Smackdown – March 3, 2005: There’s Time, But Not That Much Time

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 3, 2005
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re about a month away from Wrestlemania and things are starting to come into shape. The big story coming out of Monday affects Smackdown as well as Kurt Angle agreed to face Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania and left him a bloody mess. Tonight is going to be more about John Cena vs. JBL and that’s what matters more than anything else around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of JBL’s celebration last week with Big Show John Cena breaking it up and wrecking a bunch of stuff.

Here’s Cena for a chat and he gets straight to the point: he’s sick of everything being about JBL. Who throws a party for themselves? JBL was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and has always had stocks, but a few years ago, Cena was spending his money to sit right out there with the fans. He’s spent all day making a sign to hold up and then spent his money to buy a foam finger or an old school ice cream bars with Doink the Clown on the front.

Last week Cena broke up JBL’s party because he wants to fight and since real recognizes real, these people don’t care about what JBL can buy. They want to see a fight but JBL doesn’t want one. This week, the fighting champion is fighting Orlando Jordan. The sheer apathy from the crowd is jarring. Then JBL can throw another party for himself and get an award for being the biggest b**** in the WWE. It doesn’t matter how long JBL has held the title because it’s all about how many days he has left with the title. At Wrestlemania, Cena is getting the title and that’s that. Fired up promo here, as is often the case with Cena.

Tag Team Titles: Mark Jindrak/Luther Reigns vs. Rey Mysterio/Eddie Guerrero

Reigns and Jindrak, who got in a brawl last week, are challenging here. Reigns starts and slaps Jindrak’s hand, which isn’t a tag for no logical reason. Some left hands in the corner have Eddie in trouble so it’s off to Jindrak vs. Rey in a hurry. Jindrak and Reigns take turns choking Mysterio on the ropes, followed by Jindrak cranking on both of Rey’s arms at once. Rey gets in the sitout bulldog but Reigns is right there to elbow Rey in the back.

A dropkick to the knee gets Rey a breather but Jindrak gets in a knee from the apron for the save. As tends to be the case, the tag goes through a few seconds later and Eddie gets to clean house. The champs’ ten punches in the corner are broken up so Rey hurricanranas Jindrak over the top. Two Amigos hit Reigns and Rey adds the springboard seated senton. The frog splash retains the titles.

Rating: C-. Perfectly acceptable for a quick opener but that’s all it was going to be. There was no reason to believe that Jindrak and Reigns were going to win the titles here, due to a combination of their issues last week and even WWE isn’t desperate enough to make Jindrak and Reigns champions. Rey and Eddie are good champions and can hold the titles until a better option comes around.

This week, Jindrak drops Reigns with one punch. To be fair, that was a great left hand, even if Cole thinks a straight punch and a hook are the same thing.

The announcers talk about Angle vs. Michaels.

The women talk about Angle attacking Shawn on Raw. Dawn Marie comes up to yell at them and gets a mixed tag with Michelle McCool for later. Dawn: “You’re going to learn who runs this locker room.” I can appreciate the idea of giving them stories, but this is going to be a disaster.

Carlito comes in to see Theodore Long, who hands him a shovel for his first job. Carlito can shovel snow outside to make sure the parking lot is safe. Keep in mind that Carlito has an arm in a sling. Carlito: “That’s not cool!” Long: “You’re right. That’s COLD!”

Video on Steve Austin in Piper’s Pit at Wrestlemania.

Booker T. vs. Heidenreich

No Way Out rematch because WWE wants to run off its audience. Booker jumps him at the bell as it’s time for some revenge (remember that Heidenreich hit him with a chair at No Way Out). Heidenreich gets stomped and chopped in the corner, followed by the hook kick to the shoulder. A boot to the face keeps Heidenreich in trouble and it’s time to go to the floor for a change.

Booker gets posted and you can feel the energy going away as Heidenreich takes over. And we were supposed to buy him as a threat to Undertaker for how long? The arm goes around the post and we hit an armbar as Heidenreich goes psychological. Booker fights up and hits some kicks for the comeback but gets turned inside out with a clothesline. Heidenreich tries the chair again so Booker kicks it into his face. A DDT onto the chair disqualifies Booker.

Rating: D-. It wasn’t good, it wasn’t entertaining, it wasn’t interesting and it wasn’t anything positive. These two are terrible together as Heidenreich is somehow getting worse, to the point where someone as good as Booker can’t even do anything with him. Terrible waste of time here and there’s probably going to be a third.

A Few Good Men Wrestlemania trailer. Still one of the best of the bunch, if not the very best.

Here’s Angle to address the end of Raw. Angle is rather pleased with what he did and we see the rather bloody footage of him attacking Michaels. I mean, it’s in black and white which doesn’t exactly hide what happened, but it is kind of censored. Back in the arena, Angle can’t stop smiling. He thought it would be a fair fight at Wrestlemania but look at how beaten up Shawn is.

Angle was going to break Shawn’s ankle at the Rumble but security stopped him. Then Angle came to Raw and bloodied Shawn on his home turf. At Wrestlemania, it’s going to be an even worse beating when Angle proves that he is the best ever. As for tonight, let’s have a Kurt Angle Invitational. Someone comes out in a hoodie with his head covered but Angle doesn’t buy it. The hood comes off to reveal…..not Shawn. Angle: “I knew you weren’t Shawn Michaels!” The cameraman with the fake mustache though? That’s Shawn. The fight is on with Shawn beating up security until even more of them come out to break things up.

During the break, a calm Long had security escort Shawn out of the building, but there are no hard feelings.

Michelle McCool/Big Show vs. Dawn Marie/Rene Dupree

My goodness they managed to make it worse. Rene has a terribly black eye coming in. He’ll probably have it going out but he has it coming in too. The women start things off with Dawn shoving her down and then getting in a slap. Some standing on the hair ensues but just fires Michelle up for a crossbody. Michelle threatens her with the least intimidating right hand ever and gets kicked in the ribs. Dupree comes in for the French Tickler but a Show distraction lets Michelle get in a low blow. That means Show can come in for his own dance and it’s the chokeslam for the easy pin. This is a thing that happened.

Carlito pokes at the snow until a car splashes him with water. Cole: “HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A JACKET ON!”

Hulk Hogan Hall of Fame announcement.

Here’s a ticked off JBL for a chat. He wants to know why he deserved to have his celebration ruined last week. The common people around here need a hero like him and have no choice: he is their WWE Champion and they need to listen. They must respect him, especially John Cena, who has made a mockery of the US Title and himself. On the grandest stage of them all, JBL has to step into the ring with a piece of garbage like Cena. He goes on a rant about how his family can have the finest things in the world because they don’t have to be like Cena.

The people here have mamas who drink too much because their fathers leave. Now the people want to be like Cena and rhyme or put a ball in a hoop. They want him to provide them with a job but he can only have so many drivers, doormen and gardeners. The people are too stupid to recognize greatness and chant his name so he demands their respect. If he doesn’t receive the respect he deserves, he will walk out of this place right now. JBL does in fact leave and goes to the back, where he tells Orlando Jordan to win the title or be sent back to the hood.

This was an outstanding promo with JBL continuing to be a great talker throughout the last few months. He’s awesome at the comedy stuff but the serious promos were some outstanding ones as well. These things really did come off like he thought he was better than everyone else and that these people who supported Cena were beneath him. I wanted to see someone come out and shut him up, which is a pretty hard thing to pull off.

Chavo Guerrero comes in to see Rey and says that Eddie is waiting to turn on Rey. That seems to get inside Rey’s head.

Big Show and Joy Giovanni are in the back when Funaki comes up. He’s VERY excited because Akebono has challenged Big Show for Wrestlemania. Big Show doesn’t care what kind of a match it is because he’s in.

Raw Rebound.

Wrestlemania Recall: Jake Roberts and Alice Cooper at Wrestlemania III.

US Title: John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan

Cena is defending. A quick rollup gives Cena two but Jordan actually gets in a headlock takeover. Cena isn’t having that and plants Jordan for the Shuffle as we take a break. Back with Jordan fighting out of a chinlock but getting knocked right back down into the corner. Cena: “I HAVE UNTIL FIVE!” The chinlock goes on again but Jordan pokes him in the eye and gets two with his feet on the ropes. You don’t do that to Cena, who pounds down right hands in the corner (without using his left hand to make for a weird visual).

Jordan drops him face first onto the buckle for the break and some near falls. An elbow to the face gets two and Jordan grabs his own chinlock. This one is broken up with a belly to back suplex and they’re both down. The referee checks on Cena so Jordan grabs the chain, which is knocked out of his hands just as fast. Cena initiates the finishing sequence and hits the FU, but here are the Bashams, who left with JBL earlier. JBL is here as well as Cena beats up the Bashams and it’s a belt shot to give Jordan the pin and the title.

Rating: D. Jordan has absolutely nothing but that’s what makes him the right choice to take the title from Cena. There is no one on the roster who can realistically hang with Cena so having a loser steal the title from him was a good way to go. Jordan isn’t going to feel like a real champion so having him be the lame version of the Honky Tonk Man works as well as anything else. Throw in JBL stealing the title from Cena and it’s even better.

Cole is FURIOUS to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Wow that was bad. JBL’s promo and the Angle/Shawn segment were both good but they were never going to be able to overcome everything else. They kept hyping up that we’re a month from Wrestlemania and we’re watching Booker T. vs. Heidenreich and Michelle McCool’s debut match? They’re teasing Rey vs. Eddie but I need something more than Big Show vs. Akebono. I know they have a few more weeks, but they’re taking their sweet time with adding some of the big stuff. We’re officially at four matches and while there is still time, there isn’t that much time. Pick it up a lot.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Survivor Series Count-Up – 2009: Triple Threat Theater

Survivor Series 2009
Date: November 22, 2009
Location: Verizon Center, Washington, D.C.
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

By this point a lot of the top mainstays are firmly established on top of the company. Cena is the star that everyone knows him as now, Orton is becoming one of the top heels and Punk is rising up the card. Now that things have stopped shuffling, we can get down to some solid stories and matches. However, the midcard is about to be in a major state of flux. Let’s get to it.

We get clips from every Survivor Series for the opening video. The extended clips stop at 1990 though.

Team Miz vs. Team Morrison

The Miz, Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger

John Morrison, Matt Hardy, Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay

Miz and Morrison used to be partners but have since split and started a feud. Hardy and Benjamin would be gone from WWE in 2010, Finlay would become a trainer and only part time wrestler in the same year, and Morrison wouldn’t make it to 2012. Bourne (a high flier) would stay active but eventually be out over two years with a foot injury. Morrison is Intercontinental Champion.

On the other side you have four World Champions and Drew McIntyre (later known as Drew Galloway in TNA). Miz is US Champion here. McIntyre (a Scottish wrestler with a lot of potential) has only been around for about three months and Sheamus (an Irish brawler) has only been on Raw less than a month.

Bourne and Swagger get things going with Evan grabbing a quick rollup for two. Ziggler comes in for the Hennig neck snap and a modified belly to belly suplex for two. Back to Swagger who pounds on the back of Bourne and brings Dolph back in again, hooking a half crab on Evan. Bourne escapes and comes back with a hurricanrana out of the corner and a jumping knee to the face.

There’s the hot tag to Matt (BIG pop) and a double elbow to the back of Ziggler’s head by Evan and Matt. The Side Effect sets up Air Bourne (great looking shooting star press) for the elimination of Ziggler, but McIntyre comes in immediately and Future Shocks (double arm DDT) Bourne to tie it back up. Finlay charges in to fight McIntyre and hits that Regal Roll of his. Off to Sheamus and Striker goes oooo.

They stare each other down but a Miz distraction allows Sheamus to Brogue Kick Finlay down for the pin. Matt comes in to pound on Sheamus but he walks into a powerslam for two for the pale one. Off to Miz who drops a leg and puts on a reverse chinlock. The Reality Check (backbreaker into a neckbreaker) gets two and it’s off to a front facelock.

Hardy reverses but Swagger comes in and drops ax handles on his back to keep Matt in. Jack hooks a chinlock but Matt counters into a sleeper, from which he drops Swagger onto the back of his head in a kind of neckbreaker. Hot tag brings in Morrison to speed thing up. Morrison gets sent into the post but avoids the Vader Bomb. After taking out Miz, the Flying Chuck (Disaster kick) kills Jack for two as everything breaks down. The referee gets run over and once things calm down, Morrison hits a knee to Swagger’s chest and Starship Pain (twisting split legged moonsault) ties things up by eliminating Swagger.

Miz comes in and hits his running corner clothesline followed by a top rope double ax for two. Off to a quickly broken chinlock and it’s back to Shelton, now with gold hair in an idea that never did work. A Stinger Splash and a northern lights suplex gets two and Benjamin keeps knocking Miz away whenever Miz comes at him. A bridging German suplex gets two for Shelton as the original referee is being checked for a concussion. Sheamus breaks up a neckbreaker from Shelton and Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale to take out Benjamin.

Off to Matt vs. Drew as things slow down a bit. They send each other into opposite corners with Matt taking over via a neckbreaker and the yelling legdrop for two. Another neckbreaker puts McIntyre down but Matt goes up and misses a moonsault press. A second Future Shock (called a Kobashi DDT by Striker) gets a second elimination for Drew, leaving us with Morrison vs. Sheamus/Miz/McIntyre.

Morrison starts with McIntyre and pounds away in the corner as Striker quotes Jim Morrison lyrics. Drew sends him into the corner and it’s off to Sheamus for some double stomping. Miz comes back in for some trash talk followed by a slugout. Morrison takes over but it’s quickly off to Sheamus to run John over. Morrison kicks all three heels down but the Flying Chuck is caught by a Brogue Kick out of the air, followed by the High Cross (Razor’s Edge) for the final elimination.

Rating: C+. This was your typical Survivor Series match and hopefully it gives us the definitive ending to the feud between the captains. Morrison was the more athletically gifted guy but Miz would go on to much better things. I’m not sure if it was more his talent or the complete lack of expectations for him but Miz went miles ahead of Morrison soon after this. Sheamus would get the Raw World Title in less than a month.

Team Kofi talks strategy but Christian feels awkward among four people not like him. His partners are MVP, Kofi Kingston, R-Truth and Mark Henry. Christian says he’s the only one that’s….you know…..from ECW. The awkward responses ensue and Christian thinks they thought it was because he’s Canadian. Christian “raps” and mentions the race thing, drawing stares. Everyone eventually cracks up.

We recap Batista vs. Rey Mysterio. They had been tag partners but Rey got pinned a few times. At Bragging Rights, Batista snapped and turned heel on Rey in one of the best heel turns in years. I loved this turn because it’s so simple: Batista got tired of losing over and over and then, very calmly, he said he was going to rip Rey’s head off, and then he DID. Rey begged for mercy, but Batista kept beating on him and hurting him, turning him into a big, muscle headed bully, which is one of the best kinds.

Rey Mysterio vs. Batista

Rey takes the leg out quickly and tries the 619 but Batista bails. Rey follows and is immediately slammed against the apron and Big Dave takes over. Mysterio tries to fire off some kicks but Batista clotheslines his head off to stop Rey cold. The Batista Bomb is escaped as is a powerslam and Rey goes after the knee.

Rey kicks Batista into 619 position but Batista grabs the legs out of the air but can’t hit the Bomb yet. Mysterio sends him to the floor for a seated senton but Batista shrugs it off. Back in and Rey hits a pair of 619’s to the back and the ribs and a third to the face. Another springboard seated senton puts Batista down and Rey goes up for the Eddie Guerrero dance, only to dive onto knees. Batista kills Rey with a spear and there’s the spinebuster. The Batista Bomb kills Rey but Dave won’t cover. There’s another Bomb and a third so the referee stops the match.

Rating: C+. I liked this for the story it was telling and the match wasn’t all that important. This was cool to see as Batista let out some of his anger and didn’t have to get pinned by some stupid rollup or anything like that. Sometimes you need some violence and the destruction of someone instead of them being able to stand tall. Let the bad guy win once in awhile and let him look strong. Then when someone stands up to him and beats him, they’re a hero. For some reason, this never happens anymore.

Post match Batista brings in a chair and picks up a begging Rey. He hits a spinebuster onto the chair, but the key here is the look on his face. There is no emotion on it at all and it’s like he has to do this because it’s who he is. Awesome all around. Rey is taken out on a stretcher.

Orton doesn’t like his team. Punk doesn’t really want to hear it.

We recap Team Kofi vs. Team Orton. Orton was all evil and psycho so Kofi stood up to him. This resulted in what looked to be one of the best face pushes in a long time, as Kofi showed some AWESOME emotion and looking like a serious threat to take Orton down. He destroyed an Orton racecar and then got in a BIG brawl with Orton all over Madison Square Garden, capped off by a Boom Drop through a table.

Unfortunately, the beginning of this saw Kofi miss his cue and make Orton look stupid, so guess what happened to Kofi’s push at the end of this program. Since, you know, months of awesome promos and buildup and crowd reactions should be thrown away for the sake of a three second error that no one remembers. The package easily edits it out here, but hey, EVERYONE remembers EVERYTHING that happens on Raw right? That’s why everything is recapped: so EVERYONE that remember EVERYTHING can remember it even better.

Team Randy Orton vs. Team Kofi Kingston

Kofi Kingston, MVP, Mark Henry, R-Truth, Christian

Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, CM Punk, William Regal

Christian is ECW Champion and is feuding with Regal. Mark Henry and MVP are a team and feuding with Legacy (Rhodes and DiBiase. That’s DiBiase Jr. of course. He never did much but he had potential.). Orton is pleased that he gets to fight Kofi but Henry starts instead. Henry throws Randy into Orton’s corner where Henry beats up all four of them. There’s a bearhug as Striker says being a Rumble winner might help Orton with strategy here. What does a battle royal have to do with an elimination tag match? Anyway, Legacy helps their boss out and it’s an RKO to eliminate Henry in less than a minute.

MVP comes in and Team Orton all bails to the floor. After the quick huddle outside, here’s Orton again to face MVP but Rhodes makes a blind tag to stomp away on him. It’s quickly off to DiBiase then Regal then Punk to stomp away until Punk hooks a chinlock. MVP fights up and hits a suplex that looked like it lacked contact before bringing Truth in. Truth does his backflip into the splits but Rhodes’ distraction lets Punk hit the GTS to eliminate the rapper.

Christian comes in next to face Punk and they trade basic stuff to start. Punk gets in a knee to the ribs and it’s off to DiBiase for a middle rope elbow which gets two. Christian tries the Killswitch but walks into a powerslam instead. Dream Street (cobra clutch slam) and the Killswitch are both countered so Christian kicks DiBiase in the ribs and hits the spinning sunset flip out of the corner to make it 4-3.

Regal comes in immediately and gets all fired up but gets dropkicked down. There’s the tag to Kofi and things speed way up. Kofi fires off punches in the corner and but Regal fires off some punches to slow Kofi down. Off to Rhodes for more punches and kicks before Regal comes in again. MVP gets the tag and hits the Drive By (running boot to the head) to take Regal out and tie us up at three each (Kofi/MVP/Christian vs. Orton/Rhodes/Punk).

Cody comes in with a top rope cross body but MVP rolls through it for two. Rhodes gets caught in the good guy corner and it’s Canadian time as Christian pounds him into another corner. Tornado DDT is broken up and Christian is in trouble already. Cody wraps his legs around Christian as things slow down again. Off to Randy again who hits a gorgeous dropkick for two. Off to Rhodes who misses a knee drop so it’s back to MVP. It’s more basic punches and the Ballin Elbow for no cover. MVP has to knock Orton down and gets caught in Cross Rhodes to make it 3-2.

Kofi comes in and rolls up Cody for a VERY hot two count before it’s back to Christian. The Canadian works on the arm before it’s back to Kofi with a springboard shot to the arm as well. Christian and Kofi take turns on Cody until the Killswitch takes him out. This was simple yet effective. It’s down to Punk/Orton vs. Christian/Kofi which is a spiffy little tag match.

Orton comes in to face Christian and a right hand takes Captain Charisma down. Christian has to take Punk down off the apron but still manages to avoid the RKO and hit the Killswitch for two as Punk saves. Punk distracts Christian and it’s an RKO to make it 2-1. Kofi wants Orton but Randy tags out when he sees Kingston there. Punk and Kofi stare at each other a bit before slugging it out with Kofi taking over with some HARD forearms.

The GTS and Trouble in Paradise both miss and we’ve got a stalemate. Kofi hits a big dropkick and the SOS for two. Orton is walking around on the floor as Punk takes over. Off to a leg choke which shifts to a body vice with the legs as some time is killed. Kofi fights up but a splash hits Punk’s knees.

A falcon’s arrow gets two for CM but the bulldog out of the corner is countered with a belly to back suplex. Kofi goes up and after blocking a superplex twice, a top rope cross body gets a close two. An Orton distraction prevents the Boom Drop but Kofi reverses a rollup into the pin on Punk and immediately kicks Orton’s head off for the final pin and a BIG pop.

Rating: B. This took a bit more time than it needed but the ending was perfect. It made Kofi look like a STAR….and then he lost the next month to Orton and was back in the midcard immediately after, but this was AWESOME. The other eliminations didn’t mean much and this would have been better as a 4-4 match with about three less minutes, but great ending and I was totally into the Kofi push at this point.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Jericho’s team won at Bragging Rights and Big Show turned on Raw at the same show to get this spot. Undertaker is defending and he’s the only person I’ll call champion in this match even though Jericho and Big Show have the Smackdown Tag Team Titles here. The challengers pound Undertaker into the corner with Show headbutting the champion a bit for good measure.

Undertaker comes back with a clothesline to send Show to the floor and goes after him instead of fighting Jericho in the ring. Odd decision but Undertaker is an odd guy most of the time. Undertaker fires away punches on the floor but Jericho pops up from out of nowhere and takes out the champ’s legs. Undertaker is stuck in the timekeeper’s area so the challengers lift him out of it to throw him back inside to hammer away.

Jericho misses a charge and Undertaker pounds away on Show before clotheslining him down. Show heads to the floor and Jericho gets beaten up for awhile but the big bald guy pulls the champ to the floor. Undertaker is all cool with that though and posts Show before getting crotched when attempting Old School on Jericho. Chris superplexes him down but Undertaker gets the knees up to block the Lionsault. Jericho counters the counter and puts on the Walls, but Show breaks it up with a chokeslam.

A chokeslam to Undertaker is countered into a DDT and all three guys are down. Jericho tries to cover both guys but can only get two before being launched to the floor by Big Show. Undertaker wins a slugout with Big Show and they both grab chokeslam grips, but it’s Jericho with a belt shot to take Show down, possibly by mistake. Undertaker loads up the Last Ride on Jericho but another belt shot to the head knocks out the champion for a good two seconds.

Jericho mocks the Undertaker for some reason and tries a Tombstone. Since he isn’t Kane at the moment, Undertaker easily counters, only to have Big Show knock him out. Jericho saves the pin and tries a Codebreaker on Big Show, who is like boy please. A knock out punch puts Jericho down as Undertaker is getting back to his feet. Show calls for the chokeslam but Show pulls him down into the Hell’s Gate for the submission to retain.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches that went fine but you could have called most of the match the entire way through. Was there any doubt that Undertaker was going to keep the belt here and that the partners would turn on each other? That’s the problem with these kind of matches: they never take risks on the endings so it’s the same stuff over and over again.

The survivors of Team Miz (Miz, McIntyre and Sheamus) brag a bit and claim to be the future. Eh kind of.

Team Mickie James vs. Team Michelle McCool

Michelle McCool, Layla, Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall, Alicia Fox

Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Melina, Gail Kim, Eve Torres

Elimination rules. Michelle is Women’s Champion and Melina is Divas Champion. Layla and McCool are now an evil team called Laycool, Fox is a Diva with an attitude, Torres is a smart and polished woman and Gail is back from TNA but not doing much. Kelly and Layla get things going and it’s not pretty from the start. They are but the wrestling isn’t quite so smooth. Layla hits some dropkicks to the back but Kelly comes back with a legdrop to the back of the head to get the quick elimination.

Off to Gail vs. Michelle and it’s a quick Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) to eliminate Kim. Seriously it’s that fast. It’s time for Eve vs. Jillian with the singer taking over with a cartwheel splash. After some uninspired stuff, Eve pins Jillian with a top rope sunset flip and is immediately pinned herself after the Glam Slam. A second Glam Slam pins Kelly and it’s down to Mickie/Melina vs. Beth/Michelle/Alicia. Mickie comes in to fight Beth and after some forearms, a crucifix gets rid of Phoenix.

Alicia comes in next and things slow WAY down as Beth was the only girl in there that was going to be able to beat Mickie. A northern lights suplex with a GREAT bridge from Alicia (she could always do that so well) gets two but Mickie backflips up from the mat into a front chancery. It’s quickly broken up but it looked awesome. Mickie comes off the middle rope with a Thesz Press for the pin to make it 2-1.

Michelle comes in and stomps on Mickie before hooking a chinlock. Mickie comes back with a forearm to the face and both chicks are down. James can’t quite make the tag so Michelle slams her down for two. There’s the hot tag to Melina who goes nuts but gets no response. Michelle suplexes her down but she puts Melina over her shoulders and gets caught in a sunset flip for the final pin.

Rating: D-. This was worthless. As in there was no value to this whatsoever. The sex appeal is going down too as most of the girls are more covered up than they were in the previous years, and when you have bad wrestling with a lack of sex appeal, the Divas matches go way down in value. The crowd didn’t care at all here either.

Batista liked hurting Rey.

No recap video for the main event, but there’s no need for one. It’s the same story as the other World Title match minus the Bragging Rights parts.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena

Cena is defending of course. The bell rings and Shawn superkicks HHH to the floor for a big surprise. Cena’s reaction is great as he never saw that coming and I don’t think most people did either. The replay screws it up by showing a good three inches between Shawn’s boot and HHH’s face, but that’s normal anymore. Cena tries a fast clothesline on Shawn but gets caught in a neckbreaker instead.

John comes back with a release fisherman’s suplex but Shawn chops away in the corner. Shawn gets kicked onto the top rope where Cena tries the AA but Shawn counters into something that most resembled a DDT for two. Shawn goes for the knee and the fans think Cena sucks. There’s a Figure Four on Cena but John turns it over to escape.

Back to their feet we go and Cena’s leg seems perfectly fine. He hits a pair of shoulder blocks but a third misses and he falls to the floor. Shawn loads up the announce table as HHH is still out cold apparently. Cena pops up to try an AA through the table but HHH saves, only to hit a big spinebuster to send Shawn through the table. Back inside we have HHH pounding away on Cena as Striker won’t stop talking. He goes on about how HHH is the ace of spades and all kinds of other terms that either go over most peoples’ heads or make little sense because he thinks he’s smarter than everyone else watching.

HHH hits a neckbreaker for two on Cena but a Pedigree attempt is countered into a slingshot into the corner. They slug it out with Cena taking over and hitting a shoulder to take over. There’s the ProtoBomb but Shawn sends him into the post to break up the Shuffle. It’s time for DX to explode and Shawn takes over early with an atomic drop followed by some chops. HHH comes back with a knee to the face but Shawn hits the forearms and nips up.

It doesn’t do much good though as he is immediately caught in the spinebuster, but like Cena he escapes the Pedigree. Shawn goes up but gets crotched by Cena who goes up as well, only to miss the top rope Fameasser. Shawn hits the top rope elbow on Cena but HHH sends Shawn to the floor. There’s the STF on HHH as Cena doesn’t seem interested in selling at all in this match. As HHH is about to tap, Shawn comes in and hooks the Crossface on Cena to break the hold.

Cena pulls up from that into an AA attempt but Michaels slips down the back, only to get caught in the STF. Shawn FINALLY gets the rope and pops up to superkick Cena. HHH charges in and takes another superkick, only to fall on Cena for a VERY close two. Cena hits an AA on HHH as Shawn gets back in after falling out after the two kicks. They both crawl for the cover and both get a two at the same time. All three guys try finishers on each other (including a piledriver attempt from Shawn) before Shawn superkicks HHH again but gets AA’d onto HHH for the pin to retain Cena’s title.

Rating: B. Good solid match here and WAY better than the previous one. Cena’s selling here was really surprising though as he’s not one to pull something like that. Other than that the finishers being used so often got a bit annoying, but the match felt like a big battle where anyone could have won, which couldn’t really be said about Show vs. Jericho vs. Undertaker. Good stuff here.

Cena signs some autographs for National Guard members to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a pretty good show but overall, it’s kind of underwhelming. The show mostly felt like it came and went and if the show happened that’s fine but if it didn’t exist that would be fine too. The triple threats didn’t work either although the main event was definitely a solid match. No need to see this, although it was good show if that makes sense.

Ratings Comparison

Team Miz vs. Team Morrison

Original: B

Redo: C+

Batista vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Team Kingston vs. Team Orton

Original: B+

Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Team Mickie James vs. Team Michelle McCool

Original: D

Redo: D-

John Cena vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: C+

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B-

That’s probably about as close as this is going to get.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/18/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2009-the-pg-powers-explode/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Went To Axxess

And it was an absolute disaster.

Let me put it this way: we left over an hour early because it was so boring and we were so sick of being there. Never in my life have I seen such a disaster in one place and it can be summed up in a few major issues.

1. TOO MANY PEOPLE. This was the most packed Axxess session of the week and a lot of that is due to them cutting it down to three sessions on Saturday to make room for an hour in between. If that’s the case, they need to add the fourth back immediately as there were too many people in this mess to possibly have any real fun.

2. Find a better way to organize it. The problem here is there’s no way of knowing who is where because the only schedule you get is on the WWE about three minutes before the session starts. The lineups change (more on that in a second) at the halfway point, or at 4pm in our case. The new schedule was unveiled at 3:57pm. How in the world is that the best they can do?

3. Bad lineup. Here’s the list of people advertised for the four hour session:

Sheamus

Sasha Banks

Dolph Ziggler

AJ Styles

Jim Duggan

Kane

Cesaro

Jake Roberts

Michelle McCool

There were a few other names, including Ted DiBiase inside the Elimination Chamber. Now here’s the list of people who were actually in the second half.

Ascension

Becky Lynch

Summer Rae

Sgt. Slaughter

Cody Rhodes

Mandy

Tyler Breeze

Cesaro

Darren Young (inside the Chamber replacing DiBiase)

King Barrett

David Otunga (replacing AJ Styles)

Jim Duggan

Look at that second list and tell me who you would stand in line for two hours to see. Cesaro maybe? Perhaps King Barrett? There were actually people who were walking out of lines when they found out about the switch because, simply put, would you stand in line to meet David Otunga?

What this show needed was some groups of wrestlers to meet. Like say the League of Nations (Or at least three of them as Alberto Del Rio was a VIP guest. New Day and Edge are regular guests tomorrow, but ALBERTO DEL RIO is a VIP guest?) or the Social Outcasts or three or four NXT stars (yes stars, as the NXT people we had were Mandy (hasn’t debuted yet), Peyton Royce and Billie Kaye. Yeah there was an NXT show going on (which you couldn’t get near unless you were there at the beginning) and apparently wrestling a few minutes kept you from being able to sign autographs.

The whole thing felt like a job we had to get through instead of something we got to do. I get the idea that you need to make as much money as you can, but I have a major issue with what you’re getting at an event like this. I shouldn’t only be able to meet one person in that span of time. There is no way that should happen and it’s really not acceptable.

Like I said, put a group of people at the end of a line or something like that or have some better names (I’m sorry but I don’t care to sit around waiting to meet Michelle McCool, Darren Young or Candace Michelle.) available. WWE has an army of talent and that’s really the best they can get out there?

Two years ago the legends booth was the Wild Samoans/Lanny Poffo and then Ricky Steamboat/Paul Orndorff. This year I believe one booth (the NXT booth) had more than one person as a guest. Yeah these people might be at multiple sessions but so what? Oh no: they have to sit there and sign autographs for more than two hours at a time. I think they’ll survive.

Now that all being said, there were a few fun moments.

I met Jake Roberts. Uh yeah that’s about it for that. He was very quiet and seemed to want to move the line along quickly. Not rude or anything but really quick.

Linda McMahon of all people was walking around and I got a quick handshake, even though she really seemed to want to get out of there.

I got a hello from Dolph Ziggler as he was on his way to his booth.

There was a cool memorabilia section with all of the statues (Andre, Dusty Rhodes, Bruno Sammartino and Ultimate Warrior) and A LOT of stuff from the Hall of Fame class. Other than that there was some random stuff like a Goldust bodysuit, the Ultimate Warrior’s ring gear from the 1991 Royal Rumble, the Million Dollar Title, an Undertaker costume and Seth Rollins’ white outfit from last year. There was also a collection of really cool posters from each Wrestlemania, along with Brock’s ring gear from the Undertaker match, Eddie’s boots from 2005, Harley Race’s robe from Wrestlemania III and the tights Edge wore at Wrestlemania XVII, along with a bunch of other stuff.

Overall though, this was a VERY bad event because of how much they tried to cram in there without having the first thought of how to organize it. The biggest problem though was probably the lineup. At the end of the day, I need some better options than what I was given and I really shouldn’t have Cesaro and King Barrett as my top choices to wait an hour and a half to see. Just a disorganized mess that felt like a major cash grab instead of anything worth seeing.

Pictures of all the memorabilia and some cool stuff coming later.

John Cena’s “Gimmick Infringement” of Steve Austin

Are we really this bored these days?

So let me get this straight: Cena started using a springboard Stunner (allegedly due to Austin filming Broken Skull Challenge instead of Tough Enough and Vince being a vindictive old man that was annoyed at Austin for having a career outside of WWE, though that’s still pretty much speculation) and the response is that it’s gimmick infringement. I for one certainly agree.

It’s the same as Randy Orton and Diamond Dallas Page, Dean Ambrose and Mick Foley, Fandango and John Cena (who cares which way the guy is facing? It’s still a top rope legdrop) and the probably dozen guys who have used a superkick over the years and Shawn Michaels. I mean, Tyler Breeze and Alberto Del Rio are clearly ripping off Shawn Michaels.

Calling this gimmick infringement shows that wrestling fans continue to type before they think for ten seconds, as for one thing it’s not gimmick infringement but move somewhat, kind of, almost, maybe, sort of move borrowing. On the other hand, it’s not even the same move. The moves are the same as the RKO and Diamond Cutter or Drew McIntyre’s Future Shock and Jake Roberts’ DDT. If you want to talk about gimmick infringement, talk about Orton being named after a snake and posing with two arms in the air on the ropes a few years back.

This is a non-story but for some reason people are bored and trying to make it into a thing because they’re not thinking, as is so often the case. It’s on par with the dust up of Michelle McCool using the Styles Clash a few years ago when TNA fans complained about it and then McCool said something along the lines of “Uh, it’s not a big deal” and that was the end of it. This isn’t a big deal and the fact that it was talked about so much makes my head hurt.

Wrestler of the Day – November 23: Maryse

Today we’re looking at someone a bit curvier in Maryse.

After a few years in developmental, Maryse debuted on the main roster in 2008. Here she is at Unforgiven.

Divas Title: Maryse vs. Michelle McCool

Michelle is champion. Michelle as a face just never worked. She’s such a natural villain and her pumping her fist doesn’t work at all. She hurts her knee going to the floor and Maryse works on it as we’re waiting for the people to get back from popcorn time to end this. Michelle works on Maryse’s leg in a heel hook but she gets a rope. The fans are all over this match already. A sitout gordbuster keeps the title on McCool.

Rating: D-. Michelle and Maryse are too hot to be a failure but the match was terrible. NO ONE cared and that was very clear. Nothing to see here and we’re moving on. Why this got almost six minutes was crazy but I’d assume that it was due to a long line at the Cena shirt booths. Horrible match.

Time for a TV match on Smackdown, September 19, 2008.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Maryse

Michelle is defending here and is still just the perky blonde. The title is brand new here too. Michelle takes her down to the mat with a front facelock but Maryse takes over with a headlock. McCool speeds things up and frustrates Maryse who can’t keep up with the champ. Maryse heads to the floor but she trips Michelle up and takes over.

A slingshot dropkick puts Michelle down and Maryse pounds away, only to get rolled up for two. Maryse cranks on a chinlock but McCool uses her height to get back out. Things speed up and a running flipping neckbreaker gets two for the champ. Maryse misses a charge into the corner and McCool hits Christopher Daniels’ Angel’s Wings to retain.

Rating: C-. It’s absolutely amazing how much more interesting a match like this is than the Divas of today. The main difference is that the girls here are athletes who use their athletic abilities in a wrestling ring. Today, we have girls who are mostly models who get some bare bones wrestling training but they look good in shorts. McCool, a chick who had only been wrestling full time for a few years at this point, looked more comfortable than Kelly EVER looked in her entire career. That’s a big reason why the Divas just stopped being interesting at all.

Off to Armageddon 2008 for the main thing the Divas are known for.

Maria/Mickie James/Kelly Kelly/Michelle McCool vs. Maryse/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Natalya

Santa’s Little Helper’s match here. The heels are in green and are elves I guess. Maria’s song is really catchy. I miss Michelle. Mickie vs. Maryse starts us off. Mickie keeps going after her and Maryse tries to pose. Off to Mickie vs. Natalya in the real fight here. Nattie is pretty new at this point. Kelly is Jewish and Striker calls her the Hot Hebrew. That sounds like a really bad coffee shop. The announcers are having a fun time with this. The match is totally pointless of course and it’s off to Maria. Somehow she gets compared to John Berzerker Nord. Everything breaks down and Michelle hits the Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) to end Maryse.

Rating: C+. Don’t bother trying to figure out if the rating is good because it isn’t, but there was a weird energy for this one and I had fun with it. Also Michelle in shorts and Maria with her energetic perkiness are never bad things. The girls looks hot and everyone was having fun in a nice breath of air before the main events. What more can you ask for?

We’ll jump ahead a bit to Night of Champions 2009.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Michelle McCool vs. Melina

This is a rematch from The Bash which was brought on by some bad acting. Michelle’s bra is sticking WAY out here. Melina gyrates like no one I’ve ever seen. Michelle is the first person to use her freaking brain and kicks Melina on her splits intro. And there’s your first botch as they mess up an arm drag. We get some kicks that don’t actually connect as I have a bad feeling about this match.

We hit the floor and are told that a slam of the face into the barricade is a DDT. Riiiiiiiight. Melina is laying on the apron and in a coole counter she pulls up onto the bottom rope to avoid a baseball slide. They’re hitting hard but at the same time, they’re botching the hell out of so many things. Michelle reverses a rollup into a rollup for the pin. At least it was short.

Rating: D. They were trying but this was just a mess and a half. They were botching stuff left and right with there being little flow or psychology at all. Michelle has gotten better which to be fair she couldn’t have gotten much worse. This was really bad as the two of them just do not have the chemistry.

Divas Title: Maryse vs. Gail Kim

Gail Kim is incorrectly called a two time Womens’ Champion. Gail slides to the corner to avoid a charge from the blonde and gets two off a bulldog. Maryse comes back with a kick to the face for two of her own but gets rolled up for another near fall. Kim goes up top but completely misses a top rope cross body to put both girls down. A victory roll doesn’t work for Gail and a quick DDT gives Maryse the title. This was nothing.

She even made it onto Wrestlemania XXVI.

Laycool/Vickie Guerrero/Maryse/Alicia Fox vs. Beth Phoenix/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Mickie James/Gail Kim

Beth is in white here and man alive it REALLY works for her. She’s also a face here which is really rare. Vickie and Gail start with Kim getting shoved backwards. Vickie poses and when she turns around, it’s Beth. All the good girls take their turns on Vickie in the corner so she shouts at them. Michelle breaks up a pin by Kelly and we already begin the parade of finishers (Gail totally botches Eat Defeat), culminating with Beth ENDING Fox with the Glam Slam. Michelle saves Vickie from Beth with a big boot before putting Vickie on the top rope. The “Hog Splash” is enough to pin Kelly.

Rating: D. Laycool and Beth looked GREAT out there so it doesn’t fail for them. No one else was in there long enough to make much of an impression, but again it’s amazing how much better the Divas are at this point. They have personalities and actual emotions instead of just staring at cue cards and botching everything they do.

From Over the Limit 2010.

Raw Women’s Title: Maryse vs. Eve Torres

This is better than I’d expect it to be actually. This has gotten some great build over the past few weeks and due to a lack of matches they have to give it a lot of time. Maryse randomly starts crying for no adequately explained reason. We actually get some near falls. Eve hits some screwed up face plant into a rollup for the pin. Cole, Striker and Lawler make jokes about Eve and just lose it on commentary.

Rating: C-. For what you had to work with here and given what Divas matches tend to be, this was actually decent. I tend to start most Divas matches at a D or so, meaning this was pretty good. There was some actual drama and Eve won with a nice finisher. Solid little match.

From shortly thereafter at Fatal Fourway.

Raw Women’s Title: Maryse vs. Alicia Fox vs. Gail Kim vs. Eve Torres

Eve is in blue again so I can’t complain at all. Everyone is in this at once which does little to get my hopes up on this. Yeah I don’t care at all about this. Everyone goes for submissions at once but everyone breaks them up to play up the whole fatal aspect of this. The ropes can’t be used for breaks apparently.

I’d bet that’ll be compromised about a million times here. Eve hooks a camel clutch and Gail gets a Boston Crab on Alicia at the same time. Maryse runs her mouth off and Alicia blasts her. Gail hits a dropkick which Striker of course calls a Jumping Bomb Angel Double Stomp. I hate him at times. Eve hits a very fast neckbreaker on Maryse and doesn’t cover, instead hitting a bad moonsault. And Alicia Fox wins the title by stealing the pin on Maryse. Oh dear.

Rating: D. Seriously, are we supposed to care about Alicia Fox? She’s been on TV like once this year and is now the champion. I don’t get the appeal of her at all, but I guess someone does. I still don’t care about the division at all, but it needs to be merged with the other one to help it survive.

Maryse was on NXT Season 3, including October 26, 2010.

Maryse/Ted DiBiase vs. Goldust/Aksana

Aksana does look sexy in red. I’ll give her that. And just as the bell rings the video freezes. Ah there we go. The girls start us off. They yell at each other and Cole says his producer told him that if they’re talking let us hear them. AMEN! Maryse knocks off the horns and rips off the tail so now Aksana is just in a skin tight red suit. I’m sold.

It’s a mixed tag so the men have to fight each other. Of course we’re just talking about the wedding here which I guess makes sense here. We head to the floor with DiBiase being all ticked off. Why doesn’t he just grab the belt and run if that’s why he’s here? Maryse helps her man as Aksana plays cheerleader.

Goldust plays Ricky Morton for like a minute until the girls come in. The guys go to the floor and Aksana gets a small package out of nowhere for the pin. Is that her first win? DiBiase goes for the belt but Aksana slaps him and gets it back. The good people get away with it, proving that faces can get away with anything. Ventura and Heenan were right all along! Match ran about 6:30.

Rating: C. Not terrible and fine for a TV main event on a show like this one. This wasn’t your standard match where the guys did the majority of the work and the girls were in there for like 10 seconds. The girls were fairly decent out there which is surprising to me. Not a classic or anything but it did what it was supposed to do and didn’t seem that long.

Here’s a quick TV match from Smackdown on February 18, 2011.

Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix vs. Layla/Maryse

After the faces enter we take a break and get a clip of the first regular episode of Smackdown (remember that there was a pilot about four months earlier) from August of 99. Michelle has a bad foot so is out for awhile. Beth vs. Maryse to start. Michelle is on commentary and wants to know why Eve is the Divas Champion when Michelle got a pin also.

Off to Layla vs. Eve with the champion dominating. Michelle seems a bit irritated by Layla here as we continue to push the split. Eve fires away with kicks and Michelle gets off commentary. She limps up the steps and gets in the face of Layla. Beth hits her in the foot to bring her down. In the confusion, Layla and Maryse hit what I think was supposed to be a double superkick so that Layla can pin Eve at 2:27. No rating as this was mainly Layla vs. Eve but this was no worse than your usual Divas match.

We’ll wrap it up on Raw, July 25, 2011.

Maryse/Melina vs. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres

At least they all look good. Eve and Maryse start and Eve hits a downward spiral and then dances before trying a standing moonsault for two. Maryse gives her a Stinkface and Kelly comes in. Everything breaks down and Melina misses a charge, allowing the K2 to end it at 2:51. Thank goodness I don’t have to rate it. Match was AWFUL but the girls looked good.

So yeah, Maryse is the definition of a blonde bombshell and that’s all she needed to be. She could have passable matches but she was around to make everyone jealous and do that cool thing with her hand. At the end of the day though, Miz goes home to her every night in one of the most appropriate pairings ever. Maryse was around at a time when you only had to look good and be able to have a decent match to be a top Diva and that’s about as far as she got.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestler of the Day – October 6: Kelly Kelly

Time for another good looking one: Kelly Kelly.

Kelly got her start with no wrestling experience but was put in a match a few months later. We’ll pick things up on ECW on Sci-Fi, August 22, 2006.

Torrie Wilson/Tommy Dreamer/Sandman vs. Test/Mike Knox/Kelly Kelly

The girls go at it quickly and the fans freak out. Torrie is in a bikini so we get a Stinkface. So that’s where Kelly learned it. Test and Dreamer come in, thank goodness, with Test poking him in the eye to take over. A trio of backbreakers gets two. Knox comes in and stays on the back of Dreamer as the fans tell Knox that he can’t wrestle.

Test comes in and takes out Sandman before throwing Dreamer in a bearhug. Dreamer finally gets out and hooks a neckbreaker to give himself a breather. Off to Sandman and Knox but it’s Test who gets caught in the White Russian Legsweep. Sandman hits a Swanton (Rolling Rock) on Knox for two. After some interference from Test, Knox misses a middle rope legdrop. Dreamer DDT gets the pin on Knox.

Rating: D. This was a mess and the girls didn’t add anything to it, but they were only involved for about 30 seconds so it’s not that big of a deal. The match was boring though as it was just old school vs. new school which would be the story on this show for months on end. Sandman was a nostalgia act at this point but he got paid for a few months out of it so I can’t complain much there. Not a good match but it got the crowd a bit fired up so I can’t complain much.

She was on PPV at December to Dismember 2006.

Ariel/Kevin Thorn vs. Kelly/Mike Knox

Kelly dated Knox apparently. Kelly at this point is an exhibitionist and AWFUL. I mean she’s ridiculously bad so we get Knox and Thorn. Knox has no beard at this point and is somehow more worthless than he was before. Oh dang it they’re letting him talk. Oh good Kelly is talking instead. She likes Punk, who gets a chant. That chant didn’t happen though. No one likes Punk. What people want is HARDCORE HOLLY AND TEST!!!

Thorn is a vampire and Ariel is a fortune telling gypsy or something. She would become Salinas in TNA in case you’re more familiar with them. This is a freaking disgrace. I’m glad no one bought it as it makes things seem a bit better. No one cares about this either as since both girls can’t wrestle we more or less have a Knox vs. Thorn match.

And here they are. At least Kelly looks hot. Kelly tries to get the tag to Knox but he leaves. Note: the fans chant for Punk to come make the save. To make sure it’s clear: Punk is OVER. Sandman makes the save instead which gets a nice pop.

Rating: D-. Kelly looking hot is the only reason this passes. I just want to get to the end of this.

Kelly was out of the ring for awhile to get some extra training. We’ll pick things up again at Summerslam 2007.

Divas Battle Royal

Beth Phoeix, Torrie Wilson, Victoria, Layla, Brooke, Kelly Kelly, Kristal Marshall, Michelle McCool, Mickie James, Jillian Hall, Melina, Maria

The winner gets a title shot at Candace Michelle at some point in the future and you don’t have to go over the top rope. It’s a Divas battle royal so you know this is going to come down to about three people as potential winners. It’s a huge brawl to start with Brooke (Miss Tessmacher) being sent out early. Jillian Hall eliminates Maria and those great little shorts of hers. Layla, who looks much better with curly hair, is out and the loud screaming continues.

Kristal actually knocks Victoria out and Michelle puts Kristal out a few seconds later. Kelly is thrown out and Mickie helps Michelle eliminate Jillian. Melina dumps Mickie and we’re down to Torrie, Melina, McCool and Phoenix. Melina screams a lot and takes Torrie down but gets clotheslined out by Michelle. Torrie and McCool go after Beth but Wilson is quickly tossed. Beth easily tosses for the win.

Rating: D. There’s just NOTHING to talk about in these things. It’s all about the girls looking good and while that worked, it doesn’t make for an interesting eight minutes of “action.” Beth would go on to dominate the division for several years as the wrestling was phased out in favor of models who MIGHT wrestle a match here or there. Then they brought in a second belt for some reason that didn’t work. Less than nothing of value here, other than looks.

Another multi-Diva match to hide their lack of skills. From Survivor Series 2007.

Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla

One fall to a finish here and Beth is Women’s Champion. The Divas Title doesn’t exist yet which is how things should have stayed. Layla is WAY hotter being evil and Melina has some gorgeous hair. She also falls off the apron during her splits entrance which is worth a chuckle. The second attempt works and thankfully she’s smiling after screwing it up. Mickie and Maria are ridiculously good looking as well.

Victoria and Michelle start things off with Michelle taking over with a headlock. A big boot puts Victoria (Tara in TNA if you’re new at this) down and it’s off to Torrie who can’t wrestle a watchable match to save her life. Victoria kills her mostly dead with a side slam and it’s off to Layla who is so bad here that she can’t even beat up torrie. Kelly and Jillian come in and Jillian tries to scream a bit, only to get rolled up for two. Maria comes in, basically wearing a bikini.

Thankfully Beth comes in to flatten Maria before handing it right back to Layla. Actually make that Melina, who misses a charge at Maria and crotches herself, allowing for the hot tag to Mickie. James beats up everyone in sight, has her partners take out Beth, and hits the Long Kiss Goodnight on Melina for the pin. What’s the Long Kiss Goodnight you ask? That would be every 13 year old’s dream: Mickie literally bends Melina back and kisses her before kicking her in the head for the pin.

Rating: D. Yes, the match sucked. Yes, most of the women in this are horrible wrestlers. Yes, if you’re complaining about these things, you’re missing the point. This was pure fan service as you had ten girls in either tight or barely there outfits and one hot woman kissing another hot woman before kicking her in the head. If you’re looking for a wrestling match here, you’re in the wrong place.

Same idea from Backlash 2008.

Beth Phoenix/Melina/Layla/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Natalya vs. Mickie James/Michelle McCool/Ashley/Cherry/Kelly Kelly/Maria

Mickie won the title from Beth a few weeks ago in a huge upset. There is something to be said about putting 12 good looking women in a single tag match. Beth, with curly hair, starts with Michelle, who looks GOOD in black. Beth counters the speed moves and powerslams her down for two. Off to Melina who hooks a bridging front facelock with a choke. Michelle rolls through a sunset flip and dropkicks Melina in the face.

Off to the champ (Mickie in case you forgot) who hits a rana out of the corner but Melina tags off to Natalya who is in a black and yellow body suit. It’s her PPV debut so it’s understandable I guess. Victoria comes in and misses her shaking moonsault. Mickie hits an enziguri and the brawl breaks out on the floor. Ashley comes in for a HORRIBLE rana on Jillian, getting two. Thankfully Beth comes in to give her a beating for how bad it was. Ashley escapes the Glam Slam but can’t tag. Mickie comes in illegally and the parade of finishers begin. After everyone hits something, Beth pins Ashley with a fisherman’s buster.

Rating: D+. The match sucked, but MAN were the girls better back then. They were better in the ring and they looked a lot better too. The girls here actually looked like their outfits weren’t made by the same people which is a big upgrade. Also them having more than 90 seconds a week is a big improvement too. Screw them being role models. They exist because they look good in tight spandex that shows off their bodies. Don’t try to over complicate this stuff.

Here’s Kelly against probably her biggest rival on Raw, September 22, 2008.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Beth takes him into the corner but Kelly moves out of the way for some speedy gymnastics. Beth comes back with a Buckle Bomb and yells about Batista. Candace is watching in the back. Kelly comes back with a cross body out of the corner for two. Santino’s interference backfires and Kelly gets the rollup for the pin. This was when the Divas were only bad and not horrible yet.

Time to put them in more revealing outfits at Armageddon 2008.

Maria/Mickie James/Kelly Kelly/Michelle McCool vs. Maryse/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Natalya

Time to fight for brand supremacy at Bragging Rights 2009.

Michelle McCool/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Melina/Kelly Kelly/Gail Kim

Beth in blue is an amazing sight. This was when Michelle got really hot really fast. Look at the rosters. Who do you think is going to win? Beth and Gail start. Can’t believe I’m typing this but DANG at Michelle. All three Smackdown girls have been in there in less than a minute. Kelly tries a sunset flip and it’s bad. This is just painfully uninteresting as there is less than zero chance for Raw to win two in a row. I mean the match is ok, but people just couldn’t care any less as there is zero drama. Crowd is more or less dead too. Glam Slam ends Melina for the pin.

Rating: W. As in who cares? Like I said, the idea that THIS was going to decide the cup and not the big tag was just ridiculous and it crippled the match. Also the match was just generic as all goodness. This could have been any other Divas match which really shows how bland the division is at this point.

Another multi girl match, but this time on the big stage of Wrestlemania XXVI.

Laycool/Vickie Guerrero/Maryse/Alicia Fox vs. Beth Phoenix/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Mickie James/Gail Kim

Off to TV on July 2, 2010′s Smackdown.

Kelly Kelly vs. Michelle McCool

Does Tiffany actually serve any kind of purpose? Grisham says both of them are knockouts. That’s kind of a funny line for some reason. I could watch Laycool’s entrance all day. Michelle stalls a lot before we actually get going as the heels spray air freshener. Tiffany gets jumped and might have hurt her shoulder. Tiffany gets up long enough to distract Michelle and Kelly rolls her up for the pin. This again was too short to mean anything. I guess that might be the point though.

Rating: A+. Seriously when the worst looking girl in a match is Tiffany, something is working.

More Smackdown with Kelly…..defending the World Heavyweight Championship? From Smackdown on February 4, 2011.

Smackdown World Title: Kelly Kelly/Edge vs. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler

We even get big match intros for this. Chimmel has cut down on the throat cracking during Edge’s intro. The genders have to match here. Vickie says if there’s a spear the title is vacated. The guys start us off with Edge in control. He wants the spear and Vickie shouts at him to do it. Ziggler tags both members of Laycool so we get Michelle. Off to Kelly to make it Kelly Kelly vs. Michelle McCool for the World Heavyweight Championship as we take a break.

Kelly is all fired up here and beats up both members of Laycool with her gymnastics. Instead though Michelle catches a rana on the floor and spins Kelly into the barricade. That gets two back in the ring. Dolph: “Stay down Barbie!” Layla in now as Kelly is in trouble. Belly to belly by Michelle gets two. Kelly backflips out of a suplex and slaps the heck out of McCool to put both girls down.

Is there a reason why the initials on Dolph’s tights are backwards? Layla gets a head scissors choke on Kelly for a bit. Kelly fights back and it’s an X–Factor to break the momentum. The referee misses the tag to Edge allows Layla to beat on Kelly a bit more. Edge goes after Ziggler anyway but Michelle misses a big kick to Layla. Edge is ready for the tag but instead Kelly spears Layla to retain the world title at 6:50 shown of 10:20.

Rating: C. Decent main event here with a nice ending. Vickie said Edge couldn’t use a spear, not Kelly. It’s kind of cheap but it worked just fine for the ending to a TV main event. I’d have liked more Edge though as he was in there maybe a minute. I guess that was the point though as it made the title seem to be in jeopardy. This was just ok though as it was really Kelly vs. Laycool for the most part. Still though, creative way to have Edge be in trouble.

Off to Raw now on June 20, 2011 for a big moment.

Divas Title: Brie Bella vs. Kelly Kelly

Cole mistakenly says Kelly is a former champion. Brie runs early on and Nikki teases interference, allowing Brie to get in a shot and take over. Off to the chinlock with Kelly in trouble. Kelly starts her comeback but gets caught in a neckbreaker for two. Kelly tries a victory roll out of the corner but Brie reverses ala Owen Hart. That gets reversed as well though into another victory roll position and Kelly wins the title at 3:02.

Rating: C-. Well this was only about three years too late but she finally won it I guess. She’s gotten a bit better in the ring but this isn’t much of note. Not a horrible match but this was incredibly generic. The Bellas were more or less done as champions though so there’s not many reasons to not make this switch.

Time to defend it, starting at Money in the Bank 2011.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Brie Bella

Booker says he never dressed like his brother in Harlem Heat. Is his memory failing or something? No idea what you want me to say here. They’re both hot, they’re both inept, the match is slightly longer than a regular match they have on Raw. Kelly is champion in case you’re reading this like three years from now. It’s a totally boring match and it’s a total food break for the crowd. Oh and Eve is with Kelly at ringside here. Crowd is dead here. K2 ends this at like four minutes. Total filler and it knows it.

Rating: D. What do you want me to say here? This match was nothing but the girls looked good so I can’t call it a failure. The division is horrible since Kharma got pregnant and Laycool went down at the same time. Not a horrible match but just an extended Raw thing really. It served its purpose though I guess.

And again at Night of Champions 2011.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

The fans are totally behind Beth and the power is too much for Kelly to start us off. The fans say she sucks, and I’m sure she does. Kelly gets in a few shots but the power is still too much for her. There’s not much to say here as it’s almost all dominance. Kelly gets in a bulldog to break things up and is booed out of the building. Eve and Nattie get into it outside and Kelly is beaten down again.

Kelly grabs a small package (isn’t that how she got this job?) for two but the K2 is blocked and Beth takes her head off with a clothesline. Kelly is put on the top rope and gets killed by a superplex. Both chicks are down though as you would expect. That only gets two for Beth and it’s Glam Slam time. In the EXACT same finish from Summerslam, Kelly rolls through for the pin at 6:47. Give me a break.

Rating: C-. The superplex was awesome but the ending being EXACTLY the same thing as Summerslam makes it look pretty freaking stupid. Kelly getting booed out of the building on the pin is funny stuff and it’s definitely a good sign, even though it’s the hometown pop more than anything else. Not a good match but for the Divas it’s not all that bad.

After losing the title, it’s time for more multi Divas matches, starting at Royal Rumble 2012.

Divas of Doom/Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Alicia Fox/Tamina/Kelly Kelly

The Divas of Doom are Beth and Natalya. Natalya and Tamina start things off and they collide a few times. Tamina slaps her in the face before chopping Nattie down for two. Off to Eve for that bouncing moonsault for two. Since that’s a pretty lame move, Natalya charges her into the corner and brings in Beth who blocks a rolling splash with knees to Eve’s back.

Off to let’s say Nikki for some basic stomps to the back and a quickly broken chinlock. Jerry is asked what he likes about the Bellas and he can’t even get an answer out. Not hot tag brings in Alicia who is immediately sent into the corner and chinlocked as well. Alicia finally counters by flipping Nikki forward and makes the actual hot tag to Kelly. There’s the screaming headscissors and a faceplant for two. Everything breaks down and almost everyone heads to the floor, where Kelly hits a HUGE dive to take everyone out. Back in and Beth SLAPS herself in to hit the Glam Slam on Kelly for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was your usual Divas match: they did their “sexy” spots, they had barely there outfits, Kelly screamed a lot, Beth beat up Kelly to end things. One interesting note from a year later: would they even be able to put together an eight Divas tag now? I’m thinking through the roster and I don’t know if I can name eight girls on the main shows right now.

We’ll wrap it up with Kelly’s last match on Raw, August 6, 2012.

Kelly Kelly vs. Eve Torres

Eve tries to bail but Kelly takes her down with a Thesz Press. What would a Kelly match be without a Stinkface either? I’m so glad she came back do do that. Eve tries to walk again but Kelly throws her into the barricade. A top rope cross body gets two for Kelly but she gets slammed into the mat coming out of the corner. Eve puts on a chinlock which is quickly broken up. Kelly hits a standing rana for the pin at 3:04.

Rating: D. Dang it this had to be long enough to rate. I don’t care about Kelly Kelly at all. Yes, she looks good in a swimsuit but that’s about all she has going for her. Her wrestling is ok at best and I refuse to take a girl seriously when her song is about hollering in a club. Nothing to see here but at least it was longer than the usual jokes that the Divas matches are. That’ll help somewhat in the long run.

I think I’ve made my thoughts on Kelly clear: she’s gorgeous, looks great in very little clothing, and can have a passable match at best. She got her job based on her looks and there’s nothing wrong with that as she could have been FAR worse. They tried to make her a big deal but at some point you have to be able to back it up in the ring. She wasn’t terrible and looking at her was never a chore so it’s hard to complain all that much.

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Wrestler of the Day – September 15: Beth Phoenix

Time for the perfect combination of beauty and power: Beth Phoenix.

Phoenix got her start in 2001 and we’ll pick things up in 2004 at a WXW show. I don’t know where that is either.

Elite 8 Second Round: Beth Phoenix vs. Angel Williams

Angel is better known as Angelina Love. Phoenix comes in holding her neck so Williams grabs two quick rollups for a near fall each. We quickly hit a chinlock to work on Beth’s neck but Phoenix comes back with a gutwrench suplex. Angel slaps on a dragon sleeper but Tracy Brooks and a chick named Belladonna come out for a distraction, allowing Beth to grab a quick rollup for the pin.

Beth would sign with WWE and be sent to OVW, including this match on March 22, 2006.

Beth Phoenix vs. Trinity

If nothing else Trinity comes out to Sad But True by Metallica, making her even more awesome than usual. Trinity takes Beth down and hammers away with forearms, sending Phoenix running out to the floor. Back in and Beth tries a Whiplash but Trinity slips out, only to get speared down for two. An O’Connor Roll gets two for Trinity so Beth slaps her a lot. Trinity calmly grabs her for a Rock Bottom and Beth rolls to the floor. Trinity goes up for a dive but Beth moves, giving us a great looking crash. Beth smiles at Trinity probably having about nineteen broken bones and takes her back in for a super Whiplash and the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here but I’ve always liked Trinity. That missed dive and the Whiplash (fireman’s carry into a sitout Death Valley Driver) looked awesome. Both girls were nailing it here but the time hurt them a lot. Trinity never did much in WWE but was kind of a deal in TNA a few years earlier.

It was off to WWE soona fter that with Beth getting an early title shot at No Mercy 2007.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle

Candace is defending and looks like an idiot with the angel’s wings on her outfit. Beth throws her into the corner to start but Candice manages a nice bridging cradle for two. She goes for Beth’s arm but we get the Davey Boy Smith/Shawn Michaels move of the pullup from the ground. Powerslam gets two and it’s off to a chinlock.

Actually it’s a cobra clutch but it’s the same idea. Candice climbs the corner ala Bret vs. Austin for two but can’t break the hold. She finally rams Beth into the buckle to escape and a top rope cross body gets two, as does a sunset flip out of the corner. Beth grabs her into a fisherman’s buster which is enough for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. Candice was supposed to be the next big thing in the Divas division but this was her only title reign and not many people really remember her. Beth would become a much bigger deal with multiple title reigns, including the one that is going on now which will seemingly never end. This wasn’t bad.

Here’s a defense of that title at Armageddon 2007.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix

Beth is champion here. Mickie tries to attack the knees but that doesn’t get her anywhere. Neither does a rana attempt. Beth puts on a dragon sleeper and then the double chickenwing which Beth escapes. Now the rana works and there’s a Thesz Press. Neckbreaker puts Beth down but she didn’t cover. And never mind as Beth hits a release fisherman’s suplex for the pin to retain.

Rating: D-. The match sucked but any time you have Beth in a shirt and Mickie in small amounts of clothing, the match simply isn’t a failure. The match was just a way to give the fans a breather before we get to the main event, which is all that’s left. Nothing of note here and Beth dominated the majority of the match.

Off to Wrestlemania XXIV.

Maria/Ashley vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina

This is a Playboy lumberjill match with Snoop Dogg as master of ceremonies in a golf cart. Snoop of course comes out with all of the lumberjills because that’s what Snoop would do. Ashley is her usual self and Maria looks great. Also, her theme song continues to be ridiculously catchy. Oh and Beth is Women’s Champion and has Santino with her. Melina has uh….wings.

Ashley tries to fight Beth and is immediately thrown around. Maria tries a double hip toss with Ashley which goes as well as you would expect two talentless models to be able to do. Melina is thrown to the floor and beaten up by the good Divas and takes a bad Bronco Buster from Maria. Ashley gets a running start to climb to the middle ropes to punch Melina as this mess continues. Melina takes over and catapults Ashley into a bearhug by Beth.

Melina hits a moonsault off of Beth’s shoulders for two before we get a stupid trip from Ashley. Off to Maria for some kicks as the lights go out. They finally get a spotlight on as this continues to fall apart. Maria tries to counter the Glam Slam into a bulldog but can’t even do that right. Melina breaks up the pin and we get heel miscommunication. Maria hits a kind of top rope bulldog but Santino breaks up the pin. Lawler punches out Santino but Beth hits a fisherman’s buster for the pin on Maria.

Rating: F+. That’s ALL for Maria looking great. I forgot this match was a lumberjill match after about a minute and the rest of the girls couldn’t even be seen after that long. Maria was TERRIBLE here and she was the better worker on her team. This didn’t work at all and was the disaster to end all disasters for Divas matches.

Here’s a lame match with an awesome visual at One Night Stand 2008.

Beth Phoenix vs. Melina

Recaps? Context? Point to the match? Who needs those stupid things? This is an I Quit match. We get a clip from Judgment Day of Beth hitting a double backbreaker on Melina and Mickie at the same time which is rather awesome. Dang it’s fun to watch Melina gyrate. Beth backs her into the ropes immediately to intimidate her so Melina grabs a guillotine choke of all things and Beth is in trouble early.

Beth easily counters out of it but it was working for awhile. Backbreaker gives Beth control and a bow and arrow has Melina in trouble. Something resembling a face jam/tornado DDT to Beth sets up an Indian Deathlock with a bridge which is always awesome looking. Beth crawls to the floor because ropes mean nothing. That looked pretty cool at least. Over the shoulder backbreaker has Melina in trouble as there is no flow to this match at all.

The fans want Chyna which should tell you how uninteresting this is. JR and King kind of shut up for a bit as Beth puts on a chinlock. Melina manages to send her into the middle buckle and Beth’s shoulder hits the post a bit later. Headscissors sets up an armbar, almost like La Mistica. Cross Armbreaker goes on as the crowd flat out does not care. Off to an arm choke but Beth is like screw that and hits a powerbomb to break it. Seated double chickenwing goes on and Melina looks like she’s about to cry. Beth then grabs the chin and pulls back to the point where Melina’s head is touching her own feet and that’s it.

Rating: D+. Another ridiculously boring match but at least Beth was hot. Seriously, other than that there was next to nothing going on here. Also, Divas don’t need ten minutes because it doesn’t take that long to go buy a Coke. Pretty weak match overall and nothing special in the slightest.

Beth would start dating Santino Marella, setting up this double title match at Summerslam 2008.

Intercontinental Title/Women’s Title: Glamarella vs. Mickie James/Kofi Kingston

Mickie and Kofi have both belts coming in but the winning team walks out with all the gold. Kofi is still relatively new here and has only won the IC Title once, as opposed to his 89 or so reigns now. The girls get things going with Beth easily overpowering James. Mickie comes back with some quick dropkicks for two before it’s off to Santino. James easily monkey flips him over before it’s off to Kofi for some of his usual stuff. The jumping punches in the corner have Santino on the floor where Beth yells at him.

Kingston loads up a charge but hangs on, only to send Santino jumping into Beth’s arms. Kofi pulls him back in but gets his neck snapped across the top rope for one. Beth beats on Kofi for a bit before bringing Santino back in for his basic offense. A suplex sets up a chinlock but Kofi fights up and butts heads with Santino, allowing for the double tags to the girls. Mickie cleans house and clotheslines Beth down before snapping off her hurricanrana on Beth. Kofi comes in and misses a charge like an idiot but the MickieDT puts Santino down. Beth decks Mickie and hits the Glam Slam for both titles.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing special and could have been on any given Raw. I don’t know of a better way they could have gotten the title on Santino though so you can’t fault the for trying. Kofi would begin his long float in the midcard which would last for the next several years other than a cup of coffee in the upper midcard. The girls looked good here but that’s about it.

Back to one of her original rivals at No Mercy 2008.

Women’s Title: Candice Michelle vs. Beth Phoenix

Beth is defending in the rematch from last year. Candice immediately kicks the knee out for two. A dropkick to the head of Beth as she’s getting up gets the same. An enziguri slows Phoenix down as Candice is starting off fast. A charge is caught and Beth rams her into the buckle to stop that cold.

Beth hooks a modified cross armbreaker which lasts for a few moments. Candice comes back with some of the weakest clotheslines I can ever remember. Her arms are TINY which is what makes them so weak. Beth puts her down and goes up top, only to get crotched and dropkicked for two. Santino had to make the save so Candice dropkicks him through the ropes. Back inside the glam Slam quickly ends this.

Rating: D+. Candice slowly fell down a mountain after she lost the title a year before this. Like I said her offense was mostly dropkicks and not very good ones at that. On top of that there were the clotheslines which were embarrassing. The Divas took a nosedive around this point as the good chicks were just not there with the talent other than one in a handful. Also there were two titles by this point which didn’t help anything at all.

Here’s Beth against a chick she fought about a million times, from Raw on January 19, 2009.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Beth is Women’s Champion but this is non-title. This was before Kelly got good. Let that sink in for a minute. Kelly is in a Blackhawks jersey and tries to speed things up, only to get run over. Glam Slam and we’re done in about a minute.

We’ll jump ahead a bit to Bragging Rights 2009.

Michelle McCool/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Melina/Kelly Kelly/Gail Kim

Beth in blue is an amazing sight. This was when Michelle got really hot really fast. Look at the rosters. Who do you think is going to win? Beth and Gail start. Can’t believe I’m typing this but DANG at Michelle. All three Smackdown girls have been in there in less than a minute. Kelly tries a sunset flip. It’s bad. This is just painfully uninteresting as there is less than zero chance for Raw to win two in a row. I mean the match is ok, but people just couldn’t care any less as there is zero drama. Crowd is more or less dead too. Glam Slam ends Melina for the pin.

Beth had a chance to get the title back at Extreme Rules 2010.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Michelle McCool

This is an Extreme Makeover match. Michelle looks great of course. The music helps a lot here for her I think. There’s a table of makeup etc at ringside. Beth gets a semi-pop. Can someone shut Beth up? Please? Michelle is possibly the best women’s athlete ever? Really? That’s just pitiful. Basically we’re just making fun of Vickie and using random weapons like hairspray and ironing boards. Beth counters the hairspray again and it’s one on one now. Vickie has a broom. Make your own jokes. Glam Slam ends it like it should have.

Rating: D. And that’s mainly due to Beth’s awesome cleavage in this one. This was a comedy match to put it nicely and it didn’t come off well to put it nicely. The girls looked hot, but having them use things like makeup and ironing boards? Really? The division was just such a mess at this point and this didn’t help things.

A torn ACL kept Beth out of action for months but she was back in time for TLC 2010 and this tag team tables match.

Beth Phoenix/Natalya vs. Laycool

Quick recap video which is of the table on Friday which didn’t work. No tagging here thank goodness. The pink table with the painting from Friday is brought in as Laycool is down early. Crowd is QUIET here. Lawler says he’s never seen a Diva go through a table. That’s just amusing. Double fireman’s carry by Beth is very impressive. Striker makes an important point: any method of going through the table counts. Also it’s only one Diva required for a win.

Laycool in control now as the fans do not care at all. Beth is on the floor now as Laycool takes over. SICK landing by Beth as her foot gets hooked on a rope and she lands straight on her back/head. That was painful as all goodness, it had to be. Michelle sets for a Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) through a table on Nattie but Beth comes back for the save.

Not table for Michelle (“JUST WAIT UNTIL MARK HEARS ABOUT THIS!!!”) as Layla rakes Beth’s eyes. Layla beats on Beth for awhile but can’t suplex her through it. Double gorilla press by the blondes to Layla until Michelle kicks both in the ribs. Natalya puts Layla on top of Michelle and puts them BOTH in a Sharpshooter at the same time. TAKE THAT BRET!!!

The nice chicks set up the tables but Michelle sends Beth to the floor to make it 2-1 again. They set for a double superplex but Beth saves again. A lot of near finishes in this one indeed. Down goes Beth so they set for it again but they’re shoved off. The table DID NOT BREAK so Natalya is like screw it and splashes them through it to end this.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t as bad as you would have thought as Laycool fought them off far better than people would have predicted. It was a good match even but did anyone ever think Laycool had a realistic shot out there? Not a bad match or anything but at the same time it didn’t really get me into the match and it kind of dragged. Still fun though and that Sharpshooter was GREAT.

Time for another title run. From Hell in a Cell 2011.

Divas Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Kelly runs at her and hits what are supposed to be Thesz Presses (popular move tonight) and the screaming headscissors which is countered into a backbreaker. Beth takes over and chokes her down with what looks like a dragon sleeper. Off to another backbreaker but this time she bends Kelly over her knee but Kelly counters into a rollup for two. Slingshot suplex gets two for Beth.

Kelly starts her comeback and uses generic offense and a neckbreaker for two. She tries the bad bulldog but Beth counters into a Glam Slam attempt. Beth pounds away in the corner but Kelly fights out and hits the handspring elbow. Cole calls it vintage and Great Muta rolls his eyes somewhere. Top rope bulldog by Kelly gets a very close two. Eve and Nattie get into it on the floor and Eve goes flying into the barricade.

K2 is countered and Beth kicks Kelly between the legs for some reason. Beth hooks up that freaky submission that Natalya has been using lately and Nattie gets on the mic and tells Kelly to scream. Kelly makes the ropes and Natalya pops her with the mic which somehow the referee didn’t hear. Glam Slam FINALLY ends Kelly’s reign at 8:34. Yes they’re that long on time.

Rating: C. This was way too long and I can’t get over the ending: Beth Phoenix needed a mic shot to beat Kelly Kelly? I don’t get that at all as they’ve made Beth look weak already with two straight losses but at least she finally has the belt. I’d assume this sets up Eve vs. Kelly as they fill in as much time as they can for the Kharma return in like another 7 months or however long it is.

Another defense at Vengeance 2011.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix

We get a clip from earlier in the day with the evil girls attacking Kelly as Eve makes the save. I guess Kelly is Crazy is going into the pool of the forgotten right? Eve has new music too and it sounds awful. At least we can look at her awesome legs. Kelly and Natalya are banned from ringside. Eve grabs a sunset flip to start and we’re talking about Beth’s underwear for some reason.

They fight over to the ropes…and Beth is now handcuffed to the ropes via something on her own outfit. Eve kicks away and Beth is free. Uh, point to that? Beth takes over on the floor and gets two back in the ring. The fans are bored out of their minds here which is saying a lot as they were hot for the first half hour.

Gutbuster kind of move gets two and we’re off to our second rest hold in a minute. Beth slaps her head and screams at her to cry. Eve starts her comeback and puts Beth down with a clothesline and a flipping splash for two. Eve gets some kind of choke out while she on Beth’s shoulders and it turns into something resembling a triangle choke. The cool looking submission doesn’t work though because that might get it over as a finisher and Eve has one of those already. Glam Slam is countered into a rollup for two. Eve gets a kick in and goes up for the moonsault but Beth moves. Glam Slam ends this at 7:16.

Rating: D+. I’ve watched a lot of wrestling in my time and I don’t recall a division or story that I was less interested in than the Divas in WWE at the moment. I mean there is nothing of interest or note at all about them. They kill the crowds other than Kelly and the matches are as unnatural looking as any I’ve ever seen. I mean there is nothing interesting to them at all and I dread watching them every show. The match wasn’t bad. I just didn’t want to watch it.

Another defense from Elimination Chamber 2012.

Divas Title: Tamina Snuka vs. Beth Phoenix

Beth is wearing something inspired by Piper. This match could be subtitled “How many times can we remind you that Tamina is Jimmy Snuka’s daughter in a last ditch effort to make you care about her”. Tamina goes up quickly but gets knocked down to the outside. Beth pounds on her and Tamina barely gets back inside. Tamina gets up and hits a Samoan Drop but the Splash is broken up. Superplex gets two for Beth and Tamina chops her down. Superfly Splash gets two. Tamina goes up again but Beth brings her down, sends her into the buckle and the Glam Slam retains the title at 7:00.

Rating: D+. Call me sexist, call me a chauvinist, call me whatever you want, but I’m bored out of my mind every time the Divas are on screen. They’re waiting on Beth vs. Kharma which basically means they’re spending a year putting the whole division on hold, but at the end of the day is anyone going to care? I mean, who is Kharma going to feud with once she beats Beth? The division means nothing and it’s so uninteresting. The US Title can’t get on PPV because we have to see this. Right.

We’ll wrap up Beth’s WWE run on Raw, October 29, 2012.

AJ vs. Beth Phoenix

Beth glares at AJ to start and says AJ should be scared. Beth shoves her and AJ goes nuts, but Beth slams her down onto the mat. AJ gets her face rubbed into the mat and we head to the floor. AJ gets rammed into the barricade but back inside she grabs a rollup for the pin at 2:08.

Vickie comes out post match and demands more from AJ. Beth jumps her so Vickie says restart the match. Glam Slam gets the pin in like ten seconds.

That would be Beth’s last match as she retired soon after due to some personal issues. Beth was a good choice for the dominant Diva as she was big, strong, and talented but still very good looking as opposed to the usual freakish looking monsters. Unfortunately she didn’t have much talent around her and it showed with a lot of bad matches. Still though, she did her thing quite well.

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Wrestler of the Day – September 4: Michelle McCool

Today we’re going to look at a Diva who got good, married a legend, then got great. Today is Michelle McCool.

Michelle got her start through the 2004 Diva Search. After a bit in developmental, McCool would be on Smackdown, including this match on June 30, 2005. This is Melina’s debut.

Melina vs. Michelle McCool

Melina is doing the A-List gimmick and talked about all the celebrities coming to see her first match. There were even paparazzi waiting for her as she made her entrance. Michelle isn’t much yet other than a hot blonde in barely there shorts. Melina is sent to the floor and kicked through the ropes but Michelle drags her back inside.

A rollup gets two for Michelle and a kick to the face gets the same. Melina begs off and offers a handshake and the tall blonde actually goes for it. She earns that right hand to the face and Melina chokes away for awhile. An awkward looking kick to the face puts Michelle down as her shorts don’t want to stay down. Melina powerbombs Michelle out of the corner and rolls her up with feet on the ropes for the pin. Too short to rate but the outfits were better than the match.

We’ll jump ahead to the next year to Smackdown on October 6, 2006. Michelle is now a sexy teacher with a team of KC James and Idol “Damien Sandow” Stevens.

Michelle McCool vs. Ashley

McCool stomps away at the ribs to start and takes Ashley into the corner for a hair drag. Ashley comes back with some forearms to the spine and a Boston crab but James comes out to drag Michelle to the ropes. They trade forearms until McCool rolls through a cross body and grabs the skirt for the pin. Ashley looked TERRIBLE here.

Another one off match from Smackdown, I believe on May 10, 2007.

Michelle McCool vs. Jillian Hall

Jillian takes her into the corner to start and cartwheels into an elbow drop. A chinlock doesn’t get Hall anywhere and Michelle rolls her up for two. Michelle flips into a jackknife cover for two before a belly to belly gets the same. After all that, a backbreaker of all things is enough to give Michelle the pin.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad but you can see Michelle getting better out there. She still isn’t what you would call good yet but she didn’t embarrass herself out there and actually looked like she could wrestle longer than a few minutes. The belly to belly and backbreaker weren’t bad and both were a nice change of pace from the usual Diva offense.

Off to Survivor Series 2007 for the big Divas mess.

Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla

Rating: D. Yes, the match sucked. Yes, most of the women in this are horrible wrestlers. Yes, if you’re complaining about these things, you’re missing the point. This was pure fan service as you had ten girls in either tight or barely there outfits and one hot woman kissing another hot woman before kicking her in the head. If you’re looking for a wrestling match here, you’re in the wrong place.

Here’s a title match from Great American Bash 2008.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya

This is for the inaugural title and there’s probably some stupid tournament that set this up. Michelle takes her to the mat and speeds things up. Natalya takes over and hooks a surfboard but Michelle counters (impressively so) into a heel hook attempt which is countered. Nattie hooks the Sharpshooter but Michelle gets the ropes. A second attempt is countered into the heel hook and Michelle wins the title.

Rating: D. The joke here was that hopefully Michelle enjoyed the Undertaker semen that came with that belt. I’m not sure how much anyone cared or if anyone on the planet that didn’t work for WWE thinks there was a need for another female title, but they unified it…eventually, as in like two years later.

And another from Unforgiven 2008.

Divas Title: Maryse vs. Michelle McCool

Michelle would get another shot at the title at The Bash.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Melina vs. Michelle McCool

Melina was just freaking stunning at this point once she dyed her hair black. Michelle was getting there too and she has Alicia with her here for reasons that I’m sure don’t mean anything. For some reason I like Michelle’s music. Melina comes out hot. And she’s being intense too. Michelle can actually work pretty well.

She hooks a hold where Melina’s foot is touching Melina’s head from behind. DANG that girl is flexible. Ok five minutes have passed but I’m back now. Melina’s knee is hurt of course as it always is. Michelle kicks her head off for two. That sounded painful as all goodness. Styles Clash gives Michelle the title.

Rating: C-. It did its job. This was just supposed to be an appetizer to the remainder of the show and that’s what it did. And I think that’s enough padding to say that the girls looked great here and that was the whole point to this. I’m glad they kept this quick because neither girl was able to carry the other.

Michelle was on the Smackdown team at Bragging Rights 2009.

Michelle McCool/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Melina/Kelly Kelly/Gail Kim

Beth in blue is an amazing sight. This was when Michelle got really hot really fast. Look at the rosters. Who do you think is going to win? Beth and Gail start. Can’t believe I’m typing this but DANG at Michelle. All three Smackdown girls have been in there in less than a minute. Kelly tries a sunset flip. It’s bad. This is just painfully uninteresting as there is less than zero chance for Raw to win two in a row. I mean the match is ok, but people just couldn’t care any less as there is zero drama. Crowd is more or less dead too. Glam Slam ends Melina for the pin.

Rating: W. As in who cares? Like I said, the idea that THIS was going to decide the cup and not the big tag was just ridiculous and it crippled the match. Also the match was just generic. This could have been any other Divas match which really shows how bland the division is at this point.

We’ll jump ahead to Night of Champions 2010 for a title unification match against Melina.

Women’s Titles: Michelle McCool vs. Melina

Michelle in red: DANG. Nice back shot of her as the bell rings. Layla is ticked at her for being in there as we hear about the history of the Women’s Title, which is of course mostly nonsense but whatever. Crowd is DEAD. Yes, a Chicago crowd is dead. Michelle sends her to the floor but no one sends her back in. NICE Blockbuster from Orton’s elevated DDT position by Michelle. I love the Blockbuster (jumping front flip neckbreaker) so that was sweet for me.

Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) is blocked and Melina takes over. Decent belly to belly suplex for two by the blonde. Kelly gets up on the apron marking the first time they do anything all night as Melina has her rolled up. Kelly is for Melina here but just doesn’t get it I guess. The girls all beat up Michelle and send her back in. They need to stop slapping the mat as I think it’s a referee count.

Melina does the Matrix Move but Michelle just kicks her. Again: kicking and punching people works best a lot of the time. Both girls hit the floor as the girls yell at Michelle, showing off their acting…..talent. Layla interferes and Michelle gets to hit a, wait for it, wait for it, BIG BOOT TO UNIFY THE BELTS.

Rating: C-. Surprisingly decent match here although the girls were absolutely pointless out there. Layla interfering is fine as it’s expected, but what about the heat between them allegedly? This wasn’t much but at least it gets rid of the stupid Divas Title, or at least I hope so. Better than most Divas matches though so I’ll give it that.

Another Divas Title match at Hell in a Cell 2010.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya

Michelle looks good in her gold shorts if nothing else. Striker tries to claim Michelle is the best in ring working woman ever. I’m not even going to make a joke about that because it’s not fair to make fun of people that stupid. Michelle dominates for a bit with leg based offence but Natalya takes over with power stuff. This is rather boring if you couldn’t tell. Michelle accidently drills Layla and Natalya gets a rollup for two. Sharpshooter goes on, is countered into a heel hook and is countered again. Then Layla throws in her shoe for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Yeah I don’t care either. The division was such a disaster at this point but unifying the titles was the smartest move all around. There just wasn’t a valid reason to have both belts around, especially when the talent pool was very deep. It would get better, but as usual it wasn’t going to last.

Michelle would be in a battle royal on Raw, December 13, 2010.

Battle Royal

Laycool, Kelly, Maryse, Eve, Bella Twins, Rose, Melina, Alicia, Kaitlyn, Beth, Tamina, Natalya

I think that’s everyone but I’m not sure. Everyone surrounds Laycool and to their credit they’re like BRING IT ON. Tamina chills in the corner for a bit but puts out Kaitlyn. You can go through the ropes here. Rosa is out second. She has never won a match on the main roster. Tamina is out.

A Bella is out as they’re flying out of here insanely fast. The other Bella goes out with ease as Laycool is dominating. Maryse is gone. There’s no particular rhyme or reason here as you would expect in a battle royal. Michelle, looking GREAT in those red shorts, puts out Kelly who looks GREAT in those white shorts. Beth Glam Slams Melina out.

Down to Laycool, Beth, Natalya, Gail and Alicia. Beth kicks Layla out and she FREAKS. She distracts the Glamazon long enough to let Michelle put out Beth. Natalya puts out Alicia and Gail and walks into a big kick from Michelle who wins this at approximately 3:30.

Rating: C. This is hard to grade as battle royals aren’t something that there are standards for. This was fine for what it was and one of the girls that should have won it got the award so I can’t complain. Also you have hot women so how much can you really complain? Good stuff.

Time for a gimmick match at TLC 2010.

Beth Phoenix/Natalya vs. Laycool

Tables match. Quick recap video which is of the table on Friday which didn’t work. No tagging here thank goodness. The pink table with the painting from Friday is brought in as Laycool is down early. Crowd is QUIET here. Lawler says he’s never seen a Diva go through a table. That’s just amusing. Double fireman’s carry by Beth is very impressive. Striker makes an important point: any method of going through the table counts. Also it’s only one Diva required for a win.

Laycool in control now as the fans do not care at all. Beth is on the floor now as Laycool takes over. SICK landing by Beth as her foot gets hooked on a rope and she lands straight on her back/head. That was painful as heck, it had to be. Michelle sets for a Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) through a table on Nattie but Beth comes back for the save.

Not table for Michelle (“JUST WAIT UNTIL MARK HEARS ABOUT THIS!!!”) as Layla rakes Beth’s eyes. Layla beats on Beth for awhile but can’t suplex her through it. Double gorilla press by the blondes to Layla until Michelle kicks both in the ribs. Beth may have fallen out for a bit. HOKEY SMOKE!!! Natalya puts Layla on top of Michelle and puts them BOTH in a Sharpshooter at the same time. TAKE THAT BRET!!!

At the start of 2011, Laycool was still hanging out with Vickie Guerrero, who was with Dolph Ziggler. Vickie wanted Dolph to become World Heavyweight Champion, so she made this match on Smackdown, February 4, 2011.

Smackdown World Title: Kelly Kelly/Edge vs. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler

Is there a reason why the initials on Dolph’s tights are backwards? Layla gets a head scissors choke on Kelly for a bit. Kelly fights back and it’s an X-Factor to break the momentum. The referee misses the tag to Edge allows Layla to beat on Kelly a bit more. Edge goes after Ziggler anyway but Michelle misses a big kick to Layla. Edge is ready for the tag but instead Kelly spears Layla to retain the world title at 6:50 shown of 10:20.

Here’s one of Laycool’s final matches together as the problems are mounting up. From Wrestlemania XXVII.

John Morrison/Snooki/Trish Stratus vs. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler

Barely any story here as it’s just there to give us Snooki, which is supposed to mean something. Vickie is with Laycool here because she’s already screwing Dolph at this point. Trish is STUNNING as a brunette here too. Laycool attacks to start and the guys get involved as well. Michelle shoves Layla to start so Trish comes in and beats Michelle up. The Matrish is broken up with a stomp but Trish escapes the Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) with a facebuster.

Michelle and Stratus slug it out on the top before falling to the floor at the same time. Layla tries to interfere and gets decked as well, only to have Trish dive off the apron and take both of them out. The Chick Kick gets two on Michelle as the guys come in sans tags. Starship Pain to the floor takes Ziggy out and there’s the tag to Snooki for a handspring elbow to Michelle. That and a splash are good for the pin.

Rating: D+. Trish and Laycool looked hot, Snooki did her two moves decently enough, the guys did almost nothing at all and Vickie was kept to a minimum in the less than three and a half minutes this ran. For a match that short with Trish looking that good, how much can you really complain here? Laycool would be split in a month with Michelle leaving the company.

We’ll wrap it up with Michelle’s last match in WWE, from Extreme Rules 2011.

Michelle McCool vs. Layla

More or less a street fight here and the loser leaves WWE. Michelle wisely jumps Layla during her lay on the rope entrance. Out to the floor as this is another intense brawl. A shot into the table gets two for Michelle. Big boot misses and here comes Layla. Belly to belly gets two for Michelle as we hit the floor again.

They fight on the barrier of all things with Michelle taking over. DIAMOND DUST gets two for Layla as they come back in. Faithbreaker is countered into the Layout for two. Michelle counters a jackknife cover into a Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) but can’t cover immediately. Layla counters the cover into a rollup/crucifix pin to get rid of Michelle.

Rating: C+. I liked this again. The Divas can do pretty well if they’re given the proper amount of time. Layla winning here is probably due to Michelle leaving soon if not tonight apparently which is fine. Definitely one of the better matches with the females in awhile as this worked fine. Layle is getting a lot better every time she gets in there, which is definitely a good sign.

Layla cries as she leaves.

Michelle gets the goodbye song treatment but Kharma (Awesome Kong) debuts. Implant Buster kills Michelle dead with ease. All of the Divas are freaked out. Beth is made to look the most prominent here.

Michelle McCool is a woman with a very simple formula: tall, blonde, good looking, small outfits, passable in the ring. She gets a lot of the HHH treatment as people say it’s just because of her spouse but Michelle was good long before then. The Laycool team was a perfect fit for her and I had fun watching her. She and Layla carried the Divas division for a long time and they made it work better than anyone in the years around their time.

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Wrestler of the Day – August 19: Kaitlyn

Time for a rather funny Diva in Kaitlyn.

Kaitlyn would spend a little time in FCW before debuting on the third season of NXT as the rookie of pro Vickie Guerrero. Here’s her first match from September 14, 2010.

Primo/AJ vs. Kaitlyn/Dolph Ziggler

The boys start us off which lasts about 20 seconds. AJ used to be homeless and according to Cole she’ll be homeless again in about three weeks. Cross body by AJ for one before Kaitlyn takes her head off and tags out. Men vs. women is illegal here but we get it for a second anyway. AJ can’t get by Dolph so she slaps him in the face.

Again I would often advise that as a solution to a problem: when all else fails just HIT THEM IN THE FACE. Primo comes in and has about 20 seconds of offense, cementing his jobber status before the Zig Zag ends it. Kaitlyn and Dolph celebrate, making Vickie jealous.

Rating: D+. Really more about storyline tension between Kaitlyn and Vickie rather than the wrestling. Given the short amount of time in the season this time they needed to get things moving and this is probably the highlight of the angles. It’s not much but it’s probably the best they’re going to get and if it gets Ziggler on his own I couldn’t be happier. Ok I could but you get the idea.

Here’s a six Divas tag from November 30, 2010.

Naomi vs. Kaitlyn

Let’s get this over with. I’m having some connection issues so the times might be off a bit. Kaitlyn busts out a giant swing as Matthews says DOZENS are tuning into WWE.Com for this. Gah my stream keeps freezing. Kaitlyn is in control because that’s the most illogical thing we could have. Cole apologizes to Harley Race for forgetting him last night in former kings.

The pros don’t seem interested. Kaitlyn throws her over the top and we get like a 7. My screen is frozen so I’m doing what I can to keep up with this. Cole isn’t really helping but he’s making me laugh at least. Cole gets in a great line on a cover by shouting: “if you shout faster it’ll be over!” So true good sir, so true. Kaitlyn blocks a suplex into a rollup and gets the pin. Well of course she did. No clue on the time due to the freezing.

Rating: N/A. With all the choppiness and the freezing I can’t really give a fair grade of it but it didn’t seem all that good from what I could tell and the crowd definitely wasn’t into it. Seemed to be about a D. Oh and of course Kaitlyn wins because she has no experience and isn’t the wrestler of the final two so Naomi has lost at least two in a row.

Kaitlyn would win the season of NXT and debut on the WWE roster (along with multiple other Divas). Here’s a main roster match on Smackdown, January 28, 2011.

Laycool vs. Kaitlyn/Kelly Kelly

Striker sings Laycool’s song which is rather disturbing. The non-Flawless ones jump Laycool during their entrance and the beating is on in the aisle. Is this Kaitlyn’s non-NXT debut? She starts with Michelle and is clearly green. Layla distracts Kaitlyn though and Michelle kicks Kaitlyn’s head off to end this at 43 seconds. AWESOME kick and if that hadn’t ended it there was no way I would have believed it. The replay makes it look even better as that kick was spot on.

From Raw on June 13, 2011 in the required mess.

Tamina/Alicia Fox/Rosa Mendes/Maryse/Bella Twins/Melina vs. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Gail Kim/Natalya/Beth Phoenix/AJ/Kaitlyn

If this goes past two minutes I’ll be stunned. Kelly and Brie start but it’s off to Melina or Rosa and there’s the big brawl almost immediately. Kelly hits the K2 on Rosa and we’re done at 1:25. Three out of the fourteen were actually legal.

We’ll go to another country now for NXT on October 19, 2011.

Kaitlyn vs. Maxine

Both of them look good but Kaitlyn looks better with darker hair. She has great legs though. Maxine is in essence in a swimsuit. Here’s your Maxine fact: her aunt is a careless maiden from Guadalajara who is engaged to a one legged Elvis impersonator who does a great version of Blue Suede Shoes. The match is your usual basic stuff here that isn’t very good.

Maxine hooks something like a dragon sleeper but Kaitlyn falls into the ropes. The fans here do not care at all. All Maxine so far but I’d rather look at Kaitlyn in gold so I’m not paying attention to the match here. Kaitlyn takes over with her horrible looking offense. She hits a Bubba Bomb and then a full nelson with her legs to make Maxine tap (with her foot) out at 4:48.

Rating: D. It’s your usual bad Divas match and more proof that AJ was the best choice for the 3rd season winner. Kaitlyn looks great in tight gold shorts and other than that, she’s about as worthless as anyone else you’re going to find on the roster. Not much here overall and the girls just aren’t that good. Granted this is on NXT so it’s not like anyone is watching them.

Kaitlyn would be back for a guest spot on NXT Redemption, April 4, 2012.

Natalya vs. Kaitlyn

New music for Kaitlyn and Kidd is on commentary. Nattie takes her down and Kidd says there’s nothing going on with them. Bridging rollup gets two for Natalya. I think Natalya is a face here but I really have no idea. Kidd admits that he isn’t a Hart, which ticked him off when McGillicutty rubbed it in his face weeks ago. Natalya works on the arm and uses more holds on whatever part of the body she picks. Kaitlyn’s first offense is a cross body but Natalya laughs it off and the Sharpshooter gets the submission at 3:30.

Rating: C-. This was a squash for Natalya as she picked apart Kaitlyn with ease. I’m so glad they’ve dropped that idiotic gimmick she’s been using for the last few months as she’s very talented and can make even someone like Kaitlyn look good. I’m still not sure if she’s a face or a heel though, but I doubt WWE has put any thought into it either.

Back to the big shows with Smackdown on August 31, 2012.

Kaitlyn vs. Natalya

Eve is on commentary. Nattie takes her down with a headlock to start and the place is eerily quiet. Kaitlyn shoulder blocks her down and they head to the floor where Kaitlyn gets her head slammed into the floor. Natalya hooks an abdominal stretch and slaps Kaitlyn’s side which has to hurt bad. Kaitlyn comes back with some armdrags but Natalya clotheslines her down. The Canadian runs her mouth and gets small packaged for the pin at 2:45. Getting extra time is helping the Divas a tiny bit but this was more about Eve, who spent the whole match being the corporate suckup, which does nothing for me at all.

Kaitlyn would start going after the Divas Title, starting on Raw, October 8, 2012.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn

Layla is on commentary as she always is anymore. Apparently she gets the winner of this. Eve is champion coming in just in case it’s like 2031 or something. Kaitlyn takes over to start and suplexes Eve down a few times followed by a fireman’s carry into a kind of Torture Rack. Eve rakes the eyes and kicks out the bad ankle to take over. Kaitlyn hits a backbreaker but it hurts her ankle again. Eve goes after the ankle by standing on it before putting on a heel hook for the tap at 2:54. This wasn’t terrible at all.

Another title shot at Hell in a Cell 2012.

Divas Title: Layla vs. Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn

Kaitlyn was attacked at Night of Champions and Layla had to defend against Eve instead of Kaitlyn. Eve won the title and was accused of attacking Kaitlyn, setting up this. The challengers double team Eve, argue a bit, and then double team Eve again. Eve and Kaitlyn finally start fighting and we get a pinfall reversal sequence. Eve comes back in and knocks Layla to the floor so she can beat on Kaitlyn a bit.

Eve works over Kaitlyn’s leg with a long hold until Layla finally gets back in. A hard kick to Eve’s face slows her down and Layla pounds away in the corner. A cross body gets two for Layla but Eve throws her into the splits. Eve gets thrown into the splits as well and Kaitlyn gives us a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER!!! Kaitlyn puts Layla in a Fujiwara Armbar but Eve makes the save. The crowd dies as the match starts to drag. Kaitlyn hits Stratusfaction on Eve to send her to the floor and powerslams Eve down. Eve hits a middle rope Swanton to break up the pin and covers Layla to retain the title at 6:39.

Rating: C-. The girls are getting better and they have an actual story anymore, but the fans still don’t care. This is MILES better than they were having a few months ago, but at the same time it’s still nothing to write home about. Kaitlyn appears to be the future but I’m still not sold on her at all. Decent match that ran too long.

Kaitlyn would get another shot at Survivor Series 2012.

Divas Title: Katilyn vs. Eve Torres

Eve is defending. Kaitlyn jumps her to start and pounds away in the corner before sending Eve out to the floor. The champion is sent into the barricade and apron before heading back inside for some hair pulling. Eve kicks her in the ribs and slams Kaitlyn’s head into the mat over and over for two. Off to the corner for some choking and an elbow to the back gets two on Kaitlyn.

Eve puts on a figure four choke before clotheslining Kaitlyn down for no cover. Kaitlyn pops back up to break up the moonsault, sending Eve out to the floor. Back in and Eve is tossed around by the hair followed by a fireman’s carry gutbuster for two. Eve comes right back by sweeping Kaitlyn’s legs out and finishing her with a swinging neckbreaker.

Rating: D. As is the case with the Divas around this time, there isn’t much to brag about other than the girls looked good in their outfits. Kaitlyn just wasn’t that good in the ring and hasn’t gotten much better ever since. Eve was good but her character had hit a ceiling around this time. It’s no surprise she was gone soon after this.

One more shot in Kaitlyn’s hometown of Houston on Raw, January 14, 2013.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn

If Eve gets disqualified or counted out she loses the title. Kaitlyn sends her to the floor to start so the champ hides a bit. Kaitlyn is the hometown girl tonight so it’s pretty clear what’s going down here. Eve knocks her down and hits her running flip splash as we hear about Lamb Chop for no apparent reason. Off to a triangle choke from Eve but Kaitlyn makes a rope.

The reverse DDT gets two and Kaitlyn seemingly dives onto Eve’s knee. The spinning neckbreaker gets two for Kaitlyn so Eve pounds away a bit. Kaitlyn’s gutbuster hits but it sends Eve to the floor. The challenger follows her out and gets whipped into the barricade. Eve puts her over the barricade but Kaitlyn sneaks back in and spears Eve for the title at 5:35.

Rating: D+. This was better than any of their other matches but at the end of the day I have no reason to care about either of these girls anymore. Word on the street is that Eve is gone after this so I guess this is the passing of the torch. Am I supposed to care more now because Kaitlyn wins after not being able to win the title after like four tries? At least they finally did the freaking switch.

Time for a PPV title defense at Elimination Chamber 2013.

Divas Title: Tamina Snuka vs. Kaitlyn

Kaitlyn is defending and this match was set up on the WWE App on Monday. The crowd is silent for Kaitlyn’s entrance so we get a quick promo from her about how scary Tamina is. Tamina shoves Katilyn around a bit to start but gets caught in a rollup for two. A backslide gets two more for the champ and Tamina is knocked to the floor. The other Divas are watching in the back. Kaitlyn goes to the apron, only to be rammed into the buckle and knocked out to the floor. Back in and a Samoan drop puts Kaitlyn down but the Superfly Splash misses. Kaitlyn spears her down to retain at 3:15.

Rating: D+. Did we really need this? No? I didn’t think so either. When your match is set up on the WWE App, it’s pretty clear that it’s not needed on the card. For about two weeks there were no Divas mentioned anywhere on WWE TV and it was a very nice break. Why did they need to come back again?

And another at NXT Clash of the Champions.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Kaitlyn

Kaitlyn is defending. The fans chant YES at AJ before we get going. Kaitlyn runs her down to start but Kaitlyn shoves her into the corner to take over. Off to a Fujiwara Armbar by the challenger and she even throws in a Dolph Ziggler handstand. A hammerlock suplex puts Kiatlyn down and AJ is in full control. Kaitlyn gets in some right hands before rolling through a top rope cross body for two. A reverse DDT gets two on AJ but she sends Kaitlyn to the floor for an eight count. Back in and AJ puts on a sleeper followed by an enziguri for two. Kaitlyn pops up and spears AJ out of nowhere to retain at 5:06.

Rating: D. Again, the WWE Divas show that they have nothing on the NXT girls. I have no idea what the appeal of Kaitlyn is as her two moves are both terrible and she can’t work a match to save her life. AJ was fine with the Ziggler impersonations being a nice touch. Anything from Kaitlyn was just dreadful though.

Kaitlyn would be in a six Divas tag on Raw, June 3, 2013.

Kaitlyn/Funkadactyls vs. AJ Lee/Bella Twins

Kaitlyn and AJ start things off. AJ backs into the corner and elbows both dancing chicks before bringing in Brie. Off to Naomi for the Rear View and a rolling senton from Cameron for two. Naomi hits the ropes with a crossbody and the Bellas take over on her arm. Nikki stays on the arm until Naomi slugs her down and brings in Kaitlyn. The reverse DDT only gets one on Nikki but AJ drops to the floor instead of tagging. The spear finishes Nikki at 4:32.

Rating: C-. That’s on the Divas scale so this wasn’t half bad at all. The arm work went nowhere but when is the last time you remember psychology in a Divas match? They’re to the point where they can get through a match without looking completely horrible which is at least progress. The camera shots of the girls didn’t hurt either.

AJ Lee would take the title from Kaitlyn, triggering a long feud between them. Here they are on Raw, July 29, 2013.

Kaitlyn vs. AJ Lee

Non-title. AJ takes over to start and has that insane look on her face the entire time. Katilyn throws her off and loads up the spear but a running knee to the head puts her back down. An armbar doesn’t get AJ anywhere as Kaitlyn comes back with a backbreaker. AJ comes back with another armbar as we hear about Tweets from Vickie. Kaitlyn fights up and hits the spear out of nowhere for the pin at 4:51.

Rating: D. You remember those matches between these two that had a ton of heat and were awesome? This is the total opposite at it was just there to fill in a few minutes and set up yet another rematch. They took out all the good parts of this feud and turned it into the same exact thing that plagued the division for years.

One last match from Raw, December 30, 2013.

Total Divas vs. True Divas

It’s the Bellas/Funkadactyls/Eva Marie vs. Rosa Mendes/Summer Rae/Alicia Fox/Kaitlyn/Aksana. Eva and Kaitlyn get things going with Eva elbowing her in the face and blowing kisses to the crowd. Kaitlyn is staggered by a kick to the chest but none of the other Total Divas want to deal with Eva. Eva finally tags Cameron in but Alicia makes a blind tag and cleans house.

Summer Rae and Rosa (dressed almost identically) take turns stomping on Cameron in the corner before it’s off to Aksana for some choking. Cameron finally crawls over for a tag to Nikki who puts Aksana in the rack (get it?). Everything breaks down and Aksana hits a reverse Eye of the Hurricane for the pin on Nikki at 5:10.

Rating: D-. Yeah it sucked, but it was a bunch of good looking women in tiny outfits. That’s more than the Tribute to the Troops show managed to pull off. They need to figure out where this division is going though because it’s getting even worse. From what I can find, that’s Aksana’s first pin on TV in nearly two years.

Kaitlyn is a case of someone trying to be different than most Divas and succeeding to a degree. She was gorgeous and looked great in the outfits but that was rarely her focus. If nothing else she could spear AJ in half and make it look better every single time. She didn’t really stand out but her stuff worked when she had a decent opponent.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestler of the Day – August 5: Mickie James

Today we’ll look at someone a bit better looking than Raven: Mickie James.

Mickie got started under the name Alexis Laree in 1999. She was mainly a manager but also wrestled at times. We’ll pick things up with an indy company called Southern Championship Wrestling on June 28, 2001.

Alexis Laree vs. Persephone

I’ve never heard of Persephone. Alexis has a title here and is rocking (?) some spiked shoulder pads ala the Legion of Doom. She stalls to start for awhile and Persephone is clearly the favorite. Laree jumps her and they slug it out with the champion getting the better of it. Persephone gets two off a rollup and two more off a fisherman’s suplex. A low blow has no effect on Persephone so Alexis kicks her in the back a few times.

Laree goes outside for no apparent reason and gets caught with a baseball slide to the back. They chop it out on the floor with Persephone getting the better of it, only to have Alexis take over back inside. Some other chick comes out and pulls Alexis to the floor for a beating and I’m assuming that’s a DQ.

Rating: D+. They weren’t all that good yet but it was clear that they were needing ring time more than anything else. The match wasn’t terrible but it was smart to cut it as short as they did. Persephone was pretty much a Lita knockoff with blonde hair, but to be fair Lita was the most popular Diva in like forever at this point.

Laree would head to TNA where she would appear on Weekly PPV #38 on April 2, 2003.

Trinity vs. Alexis Laree

Trinity takes her into the corner to start but Alexis grabs a wristlock. That gets her taken down into an armbar and a headscissors sends Alexis outside. Back in and Laree takes over with kicks to the back followed by a basement dropkick for two. Trinity gets thrown outside and the camera makes sure to get in position behind her. Back in and Trinity kicks her in the face but takes WAY too long going up. Trinity is able to shove her down but misses the moonsault. This brings out Raven to sit in the corner, but Trinity kicks Alexis in the face and hits a standing shooting star for the pin.

Rating: D+. Trinity is an old favorite of mine as she was always in great shape and had the awesome looking long black hair. Oh and she could hit a great moonsault. Anyway, this was back when the division was just past Bruce being the women’s champion so these two were a breath of fresh air. Alexis got WAY better since 2001.

Off to OVW, where Alexis was actually in a TV Title tournament. She beat Mike Mondo in the first round, setting up this second round match. From OVW TV on May 28, 2005.

TV Title Tournament Second Round: Bobby Lashley vs. Alexis Laree

Lashley gives her the chance to walk out before the match but one of his managers named Miss Blue offers to take his place. They get in a catfight in the ring until Lashley pulls Alexis off. The bell rings and it’s a powerslam to give Lashley the pin. Yes this was just a novelty to fill in a spot.

Alexis would start going by her real name of Mickie James and debut in WWE in late 2005. She started as a lesbian stalker of Trish Stratus, setting up an eventual showdown at Wrestlemania XXII.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

Mickie is challenging and has those awesome skirts that go all over the place. Trish is looking great too with the usual attire but showing her stomach as well. Trish is all aggressive here and chops Mickie down into the splits. They head to the floor but the Chick Kick hits the post. Mickie wraps the leg around the post and is still looking very psycho. Back in and a dropkick to the knee takes Trish down again, as does a dragon screw leg whip for two.

The fans chant for Mickie and I can’t say I blame them. Mickie wraps the leg around the ropes before driving it down into the mat for good measure. Off to a half crab followed by a knee crank but Trish power up and hooks a spinning headscissors to put James down. Trish comes back with the forearms and a spinebuster of all things for two. Trish’s corner splash hits feet but as Mickie goes up, Stratus tries the Stratusphere but gets slammed down for a sexy two. A rana is countered into a powerbomb for two and Trish is TICKED.

Trish tries the Matrish but the knee gives out. Instead she tries Stratusfaction but Mickie gropes Trish’s crotch to break it up. It’s exactly what it sounds like. Mickie licks her fingers so Trish DRILLS HER with a forearm. Trish keeps firing away but the knee gives out, and then the match falls off the rails. Mickie tries the Stratusfaction but COMPLETELY misses the rope, making it almost look like a botched atomic drop by Trish. Instead Mickie hits a lame Chick Kick to end Trish’s reign. JR sums it up perfectly: “The nutjob won the title!”

Rating: B-. This was one of the best Divas matches ever but the ending cripples it. The idea here was that it wasn’t a women’s match but rather a match featuring women in it. These two were beating each other up and Trish had real emotion out there. Mickie was PERFECT for this character and you really felt like she had a screw loose. The sexuality was there but it wasn’t the focus which is nice for a change. It’s nice to see a real story and a real fight between two people who happen to be gorgeous women. Good stuff here.

We’ll jump ahead to Mickie challenging for the title again at Survivor Series 2006.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Mickie James

Lita is defending and this is her retirement match. I miss Mickie with those skirts that keep flying up. Lita slaps Mickie in the face to start, causing Mickie to choke away in the corner. The champ comes back by literally throwing Mickie around which is a bit less than what you would expect from someone as talented as Lita. Mickie goes up and gets slammed off the top as this is one sided so far.

A quick snap suplex gets two for Lita as this continues to be slow. I can’t at all complain about the upskirt shots of Mickie though. Off to a sleeper by Lita which is the last thing this match needed. Mickie gets in the ropes and avoids a charge in the corner. She goes up and is immediately suplexed down for two. Now the fans think Lita has herpes.

Mickie hits a SWEET spinning kick to take Lita’s head off followed by a fisherman’s suplex for two (and a GREAT crotch shot of Mickie). Moonsault gets two for Lita but the Edgecution is countered, giving Mickie two. They trade rollups and Mickie hits the jumping DDT to retire Lita and win the title.

Rating: D. Most of that is for getting great views of Mickie and Lita’s rocking cleavage. Other than that, this was some pretty uninspired stuff. Lita left when she should have as she had nothing left to accomplish and no one like Trish to work with. Pretty terrible match here but it passed the torch to Mickie who was indeed the future of the division.

Since this is the Divas division, we have to jump around a lot and go from title match to title match. Here’s another match from Backlash 2007.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Mickie James

Melina is defending. Mickie is getting her return match here and is looking very bouncy tonight. They head to the mat to start with Mickie hitting a monkey flip for one. Off to a headlock by the challenger which is reversed into one by Melina. Mickie escapes that with ease so Melina pounds away as she can’t win a wrestling match here. Mickie mounts her (lucky) and pounds away as well.

James goes up top but gets sent out to the floor to give Melina control. She chokes Mickie in the ropes and then hooks a full nelson with her legs. Now it’s a choke in the corner but Mickie escapes. And never mind as Melina comes off with a seated senton to take over again immediately. That gets two so Mickie tries her spin kick. That fails also as Melina counters, sending Mickie down into the splits. James hooks Melina’s legs and they slug it out with both girls in a splits position.

Mickie makes her comeback with forearms and hair tosses. She’s very fired up here and it looks like a good comeback instead of the usual lame Divas offense. Mickie’s rana out of the corner is countered as Melina sends her to the apron. She pops back up and hits a top rope cross body for two. Back to the corner and Melina hits a kick to the head followed by a reverse DDT to retain.

Rating: C+. This was one of the best Divas match I’ve seen in YEARS. Mickie was awesome as was Melina, but most importantly of all: this was treated like a match between two women, rather than a Divas match if that makes sense. The match wasn’t treated like anything different, which is the best thing they could do with the Divas anymore. Also it got time, which helped a lot.

We’ll jump ahead a good bit to Judgment Day 2008 for a match with probably Mickie’s biggest rival.

Raw Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Melina vs. Mickie James

Mickie is champion. So we’re like an hour and 10 minutes into this show and the Smackdown guys haven’t called a single thing. Gotta love the treatment of the B show. Beth and Melina argued about the title shot and we see why Beth doesn’t talk like ever. Mickie is still all bubbly and hot at this point. Not that she’s not hot now but you get this idea. THIS somehow gets big match intros. Wow indeed.

Beth tells Melina to get out of her ring so Melina drills her with a kick. Mickie grabs a victory roll for two on Melina and it’s one on one for awhile. Beth pulls her out and it’s challenger vs. challenger. Yeah I don’t care either but you have three hot chicks out there so how much can I complain?

Mickie back in now and we get some nifty triple person spots. James throws on something like a Tazmission on Beth which goes nowhere. Regal Cutter to Melina allows Mickie to go up, only to get….uh…..pussied by Melina. They speed things up a bit and Mickie gets a top rope Thesz Press to Beth followed by a HARD seated dropkick. In your HOLY CRAP spot of the night, Beth puts them both in an over the shoulder body vice for about 12 seconds. Mickie gets the jumping DDT to Melina quickly after that to retain but dude, WHO CARES? I’m still getting over that body vice move which was insanely awesome.

Rating: C+. Better Divas match than usual actually as all three chicks were working hard out there and the result was rather good stuff. When Melina is the ugliest chick out there you can’t really go wrong. With an awesome spot like that and a pretty good match other than that, this was one of the better Diva matches I’ve seen in awhile.

Off to Raw on September 8, 2008 for a required six Divas tag.

Jillian Hall/Katie Lea Burchill/Beth Phoenix vs. Mickie James/Candice Michelle, Kelly Kelly

The Divas were much hotter in 2008. Beth is Women’s Champion and says she’s a great champion, which is a message to Orton. She says no one can challenge her which draws out Candice to be the mystery partner or something. Kelly vs. Katie to start with Kelly proving why she should stick to looking good, which she is in a bikini and chaps.

Off to Mickie and Jillian with Mickie getting caught in the heel corner. Beth comes in for a slingshot suplex for two. A neckbreaker lets Mickie tag in Candice, who just wasn’t that good. She cleans house and goes up in the heel corner for a cross body. Beth rolls through but Candice rolls into an ugly small package for the pin.

Rating: D+. Candice brought this WAY down. She was botching everything she tried and really messed up the match. They tried really hard to make her into the big deal of the division and it never quite worked. On another note, the Divas looked WAY better back then and could work better matches too. Such a shame.

Mickie would go after the newly created Divas Title at Night of Champions 2009.

Raw Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Maryse

Make it quick please. Yeah as looks go, Mickie is way ahead of Maryse. The fans want puppies. And people wonder why this division is never taken seriously. The match is your standard slapfest of course. Maryse tries to use her perfume or whatever but gets stopped.

We’re in our second rest hold six minutes into the match. This just isn’t interesting at all. Cole almost says the name of the wrong title. There is simply no need to have two belts. If you had just one it could potentially work. Mickie hits her jumping DDT to get the title to next to no reaction.

Rating: D. People don’t care about women’s wrestling and that’s really all there is to it. It’s not nice but it’s true. This just wasn’t interesting at all. The buildup was Mickie has beaten the jobbers this month so she gets the title shot because she’s on a roll. That’s it. I’m looking forward to Michelle vs. Mickie as there’s an actual story to it. This didn’t and it was painfully obvious.

Mickie would get into a controversial feud with Laycool over Mickie’s weight, which is practically not there. Here’s their showdown at Royal Rumble 2010.

Women’s Title: Michelle McCool vs. Mickie James

Pre match Michelle runs her mouth about how fat Mickie is and accuses her of skipping out on the match. Michelle offers cake and here’s Layla in a Mickie Pig costume. The real Mickie sprints to the ring and hits a Thesz Press on Layla on the floor. She heads inside, sends Michelle into Layla and hits the MickieDT for the pin and the title in 20 seconds.

It was off to TNA after this with Mickie with one of her first major matches at Against All Odds 2011.

Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James

Madison’s song is irritating as all goodness. Mickie is dressed like Pocahontas for some reason. She’s sent into the steps and the count is on. Remember that you have to answer a ten count or you lose. They fight up the ramp a bit with Madison in control. Mickie gets in a shot to send Madison into the post for about five. Taz tries to take a shot at the Divas and it doesn’t work that well.

Mickie gets a kick in and clotheslines Madison using the rope to send her to the floor for seven. Cross body off the apron by Mickie puts both girls down. She tries to get the loaded glove off but can’t quite get there. And now we have a shot of the empty ring as the girls are under the ring. Madison comes out as you can hear the crowd talking. Ah there’s Mickie.

She morphs into karate action Mickie to put Madison down with a series of kicks. And then with Madison down Mickie picks her up like a moron. Back in the ring Mickie goes up and gets shoved off to the floor. That gets a long nine which probably should have been ten. Madison loads up the glove but Mickie gets a shot to the arm.

Thesz Press off the top puts Madison down for two. Spinning kick puts the champion down again and Mickie steals the glove. At about 8 Tara (called Victoria by Tazz) comes out to break it up. Madison pulls brass knucks out of her boot and drills Mickie to keep the freaking title. Oh dang it just give Mickie her title already!

Rating: C+. Decent match here but the ending was just stupid. There is ZERO justification to keep the title on Madison here and yet they’re just going to keep on doing it. Well sure why not. It’s not like no one cares about her or she’s nothing special in the ring or her gimmick is boring. Good match, bad decision at the end.

Mickie would put her hair on the line for a chance at the Knockouts Title at Lockdown 2011.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

Mickie’s shoulder is taped and Madison can’t get her tiara off. At least the girls both look great. Mickie jumps Madison as the bell rings and sends her into the cage three times within the first twenty seconds. Jumping DDT and we’re done in 30 seconds.

We’ll jump to TV for a bit with Impact, September 1, 2011.

Knockouts Title: Winter vs. Mickie James

Mickie goes nuts on her to start and grabs a rollup for two. Angelina tries to throw the belt in and gets ejected. Mickie grabs a half crab and Tazz says it’s very hard to get out of. Less than 3 seconds later Winter grabs the rope and is out of it. Great analysis there Brooklyn dude. Mickie has dominated most of this. The jumping DDT is avoided and both grab the other by the hair and slam them into the mat.

Winter tries that spinning slam but Mickie gets some elbows in and a rollup gets two for each chick. A slow jumping DDT hits for Mickie but Winter gets her foot under the ropes. I’m really glad that wasn’t the ending as it would have looked bad. Enziguri puts Mickie down for two. Winter tries to choke Mickie with something but Hebner makes the save. Mickie kicks Winter upside her head and gets the title back at 6:00.

Rating: D+. This got sloppy in some places like Mickie intentionally having to cover Winter weird so she could get the foot on the ropes. I cannot stand stuff like that because it looks so fake and totally takes the drama out of a near fall. I also don’t get the point in putting the title right back on Mickie after Winter had it for just a few weeks but since this is TNA, I’m sure the answer is “GIVE IT MORE TIME.”

Another one from January 19, 2012.

Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

Mickie starts fast and rams her into the buckle to start. Powerbomb out of the corner hits and we’re officially longer than the Lockdown match from last year. Seated dropkick gets a delayed two. Mickie hooks something like a choke and Madison is in trouble. Madison escapes and hits a HARD kick to take over. That sounded great. Mickie reverses a whip and we take a break.

Back with Mickie in control again. This has been pretty one sided so far. Mickie takes her down and nips up but Madison sends her into the cage to take over. Madison humps the mat with Mickie’s head between her legs. Somehow that’s a lot less hot than you would expect. Off to the chinlock. Madison has a little American flag patch on her shorts. Not sure why but it looks good there.

Mickie fights up and a neckbreaker from James puts both of them down. They slug it out, won by Mickie. A flying forearm and clothesline put Madison down. Another flapjack attempt is countered and a boot gets two for Rayne. And then Mickie rams her into the cage a few times and the jumping DDT gets the pin at 12:23.

Rating: C. Not bad here but nothing classic. It’s so much better in this division than the Divas, and a lot of that is due to the time. The Divas matches get annoying because they’re just there and gone so fast that they don’t mean anything. The Knockouts don’t have masterpieces but they have matches, which is a big step in the right direction.

Mickie would go after the title again because there aren’t many stories with the Knockouts. From Final Resolution 2012.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Tara

They fight over wrist/arm control to start as the announcers talk about Tara being in her city’s athletics hall of fame. This turns into a discussion of USC football as Tara wants to kiss Jesse a bit. Mickie gets a rollup and northern lights for a pair of two counts and there’s the rana to put Tara down again. Tara gets sent into Jesse but the distraction lets Tara get in a kick to the face to take over.

Back in and Tara hooks Mickie in an over the shoulder hair pull. Why she doesn’t just hit the Widow’s Peak from there is anyone’s guess. Mickie gets a rollup for two but Jesse has the referee’s attention. The spinning sidewalk slam gets two for Tara and it’s off to a body vice for the champ. Mickie makes her comeback with a lot of kicks (a running theme tonight) and gets two off an enziguri. Tara is thrown onto Jesse again, so Mickie hits a Thesz Press off the top to the floor to take Tara out again. Jesse gets kicked in the face, but the distraction lets Tara hit the Widow’s Peak to retain at 7:51.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but again, we need new blood in the division. Not blood that hasn’t been around for awhile, but new blood in general. Jesse was the focus of this match which isn’t a good thing, but Mickie vs. Tara is such a played pairing that you can only care about it so much after this many matches.

We’ll wrap it up with Mickie’s last title win on Impact, May 23, 2013.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Velvet Sky

Velvet is defending and has a bad knee coming in. Mickie takes it down to the mat to start and cranks on the arm, only to have Velvet hit a fast dropkick for two. They slug it out until Mickie hits something like a swinging Bubba Bomb before hooking a full nelson as we take a break. Back with Velvet down and being put in a chinlock, only to fight up with an armdrag. Velvet fires off some clotheslines but her knee is giving out again. A headscissors gets the champion nowhere and I think they screw up a sequence setting up a Russian legsweep.

The second attempt works a bit better but Velvet is sent into the corner for a kick to the ribs. Now the headscissors works for Sky but her knee gives out after Mickie is down. A hard chop block takes Velvet down and Mickie has that evil look on her face for the first time in way too long. The MickieDT is enough for the pin and the title at 8:47.

Rating: D+. Mickie and Velvet both looked GREAT out there in their outfits, but the match was so sloppy that it was dragging things down. Velvet continues to look just a step above lost in the ring and Mickie can only do so much with her. Mickie seemingly turning heel here is a good thing though as she can play the psycho villain very well. The match wasn’t much though.

Mickie James was the successor to Trish and Lita and she held that up very well. The problem is she didn’t have the best crop of talent to work with her and it caused some issues. That being said, she can have a great match with the right opponent. The fact that she’s absolutely gorgeous didn’t hurt either.

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