Shiima Xion: From A To DJZ
Date: 2015
Commentators: Joe Dombrowski, Various
Host: Joe Dombrowski

So this is a rather random DVD I got in a grab bag sale a good while ago and I can see why I haven’t wanted to jump into it. What we have here is a look at the Pro Wrestling Ohio/Prime Wrestling career of Shimma Xion, who would go on to be Zema Ion/DJZ in Impact and Joaquin Wilde in NXT/WWE. I’m really not sure that warrants a DVD but I’ve been surprised before. Let’s get to it.

Joe Dombrowski narrates an opening, which is mainly an intro to the first match.

There’s no date given for this but I believe it’s from Pro Wrestling Ohio TV in Lakewood, Ohio on December 15, 2007.

Morty Rackem/Shiima Xion vs. V-Squared

Hobo Joe is with Rackem and Xion while V-Squared is Virus/Virus Grande. V-Squared jump them to start and are quickly knocked outside. Stereo dives take out V-Squared again as we hear about Rackem’s pirate enthusiasm. We settle down to Xion kicking Grande in the face and headscissoring him into Virus. Rackem comes in for a double elbow and a monkey flip out of the corner as this is one sided so far.

It’s back to Xion for two off a dropkick but Grande manages a quick suplex for the tag to Virus. A quickly broken Muta Lock has Xion In more trouble and Grande comes back in for a basement dropkick between the shoulders. Xion fights up and hits a reverse DDT to drop Virus, allowing the hot tag off to Rackem for the house cleaning. Everything breaks down and Rackem grabs some near falls but Grande hits a half nelson backbreaker. Xion gets in a tornado DDT though and Rackem rolls up Virus for the pin at 7:39.

Rating: C. If there was a story behind this one, I wasn’t exactly seeing it. Instead we had a pretty run of the mill match with Rackem and Xion flying around while V-Squared were generic villains. I’m not sure how much this was for a Xion showcase but it shows him early in his career, even if he didn’t do much here.

From January 24, 2010 in Niles, Ohio at a Pro Wrestling Ohio/Championship Wrestling Extreme joint show.

CWE Undisputed Title: Michael Facade vs. Hallowicked vs. Jigsaw vs. Shiima Xion

Facade (The Suburban Terrorist) is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Xion and Jigsaw start things off as apparently this has tags. They go to the mat to start with Xion’s headlocks not getting him very far early on. Xion works on the arm but Jigsaw is right back up as they’re still firmly in the “let’s flip around and not do much” gear. Facade comes in for a high crossbody on Jigsaw before Facade and Xion hit stereo running dives to the other two.

Back in and Facade kicks Hallowicked in the face but Jigsaw drops Facade with a clothesline. Hallowicked takes over on Facade before handing it back to Jigsaw as this has turned into something of a tag match. We hit the chinlock on Facade for a bit, followed by wheelbarrow into a gutbuster to give Hallowicked two. As expected, Jigsaw and Hallowicked get in an argument over the cover as commentary reminds us that Xion is in fact in this match. facade grabs a double DDT to escape and it’s back to Xion.

Everything breaks down and the villains are sent outside, leaving Facade to suplex Xion for two. Jigsaw rolls Hallowicked up for two but Facade takes them both down. A running STO gives facade two on Xion but Jigsaw tries to superkick Hallowicked. With that broken up, Xion superkicks Jigsaw into a German suplex, allowing Facade to get two off a rollup. Facade finally grabs la majistral to pin Hallowicked and retain at 11:39.

Rating: B-. It got better near the end as everyone just started doing stuff and Facade won. Sure it’s cliched, but I’ll take it over a pretty dull tag match. Facade always feels a little bit different than most stars and he did it again here. The villains did their thing well enough, but this really felt like a tag match over a four way. Much like the opener though, you would have almost no idea that this was on a Xion DVD as he was the least important of all four involved.

Xion is now rather heelish and brags about his Filipino looks and physique, complete with hairspray. He’s coming to us from “the finest sweatshops, straight out of Manila.” Obey the spray.

From Pro Wrestling Ohio TV, possibly sometime in mid-2011.

Shiima Xion vs. Ben Fruith

Fruith seems to be quite the nerd. Xion applies some hairspray and they fight over wrist control to start. Fruith is sent into the corner but avoids a charge and comes out with an armdrag into an armbar. Back up Fruith has to slip out of a bell to back suplex and gets a rollup (yes, it’s called the Fruith Rollup) for two. Not that it matters as Xion pulls him into a crossface for the tap at 3:47.

Rating: C. This was at least something of a showcase for Xion, which is what this has been needing so far. Fruith was little more than a guy who seems to be a bit out there and having Xion squash him made more sense. There wasn’t much to the match, but at least it was about Xion this time. This was also a much more interesting Xion, who was showing some more personality and charisma.

Post match Xion hair sprays Fruith’s eyes.

No date given on this one,

Shiima Xion vs. Michael Facade

Xion bails to the floor to start before coming back in for Facade to crank on his arm. Xion reverses that into a headlock takeover but Facade is right back up with a dropkick into the corner. The armdrag into an armbar has Facade in control, only to have Xion fight up and hit a dropkick. A middle rope moonsault gives Xion two and we hit the chinlock.

Back up and Facade misses a charge and falls out to the floor but comes back in with a rope walk dropkick. Back in and the Arabian moonsault hits Xion’s raised knees, meaning Xion can grab the crossface. Facade rolls out for the escape and grabs a rollup for the quick pin at 8:17.

Rating: C+. Facade is someone who can move around in a different way than a lot of people and it makes him easy to watch. That was the case in the four way earlier and it’s the same thing here. What’s also the same thing here is Xion not having much success, as this continues to be one of the stranger DVDs I’ve ever seen.

Post match Xion hits him with the can of hair spray before grabbing Facade’s spray paint. Two other guys run in to break up the blinding.

From some point after that match, Facade talks about losing a triple threat match with Xion jumps him. Xion loads up the spray paint, which his kids like to use on walls. He would be mad at that if he knew his kids’ names and then sprays the paint into Facade’s eyes.

From another Pro Wrestling Ohio/Championship Wrestling Extreme show in Niles, Ohio on May 2, 2010.

Championship Wrestling Extreme Undisputed Title #1 Contenders Tournament Semifinals: Shiima Xion vs. Louis Lyndon

Lyndon is also Facade’s friend and is fighting for his honor. Feeling out process to start until Lyndon kicks at the leg and scares Xion away. A German suplex gives Lyndon a fast two and some armdrags put Xion on the floor. That’s fine with Xion, who sends him face first into the apron and drops a leg back inside.

Xion crotches him on top and gets in the crossface in the corner (that’s a new one). A high crossbody gives Xion two but Lyndon is back with a jumping knee to the face, followed by a pump kick for two. Xion is right back to the (non-corner) crossface, which is stacked up for two and the escape. The hair spray is loaded up but the referee takes it away, allowing Lyndon to grab a dragon suplex for the pin at 6:51.

Rating: C+. Another completely decent match but I have to wonder what in the world is up with Xion losing almost every match on the set. We’re coming up on the halfway mark and unless Xion comes up with a heck of a winning streak, he’s going to come out of his own DVD with a losing record. Lyndon was just another guy who was fine enough but didn’t quite stand out, leaving me wondering why this was included.

From….apparently the same day, at an outdoor Pro Wrestling Ohio show this time in Berea, Ohio.

Pro Wrestling Ohio TV Title: Shiima Xion vs. Aaron Draven

Draven is defending (apparently having won the title at the same show from the previous match) and grabs a headlock to start. They go to the mat and fight over some hammerlocks until Draven gets a wristlock. Draven pulls him into an armbar as commentary ignores the match to talk about the main event. Xion kicks a standing moonsault out of the air, allowing him to get in some hair spray (to his own hair for once).

The chinlock goes on for a bit before Xion switches to choking on the ropes. Draven manages a Rocker Dropper for a breather and a high crossbody gets two. A missile dropkick gives Draven two more but Xion drops him face first onto the turnbuckle. Xion goes up but cue Michael Facade for a distraction, allowing Draven to hit a super Spanish Fly to retain (Maybe? The intro said it was for the title but commentary said it was non-title.) at 6:49.

Rating: C. My goodness this is already beyond ridiculous and it just keeps happening. Are we supposed to think of Xion as a loser after watching this thing? Anyway, another completely fine match and at least Xion lost via interference, but it would be nice to see him winning something on his own special.

Post match Facade runs back in and spray paints Xion’s eyes.

The voiceover talks about how Xion left for six months before returning to Prime Wrestling. Haven’t heard of Prime Wrestling? It’s the renamed Pro Wrestling Ohio, but that isn’t mentioned here as this DVD somehow gets worse and worse.

From Pro Wrestling Ohio TV (because it’s Pro Wrestling Ohio again) in Niles, Ohio, sometime around November 2010.

Shiima Xion vs. Jason Gory

Before the match, Xion talks about how he hasn’t been around for a bit and wants Michael Facade but can’t find him. Therefore, he wants anyone out here now and gets….Gory, who was mentioned by the voiceover. Xion takes him down with a headlock to start and grinds away. Back up and a running hurricanrana takes Gory down again but he grabs his own to send Xion onto the entrance ramp.

There’s the big running flip dive to take him down but Xion takes over again back inside. Gory slugs away though and grabs a Code Red for two. Xion hits a belly to back suplex flipped into a facebuster and they chop it out. Lust To Dust (forward Diamond Cutter) out of nowhere finishes Gory at 6:42.

Rating: C+. Well at least he won. It was against a guy in his second match in the promotion and didn’t last long but it’s better than another loss. If nothing else, it’s nice to see that Xion actually has a finishing move, even if it’s not one of the better options. Good enough match here, as Xion gets ready for his next match with Facade.

From Pro Wrestling Ohio: Pressure Rising.

Shiima Xion vs. Michael Facade

This is the big showdown after the exchange of eye attacks. Facade goes after him to start and Xion bails into the corner. After a chase on the floor, Facade grabs a springboard armdrag back inside and gets to hammer away. Xion misses a clothesline and gets caught with a springboard moonsault press for two. Some shots to the face finally slow Facade down and we hit the double arm crank.

Back up and Xion gets sent into the corner, setting up a Samoan drop for two. Facade gets his knees up to block a moonsault though and a bulldog drops Xion again. A superkick rocks Xion but Facade dropkicks the referee down (thanks to Xion pulling him in the way). They both grab their spray cans but miss the blasts to the face. Xion sends Facade into the corner, only to come back and reverse the hair spray into Xion’s face instead. A sitout Tombstone finishes for Facade at 7:02.

Rating: C+. We spent the better part of the last hour building up this match and it’s seven minutes long? I liked the ending and it was about as perfect of a way to wrap it up as they could have gone but I was expecting more from this showdown. The match itself was good, but not exactly a classic.

From some time after March 12, 2011 on Pro Wrestling Ohio TV.

Shiima Xion vs. Matthew Justice

Justice starts with an armbar as this show appears to be in a flea market or something similar, with customers walking around behind the crowd. An armdrag sets up another armbar to cut Xion off before a crucifix gets two. Xion grabs an atomic drop into a pair of boots to the face for two of his own.

We get the pose including the hair spray to the hair but Justice knocks him away and hits a middle rope sunset flip for another near fall. There’s a powerslam to plant Xion but he’s right back with the crossface. Justice is able to power up for a Death Valley Driver and a near fall so Justice heads to the apron. The springboard clothesline is pulled into the crossface though and Justice taps at 7:08.

Rating: C+. I’ve liked what I’ve seen from Justice before and he did well enough here, though Xion seemed to be a bigger star and the more logical pick to win. If nothing else, Xion needed a win coming off the loss to Facade and he did well enough here. It would be nice if Xion evolved a bit, but that doesn’t seem likely anytime soon.

Post match Xion hair sprays Justice.

From some other unspecified show.

Shiima Xion vs. Gory

Crimson, seemingly some kind of an evil force, leads Gory to the ring on a leash. Xion takes him to the mat to start before armdragging him into a front facelock (he’s wrestling much less evil here so we might have missed a change). Gory knocks him outside for a beating from Crimson and the choking is on back inside.

A slingshot elbow gets two for Gory, who shrugs off a middle rope crossbody and chokes away some more. Xion jawbreaks his way to freedom and slugs away before hitting a rather hard clothesline. Crimson’s distraction lets Gory Codebreaker him out of the air for two but cue Facade to distract Gory. Xion is able to grab a small package for the pin at 5:54.

Rating: C. This was a slightly different Xion and after watching him do the same thing for so long, it’s nice to see him getting to mix it up a bit. At the same time, this was another short match that didn’t get the chance to do anything. Anyway, at least it was something out of the ordinary, which is one of the best possible options.

Post match Facade and Xion stare each other down and don’t seem to like each other.

Another undated match from Niles, Ohio.

Shiima Xion vs. Gory vs. Michael Facade

For a future Pro Wrestling Ohio TV Title shot. Facade and Xion go at it to start but Gory quickly takes Facade’s name to go after Xion. With that not working, Xion is sent to the floor for a change, leaving Facade to send Gory outside. The rope walk dive hits Gory but Xion takes Facade down. Back in and Gory hits some rapid fire legdrops for two on Xion but Facade hits a springboard spinwheel kick for his own two on Gory.

Back up and Gory serves as the base for a Tower Of Doom, followed by the exchange of rollups for two each. Gory Backstabs Xion for two, with Facade making the save and taking him down as well. A sitout Alabama Slam gives Xion two on Facade, who is right back up with a springboard bulldog to Gory. Cue TV Champion Bobby Beverly to jump Facade for the DQ at 8:54.

Rating: B-. This is another match that was starting to get good before they wrapped it up out of nowhere. There is a good chance that this is going to result in a four way for the title anyway, which is not the worst idea as they were doing some good stuff. That being said, can we get another match to break ten minutes already?

Post match the beatdown stays on until Beverly finally leaves.

From another unspecified date in 2011 in Niles, Ohio.

Michael Facade/Shiima Xion vs. Bobby Beverly/Gory

Beverly grabs Facade’s wrist to start and shoves him down, only to have Facade tie up the leg on the mat. Gory comes in but gets shouldered down as Beverly has a seat at ringside. It’s off to Xion for a running boot to the face so Facade can come back in for a front facelock. Facade chops Xion for a tag so Xion chops Gory, saying that’s how Facade did it. A slap tag brings Facade back in but the argument lets Gory get in a shot to take over.

As commentary talks about Kevin Nash coming in for an upcoming show, Beverly comes back in for two off a suplex. Facade scores with a spinwheel kick and it’s back to a less than enthusiastic Xion. A springboard DDT hits Beverly but Xion superkicks Facade by mistake. Xion’s middle rope moonsault hits raised knees and Gory spikes Xion with a kneeling Tombstone. Facade takes Gory out by Beverly pins Xion at 8:04.

Rating: B-. And Xion losses again. Yeah it was to the champion, but they couldn’t make Xion feel less important if they were trying to with this set. This was your standard way to set up a multiman match and the action went well. Just come up with something better for Xion on the DVD ABOUT XION.

Then Xion signed with Impact Wrestling (as Zema Ion and later DJZ) and didn’t get to wrestle in the four way title match.

About eight minutes of trailers for other DVDs wrap us up.

Overall Rating: D+. What was that? There were 12 matches on here, Xion lost about half of them, and wasn’t even the focal point in more than a few of them. It was more a look at Xion’s feud with Facade than anything else and even then it didn’t feel like a special story. I’m not sure why this needed to exist as it’s basically a look at a short stretch of time for a midcarder in a middle of the road independent promotion.

On top of that, even the best matches were only decent at best. It didn’t make Xion look like a star and feels like nothing more than a cash-in on someone who became a bigger deal elsewhere. Pretty lame here, with one of the weakest DVD collections I’ve seen from just about anywhere.

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Joey Janela’s Spring Break 6 Night Two
Date: April 1, 2022
Location: Fair Park, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Dave Prazak, Kevin Gill

It’s the second half of the show and in this case, it needs to get a pretty big upgrade over the first half. Night one was a decent enough show, but it wasn’t memorable, which is the point of a show like this. Now that being being said, this show is built around the Clusterf*** Battle Royal, which could be quite the mess. Let’s get to it.

Here is Night One if you need a recap.

We open with Joey Janela talking about beating Sean Waltman last night and wanting his flowers. He wonders why the fans hate him now but Spring Break needs a lethal dose of poison to turn it back into what it is supposed to be. This year, he is entering the Clusterf*** so he can end it once and for all. Maybe just don’t run it then?

Matt Cardona vs. Chris Dickinson

Chelsea Green is here with Cardona, who is currently the king, meaning yes he does have a Macho King crown. Green gets in an ALL HAIL THE DEATHMATCH KING and the fans are all over Cardona again. Cardona insults GCW and says they are the power couple of wrestling. Six years ago, he won the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania, but now he’s in this piece of garbage ring. If he was in WWE, like he should be, he would be celebrating his friend Mark Calaway, who he will see in the Hall of Fame one day.

Dickinson comes out with….MISSY HYATT to even things out, which is one of those names that makes this show feel fun. Both pairs share good luck kisses before the match, with Hyatt’s leaving Dickinson woozy. Dickinson wrestles him to the mat to start but Cardona is up to yell at Hyatt. That doesn’t work well for Dickinson, who grabs a cross armbreaker to send Cardona bailing to the floor.

Back in and Green grabs Dickinson’s foot for a distraction so Cardona can stomp away. After throwing his shirt at Hyatt, Cardona chokes with the wrist tape and then his hand for a bonus. The running forearm drops Dickinson again and a neckbreaker gives Cardona two. It’s already door time but Cardona spends too much time mocking the crowd, allowing Dickinson to backdrop him through the door in the corner.

The slugout is on with Cardona going to the eyes, only to get blasted with a running clothesline. The brainbuster gives Dickinson two but Green offers a distraction, allowing Cardona to nail a spear for two. Missy finally grabs Cardona’s boot and slaps Green, allowing Dickinson to hit a Death Valley Driver for two of his own.

Green offers another distraction so Cardona can hit a low blow into the Rough Ryder for two. Now it’s Green coming in and hitting Cardona with Missy’s loaded purse by mistake, allowing Dickinson to clothesline her down. The toss Razor’s Edge is enough for Dickinson to pin both of them at once at 12:43.

Rating: C+. You really can see why the GCW fans can’t stand Cardona in this run as he is one of the most annoying and obnoxious heels you could want to see. He is playing up the idea of being a big shot and that is one of the best ways to get heat from anyone. Dickinson is a decent power guy and looked good here, though Missy kind of disappeared for large chunks of the match.

Biff Busick vs. Tony Deppen

Feeling out process to start with Deppen trying to go to the mat to little success. Back up and Busick goes to the armbar, which has Deppen bailing to the ropes. Busick chops the heck out of Deppen, whose chops back have no effect. They head outside with Busick uppercutting away but a chop only hits the post. With Busick trying to shake it off, Deppen hits a flip dive off the apron and they head back inside.

Busick is fine enough to knee him down and the figure four necklock sends Deppen to the ropes again. Back up and Busick gets a little more violent by holding Deppen in place for some slaps to the face. Deppen is smart enough to go after Busick’s bad hand but Busick hits a running uppercut to take him down again.

Busick misses a charge though and Deppen hits a suicide flip dive for two back inside. Back up and the slugout goes to Busick until Deppen goes for the hand and grabs a Kimura of all things. With that broken up, Busick wins another strike off but Deppen avoids a charge in the corner. A running knee finishes Busick at 11:40.

Rating: B-. Sometimes you need two people to hit each other really hard and you got at least half of that here with Busick’s beating. Busick might not be a star in the making, but he’s an established hard hitter in the middle of the card and that should be enough to get him quite a few jobs. At the same time, you have Deppen as one of the better heels I’ve seen in a bit, as he is just straight up unlikable. Keep going with that and he’ll be fine.

Post match Deppen thanks Busick for the match but tells anyone who doesn’t believe in him what they can kiss.

Mike Bailey vs. Jordan Oliver

Bailey does his bow and they shake hands to start. Oliver does his pose so Bailey kicks him in the face and strikes away but Oliver is back up with chops of his own. Bailey’s leapfrog is countered into a faceplant and Oliver sends him outside for a big dive. Some kicks send Oliver through some chairs though and Bailey knees him in the chest.

Back in and Bailey kicks him in the chest for two, followed by the YES Kicks to make it worse. Bailey hits a running kick to the face in the corner and they strike it out again. Oliver snaps off a release German suplex and a sitout powerbomb for two but Bailey sends him outside. There’s the springboard moonsault to the floor and they strike it out on the apron.

Bailey gets the better of things and hits the moonsault knees, setting up the bouncing kicks back inside. The big kick to the head looks to set up the Ultimate Weapon but Oliver counters it with a cutter. A handspring cutter gets two so Oliver goes up, only to get pulled down with something like a One Winged Angel for the pin at 10:01.

Rating: C+. As is usually the case with Bailey, the action was good but he continues to have such a punchable face that it is hard to get into his matches. The good thing here was he didn’t have the stupid no selling that drags down every good thing he does, making this slightly easier to watch than most of his matches. Oliver has come a long way but still has a good bit to go before he moves up to the next level.

Effy says he shouldn’t be here but tonight he’ll beat Minoru Suzuki, have his own show tomorrow, and then maybe he’ll come for some gold.

Effy vs. Minoru Suzuki

Allie Katch is here with Effy. They both stick their jaws out with offers of a free shot but Effy’s attempt at a kiss gets him slapped. Suzuki slaps him down and then a kick to the face puts Effy on the floor. They head outside with Effy telling him to chop as hard as he can. That’s fine with Suzuki, who mocks Effy’s return chops.

A big boot sends Effy through the chairs and Suzuki cranks on the arm back inside. Effy tries some forearms but gets dropped with a single one from Suzuki. Then Effy bites Suzuki’s nipple and northern lights suplexes him for two. The big kiss staggers Suzuki but it’s a slap to the face and the Gotch style piledriver to give Suzuki the pin at 9:04.

Rating: C. Effy’s stuff may or may not be your cup of tea but Suzuki more or less squashed him here in a match with little to no doubt about the outcome. Effy was doing little more than comedy here so it isn’t like there was much to get annoyed about. They were going for the “wouldn’t it be funny if these two wrestled” idea here and I’ve seen worse versions.

Greatest Clusterf***

So this is basically a Royal Rumble, but only in the very loosest of terms. There are no set time intervals and I don’t believe there is a set number of entrants. I’m not going to be able to keep track of all of the eliminations, as I’ve never seen a version of this where they are all announced. This is going to be about total chaos and some surprise entrants and nothing more. You can be eliminated by pinfall, submission, over the top, leaving the building and…death?

Joey Janela is in at #1 and Buff Bagwell is in at #2 for your first surprise. Granted Buff is on a crutch but he has the American Males theme so this could be a lot worse. Janela wants to strut with him but it’s a superkick to get rid of Buff very quickly. George Gatton, with an unidentified title, is in at #3 and it’s a superkick into a piledriver to get rid of him too. Judas Judd Cassidy (I think?) is in at #4 and gets thrown over the top just as fast.

Yoya is in at #5 and suplexes Janela but gets caught in a heck of a package piledriver for the pin. Billie Starkz is in at #6 and a Gory Bomb takes Janela down but he raises knees to block her Swanton. That’s it for Starkz and it’s Juicy Finau (a big guy) in at #7. Janela can’t suplex him so Finau does it to Janela instead and it’s the even larger Sam Stackhouse, in Bam Bam Bigelow inspired gear, in at #8.

That leaves Janela to get crushed in the corner by back to back splashes but Stackhouse misses an ugly moonsault. Janela tosses both of them and it’s Rhett Titus in at #9 as Janela keeps up his Brock Lesnar-esque run. Titus wrestles him down and hits the running boot in the corner until it’s the Invisible Man in at #10.

So we have the Invisible Man, Janela and Titus with Titus and the Man slugging it out. The Man gets the better of both of them but an elbow to the face lets Janela and Titus beat him down. A double suplex lets the two of them pose but Man is back with a double low blow. The Man throws out Titus but gets stomped down until Dante Leon is in at #11. They waste no time in the next entrant with Ninja Mack in at #12.

Leon and Mack are long time rivals so they pose at each other before superkicking Janela down. A shooting star piledriver drops Mack and it’s a sick looking Jimmy Lloyd in at #13. Janela and Lloyd put on masks and they rehash their Social Distancing match, meaning they punch from a safe distance. Mack isn’t having that and kicks Lloyd down, setting up the running flip dive to drop Janela on the floor. Back in and Lloyd runs Mack over for the pin and Early Morning Guy Steele is in at #14.

Steele doesn’t seem to know what he is doing and falls off the top as Janela and Lloyd watch from the middle of the ring. Then Steele gives them a running double Blockbuster and a Canadian Destroyer each. Then he goes up top for a 450 to Lloyd, only to get rolled up for the pin from Janela. That was a weird one and it’s Blake Christian in at #15. House is cleaned but the Invisible Man hits Christian low. That earns him a dropkick and it’s Kevin Blackwood in at #16.

Blackwood’s suplex gets two on Leon and stomps on Janela in the corner until Hoodfoot is in at #17. Hoodfoot and Blackwood slug it out until Slade is in at #18. Young Dumb And Broke (Charlie Tiger and Ellis Taylor) are in at #19 and #20, giving us Janela, Invisible Man, Leon, Lloyd, Christian, Blackwood, Hoodfoot, Slade, Tiger and Taylor as this is far more organized than I was expecting. Everyone hits everyone until Deranged is in at #21 to clean house. With that going nowhere, Grim Reefer is in at #22 and has a smoke.

We now pause for everyone to partake, including Janela, who says he isn’t with AEW anymore and can do what he wants. Janela runs to the back (I don’t think he’s been eliminated but who can tell around here?) and Sandra Moone is in at #23. Reefer clotheslines her down and it’s Parrow in at #24. House is cleaned with Deranged and Reefer being eliminated almost immediately.

Big F’N Vin is in at #25 as Janela is having some Cheetos. Vin kicks Parrow out without much trouble as Janela wants to know his next spot. Nate Webb is in at #26 and comes through the crowd, who sings his theme music. Lloyd gets dropped by the Invisible Man, who hammers on Webb in the corner. Janela superkicks the Invisible Man though and tosses him out, much to the fans’ annoyance. Webb misses a charge and gets low bridged to the floor and Hoodfoot is tossed as well.

Shazza McKenzie is in at #27 and goes after Janela to start the beating. Janela gets in a shot to the face though and grabs a door, only to have McKenzie spear him through it. Janai Kai is in at #28 and Jazzy Yang (Jimmy Wang’s daughter) follows her at #29. The four women in the match stare each other down and it’s Edith Surreal in at #30. That gives us Janela, Leon, Lloyd, Christian, Blackwood, Tiger, Ellis, Moone, Vin, McKenzie, Kai, Yang and Surreal, assuming I didn’t miss any random eliminations.

Dark Sheik, another woman, is in at #31 and we have a six woman showdown. Uh make that seven as LuFisto is in at #32. Some of the guys come in to go after the women, with Leon and Taylor being tossed out. The women all beat up Tiger and toss him out with Vin joining him. Then the women get into it, with Kai kicking out LuFisto. Moone is out as well and McKenzie hits a Stunner on Kai for the elimination. Janela comes back in to superkick McKenzie for the pin and it’s Maven of all people in at #33.

Everyone stops to look at him so Maven hits a bunch of dropkicks….and then walks out for an elimination. Fans: “THANK YOU MAVEN!” With everyone else pairing off, Sean Ross Sapp, yes the dirt sheet writer, is in at #34, drawing a WE WANT MELTZER chant. Sapp gets a mic and begs people to subscribe to Fightful Select so they can read about GCW wrestlers getting fired by AEW. Josh Barnett, former UFC Heavyweight Champion, is in at #35 but fellow writer Denise Salcedo (not in the match) comes in to low blow Sapp and toss him out.

Nasty Leroy is in at #36 and Barnett blasts him with a clothesline as Jimmy Wang Yang is in at #37. Yang manages to take him down (not the prettiest but it worked) so Jazzy (remember, Yang’s daughter) comes in to grab the leg, which apparently counts as a submission to get rid of Barnett. Jazzy rolls up Lloyd for an elimination and it’s Alec Price in at #38. Price tosses Yang and dances a bit before getting kicked in the face by Jazzy. That’s enough for Price to toss her as well and it’s Cole Radrick in at #39.

Radrick and Price wind up on the apron and it’s a double elimination. Brandon Kirk is in at #40, giving us Janela, Christian, Blackwood, Slade, Surreal, Sheik, Leroy and Kirk (I think at least). Sheik hits Kirk low as we’re told Slade has left the building. Janela runs the ropes a lot until Lord Adrean (a Wal-Mart Guy) is in at #41. Adrean cleans house and Tombstones Kirk for the elimination, only to get Death Valley Drivered by Janela for another elimination. Kevin Matthews (you might remember him as KM in Impact) is in at #42 and stares it down with Leroy.

A not great looking Rock Bottom plants Matthews and a worse Rock Bottom sets up a leglock for the tap as Janela busts a gut laughing. Then Janela hits Leroy low and pins him and it’s Nick Wayne in at #43 for a brawl on the apron with Janela. Wayne superkicks Janela out for one heck of a pop and here is B-Boy to introduce Team LA Fights, which are six unnamed people. The team (Jai Vidal and Jack Cartwheel are two of them) clean house and something like a Styles Clash into a sitout powerbomb gets rid of Blackwood.

With those six in at #44-49, the Second City Crew (AJ Gray/Mance Warner/Matthew Justice/1 Called Manders and Levi Everett) are in #50-#54. The Crew cleans house with Matt Vandagriff (of LA Fights) being tossed. Damian Drake and Ju Dizz (I think) are both out with Hunter Freeman joining them. Cartwheel gets knocked out but walks on his hands until Manders chairs him down for the elimination. Vidal is tossed out and the Crew is left alone until the others still in the match come in.

Christian and Wayne get together to toss Everett and Manders. Somehow Christian and Wayne are the last two with Christian hitting a quick Downward Spiral for the pin…and never mind as yeah there are some people still left. Sheik comes in off the top with a spinwheel kick and the rest of the Crew pile onto her for the pin. Christian goes after the Crew but gets taken down and superplexed into a top rope legdrop for the pin….and that’s it at 1:23:57 (I guess Surreal was tossed somewhere in there).

Rating: C+. To be clear, this match is not about something coherent or anything more than having one name after another. That being said, this was WAY more coherent than the previous edition and that helped a lot. This felt more like a very indy Royal Rumble and, save for Surreal, no one was getting lost in the whole thing. I had a good time with this and it did fly by with some fun moments. It’s the kind of match that I was expecting from a Spring Break and it went well, especially with all of the insanity that came with it.

Overall Rating: B-. This was more like the Spring Breaks of the past and it worked out pretty well all things considered. It was a collection of some fun matches before we got to the big main event and that wound up working well. Good stuff here and it didn’t feel like a regular GCW show. While those can be fun, it’s not what I came into this wanting. The main event is all that mattered here and the other four matches were a nice bonus so we’ll call this a success.

 

 

 

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Joey Janela’s Spring Break 6 Night One
Date: March 31, 2022
Location: Fair Park, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Kevin Gill, Lenny Leonard

This is probably the crown jewel of the indy shows over Wrestlemania Weekend, just because of how insane it can get. Janela’s shows have a tendency to be completely nuts with some incredibly fun stuff and surprises. I’m actually looking forward to this one just for the atmosphere so let’s get to it.

Tag Team Titles: Second Gear Crew vs. Briscoes vs. Nick Gage

Gage is defending on his own as his partner, Matt Tremont, couldn’t make the show. Like him or not, Gage continues to be over like free beer in a frat house. It’s a big brawl to start and the doors are already brought in. The Briscoes bring in some chairs as well but Warner chokeslams Jay through a door for two. Mark is back up and Swantons Warner, sitting in a chair, down for a big crash.

Gage grabs the broken door and drops a twisting Vader Bomb onto Warner before stopping for the MDK chants. A piece of the table is used to carve up Warner’s head….and here is Slade to throw Gage a pizza cutter. Apparently Slade is Gage’s partner and he’ll carve up Warner’s head as well. Then Slade cuts himself because these people are not normal. Jay is back up to clean house, including Redneck Boogie to Slade.

Justice comes in with some chair shots and let’s bridge a door over some open chairs. Gage is up with some chair shots and now it’s time for a staple gun. Warner’s tongue is stapled to the door (good grief) but a piledriver through the door rips it free. Back in and Jay hits a Jay Driller into a Froggy Bow to give Mark two, with Slade making the save. Slade tries to fight off the Briscoes but it’s a Doomsday Device to give Jay the pin and the titles at 11:15.

Rating: C+. The nutty violence aside (hopefully far aside), this was an energetic match with the Briscoes adding some credibility to the whole thing. As much as I can’t stand Gage, he is the biggest star in the world to this audience and starting the show with him is a smart thing to do. Let him go out there and pop the crowd like no one else in GCW and get the show off to a hot start, especially if he is going to lose the titles with an out.

Post match the Briscoes celebrate before leaving Gage to get a hero’s applause.

Allie Katch is sitting in a room with candles around. Tonight she is facing Mickie James, who isn’t her dream match, but rather her fantasy. We get the infamous Mickie finger lick from the Trish Stratus match as this took a sharp turn.

Jeff Jarrett gets in his car, thinks he sees someone behind him, gets out to check, finds nothing, and gets back in.

AR Fox vs. Blake Christian

This should be fun and Fox’s wife Ayla is here with him. The fans are behind Christian as he flips out of a headscissors to start. Fox kicks him away and we get a staredown into a handshake. A dropkick sends Christian into the corner for a running clothesline but Christian picks the pace right back up. Christian’s dropkick into a nipup but Fox sends him outside for a heck of a running dive.

Fox gets a running charge for a boot to the face in the chairs but Christian drops him with a hard shot of his own. Back in and Christian hits a low superkick but can’t get a Border City Stretch. Instead Fox bails to the floor, allowing Christian to take him down with a dive of his own. Fox is fine enough to hit a twisting suplex for two and it’s time to slug it out.

Both of them try a cutter at the same time and we get a double breather. It’s Fox up with a rolling cutter into a rolling cutter for two but Christian hits Three Amigos, because Eddie Guerrero. A frog splash, also because Eddie Guerrero, gives Christian two but Fox is back up with Lo Mein Pain (middle rope Spanish Fly, which I’m guessing is somehow connected to Eddie Guerrero is well). Fox hits a 450 for two but Christian grabs a Spanish Fly into a wind up double arm DDT (that’s different, and called the Golden Trident) for the pin at 12:37.

Rating: B-. Yeah this was a fun one as Fox is about as much of a guaranteed good match as you’ll find on the indies. He’s just smooth in the ring and works well with anyone so this couldn’t have gone much better. Christian has been popping up more and more lately and you can see the talent in him. He’ll need something to make him stand out more but so far so pretty good.

Mickie James vs. Allie Katch

Effy is here with Katch. They fight over a lockup to start as we talk about what James has done so far this year. Katch takes her down but James flips up and we have a standoff. Mickie grabs a snapmare to set up a running kick to the chest but Katch is right back for the chop exchange.

The hurricanrana out of the corner is countered with a (rather enthusiastic) Katch powerbomb for two so Mickie kicks her low. Katch is fine enough to kick her down in the corner for a Cannonball and let’s bring in a door. Instead of, you know, using it, Katch knees her in the face to knock Mickie silly.

That means it’s time to load up two chairs and a door over them but Mickie flapjacks her through it instead. The top rope Thesz press gives Mickie two but the MickieDT is broken up. With neither going anywhere, they trade crotch grabs until a headbutt drops Mickie for two more. Back up and Mickie kisses Katch, kicks her in the face, and grabs the MickieDT for the pin at 11:18.

Rating: C+. Katch is someone who shows her potential every time she’s in there and it’s good for her to work with a legend like James, who can make her that much better. The match was pretty good as well, with the two of them hitting each other rather hard, though the violence was out of place. They also went a bit too far with the callbacks to Mickie vs. Trish Stratus, but the good parts were good enough to carry this far enough.

Post match Katch gets on the fans for booing James, because there is no Katch without James. Oh and that was the first ever women’s match at Spring Break. How is that possible?

Ninja Mack vs. Alec Price vs. Gringo Loco vs. Jack Cartwheel vs. Jimmy Lloyd vs. Jordan Oliver vs. Nick Wayne

One fall to a finish because we need a scramble match. They stare each other down to start and lock knuckles before going into the big series of kicks to the head. Everyone misses some kind of running splash and it’s another seven way staredown a minute in. The dives to the floor take some people down, setting up Loco’s big dive onto everyone else. Back in and Price hits an Alberto double stomp on Loco, followed by Cartwheel sweeping Lloyd’s legs.

Wayne tries to flip back in but gets sent ribs first into the corner by Lloyd. We settle down to Wayne vs. Oliver in a slugout until Oliver blocks a moonsault with raised knees. Cartwheel comes in to clear the ring but gets taken down by Mack for a twisting moonsault. Loco dives onto a bunch of people, leaving Cartwheel to knock Price outside as well. Cartwheel hits his own dive and Wayne is back in with a springboard Ace Cutter for the pin on Lloyd at 8:11.

Rating: C+. This was every scramble match you’ve seen in a long time, as there is little that anyone can do to make themselves stand out in a match like this one. There are seven people in a match that got just over eight minutes. Wayne is someone I’ve heard a good deal about for the last few months and I haven’t seen much of him. After this, I still haven’t as he barely got any time to shine with everyone else in there at the same time.

Joey Janela vs. X-Pac

This should be….something. X-Pac looks great and Janela is in Razor Ramon style gear, as a rather horrible way to get into X-Pac’s head. Janela knocks him into the corner to start and chops away but has to duck a spinning kick to the head. The Bronco Buster misses as well so Janela heads outside, where X-Pac hits a running seated senton off the apron.

Janela is fine enough to post X-Pac seems rather pleased with the fans hating him (makes you wonder why they bought tickets to JOEY JANELA’S Spring Break but oh well). The boos turn into dueling chants as Janela grabs a chair and pulls X-Pac back inside. X-Pac fights out of the chinlock and grabs a tornado DDT for a much needed breather. Now the spinning kick to the head connects and they head to the apron, where Janela is fine enough to grab a Death Valley Driver.

It’s time to set up a door over a pair of chairs but Janela takes too long, allowing X-Pac to come back with a slingshot flip dive to put him through the door instead. The X-Factor gets two back inside but Janela pulls him into a Crossface. With that broken up, Janela pulls in a bunch of other plunder, meaning it’s another door bridged over two chairs, because that worked so well earlier.

Janela takes WAY too long setting that up and going to the top, meaning it’s a super X-Factor through the door….for two as Janela gets a foot on the rope. Back up and Janela hits a super brainbuster for two and a double stomp through the door gets two more. Janela goes up again and gets shoved off the top and through another door at ringside. Back in and X-Pac chairs Janela down but a low blow and superkick lets Janela get the pin at 19:23.

Rating: C. This match just got on my nerves as X-Pac was doing his thing and trying to have a match while Janela was doing every stupid stunt that he could, none of which he bothered to sell. I know Janela is a big deal around here but you could see the difference in quality here and it was annoying seeing this be all about Janela. X-Pac might not be some all time legend (though he was very good), but he deserved better than this.

Post match X-Pac thanks the fans and puts over GCW, which he says is his family today. If you’re not down with X-Pac and GCW, he has two words for you.

GCW World Title: Jon Moxley vs. AJ Gray

Moxley is defending and Gray’s Extreme Title isn’t on the line. They start a bit slowly with Moxley taking him into the corner but getting shoved away. Gray takes the leg out and nails a spinwheel kick to the face to drop the champ (at least the one defending). A slugout goes to Gray and they head outside where Moxley suckers him in and takes the fight into the crowd.

You can’t actually see what they’re doing for a bit until Moxley gets into an open space and poses a bit before being knocked back to ringside by a bloody Gray. Moxley is fine enough to suplex Gray at ringside and it’s time for a barbed wire door. A release suplex drops Gray onto said barbed wire onto said door before Moxley stabs him with some barbed wire sheers. The barbed wire is used for a low blow and then wrapped around Gray’s face to make it worse.

A neckbreaker, with barbed wire, gives Moxley two and it’s off to an STF, complete with more barbed wire. Since that isn’t violent enough, Moxley puts the barbed wire door up in the corner and is speared (or kind of shoved) through it, due to wrestling rule #37. Gray hits a moonsault, mainly on Moxley’s face, for two and it’s ladder time, because of course it is. That’s not enough so here’s a door to go with it, with the ladder set at ringside and the door on some chairs close enough to it.

An STO on the apron rocks Moxley again and Gray elbows him off the ladder through the door. Back in and they get up to slug it out, because that kind of a spot is just there in a match like this. Gray blasts him with a lariat for two and it’s time for some….light tubes wrapped in barbed wire. That’s so stupid it even has Moxley backing up, only to come back with a jumping cutter onto the tubes for two. That and a piledriver get two, followed by a Death Rider onto more light tubes to retain the title at 22:18.

Rating: C. The match felt big, but every time they started to get something going, the violence got to be too much. The bigger thing here though was Moxley’s star power, which was more than enough to carry the match. Gray is someone who has impressed me just about every time I’ve seen him and he was good here, but as usual, the light tubes and doors were too much for it to be that great.

Post match they shake hands and respect is show.

Ultraviolent Title: John Wayne Murdoch vs. Alex Colon

Murdoch is challenging and Colon has beaten him a few times before. Colon has a bunch of belts around his waist and shoulders, most of which aren’t identified. Murdoch isn’t about to wait and hits him in the head with some light tubes during the Big Match Intros so we’re starting fast. Some whips send Colon into a variety of things in the corner and against the ropes before tossing him off the top, through a table covered with more light tubes.

Colon is already busted so Murdoch drives more glass into the head. Back in and Colon whips him through a door in the corner, followed by a running knee to drive light tubes into Murdoch’s chest. Then Colon stabs himself with broken tubes, which he then drives into Murdoch’s head. They headbutt it out on the floor before coming back inside, where Colon hits him with another light tube.

More light tubes do the same thing as the previous light tubes but Murdoch pops up and hits a piledriver. Colon pops back up and sends Murdoch outside, setting up a suicide dive with a light tube. Murdoch avoids a charge into the post and we pause as Colon might be seriously injured. Colon’s bloody arm is covered in a towel so Murdoch suplexes him onto more light tubes for two. A board to the arm sets up a cross armbreaker to give Murdoch the title at 13:48.

Rating: D. I can’t stand this kind of match as it’s the same stuff over and over. How many times are you supposed to hit someone with a light tube before it stops meaning anything? In this case it would be about two out of the thirty or so tubes they probably used before a dumb ending. What is there to say here? You had two guys hit each other with light tubes over and over until someone won. Rather downer of a main event and that’s never a good thing.

Post match Murdoch talks a lot of trash and tells Colon to get out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The show was actually pretty ok for the most part, save for a terrible main event. Swap in Moxley, who felt like a much bigger star, into that spot and the show is better, but still not great. Spring Break has always been one of the more fun shows over Wrestlemania weekend and that really wasn’t the case here. It’s not an awful show, but there is nothing memorable or overly fun here and that hurt things a lot. Mickie James and X-Pac are cool, but they aren’t enough to make the show feel all that important. Hopefully night two is better though, because this was the least memorable Spring Break show to date.

 

 

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The Wrld On GCW
Date: January 23, 2022
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Dave Prazak, Kendall Gill
Hosts: Lenny Leonard, Pollo del Mar

Every now and then a show catches my attention and I’ll add it to the schedule. That is the case here, as GCW has become the hottest indy around at the moment and I’m going to give it a shot. I am absolutely not a fan of the deathmatch stuff, but apparently that kind of wrestling is not allowed in New York so we get a bit of a reprieve here. Let’s get to it.

Note that I barely follow GCW so I am not going to know much in the way of storylines or characters so please bear with me if I miss something.

Kickoff Show: Blue Ribbon Battle Royal

Psycho Clown, Dark Sheik, Cole Radrick, Parrow, Hoodfoot, Ruckus, Charles Mason, KTB, Juicy Finau, Steve Scott, Nate Webb, Big Vin, Brandon Kirk, Janai Kai, Dustin Thomas, Marcus Mathers, Yoya, B-Boy, Lufisto, Thunder Rosa

Clown jumps Parrow before most of the entrances have taken place and we’re starting fast. The huge Parrow fights him off but Sheik hits a pretty awesome looking jump up to his shoulders into a double stomp to the chest (kind of like Cameron Grimes’ Cave In). Sheik isn’t done and hits a top rope spinwheel kick to drop Radrick. Back up and Radrick runs Sheik over as more people come in (Are these entrances timed? That hasn’t been mentioned.), giving us Parrow vs. Ruckus.

Entrants keep coming in one at a time but with maybe fifteen seconds in between, making me wonder why they started so fast. Scott (I think? Commentary is too busy to say who these people are.) is clotheslined out as Big Vin takes his place. Vin grabs Sheik from the apron and backflips in for a World’s Strongest Slam (that’s a new one) before having a big hug with Finau.

The ring (which isn’t very big in the first place) is WAY too full here as Kirk is tossed. Thomas (the wrestler with no legs) comes in and hits a tornado DDT on KTB. Mathers and Yoya are in as Radrick is out in a hurry (and actually gets named). Mason (in a suit) is in next as this is just a free for all of people hitting one move after another with nothing close to coherence.

Now it’s B-Boy coming in as Clown hits a superbomb on Mason. Mathers (I think) is out with Sheik and KTB following him. Lufisto makes a big surprise return and there go Clown and Thomas. Thunder Rosa is the big surprise and final entrant so we look at her beating up Parrow in the corner while everyone else brawls.

Lufisto gets rid of Webb and B-Boy and we’re down to Lufisto, Parrow, Rosa, Mason and Vin. Rosa hurricanranas Parrow out and the women beat up Mason in the corner. Vin gets beaten down in an opposite corner until Rosa and Lufisto slug it out. Mason sneaks up and tosses Rosa but Lufisto suplexes both of them. Vin puts Lufisto on the apron and Mason drives Vin into her for the elimination. A low bridge sends Vin to the apron but he chokeslams Mason out for the win at 16:04.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t a good start to the night as I’m still not sure who all was in the match. Commentary didn’t do a good job of explaining what was going on and the camera work made it even harder to keep track of the whole thing. I’m not quite thrilled with where things are going from here, but hopefully we get something a little easier to follow going forward.

Kickoff Show: Jack Cartwheel vs. Alex Zayne vs. Grim Reefer vs. Shane Mercer vs. Ninja Mack vs. Dante Leon

No tags and one fall to a finish. Zayne is billed as The Sauce and from the nearest Taco Bell. The fact that he is from Lexington makes it even better. Mercer starts fast with a pop up powerslam on Reefer (that looked good) and there’s a big flip dive to drop some people on the floor. Cartwheel and Mack hit their stereo running flip dives to the floor, followed by dives from Zayne and Leon.

Reefer goes up, lights one up, and hits a big springboard flip dive to drop the pile. Back in and Mack punches away at Reefer before hitting the People’s Moonsault. Leon comes in for a cutter on Mack but gets powerslammed by Mercer. A super fireman’s carry flapjack drops Leon but Zayne clears the ring. Cartwheel takes him down for a slingshot hilo but Mercer is back up with a gorilla press drop.

Reefer kicks Mercer down and spins him into a Crossface with Leon making the save. Leon’s big cutter hits Reefer but Mercer plants Mack with a super backflip World’s Strongest Slam. Zayne is held in the ropes for a shooting star press from Cartwheel, driving Zayne into the apron. A chair is brought in but Reefer counters Mercer’s….something into a DDT onto the chair for the pin at 7:58.

Rating: C+. This was slightly easier to follow than the opener but that isn’t saying much. The thing to remember about a match like this is that it is all about getting your stuff in with nothing resembling a story being told. The match may be fun, but this is all about setting things up for the real card. Not exactly good, but a lot of fun and rather exciting, as is kind of the point.

Owner Brett Lauderdale comes out to hype up the crowd and talks about how hard it has been to get here. They were ready to take over the world but then the pandemic hit. He was told that a million GCW’s have come and gone but now they are here with the roster to make it work.

We get the entrances for the opener, which will start when the show goes on the air. This company has some AEW influences.

The opening video, which is rather quiet, shows a bunch of wrestlers in the empty building with their voiceovers talking about how they have no business at this level. Now they’re here to prove that they belong. Right on point here.

AJ Gray vs. PCO vs. Alex Colon vs. G-Raver vs. Tony Deppen vs. Jimmy Lloyd vs. Jordan Oliver

Ladder match, with the winner getting any title match they want at any time. AJ Gray is a surprise entrant as his scheduled opponent, Eddie Kingston, is out with an injury. They start fast (I’m not sure I heard a bell) with Deppen hitting a springboard dropkick to drive the ladder into Lloyd and Oliver.

Gray buckle bombs Deppen into the ladder in the corner and blasts him with a lariat before going up. His ladder is WAY too short though, meaning G-Raver does him a favor by throwing a ladder at Gray’s ladder for the save. PCO comes in, allowing Colon to lift up G-Raver for a Doomsday Device, albeit with a ladder shot instead of a clothesline to make it even worse. Colon hits PCO in the face with the ladder but Oliver dropkicks the ladder down to break up the double climb.

Oliver kicks Lloyd in the face and hits a dive to the floor. PCO hits his own running flip dive through the ropes. Deppen adds a double springboard flip dive to take out everyone, sending them walking up the aisle. As luck would have it, Gray is ready with his own running flip dive off the stage at the exact same time. PCO chairs Gray down and moonsaults off the top onto the big pile again.

That means PCO can climb, but he’s actually smart enough to drop down and beat up anyone trying to make a save. Deppen brings in a bigger ladder and bites PCO on the face but Jordan Oliver is there to cut him off. Lloyd breaks that up too but gets kicked down by Oliver. PCO chokeslams Oliver off of the ladder though and there’s a package piledriver onto the ladder to make it worse.

G-Raver and Colon break that up, with Raven putting Colon onto two chairs with a ladder over his back. Raver goes up, shoves the ring out of the way, and drops down onto the ladder onto Colon. Well that was dumb. Lloyd gives Raver a running Razor’s Edge over the top and onto a big pile of stuff on the floor. Gray goes up on a ladder on the floor and tries to dive into the ring, only to crash hard onto another ladder (the fact that I’m not sure who he was aiming for is a bad sign). Cue John Wayne Murdoch to take out Colon on the floor, leaving Gray to take the ring down at 15:11.

Rating: C-. The spots were good, but this was a very indy style ladder match, which is not meant as a compliment. There was too much going on between all of the people and it didn’t work so well. At the same time, you had a person shoving the ring out of the way to hurt someone else. That’s about as bad of a level of ladder match logic as you’ll find, making this quite the mess.

Gringo Loco/Demonic Flamita/Arez vs. Bandido/ASF/Laredo Kid

Lucha rules (duh) and it’s Arez starting with Kid. The trade early misses until Kid’s hurricanrana is easily blocked. An armdrag sends Kid outside so it’s Bandido coming in for Three Amigos. That means the Eddie dance as it’s a headscissors to send Arez outside. Loco comes in to hammer on Bandido, who is sent outside so ASF can come in. A wristdrag sends ASF outside for a change and it’s Flamita coming in to take his place.

The 619 in the corner looks to set up something off the top but Flamita flips off the crowd and drops down to flip the fans off instead. ASF is left alone in the corner, with Flamita and Arez hitting stereo moonsaults to the floor (that was sweet). Bandido and Kid get caught in stereo surfboards on the floor for the big running flip dive from Loco. ASF is sent outside as well, only to get launched over the top for the crash back inside (cool).

Flamita follows him back in for two, with ASF climbing Flamita to armdrag Loco. Bandido’s team is back in with stereo superkicks into stereo headscissors to the floor. The not quite stereo dives take out Loco and company but ASF and Kid miss missile dropkicks back inside. Flamita and Bandido are left alone for a big staredown, with Flamita kicking him down and hitting a huge frog splash.

ASF hits a 450 but Arez makes a save of his own. A dropkick breaks up Arez’s cover and a Death Valley Driver gets two on Flamita. It’s Bandido vs. Loco for a strike off until Bandido hits a heck of a tornado DDT. Back up and Bandido and Loco grab double electric chairs (as in Arez is on Flamita’s shoulders on Loco’s shoulders while ASF is on Kid’s shoulders on Bandido’s shoulders), leaving ASF and Arez to slug it out rather high in the air.

ASF snaps off a Canadian Destroyer (egads man) while Loco and Bandido hit powerbombs on the other two. Loco catches a charging Bandido in a Spanish Fly and everyone is down. Back up and Bandido LAUNCHES ASF over the top and into a hurricanrana on Loco. Flamita hits a dive, then Bandido hits a dive, then Kid Spanish Flies Arez off the top onto the pile. ASF and Loco seem to load up a super Canadian Destroyer but can’t get the timing right, leaving Loco to hit a regular piledriver for the pin at 14:10.

Rating: A-. The double electric chair was good enough to make this about as fun as it could have been and the rest was a bunch of insanity that you can only get in a match like this one. This kind of a match is designed to have a bunch of people flying around with one crazy spot after another and they made it work like only they can here. Bandido’s awesomeness has long since been established and it was on full display again with this one. Check this out, which you should always do with something involving these people.

Ian Riccaboni joins commentary.

Ring of Honor World Title: Blake Christian vs. Jonathan Gresham

Christian is challenging…or at least he would be if Gresham was here but we need to make a last second change. Worry not though, because we have a replacement.

Blake Christian vs. Lio Rush

Rush offers a handshake but Christian looks at him instead. They do shake left hands though and it’s an armdrag to take Rush down. Back up and Christian offers a handshake, which allows him to sunset flip Rush for two. Rush bails to the floor for a breather before heading back inside to avoid some charges.

Christian heads outside, only to pull Rush outside for a whip into the barricade. Back in and a tilt-a-whirl gutbuster gives Christian two, setting up a roll into a crucifix hold. That’s broken up and Christian misses a charge into the corner, allowing Rush to hit a spear for two. Christian is fine enough to catch him with a kick to the face on top but Rush kicks him down.

A ripcord Spanish fly drops Rush again though and a springboard 450 gives Christian two. Rush is right back with a twisting DDT and the Final Hour gets two more. They go to the apron where Rush can’t hit a German suplex to the floor. Instead they drop down, with Christian hitting a Tombstone. Back in and a 450 double stomp finishes Rush at 12:39.

Rating: B-. Take two guys and let them do their thing for about twelve minutes, which is all you needed to do here. Christian gets the win to keep him strong until he can get his title shot. Gresham being gone is rough to see but having someone like Rush as the backup worked as well as anything else. Good match, but they weren’t about to follow that six man.

We recap Matt Cardona vs. Joey Janela. Cardona married Chelsea Green but Janela faked some pictures of the two of them by a pool together, sending Cardona over the edge. The interesting thing is that Cardona is the huge heel who is mocking all things indy and trying to turn it into WWE. This has been one of the better things going on the independent scene and Cardona has had one awesome stunt after another.

The IF CARDONA WINS WE RIOT sign is a great touch.

Joey Janela vs. Matt Cardona

Chelsea Green is here with Cardona….who comes out to Enter Sandman entrance (or at least a cover), turning the crowd completely upside down in about three seconds. The “IF CARDONA WINS WE RIOT” shirt is an even greater touch. He also has a red flannel shirt with f*** Mick Foley on the back, while Green (with the Internet Title) is in the Zack Ryder half trunks/half tights. Cardona asks what’s up GCW Universe and takes credit for the sellout. Joey Janela didn’t do it, so tonight he’s ending Janela’s career before Tony Khan can fire him.

Cardona jumps him at the bell for two and flips off the fans. The fans get in a “F*** CARDONA/WOO WOO WOO!” chant so Janela hits a Death Valley Driver through the door. The suicide dive takes out Cardona on the floor and it is time for Janela to chair him down. A top rope flip dive sends Janela crashing through the chair though and Cardona gets to chair him down. Green pulls the chair away though and kicks Cardona low for a big surprise.

Janela goes up, only to get crotched by Green because it was a ruse. Cardona shows off the cup he was wearing but Janela is fine enough to hit a superplex to put them both down. Janela grabs the title, but here is Smart Mark Sterling (of AEW fame) to say that if Janela uses the title, he’s disqualified. Commentary: “But it’s GCW!” He brings out someone who is very influential in Cardona’s career, so here is someone in a Vince McMahon mask. It’s Vincent/Virgil though, and the distraction lets Sterling grab Janela.

The belt shot takes Sterling down by mistake though and a Death Valley Driver sends Cardona into the ring frame. Cue Swoggle to post Janela but here is a huge guy named Sam Stackhouse to take Swoggle out. Now it’s Marko Stunt to throw a chair at Swoggle’s head but Cardona takes him down as well. Janela brings in a pair of doors, with Swoggle and Cardona being put through one each.

Green hits Stunt with the belt and gives him a Canadian Destroyer, leaving Cardona to AA Janela through an open chair for a near fall. Cardona loads up two doors, which really does take too long so Janela takes him out. Green’s latest interference earns herself a piledriver so here is a guy in a motorcycle helmet. That would be Brian Myers, who decks Janela and helps Cardona hit a middle rope Radio Silence through the door for the pin at 19:39.

Rating: B-. It was a bit long, but this was a lot of fun with Cardona playing a perfect troll. Cardona knows how to make these people nuts by doing everything they don’t like and now he gets to take out another one of their heroes. The big flaw here is that the match went too long and you could have cut out a good portion in the middle which was more about several other people other than Janela vs. Cardona. This was all about Cardona putting together something else to get people to care about him though, as he continues to be one of the more creative people in wrestling.

Post match Sean Waltman of all people comes in and takes out Cardona before posing with Janela. I’m sold on getting to hear The Kings again.

Here is the injured Mance Warner for a chat. He talks about how awesome GCW’s locker room and entire crew is and thanks the fans for getting them here. Cue Atticus Cougar (pronounced Co-Gar) to say 44OH are the real outlaws around here. Cougar doesn’t like Warner’s Second Gear Crew so Warner is ready to fight.

44OH comes in for the beatdown, with Matthew Justice (Warner’s partner) coming in for the failed save attempt. The lights go off (BECAUSE WRESTLING!) and it’s Bill Alfonso and Sabu making the save. Chairs to the head put 44OH down and we actually get a pin, with Fonzie counting. Pantera’s Walk plays because ECW.

Video on Allie Katch vs. Ruby Soho. Katch talks about divine destiny, meaning that if something is meant to happen, it will happen no matter what. That seems to be the case with this match, as she runs into SOHO painted on a wall. Katch was billed as a big deal during Brett Lauderdale’s pre-show speech so she means something. I don’t remember her being much more than someone who did cat-esque things as Allie Kat but maybe things have changed.

Allie Katch vs. Ruby Soho

They shake hands to start and Soho armdrags her down early on. The threat of the Riott Kick is blocked early on but so is Katch’s piledriver. That’s fine with Allie, who hits a basement dropkick for an early two. Soho is sent into the corner and it’s a running hip attack into a Cannonball for two more.

They trade kicks to the face with Soho getting rocked, only to be able to come back with a German suplex for the double knockdown. Katch takes too long going up top though and gets armdragged back down for a quick two. The Riott Kick connects for two on Katch but she’s right back with a knee into the piledriver for two of her own. With that not working, Katch loads up a super piledriver, which is countered into a Riott Kick from the middle rope to give Soho the pin at 9:31.

Rating: C. I’d hope that Katch can do more than this as it felt like any other match. This came off like a match where a star was making a guest appearance in the territory with the story of the popular star getting a shot. It wasn’t bad, but there was absolutely nothing special to this and it just came and went.

We recap Jeff Jarrett vs. Effy. Jarrett doesn’t like GCW calling themselves outlaws because he is the Last Outlaw. There has to be a huge stable out there of people who have been THE LAST OUTLAW. There have also been guitar shots to show you how serious this has been.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Effy

Effy pulls $20 out of his trunks, which the referee throws to the floor. They go with the basics to start, with Jarrett powering him into the corner. Effy’s spins to get out of a wristlock don’t work so Effy drops to his knee, which freaks Jeff out for a bit. Some shots to the ribs set up a modified Tarantula but Jarrett is back with a clothesline. They head outside with Jarrett whipping him with the belt (which seems to draw a DADDY LIKES IT chant).

Back in and it’s time for more whipping and choking, which seems to make Effy smile. Jarrett uses the belt to tie Effy in the corner, which doesn’t exactly last long. Effy is back with more rights and lefts, setting up a faceplant for two. Now it’s Effy getting to whip away but he misses a Blockbuster. The guitar takes too long for Jarrett though so Effy pulls off his fishnets for some choking. That’s too much for Jarrett, who hits him with the guitar and grabs the Stroke for the pin at 11:15.

Rating: D+. I’ve heard a lot of good things about Effy and I’m going to assume that a lot of it is due to his promos and character work, because he wasn’t doing much in the ring here. All he had was a bunch of punches and a missed Blockbuster, which isn’t exactly stealing the show. That being said, Jarrett winning is a good bit weird, as he is the second outsider in a row to beat a signature GCW name on their biggest night ever. Not a great match, but you can see how much bigger of a star Jarrett is than most of the roster. If nothing else, seeing someone who seems like he knows how to put a match together is almost a rarity around here.

GCW World Title: Homicide vs. Jon Moxley

Homicide is challenging after winning a Rumble last month. The fans chant F*** BULLY RAY to start, which has to make Moxley smile a bit. They forearm/slap it out to start before going face to face. Homicide sends him outside but the dive is cut off with a shot to the face. The fight heads outside with Homicide biting away, only to get sent shoulder first into the post.

Moxley cranks on the fingers and hits a piledriver for two For some reason Moxley goes up but it’s a super cutter to bring him back down. They trade clotheslines until Moxley grabs the Paradigm Shift for two. Moxley hammers away and Homicide seems to lose a tooth. A chair is wedged in the corner but Homicide cuts him off and strikes away. The chair is on the mat and it’s another Paradigm Shift onto said chair to give Moxley two more. Homicide flips him off and bites Moxley’s face, only to get blasted with a lariat. The lifting Paradigm Shift onto the open chair retains Moxley’s title at 11:32.

Rating: C. That’s it? This was so short that I thought I missed part of the match, as I would have bet on it going a good bit longer than Jarrett vs. Effy. Maybe that is the result of ring rust from Moxley, or just time constraints from the pay per view, but this wasn’t exactly great. It worked while it lasted, but it just didn’t last very long.

Video on the Briscoes, who are issuing an open challenge for the Tag Team Titles. Most signs would suggest that this is going to be FTR, but you never know around here.

Tag Team Titles: Briscoes vs. ???/???

The Briscoes are defending against….Nick Gage/Matt Tremont. Well you knew Gage would be on here somehow. Gage puts Nick through the door in the corner to start and it’s time for a duel of the chairs. Mark and Nick trade pieces of door shots to the head but Jay breaks up the pizza cutter. Tremont gets beaten down and the Froggy Bow onto a door gets two on Gage. Back up and Tremont hits a release Rock Bottom to plant Jay and Gage hits a middle rope piledriver on Mark. The chokebreaker gives Gage the pin and the titles at 5:35.

Rating: D. That was a Nick Gage match alright, but this time he had a huge partner to do some really basic stuff too. I know why Gage had to be on the show but it isn’t like his matches are much to see. It’s the feel good moment of the show, though having it come in a five minute match didn’t do the show many favors.

Post match Gage swears a lot and puts over his gang while bragging about how far GCW came. The locker room comes in to celebrate and we’re out.

Overall Rating: D+. One of the shows you are probably going to see this compared to is Barely Legal. While it is nowhere near that important (or good), there is one thing that does stand out. My biggest issue with Barely Legal was the lack of an explanation of why Sabu and Taz hated each other. It was the “Grudge Match of the Century” but we were never told why they were fighting. The ECW fans knew, but Barely Legal wasn’t just a show for the ECW fans.

Now do that for three hours and you have this show. There was barely anything explaining who these people were, what they were doing here, why they were fighting or ANYTHING about them. Cardona vs. Janela had a bit of backstory, but this felt like the game plan was “just keep doing what we’ve been doing (minus the deathmatch stuff, which isn’t their fault)”. It was a show that you either got or didn’t get, with GCW not offering much in the way of guidance.

On top of that, the wrestling was hit and miss at best. Everything felt rushed and very little really stood out. The lucha match was great, but you could get one of those a week on Ring of Honor. Cardona is excellent at riffing on independent wrestling, but then he won, just like Soho over what seems to be the big female star around here. This show didn’t do a thing to make me more interested in GCW and as the big debut on the national stage, it was a pretty hard miss.

 

 

 

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Shallow Graves
Date: April 10, 2021
Location: Cuban Club, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Drenen, Kid Osborne

This is another one from Wrestlemania Weekend and I’m not sure what to expect. I have a bad feeling that I’m getting into another hardcore/deathmatch/no rules kind of show and that is not going to be my cup of orange juice. Hopefully they surprise me and there are some talented names on the roster. Let’s get to it.

I know nothing about what is going on here so forgive me if I don’t know some storylines or characters.

After six minutes of a logo to start things off, James Mitchell joins us to say that we should beware of the pale horse called death.

The opening video looks at various death like things, including vultures and someone being buried, with the horror movie style credits running down the card (that’s clever).

Ryan Fox welcomes us to the show and talks about how this show is a year in the making. I’m assuming he’s the promoter, as he hypes up the opener.

So apparently this promotion doesn’t have a ring, but rather an open space with a bunch of weapons provided. Oh dear indeed.

The End vs. The Hustle and the Muscle

The End is Parrow/Odinson, a pair of hosses while Hustle/Muscle is Rohit Raju/Jake Something. Announcer: “Coming to the floor!” That’s going to take some getting used to. Hold on though as Raju needs a mic. Raju congratulates the fans for making it to the final show of the Collective and says how lucky they are to see some real wrestlers. He goes on a rant about how stupid Twitter is and now many fans pretend bad wrestlers are good.

It’s time to start and the brawl is on, sans bell (mainly because having a ring bell sans ring doesn’t make sense). They split up and fight around the….I guess the term is arena, as you probably saw coming. The cameras keep cutting back and forth between brawls as Osborne talks about how he could jump in there if he wanted to. Odinson swings Raju into a wall over and over as Parrow chairs Something in the back.

Something is sandwiched between some chairs, with Odinson hitting an AA onto the chairs (or a fireman’s carry into a backsplash according to Drenen). The fights split up again with Odinson kicking Raju in the face and Something planting Parrow onto a chair. Raju knees Odinson down some steps and a running knee knocks Odinson silly again. Some chairs are loaded up and Something throws Raju at Odinson, who counters into a spinebuster onto those chairs.

Something takes Odinson right back down though and sets up two chairs, with a door layed onto it like a ramp. Parrow is back up to throw Raju through a door as Osborne will not shut up about how great he was son other shows. Something is powerbombed against a wall and a chokeslam puts Raju through another door bridged over some chairs.

Jake breaks some lighttubes over Parrow’s head and gets glared at so all four grab chairs for the double duel. Parrow, with a very bloody back, gets the best of things but can’t follow up, leaving everyone down. Osborne: “I would have been the first one up. They were swinging those chairs like b******.” They’re all back up so the End can hit a Super Collider and the pin at 10:08.

Rating: C. What are you supposed to say about something like this? It isn’t a wrestling match and the weapons were there to make it even worse, but the End feel like a good power team. It’s going to take some time to get used to this stuff, but hopefully they tone the violence down a bit. I mean, I don’t think they will, but it gives me some hope for the next two hours.

Bam Sullivan, the Trash With The Stache, who looks to be an old western guy, is ready for Bobby Beverly. I’m not sure why he has a slice of pizza on his vest.

Ryan Fox hypes up the next match, as I’m assuming he’ll be doing for every match.

Bobby Beverly vs. Bam Sullivan

Actually never mind as both of them are injured. Worry not though as Osborne is right there to say he’s still a better promo than Sullivan anyway.

AJ Gray vs. Hardway Heeter

This is a replacement match and there is an inflatable alligator in the middle of the floor. Before the match, Gray isn’t happy with not being on the show in the first place and swears a lot. Heeter comes out with a bunch of red lights flashing and hits Gray with some lighttubes. Gray is back with some chair and lighttube shots of his own and it’s time to carve Heeter’s head open.

Heeter is back with more lighttubes, because five lighttubes are more impressive than one. Some chair shots each put them both down for a bit, with Heeter getting the better of things. They both grab lighttubes and break them over the other’s head, setting up a suplex to drop Heeter on the inflatable alligator. Gray has some goons load up a sheet of glass as Osborne complains about his lack of a title shot. Heeter fights back so he gets hit with a bunch of lighttubes, setting up a suplex off a platform and through the glass to finish Heeter at 4:30.

Rating: D. Yeah this was the bad one that I was expecting, as it was all about the lighttubes and glass because that’s the gold standard in a match like this. I wasn’t big on this whatsoever and Heeter looked like every indy guy in this kind of a promotion. Gray can do good stuff in regular matches, and the only good thing about this was that it was short.

Wolfe Taylor is tired of being buried around here in favor of all of the indy darlings. He’s never being buried again. At least they put a name with a face here.

And now, an intermission. I can go with the classic campy horror movie footage instead of just a graphic.

Said intermission is about a minute long, making me wonder what the point was. Did they run out of vignettes?

JJ Garrett vs. Cole Radrick vs. Wolfe Taylor vs. Jimmy Lloyd vs. Jordan Oliver

Everyone is brawling at once and it’s one fall to a finish. Garrett looks like a young Scott Steiner (including dressing like him and his intro mentioned Steiner) and Rardick is a small but talented guy. Hold on though as we have some replacements, with Oliver not actually here for whatever reason.

JJ Garrett vs. Cole Radrick vs. Wolfe Taylor vs. Jimmy Lloyd vs. Kevin Blackwood vs. Devon Monroe

Everyone is brawling at once and it’s one fall to a finish. Monroe is basically Sonny Kiss and is billed as Black Sexcellence. Lloyd is in a Hurt Business shirt and commentary references some kind of appearance he made involving the team. Blackwood is another surprise entrant and there is no mention of Oliver not being included. Everyone gets in a circle and Blackwood sits down in the middle because he’s a little odd.

That goes nowhere so it’s time to exchange strikes, with Blackwood getting the better of things. Taylor and Garrett exchange for a bit until Radrick interrupts to take Garrett down with a headscissors. Monroe knees Radrick in the face as people start pairing off. Blackwood sends Taylor into a metal hand rail and Lloyd hits Monroe in the face. That leaves us with the Blackwood vs. Lloyd showdown (the world has been waiting), which switches into Blackwood vs. Radrick for a more positive reaction.

They slap each other in the face over and over with Radrick getting the better of things, at least until a double kick to the face puts them both down. Wolfe gives Lloyd a tornado DDT onto the floor but grabs a chair instead of covering (Gorilla Monsoon would not approve). With the wrestling getting boring, it’s time to grab a door/frame/lighttube contraption. Lloyd Rock Bottoms Wolfe through it for two, because that isn’t a big enough spot yet.

Radrick puts Lloyd on a door bridged over chairs (Commentary: “WHEN WAS THAT SET UP???”) for a running cannonball off some steps. With that not even breaking the door, Radrick drops Blackwood onto an open chair. Blackwood pops up and Death Valley Drivers Radrick through the door but here’s Monroe to go after Blackwood instead. A discus forearm knocks Blackwood silly so here is Garrett to jump Monroe. Wolfe is back up for a fireman’s carry backbreaker to Garrett, followed by some face ripping….which is enough for the tap at 8:30.

Rating: C. Again, what are you expecting from something like this? It’s a bunch of people running around doing everything they can and no one got to stand out as a result. That’s how a match like this is always going to work, no matter how annoying it might be. I’ve never been a fan of these things, but you know you’re going to get one on a big indy show.

James Mitchell misquotes the Bible.

Matthew Justice vs. Erick Redbeard

Redbeard is of course better known as Erick Rowan and this is fallout from Redbeard jumping Justice at the end of a previous show. They throw trashcans at each other to start and then get to the more effective slugout. Justice gets in some chair shots but Redbeard hits him in the back and then throws a chair, setting up something like a Van Daminator. More chair shots have Justice down as commentary is convinced that all hope is lost. A table is set up but first Redbeard needs to kick Justice in the face.

That just wakes Justice up enough to send him into a door against a wall to start the comeback. Some chair shots keep Redbeard in trouble but he’s back with a trashcan over Justice’s head. Said trashcan is thrown (Fan: “THAT TRASHCAN HAS A FAMILY!!!”) but Redbeard is sent face first into a support beam. Redbeard BLASTS HIM In the face with a door and then hits the ground next to Justice with the door for a rather miserable visual. It’s time for the belt to come off for some whipping and choking, followed by a hanging from the stands.

Justice gets sent into a wall but avoids a charge to send Redbeard into it as well. A flip dive off the steps finally puts Redbeard down and now it’s time to whip him for a change. Justice chokes with the belt and throws a chair at his back to make it worse. A splash out of the stands drives Redbeard through a door for two so Justice tries it again, only to get trashcanned out of the air. Redbeard loads up a bunch of chairs and, after smacking Justice in the face, hits a claw slam off the stage onto the broken door and chairs for the pin at 11:47.

Rating: C-. This was a watchable enough back and forth big guy vs. little guy match and it worked out well enough. It’s nice to see Redbeard winning and that slap to the face was a great shot. I’m surprised Redbeard hasn’t gotten a deal with a bigger promotion yet, but he looked good as a monster here.

Respect is shown post match, which kind of defeats the purpose of a grudge.

Fox’s explanation for the next match: two guys beating on each other.

Mance Warner vs. Conor Claxton

This is a No Win Deathmatch, which I guess is different than the previous matches in….some way that isn’t important enough to explain. Warner coming out to Simple Man is rather great, while Claxton pulling out a cigarette, not so much. Joey Janela jumps in on commentary to make it more, ahem, interesting.

Warner throws him a lighttube and we’re going to be starting with a duel. That means hitting each other with the lighttubes, followed by a chain whip to Claxton’s back. The eye poke has Balor staggering off and Warner hits him with various other weapons. The bloody Claxton gets in a few shots of his own and sends Warner head first into a street sign on the floor. Warner is right back with the Bionic low blow as Claxton is favoring a previous shoulder injury.

There’s a lighttube shot over Claxton’s head and it is time to walk around some more. Claxton whips him through a door and stomps away though, meaning it’s time to wrap a chain around his hand. Janela shouts even more, going on about what he has been doing today. That’s it for Janela, who is off to do something else as Warner makes a comeback.

A DDT onto the floor isn’t even good enough to make Warner cover, with Osborne (accurately for once) yelling about how stupid that was. Some fan hands Warner more lighttubes (because he had those) and Warner finds a staple gun to make it worse. Warner steals the syringes that Claxton brought with him and stabs him in the mouth, because that’s how things go around here. A running knee drives the lighttubes into Claxton’s head (good thing he held them in place) for the pin at 8:41.

Rating: D-. Yeah this was bad, as it was nothing but a bunch of walking around with one spot after another. They threw in some lighttubes to try and make it more violent but this felt like it just came and went. I like Warner’s work from MLW, but this wasn’t working as it was the bad kind of deathmatch nonsense and didn’t do anything.

G-Raver is a monster but Su Yung has sent him an evil rose and James Mitchell is ready for her to end G-Raver for good.

Another intermission, featuring a funeral home documentary.

A woman named Jamie Senegal (I think?) says this show needs a diva so she’ll be a guest referee.

G-Raver vs. Su Yung

Senegal is guest referee and doesn’t seem that popular. Yung chases Jamie off to start and then stops to yell at the stairs. They go to opposite ends of the room and we’re ready to go, with the referee calling for a bell for the first time tonight. Raver throws her into a wall to start but Yung is back with a whip into the steps. A chair is tossed at Raver’s head but he shrugs it off and hammers away.

Raver knocks her down and gets in a stomp to the back but Yung hits him in the face. The spear sends Raver through a door for a delayed two and Yung needs a breather. Raver hits a kendo stick shot to the back but Yung gets in a few stick shots of her own. Cue a parade of undead brides and they’ve got glass. This takes so long that Raver is able to hit a knee to the face for his own delayed two.

Raver busts out some tattoo needles (I remember Race and Brisco doing that back in 74) and stabs them into Yung’s head (Race vs. Brisco in 75) but Yung mists him. Yung takes some time getting up and a double clothesline puts both of them down again. A palm strike knocks Raver down again and they get over to the glass stretched out on the chairs.

Both escape finishers until the Panic Switch sends Raver through the glass for two (with commentary freaking out). Cue the undead brides again as Yung puts on Raver’s mask. She also grabs the….whatever the Grim Reaper carries with him but can’t quite stab him. Instead, Raver powerbombs her onto the brides for the pin, despite the referee implying Yung kicked out.

Rating: D+. At least there was something of a story here, even if it wasn’t good for the most part. Yung is one of the better evil/dead characters you’ll see and she plays the part rather well. Raver is someone I’ve heard of before but he didn’t show me much here. The ending being messed up didn’t help either, but pinning someone on a pile of people can’t be easy.

Post match Yung is back up with a Mandible Claw and a bag of thumbtacks. Said tacks are put in Raver’s mouth for a palm strike, but he’s right back with a brainbuster onto a chair so he can leave. The undead brides carry Yung away, as is their custom.

Fox says all good things must come to an end, but he isn’t sure if he would call everything tonight good. Preach it brother.

Alex Colon vs. Masada

Deathmatch dream match or something. They go straight to the brawling with Colon punching away. Masada is back up trade various hard shots to the head, with Masada missing a bunch of chair shots. Colon gets a trashcan put over his head as they fight up into the crowd. The bloody Masada gets the better of things as they fight back down to the floor with Colon in trouble. Some chairs are set up with a big skewer board being sat on top of it.

Masada puts some of the skewers in Colon’s head and adds some sign shots. Colon puts some skewers back into Masada’s head, allowing him to walk around for the horrible visual. They slug it out with Masada hitting him low and busting out more skewers. It’s time for a barbed wire door to be laid over some chairs but Colon fights back. Two low blows cut that off and it’s the Death Valley Driver off the platform through the door to give Masada the pin at 7:57.

Rating: D. This was your freak show match with the skewers and all that garbage to wrap up the night. Colon got beaten up pretty badly here and Masada continues to be some kind of a deathmatch legend. It was all about the blood and violence with a not exactly huge spot to wrap it up. At least it’s over though.

We actually roll credits to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: D-. I don’t think there’s any secret to the fact that this is not for me and I would not have gotten into this if I knew what it was beforehand. I’m not sure how you can call it a wrestling show when they don’t actually have a ring but I guess that’s the point of something like this. It has its audience and that’s all bad and worse, but egads this is hard to watch at times. The only good thing is that it was barely two hours when you favor out all of the delays. Just more violence and brawling throughout, albeit with a few talented people sprinkled throughout.

 

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Slumber Party Massacre
Date: April 4, 2019
Location: White Eagle Hall, Jersey City, New Jersey
Commentators: Matt Wadsworth, The Duke

Who can’t do four full shows in one day anymore? This is another Wrestlemania weekend show and another situation where I have no idea what to expect as I don’t follow Absolute Intense Wrestling. Here’s pretty much everything you need to know: the main event is Scott Steiner vs. Swoggle. We good? Let’s get to it.

No opening sequence, though it might have been cut off.

La Familia de Tijuana vs. Young Studs

Mexican Death Match. La Familia is Bestia 666/Damien 666 and the Studs are Bobby Beverly/Eric Ryan. There are a bunch of forks thrown into the ring and it’s time to go for blood early. I’m thinking I’ve made a mistake with this show. The blood is already flowing from Beverly’s head and it’s time to choke with belts. Ryan gets a chair wrapped around his neck and Damien sends it into the post. Eric is right back with a barbed wire bat to draw blood of his own and it’s time for some doors (they don’t use tables).

A chair gets rammed between Ryan’s legs, followed by the barbed wire being put against his head for some headbutts from Bestia. The Studs’ offense gets them nowhere and it’s a double MuscleBuster for two on Beverly. Ryan throws a chair at Damien to finally get somewhere and Beverly Japanese armdrags Ryan into both of them in the corner. And now, a door covered in forks. That takes a bit too long though and Damien hits a Death Valley Driver to put Ryan through the fork filled door for the pin at 9:34.

Rating: D. Oh yeah I’m not going to be liking this one very much as it’s seemingly trying to be ECW. There was no story mentioned here and it was just four people doing violent stuff to each other. Some of the spots were gruesome enough but there’s only so much you can get out of something like this.

Post match they shake hands and Ryan stabs himself in the head with a fork to a positive reaction.

Dominic Garrini vs. Joshua Bishop

Submission/surrender match. Garrini was on a show earlier today and Bishop (with manager Wes Barker) looks like a cross between Raven and Justin Credible. Garrini doesn’t waste time in kneeing Bishop outside for a double suicide dive. They chop it out as commentary says they don’t quite know why these two hate each other. Well at least they don’t like each other.

Bishop’s kick is caught and Garrini rams the ankle into the post for an F*** NO answer to a question of if he gives up. Bishop gets in a few shots to the ribs and it’s time for railroad spikes with both guys jabbing each other in the head over and over. The bloody Garrini goes for a choke but Barker hits him with a chair. That earns Barker a piledriver on the apron but Bishop chairs Garrini down to take over again.

Another door is set up between some chairs and Bishop powerbombs him through the door and the chairs. Back in and Garrini is alive enough to piledrive Bishop onto a chair for the NO so Garrini hits him with whatever he can find, including a tack covered bat to the face. Some wooden skewers are brought in but Bishop takes them away and drives it into Garrini’s cauliflower ear.

Bishop brings in a bag of tacks but gets front suplexed onto them, setting up a backsplash to make it even worse. Garrini drives the skewers into his head (and they hang there) until Bishop drops him onto the tacks for another no. With nothing else working, Bishop handcuffs Garrini around the post and gets some lighter fluid from Barker. The threat of fire makes Garrini give up at 11:25.

Rating: D+. Well that was sick. It had more of a story than the first match but I have a feeling we’re in for a lot of these matches tonight, albeit with a much more technical match thrown in so they can call themselves a wrestling company. I’m not a fan of this kind of insane stuff and it feels out of the 90s more than anything else.

The students come in to clear out the ring as Garrini is unhooked.

Tag Team Titles: To Infinity and Beyond vs. The Production vs. The Boys From Jollyville vs. The Philly Marino Experience

To Infinity and Beyond (Cheech and Colin Delaney) are defending and I have no idea who anyone else are. The Boys From Jolly (T-Money/Nasty Russ Myers) are also known as the Jollyville F***-Its, the Experience (Philly Collins and Marino Tenaglia seemingly the most popular team here) dance a lot and the Production (Derek Director and Eddie Only) seem like they make movies. Marino dives off the top on the champs and it’s T Money spinning Collins around so Myers can punch him in the face.

The Production’s manager Danhauser comes in and helps beat up Experience, who pops up for some double teaming. The champs come back in and clear the ring setting up a suicide dive from Cheech. Not to be outdone, Myers moonsaults onto everyone but gets caught. Philly goes up as well and moonsaults the pile down.

Sunset Dreams hits Colin for two with the Production diving in for the save. The huge Money Pounces Derek to the floor and busts up Philly’s spine. Russ mostly misses a moonsault for no cover on Derek, leaving Money to dive on everyone. Myers hits a top rope splash on Eddie Only (Derek’s partner) but Colin makes a save with a bad Stunner. Back up and it’s a Codebreaker/hanging DDT to the Producers at the same time. Another Codebreaker to Derek, with Cheech holding him in place for a superbomb from Colin, driving Eddie onto Derek for the pin at 6:58.

Rating: C-. It was certainly fast paced, though again I have no idea who most of these people are, who I’m supposed to cheer for (apparently not the guy in a Toy Story jacket) but that’s not what matters in something like this. A place like AIW is all about cramming in as much stuff as you can into the time you have and not worrying about any kind of flow or storytelling. I get the idea and this was the best thing so far, but it’s much more exciting than good, which can get old after awhile.

Post match the champs tell the fans to shut up and yell about any REAL teams who want to come see them in Cleveland. In other words, this is the only real wrestling.

Eddie Kingston vs. Shinjiro Otani

Otani is a Japanese legend, making me wonder if he got lost coming here. Kingston gets taken down by the arm to start and Otani slaps on a headlock that Eddie can’t break. They go with the loud chop off with Eddie being knocked down into the corner for a very delayed Facewash. A Broski Boot makes it even worse and Otani does it again, kicking his young boys down in the process. It works so well that Otani does it again….and then a third time.

It’s finally enough for two before Eddie gets up and starts in on the knee. Otani’s chops are cut off by another kick to the leg and we hit a half crab. After the grab of a rope gets Otani out, Eddie kicks the leg out all over again, setting up the spinning Backfist to the Future for two. Otani is right back up with a legsweep and a German suplex into a lariat for the pin at 9:47.

Rating: C. Well that was better than I expected, which has nothing to do with the match being an actual wrestling match instead of some violent brawl. Otani is a cool get for the show as he was wrestling all the way back in 1992 (and at Starrcade 1995) so it was cool to see something like this. Not a great match (Otani’s leg being fine out of nowhere was a stretch) but after everything else, I’ll take what I can get.

Post match Kingston praises Otani in Japanese.

Swoggle vs. Scott Steiner

Duke has been replaced on commentary by Colin Delaney. Steiner comes out but says cut his music, because he has some special music for this match. That would be….Short People by Randy Newman. Swoggle flips him off as Steiner conducts the crowd in a funny bit. Steiner swears a lot and rants about being politically correct before ripping into Swoggle with a variety of names that would be censored elsewhere.

He’s too good to face Swoggle here so Steiner has brought in his own short guy: Cabana Man Dan, who hits Swoggle with a flip flop. The German suplexes have Dan in trouble and Swoggle makes him tap to the Recliner. A woman who came out with Steiner gets in the ring so Swoggle kisses her, drawing Steiner in to blast him and get things going. Steiner sends him outside but Swoggle finds a beer to spit in Steiner’s face.

That just earns him a chair to the back and one near the head. Steiner swears a lot and hits him with another chair but it’s Dan’s turn to go inside. Dan spanks Swoggle with the flip flop….and Steiner beats Dan up too. Some belly to belly suplexes send Dan outside but Swoggle is up with a double middle finger. That means a Steiner Line and a belly to belly for two with Steiner pulling him up.

Rating: B. Well what else were you expecting here? I’ll give them some major, major points for actually making this something other than straight comedy and not having Swoggle win for the sake of a feel good moment. This was much more entertaining than it had any right to be (consider who was in there for a second) and I had a good time with it. Well done for a match that should have been an even bigger joke.

Maxwell Jacob Friedman/Ethan Page vs. Colt Cabana/Space Monkey

I know these people! You knew Cabana would be all over this weekend and that’s not a bad thing. Hang on a second as Page says Cabana needs to let his son be his (as in Page’s) partner. Cabana says deal so here’s….MJF for the match in I’m guessing an angle that they’re not bothering to explain. The fans sing YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE, presumably at Friedman, again in something that isn’t explained here.

Monkey shrugs it off and starts cleaning house but Page breaks up the monkey flip. A delayed vertical suplex drops Monkey and it’s off to MJF to stand on the tail. And now, just because, a tail lock. Monkey isn’t having that and it’s off to Cabana for elbows and a spinning spinebuster. MJF jumps on Cabana’s back and rants about Cabana being his father but gets taken down into the Billy Goat’s Curse for the tap at 7:45.

Rating: D+. I shouldn’t be left with a confused look on my face after a match but that’s what we had here. They could have explained the story here but that’s not as important as yelling laughing at Colt’s shtick. The joke seemed funny, but when you’re stuck trying to figure out what’s going on, it doesn’t exactly have the same impact.

Mance Warner vs. Nick Gage

Dang it this wasn’t on the card so it’s an extra match. Warner comes out to Simple Man, making him more awesome than usual. It’s just a cover but a heck of a well done one for a great entrance. Gage gets a hero’s welcome here and they go right with the fighting as this isn’t going to be anything but violence. Both guys get rammed into various things and it’s a chair across Gage’s back.

They fight up to the stage and trade shots to the face until Warner gets thrown off the stage. Gage bites the head and brings Warner and a chair back in but takes a running knee to the head for two. A bulldog onto Cage’s arm onto the chair keeps Gage in trouble but Warner takes too long on the lariat, allowing Gage to DDT him onto a chair. There’s the chokebreaker and a Broski Boot to drive a chair into Warner’s face. Warner’s manager Duke comes in and chairs Warner by mistake, earning a chair shot from Gage. Colin: “See Duke? Now you’re a dead person.”

Gage bridges another door between two chairs but gets chokeshoved off the middle rope through said door for two. A piece of the door hits Warner in the head but he pops up with a pair of lariats for two more. Gage is right back with back to back piledrivers onto a door into a powerbomb for the pin at 11:39.

Rating: C-. The lack of blood helped this a lot as it was more about two hardcore guys hitting each other. I never need to see another weapon shot to the head again and Gage isn’t a wrestler, but that’s not the point of something like this. I’ve really enjoyed what I’ve seen and heard from Warner though and it helped having him here a lot.

Post match Gage thanks the fans and promises to quit when the people stop cheering him, throwing in a small ton of F bombs along the way.

Absolute Title: Pretty Boy Smooth vs. Tim Donst vs. Matthew Justice vs. Tom Lawlor

Smooth is defending and Justice’s Intense Title isn’t on the line. Lawlor has never been pinned in singles competition and dances around the ring for a rather different presentation than you get in MLW. Lawlor is introduced as the 2005 Bob Evans pie eating champion. Smooth is a giant and probably stands about 6’8/9. Everyone goes after Smooth to start but he’s right back up and throws everyone around without much trouble.

Lawlor takes him down and grabs a Figure Four but throws in an ankle lock on Justice for a bonus. Donst makes the save before using Lawlor as a launchpad for an elbow on Smooth. Justice is back up with the suicide dives, plus a running elbow off the apron to send Lawlor into some chairs. Lawlor is right back up and chops it out with Justice, who gets the better of it. A big dive onto the floor takes out everyone for the major crash.

Back in and Justice gets crotched on top, setting up a heck of a superplex. Donst isn’t done and suplexes Justice into the other two for a near fall. Everyone gets a suplex from Donst, who collapses after throwing everyone. Justice is up first and goes Coast to Coast to hit Lawlor, who is then backdropped onto Justice and Smooth. Back in and it’s a series of rollups for two each before it’s a four way slugout from their knees. Donst’s Drunken Driver (Jay Driller) gets two on Justice as this just keeps going.

Smooth’s Call the Coroner chokebomb gets two on Lawlor so it’s time to throw in a bunch of chairs. Six of them are set up in a row but it’s Donst coming in and laying out Smooth. An STO plants Lawlor and a Drunken Driver through the chairs gets two more. The Rings of Saturn (Donst is billed as a mat wrestler and this is some of the first mat wrestling I’ve seen) go on and Justice’s chair shots can’t break it up. A third finally does it and Lawlor is up again, this time grabbing a choke on Smooth for the knockout win at 18:36.

Rating: D+. This was long and came at the end of a long night so it was kind of a chore to sit through. I have no idea why these people are fighting and that has been a problem all night long. Lawlor winning seems to be the smartest move as he’s the only one with any kind of a story. There were some good spots here but for the most part it just went on too long and had WAY too many kickouts.

Post match Lawlor thanks the company for giving him a chance about two years ago. The fans don’t really want to hear this and boo rather loudly. A year ago, he broke his arm in this company and rushed back but didn’t get a title shot. He got it tonight and showed AIW that he’s the best. Lawlor has a beer to end the night.

Overall Rating: D. I think the term “not for me” applies here as I wasn’t into almost any of this. It felt like an ECW knockoff (not all night, but for a lot of it) and that’s not something I was interested in with the ECW talent, let alone a place like this. It was FAR from the worst show I’ve ever seen but I had no idea what the stories were and since the announcers didn’t bother to tell me, you can only really go off of the product itself. That wasn’t very good either and the show felt very long. Not a disaster, but also certainly not worth as much as the WrestleCon Supershow or WXW. I likely won’t be back.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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