IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2006
Date: August 20, 2006
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 16,168
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Joey Styles, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is an interesting show as a lot has changed since last year but WWE is still in the same kind of situation: the shows are coming and going and not a lot is changing. The shows aren’t bad, but there’s nothing that feels like required viewing. This year we have DX vs. the McMahons, Edge defending the Raw Title against Cena, Batista challenging King Booker for the Smackdown Title, Flair vs. Foley in an I Quit match, Hogan vs. Randy Orton and the first ECW Title match in WWE PPV history. The card is stacked but nothing on here feels must see. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about DX taking over the company with their sophomoric jokes. The other matches get some lip service as well.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Guerrero claimed that Rey was leeching off the Guerrero name, which he totally was but Guerrero is still playing the heel here. We get videos on Eddie’s relationships with both Rey and Chavo, conveniently ignoring Rey vs. Eddie from last year. Apparently Chavo is coming out of retirement for one night only. The brawl is on fast and JBL is WAY into it already. Chavo hits a quick uppercut and catches a standing Lionsault into a powerslam position, only to have Rey armdrag him out to the floor.

Mysterio misses a plancha to the floor and Chavo hits a big dive of his own to take over. Chavo shouts that it’s his blood instead of Rey’s as JBL calls this the biggest comeback since the resurrection. Rey charges into the corner but Chavo drops him face first onto the buckle to put him down again. Chavo does the Eddie dance, drawing the crowd into the Eddie chant. The masked dude is knocked to the floor and then face first into the buckle to keep him on defense.

Chavo puts him on the top rope and tries to powerbomb Rey to the floor but Rey fights out to avoid death. They facejam each other down to the mat and both guys are in trouble. Back up and Rey gets two off a springboard cross body. A hard kick to the head gets the same for Rey before he hurricanranas Chavo into the 619. The seated senton misses and Mysterio hurricanranas both guys out to the floor.

Chavo takes control and sends Rey back in but here’s Vickie to yell at him. Rey dives off the apron with something the camera misses to take out Chavo and we head back inside. Chavo hits two of the Three Amigos as Vickie is screeching at them to stop fighting. Rey hits the Three Amigos and goes up top but Vickie keeps shouting at him to stop before accidentally crotching him down. Chavo hits a brainbuster and the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C+. The match was entertaining enough but the bleeding dry of Eddie’s corpse is well beyond old here. Seriously, they were fighting over who was really defending Eddie’s honor. It was fun stuff but the Vickie screeching is getting already getting annoying. She’s been around seven years. How is that possible?

Booker is holding the title with a maniacal look in his eyes. He rants in a British accent for a bit and says he and Sharmell are the most powerful couple in wrestling. This brings in Edge and Lita who just happened to be standing off camera when Booker said that. They debate how important they are and make a wager: if Booker loses he has to be Edge’s servant but if Edge loses he has to kiss Booker’s feet.

This is a good example of what I mean when I talk about the show looking too structured. Why were Edge and Lita right there to respond to those comments? It comes off as so fake and set up in advance that it kills whatever air of realism the show has. Have Booker say they’re the powerful couple, then have Edge and Lita come in later in the show. Same amount of time spent, same result, doesn’t look forced. Why is this so complicated?

ECW Title: Big Show vs. Sabu

Big Show is defending after Sabu beat Van Dam in a ladder match this past week. It’s extreme rules, which is a rarity for these title matches anymore. Sabu starts fast by swinging a chair and gets a quick one count off the Arabian Facebuster. The chair is set up in the middle of the ring but Big Show drops Sabu face first onto the steel. Big Show crushes the chair with his boot and chops Sabu down with ease.

We hit an early bearhug but Sabu pokes the eyes to escape. A springboard is caught in a fallaway slam from Big Show to send Sabu to the outside. The small one grabs a chair to blast Show in the face before dropkicking it into Show’s face. Sabu it too banged up to immediately cover so it’s only a one count. With nothing else working, Sabu loads up a table in the corner and hits a tornado DDT for no cover.

Sabu finally knocks him through the table off a springboard from the chair but Show pops up and electric chairs Sabu down. A Vader Bomb crushes Sabu and Show brings in two sets of steps. He bridges a table across them but his chokeslam is countered into a DDT through the table. Sabu sets up another table but charges into a chokeslam through it for the pin.

Rating: D. I don’t care. Seriously that’s the first thing that came to my head. This was less than nine minutes and the ending was never in double at all. At least a third of the match was spent setting up the next spot, especially near the end. The early days of WWECW with the old ECW guys were just torture to get through as it was clearly trying to recreate magic and it wasn’t anything of note. Dull match here and it would be several months before ECW picked up.

Layla won the Diva Search earlier this week.

The Divas welcome Layla to the company. These stupid girl power segments got old fast. Everyone gets on her and then say they’re all kidding. Layla is dragged into the shower and spanked for her initiation. Everyone is clothed so this goes nowhere.

We recap Hogan vs. Orton. Hogan is a legend, Orton is the legend killer, I think you can do the math. There was a stupid bit with Orton hitting on Brooke thrown in which went nowhere.

Randy Orton vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan has a bad leg coming in, meaning he’s perfectly normal. Hulk easily shoves Orton down out of lockup to start before running him down with a shoulder block. The bandana goes into Orton’s face before Randy grabs a headlock. Hogan fights out with a top wristlock as we’re still going very slowly so far, much to Hogan’s liking. Randy finally gets in some shots to the face to put Hogan down, thereby making him the biggest heel in the world.

Hogan fights Orton off in the corner and sends him into the buckle. Almost all Hogan so far which continues as Hogan pounds down right hands in the corner. He bites Randy’s forehead and pokes him in the eye to keep us firmly in the mid-80s. Hogan rakes his back and pounds away on the mat before threatening the referee with a right hand. Orton holds the ropes on an Irish whip and pulls Hogan to the mat to work on the knee.

Back in and Orton cannonballs down on the leg before doing a short form of the circle stomp. A chop block puts Hulk down again but he ducks/collapses to avoid a high cross body. Hogan pounds away but misses the big boot, allowing Orton to dropkick him down. The RKO connects for three but Hogan’s foot was on the ropes. Orton argues with the referee, Hulk Hulks Up and the legdrop ends it.

Rating: D. Well let’s see: the booking was out of the 80s, Hogan broke a sweat for maybe a minute, and Orton was pinned clean by a 50+ year old man in about eleven minutes. This is the opposite of last year with Shawn as Michaels didn’t have much to gain from a win. Orton on the other hand could have ridden this win for months, but instead we get Hogan’s last WWE match (which you couldn’t have known at the time) as a tribute to him, complete with the 1985 formula all over again. Not a fan of this but you had to know it was coming.

We look at a big party yesterday which is exactly what you would think it was. This was also the announcement for WWE 24/7, which was nowhere near as cool as it sounded.

Melina isn’t sure if Foley can beat Flair but he freaks out on her, saying he’ll do it. This was an awkward on screen relationship.

Ric Flair vs. Mick Foley

In something else that was kind of awkward, these two traded shots at each other in their books with Foley saying Flair wrestled the same match for years and Flair calling Foley a glorified stunt man. Tonight is an I Quit match and it’s all about respect. Foley jumps Flair in the corner and pounds away before hitting the running knee to the head. A running trashcan shot to the head has Flair in early trouble and it’s already Socko time. Flair won’t give up so Foley says he’ll suffer.

Foley wraps barbed wire around the sock but Flair grabs Mick’s crotch to block it. We’re not even two minutes into this and we’ve already had a crotch grab. A low blow puts Mick down and Flair wraps the barbed wire sock around his hand for some chops. Ric sends Foley knees first into the steps but Foley rams him into the announce table to get a breather. Foley pulls out a barbed wire board and blasts Flair in the back with it to make Naitch scream.

We head inside again and the fans want fire. Flair is busted open (duh) so Foley rubs the barbed wire over the cut for good measure. A barbed wire board to the head and the shoulder have Flair in even more trouble but he tells Foley to kiss something instead of quitting. Foley spreads out the thumbtacks and slams Ric down onto them in a scary looking but perfectly safe spot. Think about it: the tacks are what, half an inch long? All they’re going to go into is fat so while it’ll hurt, there’s no real danger to the spot. It’s like being stung by a bunch of bees.

Anyway Flair still won’t quit so Foley brings in the barbed wire ball bat to cut at Flair’s head even more. Flair hits his second low blow to escape before sending him shoulder first into the post. The ball bat to the shoulder has Foley in big trouble as Ric goes into old school brawler mode. Foley won’t quit so Flair threatens to kill him by cutting out his heart.

A third low blow has Foley on the apron, allowing for Ric to knock him off the apron and onto the concrete. Foley is apparently out cold so medics and Melina come out to check on him. The trainer says it’s over and the bell rings. That’s not good enough for Flair though and he sends Foley back in to rub the ball bat over Foley’s face again. He runs the barbed wire over Mick’s unconscious eyes and Melina throws in the towel to end it. Wait that’s STILL not good enough for Flair because Foley has to say it. Ric threatens Melina with the ball bat and Foley quits to save her.

Rating: B. This was one heck of a bloodbath until Melina had to get involved. I get that they didn’t want either guy to quit but dang man, did we really need Melina out there? Like I said it never was a good fit on screen and would end with Melina screwing over Foley for no apparent reason. Good match, but Flair flat out doesn’t need to be doing this at his age.

Vince, Shane and Armando Alejandro Estrada (Umaga’s manager) make fun of Foley until Vince asks if they have Umaga’s support tonight. Armando says si.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. King Booker

Booker is defending and Batista never lost the title, only being stripped due to injury. This is his first major match since December/January. Booker’s wife Sharmell reaches Vickie levels of annoying by saying ALL HAIL KING BOOKER about 18 times on the way to the ring. Feeling out process to start with Booker taking him into the corner and slapping him across the face. Batista easily shoves him across the ring to prove a point as things are starting slowly.

The champion grabs a headlock but completely misses a spin kick, allowing Batista to counter into a powerslam for two. Booker tries to bail with Sharmell but Batista doesn’t even let him get close. Back in and Booker blocks a Batista Bomb by snapping Batista’s neck across the ropes to take over. We hit a chinlock less than four minutes in and the fans aren’t pleased. Back up and Batista hits a sloppy belly to belly suplex for two but Sharmell sends in the scepter for a cheap shot, giving Booker more control.

Booker goes after the arm, which is the injury that kept Batista on the shelf for so long. That makes too much sense though so it’s off to a regular chinlock. Batista finally gets up and crotches Booker on the top before hitting some weak clotheslines. They head to the floor with Booker sending him into the barricade to take over. A missile dropkick gets two on Big Dave but the ax kick misses. Batista Jackhammers him down for two and busts out a full nelson slam of all things. He loads up the Batista Bomb and Sharmell comes in for the lame DQ.

Rating: D. Well at least it wasn’t that long. These two had horrible chemistry together so of course they had two more PPV matches until Batista finally took the title at Survivor Series. The ending sucked, the match sucked, Batista looked as slow as Hogan out there, and the fans were bored by the match. Sounds like it needs a sequel to me.

Post match Batista “destroys” Booker, which translates to him not being able to get him up for a Batista Bomb until Booker clearly pulls himself up. Again, this feud went on for three more months.

Jeff Hardy is coming back tomorrow. Why bother announcing it when you can have a big surprise like that?

DX talks to someone we can’t see. They tell him how much Vince praised Umaga, calling him the REAL monster in WWE. They leave and whoever was in there bangs on the door.

We recap DX vs. the McMahons. This feud started with Shawn vs. Vince but HBK recruited HHH to help him out. DX destroyed a bunch of Vince’s stuff and made fun of him, basically getting on the nerves of everyone over 17 years old. Vince and Shane brought in everyone imaginable to help them but DX dispatched them easily because they’re both Hall of Famers and they were fighting jobbers to the stars. Umaga was the only one who could beat them one on one, making those matches the only interesting parts of the entire feud.

D-Generation X vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon

Vince and Shane head back to the entrance and send out the Spirit Squad as the first line of defense. Superkicks, backdrops and Pedigrees abound, getting rid of the Raw Tag Champions (the cheerleaders) in less than fifteen seconds. DX beat the Spirit Squad about five times in this whole thing but never won the tag titles. I never quite got why.

Next up are Kennedy, Finlay and Regal who do a bit better thanks to Finlay’s club but only last about 40 seconds. Now it’s Big Show to really challenge DX. Why all nine guys didn’t come out at once is never really addressed. The three midcarders take down HHH on the floor, leaving Shawn alone with Show. A cobra clutch backbreaker and the Log Roll knock Shawn silly as HHH is destroyed. Now the McMahons come to the ring and there’s the opening bell.

Vince slams Shawn down to start and it’s off to Shane for some dancing. He peppers Shawn with left jabs and hits a big right cross to puts him down. HHH is still down from a chokeslam through the announce table. Vince comes back in for something like a clothesline to the ribs and fires off elbows in the corner. A double back elbow puts Shawn down and HHH is finally remembering what planet he’s on. Shane of course slides to the floor to knock him down again, which is pretty smart.

Shane hits a backbreaker on Michaels and it’s back to Papa McMahon. There’s a double elbow but HHH is on his feet. Shane, again, wisely baseball slides him onto the other announce table. The McMahons bust out the Demolition Decapitation and the Hart Attack of all things, complete with signature Bret pose. They even hit a bad looking Doomsday Device but Shawn pops up at two and fires off right hands. Vince sneaks in with a shot to the back and down goes HBK again. Shawn scores with a double clothesline and everyone is down.

HHH is back up on the apron and actually takes the hot tag. Adrenaline kicks in and house is cleaned with a high knee and a neckbreaker to Shane. Clotheslines take both McMahons down and there’s a spinebuster for the young one. Shawn drops the elbow on Vince and hits a Cactus Clothesline to take Shane out.

Here’s Umaga to superkick Shawn and hit a quick Samoan Spike to HHH. This brings out Kane as the guy DX was talking to so he can fight Umaga to the back. Shane can only get two on the Game so Vince punches the referee. Shane loads up a Coast to Coast but Shawn superkicks him out of the air. A trashcan shot to Vince sets up Sweet Chin Music and the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: B-. That’s about as high as they can get and there’s nothing wrong with that. The booking was as smart as you could get since there might not be two guys in the company that could be a legitimate threat to DX in a straight match so making it eleven on two to start was all they could do. The rest of the match is your usual tag team formula match and that’s all they could do here. The fans popped for the ending too so I can’t complain much.

Wrestlemania 23 is in Detroit.

We recap Edge vs. Cena. Edge won MITB last year at Wrestlemania and cashed in on Cena at New Year’s Revolution nine months later. After some title trading with Van Dam and Cena, Edge wound up with the belt on Raw, setting up the one on one showdown here tonight.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Cena is the hometown boy tonight. If Edge gets disqualified he loses the title. Cena charges him into the corner and the booing begins. John pounds away and gets one off a back elbow and a belly to belly suplex. Edge avoids a charge to send Cena shoulder first into the post and out to the floor. It’s kind of early for that spot. Back in and Edge beats on Cena with basic strikes before knocking him off the apron and into the barricade.

Cena makes it back in at nine but Edge immediately drops an elbow on his back for two more. John makes a comeback with right hands as the fans are booing even louder now. A quick fisherman’s suplex gets two on Edge but he sends Cena over the top and out to the floor for the third time. Back in again and Cena misses a cross body to put him down again. Why it puts Edge down as well isn’t clear.

We hit the chinlock for a good while until Cena breaks the hold with pure power. Cena hits a knee to the chest but walks into a big boot for two. Edge goes up top and fights off Cena so he can hit a top rope clothesline for two. Off to a camel clutch but Cena again powers out of it. Both guys are down so Lita sends in a chair. Edge picks it up before throwing it down out of fear in a cute bit. Cena initiates his finishing sequence but the FU is countered into the Impaler for two.

Edge goes up again but has to escape the FU off the ropes into an electric chair but Cena gets two off a victory roll. A middle rope cross body is rolled through into the FU but a Lita distraction makes Cena drop Edge. The champion is sent into his chick and Cena gets a close two off a rollup. A double clothesline puts both guys down until Edge rolls over for two.

The Canadian is up first but the spear is countered into the STFU. Lita tries to come in with the belt but Edge waves her off and gets the rope. The referee has to drag Cena off, allowing Lita to load up brass knuckles on Edge’s hand. Cena grabs the FU anyway but Lita comes in, only to be thrown on top of Edge in a double FU. How that isn’t a DQ isn’t clear but Cena flips her to the mat, allowing Edge to knock him out with the knuckles to retain the title.

Rating: B-. This took some time to get going but the ending was great. Edge winning is an interesting concept and they would go with the same idea next month when Cena beat Edge in Edge’s signature match in his hometown. The match wasn’t all that good though as it felt like they were just killing time until the end, which makes for a dull match.

Overall Rating: C. Right in the middle is about perfect here as there are almost equal amounts of good and bad. The interesting things about this show are the match lengths. Usually there are some very short matches and one or two longer ones. Here there’s only one match under nine minutes and the longest is the main event which isn’t even sixteen. That makes for a show where there’s nothing huge to save the bad stuff and everything is almost equal in length, meaning you can weigh almost everything the same. The show is definitely watchable but skip Booker vs. Batista.

Ratings Comparison

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Big Show vs. Sabu

Original: C

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: D

Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair

Original: B-

Redo: B

Batista vs. King Booker

Original: D

Redo: D

Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. D-Generation X

Original: C-

Redo: B-

Edge vs. John Cena

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: C

Other than Hogan, not a lot changes here. This show pretty much is what it is.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/09/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2006-hogan-and-dx-are-in-charge-are-we-in-1998/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 8, 2004
Location: Arena At Harbor Yard, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania and that likely means a slower than average night. In this case we do have the return of the Rock, which almost guarantees at least some energy. There’s a good chance that there won’t be much wrestling as WWE isn’t going to want to risk an injury six days before the biggest show of the year. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The arena is full of smoke and Gregorian chanting while a dirty casket is in the ring. I’m thinking the return of Mantaur too.

Opening sequence.

Back in the arena, Lawler thinks Kane might have something to do with this and here’s Kane to prove Lawler right. How nice of them to not keep us waiting. His music is replaced by the chanting as he gets in the ring and turns the casket over, revealing the Urn inside. Kane throws the casket out (breaking the lid off in the process), leaving the mat covered in dirt and mud. He wants to know if this is the best Undertaker can do after weeks of teasing his return. An empty casket and an urn full of ashes?

The Urn is thrown out as well because it’s going to take more than empty promises to defeat him. At Wrestlemania, Undertaker’s Streak and his legacy are done, for good this time. Kane is NOT afraid of him….and there’s the gong. Lightning goes off and the ring starts rising off the ground (you don’t see that every day) and panic ensues. The screen says “This Sunday, it all begins again.” The impressive part: even though it hasn’t been full time in a good many years, the run that would begin on Sunday has gone on longer Undertaker’s entire WWE run up to that point.

Rob Van Dam/Booker T./Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak/La Resistance

The Dudleys qualified for Sunday’s title match after beating Lance Storm and Val Venis last night on Heat. Conway hits Bubba in the back to start as the fans already want tables. It’s off to Dupree, who gets taken down by a neckbreaker because Bubba doesn’t like French guys. Rolling Thunder gets two as JR and King list off other big shows to describe Wrestlemania.

Van Dam goes shoulder first into the post and Jindrak comes in for the armbar. A pair of kicks to the head eventually get Rob out of trouble and over to the corner for the hot tag to Booker. That means even more kicks and a Book End to Jindrak with everyone coming in for the save. Dupree gets in a shot to the back of Booker’s head and Jindrak gets the pin with a clothesline. We’re coming up on Wrestlemania, not Survivor Series.

Rating: D. I get what they were going for here but I’m not going to buy Jindrak and Cade as threats to anything, let alone the Tag Team Titles. I know Evolution wasn’t exactly great with the titles but they were better than most of these goofs. This whole match shows how weak the division is as while the teams are at least different, I have no reason to care about most of them. This whole thing could be left off of Wrestlemania and the only people who would care are these eight guys.

The winners argue over who should get credit for the win.

Chris Jericho is on the phone with Trish Stratus and does that weird kind of talking where he repeats everything the other person is saying that you would never do. He’s going to take out some aggression on Christian this Sunday but Christian jumps him from behind. Christian says he left her boyfriend in Trish’s favorite position: flat on his back.

During the break, Christian bailed in a waiting car.

King has a Wrestlemania pizza delivered as part of a sponsorship deal. Unfortunately they never actually say the name of the company that delivered the pizza so it’s kind of missing the point.

Booker and Van Dam are upset about losing, but Van Dam manages to get in his pose.

Tonight: This Is Your Life Mick Foley. Therefore, we get a clip of This Is Your Life Rock. That still holds up, just from the chemistry between these two.

Rock arrives and runs into his biggest nemesis: Hurricane and Rosey. Hurricane brags about beating Rock, but that was just the Scorpion King. Tonight live though, it’s the Rock. It’s all cool though because he Hurricane liked Walking Tall. Rosey on the other hand got lost and wound up seeing Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen.

Hurricane isn’t wild on Rock’s goatee because it reminds him of Coach, who is right behind Rock. Coach, whose height always surprises me, thinks Rock is stealing his look but Rock goes into a rant about Coach kissing up to Bischoff. Eventually Coach gets shoved away and Rock gives Hurricane and Rosey a pep talk.

Evolution vs. Hurricane/Rosey

That better be a heck of a pep talk. Flair punches away at Hurricane in the corner and hits a quick belly to back suplex. Orton comes in to kick at the knee and it’s off to Batista for a spinebuster. The Batista Bomb finishes Hurricane before Rosey is ever tagged in.

Evolution beats up Rosey post match. Orton says this is Rock and Foley’s life: two pathetic comebacks that end in embarrassment on Sunday. There is no stopping Evolution.

Video on the issues between Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit, which resulted in HHH standing tall again.

Chris Benoit vs. Matt Hardy

I wonder if Matt, who never irons his clothes and occasionally cheats on his diet, can last as long as Rosey and Hurricane. Matt talks trash and says Benoit winning the title doesn’t matter because he’s V1. That earns him a backbreaker and a snap suplex so Matt tries bailing to the floor. Back in and Matt grabs a Side Effect for two but gets caught in the rolling German suplexes. The Crossface makes Matt tap in a hurry. To recap: Jindrak and Cade are on Wrestlemania but Matt is stuck in this role?

Post match JR gets in the ring to talk to Benoit about how long he’s worked to get here. Benoit is getting in the ring with two of the best ever and he’s coming out on top. Cue Shawn to say he appreciates what Benoit has accomplished more than anyone, but for Shawn, it’s about end a “nearly ten year grudge with HHH”.

Oh come on. HHH debuted in WCW in February 1994, didn’t start hanging out with Shawn until the summer of 1997, and if you REALLY stretch and say their issues started the day HHH took over DX, it’s less than six years. It’s more like a year and a half, which is still way shorter than Benoit’s 18 year path to the title.

Benoit doesn’t want to hear it (good man) because Wrestlemania is about walking out as World Heavyweight Champion. Violence is teased but Shawn eventually wishes him good luck. They shake hands but here’s HHH to interrupt. HHH thinks this whole thing is ridiculous because he shouldn’t have to defend the title against two men in one night. The two of them made a pact to take the title from HHH so they need to get used to disappointment.

HHH always overcomes the odds and manipulates the situation to always be in his advantage. He’s always found a way to have an edge and this Sunday that’s their egos. Shawn’s ego isn’t going to let him leave with the title because he’ll have to be the best, which is all the edge that HHH needs. I know it’s the main event of Wrestlemania but HHH almost didn’t need to be here. The Shawn/Benoit section alone was quite good.

Foley runs into Spike Dudley for a preview of tonight’s This Is Your Life. I have no idea why this needed to be included.

Lita vs. Molly Holly

Molly is extra aggressive to start and chokes on the rope and gets two off a backbreaker. We’re already in the chinlock as JR hypes up Wrestlemania as being over four hours long. I pine for those days. Lita fights up with a sloppy headscissors and the reverse Twist of Fate for a pair of twos. Back up and Molly gets a rollup, grabbing the rope for the fast pin.

Post match Molly goes for Lita’s hair but Victoria runs in for the save as the rapid fire last second pushing continues.

We look back at Austin running over Vince’s limo last week.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg. It started at the Royal Rumble when they stared and sneered a lot, followed by Brock causing Goldberg to be eliminated. Goldberg cost Lesnar the Smackdown World Title next month and the Wrestlemania match was made. Steve Austin was added as guest referee to try and keep things interesting, at least partially because Goldberg is only showing up for the big match and not TV. Lesnar must have been taking notes. With Goldberg gone until Wrestlemania, Lesnar F5’d Austin last week and stole his ATV.

Here’s Austin for a chat and a beer. Austin has been speared and taken an F5 so he really doesn’t care what happens. He’ll be playing by the rules on Sunday but if someone wants to get physical, Austin is read to hand out knuckle sandwiches. Before we get there though, he needs to go to Atlantic City for some drinking and gambling but he’s also heading to Smackdown to get his ATV back. A quick recap wraps things up as Austin really didn’t have anything to say here.

We look back at Christian attacking Trish two weeks ago to put her on the shelf.

Chris Jericho vs. Steven Richards

Before the match, we see Christian’s attack earlier tonight, including him leaving after. Jericho has a cut on his head as a nice souvenir. Richards gets knocked down as he gets in with Jericho needing to blow off some steam. He’s a little too hotheaded to start and gets sent into the post twice in a row, followed by a quite logical armbar from Richards. The comeback doesn’t take long and Jericho tries the Walls but here’s Christian to Trish’s music. The distraction lets Richards grab the cheap rollup pin.

Post match Jericho sends Richards into the steps.

Hall of Fame video. It’s still an interesting class but lacking a top name.

Wrestlemania rundown with Michael Cole and Tazz joining us for the Smackdown matches.

Stacy Keibler and Jackie Gayda are in the back to talk about their Playboy match (when you can’t get in the arena on the go home show, it shows where you are on the card). After singing about bringing milkshakes to the yard (hence why this is off the Network), Johnny Blaze comes in but calls himself Johnny Spade (The multiple last names begin. Also of note: Johnny Spade was the name of a longtime Ohio Valley Wrestling mainstay so it’s not exactly an original name.). He’s willing to be their manager and even gives them a card. Johnny leaves and Eric Bischoff comes in, saying Johnny is made for this. And moving on.

Here’s Rock for This Is Your Life. Rock promises to win on Sunday so let’s get Foley out here right now. After a quick introduction, confetti falls and we get the famous video of Foley diving off of a house. The first guest: the woman who owned the house, Mrs. Doris Snyder! Foley: “I remember her!”

It’s a little old lady and Foley remembers eating milk, cookies and pie from her porch. A misunderstanding ensues with Foley saying all the kids, including the girls came up for pie. Foley: “Stray dogs too.” Rock: “STRAY DOGS???” Snyder is no longer opening her porch for pie but she is leaving her back door open for strudel. Rock panics again and tells her to stand in the corner so she’ll stop checking him out. I remember this one live and Rock’s reactions are incredible.

Next up: the Snuka vs. Muraco cage match, with Foley hanging out with the other 184 future wrestlers who were all in the building that night. Therefore, our second guest is Jimmy Snuka himself. Foley is thrilled to see his idol and offers Snuka to come to Wrestlemania. Rock talks about Snuka’s crazed 80s promos (the word he uses) where no one knew what Snuka was saying.

Snuka doesn’t like that, but Snyder grabs Rock’s arm. Rock: “Tell the Rock you are not looking at the Superfly’s a**!” Snuka: “Brother Rock, the Superfly loves pie!” Foley: “This is excellent!” Rock tells them to go get a room at Holiday Inn on her with Foley saying she was quite a gymnast in her day.

With the two of them gone, Rock talks about Foley’s writing career. The third guest: Bob Thompson, the first person to ever review Have A Nice Day. Foley says cut the music because Thompson found the book boring because wrestling, and wrestling fans, were idiots. The fans are all over the guy (as they should be) but Rock says Thompson represents everyone who has ever told Foley no.

The critics have been wrong, just like the people who say they can’t beat Evolution at Wrestlemania. Thompson criticizes Walking Tall and yeah there’s the sock in his mouth. Dude had it coming. Cue Evolution for the brawl (without talking first, as it should be) but Rock breaks up the triple powerbomb. That’s it for the comeback though as the Batista Bomb lays Rock out to end the show. This was long but Rock more than carried it, with his facial expressions over Snyder and Snuka being hysterical. Check this out if you have the time.

Overall Rating: C+. The Raw before Wrestlemania is always a different kind of show and that has to be taken into account. This is a night where the wrestling isn’t the point because it’s all about hyping you up for the big show. They actually did that too, as I came into this not really looking forward to Sunday and came out wanting to watch it again, at least a little bit more than I did earlier.

The big stuff with Rock and Foley was great, the first half of the Shawn/HHH/Benoit segment was good and everything got a little time (save for Goldberg of course, but that match and story has been such a mess that it’s not even a surprise anymore). As a stand alone show it doesn’t work, but for a go home show it did what it was supposed to do.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 1, 2004
Location: Gwinnett Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 9,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Last week saw three matches added to Wrestlemania, which makes sense given how soon the show is actually taking place. There are still a few things to hammer out though and that can be done in the next two weeks. Maybe they can find a better way to do things than by just having Vince stand in the ring and make matches. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Vince making Undertaker vs. Kane, Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar and the Playboy tag match last week. That’s certainly a way to set up a show in a hurry.

Opening sequence, which is cut off by Austin’s entrance to deal with La Resistance, who are protesting in the ring. You don’t see that very often and it’s a cool way to open the show. One Stunner drops Rob Conway and Sylvan Grenier runs away. Austin wants to deal with Lesnar and still isn’t happy with Goldberg spearing him a few weeks back. He’s going to call the match right down the middle but he’s ready to beat either one of them up at a moment’s notice.

Before he can get to the closing catchphrase, here’s Vince McMahon for a flashback showdown. Vince thinks Austin is a lousy referee and is going to get beaten up by both guys at Wrestlemania. Wouldn’t that make Vince very happy? Vince makes fun of Austin’s ATV so Austin runs down its specifics and thinks Vince has a 15-20 yard head start.

The chase is on and Vince bails to the parking lot where his limo is waiting. Austin drives over that (with a convenient camera inside the card) and Vince gets away. This was a big long ad for Goldberg vs. Lesnar without having Goldberg or Lesnar because things are getting a little screwy behind the scenes. When all else fails, go with Austin vs. Vince again because warming it up again six years later can’t hurt.

Victoria/Lita vs. Jazz/Molly Holly

Molly and Jazz get in an argument before the bell so Jazz walks out on the match. Victoria rolls Molly up for the pin in about thirty seconds. Jazz leaving didn’t change a thing.

Post match Molly beats the heck out of Victoria and pulls out some of her hair.

We look at the issues between Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels over the last few weeks.

Michaels doesn’t think he and Benoit can get along.

John Hennigan comes in to see Eric Bischoff and dubs himself Johnny Blaze. Some sucking up works as Bischoff makes him his apprentice. Austin comes in and stares Bischoff down as Bischoff says he had nothing to do with Lesnar last week. Now it’s Molly coming in demanding a rematch at Wrestlemania. Since she has Victoria’s hair in her hand, Austin makes it title vs. hair.

Molly panics at the idea of being bald. Austin: “You got a problem with bald headed people?” Hennigan tries to offer a handshake and gets a hard stare before Austin leaves. Apparently Molly and Victoria were told they couldn’t have a regular match but jumped at the chance for a hair match as it was the only way they were getting on the card. That’s some dedication to your craft.

Rosey/Hurricane vs. Mark Jindrak/Garrison Cade

The winners are in the four way for the title at Wrestlemania. Hurricane spins out of a wristlock to start and stops Cade with the superhero pose. It’s already off to Rosey for a kick to the chest and some superheroic arm cranking. The young guys try to pound Hurricane down to no avail so it’s a backbreaker for some more success.

A slam gives Cade two, showing off those developmental skills. Cade puts on a reverse chinlock but the power of a finger bite gets Hurricane out. It’s back to Rosey for the big Samoan drop but Jindrak hits a LOUD left hand to knock him off the top. A rollup with tights gives Cade the pin and the title shot.

Rating: D-. That’s one of the least necessary Wrestlemania appearances I can think of. You can almost guarantee a three way for the titles but the world was waiting for the thing to become a four way. Cade and Jindrak are a nothing team that barely ever even gets on the roster but they’re getting a Wrestlemania title shot? Why? Just to expand a match? That’s not exactly the best idea in the world.

Benoit only trusts himself, including in the tag match tonight.

Clip of Mick Foley’s great interview from last week where he got upset and promised to be here for revenge tonight.

Here’s Rico in the ring to introduce Stacy Keibler and Jackie Gayda to showcase their evening gowns. Rico: “These ladies are so hot they even make Rico melt.” I have no idea why I’m supposed to be more interested in seeing them in long gowns than the usual very revealing outfits they were but WWE has some weird notions. Rico talks about how gorgeous they are over and over again until Kane finally comes out (seemed like a missed cue).

In a surprising display of chivalry, Rico charges at him and then gets back up to save the women again. He gets chokeslammed for it but at least he tried. Kane promises to persecute Undertaker at Biblical proportions at Wrestlemania. I’m not sure what that means but Kane knows how to make it scary. The gong goes off and the blue lights come on, followed by an Undertaker symbol bursting into flames. JR thinks Kane might be afraid. Thanks for clarifying that the guy who looks terrified is actually scared.

Shawn and Benoit are in the back and nearly come to blows before their match. Benoit acts kindly by allowing Shawn to go first, though it might be due to Shawn’s music playing.

Shawn Michaels/Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton/Batista

Benoit gets to start with Batista and drop toeholds him into the buckle. With Batista staggered, Benoit just launches himself for a forearm to the face and a knockdown. Shawn comes in and crotches Batista against the post (with Batista’s face freezing in a funny visual. He’s fine enough to try a Batista Bomb but Shawn punches his way to freedom. A whip into the corner works a bit better and it’s off to Orton for some stomping in the corner

Evolution starts taking turns on Shawn with a wide range of kicks and punches to the face. The HBK chants begin and like a good face, Shawn slugs away to little avail. Batista’s chokebomb is countered into a DDT (nice one) and it’s off to Benoit. A dragon screw legwhip takes Batista down and it’s time to roll some German suplexes. The Crossface goes on but Orton knocks Shawn into the hold for the break.

That’s enough for Benoit, who shoves Shawn but gets punched in the jaw. All four are down and we take a break. Back with Orton holding Benoit in a bow and arrow before switching to a bodyscissors with a pull of the face. JR: “Orton with those powerful legs. Who does he think he is? Joe Stecher?” Orton sticks with the legs by dropping one for two and we hit the reverse chinlock. Batista comes in for a half crab but Benoit fights up and scores with an enziguri.

Shawn doesn’t stick his hand out for a tag though, meaning Benoit has to suplex Orton and get about a foot away to bring Michaels in. Shawn cleans house and drops the elbow on Orton but Batista breaks up Sweet Chin Music. Everything breaks down and Benoit hits a German suplex on Orton, only to have Shawn accidentally crotch him on top. Shawn covers Orton but Benoit comes off with the Swan Dive anyway. The real fight is on and Orton rolls Shawn up for the pin.

Rating: B. This was much more storytelling than action, though the action was good. It’s also a weird way to do things as Benoit and Michaels look weak before the biggest match of the year. I guess you want to tease that HHH could win because of their issues, but HHH has looked strong long enough. Let Benoit and Shawn catch up to him a bit (Benoit needs it far more than Shawn) and don’t have them lose less than two weeks before Wrestlemania.

Post match Shawn and Benoit go at it until HHH runs in and Evolution beats the two of them down. The FOLEY chants go nowhere as HHH Pedigrees both guys.

Post break Foley arrives and Evolution isn’t happy, though they think it’s time to give Foley his weekly beating.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel, even though Chris Jericho is injured. Instead here’s Christian and we’ll be having the Peep Show. Last week Christian was a little rough with Trish and had her screaming in pain, but after that he had her in his hotel room and she was screaming in pleasure. Both things were a little rough but sometimes it’s the only way to go.

See, Christian did all of this in the name of tough love, and there is going to be more tough love at Wrestlemania when he faces Jericho one on one. This brings out Jericho to no music and Christian is scared, despite Jericho’s noticeable limp. Jericho charges in and the fight is on with Christian getting away off a kick to the knee.

We look back at the ATV deal.

Wrestlemania rundown. Another team will be announced for the Raw Tag Team Titles on Heat because IT MUST BE A FOUR WAY!

A tow truck steals Austin’s ATV. So he just left it sitting there?

HHH leaves because Evolution can handle Foley by themselves. Orton has something in mind.

Booker T./Rob Van Dam vs. Matt Hardy/Test

Non-title, meaning Test and Matt, who paid cash for his home and has more money than you, can’t win the titles. During the entrances, JR, asks why someone isn’t calling the cops about the ATV. Fair point, which isn’t likely to ever be addressed. As things get started, JR says that Jindrak and Lance Cade have already qualified, making me wonder again why they ever bothered with Garrison.

Van Dam dives onto Matt to start but gets taken outside for a whip into the steps. Back in and Test mocks Van Dam’s finger pointing and gets rolled up for two as JR suggests Lawler would get mad if he wore a crown. Rob kicks Matt down and the lukewarm tag brings in Booker. Everything breaks down and the Book End gets two on Test. Booker kicks Test down but stops for a Spinarooni, because Booker never learns. Matt gets in a cheap shot but Test kicks him down by mistake. The ax kick sets up the Five Star for the pin.

Rating: D. Just a quick tag match here as Booker and Van Dam continue to gain momentum, even though it’s not like they’re on top of a tough division in the first place. That being said, it’s not like either of them have anything better to do anyway so this is as good as anything else they could be doing. The match was nothing, but did you expect anything else?

Here’s Foley for the big show closing chat. He promised to be here tonight but here’s Evolution to cut him off. JR: “It’s time to pay Satan.” Well that’s a jump up in intensity. Orton doesn’t get why Foley is here because the weekly beatdowns are starting to hurt Orton’s hand. Foley can have the one on one match at Wrestlemania if he wants one but Foley knows that it’s too good to be true.

There is never going to be a one on one match because Evolution (Foley: “You watch your step Flair. I’ll knock you out!”) is always going to be around. Foley has something else in mind: a 3-2 handicap match (POP for that) with a special partner. Orton knows where this is going and tells Foley to go find a payphone and call Mr. Big Shot. Go tell Mr. Walking Tall that neither of them is watching after Wrestlemania.

Foley leaves to go make the call but has a better idea. How about Orton tells him to his face? Foley never said he was coming back to Raw alone, so cue the Rock at a full sprint. Orton looks terrified (well duh) and the Rock N Sock Connection cleans house with the Claw, Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow to Orton. Rock, with a goatee, says Evolution’s days of beating on Foley are over because Evolution is invited to a one of a kind beating at Wrestlemania. Catchphrases are hit to end the show on a hot note.

Overall Rating: C-. The Wrestlemania build is starting to suffer as there is so much stuff going on that they’re trying to cover everything at once and it’s starting to collapse. The triple threat is getting the attention it deserves but other than that, it feels like they’re throwing in a bunch of people onto the show instead of trying to build the stories up into something interesting. That pay per view card video felt really heavy and that’s not what you want going into one of the biggest shows of all time.

This week’s show wasn’t bad but there’s very little that I really want to see. Goldberg vs. Lesnar is in a weird place (mainly due to contract issues) where neither can show up and the best story is over on Smackdown. That leaves you with HHH standing tall for the moment and Austin vs. McMahon again, at least for the time being. It leaves the build feeling somewhere between weak and messy, and that’s not a good place to be.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 23, 2004
Location: Qwest Center, Omaha, Nebraska
Attendance: 14,752
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Wrestlemania is rapidly closing in on us and that means things are getting serious around here. In addition to the big main event story with Chris Benoit vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels for the World Title being confirmed, Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar is heating up for the interpromotional dream match. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Benoit vs. Michaels last week and the announcement of the triple threat.

Opening sequence.

Women’s Title: Molly Holly vs. Victoria vs. Lita vs. Jazz

Molly is defending under elimination rules. After Lawler gets done putting his eyes back in over Victoria (fair enough), we’re ready to go. It’s a big brawl to start with Jazz lifting Victoria up in the double chickenwing. Lita’s snap DDT gets rid of Jazz in very short order and we’re down to three. Molly hits a handspring elbow on Victoria in the corner but gets caught in a quick jackknife cover to get us down to Victoria vs. Lita for the title. That’s not cool with Molly, who beats the heck out of Victoria after the fall.

We take a break and come back with Victoria grabbing a headlock takeover, which feels very odd two eliminations into a match. Lita comes up and gets two off a clothesline, only to be snapmared into a chinlock. They’re definitely going with a weird layout so far. Victoria misses the slingshot legdrop and Lita botches the counter to the spinning side slam. A reverse Twist of Fate gives Lita two and she sends Victoria throat first into the bottom rope. The moonsault takes too long though and the Widow’s Peak gives Victoria the title.

Rating: D. The first two eliminations were completely worthless and the rest of the match was a sloppy mess. They didn’t seem to know how to lay a match out and the botches didn’t do it any favors. Molly was fine for a champion but Victoria is a bigger star with a better character so the title change makes sense. That doesn’t make up for the bad match though.

Steven Richards comes out for the big celebration.

Vince McMahon arrives and tells the driver to get his wrestling gear out of the back.

Eric Bischoff isn’t happy about the main event but here’s Christian to interrupt. Christian is still trying to get a Tag Team Title match for himself and Chris Jericho. Bischoff rants on Jericho and gives Christian a match with Trish Stratus instead.

Randy Orton vs. Val Venis

Non-title. Orton goes aggressive to start and chokes Venis in the corner but a few chops put him on the floor. Venis is right after him and gets backdropped down to put Orton right back in control. Some knees to the back set up a knee to the back camel clutch as the fans want Foley. Orton mocks the BANG BANG and Venis kicks him in the head for taking too long. Venis grabs a cobra clutch slam and a spinebuster but can’t follow up. With Val going up top, Orton learns from his mentor and slams him off the top for the big crash. The RKO is good for the pin.

Rating: D. Orton is getting some stature here and the feud with Foley should only make that better. A win over a former Intercontinental Champion should help him out even more, which is all you can ask for her. Venis is a great choice for a jobber to the stars and thankfully they’ve cut out the old gimmick stuff save for the hip swivel.

We look back at Bischoff challenging Vince….from Nitro in 1998. That’s tonight’s main event, all in a way to plug the Monday Night War DVD, less than a month from Wrestlemania.

Bischoff is panicking over the video being played. As expected, it was Austin, who recaps Bischoff running his mouth off last week. Austin: “You’re the only man who has made out with Vince’s wife and made out with Vince’s daughter. And he still signs your paychecks!” Wrestling is a very strange place. Bischoff talks about a fantasy he has with Stephanie and Vince is right behind him. A lot of yelling ensues. Austin to Eric: “You’ve got him right where you want him.”

Evolution gives Batista a pep talk for his match with Benoit. First though, HHH has something to say.

Here’s Evolution so HHH can have a chat. HHH wasn’t happy with the announcement of the triple threat last week and it got to him a little bit. Then Ric Flair reminded him that he’s the best in the world today so there’s no reason to worry. He beats opponents one after another so this time he’ll beat two at once. It doesn’t matter who challenges him because he’s the World Heavyweight Champion.

Cue Chris Benoit to say bring it on, which is exactly what HHH tells him to do. Benoit grabs a chair and gets in but the numbers advantage lets Batista jump him from behind. Shawn runs in for the save but Benoit puts him in the Crossface to make up for last week. Now it’s Austin to say let’s do Batista vs. Benoit right now.

Batista vs. Chris Benoit

Joined in progress with Benoit going after the leg but the Sharpshooter is blocked with pure power. Batista clotheslines the head out of him and grabs the bearhug, kneeling to make up for the size difference. The hold goes to the mat but since that doesn’t have the best effect, it’s off to a half crab instead. That doesn’t last long either so Batista blocks a Crossface attempt and blasts him with a clothesline. It’s kind of hard to block a German suplex though and Benoit rolls his way to four in a row. The Swan Dive misses but the Batista Bomb is countered into the Crossface (sweet) for the tap.

Rating: C. This was a rather impressive showcase of Benoit’s selling and ability to walk someone through a competent match. Batista is still very green at this level and while he’s getting better, he needs someone as good as Benoit to get him to a higher level. They’re making Benoit look great with this string of submissions (ignore the loss to Shawn of course) and he’s on a roll heading into Wrestlemania.

Austin gives Bischoff a pep talk, telling him to be the Bischoff that beat Raw for 83 weeks in a row. Bischoff has gotten more out of that than Jericho beating Austin and Rock in one night.

Rob Van Dam/Booker T. vs. La Resistance

Non-title. Rob and Rene start things off and it’s an early spinning kick to the face for two on Dupree. A Hart Attack with a side kick gives Booker two of his own but Conway breaks up the ax kick. The chinlock goes on as the announcers make jokes about French coffee. I’ll take it over French military jokes. Booker’s side kick isn’t enough to get him out of trouble so he sends the French guys into each other. That’s enough for the hot tag and everything breaks down with a Book End dropping Conway. The ax kick into the Five Star finishes Dupree.

Rating: D. Total formula tag match here as a way to make the new champs look good. It’s pretty clear that La Resistance’s time on top is over and that’s the best for everyone. They didn’t have the best longevity in the world and now that the anti-French stuff has died down, they can settle into the midcard role where they belong. Van Dam and Booker are fine until a better team comes along.

We see some pictures of Foley’s face after last week’s beating and it’s not pretty.

Trish comes in to see Christian, who agrees to lie down tonight….if she’ll lay down for him. He wasn’t serious though because that was the CLT: the Christian Love Test. All he was doing was seeing if she was loyal to Jericho and she passed with flying colors. Red and white I would assume.

Video on last week’s Orton vs. Foley segment with Foley taking a very hard beating. Apparently Foley told Orton to actually hit him for the sake of realism, which is something only Foley would actually do.

Over the weekend, Foley, with a very black eye, sat down with JR. He’s been in pain for most of his career because it comes with the territory. What he doesn’t understand is why his injuries have caused him this degree of neurological problems (I’m thinking the fists to the head have something to do with it) and for the first time, he’s scared. He’s not sure why he kept getting up last week but it was probably just instinct.

Foley thought it was only about thirty seconds when it was actually six minutes. What he wanted to know was where the help was. He thought he was a little more loved than that but maybe some people aren’t over him walking away back in December. He isn’t happy with what happened and Evolution can say they beat him down last week, but it’s not ok to have them say his career is over.

Foley is longing to be Commissioner Mick Foley again because he can’t laugh. Evolution doesn’t get to be the people who take that away and, as he stands up and starts yelling at JR, he promises to be at Raw next week to get his hands on Evolution. This started slowly and grew into one of those promos that Foley has mastered over the years. You could feel his emotion and I want to see where this goes.

Trish Stratus vs. Christian

Jericho isn’t here due to reaggrivating his knee. Christian lays down but kicks out at two, gropes her a bit, and slaps on the Walls to win in short order.

Christian takes his time letting go.

Post break Trish is helped to the back and can barely stand.

Coach tries to tell Bischoff to calm down but Bischoff isn’t scared. He’s gone head to head with Vince before and beat him at his own game. 83 weeks are mentioned again and he lists off all the stars he stole. Yet his company still somehow managed to go out of business.

Next week: Foley is back and Shawn/Benoit vs. Batista/Orton.

Vince comes out for the main event but before we’re ready to go, he has a Wrestlemania announcement. We’ll have to wait on that as here are Stacy Keibler and Jackie Gayda to interrupt. They want to prove that they’re the hottest Divas on the grand stage of Wrestlemania XX. Vince wants the proof right here so dancing ensues. That’s cut off as an interpromotional evening gown match is made for Wrestlemania.

With that out of the way, here’s Kane to yell at Vince. Kane had been promised that Undertaker would die if he was buried but now he’s back. Vince tries to beg off but Kane won’t have it, saying that Undertaker is here again. Undertaker torments him day and night, so if Vince doesn’t do something about this, it’s his turn to be buried alive. Therefore, it’s Undertaker vs. Kane at Wrestlemania with Vince promising that someone will rest in peace.

That’s enough for Kane, so Vince wants to make his announcement. The fans chant for Goldberg as Vince talks about Brock Lesnar getting on his knees to beg for a match against Goldberg. Vince has thought about it and it would take someone special to control this kind of a match.

Cue Austin before any announcement can be made, sending Vince into a fit. Austin knows the people want to see Lesnar vs. Goldberg and since we need a guest referee, he’ll throw his hat into the mix. Vince wants to know what’s in it for Austin but that’s none of his business. The match is on, giving us our third match set in ten minutes. We’re finally ready for the main event, but Vince thinks Austin needs a tryout so he’s refereeing this match.

Vince McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff

They stare each other down and Bischoff offers a handshake. Vince will have none of that (makes sense) and knees him in the ribs but Austin tells him to get off the ropes. Some kicks have no effect so Vince drives him into the corner. Austin breaks it up again and Bischoff kicks him down. That’s it for Bischoff’s offense as Vince takes it to the floor, only to have Lesnar sneak in with an F5 to Austin and the no contest to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I’m not sure what to think about this one actually. The wrestling was bad but they’ve done a good job of setting up the big matches for Wrestlemania with three matches being added in about ten minutes. I kind of like that rapid fire stuff as you knew some of the matches were coming so just announce them officially and get on to something else.

That being said, the Bischoff vs. McMahon stuff felt like it was out of last century and was thrown together here to sell DVDs. They kept it very short, but was there nothing else that could have gotten Austin and McMahon out to the ring? Not a good show on its own, but a good way to get things ready for Wrestlemania, which is what really matters.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 16, 2004
Location: Centennial Gardens Arena, Bakersfield, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re less than a month away from Wrestlemania and it’s time to crank things up a bit. The World Title match is at least partially set but the question now is what happens between Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit after Michaels stole Benoit’s title shot last week in something I still don’t think is legal. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of the contract signing last week where Michaels stole Benoit’s spot. They’re fighting tonight.

Opening sequence.

Here’s HHH for a chat. He talks about what Shawn did last week and apparently the lawyers can’t come to a conclusion. This all goes back to Wrestlemania X where Yokozuna defended the title twice in one night against two different opponents. That’s not going to happen this year because Eric Bischoff needs to get out here and make a decision. Cue a power walking Bischoff to say it’s true that HHH shouldn’t be wrestling twice in one night.

Bischoff has an idea though: what if he cancels tonight’s Benoit vs. Michaels match and makes HHH vs. either of them for the title instead? The winner goes on to face the odd man out at Wrestlemania. The fans seem pleased and HHH asks if that’s what they want to see. Well HHH doesn’t care so that’s not happening. We don’t actually find out what’s happening as here’s Benoit for the brawl. The Crossface goes on but Benoit is smart enough to bail when Evolution comes out.

Post break Evolution has plans for tonight.

Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Booker T. vs. Ric Flair/Batista

Flair and Batista are defending and have Randy Orton in their corner. Booker and Flair get things going and botch a hiptoss so Booker settles for a slam. Rob comes in and, of course, kicks a lot. There’s a spinwheel kick to Batista and a middle rope Cannonball gets two. Batista gets sent to the floor and Flair gets kicked down, only to have Orton shove Batista out of the way of a dive as we take a break.

Back with Van Dam fighting out of a chinlock but walking into a powerslam. Van Dam kicks Flair down (again) and the hot tag brings in Booker for a suplex on Batista. Everything breaks down and Booker gets to kick Flair this time, meaning we can pause for a Spinarooni. The delay lets Orton come in and take out Booker’s knee so Flair grabs the Figure Four. Cue Mick Foley to fight Orton into the crowd, leaving Van Dam to Five Star Flair, giving Booker the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. The match was a little messy but they had to do something to get the titles off of Evolution. They were dominating for so long now and the Tag Team Titles are the easiest ones to get off of them. Booker and Van Dam are fine as new champions and the win enhances Orton vs. Foley to make things even better. Good decision, though not a great match.

We look at Goldberg helping Eddie Guerrero win the Smackdown World Title last night at No Way Out.

Austin and Bischoff watch the footage and Austin recaps it for those who can’t pay attention. They have more important things to deal with though as Austin wants Bischoff to figure out the Benoit/Michaels/HHH situation tonight. Austin leaves and Orton comes in to say he’s going to call out Foley tonight. A fight is guaranteed.

Christian and Jericho, still with a banged up knee, are in the back before Jericho’s match with Kane. Jericho is ready to fight but he has something bigger in mind for later. He’s going to give Trish a rose as a late Valentine’s Day present and tell her how he really feels. The feelings he has run deeper than he thought and he needs to do something about them. Christian doesn’t think it’s the best idea because Trish might have her eye on someone else. Jericho looks nervous but is going to go through with it anyway.

Chris Jericho vs. Kane

Kane punches the injured Jericho down to start and breaks up an early Walls attempt. Jericho’s knee pad is ripped off and the bad knee gets slammed into the mat. The knee gets wrapped around the post to make it even worse and Jericho can’t stand. Jericho tries to backflip out of a belly to back suplex but the knee gives out again and the referee stops the match.

Post match Kane throws him over the top for a crash onto the knee. Jericho gets posted again and Kane calls out whoever has been playing the supernatural games with him. It’s not the Undertaker, who is thoroughly and extremely dead. After a bit of a hesitation, Kane sets off the pyro. He goes to leave and the Undertaker lights come on again. The dead will rise in 27 days but for now, rain falls on Kane. That’s not a bad visual with all of the light blocking out everything else.

Here’s Orton, in street clothes, to call out Foley. See, Foley just doesn’t get it. Orton is this good already and he’s 23 years old. Foley is blinded by his ego and doesn’t understand that his time is over. He might have been the Hardcore Legend in 2000 but right now he’s just Orton’s b****.

That brings Foley out to win a quick brawl but Evolution comes in, allowing Orton to hit him low. Orton punches Foley so much that he hurts his hand before ending it with the RKO. They’re about to leave but hang on because that’s not enough of a beating. The thing keeps going for a few more minutes and stops having much of an impact after a while. A Batista Bomb finally ends it.

Benoit comes up to Shawn and says he’s ready to show him the same lack of respect that Shawn showed him last week.

Jackie Gayda and Stacy Keibler are still complaining about not being in Playboy but Bischoff doesn’t seem to care. He tells them to go call Hugh Hefner so they leave, being replaced by Austin, with a copy of the Monday Night Raw DVD in his hand. We get a plug for the DVD and Bischoff says he can beat Vince up, just like he said he could back in 1998. Vince pops in and says that next week he has a major Wrestlemania announcement, but he’s going to make it in his wrestling gear. After the announcement, he’ll see if Bischoff really can beat Vince up. Well, better late that never never, maybe?

Trish Stratus/Victoria vs. Molly Holly/Jazz

Jazz yells a lot to start but gets rolled up out of the corner for an early two. Molly tries her luck and gets two off a snap suplex. Trish gets taken down for a quick chinlock but Molly misses a charge, allowing the hot tag off to Victoria. As you might guess, Lawler talks about her outfit more than anything else as Victoria shoulders Molly down for two. The Widow’s Peak is good for the clean pin.

Rating: D+. This was all about Victoria completely dominating Molly and getting the clean pin over the champ, which is perfectly fine. Overused, but still fine. I’m sure they’ll have their title match at Wrestlemania, which works as well as anything else the division (and I use that term loosely) has going on at the moment.

Post match Steven Richards celebrates like crazy, drawing in Test to beat him down. Test even loads up a powerbomb on Trish but Christian runs in for the save. Trish isn’t sure what to think of this.

Wrestlemania Recall: the Gimmick Battle Royal. That was much better done than a lot of the legends segments we get today.

Trish thanks Christian for helping her before she goes to see Jericho at the hospital. Christian is going too and they’ll ride together. He gives her Jericho’s rose as a Valentine’s Day present, with no mention of Jericho of course. And since no one watches these shows, this is likely going to be a big plot point that Jericho doesn’t notice.

Recap of Shawn stealing the contract last week.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit

Shawn taps his foot during the staredown so Benoit takes him down and starts the fight in a hurry. The whip into the corner turns Shawn upside down but it’s too early for the Crossface. A loud chop off doesn’t go anywhere so Benoit grabs a neckbreaker to take over for the first time. The announcers discuss the heights of Presidents as Shawn stays on the neck. Some right hands get Benoit out of trouble so Shawn hits the flying forearm into the nipup.

The fans are NOT pleased with that but the top rope elbow misses makes things a bit better. A backdrop to the floor has Shawn in trouble and sends us to a break. Back with Benoit driving some knees into the ribs and getting two off a backbreaker. We hit the abdominal stretch for a bit until Shawn reverses into a sleeper to bring Benoit back down. Benoit suplexes his way to freedom and it’s time to chop it out some more.

With Benoit getting the better of it, a hard collision gives us another double knockdown. A very quick small package gives Benoit two but he gets shoved off the top, setting up the top rope elbow. The superkick is countered into a failed Crossface attempt so Benoit settles for the Sharpshooter. Shawn FINALLY makes the rope and the crowd isn’t happy with the break. Benoit rolls some German suplexes and looks ready for the Swan Dive but here’s HHH for a distraction, setting up Sweet Chin Music to give Shawn the pin.

Rating: B+. Yeah this worked, although having Benoit take a fall to enforce this very forced World Title situation isn’t the best idea in the world. Benoit should be on a roll and it seems like a step backwards so Shawn can slip into the spot instead. I still really don’t like Shawn being in here, but that’s been the case for his feud with HHH for a very long time now.

Post match HHH gives Shawn a Pedigree. Cue Austin to say that Bischoff has made a decision. At Wrestlemania, it’s a triple threat match with HHH defending against Benoit and Michaels.

Overall Rating: C+. The main event helped a lot here (as can be the case pretty often) and the rest of the Wrestlemania build is going well enough, though not great. The World Title scene is really feeling forced and while the wrestling is good, I can’t help but ignore the storyline not working. The Wrestlemania card is being firmed up though and if they can find the right formula on the way there, we could be in for something special.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 9, 2004
Location: Rose Garden Arena, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Wrestlemania is just over a month away and tonight we get one of the required moments on the road to the big night: the contract signing, this time with HHH and Chris Benoit making their title match official. Shawn Michaels is still lurking around though and there’s almost no way that’s going to end well. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Goldberg for a match but there’s no opponent as Vince McMahon interrupts instead. Vince talks about how weird it is to see these two together and he’s got a point. This is some weird pairing that you almost never see together. Vince cancels Goldberg’s match so here’s Steve Austin to interrupt. Austin wants to know why Vince is here (well so far it’s to cancel a match) because he’s already ticking Austin off. It turns out that Vince is here because of Austin giving Goldberg a ticket to No Way Out because Vince knows what Goldberg is capable of.

It’s time to listen to the voice of consequence so here’s Paul Heyman to join us. Heyman doesn’t want Goldberg showing up but there’s nothing he can do to stop it. However, he can order Goldberg not to/threaten him with Brock Lesnar taking care of things. Goldberg takes the mic and say Lesnar is next before spearing Heyman. Another spear is loaded up for Vince but hits Austin by mistake, giving the fans their OOOOOO moment.

Post break Goldberg tells Austin that it was a mistake but wants to know if he should expect a Stunner. Austin isn’t sure but if he does Stun Goldberg, it won’t be a mistake. Goldberg can live with that.

Vince yells at Eric Bischoff and suspends Goldberg as punishment.

Trish Stratus/Chris Jericho vs. Matt Hardy/Molly Holly

That’s quite an odd pairing for Matt, who loves getting things for free and has status on five airlines. The men start with a friendly exchange of hammerlocks so the announcers immediately start talking about Goldberg. Can you at least wait a few minutes? An early Walls attempt sends Matt bailing to the ropes so Molly comes in and gets spanked for her efforts.

Trish gets armbarred down but pops back up for a headscissors out of the corner. The hot tag brings in Jericho to clean house but his plancha to the floor misses, aggravating the knee injury Jericho suffered last week. Cue Christian to post Hardy though, leaving Trish to roll Molly up for a fast pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad while it lasted but what does it say that they might have been in trouble if they had just gone a few more minutes? Four people who seem pretty talented shouldn’t be worried that a match is going to fall apart after going five minutes. Unfortunately that’s the way Raw matches tend to go as they tend to go overboard after a certain amount of time.

Post break Trish leaves the trainer’s room and runs into Christian. He doesn’t think there’s any reason the three of them can’t be friends. Trish agrees and Christian goes to check on Jericho, not before saying she looks really good tonight.

Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade are enjoying Torrie and Sable’s Playboy and wonder if they ever….and here are Stacy Keibler and Jackie Gayda to interrupt. They’re annoyed about not being in the magazine and are going to prove something. Or a PG-13 version of such.

Coach cuts off Mick Foley from coming in. Foley is here to embarrass Randy Orton or maybe cost him his Intercontinental Title. Coach steps aside, unfortunately.

Ric Flair vs. Chris Benoit

In a good move, JR announces that Mark Henry will be out for four months thanks to the Crossface last week. Now why can’t today’s wrestling attribute more injuries to wrestling? Nah, we’re better off telling the truth and getting nothing out of it. Benoit wastes no time with a German suplex so Flair bails outside, setting up a chop battle. That actually goes badly for Flair, who bails into the floor for a change to even less success. More chops rock Flair again but he gets an elbow up to stop a charge….and flops for a good visual.

It’s already time to go up and already time to get superplex back down from the top as Flair is bumping early and often. The Swan Dive misses though and Benoit is down as well. Back from a break with another chop off until Benoit sends him face first into the buckle. It’s time to roll some German suplexes until Flair gets in a low blow to save his neck. That means the Figure Four goes on but Benoit is in the ropes just a few seconds later. Flair stays on the knee but gets pulled straight into the Crossface for the tap.

Rating: C+. Not bad at all here and that’s not exactly shocking. Benoit getting another clean win is exactly the right call and should do him a lot of good going forward. Beating the man that HHH idolizes and emulates so often is a great visual and while there is still a lot of time before Wrestlemania, they’re setting things up well.

Post match HHH says the contract signing is right now.

Back from a break and Bischoff is in the ring with a table and Benoit as HHH comes out for the signing. HHH wastes no time in signing but has something to say before Benoit can do the same. He sees the nerves in Benoit’s eyes because Benoit is standing at the edge and thinking of jumping off. What happens if Benoit jumps? Does he survive or is it all over? We’re coming up on Wrestlemania XX with all the lights on bright.

Benoit will be wrestling in the main event for the chance to become the man in the industry. That means all the pressure will be on him to defend the title all over the world. From American to Europe to Japan and all points in between. If Benoit can do it, then everything becomes worth it. Then the fans will chant BENOIT and he has arrived. That’s a nice dream, but reality is going to sit in.

Benoit is going to be sitting in the back after Wrestlemania and look at the big empty space in his bag. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity but is it worth it to risk losing it all? This is reality and that reality is HHH. Benoit goes to sign but here’s Shawn Michaels to interrupt. HHH leaves as Shawn says he doesn’t want to rain on Benoit’s parade but he can’t let this go.

Shawn’s issues with HHH far eclipses anything that Benoit is doing and he has to finish it. Shawn has to end this on the grandest stage of them all and that’s what he’s going to do. Benoit finally gets to talk and says he respects Shawn, but Wrestlemania is his night. As he’s talking, Shawn superkicks him and signs the contract. I really don’t think that’s how contracts work but that’s always been a gray area in wrestling.

Shawn came off as a huge jerk here, saying that his issues were all that mattered, despite having already had two shots at the title, which he blew both times. Throw in that Shawn has already beaten HHH at Summerslam and beaten him for the title at Survivor Series, this is the whiniest Shawn has ever been, which is covering A LOT of ground over the years. I know how great the match is eventually going to be, but I’ve never liked this story as Shawn didn’t need to be there and felt like he was as wedged into an angle as anyone could have been. The promo was great, but Shawn’s stuff was really forced and annoying.

Kane vs. Hurricane

Hurricane strikes his pose and runs out to the floor. Back in and a side slam followed by a chokeslam gives Kane the pin in short order.

Post match Kane can’t get the pyro to go off twice in a row. The third time works but Undertaker’s video comes on, followed by a video saying “the dead will rise in 34 days” (Wrestlemania of course).

Bischoff catches up with a ticked off Benoit, who wants to know what’s up with that. Apparently Shawn signing the contract is legally binding but he’ll have his lawyers on it. Next week: Benoit vs. Michaels.

Randy Orton isn’t happy with Foley being here and accuses him of being behind a conspiracy. A conspiracy to do what isn’t clear, but a conspiracy nonetheless.

We recap the opening sequence.

Goldberg tries to leave and doesn’t care to talk to Coach. He still has his No Way Out ticket and Lesnar is still next.

Video on the recent Japanese tour. This is edited off of the Network, likely due to a music issue.

Here’s Foley for a chat. He’s not here to interrupt tonight’s Intercontinental Title match but rather for an explanation of why he walked out in December. This turns into a discussion of Reverend Jimmy Swaggart, who was a major pastor but was then caught with a bunch of women. Or Rush Limbaugh, who ranted about drug abuse and was then caught abusing drugs. So what does this have to do with Orton?

Well at one point he was a member of the Marine Corps (complete with picture) but this isn’t a great story about a hero. It’s the story of a man who went AWOL for 82 days and was dismissed from the military (MAJOR heat for that one). Maybe Orton was projecting some of his guilt onto Foley when he was talking about Foley being a coward.

Foley throws down the challenge for Wrestlemania and maybe we can call it the battle of the cowards. Orton pops up on screen and says come to the back for a fight, Foley does just that, earning a beating from Evolution, capped off by a Batista Bomb through a table, due to sheer stupidity. Seriously Sting would have seen that coming. Orton slaps him around a bit for good measure.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Booker T.

Orton is defending. All three head outside in a hurry with Rob throwing Orton back in for a kick to the face. Booker doesn’t seem interested in running in for the save, instead watching from the apron until two. Van Dam kicks Booker down instead and we’re already in the two in/one out formula. Booker kicks Van Dam down to switch things up a bit but gets pulled outside by Orton.

Back in and Van Dam flips Booker as I’m still waiting on all three to be in the same place at the same time again. The announcers bicker over whether what Foley said about Orton was true, with Lawler accusing JR of being prejudiced. JR: “Well it ain’t easy.” Another kick to the face sets up Van Dam’s cartwheel moonsault for two but Orton is back in with a DDT on Booker. That sends Booker outside so Van Dam kicks Orton down for a change. A forearm to Van Dam’s back gets two but he kicks Orton in the face again, because that’s almost all of Van Dam’s offense these days.

Booker comes back in to play Bret to Van Dam’s Neidhart (with a kick instead of a clothesline) on a Hart Attack. Van Dam hits a bottom rope Five Star for two on Booker and Rolling Thunder gets the same, this time with Orton making a save. We’ll switch off to Orton vs. Booker now with the RKO being broken up.

A belly to back suplex/high crossbody combo with Van Dam flying back in crushes Orton again and all three are down. Rob gets dumped to the floor and there’s the ax kick to Orton but the very delayed cover allows Van Dam to flip back in for the save. The Five Star hits Booker but Orton steals the pin to retain.

Rating: D-. I really, really didn’t like this one as it was a full match of Van Dam kicking them in the face and one of them heading to the floor so the others can have a short singles match. The ending was slightly better as Orton stealing a pin to retain the title fits him perfectly. It was a lifeless match though and a positive ending isn’t enough to fix the bigger problems.

Evolution comes out to celebrate so here’s Foley limping to the ring, earning another beating. Van Dam and Booker get taken out as well to end the show. HHH comes out to watch as the show ends.

Overall Rating: C. Awful main event aside, they did a good job of setting up the biggest pieces for Wrestlemania. The show is rather early this year (March 14) so it’s not like they have much time to really set everything up. Therefore it’s a great idea to have a lot of that out of the way early, and that’s what Raw has done here. There are still a lot of problems (contracts don’t work that way being a big one) but you can see a good card emerging in there. Just make the build work a little more smoothly and no more bad triple threats.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 2, 2004
Location: Bryce Jordan Center, State College, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We’re pretty firmly in Wrestlemania season now with about a month and a half to go before the big show. Things started to pick up last week when Chris Benoit moved over to Raw and went straight after HHH and the World Heavyweight Championship. Shawn Michaels is still lurking around though and you know he doesn’t want anyone to go after his wrestling life partner like that. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Benoit debuting last week and throwing his hat in the World Heavyweight Title picture.

Opening sequence.

It’s already time for the Highlight Reel and Chris Jericho promises to give someone more exposure than Janet Jackson’s nipple. That would be his guest, Chris Benoit. Jericho congratulates him on winning the Rumble (Jericho: “Oh yeah. HE WON THE ROYAL RUMBLE!”) and praises Benoit’s brilliance for finding the loophole to get to Raw. He does however give Benoit a warning: Benoit isn’t just dealing with HHH, because now it’s Evolution and worst of all, Eric Bischoff.

Benoit appreciates it but no one is going to stop him from getting his World Title. Jericho thinks it might be Benoit that stops Benoit from winning the big one, which is something Jericho can relate to. We see a clip of Ric Flair telling Benoit that he always lets the brass ring slip from his fingers.

Cue Flair to say Benoit is a great physical specimen and one of the best technical wrestlers in the world but he’s a runner up. The man around here is HHH and Benoit is never going to be the man because he can’t beat the man. Benoit agrees with half of that, but at Wrestlemania he’s going to become the man. For now though, how about he fights Flair himself? This brings out Bischoff (Coach gives him a standing ovation) to make Flair/Batista vs. Jericho/Christian for the titles (rather than their scheduled #1 contenders match) instead. Benoit can have a match too, and that’s next.

Chris Benoit vs. Mark Henry

Benoit chops away and the sweat is flying off of Henry’s chest. Henry knocks him down with one shot but Benoit is right back with the kicks and chops. One heck of a clothesline puts Benoit down with Henry declaring this his world. That just means more chops until Benoit can get up top for a flying headbutt to a standing Henry. Cue HHH to watch as Henry blocks a German suplex but gets Crossfaced for the tap. Not exactly thrilling but Benoit won in a hurry.

Escape the Rules ad. Since when is this a heel promotion?

Steve Austin runs into Michaels in the back and tells him that if he wants another shot at HHH, go do something.

Video on last week’s Mick Foley/Randy Orton showdown. It was a very interesting start, but I’m not sure how strong the followup is going to/can be.

Foley is in the back when Test comes up to yell at him for costing him his spot in the Rumble. The distraction lets Orton jump Foley from behind with a belt shot. Orton declares Foley his b****.

Rene Dupree vs. Rico

The announcers start talking about the Janet Jackson incident, which sends us into a Playboy/Jackie Gayda flashing Conway last week discussion. Rico rides Dupree around to start and the USA chants begin. A snapmare sets up a neck crank on Rico but Dupree switches it to a chinlock to keep Rico on his toes. Well on the mat but close enough. Now it’s a chinlock on the mat as Lawler talks about Jackie taking her top off yet again.

Rico fights up so Dupree takes him back down for another neck crank. Yet AGAIN it’s switched to a chinlock and yet AGAIN Lawler oogles Jackie. Good grief yeah she looks great but shut up already. Rico finally fights up for good and kicks Dupree in the head for two. They fight in the corner but here’s Stacy Keibler at ringside as Conway breaks up a monkey flip. Stacy gets on the apron to distract Dupree, allowing Rico to roll him up for the pin.

Rating: D-. Was there anything worthwhile in this match? The one with back to back nerve holds into chinlocks because that’s the best this show can do anymore? Throw in the fact that it’s Rene Dupree and Rico and I have no idea what is supposed to interest me here. Oh yeah the Playboy thing. How thrilling.

Post match Stacy and Jackie dance together.

Trish Stratus is getting ready but runs into Christian, holding a Rolling Stone Magazine about the Beatles. Christian talks about Yoko Ono breaking the band up, which wouldn’t have happened with him around. Instead he would have given Yoko a one man Conchairto before she could split the band up. Anyway, good luck Trish.

Linda McMahon spoke to college voters.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly

Molly is defending….or at least will at one point, as Bischoff comes out to say this isn’t happening because Trish isn’t #1 contender. Here’s what we get instead.

Trish Stratus vs. Kane

Staring, fear, Jericho running in for the save.

Trish gets away but Kane takes out Jericho’s knee with a chair and a posting.

Post break Trish checks on Jericho, who rants about Bischoff.

Kane is still in the ring so let’s do this instead.

Goldberg vs. Kane

Goldberg hugs a special needs kid on the way in. You hear about his work with kids a lot and that’s just cool. Goldberg shoulders him down but gets booted in the face. A choke doesn’t work and Kane hits a side slam for two. That means a chinlock (Kane must be a Dupree fan) but Kane lets him up pretty quickly, switching to a choke in the corner instead. The chokeslam cuts off Goldberg’s comeback….and a bolt of lightning hits the ring. The blue lights come on and the Undertaker video plays as Kane freaks out. Goldberg hits a spear as the gong strikes and the ring fills with smoke. We’ll call it a no contest.

Rating: D+. Not a bad power match here which Kane can do well enough under the right circumstances. I’m surprised Goldberg got beaten up this badly but at least it seems to be heading to a pair of matches at Wrestlemania. Now whether or not you want to watch them may be up for debate, but at least they have a plan.

Booker T. vs. Matt Hardy

Matt, who has never run out of gas while driving and his chest hair grows swiftly, has a perfectly healthy neck here, unlike Booker, whose neck was injured on Heat. Matt hits a clothesline and a hot shot to play up the neck issues. We hit a sleeper (better than another chinlock) as the announcers talk about Mark Henry’s shoulder being popped out of socket by the Crossface. That’s the kind of thing you can say that makes the hold look that much better.

Matt’s elbow to the back of the neck gets two and it’s off to a full nelson. A legdrop gets two as you can’t accuse Matt of sticking with the same moves over and over. The Side Effect gets two more and frustration is setting in. So it back pain in the form of a spinebuster from Booker. The side kick gets two on Matt and Booker kicks him in the face. Booker blocks the Twist and it’s an ax kick so we can hear Booker’s bad hip hop song again.

Rating: D+. Matt loses again but you can’t fault his psychology. You can see the difference between the Rico vs. Dupree match with one chinlock after another and this one, with Matt running through a variety of stuff to work on the bad neck. It didn’t go anywhere, but at least he was trying and that’s better than a lot of the matches you see.

Shawn is wiping HHH’s blood off his boot when Orton comes up. Trash is talked but Shawn isn’t having any of this and scares Orton off.

Here’s HHH, in ring gear, for a chat. He talks about next week’s contract signing with Benoit and after that, Benoit has no way out. They’ll be locked in to a match at Wrestlemania and when they get into the ring together, HHH will turn Benoit’s dreams into nightmares. Oh and also next week, Benoit gets Flair. For now though, here’s a demonstration.

HHH vs. Spike Dudley

Non-title. HHH turns his back so Spike hits a forearm, only to be kneed in the face for his efforts. Another knee to the face has Spike in trouble so he grabs HHH’s leg. The Pedigree ends Spike in a hurry. It’s better than HHH talking.

Austin comes to see Goldberg, who isn’t happy with Brock Lesnar. However, Austin just happens to have a front row ticket to next week’s No Way Out. Don’t do anything that Austin wouldn’t do.

Tag Team Titles: Christian/Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair/Batista

Flair and Batista are defending and Jericho is limping badly from Kane’s attack earlier in the night. Christian and Flair start things off and they hit the mat in a hurry. An abdominal stretch goes nowhere so Christian suplexes him instead. Batista comes in off the blind tag though and there’s a slam to take Christian down. One heck of a backbreaker keeps Christian in trouble and that’s it for Batista, which might be the best idea given his rather limited offense.

Back up and Christian rams heads with Flair for a double knockdown. Jericho comes in to start chopping away (gimmick infringer) as everything breaks down. Batista gets sent to the floor and a dive takes him out, leaving Jericho to bang up his knee on a missed Lionsault. He’s fine enough to get the Walls on for the tap but Batista sneaks back in to hit the knee. The Figure Four retains the titles.

Rating: D. Not enough time to go anywhere, which is a shame given what these teams could put together. Jericho tapping is fine enough given his injury and Christian can yell at him for giving up their chance at the titles. Flair and Batista aren’t great champions but it makes for a good visual with Evolution and that’s about as good as it could get at the moment. Still though, bad match, mainly due to the lack of time.

Wrestlemania Recall: Shawn’s entrance at Wrestlemania XII. Fair enough as that was a heck of a visual.

Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton

Non-title. The referee has to separate them in the corner to start so Shawn tries a headlock takeover instead. The announcers are thrilled as they get a chance to talk about everything other than the match, including every dumb thing that has happened tonight. Back up and Orton kicks away in the corner, followed by some uppercuts for good measure. The referee gets dropkicked pretty early on so Orton grabs the belt.

That goes nowhere though as here’s Austin, on the ATV, with another referee. Now that’s how you make a delivery. Austin takes the original referee, and the title, with him and leaves. Michaels is back up and throws some right hands but they fall to the floor with Shawn holding his knee. Back from a break with Shawn fighting out of a chinlock but Orton knees him back down. That means another chinlock with a knee in the back as the knee injury seems to have vanished.

Shawn fights up, gets taken down, and we hit the third chinlock in a row. Shawn’s comeback sleeper is countered with a belly to back suplex and Orton goes up. The high crossbody misses, but I’m more interested in JR saying Coach looks like he’s wearing a condom on his head. Shawn hits the forearm and nips up, followed by the top rope elbow. Both finishers are countered so Orton gets in a DDT. Cue Foley for a distraction though and Shawn grabs a rollup for the fast pin.

Rating: C. At least it wasn’t a clean loss for the champ, but I’m really not liking the idea of Orton getting pinned by anyone at the moment. He’s in a big story so just have Foley come in and deck him for earlier or chase him off for a countout or something. Also, what was up with the Austin deal? What a random cameo that added nothing to the match.

Post match Foley comes in and beats on Orton, including a clothesline to the floor. Foley knocks Orton into the crowd so here’s HHH to send Evolution after them. HHH goes after Shawn but here’s Benoit before it can get physical. The champ leaves and Benoit shakes Shawn’s hand to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The show itself was pretty terrible but you can see where a lot of things are going, which always a positive sign. You know Wrestlemania XX is going to get a big build and they’re giving it as much time as they can, at least on Raw. Things can get better with the drama being built up, but there was too much filler/focusing on the weaker stories here to really make this week work.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 26, 2004
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after the Royal Rumble and things didn’t go so well for Raw. The Rumble itself was won by Smackdown’s Chris Benoit and the Raw World Title match went to a draw, meaning the World Title situation is kind of up in the air. Raw won’t be back on pay per view until Wrestlemania so their TV needs to be very good. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the Royal Rumble if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Mick Foley returning last night, showing that he’s not a coward by attacking Randy Orton. The terrified look on Orton’s face is great.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Chris Jericho to open things up. He’s not happy that Benoit won the Rumble instead of him, but since Benoit is on Smackdown and Jericho was the last Raw wrestler in the Rumble, he should be getting a title shot. Say, TONIGHT. Actually, let’s just make that his Survivor Series favor. He wants to defend the title in New Hampshire, Wyoming, the Dakotas, Florida, and then in New York, complete with the Howard Dean scream. I haven’t heard that referenced in a good while so it got a small chuckle.

Cue Eric Bischoff, to say the title match is on….if that’s what Jericho wants. If he takes that match though, Trish Stratus has to face Kane. See, Bischoff is embarrassed that Raw lost the Rumble again so being the last Raw wrestler means nothing. So tonight, it’s either a title shot or no Trish vs. Kane. Jericho gives Bischoff a look that means the match is off but Bischoff isn’t done. Since Jericho and Rob Van Dam were the last Raw names in the match, they’re teaming up tonight to face Evolution (sans HHH)…..NOW. Are we at least done with the Survivor Series favors now?

Chris Jericho/Rob Van Dam vs. Evolution

Jericho and Flair lock up to start and a dropkick puts Flair down. Flair pokes him in the eye to take over as JR says he hasn’t seen Flair make many mistakes over the years. Uh, yeah. Orton comes in and eats a spinwheel kick so it’s off to Van Dam for the first time. The kicks and chops have Orton in trouble and charging into Jericho’s raised boot in the corner makes things even worse.

Orton finally knees Van Dam down and drops a forearm for two as things slow down a good bit. A spinwheel kick drops Flair and a flip splash gets two with Orton coming in for the save. Everything breaks down for a few seconds and Jericho is spinebustered on the outside, leaving Van Dam on his own as we take a break. Back with Van Dam in trouble and Jericho being checked on by the trainers.

Flair starts in on the arm and it’s off to Orton, as Batista still hasn’t actually been in the match. The short armscissors stays on as Jericho is up to his knees for an improvement. Batista comes in as the fans try to get behind Jericho. Orton steps on the arm again as Jericho is now back to the apron. It says a lot when you can make walking to your corner a story within a match and actually have it work. A kick to the face finally gets Van Dam over to Jericho and it’s time to pick the pace up in a hurry.

The bulldog gets two on Batista and Orton is backdropped to the floor. There are the Walls to Batista and a Five Star to Flair but Orton runs in to….completely miss the RKO on Jericho, who doesn’t even move off of Batista because Orton (Stupid! Stupid!) wasn’t close. The second attempt works fine though (with a strategic camera angle just in case) and Batista gets the pin.

Rating: C+. That botch at the end hurt things a lot as they were doing well with Jericho being cut off for so long until the hot tag. Evolution is a good choice for a team like this as you have a little bit of everything in there to make the team work well. They had to work hard but still won and it’s not like Van Dam and Jericho are damaged by losing a handicap match.

Post break Orton is in Bischoff’s office and wants revenge on Foley. Steve Austin comes in and says Foley is going to get to talk first though.

Trish comes in to check on Jericho and thank him for getting her out of the match with Kane. She thinks they could have a good relationship….as friends. Not as friendly as he is with Christian, like going out on the town or anything and helping him pick up women. Cue Christian, who Jericho doesn’t seem happy to see. Trish leaves and Jericho wants to know where Christian was during that handicap match. Christian was in Bischoff’s office, getting the two of them a #1 contenders match for the Tag Team Titles next week. Jericho just needs to get his head in the game. I love this story.

Molly Holly/Jazz vs. Victoria/Lita

Fallout from Victoria pinning Molly on Heat last night. During Lita’s entrance, Lawler mentions rumors that Playboy is looking for a pair of Divas to pose together. I mean, they’ve already been found and announced at this point, but Lawler hasn’t been up to speed on anything in years. Lita and Molly start things up with Holly being thrown into the corner for some good old fashioned begging off. It’s off to Victoria vs. Jazz, who hit the mat with Jazz getting the better of things.

Victoria gets sent outside, setting up an argument between Stevie Richards and Teddy Long. I think I need to see those two have a match at some point. Molly comes back in for a reverse cravate and it’s back to Jazz for the same thing. The splash misses though as Lawler asks JR how he can’t comment on the wrestlers’ looks. Lita gets the hot tag and cleans house to mere indifference from the crowd. With Lita and Jazz fighting on the floor, Victoria small packages Molly for the pin. Lawler: “ARE YOU WATCHING PLAYBOY???”

Rating: D+. I know it’s not the best change of pace in the world and they still need some fresh blood, but Victoria as a face could do some good for the pretty weak division. Molly isn’t doing anything as champion though and the lack of charisma near the title is hurting things a lot. In other words, they need a shakeup but a shakeup that actually makes a long term difference.

Here’s HHH for a chat with the announcers treating his Last Man Standing match with Shawn like some kind of epic struggle. HHH says last night, two men fought for what they believed in and it came down to one second as neither was able to get up at ten. Cue Shawn Michaels so HHH asks what it takes to get Shawn to quit. Shawn says they haven’t even gotten started yet but thankfully here’s Austin to cut things off before we get a fifteen minute exchange about whatever these two decided this is about next.

Austin talks about how last night reminded him of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and thinks Shawn deserves a rematch. However, there’s one more problem and that’s the Royal Rumble. Chris Benoit won that match last night and gets a shot at whichever World Title he wants…which is a new development as nothing had been mentioned about being able to pick the title.

Cue Benoit to stare at both of them and say he went through a hard night of his own. He’s fought eighteen years to be the best and now he has the opportunity to face the best. At Wrestlemania, Benoit is coming for the World Heavyweight Championship, no matter who has it. So there’s the big Raw match in a surprise.

Kane vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Bubba is fighting for Spike after Kane attacked him last night. Some right hands have Kane in trouble to start and a big one puts him on the floor. Kane has far better success on the floor with some uppercuts having Bubba in trouble. Back in and Kane rips at Bubba’s face, including a hard thumb in the eye. Kane grabs the steps and blasts the blind Bubba for the DQ.

Post match D-Von runs in for the save and eats a Tombstone…which triggers the gong. The Titantron goes nuts and we see one of the weird Undertaker videos, featuring the graveyard and Kane burying Undertaker at Survivor Series. Kane freaks and bails.

Paul Heyman is on the phone with Bischoff, who didn’t know what Austin was going to do. Heyman promises lawyers and hangs up with Coach coming in instead. Coach finds the whole thing funny and gets to face Goldberg in a No DQ match as a result.

Rico vs. Rob Conway

Rico takes him down to annoy Conway to start but Rene Dupree gets in a few cheap shots on the floor to take over. Back in and Conway threatens to break Rico’s neck, which is a little harsher than it needs to be. A clothesline sets up the chinlock as Jackie slaps the mat in an already loose top, sending Lawler through the roof.

We cut away for a second and come back to her holding it in place, making me wonder how that went live. Rico fights up with right hands and clotheslines but Rene pops up on the apron for a distraction. Not to be outdone, Jackie does the same, pulls her top off to really distract Conway, and allows Rico to kick Conway in the face for the pin.

Rating: D-. This is going to be about the Playboy thing isn’t it? There’s no other logical reason to give these two more than eighteen seconds on Raw so it has to be some other thing, such as pushing an angle that has already been spoiled in advance. At least it means more of Jackie, which is the only good part of the whole thing.

Post match Stacy Keibler comes out and raises Jackie’s hand to hint at Playboy. Moving on.

Wrestlemania Recall: Wrestlemania IX, with a grand total of no wrestling shown.

Mick Foley arrives.

We look at Brock Lesnar attacking Goldberg last night, setting up his elimination.

Coach comes out to face Goldberg but first he begs Bischoff to reconsider the match because no one wants to see this. Hang on though, because here are Teddy Long and Mark Henry. Teddy thinks it’s unfair for a “cracker” like Bischoff to dump his problems on the black man. That’s blatant haterizing because whitey thinks he can tell the black man to dance. Teddy gives Coach Henry for the night and we’re ready to go.

Goldberg vs. Jonathan Coachman

No DQ and Henry is in the ring for Coach. Henry shoves Goldberg around to start so Goldberg gives him a head fake into a clothesline. Coach stays in the corner as Henry gets in a splash and runs Goldberg over for a bonus. The bearhug doesn’t do much to Goldberg, who breaks out and knocks Henry to the floor, leaving Coach to take the spear and Jackhammer for the pin with a boot on the chest. Lillian: “Here is your winner: JO…GOLDBERG!”

Rating: F+. Remember those other times where Goldberg has beaten Henry up without much efforts? Well this time he did the same thing to Coach at the same time. Goldberg vs. Lesnar is all but a lock for Wrestlemania now and having Goldberg beat up Coach and Henry isn’t exactly a great way to get me fired up for it. Find some new people for Goldberg to beat up instead.

Here’s Mick Foley for his big return speech. Foley says an explanation is in order after he walked out on the company back in December. When fans talk about his career, they say a lot of nice things about his guts and courage, but they overlook his hatred. Foley was able to reach deep down into his heart and channel what he found there into some superhuman things in the ring.

That was fine when he was an active wrestler but things have changed today. Foley talks about Pete Rose working as hard as he could because he was mad at the world, which was cool with Rose was in a uniform. Seeing that same man angry at the world at 61 years old while he lies about betting on baseball is just sad. That’s not what Foley wanted to be, and it took him a long time to let go of the hatred after he retired. It was a big, big mistake to take the match with Orton in the first place because he knew he couldn’t reach down into the hatred again.

Foley calls Orton, on his own, out to the ring so here he is to respond. Orton asks what Foley wants….and it’s for Orton to spit in his face again. That’s going to be a no, so Foley shouts about all the blood he’s spilled over the years until Orton spits on him. Foley then turns the other cheek and asks Orton to do it even harder this time. You can see the confusion in Orton’s eyes as Foley says he wants this one to be extra green. Orton does it and Foley cheers for him, even asking for a closeup.

Foley is used to having things like this happen to him because he’s got four kids. That brings Foley to all the commercials that Orton’s “friends” aired because people started believing what they were saying. The spit on his face is spitting on his legacy and Foley cannot accept this, so he hits himself in the head, drawing blood. He suffered and worked too long to have Orton spit on his legacy.

Foley saw his ear thrown away in Munich, Germany and got beaten up in Nigeria and now he’s in that dark place again. There is a time and a place for hatred and that is right now in Hershey, Pennsylvania. Foley beats him down in the corner and hits the running knee but here’s Evolution for the save. A clothesline puts him on the floor but Foley comes back with a chair to clean house and end the show.

It took me some time to get into this one but Foley completely sold me by the end. He started off with the rather goofy spit stuff but then pulled Orton into the deep end, with Orton’s face perfectly selling the idea that he knew he was in WAY over his head. Foley knows how to get down into that deep, dark area and Orton isn’t even two years into his main roster career yet. This was a really weird way to get to a great place, but they better have Orton ready to come back against him because otherwise, this is going to be a really messy story.

Overall Rating: C. As tends to be the case around this time of year, the wrestling (outside of the opener) wasn’t the point here but the storytelling worked. Benoit coming over to Raw is a good idea as we’ve seen him face Lesnar already. The Foley story is very promising but is also walking a thin line. You can tell that it’s Wrestlemania season and if they stop giving Lawler so much time to yell about the Playboy thing, we could be in for a great road to New York.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 15, 2003
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re closing in on the end of the year and to the shock of no one, it’s all about HHH again. This time though he’s nice enough to allow the rest of Evolution to join in as they swept the titles last night at Armageddon. That means we’re on the way to the Royal Rumble, where I’m sure HHH will give a rub to some young whippersnapper. Let’s get to it.

Here are the Armageddon results if you need a recap.

Here’s Evolution with all of the titles to open things up. HHH brags about claiming all of the gold last night because Evolution was always going to change the industry. Goldberg’s fans wanted to believe the hype but he’s HHH and with him there is no hype necessary. Tonight, the golden rule of Evolution begins: they have all the gold so they make all the rules. You know they didn’t have to ask HHH twice to do that speech.

Opening sequence.

Trish Stratus/Lita vs. Chris Jericho/Christian

Rematch from last night. Trish isn’t exactly as fired up as usual here and Lawler hurt his voice screaming at last night’s match. Jericho and Trish start things off and again, Jericho isn’t thrilled with having to do this. Instead he tags Christian, which is a great way to show how he feels: bring in someone willing to beat the heck out of Trish.

Lita offers a slap though and Trish gets two off a rollup. Christian shoves her into the corner though, sending JR into a major rant, including about how much worse that is during the holidays. It’s off to Lita, who slips out of a slam and rakes the eyes but Jericho pulls her down by the hair. Jericho comes in for a slam of his own as Lawler is worried about Christian’s eyes. Lita shoves Christian off the top and tries a moonsault press…but doesn’t rotate at all, basically making it a reverse top rope shoulder.

Thankfully there’s no broken neck or anything and it’s off to Trish for two off a high crossbody. Christian clotheslines the heck out of both of them for two, pulling Trish up before three. Instead it’s an Unprettier for one as Jericho breaks up the cover. Jericho shoves Christian down and the match is stopped due to Trish being banged up.

Rating: D. That botch was terrible and the ending was a storyline advancement instead of anything noteworthy. Jericho getting closer to the face turn is interesting as this is starting to get a lot better. They could use this to change a lot about Jericho and that’s a good thing, especially considering how long he’s been a heel at the moment.

Post match Bischoff comes out and yells at Jericho. Chris yells right back and says this was a horrible idea. Jericho goes to leave but Bischoff makes Jericho vs. Kane for later tonight. With Jericho gone, Bischoff says he has an idea to reshape Raw forever (yes another one) and wants Foley out here for it. Post break here’s Foley who wants to talk about Steve Austin returning. Two weeks from tonight, he’ll be pleading his case with the Board of Directors and Austin will be there as well.

Bischoff calls Foley a disappointment because the fans want him to be the Hardcore Legend. We see a video on Foley’s career (I believe the old Desire video), which focuses heavily on Foley being beaten up. Bischoff wants Foley back in the ring and Foley has actually been thinking about returning. Say, against Bischoff for example. He’ll be back in the ring one day, but on his own terms.

Bischoff has his own idea though: Foley vs. Randy Orton tonight with Foley and Bischoff’s jobs on the line. Foley wisely says no because he knows what Bischoff is going to try. He knows Evolution will be out there, so Foley wants to get to pick the referee. Foley picks….Earl Hebner, but also wants Evolution and Bischoff banned from ringside.

Bischoff agrees but we’re STILL not done because Foley makes it a title match. That’s a big main event, and as usual, WWE is incapable of allowing more than an hour and a half to build it up. Why is that always the case? Also, that’s Bischoff’s earth shaking idea? Foley wrestling again? Or was it getting rid of the other GM and taking us back…two weeks?

Next week: the Best of 2003. So it’s a five minute show?

Booker T./Maven vs. Mark Henry/Matt Hardy

The Huffman Brothers unite. Matt, who always utilizes toilet seat covers, has to deal with Maven’s right hands and dropkicks to start. Maven’s charge misses in the corner though and it’s off to Henry to take over. A few hard shots have Maven down again and Matt comes back in to crank on both arms at once. More right hands in the corner keep Maven in trouble but a Russian legsweep is enough for the tag to Booker. Some forearms and a spinebuster get no cover because it’s Spinarooni time. Henry is low bridged to the floor and the ax kick finishes Matt.

Rating: D. Just a match here with Maven being as uninteresting as he could possibly be. He doesn’t have a look, he doesn’t do well in the ring and he can’t talk but he won a reality show about three years ago so we get to see him on Raw. Hopefully Booker vs. Henry is done as there’s not much of a point in continuing the thing when Booker pinned him clean last night.

Coach tries to interview Goldberg but gets beaten up behind a closed door. He is then thrown through said closed door.

Here’s La Resistance to mock Rock calling them, ahem, Fifi last week. That’s not the case but here’s Goldberg to destroy both of them. La Resistance was introduced for a match but there wasn’t even a referee in the ring. Goldberg breaks a French flag and waves an American one. WE GET IT ALREADY! FRANCE SUCKS AND AMERICA IS THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER! NOW MOVE ON! Cue Bischoff to suspend Goldberg for thirty days.

Post break: JR: “I DESPISE ERIC BISCHOFF!” He rants about Goldberg being suspended for showing his patriotism and thankfully Lawler calms things down.

Foley is talking about wrestling being an addiction and asks someone if it’s something you can do once. He’s talking to Shawn Michaels, who says Mick is preaching to the choir. This business is like the mob: every time you think you’re out, they pull you back in. Shawn says it’s all worth it. Foley asks for his flannel shirt.

Shawn Michaels/Rob Van Dam vs. HHH/Ric Flair/Batista

Batista and Van Dam starts but Batista wants Shawn instead. That’s fine with Michaels and thankfully Batista doesn’t tag out like so many others would do. Shawn speeds things up and decks HHH and Flair, drawing them in for a standoff. Batista powers him into the corner though and it’s off to HHH, who gets punched down without much effort. Van Dam comes in to work on the arm so it’s off to Flair, who gets kicked in the face.

A poke to the eye cuts Shawn off (he never was that bright) and a right hand from HHH from the apron makes things even worse. Now it’s HHH coming in again and it’s amazing how much more energetic he seems here than in any Goldberg match. It’s back to Batista for the hard clothesline but let’s hear more from JR about Goldberg’s patriotism and Bischoff being a jerk. I bet he’s a commie too.

Shawn finally gets away from Batista and makes the hot tag to Van Dam for a bunch of kicks. The referee gets crushed in the corner though and Van Dam’s running shoulder makes it even worse. Rolling Thunder hits Batista and there’s the Five Star but Flair makes a save. The Pedigree plants Van Dam for a very delayed two (something tells me they had to beg HHH to allow that kickout). Flair grabs the Figure Four and we take a break. Back with HHH staying on the leg and JR apologizing for the abrupt break (I blame France. They’re not AMERICANS.).

Flair comes in for some chops and let’s plug the heck out of the main event again. I mean, they only have an hour and a half to hype it up. Some kicks to the face drop HHH and another to Flair are enough for the hot tag off to Shawn as things pick up again. The atomic drop sets up the top rope elbow to HHH for no cover. Everything breaks down with Rob knocking Batista outside, followed by a dive onto Batista and Flair. Sweet Chin Music finishes HHH, meaning it’s time for another Shawn World Title feud.

Rating: C+. The really annoying bits of commentary aside, this worked well enough, even if you have Evolution lose their first match after getting all the gold the night before. Shawn getting the World Title feud is annoying as we were there just a year ago but at least it seems to be just for the Rumble and the match should be good. Rob vs. Batista could be interesting too if that’s the way they go.

Rico vs. Jon Heidenreich

Rematch from last night on Heat where Rico won thanks to Miss Jackie interference. JR: “You gotta keep your eye on the ball there, though that may not be the best term to use with Rico.” Heidenreich slaps on an early bearhug but Rico kisses his way to freedom. A hip swivel into an elbow drop gets two on John and let’s talk about AMERICA some more.

We go a little more conventional with the chinlock as Lawler is rather impressed by Jackie’s outfit. Ok fair enough. The BORING chants begin so Heidenreich powers up with a backdrop for two and Jackie is panicking. The referee nearly gets bumped so Jackie gets in a cheap shot, allowing Rico to hit a neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: D-. I can go with pushing someone but the ceiling on Rico is very low with this horrible character. Jackie is a great addition and plays the manager role well but there’s nowhere to go with Rico in this character. Heidenreich isn’t exactly doing well, mainly due to being left off of TV for a few weeks after debuting. At least there’s still time to tweak him though as he doesn’t have a character to speak of.

Jericho tries to talk to Trish, who says she now sees the real him. She doesn’t want him to talk to her again.

Chris Jericho vs. Kane

Jericho gets smart by dropkicking the knee as Kane comes in but a few more shots don’t get him very far. Kane punches away in the corner as the announcers actually talk about stuff related to the match. I’m as shocked as you are. A raised boot in the corner cuts Kane off and a missile dropkick gets one. You can hear JR starting to sympathize with Jericho being up against such odds here, meaning the face turn is starting to work, even in small increments. The Walls are broken up with ease and Kane sends him outside for a whip into the steps. That’s enough for Jericho, who hits him in the head with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: D. This wasn’t great but these two have never had the best chemistry. I’m interested in the face turn but I’ve always been a bigger fan of Jericho as a face than a heel. Having him try to be a good person to change Trish’s mind has long term potential, especially if WWE actually does it the right way for a change. In other words, don’t change course because they can’t be patient.

Post match Kane destroys him, including choking with a cord and a chokeslam. Christian comes out after Kane leaves but shoves Jericho down instead.

Earlier today, some Raw wrestlers were at an Air Force base.

Orton comes in to see Bischoff, who gives him a pep talk and tells him to think smart tonight. Bischoff wants Foley to chase Orton to wear him down. Ignore the locker room rumors that Orton can’t live up to his potential too. Orton freaks out at the idea of such rumors and is ready to step out of everyone’s shadows.

People wish Foley luck, including Shawn. Foley gives Shawn a World Title shot in two weeks.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Orton vs. Mick Foley

Orton is defending and this is billed as Winner Take All. Before the bell, Foley heads outside and slaps himself in the head a few times. Foley walks around for a bit….and leaves with his head down. No match.

Orton chases after Foley, who is leaving with his stuff. Bischoff catches up to Foley and asks what’s going on. If Foley leaves, he’s out of power. Foley keeps walking so here’s Orton to yell at him. Orton notices a tear in Foley’s eye and says legends don’t cry. He spits on Foley, who leaves without saying a word to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. And so, evil wins again. To recap, Goldberg is suspended and Foley walks away due to being a coward or whatever they’re going for there, all while Evolution reigns on high. Oh but wait: Shawn is getting a World Title shot and Austin might be back. That puts us right back where we were a few months ago, albeit with Shawn as the latest unlikely challenger to take the title from HHH.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Goldberg’s run was a nice breather, but HHH is the star of this show and there’s no way around it. This show is run by the villains and we’re lucky to get a month or so off from the status quo. Even when Goldberg was champion, he was injured and off the show for awhile while HHH dominated the show despite not even wrestling. Not a bad show this week, but a change from the HHH Show would be nice.

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 8, 2003
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Armageddon, which has really snuck up on me this year. The big story coming out of last week was Mick Foley being named the new co-General Manager of Raw and balancing out Eric Bischoff’s power mad rampage. I’m sure this will be a new and innovative story that has never been done before in WWE. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week, which saw Foley firing a bunch of people but then revealing that he was just joking to end the show. That’s quite the use of two hours.

Opening sequence.

Here are Chris Jericho and Christian with flowers to beg Trish and Lita’s forgiveness. Cue the ladies with Trish holding up a Canadian dollar. Jericho is shocked that this is what’s wrong because it was just a stupid joke. They recap the feud with Jericho trying to sweet talk his way out of things and Jericho begs forgiveness until she slaps him in the face. Trish and Lita beat the heck out of them with the flowers and it’s time for a match. Well with Christian and Jericho’s scheduled opponents.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Chris Jericho/Christian

Jericho/Christian are challenging and we’re joined in progress with D-Von elbowing Christian in the face and nailing a powerslam. It’s off to Jericho to stomp on Bubba and the Canadians start in on the leg as Trish and Lita glare from the floor. A chinlock sets up more stomping as they’re not exactly going deep into the heel offense playbook here.

Bubba grabs a Samoan drop to set up the hot tag to D-Von…who gets double teamed almost immediately. A blind tag brings Bubba back in for a hard clothesline with D-Von hitting another to put D-Von on the floor. Believe it or not, Bubba misses his middle rope backsplash and Jericho’s Lionsault gives Christian two. The Bubba Bomb gets the same and it’s the women going up to play D-Von in a double What’s Up. The 3D to Christian retains the titles.

Rating: C-. Kind of a boring match for the most part but anything with ticked off Trish and Lita at ringside is a good thing. There’s more to this story and I’m still interested in where things are going. Bubba and D-Von are good for this role as you could have them hold the titles for a long time and it’s not a stretch to have Christian and Jericho lose to them here. Good story for a not that bad match.

Evolution recaps the plans to get the World Title back on HHH. Randy Orton is cool with that but promises to leave Armageddon as the Intercontinental Champion.

Christian and Jericho rant to Bischoff so he makes a mixed tag at Armageddon.

Batista vs. Rob Van Dam

Non-title. Rob doesn’t bother with the feeling out stuff and kicks Batista to the floor early on. Back in and the shoulders in the corner are shrugged off with Batista’s hard clothesline. Rob gets shoved outside as Lawler keeps singing Evolution’s praises. Back in and Rob is put upside down in the Tree of Woe to no avail as he’s right back with more kicks.

A dropkick puts Batista down and the stepover kick does it again. It’s too early for the Five Star though and the ref gets bumped. The Batista Bomb is countered into a fairly botched hurricanrana but Flair breaks up the split legged moonsault. Now the Batista Bomb can connect for the pin.

Rating: D+. Batista is being brought along slowly but he can hit a great looking powerbomb. Rob losing here is fine as it sets up the numbers game problem on Sunday and the loss wasn’t clean. This was all it should have been and Rob’s botches didn’t even hurt it that badly.

Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Val Venis/Lance Storm

Before the match, Cade and Jindrak make it clear that they were NOT whining last week. Jindrak jumps Storm from behind and stomps away in the corner as Lawler is hoping that Storm and Venis’ ladies will be in one of Val’s films soon. A double suplex gets two and we hit the chinlock. Storm fights up and hits a dropkick, allowing the tag off to Venis so everything can break down. The Blue Thunder Bomb gets two on Jindrak but Cade’s distraction sets up a rollup (with trunks) to pin Venis. They didn’t have much time here and the match was really rushed.

Kane talks about killing his dog and leaving the carcass to rot in the woods. Every day he would go to see what was left of it, which made him feel good about himself. Goldberg being World Champion annoys him too so he’ll change that on Sunday.

Here’s Foley for a chat. He’s named himself guest referee for the Intercontinental Title match on Sunday, after several hours of consulting with himself. That brings him to Steve Austin, who needs to be reinstated. There are now over 500,000 signatures that want Austin back on Raw. We need more though so let’s pass this one around too. Before that can happen, here’s La Resistance to interrupt. They’re not cool with Foley humiliating him last week on national TV because Foley is a joke, JUST LIKE AMERICA!

We talk about Iraq some more (egads here we go again) and now it’s time to humiliate Foley. That’s why he’s going to salute the French flag or violence will ensue. Foley likes French fries, French toast and French’s mustard but he doesn’t like La Resistance. He’s not saluting the flag tonight so it’s almost on…..AND HERE’S THE ROCK! That wakes the fans up for the next year or so.

Rock isn’t sure what’s going on here because he knows Foley, he knows the people, he knows JR and King and he knows Lillian Garcia (“You still like the strudel?”) but he doesn’t know the two French guys. I think you know his reaction to their names and Rock wants to know if they were going to French kiss Foley to death. He accuses them of being a little Fifi themselves and threatens to smack their lips off their faces (that one never caught on). Dupree calls him Rocky and that doesn’t sit well with Rock.

They’re not going to win the Tag Team Titles on Sunday because one, they’re French and two, they suck. The French Army sucks too (and for some reason sounds like a Japanese stereotype) and would have surrendered to anyone. A tag match is teased until Foley calls the team the Sock N Rock Connection, which doesn’t sit well with Rock. The French guys jump them as they argue over the name but Rock remembers that he’s the Rock, meaning it’s time to nip up and beat the heck out of Dupree.

Mr. Socko sets up the spinebuster and People’s Elbow. Conway gets an Elbow of his own (from Foley this time) and Foley loads up Rock’s catchphrase. That is NOT cool though so Rock shows him how the tongue is supposed to go. Posing ensues and Rock even signs the Austin petition. This was a lot of fun and exactly the kind of a surprise that we needed after the boring stuff that goes on around here most weeks. Rock and Foley are always fun together and this was a blast all over again as it’s so rare to see Rock respect someone.

Bischoff has had Rock escorted from the building and makes Goldberg vs. Kane a lumberjack match with Bischoff himself picking the lumberjacks.

Booker T./Hurricane/Rosey vs. Mark Henry/Scott Steiner/Test

No Stacy Keibler in sight. Rosey runs Test over to start and drops a splash for two. It’s off to Hurricane for a rather positive reaction but Test tilt-a-whirl slams him down for some right hands. Steiner comes in for the push-up elbow and threatens Rosey with the same. A missed elbow allows the hot tag to Booker so house can be cleaned. The Spinarooni looks to set up the ax kick on Test but Henry comes in and runs people over as we take a break. Back with Henry dropping some big elbows and grabbing the chinlock.

Booker fights up but his rights and lefts have no effect. Henry’s clothesline gets two with Hurricane making the save and Steiner comes back in to some major booing. A forearm to the back keeps Booker down and Test slaps on a bearhug. Booker gets out with a spinebuster and brings in Hurricane to clean house. Hurricane’s neckbreaker drops Test but Henry comes in and runs him over, setting up the bearhug to knock Hurricane out for the win.

Rating: D. This was longer than it needed to be at nearly fifteen minutes, which didn’t help anyone but Henry. I know they’re going for the big monster push, but coming right after he lost to Goldberg isn’t the best strategy. He’s fine for what he is, but the bearhug and the monster offense feels like it’s out of the Hogan of the 1980s playbook.

Post match Booker gets bearhugged out as well.

Sign the petition!

Bischoff makes Evolution and Henry the lumberjacks.

The announcers recap the evening and run down the pay per view card.

Molly Holly/Victoria vs. Trish Stratus/Lita

Joined in progress with Trish chopping Molly in the corner as Jericho and Christian are watching from the ramp. A dropkick gives Trish two but Victoria gets in a knee from the apron. The spinning side slam gives Victoria two as Jericho wants Trish to show him what she has. It’s already back to Molly who powerbombs Trish to break up a hurricanrana attempt. Trish avoids a charge though and the hot tag brings in Lita for a monkey flip and an STO (there’s a combination you don’t often see). Cue Matt Hardy for a distraction though, allowing Molly and Victoria to hit a side slam/belly to back combo to pin Lita.

Rating: D+. Another uninspired match, as you probably guessed given how fast it had to go. Molly and Victoria have nothing going on, to the point where I completely forgot that Molly was Women’s Champion. Trish and Lita were the story of course here, and I’m almost scared to see what’s going to happen in the mixed tag.

Kane vs. Goldberg

Non-title lumberjack match. Goldberg goes right for him with heavy right hands and a shoulder but Kane sends him over the top. The obligatory lumberjack beatdown is on with JR saying they’d be in jail if not for Bischoff making them lumberjacks. Back in and Goldberg hammers away but gets thrown out again, meaning it’s time for Evolution to beat on him some more.

Kane nearly drops him on a side slam and it’s off to a sleeper. Goldberg gets up and counters the chokeslam into an FU, allowing him to send Kane outside. JR is INCENSED that the lumberjacks don’t beat on Kane so Goldberg goes outside and throws Kane back in himself. The spear is loaded up but Orton comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. Sloppy and not much to see here but at least they stuck with the formula that makes sense for the match. Keeping it short was the right move though as Goldberg is best used in short bursts. Sunday’s title match doesn’t do much for me but the triple threat lets HHH (who has managed to miss a good portion of the build while filming a movie) get the title back again without repeating the same match for what, the fourth time? Who cares if it’s not interesting for the fans?

The beat down is on so here are Rob Van Dam and Booker T. to get taken out as well. Shawn Michaels is in for the save with a “straight martial arts kick” (better known as Sweet Chin Music to everyone but JR) to Flair. Sweet Chin Music (JR got it that time) to Kane sets up the spear to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Rock’s segment came close to shaving this show but there’s only so much you can do on the go home show for a pay per view as lifeless as Sunday’s. This show is dying for someone with some energy near the top of the show as Goldberg is pretty obviously just holding the title for HHH and after that it’s a bunch of midcarders trying to be next in line to lose to HHH. That’s been the case for way too long now and it’s dragged the rest of the show down.

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