WWE Vault Grab Bag VII: Mix N Match

WWE Vault Grab Bag VII
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bill Mercer, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles

It’s that time again as I have a bunch of matches ready to go from the WWE Vault (and maybe a few from some other WWE associated channels) and we’ll be looking at some random ones. I have no idea what’s going to be on here and that has made for some fun versions of this before. Let’s get to it.

From July 11, 2011, in Boston, Massachusetts, a dark match after Raw (and six days before Money In The Bank).

CM Punk vs. John Cena

Non-title, I think. Cena starts fast by sending him into the buckle a few times and they’re quickly on the floor. Punk is sent over and into the announcers’ table, with Cena pausing for a drink to spit in Punk’s face (our hero). Back in and Punk gets in a shot of his own, allowing him to wipe some of the water out of his face. Cena is sent into the steps (as tended to be the case in a lot of his matches), allowing Punk to grab the mic (uh oh).

He wants to congratulate Derek Jeter (who had just gotten his 3,000th hit) and hits Cena in the head with the mic and then congratulates himself for the cover. Granted it only gets two so Punk grabs a figure four necklock. That doesn’t last long so Punk gets two more off of a DDT. With that not working, Punk loads up the announcers’ table but Cena cuts him off and…misses a flying shoulder to send him right back to the floor.

A chair is brought in as I guess this is a street fight (makes sense) and Cena is beaten down again. The leg lariat cuts off a comeback attempt and we’re in the chinlock. Punk seems to load up the People’s Elbow but stops to yell at a fan (who might be John Cena’s father), even grabbing him over the barricade. Said fan (and said Cena’s father) punches Punk, allowing Cena to whip him into the chair in the corner. The AA gives Cena the pin at 9:24.

Rating: B-. It was clearly the kind of match where they weren’t exactly in high gear out there and that’s the point of a dark match. Having Cena Sr. get involved made it feel a bit more special and Punk’s Jeter deal in the middle was funny. They would have the big showdown in six days, but it was nice to see them do this king of match, as they’ve probably done it a hundred times.

From Minneapolis, Minnesota, August 26, 1984. I’ve been dreading and waiting for this one. There’s no way to put this as it’s the time Mean Gene Okerlund teamed up with Hulk Hogan.

Now since this is the best wrestling channel ever, OF COURSE they include the fairly famous training videos, with Hogan going to see Gene at five in the morning (ignore the clock saying it’s about 8:55) and finding him smoking a cigar. Hogan freaks out over Gene wanting to have pancakes, bacon and eggs and coffee so Hogan is going to make him breakfast. This means a bunch of raw eggs, which has Gene thinking twice (that image was in his Titantron video at Wrestlemania X7).

Hogan is willing to let it go for now because they need to run a few miles before the sun comes up. They go running (in the middle of the day) and Gene actually keeps up with him for the most part). Then Hogan tells him they need to do it again, this time with the Eye Of The Hulkster. The run continues (now with Gene in different clothes) through the streets but Gene stops for a beer and a bratwurst.

Hogan cuts that off and it’s time for Day 2, as they hit the gym (Hogan’s Mean Gene O Mania shirt is great.). It’s off to Day 3, with Hogan showing up at 6am and I guess they break into an empty arena to run the steps. Hogan even does one of them with Gene on his shoulders and then makes Gene do it with Hogan on his back (what an imagine). Day 4 sees Hogan using Gene as a wheelbarrow up a flight of stairs and Gene thinks he’s ready. That’s not enough so we go full training montage, set to Real American. Dang this was great and…oh yeah we have a match (the opponents haven’t been mentioned to this point.

Hulk Hogan/Gene Okerlund vs. George Steele/Mr. Fuji

As I try to get my head around Gene in trunks (and Hogan in blue, unfortunately not matching Gene in black), Hogan and Fuji start things off with Hogan sending him flying. Steele comes in for a pose off with Hogan and we’re clipped (“FULL MATCH” my spleen) to Steel hitting Hogan in the throat to take over. Hogan Hulks Up and slugs away, with Steele bailing out to the floor.

Gene even goes to the apron to stomp on Fuji’s fingers but stops to high five Hogan, which means a tag. Gene actually gets in to face Steele and immediately crawls through the legs and brings Hogan back in to fire away. We’re clipped again to Hogan beating on Fuji but having to cut off an interfering Steele. Gene pulls the salt away from Fuji and actually kicks him down, allowing Hogan to drop Gene onto Fuji for the pin at 3:30 shown (the whole thing runs about 10:20 so they clipped the heck out of it).

Rating: B. Ok I don’t think I’m spoiling much here when I say the match isn’t the point. This was ALL about the gloriously 80s training videos, with Gene going from a cigar smoking pancake eater to the peak of his physical prowess in about four days through the power of Hulkamania. It’s a great example of “so bad that it’s great” and I had a blast with the whole thing. If you’re a fan of 80s wrestling and haven’t seen…well if you’re a fan you better have seen it.

Post match Gene and Hogan clear the ring and pose, which is as amazing as you could imagine.

From Rochester, New York, June 5, 1990, a dark match at a Wrestling Challenge taping.

Rockers vs. Demolition

Demolition’s Tag Team Titles don’t seem to be on the line here and this is Smash/Crush as Ax (here too) is still recovering from his health issues. Michaels tries the speed on Crush to start but can’t get an O’Connor roll. Instead Crush pulls him out of the air, only for Jannetty to come in with a dropkick to the back to knock them down. Smash comes in and gets his arm worked over by both of them before Jannetty flips over him.

Michaels is back in with a high crossbody for two, though the kickout sends him outside for a cheap shot from Ax. That means it’s time to start in on Michaels’ back, with Crush getting in the required bearhug. A backdrop (eventually) gets Michaels over and the it’s back to the bearhug. We actually get a third bearhug before Michaels is driven into the corner.

Crush charges into a boot and Michaels gets in a harder than expected clothesline. Jannetty is in for the fired up comeback but Smash cuts him off. The Demolition Decapitator is broken up so Crush tries it again, this time with a bit more success. Michaels dives off the top for the save and the double fist drop connects. Smash makes his own diving save but Ax gets in a cheap shot to Michaels to give Smash the pin at 9:06.

Rating: B. This took some time but they were rolling by the end, with the Rockers being able to keep the pace going and Demolition, even this version, being good enough with the power. The big saves at the end were rather good and these guys had chemistry together. It’s a shame we didn’t get more of them, as it could have gone well on a big stage.

Post match Michaels staggers around like he’s drunk. Well, it’s a possibility. We also get a replay of the interference, making me think this was going to be released somewhere but wasn’t for whatever reason.

From August 4, 1986 in Fort Worth, Texas in the WCWA (WCCW).

Bruiser Brody vs. Abdullah The Butcher

Gary Hart is here with Butcher, who gets checked for weapons before the match. Shockingly enough Butcher jumps him on the way in and Brody is right there for the opening brawl (as opposed to the main brawl and likely post match brawl). Butcher’s kicks to the gut are shrugged off and Brody kicks him down to quite the reaction. Brody stomps him on the apron and grabs the mic but Butcher is back with the spike to the face.

Hart is offended that the referee thinks Butcher had a foreign object and Butcher slowly hammers away. Brody knocks him down but they’re both banged up and bloody so they need a breather. That doesn’t last long as Brody gets a chair to blast him in the head and of course they go out into the crowd. They fight behind a big door with Hart trying to hold it closed, only for Brody to come out with a piece of wood to knock Butcher back towards ringside. The referee throws it out at 7:33.

Rating: C. This is the definition of “you know what you’re going to get” and that’s exactly what happened. You have this match for the sake of pure insanity with everyone going everywhere and all the blood and such. It was another run of the mill match between them, though Hart trying to hold the door closed was worth a look.

Post match Brody stays on him until Hart hits Brody with a chair. That lets Butcher get the board and hammer Brody in the head. Some wrestlers come out and get beaten up as Brody is carried out. Hart still insists that Brody was the only one cheating.

From Monday Night Raw, June 28, 1999, the highest rated match in Raw history.

WWF Title: Steve Austin vs. The Undertaker

Austin is challenging, having made the match before he was cheated out of being CEO the previous night at King Of The Ring. Austin starts fast by taking him into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs. That’s broken up and Undertaker pounds away, only for Austin to come back with the Thesz press. The middle finger elbow gives Austin two but the threat of a Stunner sends Undertaker outside.

Back in and Paul Bearer offers a distraction so Undertaker can get in a big boot. Lawler says Austin doesn’t have a heart anymore, “like the Scarecrow in the Wizard Of Oz.”. They go outside again, where Austin’s piledriver attempt is countered with a backdrop. Back in and Undertaker clotheslines him into a chinlock as the fans are still right behind Austin.

Old School sets up another chinlock but Austin fights up again…and is knocked into a third chinlock. Back up and it’s a double clothesline for a double down but Undertaker sits up. The Stunner connects out of nowhere but Bearer pulls the referee out. Back in and another Stunner gives Austin the title back at 12:03.

Rating: C. This was oddly similar to the Mankind title win earlier in the year, as you could kind of tell that the title was going to change hands but the match wasn’t exactly great. It’s little more than a dull house show level match with the chinlocks killing the momentum, but you knew what was coming and that kept things interesting. Fans love it when big things like this happen, hence the giant 9.5 rating, even if the match wasn’t much to see.

Post match Undertaker jumps Austin again and busts him open.

From WCW Saturday Night, April 8, 1995.

Sting vs. Steve Austin

Austin has Colonel Robert Parker with him. Sting works on the arm to start but Austin is back up with a headlock. That’s reversed into a backdrop and Sting gets his own headlock. Austin gets up and backs him into the corner, with Schiavone wondering if we’ll get a clean break or not. Schiavone: “Not.” Sting shrugs it off and catapults Austin into the corner, with a rollup getting two. The splash hits raised knees though and Austin hammers on the ribs, including a hard whip into the corner.

The Boston crab stays on Sting’s ribs but Austin gets caught holding the rope. Sting is back up with the clotheslines and the running faceplant, setting up the right hands in the corner. A posting sets up a heck of a top rope splash but Sting misses in a huge crash. They fight over a Tombstone with Sting finally planting him but Austin rolls outside. Back in and Sting grabs a cradle for the pin at 12:58.

Rating: B. It’s kind of amazing how much better Austin got in such a short time. He only had about a month to go in WCW before moving on to ECW and discovering the personality that would make him a star. At this point, he’s a clearly talented but kind of generic heel, with Parker not exactly helping him. Sting was his usual self and the fans were into it, but this was a still developing Austin.

From May 30, 1986 in the UWF in Houston, Texas.

UWF Title: Terry Gordy vs. Jim Duggan

This is the finals of a tournament to crown a new champion but hang on as the One Man Gang is here. Gang says he heard there was going to be a tournament here and he never got an invitation, which is ridiculous because he can beat anyone. He issues the challenge right here right now, with Duggan telling him to make his move. The brawl is on and they head outside, where Gang gets posted. Duggan can get in a chair shot and they head back inside, with Gang hammering away as Gordy and Michael Hayes just look on.

Duggan’s right hands are shrugged off and Gang stomps him out to the floor. That doesn’t last long either as Duggan gives him a running forearm as Gang is already busted open. Some hard chair shots have Gang down and Duggan throws the referee into the cameraman. Gang misses the splash back inside and Duggan spears him out to the floor. The bloody Duggan can’t follow up though and Gang throws a chair inside.

We go to host Jim Ross, who welcomes us to the show and runs down the card. Ross throws it to Duggan (in a towel for some reason), who talks about the beating from Gang, who apparently left after Duggan went down from blood loss. Duggan was given five minutes to get ready and got up, but Steve Williams was there to tell him not to do it. That wasn’t going to happen either because he wanted the gray matter stuffed back in his head so he could fight.

Gordy pulled him back inside to start the fight and we see the last few minutes, with Duggan slugging away to put Gordy down. The spear connected but Duggan was too banged up, allowing Gordy to avoid another spear and send him outside. Hayes posted Duggan again and…well that’s it. Gordy would go on to win the match, which isn’t shown here. Not enough shown to rate but the brawl before the match was way better, as Duggan can do the brawling as well as anyone at this point.

From October 9, 2003 in Turku, Finland.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is challenging and this was a Hidden Gem on the WWE Network. This is billed as presented in the most complete form possible, which usually means a music edit. Lesnar goes outside before the bell and yells at fans and we’re clipped to the match in progress and Lesnar bailing to the floor. It works so well that Lesnar does it again as the fans aren’t thrilled.

Lesnar grabs and throws down a chair before getting back inside and powering Undertaker into the corner. They finally lock up and go nowhere as this is absolutely a “we’re not really trying here” house show match to start. A big shove sends Lesnar outside and yep we’re stalling some more. Back in and Undertaker drops him with a shoulder into a hiptoss so….let’s go outside AGAIN.

This time Lesnar rips up a sign and goes back inside to lock up again. Lesnar takes him into the corner again and kicks away, only to get caught with some arm cranking. Old School connects to get the fans back on their side and Undertaker grabs la majistral of all things for two. We’re clipped again to Undertaker missing a charge and crashing out to the floor as I wonder if it was clipped due to fans chanting, as there are some loud ones.

A whip to the steps has Undertaker in more trouble and Lesnar cranks on the leg in a variety of fashions back inside. The leg is wrapped around the rope but Undertaker knocks him into another corner. That’s cut off with a big spinebuster to give Lesnar two and it’s back to the leg cranking. Undertaker fights back but gets caught in an F5 out of nowhere for a near fall.

Back up and Undertaker knocks him down, setting up a limping big boot for two. The referee gets bumped and Undertaker hits the chokeslam for a not very delayed near fall. Lesnar misses a clothesline and takes the referee down again so the Last Ride gets no count. Well Undertaker counts but that doesn’t count. I think. Lesnar gets in some chair shots and the referee gets up to count the pin at 14:47 shown. I can’t imagine they clipped much out of this one.

Rating: C. I’ve seen this one before and it’s quite a house show match. You can tell they weren’t exactly going at top gear here but it’s part of a European house show tour so they’re not going to have the most energy. It doesn’t help that Biker Taker and Lesnar didn’t have the best chemistry either. The match was perfectly ok for the spot they were in, but it’s not exactly great.

Post match Undertaker beats him down with the chair to get some heat back. Cue Rhyno to go after Undertaker but Eddie Guerrero runs in (on his birthday) to make the save.

From Terry Funk’s WrestleFest.

Rob Van Dam vs. Dory Funk Jr.

Bill Alfonso is here with Van Dam and Funk would be about 55 here. Before the match Alfonso insults Funk’s family, including his grandson by saying….yeah I have no idea, as was often the case with Alfonso. Van Dam poses a lot to start and Alfonso goes nuts with the whistle until Funk grabs a headlock. A running forearm puts Van Dam on the floor and we get more whistling.

Back in and Van Dam sweeps the leg for a corkscrew legdrop so Funk fires off the uppercuts. Funk mocks Van Dam’s pose and they go outside, with Funk being rammed into the apron. Van Dam’s big running flip dive barely graces Funk and they’re both down. Back in and Van Dam hammers away as Alfonso goes nuts with the freaking whistle. A springboard legdrop gives Van Dam two but Funk is right back with the uppercuts.

Eventually a butterfly suplex sets up the spinning toehold but Van Dam makes the rope. That means a Van Daminator can hit Funk and we pause for a bit before Van Dam can fire off more right hands. One heck of a Five Star gets….nothing as Van Dam just punches him again. Funk is back up with backdrop but gets small packaged for a rather near fall. Funk sits him on top for a nasty belly to back suplex, which is enough to shoot the half and cradle Van Dam for the pin at 11:35.

Rating: C+. This is a perfect example of a “well, that’s a match that actually happened”. The show was in honor of Terry Funk so of course Dory was there, and even in his mid-50s he could still more than handle himself in the ring. Van Dam wasn’t a big star yet but you could see the potential, and if Dory was willing to work with him, there must have been something there.

From February 23, 1990 in Detroit, Michigan, a dark match before The Main Event.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Mr. Perfect

The Genius is here with Perfect, Sapphire is here with Rhodes, and this is their only recorded singles match. They circle each other to start, with Rhodes mocking Perfect with some prancing. A pair of shoulders put Perfect on the floor and Rhodes brings him back in to pound away in the corner, reminiscent of a monkey with some funk. Back in again and they jaw at each other until Perfect sweeps the leg for the Robinsdale Crunch.

Perfect works on the leg in the corner and in the middle until Rhodes gets a small package so bad that it doesn’t even get one. The Figure Four keeps the leg in trouble but Rhodes finally turns it over and gets his far worse version. That’s broken up as well and Perfect is sent into the ropes, where his head gets tied up ala Cactus Jack. Perfect gets loose so Rhodes knocks him down for the elbow, only for Genius to offer a distraction. Sapphire goes after him so Perfect goes after her, allowing Rhodes to grab a rollup for the pin at 9:28.

Rating: C-. I can’t imagine you were expecting a good match here but that was not the point of Rhodes in the WWF. As usual, the charisma and energy were off the charts and Rhodes could get the fans behind him no matter what he was doing. If nothing else, it’s always weird to see Perfect lose, especially as this was just about a month and a half before his first official loss at Wrestlemania VI.

Post match, dancing ensues.

From (I believe) August 19, 1991 in Rochester, New York.

Undertaker vs. Ultimate Warrior

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker and this is one of the first casket matches. Undertaker tries to jump him before the bell and gets sent face first into the casket instead. The casket is already dented (must be cheap materials) and they get inside, where Undertaker chokes away. Warrior shrugs that off and knocks him down, only to get caught with a kneeling uppercut.

A rather safe Tombstone lets Undertaker….come close to putting Warrior in the casket but he stops to choke instead. Undertaker FINALLY puts him in the casket but Warrior gets up, grabs the Urn, and knocks Undertaker silly (Bearer’s ridiculous reaction is the highlight of the match) to win at 5:50.

Rating: D+. There was nothing to this other than for a way to have Undertaker lose without getting pinned. Warrior was about a week away from vanishing from the company for good, resulting in Randy Savage having to be brought back out of retirement to take his place. I’d call that an upgrade, as Savage fighting Undertaker could have been awesome. Either way, not a good match to wrap things up with here.

Post match Warrior runs away as Undertaker gets out of the casket.

Overall Rating: C. Yeah this wasn’t one of the better overall selections, with very little worth seeing. The Mean Gene training videos were great old school fun, but that’s really about it. There’s nothing overly terrible (the casket match came close) but it’s really just a bunch of random stuff, which is the point of something like this. You don’t know what you might be seeing on any given day on the WWE Vault and it’s fascinating to see what they throw out there. These things are some of the most fun I get to have either way, as I love the randomness of the stuff they release, as it could be just about anything.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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WWE Vault: Christmas Carnage: Like A Big Stocking (Includes Full Video)

Christmas Carnage
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect, Michael Hayes, Bobby Heenan, Jerry Lawler

This is the Christmas week contribution from the WWE Vault and that could have some possibilities. WWE has often done something over Christmas and it should be interesting to see what they have brought out of mothballs. There are quite a few options here and some of them are worth a look so let’s get to it.

From Smackdown, December 22, 2006.

Batista is in the ring and Santa Claus comes out with gifts for the fans. Michael Cole even gets a Roddy Piper DVD and shirt (not shown, but that’s what someone with notes from Smackdown from 2006 are for)…but then Santa hits Batista in his bad arm with a pipe. Cue Teddy Long to give Santa a match with Batista.

Batista vs. Santa Claus

Batista’s World Title isn’t on the line and Long might not be the nicest guy to have Batista in the match when he’s already hurt. Santa goes after the bad arm and slams it into the apron for two. Batista drives him into the corner but charges into a boot to the bad arm. A backdrop (looked like a mistimed spinebuster) sets up a spear and the beard comes off to reveal…Sylvan. The spinebuster and Batista Bomb finish at 1:41.

From Superstars, December 23, 1995.

Xanta Klaus vs. Scott Taylor

Yeah this had to be here. Xanta is better known as Balls Mahoney, is from the South Pole, and likes to steal presents. Some hard forearms, a belly to back suplex, and a camel clutch finish for Xanta at 1:31. The match was so short that I didn’t have time to mention Xanta’s manager, Ted DiBiase, doing a split screen interview and promising that the Million Dollar Champion is coming. This was the only match for Xanta, because….well how much of a shelf life was he going to have?

From Monday Night Raw, December 20, 1999.

Mankind is not happy about having to face Santa Claus in a Boiler Room Brawl because he doesn’t want to have to punch the rosy cheeks or kick him in the stomach that shakes like a bowlful of jelly. Cue the Mean Street Posse to jump him and send him into the boiler room, which has him rather disturbed to officially start things off.

Mankind vs. Santa Claus

Santa is in fact in the boiler room and Mankind isn’t sure what to do about this. Santa doesn’t want to put Mankind on the bad list so Mankind offers to let Santa walk out and win in peace. That works for Santa but three other Santas jump Mankind. He’s fine with fighting them and finds a well placed garbage can and some frying pants (in their bag of toys).

The three of them are down but two more are waiting on him and these two happen to be the New Age Outlaws, who have some better luck. Mankind fights back against the two of them like he’s in Championship Mode in No Mercy (SOCKO!) and grabs a mirror, naturally singing about chestnuts roasting on an open fire in the process. Another Santa knocks the mirror into his face to shatter it…and since it’s HHH, he tells Mankind to suck it and leaves to win at 3:34.

Rating: C. What in the world do you want me to say about this? It felt like some weird comic book scene with the collection of Santas coming at Mankind, who was almost fighting his nightmare scenario come to life. Like so much from this era, it wasn’t so much a match as a segment with brawling, but this did work for what it was supposed to be.

From Monday Night Raw, December 23, 2012.

Good Santa vs. Bad Santa

YES! This is the one I was hoping would be on here. Here we have a 400lb wig splitting World’s Strongest Santa vs. the Intellectual Santa of the Masses in a battle to save Christmas. The good one hits the bad one in the head to start and opens a package to find a toilet. Bad Santa goes face first into said toilet and they head outside, where the bad one finds a fire extinguisher….which doesn’t work.

The good one takes the pin out and sprays the bad one as commentary argues over whether Santa’s suit is fireproof or Santa himself. The bad one finds a Singapore candy cane to beat on the good one and wreck the (awesome) Christmas decorations, which is just too far for the good one. They fight back to ringside, with the bad one taking a present to the back. The bad one STILL can’t get the fire extinguisher to work so the good one sprays him again, setting up the World’s Strongest Slam (which Cole dubs the Sleigh Ride) for the pin at 3:20.

Rating: A+. I’m a Christmas fanatic and I remember loving this match live. It still holds up today as they absolutely knew the assignment and had a comedy brawl which didn’t overstay its welcome. That’s exactly what wrestling should be at times and it worked very well, with Henry being lovable and Sandow being the snob. Great stuff.

Post match Henry pulls out some cupcakes (he approves) and slams them into Sandow’s face. JBL: “Jimmy Stewart is rolling over in his grave right now.”

From Monday Night Raw, December 23, 2019.

We’re near the streets of New York City, where Santa Claus sends R-Truth over to his sled and then jumps Akira Tozawa to win the 24/7 Title. Of note: Santa was played by future AEW star Bear Bronson.

From Wrestling Challenge, November 27, 1993.

Doink The Clown is brought out for an interview, where he is told that there can only be ONE Doink in the WWF. Apparently he has drawn the ire of Bam Bam Bigelow and Luna Vachon, but he doesn’t care because he loves Christmas. Cue Santa Claus to hug Doink, who started off badly but has gotten a lot better. His present is in the bag, and it’s……a mini Doink! Actually that won’t work, as there can only be ONE Doink….so we’ll just call him Dink! Yeah sure why not. Dink leaves in a wagon and Heenan hopes he goes to play on the interstate.

From a Superstars taping in what looks like late 1992.

We meet Santa’s helpers from the South Pole: a couple of guys who whack their arms around and call each other Cousin Luke and Cousin Butch. They seem to love Christmas and remember their mother singing them Christmas songs (if they’re cousins, why do they have the same…..never mind). The interviewer is licked and toys are dispensed to the fans.

From World Class Championship Wrestling, December 25, 1983.

Michael Hayes dresses up like Santa and jumps the Von Erichs after a tag match. Mike Von Erich gets piledriven.

Overall Rating: B. Again, I love it when they throw in a few curves here and there with some actual interesting moments. Rather than doing a bunch of lame stuff that doesn’t matter, they went with stuff that a lot of fans probably haven’t thought of in a long time and it makes these things so much more fun. I love the Henry vs. Sandow match and the Mankind deal was a nice flashback. This could have been a lot longer but at just shy of thirty minutes, it’s hard to get too annoyed.

 

 

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WCW House Show – March 13, 1993: They Are So Polite

WCW House Show
Date: March 13, 1993
Location: G-Mex, Manchester, England

This is a show from the WCW European tour, which was apparently filmed back in the day and now we get to see what happened during a pretty bad period for the company. It should be fun though as this is a different kind of presentation from WCW and not something that has been seen before. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look at fans’ thoughts on WCW, even with some of them saying they like WWF better. This goes on rather long and apparently Arn Anderson has a big fan base in England.

The show is sold out so they’re doing ok enough.

We see Gary Michael Cappetta welcoming the fans to the show and the arena does look full. Not the biggest place, but there are people there. Cappetta tells us about the new NWA Champion (Barry Windham) being crowned at SuperBrawl. We run down some of the matches and wrestlers appearing tonight, plus we hear some rules, because that’s how you get the fans going.

Oh and Cappetta has one more announcement: Sting won the WCW World Title in London a few days ago and is defending the title tonight.

The cameras are a bit wide but this was clearly filmed to air somewhere rather than just being for internal use.

Johnny B. Badd vs. Scotty Flamingo

Flamingo (better known as Raven) dances to the ring, with the referee coming behind him for a weird visual. Badd backs him into the corner to start and Flamingo isn’t happy, only for Badd to do it again. An exchange of arm wringing goes to Badd so Flamingo grabs the hair (as he had falsely accused Badd of doing), only to get caught like a good heel should.

Flamingo’s arm is sent into the corner and we hit the armbar on the mat to keep him in trouble. Eventually they get up so Flamenco can hit a clothesline, only to get taken right back into the armbar. It works so well that they do it again, though this time Flamenco manages to elbow him in the face to actually take over. A snap suplex gives Flamenco two and it’s choking into the reverse chinlock.

Badd fights out of the regular chinlock…and is pulled right back down into the same thing. Another comeback attempt is cut off with a knee to the ribs but Badd is able to get up a third time for the real comeback. Flamenco whips him hard into the corner a few times though and a clothesline gets two. Back up and Badd has had enough of this and drops him with the left hand for the win at 15:21.

Rating: C+. This was a match where they had the chance to set things up and it worked out well enough. I could have gone for some more variety, but at the end of the day, this was about having Badd pop the crowd with his flamboyant style. Also, there’s something so effective about a finisher of just hitting the other guy in the face. Nice enough opener here and the fans seemed to like it.

Maxx Payne vs. Michael Hayes

So this is grunge vs. southern rock and…I don’t think anyone was asking to see it but at least it’s something. Hayes punches away to start and doesn’t get very far so they slow back down (I’m sure Hayes is disappointed). They take turns asking the crowd to cheer before Payne takes him to the mat with a headlock.

That’s reversed into a headscissors before they both get up as we’re somehow more than four minutes into this thing. A backdrop puts Hayes down and we hit the nerve hold to really keep the intensity up. Payne switches to choking on the ropes, followed by a belly to back suplex to cut off a comeback.

The chinlock goes on as this is setting a new level for dragging. Now we switch to a nerve hold, allowing us a few shots of the utterly bored crowd. Nice job WCW, as you’ve killed a crowd in less than half an hour. Hayes fights up and hits a clothesline to actually start the comeback, including a boot out of the corner. The DDT is blocked though and the Payne Killer (Fujiwara armbar) makes Hayes give up at 12:33.

Rating: D. This is the second Payne match I’ve seen recently and my goodness he was awful. It’s a bunch of dull holds and shrugging off Hayes’ already limited offense before finishing with an armbar. Ignore that he didn’t touch the arm before the finish so it comes right the heck out of nowhere.

Rick Rude/Barry Windham vs. Dustin Rhodes/Van Hammer

Hold on though as Windham and Rhodes get in a fight on the floor and Rhodes is beaten down. Van Hammer (in his not so great cowboyish phase) makes the save and apparently we’re getting something else.

Rick Rude vs. Van Hammer

Windham just vanished so this is all we have left. They take turns shoving each other into the corner and posing before Rude gets in a top wristlock. He even manages to throw in a hip swivel for the fans, which unfortunately doesn’t have Jesse Ventura there for the cheering. Hammer fights up and whips him into the corner, meaning we get to hit the reverse chinlock.

Some counterfeit hip swiveling gives Hammer a nice enough response but he misses a sitdown splash. Back up and Rude gets caught in a bearhug, with Hammer shaking him around, I guess trying to get the hip swiveling going again. Rude pokes him in the eyes to cut that off but gets clotheslined back down. A splash hits knees though and Rude swivels his hips, only to hurt his own ribs in the process.

The reverse chinlock goes on again but Hammer picks him up for an electric chair (Rude flailing his arms with his mouth wide open is a great visual). Hammer goes up and dives into raised boots, only for Rude to go up and dive into raised boots. Rude grabs a sleeper for a bit, with Hammer jawbreaking his way to freedom. The slingshot suplex gives Hammer two but he misses a charge into the corner, allowing the Rude Awakening to finish at 16:01.

Rating: C-. The good parts of this were ALL from Rude as his mannerisms were carrying things. I loved the early days of Hammer with the Heavy Metal stuff but once he lost his initial push, it was all downhill in a hurry. That was the case here, as he was doing almost nothing and even that looked bad. Rude on the other hand was great, and the fans were way into booing him.

Here is Johnny B. Badd for a special presentation. A woman announces that Badd is receiving an award from the British National Institute Of Sign Language. Badd seems appreciative and thanks everyone involved before getting in the ring to show off the certificate he received. There were some kids there with the woman presenting it so this is hard to complain about.

Intermission (cut out of course).

Davey Boy Smith vs. Vinnie Vegas

Vegas is a rather generic villain who is better known as Kevin Nash. Believe it or not, Bulldog (who is very new at this point) is crazy popular in England. They trade running shoulders to start until Bulldog hits a dropkick, leaving Vegas to pose. The fans like Bulldog’s posing more and also approve of him knocking Vegas outside. Back in and the test of strength goes to Vegas until Bulldog powers up and tries a slam…which fails.

Something like a Samoan drop gives Vegas two and he cuts off the suplex attempt rather quickly. The side slam plants Bulldog for two and we hit the sleeper. This goes on for a good while until Vegas hits a big boot and yells a lot. Bulldog fights up and makes the clothesline comeback, followed by the running powerslam for the win at 12:10.

Rating: C+. Gee do you think Bulldog was going to be over here? This was still brand new into his run with the company so not only was he in front of his crowd but he was fresh as well. Bulldog did most of his usual stuff here and looked good, though there was only so much anyone could get out of Vegas at this point.

Post match a kid gets in the ring to pose with Bulldog. Yeah that’s always going to work.

Vader vs. Cactus Jack

Harley Race is here with Vader, who poses at Jack a lot, giving us a rather amused look from Jack. Vader shoved him into the corner a few times and then runs him over with the standing splash. The big forearms in the corner connect and Race gets in some choking on the rope, as he is supposed to do. Back up and Jack gets a boot up in the corner, followed by a pair of DDTs.

A sleeper is broken up with a crash down onto the mat and they go outside. Vader misses a charge and crashes over the barricade, allowing Jack to slug away. A slam onto the concrete has Vader in more trouble and with Race yelling at the referee, Jack drops Vader with some chair shots.

Back in and Jack unloads in the corner but Vader gets a boot up and hits a middle rope clothesline. Kid in the crowd: “Come on Mr. Jack!” So polite. Vader sits down on Jack to cut off a sunset flip and (I’m assuming) the same kid says “YOU SHOULD HAVE MOVED!” Vader clotheslines Race by mistake but knocks Jack down again and hits the Vader Bomb. A second Bomb connects for two and Jack starts to get up, earning the classic Vader response of HITTING HIM REALLY HARD IN THE FACE.

After some spit for a bonus, Vader misses another sitdown splash but is right back with a middle rope splash. The second misses though and the Cactus Clothesline…well you know what it did as it’s the only thing it can do by definition. Jack flip dives off the apron and hits the double arm DDT but Race has the referee. That earns Race a beating but Vader hits a splash in the corner, followed by the powerbomb for the pin at 14:04.

Rating: B+. Yeah these guys always worked well together and this was no exception. Vader could work the smash mouth style like almost no one else and you know Foley is going to be right there with him the whole way. This was by far the best thing on the show thus far and I could watch these two hit each other in the face for a good while.

A fan who is described as “loud” gets a free program. Eh cool.

Cappetta thanks the fans for coming, which is always a nice touch.

WCW World Title: Sting vs. Paul Orndorff

Sting is defending, having won the title two days earlier. Orndorff grabs a headlock to start before they run the ropes, with Sting grabbing a backdrop to send Orndorff bailing for a breather. A wristlock works better for Sting but Orndorff kicks him out to the floor. The fight over a suplex goes to Sting though and he’s back in for an armbar. That’s broken up as well and Orndorff chokes on the rope, followed by some rammings into the barricade.

Back in and the front facelock goes on, with Orndorff even tying up his arms as well. Sting finally fights up but misses a Stinger Splash, allowing Orndorff to hit a dropkick. Back up and Sting hits a crossbody, only to get pulled back into the front facelock. With that not working, Orndorff calls for the piledriver but Sting backdrops his way out. Some right hands have Orndorff rocked and the Stinger Splash retains the title at 14:59.

Rating: C. The whole point of this was to have Sting out there defending the title against a warm body and Orndorff worked as well as anyone else. It was never going to be some classic and while the title wasn’t in jeopardy in theory, one would have thought the same thing when Vader was facing Sting two days earlier so it’s not a totally insane thought. The match itself wasn’t great, but Sting did what he was supposed to do.

And we’re out pretty fast.

Overall Rating: C. Other than Vader vs. Jack, there is nothing on here worth seeing but that’s not the point. The idea here was to give the fans a special experience and since England isn’t going to get something like this very often, it worked well. There is something so cool about seeing this kind of thing and I had a good time with it, even if most of the matches were a bit weak.

 

 

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Monday NIght Raw – March 4, 1996: Dig That Wrestling

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 4, 1996
Location: Cincinnati Gardens, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re less than a month away from Wrestlemania and Shawn Michaels is the star of the show. Michaels is on his way to the main event against Bret Hart for the WWF Title but he needs to be built up a bit more on the way there. That could mean some good matches along the Road To Wrestlemania so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a preview of the show.

Opening sequence.

Shawn Michaels vs. 1-2-3 Kid

Yeah this should work. Kid charges at Michaels before the bell and gets backdropped outside, even as the music is still playing. Michaels mocks the martial arts pose and gets taken down with a headlock as we officially start. A headlock takeover out of the corner brings Michaels down and Kid gets in a kick for two more. Back up and Michaels sends him to the floor and skins the cat, followed by a rare gorilla press slam.

We get a split screen interview with Bret Hart, who says he wouldn’t let Michaels get away with this stuff. Michaels grinds away on a headlock of his own but Kid is back up with a spinwheel kick for a breather. Kid sends him outside and hits a big dive, which has Lawler rather happy. Michaels’ head is rammed into the floor, which Hart doesn’t like as he doesn’t have any personal animosity against Michaels (A-HUH).

Back in and Kid kicks him down for two more and we take a break. We come back with Kid grabbing a chinlock until Michaels gets up, only to be kicked in the face for two more. Michaels fights up and hits the forearm as it’s already time for the comeback. Back up and Michaels head fakes him on a crossbody, setting up a top rope standing moonsault press for two instead. The top rope elbow connects but Kid bails from the threat of a superkick. Kid gets back in and manages a slam, only to miss a guillotine legdrop. Now the superkick can finish for Michaels at 13:36.

Rating: B. I for one am shocked that this was a good match as you had two talented stars getting some time to really make things work. It was one of the better matches you’ll see on Raw around this time, and the fact that they were friends behind the scenes is just a coincidence of course. Either way, heck of a match here.

Post match a kid gets in the ring to dance with Michaels. Eh sweet enough.

We get a Goldust film called Piper’s Pit, which is Goldust, with Marlena, on the set of, well, Piper’s Pit. He talks about the fantasies he had as a teenager from watching Roddy Piper on the set of the show. Stuff like the coconut bursting on Jimmy Snuka’s head you see. And the skirt, which had Goldust thinking about various things. Goldust picks up the bagpipes and isn’t very good at them. Yeah I think we get the idea here as they weren’t exactly pouring on the subtlety.

We look back at some great Ultimate Warrior moments, because he’s back at Wrestlemania.

Roddy Piper (WWF President at this point) is watching Raw in Hollywood and he needs to talk to Vince McMahon.

Hakushi vs. Justin Bradshaw

Uncle Zebekiah is here with Bradshaw, who is played to the ring by…Michael Hayes and the Raw Band. Which is actually a real thing. Ok then. Bradshaw starts stomping away as Vince talks to Piper, who says that he’ll announce Ultimate Warrior’s Wrestlemania opponent next week.

As Bradshaw kicks Hakushi in the face and drops a leg, Piper talks about how he fought Adrian Adonis so he knows what kind of mind games Goldust is playing. Hakushi fights up but charges into a boot to the floor, with Bradshaw hitting a dive to take him down again. Back in and another big boot sets up the lariat to finish for Bradshaw at 4:10.

Rating: C-. Well that seems to be it for Hakushi, who was more or less squashed here as the match was a backdrop for Piper talking about Goldust. Bradshaw is a fine choice for a Stan Lariat clone (minus a lot of the talent and charisma) but it’s not like this is going to get him very far. Not much to see here, and that’s a bad sign for Hakushi’s future.

Post match Hakushi gets hogtied and branded.

Mankind is in a very dark room (we can’t see his face) and talks about how he has dealt with evil for years and now it is time for others to face it as well. No one will have a nice day.

Bret Hart vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Non-title and we get a clip of a fan being moved to tears by getting Hart’s sunglasses at a recent live event. That’s awesome. Helmsley sends him into the corner to start but charges into a boot, allowing Hart to hit a clothesline. Hart hammers away and grabs an armbar for some cranking. Cue Shawn Michaels with a chair to watch at ringside and we take a break.

We come back with Hart taking him down by the arm again and working on a hammerlock. Helmsley gets up and rakes the eyes, allowing him to send Hart outside. Hart is fine enough to knock a dive out of the air as Vince thought Helmsley and Michaels might be in cahoots together (make your own jokes).

Back in and Helmsley hammers away in the corner, setting up a rather hard whip into the corner for two. We take another break and come back with Hart hitting a bulldog into the backbreaker. Naturally the middle rope elbow follows for two but Helmsley rolls him up for the same. Helmsley goes up and dives right into the Sharpshooter for the submission at 17:21.

Rating: B-. Helmsley wasn’t up to the next level yet but Hart was there to carry him far enough. It helps that the point of this match was to tease tension between Michaels and Hart, who are building towards one of the biggest matches of the year. Helmsley being in this kind of a match is a good sign for him, though he has a lot of work to do.

Michaels applauds Hart and leaves without incident.

And now, Tee Vee Trivia, which is a game show parody, featuring various quotes from Ted Turner, because this is a thing that had to happen for months on end. The one funny bit: we’re asked where the Huckster (Get it?) is and we cut to an empty arena, where he is still handcuffed to the ring, as he was to close Nitro. As usual, it’s just petty nonsense from the WWF, as they keep insulting Turner for daring to try to have something of his own and it went very badly for them for a good while.

Overall Rating: B. Yeah you can’t argue with a show like this, as you had two long matches, both of which went well. It helped set up Wrestlemania, but there is only so much on the card outside of Hart vs. Michaels. Piper vs. Goldust isn’t exactly working and there is a good chance it’s only going to get worse. The stuff that worked did so rather well though and that’s a great thing to see after some less than thrilling shows.

 

 

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World Class Championship Wrestling TV – August 13, 1988: Do It To It?

World Class Championship Wrestling
Date: August 13, 1988
Location: Sportatorium, Dallas, Texas
Commentator: Marc Lowrance

Eh why not one more World Class show. It’s fun to mix things up a bit and that’s what we’re doing here, even though the promotion is not exactly close to its peak and that means we could be seeing anything. I’ve had some fun with the show before, but at this point in its lifespan, that might be a stretch. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Lowance runs down the card.

Iceman Parsons vs. Jeff Raitz

Skandar Akbar is here with Parsons. The fans don’t buy Parsons’ offer of a handshake to start and Raitz turns him down as well. This goes on for over a minute before Raitz hits a weird looking running crossbody (Parsons was almost spinning as they landed). Parsons sends him into the corner and gets to dance a bit as we slow down. A snap suplex gives Parsons two as Lowrance reads a letter from a fan in Oklahoma regarding a recent fundraiser. Parsons’ clothesline gets two and the running hip attack finishes Raitz at 3:55.

Rating: C. More or less just a squash here with Parsons never feeling like he was in any trouble. Parsons is one of those rather odd stars who would not have been a big deal elsewhere but he was certainly a mainstay here. He’s certainly over the top and that’s enough to get him noticed every time he’s doing anything on this show.

Steve Simpson is ready to beat John Tatum in a strap match. Talking isn’t his strong suit.

Steve Simpson vs. John Tatum

Strap match (four corners variety) and Simpson’s brother Shaun is here to cancel out Jack Victory. They pull at the strap to start with Tatum going down so Steve can get in a few whips. Back up and Tatum manages a slam, only to get pulled off the middle rope. Steve hammers away and whips away even more, followed by some choking.

Tatum fights up but only gets one corner before being cut off. Another attempt gets three corners but Steve cuts him off. Then Tatum cuts off Steve before going after Shaun, allowing Victory to get in a cheap shot. Tatum gets three buckles but Steve gets in a low blow with the strap, allowing Steve to touch the four buckles for the win at 4:38.

Rating: C. That needed to be a strap match? I’m not sure I get the point of having that much going on as they could have done pretty much the same match with a rollup finish and no stipulation. It feels like a feud between people who can’t stand each other, but it’s quite the weird way to go with a stipulation that didn’t need to be there.

Post match Victory and Tatum tie Steve up with the strap and beat him down until Shaun makes the save with a chair.

Skandar Akbar and Iceman Parsons are ready to fight Kerry Von Erich. They’ll bring in Kamala to deal with anyone Kerry has with him.

Eric Embry issues an open challenge to anyone in the world to come take the Light Heavyweight Title from him. It doesn’t matter which promotion they work for, including this one, because he’ll defend it right here and right now. Cue Steve Casey (with a very 80s mustache) to say let’s do it right now.

Light Heavyweight Title: Stephen Casey vs. Eric Embry

Embry is defending and I would love to know the weight limits, as Embry is billed as 235lbs and I have no idea how he is supposed to be two pounds heavier than Casey, who is a bit bigger and in far better shape. Casey chases him out to the floor to start and then Embry bails to the floor again on his own. That’s fine with Casey, who gives chase and hammers away. Back in and Casey grabs a sleeper and Embry staggers around for a good while, with the referee not bothering to check the arm for far too long. Embry finally climbs the rope and drops back onto him for the pin to retain at 3:20.

Rating: C. Another pretty meh match with most of it being spent on Embry being sent outside and then a sleeper before the flat finish. Embry held the title for the better part of ever in the last few years of WCCW and I’m really not sure I get the appeal. He seems fine for a midcard heel but he got a heck of a lot of focus. On the other hand you have Casey, who looked good but that’s about it as far as anything in the ring.

Michael Hayes talks about a woman flirting with him but now people are looking at his new partner, Steve “Do It To It” (yes, Do It To It) Cox. Cue Cox, who is happy to take a walk on the wild side with Hayes around here. They’re ready to fight, with Hayes promising to take out the Samoan Swat Team tonight.

Samoan Swat Team vs. Steve Cox/Michael Hayes

Former Freebird Buddy Roberts is the Swan Team’s (Samu and Fatu, later known as the Headshrinkers, with Fatu being a rather young, and rather slim, Rikishi) manager. Hayes slugs away at Fatu to start before it’s quickly off to Cox vs. Samu. Cox cranks on the arm but Samu backs him into the corner, where Fatu gets hit in the chest by mistake. We settle back down to Cox working on Fatu’s arm before gabbing a sunset flip for two.

Samu makes the save so Hayes knocks him outside, with the fans going rather nuts. Fatu misses an elbow and gets armdragged into an armbar, with Hayes coming in to continue said cranking. Cox comes back in, leaving Hayes to lounge on the top rope, with Roberts losing his mind over the lack of the tags. Back up and Fatu misses a charge into the corner, allowing Cox to armbar him again. The good guys make another change without a tag, with Hayes shaking his head no when asked about the cheating.

We take a break and come back with Hayes in trouble as the Team gets to take turns hammering on him. Hayes gets over for the tag but Fatu trips Cox from the floor to cut off the comeback attempt. A powerslam gives Fatu two and we hit the neck crank. Hayes is drawn in so a low blow can keep Cox in trouble, setting up the nerve hold. That’s broken up and a double clothesline gives us a double knockdown. The big tag brings in Hayes to clean house, including a high crossbody, but Cox is thrown onto the referee. Hayes is thrown over the top and the match is thrown out at 14:08.

Rating: C+. Cox is one of the more infamous names from the dying days of the promotion as he had nothing that made him stand out in the slightest. He’s perfectly fine in the ring and that is about all there is to say with him. They put him with Hayes in the hopes of getting a rub and….yeah it just didn’t work. That was the situation here: the match itself was fine enough, but it was never beyond just ok.

Post match the beatdown is on but Hayes breaks up a top rope splash. The big brawl goes to the floor and they keep brawling to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Maybe it would be better if I had seen the buildup to this show, but as a part of a random sample, it wasn’t the most thrilling sit. The action was ok at best and the main event felt like it was more about getting Cox over as a big deal than having a good match. I wasn’t feeling this one and while the crowds still react, you can tell a lot of the magic is gone.

 

 

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Smackdown – December 7, 2007: On Badstreet

Smackdown
Date: December 7, 2007
Location: Civic Center, Florence, South, Carolina
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re almost up to Armageddon and the big story continues to be Edge joining forces with Vickie Guerrero, making them the top villains around here. Edge is set to face Batista and Undertaker in a triple threat at the pay per view and that should make for a heck of a show. The rest of the card could use some build as well though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the Vickie/Edge/Batista/Undertaker situation.

Opening sequence.

Here is Teddy Long, now the Assistant General Manager, to get things going with a State of Smackdown address. Teddy is happy to be back while Vickie Guerrero is out of action, which is why he made last week’s announcement. At Armageddon, it will be Edge and Undertaker challenging Batista for the World Title. Speaking of titles at the pay per view, MVP will be defending the United States Title against Rey Mysterio.

Cue Edge to interrupt and say that even a heart attack can’t stop Long. Edge reminds Long that he is the ASSISTANT General Manager, but Long says he is still the boss. After Edge talks to the camera to express his love to Vickie, Edge rants about how Long has screwed him out of the title over and over. Long logically explains all of his actions and gives Edge Kane tonight to shut him up.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Jesse/Festus

Non-title. The bell rings and Festus chases Morrison to the floor, leaving Jesse to hiptoss Miz. A high crossbody gives Jesse two but a neck snap across the top cuts him off. That’s broken up and the hot tag brings in Festus to clean house with reckless abandon. A faceplant and big boot drop Morrison so it’s back to Jesse. That’s fine with Morrison, who crotches Jesse on top and steals the fast win. Miz and Morrison keep racking up wins, but they’re rapidly running out of teams to beat.

Elijah Burke doesn’t like the idea of being the last person on Batista’s mind and is going to beat him tonight.

We recap Edge vs. Kane, which started back in July when Kane attacked him, leading to the big injury.

Batista vs. Elijah Burke

Non-title. Burke backs into the corner to start and then gets backed into the corner for a bonus. A running clothesline rocks Burke but he dropkicks the knee out to get a breather. Burke hits a chop block into a basement dropkick for two, with Batista getting annoyed. Batista spears him out of the air and hits the Batista Bomb for the pin.

Jamie Noble hits on Michelle McCool with offers of….Pepto Bismol? Noble rants about being a real man, unlike Chuck Palumbo and puts out an offer: if Noble beats Palumbo again, he gets a date with McCool. Deal.

Jamie Noble vs. Chuck Palumbo

If Noble wins, he gets a date with Michelle McCool. Palumbo takes him into the corner to start and hammers away but Noble kicks the knee out. An overhead belly to belly rocks Noble, but he gets a knee up in the corner. McCool gets up on the apron and takes off her jacket for a distraction. Palumbo is almost sent into McCool though and a rollup gives Noble the pin (and the date).

Cole has an idea for the date: curling up on the couch and…..watching the Triumph and Tragedy of World Class DVD! Works for me, but I might be the minority.

It’s time for the VIP Lounge with MVP talking about how he has world class everything, so of course he wants to talk about World Class Championship Wrestling. We see what looks like a trailer for the DVD and here it this week’s guest: Michael PS Hayes! Complete with Bad Street! Hayes isn’t interested in sitting down but is willing to talk about all of the deaths from the promotions. Hayes: “Six Von Erich brothers. Five are dead.” The point of the DVD is to say no to drugs and that is a great message (fair).

Hayes wants people to learn that but MVP says that Hayes is a survivor. MVP: “You look good for your age.” Hayes doesn’t like that and asks if MVP can tell time. Of course he can, so Hayes asks how it feels for your time to be running out soon. MVP asks about Hayes’ receding hairline and his expanding waistline but backs off from a fight. Hayes wants to try to stick with the DVD but MVP switches to the Hardys. Like that time when MVP crippled Matt Hardy.

Hayes says the Hardys are their own men and when Matt is back, MVP will have a serious problem. That sends Hayes into a rant about Rey Mysterio taking MVP out last week. MVP calls out Hayes for being the third wheel of the Freebirds and says they carried him. Hayes goes off about how MVP has no respect for the people who got here so he’s ready to beat MVP up. The beatdown is on with MVP laying him out with the Playmaker but Rey Mysterio makes the (very late) save. At least this was a different way to build up the title match.

Remember that Edge vs. Kane video? Here it is again.

Batista is ready for Edge and Undertaker, though he knows how hard of a fight it is going to be.

Raw Rebound.

Hornswoggle is playing in Deuce N Domino’s car and they don’t like it. The chase is on but Finlay comes in, allowing Hornswoggle to break the antenna. A match is implied.

Finlay vs. Deuce

Hornswoggle, Domino and Cherry are here too. Deuce actually hammers him down in the corner to start but Finlay grinds away on the mat to take over. A headlock takeover puts Deuce down again, with Cole referring to Finlay as Great Khali. Domino chases Hornswoggle around the ring, allowing Deuce to jump the distracted Finlay and take over. The neck crank goes on but Finlay slugs away….as Finlay sprays Cherry with a fire extinguisher. The distraction lets Finlay get in a Shillelagh shot for the pin.

Rating: C-. The big thing here is that Finlay needed to cheat to beat Deuce. When in the world would that make sense? Anyway, Finlay and Hornswoggle are slowly becoming a decent team together and that is more than I would have bet on what seems to be a glorified comedy act. The match was nothing to see, but Finlay is still good most of the time.

Post match here is Great Khali but the distraction lets Domino get in a cheap shot. Khali vice grips Finlay down.

Armageddon rundown.

Kane vs. Edge

Batista is on commentary. Before the match, Edge declares his love for Vickie Guerrero. Kane chokes him down to start as Batista doesn’t want to talk about the past. Edge’s arm is wrapped around the post and the rope before a right hand puts him down again. The double arm crank goes on but Edge fights up and hits an Edge-O-Matic. A spear knocks Kane off the apron and we take a break.

Back with Edge driving knees into the ribs but Kane fights up and hits the running clothesline in the corner. There’s the side slam but Edge breaks up the top rope clothesline. The regular spear is cut off with a big boot and now the top rope clothesline drops Edge again. Kane loads up the chokeslam but Edge drops him throat first over the top rope. That’s enough for Edge to bring in a chair (but doesn’t use it), which draws the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was just getting going when they went with the ending to keep both of them strong. That’s the better result, as both of them have a match at the pay per view. At least they got in some good stuff before they wrapped things up, which is all you can ask for in a situation like this one.

Post match Kane beats Edge down and loads up the steps but Edge sends him face first into them. The Conchairto is loaded up but Batista comes in for the save….and there’s the gong. Undertaker pops up to chokeslam Edge, earning himself a spear from Batista to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. There wasn’t much in the way of wrestling on this show, though the pay per view feuds got enough of a quick build to make the show sounds more interesting. While Armageddon isn’t entirely built around the triple threat, it is by far and away the biggest part of the show. Giving it a lot of attention here makes sense, but it would be nice for something else to get some significant time of its own.

 

 

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New Column: The Birds Are Back

After a lot of complaining we’ll talk about something fun for a change with a look at the Fabulous Freebirds.

The Birds Are Back




WCCW TV – December 28, 1982: The Match That Launched A Promotion

WCCW Television
Date: December 28, 1982
Location: Reunion Arena, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 18,000
Commentator: Bill Mercer

I think you might have heard of this one. This show was taped three days earlier on Christmas night 1982 at the annual Star Wars show with this match main eventing the card. Fritz Von Erich had this idea about Christmas: “Once you open the presents, what else is there to do all day?” It turns out he was absolutely right as he drew over ten thousand people there for years every Christmas. In this case, Ric Flair is in town to defend the NWA World Title against local superhero Kerry Von Erich inside a cage. Special referee: newcomer and Kerry’s new best friend Michael Hayes. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the first Kerry vs. Ric match in Reunion Arena in 2/3 falls. They split the first two falls but Kerry got disqualified in the third fall. However, since there was so much controversy with three different referees involved, it was decided that something had to be done in the rematch.

Kerry says he’s never been more excited or ready physically or mentally. You would never guess by his demeanor though.

Ric, with a deeper voice than usual, says the Von Erichs are in a do or die situation. Always remember: Diamonds are forever, and so is Ric Flair.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Kerry Von Erich

Flair is defending and this is inside a cage with Michael Hayes as the outside referee. Von Erich is mobbed on the way to the ring as fans are pulling him down to hug him. You can tell this is back in the day as Flair is still billed from Minneapolis. Before we get going, Hayes introduces fellow Freebird Terry Gordy as the keeper of the door. It’s a very short cage too with the top standing maybe seven feet off the mat. Hayes is in the cage during the match despite being billed as the second referee.

Kerry grabs a leg to start and they hit the mat with the champion in early trouble. Ric can’t hold a wristlock as Kerry comes back with a great looking dropkick to send him into the corner. As usual, Ric loses the strike off and some Texas sized right hands give us a Flair Flop. Back up and Ric slugs away against the ropes, only to have Hayes shove him away. They’ve made a big deal out of this being No DQ though so Hayes really didn’t have a right to do that.

Von Erich reverses a suplex into the sleeper (sleep hold here) but Ric counters with a belly to back. Kerry will have none of this being in trouble thing and hammers away before trying an early Claw. Ric goes after the hand to get a breather and Hayes yells at him for no apparent reason. Back up and Ric sends him into the corner before getting in another argument with Hayes. Michael is really just being a jerk here with no justification.

Flair gets caught in an abdominal stretch before Kerry sends him face first into the cage twice in a row. We get the rub the head across the steel spot and the champion is busted. Kerry is smart enough to stay on it and you can see the blood all over Ric’s hands. Ric finally gets smart and goes after the knee. Some shots in the corner look to set up the Figure Four but Kerry kicks him away with ease.

Kerry is smart enough to hammer on the cut even more but he misses the knee drop, damaging the knee even more. Now the Figure Four goes on in the middle(ish) of the ring and Kerry is at his best calling on the fans for support. Kerry finally turns it over and the hold is broken up. With a noticeable lack of selling, Kerry is right back up and working on Ric’s knee by wrapping it around the ropes.

Ric tries to climb out and almost loses his trunks. Hayes goes after the regular referee for breaking it up and tells the guys to go at it. The Claw goes on and Flair is in big trouble but gets his foot on the rope with Hayes actually calling for a break. Again, these people have a weird definition of NO DISQUALIFICATION.

Hayes has to physically break the hold and Gordy opens the door for no apparent reason. Ric chokes Kerry in the corner so Hayes pulls him off, only to get shoved away. Hayes lays Flair out with a right hand and even tries to throw Kerry on top for the title. Kerry won’t have it that way though (stupid Texas pride) and Michael is ticked. He goes to leave with Gordy as Kerry tries to reason with him.

Using the distraction, Flair knees Kerry in the back, sending him into Hayes and knocking Michael out of the cage. Gordy thinks Kerry shoved him and slams the cage door on Kerry’s head, setting off one of the hottest feuds in wrestling history and making World Class THE place to be for the next three years.

In a weird moment, Flair covers Kerry with Hayes counting to two before Kerry kicks out and rolls onto his stomach, only to have Hayes count the three as Flair is sitting up against the ropes. The regular referee waves it off as the Freebirds leave and Flair pounds away at Kerry’s head. Kerry can barely stand so Flair keeps hammering away. The tornado punch drops Flair but Kerry is so out of it that he crawls the wrong way, forcing the referee to stop the match and retain Flair’s title.

Rating: B-. The interesting thing is the match is only a bit above ok while the angle is one of the best of all time. This is more proof that the simpler an idea gets, oftentimes the better it becomes. Here you had two people who both wanted the same thing but saw different ways to get there with one of them being unacceptable. One of them didn’t like it and that meant it was time to fight. World Class got YEARS out of that one idea and everyone made a lot of money as a result. The match is completely secondary here but it was still good.

The Von Erichs run out and swear vengeance on the Freebirds to a BIG reaction. Oh yeah you knew it was going to be big. They help Kerry out of the ring and nearly bang their heads on the bar at the top of the head.

A lot of replays take us out.

Overall Rating: A-. This was about one thing and they accomplished that goal. I find it even more interesting that people seem to forget how the match ended as most people remember the cage door slamming and the match ending as a result. That goes to show you how important the angle is compared to the match as you really could swap almost anyone in for Flair and have the same match. I could have gone for a quicker ending as the last few minutes kind of drag things down but this was everything it needed to be and gave the fans and company the biggest Christmas gift imaginable.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestler of the Day – December 20: Fabulous Freebirds

Time for one of the most famous tag teams of all time: the Fabulous Freebirds.

Now of course you’ve heard of the Freebird Rule, which means any two members can represent the team at any time. Therefore, this is going to be a big mix of combinations in chronological order.

The Freebirds actually got started back in the very late 1970s. The team consisted of the leader Michael Hayes, the power Terry Gordy and the technical Buddy Roberts. We’ll start things off with the team’s greatest rival and the team they’re easily best remembered against. From the David Von Erich Memorial Parade of Champions.

Six Man Tag Titles: Freebirds vs. Von Erichs

Kevin, Mike and Fritz here. The Birds are the champions and the titles are represented by a big trophy instead of belts. Mike is one of the saddest stories you’ll ever hear: He wasn’t a good wrestler in the first place and then he was injured. The injury resulted in toxic shock syndrome, which resulted in brain damage. His dad, Fritz, made him get back in the ring anyway. He committed suicide later in the 80s.

This is anything goes. Fritz is in a dress shirt and jeans. Everything breaks down quickly and chairs are thrown in. The referee says anything goes but you have to tag. Ok then. Kevin is bleeding from the big brawl. Ok so it’s officially Buddy Roberts vs. Kevin to start. Kevin beats him down and it’s a brawl in less than 10 seconds with everyone coming in. Off to Mike who goes straight for the leg.

Mike is a very small man. Hayes comes in and stomps away as the fans HATE him. A middle rope splash misses and here’s old man Fritz. Everything breaks down again and Fritz whips Hayes’ back with a belt. Kevin vs. the monster known as Terry Gordy. Gordy starts his boxing and the fans are erupting more and more every second now. If the Von Erichs win, Kerry gets Fritz’s title since Fritz is retired. I’m glad they cleared that up.

Kevin tries the Iron Claw but Gordy fights it off at the five minute mark. Hayes comes in and the fans are louder in this match than they’ve been in the whole show so far. Hayes takes off his boot to get in some shots and it’s off to Roberts. In one of the oddest moves you’ll ever seen, Roberts thrusts his hips forward so his belt buckle hits Kevin in the head. Fritz comes in and everything breaks down. Claw to Hayes and to Roberts at the same time. Hayes is busted bad. Various people are rammed into each other until Kevin comes off the top with a cross body to pin Roberts for the title.

Rating: C. This was the first decent match of the entire show. Granted a lot of that was probably due to the crowd finally being interested. This was without a doubt the feud that defines the promotion so you knew they were going to have something going on here. Not a bad match, but the rematch in July won Match of the Year from Meltzer, so check that out instead since it had Kerry so Fritz didn’t look so out of place.

And the aforementioned rematch.

Six Man Tag Team Titles: Von Erichs vs. Freebirds

The titles are vacant and this is a Badstreet Match, meaning anything goes. The heat on Michael Hayes is just nuts but the Von Erichs are as over as free beer in a frat house. It’s Kerry, Kevin and the lowly Mike here. Mike tried but he just wasn’t very athletic and it caught up with him. The brawl is on while the announcer is still doing the intros and we’re told there are NO tags, instantly making this more awesome.

The Von Erichs clean house to start but the Freebirds are right back in to keep fighting. Kevin takes off his belt to hammer on Terry Gordy but Mike is thrown to the floor to give the Von Erichs a disadvantage. Terry is sent to the floor almost immediately after and Mike comes back in, only to hit Kerry by mistake. Gordy hits Mike low to put him down and this is going WAY too fast to keep up with.

Kevin has a boot off and is hitting any bird that he can find before a triple dropkick puts Terry outside again. He gets back in and nailed with the boot over and over again before Hayes is pulled back in over the top rope. Mike spends too much time beating up Buddy Roberts though and Hayes gets in a boot shot to the back of his head. Kevin slaps the Claw on Hayes but Gordy makes the save, only to get nailed with the boot some more.

Kevin is knocked to the floor as things slow down to just insane instead of unable to keep track of anything. Gordy rakes Kerry’s face as a cameraman goes down. Mike’s foot is caught in the ropes and Kevin is busted open. Terry hits Buddy with a boot by mistake and Mike sends Roberts to the floor. Everyone is back in again and with everything going nuts, Killer Khan comes in and blasts Kerry with something, giving Hayes the pin.

Rating: A-. Oh yeah I see why this is loved. They did not stop for nine minutes straight and just beat the tar out of each other the entire time. There’s no way you can have the Von Erichs lose a straight fight and this sets up the Von Erichs vs. Khan which is fine to keep things going. Great match, though I’m not sure on Match of the Year.

The team would head to the WWF in 1984 for a handful of matches before Andre yelled at them for being late, basically sending them back to Texas. Here they are in MSG on August 25, 1984.

Fabulous Freebirds vs. Butcher Vachon/Ron Shaw/Pete Doherty

Now here’s a rarity for you. This is 2/3 falls and to the best of my knowledge, this is the maybe five matches for the Freebirds (Michael Hayes, Buddy Roberts and Terry Gordy) in the WWF. The Birds are good guys here and it’s Hayes vs. Vachon to start things off. Feeling out process to start with Hayes avoiding a shot in the corner before it’s off to Shaw. Hayes puts on a headlock and kicks Shaw in the face for good measure. Off to Roberts who pounds away on Shaw for a bit as we seem to be in squash territory.

Gordy comes in for a one arm slam before it’s off to Doherty. Back to Roberts who chases Doherty into the corner for a tag to Vachon. A slam puts Butcher down and here’s Hayes again, only to have him miss an elbow drop. The unnamed team pounds on Hayes in the corner but Gordy comes in for a save. Michael slides through the legs and tags in Gordy for a cross body to pin Vachon for the first fall.

After a break we start the second fall with Gordy locking up with Vachon. A few slams put Butcher down and it’s off to Shaw again. This goes about as well as you would expect for a jobber against a team the company is trying to get over as Buddy snaps Ron’s neck over the top rope. Doherty comes in and starts some triple teaming on Buddy which goes nowhere so here’s Hayes again to pound away. Doherty misses a legdrop and everything breaks down. Gordy gets all fired up and Doherty is backdropped down. An elbow from Roberts gets the pin.

Rating: D. I’m getting tired of writing that but it’s another uninteresting match which just kept going. The Birds would be back to likely Texas soon after this as the WWF wanted to split them up. To be fair, a three man team was only going to be able to do so much in the WWF, so the Freebirds weren’t the best fit around here.

Back to Texas now with two thirds of the original team on WCCW TV on January 6, 1985.

Terry Gordy/Chick Donovan/Buddy Roberts vs. Mr. X/Skandor Akbar/The Missing Link

This is an odd occasion where the Freebirds are faces in this company which is like Ricky Steamboat as a heel. You just don’t see it that often. The second team is Devastation Inc., which was a top heel stable for a long time. This is elimination rules, tornado rules, and you can lose by pin, submission or being thrown over the top rope. It’s also loser leaves town.

The announcer is a very different style. His voice is fine as he apparently used to be a legit sports commentator in the Dallas area, but the way he speaks is odd. He goes over the ways you can win (being counted down for the 1-2-3, being ejected from the ring or giving in via a submission. It’s just kind of odd sounding but in a refreshing way). We’re part of the NWA here also.

Missing Link is RIPPED but he has a green face. Literally, along with black hair that looks like Bozo the Clown’s. The referee is in a WCCW t-shirt and red pants. Odd looking indeed. It’s a big brawl to start as it’ll likely be the whole time. Link almost goes out but manages to come back in. If I were his manager I’d suggest that he Try Force. That should work.

Link goes out but comes back in anyway. This is all over the place and rather hard to keep up with. Only one announce here too which is kind of weird. I told you it was like ECW. Ok apparently you can go through the ropes but not over them. Got it. X tries to get rid of Gordy forever but can’t manage to get him out. Why not autoban him? Donovan is fighting Akbar who is the leader, on the floor.

Never mind as they’re back in now. And never mind that again at Donovan is thrown out. He’s out of the company apparently. Oh wow ok this just got more interesting. X gets pinned by Roberts off a sunset flip but there goes Roberts, leaving us with Akbar/Link vs. Gordy.

Gordy gets Link tied up in the ropes and gets a spike of some kind into the neck of Akbar (A guy named Akbar at a show called Star Wars? Sounds like a trap to me) but Link saves. A few seconds of double teaming later, Link misses a charge to put out Akbar and is dumped out seconds later to end it. Well that was quick.

Rating: D+. It was very exciting but from a quality standpoint it was pretty bad. To be fair I have no idea on the backstory of this though so it’s kind of hard to know why all of this is going on. The match was certainly fun and the gimmicks didn’t overwhelm it. Having it go more than 8 minutes would have helped a lot though. Still not terrible but it could have been better.

The team headed to the AWA for a bit, including this match at SuperClash 1985.

AWA Tag Titles: Freebirds vs. Road Warriors

The Warriors are defending. This is Hayes/Gordy and they have their faces painted with the Confederate Flag. The champs clear the ring before the bell and are mad over because this is in Chicago. Hawk and Gordy start as Hayes walks around the field with people yelling at him. Hawk pounds on Terry so Terry heads off to bring in Hayes. Off to Animal as the Birds stall. Ok it’s Animal vs. Gordy.

The squashing continues with the Warriors taking their shots at Gordy. Michael comes back in again and gets pounded so much he crawls back to Gordy for a tag. Terry is like uh….not right now. Gordy finally wakes up and goes after the eyes before dodging a charging Hawk to send his shoulder into the post. Hayes comes back in and hits a side suplex for two. Piledriver by Gordy mostly works but Hawk doesn’t feel like selling that much.

Hayes goes up but Hawk slams him off the top but manages to tag before Hawk can. That’s kind of impressive. Gordy and Hawk collide but there’s the hot one to Animal. Hayes stays on the apron as Animal destroys Gordy, getting two off a powerslam. Everything breaks down and even Roberts and Ellering come in. Ellering gets dropped with a chair and Gordy accidentally pops Hayes. Powerslam to Hayes by Animal and a shoulder to Gordy looks to finish but Hayes comes off the middle rope with something around his hand to knock Animal out for the pin and the titles! The place is stunned.

Rating: D+. This one didn’t quite work either. The whole match was a mess and the ending was hard to follow due to everything going all nuts. The Warriors were still in the period where they would do nothing but run people over, which ran for about the next six or eight years. Bad match for the most part, but you know what’s coming.

And this one at WrestleRock 1986.

Road Warriors vs. Freebirds

Thank goodness this is the last match. This actually took place before the other tag two cage matches, but Verne had to go on last on the real card. The tape version makes him seem more humble at least. This is Hayes/Garvin. Hawk and Hayes get things going. Hayes immediately hits a piledriver which is of course no sold. Let the pain begin. Hayes goes into the cage a few times and he’s busted quickly.

Gorilla press to Hayes and Hawk drops a right hand. Garvin runs away from a tag so Hayes tries to climb out. Hawk goes up top as well and Michael is knocked to the floor. Garvin finally gets the tag and he’s tentative at best. Why no Animal yet? Oh there he is, for a TEN REP gorilla press. Now Hayes runs from the tag.

And never mind as he comes in a few seconds alter. Hayes gets in a few shots but Hawk runs him over quickly. He bites the cut on Hayes’ head because Hawk is a little nuts. Garvin comes in to pound on him and it’s back to Hayes for a figure four. Hawk easily breaks it and it’s back to Garvin, whose offense is shrugged off. Not hot tag to Animal and everything breaks down. Hayes pulls out some brass knuckles but he hits Garvin by mistake so Animal gets the easy pin.

Rating: D. According to the announcer that gives the Warriors revenge for something, but again it’s not important enough to tell us about. This was about as dominant of a match as you can see without it being a squash. The Birds never had a chance but they were against the Road Warriors so that shouldn’t be a shock. The Warriors left the AWA after this match.

It’s off to the NWA now as Jimmy Garvin will start taking over the role of Hayes’ partner with Gordy heading to Japan and Roberts retiring. However, they did have a few major matches together, including at the 1987 Great American Bash.

Freebirds vs. Paul Jones/Manny Fernandez/Ivan Koloff

The Birds are faces here which takes some getting used to. This is the original lineup too with Hayes, Gordy and Roberts. Hayes and Fernandez start us off and Fernandez looks like an idiot after that exchange. Roberts comes in and gets double teamed by a cheating Jones (normally a manager) and Koloff. Koloff comes in to beat on Roberts and its hard to believe he was WWF Champion at one point. Jones comes in and isnt very good. Heres Terry Gordy and this would be like Sheamus vs. Runjin Singh. Things break down and an elbow drop ends Jones quickly.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here that didnt mean much. Gordy was a monster though and ran through everybody at the end. He would team with Williams in 1992 in one of the most successful yet boring tag teams of the period. Anyway, nothing match and Paul Jones is one of the worst characters and managers of all time. This was from Atlanta as well.

Time to hit TV with Hayes and Garvin entering a tournament for the vacant NWA World Tag Team Titles. Here are the finals and semifinals at Clash of the Champions VII.

World Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: Dynamic Dudes vs. Freebirds

The Dudes are Johnny (John Laurinitis) and Shane (Shane Douglas), a couple of guys that ride skateboards. The Freebirds are Michael Hayes and Jimmy Garvin, the latter of whom is a replacement for Terry Gordy (in the corner tonight) who wanted to be a singles wrestler again. Garvin has been affiliated with the team for years but never officially joined them. Johnny and Shane beat Rip Morgan and Jack Victory in the first round while the Freebirds beat the Road Warriors. One more note: it’s roughly 100 degrees in the building as there are about 1000 people there and there was no air conditioning.

The Freebirds try to get in a cheap shot to start but walk into a pair of suplexes, sending them outside. Johnny and Michael get things going with Hayes quickly being taken down by an armdrag. Garvin comes in and gets the same treatment before the shorter Dude comes in for a wristlock of his own. A double elbow drop has Garvin in even more trouble Michael and Shane come back in with Hayes getting caught in a sunset flip for two. Back to Johnny who misses a cross body and crashes to the mat, allowing Jimmy to come back in and stomp away.

Johnny is sent to the floor and chopped by Hayes as the fans are all over the Freebirds. Back up and the two of them ram heads, allowing for the hot tag to Shane. Hayes breaks up another sunset flip attempt and everything breaks down. A double dropkick puts Hayes on the floor but the referee gets Johnny onto the apron. Shane rolls up Garvin for two but Michael slides back in and lays Shane out for the DDT, giving Jimmy the easy pin. This was the Dudes’ first loss.

Rating: C. Basic match here but there’s nothing wrong with that. The new Freebirds needed a win to establish themselves as a threat for later and the Dudes were far too new to be a threat. Surprisingly enough Gordy never interfered, despite being one of the most famous cheaters in wrestling.

World Tag Team Titles: Freebirds vs. Midnight Express

During the entrances, Dangerously comes out with a tennis racket and knocks Cornette silly. The Midnights take the racket and open the case, exposing a horseshoe and a chain inside. The Dynamic Dudes come out to carry Cornette to the back, leaving the Midnights at a 3-2 disadvantage. Hayes and Lane get things going with Stan scoring with some slams and armdrags, sending Hayes to the corner for a tag off to Garvin. Eaton comes in as well to drop an elbow on Garvin’s neck before bringing Lane back in for an enziguri.

A double back elbow gets two on Garvin and Jimmy is furious. The Freebirds have a meeting on the floor until Garvin comes back in for a knee to Eaton’s ribs. Bobby is thrown to the floor and Hayes pops him in the face with a right hand. Stan protects his partner from an even worse beating and get him a breather. Eaton makes it back onto the apron but gets knocked off onto the barricade to make things even worse.

Back inside and Garvin hooks a chinlock but Eaton fights up and sends him into the corner. Instead of trying to put up a fight, Eaton is smart enough to head right to the corner and tag in Lane who DDTs Hayes and tags Bobby back in far too soon. Everything breaks down and Lane dropkicks Hayes outside for a moment. Terry Gordy tries to interfere but gets knocked outside before Garvin takes the double flapjack for two. The referee is with Lane, allowing Gordy to come in and powerbomb Eaton, giving Garvin the pin and the titles.

Rating: C-. Not a terrible match here and the idea of the Midnights being off their game due to Cornette not being around made sense. This was quite the year for Hayes as he had a brief US Title reign after stealing the title from Lex Luger at WrestleWar. The Midnights weren’t having the best year but they would eventually round back into form.

Gordy would pop up for one more match at the 1989 Great American Bash.

WarGames: Freebirds/Samoan Swat Team vs. Road Warriors/Midnight Express/Steve Williams

In case you don’t know the rules: two guys start for five minutes and then we have a coin toss (the heels will win) and the winning team gets to send in another man for a two on one advantage. This lasts for two minutes until the losing team gets to tie it up at two. After two minutes the winning team goes up three to two. You alternate every two minutes until everyone is in there and when everyone is in there, it’s first submission wins it. No pins.

Eaton vs. Garvin starts us off. Williams is still in his Hogan attire here which makes me laugh. As JR puts it, it’s Beautiful vs. Gorgeous in WarGames which got a chuckle out of me. Garvin controls early but it’s not like it means anything. The Freebirds beat the Express in a tournament final to win the world tag titles so there’s your explanation for this part of the feud. This is more or less back and forth with nothing really to report on.

Dangerously, the Samoans’ manager, says that Hayes will be next about 10 times. Eaton controls for the most part and works on the back of the mullet-tastic Garvin before throwing on a Boston Crab. After Dangerously shouts about Hayes being in next, Terry Gordy comes in next. That’s another great example of a great heel manager. He didn’t accomplish anything but he lied BECAUSE HE COULD. So simple yet so effective.

Gordy comes in and it goes badly for Eaton to put it mildly. Garvin has a glove and tape or something or his hand so this is mainly punching and stomping. He eats a lot of cage too as Garvin is mostly fine. Apparently Eaton failed in his mission to hurt him. Williams comes in to even things up and in one of the most mind blowing spot I’ve ever seen, he picks up Gordy, who is probably 290 at the least, and gorilla presses him EIGHT times into the cage. Just insane.

After some more choking the heels get us back to about even for Samu to come in as Eaton is more or less dead. Double fishhook on him by Garvin which looked very painful. Everyone is in one ring and they need to spread it out a bit. Eacon somehow gets back up and holds the heels off a bit until Animal ties it up again. Again they’re all in the same ring and it’s WAY too crowded in there.

Ah there we go as he and Samu head to the other ring. Much better. They hate each other because of a big beatdown the Samoans gave the Road Warriors and then they beat up Ellering, the Road Warriors’ manager. The Warriors cost the Samoans a spot in the finals of the tag tournament, which brings us here. Animal just destroys everyone as Fatu will be in next.

All six in the same ring still and it’s just stupid. There’s (Rikishi) Fatu to make it 4-3. The Samoans beat down Animal as Williams and Gordy are in the other ring now to space things out a bit. Eaton and Garvin are still fighting and here comes Stan Lane to even it up at four apiece again. That leaves Hayes and Hawk as the last two. The Samoans eat metal as Lane cleans house.

Dangerously to Hayes: Ok so when you go in you go over here. Hayes: I GOTTA GO IN???” Dangerously: There’s no one left! Hayes: Dang. Funny stuff. There are 9 people in the match and 9 are in the same ring. Hayes DDTs everyone to take out the faces and then goes off into the other ring to taunt Hawk. The fans want Hawk with one minute left. Hayes drops Eaton with a hard left and here’s the bird man.

Now it’s first submission wins. Hawk cleans house as it is on in a big way. The faces are dominating here as was the custom in WarGames once everyone got in. Dangerously tries to force the phone through the cage and turns around to see a referee with his arms folded looking at him. I need some wawa music there.

Mainly just punching now with nothing of note as far as flow or anything but that’s a good thing here as there isn’t supposed to be anything remotely resembling order. Look at the first name of the match: WAR. Doomsday Device on Gordy is blocked so Hawk kills Garvin with a clothesline and works on his neck, throwing on a hangman (Hawk grabs Garvin for a reverse neckbreaker and lifts him onto his back in a neck crank/choke) which gets the submission to end it.

Rating: B+. Very solid battle in there which was exactly what this was supposed to be. It’s not a classic or one of the best ever but this was quite good for the point of blowing this feud completely off and have all the feuds in there at once. This was effective for what it was supposed to be and the match was as fun as ever. Good match.

Back to the regular tag team at Clash IX.

Freebirds vs. Road Warriors

Non-title. The Freebirds are still listed as World Tag Team Champions here, despite having lost the titles at a taped show a few days prior to this. Hawk and Hayes get things going and Michael runs from a big right hand. Animal throws him back inside so Hawk can kick him in the face.

The fans are all over the Freebirds here and it’s off to Animal vs. Garvin with Animal no selling Jimmy’s suplex. Hayes comes in and avoids a running shoulder block but it’s quickly back to Hawk to crank on the arm. Animal gets taken into the evil corner for some double teaming and Hawk doesn’t care for it. Everything breaks down and Hawk throws the referee down for the DQ.

Rating: D. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and the Freebirds were never really in control. The Road Warriors weren’t a good choice for opponents here as they were far too dominant to be threatened by the Freebirds. At least the fans reacted to the Warriors though and that’s the right idea for an opening match.

And again at Clash XI.

Southern Boys vs. Freebirds

The Southern Boys are Steve Armstrong and Tracy Smothers dressed like Confederate soldiers in their major show debut. The Freebirds jump them to start but get taken down by running forearms. Double clotheslines send the Freebirds to the floor and the fans are all fired up. Garvin and Smothers get things going with Tracy running into a knee in the corner. Hayes tries to interfere so the Southern Boys dropkick both Freebirds outside again.

Hayes comes in off the tag but gets in an argument with the fans before any action occurs. It’s off to Steve as well but Garvin gets the tag and scores with a backbreaker. Hayes cranks on an armbar before getting two off an elbow drop. A slam puts Armstrong down again but he gets up fast enough to slam Hayes off the top. Tracy and Jimmy come in off the tags as everything breaks down. Hayes takes Tracy’s head off with a clothesline but Steve comes off the top with a headbutt to Garvin’s back, giving Smothers the pin.

Rating: C-. The Southern Boys were a nice breath of air to the division as there was a big shift towards power teams around this time. They were both young and quick and a win over former World Tag Team Champions was going to make them look even better. The match didn’t have time to go anywhere but it was decent enough and the fans got into the ending.

The Birds would get a World Tag Team Title shot at WrestleWar 1991.

World Tag Titles: Doom vs. Fabulous Freebirds

There’s a somewhat famous story to this that I’ll get to after the match is over. Before the match, DDP, the Freebirds’ manager, brings out Big Daddy Dink to be their road manager, whatever that means. Simmons and Hayes get us going and Simmons hits a quick spinebuster for two. Hayes hits a left hand for the same. Both Birds take powerslams for two. Garvin and Reed come in with Reed clotheslining his head off.

Garvin hooks a sunset flip for two and it’s back to Hayes. Reed looks a bit uninterested in the match for some reason. Garvin makes a blind tag but doesn’t jump Reed while he’s busy for some reason. A double elbow takes Garvin down and it’s back to Simmons. Boring match so far. Jimmy gets sent to the floor and hammered out there before it’s back to Reed in the ring. This is heel vs. heel for the most part so the dynamic is a bit off. Powerslam gets two on Garvin but Dink gets on the apron. Reed loads up his fist but hits Simmons by mistake, giving Garvin the pin and the titles.

Rating: F+. This was a horribly boring match. The whole idea here was that Doom is still having issues and would be broken up very soon. The Birds would be the subject of the story that I mentioned earlier which I’ll get to in a minute. The match sucked though as it was basically a squash with a screwy ending.

Post match Reed destroys Simmons with the object. Teddy leaves with Reed.

So as for the story, the Birds had actually lost the titles before they won them. At a TV taping six days prior to this, they were taped losing the titles to the Steiners, as in nearly a week before they won the belts. That was a very different time, as whole PPVs would be spoiled at TV tapings. Can you imagine that happening today?

Here’s a US Tag Team Title match from SuperBrawl 1991, with a more detailed description of the -6 days title reign story.

US Tag Titles: Freebirds vs. Young Pistols

Ok now hold on because this one if about as confusing as possible. Actually this match isn’t but the story leading up to it is cool so I might as well go into it anyway. As for this match, the Steiners were the US champions but when they won the world tag titles from the Freebirds the US belts were stripped and put up in a tournament, which this is the final of. Ok, that’s very standard stuff.

The WEIRD part is how the Steiners got the world tag titles. The Freebirds won them on February 24, 1991 and lost them February 18, 1991. You read that correctly. See, back in the day WCW would tape MONTHS of shows in advance over about a three week period. Think of what TNA does now but on a much bigger scale.

Anyway, the Freebirds won the titles at a PPV called Wrestle War which we might get to later as there’s a great WarGames match on there, which is of course the greatest gimmick match of all time. Anyway, they won the belts on a Sunday, but the taping where they lost the belts (which no one had seen them win yet) took place on the Monday BEFORE the PPV where they won them.

I think you can see the problems that this could cause and it bit them in late 1993 when Sid was supposed to win the world title at Starrcade but at a show in England he legitimately stabbed Arn Anderson with a pair of scissors so obviously he was fired. WCW had about three or four months of tapes set up with him as world champion, so those were now worthless and they had to scrap the whole thing.

This is why in the mid to late 90s on syndicated shows like Worldwide or the Main Event, you never see guys with belts as the commentary could easily be redone. So yeah, the Freebirds lost a pair of titles almost a week before winning them. Their reign lasted -6 days, which is how it’s recorded in a lot of sources. Oh yeah there’s a match here.

The Young Pistols were a cowboy kind of tag team that did nothing at all. It was Tracy Smothers, who would become far more famous and I use that term very loosely, and Steve Armstrong, whose brother is Brian, or Road Dogg. The Freebirds were legendary heels in WCCW out of Dallas and revolutionized heel tag team wrestling. This pairing is nowhere near that as they’re both old and more or less worthless at this point.

The original trio of Buddy Roberts, Michael Hayes and Terry Gordy is gone and it’s now Hayes and Jimmy Garvin who by law had to have made at least 5 adult movies in the 70s looks like he does. Anyway, this is for the midcard tag titles. That’s saying a lot about the tag title scene. Not only was there a strong world tag title scene, but there was enough of one to warrant a midcard tag title. That’s saying a lot.

If nothing else the Freebirds have the greatest theme song ever with Badstreet USA. Oh and they’re part of a stable called the Diamond Mine, which is run by one Diamond Dallas Page. Oh and they have a manager named Big Daddy Dink, who you would know from the 80s as Oliver Humperdink. Ok most of you won’t but he existed. Page is just a manager here and is already in his mid to late 20s here so he started WAY late.

The Birds are supposed to be a rock band here and to their credit Hayes sings their theme song so there we are. The Pistols are from Wyoming of all places. My goodness this has to be a record for longest amount of writing just to set up a match. There’s the bell and it’s Armstrong and Hayes. I can’t tell the Pistols apart which is likely because I don’t want to. Uh oh Ross is using football analogies. This could be a long night.

Brad Armstrong, Steve’s other brother and the most talented of the three comes out to balance out Dink which makes sense at least. The referee throws Dink out so that’s good as Brad leaves also. Steve completely misses a clothesline but Hayes sells it anyway. Have to love that old school mentality and experience shining through there. The Pistols actually aren’t terrible. They’re not good but there are far worse teams.

Ah there we are with some nice cheating to get the advantage swung. Sometimes all it takes is pulling a rope down and the heels are very heelish. Tracy freaking DIVES for a tag which looked a lot funnier than it should have. In a bad looking spot, the Pistols both go for missile dropkicks. Armstrong misses completely and Smothers hits Garvin but Garvin doesn’t do anything and Smothers goes down.

The Pistols are all over the place but they’re not hitting a lot of stuff. Dusty says there are going to be new champions here. Gee Dusty you think? In a tournament final there will be new champions?

After a ref bump, a masked guy in what would be called a black chicken suit comes out and beats up the Pistols, hitting both with DDTs from the middle ropes which would be the same as they stand on the mat while he does them but whatever. That gets the Birds the titles. While it was never revealed on TV, the guy in the suit was Brad Armstrong.

Rating: B-. I liked it. It’s a very formula based match but that’s often times the best thing you could ask for and this is no exception. It’s basic heel vs. face stuff but it held my attention for ten minutes which is more than most modern tag matches do. This was fine, but some people would be bored with it I think.

Off to the infamously awful Great American Bash 1991 with the team joined by the masked Badstreet, who didn’t last long but was incredibly talented.

Young Pistols/Dustin Rhodes vs. Freebirds

The Pistols are Tracy Smothers and Steve Armstrong (later named the Southern Boys) while the Birds are Hayes/Garvin/Badstreet, who is Brad Armstrong (Steve’s real life brother) in a mask. The Birds are the US Tag and Six Man Tag Champions and this is elimination rules. Rhodes and Hayes get us going and I guess you can call them the captains. Hayes spends the first minute gyrating and strutting. Rhodes does the same thing which is funny but still time wasting.

They finally make contact with some chops followed by Dustin slamming both of the regular team members. The Birds chill on the floor and Hayes yells at the crowd a bit. To his credit it gets the crowd to start a short Freebirds Suck chant, which is one of the first of the night. Garvin hits Rhodes in the back so Hayes can take over. The Birds hit the Pistols so Dustin takes both Birds down, allowing the Pistols to hit top rope shoulders. The Freebirds go to the floor again as things pause for the third time in less than four minutes.

Off to Garvin vs. Smothers and the Birds take more time to pose. Tracy hits a dropkick but misses his second, giving Garvin control again. Off to Armstrong who slams his brother off the top, followed by a BIG top rope clothesline. Badstreet goes to the floor and things stall again. Hayes comes in and it’s back to Smothers who works on the arm. Badstreet messes with Tracy enough to bring him to the floor where Tracy runs into a clothesline from Big Daddy Dink, the Birds’ manager.

Smothers finally gets back up to the apron but Hayes drops him with a right hand. We finally get back in and Garvin pounds away on him a bit. Off to Badstreet who dances in and clotheslines Tracy down. Hayes comes back in with a sleeper, which might be the most appropriate move that he could do. Tracy finally breaks out of it and gets a bit of offense in, only to run into a GREAT left hand to put him down.

Back to Garvin who gets two off a snap mare and hooks a chinlock. The fans chant what sounds like Gordy as Badstreet comes in and hits a neckbreaker for two on Smothers. Back to Hayes for some chops in the corner and a BIG left to drop Tracy. Hayes may be annoying but he can throw a mean left. The DDT is blocked though and there’s the tag to Armstrong. Everything breaks down and Armstrong goes for Badstreet’s mask. That lets Hayes and Badstreet hit a double DDT to eliminate Steve.

Maybe five seconds later, Hayes backdrops Tracy over the top rope to eliminate him (Hayes) by DQ. Garvin tags Badstreet in to slam Tracy, followed by a top rope ax handle. Back to Garvin and here’s Dink on the apron. Due to the distraction the tag to Dustin is missed, so the Birds DDT Armstrong to eliminate him. Again maybe five seconds later, Dustin clotheslines Garvin’s head off to get it down to one on one. So it’s Rhodes vs. Badstreet with the masked man in control. Dustin comes back with the lariat but Dink distracts the referee again. And never mind as the bulldog gets the pin to give Rhodes’ team the win.

Rating: D. This was another match that was long and boring. When the best thing in the match is a few left hands from Michael Hayes, you can tell you don’t have much. Dustin was brand new at this point and he had nothing as a result. The match here wasn’t so much bad as it was boring, which at this point is the worst thing they could have done out there.

One more US Tag Team Title match at WrestleWar 1992.

US Tag Titles: Greg Valentine/Terry Taylor vs. Freebirds

It amazes me how far tag wrestling has fallen. There are midcard tag titles here. The Freebirds are faces here and for the life of me I don’t get what was seen in Valentine and Taylor as a team. There are two rings here which is always kind of strange but it’s still cool. The Freebirds both use the DDT here so they’re looking for the quick win. Fonzie from ECW is the referee here.

Taylor and Hayes start us off and the fans more or less hate Taylor. At least they’re smart. It’s just strange seeing the Freebirds as faces. Also Greg Valentine is a champion in 1992. What’s weird about this picture? A backhand chop is a judo chop according to Jim. For those of you unsure, the Freebirds are Jimmy Garvin (no one of note really) and Michael Hayes, who is currently the head writer for Smackdown.

ALL Freebirds so far but this is a long match so there’s plenty of time left. We’re about eight minutes in and the champions haven’t been on offense longer than maybe 20 seconds yet. I could watch Valentine fall on his face every day. It’s just perfectly done. The heels take over for a bit and I emphasize the bit part since Garvin takes over again to get us to even.

Hayes gets a hot tag and cleans house. The crowd is hot tonight which gives me a good feeling about the main event. Hayes gets hit in the back of the head with the Five Arm, Terry’s finisher but it only gets two. Fans are completely behind the Freebirds. Taylor gets a gutwrench powerbomb for two on Hayes which is a move I wish we saw more often. We’re nearly fifteen minutes in and Jesse says it’s too early to go for the figure four.

Valentine works on the arm which is just weird for him but whatever. This has been a good match so I can live with that. Another hot tag to Garvin and he cleans house. Everything goes insane and Garvin gets a DDT on Taylor for the pin and the titles. Solid opener and the crowd is happy so everything worked. The titles would be retired in July so it’s not like it means much.

Rating: B. Great opener here as the crowd was way into it and the title change works well to open a show. Starting a show with a good tag match is pretty much a universally good idea and this was no exception. I’m not a fan of any of these four but this was a very solid match and has me wanting to watch more of the show, which is exactly the point of an opener.

The NWA decided to vacate their World Tag Team Titles in 1992 for a tournament because they’re annoying and not that bright. The Freebirds had a first round match at Clash of the Champions XIX.

NWA World Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Silver Kings vs. Freebirds

The Silver Kings are Silver King and El Texano but they’re called #1 and #2 here. The Freebirds are the US Tag Team Champions, so of course they’re unseeded (just like the Silver Kings). Hayes reverses an Irish whip so #2 dropkicks #1 and Michael gets two off a slam. Garvin comes in and cranks on the wrist before it’s off to #2, sending Garvin running away.

#2 misses a missile dropkick and Garvin hammers away before getting two off a suplex. Hayes gets the tag and stomps away in the corner before strutting a lot. #1 comes in again as Jesse thinks this sounds like a Dr. Seuss book. A top rope elbow gets two for #1 and the Silver Kings clean house. Things settle down again and #2 hits a dropkick on Hayes and takes him down with a drop toehold.

Back to Garvin who grabs a chinlock for a few seconds before both guys get up and make tags. #1 comes back in and dropkicks Hayes in the ribs before #2 comes in with a missile dropkick for two. Hayes finally nails his big left hand and everything breaks down. The fans want the DDT but get a pair of bad dropkicks to send the Birds outside. The Kings use what would become the 619 to send the Freebirds running away before #2 dives on them both. Hayes accidentally punches Garvin but #1 misses a dive and hits #2. Michael slides in for a small package on #1 for the pin.

Rating: D-. This is a great example of two teams just completely clashing. There was no chemistry at all out there and both teams looked horrible. The Freebirds couldn’t keep up with the lucha libre team and the Silver Kings were very sloppy. I don’t know who thought this was a good match but it didn’t work at all.

And we’ll wrap it up with their second round match at Great American Bash 1992.

NWA Tag Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Fabulous Freebirds vs. Hiroshi Hase/Shinya Hashimoto

There’s a possibility this is out of order as I’ve found two different match orders in different places. This might be the third match on the card but I’m not sure. Either way it doesn’t make a ton of difference as the other match is up next anyway. Hashimoto is a huge guy who throws a lot of kicks. Hase is pretty good, whereas the Birds are just kind of there. Hayes and Hase get us going and it’s time to strut.

Hayes controls with a headscissors on the mat but Hase escapes with ease. Off to an armbar by Hayes and Garvin gets the tag. Hashimoto comes in and things slow down. This is a horribly bad contrast of styles here and I don’t really expect that much from it. They head to the mat and this isn’t going to be pretty. You can see the big problem with tournaments shining through here: there’s no story to any of these matches so they’re just wrestling matches which may be good and may be bad. That makes it hard to get into them almost every time.

Hase comes in for a few seconds before Hashimoto comes in for his famous kicks. Hayes comes in to pound away with “American right hands”, a JR trademarked term. Hayes hooks a quick armbar but Hashimoto hits him in the throat to escape. Hase hits a gutbuster and shouts a bit. Bach to Shinya for more kicks which is about all his offense consists of. A fallaway slam suplex gets two on Hayes.

Michael gets double teamed in the corner as the announcers talk about skunks. The Japanese guys get thrown together and won’t get out of the ring. Hayes punches them down and tags Garvin as everything breaks down. Hase hits a northern lights suplex on Garvin to advance.

Rating: D. This was bad and uninteresting. Hase was good but when you’re the only watchable guy in the whole match (yes I know Hashimoto is a legend), there’s only so much you can do. This was nothing at all and thankfully it was the shortest match of the show. The Japanese guys got loudly booed by the southern crowd of course.

The Freebirds may not have been the best in ring combination but they were masters at talking people into the seats. They were HATED in WCCW and were the perfect rivals for the Von Erichs. Hayes was an amazing talker and there really wasn’t a combination that didn’t work at least to a degree. Even the Garvin/Hayes combination won a bunch of titles, even though they aren’t as famous. The Freebirds are as influential of a team as you’ll find and they’re well worth looking up.

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Wrestler of the Day – March 29: Michael Hayes

Today we’re looking at one of the guys that belongs in the Hall of Fame: Michael Hayes.

Michael Hayes is of course most commonly known as part of a trio known as the Fabulous Freebirds. He was the unofficial leader of the team which was also comprised of Terry Gordy and Buddy Roberts. Their greatest feud, and one of the best feuds of all time, was against the Von Erichs.

The feud started when David Von Erich was challenging Ric Flair for the NWA World Title and Hayes tried to help David win. David didn’t want it like that and turned the help down, so Hayes slammed the cage door on David’s head, eventually giving Flair the win. The groups feuded for the better part of ten years, including this match at the David Von Erich Memorial Parade of Champions in 1984.

Six Man Tag Titles: Freebirds vs. Von Erichs

Kevin, Mike and Fritz here. The Birds are the champions and the titles are represented by a big trophy instead of belts. Mike is one of the saddest stories you’ll ever hear: He wasn’t a good wrestler in the first place and then he was injured. The injury resulted in toxic shock syndrome, which resulted in brain damage. His dad, Fritz, made him get back in the ring anyway. He committed suicide later in the 80s.

This is anything goes. Fritz is in a dress shirt and jeans. Everything breaks down quickly and chairs are thrown in. The referee says anything goes but you have to tag. Ok then. Kevin is bleeding from the big brawl. Ok so it’s officially Buddy Roberts vs. Kevin to start. Kevin beats him down and it’s a brawl in less than 10 seconds with everyone coming in. Off to Mike who goes straight for the leg.

Mike is a very small man. Hayes comes in and stomps away as the fans HATE him. A middle rope splash misses and here’s old man Fritz. Everything breaks down again and Fritz whips Hayes’ back with a belt. Kevin vs. the monster known as Terry Gordy. Gordy starts his boxing and the fans are erupting more and more every second now. If the Von Erichs win, Kerry gets Fritz’s title since Fritz is retired. I’m glad they cleared that up.

Kevin tries the Iron Claw but Gordy fights it off at the five minute mark. Hayes comes in and the fans are louder in this match than they’ve been in the whole show so far. Hayes takes off his boot to get in some shots and it’s off to Roberts. In one of the oddest moves you’ll ever seen, Roberts thrusts his hips forward so his belt buckle hits Kevin in the head. Fritz comes in and everything breaks down. Claw to Hayes and to Roberts at the same time. Hayes is busted bad. Various people are rammed into each other until Kevin comes off the top with a cross body to pin Roberts for the title.

Rating: C. This was the first decent match of the entire show. Granted a lot of that was probably due to the crowd finally being interested. This was without a doubt the feud that defines the promotion so you knew they were going to have something going on here. Not a bad match, but the rematch in July won Match of the Year from Meltzer, so check that out instead since it had Kerry so Fritz didn’t look so out of place.

Soon after this the Freebirds would move on to the WWF, where they had ONE match as a team. From August 25, 1984 in MSG.

Fabulous Freebirds vs. Butcher Vachon/Ron Shaw/Pete Doherty

Now here’s a rarity for you. This is 2/3 falls and to the best of my knowledge, this is the ONLY match for the Freebirds (Michael Hayes, Buddy Roberts and Terry Gordy) in the WWF. The Birds are good guys here and it’s Hayes vs. Vachon to start things off. Feeling out process to start with Hayes avoiding a shot in the corner before it’s off to Shaw. Hayes puts on a headlock and kicks Shaw in the face for good measure. Off to Roberts who pounds away on Shaw for a bit as we seem to be in squash territory.

Gordy comes in for a one arm slam before it’s off to Doherty. Back to Roberts who chases Doherty into the corner for a tag to Vachon. A slam puts Butcher down and here’s Hayes again, only to have him miss an elbow drop. The unnamed team pounds on Hayes in the corner but Gordy comes in for a save. Michael slides through the legs and tags in Gordy for a cross body to pin Vachon for the first fall.

After a break we start the second fall with Gordy locking up with Vachon. A few slams put Butcher down and it’s off to Shaw again. This goes about as well as you would expect for a jobber against a team the company is trying to get over as Buddy snaps Ron’s neck over the top rope. Doherty comes in and starts some triple teaming on Buddy which goes nowhere so here’s Hayes again to pound away. Doherty misses a legdrop and everything breaks down. Gordy gets all fired up and Doherty is backdropped down. An elbow from Roberts gets the pin.

Rating: D. I’m getting tired of writing that but it’s another uninteresting match which just kept going. The Birds would be back to likely Texas soon after this as the WWF wanted to split them up. To be fair, a three man team was only going to be able to do so much in the WWF, so the Freebirds weren’t the best fit around here.

It was soon off to the AWA for a big feud with the Road Warriors, including the Birds challenging them for the World Tag Team Titles at Superclash 1985.

AWA Tag Titles: Freebirds vs. Road Warriors

The Warriors are defending. This is Hayes/Gordy and they have their faces painted with the Confederate Flag. The champs clear the ring before the bell and are mad over because this is in Chicago. Hawk and Gordy start as Hayes walks around the field with people yelling at him. Hawk pounds on Terry so Terry heads off to bring in Hayes. Off to Animal as the Birds stall. Ok it’s Animal vs. Gordy.

The squashing continues with the Warriors taking their shots at Gordy. Michael comes back in again and gets pounded so much he crawls back to Gordy for a tag. Terry is like uh….not right now. Gordy finally wakes up and goes after the eyes before dodging a charging Hawk to send his shoulder into the post. Hayes comes back in and hits a side suplex for two. Piledriver by Gordy mostly works but Hawk doesn’t feel like selling that much.

Hayes goes up but Hawk slams him off the top but manages to tag before Hawk can. That’s kind of impressive. Gordy and Hawk collide but there’s the hot one to Animal. Hayes stays on the apron as Animal destroys Gordy, getting two off a powerslam. Everything breaks down and even Roberts and Ellering come in. Ellering gets dropped with a chair and Gordy accidentally pops Hayes. Powerslam to Hayes by Animal and a shoulder to Gordy looks to finish but Hayes comes off the middle rope with something around his hand to knock Animal out for the pin and the titles! The place is stunned.

Rating: D+. This one didn’t quite work either. The whole match was a mess and the ending was hard to follow due to everything going all nuts. The Warriors were still in the period where they would do nothing but run people over, which ran for about the next six or eight years. Bad match for the most part, but you know what’s coming.

Verne Gagne comes out and says hold on a minute. He reverses the decision and the Warriors get the titles back.

A rematch from WrestleRock 1986 but with no titles on the line.

Road Warriors vs. Freebirds

 

Thank goodness this is the last match. This actually took place before the other tag two cage matches, but Verne had to go on last on the real card. The tape version makes him seem more humble at least. This is Hayes/Garvin. Hawk and Hayes get things going. Hayes immediately hits a piledriver which is of course no sold. Let the pain begin. Hayes goes into the cage a few times and he’s busted quickly.

 

Gorilla press to Hayes and Hawk drops a right hand. Garvin runs away from a tag so Hayes tries to climb out. Hawk goes up top as well and Michael is knocked to the floor. Garvin finally gets the tag and he’s tentative at best. Why no Animal yet? Oh there he is, for a TEN REP gorilla press. Now Hayes runs from the tag.

 

And never mind as he comes in a few seconds alter. Hayes gets in a few shots but Hawk runs him over quickly. He bites the cut on Hayes’ head because Hawk is a little nuts. Garvin comes in to pound on him and it’s back to Hayes for a figure four. Hawk easily breaks it and it’s back to Garvin, whose offense is shrugged off. Not hot tag to Animal and everything breaks down. Hayes pulls out some brass knuckles but he hits Garvin by mistake so Animal gets the easy pin.

 

Rating: D. According to the announcer that gives the Warriors revenge for something, but again it’s not important enough to tell us about. This was about as dominant of a match as you can see without it being a squash. The Birds never had a chance but they were against the Road Warriors so that shouldn’t be a shock. The Warriors left the AWA after this match.

Around this time it was clear that the WWF was destroying every company in sight, so the rest of the organizations banded together to fight back. This resulted in a lot of super shows, such as SuperClash III, an AWA show with CWA and WCCW talent. Hayes teamed up with a guy named Steve Cox to challenge the Samoan Swat Team for the WCCW World Tag Team Titles.

WCCW Tag Titles: Samoan Swat Team vs. Michael Hayes/Steve Cox

The Samoans are Samu and Fatu with Buddy Roberts as the Freebirds are split up for awhile here. Cox is a no name and this is all WCCW. Cox and Hayes are the only team to beat the Samoans ever and they’ve traded the titles for the last few months. Cox’s nickname is Do It To It. The 80s were a weird time to say the least. The rows of empty seats are kind of funny.

Hayes and Fatu start us off and Marshall can’t tell them apart either. Oh ok he called him Fatu. That helps some. Cox and Hayes work on the arm and it’s so weird to see Hayes as a face. Fatu misses a cross body and it’s back to the arm. Off to Samu as Hayes plays cheerleader. Heel miscommunication sends Fatu to the floor. Cox goes after him and eats table, shifting the momentum.

Big brawl breaks out and Roberts is able to get in a shot to Cox before sending him back inside. Samu slams him face first and the beating continues. Fatu (Rikishi) comes in off the top and Cox plays Ricky Morton for awhile. There’s a hot shot to Cox but a double clothesline puts both guys down. Hot tag to Hayes and everything breaks down. Cox and Fatu go to the floor as Hayes gets the DDT. Roberts comes in and drills Hayes though and Samu steals the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. Pretty good tag match here but it’s the late 80s so did you expect anything else? The SST would never lose the titles but would just leave the company, heading to the NWA again. Cox is a total no name and Hayes would be back in the NWA soon after this also I believe. Not bad here and a nice little surprise.

We’ll actually look at a singles match now with Hayes challenging US Champion Lex Luger at Wrestlewar 1989.

US Title: Lex Luger vs. Michael Hayes

This would be like Cena vs. Miz two years ago. Hayes is the career tag team guy that says he can do it without help. Luger is the hottest thing in the world not named Sting. Both guys in blue here which is kind of a weird look. Hayes stalls a lot to open the match as he tries to frustrate Lex. Hayes was Luger’s partner for no apparent reason and then turned on him because he’s a natural heel.

Teddy Long is here again for no adequately explained reason. Hayes gets slapped and stalls again. He comes back in, gets slammed and hits the floor again. Five minutes gone and Hayes has stalled more than a broken down truck. Hiro Matsuda, a big time heel manager, is here too. Luger works on the arm to take away the DDT which makes sense.

The idea here is Hayes does basic stuff, it doesn’t work, Luger pounds on him for a bit, Hayes stalls and cheats then we start again. Ten minutes in and Hayes has a chinlock. Hayes gets in a nice left hand and a bulldog for two. Matsuda sends Luger into the railing as Luger is in trouble. Bulldog is blocked by Luger and the crowd pops big.

Luger goes nuts again with a bunch of slams and clotheslines. The Rack is reversed though and Hayes gets the DDT to shock the crowd. No cover though so we slug it out. They hit heads and the referee goes down. One of the Freebirds comes down and puts Hayes on Luger and shoves Luger’s foot off the ropes to allow Hayes to win the title as the crowd is SILENT. This was legitimately a shock, up there with Sheamus beating Cena for the title at TLC.

Rating: D+. The match sucked but the ending brings it up a good bit. This was far too long at over 16 minutes but it wasn’t completely worthless. Luger would get the title back in just over two weeks and hold it for about a year and a half so it’s not like this meant anything long term. Pretty weak match but the ending helped it a lot.

It was quickly back to the tag team ranks under the Freebirds name, though this time Hayes teamed up with Jimmy Garvin in the World Tag Team Title tournament. Here are the semi-finals from Clash of the Champions VII.

World Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: Dynamic Dudes vs. Freebirds

 

The Dudes are Johnny (John Laurinitis) and Shane (Shane Douglas), a couple of guys that ride skateboards. The Freebirds are Michael Hayes and Jimmy Garvin, the latter of whom is a replacement for Terry Gordy (in the corner tonight) who wanted to be a singles wrestler again. Garvin has been affiliated with the team for years but never officially joined them. Johnny and Shane beat Rip Morgan and Jack Victory in the first round while the Freebirds beat the Road Warriors. One more note: it’s roughly 100 degrees in the building as there are about 1000 people there and there was no air conditioning.

 

The Freebirds try to get in a cheap shot to start but walk into a pair of suplexes, sending them outside. Johnny and Michael get things going with Hayes quickly being taken down by an armdrag. Garvin comes in and gets the same treatment before the shorter Dude comes in for a wristlock of his own. A double elbow drop has Garvin in even more trouble Michael and Shane come back in with Hayes getting caught in a sunset flip for two. Back to Johnny who misses a cross body and crashes to the mat, allowing Jimmy to come back in and stomp away.

 

Johnny is sent to the floor and chopped by Hayes as the fans are all over the Freebirds. Back up and the two of them ram heads, allowing for the hot tag to Shane. Hayes breaks up another sunset flip attempt and everything breaks down. A double dropkick puts Hayes on the floor but the referee gets Johnny onto the apron. Shane rolls up Garvin for two but Michael slides back in and lays Shane out for the DDT, giving Jimmy the easy pin. This was the Dudes’ first loss.

 

Rating: C. Basic match here but there’s nothing wrong with that. The new Freebirds needed a win to establish themselves as a threat for later and the Dudes were far too new to be a threat. Surprisingly enough Gordy never interfered, despite being one of the most famous cheaters in wrestling.

And the finals from later in the night.

World Tag Team Titles: Freebirds vs. Midnight Express

 

During the entrances, Dangerously comes out with a tennis racket and knocks Cornette silly. The Midnights take the racket and open the case, exposing a horseshoe and a chain inside. The Dynamic Dudes come out to carry Cornette to the back, leaving the Midnights at a 3-2 disadvantage. Hayes and Lane get things going with Stan scoring with some slams and armdrags, sending Hayes to the corner for a tag off to Garvin. Eaton comes in as well to drop an elbow on Garvin’s neck before bringing Lane back in for an enziguri.

 

A double back elbow gets two on Garvin and Jimmy is furious. The Freebirds have a meeting on the floor until Garvin comes back in for a knee to Eaton’s ribs. Bobby is thrown to the floor and Hayes pops him in the face with a right hand. Stan protects his partner from an even worse beating and get him a breather. Eaton makes it back onto the apron but gets knocked off onto the barricade to make things even worse.

 

Back inside and Garvin hooks a chinlock but Eaton fights up and sends him into the corner. Instead of trying to put up a fight, Eaton is smart enough to head right to the corner and tag in Lane who DDTs Hayes and tags Bobby back in far too soon. Everything breaks down and Lane dropkicks Hayes outside for a moment. Terry Gordy tries to interfere but gets knocked outside before Garvin takes the double flapjack for two. The referee is with Lane, allowing Gordy to come in and powerbomb Eaton, giving Garvin the pin and the titles.

 

Rating: C-. Not a terrible match here and the idea of the Midnights being off their game due to Cornette not being around made sense. This was quite the year for Hayes as he had a brief US Title reign after stealing the title from Lex Luger at WrestleWar. The Midnights weren’t having the best year but they would eventually round back into form.

The Birds wouldn’t do much in 1990 but would be back in the title hunt by Wrestlewar 1991.

World Tag Titles: Doom vs. Fabulous Freebirds

There’s a somewhat famous story to this that I’ll get to after the match is over. Before the match, DDP, the Freebirds’ manager, brings out Big Daddy Dink to be their road manager, whatever that means. Simmons and Hayes get us going and Simmons hits a quick spinebuster for two. Hayes hits a left hand for the same. Both Birds take powerslams for two. Garvin and Reed come in with Reed clotheslining his head off.

Garvin hooks a sunset flip for two and it’s back to Hayes. Reed looks a bit uninterested in the match for some reason. Garvin makes a blind tag but doesn’t jump Reed while he’s busy for some reason. A double elbow takes Garvin down and it’s back to Simmons. Boring match so far. Jimmy gets sent to the floor and hammered out there before it’s back to Reed in the ring. This is heel vs. heel for the most part so the dynamic is a bit off. Powerslam gets two on Garvin but Dink gets on the apron. Reed loads up his fist but hits Simmons by mistake, giving Garvin the pin and the titles.

Rating: F+. This was a horribly boring match. The whole idea here was that Doom is still having issues and would be broken up very soon. The Birds would be the subject of the story that I mentioned earlier which I’ll get to in a minute. The match sucked though as it was basically a squash with a screwy ending.

Post match Reed destroys Simmons with the object. Teddy leaves with Reed.

So as for the story, the Birds had actually lost the titles before they won them. At a TV taping six days prior to this, they were taped losing the titles to the Steiners, as in nearly a week before they won the belts. That was a very different time, as whole PPVs would be spoiled at TV tapings. Can you imagine that happening today?

A year later and the Freebirds had turned face. They would challenge Greg Valentine/Terry Taylor for the US Tag Team Titles at Wrestlewar 1992.

US Tag Titles: Greg Valentine/Terry Taylor vs. Freebirds

It amazes me how far tag wrestling has fallen. There are midcard tag titles here. The Freebirds are faces here and for the life of me I don’t get what was seen in Valentine and Taylor as a team. There are two rings here which is always kind of strange but it’s still cool. The Freebirds both use the DDT here so they’re looking for the quick win. Fonzie from ECW is the referee here.

Taylor and Hayes start us off and the fans more or less hate Taylor. At least they’re smart. It’s just strange seeing the Freebirds as faces. Also Greg Valentine is a champion in 1992. What’s weird about this picture? A backhand chop is a judo chop according to Jim. For those of you unsure, the Freebirds are Jimmy Garvin (no one of note really) and Michael Hayes, who is currently the head writer for Smackdown.

ALL Freebirds so far but this is a long match so there’s plenty of time left. We’re about eight minutes in and the champions haven’t been on offense longer than maybe 20 seconds yet. I could watch Valentine fall on his face every day. It’s just perfectly done. The heels take over for a bit and I emphasize the bit part since Garvin takes over again to get us to even.

Hayes gets a hot tag and cleans house. The crowd is hot tonight which gives me a good feeling about the main event. Hayes gets hit in the back of the head with the Five Arm, Terry’s finisher but it only gets two. Fans are completely behind the Freebirds. Taylor gets a gutwrench powerbomb for two on Hayes which is a move I wish we saw more often. We’re nearly fifteen minutes in and Jesse says it’s too early to go for the figure four.

Valentine works on the arm which is just weird for him but whatever. This has been a good match so I can live with that. Another hot tag to Garvin and he cleans house. Everything goes insane and Garvin gets a DDT on Taylor for the pin and the titles. Solid opener and the crowd is happy so everything worked. The titles would be retired in July so it’s not like it means much.

Rating: B. Great opener here as the crowd was way into it and the title change works well to open a show. Starting a show with a good tag match is pretty much a universally good idea and this was no exception. I’m not a fan of any of these four but this was a very solid match and has me wanting to watch more of the show, which is exactly the point of an opener.

Hayes would soon become a manager and mostly retire. He would eventually become Doc Hendrix in the WWF before managing the Hardy Boys under his own name. Hayes would wrestle a few matches around this time, including a handicap match at Fully Loaded 1999.

Tag Titles: Acolytes vs. Hardys/Michael Hayes

Yep it’s a handicap match. At this point I had zero clue which was Matt and which was Jeff. We start in the aisle where they just leave the belts. Who would have thought two of these four would win world titles? I don’t think this has started yet. According to Ross it has. Ah there’s the bell so Ross was wrong.

We have Farrooq and Jeff in there to start while Bradshaw beats up both guys on the floor. Matt takes out everyone with a top rope moonsault. They really were great fliers back in the day. Hayes is pretty freaking worthless here but what did you really expect? The APA takes over with just power. Matt picks to tag Hayes. Why in the world would you do that? We get a Freebird reference so I’m good for the night. There’s Jeff. Crowd is DEAD for this.

I think Lita helped them a good bit to say the least. The Hardys simply aren’t that good at this point. Bradshaw gets a nice belly to back suplex off the top. Not bad. Jeff clocks him with Hayes’ cane over the head. Poetry in Motion is still very much a work in progress here. Hayes comes in and a double powerbomb gives the APA their titles back. Edge, Christian and a ladder would be coming soon.

Rating: D+. I didn’t like it at all. Hayes was just in the way here as he’s old and most of the people here don’t know what he used to be nor do they care more than likely. The Hardys would dump him maybe the next night. Either way, the APA would lose the belts to Kane and X-Pac two weeks later so this was just to get Hayes out of the Hardy picture.

Michael Hayes is a guy that wasn’t all that great in the ring, but man alive could he talk. I’ve heard of several wrestlers that got into wrestling because of Michael Hayes or were huge Hayes fans, including Raven. The guy is just ridiculously charismatic and can talk with the best of them. He was a much better talker than wrestler, but that’s the key to a lot of stars over the years.

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