WWF House Show
Date: April 22, 1985
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund

This is one of those random house shows that was put up on the WWE Vault channel and there is a good chance that it was put up forty years to the day. We are just a few weeks after the first Wrestlemania and that means it is time for the fairly unexplored fallout period from the then biggest show of all time. Let’s get to it.

Junior Heavyweight Title: The Cobra vs. Barry O

Cobra is defending but doesn’t have the belt here, which has commentary confused. O (short for Orton, and he has a nephew named Randy) jumps him to start fast, with a slam and jumping elbow getting two. Cobra gets sent outside, followed by a neck crank back inside. A running in place powerslam gives O two and we pause for O to grab his own head. Cobra breaks out of a front facelock and slugs away, setting up a slam int a legdrop for two.

O kicks his way out of a sunset flip but gets caught in a headscissors, which has Monsoon annoyed at the referee for checking for a choke. That’s broken up and O hammers away, only to get backdropped into an armbar. As commentary talks about the various champions and contenders, O breaks out but gets caught with a top rope forearm to the head. A middle rope knee gives Cobra two but O gets in a shot of his own.

O’s rope walk splash misses and Cobra just starts slugging away with forearms, setting up a jumping spinwheel kick (that was a big spot in this era). A stomp to the stomach has O bailing to the floor for a needed breather before coming inside to beg for mercy. O grabs the leg for a spinning toehold but Cobra is right back up with another spinning kick. A dropkick puts O on the floor, setting up the slingshot dive. Cobra suplexes him back inside but misses a top rope backsplash. Back up and Cobra grabs a jumping hurricanrana for the pin to retain at 13:20.

Rating: B. Oh man this was starting to get really good in the end but they went home when they should have. The biggest issue here was the clash of styles, as Cobra was wrestling a more lucha style match while O was your traditional heel. Cobra was WAY different than almost anything you would see here and O kept up with him as well as he could. This was a lot of fun and WAY better than I would have expected.

Tatsumi Fujinami vs. Matt Borne

You know, because we needed another big international star. Fujinami isn’t interested in a handshake to start so they fight over a lockup and go to the ropes. Some forearms have Borne down as commentary talks about Fujinami’s footwork. A headlock takeover lets Fujinami crank on him a bit, with Borne getting up. Fujinami backflips out of a suplex and we’re right back to the headlock takeover.

Back up and some shots to the face have Fujinami in trouble for a change, allowing Borne to yell at the referee. The chinlock goes on, allowing Borne to yell at commentary for a change. The choking continues so commentary talks about Jack Nicholson (Okerlund: “One of the biggest athletic supporters in southern California.”). Fujinami fights up, only to get pulled back into a headscissors as I’m not sure if this is the best way to use his talents.

Borne cranks away for a bit before hammering away in the corner. A front facelock keeps the bored fans all the more bored, as does Borne cutting off the comeback attempt. Fujinami finally fights out of a chinlock and hits a dropkick for two. A clothesline puts Borne down again and a bridging German suplex finishes him off at 11:31.

Rating: D+. Gah what was that? This was the clash of styles I was expecting in the opener and it was rough to see as a result. Borne was wrestling a basic style and didn’t let Fujinami do much of anything. You’re only going to get so much out of any legend when you have Borne holding him in a front facelock for so long and it killed anything they could do here.

Jimmy Hart is ready for King Kong Bundy to wreck Swede Hanson. Bundy says Hanson is tough but he’ll look small when they’re in the ring. Then it’s time for Hulk Hogan.

Swede Hanson vs. King Kong Bundy

Hanson is a big guy from North Carolina. They fight over a lockup to start as we hear about Bundy’s nine second win at Wrestlemania, because timing isn’t wrestling’s strong suit. Hanson gets in a shot of his own to rock Bundy and the fans rather approve. Back up and Hanson is rocked with a running forearm but he comes back with a forearm to stagger Bundy again.

Bundy rakes the eyes though and slowly hammers away before sending Hanson face first into the buckle. The slow beating continues as commentary lists off the reasons this company is so awesome. Hanson starts Hulking Up (as Monsoon puts it) and some chops put Bundy in the corner. That’s cut off by a quick Avalanche into a big elbow to give Bundy the pin at 4:38.

Rating: C-. While still not a good match, this was Hanson making Bundy sweat a bit more before Bundy put him away. You could clearly see that Bundy was being built up for something bigger down the line and that would probably be someone in red and yellow. Having him beat various people over and over would build him up and that’s what we saw here.

British Bulldogs vs. Rene Goulet/Johnny Rodz

This is the Bulldogs’ MSG debut as the new generation is coming in. Rodz and Kid start things off but we pause for Goulet to do his thing with his glove. Actually Goulet starts and they lock up after nearly a minute of shenanigans. Kid’s headscissors doesn’t get him very far so he spins around into an armbar to take Goulet down instead. Smith comes in and actually gets shouldered down before Rodz throws her over the top.

Back up and Smith hits a quick dropkick before a knee to the ribs cuts him off again. Kid comes in with a missile dropkick for the save (that didn’t look great) into a nipup (that looked better), followed by a gutwrench suplex for two. Rodz breaks up the chinlock and Goulet comes back in for a knee drop. Kid avoids a diving headbutt though and it’s back to Smith, who is taken down as well.

Rodz elbows Smith down but misses a legdrop, meaning the vertical suplex can connect for two. It’s back to Goulet, who grabs a test of strength on the mat, only to get monkey flipped away. Smith muscles Rodz up for the running powerslam and then fireman’s carries Goulet. Kid climbs onto Goulet’s back and hits a top rope headbutt to pin Rodz at 8:12.

Rating: B-. Not a great match, but you could tell the Bulldogs needed some better opponents. They were a great example of a team with a nice balance of power and speed and it worked well. The finishing sequence alone felt like something different than anything else you would have seen around this time and if you get them the right competition, it would go great.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Moondog Spot

Steamboat starts fast with a hiptoss into a pose into a chop to the floor as the fans seem to like Steamboat so far. Spot stays on the floor long enough that Steamboat goes outside and counters a headlock into a posting. Back in and Spot takes over with a shot to the face and an atomic drop, setting up the chinlock. That’s broken up and Steamboat gets his usually great looking sunset flip which is blocked with a shot to the head.

It’s back to the chinlock as you can see why the Moondogs aren’t so well remembered in the ring. Back up and they collide for a double down, with Steamboat not being able to slam him either. Spot’s shoulder breaker gets two so he goes up, only to get slammed back down. Steamboat strikes away, setting up the high crossbody for the pin at 7:25.

Rating: C+. Steamboat knows how to make a comeback like no other and that was the case again here. Spot wasn’t exactly great in the ring but at least he was able to be a good opponent for Steamboat. Granted it helps when you’re in the ring with one of the best ever, as Steamboat was certainly able to make anyone look good.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Magnificent Muraco

Hogan is defending (shocking I know) and Muraco has Mr. Fuji with him. There are no entrances here, which means they didn’t want to edit out Eye Of The Tiger for Hogan. The place is just nuts for Hogan, even if he’s in the always weird looking white gear this time. A hiptoss and jumping knee send Muraco outside, followed by an armbar back inside.

That’s reversed into a slam but Hogan pulls him back down into a hammerlock (which didn’t seem to be the plan but they made a bit of a botch work fine). A legdrop onto the arm keeps Muraco in trouble and another armbar has what’s left of the arm in pain. Back up and Muraco seems to go low, setting up a pull of the leg to take Hogan down.

Muraco starts cranking on the leg but Hogan fights up and hits the corner clothesline. The big elbow misses though and Muraco drops some knees to keep Hogan down. The piledriver doesn’t work for Muraco and it’s time to Hulk Up, even though Hogan doesn’t quite have the sequence down yet. Muraco gets kicked out to the floor and Hogan follows, only for Fuji to offer a distraction. A ram into the apron/post keeps Hogan down for the countout at 13:36.

Rating: C+. This was a way to set up the rematch for the next month and that’s a fine way to go. Muraco is someone who was just big enough to feel like a threat without actually being one, though the fact that he wasn’t on Wrestlemania is a bit odd. Nice enough match to set up the ending though, with Muraco surviving most of the Hulk Up, which will make beating him all the better next time.

Post match Hogan grabs the belt and wants to keep fighting but cuts Muraco off from getting the title and chases him away.

Iron Sheik vs. Mike Rotundo

Freddie Blassie and Lou Albano are here too as Rotundo starts fast, taking Sheik down with a slam before he can even get his gear off. Sheik gets choked with his robe and sent outside for a needed breather. Rotundo grabs a headlock on the mat and cranks away a bit, followed by a sunset flip for two.

Back up and Sheik gets in a suplex before knocking Rotundo outside in a heap. A chinlock into a hammerlock doesn’t last long on Rotundo, who is back up with an atomic drop. Rotundo grinds away on a front facelock before sending Sheik outside for a change. Back in and Rotundo keeps it on the mat with a headlock, which makes sense for two people with deep amateur backgrounds.

Sheik comes back with some choking and sends him to the floor for a chair shot, which is fine with the referee for some reason. The abdominal stretch goes on, followed by the gutwrench suplex (which someone needs to bring back) but Rotundo manages his own suplex for two. Sheik misses a running knee in the corner and gets rolled up for the pin at 14:32.

Rating: B. This wound up being a heck of a match and probably the best Rotundo match I’ve ever seen. Sheik is best known as being almost a caricature for most of his career but he could have a good outing when he had the chance. This was a good example of two people having similar styles and meshing well together and that’s not a bad way to go.

Barry Windham vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Ah so it’s this kind of a show. Albano and Blassie are here again too. Windham works on the arm to start and cranks away at a wristlock. A rollup gets two on Volkoff and he claims a pull of the trunks. To be fair, there is quite a bit of trunk to pull. The arm cranking resumes with an armbar having Volkoff down but he comes back with a shot to the face. Some stomping has Windham in trouble and one heck of a gorilla press sends him flying.

The bearhug stays on the back, with Volkoff lifting him up and smiling about it like an evil powerhouse should. Windham fights out and grabs a sleeper, followed by a dropkick and atomic drop. A headbutt gives us a double down before Volkoff misses a charge into the post. Windham hammers away in the corner but the Iron Sheik comes in for the DQ at 12:29.

Rating: B-. This was another match that took me by surprise as the idea of Volkoff wrestling a good one is quite the odd thing to see. What matters the most here is that both guys were working hard and it was a solid showdown that made me want to see these teams fight again. Which they would, with Windham and Rotundo winning the titles back in about two months.

Post match the beatdown is on until Rotundo makes the save. Not bad for about thirty minutes between two singles matches to set up a tag rematch here. Though a six man tag with the managers would have been fun too.

The Fink hypes up the next MSG show on May 20. We run down the card, with Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff defending against the US Express (Windham/Rotundo) and Muraco vs. Hogan II. There is a bonus match too though, as Brutus Beefcake and Johnny V will team up against David Sammartino (the fans know what’s coming and are more than up for it) and….BRUNO SAMMARTINO (and there’s the monster pop).

Tito Santana and Junkyard Dog are ready for Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake.

Tito Santana/Junkyard Dog vs. Brutus Beefcake/Greg Valentine

Johnny V and Jimmy Hart are both here with the villains. It’s a brawl to start with Beefcake and Valentine being knocked to the floor in a hurry. We settle down to Dog and Beefcake running the ropes to start with Dog knocking him down without much trouble. Valentine’s cheap shot from the apron doesn’t work as Beefcake runs into him, allowing Santana to come in.

Santana whips them into each other again and grabs a chinlock on Beefcake. That’s broken up and it’s off to Valentine for a gutbuster to drop Santana. The chinlock goes on for a bit before Beefcake sends Santana outside. Back in and Valentine slowly hammers (there we go) away before Beefcake uses the trunks to cut off a tag attempt. Santana fights up and hammers away, which brings in the other two.

Okerlund is begging for a double DQ but we settle back down. That doesn’t last long as Santana crawls around and gets over to Dog for the house cleaning. A falling headbutt gets two on Valentine but a second one misses as we settle down a bit. Beefcake and Valentine work on Dog’s leg but he gets over to Santana to slug away on Valentine, which just feels right. Santana’s big clothesline gets two on Valentine as everything breaks down again. The flying forearm is enough for Santana to pin Valentine at 13:14.

Rating: B-. There are certain pairs who are going to work well together no matter what they do and that is the case with Valentine and Santana. Those two could have turned a boat race into an exciting match and they made this into an entertaining tag match. If nothing else, it’s interesting to see what very well may have been the future Dream Team’s first match, only a few months before they would win the Tag Team Titles. Solid main event here, as Santana goes from starting Wrestlemania to closing the follow up show.

Post match the villains beat the winners down.

After a break, the arena clears out and the ring is swept of trash as commentary wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B. This was a heck of a show with some rather good matches (the opener, the Tag Team Title singles matches and more) and stuff to make you want to come back later. It’s interesting to see this period as well, as you pretty much don’t have much outside of Saturday Night’s Main Event to tide you over between the first two Wrestlemanias. The crowd was certainly still hot and it made for a good show here. You could definitely get the Wrestlemania fallout vibes here and that is a good sign for the coming months. I had a lot of fun with this and could definitely go with more from this era, which is critically overlooked.

Results
Cobra b. Barry O – Hurricanrana
Tatsumi Fujinami b. Matt Borne – German suplex
King Kong Bundy b. Swede Hanson – Elbow drop
British Bulldogs b. Rene Goulet/Johnny Rodz – Swan dive to Rodz
Ricky Steamboat b. Moondog Spot – High crossbody
Magnificent Muraco b. Hulk Hogan via countout
Mike Rotundo b. Iron Sheik – Rollup
Barry Windham b. Nikolai Volkoff via DQ when Iron Sheik interfered
Tito Santana/Junkyard Dog b. Brutus Beefcake/Greg Valentine – Flying forearm to Valentine

 

 

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WWF House Show
Date: October 19, 1986
Location: The Summit, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 1,700
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Ken Resnick

So I’ve been watching a lot of old house shows on the Network as of late so I might as well try throwing some of them on here as well. This is just after The Big Event so Hulk Hogan vs. Paul Orndorff is the hottest feud in the history of ever. That’s on the card tonight, so we should be in for a big one. Let’s get to it.

Note that this is NOT the complete show, which was normal for old TV shows. I’ll fill in the gaps of the missing matches.

Also note that this is listed as taking place at the Sam Houston Coliseum but everything else I can find says the Summit.

We’re skipping Mike Rotundo vs. Jim Brunzell going to a time limit draw (at 13:55) and Bret Hart pinning Ray Rougeau.

The Summit holds about 16,000 so that attendance is horrible.

Brutus Beefcake vs. SD Jones

Jones is a perennial jobber, likely because SD stands for Special Delivery. Brutus struts to start and then does it again for a bonus. After being sent outside, Brutus comes right back in and hammers away to take over. Some elbows to the head in the corner have Jones in more trouble and a middle rope elbow to the head gets two. Jones gets in a few right hands but Brutus is back with the jumping knee for the pin at 5:26.

Rating: D. Yeah what were you expecting here? Beefcake really wasn’t very good at this point and it would take a long time before he turned into something worth seeing. Jones was one of those guys who was always around but didn’t do much, aside from getting squashed by King Kong Bundy at the first Wrestlemania. This was a pretty weak match, but the high knee didn’t look bad.

Skipped: Big John Studd beats Big Machine.

Greg Valentine vs. Steve Gatorwolf

Gatorwolf’s gear looks so much like Chief Jay Strongbow that I was surprised to see who it actually was. The announcers immediately compare him to Strongbow so I’m not as crazy as it seems. Valentine starts fast for a change and drops an elbow before starting in on the arm. Gatorwolf finally armdrags his way to freedom but the arm is so banged up that Valentine wraps it around the top rope.

We hit the armbar for a good bit until Gatorwolf starts fighting back with the chops to the head (because stereotypes die hard). With the arm work exhausted, Valentine starts in on the leg and gets the Figure Four, but Gatorwolf is right next to the rope. A middle rope elbow misses so Valentine grabs a suplex instead for the pin at 8:31.

Rating: D-. This was an extended squash and not a very good one. Valentine is only so interesting in these short form matches and then the ending was rather weird. The Figure Four was on and then it was a suplex just a few seconds later. You can’t have STEVE GATORWOLF give up to a former champion? Gatorwolf wasn’t exactly helping things either, but this wasn’t going to be very entertaining given how things were set up.

Iron Sheik vs. British Bulldog

The British Bulldogs are Tag Team Champions here so they need to build up some challengers. A Nikolai Volkoff distraction lets Sheik get in an early cheap shot and Bulldog is sent outside. Back in and Bulldog hits a slam as Volkoff comes over to commentary, where Monsoon calls him a liar. An armdrag into an armbar has Sheik in more trouble but he gets in a kick to the face.

Some spitting makes things a little more personal and there’s a backdrop for two on Bulldog. Sheik is back with a rather hideous abdominal stretch attempt so Bulldog hiptosses out with ease. That means a USA chant because of course but Sheik takes Bulldog down again. The camel clutch goes on but Bulldog is too close to the rope. The running powerslam only gives Bulldog one (!) but Volkoff pulls Bulldog’s leg for the DQ at 6:05.

Rating: D. The abdominal stretch alone set this one back and I’m not sure how much worse it can get. More bad wrestling here as neither was exactly the kind of guy you expect to take control at this point. Bulldog was the power half of a tag team and Sheik was so out there that you wouldn’t likely be able to trust him to do much. Another bad match, which isn’t much of a surprise at this point.

Post match the beatdown is on but Dynamite Kid runs in for the fast save.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Paul Orndorff

Hogan is defending and can lose the title via DQ. This was the biggest feud in the world at this point and Orndorff, with Bobby Heenan, even stole Real American in an idea that I would love to see used again. Orndorff jumps Hogan (in a dark gray Hulkamania shirt for a change) and they start fast. Hulk fights back with right hands so Orndorff goes for the throat to cut that off in a hurry. With nothing else working, Hogan grabs a VERY early chair but realizes he can’t use it, instead going with a right hand to the face.

The Heenan distraction lets Orndorff get in a knee to the back and Hogan is out on the floor. Back in and Orndorff stomps away, followed by some choking with the leg for a bonus. The backbreaker gets two but it also triggers the Hulk Up as things get serious. A slam sets up the legdrop….for no cover, as Hogan sends him outside instead. The referee again says no chair so they head back inside, where the big boot sends Orndorff to the floor again. Heenan isn’t happy so he yells at the referee, allowing Hogan to hit Orndorff with the chair for the countout win at 6:07.

Rating: D. They even made a Hogan match boring on this show! This was barely anything of note and Hogan was a total villain with the chair stuff. I know he was angry at Orndorff but it was the usual Hogan does bad things and gets cheered anyway. Well as cheered as he can be by such a tiny crowd.

Yelling ensues post match and Hogan gives a rather crude gesture.

We skip Nikolai Volkoff beating Tama and Dynamite Kid pinning Moondog Rex. Those wouldn’t be likely to be the show’s saviors.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Moondogs, Hart Foundation, Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff, Dream Team, King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd, Machines, Rougeau Brothers, Killer Bees, SD Jones/Mike Rotundo, Islanders, Steve Gatorwolf/Chief Jay Strongbow, British Bulldogs

Non-title, the winners get $50,000 and if one member is out, the team is out. Studd is out in less than ten seconds so it’s time for everyone else to brawl. Jones and Rotundo are put out and Jim Brunzell has to save himself. Strongbow and the worthless Gatorwolf are eliminated, followed by the Harts and Rougeaus eliminating each other. The ring is starting to clear out a bit and the Machines follow them out.

Sheik gets rid of the Moon Dogs as the Bulldogs step back to let everyone else brawl (hence them being the champions). The Islanders get rid of the Dream Team and then the Bulldogs put them out as well. So we’re down to the Bulldogs vs. Studd/Sheik, meaning it’s time to pair off. Bulldog hammers away and suplexes Sheik but it’s too early for the elimination. Instead Volkoff gets in a cheap shot to elimination Bulldog for the win at 9:10.

Rating: D-. I’m not a big battle royal guy but this was boring by any standard. It’s like they just threw everyone in there and hoped for the best, even with little time and nothing more than a way to set up a future title match. If nothing else, look at this lineup and tell me how THIS is the best usage of all of these teams.

Overall Rating: F. Wow what a waste of time and this was the hour long version. There was no effort being put in here by anyone and they were having a show because they had to put one on. Maybe it was the tiny crowd, but this was a bunch of nothing matches and then a token Hogan vs. Orndorff match. This was one of the worst house shows I’ve ever seen and given the talent available here, that’s unacceptable.

 

 

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Tuesday Night Titans
Date: November 13, 1984
Location: Video One Studios, Owings Mills, Maryland
Hosts: Vince McMahon, Lord Alfred Hayes

Another request here, partially so I can say I’ve done an episode of this show. This is a bit of a different show as it’s mainly a talk show with wrestling guests. There would be matches included, though this isn’t exactly the best time period from a quality standpoint. I’m not entirely sure what to expect here but that’s the kind of show Tuesday Night Titans was. Let’s get to it.

I’m going to do my best on the dates/locations of the matches but it’s one of those shows that throws them them together from other TV tapings.

I can barely hear Hayes’ introduction over the REALLY loud intro music.

Vince and Hayes are on the talk show set to intro the show. We talk about Thanksgiving (this is being written two days before his year’s holiday so it’s kind of appropriate) with Vince promising to deliver a turkey in the form of first guest in Captain Lou Albano. Lou immediately lists off all of his accomplishments as a manager, which has to be some kind of a record (fourteen Tag Team Champions is pretty crazy).

He goes on a rant about how amazing athletes wrestlers are, even talking about Vince’s amateur wrestling credentials. Albano brags about his IQ of 901.73 back in his medulla ob-long-gata which makes him a linguist and a bi-linguist. Vince FINALLY cuts off this rather hilarious speech and throws us to a match.

From Hamilton, Ontario, Canada – October 29/30, 1984

Nick DeCarlo vs. The Spoiler

Spoiler, a big masked guy (I won’t say who he is in case you haven’t seen him before) has Albano in his corner. Before we get going, here’s Intercontinental Champion Greg Valentine (also Albano’s client) to say he doesn’t have any competition. Albano goes into a rant about how awesome Valentine is as the match starts. Valentine goes over to commentary to talk about how he wants respect as Spoiler throws DeCarlo into the corner. DeCarlo gets knocked outside, followed by a top rope clothesline back inside. A knee lift sets up the Claw to put DeCarlo away in a hurry.

Back in the studio, Albano apologizes to Hayes for not being a gentleman. Then he goes into a rant about Spoiler squeezing a ball in his hand until he got strong enough to break a pair of pliers. Now he can squash any wrestler’s skull. Vince: “Some skulls are softer than others.” As for Valentine, they might just retire the title. For now though, he’ll face any contender around.

Back from a break with Albano laid out on the couch with his shirt open as we get to our second guest: Barry Windham. Barry is a standard face but Albano laughs at him and talks about his own training style. Albano’s various stomach issues take us to the next match.

From Salisbury, Maryland – November 7, 1984.

Barry Windham vs. Charlie Fulton

An unnamed hillbilly is in the crowd. We’ll call him Jim and move on. Barry takes him down with a top wristlock before grabbing an armdrag into an armbar. That’s enough wrestling as Barry forearms him down and drops a knee for two. More right hands drop Fulton and a bulldog is good for the pin.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as Windham never felt right in the WWF. It was clear that he wasn’t exactly happy there as he would eventually self destruct, though at least he did have a nice run in the US Express. Fulton was a jobber to the stars around this point and that’s exactly what he was doing here.

Back in the studio, Albano makes more fun of Windham and eventually gives him some dieting advice. Oh and watch any match you’re not involved in. Windham calls him a slob so Albano calls him dehydrated and says if you put Windham’s brain in a parakeet, it would fly backwards.

We take a break and come back with Mike Rotundo as the third guest. Albano: “Take your hat off! You’re not in the barn!” Vince talks about Rotundo’s athletic accomplishments and again, Albano talks over him in a rather heelish way.

From the Hamilton, Ontario, Canada – October 29, 1984.

Barry Windham/Mike Rotundo vs. Mohammad Saad/Bobby Bass

Not quite the US Express just yet. Windham knocks Saad out to the floor to start as we hear about Windham and Rotundo’s background. Rotundo comes in for an armbar and Bass gets forearmed into the corner for his cheating efforts. The good guys start their fast tagging and work over Saad’s arm until a bulldog is good for the pin. Total squash.

Back in the studio, Rotundo threatens to shut Albano up. Windham and Rotundo talk about the various regional Tag Team Titles they’ve won, which you don’t hear about very often. Albano has been advising the current World Tag Team Champions (Dick Murdoch/Adrian Adonis) but Rotundo doesn’t think they need a manager at this point. Albano rants us to a break.

I’m not sure where the next match takes place. Vince says it’s from the Meadowlands in East Rutherford, New Jersey but I can’t find any record of these two ever having a match there. I can however find one from around this time in Toronto, which would make a lot more sense.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Rocky Johnson

Joined in progress with the announcers saying it’s in the Toronto area, meaning we’re in the Maple Leaf Gardens on October 21, 1984. Thanks for that, commentators. Johnson punches him in the jaw but doesn’t follow up. Well he’s never been the brightest guy in the world. A nerve hold (I think) takes Johnson down but some gyrating gets him back to his feet. Back up and a double shoulder puts them both down for a breather. Volkoff wins a test of strength and of course cheats as soon as Johnson starts coming back. A kick to the ribs sends Volkoff outside but he’s right back in with a hard forearm to the back. Johnson hits some of his always weird looking (though still fine) dropkicks, only to get dropped throat first across the top rope for the fast pin.

Rating: D+. Not a terrible power vs. speed match here with Johnson being more about charisma than his in-ring abilities. This was also back when Volkoff was looking like a powerhouse rather than the much bigger version that most people remember him as. It was easy to see why they ran Volkoff vs. Hogan so many times as this was during a big time in the Cold War and it was kind of a perfect matchup.

And now, COMEDY! Hayes brings out the world’s oldest wrestling fan, a man who appears to be about 94 years old (or about 40 and in bad makeup and a horrible wig) named Lloyd Lynch. He talks about his hometown of Cut and Shoot, Texas before nodding off for a second. His favorite wrestler was the Swedish Angel, a 300lb guy with a big bearhug that everyone loved. Vince has such an awkward look on his face and Lloyd makes it worse by talking about seeing the Angel in Madison Square Garden and squeezing a man’s hair off. That man turned into Gorgeous George and that’s how he got his start.

After talking a bit about meeting Vince’s grandfather and an award Vince’s father just received, it’s time to talk about women’s wrestling and Lloyd is already laughing. Apparently Lloyd remembers a women’s wrestling match from 1834 with Millie Lang Tree. He also knew some woman from Boston who defeated a 412lb wolf with a Boston crab in the back of a pickup truck at a drive-in movie in San Antonio.

As for Millie though, she used a double toe half nelson, which of course Lynch agrees to demonstrate. He pulls his leg up into the air….and hurts himself in the process. Thankfully that’s it and hopefully we never have to sit through something like this again. It was about as funny as being hit in the head with a box of hammers as they weren’t trying for anything more than redneck hillbilly humor with Lynch apparently being at least 110 years old. Just bad stuff here and something beneath even the WWF’s standards.

Thankfully we move on to the next guest: David Bruno Sammartino, who would later drop the Bruno and then realize that no one cared about Bruno’s really boring son. We hear about Bruno trying to keep David out of wrestling but David knew it was all he wanted to do. The Sammartino name isn’t a burden because it’s like being Rocky Marciano’s son. And now, a match.

From (I believe) the East Rutherford, New Jersey – October 14, 1984.

David Sammartino vs. Mr. Fuji

Joined in progress with David working on an armbar in front of a silent crowd. Gorilla calls a shoulder block beautiful and it’s right back to the armbar. Fuji comes back with a falling headbutt to the ribs and the slow motion continues with the fans still not caring. A stomach claw continues to be one of the dumbest moves of all time until Sammartino grabs the leg to escape. Fuji’s slow motion offense continues but David slugs away like his dad to the only reaction of the match. A kick to the ribs and a knee drop give David two and a small package puts Fuji away.

Rating: D-. The match was bad but I always feel bad for Sammartino. He always looked like he was trying but there’s just nothing there. Other than being Bruno’s son, there’s nothing about him that stands out. It’s not really surprising that he never went anywhere in wrestling and a lot of it probably comes from the pressure of being Bruno’s son. Really boring match here, which was common for David.

Back in the studio and thankfully Albano is back to talk about David’s physique. He likes what he sees in Sammartino and suggests that he eat lots of protein, including unborn virgin goat’s milk. Oh and change your name. Not bad advice actually.

We come back with our next guest: the huge Blackjack Mulligan, who brought the house band with him. He’s here to stand up for AMERICA and doesn’t want to hear about people like the Iron Sheik who doesn’t stand for AMERICA. Then you have people like Big John Studd, who just isn’t nice in general. After listing off a few more villains, it’s off to a match.

From Hamilton, Ontario, Canada – October 29, 1984.

Blackjack Mulligan vs. Ted Grizzly

Grizzly is billed from Morgan’s Corner, Arkansas, which was the hometown of Haystacks Calhoun. Mulligan shoves him down with almost no effort and forearms him in the chest. A drop toehold has Grizzly tapping but that wouldn’t mean anything for a good ten years. Grizzly’s right hands have no effect and a jumping back elbow to the jaw puts Grizzly away with almost no effort. The fans stand up and look at something in the aisle but we don’t get to see what it is. That might be a bit too interesting you see.

Back in the studio, Mulligan says he’s ready to face anyone, anytime. For tonight though, let’s bring out some square dancers! Seriously they come out and dance and time is devoured. Vince FINALLY throws it to commercial….but first we see a mechanical bull. Oh jeez here we go.

Back with Vince, Hayes and Mulligan standing next to the mechanical bull called Mr. Black. Mulligan doesn’t think much of Roddy Piper, who can’t shut up long enough to have a real talk. Blackjack doesn’t quite get how this wrestling thing works does he? Anyway he’ll be having his own talk show called Blackjack’s Barbecue where we can ask the real questions.

We go to Piper’s Pit where Piper mocks a rather muscular wrestler until Mulligan shows up and gets in Piper’s face. Mulligan calls him a pole cat (skunk for you city folk) and says he’s proud of his heritage….and that’s it.

Back in the studio, Mulligan talks about the use for mechanical bulls, which Hayes says he’s heard of being inside medieval dungeons. Vince is talked into getting on the thing and lasts a few seconds before falling off. And now, more from the band as this segment just keeps going for no logical reason. Hayes is put on the thing….and doesn’t ride because we go to a break.

After another break, Albano is going to answer some letters to give fans advice. First up, a woman whose husband won’t use modern hygiene products. Albano lists off a few ingredients to mix together, including olive oil and witch hazel, to put on him instead. It turns out that Albano doesn’t use such products either and Vince is disturbed.

The second question is from a woman with an obese husband who has heard of a book called the Fat Person’s Guide to Ecstasy. Albano has never heard of such a book and says the husband should lose weight. Then he lists off the book’s authors and thinks the husband should be on a low carbohydrate diet. There are fat people who are ok though, including the fat mamas who love him. You can eat anything you want, but only swallow half.

Third up is a wife with a husband who never takes off his cowboy boots. Albano thinks the husband has a bad smell and needs to lose weight. Maybe he should fill a bathtub with alcohol and walk into the thing. Albano is worried about what will happen when the guy dies and they have to take the boots off. That’s enough for Vince and we’re finally done. Another unfunny segment, though Albano’s insane charisma carried it as far as it could.

Back from a break with Vince and Hayes talking about the awesomeness that is Paul Orndorff. We get a highlight package on Orndorff’s career (despite him not being in the WWF for very long at this point), meaning some long clips of matches showcasing Orndorff’s strength. I was never a big Orndorff fan but he did have a great piledriver.

After a final break (thank goodness), it’s time for more Mulligan for more music and dancing, this time with Vince, Mulligan, and the rest of the guests joining in. Rotundo looks so out of place out there and it’s kind of funny.

Overall Rating: D-. Oh just no. I get the idea they were going for here but sweet goodness it wasn’t entertaining. The wrestling was a bunch of lame squashes and the “comedy” was somewhere between torture and just not funny. It’s a weird time for the company and while there was talent around, most of it wasn’t on display here. Albano was funny due to sheer willpower but you can only do the same jokes so many times.  This was horribly unentertaining and I’m kind of shocked this show got to 100 episodes.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

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