiveling. Conway dropkicks the knee and drops some elbows on it, only to get pulled into the Visagra. Back up and Viscera tries a slam, only to have the leg give out so Conway can fall on top for the pin. Conway is good in the role but they don’t have long to waste him in matches like this. He doesn’t have a lot of depth to his character and if it’s all stuff against people on Viscera’s level, fans aren’t going to be interested for long.

Hurricane/Rosey/Stacy Keibler vs. Heartthrobs/Victoria

Antonio punches Hurricane in the face to start so Hurricane takes him down with a fireman’s carry. Romeo comes in for a double Russian legsweep and a jumping elbow gets two. The Throbs miss a double dropkick and it’s Rosey coming in to no reaction. Stacy offers a little shake though and everything breaks down, only to have Victoria slam her into the barricade. A double STO finishes Rosey back inside. I know the Tag Team Titles don’t have the best history but this has to be close to the bottom of the whole lineage. They haven’t been defended in weeks and this is practically the whole division.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel, with the pyro seemingly going off later than expected as Jericho gets cut off mid-sentence. His guest this week is Eric Bischoff, who of course is Jericho’s close friend. They shake hands a few times, leaving Bischoff to talk about how Cena’s music career (including his music video premiering tonight) is the only thing he’ll have left after Summerslam.

Jericho has his own music video, showing him beating down Cena last week to Fozzy’s To Kill A Stranger. Bischoff isn’t happy with what happened last week though and that is due to referee Chad Patton, who counted the pin when Jericho was taken out. Patton comes out and gets slapped around by both of them, setting this up.

Chad Patton vs. Chris Jericho

Bischoff is referee and Patton actually drives Jericho into the corner to start before the beating is on. Patton loses most of his shirt and here’s Carlito to make it worse. Jericho chokes away and chops Patton against the ropes, leaving Carlito to get in some shots on the floor. A spinebuster into the Walls make Patton tap, with Bischoff taking his time to call for the bell.

Post match Jericho won’t let go so here’s Cena for the save (including a mistimed flying shoulder to Carlito, which hits him in the knee).

Post break Bischoff makes Cena vs. Carlito/Jericho.

And now, in case this show hasn’t been enough of a waste of time, it’s the Diva Search. We do get some good news: this stupid thing is over next week and Kristal is cut. Earlier today, everyone else had the chance to get the fans’ votes but things weren’t going to go according to plan.

Ashley gave her phone number but took a pie to the face to cut things off.

Leyla was holding up a sign and suggesting she was sans clothing when a pie to the face showed that wasn’t the case.

Elizabeth talked about having the fans’ support and didn’t really stop when the pie hit her.

Matt Hardy vs. Snitsky

Hardy starts slugging away early on and kicks Snitsky in the face for the first knockdown. A spinebuster cuts Hardy off and there’s a clothesline to put him down again. There’s a suplex so Snitsky can beat on his chest, setting up a side slam for two. The pumphandle slam is countered though and Snitsky misses a big boot in the corner, setting up a Twist of Fate out of the corner for the pin.

Rating: D. And that’s it for Matt’s chances at meaning anything as he was just a guy here. He was a bit more aggressive but it’s not like this was any star making performance. The run-ins were good, but I really wouldn’t have had him get in the ring until Summerslam. Not a good match and it killed Hardy’s aura.

Post match Edge runs in to jump Matt but referees break it up.

Post break Matt jumps Edge but gets pulled away again.

Here’s John Cena’s new music video for the song Right Now.

It’s time for the big main event argument as Hulk Hogan and Shawn Michaels go face to face, with Jerry Lawler moderating. Lawler asks if Shawn is jealous but Shawn talks about Hogan being nice enough to show up here for a change. Hogan’s life offers nothing Shawn could want because Hogan can’t touch him in this ring. All of Hogan’s personality means nothing at Summerslam because Hogan can’t hold a candle to him.

Hogan is asked about the Larry King segment but Shawn cuts him off to say that Hogan has to deal with the truth for the first time ever. Shawn is the first person who won’t buckle in front of Hogan because no one is going to fire him. He’s been fired so many times but WWE keeps bringing him back because this place doesn’t exist without him. Hogan finally cuts him off and says Shawn is making this too personal. If Shawn wanted a match, all he had to do was ask. Instead Shawn cheap shotted him, and all Hogan had to do was call Bret Hart to hear about that.

Shawn smiles at that one and promises that Hogan is next. Hogan: “When you left the WWE for seven years, you said it was because you lost your smile.” I’ll let you try to figure out Hogan’s version of history on that one as Hogan talks about being her for the fans’ smiles. He asks Shawn what he’s going to do so Shawn’s shirt comes off…so he can superkick Lawler. The fight with Hogan is on and it’s a big boot so Hogan can throw Shawn outside. A lot of posing ends the show.

The Bret line was good but Shawn is carrying every bit of these promos and the feud as a whole, which is going to make the reactions at Summerslam rather interesting. It’s almost hard to get annoyed at Shawn here as he is saying a lot of things that are very true, but Hogan is going to do his usual stuff at Summerslam and get cheered because he’s Hogan (fair enough). Shawn is the more interesting one here though and that’s making things a little more interesting.

Overall Rating: D-. The interesting thing here was that while the show could have been worse, it felt like a complete waste of time. There are three big Raw matches taking place at Summerslam but how interesting are they going to be? Hardy lost a ton tonight because he was mostly just his old self, Jericho vs. Cena is a lame Austin clone and Shawn vs. Hogan sells itself. The rest of the show was awful and it remains clear that there is nothing outside of the three Summerslam matches going on around here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 1, 2005
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We’re less than three weeks away from Summerslam and this week has a big title rematch. Last week Chris Jericho helped Carlito defeat John Cena to earn the title match this week, even though it’s pretty clear that we’re coming up on Cena defending against Jericho. Other than that, we have more on the Shawn Michaels vs. Hulk Hogan build. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Chris Jericho to get things going. He and Eric Bischoff have been working on a BRILLIANT plan to get the WWE Championship off of John Cena. First of all, we saw Cena’s exposure as a fake rapper and then as a fake champion after Carlito beat Cena with a completely fair referee. After a quick clip of Carlito winning thanks to a low blow, Jericho gets serious to promise Cena some pain at Summerslam. Cue a charging Cena and the fight is on, with Bischoff sending security out a few seconds later. With the fight broken up, Bischoff makes Jericho guest referee for Carlito’s title shot. Cena looks crushed, as expected.

Big Show/Shelton Benjamin vs. Snitsky/Chris Masters

Fallout from last week. It’s a brawl before the bell with Show throwing Shelton inside and pulling Snitsky outside. We settle down to Shelton shouldering Masters and bringing in Show for some headbutting. The huge chop lets Show mock Snitsky’s pain but Masters’ attempt at a cheap shot completely fails. Show tosses him over the top for the big crash onto Snitsky and we take a break.

Back with Shelton hammering on Snitsky some more but having to deal with Masters again, allowing Snitsky to block the Stinger Splash. Masters hits some backbreakers for two, followed by the bearhug. A powerslam gives Masters two and it’s back to Snitsky for the chinlock. Shelton finally gets two off a rollup to Masters but a backslide is countered with a heck of a clothesline. Back up and Shelton finally gets in a neckbreaker for a breather, allowing the hot tag to Big Show. House is cleaned with splashes and running shoulders but Snitsky kicks Show in the face. Not that it matters as Show chokeslams him for the pin.

Rating: D. This was VERY long and dull but I’ll take whatever gets Shelton going again. I don’t expect it to last at the moment, but at least he finally got something back. I don’t know what kind of a future Masters and Snitsky have, though it’s not like there is anyone else doing anything at the moment in the tag division (including the champions).

Here’s Eugene, now with Christy Hemme as his literal cheerleader, for the Eugene Invitational. The hometown hero is….Kurt Angle, with Eugene demanding to know where his name is and where he is from. Angle gets so annoyed that he admits he isn’t from Connecticut so there’s no match. Sure Eugene said he was from Cleveland last week but that was pretending and this is real! Angle brings up that this is an Indian casino and asks who could really be from here. And now, for your random cameo of the week.

Eugene vs. Tatanka

Eugene is rather pleased that Tatanka can drive him back into the corner so Tatanka shoulders him down for two. They fight over the arm with a minute gone and Lawler talking about Christy’s pom poms. A chop puts Eugene down and Tatanka tries the warpath to a non-existent reaction. The top rope chop to the head gets two on Eugene with just under a minute left. Eugene hits an Angle Slam and pulls down the non-existent straps. The ankle lock goes on and Angle comes in for the DQ. Tatanka can’t take a loss here? Really?

Post match Eugene and Tatanka clear the ring. That’s a bad tag team at a legends of wrestling event if I’ve ever seen one.

Post break a furious Angle promises to get his medal back next week in Pittsburgh. Next week, he’s making Eugene REALLY special.

We look at Kane losing the stretcher match and kidnapping Lita to blow off some steam.

Carlito and Jericho rant about Cena and nearly come to blows. Bischoff comes in to calm things down, saying Jericho’s job is to make Carlito WWE Champion. Now go come up with a plan. Jericho thinks a fast count is in order.

Vince McMahon arrives.

Here’s Vince in the ring for a major announcement. This is the 636^th episode of Raw, putting the show past all other original shows for total episodes. The classy thing to do would be to thank the fans, but Vince thanks himself instead. He has a history of making good business decisions, like bringing back people or concepts that make him money. That’s what he’s doing again tonight as he brings back a former WWE superstar. This man has been wrecking havoc backstage and now he will be facing Edge at Summerslam: MATT HARDY.

We see Matt walking through the back before hitting the arena for a big reaction. Matt says he should thank Vince but it was the people who brought him back to Raw. Unlike Vince, Matt is willing to thank the fans for getting him back here. Matt recaps the entire love triangle with Edge and Lita, including real names and breaking kayfabe by talking about how the marriage to Kane was just on TV.

The story came out and the fans let Edge and Lita know how they felt. Then he heard 20,000 people chanting WE WANT MATT in Madison Square Garden so now Matt is back to destroy Edge’s life. Matt promises to hurt Edge at Summerslam and he WILL NOT DIE. It’s a big moment, but after Matt popped up a few times, it was hardly some game changer.

Vince is in the back and runs into Kerwin White, but he’s been rich for so long that he’s forgotten what it’s like to be middle class. Vince leaves and Kerwin longs for some polo.

Rob Conway vs. Val Venis

Conway debuts his “Just Look At Me” song and wrestles in sunglasses because he’s now something like Buff Bagwell. From now on, he’s doing things the Con-Way. JR is incredulous over the sunglasses as Conway starts with a headlock. Venis runs him over and the glasses fall off, sending Conway over the edge. Conway is so mad that he gets wristlocked and hammerlocked, though he does get in an elbow to the jaw. An exchange of forearms on the floor doesn’t last long but Conway snaps him throat first across the rope.

The beating against the barricade keeps Val down and it’s time to crank on the neck back inside. Venis spins out into a Blue Thunder Bomb as the announcers make porn jokes about Venis to fill in some time. A reverse Figure Four sends Conway over to the ropes as we get a loud THIS MATCH SUCKS chant. I’d go more with it’s not that interesting but it doesn’t suck. The Money Shot is broken up and a hanging swinging neckbreaker (the Ego Trip) finishes Venis.

Rating: D. Conway feels like someone who belongs in another era, as you could see him being a star in something closer to the territory days. On Raw in 2005 though? This really didn’t click, though part of that is due to the match being Conway vs. Venis. Who is going to look at this and see something they might want to watch? Conway could be fine in the midcard, but don’t expect to see me care about him with a heel character that isn’t exactly groundbreaking.

And now, Shawn Michaels imitates Hulk Hogan on a fake Larry King Show, getting in every old joke that he can think of and talking about how different he is outside of the ring. With about five BROTHER’s per sentence, Shawn takes a call from Battle Creek, Michigan, where he’ll never go again because Hulk only makes the big towns brother. We get a long and good Shawn highlight video, capped off by the superkick to Hogan.

Shawn, in Hogan pose: “…..brother….”. Before the match, “Hulk” has a lot of politicking to do with Vince. We hear about how Shawn failed when Hogan bailed on the company for more money because Shawn would rather work as hard in Battle Creek, Michigan than he would in Madison Square Garden. It won’t matter though because (“You know something Mean Gene!” Larry: “It’s Larry King!” Hulk: “It doesn’t matter brother. I’m selling tickets!”) he’ll prove himself at Summerslam.

Hulk gets a bad cramp but he’s fine enough to superkick Larry and rip off the wig. Hogan has a reality show, but at Summerslam, reality is kicking him in the face, just like Shawn kicks the camera. Shawn is great at this stuff and even though it’s pretty easy to mock Hogan, you can tell Shawn is in this one hard. That being said, you can imagine how Hogan is going to take this because he’s a little serious about himself. Shawn at least feels like he’s saying something though and it’s coming across even with the comedy stuff. That’s more than Hogan has done, as he’s just promised to beat Shawn up. More of Shawn’s stuff please.

It’s Diva Search time and Summer is cut. Yes another good looking blonde is out, leaving the rest to try Queen of the Mountain (the duel with big sticks). Hold on though as here’s Rob Schneider of all people to promote Deuce Bigelow: European Gigolo. Schneider: “As you battle, do not be distracted by my boner.” The four do their tournament, Schneider isn’t funny, Schneider gets physical on the big inflatable mat, Elizabeth wins. So much for them not spending as much time on this stuff.

We recap Carlito vs. Cena from last week.

Raw World Title: Carlito vs. John Cena

Bischoff is at ringside, Cena is defending, Carlito’s Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line and Jericho is guest referee. Jericho gets in a distraction to start so Carlito can hammer away at the bell. Cena’s early comeback is cut off by Jericho and a crazy fast count gets two. Jericho helps Carlito send him shoulder first into the post and we take a break. Back with Carlito hitting a running neckbreaker for a fast two and the handicap match continues.

Cena tries a suplex but Jericho breaks it up so Carlito can hit a DDT for two, despite Cena being all over the ropes. A flying shoulder drops Carlito and Cena spears Jericho, only to get taken down from behind again. We hit the chinlock again but Cena powers out, meaning it’s time for another cheap shot from Jericho.

They head outside with Jericho pulling the pad off of the barricade. Even Jericho gets in a ram but Cena comes back with the shots to the face. The usual looks to finish but Jericho won’t count, meaning Cena goes after him again. Jericho breaks up the FU, only to hit Bischoff by mistake. Cena clotheslines Jericho to the floor and hits the FU to get the retaining pin from another referee.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure what to think about this one. They didn’t waste time hiding what they were doing here but there was no chance that they were going to change the title with a Summerslam main event ready for them. The idea is there, but was there NO ONE but the Intercontinental Champion for this spot? Throw Snitsky in there or something but find a better way to protect the title.

Post match Jericho hits Cena low and busts him open with a TV camera. The Walls go on and Bischoff slaps Cena a few times, sending JR over the edge to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Matt coming back was cool (yet it would have been better had he just gotten into the fight with Edge some other way), Shawn’s deal was funny and that’s it for your positives on this show. A fifteen minute Masters/Snitsky match? The same main event we had last week? ROB SCHNEIDER AND TATANKA??? They had a few ideas here (Conway is at least a genuine attempt to push someone new and I can go for that) but the bad stuff really cripples anything good the show could have had. It’s not a failure, but they need to get rid of the awful stuff in a hurry because it’s killing what good things they have.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 9, 1995
Location: Summit, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Shawn Michaels

The slow build towards the Royal Rumble continues and that means we get to sit through some more horrible shows. This is one of the worst times the company has ever had and last week’s show couldn’t have been much worse. At least this week’s show is the two year anniversary of the show so maybe it can be a little better. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Vince and Shawn talk about the show, which thankfully is in an arena instead of a high school gym. They’re VERY excited about William Shatner appearing on the King’s Court tonight, meaning the Star Trek jokes abound.

Shatner is ready to deal with Lawler but he’s here to promote his new show. Only one Star Trek joke abounds here.

Intercontinental Title: Owen Hart vs. Razor Ramon

Razor is defending and we get the Madison Square Garden style set with the entrance across from the hard camera. Hart takes his time coming in so Razor gets in a sucker punch but the referee won’t let him hit a belt shot. Owen gets knocked outside and slammed off the top as this is one sided so far.

It gets even worse for Owen as he misses a charge into the post, meaning it’s off to the armbar, complete with some slaps to Owen’s head. A clothesline gives Razor two and the armbar goes right back on. The fall away slam looks to set up the Razor’s Edge but Owen backdrops him to the floor. That means a suicide dive, which is a very different move for 1995. Razor’s rolls through a high crossbody for two and we take a break.

Back with Owen’s enziguri connecting and a spinwheel kick dropping Razor again. The chinlock goes on before Owen jumps on his back for the sleeper. As expected, Razor suplexes his way to freedom and gets a very delayed two. The yet to be named chokeslam puts Owen down but he’s fine enough to crotch Razor on the ropes. Owen hits a missile dropkick but here’s Bret for the DQ before the Sharpshooter can go on.

Rating: B. This was really getting somewhere and the ending makes sense. Owen has made it clear that he wants to be better than Bret and Bret is still mad over Owen costing him the title so he costs Owen a title as well. It helps when Razor can have a good match with anyone and they can do a rematch if they want to go there. This show is already 49x better than last week’s so they’re off to a good start.

Post match Jeff Jarrett tries to come in for the save but Bret and Razor stand tall.

Royal Rumble Report, with Todd Pettengill explaining the whole concept, including the dreaded sixty second intervals. The rest of the card gets some attention too, though that doesn’t make the show sound much better. Diesel wants to know if Bret Hart has changed while he’s been hanging out in Calgary. Bret better be ready for the Rumble.

Jerry Lawler is ready for Shatner.

Hakushi vs. Matt Hardy

This is Hakushi’s debut and who would believe he’s nowhere near the bigger star? Matt tries to pick up the pace to start and gets superkicked for his efforts. Shawn Michaels makes menu jokes about Hakushi and it’s a snap suplex into a slingshot splash to finish Hardy in a hurry. Total squash.

It’s time for the King’s Court with Lawler listing off all of William Shatner’s accomplishments before bringing him out. Lawler wants him to say this is his greatest accomplishment, but Shatner isn’t going there. He was chewing gum yesterday and that was more impressive than Lawler. That doesn’t go well as Lawler pokes him in the chest, meaning Shatner takes the mic away.

The fight is almost on with Shatner twisting Lawler’s fist behind his back. A monkey flip sends Lawler flying and here’s Bret to clear him out. Jeff Jarrett and the Roadie come to ringside but nothing happens. I’ve never seen a single Star Trek anything so this didn’t do much for me.

Royal Rumble ad with Pamela Anderson in her apartment and various wrestlers calling to hit on her. She was the big focal point of the show and looked like she would rather be having dental surgery.

King Kong Bundy vs. Gary Sabaugh

Avalanche finishes Sabaugh in less than thirty seconds. Yes they are running long.

Post match, Bundy tells Shawn that he’s winning the Rumble, which Shawn doesn’t buy.

We look at the Tag Team Title tournament. Here are the updated brackets:

Bam Bam Bigelow/Tatanka

Headshrinkers

Heavenly Bodies

1-2-3 Kid/Bob Holly

The Bushwhackers fire Howard Finkel up for his tuxedo match.

Well Dunn does the same for Harvey Wippleman.

Video on Kama Mustafa, the toughest man in the world.

Harvey Wippleman vs. Howard Finkel

Yes a tuxedo match and yes this is the main event with Well Dunn and the Bushwhackers at ringside. They start the expected brawling with Finkel’s pants coming down but not off as Harvey loses his shirt. Both of their underwear say RAW of course as the ugly grappling continues. Harvey thinks he wins but Howard still has his cummerbund on, allowing him to steal the pants and the win. This is something I never need to see again.

A lot of dancing and celebrating ensues. By that I mean longer than the match itself went as they just keep marching around the ring for the better part of four minutes.

Next week: Bret vs. Jarrett.

The announcers give a recap and preview as they’re filling in all the time they can. Jarrett comes out and promises to take care of Hart and Shatner next week.

Overall Rating: D. That one match did help a lot but come on man. Even a fifteen minute match which was quite good wasn’t enough to save the show from Fink vs. Harvey, which is hardly surprising. I’m sure Vince found it hilarious but you finish on that instead of the celebrity appearance of the good match? It’s the Saturday Night’s Main Event formula all over again, but that doesn’t make it smart.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 16, 2004
Location: Labatt Center, London, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Summerslam has come and gone, meaning Randy Orton is the new Raw World Champion. That’s quite the spot for someone as young as he is but it’s WAY past the time that we need a new top heel. The few seconds it took me to write that out are about as much time as I believe Orton will get to enjoy this before HHH, fresh off his mammoth, colossal win over Eugene, decides it’s his show again. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s new World Champion Randy Orton, rocking the heck out of a suit and holding the title as confetti and balloons fall. Orton talks about how no one thought he could do it last night. He survived the Crossface, the Sharpshooter and six straight German suplexes. Now he’s right here in front of you as the youngest WWE Champion in history, meaning more posing. Orton has every 24 year old male stand up and says that’s what the average one looks like.

Now he wants them all to take off their shirts (Orton: “Females you can catch up with me later.”), which makes Orton cringe a bit. It’s true in America too and there’s no way around reality: he is just better than everyone else. Get used to the sight of Orton holding the title while wearing a $3000 suit because the Randy Orton Era has just begun. Cue Chris Benoit and I think you know where this is going. Indeed, Benoit says he’s cashing in his rematch clause tonight and the title is on the line.

Rhyno vs. Sylvan Grenier

If Rhyno wins, he and Tajiri get a Tag Team Title shot at Unforgiven. If Grenier wins, they never get a shot. Rhyno tries for the fast rollup as the confetti continues to fall. A Conway distraction lets Grenier take over, followed by a flag shot to Tajiri on the floor. Grenier takes him down with a flap jack and drops a knee for two before putting on the chinlock. Rhyno fights up and hits the powerslam for two of his own but Conway’s distraction slows things down again. Tajiri has finally had it and mists Grenier, setting up the Gore for the pin.

Rating: D. So they set up a pretty obvious finish and then went straight there after a boring match. La Resistance is still fine for what they’re doing, but they’re not exactly good at lighting up the crowd. Rhyno and Tajiri are perfectly acceptable challengers of the month and that’s enough to keep things along until a good team can take the belts.

Kane and Lita’s wedding is next week with Kane reading an invitation.

Lawler thinks this is hilarious and JR has to yell at him to shut up.

We recap Kane beating Matt Hardy last night to win Lita’s hand in marriage. Still sounds weird no matter how you put it.

Lita is devastated so some of the meaner Divas give her a bridal shower. Molly says that since Lita likes to sleep around, here are some birth control pills and condoms, complete with a singing of the Trojan Man jingle. Gail has a framed picture of Lita and Kane’s first kiss, plus another composite picture of what the baby should look like. Finally, a vibrator (not shown of course but the box shakes) because reasons. I know it’s going to be awhile but they’re doing a good job of making me want to see Lita kill Trish. Lita leaves and Victoria comes in so Trish can yell at her for losing Diva Dodgeball. Victoria slaps her like she should.

Shawn Michaels is coming back and the video gets booed. Canada of course.

Victoria vs. Gail Kim

Victoria starts with a monkey flip into the dancing moonsault for two. A trip to the floor lets Gail get in a few shots to take over as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled. Gail slaps on a Black Widow and takes it to the mat for a little twist on the move. With the match not really being thrilling, the fans go with a YOU SCREWED BRET chant at Earl Hebner to fulfill their requirements. Victoria pops back up and hits Widow’s Peak for the pin.

Rating: D+. That freaky Black Widow alone is enough to bring this up a notch. The rest of the match wasn’t anything to see but in theory this helps set Victoria up as the next challenger to Trish. Gail is at least getting better in the ring, though her charisma still has a long way to go.

Post match Trish and Tyson Tomko come in for the beatdown but the mystery woman (who the fans at home can tell is Stevie Richards and who the fans in the arena can tell is Stevie Richards but who leaves the announcers clueless) comes in for the save.

Intercontinental Title: Kane vs. Edge

Kane is challenging as a wedding present from Bischoff. As a bonus, Kane dedicates this match to Lita in that creepy voice of his. Kane shoves him down to start but misses a big boot, allowing Edge to go after the knee. Edge stays on the leg as Jerry wants Kane and Lita to take a camera along with them on their honeymoon. A standing Figure Four around the post as JR thinks Kane and Lita are registered at Satan R Us for a small chuckle. Lita comes out to watch and we take a break.

Back with Kane hitting a hot shot and slapping on the chinlock. JR continues to rant about the wedding and thank goodness this isn’t the modern commentary team, which would have turned this into a string of insults against each other as they say everyone is stupid. Edge, with confetti on his back, fights up and knocks Kane down with a running forearm.

A basement dropkick puts Kane on the apron and a spear sends him to the apron. Back in and a missile dropkick gives Edge two as Lawler talks about Kane really being the Big Red Machine. Kane goes up top and shoves Edge into the referee but hits the top rope clothesline anyway. Cue Matt Hardy for a Twist of Fate, allowing Edge to hit the spear to retain.

Rating: D+. This hasn’t exactly been a strong night for wrestling. The Kane vs. Lita/Matt story is becoming oddly intriguing and a wedding is always worth something. I’m not sure how much further they can take it but some stories are only supposed to go so far. You need some soap opera style stuff sometimes and this is one of the more entertaining versions.

Post match Lita stays in the ring for some reason and Kane says nothing can make him mad right now. He’s looking forward to consummating the marriage so Lita slaps him. That’s how he likes it though. JR: “Of God almighty no.”

It’s Diva Search time with the girls together in the back. This week, they all got to say which contestant they would vote off and why. These are pre-taped and shown on a monitor.

Michelle would vote off Carmella because she’s busy and only wants another contract rather than a WWE career.

Christy would vote off Carmella because she doesn’t want it.

Maria would vote off Carmella because she doesn’t put the effort in and “acts like a dish rag”.

Tracy would vote off Carmella because she’s not excited enough to be here.

Carmella would vote off Joy she has a husband and babies so it might be hard to make this work.

Amy would vote off Carmella because she doesn’t want to be here and has laughed at the tests. So she’s just like the audience?

Joy would vote off Carmella because she hasn’t been a team player and missed Diva Dodgeball.

The Diva voted off is…Michelle. I’m sure she had no future in wrestling anyway. So Carmella is the heel now, because this thing needed a villain.

Chris Jericho vs. Batista

Flair is here with Batista, who starts with the power in the form of shoulders in the corner. An early comeback is cut off by a Flair trip and Batista forearms Jericho in the back. Jericho is right back with a dropkick and an enziguri into the ropes. A chop block looks to set up the Walls but Batista powers out without much effort. Instead of going after him again, Jericho dropkicks Flair off the apron instead. Flair is fine enough to break up the Lionsault for the DQ though.

Rating: D+. My goodness Orton vs. Benoit better be incredible to make up a lot of the mess so far. Batista isn’t quite as dominant as he was before Summerslam but at least he didn’t take a fall here. Jericho is kind of floating around at the moment and needs something to do, but I’m thinking he’ll be fine no matter what he does.

Post match the beatdown is on with Edge coming out for the save but stopping at ringside instead of getting in. Interesting indeed.

Divas in bikinis again.

HHH tells Orton how important the title is. Anyone would give their arm to get a shot at the title and Orton won it last night. Evolution will be there for the post match celebration.

Raw World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton

Orton is defending and wears the title for an always appreciated visual. Benoit jumps him before the bell and starts in a hurry. A quick elbow drop keeps Orton down, setting up a belly to back suplex for the first two. Orton sends him outside to no avail and gets caught in a release fisherman’s suplex back inside.

A top rope superplex gives Benoit a delayed two and it’s time for more chops. They fall out to the floor and Benoit drops him knee first onto the steps. Back from a break with Orton in the Sharpshooter and finally making the rope for the save, with the fans exhaling all at once. Orton’s knee is fine enough to knock Benoit to the floor for a much needed breather. Benoit gets posted and it’s time to start in on the neck. That of course means the chinlock for a good while before the over the shoulder neckbreaker gets two.

Benoit fights out of the next chinlock with a neckbreaker and they’re both down. Orton’s backbreaker puts Benoit right back down but he misses the high crossbody. The Swan Dive knocks both of them silly and gives Benoit a delayed two as you can tell the fans are into this one. Benoit’s rolling German suplexes set up the Crossface so here’s Evolution for the distraction. That’s enough for the RKO to retain the title.

Rating: B. Another good match from two guys who have chemistry. It’s also fine to have Orton get the pin off the screwy finish as he’s already shown that he can beat Benoit completely clean so it’s not like it hurts anything. They leave a door open for a rematch, but this should be it for Orton vs. Benoit for the time being. He doesn’t have many people left to face though…and you know what’s next.

Post match Evolution celebrates with Orton and puts him on Batista’s shoulders as HHH gives him the thumbs up. That turns into a thumbs down though and Batista drops Orton back so the beatdown can be on. Orton is wrecked and busted open, with HHH holding the title in his face and yelling to end the show. It’s a good angle, even if it’s more HHH greatness. The story makes sense, but my goodness I could go for a break from HHH at the top of the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The main event and post match angle helped but there was nothing leading up to that. You would think there would have been something a little bit better coming off of Summerslam but at least we got one really good thing. The wedding should be a lot more entertaining next week though and if you couple that with a solid followup from Orton (we should be so lucky), things will be a lot better.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Time for another question about some tag teams going out of their element.

Speaking of Edge

How would you rank Edge & Christian, The Hardys and The Dudleys singles careers?

I know Devon’s bottom but there could definitely be an arguement Jeff had a better overall career than Edge.

This one might surprise you a bit.

1. Edge. You just can’t argue against that many titles and all that other stuff he’s won. I believe he’s the only person to win every non-weight class title and has more titles than anyone else in company history, plus a Royal Rumble, King of the Ring and Money in the Bank. That’s never being topped, ever.

2. Jeff Hardy. I know he’s not quite what he was back in the day, but egads he was crazy over back in his day. There was a real case that he was the second biggest star in the company behind Cena, and that’s one heck of an accomplishment. If he had stuck around, I’d love to see how far he could have gone.

3. Christian. Not the biggest surprise, but if you could combine his talking and charisma levels in TNA with his success in WWE, he would have been an even bigger star. He managed to craft an entire career of his own away from Edge and he was quite the big deal on his own. That feud with Randy Orton in 2011 would have run away with Feud of the Year if not for Cena vs. Punk.

4. Bubba Ray Dudley. I loved his singles run as Bully Ray and he was a heck of a heel. I know that’s down in TNA, but he was still a success and fighting against some top names. He’s an incredible talker and played a good power heel in the ring. The tag team success helped him out a lot as well and gave him extra credibility. To go from what felt like a joke of a singles run in WWE to this was quite impressive.

5. Matt Hardy. Really, it’s just hard to care. Some of the stuff he did was good and the Mattitude Facts are hilarious but his World Title reigns in TNA barely existed and his ECW Title reign is forgettable. He had some nice midcard work but it never really felt big and he never broke through to that next level. The potential was always there and it just didn’t click.

6. D-Von Dudley. Back in the day, a buddy of mine and I would use our 13 inch Marvel figures for wrestling toys. They had theme songs, storylines, entrance music and all that jazz. One of them was a Ghost Rider figure named Blaze. One of his finishers was a reverse implant DDT called the Inferno. D-Von occasionally used that as his finisher. For me, that is the high point of his singles career.

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 17, 2004
Location: San Diego Sports Arena, San Diego, California
Attendance: 5,600
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re less than a month away from Bad Blood and we need a card. That can get started tonight with the naming of a new #1 contender, who will be crowned in a battle royal. The winner gets a shot at Chris Benoit and while HHH seems very interested in winning, Shawn Michaels is likely to be lurking around. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Fallout from Trish being horrible to Lita last week and pretending Kane was coming. Trish feigns an apology and gets punched in the face several times. A missed charge lets Trish take her down by the hair but is back with right hands and a headscissors. Trish hot shots her down and chokes a bit, though does stop to sneer at the referee. The announcers debate Trish’s levels of wholesomeness as the Chick Kick is blocked into a rollup for two.

Lita fights out of a chinlock but gets spinebustered back down into the same hold. That earns Trish some suplexes (Lita isn’t a chinlock fan) and a reverse Twist of Fate but here’s Kane on the screen. A few mentions of her name are enough for Trish to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. The always stupid ending didn’t help things but they were trying for the most part. These two work well together and feel like the biggest match in the division, but they haven’t hit the level you would be expecting from two legends like them. That being said, compare it to Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie from the previous night and you get some more of the praise.

Post match Kane says he wants Lita’s yes or no tonight.

Here’s Randy Orton for a chat. He beat Mick Foley twice and then last week he beat Edge. Tonight, he’s going to beat Benoit and Edge to become a double champion. However, tonight is all about Evolution and HHH, because HHH is winning the battle royal with Orton’s help. Orton says there is no stopping Evolution and HHH but here’s Shelton Benjamin to disagree (With his music saying there’s actually no stopping him rather than Evolution. I guess he thought Orton was confused.).

How can HHH be the best when Benjamin has beaten him twice? Orton says it was luck and one day, luck would run out. Shelton is no match for either himself or HHH but Shelton doesn’t see it that way. The challenge is thrown out but Orton says no, because he’s not soiling the title by defending it against the likes of him. Shelton beats him up for a few seconds until Ric Flair comes down and gets Orton out.

William Regal is congratulating Eugene on his win last week when Eugene steals his nose. Regal: “Very good now can I have it back?” Eugene wants another match when Eric Bischoff comes up to talk to Regal. As Eugene plays with whatever he can find in a bucket (including two bowling pins and a fire extinguisher), Regal apologizes for not having Eugene lose last week. Bischoff has an idea for Eugene tonight and all Regal has to do is make sure he’s at ringside for an interview alone. Regal seems interested, though also concerned

We look back at Shawn Michaels attacking HHH last week and getting suspended. I’m sure that’s going to stick.

Kane vs. Val Venis

Val slugs away to start but can’t get a Russian legsweep. Kane misses an elbow but hits a big boot into a chokeslam for the pin in a hurry.

Post match Matt Hardy runs in and goes off on Kane but gets kicked in the face when trying a chair shot. That means another chokeslam and Kane ties him in the Tree of Woe for some choking with a cord. Kane wraps the chair around Matt’s throat and stands on it instead of stomping but Lita runs out for the save. She says yes, even though we don’t know the question yet. Kane puts his arms around her and whispers something in her ear before leaving with a smile.

There was a voter registration drive earlier today.

Tag Team Titles: Edge/Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton/Batista

Orton and Batista are challenging and have Flair with him. Edge’s headlock doesn’t get him very far on Orton so he tries it again. Some forearms work a bit better and Orton is taken into the corner so Benoit can slug away as well. Orton does the same thing to Benoit though and it’s off to Batista so the big man can take over. Some forearms and chops get Benoit out of trouble and Edge comes back in for the chinlock. Everything breaks down in a hurry and the champs clear the ring as we take a break.

Back with Orton cranking on an armbar and Batista coming in to take his place. A hard clothesline gives Batista two, followed by Orton slapping on another armbar. Edge fights up and forearms away with the good arm (smart man), followed by the Edge-O-Matic for two. It’s finally off to Benoit to pick up the pace a good bit, including a snap suplex to Orton. A backbreaker gets two but Benoit turns his back on Orton to slug it out with Batista.

Everything breaks down as Benoit tries to get the Sharpshooter and Orton is sent into Batista. The referee gets bumped and Batista gets sent outside, leaving Orton to take the rolling German suplexes. Flair sends in the Intercontinental Title to block the Swan Dive for a close two and Orton gets in a great shocked look. Edge is back up and spears Orton into Flair off the apron, setting up the Crossface to make Orton tap to retain the titles.

Rating: B. We’re almost getting to a Smackdown Six (or whatever number it is) kind of situation around here with one very good tag match after around. It’s so refreshing to have a 15-20 minute match almost guaranteed to be very entertaining on a weekly basis. Good wrestling can solve a lot of your problems and that’s what’s happening here.

Regal gives Eugene some last second pointers about projecting his voice. Eugene: “Do re mi fa sol la Tito Santana!” I love this guy! Regal isn’t going out there with him and tells Eugene he has to be a man. Eugene: “Are you trying to tell me something?” Regal almost spills the beans about Bischoff but controls himself, albeit while looking disgusted with himself.

Here’s Eugene (to a very nice reaction) for the interview with Todd Grisham (Looking even more toolish than usual this week. Get a suit boy.) but Coach cuts them off. Coach is going to be handling the interview and won’t let Eugene get an answer in. He talks about people laughing at him last week and Eugene is sad. These people like making fun of him like they’re booing him right now. He even smells bad!

No one here is Eugene’s friend and he’s probably never even had a girlfriend either. Now Eugene needs to get out of the ring and go back to wherever he came from and tell his friends that he’s a failure. Oh hang on, because he doesn’t have any friends. A very sad Eugene goes to leave….and here’s the Rock.

Coach panics as Rock poses and then says Eugene isn’t going anywhere. But what if he wants a hot pretzel? After FINALLY, Rock wants to know how Coach can talk about the people. There’s only one man who knows the people and he thinks the people like Eugene. Eugene greatly approves when they chant his name so Rock has them do it again. Now, Coach will never be Eugene’s friend but Rock would love to be friends.

Coach glares at them and says Rock must be doing these things to make himself feel better. Remember Wrestlemania when Rock got beat up all over Madison Square Garden? Rock: “Is that what you think?” Coach: “Well…” Eugene: “IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!” After confirming that only Mick Foley and Eugene can steal those lines, Rock asks who is Eugene’s boy. That would be Rock. Who is the People’s Champ? Rock again. And who is Eugene’s favorite wrestler? Eugene: “HHH!”

That confuses Rock, but apparently HHH and Eugene both like to play games. Rock isn’t happy with that because HHH only likes to play Hide The Strudel. Rock: “Lilian you know about that right?” Maybe we could play a game right here and the object is for Eugene to beat Coach up.

Garrison Cade of all people runs in and gets punched all the way out of the deep water that is way over his head. The Rock Bottom sets up a People’s Elbow from Eugene to really hammer this home. Eugene even gets to do Rock’s pose, although with one foot on the bottom rope ala Foley.

That’s one of the best one night rubs you’ll ever see. Notice what Rock has done in three of his recent comebacks: let Hurricane pin him, gave Randy Orton a heck of a rub and then this with Eugene. Then HHH beat Hurricane three weeks later and Eugene and Orton later in the year, cutting the legs off of all three. But at least Rock tried and this was a great segment.

Smackdown Rebound, mostly looking at the TV show and a quick look at the PPV main event.

Battle Royal

HHH, Maven, Kane, Randy Orton, Edge, Chris Jericho, Batista, Steven Richards, Hurricane, Rosey, Rhyno, Ric Flair, Shelton Benjamin, Johnny Nitro, Val Venis, Garrison Cade, Sylvain Grenier, Rob Conway

The winner gets Benoit at Bad Blood and there are only eighteen people here instead of twenty. Everyone but Kane goes after Evolution to start but it’s Richards and Nitro out early on. Kane dumps out Rosey as well as they’re clearing the ring out pretty fast this time. Hurricane gets tossed onto Rosey but his feet never touch the floor.

Back from a break with 28 arms remaining as Conway was eliminated during the commercial. HHH eliminates Maven and Venis but needs Batista to save him from Jericho. Speaking of Jericho, he gets rid of Grenier, and Cade as we have ten left. Evolution of course works together and stomps Rhyno down before tossing him out. Hurricane is eliminated next but Jericho dropkicks HHH as we take a second break.

Back again with the same eight left and Jericho bulldogging HHH down. Flair puts Jericho in the Figure Four (Lawler: “I think he just wants to punish Jericho.”) for a few seconds as Batista saves Orton from being tossed. Jericho is back up and clotheslines Flair out but Batista throws him over the top, with his knees crashing into the steps on the way out. Egads that looked terrible and hopefully he’s not hurt.

Shelton skins the cat to stay alive and HHH’s facebuster has no effect on Kane. That earns HHH a chokeslam, followed by one each to everyone not named Batista. The big slugout is on with Batista escaping the chokeslam and hitting a spinebuster. Edge is back up with a clothesline to get rid of Batista and a bunch of spears but Orton low bridges him to the floor. So we’re down to Benjamin, HHH, Kane and Orton and it’s Orton up first.

Now it’s Shelton’s turn to clean house until a HHH knee to the face cuts him off. Benjamin gets sent to the apron but hangs on by a hand, then by a leg. For some reason, HHH pulls him back in and gets rewarded by a run up the ropes into a high crossbody that takes Orton down as well. There’s the Dragon Whip to Kane and Shelton eliminates Orton (there’s a Bad Blood title match) to get us down to three. HHH low blows Kane to break up a chokeslam attempt and gets rid of Benjamin himself. Cue Michaels to run in and beat up HHH, including a clothesline for the elimination to give Kane the win.

Rating: B. The important thing to have in a battle royal like this is some extra time with the potential winners in there and that’s what we had here. They got rid of a lot of the people with no chance and went with the major names for an extended time. The ending wasn’t the biggest secret in the world and Kane…is an acceptable choice at best but it’s better than another HHH title match.

Shawn bails into the crowd as HHH screams to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. Storyline advancement, two quite good matches, storylines that make sense and a few that make you wonder where they’re going and nothing that went on longer than it needed to. It’s a well done wrestling show and you don’t get that on Tuesdays at all anymore. Why WWE can’t get at least a decent show out of both rosters but they’re still not pulling it off here. At least Raw is awesome though and this was one of the best in a long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

You need to be watching this show.

WWE puts out a freaking ton of stuff on their YouTube channel and there is nothing that tops Formerly Known As. This show is basically a look back at wrestlers and where they came from with whoever the show is about that week going back to their old stomping grounds. They’ll go to wherever they started wrestling, often talking to their trainer or someone they started with while footage of their early career is shown. These things are great and more than worth checking out.

Here’s the playlist with all of the full shows and some shorter clips:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URcuVDVJmXY&list=PLqIVmFaHA8BpqzUCRjguaxzNNaGTUVA8l

Check this out as it’s more than worth your time.

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 17, 2003
Location: SE Texas Arena, Beaumont, Texas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re past Survivor Series and that means we’re on the way to Armageddon to end the year. Eric Bischoff is back in full control of the show as Steve Austin’s team lost last night. I’m sure we’ll NEVER see him again. Goldberg is still the Raw World Champion too, having dispatched Evolution on a bad ankle. Why do I have a feeling that the HHH feud is far from over though? Let’s get to it.

Here’s Survivor Series if you need a recap.

Austin’s face comes up at the end of the opening and Bischoff spray paints it out. Not bad for a chuckle.

We hear Austin’s post match speech from last night, complete with photos and clips of his career, all the way back to 1989. The shot closes on the two beer cans Austin left in the ring.

In the arena, Bischoff and his team from last night look down on the same beer cans, which Eric stomps on. Those who have supported him are in for some good times but for those against him, it’s the beginning of the end. Each member of his team gets a special favor, good for anything anytime (within reason).

Cue the rest of Evolution with HHH congratulating Bischoff on his victory last night. The thing is though, it was Evolution that gave Bischoff the win. Without them, Austin would still be in charge. Bischoff agrees, so HHH can have a rematch with Goldberg any time. In a bizarre line, HHH says that’s “very white” of Bischoff (HHH to Long and Henry: “No offense guys.”). HHH blames the sledgehammer for the loss and instead of a title match tonight, we’ll have a 3-1 handicap match with Goldberg facing Evolution minus Flair. Bischoff says that’s the bottom line.

Booker T. vs. Mark Henry

Booker wastes no time in hammering away but some hard forearms knock him backwards in a hurry. A kick to the chest rocks Henry but one heck of a clothesline takes care of that. They’re already doing things right with Henry here: have Henry stand in the middle while the more talented guy does his thing and bounces off of Henry. A sleeper brings Henry down to a knee until he powers Booker into the corner. Booker gets run over for good measure and Henry stands on his chest. Again: using the power game in simple, effective way is what serves Henry best.

We hit the neck crank for a bit until Henry misses a charge in the corner. Booker kicks away and the ax kick FINALLY puts Henry down. The missile dropkick does it again but Henry counters a third kick into a powerslam for two. Henry tries another charge into the corner, only to get rolled up with Booker putting his feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not too shabby at all here with Booker knowing how to get the best out of Henry. I know he gets a lot of flack and a lot of it is deserved but Henry has a role that few can play. Let him do his thing like this (maybe winning a match here or there) and it might get him somewhere. That’s a good asset to have when you need to give someone a rub down the line.

La Resistance vs. Mark Jindrak/Garrison Cade

There’s no graphic behind Cade and Jindrak’s names for some reason. The Americans clean house to start and for some reason, Cade is allowed to talk. He brings up his fellow Texans and dedicates the match to the armed forces (well to be fair it’s been like a week). Those are fighting words so we’re ready to go.

Back in and Conway scores with a hurricanrana as JR recaps the night. We’re not even half an hour into the show so it’s a bit early for a recap. A throat snap across the top rope gives Conway two on Jindrak but he suplexes Dupree out of the corner. Cade comes in to clean house and a very hard clothesline gets two on Dupree. The dropkick/spinebuster combination puts Conway away. The match was barely long enough to rate and the promo was after the bell. Not much to this one of course, but at least the rookies got a clean win for a change.

Shawn Michaels has something to say about the loss last night but Bischoff cuts the interview. Shawn talks about everything that went down last night and said it was about doing the right thing. All Bischoff cares about is the power but Bischoff says he didn’t lose last night like Michaels did. For tonight, Shawn is ejected from the building.

Stills of the ambulance match, which again made Shane look like a bigger star than most of the roster.

Kane will be on Smackdown to eulogize the Dudleys.

Scott Steiner has used his favor to get himself and Test a Tag Team Title shot. In exchange, he’s no longer Test’s property. Test agrees but makes it clear that Stacy is still his property and will do what he wants.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Ric Flair

Flair is challenging, Orton is on commentary and as per Bischoff’s orders, the Five Star is banned. They pose at each other to start until Rob kicks him down and gets two off a standing moonsault. A spinning legdrop sends Flair bailing and it’s time for a slugout on the floor with Rob getting the better of it.

JR complains about the Five Star being banned, saying it would be like banning the RKO. Orton warns them to watch it because he seems them as a legendary announce team. Lawler gets the threat and says JR is a legend but says nothing about himself. As expected, it seems to go sailing over JR’s head. Flair sends him knee first into the steps to take over but the knee is fine enough for a spinwheel kick.

The Figure Four goes on until Rob turns it over so there’s a chop block for even worse measure. Rob pops back up with a middle rope spinning crossbody and superkicks Flair down. That’s enough to bring Orton to ringside but Rob kicks him down as well. Ric’s low blow only gets two and Rob loads up the Five Star, drawing in Orton for an RKO off the top and the DQ.

Rating: C. They were getting going here and that’s a good sign for when Orton takes the title from Van Dam. This seemed to exist for the sake of making Orton the next challenger and that’s the right call. Orton needs something like that to establish himself more as for now, he’s just a bunch of potential without a big win.

Orton puts the title on and drops it on Rob.

Coach makes fun of Hurricane and Rosey before going into Bischoff’s office. Eric has a big surprise for next week: Raw Roulette! In Salt Lake City, Utah! Bischoff is holding it there because the city is boring and they need something to make the show interesting.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Jericho saying it’s not his fault that Austin was in over his head. Jericho wasn’t the sole survivor last night but he was the one who got the match off the ground in the first place. So he deserves a H*** YEAH for helping get rid of Austin! That brings him to his guest this week: Lita. She doesn’t seem happy to be here and doesn’t want to hear anything about Jericho or especially Christian.

Instead here’s Matt Hardy to return to Raw, drawing a big smile from Lita. Matt quickly kisses her and has a question that he has to ask from one knee. Before it can be asked though, here’s Molly Holly to interrupt. She has a question of her own: what does she have to do to get some respect around here? She’s the Women’s Champion and beat Lita at Survivor Series but who is out here getting the attention? Jericho likes the animosity and thinks we should have a mixed tag tonight. Molly agrees, but with Bischoff as her partner. Matt and Lita don’t know what to think.

Post break Bischoff asks what Molly is thinking. She thought this could be the beginning of the end for Lita, so Bischoff adds some stipulations: if they win, Lita is fired for good. If Matt and Lita win, Lita gets a rematch for the Women’s Title.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Scott Steiner/Test

Steiner/Test are challenging. The fans want tables but have to wait through D-Von and Test starting things off. Lawler: “They don’t have tables here in Beaumont, Texas? Do they eat off the floor?” Test powers him around to start but walks into a jumping elbow to the jaw. Steiner comes in and gets punched in the head for his efforts, before it’s off to Bubba in his hardcore shorts.

Stacy cheers as Bubba hits a side slam but then sits back down in her chair so Test can yell at her some more. We actually hear about the Duchess of Dudleyville, with Lawler bringing up the history. I’m as confused as you are. It’s back to Test for a running clothesline in the corner, followed by jumping jacks for a little exercise. You have to get it in when you can.

We hit the chinlock and Stacy slaps the mat to get Bubba back to his feet. That means a Bubba Bomb for a break and the hot tag brings in D-Von to clean house. Everything breaks down and a thumb to the eye looks to set up Test’s pumphandle slam. That’s escaped as well and What’s Up Test. He’s right back up (make your own joke) with a full nelson slam to D-Von but now he wants Stacy to throw him a belt. She says no, and that means a 3D to retain the titles.

Rating: C+. Actually a good match here with both teams getting to look good out there. Test and Steiner are fine for a power team and I would have tolerated them a lot more over the last several months had they just done this rather than the whole feud and owning Stacy thing. They need another few teams but the tag division is starting to put some pieces together for a change.

Matt and Lita are in the back with Matt saying he wanted their first kiss to be in front of the world. Haven’t they done that already? Anyway, now it’s about getting her a shot at the Women’s Title. Matt leaves and Trish comes in for the rapid fire giggling.

Lita/Matt Hardy vs. Molly Holly/Eric Bischoff

They all get jobber entrances for some reason and genders can mix. Lita throws Molly down to start as the announcers point out Bischoff wrestling in a suit. That’s rather nice for a change as there’s no reason for him to have gear ready. Molly pulls Lita into the corner for two and we hit the chinlock. A Reverse DDT gets Lita out of trouble as Jerry keeps talking about the suit. Eric comes in and gets slapped, allowing Matt to….drop to the floor instead of coming in. Bischoff pulls Lita down by the hair and gets a really bad rollup (there’s no way I’m buying Lita couldn’t kick out of that) for the pin.

Post match Matt says he was going to ask Lita how she could be so selfish. All she had to do was come join him on Smackdown but instead she had to come back to Raw for the Women’s Title. She couldn’t even do that right though and it’s clear that the title and her career mean more than him and their relationship. They are THROUGH and Matt walks out. And that’s the end of any drama between them for the rest of time.

Val Venis vs. Rico

Venis has the women and Lance Storm to counter Miss Jackie. An early shoulder puts Rico down as the announcers start talking about Matt and Lita as this is pretty clearly just background noise for their chatter. Rico escapes a suplex and grabs a Backstabber to take over as the announcers talk about the ratings.

We get back to the match with Rico hitting a knee lift and a discussion about which section of the closet Rico is in/coming out of/was in. Rico drops an elbow and gyrates the hips as the discussion moves to JR being put on the Roulette wheel next week. This is reaching WCW levels of ignoring the match.

Rico grabs the chinlock as Jerry thinks JR could be in an inferno match and JR reacts accordingly. Val fights up and hits some clotheslines as JR says Rico wouldn’t fit in down in Muskogee. A Blue Thunder Bomb gets two and Val’s big boot gets the same. The Money Shot is loaded up but Val has to kick Jackie to the floor (in a big crash). She gets up to look at Storm, which isn’t noteworthy on its own but does include probably the longest nip slip in WWE history (edited but still visible on the Network). Rico gets shoved down as well and now the Money Shot is good for the pin. Storm wasn’t a factor.

Rating: D+. The wrestling wasn’t the worst (though it could have been about three minutes shorter) but the commentary here was what got the most focus. It was clear that the match was just there because they didn’t have anything else to do and I feel sorry for the wrestlers then. It’s nice to have them get out there and get to show off what they can do (in a watchable enough match) but egads can the announcers pretend that it matters?

Post match, Val and Storm dance with the ladies.

Lita (with her dog in her purse, which always looks dumb) is leaving when she runs into Christian. He has good news for her: he used his Bischoff favor to get her job back. Christian even picks up her bag and offers a shoulder to cry on, which she accepts.

Same Austin video as the opener.

We look at Orton RKOing Mark Cuban. Why that wasn’t a dark segment eludes me.

Orton has cashed in his favor for an Intercontinental Title shot at the next (unnamed) pay per view. He lists off some great Intercontinental Champions, forgetting HHH until the boss points it out. That’s fine enough because all that matters to HHH is getting the pin tonight in the handicap match.

Jericho asks Trish out for another date but she turns him down for being in on the Matt/Lita shenanigans. He denies all involvement and somehow offers up enough charm to get a kiss out of the whole thing.

Evolution vs. Goldberg

Orton starts for the team but his partners are quickly knocked to the floor with Randy being tossed on top of them. It’s off to Batista for the big power showdown but Goldberg knocks him down with one shot, followed by a powerslam for two. The ankle seems fine so far. HHH comes in and gets hammered in the face and suplexed.

Flair breaks up the spear though and HHH’s jumping knee to the face takes over. Orton’s dropkick rocks Goldberg but he spears the heck out of HHH. Batista and Orton get clotheslined down, only to have HHH come back with the facebuster. There’s the RKO (JR: “You gotta get up Billy.”) and a Batista Bomb, followed by the Pedigree to end Goldberg.

Rating: D. So to the shock of no one, last night’s win over HHH means nothing because we’re still waiting on him to get his title back from Goldberg. The normal question would be “well if that match didn’t count, why should I watch the next pay per view?” but that’s answered because everything gets important as soon as HHH gets the title back. This was all about rebuilding HHH, because Heaven forbid we go a DAY without him getting the upper hand on Goldberg.

Post match HHH says he’s cashing in his rematch next week. Tonight isn’t over though and he wraps a chair around Goldberg’s neck, drawing out Kane for the unlikely save. A sloppy chokeslam plants Goldberg to end the show instead.

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling wasn’t the worst here but the important thing was the storytelling. HHH aside, this show moved a lot of the stories in new and/or positive directions. Trish/Lita/Jericho/Christian in particular is really shaping up and there are several ways they could go with it. Throw in a lot of people having issues with Bischoff and the need for some fresh names to rise up and fight him and I’m actually interested in where some of this stuff goes. Better show than recent weeks, and I’m curious to see where a lot of it goes.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 9, 2018
Location: Smoothie King Center, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

As usual, this could be the most interesting show of the year. Tonight could be filled with major angles, returns and surprises, all of which could become big deals in a hurry. Or it could be all about Roman Reigns, who managed to not win the Universal Title from Brock Lesnar last night. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Wrestlemania if you need a recap.

I was in the arena for this show, sitting in the upper deck on the opposite side from the hard camera, looking nearly straight down at the ring.

Here’s Stephanie McMahon, walking very slowly and with her arm in a cast after last night, to open the show. Cole talks about how Ronda Rousey’s debut may be the best debut in Wrestlemania history. Does that mean the best wrestler to debut at Wrestlemania (As in she’s better than Fandango and Baron Corbin? Or the best ever first match at Wrestlemania? I’m thinking someone else has probably done it better before). Stephanie talks about the post Wrestlemania crowd having an international flavor (Is that an insult?) but she expected at least SOME sympathy.

She did tap out last night but the fans have to admit that one woman did everything she could last night and made the transition. Yes Stephanie did make that transition and was amazing so she deserves all the praise. This brings out Rousey to a very nice reception (which she earned) and even Stephanie gives her credit for last night. Rousey is a role model and a superstar and with Stephanie guiding her, they can reach new heights. The fans tell Stephanie to shut the F up so Stephanie calls Rousey her friend….and offers a handshake.

Now if you don’t know where this is going and yeah I’m not even going to finish that. Rousey hugs her and smiles before shifting to the death stare. Stephanie gets taken down by the bad arm and Rousey takes the brace off to crank it back all over again. Referees run in for the late save and Rousey is all smiles. She’s getting better at the facial expressions and really does come off like a star. Medics come out to check on Stephanie and the fans tell her that she deserves it. As she’s leaving, JoJo asks for a little respect for Stephanie. I was hoping that made the broadcast because it made me laugh in my seat.

My issues with Stephanie are fairly well known but I LOVED this. The key to Stephanie is her being in on the joke and that doesn’t happen very often. This time she was in full on obnoxious heel mode but with a bit of a wink to the camera that she knew she was about to be destroyed. That made this workable because she was FINALLY getting what was coming to her. I know you can’t have it happen all the time, but once a year isn’t quite often enough.

The announcers do their usual “this crowd is insane” speech. Good to see them cover themselves like that as the fans actually get through for a change.

The Superstar Shakeup is confirmed, thereby making almost everything you see here tonight a lot less important.

Here’s Nia Jax for a tag match with a surprise partner. The fans tell Nia that she deserves it but Bliss doesn’t seem to share the mentality. Apparently Nia is the real bully here, even bigger than Rousey. Bliss talks about Nia being so much bigger and running over someone innocent like Mickie. Last night Nia assaulted Mickie before the match and Alexa was competing under emotional distress. Everyone knows how horrible Nia is and that’s why she doesn’t have a partner tonight. Nia: “Shut up Alexa!” She did enjoy what she did to Mickie and Alexa last night and she’s the new Raw Women’s Champion. She does have a partner.

Nia Jax/Ember Moon vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James

Makes perfect sense (the fans knew too) as Ember clearly wasn’t going to get the title back in NXT and wasn’t going to evolve all that much more down there anyway. Nia throws Mickie across the ring to start (maybe Mickie wasn’t ready) so Mickie kicks her in the knee. Bliss comes in and Nia chokes both of them at once before handing it off to Ember.

The announcers try to explain Ember but realize it’s not that easy because she doesn’t really have a character. Ember enziguris Alexa, slips a bit off a springboard (a quick camera cut protected it very well) and takes Bliss down with a spinning crossbody. A legsweep sets up the Eclipse to end Bliss clean at 3:00.

Rating: C. This was exactly what it needed to be: Ember debuts, gets a huge clean pin over Bliss, and looks awesome in the process. The Eclipse is all she needs to do for a long time as that’s one of the coolest finishers in a long time. Nia as a face could be a work in progress but at least she got the big moment to start.

Braun Strowman comes in to see Kurt Angle and blocks out Nicholas from Kurt’s view. As soon as he steps aside though, the fans go coconuts. Strowman hates to do this but they relinquish the Tag Team Titles. See, Nicholas has a scheduling conflict: he’s still in the fourth grade. As soon as he’s done with school though, they’re coming back to win the titles. Nicholas promises that someone will GET THESE HANDS. If Nicholas makes a cameo in ten years, I can die a happy man.

What doesn’t make me happy though is this whole thing. If they weren’t going to have Strowman keep the titles anyway, then why do the whole thing? Why have the Bar lose to a ten year old and then just drop the titles the next night? Give Strowman a partner who loses the fall and set up something with them. Or bring someone up from NXT to give them an instant rub. Just do ANYTHING but this and it’s an improvement. The more I think about this, the worse it gets, especially since the Bar is likely getting the belts back in Saudi Arabia, making this whole thing just a way to inflate their title count.

No Way Jose debuts next. I’m a big fan and he could open house shows forever, but the same character didn’t work for Adam Rose.

No Way Jose vs. John Skylar

Jose has a Conga line and wins with the pop up right hand in 26 seconds. The entrance is all that matters anyway.

The Bar comes in to say they’re ready to take their titles back. Not so fast though (Kurt: “You guys lost to a freaking ten year old!”) as they can be in the title match, but their opponents will be determined by a four team tournament over the next two weeks.

Tag Team Eliminator First Round: Revival vs. Anderson and Gallows

Joined in progress with Anderson throwing Dawson around and declaring him a NERD. Revival gets smart by taking out the knee with Wilder cranking back and bending the leg in various odd directions. Dawson dives over to prevent a tag as they’re trying to get that Revival formula going. A big boot to the face is enough to bring in Anderson though and that means HI YAH in the corner. Anderson dives onto Wilder but Dawson rolls through a high crossbody for two (with tights). Everything breaks down and Gallows gets sent into the barricade, leaving Anderson to eat the Shatter Machine for the pin at 3:41 shown.

Rating: D+. Nothing match here due to time and that’s the problem with Revival on the main roster: they’re built around the long matches which allow them to really set something up. That’s not the case on the main roster as they only have a few minutes. You can’t make it work that way and, injuries aside, it’s the biggest reason why the Revival is no longer the Revival.

John Cena Make-A-Wish ad. Thankfully this earns applause, because even Wrestlemania fans have some heart.

Here’s Seth Rollins for a chat. The fans are all about Rollins here with another YOU DESERVE IT chant. Seth says it’s been a long road back but that was the loudest BURN IT DOWN ever. After last night, he’s back and now a Grand Slam winner, just like the rest of the Shield. He talks about how special it was to complete the Grand Slam in front of fans like these but here’s Finn Balor to interrupt.

Balor gets straight to the point: Rollins was the better man last night but there was someone who wasn’t the winner or a loser and that man wants more. He wants to be the first challenger for the Intercontinental Title and Rollins will shake to that. This brings out Miz and the Miztourage with Miz ranting about how Rollins doesn’t deserve to be champion. It was Miz who made the title what it is but he slips up and says he can’t win without the Miztourage backing him up.

Miz is a changed man after becoming a father to his new daughter. Fans: “HE’S GOT KIDS!” Last night, his daughter watched the match in Maryse’s arms and when Miz lost, she started crying. Miz: “You made my little princess cry.” That made Maryse cry and Miz cried when he heard about it. Seth: “That’s what everyone does when they watch you try to wrestle.”

Miz has a rematch clause and since Balor lost last night, he goes to the back of the line. Rollins is ready now but Miz isn’t wrestling in this suit. Instead he’ll do it at Backlash but if they want a fight tonight, a handicap match is fine. Cue the returning Jeff Hardy to even things up and the Miztourage bails.

Back from a break with the six man being set for later.

Sasha Banks vs. Mandy Rose

Absolution and Bayley are at ringside. Sasha sends her outside for a baseball slide to start as the fans sing about Bayley. A suplex gives Sasha two as Corey is very glad that he gets to commentate both shows, meaning he always gets to see Mandy. Sasha gets dropped throat first across the top rope and we take a break.

Back with Mandy holding an abdominal stretch until Sasha slips out and hits a knee in the corner. The top rope double knees get two and they head outside where Mandy….seems to mistime whatever she was supposed to be ready for. Mandy goes after Bayley, who hits Sasha by mistake in the next logical step. Back in and Mandy knees Sasha in the face for the pin at 6:55.

Rating: D. The botches were hurting it but Bayley vs. Banks is what matters most here. Absolution is fine at the moment with Paige being the adviser but I’m not sure how long that’s going to work without another top level star. Mandy and Sonya are getting better but they’re a long way behind the top level talent.

Post match Bayley leaves and Paige talks about how hard it was to be on the sidelines yesterday at Wrestlemania. This ring is her soul but due to neck injuries, her in-ring career is over. The THANK YOU PAIGE chants start up in a hurry and Paige thanks the locker room for growing the division into something they never could have dreamed of. She also wants to thank Daniel Bryan for giving her hope that she might be able to come back some day as well.

Earlier today Edge spoke to her and showed her that there’s life outside of wrestling. Edge has a family and acting career but now Paige has to go find something else. WWE has allowed her to do this for the last four years. She debuted here four years ago and won the Divas Championship so she wants to retire here as well.

Paige starts to cry so we get a THIS IS YOUR HOUSE chant. This will always be her house and she takes the shirt from around her waist, leaving it in the ring before walking up the ramp. I know she’s had some issues over the years but there’s no denying that she played a big role in the Women’s Revolution. It’s a shame that she’s done at such a young age and I hope she gets to do this again someday.

The announcers recap John Cena vs. Undertaker.

Here’s Elias for a song. The fans get that WWE stands for WALK WITH ELIAS and last night they paid for an Elias performance. That means an OH WALK WITH ELIAS chant but Elias calls them scumbags. Fans: “WE ARE SCUMBAGS!” The song is about how he wants to punch the clapping fans in the face….and here’s the returning Bobby Lashley. House is cleaned in a hurry and Lashley hits a delayed vertical suplex (with one arm free at times) to drop Elias. Lashley won’t be around long but let him make an impact while he can.

Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn come to see Kurt Angle to ask for a job. Sure they had a falling out with their management but that won’t happen here. Angle: “My tag team division is full, but I hear that TNA is hiring.” After the line of the year, Angle says he can’t hire them both. He has one spot available so they can wrestle for the contract tonight.

Here are Heath Slater and Rhyno to issue an open challenge. Oh man that’s never a good idea on this show.

Heath Slater/Rhyno vs. Authors of Pain

Pounding abounds and the Last Chapter ends Slater at 49 seconds.

Post match the Authors walk away from Paul Ellering. Maybe he just didn’t want to do the full schedule?

Here’s Roman Reigns for a chat. He took a beating last night but he’s here while Brock Lesnar isn’t. When he got to the Superdome yesterday, no one could look him in the eye. As of this past Wednesday, Lesnar was done and going to the UFC. Now though they have another match in a cage in Saudi Arabia later this month. That means Reigns can win the title there in a match he found out about on the internet. This brings out Samoa Joe to say Reigns exposed Lesnar last night.

For over a year, Reigns has been saying he’s the only one who can beat Lesnar. It doesn’t matter who couldn’t look at Roman because he’s a failure. It also makes him a liar because he can’t beat Brock Lesnar. Every time the Beast meets the Big Dog, the Big Dog gets conquered. After Lesnar makes Reigns fail again, Samoa Joe will be waiting at Backlash to put him to sleep. As usual, Joe was great here with the commanding voice and fire in his eyes. Joe as the new #1 contender could do some great things, especially if he eventually wins the title.

Tag Team Eliminator First Round: Titus Worldwide vs. Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt

Before the match, Hardy talks to the Andre the Giant trophy, saying it’s time to start on the expedition of gold. Bray shows up and laughter ensues, allowing them to appear in the ring. Matt and Titus have the required pose off and Matt hammers away. Bray comes in and the fans give him a little He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands.

The announcers discuss whether these chants are more like football games or soccer until Apollo comes in with a flip. Matt and Bray find this WONDERFUL but beat on Apollo anyway. A series of rams into the buckle have Apollo in trouble but he gets in a dropkick to stagger Bray. That just earns him a release Rock Bottom as Titus is knocked to the floor. Bray tosses Apollo into the Twist of Fate (called Sister Abigail into the Twist, which is nonsense) for the pin at 5:08.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here with the right team winning. There’s no reason to believe that Titus Worldwide are going to be anything more than jobbers to the stars so having them put Matt and Bray over here was the right call. You can almost guarantee that Bray and Matt are going to the title match and it might be the right move to put the titles on them this soon.

We recap the opening sequence.

Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn

The winner gets a Raw contract. Cole points out that the loser here will NOT be allowed in the Superstar Shakeup, which could make things more interesting. Sami misses the Helluva Kick at the bell and he has to explain the attempt at the fast start. Owens gets low bridged….to the apron as Sami doesn’t get the rope low enough and Owens goes through the ropes instead. He’s smart enough to hammer Sami in the head but gets knocked to the floor for a big flip dive.

A hard right hand breaks up a springboard but Sami catapults him face first into the post. Back in and Sami gets crotched, setting up a Vader Bomb elbow for two. We take a break and come back with Cole sounding like he’s talking to production and Sami getting two off the Blue Thunder Bomb. They head outside again with Sami’s dive through the ropes eating a superkick.

Back in and the frog splash gets two and Owens follows it up with a corner clothesline. He tries another but Sami is right behind him with the Helluva Kick to send him to the apron. There’s the Pop Up Powerbomb but Owens falls to the floor for some reason. Back in and Owens goes up, only to get kicked in the face again. Sami superplexes him down and neither can get up, meaning it’s a double knockout at 10:18.

Rating: B. These two are always penciled in for a solid match and that’s what they had here. I’m not exactly surprised by the ending either, which leaves the story open for a few weeks. They could wind up on either show through one shenanigan or another (say through a new Smackdown GM) or as free agent signings after the Shakeup. Getting a good match out of it helps too.

Post match, the fans chant TNA.

Matt and Jeff run into each other with Matt saying he was glad to hear about Jeff getting over being broken. Jeff left him a message but it must have been DELETED. Matt must have been preparing for Andre’s battle of the giants. Indeed he was, and he won, thanks to the help of an old foe. Bray comes in and hugs Brother Nero, who is glad that Sister Abigail has been rendered OBSOLETE. Bray is now feeling wonderful and walks off with Matt. The camera pans over to Balor and Rollins, who are very confused. Jeff just shrugs and leaves.

Great little segment here, as just putting normal people (Rollins and Balor qualify here) into this strange world that is wrestling makes things all the better. That’s a guaranteed way to get a chuckle in wrestling as these are crazy people doing crazy things but when you live in the wrestling bubble, everything seems fine. Looking at it through the eyes of the normal people makes it all the funnier.

Next week: Bayley vs. Sasha Banks.

Jeff Hardy/Finn Balor/Seth Rollins vs. Miz/Miztourage

Before Finn’s entrance, the production crew replaced a piece of the stage, which I thought would be a Rey Mysterio entrance but turned out to just be for the smoke in Balor’s entrance. Miz and Rollins start but let’s hand it off to Axel instead. Rollins kicks both lackeys in the face and it’s off to Jeff for some Poetry in Motion to Axel and Dallas. Finn and Seth play decent Matt’s actually.

Back from a break with Balor coming in and forearming all three villains. Miz offers a distraction though and Dallas decks Balor from behind. Now Miz is glad to come in with a chinlock, followed by the Hennig necksnap from Axel. Dallas drops some knees and grabs a chinlock of his own as we’re not exactly setting any new standards here (as they shouldn’t be here). Balor finally dropkicks Miz down and the hot tag brings in Jeff to clean house.

A Whisper in the Wind takes down the Miztourage as you can see Rollins getting all charged up on the apron. The diving tag brings in Seth with a springboard clothesline to Miz. Rollins suicide dives onto all three of them for a big crash and we hit a BURN IT DOWN chant. Back in and the superplex into the Falcon Arrow (Cole: “Tonight he hits it!” He hit it last night too.) gets two on Miz with Dallas making the save. Finn dives onto Axel and Dallas and the Stomp finishes Miz at 13:56.

Rating: C+. This was just an easy way to end the show and that’s all it needed to be. I would have had Jeff come out later in the night, but that would have meant the lack of the Matt segment so it balances out. Rollins pinning Miz again is fine, especially with the title match already being set. It’s not like Miz is going to be damaged by a loss in a six man tag so this was fine all around.

Post match Dallas takes a Twist of Fate, Coup de Grace, Swanton and Stomp. Axel gets a similar treatment and a Stomp to Miz ends the show.

The dark segment saw Rollins telling the fans to throw in their beach balls. Several fans obliged and the good guys batted them around for a few minutes to wrap up the night.

Overall Rating: B+. I had a good time with this show as they went with a string of debuts and returns instead of one or two big angles. They didn’t really have a big moment here but they did set up stuff for both the Greatest Royal Rumble and Backlash. The problem with that is it made things feel like they were flying through tonight instead of actually focusing here, which is understandable given how the fans can react to something they don’t like. All in all though, this was a VERY entertaining show and makes things rather interesting going into next week’s Shakeup.

Results

Ember Moon/Nia Jax b. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James – Eclipse to Bliss

No Way Jose b. John Skylar – Pop Up Punch

Revival b. Anderson and Gallows – Shatter Machine to Anderson

Mandy Rose b. Sasha Banks – Knee to the face

Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt b. Titus Worldwide – Twist of Fate to Apollo

Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens went to a double knockout

Seth Rollins/Finn Balor/Jeff Hardy b. Miz/Miztourage – Stomp to Miz

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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