This is a harder one than usual (and by usual I mean of the three I’ve done) to do because of the huge body of work. Again the selection is due to what happened on this date to him (January 4, 1999) as the man is Mick Foley. For the sake of clarity, this certainly isn’t meant as a definitive list nor his best matches. It’s more a timeline of his career with a match from each section of his career.

Since there’s a lot to cover here, we’ll skip the squash and go to Foley’s first major(ish) show: AWA SuperClash III.

Chavo Guerrero/Mando Guerrero/Hector Guerrero vs. Rock N Roll RPMs/Cactus Jack

 

Chavo is of course the senior version and Mando is the least known Guerrero. Hector is a dead ringer for Eddie and arguably better. The RPMs are the southern tag champions and are named Tommy Lane and Mike Davis. That Jack guy won’t ever amount to anything. He was a total rookie at this point and almost the Abyss of his day: the guy that would take any bump asked of him so here he is as a result.

 

The Guerreros all have big sombreros and are about as stereotypical as you can get. Capetta (announcer) says this is AWA vs. CWA and that’s just incorrect. Actually the Guerreros were in the AWA also so I guess it’s correct. Granted both companies would be dead in a year so does it really matter? Hector starts and makes the RPMs look like idiots. Off to Jack and Mando (barely taller than the top rope) with the Guerreros being so much faster it’s unreal.

 

They hit the floor and Jack actually gets beaten up even worse out there. Back to Hector and they work on the knee before Chavo, the oldest, comes in. Wait make that Mando. Oh and it’s Cactus Jack Foley at this point. The Guerreros tag in and out about every 8 seconds. Jack wants out of there badly and brings in one of the RPMs who I don’t think the announcers know the difference between.

 

The RPMs finally double team Chavo and that goes even worse for them and it’s off to Hector. The Guerreros get in a big pile on and clear the ring. Jack vs. Chavo now and Jack finally gets something together. Off to Davis as it’s pretty clear the announcers don’t know the RPMs’ names. Off to Davis again and never mind as it’s Jack now. Hot tag to Hector and everything breaks down again. There’s some heel miscommunication and the camera misses the big dives but you can hear the crowd gasping. A moonsault press from Chavo ends Lane.

 

Rating: C+. Total squash here and a way to get the crowd fired up with the Guerreros doing stuff no one had ever seen before. The speed stuff was good as they looked like an awesome team out there. The dives were good and they made the fans get into the show, which is exactly the point of an opener.

On to WCW. I’ll skip the Sting feud because it’s been done to death, even though the falls count anywhere match is great. Instead we’ll jump to the end of 1993 at Halloween Havoc with Cactus Jack’s showdown against Vader in a Texas Death Match.

Vader vs. Cactus Jack

I’m not going through the whole angle again but in short they started fighting in April, Vader injured Jack, Jack is here for revenge. Vader is world champion but this is about revenge and not the title. Jack is just mad over here. He was second to probably only Flair and Sting (arguably only Sting) in popularity at this point.

They go straight to the floor and the fight is on. I remember last year in the WZ Tournament IC said that there was one person that could take Vader in a hardcore match and that was Cactus Jack. This is the proof. Vader misses a punch and hits the post so Jack goes right after it. Chair is brought in but Vader just punches Jack in the head. Cactus is like BRING IT ON and bites Vader.

HARD chair shot to the head of Vader and the champion is in trouble. They actually go into the ring but Vader gets a boot up and drills Cactus with a clothesline. Vader just mauls him in the corner and Cactus is reeling. Out to the ramp goes Jack but he avoids a suplex back into the ring. Somehow he manages to suplex Vader in a rather rare display of strength. Jack is busted open but hits another suplex on the ramp, this time a belly to back variety.

No attempts at covers yet as this has been a major brawl. Race tries to interfere with a chair and gets dropped with ease. Another chair shot to Vader and they go into the graveyard set. They go into a grave with a headstone marked RIP Vader. For some reason there are steps into it which Cactus comes out of. His eye looks AWFUL. Vader comes out of his own grave and is busted open too. There’s a Thriller joke in there somewhere.

A shot with something gets a pin on Vader. Now Vader has 30 seconds to rest and THEN he has to get up. That’s just stupid. Only WCW could take a brutal war and make it this idiotic. Cactus grabs a cactus and drills Vader with it as Vader was up at two. Why is there a cactus in a graveyard in Louisiana? Cactus drops the elbow off the ramp and gets a fall with that. After the resting (some DEATHmatch) Vader is up before two.

Vader wakes up and drills Cactus who fights right back. A table (an actual one and not the WWE style) is set up in the corner. Vader is thrown into it and bounces off which just gets two. Cactus drills him with the table (again doesn’t break. See what I mean?) to knock him to the floor. Cactus tries a sunset flip to the floor which misses so Vader tries to sit on him which fails.

Jack drapes him over the railing and just beats on him. Total war the entire time so far. Into the crowd now and Vader more or less backdrops Cactus into the ringside area again. Chair to the back of Cactus as Harley has a freaking tazer. Vader slams Jack down and hits a pretty decent Vadersault for the pin and a count of like 3. This is why the rest period is stupid: the guy is up to a knee when the count starts.

They go to the ramp again and in perhaps the sickest bump I have ever seen, Cactus tries a sleeper out there but Vader drops backwards onto him. The THUD is absolutely sick and Cactus just stops dead. He ruptured his kidney on that and more or less couldn’t move but he kept going because it would have made him look weak. My jaw actually dropped on that shot.

Vader, nice guy that he is, drills him with a chair as Race wants a DDT on the chair. There it is and Cactus is more or less deceased. No cover as Patrick brings over the trainer for Jack. Wait was there a pin in there that I missed? Vader beats up the medics and there’s the pin. Ok I’m not crazy. During the rest period Cactus DDTs Vader on the chair but as he’s trying to get up Race uses the tazer on the leg (might be nice to turn it on to play it up) of Foley and it’s over.

Rating: A. The ending is the only thing keeping this from an A+. This is an absolute WAR. Other than the rest periods (stupid WCW) there isn’t a single break of action in the whole sixteen minutes of this. Great match and of course since Cactus was over with the fans and having better and better matches, he was thrown into a tag team and more or less forgotten about until he was fired when Hogan arrived next year. Typical WCW.

As much as I’d love to, I can’t skip ECW. We’ll take a look at November to Remember 1995 with Cactus Jack teaming up with Raven to face Terry Funk and Tommy Dreamer.

Terry Funk/Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven/Cactus Jack

 

Main event time. Funk is “planning on retiring”. That’s just amusing. Funk says he’ll remember what happened with Cactus last night forever. Apparently it was a big attack on Terry but Dreamer made the save. This is a revenge match for Funk and Dreamer always hates Raven Cactus is in a WCW Dungeon of Doom t-shirt. He was in a WEIRD (yet awesome) heel push where he longed to be back in WCW with “Uncle Eric”.

 

The pairings pair off and Raven and Jack rule the ring for the moment. Now we get to the brawl and Funk fights Raven. Stevie Richards brings in some weapons and gets put in a shopping cart for his troubles. Dreamer BLASTS Raven in the head with a freaking VCR. WHY WOULD YOU BRING ONE OF THOSE TO A WRESTLING SHOW??? In a funny bit, Dreamer hits him with the remote also.

 

Funk beats up the referee because he’s Terry Funk. Dreamer DDTs the referee for good measure. Funk hits Raven with a golf club in the putter. Cheese grater is broken up and Cactus drills Dreamer with a chair. Dreamer gets taken down by a double chain shot to the throat. Raven is busted open and poses anyway. Cactus channels his inner Abdullah as he jabs at Funk with a fork.

 

DDT to Dreamer as Raven and Cactus are dominating. They try the chain again but Dreamer does something smart and dives on it, bringing them together. Not that it matters as Cactus takes him down with ease. Cactus takes the Dungeon of Doom shirt to reveal another one with a huge picture of Eric Bischoff and the words “Forgive Me Uncle Eric” (coining that nickname) on the back. Only Mick Foley could make that work, period.

 

It’s more or less a big mess but were you really expecting something else here? Jack hits a double arm DDT on Funk onto the chair but there’s no referee. Raven dives over the top to take out Dreamer and Jack looks for more weapons. Here are Fonzie and Taz to be referees but Funk kicks out at two. Taz beats up Funk so Dreamer takes Taz out. Jumping DDT takes Raven down and for some reason a regular one does more damage. The referee is back up and Dreamer piledrives Raven onto a chair, letting Funk steal the pin.

 

Rating: B-. Pretty fun match overall as they kept things just weapons based instead of going everywhere. Also Jack having the continuing mental breakdowns in the middle of the match (the Uncle Eric thing) is great. Dreamer not beating Funk is one of those little things that makes a match better. Fun stuff here and one of the better brawls ECW did.

Next up was the WWF and Foley’s most famous feud of all time: the Undertaker. Since everyone has seen the Boiler Room Brawl and Cell matches over and over, here’s a lesser known one. For Undertaker’s WWF Title at In Your House 14: Revenge of the Taker.

WWF World Title: Mankind vs. Undertaker

 

I think we’ve covered the backstory for this one enough already. For perhaps the only time in his career, Undertaker charges from the floor into the ring and the fight is on. Undertaker has a bandage on his head from where Mankind burned him recently. They slug it out to start and a running right hand to the head puts Undertaker down. The Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor but Undertaker of course lands on his feet. A HARD whip sends Mankind into the barricade and a standing chokeslam does it again.

 

The third whip sends Mankind into the crowd and the Undertaker is in full control. Mankind is whipped into the barricade yet again as we head back to ringside. Back into the ring with Undertaker still pounding away and driving him down with shoulder blocks. Undertaker lets go of the hand on Old School so it’s a diving clothesline instead of a forearm to the back. Paul Bearer gets on the apron to prevent the tombstone and a quick shot with the urn gets two for Mankind.

 

The champion gets pounded down in the corner and a running knee to the head puts him down again. We hit the nerve hold on Undertaker before Mankind turns it into a reverse chinlock. The much stronger Undertaker is able to turn around though and fire off right hands to the ribs to escape. A very hard shot sends Mankind out to the floor and Undertaker sends him face first into the steps. Mankind comes back with a pitcher of water and shatters it over the champion’s face to put him back down. A chair to Undertaker’s head still doesn’t draw a DQ and JR demands to know why. Good question actually.

 

Mankind drops an elbow from the middle rope to the floor in one of his signature spots. The bandage is ripped off of Undertaker’s head and the injury is just ugly looking. Undertaker finally gets back inside where a pulling piledriver gets two for the challenger. The same move gets no cover but Mankind does screech a lot. Undertaker staggers around for a bit before hitting a jumping clothesline out of nowhere. The referee is knocked down and Mankind gets the Mandible Claw to knock Undertaker out cold.

 

Another referee comes in and gets the Claw as well for reasons of Mankind is insane. Bearer throws in a chair but Mankind wants the steps. In perhaps the only time in his career, Undertaker dropkicks the steps into Mankind’s face, and now it’s time to fight. A BIG chair shot to the head knocks Mankind silly and Undertaker throws him into the ropes to tie Mankind up by the neck.

 

The champion rips Mankind’s mask off and smashes the steps into Mankind, knocking him off the apron and head first through the table in a scary looking crash. Back inside and a chokeslam only gets two, shocking the crowd. Taker isn’t playing anymore though and it’s a tombstone to retain the title.

 

Rating: B-. This got really good once they stopped the pretense of a wrestling match and started fighting. A ticked off Undertaker is just fun to watch and this was no exception, especially when you had a human pinball like Mankind to bounce all over the place like he did. The match wasn’t particularly good, but it was fun which is what this show desperately needed.

 

Post match Undertaker goes after Bearer but has to fight off Mankind. Undertaker kicks something out of Mankind’s hands and kicks Mankind to the floor. Mankind dropped a lighter and flash paper, so Undertaker lights it up in Bearer’s face to burn him like Mankind burned Undertaker.

Since it’s January 4, I have to include this.

WWF Title: Mankind vs. The Rock

 

This is No DQ remember. This is the match that Tony Schiavone gave the ending away to on their show, shifting the ratings for the night because of it. DX comes out to back up Foley, because they couldn’t go to the hospital with Shawn or help defend him right? Rock of course has the Corporation with him.

 

Rock jumps him immediately and knocks him to the floor. He won’t let the Corporation beat them up because he wants to do it himself. How noble of our heel champion. Foley does his first sick bump of the match as he goes knee first into the steps and flies over them in a painful looking shot. These two always had mad chemistry together, which is something that could be said about most guys with Rock actually.

 

Rock does commentary during the match, which always cracked me up. He talks a bit too much though so Foley takes over. Foley does a promo of his own and we cut to a shot of Vince and Shane, but we hear a bell ring. Foley is down and Rock has the bell. Subtle. Rock Bottom through a table and Foley is in trouble. This has all taken less than three minutes so I’m not leaving much out at all.

 

To play up the spontaneous nature here Rock is in street clothes, as in the kind you would work out in. Corporate Elbow (debuted 5 minutes from my house) hits for two as this is ALL Rock. Foley with a spinning neckbreaker out of nowhere to get both guys down. Bossman throws the belt in and a shot to the head (sounded SICK) gets two as well. Double arm DDT onto the belt and Rock is in big trouble.

 

There’s Mr. Socko as the crowd has lost it. Mandible Claw goes on but Shamrock pops Foley with a chair. Billy Gunn takes him down and the brawl begins. Everything goes crazy and CUE GLASS SHATTER! Austin comes out and everyone loses it. He caves Rock’s head in with a chair and pulls Mick on top for the pin and the world title as the roof is blown off the arena.

 

Rating: A+. This was about a shocking moment and excitement and a feel good story and they NAILED it. This is very personal bias heavy, but they’re my reviews so who cares?

 

DX puts Foley on their shoulders as the Corporation carries Rock out. Cole gets in the famous line of “Mick Foley has achieved his dream and the dream of everyone else who has been told you can’t do it!” This is one of the best feel good moment in WWF history as Foley was considered one of the best to never be world champion as he worked as hard as anyone else but was never given a serious shot at it.

 

He got the shot tonight and he won the title. Road Dogg does the big announcement of Mankind being the new champion to a HUGE ovation. Foley dedicates the win to his kids and takes a lap around the ring with the belt to end the show. This is my favorite moment in wrestling history, bar none.

Foley would lose the title pretty quickly but his body was breaking down. He would be retired in February of 2000 inside the Cell but would make a few comebacks, such as this one from Backlash 2004 against Randy Orton.

Intercontinental Title: Cactus Jack vs. Randy Orton

Hardcore of course. Foley comes out as Mick Foley and has the Mankind music, but screw that. He’s in Cactus Jack attire and this is a hardcore match. He has the barbed wire ball bat called Barbie with him. Orton holds up a trashcan to defend himself but Foley knocks it out of his hands with the bat. They go to the floor and there goes a cameraman. Orton drop toeholds him into the steps and gets the bat but they fight over it.

Orton gets kicked away but he finds a trashcan from somewhere and cleans Mick’s clock with it. Mick shrugs that off and BLASTS Orton with it. Back in the ring and Foley hits the running knee lift followed by a legdrop for two. Back to the floor again and Jack hits a swinging neckbreaker but Orton moves before the middle rope elbow can be used. Randy, who is still in his t-shirt, tries to walk away but Foley chases after him. A belly to back suplex by the champion gets two on the ramp, as does a backslide.

Randy slams Jack’s head into the ramp with a THUD for two. Back in the ring (I’ve been saying variations of that a lot tonight) and Orton tries to drive Barbie into Jack’s face, but Cactus counters with a low blow. Here’s Socko but Foley isn’t sure whether to use that or Barbie. He takes the sock off and Barbie connects with Orton’s head. Blood is literally flowing down Orton’s face. Another shot hits Orton’s head and Foley is in complete control.

Mick pounds Orton down in the corner and hits the running knee to the face. Back to Barbie as Mick has that look in his eyes. Now he just drives the bat into Orton’s face and there goes the t-shirt. Foley puts the bat between Orton’s legs and drops a leg on it which is just painful in a lot of ways. Mick goes to the floor and pulls out…..oh geez he pulls out a gas can and a lighter.

He covers Barbie in gas but here’s Bischoff to say do that and the show ends here. Foley throws it down and for the life of me I have never gotten what the point of that sequence was unless it was somehow legit. Either way, Foley throws it down and finds a whole board covered in barbed wire. He knocks Orton near it but Orton comes back with a slam onto the board, drawing a LOUD holy chant from the fans.

The board gets placed in the corner and after some nice reversals on the Irish whip, Foley goes into it face first. With Jack down in the ropes, Orton shoves the board down onto him in a simple but good move. Orton finds a bag full of thumbtacks. The RKO onto them is countered and the look on Orton’s face when his back hits the tacks is PERFECT. A rollup gets two for Foley as Orton goes to look for medical attention. Jack will have none of that and they go up the ramp.

They head backstage but come back before we can get a camera back there. Foley throws him off the stage and through a bunch of tables. Since it’s Cactus Jack, you know he’s gonna drop the elbow onto Orton on top of that. After the referees seem ready to stop it, Foley drills them both and there’s the elbow. Mick is a bit too dead to cover though so after the delay, Orton SOMEHOW kicks out.

Back to the ring and Orton looks completely out of it. Double Arm DDT gets two and Foley isn’t sure what else he can do to pull this off. Orton goes to the floor while Foley puts the barbed wire board up in the corner. While he’s doing that though Orton gets Barbie from somewhere and lays in a few shots on Cactus. Foley finds Socko and grabs the Claw to stop a big shot to the head with Barbie. A low blow gets Orton out of the hold and the RKO puts Foley down but it only gets two. Another RKO onto Barbie FINALLY gets the pin.

Rating: A. It’s not quite as good as the match with Edge but DANG this was great. Orton is now a made man as he somehow not only survived this but he won it. Up to this point he was a pretty boy, much like HHH vs. Jack in 2000 at the Rumble. That seems to be what they were going for here and for the most part I’d certainly say it worked. Foley would go away for awhile while Orton feuded with Edge and then won the title in the fall. Great match here and Orton looked great during the whole thing.

With nothing left to do in WWE, Foley tried his hand in TNA and met up with Sting of all people at Lockdown 2009.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Mick Foley

This is just a standard match for the first time all night I believe. These are my two favorite wrestlers ever so this is an awesome sight to see. Also their 92 feud was awesome so I’m really looking forward to this. Foley being introduced with the bat is awesome for some reason. They stand off to start which makes sense as Foley had been talking about how this was his greatest rival. Granted they hadn’t associated with each other in seventeen years but whatever.

Foley punches himself in the head and cuts himself open, which he claimed was a new wound rather than the one he had done on Impact. Foley takes over to start and goes to leave almost immediately but the fight begins on top of the ropes. Basically Foley dominates to start as West actually analyzes things a bit here. They fight on the ropes again with Sting hitting a belly to back off the top for two.

Foley gets stuck in a Tree of Woe and Sting pounds away. Sting goes for the leg which is apparently hurt now due to the Tree of Woe. That’s a new one I think. Spinning neckbreaker by Foley gets two. He goes for the cage but just kind of stops because of the leg. The door is off limits again I think which might be a rule all night.

Mick gets the Scorpion of all things on Sting which lasts about as long as Foley’s third title reign by comparison. Foley calls for the door to be open and shoves Hebner out of the way. Since he can’t climb he has no issue with going through the door apparently. For no apparent reason he hits a baseball slide to the cameraman in the hole he uses.

Foley tries to climb through said hole but gets caught by Sting and locked in the Deathlock. He crawls to the hole in the cage and has the cameraman slip him the bat. This is getting better. Sting tries to go up but gets caught by a shot to the leg with the bat and another one to send him to the mat. And then he’s fine seconds later, beating up Foley with the bat instead.

The barbed wire on the bat breaks up and goes into Sting’s eyes. He wraps Socko in it and gives Sting a running knee in the corner. What was funny/bad here was that he also slammed his head into the cage and busted his head open legitimately. Both guys are busted now and the fans are way behind Foley which is weird to see for a Sting opponent.

Both go up the cage but on different sides. Foley DIVES to the floor and amazingly enough wins the title totally clean. He said in the book that there were like 4 seconds left in the show here which never made sense based on what I remembered and I was right as there was like forty seconds left.

Rating: B-. I’m probably being very biased here but I liked this. They had a slow build here and the ending, while surprising, makes sense. Foley is a hardcore wrestler and he beat Sting in a hardcore match. Also the idea was for Foley to come out and prove to Sting that he still had it so what better way than to take his title? This was good although it was slow at times which hurts it.

Obvious I had to skip a bunch of stuff for the sake of space but you could list probably 50 very good Foley matches. The guy just knew how to entertain an audience and could make anyone look good. The best accolade I can think of for Foley is this: he was the first real title feuds for Austin, HHH and The Rock. He was the guy put with them to ensure their reigns got off to a good start. That’s an awful lot of faith to put in someone and the company put it in Mick Foley.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Final Resolution 2009
Date: December 20, 2009
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,200
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

This is the final PPV before we got to the Hogan Era and the difference is remarkable. AJ is world champion here and the main event is him vs. Christopher Daniels for the title. On the undercard is Angle vs. Desmond Wolfe in a 2/3 falls match which should be awesome. Notice how the emphasis is on the older guys mixing with the younger guys in order to make the younger ones look good. That’s called giving someone a rub which you don’t see enough of anymore. Let’s get to it.

Also expect the TNA shows to have a lot of 2009 coming as I found every show from that year which is a big plus since it’s hard finding TNA PPVs that are complete.

We open up here with a Christmas theme set in front of the wrestlers which then turns to fire and clips of the aforementioned main feuds. This looks like the opening video to a TV show rather than a PPV.

Tag Titles: British Invasion vs. Motor City Machine Guns

 

The idea here is that the Brits are just there and the Guns are tired of being overlooked which is a very true statement. At least we get the Motorcity song. The Invasion is part of World Elite and is comprised of Magnus and Doug Williams. The ropes are red and green here which is either cool or stupid. Not sure which.

Sabin vs. Williams to start us off here. Williams takes him down with a wristlock and they roll around on the mat a bit. Off to Shelley and it’s a bit more of the same. Magnus comes in and the fourth guy works on a wristlock. Shelley tries to jump at Magnus and it just fails. Right back to the arm because we’ve gone a full 8 seconds without doing that. The Guns both come in and kick away to take both members of the Brits now.

Stereo double dives from the middle rope on the inside to the Brits on the floor in an awesome spot. Back in now with Magnus taking Shelley down and it’s off to Williams. Technically this has been very sound so far. Williams gets an inverted Gory Special to drive Shelley into the top turnbuckle in a cool spot. Shelley manages to get a top rope cross body for two.

Back off to Magnus now for some double teaming. Shelley and Williams (these Brits tag too much) have a nice technical piece and Magnus takes down Sabin to prevent the tag. Full nelson by Magnus gets him nowhere. A Vader Bomb by Magnus eats knees and it’s off to Sabin vs. Williams now for a nice change of pace. Tornado DDT by Sabin gets two.

Back off to Shelley and Magnus and Shelly hits a top rope kick to the chest (think RVD) for two. The tagging thing is more or less being more forgotten by the second here. Sabin dives through Shelley’s legs to take Williams into the guard rail. Sliced Bread #2 to Magnus gets a close two. Double stomp by Shelley misses and he runs into an exploder suplex by Williams.

Everyone in now as the Guns are taken down one by one. That would be all as far as numbers go as there are only two Guns. Shelley and Magnus slug it out in the ring as we’re back to a standard tag format now. Back off to Sabin again and the Guns hit a double team downward spiral/missile dropkick for two. Rolling Chaos doesn’t work as Sabin saves Alex by hitting a Cutter on Williams. The unnamed Skull and Bones gets two on Magnus. Double team Sliced Bread doesn’t work and Sabin gets caught in a sweet powerbomb/European Uppercut off the top combination to end this.

Rating: B. Good stuff here as it was fast paced and the fans were into it. For the life of me though I don’t get why they waited for so long to put the belts on the Guns as they got them due to Hall being released for being Scott Hall. This was a good match and I was getting into it by the end, which says a lot given that I knew who was winning.

We talk about Hogan and we all know how well that’s gone for the company. Jeff Hardy appeared there too. Oh dear.

We run down the remaining card in case someone decided to randomly buy a PPV 20 minutes in. Oh it’s just the main event. Ok then.

Knockout Title: Tara vs. ODB

 

These two feuded forever around this time and I think they’re both faces. I get to hear the Broken song so I’m a bit happier. She still has that stupid spider though which is rather stupid and I never got the point of it. Dang Tara is hot. Actually ODB might be a heel here. She’s acting a bit cowardly. I never got the appeal to her in the slightest. And never mind as she jumps Tara when the referee is taking the belt away.

Tara grabs a quick Tarantula and adds a leg drop for two. They do some sloppy stuff and ODB gets a knee to the ribs. BAD shoulder breaker by ODB gets two. Bronco Buster doesn’t work as instead it’s a kick to Tara’s shapely chest. Almost all ODB to this point other than a quick attack at the beginning. Fall away slam and a nip up by ODB. After a LONG delay she gets two.

Tara grabs the sloppiest jackknife cover of all time for two. There’s no Impact on Thursday due to it being Christmas Eve. There’s a New Year’s Eve show with a Knockouts Tournament apparently. Hey TNA is having a tournament. I’m SHOCKED. ODB tries….something and falls on her face. Tara slugs away and gets a flapjack for no cover. Standing moonsault gets two. No shake first which makes me sad. ODB puts her in a fireman’s carry but Tara reverses into something like a sunset flip/rollup for the pin. Wow this was bad.

Rating: D-. The ONLY thing keeping this from failing is Tara looking great. I mean this was terrible. They were sloppy here and ODB constantly rubbing herself doesn’t help anything. Weak match and I couldn’t wait to get this done. Terrible match and a great example of why the Knockouts Division was dying around this time.

Tara is happy to have won.

We get a video on Hogan coming to Impact on 1/4. That 1.5 rating they got is the highest they’ve gotten as of this writing, in March of 2011.

Feast or Fired

 

Jay Lethal, Consequences Creed, Cody Deaner, Robert Roode, James Storm, Eric Young, Homicide, Kiyoshi, Sheik Abdul Bashir, Rob Terry, Kevin Nash, Samoa Joe

Everyone from Young to Nash is in World Elite, making up half of the lineup here. Simple concept: four cases, one has a world title shot, one has an X Title shot, one has a tag title shot, one has a pink slip. You pull down a case, that’s what you get. Like I said, simple concept. This is of course almost impossible to call as everyone is doing random stuff and it’s a big fight so far.

Lethal goes up early, only to be stopped by Kiyoshi. The idea here is that World Elite doesn’t want Beer Money or Lethal Consequences to get a case so that the Brits don’t have to fight them. Smart actually. Joe hammers on Young as we hear about how experienced Homicide is in these. Deaner almost gets up but can’t quite get there. Apparently all of World Elite is banned from going up. Stupid but whatever.

Deaner goes up again but gets pulled down. This is a total mess with two people in the ring and the other nine being outside. Bashir goes up for the third time but Deaner stops him. They have been the only two in the ring forever now. Sheik rakes the eyes but he falls off and it’s Lethal Consequences beating on various people.

Lethal plays defense while Creed goes up but he gets knocked off by Bashir. Deaner challenges him for it and it falls off. They fight for it on the floor and Bashir kicks him in the knee and clocks him with it to get case #2. In the ring Rob Terry gets #4. Young gets all ticked off at him as does the rest of the World Elite team. Beer Money is like screw this and jumps them.

Beer Money double teams Nash and then Young. I can understand them not going up there as Nash was on his feet so that makes sense. BEER MONEY runs into Kiyoshi who doesn’t last long. All Beer Money here as they beat the tar out of everyone. Roode goes up but it’s Nash with the save. He goes up and easily gets case #1. The people that get cases leave by the way.

Joe gets in the ring for the first time as the fans are clearly behind him. He beats on Lethal Consequences because he can but he doesn’t have as much luck with Beer Money. Finishers all around now with Homicide hitting a top rope cutter to take down Roode. Deaner is up now but Joe is like boy what the heck do you think you’re doing and kicks him to the floor and grabs #3 to end this.

Rating: D. No idea what to really think about these matches but this wasn’t very interesting. It’s like a battle royal but it was messed up beyond belief. Deaner being in there way too much always hurts things. Nothing any good here but then again these matches never were worth anything. Boring but it sets up future storylines so I guess it has that going for it.

Angle and AJ are in the back and Angle says that Wolfe is one of the best he’s ever faced. He implies he’s coming after AJ once he beats Wolfe. AJ says cool but first he has to get by Daniels. Christy was there also and good grief she was gorgeous.

Time to unveil the cases. Remember it’s World Title, Tag Titles, X Title and being fired. First up is Nash and he gets a tag title shot. He and Hall would use that in like May to give the Band the tag titles after not mentioning he had the case for four and a half months.

Joe goes second and gets a World Title shot which he would cash in at Against All Odds and lose.

We do the last two at the same time. It’s Rob Terry and Sheik Abdul Bashir if you’ve lost track. Terry gets the X Division Title shot which he gave to Douglas Williams who won the title. Bashir is fired and then actually left the company. He gets the future endeavored line and the Goodbye Song as parting gifts.

Taz insists this isn’t part of the show. Yeah the last 17 minutes for that stuff wasn’t part of the show at all.

Matt Morgan/Hernandez/D’Angelo Dinero/Suicide vs. Rhyno/Team 3D/Jesse Neal

 

This is an elimination match so think Survivor Series. Actually for the first five minutes it’s 1 on 4 and that would be Hernandez vs. the other four. Why is that the case? Who freaking cares? Apparently not TNA as they barely mention it. Leave it to TNA to be able to screw this up. If Hernandez loses in this five minutes it’s over but it’s just an elimination for the other guys. Leave it to TNA to manage to screw up an elimination tag with overly complicated rules.

Neal is a total jobber at this point and just a student of Team 3D. Hernandez is coming off a super push where he was almost world champion but was then pushed down into a tag team with Morgan just because. Ray beats on Hernandez a bit and it’s off to Rhyno. Why are these teams feuding? Not necessary information. Gore hits for two so we know Rhyno won’t last long. Another Gore misses and a rollup makes it 1-3 which is soon to be 4-3.

Neal is sent out to get a chair but the heels just stand around while the rest of the time runs out and here are the other three. Morgan is also in the middle of a big push which would just die when Hogan got there. Hernandez dives out on everyone at once and we get down to regular stuff. Suicide (Kazarian) hammers on Neal to start. They have this whole thing backwards at this point as the faces are dominating, which is the total wrong idea in matches like these.

Not being very intelligent, Neal picks up the chair and pops Suicide with it. Hernandez, not being very intelligent either, picks up the same chair and pops Neal with it. So it’s a DQ if you hit someone no longer in the match? 3D takes out Suicide so it’s 2-2 now….wait why is Neal still out there? He cracked Suicide with the chair and the referee clearly saw it. Dang man he reacted to it. Why does this surprise me? What the heck ever man.

It’s Dinero vs. Ray at the moment and now Neal leaves as it’s a DQ for him. How do you make a simple DQ complicated? Pope gets a top rope clothesline for two. 3D takes Pope out and it’s 2-1 finally. Team 3D hammers him together for awhile which the referee doesn’t seem to have much of an issue with. Morgan hits a double clothesline and splashes them both in the corner.

D-Von takes the corner elbows but can still save Ray from a chokeslam. Oh and the Dudleys are the IWGP Tag Champions here. Not that it means anything to the vast majority of wrestling fans but TNA insisted it mattered so there we are. There hasn’t been any time during the 2-1 part where a Dudley has been on the apron.

Big boot takes out D-Von, even though the hand didn’t hit the mat the third time and they wait 15 seconds to announce his elimination. So it’s Ray vs. Morgan now which would be a win for Ray at the moment somehow. Ray counters the Hellevator into a DDT and it’s chair time. Carbon Footprint into the chair ends it.

Rating: D. What the heck were they thinking here? Was there any need for the five minute thing or for this to take up sixteen minutes or air time? I mean dude, what the heck? It wasn’t even anything special with the two DQs and the total lack of drama as the biggest star on the other team was who, Ray? This was boring and another example ot TNA managing to take something simple and overcomplicate it.

We recap Abyss vs. Dr. Stevie which incorporated Foley on Abyss’ side and Raven on Richards’ side. Richards lit Abyss’ leg on fire which I don’t remember at all.

Oh wait that’s not next. This is next.

We recap Lashley vs. Steiner. I’m not kidding here. They just flat out said they aired the wrong video and this is the next match. Steiner thinks Lashley’s wife loves her or something.

Scott Steiner vs. Bobby Lashley

 

Last man standing here as Steiner had hit him with a pipe last month in their match to end Lashley’s unbeaten streak. Kristal, the wife, is thrown out before the match. Steiner goes after her and Bobby chases. Bobby catches Steiner and does nothing. Steiner drills him and we start on the floor. Back in the ring now and it’s a T-Bone by Bobby to take over.

Dragon sleeper goes on as Steiner is in trouble. Since Lashley lets Steiner go, that isn’t enough to end it. Scott’s leg may be messed up here. Out to the floor and Lashley hits him with a chair. Steiner hits him with a pipe and down goes Lashley. Naturally a lead pipe to the head by a huge muscle man like Steiner isn’t enough to keep him down though as he’s up at 7.

Lashley goes into the post and then the steps. Back in the ring and Steiner gets a downward spiral from the top rope (Lashley’s feet were on it and Steiner was on the mat) for 9. Belly to belly suplex off the top (with Bobby landing on his head and Taz making a Cole Vintage joke) gets about 8. Steiner jumps into a suplex of his own Powerslam for Bobby gets two and a Frankensteiner gets the same. The pipe is retrieved but Kristal comes down to steal it. A spear and a pipe shot from Steiner end this.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much at all as Steiner was pretty uninteresting at this point to say the least. Lashley would be gone in a month as he became a full time MMA guy and didn’t exactly do that well at it. Boring match here that was more or less just there. At least this ended the feud though. The Lashleys would turn heel on January 4^th to no one really caring.

We talk about the upcoming tag match for a bit before it happens.

Raven/Dr. Stevie vs. Mick Foley/Abyss

 

Is there a reason why we’re supposed to believe that he’s a doctor? This is now No DQ which makes things a bit better I guess. Yep Foley makes it anything goes. Total mess to start where you can barely keep track of what’s going on. Abyss beats on Stevie near the announce booth and pulls out a table. The fan on Tenay’s desk amuses me for some reason.

Abyss wanted to powerbomb Stevie off the stage through a table but Raven makes the save with a kendo stick. It’s broken over Abyss’ back and jabbed into various parts of his body. Foley is nowhere to be seen. Back at ringside Raven rams into Abyss and bites him. This isn’t much to look at. Abyss’ leather pants have burn holes in them. Raven pulls out some gasoline but Foley pops up with a shopping cart full of weapons.

A barbed wire bat is rammed into both heels stomachs and a Piledriver gets two on Raven. He and Stevie are stacked on top of each other and Abyss sits on them. Here comes Socko but Raven throws powder into Foley’s eyes. Abyss saves his partner and puts Stevie in the Shock Treatment while at the same time dropping a leg on Raven in a cool spot. Abyss has his own sock. I give up.

Stereo Mandible Claws but Raven gets a low blow and the DDT for two on Abyss. Foley makes more or less a lasso of barbed wire and wraps it around Richards. He sets Richards on a table and dives off the stage onto the table with an elbow. Daffney comes out and hits Abyss with a chair but Raven saves. Black Hole Slam ends Raven and it’s over.

Rating: C-. If you’ve seen one of these hardcore matches you’ve seen them all. There’s nothing special about them at all for the most part as they’re all the same thing after awhile. The big ending spot if Foley diving off and it’s treated like any other elbow drop in a match instead of a huge spot like it was. Not bad though.

Joe says he’d win and he did. He isn’t sure when he’s cashing in but it could be tonight. This is to fill in time to clear the ring.

We recap Wolfe vs. Angle which is the end of the feud. Wolfe is brand new and keeps beating on Angle but can’t quite beat him by pin or submission (he won by a referee stoppage in a street fight). This is 2/3 falls with the first being pin only, second being submission only and third is in a cage which is escape only.

Taz and Tenay talk for too long. Oh it’s for the cage. I see. So all three falls are in the cage? That’s kind of cool actually.

Desmond Wolfe vs. Kurt Angle

 

Angle is still in a Mafia shirt even though that’s long since dead. They have a ton of time here so they start slowly with ground work. Angle grabs the leg and down to the mat we go. Off to a cobra clutch by Wolfe. Lots of technical stuff here which is pretty solid of course given who is in there. Hammerlock by Angle and we look at some guy and his kid in the crowd for no apparent reason at all.

Multiple covers get nothing for Wolfe. A knee drop misses for Wolfe so Angle goes after the leg. Headlock takedown and it’s Wolfe in control. They’re in first gear here or maybe a mild second one but it’s still entertaining. The dueling chants have already started. Angle fights up and gets a buckle bomb for our first big high impact move. We’ve been at this almost 8 minutes now so you can tell this is going slowly.

Wolfe in control again with Wolfe working on the arm a bit more. Modified cobra clutch goes on for a bit but Kurt fights back. Overhead belly to belly but Kurt can’t get the Angle Slam. A single arm DDT hits but Wolfe misses a big clothesline misses. Rolling Germans go on in a set of about five or six.

Angle goes up and gets caught in the Tower of London for two. It’s a Diamond Cutter off the top if you’re wondering. The lariat misses again and it’s another attempt at the Tower of London but Kurt escapes and the Angle Slam gets two. Angle tries the moonsault and, say it with me, it misses by a mile. Clothesline hits this time and the Tower of London gets the first fall for Wolfe. Really should have been after the clothesline.

Wolfe goes straight for the arm and Kurt is in big trouble already. The crank that Wolfe has it on there is INSANE. Kurt rolls out of it though and it’s time for a figure four out of nowhere. The rope is grabbed and we’re back to the arm again. Wolfe puts on a ton of arm holds and they’re all at least somewhat different. Kurt reverses one of them into the ankle lock and Wolfe is in trouble.

Wolfe reverses into the LeBell Lock minus the crossface. That gets rolled through and it’s back to the ankle lock. This is a technical masterpiece so far. Angle reverses ANOTHER arm hold into the ankle lock which Wolfe reverses into an ankle lock of his own. Angle grabs something like a triangle choke which gets reversed into an arm lock again. Triangle choke goes on but Kurt runs through it into an ankle lock again and it’s the grapevine added that ends fall 2.

Ok so it’s now escape to win it. Oh that guy they showed earlier is Jason Williams of the Orlando Magic. WWE is in town tonight so they’re making fun of it somehow. Angle puts Wolfe down and goes up so they fight on the ropes a bit. Wolfe rams the arm into the cage which is rather smart and basic. Wolfe goes up so Kurt does the same thing to Wolfe’s leg. I like that as it’s nice storytelling.

Wolfe knocks him off the ropes so Kurt pops up and throws him off in the running suplex. Desmond is busted BAD. Kurt goes up but Wolfe gets a boot up which might have hit Angle’s bad arm. It was Wolfe’s bad leg though so everyone is down. Desmond calls for the door to be open but Kurt makes the save again. Wolfe taps forever but Kurt won’t let go. Desmond passes out and Kurt climbs out. Wolfe almost made it but couldn’t quite do it.

Rating: A. Great match here with some incredible back and forth stuff in the submission round. I don’t tend to like matches like these but this was very fun to see. Wolfe being left laying like that at the end was great but I would have had him stay there until Kurt had won. Either way, great match and the whole thing worked incredibly well. Brutal match with a clear winner, which is the point of matches like these.

Mick Foley talks about Hogan for no apparent reason.

We recap Daniels vs. AJ. There was a masked man running around jumping AJ and he thought it was Daniels. There was a three way match at Turning Point where AJ pinned Joe, stealing Daniels’ pin. The idea here is that Daniels is equal to AJ but Daniels has never gotten anything out of AJ’s friendship. In short, it’s Anderson vs. Flair.

TNA World Title: Christopher Daniels vs. AJ Styles

 

Anyone that has read my reviews knows I don’t like Daniels at all for the most part. This is AJ before they turned him into the Flair tribute character, therefore making him awesome. The challenger is called Daniels here but I need more names to swap in and out so there you go. They stare each other down for awhile and then lock up with no one really having control to start.

Daniels grabs the arm when AJ is talking to the referee and takes over. AJ tries a nip up to escape but Daniels drops down onto him in a nice counter. Daniels stays on the arm for a good while but tries a dropkick which AJ holds the ropes for. We speed things up now and AJ pops off an awesome dropkick to take over.

We head to the floor with AJ doing his flips and dives to take down Daniels. Back in and a hilo sets up a discus clothesline for no cover as it’s all AJ at the moment. Off to the chinlock and the fans chant for Angle. Or is it Angel? Daniels goes with those palm strikes and a monkey flip to send AJ flying. Clothesline sends AJ to the floor but his foot gets caught on the rope and he lands on his head.

On the floor and Daniels puts AJ in a chair. He picks up another chair and tries to swing it. The referee stops him but when he’s not looking Daniels hits a release Rock Bottom onto the chair AJ was sitting in. Taz asks a good question: “Does the referee think the chair just exploded?” Back in the ring a side slam gets two as Daniels keeps up the assault on the back of AJ.

A headscissors out of nowhere puts Daniels down but it’s only for a second. Daniels sits AJ up on the ropes facing the crowd. He picks AJ up for something like a belly to back suplex but rotates him a bit to drop AJ back first on the turnbuckle in a sick bump for two. Moonsault “hits” and Daniels locks on a crossface minus the arm trap. Doesn’t go on long but it looked good. I don’t get why AJ couldn’t just put his arms down to break the pressure but what do I know?

Lionsault minus the running start misses and AJ hits a suplex to put both guys down for a bit. AJ goes to the apron so Daniels tries a rana to the floor. AJ just drops him down in a powerbomb which sounded awesome. He hammers on Daniels and we go back into the ring. AJ hits an FU into a backbreaker and the backflip into the reverse DDT for two.

Daniels is able to get something like a backdrop onto the top rope to crotch AJ. From there Daniels steps onto the middle rope and suplexes AJ back in with a unique move. With AJ sitting on the top rope Daniels hits a HUGE palm strike to the head. A Frankensteiner and a Shining Wizard gets two. The fans say someone got served in this youth language that I’m not familiar with. Stupid young whippersnappers. BIG knot on Daniels’ head here.

They fight over a suplex but AJ settles for a big old brainbuster instead. There’s the springboard forearm that I always love for a long two. Styles Clash is blocked so it’s a Pele instead. Another attempt is blocked by a palm strike. Another release Rock Bottom by Daniels sets up the Best Moonsault Ever for a long two.

Daniels hammers away as I think that knot on his head could take over a small country at this point. AJ sends him chest first into the corner and rolls through into the Styles Clash for two. Daniels gets up and puts AJ on the second turnbuckle on the inside (I had to channel Gorilla once or twice) but goes for a rana and is caught in the Clash from the middle rope to end it.

Rating: B+. Good match but it’s definitely a step or two behind the previous one. Daniels was never a real threat here as eventually he has to win something to be classified as a real threat. This was when AJ had a lot of meaningless matches as champion, but they were good enough that you could overlook that. Either way, this was good but not as good as the match before it, which hurts it a bit.

Overall Rating: B-. This show suffers from what came after it. In 15 days, Hogan showed up and all of this was tossed out the window. They were clearly just holding down the fort at this point and while some of it was good, parts of it are utterly forgettable or just weak. After the opener, everything until Angle vs. Wolfe is AWFUL. It’s definitely not the worst TNA show and it’s actually good, but as far as importance goes, this means nothing at all due to Hogan and Bischoff hitting the reset button. Good show, but the definition of not important.

 

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Smackdown
Date: November 29, 2011
Location: Time Warner Cable Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

This is a special edition of the show as it’s airing live on Tuesday. Also it’s the holiday episode, which I think is a catch all for Thanksgiving and Christmas, which is next month but whatever. Foley is the host for the evening and we have a world title match in a cage with Henry vs. Bryan. Let’s get to it.

The show opens with fake snow and Josh saying there was a snow storm that started a few seconds ago.

Here’s Foley. There’s a Christmas set. Aren’t they pulling this out a little early? I mean we have Christmas music, Foley in a Santa suit, Christmas lights at the table and all that jazz. He points out that it’s still November but he’s a Christmas fanatic. What Good Old JR is to barbecue sauce and what the Ultimate Warrior is to arm tassels, he is to Christmas. For us tonight, we have a world title match between Tiny Tim and the Ghost of Christmas Fear inside a steel cage. There’s also a miracle on 34th street fight, an over the top rope battle royal where the winner gets their Christmas wish granted…and Michael Cole.

Foley can’t get around the contract and Cole’s legal team, but he can pick how Cole has to dress. Cue Cole in a Rudolph costume. Josh is in an elf outfit so he can’t complain much. Foley also brings out Booker, who is also in a Santa outfit. Foley asks for a Spinarooni to make up for This is your Life from a few weeks ago. It’s set to the Dradle Song because they both spin. The hat comes off but the fans cheer for it so all is well.

Cue Cody all in white. Well mostly in white. He says that he’s seeing clearly now and says that he’s not going to let someone take up the time when that person can’t perform in the ring anymore. Booker says he can still go and calls Cody son. Foley cuts Cody off and makes Booker vs. Cody for later. No word on if this is for the title or not. First up, let’s have a Divas match.

Alicia Fox vs. Brie Bella vs. Nikki Bella vs. Natalya vs. Kaitlyn vs. AJ vs. Tamina vs. Aksana

This is a mistletoe on a pole match, which means you have to climb up and get the mistletoe. The winner gets something they can cash in before Christmas. Brie wins at 57 seconds after climbing on Nikki. I have no idea if I got all the competitors or not, not do I care.

Foley says Brie gets to kiss any superstar she wants before Christmas. Ok then.

Justin Gabriel vs. Jinder Mahal

Mahal runs down Christmas before the show starts. We hear about how Mahal has hates DiBiase for giving away all his money. Cue DiBiase in a Santa hat with a bag. He throws out WWE gifts to fans. The distraction lets Gabriel hit an STO and the 450 for the pin at 2:15.

Foley is learning the Siva Tao from the Usos when Piper comes up. He wants a new straightjacket for Christmas. Horny and some good looking woman are having egg nog. Dusty Rhodes is here. He offers Horny a picture of Lagy Gaga and something about sandwich. Dusty says there are some strange people here and turns around into Goldust. There’s something awesome about that. Oh the chick is Maxine.

Piper is talking to someone when Otunga comes up with the coffee cup and has an announcement from Johnny Ace. The holiday music has to be in the public domain. Eh we might as well shut the party down now. Foley and Piper are like dude…..you are in WAY over your head. Foley puts Otunga in the street fight tonight against Randy Orton.

We recap Booker vs. Cody. Booker is in the back when Cody jumps him with the belt, injuring his arm.

Kofi Kingston vs. Tyson Kidd

This should be good. Booker vs. Cody is officially off. Tyson has hair now. They start off pretty fast and both guys go down off a double clothesline. Kidd hits the floor to avoid Trouble in Paradise but Kofi hits a dropkick out there anyway. Kofi gets in Cole’s face for some reason and steals the reindeer hat. Kidd gets in a shot and somehow this isn’t a double countout yet. Kofi puts the hat and nose on, finishing with the top rope cross body at 3:33.

Rating: C. Total comedy match and that’s fine. The idea of the reindeer flying to end it was good but we need to get Bourne back already so Kofi can defend the title instead of just holding it. I think he’s due back tomorrow or something so it shouldn’t be that big of a deal. Decent match but with more time it would have been even better.

Kaitlyn tells Horny he should wish to be taller. Teddy and Sheamus are talking and Sheamus asks what the winner of the battle royal (20 man) gets. Teddy doesn’t know but whatever it is, it’ll be worth it. Cue Aksana who has mistletoe with her. And Aksana eats it instead of kissing Teddy.

Randy Orton vs. David Otunga

This is a street fight. There are a bunch of Christmas trees at ringside as well as presents that slide around the floor. Otunga is in red shorts now instead of his normal trunks. Randy throws him into a bunch of trees and then the announce table. There’s a tray of cookies there so Orton has a bite, gives a face as if to say not bad, then smacks Otunga with the tray.

He grabs a wreath off the post, shouts HO HO HO in Otunga’s face (legit made me laugh) and sends him into the steps. Otunga goes under the ring and finds a kendo stick made to look like a candy cane. Orton takes him down though and beats Otunga with it as Otunga runs. Orton picks up a present and chucks it at David’s head to knock him down.

They go up the stage and Otunga goes into the big tree. There’s an elevated DDT to the floor but Barrett runs out for the beatdown. It would have helped a lot had Orton not looked over his shoulder just before the DDT. The big boot he takes Orton down with gets two and Otunga’s time is measured in seconds. There’s the finishing sequence and the RKO ends this at 7:38.

Rating: C+. This was meant to be a totally fun match and that’s all it was ever supposed to be. Barrett running in even advances the storyline a bit and it helped things somewhat. I had a very good time with this but I’m a total Christmas geek so I’m about as biased as you can be here. Fun match and it worked all around.

Henry is getting taped up and Teddy comes in. Mark yells at him and says he’ll take his anger out on Bryan.

Battle Royal

There are twenty people in this and I’ll let you figure out who all is in it yourselves. I see Mahal, Slater, the Usos, Jackson, Sheamus, O’Neil, Watson, DiBiase, Hunico, Reks, Gabriel, Kidd and Horny. Sheamus is by far the biggest name in this. Hawkins and Young are in there. Young is out quickly as is I think Jey Uso. JTG is in this and as soon as I say this he’s eliminated. DiBiase and Gabriel try to get Hawkins out but can’t quite do it. Kofi and Yoshi Tatsu are in this and I think that’s everyone.

There goes Hawkins at the hands of Big Zeke. We get the showdown with Jackson and Sheamus with with pale One beating him down. Jackson sets for a big clotheline but Sheamus ducks to put him out. Johnny Curtis was the 20th guy in there and Sheamus puts him out easily. Kofi puts out the other Uso but Kidd dropkicks Kingston out seconds later.

Tatsu is gone and Kidd skins the cat and pulls out DiBiase at the same time. Horny slips out from the floor and pulls Kidd out. We take a break with about 8 people left. Back with eight people left: O’Neil, Hunico, Gabriel, Mahal, Reks, Sheamus, Slater and Horny. Gabriel tries to jump on the apron but Mahal knocks him to the floor. Clash of the Titus puts Reks down but he barks too much and Sheamus puts him out. Dang it I wanted him to wish for NXT to end.

Slater and Mahal jump Sheamus but he explodes and beats everyone down. Everyone goes to the floor through the ropes and beats Sheamus down. No one is in the ring at the moment. Ok so now everyone but Sheamus is in. It’s Mahal, Hunico, Slater and Reks. Mahal says we need to go find Horny. They all pick a side of the ring and dive under the ring. Mahal catches him and it’s 4-1. Slater shoves him down as does Hunico.

They all carefully stomp him but before the toss him Sheamus is back in. There goes Reks and Hucio is out as well. Mahal is out and a Brogue Kick puts Slater down. Ok so it’s Horny vs. Sheamus. Oh good grief. Horny says bring it on and Sheamus isn’t sure what to say. He tells Horny to get out but Horny tells him to get out. He kicks Sheamus in the shins but Sheamus grabs him by the beard and starts putting him out but Horny grabs the top rope. Sheamus gets on the apron and detatches him but Horny won’t get off the apron. Sheamus tries to talk to him and they hug, but Horny shoves him off for the win at 13:25.

Rating: C+. This was fun until the end, when it just got stupid. Why in the world would have put Horny over here for the sake of a comedy bit? Well at least this is for an obscure prize instead of something like a title shot so it could be a lot worse. Ok maybe not a lot worse but it could be worse.

Sheamus teases anger but smiles and Horny celebrates.

Ricardo hits on the Bellas at the party as Piper talks to Dusty. They’re talking about Cena and Dusty thinks it’s ridiculous to think the fans are going to get to Cena. Santa comes up and sits down for Horny to ask for his wish. There’s something about celery, Jonas Salk, Peter Falk and chalk. Foley has it wrong and it’s that Horny wants to TALK. They hug and Horny can speak. He goes around using his new powers and calls Vickie a grandma. Foley pops up in a Cactus Jack shirt and Santa is gone. Piper and Dream have no idea what’s going on and I don’t really want the answer.

AJ comes up to wish Bryan luck. Bryan tells Striker he’s ready.

The cage is lowered.

The Slammys are in two weeks.

Smackdown World Title: Mark Henry vs. Daniel Bryan

We even get big match intros. The winner gets Big Show at TLC. Bryan runs for the corner almost immediately. You can win by pin, submission or escape. Bryan keeps trying to run and avoid corners. He wisely goes for the bad leg so Henry throws him into the cage. He splashes Bryan against the wall and we take a break. Back with Henry still dominating. We get a clip from during the break with Henry pulling Bryan back and in essence sling shotting him into the cage.

Time for a nerve hold to waste some time. Bryan fires off a dropkick but Henry kills him with a clothesline. The leg is wearing out though as he kind of falls into the cover for two. Bryan wakes up and goes crazy on the ankle, getting Henry down on the mat and screaming in pain. Bryan climbs but Henry makes the catch, crotching Bryan on the ropes. Henry goes for the door but Bryan grabs the ankle again. Bryan fires off a dropkick to the knee and hooks the LeBell Lock but Henry powers out of it.

Off to an ankle lock and the place is really getting into this. Henry kicks Bryan off but he can’t get up to follow up on it. The challenger goes up but gets his tights partially pulled down. Now Henry goes up but Bryan follows him. He gets over the top but Henry grabs the arm and pulls him back in. There’s some good drama in this. Henry tries a powerbomb out of the corner but Bryan climbs over the top. Henry pulls him back in again and headbutts him into the World’s Strongest Slam from the top. And that takes care of Bryan at 11:15.

Rating: B. Good main event here and the drama towards the end was solid. I don’t think anyone had any realistic reason to believe that Bryan was going to win and they shouldn’t have. He’s a midcard guy getting his first chance in there with the big boys and he’s not ready for the title yet. Still though, very solid main event and Henry gets a win that he’s been lacking recently.

Overall Rating: A-. WWE is on a ROLL right now with their TV shows. Last night was great and tonight was as well. The idea that seems to work for them is to not linger on stuff too long and most importantly, not go back to things over and over again. This show was fine with all of its holiday themes and I liked it a lot. It could have been better, but if they were hoping to show that Smackdown can work live, they nailed it here. Good stuff again.

Results
Brie Bella won a Mistletoe On A Pole Match
Justin Gabriel b. Jinder Mahal – 450 Splash
Kofi Kingston b. Tyson Kidd – Top Rope Cross Body
Randy Orton b. David Otunga – RKO
Hornswoggle won a battle royal last eliminating Sheamus
Mark Henry b. Daniel Bryan – World’s Strongest Slam from the middle rope

 

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Victory Road 2009
Date: July 19, 2009
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

The Main Event Mafia is still around but it’s not what it used to be. Angle vs. Foley is the main event for the title with Angle defending, which makes me think little about the upcoming match. This card looks pretty weak, although we have AJ vs. Nash for the Legends Title and Joe vs. Sting. It just lacks a spark for me, but better days were coming soon for TNA. And then they just left but we’ll get to that later. Let’s get to it.

The video is about starting the road to victory and it’s as generic as the rest of them have been. Seriously, TNA needs to work on its opening videos BADLY.

Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Tara

Tara is champion here and showed up recently, more or less hating the Beautiful People just because I guess. She also took the title on Impact about a month ago so this is the rematch. They’re scared of the spider which I can’t blame them for since I have a spider bite on my arm that refuses to heal. It just works for her.

 

Of course the announcers can’t think because there are women in front of them. I love that Broken theme. We stall for awhile as they run from the spider. What was the point of that anyway? Is it supposed to be sexy? I don’t want a freaking tarantula anywhere near me. Tara starts in the t-shirt early on and then rips it off which was always hot to me.

 

Then again I’ve always had a crush on Tara so there we go. Tara busts out the Tarantula move which at least makes sense here. West is mostly heel here also. Love starts dominating after some hot girls interference. We get a Bobo Brazil reference that even Tenay doesn’t get. We go old school with a double clothesline spot. I love that move.

 

Skye accidentally sprays hairspray into Love’s eyes but it only gets two because the referee throws the other two girls out. Tara misses a moonsault and Love covers her, but Tara’s foot is on the rope. Doesn’t matter apparently as Love gets the title anyway. Post match Tara superkicks the referee and beats up Love.

Rating: C-. Not bad, but nothing great. The thing here is that the Knockouts at this time were AWESOME with their stuff destroying the Divas. Somehow in a year that’s completely switched but whatever. Anyway, this wasn’t anything great but it’s certainly not bad. It did the job it was supposed to do though so I have to give it that.

We run down the card, including BOTH tag title matches. Dang I hated that period.

We go to the Main Event Mafia’s dressing room where Kurt says not to expect a quality match from him tonight. Well at least he’s being honest. Instead he’s going to destroy Foley as soon as possible. Angle says if the Mafia doesn’t get a clean sweep by pins or submissions he’ll fire them all.

We get a video about Morgan vs. Daniels which wasn’t a feud but more a way to give Morgan another PPV win against a big name. Daniels wasn’t much at all here but he was AJ’s friend and since Morgan wanted to be in the Mafia he helped them beat up AJ. There’s your match.

Matt Morgan vs. Christopher Daniels

What is up with Morgan’s robe? He just doesn’t need it as it looks stupid. Oh sorry there’s no Christopher anymore as apparently he’s lost his first name. Check under AJ’s bed. Morgan dominates to start as I think we’re looking at a glorified squash here. Daniels has a mustache here and it looks pretty stupid. Daniels hits a suicide dive but it doesn’t even knock Morgan down.

 

What is the big deal with Daniels? He just isn’t anywhere near as great as he’s made out to be. He just isn’t. A springboard split legged moonsault FINALLY puts him down for like 4 seconds. That more or less ends Daniels’ offense for the time being. I like that rotating elbow thing that Morgan does to people in the corner.

 

Those would have to freaking hurt. Morgan works on the knee which is allegedly hurt but it’s kind of on again/off again which is annoying as all goodness. Daniels does some small stuff but of course it doesn’t mean much. Daniels counters a chokeslam but he can’t hit the BME because of the leg. The Carbon Footprint and the Hellevator end it.

Rating: D+. It was just a glorified squash like I thought it would be. Morgan was never in anything close to trouble and we never had any reason to believe that he would be, which isn’t good at all. Daniels looked like a jobber here, as he continues to be thought of as nothing important at all in this company.

Dr. Stevie says he’s been working on this forever so he’s going to make this no disqualification. Sure why not. Were we just supposed to believe we didn’t recognize this guy or something? Was that supposed to be what they were going for because if that’s it, TNA is stupider than I thought they were.

We recap Stevie vs. Abyss, which is based on Richards being his therapist and trying to cure him of his addiction to weapons and violence, which was just a bizarre angle that didn’t work for me in the slightest. And then Abyss hated him for no explained reason. Also Stevie was his therapist for ten years apparently, so back in the day when he was chilling with Raven in WCW, he was a psychiatrist? SERIOUSLY? Oh and he kidnapped Abyss’ girlfriend or whatever, Lauren, who was gorgeous to say the least.

Abyss vs. Stevie Richards

I’m in awe of how stupid this angle and character is but whatever. Abyss has just started wearing his current entrance attire that makes him look like a homeless man. Stevie has some kind of pipe or something and beats on Abyss with it. They continue to confuse me by calling him Stevie Richards and acknowledge his background in wrestling.

 

I’m not even going to rant about how stupid that is but whatever. Again we’re told how great Abyss can be. And again we ignore that he’s a former world champion. Are they ashamed of that or something? They say AJ is a former world champion here even though he had only won NWA Titles at this point.

 

I really hate that freaking clapping Abyss does. It’s stupid when Christian does it but it’s just freaking idiotic when Abyss does it. We head into the crowd so we can kill off some time to go along with the brain cells. Seriously, what is the appeal of the monster being all child-like? Is that supposed to be interesting or funny or something?

 

I’d assume it’s based off of being ironic or something but in order for irony to work it needs to be interesting which this just flat out isn’t. Since it’s TNA, of course Stevie starts bleeding. That’s a real problem with TNA today: they think blood makes a match better. Blood can help a match, but only when it’s done both in moderation as well as properly.

 

TNA has a real issue with it as they do it so often that it loses all effectiveness. The fans are insane and rather annoying here, wanting Stevie to get hurt more and more. Somewhere a man named Lee is crying. And now it’s chair time because we need to kill off more time in this match.

 

Just like the previous match, this is a glorified squash. He pulls Stevie up after two from Shock Treatment. Daffney brings Stevie a stun gun that he’s used lately. Instead he runs into a Black Hole Slam. He uses the tazer on him and smoke comes out of it. There’s the pin and I need a stiff drink.

Rating: D. This was even worse than the previous match as this one was even more of a squash. It was about 95% Abyss dominance which isn’t interesting at all. Then again neither of these guys are interesting characters so that likely has a lot to do with it.

The announcers tell us how this is THE most important event in TNA history. I love hyperbole.

Foley gives Beer Money a pep talk. I think they’re going for the Dudleys’ record for most turns in wrestling history. Oh and AJ is here too.

We hear about Team 3D vs. the British Invasion. But I thought Beer Money….OH! This is for the OTHER tag title. How could I be so clumsy? Basically the Dudleys were the TNA tag champions but the Invasion cost them the belts. So they just went and got their own belts. Sure why not?

IWGP Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. British Invasion

The Invasion is Magnus and Williams with Terry on the outside. These are the Japanese belts where the title defenses here aren’t sanctioned by New Japan but TNA just does it anyway because since the belts are Japanese they’re cool.

 

Apparently this is a career changing match because it would cost Team 3D their New Japan bookings. Yeah that’s how Tenay described it. Oh dear. What’s the deal with the wrist holding thing? Is that supposed to mean something? Then he talks about them again and this time throws in how important the pay days are. Great way to get your faces over there Mikey.

 

Doug Williams is completely different here. Today he actually has a personality which makes him far more interesting. D-Von dominates for the most part early on as I can feel the EPICNESS of this being for Japanese tag titles. I just have no desire to watch this match at all.

 

So what if they win the IWGP titles? There are OTHER tag titles to win. That’s what’s idiotic on this. In WWE it made sense where there were two different shows to have tag titles on. This is just stupid, but hey, they’re prestigious right? So is the WWE Title but it’s not defended on TNA television.

 

The Brits take over on Bubba and it’s very standard stuff. He gets out of it with a spear which is a move he doesn’t need to be doing. Then again there aren’t many people that should be. What is the appeal of Magnus? He’s not that good and he’s never on TV but whatever.

 

Bubba hits a Rock Bottom as the Dudleys take over. And now it’s table time. The fans get a solid TABLE chant going. It only lasts a few seconds and Magnus manages to not be able to be thrown over the top correctly. 3D ends Williams. The rest of what would become World Elite comes out and beats down the Dudleys. Never mind that as Team 3D fights them off and puts Bashir through the table.

Rating: D+. So? Like I said earlier, so what? This means very little in the grand scheme of things as there would be other tag titles for them to win. The match was bland as vanilla and since the titles would change in a few weeks on Impact anyway, this wound up meaning nothing at all. I’m bored beyond belief at this point.

We’re going to address the ending in the Knockouts match earlier where Tara’s foot was on the rope. Lauren is with the referee and asks what is going on. He says the decision is final even though it was wrong. He’s going to try to get Tara a rematch though.

Jenna Morasca vs. Sharmell

Neither of them are wrestlers, but they’re fighting on PPV anyway. These are both women in the Mafia and they’re fighting over who is the top girl in it. Sharmell is in an evening gown and is Booker’s wife. Sojurnor Bolt is with Sharmell and Kong is with Jenna. Jenna won Survivor so she’s guaranteed a spot on TNA’s roster.

 

Thankfully this would be her last appearance due to pure ineptness. She looked ok but that’s about it. No one knew who she was but why should that stop anyone? She tries to do a sexy entrance but it’s not working. Jenna thinks she’s hot and that’s about all she has going for her. This was voted Worst Match of the Year by Meltzer and that doesn’t surprise me at all.

 

Oh this isn’t going to be fun. When Sharmell is the best worker in it, that’s a BAD sign. Why they didn’t make this a tag with the two girls on the floor is beyond me. Neither of them can do anything and they just kind of run into each other rather than do actual wrestling moves.

 

My problem with these celebrity matches is that it undermines the people that work hard to get to a PPV level, but then again I’m putting too much thought into this. Even the fans are chanting boring. They have managed to tick off a TNA crowd. That’s IMPRESSIVE.

 

The girls on the floor get into it and Jenna is just laying there, not even selling. Well she’s rich so she can get away with that I guess. Oh look, a slap. And more slaps. And I want to shoot whoever agreed to let this happen.

 

Jenna pulls out some of Sharmell’s extensions and it’s still going. Kong hits Sharmell and Jenna grinds on her before pinning her. WOW Meltzer was right on this one. Kong beats Jenna up afterwards due to her making her sit through that mess.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t wrestling.

Nash says good things about Kurt and runs down Foley and the guys Foley is with. Nash says if he loses tonight he’ll retire.

Nash wants the Legends Title for the money and AJ wants it because he won it. Yeah that’s it.

Legends Title: AJ Styles vs. Kevin Nash

The Legends Title is now the Global Title and AJ holds it here. This is back when AJ is the awesome version of himself that was on the rise back through the ranks and would win the world title in a few months. He was more or less considered the best in the world at this point and with good reason.

 

I was one of those people, but Punk was about to turn full Straightedge Messiah and the race was on. AJ hits and Nash runs which is a weird combination. AJ goes for the knees as you would expect. By the way, if a match like this happened in WCW (with AJ being replaced by Benoit or Malenko), the company could have had a fighting chance at the end.

 

Nash goes into his normal stuff but here it works for some reason. Nash was in a groove around this time with the whole in it for the money character trait. It worked very well for him though as that completely fit his character and it came off perfectly.

 

Nash kicks the tar out of AJ and knocks him to the floor where AJ hits his head. The Jackknife is blocked though and even I’m starting to cheer for AJ. He hits the forearm while Nash is sitting on the mat in a cool spot. AJ hooks a weird looking leg lock on Nash which is working quite well. It looks like a highly modified Sharpshooter but it’s working.

 

There’s the forearm which is one of my favorite moves of all time so I love it of course. Pele puts Nash down and West is refusing to believe AJ can lose…even though he’s the heel commentator…..he was new at it I guess. In a very anti-climactic ending, AJ goes for another forearm but Nash shoves the referee at him so AJ has to jump over him. That’s enough for Nash to catch him in a chokeslam for the pin. It came out of nowhere but it’s not horrible.

Rating: B. This really worked for me. AJ was able to make the David vs. Goliath thing work very well but I really do question putting a title on Nash. He wouldn’t hold it long at least but that’s another story. This was a fun match though as the dynamic was there which is usually the hardest part to get.

Lauren is looking for Tara but finds the referee from that match with Madison in the shower. Ok then.

So since Foley wanted a world title shot, he had to give Nash his title shot and Booker and Steiner their title shots. That’s all there is to this.

TNA Tag Titles: Scott Steiner/Booker T vs. Beer Money

Now remember that these are the OTHER tag titles. That stupid cruiser thing is back. I do kind of like how the tag belts look. We have to hear how awesome Steiner and Booker are as a super team because they both used to be in big tag teams years ago. So in translation, Axe and Marty Jannetty would be a great team? That sounds like an indy show nightmare.

 

We start off not very slowly here as we come to the realization that Beer Money doesn’t have a chance here. Even though they’re the champions they’re underdogs somehow because being tag champions is beneath being half of the tag champions like 15 years ago. And all companies to this. It’s a problem of modern tag wrestling: the constant throwing together of big names and calling them tag teams is what’s killed tag wrestling.

 

Implying that in their first match a team is the best team in the world is just ridiculous. Also it’s not about a team but two guys being together for one match or so. It’s why guys like Bubba and D-Von suck on their own but are great together: they compliment each other so well and without each other they’re far weaker and not a threat at all…even though Bubba was in the main event of an ECW PPV in a world title shot.

 

Oh look Steiner can throw punches and use belly to belly suplexes. What riveting offense! Storm gets beaten down as he must be used to since he’s been in tag teams for about 90% of his TNA career, of which can also be said of Roode although not as much. Roode gets the hot tag to no heat and hits a Blockbuster which is another of my favorite moves.

 

They hit a combination clothesline/backstabber for two on Steiner. Storm spits beer at Steiner and down goes the referee of course. And then Booker hits the axe kick so Steiner can pin Roode. Somehow they haven’t had the tag belts since.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t great or anything but it was ok I suppose. I hate how they more or less made Beer Money look subservient to a thrown together tag team but such is the way of modern tag wrestling like I got into earlier. This wasn’t anything terribly special but it did its job I suppose. Booker would leave soon enough so the Brits got the tag belts.

Booker and Steiner cut unintelligible promos about being Mafia or whatever.

Joe talks about beating Sting, complete with face tattoo. Also his mentor might be debuting tonight.

We see a recap of Joe joining the Mafia at Slammiversary after being bought off using Jenna Morasca’s money. Sting got thrown out and Joe took his place, setting up this match. This is also about Joe’s mentor and giving us the letters FTW and the number 13 on an orange background aren’t hints at all.

Samoa Joe vs. Sting

So let the countdown to Taz begin. TNA needs to work on their surprises a bit better. Sting’s coat is purple and his attire is red and black. Ok then. We’re going at it early and Joe is FAT here. There’s maybe a foot between the steps and the railing which is weird to see. And we hit the crowd for some brawling.

 

We then stay out there with Sting in control. Joe goes into the steps and his arm hurts now. I’m sure that means no choke out. Joe looks ridiculous and we finally get into the ring for a change. Joe hits a diving elbow through the ropes which gets two. Dang Joe’s tattoo is running again. I love that.

 

Sting is in trouble. Actually he likely isn’t because it’s all a DECEPTION BABY! Sting hits a pinful looking enziguri to take over for a bit. The crowd is somehow dead here. There’s the Scorpion and there’s Taz. Sting, like an idiot, lets go of the hold and Joe goes off for about 8 seconds before Sting beats him right back down. That was idiotic. Joe crotches him on the top rope, then doesn’t hit the Musclebuster but the Clutch to end it.

Rating: D+. This was all about Taz’s debut and then that sucked too. Taz would cut a face promo on Impact and throw this all away but whatever. Taz showed up and then Joe got beaten up again. Was that the plan, because if it was then it sucked. This just wasn’t much at all given who was in there.

Lashley is with TNA.

Foley says he’s not worried about the Mafia and even though he doesn’t match up with Angle that well, but if he can hit his running elbow it’ll work.

We recap Joe turning on TNA at Slammiversary (after destroying them for weeks after they hurt him a few months earlier to have it make even less sense) to cost Foley the world title. Angle cut a deal that said Foley gets his rematch for the Mafia getting two title matches earlier in this show.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Mick Foley

Tenay says Foley has finally learned how to put the company ahead of personal accomplishments. And there goes any theory that TNA has a clue about anything for me. Yeah, Mick Foley’s ego is out of control! This was when Angle was in a movie and has a beard which just looks freaking stupid.

 

I actually had issues recognizing him at times. Angle MIGHT weigh 190lbs here. We start with a slow and ground based thing which is very weird to see. This goes on for awhile before Foley takes over and works on the neck. And now he gets thrown into the steps.

 

The Mafia has all the titles at this point so this is TNA’s last chance. The moonsault of course misses as there isn’t much to say here at all. No one buys Foley having a chance so it’s just killing time before we get to the finish here. The referee goes down as it’s sock time. Angle Slam kind of hits for two of course.

 

He drops an elbow on the referee for no adequately explored reason other than for the Mafia to run in I’m guessing. It’s chair time but the sock makes the save. Only in wrestling does that make perfect sense. Elbow hits on the floor and Angle is in trouble.

 

West: “he got his shoulder up in time. It wasn’t even close. Ok I lied it was as close as you could get.” Was there a point to that? The Claw gets two arm drops but here comes Angle. Ankle lock doesn’t work as surprisingly we haven’t had any run ins here. He gets the leg scissor and Foley has to tap. Well that was anti-climactic if there’s ever been an anti-climactic match.

Rating: D+. Like I said, just NO drama here at all. Everyone knew Foley was losing here and Angle never really seemed to be in any real danger. This wasn’t terrible but it felt like a very weak main event. AJ would get the title in two months, but this was all about the Mafia and it wasn’t good as it was just too much. The match was nothing special at all though.

Overall Rating: D. This was a rather weak PPV. There is one good match here and it’s hardly a classic. Other than that it’s just kind of there. This was ALL about the Mafia and it was total overkill at the end. You need to have one guy as a resistance to make the people want to watch. It just didn’t work for me and I wasn’t a fan of last summer. Take a pass here as it’s just a weak PPV overall, although there have been far worse.

 

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Survivor Series 2012
Date: November 18, 2012
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

I don’t remember much about this show and I think that says a lot about it. The main event is a triple threat with Punk defending against Cena and Ryback because WWE loves their three way matches. The original main event was going to be Team Punk vs. Team Foley in a Survivor Series match but WWE realized no one would pay to see that, so the new main events were made. Team Punk was replaced by Team Ziggler, despite the two of them having no real animosity at all. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: 3MB vs. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella

It’s Slater and Mahal here. Ryder starts with Mahal as Matt Striker rips Ryder on commentary. Mahal takes him down with a shoulder block but gets caught in an armdrag. Off to Santino who works on a headlock before it’s off to Slater for another armdrag. Ryder comes back in as the announcers talk about Halloween a good three weeks since it’s been over. McIntyre holds Slater’s belt from the floor to avoids Santino’s dropkick. Tag off to the fun one of the Band (meaning Mahal if that’s not clear) who gets two off a knee drop.

Back to Slater for some shots in the corner but he gives up the hot tag to Santino for all his usual antics. Heath punches him down and brings Jinder in again for some knee drops off the ropes. Santino misses a double clothesline which gives Slater another near fall. The Band stays on Marella but he backdrops Mahal down, allowing for the lukewarm tag off to Ryder. The Broski Boot connects and everything breaks down. A Rough Ryder connects on Slater but the legal Mahal sneaks in with a full nelson slam for the pin on Zack.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much to see. It isn’t a bad match or anything but how good can a match be when 3MB is getting a clean pin? That’s not exactly a match that’s going to light the world on fire. Also, you’re trying to get a crowd going for a show, you have Santino Marella, and he doesn’t get the hot tag? Really?

The opening video talks about the history that has taken place at this show, ranging from Undertaker and Rock debuting, Montreal, and Rock and Cena teaming up for the first time ever. We then shift over to the main event hype videos you would expect, focusing on the world title matches and….nothing else. Seriously Foley vs. Ziggler isn’t mentioned here at all. There is a nice idea of Punk surviving as champion at various amounts of days into his reign.

Team Clay vs. Team Tensai

Brodus Clay, Justin Gabriel, Tyson Kidd, Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio

Tensai, Primo, Epico, Prime Time Players

This is a bonus match to fill out the card. Nothing wrong with that at all. Apparently this is the debut of the three man booth so we’re getting a bit of history here. Why anyone would care about that is beyond me but I need something to talk about during these long entrances. This was also back when Tensai was all evil but was a total joke by this point, just as he had been all along. If nothing else we get to see Rosa Mendes with black hair and those hips of hers.

Kidd works on Epico’s arm to start before taking him down into a headlock. Epico is sent to the floor but manages to send Kidd face first into the apron to take over but it’s quickly off to Gabriel. A sunset flip gets two for Justin and he cranks on Epico’s arm as well. Back to Kidd for a headscissors before putting on another armbar. That doesn’t last long as Mysterio comes in with a low dropkick for two.

Young gets the tag and is almost immediately sent face first into the middle buckle, allowing for a tag off to Sin Cara. The masked men hit a combination wheelbarrow slam/X-Factor for two on Young, sending him over to the corner for a tag off to Primo. Cara hits a quick cross body for two and a sunset flip gets the same as this is a very fast paced match. Tensai gets the tag and runs over Cara with a few slams as JBL lists off Tensai’s Japanese accomplishments.

Off to Titus as Sin Cara is in a lot of trouble. Another slam puts Sin down and it’s off to Primo for a camel clutch. Tensai comes back in to work over the downed Cara but goes after the rest of the team instead of covering. Sin Cara gets up for an enziguri, allowing the hot tag to Clay. Brodus cleans house and the Players, Epico and Primo are sent to the floor. Kidd and Gabriel hit stereo dives to take out the cousins followed by Asai moonsaults from Cara and Mysterio to take out the Players. Awesome sequence.

The monsters are going at it back inside and Clay botches his high collar suplex, making it into more of a lifting downward spiral. Tensai avoids a charge in the corner and shoulders Brodus down, setting up a backsplash for the elimination. Gabriel comes in with some kicks to the side but gets taken down by a big shoulder block. Off to Titus for an abdominal stretch followed by a backbreaker. Back to Tensai for two off a backsplash but he misses a second one, allowing Gabriel to get a quick rollup for the elimination.

Titus comes in to stomp on the spent Gabriel before it’s back to Epico for a chinlock. Epico misses some elbow drops, allowing Gabriel to make the tag off to Tyson. Kidd heads to the apron but gets sent to the floor where Primo gets in a cheap shot. Back inside with Primo now legal but getting forearmed in the face. Cole says Primo has been a general out there. I’d go more like a lieutenant at best from what I’ve seen.

Back to Titus who crotches himself off a missed big boot, allowing Tyson to kick him in the side of the head, setting up a rolling cradle for the pin and an elimination. Young comes in to keep the pressure on Kidd before it’s back to Epico for some rolling belly to back suplexes. Not that they matter though as Kidd sweeps the legs and puts on the Sharpshooter to get rid of Epico. Cole of course talks about Montreal.

Primo comes in now but gets elbowed in the ribs for his efforts. He comes back with a quick belly to back suplex, only to go up top and dive into a dropkick to the ribs. The hot tag brings in Mysterio who rolls through a sunset flip and kicks Primo in the face for two. A seated senton looks to set up the 619 but Primo moves to the side, only to get caught in La Majistral for the pin. Darren Young is left all alone and it’s finishers a go-go until Rey finishes him with a top rope splash for the win.

Rating: C. The winners were never really in doubt but this was the right way to get a show going. The fast paced stuff worked very well here with all of the smaller guys hitting their dives to wake the crowd up and give them a fun match. It’s no masterpiece or anything but it did exactly what it was supposed to do. A little trivia for you: that loss makes Tensai 0-5 at Survivor Series, which I’m pretty sure is the worst record ever.

Kaitlyn is on her way to the ring when someone in black attacks her. Kaitlyn fights back to reveal a blonde wig which falls off as the attacker leaves. Eve pops up and acts all shocked even though she’s evil at the moment. I think the attacker wound up being Aksana.

Divas Title: Katilyn vs. Eve Torres

Eve is defending. Kaitlyn jumps her to start and pounds away in the corner before sending Eve out to the floor. The champion is sent into the barricade and apron before heading back inside for some hair pulling. Eve kicks her in the ribs and slams Kaitlyn’s head into the mat over and over for two. Off to the corner for some choking and an elbow to the back gets two on Kaitlyn.

Eve puts on a figure four choke before clotheslining Kaitlyn down for no cover. Kaitlyn pops back up to break up the moonsault, sending Eve out to the floor. Back in and Eve is tossed around by the hair followed by a fireman’s carry gutbuster for two. Eve comes right back by sweeping Kaitlyn’s legs out and finishing her with a swinging neckbreaker.

Rating: D. As is the case with the Divas around this time, there isn’t much to brag about other than the girls looked good in their outfits. Kaitlyn just wasn’t that good in the ring and hasn’t gotten much better ever since. Eve was good but her character had hit a ceiling around this time. It’s no surprise she was gone soon after this.

Team Ziggler argues over who is the leader.

Team Foley argues over who will survive. Foley unites them in a BANG BANG chant, save for Orton. Foley: “Randy?” Orton: “I hate you.” Foley: “He’s ready.”

US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. R-Truth

Cesaro is defending and asks why Americans are thankful. The only thing he can think of is how great of a champion he is. Truth gets a quick rollup, sunset flip and rolling cradle for two each before thrusting his hips a bit. Cesaro comes back with a headbutt and a clothesline before pounding away on Truth in the corner. Off to an armbar but a USA chant gets Truth to his feet. The champion shoulders him in the corner and puts on a body vice to keep Truth down again.

A knee to the ribs gets two as JBL lists off some facts about Cesaro’s rugby career. Cole brushes him off and starts listing off rugby facts of his own, sending JBL into a hilarious rant about Cole not listening and asking if Cole is a parrot. The gutwrench suplex gets two for Cesaro and an uppercut gets the same. Back to the body vice for a bit before Truth makes his comeback. Some clotheslines take Cesaro down and a spinning kick to the face gets two. A front suplex gets the same for Truth but the ax kick misses and Cesaro Neutralizes him to retain.

Rating: D. Other than JBL’s rant there was nothing to pay attention to here. These kind of title defenses tend to be very dull as someone like Truth isn’t going to take the title off Cesaro. For the life of me I don’t get why Cesaro isn’t a bigger deal than he is today. The guy has everything you would need but he doesn’t get that big push.

Ad for TLC, set up like an ad for David Otunga’s law offices.

We get a clip from Raw of voicemails from AJ, saying that she wants to end her relationship with Cena, but she loses control when she sees him. AJ claims that Ziggler hacked her phone and set those up. Ziggler makes fun of Cena’s, ahem, performance issues, drawing out Cena as backup. AJ slapped Ziggler down without Cena doing a thing.

Here’s AJ with some evidence against someone for something. Over the last month Vickie has been trying to prove that AJ is having an affair with Cena (remember that they’re both single at this point) which AJ thinks means Vickie has something to hide. This brings out Vickie, ranting as always about how much power she has and how she’s being disrespected.

AJ has pictures of Vickie eating with various wrestling personalities and this is SCANDALOUS! I’ve spent a long time trying to block this storyline out of my head but now I’m remembering how dumb it was. Vickie is shown in a one piece leopard swimsuit dancing with Brodus and Vickie shouts a lot. Slapping is threatened but they both get fired for touching the other, so here’s Tamina Snuka to destroy AJ on Vickie’s behalf. This story would keep going for WEEKS.

Promo for the Attitude Era DVD. Just writing that is so wrong.

Paul Heyman talks about how Punk is now #8 on the all time list for longest title reign and will be rising up the ranks even further after tonight because he’s the best in the world. Heyman is just awesome at promoting his guys.

We recap Big Show vs. Sheamus. Not much of a story here other than they had a war at HIAC with both guys kicking out of each others’ finishers in a great match. Tonight is a rematch.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Big Show

It’s another brawl to start with Sheamus pounding away but Big Show gets in a few shots of his own to take over. The big chop misses in the corner and Sheamus gets in some more shots to little avail. Finally Sheamus wakes up and goes after the knees before tying Show up in the rpes for the forearms to the chest. Big Show escapes to the floor but Sheamus dives off the apron to get in even more right hands to the head.

Back in and Sheamus goes up top but Big Show spears him out of the air in a cool looking crash. They head outside again with Show sending Sheamus into the steps. Sheamus is thrown back in and can barely move. Big Show steps on Sheamus’ ribs a few times as the match has slowed way down. A huge elbow drop gets two and we hit the nerve hold. Sheamus fights up quickly but walks into a side slam for two as the match stays in slow motion. Since the slams aren’t working, Show just stands on Sheamus’ head. Sheamus fights up and grabs a sleeper but Big Show throws him off.

Big Show is getting winded so Sheamus pounds away as much as he can, only to miss a charge and go shoulder first into the post. The Final Cut gets two and Show goes to the middle rope, only to be caught in an electric chair of all things for two. That was rather awesome indeed. They slug it out from their knees and Sheamus takes over, knocking Show down with a running ax handle.

The Brogue Kick and chokeslam are countered and Sheamus gets two off White Noise. Now the fans are getting into this again. Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick again but takes out the referee by mistake. Four people immediately come out to check on the referee as the replay shows the champion pulling him in the way. Big Show knocks out Sheamus and one of the referees counts a pin to end the match out of nowhere.

Rating: C. The match was slow for the most part and the ending hurts it even worse. This took all the good stuff out of the HIAC match and turned it into a dull imitation. This needed to be two monsters firing bombs at each other until neither guy could get up but instead it was your usual Big Show match at about 4 miles per hour.

Post match Show is disqualified and Sheamus lays the thirty one chair shots on him. I never remembered it being that many and that’s because it’s more like 18 and a Brogue Kick. Big Show crawls to the back as WE WANT ZIGGLER chants are ignored.

Team Ziggler vs. Team Foley

Dolph Ziggler, Alberto Del Rio, David Otunga, Damien Sandow, Wade Barrett

The Miz, Kofi Kingston, HELL NO, Randy Orton

So as I said, it was supposed to be Punk vs. Foley over old school vs. new school, but Punk was put in the main event and Ziggler was picked despite having no issue with Foley. The match was originally Punk/Sandow/Miz/Del Rio/Rhodes, but Cody got hurt and Miz felt he didn’t deserve the spot, so Miz was replaced by Barrett and Cody was replaced by Otunga. Ryback was originally on Team Foley but was moved to the main event and replaced by Miz in a Raw poll. As you can see, the match is a huge mess and almost no one was interested in it for the most part. HELL NO have the tag belts and Kofi is Intercontinental Champion of course.

Kofi grabs a quick rollup for two on Otunga to start. David avoids a quick Trouble in Paradise but gets caught by a dive on the floor. Otunga’s trunks are pulled up a bit as Bryan comes in with his kicks. Off to Sandow for the Russian legsweep and the Wind-Up elbow gets two. Bryan fights out of a chinlock and fires off the kicks to the chest to send Sandow out to the floor. Damien says good luck and walks out but Kane will have none of that. Back in and Bryan’s big kick to the head sets up a chokeslam for a fast elimination.

The tag champions get in an argument for no apparent reason, allowing Ziggler to hit a quick Zig Zag on Kane for the pin. That makes the move look strong if nothing else. Orton and Miz get in a quick fight for some reason but Randy catches a sneaky Ziggler in the slingshot suplex for two. Off to Kofi for the matchup that will not die with Ziggler being launched face first into the buckle for two. Back to Bryan who gets poked in the eye, allowing Dolph to tag in Barrett.

Bryan shouts NO a lot but misses a charge into the corner, setting up Barrett’s big boot in the ropes. Otunga comes in again and the YES Lock goes on almost immediately for the submission. It’s 4-3 with Foley in the lead as Del Rio comes in with a chinlock on Bryan. Back up and Del Rio misses a charge into the corner, allowing Bryan to kick him out to the floor. Kofi gets the not very hot tag and kicks Del Rio down, setting up the Boom Drop for no cover. Instead Ziggler distracts Kofi so Trouble in Paradise misses, but Kofi runs up the corner for a cross body and two.

Wade comes right back with the Bull Hammer for a quick pin, getting us down to 3-3 (Orton/Miz/Bryan vs. Barrett/Ziggler/Del Rio). Orton comes in right away and suplexes Barrett down before cranking on the arm. Miz doesn’t seem interested in a tag but Bryan is glad to come in and work on an arm. A middle rope dropkick gets two and Bryan snaps off even more kicks. Barrett avoids a big one and tags in Del Rio but Alberto has to fight out of a quick YES Lock attempt.

Alberto tries a running enziguri in the corner but hits the arm instead, setting up the cross armbreaker for the elimination. Can you imagine the reaction if that happened today? Miz comes in for the first time and scores with some left hands before it’s back to Orton for his traditional stuff. Back to Ziggler who takes over on Randy with a big elbow followed by a chinlock. Orton fights up and launches Ziggler into the air in a nice crash.

A double tag brings in Barrett and Miz with the American connecting with the corner clothesline. The Skull Crushing Finale is countered into a pumphandle attempt (which isn’t the Wasteland Cole) but Miz escapes into the Finale for the elimination to tie us up at two. Del Rio comes in next but charges into a DDT for two. Alberto grabs a German suplex for two but gets pulled off the middle rope in a crash. Miz misses the corner clothesline and gets enziguried for an elimination.

That leaves Orton vs. Ziggler/Del Rio with Alberto starting for his pair. Orton fires off some punches but gets caught by a cheap shot, allowing Ziggler to come in and slow things down. Alberto is back in very quickly with a double stomp to the ribs but goes up top, only to dive into a dropkick. Ricardo trips up Orton, earning him Socko down the throat. Ziggler accidentally dropkicks Del Rio and gets sent into the post. A quick RKO takes out Alberto and it’s one on one now with Orton having that evil look in his eyes.

Orton immediately goes into RKO mode but Ziggler holds the ropes and hits the Zig Zag for a quick near fall. So it can beat Kane after he’s taken no damage at all but Orton kicks out at two after twenty minutes? Score one for the Viper. The Fameasser misses and Orton hits the Elevated DDT despite bleeding from the mouth a bit. Orton loads up the Punt like a schnook though and walks into a superkick for the pin.

Rating: C-. Here’s the problem again: the match isn’t bad but there’s no reason for these guys to be fighting each other. Yeah they’ve all feuded with each other at some point in the past, but there’s nothing going on setting up this match. It’s really just ten guys fighting each other with a minor feud here or there. There was no reason to care about this match and that’s exactly how the match felt. Decent match, but the absence of emotion held it back.

Tout continues to annoy me a year after it stopped being a thing.

We recap the main event. Punk has been champion for a year almost to the day, Ryback got screwed over by Brad Maddox inside the Cell and Cena gave Ryback his spot in the Cell due to injury. The solution? TRIPLE THREAT OF COURSE!!!

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Ryback vs. CM Punk

Punk bails to the floor to start and gets chased by both guys. Ryback finally catches him in the corner but Cena is all like “dude, my arch nemesis” and pulls Ryback away, allowing Punk to get in shots on both guys. Ryback kicks him in the chest and Cena adds a bulldog before Ryback clotheslines Punk to the floor. It’s the battle of the heroes with Cena pounding away but Ryback escapes the AA and knocks Cena to the outside.

Punk is back in now and scores with a snap suplex on Ryback, but the monster pops right back up and gorilla presses the champion into a fallaway slam. Cena comes back in with a belly to belly for two on Ryback before putting on a chinlock. Punk breaks it up with a top rope ax handle and Cena falls to the floor. Another ax handle attempt is caught in midair but Punk takes Ryback down with a neckbreaker. Cena sneaks in with a rollup for two but Punk DDTs him down for two more.

With Cena down, Punk channels his inner Austin Aries and puts on the Last Chancery but Ryback lifts Punk into the air for a powerslam. Cena grabs the ProtoBomb on Ryback but Ryback pops up, leading to a slugout. The shoulder blocks look to take Ryback down but Punk pulls John to the floor and sends him into the steps. Punk’s springboard clothesline gets two on Ryback and we hit the chinlock. Ryback fights up and slams Punk down followed by the Meathook. Cena breaks up the Shell Shock and puts Ryback in the STF but it’s Punk with the Macho Elbow for the save.

Everyone is down now and Punk might have hurt himself on that elbow. He’s up first though but can’t hit the GTS on Cena. Punk and Cena slug it out but Ryback clotheslines both guys down to take over again. Ryback sends both guys to the floor for some reason but they double team Ryback down as a result. A double suplex puts Ryback through the table and they head inside for the real showdown.

Punk grabs a GTS out of nowhere for two and Heyman is livid. The AA gets the same result other than Heyman being relieved. Punk comes back with the running knee but the bulldog is countered into the STF. Ryback makes the save and throws Cena into the barricade to put him down. The Meathook and Shell Shock lay out Punk but Cena makes a diving save. The Shell Shock lays out Cena as well……but here are three guys in black to destroy Ryback. They pound away on Ryback and take him to the floor for a TripleBomb through the table. Punk crawls over and pins Cena to retain.

Rating: C+. It’s probably the best match of the night but that’s not saying much at this point. Obviously the three guys were Reign/Ambrose/Rollins which Cole tells us during Punk’s celebration. Punk winning was a good idea and set up more stuff down the line which is the best possible outcome. You could feel the wind blowing as Ryback fell down the card though and he hasn’t recovered yet. Fairly good match but nowhere near enough to save the show though.

Overall Rating: D. Man alive has time been cruel to this show. Watching it live there was some drama, but looking back you have two LONG Survivor Series matches with no real story behind them and two screwjob finishes in title matches. Shield would become a bigger deal but no one knew that at this point. This was a “tune into Raw tomorrow night” show and that’s not good for the Survivor Series.

Ratings Comparison

3MB vs. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella

Original:

Redo: D+

Team Clay vs. Team Tensai

Original: B-

Redo: C

Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn

Original: D-

Redo: D

R-Truth vs. Antonio Cesaro

Original: D

Redo: D

Sheamus vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: C

Team Foley vs. Team Ziggler

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Ryback vs. John Cena vs. CM Punk

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: D

About the same down the line. It sucked back then and it sucked now. I actually watched most of this show late and while still tired from a flight the first time around but apparently it had more problems than that.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/21/survivor-series-2012-a-filler-ppv-disguised-as-a-major-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

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WWF House Show
Date: October 17, 1983
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Pat Patterson

Now this is a very interesting one. I saw the show on youtube and absolutely had to do it. The card itself doesn’t mean much as this is during the very tail end of Backlund’s time with the title (he’s defending against Masked Superstar, which is Ax from Demolition) tonight, but there’s another match which we’ll get to in a bit that I’m watching this for. Let’s get to it.

Rene Goulet vs. Tony Garea

Well Garea is awesome at least. Rene gets chased to the apron where he puts on some sort of glove. This is all before the bell apparently. They lock up and Rene climbs up the ropes to escape. Rene gets on Garea’s nerves so Tony punches him into the corner. Goulet bails for a bit and grabs a top wristlock. It’s pretty clear they have a decent amount of time for the match too because this hold goes on for several minutes.

Gorilla and Pat talk about who the Masked Superstar is because there’s no point to talking about this match. Garea comes back with one of his own which gets him nowhere as Goulet pulls the hair. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long at all. Goulet stomps on him a bit and this is going nowhere. He rams Tony into the corner a few times and it’s bearhug time.

Goulet finally goes for his Claw but Garea gets all fired up and starts his comeback. He firest off some right hands and a dropkick followed by an atomic drop. Goulet, being French, sells that in an over the top way that Honky Tonk Man would be proud of. That only gets two but a sunset flip gets Tony the pin.

Rating: C-. Not a very good match or anything but it got the crowd going. This is what someone like Garea was great at: throw him out there, let him get beaten up, and have the crowd get fired up for his comeback. Garea is one of those guys where the more I see of him the more I like him, so this wasn’t too bad. I never remember Goulet winning a match.

SD Jones vs. Tiger Chung Lee

Lee has Blassie with him and Jones is coming back off an injury. They fight over arm control which is won by Jones but Lee takes him to the mat and works on the knee. Apparently Blassie, the manager of Lee, didn’t come out to watch. If I were Lee I’d try to get traded for two jobbers to be named later. Jones headbutts him down and it’s time to dance!

Lee chops him down and puts on the nerve hold. Make that a chinlock. Jones spins around to set up a clothesline but Lee runs him over with a shoulder. Back to the chinlock as Gorilla says raw fish wouldn’t turn him on. I don’t think I ever need that image in my head again. Jones comes back with a backdrop and a headbutt for two. Lee runs him over again but gets slammed off the top for two. After Jones no sells a thumb to the eye (how do you do that?) an enziguri pins him.

Rating: D. Really boring match here as it was mainly punching and kicking with a chinlock thrown in. Lee was your usual evil Japanese heel and Jones was popular for some reason that I never got. There were far better generic strong black guys to cheer for but this guy kept sticking around the card. Bad match.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Ivan Putski

Slaughter is EVIL. LONG stall to start as Slaughter doesn’t want to lock up with him. After about two minutes they lock up and Putski uses one of his signature moves: a headlock. It’s not an 80’s thing. It would still be boring by any standards. We’re three and a half minutes into this and we’ve had a headlock as our entire offense. Putski runs him over and puts on a chinlock. This is going to be really dull isn’t it?

Slaughter gets rammed into the post and Putski is in full control. Sarge finally hits an atomic drop but hurts his own knee on it. He manages to come off the middle rope but that leg is bothering him. This has to be legit as there’s no reason for him to sell like this. Slaughter “charges” at him in the corner but hits the post again head first. He manages to hook the Cobra Clutch but Putski makes the rope. Ivan comes back with a bunch of right hands….and one hits the referee for the lame DQ.

Rating: D. A lot of this was because of the knee injury as it would seem they went home early. That being said, the stuff before the injury was really bad with the vast majority of it being a headlock and punches. The early 80s were never really know for workrate and you can see that here very clearly. Putski just wasn’t that good.

Mike Sharpe vs. Tito Santana

This should be good. Before he became an OCD jobber, Sharpe was an OCD midcard heel. Tito grabs a fast hammerlock and Sharpe makes the ropes, which he protests for some reason. They do it again and Santana takes him to the mat which is broken up by the referee. Even Gorilla calls him stupid for that, so you know it was bad. Sharpe adjusts his forearm pad and hits Tito with it, making it cause much more damage.

Santana doesn’t seem to care as he hits a few monkey flips and stomps away in the corner. Sharpe chills on the floor for a bit but walks right back into an armbar. You can tell they’ve got a lot of time to work with here. Sharpe tries about a half dozen counters but Tito will never let go of the hold. He finally gets the rope after about three minutes in the hold. See what I mean by them taking their time?

Sharpe comes back with right hands and right boots to put Tito down. A quick sunset flip gets two for Tito and a straight right hand puts Sharpe down. He misses a charge though and things slow down. Small package gets two but Sharpe gets his foot on the ropes. Off to a chinlock which Tito can’t quite break. After a few minutes in that he guillotines Tito over the top rope. They collide to put both guys down. To the fans’ credit they’re staying in this, despite the match being pretty dull so far. Sharpe misses an elbow and Tito drops a knee for two as the bell rings for the time limit at about 17 minutes which is called 20.

Rating: C-. This was ok but it’s more long than good. There was a lot of laying around and rest holds which get annoying very quickly. Tito kept things fast paced when he was in control though and the fans ate him up so the match wasn’t really terrible or anything. Santana was always good but he needed something better to work with.

Santana chases him off post match.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Masked Superstar

Masked Superstar is Ax of Demolition so there’s a chance I’ll call him Ax from time to time. They go to the mat quickly and Backlund is more than fine with that. Backlund takes him back down again with a headlock. Superstar runs him over and tries another headlock on the mat but Bob breaks that up with ease. We hear about Eddie Gilbert being injured by Superstar, which is a show I’ve actually seen.

The champion controls with a headscissors on the mat to frustrate the big guy. Now it’s an armbar as Backlund is picking him apart with whatever body part he cares to work on at the moment. For some reason Superstar keeps trying amateur stuff on Backlund and it fails more and more each time.

Backlund runs over the bigger guy and we get a botched sequence as Superstar tries what looked like a cross body but Backlund didn’t drop at first. It looked like Superstar was trying a jumping tornado DDT but since the regular version didn’t exist yet, he fell on Backlund after spinning around a bit. Really bad looking move but it’s more on Backlund than Superstar, which is rare to see from him.

They slug it out a bit and Backlund goes right back to the arm to keep control. This time it’s a hammerlock so at least he’s mixing things up somewhat. We’re almost ten minutes into this and about six of those have been arm work. Superstar knocks him to the floor to get his first I guess you would say advantage of the match. Backlund finally gets back in and a high knee to the shoulder (supposed to be the face) gets two.

Time for a chinlock as Superstar isn’t much for offense I guess. Backlund fights out of it with punches as this becomes a slugout. Flying headbutt gets two for Superstar. Another attempt at it hits the mat though and Backlund is getting all fired up. He pounds on the arm and tries the chickenwing but Superstar makes the rope very quickly. A clothesline sets up Superstar’s neckbreaker finisher but he won’t cover. Instead he takes Backlund outside and hits the neckbreaker out there which gives him the countout win.

Rating: C. This was basically a Backlund squash for the first ten minutes and then a pretty uninteresting match for the remaining five minutes. Superstar didn’t really do anything until the end with the neckbreaker, which goes to show you how devastating any move can be if it’s sold right. Why he wouldn’t go for the cover is beyond me but whatever.

Post match Backlund comes back in and beats up Superstar, making the neckbreaker seem like a pretty weak move.

Backlund says he knows what he’s facing in Masked Superstar now and he’s ready for him next time. Backlund plays a good psycho.

Bob Bradley vs. Mike Graham

No idea who Bradley is but he’s built well. Graham is the son of Florida promoter Eddie Graham and is okish in the ring. He hooks on an armbar after working Bradley on the mat for a bit. Really uninteresting match here as it’s pure filler between the world title match and the next one which is the feature match of the night. Bradley tries to control him but Graham is too fast for him. A German suplex gets a fast pin for Mike.

Rating: D. Like I said, not an interesting match at all and there’s nothing much else to say about it. Graham never was that good but if you needed a placeholder for a quick match like this one he was ok. I’ve never heard of Bradley but he’s a muscular guy so you can probably guess why he had a job.

Graham says he’s looking for competition to get his Junior Heavyweight Championship back.

Jimmy Snuka says this ends tonight with Muraco. He’s going to reach down inside himself to get whatever it takes because Muraco has brought out the animal in him. Really good promo here.

Buddy Rogers, Snuka’s manager, says this match is important and his man is ready for it.

Muraco says all the talking is done and all that matters now is the match.

Intercontinental Title: Don Muraco vs. Jimmy Snuka

This is in a cage. Sound familiar? You can only win by escape, making this a REAL cage match. A quick slugout is won by Snuka but Muraco pops back up. Snuka chops away as the beating begins. Don tries for the door but Snuka will have none of that. Muraco manages to slingshot him into the cage and Jimmy is busted early. Snuka gets a knee up and climbs the cage, only to come back down and pound away on Muraco some more.

Don manages a slam and goes for the door but Jimmy makes a save, only to take a low blow. Snuka pops up and chops Don’s head open, followed by a middle rope headbutt. He stands Muraco up, and in a semi-famous ending, hits a flying headbutt which knocks Muraco into the door, knocking it open so that the unconscious Muraco can fall out to keep the title.

Rating: D+. The match was intense while it lasted, but the whole thing only runs about seven minutes. There’s nothing of note here at all other than the ending which is pretty creative. I don’t remember a shorter cage match off the top of my head, which is something I think a lot of people forget. I think people think this was a big and epic brawl but it’s really Snuka killing him and then the ending with a run time of 6:46. That’s not much.

Post match Jimmy snaps and throws Muraco back inside. He suplexes Muraco down and goes to the corner. He climbs to the top rope but then goes a step further to the top of the cage, and in the most famous scene in wrestling until Hogan vs. Andre, jumps off the top of the cage with the Superfly Splash, completely crushing Muraco. That still looks great today, and some credit needs to go to Muraco. He was starting to sit up when Jimmy hits him, but after the Splash Muraco is DEAD.

Mick Foley, Sandman, Tommy Dreamer and Bubba Ray Dudley were in attendance that night and all have said this was what made them want to be a wrestler. I can easily see how that would be the case, as there was nothing like this beforehand. Snuka was flying through the air and crushed Muraco, which still looks incredible today. It’s stuff like that which you can only see in wrestling, which is what makes it great.

For some reason on the replays they keep stopping it right before the splash hits.

Albano, Muraco’s manager, says that Muraco is hurt but he’ll be fine and he’ll be back because he’s awesome. Albano rants again a bit because that’s what he does.

Sika vs. Rocky Johnson

The Samoans have the titles and the Soul Patrol wants them. Sika pounds on him to start but misses a charge and Rocky grabs a sunset out of nowhere for the shocking pin. Johnson and Atlas would get the titles in about a month.

Invaders vs. Butcher Vachon/Israel Matia

The Invaders are undefeated and are masked men from Puerto Rico. We’ll say #1 starts with Matia. The Invaders would be faces here I think. Off to #2 and Israel is in trouble. The masked men tag in so fast that I’ve completely lost track of who is who. Off to Butcher (Mad Dog’s brother and Luna’s dad) who gets in a shot at I think #1 to send him to the floor.

#2 has better luck so Butcher tags in Matia while Matia isn’t paying attention. We get a few instances of the tag that the referee doesn’t see which is an old standard way to get the crowd going. The heels cheat some more until the tag brings in #2. A double dropkick puts Matia down and heel miscommunication allows #1 to hip toss #2 onto Israel for the pin.

Rating: D-. What a mess! It seemed like they had no idea who was supposed to be in control here for the most part, which defeats the purpose of what came off like it was supposed to be a squash. The Invaders didn’t last long but #1 is more famous for likely murdering Bruiser Brody.

Andre says he’s got the Samoan tonight. Not much for him to say this week.

Afa vs. Andre the Giant

Afa jumps him before the entrances and the pain begins soon after. Andre kicks him in the head and sits on him for the pin in less than a minute. Total dominance.

Overall Rating: D+. Classic moment aside, this was a pretty uninteresting show. Most of the stuff is watchable but at the same time there’s nothing in the ring that is anything great. I’m sure you’ve seen the cage dive a few thousand times and while it’s cool to see it in context, there’s not much here to see otherwise. Watchable show but it’s nothing worth going out of your way to see. The company needed a shakeup and that would happen in about three months.

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Bound For Glory 2009
Date: October 18, 2009
Location: Bren Events Center, Irvine, California
Attendance: 2,400
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

Since we’re 5 days from THE BIGGEST TNA SHOW EVER I figured a show was called for. This is from about a year ago and it’s AJ’s trial by fire more or less. He won the title at No Surrender but needs to beat Sting to solidify his reign. Other than that this card looks ok but it also looks like a run of the mill TNA PPV. We’re in California here which is a new thing for the company. However, they’re at about 40% full so it’s not exactly something to write home about. Let’s get to it.

This is TNA’s biggest show of the year so they have a theme song here. Also this is 9 days before Hogan and Bischoff signed. Everyone talks about how important this show is to them. They’re trying to make it seem big if nothing else so points for that. Oh and it might be Sting’s last match. Yeah right.

Some guy named Zakk Wylde plays the national anthem.

X–Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley vs. Amazing Red vs. Suicide vs. Daniels vs. Homicide

This is Ultimate X and the Guns got in by winning a tag match earlier. Suicide is played by Kaz here. Dinero was supposed to be in this too but had a legit family emergency. Red has Don West with him. This is Red’s first Ultimate X match. That’s rather surprising. And there’s a rather scary close up of Homicide. Red and Suicide (how did he and Homicide never team together?) go to the floor as the spots begin.

Daniels stops a huge dive by Red to kill the crowd. Daniels has won four straight of these matches apparently. Red hits a SWEET Rana off the top to Daniels to the floor, taking out about 3 other people. The Guns take over with some of their awesome team stuff. No real attempts at going for the belt until Homicide heads up there. Suicide trumps Homicide though and everyone crashes.

This turns into the Guns vs. everyone else as Daniels takes a missile dropkick Doomsday Device. Everything goes insane again and you can’t really follow much of anything. Homicide, a heel here, goes up but Daniels stops him. Daniels and Sabin play a little chicken but both crash as well. SICK tornado DDT by Sabin. Red gets a leaping Downward Spiral to take out Daniels as this has been rather fun.

There’s the required Tower of Doom spot that never gets old with the big move being Suicide hitting a moonsault on Daniels. To give you an idea, Suicide was on the top rope. Red got behind him for a German. Red was powerbombed off by Sabin. Red suplexed Suicide off and Suicide flipped into a moonsault press onto Daniels. Ok so onto is a stretch but you get the concept.

The crowd isn’t really feeling this outside of big spots, which isn’t great but it’s also not horrible. They know their chants though I suppose. Best Moonsault Ever to Sabin. Daniels, Suicide and Red go up to the top of the structure, as in 7 feet about the X, getting a please don’t die chant. They’re above the height of being on top of the Cell. Daniels almost falls as this is terrifying.

Daniels thankfully drops down as does Suicide. Red is laying on top as the Guns go for the traditional way. Suicide and Daniels go down and Daniels lands on his head. Tazz half kayfabe shouts CHECK HIM, and I couldn’t agree more. Red drops down and gets the belt. I’m legit worried about Daniels after that fall. Don West comes out to celebrate.

Rating: B. I was trying to figure out if it should be minus or plus but this is fine. I’ve never been wild on having big gimmick matches like this to open the show. I get having an X match here but not the big gimmick matches like these. Save these for the middle of the card where the crowd needs a boost. Still though this was solid and the spots were great. Daniels’ fall was scary though. Fun match and did exactly its job though.

Lauren is with the Beautiful People, who are getting the Knockouts Tag Title shot tonight. The belts are like a month old here and Velvet is ridiculously hot as the evil chick. This is Lacey, Velvet and Madison if you’re not sure.

Taylor and Sarita, the champions, say they’ll keep the belts. Sarita insults them in Spanish and it’s fun to be able to understand it.

Tenay and Taz run down the card. I never get this.

Knockout Tag Titles: Beautiful People vs. Taylor Wilde/Sarita

Velvet and Madison here. Lacey makes out with the referee and is allowed to stay at ringside. Hebner comes out and throws her out anyway. We botch an armdrag to start as Taylor just kind of falls down. Ah now things are a bit better. Typical match of the genre but Sarita hits a NICE missile dropkick to Velvet. Taylor gets a German into a bridge for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quickie to have the new titles on the show. This wasn’t anything bad and nothing too offensive, but dang these belts would get meaningless very fast. They need to just drop them already and get some fresh blood in the division. Allegedly Mickie is on the way so that should help a lot.

We recap the Legends Title feud which is Eric Young leading World Elite and wanting the title which Nash holds. This was just an awkwardly put together feud and it never clicked at all. Oh and there’s a World Elite vs. Mafia feud with a bounty on Young’s head or something. Like I said it just never clicked at all.

Nash and Young might have an alliance. Young talks a lot and Nash just kind of says whatever.

Legends Title: Kevin Nash vs. Eric Young vs. Hernandez

Nash has the title here if I forgot to mention that. Hernandez went from being the hottest thing in the world to this. In a year the Legends Title went from Legends to Global to TV. Hernandez, still in the khaki shorts here, beats up both guys to start us off. BIG shoulder block puts Young on the floor. This is basically Hernandez beats up two guys until we get to the conflict between the heels match.

Solid heat on Young. Match is far from that though. And there’s the issue between the heels as Young insists it was just instinct. Hernandez hits a pretty weak missile dropkick to Nash as this is just a boring match. It’s not really horrible but it’s just totally not interesting at all. Big dive by Super Mex to try to make this more interesting.

This has zero flow to it at all and it’s hurting badly. Young hits a big elbow on Hernandez and pulls Nash’s straps down. He sets for the Jackknife and Young rams Hernandez’s head into Nash’s balls for the pin. Pay no attention to Nash’s shoulder being WAY up.

Rating: D-. Not a bad match exactly but just not interesting at all. This was a weird one as they were trying but the styles just totally did not mesh. Like I said it’s not horrible but it’s just there. No flow or story being told really and while the ending was somewhat creative it just never amounted to anything and didn’t work at all.

The teams in the tag title match are arguing but Douglas Williams says worry about Team 3D. And hey there’s a Wrestlemania reference. There’s a Full Metal Mayhem match tonight which they say is the same as a TLC match.

IWGP Tag Titles/TNA Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. British Invasion vs. Team 3D vs. Main Event Mafia

Since this is TNA they can manage to screw up a TLC match. Both tag titles are on the line here and any team can win any of them. The Mafia, Steiner and Booker, are TNA tag champions and the Invasion are the IWGP champions. The thing was that TNA decided that since EVERYONE watches Japanese tag wrestling that there was nothing wrong with having two sets of tag titles because these other belts are SO famous. I really hated this idea, as in far more than most TNA ideas which should tell you a lot.

Thankfully soon after this TNA would WAKE UP and realize no one cared about the IWGP belts because THIS ISN’T JAPAN. Big brawl to start while Beer Money hides in the corner which is smart. We get into the heart of why I hate this immediately as Taz and Tenay talk about how prestigious the IWGP belts are. That’s all well and good but there’s one flaw: your belts are supposed to be the top titles. If they weren’t you wouldn’t call them WORLD tag titles. It was like TNA was saying “yeah we’re a big deal but we pale in comparison to Japan.” I hated it.

Steiner and D-Von go off to fight and it’s a big mess that’s hard to call. I wouldn’t have put two big multi-man climb up to get an object matches on one show but I get what they were thinking here. Ton of weapons go everywhere and of course there isn’t much in the way of flow but there isn’t supposed to be here. DWI for Booker. Steiner busts out the corner Frankensteiner which is nothing like the original one but is an easier way to avoid having to do the harder spot.

Booker might be legit hurt. Steiner does nothing but suplexes, showing his level of awesomeness. Steiner goes up after the TNA belts (at least he didn’t go for the others first) but the ladder is too short and he gets shoved off. Booker has a stretcher brought out for him as Steiner takes What’s Up. Eh with that many steroids in him he probably didn’t feel a thing.

The Brits bring in tables as Booker is wheeled out. Dudleys just END the English dudes with chair shots. And the guitar player from earlier gets a chair shot on Magnus. Williams goes through a table in the ring as we’re in the “everyone but three people lay down while the three guys do spots” and D-Von hits What’s Up on Williams. BIG Table chant. Double chokeslams (from the Dudleys?) put Beer Money down and through tables.

Steiner pops back up and brings in a ladder. And then he falls off a ladder thanks to 3D. The team not the move. The Dudleys go up at the same time like idiots and here’s Rhyno of all people, since you know 8 people in one match aren’t enough, and blasts them with chairs but not before D-Von gets the IWGP Titles down.

Beer Money and the Brits both go up, resulting in a bad looking suplex on Magnus from both guys. Beer Money has an open shot but has to do their taunt first. Storm gets some beer and then a front flip powerbomb to take Magnus out again. Cool looking spot. Roode is about to get the TNA belts but Rob Terry of the British Invasion comes down to throw him through a table and help Magnus get the belt to end it.

Rating: B. Another fun match much like Ultimate X earlier. There were a lot of people here and I think too many teams. That and having two sets of tag titles made this a bit too much of a mess and the lack of a huge spot kind of slowed it down from being great. That being said this was a fun match and did the job it was supposed to do: get the crowd going. It’s not up to the levels of the great TLC matches but it was good. I still wish they didn’t have two multi-man grab the title matches at one show though but what can you do?

Recap of the Knockouts Title match which more or less is just a three way feud with nothing special to it at all.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. ODB vs. Awesome Kong

ODB has beaten both of them already so we’ll just do it one more time I guess. Should be noted that this is the 5th match on the card, the fifth title match and the fifth match that isn’t a standard one on one or tag match. Think they’re overdoing anything here? Tara’s legs are awesome if nothing else. I never got the appeal of the ODB character at all.

Kong jumps both girls immediately but Tara goes right for her. And so much for that theory as Kong just crushes them. Middle rope splash misses both of them though and we get the rather sexy shirt rip off from Tara. She’d wear these tiny shorts and a Tapout shirt which she’d rip off to more or less reveal a half shirt. The faces fight over who gets the pin as it’s pure formula stuff here but FAR better than the Legends Title match.

Tara hooks the Tarantula but Kong makes the save, which isn’t really a save as you can’t get a submission there but you get the point. Tara gets into it with some fan that might be legit but I’m not sure. Upon further review it was Randy Couture’s wife who had wanted to do an MMA fight with Tara. All planned but TNA messed up the shot and didn’t see it. Why does this not surprise me?

Back in the ring Kong hits the middle rope splash on ODB, covering the entire front row in silicone. It gets two though as Tara makes the save. Implant Buster gets two as ODB kicks out on her own. Saed comes out and throws in a chair but Kong says no. She goes for a powerbomb on ODB and Saed slides the chair in again but ODB reverses into a face plant to the chair for the pin. Nice ending.

Rating: C-. Not a great match or anything but FAR better than the other one. There was a story and flow here rather than in the Legends match where nothing had any purpose it seemed. Everything worked here and while it’s not great it’s certainly watchable. Not bad here and definitely ok.

Morgan says tonight is personal and business.

Samoa Joe vs. Bobby Lashley

Hey look it’s another non-traditional one on one match as this is a submission match. Joe is in the Mafia here and Lashley is the MMA guy so this actually makes sense for once from a gimmick match perspective. Lashley has taped up ribs for some reason. Ah ok Rhyno jumped him on Impact. And yet he’s fighting Joe here. Well of course he is.

Joe might be a bit slimmer here but it’s hard to tell as the tattoo on his face takes away from his face a bit. Naturally we get the JOE’S GONNA KILL YOU chant because he’s a heel. Lashley hits a SICK spinebuster and goes after the arm. The problem with wrestling today is that with the advent of MMA and how fast people tap to holds it’s a BIG stretch to have people survive like 30 seconds in arm bars and leg locks.

Suicide dive to take out Lashley as Joe is far more popular than he’s supposed to be. Joe works the ribs as we’re told about the work he’s done on Lashley’s ribs recently. Thanks for talking about that in his entrance rather than Rhyno there guys. Abdominal stretch goes on as Taz is actually helpful here with his submission knowledge. Quick powerslam by Joe as he’s wildly over here.

Lashley blocks part of an armbar and gets some ground and pound in to HUGE boos. A full nelson slam from Lashley takes Joe down and we’re back to even. Lashley is REALLY bad on offense with some of the worst strikes I’ve ever seen. Joe thankfully takes over and beats the tar out of him. And then Lashley gets an STO (reverse stroke for you non-WM 2000 and No Mercy fans) into a side choke for the win. Joe blacked out or something.

Rating: D. They were trying for the MMA thing here and it just didn’t work in the slightest really. Lashley was just not that good at making what he’s capable of really doing look fake if that makes sense. This just didn’t work for me at all as it came off as sloppy and Lashley trying to get one big move in which he did. I’m not an MMA guy so I’m the wrong audience I guess, but this didn’t work at all for me.

Foley talks about fighting Abyss and makes limited sense. Apparently he doesn’t want Abyss to overshadow him and Abyss is going to have to earn it. Ah ok Foley wanted to make him his protégé and them beat the heck out of him just because I guess. Foley is heel here and we actually get a reference to Abyss being world champion. It’s Monster’s Ball also and if Abyss uses tacks he’s disqualified or something.

Mick Foley vs. Abyss

Stevie Richards is referee and is the doctor again. LOUD pyro for Abyss. Foley jumps him on the ramp and is all casual about hitting him with the barbed wire bat. I like that. I’m reading his book at the moment and haven’t gotten to this part if it’s in there. Almost immediately Foley goes up the set, climbing a tower. Abyss follows and gets knocked through part of the ramp.

Foley climbs down as Stevie says Abyss is done. Foley gets a running start and drives the bat into Abyss as he’s still in that hole in the ramp/stage. Foley, the face, of course gets cheered. Stevie is the cheerleader dude here as the match just kind of stops until Abyss climbs through the stage. We have a barded wire board from somewhere and he makes a platform with it between the guard rail and the ring.

And there’s another board that’s just like the first. Double armed DDT to Abyss to the board. Richards beats up Abyss too because EVERYONE loved that angle. Foley gets a bat shot into Abyss’ arm to open it up. His head is busted too. Foley goes into the wire board now then Abyss does the same. Make that a sandwich as the other is under him. Naturally it only gets two.

Foley busts out the tacks and Abyss sets to chokeslam him onto them but he’s not allowed. Down goes Stevie and here’s Daffney to give Foley a freaking Taser. And just to make it more stupid it explodes as Foley jabs him with it. They TOTALLY botch it as Abyss misses his kickout and Foley gets three and Abyss raises his shoulder at what would have been four so the referee says he kicked out anyway.

Crowd totally boos that out of the building as Stevie pulls the referee out when Abyss goes for the pin. Daffney goes through the platform they made earlier to get a HOLY CRAP chant. Stevie tries to beat up Abyss and goes into the tacks for his trouble sans shirt. Chokeslam for Foley and we get the Over the Edge 98 finish as Abyss slams Richards’ hand down for the pin.

Rating: C-. Totally violent but overbooked. Also the botch messed things completely up as it was clearly three and everyone knew it. These matches are fine once in awhile but does it really prove anything? This was a far cry from the Edge or Orton matches and it just didn’t work that well for me. Granted I’m not a fan of hardcore so it’s not my style anyway.

Angle says he’s awesome and that he had AJ beat but the time limit ran out.

Basically Angle stung Morgan along to get his help in winning various matches then screwed him over to make Morgan a ticked off monster that was suddenly awesome. Then he got dropped down to a midcard team with Hernandez for his efforts because Hogan came in and liked Abyss more, but that’s a bit later on. Oh and Morgan more or less cost Angle the title at No Surrender. Oh and Dixie Carter has to say something for no apparent reason other than she’s Dixie Carter.

Matt Morgan vs. Kurt Angle

This is the semi-main event on the show, we have 45 minutes of TV time left, and this is the first standard one on one match on the card. Also this has a fifteen minute time limit. Dude seriously? Say it’s got an hour or something as you know it’s only going fifteen but dude that’s the time limit a TV Title match with PN News and Steve Austin in 1991 would get.

Angle is still the leader of the Main Event Mafia here and has never won at Bound For Glory. The dueling chants begin immediately as Angle, the leader of the top heel stable in the company, is over here. TNA fans even in other cities are annoying. Morgan controls with power early as he’s getting to show off here. He goes to the top and hits about as good of a cross body as you would expect from a guy that big and who doesn’t go to the top that often.

Angle goes for the legs to take down Morgan. Figure four goes on and Morgan’s leg is almost on Angle’s face. Taz actually OFFERS SOME INSIGHT by saying that since Angle’s legs are shorter and Matt’s are longer it’s easier for Angle to get extra leverage. Well gosh, Taz worked a similar style to Angle, so this is almost like…HIM BEING AN EXPERT ON THE SUBJECT!!! WHAT A CONCEPT!

One of the guys from Boys to Men is here. TNA needs to either upgrade their celebrities or not have them acknowledged. Also, PICK A BETTER TIME TO SHOW THEM! You know, like during an entrance, not when Matt breaks a hold. Fall away slam hits Angle and his leg seems fine now. Chokeslam gets two. Hellevator is blocked into Rolling Germans from Angle.

Angle Slam, say it with me, gets two. Straps go down and the cheers go up and there’s the ankle lock. It doesn’t work but Angle counters a powerbomb into the ankle lock. Hellevator gets two. Yeah these finishers are kind of not working so far. Ankle lock is the counter to a tombstone and Morgan gets out again. Big clothesline gets two for Morgan. Loud Morgan sucks chant starts up for no apparent reason.

Morgan goes up and does it slowly which you don’t do against Angle. The running suplex isn’t great but it works. Angle Slam and a Frog Splash of all things (good one too) get two. Taz says this is his evolution into a star. That’s rather amusing. And Angle gets a victory roll for the pin. There was no more build than that. The match just kind of ended. They shake hands after the match with nothing screwy about it.

Rating: B-. Good match but not a classic/career making match like they were looking for I don’t think. The idea was to stretch Angle to a degree where he could barely win and I never got that impression here. It was definitely a solid match but it just never got to the level that they wanted it to I don’t think. You can’t say it failed to make Morgan as Hogan arriving changed everything including Morgan.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. AJ Styles

You’ll see a huge difference in the main event here than you would at most other shows from this company recently. There isn’t much of a story here. AJ was going to leave the business, Sting gave him an awesome pep talk, AJ won the title but felt he owed Sting a title shot and wanted the respect. Basic booking and a match between two guys that are solid in ring wrestlers. What an idea.

Also, how much does it say that in a year AJ has gone from main event to feuding with Tommy Dreamer? This is the awesome AJ as well, as in pre Flair and when he was the best in the world. They shake hands to start us off which is nice to see. In the last three years Sting has been 3-0 at Bound For Glory with three straight world title wins. That’s rather impressive.

Feeling out process to start of course. Long one too as we’re at about 3 minutes of it now. AJ controls early and gets a knee drop for two. Sting sends him to the floor and then holds the ropes open for him. They’re doing a slow build here but there isn’t a ton of time left in the show to do that with really. Sting takes over with a backdrop as that somethow might be the biggest move done so far. It’s not bad mind you, just a different kind of match.

Ah there we go as AJ goes for a big dive off the apron but Sting moves and AJ eats steel. Stinger Splash hits steel also and the guardrail is bent a bit. Sting gets a tombstone for two in the ring. Springboard Forearm (my favorite move in TNA) gets two. A series of counters leads to the Death Drop hitting. Sting’s leg is over AJ but there’s no count. Splash sets up another Death Drop for two.

Scorpion Deathlock goes on and it’s one of the best ones I’ve ever seen Sting do. They slug it out and Sting Hulks Up. We head to the corner and AJ gets a Pele and a springboard splash….for the pin? Uh…yeah I guess he does. That ending was TOTALLY anti-climactic as Sting was making his comeback and going all superhuman and then AJ just beat him. I was really getting into this and then it just ended. Odd.

Rating: B. Solid match that would have been classified as great until the ending which just did not work. AJ should have gotten the clean pin and he did but this match was BEGGING for another 5-8 minutes. I don’t get why they just ended the show that fast as we have five minutes left in the video so it’s not like they were lacking for time. I don’t get it but the match we got was rather good.

AJ calls Sting back to the ring (after the first microphone doesn’t work) and says this is his time. The fans chant please don’t go as this was possibly his retirement match which obviously didn’t happen but the idea was nice anyway. Also they never said it was his retirement match either so it’s in no way false advertisement whatsoever.

Sting says this is about AJ but if he’s going to lose he’s glad he lost to someone like AJ, putting him over huge. The fans chant one more year and Sting says he’s not sure if he was going to retire or not and says this isn’t kayfabe but that some of the stuff fans have said to him have made him wanting to stay forever. And then his music plays as I guess we’re out of time? Odd ending where things seemed rush.

Overall Rating: B. I rather liked this show actually and thought it came off pretty well. This is another excellent example of what TNA is capable of when they just go out there and wrestle. Hogan and Bischoff coming in have really hurt this company’s product as instead of just in ring work where this show is strong we now have everything being about swerves and angles with wrestling being a far backseat.

 

I’d love watching Impact if it was stuff like this, but it’s changed for the worse. Hey though, we have Hogan now so everything is all well and good right? Good show this year though.

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 11, 2000
Location: The Pyramid, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Armageddon and Kurt Angle shocked the world by retaining his title in a six man Hell in a Cell match against four much bigger stars and Rikishi. I’m not quite sure why someone requested this show but it’s from a great time in wrestling so I can’t complain all that much. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on the Cell match with that creepy The End Is Here song playing.

Here are Angle, Edge and Christian to open things up. Angle says that Christmas is still on December 25, Elvis is still dead and he’s still the WWF Champion. The three of them have just completed the hardest year in WWF history and now it’s time to celebrate. The Canadians congratulate Kurt for his win and Angle talks about everything he went through last night, including seeing Rikishi fly through the air off the Cell and HHH’s back being injured again.

After all that though, Angle saw his hand go over Rock’s chest to retain the title in a Christmas miracle. He overcame Rikishi, Undertaker, Rock, HHH, Steve Austin and Mick Foley’s interference to retain the WWF Title. But why aren’t the people cheering for him? It’s not fair that he’s treated like this but here’s Rock with an interruption.

Rock has heard Angle bragging in the back and since it’s the holiday season, he wants to give Angle three things tonight: milk, cookies, and the beating of all time. Angle says he’s not giving Rock a title match tonight in Knoxville (“or Memphis, like it really matters.”) but he’ll let Rock get some partners for a six man tag. This brings out the Dudleyz to stand by Rock, setting up one of our main events tonight. Rock makes it a tables match because he can. He and Angle banter a bit more while saying nothing of note until Rock and the Dudleyz head to the ring to send the heels running.

Edge and Christian are worried about the tables match but Angle has a plan.

Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn vs. Hardy Boyz

This is just after Dean’s date with Lita which resulted in Lita looking stunning in some white lingerie and Dean getting beaten up. Dean made Lita tap out last night in an elimination tag. The Hardys rush the ring and we’re ready to go. Saturn is quickly thrown to the floor so Matt and Jeff can double team Dean in the ropes. A Spin Cycle puts Dean down but Saturn comes in with a cheap shot to Matt’s bad shoulder to take over.

Saturn’s Fujiwara Armbar goes nowhere so it’s back to Dean who gets caught in a belly to back suplex. A double tag brings in Jeff and Perry with Jeff going nuts. Everything breaks down and Poetry in Motion crushes Dean before Saturn takes a Whisper in the Wind. The Twist and Swanton nail Saturn but Lita and Saturn’s girlfriend Terri get in a fight to distract the referee. Lita is knocked down as Dean sends Jeff into the steps and a ridiculously fast count gives the Radicalz a countout win.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here but it was little more than angle advancement anyway. Dean and Saturn just didn’t fit in the WWF and I think everyone knew it soon after they debuted. Then again if you give Saturn something more than loving a mop, maybe he would have been something more.

Dean kisses the knocked out Lita.

Vince and the Stooges arrive.

Patterson asks Vince if Foley is going to resign as commissioner due to the injuries to Rikishi and HHH. Vince says he’ll make Foley quit if he doesn’t do it voluntarily.

Chris Benoit vs. Billy Gunn

Benoit won the IC Title last night but this is non-title. Chris wins an early slugout but Billy catches him in a gorilla press, only to pretty drop Chris on his face. Eddie Guerrero strolls out to ringside as Benoit is holding his shoulder from the landing. Back up and Chris gets two off an elbow to the jaw. Billy comes back with some basic stuff but gets caught in a belly to back suplex. Gunn gets one of his own before knocking out Benoit with the title belt but the distraction from Guerrero prevents the three count. The Fameasser connects but Eddie comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere and that botch on the gorilla press was kind of scary. Also did we really need interference and a belt shot plus a screwjob finish for a three and a half minute match? How Billy Gunn still had a job as a singles guy at this point is beyond me.

Benoit puts Billy in the Crossface for fun.

Foley isn’t sure if he’ll resign tonight but wants to be left alone to run the show.

XFL ad.

Undertaker looks at a highlight video from last night’s Cell match and says he can’t be held responsible for what happened in the Cell. He did what he’s supposed to do: hurt people. Taker doesn’t care what happens to Foley either, but it would be ironic if he lost his career twice due to the same match. Throwing Rikishi off the Cell was better than winning the title though.

Al Snow asks Foley and Lt. Commissioner Debra for a hardcore match against Raven, despite Snow’s broken wrist. Foley grants it and even wishes Al luck.

Kurt Angle/Edge and Christian vs. The Rock/Dudley Boyz

Tables match. Christian and D-Von start with D-Von scoring some armdrags of all things. Off to Bubba for a hard elbow drop before it’s off to Edge who walks into a powerslam and a backdrop. Here’s the Great One for a Samoan Drop for two as both Rock and the referee screw up the rules. Back to D-Von but Christian gets in a knee to the back to take over. Here’s Angle for the first time to pound D-Von into the corner and try a cover of his own. Thankfully the referee doesn’t go for it this time and we keep going.

Back to Christian for a chinlock as Lawler promises a puppy related surprise. Edge’s superplex is broken up but the referee doesn’t see the tag off to Bubba. Angle pulls D-Von back to the corner as the fans want the Rock. They have to settle for more of Edge pounding on Rock until he gets caught on the ropes and pulled down with a neckbreaker. The double tag gives us Angle vs. Rock with the Brahma Bull cleaning house.

A belly to belly suplex and the spinebuster set up the People’s Elbow but Edge makes the save. Rock and Edge fight to the floor as D-Von hits What’s Up on Christian. It’s Table Time but Angle moves the table before D-Von can drop Christian through it. Kurt hits a German on Bubba but it’s Rock moving the table, only to have Bubba’s head smack the edge. Speaking of Edge, a Rock Bottom puts him through the table for the win.

Rating: C. This was decent but a normal six man tag would have done the same thing. They’re setting up Angle vs. Rock down the road but it wouldn’t be for a few more months. The fans popped for the finish which is the most important part and the Dudleys can chase the tag titles for a change.

Christian is put through the table for fun.

Vince complains about Foley sanctioning a tables match the night after the Cell. He’s also looking for some papers to fire Mick.

Austin arrived during the break.

Here’s Chyna with something to say. Chyna talks about how people like the way she dresses but there are some people that don’t like how she was undressed in Playboy. However, the only people that have a problem with her in general is Right to Censor. She wants Ivory out here right now even though she’s not interested in the Women’s Title. Chyna wants her here to beat the morality out of Ivory but gets Richards as well. Ivory says what Chyna has been doing is unacceptable and what she stands for is perverse. Chyna can have a fight if she wants because what she’s doing is wrong. Here’s a referee and we have a match.

Chyna vs. Ivory

Total destruction including a giant swing from Chyna but here’s Val Venis to interfere. There’s no bell but there was maybe thirty seconds before Venis got out there.

Val and Ivory give Chyna a spike piledriver and Chyna is out. The referee waves out a stretcher and we take a break.

Back with Chyna being loaded into an ambulance and Billy Gunn blaming Foley.

APA vs. T&A

This is around the time where T&A injured the APA and called themselves the T&APA. Trish looks GREAT in an APA shirt and the leather skirt. It’s a brawl to start as JR apologizes for the match being a sloppy brawl a few seconds into the match. The APA hits a double shoulder to take Test down but it’s T&A double teaming Farrooq. Bradshaw brings in a chair and we finally get the guys on the apron. A spinebuster puts Test down for no cover as it’s off to Bradshaw and Albert. Bradshaw cleans house as everything breaks down again with the Clothesline ending Albert a few seconds later. This was a mess.

Brisco brings the resignation papers to Vince.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring for his traditional Memphis appearance. His puppy surprise is the Memphis Maniax (XFL) cheerleaders. This brings out the RTC to complain with Richards also complaining about rap music. Cue Road Dogg and K-Kwik (R-Truth) and we’ve got a six man.

Right to Censor vs. K-Kwik/Road Dogg/Jerry Lawler

It’s a brawl to start with everyone in the ring at once but Lawler take the strap down to pound on Richards. A slam and the middle rope punch are good for the pin in less than a minute. This was fine.

Foley tells Snow he needs to cancel the hardcore match but Snow talks him into keeping the match.

Austin feels the same as always: bad, but at the same time happy because HHH is in traction. He’ll go find some trouble tonight.

Raven vs. Al Snow

This is the ultra rare non-title hardcore match. Raven jumps Snow on the stage and they fight on the big rectangular mini-trons before Raven jumps over to a coil of electrical wires and slides down like a fireman’s pole. They head into the back and Snow is crushed with an anvil case.

Snow sends him into a steel door and a bulldog onto something made of metal gets two. There’s a door open and they’re in a garage area, meaning it’s very cold in a hurry. Raven is rolled into the back door of a truck and then onto the hood of a limo. Low Down shows up to beat up Snow for some reason but Raven hits Snow with a cinder block for the pin.

Rating: D+. The division was pretty much done at this point and there wasn’t much left for them to do. This was the usual hardcore match with the stupid spots but there wasn’t enough comedy to carry it. I’m guessing the cinder block shot will injure Snow to further the Foley firing angle.

Yep, Snow is on a stretcher.

The Hollies are at WWF New York.

The fans don’t want Foley to retire.

Vince yells at Foley as Mick gets into the ambulance with Snow. Foley gets back out.

Video on the Cell last night.

Here’s Vince for the culmination of the show long angle. A lot has changed since Thursday when he demanded a divorce from Linda and some of it has been good. Vince talks about how traumatic this time in his life has been and how billionaires have feelings as well. He isn’t proud of the WWF at the moment, or at least not its commissioner. Vince isn’t proud of a commissioner who forces six men into a Cell or shows no compassion for HHH or Rikishi. None of the fans are proud of Foley either, which is why it’s time for a change.

Vince demands that Foley come out here for his resignation right now. Foley comes out and the Stooges immediately back away. Vince and Mick stare each other down and Vince says he thinks Foley sucks as commissioner, but it’s nothing personal. It’s not fair to ask everyone else to put their bodies through the same torment that Mick did. Also the job has taken its toll on Foley’s health and personal life, so Mick should resign and let it be over. Vince shows us a clip of Foley saying if anyone was hurt in the Cell, he would walk away.

The boss says there’s no way out for Foley and there’s no legal action against him if he resigns right now. Foley takes the pen to sign but the chanting of the fans stops him. Vince gets angrier and angrier but Foley still won’t sign. Foley says he isn’t sure if he should sign or not but here’s William Regal with something to say.

Willy doesn’t like the barbaric path that the WWF is taking and he’s sure everyone in the locker room agrees with him. Cue Austin to a big old pop. Austin calls Regal mealy mouthed and says if he’s got a problem with anyone, he’ll tell them right to their face. The fans want Foley to stick around so Brisco, Patterson and Regal get Stunners and it’s Socko for Vince. Foley tears up the papers to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This wasn’t very good at all. Yeah there was a show long angle but it makes Foley look like a big liar and the whole show building up to it was wasted on the ending. The wrestling wasn’t all that good either with nothing standing out whatsoever. I know they’re usually spent after the PPV shows but you expect more than this.

 

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Hard Justice 2009
Date: August 16, 2009
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

We continue our backwards trip through TNA as I keep trying to get closer and closer to being done with their PPVs. This is one of three remaining 2009 shows I have so it’s as good a place as any. Anyway the Mafia is still around and the main event (haha) is Angle vs. Sting vs. Morgan for the title. There really isn’t much else as the card is rather lackluster. Then again this isn’t one of TNA’s biggest PPVs. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about Morgan for the most part, and how he’s perfect or something. His DNA was sent into space which is rather cool. They don’t talk about anything else here so you can tell it’s a weak card.

Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley vs. Amazing Red vs. Daniels vs. Jay Lethal vs. Consequence Creed vs. Suicide vs. D’Angelo Dinero

The Guns don’t have their signature music yet. This is the steel asylum, as in the big red cage, and you win by escape. Naturally there are WAY too many people in it so you won’t be able to call a thing in it. Winner gets an X Title shot at No Surrender. This is Pope’s debut. There’s a big hole at the top and you have to climb up to escape, which is hard because the roof curves up.

The fans are behind Pope it seems. Suicide makes a run at it but Creed pulls him down. The Guns beat up Daniels because that’s what they do. The camera has to keep cutting away from the match and various spots because they have to go to other spots. Lethal Consequences takes Red down and the Guns get a dropkick Conchairto to the head of Pope. This is really a collection of spots and not a match.

Daniels takes Lethal off the top and tries a climb, only to be stopped by Dinero. And never mind as Daniels punches the cage and probably breaks his hand. We’re at the point now where most people lay around and wait on two people to do something before getting in there again. The Guns and Lethal Consequences have a mini match with the Guns getting the better of it.

Daniels and Pope keep slugging it out on the top and there’s your Tower of Doom spot. We get a complex four person submission hold with the tag teams again. Shelley hits Sliced Bread #2 on Daniels and here comes Red. He takes down just about everyone that was still on their feet/knees and goes up, only for Shelley to make the stop in the corner.

Seven people are standing in one corner or are on the rope in that corner. The eighth comes up because he’s (Sabin) very stupid. Gee, with everyone in one corner, I’m sure there’s nothing he could do in the other five corners right? Everyone gets taken down as Daniels and Red go up. Daniels hooks in a leg and is kind of hanging around. Suicide almost makes it but Pope stops him, only to be stuck in the corner. Daniels finally wakes up and climbs out to win it.

Rating: C+. Really hard to call here as the whole thing was a mess. There’s no flow to it but to be fair it’s supposed to be a big mess I think. You cut this down to four people and you have a FAR better match. That being said at 16 minutes it’s still way too long, but at the same time they were trying and hit the limit with what this match can do under these circumstances I think.

Daniels says the X-Division is awesome. He’ll get the X Title back and AJ needs to come back also.

We run down the card for the ADHD fans out there.

Morgan says he’s in the main event to win, not help Kurt.

We recap the WAY too long Dr. Stevie vs. Abyss feud. Stevie put out a $50,000 bounty on Abyss and it’s about maiming him. The maimer in this case: Jethro Holiday, more commonly known as Trevor Murdoch. Yes, really.

Abyss vs. Jethro Holiday

THIS warranted PPV times. Yes, really. Oh and it’s no DQ/weapons are legal/whatever. Holiday, ever the generic southern/country boy, chops away and gets absolutely nowhere. Abyss claps away like an idiot as we head to the floor. For the second time tonight someone punches something made of metal and Holiday takes over again. Middle rope elbow misses back in as this is already boring.

Abyss finally brings in a chair as Stevie slides in a metal stick or something to Holiday. It’s a baton I think. Abyss fights back with his big man offense like a big boot and backdrop. Let’s clap some more because that’s HARDCORE BABY! Side slam gets two. Holiday gets a chair to Abyss’ balls and a baton shot to the head gets two. More brawling ensues and a chokeslam gets two for Abyss. Holiday gets the Texas standard move in the form of a bulldog for two. Black Hole Slam ends this a second later.

Rating: D. This wasn’t horrible, but it’s Trevor Murdoch vs. Abyss on PPV. Why in the world did they think this was deserving of about 11 minutes total? Boring match for the most part and just kind of there, which is fine if it’s ok but it’s not in this case. Holiday would do nothing for the most part and would be gone in a few months.

Holiday takes down Stevie post match, I guess turning face.

Angle says he’ll keep the title. He might weigh 180lbs here.

Rob Terry vs. Hernandez

Terry stole Hernandez’s briefcase and Supermex wants it back. Hernandez says the Impact Zone is his house and it’s like Terry stole the case from his family. This is going to be a fight, not a match. The other Brits try to interfere, Hernandez runs them off, bell, shoulderblock, pin. Literally, 9 seconds of the actual match.

Beer Money says they’ll win the Japanese tag titles, because we NEED Japanese tag titles right?

World Elite is awesome apparently and Beer Money is standing in the way of their dominance despite them not really dominating anyone.

IWGP Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. British Invasion

It’s more Japanese tag titles because they’re Japanese so every non-WWE fan loves them right? The Brits have the belts here. Young jumps in on commentary here. The Brits are Magnus and Williams here. Storm and Magnus start us off as the fans chant wanker. Storm makes both Brits look like idiots to start and Roode launches Storm over the top to the floor onto both Brits.

Williams comes in and takes over on Roode, including the always awesome jumping back elbow. Everything breaks down again with Beer Money in control again. This is one of those rather boring matches where not a lot is going on here. We get one of the stupid face in crotch spots from the Brits. The champions take over with some basic leg work on Storm as this is rather boring.

The fans chant for the Cowboy so at least they have the right football team. See how far I have to go for jokes here? Do you see what I do for you people here? Williams drops a knee and Magnus gets two off of it. Weak tag to Roode who hits the Blockbuster for two. There’s the time waster by the challengers and a double team Rock Bottom gets two on Magnus. Young comes in for a distraction and Williams rolls up Roode for the pin to retain.

Rating: D-. The match itself wasn’t really that awful but it was incredibly boring. Not an interesting match in the slightest and that’s saying a lot when it comes to a team as talented as Beer Money. This went nowhere for the most part and the whole thing was just a boring waste of time. Not bad, but the lack of anything interesting killed it deader than Immortal’s current credibility.

Deaner and ODB aren’t funny.

Knockout Title: Velvet Sky/Angelina Love vs. Cody Deaner/ODB

Ok so Angelina is champion here and it’s a tag match with a guy fighting for the women’s title. Just go with it. Madison is with the blondes here. Angelina and ODB start us off here This is a rather basic match here and Angelina looks far better with fewer tattoos on her arm. Velvet comes in and do you really think it matters what goes on in this? Deaner comes in and spanks Velvet a bit.

Angelina comes in and gets a quick two on ODB. The heels take over as you would expect them to here. Velvet is rather red from the spanking. I didn’t need the image of Deaner doing that. Seated dropkick gets two for Angelina. Deaner comes back in and kisses both blondes. Make that all three of them as Madison takes some tongue apparently. The girls finally get it together and beat up Cody, only for him to avoid some hairspray from Madison and roll up Velvet for the pin and the title for ODB. Deaner would claim he was the real champion, because that’s how TNA rolls.

Rating: D. Yeah this was a mess. Velvet is hot as is Angelina, but ODB and Deaner were the focus here and I don’t see the need to have Deaner involved here at all. I think this led to Madison being tossed out of the team but that could have been done in a singles match also. Weak match and a stupid angle.

We waste more time as Velvet and Angelina leave Madison in the ring.

Taz talks for Joe, saying that Hernandez didn’t beat Joe because Joe beat Joe. Joe is going to win the X Title tonight and take it to the Mafia.

X–Division Title: Homicide vs. Samoa Joe

Joe has his face tattoo still here. The fans chant 187. Joe takes him down with strikes quickly but Homicide uses his technical abilities to take him to the floor. Homicide is considered a ring master but I’ve never really seen it. He’s not bad but I don’t see the genius aspect to him. After a pep talk from Joe it’s time to go back to work for Joe. This is a rather fast paced match which doesn’t really surprise me.

Rana is blocked to send Homicide to the floor and a suicide dive sends him flying. Back in and Joe drops a knee so he can crank on the neck a bit. Powerslam gets two. Homicide tries to fight back but Joe is just too fat. Powerbomb is turned into an STF and into a crossface and into the Rings of Saturn, all by Joe. Homicide finally gets his foot on the ropes to break it up but that was kind of impressive. I think. Actually it wasn’t but it fits the submission aspect of Joe’s character.

Joe hammers away as the fans chant 187 again. I know Impact Zone fans are considered a little slow but they can’t even count to ten properly? Homicide comes back with some clotheslines and gets Joe down. Top rope dropkick sends Joe to the floor and there’s a tope con hilo to take Joe down even more.

Homicide and Taz nearly get into it but that goes nowhere. Neckbreaker gets two back in the ring for the champion. Diamond Cutter gets two. Gringo Killer (Vertebreaker) is blocked and Joe can’t quite get the Clutch. Ok so never mind yes he can and Homicide taps almost immediately. Some guy from the toughest place in the world.

Rating: B-. Pretty good here as both guys worked rather well out there. They probably fought a few dozen times in the indies so it’s pretty clear they know each other as well as possible. Better Homicide match than I remember him having more often than not so that’s a nice surprise. Not bad here at all.

Kurt goes to talk to Matt Morgan and doesn’t even knock. Angle tries to make a deal and Morgan agrees that it’s either him or Angle leaving with the title tonight.

We recap the Mafia vs. Team 3D. The Mafia more or less stole the titles from Beer Money. Team 3D complained about getting screwed out of everything (Bubba: “If I knew getting screwed felt this bad, I would have stayed a virgin.”) and therefore wanted a match. Don’t ask me how all of the tag titles worked at this time. With the Japanese belts out there it’s more confusing than an Egyptian restaurant menu.

Tag Titles: Scott Steiner/Booker T vs. Team 3D

Falls count anywhere here and they have two referees which is rather smart for once. Sharmell looks good here. Apparently it’s No DQ also, therefore making it a hardcore match. In a Russo company? I’M SHOCKED!!! Big staredown to start and the brawl begins. The fans want tables within ten seconds. Booker gets double teamed and the Mafia complains a lot.

Booker and Steiner yell at Hebner, the outside referee, and it’s time to head into the crowd. We go split screen and it’s one of those annoying ones that has about 30% of the screen devoted to the match and the rest is a big freaking TNA logo. I’ve never gotten why they do that. Is that for people that have bought all the PPV offerings for that night and flip through the channels to decide what to watch?

The races pair off and it’s a big brawl as you would expect from these guys. There’s the required ECW chant. To be fair though, three of these guys were in the original ECW so it’s hard to complain. Steiner gets two on Bubba off of I think a weapon shot. They’ve more or less dropped the split screen at this point, making it kind of hard to follow. I do however really like the falls count anywhere aspect as it means you don’t have to wait for them to get back to the ring for any drama.

Steiner dives off a balcony in the crowd onto Ray for two. Gee it was nice of Ray to stand there for a good ten seconds to wait on him to come crashing down on him like that. Ray and Steiner are at ringside now as are D-Von and Booker. I guess they can’t bare to be apart that long. Steiner gets two on Ray. The pairings haven’t switched for the entire match that I can remember.

The white guys get in the ring and a Steiner Line gets two. The fans still want tables. What’s Up to Steiner which probably doesn’t hurt that much due to the amount of steroids in him. It’s table time now and the fans are in a word really freaking happy with that decision. Steiner gets laid on one but here’s Booker for the save. The Mafia stands around FOREVER while D-Von is sitting on the ropes after being crotched.

The delay allows the Dudleys to set up the Doomsday Device through the table but Booker saves again, moving the table but the move hits like regular. Team 3D in control still here but it’s a Book End for Bubba through the table for two as he actually kicks out instead of having it saved. The Mafia in control now as things kind of grind to a halt. Scratch that as the Dudleys take over again. Back and forth match throughout so far.

Heel miscommunication lets D-Von get a belly to back on Steiner for two. Powerbomb out of the corner gets the same result with the same people. Axe kick misses D-Von and the 3D from 3D gets the pin on Booker, but at the same time Steiner rolls up Bubba and yep it’s a double pin. I was afraid of this. The threes went down at just about the same time which is rather helpful. We actually go to the video and the replay we see shows that those threes hit at the exact same time. The Mafia retain the belts and the fans aren’t exactly thrilled. WEAK finish as the video shows it was identical or at least way too close to call.

Rating: C-. Pretty good match but the ending really hurts it a lot. The fans chant BS during the highlight package which is very true. I mean dude, when EVER do they go to a replay to decide something in wrestling? Not a great brawl or anything but they did a lot of stuff right here. The ending crippled it though and there were a lot of dead spots in there that really hurt it.

Foley isn’t sure if he is ready for Nash or not. He did however get an extra $623 posing for pictures. Not really apparently but that’s the point of the feud. Nash wants the title because it brings him more money. Foley wants the title because wrestlers want to hold titles. I remember really wanting to see this match as the pairing is pretty interesting. Foley puts JB in charge of finding a barbed wire bat.

Recap of Nash vs. Foley which is what I just went over.

Legends Title: Kevin Nash vs. Mick Foley

Foley is champion and the Legends Title would evolve into the TV Title. I can’t believe it but the video package actually made me want to watch this again. Oh and Foley won the title from Nash in a tag match. Never been a fan of those but at least Foley pinned Nash for it. Foley waves at Nash just after the bell which is funny for some reason. Nash’s right hand is taped heavier than usual.

Surprisingly technical stuff to start as they lock up a few times. Naturally it turns into more of a brawl but that’s what these two likely should do. Foley hits a running knee lift but a double arm DDT can’t hit. There’s your first hard bump of the match as Foley gets kicked into the guardrail. They brawl outside and Nash takes over. The fans chant “over here” which is kind of a cool chant to me for some odd reason.

Chair shot by Nash hits post but Foley’s hits Big Sexy’s back. Foley tries the elbow off the apron but Nash gets the chair in to block it. Foley’s eye is busted now. Oh man that’s a bad one too. Nash drops some F Bombs and wisely fires jabs in at the eye. There’s blood on the camera which is kind of a cool visual. That’s a sick blood flow and in a very dangerous area too.

Half of Foley’s face is bloody and half isn’t. That’s a creepy/awesome look indeed. Foley says bring it on and actually fires back. A forearm puts Nash down and we get the Mankind rocking back and forth. Foley pulls his hair out as he’s all fired up now. That blood is flowing everywhere. BANG BANG as you can’t even see his eye anymore.

Nash’s forehead is busted a bit now too. Make that a lot now. That’s a GREAT looking cut. Ref is bumped and it’s barbed wire bat time. Tracy Brooks of all people comes out and the distraction is enough for Nash to hit a big boot and something we can’t see that wasn’t the powerbomb for the title.

Rating: C+. I liked it. This was a surprisingly good match here as these two actually had some chemistry. Fun match as their characters and philosophies were perfect opposites and the story made the match for the most part. The ending is fine for the most part and while it was kind of boring from an in ring match, it was still good I though. At least I liked it. Good thing I’m writing this too.

Post match Foley takes the bat to the head and Abyss comes out for the save with a bat of his own.

Sting isn’t worried about Kurt and Matt working together. He’ll never lose hope in the war against the Mafia. Does Sting do anything but go to war with heel factions?

We recap the triple threat. Morgan wanted in the Mafia so they used him as a lackey and then screwed him over. Morgan won a trilogy of matches with AJ to get the spot here. Angle implied that Morgan should help him keep the title and Morgan said no way.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Sting vs. Matt Morgan

To waste more time, everyone gets the camera shot of them coming to the ring and then a video about them. Big match intros waste another few minutes. I guess wrestling doesn’t matter yet. Angle is SKINNY here, maybe weighing 170. Morgan and Angle work together to start but Angle gets caught quickly by Sting, getting us down to one on one. Everyone on the floor now and the brawl is on.

Sting works over Morgan, sending him into the railing a few times. Morgan’s wife is here apparently. The Mafia takes over again and the beating continues. Morgan is all like I told you I’d help. Sting again fights them off and takes over for like the third time in this match. Both guys get splashes and Morgan is sent to the floor. Suplex gets two on Kurt who wakes up and drills Sting to take over again.

We talk about AJ not being here and how he has a major announcement on Impact which was to be his retirement until Sting stepped in to save the day. Back in the ring the Angle Slam is countered into a Scorpion attempt but Morgan makes the save. Slam gets two. Ankle lock is reversed and it’s Morgan vs. Sting again. There are the corner elbows and Morgan just drops him instead of hitting a side slam which gets two.

Fallaway slam hits as Kurt really shouldn’t be down this long due to a reversed ankle lock. Angle pulls the top rope down to send Morgan to the floor and the not-exactly-giant isn’t happy. Morgan says the deal is over and hits the Carbon Footprint to take down Kurt on the floor. Well at least he has a reason to be down now. Kurt claims a shoulder injury now. There’s no one to count the pin that Morgan has on Sting now and Matt isn’t pleased.

Scorpion Death Drop in the ring and now Hebner is right there. Does that make Morgan Bret Hart some how? Now Kurt is holding his neck. Make up your crazy mind already dude. Morgan takes Sting’s head off with the kick and Hebner is slow getting there again, only for Kurt to pull him out. “You screwed Matt!” Kurt brings in a chair and takes both guys down with chair shots, good for the pin on Morgan to retain.

Rating: C. Just a triple threat here as not a lot was really accomplished here. Morgan gets screwed over again and Kurt is still champion. Sting of course will keep fighting and that’s about it. The match was just ok and nothing special in the slightest. Not a horrible match or anything but nothing that you couldn’t see on any other show.

Overall Rating: D. There’s some decent stuff here and there but overall this just fell flat. It was ALL about the Mafia here and that’s not exactly the most enthralling formula for a PPV. This was certainly a B level PPV and it came off as one: nothing significant seems to have happened, despite both midcard titles changing hands. Nothing to see here as nothing was a particularly great match or even very good. Pretty weak show but not horrid or anything.

 

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Summerslam 2006
Date: August 20, 2006
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 16,168
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Joey Styles, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is an interesting show as a lot has changed since last year but WWE is still in the same kind of situation: the shows are coming and going and not a lot is changing. The shows aren’t bad, but there’s nothing that feels like required viewing. This year we have DX vs. the McMahons, Edge defending the Raw Title against Cena, Batista challenging King Booker for the Smackdown Title, Flair vs. Foley in an I Quit match, Hogan vs. Randy Orton and the first ECW Title match in WWE PPV history. The card is stacked but nothing on here feels must see. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about DX taking over the company with their sophomoric jokes. The other matches get some lip service as well.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Guerrero claimed that Rey was leeching off the Guerrero name, which he totally was but Guerrero is still playing the heel here. We get videos on Eddie’s relationships with both Rey and Chavo, conveniently ignoring Rey vs. Eddie from last year. Apparently Chavo is coming out of retirement for one night only. The brawl is on fast and JBL is WAY into it already. Chavo hits a quick uppercut and catches a standing Lionsault into a powerslam position, only to have Rey armdrag him out to the floor.

Mysterio misses a plancha to the floor and Chavo hits a big dive of his own to take over. Chavo shouts that it’s his blood instead of Rey’s as JBL calls this the biggest comeback since the resurrection. Rey charges into the corner but Chavo drops him face first onto the buckle to put him down again. Chavo does the Eddie dance, drawing the crowd into the Eddie chant. The masked dude is knocked to the floor and then face first into the buckle to keep him on defense.

Chavo puts him on the top rope and tries to powerbomb Rey to the floor but Rey fights out to avoid death. They facejam each other down to the mat and both guys are in trouble. Back up and Rey gets two off a springboard cross body. A hard kick to the head gets the same for Rey before he hurricanranas Chavo into the 619. The seated senton misses and Mysterio hurricanranas both guys out to the floor.

Chavo takes control and sends Rey back in but here’s Vickie to yell at him. Rey dives off the apron with something the camera misses to take out Chavo and we head back inside. Chavo hits two of the Three Amigos as Vickie is screeching at them to stop fighting. Rey hits the Three Amigos and goes up top but Vickie keeps shouting at him to stop before accidentally crotching him down. Chavo hits a brainbuster and the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C+. The match was entertaining enough but the bleeding dry of Eddie’s corpse is well beyond old here. Seriously, they were fighting over who was really defending Eddie’s honor. It was fun stuff but the Vickie screeching is getting already getting annoying. She’s been around seven years. How is that possible?

Booker is holding the title with a maniacal look in his eyes. He rants in a British accent for a bit and says he and Sharmell are the most powerful couple in wrestling. This brings in Edge and Lita who just happened to be standing off camera when Booker said that. They debate how important they are and make a wager: if Booker loses he has to be Edge’s servant but if Edge loses he has to kiss Booker’s feet.

This is a good example of what I mean when I talk about the show looking too structured. Why were Edge and Lita right there to respond to those comments? It comes off as so fake and set up in advance that it kills whatever air of realism the show has. Have Booker say they’re the powerful couple, then have Edge and Lita come in later in the show. Same amount of time spent, same result, doesn’t look forced. Why is this so complicated?

ECW Title: Big Show vs. Sabu

Big Show is defending after Sabu beat Van Dam in a ladder match this past week. It’s extreme rules, which is a rarity for these title matches anymore. Sabu starts fast by swinging a chair and gets a quick one count off the Arabian Facebuster. The chair is set up in the middle of the ring but Big Show drops Sabu face first onto the steel. Big Show crushes the chair with his boot and chops Sabu down with ease.

We hit an early bearhug but Sabu pokes the eyes to escape. A springboard is caught in a fallaway slam from Big Show to send Sabu to the outside. The small one grabs a chair to blast Show in the face before dropkicking it into Show’s face. Sabu it too banged up to immediately cover so it’s only a one count. With nothing else working, Sabu loads up a table in the corner and hits a tornado DDT for no cover.

Sabu finally knocks him through the table off a springboard from the chair but Show pops up and electric chairs Sabu down. A Vader Bomb crushes Sabu and Show brings in two sets of steps. He bridges a table across them but his chokeslam is countered into a DDT through the table. Sabu sets up another table but charges into a chokeslam through it for the pin.

Rating: D. I don’t care. Seriously that’s the first thing that came to my head. This was less than nine minutes and the ending was never in double at all. At least a third of the match was spent setting up the next spot, especially near the end. The early days of WWECW with the old ECW guys were just torture to get through as it was clearly trying to recreate magic and it wasn’t anything of note. Dull match here and it would be several months before ECW picked up.

Layla won the Diva Search earlier this week.

The Divas welcome Layla to the company. These stupid girl power segments got old fast. Everyone gets on her and then say they’re all kidding. Layla is dragged into the shower and spanked for her initiation. Everyone is clothed so this goes nowhere.

We recap Hogan vs. Orton. Hogan is a legend, Orton is the legend killer, I think you can do the math. There was a stupid bit with Orton hitting on Brooke thrown in which went nowhere.

Randy Orton vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan has a bad leg coming in, meaning he’s perfectly normal. Hulk easily shoves Orton down out of lockup to start before running him down with a shoulder block. The bandana goes into Orton’s face before Randy grabs a headlock. Hogan fights out with a top wristlock as we’re still going very slowly so far, much to Hogan’s liking. Randy finally gets in some shots to the face to put Hogan down, thereby making him the biggest heel in the world.

Hogan fights Orton off in the corner and sends him into the buckle. Almost all Hogan so far which continues as Hogan pounds down right hands in the corner. He bites Randy’s forehead and pokes him in the eye to keep us firmly in the mid-80s. Hogan rakes his back and pounds away on the mat before threatening the referee with a right hand. Orton holds the ropes on an Irish whip and pulls Hogan to the mat to work on the knee.

Back in and Orton cannonballs down on the leg before doing a short form of the circle stomp. A chop block puts Hulk down again but he ducks/collapses to avoid a high cross body. Hogan pounds away but misses the big boot, allowing Orton to dropkick him down. The RKO connects for three but Hogan’s foot was on the ropes. Orton argues with the referee, Hulk Hulks Up and the legdrop ends it.

Rating: D. Well let’s see: the booking was out of the 80s, Hogan broke a sweat for maybe a minute, and Orton was pinned clean by a 50+ year old man in about eleven minutes. This is the opposite of last year with Shawn as Michaels didn’t have much to gain from a win. Orton on the other hand could have ridden this win for months, but instead we get Hogan’s last WWE match (which you couldn’t have known at the time) as a tribute to him, complete with the 1985 formula all over again. Not a fan of this but you had to know it was coming.

We look at a big party yesterday which is exactly what you would think it was. This was also the announcement for WWE 24/7, which was nowhere near as cool as it sounded.

Melina isn’t sure if Foley can beat Flair but he freaks out on her, saying he’ll do it. This was an awkward on screen relationship.

Ric Flair vs. Mick Foley

In something else that was kind of awkward, these two traded shots at each other in their books with Foley saying Flair wrestled the same match for years and Flair calling Foley a glorified stunt man. Tonight is an I Quit match and it’s all about respect. Foley jumps Flair in the corner and pounds away before hitting the running knee to the head. A running trashcan shot to the head has Flair in early trouble and it’s already Socko time. Flair won’t give up so Foley says he’ll suffer.

Foley wraps barbed wire around the sock but Flair grabs Mick’s crotch to block it. We’re not even two minutes into this and we’ve already had a crotch grab. A low blow puts Mick down and Flair wraps the barbed wire sock around his hand for some chops. Ric sends Foley knees first into the steps but Foley rams him into the announce table to get a breather. Foley pulls out a barbed wire board and blasts Flair in the back with it to make Naitch scream.

We head inside again and the fans want fire. Flair is busted open (duh) so Foley rubs the barbed wire over the cut for good measure. A barbed wire board to the head and the shoulder have Flair in even more trouble but he tells Foley to kiss something instead of quitting. Foley spreads out the thumbtacks and slams Ric down onto them in a scary looking but perfectly safe spot. Think about it: the tacks are what, half an inch long? All they’re going to go into is fat so while it’ll hurt, there’s no real danger to the spot. It’s like being stung by a bunch of bees.

Anyway Flair still won’t quit so Foley brings in the barbed wire ball bat to cut at Flair’s head even more. Flair hits his second low blow to escape before sending him shoulder first into the post. The ball bat to the shoulder has Foley in big trouble as Ric goes into old school brawler mode. Foley won’t quit so Flair threatens to kill him by cutting out his heart.

A third low blow has Foley on the apron, allowing for Ric to knock him off the apron and onto the concrete. Foley is apparently out cold so medics and Melina come out to check on him. The trainer says it’s over and the bell rings. That’s not good enough for Flair though and he sends Foley back in to rub the ball bat over Foley’s face again. He runs the barbed wire over Mick’s unconscious eyes and Melina throws in the towel to end it. Wait that’s STILL not good enough for Flair because Foley has to say it. Ric threatens Melina with the ball bat and Foley quits to save her.

Rating: B. This was one heck of a bloodbath until Melina had to get involved. I get that they didn’t want either guy to quit but dang man, did we really need Melina out there? Like I said it never was a good fit on screen and would end with Melina screwing over Foley for no apparent reason. Good match, but Flair flat out doesn’t need to be doing this at his age.

Vince, Shane and Armando Alejandro Estrada (Umaga’s manager) make fun of Foley until Vince asks if they have Umaga’s support tonight. Armando says si.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. King Booker

Booker is defending and Batista never lost the title, only being stripped due to injury. This is his first major match since December/January. Booker’s wife Sharmell reaches Vickie levels of annoying by saying ALL HAIL KING BOOKER about 18 times on the way to the ring. Feeling out process to start with Booker taking him into the corner and slapping him across the face. Batista easily shoves him across the ring to prove a point as things are starting slowly.

The champion grabs a headlock but completely misses a spin kick, allowing Batista to counter into a powerslam for two. Booker tries to bail with Sharmell but Batista doesn’t even let him get close. Back in and Booker blocks a Batista Bomb by snapping Batista’s neck across the ropes to take over. We hit a chinlock less than four minutes in and the fans aren’t pleased. Back up and Batista hits a sloppy belly to belly suplex for two but Sharmell sends in the scepter for a cheap shot, giving Booker more control.

Booker goes after the arm, which is the injury that kept Batista on the shelf for so long. That makes too much sense though so it’s off to a regular chinlock. Batista finally gets up and crotches Booker on the top before hitting some weak clotheslines. They head to the floor with Booker sending him into the barricade to take over. A missile dropkick gets two on Big Dave but the ax kick misses. Batista Jackhammers him down for two and busts out a full nelson slam of all things. He loads up the Batista Bomb and Sharmell comes in for the lame DQ.

Rating: D. Well at least it wasn’t that long. These two had horrible chemistry together so of course they had two more PPV matches until Batista finally took the title at Survivor Series. The ending sucked, the match sucked, Batista looked as slow as Hogan out there, and the fans were bored by the match. Sounds like it needs a sequel to me.

Post match Batista “destroys” Booker, which translates to him not being able to get him up for a Batista Bomb until Booker clearly pulls himself up. Again, this feud went on for three more months.

Jeff Hardy is coming back tomorrow. Why bother announcing it when you can have a big surprise like that?

DX talks to someone we can’t see. They tell him how much Vince praised Umaga, calling him the REAL monster in WWE. They leave and whoever was in there bangs on the door.

We recap DX vs. the McMahons. This feud started with Shawn vs. Vince but HBK recruited HHH to help him out. DX destroyed a bunch of Vince’s stuff and made fun of him, basically getting on the nerves of everyone over 17 years old. Vince and Shane brought in everyone imaginable to help them but DX dispatched them easily because they’re both Hall of Famers and they were fighting jobbers to the stars. Umaga was the only one who could beat them one on one, making those matches the only interesting parts of the entire feud.

D-Generation X vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon

Vince and Shane head back to the entrance and send out the Spirit Squad as the first line of defense. Superkicks, backdrops and Pedigrees abound, getting rid of the Raw Tag Champions (the cheerleaders) in less than fifteen seconds. DX beat the Spirit Squad about five times in this whole thing but never won the tag titles. I never quite got why.

Next up are Kennedy, Finlay and Regal who do a bit better thanks to Finlay’s club but only last about 40 seconds. Now it’s Big Show to really challenge DX. Why all nine guys didn’t come out at once is never really addressed. The three midcarders take down HHH on the floor, leaving Shawn alone with Show. A cobra clutch backbreaker and the Log Roll knock Shawn silly as HHH is destroyed. Now the McMahons come to the ring and there’s the opening bell.

Vince slams Shawn down to start and it’s off to Shane for some dancing. He peppers Shawn with left jabs and hits a big right cross to puts him down. HHH is still down from a chokeslam through the announce table. Vince comes back in for something like a clothesline to the ribs and fires off elbows in the corner. A double back elbow puts Shawn down and HHH is finally remembering what planet he’s on. Shane of course slides to the floor to knock him down again, which is pretty smart.

Shane hits a backbreaker on Michaels and it’s back to Papa McMahon. There’s a double elbow but HHH is on his feet. Shane, again, wisely baseball slides him onto the other announce table. The McMahons bust out the Demolition Decapitation and the Hart Attack of all things, complete with signature Bret pose. They even hit a bad looking Doomsday Device but Shawn pops up at two and fires off right hands. Vince sneaks in with a shot to the back and down goes HBK again. Shawn scores with a double clothesline and everyone is down.

HHH is back up on the apron and actually takes the hot tag. Adrenaline kicks in and house is cleaned with a high knee and a neckbreaker to Shane. Clotheslines take both McMahons down and there’s a spinebuster for the young one. Shawn drops the elbow on Vince and hits a Cactus Clothesline to take Shane out.

Here’s Umaga to superkick Shawn and hit a quick Samoan Spike to HHH. This brings out Kane as the guy DX was talking to so he can fight Umaga to the back. Shane can only get two on the Game so Vince punches the referee. Shane loads up a Coast to Coast but Shawn superkicks him out of the air. A trashcan shot to Vince sets up Sweet Chin Music and the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: B-. That’s about as high as they can get and there’s nothing wrong with that. The booking was as smart as you could get since there might not be two guys in the company that could be a legitimate threat to DX in a straight match so making it eleven on two to start was all they could do. The rest of the match is your usual tag team formula match and that’s all they could do here. The fans popped for the ending too so I can’t complain much.

Wrestlemania 23 is in Detroit.

We recap Edge vs. Cena. Edge won MITB last year at Wrestlemania and cashed in on Cena at New Year’s Revolution nine months later. After some title trading with Van Dam and Cena, Edge wound up with the belt on Raw, setting up the one on one showdown here tonight.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Cena is the hometown boy tonight. If Edge gets disqualified he loses the title. Cena charges him into the corner and the booing begins. John pounds away and gets one off a back elbow and a belly to belly suplex. Edge avoids a charge to send Cena shoulder first into the post and out to the floor. It’s kind of early for that spot. Back in and Edge beats on Cena with basic strikes before knocking him off the apron and into the barricade.

Cena makes it back in at nine but Edge immediately drops an elbow on his back for two more. John makes a comeback with right hands as the fans are booing even louder now. A quick fisherman’s suplex gets two on Edge but he sends Cena over the top and out to the floor for the third time. Back in again and Cena misses a cross body to put him down again. Why it puts Edge down as well isn’t clear.

We hit the chinlock for a good while until Cena breaks the hold with pure power. Cena hits a knee to the chest but walks into a big boot for two. Edge goes up top and fights off Cena so he can hit a top rope clothesline for two. Off to a camel clutch but Cena again powers out of it. Both guys are down so Lita sends in a chair. Edge picks it up before throwing it down out of fear in a cute bit. Cena initiates his finishing sequence but the FU is countered into the Impaler for two.

Edge goes up again but has to escape the FU off the ropes into an electric chair but Cena gets two off a victory roll. A middle rope cross body is rolled through into the FU but a Lita distraction makes Cena drop Edge. The champion is sent into his chick and Cena gets a close two off a rollup. A double clothesline puts both guys down until Edge rolls over for two.

The Canadian is up first but the spear is countered into the STFU. Lita tries to come in with the belt but Edge waves her off and gets the rope. The referee has to drag Cena off, allowing Lita to load up brass knuckles on Edge’s hand. Cena grabs the FU anyway but Lita comes in, only to be thrown on top of Edge in a double FU. How that isn’t a DQ isn’t clear but Cena flips her to the mat, allowing Edge to knock him out with the knuckles to retain the title.

Rating: B-. This took some time to get going but the ending was great. Edge winning is an interesting concept and they would go with the same idea next month when Cena beat Edge in Edge’s signature match in his hometown. The match wasn’t all that good though as it felt like they were just killing time until the end, which makes for a dull match.

Overall Rating: C. Right in the middle is about perfect here as there are almost equal amounts of good and bad. The interesting things about this show are the match lengths. Usually there are some very short matches and one or two longer ones. Here there’s only one match under nine minutes and the longest is the main event which isn’t even sixteen. That makes for a show where there’s nothing huge to save the bad stuff and everything is almost equal in length, meaning you can weigh almost everything the same. The show is definitely watchable but skip Booker vs. Batista.

Ratings Comparison

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Big Show vs. Sabu

Original: C

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: D

Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair

Original: B-

Redo: B

Batista vs. King Booker

Original: D

Redo: D

Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. D-Generation X

Original: C-

Redo: B-

Edge vs. John Cena

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: C

Other than Hogan, not a lot changes here. This show pretty much is what it is.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/09/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2006-hogan-and-dx-are-in-charge-are-we-in-1998/

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