ECW on TNN
Date: August 4, 2000
Location: Astro Arena Pavilion, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We’re getting close to the end here with just ten episodes left in the series. Unfortunately things were picking up a little bit around this point as some of the stories FINALLY started moving forward. There are still about two months to go before Anarchy Rulz so we’re still weeks away from setting up the show’s card. Let’s get to it.

We open with the last thirty seconds of Rhino Goring Nova to retain the TV Title. Ok then.

Opening sequence.

After Joel talks about being with a stripper named Alexis in his Lexus here in Houston, Texas, here’s Cyrus to do the same thing these two always do. Cyrus brings up the attack at Heat Wave which was an assault because Cyrus isn’t a wrestler. Tonight though, he has a wrestling license and is ready to fight Gertner one on one. This brings out Spike Dudley in a suit jacket but Cyrus isn’t impressed. The announcers leave as Spike says Heyman isn’t here tonight because he’s busy in Los Angeles. Therefore, Spike is the booker tonight and he has an idea. Here’s our opening match.

Cyrus vs. Sandman

A single cane shot brings in Rhino and yeah this isn’t a match.

Justin Credible comes in and Tombstones Sandman, drawing Spike back in to take a beating of his own. Spike takes a piledriver off the apron and through a table, leaving Sandman to take a double beating. Chilly Willy comes out for the save and gives Cyrus a falcon arrow.

Little Guido vs. Mikey Whipwreck

They trade chops in the corner to start with Mikey hammering away in the corner before slamming Guido’s head onto the mat. Mikey has to avoid Sal to send him into the post before getting two off a superplex. Another distraction lets Tony Mamaluke come in for a double Russian legsweep from the middle rope for two on Mikey. At least he can competently cheat. Mikey’s running DDT changes momentum again and there’s the Whippersnapper, only to have Sal distract the referee. Mamaluke drops a top rope leg to break up the cover and chairs Mikey in the head. The Kiss of Death puts Mikey away.

Rating: C. Not the worst here as Mikey is still very underrated despite being a Triple Crown Champion. It’s nice to see them actually doing something with Mikey after all these vignettes but the FBI are only so interesting. At least they’re letting the talented one do the wrestling instead of Sal and his freak show “abilities.”

Post match the FBI goes after Mikey, only to have Tajiri of all people come out for the save.

Earlier tonight, Kid Kash gave Rob Van Dam something close to a sweat. As in as close as you can get with hurricanrana after hurricanrana with an occasional dive thrown in.

This episode is dedicated to Gordon Solie. Nothing wrong with that.

Tajiri vs. Steve Corino vs. Jerry Lynn

Corino is sent to the floor early and we get a very fast near fall sequence from Corino and Lynn. A Tarantula has Lynn in even more trouble until Corino makes the save. Tajiri is sent outside for some double teaming from Victory and Corino, only to have Lynn dive onto both of them for the huge crash. Back in and Corino takes the mist, only to have Lynn cradle piledrive Tajiri for the elimination. Thanks to Victory washing his eyes out, Corino does Dusty Rhodes’ Bionic Elbow dance and gets two off a sitout powerbomb.

Jerry starts the one on one portion with a belly to back before a few rollups get a few near falls each. Corino gets crotched on the top but Lou E. Dangerously (He manages Corino right?) slips in the phone so Steve can knock Lynn silly for two. Cue Scotty Anton to snap Jerry’s neck across the top rope so Corino can hit the Old School Expulsion (reverse Twist of Fate) for the pin.

Rating: C. Not the worst match in the world here as they let the wrestlers wrestle. That being said, I’m still not a fan of having the third man get eliminated in the first few minutes so they can do a singles match without doing a singles match. It doesn’t help that I’ve lost track of who is on who’s side in this huge stable war. You know, assuming ECW is considered a stable of course.

The beatdown is on but Tommy Dreamer comes out and we’ve got a main event.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Scotty Anton

Well kind of as Victory beats on Jazz in the ring as Dreamer and Anton fight in the crowd. The people actually in the match come back to ringside with Dreamer beating on Anton until Scotty sends him into a ladder. Why is there a ladder there? Not important of course. Dreamer is busted open but is still able to send Anton into the ladder in the corner.

A superplex off the ladder (which was laid over the middle rope so that didn’t add much) drops Anton and it’s time to bridge the ladder over two chairs. Naturally it’s Dreamer being suplexed onto the ladder, which is horribly bent. The Clapper goes on so Jazz chairs Anton in the head. Dreamer drops an elbow onto a chair onto Anton’s face for the pin.

Rating: D+. Remember all those times I’ve told you that Scotty Anton isn’t very good and has no business being on these shows? That’s still the case, as this really wasn’t much to see. Dreamer doing tremendous harm to his body is entertaining enough but how many times can I see it before it loses its interest?

Cyrus makes Rhino/Justin Credible vs. Sandman/Chilly Willy for the first round of the Tag Team Title tournament. Justin says no way but Rhino promises to make him do it. Francine drags him away and Rhino rants a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Some stuff happened, the wrestling wasn’t great, the angles didn’t really change and we have a single match announced for next week. In other words, it’s your run of the mill ECW on TNN and that’s not the most interesting show in the world. This could have been much worse but the same problems are still here: nothing happens. When is the last time you remember something interesting happening on this show? I can’t remember it and that’s a big reason why this show didn’t last long.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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ECW on TNN
Date: July 14, 2000
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

It’s the go home show for Heat Wave and it can’t get here soon enough. I’m not sure what to expect when ECW wants to put on a go home show but they’re on a bit of a roll with advancing stories. Unfortunately there’s only so much advancement you can have here, though a few matches to Sunday’s card might help as I can only think of three matches at the moment. Let’s get to it.

Joey and Joel do their thing and Joel actually gets through his very dirty tennis rhyme. Instead of Cyrus for a change, here’s Raven to interrupt. So the rumors are that Raven is leaving so we hit the PLEASE DON’T GO chants. He thanks the fans and hugs the announcers, only to have Cyrus and Scotty Anton (of course) cut him off.

It’s a full THANK YOU RAVEN chant now but Cyrus says none of that matters to the network. He doesn’t care about Raven’s revolutionary gimmick either because Raven stole it from the Jackyl. Raven asks if this is going anywhere because he wanted to say goodbye and leave. Cyrus says Raven is going to have to bend over for the network, just like Paul Heyman. And now a match!

Raven vs. Scotty Anton

Anton takes a quick Even Flow but Rhino saves Cyrus from the same treatment. Raven gets driven through a table but Sandman (with one heck of a tan) comes in with the cane. Lori Fullington (Sandman’s wife) comes in and jumps on Cyrus’ back until security breaks it up. During the melee, Anton has Raven in the Clapper on the floor.

Rob Van Dam promises to debut the Van Terminator.

We go to the bathroom (of course) where Gary Wolfe says he’s back. Blue Meanie, now skinny and with adult star Jasmine St. Clair, comes out of a stall. Apparently his name is now the Blue Boy and he makes a bunch of fat jokes about Wolfe. Gary doesn’t take kindly to this but gets beaten down anyway. By the former Blue Meanie.

Tajiri vs. Mikey Whipwreck

Circling to start until Tajiri just blasts him with a superkick. Another kick sends Mikey off the apron for a crash into the barricade but Tajiri doesn’t know how to use a ring wrench. Instead Mikey takes over with a slingshot legdrop, only to get kicked in the face again. An inverted tornado DDT sets up an Octopus to make Mikey tap.

Rating: C. They kept this moving but I’m not sure what the point is in squashing Mike, who is doing stuff backstage to set up his new character. Tajiri can beat up anyone else to set up this big heel push but at least it was a good match with Mikey being able to work well with anyone. Tajiri wasn’t really a heel here though and that makes the turn a bit questionable so far.

Francine teases flashing us but it turns into Justin Credible talking about Sunday’s match against Tommy Dreamer.

Here are Simon and Swinger and their wacky band of misfits (great examples of people who could be let go to cut some costs) with something to say. They’re sick and tired of being a comedy act but here’s CW Anderson to get in Simon’s face. Anderson cleans house and even punches the Prodigette in the face. The Problem Solver lays out the Prodigy as the misfits seem to be gone as Anderson has joined Simon and Swinger.

CW issues an open challenge for a tag match, quick is quickly answered by Danny Doring and Roadkill. The numbers game gets the better of them but…..my goodness Bobby Eaton of all people comes out for the real save. Eaton is eventually superkicked down and the new alliance stands tall.

We run down the top of Sunday’s card.

Anderson, Swinger and Simon make jokes about Doring and Roadkill. A six man is announced with Doring and Roadkill plus Kid Kash fighting the trio.

Steve Corino/??? vs. Jerry Lynn/???

Another dream partner tag match with Corino picking Rhino and Lynn picking….well we’ll get to that in a second as Lynn gets Gored before anyone can come out. Jerry reaches over to the towel he brought in and pulls out a beer. Well that’s good for Jerry as he just happened to pick the guy Corino’s mystery partner was feuding with.

Sandman hits the ring and immediately eats a superkick from Corino. Well so much for that one. Everything heads outside with Lynn diving onto Corino despite there being almost no space between the ring and the barricade. Rhino and Sandman fight in the ring as Jerry blasts Corino in the head with a chair. All four get back inside for more brawling as they might as well have just had this be a brawl. I don’t know why they refer to this as a tag match as I don’t remember the last time there were actual tags in an ECW match.

Rhino piledrives Lynn for two, followed by a White Russian legsweep to give Sandman the same. Cyrus comes in to break up the cradle piledriver and Corino elbows Lynn through a table at ringside. This brings in Little Spike Dudley to play Bubba in a 3D to give Sandman the pin on Rhino.

Rating: D. Yeah whatever. I know this is the ECW standard but that doesn’t mean it holds up or is anything that I’d want to see again. The ending does help set up Sunday’s title match and I guess helps with Lynn vs. Corino but there was no better way than having this mess? I’m just not a fan of these things and they really show how horrible Sandman is at “wrestling”.

A long pay per view ad takes us out.

Overall Rating: D+. This was another example of ECW being all over the place with a few matches being added to Sunday’s show. That helps a few things but doesn’t make this the best use of less than forty one minutes I’ve ever seen. Heat Wave really needs to change some things up for the sake of keeping the show fresh, but I have a feeling we won’t exactly be seeing that on Sunday.

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ECW on TNN
Date: June 30, 2000
Location: The Rave, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

The stupidly slow march towards Heat Wave continues as we keep waiting for anything new to happen. For a company built on the idea of being all energetic and insane, they certainly do know how to stay stuck in one place and never move out of it like few others I’ve ever seen. Let’s get to it.

Cyrus says the Whole F’ing Show might become the Dead F’ing Show when Rhino gets done with him.

Opening sequence.

The arena is really dimly lit, which suggests a bad house. If the 2,000 is accurate though, that’s hardly bad.

The FBI and Tajiri are in the ring with Joel and Joey for the opening but Jerry Lynn in a referee shirt cuts off Joel’s punchline (it involved hitting the ceiling). Jerry wants them out of the ring because he has this one under control. Last week was a mistake because Tajiri (Lynn: “This son of a b*$&@, but a very nice guy!”) blew mist in his eyes. The regular referee says he’s in charge but Jerry decides there are going to be two referees. That earns the regular referee a piledriver and we’re ready to go.

Tajiri vs. Little Guido

Tajiri is smart enough to give Tony Mamaluke a brainbuster before we’re ready to go. They speed things up very quickly for a few near falls each until Tajiri knees him in the head. Guido takes him down into a Fujiwara Armbar followed by some chops in the corner, only to have Tajiri grab his own Fujiwara Armbar for a nice touch. They head outside with Tajiri blasting him in the head with a kick, followed by the required chair shot.

Back in with Guido barely able to stand as Joey talks about a Nitro star defecting tonight. A bite to the head cuts Guido open and it’s time to kick at the cut. Back from a break with a table in the ring and Guido getting kicked even more. The Kiss of Death (Killswitch) gets two on Tajiri, who comes right back by kicking Lynn low. Cue Big Sal for a 600lb slam to crush Tajiri, giving Guido the pin.

Rating: C+. I like both of these guys and they were allowed to just wrestle for the most part, making this a much better match than most of what you get around here. The ending was your standard “well we don’t quite know yet” fare but you have to expect that. I mean, it’s only been like a month and a half of the same thing. That’s just getting warmed up in ECW.

Joey isn’t sure if Lynn saw anything because OF COURSE we don’t know anything for sure.

Van Dam wants his TV Title back tonight.

Mikey Whipwreck is freaking out over something to Sinister Minister. You can barely hear anything they’re talking about because of music playing in the background. Mikey says this is worth $1000 for two minutes but Minister isn’t convinced. They open the door and it’s WCW’s Gorgeous George dancing. Minister’s mind changes in a hurry. Mikey looks at the camera and says OH YEAH while doing the Randy Savage finger waves. Minister looks in again and I can’t say I blame him.

RVD is ready.

TNN actually airs a commercial for ECW. It’s for a show that aired earlier in the month but it’s a commercial nonetheless.

Francine vs. Jazz

Before the match, Francine says no way but here’s Jazz to cut her off. Jazz makes some threats but gets jumped by Justin Credible. Cue Tommy Dreamer for the save and let’s have a mixed tag.

Francine/Justin Credible vs. Jazz/Tommy Dreamer

Jazz headscissors Justin to start but he low blows Dreamer as things settle down. An enziguri puts Justin on the floor and the guys fight into the crowd. Justin actually gets the better of it and takes over inside as Joel makes sex jokes about Dreamer and Francine. Francine even gets in a few shots on Dreamer’s leg, only to have him claw her between the legs. A chair to the back puts Justin down and that means it’s time for a table.

Naturally Dreamer goes face first into said table (he brought it in after all) and everything breaks down with the heels being put in stereo Trees of Woe. That means double delayed dropkicks into chairs into their faces before the Tommyhawk (reverse Razor’s Edge into a cutter for a really cool looking move) gives Dreamer the pin on the champ.

Rating: D. Well that exists. I have no idea why Jazz vs. Francine is a thing but at least this helps set up Dreamer as a more credible (gah) challenger at the pay per view. I mean that’s a ladder match with barbed wire above the ring but at least it’s better than watching them try to have a regular match.

Jazz brings out barbed wire but the Network comes out to take care of Dreamer with Jack Victory kidnapping Jazz, leaving the rest to beat on Dreamer. Justin tombstones him on the barbed wire to make the blood flow even harder. Oh and Francine gets to pin Dreamer, making sure that he loses any heat he might have earned from the pin.

TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Rhino

Rhino is defending and they hammer on each other in the corner to start with Van Dam getting the better of it. A springboard kick to the face has Rhino in trouble but Rob poses instead of following up. Rhino gorilla presses him to take over but gets caught in a hurricanrana. The Gore hits way too early and Rob is up at two. You don’t often see finishers treated like middle of the road moves like that. We hit the chinlock for a bit followed by a spinebuster for two.

Rhino’s middle rope headbutt gets two more but gets caught by a stepover kick to the face. More kicks to the head have Rhino in trouble and there’s the Rolling Thunder onto a chair onto Rhino. Van Dam loads up the Five Star but here’s Scotty Anton to shove him off the top and that’s a DQ, which I didn’t even know existed in ECW.

Rating: C-. I know it didn’t have a finish and it was just an eight minute match, but these two should have been the main event of Heat Wave, not Rhino vs. Sandman (been done to death already) and Van Dam vs. Anton (kill me now). The match was fine enough and both guys looked good but this really shouldn’t have happened on TV when ECW is dying for money, which could have been brought in by a well publicized match between these two.

Van Dam has to fight off the entire Network but Credible gets in a Singapore cane shot to put him down. Sandman FINALLY comes out (after the fans chant for him for a good while) and beats Justin up to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. See, now this one I can get behind. For one thing, this show was all about the wrestling with three matches, all of which actually played a role in a story. More importantly than that though, the main event is building towards a big match next week as Sandman challenges Credible for the title. It doesn’t have to be some grand production. Just have the wrestling actually build somewhere and I’m much happier.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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ECW on TNN
Date: June 2, 2000
Location: Seagate Center, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

Things are still moving at a slow pace as we have Tommy Dreamer and Raven in their weird alliance against Justin Credible and Sandman wanting revenge on Rhino over attacking his wife. That’s in addition to ECW vs. the Network in the top (I think?) feud. That sounds like enough to have them overflowing with content but somehow it’s a very slow process. Let’s get to it.

Joey and Joel are in the ring to start and Raven is sitting in the corner. After some TNN insults, Joel doesn’t have a dirty rhyme tonight. Joey tells him to make something up, likely because the fans sounded like they were about to riot. He makes one up on the spot that ends with saying how tight the women in Toledo are. You can fill in the details yourself.

Off to Raven, who is sick of Justin Credible stealing everything from him. The other day Justin called him and quoted Keep on Rocking in the Free World, which was enough to make Raven realize Justin could never be him. Cue Justin and Francine, both of whom Raven calls a rather mean name.

The fight is on with Raven getting the better of it until a Francine distraction lets Justin swing the Singapore cane. Tommy Dreamer makes a better save attempt this week as Justin bails, leaving Scotty Anton to sneak in and beat on Raven. The referee of all people yells at Cyrus, only to get beaten down by Anton. Scotty puts the referee in a Sharpshooter and it’s time for THE CLAP!

Opening sequence.

Guido is working out when Tony Mamaluke (from ECW’s Mamalukes’ mini stable) makes his debut. That makes Guido mad because Tony is a fake Italian so he has an idea.

Kid Kash vs. Grimes

The much smaller Kash starts with a headscissors but gets run over by a standing splash. Grimes goes with the power by loading up a reverse Razor’s Edge but flipping forward into something like a sitout powerslam. Cool move actually. Back up and Kash tries to climb onto Grimes’ shoulders for a faceplant but it’s more like a slap to the back of his head.

Another headscissors has Grimes in trouble and Kash knocks him outside for a big running springboard flip dive. Back in and Kash dives into a cutter, followed by a Vader Bomb into a low blow. Kash’s hurricanrana is countered into a flapjack, only to have him grab a rolling victory roll for the pin on Grimes and a big upset.

Rating: D+. Kash is a bunch of spots and little more as he rarely did anything aside from headscissors and hurricanranas. The victory roll ending made sense as it’s not like he can hit a piledriver on someone the size of Grimes. If nothing else it was nice to see Grimes doing something other than fighting New Jack again and again.

We get the same somber Sandman vs. Rhino video from last week.

Johnny Swinger is posing in front of a fan. Swinger: “See? My biggest fan is blowing me.” The Musketeer comes in and tries to fight the fan due to reasons of bad comedy. Prodigy and the Prodigette get doused in Swinger’s oil.

Tony Mamaluke vs. Mikey Whipwreck

Tony tries to take him to the mat early on but gets launched into the air for a faceplant. Guido offers a distraction so Tony can take it outside, only to try a moonsault and LAND ON THE BACK OF HIS NECK ON THE BARRICADE. That’s one of the scariest bumps I’ve ever seen but Mikey takes him back inside for a spinning Pedigree for the fast pin.

Mikey gives an attacking Guido the Whippersnapper post match. Big Sal comes in before fire can be used but gets powder in his eyes. The blind Sal lays out Marinara with a side slam and gorilla press toss into the crowd.

Post break Sinister Minister calls Big Sal a glutton for punishment. Every time he comes near Mikey, Sal is set on fire. If there’s one thing Minister won’t accept, it’s stupidity. Therefore, the next time Sal comes near him, Sal will learn the meaning of spontaneous combustion. Mikey says no way so Minister calls him a liar and lights his pants on fire. Minister laughs as Mikey cries about it burning his flesh.

We get a big rant from Paul Heyman about how TNN is killing them because they don’t want ECW around. Then they’re going to bring in the WWF and give Vince McMahon $100 million. Heyman says this is a shoot as he goes on about how much he hates this network for everything they’ve done wrong. He begs TNN to throw them off the air and tells them to spend that money on attorneys because the war has just begun. Last week Gertner said a lot of the same things on commentary. This was muted on the live broadcast but the Network has the full thing.

Dawn Marie video.

Joel suggests that the TNN executives smuggle young farm animals across state lines for sexual gratification. Heyman, off screen: “ARE YOU READY TO THROW US OFF THE AIR PIG F*$&%*#?” Again, this was muted live as you might expect.

TV Title: Rhino vs. Sandman

Rhino is defending and has Steve Corino in his corner. During Sandman’s three minute entrance, Gertner suggests that Sandman wants to beat Rhino for making Sandman’s wife all whiny because she’s been in the hospital so much lately. Cue Dusty Rhodes to cancel Corino out by bullroping himself to Steve. Rhino pounds Sandman down fast but gets knocked to the floor to start the brawl.

Sandman throws in a table and loads it up in the corner before taking Rhino down with a hurricanrana. A piledriver onto the folded table gets no cover as Sandman has to take care of Corino (freed with some help from Jack Victory). Everyone comes in and I’m going to assume the match was thrown out somewhere in there. Not enough to rate but what were you expecting?

Tajiri runs out for the save and gets beaten down by an invading Scotty Anton. Van Dam comes in for the real save as Jerry Lynn watches to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Interesting story/brawl, midcard match, midcard match, pants on fire, big wild brawl to end the show. Like I said earlier, it’s taking WAY too long to get anywhere with their big stories and it’s getting annoying trying. The real war with Heyman vs. the network is more interesting but at the same time it’s really hard to care when the wrestling is so all over the place and the stories move so slowly. It’s still entertaining enough but they need to do something before they’re thrown off the air.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: July 14, 1999
Location: Jefferson County Civic Center, Birmingham, Alabama
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay

Oh joy. It’s a taped Thunder coming off a PPV. The good thing is we’re coming off the least boring show WCW had in awhile, though on the other hand it led us to ANOTHER Hogan title reign that only people with the last name Hogan actually wanted to see. That being said, I’ll take bad over dull, and anything that gets me away from Randy Savage in the main event is a good thing. Let’s get to it.

This is a Wednesday show.

Vampiro vs. Van Hammer

Hammer throws him around to start but gets armdragged down to space things out a bit. A full nelson doesn’t get Hammer anywhere but some kicks to the chest knock him out to the floor. Vampiro hits a nice dive but Hammer easily sends him into the barricade to take over. Back in and Hammer pounds away before kicking Vampiro square in the jaw. A big slam sends Vampiro off the top but walks around instead of covering.

Vampiro comes back with some strikes and a snapmare, followed by a kick to the back. This is going nowhere for the most part. Van takes him down again and stomps away because he really doesn’t have that strong of an offense. A chokeslam of all things puts Hammer down for two but Vampiro misses a top rope splash. That’s FINALLY enough to make the announcers stop talking about Hogan returning on Monday. Hammer slugs away in the corner and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Vampiro nails him low, only to walk into the cobra clutch slam for two. They slug it out again and Vampiro grabs a rollup for a fast pin.

Rating: D+. This goes back to the problem for Thunder: the wrestling is just ok, but there’s no reason to care about these guys. Yeah Vampiro is popular with the fans, but why should I care about him? He has one off matches that don’t go anywhere and has no story to speak of. On the other hand you have the worthless hunk of flesh known as Van Hammer, who isn’t going to make things any better.

Speaking of Van Hammer, he destroys Vampiro after the match. Really? THIS warrants a continuation?

Sick Boy vs. Rick Fuller

Oh come on now. Sick Boy now has blond hair and actually looks like a bigger Dolph Ziggler if he had a brown beard. Fuller drops him with a shoulder as Tenay says this is a proving ground match. A bad looking legdrop gets two on Boy and a bad looking sunset flip gets the same on Fuller.

We keep the dull going with Fuller’s generic power offense in the corner before he hammers Sick Boy down in the middle of the ring. Sick Boy scores with a lariat but gets choked on the middle rope. Another sunset flip attempt is blocked so Fuller puts him on the top and….very gently takes him back down. Sick Boy gets two off a spinwheel kick but Fuller puts him back on the top and hits a kind of powerbomb for the pin.

Rating: F. What a disaster. Again, it’s not even that the match was horrible, but they just had nothing going on here and I had no reason to care. The match is just SO dull and uninteresting that there’s nothing to keep my attention. If the idea here was to have Fuller look like a killer, it’s failed as much as….well almost anything else WCW tried around this point.

Steve Regal/Fit Finlay/Dave Taylor vs. No Limit Soldiers

This would be Chase Tatum, Swoll and B.A. Chase and Finlay slug it out to start and Chase is already about 847 times better than Swoll. The fact that he’s only a bit above average should tell you all you need to know. They trade some good forearms with Chase getting the better of it, only to miss a charge into the corner. Off to Taylor for some very quick shots before Regal comes in to get in some offense of his own.

Regal misses an elbow though and the hot tag brings in Swoll to clean house. We go to a commercial with the good news that Swoll hasn’t maimed anyone yet. Back and thank goodness it’s Regal vs. B.A. Regal works on the arm and drops some knees, only to have B.A. make a nice comeback with dropkicks and armdrags. The Europeans take him into the corner though and it’s European uppercuts a go-go with all three getting in a few.

Finlay misses a charge into the corner but Regal comes in to prevent B.A. from making the hot tag. Then for a change of pace, Taylor comes in to prevent B.A. from making the hot tag. It’s back to Finlay for the chinlock before it’s off to Taylor for yet another chinlock. Regal comes in for some brief hammering before it’s back to Dave, who misses the third tag of the match and finally allows the hot tag to Swoll. Thankfully it doesn’t last long with Swoll running everyone over and hitting his palm strike to the chest (called a Heart Punch by Tenay, who apparently doesn’t get the concept of a PUNCH) to pin Taylor.

Rating: D. The worst part about this is the majority of the guys out here are really talented and deserve much better than this. Chase wasn’t anything special but he was fine for what he was doing. Then however you have Swoll, who is basically the Erik Watts of his day. Also, it’s so depressing that guys like Regal, Taylor and Finlay, who could teach anyone a thing or twenty about wrestling, have to job for this guy because his uncle is famous.

West Texas Rednecks video.

We see the whole Sting/Flair argument from Nitro, plus most of Sting vs. David.

US Title: Bobby Eaton vs. David Flair

What is this, a theme show? Ric and Asya will be running interference. David actually takes Bobby down with a headlock before Bobby does the same to him, albeit much faster. A hiptoss drops Eaton and he looks somewhere between shocked and frustrated. Ric tries to give Eaton a wad of cash, only to have Eaton take the money and suplex David down. Asya comes in to block the Alabama Jam before taking his place. Eaton climbs down and yells at Ric, earning a low blow from Asya. The Figure Four retains the title.

Rating: F. I’m sure you get the idea.

Recap of Vampiro vs. Konnan, Miller and Bagwell’s non-match, Kidman vs. Regal and Stevie Ray saving Booker. Even Smackdown isn’t this bad.

Kidman vs. Mikey Whipwreck

This HAS to be better. Kidman scores with some headscissors and a dropkick to start, sending Mikey out to the floor for a breather. Kidman spends too much time walking around and not paying attention, allowing Mikey to pull him out to the floor. He drops Kidman across the barricade as Tenay prattles on about Hogan vs. Nash. Back in and Mikey works on the ribs and legs with all the usual submission attempts that won’t work.

Kidman fights back with a quick powerbomb but can’t follow up. Instead it’s Mikey getting two off a slam, followed by a slingshot legdrop. Back up and he tries a suplex, only to have Kidman shove him out to the floor. A big plancha takes Mikey out again, followed by a high cross body for two back inside. Mikey nails a nice springboard clothesline, but makes the eternally stupid mistake of trying to powerbomb Kidman. The faceplant sets up the Shooting Star for the pin.

Rating: C-. At this point I think I’d have given anything a better rating. Mikey continues to be about as obvious of a cheap shot signing as you can imagine as there’s just no reason for him to be in WCW. His work is average and most of the fans don’t care about him, but at least he’s not working for ECW right?

Video on Hogan vs. Savage.

Rap Is Crap.

Tag Team Titles: Jersey Triad vs. Curt Hennig/Barry Windham

Heel vs. heel here, but maybe they’re hoping the rednecks will be over as faces in the south? Kanyon starts out on the floor as Bigelow easily hammers Curt down. It’s off to Windham for a Starrcade 1988 rematch, with Barry doing just as badly as Hennig did. Page comes in which goes a bit better for Windham. A shoulder and lariat put Page down and it’s back to Hennig, who only stays in for a few seconds.

Off to Kanyon who eats a suplex from Windham before it’s quickly back to Hennig. Now, to really make this stupid, Kendall Windham and Bobby Duncum Jr. jump up on the apron as Barry drops to the floor. Curt tags out to Kendall and drops to the floor, meaning it’s now Kendall/Bobby vs. the Triad.

So to recap, we have two heel teams both using an upgraded version of the Freebird Rule, but the team of heels that might actually get some face sympathy in this town is now cheating even more, guaranteeing that the bigger heel team is going to be less heelish here, somehow making them the faces. I didn’t believe it was possible but this company is somehow coming up with new ways to screw stuff up.

Anyway we take a break and come back with Kanyon coming in to face Duncum with Barry on the apron. Bobby drops Kanyon with a right hand but Hennig interferes for no apparent reason, allowing for a double tag to Barry and Bigelow. The others start interfering, allowing Page to hit Barry low to really take over. The other three guys are fighting on the floor, leaving Kanyon to miss a moonsault on Barry. Hennig comes in off the hot tag but everyone gets in for the double DQ.

Rating: D. For DUMB. This match was one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen in wrestling and I can’t believe I actually watched it. WCW managed to screw up one of the basic core ideas of wrestling (good vs. bad) and couldn’t even have champions win clean in doing so. I can’t believe it but this company is somehow getting worse.

Overall Rating: G. This show is behind a failure. This was one of the worst shows that I’ve ever had to sit through, with Kidman vs. Whipwreck having the ONLY thing that was watchable. However, when you have Rick Fuller vs. Sick Boy, a David Flair match with Ric Flair stuffing money down Bobby Eaton’s tights like he was a stripper to whatever the heck that main event was to SO MANY FREAKING RECAPS, something like Kidman vs. Whipwreck is pretty quickly forgotten. This was a disaster and made me change my standard line from “it can’t possibly get any worse” to “dear goodness please don’t let it get worse.”

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ECW on TNN
Date: May 19, 2000
Location: University Sports Pavillion, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

Hardcore Heaven has come and gone and almost nothing has changed. Jerry Lynn has finally pinned Rob Van Dam despite Van Dam’s friend Scotty Anton (Scotty Riggs) turning him on him to cause the loss. Other than that, Credible is still World Champion after beating Lance Storm in a pretty boring match. Let’s get to it.

Sinister Minister and Mikey Whipwreck open things up by talking about what happened at the PPV. For some reason it’s hilarious that Vince Russo and Eric Bischoff haven’t been fired yet. Somehow this is linked to Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones.

Kid Kash vs. Johnny Swinger

Joined in progress. Kash flies around for a few seconds and hits the Moneymaker for the pin in maybe 25 seconds.

Big Sal and Little Guido run in to attack Kash but Mikey Whipwreck runs in with a fireball to Sal. Time for another match.

Mikey Whipwreck vs. Little Guido

We start fast again with Mikey nailing a quick DDT for two but gets caught in something like an Alabama Slam for two more. A slingshot legdrop gets the same for Guido but Mikey pops right back up with the Whippersnapper for the pin. Too short to rate but it was energetic enough to work.

Joel and Joey do their intro to the show at the announcers’ area. The limerick is about drinking pearly foam and we see clips from the PPV.

RVD is annoyed that he lost to Lynn on Sunday and really hopes Lynn and Anton aren’t in cahoots.

Roadkill/Danny Doring vs. Chris Chetti/Nova vs. Da Baldies

Roadkill and Doring attack Da Baldies in the aisle so Chetti dives out to take everyone down. Nova throws DeVito in and nails a splash for two as the attention goes to Steve Corino, talking about his war with Tajiri on Sunday. We even get a clip from the match to make sure that we know this match means nothing. Chetti nails DeVito with a kick to the face but Grimes comes in to blast Nova. He goes up for an elbow, giving Angel a quick pin. That’s fine with Nova and Chetti who pop up and hit the Tidal Wave to put Grimes through a table. Doring comes back with a double arm DDT on DeVito for the final pin.

Rating: D+. This match was a backdrop for the Corino promo about Tajiri. If you want to have a tag match then have a tag match but if you want to talk about Tajiri vs. Corino then talk about Tajiri vs. Corino. Why can’t ECW just calm down and pick something instead of bouncing all over the place?

Da Baldies go after Roadkill and Doring post match until New Jack makes the save with the usual.

Lynn says he’s better than RVD because this match was faster than Van Dam’s win last year.

ECW World Title: Raven vs. Justin Credible

Justin is defending and we get some Big Match Intros for a change. Before the match, Justin talks about beating Raven all over the country and stealing his woman. We cut to the announcers again where Corino is on the same rant from earlier. Joel: “Look. Tajiri!” Corino runs away. The entire shot lasted about six seconds. Anyway Justin misses a cane shot to start and Raven hammers away before sending the champion out to the floor.

We take a break with the fight in the crowd and Justin going through a table. They head back to ringside for some mic shots from Raven before going back inside for even more. A table is set up in the corner but Justin hits him low for a breather. Raven goes through the table and we stop for Francine to look at Justin’s neck. Justin drives a knee into the ribs to stop a comeback attempt and we hit the sleeper. Raven sends him out to the floor and through a table (because ECW!) but Justin grabs a chair.

Back in and Credible uses the drop toehold onto a chair before having a seat and swearing a lot. Some knee lifts have the champion in trouble but Francine nails Raven with the kendo stick. A superkick and That’s Incredible get two each for Justin but he knocks Francine off the apron. The Evenflow is countered and we get a ref bump. Now the DDT connects for no count so Raven tries a sunset flip, allowing Justin to drop down for the pin while holding the ropes.

Rating: D+. This actually wasn’t terrible once they calmed down and stopped overthinking everything. The ref bump was a bit worthless but it’s nice to see them do something besides endless interfering. Also you would think these guys would have gotten some promo time to set this up instead of just having a one off match. Finally, at least the match had more than three minutes to get going.

House show ads.

Rhino and Cyrus are in the back with Cyrus saying he’s behind the negotiations with the WWF. We close it out with Rhino issuing a challenge to anyone who wants the TV Title.

Overall Rating: D. This was a mostly weak show due to the usual breakneck ECW pace but at least the main event was good. It helps that they gave a match some time instead of just having three or four minute matches over and over again. The Corino promos got annoying in a hurry though as it felt like those moments, which didn’t lead to anything but a quick comedy bit, overshadowed the matches.

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Thunder
Date: April 7, 1999
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

This is a Wednesday show for no apparent reason and we now only have a two man booth. It’s also the go home show for Spring Stampede and we have a main event as of the last fifteen seconds of Nitro. This is also a taped show, meaning we’re probably in for a very dull show. Let’s get to it.

The intro now has the new logo.

Cruiserweight Title: Evan Karagias vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Rey is defending of course. Evan punches him down to start and nails something like a bulldog for two. Back up and Karagias misses a dropkick, allowing Rey to drop a dime on the back of his head. A powerslam and springboard cross body get two each for Evan and we hit the chinlock. They head outside with Rey being whipped into the barricade before it’s back inside for chinlock the sequel.

We take a break and come back with Evan still holding the chinlock. Evan stomps away even more as the announcers talk about the major matches for Sunday. Rey finally starts a comeback and ties Evan in the ropes for a top rope legdrop and two. The springboard hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb but Evan gets crotched on the top and hurricanranaed down for the pin.

Rating: C-. Karagias didn’t mean anything yet so this was fine for a TV title defense. Mysterio was on a roll at this point and a match with a great opponent like Kidman should make for a great PPV match. Karagias wasn’t much besides a pretty boy in good shape so it would take a ridiculous gimmick to draw any interest.

We see Goldberg knocking himself out by spearing Bret.

We get the announcement of Sunday’s main event from Nitro.

Video on Nash vs. Goldberg.

Wrath vs. Damien

Tenay tries to build Wrath up as a title contender and it’s just sad at this point. Damien gets shoved down a few times before trying a headlock, only to get shoved away again. Wrath ducks a shoulder to send Damien to the floor before whipping him into the barricade. Back in and Damien’s dropkicks have no effect and he runs into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.

Wrath throws the little guy around and sends him chest first into the corner ala Bret Hart. Damien tries a rollup but gets knocked back to the floor and onto the barricade again for his efforts. Back in and a springboard sunset flip gets two for Damien. A cross body gets the same but Damien dives into the Death Penalty, followed by the Meltdown for the pin.

Rating: D+. When Damien hits the better spots of a match, you can tell your career is in trouble. Wrath was on such a roll and it’s a shame that this is the best he can do anymore. The match was your usual power man vs. luchador match but neither guy is the best option for that style of a match.

Here’s Konnan with something to say. He runs down Disco a bit before Sunday so here are Juventud Guerrera and Disco as La Cucaracha. Remember that one off match from a few weeks back on Nitro that was never mentioned again? Well it’s being brought up here. Juvy is going to translate for La Cucaracha and oh dear this is going to be painful. Konnan sees that it’s Disco but Juvy says Cucaracha is from Cancun. Cucaracha says something about bring from Brooklyn and the brawl is on with Konnan quickly clearing the ring. This was worthless.

Video on Konnan vs. Disco.

Video from Nitro of Nash challenging Goldberg.

Hardcore Hak vs. Mikey Whipwreck

This is Mikey’s second WCW match to date. They stall a lot to start until Mikey takes him down by the arm. We actually get some technical stuff with Hak grabbing a headlock on the mat until Mikey has to get to the ropes. That’s enough of that as Hak sends him out to the floor where Chastity can rake his eyes. Mikey comes back with a Russian legsweep to send Hak into the barricade. Back inside and Mikey hits a top rope clothesline for two and we take a break.

We come back with Mikey down on the floor and being whipped into the barricade. Hak misses a slingshot legdrop back inside so Mikey hits a slingshot Fameasser across the bottom rope for two. Whipwreck puts him in the Tree of Woe and baseball slides a chair into his face. With Hak stunned, Mikey goes to the middle rope but misses a spinning dive. Hak drapes him across the top rope and hits a top rope Fameasser of his own. A slingshot legdrop onto a chair onto Mikey’s face has Hak limping as hs calls for a Singapore cane. Mikey intercepts it and hammers away, only to get caught in the White Russian legsweep for the pin.

Rating: E. For ECW, because that’s all this was. It was an ECW style match with ECW wrestlers who even had a history back in ECW. I didn’t want to watch ECW back in 1999, I don’t want to watch ECW now, and I certainly don’t want to watch ECW in WCW. At least ECW had Joey Styles to get on my nerves by thinking he was a radio announcer and calling EVERY SINGLE MOVE in the match because he thought we didn’t know what an Irish whip was without being told.

Bigelow runs out post match and beats up Hak.

This Week In WCW Motorsports.

Scott Steiner video.

Super Calo vs. Blitzkrieg

A quick dropkick puts Blitzkrieg down and Calo dances a bit. He stops long enough to missile dropkick Blitzkrieg to the floor where Calo hits a dropkick through the ropes. Calo dives out to the floor to take Blitzkrieg out again before throwing him back inside. Back in and Calo cranks on the arm but gets rolled up for two.

Blitzkrieg comes back with a dropkick of his own to send Calo out to the floor, followed by a BIG flip dive with Blitzkrieg landing on his feet. A standing moonsault gets two for Blitzkrieg but he gets dropkicked into the corner. Calo cranks on a chinlock to get a breather before missing a charge into the post. He gets back up but gets crotched on top, allowing Blitzkrieg to almost entirely miss a Phoenix Splash (his arm grazed Calo’s chest) for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m still waiting on Blitzkrieg to blow my mind and I get the feeling I’m going to be waiting forever. The flip dive while landing on his feet was cool but it’s nothing I haven’t seen done before. On the other hand though, the splash at the end was just laughable and it was clear that the camera did as much as it could to hide it. Either that or they thought there was something to looking at the bottom of Calo’s boots.

Video on Benoit/Malenko vs. Raven/Saturn.

Chris Benoit vs. Raven

This should be good. Benoit rips off Raven’s leather jacket to start and then takes Raven’s head off with a clothesline. He bends Raven over his knee in a backbreaker before sending Raven outside for some cheap shots from Anderson. Back in and Benoit charges into two boots in the corner to give Raven an opening. Raven hits what we would call Three Amigos for two but has to escape a Crossface attempt.

We take a break and come back with Raven driving Benoit back first into the buckle. Chris takes him down by the leg and cannonballs down on it in true Flair style. Raven leverages him out to the floor and throws in a chair to make this more comfortable. He can’t hit a bulldog though and gets slammed head first onto the chair. Benoit goes up for the Swan Dive but only hits the chair to put both guys down. They both get up but Anderson comes in for the DQ, because a chair doesn’t mean anything anymore.

Rating: C+. This was the usual good brawl between these two, even if the ending really doesn’t make sense. The tag match on Sunday should be good, though the Horsemen costing Raven and Saturn the titles on Monday doesn’t hold up. Hopefully they’re given some time to make things work.

Post match Saturn comes in to go after Anderson but Malenko saves his mentor. The Horsemen dominate and given Raven and Saturn a DDT and DVD respectfully. Anderson says this is on the fans’ hands.

Video on the four way from Monday.

TV Title: Chris Jericho vs. Booker T.

Booker is defending. Before the match Jericho says Richmond, West Virginia is one of his favorite towns. A fan holds up a Booker T. Hug Me sign and gets her wish in a nice moment. Booker takes him into the corner to start before grabbing a headlock. Jericho fires off some quick elbows to escape and we’re already at a stalemate. The Canadian elbows out of an armbar and nails a shoulder. Booker comes back with a side kick and we’re right back into the armbar.

The announcers mention Steiner vs. Booker for the first time tonight as Booker clotheslines Jericho to the floor. Chris tries to walk out but gets whipped into the barricade for his efforts. They head back in, only to have Jericho get backdropped out to the floor. This time it’s Booker being sent into the barricade though for his first real advantage. A top rope elbow sets up the Arrogant Cover for two. Jericho drops a backsplash and we hit the chinlock.

Back up and Jericho sends him into the corner but gets rolled up for two. Jericho nails a spinwheel kick of his own but stops to pose instead of covering. He goes up but dives into a boot, allowing Booker to hit the ax kick and 110th Street Slam for two. The referee gets bumped, allowing Scott Steiner to come out and hit Booker with a chair. This brings out Stevie Ray to slap jack Jericho for some reason, giving Booker the pin.

Rating: C. Ok so this was Jericho’s final WCW match. It wasn’t bad and I liked it better than Monday’s but it’s still a shell of what Jericho used to be. I really hope Booker doesn’t get swallowed up in the NWO nonsense as he’s one of the few people that has been able to stay fresh by avoiding the whole thing.

Overall Rating: C. This was a nice surprise as the taped Thunders are usually the bane of my existence. The wrestling was good enough and they did enough to promote Spring Stampede. There were still far too many videos and recaps but at least there was enough stuff here to keep me entertained for a few hours.

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November to Remember 1995
Date: November 18, 1995
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,150
Commentator: Joey Styles

 

People whose opinions I respect have told me that this is the greatest ECW show of all time. With that information in mind I figured I had to take a look at it at least once. This is the last ECW show I’m going to do for a good while because I’m more or less out of ones I can do. The main event is a tag match with Raven/Cactus Jack facing Dreamer/Funk. Other than that it’s a big bunch of stuff but from what I understand it’s the whole package rather than a single match that makes this great. Let’s get to it.

 

Keep in mind that this is more or less ECW’s Wrestlemania.

 

Joey gives us a quick rundown of the card. This is the home video version so that makes some more sense this time.

 

Broad Street Bully vs. Don E. Allen

 

Bubba Ray Dudley is guest ring announcer for no apparent reason. The Dudleys hadn’t united yet so this is when it’s still the goofy stable. Bubba is in overalls and a top hat with a white jacket. D-Von would come in soon and get rid of Chubby, Dances With and Dudley (all with the last name Dudley) to make himself and Bubba the killers that they’re known as. They’re faces here though or at least Bubba is.

 

Bubba has a really bad stutter so him managing to get the title of the show out is considered remarkable. Actually scratch that as he’s gotten rid of the stutter….and there it is again before he can infringe on copyrighted material such as “let’s get ready to rumble.” Hearing Joey have sympathy Bubba is just weird. Big Dick gets mad at him so Bubba says screw this and beats up Allen. HUGE powerbomb puts him down so the Bully tries to jump Bubba. Bubba hammers him down and powerbombs him also, then pins him for no apparent reason. By the way the regular ring announcer is Joel Gertner.

 

Heyman comes out and calls for the lights to be dimmed. They come back on and SABU is back. Huge ovation for him and a bigger one for when he shakes hands with Heyman. He had been in WCW for a cup of coffee and that went nowhere so here he is back where the people love him.

 

Jason Knight vs. Konnan

 

Joey does the ring announcing for this for some reason. Knight is more famous as the Jason that hangs out with Justin Credible a few years after this. Yes he actually was a wrestler for awhile. Konnan is billed from AAA in Mexico. I need to do When Worlds Collide someday. Konnan is still masked here. The guest referee is Taz, who is still not healed from his neck injury so he can’t wrestle tonight.

 

He had been Tazmaniac for his entire run up to that point so this was a repackaging for him. Taz says tells you he can’t wrestle due to the doctors and ECW not clearing him to wrestle. Jason cuts him off and we see why Jason rarely talked. Taz says Jason has Konnan to deal with so Taz says ring the bell, decks Jason and lets Konnan hit a crucifix bomb to end this in like 10 seconds. Taz will be back later.

 

El Puerto Ricano vs. Stevie Richards

 

Richards is a goofy putz (Joey’s words) here and is Raven’s (top heel here) lackey. Richards gets a gift from the unnamed Blue Meanie who comes over the guardrail with a shirt that says Blue Meanie. The gift is a Flock of Seagulls half shirt. The non Clueless Putz (never did anything of note) jumps Richards and we’re off.

 

Ricano hits a missile dropkick and dives on Meanie to take care of him. He goes up too many times though and Richards slams him down to take over. Flock of Seagulls dude hits a powerbomb and the other guy (you type Ricano over and over again) is in trouble. He gets draped over the top and takes another Stevie Bomb. Blue Meanie comes in and misses a moonsault. Richards hits a superkick to end this. More or less just a squash.

 

Eliminators vs. Pitbulls

 

I haven’t seen a lot of the Pitbulls but they were very popular and pretty successful in ECW so this could be worth seeing. Francine in leather isn’t a bad thing to see as she manages them so this should be good. Oh and Jason manages the Eliminators. It’s weird to see Saturn with hair. The Pitbulls are known as #1 and #2. #1 has hair. Got it. He and Saturn start us off and the Pitbull (Gary Wolfe. #2 is Anthony Durante) shrugs off most of Saturn’s offense.

 

He tosses Perry into the corner and slams him. The idea of the Pitbulls were they were more or less Rhyno in leather and more athletic. Blind tag brings in Durante who gets a top rope elbow for two. Off to the other Eliminator John Kronus to face #2. Big power match here as Kronus hits a release Dragon suplex to take over. The Eliminators, the more athletic team, speeds things up a lot to take over.

 

An assisted moonsault takes out Durante but an elbow clearly misses. Thankfully Joey covers and says he moved, otherwise it would have looked awful. The fans are behind the Pitbulls as Kronus picks #2 up off a belly to back suplex. Kronus gets caught between the Pitbulls but Durante misses a splash in the corner and crashes to the floor. He’s bleeding from the elbow now.

 

Kronus is a lot fatter than I remember him being. Saturn comes in with that sweet high elbow drop of his (OH YEAH from Joey) but it only gets two. Saturn hits a corner rana which also gets two somehow. The Eliminators are a pretty new team so this is kind of their showcase match. Saturn tries to set up something on the ropes but a superbomb by Durante gets no cover.

 

Everything breaks down and Jason hits a legdrop on #2 to keep him down. Double tag brings in Kronus and Wolfe who cleans house. Double clothesline takes the Eliminators down and it’s a big brawl. Wolfe totally misses a spinwheel kick in the corner but Kronus sells it anyway. Double superbomb out of the corner ends Kronus and we’re done.

 

Rating: B-. This was a rather fun match. The botches make it a bit amateurish looking but at the same time this wasn’t exactly Gagne vs. Thesz out there. They would feud forever with the Pitbulls eventually losing their edge. Pretty good match though and the fans were into it the whole way (duh) so I can’t complain much here at all.

 

Post match Jason jumps Francine and tries to kiss her (Joey: “HE LIKES WOMEN!”) and as the Pitbulls go for the save the Eliminators beat them down and hit Total Elimination on both guys.

 

Psicosis vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

 

This is a Mexican Death Match, meaning more or less last man standing but you need a pin before the count begins. This was a long running feud and I think this is the blowoff match. The fans chant Rudo at Psicosis. Rey of course gets a Tecnico chant and comes out to what sounds like Sad But True by Metallica. Yep that’s what it is. Not what I think of when I think of Rey. The big match intros are done in both languages.

 

This is when Rey was still like the fastest guys in the world and Psicosis is able to keep up with him so I’m not even going to try to call play by play on this. Even Joey can barely do it and he could double as an auctioneer. Rey gets a quick pin off a top rope rana but Psicosis is just mad and not really hurt. Out to the floor we go and Rey falls when trying to jump onto the railing. That clip is on the Rise and Fall of ECW I believe.

 

Back in the ring a missile dropkick puts Rey down and a moonsault gets a pin. The count is unimportant at this point because we’re only like three minutes into this. Rey gets draped across the buckle as this is one sided at the moment. How weird is it to see Psicosis as the far bigger and stronger guy? Powerbomb gets the pin but Rey is up 1. They’re counting backwards so he barely beat the count.

 

Psicosis goes to get a chair but changes his mind and is booed out of the building. A buckle bomb keeps Rey down. Twisting senton (flip into a backsplash) gets another pin but that’s fine because Rey is up at 1 again. Dropkick puts him right back down and the fans are literally standing. Now it’s chair time and Rey takes a DDT onto it. He beats on Rey then puts the chair on Rey’s back for a moonsault to get his fourth pin in a row.

 

Rey barely beats the count so Psicosis goes for the possibly injured knee (from the botch earlier) which is rather smart strategy. Psicosis tries a moonsault but Rey pulls the chair into the way and takes over. Springboard clothesline sends Psicosis to the floor. High cross body and we’re in the crowd for a second. HUGE moonsault (Asai hadn’t been named yet I don’t think) and Rey takes over with some chair shots.

 

Psicosis tries to run into the crowd and you can’t see them but Rey brings them back and they’re at ringside again. Never mind as we’re going back into the fans. Psicosis is more or less running as Rey is on fire. They’re right below Joey (who is in what’s called The Eagle’s Nest) so Rey hits him with a chair, climbs up the Eagle’s Nest and dives off with a HUGE hurricanrana and Psicosis is dead and we’re done.

 

Rating: B. Pretty awesome stuff here as Rey played possum after the beating and then woke up to massacre Psicosis and become just too much for him. Rey was only 20 at this point so he was a total rookie phenom. Total war here and the psychology actually existed. Rey would be in WCW in about 7 months.

 

Jason comes out to talk to Rey and offers to manage him. Rey says no so Jason threatens him. Take a guess how that goes. The Eliminators come out to destroy Rey but 911 (more or less the security guard who is about 7’0 and 400lbs) comes in for the save and easily dominates the Eliminators. Rey gets on his shoulders and the fans seem pleased.

 

Tag Titles: 2 Cold Scorpio/Sandman vs. Public Enemy

 

Woman manages Scorpio and Sandman who are champions (along with Scorpio being TV Champion) and come out to Whomp There It Is. Whoever gets the fall here faces Mikey Whipwreck later in the show for the world title. Woman is kind of hot actually. She could look rather good at times. Scorpio dances a lot while we’re waiting on the Public Enemy to get here.

 

I have no idea what the face/heel alignment is here but I think Public Enemy is face. According to Gertner the TV Title is on the line here also. Yeah apparently Sandman and Scorpio are the heels here. Sandman is billed from…..Utah? Seriously? Scorpio is doing a thing where he says he doesn’t weigh as much as he really does. He does have a gut on him.

 

Public Enemy is leaving soon after this for ECW apparently. Scorpio offers them a chance to leave so let’s have a dance off. Uh…..ok? Scorpio cuts a rug and Joey dances too. The camera catches him and his reaction is great. Rocco does a robot which isn’t horrible. Scorpio does one also and destroys him. And now we set dancing back about a thousand years with Sandman dancing too. Joey: “Yes but can he walk a straight line?” They want Woman to dance and it’s very short. Crowd is WAY into this.

 

The champs jump the dancing morons but Public Enemy clears the ring quickly. AND IT’S TIME TO DANCE! The music is still playing as I think we have a comedy match on our hands. Just a hunch mind you. Ok so now we’re ready to go with Sandman vs. Grunge. Sandy grabs a headlock but is sent to the floor. Everything breaks down quickly and they all head to the floor.

 

Everyone grabs a chair and gets back in the ring for a good old fashioned duel. Sandman and Grunge are thrown to the floor and Scorpio follows. They fight up the aisle and a fan offers 2 Cold a frying pan. He steals someone’s prosthetic hand instead. Well why not? Sandman goes into the crowd and Grunge is busted open. He hits a splash for two on Scorpio as we’re bordering on having a regular match.

 

Rocco hits Sandman with a pumpkin pie and Sandy is in the crowd again. Woman pulls Sandman out of the crowd. Sandman tags himself in and he jumps over the top (!!!) with something like a dropkick. Rocco comes in and hits a headscissors to take over. Slingshot legdrop by Sandman but he doesn’t cover.

 

Off to Scorpio who hits a slingshot splash for two. Scorpio vs. Rock at the moment if you’re all lost. Rock avoids a dropkick and escapes a tilt-a-whirl, only to miss a moonsault. The fans chant for SD Jones for some reason as Scorpio hits a double underhook powerbomb which is broken up at two.

 

Standing moonsault eats knees and it’s off to Sandman. Rocco (they’re Rocco Rock and Johnny Grunge if you’re totally confused by me changing named) still can’t bring in Grunge so Grunge comes in and pounds on Sandman. Woman cracks Rocco with a kendo stick and Sandman dives over the top to take out Grunge. Sandman gets backdropped onto a table which doesn’t break. FREAKING OW MAN.

 

Grunge finally goes through the table and everything breaks down even further. Rock hits a big moonsault to the floor as they need to end this soon. A broom handle is brought in from somewhere with Scorpio taking over with it. There it goes though so 2 Cold settles for a Stinger Splash and moonsault for two on Rocco. We’re tagging again now and Grunge gets the hot tag. Sandman comes in sans tag but Public Enemy screws up their finisher and Sandman falls on top for the pin.

 

Rating: D. Yeah this went too long. These guys aren’t the ones you want having seventeen minutes. This was better as a comedy match but then again I might have just wanted to see Woman dance. Either way, not much here and Sandman getting the pin was pretty much the only logical choice since he lost the title to Mikey in the first place.

 

Sandman is out but Scorpio pours beer down his throat. And it’s time to dance again. SCORPIO DROPS THE BEER! Sandman catches it and the look on his face is priceless.

 

On the actual card Axl Rotten beat JT Smith here but it was a dark match.

 

We recap Commissioner Tod Gordon vs. Fonzie, a referee. Shane Douglas lost the world title to Sandman and said he wanted a better referee in the form of Fonzie who would call matches right down the line. This of course made him by far and away the biggest heel in the company almost by default (not kidding).

 

Fonzie punched Gordon when Gordon yelled at him so 911 gave Fonzie one of the biggest chokeslams you’ll ever see (LONG story there but it was some of the most brilliant storytelling you’ll ever see. In short the move was banned but Fonzie had to unban it so someone could use it. 911 immediately hit the ring to kill Fonzie with it and blow the roof off the place). Fonzie also got in a fight with Beaulah who is the referee tonight.

 

Bill Alphonso vs. Tod Gordon

 

Beaulah is referee and I really want to know what Dreamer did in a past life to get her. He must have invented beer or something. Remember neither of them are wrestlers so this is only going to be so good. Gordon jumps him and they fight by Sign Guy and Hat Guy. Beulah slaps Gordon so he clotheslines her. Tod (Commissioner) Gordon (HOLY NON WRESTLER BATMAN!) comes in and Joey is losing it.

 

Tod takes him down and says let’s fight. Not sure why he needed to grab a mic to say that but whatever. Gordon takes off his jacket and wins a slugout. This isn’t a match for the most part but they’re trying. Fonzie gets a low blow and says he’s going to beat Gordon up. Joey: “It’s not over yet you rat faced excuse for a human being!” And remember: this is because Fonzie is a GOOD referee.

 

Fonzie takes the time to talk to the camera and Gordon gets a WICKED cooking sheet shot to the head. After he gets hit, Fonzie starts jabbing himself in the head and what do you know he’s bleeding from there. Gordon is shockingly passable here. Gordon finds a frying pan but Fonzie gets it, only to take a low blow. Joey is absolutely losing it over this. Frying pan to the head but Beaulah is still down from like five minutes ago.

 

And now for the important part of the night. Taz runs out to be referee since he was earlier in the night and counts two for Gordon, only to stop and deck Gordon then put Fonzie on top for the pin. To say Taz is instantly hated is like saying Cena was hated against Punk at MITB.

 

Rating: A+. Ok now keep something in mind here: this is a legit businessman vs. a referee. All things considered, THIS WAS AWESOME. They were beating the tar out of each other and it had the fans going nuts, even by ECW standards. Not a thing wrong here and the whole thing worked. Considering who was out there, great stuff.

 

Taz wants to talk. This is probably the most important part of the entire show. The fans chant for Sabu and Taz says he’s not coming out. Taz talks about how he got no cards, no letters or phone call. When Dreamer hurt his fingers everyone cried and freaked. Same with Funk. When Sabu got his neck broken, everyone was worried about him. What about Taz?

 

Fonzie shouts into the camera that Taz is his guy. Taz says screw the fans and screw Heyman. Heyman said take your time to get back. Quote: “Screw you Heyman. My father ain’t some fat Jew lawyer that pays my way through life.” Taz says Fonzie cares about him and wants to put food on his table and money in his pocket. Gordon is still out cold on the mat. Taz says since no one cares about the two of them, they don’t care about the fans.

 

Taz stops for a bit and Joey talks about how stunned he is to see Taz finally sell out. Fans are trying to rush the ring. Taz lays on his back and says bring it. This whole thing was Taz’s epic heel turn which would result in him beating basically everyone on the roster for the next year, almost always in a squash while he begged Sabu to come out and fight him. That wouldn’t happen for a year and a half, resulting in one of the main events at their first PPV, Barely Legal. Mad heat on him here and a great heel turn.

 

ECW World Title: Sandman vs. Mikey Whipwreck

 

Sandman is making his entrance (through the entrance) but is jumped by some guy with long blonde hair who is making his in ring debut tonight, taking Sandman’s place to challenge for the title.

 

ECW World Title: Mikey Whipwreck vs. Steve Austin

 

Yes, THAT Steve Austin. He had cut some promos but this is his first of I think two matches in ECW before he signed with WWF. He drinks Sandman’s beer while Sandman is taken out. There was a line at some point in ECW (not this show) where Joey asked if you could imagine Steve Austin drinking beer and flipping people off on Monday Night Raw. Not really connected here but Sandman takes awhile to get taken out.

 

The idea behind Whipwreck is that he won the title on a fluke after being a total jobber for years. Austin says his debut is the thing to remember. He’s sounding like Stone Cold here rather than Stunning Steve so this is where he really got his start, at least with that character. Austin says that for tonight, Whipwreck is Eric Bischoff to him. Joey: “KILL HIM! Wait I didn’t mean that!”

 

Steve jumps him to start and the beating begins. Mikey has had no offense at all as Austin mauls him. He beats on him on the floor then in the ring and back on the floor again. Mark this date down: THE ECW ARENA IS CHANTING HOGAN. It’s to tick Austin off but it happened! Just because he’s Austin, he hits a big boot and drops a leg for two.

 

Mikey has had no offense at all. He reverses a whip on the floor though and Austin doesn’t seem to mind. Mikey hammers away but walks into a Stun Gun (Austin’s finisher at the time) but it only gets two. Mikey grabs a sunset flip out of nowhere (complete with the tights coming down) for the SHOCK pin to retain.

 

Rating: C. You can barely call this a match but it did what it was supposed to do. Whipwreck keeps the title (for some reason) but Austin losing is the important part. It resulted in him losing his mind and being all crazy, which apparently was what caught WWF’s eye and got him his job, which ultimately saved Vince’s company.

 

Hack Meyers vs. Sabu

 

Meyers is more or less just a biker. You know this might have been a better surprise if he hadn’t come out earlier. Sabu works on the knee of all things to start and messes up a snapmare (Meyers landed on him). Time for a chinlock. FEEL THE EXTREME! It’s chair time and a slingshot dive in with the chair gets two. We go to an armbar and the fans are calling it boring.

 

Springboard leg lariat gets two and we hit the chinlock again. Meyers makes a comeback and hits a powerslam for two. A weird facebuster off the top which is Hack’s finisher gets two. They go to the floor quickly but Sabu drops a leg for two. Meyers wins a slugout but Sabu goes onto Meyers’ shoulders and gets a DDT to take him down. Spinning leg lariat puts Meyers outside and Sabu hits a diving rana to the floor.

 

After a bit more brawling on the floor we go back in but Sabu dives into a powerbomb. Release suplex put Sabu down but Meyers goes up and gets caught in a victory roll off the top for two. This is going WAY too long for a big return over a glorified jobber. Meyers goes up but gets dropped on a chair. Sabu hits a rana to put them on the floor AGAIN. Sabu sets up a table and dives over the top through it, half killing Meyers. That only gets two in the ring so Sabu slams him and the Atomic Arabian Facebuster (flipping double legdrop with a chair in between) ends this FINALLY.

 

Rating: D. See, when a superstar like Sabu returns, it should be total dominance. This mostly was, but the fact that it took so long made Sabu look kind of weak. Not his worst stuff, but at the same time it just went way too long at about 13:00. Heyman would manage Sabu for awhile until we got to his match with Taz.

 

Sabu acknowledges Meyers for his efforts.

 

Terry Funk/Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven/Cactus Jack

 

Main event time. Funk is “planning on retiring”. That’s just amusing. Funk says he’ll remember what happened with Cactus last night forever. Apparently it was a big attack on Terry but Dreamer made the save. This is a revenge match for Funk and Dreamer always hates Raven Cactus is in a WCW Dungeon of Doom t-shirt. He was in a WEIRD (yet awesome) heel push where he longed to be back in WCW with “Uncle Eric”.

 

The pairings pair off and Raven and Jack rule the ring for the moment. Now we get to the brawl and Funk fights Raven. Stevie Richards brings in some weapons and gets put in a shopping cart for his troubles. Dreamer BLASTS Raven in the head with a freaking VCR. WHY WOULD YOU BRING ONE OF THOSE TO A WRESTLING SHOW??? In a funny bit, Dreamer hits him with the remote also.

 

Funk beats up the referee because he’s Terry Funk. Dreamer DDTs the referee for good measure. Funk hits Raven with a golf club in the putter. Cheese grater is broken up and Cactus drills Dreamer with a chair. Dreamer gets taken down by a double chain shot to the throat. Raven is busted open and poses anyway. Cactus channels his inner Abdullah as he jabs at Funk with a fork.

 

DDT to Dreamer as Raven and Cactus are dominating. They try the chain again but Dreamer does something smart and dives on it, bringing them together. Not that it matters as Cactus takes him down with ease. Cactus takes the Dungeon of Doom shirt to reveal another one with a huge picture of Eric Bischoff and the words “Forgive Me Uncle Eric” (coining that nickname) on the back. Only Mick Foley could make that work, period.

 

It’s more or less a big mess but were you really expecting something else here? Jack hits a double arm DDT on Funk onto the chair but there’s no referee. Raven dives over the top to take out Dreamer and Jack looks for more weapons. Here are Fonzie and Taz to be referees but Funk kicks out at two. Taz beats up Funk so Dreamer takes Taz out. Jumping DDT takes Raven down and for some reason a regular one does more damage. The referee is back up and Dreamer piledrives Raven onto a chair, letting Funk steal the pin.

 

Rating: B-. Pretty fun match overall as they kept things just weapons based instead of going everywhere. Also Jack having the continuing mental breakdowns in the middle of the match (the Uncle Eric thing) is great. Dreamer not beating Funk is one of those little things that makes a match better. Fun stuff here and one of the better brawls ECW did.

 

Cactus beats them down a bit but gets taken down too. DREAMER SUPERKICKS RICHARDS! Ok so it was in the ribs but still! Raven leaves Dreamer laying to end the show.

 

Overall Rating: B+. I can see why people would call this ECW’s best show ever. It likely is and it’s very good for the most part. Keeping in mind that this was 1995 and WCW was running stuff with monster trucks and mummies while WWF had King Mabel as top heel, this was a very different kind of show. They did their thing and let guys like Foley and Austin do their things, knowing what they had to work with. Very fun show but some of the stuff is a bit odd. Granted it wouldn’t have been for ECW fans so that takes some of it away I guess. Worth seeing though.

 

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ECW on TNN
Date: February 4, 2000
Location: War Memorial Auditorium, Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

Here’s another series that I haven’t done anything with in a long time. The main story is going to be Mike Awesome vs. Rob Van Dam, meaning tonight’s stories aren’t going to mean much by next week. RVD would break his ankle the night after this was taped, ending the story which could have prolonged ECW for a few more months. Let’s get to it.

Joey and Joel open things up in the ring as is their custom. Joel’s limerick of the week includes a very dated Elian Gonzalez joke which prompts a LOUD “send him back!” chant. Cyrus cuts him off before the profane punch line though and rants from his desk but Van Dam and Fonzie walk by in the back. RVD goes into Awesome’s dressing room and dives over a table to start the brawl.

Opening sequence followed by Joey running down the card.

Living Dangerously ad.

Raven is talking to the Sinister Minister in the back when Heyman comes in and tells Raven to snap out of it already.

Steve Corino/Rhyno vs. Tommy Dreamer/Dusty Rhodes

This is Dusty’s first match in six years and the idea is Dusty is the hardcore pioneer here in Florida. Corino wants to start with Dusty and threatens Dreamer with Rhyno violence if he doesn’t get his wish. Dusty comes in and offers Corino a free shot but runs away from a teased Bionic Elbow. Rhyno tags himself in and is immediately caught in Dusty’s horrible figure four. Jack Victory tries to come in but gets caught in a figure four as well. Even Francine puts one on Corino to complete the obvious joke.

Everything breaks down and they head into the set and crowd. Corino is busted open at Dusty’s hands and Dusty pounds on the cut even more in the ring. Off to Dreamer for a Bionic Elbow of his own but he heads to the floor where Rhyno crotches him on the barricade. Rhyno pounds on Dreamer back inside and hits a Gore in the corner for no cover.

A top rope splash gets two on Dreamer but Rhyno takes too much time going up a second time and Dreamer superplexes him down. Hot tag brings in Dusty and the good guys rain down right hands in opposite corners. Rhyno fights out and Gores Dreamer before clotheslining Dusty down. Dreamer comes back in with a chair to lay out Rhyno and the Bionic Elbow is enough to pin Corino.

Rating: C+. This was about as good as you’re going to get for a structured ECW match. They worked the tag team formula quite well here with Dreamer getting beaten down until he could make the hot tag to Dusty. The idea of Dusty getting his revenge on Corino was fine as well, making for an entertaining match.

The Impact Players are in a hot tub and say they need better competition. This is an excuse for Dawn Marie to be in a bikini and there’s not a thing wrong with that.

Danny Doring and Roadkill want to be tag team champions. Elektra gets annoyed when Doring mentions getting more women. She grabs him low and threatens far worse if he strays and threatens Dawn Marie a bit.

Joel makes fun of TNN because he can.

House show ads.

Mikey Whipwreck talks about how awesome he is and how he’s going to win the TV Title tonight.

TV Title: Mikey Whipwreck vs. Rob Van Dam

Mikey dives on Rob during the extended entrance to get things going. He sends Van Dam’s head into the railing and then into the post before hitting a bad looking rana to take Van Dam down. They head inside and Whipwreck gets two off a slingshot elbow followed by a top rope clothesline for the same. Van Dam hits a spin kick to the face for his first offense and adds the surfboard dropkick into a chair into Mikey’s face for good measure.

Back to the floor and Rob superkicks him over the barricade before hitting the spin kick off the apron into Mikey’s back. They head back inside for the cartwheel moonsault followed by Rolling Thunder onto a chair from the champion. Mikey comes back with a German suplex and a Pedigree onto the chair for two each. Another chair is thrown in for the Van Daminator and the Five Star retains the title.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t bad but it was little more than a spotfest. Mikey was there as a jobber to the stars and nothing more at this point so the match wasn’t going to be much more than a glorified squash. Van Dam could pop a crowd doing anything, which is why the injury really was the final straw for the company.

Mike Awesome is in the parking lot and wants to hurt both Spike and RVD.

Van Dam says his belt means more than Awesome’s.

House show ads.

We close the show with breaking news about Rob Van Dam breaking his leg in Orlando. More details next week.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a pretty decent show with some fun matches and story development, but as I said the whole promotion would be turned upside down by Van Dam’s injury. It completely derailed the main story the company had been building to for weeks and crippled everything they had going. That’s a shame too as this show was pretty entertaining stuff.

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