WWE Vault Grab Bag VII: Mix N Match
WWE Vault Grab Bag VII
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bill Mercer, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles
It’s that time again as I have a bunch of matches ready to go from the WWE Vault (and maybe a few from some other WWE associated channels) and we’ll be looking at some random ones. I have no idea what’s going to be on here and that has made for some fun versions of this before. Let’s get to it.
From July 11, 2011, in Boston, Massachusetts, a dark match after Raw (and six days before Money In The Bank).
CM Punk vs. John Cena
Non-title, I think. Cena starts fast by sending him into the buckle a few times and they’re quickly on the floor. Punk is sent over and into the announcers’ table, with Cena pausing for a drink to spit in Punk’s face (our hero). Back in and Punk gets in a shot of his own, allowing him to wipe some of the water out of his face. Cena is sent into the steps (as tended to be the case in a lot of his matches), allowing Punk to grab the mic (uh oh).
He wants to congratulate Derek Jeter (who had just gotten his 3,000th hit) and hits Cena in the head with the mic and then congratulates himself for the cover. Granted it only gets two so Punk grabs a figure four necklock. That doesn’t last long so Punk gets two more off of a DDT. With that not working, Punk loads up the announcers’ table but Cena cuts him off and…misses a flying shoulder to send him right back to the floor.
A chair is brought in as I guess this is a street fight (makes sense) and Cena is beaten down again. The leg lariat cuts off a comeback attempt and we’re in the chinlock. Punk seems to load up the People’s Elbow but stops to yell at a fan (who might be John Cena’s father), even grabbing him over the barricade. Said fan (and said Cena’s father) punches Punk, allowing Cena to whip him into the chair in the corner. The AA gives Cena the pin at 9:24.
Rating: B-. It was clearly the kind of match where they weren’t exactly in high gear out there and that’s the point of a dark match. Having Cena Sr. get involved made it feel a bit more special and Punk’s Jeter deal in the middle was funny. They would have the big showdown in six days, but it was nice to see them do this king of match, as they’ve probably done it a hundred times.
From Minneapolis, Minnesota, August 26, 1984. I’ve been dreading and waiting for this one. There’s no way to put this as it’s the time Mean Gene Okerlund teamed up with Hulk Hogan.
Now since this is the best wrestling channel ever, OF COURSE they include the fairly famous training videos, with Hogan going to see Gene at five in the morning (ignore the clock saying it’s about 8:55) and finding him smoking a cigar. Hogan freaks out over Gene wanting to have pancakes, bacon and eggs and coffee so Hogan is going to make him breakfast. This means a bunch of raw eggs, which has Gene thinking twice (that image was in his Titantron video at Wrestlemania X7).
Hogan is willing to let it go for now because they need to run a few miles before the sun comes up. They go running (in the middle of the day) and Gene actually keeps up with him for the most part). Then Hogan tells him they need to do it again, this time with the Eye Of The Hulkster. The run continues (now with Gene in different clothes) through the streets but Gene stops for a beer and a bratwurst.
Hogan cuts that off and it’s time for Day 2, as they hit the gym (Hogan’s Mean Gene O Mania shirt is great.). It’s off to Day 3, with Hogan showing up at 6am and I guess they break into an empty arena to run the steps. Hogan even does one of them with Gene on his shoulders and then makes Gene do it with Hogan on his back (what an imagine). Day 4 sees Hogan using Gene as a wheelbarrow up a flight of stairs and Gene thinks he’s ready. That’s not enough so we go full training montage, set to Real American. Dang this was great and…oh yeah we have a match (the opponents haven’t been mentioned to this point.
Hulk Hogan/Gene Okerlund vs. George Steele/Mr. Fuji
As I try to get my head around Gene in trunks (and Hogan in blue, unfortunately not matching Gene in black), Hogan and Fuji start things off with Hogan sending him flying. Steele comes in for a pose off with Hogan and we’re clipped (“FULL MATCH” my spleen) to Steel hitting Hogan in the throat to take over. Hogan Hulks Up and slugs away, with Steele bailing out to the floor.
Gene even goes to the apron to stomp on Fuji’s fingers but stops to high five Hogan, which means a tag. Gene actually gets in to face Steele and immediately crawls through the legs and brings Hogan back in to fire away. We’re clipped again to Hogan beating on Fuji but having to cut off an interfering Steele. Gene pulls the salt away from Fuji and actually kicks him down, allowing Hogan to drop Gene onto Fuji for the pin at 3:30 shown (the whole thing runs about 10:20 so they clipped the heck out of it).
Rating: B. Ok I don’t think I’m spoiling much here when I say the match isn’t the point. This was ALL about the gloriously 80s training videos, with Gene going from a cigar smoking pancake eater to the peak of his physical prowess in about four days through the power of Hulkamania. It’s a great example of “so bad that it’s great” and I had a blast with the whole thing. If you’re a fan of 80s wrestling and haven’t seen…well if you’re a fan you better have seen it.
Post match Gene and Hogan clear the ring and pose, which is as amazing as you could imagine.
From Rochester, New York, June 5, 1990, a dark match at a Wrestling Challenge taping.
Rockers vs. Demolition
Demolition’s Tag Team Titles don’t seem to be on the line here and this is Smash/Crush as Ax (here too) is still recovering from his health issues. Michaels tries the speed on Crush to start but can’t get an O’Connor roll. Instead Crush pulls him out of the air, only for Jannetty to come in with a dropkick to the back to knock them down. Smash comes in and gets his arm worked over by both of them before Jannetty flips over him.
Michaels is back in with a high crossbody for two, though the kickout sends him outside for a cheap shot from Ax. That means it’s time to start in on Michaels’ back, with Crush getting in the required bearhug. A backdrop (eventually) gets Michaels over and the it’s back to the bearhug. We actually get a third bearhug before Michaels is driven into the corner.
Crush charges into a boot and Michaels gets in a harder than expected clothesline. Jannetty is in for the fired up comeback but Smash cuts him off. The Demolition Decapitator is broken up so Crush tries it again, this time with a bit more success. Michaels dives off the top for the save and the double fist drop connects. Smash makes his own diving save but Ax gets in a cheap shot to Michaels to give Smash the pin at 9:06.
Rating: B. This took some time but they were rolling by the end, with the Rockers being able to keep the pace going and Demolition, even this version, being good enough with the power. The big saves at the end were rather good and these guys had chemistry together. It’s a shame we didn’t get more of them, as it could have gone well on a big stage.
Post match Michaels staggers around like he’s drunk. Well, it’s a possibility. We also get a replay of the interference, making me think this was going to be released somewhere but wasn’t for whatever reason.
From August 4, 1986 in Fort Worth, Texas in the WCWA (WCCW).
Bruiser Brody vs. Abdullah The Butcher
Gary Hart is here with Butcher, who gets checked for weapons before the match. Shockingly enough Butcher jumps him on the way in and Brody is right there for the opening brawl (as opposed to the main brawl and likely post match brawl). Butcher’s kicks to the gut are shrugged off and Brody kicks him down to quite the reaction. Brody stomps him on the apron and grabs the mic but Butcher is back with the spike to the face.
Hart is offended that the referee thinks Butcher had a foreign object and Butcher slowly hammers away. Brody knocks him down but they’re both banged up and bloody so they need a breather. That doesn’t last long as Brody gets a chair to blast him in the head and of course they go out into the crowd. They fight behind a big door with Hart trying to hold it closed, only for Brody to come out with a piece of wood to knock Butcher back towards ringside. The referee throws it out at 7:33.
Rating: C. This is the definition of “you know what you’re going to get” and that’s exactly what happened. You have this match for the sake of pure insanity with everyone going everywhere and all the blood and such. It was another run of the mill match between them, though Hart trying to hold the door closed was worth a look.
Post match Brody stays on him until Hart hits Brody with a chair. That lets Butcher get the board and hammer Brody in the head. Some wrestlers come out and get beaten up as Brody is carried out. Hart still insists that Brody was the only one cheating.
From Monday Night Raw, June 28, 1999, the highest rated match in Raw history.
WWF Title: Steve Austin vs. The Undertaker
Austin is challenging, having made the match before he was cheated out of being CEO the previous night at King Of The Ring. Austin starts fast by taking him into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs. That’s broken up and Undertaker pounds away, only for Austin to come back with the Thesz press. The middle finger elbow gives Austin two but the threat of a Stunner sends Undertaker outside.
Back in and Paul Bearer offers a distraction so Undertaker can get in a big boot. Lawler says Austin doesn’t have a heart anymore, “like the Scarecrow in the Wizard Of Oz.”. They go outside again, where Austin’s piledriver attempt is countered with a backdrop. Back in and Undertaker clotheslines him into a chinlock as the fans are still right behind Austin.
Old School sets up another chinlock but Austin fights up again…and is knocked into a third chinlock. Back up and it’s a double clothesline for a double down but Undertaker sits up. The Stunner connects out of nowhere but Bearer pulls the referee out. Back in and another Stunner gives Austin the title back at 12:03.
Rating: C. This was oddly similar to the Mankind title win earlier in the year, as you could kind of tell that the title was going to change hands but the match wasn’t exactly great. It’s little more than a dull house show level match with the chinlocks killing the momentum, but you knew what was coming and that kept things interesting. Fans love it when big things like this happen, hence the giant 9.5 rating, even if the match wasn’t much to see.
Post match Undertaker jumps Austin again and busts him open.
From WCW Saturday Night, April 8, 1995.
Sting vs. Steve Austin
Austin has Colonel Robert Parker with him. Sting works on the arm to start but Austin is back up with a headlock. That’s reversed into a backdrop and Sting gets his own headlock. Austin gets up and backs him into the corner, with Schiavone wondering if we’ll get a clean break or not. Schiavone: “Not.” Sting shrugs it off and catapults Austin into the corner, with a rollup getting two. The splash hits raised knees though and Austin hammers on the ribs, including a hard whip into the corner.
The Boston crab stays on Sting’s ribs but Austin gets caught holding the rope. Sting is back up with the clotheslines and the running faceplant, setting up the right hands in the corner. A posting sets up a heck of a top rope splash but Sting misses in a huge crash. They fight over a Tombstone with Sting finally planting him but Austin rolls outside. Back in and Sting grabs a cradle for the pin at 12:58.
Rating: B. It’s kind of amazing how much better Austin got in such a short time. He only had about a month to go in WCW before moving on to ECW and discovering the personality that would make him a star. At this point, he’s a clearly talented but kind of generic heel, with Parker not exactly helping him. Sting was his usual self and the fans were into it, but this was a still developing Austin.
From May 30, 1986 in the UWF in Houston, Texas.
UWF Title: Terry Gordy vs. Jim Duggan
This is the finals of a tournament to crown a new champion but hang on as the One Man Gang is here. Gang says he heard there was going to be a tournament here and he never got an invitation, which is ridiculous because he can beat anyone. He issues the challenge right here right now, with Duggan telling him to make his move. The brawl is on and they head outside, where Gang gets posted. Duggan can get in a chair shot and they head back inside, with Gang hammering away as Gordy and Michael Hayes just look on.
Duggan’s right hands are shrugged off and Gang stomps him out to the floor. That doesn’t last long either as Duggan gives him a running forearm as Gang is already busted open. Some hard chair shots have Gang down and Duggan throws the referee into the cameraman. Gang misses the splash back inside and Duggan spears him out to the floor. The bloody Duggan can’t follow up though and Gang throws a chair inside.
We go to host Jim Ross, who welcomes us to the show and runs down the card. Ross throws it to Duggan (in a towel for some reason), who talks about the beating from Gang, who apparently left after Duggan went down from blood loss. Duggan was given five minutes to get ready and got up, but Steve Williams was there to tell him not to do it. That wasn’t going to happen either because he wanted the gray matter stuffed back in his head so he could fight.
Gordy pulled him back inside to start the fight and we see the last few minutes, with Duggan slugging away to put Gordy down. The spear connected but Duggan was too banged up, allowing Gordy to avoid another spear and send him outside. Hayes posted Duggan again and…well that’s it. Gordy would go on to win the match, which isn’t shown here. Not enough shown to rate but the brawl before the match was way better, as Duggan can do the brawling as well as anyone at this point.
From October 9, 2003 in Turku, Finland.
Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker
Undertaker is challenging and this was a Hidden Gem on the WWE Network. This is billed as presented in the most complete form possible, which usually means a music edit. Lesnar goes outside before the bell and yells at fans and we’re clipped to the match in progress and Lesnar bailing to the floor. It works so well that Lesnar does it again as the fans aren’t thrilled.
Lesnar grabs and throws down a chair before getting back inside and powering Undertaker into the corner. They finally lock up and go nowhere as this is absolutely a “we’re not really trying here” house show match to start. A big shove sends Lesnar outside and yep we’re stalling some more. Back in and Undertaker drops him with a shoulder into a hiptoss so….let’s go outside AGAIN.
This time Lesnar rips up a sign and goes back inside to lock up again. Lesnar takes him into the corner again and kicks away, only to get caught with some arm cranking. Old School connects to get the fans back on their side and Undertaker grabs la majistral of all things for two. We’re clipped again to Undertaker missing a charge and crashing out to the floor as I wonder if it was clipped due to fans chanting, as there are some loud ones.
A whip to the steps has Undertaker in more trouble and Lesnar cranks on the leg in a variety of fashions back inside. The leg is wrapped around the rope but Undertaker knocks him into another corner. That’s cut off with a big spinebuster to give Lesnar two and it’s back to the leg cranking. Undertaker fights back but gets caught in an F5 out of nowhere for a near fall.
Back up and Undertaker knocks him down, setting up a limping big boot for two. The referee gets bumped and Undertaker hits the chokeslam for a not very delayed near fall. Lesnar misses a clothesline and takes the referee down again so the Last Ride gets no count. Well Undertaker counts but that doesn’t count. I think. Lesnar gets in some chair shots and the referee gets up to count the pin at 14:47 shown. I can’t imagine they clipped much out of this one.
Rating: C. I’ve seen this one before and it’s quite a house show match. You can tell they weren’t exactly going at top gear here but it’s part of a European house show tour so they’re not going to have the most energy. It doesn’t help that Biker Taker and Lesnar didn’t have the best chemistry either. The match was perfectly ok for the spot they were in, but it’s not exactly great.
Post match Undertaker beats him down with the chair to get some heat back. Cue Rhyno to go after Undertaker but Eddie Guerrero runs in (on his birthday) to make the save.
From Terry Funk’s WrestleFest.
Rob Van Dam vs. Dory Funk Jr.
Bill Alfonso is here with Van Dam and Funk would be about 55 here. Before the match Alfonso insults Funk’s family, including his grandson by saying….yeah I have no idea, as was often the case with Alfonso. Van Dam poses a lot to start and Alfonso goes nuts with the whistle until Funk grabs a headlock. A running forearm puts Van Dam on the floor and we get more whistling.
Back in and Van Dam sweeps the leg for a corkscrew legdrop so Funk fires off the uppercuts. Funk mocks Van Dam’s pose and they go outside, with Funk being rammed into the apron. Van Dam’s big running flip dive barely graces Funk and they’re both down. Back in and Van Dam hammers away as Alfonso goes nuts with the freaking whistle. A springboard legdrop gives Van Dam two but Funk is right back with the uppercuts.
Eventually a butterfly suplex sets up the spinning toehold but Van Dam makes the rope. That means a Van Daminator can hit Funk and we pause for a bit before Van Dam can fire off more right hands. One heck of a Five Star gets….nothing as Van Dam just punches him again. Funk is back up with backdrop but gets small packaged for a rather near fall. Funk sits him on top for a nasty belly to back suplex, which is enough to shoot the half and cradle Van Dam for the pin at 11:35.
Rating: C+. This is a perfect example of a “well, that’s a match that actually happened”. The show was in honor of Terry Funk so of course Dory was there, and even in his mid-50s he could still more than handle himself in the ring. Van Dam wasn’t a big star yet but you could see the potential, and if Dory was willing to work with him, there must have been something there.
From February 23, 1990 in Detroit, Michigan, a dark match before The Main Event.
Dusty Rhodes vs. Mr. Perfect
The Genius is here with Perfect, Sapphire is here with Rhodes, and this is their only recorded singles match. They circle each other to start, with Rhodes mocking Perfect with some prancing. A pair of shoulders put Perfect on the floor and Rhodes brings him back in to pound away in the corner, reminiscent of a monkey with some funk. Back in again and they jaw at each other until Perfect sweeps the leg for the Robinsdale Crunch.
Perfect works on the leg in the corner and in the middle until Rhodes gets a small package so bad that it doesn’t even get one. The Figure Four keeps the leg in trouble but Rhodes finally turns it over and gets his far worse version. That’s broken up as well and Perfect is sent into the ropes, where his head gets tied up ala Cactus Jack. Perfect gets loose so Rhodes knocks him down for the elbow, only for Genius to offer a distraction. Sapphire goes after him so Perfect goes after her, allowing Rhodes to grab a rollup for the pin at 9:28.
Rating: C-. I can’t imagine you were expecting a good match here but that was not the point of Rhodes in the WWF. As usual, the charisma and energy were off the charts and Rhodes could get the fans behind him no matter what he was doing. If nothing else, it’s always weird to see Perfect lose, especially as this was just about a month and a half before his first official loss at Wrestlemania VI.
Post match, dancing ensues.
From (I believe) August 19, 1991 in Rochester, New York.
Undertaker vs. Ultimate Warrior
Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker and this is one of the first casket matches. Undertaker tries to jump him before the bell and gets sent face first into the casket instead. The casket is already dented (must be cheap materials) and they get inside, where Undertaker chokes away. Warrior shrugs that off and knocks him down, only to get caught with a kneeling uppercut.
A rather safe Tombstone lets Undertaker….come close to putting Warrior in the casket but he stops to choke instead. Undertaker FINALLY puts him in the casket but Warrior gets up, grabs the Urn, and knocks Undertaker silly (Bearer’s ridiculous reaction is the highlight of the match) to win at 5:50.
Rating: D+. There was nothing to this other than for a way to have Undertaker lose without getting pinned. Warrior was about a week away from vanishing from the company for good, resulting in Randy Savage having to be brought back out of retirement to take his place. I’d call that an upgrade, as Savage fighting Undertaker could have been awesome. Either way, not a good match to wrap things up with here.
Post match Warrior runs away as Undertaker gets out of the casket.
Overall Rating: C. Yeah this wasn’t one of the better overall selections, with very little worth seeing. The Mean Gene training videos were great old school fun, but that’s really about it. There’s nothing overly terrible (the casket match came close) but it’s really just a bunch of random stuff, which is the point of something like this. You don’t know what you might be seeing on any given day on the WWE Vault and it’s fascinating to see what they throw out there. These things are some of the most fun I get to have either way, as I love the randomness of the stuff they release, as it could be just about anything.
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