Superstars
Date: April 16, 2009
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia, Thompson-Boling Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 16,431
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Jim Ross, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

This is the debut episode of what used to be the flagship show. Of course it wound up being just another show that didn’t even last two years on TV before switching over to the internet but that’s what you get when you’re not Raw or Smackdown. Superstars’ hook was that it had all three rosters competing at the same time, which really isn’t all that thrilling of a concept. The first episode is stacked though with Undertaker making a rare in-ring appearance. Let’s get to it.

Undertaker vs. Matt Hardy

This is when Matt was evil and tried to kill his brother and then got hurt to end his push again. I’m still waiting on Mattitude 2.0. For some reason I believe this was originally announced as Undertaker vs. Shelton Benjamin but they changed it for reasons I don’t remember. Matt gets his head taken off by a right hand to the jaw and the fight heads outside. Undertaker whips him hard into the barricade as this is one sided so far. Back in and Old School connects, sending us to a break.

Back with Undertaker still dominating and getting two after snapping Matt’s neck across the top rope. Hardy escapes the chokeslam and hits a neckbreaker before hammering away. This is right after Wrestlemania XXV so Undertaker’s neck is still messed up after botching the Taker Dive. Undertaker shrugs it off and nails even more right hands to put Matt in the ropes. A chokeslam off the apron is countered with a jawbreaker to give Hardy two.

Off to a front facelock on Undertaker but the big man casually gets to his feet. That’s fine with Matt as he jumps onto Undertaker to crank on the facelock even more. Undertaker shoves him off and scores with a big boot for two. Another big boot and legdrop get two on Matt but Hardy wisely heads outside to avoid another chokeslam attempt. He grabs a chair but just stays on the floor to take the countout. Pretty lame ending.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match but man alive, Matt won’t job to THE UNDERTAKER? I know Matt is a rising star at this point but I don’t think losing to one of the biggest legends on the roster is going to kill his push all that badly. The match was nothing too bad but the ending brings it down a good bit.

Post match Jeff Hardy runs out and throws Matt back inside for a chokeslam.

Clips from Wrestlemania.

Christian vs. Finlay

The winner gets an ECW Title shot at Backlash and this is the final of some competition called the Elimination Chase. Finlay has Horny with him. Christian gets taken down but fights out of the armbar and gets two off his sunset flip out of the corner. Finlay takes him down with a chinlock which goes about as well as the armbar. Back up and Christian hits a top rope cross body, only to have Finlay roll through for two more. A tornado DDT gets two on the Irishman and the Killswitch connects for the pin out of NOWHERE.

Rating: D+. This felt like it went home five minutes earlier than they expected. The ending came out of nowhere and it really felt awkward. Christian winning makes sense but this really did need another few minutes to flesh things out. Also Hornswoggle was shouting from ringside but he couldn’t talk in the future. Makes WWE sense.

They shake hands post match.

Shane McMahon (interviewed by Eve Torres) is ready to get revenge on Legacy for what Randy Orton has done to his family.

Cody Rhodes vs. Shane McMahon

Feeling out process to start until Shane takes over with some quick left hands. Cody fights out of an armbar and bails to the floor as Shane looks like he’s gone fifteen minutes already. Back in and Cody gets his arm cranked on even more, sending him back outside again. This time though Shane goes out the other way and gets a running start off the steps to take Rhodes down with a clothesline.

Shane whips him ribs first into the barricade before we head back inside where Rhodes is just fine. A big right hand knocks Shane back to the floor and we take a break. Back with Cody holding a very weak looking chinlock followed by some knees and elbows to the rubs. We hit the reverse chinlock but Shane stands up and drives Cody into the buckle. A middle rope bulldog gets two on Shane but he fights out of a superplex. Cody dropkicks him out of the air for two as this is going WAY longer than it should. Shane gets sent to the floor but he comes back up with a chair to the ribs for the DQ.

Rating: D-. This was LONG. The match got fourteen minutes and Shane wasn’t exactly the kind of a guy that you want trying to do something like this. It’s not much better when you have Cody Rhodes in there before he’s capable of carrying a match. This McMahons vs. Ortons story just kept going and people stopped caring way before this show. Much like the feud, the match was just more long and uninteresting than bad, which is worse a lot of the time.

Shane hits Coast to Coast to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Well what the heck was this supposed to be? I mean we have Undertaker (UNDERTAKER!) winning via countout, Christian vs. Finlay, as in the one match that could have gone on for awhile, getting less than five minutes, and Shane McMahon getting fifteen? This was a huge mess and a good microcosm of the disaster that WWE was at this point.

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Is this on? Check one two. It’s Jack Swagger.

Swagger started under his real name of Jake Hager, a character based on his own real life experiences as a collegiate wrestler at Oklahoma. He won the FCW Title and defended it on their first television show, airing on October 5, 2008.

Florida Heavyweight Championship: Heath Miller vs. Jake Hager

Miller thinks he’s handsome and gives off a kind of Rick Rude/Johnny Nitro feel. He’s more famous as Heath Slater though. Hager is Jack Swagger and is a cross between Angle and Goldberg. He’s undefeated here and the streak is part of his character. Mixed reaction for Hager who is in regular trunks here. Miller is a rock star without the instruments. I’m not sure if that’s better than one man rock band or not.

Miller also has shoulder length hair which is a weird look for him. Big high knee sends Miller to the floor. Hager is a tweener I think but it’s not really clear. Miller with a nice springboard clothesline to take over as we’re running very low on time. Hager avoids a Zig Zag and hooks the gutwrench for the pin and the end of the show.

Rating: C+. Nothing great here but the idea was to have Hager look like a champion as an introduction to the audience which he certainly did. This was a decent little TV match that gave us something to look forward to on the show. I’m not sure why Hager was fighting him but I guess I can let that slide on a debut for a local TV show. Not bad.

Hager would be brought up to WWE on the ECW roster as Jack Swagger, a much more obnoxious version of his FCW character. He would quickly rise up the ranks and challenge Matt Hardy for the ECW Title on January 13, 2009.

ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger easily takes him down to the mat to start before cranking on Matt’s arm. We take an early break and come back with Hardy fighting out of a headlock. A bulldog out of the corner gets two for the champion and it’s Swagger in a headlock this time. Swagger forearms him down to the floor and it’s time to work on the arm. Matt’s head is bounced off the mat for two and Jack cranks on the arm even more. A big boot gets two on Hardy and we take another break.

Back with Swagger holding an armbar before grabbing a superplex for two. I suddenly remember why I can’t stand Matt Striker on commentary as he goes on a stupid tangent about political caucuses and how no one challenged in a caucus ever wins. Somehow this is supposed to be about champions never retaining. I’m sure it made sense in Striker’s head and I’m just not smart enough to get it. After all, he used to be a high school history teacher. I say that in jest, but his next line to Todd Grisham is “it’s way over your head.”

Anyway Jack loads up another superplex but gets powerbombed off the top for two. The fans are into this in a hurry. The top turnbuckle pad has been ripped off. Hardy grabs a Russian legsweep for two and the Side Effect gets the same. An armbreaker puts Hardy back down and the running Vader Bomb gets a close two. Off to another armbar but Hardy is quickly to his feet before getting caught in an electric chair. Swagger sends him face first into the exposed buckle and the gutwrench powerbomb gives Swagger the title. Jack laughing at stunned children is a great touch.

Rating: C+. I remember liking this match back when I watched it live and I still like it now. Swagger is a guy that had a lot of potential and that powerbomb is something he should use more often instead of the ankle lock. Hardy could have been a solid option as a champion and I was kind of surprised he was a glorified transitional champion.

Hardy got a rematch at the 2009 Royal Rumble.

ECW Title: Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Swagger won the title about two weeks ago and this is Hardy’s rematch. We actually get big match intros for this, which is a rare sight for an ECW Title match. Matt takes him into the corner to start before punching Jack in the face. Striker calls that a pugilistic endeavor to sound smart. Another punch sends Swagger to the floor and we head back inside for a clothesline from Matt.

Jack heads to the floor to hide after Matt swings again. Back in and Swagger takes Hardy to the mat and cranks on the arm a bit. Hardy comes back with a dropkick in the corner and a bulldog for two, only to go up and get shoved down to the floor. Back in and Swagger starts in on the arm but Hardy quickly escapes a key lock. A punch to Hardy’s arm blocks a clothesline and a big boot gets two for the champion.

Back to the key lock as Jack stays on the arm. He lifts Hardy off the mat by the arm a few times as the fans cheer for the challenger. Matt fights back but he’s basically fighting with one arm here. A bulldog puts Jack down for two and a middle rope elbow to Swagger’s back gets the same.

Hardy walks into a belly to belly suplex from Jack for two though and both guys are down. A DDT on the arm gets two for the champion but Matt blocks a belly to back superplex. Matt hits a decent looking moonsault for two and the fans are getting into these kickouts. The Twist is countered and Jack sends Matt shoulder and possibly head first into the post. The Swagger Bomb retains the title.

Rating: B-. Better match than I was expecting here with both guys looking good out there. Matt was getting close to being something decent as a singles guy and this was his way off ECW and onto Smackdown. Swagger would go on to win a world title and shock the world in the process before falling through the floor soon after. Solid opener here.

We’ll move on to another guy challenging Swagger for the title, this time at No Way Out 2009.

ECW Title: Finlay vs. Jack Swagger

Swags has the title here of course. Christian would come back soon to really get the title going but for now we have this still. You can literally see people heading to get popcorn and drinks as Swagger comes out. Horny helped Finlay break Swagger’s undefeated streak so there’s your reason for this match. Ok, apparently Christian is already back. That came out of nowhere.

Finlay works on the knee but has his shoulder rammed into the post. The fans aren’t exactly impressed. Shoulderbreaker gets two. The fans are more or less openly booing this now. Swagger hammers on the arm as Finlay is in trouble. He gets a move that doesn’t really have a name but Christian has done it before. You set for a reverse DDT but drive the other guy’s back into a knee.

Swagger charges at Finlay in the corner but the Irish dude gets a rolling cradle for one as he couldn’t get the shoulders down. Swagger puts Finlay on the top but they get down without anything of note happening. Crowd is mostly dead but not quite. Here comes Horny again for no apparent reason. Cross body off the middle rope gets two for Finlay. Celtic Cross is set up but for absolutely zero reason at all, Horny gets on the apron (he’s called a child again despite having abeard). Finlay is rammed into him and the gutwrench powerbomb ends this.

Rating: D. Weak match and no one bought Finlay as having a chance with Christian being back now. Horny being up there like that made zero sense at all unless they’re trying to make him out to be a child which is rather stupid as HE HAS A BEARD. Why am I trying to figure out Leprechaun facial hair? Match was kind of there.

Swagger would lose the title to Christian soon after this. He would receive a rematch in a Scramble match at The Bash.

ECW Title: Christian vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger vs. Mark Henry vs. Finlay

This is a Scramble match which is more or less a gauntlet. Every three minutes someone else comes in and whoever gets the final pin is champion but you have to pin the champion for the pin to count. Uh…sure. Christian and Swagger start us off. Wow it’s weird to see Swagger as champion before Christian. I miss the pushups.

Ok so if Swagger pins Christian he’s IT more or less? I guess that makes sense. I’m assuming that there will be a clock once everyone comes in. Striker implies a heel turn for Christian but nothing ever came for that. The clock begins far before three minutes is up and it’s Finlay. Striker talks about Irishmen from centuries ago as no one cares at all. Swagger pokes Finlay in the eye and rolls him up to become IT.

Christian and Swagger do a nice little sequence that gets two for the Canadian. He beats Christian down as Dreamer is number four. Dreamer beats up everyone with incredibly basic stuff but throws out a Sky High. Ok apparently it’s not Swagger that has to lose the title as it’s just the last pin. Uh…that kind of makes sense I suppose.

They blow a spot where Christian is on the mat and Dreamer gets thrown onto him. It just looked really awkward. Finlay finally comes back to life and hits the Celtic Cross on Swagger to become IT. Finlay and Dreamer don’t work well together to put it mildly. And here’s Henry to suck the life out of the match. Ok so now we have five minutes left and whoever gets the last fall is champion. Got it.

Dreamer takes the World’s Worst Finisher with 4:15 to make Henry IT. Everyone not named Dreamer beats Henry up and the people start booing for some reason. Finlay hits a suicide dive onto Swagger. Have to love old men flying all over the place. Henry teases a top rope dive but for the sake of the gravitational pull, Swagger saves him and gets the pin to become it with about 2:20 to go.

I like knowing how much longer to go at times and this is one of them. Christian hits the Killswitch on Swagger but Dreamer DDTs him at 1:20 to become IT. It becomes a big mess now which makes sense at least. On instinct Dreamer goes for a cover which they don’t point out the stupidity of. Everyone goes for covers but the clock runs out and Dreamer retains. He screams “I WON???” in a funny moment.

Rating: C+. These matches are hard to call but I liked it. Thankfully they haven’t killed them by having them every two weeks or something like that. This still feels fresh though and it comes off as a good way to be different. Also it makes Dreamer look like a competent champion and not a jobber which I can’t complain about. This worked but was still a little bit weird.

After falling through the floor for awhile, Swagger would make it to the Money in the Bank match at Wrestlemania 26.

Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Matt Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Kane vs. Christian

Kane has a BIG black eye for reasons never explained. Remember when I said eight man matches were too busy? Well here’s a TEN man version. It’s a big brawl to start until MVP throws in the first ladder. Drew tries to go up but gets shoved over by Matt. MVP hits a big running boot to knock Drew to the floor. Nine people fight for two sides of a ladder to climb but Kane cleans house and sends about five guys to the floor.

Christian and Matt go up but Kofi (in the rare white trunks) makes the save. Ziggler hits a kind of Zig Zag off the ladder to Christian but Kane and MVP get back inside. Things are already really congested here. Kane is put into the corner and has a ladder rammed into his ribs. Kofi stumbles up the ladder and falls onto the steel. Shelton comes in with Paydirt to MVP and loads up the big ladder, only to be stabbed with a ladder by Swagger. Jack winds up inside the ladder and gets speared from either side with the tops of ladders between the rungs of the big ladder by Christian and Matt.

Now the ladders Matt and Christian used are bridged across the top rope like a big cross kind of thing. Matt and Christian climb up while Bourne climbs up the side of the ladder. The ladder Matt is standing on falls out and Bourne kicks Christian down, but instead of GETTING THE CASE, Evan hits the Shooting Star on Christian. Now Matt stops Bourne but Swagger comes up and throws Matt onto the other bridged ladder, leaving everyone down.

MVP and Shelton go up but a rana by Benjamin send both guys out to the floor. Kane is the first person back inside but Ziggler makes the stop. He actually climbs over Kane but the big man shoves the ladder over to make the stop. A chokeslam onto the ladder has Dolph in trouble, much like Kane actually slamming the ladder onto Ziggler so hard he BREAKS THE LADDER. In the creative spot of the night, Kofi picks up the two broken pieces and walks on the like stilts.

McIntyre finally makes the save and brings the big ladder back inside. Hardy finally makes the save by shoving Drew off the ladder and onto the top rope for a big crotching. Matt is alone but can’t quite pull the thing down. Christian and Kane join him on top and it’s the big bald being shoved down. Christian hits the reverse DDT (called the Twist of Fate by that schnook Cole) and here’s Swagger back inside. It’s Swagger and Christian on top and a case to the head allows Swagger to (FINALLY as it takes forever) pull down the case to win.

Rating: B-. C+. WAY too many people in there which led to way too much laying around. It’s not a terrible match or anything, but these are getting weaker and weaker as they keep going. Kofi’s stilts spot was great but other than that there’s nothing to see here. We’ve seen these same spots so many times now and they’re getting repetitive, making them weaker every time.

Swagger would win the title about eight days later. His first PPV defense was against Randy Orton (who pinned him less than a week after he won the title to set this up because WWE is stupid sometimes). From Extreme Rules 2010.

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger

Remember it’s Extreme Rules which I guess means no rules? Crowd loves them some Orton. Swagger controls early on as you would expect. I’m hoping they don’t make the switch tonight. Orton chasing the title for a few months would be nice. Also Swagger needs the credibility that the title gives him.

I love how more or less the announcers say Orton has nothing but the RKO. That’s not that nice. Swagger is dominating but Orton gets a belt shot to break that up. Ok then. Orton hits that same powerslam that Punk hit earlier. Swagger counters the elevated DDT too. Nicely done. It’s garbage can time.

SICK shots with it from Orton. Those were nice. Orton is going off now and it’s awesome. Orton does a stomp to Swagger’s head while he’s on the steps. Ow. The knee drop misses though and Swagger hits the floor. Naturally he gets caught in the elevated DDT though and it’s Orton setting for the RKO now. Hint: when he slaps the mat and shouts, it means RKO is coming.

Instead though he sets up a chair but the RKO onto it is countered. Well kind of it was. The look came off terribly but I get the concept. Gutwrench powerbomb hits and Swagger gets the pin. HUGE win there. That was all Swagger as he countered the RKO and got the pin. All Swagger there. Post match Orton gets the RKO to keep the tweener thing going.

Rating: B-. Not great but the booking was exactly right. This was a decent little match as Swagger is getting better and better in the ring. For the life of me though I have do not agree with having Swagger lose to set up the match. He’s already not a strong champion so they have him get pinned? Have it be a DQ or countout at least. As for the match, I liked it for what it was. It’s no classic but not bad at all.

The title reign wouldn’t last long as people expected it wouldn’t. Swagger would stick around the midcard until the end of the year when he would get a US Title shot at TLC. Swagger wouldn’t win, but he wanted a rematch in regular wrestling. The match too place on the December 30, 2010 episode of Smackdown.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Jack Swagger

Unless there’s something extra at the end, there is a ton of time for this at over 15 minutes left of time in the videos, not including commercials.  Striker calls Vickie Haystacks.  For an old school fan like me, Striker’s little one liners are awesome.  Commercial before the match starts so we don’t miss the opening.  And we’re off.

They double team Kofi to start as the commentators like Dolph to retain.  Ah Josh goes with Kofi for his athleticism.  The big elbow hits Kofi as he’s in big trouble.  The fans cheer for him as we’re three minutes into this and it’s been the exact same thing the entire time.  Swagger tells the fans that he’s their hero.

The guy that might be from Africa but might be from the Caribbean takes over and takes out both guys with a big old suicide dive as we take a break.  Back with Kofi holding Swagger in an armbar as Ziggler is still on the floor.  Dolph breaks up what was presumably going to be the Boom Drop and takes Kofi down on the floor.

Back in the ring a Fameasser to Swagger gets two for the champion.  Vickie yells when a Ziggler neckbreaker gets two on Kofi.  Swagger tries to get back up so Dolph drills him off the apron to get back to Kofi.  That’s rather intelligent indeed and a good thing to see in matches.  Dolph cranks on a chinlock as Kofi is in trouble.

Swagger has been on the floor for a long time here.  Kofi fights back and hits a Superman Punch to drop Dolph for awhile.  Boom Drop hits and it’s Kofi in control.  Here comes Trouble in Paradise but Swagger pops up and pulls Kofi out of the air with a German.  Kofi and Dolph ram heads on the suplex and both are down.  Swagger covers both for long twos as the crowd is getting way into this very quickly.

Back up Dolph can’t get a superplex on Kofi so Swagger powerbombs the heck out of the champion instead.  HUGE crossbody by Kofi only gets two.  Swagger takes out the knee as we’re about to go after the ankle.  Kofi counters it but whiffs on Trouble in Paradise.  Ankle Lock goes on but Dolph hooks the Zig Zag on Swagger for two as Kofi makes the save.

This is GREAT stuff if you didn’t get that.  Kofi vs. Swagger at the moment and Kofi gets something similar to a tornado DDT as Swagger stopped the spin part but Kofi dropped him straight down for two as Vickie puts Swagger’s foot on the rope.  Doctor Bomb is reversed and Trouble in Paradise puts Swagger out cold.  Dolph runs in and rolls up Kofi to steal the pin and keep the title at 12:50 shown of 16:20.

Rating: A. Now I’m not a person that likes triple threats for the most part.  For a big time showdown for a title I’m a traditionalist and want to see two people square off for the gold.  This match was great though with great storytelling, a TON of close near falls and an ending that fit it perfectly.  Dolph kept making sure he was in the ring for the vast majority of the time because he knew he had to protect the title.

Other than that you had both guys trying to avoid finishers and using their experience against each other to counter the known moves.  This was incredibly fun and well worth watching as even knowing who wound up winning I got sucked into it.  Great match and great to see the young guys get to show off to end the year.

Swagger would become Michael Cole’s coach for Cole’s showdown with Jerry Lawler at Wrestlemania XXVII. Cole would win (and we’ll leave that disaster at that) and there would be a tag team match to follow up at Extreme Rules 2011.

Michael Cole/Jack Swagger vs. Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler

Country whipping match here, which means they all have straps.  Cole, I kid you not, is wrapped in bubble wrap.  Ross has a legit broken hand after beating Cole up Monday.  Cole gives us his resume as a reporter and insults all of Florida by saying everyone is old.  Lawler vs. Cole to start as Lawler can’t hurt him.  Lawler goes for the only unprotected part: Cole’s face.  There goes the bubble wrap and it’s off to Swagger.

Basically this is Lawler vs. Swagger for all intents and purposes as they have a one on one match for a few minutes.  Lawler gets him down but takes a chop block as he goes after Cole.  Ankle Lock goes on for like 30 seconds as Ross WEAKLY hits Swagger to break the hold.  Off to JR who puts an ankle lock on Swagger!  Swagger escapes and I think accidentally tags Cole.  Ross wastes WAY too much time for a clothesline and whips Cole a bit.  Ankle lock goes on Cole and even takes Swagger out with a low blow.  He turns to whip Swagger….and gets rolled up by Cole to end it.  Dang it this is going to keep going isn’t it?

Rating: F. Hey look, Cole wins again and gets to run his mouth a bit more.  Not as bad as Mania but still, DO SOMETHING ELSE!  This has been done and it’s been done multiple times already so why do they keep going with it?  Cole can still be a jerk but give us SOMETHING for a change instead.  Match sucked too.

He wouldn’t be an All-American American if he didn’t wrestle on the Fourth of July would he? From 2011.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Jack Swagger

Slaughter is very bald.  If you’ve seen any Sarge match where he’s a legend you’ll seen this one.  Sarge gets the jump on him a few seconds into the match and gets the Cobra Clutch but Swagger escapes and a Vader Bomb ends this at 1:18.

In late 2011, the hottest star in the company was Zack Ryder. WWE then decided that having him over in the midcard and selling a ton of merchandise was a bad thing, so they had Kane beat him up and then defend the US Title against Jack Swagger on January 16, 2012’s Raw.

US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Zack Ryder

Swagger goes straight for the ribs and Ryder’s offense can’t do much. Vader Bomb to the back gets two. Gutwrench powerbomb barely gets two. Another gets the same. He drops elbows on Ryder’s ribs and slaps him around before hitting a third powerbomb…and he wins the freaking title at 2:35.

Swagger wouldn’t do much more for the rest of the year due to injuries and various other issues. We’ll pick things up at Elimination Chamber 2013. Swagger would return to TV at the side of Zeb Colter, a man who was basically a caricature of the Tea Party political movement. This would work well for Swagger though, as he would qualify for the Elimination Chamber match where the winner would receive a World Title match at Wrestlemania XXIX.

Jack Swagger vs. Kane vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry vs. Chris Jericho

Swagger has new music and Zeb Coulter with him. Jack says that when he talks, he showers us with truth. The mustache with Coulter attached talks about the Louisiana Purchase and how disappointed Thomas Jefferson would be with what has become of the once great nation. He doesn’t like illegal immigrants asking for handouts, so the two of them will make things right. Tonight marks the beginning of a Jack Swagger America. The starters are going to be Jericho and Bryan.

Jericho snaps off some armdrags and hooks a headlock on the mat. Bryan counters into a NO Lock attempt but Jericho rolls out into an attempt at the Walls. Bryan rolls out of that to send Jericho into the corner before hitting some NO kicks. Daniel moonsaults out of the corner but gets sent to the cage on the outside. They fight to try to slam each other onto the Chamber floor but Bryan tries the NO Lock again. Jericho counters into a slingshot into the cage as they head back inside.

Back in and a belly to back suplex gets two for Chris. Jack Swagger is in third and he goes right after Jericho. Bryan gets rammed into the cage wall a few times and Swagger follows up with a splash to crush Goat Face again. Swagger drives his knee into Bryan’s head to mash it against the Chamber floor but Jericho makes a save. Jack sends the Canadian into the cage a few times but Bryan comes back with a running knee to Swagger’s head to put him down again.

The swan dive from Bryan misses Jericho and Kane is in fourth. Kane and Bryan team up on Jericho and Swagger but Bryan turns on Kane with a rollup for two. Bryan wants to hug it out but instead Kane hits him in the face. The NO kicks have Kane in some trouble but the NO Lock is countered into a side slam for two. Kane goes up top but Bryan breaks up the clothesline. Jericho comes back in and plays Animal to Kane’s Hawk in a Doomsday Device on Bryan. That gets two for Swagger but he can’t suplex Kane a second later.

Randy Orton comes in fifth. He cleans house and hits a slingshot suplex on Bryan followed by the Elevated DDT on Kane onto the Chamber. In a cool visual, Orton superplexes Swagger just before Jericho superplexes Bryan to put all five guys down. Henry is desperate to get in and there goes the clock, giving us all six guys in the Chamber at once. House is cleaned again and a World’s Strongest Slam eliminates Bryan to get us down to five.

Henry easily tosses Orton through the glass of a pod in a painful looking visual. Back inside it’s Henry vs. Kane and the masked man staggers Henry with a big boot. The top rope clothesline is countered into another World’s Strongest Slam to eliminate Kane and get us down to four. Henry loads up Jericho but Chris escapes and sends Henry into the pod wall. Swagger helps Jericho out and they hit a double suplex onto the Chamber floor. Jericho and Swagger head back in and a cross body off the top gets two for Chris.

The gutwrench powerbomb is blocked by Jericho but he can’t hook the Walls. A bulldog looks to set up the Lionsault but Henry catches Jericho by the throat and throws him into the Chamber wall. Mark launches Jericho onto Swagger and both blonde haired guys are down. Henry misses a Vader Bomb onto both guys and it’s a Codebreaker and RKO to eliminate the World’s Strongest Man.

We’re down to Orton, Swagger and Jericho but all three guys are down. Henry is applauded as he leaves but goes back inside to hit World’s Strongest Slams on all three guys. The fans are digging Henry here and I can’t say I blame them. Booker and Teddy come out to try to stop Henry and they finally get him out of the Chamber. Swagger covers Orton for two and has early control of the three way fight.

Orton and Jericho team up to throw Swagger shoulder and head first into the post/pod. The slugout is on now instead of eliminating Swagger though which could come back to haunt them. Jericho goes up but jumps into a dropkick for two. Swagger is back in now and walks into a powerslam, as does Jericho. Chris breaks up the Elevated DDT on Swagger with a dropkick for two. The Codebreaker to Swagger is countered into a belly to belly suplex for two more.

The running Vader Bomb (popular move tonight) doesn’t connect with Orton but Swagger avoids the boot to the face and hooks the Patriot Act. Jericho hits an enzugiri on Swagger to break up the hold (why?) and there are the Walls on Jack. Orton breaks up the hold (again, why?) and gets two on Jericho before hitting a double Elevated DDT. Randy loads up the RKO but Jericho blocks it, only to miss the Lionsault and walk into the RKO for the elimination. Swagger immediately rolls up Orton for the final pin at 31:25 to go to Wrestlemania.

Rating: B. This was solid stuff and while it was somewhat obvious that Swagger was winning when they got down to three, the match never got dull or uninteresting as they had a very solid triple threat segment at the end. I’m not wild on Swagger winning and getting a shot at the title, but at least they’ve tweaked his character a bit to make him somewhat more interesting. Good Chamber match.

Here’s his title match.

World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger

After all that, Swagger doesn’t even get an entrance. AT WRESTLEMANIA. Colter goes into a rant about how horrible this country is because of how many other languages people speak now, including Chinese and Yiddish. However, Swagger will fix everything tonight by winning the World Heavyweight Championship. Del Rio wears an old school robe and after the big match intros we’re ready to go.

Del Rio quickly sends him to the floor and sends Swagger into the announcers’ table but gets trippled by Colter. Back inside and Jack sends him shoulder first into the post to take over. A quick rollup gets two for the champion but Jack drops him with a kick to the head. The Vader Bomb gets two but Del Rio counters Jack instead of having his knee wrapped around the post. Back in and Jack runs into a boot to the face before taking a few clotheslines to put the champion back in control.

Alberto stomps on Colter’s hand for good measure before the low superkick gets two. The armbreaker is countered into a kind of powerslam for a very close two as Jack is in control again. Jack takes out the knee and puts on the Patriot Lock but Alberto quickly kicks away. He misses the enziguri in the corner though and Jack stays up. Del Rio comes right back with a series of forearms in the corner and the Backstabber is good for two.

The champion hits a German suplex but takes his time following up. His cross armbreaker is countered into the gutwrench powerbomb to give Swagger a two count and there’s the Patriot Lock again. Alberto is almost to the ropes but Jack pulls him back into the middle. Instead Del Rio pulls him down into the armbreaker but Jack counters that into the Patriot Lock.

This time Alberto makes the ropes before countering another gutwrench suplex into a kick to the head. He limps into the corner enziguri for two as Colter puts Swagger’s leg on the ropes. Zeb goes even more evil by kicking Ricardo’s leg out to draw Del Rio outside, allowing Jack to send him into the barricade. Back in and Alberto grabs the armbreaker out of nowhere to retain the title. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: C+. This was getting good in the middle but they ran to the finish almost immediately. There’s a chemistry there and I’d love to see them do stuff on the mat and trade submissions for fifteen minutes. Instead it didn’t even get eleven and they cut off the technical stuff to go for the manager. That being said, it’s still a good match but it could have been great.

Swagger’s run was more or less over at this point so the solution was the same as it always is: job him a lot and then throw him into a tag team. In this case it was with Cesaro as the Real Americans. They would be in a fourway Tag Team Title match at TLC 2013.

Tag Titles: Real Americans vs. Big Show/Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Rhodes and Goldust are defending and this is elimination rules. Ryback and Axel have both beaten the champions in the last few weeks while Big Show and Mysterio have teamed together I believe once. Ryback shoves Rhodes around to start but gets caught in a half crab, allowing Goldust to come in with an elbow to the back of Ryback’s head. Off to Axel for a nice dropkick, only to get caught in a wristlock.

Axel fights up but Goldust makes a tag off to Big Show who keeps up the arm work. There’s the skin ripping chop and the fans want it one more time. Show does it a third time and Axel sells it like he got shot. Mysterio comes in for some forearms but Axel sends him into the corner. Ryback gets the tag and pounds Mysterio down, only to bring Axel back in for something resembling stereo cross bodies to put both guys down.

Double tags bring in Ryback and Goldust with the champion scoring off the uppercut and a spinebuster. Ryback loads up a powerbomb but gets rolled up for the pin by Goldust, getting us down to three teams at 6:12. Cesaro comes in to pummel Goldust in the corner before it’s off to Swagger for a front facelock. The fans start chanting WE THE PEOPLE as Goldust is sent to the floor for a clothesline from Swagger.

Back inside and Cesaro gets two off the gutwrench suplex and we hit the chinlock. Off to Jack again for a bearhug as Big Show plays cheerleader for Goldust. Goldie fights back with right hands and a springboard elbow to the jaw. Cesaro easily takes him down and we get a short version Cesaro Swing. A Swagger belly to belly suplex puts Goldust down again and we get the Vader Bomb/double stomp sequence from the Real Americans for another two.

Antonio puts on another chinlock but this time Goldust escapes with a jawbreaker. Cesaro can’t break up the tag but Swagger runs around the ring and pulls Cody off the apron. Cody is holding his knee as Big Show throws Swagger into the barricade and Goldust catches Cesaro with a hurricanrana. A powerslam puts Cesaro down again and the hot tag brings in Big Show. Cesaro is thrown all over the ring and a shoulder block turns him inside out. Both Americans get punched in the jaw and Big Show pins Cesaro for the elimination at 14:42.

So we’re down to the two good guy teams but Big Show waits for the champions to get on their feet. A hard shoulder block puts Goldust on the floor and Cody gives him a somewhat angry pep talk. Goldust comes back in for a top rope cross body with Big Show waiting on the impact for about eight seconds. The chokeslam is countered into a DDT for two and it’s off to Cody for a double suplex on Big Show for two. The fans are rapidly losing interest.

Big Show swats a Disaster Kick out of the air and it’s off to Mysterio (remember him?) for a springboard seated senton to Cody. Now the Disaster Kick connects for two on Mysterio and Cody is getting frustrated. Cross Rhodes is countered into the 619 to both champions. Goldust is sent into the barricade by Big Show but Cody sends the giant into the post.

Cody tries a springboard dropkick but gets caught in a powerbomb by Rey (how often do you hear that?) for two. Cross Rhodes are countered again but the 619 is countered into an Alabama Slam which is countered into a sunset flip for a VERY close two. The third attempt at Cross Rhodes FINALLY connects for the pin to retain the titles at 21:06.

Rating: A-. This dragged a bit in the middle but man alive that ending was great. Cody and Goldust are just awesome right now and I’m so glad they didn’t give the titles to another thrown together team. I have no idea why the Usos weren’t in there somehow other than putting in two bigger names. Really good match here though.

We’ll wrap it up with a fourway match for a future Intercontinental Title shot.

Jack Swagger vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Mark Henry vs. Kofi Kingston

One fall to a finish and the winner gets Big E. (on commentary) for the Intercontinental Title at Elimination Chamber. Henry quickly throws Swagger to the floor but gets taken down by Kofi and Rey. The two speed guys get to have a showdown with Rey dropkicking Kofi for two but they have to eliminate Swagger again. Kofi dives over the top to put Jack down again and Rey hits a running seated senton from the apron. Henry is back in and loads up a dive of his own, only to have Swagger take out his leg.

Two straight Vader Bombs have Henry in trouble but Jack has to clothesline Rey down for two. Mysterio comes back with a top rope seated senton for two followed by the sitout bulldog for two more with Kofi making the save. Rey is sent into the post before Kofi bounce up the ropes and dropkicks Swagger down before hitting the Boom Drop. Rey gets knocked off the apron again and Swagger loads up Kingston in a superplex. Henry tries to make it a Tower of Doom but Kofi holds on, meaning it’s only a powerbomb to Swagger.

Henry cleans house but Swagger takes out the leg again and puts on the Patriot Lock, only to have Mark kick him off. Rey hits a 619 to Mark’s ribs and Kofi adds Trouble in Paradise but Jack is on his feet again. Kofi grabs a German suplex on Rey but Jack suplexes both of them at once in a nice power display. Kingston is sent to the floor but slides back in to break up a 619 attempt. Henry makes the save but gets kicked to the floor by Kofi. The distraction lets Swagger catch Kofi in the Patriot Lock for the submission at 8:35.

Rating: C+. Nice match here with everyone doing their job perfectly. I didn’t see the Mysterio knee injury but I’d guess it was on the seated senton from the apron as he went off camera for a few minutes as a result. Swagger getting the shot is a good enough choice as he was the only heel here and Henry vs. Big E. does nothing for me.

Jack Swagger is a guy who has talent and potential to be something great, but the problem for him now is how brand damaged he is. People see Jack Swagger coming to the ring and it’s almost an automatic loss. He’s a guy that would need to be entirely repackaged and given a new character. Not Jack Swagger doing something different but not Jack Swagger anymore. Unfortunately there’s not much you can do with that when Swagger isn’t really a character that you can just have doing something new. He needs to be something completely different, because this character ran dry about three years ago.

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Supercard of Honor VIII
Date: April 4, 2014
Location: Alario Center, Westwego, Louisiana
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Nigel McGuinness, Steve Corino

I’m not the biggest ROH fan in the world but I was in New Orleans for Wrestlemania weekend and saw ROH was having a pay per view the night I got into town. The general admission ticket was cheap so I grabbed a seat and took in my first Ring of Honor show ever. I didn’t know a lot of the people on the card so it’s going to be interesting to hear the commentary to fill in some details. The main event is Adam Cole defending the World Title against Jay Briscoe in Ladder War V, which is their version of a TLC match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video shows last year’s Supercard of Honor where Jay Briscoe won the title in the first place. He was injured last summer and had to vacate the title, but held onto the belt and said he was never defeated for the title. Therefore, there are two titles but only Adam Cole is champion, setting up the main event tonight. The idea here is Briscoe is nuts but Cole is classy. Adam gives off a Bobby Roode vibe in his promos.

We start with a YES chant as the announcers run down the card.

Cedric Alexander vs. Roderick Strong

Strong is part of the Decade (Strong, Jimmy Jacobs and BJ Whitmer with their assistant Adam Page), which represents the old days of ROH and doesn’t like a lot of the disrespectful young punks around anymore. They threw Cedric’s bag out of the locker room to show their displeasure after Cedric used Strong’s backbreaker. The Decade also has their Young Boy Adam Page here to towel them off and hand them water, which isn’t the worst gimmick in the world.

They trade wristlocks to start with Strong getting the better of it until Cedric quickly flips out of it and sends Roderick into the corner. The Decade is quickly on the apron to check on Strong as the match slows down already. A dropkick puts Strong down though and he’s bleeding from the hand. Alexander goes to the corner but gets tripped up, sending the back of his head into the top turnbuckle to give Strong control.

Adam Page runs back down to the ring with a bandage for Strong as he hits a backbreaker for two on Cedric. We stop to get the thumb taped up which I thought was putting on a foreign object live. Some knees to the back are good for two and we hit a rear waistlock. Back up and Roderick misses a dropkick as the announcers talk about RD Evans’ streak. Strong loses the tape off his hand and gets caught with a slingshot DDT for two.

A half nelson facebuster gets the same but he gets caught by a running knee to the ribs and an Angle Slam for two. Some running knees in the corner look to set up a Rock Bottom but Cedric crucifixes him down for two. Strong comes right back with a backbreaker for two more and they chop it out. A running knee to Cedric’s face sets up a fireman’s carry into a double knee gutbuster for a VERY close two and the fans think this is awesome. That’s a stretch at this point.

Alexander comes back with a spinning kick to the face out of the corner (remember that for later) but has to go after Adam Page. A fireman’s carry into another kick to the head drops Strong and another kick knocks Jimmy Jacobs to the floor as well. Cedric dives onto the Decade but springboards into a dropkick which mostly misses. Strong lifts him into the air for a suplex but drops him onto his knees (ankles but whatever) for the pin.

Rating: C+. The match was going well but the camera showing the misses at the end really brought it down for me. You could see that the dropkick missed live but the cameras made the finish look a lot worse. Still though, I liked the idea they were going for here and it was a fast paced opener which got the crowd going.

Post match Jimmy Jacobs agrees that that was wrestling (another stretch) and says you can learn exactly what NOT to do by watching Cedric Alexander. You can learn how to get started in this company by watching Adam Page however. Alexander almost comes back into the ring but Jacobs orders him out of their building. Jacobs advises Adrenaline Rush and Andrew Everett to take a lesson from Alexander in what NOT to do.

Decade vs. Adrenaline Rush/Andrew Everett

This is a scramble match, which I believe means lucha rules, meaning that if you leave the ring, it’s as good as a tag. Adrenaline Rush is ACH and Tadarius Thomas. Steve Corino says ROH popularized this kind of match, which is just flat out wrong as WCW was having these almost weekly back in their heyday. ACH makes sure to get as many handshakes as he can get when the Decade won’t give him one. Jacobs pulls out his spike to go after ACH but the referee won’t let it happen.

ACH wants to start with Jacobs but Jimmy tags in Page after swearing a bit. They start fast with ACH nailing some fast armdrags into a nipup for a standoff. Off to the powerful BJ Whitmer who knocks ACH into the corner. Some dropkicks have little effect on BJ so ACH actually points into the air to distract him before dropkicking the knee out. Whitmer bails to the floor, allowing Jacobs to come in and knocks ACH to the floor.

Thomas comes in for a rollup to Jimmy followed by Richie Steamboat’s Sling Blade. The high flier Everett comes in and speeds things up with a moonsault over Jacobs followed by a big dropkick. Two backflips set up a hurricanrana to Whitmer but BJ pulls Andrew to the floor. Thomas hammers on Jacobs but charges into the corner and moonsaults down onto Whitmer and Page. Jacobs sends ACH to the apron where BJ pulls him onto his shoulders, setting up a Jimmy spear through the ropes to crush ACH. Cool spot. I’m sorry for all the play by play here but we’re in total spot fest mode.

Back in and ACH gets beaten up as Corino says one of the photographers looks like he’s from Jamaican. Kelly: “HE’S FROM ARKANSAS!” The guy they’re talking about was all over ringside and did more than any crew member I’ve ever seen. The Decade triple teams ACH to give Page a two count followed by a chinlock. A nice spinwheel kick gets the same on ACH and it’s back to BJ for some kicks in the face. ACH comes back with a running clothesline to send BJ onto the floor, setting up a HUGE flip dive to take him down again.

That allows Thomas to come in legally and kick Jacobs in the face (that’s at least two tonight) for two before throwing him down with a suplex. Page comes in for a fireman’s carry backbreaker but Everett comes in as Thomas rolls to the floor. Everett charges too fast into the corner and slips onto the ropes, and we get something I really liked: Page is right on him. Instead of waiting around like an idiot for Everett to get back into position, Page goes over and starts pounding on a fallen opponent, like a wrestler should be doing. It MAKES SENSE for him to be doing that but you hardly ever see that in WWE.

Anyway Andrew comes out of the corner with a nice moonsault press and Page rolls to the floor. BJ comes in but gets caught by a springboard kick to the face (you may be noticing a pattern here). Everett hits a gorgeous springboard shooting star to take out Jacobs and Page followed by a springboard shooting star press for two on Whitmer. A big backdrop sends Everett over the top and to the floor, followed by a wicked clothesline to Thomas. The All Seeing Eye (gutwrench mat slam from Whitmer with a sliding neckbreaker from Jacobs. I’ve seen that somewhere before and I think it was in TNA) is good for the pin on Tadarius.

Rating: C. Total spot fest here and there’s nothing wrong with that. ACH looked polished out there and I can see why he was given a WWE tryout a few months back. That being said, the opening two matches should have been combined into one or had the opener cut. The show starts to drag at the end and neither of these matches really did much differently from the other.

Jacobs gets his spike post match and goes after Thomas until an injured ACH makes the save.

We recap Truth Martini vs. Matt Taven. Martini is a heel manager who led Taven to the TV Title, but after losing the belt they parted ways with Taven firing Truth. Tonight Martini is back with a mystery wrestler to take care of Taven.

Martini says he’s alone tonight but that doesn’t bother him. He won’t be alone for long and promises a big surprise.

Matt Taven vs. ???

Martini comes out alone and says Taven is nothing without him. He calls Kevin Kelly into the ring (Corino: “YOU’RE THE MYSTERY GUY???”) as he reads the end of the Book of Truth. Matt says no one wants to see this and opens the book, only to get kicked low by Martini. Truth says surprise and walks out. No match.

Silas Young vs. RD Evans

Time for a comedy match! Evans is back and on a made up win streak but it’s played totally for laughs. He called himself a real man and that’s not cool with Wrestling’s Last Real Man in Silas Young. However, the interesting part here is Evans’ manager Veda Scott, who is absolutely GORGEOUS. I had heard her name before but I had never seen her in person. She’s a redhead with a kind of sexy nerd thing going on here in a short green skirt. Evans’ other dude Ramon comes out with an 82-0 sign which will come into play later.

Evans kicks Young in the face to start but gets driven hard into the corner to give Silas control. We get a Flair Flip in the corner but Scott trips Silas up for two. Young chases her around the ring but she SPRINTS away and loses her shoes in the process. Ramon offers a distraction and Evans takes over. Scott jumps in on commentary as Evans is slammed off the top. Apparently she’s an attorney along with Evans who is a wrestler on the side. I’ve heard worse gimmicks.

Young puts on a bodyscissors as the announcers talk about Evans winning a match in what sounded like Romania. Back up and a dropkick nails Evans but Young runs into a boot in the corner. A top rope shoulder block puts Young down again and a powerslam gets two. Evans misses a top rope splash though and a backbreaker into a lariat is good for a near fall on RD. Fans: “YOU CAN’T BEAT HIM!”

They head to the apron where Young can’t hit a German suplex to the floor but does hit an electric chair drop onto the apron. Evans DIVES back in at 19 (ROH goes to 20, which I forgot until the referee got to 11) and gets a near fall off a small package. Scott gets on the apron for a distraction as Ramon gets on the apron.

Silas takes the belt and claps his hands before grabbing his back. It’s not enough for the DQ so Evans gets a VERY close near fall off a rollup. The referee takes a belt shot to the head and goes down as Evans hits a running neckbreaker. Young gets up and hits a rolling fireman’s carry into a slingshot moonsault for the pin by another referee to break the streak.

BUT WAIT! The original referee says Young hit him in the head so THAT’S A DQ AND THE STREAK LIVES! Ramon sprints to the back and comes back with an 83-0 sign as Scott goes nuts.

Rating: C. This was so over the top and completely goofy but I totally loved it. There’s something awesome about a character that is played totally for laughs like this and Veda Scott made it all the better. The fact that the skirt was barely there helped a lot but she’s also hilarious on commentary. I dug this one a lot and the fans did too.

Mike Bennett and Maria promise to make Mark Briscoe feel pain tonight. He promises a new submission to put Chicken Briscoe down.

Mark Briscoe is all fired up and sounds completely insane, talking about a shark and a female dog being in a jungle before tearing Bennett’s face off like a gorilla.

Mike Bennett vs. Mark Briscoe

No DQ. Maria is with Mike here and somehow blows Veda Scott away by wearing basically a bikini. Briscoe takes him down with a flip dive off the apron to get things going. Maria rants at the commentary table about how she didn’t want Mike to do this in the first place. Back in and a hard clothesline drops Bennett again but he comes back by whipping Mark into the barricade.

They head into the crowd with Briscoe backdropping him onto the stands and landing a big dive off a railing. Back to ringside where Bennett is able to pelt a chair at Mark’s head a few times to take over. Inside again with a low blow with a chair before Bennett wedges the chair in the corner. In a funny bit he sings Edge’s theme song but misses a charge into the chair, knocking him back to the floor. Mark hits a running elbow off the apron for two and they fight up to the entrance.

The fans and announcers say they can’t see anything as Briscoe is knocked off the stags and through a table as the cameraman goes down. They head back to the ring with Maria acting as a shield for Bennett. To his credit he shoves her out of the way to take the kendo stick shots for her. Maria gets in a cheap shot from the floor and a Side Effect onto a chair sets up a series of chair shots to the back. Bennett Pillmanizes the neck (it’s not a Conchairto if it’s wrapped around a body part people) and puts on an Anaconda Vice for the easy win.

Rating: C. This was a wild brawl which made sense given the story they were telling here. That was quite the ending spot with the Pillmanizing and it was nice to see the match again as I spent most of the first viewing staring at Maria. Seriously, she’s just hard to take your eyes off at any time but barely dressed makes it even better. She’s also great at messing with the crowd as she stands there in terror when Bennett is in trouble but then poses and shakes her hips when Mike wins.

Matt Taven is looking for Truth Martini and gets beaten down in the bathroom by Truth’s new guy who we don’t see. This didn’t air for the live crowd.

Intermission, during which Nigel McGuinness was working the merchandise stand. This ran about twenty minutes but they cut it out here for obvious reasons.

Speaking of Nigel, he replaced Corino on commentary for the second half of the show.

A small guy named Cheeseburger is in the ring and asks who wants free t-shirts. He’s interrupted by Matt Hardy who tells Cheeseburger to get out of the ring before something bad happens to him. Matt says he’s back in Ring of Honor and it’s on to its biggest year ever. ROH’s ratings, attendance and merchandising are setting records and it’s all because Matt Hardy is here again. He’s giving ROH the rub and has picked Adam Cole as the Holy Spirit of Wrestling.

Matt says the internet smark fans just don’t get it. Cole and himself are like the Holy Trinity you hear about in church because they’re one in the same. Hardy: “Go ahead and boo. It’s just part of my $15,000 payday.” Matt says he and Cole run this company along with Michael Bennett and Maria Kanellis instead of the fans or announcers. Tonight Cole will cement himself as the greatest ROH World Champion in history, including CM Punk. Cheeseburger gets in the ring like an idiot and takes a Twist of Fate. “You’re not on my menu anymore.” The heat was great, but this didn’t need nine minutes.

Forever Hooligans vs. ReDragon vs. Hanson/Raymond Rowe

The Hooligans are Alex Kozlov (fake Russian but a small guy) and Rocky Romero. ReDragon is Bobby Fish and Kyle O’Reilly. Fish is very energetic and tries to fire Kyle up before we get things going. Hanson and Rowe are two big power guys that you don’t often see in ROH. The winner of this gets a Tag Team Title match against the Young Bucks at some point in the future.

Rowe and O’Reilly get things going by circling each other for a bit. Kyle knocks Hanson to the floor but makes the mistake of heading outside for a breather. Hanson plants him with a slam so it’s off to Fish who walks into an overhead belly to belly. Hanson gets the tag and nails a clothesline to the back of the head for two. Bobby heads outside again and we get a chase, resulting in Fish sliding back in and tagging out to Romero.

Two fingers to the eyes slow Hanson down and a hurricanrana puts him on the mat. Off to Kozlov for some double teaming, including a springboard cross body for two. O’Reilly tags Hanson after the big man drops Alex with a clothesline but Romero gets in a cheap shot from the apron to give the Hooligans control. Now we get to the stupid comedy portion of the match with Kozlov putting on one of those Russian hats and hitting some dancing kicks to the head. Thankfully it doesn’t last long.

Romero starts firing off running clotheslines to Kyle in the corner and won’t let Alex hit one of his own. They nearly come to blows but hug it out to a big reaction. Rowe comes in to blame Romero with something resembling a release Rock Bottom but Fish tags himself in to work over Rocky. ReDragon hits a backbreaker/middle rope knee combo for two on Romero before things settle back down.

Kyle works over Rocky’s arm before it’s back to Fish for some shots of his own. Kyle comes in again for a hammerlock slam and a chinlock but Rocky fights back with a spinning kick to the face. Alex gets the tag and hits a springboard cross body on Kyle, despite Rowe clearly touching O’Reilly’s back in plain view of the referee. Kozlov nails a bunch of kicks to the head and takes out most of the people in the match with a big flip dive.

A springboard missile dropkick gets two on Kyle but Hanson comes in and cleans house. Everything breaks down even more and everyone is knocked to the mat or floor. Kozlov and O’Reilly are the only ones left in the ring and they slug it out until Rowe trips Kyle to the floor. Rowe is driven into the barricade by Kyle and hit with a running dropkick off the apron from Fish. Hanson catches a diving Fish in a powerslam but Kozlov sends him to the floor. Alex hits a shooting star for two but Fish makes the save. Forever Hooligans loads up some kind of a double team move on Fish but he slips off Alex’s back and gets a rollup for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was an insane tag match but it went on a bit too long. It was entertaining enough but I would have gone with the title match here instead of the #1 contenders match. Still though, this was another fun spot fest with some power added in to balance things out in a nice addition.

Replays show that Fish had a handful of trunks.

We recap Tommaso Ciampa vs. Jay Lethal which started about two years ago when Ciampa injured his knee in a match against Lethal and was put out for a year. Lethal has had Ciampa beaten twice but various issues has cost him the TV Title. Tonight it’s 2/3 falls again.

TV Title: Tommaso Ciampa vs. Jay Lethal

Ciampa is defending and this is 2/3 falls. This is where the fans were getting restless as you could see a lot of them looking at their phones and the chants started to die a bit. Ciampa takes off his knee brace for the first time since his injury in a symbolic move. Feeling out process to start as they trade headlocks and rollups for two each. A hiptoss puts the champion down and Lethal cartwheels over to a standoff.

They chop it out in the corner but Lethal misses a springboard dropkick. Jay kicks him into the barricade and nails a suicide dive followed by a second one for good measure. A third puts Ciampa into the crowd and the fans chant for ROH. Why they don’t chant for Lethal is beyond me, but it’s happened since the ECW days. Lethal is whipped into the barricade and Ciampa hits a running knee so fast that he falls right back into the crowd. The referee restarts the count for no apparent reason before Ciampa throws Jay back inside.

Jay comes back with some kicks to the head and a dropkick in the corner for two until Ciampa bites Jay’s hand to escape. Lethal tries a Tajiri handspring elbow but gets caught in what was supposed to be a Backstabber. They fight over a suplex until they both go over the top in a big crash. Neither guy gets the better of a slugout and they both slide back inside at the 19 count, which didn’t please the fans in my section. Another Tajiri handspring is countered but Lethal grabs a German suplex for the pin and the first fall.

There’s no rest period so gets in a quick shot to the head and they trade near falls. Lethal Combination (backbreaker into a Downward Spiral) sets up a Koji Clutch on the champion but he counters into a Rings of Saturn Crossface. Jay gets his feet into the ropes though and it’s time for another slugout. Again neither guy can get the better of it so Jay tries another Tajiri handspring but gets caught in a Diamond Cutter, which apparently is the finish to the handspring.

Lethal busts out Ciampa’s finisher (powerbomb into double knees to the back) for two but ANOTHER Tajiri handspring hits the referee. Ciampa rolls some Germans and hits a discus lariat to put both guys down. This brings out Truth Martini who throws Jay the knee brace. He nails Ciampa in the face for two before nailing the top rope elbow, only to have Ciampa Hulk Up. Some superkicks have no effect but Lethal FINALLY hits the handspring into the cutter for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. This was longer than it needed to be as the second fall could have been cut out to the same result. The ending really didn’t work for me either as Lethal knocked Ciampa out but they did another minute or so, making the entire knee brace thing seem completely worthless. Just too long here, but I’ve never been a Jay Lethal fan in the first place.

Post match Lethal says there’s a new house in New Orleans and it’s the House of Truth.

Michael Elgin vs. Kevin Steen

Winner gets an IWGP Title shot at Global Wars in May. Elgin is one of the few ROH guys I really like but Steen is pretty much the top star in ROH. Steen immediately tries the Package Piledriver but Elgin fights out, only to get caught by a Cannonball in the corner for two. You can tell this is going to be a power brawl. They head to the floor with Elgin being thrown into the barricade which is knocked into the crowd.

Michael is sent into the barricade again around the ring as the fans chant OVER HERE. Elgin reverses and “hits” a running big boot to the….chest I think? Steen teases getting back in but would rather load up a piledriver on the floor. Thankfully Elgin backdrops him down to prevent the whole broken neck thing and lands a delayed vertical suplex on the floor. They head back inside but Elgin’s sunset flip attempt is countered by some running knees to the head for two.

A senton backsplash gets two on Michael but he muscles Steen up into a German suplex to put both guys down. The Sharpshooter from Steen is quickly countered into a suplex for two but Steen misses a moonsault into a flip to give Steen a breather. A knee to the back of Elgin’s head gets two but a second Cannonball is countered into a powerbomb. Steen comes right back with the F-Cinc (French for 5) for another two count.

Elgin wins a slugout and Steen almost falls out to the floor. Michael tries the Cesaro superplex but Kevin headbutts him down, only to get enziguried (again with the head kicks!) to the floor. Kevin powerbombs him onto the apron but Elgin gets up and powerbombs him against the post. That’s only good for two as well so Michael tombstones him down for another near fall. They slug it out until Steen throws him into the air for a powerbomb and gets two off the Package Piledriver.

Steen is STUNNED and takes too long going up top, allowing Elgin to block a Cannonball with knees. A sitout powerbomb gets Elgin another near fall so he loads up a superplex. Steen fights back AGAIN and hits a top rope brainbuster. The kickout shocks everyone again but Elgin is able to counter a Package Piledriver into a triple bomb. Another powerbomb and a lariat set up a buckle bomb on Steen, followed by a Package Piledriver to FINALLY pin Steen.

Rating: B+. This is the kind of match the show was needing for awhile now. It’s totally different from the rest of the show and that was the big problem. The show had become repetitive so mixing things up like this made a good match feel like a very good match. Elgin gets a big win as well which can only help him.

Steen takes awhile to get up and receives a THANK YOU BOTH chant.

The main event took awhile to set up so a bit was cut out here.

ROH World Title: Jay Briscoe vs. Adam Cole

Cole is defending. There are two belts above the ring and three ladders at ringside, first person to pull down the belts wins. Corino is on commentary as well. Jay wins a fight to start and nails a quick backdrop to stagger the champion. He heads outside but comes up with a chair to the head to stop a suicide dive. Back inside and the chair bounces off Briscoe’s head before Adam slams him down onto the steel.

An AA breaks the chair and it’s time for the smallest ladder, only to have Jay baseball slide it into Cole’s face. Some more chair shots put Cole down before Jay pelts the chair at his head to even the score. Adam comes back with a suplex onto the ladder and Briscoe’s head is busted open BAD. The first attempt at the belts is easily cut off as the referee brings in a towel to wipe Jay’s face. He refuses the help of course and brings in the medium sized ladder.

Cole is sent up the ramp but Jay goes after him instead of climbing for the titles. There’s another LOUD chair shot to Cole’s head and Jay bridges the small ladder between two chairs. A big splash knocks Cole off the ladder and now it’s time to climb. Scratch that actually as Jay shoves the medium ladder over and gets a table. Cole is able to get off before Jay can dive off the big ladder though and Adam gets in another cheap shot to take over.

The big ladder is laid against the ropes but both guys head back inside. Briscoe is knocked down by a hard clothesline and the small ladder is thrown into the ring again. Jay pops right back up though and powerbombs Adam onto the small ladder in the corner. Adam fights off a superplex through the ladder (fans: “PLEASE DON’T DIE!”) and superkicks Jay onto it instead for a HUGE crash.

Adam climbs the medium ladder but Jay is right back up and throwing Cole through the small ladder in the corner, badly bending it in the process. Briscoe is now bleeding from the back as well but is still able to put the champion down with a neckbreaker. Jay sets up another ladder bridge but the ladder is badly broken so it collapses as soon as Adam lays down on it. That’s fine with Jay as he tries a splash onto the mostly broken ladder but Cole moves, sending Jay crashing down.

The medium ladder is set up in the middle of the ring but Jay pelts another chair off the champion’s head to put him back down. They both climb up to fight on top but Jay knocks him off for a big crash. Cole is able to talk enough trash from the mat though that Jay drops down and hits the Jay Driller piledriver. He still won’t climb though and loads up a Conchairto onto the ladder, only to have Matt Hardy run in and hit a Twist of Fate to Jay on the floor.

Matt helps Cole climb but Mark Briscoe runs out, completely crippling a lot of the momentum this show had going for it. His neck was Pillmanized but here he is an hour and a half later? I don’t care how tough he is. Mark Briscoe shouldn’t be seen for AT LEAST two months after a spot like that. He puts Matt on the table but Mike Bennett comes out to shove the ladder over, sending Mark through the table.

Jay and Cole are alone in the ring and the Jay Driller puts Cole down again. A Jay Driller puts Bennett down as well and there’s a third to take out Matt Hardy. Cole and Jay climb at the same time but the champion wins a slugout and shoves him down. Jay tries one last climb but Cole pulls down the belts to retain.

Rating: B. This was a solid fight but the Mark Briscoe stuff really took me out of things. To be fair though I got to look at Maria a bit more when she came down with Bennett so I can’t complain too much. Jay looked like a soldier out there which is the right idea and Cole holding onto the title is the right choice at the end of the day. Good stuff here.

The heels pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a show where the parts don’t add up to the final total. As mentioned, the show just went on forever and it really started to drag around the TV Title match. It’s certainly entertaining and the last two matches brought things back up, but it didn’t really fire me up and make me want to see more ROH.

At the end of the day, it’s about the same take on ROH that I’ve always had: there’s good stuff here, but it’s not enough to make me want to keep coming back. Thankfully they cut WAY down on the no selling stuff (Mark Briscoe aside) but unfortunately they cranked up on the repetitive moves. From Jay Lethal trying Lethal Injection four times to seemingly EVERYONE using a spin kick to the head, I felt like I saw the same match several times tonight. If ROH was near me again and relatively cheap I’d go, but it’s not something I’m going out of my way to see.

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This was an actual surprise.Bobby Lashley returned to answer Ethan Carter III’s challenge.

Yes this is real.

 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2240046/?ref_=nv_sr_1

For you ROH fans out there, here’s a rare post about them.As you may have heard, ROH had yet another disaster when they tried to run an internet PPV with almost no one being able to see the feed.  From now on the shows will be available as video on demand the next day.

Also the Briscoe Brothers had a real life fight after the show on Saturday with Mark being sent home and Jay being sent home after the TV tapings.  Jay happens to be the reigning ROH World Champion so this is a major problem for the company.  It’s also pretty stupid considering Jay had a title defense at the tapings and retained the belt.

Smackdown
Date: September 4, 2009
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Todd Grisham

This is on the request list for one reason: Mysterio vs. Morrison. Mysterio had been wellnessed while still being the Intercontinental Champion, so a match was thrown together and was a match of the year candidate. Other than that I have no idea what’s coming here. We’re approaching Breaking Point which means Punk is about to defend the title against Undertaker. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Punk winning a loser leaves the WWE match against Jeff Hardy recently. This transitions into a pretty awesome career highlight reel for Hardy.

In a great opening, CM Punk comes out in a nearly perfect Jeff Hardy outfit to Jeff’s music and nailing Jeff’s mannerisms. The kids in the audience exploded when they heard Hardy’s music but once they figured it out they looked furious. Punk talks about how this is the last time you’ll ever see a trace of the Charismatic Enabler (great nickname) which is a good thing because the people that cheer for him are too weak to have Hardy around. Now they have a champion they can look up to and he’ll never fail a test or miss a show because of an incident.

This brings him around to the Undertaker because Punk is now an icon on Smackdown as well. He’s won back to back Money in the Bank ladder matches as well as sent Jeff Hardy packing. Punk says if Undertaker wants to come out here right now that’s cool with the champ. There’s no Taker so Punk runs down the Dead Man a bit before bashing the fans for being so easily lead to believe anything. At Breaking Point, it’s one on one and Punk has no breaking point, which is why he can’t lose.

Punk says he’s stronger than any alcohol and straighter than any line you can shoot up your nose. He does however have one vice, which we don’t get to hear because here’s Matt Hardy. Matt charges at Punk and the brawl is on quickly. Neither guy really gets an advantage so they break it up.

Taker is back tonight.

Punk yells at Teddy so Teddy makes Matt vs. Punk non-title tonight.

Finlay/Great Khali vs. Mike Knox/Kane

Kane is all psycho and evil here (no really) and has a Singapore Cane match coming up with Khali at the PPV. Finlay and Knox get us started with Finlay being dropped face first on the buckle. Kane misses the clothesline and it’s off to Khali, sending Kane running away. Khali puts the Vice Grip on Knox who bails to the floor. We take a break and come back with Khali clotheslining Kane down and chopping him in the corner.

Back to Finlay vs. Knox with Finlay hitting the running earthquake drop for two. Apparently Finlay is afraid of Knox for some reason. Finlay is sent shoulder first into the post and it’s off to Kane to work over the arm. Knox works on an armbar followed by a crossbody of all things for two. Back to Kane who gets low bridged by Finlay. Khali has to save his brother/manager Runjin Singh and in the distraction, Finlay hits Knox with the shillelagh for the pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t really work and was longer than it needed to be. Knox vs. Finlay was a feud but it was barely explained here. At least with Kane he’s naturally evil and therefore it’s easy to plug him into a story. Other than that there wasn’t much here and the match wasn’t that interesting as a result.

Vince comes in to see Teddy and it’s a plug for the Rise and Fall of WCW DVD. Vince talks about the title match between Punk and Taker and his jacket a bit. Not sure what the point of this was but that’s the case with most Vince segments.

Eve and Maria are in the back. Eve wants to beat up Natalya and Maria is overly perky. Michelle McCool comes in on crutches and makes fun of them, saying that Ziggler is going to dump Maria. Melina comes in and it’s a big argument that goes nowhere.

Intercontinental Title: John Morrison vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is defending. They shake hands and we’re ready to go. Both guys try fast rollups but it’s a standoff. They go to a test of strength grip and Mysterio fires some kicks to the legs, only to have Morrison get on top of him for some two counts. A headlock gives Morrison control on the mat as we’re still in the feeling out process so far.

Commentary goes away for a bit and comes back with Morrison rolling up Rey for two. Rey gets his first big move in and hits a rana to send both guys to the floor. They’re going in slow motion so far due to a lack of a reason for them to fight which is the constant problem you can have in a match like this. Back in and Mysterio charges into the corner and his shoulder CRACKS off the post. That sounded great. Or awful. I’m not sure which.

They finally speed things up with Rey snapping off a big headscissors to fire up the crowd and for two. Morrison starts making Mysterio miss him before getting kicked in the face and splashed for two. Rey hooks a chinlock to give both guys a chance to breathe. The fans seem to be far more behind Morrison which is kind of strange. Morrison fights up and hits a front flip into a dropkick for two in a sweet counter.

Standing shooting star gets two for Morrison before things speed up again and Rey is sent flying out to the floor. That gets two back inside as does a spinning legdrop from Morrison. We hit the chinlock again for a bit before Rey hits a pair of rollups for two. Morrison gets out of the 619 and they both try crossbodies at once.

We take a break and come back with both guys still down and Morrison getting two. Morrison puts on a bodyscissors which doesn’t get him anywhere. Rey sends him to the apron and out to the floor followed by another hurricanrana to the outside. A springboard legdrop gets two but the sitout bulldog is countered into a mat slam by Morrison for two. A running knee to the face of Rey gets two as does a spinning cross body from Mysterio.

Mysterio goes up but jumps into a dropkick which gets another near fall. Starship Pain misses and Rey hits the 619 out of nowhere. The springboard splash misses and the Flying Chuck (think Cody’s Disaster Kick) gets a very close two. John goes up and after countering a rana attempt, hits a middle rope Starship Pain for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. I haven’t seen this match before actually and the only thing I can think of to say is that’s it? It was good and the ending had some solid near falls, but if this was a match of the year candidate the this was one of the weakest years ever for wrestling. It was a good match and entertained me, but man this just didn’t fire me up other than once or twice near the end. I don’t get the hype here and I think it’s one of those situations where people confuse length of a match with the quality of the match.

Here comes R-Truth but Drew McIntyre jumps him. McIntyre says that he’s going to keep ruining our parties until he gets the respect he deserves.

Maria/Eve Torres vs. Layla/Natalya

Apparently this is the fallout from a six person tag last night where Eve had Natalya beaten but Tyson Kidd cost her the fall. Nattie and Maria start things off. I don’t know if it’s my thing for redheads or what but Maria has always been gorgeous. Layla distracts Maria and Nattie takes her head off with a clothesline to take over.

Off to Layla who hooks her reverse Tarantula and hits a shot to the back of Maria for two. The evil ones (Layla/Natalya) take turns beating up Maria until it’s finally off to Eve. She comes in and fires off some kicks before getting kicked in the face by Layla for two. Everything breaks down and eve hits a cartwheel into a moonsault to Layla for the pin.

Rating: C-. I say this a lot but it’s amazing how much more interesting the girls used to be like a year ago. I can’t quite put my finger on it but they come off as much stronger and more serious characters here instead of the girls today where they come off as cute and perky. The older ones come off as serious and tougher and more like wrestlers than Divas, which is a good thing.

Matt Hardy says he’s out for revenge tonight, rather than the world title or his soul.

CM Punk vs. Matt Hardy

Non-title here. Matt goes right after him and Punk bails to the floor almost immediately. Back in and Punk gets rammed into the buckle a few times and clotheslined down for no cover. This is Matt’s return match from an injury apparently. Punk gets the not too bright Matt to chase him around the ring and the champ gets in some shots, only to get caught in a swinging neckbreaker for no cover again. That makes sense as Matt is here for revenge, not a quick win.

The Side Effect is countered and Punk goes up, only to get superplexed back down. This has been almost all Matt so far. Punk drapes Matt over the top rope and knocks him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Matt caught in an abdominal stretch and Punk firing off kicks to the bad ribs. Off to a body vice followed by a whip into the corner for two. Punk fires off his strikes and the champ is in full control.

Matt tries to fight back but gets rammed into the buckle to slow him right back down again. Back to the abdominal stretch which is Punk trying to prove that he’s a master of submissions. Matt counters with a kind of Samoan Drop for two and avoids a charge, sending Punk’s shoulder into the post. A bulldog gets two for Matt as does a middle rope legdrop to the back of the head.

Twist of Fate is countered but Matt gets two off a small package instead. The high kick gets two for the champ and Punk is frustrated. Punk tries a springboard clothesline but gets caught in a Side Effect for two. They head to the floor and Matt jumps into a kick to the ribs to put Punk right back in control. Punk grabs a chair to blast Hardy in the ribs and back, which somehow doesn’t draw a DQ. Punk wraps the chair around Matt’s throat…..and the lights go out. The match ends here for all intents and purposes.

Rating: B-. I was getting into this at the end, even though you knew Taker would be involved somehow. To be fair though, the match could have ended before he showed up so it wasn’t a lock that it would end out in a no contest. Matt was game here and the story wrote itself given the issues with Jeff lately. Matt was always on the brink of jumping forward and then always started being crazy again.

Taker chokeslams Punk through the table to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. I was digging this show. We had two good matches, good looking women having a competent match where they looked like they knew what they were doing, a solid promo from the champions, and an entertaining show overall. It’s amazing how much better things are here when they take the show seriously and not as a Raw supplement. Good show and I enjoyed it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

This one should be a bit arguable.I’m going to go with the downward spirals of the Hardy Boys.  Jeff went from being a heel (seriously, WHO THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA???) to Victory Road and Matt made him look like a pillar of stability by comparison.  These two were at one point considered the future and now they’re running jokes.  And Jeff will be world champion by Mania.

 

Your picks/thoughts?

Unforgiven 2005
Date: September 18, 2005
Location: Ford Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is the return of the Unforgiven series and we have a match that people would be drooling over today in the main event: Cena vs. Angle for the title. The idea is simple: Cena is champ, Angle went on a tear as the best in the world and the question is can Cena beat him. Why we’re in Oklahoma City for a PPV is beyond me but I guess it’s a JR thing. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is exactly what you would expect: no one is forgiven, tonight we’re all unforgiven, whatever.

Intercontinental Title: Ric Flair vs. Carlito

They gave away the ending of this weeks in advance, talking about how this was the one title Flair had never won. Carlito spat apple on Flair to set this up. Feeling out process to start and Flair takes him over with a headlock. Coach and Lawler argue hair and Carlito struts a bit. Flair really likes that hammerlock as he’s used it three times now. DANG that was a loud chop.

Flair chops away some more and this really isn’t that entertaining of a match. Could it be that one of the people in it was born in the 40s? Carlito sends him to the floor and goes after the arm. The shoulder goes into the post on the floor as we’re told Flair left dinner last night at 9pm. Hey I need something to fill in this space. Back in the ring it’s more arm work and Carlito pounds away with left hands.

There’s the backdrop and Flair lands on his shoulder as always. Single arm DDT gets two. Flair fires back and drops the knee. There’s another LOUD chop and Flair goes up. Dude, seriously, you’re smarter than this. IT ACTUALLY WORKS!!! Flair hits the chop (JR calls it a clothesline for some reason) and the fans give him a standing ovation. That’s hilarious. Flair goes up again and gets caught in a dropkick to keep the universe from exploding. Carlito goes off and gets the apple and we get a unique ending. Flair punches Carlito, making him choke on the apple so that the Figure Four can give him the title.

Rating: C-. Not a horrible match here and the majority of it was fun, but Flair winning a title at 56 or however old he is here isn’t something I can really get behind. There are so many people that could have won it but instead we get a tribute to him for….what exactly? It’s not horrible but I really don’t get this decision at all.

Flair gives an acceptance speech. He says it means as much as any of the 16 world titles. He gets two plants out of the audience to party with him.

Carlito has nothing to say and Flair gets more women.

Lita is in the back with Edge and they talk about how long she was cheating on Matt. Sex is implied.

Torrie Wilson/Victoria vs. Ashley Massaro/Trish Stratus

Torrie and Victoria are in some stupid Diva heel stable with Candace Michelle who would hook up with Vince for like 5 minutes. Trish is returning from an injury that kept her out for five months. Naturally they let her keep the title that whole time. Ashley is making her PPV debut here and we start with Trish vs. Victoria which is easily the best possible pairing. Off to Ashley and things get bad quickly.

Torrie and Candace cheat and Victoria hits a slingshot legdrop. Thankfully we’re letting Trish get the hot tag later which is by far the best possible idea. Off to a chinlock for a bit and then it’s time for Torrie vs. Ashley, which I don’t think anyone wants to see. Well, no one under the age of 22 that is. The nice girls do the unseen tag thing and Victoria beats on Ashley a bit more. She goes up and gets crotched before it’s hot tag to Trish. Trish does her usual stuff but throws in a spinebuster to mix things up. The Chick Kick ends Victoria.

Rating: D-. Trish in shorts is always a good thing but the match was just worthless. Ashley just wasn’t any good but was here because someone thought she looked good or whatever. The match was nothing and I’m sure everyone knew that was going to be the case. The heel Diva team never did anything and again, I don’t think anyone expected them to do anything.

Flair, who hasn’t even had a shower, has a bottle of champagne and is getting into the limo with the girls. They get in but Flair stays behind and pulls out some pills, and yes…..Naitch has discovered Viagara.

ZZ Top is here.

Big Show vs. Snitsky

One of the dangers of doing these reviews is running into matches like this one with zero backstory at all. I’m really hoping we get an explanation here because I don’t think I’m going to be able to make myself care about it otherwise. Ok so apparently Snitsky jumped Show with the bell but we get cut off by a brawl so we have to stop the flashback. Show throws him around with ease so Snitsky tries to walk.

Show does the SHHH bit and Snitsky is in trouble. Well it worked well the first time so let’s do it again. Show’s charge into the post misses and he clotheslines the steel. We actually go to the flashback while Snitsky has a hold on Show. It’s an armlock so at least he’s thinking. Snitsky manages a belly to back suplex which was pretty impressive. It only gets two but still it looked good.

Snitsky can’t keep him down so he goes back to the arm because that’s worked so well thus far. Ok so that is actually good psychology but it’s a little boring, especially when we know Snitsky has about as much chance as I do of beating Big Show. Show grabs a spinebuster out of nowhere and both guys are down. Show NIPS UP (holding the rope but still) and I think you know what’s coming now. Splash in the corner sets up the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C. This was under seven minutes and that’s the best thing that could have happened to it. They just did power stuff and the arm worked helped it a little bit. It’s not a good match or anything but it could have been a lot worse, which is why the keeping it short was a great thing. Snitsky was pretty worthless after his debut feud with Kane though.

Show clocks Snitsky with the bell post match in a pretty heelish move. Then he does it again.

There’s steam on the windows of Flair’s limo.

We recap Masters vs. Michaels. Masters was new at this point and did the Masterlock Challenge and Michaels couldn’t break the hold.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Kerwin White

White is Chavo Guerrero who is a golfer and I kid you not, a guy that is very proud of being a middle class white guy. His theme song is about picket fences and soccer moms. He would soon get a caddy named Nick Nemeth who is currently known as Dolph Ziggler. Kerwin’s catchphrase during this period: “If it’s not White, it’s not right.” I mean….WOW. Also, I kid you not, he’s fighting Shelton because Shelton isn’t white. Are you starting to get why people weren’t thrilled with this era?

Shelton rips the sweater off White and the beating is on for the blonde Guerrero. Yes he’s blonde here. Nothing going on to start until Shelton misses a shot and White goes after the knee. Kerwin hooks what we would call the Brock Lock and we intentionally cut to Spanish commentary for some reason. More leg work gets a two count and a Chavo Sucks chant. White charges into a Samoan Drop and both guys are down.

A slugout is won by Shelton who gets two on a backbreaker. Shelton’s leg is ok enough to go up now but he gets crotched. Even the announcers point out how stupid going up there was. Kerwin hits a superplex for two. There’s a half crab to eat up a few seconds. Shelton rolls through into a catapult and White grabs the golf club (wasn’t this a PG show?) but walks into Shelton’s T-Bone Exploder suplex for the pin.

Rating: C-. Shelton was awesome at this point and was probably on the roll of his life but would get lazy and stuck in the midcard forever. Not bad here but the White gimmick was just freaking horrible. I have no idea who thought it was a good idea but they need to be dragged outside and put into that gimmick themselves. That’ll teach them.

Matt says mean things about Lita and recaps the feud with Edge. Matt and Lita dated in real life and she had a real life affair with Edge, setting up this feud. It’s pretty easily the high point of Matt’s singles career and this is probably his biggest match ever. He kept running in on Edge in the back and beat him up, even mentioning Ring of Honor on Raw once as he was being arrested.

A video says what I just said.

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

This is a cage match. You can win by pin, submission or escape. Edge is Mr. Money in the Bank at the moment. They lock it up to start and slug it out with Edge almost going into the cage. Edge takes over with right hands and this feels epic. He goes for the top of the cage quickly but Matt makes the save. Edge goes for the door but Matt takes him down and hooks a headlock. In a cage match?

Edge takes over with a bunch of right hands and Matt is in trouble. Another escape attempt fails and a clothesline puts Edge down. Twist of Fate is countered into the Edge-O-Matic for two. Escape attempt #4 in less than 5 minutes doesn’t work and Matt almost hits a Side Effect from the top rope. Instead Matt is shoved off and a missile dropkick puts Matt down. The idea is that in their previous match at Summerslam, Matt took so many shots to the head that he couldn’t continue.

Edge works on the back of the head and mocks Matt with the V.1 hand sign. Matt looks out of it but that’s a normal day for him so maybe there isn’t much to worry about. There’s a DDT and Matt is in trouble. Edge powerbombs him into the cage and then drops him on his back. This is domination at this point. There’s a Buckle Bomb and Matt looks like he ate some bad fish. Edge adds a big boot and Matt is looking a little dead.

Matt gets in a shot and tries for a quick escape, but gets caught in a top rope powerbomb to kill him even further. This has been a great beating so far. Edge crawls over for two and the fans are shocked. Matt tries whatever he can think of, this time in the form of biting the hands of Edge. Gee Matt I know you like eating but come on now. Matt drops him on the top buckle and dodges a spear, sending Edge into the middle rope. A Side Effect gets two.

Edge goes again but Matt saves one more time. Lita slides in the briefcase but Matt ducks and Edge is tied in the ropes. Matt GOES OFF and the fans erupt. There’s a slingshot into the cage and there’s a bulldog onto the case. Edge gets rammed into all four sides of the cage and is busted open. Lita tries to climb in and Matt shoves her off to the floor. The blood is flowing out of Edge.

Matt picks up the MITB case and goes up but Edge shoves the referee into Matt to crotch him. A spear puts Matt down and Edge climbs. Matt pops up and hits a HUGE Side Effect off the top to put them both down. Lita tries to get in with a chair but Jack Doan keeps her out. Matt covers but Lita comes in anyway and breaks things up.

With Edge down, Matt gets the big shot in on Lita with a Twist of Fate. Edge pops up with a spear for two and the place goes NUTS. Edge goes up but Matt makes the save. He climbs to the top and like a true Hardy, gets way too high and messes up his push while blaming everyone from his employer to his butcher for his problems.. Or he drops a leg on Edge from the top of the page to pin him. You pick which it really was.

Rating: A. Like I said, it’s Matt’s best match ever. By that I mean it’s his best match ever, not the best match he’s ever been in (translation: TLC 2 doesn’t count because it was a tag match). Great storytelling here but it still wasn’t the blowoff as they had a ladder match on Raw that Edge won to send Matt to Smackdown. If this had ended it though, Matt would have been a world title contender.

Cena is getting taped up when Bischoff, Angle’s boss/whatever, comes up and says Angle will win tonight. The idea was Eric kept trying to find his guy to screw Cena over while WWE tried to find a way to recreate Austin vs. McMahon. Cena tapes Eric’s mouth shut.

Edge tries to stagger out but can’t quite do it.

Raw Tag Titles: Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Rosey/The Hurricane

Earlier today the southern boys say they’ve beaten the champions before and they’ll do it again. Cade and Murdoch are a brand new team, forming like ten days before this. Naturally they’re the #1 contenders. You can see a bunch of fans going to get popcorn during this one. Hurricane vs. Cade gets us going and the champs clear the ring quickly. Hurricane headscissors Murdoch to the floor as we talk about country music.

Hurricane hits a missile dropkick and it’s off to Rosey. Lawler points out the stupidity of having a place that loves country music asked to boo a pair of country boys. Cade takes over on Rosey as Murdoch goes to hit on Lillian. Well to her credit she looks great tonight. Hurricane saves her but Murdoch gets a SICK elevated DDT to the floor on storm boy.

Rosey takes over but misses a splash in the corner to put him down. We finally get a trainer down here as the match falls apart. Cade cheats some on the floor as Hurricane is carried out. Like an idiot he comes back and tags in, only to get clotheslined a few seconds later for the pin.

Rating: D. Isn’t this what Raw is for? The tag titles were far less valuable back then than they are now and the country boys would break up like a month later. This was nothing but that DDT on the floor looked great. This was probably better than most tag title matches around this time, but it was still terribly uninteresting which might as well be printed on the belts.

The girls get out of the limo in Flair’s robe. She flashes him and gets back in.

Maria can’t get Chris Masters’ name right but he says it’s because he looks like something made by Michaelangelo. And yes, that draws a rendition of the TMNT theme song from her.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Masters

Masters is undefeated here. Shawn does his in ring entrance but Masters grabs him in the Masterlock (full nelson) before the bell rings. See, why don’t more people get that idea? The bell rings and Shawn counters this time. Shawn takes over and dives to the floor, hitting a bunch of right hands after a plancha connects. Masters is sent into the steps as the idea is he’s shaken up from never being tested before.

Shawn grabs a chair but gets it taken away, allowing Masters to get a shot in to take over. Masters is put into a powerbomb position and rammed back first into the post twice. Back in the ring Masters takes over and drops a leg for two. A delayed vertical gets two. Michaels can’t get anything going because of his back and the power of Masters. Off to a backbreaker but Masters holds Shawn over the knee for a submission attempt.

Shawn tries a crucifix but Masters counters into a full nelson attempt. Instead here’s a torture rack and the referee goes old school by checking the arm. Shawn counters into a sunset flip for two. Masters is bleeding from the nose. Here’s the Masterlock but Shawn goes rudo and kicks Masters low while he’s got the referee distracted. A slugout is won by HBK and there’s the forearm (called the Flying Burrito by JR) followed by the nipup.

The top rope elbow hits and it’s time to stomp the mat loudly to let my opponent know that his finisher is coming. Like clockwork Masters ducks and hooks the Masterlock. Shawn fights to the corner and gets over the top rope somehow, forcing a break. Masters tries the hold again but Shawn escapes and there’s the superkick for the pin. Shawn collapsing after getting the pin is always a nice touch.

Rating: B. Good stuff here as Shawn does his usual stuff but still pulls out a good match. He knew timing, which is what so many wrestlers have no clue about. He knew how to make his comebacks mean stuff and played everything to perfection. Good stuff which you never see from most young guys because it’s not important to learn in the eyes of the trainers today.

Flair gets out of the limo with his tights half down. He tilts his head back for the WOO and collapses in a Flair Flop. Funny stuff.

We recap Auscena vs. McBischoff. Cena had already beaten Jericho to get rid of him so Bischoff brought in Angle next. Angle destroyed Cena time after time and this is the big showdown.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Cena has a bad ankle coming into this. Angle takes over to start but Cena grabs a hip toss to send Angle to the floor. Angle takes it to the mat which is exactly what you would expect. Off to a headlock to fill in some time. Kurt bails again and the fans are getting into this. Back in Cena gets a slam and two elbows for two. Sidewalk slam gets two. Angle wakes up and snaps off a release German to take over.

There’s a camel clutch by Angle but Cena fights out and gets most of a sunset flip for two. Angle grabs a belly to belly and Cena is in trouble. Kurt goes with a waistlock and then a body scissors to work over the ribs. A DDT gets Cena out of it and both guys are down. They slug it out which is won by Cena. That makes sense as they’ve been pushing the fighter vs. the wrestler here.

A suplex gets two for the champ. Angle rolls through the FU into the ankle lock but Cena rolls through into a spinebuster for two. The FU is countered into a belly to back suplex but it’s called the Angle Slam because Kurt spun about 80 degrees. That gets two and it’s time for the ankle lock. Cena rolls through again and there’s the ProtoBomb. The Shuffle gets two.

Angle gets sent into the referee and the FU gets no count as a result. Kurt kicks Cena low and hits Cena with the medal. Instead of covering he hits Cena in the ankle with the gold and hooks the ankle lock as Eric comes out. Eric puts the title in Cena’s face and Cena gets to a rope because he’s kind of stupid at this point. Anyway Cena rolls through and sends Angle into Eric as Eric is about to call for the bell. Cena clocks Angle with the belt and it’s a DQ win for Kurt. Weak.

Rating: B-. The match was ok but the ending hurt it. Also at this point Cena just wasn’t ready for a match this big. He was really young and he just wasn’t good enough to hang with a guy like Angle yet. In a year or so he would be but at this point it just wasn’t there yet. The ending hut it a lot too as it was weak. Kurt vs. Cena would happen two more times with Cena finally winning the feud at Survivor Series.

Post match Eric says it doesn’t matter what the rules says because…and there’s an FU as Cena shrugs off being in the ankle lock for about two minutes. Angle attacks Cena but Cena gets the better of it and puts Angle through the table with an FU.

Overall Rating: B-. Nice surprise here as these B shows are usually awful. We got a good show out of it though with a great cage match and some other good stuff. A lot of it is your usual dreck on these single branded shows though so if you watch it, make sure you have a remote in your hand to skip some of the really dull stuff, of which there’s a good deal. The big matches are good though, which is all you can ask for.

 

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Impact
Date: April 21, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: Two Horses for Sister Karen

We’re past Lockdown now which means we can move on from some of the stuff we had been building to.  Sting is still world champion and AJ is back.  Not a lot really changed at the PPV which is kind of odd but it is what it is.  Anyway, tonight we begin the road to Sacrifice which doesn’t quite have the same ring to it as Road to Lockdown.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Lockdown including all three major matches.  Jarrett vs. Angle resulted in multiple injuries.  Why do I have a feeling this feud is going to continue?  Karen says it’s over.  We also recap Lethal Lockdown with AJ’s return after…..17 days of being gone.  Also Sting wants to fight Hogan.

Cue AJ to open the show, repelling down from the ceiling into a cage full of weapons.  He talks about Bully Ray and his big return at Lockdown.  The only reason AJ was there was to get his revenge but he’s not done.  He wants Ray in the cage tonight.  AJ rips off his shirt and is ready to fight.  Here’s Ray for his reply.

Ray talks about putting AJ in a hospital for a month.  Uh….not quite.  Ray says that he’ll do it again and do it even worse this time.  Then he’ll go AJ’s house and take care of his wife and kids.  The wife part doesn’t sound that bad apparently.  AJ is waiting in the ring instead of going after Ray for some reason, perhaps due to not wanting to be jumped by Immortal.  Rey comes to the cage but stops early.  Ray has nothing left to prove since he’s already taken AJ out once.

He turns to leave but Daniels jumps the Bully in the aisle.  Daniels throws Ray into the cage and the beatdown is on.  Ray is sent into the cage a few times and takes a Pele to put him down.  Big trashcan shot to the head and Ray is down.  Gunner comes out to try to make the save but is picked off by Daniels.  They fight up the ramp and AJ puts Ray on the table.  Is the rest of Immortal just busy or something?  Ray has a BIG knot on his forehead.  With Ray on the table, AJ goes to the top of the cage, only for Ray to get off the table and head out the door.

We recap Lethal Lockdown and are told that Flair had a torn rotator cuff due to the armbar by Roode.  He’s been hurt for awhile so that’s the angle to get him off TV.  That’s probably the best thing for him really.

Rob Terry and Murphy come out to the cage and run off the guys clearing out the weapons.  They’re here to get payback on Beer Money for hurting Flair so they’re going to take the tag titles right now.  Beer Money comes out and says cool.  The match starts after the break.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Murphy/Rob Terry

 

The match has started during the break apparently as Roode is in trouble when we come back.  Terry gets a World’s Strongest Slam for two.  There are weapons hanging around the ring as well.  Off to Murphy who works on the back a bit more.  Terry sends him into the cage and a clothesline gets two.  Roode finally gets in a shot and both guys are down.

Hot tag to Storm who hammers away on both guys.  Codebreaker takes Murphy down as does a DDT and superkick to Terry.  Everything breaks down and the AA Spinebuster to Terry puts him down.  Double suplex to Murphy and it’s time for a double taunt.  DWI ends Terry at 4:03 shown.

Rating: C-. Run of the mill throwaway tag match here but Beer Money looked good.  It also advances Immortal vs. Fourtune which helps a bit.  Beer Money is in desperate need of challengers at this point and with various teams being dismantled they need to find some new ones very quickly.

The Jarretts take a carriage ride and Jeff praises Karen a lot.  It’s her night apparently.  Since Jeff is King of the Mountain, she gets crowned Queen of the Mountain tonight.  This is going to trump the royal wedding apparently.  We look at the horses which I guess is what the episode title is referencing.

Hogan is on his way to the ring, pipe in hand.

Here’s Hogan after a break.  He says he’s awesome and wants RVD here now.  Hogan says everyone knows RVD is a few fries short of a Happy Meal.  Not quite as 90s as bad mamma jamma but close.  RVD asks if Hogan remembers the time before he was a heel.  He turned his back on everyone for ratings though.  Hogan says nothing has changed and RVD says now everyone wishes Hogan would just go away.

RVD says he accomplished everything he’s accomplished with respect.  I’m not touching that one.  A leg drop isn’t enough anymore because things have changed, but RVD won’t.  Hogan says RVD has always been a big fish in a small pond.  Uh….what?  As long as Hogan is around, RVD will only be in the midcard apparently.

Cue Sting who says he invited himself.  RVD is a main eventer apparently because he’ll be in the main event at Sacrifice thanks to the Network.  Hogan: “Are you high too Stinger?  Because if you are give me some!”  Apparently the Network says that Sting gets to pick his opponents now.  Hogan says he runs the show but Sting says the executives are coming soon.  Hogan says RVD has a problem tonight against Abyss with Hogan in Abyss’ corner.  Also Sting vs. Matt Hardy as a chance for revenge for Matt’s brother.  No word on if the main event is a title match.

Kurt is looking for the Jarretts and someone saw them in the parking lot.

Madison and Tara argue in the back because it’s apparently Tara’s fault Madison lost the title.  There’s a Knockouts Tag Title match tonight also.

Eric is feeding the horses which he names Mongo and Sid, apparently the best Horsemen of all time.  I give up.  Young is feeding them beans.  Angle says go get some buckets.  Kurt has evil ideas about buckets apparently.

Knockouts Tag Titles: Sarita/Rosita vs. Madison Rayne/Tara

 

Matt vs. Sting is for the title apparently.  Mexican America looks like they want to let the flag come down but it doesn’t show up.  Anarquia runs down America a bit.  Ah there’s the flag.  The match starts after the break.  Just like earlier we come back with the match in progress.  Tara slaps Madison on the arm to tag her and they almost come to blows.  Sarita dances and hits a dropkick.

Madison slams her into the mat and adds a big boot so she can yell at both chicks again.  Now she yells at Tara.  Some of you might be noticing a pattern here.  The guys distract the referee so Rosita can throw Madison into a clothesline to end this at 1:54 shown.  Yes, Madison kept the Knockout Title for 6 months and here she loses to a clothesline.  Too short to grade.

Time for Karen to be crowned.  Jeff talks about how awesome Karen is for awhile.  They’re both in pure white too.  She’s officially the Queen of the Mountain.  And of course there’s manure in the crown.  Kurt comes out and hits an Angle Slam on Jarrett to a chair.  Angle says he has a mistress that will hurt Karen for him and she’ll be here soon.

Hogan gives Abyss a pep talk in the back.  Hogan goes over to Anderson and asks if Anderson knows who the Network person is.  Anderson makes fun of Hogan, saying that this has to be a rib.  Hogan says Anderson is the only person that he hates in wrestling and he hates being in the same room with him.  Then why does Hogan keep going to talk to him?  Hogan says if this was about 10 years ago this would end differently for Anderson.  Anderson says he’s bored so he has to go annoy someone else.

Back and we recap what we just saw.  The manure came from the ceiling, not out of the crown.  I thought there was a lot of it to fit in the crown.

Abyss vs. Rob Van Dam

 

They start the brawl almost immediately and Abyss goes down.  Big boot puts RVD down and we hit the neck crank almost immediately.  This is far more of a brawl than a match which is what it should be.  RVD lands a kick which apparently knocked out two of Abyss’ teeth.  RVD makes his comeback and Hogan distracts the referee.  It’s a ruse though for him to slide the pipe in to Abyss who pops Van Dam in the ribs with it.  Black Hole Slam ends this at 3:51.

Rating: C. Just a quick match here to set up the post match stuff.  I believe this is the first time since the attack with Janice in the fall/summer of last year but I’m not sure.  Either way, nothing too bad here but it was way too short to be great.  Granted if it hadn’t been we couldn’t have shown Karen having horse manure dropped on her head again so they clearly made the right choice.

Hogan and Abyss set to attack RVD but Crimson makes the save.

Sting says he can’t wait to wrestle because that’s what he does.

Matt has Jeff’s title belt and we reference him a bit.  Matt is COLD BLOODED!

Here’s Matt Morgan to talk about wanting the world title.  He’s tired of waiting and wants the title right now.  Cue Scott Steiner of all people.  He talks about Morgan being the DNA of TNA.  If Steiner had Morgan’s DNA he’d kill himself then hang himself.  The line for world title shots starts behind Steiner apparently.  Steiner says Morgan is beneath him, just like Morgan’s girlfriend was last night.

Morgan says Steiner was an inspiration to him and talks about Steiner bringing athleticism back to this art form.  Don’t misinterpret the respect for weakness though because there’s nothing weak on him.  They make the obvious match.  They shake hands and Steiner kicks him low.  Steiner Recliner goes on and Morgan is left laying.

Tessmacher is back.  Ok then.

Velvet and Winter have their usual moment of the week.  Velvet is going to go to the authorities with this.  Angelina destroys her.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Sting

 

Matt has Jeff’s world title, making it the third world title belt currently being worn by someone in TNA.  Immortal is waiting on Sting in the aisle but Fourtune runs out for the save.  Sting never got touched if that’s not clear.  As Sting gets in the ring, Gunner gets a shot to the knee with a pipe.  Matt takes over on a one legged Sting and a second rope leg drop gets two.

Moonsault misses though as Sting manages to roll out of the way.  Scorpion is attempted but Matt kicks him off at the last second so he can go after the knee again.  Chop block gets two.  We take a break with Sting avoiding an elbow drop.  Back with Matt working over Sting who is in the t-shirt again this week.  The injured leg has changed to the right one now but I guess left and right is hard to keep track of.  Back to the left one now.  Sting makes a comeback but misses the Splash.  Hot shot into snake eyes sets up the Scorpion Death Drop to keep Sting’s title at 9:30 total.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match here for the most part as Matt was just a midcard guy getting a title shot.  I like that actually as it allows you to have both guys lose nothing.  Sting beats a guy he’s supposed to beat and Matt loses nothing because he shouldn’t beat Sting.  The leg work stuff was fine too as it added a little story to the match.  Not bad at all here which was a nice surprise.

Anderson comes out and hits Mic Checks on both guys, saying to Sting that he’s not going away yet.

Karen FREAKS over the Angle thing and yells at Jeff even though he can barely move.  Jeff wants to know how many times he has to beat Angle.  Karen is REALLY annoying here, which she’s supposed to be.

Hogan says Anderson is done.  He says the Network is coming at him like a double fisted kangaroo.  Has he been chilling with JR or something?

Anderson says they had that coming to them.

Sting says who cares about whatever happens as all that matters is what Anderson did.  He wants revenge.

Overall Rating: C. I liked this again for the most part.  They were kind of in a holding pattern here which is perfectly fine.  Something that you notice about TNA is that there are a lot of people that miss the show some weeks because of a lack of time to fit everyone in, such as Mickie, Pope and Joe.  That’s not a bad thing as they do what they have to do with just two hours a week but it’s something that becomes a bit of an issue as it can get hard to keep up with stories.

No Bischoff this week which helped a lot.  Too many authority figures hurts things a lot and that’s a problem TNA needs to address.  You have Hogan, Bischoff and the Network plus various people making matches at a whim it seems.  Sting vs. Van Dam is fine for a PPV main event and it helps a lot here to see a random world title match that made a bit of sense.  More wrestling please though.

Results

Beer Money b. Rob Terry/Murphy – DWI to Terry

Rosita/Sarita b. Madison Rayne/Tara – Clothesline to Rayne

Abyss b. Rob Van Dam – Black Hole Slam

Sting b. Matt Hardy – Scorpion Death Drop