Monday Night Raw – July 31, 2006: What They Should Be Doing

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 31, 2006
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,401
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Things are back to normal this week as HHH is back from the hospital after Stephanie McMahon gave birth. We’re on the road to Summerslam with about three weeks left and that means it’s time to start setting up some of the card. You can probably guess some of it from here but we still need some official announcements. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are Vince and Shane McMahon to open things up. Vince says you can’t get the smiles off of their faces because his baby girl had a baby girl. His granddaughter is already more wealthy than anyone here and the celebration will keep going through Summerslam. That’s because the two of them will be facing D-Generation X at Summerslam. DX’s music starts….and then shuts off almost immediately. Shane mentions Shawn Michaels vs. Umaga tonight….and the music starts again, only to cut off even faster.

Then it plays for real as DX comes out, with Shawn giving Vince and Shane some Jewish greetings. HHH: “Uh, we’re not Jewish.” With that out of the way, Shawn talks about HHH being in the hospital room with Stephanie last week and he has the entire McMahon family photo album. First up is the first known photo of Vince, but please forgive the photography because these pre-Civil War photos don’t hold up well. It’s baby Vince (with the adult face) and an I HEART ROOSTERS shirt.

Shane’s first photo features a silver spoon in his mouth, with Shawn saying Shane jumped on the doctor’s table and started dancing with his umbilical cord. There’s one more, and that is of course a photo of the newest member of the McMahon Family. It’s HHH, with Shawn not being able to put his finger on who it is. Shane: “At Summerslam, we’re going to be changing your diapers.” HHH: “Did you just say you’re going to change our diapers?” HHH has some advice for Vince’s granddaughter’s nutritional health: SUCK IT.

We hear from the Diva Search girls, as they say who they want to send home. They’re going one at a time throughout the night, because we’re just that lucky.

Intercontinental Title: Johnny Nitro vs. Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin

Nitro, with Melina, is defending. Carlito breaks up Nitro’s rather lengthy entrance but Benjamin takes the two of them down and we go to an early break. Back with Nitro missing a running shooting star press, allowing Carlito to sunset flip Benjamin for two. Nitro gets knocked down so Carlito hammers away on Benjamin. There’s a hurricanrana to send Benjamin outside but he comes back in with a DDT to Carlito. Melina puts the foot on the ropes for the save so Shelton yells at her, allowing Nitro to roll Carlito up with tights to retain.

Rating: C. The action was good while it lasted but they only had so much time given the commercial. Nitro escaping with the title works well enough as Melina is a great way to keep the title on him. Carlito looked fired up here too, which isn’t something you get to see all that often.

Here’s Randy Orton for a chat. He has had a big career, and that includes his own reality show: Orton Knows Best. Orton brings out the rest of the cast: Nick, Brooke, Linda and Hulk himself, all of whom are a bit over the top with the parodies. Nick wants to be a wrestler like his old man, so Orton says he’ll have to get used to this, with Orton sending him to the floor.

Orton hits on Brooke so Hulk hits the catchphrases and posing. Orton knows he’s the over protective father and says he can kiss his career goodbye at Summerslam. For now though, he has another kiss in mind and kisses Brooke. The RKO lays Hulk out but Orton isn’t done, as he heads to the floor to slap Jerry Lawler for helping Hogan last week.

Armando Alejandro Estrada offers Vince and Shane a congratulatory cigar and has more boxes in his car. He’s off to get them, with Vince and Shane approving.

Lawler isn’t happy with what Orton did and wants to face him next week in Memphis, Tennessee. Just don’t expect a wrestling match.

Trish Stratus/Candice Michelle vs. Mickie James/Victoria

Torrie Wilson is guest referee. Victoria knocks Candice down to start but Candice cranks on her arm. That just earns her a knee to the face as JR talks about fishing. Mickie comes in for an exchange of forearms and a lot of shouting as Lawler is too busy talking about Orton to make horrible comments. Victoria gets crotched on top and the hot tag brings in Trish to clean house. A kick to the chest sends Victoria to the floor and Trish powerbombs Mickie to counter a hurricanrana out of the corner. Stratusfaction hits Mickie and Candice dropkicks Victoria to the floor as Trish gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Run of the mill women’s tag here with Torrie only there for the sake of promoting her appearance in FHM. It was rather striking how much easier this was to watch without Lawler’s usual antics though and that’s a rather nice change of pace. Not their worst effort either, with some of the better in-ring women out there this time.

Mick Foley congratulates Johnny Nitro and Melina on their win. Foley is a little anxious about being on the show for the first time in six weeks, so he asks Melina to come to the ring with him.

Melina introduces Foley, who says he is going to give the fans what they want: Foley and Ric Flair in the ring tonight…..going after the Tag Team Titles! Ok so that’s ridiculous, but they do have some similarities. They both like to take young wrestlers under their wing. Flair did it with Randy Orton in Evolution and Foley did the same thing with Melina. They both have famous friends too. Flair is a personal friend of the President of the United States while Foley is a personal friend of adult film star Christy Canyon. One of their friends made it to the top by screwing a lot of people, and the other is in adult films.

Foley has been on the front page of USA Today twice and has been interviewed by Katie Couric twice. Flair makes headlines for road rage incidents. Cue Flair, who says Foley needs to keep his mouth shut. Flair says the two of them are ready to go and this isn’t about Foley’s book. They’re booing Alex Rodriguez in New York and the people here are booing Foley because he’s lazy. Foley has been talking about the “imaginary bada****” that Flair has faced, sending Flair into a rant about Bruiser Brody, Stan Hansen and Harley Race, who would walk over Foley on their way to the bathroom.

Flair wants Foley with thumbtacks, ladders and barbed wire because he wants Foley’s blood. Flair rolls across the ring and says he wants whatever Cactus Jack has. Then you have Foley talking about his wife and kids while he’s running around with Melina. She’s the kind of woman who would be Space Mountainized fifteen years ago. Foley says Flair sees Melina as a conquest but he sees kindness in her eyes. And no, Foley isn’t going to take family advice from someone who has been married three times.

Foley talks about a fourteen hour flight with Flair from Manila where they talked about family. Flair called all four of his kids because you never know when you might not get to talk to them again. That’s a great relationship, but Foley will never have to tell his kids that he has been arrested. Flair punches him in the face but here’s Jonathan Coachman to say Vince McMahon has made the match for Summerslam.

Foley says not so fast, because his contract says he wrestles when he wants, where he wants, and he isn’t wasting one of his remaining matches on Flair. This was rather intense with Flair reaching levels he hasn’t touched in a long time and Foley doing his mind games and personal insults perfectly. The Melina addition is a little weird, but you could feel the personal animosity here.

Edge vs. John Cena is confirmed for Summerslam and if Edge gets disqualified, he loses the title.

John Cena vs. Matt Striker

Before the match, Striker says Cena damages the English language by calling his fans homies. Edge and Lita come out to join commentary as the STFU finishes in about a minute.

Rory McCallister vs. Johnny

Everyone else is at ringside. Rory grabs a headlock to start but gets shoved away, with Mitch throwing in the megaphone. The referee takes it away from Johnny and uses it to eject the Spirit Squad in a cute moment. Rory hammers away but gets slammed head first into the mat for his efforts. The headlock doesn’t last long on Rory, who slugs away and hits some ax handles to the chest. Johnny kicks him down but Rory grabs a quick small package for the pin.

Rating: D+. So the Squad loses the title match the previous week and then they start building up the team? I could go for a rematch after the first one had a screwy ending, but at least they seem to have a little something going. It’s not like the Squad has anyone coming after the titles outside of the Highlanders.

Here are the Diva Search girls so Rebecca can be eliminated.

We look at the Wrestlemania XXIII press conference.

DX is in their locker room when some investigators come in to say they have a reason to believe HHH has some illegal substances. They find the Cuban cigars and he’ll have to go downtown. Vince and Shane find this rather amusing.

Shawn Michaels vs. Umaga

Armando Alejandro Estrada is here with Umaga. Shawn slugs away to start and hammers away in the corner to little avail. Umaga gets annoyed so Shawn slides between his legs to the floor as the McMahons come out. We take a break and come back with Umaga hitting a running headbutt, followed by a kick to the face to put Shawn on the floor. Back in and Umaga stomps away in the corner before hitting the neck crank.

Shawn fights up as expected and chops away until the running forearm puts Umaga down. There’s the nip up so Estrada gets on the apron, only to be knocked down by Umaga. The pop up Samoan drop crushes Shawn though and Vince gets on the apron for some motivation. That’s enough for Shawn to hit a low blow but Vince grabs the leg to break up Sweet Chin Music. Shawn takes out Shane but the distraction lets Umaga hit the Spike for the pin.

Rating: C. Shawn can have this kind of match in his sleep and knows exactly how to face off with a monster like Umaga. The match was full of shenanigans of course and Shawn doesn’t lose much by getting pinned, but Umaga got a lot out of the win and that’s what matters. They’re building him up and if that’s what DX is good for in this run, so be it.

Post match the McMahons beat Shawn down, including a superkick to send a chair into his face. Vince makes HHH vs. Umaga for next week to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a show where the wrestling wasn’t the focus as they built some things up for the future in a hurry. The McMahons having Umaga as their ace in the hole is the best thing that has happened to the story in a long time and we have the top part of the Summerslam card set. That’s a pretty efficient show and I could go for more of them like this in the future.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw – July 24, 2006: They Were A Little Preoccupied

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 24, 2006
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re on the way to Summerslam and that means it’s time to start cranking up the build towards the show. You can guess where a lot of the card is going but they still need to hammer home some of the details. That can be quite the tricky situation but hopefully they can figure it out. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Shawn Michaels (and only Shawn, as Stephanie McMahon went into labor earlier in the day so the McMahons and HHH are a little busy) to get things going. A few weeks ago, he and HHH said that Stephanie McMahon had gone into labor and that was a lie. After a quick chat with God, Shawn says that life imitates art because Stephanie is currently in a hospital in Connecticut giving birth. As good family, Vince and Shane are at her side but HHH is at the hospital as well. Now between you and me, Shawn thinks HHH knows who the father is.

Cue Jonathan Coachman, on the phone with Vince, to interrupt. Vince has decided that Shawn won’t be running amuck tonight because the Coach is in charge. Shawn takes the phone and has Cleveland give Shawn two words. Shawn: “No sir they didn’t say that. They said hi!”

Shawn gives Vince some Lamaze lessons and then hands the phone to Coach because Vince is rather annoyed. Coach hangs up and Shawn asks if Vince asked about him. It turns out that Vince has made a match tonight with Shawn vs…..Coach himself. Shawn pauses and then bursts out laughing needing Coach to hold him up. A pause sets up more laughter and Shawn falls to the mat in hysterics. They had to throw this together at the last minute so this was as good of a plan as they could think of.

We look back at Randy Orton attacking Hulk Hogan at Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Lilian Garcia is back so we look at Viscera attacking her two weeks ago.

Tag Team Titles: Spirit Squad vs. Highlanders

The Highlanders are challenging. Kenny sends Rory (not Robbie JR/Lawler) into the buckle and it goes rather badly. Everything breaks down in a hurry with the Highlanders getting in some right hands in the corner. Rory is sent outside and it’s Robbie in trouble until he neckbreakers his way to freedom. It’s off to Rory to clean house but a distraction lets the rest of the team break up the Scot Drop. Kenny Rolls the Dice to finish Rory and retain the titles.

Rating: D. Well that was necessary. They bring the Highlanders in, give them some nothing wins, and then have the Squad beat them in about three minutes. It might not be the end of the team, but were they that bad that you needed to have them lose so soon? Nothing match due to the time, but man that’s a fast defeat after bringing them in.

Mick Foley joins us from WWE Studios and can’t believe that Ric Flair called him “fat boy” last week. It hurt then and it hurt thirty years ago when Foley’s brother used it on him. Flair uses a fourth grade insult because he has nothing left and is nothing but a second rate circus sideshow. What has become of Flair? Now all he is doing is attacking innocent women, one of whom happens to be a friend of Foley’s. He’ll see Flair next Monday.

This week in wrestling history: Great American Bash 1989. Yep that works.

Here’s Ric Flair for a chat. Flair talks about the clip we just saw, which featured him beating up Foley’s mentor Terry Funk. Now all Flair wants is Foley in a match in any arena in this country. Cue Edge and Lita to say that Edge is the man now….and here’s Johnny Nitro to jump Flair from behind. The double teaming is on but John Cena runs in for the save.

Carlito hits on Trish Stratus and they’ll be hanging out after the match.

Coach is on the phone with Vince McMahon to try and get out of the match but Edge and Lita come in to rant about what just happened. Vince has a solution: Edge/Nitro vs. Cena/Flair tonight.

We get an official announcement that Stephanie has given birth to a girl named Aurora Rose.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito

For the #1 contendership to the Intercontinental Title, which Carlito beat Shelton for last week. Carlito grabs some early rollups for near falls to start and a quick dropkick gets two. Benjamin is sent to the apron but pulls Carlito over the top by the arm to take over. Back in and a DDT on the arm sets up an armbar to stay on the shoulder.

Carlito fights up and hits a hurricanrana to head up top, only to dive into a Fujiwara armbar. The rope gives Carlito the break and he counters a powerbomb into a sunset flip for two. The Backstabber connects for two as Shelton gets his foot on the rope. With nothing else working, Carlito takes the turnbuckle pad off so the referee goes to yell. Shelton uses the distraction to get in a low blow for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C-. They had a little more time here though this would seem to be setting up a triple threat for the title at Summerslam. If that’s the case, I’ve heard of far worse ideas than putting these two with Nitro on a big stage for a title. It could work out well for all three and WWE could benefit from pushing younger stars for the Intercontinental Title.

We look at the Diva Dance Off from Smackdown.

Here’s Hulk Hogan (the greatest sports entertainment attraction of all time according to JR) and the ovation takes a rather good while, with the song starting over. Hulk talks about how crazy these Cleveland fans are but he knows that Randy Orton is crazy too. This wouldn’t even be the first time that he has dealt with the Orton family. Back in the 80s, Hogan dealt with Randy’s dad Bob.

When the blood was shed, there was respect on both sides. Now Hogan has to deal with Randy, who comes out to cut Hogan off. Randy is here to talk about Brooke Hogan and yes there was chemistry there. You could see it, even with Hulk’s fading eyesight. He and Brooke talked for at least five or ten minutes before Hulk showed up.

Brooke told him how handsome he was and how she loved the color of his eyes. The only bad thing is that Brooke is going to have to see her father’s legend killed. Hulk is ready to fight right now so Orton heads to ringside but takes his time. Hogan knocks him off the apron and into Jerry Lawler, who throws Orton inside for some right hands. Orton bails from the threat of the big boot. Nice little tease of the match here.

Mickie James vs. Candice Michelle

Non-title. Mickie kicks away for an early two and the chinlock goes on. Lawler makes his usual jokes as Mickie gets in the shoulders to the ribs. Candice is back with the figure four neck lock over the ropes, only to have Mickie roll through a high crossbody and grab trunks (or something close to them) for the fast pin.

Jerry Lawler threw out the first pitch at an Indians game.

Shawn Michaels vs. Jonathan Coachman

Shawn’s pyro is missing so he blames Coach. The bell rings so hang on a second as Shawn rolls outside to grab a skullcap. Coach nearly loses his pants and there’s the forearm into a nip up. The atomic drop sets up the top rope elbow….and here’s most of the Spirit Squad. Shawn dispatches them in a hurry so Sweet Chin Music drops the coach. Cue Umaga to jump Shawn for the DQ. This was an angle instead of a match but it worked fine.

Post match Umaga hits Shawn with the Samoan Spike to leave him laying as DX might have to sweat a bit for the first time in a few months.

John Cena thinks Maria is a little confused. Yes she’s beautiful, but sometimes he thinks she ate paint chips when she was a kid. Then sometimes he looks at her and thinks about things he only see in Penthouse Forum and….where was he going with this again? Anyway the show is being run by a phone tonight because Stephanie had a baby (Cena: “And HHH might have an inside track on knowing who the father is. He knows somebody or something.”). Then you have Edge, who is really rated PG-13 and Lita is rated NC-17 (Cena: “No Cold Sores In 17 Days!”).

Then there is Johnny Nitro, who is named after a natural gas and I’ll let you figure out the jokes yourself. Then you have the Legend Killer trying to put the moves on the legend’s daughter (Cena: “And I can’t blame him.”) but remember: Hogan Knows Best. Cena runs down the rest of the midcard and says that the big point is so clear even Maria can understand it: his partner is Ric Flair and they get to beat up Edge. Cena tells Maria to call him to wrap up a rather all over the place promo. Again though: the show was rewritten in a hurry so maybe he was told to just go fill time.

It’s time for the Diva Search elimination with Maryse being eliminated. I’m sure we’ll never see her again. This Friday: it’s musical chairs, with Miz nearly cracking up at the idea.

John Cena/Ric Flair vs. Edge/Johnny Nitro

Flair and Nitro lock up to start with Nitro getting smart by going to the eye. Everything breaks down in a hurry with the villains being cleared out as we take a break. Back with Cena getting beaten down with Edge getting in a little dance. Cena fights out and gets over to Flair for the tag as the pace picks up. The Figure Four goes on Nitro but Edge makes the save and hits the spear.

Nitro grabs a neckbreaker to send Flair outside but he’s back in with the chops. A clothesline takes Flair down though and he is knocked outside again to keep up the beating. Back in and Edge gets chopped out of the air, allowing the hot tag to Cena so house can be cleaned. Lita offers a distraction though so a chair to the back can give Nitro two. Cena is fine enough to grab the STFU to make Nitro tap.

Rating: C. Just a run of the mill main event tag here and that’s fine. I know the Intercontinental Champion had to tap out but it’s not like Nitro is anywhere near Cena’s level at this point. They’re still teasing Cena FINALLY getting his hands on Edge and I think you know where this whole thing is going. Not a great match or anything, but for a one off main event, it worked well.

Cena and Edge yell at each other a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. They didn’t have much to offer here but it worked out well enough all things considered. Again though, how much can you really complain about when the show is thrown out of wack due to Stephanie having a baby? There is still time to set up Summerslam and it’s not like you can’t see the card from here anyway. Not a very good show, but it didn’t need to be this week.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – July 17, 2006: Anyone Want To Make This Hard For Them?

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 17, 2006
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Saturday Night’s Main Event and as a result, absolutely nothing has changed. Therefore, it’s time to get ready for Summerslam and John Cena challenging Edge for the Raw World Title seems to be a likely choice. That is the kind of match that deserves the big stage and hopefully that’s exactly what it gets. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

D-Generation X joins us with a special message: a video recapping them being mean to Vince McMahon over the last few weeks. It’s not much funnier in a big video package either.

Here’s DX, featuring hometown boy Shawn Michaels, for a chat. Actually we make that a discussion of which shirt they are supposed to be wearing tonight. HHH thought they were wearing the old one, available at the merchandise stands and WWEShop.com. Michaels thinks it’s the new one, which is also available at the merchandise stands and WWEShop.com, though he has to read his locations off his wrist. HHH: “Easy there Miz.”

With the important stuff out of the way, Shawn has heard that Vince McMahon is kind of mad at them but they aren’t sure why. HHH takes a quick poll of the audience about whether or not they should stop. HHH: “Now come on Shane. Uh, Shawn. It’s live TV give me a break.” Besides, there’s no way the people here, in Shawn’s hometown of San Antonio, Texas, would want to see DX face the McMahons in a tag match tonight.

The fans disagree so HHH thinks we should make the match. Cue the McMahons, with Vince calling DX a bunch of degenerate juvenile delinquents. Vince says tonight, we’ll have Shawn vs. Shane, which seems to take the latter by surprise. Shane didn’t like Shawn’s impression, because he DOES NOT dance around like a midget on crack. Tonight, instead of the Alamo, these people will remember Shane beating Shawn 1-2-3. The DX plugs are always worth a chuckle.

Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin

The winner gets a future Intercontinental Title show (or Cruiserweight Title shot according to the introductions). Shelton headlocks him down to start and the armbar is on in a hurry. That’s reversed into an exchange of rollups for two each before Shelton kicks him in the face for two. The chinlock is on in a hurry and Shelton switches to right hands and choking like a villain should.

It’s off to a sleeper, which is broken up in a hurry so Carlito can hit a clothesline. A springboard back elbow gives Carlito two but the Backstabber is countered. Shelton grabs a cradle but can’t reach the rope. Instead, Carlito reverses into one of his own and successfully grabs the rope for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see in this one and the ending was hardly in doubt after Carlito beat Nitro in the mixed tag on Saturday. There was no need to do anything tricky here and going with Carlito as the next challenger makes as much sense as anyone else. You can always use some fresh stars so pushing someone as a new face is worth a shot.

We look back at John Cena beating Edge via DQ on Saturday, though he did put Edge through the announcers’ table to continue the feud.

Trish Stratus hits on Carlito, who declares that cool.

This Week In Wrestling History: The Brawl To End It All. Yeah that was pretty big.

Trish Stratus/Torrie Wilson vs. Mickie James/Victoria

Candice Michelle is guest referee for obvious reasons. Mickie drops Torrie in a hurry and Trish has to be held back to break up some interference. Victoria’s dancing moonsault takes too long to set up though and it’s off to Trish to take over. Victoria whips Mickie into the corner but misses Trish, only to have Mickie break up the Stratusphere. Candice doesn’t like the interference and throws Mickie outside, leaving Trish to hit Stratusfaction for the pin on Victoria. Short match with an obvious point.

Armando Alejandro Estrada isn’t worried about Umaga facing John Cena tonight. Umaga has no comment on the subject, though he does shout after Estrada hits his catchphrases.

Mick Foley joins us from WWE Studios and yes, this is the shirt he wore when he was interviewed by Katie Couric. For now though, Foley wants to talk about Ric Flair, who remembers beating Foley two straight falls at Vengeance. Foley remembers it as Flair being left bloody and broke, which was Foley’s plan all along. That’s why Flair is getting no rematch, as Foley has nothing left to prove.

Charlie Haas and Viscera are not explaining their actions against Lilian Garcia last week.

We recap the Diva Search Boot Camp from Smackdown.

Highlanders vs. Jared Steel/Russell Simpson

Steel and Simpson jump the Highlanders from behind and the fight is on in a hurry. That’s about it for the offense as Robbie headbutts Simpson down and it’s time for Fun With Kilts. The Scot Drop finishes Simpson in a hurry.

Post match the Highlanders challenge the Spirit Squad for the Tag Team Titles. Unlike the Squad, they have something beneath their kilts.

Post break, DX meets the Highlanders and tells them to go meet Vince in his office. Make yourselves at home, shout in his ear, and hug him a lot. More on this later I assume.

John Cena vs. Umaga

Armando Alejandro Estrada is here with Umaga but Cena jumps him in the corner before the bell. Umaga shrugs it off and sends Cena flying through the chalkboard as the bell rings. A piece of the board goes over Cena’s back and the beating is on in a hurry. Cena tries to fight back but a shot to the throat cuts him right back down. A knee to the chest keeps Cena in trouble and his quick STFU attempt doesn’t work.

Umaga runs him over with a clothesline and here are Edge and Lita to watch Cena being tied in the Tree of Woe. The running headbutt connects but the running hip attack only hits corner. Cena goes after Edge, earning him a whip into the steps from Umaga. The top rope splash misses though and Cena slugs away, even managing the ProtoBomb. There’s the Shuffle but Edge comes in, allowing Umaga to hit a superkick into the Samoan Spike for the pin.

Rating: C. They kept this moving and while Umaga won with some interference, he still beat Cena and that is quite the accomplishment for someone who has only been around for a few months. Cena vs. Edge will be the big showdown at Summerslam, but Umaga got a lot out of this win. They’re trying something new here and hopefully it works out well for everyone.

Vince comes into his office and throws the Highlanders out for eating his food. One of them gives him a spank on his way out, which makes Vince jump.

Randy Orton vs. Eugene

Eugene’s jacket still has the green paint from last week. Orton takes him down in a hurry as the HOGAN chants start up. Eugene gets in a shot of his own and mocks Orton’s pose, earning himself a heck of a clothesline. The backbreaker into the RKO finishes Eugene in a hurry.

Post match Orton tells Eugene to never take advantage of the McMahons again. He would never take advantage of Brooke Hogan like that, because she’s a very pretty girl. Orton likes that song About Us, but he would like to show us his favorite hit. We see Orton giving Hulk Hogan the RKO onto the back of a car on Saturday, which somehow confused Brooke. I mean I know the Hogans are gullible but come on now.

Back in the WWE Studios, Mick Foley gives Melina a shout out and talks about how impressive Ric Flair was in his hardcore match. Flair got extreme, so maybe next week he can wear a flannel shirt or drive a minivan! Foley sings a little Michael Jackson to say that Flair is out of his life but here’s Flair in the arena to interrupt. Flair is bandaged up and shows us a clip of his match with Big Show on ECW. Flair: “That would be an a** whooping and a half!”

Here’s Miz for the first elimination in the Diva Search. Amy is eliminated and we’re having a Diva Dance Off this week on Smackdown.

Vince is annoyed at DX, and Shane finding an “I HEART COCKS” sign on his back makes it worse. Shane’s sign says “ME TOO”.

Shawn Michaels vs. Shane McMahon

HHH and Vince are at ringside. Joined in progress with Michaels sending Shane outside for an Asai moonsault and some right hands. Vince offers a distraction though and Shane scores with a Shawn forearm into the nip up (JR on Vince: “His boy Shane just won the pony.”). The top rope elbow connects and, after running around the ring, Shane tunes up the band.

The superkick is blocked though and Shawn punches him down. There’s the real forearm into the nip up (Shane’s was fake….somehow) and the elbow keeps Shane in trouble. Vince breaks up Sweet Chin Music so HHH chases him off. Cue the Spirit Squad to jump Shawn for the DQ.

Rating: C-. As is the case with most McMahon matches, keeping it short is a good idea. Shane mimicking Shawn was a good idea and the match could have been a lot worse under different circumstances. It’s good that Shane didn’t take the fall, but can DX ever break a real sweat in this feud?

Post match the Squad sends HHH into the steps and beats up Shawn. Shane loads up some chairs but HHH is back with the sledgehammer to clear the ring, because DX can’t look bad even when it’s six on one.

Overall Rating: D+. This show went by rather quickly but that doesn’t mean it went well. Cena vs. Umaga was interesting but the money match is against Edge. Then you have the DX vs. McMahons stuff and….yeah it’s starting to wear thin. There is a lot of juice left in the feud if they do it right, but that’s not what is going on. DX is running through the McMahons and/or their goons every week and that is taking away a lot of the interest in the feud. The rest of the show was your usual stuff, but they need to tweak that main event story in a hurry.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – June 26, 2006: That Dark Future

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 26, 2006
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Vengeance and a grand total of pretty much nothing happened on the show. Other than Johnny Nitro winning the Intercontinental Title, it was one of the least important shows that WWE has put on in a very long time. We do have something important tonight though, as John Cena gets his rematch against Rob Van Dam for the WWE Title. Let’s get to it.

Here is Vengeance if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

JR and King run down the card.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

Trish is challenging in her first match since Backlash when she badly injured her shoulder. Mickie goes right for the shoulder to start but Trish is out in a hurry. The threat of a hammerlock is countered into some right hands to the head and a spinebuster gives Trish two. A hurricanrana gives Trish two but Mickie kicks her in the face. The MickieDT retains the title in a hurry. Mickie spent almost as much time adjusting her top as she did fighting.

Post match here are Johnny Nitro and Melina, with Lawler being VERY glad to see Melina. Mickie leaves and Melina gives some insincere praise for the comeback match. Nitro is the only man holding singles gold on Raw and Trish is looking at the new top Diva in WWE. Trish goes after her but Nitro grabs Trish, drawing out Carlito for the save.

Post break, Carlito is ranting about Nitro when Trish comes up to thank him. Carlito rants in Spanish, which Trish agrees with in the form of “right, right.” Anyway she thanks him again and, in regards to the question on his short (spit or swallow), she whispers something in his ear, which he enthusiastically declares cool. Lawler is rather pleased by that result.

We look at DX tormenting Vince McMahon last week.

The Spirit Squad is ranting to Vince and Shane McMahon, but the latter tells them to watch tonight as the McMahons take care of DX.

We get some fan picks for Cena vs. Van Dam tonight.

Umaga vs. Kamala

This was set up after Umaga beat Eugene and had a staredown with Umaga. Armando Alejandro Estrada and Kim Chee are here too. Kamala chops away to start but gets knocked down, setting up the running hip attack in the corner to crush Kim Cheer for a bonus. The middle rope headbutt sets up the Samoan Spike to end the complete squash.

We go to the Diva Search casting special, featuring the Miz as emcee and Ashley Massaro as the big speaker. The Divas dance a lot and we see Brooke Adams, Layla El, Rosa Mendes and Maryse, none of whom are named. The finalists are out here tonight.

Here’s Torrie Wilson to unveil the summer Divas magazine. Believe it or not, the cover to the swimsuit magazine with Torrie Wilson is Torrie Wilson in a swimsuit. Cue Edge and Lita to interrupt and throw Torrie out in a hurry. Edge says he should be the star of the show and on the cover of magazines (the swimsuit may be implied). He should be the star around here and the fact that Rob Van Dam is defending against John Cena tonight is a joke.

If Edge doesn’t get a rematch, they’re leaving Raw. The fans think they suck so Edge and Lita leave through the crowd. Hold on though as they do stop by the merchandise stand where Edge takes his shirt (which should be in the center). They’re out the door, shirts in hand.

Here’s a banged up John Cena to talk about how One Night Stand wasn’t his finest hour. He could just storm through off with shirts under his arm or he could fight and earn a rematch. Tonight, he takes care of business.

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Viscera/Val Venis

It’s the return of Cade/Murdoch, who were a decent team while they originally lasted. Cade hammers Venis down to start but Venis gets in a right hand to the face. It’s off to Murdoch via a hot tag and an atomic drop into a big boot has Venis down again. Cue Charlie Haas to talk to Lilian Garcia and that’s not cool with Viscera. The hot tag brings in Viscera and house is cleaned in a hurry but Charlie kisses Lilian, allowing Cade and Murdoch to finish with a High/Low (which we only see on the replay).

Rating: D. The match was just there for the sake of the angle, as you might be trying to find out why Viscera, Lilian Garcia and Charlie Haas are getting a story. Points enough for trying something out of an accident if nothing else, though I’m not sure how many miles they can get out of something like this.

We see Brooke Hogan’s music video for About Us.

Randy Orton liked what he saw in said video.

Shane McMahon is so excites for the match against DX that he hits some furniture with a baseball bat.

Here’s HHH, as Vince McMahon, for a chat. HHH says he’s going to come out here and ramble incoherently before DX takes him the McMahons tonight. It will be more embarrassing than having his pants taken down, than losing to Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania, or even than the XFL (that gets a gasp). Last week, DX sent him a rooster, suggesting that he loves cocks. In reality, he loves great men like Dick Ebersol, Dick Chaney and Dick Clark. He loves them of any size, shape and color. HHH: “I’ll even do an Asian!”

Cue Shane McMahon, as played by Shawn Michaels, meaning it’s a lot of dancing as HHH does the Vince ear pull. Shawn says he is the product of Vince’s semen. He even has it on his business card. He brings up Vince’s eventual death, which sets off another round of dancing. HHH: “Son, are you mildly retarded?” HHH says Shane must be mistaken because Stephanie is getting all of Vince’s money. HHH: “Stephanie and that guy who knocked her up.”

After hearing about what a stud that guy must be, Shawn talks about how he just needs one more shot and he’s so excited that he has to dance. HHH yells in his face to stop, sending Shawn straight down. Actually dancing doesn’t sound like a bad idea, so hit that STAND BACK. This goes on for a long time but the Hulk Hogan bass solo is enough to bring out the real Vince and Shane.

Cue the Spirit Squad to join the McMahons for the beatdown, but never mind because DX drops a bunch of human waste on them (apparently it smells bad). HHH: “Don’t worry: because of Shawn, it’s holy s***.” JR: “It’s indescribable what DX has done to the McMahons!” You mean when they imitated them and then dropped fake human waste on them? The parody was funny for a bit but went on too long. Then the other stuff…..just wasn’t, as always.

We look at Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair from Vengeance, with Flair being left beaten and bloody.

Flair, from is home in Charlotte, says that everything Foley did last night was proof that everything Flair wrote about him was true. Vengeance is sworn and Flair was all fired up here.

Paul Heyman talks to Rob Van Dam because he’s worried about the title match against Cena. Tonight it’s under WWE rules in a WWE ring with a WWE referee. Rob says it’s cool and he’s got this.

More fans give their Cena vs. Van Dam picks.

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Kane powers him into the corner to start but Orton gets in a shot to the face and two off a dropkick. A big boot and running clothesline in the corner rock Orton, setting up the top rope clothesline. Kane loads up the chokeslam but here’s Costume Kane, who Kane jumps in the aisle and knocks down. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match that was more about the angle than anything else. Orton continues to be on a roll but there is only so much you can do with Kane vs. a fake Kane. The pay per view match wasn’t good in the first place so keeping the thing going doesn’t exactly sound great. Though at least it isn’t more See No Evil.

Post match Kane is back up and chokeslams Costume Kane twice in the ring and one more time on the stage. Kane drags him to the back and then to the back. Post break, Kane unmasks him (showing the bald head of Luke Gallows, though we don’t see the face) and throws him outside. If I remember right, the original plan was to say that Costume Kane was the real version and the one we had seen was a fake, but thankfully they realized that would have been even dumber than what we got so take the small wins where you can.

We see the Tough Enough finalists being selected (including a quick look at the Bella Twins). Brooke Adams is cut but Maryse makes it (there’s something awesome about Miz meeting his future wife being shown like this).

We look at Rob Van Dam winning the WWE Title from John Cena at One Night Stand under less than fair circumstances.

The Highlanders use a public restroom. Hilarity ensues and they debut next week.

Raw World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging and slugs away to start. Rob gets in a kick and heads up top, only to be shoved down hard in a crash as we take a break. Back with Rob fighting out of a chinlock and starting the slugout. That goes to Cena as well but this time Rob kicks him off the top instead. There’s the flip to the floor to drop Cena again and Rob hits a legdrop for two back inside. It’s time for a chair but Cena scores with the hard clothesline into the running shoulders.

The ProtoBomb into the Five Knuckle Shuffle looks to set up the FU but Rob slips out and hits a kick to the head. They slug it out again with Rob hitting another kick to the face, setting up a German suplex for two on Cena. The split legged moonsault gets the same and there’s the top rope kick to the face. Cena rolls away before the Five Star can launch and then gets his knees up to block Rolling Thunder. The FU sets up the STFU but Edge runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. They did what they could here and Cena was showing the fire that made him feel like a bigger star. The ending was a good way out if they weren’t going to change the title, but it didn’t exactly help Van Dam look like a star. Then again, just being champion doesn’t make Van Dam a bigger star than Cena and being beaten until Edge comes in is hardly some death sentence.

Post match Edge says he’ll see Van Dam tomorrow and leaves through the crowd.

Overall Rating: C. This was good enough but there are some things that aren’t exactly making me look forward to the future. Above all else, there is the Diva Search, which is going to be around for the next two months and bring the show to a grinding halt. I guess they need new models though. Other than that, Cena was showing fire and they are starting to plant seeds for Summerslam, but some of these things are not exactly making me interested in seeing where things are going. Not terrible, but the future isn’t looking bright.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2018 (2019 Redo): Why Did They Do That?

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2018
Date: November 18, 2018
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,325
Commentators: Michael Cole, Renee Young, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

It’s the second redo of the year and I’m not sure what that is going to mean. I remember this one a little bit better than some of the more recent shows for some reason and I’m not sure if that is a good thing or not. It’s hard to say how well these things hold up but that’s kind of what I’m going for here. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Smackdown Tag Teams vs. Raw Tag Teams

Smackdown: Usos, New Day, Sanity, Anderson And Gallows, Colons

Raw: Bobby Roode/Chad Gable, Revival, B-Team, Lucha House Party, Ascension

A suplex gives Epico two as the apron looks ridiculous with so many people up there. Hold on though as Kalisto injures his knee so it’s off to Dorado for a quick splash. Kalisto comes back in almost immediately and gets suplexed down, allowing Primo to come in and hit a basement dropkick. Primo is sent into Epico and knocks him off the apron by mistake. Dawson makes a blind tag through and it’s a quick Shatter Machine to get rid of the Colons at 3:10.

It’s off to Dain vs. Gable after we nearly got Gable vs. Big E. in the match I didn’t know I needed to see. Dain hits a quick Divide for two so it’s Young coming in for two of his own off a neckbreaker. Roode makes the save and it’s a neckbreaker/moonsault combination to finish Young at 6:32. Konnor comes in to kick Big E. in the face but gets pulled into the spanking abdominal stretch. It’s off to Woods, who gets tossed with a fall away slam in short order. Viktor grabs a chinlock but Woods fights up for a discus forearm. Just to show off, Woods lifts Big E. onto his shoulders for a splash to finish Viktor at 8:48.

The Luchas try to go after Gallows and it goes as well as you would expect. Dorado has to slip out of the Magic Killer and it’s a Stunner to Gallows. Anderson gets hurricanranaed into the ropes and it’s the Luchas hitting stereo Asai moonsaults onto Anderson and Gallows. Back in and a rope walk Swanton gets rid of Anderson at 10:40 as the apron is finally clearing out a bit.

We’re down to the Usos/New Day vs. Roode/Gable/Revival/Lucha House Party so Jimmy comes in for the first time. Dorado chops him into a rollup for two and a Lionsault gets the same. Jey comes in off a blind tag and comes pretty close to catching Dorado in a Samoa drop for the pin at 11:57.

It’s Dawson coming in to grab Woods and a Wilder distraction lets him get in a cheap shot to really take over. Dawson misses a charge though and Woods hits a dropkick, allowing the double tag to Big E. and Wilder. Big E. clotheslines Dawson outside but gets rolled up for two, allowing Gable to come in for a suplex. Rolling Chaos Theory into a neckbreaker gets two on Big E. and everything breaks down with Wilder hitting a tornado DDT on Woods on the floor.

That means the dive from Big E., leaving Roode and Gable alone in the ring. Roode backdrops him onto everyone else but Jey superkicks Roode down. Jey does the GLORIOUS pose and dives onto the pile rather than, you know, covering the knocked silly Roode. Just to get nuts, Gable German superplexes Jimmy onto everyone else for the big crash. Back in and Woods hits Roode with the Honor Roll, leaving Big E. to catch Gable’s moonsault. That means UpUpDownDown to finish Gable at 18:33 but Dawson sends Big E. outside.

Woods goes up for the rope walk….undetermined move that is countered into the Shatter Machine to tie us up at 19:31. It’s the Usos vs. Revival and a slugout goes to the non-brothers. A reverse powerbomb/top rope clothesline (felt like a Steiner Bulldog with some miscommunication) gets two on Jey so Jimmy enziguris Dawson. Wilder is back up though and we go old school with a PowerPlex for two as Jey has to make a diving save. The Shatter Machine is broken up and it’s a bunch of superkicks to set up the Superfly Splash (with a Roman Reigns fist pump on the way down) for the pin at 23:15.

Rating: C. It was fun once they got down to the last bit but sweet goodness there was too much going on here. There is only so much you can do with enough people for a nice battle royal at first, plus seconds on the floor. It’s an idea that makes sense but when so many of these teams are looked at as jokes, they would have been better off cutting this in half and doing individual eliminations. Still though, perfectly watchable, especially once they got rid of the dead weight.

The opening video focuses entirely on the battle for Brand Supremacy because that’s all this show is about anymore. Even the huge champion vs. champion matches are just part of Raw vs. Smackdown.

Raw Women vs. Smackdown Women

Raw: Mickie James, Nia Jax, Tamina, Bayley, Sasha Banks

Smackdown: Carmella, Naomi, Sonya Deville, Mandy Rose, Asuka

The injured Alexa Bliss and Naomi are the captains, which is Naomi comes out second for her team. This is fallout from the moment of the year with Becky Lynch and Smackdown invading Raw, setting up Nia Jax punching Becky in the face and putting her on the shelf, setting up the main event of Wrestlemania and changing their careers forever. It’s funny how that works somehow no?

Naomi and Tamina start things off as the fans want Becky. A dropkick sends Tamina into the ropes and everything breaks down in a hurry. Naomi’s Disaster Kick puts Nia on the floor but Tamina hits a superkick to get rid of Naomi at 1:21. Carmella is right back in to roll Tamina up and get us down to 4-4 at 1:32. The fall leaves Carmella alone in the ring so DANCE BREAK.

Nia comes in behind her and Carmella’s rollup has no effect, as expected. Therefore it’s off to Mandy, who gets taken down with a single knee. That means it’s Mickie coming in for two off a neckbreaker but Mandy is right back up with an abdominal stretch. That’s broken up in a hurry though and it’s off to a quickly escaped Muta Lock. Asuka comes in to face Mickie, which Cole says is a match everyone would want to see. Then watch it from Takeover: Toronto on the Network!

Asuka starts with the hip attack into the dance, setting up the Octopus Hold. Sonya comes in to charge into Mickie’s boot and a snapmare takes her down. Bayley tags herself in and Mickie is rather annoyed, even as Banks comes in for the double knees in the corner. Now it’s Mickie tagging herself back in for the super Thesz press but Sonya knees her in the face. That should finish but Mandy tags herself in and steals the elimination at 7:38.

Sonya doesn’t know what to think, even as Bayley runs in for two off a rollup. The Moon Walk DDT lets Carmella mock Banks but she walks into the Bayley to Belly for the elimination at 9:12. Mandy comes in and stomps away at Bayley as the announcers get into their usual bickering session that has nothing to do with the match. Bayley kicks her away and brings in Banks to take over in a hurry, including the Bank Statement for the tap at 10:49.

Asuka comes in and takes over on Banks, allowing Sonya to grab a bodyscissors and shout a lot. That doesn’t last long either as it’s Banks getting up and bringing in Bayley for the waving running knee in the corner. A spinebuster gives Sonya two with Jax making the save and earning some of the loudest booing of her career.

Jax goes shoulder first into the post and Asuka kicks her to the floor, only to get caught by the Meteora from Banks. Bayley and Sonya tackle each other to the floor and it’s a Bayley to Belly….but neither can beat the count at 15:18. That leaves us with Nia/Sasha vs. Asuka with Banks coming in for the team. Asuka knocks her down and shows off the Smackdown top before hitting a knee to the face. A heck of a German suplex puts Banks down and a hip attack knocks Jax off the apron.

Banks trips her up to send Asuka into the apron but she’s right back with a missile dropkick for two. The Asuka Lock is broken up and the running knees in the corner crush Asuka again. Banks goes up but Nia shoves her off the top for some reason, meaning it’s the Asuka Lock for the tap at 19:36. Nia comes in and drops a bunch of legs before finishing with the Samoan drop at 20:15.

Rating: C. You have to remember that Nia was public enemy #1 at this point and pushing her as the monster like this made sense. Normally I would complain about pushing someone who has a history of injuring people and who is hardly interesting in the first place, but WWE has shown their love for Jax for a long time and no amount of complaining is going to change a thing.

Raw – 1

Smackdown – 0

Stephanie McMahon, in that instantly irritating way of speaking, tells Acting General Manager Baron Corbin that he better win the rest of the matches if he wants to have the job permanently. Shane McMahon and General Manager Paige come in and suggest Raw will be feeling blue. More trash talk ensues with Shane looking forward to Corbin being fired. This kind of banter is just horrible and feels so forced, which is why it almost never goes away in WWE.

Seth Rollins vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Raw (Intercontinental) vs. Smackdown (United States) champion vs. champion here. Yes Nakamura is wrestling in the blue shirt over his jumpsuit, because A BIG BLUE JUMPSUIT doesn’t tell you which brand he is on. Rollins goes after the arm to start but Nakamura slips out and invites Rollins to COME ON. The wristlocking is back on as they seem to have a lot of time here.

A way too early missed Kinshasa attempt lets Rollins do his own COME ON. The threat of a ripcord knee sends Nakamura to the apron and Rollins onto the top for some lounging. Nakamura sends him to the apron though and it’s the slingshot Fameasser over the ropes to put Nakamura on the floor. That means the suicide dive, but since that is the most obvious move ever, it gets cut off with a kick to the face instead.

Back in and Nakamura works on a double chickenwing, plus a front facelock to mix it up a bit. Rollins fights up and sends him into the corner, setting up the Sling Blade for a breather. Nakamura gets thrown outside for the back to back suicide dives but two is a nasty number in wrestling so there’s a third. The springboard clothesline gets two back inside and things slow down a bit. Rollins’ suplex is escaped and Nakamura kicks him in the face, followed by the running knee to the ribs in the corner.

A Backstabber….doesn’t do much for Nakamura as Rollins is right back up with a superkick for two. Rollins slugs away but his clothesline is countered into a triangle. Since it’s Rollins, the traditional powerbomb counter is swapped for a Buckle Bomb instead, which at least gives us some variety. The ripcord knee is broken up again and Nakamura’s Landslide gets two. In a bit of a rare move, Nakamura goes up top, earning himself the superplex into the Falcon Arrow for a nice near fall.

They slug it out with Nakamura daring him to swing harder so it’s a reverse exploder to drop Rollins. Kinshasa misses though and it’s the ripcord knee for a close two. The frog splash misses though and Nakamura’s running knee to the back of the head gives him his own two. Nakamura still can’t hit Kinshasa so Rollins superkicks him, only to miss the Stomp. Kinshasa misses again though and it’s the Stomp to give Rollins the pin at 21:27.

Rating: B. It was very good though I was left wanting and expecting more. These two can be great against each other, though it is another case of Nakamura never rising up to that next level. He is still very entertaining and someone worth watching almost every time, but his big matches always feel a bit disappointing. Still though, rather hard hitting back and forth match, which is exactly why these two were out there. It’s rather good, just not great.

Raw – 2

Smackdown – 0

Braun Strowman doesn’t like his partners on the Raw men’s team and he doesn’t even know who Bobby Lashley is. If they don’t help him win tonight, they’re getting these hands. Drew McIntyre says he’s in charge and violence is about to ensue so here’s Corbin to remind Strowman that he can’t touch him. Instead, Strowman throws Lio Rush at Corbin to let off some steam. Cue R-Truth for the pep talk, until he is reminded that he’s not on the team. Confused R-Truth may be one of my all time favorite gags.

The Bar vs. AOP

Smackdown vs. Raw in a battle of the Tag Team Champions with Big Show and Drake Maverick as the thirds. Rezar throws Sheamus into the corner to start as Byron accuses Drake of drinking….cuckoo juice? The Bar gets in some double teaming on Akam and, after the catchphrase, the Swing has to be broken up. Akam takes the Swing instead, only to have Rezar come back in for the backbreaker/middle rope stomp combination to take over.

The chinlock goes on before Akam just powers Cesaro down and hammers away. Rezar knees Cesaro in the face for two so Sheamus tries to come in, allowing Cesaro to grab a rollup for….well nothing actually as the referee is with Sheamus. Not the best plan there man. Cesaro’s uppercuts don’t do much good as Rezar takes him right back down and grabs a chinlock.

That’s broken up as well and it’s the springboard uppercut to allow the tag to Sheamus. House is cleaned in a hurry, including the Brogue Kick to Rezar with Maverick putting the foot on the rope. The chase is on until Cesaro knocks Maverick down, allowing Show to grab him. Maverick is so scared that he, ahem, relieves himself in fear. Back in and the powerbomb/neckbreaker combination finishes Sheamus at 9:04.

Rating: D+. This was a pretty boring power match with both teams only going in spurts until the big joke of an ending. There is only so far you can go with that as the big joke and you can imagine where things are going to go as a result. I mean, the fact that this show is now a year old makes it easier to figure out, but that doesn’t make it better.

Raw – 3

Smackdown – 0

The Miz has Shane McMahon fire up Team Smackdown. R-Truth is here as well to talk about getting on the Smackdown roster. He already is, which is a relief as Raw is a mess.

We recap Mustafa Ali vs. Buddy Murphy for the Cruiserweight Title. Ali won a match to become #1 contender and now we have the title match. The idea here is the champ vs. the never will be champ as Ali tries to grab the brass ring again. Sometimes it really can be that simple.

Cruiserweight Title: Buddy Murphy vs. Mustafa Ali

Ali is challenging. They start fast with Murphy’s power not exactly working as he drives Ali into the corner, only to have him flip over the champ. That means a dropkick to the floor into the big flip dive but Ali’s back is banged up. The second dive is blocked with a shove off the top into the barricade, followed by some rams into the apron. A heck of a backdrop sets up the chinlock with a knee in the back until Ali jawbreaks his way out of trouble.

The rolling X Factor is countered with a show to the floor though and Murphy hits his own running flip dive. Back in and Ali scores with a superkick into a tornado hanging DDT (awesome) for his own two. The 054 (I miss that) is broken up with a shove to the floor and this time it’s Ali’s face hitting the apron on the way down.

Murphy loads up the announcers’ table but Ali hits a Spanish Fly down to the floor again because he’s crazy and can do stuff like that. Back in and Murphy is fine enough to hit a superkick into a pair of powerbombs for two before kneeing him out of the air. Murphy’s Law retains the title at 12:20.

Rating: B-. It was entertaining, it was hard hitting, and almost no one cared because there is little reason to be interested in 205 Live. The wrestling can be very entertaining and some of the matches are great, but the show is as important as a bicycle to a fish. That has been a problem since the show debuted and it isn’t going to get better in the future.

When asked about his recent heel turn, Daniel Bryan….just smiles.

Raw Men vs. Smackdown Men

Raw: Finn Balor, Drew McIntyre, Bobby Lashley, Braun Strowman, Dolph Ziggler

Smackdown: Shane McMahon, The Miz, Rey Mysterio, Samoa Joe, Jeff Hardy

Corbin (at ringside but not on the team) and M are the captains. Strowman and McIntyre nearly get in a fight before the bell but Strowman gets to start….until McIntyre tags himself in after about three seconds. The Koquina Clutch has Drew in early trouble but he backflips out and Claymores Joe for the pin at 37 seconds. I’m going to assume Joe was hurt (again), or we need Shane to get more ring time.

After a quick meeting, Hardy comes in second with the fans going to the DELETE chants in a hurry. Jeff tries running around a bit, earning himself a hard clothesline so Ziggler can come in. Shane tags himself in for a rematch of Crown Jewel, because that nightmare needs to be touched on again. A dropkick rocks Shane, who is right back with some armdrags. The Fameasser gets two but Shane scores with a spinning elbow. The jumping elbow is countered into the Zig Zag but Miz makes his own save.

Strowman comes in but McIntyre tags himself in again, meaning it’s on in a hurry. For some reason Smackdown breaks it up so they can gang up on Strowman, who isn’t having it. Rey manages a 619 though and they head outside with Strowman getting knocked onto the announcers’ table. The big Shane elbow knocks them both out, because WE NEED TO GET THAT IN. Back in and Miz kicks Drew down for one as we see Paige and Stephanie watching backstage. As long as they don’t talk, I’m good.

McIntyre gets away to go over for the tag….but he won’t do it, even as Balor yells at him to make the tag. Instead McIntyre smacks Miz in the face, allowing Balor to tag himself in. Balor kicks McIntyre down before kicking Miz in the head, followed by the baseball slide. Back in and the Sling Blade rocks Rey and a dropkick puts him in the corner. The Coup de Grace misses though and it’s a 619 into the springboard splash to tie it up at 12:04.

McIntyre is right there to deck the eliminated Balor so Lashley tags himself in to throw Rey into the corner. The delayed vertical suplex is delayed too long though as Rey rolls out and hits an enziguri. It’s Ziggler’s turn to tag himself in so Rey faceplants him and brings in Hardy. Everything breaks down and Hardy tornado DDTs McIntyre on the floor, allowing Ziggler to grab the running DDT for two on Jeff. The rapid pace comeback is on for Jeff, but the Swanton hits raised knees.

For some reason this hurts the knees this time so Mysterio is able to bring Miz in. The beating is on in the corner and it’s Shane coming back in for Coast to Coast to eliminate Ziggler and cement Shane as Best in the World (remember he beat Ziggler in the finals) to make it 4-3 at 18:10.

Lashley is back in to suplex Shane right over to Miz, who gets beaten up this time around. Miz gets in a few shots of his own to set up the running clothesline. It’s back to Shane for ANOTHER Coast to Coast, though thankfully Strowman chops him out of the air. Strowman comes in and wastes no time with the powerslam to eliminate Hardy at 20:45. That leaves Strowman/McIntyre/Lashley vs. Mysterio/Miz/McMahon, and the powerslam takes Mysterio out at 21:26.

Miz starts to panic (Graves: “Does this mean there won’t be a Marine 7”) and it’s another powerslam for the pin at 22:27. Shane is alone against the monsters and you can feel the fans panicking from here. Shane pulls himself up to face Strowman and says bring it on, so Strowman dropkicks him into the corner (Graves: “A T-REX DROPKICK!”) and hits the third powerslam for the pin at 24:01.

Rating: D+. This doesn’t hold up as it’s another Shane showcase, with one big spot after another and Shane getting to go out there and look like the toughest man in the company. Raw winning was more confusing than anything else as it already guarantees them the night, but they did have me believing that they might have had Shane pull the miracle. Consider that great selling or really sad.

Raw – 4

Smackdown – 0

Post match Corbin jumps Strowman and poses with McIntyre and Lashley.

Here’s how to help victims of the California wildfires. Nothing wrong with that.

Seth Rollins has been focused on Dean Ambrose as of late but for tonight, he’s due for an ice bath and some cold ones. Charly tells him that he has to defend the Intercontinental Title against Ambrose at TLC. Rollins likes the idea because Ambrose will have nothing left to hide behind.

We recap Charlotte vs. Ronda Rousey. This was supposed to be Becky Lynch vs. Rousey but then destiny happened in the form of the mega brawl on Raw and Becky’s face being broken. Becky picked Charlotte to take her place, which was out of left field but they didn’t have another option.

Ronda Rousey vs. Charlotte

Raw vs. Smackdown Women’s Champion so we get the Big Match Intros. Rousey (with the ridiculous eye makeup) starts swinging early so Charlotte grabs her by the ropes and throws her down. The armbar is blocked and Charlotte has to flip out of Piper’s Pit to get us to a standoff. Charlotte grabs a headlock and sends her face first into the bottom buckle to really take over for the first time. It’s time to start on the leg as Rousey is bleeding from the mouth.

She’s fine enough for an enziguri to get a breather and what looked like a triangle over the top has Charlotte in trouble for a change. Charlotte crotches her on top but Rousey is right back with a triangle. That’s reversed into a Boston crab but Natural Selection is blocked. The armbar is blocked again so Charlotte goes up, only to have the moonsault hit raised boots. Rousey spends too much time yelling though and gets speared in half for two.

The Figure Four goes on until Rousey turns it over, with Rousey managing to talk trash while screaming at the same time. They roll to the floor and Rousey is all fired up, meaning it’s time to start striking away. Some chops knock Rousey into the corner and Rousey looks shaken for the first time.

Another chop is blocked so Charlotte gets two off a big boot. Rousey is right back with a hurricanrana and Piper’s Pit but Charlotte gets away from the armbar again. It’s time for a breather on the floor and Charlotte is smart enough to break the count for an extra break. Rousey isn’t waiting so she goes out after her, only to walk into a kendo stick shot from Charlotte for the DQ at 14:10.

Rating: A-. This felt like the main event level match that they were hoping for, which is all the more impressive given Rousey’s complete lack of experience. She knows how to feel like a big deal and Charlotte having to use her natural abilities to counter all of the submissions was a great story. Charlotte snapping and admitting that she can’t beat Rousey worked perfectly too and I had a great time with this all around.

Raw – 5

Smackdown – 0

Post match the beating is on with the referee having to take the chair away from Charlotte. She isn’t done though and it’s Natural Selection onto the chair to knock Ronda silly. Charlotte beats up the referees trying to make the save and wraps the chair around Rousey’s neck. Pillmanizing ensues and Charlotte’s eyes are bugging out. Fans: “THANK YOU CHARLOTTE!” Rousey takes a long time to get up but does it on her own, because PILLMANIZING SOMEONE’S NECK IS A FIVE MINUTE ANNOYANCE!

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Daniel Bryan, which is a rapid fire change as Bryan only turned heel and won the title five days before this show. Therefore, the entire video is about Bryan’s turn, setting up the match here. It was annoying, but since WWE didn’t want AJ losing to Brock, they had him lose to Bryan instead. That is the kind of logic only WWE can go with and no, it still doesn’t sound like an intelligent idea.

Daniel Bryan vs. Brock Lesnar

Battle of the World Champions with Brock trying to complete the Raw sweep. Bryan mocks Lesnar during his entrance and smiles a lot. A running dropkick to Lesnar’s knee starts things off as the mind games are on. Bryan heads outside for a run around the ring so Lesnar follows him, only to have Bryan run back inside and mocks Brock’s bounce. Brock comes back in and hits Bryan in the face as things change in a hurry.

The first German suplex has Bryan nearly done on the apron so Brock starts a SUPLEX CITY chant in a great heel move. The second German suplex has Heyman worried and the third has Bryan rocked again. An overhead belly to belly puts Bryan on the floor and Lesnar even gets to pose with the title. Brock throws him hard into the barricade and we hit the bearhug with Cole saying this isn’t about brand supremacy anymore. Then what the heck is it about now Cole? And what has the last hour and a half been about?

More suplexes ensue and the fans are not happy with the repetitive Lesnar offense. The second bearhug makes it even worse and Brock throws another overhead belly to belly. The F5 connects (Brock: “Goodnight everybody!”) but Brock pulls him up at two. Bryan kicks him in the face twice and, after a ref bump, gets in a low blow. The running knee connects for two (how Bryan won the title) so Bryan kicks away to put Brock down in the corner.

A bunch of stomps to the face have Brock stunned and Bryan low bridges him to the floor. The slingshot dive is pulled out of the air but Bryan slips out and posts him. Bryan tries the suicide dive though and gets posted hard to cut off the big rally. The steps are picked up but only hit the post, allowing Bryan to hit another knee. Back in and another running knee gives Bryan another two as Heyman is losing his mind.

Bryan switches gears by going after the knee with a chop block and a wrap around the post. Lesnar is sent into the corner for the running dropkicks (or a running knee and a running attack from Cole) but he pulls Bryan into the F5….as the knee gives out. The YES Lock goes on but Bryan makes the mistake of switching to a triangle, which is reversed into the F5 for the pin at 18:43.

Rating: B+. It’s nearly a copy of the same match that Brock had with AJ last year but it was still a heck of a fight with Bryan coming close to picking up the upset. That being said, it’s still the brand new WWE Champion losing clean five days after he won the title. I know WWE MUST DO THE BRAND SUPREMACY deal but was there really no better option for something like this? Like AJ vs. Brock II with a countout or something? Annoying, but at least it came after an awesome match.

Raw – 6

Smackdown – 0

Bryan smiles at Lesnar to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Well they threw the Brand Supremacy stuff out the window at about the halfway point, leaving the wrestling to carry the rest. As luck would have it, the last two matches were awesome and left me wanting more so well done all around there. Some of the matches aren’t that great with no particularly good Survivor Series matches, but what we got for the rest of the show was quite entertaining, even if the core concept was lost.

Ratings Comparison

Raw Tag Teams vs. Smackdown Tag Teams

Original: D+

2019 Redo: C

Smackdown Women vs. Raw Women

Original: C

2019 Redo: C

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Seth Rollins

Original: B

2019 Redo: B

AOP vs. The Bar

Original: C-

2019 Redo: D+

Mustafa Ali vs. Buddy Murphy

Original: B

2019 Redo: B

Raw Men vs. Smackdown Men

Original: C+

2019 Redo: D+

Charlotte vs. Ronda Rousey

Original: B

2019 Redo: A-

Brock Lesnar vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: A-

2019 Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B+

2019 Redo: B

The two main events almost swapping is interesting but, other than the men’s Survivor Series match, this is all in the same ballpark or identical.

Here is the original review if you are interested:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/18/survivor-series-2018-layeth-the-smackdown-down/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2018 (Original): The Pay Per View Squash

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2018
Date: November 18, 2018
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Renee Young, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

We’re finally here after what felt like the longest, most eventful two week build I’ve ever seen. The theme of the night is Raw vs. Smackdown and that likely means a lot of bantering between the commentators about the scoreboard and brand supremacy, which is all that matters around here. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Raw Tag Teams vs. Smackdown Tag Team

Raw: Bobby Roode/Chad Gable (captains), Revival, B-Team, Lucha House Party, Ascension

Smackdown: Usos (captains), New Day Colons, Good Brothers, Sanity

New Day handles the Smackdown introductions. Gable and Roode on the other hand promise a glorious victory. If one member of a team is eliminated, their partner is gone as well. Epico and Kalisto start things off with Kalisto tweaking his leg while flipping out of a belly to back suplex. Woods: “SWEEP THE LEG! SWEEP THE LEG!” The leg is fine enough to help Lince Dorado set up the planking splash for two and it’s off to Primo for the running crotch attack to the back of the head.

A blind tag brings in the Revival as Kalisto hurts his knee again, leaving Primo to walk into the Shatter Machine for the elimination at 3:09. It’s off to Karl Anderson vs. Curtis Axel as the fans are doing the Wave. Axel takes over with some stomps in the corner and a DDT gets two. Gallows gets in a cheap shot from the apron though and Anderson grabs a rollup to eliminate Revival at 5:00.

Next up is Killian Dain vs. Chad Gable with Chad not being able to suplex him. Instead it’s off to Eric Young, who walks into a neckbreaker from Roode. Gable adds a moonsault and that’s it for Sanity at 6:23. Big E. grabs an abdominal stretch on Konnor and throws in some spanking for good measure. Viktor has some better luck with a chinlock on Woods, with the hold lasting as long as you would expect. Woods drops him and lifts up Big E. for the splash and a pin at 8:48.

It’s Gran Metalik replacing the injured Kalisto (because he can) but he hands it off to Dorado, who has to escape the Magic Killer. A hurricanrana sends Anderson into (not through) the ropes, followed by a dive. Back in and Metalik’s rope walk Swanton gets rid of the Good Brothers at 10:55. The Usos finally get involved with Jimmy hitting Metalik in the mouth but getting moonsault pressed for two. Jey comes in and catches Lince in a nasty looking Samoan drop for the pin at 12:02.

So it’s the Revival/Gable/Roode vs. Usos/New Day. That means Dawson kicking away at Woods but getting missile dropkicked. Everyone else gets knocked to the floor and it’s Gable tagging himself in as Wilder is sent to the apron. A German suplex into a neckbreaker gets two on Big E. the Rock Bottom into a Backstabber gets two on Roode with Gable making a save.

Dawson suicide dives Woods and Kingston, followed by a series of dives to take out almost everyone. In your EGADS spot of the match, Gable German superplexes Jimmy off the top onto the pile. Back in and Gable’s moonsault is caught in the air, followed by Up Up Down Down for the pin at 18:43.

Woods’ tornado DDT falls apart so he settles for punching Wilder down, only to dive into the Shatter Machine for the pin at 19:54. It’s the Usos vs. the Revival with a Steiner Bulldog getting two on Jimmy. A PowerPlex gets the same and the Shatter Machine is broken up. Back to back superkicks drop the Revival and it’s the Superfly Splash (with the Roman Reigns tribute) for the win at 23:21.

Rating: D+. This got a lot better once it was down to the last few teams but my goodness the first two thirds or so was worthless. All it did was showcase how little these teams meant and how easy it is to get rid of them. This showed how meaningless the tag divisions are as this might as well have been Roode/Gable/Revival vs. Usos/New Day. If nothing else it would have been better and not wasted so much time in the beginning. The ending was pretty fun, but that rapid fire elimination with no flow to anything is annoying.

The opening video focuses on this being the ONLY NIGHT OF THE YEAR where Raw and Smackdown fight. They’re kidding with that being a serious line right?

Smackdown Women vs. Raw Women

Smackdown: Naomi (captain), Carmella, Mandy Rose, Sonya Deville, Asuka

Raw: Bayley, Sasha Banks, Tamina, Nia Jax, Mickie James

So yes, they’ve actually changed out MORE names on this show, with Bayley and Banks taking the places of Natalya and Ruby Riott because those two can’t get along. When I said they would probably do that in the preview, I wasn’t serious. Are all these changes some kind of rib that I’m just not getting? I mean it’s not funny, so that likely makes it a WWE rib. Also Mandy is about as weak of a pick as you can get for the mystery partner, unless you can clone Tamina.

Naomi and Tamina start things off and the brawl breaks out in almost no time. Tamina is left alone to superkick Naomi out at 1:22 but Carmella rolls Tamina up to keep things tied at 1:33. And now, DANCE BREAK! Nia comes in (Cole: “Hashtag facebreaker!”) and gets kneed by Mandy and it’s off to Mickie for some forearms. A neckbreaker drops Mandy but she’s right back with an abdominal stretch. Asuka comes in for the showdown with Mickie, who grabs a headlock.

That just annoys Asuka who hits the hip attack and grabs something like an Octopus Hold. That’s broken up as well so it’s off to Sonya, who Cole thinks is the secret to the team. Mickie snapmares her down but Bayley tags herself in for the basement clothesline. Mickie is right back in but a blind tag lets Mandy hit a running knee for the pin at 7:37. Carmella moonwalks into a DDT on Bayley but spends too much time taunting Sasha, allowing Bayley to suplex her for the pin at 9:11.

It’s back to Mandy to hammer on Bayley in the corner until a missed clothesline allows the hot tag to Banks. The Bank Statement makes Mandy tap at 10:50, ending the run that Cole hyped up that wound up going nowhere. That leaves us with Sonya/Asuka vs. Nia/Sasha/Bayley and Sonya wraps Banks up in a bodyscissors. Banks slips out without much effort and brings in Bayley for the running knee in the corner.

Nia comes in but misses a charge into the post as the fans are very pleased to see her get hurt. Bayley gets two off a belly to back suplex to Sonya as Banks hits a Meteora off the apron to take Asuka down. Bayley and Deville fall to the floor and that’s a double countout at 15:27. Has Deville ever actually won a big match?

Anyway Asuka and Banks stare each other down on the floor before getting back inside with Asuka hitting a running dropkick. That lets her SHOW OFF THE SMACKDOWN SHIRT before sending Sasha flying with a German suplex. Nia is back up and gets hip attacked straight to the floor again. Banks fights back and hammers away before going up top, only to have Nia shove her off the top into the Asuka Lock for the tap at 19:35. Nia drops three legs on Asuka and hits the Samoan drop for the final pin at 20:24.

Apparently that puts Raw up 1-0, because the Kickoff Show match doesn’t count.

Stephanie McMahon, Baron Corbin, Paige and Shane McMahon do their annual bantering.

Shinsuke Nakamura (Smackdown) vs. Seth Rollins (Raw)

Rollins works on an armbar to start but Nakamura takes him to the rope for the head on his chest. An early Kinshasa misses and Rollins does a COME ON of his own. Rollins sends him outside and has a quick rest on the top rope. Nakamura gets Rollins to the apron but misses a high kick, allowing Rollins to hit a Fameasser to drop Nakamura face first onto the apron.

Nakamura is fine enough to hit a running knee to the face and Good Vibrations keeps Rollins in trouble. A double arm crank doesn’t get Nakamura anywhere so it’s back to the corner choke. This time Rollins grabs the foot and sends Nakamura face first into the middle buckle. Rollins dumps him out to the floor for the trio of suicide dives.

The top rope clothesline drops Nakamura but some kicks drop Rollins again. The reverse exploder is blocked and Rollins hits a superkick for two. Nakamura is right back with some more kicks to the head and a clothesline is countered into the triangle choke to put Rollins in real trouble.

That’s reversed into a buckle bomb but Nakamura wins a slugout and hits the Landslide for two. Rollins is right back up with the superplex into the Falcon Arrow and the Ripcord knee gets a rather close two. The frog splash misses and Nakamura hits the Kinshasa to the back of the head for an even nearer fall. Another Kinshasa is blocked with a superkick and the Stomp finishes Nakamura at 21:29.

Rating: B. I’m glad they got the time here but the fans waiting on Ambrose to run in didn’t do it any favors. The match itself was a good back and forth fight with both guys getting to hit their big stuff, but they never hit that next level that they needed to really make it work. It’s a good match, though I could go for Nakamura not losing clean when his title reign is already such a mess.

Raw 2, Smackdown 0

AOP (Raw) vs. The Bar (Smackdown)

Drake Maverick and Big Show are here as thirds. Akam powers Sheamus around to start and the fans are distracted by something in the crowd. Cesaro comes in for a swing but it’s the side slam/middle rope stomp to put the Bar in trouble. The chinlock doesn’t stay on long so Akam lifts Cesaro up and throws him into a knee from Rezar. Sheamus gets drawn in so Cesaro can be held back in the corner in a smart move. Some uppercuts don’t get Cesaro anywhere as he gets clothesline for two.

Rating: C-. Just like the previous match, this could have been something fun but it never hit that level they could reach. AOP winning makes sense here on its own but I’m not exactly looking forward to Smackdown winning the next few matches with no drama. Not too bad, but the Maverick thing was more stupid than anything else.

Raw 3, Smackdown 0

Shane McMahon gives Team Smackdown a pep talk when R-Truth comes in to try and get on the Smackdown roster. Shane points out that he’s already in and says that’s a relief. Miz promises autographed Marine DVDs if the team wins and Truth is thrilled with the idea of getting a Becky Lynch autograph. Anyway Shane says we have to win so Stephanie can’t. There’s the important part you see.

We recap the Cruiserweight Title match. Buddy Murphy won the title at Super Show-Down in Australia and Mustafa Ali has been chasing the title for most of the year. Murphy doesn’t think much of the much smaller Ali but he’s ready to fight again.

Cruiserweight Title: Mustafa Ali vs. Buddy Murphy

Murphy is defending. Ali hits him in the face a few times but gets tossed into the corner. That just earns Murphy a hurricanrana to the floor, meaning it’s a big flip dive to take him down. Ali goes up top again but Murphy shoves him all the way into the barricade for a great looking crash.

Back in and Murphy hammers away at the head and we hit the chinlock. Ali fights up and hits a dropkick but the rolling X Factor is countered with a big toss to the floor. That means the running flip dive from Murphy but Ali is right back with a spinwheel kick to drop Murphy. Now a hanging DDT can connect for two on the champ but the 054 is countered with a shove off the top.

Murphy loads up the announcers’ table but Ali is right there with a Spanish Fly off the table to the floor. That gets a rather hearty 205 chant and Murphy keeps the fans’ interest with back to back powerbombs. Murphy’s Law is countered so Murphy knees him in the face, setting up Murphy’s Law to retain at 12:20.

Rating: B. This was the usually awesome Ali match but the loss took away so much of the energy they had built up. I’m really not sure what the point was in having Ali lose again here but that’s been the case for him every single time. It’s a shame that he’s stuck on 205 Live where no one gets to see how good he really is.

Daniel Bryan has nothing to say.

Lars Sullivan is coming. No brand is mentioned.

Raw Men vs. Smackdown Men

Raw: Drew McIntyre, Dolph Ziggler, Finn Balor, Braun Strowman, Bobby Lashley

Smackdown: The Miz (captain), Samoa Joe, Shane McMahon, Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio

Shane, the guy pushing the heck out of Brand Supremacy, isn’t in a Smackdown shirt. Strowman and Joe start but McIntyre tags himself in. The argument lets Joe grab the Clutch on McIntyre but he rolls out and hits the Claymore to get rid of Joe at 36 seconds. Hardy comes in next and gets dropped as well so it’s off to Ziggler. Shane comes in as well and armdrags Ziggler down, only to walk into a dropkick and Fameasser. The Zig Zag gets two with Miz making a save.

Miz comes in legally but can’t get the Figure Four on Ziggler. McIntyre tags himself in again and that means a brawl with Strowman. For some reason the Smackdown guys break it up and a 619 sends Strowman outside. Shane loads up the announcers’ table for the big elbow to drop Strowman and we cut to Stephanie and Paige watching in the back. Back in and McIntyre headbutts Miz but he won’t tag Balor.

Balor tags himself in and kicks McIntyre but gets rolled up for two. A kick to Miz’s head sets up the Coup de Grace but Miz bails to the floor. Balor Sling Blades Hardy on the floor and dropkicks Miz into the barricade. Rey comes in and the fast pace continues but he misses the 619. That earns him a Sling Blade and Balor shotgun dropkicks him into the corner. Another Coup de Grace misses and the 619 into the springboard splash gets rid of Balor at 12:06.

McIntyre throws Balor to the floor but Lashley breaks up the 619 with a big boot to Rey. The delayed vertical suplex is countered with some knees to the head and a DDT. It’s back to Ziggler but Rey brings in Hardy to punch him in the face. Hardy can’t hit the Twist of Fate but goes after McIntyre, allowing Ziggler to grab a DDT for two. Now the Twisting Stunner can connect and the Swanton hits raised knees. Miz comes in for the running corner clothesline to Ziggler and Shane adds Coast to Coast for the pin 18:10. Renee: “Shane is taking years off his career tonight alone!”

I’ll leave that one alone for how dumb it was and go to Lashley stomping Shane in the corner to make myself feel better. Lashley suplexes him into the corner for the tag to Miz, who avoids a charge to send Lashley into the corner. A second Coast to Coast is knocked out of the air by Strowman and Lashley gets two on Shane with Rey making the save. It’s off to Hardy vs. Strowman and the powerslam gets rid of Hardy at 20:46.

That leaves us with Strowman/Lashley/McIntyre vs. Shane/Mysterio/Miz but Strowman reverses the 619 into the powerslam for the pin at 21:22. Miz panics when Strowman is waiting on him and tells Shane to go get him. Strowman catches Miz instead and powerslams him for the pin at 22:37. Shane pulls himself to his feet and says bring it so Strowman dropkicks him into the corner for a splash. There’s the powerslam for the final pin at 24:01.

Rating: C+. This was more like it, assuming you ignore Smackdown being beaten like a drum all night. I was worried when Shane was the last man standing for Smackdown but at least they only went kind of crazy (sure Shane can outlast a bunch of World Champions). I’m sure there’s some kind of a point to having Raw crush them like this, though I’m almost scared to hear that explanation.

Post match Corbin jumps Strowman.

How to help with California wildfires.

Rollins is proud of his win and ready to hit an ice bath. Not so fast though as he’s told that he’ll be defending the Intercontinental Title against Dean Ambrose at TLC. Rollins is cool with that, because Ambrose won’t be able to hide.

We recap Ronda Rousey vs. Charlotte. This was supposed to be Becky Lynch vs. Rousey but Nia Jax broke Lynch’s face so Charlotte is taking her place. This is pretty much a dream match and something that could headline some big pay per views.

Ronda Rousey (Raw) vs. Charlotte (Smackdown)

Rousey has some very striking red makeup around her eyes. Charlotte shoves her into the corner to start but has to fight out of the armbar. The Figure Eight doesn’t work either and it’s a standoff. Charlotte rocks her with a face first whip into the bottom buckle and it’s time to start in on the legs. An STF without a facelock has Rousey in trouble and Charlotte busts open the mouth with some elbows to the face.

Rousey fights up with an enziguri and chokes her over the top rope to put Charlotte in some trouble. Something like a triangle has Charlotte in trouble but she stacks it up for two. Now the regular triangle goes on, only to have Charlotte reverse it into a Boston crab. That’s reversed as well but Rousey can’t get the armbar. Instead Charlotte kicks her in the face out of the corner but the moonsault hits raised boots.

The spinning Samoan drop plants Charlotte, who pops up with a spear for two. Charlotte reverses another armbar attempt into the Figure Four but Rousey turns it over. They head outside with Rousey throwing her into the barricade and unloading with strikes back inside. Charlotte chops her right back and the big boot gets two.

Rating: B. This was getting awesome at the end with neither of them being able to do anything to put the other away but they went with the cop out ending instead of anything concrete. I can go with that, but again it’s not like this is the match that people were dying to see at the time anyway. The ending is far from terrible as you don’t want either of them taking the clean loss and it sets up a rematch down the line, but I was hoping for something more definitive.

Raw 5, Smackdown 0

Post match Charlotte destroys her with the stick before grabbing a chair. The Natural Selection drives Rousey into the chair and Charlotte beats up the referees. Rousey’s neck gets Pillmanized, drawing a LOUD THANK YOU CHARLOTTE chant. Rousey gets helped out but the fans don’t seem to have much sympathy. The turn makes sense as Charlotte couldn’t beat Becky and couldn’t beat Rousey but still believes she’s the best in the world. Also, the best part of this: the reaction from the production guy when Charlotte bent over in front of him to get the chair.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Daniel Bryan. This was going to be AJ Styles vs. Lesnar II but Bryan turned heel and won the title on Tuesday, setting up a match we were going to get four years ago.

Brock Lesnar (Raw) vs. Daniel Bryan (Smackdown)

There’s a second one and Bryan’s elbow is cut open. The third German suplex and an overhead belly to belly makes it even worse as Bryan is kicked out to the floor. Back in and Bryan rolls outside as this is complete destruction. Brock tosses him into the barricade and grabs a bearhug back inside. Lesnar drops him and then hits another German suplex. Fans: “SAME OLD S***!”

The bearhug goes on again and there’s another belly to belly. The F5 connects and Lesnar pulls him up at two. Bryan gets in a kick to the head but another F5 hits the referee. That means a low blow and the running knee gives Bryan two. Bryan unloads with kicks and stomps at the head and Lesnar is rocked….but the running knee is countered into an F5. That’s countered as well and Bryan sends him outside.

Lesnar gets posted and there’s the running knee from the apron. Brock drives him into the post twice in a row but the steps hit the post. That means another running knee from Bryan and the real one gets two on Lesnar. A chop block takes Lesnar’s knee out and Bryan wraps it around the post. The missile dropkick as Lesnar in trouble as Bryan is a full on face all over again.

The running corner dropkicks stun Lesnar and another F5 is countered into the YES Lock as Brock’s knee gives out. Lesnar panics for a bit until he just grabs the hand for the break. Bryan blasts him in the face and gets the hold in again, followed by a triangle choke. That’s reversed into an F5 though and Bryan is done at 18:44.

Rating: A-. It was almost the exact same formula as AJ vs. Brock from last year but hey, we can’t have Lesnar lose a match that means absolutely nothing. It was nice to see Lesnar selling for a change and it was an awesome match, but I can’t help laughing at Smackdown getting shut out. I also have no idea why the heel turn needed to happen as Bryan was a full on face here, save for the low blow. Great match with Bryan wrestling smart but not being able to pull it off, because Lesnar is going to Lesnar.

Raw 6, Smackdown 0.

Overall Rating: B+. I don’t know what to think of this show but egads that final score is either a rib or WWE finally doing what they’ve wanted to do for years now. The main event is very fun and might even be better than the AJ match from last year. Otherwise you get some good matches, but the announcers telling you that a lot of them didn’t matter might not have been the best way to sell them. They set up a few things going forward and the wrestling was entertaining, but the Brand Supremacy thing was even more of a waste of time than usual. Still though, very solid show and it flew by instead of crawling for a change.

Results

Raw Women b. Smackdown Women – Samoan drop to Asuka

Seth Rollins b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Stomp

AOP b. The Bar – Powerbomb/suplex combination to Sheamus

Buddy Murphy b. Mustafa Ali – Murphy’s Law

Raw Men b. Smackdown Men – Powerslam to McMahon

Ronda Rousey b. Charlotte via DQ when Charlotte used a kendo stick

Brock Lesnar b. Daniel Bryan – F5

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2009 (2012 Redo): How Will He Survive?

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2009
Date: November 22, 2009
Location: Verizon Center, Washington, D.C.
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

We get clips from every Survivor Series for the opening video. The extended clips stop at 1990 though.

Team Miz vs. Team Morrison

The Miz, Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger

John Morrison, Matt Hardy, Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay

On the other side you have four World Champions and Drew McIntyre (later known as Drew Galloway in TNA). Miz is US Champion here. McIntyre (a Scottish wrestler with a lot of potential) has only been around for about three months and Sheamus (an Irish brawler) has only been on Raw less than a month.

Bourne and Swagger get things going with Evan grabbing a quick rollup for two. Ziggler comes in for the Hennig neck snap and a modified belly to belly suplex for two. Back to Swagger who pounds on the back of Bourne and brings Dolph back in again, hooking a half crab on Evan. Bourne escapes and comes back with a hurricanrana out of the corner and a jumping knee to the face.

Off to Matt vs. Drew as things slow down a bit. They send each other into opposite corners with Matt taking over via a neckbreaker and the yelling legdrop for two. Another neckbreaker puts McIntyre down but Matt goes up and misses a moonsault press. A second Future Shock (called a Kobashi DDT by Striker) gets a second elimination for Drew, leaving us with Morrison vs. Sheamus/Miz/McIntyre.

Rey Mysterio vs. Batista

Rey takes the leg out quickly and tries the 619 but Batista bails. Rey follows and is immediately slammed against the apron and Big Dave takes over. Mysterio tries to fire off some kicks but Batista clotheslines his head off to stop Rey cold. The Batista Bomb is escaped as is a powerslam and Rey goes after the knee.

We recap Team Kofi vs. Team Orton. Orton was all evil and psycho so Kofi stood up to him. This resulted in what looked to be one of the best face pushes in a long time, as Kofi showed some AWESOME emotion and looking like a serious threat to take Orton down. He destroyed an Orton racecar and then got in a BIG brawl with Orton all over Madison Square Garden, capped off by a Boom Drop through a table.

Team Randy Orton vs. Team Kofi Kingston

Kofi Kingston, MVP, Mark Henry, R-Truth, Christian

Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, CM Punk, William Regal

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Jericho misses a charge and Undertaker pounds away on Show before clotheslining him down. Show heads to the floor and Jericho gets beaten up for awhile but the big bald guy pulls the champ to the floor. Undertaker is all cool with that though and posts Show before getting crotched when attempting Old School on Jericho. Chris superplexes him down but Undertaker gets the knees up to block the Lionsault. Jericho counters the counter and puts on the Walls, but Show breaks it up with a chokeslam.

The survivors of Team Miz (Miz, McIntyre and Sheamus) brag a bit and claim to be the future. Eh kind of.

Team Mickie James vs. Team Michelle McCool

Michelle McCool, Layla, Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall, Alicia Fox

Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Melina, Gail Kim, Eve Torres

Batista liked hurting Rey.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena

Cena signs some autographs for National Guard members to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

Team Miz vs. Team Morrison

Original: B

Redo: C+

Batista vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Team Kingston vs. Team Orton

Original: B+

Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Team Mickie James vs. Team Michelle McCool

Original: D

Redo: D-

John Cena vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: C+

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B-

That’s probably about as close as this is going to get.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/18/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2009-the-pg-powers-explode/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2009 (Original): Night Of The Triple Threats

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2009
Date: November 22, 2009
Location; Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker, Michael Cole

Well here we are. After a month of build up, we’re at the Survivor Series. Since most of you have been watching the buildup, I’ll spare you the details of it. The card looks pretty good if nothing else. I’m not wild on the treatment the two triple threats are getting as they seem like the belts are being made silly which simply never works for me. I will say this though: the team matches have been booked and built very well.

That’s the key to these shows I think as you can advance feuds, like Orton vs. Kofi without actually having them fight. That’s invaluable as in today’s market you have so many PPVs dominating the market that saving some of the matches is the best thing possible. Let’s do it as I’m doing this one live so it’s going to be a bit less wordy.

The opening video talks about the history of the show. I’ve been doing that for a month so whatever.

Team Miz vs. Team Morrison

Miz, Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Ziggler, Swagger
Morrison, Matt Hardy, Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay

NOW THIS IS MORE LIKE IT! This is what the Series should be about: promoting the midcard. The most important thing about the midcard here: it exists. For so many years there just hasn’t been one as everyone is just sent to the main event or is a jobber. Here are ten guys that are firmly in the midcard. The heels are quite a team actually and there’s at least four great theme songs in there. Sheamus is a very good monster heel.

I’d bet on Lawler trying to cause Sheamus his match. The description of Miz is perfect: you might like him but you just won’t admit it. How true is that? Apparently Sheamus’ day may come tonight. There’s nothing like that great Lawler analysis. We start with Swagger and Bourne, which is a rather odd but interesting pairing. I guess that’s the point here. Allegedly Miz was at the first Survivor Series. So is he like a poor man’s Foley or something?

The stream isn’t being very nice so this could be a bit spotty here. As for reasons as to why these guys are here, more or less most of these feuds aren’t happening anymore but they were recently enough so I guess that counts for something. Ok the live idea didn’t work as I couldn’t find a good enough stream so this is being written very early Tuesday morning now. DAng it’s weird writing one of these since I haven’t done one in months now.

Seeing Sheamus after the ending of Raw is just a bit odd. Swagger is just made of awesome. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a small package blocked before. Ziggler beats the heck out of Bourne which makes me wonder if he’ll, meaning Ziggler, will ever get a push like so many people want him to. Evan Bourne is freaking scary in the air man. We get the first tag for the faces as Hardy comes in. Less than 20 seconds later he tags Bourne back in and the Shooting Star puts out Ziggler.

In about 10 seconds Bourne is out to a double arm DDT. Did Striker just say Finlay vs. McIntyre has been lighting up Friday nights? That’s very stupid but I like Striker just for his references alone so there we are. Finlay and Sheamus stare each other down and Sheamus just jumps up with a bicycle kick. I LOVE THAT! He was just like screw this standing around nonsense and kicked the tar out of him to pin him.

We’re at 4-3 now if you were a bit confused. We keep hearing about Lawler and Sheamus and no one really cares as Jerry has come off like a jerk during this whole thing. Miz calls spots to Hardy which Striker uses the Billy Graham method of saying Miz is trash talking him to cover it up, which is a good idea if nothing else. Hardy is taking a beating here which is a tradition of Survivor Series. Even on the apron Morrison has such a great presence. You can’t teach something like that.

Does Matt have a single move that doesn’t work on the neck at all? Morrison got a POP. Something in me wants to see Swagger vs. Morrison in a long feud. That would just be awesome in my mind. Yeah I’m a Morrison mark now. The guy is just freaking awesome. The referee went down which apparently is a legit injury. Starship Pain, which is a sweet name if there ever has been one, ties us up. It’s Miz, Sheamus and McIntyre vs. Shelton, Hardy and Morrison.

Miz and Morrison could main event a small PPV someday. Shelton is freaking insane in the ring. Now if only they could get him a personality. Miz pins Shelton with the Breakdown which takes less time to type than the regular name. That right there is what Miz needs more than anything else: pins over more established stars. He’s viewed as a guy with limited credibility and the more wins he gets the faster that goes away and the faster he becomes a more complete wrestler.

Like it or not, he’s the real deal and he’s going to be around for awhile. I’m still undecided on McIntyre. He’s not bad, but I don’t see him as being as great as everyone says he is. If nothing else he uses a DDT so I can’t complain. He gets us down to 3-1 and I’m marking for Morrison here, despite knowing the ending.

Morrison of course gets his head handed to him as we get even more Rockers comparisons, which doesn’t work as both guys have potential to be somewhat big deals. Eventually the Razor’s Edge from Sheamus puts out Morrison, giving us three sole survivors as WWE makes my head shake more and more.

Rating: B. This was easily the best choice for the opener. The midcard gets a very solid push here which is what these matches can do better than anything else. The ending was very good also as it would have been unrealistic for Morrison o fight off all three at once. He should have gone down here and having it 3-1 keeps him credible. This was a solid match as the heels winning is just fine. This was very good and an excellent opener.

The black push continues as Christian is the only white guy on his team. Only this comes to mind:

The segment is funny if nothing else. Kofi without the accent has upped his credibility about 1000%. I still don’t buy everything that is said about Christian. I think that’s his biggest issue: his name. Christian. It just does nothing for me at all. I’d say that’s the main problem.

We recap Rey vs. Batista, which has to be the best heel turn in a good while. The angle sucks badly as they weren’t really best friends or anything or even close so the whole thing didn’t work. Anyway, let’s get to this as the package goes on way too long.

Rey Mysterio vs. Batista

This match has a no harm clause meaning that if Batista hurts him he can’t be sued, which more or less gives away the result. As I said in the LD, only WWE would have Batista’s first major heel match in his hometown where he’s going to get a massive pop. Ok, I’m sick of any and all references to Eddie. He passed away four years ago. Yes it was tragic. Yes he’s missed. STOP FREAKING MAKING ANGLES ABOUT HIM!!!

If you want to remember him fondly, stop using him as a prop. That’s absurd. Ok, so usually I write the reviews as the match goes, but based on what I read in the LD, this was a minute long squash. I have no idea where the whole part about not being able to respect Rey again came from. The way you guys were talking about it, Rey got less offense in than he did against Khali when he was world champion. This was perfectly fine.

In wrestling, you have to have a high level of suspension of disbelief. Rey as a credible main event guy is something that certainly falls under that category. There’s no reason to believe that he should have a chance against someone of Batista’s size. The thing is in this match, he got a TON of offense in. More or less Batista had to get his hands on Rey one time and the rest would be history. Rey got out of a ton of stuff and had Batista in trouble.

I seriously do not get where the squash thing is coming from. Batista is supposed to be an animal and he mauled Rey after he hit the first big move. Was Rey supposed to kick out of the Batista Bomb? He got a beatdown after a big power move. This was perfectly fine and there was nothing wrong with it. Rey has been beaten up before by people like Chavo Guerrero of all people and he came back fine from it. He’ll come back, likely at TLC and cost Batista the title. What was wrong here?

Rating: C+. The match itself was fine. It was short but it did its job very well. Honestly, what do you want from this match? It did everything it was supposed to do which mainly was getting Rey off of TV for awhile. It did that and allowed Batista to get a big boost as a monster heel. What more do you want here?

We jump to the back with Team Orton who might as well be called team losers here given the endings to the first two matches.

Promo for the Raw that aired last night which was quite good.

Team Orton vs. Team Kingston

Orton, Rhodes, DiBiase, Regal, Punk
Kingston, Christian, R-Truth, MVP, Mark Henry

The feuds are about as basic as you could think of here but that works fine here. We’re starting out with Henry vs. Orton. Please, make it quick. Henry is named the Chef of Hell’s Kitchen by Striker. I don’t get it. Striker goes on to point out that Orton is a Royal Rumble winner which could play into strategy here. Cole points out he’s a six time world champion as well. Ok, the Rumble thing makes a little sense I guess as both matches are about survival.

The world champion thing tells me one thing: titles change hands too often. No one mentions that Orton has been the sole survivor three times because that clearly has no effect on anything at all. Either way, an RKO takes Henry out in about a minute so at least he didn’t fill up the screen for too long. On paper this more or less should be Christian and Kofi again Punk and Orton.

Everyone else on those teams are more or less jobbers or midcard guys that aren’t going to do anything here. Thank goodness they didn’t call that move where Punk jumped and did a front flip over MVP a belly to belly suplex. At least they got that right. My boy hits a GTS to put Truth out, but does a very smart thing before doing it: he pulls Truth to his corner before going for the cover.

It’s little things like that which can make a wrestler be a step ahead of everyone else. It’s smart from a kayfabe perspective which so few people do yet. They’re really talking Kofi up here which is the best thing they could do. After a Killswitch misses, a pretty nice spinning sunset flip from the middle rope puts out DiBiase to make it 4-3.

Kofi comes in to a solid pop. If you haven’t seen it, take a look at the MSG fight between Kofi and Orton. It made Kofi’s career. Rhodes is called the Triforce of the Blue Eyed Bandit. I’m not sure if I like that or not. After a blind tag MVP hits what is actually a Mafia Kick on Regal for the pin to tie us up at 3. Striker is just on a higher level than Cole and King behind the mic.

There’s such a flow to him out there and he sounds completely comfortable. Ballin might be the most absurd move in wrestling since the People’s Elbow. IT’S A FREAKING ELBOW DROP!!! Thankfully Rhodes hits Cross Roads to put him out. That’s a major step for Legacy as having their own individual finishers sets them up for an eventual singles push. Think about all of the great teams that have split and all of them had singles moves to end matches with.

A Killswitch puts out Rhodes, and amazingly enough we’re down to a two on two match with the four biggest stars in this thing. Who would have seen that coming? From out of almost nowhere, Christian hits a Killswitch on Orton but Punk makes a save. Orton is up in about 15 seconds and Christian walks into an RKO to make it 2-1 with Punk and Orton against Kofi.

Punk gets him up for the GTS but because he kicks him feet he gets out. That’s all anyone has to do to get out of a move like that. The magical feet kicking knows no bounds. Orton hasn’t been in at all since it’s been one on one. Orton has an awesome silhouette. He just looks awesome standing there. If nothing else we’re getting a good Kofi vs. Punk match. I love what they’ve been doing with Kofi.

Instead of the way they built up Hardy who kept getting closer and closer but didn’t actually win, they’re having Kofi just rise up and start beating everyone he faces. I like that as it’s a different style to the push and it’s working very well. He catches Punk in a rollup and gets him. Orton walks in and almost immediately the Trouble In Paradise ends this. Kofi’s skyrocket push continues.

Rating: B+. Again, this was a very well done match. They knew what they were doing and it showed. They got rid of the six guys that meant nothing and got it down to what mattered. This match was designed to make Kofi look great again and they did just that. He pinned two men that within the last two months had been world champions completely clean. That’s a huge boost to Kofi and puts even more heat on Kofi vs. Orton. I loved this and it came off very well.

Don’t try this at home.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Big Show vs. Chris Jericho

I’m really not big at all on the idea of having more or less the same match on both brands for the title, especially triple threats. Granted I don’t like triple threats anyway as it’s all about a gimmick that’s been done so many freaking times that it has lost any and all kinds of credibility it once may have had but again that’s neither here nor there.

Not to mention everything in this match turns into yet another formula match, which is one guy goes down and we have a one on one match, then repeat that with a different order of people. Naturally I could have written double this in the time Taker’s entrance takes. Yeah he’s still coming. I had a nice bowl of soup during his entrance.

It ticked me off that I was out of soup and had to get dressed and go to the store and get some soup and then come home and make it but at least I didn’t miss any of the match since Taker was 90% done with his entrance when I got back. Naturally, the match goes the formula direction for the majority of it. I’m not sold at all on splitting Show and Jericho already. They more or less are the tag division at this point, but granted last night on Raw they were announced to be fighting DX at TLC for the belts.

Again, I don’t like this as it’s two guys that won’t be together in 3 months because THEY ARE NOT A TAG TEAM. They’re singles guys with nothing else to do so let’s just throw them together again. They’re just kind of going through the motions here with near falls being broken up by the third guy every time.

That’s fine as it builds some drama, but at the same time it really doesn’t do much at all. It’s repetitive, which is never a good thing in a match. It’s not a bad match, but it’s not that interesting at all. Finally Jericho takes a shot to the head and Show goes into Hell’s Gate for the tap. Not wild on the ending but whatever.

Rating: C+. This was your run of the mill triple threat. Granted that might be because Show was in it and he just can’t do anything most of the time. What the heck happened to him? In WCW he was the MAN. Anyway, this wasn’t bad, but dang it went as by the book as you could ask for. I don’t think anyone believed Taker was dropping the belt here, but geez could they have been any less boring about it?

Josh Matthews, who should be thankful for having a job given that he’s completely worthless, is with the survivors of Team Miz who say they’re all great.

Face Divas vs. Heel Divas

McCool, Jillian, Beth Phoenix, Alicia Fox, Layla
Mickie James, Gail Kim, Kelly, Eve, Melina

How sad is it that I have no clue what show most of these girls are on? So Melina is champion yet Mickie is the captain. I hate these matches as all of four people care and it’s a T&A match. Yeah the girls look good, but that’s all there is to it. The matches are the same every year and next to nothing ever changes. Why are these girls feuding? No reason, other than some are faces and some are heels.

I am bored out of my mind with this match. Why am I supposed to care about any of these women? Kelly eliminates Layla to absolutely no reaction. McCool apparently disrespects AJ Styles by using his finishing move, despite AJ being known for all his other stuff more than that. That was so overblown it was ridiculous. Eve is just worthless in the ring and it’s pitiful. The thing is, she looks good in shorts and a tight top so she’s told she can wrestle.

She puts out Jillian as still no one really cares. Beth puts Eve out in a few seconds to get us down to 3-3. Kelly goes out despite her face never hitting the mat. Mickie and Beth botch a crucifix but it gets three anyway. We have Mickie and Melina vs. Alicia and McCool.

Alicia goes out due to a high level of suck so we’re down to 2-1 as McCool tries so hard to get people to care about her or accept her as anything but the vagina Taker gets off in. That’s an image I didn’t want. Finally after far too long of a match Melina beats McCool to end this mess.

Rating: D. This was, as usual, a waste of time. The wrestling is ok, but geez what is it going to take to get it through the heads of the writers that NO ONE CARES??? Seriously, when was the last time you saw the crowd into a Divas match for a reason other than what the girls looked like? The division is a joke and always will be a joke because there are no characters, there are no stories, and the champions are flavors of the month, except for a few here and there.

Mickie, the most talented one, is criticized for not being a stick but having some meat on her which makes her more realistic. That’s evil apparently, and again shows everything that’s wrong with the women in wrestling. Scratch that. Everything wrong with the division is better.

We recap Batista vs. Rey, despite the match already happening. It sets up Batista saying he’s not sorry.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. John Cena

DX has gotten some heat for coming out together, and I can understand that. It makes it look like they don’t care about being champion, which is the point of the stupid match and being a wrestler in the first place but whatever. In a great moment, Shawn kicks HHH a few seconds into the match. I love that. He just made up for coming out with HHH as he says screw this guy, I want the title. That’s awesome.

This however creates a good thing and a bad thing, as we have the usual greatness that is Cena vs. Shawn, but it also sends us straight into another formula of a match, which is the last thing we need here after what we had earlier. Anyway we hit the floor after some good stuff, and as Cena is going to FU Shawn through a table, HHH is back for the save. He makes up for earlier and hits a spinebuster through the table with Shawn.

And yep, it’s formula time as it’s HHH vs. Cena in the ring while Shawn recovers. And after more good stuff there, we get the DX somewhat decent combustion. It of course ends with Cena and the STF, but Shawn gets a crossface instead. This is another ok match that is just pure formula stuff. It’s just take two guys, have them fight for three minutes then replace one guy.

Shawn kicks both guys, but HHH falls on Cena while Shawn falls outside for no apparent reason. We do get the always fun let’s go Cena, Cena sucks chants. I love those. FU to HHH as we’re in pure finishers/counters only. The problem with having double main events like these is that it keeps one from being the real main event.

It makes this match seem like less of something because we did it just 25 minutes ago. Just to further emphasize my point of only finishers at the end, Shawn kicks HHH for the third time and Cena hits an FU on Shawn to slam him into HHH for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was your run of the mill triple threat. This wasn’t bad, but dang it went as by the book as you could ask for. I don’t think anyone believed Cena was dropping the belt here, but geez could they have been any less boring about it? In case that looks familiar to you, it’s because it’s word for word the same as I put about the Smackdown title match but with Cena instead of Taker and the Big Show part edited out.

That’s because more or less it was the same thing but with different people in it. That’s the problem with these matches and booking like this: it’s repetitive, which makes it very boring, at least to me. The wrestling was fine given who you had in there, but MAN was it predictable.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a good show and that’s primarily because of one thing: the booking MADE SENSE. There is not one thing here where you have to scratch your head and wonder what they heck they were thinking. Everything went as it should have and it worked out well. Feuds were advanced, the right guys went over, no big names lost credibility, and some feuds were ended. What more could you ask for?

The one thing that you could ask for was a more creative way to have the title matches. I hate matches where it’s just the same thing that it’s always been but with different people which is what the world title matches were here. It’s a good show, but it won’t blow you away by any means.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2006 (2012 Redo): Old School Is Cool

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2006
Date: November 26, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,400
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is the 20th show so we talk about tradition and all that jazz. Then it turns into a regular video about a PPV, but a good one.

Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad

Legends: Ric Flair, Sgt. Slaughter, Ron Simmons, Dusty Rhodes

Spirit Squad: Kenny, Johnny, Nicky, Mikey

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Lita is defending and slaps Mickie in the face to start, causing Mickie to choke away in the corner. The champ comes back by literally throwing Mickie around which is a bit less than what you would expect from someone as talented as Lita. Mickie goes up and gets slammed off the top as this is one sided so far. The fans think Lita is a crack w****. Their words, not mine.

Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO

Team DX: Shawn Michaels, HHH, Hardy Boys, CM Punk

Team Rated-RKO: Edge, Randy Orton, Johnny Nitro, Mike Knox, Gregory Helms

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Kennedy beats up Undertaker post match but Undertaker snaps up and pounds him down as well. Undertaker WHACKS him with the chair to get a gasp from the crowd. JBL LOSES IT as Kennedy gets beaten up even more and tombstoned.

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

John Cena, Kane, Bobby Lashley, Sabu, Rob Van Dam

Big Show, Test, MVP, Finlay, Umaga

The Extreme Elimination Chamber is coming.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Booker T

Ratings Comparison

Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: B

Redo: D+

Mickie James vs. Lita

Original: B

Redo: D

Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO

Original: B

Redo: C-

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Original: C+

Redo: C

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Batista vs. Booker T

Original: D-

Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D-

WHAT WAS I THINKING ON THOSE EARLIER MATCHES???

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/15/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2006-who-thought-batista-vs-booker-was-a-good-idea/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2006 (Original): Well That Didn’t Work

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2006
Date: November 26, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,400
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, JBL, Michael Cole

It’s the 20th show in case you were wondering for some bizarre reason that I can’t comprehend. With the 2006 show, the only real difference is the induction of ECW into the company. It brings the third brand and at this point is still complete with the Originals and Heyman etc. Also there are some new faces such as Johnny Nitro (Morrison), Punk, MVP and Kennedy.

There are three Survivor Series matches here and the main event is Booker vs. Batista which had been done about a million times already but they figured what the heck we might as well do it again. Other than that, there’s not a lot here that jumps off the page at me.

Oh DX is here again as they’re feuding with Rated RKO, having just finished fighting Vince and Shane. Other than that, there’s just not a lot here. It looks kind of generic but sometimes cards like that are best. Here we go again as we’re very close to wrapping this series up.

The intro video is about as bland as you can get, but in this case it’s actually working. They talk very briefly about how this is the 20th Survivor Series and a new generation is here, followed by a quick build up for all seven matches. There’s not a lot here but it’s a nice change of pace from all of the stupid videos about Survival that we’ve heard for the last two or three years. After the four (ECW is left out) commentators talk about their show’s big matches, we’re ready to go.

Spirit Squad vs. Legends

The Spirit Squad is comprised of Kenny Dykstra, Johnny Jeter who was pretty awesome in OVW, a short guy named Mikey, and a guy named Nick, who would eventually be known as Dolph Ziggler. Spellcheck has never heard the name Dolph? Has it never seen Rocky 4? That’s just sad. Anyway, there’s also a 5th guy on the outside that never did anything. On the other side we have Arn Anderson on the floor with Dusty Rhodes, Sgt. Slaughter, Ron Simmons (really?) and Ric Flair in the ring.

Apparently Simmons was supposed to be Roddy Piper but he had been diagnosed with cancer so naturally he couldn’t wrestle. Ok in that case it’s a bit better. Naturally this is over the respect for the old timers thing which is about as basic of a storyline that will almost always work as you could ask for. Dusty comes out to his American Dream music so I’m happy. Simmons is rocking the catchphrase shirt and the APA music.

Anderson comes out to the Horsemen theme, so this is officially a cool show. Dang that music is awesome. I really love kayfabe as Flair and Anderson have tried to cripple Dusty at least half a dozen times over the years yet now they’re his partners. That could only work in wrestling. The Spirit Squad were a bunch of male cheerleaders. Yep, that’s about all that needs to be said. It amuses me greatly to see Ziggler in there looking like that.

We start out with Simmons against Mikey, because that’s a great way to open up a PPV. Ross says there’s an unlimited amount of combinations that could occur. Actually there are sixteen combinations that could happen while the match is still going on, but who am I to question the great mathematician known as Jim Ross? Ron beats down the whole heel team but gets tripped and goes after Kenny.

After he and Arn beat up Mikey, he’s counted out despite the referee never actually saying ten. Well I guess that’s as good of a way to get rid of him as any other, but I would have liked it to have lasted longer than two minutes. Mitch the manager gets thrown out too so there we go. Arn gets the same and I want to massacre that referee. This is kind of overkill here and even the fans are chanting bull.

When you can get a Philly crowd to cheer for you, you have officially won. On a replay we see that Anderson beat up Mitch. So wait, he can get thrown out for beating on someone not even in the match? What sense does that even begin to make? If your answer is none at all, YOU’RE RIGHT! Think about it: he’s getting in trouble for beating someone up that isn’t officially involved in the match. So could he be thrown out of the match for getting into a bar fight? See, it makes no sense.

Anyway, we’re up to Slaughter against Mikey now. Dusty gets a solid pop when he comes in, thankfully wearing a shirt. Flair gets less of a pop, but the chops make up for it. The heels are getting destroyed here which is just what shouldn’t have happened. I get that they’re legends, but isn’t the job of guys like these to put over young talent? I guess not as Sarge has the Cobra Clutch on Nicky. Man these guys are hard to tell apart other than Kenny.

I love how in today’s company, this would be so one sided the other way that it’s not even funny. With the referee distracted, Johnny comes in and kicks Slaughter in the back of the head and Nicky gets the easy pin to make it 4-2. In one of the stupidest looking things I’ve ever seen, with Nicky still down from the cover, Dusty casually walks in, measures him, and drops a very slow elbow on him to get the pin.

Seriously? That’s all it takes? A single elbow drop to beat someone? I get that Dusty was limited at best in the ring but he couldn’t pick him up and throw some punches and slam him or something? A freaking elbow drop gets the pin? Come on now. For the life of me I don’t get what the big deal about Kenny was. He was ok at best and that’s about all. After the really stupid (and insanely slow) Flip Flop and Fly, Dusty gets rolled up and Kenny pins him.

So now we have Flair vs. Kenny, Mikey and Johnny. Which of the jobbers is Flair going to take out first? It’s Mikey who gets taken out by a roll up with Flair’s feet on the ropes for a nice old school cheating pin. Flair truly was a master at taking something as simple as that and making it look cool and so completely evil when he was a heel. Sometimes less is more and Flair was the best there ever was in that area.

Ross points out that the Legends team had 21 world title reigns between them, but Flair has 16 of those. That’s just amusing. Flair hooks a quick inside cradle to make this Johnny vs. Ric Flair. Hmm, I’m not sure how this is going to go. I have to go with the guy in green. No way some old guy beats him is there? Oh never mind.

Even I can’t make this sound funny. The figure four gets the old guys the win about 45 seconds later. The Squad beats up Flair afterwards and surprisingly no help comes out for Flair.

Rating: C+. Eh this was what it was. They only had about ten minutes which is what it should have been. Other than Simmons, who wasn’t supposed to be in there anyway, all of the eliminations kind of made sense. Having Flair be the winner is ok I guess as he was at least an active wrestler at the time. His picking apart of the team at the end was great stuff as nothing he did was flashy or anything like that as he beat all three guys using very basic stuff.

That’s something that a lot of guys now could learn actually. The Figure Four was appropriate as he shouldn’t have gone for that with others around and he didn’t. When he was outnumbered he used fast stuff but once things were even he used his best. That’s terrific thinking there and it worked quite well. This wasn’t really about anything but nostalgia, but sometimes there’s nothing wrong with that, and this is a great example of one of those times.

Cole says that Philly is one of three cities to host all of the Big Four, with the others being New York City and Boston. That’s actually pretty cool.

Recap of Benoit vs. Chavo, which goes like this. Chavo and Vickie had allegedly been doing jack with Eddie’s estate or something like that which was never elaborated on. Benoit comes back from a hiatus and wins the US Title. Chavo also says that Rey is trying to steal the Guerrero name because that would be something evil.

We’ll of course ignore that Chavo and Vickie have been doing that for their whole careers but whatever. Anyway, Chavo injured Rey’s knee and put him out, so Benoit came to his rescue. That brings us here.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chave Guerrero

Vickie actually has some pretty awesome cleavage. Since this is Benoit, it’s naturally an intense match. There’s not a lot to say here. It’s really just a lot of strikes from both guys mixed with the occasional attempt at the Crossface. I know that’s not a lot to go on but I really have nothing to say here. It’s insane to think that Benoit would be gone in less than a year. This is where Chavo is at his best: in there with another guy of about his size and just letting it go.

Both guys can wrestle as well as anyone else and Chavo, or Shavo as JBL refers to him as because he can’t pronounce his name for some reason, really is better than he’s given credit for. Vickie interferes about a dozen times here and it’s rather annoying. JBL compares it to cheating on your wife with some hot chick on the road. Dang what must his wife have thought of that line? Benoit misses the headbutt because of Vickie leading to Guerrero hitting the Frog Splash for two.

A massive Eddie chant breaks out because of that. Benoit goes for the Sharpshooter and gets shoved off, slamming into Vickie THANK GOODNESS. Chavo goes to check on her and the Crossface ends this. It was short but quite intense which was where Benoit shined.

Rating: B. Like I said, this was short but intense. Benoit could fight with the best of them but he could also wrestle better than the best of them which is what made him so successful. Chavo certainly can go too and it’s a shame that he’s a comedy jobber to this day. I really do feel bad for him, but he’s getting on TV so you can’t blame him for that. Solid match that was just long enough to not feel short.

The Elimination Chamber is coming back at December 2 Dismember. Oh dear this was awful in every sense of the word. Also, it’s A WEEK LATER. There’s a rant coming one day on that show as it’s about as much of a debacle as humanly possible, but I’ll save that for later.

Edge and Lita are with Todd Grisham. Tonight is Lita’s last match despite the fact that she’s the Women’s Champion. Edge offers some weak Philly jokes before doing the smarter thing and kissing Lita. He rants a bit more while Cryme Tyme is behind them sneaking into her locker room and stealing her stuff.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Lita

Like I said, this is Lita’s last night with the company. Mickie is at this point the queen of the short skirts which gave us some AWESOME visuals for a long time. For the life of me I don’t get how people don’t think she’s hot. Mickie is flat out gorgeous on so many levels. Granted Lita is somehow hotter which defies logic. Lita’s music truly does rock. This likely is going to go quick as it’s about as obvious as possible that Mickie walks out with the belt here.

Allegedly Lita is leaving due to the fans hating her, which is actually pretty creative. The fans boo people all the time yet this time the fans are actually getting rid of someone they can’t stand. Trish had left two months prior to this, so this is more or less the ending of the Women’s Division’s best years. More or less they’re just going through the motions here and it’s not that interesting.

To be fair, at least Lita isn’t being a witch like Goldberg and Lesnar were when they left and having a horrible match more or less on purpose. She’s not exactly lighting the world on fire or anything, but she’s certainly out there trying and that’s all I can ask of her. Mickie surprisingly kicks out of both the Litarana and the moonsault to a decent pop. My goodness Mickie has a nice figure.

After some back and forth reversals, Mickie hits the jumping DDT to get the pin and the division is officially in big trouble. That’s not a knock on Mickie by any means, but other than her around this time there was absolutely no one that could carry a decent match. She and Melina traded the belt a bit before Candice arrived and took the division over despite a rather severe lack of talent at the time.

Lita wants a mic as the fans are singing to her a familiar song. Actually she’s demanding that Lillian calls her the best Women’s Champion ever, which of course gets her booed again. It’s a shame she left because she was awesome as a heel. Anyway, after she whines a lot, Cryme Tyme, who was the hottest team on the planet around this time, comes out with the box, and it’s time for a HO SALE! Everything must go so have your money ready.

This really is hilarious as JTG has charisma to burn. He’s actually a lot better on the mic than he’s given credit for. They sell mainly underwear and bras with JBL offering $100 for some panties. They take the money and toss them into the crowd of course. Lita is freaking out over this as they pull out her vibrator. I love how the cops aren’t here as it’s clearly Lita’s stuff and she’s upset about this. The last item: it’s big, it’s wide, it’s cheap and you can fit your head in it.

It’s Lita’s box. As Cryme Tyme is leaving, you can hear some very profane in their song. That’s most interesting. You kind of have to feel bad for Lita that on her last night this is her sendoff, but dang that was great. It’s a shame that they never win jack in the ring, but geez they need to go back to doing stuff like this as it was hilarious.

Rating: B. Well, they made Mickie look strong and Lita looked fine on her way out so those two missions were certainly accomplished. Considering there was absolutely zero suspense about the ending, I’d say this was fine. There’s little drama but the match itself was fine.

Mickie was the future of the division so having her beat Lita clean after kicking out of her signature moves was the exact right thing to do. This was fine for what it was and the girls both looked hot. Couple that with a great comedy segment and this was sweet.

We go to an interview with Cole and Batista from earlier in the day. Cole asks a bunch of questions and Batista says nothing at all to anything. He just sits and stares straight ahead. After a clip of Booker attacking him on Smackdown, Batista still says nothing. Cole asks if he has anything at all to say and Batista takes off his glasses, looks at Cole and simply says “Tonight, I’m leaving as World Heavyweight Champion”. End of interview.

I LOVE that. How many times have you seen people do the exact same promo that absolutely nothing gets said in at all and it’s just the same stuff that we hear every month? This was directly to the point and made Batista look crazy, which is exactly the point. I loved this and it did its job to perfection.

Team DX vs. Team Rated RKO

DX, Hardys, Punk
Randy Orton, Edge, Mike Knox, Johnny Nitro, Gregory Helms

The feuds are pretty self explanatory here with Punk against Knox, Nitro against Jeff and Matt against Helms. We don’t get any stupid things like stories or anything like that. Why waste time there. Let’s just get theme music playing and get to it! Jeff is Intercontinental Champion here. For some reason Lillian calls Matt and Jeff Team Xtreme while Ross calls them their traditional names.

Punk gets a solid pop. He’s a rookie here and is still undefeated. Naturally since he’s young, over and good with a different gimmick, Vince decided that Hardcore Holly should outlast him in the Elimination Chamber. Heyman had wanted to put Punk over Big Show but Vince decided that Holly had more potential. For those of you keeping score, that’s Heyman – 1, Vince – 0. DX gets a big pop despite their entrance taking forever.

Who would have thought that at this time three years later Matt would be by far and away the least successful? After a longer version of the standard intro in which all of the faces try to get different sections of the crowd to cheer the loudest, we’re on to the heels. First of all though, we get a HUGE CM Punk chant. He gets to ask are you ready? That’s saying a lot. That really is a freaking stacked face team in there with what, 25 world titles between four guys?

Melina and Nitro come out first with her looking ridiculously hot. For some reason that no one gets, Kevin Federline was a character around this time and an A-list guy along with Nitro and Melina. Vince’s desperation to be in every facet of entertainment will never cease to amaze me. Helms, the Cruiserweight Champion and coming out to the most generic rock music of all time is next. Knox, sans awesome beard is somehow dating Kelly at this point. Her skirt might be 4 inches wide. That’s awesome.

Edge and Orton are the tag champions here and their mix of music is completely awesome. After about ten minutes of intros and another Punk chant we start off with Knox and HHH. HHH, being a selfish bastard as always, hits on Kelly. At the time Kelly was an exhibitionist character so she gets up to flash HHH but Knox cuts him off. He turns into Sweet Chin Music and it’s 5-4 after about 45 seconds. The fans are WAY into Punk here.

Naturally Hardcore Holly would get 10x the pops though. Shawn scares the heck out of Melina in a funny spot. Morrison is in now and the faces take their time beating the living tar out of him. Edge beats on Matt for a bit which is dripping with history. I’m glad the captains aren’t staying on the apron until the end. Matt is bleeding from the mouth. I guess that’s better than being From The South. Punk comes in and gets cheered louder than anyone in the match.

After a few seconds, Nitro is tapping fast. He needs to bring that back, even as a secondary move. I’m talking about the Anaconda Vice in case there was any confusion. Helms and Edge beat down Punk, but he still gets massive chants. They’ll be silent when Holly shows up though. You know he’s a real star. He won a tag title. Helms busts out a one leg version of what will become known as the Codebreaker. The RKO puts Punk more or less out cold but Shawn breaks up the pin.

Punk finally gets the tag to HHH who comes in for the first time. Naturally he cleans house for awhile but it’s time for the big brawl, leading to the Hardys taking everyone out. The Twist of Fate and Swanton takes out Helms to make it 5 vs. Rated RKO. The heels grab their belts and try to leave but the Hardys cut them off. They all beat on Edge for awhile and then he gets kicked in the face for the pin. Ross calls him a Canadian Piñata which is kind of funny.

Randy tries to run through the crowd but every face not named DX catches him and the DX Double Team Finishing Combination, which is a long way to say Sweet Chin Music and a Pedigree take him out for the clean sweep. Massive posing and celebrating follows.

Rating: B. This was very fun. It was fast paced and it got the point over perfectly. Also it doesn’t bury Edge and Orton because not even two A-list guys like them could overcome an obstacle like this. This was a great example of perfect booking and a great Survivor Series match. Punk’s pops are the most surprising part here though as they were by far and away the biggest thing of the match.

Vince is a freaking idiot to not let Punk get pushed because he wasn’t a big enough name yet or whatever. That’s a great example of his ego taking control of his senses. Punk would get pushed, but they freaking pushed Holly over him, and for what? The idea of paying dues? Come on now Vince, listen to the people and grow up for a change.

Time to recap the only real push that Kennedy ever got. This was around the time where he kept beating world champions and he’s challenged Taker at his show. Oddly that’s not Mania but whatever. They did manage to make this a First Blood match which helps a lot as it allows Kennedy to potentially beat Taker but Taker doesn’t have to actually get pinned. As for the story here, Kennedy says that he’s young so he has to take out the old man that is Taker.

How many people have used this same story? That’s just a painful lack of creativity. Also I would be willing to bet that at some point in the promos leading up to this, Kennedy has said he’s not afraid of the dark because no one ever has been. In the highlight package, Kennedy says that at Survivor KENNEDY! Sorry I had to get that joke in at least once.

He says that at Survivor Series the decade and a half of destruction will end. Well that’s all well and good for a threat but the decade and a half ended the year before. We’re closing in on two decades now. Is Kennedy planning on bringing a time traveling Delorean to the match or something? That would be cooler than he is, so maybe it should happen.

Undertaker vs. Mr. Kennedy

Before the match, Kennedy is talking to Krystal about how this is the biggest match of his career when MVP comes up. I almost forgot: they were teaming a bit at the time and actually had a very short feud with the Brothers of Destruction. I’ll give you two guesses as to which team got their heads handed to them. Kennedy has Vaseline on his forehead which keeps fists from making full contact and thereby opening up his head. That’s actually pretty smart.

Kennedy is wearing the Norcal shirt so I’m making a good bit here. Why does the blood have to come from the head? I’d love to see someone come out with a needle and poke their opponent’s finger to get the win. I’d half die of laughter. Kennedy desperately needs his new music at this point as the one he’s using here is painfully generic. He takes off two of the turnbuckle pads as JBL calls him the future of Smackdown. Again, that’s something that when you hear it now it’s just incredibly funny.

Holy crap Cole made a Back to the Future reference! I swear that wasn’t foreshadowing or anything like that when I made the Delorean joke earlier. Wow that actually made my review. I’m stunned. As Taker comes out Kennedy pulls off another buckle covering. Taker really does look awesome here. After over ten minutes since we started talking about this match, the bell finally rings. Ok, that’s just WAY too long.

I have no interest in watching it after that long, but at least this looks cool so let’s get to it. They keep pointing out that this is anything goes. We get it guys, chill a bit. This is really just a brawl/Taker beating up Kennedy to start us off, which I guess makes the most sense. I’m liking this actually. It’s a lot better than I expected, and I think that’s because they’re going on a rather slow style which allows them to set up to a big finish.

That’s fine, although I’m not sure why Taker is working on Kennedy’s ribs. I guess it’s because he wants to slow him down? Does that makes sense? I guess in some way it does, but it just doesn’t feel right. I’ve rarely seen anyone bleed from the stomach, at least in a wrestling match. Taker is completely dominant here. Cole asks about the logic of attacking the ribs as well, which has JBL saying Taker wants Kennedy to bleed from the mouth.

That’s…..kind of stupid but it works I suppose. A low blow does little to slow down Taker, which I kind of like I think. It keeps the whole painless man thing working. Another low blow actually works though so the first was completely pointless. Kennedy goes to the floor and is bleeding from the mouth but MVP comes out with a towel to clean it up. I’m surprised it can clot that fast but whatever.

With Taker back in control, MVP comes in with a chair for no apparent reason and cracks Taker with it to bust him open. That was just odd. Post match, Kennedy beats on him a bit more and gets in his face with the mic for his catchphrase. Taker of course grabs him by the throat and it’s beatdown time.

Taker KILLS him with the chair which gets a holy crap chant from a Philly crowd. That says a lot. A tombstone ends this beating as Taker poses to close the segment with JBL talking about how awesome and scary Taker is.

Rating: C+. This started off solid but it felt like the ending came from absolutely nowhere. MVP coming down wasn’t needed as he was swinging for Kennedy and it was just a big mess. I get why they had Kennedy win here as it makes the most sense, but dang this was just a mess near the end.

For the life of me I don’t get why they booked it like that. This is a great example of a match that just needed more time to flesh itself out. Another five minutes or so would have made this much better.

Booker isn’t worried about Batista tonight.

Again with no transition, we’re at our penultimate match.

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

Cena, RVD, Kane, Lashley, Sabu
Big Show, MVP, Test, Finlay, Umaga

Dang those are some pretty motley crews of tag teams. Lashley is just becoming a bit deal, Kane is Kane, RVD is pretty worthless and Sabu just sucks. Test is the worst excuse for a big man ever and Finlay never really did anything other than have a midget for a son. This just doesn’t look good at all on paper. Let’s get this over with. Cena is between feuds with Show and Umaga here. We start with Umaga and Cena which would become the title feud very soon after this.

The Champ puts Umaga on the floor with a clothesline and the savage reacts savagely. He rips up the table of course and gets out a monitor which he blasts RVD, Sabu and Cena with for the fast DQ. Well that was abrupt. I get that they want to keep him hot but that’s a bit, shall we say extreme? I get what they’re trying to do here but it is a bit much. Granted it puts the faces at an early disadvantage so that’s mission accomplished if nothing else.

After that insanity we’re back with Finlay vs. RVD. Test comes in to beat on RVD a bit as Test continues to just be a failure on many levels. Vince to his credit though kept trying to push him despite him completely sucking at it. After about a minute in there Finlay comes back in just in case you missed him. Since he’s had his face kicked in for a good long while now Van Dam is bleeding from the mouth.

This is just not interesting at all for some reason despite there being a lot of names in there that are certainly A-list guys. I guess it’s that there’s no way Cena’s team is losing here but whatever. Van Dam hits one heck of a kick on Finlay which I think wasn’t supposed to be that solid. He caught him great though and it looked awesome. After a rather weak brawl, Kane interferes and hits a chokeslam on MVP to set up the Five Star and make it 5-3.

As RVD gets up though, Test hits the SICKEST big boot I’ve ever seen to take him out. Even Kane on the apron was knocked back by just looking at it. I mean Kane is just watching this and he looks like he got hit by a right hand and he’s only wincing because of how solid a kick that was. That was completely sick and no one would kick out of that. Based on that kick alone, I’d buy Test as a main event guy.

Go find a video of this match to see how sick that was. I’m impressed. Sabu immediately runs in and rolls Test up but since that’s a wrestling move it doesn’t work. On the floor Lashley hits a spear on Test to allow Sabu to hit a Tornado DDT to get the win on him, yet again crushing any semblance of a push that Test could have gotten. Show walks in and a simple chokeslam ends purple pants.

I know this is just listing stuff but there’s maybe 30 seconds between falls, which is counting people coming in, the moves and the counts. That leaves little time for anything else. Kane comes in. Oh in case you lost track, it’s Kane, Cena and Lashley against Finlay and Show. To follow up on that kick, RVD is just now leaving. That’s insane. Kane is 200lbs lighter than Show. That’s even scarier.

During a double choke from the big men, the man known as Little Bastard who will eventually be named Hornswoggle comes in and distracts the referee long enough for Kane to get smacked with the club and then chokeslammed to make this 2-2. This feels like they ran out of time in the middle of the match. Now we get Show against Cena with John being booed badly. After too long of a beating on Cena Lashley gets the hot tag and cleans house.

Show takes both guys down though to set up a pretty bad elimination for Finlay. The Irishman rolls Horny into the ring and is going to use him as a battering ram but Lashley hits a running punch to the ribs which is called a spear. Cena tries to FU Horny but Show stops him. Cena is just flat out hated in this town. Who would have seen that coming?

Once it’s 2-1, I don’t think Show got in any offense at all. Well, that’s a great way to make your champion look just before the first ECW PPV isn’t it guys? After the third Lashley spear of the match (learn some new moves for goodness’s sake) the 500lb FU ends this. Massive celebrations follow.

Rating: D+. What was the point of this? Cena was in the middle of his feuds here and the rest was just kind of a big preview of the awful Chamber match next week. Most of these guys were seemingly thrown together and told to go have a twelve minute Survivor Series match.

WAY too much of this was rapid fire eliminations which rarely if ever work. I really wasn’t too big on this but some cool spots make it ok. Also it’s short, which is a big problem but in another way it’s also the best thing about it. Try having that make sense.

Hey! There’s another PPV in a week and even though Vince is going to announce only two matches and go completely against what the fans are cheering for because he knows better. I mean really think about it. The fans are chanting for Punk despite HHH and HBK and one of the most popular tag teams of all time being in there, but he naturally didn’t get to last as long as that master of the ring, Hardcore Holly. Vince, grow up. You really need to.

We get what I guess you would call a recap of Booker vs. Batista. The idea is simple: Batista has tried twice or so already and hasn’t gotten the belt, so this is his last chance which gives the ending away already. This led to the ridiculously annoying Sharmell shouting ALL HAIL KING BOOKER!, about once every three seconds. It was a decent idea for a drinking game. Batista had been forced to relinquish the title nearly a year ago due to injury and hasn’t gotten it back yet. Yep, that’s about it.

Smackdown World Title: King Booker vs. Batista

Teddy Long comes out and says exactly the same thing I just did, but adds that if Booker is counted out or disqualified Batista gets the belt, again making sure that the ending of the Batista Bomb is set in stone. I’ve always shaken my head over the little spin move that Batista would do when he was jumping up and down. Of course it’s up and down as I don’t think you can jump any other way.

Actually according to AJ Styles’ old music you can jump to the left which you can also do in the Time Warp so there we are. That was a rather pointless rant but whatever. This is a long entrance and I’m not that interested in the match itself. King Booker was either brilliant or a complete failure and I’m still not sure which. If nothing else it gave him an actual gimmick. Before this he was just Booker T.

Cole says the following great line: “There’s the Animal, pacing like a caged animal.” Does that just sound stupid to anyone else? Good grief Booker is slower than Taker when it comes to entrances. Thankfully Batista jumps him so we get to this faster. Wow…this is very boring. There’s just nothing at all out of the ordinary here as it’s just Batista beats on Booker but as he goes for the Bomb Booker hits the floor. Wow how exciting.

This was around the time where Smackdown was almost universally looked down on for being awful and I can certainly see how that’s the conception. It’s been all Batista so far meaning that the Booker comeback is coming very soon. Yep there it is. This is just predictable. JBL tries to make us believe that this is the big match of the show.

There’s a big difference between going on last and being the main event, although there really wasn’t a main event on this card anyway so maybe that’s a fair statement to make. There’s a very limited reaction from the crowd here as for one thing this is in Philadelphia or as it’s more commonly known Smark city #1 or #2 based on your thoughts on New York City.

Batista hits a Jackhammer to even less of a reaction. Sharmell interferes and thereby gives Booker the advantage. After some more generic back and forth stuff we discuss the idea that Teddy Long is trying to get the belt off Booker because he’s racist. Sadly, that’s by far the most entertaining aspect of this match. They keep changing the story about the rules of the title.

At one point it’s he doesn’t get a shot at Booker again, then it’s at the title ever. Make up your minds on the pointless stipulations guys. I’m about to fall asleep from this match as it’s really that bad. Actually it’s not bad, but just boring on so many levels. Batista is treating him like a jobber in ever sense of the word. To up the drama/excitement, which is to say actually have some, Batista hits a shoulder block from the top.

JBL says it’s anyone’s ball game, which explains why Booker has been getting his face kicked in for about five minutes. Booker hits a random Book End so he can use the Spinerooni. Batista pops up and hits the Batista Bomb but Booker grabs the bottom rope. Sharmell interferes (for some reason that word was hard to spell) and Booker misses a belt shot, and Batista nails him with the belt for the title. Wait what? That’s how they’re ending this?

He has Booker more or less dead and he doesn’t even use the freaking Batista Bomb? To even further the stupidity of this, he kicked Booker in the ribs to make him drop the title, so he was in perfect position for the Bomb. That was a stupid ending because it makes Batista look both heelish and weak. That was awful.

Rating: D-. This was AWFUL. It was boring, the ending was never in doubt, and yet they somehow managed to botch that too. Batista breathed life back into the title though as he and Taker would soon start their mega feud over the belt, but seriously, this was the best they could do? It was like a main event for the sake of saying they had a main event which is just stupid. I want my fifteen minutes back! Awful way to end the show, plain and simple.

Overall Rating: C-. Again that’s being generous. The first half of this show is great but after that the whole thing just falls apart at the seams. The second half of this show just doesn’t work at all for me. The two main Survivor Series matches were just not good, plain and simple.

The main event was garbage of the highest degree and the whole show just falls flat for me. There’s some ok stuff here but it really just isn’t working at all for me. The first few matches, mainly the Benoit/Chavo match were actually pretty good. The show just doesn’t feel big at all and it just doesn’t work. I’d avoid it if I were you.

 

 

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