Lucha Underground
Date: March 25, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

This is a big night for the company as we have two title matches, including one for the AAA World Title as Alberto El Patron defends against former champion El Texano in a bullrope match. Other than that we have the Lucha Underground Title on the line with Prince Puma defending against Cage in a street fight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the two title feuds.

The announcers preview the title matches.

Angelico vs. Son of Havoc

Ivelisse gets the big reaction and can you really blame the crowd? Havoc goes right after Angelico to start and knocks him to the floor. He loads up a dive but bails out when Angelico ducks and just pounds him in the back. Back in and the very tall Angelico gets clotheslined for two before a Curb Stomp gets two for Havoc. A kick to the head from the mat drops Havoc for two as the fans sound like they’re cheering for Shaggy.

Havoc is sent to the floor for a BIG dive to really wake the fans up. You know, because they were so out of it before. Back in again and Havoc kicks him in the face, setting up a standing Shooting Star press for two. A backbreaker gets the same and Ivelisse is livid. She grabs him by the beard (Striker: “She’s got him by the short hairs!” Vampiro: “You said short hairs!”) but Havoc catches Angelico with a kick to the head.

A springboard double stomp to the back and a standing moonsault get two for Havoc before he counters a running Razor’s Edge bomb into the corner with a hurricanrana. SWEET counter. They head up top with Angelico getting crotched down, but Havoc wants a mic instead of diving on him. He blames Ivelisse for making him lose his matches and officially dumps her. Somehow Angelico can’t get out of the way of the Shooting Star to give Havoc the pin.

Rating: C+. I get the idea here, but who in the world is going to cheer Son of Havoc over Ivelisse? Yeah she yells a lot, but a woman that looks like that with her in ring abilities isn’t going to get booed for long. This would have been better if the roles were reversed, but I’ll give the announcers credit for treating her like she was a horrible person that needed to be gone.

Ivelisse slaps Angelico to let off some steam.

Cueto has signed former TNA wrestler Hernandez. He’ll be in the front row for the main event.

AAA Mega Title: Alberto El Patron vs. Texano

That would be the World Title and Alberto is defending. This is also a bullrope match with pins and submissions instead of touching the ropes. Texano starts choking in the corner and bites Patron’s face. A backdrop sends Texano to the apron though and Alberto dives through the ropes to take him down. The champ is holding his leg but seems to be fine. Vampiro wants to see Texano hit him in the face with a cowbell and that’s exactly what he gets early on.

We get a chair brought in and Texano CRACKS Alberto over the back. That sounded great. The chair is wedged in between the top and middle rope and you can already see Texano’s head going into it later on. A DDT plants El Patron but he nails Texano with the bell to take over again. Some clotheslines set up a Backstabber for no cover on Texano. It’s time for a whipping with the bell hitting the mat to make it look far worse than it really was. A quick Codebreaker gets two for Texano but he takes too long going up and gets superplexed for two.

The fans seem to be behind Texano but Alberto gets them back on his side by loading up the armbreaker, only to get sent into the chair in the corner. Wow it’s different in lucha libre. That goes nowhere for Texano as Alberto kicks him in the head for an EL PATRON chant. We get a table set up in the ring but Texano powerbombs Alberto through it for a very close two. Texano puts him on the ropes again but gets pulled down into the armbreaker to retain the title.

Rating: B. I had a good time with this and the ending was a great touch as so often you would see the hold broken because of the ropes. Thankfully they didn’t do something so nonsensical in a No DQ match. I always appreciate a smart move like that and it helped a lot here. Alberto as a face is golden and makes me wonder why WWE abandoned the idea after like six months.

Hernandez comes up to Puma in the back and says he’s a fan. Konnan gives Puma a pep talk.

Lucha Underground Title: Prince Puma vs. Cage

Cage is challenging and this is a street fight. There’s no actual title belt after Cage ripped it to pieces a few weeks back. Before the match, Cueto comes out with a huge new title belt which looks way better than the toy they had at first. Hernandez is in the front row as well. Puma dropkicks Cage to start but gets backdropped to the apron for a hard clothesline to knock him to the floor.

Cage easily counters a hurricanrana off the apron and powerbombs the champ into the post as Vampiro talks about how the name of the street fight doesn’t change much. Puma superkicks him to stop a chair shot before hitting something like a Van Daminator to take over. We get a trashcan lid brought in (Vampiro: “It’s one of those things just laying around!”) to nail Cage several times before a Shooting Star onto the lid onto Cage keeps both guys down.

It’s table time but Puma takes too long, allowing Cage to blast him in the head with the lid. Back in and a rack into a double knee backbreaker gets two on the champ and the fans are split. Cage gets kicked off the apron and eats a running hurricanrana for a big reaction. It’s back to the table now with Puma hitting a SWEET springboard 450 to drive Cage through. Unfortunately Cage is dead weight now so Puma takes forever to get him inside for two.

Cage pops up and shoves Puma to the floor to break up the 630 (I guess he’s not a flippy fan). He puts Puma’s head through a chair and drives it into the post before sending Konnan into the barricade for some real heat. Without checking on his mentor, Puma takes him back inside for a kick to the head and a chair shot for two.

The 630 misses and Cage gets two off a discus lariat. Weapon X plants Puma but Cage hammers away instead of covering like the rookie schmuck he is. A double powerbomb, with the second onto a trashcan, looks to end him but Cage screws up AGAIN by calling out Hernandez. The distraction lets Konnan get in a metal cane shot, setting up the 630 for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was good but went on a bit too long. Also, Cage comes off like an idiot killing machine, which makes sense but is still kind of annoying. I’m not wild on Hernandez but he’s a name people have heard of and the history fits with Konnan. Puma needed a win like this ala Shawn vs. Diesel in 1996 so it’s hard to find a major complaint other than the length.

Overall Rating: B+. This was another good show for the company as they keep things going at a fast pace. I like that the Lucha Underground Title main evented this show as it really should be the more important title, even though the AAA belt means way more. It’s a good show from a good promotion with two hard hitting matches and Ivelisse. What else do you need?

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Lucha Underground
Date: March 18, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Matt Striker, Vampiro

This company has been on a roll in the last few weeks and I’m looking forward to this show more every time. The big story coming out of last week was Johnny Mundo taking out King Cuerno in the cage and likely getting closer to a title shot. Other than that we have Big Ryck hunting the Crew for putting his eye out with a lit cigar. That just sounds cool. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Crew attacking Ryck and Ryck beating Sexy Star to earn a three on one match against the Crew. Another video us the Aero Star vs. Drago series and Mil Muertes vs. Fenix tonight in a casket match. I’m digging these quick recaps to bring viewers up to speed. Notice that Lucha Underground can do these in about a minute while WWE takes close to five sometimes.

Aero Star vs. Drago

This is match three in a best of five series with the score tied. Drago scores with a quick headscissors but Star armdrags him right back down for another standoff. We hit the mat for something resembling an STF from Drago, followed by a modified figure four. This is more psychology than I’ve seen in this company in months. Back up and Star gets two off a victory roll as his leg seems perfectly fine. So much for the psychology.

They head to the floor with Star diving under the bottom rope and catching Drago coming in with a right hand to the head. Both guys try cross bodies back inside and we get a breather. Star sends him outside for a big flip dive but Drago grabs an Orton DDT for two on the way back in. A spinning Rock Bottom gets the same on Star, so he changes the pace with a hard kick to the face.

Star misses the springboard splash though and both guys are down again. That sell job lasts all of five seconds before Drago sends him back to the floor for a big corkscrew plancha. A Liger Bomb plants Star again but he crotches Drago on top, setting up the completely unnecessary rope walk into a hurricanrana. Now the springboard splash is enough to give Star the pin.

Rating: C+. The other day I heard some people talk about the Fast and the Furious franchise. Those movies are never going to win Best Picture, they rarely make sense, and the stuff they do is purely for flash instead of substance. However, they are SO fun to watch and entertain a lot of people. That’s what these matches are: they’re not supposed to be anything great, but man alive are they fun to watch.

They shake hands post match.

Konnan revenge video, this time with a chess theme. According to Konnan, it’s all about protecting the king. The camera pans up to show that he’s playing with Puma. Gah I was hoping it meant Chessman was coming.

The Crew vs. Big Ryck

Elimination rules. Gah I can’t stand it when the three of them fight together as I can never remember which is which. Ryck slugs all three guys to start but they quickly get him down and pound away. Castro kicks Ryck in the head and nails a running forearm. A top rope double stomp into a DDT gets two and the slow beating continues.

Bael puts a chair in the corner but Ryck rams two of them (does it really matter which they are? They’re almost entirely interchangeable) and finds a kendo stick to break over Cisco’s back. A chokeslam/spinebuster is enough to eliminate Bael but the other two break up a double chokeslam attempt. Their double suplex is countered as well as Ryck suplexes both of them down instead. Striker on the counter: “If you’ve ever watched wrestling you know what’s about to happen.”

Oh screw off Striker. “HAHA I’M SO SMART I KNOW EVERYTHING THAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN!” It’s bad enough that I have to put up with the WWE guys but now the indy announcers have to be all smarky instead of calling the match and being impressed by what they’re seeing? Instead of marveling at Ryck’s display of strength, we get to hear Striker chuckle because it’s been done before. You never hear that when the smaller guys do the same flips and stupid spots week after week, but it’s an old school WWE style guy so it’s not worthy of being entertained by. Good grief.

Anyway Ryck clotheslines Castro with the broken stick for an elimination and it’s one on one. Cisco tries to walk out but Sexy Star throws him into the railing. Back in and a punch to the eye (or close to it at least) busts Cisco open. Ryck Rock Bottoms him through an open chair for the final pin.

Rating: D. Striker getting on my nerves aside, this was a pretty lame match. Ryck dominating is the right move but the Crew is pretty much done now. Come to think of it maybe this is the best possible outcome as there’s no reason to care about them for the most part. Like I said, they’re just three guys who have nothing that sets them apart from each other.

Next week Alberto El Patron defends the AAA World Title against Texano in a bullrope match and Prince Puma defends the Lucha Underground Title against Cage in a street fight. Cool.

Fenix vs. Mil Muertes

This is Grave Consequences, meaning a casket match. They tie it into the Day of the Dead, which is a Mexican holiday celebrating those that have passed on. A bunch of ghouls bring the casket to the ring to really crank up the weird. Muertes has that sacred rock of his but Fenix has Catrina.

The brawl is on in the aisle to start and Mil rips away at Fenix’s face. Fenix comes back by choking him on the middle rope but missing Roman Reigns’ apron kick. He does however hit a big flip dive to put Muertes down again though, which Vampiro says looks like a mummified body being thrown off a ship. Muertes rams him head first into the casket before throwing Fenix through a bunch of flowers.

Fenix comes back with a DDT onto the casket to dent the lid, which Muertes appropriately sells like death. Another big dive is loaded up but Muertes lifts the casket up and Fenix hits it like a wall. Now we get serious as Muertes unhooks the bottom rope and blasts Fenix in the head with the hook that holds the ropes together. The mask is ripped open and Fenix is busted open. Muertes bites at the cut as this gets very violent in a hurry. They head up the steps with Muertes in total control.

Muertes keeps trying to kill him by suplexing him off the balcony but Fenix escapes, only to get punched down the steps. A powerbomb puts Fenix onto the announcers’ table but he wants to keep going. Muertes pulls the casket into the ring and sets it up in the corner. Fenix staggers back in but charges into a belly to belly suplex onto the coffin. After Muertes bites his cut even more, Fenix nails a superkick for a breather but gets pulled off the top by a running Codebreaker. The blood is literally dripping from Fenix’s head.

Mil takes him into the crowd and pelts a chair at his head. Fenix somehow throws him over the short balcony and hits a BIG flip dive to put Muertes down again. Muertes comes back by sending him into the barricade but Fenix pops up and hits a moonsault press off the same barricade to drop Mil one more time. Back up and Mil’s spear hits Catrina by mistake but she gets up in time to open the coffin so Fenix can double stomp Muertes inside. Catrina licks the stone and throws it inside with him for the win.

Rating: A-. Excellent brawl here with the two guys beating the tar out of each other. That cut on Fenix’s head was sick and the blood dripping out of it was quite the image. Fenix is a made man for the foreseeable future and that’s the point of something like this. Muertes is the kind of character who can go away for a few weeks and then come back with a new feud and make people forget about this loss. Great stuff here.

Overall Rating: A. Outstanding show here as this company is nailing the idea of week to week booking. There are two title matches next week with the AAA Title feeling like the bigger deal. We also might get to see what Konnan’s revenge is all about, which makes the last two weeks and next week feel like an awesome three hour pay per view. Really good stuff this week and this company is on fire right now.

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Lucha Underground
Date: March 11, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

This show is getting better and better every week and this show might be one of the better shows with Johnny Mundo vs. King Cuerno inside a cage. That sounds like the recipe for a big spot to end the match, which could be insane given Mundo’s high flying abilities. We’ve also got all the other guys running around who can blow your mind on any given night. Let’s get to it.

We open with a series of quick recaps on Pentagon Jr., Son of Havoc/Ivelisse and King Cuerno vs. Johnny Mundo.

Pentagon Jr. vs. Argenis

This is a small step up for Pentagon as Argenis is the brother of the original Sin Cara. Feeling out process to start with Argenis kicking Pentagon in the leg to block a monkey flip. A superkick sends Pentagon to the floor, setting up an Asai moonsault to put both guys down on the floor. Back in and Pentagon gets all ticked off but heads up top and eats a right hand to the face. A hurricanrana gets two for Argenis as Striker calls the referee the Iron Mike Sharpe of officiating due to his constant injuries.

Pentagon kicks Argenis down and hits a VERY loud overhand chop to the chest. A gorilla press into the corner (cool move) knocks Argenis silly and Pentagon puts him in a reverse Tree of Woe for a dropkick to the back of the head. Argenis gets superkicked as Striker randomly mentions Josh Barnett of New Japan. A big flip dive over the top takes Argenis down again and it’s the package piledriver into the arm lock for the win.

Rating: C. I like Pentagon being all angry and evil, but his matches have almost no flow to them. He’d be a good option as a higher level deadly heel and it seems that’s where he’s headed. They couldn’t just keep feeding him jobbers though so Argenis, who to be fair isn’t that higher up on the food chain, was a good step up.

Pentagon snaps the arm to continue his custom.

Catrina goes in to see Fenix and tells him that Mil won’t stop until Fenix is destroyed. Therefore, Fenix must bury him.

We get a cool video of Konnan welding together a new metal staff and destroying things with it. Revenge is coming. I said it was cool. I never said it made sense.

We see King Cuerno driving to the arena. That kind of kills the hunter image.

Ivelisse vs. Angelico

Son of Havoc is referee, which Vampiro doesn’t get for some reason. Striker thinks this has Cueto’s fingers all over it. Good grief those two make my head hurt. Angelico kisses her hand to start and takes her down with ease but gets caught in an armdrag. They do the same sequence again minus the kiss before Ivelisse hits a nice hurricanrana to send Angelico to the floor, setting up a big corkscrew dive.

Back in and Angelico sends her hard into the corner but misses a running knee. Vampiro thinks Havoc pulled her out of the way, which makes me think Havoc did no such thing. Angelico blocks a knee bar but gets rolled up for a very slow two. Some sunset flips don’t work for Angelico but he keeps pulling her down onto his chest to give Ivelisse two counts. Back up and Ivelisse chops Angelico to his knees but Havoc blocks Angelico from doing the same to her.

Angelico’s delayed suplex is countered into a guillotine choke but he just rubs her back instead of being in pain. Now Angelico gets somewhere close to serious by kicking her in the head but Havoc breaks up a crucifix bomb. Ivelisse snaps off another hurricanrana for two but Angelico swings at Havoc, only to nail her by mistake. Ivelisse is out cold and Angelico gets the easy pin.

Rating: D-. Well that happened. We get the idea that guys and girls fight here, but they’ve done a horrible job at making the girls look entertaining. You would think the best idea here would be to have Sexy Star vs. Ivelisse a few times, but instead we’ve had to be reminded that the girls are nowhere near as good as their male counterparts. Thanks for clarifying that Lucha Underground. I never would have gotten it otherwise.

Catrina comes in to see Muertes and warns him of a Grave Consequences (casket) match against Fenix next week. Death is coming for Muertes.

King Cuerno vs. Johnny Mundo

Pinfall, submission or escape. Since the announcers don’t bother to explain what happened between these two, Mundo pinned him in Aztec Warfare and Cuerno has been hunting him since. Cuerno beat the tar out of him in a regular match that ended in a double countout, so lock them in a cage. They slug it out to start with Cuerno throwing him into the corner but getting dropkicked for two.

Back up and it’s a standoff, much to the crowd’s delight. Mundo sends him into the corner and takes him down again as the fans are in Cuerno’s corner all of a sudden. Granted this is a pretty easy crowd to please so it’s not that shocking. Cuerno gets two off a top rope (in the middle instead of the corner) and we hit the armbar. Now the fans like Mundo but Cuerno shuts them up by sending him into the cage. He continues the theme by rubbing Johnny’s face against the steel before going to the cage, only to have Mundo get to the top for a slugout.

Mundo gets knocked down but Cuerno misses a running double knee into the cage. The breakdancing legdrop gets two and Mundo throws Cuerno into the cage. That earns a holy chant, though I’m not sure why. Mundo escapes the Thrill of the Hunt and hits a Regal Roll, followed by a standing shooting star for two. Cuerno pops back up and catches Mundo trying to escape, setting up a Batista Bomb off the cage wall for another near fall.

This time it’s Johnny going up for the save but he has to pull Cuerno up by the mask. They kick it out on the top rope until both guys crash down to the mat. Back up and Cuerno is sent into the cage over and over before a spear gets two for Johnny. They fight to the top again with Cuerno chopping Mundo’s chest off. Johnny throws him back to the mat but stops climbing down to hit a big corkscrew plancha for the pin.

Rating: B. Really fun spot fest cage match here with Cuerno throwing everything he had at Mundo before the big spot at the end. The match was missing drama though as there were only one or two near falls. Other than that though, I don’t have many complaints here and this was a good big gimmick match for a promotion of this size.

Overall Rating: B. Another good show here but the Ivelisse match brings things way down. She’s gorgeous and talented, but no one could survive booking like she was in tonight. It’s still a really good show though and they’re more than capable of keeping an entertaining show going. There was no Alberto, Texano or Cueto tonight, which means they’re firmly in the NXT mode of going from one part of the roster to the other.

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And meets some wrestlers.

I believe this is the fifth year this thing has been held but I’ve never been able to go before, despite it being a ten minute round trip from my house. Thanks to you guys buying my books in droves though, I was able to go and meet some people I’ve watched for years. A lot of this has nothing to do with wrestling but I’ll throw it in anyway. Unfortunately I didn’t take any pictures as the prices are INSANE. The cheapest photo from a celebrity was and if I had gotten one with everyone I wanted to meet, it would have been over 0, so I went with free handshakes instead. Too many people around for regular pictures too. Let’s get to it.

Since this was your standard geek fest comic con, there were a lot of Star Wars and Power Ranger names there. From Star Wars, I got to meet Peter Mayhew (Chewbacca) and Jeremy Bulloch (the original Boba Fett). Now I have pretty big hands. I’ve only met a few people with hands bigger than I have. Peter Mayhew almost palmed my hand. It blew my mind.

Time for the Power Rangers guys, starting with Bulk and Skull. These two were by far the most entertaining guys at the entire event and seemed to be having a blast. A fan in front of me asked their happiest day on the show. Bulk said the day Jason left the show, because he went to college which was more important than any show he could have done. That’s an awesome thing to say. I told Bulk that I used to hate them as kids and it was overcoming a small nightmare to meet them. Bulk got about a foot from my face and asked if I wanted a new nightmare. I backed up a bit and he smiled and shook my hand. These guys were a blast.

I met the Black Ranger (Zach), Red Ranger (Jason) and the Blue Ranger (Billy). Zach was a nice guy but a bit quiet. We had a quick chat about most adults not understanding the show. Jason I just got a quick handshake because I was right next to him as the next guests were paying. He has the same serious voice that he had on the show and looked me right in the eye as he said nice to meet you. Billy was always my favorite ranger so it was really cool to meet him. He asked my name and said he was David which is always a nice touch. These guys were really cool and it was such a great flashback to being a kid.

Tara Reid from Sharknado was there. She doesn’t look bad in person but you can tell a lot of her looks are from a makeup artist. She also sounded like she smoked about five packs of cigarettes a day which really doesn’t sound good. This was where I learned a big lesson about comic cons: if you aren’t buying their stuff, these people rarely want to talk to you. All of them were nice and everything, but my goodness they kind of brush you off if you don’t pay far too much money for a photo. Then again, I didn’t really care to meet her so it wasn’t a big deal.

Also of note, as I was standing in that line, I got to shake Ernie Hudson’s (Winston from Ghostbusters) hand. He was one of the headliners and I really didn’t want to stand in line for half an hour to meet him so this was about as good as it was going to get. He seemed like a nice guy and was smiling and talking to all the people there to see him.

I got out of the Tara Reid line and saw the other headliner’s booth: GOLDBERG. Yes THAT Goldberg, meaning I got to have a nice chat with a fellow fan as I stoop in line. Price for a picture and autograph: $80. This wasn’t as bad though as the attendant said Goldberg had nothing to do with the prices and it was due to a deal they had to make with a photographer. He also offered a deal: picture alone for just $30. I didn’t take it but the guy was very nice and seemed to agree that the prices were ridiculous.

As for Goldberg, he was the polar opposite of how he was on TV. He was laughing, chuckling and talking to everyone that came to see him. It seemed like he was really happy to be there and kept shouting to the fans in line waiting to see him. He even gorilla pressed a decent sized fan over his head and pumped him up and down several times, drawing applause. In one of the best moments I had all day, Goldberg told me I was next. Seriously, awesome.

As I was walking down to get to the people I really wanted to see, I met Rita Repulsa (Power Rangers villain). Much like Tara Reid, if you don’t get her stuff, she’ll be polite but not much more.

Now we get to the main event for me: the wrestling section. First up was Sgt. Slaughter, who saluted me and chatted with me a bit. Back in the day he gave me his helmet at a house show so I had something to talk about with him. It’s so bizarre to shake the hand of someone who main evented Wrestlemania. He’s the third former World Champion I ever got to meet and it never gets old to see.

Next up was Greg Valentine, who looks to be about 84 years old. He was a nice guy and has huge hands as well, making it a rare day with two people with bigger hands than I had. I asked him if there would ever be a Rhythm and Blues Greatest Hits album which got a chuckle from him. He said the closest thing to that was hitting people with guitars and chuckled again.

Then I got to meet the greatest heel of all time: the Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase. I could barely hear him over all the noise but I got to tell him he was the best I had ever seen and he seemed appreciative. Then to possibly top the Goldberg line, Ted DiBiase laughed at me. That thing is CHILLING in person, even though it was nowhere near as strong as he used to be with it.

Next we had the man I wanted to see more than anyone: Jim Cornette. I talked to him longer than anyone else all day (maybe two minutes or so) and got to hear stories about Skandor Akbar. These are the kinds of things I could hear about all day and never get bored. I even got to find out where the tennis racket came from (he needed something with range to knock fans away from him). This might have been the highlight of the day as Cornette is one of my wrestling heroes.

Last person downstairs was James Hampton, who most of you likely haven’t heard of. He played the bugler Dobbs on an old show called F Troop. Hampton looked MISERABLE and barely moved to shake my hand without saying a word. I didn’t think he had the energy to talk to me so I moved upstairs.

The second floor was much smaller than the first so there wasn’t much to see. The main attraction for me was Victoria/Tara but she was off to lunch while I was up there and I didn’t have time to wait for her. I got a very quick handshake from Ernie Reyes Jr., who is best known as Keno from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II.

However, there was a surprise guest from our world: Brian Knobbs. Again, not much here but anytime you can meet a former champion, it’s a cool experience.

Overall it was a very fun day and well worth the $30 (plus $1 to have my picture taken with a Ghostbusters proton pack). If there’s ever a con near you and you’re a fan of geeky stuff like this, check the guest list and see if there’s anyone you want to see. Just be ready to stand in line for a good while though as it can take its sweet time.

Lucha Underground
Date: February 25, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

There are a lot of stories going on around here and the main match tonight is Cage vs. Lucha Underground Champion Prince Puma in a non-title match for a potential future title shot. Other than that we have the continuing rivalry between Texano and Alberto El Patron over the AAA World Title. Let’s get to it.

A car pulls up and a woman is tied up in the back.

The house band plays us in. They really don’t need to exist.

The announcers recap recent events. I want to punch both of these guys in the face.

Aerostar vs. Drago

We get a rare handshake to start before Drago is sent to the floor ten seconds in, setting up a springboard dive from Aerostar. Back in and Drago rolls up a limping Aerostar for two but the selling lasts all of five seconds. That doesn’t sit well with Drago so he hits a springboard tornado DDT followed by a not great looking throw into a faceplant for two. Drago misses a charge into the corner and takes a running kick to the back.

A kick sends Aerostar to the floor with Drago hitting an even better flip dive as they’re flying fast so far. Aerostar pops back up and avoids a charge on the apron, sending Drago face first into the post. It’s Aerostar going up 2-1 on the dives, even though he almost leaves it short and crashes.

Back in and Drago hits a top rope hurricanrana before doing one of the most overly complicated dives into a cradle (Dragon’s Lair) that I’ve ever seen. The flips took nearly five seconds and only got a one count. The fans think this is awesome as Aerostar sunset bombs him out to the floor. A springboard splash back inside is good enough to pin Drago in a fast ending.

Rating: C+. RIDICULOUS (in a bad way) flips aside, this was the kind of match you want to open a show like this. Usually you would want something like this in the middle of a show but given that this is just 45 minutes long after commercials, there’s not enough time to build up a regular card. Very fun, but certainly not technically sound, match.

Aerostar helps him up and they shake hands again post match. Cueto comes out and says he enjoyed that. These two have fought twice now and it’s 1-1. This match was so entertaining that they’re going to face each other until someone wins two more times. The winner will get a unique opportunity. I could live with that idea, especially when it’s not something we see that often in today’s wrestling.

King Cuerno video.

Cage vs. Prince Puma

Non-title and you would think this would end the show. The champ goes right after Cage to start but is shoved down with ease. A discus forearm staggers Cage and Puma heads to the apron, only to eat a HARD clothesline, sending him back first onto the apron and head first onto the floor in a sick crash. The Cesaro apron superplex gets two for Cage and he catches a cross body with ease and throws Puma down with a fall away slam.

We hit the neck crank before he misses an enziguri and gets thrown down again. All Cage so far and a powerslam drops Puma one more time. Cage misses a moonsault though and an enziguri sends him outside. A HUGE running shooting star off the top stuns Cage again and sends Striker into full mark mode. The springboard 450 only gets two on Cage so he throws Puma around with a gutwrench suplex. He tries one too many though and gets hurricanranaed down.

A Phoenix Splash misses and Cage is all ticked off, setting up a wicked discus lariat to turn Puma inside out for two. Cage plants him with a sitout powerbomb for two more and we hit a Brock Lock. Cue the injured Konnan, who starts a Puma chant and draws Puma the full nine inches to the ropes. A powerbomb into a buckle bomb into Weapon X (a Gory Bomb into a downward spiral) is enough to make Konnan throw in the towel to give the match to Cage.

Rating: B-. This was more storytelling than a match and there’s nothing wrong with that. Cage is a monster and I’m really surprised WWE let him go off his developmental contract. He has the look and the power, but for some reason they didn’t see potential in him. You would think he would be perfect as a bodyguard for someone in a Matt Morgan style role. Either way, this sets up a big showdown at some point in the future with an easy yet good story.

After a break, Konnan tells Puma that he just did him a favor.

Sexy Star rants to Cueto about the Crew injuring her friends and promises to put them in hospital. Cueto’s offer: a match about Big Ryck next week with the winner getting to face the Crew. No man is allowed to help her next week either. Now THAT is some smart booking and an interesting way to get us to multiple potential conclusions.

Vinny Massaro vs. Pentagon Jr.

Massaro is a regular in California. Pentagon dedicates this match to unnamed master. A hard chop puts Massaro down to start and that double underhook driver is enough to give Pentagon the easy pin.

Pentagon powerbombs him through a table for good measure. The arm is cranked to keep up the evil streak.

King Cuerno vs. Johnny Mundo

This should be good but it makes no sense to have it as the main event when you had Puma vs. Cage. Mundo charges at Cuerno to start but eats a forearm. That just ticks him off more though as Mundo hammers away and hits a running knee to the face for two. A superkick knocks Cuerno off the apron and sets up a HUGE spinning flip dive to take Cuerno down one more time.

Back in and Cuerno slams Johnny down and drops a leg for two. It’s back to the knee as Striker determines that a corner is sacred for some reason. Mundo fights back with right hands and a spear for two with his knee not being in any noticeable pain. Cuerno tries to spin around Mundo’s arm but falls down on his face. To be fair though, that was quite the difficult looking spot. Thrill of the Hunt doesn’t work and Mundo kicks him down again. A superkick knocks Mundo into the corner but he comes back with a springboard knee to the chest.

The Moonlight Drive looks to set up the End of the World but Cuerno kicks Mundo to the floor. A good looking suicide dive sends Johnny into the barricade as this is really picking up. Now the knee is giving out. Convenient timing after all his high spots are done. Cuerno goes back inside for an even bigger suicide dive, driving Mundo’s spine into the announcers’ table. The third suicide dive connects and Mundo is DONE, but Cuerno can’t beat the count back in either for a double countout.

Rating: B-. Heck of a fight here but Mundo really didn’t look like he was able to hang in there with Cuerno, which really doesn’t hold up for the sake of a rematch. Those suicide dives looked great though and confirm Cuerno’s status as my favorite guy in this promotion. Really fun beating at the end but Striker continued to get on my nerves and brought it down a few pegs.

Mundo gets back up and dives between the ropes onto Cuerno’s back. A kick to Cuerno’s face drops him as well and they fight up the steps. Striker says Cuerno knows the jungle so well. That’s such an appropriate line because it has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT’S GOING ON AT THE MOMENT. Mundo spears him through a wall (the Jungle Wall right Striker?) and that’s it.

Well almost all of it as we see the car from earlier again.

Overall Rating: B. Really solid episode this week as they set up a lot of stuff for the future and had some great action at the same time. There’s some real talent on this roster with Cuerno and Puma standing out, but guys like Cage and Pentagon have potential as well. The key to this show continues to be its logical, week to week booking which is the best thing a company like this can do: give you a reason to come back next week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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As a life long Flintstones fan, I’ve been waiting for a very long time for this movie to come out. The Scooby-Doo movie was actually pretty solid for a quick hour and a half sit through, but this is just fifty minutes long. I’m really not sure if this is going to work as well, but I’m going to give a list of thoughts/issues throughout the whole thing. Expect some rare Flintstones fan boy rage in this one. Let’s get to it.

So first and foremost, this thing’s full title is The Flintstones and WWE: Stone Age Smackdown. That’s quite the wordy title, and the movie is only 49 minutes long. At the end of the day though, that’s probably a good thing. This really isn’t very good and didn’t need to be made. There’s a really basic plot (Fred needs money, thinks sports entertainment (not wrestling. Unless I missed it, that word is never used) is an easy way to afford a vacation) and everything is wrapped up really fast. There are only two wrestling shows in the whole thing and less than five matches.

Of course the main thing here is the wrestlers, but there aren’t many to go around. The entire cast from WWE is:

John Cena: a relative of Mr. Slate (which means he’s actually related to Barney if this is cannon) who can throw around dinosaurs.

Rey Mysterio: a guy who works in an office and wears a mask for no apparent reason.

Undertaker: an undertaker, who messes with a tablet a lot.

Bella Twins: two girls from Bedrock. They’re in this about three minutes combined.

Daniel Bryan: just there for a YES cameo.

CM Punk: villain. More on him later.

Mark Henry: Punk’s lackey.

Vince McMahon: owns a raw fish bar. GET IT?

And that’s it. The wrestlers are pretty limited here, and it’s made even stranger by the fact that they’re not wrestlers. They’re just people Fred hires to be in his shows, meaning they don’t know how to wrestle a match. Undertaker and Cena use tombstones at one point but that’s the extent of the wrestling involved.

There isn’t much to the plot and I’ll spare the major spoilers in case you want to see this. There’s only a handful of decent jokes, such as Cena suggesting he take up music and Punk being obsessed with ice cream. The only other scenes that gave me a chuckle were Daniel Bryan and John Cena doing the Bugs Bunny/Daffy Duck YES/NO bit (WWE meets Looney Tunes could have some serious potential) and Bam Bam being stronger than Henry.

The characters look really off for the most part, but at least it’s consistent. Wilma’s head is MASSIVE and it’s really distracting. As for the WWE people, Cena looked fine, Vince wasn’t wearing a suit and looks way out of place in anything else, Mark Henry looked homeless, and the Bellas look like they did back in 2008. On the other hand though, they pretty much nailed Undertaker’s look perfectly, save for him wearing pink trunks at one point and spending too much time on the tablet.

For the most part, the wrestlers are just kind of there. Cena does a few things (including having his theme song start playing for no apparent reason), Mysteiro could have been anyone, Henry is a standard lackey and the Bellas are run off by Wilma and Betty. The interesting character though is Punk, who has the only running joke (thinking Barney’s pet Hoparoo is a kangaroo. I didn’t say the joke was funny), bullies Barney and seems to be cruel to animals. I don’t think they were going over the top with him as he’s certainly the closest thing they have to a villain, but it was interesting given what’s happened since he left.

As for the Flintstones stuff, it’s pretty standard, uninspired stuff.  These characters could have been on any given cartoon and you wouldn’t notice the difference. Fred wants money, the girls don’t trust the boys because they know they’ll have a scheme, and that’s about the extent of their involvement. It feels like someone said “put the Flintstones in this” and someone who has watched all of two episodes of the show was in charge of them (to be fair though, you can pretty much understand the main Flintstones characters after watching five minutes of any episode). They’re there, but it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.

Overall, this really is just a thing. It’s not really funny, it’s not really good, and it’s basically just there to say WWE and the Flintstones are doing something together. The Scooby-Doo movie had WAY more effort put in and I had about a thousand times more fun watching it. This pretty much just came and went and only got a handful of chuckles out of me. It’s far from horrible as it’s not even 50 minutes long, but unless you’re a big Flintstones fan, there’s no need to watch it. The wrestlers aren’t enough of a factor to draw in WWE fans and you would be better off watching the Scooby-Doo movie instead.

Oh and one more thing: one of the main jokes in the history of the Flintstones is taking someone with a famous name and adding a rock pun. They’re doing a movie with WWE and no one brings up THE ROCK??? That’s the biggest layup joke you could ever make and there’s nothing there? Come on now.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Lucha Underground
Date: February 18, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Matt Striker, Vampiro

The company has changed in a hurry as the major story has gone from Puma and Mundo having individual feuds against Cage to Alberto vs. Texano, which has the potential to be something entertaining. Other than that we might be ready to find out who is Pentagon’s boss, which could be almost anyone. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick recap of last week’s show, including Ryck’s awesome threats to the Crew.

Mil Muertes vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

No Catrina. This is over the debt that Muertes claims Chavo owes him after saving Blue Demon Jr. a few months back. Mil is sent outside but he quickly catches Chavo diving off the apron and drives him back first into the post. A dive takes Mil down again before Chavo takes him back inside to work on the knee. When did Guerrero turn face? He’s certainly wrestling like one here after caving in Sexy Star’s head with a chair. Vampiro: “Yeah this is a good idea. Tick off DEATH.”

Striker continues to be a step behind as he says Chavo seems to be focusing on the left leg. Given that it’s all he’s doing, I wouldn’t think anything SEEMS to be true here. Back up and Muertes punches Chavo in the face, only to be sent right back to the floor. Catrina slowly walks towards the ring as Muertes plants Chavo with an electric chair.

They’re playing up the idea that Mil isn’t himself without Catrina but he’s just naturally strong enough to muscle Chavo around. A backdrop sends Guerrero outside but Mil stops to look at Catrina, who has a rock which distracts him even more. Chavo comes in with a chair to the back for the DQ but Muertes doesn’t even move.

Rating: C. This was better than I was expecting and Muertes continues to be one of the more interesting characters. They’re really doing a good job of making him more of a tweener and Catrina makes things interesting as well. Granted she also makes them better looking but that could be because we can actually see her face.

Muertes gives Chavo a flatliner on the chair but Catrina won’t give Chavo the lick. Striker: “Defiance from the leather laden licker!” Just…..go away Striker. Muertes grabs her by the hair and then the throat but Fenix comes in to make the save. Catrina kisses Fenix and leaves with him as Striker continues to make the commentary more complicated than it should be.

Cueto praises the Crew for their actions and puts them in the main event tonight. If they want to stay there though, they need to prove that they can be violent like they were to Big Ryck all the time. Their opponents tonight: Pimpinela Escarlata, Mascarita Sagrada and Sexy Star in an anything goes six person tag. Cueto wants all three of them gone.

Son of Havoc and Ivelisse are in the ring and Ivelisse yells at him for losing all the time, meaning she’ll be fighting Angelico instead of Havoc.

Ivelisse vs. Angelico

Angelico checks some kicks to start but the camera jumps to Son of Havoc. So you would rather see a mask than a good looking woman? Good to know. A forearm is easily blocked and Angelico pins down both of her arms. He dips her back, much to Havoc’s annoyance, before allowing Ivelisse to kick him in the chest. Ivelisse goes to the middle rope and kicks Angelico in the face, finally ticking him off. Angelico just throws her into the air for a crash, prompting some breast implant jokes from Striker. Havoc finally kicks Angelico in the head, allowing Ivelisse to roll him up for a fast pin.

Post match Angelico hits on Ivelisse and shoves Havoc to the floor.

We get a sitdown interview with Texano, where he (in Spanish), talks about dominating AAA for two years (thankfully complete with clips) and is here to dominate Alberto. Vampiro doesn’t get a handshake and Texano looks like a star.

Texano vs. Super Fly

Texano speeds around the ring and catches Super Fly in the corner for some chops. A Rough Ryder gets two for Texano and an AA into a backbreaker on the knee, straight into a neckbreaker for the pin. Total “I’m here and awesome” squash.

Cue Alberto for the brawl and this time it’s Texano getting whipped with the bullrope. Referees quickly break it up but Striker suggests that the AAA World Title could be defending in Lucha Underground. That would indeed be a coup.

Cage comes into Cueto’s office and demands to be named Lucha Underground Champion. Instead he gets Puma in a non-title match next week. He also wants a good looking title belt when he wins it. Chavo Guerrero comes in and quits, but is told the doors are always open. Cueto really doesn’t seem to care, but says the gods aren’t going to be pleased.

The mystery woman finds whatever she’s looking for and says as a child, she wanted to kill it with her bare hands. Ok then.

The Crew vs. Pimpinela Escarlata/Mascarita Sagrada/Sexy Star

Anything goes. It’s a brawl to start with the Crew of course dominating and Escarlata starting against Castro. Some kendo stick shots have Pimpinela in early trouble and STOP CALLING HIM PIMPY! That sounds so stupid every time and doesn’t make me hate this character any less. Cisco kicks Escarlata out to the floor and nails Sagrada with a boot to the face.

Sagrada comes back with a top rope hurricanrana to take over before hitting a big dive to the floor. That just earns him another kick to the face before Castro sends him into the apron. Off to Castro vs. Star with the blonde taking a kick to the back of the head. Apparently Escarlata has been taken to the back, leaving Sagrada to get triple teamed. A curb stomp (not the running kind) onto a chair knocks the mini out cold and he’s taken out as well.

Since this is wrestling, Star is easily able to fight all of them off, including a low blow to Cisco. A tornado DDT to the floor plants Bael but Castro finally catches her with a running boot to the face. Star does the same to him before mostly botching a swinging fisherman’s neckbreaker. Cisco is back in and slams her down, only to get crotched on the top rope.

Her top rope hurricanrana eventually gets two but all three members of the Crew get back in for some destruction. Cue an eye patched Big Ryck though and things get serious in a hurry. Of course it’s just a distraction though, allowing Star to roll up Bael (with her feet under his shoulders) for the pin.

Rating: D. Blech. This was a big waste of time with the Crew getting beaten up WAY more than they should have and then losing on a fluke at the end. All three guys are still completely interchangeable and I was still having issues figuring out which one was which. Sexy Star deserves better than this and Escarlata still gets annoying in a hurry every time he’s out there.

Overall Rating: D+. They went with the B crew here and it really didn’t work for them. It was almost all about midcard stuff and that doesn’t make for a good show in this company. They have the kind of stars that can put on a good effort, but I need more Texano vs. Alberto and a lot less freakshow tag. This was a misstep for them, but the fact that it wasn’t their top lineup takes away a lot of the sting. We’ll call this one an aberration and move on.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Lucha Underground
Date: February 11, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

We’re in a new era for Lucha Underground as Alberto El Patron (Del Rio) debuted to close out last week’s show. I know Mundo is a fairly big name still, but Del Rio was World Champion in WWE just a few years back. At the end of the day, Del Rio is a far bigger star than Mundo and one of the biggest stars of recent years, meaning this company has by far its biggest signing. Let’s get to it.

Alberto is in Cueto’s office to start with the boss (as in the boss, not El Patron) admiring Alberto’s style. El Patron is willing to work here but there’s something he needs to get off his chest first. He doesn’t actually ask anything but says the next time he’s in this office, it will be for blood.

El Patron will have an open mic later tonight.

Fenix vs. Argenis

The fans are entirely behind Fenix but Argenis throws him into the air for what looked like a low blow. It’s nice to have them establish who the heel is right off the bat. A big dive through the ropes takes Fenix down again as Striker gives us a brief history of AAA. Fenix rises up and runs inside for that middle rope flip dive of his. Back in and Argenis superkicks him out of the air before planting him with something like a flapjack for two. A middle rope dropkick puts Argenis down but there’s no cover.

Instead Catrina comes out as Fenix hits something like Roman Reigns’ apron kick. Argenis shrugs it off and hits a missile dropkick and standing moonsault for two of his own. They head outside for a corkscrew plancha from Fenix, which Striker thinks turned Catrina on. Vampiro: “I know I’m turned on.” Back in again and Fenix crotches himself on a charge, setting up a powerbomb for two. The fans chant Lucha Fenix (awesome name actually. Ok so maybe it’s LUCHA LIBRE but mine sounds better) as he reverses a tombstone into a fire driver (sitout tombstone) for the pin.

Rating: C. If you can accept that there will be less selling here than in an air conditioning store at the North Pole, you should be able to have some fun with these matches. Fenix is a fun guy to watch and Argenis is firmly in that second level of guys around here who can show up and have a decent match with almost no chance of winning. Seeing Catrina is never a bad thing either.

Catrina crawls inside and gets on top of Argenis, like she does to Muertes’ fallen opponents.

After a break, Catrina is in the back, talking to Muertes about how the power of 1000 deaths was too much for him. He lifts her up by the throat and says he needed nothing. Muertes storms off and runs into Chavo Guerrero. Chavo’s debt is due next week.

Big Ryck prays about killing the Crenshaw Crew, saying God won’t want to stop him after what they put him through. They were three Judases and their blood will be on his hands when he goes Old Testament on them. This was AWESOME and by far the best thing he’s ever done.

House band.

Son of Havoc vs. Johnny Mundo

I still want to know who Havoc is. Not the guy under the mask, but the father of the guy we’re watching. I wonder if he’s any relation to Halloween. He dedicates the upcoming win to Ivelisse, pretty much guaranteeing his loss. The fans are actually split here and Mundo takes over with a nice leg sweep, drawing the required Karate Kid line. Havoc slows things down before hitting a handspring elbow in the corner, only to miss a charge and fall to the floor. Johnny is right there waiting with a dive and the fans fire up again.

Ivelisse saves Havoc from being rammed into the post. Striker: “Everyone knows, happy life, happy life.” No that’s not a typo. Back in and Havoc misses another dive, possibly banging up his knee. Ivelisse trips Mundo up again though and Havoc takes over for the third time in less than three minutes. A backsplash gets two and it’s off to a bow and arrow hold.

Back up and Havoc gets pulled out of the corner, only to backflip onto his feet and hammer away at Mundo. Johnny nails him in the face to take over again as the fans think this is awesome. Given that they chant this every match, the effect is a bit weaker than they’re hoping for.

The End of the World has to be aborted and Havoc nails a springboard double stomp to the back, followed by a standing moonsault for two. Havoc hits a nice bicycle kick and a standing shooting start gets another two count. Mundo pops back up though and kicks Havoc on the top but can’t hook a top rope hurricanrana. Havoc takes WAY too long setting something up and his shooting star hits knees. The End of the World gives Mundo the pin.

Rating: B-. This was the same idea as the first match but with some selling thrown in for good measure. It also helps that Mundo is better in the ring and we had Ivelisse freaking out at ringside. Havoc getting closer and closer every time was a nice story and it made for a good match the whole way through.

Cuerno hits the ring to lay out Mundo.

Ricky Mandell vs. Pentagon Jr.

Vampiro thinks it’s Rick Martel. I’m digging this evil Pentagon character but I don’t see why he needs a mentor character to make it work. A backbreaker drops Mandell to start and some chops set up a double stomps for no cover. Ricky scores with a headscissors but spins into a dropkick to the chest. Now it’s time for the arm but first, Pentagon throws him up in a torture rack and drive Ricky stomach first into the buckle. The armbar makes Ricky tap and Pentagon snaps another arm.

Rating: D+. Total squash here but I’m still getting into this guy. He can break arms of low level guys for weeks until they give him a major story. I’m still curious about who this master is but it could range from brilliant to horrible and I can’t imagine anything in between. Nice squash here as we’re still early in this story.

Here’s Alberto, who is announced as the AAA World Champion for the first time on this show. He gets a HUGE reaction and goes into the crowd to be with the fans. That’s quite the moment and a great way to have him debut. Alberto doesn’t have to impress anyone because these people are all his family.

We get the brief version of his family history before he talks about being an icon to the Mexican people in the United States. Then the WWE stabbed him in the back so he’s here to work where everyone is equal. He promises to get the job done but El Texano, the man Alberto beat for the AAA Title, runs in and beats him down with the bullrope. I’ve liked what I’ve seen from Texano so far so this could be a good thing. Alberto is laid out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a very important show for the company and a big step forward. They’re spent several months laying an awesome groundwork for the company, but they need some star power to bring in the viewers. Mundo is the biggest star in the promotion, but he was an Intercontinental Champion about five years ago. Alberto was WWE Champion less than two years ago and a much bigger star overall. Bringing him aboard makes Lucha Underground look more legitimate and the fans might be more willing to check it out now.

The rest of the show was its usual goodness with some exciting (though not necessarily high quality) wrestling and solid storyline development. I’m really hoping the Alberto move helps them out as they could use some more traction to guarantee the survival of the promotion. Good show here but it’s more important than high quality.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Triplemania 22
Date: August 17, 2014
Location: Arena Ciudad de Mexico, Mexico City, Mexico
Attendance: 21,000
Commentators: Hugo Savinovich, Vampiro

Well I recently butchered a Japanese show so why not a Mexican show too? I’ve seen a few shows from AAA before and I’ve liked it so far, but that might be because I can understand a bit of Spanish so I’m not completely lost. I’m really not sure what’s going on here but a good wrestling show should be able to tell stories without being able to understand every single thing. Let’s get to it.

HOKEY SMOKE THERE’S ENGLISH COMMENTARY! Oh I feel a lot better all of a sudden.

The ring announcer welcomes us to the show. I think he says the show is being broadcast in the US as well as Mexico. One more note: AAA uses the six sided ring ala TNA.

Opening video, which is just shots of a lot of the roster. There’s a good chance I’ll know a lot of these people from Lucha Underground.

With music from Rocky Balboa vs. Ivan Drago from Rocky IV playing in the background (I already like this show), an SUV pulls up. Out walks Mexican legend Dos Caras (two faces) and his son, Alberto Del Rio (Alberto El Patron here). This isn’t really a surprise as Alberto was in the montage of faces in the opening video.

The father and son come to the ring with Hugo introducing Alberto and listing off all of his WWE accomplishments. Alberto talks about returning home (with a name graphic for Sexy Star) and belonging to Mexico. Seven years ago he went to the United States to pursue a dream but now he has been humbled by God. He claims racism in WWE and says it doesn’t matter if you have money or not. Dos Caras taught him how to be a man and nothing can ever take away his pride. He’s so proud to be Mexican.

Cue Konnan and Los Perros Del Mal (heel stable, coming out to Eye of the Tiger, making them awesome) with Konnan running down Mexico and Alberto in particular. Perro Aguayo Jr. makes fun of WWE catchphrases and my goodness they need to turn up the commentary volume as it’s being badly drowned out. He calls Dos Caras an old man and shoves him down so the brawl is on. The Perros being chased off with ease as Vampiro brings up an interesting point: Alberto can’t officially wrestle for 90 days. Alberto challenges Aguayo to a fight and says Perro Sr. should have raised his son better. The surprises belong to Alberto.

Aero Star/Jennifer Blake/Mascarita Sagrada/Pimpinela Escarlata vs. Mamba/Mini Abismo Negro/Sexy Star/Super Fly

The idea here is you have a masked man, a mini, an exotico (transvestite) and female wrestler with the idea being a strange combination tag match. This is the definition of a cultural difference but the matches can be fun. Star and Fly used to be teammates but have recently split. Sexy Star is half of the Mixed Tag Team Champions but the commentators call it the Women’s Title. Mamba recently beat Escarlata in a hair vs. hair match so there are even more stories going on.

The camera stays on a wide shot so it’s kind of hard to tell what’s going on. Super Fly accidentally kicks Sexy Star to the floor, allowing Aero to get a quick rollup for two. Fly is sent to the floor and the camera completely misses the dive. Off to the girls with Sexy taking Blake down by the hair but getting armdragged out of the corner and down to the floor. Negro, who is the mini but is taller than the top rope, gets caught in a spinning DDT from Blake, followed by a running seated senton from the apron to take Sexy down.

Off to the exoticos with Escarlata rolling around and walking the top rope into an armdrag to Mamba and a headscissors to Fly at the same time. The minis come in and Vampiro has to explain that usually there isn’t this big of a height differential. Sagrada climbs onto Negro’s shoulders and then the top of his head into a hurricanrana. Aero backdrops Fly to the floor and Sexy Germans Blake for no count. Blake gets two off something like a TKO but I can barely see what’s going on because of the stupid wide shot. Everything breaks down and the exoticos stop for some “comedy” with Escarlata getting two off a sunset flip.

Sexy and Blake trade rollups for two each before Aero hits a top rope Falling Star to the floor to take out Fly. Negro blocks a kiss from Escarlata so Pimpinela dives on…..someone the camera misses. The minis go at it again with Sagrada hitting a big dive onto Negro but Fly misses his dive a few seconds later. Blake dives over the top onto Super Fly, followed by a corkscrew plancha from Sexy. The announcers have issues with the sound and Escarlata finally gets to kiss Negro. Sagrada throws Negro in AJ Lee’s Black Widow for the submission.

Rating: C. Well that…..happened. I remember hearing Sean Waltman say there’s no psychology in lucha matches and that’s very clear here. This was all over the place with no particular rhyme or reason for anything that was going on. They were just doing random spots to each other and if they made sense then great but it didn’t really matter either way. I did however find Escarlata a lot easier to sit through here than in Lucha Underground, though that might have something to do with not having to listen to Striker call him Pimpy every ten seconds.

The announcers get the sound back and Hugo makes me laugh by asking why things always happen to him around tables.

Sexy Star dances post match.

World Cruiserweight Title: El Hijo del Fantasma vs. Daga vs. Fenix vs. Angelico vs. Australian Suicide vs. Bengala vs. Drago vs. Jack Evans vs. Joe Lider vs. Pentagon Jr.

This is a ten way elimination match (oh joy) to unify Daga’s Cruiserweight Title with Fenix’s Fusion Title. You may know Hijo del Fantasma as King Cuerno, as well as a few other names from Lucha Underground. I’ll do my best to keep track of these guys but I make no promises whatsoever. From what I can tell, neither title ever changed hands in a singles match. That must be a cultural thing because it’s rather insane otherwise. Pentagon Jr. comes in as Sexy Star’s partner in the World Mixed Tag Team Champions while Evans and Angelico are the World Tag Team Champions. Fenix has a posse with him.

Thankfully there are only two people in the ring at once and the other eight stay on the floor until someone is sent outside. One last note: Ricochet (Prince Puma) was supposed to be in this match but is being replaced by Drago due to some flight issues. Bengala quickly sends Pentagon outside and follows him out with a huge moonsault, which impresses Vampiro greatly. Fantasma runs over Evans with a clothesline and Angelico comes in to help. Pentagon and I think Suicide double team Jack before Lider comes in, only to get knocked to the floor, setting up a HUGE corkscrew plancha from Drago to take down all ten guys.

Lider rolls Bengala up for two back inside but Bengala grabs a rollup of his own with a nice cradle for the first elimination. Pentagon powerbombs Suicide as Savinovich has no idea who all is in there. A big spinning DDT plants Pentagon before Drago runs the ropes to hurricanrana Fenix. That’s fine with Fantasma though as he gets his knees up to block Suicide’s Shooting Star. This is going so fast that you can really only call spots because there’s no story or flow to the match to speak of. Pentagon hits a running package piledriver (looked sick) to eliminate Suicide and get us down to eight.

Drago comes in and flips all around Pentagon but gets knocked to the floor. Evans backflips to avoid a clothesline from Pentagon and hits a kind of Pele kick, only to have Daga kick him down as well. Of course Jack isn’t interested in selling and loads up a 450 but has to bail out, setting up another package piledriver from Pentagon. Daga adds a suplex into a backbreaker for a double pin, leaving seven guys in the running.

It’s off to Bengala and Fenix to trade running kicks in the corner. That bores them so they try exchanging tombstone attempts until Bengala is dropped HARD on his head for an elimination. Doctors come out to check on Bengala as Fenix is backdropped into the air but turns around into a sweet hurricanrana. The fans, as they have been all night, are mostly uninterested. Either that or they’re very badly mic’d as there haven’t been many substantial pops over an hour into the show.

Fenix dives through the ropes into another hurricanrana on Pentagon but Fantasma jumps him from behind. A whip sends Fenix into a powerbomb into a backbreaker on the ramp, which doesn’t make a ton of difference here. Daga hits a suicide dive to take out Fantasma for a big crash. Well in theory it was a big crash as the camera missed it again. I can live with that a bit more in a major free for all like this, especially once it gets on the floor.

Fenix pops right back up and even Vampiro is saying he should still be down. A HUGE top rope hurricanrana and standing moonsault are enough to eliminate Pentagon, leaving us with Fenix, Daga, Angelico and Fantasma. Bengala is just being taken out. Angelico pounds on Daga in the corner as Fantasma goes outside, leaving no one for Fenix to handspring elbow. Angelico joins him on the floor, allowing Fenix to run from one corner to another for a huge double turn corkscrew dive. Daga hits a Canadian Destroyer and discus lariat to Fenix, setting up a rear naked choke for the submission.

Down to three now as Daga tornado DDT’s Angelico into a guillotine choke but Angelico powers up to his feet for the break. Angelico kind of break dances into a kick to the head to stagger Daga, setting up a running Razor’s Edge into the buckle. More doctors are out to check on Fantasma as Angelico gets the pin to put us down to one on one. Fantasma pops up and dropkicks Angelico to the floor for a big suicide dive. Vampiro: “He knocked that South African all the way back to Japan!”

Both guys crawl back in at the 19 count and we actually have a breather. Fantasma’s top rope sunset bomb is countered and Angelico gets two off another running Razor’s Edge into the corner. He loads up another from the middle rope but Fantasma slips off to escape a bad case of death. They chop it out on the ropes with Fantasma getting the better of it, setting up what was supposed to be a reverse hurricanrana but winds up just being Angelico taking a back bump. A fireman’s carry into a tombstone (called a flying inverted neckbreaker into a brainbuster by Hugo) is enough to give Fantasma the title.

Rating: D+. The high flying was fun here at times but the ridiculous amount of botches and complete lack of flow drove me crazy. They were all over the place and I get the idea behind a wild fight like this, but would a little bit of order have killed them? It doesn’t help that I have absolutely no idea if any of these guys are faces or heels as they all wrestle about the same style. Total mess but some fun high spots helped it a lot.

Commissioner Fantasma presents his son with the new green title belt post match. Vampiro implies that Hijo is a heel for the first indication of alignment all night.

We get the announcements for the Hall of Fame, which I don’t think are announced prior to the show. This year’s class include El Brazo and someone to be named later. Vampiro tells a nice story about Brazo’s family taking care of him when he showed up in Mexico when he was just 19 years old. AAA boss Joaquin Roldan presents the Brazo family with a plaque for the induction.

Video on Taya vs. Faby Apache for the Reina de Reinas (Queen of Queens, meaning the Women’s) Title. There’s a cool visual here with a chess board showing only two queens slowly moving closer to each other.

Reina de Reinas: Taya vs. Faby Apache

Apache is defending and has Drago in her corner while Taya has Sexy Star and some of Los Perros Del Mal. Referee Hijo de Tirantes (Son of Suspenders. Seriously) gets his own introduction, complete with flexing. Feeling out process to start with Faby easily taking the challenger down and cranking on the legs. It turns into a battle of hair pulling, which Vampiro excuses because it’s Mexico. A running double knee to the face has Apache in trouble early and we hit one of the only chinlocks of the night.

Back up and Faby superkicks a charging Taya to send her out to the floor. Tirantes, a known heel referee, won’t let Faby follow Taya out. Faby goes after her anyway but eats a fall away slam back inside. A fisherman’s suplex, with Taya being nice enough to lift her leg to be grabbed, gets two for Faby. Taya looks to have a busted nose as she gets two of her own off a facebuster. The champ grabs an Orton DDT but the referee stops the count at two to check on the injured nose. Works well enough I guess.

Taya is in the ropes so Faby charges, only to get caught in a kind of guillotine choke. The referee has no interest in breaking up the hold despite it being in the ropes so Faby escapes and puts on a rolling armbar instead. That goes nowhere so it’s off to a heel hook instead but Tirantes grabs Faby’s hair to break up the hold. Commissioner Fantasma is nowhere in sight. A superplex gets two for Faby as the referee just stops counting at two. It’s better than Nick Patrick’s overblown shoulder spasms at least.

That earns him a missile dropkick and draws in Sexy Star, only to have Faby drop her longtime rival with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Cue a second referee and Fantasma (senior) for some actual law and order. Taya misses a moonsault (on a broken nose remember) and gets kicked in the face for two. Taya comes back with a northern lights suplex and a double stomp for the pin and the title out of nowhere.

Rating: C. After all of the insane messes I sat through in the first two matches, this insanity was kind of a necessary step down. I can get behind a good crooked heel referee idea and that’s what we got here. Not a great or even a really good match but this is the best story I’ve seen all night.

Vampiro talks about all the hard work Taya has put in to get here, which really doesn’t jive with the whole crooked referee story or the fact that Taya was clearly the heel here. Then again, neither does Taya winning with a clean wrestling move after all the cheating but I’ll take what I can get.

The other inductee into the Hall of Fame is Rayo de Jalisco (Lightning from Jalisco) but Los Perros come out to jump Rayo Jr. Blue Demon Jr. comes out to help break it up and a big brawl breaks out.

A steel cage is lowered as the Star Wars theme plays. I’m digging this company’s music selections.

Video on the upcoming six way cage match where the last man in will either have his head shaved or lose his mask.

El Mesias vs. La Parka vs. Electroshock vs. Chessman vs. Averno vs. Blue Demon Jr.

This is in a cage and the last man in loses his mask or hair. Mesias is subbing for Jeff Jarrett, who is also missing due to travel issues. Averno, Mesias, Electroshock (I think at least as he wears a half mask) and Chessman (the reigning Latin American Champion) can have their heads shaved and the other two can lose their masks. Mesias is better known as Mil Muertes in Lucha Underground at the moment.

Averno and Chessman jump Mesias before everyone else make it to the ring and Electroshock gets the same treatment. Chessman climbs to the top of the cage and drops a leg to drive someone through a table. None of this is SHOWN OF COURSE because we needed to see Blue Demon high fiving fans. This company is making my head hurt. While all this is going on, La Parka has his admittedly awesome entrance to Thriller.

So everyone is in now and it’s La Parka getting the first advantage that we can actually see. Mesias is already bleeding and everyone not named Electroshock (or La Parka of course) jump La Parka. That’s fine with La Parka who gets to the top of the cage (having lost a boot somewhere in there) and is out less than two minutes after getting in. Electroshock is busted as well as the announcers finally explain the idea. Granted they’re not sure if Electroshock’s hair or mask is on the line either.

Averno tells Chessman to load up Mesias for a double team move but runs up the cage to make the second escape. We’re already down to four and Demon shrugs off all three other guys and makes it out. They’re flying through this match. Mesias superplexes Chessman down but Chessman pops up and grabs a guitar. Averno is back though and throws powder at Electroshock, allowing Chessman to nail him with the guitar. A spear from Mesias drops Chessman but he quickly pulls Mesias down and escapes.

So it’s Mesias vs. Electroshock as the final pairing and they stare each other down. Mesias’ tombstone doesn’t work an Electroshock nails an RKO, only to have Mesias make a quick save. Mesias sends him shoulder first into the cage but can’t escape either as Electroshock pulls him down. Vampiro: “What a bump.” An Alabama Slam plants Mesias and draws about the 1000^th OH MY GOD of the night from Vampiro. They chop it out on the top rope until Mesias hits something like a super Backstabber, allowing him to escape for the win.

Rating: D. Well let’s see. Or don’t see actually, which is the case with the big spot through the table. Other than that, the majority of the match was spent on quick escapes and people fighting with no reasons given. That’s one of the major issues of the night: I have no idea why these people are fighting most of the time. English commentary is nice, but these guys are REALLY bad at giving us backstories.

Electroshock has his head shaved. Mesias gets back in and a brawl breaks out.

Now we have clowns bringing out ice cream. Vampiro is annoyed that he doesn’t get one. I have no idea what the point of this was. Apparently these two are part of the Psycho Circus, which we’ll get to now.

Video on Psycho Clown vs. Texano Jr. which is part of a long feud between Texano and the Clown. Psycho had a few World Title shots at Texano earlier in the year but kept getting screwed out of the belt. Thank you Wikipedia, as the announcers just say it’s a generational battle.

El Texano Jr. vs. Psycho Clown

This is mask vs. hair and Texano’s World Title isn’t on the line. He’s also taken the hair of. Psycho’s brother and father so there’s a long story here. Hijo de Fantasma is in Texano’s corner and might slip him a foreign object. It’s a brawl to start as the Spanish commentary is bleeding in. Psycho sidesteps Texano to send him outside, setting up a nice suicide dive. It’s Texano up first though and a chair to the ribs slows the Clown down.

Back in and Texano goes after the mask before just blasting Psycho in the head with a chair twice in a row. Fantasma hands Texano a spike of some kind and we’ve got a LOT of blood early on. Back in and we get more stabbing as Vampiro talks about hatred between these two but, as usual, doesn’t explain WHY they hate each other aside from they apparently have for a good while. Psycho fights up but gets tripped by Fantasma as the referee is being very lenient.

Texano bites at the cut on the forehead and rips away with the spike even more. Mini Clown was dropped somewhere in there as Psycho kicks out of a rollup with feet on the ropes. Now it’s off to the knee but Texano opts for the bullrope. I can’t even get away from that thing in another country. Cue Monster Clown (over 400lbs) with a towel and a few guys in suits. Another referee comes down and I guess the first one was corrupt? If he was he didn’t seem to be very good at it.

Psycho gets a quick rollup for two but Texano stomps him right back down. The Clown is getting fired up though and scores with a powerslam for two followed by a hurricanrana for the same. Texano gets thrown to the floor (guess how much we saw of it) and taken down by another suicide dive. This time it’s Texano getting chaired in the head to show a bad cut of his own. Something like Kevin Owens’ Cannonball over the ropes connects but Texano comes back with chair shots of his own in the ring.

Fantasma helps as well and loads up a table but Psycho gets a breather with right hands to the ribs. A HUGE superbomb through the table gets two on Texano and the fans are actually stunned. Commissioner Papa Fantasma FINALLY comes out and ejects his son before Texano rolls through a high cross body for two. A wicked Batista Bomb gets two for the champ but Psycho throws him to the floor and dives over the referee to take Texano down in a huge crash. Vampiro looks STUNNED in a great visual.

Since selling isn’t a thing around here, Texano pops up and hits a flip dive of his own (better one too) to put the Clown down one more time. Back in and Texano hooks a chinlock with two knees in the spine….before just letting go. Psycho grabs White Noise for two and it’s time for another table. As per Wrestling Law, Texano is able to suplex Psycho through the table because the Clown introduced it. Texano gets crotched on top and taken down with something like a running Codebreaker for two.

A superplex drops the Clown as the stamina (and lack of selling) here is remarkable. Back up again and Texano misses a bullrope shot and gets caught in a Canadian Destroyer (Vampiro: “I have never seen this before!” Hugo: “A flipping neckbreaker!”) for a very close two. Time for yet another table and Texano puts him up on top, but gets caught in a SUPER CANADIAN DESTROYER THROUGH THE TABLE to finally give Psycho Clown the pin.

Rating: B. Well that was……REALLY long. They easily could have cut out about five to ten minutes from this and made this feel a lot tighter. I got the idea behind the match with the Clown doing whatever he could to get revenge and finally beat Texano by taking him to a place he’s never had to go before. It’s good stuff and by far the best match of the show, but it could have been a classic brawl if you cut out some of the filler, which felt like they were just extending the match more than once.

The Clown family comes into the ring to celebrate as Texano is shaved, despite trying to run off. The bloody guys FINALLY shake hands after staring at each other for the better part of ever.

We get a quick video showing the four people in the main event: a fourway elimination match for the Copa Triplemania XXII. From what I can tell the Cup has been a thing before, but my goodness this doesn’t feel like much of a main event.

Copa Triplemania XXII: Cibernetico vs. Dr. Wagner Jr. vs. El Hijo de Perro Aguayo vs. Myzteziz

Elimination rules. Myzteziz is the original Sin Cara and Wagner is returning after some issues with the organization. He also has his son, El Hijo de Dr. Wagner in his corner. Apparently the Cup hasn’t been defended in thirteen years. Oh yeah this is a lame out. Everyone goes after Wagner to start with Perro sending him into the crowd for a beating with a cup. Back inside, Myzteziz, who now has his back and chest covered in tattoos, gets chopped into the corner. Perro knocks Wagner up the ramp with a chair and Cibernetico joins in.

Everyone gets back inside and Perro just throws the chair at Wagner’s back. He bites the Dr.’s shoulder before switching over to Myzteziz but can’t get the mask off. Instead Perro ties him in the Tree of Woe as Cibernetico does the same to Wagner. That goes nowhere so Aguayo blasts Myzteziz in the face with a chair. Wagner has a huge hole in his shoulder and Vampiro says you can see the bone coming out of the skin.

Myzteziz, who is busted wide open, finally does something by dropkicking Cibernetico down and hurricanranaing Perro out to the floor. A 619 drops Aguayo but the Dr. gets back in and kicks at the other masked man. Myzteziz kicks him in the bad arm as the fans rally behind Wagner. They head outside with Dr. hitting a cannonball off the apron, followed by a catapult to send Myzteziz into the post. Back in and Cibernetico misses a charge in the corner and gets caught in a Samoan drop. Wagner’s arm is just GONE and it’s clear that he needs to get out of there.

Wagner gets back up and rips at Myzteziz’s mask to the point that you can see both eyes. Myzteziz goes for the Dr.’s mask in turn as Vampiro keeps saying something looks wrong with Cibernetico. The very bloody Myzteziz dives into a cutter to give Wagner two but he gets caught in La Mistica (Fujiwara Armbar). That brings Perro back in to break it up though and everyone takes shots at Wagner. It’s almost uncomfortable how much they’re focusing on him. Myzteziz tries an Asai moonsault onto Perro but hits raised boots.

Back inside and Wagner’s son breaks up a chokeslam, only to eat one of his own from Cibernetico. Wagner goes after the knee but takes a chokeslam for the elimination and a big reaction. That makes Cibernetico smile for the first time and he looks like a completely different person. There’s a chokeslam to Myzteziz for no cover but the second attempt is countered into La Mistica for an almost immediate tap. It’s down to Myzteziz vs. Perro and Aguayo has to break up an early Mistica attempt. The referee breaks up a chair shot from Perro but a quick low blow gives Aquayo the Cup.

Rating: D. The only reason this is so high is the artery that Myzteziz (so glad I don’t have to type that again) tapped into during the match. This felt like a gang beating on Wagner and a lot more real than it should have been. The match wasn’t even entertaining and felt like a major downfall after the previous war. It’s a perfect way to cap off such a messy show.

Perro celebrates but here’s Alberto again. He rants about Perro ruining the evening for so many legends, but Aguayo will respect El Patron. Alberto talks about wanting to fight no matter what no compete clauses he has. Perro jumps him but gets caught in the cross armbreaker, which still should be called Destiny. Los Perros run in for the save but Alberto is the biggest hero that has ever heroed in the history of Mexico.

Not shown on the PPV, but Rey Mysterio showed up in a video post show, saying he was ready for his great exit. This has yet to happen about six months later.

Overall Rating: D-. Yeah the Psycho Clown match was really good, but hokey freaking smokes this was a borderline disaster. There were six matches on this show with a ridiculous THIRTY TWO wrestlers in the ring, not counting run-ins and Alberto. There is so much packed into this show, but somehow it feels like nothing happened. Let’s see. Alberto debuted, some cruiserweight titles were unified, some guys got their heads shaved and a heel wins a competition that hasn’t been around in thirteen years. What in the world was this show supposed to be other than an ad for Alberto?

I’ve liked the AAA that I’ve seen before but this was such a mess and a disaster that it’s almost impossible to get much out of it. Yeah Del Rio looked good, but shouldn’t Psycho Clown get a shot now? In theory the hair means more than the title, but it feels really anti-climactic. This show needed to slow down and breathe for a LONG time (and it’s not like they didn’t have time with nearly four hours) instead of just pouring in another multi-man match.

On top of that, the commentary was almost more of a burden than a good thing. I’ve never been a fan of Savinovich’s commentary and somehow Vampiro was the better guy out there tonight. I have no idea what the stories were for most of these matches and it’s really annoying having to try to figure it out based on the few clues you can pick up. I really didn’t care for this show and it really hurt what I thought of the company as a whole.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Hulk Hogan and Saturday Night Live Edition.So here’s something you may not know about me: my uncle is a stand up comedian, and he’s actually a pretty good one.  His name is Rich Hall (You Europeans may know him better as Otis Lee Crenshaw, a character he often plays) and he was good enough to win an Emmy Award for writing on the David Letterman Show and appeared as a cast member on Saturday Night Live for a season back in the mid 1980s.

Well as you may know, Saturday Night Live’s 40th Anniversary is coming up and VH1 Classic has been airing a marathon of almost every episode of the series (it’s almost over now).  On a whim, I searched through my cable box for anything my uncle was in and recorded his episodes from the marathon.  The last one had some special guest stars: Hulk Hogan and Mr. T., from the night before Wrestlemania.  They were in a sketch together with my uncle and it very well may be the most amazing thing I’ve seen since…..eh since the last NXT special but it was still cool to see.