Impact Wrestling
Date: July 22, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Matt Striker, D’Lo Brown

We are finally done with Slammiversary, which wound up being a heck of a show with a lot of surprises. Kenny Omega retained the World Title by defeating Sami Callihan but New Japan’s Jay White showed up to end the show in a big surprise. It’s time to start the long form crawl towards Bound For Glory so let’s get to it.

Here is Slammiversary if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of the title matches at Slammiversary.

Opening sequence, with a new version of the theme song. Dang the other one was catchier.

Chris Bey vs. Rohit Raju

Shera is here with Raju and this is fallout from both of them losing Ultimate X. Feeling out process to start with Raju grabbing a headlock. That goes nowhere as Bey takes him down, followed by both of them catching a boot to the ribs at the same time. Back up and they run the ropes until Raju sweeps the leg to take him down. Raju is sent to the apron, where he manages to snap the back of the neck over the ropes.

Back in and Raju faceplants him into a basement clothesline to the back of the head. A snap suplex gives Raju two and the chinlock goes on. That doesn’t last long so Raju takes him into the corner, where he misses a Cannonball. Bey is back with a Fameasser and a kick to the head in the corner. Raju’s jumping Downward Spiral gets two and he counters the Art of Finesse into the Crossface. That’s broken up so Bey hits him in the back of the head, setting up the Art of Finesse for the pin at 6:39.

Rating: C. Bey continues to feel like a star, but he needs to win something of note again sooner rather than later. He has been in a bit of a holding pattern since he lost the X-Division Title so maybe he can get somewhere else. Raju continues to stun me as I still can’t get over how far he has come in such a short amount of time. That’s very impressive and deserves some attention.

Post match, Bey runs into Jay White, who has sent him a message. White, the leader of the Bullet Club, says the team is always looking for talented guys. Bey says he has always been about himself, but White asks how that has been going for him.

Don Callis brags about Kenny Omega’s win and mocks Tommy Dreamer and Scott D’Amore over being more powerful than they are. Callis isn’t happy that Jay White is here, but the title is more valuable anyway.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

Here is Mickie James for a chat (Striker has already called her beautiful and a wonderful human being). Mickie is glad to be back and hear that song one more time. She is here to change the business and make it better, so she would like Knockouts Champion Deonna Purrazzo to come out here right now.

Cue Purrazzo, who isn’t happy that Mickie kicked her in the face at Slammiversary. Mickie offers her a match at NWA Empowered, but Purrazzo thinks Mickie is in this for herself. Cue Gail Kim, to say everyone wants this to be the biggest, and thinks Purrazzo should accept. Mickie talks about how Purrazzo needs to cement her legacy, and it can start with this. Purrazzo shakes her hand so the match is on.

The Drama King is coming.

Jake Something/Matt Cardona/Chelsea Green vs. Tenille Dashwood/Sam Beale/Brian Myers

Kaleb With A K is here with the villains. Jake throws Beale around to start and works on the arm before Cardona comes in for the flapjack. Cardona hammers on Myers in the corner but a Beale distraction lets him drop Cardona onto the buckle. The beating doesn’t last long though as Cardona gets over to Green to beat up Dashwood. A Backstabber plants Dashwood but Kaleb With A K breaks up the Unprettier. Cue the returning Taylor Wilde to take care of Kaleb With A K, leaving Green to hit the Unprettier for the pin on Beale at 4:04.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here with Green getting a win on Impact now that she is back. It’s fine enough to have her pin Beale too as he’s there to be a lackey and nothing more at the moment. The quality wasn’t the point here and it managed to keep a few matches going at the same time. Throw in Wilde being back and this was completely adequate.

We look at W. Morrissey using a chain to beat Eddie Edwards.

Eddie Edwards isn’t done with W. Morrissey and he’ll be waiting in the parking lot.

Post break, Morrissey heads to the parking lot and the fight with Edwards is on. Eddie cracks him in the back with a trashcan but Morrissey is back with an ice chest. Choking ensues and there’s another ice chest shot. Eddie manages to find a pair of Kenny the Kendo Sticks and some shots have Morrissey running away.

Brian Myers says he and Tenille Dashwood are ready for the homecoming tournament because she is under his learning tree. Just like Sam Beale, which has Dashwood pointing out the obvious problems. Dashwood is done with the tournament, so Beale promises to find a new partner. He even gets to talk to a girl! Beale: “Hi Gia.” Gia Miller is not impressed.

Here is Jay White for a chat. After we see a clip from after Slammiversary, with White being attacked by FinJuice but taking David Finlay out with the Blade Runner (swinging Downward Spiral), White introduces himself and lists off his nicknames and accomplishments. He is the real belt collector and he is here for one man: David Finlay. They have a match on August 14 and Finlay is trying to fix his family name. White: “Daddy must not be very proud.” Finlay already beat him in the New Japan Cup and that is never happening again. While he’s here though, he wants to see the Bullet Club fans, meaning the Good Brothers.

Those two have only ever mattered since they have been able to attach themselves to the Club’s name. Their application to rejoin the team is turned down, but if they want to appeal….and here is the Elite to interrupt. Don Callis talks about how the real Bullet Club went, and it was when these people were in it. We hear about White being a young boy and how this Bullet Club is a bunch of midcarders. If White was smart, he would be wanting to join the Elite.

White points out that he beat Kenny Omega the last time they faced each other but the Good Brothers say they have this. The Brothers take credit for the Bullet Club’s success, including heading to America so White and his friends could make a living. All they want is a thank you, but White says this is all the Brothers ever did.

White knows Anderson’s career peaked when he lost the 2012 G1 Climax. He is what they want to be, so the beatdown is on…..with Striker explaining the differences between the versions of the Club rather than talking about the fight taking place in front of his eyes. Chris Bey runs in for the save, with Striker babbling about how if you invert the initials of Bullet Club, you get CB, for Chris Bey! GET JOSH MATTHEWS BACK ALREADY!!! As for the segment, it was the latest example of “Japan is AWESOME” piece theater.

Josh Alexander says nothing is changing for him, because he’ll knock down the next challenger. Kenny Omega pops up to say he doesn’t think so.

The Good Brothers rant about Jay White, who is ungrateful. How about a tag match next week?

Ace Austin/Madman Fulton vs. FinJuice

Austin shoulders Finlay down to start but Finlay is back up with some arm cranking. Robinson comes in for a delayed vertical suplex, setting up the posing. Finlay’s backsplash misses though and it’s Fulton coming in as we take a break. Back with Finlay not being able to fight out of the corner as Fulton tosses him back in. Austin kicks him in the face for two and we hit the chinlock. A backdrop gets Finlay out of trouble though and it’s back to Robinson to clean house. The big left hand drops Austin but Fulton pulls the high crossbody out of the air. That’s fine with Robinson, who reverses into a sunset flip for the pin at 8:05.

Rating: C. This was another “hey we’re back” win from FinJuice. They’re growing on me as they do work well together when they get in the ring. Fulton and Austin losing again is a bit much, but at least they lost to a good team. The match itself wasn’t the point here, but rather reminding you that FinJuice is pretty snazzy, which worked well.

Post match, FinJuice fends off a beatdown but Shera and Rohit Raju run in for the real beating.

Rich Swann and Willie Mack don’t like Violent By Design blaming them for losing the Tag Team Titles. They know what it’s like to lose titles so if they want a fight, come see them next week. The lights go out and Violent By Design comes in for the beatdown.

Moose demands Scott D’Amore give him a rematch with Chris Sabin. Cue Sabin to say he’s in, with D’Amore making the match for next week.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: Fire N Flava vs. Rosemary/Havok

Rosemary and Havok, with the rest of Decay, are defending after winning the titles on the Slammiversary preshow. Kiera Hogan yells at Rosemary to start and gets taken down without much effort. Rosemary misses a spear though and Hogan shakes a finger at her. A side slam gives Rosemary two and it’s off to Havok for the power.

Havok crushes Tasha Steelz in the corner and hands it back to Rosemary. That means Hogan needs to offer a distraction to break up the Upside Down so the champs can be in trouble for the first time. Steelz hits some not very loud chops before stomping Rosemary down, setting up the camel clutch.

Rosemary pops up with the Sling Blade but doesn’t tag, allowing Hogan to take her back into the corner. The slugout is on until a double crossbody puts Rosemary and Hogan down. Havok comes in off the tag to clean house again until Steelz’ distraction lets Hogan get in a choke. It’s already back to Rosemary, but Steelz superkicks Hogan. A spear/Russian legsweep combination finishes Hogan at 11:32.

Rating: C. Another perfectly fine match which got a little time. Fire N Flava didn’t need to win here, though it seems like they might be done in the near future. What we got here worked out well enough though, as Rosemary and Havok needed a first defense. Who else were they supposed to beat?

Overall Rating: C. They hit the ground at least jogging after Slammiversary and that is something Impact does not do well most of the time. White felt like a huge star, but you’re only going to get so far with the Good Brothers. It seems like we are heading for another Bullet Club story, which may or may not have your highest level of interest. I get why Impact is doing this, but it would be nice to drop the outsiders for a little while. They won’t (and probably shouldn’t), but it would be nice.

Results
Chris Bey b. Rohit Raju – Art of Finesse
Chelsea Green/Matt Cardona/Jake Something b. Sam Beale/Brian Myers/Tenille Dashwood – Unprettier to Beale
FinJuice b. Ace Austin/Madman Fulton – Sunset flip to Fulton
Rosemary/Havok b. Fire N Flava – Spear/Russian legsweep combination to Hogan

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 19, 2007
Location: Rabobank Arena, Bakersfield, California
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with No Way Out and that means we have less than six weeks to go before Wrestlemania XXIII. The main events are set but we still need a bit more of the card to come together. That means we could be in for something good tonight, which will likely not include another appearance from Donald Trump. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a barber’s chair and barber shop pole in the ring (which is thankfully minus any windows). Vince McMahon comes out to say the Battle of the Billionaires is ready on and he can’t believe it. Donald Trump is going to come into his most prized creation, where Vince’s representative is going to beat him. Then McMahon is going to go over and beat Trump up, so that he can tell Trump that it’s time to be bald.

The good thing is that being bald is en vogue right now, so we look at Brittney Spears with her shaved head. Vince talks about the various haircuts he might give Trump, which means we get a McMahon favorite: WACKY PHOTOSHOPPED PICTURES!!! Anyway, Vince wants us to meet his personal representative, so here is Umaga. Armando Alejandro Estrada talks about how Umaga is happy to be Vince’s representative, but Vince isn’t done. Right now, Umaga is going to become…..the Intercontinental Champion!

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga

Umaga is challenging and we are joined in progress with Hardy sending Umaga outside. The baseball slide through the ropes staggers Umaga but the slingshot dive is pulled out of the air. That’s escaped as well so Hardy runs the barricade, only to have his dive knocked away with ease.

They head back in where Umaga drops a leg and we hit the nerve hold as Lawler talks about how horrible it is to have your head shaved. Hardy manages to avoid the charge in the corner so Umaga’s head slams into the post. The Whisper in the Wind gets two but Umaga catches him with the Samoan drop. The running hip attack in the corner sets up the Samoan Spike to give Umaga the pin and the title.

Rating: C. Hardy was the sacrificial lamb here and that’s all he was supposed to be. They needed to make Umaga look like a bigger deal going into his huge Wrestlemania match so putting him over a popular star like Hardy makes sense. Umaga winning the title is hardly some big upset so go with the right move here and everyone wins. Well maybe not Hardy.

Ric Flair/Carlito vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Torrie Wilson is here with Carlito and Flair, the latter of whom takes over on Cade’s arm to start. Carlito comes in for the springboard elbow to the face and the running knee lift. A distraction lets Cade hit a Side Effect though and Murdoch comes in to hammer away. The villains take turns stomping away and we hit the neck crank on Carlito.

A back elbow to the face puts him down again but Murdoch misses an elbow. It’s back to Flair for the rapid fire chops and right hands, setting up the chop block. The Figure Four is paused so Flair can punch Cade out of the air, allowing Carlito to come in for a double clothesline to the floor. Flair hits Murdoch low and the Backstabber gives Carlito the pin.

Rating: C-. Just a tag match here as Carlito and Flair are starting the mentor/mentee deal. Granted it might be a bit better if it was anyone but Carlito, though at least they have something going on here. I’m not sure how far this is going to go, but Flair in a midcard role to give Carlito a rub is going to work out well enough.

John Cena and Shawn Michaels are happy they won last night but Shawn’s goal is still to keep Cena safe until Wrestlemania. Violence is teased….but Shawn plugs the new DX DVD instead. Cena counters with the unrated version of the Marine DVD. They brag about their DVDs until Big Dick Johnson comes in to dance. Shawn superkicks him, earning a thank you from Cena.

Rated-RKO is getting a Tag Team Title shot next week and Randy Orton is ready to destroy John Cena tonight. Edge is more excited about Money in the Bank so he better go qualify.

We look at Edge winning Money in the Bank at Wrestlemania XXI.

We look at Rob Van Dam winning Money in the Bank at Wrestlemania XXII.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Edge vs. Rob Van Dam

Edge’s wristlock doesn’t get him very far to start as Van Dam slips away and hits the finger pointing. Some kicks put Edge into the corner for the monkey flip and it’s time to go to the floor for a break. Back with Van Dam working on an armbar and then cranking back on said arm for two. Rob knocks him outside and hits the spinning kick to the back over the barricade.

Edge is rocked but he is fine enough to come back with a hanging swinging neckbreaker. It’s Rob in trouble for the first time and Edge goes really evil by mocking the finger point. Dude, gimmick infringement is never cool. The chinlock goes on until Rob kicks him in the head for the break and there’s the running spinwheel kick in the corner. Rolling Thunder is loaded up but Edge reverses into a powerslam in a nice counter.

Edge crotches him on top but the superplex attempt is broken up with another crotching. Rob kicks him to the floor and follows with a nice dive. Back in and Edge dropkicks him out of the air for two, only to have the spear hit the corner. The split legged moonsault gives Van Dam two more and there’s the step over kick to the face. The Five Star is loaded up but Randy Orton comes out for the distraction, allowing Edge to hit the spear for the pin.

Rating: B-. These two were having a heck of a match and I was getting into the back and forth stuff to the point where the Orton interference surprised me. Edge winning is fine and it makes sense to push a Raw star over one of the only ECW stars, so go with what makes the most sense in a pretty big match. The fact that it was good made it even better.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Mickie James

Melina is challenging and even JR is half drooling over the two of them. They fight over a lockup to start with neither being able to get very far. Mickie takes her down by the hair and hits a basement dropkick to send Melina outside. The baseball slide is cut off and Mickie is sent into the barricade for a crash.

Back in and Melina throws her down by the hair before tying up the legs. That goes nowhere as Mickie sweeps the legs and hammers away, followed by some hair tosses. The Thesz press lets Mickie hammer away even more but Melina grabs the ropes to counter a hurricanrana. Mickie lands HARD on her head, allowing Melina to grab a jackknife cover for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. That felt like an injury ending and if that is the case, good for them for wrapping up the match as soon as they did. It was a nasty landing and the medics checking on Mickie after the match was hardly surprising. Melina winning the title makes sense as she has been the biggest star in the division as of late so let her run with the thing.

Post match Mickie is checked on while the paparazzi swarm Melina.

Post break, Mickie doesn’t want to talk about what happened and slaps Todd Grisham for not getting it.

Great Khali vs. Highlanders

Khali knocks both of them around like he’s the Great Khali and they’re the Highlanders and the chop puts Rory on the floor. Robbie gets chokeslammed for the pin with a boot on the chest.

Some of the cast of Grindhouse is here.

We look back at the opening sequence and the HILARIOUS Trump photos. There was a Mr. T. and Hulk Hogan version for Wrestlemania flavor.

Kenny Dykstra is asking Coach for more competition but Great Khali comes in to scare Kenny off. Khali wants better competition and Coach agrees. That’s enough for Khali to leave, so here is Ron Simmons for a subdued catchphrase.

Ashley revealed her Playboy cover on Smackdown.

Melina is happy to have won the title but she wants to know why Ashley is getting all of the attention. Do you know how many times she has turned Playboy down?

Mr. Perfect is going into the Hall of Fame, as he should. We get a montage of Perfect being amazing at sports, which it turns out he could do, but not when the camera was on. The solution? Lie to him about the camera being on.

Wrestlemania Recall: Wrestlemania I.

Randy Orton vs. John Cena

Non-title. Orton drives him into the corner to start and stomps him down without much effort. Cena is right back with the release fisherman’s suplex for two, with JR connecting the bridges and calling it a near PerfectPlex. A slam and elbow get two on Orton but Cena misses a charge and gets clotheslined down for the same. It doesn’t seem to bother Cena, who is right back with a bulldog to send Orton outside. Back in and it’s a double clothesline to put both of them down for a breather. Orton rolls outside again and grabs a chair as we take a break.

Back with Cena missing the shoulder and Orton hits the hanging DDT. Orton hammers him down in the corner and it’s time for the circle stomp. The big knee drop gets two and we hit the rare standing chinlock. Make that the seated chinlock but Cena powers out, only to get punched in the face. Cena makes the clothesline comeback and it’s the Throwback into the Shuffle. Orton rakes his eyes to escape the FU and there’s a dropkick to put Cena down again. The high crossbody connects but Cena rolls through for two. Orton is back with the backbreaker but the RKO is shoved away. The FU is loaded up again, drawing in Edge for the DQ.

Rating: B-. It’s so weird to see this as a fresh match but these two do work well together. You can see them doing their things and setting up their big stuff but neither of them could get that far ahead. Edge running in for the DQ wasn’t the biggest surprise after Orton ran out earlier, but they were having another good match on the way there.

Post match the Conchairto is loaded up but Shawn Michaels runs in for the save. Shawn grabs the chair and teases hitting Cena but throws it down instead. Shawn: “Not this time.” A tease of a superkick ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show started slowly but picked up near the end, which is always nice to see. You can feel the Wrestlemania build coming and that is a nice feeling, as they are getting the big pieces in place early. Money in the Bank is going to give some other people something to do and the rest of the card can fill itself out. Good enough show here, as the Road to Wrestlemania is starting to come together.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 15, 2007
Location: Rose Garden, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for No Way Out, though that only affects one match on this show. Other than that, it is, ahem, a special show as Donald Trump is here in person. I think you know what is going to get the focus this week and it could be a bit of an effort to get through. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

This is a Thursday show due to some unspecified scheduling issue.

Opening sequence.

Vince McMahon comes out to start and wastes no time in introducing Donald Trump, who is flanked by Torrie Wilson and Ashley. Trump shakes Vince’s hand but Vince dismisses the women in a hurry. Vince talks about how Trump has hosted Wrestlemania but this is the first time he has stood in a WWE ring. Trump insists that he is not intimidated so Vince talks about the things that he has done to get on Vince’s nerves. That includes the Rosie O’Donnell segment (Trump: “She really is ugly.”), but Trump messed with Vince’s Fan Appreciation Night by dropping money from the ceiling.

Trump says they’re going to do it again tonight….but Vince found out about it in advance and cut it off. Trump: “I tried!” The fans call Vince an a****** until he asks why Trump is here. Trump: “I’m taller than you, I’m more handsome than you, I think I’m stronger than you.” He’s here to challenge Vince to a match at Wrestlemania, which Vince instantly dubs the Battle of the Billionaires. Vince is injured, but he has an idea of his own: they both pick a representative.

Trump doesn’t like it, because he knows he can beat Vince on his own. They need to raise the stakes, which Vince thinks means money. That’s fun, but they both deal with money all the time, so let’s make it more interesting: hair vs. hair. Trump talks about rumors that they both wear a hairpiece, but Trump heard the story about himself in a big newspaper.

Vince asks the fans what they think and then says no anyway. As Vince leaves, Trump suggests that Vince is a coward before bringing up the Trump vs. Rosie match. He didn’t like it because the actress who played Rosie was too good looking…which is enough to make it work. Art of the Deal or something I guess.

JR and King freak out about what we just heard. As usual, JR is great at getting the point that matters over: “One of the billionaires is going to leave BALD!” I know it is a tagline and whatnot, but that is the thing that you need to remember for the match and JR made it very clear at the end. In other words, that is your parting shot: buy this show and you get to see one of them get their head shaved, so make sure you watch. That’s announcing 101 and it is amazing how you never hear it today.

Melina/Johnny Nitro vs. Super Crazy/Mickie James

The women get in a hair pulling fight before the bell but it’s Nitro shouldering Crazy down to start. Crazy snaps off a monkey flip and hammers away in the corner as Melina gets in a cheap shot on Mickie. There’s the screeching as Nitro knocks Crazy off the top for two. Melina comes in to kick Crazy, who grabs it without much trouble. That lets Mickie come in for an easy shot and there’s the Thesz press to drop Melina again. Everything breaks down and the villains are sent outside, setting up the stereo baseball slides. Morrison posts Crazy, leaving Melina to send Mickie head first into the mat and grab the tights for the pin.

Rating: C-. Kind of a messy match but Melina continues to beat Mickie on the way to her title match. Nitro vs. Crazy isn’t exactly a great feud but it’s also not the point here. Still though, they have done a nice enough job of building Crazy up, even if he is not likely to be anything long term.

Here’s how John Cena became the new #1 contender to John Cena’s WWE Title.

Great Khali vs. Eugene

So much for Eugene’s heel turn, thank goodness. Eugene offers Khali his stuffed Ric Flair bear, earning himself the chop and the chokebomb for the pin in less than a minute.

Shawn Michaels is on the phone with someone but stops to shill the DX merchandise. It’s HHH on the phone, who is watching at home and suggesting how to showcase the gear. With that out of the way, Shawn talks about headlining Wrestlemania for the fifth time (dang I hadn’t realized it was that many) and goes over each match. He was too cocky before, but this time, Mr. Wrestlemania has arrived. Shawn turned it on here and the fire was picking up.

Ric Flair looks at his awesome promo on Carlito last week and says…..nothing actually as here is Carlito to say Flair needs to apologize. Flair goes into another rant about how nothing has changed in a week. Carlito has all the talent in the world but he has not guts or passion. That fires Carlito up and the challenge is on for tonight, with Flair saying that is the first time Carlito has stood up and walked on his own feet.

Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Masters

Non-title but Masters gets a title shot if he wins. Masters jumps him to start but gets sent outside, setting up the slingshot dropkick through the ropes. There’s the slingshot dive but Masters catches him with a powerbomb back inside. The chinlock is broken up with a quick jawbreaker and the mule kick sends Masters into the corner. Hardy gets crotched on top and the Masterlock goes on. A lot of struggling lets Jeff get his legs over the ropes for the break, setting up a rollup to give Hardy the fast pin.

Rating: C-. Another quick match here and I’m glad they didn’t bother setting up Masters’ title match. It isn’t going to happen with Masters and I think WWE has started to figure that out when it comes to giving him anything important. Hardy survived the big hold and won clean, so that should take care of Masters for the time being.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring to introduce Portland’s own Roddy Piper for his first appearance since beating cancer. Piper says it’s nice to be home because Portland, Oregon is a place of class. That makes him think of Wrestlemania and the first inductee into the Hall of Fame: Dusty Rhodes! We get the Hall of Fame video, with some pretty awesome old school footage, as usual.

Dusty comes out and talks about how humbled he is to be here in front of these people in front of Piper’s town. He talks about how he wants his back to crack and his liver to quiver while Piper is out front smoking and shaking. Dusty brings up living the American Dream but here are Umaga and Armando Alejandro Estrada to interrupt.

Piper goes to leave but Dusty opts to fight, even though Umaga might have been there to deliver him some meatballs and toast. The running hip attack crushes Dusty so Piper comes in with a chair to Umaga for the expected no effect. There’s the Samoan Spike to both legends and Umaga stands tall.

Carlito vs. Ric Flair

Torrie Wilson is here with Carlito. They take turns striking away in the corner until Carlito takes over with a backdrop. There’s a dropkick for two, followed by a suplex for some near falls. Some quick choking in the corner sets up another two and it’s time to strike out of the corner. Flair gets the better of the chops and avoids another dropkick before chopping away even more. Carlito manages to send him chest first into the buckle but the Backstabber is blocked with a grab of the rope. The rollup with feet….not on the ropes is enough to pin Carlito.

Rating: C. The ending was a little weird as Flair started to raise his foot but just rolled Carlito up instead. Without the cheating, Carlito looks like even more of a loser than he did last week, which isn’t a great idea when he already doesn’t have a great reputation. Maybe this can go somewhere for him, but I wouldn’t get my hopes up.

Post match, Carlito is annoyed but shakes Flair’s hand anyway.

Melina is annoyed that there is no media here to announce that she is challenging Mickie James for the Women’s Title next week.

Ashley is excited to unveil her Playboy cover on Smackdown. For this week though, here is a preview of her photo shoot. When asked what one word she would use to describe her Playboy experience, it would be…..and here’s Ron Simmons to hit the catchphrase for a good moment.

MVP and Mr. Kennedy are in the back when Edge and Randy Orton pop in. They are teaming together tonight in an eight man tag, but Orton calls Raw the A show. Edge breaks up that argument and says they’re fighting the people who either have the titles or the title shots. That’s why they need to beat up the other four tonight so they can take the spots.

No Way Out rundown.

Rated-RKO/Mr. Kennedy/MVP vs. John Cena/Shawn Michaels/Batista/Undertaker

After entrances take their sweet time, Orton pounds on Cena, who is right back with a fisherman’s suplex for two. It’s time to crank on the arm but Kennedy comes in to punch Cena in the face. That earns him a shoulder and it’s off to Undertaker for the shots to the face. Old School sets up a Downward Spiral for two with MVP having to make an early save. Shawn comes in for a few shots of his own but Kennedy takes him into the corner so MVP can stomp away.

It’s off to Edge, who gets enziguried down so Batista can come in and powerslam Edge in a hurry. Batista catapults him into the corner and spinebusters everyone in sight. We take a break and come back with Cena coming in off the tag to drop the Five Knuckle Shuffle on Edge. A cheap shot lets Orton come in to work on Cena but Undertaker makes a save of his own. It’s back to MVP for a cravate, setting up Kennedy’s running knee in the corner for two.

Orton’s dropkick gets the same and a hard clothesline gets two more. A double clothesline puts Orton and Cena down though and the hot tag brings in Undertaker to clean house. Snake Eyes into the big boot drops Kennedy but Shawn tags himself in to drop the top rope elbow. Sweet Chin Music is loaded up and everything breaks down, as nature intended. Undertaker teases chokeslamming Shawn but takes out MVP instead. Orton uses the distraction to shove Shawn into Undertaker, who does not take it well. With Undertaker on the floor, Shawn superkicks Orton for the pin.

Rating: C+. You’re only going to get so much out of a match that has so many people involved and that was the case here. They did what they could with everything going on and having Undertaker come in at the end to wreck people is good. I want to see both Wrestlemania matches, but man alive is it a long way to get there.

Post match it’s a chokeslam to Shawn, so Cena is in to go after Undertaker. A big boot drops him and it’s a Batista Bomb to Cena to end the show. High levels of glaring end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Very run of the mill show here, with the Trump deal bringing it down a bit more. They had a bit of a weird trick to pull off as part of it was building to No Way Out but other parts were setting up things for after the pay per view. Outside of the main event, the action was mostly in the middle, leaving this as quite the ho him show. You can feel Wrestlemania season though and that’s what matters most.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 5, 2007
Location: Tyson Events Center, Sioux City, Iowa
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The Road To Wrestlemania continues as we still need to know what Undertaker is going to do with his Royal Rumble win. There are a few different choices and all three of them have been teased, which makes things a bit more interesting. Granted the chances of Undertaker picking the ECW World Title are the same as me being named Miss Nevada 1978, so there are only two choices. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of Undertaker winning the Royal Rumble and teasing the Wrestlemania title match pick.

Here is Undertaker to make his decision. Since that takes quite a long time, here is an impatient John Cena before anything can be said. Bobby Lashley is here as well, with Batista rounding out the quartet. Undertaker stares at all three of them….and then gives Batista the throat slit so set up the match.

This immediately brings out Shawn Michaels to say John Cena needs a Wrestlemania opponent and he is here to help a brother out. Cue Randy Orton to say that he is facing Cena at Wrestlemania. Cue Edge as this is a rather large opening segment. Edge wants the title shot but now it’s Vince McMahon to ask why we’re in the middle of a cornfield in this horrible state.

Vince finds it interesting that no one is challenging Bobby Lashley, so he’ll be defending the ECW World Title against someone from the Raw roster tonight. As for everyone else, let’s have a triple threat between Orton, Michaels and Edge with the winner challenging Cena at Wrestlemania. Undertaker and Batista are left alone for the staredown and Undertaker plants him with a chokeslam (or powerslam as JR put it). This had a lot of people involved but it certainly set up a lot at once, so I think I can forgive it.

Charlie Haas/Shelton Benjamin/Chris Masters vs. Carlito/Cryme Tyme

Torrie Wilson is here with the latter. JR: “King can I give a shout out to my barbecue loving buddies in Oklahoma.” Lawler: “I guess?” JR: “Well I just did.” It’s a big brawl to start until we settle down to JTG Thesz pressing Benjamin to hammer away. Haas, now with cornrows, comes in for an overhead belly to belly to send JTG flying though and it’s Masters coming in to hammer away. JTG slips out of another suplex attempt though and Carlito comes in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Carlito O’Connor rolls Masters, only to get caught with a springboard Blockbuster from Benjamin to steal the pin.

Rating: D+. Normally I’m a fan of merging a few feuds together but I never need to see Masters vs. Carlito in any form again. It has been done on and off for the better part of a year now and wasn’t all that interesting in the first place. Cryme Tyme vs. Haas/Benjamin isn’t exactly great either but at least it is something new.

We recap Fan Appreciation Night last week, with Donald Trump giving the fans money.

Vince McMahon is annoyed at Trump when Kenny Dykstra comes in to ask about the ECW World Title shot tonight. McMahon gives him the match to get rid of him but Coach has a letter from Trump. He’s going to be here next week to up the ante with a business proposal. Vince wants Trump to join his special club.

Ric Flair hits on Maria a bit and says that he is excited by Undertaker vs. Batista. As for tonight, he gets to face Jeff Hardy and if he wins, he gets an Intercontinental Title shot at Wrestlemania.

Melina and Candice Michelle have one of those authentic talks about Candice’s Super Bowl commercial. Candice leaves so here is John Morrison to say Melina looks great and he is ready for Super Crazy. Tonight, Melina is winning the Women’s Title.

Balls Mahoney is in the ring for a match and here is Coach to introduce the special opponent.

Umaga vs. Balls Mahoney

Armando Alejandro Estrada is here with Umaga. Mahoney strikes away to start and is knocked into the corner without much effort. Some choking on the rope ensues and the Samoan drop crushes Mahoney. The running hip attack sets up the Samoan Spike for the easy win.

Johnny Nitro vs. Super Crazy

Melina and Mickie James are here as well. Nitro starts fast and sends him into the corner, with Crazy sunset flipping him for two. That earns him a shot to the face though and Nitro grabs a cravate. Crazy fights up but Melina’s distraction lets Nitro roll him up for two. Mickie trips Nitro right back so Crazy can hit some dropkicks. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker sets up the moonsault but Nitro catches him on top. That’s broken up as well though and the moonsault gives Crazy the pretty big upset pin.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Mickie James

Melina is challenging and thankfully they didn’t bother redoing the entrances (including for Nitro and Crazy, who are here as well). The catfight is on to start until Mickie James remembers that she’s Mickie James and forearms away. A hammerlock has Mickie in trouble so the fans chant for her, which Lawler calls being “silently” behind her. Melina takes her down by the leg but gets kicked away, giving us a standoff.

Mickie cartwheels into a monkey flip to send Melina bailing over to Nitro. Melina gets in a shot to the face and sends her face first into the mat for two. Back up and they slug it out until Melina sends her into the corner. An elbow to the face staggers Melina so Nitro goes after her, only to get hurricanranaed by Crazy. Melina pulls her outside by the top (Lawler approves) but Mickie is right back with a sunset flip to retain.

Rating: D+. This was one that sounded better on paper than it worked in reality as Melina wasn’t quite ready for the big showdown. Then again, you’re only going to be able to do so much in less than five minutes with two more people on the floor. Mickie was doing her thing well enough, but they didn’t exactly make this work.

Post match Melina is rather annoyed at the paparazzi trying to take her picture.

John Cena wishes Shawn Michaels good luck tonight but he would rather Edge win. Cena knows he can beat Edge and reminds Shawn that they’re Tag Team Champions. That sounded like a bit of a wink about how little they care about the titles.

Jeff Hardy vs. Ric Flair

Non-title but if Flair wins, he gets an Intercontinental Title shot at Wrestlemania. Hardy shoulders him down to start so Flair pops back up for a WOO. The chops have Hardy in the corner but he switches places to take Flair down. Hardy goes up but tweaks the knee on the landing, allowing Flair to chop block him down. Some leg cranking has Hardy in more trouble and the fans are behind Flair.

Hardy fights up and scores with an enziguri (breaking up a WOO in the process), setting up the sitout jawbreaker. The Whisper in the Wind connects and there’s the Twist of Fate. The Swanton misses though and Flair is right back on the knee. Flair loads up the Figure Four but stops to strut, allowing Hardy to small package him for the pin.

Rating: C-. I’m going to assume that the ending was designed to make Flair look stupid and it certainly worked in that regard. There was no reason for Flair to start strutting around when he had Hardy in that much trouble. The match was good enough up to that point, but I would assume that it was setting things up for later, as otherwise that is pretty out of character for this version of Flair.

Post match Hardy praises Flair, who shakes his hand.

Wrestlemania is 55 days away.

We recap Undertaker’s selection from earlier tonight.

Batista isn’t intimidated and is ready for some payback. He’s fine with teaming with Undertaker at No Way Out too. That’s quite the calm champion.

ECW World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Kenny Dykstra

Lashley is defending and scares Dykstra over to the apron to start. Back in and a single right hand sends Dykstra over the top and out to the floor for a great visual. Lashley knocks him off the apron for a bonus but Dykstra gets smart by dropkicking the knee out. Some stomping gives Dykstra two and we hit the chinlock.

That’s broken up and Lashley hits some clotheslines, setting up a t-bone suplex. A dropkick puts Lashley on the floor though and we take a break. We come back with Dykstra holding a front facelock but Lashley powers up without much trouble. The delayed suplex sets up the gorilla press powerslam to retain.

Rating: D+. What else were you expecting here? Dykstra is a generic heel and Lashley doesn’t know how to do much other than his power stuff. Lashley has all of the tools to be a major star but you need to give him a good bit more seasoning. That is showing in places like this, as he wasn’t able to get anything out of Dykstra, who wasn’t ready to do something like this on his own.

Edge comes up to Randy Orton, who doesn’t want to talk. They aren’t partners tonight because Orton wants the Wrestlemania title shot. That’s fine with Edge, but he wants to make sure Shawn Michaels doesn’t get the shot.

Carlito and Torrie Wilson are going out and say goodbye to Ric Flair. They’re going out, but Flair doesn’t want to hear it after Carlito lost his match earlier tonight. Flair goes into a huge rant about how Carlito isn’t in the main event because he’s a lazy SOB. Guys like Carlito have no passion or guts but want to fly first class with someone like Torrie Wilson. Carlito hasn’t bled, sweat or paid the price but he’s taking Flair’s spot.

Flair has been here forever but Vince McMahon has told him that if he wants to stay, he has to prove it. Now Flair is trying to prove himself but Carlito is going out before the main event. Flair walks off, leaving a stunned Carlito with something to think about. This felt like Flair being told to go and let loose and he made it work because that is the kind of emotion he can bring like almost no one else.

Shawn Michaels vs. Edge vs. Randy Orton

The winner gets the WWE Title shot at Wrestlemania. At least Shawn has his title here, which doesn’t help him out as he gets double teamed down. Shawn comes back with a double clothesline and some atomic drops with Orton being tossed outside. Back up and Orton shoves Shawn off the top for a crash but only teases the RKO to Edge. We take a break and come back with Shawn tossing Orton and suplexing Edge. There’s a baseball slide to knock Orton onto the announcers’ table and a Thesz press to Edge as Shawn keeps the pace up.

Edge boots him in the face but gets caught going up top. A crotching puts Edge on the floor but Orton is back in with the backbreaker to Michaels. The RKO connects but Edge makes the save. Edge and Orton shake hands but then instantly turn on each other to start the fight. Stereo crossbodies put both of them down, allowing Shawn to drop the top rope elbow on Edge. Sweet Chin Music is blocked so Shawn sidesteps a spear, which hits Orton instead. A superkick drops Edge and Shawn pins Orton for the title shot.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches where there wasn’t a ton of drama to the ending but at least they did well on their way to the finish. Michaels getting the shot at Cena was pretty much locked up last week but they had to make it official here. The action was good as you would expect and it set up Wrestlemania, so there isn’t much to complain about here.

Post match John Cena in for the staredown but here are Batista and Undertaker to stare at the top of them and then each other to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show had a couple of positives, including setting up a pair of Wrestlemania title matches and not having Donald Trump. You can tell that things are getting important around here again and the energy is rising. Throw in Flair’s great promo and there were parts of this show that worked very well. Unfortunately there were also parts that didn’t work, which was most of the actual wrestling. That wasn’t what mattered, but it did bring down a lot of the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 29, 2007
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 17,115
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with the Royal Rumble and that means it is time to start moving forward towards Wrestlemania. The big Raw stories coming out of last night would be John Cena retaining the WWE Title in a great Last Man Standing match over Umaga, plus Shawn Michaels coming this close to winning the Royal Rumble. I wonder if that means anything. Let’s get to it.

Here is the Royal Rumble if you need a recap.

Here is Shawn Michaels to get things going. Last week, he said no mortal man was going to keep him from making it to Wrestlemania. The problem is there were 29 mortal men in the Royal Rumble and one Undertaker. That was a setback, but he is going to Wrestlemania to become the new WWE Champion. Undertaker has the right to choose, but he hasn’t picked yet. If Undertaker picks Bobby Lashley’s ECW World Title (Shawn has jokes) or Batista’s World Heavyweight Title, that leaves John Cena and the WWE Title wide open. Tonight, Shawn is throwing his hat in the ring but here is Cena to interrupt.

Cena likes that idea but here is Edge to interrupt. Edge laughs at Shawn for losing last night and is greeted with a YOU SUCK chant. Shawn lost last night and he has beaten Cena more times than he can count. Edge is undefeated at Wrestlemania so the title shot should be his. Cue Randy Orton, who doesn’t seem to agree.

Last night it was every man for himself and it is the same with that WWE Title. Edge has had 30 title shots at Cena but Orton hasn’t had one. Cena cuts them off and the challenge is on but Vince McMahon pops up on screen. Since it’s Fan Appreciation Night, the Tag Team Title match is on for later. Cena seems intrigued and Shawn….kind of stands there.

JTG talks to the camera and sends some shout outs to his friends but Shad Gaspard says they have a match up next.

Cryme Tyme vs. Shelton Benjamin/Charlie Haas

Haas hammerlocks Shad to start but a shoulder puts Haas into the corner. A Shelton cheap shot cuts him off though and it’s time to stomp on Shad’s knee. Benjamin comes in and stays on the leg, even cutting off Shad’s rights and lefts with a half crab. Shad finally kicks him away and brings in JTG to take over. An elbow to Benjamin and a backdrop to Haas connect but everything breaks down. Shad is sent outside and Haas sneaks in a DDT so Benjamin can cover JTG (with tights) for the pin. That’s Cryme Tyme’s first loss.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure what the point was in having Cryme Tyme lose here unless they needed to be cooled down a bit, as they are the hottest regular team going at the moment. Haas and Benjamin haven’t been doing much of anything lately so this was kind of a strange loss. It’s not a career killer or anything, but kind of odd.

Vince McMahon gives Melina a pep talk in the back, telling her to seize the moment. Vince gets a hug and Melina leaves, with Coach replacing her. Fan Appreciation Night is ready to go and they’re both excited. It’s going to be bigger than the Royal Rumble and maybe even bigger than Wrestlemania. This is going to leave Vince’s name up there with Mother Teresa, Gandhi and DESMOND TUTU! Coach goes to make sure everything is ready.

This Week In Wrestling History: the first Royal Rumble, which was in no way aired to screw with the NWA’s Bunkhouse Stampede (which didn’t need to be screwed with in the first place).

Melina vs. Maria

The winner gets a Women’s Title shot at some point in the future, as per Vince McMahon’s order (or a First Contenders match according to Melina). JR says Maria has been improving every time she is in the ring, which is a scary concept. Maria rolls her up to start and hits a Bronco Buster for one. Melina isn’t having that and tosses Maria down by the hair to take over. A few kicks out of the corner don’t do Maria much good as Melina hits a not great looking flapjack. Melina screams a lot and grabs a Muta Lock for the tap. Lawler says that’s called California Dream, which Melina told him online. Lawler: “I’d like to blog her.”

Shawn Michaels isn’t going to kick Todd Grisham again but he’ll win the Tag Team Titles tonight. John Cena is no HHH though.

Super Crazy interrupts Mickie James, asking her if she remembers people calling her crazy. Well he’s SUPER Crazy! Melina comes in to say Mickie must be crazy if she thinks she’s keeping the Women’s Title. A brawl breaks out, with Melina shouting “I’M THE TRUE CHAMPION YOU WH***!”

Edge is with Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch and can’t believe that Randy Orton thinks he should get a title shot at Wrestlemania. No one can take the Tag Team Titles from them though.

Stills of Umaga vs. John Cena.

Umaga vs. Val Venis

Umaga starts fast with the Samoan drop and ties Venis in the Tree of Woe. The running headbutt connects and the running hip attack sets up the Samoan Spike to complete the squash.

Here is Vince McMahon, in a cowboy hat, for Fan Appreciation Night, complete with something under a sheet. Vince: “HOWDY PARDNER! Why you must be the new school marm!” That’s ridiculous, just like wearing a cowboy hat (yep). Anyone over the age of five wearing a cowboy hat is stupid, because it even messes up your hair. Vince stomps on the hat and thanks the fans for making him a billionaire. He would like to give everyone some monetary thanks but it can only be one person.

Vince calls in a woman from the crowd, who is in no way a model. He knows she must be nervous and then pulls the sheet off, revealing a large version of his Muscle & Fitness cover from last year. The woman seems to like it and Vince sends her away, saying he won’t remember her name (Jackie). And now, in a moment that I’m sure will age just fine, Donald Trump appears on the screen, sending Vince into a panic. He says the fans have no choice but to do what Vince wants and no one would want that picture. Not even Vince’s wife!

Trump knows what the fans want, including the value for what they paid for tickets tonight. Therefore, he is dumping money out of the ceiling, which seems to be completely real, despite what Vince says. Vince: “DONALD TRUMP YOU SON OF A B****!” JR even catches some money as Vince tries to get his head around the idea that it is raining cash. Vince rants about how the people are taking his money and storms off, as JR declares that Vince has been trumped. It’s going to be a long, long Road To Wrestlemania.

Post break, Coach, with money, says he can’t believe Trump would try to upstage him like that. Coach has gathered up as much money as he could, even throwing in some of his own (Ten dollars!). Vince jumps in the limo and leaves in a huff anyway.

Carlito/Super Crazy vs. Kenny Dykstra/Chris Masters

Torrie Wilson is here with Carlito/Crazy. Masters drives Crazy into the corner to start and drives in some knees to the ribs. Crazy knocks him down and drops a corkscrew elbow for an early two. It’s off to Dykstra, who gets caught with a basement dropkick. Carlito comes in for a hurricanrana to the floor and the stereo dives drop the villains.

Back in and Masters trips Crazy down so Dykstra can drop an elbow to take over. The chinlock goes on for a bit, followed by Carlito coming in to break up a cover. Dykstra grabs his own chinlock but gets belly to back suplexed for his efforts. The double tag brings in Carlito and Masters to pick up the pace, including Carlito’s running knee lift. Everything breaks down and the Backstabber gives Carlito the pin.

Rating: C-. This could have been worse as Carlito and Crazy worked out well enough together. I never need to see Masters vs. Carlito again though, as it is one of those pairings that has been beaten so far into the ground. Dykstra continues to be one of those people who is just kind of there, but it can be rather hard to build someone up from almost nothing.

Randy Orton talks about what an honor it was to win the Tag Team Titles with Edge but they both want to be WWE Champion. As for tonight, they’re retaining the titles.

Intercontinental Title: Great Khali vs. Jeff Hardy

Khali is challenging and knocks Hardy outside in a hurry. Hardy gets pulled back in with one arm and some heavy shots knock him down again. A big clothesline makes it worse for Hardy, who manages to get up for a Whisper in the Wind. That doesn’t do much though as the big chop puts Hardy on the floor for the countout.

Rating: D. It was more of an angle than a match and it made Khali look great without having Hardy get pinned. In theory this should set up Khali destroying him to win the title, or at least a title match, though I’m not sure I believe WWE is going to follow through on it. Nothing match, but it wasn’t supposed to be.

Candice Michelle is in a GoDaddy commercial for the Super Bowl. Not on Peacock of course.

Wrestlemania Recall: the first Money In The Bank.

Vladimir Kozlov is amazed that money fell from the ceiling but he wasn’t impressed by the Royal Rumble. He would have won you see.

Highlights of the Last Man Standing match.

John Cena and Ric Flair are in the back, with Flair saying Shawn Michaels wants to go to the main event of Wrestlemania. He might even superkick Cena to get there.

Vince McMahon will be on ECW this week. Oh dear.

Tag Team Titles: Rated-RKO vs. Shawn Michaels/John Cena

Michaels/Cena are challenging and the champs bail to the floor to start. Shawn chops Edge to start and Orton is almost ready to come in and save him. Instead it’s more chopping against the ropes with Edge flopping around early on. Cena comes in to quite the reaction and it’s a hiptoss into an elbow to the jaw for two. A DDT is good for the same but it’s off to Orton for some forearms to the back.

Orton grabs a suplex and Cena gets caught in the wrong corner. Cena fights up but gets knocked down again, only to have Orton knock Edge down by mistake. Things are about to fall apart but Orton knees Cena in the back from the apron to keep him in trouble. A knee drop gives Orton two and Edge adds a dropkick for the same.

The bodyscissors with a chinlock goes on until Cena fights up and powers his way to freedom. The hot tag brings in Shawn to clean house but Orton breaks up the superkick with a dropkick. Shawn blocks the RKO though and brings (the busted open) Cena back in for the FU and the pin to give us new champions.

Rating: C+. This was the way to get the Road To Wrestlemania off in a hurry as Shawn vs. Cena is already all but set for the show. That isn’t a bad thing, and it isn’t like there is a strong division underneath the titles in the first place. Michaels and Cena holding the titles isn’t that much different than Orton and Edge, so using it as a plot device to get us to Wrestlemania is not a bad thing.

Post match Shawn teases a superkick but stops, leaving Cena to yell at him instead. Then the gong goes off and here is Undertaker to stare them down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling wasn’t the point here, because this show was all about having stuff happen. They did a lot of big things on this show and you can see where a good chunk of the Wrestlemania build is going. Your individual tastes may vary, but there is something to be said about having the build start hot and that is what they did here. The followup is important, but at least they were off to a good start.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 22, 2007
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble but you might not know it by watching the previous shows. The Rumble itself has barely been mentioned as most of the focus has been on Umaga vs. John Cena for the World Title. That’s not a bad move, but it is a bit of a weird one. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory Of Bam Bam Bigelow. That’s a hard one.

We open with a recap of Rated-RKO taking out some of Shawn Michaels’ friends last week but getting taken out by Shawn himself in the main event.

Here is Shawn Michaels to get things going. Last week, he felt a feeling that he has tried to overcome for years. He does not like those feelings coming back but those days of stopping are gone. Shawn feels like he can be WWE Champion again and that starts this Sunday by winning the Royal Rumble. May God have mercy on the 29 other entrants who dare to get in his way and no mortal man is going to get in his way….but here is Edge to interrupt.

Edge talks about how he is the one who is going to win the Royal Rumble because he has been to the top of the mountain twice, but Shawn tells him to shut up. The fight is on and security can’t break it up. We take a break and come back with the break still on in the back and security still not being much good.

Jeff Hardy vs. Joey Mercury

Non-title and this is Raw vs. Smackdown as Jeff wants revenge on Mercury for helping take out Matt Hardy on Friday. Johnny Nitro and Melina are here too but Jeff throws Mercury in to start in a hurry. Mercury gets in a shot so Nitro pulls the mat back on the floor. That’s enough for an ejection but Mercury is able to grab Jeff’s face and rip away. Jeff fights up with some elbows to the face into the Whisper in the Wind. The Twist of Fate drops Mercury on his damaged face to give Jeff the fast pin.

Post match Jeff gets out of there before Nitro and Melina can get back.

Jonathan Coachman comes in to see Vince McMahon and has an idea for tonight. He’ll throw Shawn Michaels and Edge out, but Vince makes a street fight instead. In addition, Vince has an announcement to make in the ring.

Here are Vince and Coach for a chat. Vince talks about reading Donald Trump’s letter last week, so tonight he is going to read his own letter to Trump. The letter talks about Trump’s TV ratings being awful, but they will go up when Vince guest stars on the Apprentice. He is the reason for Raw’s ratings success, and it could be due to his good looks, his charisma, or his Herculean physique. The people love him and he loves them back. Fans: “A**HOLE!” Vince: “You’re making it tough to love you back!”

Vince promises to show his love for the people next week but here is John Cena to interrupt. Cena wants to know when Vince became Brother Love and tells him to stop yapping about Donald Trump. It’s like Vince is obsessed with him and an obsessed Vince McMahon is never a good thing. Cena: “Remember that obsession you had with starting your own football league?” Cena compares Vince and Trump, with Coach saying Trump does everything bigger than Vince, including having more money. That’s too far for Vince, who makes Cena vs. Coach for tonight.

Chris Masters vs. Super Crazy

Masters jumps him to start but Crazy hits a quick middle rope crossbody. Crazy gets thrown down again and the stomping is on in a hurry. Back up and Crazy slugs away, including a spinwheel kick, which has Lawler thinking Crazy is “all jacked up on Mountain Dew.” Masters catches him coming out of the corner with the Masterlock but Crazy climbs the corner and drops back onto him for the pin.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go very far but Crazy wins to give him a little momentum. WWE seems interested in pushing him and he hasn’t done badly at all in response. I could go for a bit more of him and the fans seem to like him well enough. Granted it isn’t hard to get cheered against Masters, so the pairing does make sense.

Coach tries to convince Vince McMahon that he is way richer than Donald Trump but Vince is more worried about showing the fans how he appreciates them next week. Oh and Coach’s match with Cena is still on.

Kenny Dykstra insists that he is going to win the Royal Rumble on Sunday. He defeated Ric Flair three times so he knows he can do it. Maria doesn’t seem convinced but Dykstra says this is going to be his year.

A very banged up Randy Orton isn’t happy with Edge for leaving him to get mauled by Shawn Michaels last week. Edge tries to explain what happened and wants to know if Orton has his back in getting rid of Shawn Michaels tonight. Orton says we’ll wait and see as you can feel the tension.

John Cena vs. Jonathan Coachman

Non-title. Actually hang on a second as Coach has another idea: we’re going to have a Royal Rumble, and if Cena wins, THEN he can face Coach one on one. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch are here first and the double teaming is on in a hurry, including a bunch of right hands. Cade drops Murdoch down into a legdrop on Cena and the beating is on in the corner. Cena fights out of said corner and tosses Murdoch without much effort.

Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas are in next, with Viscera following shortly thereafter. Cade comes back in to help hold Cena down for Viscera’s elbow. Cue Great Khali to starts clearing the ring until Viscera and Cena are the only others left. A big boot drops Viscera and Khali tosses him, allowing Cena to come in off the top with a shoulder. That has almost no effect so Khali hits a clothesline and tosses him out for the win.

Rating: D+. This was much more of an angle than a match and that’s all it needed to be. Khali is becoming a player in a hurry because he is pretty easy to push. You can probably pencil him in for a title program soon after Wrestlemania is over and I’ve heard far worse ideas. Not much of a match of course, but at least it had a point.

Post match Khali runs Cena over again and drops him with ease, allowing Coach to run in for two. Cue Umaga to jump Cena from behind and I guess that’s a DQ? Either way, Umaga splashes Cena through a table to crush his ribs. It takes a long time to get rid of Umaga and Cena has to be helped to the back.

Candice Michelle/Mickie James vs. Victoria/Melina

This is Candice’s return after Victoria broke her nose, meaning a lot of nose pointing ensues. Mickie starts fast with a basement dropkick to Melina and we get the required spank. A hurricanrana sends Melina flying out of the corner but Victoria pulls Mickie down from the apron. There’s a double wishbone to keep Mickie in trouble and Melina chokes in the ropes, sending Lawler into hysterics.

Mickie avoids Victoria’s running charge in the corner and the hot tag brings in Candice to start cleaning house. A dropkick puts Melina down but Victoria hits a heck of a knee to the face. Mickie comes in for the save and dives onto Melina, leaving Candice to hit a middle rope….uh….I guess we’ll say elbow for the pin on Victoria.

Rating: D. Yeah what else were you expecting here? This was about getting Candice out there to show off what seems to be her new cosmetic enhancements and rather limited outfit. Candice is absolutely trying but there is a bit of a way to go between effort and success. Pretty bad match, but you can almost guarantee that Candice is getting a push in a hurry.

Carlito vs. Kenny Dykstra

Torrie Wilson is here with Carlito, who sends Kenny into the corner without much effort. Kenny is right back with a dropkick into a chinlock but Carlito gets to his feet and hammers away. A springboard back elbow drops Kenny but he grabs a rollup into a pinfall reversal sequence. Kenny finally grabs the trunks for the fast pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing match here with Dykstra getting a win over someone other than Ric Flair. It doesn’t make things that much better for him as all of the problems are still there, but at least they are trying with someone else. At the same time, Carlito is still about as uninteresting as you can get, which has been the case for a long time now.

We recap Rated-RKO vs. Shawn Michaels from last week in the same video that started the show.

Cryme Tyme is selling Royal Rumble numbers to Eugene and Super Crazy. Since he is crazy, Crazy will take any number. Crazy is rather pleased with his number and Eugene gets #30. Hold on though as Cryme Tyme explains that he really wants to be #1…..which he can be for another $50. Eugene leaves, and we find out that not only are the numbers not real, but Eugene isn’t even in the number. Also, they sold the painting The Scream and it wasn’t real either. Cryme Tyme leaves and it turns out that Ron Simmons bought said painting. Guess what he has to say.

Royal Rumble Rundown.

We look back at Cena being taken out. Cena may have a ruptured spleen.

We look back at Edge and Shawn Michaels brawling earlier tonight.

Shawn Michaels vs. Edge

Street fight and they’re both in street clothes. Shawn wins the early slugout and pulls Edge’s belt off for a whipping. The weapons are brought in but Edge knocks him out of the air with a trashcan lid. We take a break and come back with Edge busted open and hitting him in the ribs with something made of metal.

Edge gets creative by superplexing a ladder onto Shawn for two but a powerbomb is broken up with some right hands to the head. The comeback is on with Shawn hitting the atomic drop. A chain is wrapped around Edge’s eyes and now he is busted open as well. Shawn drops Edge onto a ladder bridged over two sets of steps but Edge gets up to catch Shawn on top.

That doesn’t make a difference either though as Shawn drops Edge ribs first onto the ladder again. Sweet Chin Music is loaded up but Edge reverses into something like an electric chair (Edge tried to pick him up but dropped Shawn on the way to the shoulders). The spear is countered into the Thesz press though and Shawn grabs a chair to knock Edge silly. Another Conchairto is loaded up but here is Randy Orton to hit the RKO and give Edge the pin.

Rating: B. These two getting some time in a violent match is always going to work and that was the case here. It felt like a main event and the two of them beat each other up for about fifteen minutes. The ending makes sense given what they are doing as Edge and Orton want to destroy Shawn, but Orton is going to mess with Edge on the way there if he can.

Post match Orton throws Edge over the top but here are Ric Flair, Kenny Dykstra and Carlito in a row. Shawn comes back up with some Sweet Chin Musics

Overall Rating: D+. The main event was the only worthwhile thing on this show as the Royal Rumble only needs so much of a build. Umaga injuring Cena was a good angle but other than that and the main event, there wasn’t much to see on the whole thing. It isn’t that surprising as the pay per view is set, but it would have been nice to have more than one good match in two hours.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 15, 2007
Location: Centurytel Center, Bossier City, Louisiana
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are on the way to the Royal Rumble though you might not know it based on how the last few weeks have gone. Instead, the last few weeks have focused on various celebrities, or at least celebrity impersonators in last week’s case. The actual wrestling stories coming out of last week saw a likely rematch being set up between John Cena and Umaga for the Raw World Title, and Shawn Michaels vs. Rated-RKO this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the traditional Martin Luther King Jr. Day video. That’s a rather nice tradition for the show.

Here is John Cena to get things going and we’ve got a contract signing. Boss Jonathan Coachman brings out Umaga and Armando Alejandro Estrada and Umaga turns the chair over in a hurry. Coach has an idea to make the match special, so Estrada gets to pick the stipulation. Estrada doesn’t want another fluke win, so we’ll be having a Last Man Standing match.

Since Umaga is, you know, a savage, Estrada signs for him, but Cena says he must be crazy to do this. Well sure why not, so Cena signs and then dives onto Umaga to start the fight. They go to the floor and Cena hits him in the head with the steps. Back in and the FU puts Estrada through the table. Counting the King video and the opening, we are done with this segment about ten minutes into the show. I can absolutely go with that kind of efficiency for a contract signing.

Johnny Nitro/Melina vs. Jeff Hardy/Maria

Maria doing Jeff’s entrance dance is certainly a sight. Nitro bails from the threat of an early Twist of Fate attempt so it’s off to Melina. Maria comes in and bulldogs her out of the corner for two but Nitro trips her from the apron. We hit the reverse chinlock to put Maria down for a change but she counters a backbreaker into a headscissors. It’s off to Nitro so Maria kicks him in the shin, allowing Jeff to hit the Whisper in the Wind. Maria takes Melina outside, leaving Jeff to break up a superplex attempt. The Swanton is good for the pin on Nitro.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to do much but it was a fine way to advance both feuds, even if the men should have wrapped up. Maria isn’t going to be a serious competitor in the ring but at least she can do enough basic stuff to get by in something like this. Let the experienced people get in and do their thing and get out, which is exactly what they did here.

Vince McMahon calls Donald Trump but Trump’s secretary, who doesn’t know who Vince is, says he is having dinner. Vince starts to give out the number but looks at Coach and stops himself. Coach doesn’t seem to buy that Trump is going to call back.

Here is Rated-RKO for a chat but DX’s music interrupts them. The music turns into a flatline sound though, with Randy Orton saying that is what is happening to DX. Tonight they are taking out Shawn Michaels and HHH is already sitting at home recovering from a torn quadricep muscle.

Orton leaves to take care of something backstage while Edge talks about how Shawn’s TV debut took place near here, so him being destroyed makes sense. Edge goes to check on Orton….and they drag out a bloody Jim Duggan. Since Duggan might help Shawn later, we need a demonstration of what Shawn has coming for him. Duggan gets a Conchairto and here are the referees, just a few seconds late of course.

Ric Flair vs. Kenny Dykstra

How many times are these guys going to fight??? Flair takes him into the corner for the chops to start and there’s a headlock takeover. Dykstra fights up and gets in a shot to Flair’s knee, setting up a Figure Four of his own. That’s broken up and Flair chops away before cutting off a charge with an elbow to the face. Flair goes up and actually hits something like a top rope clothesline for two. JR: “I think we just saw a moment!” Dykstra is right back with a rollup but gets caught grabbing the rope. Flair’s rollup with trunks gets two so he tries another and, this time with putting his feet on the ropes, gets the pin.

Rating: C-. And they’re done. Or at least they should be, as this feud has already gone on far too long. Flair took him to school here and got his win back. Now let the whole thing go and move on to anything else, because it wasn’t exactly an interesting feud in the first place. Dykstra is as midcard of a midcard heel as you can get so let’s move on to something else already.

Smackdown Rebound.

Shawn Michaels arrives and is told about what happened to Jim Duggan. That’s not what Shawn wanted but he only has one partner. He’ll do this alone tonight, but Ric Flair comes in to say he’ll fight with Shawn tonight. Shawn shakes his hand but still seems nervous.

Vince McMahon is still waiting on Donald Trump’s call but Coach suggests it might be Vince’s batteries. Vince: “There is nothing wrong with my batteries.” Coach asks Vince what the big deal is and Vince pulls out a letter that Trump sent him last week. The letter talks about how Trump is a big WWE fan but he didn’t like the Trump vs. Rosie O’Donnell match last week. Trump will be watching this week and wants something better. Oh and watch the Apprentice on Sunday nights. Coach is a fan, but Vince would rather talk about the compelling television you are about to see.

Wrestlemania is coming in 76 days.

Here is Vince McMahon to give us compelling television and I’m as scared as you are. He knows Donald Trump wants compelling television so let’s look at Rosie vs. Trump from last week. Hold on though as we need to see it in SLOW MOTION. Vince sees a difference between himself and Trump: instead of asking the audience what they want and then giving it to them like Trump, Vince decides what his fans wants and then gives it to them (How in the world is that not a FAR more quoted line?).

Vince moves on to the Miss USA controversy, as she did something that meant she should lose her crown. It turns out that Miss USA is here tonight, so here is Torrie Wilson in a gown. Torrie reluctantly says she has been a bad girl and asks how she can make it up to Vince, America’s Favorite Billionaire.

Cue an angry Carlito to interrupt and say that Vince is not cool. Trump vs. Rosie sucked and this is brutal. Trump was right: Vince doesn’t know what people want and the fans want to see people fight. Vince likes that idea and is ready to go right now…but let’s have Great Khali do it instead. Carlito gets in a few shots until a big chop and the double chokeslam leave him laying. Vince: “Now that? That’s cool.”

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Victoria

Mickie is defending so Victoria pulls her down by the hair. That’s fine enough as Mickie jumps over her in the corner and does the same thing. Mickie gets draped over the top rope so Mickie can throw in a few spanks. That earns Mickie a trip to the floor and a baseball slide takes her out in a hurry. Back in and Victoria tosses her around by the hair and then stands on it for a bonus. Mickie cradles her for two so Victoria pulls on her leg. That’s broken up but the MickieDT is countered into the swinging side slam. Mickie is sick of this and hits a spinning kick to the face to retain.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t exactly their best work as it felt sluggish to go with all of the botches. These two are capable of having a good match because they have the chemistry together, but it just wasn’t clicking this time. This should end the feud, as Mickie can move on to Melina while Victoria can continue to be more talented than most of the women featured on the show.

We recap the contract signing.

Royal Rumble rundown….now with 25 names already entered into the Rumble. There is something to be said for the “throw everyone in at once” method.

Here is Chris Masters for a chat. He is ready for the Royal Rumble and the winner is standing before you. Masters pulls out a note while talking about how no one can break the Masterlock. The note is a signed document from Vince McMahon himself, which says that since JBL interfered in Iraq, the Masterlock has NEVER been broken.

The Masterlock Challenge is on again so here is Ron Simmons of all people to accept. Masters immediately starts backing off but Simmons shoves him down. The hold goes on and, after the usual escape tease….Super Crazy of all people comes in to jump Masters. Simmons watches as Crazy lays Masters out, meaning it’s catchphrase time.

Wrestlemania Recall: Rob Van Dam wins Money in the Bank.

JR confirms that Simmons did NOT break the Masterlock, due to Crazy’s interference.

Ric Flair has been attacked and laid out. Again. What is that, three times since Rated-RKO formed?

JTG vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shad Gaspard and Charlie Haas are here too. Shelton breaks up an early headscissors to start by hitting a shoulder breaker out of the corner. A hammerlock stays on the arm and Shelton sends it hard into the buckle. The referee has to yell at Shad as JTG fights back, only to get kicked in the face. Shad uses the distraction to unhook a turnbuckle pad so Haas complains, allowing Shad to break up a powerbomb attempt to give JTG the pin.

Ric Flair is on his way to the hospital so Shawn Michaels is rather upset. He superkicks Todd Grisham to blow off some steam.

We get a video with HHH talking about his quad injury and surgery. This goes on for a good while.

Shawn Michaels vs. Rated-RKO

Non-title. Before the match, Rated-RKO mocks DX’s intro and has security confiscate all of the DX signs. Shawn charges in and starts fast by sending both of them out to the floor. We settle down to Edge getting chopped in the corner until he rakes the eyes to escape. Orton comes in and gets hammered down in a hurry. Shawn is sent outside though and Edge blasts him with a running clothesline.

Back in and Edge hammers Shawn down without much effort to bust him open. Orton’s backbreaker lets Edge hammer away even more until we take a break. It’s back to Orton to get in some right hands of his own but Shawn flips over in the corner and nails a clothesline. Edge comes back in and spears Orton by mistake and Shawn has a chance.

The comeback is on with the forearm into the nipup into the atomic drop. Shawn’s top rope elbow connects but he can’t follow up right away. Sweet Chin Music is loaded up but Shawn has to jump Orton as he comes back in. Edge hits the spear and now it’s time for the chairs so the referee throws it out.

Rating: C. This worked out about as well as it could have as there was only so much that could be done here. Shawn can’t beat the champs on his own but you don’t want them beating Shawn because he has no partner and no real place to go if he loses. It wasn’t a bad match at all, but it was much more about finding a way out than anything else.

Post match the Conchairto is loaded up but Shawn nips it up into Edge’s face which is only slightly better than I remember seeing it live. Shawn fights back and finds the sledgehammer to knock Orton out. A Conchairto is loaded up and Orton is crushed to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m glad they have named most of the Royal Rumble entrants but the rest of the show was barely worth seeing. The contract signing worked, but it was one of those shows where it felt like they didn’t have much to do and jumped through the two hours as quickly as they could. While it isn’t a terrible show, it’s a totally skippable one (especially the Trump/Vince stuff), which tends to be the case until we get to the Rumble.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 8, 2007
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after New Year’s Revolution and things have changed a bit. That bit would be HHH tearing his quadricep again during the DX vs. Rated-RKO tag match. Odds are that is going to shake up a good amount of the show as we head towards Wrestlemania. Other than that, John Cena retained the World Title over Umaga with a quick rollup. We’re less than a month away from the Royal Rumble too so let’s get to it.

Here is New Year’s Revolution if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the DX vs. Rated-RKO tag match, with HHH blowing out his leg but managing to beat up Rated-RKO after the match anyway.

Opening sequence.

Tonight: Donald Trump vs. Rosie O’Donnell. The sighing is going to be strong with this one.

Here is John Cena to get thing going. After taking a few moments, Cena quietly says the champ is here. Cena: “You know what really yanks my noodle?” Before Cena left the building last night, Armando Alejandro Estrada was on WWE.com saying Umaga lost in a fluke. Last night, Cena took a beating for thirty minutes (17:20 by my notes) but he doesn’t know what Estrada means by a fluke. Cena is thinking about giving Umaga a rematch tonight but that might be the concussion talking.

Since this is where Cena made his Raw debut, he polls the fans on said rematch taking place. Cue Coach instead, and tonight Umaga is getting the night off. Cena doesn’t buy that and is expecting to be jumped on he way to the car or in the….Cena: “Never mind.”. Coach doesn’t like Cena’s attitude but he has an idea for tonight. See, contracts expire, so Cena can face Raw’s newest acquisition. Cue the Great Khali for the staredown but Coach backs the monster off.

Video on Rosie O’Donnell vs. Donald Trump, as they have been feuding in the media for a good while. Sounds like wrestling time to me.

Vince McMahon talks about how there are matches which reshape the wrestling world, such as Sammartino vs. Graham, Hogan vs. Andre and Austin vs. The Rock. Tonight, it’s “the Brash Billionaire vs. the Left Leaning Lesbian!”. Vince has a cake and here is “Rosie” (played by indy wrestler Kiley McLean, who ever did anything) to be rather annoying. She’s happy with the cake (Rosie: “It’s my fudgey!”), which she thinks could have been colder. Vince: “You are what you eat.” She’ll devour Trump tonight too. This is dumber than it sounds, though I’m sure those TNA chants are just a figment of Vince’s imagination.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Kenny Dykstra

Jeff is defending and banged up from the cage match last night. Dykstra hammers him in the back but Jeff is right back with the slingshot dropkick in the corner. That’s enough to send Dykstra to the floor for a dive off the apron and we take a break. Back with Dykstra hitting a neckbreaker and a pair of clotheslines for one. A jumping back elbow gets two and we hit the chinlock. Jeff fights up for the Whisper in the Wind and a kick to the chest takes Dykstra out of the air. Cue Johnny Nitro to yell at Jeff but Ric Flair comes in to low blow Dykstra. The Twist of Fate and Swanton retain the title.

Rating: C-. That should set up a tag match as Flair vs. Dykstra continues. The match wasn’t much to see but for a pretty quick TV title defense, it worked out well. Dykstra continues to be a mostly average heel but Hardy getting a win should be fine. I’m not sure how much Hardy vs. Nitro needs to continue, but the matches, both singles and tags, should be good.

Rosie, with a muffin, likes the idea of going into the Divas locker room.

Earlier today, HHH went to see Dr. James Andrews and the surgery is tomorrow. He’s going to be out 4-6 months.

Rosie shows Maria and Candice Michelle vacation photos while looking at various parts of them. After Rosie leaves, Maria thinks Rosie liked her outfit. Candice agrees, though at least she seems to get it. This is the beat you over the head with the joke portion of the show.

Video on Great Khali being a monster.

Great Khali says….I’m assuming something about John Cena.

More on Rosie vs. Trump.

Victoria/Melina vs. Maria/Mickie James

Mickie takes Melina down by the arm to start and it’s off to Maria for the Bronco Buster. Maria gets taken into the corner so Victoria can beat her up a bit. Melina grabs a headscissors on the mat and a double hair takedown drops Maria again. Mickie dives onto Victoria but Melina runs the corner with a bulldog (the Extreme Makeover) to finish Maria.

“Trump”, played by Ace Steel, gets his hair ready.

Wrestlemania Recall: Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar. This is missing from Peacock for some reason.

Vince McMahon comes out to introduce the real main event, including Rosie O’Donnell with “all her lesbianic fury.”

Rosie O’Donnell vs. Donald Trump

Let’s get this over with. They talk trash to each other, mainly about food, and the referee actually gives instructions. The bell rings and Rosie has to go outside for some more fudge cake. The booing starts in a hurry and Trump gets shoved down into the corner. Trump takes his jacket off as the fans think this match sucks. Rosie shoulders him down and then does it again, followed by a Thesz press.

The fans find it boring and Rosie does the Hogan hand to the ear, drawing some TNA chants. Trump gets sent head first into the buckle but the hair blocks the impact. A headbutt sets up a failed slam attempt and Rosie falls on top for two. Trump goes outside to pick up the cake (Trump: “Come on fatty!”) and pushes it into Rosie’s face. The middle rope hairbutt (yes hairbutt) gives Trump the pin.

Rating: F. I’m not going to waste your time explaining why this wasn’t funny or how badly the fat/lesbian jokes come off because those things are obvious. This was WAY before Trump gained the reputation he has today and was still just little more than a punchline in wrestling, making this one of the more goofy topical things that Raw did. That’s not why this is an F though.

The F is for Federline, who did the celebrity deal SO much better last week. Federline was a punchline at this point and it made sense that people wanted to see him get beaten up. After Federline messed with Cena a few times, Cena destroyed him and stood tall with Federline (mostly) never being seen again. Federline was a fine heel and the whole thing wound up working.

This wasn’t funny, it wasn’t entertaining, it wasn’t smart and it wasn’t anything original. This was “hey these two don’t like each other so here’s a long segment saying that this is a thing that exists”. What’s the joke here? Trump has hair and Rosie likes cake? Those are the most tired, worn out punchlines for these two as you could ask for and they aren’t clever. This was going for the easiest joke in the world with no effort put in and two celebrities who couldn’t shut up about each other being a thing in the news. Terrible stuff and one of the biggest wastes of time Raw has ever seen.

Carlito vs. Chris Masters

Rematch from last night where Masters won. Carlito starts fast with a crossbody but Masters takes him into the corner and stomps away. Cue Torrie Wilson with the dog as Masters whips Carlito into various corners to set up a clothesline. The bearhug is broken up with some elbows so Masters grabs a powerslam for two. That means the bearhug can go on again but Carlito breaks it up again. This time it’s broken up with Masters being sent to the apron, where Torrie hits him with the bell. The Backstabber gives Carlito the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here with nothing going on that we haven’t seen a bunch of times before. Carlito vs. Masters isn’t exactly a thrilling feud but it keeps going on time after time. Torrie interfering to cost Masters the win makes sense here, though unfortunately it is probably going to set up another match between them. The fact that the previous ones weren’t all that great doesn’t make it any better but that’s Raw for you.

More from DX vs. Rated-RKO.

Here is Rated-RKO, with Edge limping and Randy Orton in a neck brace. We see a clip of HHH promising to destroy Rated-RKO, with Orton saying DX kept their word. Last night though, Edge promised to end DX, which Orton says was like losing a battle to win a war. They spilled a lot of blood, but HHH tore his quadricep. Last night, they took out DX, like no one else could.

Edge talks about the people who tried and failed to take out DX (Edge:” Spirit Squad? Please.”) but they did it. Well half of it, because next week, they are facing Shawn Michaels in a handicap match. Next week, they pull the plug, and DX is finally dead. Cue Shawn to say this might be the end of DX because his best friend is undergoing surgery tomorrow. Shawn is going to be there, and then he’ll deal with Rated-RKO. Kind of a weak segment, but they had to throw everything out on a day’s notice.

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Cryme Tyme

Shad headlocks Cade to start but gets double teamed down as we hear about how Rosie wore a watch in their match. The beatdown is on until Shad powers his way over to the corner for the hot tag to JTG. That means house can be cleaned, including a dropkick into a backdrop into a missile dropkick. The turnbuckle pad gets pulled off somewhere in there and Shad sends Murdoch into the steel to give JTG the pin.

Rating: D+. Another not too great match here with Cryme Tyme establishing pretty much the same thing that they did last night. It can help to have them get another win, but at some point they need to have a match that actually matters. Not the worst match, but it felt like a way to fill five minutes.

This Week In WWE History: Raw debuts. That’s worth a mention.

More Rosie vs. Trump clips. We’ve suffered enough, though hearing the TNA chants again helps. JR: “A man covering Rosie! Imagine that!” Screw off with that Vince line straight into JR’s ear.

Rosie is crying so Ron Simmons comes up for the catchphrase. She cries more.

Jerry Lawler interviews Vladimir Kozlov, who thinks Rosie vs. Trump was funny. Oh and he can beat John Cena and Great Khali.

Eugene is excited for the main event but gets scared of Khali.

John Cena vs. Great Khali

Non-title and Armando Alejandro Estrada is on commentary. Cena circles around and gets in a right hand but is knocked outside in a hurry. Back in and Cena’s running forearm to the chest has no effect. Instead, Khali hits an elbow in the corner as Estrada grabs a chair. Cena takes said chair and blasts Khali for the fast DQ.

Post match, Khali chops Cena down without a problem. Khali leaves and here is Umaga to destroy Cena again to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Yeah this was pretty horrible, with the show being centered around one of the dumber ideas that the company has done in a good while. The main idea was just horrible and the rest of the show wasn’t much better, leaving the show as quite the mess. The only important thing set up was Umaga vs. Cena II, with the Royal Rumble not being mentioned. This was all about Rosie vs. Trump though, and that is all but a guaranteed way to waste a week.

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New Year’s Revolution 2007
Date: January 7, 2007
Location: Kemper Memorial Arena, Kansas City, Missouri
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the first pay per view of the year with Raw running the annual early January show. This time around we have a double main event of John Cena defending the Raw World Title against the undefeated Umaga and a pretty big grudge match between D-Generation X and Rated-RKO, winner gets the exclusive hyphen rights. Let’s get to it.

The cage is lowered for the opening.

Opening sequence, featuring a look at the double main event and nothing else. That is probably a good idea.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

In a cage and Nitro, with Melina, is challenging. Nitro starts fast by hammering him around the ring early on and Hardy gets pounded down in the corner. Hardy is back with some right hands but a belly to back faceplant puts him down again. The Flying Chuck gets two on Hardy, who scores with the flying clothesline/half Sling Blade. The mule kick drops Nitro again but a Stunner over the top rope cuts Hardy off. Nitro drives him into the cage (first time it has been used so far) but Jeff is right back to cut off a climb attempt.

A dropkick sends Nitro back first into the cage and they both crash down. Hardy can’t get out yet, despite a heck of a jump to the top of the cage. Nitro belly to back superplexes him right back down but Hardy is back with a catapult into the cage. They both go up to the top and it’s a super Russian legsweep to bring them both back down. Hardy goes up so Nitro climbs onto him for the save, setting up a sunset bomb for another double knockdown. Nitro is up first and tries to climb out so Hardy pulls him…not down as Nitro has his legs tied in the cage, meaning Jeff crashes hard.

Since that is rather painful, Nitro comes back down and Jeff reaches for the cage, only to have Melina whip the wall with her belt. A missile dropkick puts Hardy down again but he counters a high crossbody into….something, but it puts them both down. It’s Nitro up first but Hardy pulls him over the top, only to have a super Twist of Fate broken up. Nitro starts climbing out as Hardy goes for the door, meaning Nitro climbs around to the door to stop him instead of, you know, jumping down. Melina blocks the door as a bonus, so Hardy kicks it open, crotching Nitro on the top in the process, and retains.

Rating: B-. This was built around the idea of two people going up and then crashing back down a lot, which is where Hardy excels. The ending was clever too so it was a pretty good way to go about the title match. It’s a smart choice for an opener as anyone can get into the idea of a cage match, especially between some people as talented as these two.

Rated-RKO can’t believe that they are being asked about how their issues with DX became personal. They have busted DX open and now they are fighting for their futures. Tonight, they’re finishing DX.

Tag Team Turmoil

Bonus match for the #1 contendership. The Highlanders are in at #1 and Charlie Haas/Shelton Benjamin are in at #2 to get things going. Rory and Haas start things off with neither getting very far, meaning it’s off to Robbie instead. Haas gets taken into the corner but Rory misses a charge in the corner, allowing the villains to take over. Benjamin gets to hit the jumping dive onto Rory’s back and Haas adds a slam onto the back for two.

The chinlock goes on but Shelton’s legs go off on a slam, allowing Rory to fall on top for two. Robbie comes in and gets to clean some house, including a belly to back suplex to Haas. Benjamin rakes Robbie’s eyes on top though and a top rope superplex is good for the pin. Jim Duggan/Super Crazy is in at #3 (much to commentary’s shock) with Duggan hammering and clotheslining Benjamin.

A running knee lift takes Duggan back down and the beating is on in the corner. Duggan hits the three point clothesline for a breather though and the hot tag brings in Crazy to pick up the pace. Crazy hits a basement dropkick on Haas but Benjamin hits a cheap shot from the floor, allowing Haas to grab a bridging German suplex for the pin. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch are in at #4 with Cade slamming Benjamin in a hurry.

An atomic drop sets up Murdoch’s big boot and the neck crank goes on. A neckbreaker finally gets Benjamin out of trouble and it’s back to Haas to (barely) pick up the pace. Haas flapjacks Murdoch to set up the Haas of Pain (an underrated hold) but Cade breaks it up, allowing Murdoch to steal the pin. Cryme Tyme is in at #5 as JR tries to figure out if there are any more teams left on the Raw roster. Given that we had one new team thrown in, that means the division is four teams, plus the champs who are barely involved with the rest of the teams.

Shad hammers Cade down to start but JTG dances a bit too long, allowing Murdoch to come back in. Commentary confirms that these are the last two teams and Murdoch elbows JTG down. Some choking with the tag rope keeps JTG in trouble but Murdoch dives into a raised boot. Cade breaks up the hot tag though because this match needs to keep going. JTG finally slides out of a double suplex though and it’s the hot tag to Shad so house can be cleaned. Everything breaks down and the G9 hits Cade to give Shad the pin.

Rating: D. This was long, not very interesting and showed how lame the tag division is at the moment. Cryme Tyme was the only option to win here and it could be a good Tag Team Title match, but this really did not need to go almost twenty minutes. Pretty bad match here, but much more boring than bad, which is even worse.

Vince McMahon and Jonathan Coachman are in the back with Vince complaining about how much Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump have been yelling at each other as of late. Coach thinks it sounds like something coming out of the WWE. Vince: “It sounds like something coming out of the WWE.” Therefore, we need to resolve it with physical abuse, meaning we can have a match between the two of them on Raw. Oh here we go. Coach is also glad that Vince has taken back YOU’RE FIRED and goes on about it so long that Vince leaves. Ron Simmons comes in for the catchphrase.

Ric Flair vs. Kenny Dykstra

Dykstra comes out in a Flair style robe. Before the match, he talks about knowing that Flair got hit with a Conchairto on Raw but just because Flair saying that he is “still recovering” is no excuse to not come out here and take his beating. Cue Flair in the pink robe and we’re ready to go. Commentary talks about how much Flair had accomplished by the time Kenny was born (four World Titles) as Dykstra hits the strut to start. A dropkick puts Flair down for an early two and there’s a fist drop to keep him in trouble.

Flair is right back with the chops and shots to the face, including a big chop to put Kenny on the floor. That’s too much waiting for Flair so he follows Kenny out, only to get suplexed for a hard landing. Back in and another suplex gives Kenny two, followed by a strutting elbow for the same. Kenny grabs a Boston crab to draw some screaming but Flair (very) eventually makes the rope.

Flair chops his way out of the corner but Kenny knocks him right back down. Kenny’s Figure Four attempt is countered into a small package for two and Flair unloads in the corner. For some reason Flair goes up top but gets slammed back down. A poke to the eye gives Flair a breather though and it’s time for some chop blocks. There’s a knee to the head and a step between the legs, setting up the Figure Four. Flair even gets in some slaps but Kenny finally makes the rope. They slug it out in the corner until Kenny gets in a quick low blow, setting up the small package for the pin.

Rating: D+. Much like the previous match, this wasn’t the most interesting match because Dykstra isn’t exactly thrilling to see most of the time. They’re playing up the idea that Flair doesn’t have it anymore, but the head injury wasn’t a factor and it was mainly Flair getting beaten up for ten minutes. I’ll give them points for trying with Kenny though, as they could use some fresh talent.

Melina checks on Johnny Nitro in the trainer’s room. Nitro says to call Joey Mercury because the Hardys are going to pay for what they did. Melina goes to make the call but runs into Victoria, who says Melina is the one Diva missing from her list. That’s because they can be a team who can take over the women’s division. If Melina helps her win the Women’s Title tonight, Melina can have the first title shot.

We recap Victoria’s hit list, setting up her title shot tonight.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Mickie James

Victoria is challenging and shoves Mickie down without much effort to start. Something like a Muta Lock has Mickie in trouble and Victoria shows off a bit by backflipping onto her feet. Mickie is back up with some armdrags into a dropkick for two but the hurricanrana out of the corner is broken up. Instead Victoria kicks her to the floor for a drop onto the apron. Back in and a hair toss gives Victoria two but she misses a moonsault.

Mickie slugs away for two and grabs a hurricanrana out of the corner. Cue Melina to check on Victoria so Mickie hits her in the face. The MickieDT is broken up by a Melina distraction. Cue Maria and Candice Michelle to take care of Melina as Mickie reverses the Widow’s Peak into a sunset flip for two. Mickie counters a slam into a tornado DDT for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was kind of a mess and the ending didn’t make it much better. The problem here was that there wasn’t much of a reason to believe that Victoria was winning the title, even though she pinned Mickie a few weeks ago. Then you throw in the interference, which was hardly interesting either. Not terrible, but this show is needing a big pick up and this wasn’t it.

Post match Mickie, Candice, Maria and Lilian Garcia (who Victoria went after as well) celebrate.

We recap Rated-RKO vs. D-Generation X, which somehow is focused almost entirely on Ric Flair. Rated-RKO took Flair out and since DX are basically Flair’s kids, it’s time for some revenge. DX got beaten down as well though, even if that doesn’t make it quite as personal as the Flair stuff.

Tag Team Titles: Rated-RKO vs. D-Generation X

Rated-RKO is defending. Before the match, HHH uses his weird frosted cereal analogy and it still doesn’t quite work. The brawl starts in the aisle, as it should have in a feud this violent. HHH backdrops Edge onto the ramp and throws him inside for the bell and some right hands from Shawn. It’s already off to HHH to stomp away and sends Edge face first into the corner but Shawn misses a charge into the post. Orton gets to come in and hammer away in the corner, only to get snapmared down for a stomp to the face.

There’s an elbow on the apron from HHH and a legdrop from Shawn as the beating continues. Orton is a bit cut open so DX takes turns hammering away at the head. Edge’s cheap shot from the apron cuts HHH off though and the champs take over for the first time. HHH’s leg is wrapped around the post but he kicks a Figure Four attempt away to send Edge shoulder first into the post. The hot tag brings in Shawn to clean house and there’s the big dive to the floor to take out Edge and Orton.

They head back in, with Edge spearing Shawn off the apron and back to the floor. Orton gets in a belt shot to Shawn to bust him open as well (and much worse than Orton) and Edge is right there to hammer on the cut. Back in and Orton hits the rapid fire circle stomp for two and it’s off to Edge again for more right hands to the head. Orton forearms away at the back and strikes a pose, followed by some raking of the eyes. The double arm crank goes on but Shawn fights up for a suplex.

Edge hits a big boot though and it’s Orton coming back in to load up the RKO. Since that takes the better part of ever, Shawn shoves it away and it’s a double tag to bring in Edge and HHH. House is cleaned and there’s a facebuster into a clothesline to send Edge outside. The spinebuster hits Orton….and HHH has torn his quad again (meaning he’ll be gone until Summerslam). He is still able to hit (most of) a spinebuster on Edge for two but Orton hits an RKO (or as close as HHH can get to taking one).

Shawn superkicks Orton down and Edge covers HHH for two. Back up the spear hits corner, allowing HHH to hit a better than expected Pedigree. That seems to be all he had left though as he can’t really cover, with Orton making a save. Shawn sends Orton outside for a dive and hits the referee, followed by a pair of nasty chair shots. HHH gets a chair of his own as Orton is WAY busted open. DX unloads with chair shots and stands tall as the match is thrown out.

Rating: B. HHH managing to fight through the ending alone is worth a bonus as that is one of the more impressive things I’ve seen in a good bit. It was a good match leading up to the injury and then they kept it moving even after that. With the ending being the perfect way to keep things going and get out of a bad situation. HHH was impressive here but it’s a shame that he is going to be gone for so long.

Post match (Maybe?) it’s a Pedigree to put Edge onto (not through) the announcers’ table and Shawn’s elbow puts Orton through another announcers’ table.

John Cena is told that it is clear Umaga wants some, but will he get some. Cena does his movie trailer/hype man impression and manages to mock Umaga’s lack of English at the same time. Thankfully Cena gets serious and admits that he is up against a monster who has not been pinned or made to submit. He isn’t going to give up though because he is proud to call himself the WWE Champion. Umaga is undefeated but nothing lasts forever and nothing is stopping him from leaving as WWE Champion.

Orton’s blood is EVERYWHERE, with a pool of it laying on the floor.

Carlito vs. Chris Masters

Torrie Wilson is here with Carlito. Masters bails into the corner to start so Carlito takes him down and hammers away with left hands. A backdrop gets Masters out of trouble but Carlito is right back with a shot to the face. The double springboard moonsault gives Carlito two but Masters throws him down with one arm. A backbreaker into a clothesline gets two on Carlito and Masters asks if he is trying to impress Torrie. Back up and Carlito hits a knee lift into a flapjack for two so Masters tries the Masterlock. That’s blocked as well but the counter is countered into a cradle (with trunks) to give Masters the pin.

Rating: C-. Another Raw level match here and that is not what the show needed. Masters and Carlito are not the most interesting people in the first place and now we get to see them having a pay per view match in the cool down spot. That isn’t exactly thrilling and I was hoping that they would get on with it already.

Post match Masters knocks Carlito out with the Masterlock.

We recap Umaga vs. John Cena for the Raw World Title. Umaga is an undefeated monster so he is getting a title shot. Before we get there, Umaga beat Cena up a few times but Cena isn’t backing down.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Umaga

Umaga is challenging and has Armando Alejandro Estrada in his corner. We’re ready to go after the Big Match Intros with Cena sticking and moving to start. A missed charge to the floor does a bit more damage but Cena goes after him again and gets tossed outside. Back in and Cena gets up an elbow and boot in the corner, earning himself a hard clothesline. Cena hammers away with right hands but gets taken down with a Samoan drop.

Umaga knocks him face first into the announcers’ table and then the barricade for a bonus. Back in and Cena can’t sunset flip or slam him, with Umaga falling on top for two on the latter. A legdrop gets two but Umaga misses a charge, allowing Cena to go up. The high crossbody is countered into the swinging release Rock Bottom for two as Umaga keeps the pace slow. Umaga sits down on Cena’s chest as JR compares him to Yokozuna. Another cannonball lands on raised knees but Umaga sends him outside without much effort.

The nerve holds keeps Cena in trouble and an elbow to the face drops him again. The middle rope Samoan Spike only hits mat though and Cena wins the slugout. Cena sends him head first into the post and the ProtoBomb drops Umaga again. Umaga is back with the belly to belly and hangs Cena in the Tree of Woe for the flying headbutt. The running Umaga Attack hits boots though and Cena grabs a rollup out of nowhere to retain the title.

Rating: B-. I really liked the finish here as it felt like the most out of nowhere finish they could have had. That’s also the smartest finish they could have had, as it would have been a bit waste to have Umaga go down to the FU. Umaga completely dominated here but got caught instead of getting beaten. That’s a perfect way to set up a rematch and I’d be down for another one. What they did worked well, even if it wasn’t a great match on the way there.

Post match Cena celebrates as Umaga breaks a lot of stuff to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The two major matches helped a lot but this was one of the most lifeless shows that I have seen in a very long time. It just wasn’t a very entertaining show with most of the matches being more boring than bad. There wasn’t much on here that felt pay per view worthy and while the two big matches worked, they didn’t work enough to make up for the rest of the show.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 1, 2007
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 15,169
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the first show of the year, along with being the go home show for New Year’s Revolution. That means things are going to pick up in a hurry, so we’ll start with….the Kevin Federline match. The best thing we can hope for here is that it is over in a hurry so we can move on to anything else, as the fifteen minutes have to be long past up. Let’s get to it.

Here are the most recent results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of John Cena vs. Kevin Federline. He has been a good celebrity but egads it feels bottom of the barrel.

Opening sequence.

John Cena vs. Kevin Federline

Non-title and they aren’t wasting time with this one. Federline comes out in a boxing robe and announces that Jonathan Coachman has made this No DQ. Therefore, here is Johnny Nitro to be in Federline’s corner, which does make sense. Nitro gives Federline his mouthpiece but hang on again as Federline has to put on his gloves. Hang on again as Federline needs some headgear and NOW we’re ready to go.

Federline’s headlock is broken as quickly as you would expect so there go the gloves. Hang on again though as Federline has an idea: let’s make this a Masterlock Challenge! Cena has a seat in the chair but Federline changes his mind. Instead it’s a test of strength….with Federline pulling him into a cross armbreaker of all things. That’s countered into a powerbomb but Nitro comes in, allowing Federline to hit a low blow. Cue Umaga and Armando Alejandro Estrada to beat Cena down, including a belt shot, to give Federline the cocky pin.

Rating: C. Yeah this was completely fine and nothing unexpected. Federline did a bunch of the classic hits here and that is all it needed to be. This was MUCH better than having Federline try to work a match and it added some heat to Sunday’s title match. There was no need to try anything more complicated and this could have been much, much worse.

Post break, Maria tries to talk to Federline but Melina isn’t having any of that. Melina isn’t having any of that because Maria called him K-Fed. Instead they can have a match later, but Melina gives her a slap for a preview.

DX talks strategy in the back, I’m guessing for a chess tournament.

We go to Kevin Federline’s celebration, complete with Johnny Nitro, Melina and a bunch of women. Coach comes in to make a four on one handicap match with John Cena facing Armando Alejandro Estrada, Umaga, Nitro and….Coach himself. Of note: Coach reminds us that Nitro has an Intercontinental Title shot at the pay per view, which has been mostly forgotten since the match was announced.

Some members of the Miami Heat, including Shaquille O’Neal, are here.

Cryme Tyme/Highlanders vs. Shelton Benjamin/Charlie Haas/Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Cryme Tyme says hi to Shaq during the entrances. Cade charges into Rory’s elbow in the corner to start so JTG comes in to dance around a bit. That earns him a kick to the ribs and Haas comes in for a butterfly suplex. Benjamin and Murdoch don’t seem to be on the same page so Cade drops a leg instead. A missed middle rope elbow gives JTG a breather and the hot tag brings in Shad to slug away. Shad’s belly to back suplex gets two and everything breaks down. A jawbreaker sends Murdoch into the ropes with JTG snapping the back of his neck over the top for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but Cryme Tyme getting another pin is a good idea. Above all else, the tag team division needs some fresh teams and Cryme Tyme has been built up rather well. The rest of the teams are just kind of there, though Haas and Benjamin should take all of eighteen seconds to reheat if needed.

Wrestlemania Recall: the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling.

Jeff Hardy vs. Rob Conway

Non-title. Before the match, Conway says that he is sick of losing around here and if he loses again, he’s done with Raw. Conway then loses in about 20 seconds to a sunset flip in his last televised match in WWE.

Post match Conway is still in the ring and here is Vince McMahon for a chat. Vince talks about how many people break their New Year’s resolution, just like Conway already did. He isn’t breaking his though, which includes not being nice and letting people take advantage of him. That means he isn’t going to be like his good friend Donald Trump, who is having trouble with Rosie O’Donnell, who he refers to as Yokozuna. Speaking of Trump, Vince doesn’t like him stealing his catchphrase, so Conway is FIRED.

Kenny Dykstra says Ric Flair offering a handshake wasn’t about Flair, but about himself. They say deaths come in threes, but tonight he’s going to make it four: James Brown, Gerald Ford, Saddaam Hussein and Ric Flair’s career.

We look at Rated-RKO attacking Ric Flair a few weeks ago, leading to DX wanting revenge. Then Rated-RKO destroyed DX on the last Raw of the year.

Here is DX for a chat and they seem rather chipper despite being taken out two weeks ago. Shawn says he can’t pretend what he just saw didn’t happen but they are out of competition. They have beaten a bunch of people who are either gone or jerking the curtain somewhere else. Now they have Rated-RKO show up and finally you have two guys who have a set. Then they took out Ric Flair and beat him within an inch of his life. They one upped themselves by laying out DX, which is someone no one has ever done before.

That’s why the violence is coming at New Year’s Revolution. HHH says Rated-RKO thinks they have them in the palm of their hands, but remember when Vince McMahon thought that? It’s because DX is like…..Frosted Mini Wheats? They have two sides: the sweet and sugary side (Shawn: “I like the sugary side!”) and the other side, who is going to make Rated-RKO bleed. This was some weird mix of goofy and serious and it only kind of worked.

Melina vs. Maria

Melina is in workout gear for some reason and Victoria comes out for commentary. Maria knocks her into the corner to start and hammers away as the catfight is on. Victoria rants on the lack of spots because of people like Mickie James as Melina snaps Maria’s neck across the top. Maria gets a boot up in the corner and hammers away as Victoria wants her to just go back to the beach already. A rollup goes badly for Melina so she stacks Maria up (with nothing in between) for the pin.

Post match Victoria goes after Lilian Garcia but Mickie James runs out for the save.

Video on Tribute to the Troops, set to a Goo Goo Dolls song.

Ric Flair/Carlito vs. Kenny Dykstra/Chris Masters

Torrie Wilson is here with the good ones. JR: “Now Kenny has a last name. And a hometown!” Masters tags Kenny in rather than facing Carlito (the hair is frightening) but comes in after Kenny takes him down. It’s quickly off to Flair for a chop block to Masters but Kenny breaks up the Figure Four in a hurry. We take a break and come back with Masters taking Carlito into the corner and Kenny grabbing the chinlock. It’s back to Masters for some chops in the corner and a chinlock of his own.

There’s a gorilla press for two but Carlito is back up with a springboard elbow to the face. Kenny is smart enough to go outside and knock Flair off the apron, leaving Carlito to get Masterlocked. Flair comes back in for the save as everything breaks down. The hot tag brings Flair back in to chop away but Masters clotheslines him down. Carlito and Masters fight to the floor as Kenny sends Flair into the buckle and grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C-. Pretty basic match here, though the ending didn’t exactly do much for anyone. Above all else, it continues the Kenny push and it is only working so well. The fact that JR is mocking him for getting a last name and a hometown should tell you everything there is to know about his development. Kenny needed to go away for a long time to get rid of the Spirit Squad aura, but this isn’t a complete disaster yet.

Post match Flair says this isn’t over but here is Rated-RKO to take Flair out, including another Conchairto. I’m guessing DX stepped out for stroganoff. Flair is checked on, and after a break, he is still being checked on.

New Year’s Revolution rundown, including Kenny vs. Flair and Carlito vs. Masters.

Here’s Kevin Federline to say he told us so. He shocked the world earlier and it was so fun that he is going to have a seat at ringside. John Cena can’t see him.

John Cena vs. Armando Alejandro Estrada/Umaga/Jonathan Coachman/Johnny Nitro

Kevin Federline is on commentary. Cena charges in to slug it out with Umaga and low bridges the monster to the floor. Nitro comes in to hammer away but gets release fisherman’s suplexed. Umaga is back in for a Samoan drop and Coach gets in a few shots. That triggers the comeback so Cena cleans house, including getting Umaga in the STFU. Estrada brings in a chair but Cena takes it away and hits Umaga in the head for the DQ.

Post match Cena cleans house and grabs Federline for the FU. A lot of posing and staring ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Not much of a show here, but it felt like they were scrambling to get through the show while also focusing on the Federline stuff (which went shockingly well). New Year’s Revolution feels like something that is just there too, with stuff like the Intercontinental Title match barely being mentioned. Cena vs. Umaga and DX vs. Rated-RKO should be enough to carry the show, but it wasn’t exactly a great commercial for the pay per view.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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