Monday Night Raw
Date: July 14, 2008
Location: RBC Center, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Somehow it’s been about three months since I’ve done one of these. It’s the last Raw before the Great American Bash and the big match on the Raw side will see Batista challenging CM Punk for the World Title. Other than that, JBL continues to think he runs the show and it’s still not quite interesting. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week, with Batista becoming the #1 contender for CM Punk’s World Title. Then Kane snapped and went all evil (again), this time attacking Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole.

Shane and Stephanie McMahon want us to all pull together to get through the times without Vince McMahon around. If things don’t get better, actions will be taken.

We go to the arena where Shawn Michaels is attacking Chris Jericho before Jericho can say anything. Lance Cade runs in for the save to get Jericho out of harm’s way.

With the three of them gone, here is Kane, complete with a small bag. Kane leans over the commentary table and says he’s sorry as the fans chant for Lawler. Then Kane walks off without getting physical.

In the back, Shawn Michaels has attacked Chris Jericho again and it has to be broken up.

Mickie James vs. Katie Lea

Non-title and Paul Burchill is here with Katie. Mickie grabs some early rollups for two each but the hurricanrana out of the corner is blocked. Katie pulls her around by the hair for two and we hit the reverse chinlock. We’ll make that a regular chinlock but Mickie is right back up. Mickie’s tornado DDT is blocked but now the hurricanrana works. The top rope Thesz press puts Katie away.

Rating: C-. Katie’s time seems to have come and gone, which is a shame as there is always the place for a British villain. Mickie is in need of some fresh challengers as she has been champion for awhile and no one seems to be giving her a threat. Granted that is likely to wind up being Beth Phoenix, as there isn’t anyone else who feels like they are on Mickie’s level.

Post match Paul and Katie go after Mickie until Kofi Kingston makes the save. It would have been rude for him not to make a save after Paul looked over his shoulder that many times.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Paul Burchill

Kingston is defending, the women are still here and we’re joined in progress with Kingston hitting a jumping elbow. A small package gives Kingston two before he grabs an armbar. An armdrag sets up another armbar as they’ve certainly slowed down a bit. Back up and Kofi’s dropkick gets two and it’s right back to the armbar.

Burchill fights up again and kicks him out of the corner for two, setting up a waistlock. A gutbuster and backsplash give Burchill two but Kingston fights out of another waistlock. Kingston’s Russian legsweep sets up the Boom Drop but here is Katie on the apron. That’s broken up by Mickie and Trouble In Paradise retains the title.

Rating: C. This was mostly armbars and waistlocks, which didn’t exactly make for an entertaining match. Other than that it was Kingston beating someone who didn’t feel like much of a threat. That being said, Kingston needs to pile up some wins to make himself feel more like a champion so giving him another win helps as much as anything else.

Santino Marella tells Matt Striker about his open challenge tonight. Cue Kane to ask about CM Punk. Santino: “Did you try the Pepsi machine?”

Post break Kane goes up to CM Punk, saying deep down inside, he knows someone is dead. Punk doesn’t know what is going on but Kane wants him tonight, one on one. Punk isn’t sure but Kane says this isn’t about the title. As usual, Punk is down for a challenge and the match is on. Punk asks about the bag Kane is carrying but Kane clutches it closer and leaves without saying anything.

A serious John Cena talks about how Vince McMahon is not here and he is trying to keep a good face on. Then JBL challenged him to a New York City Parking Lot Brawl and Cena can’t smile anymore. For those of you who don’t know what it’s about, it’s a war instead of a match. The two of them will be fighting in a circle of cars in a parking lot and anything goes. It’s about breaking bones and ripping flesh and we will find out if a man’s pride will fold. The question is why Cena would accept such a challenge but the reality is he and JBL don’t like each other.

Cena is down for one more fight at the Great American Bash because JBL considers himself a great American, which makes Cena sick. He’s happy to try to break some of JBL’s bones and send the face of a great American through every window he can find. Cena wants to see some real fear from JBL because this isn’t a fight with some pretty boy. Extreme violence is promised and here is Cryme Tyme to stand beside Cena, who accepts the challenge. As for tonight, let’s make it a six man with JBL finding any two partners he can.

Santino Marella vs. ???

It’s open challenge time and here is….Beth Phoenix to answer. They fight over a lockup to start until Beth shows him a double bicep. Beth takes him down and hammers away before easily powering out of a headlock. A slam gives Beth two but Santino shouts about being a man, only to miss a charge into the corner. That’s enough for Beth to grab a rollup for the fast pin, leaving Santino rather flummoxed.

Here is Kelly Kelly for a match but Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase interrupt. They know she has a match tonight….but they don’t care so she can leave. Cody talks about how the two of them have gotten a lot of unfair criticisms but they’re not bad guys. They’re just better than their fathers. When you’re this talented, you don’t need to pay dues. Imagine what happens when they enter their primes.

Cue Jim Duggan of all people to interrupt, saying he knows their dads. They’re old school, just like him. The difference is the old school people respected the generations that paved the way for them. DiBiase and Rhodes are better athletes, but they have a lot of growing up to do. Cody says Duggan might be on to something but Cody calls out Duggan for being 54 years old and trying to relive some glory days which weren’t that glorious in the first place.

DiBiase asks if Duggan thinks he still has what it takes anymore, when he’s really just here looking for a reaction. Duggan is the one who needs to grow up, and the two of them leave. JBL pops up on the screen to say they have earned the right to team with him in the main event. They’re in.

CM Punk vs. Kane

Non-title. Kane chokes him into the corner to start but Punk kicks his way to freedom. Punk manages to kick him out to the floor, where Kane cuts off a slide to take over again. The basement dropkick gives Kane two and we hit the cravate. We’ll make that a chinlock until Punk fights up and strikes away. A series of kicks sends Kane into the corner but the bulldog out of it is broken up. Instead Punk hits a heck of a kick to the head for one and a high crossbody gets two. Kane knocks him outside where Punk grabs a bulldog, which is enough to beat the count for the win.

Rating: C+. That was about as good of a way out as they had as Kane is the new monster and Punk is the new champion so there was only so much they could have done. At the same time it might have been better to not make the match in the first place, but at least Punk didn’t lose. Punk is always going to fight from behind and winning by countout is about as good as he can get in this spot.

Post match Kane throws in a bunch of chairs and wraps one around Punk’s neck but Batista makes the save. Batista helps Punk up so Punk offers him a handshake, but Batista wants the title. Batista gives him a not so nice slap on the face so Punk shoves, earning himself a spinebuster.

We look back at John Cena and Cryme Tyme destroying JBL’s limo last week.

Chris Jericho vs. Paul London

Lance Cade is here with Jericho, who pounds London into the corner and hits a running boot to the head. London gets sent outside in a heap before Jericho chokes on the ropes back inside. A spinwheel kick gives London a breather but he misses a high crossbody. Jericho hits a butterfly backbreaker and calls out Shawn Michaels before grabbing the Liontamer for the fast tap.

Post match Jericho says London can take that loss like he would and learn from it, or take it like Shawn Michaels and do nothing. Cue Shawn to say nothing will change between them and teasing more violence.

Jamie Noble hits on Layla, suggesting that they can be the Raw power couple. Layla says she doesn’t date short men but Noble says he’s way above average in the ring. Noble offers to jump the next guy who comes through here so cue Snitsky to tell him to be quiet. Layla isn’t impressed so Noble stands up to Snitsky. Even Layla realizes this is stupid as Noble calls Snitsky out to the ring. They wind up in said ring and a pumphandle slam leaves Noble laying.

We get the Shane/Stephanie McMahon plea for unity from earlier tonight.

Great American Bash rundown.

John Bradshaw Layfield/Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase vs. John Cena/Cryme Tyme

Cena and Rhodes start things off with Cena slugging him into a corner but glaring at JBL. The release fisherman’s suplex drops Cody Rhodes again, setting up another glare. Shad comes in for a release butterfly suplex to DiBiase so it’s back to Rhodes to kick away at JTG. Rhodes makes the mistake of telling JTG to shine his shoes and gets taken down with a Sling Blade for his troubles.

JBL comes in and is smart enough to taunt Cena in, meaning we get some double choking in the corner. JTG’s comeback is cut off by a dropkick to the knee and the villains get to take over on said knee. The leglock goes on and we take a break with JTG in more trouble. Back with JBL hitting a hard clothesline and the slow beating continuing.

Rhodes goes old school with a spinning toehold until JTG kicks him away, which still isn’t enough to get over for the tag. JTG finally gets away and brings Cena back in to pick the pace way up. JBL bails and it’s an FU to DiBiase into the Throwback to Rhodes. Cena’s top rope Fameasser hits Rhodes but JBL is back to break up the STFU…for the DQ. That’s a pretty lame reason for a DQ but sure enough. Even Lawler doesn’t seem sure why that was a DQ.

Rating: C-. This was slow and not exactly good, with the ending feeling like a rather pitiful way out. It’s not a good sign when commentary is confused about what happened, even when it should have been pretty clear. I get that you don’t want a champion jobbing, but JBL couldn’t have used a chair or something a little more violent? Other than that, it was a rather long heat segment on JTG and that wasn’t the most thrilling way to go.

Post match JBL walks off and taunts Cena to follow him to the back. Cena gives chase and realizes he has to go into the parking lot (where a camera happens to be waiting). Then he stands around a lot in total silence until JBL finally jumps him from behind with something metal. JBL sits the unconscious Cena in front of a car and crushes him, then gets out and realizes what he’s done to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I wasn’t quite thrilled with this show as the focus was on Cena vs. JBL, which hasn’t been an interesting feud in a long time. The World Champion feels like a third wheel behind the battling John’s and Shawn vs. Jericho. There is some good stuff going on closer to the top of the card, but my goodness the lower part of the show isn’t exactly holding the rest of it up.

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Survivor Series 2007
Date: November 18, 2007
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz, Joey Styles

It is pretty rare when you have a true one match card but that is what we have here, as Batista is defending the Smackdown World Title against the Undertaker inside the Cell. There might be a few other things going on here, but that has been treated as the be all and end all of the show, as it should be. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the history of the Survivor Series before we move on to this year’s preview.

ECW World Title: Miz vs. John Morrison vs. CM Punk

Punk is defending and for the sake of sanity, I’ll only refer to him as champion. It’s a brawl to start with Punk getting double teamed down into the corner. Morrison catapults Punk into the corner but he comes out with a middle rope crossbody. Punk knocks Miz to the floor but the springboard clothesline is broken up to put Punk down again. Miz breaks up Punk’s springboard with a shot to the floor though and it’s a camel clutch to Punk.

That means Morrison comes in for the save, setting up a backbreaker into a neckbreaker to drop Punk again. A suplex from the apron gets two on Miz but he is right back with a running corner clothesline. Punk is back in with a hurricanrana to send Morrison into Miz for a powerbomb and a near fall. The running knee in the corner sets up the corner bulldog to give Punk two on Miz and a double underhook backbreaker onto the knee gets the same. Morrison is back up to go after Miz, only to be sent outside. That leaves Punk to GTS Miz and retain.

Rating: C+. Miz and Morrison’s rise continues as the two of them have become rather dependable on ECW, and now elsewhere. It makes sense to give them the Tag Team Titles and now we should be seeing even more of them. This was a good way to get the show going as Punk has to work to retain and Miz and Morrison have come far enough that they didn’t seem like cannon fodder.

We look at MVP turning on Matt Hardy, costing the two of them the Tag Team Titles.

MVP says Matt will not be wrestling tonight because he can’t walk. He is tired of being Matt’s latest crutch and he is better than any of his opponents tonight.

Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Layla/Victoria vs. Kelly Kelly/Michelle McCool/Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson

One fall to a finish rather than elimination rules. Michelle suplexes Victoria to start and then kicks her in the face for two. Torrie comes in and gets swung into the side slam, only to come back with a suplex. It’s off to Jillian vs. Kelly, with the latter grabbing a rollup for two of her own. Phoenix comes in and plants Maria but a missed charge allows the hot tag to James to clean house. Everything breaks down and Mickie hits the Long Kiss Goodnight to finish Melina.

Rating: D+. What else were you expecting here? It was a bunch of the good women vs. the bad women and there is only so much you’re going to get from a match like that. They didn’t have time to do anything and given some of the skill levels of the women involved, that is not a bad idea. The positive sign is that the women are making progress, but a lot of them still aren’t ready to be in a match like this. Leave this thing to Raw.

William Regal and Coach are ready to see Hornswoggle get crushed by Great Khali.

Randy Orton is ready to disappoint everyone and break the Heart Break Kid.

Shawn Michaels wants revenge. And the title.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes

Holly and Rhodes are challenging. Rhodes and Cade start things off with Cade grabbing a hiptoss for some early celebrating. A sunset flip gives Cody one and the headlock goes on. That just earns Cody a backbreaker to cut him off so it’s off to Murdoch for a change. Cody takes him into the corner and it’s Holly coming in to forearm away. The hanging kick to the low abdomen has Cade in trouble and the champs need a breather on the floor.

Back in and it’s an atomic drop into a running boot to Holly’s face as Murdoch takes over again. Cade atomic drops Murdoch into a legdrop on Cody for two more and we’re off to the chinlock. Holly suplexes his way out of trouble but Cade is right there with a clothesline. The second atomic drop/legdrop misses though and it’s Cody coming in to very little reaction to clean house. Everything breaks down and Murdoch Code Reds Cody to retain.

Rating: C-. This would have been fine on any given Raw, meaning it was a pretty disappointing pay per view match. Cade and Murdoch are fine as champions and Rhodes and Holly are getting there as a veteran/rookie team, but they aren’t ready for this kind of a match on pay per view. It was far from bad, but this match was sent out there to die and I think WWE knew that was going to happen.

Team HHH, which is down a man due to Matt Hardy’s knee injury, is ready for Team Umaga. Rey Mysterio talks about being an underdog, but that has never been Kane’s thing. Kane brings up the Katie Vick incident (and goes into details). Then Jeff Hardy reminds HHH of the time he put Jeff in the hospital. HHH: “Uh, my bad.” HHH says this is the night when they can come together and do something terrible, so let’s go do it.

Team Umaga vs. Team HHH

Umaga, Mr. Kennedy, Finlay, Big Daddy V, MVP
HHH, Jeff Hardy, Kane, Rey Mysterio

Matt Striker is here with Big Daddy V. Rey and Kennedy get things going and it’s an early exchange of arm cranking. A running headscissors takes Kennedy down and a Code Red gives Rey two (so based on the previous match, Trevor Murdoch is better at Code Redding than Rey Mysterio). Hardy comes in and gets blasted by Kennedy so MVP comes in for a front facelock.

It’s off to V and the big beatdown ensues, only to have Hardy dive over for the tag to Kane. V belly to belly suplexes him down but Kane is right back up with a top rope clothesline. That doesn’t seem to bother V though as he hits a pair of drops (Samoan and elbow) for the elimination. HHH comes in to slug away on V but a clothesline puts him straight down. Umaga comes in with a belly to belly of his own but misses the middle rope headbutt.

That means Rey can come back in and the basement dropkick gets a quick two. The 619 into the springboard seated senton for two more but the springboard crossbody is countered into a wicked release Rock Bottom. The Samoan Spike gets rid of Rey and it’s 5-2. Kennedy tags himself in for some reason and misses a charge into the corner. Hardy misses the slingshot dropkick in the corner though and it’s MVP coming in with a chinlock. MVP misses a running kick though and the Twist of Fate gives Hardy a fast elimination.

HHH comes back in for a clothesline on Kennedy and the spinebuster follows. V comes in for the save but elbows Kennedy by mistake, allowing HHH to steal the pin. That doesn’t work for V, who pulls HHH outside and posts Hardy for a bonus. Back in and a double DDT plants V and HHH evens it up at 2-2.

Finlay starts dropping elbows on HHH before dropping some elbows on HHH. Back up and HHH makes it over for the tag without much effort and Hardy comes in with the slingshot dropkick in the corner. The Whisper in the Wind hit Finlay and the mule kick hits Umaga, allowing HHH to come back in. There’s the spinebuster to Finlay and the Pedigree leaves us with HHH/Hardy vs. Umaga. HHH avoids the running hip attack in the corner and it’s the Pedigree into the Swanton for the final pin.

Rating: B-. Not one of the all time classic Survivor Series matches but they set up HHH and Hardy as a pair of buzzsaws to run through the rest of the team. The HHH vs. Umaga feud has been pretty much decided multiple times now so the ending wasn’t exactly in doubt. This was more or less the Raw main event and it could have been worse, but I could have gone for a lot better for the one elimination match on the show.

We get a preview of Batista vs. Undertaker with a look at their Cell match in Smackdown vs. Raw 2008. Why Batista is wearing a Tag Team Title to the ring isn’t clear.

Vince McMahon sits down with Hornswoggle to explain why he made the match with Great Khali for tonight. Some people think that it is because Vince hates him, but it is really because he wants Hornswoggle to rise up like the McMahons do. Vince has been an underdog against Time Warner and the US government and he won. Now go win against Great Khali.

Great Khali vs. Hornswoggle

Shane McMahon comes out to introduce Vince McMahon and then Hornswoggle for some family flavor. We even get an old school explanation of the rules as the fans want Shaquille O’Neal (in the front row) to help Hornswoggle, but Vince grabs the mic and says he doesn’t care what the fans want. Hornswoggle kicks the knee and then dropkicks Runjin Singh through the ropes. The green mist sets up some right hands but Khali chases Hornswoggle off. The distraction lets Hornswoggle grab the shillelagh but Vince takes it away. Khali loads up the Vice Grip, only to have Finlay come in for the DQ.

Rating: D. What is there to say about something like this? The match was a segment instead of anything competitive and that is all it was ever going to be. At the end of the day, the Hornswoggle/Vince story has run out of steam and adding Finlay into the mix isn’t likely to make things that much better. Maybe they can shift things around, but Vince needs to be on to something else.

Post match Finlay destroys Khali with the shillelagh and a low blow, allowing Hornswoggle to escape.

Wrestlemania XXIV is in Orlando.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels for the Raw World Title. Michaels came back in September and went after Orton, who had put him on the shelf. Orton kept getting superkicked but got disqualified last month. Now Michaels wants revenge but can’t use the superkick. If he does, the match is instantly over, but if Orton tries to get disqualified, he loses the title.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels is challenging and we even get a weapons check. Feeling out process with Michaels grabbing a cravate of all things to start. Orton can’t even slam his way out of the cravate but he can drive Shawn into the corner for some right hands. Michaels is right back with a choke on the back before switching to a front facelock as you can feel the anger and hatred here.

Back up and Orton is sent outside, with Shawn hitting an Asai moonsault to take him down. They get back inside with Shawn grabbing a…..wait for it…..Sharpshooter. Orton makes the rope and gets in a poke to the eye, setting up the hanging DDT for two. Shawn fights up and slugs it out, setting up the forearm. More right hands have Orton in trouble but he’s right back with a dropkick for two.

Some slams give Michaels a breather and the top rope elbow looks to set up Sweet Chin Music. That’s a head fake though and they trade some rollups for two each. Michaels grabs a Crossface instead but Orton gets a foot on the rope. The backbreaker cuts Michaels off again but he counters the Punt into an ankle lock of all things. The grapevine goes on in the middle, only to have Orton kick his way to freedom. Michaels’ Figure Four attempt is countered with a kick into the post so he teases the superkick but gets RKOed to retain Orton’s title.

Rating: B. Pretty good here, but the amount of stipulations they had going on made it a little difficult to believe that they were going to change the title here. Shawn not using the superkick at the end looked a bit awkward though and the ending only worked so well. They had a good match otherwise though, which has to be expected when it’s Shawn vs. Orton getting time.

Post match Orton talks trash to Shawn and gets superkicked.

SAVE US!

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Batista vs. Undertaker for Batista’s Smackdown World Title. They’ve fought several times this year and Batista finally beat him for the first time last month. Now it’s the big final showdown inside the Cell.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Batista is defending inside the Cell. They start fast with Batista hitting a hard clothesline but having to elbow his way out of a chokeslam attempt. Undertaker punches him into the corner and hits Snake Eyes into the running big boot. The chair is brought in but Batista spears him down. Undertaker’s clothesline gets two this time and they head outside with Undertaker hammering away.

A face rake against the Cell sets up a chair to the throat has Batista in a lot of trouble so Undertaker chairs him in the ribs for two. Old School is countered into a spinebuster (that was cool) for a delayed two and it’s time to slug it out again. Batista’s running powerslam gets two and they head outside with Undertaker getting blasted with a clothesline. Undertaker is fine enough to whip him into the steps and now a chair to the head has Batista busted open.

Old School is broken up again and Batista hits a superplex but Undertaker pulls him into the triangle choke. Since we’re in the Cell, the rope breaks the hold (erg) and they head outside again. This time Batista hits him in the face with the steps and now Undertaker is busted open too. Back in and a chokeslam gives Undertaker two but the Tombstone is countered into another spinebuster for another near fall.

It’s table time, with Batista tossing him through it for two more. The Batista Bomb onto the steps is countered into a backdrop onto the steps. Undertaker plants him with the chokeslam for two, followed by another onto the steps….and a cameraman breaks it up. That’s because the cameraman is Edge, who cameras Undertaker in the head. A Conchairto on the steps knocks Undertaker silly and Edge puts Batista (who saw nothing) on top to retain.

Rating: B+. These two beat the heck out of each other and it felt like a war, with the Edge interference being a great surprise to give them a back door out of the match. What mattered here is they kept things high impact here, which is exactly what these two do best. Let them go in there and hit all their power stuff until one of them can’t get up, which granted was due to some help in this case. You can all but guarantee the triple threat next month and that is a fresh way to go, so nicely done.

Post match, Edge takes Undertaker down again and leaves to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The main events carry the show, but there is a really big gap between the top of the card and everything else. Even the third biggest match on the show doesn’t feel that important as the whole show was built around Batista vs. Undertaker. The show was a fun enough watch, but outside of the main event, it doesn’t feel like a lot of this matters in the long run.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: June 17, 2008
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Commentators: Mike Adamle, Tazz

Things are still kind of sluggish around here, as we have Big Show set to challenge for the ECW Title but he has barely interacted with champion Kane whatsoever. Instead, Kane and CM Punk are still feuding with Miz and John Morrison, which isn’t exactly interesting stuff. Maybe they’ll find something new in next week’s Draft but that is still a long way off. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Hornswoggle vs. Armando Estrada

No Finlay here with Hornswoggle for a change. The chase is on to start until Hornswoggle whips out a bag of marbles to make Estrada slip. Hornswoggle whips out a rubber mallet before running underneath the ring and escaping to the other side. Cue Finlay with a water gun, allowing Hornswoggle to hit a dive off the apron. Back in and the Tadpole Splash gives Hornswoggle the fast pin.

Post match Tazz asks Finlay what is under the ring. Finlay says leprechauns, hobbits and even people Tazz’s size. Tazz didn’t seem to see that coming so we’ll wrap it up there.

Layla danced during the break.

Evan Bourne vs. Matt Striker

Striker sends him to the apron to start and even catches Bourne in a top rope hanging DDT for two. The cravate goes on for a bit before Bourne fights up. What might have been a low blow cuts Bourne off but he gets his feet up in the corner. Bourne pulls himself up top and hits a shooting star press for the fast pin.

Post match Mike Knox runs in to hit Bourne with the spinning Downward Spiral.

Mike Knox vs. Kofi Kingston

Knox goes with the power to start but Kofi gets some boots up in the corner. It doesn’t really matter though as Knox throws him down and cranks on both arms at once. Kofi kicks his way to freedom and hits a dropkick, followed by the Boom Drop. Cue Shelton Benjamin to jump Kofi for the DQ. Well that was quick.

Post match the brawl is on but Shelton Dragon Whips Knox down by mistake.

Long look at this week’s Million Dollar Mania.

Finlay and Hornswoggle are in Teddy Long/Tiffany’s office for a contract signing. They sign, and get a Tag Team Title shot at Night Of Champions. Granted Hornswoggle signs with a big green marker and then goes after Finlay. That’s broken up but here is Miz to be incredulous about the title shot. Finlay drops him with a single shot.

CM Punk vs. John Morrison

Punk kicks away to start so Morrison hits him in the face. A high kick to the head gives Punk two but Morrison sends him into the ropes. Morrison grabs an arm and leg on the mat for some cranking. Back up and Morrison drives him into the corner, setting up a crank on the other arm and leg. Morrison drapes him over the top rope to stay on the ribs, followed by the seated abdominal stretch.

Punk fights up and tries the GTS but the ribs go out, allowing Morrison to drop him again. The bodyscissors goes on but Punk reverses into a giant swing of all things. Punk’s ribs are fine enough to snap off a powerslam and they’re both down for a bit. Morrison knees him in the face for two and loads up a springboard, only to dive into the GTS to give Punk the pin.

Rating: C+. It was nice to have a match that actually got a little bit of time here and Punk and Morrison’s chemistry made it that much better. I’m not sure if we need to keep going with Punk going after the titles, but at least they had a nice main event here. Punk is ready to go from ECW though and there is a good chance that the Draft will take care of that.

Post match Miz pops up to say Morrison is still a Tag Team Champion.

Teddy Long brings out Big Show and Kane for a showdown as this match is suddenly remembered. Show talks about their history together and promises to take the title again. Kane says Show has no idea what is coming for him but Show talks about how crazy he knows Kane is. Cue Mark Henry to say they better hope he gets drafted elsewhere, or he’s coming for the winner. Henry gets double chokeslammed to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Well that was quite the nothing show. I get that we are coming up on the Draft and the Show vs. Kane match, but this was a bunch of nothing until a good enough main event. I’m not sure how anyone thought this was a show worth presenting, but at least they should be shaking things up after next week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: May 6, 2008
Location: Labatt Center, London, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Mike Adamle, Tazz

It’s a special night as this is the 100th episode of ECW. That is quite the accomplishment, especially given how messy the early days were around here. The big story continues to be Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero, because that feud just can’t end already. Other than that, hopefully we get another big time story around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at ECW over the last nearly two years, some of which is rather good. There are some not so great moments in there either, but given what kind of resources they had, they did pretty well.

Opening sequence.

Mike Adamle is brought to the ring to start for an explanation if why he walked out last week (with Tazz saying he walked out in support of Adamle). Adamle apologizes to the fans but says he’s been a broadcaster longer than most of them have been alive. He played in the NFL and covered it for seven years, in addition to covering the Olympics. The truth is he had no idea it is to do this job though and how great the fans are. Yes he has made mistakes, but he loves working here and he is going to get better. That explains last week a bit, but hopefully they don’t try to turn this into an angle.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Mike Knox

Extreme Rules and Stevie Richards is on commentary. Knox goes after him to start but they head outside where Dreamer can send him into the steps. It’s time to bring in the weapons though and Knox smashes him in the back with a cookie sheet. A hockey stick is loaded up but Dreamer dropkicks the trashcan into Knox and takes it away.

Back in and Dreamer hits him with various wooden objects before tying Knox in the Tree of Woe. That means a dropkick to drive the shopping cart into the trashcan into Knox, but instead of covering, it’s time for a table. The bulldog through the table is countered though and Knox suplexes him through it for two instead. A chair is brought in and Knox hits the spinning Downward Spiral onto said chair to finish Dreamer.

Rating: C+. You had to have this kind of a match on here somewhere and Dreamer losing is a fine enough way to go. Knox still isn’t really interesting in any way but at least they kept it relatively short and got some violence in there. Richards didn’t really add anything, but I wonder if he is there to take some pressure off of Adamle.

We look at the Zombie on the debut episode and getting wrecked by the Sandman. I’m still not sure if that’s hilariously stupid or stupidly hilarious.

We get the return of Kelly’s Expose until Layla interferes and dances as well. Catfighting ensues and referees break it up.

We look at the Hardcore Holly vs. Rob Van Dam Extreme Rules match and the ghastly cut on Holly’s back after going through a table.

We look at Roddy Piper and Boogeyman abusing Matt Striker on his birthday.

Chuck Palumbo says he attacked CM Punk because he got in Palumbo’s face. Don’t do that again.

Kofi Kingston vs. Matt Striker

Shelton Benjamin is on commentary. Striker knocks him down to start but Kofi is back with a heck of a dropkick. Trouble In Paradise finishes Striker in about a minute.

Post match Benjamin comes in and lays Kingston out with a jumping Downward Spiral.

CM Punk and a bunch of other ECW stars give Colin Delaney a pep clap on the way to the ring.

We look at the New Breed beating the ECW Originals in an Extreme Rules match. That wasn’t the worst story actually.

Colin Delaney vs. Armando Estrada

If Delaney wins, he gets a contract. We see Estrada without a shirt for the first time and it turns out that he’s in incredible shape. Delaney tries a rollup to start but gets blasts with a clothesline for his efforts. A beal sets up an armbar as this is getting one sided in a hurry. Back up and Delaney hits a dropkick but gets sent out to the apron. Delaney slides back in though and a sunset flip (Is it still a sunset flip if he doesn’t actually flip?) pins Estrada to give Delaney the contract in a huge upset.

Post match Delaney thanks everyone for helping him get here, including Tommy Dreamer and all of his doubters.

CM Punk/Kane vs. Bam Neely/Chavo Guerrero

Miz and John Morrison are on commentary, with Miz giving Tazz a Chick Magnet shirt. Neely goes for Kane’s leg to start and gets punched in the face for his efforts. Punk comes in with a slingshot hilo for two as Morrison lists of the things he hates about Punk (Morrison: “His tights, his kickpads.”) in quite the rant. It’s off to Chavo, who slips out of a double underhook and brings Punk into the wrong corner. Punk is fine enough to send Chavo to the floor (Punk: “YOU ALMOST WENT SPLAT!”) and we take a break.

Back with Punk being sent into the corner so Neely can slowly forearm away. As Miz and Morrison needle Adamle (who doesn’t seem happy), Chavo comes in and gets punched out of the corner. Chavo pulls Punk back down into a chinlock before it’s back to Neely for a belly to back suplex. Miz and Tazz argue a bit as well as Chavo slingshots in with a knee to the chest.

Punk finally kicks Neely away (Adamle: “Have mercy!” Morrison: “Did you just say ‘have mercy’?”), allowing the tag to Kane. House is cleaned and Neely is sent outside, leaving Kane to hit the top rope clothesline on Chavo. Kane seems to bang up his knee though and it’s back to Punk for the knees to Chavo’s chest. Another knee rocks Chavo again as everything breaks down. Kane kicks Neely outside and the GTS finishes Chavo.

Rating: C+. As has been the case for a long time now, there isn’t much of a way around it: Chavo Guerrero isn’t very interesting as a main event level star. The other big problem is Neely, who is as generic of an enforcer as you can get. The fact that he is also a glorified punching bag doesn’t help either. Kane and Punk winning was the fool good ending, but I can’t imagine Chavo and Neely being seen as a serious threat to them anyway.

Miz and Morrison hold up the titles at Kane and Punk to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The 100th episode deal and the special clips were kind of nice, but other than that, the Delaney win was the only thing that mattered here. Starting the show with the Adamle promo didn’t help things, and it just wasn’t that interesting of a show. The action was good enough and the show was fine, but you have to remember how little most of this matters. It isn’t a bad show (as is the case a lot of the time), but it isn’t important, and that becomes a problem over time.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: April 29, 2008
Location: Boardwalk Hall, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Adamle

We’re done with Backlash and believe it or not, Bam Neely wasn’t enough to get Chavo Guerrero past ECW Champion Kane. The feud still isn’t that interesting as there is still no reason to believe that Chavo is a real threat to get the title back. Unfortunately there aren’t many options available to challenge Kane at the moment so things might continue. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin

Before the match, Benjamin promises to show that Kofi beating him last week was a fluke. A very fast rollup gives Benjamin two and he slams Kofi down a few times for the same. Kofi fights out of a backbreaker but another backbreaker cuts him right back down. A superplex attempt is broken up though and Kofi hits a high crossbody. Benjamin isn’t having that and plants him hard, setting up a corner clothesline. Kofi is right back up with Trouble In Paradise (it’s as sudden as it sounds) for the pin.

Rating: C. The ending was so out of nowhere that it almost felt weird. I’m assuming they’re going with the idea that Kofi can hit the kick anytime and another win helps him, but this was almost a squash until the ending. What matters is that Kingston gets another win though, as his slow rise continues.

Mike Knox vs. Tommy Dreamer

This is revenge for Knox hurting Dreamer’s buddy Colin Delaney (in the corner). Dreamer stomps away in the corner to start but Knox blasts him with a clothesline. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Knox sends Delaney into the steps for fun. The distracted Dreamer gets caught with the spinning Downward Spiral for a fast pin.

It’s time for Striker’s Classroom, with Matt Striker thinking the people here need some education after Spring Break. Striker brings out the newer Smackdown broadcaster, Mick Foley. We get a quick lesson for Foley to know what he is going to be doing, but Foley brings up his bestselling books in addition to his in-ring career. Striker mocks Foley’s smile, physical fitness, hair and lack of air ear.

Foley likes the way he looks because it reminds him of the sacrifices he has made to entertain the fans over the years. That might be foreign to Striker, who is a pretty boy and has never entertained anyone. Striker gets on him about his sweat pants but Foley says they are full of testicular fortitude. As Striker keeps going on about move names Foley won’t know, Foley pulls out Mr. Socko and, using a phantom Gore Vidal sighting, knocks Striker out. Beating up a loudmouthed villain will always work.

CM Punk vs. Chuck Palumbo

Palumbo shoves him in the face to start and we’re ready to go fast. A slam takes Punk down but Palumbo misses an elbow, meaning it’s time to strike away. Punk gets clotheslined hard into the corner though and the chinlock goes on. Punk fights up again and gets dropped with some right hands in the corner. Make that enough right hands that Palumbo gets disqualified.

Rating: C. Well ok then. I kept waiting on Punk to come back and hit the GTS for the pin but it never happened. Instead Palumbo dominated to start, kept doing so, and then got disqualified for being Punk up too much. Was Punk in trouble here or something? It’s hard to fathom Palumbo beating up Mr. Money in the Bank at this point yet here we are for some reason.

Post match Punk goes after Palumbo again and gets dropped again.

Raw Rebound.

Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero/Bam Neely

Non-title…and commentary leaves for some reason. As that bizarre change takes place, Kane hits a basement dropkick and gorilla press on Chavo to start. The threat of a chokeslam has Neely pulling Chavo to the floor as we take a break. Back with Chavo dropkicking the knee and handing it off to Neely (in dress clothes). Chavo offers a distraction though and the villains get to take over.

Kane sends Chavo over the top but Neely pulls Kane down, banging up the knee even more. Back in and Chavo wraps the leg around the rope before hitting a basement dropkick. Kane’s sit up has Chavo panicking in a great visual and the side slam gets two. It’s back to Neely, who gets taken down with the top rope clothesline, followed by Kane bringing Chavo back in the hard way. Neely goes right back to the leg though (smart bodyguard) and the frog splash gives Chavo the pin.

Rating: C+. The lack of commentary aside, this was a nice match with the villains going after the knee to take Kane down and then putting him away. If nothing else, Chavo getting a pin might make him seem that much more important in the required rematches, as Kane still has no better opponents. Neely still doesn’t offer much but muscle, though at least he looks decent while doing so.

Overall Rating: C. I’m still trying to get over that Chuck Palumbo deal, but the best thing I can say about this show is it felt a little different. ECW still needs quite a talent boost, though at least they tried to make things more interesting this week. That being said, Neely, Knox and Palumbo are only going to get you so far. Kingston’s rise helps though and hopefully these problems can get fixed sooner rather than later. They probably won’t as I’ve been saying that for months, but at least they’re making some minor adjustments.

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Smackdown
Date: April 18, 2008
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Attendance: 17,422
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

We’ll finish up the England excursion here with the blue guys. These shows can be a cross between a bunch of stuff mainly for the live fans and a show that actually matters so we could be in for either here. Backlash is almost here though and Edge vs. Undertaker II is down for the main event so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Chris Jericho for the Highlight Reel to get things going. Jericho reminds us that he is the guest referee for the Backlash match between Shawn Michaels and his guest this week, Batista. Cue Batista, with Jericho saying he thinks Shawn relished retiring Ric Flair and all of his lies over the years. We look at a clip from Raw where Jericho made such accusations, earning himself Sweet Chin Music.

Back live, Jericho says that kick proved him correct and for that, Jericho says you’re welcome to Batista. That’s not what Batista was looking for because he didn’t need Jericho to speak for him. Batista says this is between himself and Shawn so Jericho has nothing to do with this. Jericho offers some analysis: Batista is upset at Shawn for retiring Ric Flair because he wanted to do it himself. We get a quick fan pole about Jericho’s claims but Batista takes him out with the Batista Bomb.

Tommy Dreamer vs. MVP

Non-title and Matt Hardy is on commentary. Dreamer slugs away to start and grabs an armbar, which doesn’t last long. MVP gets in a shoulder to the ribs before sending him throat first into the bottom rope. Some more knockdowns set up Ballin for two but Dreamer gets a boot up in the corner. The comeback is on including a neckbreaker to give Dreamer two. The DDT gets the same but MVP sends him shoulder first into the post. A running boot in the corner finishes Dreamer off.

Rating: C. Not quite a squash here but it was there to have MVP get a quick win over someone the fans care about. Dreamer got in a few shots here and there but it was done in about five minutes, as it should be. Now they just need to get to MVP vs. Hardy, which is more than a bit overdue.

Hornswoggle vs. Matt Striker

This is revenge for Hornswoggle helping inlay beat Striker last week. Before the match, Striker goes on a rant about how unfair this is when he is far too smart. Hold on because Hornswoggle, with Finlay, starts with some juggling before throwing the tennis balls at Striker. Then it’s some squirt guns, followed by some bigger water guns. Striker finally gets smart by going after Finlay on the floor before finally taking Hornswoggle down and hammering away. The Shillelagh is picked up but the referee takes it away, allowing Finlay to get in his own shot to Striker’s head. The Tadpole Splash finishes for Hornswoggle.

Rating: C. It’s kind of hard to get annoyed at anyone, including Hornswoggle, beating up a goof like Striker. The only reason he is around is to get beaten up like this and it being all goofy made it better. They didn’t waste a ton of time on this and it wasn’t meant to be anything more than a quick joke.

Big Show didn’t care for Great Khali giving him a goat and a chicken last week. Tonight he has Mark Henry, which is going to be a big showdown.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Jamie Noble

Bam Neely is here with Chavo. Noble takes him down by the leg to start but Chavo is back up with a running shoulder. Chavo’s headlock on the mat doesn’t last long as they trade rollups for two each until the armbar goes on. Back up and Noble grabs a northern lights suplex for two but Chavo knocks him down and Eddie dances. Noble manages a quickly broken up Sharpshooter attempt so Chavo necksnaps him across the top. The frog splash finishes Noble off.

Rating: C-. Talented people don’t always make for the most interesting matches as this was a good bit of chinlocking before Chavo finished him off. Chavo beating up a former Cruiserweight Champion and having an impressive looking bodyguard isn’t going to make him all that much more interesting. I’m sure he’ll still be near the top of ECW for the time being though because of course he will be, but it’s not quite working.

Mark Henry vs. Big Show

They shove each other away from a lockup to start until Henry knocks him away. The bearhug goes on to keep Show in place until a shove and superkick get Show out of trouble. There’s a chokeslam to Henry but cue Great Khali to come out and go after Show for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere but it was mainly spent in a bearhug with some shoving included. The idea of getting Show ready for Khali was fine but the match was pretty lame on the way there. Then again the idea of Show vs. Khali in a featured match could be rough, even if it wouldn’t be much bigger than this.

Post match the brawl is on with Khali hitting a chokebomb (with Show pretty clearly doing all of the work).

Backlash rundown.

Video on Batista vs. Undertaker before tonight’s main event.

Victoria vs. Cherry

Natalya and Michelle McCool are here too. Victoria powers her down into the corner to start and then hits a clothesline to cut off the comeback. Cherry grabs a rollup out of the corner for two but Victoria slaps on a reverse chinlock. Victoria keeps up the beating and trash talking but Victoria makes the mistake of yelling at Michelle. In a totally original ending, the distraction lets Cherry grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. So many of these women’s matches are just dreadful as there’s nothing to them since they rarely get any time and often involve someone who really can’t do anything in the ring. It also doesn’t help that there’s nothing on the line, so why should I get invested here? Cherry doesn’t wrestle often, but when your big weapon is a rollup, what are you supposed to do?

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Leroy Kincaid

Kincaid is in pretty good shape. Kozlov works on the arm to start and shoves him away before hitting a headbutt to the chest. An overhead belly to belly sets up the reverse DDT to give Kozlov the easy win.

Video on Edge vs. Undertaker.

Edge and the Edgeheads have front row tickets.

Batista vs. Undertaker

Non-title. Undertaker takes him into the corner to start and gets two off a clothesline. Batista hits the corner shoulders and elbows Undertaker in the face for two of his own. The running DDT drops Batista again and Undertaker stomps away in the corner. Old School is broken up and it’s a double clothesline to leave them both down. We take a break and come back with Undertaker choking on the ropes and staying on the arm.

Old School is blocked again and a superplex brings Undertaker back down for one. Undertaker is right back on the arm and now Old School connects. They go outside with Batista being dropped onto the barricade for two but he’s right back with the spear. That bangs up the arm though and a delayed cover only gets two. Batista dumps him to the floor and they brawl at ringside until it’s a double countout.

Rating: B-. This was a way to get the stars in the ring to continue one of the biggest feuds of the last year or so. The ending was a good way to protect both of them before their major pay per view matches but even the two of them in a match like this feels like something special. There aren’t many options that can make something that work but they got the right one here.

Post match the brawl stays on with Edge and the Edgeheads being drawn in so they can get beaten up too. Edge escapes so here is Vickie Guerrero (with an EXCUSE ME) to say that Edge and the Edgeheads are members of the audience so lawsuits could be filed. No worry though, because their justice will come when it’s Undertaker vs. Batista for the title next week, with the winner facing Edge at Backlash.

Overall Rating: C. Much like this week’s ECW, there wasn’t much to be seen here other than one match. These England shows tend to be more like that but the spectacle does often work. Things will be back to normal next week as Backlash gets closer and we head back stateside, but for now it’s one match worth seeing and little else.

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Smackdown
Date: April 11, 2008
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Gresham

We are on the road to Backlash and believe it or not, Edge is already getting his rematch after losing the World Title at Wrestlemania. Undertaker isn’t overly pleased and that rarely works out well for anyone else. Other than that, Batista isn’t happy with Raw’s Shawn Michaels, which almost has to be better than the last time he fought someone from Raw. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Great Khali is in the ring with a bunch of dancers and two shirtless guys. Apparently this is a Punjabi Peace Offering to Big Show. One of the men explains the concept and is about to quote Gandhi when Big Show comes out. Show isn’t interested as the ring clears, save for one of the men and the giants.

The offering is some sort of spiritual water, followed by a bottle of the world’s finest scotch. Show drinks it but cringes before being given….a black chicken so he will never be hungry? Finally Show is presented with a goat, so he will never be thirsty. Show says words can’t describe how he feels and he shakes Khali’s hand. Then the big right hand knocks Khali silly. That looked good.

John Morrison/The Miz vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

How many times are these teams going to fight? Non-title but we do see a clip of Miz and Morrison mocking Yang and Moore on the Dirt Sheet. Moore works on Morrison’s arm to start and Yang comes in with a dropkick for two. It’s off to Miz, who can’t get a belly to back suplex, as Yang kicks him in the face instead. Moore comes back in but gets sent throat first into the middle rope to cut him off. The slingshot elbow hits Moore and Morrison grabs the armbar.

Morrison stomps away as commentary questions Miz and Morrison’s ethical standards. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Moore’s back, which is enough to set up the comeback. Moore gets over for the tag to Yang so the pace can pick way up. The missile dropkick puts Morrison down for two but he’s back up with a kick to the face of his own for two of his own. A blind tag brings Miz back in though and a jumping neckbreaker finishes Yang.

Rating: C+. These teams work well together and it’s a shame that Moore and Yang didn’t get more of a chance. That’s one of the flaws with having a division that is about two teams at most and there just wasn’t room for a makeshift pairing. Miz and Morrison continue to roll though and I’m not sure who could take the titles anytime soon.

Teddy Long watches Edge and Vickie Guerrero get a couples massage. They’re both been so stressed out and Edge is so happy to be here instead of being at the arena.

Finlay vs. Matt Striker

Hornswoggle is here with Finlay and goes underneath the ring at the bell. They grapple against the ropes to start, where Hornswoggle sprays Striker with a water gun. The annoyed Striker kicks Finlay down and starts in on the arm. Finlay fight sup for the Regal Roll, setting up a catapult into the corner. Striker ties him up on the apron and hammers away, as he is known to do. Coach: “I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone use the apron like that.” Cole: “Then you haven’t been watching Smackdown because Finlay does it every match.” Point to Cole.

Now it’s Hornswoggle with a bucket of confetti (Striker: “Get out of here Sky Low Low!”) but it doesn’t work so well. Another bucket, this one of water, works better but Striker avoids a charge into the post. Hornswoggle’s shot with an inflatable hammer (called a shillelagh but it looked like a hammer) just annoys Striker, who is distracted enough for the real shillelagh shot to knock him cold for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t exactly there for the back and forth action, with the commentary being the best part. This was much more about having Finlay get back on track after his Wrestlemania loss and he got as much as he could out of beating Striker. It was a nothing match as expected, but Cole burning Coach was funny.

Post match Hornswoggle hits the Tadpole Splash.

Victoria vs. Michelle McCool

Before the match, Victoria introduces us to her new best friend: Natalya Neidhart, so we get a look at Natalya’s father Jim. Natalya says it’s about her and “When you mess with the best, you go down with the rest. Yeah baby.” With that thankfully out of the way, Michelle takes Victoria down and starts hammering away. A basement dropkick sends Victoria outside but she’s right back in with a hard clothesline. Victoria grabs a superplex for two but McCool fights back up. Natalya gets in a jacket shot though and Victoria grabs a rollup, with tights, for the win. Bad ending aside, that was a better women’s match than usual for Smackdown.

Michael Cole is in the ring and talks about how personal the issue between Shawn Michaels and Batista has become. We get a recap of their troubles, which stems from Michaels retiring Flair. Since the wrestling world can’t exist without Flair, Batista is mad at Shawn for not letting Flair win. That’s not what Flair wanted but Batista just wants Flair around (they make it sound like he’s dead). Here are Batista and Shawn to go face to face, with Shawn saying everyone, including Flair, has moved on. Well, except Batista that is, which has Shawn thinking.

Batista’s problem isn’t with Flair, but with Shawn himself. That’s true, and what Shawn did at Wrestlemania opened Batista’s eyes. The blood on Shawn’s hands isn’t getting washed out and Batista doesn’t like how Shawn got to the top. Batista was up front, which Shawn says is a luxury he had at 6’5, 280lbs. Shawn couldn’t do that and yes he did take shortcuts when he had to. He’ll knock Batista’s teeth down his throat at Backlash but for now he has to escape the Batista Bomb. The match will be good but Batista acting like the world is ending because Flair is gone is still a lot to take.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Matt Logan

Kozlov tosses him around and finishes with the reverse DDT in less than a minute. Total destruction.

Back to the spa, where Edge and Vickie have face masks on, complete with cucumbers over their eyes. Teddy Long brings them their drinks and has to take the cucumbers away. They’re even getting matching pedicures! Teddy’s disgusted look is great.

Matt Hardy vs. Chuck Palumbo

MVP is on commentary. As MVP calls out Coach and Cole for being ranked the worst commentary team of all time (with Cole no selling it), Matt reverses a headlock into a hammerlock. With that broken up, Palumbo kicks him in the back and cranks on the neck. Matt fights up and enziguris his way to freedom and they both crash out to the floor. That of course means an MVP distraction so Palumbo can jump Matt from behind and take over.

We take a break and come back with Matt fighting out of another neck crank. Palumbo suplexes him down and grabs a third neck crank, followed by a fourth because Palumbo seems a bit limited in the ring. Another comeback lets Matt grab a Side Effect to take over and Palumbo’s missed charge goes into the post. There’s the middle rope elbow to the back of the head but Palumbo plants Hardy for two. Not that it matters as the Twist of Fate finishes Palumbo off.

Rating: C. Palumbo’s usefulness continues to be putting others over as angry biker only has so much of a shelf life. Hardy is on a bit of a roll and is getting somewhere on the way to his US Title shot against MVP. Taking the title is going to be a bit easier said than done, but at least we are FINALLY getting to that point.

Post match MVP poses at Hardy and walks off.

Jesse and Festus are nervous about the latter’s match against Undertaker tonight.

Backlash rundown.

Undertaker vs. Festus

Non-title and Jesse is here with Festus. Undertaker starts fast with a big boot before going after the arm, including Old School. Festus manages a powerslam for two and hammers away in the corner. Another boot to the face and a clothesline give Undertaker two and they fight to the floor. Festus rams him into the barricade a few times and they head inside, where Festus’ right hands send Undertaker outside again.

Undertaker isn’t having that and sends him into the steps, setting up another kick to the head. Back in and Undertaker hits the running DDT and starts hammering away in the corner. They slug it out until Undertaker has to escape a fireman’s carry and grabs the chokeslam for two. Festus fights up and slugs away but the referee gets bumped. With the referee down, Undertaker grabs the triangle choke and, after a good while, the referee comes back in to say Festus is out.

Rating: C+. Undertaker gave Festus a lot more than I would have expected here, as Festus got to beat Undertaker up for a few minutes. The ending was a good way to make Undertaker’s choke feel dangerous, which is quite the upgrade for someone who is already such a monster. Festus showed something here though, and that is how unnecessary Jesse is to his success.

Post match Jesse runs in and breaks it up to protect Festus. Undertaker looks down at them and doesn’t appear happy before posing to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They kept this show moving despite very little actually happening. Undertaker being in the ring always feels like something special, even if he was facing someone like Festus. Other than that, Backlash is pretty much set and now we need to just get to the show in a few weeks. Some of the stories still need some more polish though and we could be getting some of that until we get to the pay per view. Not a great show here, but it held things in place well enough.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: March 25, 2008
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s the final ECW before Wrestlemania and that means pretty much nothing around here. There is no title match set for Wrestlemania as it is going to be all about the battle royal. I’m not sure what that is going to leave us to do on this show but maybe they have one more week of nothing before things, at least hopefully, reset next week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes/Kofi Kingston/Kane/Tommy Dreamer/Jesse & Festus/Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore/Jim Duggan/Val Venis/Jamie Noble vs. Great Khali/Miz/Chuck Palumbo/Matt Striker/Mark Henry/Snitsky/Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch/Brian Kendrick/Deuce N Domino/Elijah Burke

Because THIS is a good idea. This is all twenty four entrants into the battle royal thrown into a tag match, which makes me wonder how many people the aprons can hold. Cody rolls Kendrick up for a fast two and then backslides him for the same. It’s quickly off to Noble vs. Palumbo, with the latter grabbing a belly to back suplex.

Yang comes in off some of that Jung Dragons chemistry but gets suplexed for his efforts. A middle rope hurricanrana gets Yang out of trouble and it’s time for a parade of dives. We take a break and come back with everything breaking down, as you might have expected. Kofi dives onto Deuce N Domino and Holly gets to hit an Alabama Slam. Khali and Kane have finally had enough of this and start wrecking people. With the two of them down, Henry feeds Dreamer into a big boot from Snitsky for the pin.

Rating: C. This is one of those matches that isn’t about the action itself but rather telling you what you might be seeing on Sunday. In that sense it worked out well enough, but my goodness the battle royal might as well have about three people. Chavo almost has to lose at this point as there is just nothing to his title reign and someone else can take the title to hopefully do something with it.

Post match everyone gets in the ring for the huge staredown.

Boxing personalities talk about Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Chavo Guerrero comes up to mock the injured Tommy Dreamer. A match is set for tonight, thanks to some insults to Colin Delaney (sure why not).

Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito

Feeling out process to start with Carlito slugging away as Taz says he has been hit in the face with a ladder in a match but never had a ladder match. Benjamin skins the cat but Carlito snaps his throat across the top for a crash to the floor. We hit the chinlock back inside and the fans do not seem impressed. Benjamin fights up but gets knocked back into the corner as this isn’t exactly burning up the mat.

Another chinlock goes on but this time Benjamin electric chairs his way to freedom. Carlito is back with a neckbreaker for two and we hit the chinlock with a knee in Benjamin’s back. Benjamin finally makes the comeback and hits the overhead belly to belly. A neckbreaker gives Carlito two more but the Backstabber is countered into a buckle bomb. Paydirt is countered into a backbreaker to give Carlito two more but Benjamin catches him on top. A super Paydirt finishes Carlito off.

Rating: C-. These two were left out there to fill in as much time as they could and it didn’t exactly work. There were far too many chinlocks to get them through the match until Benjamin finally won in the end. This really didn’t work very well, but like everything else around here, none of that is going to matter by next week.

Video on the Raw World Title triple threat match.

Wrestlemania rundown.

The final inductee into the Hall of Fame Class: Gordon Solie.

Kelly Kelly/Stevie Richards vs. Mike Knox/Layla

The women actually wrestle to start with Kelly getting two. Knox gets in a cheap shot from the apron though and Layla takes over for a bit. The men come in and Richards swings away until the women getting in a fight distracts him. Knox grabs a swinging Downward Spiral for the fast pin.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Chavo Guerrero

Non-title and the battle royal participants are at ringside. Dreamer backdrops him to the apron and punches him out to the floor to start, with the unofficial lumberjacks sending Chavo back inside. Chavo sends him shoulder first into the post and we hit the front facelock. The fans think Chavo sucks, even as Dreamer fights up with a bulldog. Guerrero blocks something out of the corner so Dreamer settles for a neckbreaker. Dreamer gets crotched on top though and the frog splash gives Chavo the pin.

Rating: C-. And that’s another Chavo match these days, as they are still rather uninteresting with little going on that could make me care about the title. Dreamer making his comeback is always decent enough but there was only so much that can be done with a three minute match less than a week before Wrestlemania. Just get the title off of Chavo already because this reign is dragging down everything else.

Post match everyone gets inside and the fight is on to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. My goodness Wrestlemania needs to come and go already because this show is falling apart in a hurry. There is only so much that can be done when you have one important story and that one is in limbo due to the champion not having an opponent. Other than that, it is a bunch of people trying to fill in time and that is not going to work long, or even short, term.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: March 11, 2008
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 15,121
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Wrestlemania continues to inch closer and thankfully it seems that Chavo Guerrero can finally move on from CM Punk and find a new challenger for the ECW Title. This week is about the Tag Team Titles though as Tommy Dreamer and Colin Delaney are challenging Miz and John Morrison for the Smackdown Tag Team Titles in an Extreme Rules match. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Miz/John Morrison vs. Tommy Dreamer/Colin Delaney

Miz and Morrison are defending in an Extreme Rules match. Since there are tags in an EXTREME RULES match, Dreamer gets taken into the corner for an early double teaming. Delaney, realizing how rules should really work, dives onto both champs and the fight goes to the floor. A big running flip dive takes Miz and Morrison down as Taz and Cole are way behind Delaney doing nutty things.

Miz manages to knock Dreamer down though and it’s a double gutbuster to Delaney inside. Hold on though as Dreamer slides in a kendo stick and Delaney gets to swing a bit. Dreamer comes back in and the champs are able to get back up with some weapon shots of their own. The catapult into the slingshot elbow crushes Delaney but Dreamer is back with some trashcan lid shots.

With Morrison down, Delaney puts on a Chicago Bears helmet for What’s Up because ECW. Miz is back up with some trashcan lid shots but Dreamer and Delaney tie the champs in the Tree of Woe for running shots to the face. Stereo covers get stereo twos with stereo feet on the ropes, so let’s grab a table.

With that taking too long, Dreamer and Miz go up, with Morrison going over to break it up. That means a superplex to Miz and a superbomb to Morrison for another double delayed near fall. Delaney’s Sliced Bread is broken up with a hard toss out to the floor, allowing Morrison to moonsault off the apron while holding a trashcan. Back in and Miz and Morrison send Dreamer through the table to retain the titles.

Rating: B-. This was WAY better than it had any right to be and it worked out rather well. Delaney and Dreamer were never going to be serious threats to win the titles but they did have some fun on the way there. The helmet spot was fun if nothing else, but this should wrap up the feud for good.

Here is Armando Estrada to announce a 24 man battle royal at Wrestlemania. The winner will get an ECW title match later that night. Estrada brings out one of the participants.

Great Khali vs. Stevie Richards

I’m assuming you can guess which of the two Estrada was excited about. Chokebomb finishes Richards in about 20 seconds.

Post match Mike Knox comes out and wrecks Richards even more. So much for that push.

Deuce vs. Kofi Kingston

Domino and Cherry are here with Deuce. Kofi goes after the arm to start but Deuce snaps the throat across the top rope for a breather. Granted not for Kofi but it’s kind of hard to share one of those. The neck crank goes on but Kofi pops up for the right hands in the corner. The Boom Drop connects and a spinning kick to the face (the Jamaican Buzzsaw according to Joey) finishes Deuce fast.

Rating: C. This is Kingston starting to move up the ladder a bit as Deuce might not be a big star but he is a bigger deal than the other people Kingston has beaten. You can see some potential in him and WWE seems to be moving him in the right way. Nothing special as far as a match goes, but at least he is moving in the right direction.

Raw Rebound.

Wrestlemania rundown.

CM Punk is ready to beat Big Daddy V. and qualify for Money In The Bank. And hey, we’re in his hometown.

Festus vs. Elijah Burke

Jesse is here too. Festus goes off on Burke to start but gets punched back into the corner for his efforts. Burke works on the arm and dropkicks him down for one. Festus shoulders him down, drops a knee, and finishes with the fireman’s carry flapjack. This really wasn’t good and you could see the fans walking out.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Big Daddy V. vs. CM Punk

Shelton Benjamin is on commentary and Matt Striker is here with V. Punk gets shoved down to start so he switches to the leg kicks. V runs him over though as the CM PUNK chants are rather loud here. The slow, plodding offense begins but Punk is back with a running knee in the corner. For some reason, Punk tries the GTS and gets crushed by V landing on his back (a deserved result for being stupid). Back up and Punk knocks him to the floor and that’s a fast countout for the win.

Rating: D+. Yeah what else were you expecting here? There is only so much that anyone can do with V and as a smaller wrestler, Punk is even more limited. Punk winning wasn’t much of a shock here, but what mattered was giving the fans something to cheer about. It was a bad match of course, but they did what they needed to do.

Overall Rating: C. The opener was good but the rest was a mixture of dull and bad. ECW just has nothing going on with Wrestlemania as the title match is going to be set up at the show. What does that leave for the next few weeks as we get to the show? Not a great show here, but at least they set something up going forward.

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Smackdown
Date: February 15, 2008
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 14,307
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

It’s the go home show for No Way Out and that probably means we are going to be seeing more between the people involved in the Elimination Chamber. Other than that, Edge vs. Rey Mysterio II needs more of a build, though I’m not sure how much more there is to do with the feud. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Batista vs. MVP

Non-title. MVP gets backed into the corner to start before Batista drops him with a shoulder. That’s enough for a breather on the floor as MVP needs a break. Back in and some slams send MVP right back to the floor, followed by a running boot to the head back inside. Batista switches things up a bit by going after the leg, with commentary debating if that is a callback to MVP going after Ric Flair’s leg or just, you know, trying to hurt MVP before the Chamber. The Figure Four would suggest it’s a bit of both but MVP makes it to the rope as we take a break.

Back with Batista driving the shoulders to the ribs in the corner but MVP sends him shoulder first into the post. MVP stomps him down in the corner before getting smart by staying on the arm. The kick to the head gives MVP two and we hit the armbar. They head outside with Batista being sent into the steps but Batista is back with a ram into the apron. Back in and MVP gets smart by sending him shoulder first into the post again. That’s fine with Batista, who uses the good shoulder for a spear. The Batista Bomb puts MVP away.

Rating: C+. I liked the match layout as they had MVP try to wear Batista down for Sunday, which makes sense, but my goodness can we stop having the US Champion get pinned? It’s one of the most annoying things in all of wrestling and it feels like it has been happening on a pretty regular basis as of late. You couldn’t have had him walk out of get disqualified here? That shouldn’t be too much to ask.

Edge gives the Edgeheads a quick and mostly useless pep talk.

Deuce N Domino/Edgeheads vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore/Jesse and Festus

The bell rings and Festus cleans house, as he is known to do. Jesse knocks Ryder down for two and it’s off to Moore, who gets taken into the wrong corner. The beatdown is on and the villains start taking turns beating Moore up. Moore kicks Domino away though and the hot tag brings in Yang to clean house. Everything breaks down and Yang’s moonsault press finishes Domino fast.

Post match the bell rings and the villains beat everyone down….until Jesse rings the bell and Festus gets to wreck everyone again. Another bell rings calms things right back down.

Vickie Guerrero gets her makeup done in the hopes that Edge pops the question later.

Michelle McCool vs. Victoria

Hold on though as here is Chuck Palumbo to watch and Michelle is shaken. Palumbo revs his motorcycle a lot and Victoria chokes in the corner. Michelle’s superplex attempt is broken up as she is distracted again, allowing Victoria to punch her in the face a few times. They crash out to the floor as the revving continues/grows even louder. Back in and Michelle hits a clothesline but more revving lets Victoria hit the Widow’s Peak for the pin.

Post match Palumbo threatens McCool and Jamie Noble some more.

We recap Undertaker choking people, namely Big Daddy V, out in recent weeks.

Undertaker vs. Big Daddy V

Matt Striker is here with V, who shoves Undertaker into the corner to start. It works so well that V does it again but Undertaker starts striking away. Undertaker goes to the arm until a Striker distraction lets V get in the rather large clothesline. With Undertaker down on the floor, Striker gets in a kick to the back and V sends Undertaker face first into the steps. After the weird mounting thing, V misses a charge in the corner and gets clotheslined down. Old School connects and a running DDT gives Undertaker the pin.

Rating: D. How many times can Undertaker beat this guy? I think we’ve gotten the point by now, as the video package before the match showed you just how dominant Undertaker has been in this mini feud. I’m not sure why they needed to have V lose clean again here, but it’s not like anyone was buying him as a threat in the Chamber anyway.

Post match Striker yells a lot so Undertaker chokes him out.

Edge is rather nervous.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

No Way Out rundown.

Kane/CM Punk vs. Chavo Guerrero/Shelton Benjamin

Kane and Chavo start things off and it’s a gorilla press to get things going. I’ll let you figure out who pressed who as Punk comes in to stomp Chavo down in the corner. It’s off to Benjamin, who gets dropkicked down but manages to come right back with a t-bone suplex. Chavo gets launched into a splash on Punk for two and the villains take over. That doesn’t last long either though as it’s back to Kane for the house cleaning. Benjamin saves Chavo from a near fall and gets choked for his efforts, with Chavo having to make his own save. Everything breaks down and the GTS finishes Chavo.

Rating: C. Just a way to get Chavo and Punk in the ring again as that feud continues to exist for reasons of….I guess necessity? There isn’t anyone else for Chavo to defend against at the moment so this is about as good as WWE can do for him. That works for a bit, but the impact falls off when they have fought roughly 184 times so far.

Raw Rebound.

Video on Finlay/Hornswoggle vs. Vince McMahon.

Great Khali vs. Finlay

Khali wastes no time in taking him down into the corner for some choking but a neck snap across the rope gives Finlay a breather. Not that it matters as Khali takes him outside and keeps up the beating. Back in and Khali grabs a slam and then a nerve hold, which lasts slightly less long than average. Back up and Finlay avoids a charge in the corner but Khali drops him again. Hornswoggle offers a distraction though and Finlay gets in some shillelagh shots for the pin.

Rating: D+. You can only get so much out of a short match like this one and they didn’t exactly do anything good with it. Finlay beating up Khali with the shillelagh is something that has been done more than once and much like V, there was no reason to believe that Khali was going to win in the Chamber. Finlay isn’t likely going to get much higher than this, but I can go for him being a solid midcard hand who gets a win like this every now and then.

The ring is geared up for the potential proposal. There are balloons, flowers, a string quartet and….well nothing more but do you need anything else? Here is Edge, to some nice string music, and he is looking nervous. Edge talks about how he has never been nervous before but he is really in love. He invites Vickie out here, with Teddy Long getting to push the wheelchair again.

With Teddy gone, Edge says the World Title meant a lot to him, but there is something more important. Edge proposes and gives her the ring, which gets him a yes. Cue Rey Mysterio to interrupt and say he hopes that Vickie drops the Guerrero name. Edge threatens to put Rey in the wheelchair if he doesn’t apologize right now so Rey gets in the ring and apologizes in Spanish. Oh and he’ll win the title on Sunday. The fight is on and the springboard seated sent hits Vickie by mistake. Rey is….sorry? Maybe? Eh Vickie getting humiliated is always worth a look.

Overall Rating: C. Oh yeah they need to get past No Way Out fast because this isn’t exactly working. There is only so much that you can do with the same people doing the same stuff over and over, even if it does at least build things up for the Elimination Chamber. Rey vs. Edge is rapidly turning into Rey vs. Vickie and that is only going to get them so far. It wasn’t a bad show, but it’s a show that is going to need a pit stop really soon.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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