Time for a gorgeous leggy blonde in Stacy Keibler.

Stacy Keibler got her start in 2000 as Nitro Girl Sky. She would become Miss Hancock, the sexy corporate character who wore incredibly short skirts and often took her hair down to dance. Sometimes she even got in the ring, including this match on Nitro, June 5, 2000.

Diamond Dallas Page/Miss Hancock vs. Kimberly Page/Mike Awesome

This is part of the selfish Kimberly phase where she hated Page for stealing the spotlight. For some reason Kimberly is shocked at Page being Hancock’s partner. Page even offers a little kick to Kimberly’s trunks before the girls get going. With a dance off of course. Hancock throws her glasses to Page but Kimberly shoves her down. Hancock is wrestling in heels and actually takes her down, only to have to slap Awesome.

It’s off to the guys with DDP nailing a discus lariat and getting two off a sunset flip. A low blow slows Page down and a running clothesline in the corner has him in even more trouble. That’s fine with Page who hammers away in the corner but eats an elbow to the jaw. It’s already table time but Mike leaves it on the floor so he can hit the Awesome Splash for two. Hancock gets on the table and pulls up the skirt, allowing Page to hit the Diamond Cutter for the pin.

Rating: D. Expect to hear this a lot, but Hancock was there for her looks and not much else. They let the guys do most of the work here like they should have and gave us the fan service with Hancock getting on the table. She was twenty years old here so what do you think she’s doing out there?

Hancock would be on PPV soon after this at Bash at the Beach 2000 in a wedding gown match. It might be better if you don’t know the backstory here.

Miss Hancock vs. Daffney

Naturally Stacy looks gorgeous. This wound up going to a pregnancy angle where there was supposed to be incest of some kind, I believe with Stacy being Ric’s daughter or him being the father of the baby or something like that. It never came through due to the lack of business but whatever. And yes that’s the Scream Queen of TNA. She’s also the better in ring competitor here. Stacy is 20 here. That’s hard to believe.

There’s wedding cake here too. Instead of trying to win they go for the cake. David is on his second interference so far. The referee gets pantsed and so does David. Now the girls chase each other around the ring and we try to shave Daffney’s head. Oh look it’s Crowbar to interfere even more. He takes his pants off to keep things even. We do get a funny line of “he’s choking David Flair with his pants!” And then Stacy just strips for the heck of it so that Daffney wins. Daffney hits her with cake.

Rating: N/A. Not wrestling, but the girls both looked good. This is what I get for watching WCW from 2000 though so I bring this on myself.

Next up is a hardcore match on Nitro, July 31, 2000.

Major Gunns vs. Stacy Keibler

This starts in the back with Gunns hitting her in the back with what looked like a bottle of water before they head into the bathroom. Gunns turns on the shower and Mark Madden is losing his mind. They fight over to catering with Hancock having a Twinkie shoved down her throat. There goes a carrot cake and it would be a bit better if they weren’t laughing at each other. They head to the ring where there’s a fight going on between Sgt. AWOL and David Flair. The guys go to the floor and there’s a table set up in the corner. Hancock throws her against the table and gets the pin off a slam. No rating for obvious reasons.

Here’s the PPV rematch at New Blood Rising in a Rip Off The Camouflage match.

Major Guns vs. Ms. Hancock

This is the ROTC match. Oh and there’s a mud pit. Guns’ music starts when she’s already in the ring. Stacey in a one piece camouflage dress with her hair pulled back…WOW. She was 20 at this point so brand new. They do some painfully bad stuff here and Guns kicks her in the stomach. Remember that. In a Rip off the Camouflage match, there are covers. Guns gets her top ripped off and Stacey (It’s Stacey Keibler in case that wasn’t sinking in. She’s Ms. Hancock) gets two.

This is mainly about how many upskirt shots can we get. Stacey gets her shorts ripped off and has more camo underneath it. Stacey shakes her hips and hits a horrible cross body from the middle rope. She does a nice nip up but gets kicked in the stomach again. The selling of these people is a far cry from Willy Lowman. Stacey misses another cross body and holds her stomach.

Guns gets her shorts ripped off to reveal more camouflage. Same thing happens to Stacey’s top. And they’re in the mud. Doesn’t that make it harder to see? Stacey starts holding her stomach and gets pinned. David Flair, Stacey’s fiancé, runs out and is worried about her. We get a stretcher and you can see it from here.

Rating: F. Yeah the girls were hot. The ending makes this all the stupider, and we’ll get to that in a bit. This was a freaking joke. When Debra is having better “matches” than you are, there’s a big problem

It was off to the WWF soon after this and the obvious match came first over who was hotter: Stacy Keibler and Torrie Wilson or Trish Stratus and Lita? What better way to find out than in a bra and panties match at InVasion?

Torrie Wilson/Stacy Keibler vs. Lita/Trish Stratus

Mick Foley appoints himself guest referee here again. This was smart if nothing else as it gave a person people actually care about to the match. Torrie and Stacy have weird entrance music. Lita was a legit big deal at the time and was the biggest women’s star more or less since Sable and Sunny. Seriously do you want commentary here? Trish was getting better every day at this point but still wasn’t that good yet.

Stacy gets her top ripped off. Lita has the same done. Trish vs. Torrie now and Trish loses her shirt somewhere. There goes all of Torrie’s clothes. Stacy gets her pants ripped off to end it. Mick picks up the clothes after the match which is funny.

Rating: N/A. Not a wrestling match, so there you go.

Time for some regular wrestling on Raw, August 6, 2001.

Jacqueline vs. Torrie Wilson/Stacy Keibler

This can’t go on long. The universe can’t withstand it. The two jump the one quickly but she fights back while shouting. I’m shocked at the range of her character development in this. Stacy is sent to the floor so Ivory returns, DDT Jackie to turn Alliance and Torrie gets the pin. If Ivory had actually been around for the last four months…..yeah I still wouldn’t care. Too short to rate, thank goodness.

And now some slightly better wrestling on Raw, October 1, 2001.

Tajiri/Torrie Wilson vs. Stacy Keibler/Tazz

Torrie is in a full body dress and Stacy is in leather shorts. Clearly they’re in fighting gear here. The guys start (thank goodness) and Tajiri hits the handspring elbow. He tries a kick but gets caught in the capture suplex and it’s off to Stacy vs. Torrie. Make this quick. As expected they’re terrible because THEY AREN’T WRESTLERS. Back to the guys with Tajiri firing off his strikes and hooking the Tarantula. Ivory runs out and DDTs Torrie so Stacy can pin her. Awful match and for the life of me is anyone supposed to care?

The girls would head to England at Rebellion 2001.

Mighty Molly/Stacy Keibler vs. Lita/Torrie Wilson

Trish is referee here due to reasons of hotness. It says a lot when Molly is the least attractive person in a match. Stacy in camo top and leather skirt works to put it mildly. Heyman says he and Lita wear the same style of underwear. Oh dear. Stacy and Torrie start us off. This is more or less about what you would expect. Trish can’t do much in the ring yet so Lita and Molly are going to be carrying this one.

Apparently over 50,000 tickets were sold i

n an hour for Mania 18. Molly comes in as we’re waiting for Lita to come in and clean house. Stacy does the leg choke to a pop. Lita gets knocked down and the heels double team for a bit. Make your own orgy jokes. Molly does what she can but Torrie is kind of uncarryable. There’s Lita and it’s over in less than a minute with the Twist of Fate to Molly.

Rating: D. The match sucked but the girls looked good. That’s all there is to this and that’s all there was ever going to be on this.

Let’s get some better workers in the ring on Raw, March 11, 2002.

Lita/Trish Stratus vs. Jazz/Stacy Keibler

I always loved how Lita looked in those tied off Wrestlemania baseball jerseys. Trish is just starting to get good and she has her signature look down now. Trish gets jumped and double teamed to start but let’s talk about Lucy! She has a broken leg apparently but HHH is on his way back. Jazz and Lita start things off with Jazz (the Women’s Champion) hitting a double chickenwing on Lita.

Off to Stacy for a corner leg choke but Lita realizes that she’s fighting Stacy freaking Keibler and slams her down. Off to Trish as everything breaks down. Jazz takes a double flapjack but Trish accidentally kicks Lita, giving Jazz a quick rollup win. Trish, Jazz and Lita would have a triple threat on Sunday for the title and for the life of me I have no idea why Trish didn’t win the title there but rather a month or so later.

Back to PPV at Judgment Day 2002.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Stacy Keibler

Each is going to have a Dudley in their corner for reasons of bad writing. Molly vs. Trish had been built up for months but they went with this instead because they picked the Dudley feud to be the better draw. Trish interrupted a swimsuit contest to set this up on Thursday. Well at least we get D-Von’s music. Aww man they hadn’t changed it yet so it’s just organ music. Dang it!

Naturally Bubba Ray Dudley is here. This was right before they were going to build him up as one of the top faces on Raw. Yes, that’s a true story. I’ll wait a bit while you regain consciousness. Stacy throws a kick that hits (read as her foot might have been two feet from Trish’s head, prompting a groan from the crowd) for two. Trish was just ok in the ring at this point and the awful Boston Crab shows that.

Stacy counters and Trish counters that into a rollup for two. This is quickly getting embarrassing, which says a lot as we’re maybe a minute into it. Trish hammers away and Stacy is sent to the floor where she has a fit. Batista comes in and drills Trish (lucky) with a slam that gets two for Stacy. Stacy chokes away and Trish fights back, getting a bulldog (minus springboard) to end this quickly. Terrible match but Stacy looked great.

Back to Raw with a slightly better idea on Raw, February 24, 2003.

Stacy Keibler/Test vs. Chris Jericho/Christian

Basic idea here: they’re in Toronto so Stacy comes out in a tied off Maple Leafs jersey and little white shorts. She’s also terrified of Test to continue a stupid angle, though he’s fighting to go after Jericho for accidentally hitting Stacy with a chair. Test slams Christian down but Jericho pulls Stacy off the apron to distract the big man. Christian is lifted in the air for a press slam but Jericho comes in with a chair for the DQ.

Next up, the biggest stage of them all at Wrestlemania XX.

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

This is an evening gown match and the annual Playboy promotional match. Sable and Torrie posed together and had a teased lesbian angle around this time. Sable wants to just wrestle without clothes but Jackie (Gayda, as in the attractive one) says no. Everyone else winds up in lingerie and Jackie is soon stripped too. This is exactly what you would expect: unfunny announcers, sexual spots, very little wrestling and very little complaining from most fans. Stacy kicks Torrie’s head off for two and it’s back to Jackie. We get the rolling over the referee spot and Torrie rolls up Jackie for the pin. This was what it was.

Another Raw match from October 4, 2004.

Stacy Keibler vs. Molly Holly

Non-title, likely because neither of them are champions. Trish, looking GREAT in a low cut top and jeans with some stomach showing, sits in on commentary. She shows us a clip from last week where Christy Hemme stripped off her clothes. Trish’s assessment, and again I quote, “Sl** sl** sl** sl**. Christy Hemme is a sl**.” I love the Bellas trying to sound all serious when you have the girls from this era ripping into each other with lines like that.

Even JR says Stacy has no chance here, albeit in JR-speak of course. Molly points a finger in Stacy’s face so she bites down on it. Again, these jokes are too easy at times. Keibler chokes in the corner and throws Molly down by her VERY short hair (she was shaved bald at Wrestlemania).

As this is going on, we get WWE Fantasy standings on the bottom of the screen. That’s a fascinating idea actually, but it would wind up being a huge mess. The camera stays on Trish, talking about how Christy “exudes sl**tiness.” Molly gets low bridged to the floor and Trish runs down to distract Stacy for no apparent reason, but Stacy is actually smart enough (I’m stunned too) to counter into a cradle for the pin.

We’ll wrap it up with a six person tag from Raw on August 8, 2005.

Stacy Keibler/Hurricane/Rosey vs. Victoria/Heartthrobs

The superheroes are Raw Tag Team Champions. If you don’t remember the Heartthrobs, I’m not surprised. Stacy is a superheroine here because she looks good in the outfit. Antonio Thomas starts with Hurricane but Romeo Roselli gets in a cheap clothesline from the apron to take over. Hurricane fights out of a chinlock and tags in Rosey to clean house. Everything breaks down and Stacy gets on the apron to shake her hips a bit for a distraction, earning a hard shot from Victoria. The Heartthrobs hit a double STO on Rosey for the fast pin.

Me? Use this as an excuse to look at Stacy Keibler for awhile? Perish the thought. I’m sure you can figure out the idea here: she’s there because she’s a 6’0 stunning blonde who can dance. I didn’t see a good match in the whole stretch but I have no idea why you would be looking for one in something about Stacy Keibler. She’s there for the view and there’s nothing wrong with that.

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We’ll wrap up the month with someone who is a bit odd. It’s Vampiro.

Vampiro has been around for a VERY long time, starting out as a teenager in 1984. We’ll have to skip most of his early career though due to it being mostly in the indies or around the world. First up is a match from the WAR promotion in Japan.

Vampiro vs. Koki Kitahara vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

This is a Scramble War, basically making it a round robin. In other words, it’s three straight singles matches with everyone getting to fight everyone. Vampiro starts with Koki and nails a quick spinebuster for two. Koki heads outside and gets taken down with an ugly looking flip dive off the top. Back in and Vampiro dives off the top and into the crowd, mostly missing Koki and hitting chairs. They go inside again with Vampiro hitting a top rope hurricanrana for two before walking into a release Rock Bottom. Koki almost drops him on a powerbomb attempt before hitting a Batista Bomb for the pin.

Next up is Bigelow vs. Koki with the name you’ve likely heard of sending Koki out to the floor. Back in and Koki grabs a chinlock to take Bigelow down. After a minute and a half in the hold, Bigelow fights up with a belly to back suplex but gets kicked in the ribs, followed by a DDT for two. Back to the chinlock but Bigelow suplexes out again and drops Koki with four straight clotheslines. A backsplash is enough to give Bam Bam the pin.

So now it’s Bigelow vs. Vampiro with Bam Bam hitting a quick powerslam for two. The top rope headbutt misses but Vampiro misses a guillotine legdrop. A sunset flip is countered by Bigelow sitting on Vampiro’s chest for two followed by the moonsault to give Bigelow his second pin of the match.

Rating: D+. This was pretty boring stuff with Bigelow being about two miles ahead of both other guys. I still don’t care for the Japanese no selling as Koki just stood there for three straight clotheslines and barely even staggered. Pop back up or something but don’t just get hit with it and yell. It looks stupid.

Vampiro would get his biggest American exposure in WCW in 1999/2000, but he would make an appearance on June 29, 1998’s Nitro as well.

El Vampiro vs. Brad Armstrong

Vampiro looks much different without his facepaint. Feeling out process to start with Armstrong taking him into the corner but Vampiro lands on his feet off a monkey flip. A clothesline puts Vampiro down but he comes back with a nice spinning kick to the jaw. Vampiro scores again with a spinwheel kick to the face and the Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) for the pin. Just a squash even though Vampiro wouldn’t be back until next March.

Vampiro would indeed come back in 1999 and become a bigger deal. He would feud with a variety of people, including Berlyn, who he met in a dog collar match at Mayhem 1999.

Vampiro vs. Berlyn

This is a collar match and Vampiro has Jerry Only of the band the Misfits with him. Berlyn is Alex Wright in something resembling a Neo-Nazi deal. It was rather weird to say the least. Dr. Death Steve Williams and Oklahoma, one of the creative writers making fun of JR. Immediately Berlyn hits the referee. Vampy kicks Berlyn and Wall hits Vampiro. A second referee comes down as Wall beats up Vampiro and Berlyn is on the floor.

Wall misses a big boot and gets crotched as Berlyn beats up Jerry Only. Oklahoma’s impression of JR is pretty good. I think the match has started now but I’m not sure. Oklahoma makes up a bunch of football stats for the three guys as Wall hits a HUGE chokeslam and is tied to Vampiro now. Berlyn yells at the Wall who takes the collar off.

I have no idea what the point of this is or if the bell ever rant in the first place. Oklahoma: “This Berlyn is tougher than Chinese algebra.” Wall walks out and Vampiro hits a release superplex. Only (not a wrestler) comes in for the double team and The Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) sets up a camel clutch with the chain for the pin.

Rating: N/A. The bell never rang so I don’t think this was an actual match. As for the match, I have no idea why it’s on the card as Vampy and Berlyn were ever chained together at any time. It wasn’t a good match or anything either as Wall was the one out there doing most of the work while a singer that most people probably didn’t know was beaten up. I don’t get the point of this at all.

Next up was a feud with Oklahoma (Ed Ferrara in an insulting Jim Ross impersonation) and Oklahoma’s muscle Steve Williams, to be settled at Starrcade 1999.

Vampiro vs. Steve Williams

The Misfits are Vampiro’s friends and Williams is Oklahoma’s heavy. Oklahoma is designed to do one thing and one thing only: make fun of Jim Ross. Vampiro gets five minutes against Oklahoma is he wins, but since Oklahoma has a mic on we have to hear him talk during the match. Vampiro climbs on top of the cage to start and dives down onto Williams before whipping him into the barricade. A kick to the face staggers Doc and we head inside for the first time.

Vampiro pounds on Williams as this is already going nowhere, much like the majority of the card tonight. Doc fires back with some chops, causing Oklahoma to shout CHOP CHOP CHOP because that’s FUNNY you see. Williams hits some shoulder blocks but misses a splash in the corner. A suplex puts Williams down but as Vampiro goes up, Doc pops up with a superplex, nearly breaking Vampiro’s neck in the process. That’s enough for the wrestling so here are the Misfits to distract Williams. Vampiro kicks Doc down but a second kick is caught in a suplex. Williams pounds away until he shoves the referee for the lame DQ.

Rating: D. So to be clear, Vampiro was supposed to be a big deal in WCW around this time, so let’s have him get destroyed by someone who hasn’t been around in years for the sake of pushing a feud to make fun of someone who isn’t even in this company anymore. Did I mention that 1999 was a really stupid year for WCW?

The five minute clock immediately starts despite Oklahoma being in the cage still.

Vampiro vs. Oklahoma

To further the stupidity, Williams beats Vampiro up for about two more minutes while Oklahoma spouts off stupid jokes from inside the cage. Oklahoma finally gets out and drops Vampiro again with a DDT before stomping away in the corner. Vampiro gets up so Oklahoma runs, only to have the Misfits throw him back in. After a few low blows from Oklahoma (yeah the announcer is hanging in there with a wrestler. Why are you surprised?), Vampiro hits a Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) for the pin. They weren’t even “fighting” for a minute.

Vampiro would feud with Billy Kidman next…..and I have no idea why. Here’s my explanation for the match at SuperBrawl 2000.

Recap of Kidman vs. Vampiro which is over respect or something but Vampy could never beat him. Ok so yes he could and this is the rubber match or something. It’s nice to see just a basic feud though. The Wall is involved somehow also. The package keeps going and I have no idea what they’re fighting over after about a minute of it. I think they’re friends but I have no idea for the most part. It’s WCW so were you really expecting a coherent storyline?

Billy Kidman vs. Vampiro

We start with some decent technical stuff until Kidman gets a rana to send Vampiro to the floor. Back in the ring Vampy gets a suplex off the top for two. Kidman is dropkicked into Torrie and now Billy is all fired up. Vampiro takes over the heel role here as Madden reaches a new low in bad jokes: “If Torries helps Kidman beat Vampiro is she Torrie the Vampiro Slayer?”

Back inside now and Vampy is in control with some suplexes. Kidman grabs a Sky High for two. Fameasser gets two for Vampiro. Madden says in a year this will be for the US Title and in two years for the world title. Oh that wacky Mark. Vampiro hits a double powerbomb with the second being a release version. They go up top and Kidman hits a reverse tornado DDT off the middle rope for the pin. That came out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and it’s one of the better matches of the night, primarily due to it actually getting some time. Vampiro was supposed to be heel but the fans liked him so WCW totally ignored that because they knew what the fans wanted more than the fans so they made him more and more evil until the fans gave up and the bookers got what they wanted.

We now hit the real feud for Vampiro as he went after Sting. You know, because they’re both freaky and supernatural and stuff and that’s enough for a Wrestlemania main event right? Here’s their biggest match from Great American Bash 2000. It’s a Human Torch match, and I think that’s all the description you need.

Vampiro vs. Sting

There’s a torch up by the video screen that you have to climb a ladder to get to. This isn’t going to end well is it? Vampiro lights the torch and has a gas can near it. There’s an ambulance and firefighters here for this. Russo must be loving this. Sting pulls the torch up above the screen as I mentioned before. Sting wants to know if Vampiro is afraid of heights because if Vampy wants Sting he has to come up here.

Vampiro yells a lot and we stand around a lot. Sting repels down and it’s time for the actual match to start. They fight in the ring as I have a feeling this is going to end badly. Spinwheel kick takes Sting down so Sting comes back even faster with a powerslam and a bunch of clotheslines. Stinger splash misses in the corner so Vampiro pours gasoline on Sting.

As always, in a huge arena, the announcers can smell the fuel many feet away. They fight up the ramp and climb up the structure with Sting getting kicked off. The announcers say that’s it so Vampiro keeps climbing. Sting climbs up anyway and there go the lights as we attempt to conceal the obvious switch that is coming up. They “fight” on top of the screen and even with the camera where it is you can barely see anything.

And them Vampy grabs the torch and lights Sting on fire. Sting dives off the screen to a crash pad and Vampiro wins. He must have really been burned badly because between falling down up there and the jump he lost about 3 inches of hair and shrunk a good 4 inches. That’s some powerful fire.

Rating: N/A. Yeah this wasn’t wrestling. This is one of those matches that is so stupid it defies logic. This is what I recommend doing in this situation: picture the booker/writer pitching this idea to say Jack Brisco, Lou Thesz and Harley Race. If the reaction is either a blank stare, massive amounts of angry cursing or a right cross, IT’S NOT A GOOD FREAKING IDEA!

Since it’s WCW, Vampiro would somehow hook up with Great Muta in the latter part of the year as part of the Dark Carnival stable. At New Blood Rising, they would receive a Tag Team Title shot in Muta’s second match of the night and the second Tag Team Title match of the night, with the first being a four team tag match with three or four guest referees.

Tag Titles: Kronik vs. Dark Carnival

You know there’s going to be a screwjob. You just know it. Tony points out that this wasn’t promoted or anything, thereby showing how freaking stupid this was. Also Kronik looks stupid by putting the belts up here and knowing that there’s a title match the next night on Nitro. What was the appeal of Vampiro? I liked him when I was 12 but now I just don’t get it.

Muta stands in the middle of the apron for a bit for no apparent reason. The challengers kick a lot. Yeah I’m stunned too. Muta’s handspring elbow gets caught in a full nelson slam. Tony is just picking the thinking of this show apart by just doing basic commentary. Madden makes pot jokes as I wonder what the point was to having then do a weird kind of stoner thing.

Vampiro gets cheered and he tries to calm them down, making them cheer more. Crowd is fairly dead here. Clark gets the lukewarm tag and hits the Meltdown on Vampiro. There’s the mist to the referee of course and let’s cue the run-in. Muta almost take High Time….and it’s the Harris Brothers. Oh this doesn’t go well. They hit their move on Clark and a moonsault ends it. They would lose to the Filthy Animals the next night.

Rating: F+. Somehow this was a breath of fresh air for the show. They actually had about 8 minutes of horrible wrestling before the screwjob ending. The match being awful as an upgrade is a sign that sums up this entire show and era. Let’s just get to the end of this.

We’ll wrap up WCW with Halloween Havoc 2000 in another match with no real story behind it.

Vampiro vs. Mike Awesome

It’s That 70s Guy here which is yet another instance where WCW blows what could have been someone special. This is Vampiro’s last match with WCW so who do you think wins it? Vampiro has been extra evil or something lately and hates Awesome just because. Awesome has some title shot coming and Vampiro wants it on the line. Awesome, having nothing to gain, says sure.

Big plancha to the floor by Mike to half kill Vampiro. Dang he was great back in the day. Naturally since he was young and good he was made into a comedy character. We head into the crowd now and it’s all Awesome. A fan jumps Awesome and he’s in trouble people that need to drink to get through a show this bad.

Vampiro grabs a chair for both guys and we have a duel. Just wasting time now as not a lot is going on. Vampiro goes for a top rope belly to belly but he more or less just drops Awesome, letting him fly through the air and do all of the work, making it look bad. Awesome busts out a table which makes this at least the second match with them in it. Since they were used earlier, not a lot of people care here.

Stevie wants to know why this is legal and gets no answer. Stevie freaking Ray is the voice of reason on this show. The same Stevie Ray that had a segment called Suckas Gots To Know. Anyway Vampiro hits his finisher and looks for more weapons because he’s an idiot. Madden gets a Ghostbusters line in to make this a bit easier. Sitout Awesome Bomb on the floor as this is now falls count anywhere I guess.

Back in the ring as Vampiro takes an Awesome Bomb from the top rope for the academic pin. In other words the table means absolutely nothing as it wasn’t used at all. And of course we have a solid enough match like that and we get That 70s Guy music and go to General Rection. Nothing wrong with that is there?

Rating: C-. Not bad here and very physical. Awesome would change gimmicks eventually and get back to just being a tough guy but it was too late. Vampiro is a guy I never got at all and to this day I still don’t. This was ok though as Awesome just beat the crap out of him. The rules made no sense but that’s WCW for you.

Vampiro would head to the mess that was the XWF and have a match on November 13, 2001.

Vampiro vs. Curt Hennig

Hennig has an agent by the name of Bobby Heenan, who does Curt’s entrance as only he could. Vampiro hits a quick kick to the chest to start and follows Hennig into the corner with a clothesline. Heenan talks to his client on the floor and it’s Curt coming back with knee lifts and chops in the ring. The neck snap keeps Vampiro in trouble but he comes back with a belly to back suplex and a top rope spinwheel kick for two. Heenan loads up a foreign object but Piper is out maybe half a second later to take it away and blast Hennig. The Nail in the Coffin ends Hennig in less than three minutes.

Vampiro would bounce around the indies for several years before popping up as one of the bigger names in Wrestling Society X. He would face 6-Pac on the second episode for the WSX Title.

WSX Title: Vampiro vs. 6-Pac

There’s a casket at ringside for no apparent reason. Feeling out process to start until Vampiro kicks him down for two. Pac comes back with a sitout powerbomb and a Bronco Buster but the second attempt is caught by choking. A chokeslam sets up a corkscrew dive from Vampiro but he only hits mat. Pac sends him outside for a big flip dive but gets crotched against the post to put him back down.

We get our first table less than three and a half minutes into the match and a tornado DDT drives Vampiro through the wood. Apparently this is falls count anywhere but Pac takes him back inside for an X Factor and two. Pac loads up another X Factor onto the coffin but Vampiro counters into a tombstone into the coffin….which explodes, giving Vampiro the pin.

Rating: D. The coffin exploded. I think that sums up my thoughts on the match pretty well. The wrestling wasn’t horrible but there wasn’t enough of it to make a good match. This was your usual EXTREME stuff with needless tables and a stupid ending, but that was kind of the point of this organization. Are you surprised it lasted ten episodes?

After several years wrestling in Italy, Vampiro would come back to Mexico to wrestle at AAA’s TripleMania XVIII.

Cibernetico/Abyss vs. El Zorro/Vampiro

Cibernetico is one of the top faces in the company (or was at this point). Abyss and Vampiro I think you know. El Zorro is a heel and part of the Foreign Legion and after this show would win the world title. This is a hardcore match. Despite being a foreigner Abyss isn’t part of the Foreign Legion for some reason.

Cibernetico’s entrance is in a word, epic. I think he’s supposed to be a cyborg or something. He’s clearly one of the most popular people in the company. This is that odd kind of hardcore where you have to tag in and out. Yeah I know just go with it. Cibernetico and Zorro start us off.

Cibernetico’s tights say Main Man. At least there isn’t a target saying “goes here” underneath it. The partners just come in for no apparent reason with Abyss going off on Vampiro. This is during Abyss-A-Mania but it doesn’t seem to be that bad at this point. Zorro has a kendo stick as the announcers argue some more. Zorro beats on Cibernetico with a chair in the ring while the other guys are out on the floor.

Vampiro sets up a table but can’t get a moonsault through it. Abyss can’t get his powerbomb through it either so it all evens out. Cibernetico hits the floor and now it’s turning into a regular hardcore match. Vampiro and Konnan point at each other for some reason but the wasted time lets Abyss get his hands on Vampiro. Abyss is thrown at the table which collapses but doesn’t break.

Konnan gets in Vampiro’s face again for no apparent reason. Everyone but Abyss is in the ring now and it’s a 2-1 beatdown. I’m not sure what the deal is with two referees. Maybe Gorilla Monsoon is secretly commissioner here or something. Cibernetico dumps Vampiro (to be with Abyss I guess) but has a kendo stick tossed into his leg.

Abyss is back in now but can’t get a double chokeslam. He settles for a double clothesline instead and down goes the Foreign Legion. Abyss……moves……very……very……slowly. The Foreign Legion hits the ring, in the form of Christopher Daniels, Kozlov, Chessman, Nosawa (Japanese guy) and Hernandez. Cibernetico is like screw that and beats them up on his own.

Zorro takes him down and hammers away with the kendo stick. Cue Abyss who hits Shock Treatment and Zorro is more or less dead. Hernandez misses a chair shot and hits Vampiro by mistake. Konnan grabs Vampiro and throws powder in his face. A chokeslam from Cibernetico ends this.

Rating: C+. Not bad here. They got rid of the tagging after about a second and things got a lot better. Decent little match here and the Foreign Legion losing is a good thing for a change tonight. Cibernetico is a guy that it’s easy to get behind so I can see why he’s one of the most popular there. Decent match all around but a bit rushed.

One final match, from the alleged wrestling organization run by the Insane Clown Posse. From Bloodymania V.

JCW World Title: Corporal Robinson vs. Vampiro

Robinson is defending if that wasn’t clear. They shake hands to start and finally lock up. Before anything can get going, here’s Evil Dead for no apparent reason. He gets in the ring and drills the referee as the other two guys get in each others’ faces. Evil Dead DDTs both guys and leaves. This is happening…..why exactly?

Robinson and Vampiro slug it out from their knees which takes a good while. Robinson shoulders him down but gets kicked in the face a second later to give Vampiro control again. Robinson comes back again and tries his finisher called Boot Camp (cobra clutch legsweep) but Vampiro escapes. A neckbreaker gets two for the champion as does a superkick from Vampiro. Vampiro’s chokeslam is broken up and apparently it’s almost 5:00am. Good grief.

A tornado DDT gets two for Robinson as they’re in the problem most indy matches have: they have no idea how to tell a story in the ring and it’s just a string of moves with nothing between them. Vampiro flips off the fans to go heel I guess, and walks into a dragon screw leg whip for his efforts. Robinson puts on a quick leglock but Vamp gets to a rope. The Corporal brings in a chair but Vampiro kicks his knee out just in time.

Vampiro loads up something off the top but gets pulled down into a Tree of Woe. We get the Tommy Dreamer running dropkick into the chair into the guy in the Tree of Woe’s face for two. Vampiro comes back with a kind of Van Daminator and Robinson is busted open. It’s table time now because what would a main event be without one of those? Off to a chinlock by Vampiro so he can bite the cut a bit.

The table is set up in the corner and Vampiro goes after the cut on Robinson’s head. Robinson is sent face first into the chair but Vampiro walks around too much and gets suplexed down for two. Robinson goes up but misses a legdrop to bring things to a halt again. Chokeslam from Vampiro gets two, followed by a Robinson powerbomb and Boot Camp for the pin to retain. The table was never used.

Rating: C-. This went WAY too long which brings it down a bit. Somehow this match was almost twenty minutes long and about four minutes of that was spent on laying around. I have no idea what the point of Evil Dead was but it came and went and didn’t change anything. Not a terrible match or anything and it was fine for a main event on a show of this caliber.

Vampiro is a guy that has wrestled around the world and I liked him as a kid, but now I really don’t see him as anything special. He wrestles the indy style which I can’t stand and could have been replaced by any of a few dozen other wrestlers. There are far worse guys out there, but he’s just nothing I care to watch most of the time.

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Today is Lance Storm. And I’m being totally serious.

Storm got started in Canada and went over to Japan for Wrestling Association R. This led to him getting a job in Smoky Mountain Wrestling as part of the Thrillseekers with his fellow wrestling school graduate Chris Jericho. This is a well known match of theirs from SMW Night of Legends 1994.

Heavenly Bodies vs. Thrillseekers

The Bodies (Jimmy Del Ray and Tom Pritchard) have Jim Cornette with them and Jericho is coming in with a badly broken arm as well. How did he break it you ask? Allegedly by doing a shooting star press into Jim Cornette’s pool. What else would you expect? The Thrillseekers seemingly come in driving a racecar, but the car is a ruse and they’re in the ring to clean house early on. Stereo superkicks have the Bodies in trouble and a double clothesline put them on the floor. Storm dives on both Bodies and the Thrillseekers rule the ring. Jericho’s arm isn’t in a cast so that he could be cleared to wrestle tonight.

He backdrops Tom down to officially start and Del Ray takes one as well. The Bodies bail to the outside again and it’s off to Storm for the first time. Lance kicks both Bodies down with ease and they head outside for the third time in less than five minutes. Tom comes in and takes Storm down before Del Ray comes in without a tag. That’s fine with Storm as he armdrags both guys down at the same time before Jericho comes back in for another double superkick, putting the Bodies outside yet again.

Back in and Storm tries to fight off both guys but gets tripped up by Del Ray, allowing Pritchard to take over with a bulldog. Tom backflips Jimmy onto Storm for two and a release northern lights suplex puts him down again. Del Ray lifts Pritchard up into a legdrop as we take a commercial break. Back with Storm’s back being double teamed and Del Ray getting two off a clothesline. Pritchard comes in again with a suplex for two of his own.

Tom tries to drop backwards with an elbow but Storm is out of the way and makes the hot tag to Jericho. Chris cleans house with one arm but Pritchard trips him up from the floor and posts him hard. Jericho is busted open and it’s a GUSHER. There’s a pool of blood on the floor less than 20 seconds later so Tom posts him again.

Back in and Jimmy rips at the cut like a good villain should and even Cornette gets in a shot of his own. Jericho is helpless here and the referee is thinking about stopping it. Del Ray pounds in right hands to the cut but can only get two. Pritchard drives a knee into the cut for two more as Jericho is just covered in blood. The referee (covered in blood as well from checking Jericho) finally stops it but Jericho literally begs to keep it going. For once the referee actually listens and the match restarts and Storm hits a quick spinwheel kick to give Jericho the pin.

Rating: B+. The wrestling was good but a lot of this is for the blood. That was AWESOME and one of the worst looking cuts you’ll ever see. Jericho looked like a star here and in what was kind of a stroke of luck, would leave SMW after this match to go to Japan full time. It’s a great way to go out as well as he looked great. This is one of the more famous matches from SMW and it’s easy to see why as that blood was INSANE. Seriously, if you like bloodshed, go find this match.

After some time in Japan it was off to ECW. One of his first major shows there was their first pay per view, Barely Legal. His original opponent was Chris Candido but an injury forced a replacement.

Rob Van Dam vs. Lance Storm

So Van Dam is the replacement? That’s a heck of a sub. He looks weird without his gloves on. Styles is really getting on my nerves. You don’t have to call every single move. This is television, not radio. We can see what’s going on and contrary to popular belief, some of us know a few wrestling move names. The dynamic here is completely different that it was before and maybe it’s due to the familiarity of the guys in there but this feels like a far higher quality match.

The finger point thing gets zero response. And now we get to the reason why I couldn’t get into ECW. We have a solid match going here between two guys that are certainly talented enough to be out there on their own and deliver a good match. So what does Van Dam do? He goes and gets a chair. Yeah the pelting of it at Storm looked and sounded great, but seriously, why was it needed?

One thing ECW never was able to understand was the idea of less being more at times, which would have certainly been the case here. Van Dam is called a sell out here as he was actually doing some stuff in the WWF around this time and if you’re in ECW that means you might as well be a demon or something. Ok I know I criticized the chair but the chair surf thing has always been something I’ve loved.

Storm kicks out of the frog splash that I guess was only four stars. I love how a move can gain the ability to win a match as the guy doing it goes higher up on the card. Shawn Michaels used the superkick for years and it was just a run of the mill move. God bless kayfabe and star power I suppose. In a little sequence that I like, Van Dam misses a spin kick so Storm does the same move and hits it.

I guess he got serious all of a sudden after getting his teeth kicked in for awhile. For the third time in two matches, we see a handspring move. People, watch the match in the back please. It looks freaking stupid otherwise. We do the same thing as before (again) as Storm gets what would become the Canadian Mapleleaf on Van Dam but it’s just a standard move at this point.

The Van Daminator misses and Storm gets the chair for the weakest looking chair shot I’ve ever seen. The fans boo the heck out of it so if nothing else they’re consistent. Van Dam goes for a springboard move and botches the heck out of it (to be fair it was a difficult move) and you know what chant is coming. Storm somehow has a weaker chair shot the second time around.

Naturally this gets more booing, and the wrestling fan in me is shaking his head. Is it really that bad of a thing that Storm is a very good wrestler and doesn’t want to use weapons? Seriously, it’s not the end of the world. That right there is why it never appealed to the masses. Can you imagine someone that grew up on Flair and Anderson being sold on this? Anyway, the Van Daminator and a standing moonsault end this.

Rating: B-. If not for the completely unneeded chair, this would be a much higher rating. These two had a very solid match and it worked very well I thought. It was completely different from the first match and made me have a much better feeling about the show. The first match was a highlight reel match, but there was a flow here, although the ending could have been far better.

Storm would become a heel and join the Triple Threat stable as a prospect. This led to him winning the Tag Team Titles with full member Chris Candido, even though they loathed each other. Here’s a match between them while they were still champions at Cyberslam 1998.

Lance Storm vs. Chris Candido

They’re tag champions and they HATE each other. For no apparent reason Candido does a full entrance here. All Storm to start and a baseball slide puts Chris in the fans. Big plancha takes Candido out further. DOWN GOES SIGN GUY!!! The fans of course like Sunny more than anyone else and can you blame them? Candido fires off some chops to get some WOOs going.

Storm misses Candido and almost hits his face on the buckle. Close enough I guess as he sells it anyway. Delayed vertical is countered but Candido gets a neckbreaker for no cover. He’d rather pose a bit instead. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long. Storm tries to make his comeback but gets caught in a release powerslam. Storm comes back with chops as there are fans dressed as Bigelow and Sabu.

Big spinwheel kick puts Chris down again as does a dropkick which gets two. Storm misses a jump though and gets crotched on the top. Belly to back superplex gets two for Candido. Northern lights suplex gets two. Powerbomb doesn’t work and Storm gets a kick to take over. Candido fires off a super rana but he delays in covering again so it’s only two. They go the top again and Storm fights back and hits the Blonde Bombshell (top rope powerbomb and Candido’s finisher) for the pin.

Rating: C. Eh not bad and WAY better than anything else tonight, but just kind of there. These two feuded forever and had much better matches but this was ok. I’d rather have just looked at Sunny for the ten minutes they had for the match though. Not much and the whole Candido/Sunny issues went nowhere.

And a title defense from Wrestlepalooza 1998.

ECW Tag Titles: Hardcore Chair Swinging Freaks vs. Chris Candido/Lance Storm

They still hate each other and even though they don’t get along and fight each other, they manage to beat every team in the company as they do it. Don’t you just love Heyman’s brilliance? Mind you the challengers were in the arena to make their challenge yet the champions are here first. In a funny spot, they argue over who gets top billing. Oh I get it now: the champions came to the ring and were introduced before they actually accepted the challenge. Is Heyman even thinking?

The Freaks are Axl Rotten and Balls Mahoney in case you were wondering. To my surprise we start with a wrestling sequence. Something tells me this isn’t going to last long. Good night Balls Mahoney is worthless. Rotten is trying to wrestle which works ok but it’s hard to take a guy who wrestles for a team called the Hardcore Chair Swingin Freaks seriously. They do a standard tag match here and it’s really not that bad. I’m very surprised. Rotten throws chops and the fans WOO.

They start a BRING IN FLAIR chant and my head begins to hurt. First off, just no. Second off, isn’t that exactly what ECW is supposed to be against? Third of all, I love how they just assume Heyman can afford that. The fans were stupid at times and were dragged around by Heyman by their noses. It’s really pathetic at times. Sunny shows up and the champions fight over Storm saving her. “Hey! You keep your hands off my fiancé! If she dies who cares??? YOU JUST STAY AWAY!”

And now we get to the flat out stupid part of the match. Balls hits his finisher. There’s no one around. They should win the titles. He goes to get a chair. That’s almost understandable I guess. Now let’s have the stupid part. He turns around with the chair in his hand and Storm jumps up with a springboard to come at Mahoney.

What does he do you ask? Does he throw the chair at Storm? Does he, oh I don’t know, MOVE? Nope. He puts the chair in front of his face so Storm can kick it into Balls’ head. That was just pathetic looking. On and Candido hits Storm with the chair so he can get the pin and they fight back to the locker room. This has NEVER been done before!

Rating: C+. Other than the freaking idiotic stuff at the end, this was ok. The key thing: for the most part they kept things toned down and had a wrestling match. Since Barely Legal they’ve toned the violence down a good bit and it’s been helping a lot. This was ok and would have been a lot better had the ending not sucked as much.

After the team finally split up, Storm would eventually hook up with Justin Credible as the Impact Players. They would challenge Tommy Dreamer and Raven for the Tag Team Titles at Guilty As Charged 2000.

Tag Titles: Impact Players vs. Raven/Tommy Dreamer

The Players come out separately for no apparent reason. To be fair the champions do too. Apparently the Impact Players are trying to take over the company so Dreamer and Raven are fighting for ECW. Sure why not. Raven is RIDICULOUSLY over. They can’t get in the ring as the Impact Players (I feel like I’m doing OCW again) fight them off. We hit the floor because that makes sense to give up your advantage like that.

The champions throw the other guys off the stage as they’re working together. Hey we go to an actual tag sequence. I’m stunned. Ok to be fair ECW matches usually do go to rules after the insanity dies down. Dreamer is both busted up and in trouble as we HIT THE CHINLOCK! It’s fun seeing these guys actually wrestle for a change rather than just having mindless brawls.

If nothing else we get to look at some rather hot women during this with Francine and Dawn Marie. Storm misses the second best superkick in wrestling and Dreamer gets the hot tag. Well kind of as he hits the hand but no one calls it. The referee realizes they kind of blew the spot and just lets it go I guess. Raven hits his drop toehold. I’ve always liked how simple yet awesome that was.

And there’s the Tombstone but surprisingly it only gets two. I would have bet on that being the ending. Storm sets up a table and then like an IDIOT stands in front of it. As he goes through it, the only thing I can think of is YOU FREAKING DESERVE IT. The girls go at it and it’s nothing special. There’s your Bronco Buster which still is freaking stupid. Raven takes a Singapore cane shot for Francine but walks into That’s Incredible for the pin.

Rating: C-. Give this more wrestling and a bit more time and this can be pretty good. This was just too short on wrestling and too little Raven who is the best guy in here not named Storm. This was a decent enough match though but it just needed more time to make it a good bit better.

Like almost all good teams though, they would eventually split. Credible would win the World Title and Storm would challenge him at Hardcore Heaven 2000. It was supposed to have Tommy Dreamer as well but he was too injured stepped aside.

ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Lance Storm

So basically Dreamer is busted up like a bad steak but is going to fight anyway. Francine turned on Dreamer and cost him the title at Cyberslam which was the show where Dreamer won the title from Taz in the first place. Justin says that if anyone other than Storm comes out he’ll throw the belt in the trash. Why not it’s not like it means anything. Dreamer’s music hits and here he is.

You know for a guy that was allegedly bleeding to death about two and a half hours ago he looks pretty good. Heyman comes out to talk some sense into him and here’s Storm and Dawn Marie. Ok so it’s just one on one and Dreamer gets the winner at Heatwave. What the heck ever. Let’s just ever this over with. Heyman keeps screaming that Justin has the company by the balls. That’s 8 times he’s said it now.

Dreamer shakes Lance’s hand, which is good since I think this is Lance’s last night as he left for WCW since he never got paid or anything like that. I actually remember this match which is a rarity for me and the original ECW. Storm hits him, Justin runs. Then we do that about 5 more times. Hey we’re getting some contact that lasts more than a second! Ah never mind he’s running again.

The cane comes into play and down goes Storm. Storm appears to be bleeding. Hey look it’s a table, because we’ve only used those in like 5 matches so far tonight. We chop it out for a bit and that goes nowhere. The fans want Dreamer. Psh, why would you want him? He’s only an advertised main event contender here. Why would you want him? Storm hits a decent rana.

This guy is just flat out talented. Joey talks about how they managed to keep Credible from destroying the ECW Title’s lineage. Yeah I’m sure the whole WCW wrestler losing to a WWF wrestler in an ECW ring and then the ECW Title being on Raw and Smackdown didn’t do anything close to that. Superkick (see what I meant earlier?) by Credible gets two.

Credible actually hits a decent cross body off the top, showing he can actually do a basic move properly. This is a major step for him I tell you! He then goes through a table, because that’s just how we roll around here. Storm hooks his finisher, the single leg Boston crab and it’s catfight time. Was there ever a point to these things? Dawn takes a Tombstone and nothing of note is happening.

Tombstone on Storm of course gets two. And now we just slug it out. Credible goes for a swinging DDT which he of course, messes up. The second tombstone ends it and it was just completely uninteresting as it just happened for the pin. And here’s Dreamer to beat up both Credible and Francine. Ok then.

Rating: D+. This just felt like another match. This would have been great on a big TV show or something like that, but this just didn’t do it for me. It’s ok, but for one thing does anyone buy Justin as world champion? I never did, and I didn’t buy Storm as a legitimate challenger. This just went nowhere at all and the ending was pretty boring too. Weak ending.

Due to Heyman barely being able to pay anyone, it was soon off to WCW. Storm would immediately be given a big push where he would win three midcard titles in his first month. Here’s US Champion Storm vs. Hardcore Champion Big Vito from July 24, 2000 on Nitro.

US Title/Hardcore Title: Big Vito vs. Lance Storm

Storm jumps him to start but gets slammed down as well as clotheslined. Vito pounds him into the corner but Storm comes back with a leg lariat to take over. That gets him nowhere as Vito pounds him into the corner and pulls out some weapons. A traffic cone is knocked into Storm’s testicles and it’s table time.

Vito takes too long though and Storm superplexes him down. An O’Connor Roll gets two for Storm as does a small package. Vito snaps off an overhead belly to belly suplex but the top rope elbow only gets two. An Impaler puts Storm down for another two and they trade superkicks. Storm throws on the Mapleleaf (half crab) and wins the Hardcore Title.

Rating: D+. This was part of the Storm super push where he won three titles in three weeks and just barely lost the world title match in the fourth week. Vito was a journeyman who did about the same thing no matter where he went. This was decent enough, but I’m not sure why you would open a show with it.

Storm would form Team Canada as a midcard stable. They would feud with the Filthy Animals and face them in a six man tag at Sin.

Team Canada vs. Filthy Animals

Team Canada is Elix Skipper, Mike Awesome (Yes he made a heel turn since the last show) and Lance Storm. The Animals are Konnan, Mysterio and Kidman. This is a Penalty Box match where the guest referee, Jim Duggan, can throw the people in a penalty box if they break a rule. The Canadians come out in a bus for no apparent reason. Oh and Duggan isn’t part of Team Canada anymore, I guess due to the beatdown last month.

Storm talks about Duggan being in the Animals’ back pocket which doesn’t sit well with the Hall of Famer. There’s no time limit given on the penalties so it’s a bit complicated. Duggan looks old. This is an old WCCW stronghold so you can tell they’re running out of ideas. Storm vs. Mysterio to start. Rey starts out flying around as it’s weird to see Storm being the bigger and stronger of the two.

Skipper and Awesome interfere a bit and are sent to the box almost immediately. Apparently it’s 3-1 for one minute. Tony makes a bunch of hockey references which most American fans won’t care about. Konnan powerbombs Rey onto Storm as the box is emptied out. Good thing the advantage meant nothing at all. Rey gets a falling splash and it’s off to Kidman.

Kidman vs. Skipper now as Awesome is sent into the box again. Make that Storm as well. Why do I have a feeling that this is going to be the norm for this match? Konnan throws on some hold as they keep tagging in and out. The announcers are making it sound like the only chance the Animals have is when the Canadians are in the box. Back to full strength as Skipper easily out moves Konnan.

Matrix move is easily blocked by simply grabbing a reverse DDT out of it. The Canadians don’t like to tag for some reason. Off to Awesome and I’ll bet money on Storm and Skipper being sent to the box within a minute. Backbreaker gets two for Awesome. Major Gunns and Tygress argue on the floor and Duggan yells at them. Rey tries to cheat but is sent to the box for two minutes as is Kidman.

Powerslam by Awesome gets two. Tygress sprays Gunns with water or oil or something and they go at it. Only Gunns goes to the box though. Ah there goes Tygress too. Skipper drops a springboard leg drop on Konnan as we hit the chinlock. Yes because with a 3-1 advantage it’s the right idea to put a chinlock on. Awesome comes off the top with a clothesline as he comes in.

The box empties out as this is getting rather stupid. Off to Storm who walks into an X-Factor but Konnan is spent from doing two moves so he takes a little nap. Off to Kidman who comes in on fire. Well not literally but you get the concept. We hit the floor and everything breaks down.

Awesome has scissors and tries to give Kidman a haircut for no apparent reason and is sent to the box. Bronco Buster to Storm from both Rey and Tygress. She goes to the box as Storm gets a forearm to Rey, only to get caught in the ropes and hit by a leg drop. Off to Kidman who gets the Unprettier for two. The box empties though and Awesome hits an Awesome Bomb to Rey as Storm puts the Maple Leaf on Kidman for the tap out.

Rating: D+. Total and complete mess here with the rules seemingly added on for the sake of adding rules on. It didn’t help the match or anything but they did it anyway. Not much of a match as it was just a six man with extended faces/heels in peril spots. This feud went on more or less until the end of the company.

Here’s one more WCW match, from the final Nitro for the Tag Team Titles.

Tag Titles: Lance Storm/Mike Awesome vs. Chuck Palumbo/Sean O’Haire

The more famous guys are challenging. Team Canada won a non-title match last week to get this. See, why is logic like that so complicated? That’s a basic story and it gives perfect justification as to why we are where we are here. After a quick break, Vince is with Trish again and Cole interrupts them. He says a bunch of WCW related people are worried and Vince threatens to fire Cole. PLEASE DO IT VINCE!

Storm of course starts with technical stuff. Tony almost says World Tag Titles but has to shift to WCW Tag Titles. Slingshot splash by Awesome for two. Hot tag to O’Haire and he beats the crap out of Awesome, hitting his weird reverse Samoan Drop. I could watch Lance Storm throw superkicks all day. Palumbo hits his Jungle (super) kick and the Shawnton Bomb ends it.

Rating: C-. I always liked all four of these guys so I was a fan of this feud. The match of course was really short so it’s kind of hard to grade, but at the same time this was ok I guess. It put the champions over and didn’t give us a title change for the sake of a title change, so I can’t really complain about that at all. Decent match but again nothing great at all.

It was soon off to the WWF in the Invasion. Storm would be the first WCW name to appear on WWF programming in a run-in at Raw in Calgary. A few weeks later he was challenging for the Intercontinental Title.

Intercontinental Title: Lance Storm vs. Albert

Albert rams him into the corner to start and Lance is in trouble. Storm sends him to the floor but his plancha is caught in a slam. Albert is rammed into the post and Storm takes over. Back in Albert military presses Storm and follows with a splash for two. Bicycle kick looks to set up the Baldo Bomb but Mike Awesome gets the referee. That allows Hugh Morrus to hit Albert with the belt. A superkick gives Storm the title in a short match. Storm got a BIG pop for winning the title.

We’ll jump ahead nearly a year to Vengeance 2002. Storm is part of the Un-Americans with Christian and is challenging the new Tag Team Champions Edge and….Hulk Hogan?

Tag Titles: Lance Storm/Christian vs. Hulk Hogan/Edge

This isn’t going to be fun is it? I think the tag titles went on both brands at the time but I’m not sure. Yeah they did. Ross then explains that Toronto is in Canada. Ok then. It’s also the Hendrix music for Hogan. Yes let’s pay a commercial artist for music when WE OWN THE MOST FAMOUS SONG IN WRESTLING HISTORY! He follows that up by TWICE, yes TWICE saying that Hogan fought Warrior at Mania 3. WOW.

I knew that when I was 4 years old. Hogan vs. Christian starts. That’s a weird thing to see: Hogan fighting a guy that’s young and talented that hasn’t been elevated up yet. Dang how out of place does Hogan look here? If you get another talented guy in there, you could have a pretty interesting tag match. Or like this: Edge vs. Lance Storm. That sounds perfectly entertaining. This however, just isn’t interesting. Also, within about two months, Hogan has won the tag and world titles.

He’s like what, 50 at this point? Is there a reason to give him such title runs here? I can almost guarantee you that Edge will get pinned here if they lose the belts. Naturally Edge is the one getting beaten down. Hogan comes in and Christian goes for that diving reverse DDT of his. Hogan botches the HECK out of it. You know, because it’s such a hard move to take isn’t it? Leg drop to Christian but Storm makes the save.

Hogan doesn’t take the superkick from Storm right either. Edge comes in to clean house while Hogan looks for a pudding pack or something. And there goes the referee. Test runs down to beat up Hogan and Edge. Storm covers Edge for only two. Wow that surprised me. Rikishi of all people comes down to beat up Test. Sure why not?

Christian distracts the referee and JERICHO comes out to nail Edge with a title belt for the ending. Wow it only took four guys to get the belt off of Hogan and he didn’t even get pinned. That might be a new record low for Hogan. Naturally, this title that Hogan was so proud of was never mentioned again and he never went after it again.

Rating: D. Just bad and Hogan looked awful out there. Four guys to get the title off of Hogan. He botches a ton of spots, and he doesn’t even let Storm or Christian get to say they pinned Hogan. Yeah, this is definitely about the young guys. Can’t you see that? Brother?

Another jump ahead, but this one is only about nine months. He’s in yet another tag team, this time with Chief Morely (Val Venis). This is the match that was cut off of Wrestlemania XIX for the Miller Lite Catfight Girls.

Raw Tag Titles: Kane/Rob Van Dam vs. Lance Storm/Chief Morely

The Dudleys are in champions’ corner for no apparent reason. Kane shove Storm to the floor to start and Van Dam kicks Morely’s head off. Van Dam hits a nice flip dive to take out the champions and Kane adds a plancha of his own to pop the crowd. We take a break and come back with the champions in control of Van Dam and Morely grabs a sleeper. Van Dam counters into one of his own but gets caught in a Blue Thunder Bomb.

Rob avoids a splash and makes the tag off to Kane who cleans house with a tilt-a-whirl slam for two on Storm. There’s the top rope clothesline for two more as Morely makes the save. Everything breaks down with the challengers in control and there’s the chokeslam to Storm. RVD loads up the Five Star but Morely shoves him off the top. The Dudleys lay out Storm with the 3D before dropping an elbow on Rob to give Lance the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here which had some strange booking decisions. Kane and Van Dam would take the titles the next night on Raw, so why not just switch them here to fire the crowd up before the show starts? The tag division was really starting to die around this point and having two sets of titles just didn’t work.
Since this is supposed to be about Lance Storm and not his partners, and since Storm didn’t have a lot of major singles moments in WWE, here’s a singles match from Raw on September 8, 2003.

Lance Storm vs. Rico

If nothing else we get to look at Jackie Gayda in a barely there outfit. The idea here is that Storm is boring and trying to find a personality. Rico starts the boring chant before the match so Lance punches him down. Goldust in turn starts a Rico Sucks chant and we’re ready to go. A quick suplex gets two for Lance but Rico comes back with a kick to the face and a clothesline before ripping at Storm’s face. Off to a chinlock for a bit until Storm fights up and starts firing off clotheslines. Jackie tries to get involved and gets kissed by Storm who quickly finishes Rico with a springboard missile dropkick. Short and not terrible here.

Storm would retire as a wrestler in spring of 2004 before becoming a trainer in OVW. He would however come out of retirement a few times, including at One Night Stand 2005 (ECW Reunion show) for a match with old partner Chris Jericho.

Lance Storm vs. Chris Jericho

It’s Lionheart here too and we get a dramatic pause joke from Joey. It’s great to hear Joey talk about the old days, which to be fair and honest were more or less crap but for the sake of this it’s fine. Jericho is freaking small here as he looks like he did in WCW which I mean in a good way. It amazes me that these two have been so intertwined throughout the years. Foley throws in that he was the guy that saw Jericho in Japan and got Heyman to bring him to America and ECW in particular.

We hear about SMW to really make this great. Apparently Joey and ECW don’t like that the New York Athletic Commission made them use mats. This is something that on paper sounds great and on a rare occasion like this one it works like a charm. With these guys here’s what you do: “Chris, Lance, you have 7 minutes, here’s your ending.” That’s all they need. Joey calls Foley Mickles. Ok then.

We get a big old Chris Candido chant who would have passed away only about a month and a half before this show. To say the crowd is hot is like saying Steve Austin might have had alcohol before. We have an F JOHN CENA chant. Foley: How does the Calgary Crab differ from its Boston cousin?

Joey: It doesn’t it’s just a gimmick. Jason and Justin Credible are here and with Dawn Marie running interference, Justin canes the heck  out of Jericho to allow Storm to get the easy pin. Joey complaining about itching from Jason is funny. Lance more or less retired after this.

Rating: B. This was rather fun indeed. These two have good matches just about every time they’re allowed to get in the ring and this was no exception. This is a pairing that it’s hard to get wrong and it worked out just about perfectly. Solid match and a solid ending to Storm’s final match in the mainstream.

Storm would almost exclusively become a trainer after this, though he would occasionally wrestle for independents. Here’s one of those matches, from ROH at Border Wars 2012.

Mike Bennett vs. Lance Storm

Bennett has his old trainer named Brutal Bob Evans with him but no Maria, as in Maria from WWE who is absolutely gorgeous. The fans immediately chant for her and I can’t say I blame them at all. They shove each other around to start with Lance being pushed into the corner which goes nowhere. Both guys trade strikes with Storm hitting a European uppercut to send Bennett into the corner and down to the mat.

Storm fires off some shoulders into the corner and a running version to the ribs gets two. Off to an abdominal stretch which is the most logical move for him at this point. Bennett quickly reverses and sends Storm to the apron and then into the buckle, sending Storm to the floor. Mike throws Storm into the announce table and then the barricade and we head back inside. The fans chant obscenities at Bennett because they can’t handle their countryman getting beaten up. Sore losers.

After sending Storm into the corner it’s off to a bow and arrow hold by Bennett to give the guys a breather. Storm flips out of the hold into a kick to Bennett’s face but gets caught in a backdrop to put him right back down. Back to the reverse chinlock with a knee in Storm’s back as Bennett keeps things slow. Lance fights back and they slug it out with both guys seemingly spent again after only a few minutes. In a rather impressive display of athleticism, Storm jumps from the mat and up to the top for a back elbow to the face, getting two.

The superkick is blocked and Storm walks into a spinebuster for a close two. Bennett tries a fireman’s carry but Storm slips down to the apron. A springboard clothesline misses though and Mike spears him down for two. Storm tries something out of a fireman’s carry but Bennett comes back with a sit out Rock Bottom called the Box Office Smash for two.

A dragon screw leg whip puts Storm down and flips off the fans (Storm mentioned that metaphorically in his pre-match promo) before putting on Storm’s own Canadian Maple Leaf half crab. Storm reverses into one of his own but Evans pulls Bennett to the floor. Storm hits a big dive to take Mike out before going back inside. With Evans distracting the referee, Mike gets a chair, only to have Storm blast him in the back with it and superkick Bennett down for the pin.

Rating: C+. This is probably the match of the night so far, but that ending brings it down for me. Storm using the chair is completely against what he’s been talking about leading up to the match and it goes against his style in general. Now, superkick the chair into Bennett’s face would have been fine, but it doesn’t feel right for Storm to just use the chair on his own like that.

Lance Storm is a fine wrestler but never reached anything higher than the midcard. What people don’t seem to get is that there’s nothing wrong with that at all. Storm could move around a ring very well and was often a bright spot in the mess that was ECW. No he wasn’t a top star, but he was a solid midcard and tag hand with an awesome springboard missile dropkick. He made Val Venis relevant again in 2003. That’s proof enough for me.

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After a trip to England it’s back to America with one of the hardest hitting guys you’ll ever find in a wrestling ring: Hulk Hogan’s cousin (by marriage I believe), Mike Awesome.

We’ll start with one of ECW’s most famous shows: The Night The Line Was Crossed. Awesome was a newcomer at this point and this was his highest profile match to date. From February of 1994.

JT Smith vs. Mike Awesome

This would be a squash in the regular ECW. Here it’s going to be a squash but with a different ending. If you want to see an example of why Awesome is so beloved, watch this match as he’s INSANE but great. He never lets up at all and hits a great over the top rope dive to nearly kill Smith. And then the hometown boy rolls him up for a pin in his only offense all night. Referee gets beaten up anyway. He goes for the splash and breaks the freaking ring ropes.

Rating: N/A. Total squash for Awesome and he lost anyway. He would go to Japan soon after and other than one other time in 94, wouldn’t be seen in ECW until 97. He would wrestle five times there and then would go winless in 1998. FINALLY in 1999 Heyman realized he had something amazing and made him world champion.

Awesome would head to Japan for several years in a hardcore promotion that I don’t consider wrestling, so we’ll skip ahead to the late 1990s when Awesome returned to ECW after a year long knee injury. He reignited his feud with Masato Tanaka, who happened to have a title match at Anarchy Rulz 1999 when things changed a bit.

ECW World Title: Masato Tanaka vs. Taz

No intro or anything. Joey just says it’s time for our world title match. The fans throw a TON of stuff into the ring because of Taz. He sold out apparently. No. Heyman screwed up the booking of him because no one cared about him as a face after he whined for a year and Shane Douglas wouldn’t drop the title like he should have. I still say that had as much to do with killing ECW as anything did.

That and not putting the belt on RVD about 5 months before this. Mike Awesome is in the crowd and Taz says send him in there too. Heyman comes out and holds Awesome back. I love how the fans go from YOU SOLD OUT to yelling his catchphrase with him inside of a minute. Remember that officially Taz hasn’t been announced as leaving yet but it’s the worst kept secret in wrestling. Heyman makes it a threeway.

So yeah add Mike Awesome to the title because I’m lazy. Oh and Awesome is in wrestling gear in the crowd. I’m shocked too. They double team him and that doesn’t work at all. Tanaka takes an Awesome Bomb. And then the Roaring Elbow and Awesome Splash puts Taz out in about two minutes. There you go then.

The locker room empties so that everyone can say goodbye to Taz. Yeah this was a total secret right? Awesome hits a sweet Tope (Taker Dive) to the floor to take Tanaka down. This is your standard solid match with these two. Naturally chairs and tables are brought into play but you have to expect that in ECW. Tanaka hits a Tornado DDT on a chair for two.

And Tanaka gets powerbombed over the top to the floor through a table. Top rope splash follows that for two. Ok then. Tanaka no sells three LOUD chair shots and this Diamond Dust which is an awesome move. It’s table time again with Awesome in control again. Awesome hits a top rope powerbomb for the pin. Yeah that works but a chair shot to the head from the top doesn’t? Taz hands him the belt after the match. The roster says goodbye to Taz as no one cares about Axl Rotten. The fans loving Taz now is kind of stupid. Taz tells them to chant for Awesome. Nice touch there.

Rating: B. Usual good stuff here from these two, but at times the no selling gets annoying. Still though, this was a shock to some people and it was a nice touch throwing Awesome in there as people knew Taz was losing, so here we didn’t know who was leaving with the belt. This was good.

Awesome and Tanaka would trade the title over Christmas of 1999 with Awesome coming out with the belt. He would defend that title against the giant killer Spike Dudley at Guilty As Charged 2000 in January.

ECW World Title: Mike Awesome vs. Spike Dudley

This should be going on in the spot of the TV Title match and the TV Title match should come on last. Spike has lost a lot of that ANGER from an hour and a half ago. He starts setting up tables before Mike is even here. Oh well we get to listen to some more AC/DC so I can’t complain. He sets up FIVE tables including two on top of each other before getting into the ring with a microphone.

He talks about how he makes his living getting put through tables. Ok thanks for admitting you’re a glorified jobber getting a title shot at a PPV. Why was Awesome managed by a “judge?” That never made much sense to me but whatever. Spike goes through a table less than 15 seconds in. Ok then let’s go home now as this is rather pointless. There go two more.

We’re MAYBE a minute and a half in and Spike has done nothing at all other than a few punches. Them calling the split screen replay Double Vision is funny. Spike is in the crowd and Awesome dives over the railing to knock him back down. Joey wants the match stopped but then cheers when he kicks out of a splash. Is this supposed to make sense? Oh that’s right it’s Spike Dudley in the main event of a PPV.

Of course it’s not supposed to make sense. Awesome Bomb is blocked and Spike jumps at Awesome and hits something close to an Acid Drop on the guard rail. Spike might have hurt his leg. Wow I wonder how he could have done that. Spike hits a hurricanrana which Awesome (rightfully) no sells and then kills Spike with a clothesline for two.

Spike hits the one move that I’ve never been able to understand how it can be done safely: a double stomp from the top rope. In an INSANE spot, Spike gets on the top rope and hits a springboard clothesline from the ring to the front row. That was impressive and Joey/Cyrus make fun of Hogan for doing such limited stuff. That’s rather amusing as Awesome is actually Hogan’s nephew or something close to that.

Spike hits an Acid Drop from the apron to the floor through a table and chokes Awesome out with a cord to take over. Joey shouting AWESOME IS DEAD over and over after a big chair shot is rather creepy. Spike is thrown through a table and is more or less out cold. Spike then further proves his idiocy by going up when Awesome is on the top rope in front of a table. Of course he goes through it for the pin. He deserved that for general stupidity.

Rating: D-. The problem here is simple: the credibility just wasn’t there at all. Spike is still his size and Awesome is his size. That’s why this didn’t work very well. We get it: Spike can do moves to big guys, but chair shots and a Diamond Cutter from the ropes isn’t enough to make this believable. They tried….kind of, but this just didn’t work that well at all.

Awesome would keep the title for a few more months before showing up on Nitro. This wasn’t out of the ordinary for the time, but it was out of the ordinary when the person was still under contract with ECW, still ECW Champion and had the ECW Title with him. This led to a big lawsuit with ECW making money, WWF wrestler Taz winning the ECW Title at an ECW show from a WCW wrestler, and Awesome joining WCW full time. His first good match was at Slamboree 2000 against Kanyon.

Mike Awesome vs. Kanyon

This is serious Awesome and not the 70s Guy yet. Awesome put Kanyon through a table to set this up. The fans are all distracted by something else to start so Awesome hits a HUGE dive to the floor, drawing an ECW chant. Kanyon sends him into the post as there’s more energy in this match than the rest of the show combined up to this point. Kanyon hits a running front flip dive off the apron to put Awesome down.

Back in and Awesome hits a top rope clothesline for two. Back to the floor and Mike fires off some chair shots to put Chris down. Yes I’m on first name basis with the two dead guys. They fight into the crowd and Awesome keeps the advantage. Back in and we debate the best powerbomb in wrestling with Nash being declared the best. Back to the floor again for about the fourth time and Kanyon gets hit with a chair again. They were using “relaxed rules” at this point which meant they were trying to rip off ECW and the WWF formula in every match instead of just the main events like WWF did.

Kanyon crotches Mike on the top and hits a reverse neckbreaker for two. Another neckbreaker gets two. The fans are getting into this quickly. Samoan Drop into a front face drop gets two. Kanyon tries a powerbomb but gets caught in an Alabama Slam for no cover. There’s the regular powerbomb and Kanyon lands on his head. FREAKING OW MAN.

Awesome, probably trying to let Kanyon figure out if he’s alive or not, goes outside and pulls the pads back. Kanyon is like screw it and fights back but gets caught by a slingshot shoulder block by Awesome. He loads up the over the top powerbomb but Kanyon escapes, only to allow the American to hit a German to the American (Kanyon) and outside we go again. Awesome sets for something and here’s Nash for the run-in. The rest of the New Blood and Millionaire’s Club come in also and it’s thrown out.

Rating: B-. I was liking it but the constant going outside and the stupid ending hurt it a lot. This felt like the main event of Nitro rather than a definitive PPV match. These two had some chemistry together and it was a good match as a result. Keep these two in mind as they’ll be back later on to totally ruin the show in the end.

Mike would eventually become That 70s Guy (just go with it) and the Fat Chick Thriller (again just go with it) before earning a US Title shot at New Blood Rising under Canadian Rules. This one still makes my head hurt.

US Title: Mike Awesome vs. Lance Storm

Let’s see here. This is in Canada so Storm is the hero. He’s the US, Hardcore and Cruiserweight Champion at this point but would give away two of them soon. Now the cool entrance is about the end of the cool aspects of this match. The US Title is the Canadian Title, the Hardcore Title is the Saskatchewan Hardcore International Title (Get it?) and the 100kg and Under Title.

Storm cuts a short promo and might as well be the second coming. Both of these guys left ECW earlier this year. Storm got this, Awesome got the gimmick of That 70s Guy and the Fat Chick Thriller and never won a title in WCW. Storm was just absolutely awesome at this point and this is his big reward for it.

Part of the gimmick Storm had his own rule book and had his own rules. He invokes one of them and says there’s going to be a special referee. We immediately eliminate the chance of it being Bret Hart since a HUGE Bret chant breaks out. It’s Jacques Rougeau, as in The Mountie. We get the Canadian National Anthem and Storm could more or less murder a thousand babies and still get cheered at this point.

There’s a Juggalo here for no apparent reason. Rougeau is the outside referee and there are two titles held up. Pay no attention to whatever the other one is as it’s not mentioned. Awesome dominates early on, hitting a leg drop as a tribute to his far more famous uncle, Hulk Hogan (How many of you knew that one? Awesome’s aunt is married to Hogan’s brother so they’re like step uncle and step nephew or whatever but screw all the technicalities).

We hit the floor and it’s table time. Well they are from ECW to be fair. Madden: “This isn’t wrestling!” Tony: “Of course it’s not!” I still want to know how much annoyance there was in Tony’s statement there. Awesome goes up top and just slips off. Well it happens to everyone I guess. Awesome hits a SWEET Liger Bomb to more or less end Storm.

Then I’m not sure what happens as there’s a three count but Storm gets his arm up at more or less the exact same time. I’m legit not sure if Storm was supposed to kick out there and just didn’t get up in time or if this was part of the upcoming angle. Given the idiocy of this show and the skill of Storm, we’ll say it was intentional. Johnson raises Awesome’s hand to have the crowd on the verge of rioting.

HOWEVER, according to Canadian Rules, you have to get a 5 count to win a title. Awesome gets an Alabama Slam for three and then hooks a Dragon Sleeper. Storm taps out to lose the title again. Oh you know what’s coming. This time it’s you can’t win by submission. Storm gets two off a suplex as we start one more time. The crowd has gone from white hot to DEAD by the way as they’ve seen Storm get pinned and tap in like 6 minutes.

Awesome gets a five count off a Frog Splash and I can’t believe what I’m watching. Storm has a ten count to get up after the original five count. So the US Champion has now lost three times in about ten minutes perfectly clean and they’ve killed one of the hottest crowds I can remember in WCW’s history. The table is in the ring and Awesome clearly slips on the same corner (maybe they should be cleaned guys?) and they both crash through a table.

Rougeau says first man up gets the title and he punches Awesome in the jaw to make sure Storm looks inept. The crowd pops fairly well and just to absolutely cap off the idiocy, BRET HART IS HERE. You know, the guy the crowd was BEGGING for? So let me get this straight.

WCW was too STUPID to get that in Canada, where Bret is pretty much the biggest athlete that isn’t a hockey player in the history of the country (apparently there was a poll done in 2004 where the Greatest Canadians, as in any Canadian ever and not just athletes were ranked. Bret was #39) and where they had him under contract, that instead of using HIM, they paid the Mountie to come in and get the paycheck for the refereeing job while the fans chanted for BRET. This company deserved to go out of business. The Canadians all hug.

Rating: F-. Seriously, was this supposed to be good or something? Am I supposed to be entertained here? I know Russo doesn’t like titles, but if you’re going to kill them at least do it in America where you go more than once. This was just completely idiotic and one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen.

Awesome would be one of the people brought over in the InVasion and would be the first WCW wrestler to win a match in Madison Square Garden when he interfered in a Hardcore Title match and pinned Rhyno to win the belt. For some reason (Awesome blames politics), he was barely a factor in the whole angle and would job on Jakked and Heat for most of his time in the WWF. After a long stint in All Japan, Awesome would make one final return to the WWE for One Night Stand in 2005 against his old rival Masato Tanaka.

Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka

Awesome is a guy that is HATED by Styles and ECW for jumping ship and trying to throw the belt in the trash on Nitro. Because you know, no one in ECW ever disrespected a belt or anything like that. Joey says that it’s a shame Awesome didn’t take his own life on a suicide dive. That’s true Joey. He took his own life by hanging himself. As for the match, it’s about as intense and stiff as you could ask for.

This was an epic rivalry that went around the world and had them trade the ECW Title. That’s the issue here: Awesome is a traitor to ECW but this match is stealing the show. Let the LOUD chair shots begin. I never liked Tanaka’s no selling of chair shots. Ok we get it: chair shots hurt a lot. Table time and JBL makes fun of it for which I can’t blame him. The jokes about Awesome being wasted in WCW are ridiculously true.

The guy was freaking amazing so we make him the Fat Chick Thrillah and That 70s Guy. And you wonder why they went out of business. The crowd is WAY into this one. Oh look: tables. How original! We get a THIS MATCH RULES chant. And there goes Tanaka over the top rope through a table with a powerbomb. Add in an over the top rope dive onto the concrete and it’s over. Very intense stuff.

Rating: B+. Yep, the show has been stolen. These two had some WARS back in the day and this one was no exception at all. Very intense fight rather than a match but whatever. Fun to say the least. There’s something to be said about two guys just pounding on each other for ten minutes.

Unfortunately that was about it for Awesome as he would take his own life less than two years later. Awesome was another guy that could fly like he was about 100lbs lighter than he actually was and moves so fast in the ring that he had to slow it down outside of ECW so people could keep up with him. He’s a prime example of someone that WCW had and just didn’t know what to do with so they screwed him up completely.

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Millennium Final
Date: November 16, 2000
Location: Arena Oberhausen, Oberhausen, Germany
Attendance: 9,000

Most of you likely haven’t heard of this show and I can’t say that I blame you. In the dying days of WCW, they woke up and did what WWF had been doing for years: going after Europe, and this was the result. It was only aired in Germany and parts of Europe and never once mentioned on American TV or put released to the American market.

There’s a weird and over the top thing for the European Cup which hasn’t been around since 1994 and a world title match with Booker T and Scott Steiner. I’ve never seen this so let’s get to it.

It’s never explained why the Millennium Final is being held 11 months into the millennium but I think that might be too much for WCW to get so I’ll leave it alone. Ah apparently it was the Millennium Tour and this is the FINAL night, even though I’ve found matches dated from December so whatever. Mind you that commentary here is all in German so I’m kind of on my own here. There’s no intro or anything other than pyro and we’re right into our first match.

Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. Kronik

Naturally the commentary is in German but the announcer speaks English. They were out of business in five months and it’s not hard to see why at this rate. The small guys are actually heels here. Make sense out of that. Kronik are Crush and Adam Bomb. I loved them but they just kind of sucked. Kronik’s finisher was a double chokeslam called High Time.

Why they made a ton of pot jokes is beyond me but whatever. Adams and Kidman start and I have no idea who the faces are all of a sudden. The big guys were way over but they’re being booed here. Oh how I love WCW from this era. Nothing makes sense and they have no problem with it at all. What do you really expect to happen here? Rey didn’t become a big deal until WWE so he’s a regular cruiserweight here.

Tygress, the manager of the Filthy Animals, and yes that’s really their name, was just disturbing looking. She wasn’t hot at all but they decided she was I guess. And hey look here, the faces are dominating and then Kidman walks into the double chokeslam for the pin. That was freaking stupid.

Rating: D. Holy goodness this was BORING. I never thought an 8 minute match could be so stupid but I was wrong. I mean just NOTHING interesting happened here. This was so uninspired it was pathetic. No one cared at all and it just was painfully obvious. The crowd was into it but that’s all they had going for it.

Watch WCW television. Or try the veal. I’m not sure what was actually said here.

Battle Royal

Apparently the winner here qualifies for another qualifying match later on to fight in the Europe Cup Title Match where Sting is already in. The winner here gets into a triple threat with Nash and Alex Wright, who is already in this match, making his entry completely pointless but then again it’s WCW so there we are. And apparently this is Royal Rumble style. Ok then. We start with Elix Skipper and Lance Storm as this continues to make less and less since every few seconds.

They’re teammates here so they just kill time until the next guy shows up and it’s General Rection, more commonly known as Bill DeMott. Rection and Storm were feuding over the US/Canadian Title so it fits perfectly. It’s it funny how that always happens? The time is like a minute here as Ernest Miller is 4th. He was commissioner on and off around this time as control changed about once a week literally.

And there’s your obligatory stupid USA chant in a non American country. Mike Sanders who is apparently Commissioner of the Week is 5th. The guy could talk and that’s it. Skipper throws the WORST kicks I have ever seen. That 70s Guy Mike Awesome is 6th. Now let’s stop for a second here. For those of you that saw Awesome in ECW, you know he’s a killing machine.

He’s 6’6 and could fly like a cruiserweight. The guy was a freaking monster. So what did WCW do with him? They turned him into a guy obsessed with the 70s and made him love fat women. WCW, you deserved to go out of business. You know what his original gimmick in WCW was: The Career Killer. Think of Orton but in Swagger’s body and TICKED OFF. No we can’t have that. That kind of gimmick could be, and perish the thought, GOOD!

We can’t have that, so we’ll turn him into the Fat Chick Thriller. WCW stuns me to no end at times. Actually make that all the time. At least he’s in his regular attire here. Kwee Wee, another gay character that never says he’s gay, is 7th. The music in late WCW just plain sucked. Storm goes out. Nothing of note is happening at all, meaning it’s a traditional battle royal. Disco Inferno, a face believe it or not, is 8th and there goes Miller.

The time thing is completely off as usual. Ninth is Kidman who is holding his ribs from all of 15 minutes ago. Again, this is just boring. Nothing of note is going on and the crowd is dying. This really shouldn’t have been Rumble rules. Apparently Kronik come out as a unit, so we’ll call them ten and eleven. They throw out Rection, Kwee Wee and Skipper. Sanders and Disco are out too and it’s Rey out at 12.

Awesome goes through the ropes, so they actually go with the same match we saw LESS THAN TWENTY MINUTES AGO. The stupidity here is astounding. Sean O’Haire is thirteenth as we have five to go. Kidman is out and so is Rey. AND WHAT A SHOCK it’s Sean’s partner Mark Jindrak in next to give us another tag match. Awesome is just hiding on the floor which is smart if nothing else, even though he’s supposed to be a monster but when would WCW use intelligence.

Norman Smiley is 15th to a huge pop. The four guys gang up on him and with little trouble after the worst piledriver this side of a backyard wrestling fed. Alex Wright, the hometown boy, gets a fairly weak pop at number 16. He’s bald now as he had been Berlyn recently. Out last is Konnan for no apparent reason. Ok so the final group is Adams, Clark, Jindrak, O’Haire, Smiley, Wright and Konnan.

Oh and Awesome who is hiding. And I miscounted so the final guy is Finlay. Well he get a good pop if nothing else so that’s good. He puts Kronik out so he’s a superhero. And we have a chair in there for no apparent reason. Smiley puts O’Haire out. Jindrak is out. Finlay puts Smiley out so it’s Konnan, Finlay, Wright, and Awesome and there goes Konnan.

Finlay has the chair but throws it down due to stupidity I guess. Wright puts Finlay out with a dropkick and celebrates to a sweet pop as the hometown boy winning the match. And then here’s Awesome to say SCREW YOU to the fans and win the match. Good night WCW was freaking stupid.

Rating: D. It’s a battle royal so it’s hard to grade, but the booking was just stupid here for reasons already explained. Awesome was fine but then again I mark for him so it’s not that easy. The booking for this show is just all over the place as you’ll soon find out.

Kwee Wee vs. Elix Skipper

Since his real name is Alan Funk, we’re calling the first guy Alan. He was a character that was kind of a combination of Rico and something else resembling Rico that lacked the talent or the intrigue. Skipper was more or less just a regular cruiserweight at this point so this is really just filler. Alan and Skipper actually feuded but it went nowhere given the whole going out of business thing.

For some reason I was always a mark for Skipper. I have no idea why but I was. Surprisingly this isn’t bad. Also much like Rico, Alan was a guy that couldn’t get a break because of his gimmick. He was far more talented than he was made out to be and he shows it here. They do some solid chain wrestling that I like. A common thing tonight is that these matches are getting a good amount of time and that’s rather nice.

Guys like these two that don’t often get to showcase themselves are getting to do so, but they’re a bit tired after the battle royal which sucks. This is pretty good stuff, but Skipper looks terrible as he has to job again. The guy had talent but he was always jobbing. To be fair though the gimmick didn’t help things at all. He almost hits the Playmaker but it’s countered and Alan gets a quick rollup for the pin.

Rating: C+. Ending kind of sucked but WCW’s strategy with small guys was simple: let them wrestle and it’ll work. They never messed with these guys and it helped a lot, but at the same time they just left them there when they were ready to move on up and that’s what killed the company off in the end, at least for me.

Ernest Miller says he runs WCW. Good to know.

Ernest Miller vs. Mike Sanders

This is for the Commissionership, which of course makes sense in a major company: have two men fight to see who the boss is. This was another of the mindlessly dumb feuds they had over who got to be boss like 18 or whatever. I think Sanders is commissioner coming in here. And it’s a two minute match with the Cat winning with a spinkick. I hated these things back then and I hate them now.

Rating: N/A. It’s stupid so it must be WCW. Miller was a guy that I never got the appeal of so he kept getting pushed further and further up the card. I was surprised he never won the world title because it would have failed that much better.

US Title: General Rection vs. Lance Storm

Storm had been pushed as the greatest thing on the planet, winning every singles title other than the World all at once, but now this was all he had left. This was allegedly a hot feud back in the day but I never saw nor felt any of said heat. Morrus starts off hot. Ok that’s a lie. He starts off moderately not cold as I don’t think hot was something he was capable of ever reaching.

This is as much of a cookie cutter of a match as you could ask for. Oh and Major Gunns is at ringside. She thought she drew what Booker and Steiner did. That’s just amusing. You can see the stupid ending coming from here so let’s just skip to that. The flag hits Morrus as he’s about to win the title. There’s about 4 minutes of Storm winning and the half crab and a comeback thrown in there but it was all boring stuff.

Rating: D+. This could have been on any house show and it still would have sucked. Morrus won the title ten days later at Mayhem so it’s not like this was anything more than practice I guess.

Random hot girls come out and dance to what sounds like a German singing a bad English song.

Norman Smiley vs. Fit Finlay

This is a hardcore match. WCW tried to have a hardcore division and it failed worse that a condom for Jon and Kate. Both guys are far more famous in Europe so this makes sense if nothing else. Smiley is over as all goodness here and is dressed like a Swiss guy. This is an Oktoberfest match apparently. It’s a standard basic hardcore match to start out as it’s just random weapons and Norman screaming.

I think by this point Meng had left with the hardcore belt and ended the division once and for all but I’m not sure. It was another case of WCW just putting a title on a guy with no contract and thinking that was ok. He was in WWE about two weeks later and there wasn’t a thing WCW could do about it. They brawl up to the concession/merchandise area (read as Finlay beats on him and Norman conveniently walks that way).

They’re in the crowd now and this is boring yet not awful stuff. Ah good they’re back on camera now. Yeah go ahead and chant for ECW. It’ll die in like two months anyway. Norman takes over in the ring and we hit a chinlock. We have a chinlock in a hardcore match. I don’t know what to type. Ok now I know. That’s freaking stupid. Wow how did I not get that faster? Naturally it turns into nothing but a weapons match.

Finlay keeps getting booed so he gets on the mic and yells in German which is kind of creepy in a way. We hear about Flair for no apparent reason. It’s sad that guys with this much talent have to do stupid stuff like this. We get a crossface chicken wing but Finlay goes through a table.

Finlay goes through a table feet first which looked cool and apparently is good for a pin. Norman dances for awhile and then goes to the back where he does an interview in English but Finlay jumps him. This also went nowhere.

Rating: C. It was a long TV match but that’s fine for something like this. Norman was incredibly over in America for no apparent reason and that translates worldwide I guess. This was a decent match but rather boring. There were just so many of these things that it was hard to really find one that stood out and this one didn’t at all.

Tag Titles: Boogie Knights vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire

So the non dancers are the champions here, but Disco Inferno is hurt. Since we need to have a German win the belts though, we have Alex Wright teaming with General Rection for no apparent reason at all and he’s wearing a sweatshirt despite wearing tights in the previous match. Rection isn’t US Champion here as you saw a little bit ago but he’s announced as it and holds up a German flag. He and Jindrak start us off.

We hear that Wright has been inserted into the Triangle Match later on to qualify for the Europe Cup with Awesome and Nash. It’s weird but slowly and surely you get to understand German to an extent. Wright hits a sweet double nip up to get back up. That was awesome. They mention the Dancing Fools and Berlin but say tonight it’s just Alex Wright. Now why couldn’t we get this Alex Wright in America? This guy is freaking awesome.

The heels take over on Rection to set up the insanely hot tag that’s coming soon. The General looks like a fat Jeff Hardy. And we hit an arm bar ten minutes into the match. That fails to make sense but it’s WCW so whatever. The Seanton Bomb misses and there’s the hot one. Actually make that a slight fever one.

There was a tiny pop at best. And he’s getting beaten up now. This is already making my head hurt badly. I think Alex forgets to kick out of a rollup meaning that Mark has to just kind of let it go which looks completely stupid. Wright hits a missile dropkick from the top for the pin and the titles for him and Disco and a huge pop.

Rating: C-. Odd booking aside, this was all so that Wright could get a huge pop and that’s fine. He’s the hometown boy and he deserves a moment like this. I think it was mentioned on TV as a European match but Rection was never mentioned so there we are. This wasn’t bad but it wasn’t anything worth watching either. It’s your standard TV match which is fine. Not a great match but a cool moment.

Kevin Nash vs. Mike Awesome vs. Alex Wright

Dang Alex has to be getting tired out there. This is his third match tonight. The winner fights Sting who for no apparent reason is in the final match already. Oh that’s right: he drew money at one point in his career. Nash just kind of stands around because moving more than that might cause his spleen to rupture or something and he would be out two days before he could come back and get an easy win.

It amazes me that Awesome went from being a great character to such an awful one in just a few months. That’s WCW for you though. Alex is clearly tired but he’s doing what he can I guess. This is called a triangle match but it’s just a triple threat. Sorry if I don’t seem that interested in these matches but they’re just not interesting. I would guess that it’s because of the lack of commentary. Or maybe it’s just that WCW sucked so badly at this time.

Nash is in the ring now and Awesome is dominating for the most part. Wright is easily the fans’ pick to win but that’s simply not going to happen. That would mean a young guy would get a push and even in a country where that’s never going to be seen we can’t allow that right?

Nash just looks completely out of his element in there and it’s bad. With Awesome taking Nash down, Wright makes his comeback. The fans are barely popping for it. Even in another country WCW was crap. Wright puts him down with the neckbreaker but Nash is waiting. He takes Wright out and pins both guys at once to advance.

Rating: D+. They were just completely out of their element here and it hurt them badly. Wright was the only one the fans cared about but that was just because of the hometown aspect. In retrospect they should have just put him into the main event, if nothing else to give him a chance to catch his breath.

WCW Title: Scott Steiner vs. Booker T.

I believe this is match number 8000 in their eternal series. These two are more or less joined at the hip everywhere they go other than WWE and that’s probably not a good thing. Naturally the title isn’t going to chance here as Steiner would get it at Mayhem in ten days just like Morrus did earlier. This is about as formula based of a match as a human being could possibly ask for here. It’s not very good but it’ll do I suppose.

Booker starts in control and Steiner takes over. He moves. Incredibly. Slowly. Naturally he works on the back which is the closest thing to psychology you’ll get out of that roided up mess. He busts out the Frankensteiner which allegedly is a big move but I fail to see it anymore.

When you have Rey and Juvi jumping all over the place it’s just not worth much anymore. We get the Booker comeback but Steiner manages to get him down and gets the Recliner. Booker gets the ropes and then the kick to end it.

Rating: C+. Like I said this was the standard match for these two and it was ok I suppose. With about ten minutes to work with what more would you ask of them? At least it was a clean pin. It wasn’t bad I guess but they would have a, I guess you could say this, better match, in ten days anyway so this was fine for practice.

Axel Schulz is refereeing the main event. Naturally he was someone that hadn’t meant anything for about three years. You know the jokes that I’m thinking of.

Europe Cup: Sting vs. Kevin Nash

And again it’s two guys in their 40s in the main event instead of pushing a young guy to something. This match is a microcosm of everything that was wrong with WCW for its last two years: the match is sloppy, nothing new is attempted, Sting and Nash don’t really try that hard, and this pales in comparison to some of the other stuff we saw earlier, yet they’ll get their huge checks anyway. This goes on about 9 minutes and is the same thing you saw before. Sting wins by submission and holds up the cup to end the show.

Rating: D-. For all the reasons listed above plus the fact that no one cared at all. This was crap. What a shock, two old guys get to go on for a match that no one is going to care about. Why is this not surprising?

Overall Rating: D+. This was just not that good. To be fair though, most European shows aren’t. The fans were kind of there but this had nothing on an English crowd. The guys on the lower half of the card worked very hard and the guys on the main event didn’t, so it fits very well. There’s a lot of house show stuff in here and it’s just not that interesting. If you can actually find this, don’t bother watching it unless you speak German or just REALLY like WCW.

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ECW on TNN
Date: April 7, 2000
Location: Siegel Center, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

We’re getting closer and closer to Hardcore Heaven and while we don’t have anything announced yet, the main ideas are clearly there. The Network is a good idea and Cyrus is a great mouthpiece for the group. We’re just waiting on Heyman to show up to stand up for ECW which will blow the roof off the place. Let’s get to it.

Joel and Joey are in the ring for the opening and the limerick is almost entirely censored. Joey brings out Raven and Francine for the opening chat. He asks Raven why the bounty was put on Dreamer’s head but Raven says Joey is putting too much stock in the internet and dirt sheets because he’s innocent. Joey asks about Da Baldies saying Raven put the bounty on Dreamer’s head. Francine says she’s a baldie herself but she can’t show Joey where on TV. She also knows Raven didn’t put the bounty on Dreamer so Joey accuses her of doing it, earning a slap in the face.

Cue Da Baldies themselves to say that Raven did issue the bounty and accuse Raven of smelling of fear. Raven: “What you smell is your mom and that’s because I only had $10 on me.” You know that earns a beating for Bird Boy, presumably setting up a tag match of some sort later tonight.

The Sinister Minister recaps what we just saw, including telling us that Raven tells the truth even when he lies. The camera zooms out to show him controlling a marionette Mikey Whipwreck.

Opening sequence.

We go to the announcers so they can say we’re going to a break.

Steve Corino vs. Kid Kash

Corino, now in regular trunks instead of his singlet, grabs a hammerlock to start. Kash comes back with some armdrags and a dropkick before clotheslining Corino out to the floor. A HUGE corkscrew plancha takes Corino and Victory out as Joel regales us with stories of his days as a luchador. Back in and Kash chops away but charges into an elbow in the corner. Corino counters a backflip into a powerbomb for two and Jack Victory gets in a cheap shot to Kash’s jaw.

They head outside with the Kid being whipped into the barricade so Corino can gloat a lot. Back in and a great looking clothesline puts Kash down and a Dusty Rhodes elbow gets two. Kash takes Victory out with a baseball slide and snaps off a top rope hurricanrana to take Corino down. Victory comes in but gets dropkicked into the referee. Kash hits the Moneymaker (lifting Pedigree) but Rhyno comes in to Gore Kash, giving Steve the pin.

Rating: C+. Best ECW match in MONTHS. This is proof that ECW has the kind of guys that can put on an entertaining match without the hardcore nonsense, which makes that kind of stuff all the more annoying. This was a nice, back and forth match with two different styles working well off each other. See why that’s a good idea?

Big Sal says Guido will win the TV Title next week. Cyrus comes in and tells Guido the TV Title match will be a three way dance with Tajiri thrown in. The implication is Tajiri will lay down after Crazy is eliminated. Cyrus loves the idea of a young Italian champion. “It’ll be like Bruno in ’63.”

Cyrus pitches the idea of the three way dance to Tajiri, saying that Tajiri will win the title. “Imagine the young Japanese girl demographic!”

TV Title: Mikey Whipwreck vs. Super Crazy

Mikey grabs a headlock to start as Joel talks about Crazy only having two channels on his TV when he was younger. Crazy escapes the Whippersnapper (Stunner) and a headscissors sends Mikey to the outside. A top rope Asai moonsault misses and a superkick puts Crazy down. Mikey legsweeps Crazy into the barricade and drops him face first onto the same barricade for good measure. Back in and Mikey puts on an Indian deathlock of all things but lets Crazy go, allowing him to hit a middle rope moonsault for two.

Ten punches in the corner have Whipwreck in trouble but he forearms the champion down and drops a middle rope legdrop for two of his own. Joel: “How can that be a guillotine legdrop? Guillotines are French and Crazy is Mexican. YOU DON’T SEE HIM EATING A CROISSANT!” Mikey loads up a moonsault but gets powerbombed down, followed by a top rope Lionsault to retain the title.

Rating: C. This was your usual spotfest but again: WE DON’T NEED HARDCORE STUFF! This has been such a refreshing episode of the show with now two solid matches lacking the violent nonsense. Wins like these make Crazy look more credible as he came from behind and pinned a former world champion clean. Nothing wrong with that.

Post match Guido runs in to jump Crazy to set up their match next week. Tajiri comes in to knock out both guys.

Tommy Dreamer thinks the bounty is a joke and offers to double the bounty if anyone can actually get it done. He knows Raven did this and says if Raven can finally get off the pills, he’ll realize that it’s not Dreamer or his dad that did all this but Raven himself. There is no Raven without Tommy Dreamer.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Angel

Joel and Joey spend the entrances accusing each other of putting the bounty on Dreamer. Joey says he’s known Dreamer too long and Joel’s defense is he’s too cheap. Tommy says he needs some help so here’s Sandman to make it 3-1. Joel: “But is he sober enough to get to the ring?”

Sandman/Tommy Dreamer vs. Da Baldies

Dreamer busts out the barbed wire before we go to a break. Back with the brawl already underway and a replay of various violence from the break.

Grimes is slammed off the top, crotch first onto the barbed wire. Dreamer brings in a ladder and wraps the barbed wire around his arm for an elbow onto Grimes onto the ladder but only the ladder gets hit. Sandman is whipped into the ladder and Grimes pounds away with the kendo stick. DeVito talks trash on the mic and here’s Raven to make it 3-3. House is cleaned and there’s the Even Flow to DeVito for the pin. Not enough to rate but more Dreamer/Raven shenanigans makes my head hurt.

Dreamer and Raven stare each other down but here’s Mike Awesome to interrupt. He understands that these two have a problem with each other but it’s not for why they should. Awesome knows Raven didn’t put the hit out on Dreamer. Judge Jeff Jones grabs the mic and says he did it himself, cuing Awesome to take out Raven and Dreamer. There’s one epic heel alliance out of the way. Both guys are put through a table by Awesome.

Post hotline ad, Judge Jones talks about watching territory tapes and saw a lot of bounties. In short, he put one on Tommy because he thought it would be fun. Seriously, that’s it. Awesome grabs Jones and demands his payoff for taking out Dreamer, plus a bonus for taking out Raven.

Cyrus sucks up to the Impact Players and says they have the hottest manager in the business. Dawn Marie and Jason argue over who he meant.

Jazz rants about Dawn Marie for no apparent reason.

RVD is back next week and Rhyno promises to Gore him before slamming his own head into a wall several times.

Overall Rating: C. This show had the perfect balance to the hardcore violent stuff, decent wrestling, and storytelling that this show has been desperately lacking in recent weeks. I actually liked this and wouldn’t mind seeing more of it which might be a first. That being said, the bounty explanation was just stupid and felt like they threw it in there because they didn’t have another answer. However, it doesn’t really matter because something very big is about to happen which will change everything in ECW. Good stuff this week.

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ECW on TNN
Date: March 24, 2000
Location: Ice House, Salem, New Hampshire
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

Things have changed a bit after the last PPV but it still isn’t anything worth seeing yet. Hopefully things can pick up a bit now that we have a new main story with Awesome and Raven teaming up as the new big bads. As long as I don’t have to sit through the hardcore nonsense even more, things should be ok. Let’s get to it.

Joey and Joel do the intros with Gertner ripping into Cyrus with nothing special.

Opening sequence.

Joey brings out TV Champion Super Crazy and we get the same video from last week on how he won the title at Living Dangerously. Crazy says something in Spanish and here’s his first opponent: Tajiri. Before the match can start here’s Cyrus to say he’s the boss so this is a Japanese death match, which I think means anything goes. Joel goes after Cyrus but is threatened with being arrested and fired. Cyrus shoves Joey as well so Styles takes off his jacket, only to be met with the same threats. If Joey hits him, the show is off the network and will go back to the stone age. Joey backs down and Cyrus gets to stand tall.

TV Title: Super Crazy vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

The match starts after a break with Crazy being whipped into the barricade. Back inside and Tajiri hits a hard kick to the head and the handspring elbow but Crazy dropkicks him back to the floor. An Asai Moonsault into the crowd takes Tajiri down again before getting two off a moonsault press back in the ring. Crazy pounds away with right hands in the corner but Tajiri comes back with a quick victory roll for two and a HARD kick to the head puts Crazy down.

That’s too much wrestling though so here’s a chair, only to have Crazy dropkick it back into Tajiri’s face. Tajiri comes back with a chair to the Crazy’s head and an even bigger one puts the champion down again as we take a quick break. Back with Tajiri tossing in a table as Crazy is busted wide open. A top rope double stomp puts Crazy through the table for two so Tajiri brings in another table. Crazy comes back with a powerslam through the table and slides in a third because why have two when you can have three. A moonsault doesn’t put Tajiri through the table so Crazy powerbombs him through it for the pin.

Rating: D+. How exactly was this different from any run of the mill ECW match? The Japanese death part of the match was just a bunch of table spots which you can see anytime around here, which is the problem with having a hardcore company: it takes away from the shock value of it when the match is supposed to be something special.

Post match Corino, Victory and Rhyno come in to destroy Crazy until Sandman makes a three minute entrance for the save. As is always the case, the heels just stand there while Sandman drinks in the crowd. Tajiri hits the mist on Sandman, allowing Rhyno to Gore him down. Sandman and Rhyno both get piledrivers.

Back from a break and the Network is still in the ring with Cyrus saying no one can stop them. If anyone wants to fight them, come out here right now and do it. This brings out Balls Mahoney with his chair and the goons bail on Cyrus for some reason. He realizes he’s on his own but Corino saves him from death. The segment FINALLY ends after taking up literally over half of the show.

Earlier today Da Baldies beat up Tommy Dreamer in front of a Coke machine. Apparently Raven has put a bounty on Dreamer’s head.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Vic Grimes

Dreamer jumps Grimes on the floor and sends him into the post to draw early blood. They head into the aisle where a spotlight staring straight into the camera blinds us for a bit. The brawl goes into the crowd and I don’t think there was ever a bell. They fight into a penalty box as you can barely see a thing in this mess. Back to ringside and Dreamer hits him in the back with a chair but Grimes hits a powerslam on the floor to take over.

Now they head to the back of the arena for more walking around with the occasional punching called brawling. Grimes gets on top of a scaffolding and drops an elbow onto Dreamer on the concrete. Da Baldies carry Dreamer back to ringside and crotch him on the barricade. Back inside and a top rope splash is only good for two because the people in ECW won’t get pinned if they get their heads cut off while wild horses attached to their limbs run off in all four directions.

Back to the floor with Dreamer sat in a chair so all of Da Baldies can pound on him. Grimes tries a running flip dive but lands on the apron before falling on the empty chair. Dreamer pulls out a ladder for no apparent reason before tying Angel (another Baldie) up in the Tree of Woe. Dreamer catapults the ladder into the Baldies’ faces and drops them with a double DDT. Grimes is dragged back into the crowd and placed on a table so Dreamer can drop an elbow of his own. Back in the ring and Grimes blocks a DDT but misses a Swanton onto the ladder, giving Dreamer the pin.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t wrestling of any sort at all. It was a bunch of messy spots with a few wrestling moves thrown in for fun. This is the kind of nonsense that just keeps going and going while eating up the limited television time they have. The Raven vs. Dreamer stuff was played out three years ago but it’s all the GENIUS Heyman can come up with.

The yet to be named Sinister Minister is in the ring and says that he came up with the idea to pair up Raven and Awesome. Oh yeah that’s a thing. I had forgotten they were a pairing until now. Francine is in the ring with him but he berates her for a bit before handing her the mic. She brags about all the success she’s had in ECW and doesn’t like him taking credit for her success. Francine claims she’s behind Awesome and Raven, so here are the Impact Players to stare down Awesome and Raven as the show ends.

Overall Rating: D. That’s on the ECW sliding scale. This was a tricky episode to grade because they did have stories going on, but the stories either aren’t interesting or are just being teased instead of actually going anywhere. The wrestling was bogged down by more hardcore nonsense, which is going to cost them in the long run. It’s fine to have once in awhile but when that’s all you have, the effect is gone in a hurry.

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ECW on TNN
Date: March 17, 2000
Location: Asbury Park Convention Center, Asbury Park, New Jersey
Attendance: 2,300
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

It’s the show after Living Dangerously and a few things have changed. First and foremost, Super Crazy of all people won the TV Title, beating Rhyno in the finals. We also have new tag team champions with the Impact Players getting the belts back, putting us right back where we were before the fast title changes happened. The next PPV isn’t until May so we’ve got time to build to the next bad show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a brawl from some undetermined show with the Impact Players beating Nova and Chris Chetti to retain the titles. We only saw the last 75 seconds or so.

Opening sequence, but instead of the usual stuff we get a recap of the PPV.

RVD and Super Crazy are in the back with Rob saying Crazy is nice for carrying his belt. Crazy should get all the perks: limousine rides, champagne, green cards, all that good stuff. Just remember that Rob is coming back to get his title back.

Angel vs. Sandman

After about four minutes of intros and a break we have all of Da Baldies laying out Sandman so Angel can talk trash while beating on him. A cane shots from Skull gets two for Angel but Sandman throws him out to the floor. Sandman beats all of Da Baldies down and heads to the back for a piece of guardrail.

Angel gets crushed and we head back inside for more left hands from Sandman. The rail is set up in the corner but Angel comes back with more right hands, only to be sent into the rail in the corner. Sandman gets crotched on the rail but Vito accidentally hits Angel with the cane. Sandy pounds away on all of them and pins Angle after breaking the cane over his head.

Rating: D-. This was your usual ECW hardcore mess. The match wasn’t any good and to even call it a match is a big stretch. Sandman was popular though so the fans were into him which is the right idea. It doesn’t do New Jack any favors though as he’s fought Da Baldies for months now with no success.

Cyrus is sitting next to Rhyno and says this started as business but has become personal. He wants to kill off the ECW phenomenon and Rhyno says no one is safe.

Joel implies Cyrus and Rhyno are lovers.

Steve Corino is in the ring with Jack Victory and wants to know when he got heat with the office. He just wanted to be on TV once in awhile and doesn’t want his match tonight.

Steve Corino vs. New Jack

New Jack’s song begins and the beating is quickly on. This is one of those “matches” which involves nothing but weapons shots because New Jack doesn’t seem to know how to wrestle. Joel: “He’s beating Corino like a lapdancing midget at a funeral.” Joey: “What he said.” A guitar shot puts Corino down and draws in Jack Victory to try to save his buddy.

They head to the floor with New Jack taking over as they head towards the balcony. We take a break and come back with Victory strapped to a table as New Jack dives from the balcony to destroy everyone in sight. Back in and Rhyno runs in to Gore New Jack, giving Steve the pin.

Rating: N/A. Considering this was a four minute “match” which was mostly spent on a big balcony dive before someone not even involved in the match caused the end, what kind of a rating do you think I’m going to give it? I can’t stand New Jack as he’s completely against what wrestling is supposed to be. When you make Sandman look like a skilled grappler, something isn’t right.

Spike Dudley is out 9 months for knee surgery.

House show ads.

Raven talks about having his woman taken from him and tells Tommy to pretend life is a game of cards. The cards are finely blown glass and as they build trust, they turn over more and more cards. Then one day the cards are swept away and shattered, leaving both guys wanting the cards intact again. Didn’t they just want to play a game? The camera pan up to show Francine dressed like Raven and doing his pose and catchphrase.

ECW World Title: Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka

Awesome is defending. The referee does a weapons check but as soon as the bell rings Judge Jeff Jones throws in a chair. Tanaka grabs one of his own and we get the dueling chair spots until they cave each others’ heads in with chair shots. Tanaka hits a running forearm in the corner and a dropkick sends Awesome to the floor. Mike gets a boot up to knock a chair into Tanaka’s face and drops him ribs first over the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Tanaka dropping Awesome with a tornado DDT and getting two off a missile dropkick. Awesome grabs a quick chokebomb for a near fall of his own and a Batista Bomb gets the same. The Awesome Splash gets the third straight two count and it’s table time. Surprisingly enough Tanaka is put through it with no reversal before being rammed into the corner for two again.

Here’s another table because just one isn’t a title match in ECW. Tanaka breaks up an Awesome Splash through the table and superplexes the champion through the wood to put both guys down. There’s the Roaring Elbow to knock Awesome out but Jones has the referee. Cue Raven to lay out Tanaka and the referee with DDTs for no explained reasons. Tanaka is powerbombed through a table on the floor and here’s Tommy Dreamer for the save, only to get caught in a DDT as well. Dreamer is powerbombed through a table as well and the match is thrown out.

Rating: C. The match was fun as usual but we get the idea already: Tanaka and Awesome can beat the tar out of each other. The idea here is that Raven and Awesome are the latest evil partnership but we kind of got that idea when they won the tag titles. I’m just over this match already and I have no need to ever see it again.

Overall Rating: D. I can’t remember a company with a bigger divide between the main event and everything else. The main event stories take up the last third of the show and the rest of the episode was just random brawling with no stories to be seen anywhere. Nothing to see here, but this just felt like a wasted episode.

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ECW on TNN
Date: March 10, 2000
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

It’s the go home show for Living Dangerously and the main story….is up for debate actually. It could be Dreamer and Tanaka winning the tag titles on a fluke last week. It could be (and likely is) Heyman and company going to war with the Network. It could be Dusty vs. Corino. Either way, none of these feuds have had matches announced for the PPV, but maybe we’ll get something tonight. Let’s get to it.

Joey and Joel are in the ring for the intro for the first time in a few weeks. Joel actually gets to finish him limerick this week by saying that after tonight’s show in Philly, he’ll be riding Cyrus’ mom silly. This of course draws out Cyrus but even Joey goes off on him this time, saying he won’t interview a jerk like Cyrus.

Opening sequence.

Cyrus is still in the ring as the fans chant for RVD. We FINALLY get some matches announced for the PPV as tonight we’ll start a TV Title tournament which will end at the PPV. Bill Alfonzo comes out but Cyrus keeps ranting, saying he’s canceling ECW on TNN to be replaced by Extreme Championship Shuffleboard. This brings out RVD with the title and his ankle wrapped up. Before we get to that though, here’s a PPV ad so we can pay the talent.

Also a hotline ad.

Back in the arena with Scotty Anton (Riggs) standing by RVD’s side. Cyrus makes fun of Riggs but Rob shoves him away and praises Riggs for his loyalty. Yeah the screwjob is coming a mile away. Anyway Rob says his leg is getting better and he’s still in the gym to stay in shape. Rob talks about watching ECW grow for years now and about how he’s never left for greener pastures. He isn’t going to let Cyrus screw up everything ECW has done no matter how badly he’s hurt.

Rob throws down the belt and vows to take the title back from whomever Cyrus gets it on and he’ll do it here on TNN. Cyrus and Fonzie are about to get into it but Rhyno gores Fonzie down. Rob and Rhyno get into it but Anton pulls RVD away before he’s injured even worse. Cyrus wants to start this tournament right now.

TV Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Rhyno vs. Spike Dudley

Spike scores with a quick neckbreaker and gets two off a small package. A sunset flip gets the same and Spike low bridges a charging Rhyno out to the floor. Back from a break with Spike being thrown off a balcony onto but not through some tables. Back to ringside with Rhyno being sent into the barricade and a bulldog gets two for Spike.

Spike takes a chair to the top but dives into a left hand to the ribs to put him down. A TKO gets two for Rhyno and he sets up a table in the corner. Spike comes back with the Acid Drop but here come all the heels to break it up. The distraction lets Rhyno Gore him through the table, injuring Spike’s knee in the process. A piledriver sends Rhyno to the semi-finals at the PPV, apparently against Sandman who beat Tajiri in a non-televised match.

Rating: D. I’m over this Spike the Giant Killer schtick. We get it: you have ONE MOVE that can stop big guys but people are going to interfere in case it’s a top level monster. It’s the same idea of X-Pac being able to hit the X-Factor and win matches against guys he has no business being in the ring against. In other words, COME UP WITH SOMETHING ELSE.

Spike is being taken to the hospital.

Jado/Gedo vs. Impact Players

This is also from the same show but it’s being shown out of order for some reason. I think Gedo is starting against Credible with the Players in early control. Off to Storm for a dropkick and a bunch of trash talking (yes from Lance Storm) before it’s back to Credible for a chinlock. Gedo tries to fight up but gets taken down by a clothesline and it’s back to Storm for right hands. Gedo flips out of a German suplex and clotheslines Storm down, allowing for the tag off to Jado.

Storm gets crotched on the top and belly to back superplexed down. Everything breaks down and both teams score some hot near falls. Back to Justin as the chair is thrown out of the ring, only to be replaced by a table. Jado reverses a hiptoss to send Credible through the table before catching Storm in a tiger driver. A top rope splash from Gedo gets two and Justin is dropkicked to the floor. Jado gets two off a middle rope powerbomb but Gedo walks into a superkick and gets caught in a spike piledriver for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was a fun match for the most part when they ignored the violent nonsense. I can usually overlook insanity and rules breaking down in tag matches because it makes for the most interesting stuff. Also, how nice was it to see actual TAGS in a tag team match? Fun stuff here.

We’re FINALLY given more PPV matches with Dreamer/Tanaka defending against the Impact Players and Mike Awesome/Raven (never been on screen together that I remember) and Corino vs. Dusty Rhoes in a bullrope match.

Tag Titles: Raven/Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka/Tommy Dreamer

Sure why not. Awesome throws Dreamer around to start before it’s off to Raven for some cheap shots. Dreamer gets up and Raven runs off to bring Mike back in. Tanaka gets the tag as well to give us the same match we’ve been watching for three months. Awesome wins a slugout and gets two off a quick splash. Tanaka sends him face first into the middle buckle and scores with a missile dropkick for no cover. Awesome counters the tornado DDT into a sitout spinebuster but he tags Raven instead of covering.

We get our first chair but Tanaka channels his inner Samoan and no sells the shot to the head. Tanaka elbows him in the head for two and Raven is sent into the chair in the corner. Dreamer pounds away and puts Raven in the Tree of Woe for the standing on the crotch spot. Awesome uses the distraction to powerbomb Dreamer out of the corner to give Raven two. Back to Mike for a middle rope back elbow, getting another near fall.

A choke bomb gets two more on Dreamer so it’s back to Raven. Bird Boy grabs a mic and pounds it into Dreamer’s head as Raven talks trash to Tommy. Dreamer does the smart thing by kicking Raven low but the back is too hurt to tag. A bulldog gets two on Dreamer and it’s table time. Awesome misses the splash through the table and Dreamer makes the tag off to Tanaka. He cleans house on both challenges but Awesome takes him down with a release German suplex.

Everything breaks down and Judge Jeff Jones sends in two more tables. Masato loads up a superplex through the table but gets crotched on the top instead. Dreamer loads up a Death Valley Driver off the top, only to be pulled down by Raven and sent face first into the edge of the table with the drop toehold. That looked SICK.

The Awesome Splash is only good for two and the Awesome Bomb through the table gets the same thanks to a save by Tanaka. The Roaring (discus) elbow gets two on Raven and the Dreamer DDT gets the same. Awesome hits the running Awesome Bomb through the table on Dreamer, allowing Raven to get the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. This was actually something almost kind of resembling the tag team formula. It’s certainly not a good match but at least there was some kind of a flow to it. The booking on the other hand continues to be stupid as there’s no real reason to change the titles around like this other than to set up the three way dance. Raven vs. Dreamer and Tanaka vs. Awesome are played out, but Heyman, the GENIUS, can’t come up with anything new so this is what we’re stuck with.

Sinister Minister does his recap of the show and laughs a lot. Is there a point to this guy?

Overall Rating: D+. Well it wasn’t as bad as last week’s show but that isn’t saying much. We do at least have something set up for Sunday which is more than I was expecting to have by the end of the show. Some of the wrestling here wasn’t terrible and the less Sandman nonsense I have to sit through the better.

Here’s Living Dangerously if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/12/on-this-day-march-12-2000-living-dangerously-2000-two-ecw-shows-in-a-month-is-dangerous-enough/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

ECW on TNN
Date: February 18, 2000
Location: Tallahassee Civic Center, Tallahassee, Florida
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

The main story coming out of last week’s show was Rhyno and Corino going after Dusty Rhodes with Sandman making the save. Odds are we won’t hear about that tonight due to it being the second half of a double taping, but the story wasn’t very good other than Dusty’s parts anyway. We also might get an update on the TV Title situation. Let’s get to it.

We open with Cyrus in the back, talking about how we only have 59:45 to go until ROLLERJAM! ECW is in trouble after Dusty Rhodes attacked him last week and they have heat with the network now. RVD is officially stripped of the TV Title and ECW will do what Cyrus says to do. NOW ONLY 57:19 UNTIL ROLLERJAM! I remember watching this when it first aired and it was awesome due to Cyrus being so over the top. Also Rollerjam was awesome.

Opening video.

Joey and Joel do their intro from the booth instead of the ring with Styles talking about the new video game, which was a clone of WWF Attitude.

Tanaka says he’s winning the title back tonight.

Nova/Chris Chetti vs. Roadkill/Danny Doring

Chetti takes Doring into the corner to start and we actually get a clean break. A quick kick puts Danny down and it’s off to Nova for a double elbow and hip toss. Roadkill comes in sans tag to clean house but takes out Doring by mistake. Nova comes back with a kick to Roadie and a spinebuster to Doring before diving to the floor to take out Roadkill. Nice sequence there.

Back in and Roadie blocks a tornado DDT and Doring takes Nova down with a clothesline. This is pretty fast paced stuff but it’s not falling apart at all. A pair of slams (sidewalk and power style) put Nova down and a top rope elbow from Doring gets two. Nova comes back with a reverse DDT and it’s off to Roadie vs. Chetti.

Chris cleans house on both guys and hits a tornado DDT on the big fat guy (Roadkill). Nova and Chetti load up the Tidal Wave (top rope splash and legdrop from the same corner) but only Nova launches with Chetti getting crotched. Doring makes the save and Roadkill pops up to set up a table on the floor. The big fat splash misses Nova entirely, but Doring hits a jumping double arm DDT on Nova for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it falls into the same ECW trap that most matches do: there’s not enough time spent building to the frantic (yet good) finish. Both of these teams were good in the roles they played, but Nova and Chetti never won the titles and Roadkill and Doring only won the belts after the TV show was off the air.

Post match the Impact Players, the reigning tag champions, come out to destroy all four guys.

Mike Awesome says he’ll keep the title.

Super Crazy vs. C.W. Anderson

I never cared for C.W. Anderson. He’s supposed to be a throwback to Arn Anderson but it never quite worked. Crazy hooks a quick headscissors to put Anderson on the floor before hitting a BIG springboard moonsault to take out Anderson and Bilvis Wesley. Crazy picks up a chair for no apparent reason, allowing C.W. to superkick it into his face. It’s already table time but Anderson goes to the top rope after setting it up. Crazy is all like ESTOY EL LUCHADOR and hurricanranas Anderson down for two.

Not that it matters though as Anderson comes back with a spinebuster through the table. Arn Anderson should smack him around for that kind of no selling. A half nelson suplex gets another two count for C.W. but a springboard tornado DDT gets the same for Crazy. Super throws in two more tables and chairs for something resembling a Conchairto because why not use one of those in a meaningless TV match? A springboard legdrop through the table gets two for Crazy as Lou E. Dangerously makes the save. Bilvis accidentally hits Lou with a chair, allowing Crazy to hit two moonsaults through the table for the pin.

Rating: D. Again, this was a six and a half minute TV match with no story to it, so we had three tables, a Conchairto, two people interfering and chair shots. The reason stuff like this worked in the Austin vs. Foley main events was there was a solid foundation under the matches to get us to that point. Just having it all happen in a few minutes between guys with no story doesn’t work at all unless you’re some kind of bloody thirsty sociopath.

Chetti and Nova want a piece of the Impact Players. They didn’t need to wear a jock strap on the face or to carry Shawn Michaels’ bags (Justin) to get over.

ECW World Title: Masato Tanaka vs. Mike Awesome

Awesome is defending. The fans chant RVD at Awesome during the weapons check. You know, because we wouldn’t want weapons getting involved in an ECW match or anything. Awesome runs the challenger over to start and catches a Thesz Press attempt in a belly to belly suplex. Tanaka comes right back with a powerslam of his own, only to have Awesome run the corner and hit a back elbow to the jaw. Nice move.

Tanaka quickly knocks him to the floor and hits a plancha off the top rope to the floor. Mike goes into the barricade but gets a boot up to stop a charging challenger. A big dive over the barricade into the crowd takes Tanaka down as we hit the brawling stage. Mike hits a HARD chair shot to the head (what was that about weapons?) but Tanaka no sells it. A German suplex is no sold and a chokebomb gets two for Awesome.

It’s table time but Tanaka escapes an Awesome Bomb and sends Mike to the apron for a DDT, sending Awesome through the table. A running chair shot to the head has Awesome in trouble and a missile dropkick to the back of the head gets two. Tanaka hits the top rope chair shot to a grounded Awesome but Mike counters the tornado DDT into a kind of spinebuster on the chair.

The second attempt at the DDT connects but Awesome gets up at two. Diamond Dust (flipping Stunner off the middle rope) is countered into an Alabama Slam for two and Mike gets two off a sitout Awesome Bomb. The Awesome Splash gets the same and here’s another table. Tanaka escapes another Awesome Bomb and hits the Roaring Elbow, only to have Mike deck him on the top and hit a top rope Awesome Bomb through the table to retain.

Rating: C+. Yeah these matches are hard hitting and fun, but when you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all. There is NOTHING between the big moves and it takes away from any value the match has. It’s a car crash match with nothing but spots and that makes for a match that is fun for a bit but has zero staying power at all. There’s no story or anything here and that holds matches WAY back.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event was fun in a car crash sense, but other than that there’s nothing on here worth seeing. One of ECW’s biggest problems is the complete lack of an upper midcard. There’s a tag team division, a middle of the card and a main event scene, but nothing between them. This becomes a problem because there’s nothing for the guys in between so you get a bunch of random matches from week to week. This was decent enough but it didn’t do much for me.

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