Monday Night Raw
Date: February 2, 2004
Location: Bryce Jordan Center, State College, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We’re pretty firmly in Wrestlemania season now with about a month and a half to go before the big show. Things started to pick up last week when Chris Benoit moved over to Raw and went straight after HHH and the World Heavyweight Championship. Shawn Michaels is still lurking around though and you know he doesn’t want anyone to go after his wrestling life partner like that. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Benoit debuting last week and throwing his hat in the World Heavyweight Title picture.

Opening sequence.

It’s already time for the Highlight Reel and Chris Jericho promises to give someone more exposure than Janet Jackson’s nipple. That would be his guest, Chris Benoit. Jericho congratulates him on winning the Rumble (Jericho: “Oh yeah. HE WON THE ROYAL RUMBLE!”) and praises Benoit’s brilliance for finding the loophole to get to Raw. He does however give Benoit a warning: Benoit isn’t just dealing with HHH, because now it’s Evolution and worst of all, Eric Bischoff.

Benoit appreciates it but no one is going to stop him from getting his World Title. Jericho thinks it might be Benoit that stops Benoit from winning the big one, which is something Jericho can relate to. We see a clip of Ric Flair telling Benoit that he always lets the brass ring slip from his fingers.

Cue Flair to say Benoit is a great physical specimen and one of the best technical wrestlers in the world but he’s a runner up. The man around here is HHH and Benoit is never going to be the man because he can’t beat the man. Benoit agrees with half of that, but at Wrestlemania he’s going to become the man. For now though, how about he fights Flair himself? This brings out Bischoff (Coach gives him a standing ovation) to make Flair/Batista vs. Jericho/Christian for the titles (rather than their scheduled #1 contenders match) instead. Benoit can have a match too, and that’s next.

Chris Benoit vs. Mark Henry

Benoit chops away and the sweat is flying off of Henry’s chest. Henry knocks him down with one shot but Benoit is right back with the kicks and chops. One heck of a clothesline puts Benoit down with Henry declaring this his world. That just means more chops until Benoit can get up top for a flying headbutt to a standing Henry. Cue HHH to watch as Henry blocks a German suplex but gets Crossfaced for the tap. Not exactly thrilling but Benoit won in a hurry.

Escape the Rules ad. Since when is this a heel promotion?

Steve Austin runs into Michaels in the back and tells him that if he wants another shot at HHH, go do something.

Video on last week’s Mick Foley/Randy Orton showdown. It was a very interesting start, but I’m not sure how strong the followup is going to/can be.

Foley is in the back when Test comes up to yell at him for costing him his spot in the Rumble. The distraction lets Orton jump Foley from behind with a belt shot. Orton declares Foley his b****.

Rene Dupree vs. Rico

The announcers start talking about the Janet Jackson incident, which sends us into a Playboy/Jackie Gayda flashing Conway last week discussion. Rico rides Dupree around to start and the USA chants begin. A snapmare sets up a neck crank on Rico but Dupree switches it to a chinlock to keep Rico on his toes. Well on the mat but close enough. Now it’s a chinlock on the mat as Lawler talks about Jackie taking her top off yet again.

Rico fights up so Dupree takes him back down for another neck crank. Yet AGAIN it’s switched to a chinlock and yet AGAIN Lawler oogles Jackie. Good grief yeah she looks great but shut up already. Rico finally fights up for good and kicks Dupree in the head for two. They fight in the corner but here’s Stacy Keibler at ringside as Conway breaks up a monkey flip. Stacy gets on the apron to distract Dupree, allowing Rico to roll him up for the pin.

Rating: D-. Was there anything worthwhile in this match? The one with back to back nerve holds into chinlocks because that’s the best this show can do anymore? Throw in the fact that it’s Rene Dupree and Rico and I have no idea what is supposed to interest me here. Oh yeah the Playboy thing. How thrilling.

Post match Stacy and Jackie dance together.

Trish Stratus is getting ready but runs into Christian, holding a Rolling Stone Magazine about the Beatles. Christian talks about Yoko Ono breaking the band up, which wouldn’t have happened with him around. Instead he would have given Yoko a one man Conchairto before she could split the band up. Anyway, good luck Trish.

Linda McMahon spoke to college voters.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly

Molly is defending….or at least will at one point, as Bischoff comes out to say this isn’t happening because Trish isn’t #1 contender. Here’s what we get instead.

Trish Stratus vs. Kane

Staring, fear, Jericho running in for the save.

Trish gets away but Kane takes out Jericho’s knee with a chair and a posting.

Post break Trish checks on Jericho, who rants about Bischoff.

Kane is still in the ring so let’s do this instead.

Goldberg vs. Kane

Goldberg hugs a special needs kid on the way in. You hear about his work with kids a lot and that’s just cool. Goldberg shoulders him down but gets booted in the face. A choke doesn’t work and Kane hits a side slam for two. That means a chinlock (Kane must be a Dupree fan) but Kane lets him up pretty quickly, switching to a choke in the corner instead. The chokeslam cuts off Goldberg’s comeback….and a bolt of lightning hits the ring. The blue lights come on and the Undertaker video plays as Kane freaks out. Goldberg hits a spear as the gong strikes and the ring fills with smoke. We’ll call it a no contest.

Rating: D+. Not a bad power match here which Kane can do well enough under the right circumstances. I’m surprised Goldberg got beaten up this badly but at least it seems to be heading to a pair of matches at Wrestlemania. Now whether or not you want to watch them may be up for debate, but at least they have a plan.

Booker T. vs. Matt Hardy

Matt, who has never run out of gas while driving and his chest hair grows swiftly, has a perfectly healthy neck here, unlike Booker, whose neck was injured on Heat. Matt hits a clothesline and a hot shot to play up the neck issues. We hit a sleeper (better than another chinlock) as the announcers talk about Mark Henry’s shoulder being popped out of socket by the Crossface. That’s the kind of thing you can say that makes the hold look that much better.

Matt’s elbow to the back of the neck gets two and it’s off to a full nelson. A legdrop gets two as you can’t accuse Matt of sticking with the same moves over and over. The Side Effect gets two more and frustration is setting in. So it back pain in the form of a spinebuster from Booker. The side kick gets two on Matt and Booker kicks him in the face. Booker blocks the Twist and it’s an ax kick so we can hear Booker’s bad hip hop song again.

Rating: D+. Matt loses again but you can’t fault his psychology. You can see the difference between the Rico vs. Dupree match with one chinlock after another and this one, with Matt running through a variety of stuff to work on the bad neck. It didn’t go anywhere, but at least he was trying and that’s better than a lot of the matches you see.

Shawn is wiping HHH’s blood off his boot when Orton comes up. Trash is talked but Shawn isn’t having any of this and scares Orton off.

Here’s HHH, in ring gear, for a chat. He talks about next week’s contract signing with Benoit and after that, Benoit has no way out. They’ll be locked in to a match at Wrestlemania and when they get into the ring together, HHH will turn Benoit’s dreams into nightmares. Oh and also next week, Benoit gets Flair. For now though, here’s a demonstration.

HHH vs. Spike Dudley

Non-title. HHH turns his back so Spike hits a forearm, only to be kneed in the face for his efforts. Another knee to the face has Spike in trouble so he grabs HHH’s leg. The Pedigree ends Spike in a hurry. It’s better than HHH talking.

Austin comes to see Goldberg, who isn’t happy with Brock Lesnar. However, Austin just happens to have a front row ticket to next week’s No Way Out. Don’t do anything that Austin wouldn’t do.

Tag Team Titles: Christian/Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair/Batista

Flair and Batista are defending and Jericho is limping badly from Kane’s attack earlier in the night. Christian and Flair start things off and they hit the mat in a hurry. An abdominal stretch goes nowhere so Christian suplexes him instead. Batista comes in off the blind tag though and there’s a slam to take Christian down. One heck of a backbreaker keeps Christian in trouble and that’s it for Batista, which might be the best idea given his rather limited offense.

Back up and Christian rams heads with Flair for a double knockdown. Jericho comes in to start chopping away (gimmick infringer) as everything breaks down. Batista gets sent to the floor and a dive takes him out, leaving Jericho to bang up his knee on a missed Lionsault. He’s fine enough to get the Walls on for the tap but Batista sneaks back in to hit the knee. The Figure Four retains the titles.

Rating: D. Not enough time to go anywhere, which is a shame given what these teams could put together. Jericho tapping is fine enough given his injury and Christian can yell at him for giving up their chance at the titles. Flair and Batista aren’t great champions but it makes for a good visual with Evolution and that’s about as good as it could get at the moment. Still though, bad match, mainly due to the lack of time.

Wrestlemania Recall: Shawn’s entrance at Wrestlemania XII. Fair enough as that was a heck of a visual.

Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton

Non-title. The referee has to separate them in the corner to start so Shawn tries a headlock takeover instead. The announcers are thrilled as they get a chance to talk about everything other than the match, including every dumb thing that has happened tonight. Back up and Orton kicks away in the corner, followed by some uppercuts for good measure. The referee gets dropkicked pretty early on so Orton grabs the belt.

That goes nowhere though as here’s Austin, on the ATV, with another referee. Now that’s how you make a delivery. Austin takes the original referee, and the title, with him and leaves. Michaels is back up and throws some right hands but they fall to the floor with Shawn holding his knee. Back from a break with Shawn fighting out of a chinlock but Orton knees him back down. That means another chinlock with a knee in the back as the knee injury seems to have vanished.

Shawn fights up, gets taken down, and we hit the third chinlock in a row. Shawn’s comeback sleeper is countered with a belly to back suplex and Orton goes up. The high crossbody misses, but I’m more interested in JR saying Coach looks like he’s wearing a condom on his head. Shawn hits the forearm and nips up, followed by the top rope elbow. Both finishers are countered so Orton gets in a DDT. Cue Foley for a distraction though and Shawn grabs a rollup for the fast pin.

Rating: C. At least it wasn’t a clean loss for the champ, but I’m really not liking the idea of Orton getting pinned by anyone at the moment. He’s in a big story so just have Foley come in and deck him for earlier or chase him off for a countout or something. Also, what was up with the Austin deal? What a random cameo that added nothing to the match.

Post match Foley comes in and beats on Orton, including a clothesline to the floor. Foley knocks Orton into the crowd so here’s HHH to send Evolution after them. HHH goes after Shawn but here’s Benoit before it can get physical. The champ leaves and Benoit shakes Shawn’s hand to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The show itself was pretty terrible but you can see where a lot of things are going, which always a positive sign. You know Wrestlemania XX is going to get a big build and they’re giving it as much time as they can, at least on Raw. Things can get better with the drama being built up, but there was too much filler/focusing on the weaker stories here to really make this week work.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 26, 2004
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after the Royal Rumble and things didn’t go so well for Raw. The Rumble itself was won by Smackdown’s Chris Benoit and the Raw World Title match went to a draw, meaning the World Title situation is kind of up in the air. Raw won’t be back on pay per view until Wrestlemania so their TV needs to be very good. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the Royal Rumble if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Mick Foley returning last night, showing that he’s not a coward by attacking Randy Orton. The terrified look on Orton’s face is great.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Chris Jericho to open things up. He’s not happy that Benoit won the Rumble instead of him, but since Benoit is on Smackdown and Jericho was the last Raw wrestler in the Rumble, he should be getting a title shot. Say, TONIGHT. Actually, let’s just make that his Survivor Series favor. He wants to defend the title in New Hampshire, Wyoming, the Dakotas, Florida, and then in New York, complete with the Howard Dean scream. I haven’t heard that referenced in a good while so it got a small chuckle.

Cue Eric Bischoff, to say the title match is on….if that’s what Jericho wants. If he takes that match though, Trish Stratus has to face Kane. See, Bischoff is embarrassed that Raw lost the Rumble again so being the last Raw wrestler means nothing. So tonight, it’s either a title shot or no Trish vs. Kane. Jericho gives Bischoff a look that means the match is off but Bischoff isn’t done. Since Jericho and Rob Van Dam were the last Raw names in the match, they’re teaming up tonight to face Evolution (sans HHH)…..NOW. Are we at least done with the Survivor Series favors now?

Chris Jericho/Rob Van Dam vs. Evolution

Jericho and Flair lock up to start and a dropkick puts Flair down. Flair pokes him in the eye to take over as JR says he hasn’t seen Flair make many mistakes over the years. Uh, yeah. Orton comes in and eats a spinwheel kick so it’s off to Van Dam for the first time. The kicks and chops have Orton in trouble and charging into Jericho’s raised boot in the corner makes things even worse.

Orton finally knees Van Dam down and drops a forearm for two as things slow down a good bit. A spinwheel kick drops Flair and a flip splash gets two with Orton coming in for the save. Everything breaks down for a few seconds and Jericho is spinebustered on the outside, leaving Van Dam on his own as we take a break. Back with Van Dam in trouble and Jericho being checked on by the trainers.

Flair starts in on the arm and it’s off to Orton, as Batista still hasn’t actually been in the match. The short armscissors stays on as Jericho is up to his knees for an improvement. Batista comes in as the fans try to get behind Jericho. Orton steps on the arm again as Jericho is now back to the apron. It says a lot when you can make walking to your corner a story within a match and actually have it work. A kick to the face finally gets Van Dam over to Jericho and it’s time to pick the pace up in a hurry.

The bulldog gets two on Batista and Orton is backdropped to the floor. There are the Walls to Batista and a Five Star to Flair but Orton runs in to….completely miss the RKO on Jericho, who doesn’t even move off of Batista because Orton (Stupid! Stupid!) wasn’t close. The second attempt works fine though (with a strategic camera angle just in case) and Batista gets the pin.

Rating: C+. That botch at the end hurt things a lot as they were doing well with Jericho being cut off for so long until the hot tag. Evolution is a good choice for a team like this as you have a little bit of everything in there to make the team work well. They had to work hard but still won and it’s not like Van Dam and Jericho are damaged by losing a handicap match.

Post break Orton is in Bischoff’s office and wants revenge on Foley. Steve Austin comes in and says Foley is going to get to talk first though.

Trish comes in to check on Jericho and thank him for getting her out of the match with Kane. She thinks they could have a good relationship….as friends. Not as friendly as he is with Christian, like going out on the town or anything and helping him pick up women. Cue Christian, who Jericho doesn’t seem happy to see. Trish leaves and Jericho wants to know where Christian was during that handicap match. Christian was in Bischoff’s office, getting the two of them a #1 contenders match for the Tag Team Titles next week. Jericho just needs to get his head in the game. I love this story.

Molly Holly/Jazz vs. Victoria/Lita

Fallout from Victoria pinning Molly on Heat last night. During Lita’s entrance, Lawler mentions rumors that Playboy is looking for a pair of Divas to pose together. I mean, they’ve already been found and announced at this point, but Lawler hasn’t been up to speed on anything in years. Lita and Molly start things up with Holly being thrown into the corner for some good old fashioned begging off. It’s off to Victoria vs. Jazz, who hit the mat with Jazz getting the better of things.

Victoria gets sent outside, setting up an argument between Stevie Richards and Teddy Long. I think I need to see those two have a match at some point. Molly comes back in for a reverse cravate and it’s back to Jazz for the same thing. The splash misses though as Lawler asks JR how he can’t comment on the wrestlers’ looks. Lita gets the hot tag and cleans house to mere indifference from the crowd. With Lita and Jazz fighting on the floor, Victoria small packages Molly for the pin. Lawler: “ARE YOU WATCHING PLAYBOY???”

Rating: D+. I know it’s not the best change of pace in the world and they still need some fresh blood, but Victoria as a face could do some good for the pretty weak division. Molly isn’t doing anything as champion though and the lack of charisma near the title is hurting things a lot. In other words, they need a shakeup but a shakeup that actually makes a long term difference.

Here’s HHH for a chat with the announcers treating his Last Man Standing match with Shawn like some kind of epic struggle. HHH says last night, two men fought for what they believed in and it came down to one second as neither was able to get up at ten. Cue Shawn Michaels so HHH asks what it takes to get Shawn to quit. Shawn says they haven’t even gotten started yet but thankfully here’s Austin to cut things off before we get a fifteen minute exchange about whatever these two decided this is about next.

Austin talks about how last night reminded him of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and thinks Shawn deserves a rematch. However, there’s one more problem and that’s the Royal Rumble. Chris Benoit won that match last night and gets a shot at whichever World Title he wants…which is a new development as nothing had been mentioned about being able to pick the title.

Cue Benoit to stare at both of them and say he went through a hard night of his own. He’s fought eighteen years to be the best and now he has the opportunity to face the best. At Wrestlemania, Benoit is coming for the World Heavyweight Championship, no matter who has it. So there’s the big Raw match in a surprise.

Kane vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Bubba is fighting for Spike after Kane attacked him last night. Some right hands have Kane in trouble to start and a big one puts him on the floor. Kane has far better success on the floor with some uppercuts having Bubba in trouble. Back in and Kane rips at Bubba’s face, including a hard thumb in the eye. Kane grabs the steps and blasts the blind Bubba for the DQ.

Post match D-Von runs in for the save and eats a Tombstone…which triggers the gong. The Titantron goes nuts and we see one of the weird Undertaker videos, featuring the graveyard and Kane burying Undertaker at Survivor Series. Kane freaks and bails.

Paul Heyman is on the phone with Bischoff, who didn’t know what Austin was going to do. Heyman promises lawyers and hangs up with Coach coming in instead. Coach finds the whole thing funny and gets to face Goldberg in a No DQ match as a result.

Rico vs. Rob Conway

Rico takes him down to annoy Conway to start but Rene Dupree gets in a few cheap shots on the floor to take over. Back in and Conway threatens to break Rico’s neck, which is a little harsher than it needs to be. A clothesline sets up the chinlock as Jackie slaps the mat in an already loose top, sending Lawler through the roof.

We cut away for a second and come back to her holding it in place, making me wonder how that went live. Rico fights up with right hands and clotheslines but Rene pops up on the apron for a distraction. Not to be outdone, Jackie does the same, pulls her top off to really distract Conway, and allows Rico to kick Conway in the face for the pin.

Rating: D-. This is going to be about the Playboy thing isn’t it? There’s no other logical reason to give these two more than eighteen seconds on Raw so it has to be some other thing, such as pushing an angle that has already been spoiled in advance. At least it means more of Jackie, which is the only good part of the whole thing.

Post match Stacy Keibler comes out and raises Jackie’s hand to hint at Playboy. Moving on.

Wrestlemania Recall: Wrestlemania IX, with a grand total of no wrestling shown.

Mick Foley arrives.

We look at Brock Lesnar attacking Goldberg last night, setting up his elimination.

Coach comes out to face Goldberg but first he begs Bischoff to reconsider the match because no one wants to see this. Hang on though, because here are Teddy Long and Mark Henry. Teddy thinks it’s unfair for a “cracker” like Bischoff to dump his problems on the black man. That’s blatant haterizing because whitey thinks he can tell the black man to dance. Teddy gives Coach Henry for the night and we’re ready to go.

Goldberg vs. Jonathan Coachman

No DQ and Henry is in the ring for Coach. Henry shoves Goldberg around to start so Goldberg gives him a head fake into a clothesline. Coach stays in the corner as Henry gets in a splash and runs Goldberg over for a bonus. The bearhug doesn’t do much to Goldberg, who breaks out and knocks Henry to the floor, leaving Coach to take the spear and Jackhammer for the pin with a boot on the chest. Lillian: “Here is your winner: JO…GOLDBERG!”

Rating: F+. Remember those other times where Goldberg has beaten Henry up without much efforts? Well this time he did the same thing to Coach at the same time. Goldberg vs. Lesnar is all but a lock for Wrestlemania now and having Goldberg beat up Coach and Henry isn’t exactly a great way to get me fired up for it. Find some new people for Goldberg to beat up instead.

Here’s Mick Foley for his big return speech. Foley says an explanation is in order after he walked out on the company back in December. When fans talk about his career, they say a lot of nice things about his guts and courage, but they overlook his hatred. Foley was able to reach deep down into his heart and channel what he found there into some superhuman things in the ring.

That was fine when he was an active wrestler but things have changed today. Foley talks about Pete Rose working as hard as he could because he was mad at the world, which was cool with Rose was in a uniform. Seeing that same man angry at the world at 61 years old while he lies about betting on baseball is just sad. That’s not what Foley wanted to be, and it took him a long time to let go of the hatred after he retired. It was a big, big mistake to take the match with Orton in the first place because he knew he couldn’t reach down into the hatred again.

Foley calls Orton, on his own, out to the ring so here he is to respond. Orton asks what Foley wants….and it’s for Orton to spit in his face again. That’s going to be a no, so Foley shouts about all the blood he’s spilled over the years until Orton spits on him. Foley then turns the other cheek and asks Orton to do it even harder this time. You can see the confusion in Orton’s eyes as Foley says he wants this one to be extra green. Orton does it and Foley cheers for him, even asking for a closeup.

Foley is used to having things like this happen to him because he’s got four kids. That brings Foley to all the commercials that Orton’s “friends” aired because people started believing what they were saying. The spit on his face is spitting on his legacy and Foley cannot accept this, so he hits himself in the head, drawing blood. He suffered and worked too long to have Orton spit on his legacy.

Foley saw his ear thrown away in Munich, Germany and got beaten up in Nigeria and now he’s in that dark place again. There is a time and a place for hatred and that is right now in Hershey, Pennsylvania. Foley beats him down in the corner and hits the running knee but here’s Evolution for the save. A clothesline puts him on the floor but Foley comes back with a chair to clean house and end the show.

It took me some time to get into this one but Foley completely sold me by the end. He started off with the rather goofy spit stuff but then pulled Orton into the deep end, with Orton’s face perfectly selling the idea that he knew he was in WAY over his head. Foley knows how to get down into that deep, dark area and Orton isn’t even two years into his main roster career yet. This was a really weird way to get to a great place, but they better have Orton ready to come back against him because otherwise, this is going to be a really messy story.

Overall Rating: C. As tends to be the case around this time of year, the wrestling (outside of the opener) wasn’t the point here but the storytelling worked. Benoit coming over to Raw is a good idea as we’ve seen him face Lesnar already. The Foley story is very promising but is also walking a thin line. You can tell that it’s Wrestlemania season and if they stop giving Lawler so much time to yell about the Playboy thing, we could be in for a great road to New York.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 15, 2003
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re closing in on the end of the year and to the shock of no one, it’s all about HHH again. This time though he’s nice enough to allow the rest of Evolution to join in as they swept the titles last night at Armageddon. That means we’re on the way to the Royal Rumble, where I’m sure HHH will give a rub to some young whippersnapper. Let’s get to it.

Here are the Armageddon results if you need a recap.

Here’s Evolution with all of the titles to open things up. HHH brags about claiming all of the gold last night because Evolution was always going to change the industry. Goldberg’s fans wanted to believe the hype but he’s HHH and with him there is no hype necessary. Tonight, the golden rule of Evolution begins: they have all the gold so they make all the rules. You know they didn’t have to ask HHH twice to do that speech.

Opening sequence.

Trish Stratus/Lita vs. Chris Jericho/Christian

Rematch from last night. Trish isn’t exactly as fired up as usual here and Lawler hurt his voice screaming at last night’s match. Jericho and Trish start things off and again, Jericho isn’t thrilled with having to do this. Instead he tags Christian, which is a great way to show how he feels: bring in someone willing to beat the heck out of Trish.

Lita offers a slap though and Trish gets two off a rollup. Christian shoves her into the corner though, sending JR into a major rant, including about how much worse that is during the holidays. It’s off to Lita, who slips out of a slam and rakes the eyes but Jericho pulls her down by the hair. Jericho comes in for a slam of his own as Lawler is worried about Christian’s eyes. Lita shoves Christian off the top and tries a moonsault press…but doesn’t rotate at all, basically making it a reverse top rope shoulder.

Thankfully there’s no broken neck or anything and it’s off to Trish for two off a high crossbody. Christian clotheslines the heck out of both of them for two, pulling Trish up before three. Instead it’s an Unprettier for one as Jericho breaks up the cover. Jericho shoves Christian down and the match is stopped due to Trish being banged up.

Rating: D. That botch was terrible and the ending was a storyline advancement instead of anything noteworthy. Jericho getting closer to the face turn is interesting as this is starting to get a lot better. They could use this to change a lot about Jericho and that’s a good thing, especially considering how long he’s been a heel at the moment.

Post match Bischoff comes out and yells at Jericho. Chris yells right back and says this was a horrible idea. Jericho goes to leave but Bischoff makes Jericho vs. Kane for later tonight. With Jericho gone, Bischoff says he has an idea to reshape Raw forever (yes another one) and wants Foley out here for it. Post break here’s Foley who wants to talk about Steve Austin returning. Two weeks from tonight, he’ll be pleading his case with the Board of Directors and Austin will be there as well.

Bischoff calls Foley a disappointment because the fans want him to be the Hardcore Legend. We see a video on Foley’s career (I believe the old Desire video), which focuses heavily on Foley being beaten up. Bischoff wants Foley back in the ring and Foley has actually been thinking about returning. Say, against Bischoff for example. He’ll be back in the ring one day, but on his own terms.

Bischoff has his own idea though: Foley vs. Randy Orton tonight with Foley and Bischoff’s jobs on the line. Foley wisely says no because he knows what Bischoff is going to try. He knows Evolution will be out there, so Foley wants to get to pick the referee. Foley picks….Earl Hebner, but also wants Evolution and Bischoff banned from ringside.

Bischoff agrees but we’re STILL not done because Foley makes it a title match. That’s a big main event, and as usual, WWE is incapable of allowing more than an hour and a half to build it up. Why is that always the case? Also, that’s Bischoff’s earth shaking idea? Foley wrestling again? Or was it getting rid of the other GM and taking us back…two weeks?

Next week: the Best of 2003. So it’s a five minute show?

Booker T./Maven vs. Mark Henry/Matt Hardy

The Huffman Brothers unite. Matt, who always utilizes toilet seat covers, has to deal with Maven’s right hands and dropkicks to start. Maven’s charge misses in the corner though and it’s off to Henry to take over. A few hard shots have Maven down again and Matt comes back in to crank on both arms at once. More right hands in the corner keep Maven in trouble but a Russian legsweep is enough for the tag to Booker. Some forearms and a spinebuster get no cover because it’s Spinarooni time. Henry is low bridged to the floor and the ax kick finishes Matt.

Rating: D. Just a match here with Maven being as uninteresting as he could possibly be. He doesn’t have a look, he doesn’t do well in the ring and he can’t talk but he won a reality show about three years ago so we get to see him on Raw. Hopefully Booker vs. Henry is done as there’s not much of a point in continuing the thing when Booker pinned him clean last night.

Coach tries to interview Goldberg but gets beaten up behind a closed door. He is then thrown through said closed door.

Here’s La Resistance to mock Rock calling them, ahem, Fifi last week. That’s not the case but here’s Goldberg to destroy both of them. La Resistance was introduced for a match but there wasn’t even a referee in the ring. Goldberg breaks a French flag and waves an American one. WE GET IT ALREADY! FRANCE SUCKS AND AMERICA IS THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER! NOW MOVE ON! Cue Bischoff to suspend Goldberg for thirty days.

Post break: JR: “I DESPISE ERIC BISCHOFF!” He rants about Goldberg being suspended for showing his patriotism and thankfully Lawler calms things down.

Foley is talking about wrestling being an addiction and asks someone if it’s something you can do once. He’s talking to Shawn Michaels, who says Mick is preaching to the choir. This business is like the mob: every time you think you’re out, they pull you back in. Shawn says it’s all worth it. Foley asks for his flannel shirt.

Shawn Michaels/Rob Van Dam vs. HHH/Ric Flair/Batista

Batista and Van Dam starts but Batista wants Shawn instead. That’s fine with Michaels and thankfully Batista doesn’t tag out like so many others would do. Shawn speeds things up and decks HHH and Flair, drawing them in for a standoff. Batista powers him into the corner though and it’s off to HHH, who gets punched down without much effort. Van Dam comes in to work on the arm so it’s off to Flair, who gets kicked in the face.

A poke to the eye cuts Shawn off (he never was that bright) and a right hand from HHH from the apron makes things even worse. Now it’s HHH coming in again and it’s amazing how much more energetic he seems here than in any Goldberg match. It’s back to Batista for the hard clothesline but let’s hear more from JR about Goldberg’s patriotism and Bischoff being a jerk. I bet he’s a commie too.

Shawn finally gets away from Batista and makes the hot tag to Van Dam for a bunch of kicks. The referee gets crushed in the corner though and Van Dam’s running shoulder makes it even worse. Rolling Thunder hits Batista and there’s the Five Star but Flair makes a save. The Pedigree plants Van Dam for a very delayed two (something tells me they had to beg HHH to allow that kickout). Flair grabs the Figure Four and we take a break. Back with HHH staying on the leg and JR apologizing for the abrupt break (I blame France. They’re not AMERICANS.).

Flair comes in for some chops and let’s plug the heck out of the main event again. I mean, they only have an hour and a half to hype it up. Some kicks to the face drop HHH and another to Flair are enough for the hot tag off to Shawn as things pick up again. The atomic drop sets up the top rope elbow to HHH for no cover. Everything breaks down with Rob knocking Batista outside, followed by a dive onto Batista and Flair. Sweet Chin Music finishes HHH, meaning it’s time for another Shawn World Title feud.

Rating: C+. The really annoying bits of commentary aside, this worked well enough, even if you have Evolution lose their first match after getting all the gold the night before. Shawn getting the World Title feud is annoying as we were there just a year ago but at least it seems to be just for the Rumble and the match should be good. Rob vs. Batista could be interesting too if that’s the way they go.

Rico vs. Jon Heidenreich

Rematch from last night on Heat where Rico won thanks to Miss Jackie interference. JR: “You gotta keep your eye on the ball there, though that may not be the best term to use with Rico.” Heidenreich slaps on an early bearhug but Rico kisses his way to freedom. A hip swivel into an elbow drop gets two on John and let’s talk about AMERICA some more.

We go a little more conventional with the chinlock as Lawler is rather impressed by Jackie’s outfit. Ok fair enough. The BORING chants begin so Heidenreich powers up with a backdrop for two and Jackie is panicking. The referee nearly gets bumped so Jackie gets in a cheap shot, allowing Rico to hit a neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: D-. I can go with pushing someone but the ceiling on Rico is very low with this horrible character. Jackie is a great addition and plays the manager role well but there’s nowhere to go with Rico in this character. Heidenreich isn’t exactly doing well, mainly due to being left off of TV for a few weeks after debuting. At least there’s still time to tweak him though as he doesn’t have a character to speak of.

Jericho tries to talk to Trish, who says she now sees the real him. She doesn’t want him to talk to her again.

Chris Jericho vs. Kane

Jericho gets smart by dropkicking the knee as Kane comes in but a few more shots don’t get him very far. Kane punches away in the corner as the announcers actually talk about stuff related to the match. I’m as shocked as you are. A raised boot in the corner cuts Kane off and a missile dropkick gets one. You can hear JR starting to sympathize with Jericho being up against such odds here, meaning the face turn is starting to work, even in small increments. The Walls are broken up with ease and Kane sends him outside for a whip into the steps. That’s enough for Jericho, who hits him in the head with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: D. This wasn’t great but these two have never had the best chemistry. I’m interested in the face turn but I’ve always been a bigger fan of Jericho as a face than a heel. Having him try to be a good person to change Trish’s mind has long term potential, especially if WWE actually does it the right way for a change. In other words, don’t change course because they can’t be patient.

Post match Kane destroys him, including choking with a cord and a chokeslam. Christian comes out after Kane leaves but shoves Jericho down instead.

Earlier today, some Raw wrestlers were at an Air Force base.

Orton comes in to see Bischoff, who gives him a pep talk and tells him to think smart tonight. Bischoff wants Foley to chase Orton to wear him down. Ignore the locker room rumors that Orton can’t live up to his potential too. Orton freaks out at the idea of such rumors and is ready to step out of everyone’s shadows.

People wish Foley luck, including Shawn. Foley gives Shawn a World Title shot in two weeks.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Orton vs. Mick Foley

Orton is defending and this is billed as Winner Take All. Before the bell, Foley heads outside and slaps himself in the head a few times. Foley walks around for a bit….and leaves with his head down. No match.

Orton chases after Foley, who is leaving with his stuff. Bischoff catches up to Foley and asks what’s going on. If Foley leaves, he’s out of power. Foley keeps walking so here’s Orton to yell at him. Orton notices a tear in Foley’s eye and says legends don’t cry. He spits on Foley, who leaves without saying a word to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. And so, evil wins again. To recap, Goldberg is suspended and Foley walks away due to being a coward or whatever they’re going for there, all while Evolution reigns on high. Oh but wait: Shawn is getting a World Title shot and Austin might be back. That puts us right back where we were a few months ago, albeit with Shawn as the latest unlikely challenger to take the title from HHH.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Goldberg’s run was a nice breather, but HHH is the star of this show and there’s no way around it. This show is run by the villains and we’re lucky to get a month or so off from the status quo. Even when Goldberg was champion, he was injured and off the show for awhile while HHH dominated the show despite not even wrestling. Not a bad show this week, but a change from the HHH Show would be nice.

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 8, 2003
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Armageddon, which has really snuck up on me this year. The big story coming out of last week was Mick Foley being named the new co-General Manager of Raw and balancing out Eric Bischoff’s power mad rampage. I’m sure this will be a new and innovative story that has never been done before in WWE. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week, which saw Foley firing a bunch of people but then revealing that he was just joking to end the show. That’s quite the use of two hours.

Opening sequence.

Here are Chris Jericho and Christian with flowers to beg Trish and Lita’s forgiveness. Cue the ladies with Trish holding up a Canadian dollar. Jericho is shocked that this is what’s wrong because it was just a stupid joke. They recap the feud with Jericho trying to sweet talk his way out of things and Jericho begs forgiveness until she slaps him in the face. Trish and Lita beat the heck out of them with the flowers and it’s time for a match. Well with Christian and Jericho’s scheduled opponents.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Chris Jericho/Christian

Jericho/Christian are challenging and we’re joined in progress with D-Von elbowing Christian in the face and nailing a powerslam. It’s off to Jericho to stomp on Bubba and the Canadians start in on the leg as Trish and Lita glare from the floor. A chinlock sets up more stomping as they’re not exactly going deep into the heel offense playbook here.

Bubba grabs a Samoan drop to set up the hot tag to D-Von…who gets double teamed almost immediately. A blind tag brings Bubba back in for a hard clothesline with D-Von hitting another to put D-Von on the floor. Believe it or not, Bubba misses his middle rope backsplash and Jericho’s Lionsault gives Christian two. The Bubba Bomb gets the same and it’s the women going up to play D-Von in a double What’s Up. The 3D to Christian retains the titles.

Rating: C-. Kind of a boring match for the most part but anything with ticked off Trish and Lita at ringside is a good thing. There’s more to this story and I’m still interested in where things are going. Bubba and D-Von are good for this role as you could have them hold the titles for a long time and it’s not a stretch to have Christian and Jericho lose to them here. Good story for a not that bad match.

Evolution recaps the plans to get the World Title back on HHH. Randy Orton is cool with that but promises to leave Armageddon as the Intercontinental Champion.

Christian and Jericho rant to Bischoff so he makes a mixed tag at Armageddon.

Batista vs. Rob Van Dam

Non-title. Rob doesn’t bother with the feeling out stuff and kicks Batista to the floor early on. Back in and the shoulders in the corner are shrugged off with Batista’s hard clothesline. Rob gets shoved outside as Lawler keeps singing Evolution’s praises. Back in and Rob is put upside down in the Tree of Woe to no avail as he’s right back with more kicks.

A dropkick puts Batista down and the stepover kick does it again. It’s too early for the Five Star though and the ref gets bumped. The Batista Bomb is countered into a fairly botched hurricanrana but Flair breaks up the split legged moonsault. Now the Batista Bomb can connect for the pin.

Rating: D+. Batista is being brought along slowly but he can hit a great looking powerbomb. Rob losing here is fine as it sets up the numbers game problem on Sunday and the loss wasn’t clean. This was all it should have been and Rob’s botches didn’t even hurt it that badly.

Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Val Venis/Lance Storm

Before the match, Cade and Jindrak make it clear that they were NOT whining last week. Jindrak jumps Storm from behind and stomps away in the corner as Lawler is hoping that Storm and Venis’ ladies will be in one of Val’s films soon. A double suplex gets two and we hit the chinlock. Storm fights up and hits a dropkick, allowing the tag off to Venis so everything can break down. The Blue Thunder Bomb gets two on Jindrak but Cade’s distraction sets up a rollup (with trunks) to pin Venis. They didn’t have much time here and the match was really rushed.

Kane talks about killing his dog and leaving the carcass to rot in the woods. Every day he would go to see what was left of it, which made him feel good about himself. Goldberg being World Champion annoys him too so he’ll change that on Sunday.

Here’s Foley for a chat. He’s named himself guest referee for the Intercontinental Title match on Sunday, after several hours of consulting with himself. That brings him to Steve Austin, who needs to be reinstated. There are now over 500,000 signatures that want Austin back on Raw. We need more though so let’s pass this one around too. Before that can happen, here’s La Resistance to interrupt. They’re not cool with Foley humiliating him last week on national TV because Foley is a joke, JUST LIKE AMERICA!

We talk about Iraq some more (egads here we go again) and now it’s time to humiliate Foley. That’s why he’s going to salute the French flag or violence will ensue. Foley likes French fries, French toast and French’s mustard but he doesn’t like La Resistance. He’s not saluting the flag tonight so it’s almost on…..AND HERE’S THE ROCK! That wakes the fans up for the next year or so.

Rock isn’t sure what’s going on here because he knows Foley, he knows the people, he knows JR and King and he knows Lillian Garcia (“You still like the strudel?”) but he doesn’t know the two French guys. I think you know his reaction to their names and Rock wants to know if they were going to French kiss Foley to death. He accuses them of being a little Fifi themselves and threatens to smack their lips off their faces (that one never caught on). Dupree calls him Rocky and that doesn’t sit well with Rock.

They’re not going to win the Tag Team Titles on Sunday because one, they’re French and two, they suck. The French Army sucks too (and for some reason sounds like a Japanese stereotype) and would have surrendered to anyone. A tag match is teased until Foley calls the team the Sock N Rock Connection, which doesn’t sit well with Rock. The French guys jump them as they argue over the name but Rock remembers that he’s the Rock, meaning it’s time to nip up and beat the heck out of Dupree.

Mr. Socko sets up the spinebuster and People’s Elbow. Conway gets an Elbow of his own (from Foley this time) and Foley loads up Rock’s catchphrase. That is NOT cool though so Rock shows him how the tongue is supposed to go. Posing ensues and Rock even signs the Austin petition. This was a lot of fun and exactly the kind of a surprise that we needed after the boring stuff that goes on around here most weeks. Rock and Foley are always fun together and this was a blast all over again as it’s so rare to see Rock respect someone.

Bischoff has had Rock escorted from the building and makes Goldberg vs. Kane a lumberjack match with Bischoff himself picking the lumberjacks.

Booker T./Hurricane/Rosey vs. Mark Henry/Scott Steiner/Test

No Stacy Keibler in sight. Rosey runs Test over to start and drops a splash for two. It’s off to Hurricane for a rather positive reaction but Test tilt-a-whirl slams him down for some right hands. Steiner comes in for the push-up elbow and threatens Rosey with the same. A missed elbow allows the hot tag to Booker so house can be cleaned. The Spinarooni looks to set up the ax kick on Test but Henry comes in and runs people over as we take a break. Back with Henry dropping some big elbows and grabbing the chinlock.

Booker fights up but his rights and lefts have no effect. Henry’s clothesline gets two with Hurricane making the save and Steiner comes back in to some major booing. A forearm to the back keeps Booker down and Test slaps on a bearhug. Booker gets out with a spinebuster and brings in Hurricane to clean house. Hurricane’s neckbreaker drops Test but Henry comes in and runs him over, setting up the bearhug to knock Hurricane out for the win.

Rating: D. This was longer than it needed to be at nearly fifteen minutes, which didn’t help anyone but Henry. I know they’re going for the big monster push, but coming right after he lost to Goldberg isn’t the best strategy. He’s fine for what he is, but the bearhug and the monster offense feels like it’s out of the Hogan of the 1980s playbook.

Post match Booker gets bearhugged out as well.

Sign the petition!

Bischoff makes Evolution and Henry the lumberjacks.

The announcers recap the evening and run down the pay per view card.

Molly Holly/Victoria vs. Trish Stratus/Lita

Joined in progress with Trish chopping Molly in the corner as Jericho and Christian are watching from the ramp. A dropkick gives Trish two but Victoria gets in a knee from the apron. The spinning side slam gives Victoria two as Jericho wants Trish to show him what she has. It’s already back to Molly who powerbombs Trish to break up a hurricanrana attempt. Trish avoids a charge though and the hot tag brings in Lita for a monkey flip and an STO (there’s a combination you don’t often see). Cue Matt Hardy for a distraction though, allowing Molly and Victoria to hit a side slam/belly to back combo to pin Lita.

Rating: D+. Another uninspired match, as you probably guessed given how fast it had to go. Molly and Victoria have nothing going on, to the point where I completely forgot that Molly was Women’s Champion. Trish and Lita were the story of course here, and I’m almost scared to see what’s going to happen in the mixed tag.

Kane vs. Goldberg

Non-title lumberjack match. Goldberg goes right for him with heavy right hands and a shoulder but Kane sends him over the top. The obligatory lumberjack beatdown is on with JR saying they’d be in jail if not for Bischoff making them lumberjacks. Back in and Goldberg hammers away but gets thrown out again, meaning it’s time for Evolution to beat on him some more.

Kane nearly drops him on a side slam and it’s off to a sleeper. Goldberg gets up and counters the chokeslam into an FU, allowing him to send Kane outside. JR is INCENSED that the lumberjacks don’t beat on Kane so Goldberg goes outside and throws Kane back in himself. The spear is loaded up but Orton comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. Sloppy and not much to see here but at least they stuck with the formula that makes sense for the match. Keeping it short was the right move though as Goldberg is best used in short bursts. Sunday’s title match doesn’t do much for me but the triple threat lets HHH (who has managed to miss a good portion of the build while filming a movie) get the title back again without repeating the same match for what, the fourth time? Who cares if it’s not interesting for the fans?

The beat down is on so here are Rob Van Dam and Booker T. to get taken out as well. Shawn Michaels is in for the save with a “straight martial arts kick” (better known as Sweet Chin Music to everyone but JR) to Flair. Sweet Chin Music (JR got it that time) to Kane sets up the spear to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Rock’s segment came close to shaving this show but there’s only so much you can do on the go home show for a pay per view as lifeless as Sunday’s. This show is dying for someone with some energy near the top of the show as Goldberg is pretty obviously just holding the title for HHH and after that it’s a bunch of midcarders trying to be next in line to lose to HHH. That’s been the case for way too long now and it’s dragged the rest of the show down.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 1, 2003
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re in the final month of the year now and last week’s Raw Roulette….didn’t change much. At the moment we’re STILL on HHH vs. Goldberg, but the Trish/Lita/Chris Jericho/Christian story is still charging strong to keep the show interesting. Well mildly interesting but that’s better than nothing. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

Eric Bischoff is in the dark to start and announces Randy Orton/Batista/Kane vs. Rob Van Dam and Shawn Michaels for tonight. The evil boss continues.

Opening sequence.

Here’s a ticked off Goldberg to start things off. As he poses, we see a group of fans holding up the individual letter signs to spell out G-O-L-D-B-U-R-G. They have that many people in a group and no one knows how to spell? Goldberg talks about getting jumped from behind out here every single week and he’s tired of it. He wants HHH and Kane right now but here’s Bischoff instead, because we haven’t done a corrupt boss vs. top face story in a few weeks.

Bischoff yells at him for trying to create mass chaos on his show and threatens him with a firing, champion or not. This is the Eric Bischoff Show and Eric is all that matters. No one can stop him, but here’s Mick Foley, in a suit, to interrupt. Foley introduces himself to Goldberg and says there’s something he can do about Bischoff. See, Linda McMahon thinks Vince is a little nuts at the moment, so Foley has been hired as an outside consultant with the power to make any necessary changes to this show. I’m not sure this company knows what “consultant” means.

Anyway, tonight Goldberg is going to be with Van Dam and Michaels in a six man tag instead of a handicap match. That’s it for Goldberg but Foley isn’t done. Next up is Steve Austin, who needs to be back on Raw. Foley has a petition to bring Austin back, which starts with Lillian and gets to go around the arena. Oh and Foley is the new Co-GM. So to recap, we’re right back where we were three weeks ago but with Foley instead of Austin. I’m so glad we’ve spent all that time getting so far.

Post break Bischoff calls Linda, who hangs up on him.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Mark Jindrak/Garrison Cade

Jindrak and Cade are challenging of course. Cade tries to talk trash to Bubba to start s Bubba slaps him in the ribs (that’s a rare one) and demands respect. D-Von comes in for a powerslam and everything breaks down. Cade’s rollup with tights gets two so D-Von does the same thing (properly this time) to retain in a hurry.

Post match Cade demands we see the cheating on the screen so we see him cheating first. D-Von’s is shown second and that means they deserve a rematch. Well it’s not like the face run was working in the first place.

Al Snow is with Coach and says “Jade and Kindrak” (if I remember right, Snow did this on purpose to get people talking about the team, which is more than WWE did for a long time) could win the titles with another shot. Foley comes in and says he wants to relive the old days. People ask about his worst injuries and while losing the ear and the Cell dive hurt, nothing was as bad as Coach and Snow on commentary. Therefore, tonight it’s Coach vs. Lawler with Coach’s job on the line.

Booker T. vs. Test

Booker wastes no time in hammering away in the corner. Test drops him face first onto the turnbuckle but Booker punches him back again. A bicycle kick to the face (you don’t see Booker use that one very often) gets two but Test is right back with the pumphandle slam. Stacy Keibler shoves the feet off the ropes though and the distraction lets Booker hit the ax kick for the fast pin.

Post match Booker has Stacy do the Legarooni. The schoolgirl outfit is now even more popular but here’s Mark Henry to jump Booker and give him the World’s Strongest Slam.

Lita gives Trish Stratus a Chris Jericho action figure and Trish talks about how she’s never felt this way before. Trish tries to ask about Lita and Christian but Lita asks about last week. Apparently it was very special and they talked about their feelings all night. Tonight is going to be special too because she made him a Canada hockey jersey for him. She’ll give it to him tonight and have something special underneath it. Tonight might be “the” night.

JR and King tell us how we can sign the Austin petition online.

We look back at Batista destroying Shawn Michaels last week.

Batista wishes he had done more.

Here are Scott Steiner, Test and a distressed Stacy for a chat. Steiner thinks Stacy is forgetting her place, which is why she needs to join a special club. Vince McMahon founded it but it’s time for Steiner and Test to start their own chapter. The pants come down (only Steiner has anything underneath) but here’s Foley to interrupt. He’s got some more orders, including Stacy coming up to the stage to consult for him. As for her future, it’s not a problem because Test is fired. Steiner protests because they need to win the Tag Team Titles. Ok then, Steiner is fired too.

Post break Steiner and Test rant to Bischoff a lot. They leave with nothing fixed so Eric says he’ll take care of this himself.

La Resistance vs. Val Venis/Lance Storm

Foley is on commentary and openly admits that he’s drunk with power and loving it. Lawler is very confused as Foley says he sees some white meat babyface potential (his words) in La Resistance. Dupree dropkicks Venis out of the air to start as JR talks about being proud to be an American. A back elbow drops Venis for one and it’s off to the chinlock. Venis fights up and brings Storm in as everything breaks down. While Foley talks about Tag Team Turmoil returning at Armageddon, a quick Hart Attack ends Dupree in another short match.

Post match, Foley praises La Resistance despite their high levels of being French. He offers them a chance to be back on the good side with the Pledge of Allegiance. Conway kind of goes along with it but Dupree has nothing to do with it (because he’s not American). Therefore, Dupree is fired. Foley: “Oops I did it again.”

Trish Stratus/Chris Jericho vs. Miss Jackie/Rico

Trish can’t stop smiling at Jericho. Rico shoves Trish down at the bell and that’s not cool with Jericho at all. The guys start and it’s Rico poking him in the eye to take over. JR hopes Jericho and Trish “write a novel together”. After that odd line, Jericho chops away but can’t get an early Walls attempt. It’s off to the women with Trish firing off some forearms and chopping Jackie up against the ropes.

Jericho distracts the referee by mistake so Rico can get in a cheap shot, setting up Jackie’s suplex for two. It’s off to something like a dragon sleeper as Jerry questions Rico’s gender. A shoulder takes Trish down for two and it’s time for a botch with Jackie missing a clothesline but looking down at Trish, who falls without contact. Hey, all things considered between these two, that’s not half bad!

Trish gets in a spinebuster to set up the hot tag to Jericho as things speed up again. Rico SMACKS Jericho in the head with a springboard kick but gets punched out of the air. The bulldog looks to set up the Lionsault but Jericho has to bail out. Instead it’s a slingshot dive to hit Rico on the floor, leaving Trish to hit the Stratusphere and Stratusfaction on Jackie for the pin.

Rating: C. All things (including that bad botch) considered, this was a minor miracle. Jericho is Jericho (and I love the face version more than the heel, at least in the ring) and Rico is underrated, but who knew that Jackie could have a pretty watchable match? Sure she wasn’t in there very long but she only botched one move, which is probably a record for her.

Eric recaps the night to Kane, who he wants to take care of Foley.

Matt Hardy vs. Christian

Matt, who is more handsome than Christian, has Mattitude Facts back. Lita is in Christian’s corner so she can keep up with Trish and Jericho. They slug it out to start and head to the floor as Lita looks on with a bit of a smile. Christian snaps the back of Matt’s neck across the top rope for two but gets caught in a suplex for two more. It’s almost weird seeing face Christian vs. heel Matt.

We hit the abdominal stretch as Lawler tries to find out what color thong Lita is wearing. Back up and Matt shoves Christian off the top to set up the middle rope legdrop for two. Matt grabs the double arm crank as Lawler wants to know what happened to the midget JR caught last week. The Side Effect cuts off another Christian comeback but Matt goes outside to yell at Lita. That goes nowhere so Matt crotches himself on the middle rope instead. The Unprettier gives Christian two but here’s Molly Holly to send Lita into the steps. Christian is distracted and gets rolled up for the pin.

Rating: B-. Sometimes you just need a nice match to spruce up a show. So much of the show has been built around the short matches and that’s not the most thrilling thing in the world. Let us have something a little more interesting, like this, and the show gets a lot better. Christian is an awesome face and it’s still strange to see this face/heel dynamic between these two.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jonathan Coachman

Right hands, belly to back suplex, fist drop and pin in less than a minute. So that’s it for Coach.

You know the song that Lawler sings because IT’S THE SAME THING THEY DO EVERY TIME SOMEONE IS FIRED. The singing lasts as long as the match.

Pay per view rundown.

Jericho and Christian are in the back to talk about the moment that Christian and Lita just had. Chris laughs it off because Trish has been falling for everything he’s been saying for weeks. Something seems to be afoot as they talk about how close they are to, ahem, sealing the deal with their respective ladies. It turns out that they have a bet for a Canadian dollar of who can score first. As you might expect, Trish is right outside the door with the jersey she made. This is another example of wrestlers somehow not noticing the camera there for a REALLY IMPORTANT TALK.

Randy Orton/Batista/Kane vs. Goldberg/Rob Van Dam/Shawn Michaels

No HHH in sight. Orton and Van Dam get things going with Rob kicking away to start and loading up a far too early Five Star. That sends Randy bailing to the floor so Rob dives onto him, leaving Orton in a heap. Back in and Batista runs him over with a clothesline as the beating begins. Flair adds some choking so JR adds a plug for the awesome Flair DVD, followed by Rob kicking Batista in the face.

That’s enough for a tag off to Shawn so things can speed up again. The big elbow connects but a Flair distraction lets Kane chokeslam Shawn. Back from a break with Kane uppercutting Shawn down and handing it off to Batista. The fans want Goldberg but get Batista grabbing a chinlock instead. Batista switches to a choke so Shawn kicks him low (pretty out of character) to escape for the tag off to Goldberg. Orton is crushed in short order and Goldberg wants Kane.

The brawl is on with Goldberg pounding Kane down in the corner with a rather frenzied attack. There’s the spear but Evolution breaks up the Jackhammer. That sends Goldberg and Kane over the barricade to keep fighting and Orton takes Rolling Thunder. Flair pulls the referee out so Rob adds a Five Star with Foley running in to count the pin.

Rating: C. Pretty run of the mill six man main event here with three feuds in one. I’ve always been a fan of that style and it’s the best thing you can do in a situation like this. I’d rather do something like this than try to squeeze in three short segments to hype up the matches individually. It’s also smart to have Rob get something on Orton because it’s been pretty one sided so far.

Post match Bischoff comes out and wants to talk to Foley one on one. Bischoff says Foley has killed Raw and Foley nods a bit. The thing is though, Foley never signed any release papers so everyone is still around. He just wanted to show Bischoff what happens when you get drunk with power like Bischoff. Foley is a man of the people and therefore, next week it’s Kane vs. Goldberg. For the people tonight, Foley brings out Mr. Socko to take care of Bischoff to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Foley being there helped but it feels like this show could have taken us to the middle of January instead of through two hours. Have Foley fire a person or two a week and THEN bring them back later when Bischoff is about to snap. Or have him bring them back in exchange for Austin being allowed to come back or something big like that. It’s still a good show and they made me more interested in the pay per view but I’ve going to need more than what I’m getting here. And just slow down a bit. That’s been a problem for WWE for years and it’s still one in 2003.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 9, 2000
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Another request and this time it’s because of a pretty famous line. Steve Austin is on his -way back after almost a year off due to neck surgery but we’re still not sure who ran him over in the first place. Commissioner Mick Foley is on the case though and with Austin being back in less than two weeks, he needs to find something out soon. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of HHH blaming Stephanie McMahon for a loss, which has almost driven her into Kurt Angle’s corner. On top of that, Foley has suspended Austin for being a little too insane over finding the guy that tried to kill him.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Foley to open things up, drawing some very rare booing. Foley talks about Austin embarrassing him with some Stunners but that’s not going to keep him from doing his job. He’s brought in a fellow Texan who knows something about Austin being run down so here’s Shawn Michaels. Foley: “Welcome to Anaheim, California, my fellow broken down, washed up wrestler.” He’s not going to accuse Shawn of running Austin over, but Mick does want an alibi.

Michaels remembers the entire day, which started with waking up, brushing his teeth, having some breakfast….but there’s no memory of getting on a plane to Detroit and running over Austin. The thud on that bumper probably would have jogged his memory. What Foley is missing is a motive, which Shawn doesn’t have. Foley doesn’t quite buy that though, because here’s a clip from Wrestlemania XIV with Michaels losing the WWF World Title to Austin, who flipped him off after the match.

Mick talks about his best match ever being with Shawn, but no one remembers that. No one remembers Shawn blazing the trail for the superstars of today and that would tick Foley off enough to run Austin over. Shawn doesn’t ever want to see that clip again but again denies doing anything to Austin. Besides, if Shawn did it, don’t you think he’d be basking in the spotlight that came with it? He’ll give Mick an idea though: there’s someone who loves the spotlight more than even Shawn and he has the world wrapped around his finger, if you smell what he’s cooking. Well that’s a change of pace.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Jacqueline

Lita is defending and this is under hardcore rules, meaning Jacqueline can bring the weapons. It’s a quick brawl on the floor to start until Lita gets hit in the head with a sign. A broom over the back has Lita in trouble but the fans are very much behind her anyway. Jacqueline hits her square in the head with a hair dryer (FREAKING OW MAN!) as Lawler accuses Foley of being the driver.

A fire extinguisher malfunction lets Lita get in a low blow (which has an effect here) and she pulls out a ladder. Jacqueline is right back with a DDT onto the cookie sheet for two but Lita pops up again. A superplex off the ladder is broken up and Jacqueline misses a crossbody off the ladder….which would have been lower than the middle rope. A fire extinguisher blast and a cookie sheet shot retains Lita’s title.

Rating: D+. You know, if you want something like this to matter, you might want to give it more than four minutes. It’s cool to see them doing something like this, but a short match isn’t going to let them do anything. Also, that crossbody off such a low level was just lame. This could have been something if they had tried but it felt like they were just having a hardcore match for the sake of having a hardcore match.

Debra wishes Chyna well on her upcoming wedding and it’s the usual “oh I’m so happy for you” giggling nonsense. They’re looking for Foley and Eddie but can’t find either of them.

Post break Debra comes in to see Foley, who is in the laundry room. He asks her how Steve is before talking about how Debra seemed to benefit from Austin’s injuries. Debra erupts and wishes she was there when Austin Stunned him.

HHH rants about having to team with Chris Jericho and Stephanie goes into some of the worst acting of her career in an attempt to be in his corner. I’d still love to hear them defend talking like this because it sounds as robotic as humanly possible.

Linda McMahon arrives.

Raven vs. Steve Blackman

Actually not hardcore so Blackman’s Hardcore Title isn’t on the line. They start with some technical stuff (I’m as shocked as you are) with Blackman easily getting the better of it. Some kicks in the corner have Raven in trouble as the announcers talk about anything else. For once, it makes enough sense.

Blackman is sent outside and Raven hits a weird looking corkscrew dive (it’s not like he’s a high flier or a former Light Heavyweight Champion or anything). Steve sends him face first into the steps but gets caught with a discus forearm for two back inside. Not that it matters as Blackman finishes with the bicycle kick. This wasn’t long enough to rate and I’m really not sure what they were going for.

Post match Raven jumps Blackman but gets pummeled with the martial arts sticks.

Linda is in Foley’s office and denies running Austin over. Foley brings up her being in a hotel room in Detroit that night and Linda gives the logical explanation: well yeah, because there was a pay per view there that night and she’s part of the company. Besides, what sense would it make to run over the company’s top stars? Mick agrees, and asks who sold the most merchandise while Austin was on the shelf. That would be the Rock.

Chris Benoit/X-Pac vs. Chris Jericho/HHH

No Stephanie here. It’s a brawl to start with HHH and Benoit heading to the floor and eventually starting inside. A suplex drops Benoit but Jericho and HHH get in a battle of tagging themselves in. They change places until HHH charges into a boot in the corner. Benoit gets dropped with a neckbreaker so Jericho tags himself in again, triggering a shoving match between the partners.

Jericho’s running bulldog gets two but he misses the middle rope dropkick. It’s off to X-Pac for the first time and EGADS the fans aren’t happy. Jericho gets sent into the corner and Benoit crotches him against the post like an evil Canadian. A backbreaker gives Benoit two but X-Pac takes WAY too long setting up the Bronco Buster.

It’s off to HHH and Benoit with the former getting the better of it and actually playing face for the moment. Everything breaks down and X-Pac kicks Jericho down. Benoit’s German suplex gets two on HHH but he gets caught in a suplex. HHH heads up, only to get crotched as Jericho and X-Pac fall to the floor. The collapse from the top is enough to give Benoit the pin.

Rating: C. The ending was pretty messy and it didn’t really make for a big finish. I’m assuming the idea is to have issues between HHH and X-Pac but there are so many issues between all four that it kind of got lost in the shuffle. Not terrible or even bad, but I’m not sure I got what they were trying to do.

Edge and Christian are in Foley’s office when HHH bursts in. HHH wants Benoit so Foley makes the match at No Mercy. That’s enough for him so HHH leaves, allowing Foley to continue interrogating the Canadians. They were getting ready for a match and abusing a trainer, which has Foley ready to pull his hair out. That’s enough from them as they have surfing lessons.

HHH goes into his locker room and Stephanie thinks the losing is because she’s not out there. The glare is almost painful.

Tag Team Titles: Hardy Boyz vs. Lo Down

Lo Down (D’Lo Brown and Chaz) is challenging because no one would ever let them be champions. It’s a brawl to start with Chaz being sent outside, leaving Brown to take a double suplex. The double legdrop keeps Brown down but Chaz gets in a cheap shot from the floor to take over. Matt gets double teamed in the corner until Brown drops a leg for two. As usual (and I was with him), JR can’t remember which Hardy is which.

Chaz misses his own legdrop and Lita crotches him for good measure, allowing the hot tag to Jeff. As I try to regain my hearing from the high pitch squealing, Poetry in Motion hits Brown. There goes Jeff’s shirt and the noise gets even louder. Jeff loads up the Swanton but cue Los Conquistadors to break it up. A Powerplex crushes Jeff but Matt makes the save with a top rope leg to give Jeff the retaining pin.

Rating: D+. I forgot how smooth the Hardys were back in their day. They really were as good in the ring as almost any team ever and even now, a ridiculous EIGHTEEN YEARS LATER, they’re still quite smooth. If nothing else the Los Conquistadors story will give us one of the best payoffs in the history of the division.

Mick is playing checkers with Al Snow, who is wearing a blond wig to look like he’s from Sweden. Foley thinks the driver could have been in a similar wig and breaks up the game with his gavel.

European Title: Al Snow vs. Test

Test is challenging and William Regal is on commentary. Snow is now from Greece, meaning the movie (which I still haven’t seen) instead of the country for a not terrible joke. Apparently Regal hasn’t seen the movie either and has no idea what’s going on. Test has Trish with her, whom Regal refers to as a buxom winch. Regal: “Europe has wonder culture. Europe has wonderful wrestlers. Why are we being represented by this buffoon?” Test slams Snow down by the head as Regal downgrades Snow to an ignoramus.

Snow goes after the knee and avoids a big boot to send Test crashing out to the floor. Back in and Test scores with the big boot for two before the gutwrench powerbomb gets the same. Test goes up top and gets superplexed right back down as Regal tries to figure out how a non-European is the European Champion. The Snow Plow gets two on Test so Trish gets on the apron, allowing Snow to hit Test with Head to retain. Regal is AGHAST (“IT’S BLOODY DISGRACEFUL!”) as only he can be.

Rating: D+. Regal was glorious here and that’s all this was supposed to be. They’re spelling out the Regal vs. Snow story in as simple terms as they can and that works very well. Test fell off the planet after Russo left because there was nothing left for him to do outside of get stuck in this generic power team designed to showcase Trish.

Eddie Guerrero and Chyna argue over Eddie not being trustworthy. Apparently she hasn’t seen him or heard from him all day and they have a match tonight. He’s ready to go to the ring on his own and if she trusts him, she can come out there too.

Road Dogg hosted and judged a dance contest at WWF New York. He sounds rather intoxicated.

Eddie Guerrero/Chyna vs. Right to Censor

Val Venis/Goodfather for the censors here. Eddie jumps Venis from behind to start and hammers away as Lawler makes Mamacita jokes. Speaking of which, we go to GTV, showing Eddie in the shower with two women earlier today. Of note: one of them is the future Victoria. Eddie: “Two mamacitas are better than one mamacita.” Chyna has a seat on the steps as Goodfather shoulders Eddie down. We hit the choking on the ropes as Goodfather shouts down at Chyna, who hasn’t even looked back at the ring. She starts looking at her engagement ring as Venis finishes Eddie with a Blue Thunder Bomb.

Rating: D. Angle instead of a match here and there’s nothing wrong with that. Eddie reverting to his normal stance makes sense as he’s just not someone who is going to be tied down to Chyna over the years. It makes perfect sense and sets up Chyna/someone else perhaps vs. Eddie, which should be fine.

Post match the RTC goes after Chyna but Billy Gunn runs in for the save.

Crash is trying to leave but Foley cuts him off. Mick seems to realize that there’s nothing going on there so he talks to Scotty 2 Hotty instead. He had nothing to do with it either but says he, Grandmaster Sexay and Rikishi were backstage that night, waiting on Rock’s match to finish so they could go party. This seems to mean something to Foley.

Eddie begs Chyna’s forgiveness but he she takes the ring off and leaves. He goes to find the ring but Billy comes in and tells him to go return the ring for $20. Billy isn’t letting Eddie near her again as long as he’s around. Eddie grabs a bottle and hits him in the face before picking up the ring and leaving.

Kurt Angle/Kane vs. Rikishi/The Rock

And hang on as Kane beats up Angle before the match starts due to a recent attack at Kurt’s hands. Kane goes after Rikishi as well, but at least that’s what he’s supposed to do this time. Rock finally comes out and walks into a big boot from Kane. Dang it’s a good night to be the Big Red Machine. The running clothesline puts Kane down and it’s off to Rikishi for the fat right hands, followed by a Samoan drop.

The fans are VERY pleased to have Rock come back in (well to be fair he’s replacing Rikishi) and there’s the spit punch to the mask. Kane casually powerslams him down though as Angle is still nowhere to be seen. An elbow gets two on Rock and we cut to Angle who is leaning against the barricade, casually watching the match.

We hit the chinlock as this has been almost all Kane so far. In a sign of the times, the hold goes on with Kane’s back to the camera. That would never fly today, even though IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE. Does it really matter that much if you can’t see the faces for all of thirty seconds in a ten minute match? Oh hey look Rock is fighting up and I can see his face again. I’m so much more invested in the match all of a sudden.

Rock comes back with a spinebuster and it’s off to Rikishi, who scores with a bad looking clothesline. A chokeslam cuts him off again and NOW Angle is ready for a tag. Kane does tag him…with a hand around the throat and a chokeslam for him as well. That’s enough for Kane, who walks up the ramp. Fair enough, as he dominated this match. The Angle Slam hits Rikishi but Angle walks into a Rock Bottom. Rikishi sits on the chest for the pin.

Rating: C. I know I mentioned this a few times but Kane looked great here. He beat up Rock and Rikishi on his own without much effort and even threw Angle some punishment as well. It wasn’t a great match or anything as it merely served as a reason to have people at ringside and I’m not sure why the #1 contender needed to get pinned here (let it be a countout because Kane was legal or something) but at least Kane looked great. Naturally, he wasn’t even on the upcoming pay per view.

Post match, here’s Foley to say he knows who did it. All of the evidence points to Rock, including it being his rental car with his fingerprints, DNA and sunglasses being found in the car. It was Rock who became the biggest star in the world after Austin was gone…but Foley finds him not guilty. So who did it?

That would be Rikishi, who was backstage but hadn’t even debuted on television yet. Rikishi was close enough to the Rock to take his keys and the rental car mirrors were configured to someone his size. After a long pause, Rikishi admits that he did it. In the line that launched a thousand forum posts, Rikishi did it for the Rock. That night, he took Rock’s keys to go check into the hotel, but when he was in the car, he saw Austin. Everything flashed right through his eyes. See, over the years, the WWF has always been about the great white hope.

Rikishi talks about people like Buddy Rogers, Bruno Sammartino, Bob Backlund, Hulk Hogan (POP) and now Steve Austin, all of whom were pushed harder than the island boys. The people like Peter Maivia, Jimmy Snuka, the Headshrinkers and the Tonga Kid were allowed into the company but never allowed to become WWF Champion. Rikishi doesn’t expect anything back from Rock, who had nothing to do with this. He ran Austin over, and he’d do it again. Everyone, including Rock, is stunned to end the show.

Oh holy sweet chicken wings where do I even begin? Let’s get the big one out of the way to start: THIS WAS DUMB. Not only is this somehow about making sure that the Rock (who was a THREE TIME WWF Champion by the time Survivor Series 1999 rolled around) wasn’t held back by the white man, but it was explained by a 400lb dancing Samoan in a thong.

That last part is the bigger issue here: there was no reason for this to be Rikishi. Every single thing in this pointed to the driver being the Rock (as explained by Foley) or HHH (because he’s HHH). They would eventually change it to HHH because they realized that Rikishi couldn’t have a good match with Austin to save his life (again, because it’s Rikishi) and that THIS WAS REALLY STUPID.

Oh and Rikishi was found out because he was backstage at a show before he had debuted? So a member of Rock’s family, one of the biggest wrestling families of all time and apparently friends with Too Cool by then, was backstage at a show for a company that he was about to debut for, and THAT is the smoking gun? And Foley just happened to remember Rikishi’s debut date off the top of his head? Just dumb all around, and thankfully they had it fixed within about a month for the sake of this being so stupid.

Overall Rating: D. REALLY bad ending angle aside, this wasn’t much of a show. There was however one big that stood out: everything feels different. There’s a show long angle going on, but at the same time every match feels important. That’s how NXT feels today and it’s such a breath of fresh air. If you don’t like something that’s going on, they’ll be on something different you might like a few minutes later. That’s a very good thing to have on a show and makes it feel that much easier. This is at the down end of the best year ever, but it’s still a watchable enough show. Just turn it off after the main event for the sake of STUPID.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Odds are you’ve heard of Axxess. It’s the big fan festival put on by WWE every year over Wrestlemania weekend where you can see memorabilia and meet wrestlers etc. However, there’s another version run independently from WWE called WrestleCon, which offers a bunch of wrestling shows but also a huge convention with hundreds of wrestlers and vendors selling autographs, merchandise and photo ops for pretty reasonable prices. You can also just walk up and talk to almost anyone you want (line permitting of course) and have a chat (some longer than others).

The convention runs for three days and I attended Friday and Sunday. These days couldn’t have been more different but both had their positives and negatives. I did pay to meet a variety of wrestlers and bought some stuff so here’s the rundown. Keep in mind that I didn’t write down everyone I met (as the place wasn’t exactly one where you could pull out something and take notes) so there’s a good chance I’ve forgotten some names. These are in no real order.

Well this one is in order, because how do you start with anything else?

Very quick due to the long line but he looked right into your eyes and you could feel the chills. I said it was an honor to meet him and he said he appreciated it. That voice will send vibes through you and it was worth the over two hour wait (you knew this was going to be a long line). I got him to sign my Wrestlemania XXXII ticket for a very nice keepsake.

Tenille Dashwood. She had people coming up to see her over and over for both days and it’s not surprising. Dashwood put on a heck of a performance at the SuperShow and simply put, the camera does not do her justice whatsoever. She’s absolutely gorgeous in person and seemed very sweet when I said hello to her. How WWE managed to screw her up is anyone’s guess.

Al Snow. This might not be the biggest name in the world but it turns out that at one point he lived in my small hometown in Kentucky. He seemed rather surprised that anyone had even heard of it, let alone lived there.

Larry Zbyszko. Just a short hello, but he did his spinning salute.

Virgil. Walked by me as I was in line and I said a quick hello. I know he’s known as a jerk but he’s been nice the two times I’ve met him.

Bret Hart. This was one of the ones I paid for in advance (well duh) and it starts to show the big problem with WrestleCon (which I’ll cover in detail at the end): it feels rushed. I might have sat next to Bret for all of five seconds, gotten a picture taken, shook his hand and said it was an honor to meet him. As is often the case with Bret he didn’t have much to say, but he did look me in the eye as I shook his hand and said thank you.

Before we move on, one more thing about Bret. His line was of course very long and it wrapped around into two rows. I was near the back of the line without about 100 people in front of me and I hear a voice.

Voice: “KB?”

Me: “Yeah?”

Voice: “I’m Steve. You’ve done my podcast a few times. Do you want to come up here with me?”

I was then about fifth in line and done in three minutes instead of an hour. Steve is a very, very good guy with an awesome podcast called the Positive Pro Wrestling podcast. He knows his stuff and is more than worth listening to, especially if you’re sick of hearing people complain about wrestling. Check him out here and follow the show on Twitter @ppwpodcast. I’ve been a guest on there multiple times and it’s some of the most fun I’ve had doing a show. It’s more than worth the time.

Kelly Kelly. I’ve met her before and I’d be glad to meet her over and over. Those eyes are something else and she very clearly knows how to look at a camera.

Taya Valkyrie. Another short one but she’s rather nice.

Jim Duggan. Met him several times before and he’s always fun to talk to, even for a few seconds. He always asks where a fan is from and you get a sense that he actually cares. That doesn’t happen very often and that’s a shame. He also seemed to like my shirt, which was one of the oddest things of the whole weekend.

Christy Hemme. Yep. Looks even better in person and again has that fire in her eyes.

Mick Foley. Again, met him before and again, it felt rushed due to the crowds. He’s my favorite wrestler ever though and when I mentioned that he smiled and said he appreciated it. Always a treat to get to see him.

As a bonus, here he is with Kenny Omega and Kota Ibushi, who were at the next table over.

One Man Gang. He was there in something similar to Akeem gear but no hat unfortunately. I asked him if he was a rib on Dusty Rhodes and he emphatically said no, even giving me reasons why he wasn’t. I would have bet money otherwise but he insisted it wasn’t true. Fair enough.

Hiroshi Tanahashi. With five people in line and only charging $20 a person, this was a complete steal. Spoke very clear English and one of the nicest guys there.

Brian Pillman Jr. Very nice guy who I talked to for a few minutes. He said the new book about his dad’s life is very accurate (save for a few minor details) and recommended it. I don’t know much about him but he came off very positively.

Matt Sydal. Got to hold the X-Division Title, which is far lighter than the World Title. This was quick as he had a customer but he was another nice guy.

Bushwhacker Luke. Met him last year but this time was much friendlier. Last year I had mentioned that he licked me as a kid and he looked at me like I was nuts. I mentioned it again this year and he asked when and where it was. Far more pleasant this time around.

Eli Drake. I asked if he could call me a dummy and he said he wasn’t sure. That sounded like I’d have to buy something but he said he heard me asking him and when he looked up, all he could see was a DUMMY! YEAH! He smiled and I told him he had become my favorite part of Impact Wrestling (true) and he seemed very happy. Exceptionally nice guy.

Robert Gibson. Met him on Sunday and talked to him about the cage match with the Andersons. He seemed thrilled to talk about the old days and that’s completely understandable. Ricky Morton was next to him and seemed FAR more popular, which isn’t surprising.

Velvet Sky. Quick hello, looks amazing in person.

Diamond Dallas Page. He’s almost my white whale of meeting people as I’ve tried multiple times and just not been able to get there. Another nice guy and he was giving out cards for a free month of his yoga app. Nothing wrong with free.

Melissa Santos. Tiny and very pretty. Also saw her getting out of her cab as I was coming into the building.

Brutus Beefcake. Got a handshake, but $40 for his book? Is he nuts?

Scott Steiner. The Steiners were one of my favorite teams ever and while Rick was advertised, I didn’t seem there (could have just been away as he had a booth next to Scott). Kind of untalkative but seemed appreciative when I mentioned being a big fan of the team.

Animal. Shook his hand, barely acknowledged that I was there.

Jackie Moore. I was in line for Foley and talking to the handler, which somehow turned into a discussion of I Love Lucy. Moore was next to us and mentioned loving the show.

Tony Atlas. I met him last year and for the second year in a row thought he was ignoring me but he looked up and apologized for not noticing I was there. Nice guy with a big smile.

Harley Race. I don’t think this needs an explanation.

Penta El Zero M. Just a handshake.

Rey Fenix. Another handshake.

Kevin Nash. Just like last year, doesn’t seem interested if you’re not buying.

Sean Waltman. Another quick handshake but he looked straight at people.

Bob Backlund. We must be connected someway as this is my fourth Wrestlemania and sixth time running into Backlund. I actually got to talk to him this time and he was very quiet (as in low volume, to the point where I could barely hear him). I talked about how awesome his transformation in 1994 was and he said he always puts in the most effort possible into everything. Very, very nice guy who seemed like he would talk to you all day.

Rob Van Dam. Quick handshake as there were people coming up to see him but very friendly guy.

Tomohiro Ishii. One person in line and again, just twenty bucks. I would have bet on a long, long line for him. That’s the Rev Pro Wrestling British Heavyweight Title, which I saw him win Friday night in a great match.

Minoru Suzuki. Much nicer than you would think and NO ONE in line any time I went by his table. Same price as the other New Japan guys. He picked the title up and put it straight on my shoulder, which nearly knocked me over. That’s the Rev Pro British Tag Team Title on the table.

Sean Mooney. I needed to hear that voice in person. Not much to say but he was friendly and mentioned his podcast.

D’Lo Brown. Always been a fan and he seemed appreciative of the praise.

Allie. TINY in person to the point where I barely recognized her.

Rosemary. I know she’s the creepy Knockout on Impact, but when she’s acting normal and has her hair pulled back, it really, really, really works.

So Cal Val. Seemed very flattered that people wanted to talk to her and another nice person.

Winter. Easily one of the best looking people there and knew how to stand in a way that made her look even better. Seemed shocked (in a good way) that anyone remembered her in OVW.

Gail Kim. Another case of the camera not doing her justice. Seemed to be having a great time meeting fans and being with old friends.

Larry Hennig. Actually started talking to me about my Superman shirt.

Bob Orton. His arm is fine, though at least this year he seemed to understand why people were asking him about it.

Teddy Long. I didn’t mean to get a picture with him but I asked if he could say holla holla. This time he actually said I’d have to pay him something and $30 for a picture wasn’t happening. His handler dropped it to $20 and I almost couldn’t say no. I mentioned that he could use the money to pay for some tolls on the road, which made him laugh rather hard. He even mentioned it to Ron Simmons in the next booth and got a laugh from him as well. Fun to talk to once you get beyond the pay wall.

Lanny Poffo. Mentioned being from Lexington and he immediately told me about a seminar he’s doing in a town near here. Not pushy about it but I’d have rather talked to him now, not in a few weeks.

Chavo Guerrero. Kind of quiet until you mention Eddie, which really brought him out of his shell. You can tell he’s very proud of his family, as he should be.

James Storm. He came to his booth as I was in line to meet Tanahashi. I mentioned having met him at a TNA show and he apologized that I had to be there. Bully Ray said the same thing the year before. How bad was it to work there?

Colt Cabana. I had seen him wrestle under a mask as Matt Classic the night before so I asked if he knew anything about him. Cabana said he had heard Classic was there, with a big grin on his face. I mentioned Classic being entertaining and Cabana smiled and said he’d pass that along if he ran into Classic.

Now for a non-wrestler, and some of the coolest and most popular items all weekend. You might need to zoom in on this.

Check out his work here.

I bought three of them (Shawn/Razor, Undertaker and Cena). They were two for $20 and VERY popular, as they should be.

And now, for the negatives. The organization, venue and everything else couldn’t have been a bigger mess if they had tried. When I got to the fifth floor of the hotel the event, there was just a sea of people and no one knew where any line started. I was told to go into a small room to get my wristband but when it got to me, they were out of one day bands. How they didn’t have a big box of them there is beyond me, but the lady running things went to get more. Then she didn’t come back, so we were told to go get in a long line. Eventually we got in, half an hour after the thing was supposed to start. It was downhill from there.

The following is all on Friday.

The venue was WAY too small to begin with and on top of that, the layout was a nightmare. Basically you had four rows of boots with a big aisle in between. There were booths on the all around the rows as well. In the upper right hand corner was Ric Flair’s booth and that’s about it for big names on that side. In the middle was Shawn Michaels, on the upper left was Bret Hart, on the lower left was Kenny Omega/Kota Ibushi, Mick Foley, the Young Bucks and Harley Race.

With Shawn’s line wrapping around the building (seriously), at one point I was in line for Omega, Foley, Shawn, Bret and Ibushi at the same time without being able to move. Everyone, from the fans to the workers TO THE WRESTLERS were complaining about what a mess this was. Just put someone on the other side of the room or something, but find a better way to do this.

Omega and Ibushi’s line literally stretched from one side of the building to the other and since they were half an hour late showing up, it never moved. I had even bought a ticket for Omega and was so fed up with the mess of the lines that I just ate the cost. I’m one of the biggest wrestling fans I’ve ever seen and when I’m sitting in the hall way because I’ve had enough of the mess to the point where I’m about to leave two hours into a six hour convention, there’s something very, very wrong.

Sunday was much better, but mainly because the place was a ghost town. You had a few names still trying to get a few more sales and really it was more sad than anything else in some cases. There were wide spaces with no one at a booth and a lot of the wrestlers looked miserable. I get why they have to do it, but it wasn’t a pretty sight at times.

Overall, the idea is great and can be done VERY well (Orlando the year before was excellent) but the venue was too small and the layout for the wrestlers was ridiculous. Get this stuff right so the fans can have a better time, because Friday was a complete disaster. I did have fun and bought some cool stuff, but there were so many rough edges that the negatives outweighed the positives, at least the first day.

Wrestlemania XX
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole

There really was no other option for the location of the twentieth Wrestlemania. Even though it’s a much smaller venues than the stadiums they had been running, there’s something about this place that makes the show feel special. It’s the world’s most famous arena in the company’s old hometown. You just don’t get any better than that. Let’s get to it.

The Harlem Boys Choir sings America the Beautiful.

Vince McMahon walks into a dark room and a voiceover takes us into a history of Wrestlemania. I know Vince gets some flack and a lot of it is deserved, but there is no one else who should have opened this show. Again, this year’s video treats the show like the most important event of the year and so far ahead of anything else in wrestling. The tagline is “Where it all begins again” and the camera goes back to Vince, who is standing next to Shane and holding his first grandchild. That’s a very cool idea and brought a smile to my face.

The entrance is on the left of the ring but there’s a video screen opposite the hard camera showing the current match. There did need to be something there, for old times’ sake if nothing else.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

And so it begins. Cena is challenging here and is still the rapper, meaning he’s one of the most popular acts on the roster. He calls Show a monkey and thinks his match is against a float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. The fans are more than willing to chant Big Show sucks. It’s so strange to see Cena this popular in New York. To show you how worthless the title was to Big Show, he won the belt on October 19, 2003. This is his third televised title defense.

Cena sticks and moves to start but Show throws him to the floor with ease. Still mostly uneducated, Cena tries to come back in with a high cross body and gets powerslammed to teach him a lesson. Cole describes a headbutt from Show as being hit in the head with a typewriter. Are there a lot of reports of being hit in the head with typewriters and comparisons to headbutts from large wrestlers?

Show superkicks him down and easily breaks up a sleeper attempt. Off to a cobra clutch from the champ but Cena powers up and hits a quick FU (later known as the Attitude Adjustment) for two. Cena is STUNNED so he grabs his chain for a right hand to the head. It’s just a ruse though as the referee stops him, allowing Cena to grab his brass knuckles to knock Show silly and hit another FU for the pin and the title at 9:17.

Rating: C-. The crowd reactions help this one a lot but they’re more interesting due to how loathed Cena would be in the coming years. Cena’s power wasn’t on full display here though the FU’s looked good. This was a return to form for the opening match as the fans were dying to see Cena get pushed and loved to see him take the title from Show who was wasting the title for months.

Coach is talking to various people on his way to Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff’s dressing room. Bischoff gives Coach the job of finding Undertaker, who is a Smackdown guy. Undertaker hadn’t been seen in months after Kane buried him alive, but the rumor is that he’s coming back as the Dead Man for the first time since 1999.

Evolution (Randy Orton, Ric Flair and Batista. Leader HHH is busy tonight.) talks about how it all begins again here. Orton can’t wait to break Mick Foley again. This is the part of a ten month feud where Foley was scared of losing his legacy at the hands of the legend killer Orton. He walked away multiple times but returned at the Royal Rumble to attack Orton.

The rest of Evolution beat the tar out of Foley in February and it was clear he needed help. With no one else to turn to, Foley made a call to Hollywood and the Rock came running (literally) to help his old buddy. Orton says it’s his time now and he’ll kill some legends tonight. Randy looked like a pure star here and instantly had that IT factor that you can’t teach. I completely see the potential they saw here and it’s hard to argue against charisma like that.

Raw Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Rob Van Dam/Booker T.

Van Dam and Booker are defending and this is one fall to a finish. Unfortunately the champions have a combined version of their theme music and it really, really doesn’t work. La Resistance (Rob Conway and Rene Dupree) are evil Frenchman (well Rene is while Conway is a sympathizer) and Cade/Jindrak are your run of the mill young muscular heels. Dupree and Van Dam get things going with the champ throwing the villain around. Rene gets catapulted into a kick from Booker and Conway’s save attempt goes bad. It’s off to Bubba as the fans already want tables.

Bubba tries a little Flip Flop and Fly but gets kick in the face for his troubles. Van Dam adds one to D-Von and we settle down to Jindrak beating on Booker. Dupree tags himself in and La Resistance takes over with stomps and a bow and arrow from Conway. After far too long in the hold, Booker gets up and grabs a spinebuster, allowing the tag to Van Dam. House is quickly cleaned as everything breaks down. Cade breaks up 3D on Booker but Booker nails the scissors kick on Conway, followed by the Five Star to retain at 7:57.

Rating: D. This was a good example of everything that was wrong with the division at this point. You could have cut out at least one of these teams to make the match a lot more entertaining as well as coherent. Did anyone really want to see Jindrak and Cade in here? Jindrak was amazingly athletic but I didn’t need to see him in a title match at Wrestlemania.

Coach is going to find Undertaker and hears strange noises and banging coming from a closet. He opens the door and finds…..Bobby Heenan and Gene Okerlund trying to get their clothes back on. Heenan: “No it’s not what you think!” They were playing poker you see. The door opens again and Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young drag the guys back in. Coach walks away in a daze. JR: “Oh lord.”

We recap Christian vs. Chris Jericho. This was an awesome story as the two were tag partners who made a bet over who could “nail” Lita or Trish respectfully for $1 Canadian. Lita dropped out of the story pretty quickly but Jericho started to actually fall for Trish. She started to have feelings for Jericho too but Christian hated the fact that she was breaking up the team. Christian beat her up in an intergender match to teach Jericho (a full on good guy by now) a lesson. This started a feud between the two and the big showdown is at Wrestlemania.

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

The aggressive Jericho controls to start and backdrops Christian from the apron out to the floor in a unique spot. A springboard plancha puts Christian down but he comes right back with something like a belly to back suplex to send Chris out to the floor in a huge crash. A chinlock keeps Jericho down for a bit before they ram heads to keep him down even longer.

Jericho keeps calling him a CLB (creepy little bastard) to get on Christian’s nerves, followed by an enziguri for two. A pinfall reversal sequence goes how most pinfall reversal sequences go before Christian hits a reverse tornado DDT for two of his own. Christian heads up top and breaks up Chris’ superplex attempt by just throwing him face first onto the mat. Jericho might have tweaked his knee so Christian gets smart by putting on a Texas Cloverleaf. I could go for someone using that as a finisher or even a big time hold.

Jericho counters into the Walls though and holds on even as Christian crawls through the ropes to the floor. This brings Trish out to ringside as Christian plants Jericho with a DDT. Trish gets up on the apron so Christian drags her in. Jericho goes over to check on her and gets elbowed in the face by mistake, knocking Jericho into a rollup for the pin at 14:56.

Rating: B-. Fun match here but this was much more about the story than the action. This story worked really well all around and everyone comes out of it looking better, mainly because they took their time and let the story build instead of wedging it into a month and then doing one match followed by a gimmick rematch. It makes for a better story and the whole thing works.

Post match Jericho goes after Christian again but Trish holds him back, only to slap him into the Unprettier. Trish and Christian leave together and kiss on the stage. This gives us evil Trish which, in a word, worked.

Mick Foley says this is the biggest night in the history of wrestling in Madison Square Garden so yes he is overcome. Rock comes in to say let the emotion go because FINALLY the Rock has come back to New York City. After telling Lillian Garcia that the people’s package buffet is closed, Rock hijacks a cameraman to see Hurricane and Rosey (the Superhero In Training), Jimmy Snuka and Don Muraco and of course the people themselves as the camera goes into the arena for a second. It’s time to electrify.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Orton/Flair/Batista here. This is Rock’s first match in a nearly a year and Foley’s first match since Wrestlemania XVI. Orton is Intercontinental Champion. Rock and Foley clear out all three and it’s Flair vs. Rock to start. The fans aren’t sure who to cheer for here as Flair is a heel but this is New York. They go for Rock to start as he takes over early with right hands and backdrops both in and out of the ring.

Foley dives off the apron with the elbow drop and you can tell this is going to be a hot one. Orton gets the tag so Foley comes in, sending Randy bailing to the outside. Why you would go outside against the hardcore legend isn’t clear and Foley takes over as you would expect. Mick ties him in the Tree of Woe and hands it off to Rock for what looked like a low blow. Batista low bridges Rock to the floor and drops him on the barricade to give Evolution their first advantage.

Now Flair’s chops have an effect and the strut is loudly cheered. Rock clotheslines Ric down though and is booed for the fourth straight year at Wrestlemania. Batista takes a clothesline as well and it’s back to Mick for the knee lift. Foley pounds away in the corner but Batista hits his big clothesline (a secondary finisher a few months earlier) to knock Foley outside again.

We get Mick’s double knees to the steps bump and now Orton is willing to come in. After a few cheap shots from Randy it’s back to Batista who has to be saved from the Mandible Claw. Flair again and the fans welcome him back with open arms. Ric takes a forearm to the head though and the tag brings in Rock to face Orton. Rock tries to fight three on one but walks into a spinebuster from Batista.

It’s back to Flair…..who loads up the People’s Elbow, complete with strut of course. It takes too long though and Rock nips up. Right hands and a spinebuster set up the original People’s Elbow, again complete with strut. The Rock Bottom plants Orton but Flair pulls Rock to the floor. A Batista Bomb gives Randy two and the hot tag brings in Foley to clean house. It’s Socko time but Orton grabs a quick RKO out of nowhere for the pin at 17:09. Foley is shocked at the fall, which puts Orton over even more.

Rating: B. This was great fun with Rock and Flair being the hams that only they can be. They knew they were in the big arena for the smart fans and they played right to them. The real star here though was Foley, who made Orton look like a star here, just as he was supposed to do. They would do that again the next month at Backlash in their big showdown where Foley put Orton over and made him look like a star. Orton would be World Champion in August and these two matches played a big role in getting him there.

Video on the Hall of Fame ceremony, which made its return after an eight year absence. The line of the night came from Bobby Heenan. After thanking everyone: “One thing is missing. I wish Monsoon was here.” That gets me every time.

The Class of 2004 is brought out for the audience and each gets an introduction: Bobby Heenan (playing to the crowd the entire way through), Tito Santana, Big John Studd (represented by his son), Harley Race (the fans start cheering before Gene can start talking), Pete Rose (celebrity induction and said to be incredibly humble and thankful for the honor), Don Muraco, Greg Valentine (much bigger reaction than I was expecting), Junkyard Dog (represented by his daughter), Billy Graham (loudest ovation of the group in a bit of a surprise), Sgt. Slaughter (USA chant) and Jesse Ventura.

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

This is a Playboy evening gown match which means you have to strip your opponents to win. Sable and Wilson had done a Playboy pictorial together but Jackie (Jackie Gayda from Tough Enough, not Jacqueline) and Stacy thought they should have been featured instead. Sable wants to just have the match without the gowns but Jackie won’t follow suit, only to be stripped by her opponents.

Jackie and Sable start and it’s quickly off to Torrie for a high cross body. Stacy comes in for a pinfall reversal sequence to show off the camera shots. We get the trademark rolling over the referee spot as Cole and Tazz are (rightfully) treating this as a huge joke. Torrie rolls Jackie up for the pin at 2:41.

Clips of fans coming from around the world to see Wrestlemania.

Eddie tells Benoit that he’s proud of him no matter what. Benoit needs the fire in his eyes though and Eddie finally gets it out of him, drawing a big smile.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

This is a gauntlet match with Chavo Guerrero (with his father Chavo Sr.) defending and going in last at #10. Shannon Moore and Ultimo Dragon (a Japanese legend who trips twice during his entrance) start things off fast with some near falls until Shannon scores with a belly to back suplex. Dragon avoids a corkscrew moonsault press and grabs the Asai DDT (kind of a standing sliced bread #2) for the pin at 1:17.

Jamie Noble (a country redneck) is in at #3 and blasts Dragon from behind, only to take some rapid fire kicks to the chest. Noble comes right back with a guillotine choke for a submission at 2:15. Funaki comes in at #4 with a high cross body but Noble rolls through into a pin at 2:23. Nunzio (a stereotypical Italian) is in at #5 and lasts a bit better as the fans want their pizza. A quick rollup gets two on Noble and Nunzio gets the same off a middle rope dropkick.

Jamie sends him outside and hits a big flip dive from the top for a countout at 4:15. Billy Kidman (a talented guy without much of a gimmick) is in at #6 but Nunzio is still at ringside and pulls Noble to the floor. That’s fine with Kidman who hits a top rope shooting star (barely rotating enough and nearly breaking his neck) to take everyone down. Back in and Noble’s guillotine doesn’t work very well so Kidman goes up top and BK Bombs (sitout spinebuster) Noble for the pin at 6:06.

Rey Mysterio (dressed as the Flash this year) is in at #7 and dropkicks Kidman to the floor, only to come back in with a Sky High for two. Kidman takes him up top but gets caught in a sunset bomb for the pin at 7:26. Tajiri (a Japanese wrestler with some of the hardest kicks you’ll ever see) is in at #8 and quickly takes the 619.

The West Coast Pop is blocked though and Tajiri sprays the Asian mist, only to hit his partner Akio by mistake. Rey rolls Tajiri up for the pin at 8:36. Akio can’t go because of the mist so Chavo is in for the final match against Mysterio. A springboard hurricanrana takes Chavo down and Rey takes out Chavo Sr. for good measure. Back in and Chavo counters a sunset flip and gets the pin with help from his dad at 10:26.

Rating: D. I can’t stand matches like this one as they completely stretch the suspension of disbelief. Most regular matches take at least a few minutes but we just had eight falls and only one of them came close to two minutes. If I’m a casual fan, the only thing I know about any of these people is that Chavo cheats to retain his title. This went by way too fast and really should have just been Chavo vs. Mysterio.

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar in an interpromotional match. Goldberg and Lesnar had words at the 2004 Royal Rumble and Brock attacked Goldberg in the Rumble itself, leading to his elimination. Steve Austin then gave Goldberg a ticket to Lesnar’s title defense against Eddie at No Way Out 2004, where Goldberg of course cost him the title. Lesnar stole Austin’s ATV and Austin beat him up on Smackdown to get it back.

This set up a showdown here with Austin as guest referee to try to hold things together. The problem is word leaked that both guys were leaving as soon as Wrestlemania was over and the fans all knew about it. This could go bad in a hurry, especially in the smarkiest of all smark strongholds.

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Austin is guest referee. The YOU SOLD OUT chants begin and there’s no contact in the first thirty seconds. Austin tells them to go but they stare at each other for the first minute. The fans sing the Goodbye Song and Goldberg swears at Lesnar a lot. Nothing in the first ninety seconds. Make that two minutes. The fans chant for Austin as he stares at Goldberg.

They FINALLY lock up at 2:46 as JR brags about Goldberg being a mixed martial arts aficionado. The lockup lasts about forty five seconds and then they stare at each other even more. We’re four minute into this now and the only contact has been that lockup. Another lockup goes twenty eight seconds before they break. The fans are loudly and rightfully booing now. At the five minute mark, Lesnar grabs a headlock. They trade shoulders and stare each other down again.

Another big shoulder apiece puts both guys down as we hit six minutes. Brock gets in the first strike with a kick to the ribs at just under seven minutes. A gorilla press into a spinebuster drops Lesnar but Goldberg misses a spear in the corner. The fans are all over Goldberg now as Brock hits two straight suplexes.

Off to a side choke from Brock to eat up time before they have the nerve to do a double clothesline. Goldberg comes back with more clotheslines and a neckbreaker, followed by a spear for two. Austin and Goldberg argue a bit and Brock grabs an F5 for two. Back up and Goldberg hits a big spear but is booed out of the building. The Jackhammer ends Lesnar at 13:48.

Rating: F. As much of an embarrassment as this was, it took some guts to go out there in MSG and do this on the biggest show of the year. I don’t want to imagine how bad this would have been had Austin, who was innocent in this whole mess, not been there to keep it as coherent as he did. This was barely a match but it was certainly something interesting to see, as unfair as it was to the fans.

Lesnar throws up two middle fingers (which he later said were to Vince and not the fans) and gets Stunned. Austin throws Goldberg a beer, then throws him two more after he drops the first one. Goldberg is booed out of the building and takes a Stunner, followed by Austin consuming a lot of beer.

Wrestlemania XXI is in Los Angeles.

Fireworks go off from the roof of Madison Square Garden.

Vince McMahon comes out to thank the fans for making Wrestlemania what it is on behalf of everyone who has ever performed for him and his entire family. Nothing else said here but this was a very nice moment.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA vs. Too Cool

One fall to a finish. Too Cool (Scotty and Rikishi) are defending. The World’s Greatest Tag Team was known as Team Angle. The Bashams (Doug and Danny) are two guys who looked a lot alike and were some of the biggest stars in Ohio Valley Wrestling history (then developmental), yet for some reason they only had a forgettable tag run before they were out of the company.

Bradshaw and Benjamin start things off with Bradshaw shoving him around, only to have Danny Basham come in for an atomic drop. Haas and Benjamin take over on Danny but he sneaks away to make the tag to Scotty. That means it’s time for some dancing until Haas hangs Scotty over the top rope so Shelton can dive onto Scotty’s back.

Charlie slaps on a bearhug before it’s off to the Bashams for a double suplex into a double nipup. Scotty flips out of a suplex and dives into the corner for the hot tag to Rikishi, who has gone from a comedy goof to someone treated as a moderate legend for reasons I don’t quite understand. Everything breaks down and Bradshaw charges into a Samoan drop. Rikishi sits on Danny’s chest to retain at 6:05.

Rating: D. This was the same as the Raw Tag Team Title match earlier and that’s not a good thing. After the previous few matches, this really wasn’t a good choice to go with here and feels like they’re just dragging the show on even longer. The match isn’t terrible or anything but again it shows how weak the tag divisions (yes both of them) are at this point. Merging them together would have been a great idea but we were years away from that.

The champs dance a bit.

Edge is returning from his neck surgery soon.

Here’s Jesse Ventura to do an interview because this show hasn’t drawn out long enough. His interviewee tonight: Donald Trump. Donald talks about how awesome Vince is and pledges his financial support to Jesse if he gets back into politics. That would be a very, very different interview if it happened today. Another waste of a few minutes to drag this show out even longer.

Molly Holly is ready for her title shot.

JR and Lawler talk about tomorrow’s Raw a bit.

Women’s Title: Molly Holly vs. Victoria

Victoria is defending and this is title vs. hair. Feeling out process to start with Molly taking over in the corner, only to be sent out to the floor. Back in and a quick basement dropkick gets two on the champ and we hit a neck crank. A powerslam gets two for Victoria but Lawler keeps trying to talk about the evening gown match. Molly mostly powerbombs Victoria out of the corner for two but a quick backslide retains the title at 4:56.

Rating: C-. This needed more time as they were flying through the match because they only had five minutes instead of a realistic length. If only there was some other stuff they could have cut out from the show that meant absolutely nothing and just ate up parts of the show. These two were both very talented women and they could have a good match if they were given the chance.

Victoria chases Molly up the ramp and ties her into the barber’s chair for the head shaving. Allegedly that was the only way Molly could get on the show and she couldn’t sign up fast enough.

We recap Angle vs. Guerrero. Eddie won the title about a month ago but Angle attacked him soon after. Angle didn’t think Eddie was a good enough role model for the WWE due to his past drug issues. Eventually Eddie agreed to face Smackdown General Manager Paul Heyman with his hands cuffed behind his back. Naturally this brought out Angle for a beating to really light a fire under Eddie, setting up this match.

After the long video, Molly is still being shaved and is completely bald. The fans are impressed.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Eddie is defending of course and rides out in a low rider truck. They hit the mat to start with Eddie hanging with Angle at first until Kurt grabs a headlock. A top wristlock goes well for Angle and he shoulders Eddie down for good measure. Back up and Eddie nails a hard shoulder of his own but is still feeling the effects of the arm work.

Angle easily regains control on the mat with some movement so fast that Tazz can’t even call before Angle is off to the next position. A front facelock keeps Eddie down but he reverses a suplex into an armbar of his own. That’s not cool with Angle so he gets up and grabs an abdominal stretch but the champ is right back with the Three Amigos but Angle counters into the Rolling Germans.

Eddie gets to the apron though and has to hang on tight so Kurt can’t German him out onto the floor. Instead the champ knocks Kurt to the floor but misses a top rope dive, landing ribs fist against the barricade. Kurt is smart enough to stay on the ribs as he drops them across the top rope, followed by the belly to bellys. Off to a smart bearhug but Eddie pokes him in the neck (that’s a new one) for the break.

Eddie goes up top so Kurt tries to run the buckles, only to get shoved back down. The frog splash misses though and Eddie is in trouble again. Cole is AGHAST that Kurt is throwing punches to a staggered Eddie. Guerrero tells him to bring it on so Kurt tries to roll the Germans, only to get caught in a rollup for two. A dropkick looks to set up the frog splash but Kurt is like “boy you’re getting superplexed” and the corner run works this time around.

The ankle lock is reversed and the Angle Slam is countered into a DDT. Eddie finally hits the frog splash but it’s only good for two. There’s the ankle lock again but Eddie rolls him out to the floor. With Kurt down, Eddie unlaces his boot. Angle looks up from the floor and you can see Eddie panic. The ankle lock goes on again and the boot comes off. Angle has to figure out what just happened and then charges right into a small package (with Guerrero’s feet in the ropes because he has to cheat) to retain Eddie’s title at 21:04.

Rating: A. Outstanding match here with a very creative ending. These are two guys who need almost no instruction as they’re both so good that they can do whatever you ask of them and never expect anything less than greatness. The ending makes perfect sense too as Angle is all about polish and playing by the rules but Eddie changed how they were playing out there and caught Angle off his guard. Smart stuff, as Angle controlled when it was fair so Eddie cheated to retain, yet was somehow praised for it. Funny how that works sometimes.

Angle is FURIOUS.

We recap Kane vs. Undertaker. Kane hated Undertaker for abandoning the dark side and becoming the biker so Kane helped Vince bury Undertaker alive at Survivor Series 2003. This brought back the Undertaker Kane wanted, but this Undertaker wanted revenge for being buried alive. People tend to do that at times.

Kane vs. Undertaker

Kane has a cool entrance where the set, which looks like the New York skyline, starts to burn as well. This is of course trumped by the return of Paul Bearer and the torch bearing druids. Undertaker debuts his singlet top look here which he would use for the rest of his career. His hair is still above his shoulders though so it’s a work in progress. Kane insists that Undertaker isn’t real and looks like he’s about to cry. He reaches out to see if he can touch Undertaker and gets punched in the jaw for it.

The threat of a chokeslam sends Kane out to the floor and Undertaker whips him into the apron. The apron legdrop keeps Kane in trouble but he counters the Last Ride with a backdrop. Unfortunately he doesn’t quite have his placement right and Undertaker has to put his hands out to keep himself from slamming face first into the ropes.

The top rope clothesline connects but Undertaker grabs him by the throat. Kane escapes but misses a charge in the corner to set up Old School. It still doesn’t work at Wrestlemania though and Kane catches him by the throat for the chokeslam, causing him to celebrate early. Undertaker sits up and the fans know what’s coming. Kane tries a kick to the face and Undertaker gives him a look that makes Kane want to cry again. The jumping clothesline, a chokeslam where Undertaker loses the grip and the Tombstone make Undertaker 12-0 at 6:56.

Rating: D+. What did you think was going to happen here? This was a long way of saying the old Undertaker is back and that was best for everyone as the biker was long past it’s shelf life. It would take a LONG time to figure out how to use Undertaker again and it would be a rough year, but once they figured out the formula, Undertaker was gold all over again.

Side note: so was that stuff with Bischoff sending Coach to find Undertaker just to set up the Heenan/Okerlund bit? Sounds like a bit of overkill.

Backlash ad.

We recap the main event. HHH and Shawn Michaels had continued their never ending feud at the Royal Rumble where they tied in a last man standing match. Shawn said he needed one more shot and wanted it at Wrestlemania. That’s not how it works though because Chris Benoit had won the Royal Rumble and jumped to Raw for the title shot. Shawn didn’t accept this and superkicked Benoit before signing the contract himself (because that’s how contracts work). Austin, the co-boss of Raw at the time, make it a triple threat. There was really no reason for Shawn to be in this match and it really should have been one on one.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit vs. HHH

HHH is defending and has big white boots for some reason this year. We get an old school weapons check and the fans are entirely behind Benoit. Benoit and Shawn fight over who gets to beat up HHH until Benoit tries a Crossface. HHH takes a breather on the floor until both guys are down for a bit and now it’s time to go after the challengers.

Shawn skins the cat and goes back to hammering on HHH. The high knee gets two for the champ but he has to knock Benoit back to the floor. Shawn baseball slides Benoit into HHH and takes them both down again with a moonsault press. All three get back in and Benoit has to break up a Pedigree to Shawn. Michaels is sent shoulder first into the post but the champ ties Benoit in the Tree of Woe and whips Shawn hard into him. It’s already time for the forearm and nipup but Benoit is ready for him and sends Shawn out to the floor.

The champ gets rolled with some Germans but Shawn crotches Benoit on top. Sweet Chin Music misses the champ and Shawn gets caught in a DDT. That earns HHH a Crossface until Shawn makes the save. Shawn actually tries a German on Benoit and the fans ROAR when Benoit reverses into a trio of them. The Swan Dive gets two on Shawn and all three are down. Benoit is knocked to the floor so we can get the Shawn vs. HHH quota out of the way. Sweet Chin Music is good for two with Benoit making a last second save.

All three head outside and you can hear the impending sounds of tables cracking. It’s back inside first though and Benoit is catapulted into the post to bust him open. The Crossface goes on again but HHH grabs the hand to stop the tap. They go outside again with Benoit’s shoulder meeting the steps and now it’s announcers’ table time. A double suplex puts Benoit through the table and Shawn’s blood is all over his chest.

So it’s HHH vs. Shawn again, which JR calls ten years in the making, even if HHH hasn’t worked here for nine years yet. JR is screaming for an EMT for Benoit as a cameraman gets taken out. HHH is whipped into the steps and the fans pick Shawn of their remaining options. The champion is busted too but a quick Pedigree puts both guys down. Somehow Benoit saves Shawn again before Michaels falls to the floor.

Benoit puts HHH in a Sharpshooter and pulls him back to the middle of the ring until Shawn superkicks Benoit down. JR’s voice is going quickly as all three are down again. Benoit dumps Shawn to the floor and counters the Pedigree into the Crossface. HHH is almost out but he kicks backwards, only to have Benoit hold on and crank back on it right in the middle of the ring for the submission and the title at 24:07.

Rating: A+. Do you really have to ask here? This is the best triple threat match of all time with all three guys doing exactly what they needed to do as well as they could do it. It was really hard to believe that Benoit wasn’t going to win in the end but they came as close as they could have to make me think it might not happen. Outstanding match here and exactly how Benoit should have been put over on the grandest stage of them all in the main event of Wrestlemania. It doesn’t get bigger than that, period.

Benoit celebrates and here’s longtime friend Eddie Guerrero comes out to hug him as confetti falls to end the show.

The Vince dark room video and part of his speech take us to the highlight package.

Overall Rating: A-. Oh they were close with this one but there’s about an hour long stretch in the middle that goes from worthless to trying to cram too much in there to…..whatever Goldberg vs. Lesnar was to another lame Tag Team Title match and it really drags down what could have been one of the best of all time. I mean, did we need both Tag Team Title matches and the lingerie stuff? The appeal is obvious but this show needed a few more edits to get it down from FOUR AND A HALF HOURS.

Now that being said, you’re not going to find a better one two combination than Angle vs. Guerrero and the triple threat for a very long time and that’s more than enough to carry the show. Couple those matches with some other REALLY fun stuff like the Christian vs. Jericho match and a fun outing from Cena plus the great handicap match and you have a great show. If this was about forty five minutes shorter, it could be up there with XVII and XIX as one of the best ever. Unfortunately there’s too much clogging it up and that brings the show far lower than it should be. Watch it with a remote to fast forward and you’ll have a blast.

Ratings Comparison

John Cena vs. Big Show

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Booker T/Rob Van Dam vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Dudley Boys vs. La Resistance

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Original: A

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Torrie Wilson/Sable vs. Stacy Keibler/Miss Jackie

Original: F

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Cruiserweight Open

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: F

2013 Redo: E

2015 Redo: F

Too Cool vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A

Undertaker vs. Kane

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Chris Benoit vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: A-

That’s as close to identical as you’re going to get.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/27/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-20-where-it-all-begins-again-with-two-dead-guys/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/29/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xx-nearly-a-masterpiece/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XVI
Date: April 2, 2000
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 19,776
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

In addition to the four way title match, there are two other multi-man matches of note. First, Kurt Angle will be defending his Intercontinental and European Titles in back to back triple threat matches (considered one match with two falls) against Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho. Other than that, the tag division is getting a big boost with the Hardy Boyz, the Dudley Boyz (also recent arrivals) and Edge and Christian in the first ever triangle ladder match for the Tag Team Titles. Let’s get to it.

One last note: this show marks the return to the 3+ hour shows after years of under three hours.

Lillian Garcia sings the heck out of the National Anthem, as she always does.

The opening video focuses on the history of Wrestlemania for a few moments before jumping into the four way main event. They make sure to mention the McMahon in every corner and how it’s all about the four of them. This was a major problem with the match which we’ll get to later but it’s certainly true.

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan

Godfather is now a full on pimp and Brown is his partner in good guy crime. Buchanan is an athletic big man and Boss Man’s protege who never went beyond the low midcard. Ice T raps Brown and Godfather to the ring with a song called Pimp or Die. Of note: one of the Godfather’s women clearly falls down as she reaches ringside with the camera catching her going down. Godfather gives his usual speech about pimping nationwide and tells us to light up our blunts and say pimpin ain’t easy. This was quite the different time as you might be able to tell.

Brown and Buchanan get things going with D’Lo kicking him in the face and Godfather clotheslining an invading Boss Man. Godfather, in his shiny silver top, comes in for the spinning legdrop. A hook kick puts Boss Man down for two before it’s back to Buchanan and Brown with Bull doing his awesome run up the corner into a spinning top rope clothesline. Unfortunately that’s about the extent of his good moves so it’s back to Boss Man for two off an uppercut.

Lawler continues to oogle the lady in red as Brown keeps taking his beating. A cross body goes badly for D’Lo and JR compares it to a fair catch in the XFL. JR: “Which won’t exist.” Godfather shakes the ropes to crotch Buchanan and Brown brings him down with a top rope hurricanrana. The hot tag brings in Godfather for some house cleaning and everything breaks down, allowing Boss Man to hit his namesake slam, followed by a guillotine legdrop (and a good one) from Buchanan for the pin at 9:05.

Rating: D. Buchanan’s stuff looked good but who thought it was a good idea to have the heels, especially these heels, win the opening match? The length didn’t help this either. Godfather was starting to outlive his usefulness as an opening act at this point, partially due to the Parents Television Council complaining about the adult nature of the character. This would lead to a major change of pace for Godfather, which we’ll get to later on.

HHH and Women’s Champion Stephanie are loving life in the back.

Earlier today, the referees held a conference with all the participants in the hardcore battle royal. The title had been defended 24/7 with title matches taking place at any given time and in any given place. For tonight though, the rule is only enforced for the fifteen minute time limit. After that time comes to an end, the last person to pin the champion leaves with the title.

Hardcore Title: Hardcore Battle Royal

Tazz, Crash Holly, Hardcore Holly, Viscera, Joey Abs, Rodney, Pete Gas, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Thrasher, Mosh, Faarooq, Bradshaw

Crash (Hardcore’s cousin) is defending coming in, meaning he has to be pinned or made to submit for the title to change hands in the first place. Tazz is still the Human Suplex Machine here a fierce guy despite his smaller stature. Funaki is Taka’s partner in Kai En Tai. It’s a big brawl to start with only Tazz and Crash staying in the ring. A suplex makes Tazz champion in 24 seconds, and yes these title reigns are all official. Viscera rams Tazz into the post and slams him down for the pin at 1:00.

The Mean Street Posse gets together for some weapon shots to Viscera to almost no avail. Crash is already busted open. The Acolytes beat Viscera up instead and everyone else beats on each other. Funaki hits Mosh with a box fan and Bradshaw cleans house with a cookie sheet. Some people finally start going after Viscera but he easily kicks out. We’re under ten minutes now and Pete Gas is bleeding too.

Viscera holds court in the ring with the cookie sheets but goes up top for no logical reason. The Acolytes destroy Kai En Tai with Taka taking a wicked powerbomb before going over to slam Viscera down. Some 2×4 shots to the back and a top rope shoulder from Bradshaw allows them to throw Kai En Tai on top, giving Funaki the pin at 7:51. Taka immediately goes after his partner but Funaki is suddenly the smartest man in the match as he runs away. The Posse catches up to him though and Rodney throws him against a wall for the pin and the title at 8:11 in his only televised pinfall.

Joey runs in with a gutwrench suplex for the pin and the title at 8:24. Thrasher clotheslines Joey for the title at 8:46. Thrasher tries to run away but gets attacked by a bunch of people with a weapon each. Somehow he survives though, only to get sprayed with a fire extinguisher by Pete Gas for the pin and the title at 9:29. That would be Pete’s second and final pin on TV.

With just under five minutes left, Tazz grabs a suplex for the pin at 10:17. Hardcore immediately sends him into the steps for two but Mosh decks Hardcore from behind. Probably out of instinct, Tazz covers Mosh for two. Tazz fights both Holly cousins inside as Bradshaw beats up the Posse out of pure principle. We have two minutes left and the cousins start trying to pin Tazz and Hardcore’s dropkick gets two. Crash hits Tazz in the head with a cookie sheet for the pin and the title at 14:20 but Tazz is right up with the Tazmission (his signature choke).

Hardcore comes back in with a candy jar to bust over Tazz’s head (and getting a piece of glass in his eye, though Tazz was fine.) and covers Crash but the ending is screwed up. Hardcore was supposed to have him beaten as the time expired but he came in early, meaning the referee has to stop the count for no good reason. Not that it matters as Hardcore is declared the new champion at 15:00 to end the match.

Rating: D+. Well that certainly happened. This really needed to have about five minutes cut out as you can only get into people hitting each other with the same weapons for so long (a lesson they would take two years to learn). The rapid fire title changes and stuff like the Posse trading the title was fine but this started dragging in the middle. Crash would get the title back the next night to fix the error at the end.

Long Axxess video.

Al Snow is in a bathroom and talking to someone we can’t see. His partner Steve Blackman comes in to say play it serious tonight. They comprise the team of Head Cheese because Snow has Head and…..well what else would you call them?

Head Cheese vs. T&A

T&A are Test and Albert (a big bald power guy) with the recently debuted Trish Stratus (when she was in even better shape than when she was in her peak years) as their manager. Snow brings out the man from the bathroom: the team’s new mascot Chester McCheeserton, a guy in a cheese costume. The audio starts crackling and JR’s microphone goes out for a bit (Lawler is very happy) as Blackman kicks Test in the face to start.

Snow comes in and gets double teamed until it’s off to Blackman to trade shoulders with Albert. Everything breaks down for a bit as the fans are just quiet here. You can see a lot of empty seats where people are getting popcorn during this match and I can’t blame them. Albert gets in trouble as the cheese goes after Trish who rightfully ignores him. Blackman’s middle rope headbutt gets two as Lawler calls the cheese Chester the Molester. A butterfly suplex finally gets Albert out of trouble and it’s off to Test for two off a side slam.

Albert comes back in for a big double powerbomb on Al as JR is using his code (“These styles are clashing” and “It’s bowling shoe ugly”) to say this match is horrible. Snow drops a middle rope leg on Test but Albert saves to keep this mess going. The Baldo Bomb (chokebomb) puts Snow on the floor and Albert gorilla presses Blackman, setting up Test’s top rope elbow for the pin at 7:03.

Rating: F. This match is in the running for the worst match in Wrestlemania history. The joke before the match was terrible, the match was AWFUL, the story was non-existent and the silence from the fans who stayed in the arena was eerie. Other than Trish, I saw nothing good about this and no redeeming value. It’s a total failure all around.

Post match Head Cheese beats up Chester in a really mean and out of character attack. The team didn’t go anywhere or last long in case you weren’t sure.

We get the comedy spot of the show with female wrestler the Kat in her dressing room but her veteran manager Mae Young keeps putting various things in front of various parts of Kat. I’m sure you get the joke.

D-Von Dudley thinks this ladder match is another way for the WWF to hold the Dudleyz down. Bubba, still with a thick southern accent, promises to take Wrestlemania and the ladder match to a new level of violence. His stutter kicks in right before he can drop an F bomb.

Tag Team Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

These three teams have been feuding with each other for months. Edge and Christian and the Hardyz had a great ladder match last year so why not add the Dudleyz (defending here) and make it a three way ladder match? Officially this is a triangle ladder match but it’s really just Tables, Ladders and Chairs (TLC) before the TLC match was named.

Everyone brawls to start and it’s going to be almost impossible to keep track of everything going on. Jeff takes Bubba out with the Whisper in the Wind but gets caught in the Bubba Bomb. Christian brings in the first ladder but Matt makes the save. All six get inside and a second ladder is loaded up.

Instead of climbing though, both challenging teams put a ladder over a Dudley in the corners, only to have the Hardyz take out Edge and Christian. Jeff puts Bubba on the ladder but Bubba avoids the 450 for the first big crash. Bubba one ups Jeff by putting the ladder onto Jeff and hitting his middle rope backsplash with his own head crashing into the ladder.

Christian puts a ladder on Matt so Edge can ride another ladder down to crush Matt. With everyone else down, Bubba puts a ladder around his own head and spins around to blast everyone not named D-Von in the face. Edge and Christian dropkick the ladder to take over though before nailing D-Von as well. Christian dives off a ladder to take out Matt and Bubba, leaving Edge to spear Jeff off a ladder.

Now it’s D-Von going up so Christian just throws a ladder at him for the save. A HUGE Bubba Cutter brings Christian down and now the fans are understanding what they’re in for with this one. The Hardys’ legdrop/splash combo from the ladders brings the people to their feet again as the match starts to slow down a bit due to all of the crashing.

A double superplex off the ladder brings D-Von down, leaving Edge and Christian and the Hardys to climb two ladders, only to knock each other off for some huge crashes. There’s not much else you can do here aside from just listing spots as it’s one big move after another. Now all six go up on three ladders with Jeff and Christian falling all the way down to the floor (with NOTHING to catch them). Bubba goes down as well and ever the spoiled sport, he shoves the other two ladders and all three other guys down against the ropes.

The Dudleyz are left alone so they pick up the ladders and crush Christian, who somehow can still walk. 3D takes Edge down (thankfully not onto a ladder) and now it’s table time. Why the Dudleyz need those isn’t clear but why let common sense get in the way of your gimmick. To crank things up though, the Dudleyz put a table on top of two ladders like a scaffold. Another pair of tables is set under the scaffold but D-Von’s headbutt misses Jeff and only hits table.

Bubba keeps his team’s fortunes up by powerbombing Matt off the announcers’ table and through another ladder at ringside. Jeff gets up and tries to run across the barricade as is his custom but Bubba pelts a ladder at him. There’s something to cringe worthy about someone flying through the air and crashing into a big piece of metal.

Now we start the tradition of the huge ladder, which is set up on the floor and is almost as high as the ones in the ring. Jeff is laid out in front of it but Christian hits Bubba in the head with the bell, allowing Jeff to go for a climb. With nothing to lose (save for most of the bones in his spine), Jeff Swantons off the ladder for one of the biggest crashes ever up to this point. The wide shot makes it look even better and the fans are rightfully stunned.

Back in the ring, Christian and Matt climb onto the scaffold but Edge shoves Matt off and through the last table in the ring. The table almost explodes as Matt crashes through it and the fans are fired up all over again as Edge and Christian pull down the titles for their first championship at 22:25.

Rating: A-. This was a different kind of match than these three teams would have later on as they were just going from spot to spot here without the flow that they would have. However, this is still an amazing spectacle that got the fans into things once they gave it a chance to get going. This was ALL about going higher and higher with each step, but they didn’t know how high they could go yet. Later the matches would be about seeing how high they could take it and the results would be pure carnage. Here it’s more about fitting stuff in but it’s still an awesome match.

Mick Foley (not Mankind or Cactus Jack) is with Linda and says that this is the biggest match on the biggest show of the year so it’s the biggest match of his life. Fairy tales can come true and it could happen to HHH, Rock and Big Show, BUT IT WON’T because it’s happening to him.

JR and Lawler rave about the ladder match.

Terri Runnels vs. The Kat

This is billed as a catfight and is more about the managers (Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young respectfully) than the wrestlers. Val Venis is the referee (sporting a referee towel instead of shirt) and you win by throwing your opponent to the floor, making it a two man battle royal. They’re not even trying to hide the fact that this is just a cool down match after the previous war. These two don’t really have a reason for fighting other than being catty with each other.

Before the match, Venis does one of his signature innuendo laden promo, talking about how he and Wrestlemania are both extravaganzas that get your blood pumping, but Wrestlemania only comes once a year. Both women are in see thru bodysuits with bikinis underneath. Kat’s is made of fishnet, thereby making her Lawler’s favorite.

They brawl to start until Val breaks it up, only to have both of them kiss him. Kat spears her down but Mae gets on the apron to try to flash Val. Terri is thrown to the floor but the referee doesn’t see it, meaning it’s time for Mae to kiss Val as well. Both girls actually in the match fall outside but Moolah throws Terri back inside for the win at 2:26. Total mess of course, but at least they didn’t try to hide what they were doing here.

Mae gives Moolah a Bronco Buster post match and Kat strips Terri.

Wrestlemania XVII will be in Houston.

The Radicalz (minus Chris Benoit) are ready for the six person tag but Eddie is too busy checking his hair to impress Chyna.

Too Cool (Grandmaster Sexay and Scotty 2 Hotty, formerly Too Much) and Chyna are ready too.

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

It’s Guerrero/Malenko/Saturn here. Eddie has been hitting on Chyna lately so she got some help and it’s time for a tag match. Too Cool has gone from jokes to a nice surprise as a midcard act due to getting over and the company giving them a chance. That is almost blasphemy today. Chyna has her fireworks bazooka which was actually pretty cool.

Eddie and Scotty get things going as the fans are all over Guerrero, likely due to him knocking off Scotty’s hat. It’s quickly off to Chyna, sending Eddie crawling over on his knees to grab Malenko’s legs. JR says Chyna looks hot, which is very outside of his standard character. A double suplex puts Dean down and it’s time for Chyna to dance. Now it’s Grandmaster suplexing Eddie down but Saturn breaks up the Hip Hop Drop (top rope legdrop).

Saturn goes even more evil by stealing Grandmaster’s bandana, which just makes Grandmaster look stupid. Scotty comes in and is quickly hot shotted to keep the Radicalz in control. The fans only care about Eddie and Chyna here and Guerrero soaks it all up like the master he was. Grandmaster’s interference only works for a bit and Scotty busts out a double Worm, followed by Saturn kicking him in the face.

Saturn (barely) hits a top rope elbow but Eddie gets superplexed, finally allowing the hot tag to Chyna. House is quickly cleaned and a double low blow gets rid of Saturn and Malenko. Chyna is barely able to powerbomb Eddie so she grabs him between the legs and gorilla presses him while trying to keep the side of her tights from splitting any further. A quick sleeper drop puts Eddie away at 9:39.

Rating: C-. Watchable but mostly average match with the fans only caring about Eddie vs. Chyna, which was quite the hot story around this time. Things would pick up even more the next night as Chyna suddenly fell for the Latino Heat and hooked up with Eddie for months. This was an acceptable use of ten minutes, if nothing else as a way to advance the Eddie vs. Chyna story.

Some fans won a trip to Wrestlemania.

Shane and Big Show say they’ll win and that it’s Game Over.

Earlier tonight, Kurt Angle beat up Bob Backlund for suggesting that he defend both titles. This goes nowhere.

Angle asks for some extra security for his victory celebration and offers the guard autographs if he does it. Smug Angle was pure gold and one of the most genuinely hilarious characters the company has ever had. He was such a goofy dork but he sold the whole thing as well as anyone could have done. The in ring abilities made it even better but the character made Angle greater than anything he did in a match.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

This is a two fall match with Angle defending the Intercontinental Title first and the European Title second. The three of them have been feuding for months with Angle taking the Intercontinental Title from Jericho last month at No Way Out 2000. Before the match, Jericho says he can’t guarantee that he’ll walk out a champion but he can guarantee that Benoit and Angle will have bumps and bruises from a Y2J beating that they will never EVER forget again. So they’ll forget it at least once?

Angle gets chopped down to start as Lawler calls Backlund an idiot for setting this up. Jericho’s springboard dropkick is broken up by Benoit so Jericho dropkicks them both outside at the same time. Angle gets in his first offense with a flapjack to send Jericho into the steps. Back in and Benoit trades suplexes with Angle as Lawler channels Bobby Heenan by praising Angle for everything.

Jericho goes up again and Benoit shoves him down again, making me think that Jericho needs to adjust his strategy. He tries ANOTHER dropkick from the ropes, this time getting two on Angle as Benoit makes the save. A camel clutch on Benoit doesn’t get Jericho anywhere so he goes back to Angle, only to get caught in the crossface chickenwing. Jericho starts to fade but Benoit comes back in and throws Angle to the floor. A quick Swan Dive is good for the pin on Jericho, giving Benoit the Intercontinental Title at 7:56.

Angle is all ticked off and starts erupting with suplexes to Benoit, only to have Jericho break up the moonsault. Benoit belly to back superplexes Jericho down and rolls away from a great looking moonsault to leave all three guys down. Back up and it’s Jericho taking over with a forearm and spinwheel kick, followed by the double powerbomb (one powerbomb after another without breaking his grip) to Angle.

Benoit is right back in with the rolling Germans for two on Jericho. Angle takes a German of his own and the referee counts even though Kurt’s shoulder is WAY off the mat. What a patriot. Benoit makes Jericho tap to the Crossface but the ref got bumped. Serves him right for trying to cheat an American hero. Just like everyone else, Benoit lets go of the hold instead of doing as much damage to Jericho as possible. Angle avoids another Swan Dive but Jericho is right back up with a Lionsault for the pin on Benoit and the European Title at 13:48 total.

Rating: B. This is quite the concept and there’s no way any combination of these three can go wrong. It’s also a very efficient way to get both titles off Angle without having him, the hottest prospect of them all, get pinned or have to tap out. Also well done on not having the standard triple threat formula and just letting everyone fight at the same time with the guys being down for logical reasons instead of the script calling for it. Good match, good idea, very good execution. What more can you ask for?

Vince says that Rock is very confident that Rock will win tonight. Rock however isn’t there with him. Vince guarantees to make it right tonight. You can see the swerve coming from here.

HHH promises Stephanie that he won’t allow himself to be beaten tonight.

X-Pac/Road Dogg vs. Rikishi/Kane

Rikishi is finally in his most famous gimmick and near his highest popularity. Kane has the always awesome inverted color scheme for his attire and Paul Bearer in his corner. X-Pac and Road Dogg, the once again heel DX, have Tori (now a hot valet) with them. Tori left Kane for X-Pac and this is the result with the many showdowns coming later. Kane goes after Tori to start and Road Dogg gets an early Stink Face.

Tori has to be saved from the same fate and DX’s attempt to leave fails. We settle down and X-Pac gets in a Bronco Buster on Rikishi before it’s off to Road Dogg for the dancing punches. Rikishi shrugs them off and brings in Kane for the big monster offense, but Kane goes after Tori instead. The Stink Face works this time and Kane Tombstones X-Pac for the pin at 4:14.

Rating: D. The match was bad but there’s another reason this is happening which we’ll get to in a few seconds. Rikishi was helping fight DX so he fit in here, but this was little more than filler. Kane’s attire and Tori as a good blonde there to look good and make you hate X-Pac even more worked fine.

Post match Too Cool and the San Diego Chicken come out to dance. Kane doesn’t buy it but the Chicken dances a lot better than you would expect from Rose. After they’re done, Kane goes after the Chicken but Pete Rose runs in with the ball bat, only to get chokeslammed, followed by a Stink Face to end this saga once and for all. Well until Rose showed up on Raw about ten years later. Rose certainly did whatever he needed to do and turned this one idea into an awesome three year running joke.

Rock talks about going through everything in the last year to get back to Wrestlemania to reclaim his title. All the chokeslams, all the Mandible Claws and all the Pedigrees are worth it because he has one more shot to become champion. This is the intense Rock and it works almost as well as the funny version. He skips the eyebrow though.

Martin Short, Michael Clarke Duncan and French Stewart are here.

Again no official recap, but HHH retired Foley, Rock won the Rumble and Show proved that he really won the Rumble.

WWF World Title: Mick Foley vs. Big Show vs. The Rock vs. HHH

Elimination rules and No DQ. HHH is defending and we’ve got a rare occurrence of all four McMahons in one place. Rock and Vince come out together here for their first appearance together tonight. Show and Rock pair off while Foley pounds the champ down in the corner with some fast punches. With Rock down in the corner, Show runs the other two over with a double clothesline. Show can’t pick which guy to beat up so Foley jumps on his back, giving us a repeat of last year’s spot with Show falling backwards to crush Foley’s ribs.

Mick is right back up to break up a chokeslam to HHH (why would he do that?) and it’s a triple team on Big Show. Three straight clotheslines put the giant down but HHH just can’t work with Foley that long and a fight breaks out again. Show kicks Rock in the face but Foley hits Show in the back with a chair, knocking him into the Rock Bottom for the pin to get rid of the giant at 4:50. What a worthless addition Show was.

The three remaining guys all stare at each other and it’s HHH trying to strike a deal with both of them. Rock actually goes for it before nailing HHH from behind and the double teaming is on. They all head outside where Rock accidentally hits Foley with the bell, making Lawler even happier than in the women’s match earlier. Rock isn’t as strong as you would think though as Foley is up just a few seconds later….and he has a 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire. HHH low blows him to take it away though and hits Foley in the ribs but AGAIN Foley doesn’t seem in that much trouble.

This time it’s the Mandible Claw on HHH, who turns into a belt shot from Rock. The People’s Elbow is broken up by a Mandible Claw to Rock but the champ low blows them both to put all three down. Foley’s double arm DDT gets two on Rock and Rock’s single arm version gets the same with HHH making the save for some reason. Mick and HHH actually work together on Rock with Foley’s knee lift getting two (No save from HHH, making Rock look more like a threat than Foley, who HHH believes he can beat. That’s a nice touch.).

The double teaming continues on the floor but Rock whips Mick knees first into the steps. Foley pops up for the third time though and nails Rock with the steps. HHH loads up the Spanish announcers’ table and has Foley go to the middle rope for the elbow….which is left about three feet short, sending him ribs first into the table in a very sad sight. HHH has to drop about three elbows to put Rock through the table before taking Foley inside for the Pedigree……for two? JR: “HE DID IT!” A BIG chair to the head sets up the second Pedigree (with Foley collapsing) for the pin at 19:40, sending Foley into retirement for four years.

Foley takes one last bow but comes back to the ring for one good barbed wire 2×4 shot to HHH’s head (busting him open) to go out on. Somehow that’s only good for two for Rock so let’s go outside again. Rock beats him up in front of the Titantron and takes it back to ringside. HHH swings a chair to knock the steps into Rock’s face, followed by a piledriver onto the steps. This is the main event of Wrestlemania though so it’s finishers or rollups only, meaning Rock kicks out at two again.

The Pedigree is broken up and they go into the crowd for more time killing brawling. Back to ringside again with Rock suplexing the champ through the announcers’ table and it’s time for more waiting. HHH is up first but Vince sends him into the post, only to have Shane (why is he still here?) hit his dad from behind. Well you knew this was coming. A big monitor shot to the head knocks Vince silly but he’s up after a ridiculous TWENTY THREE SECONDS. Vince just got hit in the head with a monitor and he’s up and going after Shane in less than thirty seconds. Who is this match supposed to showcase again?

Shane opts for a chair shot to the head and this time Vince stays down, even shedding some blood. We FINALLY go back to the match with Rock DDTing HHH, drawing Stephanie’s ridiculous looking bug eyes. The barbed wire board to Rock’s head stuns him but he’s still able to catapult HHH into Shane. HHH walks into the Rock Bottom but here’s Vince to punch Shane….and then hit Rock with a chair because SWERVE! Rock kicks out at two so Vince hits him in the head with the chair again, giving HHH the pin to retain at 36:31. That’s the first time a heel has left Wrestlemania as champion.

Rating: C+. Oh man this is a rough one. Above all else, the McMahons. They started off as background noise but by the end they were the only things that mattered here as it turned into yet another Vince/Shane/Stephanie drama, which had been the big story for the last year in one form or another. They pretty much gave away the Vince turn earlier and that doesn’t help an already bad idea.

That leaves us with the match itself, which really isn’t very good. The problem here is that they clearly spend so much time laying around and filling in time because the match goes longer than it should. Now that being said, it’s still Rock vs. HHH for eighteen minutes after Rock vs. HHH vs. Foley for about fifteen minutes so the action is at least watchable. The problem is there’s not enough action or excitement.

There were barely any near falls or moments of drama once it got down to one on one. You have the cover after Foley left (not happening), the piledriver on the steps (maybe) and the first chair shot from Vince (good near fall). You really need more than that in a long match, especially with all this other drama that really adds nothing on the outside. What you have instead is a lot of brawling, a lot of selling (fine, but not when it’s selling on the floor with no drama) and a lot of being on the floor or in the crowd. The action was good but it was bogged down by too much other stuff.

So how do you fix it? You have Rock vs. HHH instead of the four way. I understand the idea here but it’s not the kind of match to end Wrestlemania. If you want to do the four way, do it at Backlash where the pressure is gone and go with the big title win here. Foley not being around would have been a loss, but the match would have been better overall, unless you don’t have Rock in the main event here, which would mean changing the booking months before Wrestlemania. The four way was unique but it really didn’t work in this spot, at least not like it needed to do.

Vince and Stephanie reunite but Vince yells at Shane. Rock comes back in to lay out all three of them with Rock Bottoms and a People’s Elbow to Stephanie (to be fair, she slapped him after he beat up Vince and Shane). Rock poses a lot to take us to the highlight package.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s the biggest show of the year in the best year they ever had and I think they just collapsed under the weight. You had two really good matches to carry the show but the main event is more like a disappointing experiment. The rest ranges from bad to wasting time with some bizarre choices like the Head Cheese mess.

The strangest part here is what this led to, as Backlash later in the month would be the show of the year with all the fallout from Wrestlemania, including Rock beating HHH to win the World Title. There are FAR worse Wrestlemanias but this was really more like a commercial for the next few months. Check out the triple threat and the ladder match but just get to the next year’s show otherwise.

Ratings Comparison

Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan vs. D’Lo Brown/Godfather

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Hardcore Battle Royal

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: D+

T&A vs. Head Cheese

Original: F

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo A-

The Kat vs. Terri Runnels

Original: F

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B

Rikishi/Kane vs. D-Generation X

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

HHH vs. The Rock vs. Big Show vs. Mick Foley

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Not much changes in a few years.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/23/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-16-they-thought-this-was-a-good-idea/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/25/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xvi-the-worst-show-from-the-best-year/

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 23, 2003
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 14,451
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re in the World’s Most Famous Arena for one of the weaker stretches in WWE history. However, there’s a heck of a main event tonight as HHH defends the World Title against Kane in a champion vs. mask match. That’s an area that we’ve touched on over the years with Kane but the idea of HHH actually losing the title doesn’t seem likely anytime soon. Something’s got to give so let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Scott Steiner/Booker T. vs. Test/Christian

Two feuds in one is often a good way to go. Christian takes Booker into the corner for some right hands before the much taller Canadian gets to do the same. Test mocks Steiner’s pushups and the delay allows Booker to hit the spinning kick to the face. The hot tag brings in Steiner to toss people around, including sending Christian out to the floor. Test grabs Stacy though, earning himself a slap. He shoves Steiner into her though and, since WWE Divas have the weakest ankles ever, Stacy twists her ankle. Booker and Christian take each other out, allowing Test to boot Steiner in the face for the pin.

Rating: D. This Test vs. Steiner feud is getting worse and worse every single week. Test beating up Mae Young last week helped him a little, though his complete lack of talking skills and charisma hold him back a lot. Booker and Christian were glorified window dressing here, which shouldn’t be the case for the Intercontinental Title feud.

Kane looks around stoically as we look at his debut in 1997.

Teddy Long and Christopher Nowinski come out to talk about how unfairly Chris has been treated. He’s been discriminated against due to his intelligence, which is the only reason he didn’t win Tough Enough. It’s thuggin and buggin time.

Maven vs. Christopher Nowinski

Maven reverses a suplex into a rollup and wins in thirty seconds with a rollup.

Evolution arrived earlier.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Chris Jericho ripping on the New York fans. He wants to talk about Steve Austin interrupting Lance Storm’s match last week to call him boring. Storm is the guest tonight and he has a prepared statement. No one enjoys a good laugh more than he does but Austin crossed a line last week. His in-ring abilities should be more than enough to entertain people and if you want bells and whistles, go to the circus. Therefore, please stop chanting BORING.

At the end of the statement though, here are some movers to take away the set. Austin comes up on screen to say they’re boring Madison Square Garden to death. Instead of reading prepared statements and Jericho annoying him in general, let’s have a tag team match right now.

Chris Jericho/Lance Storm vs. Dudley Boyz

The Canadians jump them during the entrances until the Dudleys run Storm over and toss him outside. We settle down to Bubba hammering away until Jericho trips him from the floor. The running crotch attack to the back connects and a belly to back suplex makes it even worse. Storm’s boring leg lariat sets up a chinlock before it’s back to Jericho for a quickly broken Walls.

It’s another chinlock and there go those chants again. Storm switches to a sleeper and Lawler can’t help but make boring jokes. Bubba gets out with a suplex and makes the hot tag to D-Von. Everything breaks down with a neckbreaker to both Canadians. Jericho gets flapjacked and What’s Up hits Storm but the table request takes too long. It’s Storm coming back in with the springboard clothesline for two on D-Von, only to have the 3D put Storm away in short order.

Rating: B-. They were moving out there, but the boring stuff got annoying in a hurry. I kind of get what they’re going for there but at the same time it’s hardly the most logical move in the world to get someone over. Also, Storm is now a combination of boring and a loser. Maybe it’s a long term project but my goodness it’s taking a questionable road to get there.

We look back at Evolution stealing Kane’s mask five months ago.

Randy Orton and Ric Flair mock Mick Foley’s Tietam Brown in the traditional not so subtle plug. Their goal for tonight is to have HHH retain the title.

Here are La Resistance to sing the French National Anthem. This rendition makes me long for the days of Nikolai Volkoff though as singing certainly isn’t their strong point, which I think is kind of the point. However, it’s about to get worse.

La Resistance vs. Sgt Slaughter/Hurricane

Non-title. Sarge is looking huge but the fans definitely respond to him. Hurricane dives off the top onto Grenier, leaving Slaughter to knock Dupree around. We hit the cobra clutch for a second until Dupree makes a rope. Grenier uses the distraction to get in a belt shot for the fast pin. Hurricane was never in the match.

We look at Austin trying to fire Kane up a few weeks ago. This is treated as one of Kane’s memory (complete with the screen getting all wavy as it ends), meaning we now have a camera in his head. Somehow this isn’t quite the surprise.

Here’s Austin for an announcement: Wrestlemania XX is coming to Madison Square Garden. As for tonight though, he’d like to have Mick Foley come out here right now. He knows Foley is going out on a book tour and yes he’d like an autographed copy. Before he goes though, Austin has a little gift. After Foley steps away to avoid a Stunner, Austin brings out some people who used to wrestle in ECW with a framed Hardcore Title. He’s not done though as we get a music video about Foley with quite the set of highlights. Foley: “I almost forgot how good I was!”

Before he can go anywhere else though, here’s Vince McMahon to interrupt. Vince brings up Foley saying he would never be back here again yet here he is. That’s not cool with Vince from a personal standpoint but from a professional standpoint, it’s something else. Therefore, Vince has two words for Foley: thank you.

Foley shakes his hand but wants a hug, much to Vince’s annoyance. He used to mock wrestlers for crying during their great moments but that’s the case right now. We get the required cheap pop and Al Snow joke, Foley talks about the Snuka vs. Muraco match where he knew what he wanted to do for the rest of his life. In the words of Dorothy Gale, there’s no place like home, so he hopes he’ll be welcome back in a WWE ring at some point again. One last thing: in the words of Frosty the Snowman (noted hardcore philosopher), “I’ll say goodbye, but don’t you cry. I’ll be back again someday.”

It’s kind of random to have Foley show up less than a month ago and then have a big goodbye ceremony but this felt like a big way to make up for the way he left before. Foley deserves a big sendoff like this and I’m glad to see it be such a nice moment. At least he went out on good terms for once, which isn’t always the case.

Shawn Michaels/Kevin Nash vs. Ric Flair/Randy Orton

Shawn chops away at Flair to start so it’s off to Orton to trade right hands. Nash gets the side slam on Orton, followed by the framed elbows to Flair in the corner. With Evolution on the floor, Shawn hits a slingshot corkscrew dive to take them out and we go to a break after a rather pedestrian first part.

Back with Shawn getting stomped down by Orton and starting in on the arm. Flair comes in for an armbar of his own, which looks so out of place from him. Even more armbarring from Orton goes nowhere as I’m longing for more Slaughter to energize this tag match. A collision allows for the hot tag to Nash to clean a few rooms of the house.

Flair saves Orton from the Jackknife and it’s a double clothesline to put Evolution down. That’s enough from Nash so it’s back to the winded Shawn as they’ve managed to bore New York City. Sweet Chin Music is blocked but Orton is sent outside. The top rope elbow hits Flair and Sweet Chin Music is good for the easy pin.

Rating: D-. What in the world was that supposed to be? No one in the match looked interested in being there and it was eight minutes of lame arm work. Nash barely did anything and Orton was just there for the sake of being there. In other words, this might as well have been Shawn vs. Flair II, though I’m not sure how much good it was going to be. I have no idea what was wrong here as they’re definitely capable of better.

Video of Kane agreeing to the match last week.

The fans think Kane will win the title 56% to 44%, which surprises JR.

Foley signed a book to Vince but Evolution comes in with Foley getting beaten down at Orton’s hands. A bottle to the head cuts Foley off and Orton kicks him down the stairs. Vince sees him down and says he needs a janitor to get Foley up.

Here are Teddy Long and Rodney Mack for another FIVE MINUTE WHITE BOY CHALLENGE!

Goldberg vs. Rodney Mack

Knees to the ribs (no spear) and the Jackhammer end Mack faster than Maven beat Nowinski. Well that woke them up.

Rob Van Dam gives Kane a pep talk and Kane breaks a mirror he’s been looking into all night.

We get a Wrestlemania Recall, which isn’t from New York City. It is however of Stephanie, with HHH Pedigreeing her at XVIII.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Kane

Kane is challenging and it’s mask vs. title. They start fast with HHH being sent into the corner and getting caught in a choke. There’s no slam quite yet though so Kane takes him outside and sends him into the steps instead. Flair gets in the ring for a distraction though and HHH scores with a chair to the head.

Back from a break with HHH scoring with a spinebuster before botching a DDT. Thankfully Kane sits straight up so HHH pulls him down by the hair (called a neckbreaker) for the same level of effectiveness. A powerslam gives Kane two and the top rope clothesline connects….only to bump the ref. He’s not bumped well enough though so Kane runs him over for good measure.

Flair tries to bring in the belt to no avail as Kane knocks HHH silly for two instead from a second referee. HHH’s low blow into the Pedigree gets two and Kane sends HHH into Flair. The chokeslam is loaded up but Orton comes in with a low blow and the RKO. The second Pedigree retains the title.

Rating: D. So this was basically a pay per view main event match with HHH going with the exact same style he’s used for about nine months now. I remember being stunned that they actually had Kane lose his mask but it’s not like he had anything else going on at the moment. Of course this could have been something they actually took time to set up but why do that when you can rush it in a week? For MSG? Eh, fair enough, though there could have been a bigger moment for such a big deal.

Post match Eric Bischoff comes out to say Kane has to unmask right now. He reaches for the chin strap but HHH hits him from behind with the belt. Van Dam comes in to save Kane (WHERE WAS HE FIVE MINUTES AGO???) and it’s a chokeslam to Orton, followed by the Five Star. Kane loads up the ring post pyro but stops and eventually unmasks. Most of his hair comes off with it, revealing a heavily make-uped face that I guess was supposed to be his horrible burns. Kane chokeslams a stunned Van Dam to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Other than the rather good match designed to make Lance Storm seem boring and the genuinely great Foley ceremony, there wasn’t much on this show of value. Above all though, they came up with an angle where Kane gets unmasked and blew it off in the span of a week. I get the idea of popping a rating but what about popping a pay per view buy rate instead? Would Kane vs. HHH, mask vs. title, inside the Cell have been a worse idea than HHH vs. Nash? Anyway, this had a few good parts but they’re bogged down by some rather bad thinking.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6