Impact Wrestling
Date: February 3, 2022
Location: Charles Dodge Center, Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We are on the way to No Surrender and things are starting to pick up. The main event is already set with W. Morrissey getting his World Title shot against Moose, but there is another major match on the card in a different way. The other major match will see a team of Impact wrestlers facing off with Honor No More, which should boost the story that much more. Other than that, the Bullet Club seems to be here again. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Digital Media Title: Matt Cardona vs. Jordynne Grace

Cardona is challenging and shoves Grace around a few times to start, which has Grace a bit surprised. Grace’s running shoulders don’t do much good so she trips Cardona down instead. Cardona misses a neckbreaker but Grace misses a Vader bomb, allowing Cardona to suplex her into the corner. A regular suplex drops Grace again and there’s a hard whip into the corner. Some elbows miss as Cardona doesn’t seem to want to go after her, only to hit a slightly reluctant clothesline.

Grace is right back with a spinebuster and it’s time to start in on Cardona’s leg. A kick to the leg takes Cardona down and now the Vader Bomb connects for two. Back up and Cardona kicks her in the face as the reluctance is starting to go away. The Reboot connects for two and there’s the shocked kickout face. Grace gets in a desperation kick to the floor, with Cardona winding up in front of the title. Cardona picks it up but gets it taken away, allowing him to blast Grace with a chair instead. Radio Silence gives Cardona the pin and the title at 9:51.

Rating: C+. This was a tricky balance to figure out but they managed to pull it off well enough. They had to come up with a way to make Grace look strong, have Cardona look unwilling to bring everything he could and then do the title change in the end. Putting all of that together is pretty impressive and they made it work out well here. Also, Cardona going heel and winning the title that he pioneered so long ago is a great thing.

W. Morrissey hunts for and finds the Learning Tree. Scott D’Amore and security breaks it up though and Morrissey gets Brian Myers next week, No DQ, just as he wants.

No Surrender/tonight’s rundown.

Jonah vs. Crazzy Steve

The rest of Decay is here with Steve. Jonah shoves him down to start and grabs a choke but Steve bites his way to freedom. That’s not cool with Jonah, who sends him flying with a fireman’s carry toss. The Tsunami finishes Steve at 2:06. Total dominance.

Post match another Tsunami is loaded up but Black Taurus gets in the way.

Matt Cardona is fired up about his win but is asked about what Chelsea Green will think. Cardona says to ask Jonathan Gresham what it’s like to be married to a loser (Gresham is Jordynne Grace’s husband).

Madison Rayne yells at Kaleb With A K when the IInspiration comes in. They have a present for him: a photo of the two of them. I’ve heard worse.

Steve Maclin vs. Jonathan Gresham

Non-title, Ian Riccaboni is on commentary and Cary Silkin is watching. Maclin drives him into the corner to start but Gresham goes for the knee to escape. A headlock takeover has Maclin down and he spins over Maclin to put it on again. More headlocking keeps Maclin in trouble and a crucifix gives Gresham two. Maclin drives him throat first into the middle rope for the escape though and we take a break.

Back with Maclin dropping a knee on the ribs before running him over with an elbow to the face. The Boston crab is broken up though and the slugout is on. Gresham actually gets the better of things but a springboard moonsault press is countered into a powerslam. Maclin gets frustrated and hammers away in the ropes, which is enough for the DQ at 11:12.

Rating: C+. Gresham continues to work well with just about anyone and that is the kind of person that is very valuable to have. The fact that you forget he is a smaller guy because his technical wrestling is so strong is all the more impressive. Maclin has cooled off a good bit, but he is hardly falling through the floor. Pretty good match too.

Post match Maclin puts Gresham in the Boston crab for the tap but here is Honor No More for the beatdown. The team tries to get Gresham to join them but he leaves alone.

Josh Alexander vs. Vincent

The rest of Honor No More is here. Alexander elbows him in the face to start and they’re on the floor in a hurry. Some distractions let Vincent get in a cheap shot on Alexander and it’s a running basement Downward Spiral inside. Some elbows set up a chinlock but Alexander is up pretty quickly. That gets broken up as well, with Vincent switching over to a guillotine choke.

Alexander hits a hard German suplex for two and the fans are way behind him. Vincent hides behind the referee and the distraction lets him hit a Russian legsweep. Redrum only hits knees though and it’s an ankle lock to put Vincent in more trouble. Honor No More offers a distraction so Vincent can get in a rollup for two of his own. Cue the rest of Impact’s No Surrender team to take out Honor No More, leaving Alexander to take out Vincent’s leg. The ankle lock gives Alexander the win at 8:56.

Rating: C. This was the way the match should have gone as Vincent was one of the lower names on the Honor No More lineup and he was against one of the hottest Impact stars in the last year. They didn’t have any other choice with this one and it isn’t like Vincent is going to be hurt by the loss. No Surrender is all that matter these days and now we should be in for a good showdown.

Post match Kenny King runs in to lay out Alexander and join Honor No More.

W. Morrissey finds Moose and jumps him in the back. He even puts Moose’s head in the freezer and slams the door on it over and over. That’s serious.

Honor No More is here to take over and are ready to fight at No Surrender.

John Skyler vs. Bhupinder Gujjar

Skyler runs him over with a shoulder to start but Gujjar kicks the leg out to put Skyler on the apron. A Russian legsweep sets up a quickly broken chinlock with Gujjar hitting a powerslam. Gujjar’s slingshot elbow gets two but Skyler catches him on the middle rope. That’s broken up though and a middle rope spear gives Gujjar the pin at 3:48.

Rating: C-. You had two people and they had a match. There wasn’t much to see here, though Gujjar’s hair flip was rather good. This was designed to introduce us to Gujjar and he did well enough, but how much is there to get out of a cold match between two pretty low level names?

Post match Raj Singh comes out to applaud Gujjar, who walks off on his own.

We see a clip of Mickie James in the Royal Rumble, which is still bizarre to see around here.

Mickie James is happy with what she did but here is Tasha Steelz to interrupt. Steelz suggests, in song, that James is going to lose the title. James says she talks too much and here is Chelsea Green to stare down Steelz and Savannah Evans. James gives her a match next week.

Gisele Shaw is still coming.

Masha Slamovich vs. Kaci Lennox

Slamovich kicks her in the face to start and the Russian Death Device (scoop brainbuster) finishes at 43 seconds.

Deonna Purrazzo talks about storming out of the State of the Knockouts division last week because she IS the state of the Knockouts division. She talks about some of her accomplishments and needs an audience, so next week, it’s an open challenge for either of her titles.

Here’s what’s coming next week/at No Surrender.

Bullet Club vs. Mike Bailey/Jake Something/Ace Austin/Madman Fulton

Chris Bey/Jay White/Guerrillas Of Destiny for the Club here. Bailey backs White into the corner to start so it’s Bey coming in for an exchange of flips. Bey takes Bailey into the corner so White can start stomping away as the Club starts taking turns on Bailey. A quick escape allows the tag off to Fulton, who is quickly double clotheslined out to the floor by the Guerrillas. Fulton is fine enough to pull Bey’s out of the air though and we take a break.

Back with Austin suplexing Bey for two and Fulton choking him in the corner. It’s back to Austin for a kick to the head in the corner, setting up a cartwheel moonsault for two. Bey manages to duck a springboard kick to the face though and comes back with a Superman forearm for a needed breather.

Austin isn’t about to let that happen though as he pulls Bey down, allowing Fulton to knock the rest of the Club off the apron. Bey kicks Austin in the face though and it’s off to Bailey vs. White. Some rapid fire kicks give Bailey two but White’s big Rock Bottom gets the same. The double tag brings in Tama Tonga to face Fulton, with the Guerrillas hitting the Magic Killer for two.

The Guerrillas get to wreck the rest of the team for a bonus but Bey’s frog splash hits Austin’s raised knees. Austin refuses to bring in Something, who finally just slaps Austin’s chest for the tag. House is cleaned for a bit but the Club gets the numbers advantage on Something. With the Club holding Something in place, the Art of Finesse finishes for Bey at 15:38.

Rating: B-. This got some time and felt like the Club got to pick apart the other team, who couldn’t get along in the first place. The Club is already feeling like a big deal, but this time around they don’t seem to be taking over the entire company, which tends to happen when they are in America. Austin and Fulton not liking Something is interesting, but Bailey continues to leave a bit to be desired.

Post match Violent By Design and the Good Brothers run in for the beatdown on the Club to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. There are a few things going on here, but the most important is that I want to see where these stories go. These stories are starting to make me want to see next week’s show and that is one of the best things that can be said about a wrestling show. Other than that, there are some good to pretty good matches, making this a rather easy two hours. Fairly solid show this week, and No Surrender is looking rather appealing.

Results
Matt Cardona b. Jordynne Grace – Radio Silence
Jonah b. Crazzy Steve – Tsunami
Jonathan Gresham b. Steve Maclin via DQ when Maclin attacked in the ropes
Josh Alexander b. Vincent – Ankle lock
Bhupinder Gujjar b. John Skyler – Middle rope spear
Masha Slamovich b. Kaci Lennox – Russian Death Device
Bullet Club b. Jake Something/Ace Austin/Mike Bailey/Madman Fulton – Art of Finesse to Something

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 3, 2007
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re actually taped this week as WWE is on its way to an international tour next week. Unforgiven is coming up later this month and we need a card, but there are going to be a few people missing. Late last week, a group of wrestlers were suspended for thirty days over connections with Signature Pharmacy, which had been linked to performance enhancing drugs.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

As a result, after this week, Charlie Haas, Edge, Gregory Helms, John Morrison, William Regal, Ken Kennedy, Umaga, Sho Funaki, Chris Masters, and Chavo Guerrero Jr. are going to be gone until next month. Booker T. was so adamant that he didn’t do anything that he gave notice and is gone. Eugene is gone as well, after not having a prescription for painkillers. In an unrelated note, Cryme Tyme is gone as well, albeit over issues with Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch and yelling at a referee. Things could be rather different for the next few weeks so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Randy Orton attacking a variety of people, including John Cena’s dad to end last week’s show. In case it wasn’t clear in the first place, of course you know this means war.

Opening sequence.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga

Umaga is defending and punches Hardy down to start fast. A kick to the face and a headbutt both drop Hardy again and there’s a chest first whip into the corner. Umaga superkicks him off the apron and we take a break. Back with Umaga grabbing the nerve hold and then nailing a Samoan drop.

The middle rope headbutt misses though and Hardy gets a much needed breather. Hardy forearms away and gets two off a baseball slide dropkick. The Whisper in the Wind gets two but Umaga is back with the swinging Rock Bottom for two of his own. Umaga goes up top but Hardy crotches him down….and gets the very fast pin for the title. Even Hardy is stunned as Umaga kicks him off and out to the floor.

Rating: C. Most of this match was a house show fight until the shock ending. They did a good job of making this feel like a squash until the underdog won off a fluke, giving it almost a Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna Wrestlemania X vibe. Umaga feels like he got caught slipping on a banana peel instead of taking a defeat, which lets him come back as a monster in a month. Hardy getting the title is always a fine way to go though and this was about as logical of a way out as they had.

Post match, Umaga breaks a lot of stuff.

Vince McMahon has a bunch of attorneys with him to deal with his families’ attorneys. Carlito, with a slightly less stupid looking (though still stupid looking) haircut, comes in and gets his singles match with HHH turned into a handicap match with Umaga on his side.

Maria is a bit worried about her match with Beth Phoenix, as set up by Santino Marella. Santino tells her not to worry, because he has something to get off his chest. Oh and he’ll protect her too. Maria doesn’t seem convinced.

William Regal tells a production assistant to send John Cena to him when Cena arrives. Melina pops up and whispers something to Regal about her, ahem, meeting with Vince McMahon. Regal calls her kinky and says she should be ashamed of herself. Stephanie and Linda McMahon show up to glare at Melina. Linda gets in a slap in slow motion and here is Ron Simmons for the catchphrase.

Maria vs. Beth Phoenix

Hold on though as first, Santino Marella says that he is going to beat up Ron Simmons as soon as his arm is better. He also calls the city a disgusting dump, but here is Sandman to interrupt. Santino says Sandman is jealous because Santino gets to make love to Maria, while Sandman only has his stick. Sandman canes him in the head and they go up the ramp, leaving Maria alone. This is completely edited off Peacock for whatever reason. As for the match, Beth throws Maria around with no trouble and finishes with a cradle suplex in less than a minute.

Post match, Beth says she is getting her Women’s Title shot at Unforgiven. Candice Michelle has never seen anything like her before and she beats up Maria again for a preview. Cue Candice for the save.

We see the aftermath of Randy Orton attacking John Cena’s father, including a nasty black eye.

Here is William Regal to recap Randy Orton attacking John Cena’s last week. As a result, Regal has given Orton the night off, but Orton is here via satellite. Orton makes it clear: Cena did this to himself and his father’s blood is on his hands. All Cena had to do was give Orton his rematch for the WWE Title, so does Cena want it now? Want it or not, Regal makes the match for Unforgiven.

Orton hopes Cena’s dad never forgives his son but here is Cena to no music. Cena comes to the ring and promptly beats the daylights out of Regal, including knocking him over the announcers’ table and putting him in the STFU. Referees finally make a late save but Regal is done.

Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

The winners get a Tag Team Title shot against Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch, on commentary, at Unforgiven. Kendrick and Haas start things off with Kendrick being in trouble on the technical side. A wristlock works a bit better and it’s London coming in to stay on Haas’ arm. Benjamin comes in for a gorilla press gutbuster to take over on London though and we hit the neck crank. Back up and London rams heads with Haas, allowing the crawling tag over to Kendrick. The fans get into things as Kendrick hits back to back dives on Haas and Benjamin. With Benjamin and London on the floor, Sliced Bread gives Kendrick the fast pin.

Rating: C+. London and Kendrick are valuable people to have on the roster as they can have a good match with anyone while getting the fans behind them. That should set them up as good #1 contenders and the match should be good enough. Haas and Benjamin continue to be fine opponents for anyone, as the tag division is starting to grow again. That being said, I do wonder if London and Kendrick were supposed to be Cryme Tyme.

Post match Cade and Murdoch get in the ring for what seems like some false sportsmanship.

William Regal is in an ambulance as Shane McMahon walks by.

Video on CM Punk, who is challenging for the ECW World Title tomorrow night.

Carlito tries to fire up Umaga by telling him that HHH was laughing at him for losing the Intercontinental Title.

Vince McMahon meets with his lawyers and asks about his money being secure. After seemingly making Coach GM in place of the injured William Regal, Vince fires a lawyer for suggesting he use a defensive strategy.

Here are Jillian Hall and Daivari, with the former saying she isn’t supposed to sing due having her wisdom teeth cut out but she’ll do it anyway! We get some Summer Lovin before it’s time for a tag match. This is also missing from Peacock.

Cody Rhodes/Mickie James vs. Daivari/Jillian Hall

The women start things off, with Jillian telling Mickie to avoid the teeth. Instead Mickie kicks her in the ribs and then in the face so it’s off to the men. Cody armdrags Daivari down into a few armbars but has to fight out of a chinlock. Daivari drops some elbows for two instead and the chinlock goes right back on. That’s broken up as well so Cody puts on a spinning toehold. Jillian tries a save but Mickie cuts her off, leaving Cody to hit a DDT for the pin.

Rating: C-. As has been the case since Cody’s push began, it isn’t about the match itself but rather Cody getting to establish himself. The good thing is that they have mixed it up a little bit, as he may be beating Daivari over and over, at least they are having it in different forms. It isn’t a huge push, but they’re going about it in a smart way.

Carlito/Umaga vs. HHH

Carlito throws the lefts at HHH to start but gets punched down for his efforts. HHH throws him down by the hair and then goes for Umaga but Carlito comes back in. Some double teaming is enough for the quick DQ.

Post match the big beatdown is on but Carlito grabs a chair, which HHH takes away and wrecks both of them (including several shots to Umaga’s head). The sledgehammer is brought in and HHH blasts Umaga in the head to bust him open. A big sledgehammer shot to the back of the head knocks Umaga cold and I’d assume it’ll take about thirty days for him to recover.

Unforgiven rundown.

Here are Vince McMahon and his attorneys to deal with the rest of the family. Vince knows this whole thing is about the money and everyone here wants a handout. Cue Linda McMahon, sans attorneys, to say she is the CEO of WWE so she has her own money. Thanks to Coach bringing all of those women out here to explain that Vince has had so many affairs, she can take him for everything he has. Vince tries to calm things down but here is Stephanie McMahon to interrupt.

Vince knows she’s the volatile one but they’ve had some great times together. He has a video for her looking at A Father’s Love (this could go so many different ways from Vince), which is him pummeling Linda and Stephanie over the years. Vince panics because it’s the wrong video, but HHH pops up on screen. HHH swears he had NOTHING to do with that. HHH: “Hi Steph.” That gets a smile from Stephanie, who thinks Vince should step down from his position as Chairman of the Board.

Now it’s Shane McMahon coming out to ask if he’s talking to Vince McMahon his father, or an arm swinging, death faking, egomaniacal lunatic. Shane thinks Vince needs to change in some way because this could all work out. Shane: “I always wanted a brother!” That gets a glare from Stephanie, but Vince says he never had any affairs. He was saying all of those things to make himself feel better and he only cheated on Linda ONE TIME. That was the woman who gave birth to the illegitimate son and Vince feels terrible about it. He gets on his knee to apologize but here is Mr. Kennedy to interrupt.

Kennedy says there are a lot of coincidences between himself and Vince and it just so happens that the son will be revealed next week in his hometown of Green Bay, Wisconsin. Kennedy flat out says he is Vince’s son, which Stephanie doesn’t buy. Hold on though, as Kennedy credits Vince for turning him into a WWE Superstar and then says his name loudly, with the MCMAHON at the end.

Vince hugs him, but here is a guy in a suit to say that he represents the mother of Vince’s illegitimate son. It is NOT Mr. Kennedy (darn that stupid pharmacy), but he does have a clue as to the son’s identity: Things Are Looking Up. Vince wants to know what that means to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a really weird show as the biggest issue came from having to deal with having to wrap up so many people all at once. The Kennedy deal was the big one, as not only is he gone, but now he has lost the spot in what was probably the biggest angle of his career. The rest of the show wasn’t very good either, but I would wonder how many things had to be changed late because of all of the suspensions. Not a good show, though there were some rather unique circumstances.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: January 27, 2022
Location: Charles Dodge Center, Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We continue on the road to No Surrender and now we know what we are going to be getting in the show’s main event. W. Morrissey will be challenging Moose for the World Title in what should be a heck of a hoss fight. Other than that, we have the continuing adventures of Honor No More, which at least now has a name. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Chris Bey vs. Jake Something

Bey dropkicks him into the corner at the bell but runs into a big backdrop. A right hand rocks Bey and it’s time to head outside. That means a face first drop onto the apron but Bey is right back with a positing. There’s a dive to the floor to drop Something again and a basement dropkick sends him into the corner. Something’s comeback is cut off with a neckbreaker and a superkick drops him for two. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Something fights up to plant him for a breather.

Back up and Bey’s running hurricanrana is countered into a heck of a sitout powerbomb for two. The spear misses in the corner though and Bey stomps him in the back. Bey kicks him in the head and hits a poisonrana for two more and they’re both down. A low superkick doesn’t do much good for Bey as Something is right back up to run him over hard. Bey goes up top but dives into the swinging Boss Man Slam to give Something the upset pin at 9:39.

Rating: B. That might be a bit high but I had a great time with this one. Bey can work well with anyone and this was Something’s best match to date as he was hanging in there move for move. The ending caught me by surprise too as you wouldn’t expect Something to pick up this kind of a win. Heck of a match here and I had a lot of fun with it.

Post match the Guerrillas of Destiny run in and beat Something down. Mike Bailey runs in for the save but Jay White returns and takes him down. The Guerrillas say they’re coming for the Tag Team Titles as New Japan is here (again).

Honor No More is in the crowd so here are a bunch of Impact wrestlers to tell security to let them in the ring. Scott D’Amore comes in to say these guys don’t represent Ring of Honor because they don’t even work there anymore. People like Jonathan Gresham represent Ring of Honor but Maria says they just want an opportunity. Rhino wants to give them an opportunity at a beating so D’Amore makes a match for No Surrender, with Honor No More’s futures around here on the line. We can even have a preview tonight with PCO vs. Chris Sabin.

Madison Rayne tells Kaleb With A K to not screw up during tonight’s scouting mission against the IInspiration.

Scott D’Amore has Honor No More stay in a private locker room….which happens to be a storage room. Former Ring of Honor owner Cary Silkin comes in and doesn’t seem pleased with these people. D’Amore and Silkin leave together.

Kaleb With A K/Madison Rayne vs. IInspiration

Non-title because Tenille Dashwood can’t be here. Cassie armdrags Madison down to start and a headscissors sends Madison over to Kaleb With A K (in a neck brace). That means another armdrag but Kaleb With A K blocks another one, allowing the tag to Jesse. The IInspiration kicks Kaleb With A K down but Madison offers a distraction so he can superkick Cassie down.

We take a break and come back with Rayne elbowing Cassie in the face for two. That doesn’t last long as Cassie gets over for the tag to Jesse, who hits a reverse DDT for two on Madison. Kaleb With A K comes in off a blind tag and flips Jesse down so it’s back to Cassie. Everything breaks down and Cassie reverses Kaleb With A K’s powerbomb into a sunset flip for the pin at 11:12.

Rating: C. It’s so strange to see the IInspriation as faces but it’s even stranger to see them doing well in the roles. This was a good way to go with the team pinning the goofy manager and that’s all they should have done. It says a lot that the IInfluence vs. the IInspiration is such a showdown but I do kind of want to see the match, so well done.

Jake Something thanks Mike Bailey for having his back but here are Ace Austin and Madman Fulton to check on Bailey. A teamup against the Bullet Club is suggested but Austin isn’t sure. Gail Kim comes in and she certainly is sure.

The Quintessential Diva, Gisele Shaw, is coming.

The Good Brothers tell Violent By Design about the Bullet Club but Violent By Design don’t see that being their problem. The Brothers want to kill the Club that they created and say it gets Violent By Design closer to the titles. That gets Violent By Design’s attention so they’re in.

The Knockouts are around the ring and Gail Kim introduces Mickie James for a State of the Knockouts Address. Mickie is honored to be out here in front of everyone here because the Knockouts division has never been better. She puts over the other champions and talks about how awesome it was to have a Knockouts Ultimate X match.

Then there is Deonna Purrazzo, who might be the worst human she has ever been in the ring with, but at worst she is the third best Knockouts Champion ever. That is too far for Purrazzo, who thinks this is a waste of time because she knows she is the greatest of all time. Purrazzo leaves, which Mickie says proves her point.

In two days, herstory will be made again when a Knockouts Champion is going to be in the Royal Rumble and go on to Wrestlemania to set up a champion vs. champion match. Chelsea Green gets in the ring to praise James and goes over her resume. She wants the first shot but here are Tasha Steelz and Savannah Evans to say no one cares about Green.

Steelz brags about how great she is and says she’ll be taking the title at No Surrender. She hits Mickie in the ribs with the X and the big beatdown is on with Mickie and Chelsea cleaning the ring. This was a long setup for a reminder that James is in the Rumble and that Steelz is still coming for the title.

Steve Maclin is upset that he lost to Jonathan Gresham last week in a Pure Rules match. He throws the interviewer out but Gresham comes up, saying Maclin can have a non-title match next week without Pure Rules.

We look at Jordynne Grace successfully defending the Digital Media Title at Terminus.

Grace will give Matt Cardona a shot at the Digital Media Title. Cardona is a pioneer in this area, but that was back when MySpace was a thing. He can have his shot, but don’t go crying about it on Live Journal.

Here is Brian Myers with the Learning Tree, now with several new recruits.

W. Morrissey vs. Learning Tree

There are nine people for the Learning Tree and the destruction is on in a hurry, with some people being thrown over the top onto others. A powerbomb sends one of them onto VSK to give Morrissey the pin at 2:35.

Post match, Brian Myers goes after Morrissey but it’s Moose running in to jump Morrissey as well. The Learning Tree comes back in but gets cleared out, allowing Moose to spear Morrissey down.

Raj Singh has a new protege for next week but an unimpressed John Skyler pops up. Skyler will take on said protege next week.

Johnny Swinger vs. Jonah

This is the result of Swinger running his mouth earlier (I’m shocked too). Swinger’s single leg doesn’t work as Dan Lambert is watching. Jonah throws him down, this a backsplash, and finishes with the Tsunami at 1:17.

Post match here is Decay to check on Swinger and stare at Jonah. That’s a weird way to go.

Here’s what’s coming at various shows.

PCO vs. Chris Sabin

Good thing Honor No More already has a tron video. The rest of the team is here with PCO so Sabin’s friends come out with him as well. PCO drives him into the corner for a shot to the face but Sabin isn’t having that. He is however having a drive right back into the corner as PCO hammers him down again without much trouble. Sabin’s arm is sent into the buckle a few times but he fights back anyway. Honor No More trips him down so Eddie Edwards does the same to PCO, meaning the Impact guys are out.

We take a break and come back with Sabin raining down right hands in the corner but PCO tosses him outside with ease. The running flipping suicide dive takes Sabin down on the floor again. PCO makes it worse with a posting and there’s the big flip dive off the top to the apron.

Back in and a DDT plants Sabin again but the PCOsault misses. Sabin manages a middle rope dropkick and PCO gets knocked to the floor. That means a suicide dive from Sabin and a high crossbody gets two back inside. A side slam plants Sabin but he gets his knees up to block another PCOsault attempt. Sabin has to deal with Honor No More though and PCO grabs a Bubba Bomb for the pin at 15:15.

Rating: B-. That’s the only way this match could have gone and it was an entertaining path to the correct ending. You can’t have Honor No More lose so early in their run and it isn’t like Sabin is going to be hurt by taking a fall after interference from the rest of the team. No Surrender shouldn’t be that big of a surprise either, but it’s nice to see how things are going on the way there.

Post match the Impact guys come back out and the big brawl is on. Josh Alexander gets Vincent in the ankle lock but a save is made to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Rather good show this week as they built things up, continued some stories and had solid action throughout the night. There are things going on here that I want to see and for the first time in the better part of ever, I’m looking forward to what Impact is doing on more than one front. Well done, and the Honor No More stuff is keeping my interest above all else.

Results
Jake Something b. Chris Bey – Swinging Boss Man Slam
IInspiration b. Kaleb With A K/Madison Rayne – Sunset flip to Kaleb With A K
W. Morrissey b. Learning Tree – Double pin
Jonah b. Johnny Swinger – Tsunami
PCO b. Chris Sabin – Bubba Bomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Impact Wrestling
Date: January 20, 2022
Location: Bomb Factory, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Tom Hannifan

The march to No Surrender is on and that means it is time to start setting up a card. Impact continues to be doing fairly well, and the question now is what is next for Moose and the World Title. By that, I mean getting to defend against W. Morrissey. For once I’m actually curious to see how things are going here and that is nice to be able to say, at least partially because of the Ring of Honor invasion. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Tasha Steelz vs. Chelsea Green

Mickie James is on commentary and Savannah Evans is here with Steelz. Green sends her into the corner to start but gets run over, allowing Steelz to hammer away. Some shouting at Mickie doesn’t seem to cause Steelz too many problems but Green blocks the crucifix bomb. A jumping cutter drops Green for two but she’s right back up with a lifting Downward Spiral for her own near fall. Back up and Steelz hits a crucifix bomb for the fast pin at 4:29.

Rating: C-. This was ok enough but it’s a little hard to buy Steelz as some big threat to James and the title. Having her beat Green, and probably some more women going forward, would be a good idea, but you’re only going to get so far with half of a long term tag wrestler. Also, I wouldn’t have bet on Green losing clean in less than five minutes though either, as she is usually presented as a pretty big deal.

Post match Steelz says it was nice for Mickie to retain the title at Hard To Kill but now it’s time to get savage. Spoiler alert: she’s going to make Mickie a failure. She’s going to send Mickie back to Empower a failure (Mickie: “Someone is mad she wasn’t booked.”) and she is going to send Mickie back to her son as a failure. That gets Mickie up but Evans gets in her way. Mickie gets in her face and the fight is on until Evans breaks it up. Green makes a save though and house is cleaned, likely setting up a tag match next week.

We look at Jordynne Grace retaining the Digital Media Title on BTI but Matt Cardona interrupted and seemed to be the next challenger.

Cardona says he didn’t win the World Title but there are other titles he can win. He invented the Internet Title so now he wants the World Wide Web Title. That’s a challenge.

Video on Charlie Haas, mainly featuring clips from his time in Ring of Honor.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

Influence vs. Decay

Kaleb With A K is here with Influence, who jump Decay before the bell. Rosemary is down and holding her shoulder as Kaleb With A K takes the Influence’s pictures. Rosemary tells Havok to go it alone though and that seems to be the case.

Influence vs. Havok

Kaleb With A K joins commentary as the Influence double teams Havok down in the corner. The stomping ensues but Havok flips Rayne off her shoulders. A slam is broken up as Rayne crossbodies both of them at once for a big crash. The double Stroke finishes Havok at 3:34.

Rating: C-. This seems to be fallout from Rosemary getting hurt at Hard To Kill, as there wasn’t much else that could be done for her here. I’m not sure how long she is going to be out, but hopefully it isn’t that serious of an injury. At the same time, the Influence is on their way to a Knockouts Tag Team Title match against the IInspiration so they should be going over Havok, or even a full strength Decay.

The IInspiration pops up to say their star power will outshine Tenille Dashwood, who has a partner who retires every year. The shoes the Influence are trying to feel are three times too big.

We look at the King’s Daughter, the movie that is sponsoring the show.

Ace Austin and Madman Fulton come in to see Speedball Mike Bailey and suggest that he makes the right kind of friends. Johnny Bravo makes a random cameo and Ace leaves Bailey with a playing card.

Learning Tree vs. W. Morrissey

Brian Myers is on commentary. They charge at Morrissey and get hit in the face for their efforts. A chokeslam to Dice and a powerbomb to VSK finish for Morrissey at 1:11.

Post match Morrissey says he’s coming for Moose and the World Title.

In the back, Scott D’Amore gives Morrissey a match with Moose at No Surrender.

The Ring of Honor guys are trying to come in and have tickets. D’Amore comes in and says they can be here to support Jonathan Gresham….in a luxury box, away from the ring. Then get out.

Ring of Honor World Title: Jonathan Gresham vs. Steve Maclin

Gresham is defending and this is Pure Rules. Maclin isn’t interested in the Code of Honor before the bell so Gresham takes him up against the ropes for the first rope break. The Ring of Honor people are watching from the balcony as Maclin drives him up against the ropes for another rope break. Then Gresham makes Maclin use the ropes again, earning himself a right hand for the official warning.

Maclin gets two off a butterfly backbreaker and the threat of a hold makes Gresham burn through another rope break, leaving them with a break apiece. The Boston crab stays on Gresham’s back and he makes the rope for the last time. Maclin grabs a camel clutch and this time the rope has no impact. Gresham pulls his way to his feet so Maclin hits a pair of slams for two.

Back up and Gresham kicks him down, setting up a dropkick. Maclin ties him in the Tree of Woe though and it’s a running shoulder to the ribs for two. With that broken up, Gresham goes for the ribs, sending Maclin to the ropes for his final break. An exchange of forearms and clotheslines gives them an exchange of near falls. Mayhem For All is broken up though and Gresham grabs a Figure Four. They slap it out until Maclin rolls over….which means nothing, so Gresham stands up in the ropes to crank on the leg enough for the tap at 10:19.

Rating: C+. The rope breaks were a bit odd at the time but they were designed to set up the ending. Gresham is awesome in this role, as he digs himself into a hole and then finds a way out of it, often by means of some kind of a hold. Maclin was good for a foil here, but the Gresham/Ring of Honor stuff feels like it has a much longer way to go with bigger names being involved.

Post match, Maclin still won’t show respect.

Flashback Moment of the Week (They still do those?): Sarita/Taylor Wilde b. the Beautiful People for the inaugural Knockouts Tag Team Titles.

The Ring of Honor wrestlers leave. Right.

Doc Gallows/Joe Doering vs. Heath/Rhino

Karl Anderson is on commentary and Violent By Design is here too. Rhino takes Gallows into the corner to start and fires off right hands before the villains are knocked outside. We take a break and come back with Gallows getting the better of a slugout with Rhino. Doering comes in for some choking as Eric Young yells at the fans. Gallows headbutts Rhino down to set up a chinlock, which is broken up without much effort. The hot tag brings in Heath as everything breaks down. Young gets in a flag shot to Heath though and it’s a double chokeslam for the pin at 8:41.

Rating: C. This tag team stuff has been going on for what feels like ever now and it doesn’t seem to be getting anywhere. Odds are we are going to be seeing some big multi team match for the titles, though other than Heath and Rhino winning the titles, there is very little here that gets my attention. The Good Brothers have held the titles far too long over their two reigns and I had almost forgotten they were even the champions.

King’s Daughter trailer.

Charlie Haas vs. Josh Alexander

Chris Sabin is on commentary and thankfully Haas has some hair, as the bald look wasn’t working in the slightest. Believe it or not, they go technical to start with Alexander grabbing a hammerlock. With that broken up, Haas runs him over with a shoulder but Alexander boots him out to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Alexander jumping over him out of the corner but banging up his knee in the process. Haas is smart enough to go after the knee, which is wrapped around the post. The leg is tied up in the ropes for a running knee to the knee, setting up something like an Indian Deathlock. Alexander grabs a backslide for two but they trade rolling German suplexes. Back up and Haas mixes it up a bit with some running shoulders to the ribs in the corner (apparently knocking himself silly in the process). Haas goes back to the leg but gets reversed into an ankle lock 11:23.

Rating: B-. This was the grappling/submission clinic that you were expecting from the two of them, even though Haas’ injury might have screwed things up a bit. What mattered here was giving Alexander another win over a name and that’s what they did. I’m not sure when Alexander is going to get his World Title shot, but having him run through stars is a good way to fill in the time.

Post match, respect is shown…and here are the Ring of Honor guys to jump both of them. Sabin gets off commentary and gets beaten down as well. Some other wrestlers come in for a failed save attempt until Eddie Edwards, with Kenny, makes the real save. The Ring of Honor wrestlers bail back to the balcony, where Maria Kanellis-Bennett dubs them Honor No More to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It wasn’t a great show but what worked well was good enough. That’s all you need in a situation like this, as you have some big stories coming together. The problem is that the lower level stuff is bringing the good down and that is a bit of an issue. Improve on some of the weaker stuff and the show will be that much better as a whole.

Results
Tasha Steelz b. Chelsea Green – Crucifix bomb
Influence b. Havok – Double Stroke
W. Morrissey b. Learning Tree – Double pin
Jonathan Gresham b. Steve Maclin – Figure Four
Doc Gallows/Joe Doering b. Heath/Rhino – Double chokeslam to Heath
Josh Alexander b. Charlie Haas – Ankle lock

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 20, 2007
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and the main event has been set for a long time now. Randy Orton attacked WWE Champion John Cena at Saturday Night’s Main Event so now we need another match set up. There are a few people with nothing else to do so they need to do something with them this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Randy Orton is already in the ring and Tazz is replacing Jerry Lawler after King Booker took him out last week. Orton tells us to take a good look, because this is the last time you are going to see him without the WWE Title. Last week it was the start of the beginning of the end, which sends us to Orton RKOing John Cena through an open chair on Saturday Night’s Main Event. That was so good that Orton wants to see it in slow motion and from different angles. For some reason he only gets the latter but seems pleased anyway.

That footage is going to replace Hogan slamming Andre and the Montreal Screwjob as the most played clip in WWE history. That move is going to end Cena’s reign, but Orton would understand if Cena couldn’t make it to Summerslam. Rumor has it that he isn’t even here tonight but if Cena is here, he can come forfeit the title right now. Instead, Orton gets Vince McMahon, who doesn’t want to hear about the title match because some woman is out there hiding his illegitimate child.

Today, he found out that the child is male, which means a son of superior genetics. If Vince didn’t know Orton’s dad, he would hope that his son would be someone like him. All his other two kids want his MONEY, which isn’t what Orton would be after. Vince thinks they will find out who his son is here tonight and he hopes the people welcome him. These people are all horrible and want to see Vince taken down, just because some offspring wants his money. Vince hopes his son isn’t like John Cena, who has no dignity…and Cena is in the back.

Cue Cena to the ring, where he says he hopes he isn’t Vince’s son because he would be ashamed for Vince to be his father. With Orton behind the barricade, Cena says Orton has a message of his own because he is here tonight. He’ll be at Summerslam, where he will retain the WWE Title. Vince says Cena might be lying, but if he doesn’t show up, he will be stripped of the championship.

Speaking of stripping, that might bring Vince to Cena’s mother. Vince says he spent a lot of time in new England and he very might have “done your mom”. Cena punches him in the face so Vince and Orton bail together. Hold on though as Vince isn’t going to stand for this. That’s why Cena can face Snitsky, which has Cena looking a bit nervous.. This was a long bunch of talking to set up a main event and reveal that the child is a son.

Rey Mysterio is back on Sunday.

Mickie James/Candice Michelle vs. Melina/Beth Phoenix

Hold on though as here is William Regal to say that we will have a Divas battle royal at Summerslam, with the winner facing Candice for the Women’s Title at some point in the future. Mickie and Candice get jumped before the bell and Beth gives Mickie a slingshot suplex. Melina comes in but Mickie slips over and brings in Candice to clean house (and scream a lot). Phoenix’s interference doesn’t work and Candice gets something like Kofi Kingston’s SOS to pin Melina

Post match the mini battle royal breaks out, with Beth being the last woman standing. Tazz: “She’s like a Glamazon!”

Santino Marella, with his arm in a sling, comes in to see William Regal to complain about Ron Simmons and Maria going on a date. Marella complains about Regal’s accent, saying he sounds like a “limp wristed hairdresser.” Regal tells him not to mess with the date so Marella says he’s off to get a cappuccino.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell are ready for his official crowning tonight and invite HHH to be their guest.

Vince McMahon and Coach talk about Vince’s possible son, but write off the idea of it being HHH. Val Venis pops up to say HELLO DADDY, with Coach saying it would explain Val’s other career. They keep walking, with Vince blaming Shane McMahon for a lot of his troubles over the years. Daivari comes in to call Vince papa and puts his head covering on Vince’s head. Vince scares it off and they run into Mr. Kennedy but they keep walking this time. He wants it to be someone who has great wealth…and we’ll just cut it off there.

Cody Rhodes vs. Shelton Benjamin

Charlie Haas is here with Benjamin. Cody takes him down by the arm to start but gets pulled to the mat without much effort. The chinlock with a knee in the back has Cody in more trouble but he fights up with some dropkicks. A bulldog gives Cody two and the snap jabs follow. Benjamin hits another backbreaker but the Boston crab is countered into a rollup to give Cody the pin.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go very far but Cody stringing some wins together is a way to get him established with the crowd. That’s about all you can hope for with someone as generic as Rhodes still is. While that might work well for him, it is still a bit rough to see this happen to Shelton. He really did seem ready to be one of the next big things and here he is instead.

Post match Haas and Benjamin beat Cody down and leave him laying.

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Non-title. Cade drives Kendrick into the corner to start and grabs a headlock. That doesn’t work very well as Kendrick is back up with a dropkick. It’s off to London for an armdrag, followed by another armdrag to Murdoch. An armbar doesn’t last long so Cade comes back in as everything breaks down. Cade and Murdoch are sent outside for the stereo dives, with Kendrick slamming head first onto the floor for a scary crash. Thankfully he seems to be ok, so here is Cryme Tyme to sell Murdoch’s hat to the crowd. The distraction lets Kendrick grab a crucifix for the pin as the hat sells for two dollars.

Rating: C+. These teams work well together as you have some talented people who know how to work well together. Losing to London and Kendrick is hardly some shocking upset and it furthers Cryme Tyme’s claim to a title shot. They’re turning this into a little something, with Cryme Tyme’s charisma certainly taking it a long way. Nice match too, which shouldn’t be a surprise.

We now go to Ron Simmons and Maria on a date at a sports bar and grill. Simmons will have CLAM chowder with his LAMB, along with some bread and JAM. Cue Santino Marella with Jillian (or Lilian, according to him) Hall and of course they’ll join them. Oh and Simmons gets a vegetable, so he’ll have YAMS.

It’s time for King Booker’s coronation, with Queen Sharmell handling the introductions. Last week, Jerry Lawler was supposed to crown him but that did not happen. Instead, Lawler announced his opponent for the Summerslam Games, Hunter Hearst Helmsley (He used his real name!). We see Lawler getting beaten down last week before Booker calls the city by the wrong name. Booker orders HHH out here right now….and it’s a guy in a bad HHH costume, complete with the fake nose (he looks like Jason Sensation as Owen Hart).

Fake HHH crowns him but Booker wants to talk to James Ross. This does not concern Tazzwell so he can leave. Booker yells at Ross over what he said last week, while losing a bit of the accent. Ross is in trouble, but he can make up for it by kissing the royal ring. That won’t happen, but Sharmell shoves his face onto it, which is enough for Booker. I was expecting more violence. And more from Fake HHH. This was something with a few ideas but they didn’t go anywhere.

Post break, Ross says it’s Game On for Booker at Summerslam.

We go back to the date, where Jillian Hall is singing Whitney Houston. Maria didn’t realize they had karaoke here, but she just brings that microphone with her. A “fan” comes up to ask for Santino Marella’s autograph on a program, which is unfortunately from the waist up because it doesn’t showcase Santino’s…uh, bulge. The fact that he is reading this from a piece of paper isn’t lost on Maria. Ron Simmons: “SHAM!”

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana, with Umaga as the guest. Carlito gets right to the point: we’re almost to Summerslam but he doesn’t have a match. He wants the Intercontinental Title shot, but here is Mr. Kennedy to interrupt. Carlito: “Not you again.” Kennedy thinks he should get the title shot, because he has beaten Bobby Lashley, which even Umaga hasn’t done. If anyone deserves the title shot at Summerslam, it’s MR. KENNEDY (which takes quite awhile to say). Umaga thinks it takes too long and superkicks Kennedy down before wrecking the set. Cue William Regal to make Carlito vs. Kennedy for the title shot right now.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito

We’re joined in progress with Carlito taking him down by the arm and pounding on the shoulder. Kennedy gets sent outside but comes back in to take Carlito down instead. The chase on the floor doesn’t go very far and it’s Carlito hammering away back inside. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Kennedy’s back but he pops up with a backdrop.

Carlito’s clothesline doesn’t even get a count because Kennedy’s shoulders aren’t down but a suplex does get one. Kennedy misses a middle rope elbow so they trade rollups with trunks for two each. Back up and Carlito kicks/hits/springboard elbows him in the face, only to miss a charge into the post. They head back outside, with Kennedy hitting a running kick to the ribs against the steps as we take a break.

We come back with Carlito being sent into the corner, setting up some boot scrapes. That doesn’t go well for Carlito, who is back up with a posting of his own. Carlito’s dropkick gets two but Kennedy catches him on top. The super Regal Roll is broken up so Carlito hits a superplex, setting up the always stupid “let’s randomly throw our legs together” for a small package and the double pin.

Rating: C-. This was long and I don’t know how dramatic the ending was. It wouldn’t have made sense to have either of them go over the other so this was about as good as it could have been. The ending didn’t help either, as it’s one of those ending that can only make sense when they are working together and that isn’t a great visual.

Post match, William Regal makes the triple threat title match. That was so fast it was almost anticlimactic.

HHH is back at Summerslam.

Back at the bar, Santino Marella threatens Ron Simmons, who calls the referee over (SAM!). As luck would have it, the waiter’s tray of food winds up on Santino, giving us Simmons’ main catchphrase. Kind of a lame ending, but Simmons has been great.

Summerslam rundown.

Vince McMahon is in the back with Melina, who apparently looks rather fetching in Divas Magazine. Snitsky comes in to say he never knew his parents, but he knows how to inflict pain. He promises to cause Cena pain and calls Vince dad.

We look back at John Cena slapping McMahon earlier.

John Cena vs. Snitsky

Non-title. Cena gets powered into the corner to start but avoids a charge. A bulldog just seems to avoid Snitsky, who kicks Cena in the head to take over again. Snitsky clotheslines him hard to the floor and there’s an elbow to cut off the comeback attempt. A double underhook crank works on both of Cena’s arms but Cena powers out. The ProtoBomb looks to set up the FU but here is Randy Orton with the RKO for the DQ.

Rating: C. It’s another match designed to be nothing more than a way to set up the finish, but Snitsky continues to look like a monster. One thing I did like here was the ending didn’t have Snitsky completely done, leaving him just enough of an out. I can’t imagine Snitsky can reach anything higher than a monster to be slayed, but at least he did well in a short match here.

Post match, Orton hits another RKO and stares at the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They’re in a weird place with the Summerslam build as Cena vs. Orton is set, but the second biggest Raw match involves someone who hasn’t been around for seven months. That has left the logical but only so good Booker vs. Lawler feud, with Lawler not being around this week either. The Vince drama is enough to fill in the gap, but the red half of Summerslam is feeling very single note after this show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Royal Rumble 2010
Date: January 31, 2010
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 16,697
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

We’re getting close to the end of the run here with only three shows left. Tonight we’ve got the Rumble of course along with Undertaker defending against Mysterio and Sheamus defending against Orton. I remember really liking this one as the new generation had arrived and was rising up the card. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the Road to Wrestlemania is beginning and how it determines what happens for months to come. This is called the most star studded Rumble ever, which is a tagline that has been used before.

ECW Title: Christian vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Christian is defending and man that ECW ring announcer has an annoying voice. Regal is with Jackson here. According to Striker, Jackson went to Columbia Law School. Now there’s a factoid that fell through the cracks. Jackson shoves Christian into the corner and then does it again into the ropes so the champion slaps him in the face. After a brief chase, Christian dropkicks Jackson out to the floor.

The springboard plancha takes Jackson out and we head back in. Christian finally gets caught in the corner and pounded on before having the Killswitch easily blocked. Instead Christian chokes away on the ropes and hits another shot to the face. Jackson throws Christian to the floor where Regal tries to throw him back in, earning himself an ejection. Off to a neck crank back inside which Jackson picks up into a kind of cobra clutch slam for two.

A vertical suplex gets two for Big Zeke and it’s time for more choking. A sunset flip is easily blocked by Jackson and it’s back to the chinlock. Striker tries to figure out what a peep is, as he knows it as a something made of chocolate. Some shots to the face get Christian out of trouble for awhile, or at least until a clothesline to the back of the head gets two.

Jackson hooks both of Christian’s arms back for another hold before putting the champion on top. The superplex is blocked and Christian hits a top rope back elbow for two (LOVE that move). Jackson’s big clothesline misses and a middle rope dropkick gets two for the champion. A spinwheel kick gets two on Jackson but a swan dive misses and gives Zeke a near fall as does a backbreaker.

The tornado DDT gets ANOTHER two for Christian so Jackson takes his head off with a clothesline. Off to a sleeper from Christian when the Killswitch doesn’t work but Jackson counters into a powerslam position to ram Christian’s back into the buckle. Christian slides down Jackson’s back and grabs the Killswitch out of nowhere to retain.

Rating: C+. Trim two minutes out of this and it goes WAY up in quality. The period of near falls went on too long without getting any significant heat from the crowd. Jackson would get the title in a little over two weeks on the final episode of ECW because if there’s one man that should be the final ECW Champion, it’s a musclehead that could barely get through a five minute match most of the time.

Cryme Tyme come in to try to get a second spot in the Rumble from Teddy and Tiffany. Khali says “no dice homeslice” to selling their spot because he’s keeping it real. Apparently he’s learned his English from Family Matters (Singh’s words, not mine). Ok then. Anyway US Champion the Miz comes in and laughs which causes him to have to defend against MVP.

Orton is in the back when Cody Rhodes comes in. He’s there for Randy in the title match tonight but that’s not all. Apparently DiBiase isn’t in on this because his mind is on winning the Rumble and taking the title from Orton.

US Title: The Miz vs. MVP

A quick clothesline gets two for MVP and he works on the champ’s ribs to start. Miz gets a boot up in the corner to slow him down but MVP comes right back with a belly to back suplex for two. They head to the floor for this gem from Striker: “Miz is one of the most recognizable faces on this planet.” I don’t think Miz is one of the most recognizable faces in this match.

Back in and Miz sends MVP to the apron and gets kicked into the table on the floor. Not that this is treated like anything of note because the announcers are laughing about Sherri Shepard from The View. Miz sends shoulders into MVP’s ribs in the corner followed by the running corner clothesline. A top rope double ax gets two for Miz and we hit the chinlock.

After that eats up some time, MVP pounds away with all of his usual stuff. Ballin hits and a running boot to the side of the head gets two for the challenger. A big shoulder block gets the same for MVP but he misses a running boot in the corner. MVP grabs three straight quick near falls but gets caught in a small package for the pin to keep the title on Miz.

Rating: D+. If there was a reason for this to be on PPV other than the show was running short, I don’t know what it was. Miz didn’t look like anything special out there but somehow he would be world champion a year later. MVP on the other hand would be out of the WWE but he did well enough in Japan. Nothing to see here other than a filler match.

Post match MVP hits the Playmaker on Miz and gets booed LOUDLY. He lost completely clean so the booing is deserved.

Show and Jericho, the former tag team champions, run into each other. Show accuses him of being jealous of the chemistry Show and Miz have but Jericho brushes it off. He calls the crowd gelatinous worms before pointing out all of the similarities he and Miz have. Show says he’ll throw both Miz and Jericho out to win the Rumble. R-Truth pops up and says he’ll do the same. Show leaves Jericho standing there much to Jericho’s chagrin.

DiBiase wishes Orton luck and says he’s got Randy’s back. Orton asks where Cody is but DiBiase doesn’t know. This was during the time when Legacy was about to die and both members were trying to get on Randy’s best side. DiBiase claims that Rhodes only wants to win the Rumble but Orton has heard enough. He doesn’t want anyone’s help and gets a clear face pop in response.

The National Guard is here.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Sheamus won the title in a shocker last month at TLC and is heel here. He’s also still not that good and wouldn’t really hit his stride for about a year and a half. They stare at each other to start and my goodness is Sheamus pale. A dropkick puts the champion down but he comes right back with a running ax handle. Sheamus gets in a shot to the arm and we head to the floor where said arm is sent into the steps.

Back in and Orton goes for the knee and things slow down a bit. Orton wouldn’t really pick up the pace of his offense until about the following year which made his matches pretty hard to sit through. Sheamus comes back by sending Orton’s shoulder into the post twice and hitting some shoulder blocks in the corner. That gets him nowhere though as Orton takes out the knee again and knocks Sheamus to the floor.

They head inside again and yet AGAIN momentum shifts back to Sheamus as he hits a DDT on the arm for two. Off to an armbar for a bit before they slug it out to the boo/yay chants. Orton wins the slugout but walks into the Irish Curse for two. The High Cross is escaped and Orton kicks Sheamus in the head to send him to the outside. Orton gets ready for the RKO but Rhodes jumps the guardrail and blasts Sheamus in the back before running away. The referee sees it though and despite Orton hitting the RKO, he’s disqualified and Sheamus keeps the title. Lame ending to a pretty lame match.

Rating: D+. Like I said, Sheamus just wasn’t very good yet. He was still this big imposing brawler who pounded on people and that’s about it. There was indeed a story in the match but it wasn’t a very entertaining one as they just kept beating on each other’s limbs but when there’s no difference because of the beating, the story doesn’t work. The ending didn’t help either but it did set up something in the future.

Post match Orton snaps on Cody as DiBiase comes down to save his partner. While Orton yells at Cody in the corner, Sheamus comes back in and lays out Randy with a Brogue Kick.

We recap Mickie vs. McCool. This was an awkward feud as Mickie won the title shot in a triple threat and then Laycool made fun of Mickie for being fat. This is of course odd as Mickie is a professional athlete and gorgeous and would only be called fat by a crazy person. It’s also pretty disturbing when you consider how WWE pushes the Divas as role models. The final bit of it was a segment where Mickie got beaten down and covered in food.

Women’s Title: Michelle McCool vs. Mickie James

Pre match Michelle runs her mouth about how fat Mickie is and accuses her of skipping out on the match. Michelle offers cake and here’s Layla in a Mickie Pig costume. The real Mickie sprints to the ring and hits a Thesz Press on Layla on the floor. She heads inside, sends Michelle into Layla and hits the MickieDT for the pin and the title in 20 seconds.

Post match the other Divas bring out a cake and smash it into Laycool’s faces.

We recap Mysterio vs. Undertaker. Rey won the shot by slamming a cage door onto Batista’s head to escape because that’s what heroes do. Taker said he’ll show no mercy on Mysterio so Rey uses the same line everyone does on Taker: he isn’t afraid. Batista beat up Mysterio as well, claiming that Undertaker and the world title was his.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Undertaker

Mysterio, in the deep south, comes out wearing a white hood. Striker talks about Lawler being in the ring with Kamala and Lord Humongous (Sid) because he thinks it makes him sound interesting. He’s trying to make a comparison to being in the ring with Undertaker, but if he was as smart as he thinks he is, he would ask Jerry what it’s like to be in the ring with Undertaker himself, which would save a lot of headaches.

Rey fires off some shots in the corner before Taker grabs him by the neck and throws him up and over the top and out to the floor. That looked awesome. Back to the apron and Rey fires off strikes to the face, only to get punched right back down to the floor by a single shot. Taker misses the legdrop on the apron but hits it the second time before heading back in. Rey counters a chokeslam into the 619 but Taker easily grabs the legs. Tombstone is countered and Taker misses an elbow drop.

Rey tries a springboard cross body but jumps into a boot to the chest. We head to the floor again and there’s another big boot to the head to take Rey down. A third big boot keeps Rey down but the fourth misses and Taker sends his leg around the post. Rey hits a baseball slide to send the leg into said post and Taker is in trouble. The seated senton off the apron is caught and Taker puts him back on the apron, only to be caught by an Asai Moonsault to put both guys down.

Taker grabs Rey by the throat and slams him into the barricade. The champion’s nose is busted a bit. Taker does that lifting wristlock of his to crank on the arm a bit before punching Rey down in the corner for a bit. A big side slam gets two for the guy who would use a side slam in this match as Striker goes into this big speech about how the blood shows that undertaker is mortal. Seriously, it’s a BLOODY NOSE. Watch the freaking Lesnar match in the Cell when the blood is literally dripping from Taker’s head and down onto Lesnar’s body.

Rey starts firing off some punches but a single shot from Taker is enough to put him back down. A jawbreaker finally staggers the big man and they do a kind of cross body, although Taker counters into something like Langston’s Big Ending, so it’s hard to say which hurt worse. Taker sits up so Rey kicks him in the face. Why has no one done that before? Rey drops the dime (springboard legdrop) for two but Taker kills him with a big clothesline. The Last Ride is countered and the 619 hits as does a second one, but the West Coast Pop is countered into the Last Ride to retain the title.

Rating: B. This was solid stuff for the most part for a few reasons. First of all, they didn’t make Taker look ridiculous to get into position for Rey’s moves. That’s my biggest issue with most of Rey’s battles against giants: how stupid the big men look. The other good thing here is that Taker wasn’t knocked silly after just a few moves. Rey only hit maybe a dozen offensive moves here other than basic strikes and it wouldn’t have made sense to have Taker in major trouble. Finally, Rey can bump like crazy when he’s trying to. The only issues here are the lack of a threat to Taker and Striker’s commentary. Chill out already man.

Shawn is watching in the back when Kane comes in and says Shawn’s obsession with Taker is unhealthy. This is KANE calling something unhealthy. He warns Shawn to cool it with Taker because it won’t end well. Kane leaves and HHH comes in. Shawn apologizes for whatever happened on Raw which apparently isn’t important enough to specify. HHH agrees Shawn vs. Taker is meant to be, but it won’t be by wining the Rumble.

Rumble by the Numbers time:

23 Winners

627 entrants eliminated

36 eliminations by Austin

11 eliminations by Kane in 2001

2002 was the last Rumble in Atlanta

62:12 Rey was in the Rumble in 2006

2 seconds was the record for 20 years until Santino broke it last year

3 wins for Austin

2 win for #1, the same as #30

70% of the winners win at Mania

Royal Rumble

Dolph Ziggler is #1 and Evan Bourne is #2. Bourne snaps off a headscissors to start and follows up with a spinwheel kick to take Dolph down. Ziggler comes back with the Zig Zag but can’t throw Evan out. Bourne decks Ziggler and hits Air Bourne as CM Punk of the Straightedge Society is #3. He slams the other two guys’ heads together and dumps them out one after the other. Punk gets a mic and says that tonight is the greatest night in the history of the Straightedge Society. These two are just the first of 29 men who will challenge him, but they can be saved.

The clock starts running down, so Punk gives us the line of the night: “Excuse me, it’s clobberin time.” JTG is #4 and after a few clotheslines, he poses like an idiot in the corner and gets dumped. Punk gets the mic again and says that not everyone can be saved because they don’t have his dedication. Great Khali is #5 and Punk immediately says he can make Khali greater by saving him. He asks Khali to raise his hand for the Straightedge Pledge but Khali lowers the hand onto Punk’s head for the chop.

There’s the Khali Vice and in less than 90 seconds, Beth Phoenix of all people is #6. She stares down Khali and gets picked up and placed on the apron. Beth kisses Khali but in the process pulls him over the top to eliminate him. Phoenix gets back in and BEATS UP PUNK, only to get caught in a GTS to the chest. Would that really knock her out? Before she’s dumped out, here’s Zack Ryder at #7.

As Ryder gets in, Punk grabs the mic and says Zack has potential. PREACH IT BROTHER! Punk starts offering him a spot but his Ryder with the mic before he gets done with it. The fans are going nuts for Punk now and there goes Ryder. Punk talks about how great he is and wants to know who is next, but whoever it is, they’re inferior to Punk. In at #8 is HHH as we enter the second segment of the Rumble.

They stare each other down and HHH starts punching. The facebuster has Punk staggered and a spinebuster puts him down as Drew McIntyre is #9. That gives us a tag champion in HHH and the IC Champion in Drew at the moment. HHH is looking a bit flabby here. He hits the high knee on McIntyre and escapes the GTS to eliminate Punk. DiBiase is #10 as we’re flying through this.

HHH gets double teamed down in the corner until John Morrison, the guy that lost the title to McIntyre, is #11. He takes both heels down and pounds away on them before hitting a jumping DDT on Drew. Starship Pain almost completely misses Drew and HHH clotheslines John down. Kane is #12 and comes in with the top rope clothesline to HHH. There’s a double chokeslam to McIntyre and Morrison before Kane tries to dump DiBiase.

Rhodes is #13 and saves Ted as he comes in. Morrison is sent to the apron and springboards back in, only to get dropkicked out of the air. Legacy goes after Kane but HHH saves him for no apparent reason. Cody saves himself from being eliminated and MVP is #14. Miz runs up behind him though and blasts MVP with the US Title. Morrison hits the Moonlight Drive on McIntyre to break up the Future Shock on Kane. HHH is in trouble in the corner and MVP is carried to the back.

Carlito is #15 and the ring is starting to get full. There’s a Backstabber to HHH and one for Drew and Ted as well. Miz is #16 and hits a quick Finale on Carlito. Cue MVP to clothesline Miz out and eliminate himself in the process. Matt Hardy is #17 and lasts about 20 seconds before Kane puts him out. HHH immediately dumps Kane too and the ring is a lot more empty all of a sudden.

HHH starts laying out everyone and Shawn is #18. Carlito is backdropped out, Rhodes and DiBiase are tossed, Morrison gets dumped, and DX puts out McIntyre to get us down to DX. Before anything can happen though, Cena is #19 to get us to the final third of the match. Cena cleans house and hits a double Shuffle before getting caught in the Pedigree. Out of nowhere Shawn superkicks HHH out to pop the crowd BIG.

Shelton Benjamin in that stupid gold period is #20. He hits Paydirt on both guys but gets dumped by Cena in less than 50 seconds. Yoshi Tatsu is #21 and doesn’t even make it 30 seconds. Big Show is #22 and Cena is shaken. Big Show RUNS down to the ring and house is cleaned. Shawn and Cena try to eliminate each other but Show pulls Shawn back in for some reason. What’s up with that tonight?

Mark Henry is #23 and we get a quick battle of the giant. Who would think those two would have a world title feud a year and a half later and be REALLY popular? Henry slams Show and falls on Cena as he tries an AA. Show spears Henry down and Chris Masters is #24. Masters tries the Masterlock on Show and gets dumped for his efforts. Now Henry goes after Show but Shawn breaks it up for some reason. R-Truth is #25 and actually dumps BOTH big guys. There’s something you wouldn’t expect.

Truth hits a Stroke on Cena and Jack Swagger is #26. All three guys get Vader Bombs and Swagger goes old school with a very slow Oklahoma Stampede. Jack knocks Michaels to the apron but can’t get the elimination. Kingston is #27 and cleans house on Swagger, hitting the Boom Drop and dumping him out with a nice leverage move. Truth puts Kofi on the apron but gets pulled out by a reverse headscissors.

Jericho is #28 but after cleaning about half the house, Cena grabs an AA to put him down. Shawn adds the top rope elbow and tunes up the band but Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise to take him out. Cena dumps Kofi but walks into a Codebreaker. Everyone is down and EDGE makes his big return at #29. That’s rather brilliant instead of waiting for the big surprise at #30, we get a SWERVE that actually makes sense.

Everyone gets a spear and Jericho is out. Edge is back about six months early and it’s Edge-O-Matics all around. Batista is #30, giving us a final four of Shawn, Cena, Edge and Batista. Not bad at all. It’s power all around but Edge spears him down. Everyone is down now Shawn gets up first and hits the forearm on Cena followed by the nipup.

Shawn slams every American in sight and drops the top rope elbow on Cena. Batista takes one too as Edge is still down in the corner. Sweet Chin Music hits Cena and there’s one for Batista as well. Edge clotheslines Shawn to the apron and Michaels superkicks Edge back in, only to get knocked out by Batista. The crowd gasps HUGE at that and Shawn is about to cry. Shawn gets back in and superkicks the referee to vent some frustration. Shawn FINALLY leaves and Cena escapes the Batista Bomb before dumping Batista out. Edge misses the spear but throws out Cena a second later to go to Wrestlemania.

Rating: A-. This is kind of a hard one to grade. They definitely followed the three act structure which helped a lot and the match was VERY fast paced. I mean, the longest anyone was in there was Cena and he barely broke 20 minutes. The problem with that is it doesn’t give anything time to develop. The main story was Shawn which is fine and he would get to Mania at the end of the day anyway. It’s a really fun Rumble but not one of the best ever.

Overall Rating: B. The Rumble is very solid and the rest has nothing terrible so we’ll call it a good show overall. Things would get a lot more interesting soon after this with the rise of the Nexus and a very solid Wrestlemania. This was also a time of transition for the company as a lot of the guys in this show would be gone by the end of the year. Anyway good show here and worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

Christian vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Miz vs. MVP

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: D+

Mickie James vs. Michelle McCool

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Undertaker vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: A

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A-

Redo: B

Dang I liked Sheamus a lot more than I thought I did.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/29/royal-rumble-count-up-2010-one-of-the-best-ever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Royal Rumble 2006
Date: January 29, 2006
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 16,178
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

This is going to be an interesting one as the Rumble itself has received very little build. It has gotten about as little attention as I can remember in recent years, but things are in a weird place at the moment anyway. Other than that, we have Mark Henry challenging Kurt Angle for the Smackdown World Title and John Cena trying to get the Raw World Title back from Edge. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at all three main events, which is covering all of the bases fairly well.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Kid Kash, Gregory Helms, Jamie Noble, Funaki, Nunzio, Paul London

Kash is defending, it’s one fall to a finish, only former champions are allowed in, and if this was mentioned on Smackdown, it was in a one off statement. They go with the parade of rollups to start until the five Smackdown wrestlers jump Raw’s Helms. Noble armbars Kash but it’s broken up by London as this is more like a battle royal with everyone pairing off. London is sent to the floor and Nunzio hits the Sicilian Slice (middle rope Fameasser on Helms).

Noble hits a flying leg lariat on Kash with Funaki breaking it up at two. Funaki whips Noble to the ropes but Noble dives onto Nunzio instead. Kash and Funaki head outside and it’s London hitting a shooting star onto the big pile at ringside. Back in and Helms hits a super swinging neckbreaker on London, followed by Kash hitting London with the Dead Level. Nunzio and Funaki make the save so Noble chops the heck out of Funaki. A fireman’s carry gutbuster sets up a dragon sleeper but Helms makes the save. Noble is sent outside and a Shining Wizard to Funaki gives Helms the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This was the right call for Helms, who lost clean to Jerry Lawler on pay per view earlier this month. He needs to get away from Raw as fast as he can and this is as good of a way as he can do it. There are only so many spots for cruiserweights on either show but it’s not like Kash was anything special anyway. Good move, and a nice choice for a start.

Teddy Long and Vince McMahon are ready for the Rumble but Vince is more excited that Torrie Wilson, Candice Michelle and Victoria are monitoring the tumbler. Randy Orton comes in to draw his number, as does HHH. Trash talk ensues and HHH asks Candice to hold his ball. HHH is really unhappy with his number, with Randy telling him that he’s screwed.

Trish Stratus, refereeing the next match, is warming up when Mickie James comes in with something to tell her. It’s not a good time, but Mickie says she loves her. Trish leaves without saying anything.

Ashley vs. Mickie James

Trish is refereeing and Lawler longs to be her shirt. Mickie and Ashley fight to the floor before heading back inside for an exchange of wristlocks. Ashley actually gets the better of it, with Joey calling her “technically sound”. Mickie is sent outside for an apron clothesline from Ashley, followed by some technically sound right hands in the corner. Trish breaks it up so Mickie grabs a quickly broken half crab.

That’s fine with Mickie, who gets to stare at Trish and beat Ashley up on the floor. A bow and arrow goes on with commentary pointing out that Mickie is trying to impress Trish. Ashley fights up and throws her down by the hair a few times before rolling Mickie up for two. Something like a spear drives Mickie into the corner as the fans are loudly booing Ashley. More right hands in the corner have Mickie in trouble but she uses the trunks to pull Ashley down with a powerbomb for a distressed three from Trish.

Rating: D. Ashley is trying as hard as she can but she’s just not that good. It doesn’t help when you have Mickie and Trish, two of the best of their generation, out there while we have to sit through Ashley’s bad….well almost everything. They’re stretching this out until Wrestlemania and putting Ashley in the ring on pay per view for nearly eight minutes is not the best way to go about it.

Post match Mickie hugs Trish, who still doesn’t seem pleased.

Vince admires the women’s tattoos, some of which are in some suggestive places. Big Show comes in to draw his number but can’t get his hand in the tumbler. Rey Mysterio comes in and, after an Eddie chat with Big Show, draws his number. Rey: “Eddie, you got me man. You got me.”

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Boogeyman

Jillian Hall is here with JBL. After cowering during Boogeyman’s entrance, JBL hides behind Ashley and then bails to the floor. Boogeyman mounts her and spits worms onto her, which is finally enough to get us ready. JBL hammers away to knock Boogeyman outside before taking him inside for some choking with the tape. The Clothesline From JBL only hits the corner though and Boogeyman hits the pumphandle powerslam for the pin. I’m not sure if that’s a good idea or not, as Boogeyman isn’t exactly a main event star, but JBL isn’t as much of one as he was just a few months ago.

Worms are consumed post match.

Mama Benjamin hits on Vince and Shelton Benjamin draws. That goes well for him but here’s Melina to interrupt. Mama gets Shelton out in a hurry as MNM come in to draw. They seem rather pleased and Melina offers to have the two of them get rid of Shawn Michaels.

We recap the Royal Rumble, which is more or less “anyone could win”. They haven’t focused on it that much this year and that leaves some options open.

It’s Royal Rumble time but here’s the Spirit Squad to interrupt. After a cheer about the Rumble, we’re ready to go. Glad we got that out of the way, but it’s certainly a unique gimmick.

Royal Rumble

Ninety second intervals with HHH in at #1 and Rey Mysterio, in a low rider, in at #2. Lawler: “If you’re number one or two, you’re screwed.” This company really doesn’t have much of a memory does it? Rey goes fast to start with a running dropkick to the knee and a headscissors. The right hands in the corner set up the missed 619 and it’s Simon Dean in at #3. Dean stomps on Rey but can only send him to the apron. For some reason Dean thinks HHH will like him and that’s good for an elimination in a hurry.

Rey hits the Bronco Buster on HHH and it’s Psicosis in at #4. Psicosis goes after Rey as well and a swinging sitout faceplant drops him again. An attempt at a Razor’s Edge over the top results in a hurricanrana to get rid of Psicosis. Before anything else can happen, it’s Ric Flair in at #5 (Flair was in five Rumbles. In four of them, he was in the first five entrants.). HHH panics and the fight is on, with Flair grabbing him low but getting poked in the eyes.

A backdrop gets rid of Flair and it’s Big Show in at #6. That means another beatdown on HHH, including the standing legdrop and an elbow. Jonathan Coachman is in at #7 and Big Show gets rid of him as quickly as you would expect. Show stands on HHH’s head again and it’s Bobby Lashley (a dark horse according to Cole) in at #8. A big right hand puts Lashley down but he backdrops Show in a nice power display.

Lashley kicks Show to the floor (not eliminated) and it’s Kane in at #9 as they’re stacking the first part of this thing. Kane and Lashley slug it out with Kane hitting a big boot. Lashley snaps off a belly to belly, knocks down HHH, and hits the Dominator on Kane. It’s Sylvan in at #10, giving us HHH, Mysterio, Big Show, Lashley, Kane and Sylvan.

After Lashley dispatches him even faster than Show got rid of Coach, it’s a double chokeslam to plant Lashley. Kane and Show get rid of him after a strong showing and it’s the giant slugout. They choke each other on the ropes until HHH dumps both of them out (I’m shocked too) so here’s Carlito at #11 to fill in the ring a little more. Carlito stomps on Rey and HHH until a Roddy Piper style eye poke gets HHH out of trouble. Chris Benoit is in at #12 with Cole explaining about Benoit winning last year (hopefully jogging Lawler’s memory a bit).

The Crossface has Carlito in trouble, with HHH making the fast save. That wasn’t the brightest idea in the world but he sends Benoit to the apron where they fight over a suplex attempt. Benoit puts him down and hits the Swanton but here’s Booker T. (back in the long tights) in at #13. Benoit gets rid of Booker in about 20 seconds (Booker was probably still injured) so it’s back to chopping away at everyone else.

Joey Mercury is in at #14 and Benoit gives him a German suplex in a hurry. More chopping ensues as Tatanka of all people is in at #15 to go after HHH. The fans seem to remember him, but that might just be the Florida State Seminoles chant. Everyone pairs off and it’s Johnny Nitro in at #16 as Benoit gets HHH to the apron. Trevor Murdoch is in at #17 (Lawler: “He looks like a big bottle of milk.”) as the ring is getting full in a hurry. Rey is sent to the apron for the third time but is right back in with a basement dropkick to HHH.

Eugene is in at #18 for an airplane spin on Murdoch so Rey gives the two of them a double bulldog. Animal, with bright green shoulder pads, is in at #19. Things slow down again with the only thing between entrances being MNM failing to get rid of Rey. The returning Rob Van Dam is in at #20, giving us HHH, Mysterio, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Tatanka, Nitro, Murdoch, Eugene, Animal and Van Dam. Rob goes after almost everyone, including a spinwheel kick to HHH. MNM goes after Rob but he shrugs that off and gets rid of Animal.

Orlando Jordan is in at #21 and doesn’t even get a reaction in his hometown. There are WAY too many people in there and it’s making it hard to do much. Van Dam manages a middle rope kick to Carlito’s face and it’s Chavo Guerrero in at #22. Rolling Thunder hits Jordan and Chavo gets to clean a little house, including Three Amigos to Nitro. For some reason Chavo goes up top and HHH shove shim out without much effort.

Matt Hardy is in at #23 as there is only room for about two people to do anything at a time. MNM dumps Tatanka and it’s Super Crazy in at #24. He comes in with a very high crossbody to MNM and it’s back to fighting on the ropes. Shawn Michaels is in at #25 and PLEASE GET RID OF SOME PEOPLE. Murdoch is Shawn’s first victim and it’s Chris Masters in at #26 because the ring MUST stay overly full. Mercury and Hardy both save themselves and HHH has to do it as well.

Viscera is in at #27 (lucky us) for a Samoan drop on Hardy. There’s the Visagra and Hardy is out for daring to try a Twist of Fate on the monster. Shelton Benjamin is in at #28 as Benoit gets rid of Eugene. There’s a Dragon Whip to HHH as Goldust is in at #29. Crazy seems to have been put out off camera and Randy Orton is in at #30.

Side note: Cole says Orton is coming off a phenomenal 2005. What exactly did he do? Lose the title match against HHH at the Rumble, lose against the Undertaker at Wrestlemania and in the Cell, and need his dad to help him beat Undertaker. Oh and be the sole survivor at Survivor Series (thanks to a distraction), which he had done twice before. That’s phenomenal?

Anyway, the final grouping is HHH, Mysterio, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Nitro, Van Dam, Jordan, Michaels, Masters, Viscera, Benjamin, Goldust and Orton, or nearly half of the field. Orton gets rid of Benoit in a hurry to make up for Smackdown and Carlito/Masters dump Viscera. Carlito immediately turns on Masters to eliminate him as they’re picking up the pace in a hurry.

Goldust hits Shattered Dreams on Carlito, and is quickly eliminated by Van Dam. Orton gets rid of Jordan (after a ridiculous sixteen minutes), leaving Shawn and HHH to do their big showdown. MNM breaks that up but Michaels breaks that up and sends Nitro into Mercury to get rid of Joey. Michaels clotheslines Nitro out and skins the cat back in but Shelton jumps him. Shawn superkicks Shelton out without much effort but here’s Vince McMahon to order Michaels out.

Cue Shane McMahon from behind to dump Shawn, who charges back in, chases Shane off, superkicks HHH for old times’ sake, and follows the McMahons to the back. Van Dam gets rid of Carlito and we’re down to Van Dam, HHH, Orton and Mysterio. The tag match breaks out with Van Dam and Mysterio getting the better of it. For some reason Rob goes up and gets crotched by HHH, who sends Rey into Van Dam for the elimination.

Rey has to knock HHH and Orton down at the same time, setting up a double 619. Orton clotheslines Rey down though and powerslams HHH for a bonus. HHH is back up with a spinebuster to Orton but Rey gets rid of HHH to bring the fans WAY back into it. Just because he’s evil, HHH pulls Mysterio to the floor and sends him into the steps. The EDDIE chants start up and Rey manages to slip off Orton’s shoulder and a hurricanrana gives Rey the win.

Rating: B-. It’s good enough, but the Eddie praise got a little rough to take as the match went on. The far bigger problem though was having so many people in the ring at once for long stretches, leaving the people to have to find what openings they could in their limited room. That’s not a good setup for the Rumble and when it’s for the sake of having people like Tatanka and Jordan in there for long stretches, they seem to be missing the point.

Mickie interrupts a Trish interview and says she understands what Trish had to do out there. It’s because Trish loves her too! Trish follows her off to straighten things out.

Rey celebrates in the back when Edge comes in to say Rey better not try Benoit’s loophole by jumping over to Raw.

We recap Edge vs. John Cena for the Raw World Title. Edge cashed in the Money in the Bank briefcase after Cena survived the Elimination Chamber and went on to be a very different kind of champion. It was rather cool at times, but he doesn’t have much chance in this one.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Cena is challenging and comes to the ring walking across a confetti shooting scaffold that was lowered from the ceiling. Joey says Cena is fresh here, rather than coming off a 45 minute Elimination Chamber. Why can no one in wrestling tell time? The match wasn’t even 30 minutes long. Cena clotheslines him to the floor to start but Edge manages a trip into the middle buckle.

Back up and Cena grabs a side slam for two so Edge bails outside. That means it’s already time for a Lita distraction and Edge spears Cena into the steps. Cena is sent over the barricade for a nine count and Edge mocks You Can’t See Me. Some kicks to Cena’s face get two and Edge suplexes him down to work on the ribs some more. Cena is sent outside this time and Edge follows to keep hammering away. Back in and Edge gets two off a missile dropkick, setting up a jumping clothesline.

Edge snaps off some jabs to the jaw but has to rake the eyes to get out of a quick FU attempt. Another boot to the face lets Edge go up for a high crossbody, with Cena rolling through for a quick two. A chinlock with a bodyscissors has Cena down again but he powers to his feet. Cena grabs a DDT and they’re both down. The comeback is on and the Shuffle connects for no cover thanks to Lita. That doesn’t really matter though as Cena hits the FU into the STFU to get the title back.

Rating: B-. The wrestling was good enough but the ending wasn’t quite in doubt. As cool as it was to see Edge win the title, I don’t think anyone was buying him as being the champion coming into Wrestlemania. Cena is still the biggest star in the world, despite the mixed reactions getting stronger. I’m thinking Edge will be fine though, as the ratings for his shows as champion are hard to ignore.

Post match, Edge doesn’t want to talk and storms off. Jim Duggan comes up for the obvious Lita joke. I love that Duggan got into gear for the sake of the cameo. It’s such a wrestler thing to do.

Kurt Angle is ready to beat Mark Henry. He’s coming in as champion and leaving as champion. Oh and Mark Henry: YOU SUCK!

Smackdown World Title: Mark Henry vs. Kurt Angle

Henry is challenging and has Daivari in his corner. Angle goes for the leg to start and is shrugged off with ease. With the direct approach not working, it’s off to some speed to make Henry miss. Henry gets hold of Angle’s hand though and starts cranking, before dropping Angle ribs first across the top rope. After a trip to the floor with Henry wrecking the steps for no reason, they head back inside with Henry dropping onto his chest for two. The bearhug goes on but Angle slips out and goes for the ankle lock. Henry powers out so Angle hits the German suplex.

The Angle Slam connects for two and the straps go down, setting up another ankle lock. Henry powers out again and the referee gets bumped. Angle goes for a chair, which he uses on Daivari for trying to cut him off. Henry takes the chair from Angle, so it’s a low blow to slow Henry down. Two chair shots to the head give Angle two so he unhooks a turnbuckle pad. Henry goes face first and it’s a rollup with a grab of the rope to retain.

Rating: D. Well that didn’t work. Rey Mysterio got a better match out of Henry on Smackdown and Angle had to cheat over and over to survive here. They might have been able to do something with some more time, but at about nine and a half minutes, there wasn’t much that they could pull off as Angle had to spend the last few minutes cheating to keep the title. I get protecting Henry, but dang this was a rough sit.

Post match Angle celebrates but the gong sounds. Flanked by druids, Undertaker comes to the ring in a horse drawn chariot before motioning that he wants the title. Some lighting goes off at the posts and the ring collapses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. There’s nothing on here worth seeing, as the Rumble is middle of the road at best, the World Title matches were never in doubt, and nothing was especially good. It’s a weird time in WWE as they’re trying to gear up for Wrestlemania but other than exploiting Eddie’s death, there isn’t much that can be done to fire up interest at the moment. Wrestlemania doesn’t look promising, but it does feel like it’s a long way off, which isn’t a good sign either. The show isn’t terrible, but it also isn’t anything you need to see.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Hard To Kill 2022
Date: January 8, 2022
Location: The Bomb Factory, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, D’Lo Brown

The company is back on pay per view for one of only four times this year. The show has some big matches set, including Matt Cardona and W. Morrissey challenging Moose for the World Title in a three way, plus Knockouts Champion Mickie James defending against Deonna Purrazzo in a Texas Deathmatch. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Madman Fulton vs. Jake Something

Fulton forearms him to the floor to start but can’t chokeslam him off the apron. Instead, he settles for knocking Jake into the ring and unloading in the corner. A neckbreaker gets two on Jake and a high crossbody gives Fulton two. Jake fights up in a hurry and clotheslines him outside though, setting up a big dive. Back in and a Batista Bomb gets two but Fulton grabs him by the throat and nips up from the mat (that was cool). The chokeslam gets two but Fulton tries it again, allowing Jake to slip out. Into the Void gives Jake the fast pin at 5:26.

Rating: C. Perfectly fine way to warm up the crowd as Fulton was getting to show off and Jake pulled off a come from behind win. That being said, Fulton was getting to showcase himself even more here and continues to look like a star. He’s fine as Ace Austin’s enforcer, but that ceiling could break rather soon.

Pre-Show: Mike Bailey vs. Ace Austin vs. Chris Bey vs. Laredo Kid

One fall to a finish and this is Bailey’s debut. Bailey offers handshakes to start but only Kid accepts. Bey and Ace are kicked out to the floor, leaving Kid and Bailey to run the ropes. Kid clears the ring of Bailey and the returning Bey but Austin dropkicks Kid out of the air. Bey comes back in and kicks Kid’s leg out but Bailey dropkicks Bey and Austin down at the same time.

Bailey and Kid hit stereo dives to the floor but Bey, not to be outdone, flip dives onto all three. Austin Fosbury flops onto everyone too, only to have Kid catch Bailey on top with a springboard Spanish Fly onto Austin and Bey (because of course he can do that). Back in and Kid hits two moonsaults on Bailey but Austin breaks up the third. Bey cutters Austin down and Kid adds a springboard splash but Bailey is back in to kick Bey down. A running spinning kick catches Austin in the face and shooting star knees to a standing Austin’s back gives Bayley the pin at 8:10.

Rating: B-. This was your get to know Bailey match and he showcased himself rather well. Sometimes you need to let someone go out there and show what they can do, which is what you got here with Bailey. Pinning Austin is a big deal so Bailey should be fine going forward. Kid continues to look like a star while Bey is doing well too. The X-Division continues to look good, so get one of these guys after the title.

The opening video features a bunch of people (Eddie Edwards, Rosemary, Rich Swann etc.) talking about various horrible injuries they have suffered. All of them have come back though, because they will never forget and are hard to kill.

Chelsea Green vs. Tasha Steelz vs. Lady Frost vs. Jordynne Grace vs. Alisha vs. Rosemary

It’s the first ever women’s Ultimate X match and the winner gets a Knockouts Title shot. Alisha is a last minute addition, replacing Rachael Ellering for no given reason. Everyone stares at each other for a bit before Steelz and Grace go straight for the X. That’s broken up of course and it’s time for a bunch of quickly broken climbs. Grace and Rosemary are left alone in the ring as Savannah Evans (Steelz’s partner) comes to the ring.

That doesn’t matter as Havok gives Rosemary a boost towards the X, only to have Green break it up with a missile dropkick. Green and Alisha climbs the same structure but then dive down onto everyone else instead of going after the X. Frost hits a dive of her own but Grace is right there to cut off a climb. Grace goes for the X instead so Frost jumps on her…to no avail as Grace hangs on. Well of course she’s that strong.

Rosemary’s powerbomb to Frost is countered into a hurricanrana though, meaning Steelz has to pull Grace down instead. Green goes for the X this time but falls, landing on Steelz for a scary crash. Alisha whips out Kendra and beats up a variety of people before going up herself. Rosemary cuts that off with a spear, which winds up being a flapjack as Alisha lands face first.

Steelz goes up but Grace goes with the chase to pull both of them down at the same time. With everyone else down, Frost goes up and moonsaults off the structure onto a bunch of people (who can be seen checking on each other). Back up and Grace, Steelz and Green all go up, with Grace falling down in a crash. The X is pulled down but it’s Steelz crashing down with possession for the win at 9:13.

Rating: C+. This was about making history and having the women get the chance to do something like this for a change. The spots were big, but there are only so many things you can do in a match like this one. Steelz winning is a big of a surprise, but she could be fine as a one off challenger on a monthly special. They had a good first time here though and it’s cool to see the women getting a chance in a match like this.

Trailer for the movie Free Fall, the show’s sponsor.

We run down the rest of the card.

Mickie James is ready for the Royal Rumble (this continues to be weird) but tonight, she is ready to put Deonna Purrazzo down for ten.

Deonna Purrazzo is ready to walk out as the Knockouts Champion because she has a plan B. Cue Gail Kim to say if Matthew Rehwoldt (presumably plan B) interferes, he’s fired and Purrazzo loses.

X-Division Title: Trey Miguel vs. Steve Maclin

Maclin is challenging in his final shot at the title and dives on Miguel in the aisle. Miguel manages a dropkick though and gets inside for a suicide dive DDT. They get inside for the opening bell, with Miguel getting tied in the Tree of Woe. That doesn’t really matter as he escapes in a hurry and hits a heck of a suicide dive to the floor, landing in the crowd on the crash.

Maclin isn’t having this and sends Miguel hard into the barricade. Back in and a Rock Bottom backbreaker has Miguel in more trouble, setting up a running clothesline to knock him silly. Another Rock Bottom out of the corner gets two and Maclin is getting confident. There’s a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two on Miguel, who rolls outside, allowing Maclin to hit an elbow off the apron.

Back in and Miguel manages a quick headscissors into a double stomp to the ribs to get a breather. A springboard Downward Spiral sends Maclin onto the apron but he ties Miguel in the ropes for a heck of a spear to the banged up ribs. Mayhem For All is loaded up but Miguel reverses into a headscissors driver. They slug it out on the apron with Miguel getting the better of things. That’s enough to let Miguel go up top for a crazy Meteora out to the floor in the huge crash. Back in and a brainbuster sets up the top rope Meteora to retain Miguel’s title at 12:55.

Rating: B-. This was a nicely played formula, as Miguel got beaten up but held on and fought back for the win. It’s a good way to wrap up Maclin’s time as the main challenger as there are probably half a dozen wrestlers ready to come after Miguel’s title. Maclin is someone I could go for more of, as he is a perfectly fine midcard hand, which can always be used in some way.

The Influence say the IInspiration not showing up for their Tag Team Title match isn’t very professional. The title match can happen, but it is only going to be on January 27 in the company’s debut in Fort Lauderdale.

Ian Riccaboni joins commentary for the next match.

Ring of Honor World Title: Chris Sabin vs. Jonathan Gresham

Gresham is defending and it is under Pure Rules, meaning each wrestler only gets three rope breaks, closed fist punches are not allowed (warning for the first, DQ for the second) and 20 counts on the floor. Gresham flips out of a wristlock to start as they’re going technical early. Sabin flips him over and that’s good enough for a handshake. A takedown lets Gresham work on the leg but Sabin pulls him into a cradle for two.

You don’t do that to Gresham, who ties up the arms and cranks on the leg at the same time. Back up and Sabin sends him outside, setting up a hard kick to the chest to drop Gresham hard. They get back inside and fight over a backslide until Sabin plants him with a DDT for two. A hanging swinging neckbreaker drops Gresham again so he uses his first rope break to escape.

Gresham is fine enough to moonsault Sabin down and stomp on the arm, setting up the armbar with elbows to the head. Sabin has to use his first rope break to escape an armbar so Gresham slaps on the Octopus. That’s broken up as well and Sabin hits the Cradle Shock for three….but Gresham’s foot is underneath the rope for the second break. After the premature celebration ends, they lock hands to trade a bunch of chops. Make that overhand chops to the chest before they exchange enziguris. Sabin tries another enziguri but Gresham pulls him down into something close to a European Clutch to retain the title at 12:40.

Rating: B. That’s the kind of match you can expect from Gresham and it was another good one. He can work with anyone and the fact that it was someone like Sabin, who can hang in there with that style very easily made it even better. It’s so nice to see the Ring of Honor World Title sticking around, though I’m still not sure what the future holds for the whole thing. This was quite good though and a nice bonus for the pay per view.

Respect is shown post match.

Tasha Steelz is proud of her win and is ready for either Deonna Purrazzo or Mickie James.

We recap Josh Alexander vs. Jonah. Alexander won the World Title at Bound For Glory but lost it to Moose the same night. That sent Alexander into a rage but Jonah debuted and attacked him, leaving Alexander injured. Then Jonah did it again to leave Alexander laying again.

Josh Alexander vs. Jonah

They stare each other down until Alexander kicks him in the face to start. Alexander hammers away in the corner but gets knocked down for his efforts. Jonah’s backsplash misses so Alexander knocks him outside, where Jonah scores with some hard chops. Alexander ties the leg in the ropes and stomps down to take over, sending Jonah back outside. That goes badly for Alexander again, as Jonah drives him ribs first into the apron.

Back in and Jonah drops him ribs first onto the top turnbuckle before tossing Alexander around with ease. Neither of them can get a backslide so Jonah drops him ribs first across the top rope instead. The over the shoulder backbreaker stays on the ribs but Alexander slips out to chop away. Some slaps to the face earn Alexander a heck of a forearm, but he’s fine enough to start kicking at the leg.

Alexander dumps him over the top, with Jonah landing on his leg again. A hard right hand knocks Jonah into the front row and Alexander hits a huge dive to take him down again. That’s only good for a nine so Alexander goes right back to the knee. Alexander takes way too long going up so Jonah crotches him down.

One heck of a top rope superplex drops Alexander again before a powerbomb plants him hard. Jonah’s clothesline turns Alexander inside out and a brainbuster gets two more. Some headbutts have Alexander busted open but he’s able to avoid a moonsault. Alexander manages a powerbomb before stomping on the ankle. The ankle lock makes Jonah tap at 17:07.

Rating: B. This was the best way to have the match go, as Alexander fought through an injury to overcome the monster. Alexander needed this win after dropping the World Title in about five minutes, so while it’s annoying to see Jonah lose so soon, it is probably the best outcome. Alexander vs. Moose is going to happen at some point and this should clear the path for the April pay per view. Good match too, as Alexander can do no wrong at the moment.

Rich Swann, Willie Mack, Eddie Edwards, Rhino and Heath are ready for their Hardcore War against Violent By Design and the Good Brothers.

We recap the Hardcore War. Everyone is sick of Violent By Design but the Good Brothers see a chance to get rid of two tag teams. Eddie Edwards is here because he has nothing else to do.

Violent By Design/Good Brothers vs. Rhino/Heath/Eddie Edwards/Rich Swann/Willie Mack

This is basically WarGames with one ring and no cage. Two men start for three minutes and every ninety seconds, someone from the winning team (Violent By Design/Good Brothers) joins in for an advantage. Ninety seconds later, someone from Team Edwards ties it up, with the teams alternating until all ten men (or eight according to the graphic) are in. After that, first pin or submission wins.

Deaner and Rich Swann start things off with Swann missing an early chair shot. Instead Swann punches him down and hits his rolling splash. The chair is wedged in the corner but Deaner gets in a trashcan shot. Swann is sent face first into the chair in the corner and it’s a Russian legsweep with a flag pole to drop him again. Karl Anderson, with a golf club, gives the villains the advantage but Swann kicks him in the face. The golf club goes into Anderson’s ribs but Deaner is back up with a chair shot.

Willie Mack ties things up and it’s time to bridge a door between two open chairs. Something close to a 3D sends Deaner through the table but Doc Gallows gives the villains another advantage. Deaner is back up to pelt a piece of door at Swann’s head and they do it again for a bonus. Eddie Edwards ties it up again and it’s time for some rapid fire suicide dives to the villains. Everyone heads outside to pick up the brawling and a table is set up.

Cue Eric Young with trashcan lid shots to Eddie though as the advantage is back. Edwards gets group choked in the corner and a trashcan lid to the head makes it worse. Heath comes in to even it up again, complete with a pipe to take over. Mack’s moonsault with a trashcan only hits trashcan and here is Joe Doering to complete Violent By Design and company. Mack and Swann get powerbombed off the top at the same time and the bloody Eddie gets a chain raked across his face.

Rhino completes the field and cleans house with the chain on his hand. Everyone gets up for the big NXT WarGames style standoff as the last seventeen plus minutes are completely forgotten. Edwards is left alone in the ring with Young so he breaks Kenny the kendo stick over Young’s head. Young is sent to the apron, where he manages a piledriver to send Edwards through a table.

It’s time for the barbed wire board, because that’s always a good idea. That’s fine with Doering, who hits a running Death Valley Driver to send Swann through said board. Rhino is back up to clean house with his chain though and Heath adds a mini Dallas Cowboys helmet shot to Anderson. The Gore gives Heath the pin on Anderson at 23:27.

Rating: B-. Your mileage is going to vary on this as it was a wild brawl, as promised, but the short intervals and huge crowd hurt it a lot. This is a match that would have been much better off with eight, or even six people, but bigger means better is the motto of modern wrestling. There is a good chance that this is the beginning of the end of Violent By Design and that might be for the best, as they have kind of run their course. What we got was good, but this needed to be trimmed down a bit.

Post match the winners celebrate….but Mike Bennett and Matt Taven from Ring of Honor jump them from behind. Cue Ring of Honor’s Vincent and PCO to decimate the winning team. A spike piledriver plants Mack and PCO flip dives off the top to drive Swann into the apron. Maria Kanellis comes in to pose with the Ring of Honor guys as we have an invasion (and an interesting one at that).

Scott D’Amore didn’t know that was coming and is off to call Baltimore (Ring of Honor’s headquarters).

We recap Moose defending the World Title against Matt Cardona and W. Morrissey. Cardona earned the title shot by pinning Moose in a tag match while Morrissey attacked Moose to say he wanted in too. It’s about Cardona proving he belongs and Morrissey wanting the title.

Impact World Title: Moose vs. Matt Cardona vs. W. Morrissey

Moose is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Cardona gets sent outside to start and Morrissey boots Moose down for an early two. Everyone winds up outside, with Moose powerbombing Cardona onto the apron. Back in and Morrissey hits some running splashes in the corner until Moose crossbodies him down. The middle rope chokebomb gives Moose two, with Cardona making the save. A bunch of Reboots rock the giants so Cardona goes up, meaning it’s a Tower of Doom for the big crash.

Moose takes Cardona outside for a hard whip into the barricade but here is Chelsea Green to dive onto Moose for a save. They head back to ringside where Morrissey runs them over and sends Cardona back inside. Cardona manages a Codebreaker to send Morrissey outside so Moose takes his place. For some reason Moose goes up top but gets shoved down hard through a table at ringside.

Someone sends in a prosthetic leg and Morrissey beats on Cardona with it. A quick Radio Silence gives Cardona two but he walks into a chokeslam to give Morrissey two. Cardona is right back up and hits a quick middle rope Radio Silence for another near fall. Moose is back in and gets rolled up for two but the referee gets bumped. Back in and Morrissey hits a powerbomb on Moose for no count so let’s bring in some chairs.

Moose hits Morrissey low for a breather and chairs him down, but Cardona is back in with chair shots of his own. Cardona gets caught by a chair shot from Moose though, drawing Green in to protect him. That lets Cardona get up and nearly chair her down again, only to have the replacement referee get bumped as well. The spear cuts Cardona down and the original referee counts the pin to retain Moose’s title at 15:57.

Rating: B-. This was about as good as it could have been as it was kind of hard to imagine a title change. Cardona was trying and they were going for the Cinderella story, but that is only going to get you so far when you have a dominant champion. Morrissey was just kind of there and this would have been a little more interesting as a one on one match, but it was still fine for a co-main event.

Rebellion is April 23.

We recap Deonna Purrazzo vs. Mickie James for the Knockouts Title. James won the title in an upset at Bound For Glory and Purrazzo isn’t handling it well. It’s time for a rematch, but in a Texas Deathmatch.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Deonna Purrazzo

Mickie is defending in a Texas Deathmatch, meaning Last Woman Standing, but a fall has to be scored to start the ten count. They lock up and go to the mat to start with James grabbing a very early rollup for two as the mind games are on. A hot shot cuts Mickie down and the Venus de Milo goes on, so Mickie taps out in a hurry to escape (that’s smart). It’s time to throw in some chairs (because doing that in the last two matches wasn’t enough) and Mickie manages to chair her across the back.

The golf club from earlier is brought out for a shot to Purrazzo’s ribs but she posts Mickie for a breather. They fight up the ramp with Purrazzo hitting a suplex on the stage, allowing her to roll an anvil case into Mickie’s face for the pin. Mickie is busted open but beats the count and they head back inside. A half crab sends Purrazzo to the ropes, which means nothing, but Mickie lets go and dropkicks her to the floor.

Mickie takes her chaps off so she can hit Purrazzo in the face with her braced knee. A table is brought in but Purrazzo sends her face first into it instead. It’s time for thumbtacks, because those are required these days. Mickie gets dropped onto the tacks for the loud screaming portion and some choking with the chaps are good for a submission. Purrazzo isn’t waiting on Mickie to get up and dives off the apron to take her down again.

Back in and Purrazzo gets smart by chairing Mickie in the legs over and over. For some reason Purrazzo goes up top, allowing Mickie to blast her in the head with a chair (though Mickie collapsing into the tacks takes away some of the positives). A Thesz press off the apron pins Purrazzo but here is Matthew Rehwoldt to help her up, which doesn’t count as cheating (I guess?).

Back in and Purrazzo hits the Queen’s Gambit through a table for the pin but Mickie is up at 8. Mickie is fine enough to grab a guitar….so Purrazzo hits her low, allowing Mickie to the Wrestlemania XXII finger lick. Ok then. The guitar hits Rehwoldt and the MickieDT plants Purrazzo for the pin. Just to be sure, Mickie covers her with a table and chair for the ten count to retain at 19:45.

Rating: B+. They got extra violent here and it played up their hatred, though the quick falls and submissions were a little strange (logical, but strange). Mickie retaining makes sense as you want your best going into the Royal Rumble, which really will be the best exposure the company has had in a long time. This was a heck of a fight and the right choice for the main event, though Last Woman Standing might have been a better call (as would dropping the finger lick thing, which was a weird callback).

Overall Rating: A-. I’m not sure if I should be surprised but Impact just put on one heck of a great show. There is nothing bad on the entire card with one very good to great match after another. Impact tends to be at its best when they cut out all of the nonsense and just go with the straight wrestling. The show isn’t perfect as it went a bit too hard with the violence during the last hour or so, but this is absolutely worth a look as they nailed this one on almost all counts. The Ring of Honor stuff has me intrigued too, which is more than I can say about almost anything Impact has done in a long time. Great job.

Results
Tasha Steelz won Ultimate X
Trey Miguel b. Steve Maclin – Top rope Meteora
Jonathan Gresham b. Chris Sabin – European Clutch
Josh Alexander b. Jonah – Ankle lock
Eddie Edwards/Heath/Rhino/Willie Mack/Rich Swann b. Violent By Design/Good Brothers – Gore to Deaner
Moose b. Matt Cardona and W. Morrissey – Lights Out to Cardona
Mickie James b. Deonna Purrazzo – MickieDT

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 6, 2007
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We have less than a month to go before Summerslam and that means we need to keep going towards John Cena vs. Randy Orton. Other than that, we might be seeing more of King Booker vs. Jerry Lawler, which actually didn’t wrap up after one week. Maybe we get something else set up this week, which might be a good idea. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Vince McMahon returned earlier today and wants the roster out in the arena. As a citizen of the United States, he will be exercising his freedom of expression tonight.

Opening sequence.

Here is the entire locker room, so Vince McMahon joins them. Vince says the last time he was on Raw, he was blown to smithereens. We see a clip of said blowing and said smithereens, which is how Vince wanted to go out. Why though? Well that’s because Vince wanted to stage his own demise so he could see how people felt about him. Vince is going to talk about some things he doesn’t like, such as the United States Congress and some members of his family. We’ll get to that later, because right now, we’re going to have a battle royal, with the winner becoming the new General Manager (Coach does NOT approve).

Battle Royal

Trevor Murdoch, Umaga, Beth Phoenix, Maria, Candice Michelle, Melina, Mickie James, Rory, Robbie, Jim Duggan, Sandman, William Regal, Mr. Kennedy, Super Crazy, Lance Cade, Val Venis, Paul London, Brian Kendrick, Carlito, Cody Rhodes, Shelton Benjamin, Shad Gaspard, JTG, King Booker, Daivari

That’s either everyone or almost everyone. Umaga scares off Phoenix, Maria, Michelle, Melina and James before throwing Murdoch out as well. Crazy, London, Robbie and JTG are all put out by Umaga in a hurry and Booker joins then due to excessive yelling at Jerry Lawler. Umaga tosses Gaspard as the ring is a lot more clear. We take a break and come back with Haas having been eliminated during the break and Rory joining him after the commercial.

Venis dumps Cade but gets knocked out by Umaga, who goes after Kendrick…and they eliminate each other in a weirdly sudden ending for the guy who had dominated so far. Kennedy is tossed as well as Umaga Samoa Spikes Haas on the ramp. We’re down to Sandman, Rhodes, Duggan, Benjamin, Carlito and Regal, the latter of whom is on the floor without being eliminated (uh oh).

Carlito and Benjamin get rid of Duggan and it’s time for the final four (or so) to pair off. Rhodes skins the cat to save himself but Carlito tosses him anyway. Sandman goes up for no logical reason, allowing Benjamin to run the corner and superplex him back down. Benjamin and Carlito go to the apron for a fight so Sandman knocks them out, only to have Regal come in from behind and toss Sandman for the win and the job.

Rating: C-. The best thing I can say about this is that it went by fast, but at the same time it had the most annoying battle royal ending imaginable. That being said, I can go with more Regal on TV every single week because he really is someone who could be used in a bigger way. Not much of a match, but a good result.

Post match Regal, who has one boot off, does some Hindu squats, because the ankle injury he claimed earlier in the match was A RUSE!

In the back, Coach is unhappy with Regal winning the match but Vince McMahon goes on a rant about the letters he has received from two different Congressional committees. He talks about President Benjamin Franklin before telling Coach that he is Regal’s assistant. Now get the Earl Grey ready.

Video on HHH, who is returning at Summerslam.

King Booker doesn’t like HHH calling himself a king because he is just a pretender. Jerry Lawler is a pretender as well, which Booker will prove when he beats Lawler tonight. That is why Booker has set up a ceremony next week at Madison Square Garden, where the loser has to crown the winner.

Snitsky vs. Rory

Pumphandle slam finishes Rory in less than thirty seconds.

Coach brings Vince McMahon a phone call from his counselor. Apparently the IRS is investigating Vince too, so the media will have a field day. Vince says the media and wrestling are both in the entertainment business. He storms off….and IRS is reading a newspaper.

Jillian Hall comes to the ring for her match and offers Lilian Garcia a chance to hear with her…but no one wants to hear Lilian sing. Jillian starts singing Hit Me Baby One More Time but gets cut off.

Jillian Hall vs. Mickie James

Mickie gets taken down for a double arm crank to start but flips her way to freedom in a hurry. A neckbreaker gives Mickie two but Jillian catches her on top. What would become the Skull Crushing Finale finishes James in a hurry.

Coach meets with William Regal….who wants him to set up the WWE version of the Dating Game. Oh and get him some tea.

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana. Things went so well on the debut episode that he thought he would have the same guest this week. Cue John Cena, who looks rather serious as he gets in Carlito’s face. Carlito gets shoved into the chair and Cena is going to be hosting this himself. Cena interviews himself, saying that he isn’t happy with an apple being spat in his face last week.

We see a clip, with Cena asking himself about the other guy at ringside last week. That would be Randy Orton, so Cena says the Champ Is Here and still will be at Summerslam. Other than that, Cena has three reasons why he shouldn’t trash the show and beat up Carlito. After two jokes about Carlito’s sexual practices, the fight is on but here is Orton for a distraction. That doesn’t work so here is William Regal to say that Randy Orton and Carlito are going to get to pick Cena’s opponent tonight.

Post break, Carlito and Orton pick Umaga to face Cena tonight. The two of them leave and Vince McMahon thinks his wife and kids wanted him gone. That means he needs to get them back together and nothing can stop him.

Jerry Lawler vs. King Booker

Queen Sharmell is here with Booker and the loser has to crown the winner next week. Booker powers him into the corner to start but Lawler punches him out to the floor in a hurry. Back in and more right hands put Booker in more trouble but he knocks Lawler down for two. A kick to Lawler’s face sets up some stomping and we hit the overhand wristlock. Booker kicks him down again and the chinlock goes on. That’s broken up again and Lawler punches him out to the floor, where he punches even more. Lawler stops to glare at Sharmell though, allowing Booker to hit the ax kick for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was closer to what I was expecting last week, but Lawler had almost no fire throughout the entire thing. Booker winning was the only way to go with the big HHH match seemingly on the horizon. The ending just kind of came and went too, making this quite the weak match.

We look at Mr. Kennedy injuring Bobby Lashley last week.

JR tells us that Lashley needs shoulder surgery and will be out of action.

Here is Mr. Kennedy for a chat. Kennedy asks what Bobby Lashley is hearing right now. It is something everyone will be hearing from now on: KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY1 KENNEDY! And we go to a break.

And now (oh boy) it’s the Dating Game. We have three eligible bachelors, Jim Duggan (who hides his wedding ring and has a massive piece of wood), Ron Simmons and Santino Marella, and a contestant, Maria. She gets to ask a bunch of questions, including why how Duggan does with managers. Duggan: “I won’t call you a HOOOOO!” Ron Simmons would make her SPAM in bed. Santino says it’s him, but Maria thinks it’s a bad impression.

Simmons is asked which war he would go back and end. Simmons: “NAM!” Santino accuses the other two of not liking babies and puppies, so Duggan tells him to go back to Italy and leave the good old USA, USA, USA! A fight nearly breaks out so Regal tells Maria to make her pick already. She picks Simmons, sending Santino into a panic. Simmons tells him to SCRAM but Santino wants Maria to leave with him. Cue Umaga to chase everyone off. This had a few funny lines (read as, anytime Simmons talked) and I could go for more Regal shenanigans, but it ran longer than it needed to.

Coach accepts a summons for Vince McMahon and upon seeing what it is, knows that he has to go find Vince.

John Cena vs. Umaga

Non-title. Cena hammers away to start but gets sent into the corner for a hard chop. A headbutt drops Cena again and Umaga hits an even harder shoulder. Cena pops back up with the Throwback but you don’t do that to a Samoan’s head, as Umaga nails a quick spinwheel kick. We take a break and come back with Cena fighting out of a nerve hold. Cena can’t get the FU, but he can manage to knock Umaga down and grab the STFU. Cue Carlito and Randy Orton for the DQ.

Rating: C. These two could have a good match in their sleep and this was probably the main part of many a house show main events. That being said, this was all about jumping Cena in the end so they didn’t quite get out of second gear. Nothing to see here, but Cena moving Umaga around is always pretty cool.

Post match, Carlito and Orton tell Umaga to go after Cena….but he lays both of them out instead. Cue Regal, to make Cena/Oomanga vs. Carlito/Orton for next week.

Vince McMahon is in the back and talks to some of the roster. He goes outside like he did on the night of the exploding limo (wrestling is weird) and walks to his white limousine, goes to close the door….and gets cut off by Coach. The papers from earlier say that Vince is being served in a paternity suit. There is another McMahon out there somewhere. Vince shakes his head to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Not much to this one as it was mainly focused on two stories. The battle royal gave us a good result but the Cena vs. the world stuff was only so good. Summerslam didn’t get much attention this week but it seems that they are going to be focusing on Cena vs. Orton and not much else. They still have time to get somewhere with it though and it should all work out when some more stuff is added.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 30, 2007
Location: Tucson Convention Center, Tucson, Arizona
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on Summerslam and now we have a big time main event with Randy Orton challenging John Cena for the Raw World Title. That alone is almost enough to carry the Raw side but they could add in a few more things to boost things up a bit. One thing that won’t be included is Jeff Hardy, who has been suspended for thirty days for violating company policy. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Randy Orton becoming the new #1 contender and laying out John Cena to end last week’s show.

Here is John Cena for a chat. Cena is ready for a WWE Title match at the biggest party of the summer and he is ready to face Randy Orton. They got started fast with Orton making an opening statement. Great Khali did it, Bobby Lashley did it, and now Orton did it and CENA WAS DOWN! Orton got the first chapter right, but now he needs to flip to the final chapter, which will have the same four words that we’ve had since September: THE CHAMP IS HERE!

Cue Carlito of all people, to say that Cena is a lucky man, because he is the first guest on the new and improved Carlito’s Cabana. The set is thrown together in a hurry and Cena has a seat as Carlito asks him why he is a liar. We hear about Carlito beating Cena in his debut (because we are bringing this up AGAIN), with Cena throwing in the stabbing in the club.

Cena says that was three years ago, when Britney Spears was still hot, when Michael Jackson wasn’t creepy, when Abraham Lincoln wrestled a bear on the White House lawn and when Lindsay Lohan did her first line…..of dialogue. Cena: “It was Herbie: Fully Loaded! We all saw it!” Carlito says he has Cena’s number but here is Mr. Kennedy to interrupt. Kennedy says he should be #1 contender because Carlito has apples but no grapefruits.

They get in an argument about who should be #1 contender ala Daffy and Bugs. Kennedy: “KENNEDY!” Carlito: “CARLITO!” Cena: “RANDY ORTON!” Cena talks about how Orton is #1 contender because he earned it, not by having a mic drop or stuttering on your last name. If they want to do something, Kennedy should challenge Bobby Lashley and Carlito can do something for the first time in three years by facing Cena himself. This was your usual interrupting segment but at least they set things up.

Melina/Jillian Hall/Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle/Mickie James/Maria

Santino Marella is here with Maria and company. Maria cranks on Beth’s arm to start and it’s off to Mickie to stay on said arm. That doesn’t work for Beth, who powers her into the corner and brings Melina in. Mickie clotheslines her down and it’s off to Candice for a sloppy looking double rolling flip (they aren’t as good as the Hardys). Jillian comes in to take Candice down by the hair as we go to a wide shot for some reason. A Russian legsweep gets Candice out of trouble though and Maria comes into clean house. Everything breaks down and Jillian lifts Maria up for a running faceplant from Melina for the pin.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t a great match, but you could tell that they were having to cram in a bunch of stuff into just over three minutes. You can’t get very far with six women in that length of time and it was showing badly here. The division is getting better though, in that it is an actual division for the first time in a good while.

Post break, the women are gone but Santino is still here to blame the referee for Maria’s loss. We have an interruption though.

Umaga vs. Santino Marella

Non-title and the Samoan Spike finishes in about a minute. A heel turn is a good idea for him as there is nothing to him outside of being Italian so this is a needed change.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell hope that HHH is watching Booker beat up Jerry Lawler tonight.

Cody Rhodes comes in to see Coach and we see a clip of Randy Orton attacking Dusty Rhodes last week. After a long (and readily produced) video, Coach says that Cody can’t go after revenge on Orton. As for Cody’s career, he’s 0-2 so he needs to go win his match. Win and stay, but lose and leave. Cody thanks Coach for showing him the footage.

Randy Orton is ready to compete tonight but doesn’t have an opponent. Cue Sgt. Slaughter of all people to say he’ll do it because Orton is a maggot.

Daivari vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody cuts off Daivari’s pre-match rant and we’re ready to go in a hurry. Daivari shrugs off some early right hands in the corner and sends him into the corner. We’re already on the neck crank as the fans chant USA. Cody hits a crossbody and bulldog for two, followed by a Dustin Rhodes powerslam. A pretty good DDT finishes Daivari in a hurry.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley powers him down to start and grabs a front facelock to limited avail. Back up and Kennedy gets punched into the corner, setting up the vertical suplex. The threat of a spear sends Kennedy bailing to the floor, where he kicks Lashley’s shoulder into the steps. Back in and we hit the logical armbar to stay on Lashley’s bad shoulder. The arm is snapped across the top rope for two and the referee considers stopping the match. Another armbar has to be broken up and Lashley makes the comeback. The spear is loaded up but Kennedy kicks him in the arm and gets the clean pin.

Rating: C. That was a rather surprising result with Lashley going from the top of the show to losing clean in about six minutes. Granted the fact that he had a legitimate shoulder injury and needed surgery might have had something to do with it. As a result, that would be the last Lashley match around here for over ten years, as he would need months off to recover and then be released. It’s great to see Kennedy get the credit for injuring him, which isn’t something that is done nearly often enough. You have something handed to you, so run with the thing.

We recap King Booker vs. Jerry Lawler, which started over Booker’s obsession with being the only king.

King Booker vs. Jerry Lawler

Queen Sharmell is here with Booker. They stare each other down to start and circle a bit until Lawler scores with some shots to the face. More right hands knock Booker down in the corner but he comes back with a spinning kick to drop Lawler. Back up and the strap comes down to start Lawler’s comeback, meaning it’s time for a bunch of right hands. An elbow gets three but Booker’s foot is on the ropes to kill the celebration. Back up and Booker kicks him in the face again before hammering away in the corner enough to draw a DQ.

Rating: C-. This was a bit confusing as you would think that Booker would pin Lawler when he seems to be set for a big showdown with HHH at Summerslam. Lawler is still great at everything he does though and can draw a crowd in without much effort. Odds are we’re getting a rematch, which I guess is serving as a surrogate since HHH isn’t around.

Post match Lawler is back up and jumps Booker on the ramp. The beating is on until referees break it up.

Cryme Tyme vs. John Mason/Brandon Gatson

JTG punches Mason down to start so it’s off to Gaspard to beat up Gatson. The G9 is good for the pin on Gat on in a hurry.

Post match, Cryme Tyme steals Watson’s boots and offers them to the crowd, with the starting bid at $10,000, cash only. That’s dropped to $5,000 and then all the way down to $20, with the autographs thrown in! Final sale price: $40. Pretty funny bit here with Cryme Tyme showing off some great charisma.

Randy Orton vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Lawler is back on commentary. Orton goes right for the leg to start and we’re in the chinlock early on. Slaughter fights up and grabs a quick cobra clutch but Orton is in the ropes in a hurry. A headbutt staggers Slaughter and the RKO finishes in a hurry.

Rating: D. I still don’t know why Slaughter is trotted out for matches like this, as it’s quite the downgrade from Orton beating up Dusty Rhodes to beating up Slaughter. You knew what you would be seeing as soon as Slaughter showed up, but at least they kept it short. This didn’t really make me want to see Cena beat Orton any more, and it would have been more effective to have him take out Lashley earlier tonight.

Carlito vs. John Cena

Non-title and Orton is at ringside. Cena grabs a headlock to start and messes with the hair, which is too far for Carlito. A way too early FU attempt lets Cena go after the hair again as Cena doesn’t seem to be taking this very seriously. Cena grabs the hair for a bulldog and hits a rather high backdrop. The fisherman’s suplex drops Carlito again and Cena glares down at Orton. Carlito avoids a charge though and grabs a neckbreaker for two. The chinlock goes on but Cena fights up in a hurry. Cena loads up the Shuffle but Orton offers a distraction, allowing Carlito to hit the Backstabber for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. This was more of an angle with a match included, as Carlito barely got in anything until the end. I know pinning Cena is a boost for Carlito, but it doesn’t do as much good when Cena beat him up and looked bored doing so at times. Then again, we’re pretty far beyond the point of Carlito being taken seriously so that shouldn’t be the biggest surprise.

Post match, Carlito spits the apple on Cena, who looks furious to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m not quite sure what to think here, as this was a show that didn’t really add anything new, but rather worked on what was already established. The problem is that it wasn’t a very good show with no matches worth seeing. While it wasn’t exactly a terrible show, it wasn’t one that you needed to watch and that is often worse. Maybe the Hardy situation changed a few things, but I can’t imagine it shook the show up that much. Orton vs. Cena is going to carry Summerslam on this side, so hopefully it’s more of the end of the show than the beginning.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.