ECW On Sci Fi
Date: February 26, 2008
Location: Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Attendance: 5,200
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re on the way to Wrestlemania and this week isn’t likely to have Ric Flair for a main event. Chavo Guerrero vs. CM Punk should be done for good but you never can tell with that feud. It feels like it could somehow keep going despite being long past its expiration date. If not Punk though, who else is supposed to go after the title? Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Kelly Kelly/Kofi Kingston vs. Santino Marella/Layla

The women start things off as Tazz talks about some 80s song. Actually we’ll switch to the men as Kelly has to bring in “Koko Kingston”. That’s fine with Kofi, who knocks Marella into the corner and hammers away. Back up and Santino gets in a cheap shot to take over and a clothesline allows for some posing.

Layla even gets in some hair pulling from the apron, allowing Santino to work on an armbar. For some reason Santino tags Layla in, which is as good as Kofi tagging Kelly. Some clotheslines drop Layla and Kelly hits a high crossbody for one as everything breaks down. Trouble In Paradise drops Santino and a Fameasser gives Kelly the pin.

Rating: C-. This was as good as Santino doing his lame offense to Kofi for a few minutes before the women came in for the finish was going to be. Santino is a fun character but he doesn’t exactly have the in-ring work to back it up in any way. Kofi continues to feel like someone WWE is protecting and that is a good sign for his future.

Bunnymania is coming at Wrestlemania.

Video on Maria’s Playboy shoot.

Stevie Richards vs. Mike Knox

Knox, ever the villain, goes for the throat to start and a hot shot cuts off a comeback attempt. The slow beating is on and Knox grabs a chinlock to stay on the throat. That’s switched into a choke so the fans start begging for the comeback. Richards comes up with a superkick but the StevieT is blocked. Instead Richards avoids a charge into the corner and now the StevieT is enough to finish Knox off.

Rating: D+. Do you know how fast someone with the limited offense of Knox is going to run out of throat based moves? Richards has a good story, but there is only so much that you can do with it week after week. Yeah he has a bad throat, but if that’s all you’re getting, how far is this supposed to go?

Tommy Dreamer tells Colin Delaney that he as a future as his injuries are starting to heal. Delaney asks if he can have his own theme music when he becomes a star. Dreamer glares at him.

Raw Rebound.

Commentary gets serious about the Vince McMahon/JBL/Hornswoggle/Finlay ordeal.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Tommy Dreamer/Colin Delaney

Non-title. Dreamer armdrags Morrison down to start but Delaney tags himself in (Dreamer: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”) and hits a dropkick. Morrison takes him down without much trouble though and it’s off to Miz to hammer away in the corner. The backbreaker/slingshot elbow combination gives Morrison two and it’s back to Miz for a chinlock. Delaney fights up and Dreamer gets the tag to start the house cleaning. A reverse DDT plants Miz and Morrison is sent outside. Dreamer sends Miz into Delaney and the DDT is good for the pin.

Rating: C-. It might make sense in the story but Dreamer and Delaney just beat the Tag Team Champions completely clean. That’s not the best thing to see and while Miz and Morrison aren’t likely to drop the titles, it feels like a repeat of the Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore feud. Just stop having the champs get pinned.

Video on the Wrestlemania press conference, with the focus on Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Miz and John Morrison are yelling at each other when they’re told Tommy Dreamer and Colin Delaney are getting a Tag Team Title shot next week. They aren’t scared.

CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke vs. Shelton Benjamin

The winner gets an ECW Title shot against Chavo Guerrero, on commentary, next week. The fans are behind Punk as Benjamin kicks Burke to the floor. Chavo: “I would have ducked.” Benjamin knocks Punk down but Burke low bridges him outside to even things up a bit. Back in and Punk grabs a slightly scary flapjack on Burke but Benjamin comes in for the jumping Downward Spiral to drop Punk.

We take a break and come back with Benjamin sunset bombing Punk to the floor but getting dropkicked off the apron by Burke. The Outer Limits elbow gets two on Punk and the running crotch attack to the back of the next hits Benjamin as Burke is the only one left standing. Punk pulls Burke off the top, only to get caught with Benjamin’s dragon whip to cut him down as well. Burke knocks Benjamin out to the floor but Punk is back up with the GTS for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C+. They didn’t hide what they were going to do with the winner here and that isn’t the worst thing. That being said, I’m completely burned out on Punk vs. Chavo, but who else is there to go after the title? ECW is really weak on top faces right now and I don’t think I can see Stevie Richards getting a title shot. That leaves Punk, and that isn’t much to write home about at the moment.

Post match Guerrero gets in the ring for the staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Blech, what a weak show this was, with Kofi vs. Santino being one of the more interesting things going on. You can only get so much with this limited of a roster and no one else to challenge Chavo, so this was more a matter of time than anything else. The main event was fine, but I need more than Punk vs. Chavo 47 or whatever it is to pique my interest.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: February 12, 2008
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 14,307
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

The now seemingly never ending feud between Chavo Guerrero and CM Punk continues after Punk knocked Guerrero into the Gulf of Mexico last week. We are still on the way to their next match at No Way Out and odds are Guerrero is going to do something to get back at Punk this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at last week’s Gulf Of Mexico match.

Opening sequence.

Here is Chavo Guerrero to get things going. He stands before you, lucky to be alive, as CM Punk threw him into the Gulf Of Mexico and he can’t even swim! Now he has a HORRIBLE sinus infection, plus some pink spots on his throat. He’s had migraines too and these TV lights are making it worse. When he was in the water, he was stung by a jellyfish!

But he is a Mexican warrior so he’ll defend the ECW Title against Punk TONIGHT. Cue Armando Alejandro Estrada to say that while he is proud of Chavo, he can’t let that match happen. Chavo is still sick, but Punk can have a warmup match tonight….against Mark Henry. Works for Chavo!

We look at Stevie Richards’ sitdown interview last week where he talks about wanting to come back from his latest surgery. This was a great way to build sympathy for him and it worked well.

Stevie Richards vs. Rory Fox

Richards grabs a headlock to start before taking Fox down for a kick to the chest/back each. A big boot and a double underhook DDT finishes Fox in a hurry, leaving Richards looking very pleased.

Video on Mark Henry.

Kelly Kelly vs. Layla

Lena Yada is here with Layla, who takes Kelly down with a headscissors to start. Kelly fights up but gets knocked into the corner as Tazz tries to talk about their looks without sounding creepy and not quite making it work. Layla starts in on the arm, including legdrops and an armbar to mix things up a bit. Kelly breaks it up and manages a high crossbody for two, followed by a Fameasser for the pin.

Rating: C-. I don’t think it’s anys ecret that this crop of women weren’t exactly great in the ring but they did seem to be trying. Having a match that was just under four minutes and could have been far worse isn’t the worst result and they do seem to be getting more comfortable in the ring. Keep working on that and see just how far they can take things.

Kofi Kingston vs. Mike Knox

Kofi picks up the pace to start but can’t quite take the much bigger Knox down. He can however monkey flip Knox, who comes back with a shot to the face. Knox stomps him down in the corner as we do get a KOFI chant, though I’m not sure if enough people seem to be cheering it to reach that volume level. Kofi fights up and hits a kick to the face and the double legdrop. The spinning kick to the head finishes Knox off.

Rating: C. Another basic but effective match here as Kofi is starting to establish more of a style. He has a long way to go, but beating some slightly more difficult competition like Knox is a good thing. Knox hasn’t been a big deal in awhile, but beating someone who used to be a bigger deal is better than beating someone who has never been anything.

No Way Out rundown.

John Morrison vs. Tommy Dreamer

Miz and Colin Delaney are the seconds and the villains handle Dreamer and Delaney’s entrances in a rather negative way. Dreamer takes him down to start and sends things outside to keep up the beating. Miz grabs the foot though and Dreamer gets to crash out to the floor.

Back in and Morrison grabs a seated abdominal stretch before switching to the classic idea of punching him in the face. Dreamer avoids a charge though and Morrison crotches himself on the rope. After knocking Miz off the apron, Dreamer walks into Morrison’s springboard spinning kick to the face. The flipping neckbreaker is broken up though and Dreamer’s DDT finishes Morrison off.

Rating: C. It’s still low level stuff, but Delaney having any kind of a friend is a good thing and gives his story a better future. Sometimes that’s all you need and is has given the story a new life. Delaney takes a good beating and that can get him pretty far, with the obvious tag match being the big endgame from here.

Post match Miz and Morrison beat down Delaney and Dreamer.

Mark Henry says this is going to be a funeral.

CM Punk vs. Mark Henry

Chavo Guerrero comes out to watch. Punk slugs away and is promptly run over with a hard shoulder. The big elbow drop misses but Henry throws him down without any trouble. Henry posts him hard and then chokes inside for the DQ.

Post match Punk kicks Henry to the floor and gives Chavo the GTS to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. You can see the stories that they are putting together around here and while that is a good thing, it would be nice if the stories were a bit more interesting. The nothing women’s feud and a Tommy Dreamer mentor story are only going to get so far. At the same time it’s still CM Punk vs. Chavo Guerrero as the top feud. How far is that supposed to get you? Watchable enough show, but they still need something interesting.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: October 2, 2007
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Tazz, Joey Styles

It’s time to find out who is going to challenge CM Punk for the ECW World Title with the finals of the Championship Chase. That being said, Big Daddy V seems primed to be the next big monster challenger. The problem is I’m not sure what he can do outside of a short title shot. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Vince McMahon to open things up with a major announcement: John Cena has suffered a torn pectoral muscle and we see a clip of last night’s match with Mr. Kennedy where Cena was injured. We also see Randy Orton attacking Cena after the match, which is where Vince says the injury took place (makes sense). As a result, Cena will be out of action for six to twelve months, so the WWE Title is officially vacant. That won’t last for very long though, as the new champion will be crowned on Sunday at No Mercy in a way to be announced.

Here is CM Punk for a chat of his own. Punk says we are five days away from No Mercy and he should be ready for whoever becomes #1 contender. Instead he can’t get his mind off of Big Daddy V, who laid him out last week. Punk respects V, who also has his attention. Matt Striker and V pop up on screen, with Striker saying V’s message is clear: he wants the title. As for Punk, good luck on his upcoming match.

CM Punk vs. Mike Knox

Non-title. Punk starts cranking on the wrist to start and takes him to the mat for a hammerlock. Knox punches away and hits a dropkick before grabbing a hammerlock of his own. Some knees to the arm set up a hammerlock slam but Punk is up with a running dropkick for a breather. We take a break and come back with Knox snapping Punk’s throat across the top rope for two and putting on the chinlock. A hard clothesline sets up another chinlock but Punk fights up and hits a dropkick. The running knee connects in the corner but the bulldog is blocked. That’s fine with Punk, who picks him up for the GTS and the pin.

Rating: C. I know they’re trying something with Knox, but there are only so many ways around him being a generic villain. He has some size and some power but that’s the extent of anything about him. He’s fine as a guy who is there, but on a show with only an hour a week, you need something a little more than basic villains and wrestlers.

Video on Tommy Dreamer.

Here is Balls Mahoney, who would like an answer from Kelly Kelly on their proposed date. Kelly comes out and, after being asked again, says yes. Cue Miz and the rest of Extreme Expose, with Miz mocking Mahoney. He tries to get to Kelly, but Mahoney knocks him to the floor. That doesn’t bother Miz though, as he owns Extreme Expose’s management contract. If Kelly doesn’t come with them right now, she is off the team and out of ECW. Kelly reluctantly leaves with them.

Video on Elijah Burke.

No Mercy rundown.

Elijah Burke vs. Tommy Dreamer

For the No Mercy title shot. Dreamer, in the dew rag, goes with the early rollup for two before tying Burke in the Tree of Woe. The running dropkick connects for two and Dreamer throws him outside. We take a break and come back with Burke grabbing a chinlock. Dreamer fights up so Burke punches him down, only to get caught with a flapjack. Burke is back up with a whip into the corner and there’s the headstand elbow for two but Dreamer is right back with the DDT for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. This felt really fast and ultimately, neither option was all that interesting. Burke vs. Punk has been done several times and Dreamer getting a title shot is only there for nostalgia. It actually would have been more interesting to have Stevie Richards in this spot, though I can get why WWE would not want to go there.

Post match Armando Estrada says the Elimination Chase isn’t over, so Dreamer has to beat one more man to win the title shot.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Big Daddy V

V slams him down and hits a falling headbutt before standing on….the ropes near Dreamer. The closeup showed that V wasn’t actually touching Dreamer, showing that closeups are not always a good idea in wrestling. V tosses Dreamer again but misses a headbutt, allowing Dreamer to strike away. That doesn’t matter as V hits a big boot and a Samoan drop, setting up the big elbow for the fast pin. I’m not wild on them throwing in a last second curve like this but it means Dreamer doesn’t get a feature match so things are looking up.

Overall Rating: C. Other than the Miz/Mahoney/Kelly Kelly stuff, this was all about going to the more logical title match rather than Burke or Dreamer. It might not make sense for what they have been doing over the last few weeks, but it is the right call for what they have available. Not a great show, but it dragged them to the better option for No Mercy.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: September 25, 2007
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Tazz, Joey Styles

Things are in a bit of a weird place at the moment as CM Punk is the ECW World Champion but doesn’t have the best crop of challengers. The Elimination Chase is still going, but none of the three involved are the most interesting. The good sign is that the Chase gives us some other story outside of what Punk is doing so maybe there is some hope. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Elijah Burke vs. Kevin Thorn

Whoever takes the fall is eliminated from the Elimination Chase To No Mercy. Thorn elbows Dreamer out to the floor and slams Burke for an early two. Burke is back with a hiptoss as Dreamer finally gets smart by letting the other two fight. That lasts all of a few seconds before Dreamer goes back inside to beat on both of them. Back up and Thorn sends Dreamer shoulder first into the post before they go to a pinfall reversal sequence. Burke comes in to trade covers with Dreamer as well and we take a break.

We come back with Dreamer slugging away at Thorn, who takes him down into a chinlock. Dreamer gets knocked outside and dropped, leaving Thorn to beat on Burke. An over the shoulder backbreaker gives Thorn two but Burke hits him in the face. Dreamer comes back in to put Burke in the Tree of Woe, only to have Thorn cut Dreamer off. Burke hits Dreamer in the face but Dreamer goes up top for a super sunset flip on Thorn. The Texas Cloverleaf has Burke in more trouble until Thorn makes a weird save. The DDT plants Thorn, only to have Burke throw Dreamer outside to steal the pin on Thorn.

Rating: C+. I’m still not sure why one of them didn’t just walk to the back at the bell and leave the other two to fight it out. That being said, I don’t think there is going to be much drama in next week’s #1 contenders match, though I think I’d rather have Dreamer get in there over Burke, just for some variety. They did keep the match moving here so at least it wasn’t boring on the way to a not that shocking result.

CM Punk talks to some backstage workers but runs into Matt Striker with Big Daddy V. Striker accuses Punk of being truant and suggests he goes back to school. Punk says he liked school, so Striker threatens him with Big Daddy V. Punk doesn’t seem scared.

Raw Rebound.

Nunzio vs. Mike Knox

Knox throws him around without much effort as this seems like it could be a bit one sided. Nunzio gets knocked outside before it’s a backbreaker, with Nunzio’s back being bent over the knee back inside. An elbow and legdrop get one as Nunzio gets to show some heart. Knox misses a charge in the corner though and some kicks to the leg take him down. Back up and Knox kicks him in the head for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. Just a step above a squash here and that isn’t the most interesting moment. Knox isn’t exactly coming off as someone who is going to be a big player, but at least he has the slightest bit of name value. Maybe they can come up with something for him as ECW could certainly use some new, or at least fresh, stars.

SAVE US video.

Miz vs. Silas Young

Extreme Expose is here with Miz, including Kelly Kelly with Balls Mahoney’s bear. Young grabs a hammerlock to start so Miz elbows him in the face. Some choking keeps Young down in the corner and the Reality Check gives Miz the fast pin.

Post match here is Balls Mahoney to ask Kelly Kelly out again. This time she gets a microphone, but Miz takes it away and says Kelly will give him an answer. Miz decks Mahoney with the mic and the other two girls have to drag Kelly away from him.

Steve Austin signed copies of the Condemned DVD.

Elijah Burke comes up to Tommy Dreamer in the back and laughs off the idea of Dreamer being able to hang with him next week. Dreamer says he has heart, which is more important than athleticism. Eh not really.

Matt Striker vs. CM Punk

Non-title and Striker has Big Daddy V in his corner. Punk grabs a headlock to start and then hits a hard shoulder. A legdrop gets an early one before a charging Striker is backdropped out to the floor. Punk stops to look at V though and gets his arm sent into the steps. Back in and Striker clotheslines him down for two and we hit the top wristlock to stay on the arm.

Striker dropkicks him down again and we’re back to the top wristlock. The bad arm is sent into the rope before Striker gets two off a running knee. Now it’s time to bend Punk’s fingers apart, including Striker saying Punk is a Big Daddy V fan. That’s too far for Punk as he makes the comeback, including a bunch of clotheslines. The GTS finishes Striker clean.

Rating: C-. There wasn’t much on this one but was anyone going to buy Striker as a serious threat to Punk? This was more about V being the big monster that is probably coming for Punk on Striker’s orders. Striker can do some basic stuff well enough but that is about all you’re going to get out of something like this.

Post match Big Daddy V comes in to Samoan drop Punk to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Well, they are starting to get some more stories going but most of them still aren’t all that interesting. The show just does not have the star power to keep me drawn in most weeks and that is a problem. Maybe John Morrison coming back next week could help, but the show needs some more names than just him. Not a bad show, but also not an interesting one.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: September 18, 2007
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re done with Unforgiven, where CM Punk retained the ECW World Title over Elijah Burke. That means we are going to need a fresh challenger but I have no idea who that is going to be. There just aren’t that many stars to come after the title and hopefully they can fix that up somehow soon. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Elijah Burke for a chat. Burke wants to congratulate CM Punk on retaining the title at Unforgiven but Punk got away with one. If they fought ten times, Punk might win once so Burke will be ready for him next time. Cue Kevin Thorn to say it is time for someone else to get a title shot. Burke’s mouth is why he quit the New Breed and if Burke doesn’t shut up, he’ll make Burke disappear. Thorn sounds like he has mob connections. Cue Tommy Dreamer, who Burke calls a fossil, to say that unlike them, he is a former ECW Champion.

Thorn doesn’t seem to think that means much but here is Stevie Richards to interrupt. Burke: “Who is next? The Blue Meanie?” Dreamer doesn’t want him out here but Richards says he is the only person who didn’t get pinned last week. Cue Armando Estrada to say none of them are getting a title shot. Over the next three weeks, there will be the Elimination Chase To No Mercy, starting with a fatal four way tonight. Four will enter and three will continue on to next week, which we’ll start right now. I’ve heard worse concepts.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Stevie Richards vs. Kevin Thorn vs. Elijah Burke

We’re joined in progress with the four paired off and Dreamer sending Burke into the corner. Thorn runs Dreamer over with a shoulder and sends him outside for a whip into the steps. Burke sends Richards throat first into the bottom rope but the referee is busy with Dreamer. Richards takes Burke down for a kick to the back but Burke is back up with some rolling German suplexes.

Thorn rips Dreamer’s arm against the post as Burke misses a charge in the corner. Richards gets dropped again to give Thorn two as Burke is back up with the handstand elbow drop to Dreamer in the corner. Some kicks to the legs give Richards no count on Thorn as the referee is out of position AGAIN. The villains are sent outside, leaving Richards and Dreamer to go into a pinfall reversal sequence for two each.

Dreamer clotheslines Richards over the top and out to the floor but gets decked by Thorn. Burke and Thorn slug it out with Burke knocking him outside, allowing Richards to hit a dive off the steps. That leaves Burke to dive onto both of them but he gets pulled out of the air, allowing Dreamer to hit a dropkick through the ropes to put all three down. We take a break and come back with Richards getting two on Dreamer.

Thorn grabs a torture rack on Burke and drops him down into a backbreaker, only for Dreamer to put Thorn into a Texas Cloverleaf. That’s broken up almost immediately so Richards kicks Thorn in the face. Dreamer adds a DDT for two with Burke making the save. Burke goes up but Richards is right there to chop away at him, with Thorn coming in to make it a Tower of Doom. Dreamer hits a top rope splash on Richards, giving Thorn and Burke the double pin to eliminate Richards from the competition.

Rating: C. The biggest problem here was the refereeing, as there were multiple covers that were completely ignored because the referee was elsewhere. That works every now and them if it is planned, but having it take place over and over just makes things look amateurish. At the same time, Richards being eliminated took a lot of the fun out of this, as he would have made an interesting challenger for Punk. Certainly more interesting than Burke (again).

Post break, Burke comes up to CM Punk and asks him to sign the latest WWE Magazine. That way it can be a collector’s item after he takes the ECW Title from Punk, who isn’t convinced. Punk wishes him luck, but Burke reminds Punk that he said luck is for loses. Punk: “That’s why I said it.”

The Miz brings out Extreme Expose for a performance, with Layla pulling the teddy bear that Balls Mahoney gave to Kelly Kelly in the corner.

Balls Mahoney vs. Mike Knox

Miz and Extreme Expose are here too, including Kelly Kelly with the teddy bear. Knox runs him over to start and hits a quick legdrop to set up the chinlock. That doesn’t last long so Knox kicks him in the face for two instead. We’re right back to the chinlock but Mahoney fights up again and starts the snap jabs. The sitout spinebuster gives Mahoney the fast pin as Knox is already falling back down the card.

Post match, Miz and Extreme Expose go to leave, but Mahoney asks Kelly Kelly on a date. She smiles doesn’t say no, which Mahoney takes as a yes. That doesn’t sound like the best thought process.

Video on Big Daddy V vs. Boogeyman, with V being the only person who can crush Boogeyman.

Big Daddy V vs. Boogeyman

Matt Striker is here with V. Boogeyman is foaming at the mouth to start so V headbutts him down without much trouble. A running shoulder cuts off Boogeyman’s comeback attempt and they head outside where V runs him over again. There’s a whip into the steps to drop Boogeyman again and V stands on him inside. The neck crank doesn’t last long as Boogeyman fights up and tries the chokebomb for some reason. The swinging Boss Man Slam sets up the big elbow to finish Boogeyman fast.

Rating: D. This is a fine example of “well what were you expecting” as V is the unstoppable monster who gets to run through everyone before someone finally slays him. That is the right way to go as you don’t see too many people like him and Boogeyman is expendable in a spot like this one. The match itself wasn’t the point, but rather making V look like a killer, which is what they did.

Overall Rating: C-. What mattered here was starting up some new things, such as V’s monster push taking a step forward and the Elimination Chase. It might not be great, but it is going to give some of the people something meaningful to do for the next few weeks. That has been missing badly around here and it is a nice relief to see things starting to open up. It wasn’t a great show, but it was an encouraging one after so many fairly lame weeks.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: September 11, 2007
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 5,200
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We are officially in a new era around here as CM Punk has defeated John Morrison to become the new ECW World Champion. Odds are Morrison gets a rematch whenever he gets back from his suspension, but we’ll need someone else on the way there. I’m curious to see how that goes, but they could use some other important stories around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at Punk winning the ECW World Title from John Morrison last week.

Opening sequence.

Here is Armando Alejandro Estrada to introduce CM Punk. Estrada says he’s glad to have Punk as his champion because he was always a big fan. That sounds good to Punk, who has a gift for Estrada: his very own CM Punk shirt! Actually he’ll do even better than that, so Punk whips out a Sharpie and signs it. Punk wants him to try the shirt on, because now is not the time to be shy. Estrada wasn’t just lying when he said he was a big fan right? After some coaxing that borders on threatening, Punk gets him to put the shirt on over his suit.

Cue Elijah Burke to interrupt though, with Estrada saying that Burke is Punk’s opponent at Unforgiven. With Estrada gone, Burke asks if Punk is done playing dress up. Burke is here to congratulate him no the title win, but hold on because we have WHAT chants. He was the first person to see Punk’s talent and even brought him into the New Breed. That being said, Burke can see himself taking that title, because he is just flat out better than Punk at everything. Punk thinks that future is from a broke magic 8 ball, so Burke needs to look at the here and now. Burke shoves him away and gets kicked in the head to clear the ring.

Miz vs. Tommy Dreamer

Extreme Expose is here with Miz but the fans are behind Dreamer as he grabs a headlock to start. A running clothesline puts Miz on the floor but he’s right back in with a catapult to send Dreamer throat first into the bottom rope. Dreamer catches him on top though and it’s a superplex to bring Miz back down. There’s a catapult into the corner and a reverse DDT gives Dreamer two, as Miz gets a foot on the bottom rope. Back up and Dreamer misses a charge into the post, setting up the Reality Check to give Miz the pin.

Rating: C-. Not a great match, but they were rushing through on the way to Miz getting another win. Despite not being the most serious guy in the world, Miz is slowly being built up into a little something around here. That is something that could go somewhere, but it might be as more of an annoyance to Punk than a serious threat. Still though, that’s quite the turnaround after only being in the ring for a fairly short while.

Post match, Kelly Kelly still doesn’t look happy.

Post break, Balls Mahoney gives Kelly Kelly a teddy bear, but she leaves before she gets too emotional.

Matt Striker vs. Nunzio

Big Daddy V is here with Striker. Nunzio knocks him into the corner to start but V pulls Striker out of the way. The missed charge lets Striker grab the rollup pin.

Post match, V gorilla presses Nunzio face first onto the turnbuckle and causes him general physical damage. The Boogeyman pops up on the Titantron and reads a version of Humpty Dumpty to set up his match with Big Daddy V next week.

We look back at the reveal of Hornswoggle as Vince McMahon’s illegitimate son.

Balls Mahoney vs. Mike Knox

This is Knox’s return after a fairly lengthy absence. Mahoney works on the wrist to start and hammers away at the jaw. Knox runs him over though and pounds away as we see Extreme Expose (Brooke has the bear) watching in the back. A chinlock with a knee in Mahoney’s mouth doesn’t do Knox much good as Mahoney is right back with the snap jabs. Knox shrugs them off though and kicks Mahoney in the face for the pin.

A smiling Miz approves of the beating.

Unforgiven rundown.

We look at CM Punk winning the ECW World Title again, albeit in a different video from earlier.

CM Punk/Stevie Richards vs. Elijah Burke/Kevin Thorn

Burke drives Punk up against the ropes and we actually get a clean break. With that going nowhere, it’s off to Richards vs. Thorn, with Stevie managing to kick him down. Punk comes back in for some kicks of his own and the good guys start taking turns on Thorn. Richards finally gets taken into the corner corner and Thorn busts out a torture rack of all things.

With Richards dropped, it’s back to Burke to plant Richards in the corner. The elbow in the corner and some stomping get two on Richards and we hit the front facelock. Burke misses a charge into the corner though (WAY too common this week) and the hot tag brings in Punk to clean house. A few clotheslines set up the GTS to finish Thorn.

Rating: C. Pretty run of the mill tag match here with Punk getting to overcome the odds and win in the end. It keeps Punk looking strong going into his first title defense, which should be a pretty academic win, but you have to put in a bit of work. Other than that, you have Richards getting a nice little bounce back, which he needs after the loss to Thorn.

Punk stares Burke down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. As has been the case for a pretty good while now, it is clear that ECW needs some fresh blood, just for the sake of getting some new stars and stories going. Mike Knox could help that a little bit, but I’m not sure how interesting that is going to be. Punk winning is a big deal, but reheating his feud with Burke isn’t going to be the rocket up to the next level. This was a fairly uninteresting show and that’s a bad sign for the start of Punk’s title reign.

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: December 19, 2006
Location: Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, Virginia
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re almost done with the year and I’m not sure what that is going to mean for this week. Last week’s show felt like a total throw away episode, but I’m curious about how much of that was over the big shakeup behind the scenes. Hopefully they don’t wait until the new year to fix things up. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Bobby Lashley for a match but first we see some shots of Lashley in Iraq to visit the troops earlier this month. Also before the match, Lashley talks about what the title means to him and stops reflect on the Big Show. If Show ever wants it back, come take it from him whenever he wants.

Lashley gets a little emotional before saying the fans can vote on who gets an ECW Title shot in two weeks. Their choices are Rob Van Dam, Sabu and Test with voting online. Lashley plugs Tribute To The Troops but here is Rene Dupree to interrupt. Dupree rips on the troops, who needed the boost because they are losing over there. He is challenging Lashley, who hits him in the face to start in a hurry.

Bobby Lashley vs. Rene Dupree

Non-title. Lashley slams him, shrugs off a poke to the eye, slams him two more times, and then sends it outside. Dupree manages a quick knee life and a neckbreaker over the ropes, setting up the chinlock. That’s broken up and Lashley hits the delayed vertical suplex, meaning it’s the Dominator for the fast pin.

Matt Striker vs. Balls Mahoney

Brad Armstrong of all people is on commentary here. Mahoney charges in and punches Striker down to start as we discuss where Armstrong is from. Striker takes him down and chokes with the shirt for a few near falls in a row. The armbar goes on but Mahoney rolls him into the corner for the break. There are the snap jabs but Mahoney blocks the low blow and takes him down again. The guillotine legdrop misses though and Striker hits the Golden Rule (that always weird move where he puts his knee behind Mahoney’s head and spins him back to drive the head into the knee).

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much to see here and the really dumb looking finisher didn’t make it better. Striker vs. Mahoney is the kind of feud that makes a lot of sense, but you’re only going to get so far with Striker in general. He’s a good heel, but he’s a good midcard heel at best, so hopefully they don’t try to go much higher with him than this.

Test says he should get the title shot because he has beaten Rob Van Dam over and over and Sabu is just another victim.

Rob Van Dam remembers being ECW Champion and promises to get the title back if he gets the chance.

Here is Hardcore Holly for a chat. Holly says that there is an ugly rumor that he tapped out to CM Punk last week. What really happened was the referee had to step in and save Punk’s life. Punk can’t make him tap out, so get out here right now. Cue Punk, but Holly says Punk only has three minutes to make him tap.

Hardcore Holly vs. CM Punk

Three minute time limit so Punk goes straight for the Anaconda Vice. With that not working, it’s off to a lockup with Holly taking him into the corner at a minute in. Holly takes him down and gets in a kick to the head before tying Punk up in the ropes. We’re down to a minute left as Holly puts on the chinlock. That’s broken up and Punk goes for the Vice again but time runs out.

Rating: D. Much more of an angle than a match here and there is only so much you can do in a three minute match involving a chinlock. Punk not being able to make Holly tap in three minutes doesn’t exactly make him look bad, and we should be in for a rematch sooner rather than later. Punk is on the rise and a definitive win over Holly should help him a lot.

Post match, Holly hits the Alabama Slam.

Shannon Moore runs into Daivari and gets a match with Great Khali for his transgression.

Video on Tribute to the Troops.

Great Khali vs. Shannon Moore

Khali throws him into the corner to start as here’s Tommy Dreamer to chair Daivari down. As we look at that, Khali finishes with the double chokeslam.

Post match Khali goes outside and knocks the chair away from Dreamer, setting up another double chokeslam onto the steps (THUD). Khali takes Daivari to the back.

Video on Sabu.

Dreamer is taken out on a stretcher.

See No Evil is on DVD.

We look at Mike Knox attacking Kelly Kelly two weeks ago.

Knox says he dumped Kelly because he is the victim. What if your girlfriend or wife kept taking her clothes off? She never hid her feelings for CM Punk so he stopped hiding his true feelings. It hurt him more than it hurt her.

Test vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu

Joined in progress with everyone down on the floor until Van Dam takes Test back inside for a superkick. The standing moonsault gets two but Van Dam gets shoved off the top and into the barricade for his traditional crash. Sabu is back up as well and gets crotched on top to put him in trouble again.

Van Dam comes back in for the Tower of Doom and a pair of near falls. A flip over Sabu sets up a clothesline to Test and some double teaming gets two each. There is Rolling Thunder for two more on Test and he is sent outside. That leaves Sabu to hit the springboard leg lariat for two but Van Dam crotches him on top. The Five Star hits Sabu but Test comes in and decks Van Dam to steal the pin.

Rating: C-. This might not have been the most interesting match and the ending is about as played out of a triple threat finish as you are going to get, but it was a smart decision. Test isn’t going to win the fan vote, but now he has a reason to get a title shot later on if that’s where you want to go. Given how few options ECW has for a major Lashley match, Test is as good as anyone else they could throw out there at the moment. Smart booking to a pretty weak match.

Post match we get the results of the fan voting:

Van Dam – 45%

Test – 18%

Sabu – 37%

Van Dam is pleased but gets big booted by Test. With Test gone, Van Dam gets up and bows to Sabu, as the big boot might have kept him down for five seconds.

Overall Rating: D+. Another not very good show, but the big upgrade over last week was they actually had a point this time around. There was a focus on the title and getting Lashley a new challenger, which at least made the show seem somewhat important. They have a long way to go and I hope that it gets better in the near future, but this was at least a step above last week.

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: December 5, 2006
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re officially done with December To Dismember and for all intent and purpose, done with the original version of the relaunched ECW. This is now the third brand instead of something that has any kind of unique feeling to it and that is going to make for a pretty interesting change going forward. Bobby Lashley is now ECW Champion so let’s get to it.

Here is December To Dismember if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Bobby Lashley winning the ECW Title inside the Elimination Chamber.

Paul Heyman was in tears after the pay per view, as Big Show is not only the former champion but his blood is also on Heyman’s tie. The rematch is this week….and that’s the last we’ll see of Paul Heyman for five and a half years.

Opening sequence.

Rob Van Dam/CM Punk vs. Test/Hardcore Holly

More Chamber fallout. Punk and Van Dam dedicate the match to Sabu because he should have been in the Chamber with him. Holly starts with Van Dam as the lights seem to be flickering a bit. Rob kicks him down to start and hits a split legged moonsault to the back. Test pulls him to the floor though and stomps away, followed by Holly grabbing a suplex for two back inside.

It’s off to Test to hit a basement clothesline for two and Holly comes back in to get kicked in the face. The hot tag brings in Punk to strike away, followed by the bulldog out of the corner. The Alabama Slam is countered into the Anaconda Vice but here are Heyman’s security guards for the DQ.

Rating: C-. They didn’t have much time to work with here but it kept Van Dam and Punk strong (outside of the Chamber at least). Test and Holly might as well be Goon #1 and Goon #2 at this point, though I’m not sure who is supposed to replace them on the heel totem pole. They’ll do fine for now though.

Post match the beatdown is on but Sabu, with his arm in a sling, makes the save. Van Dam hits a Five Star and Sabu adds the Arabian Facebuster.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Daivari

Rematch from December to Dismember though Dreamer is mostly destroyed after being attacked by Great Khali on Sunday. Daivari dropkicks him down but Dreamer, with his shirt torn to exposed the bandaged shoulder, comes back with a spinebuster. The DDT finishes Daivari in a hurry.

Post match here is Great Khali to beat down Dreamer, including the chokeslam onto a chair.

BUY THE DECEMBER TO DISMEMBER REPLAY!

Next week’s show is on Saturday.

Big Show promises to win the title back because it took five people and a bunch of weapons to beat him. Tonight, he is taking the title back. This was as old school talk to the camera style as you are getting in this era.

Kelly Kelly vs. Ariel

Kelly is here by herself and looks terrified. Kevin Thorn is here with Ariel….or at least he is until he is ejected before the match. The catfight is on to start and Kelly grabs a rollup for the pin in less than a minute.

Post match here is Mike Knox with flowers to make peace with Kelly. He apologizes for what he did at December To Dismember and gets on his knees to beg her forgiveness. Then he dumps her and hits a swinging neckbreaker before walking out. Tazz of all people gets in to check on Kelly.

Kane is still in See No Evil and it’s still on DVD.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Bobby Lashley

Show is challenging. Lashley slugs away with right hands to start until an elbow to the face cuts him down. Back up and Lashley starts going after Show’s arm but Show shrugs it off and puts on a kneeling bearhug. Lashley fights out but gets run over with ease and we take a break.

We come back with Lashley’s crossbody being countered into a World’s Strongest Slam for a near fall. Show stands on his back but Lashley manages to come back with a flying shoulder for two. That earns him a kick to the face to give Show two more and there’s a suplex to cut Lashley off again. We hit the abdominal stretch on Lashley with Show adding some right hands to the ribs for a bonus.

With that broken up, Lashley slugs away to little effect as Show puts him on top. A headbutt drops Show and Lashley nails a flying shoulder. More clotheslines put Show down again but the spear is countered with a chokeslam for two. Lashley can’t quite hold him up for a slam but it was close enough for two. A big boot and a clothesline sets up another slam (much better this time) for the pin to retain the title.

Rating: C-. Pretty dull match here that went longer than it needed to. Lashley getting the clean win over Show is a way to remove the basically non-existent doubt over his initial title reign. Show beat Lashley up and Lashley made his comeback to retain. What more else can you ask for in a match like this? This would be it for Show for over a year, so at least he went out putting Lashley over again.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t much of a show but then it’s kind of hard to get overly annoyed at this when everything was changing behind the scenes. I’m curious to see where things go from here, but it isn’t like what happened before all of the changes was all that great. Hopefully the new direction is better, though it’s not like there is any track record around here.

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December To Dismember
Date: December 3, 2006
Location: James Brown Arena, Augusta, Georgia
Attendance: 4,800
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Well here we go. For the first time ever, the reincarnated ECW is getting its own pay per view and we have two matches announced on the way in. One of those matches features two teams who aren’t on ECW and the other is the EXTREME Elimination Chamber. This is not exactly looking promising but let’s get to it.

The opening video entirely focuses on the Chamber, with nothing else getting any focus. So half of the matches got a look, so maybe things are looking up.

Hardys vs. MNM

This is the result of the Hardys’ open challenge and neither of the teams are on ECW. Matt starts with Mercury and shoulders him down, meaning it’s already off to a double standoff. With that settled down, Mercury shrugs off some arm cranking and hands it off to Nitro as everything breaks down again. The Hardys clean house and it’s Nitro blocking Jeff’s jawbreaker and taking him into the corner to put him in trouble for the first time.

Jeff isn’t having that either and fights out, allowing the tag off to Matt to pick up the pace again. Melina offers a distraction though and MNM manages a double gutbuster to take him down. A double belly to back faceplant gets two on Matt but he manages a double DDT. Jeff gets knocked off the apron and it’s MNM hitting Poetry In Motion to rock Matt again. Not that it matters as Matt fights up and makes it over to Jeff for the hot tag a few seconds later anyway.

Everything breaks down again and it’s time for the parade of dives onto the floor. Back in and Nitro hits a springboard missile dropkick for two on Jeff. A double catapult sends Jeff face first into the buckle and Mercury cranks on both of Jeff’s arms for a bit. Jeff gets flipped into the corner and some forearms to the back keep him in trouble. There’s a slingshot elbow for two and we hit the reverse chinlock.

With that broken up, another double catapult is countered as Jeff comes back with a double Whisper in the Wind. The hot tag brings in Matt, including the middle rope legdrop for two on Nitro. Back up and Nitro snaps off a super hurricanrana on Jeff but the Hardys get up again and nail stereo superplexes.

With Jeff up first, Melina gets on the apron but her slap is blocked by Jeff grabbing his arm. Jeff steps away and Nitro dropkicks Melina by mistake, setting up a rollup for a rather hot near fall. The Snapshot gets two with Matt making the save so MNM puts Jeff on top. Matt makes another save and neckbreakers them down, setting up the Swanton onto the two of them for the double pin.

Rating: B. It’s rather good and I don’t think anyone should be surprised by that. You had two great teams going at it in a twenty minute match. I’m not sure how this couldn’t be good, though it’s kind of disappointing to hear that both teams are splitting up after this. It doesn’t make sense given how good this was, but it isn’t like WWE really cares about the tag division anyway.

Commentary hypes up the Elimination Chamber. It isn’t a good sign that they need filler like this.

Rob Van Dam is ready to take the risks for the chance to become ECW Champion again.

Here’s Matt Striker for a chat and it’s time to go downhill. Striker talks about the chaos and destruction that is coming tonight in the Chamber. He asks the fans if they want to see someone like him in an extreme rules match. The fans approve, so Striker is going to be in an EXTREME RULES match tonight. Now that means an EXTREME enforcement of the RULES of course, meaning no eye gouging, hair pulling, coming off the top or foul language of course. Let’s see how extreme his opponent can be.

Matt Striker vs. Balls Mahoney

Mahoney throws him down to start so Striker comes back with some forearms. That’s broken up so Mahoney tries a cross armbreaker of all things, with Striker going straight to the ropes. More forearms to the back stagger Mahoney and striker sends him shoulder first into the post. A Regal Cutter gives Striker two and it’s time to crank on the arm.

Mahoney comes back with right hands to the face (Striker picks no eye gouging but ignores punches from a guy with a signature sequence involving punches to the face. Right.) but gets pulled into a Fujiwara armbar. That’s broken up and Mahoney’s arm gives out on the snap jab attempt. Striker crotches him on top and the Fujiwara armbar goes on again. Mahoney fights back up with a belly to back suplex and now the punches work. The sitout spinebuster finishes Striker off.

Rating: D. Ignoring the fact that we’re on pay per view, this wouldn’t have even been a good TV match. Striker wanted the rules enforced and then they had a regular match. Having Mahoney win was one of the two ways they could have gone, but if this was their way of giving the fans something to cheer for, we’re in a lot more trouble than I thought.

Brian Pillman has a DVD (not on Peacock obviously).

Sabu has been attacked. After losing on Tuesday, it isn’t like he had any momentum or chance anyway. So yeah he’s not likely for the main event and you can hear the BULLS*** chants as we come back to the arena.

Sylvester Terkay/Elijah Burke vs. FBI

Trinity is here with the FBI. Before the match, Burke promises that they will leave their mark like a wild beast in heat. Commentary drools over Trinity as Guido and Burke (in a hat) start things off. Guido takes him down (and steals his hat) by the arm and hands it off to Mamaluke. A few fans try a WHERE’S MY PIZZA chant ala the original ECW because he thinks it is still alive.

Terkay misses a splash in the corner but manages to pull Guido’s high crossbody out of the air. After Terkay throws the FBI outside, it’s back in for a chinlock from Burke. Guido fights up and hands it off to Mamaluke so the pace can pick up. A double dropkick into a double flapjack gets two on Burke but Terkay gets in a cheap shot from the apron. The Elijah Experience finishes Mamaluke.

Rating: D+. Slightly better match but that is mainly due to having slightly more interesting people involved. Terkay and Burke are two more people who don’t really feel like they belong in ECW but at least they did something here and add a little variety. Not much of a match, though you have to take what you can get on this show.

Post match, Terkay hits Guido with a MuscleBuster for a bonus.

CM Punk and Rob Van Dam watch Sabu being loaded into an ambulance.

Daivari vs. Tommy Dreamer

Great Khali is here with Daivari, who rants about how Khali in Farsi. Daivari hammers away to start but a glare from Dreamer sends him bailing outside (just don’t let Dreamer talk). Back in and a hiptoss sends Daivari right back to the floor but this time he comes back in with a dropkick. There’s a baseball slide to put Dreamer on the floor but he reverses a whip to send Daivari into the barricade.

Back in and Khali low bridges Dreamer right back to the floor, earning himself an ejection. The fans say they want hardcore but get a neck crank into a chinlock instead. Dreamer fights up drops backwards onto Daivari for the break, followed by a reverse DDT for two. The Death Valley Driver is broken up but Daivari catches him on top. That means the Tree of Woe into the running dropkick…..but then Daivari rolls him up with tights for the pin.

Rating: D-. Gah no. Another nothing match here which would have been bad either here or on television and that is hardly the kind of thing that is going to make the show better. The ending was pretty awful as Dreamer just started to get going and then Daivari pinned him without much thinking. Bad match, bad setup and worse ending, especially on this show.

Post match Dreamer chases Daivari up the stage, where Khali catches him with the tree slam. Therefore, we pause for Dreamer to be checked on but then get up.

Paul Heyman puts Hardcore Holly into the main event to replace Sabu. This is booed out of the building.

Kelly Kelly/Mike Knox vs. Ariel/Kevin Thorn

Oh this could be trouble. Before the match, Kelly wishes CM Punk luck in the main event. The guys start (thank goodness) by shoving each other around before Thorn clotheslines him down and grabs a quickly released neck crank. A hard clothesline cuts Knox down again and we hit another nothing chinlock.

Knox fights up with a slam for two and kicks Thorn in the face for a knockdown. This time it’s Knox cranking on Thorn’s neck but Ariel makes the save. She even stays in this time and wants Kelly to join her, meaning it’s time for a lot of hair pulling (Striker disapproves). A boot choke in the corner has Tazz losing his train of thought and an ax handle to the back cuts Kelly off again. Kelly manages to kick Ariel away though….and Knox walks out on her, leaving Ariel to hit a choke STO for the pin.

Rating: D-. It was a nothing match and the high point was Mike Knox vs. Kevin Thorn. This is airing on pay per view and would have been an ice cold match on TV in addition to the match being terrible as a bonus. I didn’t think this show could actually fall even further but this pay per view continues to amaze me.

Post match the beatdown stays on but Sandman makes the save. Thorn gets caned down and beer is consumed.

We get a video of Michael Cole running down the Armageddon card. Also not on Peacock.

Bobby Lashley says it is his destiny to win the title.

Video on the Elimination Chamber. Notice the high level of padding tonight.

We’re still not ready yet though as here is Paul Heyman, with security, for a chat. Heyman talks about how Hulkamania will die with Hulk Hogan and WOO will die with Ric Flair. ECW will live on behind him though, with Big Show as its champion. The days of Sandman and Sabu and Tommy Dreamer are over and it is the ECW of the Big Show. Now lower the Chamber!

ECW Title: Big Show vs. Hardcore Holly vs. CM Punk vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Test

Show is defending in the Extreme Elimination Chamber, meaning there is a weapon in each pod. Hardcore Holly is in at #1 and Rob Van Dam is in at #2 and there are five minute intervals. Holly takes him into the corner and starts kicking away but Rob pops up and gets sent into the cage….but holds onto the side because he can. The spinning high crossbody only hits the rope though and Van Dam crashes down again. Van Dam gets sent into the cage again but manages to get a boot up to cut off a diving Holly.

Rolling Thunder over the top rope hits Holly but he suplexes Van Dam back inside. There’s the dropkick and it’s CM Punk with his chair in at #3. A monkey flip sends Holly onto the chair and Punk kicks Van Dam down. The chair is wedged in the corner and Van Dam, who has been busted open somewhere in there, is sent hard into it. Punk kicks him again but Holly is back up with a side slam. Holly drops Punk onto the top rope and there’s a top rope superplex to take him down again.

Test, with his crowbar, is in at #4 and hits Punk in the ribs before clawing at Van Dam’s cut. Punk grabs a Stunner on Test of the top rope and the bloody Van Dam kicks Holly in the face. Van Dam skateboards the chair into Punk in the corner and hits the Five Star for the pin and the elimination for Punk’s first pinfall in WWE. Test kicks Holly in the face for an elimination, even if the count didn’t seem to go down properly. Van Dam goes up top but Test chairs him in the knee and pulls him right back down in a crash.

An elbow off the top of the pod onto the chair onto Van Dam is good for the elimination, meaning that the countdown to Lashley is official. It also means that the ring is clear, save for Test, for about a minute and a half because this match can’t time things either. Bobby Lashley with his table is….not allowed to get in because test and the security guards block the door. That’s fine with Lashley, who uses the table to break the roof open and climbs through the top. Eh points for a cool entrance.

Lashley unloads for a bit until Test gets him into the corner for some choking. Lashley suplexes him down, hits him with the crowbar, and nails a spear for the pin. Therefore, let’s wait a minute and a half before Big Show with his barbed wire baseball bat can come in at #6 to give us the showdown. Lashley has to use the chair to shield himself with the bat but manages to knock Show outside anyway. Show is sent through the pod to bust him open but he knocks Lashley down again. Back in and the chokeslam is countered into a DDT, followed by a spear for the pin and the title.

Rating: D. And that’s probably high. This was a really dull Chamber with the two badly times falls that left them sitting around with nothing to do for a few minutes. The match is less than twenty five minutes and you knew that Lashley had the title won with about ten minutes to go.

Look at the participants here. Van Dam, Show and Lashley are fine, but that leaves you with three pretty weak choices. Punk would go on to become a huge star, but at this point he had been around for a few months with his career consisting of feuds with Shannon Moore and Mike Knox. That is kind of lacking in any kind of meaningful wins in WWE and it showed badly. The other two are Test and Hardcore Holly as a replacement. That leaves you with three options, but Test dominated a good portion of the middle. That’s the best they could put together and that should tell you a whole low.

The show was long past the point of saving by the time we got to the match, but then they had this boring mess to make it even worse. There was no drama, the popular guys were done in less than fifteen minutes and the weapons managed to make it less violent than the previous Elimination Chambers. Not the worst match of all time, but pretty horrible and probably the worst Chamber match to date, if nothing else for the star power included and the lack of drama near the end.

Lashley’s pyro celebration ends the show.

Overall Rating: F. What is there to say about this show? It’s a good match, then a C level version of the C level TV show and a huge main event which bombed as hard as anything in recent memory. This show felt slapped together and I would bet on the middle four matches being thrown together earlier in the day. Outside of the opener, the best match on the card was the FBI vs. Sylvester Terkay and Elijah Burke. Do you get how far you have fallen to have those four in second place?

This show made it very clear that WWE did not care about ECW and there was no stopping the show’s collapse even further into nothingness. There was no effort, there was one good match out of six (featuring people not from ECW) and the main event was a mixture of predictable and bad. This is what we got for the first ECW pay per view, which does at least give us a special milestone.

With this show, you can officially say that the new ECW is done. There wasn’t much to the show coming in and then it got even worse here. The show resulted in Paul Heyman leaving WWE and ECW, making this nothing more than the dumping ground for the people with nothing else to do. It was clear that the show wasn’t going to mean anything and once Heyman left, there was no reason to pretend anymore.

Heyman argued with Vince McMahon about the show both before and after, resulting in Heyman walking out on the company and not being seen again for over five years. Heyman’s idea was to have Punk make Show submit early and win the title, which worked fine for Show. Instead, Punk goes out first to end his undefeated streak. Heyman knew that things were done so he left, and after this debacle, can you really blame him?

One thing that doesn’t get the attention it deserves is the middle of the card with the four matches between the two they actually advertised. Striker vs. Mahoney is at least a logical way to go and Daivari vs. Dreamer has been built up a bit on TV. That leaves you with a tag team squash and a mixed tag with three heels and Kelly Kelly. I know WWE has a lot of problems, but they know how to throw together a four match series better than this. This felt like they were trying to troll the fans (or at least Heyman) and with none of these matches even hitting eight minutes, the lack of effort is pretty clear.

This show is about as perfect of an example of a show where WWE didn’t care and we were just left to get over it. It was a week after Survivor Series and two weeks before Armageddon, so in addition to treating the fans to an awful show, how many fans who watched or heard about the show passed on the next show because of what WWE delivered here?

This didn’t feel like a pay per view (a two hour and fifteen minute run time, comparable to Coliseum Videos didn’t help either) and it has absolutely earned the reputation that it maintains. I know it isn’t quite the same thing as a top level WWE pay per view, but it is hard to think of anything that the company has released that is near its level. This show is a complete disaster and one of the all time bombs on pay per view.

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Survivor Series 2006
Date: November 26, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,400
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I’ve always been a big Survivor Series fan and there is something great about seeing a milestone show with the 20^th edition. On top of that, we have three elimination tag matches for a change and the card looks pretty awesome. Then again that has been the case with several shows before and you never know if it is going to live up to the hype. The big non-elimination match is Batista vs. King Booker for Book’s Smackdown World Title so let’s get to it.

The opening video briefly talks about the anniversary before moving on to a traditional hype video looking at the big matches.

Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad

Legends: Ric Flair, Sgt. Slaughter, Dusty Rhodes, Ron Simmons

Spirit Squad: Kenny, Johnny, Mikey, Nicky

Arn Anderson and Mitch are at ringside. The Squad has been insulting Flair and the rest of the legends so it’s time to go to school. Simmons is replacing the injured Roddy Piper and scares Mikey down to start. A powerslam drops Mikey again and it’s a bunch of clotheslines to take the rest of the Squad down. Mitch offers a distraction though and Simmons goes out after him.

The stalking and watching Anderson beat up Mitch take a bit too long though and Simmons gets counted out. Simmons takes Mitch to the back with him and Anderson is ejected (with the fans NOT approving). That means Nicky gets to come in and request a salute from Slaughter, who works on his arm instead. It’s off to Flair for some shots of his own before handing it back to Slaughter for the cobra clutch. Kenny gets in a kick to the back of Slaughter’s head though and the mostly out Nicky gets the pin.

Dusty comes in for the Bionic Elbow to get rid of Nicky and it’s 3-2. Some jabs get Dusty out of the corner but a rollup is enough to finish him off. That leaves Flair alone against Kenny/Mikey/Johnny but Flair grabs a rollup and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin. A small package gets rid of Kenny, meaning Flair can chop Johnny and put him in the Figure Four for the fast tap. Flair beat the last three of them in about two minutes.

Rating: D. The wrestling wasn’t the point here of course and it isn’t like the Squad means anything in the first place. Flair can beat all of these guys without breaking a sweat and he came pretty close here. The team almost has to be done now and that is going to be better for Raw at this point. The idea wasn’t going to work no matter what they did so to get as much as they did out of them is impressive enough. Pretty bad in-ring stuff, and that was never the point.

Post match the big beatdown is on with no one coming out for the save.

We recap Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero for Benoit’s US Title. Benoit thinks that Chavo and Vickie Guerrero are taking advantage of Eddie Guerrero’s estate but they told him to stay out of their business (a fair point). Chavo beat Benoit up and tonight he can win the title.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo, with Vickie, is challenging. Benoit starts very fast with a slam into a backbreaker for two, followed by easily winning a strike off. A snap suplex and slam get two each on Chavo as JBL says Chavo made Rey quit like a little girl. I’m almost scared to imagine when/how JBL made a little girl say she quit. Chavo comes back with a series of strikes and sends Benoit hard into the post.

There’s a Saito suplex for two and the armbar goes on. Benoit gets creative with a Samoan drop to escape but Chavo dropkicks him right back down. A suplex sets up the frog splash for two but Chavo stops to yell some more. Benoit fights up again and knocks Chavo away for a needed breather so Vickie gets on the apron. After dealing the pesky manager, it’s the Crossface to retain the title.

Rating: C. That is pretty much it for Chavo being seen as anything serious as he loses the big showdown after Benoit kicks out of his finisher. What other reason is there to buy into him at this point? Chavo was not exactly a can’t miss prospect here anyway and it’s ok for him to not win, but this should wrap it up on him being seen as a serious villain, at least for the time being.

Lita, with Edge, affirms that she is still retiring after her title match against Mickie James no matter what. Edge makes fun of Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb while Cryme Tyme sneaks in and steals a box. Edge rants about DX as Cryme Tyme sneaks out of the room.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Mickie James

Lita is defending and gets driven into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs to start. Some kicks to the ribs slow Mickie down and Lita counters a headscissors out of the corner by slamming Mickie down on her face (the simple ones always work). The fans deem Lita a “crack w****” as she gets some near falls. With the chant down, Lawler is right there with more jokes about Lita as the bodyscissors has Mickie in trouble.

Lita misses a splash of all things, sending Lawler into the joy of hope over a wardrobe malfunction. Mickie kicks her in the face for two but the hurricanrana out of the corner is countered into another faceplant. The Litacanrana gets two but the DDT is countered with a grab of the rope. They trade rollups for two each until Mickie hits the MickieDT for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. The match was about what you would expect from a big Raw showdown but what matters is passing the torch (which Mickie has held before). The bad thing here was the amount of jokes at Lita’s expense, as commentary laid it in even thicker than usual. I know she’s leaving, but WWE can be rather cruel with these things at times, which was the case here.

Post match Lita insists on being called the greatest of all time but has to rant at the fans for disrespecting her so much. Cue Cryme Tyme with the box, sending Lita further over the edge. It’s time for a “ho sale” but it’s cash only. First item up is some yeast infection medicine, followed by some underwear (which JBL wants to smell before buying). Something that vibrates goes for $25 and finally, Lita’s box (it’s cheap and wide) is a hot item to wrap it up. Kind of a cruel way to go, but at least it saves them the cost of a trash bag (April 2021 reference for those of you reading this in 3847).

Earlier today, Batista wouldn’t answer any of Michel Cole’s questions. After a clip of the beatdown on Smackdown, Batista says he’s leaving as champion.

Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO

DX: HHH/Shawn Michaels/Matt Hardy/CM Punk/Jeff Hardy

Rated-RKO: Edge/Randy Orton/Gregory Helms/Mike Knox/Johnny Nitro

The fans are way into Punk so HHH lets him ask if they are ready. The bell rings and HHH has Kelly Kelly get on the apron for a better view (while covering Shawn’s eyes of course). The distraction lets Shawn hit the superkick for a fast pin and elimination. Shawn chops away at Nitro and hands it off to Jeff to knock him down as well. Helms comes in to take Matt down and it’s Edge coming in as well to stomp away.

The villains start taking turns on Matt, who has to cover up from Nitro’s right hands to the head. Matt kicks him away and brings Punk in, much to the fans’ delight. Matt’s neck snap across the top sets up a Rock Bottom into the Anaconda Vice to eliminate Nitro. Orton dropkicks Punk down and Helms takes over with a front facelock to keep him on the mat for a bit.

The yet to be named Codebreaker connects for Helms and the RKO gets two with HHH making a save. It’s back to HHH for the jumping knees to the face as everything breaks down. Jeff and Shawn hit some dives onto the floor, leaving HHH to bust Helms’ spine. The Twist of Fate into the spinebuster gets rid of Helms and it’s Rated-RKO against all five members of the other team. Rated-RKO try to leave but get thrown back inside for Poetry in Motion into Sweet Chin Music to get rid of Edge. Another superkick into the Pedigree finishes Orton for the win.

Rating: D+. How weird is it to see a squash in a Survivor Series elimination match? Granted the talent on one side was completely nuts but my goodness man. This was completely one sided and I’m not sure how wise that was. Rated-RKO were decimated here, Helms’ title somehow lost even more value and Nitro was just a guy. It was fun, but I’m not sure if this was the smartest move.

We recap Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker. Kennedy is the latest young guy to go after Undertaker and say he is the new big star. This time Kennedy even managed to bust Undertaker open with his microphone so tonight it’s a First Blood match, which seems like a nice way out of having someone take a fall.

Mr. Kennedy is ready for his match but MVP gives him a pep talk anyway.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

First Blood. Kennedy hammers away to start and gets knocked over the top for his efforts. Undertaker sends him face first into the announcers’ table and then throws Kennedy over it for a bonus. Some headbutts have Kennedy in pain and there’s a big boot to to drop him again. Kennedy is back up with a whip into the steps but gets posted to cut that off in a hurry. Back in and Undertaker hits a top rope superplex but Kennedy is back with a low blow.

Undertaker doesn’t seem to mind and kicks away at the ribs before hammering away in the corner. Another low blow slows Undertaker down but Kennedy’s nose is busted. Cue MVP to towel Kennedy’s blood off….and throw Kennedy back inside as payback for Kennedy doing the same thing on Smackdown. Kennedy hammers away but here is MVP with a chair, which hits Undertaker by mistake (in theory) to bust him open. The referee finally sees it to give Kennedy the win.

Rating: C. The ending sets up a few more things, including MVP’s complete and utter destruction. Much like MVP winning the cage match against Kane on Smackdown, this is the kind of win that helps make Kennedy look that much more important. Of course it would be better to have Undertaker get pinned, but that isn’t something that happens very often so take what you can get here. Granted that’s Undertaker beating Kennedy up for most of the match and then getting cheated at the end, though I doubt Kennedy would mind.

Post match Kennedy brags about the win and talks a lot of trash, allowing Undertaker to wrap a chair around Kennedy’s head. Kennedy is busted open and Undertaker gives him a nasty Tombstone. The gloves come off and some bare knuckle punches have the bloody Kennedy bleeding even more. The referee drags him off.

Queen Sharmell gives King Booker a pep talk so Booker can monologue about how this is it for Batista.

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

Cena: John Cena, Bobby Lashley, Rob Van Dam, Kane, Sabu

Big Show: Big Show, Finlay, MVP, Test, Umaga

Cena avoids Umaga’s charge to start and sends him outside. Everything breaks down and Umaga hits Cena in the ribs with a TV monitor for the fact DQ. We settle down to Test elbowing Van Dam in the corner and planting him down so MVP can come in with the chinlock. Van Dam, with his nose bleeding, fights up and scores with the spinning kick to the face.

More kicks put all of the villains down and it’s Kane kicking MVP in the face. The Five Star gets rid of MVP but Test is right there with the big boot to eliminate Van Dam. Test sends Sabu outside but Lashley nails a spear, allowing Sabu to hit a tornado DDT for the pin. Show comes straight in to chokeslam Sabu for the pin as these eliminations are flying by. The Leprechaun comes out to give Finlay the Shillelagh and a shot to the head rocks Kane, setting up a chokeslam so Big Show can get rid of him too.

So it’s Cena/Lashley vs. Show/Finlay with Show powerslamming Cena in a hurry. Finlay comes in to stomp away but Cena gets in a knockdown of his own. That’s enough to bring in Lashley and everything breaks down again. A double clothesline drops Show but here’s the Leprechaun, who is thrown onto Cena. The distraction lets Lashley spear Finlay down for the pin and we’re down to 201. Cena manages to DDT Show and there’s a double suplex to put him down again. The finishing sequence is initiated and the FU finishes Show.

Rating: D+. his match, which featured eight eliminations, is now the longest match of the night at about twelve and a half minutes. I’m not sure why we need to go that short with everything but it has been a problem with almost everything on the show. Cena and Lashley teaming up to take out Show worked, but was there really any need for five eliminations in less than two minutes?

We recap Batista vs. King Booker for the Smackdown World Title. Batista had to vacate the title earlier this year due to an injury in this very building. It is his missing to get it back but Booker isn’t going it up so easily. If Batista loses, he can never challenge Booker for the title again.

Smackdown World Title: King Booker vs. Batista

Batista is challenging and starts fast by jumping him before the bell. They get inside to officially start the match with Batista hammering away in the corner. The threat of a Batista Bomb sends Booker bailing to the floor and the fans aren’t pleased. Back in and Batista hammers away even more but a hot shot gets Booker out of trouble. A catapult sends Batista throat first into the bottom rope and Booker stomps away even more.

Booker pokes him in the eye but you don’t need two eyes to hit a side slam for two. They head to the apron for a slugout with Batista knocking him back in. Sharmell grabs the leg though and Booker kicks him out to the floor again. Back in and Booker pounds him down into a chinlock as Cole asks JBL what it feels like to try and get the title back. JBL: “I’m not a loser Michael. Bring up something else.”

Batista fights up and hits the clotheslines into a big boot to send Booker outside. That means a whip into the steps, followed by a top rope shoulder (dang) for two back inside. Booker is right back with a Bookend for two but Batista is up with the Batista Bomb. They’re right next to the rope so Booker saves himself, allowing Sharmell to hand him the title. A Sharmell distraction doesn’t work though as Batista ducks the shot and takes the belt away. Batista’s belt shot is enough for the pin, the title, and the energized celebration.

Rating: D, This really didn’t work and the ending was stupid. How much of a conqueror does this make Batista, when he needed a belt shot to beat Booker? It’s a reclaiming the glory story and that should work, but the lack of drama didn’t help anything. Pretty awful main event with the main bright spot being the fact that they didn’t go long here. It’s the longest match of the show at less than fourteen minutes and it felt every one of them.

Batista celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. For a show that looked pretty fun on paper, this wound up being a nearly complete miss with nothing worth seeing, a bunch of matches that felt rushed, and a World Title change in the end that was about as lame as possible. These Survivor Series matches are supposed to be about hanging in there over a grueling match, but Finlay and Benoit had a match on Smackdown that was longer than anything here. It wasn’t the worst show, but someone needs to teach them how to Survivor Series.

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