Monday Night Raw – May 15, 2006: Terry Funk Might Be The Best Wrestler Ever

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 15, 2006
Location: United Spirit Arena, Lubbock, Texas
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Things are getting interesting around here as we have the mostly uncombined forces of John Cena, Shawn Michaels and HHH vs. Vince and Shane McMahon, plus the Spirit Squad. It’s certainly a different enough looking feud and I’m curious about how it is going to go. Throw in the new alliance of Edge/Mick Foley/Lita and things are actually getting good. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. HHH

Must be sweeps week. Cena is defending…or at least he would be if Vince McMahon didn’t come out instead of him. Vince says the title match is being changed up, because the Intercontinental Title will be defended at the same time. It’s going to be a three on two handicap tornado tag team match with both titles on the line.

Raw World Title/Intercontinental Title: John Cena/Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin/HHH/Chris Masters

Cena and Van Dam are defending, there are no tags and one fall to a finish. It’s a brawl to start with Cena and HHH brawling on the floor while Van Dam hurricanranas Shelton. Van Dam hits a big running flip dive to take everyone out and we take a break. Back with Cena hitting a running shoulder into a powerslam but HHH sends him outside.

Shelton hits a spinwheel kick to send Cena over the barricade and it’s Van Dam getting triple teamed. HHH and Shelton get in an argument over the pin so Masters puts Van Dam in the Masterlock, which is the smartest thing he has ever done. That’s broken up so Van Dam spinwheel kicks Benjamin and Cena is back in for the running clotheslines.

There’s the Shuffle to Masters but Cena has to backdrop his way out of the Pedigree. Masters breaks up the STF on Benjamin but Rob comes back in with the Five Star. HHH gives Van Dam the Pedigree and there’s an FU to Masters. Another Pedigree takes Cena down but Shelton covers Van Dam for the Intercontinental Title just a second before HHH covers Cena for a nice annoyed visual from HHH.

Rating: C+. This was a complete action match and I liked the concept. There’s something fun about the complete insanity and having different options for people to win titles. Shelton getting the title back is a little annoying but Van Dam can move on with the briefcase, which is a lot more important anyway.

During the break, HHH wasn’t interested in commenting.

Here’s Trish Stratus, with the arm still in a sling, for a chat. She and Mickie James have some unfinished business so get down here right now. Mickie comes down and she’s ready to go but the blonde fan from last week jumps in. The fan chases Mickie off and Trish names her as Beth. The new woman shouts that Mickie is a psycho and Beth isn’t forgetting what Mickie did to her.

Clip from the See No Evil premiere with a bunch of wrestlers in attendance.

This week in wrestling history: Bruno Sammartino b. Buddy Rogers in 48 seconds to win the World Title. This isn’t on the Network for some reason.

Shane McMahon comes in to see HHH, who wants to know what that was. Apparently that was HHH’s title shot so now it’s time for HHH to return the favor. Shane mentions the main event, where he’ll be the guest referee. I’m not sure what that has to do with HHH but how else were they going to make that announcement?

Tag Team Titles: Spirit Squad vs. Goldust/Snitsky

The Squad (Johnny/Nicky) is defending. Johnny’s headlock doesn’t work so it’s off to Goldust for the jumping hip attack. Nicky comes in and gets his arm cranked a bit until the rest of the Squad trips Goldust down. The front facelock keeps Goldust in trouble and a clothesline gives Johnny two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Goldust fights up for the powerslam. The hot tag brings in Snitsky to clean house but it’s a springboard bulldog from Mikey to put him down and give Johnny the retaining pin.

Rating: D+. There was no drama and it was the usual shenanigans from the Squad. They’re exciting enough with the trampoline and all that jazz, but they work a lot better as the goons than as the team holding the titles. It was passable for a short enough match, but that’s about all you can give it here.

Here’s Mick Foley, who says it’s true: Melina was looking at him at Kane’s movie premiere (Foley: “YES!”). As for last week, it’s true that he attacked Tommy Dreamer and kissed Lita, the girlfriend of his sworn enemy, on the hand. He owes us an apology, so he does just that but since Tommy Dreamer can’t be here due to a bad reaction to a barbed wire baseball bat.

Instead, Foley has a special guest: TERRY FUNK, complete with a clip of the dumpster match from Wrestlemania XIV. Foley gives him a warm greeting but Terry says not so fast Cactus. Funk wants to know why Foley did what he did to Tommy Dreamer. Foley: “You don’t want to know.” Mick talks about the history he made with Edge at Wrestlemania but now you have ECW freaks coming in and trying to talk about hardcore.

There are three things Foley will defend with his life: the honor of his wife, the honor of his children and the honor of his legacy as a hardcore wrestling. Funk says Foley is ECW, which means he’s family. They have broken each others’ bones over the years and fought together, but Funk has always put his arm around Foley. Funk says Foley is like a son to him and they hug, with Foley seeming touched.

Foley says this is the first time they have been in a WWE ring together since 1998, but it wasn’t supposed to be that long. Back in 2003, Foley was honored in a ceremony on Raw with all of the hardcore legends….except Terry Funk. Foley asked where Funk was but was told that Terry was at home because he wanted too much money to be there. Funk gets serious and Foley tells him to shut his mouth.

Foley is going to get a phone call a few years from now, saying that Funk is gone and they want him at the funeral. He’ll come but it’s going to cost a lot of money to make Foley come to a dump like west Texas. Foley will cash in the frequent flier miles if he has to but he’ll there just so he can spit on Funk’s grave. Funk: “YOU GOT YOUR NERVE FOLEY! I’M GONNA JOHN WAYNE YOUR A**!”

Funk tells him to take his best shot and slaps him in the face over and over but Foley won’t fight back. Funk: “Hey Foley! If I had a head like yours, I’d have it circumcised!” That’s almost too far for Foley, so Funk says it again. Foley goes to leave so Funk says his wife is a wh***. Funk: “HEY FOLEY! HEY FOLEY! YOUR KIDS ARE B*******!” Funk says the WWE sucked and that’s enough to get Foley swinging but Funk punches him back. Cue Edge, who gets knocked into the corner as well but Lita gets in a low blow. A barbed wire bat shot puts Funk down and it’s Mr. Socko into the spear to leave Funk laying.

The Funk vs. Foley stuff was outstanding for more than a few reasons. First and foremost, it’s Terry Funk, who is someone where the more I see of him, the more in awe I am of him. He has been around forever but there is such a reputation there that you can’t help but respect him. On top of that, he is such an awesome promo that you believe every single thing he says.

Then there’s Foley, who is a legend in his own right but you can feel the respect that he has for Funk. It’s such a personal connection and that is the kind of thing that made Foley seem vulnerable. You can see both sides of this and why Foley is angry, but Funk is trying to patch things up and Foley is having none of it. Then Funk pushed every button the Foley told him would work and it all spilled out from there.

In other words, they set up the stakes, they gave it an emotional aspect and then it all played out as it should have. This was two great talkers doing what they know how to do and sucking the fans in the whole way. The history between them made this the kind of thing that was going to work for these two more than anyone else. This was excellent and I was pulled all the way into it at the beginning and never left.

Here’s Matt Striker to insult Texas for not being that smart. Oh and immigrants are bad.

Matt Striker vs. Eugene

Eugene has a big red cowboy hat and Striker cracks up a bit. After a run around the ring with the hat, Eugene gets caught in the corner and the beating begins. A cravate and some shouting has Eugene in trouble, followed by the right hands to the head. Striker calls him a moron, but then does the moronic thing of ramming him head first into the buckle. The comeback is on and it’s the big boot into the legdrop for two. Striker grabs a neckbreaker though and puts a knee on the back of Eugene’s neck before snapping him backwards onto the knee (Zack Ryder’s Zack Attack) for the pin in a hurry. This was fine.

Video on Kane as the movie press junket continues.

We look back at the double title match earlier.

Maria asks Carlito why he attacked Matt Striker and Eugene last week. Carlito ignores the question to hit on her but she likes the Spit Or Swallow shirt. I think you know where this is going and Carlito finds it cool.

Vince McMahon is trying to kiss Candice Michelle when an annoyed HHH comes in. Vince praises him a bit and hands him a sledgehammer to bash Shawn Michaels’ head in. Do that, and it’s a new era. Vince: “Go get em champ.”

Armando Alejandro Estrada introduces Umaga’s opponent. He is the toughest man in Texas, but Umaga (now officially dubbed the Samoan Bulldozer) isn’t from Texas.

Umaga vs. Chris Wellman

The running splash in the corner starts the destruction (Estrada: “I think that hurt.”) and it continues on the floor, complete with a choke toss off the steps for a good crash. Back in and it’s the corner headbutt into the running hip attack into the Samoan Spike for the easy pin. Another total squash.

Smackdown Rebound.

The Spirit Squad has a special cheer for Shane McMahon.

Third look at See No Evil.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kenny

Shane McMahon is guest referee and HHH, with sledgehammer, is in Kenny’s corner. Shawn wastes no time in knocking Kenny outside before hammering away in the corner back inside. Shane gets in a cheap shot so Kenny can hammer away but Shawn takes it to the floor. Some chops rock Kenny but Shane throws Shawn off the top to put him in trouble again. Kenny gets a quick DDT for a quicker two and a jumping back elbow to the face gets the same.

Shane takes off his belt, hands it to Kenny, and can’t help but yawn. The belt goes around Shawn’s throat and we hit the chinlock. Kenny holds Shawn up and Shane tells HHH to do it now. Shawn fights out and hits the flying forearm before taking the belt away to send Shane running.

The top rope elbow hits Kenny and it’s Sweet Chin Music to knock him silly. Shane is back to hit three straight backbreakers and hold Shawn up for HHH. The sledgehammer hits Shane by mistake and knows he screwed up. Cue Vince to wave medics down and hold Shane like he’s been shot. HHH apologizes and leaves to end the show as the match is a no contest.

Rating: D+. This was as good as it could have been as it was angle advancement rather than a match. There was no need for it to be anything else as the Spirit Squad isn’t going to go any higher or lower with or without a win. HHH screwing up and hitting Shane means Vince isn’t going to be happy and you can feel the momentum for the turn coming. They’re taking their time though, as they should. You can’t turn a huge villain like HHH face instantly so he should be taking his time. Oh and Shawn was here too.

Overall Rating: B-. The show was starting off rather well but then it hit a big bump halfway through. The Foley/Funk segment was very good and the opener was very energized, but then the main event and the squash matches didn’t exactly help things. Overall it’s a good show and I want to see where some of these things go, so they’re doing something right. Just get rid of the bad and they’ll have a hit on their hands.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Paragon Pro Wrestling – September 5, 2015: The Toll Man? REALLY?

Paragon Pro Wrestling
Date: September 5, 2015
Location: Sam’s Town Hotel & Gambling Hall, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Jeff Aikin, Todd Keneley

This is an indy company that has managed to get TV time by paying the station to air them. I have no idea of what to expect here and I’ve only heard of a handful of the roster so I’m basically going in blind. I can’t imagine this is going to be a full time thing but why not try it once? Let’s get to it.

The opening video makes this look decent for a low budget act.

The announcers run down the card, including a casket match.

Interviewer Pat Kelly brings out a guy named Hammerstone, a champion who looks a bit like a more muscular Shane Douglas from the early 90s, who is facing Wes Brisco later tonight. Hammerstone has seen Brisco having great matches week after week, but he wouldn’t be here without his famous name. One night thirty years from now, there will be a story of Hammerstone Jr. because he destroyed the legend of the Brisco family starting tonight.

Hammerstone vs. Wes Brisco

Non-title because Hammerstone is a Tag Team Champion. Hammerstone shoves him down a few times to start but Brisco comes back with a hiptoss and starts in on the arm. A running clothesline in the corner staggers Hammerstone (who I believe is the heel here) and Brisco puts on an armbar over the ropes. Hammerstone knocks him to the wooden floor (when do you ever see that?), followed by a fall away slam back inside. The wrestling here isn’t the most intense in the world.

We hit the reverse chinlock on Brisco for a bit before he fights up makes his comeback with every basic offensive move you can think of. Hammerstone is in trouble but here’s a guy named Chamberlain (partner I’m assuming) comes out to distract Brisco, allowing Hammerstone to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’ve seen far worse than this and they kept it basic. I’m assuming this sets up Brisco saying he can get a partner and win the titles to give us a title match and there’s nothing wrong with booking that way. Brisco didn’t do much for me in TNA but he looked acceptable here. That’s a good way of describing this match: acceptable, which is far better than the usual drek you can see on an indy show.

American Title: Ethan HD vs. Darin Corbin

Corbin is defending and billed from the Dude Ranch. I’m not sure if this is the top title in the company but it’s certainly billed as something important. Corbin elbows him in the face to start and stops for a dance, only to eat an elbow to his own face. A standing shooting star gets two on Corbin’s overly ample gut. Ethan gets tied up in the ropes for a shot to the chest, allowing Corbin to tell the fans that he’s naturally beautiful.

We get a Jimmy Del Ray name drop as Corbin loads up the Ginger Snap (looked like a McGillicutter) but Ethan counters into a headscissors into a Russian legsweep. A standing moonsault gets two and my goodness the announcers are underselling this stuff. Corbin gives us a terrible looking ref bump, immediately followed by Ethan kicking Darin in the head for no count. Back up and Corbin grabs a rollup and the trunks to retain at 6:04.

Rating: D. Corbin is called a dude and called himself beautiful and was played up as a hot tempered Irish guy at the same time. With all that, I’m still not sure what he’s supposed to be. It wasn’t much of a match either with both guys just doing moves to each other. Ethan wasn’t bad but he feels like half a dozen wrestlers I can think of off the top of my head.

Post match Ethan snaps and beats up two referees before destroying a bunch of stuff at ringside. Two other wrestlers run in and take chair shots to the ribs.

Kevin Kross, the walking definition of your stereotypical wrestler with short hair, tattoos and a good physique, is all intense and chilling. So he’s their Randy Orton. His nickname is the Toll Man because he’s coming to collect. Seriously? That’s the best you can come up with? He’s a guy who sits in a booth all day and takes someone’s money?

Kevin Kross vs. Mikey O’Shea

Mikey is a good sized guy and dressed almost exactly like Bam Bam Bigelow. Kross goes after him in the corner to start and sends the big guy into the post. Some choking on the ropes has Mikey in more trouble and Kross counts along with the referee. Off to a front chancery on Mikey and a swinging neckbreaker gets two. O’Shea slams him out of the corner but has to elbow out of a Saito suplex. A spinebuster gets two on Kevin but Mikey decides for a sunset flip, only to have Kevin sit down on it and grab the ropes for the pin at 4:33.

Rating: D+. Decent power brawl here with Kross clearly being groomed as a star. I’m still not wild on THE TOLL MAN but at least he won like he should have. Mikey came off like a big power guy who is always going to slip up at the end. Nothing special to see here but Kross is a name I’ve heard of before and he has the intangibles that you need.

We recap Tyshaun Prince vs. Gangrel, which is due to some eliminations in a battle royal. Tonight is the blowoff in a Pine Box (casket) match. The feud looks to have been going on for a few weeks so this is a big deal. Prince has a very stereotypical guy named the Cuban Assassin as his manager and is scared of coffins.

Tyshaun Prince vs. Gangrel

Prince is a huge guy with height and muscle. The Assassin says this match isn’t happening and they’re leaving this horrible place. This brings out Matt Striker, who is the interim commissioner. Striker says this match is happening or there will be fines and suspensions. Gangrel comes out to the awesome Brood music (well at least a rap version with the music in the background) and you have to get a pin or submission before putting your opponent in the coffin.

They circle each other for a bit as Gangrel is clearly the face here. That’s not what I was expecting but it works well enough. Gangrel looks better than he did fifteen years ago. Prince slowly pounds him down and the Assassin guarantees that Gangrel is going in the box. Some right hands stagger Prince and they stop to stare at each other for a bit. Prince sends him into the apron and drives a knee into the ribs to stop a comeback. A bearhug on the floor stays on the back and Prince bends Gangrel’s back around the post. Nice and simple.

Gangrel can’t hit the Impaler on the floor and Prince chokeslams him (he’s big, therefore he chokeslams) onto the ramp. Keneley: “That’s got to be like getting hit by a hot bat.” Huh? Anyway Prince misses a middle rope splash and the Impaler (just a regular DDT)….is pretty much no sold. The Assassin’s interference backfires and another Impaler gives Gangrel the pin at 8:13. So what was the point of the coffin?

Rating: C. That’s on a sliding scale. The match did feel like a big deal but the ending felt flat as it should have just been a regular casket match. Prince is someone who looks good but isn’t much more than a big power guy but he could be something with some polishing. Not a bad match though and it felt like something big, at least for this size of a company.

Assassin is put in the casket instead of Prince, making this whole thing pointless.

Overall Rating: C-. This was fine. A bit boring but fine. They did a mostly decent job of letting me know why I should watch the matches and some of their guys have potential. It helps that they had some known names in there to give the fans someone to care about. I doubt I’ll be watching this again but this was better than a lot of indies I’ve seen over the years.

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Checked Out Rey Mysterio’s Masked Man Beyond the Ring

And I really dug it.  This is the kind of thing I want to see more of as it was basically an 82 minute shoot (well as shooty as WWE is going to get) interview with no matches or anything and a few clips here and there.  It’s cool to slow things down for a change and hear Mysterio’s take on stuff as well as some interesting stories.  Do more of these things, which can’t have a high production cost.




New Japan Wrestle Kingdom IX: Same Old, Same Old

Wrestle Kingdom IX
Date: January 4, 2015
Location: Tokyo Dome, Tokyo, Japan
Attendance: 36,000
Commentators: Matt Striker, Jim Ross

So yet again I’ve been asked to do the biggest New Japan show of the year. I usually can’t stand doing these because I have no idea what’s going on and I really don’t care to know. However, this time the show has English commentary, which could be a solution to a lot of my problems. That being said, Matt Striker is on commentary and I don’t particularly care for him to put it mildly. Let’s get to it.

The pre-show match has Japanese commentary so I apologize for not knowing any stories that I may be missing.

Pre-Show: New Japan Rumble

As far as I can tell, it’s a fifteen man Royal Rumble with pinfall, submission or over the top eliminations and what seem to be one minute intervals. Tiger Mask is in at #1 and Yuji Nagata (remember him from WCW? There’s a good chance you slept through most of his matches) is in at #2. Tiger fires off kicks to start but Nagata bails into the corner. They go to a test of strength followed by a Nagata chinlock until Taichi, who appears to be a rock star and is flanked by lackey bandmates El Desperado and Taka Michinoku, are in all at once at #3, #4 and #5.

The match just stops as the trio gets in, as wrestling matches tend to do in this situation. Tiger Mask takes a microphone to the face and Taichi hits Nagata low for a fast three count from Taka. They can’t throw Tiger Mask over though and Jushin Thunder Liger (again, you might remember him but for much better reasons) is in at #6. The running palm strikes put everyone down and Michinoku is put in the surfboard with a dragon sleeper added for good measure. That always looked awesome.

We must have one minute intervals because Sho Tanaka is in at #7. I’m not sure why but everyone is coming in from the side of the big ramp for a reason that isn’t given. Well maybe it is but I don’t speak Japanese. Taichi is getting beaten up in the corner. Hiro Saito is in at #8 and looks to be about 172 years old. Liger charges right at him but gets caught by a slow motion spinebuster and a backsplash. No eliminations so far.

Another spinebuste and backsplash have Tiger Mask in trouble and everyone except Taichi and company pair off. Yohei Komatsu is in at #9 as Saito is getting double teamed. They really have to double team a guy that old and slow? Tanaka puts him in a chinlock as this is just a standard battle royal with no one trying eliminations. As the brawling circles around the ring, the wide shots showing how big the Tokyo Dome is really are impressive. This place is freaking huge.

Captain New Japan, a superhero/mascot character, is in at #10 and the ring is getting way too full. The Captain uppercuts everyone down and seems to be a crowd favorite. Tama Tonga (Haku/Meng’s son) is in at #11 and crawls along the mat ala Goldust, only to easily dump out Captain New Japan. Desperado hits Liger low and they head to the apron, only to have both guys get dropkicked out to the floor.

Yoshi-Hashi is in at #12 and comes out carrying a big stick, which doesn’t make it into the ring. The match slows way down again with a lot of people just standing around the ropes and now even fighting. Saito gets double teamed again as Liger and Taichi are fighting in the aisle. Manabu Nakanashi is in at #13 and takes his sweet time getting to the ring.

The ring is way too full again and Yoshiaki Fujiwara (65 years old and the inventor of the Fujiwara Armbar) is in at #14, limping out to Flight of the Valkyries. He headbutts Tiger Mask a few times and gets in a lockup with Nagata, which seems to be a big deal. A low blow and headbutt have Yuji in trouble and the 66 year old Great Kabuki rounds out the field at #15. The final grouping is Nagata, Tiger Mask, Taichi, Michinoku, Tanaka, Saito, Komatsu, Tonga, Hashi, Nakanashi, Fujiwara and Kabuki. In other words, WAY too many people.

Again, everyone stops to watch Kabuki get in, which takes far too long as he has to disrobe and play with knunchucks. Taichi and Taka go right for him with Taka taking red mist, sending him right into the Fujiwara Armbar for a submission. Everyone piles on Fujiwara for a pin as the field is getting thinned out quickly. Apparently the mist disqualified Kabuki, who probably couldn’t take a bump anyway. Taichi gets sunset flipped and jackknifed pinned by I believe Funaki and Komatsu (I lost track of who everyone was a long time ago) to get us down to eight.

Saito misses a middle rope backsplash and gets gang pinned as well. Are they really that worried about old guys sticking around? I believe Funaki and Komatsu (they’re two guys who look alike and are wearing identical black trunks) dropkick Tiger Mask out but get surrounded by Nakanashi and Nagata. Nakanashi, who looks like a gorilla, suplexes both of them down and racks Tanaka for an elimination. Tonga gets racked as well but Komatsu makes a save, allowing Tonga to small package Nakanashi for a pin. Tonga pays him back with a DDT and pin, leaving us with Hashi, Tonga and Nagata.

Tama tries a charge and gets backflipped to the floor, only to have Nagata wake up and suplex Hashi in half. Hashi comes back with a hard clothesline but Nagata hooks his kneeling armbar into a cross armbreaker, only to have Hashi get into the ropes. Back up and a bridging belly to back suplex gives Nagata the winning pin.

Rating: D+. I know New Japan is supposed to be the greatest promotion in the history of this planet and all others, but they’re not great at battle royals. That being said, this was clearly just a way to get everyone on the show, which has long since been a tradition on these major shows. However, I really don’t like the guys in their 60s being out there. I know it gives the live fans a thrill, but it looks really sad seeing these guys looking like they do and barely able to move.

We get a long, as in like nine minutes long, video recapping all of the matches. I have no idea what’s going on but it looks really cool.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Titles: Time Splitters vs. Young Bucks vs. Forever Hooligans vs. ReDRagon

This would be like Cruiserweight Tag Team Titles. The Time Splitters are Alex Shelley and Kushida, Forever Hooligans are Alex Kozlov and Rocky Romero and ReDRagon, the champions coming in (as well as the ROH Tag Team Champions), are Bobby Fish and Kyle O’Reilly. The Time Splitters are a Back to the Future inspired team, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. The Bucks are Matt and Nick Jackson and they like to use superkicks. One fall to a finish here. Striker’s advise on how to learn more about these teams: use the Google. So why does he get a paycheck for this show again?

Kushida and Fish get things going with Kushida taking him down by the arm. He rides Fish into a nice technical sequence until both guys try dropkicks. For once it’s not a standoff with Kushida hitting another dropkick, allowing Shelley to tag himself in for a knee to the ribs. The Young Bucks (members of the Bullet Club. Expect to hear that name a lot tonight) come in and are easily sent back to the floor.

The Time Splitters stay on offense but Fish sends Kushida into Shelley, knocking Alex off the apron. Kozlov tags himself in for a headscissors on Fish, followed by a double stomp for two. Fish makes a quick tag to kick Kozlov in the back before it’s back to Fish for a running forearm. It’s still weird to hear the crowd go silent to the point where you can hear almost every sound the wrestlers make. The Bucks try to double team Kyle but Nick winds up kicking Max in the face by mistake. Serves them right.

Back in and Nick tells Romero to suck it, only to have Kozlov kick him in the face. Everyone gets in the ring with Romero nailing everyone with clotheslines in the corner as Striker goes on about Black Tiger. Nick knees out of a double suplex attempt but it’s Kushida coming in to knock everyone down. Max gets taken down by a DDT and Shelley drops Romero with a running knee off the apron.

Now it’s O’Reilly diving off the apron at Shelley but eating a superkick for his efforts. Romero trips up Kushida and dives at Shelley, only to have Kozlov dive on both of them. Not to be outdone, Nick kicks the Hooligans down and Max hits a big corkscrew dive onto all of them. It’s the champs’ turn now as Kushida dives on everyone at once and the Time Splitters take over.

Back inside and the Splitters start using a bunch of Motor City Machine Guns moves, including Skull and Bones but with a Kushida moonsault instead of a splash (Outta Time). Kozlov breaks up an elevated Sliced Bread #2 with a tag (why not wait until after Nick was knocked silly?) but the Bucks start busting out the superkicks.

They have to flip out a double Doomsday Device attempt (that looked awesome) and it’s time for a superkick party. Nick loads up Romero for a tombstone and Max springboard flips into….nothing as he just lands behind Romero as he lands with the, I kid you not, Meltzer Driver. See because it’s an insider name. Kushida drops the champs with a double Tajiri Elbow but takes a double superkick for his efforts.

Fish saves his partner from More Bang For Your Buck and some running knees in the corner set up something like the Demolition Decapitator’s second cousin twice removed (a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker into a middle rope knee drop) for two on Shelley. ReDRagon hits a DDT into a wheelbarrow suplex (cool) on Nick and a super falcon’s arrow sends Max flying. Romero saves Kozlov from Chasing the Dragon (brainbuster/kick to the back combo) but Kozlov takes it a few seconds later for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. This was about what I was expecting and as usual with matches like this one, there’s a firm cap on how high I can rate them. The main things holding this back are the length of the match (cut out about a minute or two and it’s a lot better) and how similar some of the guys out there look. I kept losing track of who was in the ring and who I was watching as they look so much alike and you have to see the backs of their trunks to tell them apart. Still though, really fun opener and good stuff.

So far, Striker and Ross have just been glorified background noise. Then again, it helped that I was familiar with everyone in the preious match.

Jeff Jarrett/Bad Luck Fale/Yujiro Takahashi vs. Hiroyoshi Tenzan/Satoshi Kojima/Tomoaki Honma

Jarrett’s team is part of the Bullet Club, Takahashi is a turncoat and Fale (pronounced Fah-lei) is a monster. Tenzan and Kojima are a legendary tag team and Honma used to be a death match wrestler in Big Japan. Surprisingly enough it’s Ross bringing up Tenzan vs. Savage at Starrcade 1995. It’s a brawl to start the Bullet Club in early trouble. A double headbutt has Takahashi in trouble and it’s Kojima….gently tapping his chest in the corner. The idea is that they’re so fast they hurt more but I didn’t buy it with Kobashi and I don’t buy it here.

Fale runs Kojima over in the corner and it’s off to Jarrett for a Jake Roberts short arm clothesline. Some big shots from Fale set up Takahashi for some cocky kicks to the back of the head. Kojima hits a quick Diamond Cutter and makes the tag off to Honma for some clotheslines and chops. He misses a falling headbutt attempt though and walks into a fisherman’s buster for two. Apparently Honma is a guy who never quits but isn’t that bright. There’s always a role for someone like that in wrestling.

Scott D’Amore (remember him?) uses a Karen Jarrett (remember her?) distraction to send in the guitar but Jeff hits Takahashi by mistake before taking a double belly to back suplex. Fale gets clotheslined to the floor and a 3D from Tenzan and Kojima sets up a falling headbutt from Takahashi (which, according to Striker, never hits. See, THAT is why you have English commentary) for the pin.

Rating: C. Totally acceptable six man tag here which didn’t stick around long enough to overstay its welcome. Jarrett is a great addition to any company, because even though he’s 47, he looks almost exactly the same as he did back in 1999 and wrestles a very smooth style. The rest of the match was fine and the kind of match you need to let the crowd breathe a little bit during a major show.

Toru Yano/Naomichi Marufuchi/Mikey Nicholls/Shane Haste vs. Shelton X. Benjamin/Lance Archer/Davey Boy Smith Jr./Takashi Iizuka

This place loves their tag matches. Benjamin’s team is part of Suzukigun, another big heel stable led by Minoru Suzuki. On the other side, everyone but Yano is from Pro Wrestling Noah, where Marufuchi is the GHC (World Heavyweight) Champion. Nicholls and Haste are an Australian tag team known as TMDK (The Mighty Don’t Kneel. Iizuka turned on former partner Yano to set up this match. Got all that? I do, because there’s English commentary (and Wikipedia) for a change.

It’s a brawl to start with the chubby Yano getting jumped by Iizuka. That’s fine with Yano, who calmly grabs Iizuka’s beard to slow him down. Yano rips off a buckle pad (remember that they’re columns instead of individual pads) but gets blasted in the head with it for his efforts. Thankfully Striker mentions that there’s a metal bar inside, even though the whole thing bent like it was made of paper. Off to Shelton for the Dragon Whip before Archer and Smith hit a Hart Attack with Lance playing Bret. Archer misses a charge into the exposed buckle and bounces head first off the buckle.

TMDK comes in to hammer on Archer and Smith (the Killer Elite Squad), including a powerslam to Smith. Back up and Archer gives Haste one of the biggest chokeslams I’ve ever seen but doesn’t cover. Instead it’s off to Iizuka vs. Marufuchi with Marufuchi firing off a quick series of strikes, only to have Shelton run the ropes and superplex him down. Everything breaks down and Iizuka brings in a foreign (maybe it’s domestic in this case) object but Marufuchi stops him with a superkick. TMDK adds a double gorilla press sitout slam, followed by an uppercut knee from Marufuchi to pin the knocked out Iizuka.

Rating: D+. I didn’t care for this one nearly as much, even though it was shorter. The story helped, but this felt much more like setting up something for later on. TMDK was good and looked like a polished team with potential, but Marufuchi felt more like a standard Japanese guy who would get on my nerves after more than just a few minutes. Yano was overweight and that’s about all I have to say about him. Archer and Smith continue to be a team that WWE seemed to miss the boat on, but the last time I said that it resulted in Tensai.

Minoru Suzuki vs. Kazushi Sakuraba

This is treated as a big deal and you can only win by knockout or submission. I really hope this doesn’t turn into an MMA style match. Naturally, Striker immediately starts talking about UFC and MMA which takes away a lot of my hope. Suzuki is the head of the Suzukigun (Suzuki’s Army) stable. Both guys here are over 45 as age isn’t nearly as big of a deal in Japan. Striker and Ross immediately start calling these two the most important/best MMA fighters of all time, which really means nothing to me as this is a wrestling show, but if you can say they’re the same things online, why not in a company as well?

Feeling out process to start and they head to the mat for a fast paced exchange into a standoff. Suzuki gets on his back and kicks at Sakuraba but has to escape a Sharpshooter attempt by rolling into the ropes. They stay in the ropes for the better part of ever, which makes sense given that you can’t lose by DQ. JR won’t shut up about MMA until Suzuki grabs a triangle choke around the top rope.

They tumble out to the floor and start slugging it out on the ramp as Striker finally mentions the wrestling story here: Sakuraba helped Yano after Iizuka turned on him, triggering the feud with Suzuki. Now why did I have to listen to all that MMA talk first? Sakuraba grabs a Kimura on the ramp, which Striker describes as legendary. The referee breaks the hold and sends Sakuraba back to the ring. Striker and Ross talk about the twenty count in this match not two minutes after saying the match can’t end via countout. Well to be fair it’s better than just Japanese I can’t understand.

Back in and Sakuraba fires off a bunch of kicks and Suzuki looks mildly annoyed. He’s back up at eight though so Sakuraba goes back to the kicks. Suzuki slaps him in the face a few times, probably due to bad psychology for not going after Suzuki’s bad arm. Sakuraba hooks a cross armbreaker but Suzuki gets in the ropes. Again that shouldn’t matter but it’s something you have to live with.

Suzuki takes a nine count (why it’s in English is anyone’s guess) and it’s time to no sell! You knew this was coming at some point. Even kicks to the arm have no effect because adrenaline heal potentially broken arms. Suzuki kicks him in the face, setting up a rear naked choke for the referee stoppage.

Rating: D+. Yeah whatever. I’ve never cared for this style of a match and I still can’t stand it here. I watch wrestling to see wrestling, not old guys doing MMA style stuff. I’m sure I just don’t get some cultural thing here and the Japanese fans seemed to like it but I just do not care about stuff like this. JR and Striker loved it though and it’s very annoying hearing them casually talk about wrestling and then get WAY into the MMA style match.

Never Openweight Title: Tomohiro Ishii vs. Togi Makabe

Never is an acronym for “New blood, Evolution, Valiantly, Eternal, Radical” and this is basically a midcard title. Makabe is insane and Ishii is a guy who wrestled forever before finally winning a title last year. Ishii is defending and comes in with a heavily taped shoulder. They go right to the short range forearms that you see in ROH and my head begins to hurt again. Ishii powerslams him down as this is already a hard hitting brawl. Chops and right hands are no sold for a bit until more chops actually put Makabe down.

Makabe says bring it on and the chops have no effect. Ishii sells some right hands and takes the ten weakest punches in the corner that I can ever remember. They slug it out again until Makabe hooks a quick northern lights suplex for two. Back up and it’s the champ’s turn to no sell forearms and Striker says this is the answer to “is pro wrestling real?” The answer to that would be no, because people don’t usually growl at you when you repeatedly hit them in the head.

Ishii powerbombs him down for two but walks into a discus lariat to change control again. A German suplex (Striker calls it a German suplex hold for some reason) gets two for Makabe so he loads up the super German, only to get knocked into a Tree of Woe. Makabe does a pretty awesome looking situp and a top rope Samoan drop (not a fireman’s carry drop Striker) is good for another two. A huge lariat only gets one for Makabe and frustration is starting to set in.

He’s so frustrated that he no sells a German suplex but gets clotheslined for two. They trade more standing clotheslines until Makabe FINALLY goes after the shoulder…..which doesn’t have much effect. A chop and seated clothesline get two for Ishii and a dragon suplex gets the same for Makabe. They trade more forearms and shout at each other in Japanese until Makabe ax handles him in the chest. About the 38th clothesline gets two more for Makabe and a top rope knee drop of all things gives him the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. This is a hard one for me to grade as I completely get the idea behind the match but I can’t stand it. It’s cool to see people beat each other up, but that growling at each other and no selling the strikes drives me up a wall. All I ask is that you at least stagger a bit and act like it had an effect. Otherwise, it looks like a waste of time, especially when the forearms don’t look all that hard. I’ve never been a fan of this style and I don’t think I ever will be. The ending was questionable too as this needed a big spot, and the Ivan Koloff’s old finisher doesn’t quite do it.

Ads for upcoming shows.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title: Kenny Omega vs. Ryusuke Taguchi

This is basically the Cruiserweight Title and Omega, a member of Bullet Club with the Young Bucks in his corner, is challenging. Ross likens Omega to Brian Pillman as he’s a bit off kilter. Taguchi has been feuding with Bullet Club since the team’s debut, when Prince Devitt (Finn Balor, which Striker mispronounces) turned on Taguchi to found the team. They take each other up to the ropes with only Taguchi (called the Funky Weapon) offering a clean break.

They speed things up until Taguchi hits a Rear View to take over but first, a Rude hip swivel. Omega’s hurricanrana attempt is countered into an ankle lock before Omega is quickly sent to the floor. The Bucks offer a distraction and Omega blasts Taguchi in the eyes with cold spray (used to help with injuries after matches). JR: “That’s not too cool.” Striker: “No but it is too sweet.” It should be noted that Bullet Club does the Too Sweet hand sign to make it even better. Omega gets two off a running elbow in the corner. Nick Jackson: “You’re the worst referee in the business.”

Taguchi blocks a suplex attempt but Omega shows off a surprising amount of power by just muscling him up. He walks around instead of covering though and JR gets back into his old form by asking why Omega isn’t covering. Kenny misses a spinwheel kick and Nick trips Taguchi, only to have the champ sidestep a charging Omega, sending him into the Bucks. Taguchi hits a big dive of his own, making him seem more like a standard cruiserweight. Back in and Omega escapes Three Amigos before taking out Taguchi’s knee.

Kenny’s cover gets two and SWEET GOODNESS his eyes are freaky looking. They’re bugging out of his skull before he loads up a buckle bomb, only to have Taguchi hurricanrana him into the buckle for a sweet counter. Back up and Kenny dropkicks him out of the air, followed by a sweet gutwrench sitout powerbomb for another near fall. A faceplant gets the same on Kenny and it’s back to the ankle lock.

Taguchi mocks the Too Sweet sign but Kenny blocks what looked to be a torture rack attempt and hits a hard German suplex. He throws Taguchi onto his shoulders for an electric chair but drops him down into a driver (the One Winged Angel. He’s a Final Fantasy fan?) for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. This took its time but got rolling eventually. Omega certainly deserved the win here as he was blowing Taguchi out of the water for most of the match. The visuals on his face were outstanding and made the match that much better. Really fun match here with Kenny being all confident but just knocking Taguchi silly with all his his high powered offense. I had a good time with this and liked it a lot more than I was expecting to.

Tag Team Titles: Hirooki Goto/Katsuyori Shibata vs. Doc Gallows/Karl Anderson

Anderson and Gallows are defending and part of Bullet Club, meaning they’re accompanied by Tama Tonga and the Bullet Babe (Gallows’ wife, indy wrestler Amber O’Neal). Goto and Shibata beat them to win the World’s Strongest Tag League in 2014. JR compares Karl Anderson to Arn Anderson which is some of the highest praise you can get.

Goto and Anderson, former partners, start things off with a stalemate out of a quick sequence on the mat. The challengers are in trouble early as they’re sent into each other on the apron and Gallows kicks Goto’s head off for the early advantage. Back in and the champs hit a pair of splashes for two on Goto with a leg lariat getting the same for Anderson.

The monster Gallows comes in (it’s amazing how much better he is with some intensity instead of just being a standard big man) to exchange some clotheslines with Goto and the champ goes down. Off to Shibata who nails a running dropkick as everything breaks down. The champs take running dropkicks in the corner and a double belly to back suplex gets two on Gallows. Anderson comes back with a backbreaker, setting up a standing Demolition Decapitator for two on Goto.

A reverse 3D gets the same on Shibata but Goto breaks up a Tornadoplex (AJ Styles and Tomko’s old move, where Gallows loads up a spinning suplex with Anderson adding a spinning side slam) and AA’s Anderson onto his knee. Gallows chokeslams Shibata for the same but the challengers pop up to double team the monster. A bunch of kicks from Gotp set up a running kick to the chest for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but I didn’t get a big feeling from the title change. Goto and Shibata feel like any two guys who happen to be fighting the champs. The problem here though is I’ve only been told about the history here. A video package of the champs being dominant and then losing to Shibata and Goto in the tournament final would have helped, but the talking about it is far better than nothing.

The new champs sit down in the ring to pose.

AJ Styles vs. Tetsuya Naito

Styles is Bullet Club and Striker plays up the two broken necks from Styles Clashes. AJ goes right after him at the bell and tries the Clash but Naito sends him to the apron. They head outside with AJ moonsaulting to the floor but landing on his feet. Back in and Naito hits a top rope dropkick but AJ comes back with a Stunner on the leg to slow down the high flier. Psychology is fun.

A Robinsdale Crunch sets up an Indian deathlock as AJ keeps mixing up the offense. I love it when people avoid just doing the same moves over and over because there are so many different things you can do. Naito comes back with some right hands and a neckbreaker out of the corner. The knee gives out though and AJ hits that springboard forearm (love that move) to take over again.

AJ tries a suplex into a neckbreaker but slips up on the landing. Yes, people do botch things in New Japan too. A wicked German suplex on Naito looks to set up a faceplant but Naito rolls through for two of his own. Styles pops back up and crotches him on top but Naito backflips out of a belly to back superplex. It jams the knee again though and AJ puts on the Calf Killer (which Striker screws up by calling it the Calf Killer), eventually sending Naito diving to the ropes for the break. AJ fights out of something like a German suplex but gets caught in a dragon suplex for two.

Naito’s leg is suddenly fine so AJ Pele’s him down for a lack of selling. Sunday Bloody Sunday (a single arm implant DDT which used to be Devitt’s finishing move) looks to set up the Clash but Naito backdrops him to the floor. After a quick breather, AJ sends him into the buckle but collapses, allowing Naito to hit a slingshot dropkick. He loads up a top rope Frankensteiner but gets caught in a super Styles Clash (now with 100% less neck breaking) for the pin.

Rating: B. I liked the match and AJ’s offense made perfect sense, but having him in the finisher leg lock and then Naito hitting dropkicks and trying high risk offense made my eyes roll. What good can AJ do if Naito won’t keep selling the leg injury? They had a good story going here though and the action was good enough. Solid match and one of the better AJ matches I’ve seen in a good while. See what happens when you get away from the overrated TNA roster?

Video on Nakamura vs. Ibushi. The two fought as junior heavyweights where Ibushi won a big showdown, so tonight they’re fighting as heavyweights for Nakamura’s Intercontinental Title. This match has received rave reviews with Meltzer giving it five stars (You knew he was giving something on this show five stars) so I’m curious to see how great it is. I’ve only seen one Nakamura match and I liked it quite a bit so hopefully this lives up to that standard.

Intercontinental Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Kota Ibushi

I still can’t quite describle Nakamura but he seems to be something like a Dean Ambrose who marches to his own drum. Ibushi is a very high flier who does a lot of cool looking flips. Nakamura comes to the ring in a robe and a crown to a huge reaction. He certainly has more charisma than almost anyone else tonight. I get a kind of Mick Jagger feel from him and that’s a very high compliment.

They slowly feel each other out by throwing some kicks and Nakamura drives him up against the ropes for some knees to the ribs. The champ offers him a handshake but pulls him in for a knee to the ribs, only to miss the Daniel Bryan running knee. Kota takes him down into the corner and puts his boot on Nakamura’s face, which is apparently a Nakamura signature. That would be proven correct as Nakamura does the same thing to him ten seconds later.

Another knee to the back of the head sends Ibushi to the floor as JR talks about Mr. Wrestling II. Off to a cravate from the champ and we hit the chinlock. Nakamura steps it up a bit and gets some two counts without breaking the hold. That’s a new one. Back up and Nakamura slaps him in the face over and over before they do the face to face staredown. A Backstabber puts Kota down but a hurricanrana sends Nakamura outside, setting up a huge moonsault to the floor.

Back in again and a springboard missile dropkick sends Nakamura sprawling across the ring. Nakamura backflips him to the apron, which Striker attributes to his “veteranness.” Now a normal person would just use the word “experience” there, but Striker seems to prefer to invent words that are more complicated than they need to be in an effort to sound smart. Ibushi’s second missile dropkick attempt is kicked out of the air and a front suplex sets up more knee strikes to Kota’s head.

Another running knee attempt misses and a great looking springboard hurricanrana gets two on the champ. A dragon suplex (WAY too popular of a move tonight) sets up a standing corkscrew moonsault for another near fall. Something like a Chick Kick sends Nakamura into dream land and a Last Ride sitout powerbomb (cool) gets the third straight two count. Kota misses the Phoenix Splash (moonsault into a 450) though and a big knee to the back of the head knocks him silly and both guys are down.

Back up and Nakamura stomps away but Kota just smiles at him. Kota just unloads on him with right hands and Nakamura shoves the referee down for no apparent reason. There’s a cross armbreaker on Kota but he fights up and viciously stomps Nakamura’s face to escape. A reverse T-Bone suplex sends Nakamura flying and Kota hits the champ’s running knee for two. Nakamura is all ticked off now and it turns into a slugout until Nakamura drops down so Kota can hit a standing double stomp. That was a horribly telegraphed spot.

Kota takes him over to the apron, springboards up to the top and muscles the bigger Nakamura up for a German superplex. Ok that made up for the double stomp. Freaking awesome move there. Somehow it only gets two and therefore Nakamura is going to retain. Nakamura headbutts out of something called the Phoenix suplex and elbows Kota in the head.

A middle rope knee to the back puts Kota down but it’s time for FIGHTING SPIRIT, which is Japanese for no selling. They both try knees and collide in a good spot before a fireman’s carry driver (Lucha Underground’s King Cuerno’s Thrill of the Hunt) sets up Nakamura’s running knee to retain.

Rating: A. Here’s the match where I get in trouble. I really liked this one and it’s by far the best match of the night so far, but giving this five stars is a BIG stretch. That would put this on the level of CM Punk vs. John Cena from Money in the Bank, Flair vs. Steamboat (pick one), Undertaker vs. Shawn in the Cell and Hart vs. Austin at Wrestlemania XIII? There’s no way I can see that happening, but this is Meltzer talking about Japan so you have to expect a lot of over hype.

The match itself was indeed very good though and Nakamura thankfully can do more stuff than just the knee strikes. Not a lot more mind you but at least he can mix things up. Ibushi’s strength surprised me here and he looked like someone who could succeed anywhere. Really good match here and worth checking out. It’s not as good as it’s hyped up as, but most matches rarely are.

Nakamura bows to Ibushi post match and grabs the mic to say……I have no idea actually. Striker offers some websites to find out the translation, because the idea of having a translator there on sight is too complicated I guess.

We recap Tanahashi vs. Okada, which is the NJPW equivalent of Rock vs. Austin. They’ve fought time after time now and traded the title for years. Tanahashi is the old guard and Okada wants to be the new top guy.

IWGP World Title: Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Kazuchika Okada

Tanahashi is defending. Okada, 27 here and known as the Rain Maker, has an entrance video of gold coins falling for a nice touch. He also has Gedo, one of NJPW’s bookers and a famous tag wrestler, in his corner. Tanahashi, basically a superhero, plays air guitar on the way to the ring. They lock up after a minute of circling each other until they trade wristlocks. Tanahashi takes him down into a headlock but Okada reverses into one of his own. The champ tries another headlock but gets countered into a headscissors for a stalemate. They’re going for the big match feel here and they’re off to a good start.

They head into the corner and Okada nails him in the face, causing Tanahashi to go straight at him with forearms. He heads to the middle rope though and a hard running elbow knocks him down to the floor. A big boot knocks him over the barricade and an Orton DDT brings him back to the floor. They fight up the ramp where Tanahashi has to block a tombstone attempt. Instead it’s a jawbreaker to stagger Okada but he comes back with something like a Roode Bomb. JR brings up that Tanahashi has a bad back and neck, which is exactly the reason they brought him in.

Back in and Okada elbows him in the jaw but misses a backsplash. A middle rope Swanton gets two for the champ but he gets caught in a majistral cradle into a choke. Again, staying on the neck. A slingshot hilo gets two for Okada and things slow back down. They slug it out with Okada getting the better of it until they grab each other by the hair. The champ heads to the top but has to elbow out of what looks like a Samoan drop, setting up the High Fly Flow (Five Star Frog Splash) but Okada rolls away.

Something like White Noise onto the knee gets two for Okada but the Rain Maker (the move, not the person. It’s a wristlock into a big clothesline, which has been named Best Wrestling Move two years in a row in the Observer. For the life of me I don’t understand the huge appeal. It’s just a clothesline) is countered into a rollup for two. A dragon screw leg whip takes Okada down again and Tanahashi dropkicks the knee out to send Okada outside.

This time it’s Okada being sent over the barricade and getting taken down by a huge cross body. Striker: “Dare I say a Wrestle Kingdom moment???” JR’s silence is glorious. Back in and Tanahashi teases a Rain Maker but takes him down with a Sling Blade (spinning clothesline neckbreaker), only to have Okada pop up and try a tombstone, but Tanahashi reverses into one of his own. High Fly Flow hits Okada’s back and a second hits the chest for a very close two. The camera goes over to a shot of the title in a very nice touch.

Okada kicks away from an attempted Texas Cloverleaf but gets caught in another Sling Blade. Tanahashi mocks the Rain Maker post but walks into the real thing for two, which is the first time he has ever kicked out of it. They slug it out from their knees until Tanahashi reverses a tombstone into a rollup for two. A big slap staggers Okada but he grabs a backslide of all things for two, only to get caught in a German suplex for two.

Okada hits an even bigger bridging German for two more. The Rain Maker is countered into a dragon suplex for two and a big old dropkick catches Tanahashi in the jaw. JR is in full on main event mode here and it’s really working. Tanahashi twists the knee around two more times with Okada in the ropes, setting up the High Fly Flow for no cover. Instead he cranks on the knee even more, setting up a High Fly Flow to a seated Okada, followed by a fifth High Fly Flow to retain the title.

Rating: A-. So when Tanahashi does it it’s a classic but when Cena does it, he’s repetitive and only knows a few moves? I really don’t care for the repetition of a move to get a pin but it’s how main events work today. The knee work didn’t really go anywhere here and Tanahashi never even hooked the Texas Cloverleaf.

I need to get on something more positive here because it sounds like I hated this match. It’s the same rating I gave to them at this show two years ago and it’s about the same level as the previous one. This was a good, back and forth fight with both guys looking like big stars. I wouldn’t call this a classic, but it was certainly worthy of ending the biggest show of the year. They hit a point near the end with the suplexes that got me far more into things and kicking out of the Rain Maker was a nice touch.

Post match Okada leaves but Tanahashi gets on the mic to shout at him. I’m not sure what he’s saying but it doesn’t seem to be angry or mean. With Okada gone, Tanahashi seems to thank the fans but they won’t let him leave. He gives us some air guitar and collapses in a nice bit. We get a quick translation of his comments to Okada: Okada is a long way from being the ace and Tanahashi is proud of his performance. That’s kind of a heelish comment no? He takes a few more minutes to leave and we’re out of here.

Overall Rating: A. As usual, I liked the show but I have no desire to keep watching it full time. There are some very good and entertaining matches on the show and the wrestling is more than good enough to warrant sitting through this once. The worst match for me was the Suzuki match but that’s much more due to me not being a fan of the style than anything else. It’s definitely an excellent show and lived up to (most of) the hype it had. There are a lot of people I’d keep watching on here and that’s not something I often say.

Striker and Ross were fine on commentary though nothing outstanding. They were definitely a positive for the show and experience as a whole as the Japanese commentary can get annoying in a hurry since it’s just gibberish to me most of the time. Striker had some annoying moments but he was FAR better here than he usually is in Lucha Underground. Ross sounded like an old, grizzled veteran but he got into the main event, which is all you really could ask from him at this point. They could have been better, but they were a very welcome addition.

Overall I did like the show and I can see why its fans are so passionate about this company, but it’s just not something I care about enough to keep watching. For the most part I have no reason to care about most of these characters because I don’t follow them enough. The strong style still gets on my nerves and I can’t imagine ever becoming a fan of it. I like my wrestling more character based than in ring based and that’s really hard to do here when I can’t understand what’s being said most of the time.

One last thing: cutting this down to under four hours is a GREAT move. I remember one of these breaking five hours and it felt like a nightmare slogging through the whole thing. Three hours and forty five minutes (not counting the pre-show match) is acceptable for the biggest show of the year and the show never felt like it was dragging. Really good show though and worth checking out if you have the time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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ECW on Sci-Fi – December 16, 2006: Matt Striker Is The Best Villain Around Here

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: December 16, 2006
Location: TD Banknorth Garden Arena, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

This is a special Saturday show, likely due to Sci-Fi airing some horrible movie. The main story is who will be Lashley’s next challenger since Big Show has left the company. It’s not clear if Heyman will still be the main villain but he wasn’t long for WWE either at this point due to how awful December to Dismember came off. Let’s get to it.

We open with another recap of Lashley winning the title at December to Dismember as well as Lashley beating Big Show again last week.

Theme song.

Tonight it’s Lashley vs. the security guards.

Rob Van Dam vs. Test

Test shoves him into the corner to start and stomps him down, only to have Rob come right back with kicks of his own. They aren’t exactly thinking outside the box so far. A spinwheel kick sends Test to the floor and Rob hits a flip dive over the top to take him down again. Rob’s slingshot legdrop gets two but Test sends him into the post to take over. Rob tries to go up top but gets shoved out to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Test working on the arm (not the one that went into the post but at least he’s trying) before slamming Van Dam down. Test goes up but dives into a boot to put both guys on the mat. Rob kicks him in the face a few times but rolls into a clothesline in the corner to give the Canadian control again. Test misses his big boot and crotches himself on the top, allowing Rob to hit a springboard kick to the face for a close two. The Five Star misses so Rob tries a sunset flip, only to have Test fall on top and grab the rope for the pin.

Rating: D. I know Test gets a lot of flack at times and this match is a good example of why he deserves it. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing when we came back with him working on the wrong arm. That’s so basic of an idea that it just shouldn’t be able to screw it up. It’s LEFT AND RIGHT for crying out loud. On top of that the guy just isn’t interesting as a villain at all. Why should I believe Test is a major threat to anyone when all he can do is grab a rope for a pin? Just bad stuff from Test here.

Here’s Matt Striker for his Classroom segment. He insults Boston as the child of the American Revolution, saying it should have been aborted. Striker rips on various Boston icons such as Red Auerback, John Kerry and Ted Kennedy. This brings out Balls Mahoney….who is beaten down by Striker without breaking a sweat.

Sylvester Terkay and Elijah Burke talk about how awesome they are.

CM Punk vs. Hardcore Holly

Punk armdrags and elbows Holly down to start and gets two off a clothesline. A snap suplex gets the same but Hardcore takes him into the corner and ties him up in the ropes. Punk charges into a boot in the corner but comes back with a swinging neckbreaker to put both guys down. Holly gets kicked and forearmed down for two but he counters the bulldog out of the corner and punches Punk in the head over and over for the DQ.

Rating: F. Give me a break. And a new heel please.

Post match Punk puts Holly in the Vice and makes him tap, BECAUSE HEAVEN FORBID HOLLY HAS TO TAP IN THE MATCH.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Daivari

Dreamer wants Khali but gets a talkative Daivari instead. Daivari punches him to get things going and rakes Dreamer’s eyes, only to be caught coming out of the corner. A reverse DDT puts Daivari down and a regular DDT gets the pin for Dreamer in less than a minute.

Post match, Khali Plunges Dreamer again. Are we really building to Khali vs. Dreamer?

We recap Knox dumping Kelly last week.

Bobby Lashley vs. Security Guards

The guards are in masks and this is non-title. There’s no Heyman in sight so I’d assume he’s gone for good now. Lashley treats the guards (the Bashams but never revealed as such) like the dolts they are and throws them into each other over and over. One of the guards hits Bobby with a nightstick as the tagging phase begins. Lashley is beaten down for a few seconds but comes back with ease and throws the guards into each other some more. A spear puts one of them down and the Dominator is enough to get Lashley the pin.

Rating: D-. After the show they’ve put on so far, they really thought this was the right ending? Lashley barely broke a sweat here and destroyed the guards like they weren’t even there at all. How in the world is this supposed to be interesting? I know Vince loves the idea of Lashley because he’s big and muscular, but you need more than that to be a character.

Post match Lashley beats up the guards again to hammer the point home.

Overall Rating: G. Either for below an F or Good Grief this was horrid. Let this sink in for a second: Matt Striker was the best looking heel at the end of this show. The security was easily dispatched, Holly tapped out, Test is too stupid to remember left from right and Daivari lost in 55 seconds. Who is supposed to challenge Lashley? Other than Khali maybe, who would come off as a threat to him? This show needs a major overhaul and it needs one soon.

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On This Day: October 19, 2011 – NXT: Viva El NXT!

NXT
Date: October 19, 2011
Location: Mexican Sports Palace, Mexico City, Mexico
Commentators: Jack Korpela, William Regal

Obviously we’re in Mexico now and we only have two people left. The Young suspension may be a blessing in disguise as it might give them an opening to round out this season after the thirty two weeks they’ve had so far. After last week there aren’t any major loose ends that need to be tied up so maybe there’s a means to an end now. Let’s get to it.

We start in the ring….WITH A CHALLENGE??? Striker has a rope and there are flags around the ring ropes (not the one Striker is holding). It’s a capture the flag challenge. There are only O’Neil and Bateman left. This is worth 15 points to really make sure we make the rest of the challenges before this worthless by comparison. They both have on weightlifting belts and there’s a rope attached on their backs. Whoever can get the most flags wins. And after about 15 seconds Bateman jumps Titus and leaves him laying. Titus wins and the main event tonight is Titus/Percy vs. Bateman and whoever Bateman picks.

Tyler Reks vs. Yoshi Tatsu

Hawkins is limping to the rings with Reks. Reks and Hawkins complain about the injury and Reks sounds nothing like his looks would make you expect. Reks overpowers him to start so Tatsu chops away. Yoshi snaps off a spinwheel kick to take over so Reks, being a modern WWE heel, hides. Reks takes over again and the fans don’t seem all that impressed by him.

An O’Connor Roll doesn’t work for Tatsu and Reks works on the back a bit. Tatsu responds by hitting a big kick to the head…and never mind as Reks beats him down all over again. Yoshi dodges a charge and Reks’ shoulder hits the post. That allows Tatsu to go up top for the spinwheel kick and the pin at 4:33.

Rating: C-. Not much of a match here but it was fine. This was very basic as they were keeping things simple, primarily due to there only being about 4 and a half minutes to work with. Tatsu’s new look hasn’t meant much of anything, but at least he’s not talking about an action figure anymore.

Post match Reks and Hawkins beat down Tatsu but the Usos make the save. I smell a 6 man.

AJ has a note in the back when Kaitlyn comes in. It’s from Horny and he says leaving is the best decision he ever made. Kaitlyn says it’s from Maxine. Kaitlyn, who looks a lot worse with light blonde hair, fights Maxine next.

Kaitlyn vs. Maxine

Both of them look good but Kaitlyn looks better with darker hair. She has great legs though. Maxine is in essence in a swimsuit. Here’s your Maxine fact: her aunt is a careless maiden from Guadalajara who is engaged to a one legged Elvis impersonator who does a great version of Blue Suede Shoes. The match is your usual basic stuff here that isn’t very good.

Maxine hooks something like a dragon sleeper but Kaitlyn falls into the ropes. The fans here do not care at all. All Maxine so far but I’d rather look at Kaitlyn in gold so I’m not paying attention to the match here. Kaitlyn takes over with her horrible looking offense. She hits a Bubba Bomb and then a full nelson with her legs to make Maxine tap (with her foot) out at 4:48.

Rating: D. It’s your usual bad Divas match and more proof that AJ was the best choice for the 3rd season winner. Kaitlyn looks great in tight gold shorts and other than that, she’s about as worthless as anyone else you’re going to find on the roster. Not much here overall and the girls just aren’t that good. Granted this is on NXT so it’s not like anyone is watching them.

Video on how insane Raw has been lately and how its been in chaos, even dating back to Punk winning the title at MITB. This eats up like five minutes.

Kidd turns down Bateman to be his partner. Maxine comes up to yell at him for not being here. She leaves and JTG comes up to agree to be his partner. Oh my.

Percy Watson/Titus O’Neil vs. JTG/Derrick Bateman

Bateman vs. Watson gets us going and Watson shows off a bit. We go to the mat with a headlock as Regal explains exactly where the arm is supposed to be for it to hurt the most. Leave it to an old villain to know that. There’s a double tag and JTG gets his head kicked off. That was a nice touch because I don’t like JTG. O’Neil has black and pink on for breast cancer awareness. That’s always cool.

The good guys double team JTG for awhile and rule the ring as we take a break. Back with Bateman hammering away on Watson which doesn’t work all that well for him. They head to the floor and Bateman hits a missile dropkick off the apron which gets two back in the ring. Off to JTG again who hammers away a bit more. A spinning neckbreaker gets two. Watson tries to fight back and the fans react to it.

This match has somehow been going on for ten minutes. It’s one of those matches where nothing has been going on at all but it’s been happening if that makes sense. Titus finally gets the hot tag that we know has been coming for awhile now. Bateman breaks up the pin but misses a top rope cross body. Clash of the Titus ends this at 10:41.

Rating: D+. The match was pretty boring but the problem with it is that it summarizes the main problem that these guys are having anymore: there is no reason at all for these matches to take place. If we’re just waiting around for the end of the show and the matches don’t really count towards records or standings or anything, what’s the point? I mean, how many times can O’Neil pin Bateman before it stops meaning anything? I think that’s the question they’re trying to answer.

Overall Rating: C-. Not a horrible show but at the same time it reiterates the same issue I just went into: this show is chasing its own tail. We’re no closer to finding a winner of this competition than we were two months ago and the only thing that has really changed is that Young is gone and that’s not even because of the show but rather him being Wellnessed. Young will be able to return in about two and a half weeks and he’ll probably be brought back and we’ll be right back where we were two weeks ago. Such is the life of NXT I guess.

Results
Yoshi Tatsu b. Tyler Reks – Top Rope Spinwheel Kick
Kaitlyn b. Maxine – Full Nelson Leglock
Titus O’Neil/Percy Watson b. JTG/Derrick Bateman – Clash of the Titus to Bateman

 

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Thought of the Day: The WWE Is Wrestling

Matt Striker made some comments after being released from WWE.  Among other things, he had this to say:

Without that company on top of the food chain, nothing else trickles down. There are no independents, there is no Japan, there is no Europe or ‘that other place’ without WWE. So say what you want, but when you strip away all the things you don’t like about [WWE] you have to respect what they do.

While the stuff about Japan and Europe aren’t true, there’s something in there that I think gets overlooked.WWE is so far and away the biggest and most dominant wrestling company in the world that it’s unreal.

TNA is the second biggest company in the US.  Last Saturday night they drew 1000 fans at best to a baseball stadium in Lexington, Kentucky where the majority of the seats cost $15.  Let’s say they made $20,000 in ticket sales.  At Wrestlemania this year, WWE made $12.7 million in ticket sales alone while selling out an NFL stadium.

ROH had one of their biggest moments ever when another company bought them and they were syndicated nationwide.  WWE has had a show on cable TV for over 20 years running now which dominates whatever network it airs on.  It’s publicly traded on the New York Stock Exchange alongside companies like Coca-Cola and Wal-Mart.

Have you ever seen a TNA or Chikara shirt at a retail store?  WWE has a section at Wal-Mart next to stuff like Disney and Marvel Comics.  If wrestling isn’t your thing, go to the electronics section and buy a movie for the night.  If you’re interested, you can get one produced by such studios as FOX, Warner Brothers or WWE Studios.

TNA made a big deal out of getting a two hour timeslot on Spike several years back.  ROH is thrilled by having an hour a week at whatever time you can find them in your area if your area happens to get the Sinclair networks.  WWE has at least 6 hours of new televised shows a week plus several hours of internet content a week.

 

I could go on and on, but you get the idea: WWE is so ridiculously far ahead of everyone else that they are wrestling for all intents and purposes.  If TNA went out of business tomorrow, they would be missed for a bit and then a lot of people would forget about them in a few years.  If WWE went out of business tomorrow, the entire industry would be in chaos.

 

Now go ahead and tell me how wrong I am and how WWE really isn’t all that great.  I look forward to laughing at your false hope.




ECW on Sci-Fi – August 15, 2006: He Monkey Flipped A Ladder. A LADDER.

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: August 22, 2006
Location: Wachovia Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re past Summerslam now and Big Show is still champion, having beaten Sabu at Summerslam. The main event tonight: Big Show vs. Sabu for the ECW Championship. We also have Matt Striker, who is making his ECW debut tonight after a long time on Raw. We also get a bikini contest between Kelly and Torrie, which I’m sure will be riveting. Let’s get to it.

Theme song opens us up.

We open with Torrie and Kelly in their bikini contest. Torrie is in FHM this month. She disrobes first and looks good but Mike Knox stops Kelly from disrobing. Test is with him for the sake of setting up a six man tag. Dreamer and Sandman come in and we’re ready to go.

Torrie Wilson/Tommy Dreamer/Sandman vs. Test/Mike Knox/Kelly Kelly

The girls go at it quickly and the fans freak out. Torrie is in a bikini so we get a Stinkface. So that’s where Kelly learned it. Test and Dreamer come in, thank goodness, with Test poking him in the eye to take over. A trio of backbreakers gets two. Knox comes in and stays on the back of Dreamer as the fans tell Knox that he can’t wrestle.

Test comes in and takes out Sandman before throwing Dreamer in a bearhug. Dreamer finally gets out and hooks a neckbreaker to give himself a breather. Off to Sandman and Knox but it’s Test who gets caught in the White Russian Legsweep. Sandman hits a Swanton (Rolling Rock) on Knox for two. After some interference from Test, Knox misses a middle rope legdrop. Dreamer DDT gets the pin on Knox.

Rating: D. This was a mess and the girls didn’t add anything to it, but they were only involved for about 30 seconds so it’s not that big of a deal. The match was boring though as it was just old school vs. new school which would be the story on this show for months on end. Sandman was a nostalgia act at this point but he got paid for a few months out of it so I can’t complain much there. Not a good match but it got the crowd a bit fired up so I can’t complain much.

Show tells Heyman not to worry tonight because it’s a one on one match with no weapons for Sabu to use.

Matt Striker is in the back and says he’s our teacher. The letters ECW bring about images of barbarism but those aren’t good. Therefore, he’s going to educate us in the future.

Kevin Thorn vs. Balls Mahoney

Extreme Rules. Thorn jumps Balls before he can use the chair and we’re off fast. Balls comes back with right hands and a HARD kick to the face. Out to the floor for a good beating of balls. Back in and Thorn beats Balls with a stick. These jokes write themselves. The stick gets rammed into Balls’ throat (there is such a thing as making this too easy you know) but Mahoney comes back with punches and the Nutcracker Sweet for two. Balls goes to get a chair but Ariel bites him on the way back in. A chair shot and the elevated Stunner get the pin for Thorn. Quick match with more unintentional comedy than anything else.

More Shannon Moore stuff. The system is oppressive I see.

CM Punk vs. Christopher W. Anderson

He’s doing the IT’S CLOBBERIN TIME already. Anderson is introduced as Christopher W. Anderson but screw that, he’s CW Anderson. Anderson takes him into the corner and we actually get a clean break. Joey and Tazz argue over how much coffee Anderson had in the original ECW. They go to the corner again and Anderson kills him with the left, resulting in a left/right joke series from our commentators. Anderson works on the arm in the corner but gets caught in the Vice around the ropes. The knee/bulldog combination conencts but Punk walks into a spinebuster for two. Never mind as it’s strike sequence, Rock Bottom, Vice, tap.

Sabu says he’ll win tonight.

Trailer for The Marine.

Heyman talks to someone and tells them to make an impact tonight. It’s Hardcore Holly and Heyman whispers a name to Holly which Hardcore isn’t thrilled with. Whoever he whispered has been making trouble for Holly in the locker room.

Danny Doring vs. Rob Van Dam

Doring tries to speed things up but gets his head kicked off instead. Danny drops some elbows on the back to take over but Van Dam has had enough of that. The monkey flip sets up the top rope kick and Doring is in trouble. Rolling Thunder hits and the Five Star finishes the squash.

Post match Hardcore Holly jumps Van Dam with a chair. He hits Doring for good measure before giving Van Dam the Alabama Slam.

Highlight video of Summerslam.

Rene Dupree says he’s the best athlete ECW has ever had.

ECW Title: Big Show vs. Sabu

Sabu pounds away to start but gets beaten down almost as quickly. Some LOUD chops put Sabu down so Show picks him up and drops Sabu onto the top rope and out to the floor. We take a break and come back with Show choking away even more. During the break there’s been a table set up at ringside, apparently to taunt Sabu.

Sabu breaks up a bearhug with a poke to the eye. The referee goes down, as does Sabu to a fallaway slam. Sabu uses the referee being down to get some chair shots in, taking Big Show down. Triple Jump Moonsault hits but there’s no referee. Arabian Facebuster hits and a second referee counts two. Sabu gets the bell and clocks Show with it in front of the referee for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t really have time to do anything, but it wasn’t all that interesting watching Sabu get thrown around and then a ref bump followed by a stupid DQ. These two would feud for awhile while we waited to get something better going in the main event. This was fine for a filler feud though.

Post match Sabu hits him again with the bell, busting Show open. He knocks him through the table (great sound effect) and HOKEY SMOKE Show is busted bad. There’s a freaking pool of blood on the ground. It’s legit scary looking actually.

Overall Rating: D+. It wasn’t a great show, but there was a major shift this week as the main event only ran about five minutes (not counting commercial) as opposed to the usual 15 minutes or so it had been getting up to this point. That can be seen as either good or bad, in that it gives more time to other acts, but it also takes away the long match. In ECW’s case though, with just an hour a week, spending ¼ of the show on a single match wasn’t the best idea. The shift here is good and the show had a lot more to it as a result. The problem is the additional stuff here wasn’t that great.

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ECW on Sci-Fi – August 29, 2006: Heyman’s ECW Debut

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: August 29, 2006
Location: Sovereign Center, Reading, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Joey Styles, Taz

It’s another week in and the show continues to be decent, at least in theory. Tonight is all about furthering Heyman vs. Sabu in the battle of ECW past, which is probably the best feud this show has going. Also tonight we have RVD vs. Hardcore Holly, which if I remember right has a scary bump in it, but that might be a rematch later on. Let’s get to it.

We open with Heyman of course. He talks about how this is his creation and how he’s our messiah as usual. Heyman has never wrestled in ECW, although I’d assume that’s probably a good thing. Tonight he’s getting into the ring against…..Sabu. I don’t see this going well. He says that Dr. Frankenstein must destroy his own creation and beat his own child tonight in the ring.

Rob Van Dam vs. Hardcore Holly

This is a followup to last week where Holly jumped Van Dam with a chair. Holly goes right for him but gets kicked down and clotheslined to the floor very quickly. Van Dam puts him on the barricade and this his spin kick to the back. Back in the Alabama Slam is countered but Holly throws Rob to the floor to take over. Off to a HARDCORE chinlock before the dropkick gets two. Van Dam kicks his head off to put both guys down but manages to get up first. A superkick and standing moonsault get two. Windmill kick sets up Rolling Thunder but the Five Star misses. Holly brings in a chair but Rob hits him with it for the DQ.

Rating: D+. That was a pretty lame ending to a pretty weak match. This was only about five minutes long and while they would feud for a few weeks before Van Dam beat him in an Extreme Rules match (meaning this wasn’t the match I was talking about in the intro), this was a bad opener to the feud. Not much to see here.

Rene Dupree rides an exercise bike and says he’s the most extreme wrestler.

Here’s Big Show for a chat. He talks about how dominant he is and how the McMahons saw that. That’s why they enlisted him to help in their battles with DX. You mean it’s not because there’s no way to believe that Vince and Shane can fight Shawn and HHH so they needed to bring in some heavies to do the work for them? DX’s fate will be sealed at Unforgiven in the Cell but if they want, they can come face him here next week.

Shannon Moore says fight the power.

CM Punk vs. Stevie Richards

Richards actually gets an intro. They go to the mat to start and Richards fires away with some chops. Punk knocks him to the floor and hits a suicide dive to take over, but back inside Richards crotches him on the top to slow Punk down again. Off to a bearhug from Stevie but Punk breaks out of it very quickly. Punk hammers away with his strikes and hits a butterfly backbreaker for two. Richards ducks the backfist but walks into the Rock Bottom and Anaconda Vice for the tap.

Rating: C+. This was a nice surprise as Punk got tested instead of rolling over the latest ECW jobber that he was facing. Richards is a guy that never quite gets the appreciation that he deserves, because he’s most remembered as a comedy guy. He could have some entertaining matches though when he was just being himself, which is what you got here. This was a surprisingly entertaining match.

Video on Sabu.

It’s Matt Striker’s Classroom. He says he’s a teacher and he’s here to help. For some reason people don’t cheer for him though, because they’d rather cheer for the Sandman. You know, the guy who drinks “giggle water.” Sandman is constantly drunk and has a Singapore Cane, but Striker’s weapon is his mind. Cue Sandman, but Striker actually beats him down, breaking the chalkboard over his head and hitting him with a stapler before leaving.

Balls Mahoney is in the back and has something to say when Kelly comes up and flashes him. Ok then.

Taz and Joey explain that Angle is gone and wish him the best in his future endeavors.

Paul Heyman vs. Sabu

It’s Extreme Rules. The security guards (the Bashams but I don’t think that was ever revealed on TV) jump Sabu on the way to the ring of course. Since this is ECW though Sabu beats up both guards who are in riot gear, but Big Show makes save #2 for Heyman before Sabu can, you know, kill him. Show CRACKS Sabu’s head with a chair as I’m sure you can get where this is going already. Sabu is busted already and the three guys not named Heyman beat him down with Big Show holding him so Paul can get in a shot.

We get out first table of the night (that has to be a record for ECW as the show is almost over) as Heyman dances around the ring and calls himself the Messiah. Show lifts Sabu up into a gorilla press position to put him through the table on the floor, but of course he holds him just long enough for RVD to come out for the save. Van Daminator takes down Big Show and it’s kicks for the Bashams.

Sabu finally gets his hands on Heyman and destroys him for a bit, even hitting the Arabian Facebuster. Sabu and Van Dam put Heyman on the table but Big Show pulls Sabu out of the air on the dive attempt. That’s always cool to see. Cue run-in #5 (I’ve lost count) in the form of Hardcore Holly. He hits the Alabama Slam to Van Dam through the table as Show hits that walking legdrop thing, giving Heyman the pin.

Rating: C-. This is more ECW’s style: a totally mindless and insane brawl with massive carnage. It was clear what they were going for as soon as they said Extreme Rules, but that’s ok here. They had to do something to keep this from being Heyman getting killed for eight minutes, and having all these people come out allows for more stories to be advanced. Not a good match or anything but it was fun in an insane sort of way.

Sabu gets put through a table to end the show. Heyman makes the sign of the cross over Sabu’s body.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t their best show. The main feud is starting to get some traction but it’s not exactly the most interesting story in the world. Big Show would hold the title for the next three months or so which didn’t really do much for the level of interest in the title. The show here was getting more coherent but it wasn’t exactly interesting.

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