Best of 2016: Angle of the Year

It wouldn’t be right if I was on time with these things but they’re mostly written up.  I’ll be able to do more than one a day (not saying twice a day) and hopefully get these done before they’re completely ridiculous. Today we’re going to have something a bit more long term with Angle of the Year (aside from Kurt of course). This time we have the best stories of the year and see which ones were the absolute strongest, be it for comedy, drama or just good storytelling in general. As usual, these are in no particular order and only WWE stories were considered.

1. Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens Are Best Friends

You might be seeing Jericho on here later but this one deserves its own entry. These two have been the top heels on “Monday Night Raw” for a few months now (depending on what mood Stephanie McMahon is in that week) and have produced some great comedic moments. Jericho has had one of the best career resurgences I can remember in recent years in 2016 and his material with Owens is some of the best stuff he’s done this year.

I can get the idea that the constant teases of breakups are getting annoying but it’s going to make things even better when they finally do split up for good, likely due to Jericho putting Owens on the list. I know Jericho is going to get most of the praise for this team but Owens has more than pulled his weight throughout the entire angle. He’s been a perfect partner for Jericho and the World Title makes the story seem even more important.

Above all else though, the story has been funny. They have great chemistry together and Owens is so great at insulting a crowd that Jericho has something to bounce off of. It’s been funny, had some drama and is just all around entertaining. That’s really hard to do in today’s WWE and these two Canadians have done it as well as anyone has in a good while.

2. Heath Slater Has Kids!

If there’s one person who has been playing with the house’s money all year and has no business being this high on the card for this long, it’s Slater. After a few weeks of being bounced back and forth between the two shows in an attempt to earn a contract, Slater was given an ultimatum: find a partner to win the Smackdown Tag Team Title tournament or get out for good. In what might be the surprise of the year, Slater and Rhyno actually won the titles and earned Slater a contract. Why is this so important you ask?

As the title says, Heath Slater has kids! This turned into a battle cry for Slater, who had somewhere between two and ten kids (who we would eventually meet). He and his very redneck wife had a dream of installing an above ground pool while eating spray cheese and crackers like a real, middle class family.

This was a great example of what “Smackdown Live” does best: take something so simple and basic as Heath Slater is a country boy and turn it into a story. They wound up getting some crazy mileage out of it, especially when you consider how much Slater has floundered over the years. This gave him a much longer shelf life in WWE and was entertaining at the same time. That’s a great story and one of the best angles of the year.

3. James Ellsworth

Nothing specific here but rather just Ellsworth in general. Ellsworth appeared over the summer as a victim of Braun Strowman and then came back later on in the year as AJ Styles’ mystery tag team partner. While Ellsworth was attacked and replace by Miz, Dean Ambrose took notice and eventually made Ellsworth something like a charity case, treating him as a little buddy for the next few months.

This turned into one heck of a roll for Ellsworth, who went on to defeat Styles three times in a row, earning himself a WWE contract and Smackdown World Title shot in the process. Above all else though, the key to Ellsworth was he barely ever had a single offensive maneuver. Most of his offense was either done by Ambrose behind the referee’s back or some pathetic right hands. Ellsworth’s only move, a superkick, was dubbed No Chin Music due to his, shall we say, oddly shaped face. When Ambrose wasn’t helping, Styles defeated Ellsworth in less than a minute, though Carmella of all people took a liking to Ellsworth next.

While there is certainly a case to be made that Ellsworth overstayed his welcome, I classify him as someone who is completely harmless and rather entertaining at times. There’s just something entertaining about this weird looking guy going further and further every week, only to get destroyed when it came down to a straight match. The character goes too far if it’s something like Eugene, who was put in a competitive match against Triple H at one point. Ellsworth wasn’t very good and was never treated as very good, which kept him as harmless and entertaining like he should have been.

4. Broken Matt Hardy

I’ve said almost all I can say about this story but my goodness does it get much more amazing than this? I’m really not a big fan of it as the Broken Universe has almost nothing to do with wrestling but GOOD GRIEF the effort put into this has been remarkable. Hardy has literally created his own set of rules and an actual continuity behind them to turn it into one of the most creative things I’ve ever seen.

I know the wrestling isn’t all that outstanding (if you can even still call it wrestling most of the time) but that’s not the point here. It’s given the Hardys a completely new take on wrestling and turned them into something interesting for the first time in way too long. Some of the big matches have gotten repetitive but the original Final Deletion is still outstanding.

That being said, I’m not sure where it goes from here. Hardy is seemingly starting to run out of ideas and the story really has run its course. Like, how do you do more than an entire show built around a single idea? It’s very entertaining but I’m hoping they cut it off before it gets all stale, which TNA has a major problem avoiding a lot of the time.

5. Mick Foley and Sami Zayn

This is an odd one but the talking has carried it to the levels the company has likely been shooting for. Much like Ellsworth, this one starts with an incident involving Strowman. For weeks, the monster known as Strowman had been demanding that “Monday Night Raw” General Manager Foley give him more competition, but that only resulted in a string of rather boring handicap matches. One night, Zayn answered but Strowman wasn’t interested in someone Zayn’s size.

Eventually they did fight and, as is his custom, Zayn was completely destroyed. He wanted a rematch and Foley said no, prompting Zayn to demand a trade to “Smackdown Live”. Foley agreed and the trade offered was Zayn for…..Eva Marie. This set Zayn off and brought out a fire in him that Foley had wanted all along. There was never any trade agreed to and Zayn was given his rematch with Strowman, which he somehow won by lasting the same amount of time as Strowman (just because it’s entertaining doesn’t mean everything has to make sense).

This story worked because it had a distinct arc. Zayn grew a lot out of it and Foley gave him a strong endorsement in the process. One of the keys to this was the fact that Strowman never actually pinned Zayn. Strowman might have had him dead to rites in their first match but Foley stopped it for the sake of saving Zayn’s health. The fact that Zayn wrestled to a draw (or a win as it seems to be called now) was a big moment for him, though I’d be surprised if Strowman doesn’t annihilate him in the final match between the two. If so, at least it was a good story to get us there.

6. The List of Jericho

Where do you even begin with this one? Earlier in the year, Jericho debuted the Gift of Jericho, which was basically just him posing like an imbecile and letting everyone praise him. Eventually he started calling things the “insert name here” of Jericho, culminating with an incident on the September 19 episode of “Monday Night Raw’.

Foley had been getting on Jericho’s nerves so Jericho said Foley was going on the list. Soon thereafter, Jericho started carrying a physical list with him and wrote down various names and things that annoyed him. This led to a VERY popular catchphrase of “YOU JUST MADE THE LIST!”. It turned out that Jericho was actually writing things down the entire time and he actually released it, complete with spelling errors, on his Facebook page.

One of the most important keys to this though has been how everyone has sold it. People like Xavier Woods and Ellsworth seemed terrified of being put on the list and nearly begged Jericho not to put them on. When everyone is playing along (except for McMahon who is of course WAY too cool for something like this), it makes the angle that much stronger. This whole thing worked as well as anything Jericho has done in several years and I continue to be in awe of everything he does. It’s the most entertaining thing I’ve seen all year and is going to be hard to top.

7. Randy Orton Joins the Wyatt Family

We’ll wrap it up with something that not only made sense, but has been played off very well. Orton and Wyatt feuded with each other for a few months with the rest of the Wyatt Family attacking Orton almost every time. Unlike most of the Wyatts’ victims, instead of getting partners to help him with the fight, Orton said “if you can’t beat em, join em”, and that’s exactly what he did.

In the weeks since then, the fans have been waiting on Orton to turn on Wyatt in a big swerve and it just hasn’t come yet. While I can’t imagine this partnership is going to last until “Wrestlemania XXXIII”, it’s still done a very good job at giving us some storytelling, along with FINALLY giving Wyatt his first title in WWE. That was long overdue and it took Orton to actually get us there.

This story isn’t rewriting anything or doing anything we haven’t seen before but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t been good. Orton is the kind of guy that can go from good to evil at the drop of a hat and that’s something that can make this story work so well. I’m sure Orton will turn on Wyatt at some point but all that matters is how big the pop is when that first RKO connects. Until then, just sit back and enjoy something being done by good wrestlers.

You might have noticed how I put these nominees together. That’s right: it’s been on a list, and that’s the choice here. The List of Jericho is even more proof of what happens when you take the dumbest ideas in the world and give it to someone as talented as Jericho. I’ve had more fun seeing Jericho put people on that List than I’ve gotten out of anything else this year and there’s a good chance it’s going to put him back in the World Title picture. Also, I’m going with this over the Broken Universe because, very simply put, the List has led to more wrestling instead of insanity that doesn’t serve many people other than Matt and Jeff.  That’s more than enough for the best angle of the year.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




New Column: 12 Wrestling Things of Christmas

I think the title gives it away and no I’m not singing, thank goodness.

 

http://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-12-wrestling-things-christmas/




Daily News Update – December 14, 2016

Chris Hero Returning to NXT. December 12, 2016.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/chris-hero-returning-to-nxt/

Ratings Up For “Saturday Night Live” Featuring John Cena. December 12, 2016.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/ratings-saturday-night-live-featuring-john-cena/

Former WWE Wrestler Stops Robbery. December 12, 2016.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/former-wwe-wrestler-stops-attempted-robbery/

Cody Rhodes Debuting at “Wrestle Kingdom” Against Former NXT Star. December 12, 2016.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/cody-rhodes-debuting-wrestle-kingdom-former-nxt-star/

WWE Announces Cruiserweight Title Match for “Roadblock 2016”. December 12, 2016.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/wwe-announces-cruiserweight-title-match-roadblock-2016/

Former X-Division Champion Finishes Up with TNA. December 13, 2016.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/former-x-division-champion-finishes-tna/

Bray Wyatt Responds to Broken Matt Hardy’s Open Challenge. December 13, 2016.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/bray-wyatt-responds-broken-matt-hardys-open-challenge/

Roman Reigns Needs to Drop the US Title Immediately. December 13, 2016.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/roman-reigns-needs-drop-us-title-immediately/

See How Samoa Joe Reacts to TNA Chants. December 13, 2016.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/see-samoa-joe-reacts-tna-chants/

“Monday Night Raw” Ratings Down, Worst Week Since October. December 13, 2016.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/monday-night-raw-ratings-worst-week-since-october/

Zack Ryder Injured at “Smackdown Live”. December 14, 2016.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/zack-ryder-injured-smackdown-live/




Smackdown – November 18, 2005: Viva La Legacy

Smackdown
Date: November 18, 2005
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is another request and it’s the Smackdown version of the Eddie Guerrero Tribute Show. On top of that, it was also taped the same night as the Raw version (double taping on a Sunday due to the European trip) which was the day Eddie passed away. I’ve grown to respect Eddie a bit more over the years so it should be interesting to see how this goes. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Smackdown World Champion Batista in a low rider to Eddie’s music for a perfect opening. Batista immediately starts crying and says he’s not sure he’s the right man to be out here. All he knows is that Eddie loved his family and loved this business. He had a lot of demons to deal with but the pain went away when he walked through that curtain. Batista has to pause a bit to fight back the tears and you can feel the real emotion here. Eddie is with God now and Batista isn’t going to let anyone ever forget him.

Eddie video set to 3 Doors Down’s Here Without You. They’re my favorite band so this is about as perfect as it’s going to get. Above all else though: that frog splash was a thing of beauty.

Clip from the Eddie documentary focusing on his childhood and family. It’s kind of weird to hear Eddie talking about his brothers and sister.

The low rider, with Batista’s title on the hood, will be in the aisle all night.

Matt Hardy vs. Carlito

This is interpromotional as Carlito is from Raw. As you’re probably going to guess, these matches aren’t going to mean a thing. Matt is freshly on Smackdown after losing the feud with Edge on Raw. It’s so strange to see Matt looking absolutely svelte. He’s probably 30 pounds lighter than he is today and looks great. Matt grabs the afro to start but gets sent outside to give Carlito control.

The announcers aren’t even bothering with the match as they’re just telling Eddie stories for a nice touch. Carlito loads up the middle rope legdrop but dives into a raised boot (still hate that spot). The Side Effect gives Matt two but Carlito grabs the Backstabber for the same. Matt comes right back with the real middle rope legdrop and the Twist of Fate is good for the win.

Rating: C. This is a good indication of how this night is going and there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s no need to try and make this show mean anything storyline wise so just go out there, have decent matches, and give the fans something to smile about. Good little match here too.

Vince gives a tribute to Eddie, who was a true craftsman. He actually tears up talking about how much Eddie loved his family, both blood and co-workers.

Another documentary clip talking about Eddie meeting Vickie then marrying, losing and getting her back.

Road Warrior Animal/Heidenreich vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

I still have issues calling Animal and Heidenreich the LOD. This is another interpromotional match, which is probably going to be a trend all night. Cade and Heidenreich start things off with the cowboy being taken down off a hard clothesline. The announcers get in a debate over which Tag Team Titles belong on which show (which is why I just go with the show’s name and ignore the official names) as a cheap shot puts Heidenreich in trouble. That goes nowhere as he spears the villains down and makes the hot tag. Everything breaks down and the Doomsday Device ends Cade.

Rating: D+. I’m going a bit lighter on the matches tonight as there’s no reason to go crazy with the ratings, especially when the wrestlers probably aren’t all there mentally. This version of the LOD never worked as Heidenreich didn’t feel like Hawk at all. It didn’t help that the tag divisions were such a mess at this point and even interpromotional stuff wasn’t interesting.

Booker T. and Sharmell miss Eddie with Booker telling a story about getting in a fist fight with Eddie back in WCW.

Documentary stuff on the Lie, Cheat and Steal vignettes. These were some of the first things that really made me appreciate Eddie as a character instead of just a performer. This transitions into a look at all the cheating over the years, which really was hilarious at times.

A sweaty Big Show is glad Eddie isn’t in pain anymore.

Eddie talks about playing other sports but giving them up because he only cared about wrestling. We also hear about his childhood growing up around wrestling because his dad was a promoter.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Chavo still has blonde hair from the Kerwin White gimmick, which was completely done after Eddie passed away. JBL has image consultant Jillian Hall with him. Some forearms in the corner have Chavo in early trouble so he snaps off a headlock takeover. We hit the cheating, including a thumb to the eye to send JBL outside. That’s quite the selling for a basic move.

Back in and the crossbody is caught in a fall away slam to put JBL in control like he should be. The heavy right hands in the corner are accompanied by stories of sewage and burritos. We hit the sleeper, which looks really weird from someone so big on someone so much smaller. Or maybe it’s just that JBL isn’t good at using that move.

Chavo comes back with a dropkick and a DDT to break up another fall away slam. It’s time for a few chairs and of course Chavo throws one to JBL and falls down just like Eddie did so many times. Ok I smiled at that one. The distraction lets Chavo get in a low blow, followed by Three Amigos and a frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C-. The result here means nothing at all as this was all about paying tribute to Eddie. Chavo winning was the only possible option here as he was basically Eddie’s little brother and could wrestle the same style so well. It’s not a good match (fine enough though) but it was exactly what it was supposed to be.

Video of Eddie’s mom talking about his childhood.

The announcers talk about Eddie a bit.

Video on Eddie at Wrestlemania XX. That was the rather awesome match against Kurt Angle where Eddie took his boot off, which they played up in the Summerslam rematch. This leads to the ending of the show which is really hard to watch now.

JBL was Eddie’s arch nemesis but he was lucky enough to be his friend.

Video on Eddie winning the World Title from Brock Lesnar at No Way Out 2004.

Cruiserweight Battle Royal

Tajiri, Gregory Helms, Paul London, Kid Kash, Brian Kendrick, Scotty 2 Hotty, Nunzio, Funaki, Psychosis, Super Crazy, Juventud

Nothing on the line as Juventud is already Cruiserweight Champion. Everybody gangs up on Helms and Tajiri (the Raw guys) but don’t bother to actually eliminate either of them. Kendrick gets kicked out for the first elimination and Super Crazy goes out as well. Tajiri and Funaki follow them, leaving London to do a bunch of springboard kicks to the back. Helms and Nunzio take a double Worm.

Scotty dumps Kash and London does the same to Helms to get us down to five. Make that three as Nunzio gets rid of Scotty, leaving us with Nunzio, Juventud and London. Nunzio’s attempts at alliances don’t work and the Italian is sent out. Both guys wind up on the apron for a kicking battle until they both crawl back inside. Juventud dropkicks London out for the win.

Rating: D+. I’ve seen worse battle royals but few that were more pointless. The champ is entered into a match and then wins the thing? The division wasn’t the most interesting in the world at this point and other than having some cruiserweight stuff involved on the show, I have no idea what this has to do with Eddie.

Video on Eddie and Chyna, which was pretty awesome stuff. His kids try to figure out what Latino Heat means.

We look at Eddie’s last match, a DQ win over Mr. Anderson.

Shane McMahon talks about how cool it is to have major families like the Guerreros (and the Jarretts). He talks about what Eddie meant and breaks down in tears.

Video of the end of Wrestlemania XX with JR’s voice giving out.

Chris Benoit vs. HHH

HHH is a heel here but plays to the crowd during the entrances. Given the circumstances, that’s totally fine. An early Crossface attempt sends HHH to the ropes and we take a breather. Back in and Crossface attempt the sequel gives us the same plot (but likely fewer laughs). This time Benoit follows him out and sends HHH head first into the steps, only to get sent crashing outside as well.

Back from a break with HHH hitting some forearms to the back and getting two off a spinebuster. We hit the abdominal stretch but the powers of an EDDIE chant…..don’t really do much as HHH throws Benoit down. Your standard sleeper reversal sequence is followed by an exchange of failed finishers. That means it’s time for the rolling Germans on HHH and a Swan Dive for two. The Pedigree is countered into the Crossface, which Benoit lets go in favor of a rollup for the pin.

Rating: B. Even the announcers said this was just about having a good match and that’s what we got here. When HHH gets rid of the whole “I’m amazing and one of the best ever” stuff, he can put on some outstanding performances because he really is that talented. I liked this match for different reasons than I usually would have but it was still good stuff.

Benoit chants Eddie’s name and Dean Malenko comes out for the big hug ala Wrestlemania XX to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: A. This is a weird one to grade as the wrestling was actually good but it had nothing to do with the show’s quality. This was about celebrating Eddie’s life and nothing else. I had a lot of fun watching it and actually started missing Eddie as the show went on. I’ve never been the biggest Eddie fan but things like this, where you look back at his career and life, really show how special he truly was. I may not be a huge fan but I certainly respect him, which is probably more important.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – June 17, 2002: Maybe He Should Have Left Earlier

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 17, 2002
Location: The Arena in Oakland, Oakland, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for King of the Ring and that means we’re getting the first two quarterfinal matches tonight. Unfortunately it means we’re also getting more of the mess that Raw has become. However, with WWE having to hit a big reset button last week, it should be interesting to see where things go from here. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap looks at Shawn Michaels superkicking Booker T. out of the NWO, somehow managing to make them even less interesting.

Opening sequence.

Tonight: the REAL STORY on Steve Austin from Confidential (a news style show that aired in 2002). Oh that could be good.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: X-Pac vs. Rob Van Dam

Non-title. We get the loud X-PAC SUCKS chants as he rides Van Dam on the mat, likely trying to show the fans up a bit. That earns him some kicks to the face and it’s time for the RVD chants. The spinning kick to the back on the apron has both of them down on the floor but it’s X-Pac coming back with a good looking kick to the face. They’re already ahead of Ernest Miller vs. Jerry Flynn so that’s quite the good sign. The Bronco Buster doesn’t work and Van Dam mostly hits the step over kick to the…we’ll say face. X-Pac sends him to the floor but Booker runs in for the Bookend, setting up one heck of a Five Star for the pin.

Rating: C+. Litany of kicks aside, this was actually quite the entertaining match, which isn’t something you see enough around here. X-Pac is still a very talented in ring worker and can hang with a high flier like Van Dam, who was on his game here as well. Van Dam going forward is interesting but I’m not sure if it’s the best idea to push the Intercontinental Champion deep into a tournament as it means either giving him two accolades or having the champ lose a big match.

We get the first Confidential clip with JR saying Austin leaving was like John Wayne becoming a coward and walking away. This is going to get bad in a hurry.

X-Pac wants Booker but Kevin Nash has a plan.

Here’s Vince McMahon for the big Austin segment. Austin really is gone and odds are he’s not coming back. Last week, Austin was booked for Raw but didn’t show up, just like he didn’t after Wrestlemania. A few months ago, Austin said he was burned out and that’s understandable so the company forgave him. This time is too much though and Austin owes a lot of people an apology. True.

Last week, Austin was in town but he wouldn’t take any calls save for one from Jim Ross. However, Austin refused to come to the arena and air his grievances, which Vince calls uncharacteristic of Austin. The company will move on and develop new ideas and new concepts, including the King of the Ring winner receiving a title shot at Summerslam. Vince knows Austin wishes everyone well and says thank you on behalf of the fans and company. A beer toast wraps this up.

This could have been much, much worse and the company comes off as taking the high road for a change. Vince made sure to say that this isn’t like Austin and it would have been ridiculous for the company to turn its back on the man who saved them at their darkest hour for one such issue. If nothing else, consider all the people who have no showed over the years and been welcomed back later. It’s nice to see them acting professional and not turning this into a comedy routine for a change. Well done here, though the show isn’t over yet.

Jeff Hardy vs. Raven

This is fallout from a match on Heat where Jeff snapped and choked Raven with a cord. Undertaker comes out at the bell and it’s Jeff taking over with an armdrag to send Raven outside. The Undertaker distraction lets Raven send Jeff outside as well though, followed by a knee to the back of the head. A quick headscissors sends Raven into the buckle and Jeff breaks up a superplex attempt, setting up the Swanton for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just two guys having a match here as Jeff’s singles push actually begins. Granted it’s not likely to get very far with the feud being against Undertaker, who isn’t known as the greatest seller of all time. At least they’re pushing someone new though as it’s one of their biggest issues.

Goldust is now dressed like a noble because he likes the sound of King Booker. So Goldust came up with that fairly awesome character? Either way it seems to fire Booker up for his match with Brock. “Now can thou diggeth that sucka???”

Molly Holly is doing squats because someone in good enough shape to be a professional wrestler apparently needs to shed a ton of weight. Coach makes stupid puns and thankfully gets slapped.

Big Show finds that funny as X-Pac comes up and calls him G-Money. We get an NWO huddle until Paul Heyman and Lesnar come in. Heyman wants the NWO to stay out of Brock’s way tonight and avoid any potential complications. X-Pac doesn’t like the idea of a threat, which makes the NWO seem like the faces in this whole thing. Shawn and Heyman have a battle of the stupid looking hats and everyone stares at Lesnar.

Chris Nowinski vs. Spike Dudley

Nowinski has William Regal in his corner. Spike stomps him down in the corner as Chris is wrestling in khakis, which come off as Spike is sent outside. Back in and we hit the choking against the ropes as Chris’ rookie offense isn’t the most versatile yet. Spike comes back with a top rope double stomp (I still don’t understand how that doesn’t crack ribs) but Regal offers a distraction so Chris can get in some weird full nelson slam for the pin.

Rating: D-. Much like the Hardy match, points for trying to introduce some new characters. Chris wouldn’t seem to be the answer to a lot of the show’s problems but you have to try something somewhere. Unfortunately the match was rather horrible and it took help to beat Spike Dudley. You have to start somewhere though.

Regal and Nowinski put the boots to Spike until Bradshaw makes the save.

Here’s Ric Flair for a chat. Last week people thought he lost everything but he realized he had to get out or put out. Ric decided that he’s found himself again and is sorry for everything he’s done. He might have lost a step but he’s still the dirtiest player in the game, which he’ll prove to Brock Lesnar.

Cue the glass shatter but of course it’s a ruse so Eddie Guerrero can come out instead. Eddie goes on a rant about losing the chance to face Austin at King of the Ring, which he blames entirely on Flair. Now it’s Benoit coming out, with Lawler still saying Benoit is on Smackdown. I get the idea that they drafted him but since he’s clearly going to be on Raw, just say something about a trade or buying his contract or something like that.

Benoit asks Eddie if he knows who he’s talking to and holds up the Horsemen sign. Eddie still doesn’t buy it so Flair offers to replace Austin at King of the Ring. The challenge seems to be accepted as Eddie says something about Ric’s madre. Benoit jumps to Flair’s defense….and then blames him for taking Austin away before Benoit can get revenge for the lost year. The beatdown is on with Eddie putting on the Figure Four.

Chris Nowinski (he’s getting a lot of time tonight) introduces himself to Vince and doesn’t seem to think much of Vince going to East Carolina University. Tony Garea of all people calls and says someone is on his way. Vince doesn’t say who it is but thinks it’s Austin.

Vince tells security to give Austin some leeway.

Trish Stratus/D’Lo Brown vs. Crash/Molly Holly

Brown and Crash got into it on Heat last night. The guys don’t do much to start so it’s quickly off to the women as Lawler tries to get the fans to chant that Molly is fat. The Chick Kick gets two but Molly puts her down, only to miss the Molly Go Round. Everything breaks down as the guys come back in with a Sky High putting Crash away. Lawler was DISTURBING here and this is getting harder and harder to listen to every week.

Molly pulls Trish off the apron, sending her face first into the announcers’ table.

Lita, who can somehow look good even in a massive neck brace, thinks Matt is being too dangerous by fighting Undertaker tonight.

Vince has a separate camera crew ready to document everything Austin does. Jackie Gayda comes in and asks to be a Raw girl but has to compete in the Divas Undressed special next week.

Undertaker vs. Matt Hardy

Non-title. Matt goes right after him but has to punch his way out of the Last Ride. A running chokeslam gets two as Jeff pulls the referee out but here’s Raven to go after Jeff because that’s still a thing. The Last Ride finishes Matt quick.

Raven handcuffs Jeff to the ropes so Undertaker can beat on him while Raven holds Matt in place. Matt Hardy can’t handle Raven?

Post break, Undertaker says he doesn’t want people making a name for themselves off of him. HHH better have been watching.

Vince gets another call but can’t hear who is on the way.

Heyman tells Earl Hebner to do his job tonight and DQ Booker as soon as anyone comes to ringside. Hebner tells him to stay out of it. Booker comes in for the catchphrase.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Brock Lesnar vs. Booker T.

The NWO comes out for commentary as Heyman starts to panic as only he can. Booker chops away to start but is clotheslined out to the floor. JR tries to find out why Booker isn’t NWO material. Shawn: “He’s a showman, he’s a dancer. There’s no place for that in the NWO.” Now Goldust comes out so we can have six extra people at ringside. A powerslam puts Booker down and Goldust decks Heyman for general purposes. The ax kick sets up the Spinarooni but the NWO gets on the apron, allowing Brock to hit the F5 (finally referred to as such) to advance.

Rating: D. This was more smoke and mirrors to protect Brock but at least Booker didn’t lose clean. It was also smart to put Booker in there to guarantee the match went smoothly as someone like Brock still needs a guide to get him through a match. Lesnar is clearly getting the rocket push, despite how green he looks out there.

Goldust and Booker get the NWO beatdown.

Vince tells Slaughter to go greet Austin.

After a break, Vince is in the ring with a beer for Austin and you can feel the fans getting excited. Garea comes out to tell Vince that it was another he……and here’s the Rock. You know, the top Smackdown pick who was around for like two episodes. Rock immediately hits the catchphrases and gives Vince fifteen seconds to get out of this ring. Vince is out at ten and Rock throws the beer over Vince’s head (with Vince on the stage) as he goes.

Rock goes on a tirade against Austin (without mentioning his name), saying if anyone else doesn’t want to be with the company, they can get the F out. He’s scheduled to be back on Smackdown July 11 but we’ll make that this Sunday at King of the Ring. In fifty years he’ll be using the people’s walker to get down to the ring because this is in his blood. We hit one more catchphrase to wrap this up. Rock was really the only name that was going to replace Austin so this was as good as it was going to get.

Overall Rating: C-. Maybe Austin should have left a long time ago. This was a much easier show to sit through as they actually advanced some stories and started focusing on some new stars. Brock is looking like a huge deal, Booker is a charged up face with people to feud with and Jeff Hardy is in a quick feud with Undertaker. Those aren’t great developments but they’re steps in the right direction, which you haven’t seen on this show in way too long. Better, but still not good this week.

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Impact Wrestling – September 15, 2016: They’re Losing Me

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 15, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Things are starting to pick up with just three weeks to go before Bound For Glory. Last week saw more build towards Lashley vs. Ethan Carter III and the announcement of a tournament for the inaugural TNA Grand Championship. Of course none of that matters compared to Final Deletion II. Let’s get to it.

We open with Matt Hardy talking about everything that happened last week in Final Deletion II. Senor Benjamin has been kidnapped and Jeff is badly injured so Matt puts him into the Lake of Reincarnation. Jeff is thrown into the water and comes out as the Immortal Jeff, complete with belt, from 2010. Matt shouts NEVER and throws him back in to have him come back out as the Jeff he’s been in recent weeks. Next up: Matt has to go find Vanguard I. So the big answer to what happened to Jeff last week: eh forget it.

Here’s Lashley for an in ring chat with Jeremy Borash. Lashley says this is going to be the year that he dominates wrestling because no one else in any promotion is as dominant as he is. Since he beat up EC3 last week, he needs an opponent for Bound For Glory. It might as well be JB because it would be just as dominant either way. This brings out Grado, who says JB is a much bigger joke than he’ll ever be. Grado calls Lashley a coward and it’s a quick beatdown capped off by a spear. Another callout brings Moose to the ring and the champ is actually knocked out to the floor. Moose issues what sounds like a challenge.

Aron Rex says Drew Galloway has been handed all kinds of opportunities while he’s had to take everything he can get. Rex promises to see Drew soon.

Lashley says he’ll make Moose famous but not tonight.

Grand Championship Title Tournament First Round: Trevor Lee vs. Aron Rex

Three rounds of three minutes each. They trade headlocks to start until Rex is sent out to the floor. A big boot sets up a chinlock as I keep trying to figure out why they turn the lights down for these matches. Rex fights up with some clotheslines for some last second points to end the round because Heaven forbid Rex goes full speed ahead the full match. Rex somehow wins the first round so Lee forearms him for two to start the second round. That earns him a Russian legsweep and Wind-Up Elbow, followed by a running discus punch to pin Lee at 5:33.

Rating: D+. I still don’t like this concept and this didn’t do it any favors. Ignoring the MMA feel the matches have (why they think wrestling fans want to see MMA still isn’t clear), I don’t like the flurry of offense at the end of the rounds. If they can do that at the sound of the ten second warning (another non-wrestling thing), why can’t they fight up the rest of the time?

Maria is going to hold Gail Kim’s Hall of Fame ceremony tonight so it doesn’t overshadow the Knockouts Title match at Bound For Glory.

Matt finds the destroyed Vanguard I and cries at its death…..but it’s reincarnated as well so never mind.

Here are Allie and Maria to hold Gail’s Hall of Fame induction. Maria is tired of no one talking about her title win because everyone is talking about Gail Kim. We see a highlight video of Maria beating Gail up and Maria does Gail’s speech for her. The official gift is a picture of Maria with the title but Allie has her own present for the best female wrestler ever.

Maria freaks out again and stomps on whatever the present is but here’s Dixie Carter. Dixie says Maria has a conflict of interests and no longer has any authority. Gail never lost the title (yes she did) so she’s going to be in the Knockout gauntlet tonight to crown a new #1 contender.

Braxton Sutter vs. Rockstar Spud

This is an empty arena with all turnbuckles exposed “for the safety of the fans”. Apparently Sutter hit Spud in the face and the injury made him require braces. Spud jumps him on the ramp and the fight is on. Josh: “The arena is empty because there are no fans in it.” It’s not even a match as they just beat each other around the empty arena and throw each other into metal objects. Spud kicks him low and they finally get in the ring with Sutter kicking him low to retaliate. A few whips into the buckle sets up a ram into the buckle to give Sutter the pin at 5:13.

Rating: D. To recap: this show has had a UFC style fight, an empty arena match and Matt Hardy resurrecting a drone. Oh and Gail Kim, who is A WRESTLER. They’re really not making this easy to sit through and Matthews telling me that the arena is empty because there are no fans in it was the icing on all this. Would it kill them to let these two have a regular match and then set up the gimmick version? Ah right: TNA is EVOLVING THE BUSINESS, which means doing stuff that was done in Memphis over thirty years ago and hoping people don’t remember it.

And now, here’s more Matt Hardy, who sends Vanguard I to find Senor Benjamin in a barn. Matt tells Benjamin to stockpile more weapons than ever because a great war is coming at Bound For Glory. THEY’RE ALREADY DOING FINAL DELETION III??????

Recap of last week’s Final Deletion.

Here’s House Hardy (the new name for the group) to challenge Decay. The champs appear in the crowd and say that Maxill deserves a better home. The Hardys are offered their own decay so Jeff promises to delete them for good at Bound For Glory. Fans: “OBSOLETE! OBSOLETE!” Matt wants to fight them in the insanity of the Great War and Rosemary accepts so Maxill can join his real family. The fight is on and House Hardy stands tall.

Mike Bennett tries to get in Lashley’s head about Moose.

Knockouts Gauntlet

This is basically a Royal Rumble with over the top eliminations but it turns into a regular match with pins or submissions when they get down to two. Jade is in at #1 and Allie is in at #2 but Maria says not so fast because she’s found someone better. Instead, a newcomer named Laurel Van Ness (indy wrestler Chelsea Green) is in at #2. Jade kicks away to start until Sienna is in at #3.

We get a double teaming on Jade until Gail Kim is in at #4. The minute intervals continue with Marti Bell coming in at #5. The heels keep control until Raquel is in at #6. There’s almost nothing going on in between these entrances. Madison Rayne rounds out the field at #7 and we’re not even six minutes into the match. I’m sure just a regular battle royal was out of the question.

Back from a break with no eliminations but Madison is knocked out in a hurry. Jade is kicked out as well but stays around at ringside. Marti gets sent over the top and is caught by Jade, who rams her into the post and then drops her to the mat for the elimination. Allie screws up AGAIN and causes Van Ness to be eliminated as well. The referee comes in as we’re down to Sienna vs. Gail. A sunset flip gets two for Gail before Eat Defeat sends her to Bound For Glory at 14:13. The one on one part wasn’t even two minutes long.

Rating: D. Not only is the entire division save for the non-wrestler champion involved in one match but HEY LOOK IT’S GAIL KIM! I still don’t know why I’m supposed to be interested over Gail Kim getting all fired up to fight Maria in what is likely going to be a squash because Maria is barely a wrestler. The division is almost nothing anymore and so much of that is due to Gail being put so far ahead of anyone else. Why should I be interested in anyone when Gail is just going to take the title back a few months later? This isn’t Memphis and Gail isn’t Jerry Lawler but TNA thinks she should get the title as many times.

Grand Championship Title Tournament First Round: Eddie Edwards vs. Mahabali Shera

Neither gets an entrance. Feeling out process to start with Eddie firing off chops and sending Shera to the floor for a suicide dive. Back in and the Boston Knee Party gets two (that move might have set a record for fastest time being turned into nothing) and the first round ends.

Eddie wins the first round in a clean sweep so Shera stomps away in the corner to start round two. Some miscommunication gives us an awkward looking sequence in the corner with Shera just stopping in front of Eddie. An over the shoulder rib breaker gets two on Eddie and Shera throws him into the air for a big crash. They fight over a suplex to end round two, which goes to Shera in a split decision despite Eddie not hitting anything. Eddie is aggressive to start the third round and kicks Shera in the ribs, setting up a half crab for the submission at 8:45.

Rating: C. This actually had some time to set something up but the short time limit and the scoring system is still rubbing me the wrong way. Shera is pretty clearly just there to appeal to the India market but that doesn’t mean he’s a good idea for the American fans. The guy really isn’t interesting and it’s getting worse every week.

Lashley and Moose come to the ring for the closing segment with Lashley offering Moose the title shot at Bound For Glory. Moose seems to agree but doesn’t want to wait that long. Moose beats him up around the ring until Lashley gets in a few shoulders in the corner. Mike Bennett comes out for the double team on Moose but Ethan Carter III runs out for the show closing brawl. Matthews: “EC3 IS BACK!” HE WAS HERE LAST WEEK YOU STUPID STUPID MAN!

Overall Rating: D. This show got a little bit better after Slammiversary but it’s right back to doing the same things that drove me crazy before. Above all else though, it’s the Hardys. A few months ago they did Final Deletion and it was entertaining and different. Then last week they did Final Deletion II and it was a lot of the same stuff with more people involved. Now we’re getting the third one in two and a half weeks and I’m finding it really hard to care about, especially when that’s the top story. Matt and Jeff got more time than anything else tonight, save for maybe the Knockouts match which was all about Gail.

The first half of this show was awful in all kinds of new ways. We had another MMA knockoff match, an empty arena match for whatever stupid reason TNA can come up with this time and more Matt and Jeff zaniness with Matt basically erasing everything that happened last week. More than once tonight I looked at my TV and asked what I was watching. That happens every now and then with most wrestling shows but with TNA it’s every few segments.

I know Corgan is all about new ideas and thinking, but TNA needs to remember that it’s a wrestling company and stop trying all these wacky ideas to force people to care about them again. Yeah Matt being all insane and saying things that people quote online a lot is amusing but it’s rapidly running out of steam. Bound For Glory is coming up in a few weeks and I’m really not looking forward to it. Maybe TNA is passing me by or something but most of the time it’s not entertaining me. They have a talented roster and I like watching their regular matches but those are getting less and less frequent and that’s not good.

Results

Aron Rex b. Trevor Lee – Running discus punch

Braxton Sutter b. Rockstar Spud – Ram into the exposed turnbuckle

Gail Kim won a gauntlet match last eliminating Sienna – Eat Defeat

Eddie Edwards b. Mahabali Shera – Half crab

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – September 8, 2016: We Want Wrestling And Hat Eating Giraffes!

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 8, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We have arrived. Unfortunately it’s not at Bound For Glory or anything that’s going to matter in the long run, but we’ve reached Final Deletion II: This Time It’s REALLY Final. In other words, Decay is going to the Hardy Compound to fight Matt and Jeff in what’s going to be a big mess that you may or may not find highly entertaining. Let’s get to it.

Senor Benjamin and Vanguard I tell us that these segments will be performed by professionals and no animals were harmed in making this.

We see a clip from last week with Reby saying prepare the battlefield.

Senor Benjamin digs graves for Decay as we hear an operatic version of the Obsolete song.

Matt tells Senor Benjamin to prepare the personal zoo for visitation.

Here are Mike Bennett and Maria with something to say. Mike says don’t bite the hand that feeds you, which is what Moose has been doing lately. It was Bennett that brought Moose in and paid him but thanks to a strongly worded text message, Moose has been fired. With him out of the way, Mike can become World Champion like he deserves.

This brings out Dixie Carter of all people to say people are here to watch wrestling. Tell me Dixie: how much time is Final Deletion II getting tonight? Mike says no one appreciates either himself or Maria but he knows Dixie is about to put him in the main event. Dixie says not so fast because Mike will be in a match against, of course, Moose. Mike and Maria wisely run off.

Post break Mike and Maria yell at Dixie, who says Mike is in breach of contract if he doesn’t fight. As a bonus, Maria is no longer in charge of the Knockouts because she has to defend the Knockouts Title against an opponent to be determined next week.

Gail Kim/Jade vs. Allie/Sienna

Sienna and Gail start things off because it’s always Gail first. Allie gets tagged in and is promptly run over by a shoulder to send her outside. Sienna tells Allie to stay out of it because she’s not a wrestler. The fans want Allie but get Sienna’s running splash on Gail instead. The AK47 is broken up but Sienna still won’t tag Allie in. Jade comes in with her kicks and Allie accidentally tags herself in and hits Sienna by mistake. Sienna runs Allie over with the Silencer and Jade gets the pin at 4:38.

Rating: D. This was angle advancement though I’m really not sure where this is going. Allie is being turned face but how do you go from her not being able to do basic stuff properly to being able to fight someone like Sienna? I still don’t care about Gail, Jade or Sienna but that’s the product of forcing our way to Gail vs. Maria despite it being a squash on paper.

Billy Corgan has a major announcement but won’t say what it is.

Back to the Hardy Compound with Matt bringing the rest of the team to his personal zoo. That means a giraffe named George Washington eats a hat and the brothers Hardy fighting a kangaroo named Smoking Joe Frazier. Later, Matt, described as a spot monkey whisperer, talks to monkeys named after members of the X-Division. Then a tiger tells Matt that Decay arrives tonight. I really don’t know what I just saw but it’s giving me flashbacks to Mean Gene and George Steele in the Detroit Zoo so we’ll declare this awesome.

Corgan is in the ring and unveils the Grand Championship, which is replacing the now retired King of the Mountain Title. This brings out Drew Galloway to say he’s 6’5, thirty one years old and has sixteen years experience so how can anyone else be the choice? Corgan says this is the evolution of wrestling and we get a video giving us the rules

3 rounds

3 minutes per round

The match can end at any time but each round is scored on a 10 point system and if no one wins in the nine minute time limit (yes a nine minute time limit), three judges will declare a winner.

There will be an eight man tournament and the first champion will be crowned at Bound For Glory. Galloway says he is this business but here’s Aron Rex to say this started over a title and it’s ending with Drew going back to Scotland in a medical helicopter. Corgan says not so fast because we’ve got a tournament match right now.

Grand Championship Tournament First Round: Braxton Sutter vs. Drew Galloway

The judges are just unnamed people and the lights are down for some reason. Drew gets in a belly to belly and says that’s a ten. A boot to the face gets two for Galloway and he fires off chops in the corner as this is one sided so far. Some right hands have Sutter in more trouble and the first round ends at just over three minutes. The first round goes to Drew 10-9 all around, giving us a 30-27 score.

Sutter gets beaten up for the first minute of the second round before he snaps Drew’s throat across the top rope to take over. A superplex gets two on Galloway and a snap powerslam gets the same. Sutter pounds away as Josh says Drew has given up his back (because this is a UFC match) and the second round ends. The scores go 10-9, 10-9 and 9-10 in Sutter’s favor…..which means the match is even because they’ve won a round each. Sure why not. Drew gets in a piledriver and the Iron Maiden makes Sutter tap at 8:03 (including breaks between rounds).

Rating: D. So to recap, the number of points you get don’t count because it’s based on who wins two rounds? In other words, they’re trying to make this like UFC but want to switch it just enough that it’s not UFC? Ignoring the scoring system (never been a fan in wrestling), this was a bad match with the guys mainly chopping each other and then pounding away like a UFC fight to end the rounds. Oh and again: nine minute time limits. How can that be a good idea?

During the break, Rockstar Spud attacked Sutter.

A guy leaves a liquor store and runs into Rosemary. Sexual innuendo is exchanged and Decay attacks, leaving the guy in the road and stealing the truck. Abyss says he’s heard Cameron is beautiful this time of the year.

We go to a press conference for the main event of Bound For Glory. Corgan, Ethan Carter III and Lashley all come out to their entrance music with the fans/press waving their arms to Ethan’s song. Corgan talks about how this is the kind of match you’re going to remember in twenty years. Carter sees a monster in Lashley but he also sees a coward behind those sunglasses.

Lashley destroyed a division and that’s not cool. They started fighting back in England over Kurt Angle’s broken body (Lashley: “I did that.”) and it ends at Bound For Glory. Lashley talks about being the guy that can defend Impact from other organizations but Carter says he’s beaten everyone and Lashley will be no different. Lashley goes on a rant about everyone he’s hurt and how Carter will be no different (that sounds familiar). A brawl broke out and the “press” just awkwardly watched. This is by far the best thing on the show tonight but that’s just because it’s less insane than the other stuff.

The brawl continued after a break with Lashley throwing Carter out of a door and through some wood.

Video on Jesse Godderz and how excited he is for the Grand Championship tournament.

Grand Championship Tournament First Round: Eli Drake vs. Jesse Godderz

Apparently you get points for aggressiveness, controlling the action and physicality. They trade arm work to start with Godderz working on a chinlock. A dropkick and forearm get two for Jesse and it’s a few armdrags to wrap up the first round. Jesse wins the first round 29-28 with the announcers turning into analysts in between rounds.

Drake hammers away in the corner and gets two off a DDT. A powerslam gets the same but Jesse gets in a forearm, followed by the Adonis Lock. Drake rides out the clock to end the round and it goes to Godderz again. The final round begins with Drake hitting some kind of a powerbomb but getting caught in the Adonis Lock again. An Angle Slam gets two on Eli, only to have him hit Blunt Force Trauma for the quick pin at 9:24 total.

Rating: D+. This was another basic match with a gimmick attached that makes it feel more “real” because that’s what wrestling fans tune in to see on a show featuring a boxing kangaroo. I like Drake and Godderz has grown on me tremendously but there’s nothing you can do when you’re having three mini matches and have to play to some judges who aren’t likely to mean much in this whole tournament.

We recap Galloway and Rex’s issues over the last few weeks.

Rex is kicking stuff over and really doesn’t feel like talking. He’s talked and performed for years but he’s done thinking. So here’s the problem: there’s a good chance these two are going to wind up in the finals of the Grand Championship tournament at Bound For Glory. Ok, cool. Those two fighting for a title is fine. What’s not cool is having this big, violent feud’s first match be in this rigidly timed format with a nine minute time limit. Let them beat the heck out of each other instead of going to a judges’ decision or having to get the match done fast. Think this stuff through.

It’s time for Final Deletion II. Decay goes after Senor Benjamin but he turns a shovel around to show the word DELETE. We cut to Decay arriving at the house, which Rosemary calls home sweet home. They look through the window to see Reby holding Maxill but here’s Matt, who KNEW THEY WOULD COME.

Back from a break and it’s time for the showdown with the Hardys (the three adults) holding up their fireworks. Abyss: “THIS IS NOT BEAUTIFUL!” Hang on because there are going to be a lot of very quick cuts in this thing. The Hardys chase them off with the fireworks and a ladder is knocked over. It’s really hard to see what’s going on here but for some reason fireworks are being shot horizontally at Decay but a camera cut shows them exploding in the air.

Matt sends Reby back to the house as Decay hides behind ye olde dilapidated boat. Abyss tells someone to get to the house and Jeff dropkicks the boat into the water. Cue Senor Benjamin to say Matt needs the boat. Jeff disappears and Benjamin starts pulling the boat but Joseph Park walks out of the water. Park: “Brother Benjamin! I loved you in Final Deletion!” Benjamin tazes Park and puts him in a conveniently placed bulldozer.

It’s off to Steve, who tries to send Jeff face first into a fire inside a big tire. That earns Steve a sitout gorbuster into a pool and they fight underwater. Matt is walking through smoke and calling for Rosemary as Benjamin dumps Park (presumably) into a grave. Jeff chokes Steve out under the water and sits on the side of the pool, only to be pulled back in ala the end of Friday the 13th.

Back to Benjamin who laughs at the grave but Abyss pops out to choke him. Steve and Jeff fight over a pool toy but it’s back to Abyss going after Matt and pulling out Janice. Jeff takes the shot to the ribs for his brother but here’s Vanguard I to launch rockets at Decay. The Hardy symbol in the grass is lit on fire with Steve inside. We cut back to the house where Rosemary has Maxill.

Vanguard I tells her to put him down so she blows mist at the drone to knock it offline. Maxill escaped somewhere in there and here’s Matt to say Rosemary has crossed a line. She mists him but he sucks it into his mouth and spits it back at her. Maxill staggers over to Matt as Reby reappears. The family is reunited but we cut back to Jeff who is laying on the ground in agony. Steve laughs at the fallen Benjamin and a car, I guess containing Decay, leaves to end the show.

So yeah, the Final Deletion is basically Sharknado. It was a lot of fun the first time because it was just so stupid but the second version is really just a bigger budget version where you expect the same stuff over and over again. Other than the random Joseph Park cameo (really funny), this was a lot of the same bits that they did the first time but without the “what am I watching” reactions. I had fun with it and all but I really don’t need to see this again unless they come up with something fresh next time. It also doesn’t help that this set up (in theory) a regular tag match at Bound For Glory. Isn’t that kind of backwards?

Overall Rating: D. Let’s get this one out of the way right now: there was an idea here. This show was an attempt to try a lot of different stuff and not just do the same old ideas that we’ve covered for so many months if not years. I can give them a lot of credit for that attempt but that doesn’t mean it’s something that worked.

The wrestling here was bad and as is so often the case, that’s not on the wrestlers themselves. The tag match was built around Allie not knowing what to do and the other two matches were hamstrung by the time constraints and rules. Unfortunately that’s all the wrestling we had here as the Final Deletion is just an insane segment and not a match by any stretch. I really didn’t care much for this show but it’s an example where they tried to do something different, which you really don’t see often in wrestling. There’s certainly an audience that wants to see this but I don’t know how big it really is.

Results

Jade/Gail Kim b. Sienna/Jade – Silencer to Jade

Drew Galloway b. Braxton Sutter – Iron Maiden

Eli Drake b. Jesse Godderz – Blunt Force Trauma

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown – March 28, 2002: It’s Important!

Smackdown
Date: March 28, 2002
Location: First Union Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 13,600
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

With the Draft out of the way, this is the final regular episode of Smackdown with the full roster before things split up next week. That means it’s also the last chance for the wrestlers to make one last good impression against their interpromotional rivals. In other words it’s a lame duck show that they’re trying to pass off as something important. Let’s get to it.

Booker T. vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Of course this show starts with two guys from WCW. Fallout from Monday’s tag match. Booker stomps him into the corner to start so Page chops away. The Draft picks start running along the bottom as Page hits a helicopter bomb for two. Not that it matters as Brock Lesnar comes in to take out Page for the DQ.

Here’s Kurt Angle with something to say but we have to wait on the YOU SUCK WHAT chants because that’s how wrestling fans like their comedy. Angle thinks the people are pathetic, but not as pathetic as what happened to Stephanie on Raw. Kurt would like a special moment of silence and you can imagine his reaction when he’s booed out of the building. This brings out Vince to insult the fans and talk about HHH being the kind of model citizen that seduced and then humiliated his daughter. Then on Monday he beat her up!

Vince promises to take care of HHH and here’s the champ so Vince can make threats to his face. HHH promises to make Vince’s life miserable if Vince screws with him but decides Kurt is right: we should honor Stephanie, perhaps by looking at the end of Raw. That’s enough to make Kurt want a match against HHH tonight but Vince has a better idea: the two of them against HHH. This brings out Ric Flair to make it a tag match.

D-Von gives Bubba some exposition about the team splitting up if they don’t win the titles tonight.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Billy and Chuck

Billy and Chuck are defending and if the Dudleys lose they’re split up. On the other hand, if Billy and Chuck lose then they stay together, in theory at least. The questions I’ll never have answered. Bubba and Chuck start things off with Chuck being sent into the corner for some loud chops to the chest. D-Von comes in for some shoulders to Billy and it’s back to Bubba for some house cleaning. The Bubba Bomb gets two on Chuck and Rico offers a quick distraction, only to have the Doomsday Device plant Chuck. Rico’s second distraction works though and leaves Bubba to hit a Fameasser to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. So that’s it for the Dudleys in one of the most questionable moves I’ve seen in a long time. I get the idea of splitting up Edge and Christian and maybe the Hardys but who thought Bubba and D-Von could survive on their own? For the life of me I still don’t get the thinking behind that one and it’s yet another casualty of the Draft.

Bubba and D-Von destroy the champs with all the usual stuff one more time. There has to be a joke about Billy taking What’s Up. I don’t know if he had it coming in but Bubba’s eye (as in the eyeball itself) is full of blood. That’s quite the scary look.

The APA is splitting up and aren’t happy about it. Since it’s their last night together, they’re going to have a farewell bash. Tajiri is in charge of telling everyone and Torrie Wilson is in charge of playing strip poker.

Matt and Lita (interviewed by Lillian Garcia, who actually looked much better in her 40s) are so happy that they’re on the same show. Chris Jericho comes up and says no one should be happy since he can’t be champion again. Matt calls him a has been and gets jumped, likely setting up something for later tonight.

The Rock and Hogan call each other brother before talking about whether or not they can trust Kane in their six man tag tonight. Rock imitates King Kong Bundy and Kamala in a way to say yes. Dang it I was hoping for some more of those as there are multiple other Hogan monsters he could have done.

Anyway, Kane comes in and says it doesn’t matter if Rock is ready. In the most bizarre thing I’ve ever seen from Kane (and that’s covering A LOT), he does an amazing Hogan-style promo, saying it doesn’t matter if it’s 20,000 Hulkamaniacs, 20,000 of the millions or 20,000 screaming Kaneannites (Rock: “Kaneannites?”) because the three of them are going to run wild on the NWO. He even does the posing and the hand to his ear with the fans absolutely losing their minds over this. This was HILARIOUS with Rock looking somewhere between amazed, terrified and stunned.

Hulk Hogan/The Rock/Kane vs. NWO

Apparently Flair drafted the NWO so he could “keep an eye on the poison.” Wouldn’t it be smarter to get rid of the poison? Rock and X-Pac get things going with X-Pac in early trouble before it’s off to Hall. The bad guys (as in the team with the Bad Guy) take over with Nash hitting the knees in the corner but Rock shrugs them off and tags in Hogan. I know he’s considered lazy but he can do a hot tag like almost no one ever.

Nash gets in a side slam (no hair flip yet) and Hogan gets beaten down. Wait so Kane is getting the house cleaning spot? That’s an odd choice but I’m willing to go with it due to that pre-match promo alone. A belly to back suplex breaks up Hall’s sleeper and the real hot tag brings in Kane. The Fake Diesel hits the real Diesel as everything breaks down. Well most of it does at least as Hogan is just standing on the apron while his partners fight 3-2. It turns out fine though as Kane chokeslams X-Pac for the pin.

Rating: C+. This would have been a good house show main event and there’s nothing wrong with that. Hogan was looking energetic here (believe that one if you want to) and X-Pac was the only one with any kind of fire on his team. I know he gets a lot of flack for good reason but when X-Pac had his head on straight, he was one of the better workers on the roster. Did the NWO ever actually win a major match? They debuted at No Way Out, won a few TV matches and then lost both Wrestlemania matches. What a great stable.

Matt Hardy vs. Chris Jericho

They start fast, likely due to a lack of time. Matt sends him into the corner to start but gets crotched on top to slow him down again. Cue Lita for a top rope hurricanrana, setting up the Twist of Fate for two. Lita gets knocked off the apron and a low blow sets up the Walls to make Matt tap. Nothing match.

Jericho puts Lita in the Walls on the floor.

The APA party is going on and Torrie takes off a belly chain for her stripping. Christian freaks out over losing and destroys stuff.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Test

Van Dam is defending and gets dropped throat first across the top rope to start. A full nelson slam gets two on Van Dam as Lawler tries to figure out which brand has better looking women. Test grabs the ropes to avoid a sunset flip but we get the referee kicking his arms spot to give Rob a near fall. That earns Earl Hebner a good talking to so he does a fast count on Van Dam’s sunset flip to retain the title. Ok then.

Raven doesn’t care who he’s wrestling for because he’s destroying the things he loves.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Maven

Maven is defending and I forgot how much I liked his theme. Raven starts fast with the alternating trashcan lid shots to the head. Maven loses his balance on the ropes but gets two off a missile dropkick anyway. Here’s Tommy Dreamer to try to win the title but the distraction lets Raven grab the Raven Effect for the pin and the title, which now moves to Raw.

Angle tells Vince that he’ll help get Austin to Smackdown.

We look over the Draft lottery results, almost none of which are worth mentioning.

William Regal crashes the party to say the APA is out of business. A fight breaks out because it wouldn’t be right otherwise. Bradshaw puts up the “sorry, we’re closed” sign and they go their separate ways to what sounds like a standing ovation.

HHH/Ric Flair vs. Kurt Angle/Vince McMahon

Flair is in business pants. Vince and HHH start things off and I won’t even bother explaining why Angle and Flair come in a few seconds later. Kurt takes him into the corner to start and gets a thumb in the eye before it’s off to HHH. A quick belly to belly sends the champ flying but Flair comes back in with a sleeper. Kurt starts working on the knee and of course Vince is willing to get involved. Cole tries to explain the reason behind the Brand Split and it’s really getting worse with every word he says.

A few wraps around the post have the leg in trouble but there’s no way he’s going to get Flair in a Figure Four. I mean, he’s not Shawn or anything. Flair kicks Kurt low but the Figure Four is reversed into an ankle lock. Now Vince can get in the Figure Four, only to have Ric turn it over in a hurry. Angle is smart enough to make a very fast save before it’s off to the guys under 50. A spinebuster gets two on Kurt, only to have Vince hit HHH in the face with a belt for two. Flair actually hits the top rope shot to Vince’s head and goes for the real Figure Four but here’s Undertaker to lay Ric out and give Vince the pin.

Rating: D. Much like almost anything else HHH did around this time, this was slow, not very good, and could have been done better in less time. Vince pinning Flair doesn’t mean much and it’s not like Undertaker is going after anyone other than Ric, so this was pretty much the definition of “well, here’s a main event”.

Overall Rating: D. Hulk Hogan just had the runaway match of the night in 2002. This was a big commercial for the Brand Split as none of this matters (including a new Hardcore Champion) heading into the new WWF. Since there are almost no storylines here, everything other than Kane vs. the NWO and everything in the main event was filler. That’s not the way to make an interesting show but at least a lot of the matches were short.

 

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Impact Wrestling – August 25, 2016: Bound For Bad Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 25, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re down to six weeks before Bound For Glory and you can start to see some of the card taking shape. Tonight’s main event has World Title implications as we have Ethan Carter III vs. Drew Galloway for the #1 contendership with Aron Rex as the guest referee. It should also be interesting to see where they go with the midcard titles. Let’s get to it.

Ethan Carter III and Drew Galloway meet on the roof of a very tall building with a pool nearby. They sit down for some whiskey and a chat which we’ll probably see later.

We recap Ethan maybe or maybe not causing Drew several World Title matches.

Battle Royal

Robbie E., Jesse Godderz, Eli Drake, Basille Baraka, Baron Dax, Grado, Mahabali Shera, Mike Bennett, Moose, Eddie Edwards

Winner gets a World Title shot and Lashley is on commentary. There are only ten people in an open invitation battle royal for a World Title shot? Josh says this show is being called a turning point. Wait is this Turning Point 2016? Or is that just Josh running his mouth like the goon that he is?

Baraka eliminates Dax to get us down to nine and to make me happy that I don’t have to remember which of those two is which. Moose dumps Shera and we take a break. Back with all eight still in before Baraka gets rid of Robbie. Moose tosses Baraka a few seconds later, followed by Eli getting rid of Grado. Lashley keeps talking about how everyone can just leave now because they’re not winning the title shot. At least he’s sounding cocky like a monster heel should.

Eddie throws Drake out and we’re down to four. Jesse springboards back in to clothesline both heels but Moose tosses him out with ease. So it’s Eddie, Moose and Bennett to go and the double teaming begins, only to have Eddie grab Moose in a hurricanrana but Mike dumps them both out for the win at 17:10.

Rating: D. Well that happened. Bennett was one of the only options to win here and that’s the problem with having ten people in a battle royal. Shouldn’t most of the roster be in this if it’s for a shot at the World Title? Where are all the X-Division guys who were talking about how they wanted to fight Lashley? Matt and Jeff aren’t interested in being World Champion? That’s not the best thinking and it made for a bad battle royal with everyone waiting to get down to the three or so potential winners.

Ethan and Drew down their first whiskey and Ethan asks what they’re talking about. Isn’t that clear based on all of Drew’s talking of late?

After a break, Moose yells at Bennett as Maria tells the camera to get out of here.

Here’s Matt Hardy with the contract for the Tag Team Title shot. The titles are decaying and must be saved by his brilliance. This brings out Jeff who sings/speaks the lyrics to his obsolete theme. Matt isn’t sure why Jeff is here so Jeff mentions wrestling for the creatures. Now it’s Rosemary coming out to say they have the titles and won’t be giving them up. Abyss says the destruction of the Hardys will be beautiful and Crazzy Steve shows up to say about the same. Matt promises revenge for Decay stealing Maxill in his vision and vows to eat all of them. Jeff can fight any of them right now and Abyss volunteers.

Jeff Hardy vs. Abyss

After the break six seconds into the match, we come back to see Abyss in control and Matt telling Jeff to delete him. Instead of taking Abyss to field and something about a Spanish speaking gardener, Jeff forearms him in the head and drops the leg between the legs for two. A Twist of Fate looks to set up the Swanton but Matt says he has to stop being a spot monkey.

Jeff flips Matt off and dives onto Steve, who doesn’t really catch him. Steve comes in and gets clotheslined right back to the floor, allowing Jeff to kick Abyss low and hit him with a chain for two. Abyss better win after that near fall. There’s the chokeslam but Steve mists Abyss by mistake, setting up another Twist of Fate for another two. Matt bites Steve for being in his premonition as the Black Hole Slam puts Jeff away at 11:09.

Rating: D+. Totally overbooked here and the two false finishes were at least one too many. In addition to that (And the stupid break six seconds in. Just come back for the opening bell.), this Matt stuff is annoying. I get that he’s supposed to be all crazy and broken or whatever, but it’s gone so far away from the original idea that it’s just Matt being annoying now instead of being funny or interesting.

Post match Matt says the Decay’s deletion is soon. Jeff, a grasshopper, has many things to learn.

Maria yells at Allie for not knowing that Sienna has a title match as ordered by Billy Corgan. Billy comes in and implies there’s more than one opponent.

Lashley comes up to Mike Bennett, who says he won’t be intimidated. Bennett says Lashley is looking forward to Bound For Glory but needs to be worried about next week.

Knockouts Title: Sienna vs. Marti Bell vs. Madison Rayne vs. Allie vs. Jade

Sienna is defending and Allie tries to help her friend out early on, much to Sienna’s annoyance. Jade and Marti are sent outside as Maria comes out. Marti gets back in and gets stomped down with a stunned look whenever Allie tries something. Maria keeps Madison from getting back in as Sienna yells at Allie for trying to help. Allie actually gets in some offense on Marti before we hit a quick finisher parade. A package piledriver knocks Madison out but Allie accidentally hits Sienna with Marti’s baton. Marti hits Allie with it as well, knocking her right onto Sienna for the pin and the title at 4:28.

Rating: D. Why do I have a feeling that this is a way to get the title on Maria so Gail can take it away from her at Bound For Glory? I only ask because that would be one of the least interesting things they can do and would manage to make four straight Knockouts Champions that mean nothing other than a way to get the title back on Gail. Jade was ignored for Gail, Sienna barely defended the thing and Allie isn’t a wrestler. But you know who is? Gail Kim!

The fans chant for Allie.

Aron Rex guarantees that someone will be bound for glory tonight.

Tyrus is a fixer.

Back on the rooftop, Ethan asks Drew why he’s angry. Drew says it’s because Ethan interfered when Drew specifically asked him not to. Ethan thinks that’s on Drew for just not winning so Drew says he’ll hit extra hard next time. They drink a final toast and shake hands but Drew shoves him into the pool.

Moose is leaving when he runs into Lashley driving away. Lashley suggests that Bennett is pulling his strings and tells him where he’ll be having dinner tonight. Moose nods as Lashley drives away.

It’s time for Fact of Life with the X-Division guys as guests. Drake says whoever thought of that battle royal was a dummy but gets to the question of who has no chance to become the next X-Division Champion. Spud says Sutter won’t be it because he’s just a good story. Sutter points out Spud’s braces so Spud goes on a rant against Mandrews for being short, British and having bad hair. DJZ says he’s going to beat Lashley at some point but Drake cuts him off to hit the dummy button a lot. A brawl breaks out and a string of dives leaves DJZ as the only one standing.

So to recap: Lashley destroyed the X-Division Champion then beat DJZ in the match DJZ wanted. Now there’s going to be a big mess of a match (Ultimate X I’d assume) for the title where one of these goons will come out as champion. Lashley doesn’t lose the title, the new champion will be the best of a bunch of losers with no character, and they probably won’t even have to get a pin to become champion. And people wonder why the X-Division is worthless.

The X-Division Title will be decided in an Ultimate X gauntlet match. So just Ultimate X match after Ultimate X match? Or people being added one at a time and the first person to pull down the title wins? Either way, no pinning involved because that might imply someone gets over the others.

Drew Galloway vs. Ethan Carter III

The winner gets the title shot at Lashley and Aron Rex is guest referee. Feeling out process to start with both guys shoving the other away. A double collision puts them both down and we take a break. Back with Drew being knocked to the floor but stopping a dive with a forearm. A Celtic Cross onto the steps makes things worse for Carter and it’s off to a cravate.

Rex hasn’t been a factor so far, making me think that either he turns on someone or one of the guys (probably Drew) turns on him after counting a clean fall. Ethan gets in a Russian legsweep to send Galloway into the buckle and gets two off a powerbomb out of the corner. Drew gets in a Claymore and a powerbomb of his own for two before they chop it out.

The 1%er is broken up and another Claymore gets two more near falls for Drew. Still nothing from Rex. Carter ramps it up with a super 1%er for two but Galloway muscles him up for a Tombstone. Back up and the Futureshock is countered into a jackknife cover to give Carter the pin at 17:26.

Rating: B-. Nothing spectacular here but the ending was clean, as it should be to send someone to the pay per view main event. Galloway’s fall is an interesting story and sets him up as a potentially big time heel down the line. Carter going to the World Title match makes sense and should make for a good main event but it’s nothing we haven’t seen before.

Post match Drew beats Rex down and sends him into the steps for a heel turn.

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling mostly sucked tonight and while this certainly didn’t need to be a “special” (which they only referred to it as once or twice with no special graphics etc.), it did feel like they were starting the build towards Bound For Glory. Unfortunately that means it’s a very hit and miss card as TNA’s creative isn’t the strongest at the moment. It’s a watchable show but this was much more about the future than anything on the card tonight.

Results

Mike Bennett won a battle royal last eliminating Moose and Eddie Edwards

Abyss b. Jeff Hardy – Black Hole Slam

Allie b. Sienna, Marti Bell, Madison Rayne and Jade – Allie fell on Rayne

Ethan Carter III b. Drew Galloway – Jackknife cover

 

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Impact Wrestling – August 18, 2016: Rock N Wrestling II

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 18, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

This should be an interesting show as we have the first tapings under Billy Corgan’s watch. For perhaps the first time in at least ten years, we’re looking at an Impact without Dixie Carter running things so it should be interesting to see how things look for a change. We’re also about a month and a half away from Bound For Glory so it’s time to start building towards the show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look at Lashley collecting all three singles titles.

Lashley walks up to Corgan and Dixie Carter as they talk to Aron Rex. A quick staredown ensues and Lashley keeps walking.

Here’s James Storm to open things up. Storm wants referee Brian Hebner to come out here right now. As luck would have it he’s already at ringside so they get straight to the point. James wants an explanation for why the three count at the bell last week didn’t count. We see a clip of last week’s match and Hebner is trying to get JB out of the ring instead of paying attention.

Storm has a point so he wants a rematch but here’s Corgan to interrupt. Corgan says something about winning a game in the end but Storm correctly says this isn’t football. All that matters is that Storm lost which Corgan says is because he can’t win the big one. That’s not cool with James as he pulls out a tool box and grabs a hammer. He helped build this company and he’ll take it apart limb by limb, which means ripping off the turnbuckle pad to start.

Security comes in but Storm says a wrestler doesn’t need security. He’s the only legend that hasn’t left because he cares about this company. A guard gets a Last Call and Storm gets in Corgan’s face. James will leave now but says it won’t go so well if their paths cross again. Storm leaves so Corgan suspends him indefinitely. I really, really hope this isn’t a sign that Corgan is going to be around all the time.

Moose says Eddie Edwards isn’t going to be a challenge.

Storm leaves in his truck.

Eddie Edwards vs. Moose

Moose throws him into the corner to start so Eddie changes tactics and starts speeding the match up. A dropkick puts Moose on the floor so Eddie can score with a running knee off the apron. It only works for a bit though as Mike Bennett offers a distraction so Moose can powerbomb Eddie onto the apron. Back in and we hit the chinlock before Eddie dropkicks him out of the air (close enough at least). Moose cuts him off with a hard clothesline, only to have Eddie snap off a middle rope hurricanrana. He makes the mistake of hitting a suicide dive on Mike though, allowing Moose to hit a chokebomb for the pin at 6:18.

Rating: C. This was a good way to have Moose look good in his first big singles match and that’s important going forward. Eddie is still in a weird place as he doesn’t have a partner so he’s stuck waiting to bring the Wolves back, but he’s kind of turned himself into a cool singles wrestler who doesn’t have anything to do.

Maria tells Jade that she has to beat Gail Kim or no more title shots.

Gail Kim vs. Jade

Jade spins out of a wristlock to start and gets two off a clothesline. Gail sends it outside but gets caught in a fireman’s carry gutbuster. Back in and Jade avoids a cross body, only to miss a moonsault. A fight over a small package lands on Earl Hebner but Gail grabs Eat Defeat. There’s no cover though as Sienna comes out to go after Gail for the DQ at 5:22.

Rating: D+. Egads I just do not care. I get the story here and it’s fine with what they’re doing, but it works on the assumption that the fans want to see Gail Kim rise up the roster again and win the title for a sixth time. I’d like to see these newer women go somewhere instead of just being fresh victories for Gail as right now it’s not so much of a division as much as it is “who does Gail beat this week”?

Lashley laughs at the X-Division guys (all three of them) and says he has an announcement that’s going to affect the entire division. DJZ decides that the winner of a three way match gets to challenge Lashley for the title.

Rockstar Spud vs. DJZ vs. Braxton Sutter vs. Mandrews

Everyone goes after Spud to start, leaving the other three to all try covers for two each. DJZ dives onto Sutter and Mandrews, followed by Spud teasing a dive but stopping to do something….which we don’t see as the camera cuts to the crowd instead. Back in and Spud goes after Sutter, only to have DJZ take him down with a suplex. A roll into a double DDT on Mandrews and Sutter is enough for DJZ to pin Mandrews at 4:40.

Rating: C. There were four guys in the match, they all did spots, one of them got a pin. There’s no story, there are barely any characters (Remember when Sutter came in and looked like a big deal?) and this is all for a chance to (most likely) be slaughtered by Lashley again. Why do people care about this division again?

Ethan Carter III is going to answer Drew Galloway’s challenge from last week.

Dixie yells at Corgan for suspending Storm. I’m so glad it took her forty five minutes to do this. She thinks everyone is on edge because of Lashley holding all three titles (huh?) so they’re going to deal with it right now.

Ethan Carter III is in the ring and calls out Galloway to give him an answer. Drew doesn’t think he’s going to get what he wants, which is a chance to set things right. Carter surprises him by accepting but here’s Aron Rex to interrupt. Rex says the entire universe has been watching Impact in the last few months. I could have sworn there were more than 350,000 people in the universe, or at least in the USA. Rex thinks both of them should have a fair shot so he’s going to be the guest referee in their match.

Eli Drake says he made the King of the Mountain Title but Lashley cuts him off. Lashley doesn’t need a catchphrase but Drake says he’ll be taking any of those titles he wants. The champ really isn’t interested and leaves, only to run into Sienna, who tells him to not be cute.

Jeff Hardy is looking at ladders but Matt says he’s had a deletion telling him that there will be no jumping off a ladder tonight. These ladders are obsolete and Jeff agrees, shoving all of them over.

Here’s Eli Drake for a match but first he has something to say. Drake isn’t happy with having to see a bunch of James Storm vignettes before he just lost his match. He wants to hear Lashley’s announcement right now but gets interrupted instead.

Mahabali Shera vs. Eli Drake

Shera slams him down to start and drops an elbow for two. Drake easily shrugs off everything Shera throws at him but misses an elbow drop of his own. The Sky High is broken up though and Blunt Force Trauma ends Shera at 2:38.

Lashley won’t tell the bosses about his announcement.

Here’s Lashley for his promised announcement, accompanied by people carrying the King of the Mountain and X-Division Titles. Lashley has accomplished his goal and wants Dixie and Corgan out here right now. He says he has all the power because he’s a businessman in addition to being a great wrestler. The bosses suck up to him but Lashley says he’s going to unify the belts together and name himself the undisputed champion of wrestling. Dixie freaks out and says he can’t do that and Corgan drops the President card.

Lashley calls the King of the Mountain Title garbage and throws it down. As for the X-Division, Lashley ripped its heart out and there’s no reason for him to defend the title against any of them. That title is dropped as well, sending Dixie into her best Stephanie McMahon impression as she talks about respecting the company. Lashley doesn’t care and walks out, saying he’ll see them at Bound For Glory. Corgan says not so fast because next week there’s a #1 contenders battle royal for a World Title shot. I really wouldn’t mind if those titles went away. It’s not like they’ve meant anything in years anyway.

Corgan says there will be a new X-Division Champion. And that champion will be treated like a big deal for all of a month before the title falls through the cracks again.

Tribunal vs. Hardys vs. BroMans vs. Helms Dynasty

Ladder match with the winners getting a Tag Team Title shot against Decay at Bound For Glory. Jeff throws in a ladder and we’re at a break 12 seconds after the bell. Back with everyone not named Matt brawling all over the place and Matt yelling at Jeff on the outside. Matt pulls the ladder from the ring so the Tribunal finally starts beating him up. A double baseball slide sends the ladder into the Dynasty as things start to slow down.

Jeff dives at the Tribunal but leaves it a bit short, sending him mostly crashing onto the floor. Matt and Everett fight over a ladder but Matt has to stop and bite Trevor’s hand. A lot of biting ensues before Matt goes after Raquel, only to have the BroMans beat him down. Baraka goes up but seems to be scared of heights, allowing the BroMans to make another save.

The BroDown off the ladder drops Dax but Matt freaks out again and screams at the announcers. That goes nowhere as the Dynasty beats up the BroMans. Jeff comes off a ladder in the corner to knock Everett off the ladder in the ring, resulting in another big crash. Matt climbs up and gets the contract at 14:08.

Rating: C+. This really wasn’t that surprising as they’re the only team doing anything at the moment. I’m fine with Matt and Jeff doing their weird thing in the midcard instead of being the focal point of the show as it means they’ll be kept to one place and not all over the place. This was pretty much your standard multi-team ladder match and that’s about all you could expect.

Overall Rating: C-. There’s enough watchable stuff on here but I was mostly just bored. Very little here felt like must see TV and the low levels of Ethan Carter III and Mike Bennett really showed. Instead we had Lashley talking a lot (not a good idea) and various other uninteresting acts. It’s not a bad show (they’ve done way worse in recent weeks and months) but the energy was really lacking tonight.

Results

Moose b. Eddie Edwards – Chokebomb

Gail Kim b. Jade via DQ when Sienna interfered

DJZ b. Rockstar Spud, Mandrews and Braxton Sutter – DDT to Mandrews

Eli Drake b. Mahabali Shera – Blunt Force Trauma

Hardys b. BroMans, Tribunal and Helms Dynasty – Matt pulled down the contract

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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