New Japan Wrestle Kingdom IX: Same Old, Same Old

Wrestle Kingdom IX
Date: January 4, 2015
Location: Tokyo Dome, Tokyo, Japan
Attendance: 36,000
Commentators: Matt Striker, Jim Ross

So yet again I’ve been asked to do the biggest New Japan show of the year. I usually can’t stand doing these because I have no idea what’s going on and I really don’t care to know. However, this time the show has English commentary, which could be a solution to a lot of my problems. That being said, Matt Striker is on commentary and I don’t particularly care for him to put it mildly. Let’s get to it.

The pre-show match has Japanese commentary so I apologize for not knowing any stories that I may be missing.

Pre-Show: New Japan Rumble

As far as I can tell, it’s a fifteen man Royal Rumble with pinfall, submission or over the top eliminations and what seem to be one minute intervals. Tiger Mask is in at #1 and Yuji Nagata (remember him from WCW? There’s a good chance you slept through most of his matches) is in at #2. Tiger fires off kicks to start but Nagata bails into the corner. They go to a test of strength followed by a Nagata chinlock until Taichi, who appears to be a rock star and is flanked by lackey bandmates El Desperado and Taka Michinoku, are in all at once at #3, #4 and #5.

The match just stops as the trio gets in, as wrestling matches tend to do in this situation. Tiger Mask takes a microphone to the face and Taichi hits Nagata low for a fast three count from Taka. They can’t throw Tiger Mask over though and Jushin Thunder Liger (again, you might remember him but for much better reasons) is in at #6. The running palm strikes put everyone down and Michinoku is put in the surfboard with a dragon sleeper added for good measure. That always looked awesome.

We must have one minute intervals because Sho Tanaka is in at #7. I’m not sure why but everyone is coming in from the side of the big ramp for a reason that isn’t given. Well maybe it is but I don’t speak Japanese. Taichi is getting beaten up in the corner. Hiro Saito is in at #8 and looks to be about 172 years old. Liger charges right at him but gets caught by a slow motion spinebuster and a backsplash. No eliminations so far.

Another spinebuste and backsplash have Tiger Mask in trouble and everyone except Taichi and company pair off. Yohei Komatsu is in at #9 as Saito is getting double teamed. They really have to double team a guy that old and slow? Tanaka puts him in a chinlock as this is just a standard battle royal with no one trying eliminations. As the brawling circles around the ring, the wide shots showing how big the Tokyo Dome is really are impressive. This place is freaking huge.

Captain New Japan, a superhero/mascot character, is in at #10 and the ring is getting way too full. The Captain uppercuts everyone down and seems to be a crowd favorite. Tama Tonga (Haku/Meng’s son) is in at #11 and crawls along the mat ala Goldust, only to easily dump out Captain New Japan. Desperado hits Liger low and they head to the apron, only to have both guys get dropkicked out to the floor.

Yoshi-Hashi is in at #12 and comes out carrying a big stick, which doesn’t make it into the ring. The match slows way down again with a lot of people just standing around the ropes and now even fighting. Saito gets double teamed again as Liger and Taichi are fighting in the aisle. Manabu Nakanashi is in at #13 and takes his sweet time getting to the ring.

The ring is way too full again and Yoshiaki Fujiwara (65 years old and the inventor of the Fujiwara Armbar) is in at #14, limping out to Flight of the Valkyries. He headbutts Tiger Mask a few times and gets in a lockup with Nagata, which seems to be a big deal. A low blow and headbutt have Yuji in trouble and the 66 year old Great Kabuki rounds out the field at #15. The final grouping is Nagata, Tiger Mask, Taichi, Michinoku, Tanaka, Saito, Komatsu, Tonga, Hashi, Nakanashi, Fujiwara and Kabuki. In other words, WAY too many people.

Again, everyone stops to watch Kabuki get in, which takes far too long as he has to disrobe and play with knunchucks. Taichi and Taka go right for him with Taka taking red mist, sending him right into the Fujiwara Armbar for a submission. Everyone piles on Fujiwara for a pin as the field is getting thinned out quickly. Apparently the mist disqualified Kabuki, who probably couldn’t take a bump anyway. Taichi gets sunset flipped and jackknifed pinned by I believe Funaki and Komatsu (I lost track of who everyone was a long time ago) to get us down to eight.

Saito misses a middle rope backsplash and gets gang pinned as well. Are they really that worried about old guys sticking around? I believe Funaki and Komatsu (they’re two guys who look alike and are wearing identical black trunks) dropkick Tiger Mask out but get surrounded by Nakanashi and Nagata. Nakanashi, who looks like a gorilla, suplexes both of them down and racks Tanaka for an elimination. Tonga gets racked as well but Komatsu makes a save, allowing Tonga to small package Nakanashi for a pin. Tonga pays him back with a DDT and pin, leaving us with Hashi, Tonga and Nagata.

Tama tries a charge and gets backflipped to the floor, only to have Nagata wake up and suplex Hashi in half. Hashi comes back with a hard clothesline but Nagata hooks his kneeling armbar into a cross armbreaker, only to have Hashi get into the ropes. Back up and a bridging belly to back suplex gives Nagata the winning pin.

Rating: D+. I know New Japan is supposed to be the greatest promotion in the history of this planet and all others, but they’re not great at battle royals. That being said, this was clearly just a way to get everyone on the show, which has long since been a tradition on these major shows. However, I really don’t like the guys in their 60s being out there. I know it gives the live fans a thrill, but it looks really sad seeing these guys looking like they do and barely able to move.

We get a long, as in like nine minutes long, video recapping all of the matches. I have no idea what’s going on but it looks really cool.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Titles: Time Splitters vs. Young Bucks vs. Forever Hooligans vs. ReDRagon

This would be like Cruiserweight Tag Team Titles. The Time Splitters are Alex Shelley and Kushida, Forever Hooligans are Alex Kozlov and Rocky Romero and ReDRagon, the champions coming in (as well as the ROH Tag Team Champions), are Bobby Fish and Kyle O’Reilly. The Time Splitters are a Back to the Future inspired team, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. The Bucks are Matt and Nick Jackson and they like to use superkicks. One fall to a finish here. Striker’s advise on how to learn more about these teams: use the Google. So why does he get a paycheck for this show again?

Kushida and Fish get things going with Kushida taking him down by the arm. He rides Fish into a nice technical sequence until both guys try dropkicks. For once it’s not a standoff with Kushida hitting another dropkick, allowing Shelley to tag himself in for a knee to the ribs. The Young Bucks (members of the Bullet Club. Expect to hear that name a lot tonight) come in and are easily sent back to the floor.

The Time Splitters stay on offense but Fish sends Kushida into Shelley, knocking Alex off the apron. Kozlov tags himself in for a headscissors on Fish, followed by a double stomp for two. Fish makes a quick tag to kick Kozlov in the back before it’s back to Fish for a running forearm. It’s still weird to hear the crowd go silent to the point where you can hear almost every sound the wrestlers make. The Bucks try to double team Kyle but Nick winds up kicking Max in the face by mistake. Serves them right.

Back in and Nick tells Romero to suck it, only to have Kozlov kick him in the face. Everyone gets in the ring with Romero nailing everyone with clotheslines in the corner as Striker goes on about Black Tiger. Nick knees out of a double suplex attempt but it’s Kushida coming in to knock everyone down. Max gets taken down by a DDT and Shelley drops Romero with a running knee off the apron.

Now it’s O’Reilly diving off the apron at Shelley but eating a superkick for his efforts. Romero trips up Kushida and dives at Shelley, only to have Kozlov dive on both of them. Not to be outdone, Nick kicks the Hooligans down and Max hits a big corkscrew dive onto all of them. It’s the champs’ turn now as Kushida dives on everyone at once and the Time Splitters take over.

Back inside and the Splitters start using a bunch of Motor City Machine Guns moves, including Skull and Bones but with a Kushida moonsault instead of a splash (Outta Time). Kozlov breaks up an elevated Sliced Bread #2 with a tag (why not wait until after Nick was knocked silly?) but the Bucks start busting out the superkicks.

They have to flip out a double Doomsday Device attempt (that looked awesome) and it’s time for a superkick party. Nick loads up Romero for a tombstone and Max springboard flips into….nothing as he just lands behind Romero as he lands with the, I kid you not, Meltzer Driver. See because it’s an insider name. Kushida drops the champs with a double Tajiri Elbow but takes a double superkick for his efforts.

Fish saves his partner from More Bang For Your Buck and some running knees in the corner set up something like the Demolition Decapitator’s second cousin twice removed (a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker into a middle rope knee drop) for two on Shelley. ReDRagon hits a DDT into a wheelbarrow suplex (cool) on Nick and a super falcon’s arrow sends Max flying. Romero saves Kozlov from Chasing the Dragon (brainbuster/kick to the back combo) but Kozlov takes it a few seconds later for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. This was about what I was expecting and as usual with matches like this one, there’s a firm cap on how high I can rate them. The main things holding this back are the length of the match (cut out about a minute or two and it’s a lot better) and how similar some of the guys out there look. I kept losing track of who was in the ring and who I was watching as they look so much alike and you have to see the backs of their trunks to tell them apart. Still though, really fun opener and good stuff.

So far, Striker and Ross have just been glorified background noise. Then again, it helped that I was familiar with everyone in the preious match.

Jeff Jarrett/Bad Luck Fale/Yujiro Takahashi vs. Hiroyoshi Tenzan/Satoshi Kojima/Tomoaki Honma

Jarrett’s team is part of the Bullet Club, Takahashi is a turncoat and Fale (pronounced Fah-lei) is a monster. Tenzan and Kojima are a legendary tag team and Honma used to be a death match wrestler in Big Japan. Surprisingly enough it’s Ross bringing up Tenzan vs. Savage at Starrcade 1995. It’s a brawl to start the Bullet Club in early trouble. A double headbutt has Takahashi in trouble and it’s Kojima….gently tapping his chest in the corner. The idea is that they’re so fast they hurt more but I didn’t buy it with Kobashi and I don’t buy it here.

Fale runs Kojima over in the corner and it’s off to Jarrett for a Jake Roberts short arm clothesline. Some big shots from Fale set up Takahashi for some cocky kicks to the back of the head. Kojima hits a quick Diamond Cutter and makes the tag off to Honma for some clotheslines and chops. He misses a falling headbutt attempt though and walks into a fisherman’s buster for two. Apparently Honma is a guy who never quits but isn’t that bright. There’s always a role for someone like that in wrestling.

Scott D’Amore (remember him?) uses a Karen Jarrett (remember her?) distraction to send in the guitar but Jeff hits Takahashi by mistake before taking a double belly to back suplex. Fale gets clotheslined to the floor and a 3D from Tenzan and Kojima sets up a falling headbutt from Takahashi (which, according to Striker, never hits. See, THAT is why you have English commentary) for the pin.

Rating: C. Totally acceptable six man tag here which didn’t stick around long enough to overstay its welcome. Jarrett is a great addition to any company, because even though he’s 47, he looks almost exactly the same as he did back in 1999 and wrestles a very smooth style. The rest of the match was fine and the kind of match you need to let the crowd breathe a little bit during a major show.

Toru Yano/Naomichi Marufuchi/Mikey Nicholls/Shane Haste vs. Shelton X. Benjamin/Lance Archer/Davey Boy Smith Jr./Takashi Iizuka

This place loves their tag matches. Benjamin’s team is part of Suzukigun, another big heel stable led by Minoru Suzuki. On the other side, everyone but Yano is from Pro Wrestling Noah, where Marufuchi is the GHC (World Heavyweight) Champion. Nicholls and Haste are an Australian tag team known as TMDK (The Mighty Don’t Kneel. Iizuka turned on former partner Yano to set up this match. Got all that? I do, because there’s English commentary (and Wikipedia) for a change.

It’s a brawl to start with the chubby Yano getting jumped by Iizuka. That’s fine with Yano, who calmly grabs Iizuka’s beard to slow him down. Yano rips off a buckle pad (remember that they’re columns instead of individual pads) but gets blasted in the head with it for his efforts. Thankfully Striker mentions that there’s a metal bar inside, even though the whole thing bent like it was made of paper. Off to Shelton for the Dragon Whip before Archer and Smith hit a Hart Attack with Lance playing Bret. Archer misses a charge into the exposed buckle and bounces head first off the buckle.

TMDK comes in to hammer on Archer and Smith (the Killer Elite Squad), including a powerslam to Smith. Back up and Archer gives Haste one of the biggest chokeslams I’ve ever seen but doesn’t cover. Instead it’s off to Iizuka vs. Marufuchi with Marufuchi firing off a quick series of strikes, only to have Shelton run the ropes and superplex him down. Everything breaks down and Iizuka brings in a foreign (maybe it’s domestic in this case) object but Marufuchi stops him with a superkick. TMDK adds a double gorilla press sitout slam, followed by an uppercut knee from Marufuchi to pin the knocked out Iizuka.

Rating: D+. I didn’t care for this one nearly as much, even though it was shorter. The story helped, but this felt much more like setting up something for later on. TMDK was good and looked like a polished team with potential, but Marufuchi felt more like a standard Japanese guy who would get on my nerves after more than just a few minutes. Yano was overweight and that’s about all I have to say about him. Archer and Smith continue to be a team that WWE seemed to miss the boat on, but the last time I said that it resulted in Tensai.

Minoru Suzuki vs. Kazushi Sakuraba

This is treated as a big deal and you can only win by knockout or submission. I really hope this doesn’t turn into an MMA style match. Naturally, Striker immediately starts talking about UFC and MMA which takes away a lot of my hope. Suzuki is the head of the Suzukigun (Suzuki’s Army) stable. Both guys here are over 45 as age isn’t nearly as big of a deal in Japan. Striker and Ross immediately start calling these two the most important/best MMA fighters of all time, which really means nothing to me as this is a wrestling show, but if you can say they’re the same things online, why not in a company as well?

Feeling out process to start and they head to the mat for a fast paced exchange into a standoff. Suzuki gets on his back and kicks at Sakuraba but has to escape a Sharpshooter attempt by rolling into the ropes. They stay in the ropes for the better part of ever, which makes sense given that you can’t lose by DQ. JR won’t shut up about MMA until Suzuki grabs a triangle choke around the top rope.

They tumble out to the floor and start slugging it out on the ramp as Striker finally mentions the wrestling story here: Sakuraba helped Yano after Iizuka turned on him, triggering the feud with Suzuki. Now why did I have to listen to all that MMA talk first? Sakuraba grabs a Kimura on the ramp, which Striker describes as legendary. The referee breaks the hold and sends Sakuraba back to the ring. Striker and Ross talk about the twenty count in this match not two minutes after saying the match can’t end via countout. Well to be fair it’s better than just Japanese I can’t understand.

Back in and Sakuraba fires off a bunch of kicks and Suzuki looks mildly annoyed. He’s back up at eight though so Sakuraba goes back to the kicks. Suzuki slaps him in the face a few times, probably due to bad psychology for not going after Suzuki’s bad arm. Sakuraba hooks a cross armbreaker but Suzuki gets in the ropes. Again that shouldn’t matter but it’s something you have to live with.

Suzuki takes a nine count (why it’s in English is anyone’s guess) and it’s time to no sell! You knew this was coming at some point. Even kicks to the arm have no effect because adrenaline heal potentially broken arms. Suzuki kicks him in the face, setting up a rear naked choke for the referee stoppage.

Rating: D+. Yeah whatever. I’ve never cared for this style of a match and I still can’t stand it here. I watch wrestling to see wrestling, not old guys doing MMA style stuff. I’m sure I just don’t get some cultural thing here and the Japanese fans seemed to like it but I just do not care about stuff like this. JR and Striker loved it though and it’s very annoying hearing them casually talk about wrestling and then get WAY into the MMA style match.

Never Openweight Title: Tomohiro Ishii vs. Togi Makabe

Never is an acronym for “New blood, Evolution, Valiantly, Eternal, Radical” and this is basically a midcard title. Makabe is insane and Ishii is a guy who wrestled forever before finally winning a title last year. Ishii is defending and comes in with a heavily taped shoulder. They go right to the short range forearms that you see in ROH and my head begins to hurt again. Ishii powerslams him down as this is already a hard hitting brawl. Chops and right hands are no sold for a bit until more chops actually put Makabe down.

Makabe says bring it on and the chops have no effect. Ishii sells some right hands and takes the ten weakest punches in the corner that I can ever remember. They slug it out again until Makabe hooks a quick northern lights suplex for two. Back up and it’s the champ’s turn to no sell forearms and Striker says this is the answer to “is pro wrestling real?” The answer to that would be no, because people don’t usually growl at you when you repeatedly hit them in the head.

Ishii powerbombs him down for two but walks into a discus lariat to change control again. A German suplex (Striker calls it a German suplex hold for some reason) gets two for Makabe so he loads up the super German, only to get knocked into a Tree of Woe. Makabe does a pretty awesome looking situp and a top rope Samoan drop (not a fireman’s carry drop Striker) is good for another two. A huge lariat only gets one for Makabe and frustration is starting to set in.

He’s so frustrated that he no sells a German suplex but gets clotheslined for two. They trade more standing clotheslines until Makabe FINALLY goes after the shoulder…..which doesn’t have much effect. A chop and seated clothesline get two for Ishii and a dragon suplex gets the same for Makabe. They trade more forearms and shout at each other in Japanese until Makabe ax handles him in the chest. About the 38th clothesline gets two more for Makabe and a top rope knee drop of all things gives him the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. This is a hard one for me to grade as I completely get the idea behind the match but I can’t stand it. It’s cool to see people beat each other up, but that growling at each other and no selling the strikes drives me up a wall. All I ask is that you at least stagger a bit and act like it had an effect. Otherwise, it looks like a waste of time, especially when the forearms don’t look all that hard. I’ve never been a fan of this style and I don’t think I ever will be. The ending was questionable too as this needed a big spot, and the Ivan Koloff’s old finisher doesn’t quite do it.

Ads for upcoming shows.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title: Kenny Omega vs. Ryusuke Taguchi

This is basically the Cruiserweight Title and Omega, a member of Bullet Club with the Young Bucks in his corner, is challenging. Ross likens Omega to Brian Pillman as he’s a bit off kilter. Taguchi has been feuding with Bullet Club since the team’s debut, when Prince Devitt (Finn Balor, which Striker mispronounces) turned on Taguchi to found the team. They take each other up to the ropes with only Taguchi (called the Funky Weapon) offering a clean break.

They speed things up until Taguchi hits a Rear View to take over but first, a Rude hip swivel. Omega’s hurricanrana attempt is countered into an ankle lock before Omega is quickly sent to the floor. The Bucks offer a distraction and Omega blasts Taguchi in the eyes with cold spray (used to help with injuries after matches). JR: “That’s not too cool.” Striker: “No but it is too sweet.” It should be noted that Bullet Club does the Too Sweet hand sign to make it even better. Omega gets two off a running elbow in the corner. Nick Jackson: “You’re the worst referee in the business.”

Taguchi blocks a suplex attempt but Omega shows off a surprising amount of power by just muscling him up. He walks around instead of covering though and JR gets back into his old form by asking why Omega isn’t covering. Kenny misses a spinwheel kick and Nick trips Taguchi, only to have the champ sidestep a charging Omega, sending him into the Bucks. Taguchi hits a big dive of his own, making him seem more like a standard cruiserweight. Back in and Omega escapes Three Amigos before taking out Taguchi’s knee.

Kenny’s cover gets two and SWEET GOODNESS his eyes are freaky looking. They’re bugging out of his skull before he loads up a buckle bomb, only to have Taguchi hurricanrana him into the buckle for a sweet counter. Back up and Kenny dropkicks him out of the air, followed by a sweet gutwrench sitout powerbomb for another near fall. A faceplant gets the same on Kenny and it’s back to the ankle lock.

Taguchi mocks the Too Sweet sign but Kenny blocks what looked to be a torture rack attempt and hits a hard German suplex. He throws Taguchi onto his shoulders for an electric chair but drops him down into a driver (the One Winged Angel. He’s a Final Fantasy fan?) for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. This took its time but got rolling eventually. Omega certainly deserved the win here as he was blowing Taguchi out of the water for most of the match. The visuals on his face were outstanding and made the match that much better. Really fun match here with Kenny being all confident but just knocking Taguchi silly with all his his high powered offense. I had a good time with this and liked it a lot more than I was expecting to.

Tag Team Titles: Hirooki Goto/Katsuyori Shibata vs. Doc Gallows/Karl Anderson

Anderson and Gallows are defending and part of Bullet Club, meaning they’re accompanied by Tama Tonga and the Bullet Babe (Gallows’ wife, indy wrestler Amber O’Neal). Goto and Shibata beat them to win the World’s Strongest Tag League in 2014. JR compares Karl Anderson to Arn Anderson which is some of the highest praise you can get.

Goto and Anderson, former partners, start things off with a stalemate out of a quick sequence on the mat. The challengers are in trouble early as they’re sent into each other on the apron and Gallows kicks Goto’s head off for the early advantage. Back in and the champs hit a pair of splashes for two on Goto with a leg lariat getting the same for Anderson.

The monster Gallows comes in (it’s amazing how much better he is with some intensity instead of just being a standard big man) to exchange some clotheslines with Goto and the champ goes down. Off to Shibata who nails a running dropkick as everything breaks down. The champs take running dropkicks in the corner and a double belly to back suplex gets two on Gallows. Anderson comes back with a backbreaker, setting up a standing Demolition Decapitator for two on Goto.

A reverse 3D gets the same on Shibata but Goto breaks up a Tornadoplex (AJ Styles and Tomko’s old move, where Gallows loads up a spinning suplex with Anderson adding a spinning side slam) and AA’s Anderson onto his knee. Gallows chokeslams Shibata for the same but the challengers pop up to double team the monster. A bunch of kicks from Gotp set up a running kick to the chest for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but I didn’t get a big feeling from the title change. Goto and Shibata feel like any two guys who happen to be fighting the champs. The problem here though is I’ve only been told about the history here. A video package of the champs being dominant and then losing to Shibata and Goto in the tournament final would have helped, but the talking about it is far better than nothing.

The new champs sit down in the ring to pose.

AJ Styles vs. Tetsuya Naito

Styles is Bullet Club and Striker plays up the two broken necks from Styles Clashes. AJ goes right after him at the bell and tries the Clash but Naito sends him to the apron. They head outside with AJ moonsaulting to the floor but landing on his feet. Back in and Naito hits a top rope dropkick but AJ comes back with a Stunner on the leg to slow down the high flier. Psychology is fun.

A Robinsdale Crunch sets up an Indian deathlock as AJ keeps mixing up the offense. I love it when people avoid just doing the same moves over and over because there are so many different things you can do. Naito comes back with some right hands and a neckbreaker out of the corner. The knee gives out though and AJ hits that springboard forearm (love that move) to take over again.

AJ tries a suplex into a neckbreaker but slips up on the landing. Yes, people do botch things in New Japan too. A wicked German suplex on Naito looks to set up a faceplant but Naito rolls through for two of his own. Styles pops back up and crotches him on top but Naito backflips out of a belly to back superplex. It jams the knee again though and AJ puts on the Calf Killer (which Striker screws up by calling it the Calf Killer), eventually sending Naito diving to the ropes for the break. AJ fights out of something like a German suplex but gets caught in a dragon suplex for two.

Naito’s leg is suddenly fine so AJ Pele’s him down for a lack of selling. Sunday Bloody Sunday (a single arm implant DDT which used to be Devitt’s finishing move) looks to set up the Clash but Naito backdrops him to the floor. After a quick breather, AJ sends him into the buckle but collapses, allowing Naito to hit a slingshot dropkick. He loads up a top rope Frankensteiner but gets caught in a super Styles Clash (now with 100% less neck breaking) for the pin.

Rating: B. I liked the match and AJ’s offense made perfect sense, but having him in the finisher leg lock and then Naito hitting dropkicks and trying high risk offense made my eyes roll. What good can AJ do if Naito won’t keep selling the leg injury? They had a good story going here though and the action was good enough. Solid match and one of the better AJ matches I’ve seen in a good while. See what happens when you get away from the overrated TNA roster?

Video on Nakamura vs. Ibushi. The two fought as junior heavyweights where Ibushi won a big showdown, so tonight they’re fighting as heavyweights for Nakamura’s Intercontinental Title. This match has received rave reviews with Meltzer giving it five stars (You knew he was giving something on this show five stars) so I’m curious to see how great it is. I’ve only seen one Nakamura match and I liked it quite a bit so hopefully this lives up to that standard.

Intercontinental Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Kota Ibushi

I still can’t quite describle Nakamura but he seems to be something like a Dean Ambrose who marches to his own drum. Ibushi is a very high flier who does a lot of cool looking flips. Nakamura comes to the ring in a robe and a crown to a huge reaction. He certainly has more charisma than almost anyone else tonight. I get a kind of Mick Jagger feel from him and that’s a very high compliment.

They slowly feel each other out by throwing some kicks and Nakamura drives him up against the ropes for some knees to the ribs. The champ offers him a handshake but pulls him in for a knee to the ribs, only to miss the Daniel Bryan running knee. Kota takes him down into the corner and puts his boot on Nakamura’s face, which is apparently a Nakamura signature. That would be proven correct as Nakamura does the same thing to him ten seconds later.

Another knee to the back of the head sends Ibushi to the floor as JR talks about Mr. Wrestling II. Off to a cravate from the champ and we hit the chinlock. Nakamura steps it up a bit and gets some two counts without breaking the hold. That’s a new one. Back up and Nakamura slaps him in the face over and over before they do the face to face staredown. A Backstabber puts Kota down but a hurricanrana sends Nakamura outside, setting up a huge moonsault to the floor.

Back in again and a springboard missile dropkick sends Nakamura sprawling across the ring. Nakamura backflips him to the apron, which Striker attributes to his “veteranness.” Now a normal person would just use the word “experience” there, but Striker seems to prefer to invent words that are more complicated than they need to be in an effort to sound smart. Ibushi’s second missile dropkick attempt is kicked out of the air and a front suplex sets up more knee strikes to Kota’s head.

Another running knee attempt misses and a great looking springboard hurricanrana gets two on the champ. A dragon suplex (WAY too popular of a move tonight) sets up a standing corkscrew moonsault for another near fall. Something like a Chick Kick sends Nakamura into dream land and a Last Ride sitout powerbomb (cool) gets the third straight two count. Kota misses the Phoenix Splash (moonsault into a 450) though and a big knee to the back of the head knocks him silly and both guys are down.

Back up and Nakamura stomps away but Kota just smiles at him. Kota just unloads on him with right hands and Nakamura shoves the referee down for no apparent reason. There’s a cross armbreaker on Kota but he fights up and viciously stomps Nakamura’s face to escape. A reverse T-Bone suplex sends Nakamura flying and Kota hits the champ’s running knee for two. Nakamura is all ticked off now and it turns into a slugout until Nakamura drops down so Kota can hit a standing double stomp. That was a horribly telegraphed spot.

Kota takes him over to the apron, springboards up to the top and muscles the bigger Nakamura up for a German superplex. Ok that made up for the double stomp. Freaking awesome move there. Somehow it only gets two and therefore Nakamura is going to retain. Nakamura headbutts out of something called the Phoenix suplex and elbows Kota in the head.

A middle rope knee to the back puts Kota down but it’s time for FIGHTING SPIRIT, which is Japanese for no selling. They both try knees and collide in a good spot before a fireman’s carry driver (Lucha Underground’s King Cuerno’s Thrill of the Hunt) sets up Nakamura’s running knee to retain.

Rating: A. Here’s the match where I get in trouble. I really liked this one and it’s by far the best match of the night so far, but giving this five stars is a BIG stretch. That would put this on the level of CM Punk vs. John Cena from Money in the Bank, Flair vs. Steamboat (pick one), Undertaker vs. Shawn in the Cell and Hart vs. Austin at Wrestlemania XIII? There’s no way I can see that happening, but this is Meltzer talking about Japan so you have to expect a lot of over hype.

The match itself was indeed very good though and Nakamura thankfully can do more stuff than just the knee strikes. Not a lot more mind you but at least he can mix things up. Ibushi’s strength surprised me here and he looked like someone who could succeed anywhere. Really good match here and worth checking out. It’s not as good as it’s hyped up as, but most matches rarely are.

Nakamura bows to Ibushi post match and grabs the mic to say……I have no idea actually. Striker offers some websites to find out the translation, because the idea of having a translator there on sight is too complicated I guess.

We recap Tanahashi vs. Okada, which is the NJPW equivalent of Rock vs. Austin. They’ve fought time after time now and traded the title for years. Tanahashi is the old guard and Okada wants to be the new top guy.

IWGP World Title: Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Kazuchika Okada

Tanahashi is defending. Okada, 27 here and known as the Rain Maker, has an entrance video of gold coins falling for a nice touch. He also has Gedo, one of NJPW’s bookers and a famous tag wrestler, in his corner. Tanahashi, basically a superhero, plays air guitar on the way to the ring. They lock up after a minute of circling each other until they trade wristlocks. Tanahashi takes him down into a headlock but Okada reverses into one of his own. The champ tries another headlock but gets countered into a headscissors for a stalemate. They’re going for the big match feel here and they’re off to a good start.

They head into the corner and Okada nails him in the face, causing Tanahashi to go straight at him with forearms. He heads to the middle rope though and a hard running elbow knocks him down to the floor. A big boot knocks him over the barricade and an Orton DDT brings him back to the floor. They fight up the ramp where Tanahashi has to block a tombstone attempt. Instead it’s a jawbreaker to stagger Okada but he comes back with something like a Roode Bomb. JR brings up that Tanahashi has a bad back and neck, which is exactly the reason they brought him in.

Back in and Okada elbows him in the jaw but misses a backsplash. A middle rope Swanton gets two for the champ but he gets caught in a majistral cradle into a choke. Again, staying on the neck. A slingshot hilo gets two for Okada and things slow back down. They slug it out with Okada getting the better of it until they grab each other by the hair. The champ heads to the top but has to elbow out of what looks like a Samoan drop, setting up the High Fly Flow (Five Star Frog Splash) but Okada rolls away.

Something like White Noise onto the knee gets two for Okada but the Rain Maker (the move, not the person. It’s a wristlock into a big clothesline, which has been named Best Wrestling Move two years in a row in the Observer. For the life of me I don’t understand the huge appeal. It’s just a clothesline) is countered into a rollup for two. A dragon screw leg whip takes Okada down again and Tanahashi dropkicks the knee out to send Okada outside.

This time it’s Okada being sent over the barricade and getting taken down by a huge cross body. Striker: “Dare I say a Wrestle Kingdom moment???” JR’s silence is glorious. Back in and Tanahashi teases a Rain Maker but takes him down with a Sling Blade (spinning clothesline neckbreaker), only to have Okada pop up and try a tombstone, but Tanahashi reverses into one of his own. High Fly Flow hits Okada’s back and a second hits the chest for a very close two. The camera goes over to a shot of the title in a very nice touch.

Okada kicks away from an attempted Texas Cloverleaf but gets caught in another Sling Blade. Tanahashi mocks the Rain Maker post but walks into the real thing for two, which is the first time he has ever kicked out of it. They slug it out from their knees until Tanahashi reverses a tombstone into a rollup for two. A big slap staggers Okada but he grabs a backslide of all things for two, only to get caught in a German suplex for two.

Okada hits an even bigger bridging German for two more. The Rain Maker is countered into a dragon suplex for two and a big old dropkick catches Tanahashi in the jaw. JR is in full on main event mode here and it’s really working. Tanahashi twists the knee around two more times with Okada in the ropes, setting up the High Fly Flow for no cover. Instead he cranks on the knee even more, setting up a High Fly Flow to a seated Okada, followed by a fifth High Fly Flow to retain the title.

Rating: A-. So when Tanahashi does it it’s a classic but when Cena does it, he’s repetitive and only knows a few moves? I really don’t care for the repetition of a move to get a pin but it’s how main events work today. The knee work didn’t really go anywhere here and Tanahashi never even hooked the Texas Cloverleaf.

I need to get on something more positive here because it sounds like I hated this match. It’s the same rating I gave to them at this show two years ago and it’s about the same level as the previous one. This was a good, back and forth fight with both guys looking like big stars. I wouldn’t call this a classic, but it was certainly worthy of ending the biggest show of the year. They hit a point near the end with the suplexes that got me far more into things and kicking out of the Rain Maker was a nice touch.

Post match Okada leaves but Tanahashi gets on the mic to shout at him. I’m not sure what he’s saying but it doesn’t seem to be angry or mean. With Okada gone, Tanahashi seems to thank the fans but they won’t let him leave. He gives us some air guitar and collapses in a nice bit. We get a quick translation of his comments to Okada: Okada is a long way from being the ace and Tanahashi is proud of his performance. That’s kind of a heelish comment no? He takes a few more minutes to leave and we’re out of here.

Overall Rating: A. As usual, I liked the show but I have no desire to keep watching it full time. There are some very good and entertaining matches on the show and the wrestling is more than good enough to warrant sitting through this once. The worst match for me was the Suzuki match but that’s much more due to me not being a fan of the style than anything else. It’s definitely an excellent show and lived up to (most of) the hype it had. There are a lot of people I’d keep watching on here and that’s not something I often say.

Striker and Ross were fine on commentary though nothing outstanding. They were definitely a positive for the show and experience as a whole as the Japanese commentary can get annoying in a hurry since it’s just gibberish to me most of the time. Striker had some annoying moments but he was FAR better here than he usually is in Lucha Underground. Ross sounded like an old, grizzled veteran but he got into the main event, which is all you really could ask from him at this point. They could have been better, but they were a very welcome addition.

Overall I did like the show and I can see why its fans are so passionate about this company, but it’s just not something I care about enough to keep watching. For the most part I have no reason to care about most of these characters because I don’t follow them enough. The strong style still gets on my nerves and I can’t imagine ever becoming a fan of it. I like my wrestling more character based than in ring based and that’s really hard to do here when I can’t understand what’s being said most of the time.

One last thing: cutting this down to under four hours is a GREAT move. I remember one of these breaking five hours and it felt like a nightmare slogging through the whole thing. Three hours and forty five minutes (not counting the pre-show match) is acceptable for the biggest show of the year and the show never felt like it was dragging. Really good show though and worth checking out if you have the time.

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Lucha Underground – January 7, 2015: WAR

Lucha Underground
Date: January 7, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

After taking the holidays off, we’re back for the biggest match in Lucha Underground history: Aztec Warfare, which sounds like a battle royal/Royal Rumble style match with the winner becoming the first Lucha Underground Champion. A title is a good idea and they couldn’t go much longer without having a belt around here. Let’s get to it.

We open with shots of people walking through the hills to reach the Lucha Underground temple. This turns into Cueto recapping the previous show where Mil Muertes earned the last spot in Aztec Warfare by defeating Fenix, meaning Fenix enters first.

Aztec dancers and drummers bless the temple.

Cueto is in the ring to talk about how this will be a blessed year for Lucha Underground. The fans chant for AZTEC WARFARE as Cueto explains the rules: it’s basically a twenty man Royal Rumble with 90 second intervals but eliminations can only occur by pinfall or submission and anything goes. This could be a long one.

Lucha Underground Title: Aztec Warfare

Fenix is in at #1 and Johnny Mundo is in at #2. Cueto makes sure to emphasize that Mundo is number TWO. Johnny blocks an early kick and sweeps out the leg, only to miss a standing Shooting Star. Back up and a superkick sends Johnny to the floor but he runs back in to clothesline Fenix over the top as Cisco is in at #3 (the intervals aren’t quite ninety seconds but close enough). Cisco hammers on both guys because he’s a fairly basic lackey. Mundo gets kicked to the floor so Fenix picks Cisco up and hits a kind of running Death Valley Driver into the corner, setting up the End of the World to eliminate Cisco.

Back from a break with nothing changed and King Cuerno coming in at #4. Fenix goes right at Cuerno but superkicks Mundo by mistake, only to get monkey flipped back by the King. A huge suicide dive takes Mundo down again and the fans are way into this. Fenix enziguris Cuerno off the apron and hits a big flip dive as Son of Havoc is in at #5 in WAY less than 90 seconds. Mundo grabs him by the beard and pops Havoc in the jaw, only to have Son of send him to the floor for an even bigger flip dive.

Maybe 30 seconds after Havoc, Pimpinela Escarlata is in at #6. They’re not even trying on the times. Escarlata dropkicks Havoc down and does a flashy rope walk as Striker gets on a soapbox to talk about tolerance for people like Pimpinela. Yes we get it: he’s different. Let it go already. The referee gets acosted in the corner but Cuerno saves him from Escarlata. Prince Puma is in at #7 and goes right after Mundo with a Lionsault getting two. Fenix drops a top rope legdro as the mystery woman is shown watching from the entrance. Speaking of women in the entrance, Ivelisse is in at #8.

She plants Fenix with a tornado DDT but gets choked by Escarlata. Striker: “This is kind of hot too!” Ivelisse kicks Escarlata in the head and Havoc pins Pimpinela with a Shooting Star to clear the ring out a bit. Ivelisse kicks Cuerno down and Drago is in at #9. The ring is starting to get full but it’s really helping that they can go outside. Drago fires kicks at Fenix and DDTs him for two. The King is watching in the corner as Drago cleans house, only to sneak up on Drago with an enziguri to the back of the head. The Thrill of the Hunt eliminates Ivelisse and Bael is in at #10, giving us Fenix, Mundo, Cuerno, Puma, Drago and Bael.

Drago sends Fenix and Cuerno outside before taking them both out with a big dive. Puma Superman Punches Havoc down and a superkick is good enough to eliminate the biker. Things keep going as Puma dives over the top to take Mundo down and Cortez Castro is in at #11. He suplexes Puma down as the Crew starts taking over. This is going by so fast that it’s hard to do anything other than play by play. Cuerno dropkicks someone we can’t see on the floor (presumably Drago) and Ricky Mandel is in at #12. Puma kicks Bael in the head and something like a Jackhammer sets up a standing Shooting Star for the elimination.

Mundo leg lariats Cortez and a running knee to the head takes out another member of the Crew. Big Ryck is in at #13 and we take a break. Back with Ryck getting in and running over Puma and Mundo before a Rock Bottom eliminates Mandel. Drago comes in to try his luck but Ryck gorilla presses him into the Thrill of the Hunt from Cuerno for the elimination. Cool spot there. Cuerno poses too long though and gets crucifixed by Mundo for the pinfall.

Pentagon Jr. is in at #14 and unleashes the clotheslines before getting caught in Ryck’s full nelson. Mundo and Puma superkick Ryck though, only to have Pentagon powerbomb Puma onto his knee. A HUGE powerbomb plants Fenix for two but Ryck makes the save. Even the announcers aren’t sure why he did that and for once I can’t argue with them. Well I could but they’re right so why bother. Pentagon kicks at Ryck and Super Fly is in at #15. Mundo enziguris (WAY too common of a move in this match) Puma by mistake and Super Fly dives over the top rope to take Pentagon out.

Ryck clears the ring and blasts Mundo in the face, only to have Puma make the save. It’s Chavo Guerrero Jr. in at #16 with a chair in hand, which knocks Super Fly silly for an elimination. Pentagon gets the same treatment to clear the ring out a bit more. Mundo chases Chavo to the floor and gets nailed in the ribs with the chair for his efforts. Mascarita Sagrada is in at #17 and we take another break. I know they’re trying to get everyone in there but they really could have left out Sagrada and Escarlata. They’re comedy/fun characters and that’s not something I need to see in this match.

Back with Sagrada dropping Chavo with a pair of cross bodies until Fenix chops him against the ropes. A hurricanrana puts Fenix on the floor but he dropkicks Sagrada out of the air to block a dive from the apron. Sexy Star (unfortunately without the entrance) is in at #18 and kicks Chavo off the apron. We get Big Ryck and Sagrada in the ring because it’s funny or something. The masked man’s sunset flip attempt goes as well as you would expect it to and Ryck just crushes him for the elimination.

El Mariachi Loco is in at #19 and nails a nice springboard missile dropkick to stagger Ryck. Loco, Fenix and Mundo have a quick three way sequence with Loco climbing the ropes into a wristdrag on Mundo. Now Loco hammers on Puma but stops to dance, allowing Ryck to take Loco’s head off. Mil Muertes is in at #20, giving us a final grouping of Fenix, Mundo, Puma, Big Ryck, Chavo, Sexy Star, Mariachi Loco and Muertes. That’s not bad actually.

Muertes cleans house to start and the Flatliner drops Loco for the elimination to get us down to seven. We get the big showdown with Ryck vs. Muertes, allowing Striker to imitate Gorilla Monsoon talking about the immovable object. All seven get back in to break up the brawl though and Johnny hits a quick End of the World on Ryck but Chavo throws him to the floor. Puma adds a standing Shooting Star but Chavo throws Puma outside as well and covers, only to have Fenix hit a 450 onto Guerrero’s back, setting up a double pin on Ryck. Chavo pops up and blasts Fenix in the head with the chair with the pin.

With five left, Sexy Star gets in Chavo’s face and dropkicks him down, only to have Chavo slam her onto the chair. He puts the chair over her face and goes up but Blue Demon comes in for the save, allowing Star to chair Chavo in the head for the elimination. The final four are Sexy Star, Johnny Mundo, Mil Muertes and Prince Puma and we take a break.

Back with all four in the ring and Muertes going after Star but Mundo and Puma make a quick save. Star headscissors the heroes down but eats a spear for the elimination. Mundo charges at Mil in the corner, which Striker calls ironic because I don’t think Striker knows what ironic means. Puma takes Johnny down with a Zig Zag but Mundo hits a cross body to send Puma to the floor.

It’s Johnny taking it to Muertes in the corner but Puma comes in for a double superplex on the big man. Catrina trips Puma and gets pulled to the apron. Muertes intervenes and ducks the Flying Chuck, which knocks Catrina out cold. Mundo drops Muertes and the heroes hit back to back springboard 450 splashes for a double pin to get us down to one on one. This is one of the best possible options they could have.

Puma draws first blood with a dropkick. Vampiro says he can’t call the match because he’s too busy watching. Thanks for showing up Vamp. Mundo slides through the legs and grabs a half crab. Vampiro, ever the sage, says Puma’s experience will help him escape, not two minutes after calling Puma a rookie.

Johnny is sent to the apron and they both head to the top with Puma planting him with a C4 (top rope flip downward spiral) for two. If Puma wins, there’s no reason that shouldn’t be the finish. They head back up top with Mundo hitting a reverse hurricanrana (zero reaction from the announcers), followed by the End of the World for two. Mundo loads up his own C4 but gets crotched down, allowing Puma to hit the 630 for the pin and the title at 53:45.

Rating: B+. Well that rocked. I can’t emphasize enough how important it was for this to be pinfall or submission. Instead of having just a normal battle royal, it feels like Puma actually defeated everyone else and is the last man standing. The other thing I liked about this was how you really felt a lot of people could win. I could easily have seen Mundo, Puma, Ryck, Muertes or even Cuerno winning this, and that’s the most important thing you can have in a free for all like this.

Mundo and Puma shake hands as Konnan comes out to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. I’m really, really digging this company as they’re going with a niche style show but knocking it (mostly) out of the park. The stories are there and the feuds can intertwine very well. It also helps that you have stories that all seem important rather than all of the stuff being there to fill time until we can get to the big stuff. They rolled the dice here and it really, really worked. Great match and a great show.

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Lucha Underground – December 17, 2014: Beware The Dark Side

Lucha Underground
Date: December 17, 2014
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

The main story coming out of last week is Johnny Mundo taking the $100,000 in the ladder match and then laying out Cueto. It’s hard to say where things go from here, but the main story seems to be the continuing feud with the boss because that’s how wrestling works anymore. Let’s get to it.

We open with a bunch of the roster in the ring and Dario Cueto coming out to address them. Everyone in the ring will be competing in a Lucha Underground ten way match, as well as another ten competing in a ten way match of their own. The winners will receive something much more valuable than money.

Drago vs. Big Ryck vs. Prince Puma vs. King Cuerno vs. Mascarita Sagrada vs. Fenix vs. Mariachi Loco vs. Pentagon Jr. vs. Son of Havoc vs. Super Fly

One fall to a finish. It’s a big brawl to start with everyone going after Ryck but he shoves all of them away. Sagrada actually puts Ryck in a hammerlock and kicks his legs out, only to have…..something happen to him. I’m not sure what because the camera was on Vampiro and Striker. It doesn’t help that Striker is starting to lose his voice. Actually wait. That’s a REALLY good thing.

Everyone goes after Ryck again before Pentagon backdrops Drago onto Fenix. Sagrada misses a kick to Pentagon’s head before both guys head out to the apron. The little guy monkey flips Fenix down on the floor before Super Fly hits a huge moonsault from the top to take out Pentagon again. It’s Son of Havoc vs. Puma in the ring with both guys flipping around a lot until Havoc headscissors him down onto the bad ribs.

Puma sends him right back to the floor and hits a big flip dive before high fiving Danny Trejo. Ryck comes back in to wreck some people, including throwing Drago onto Super Fly and Pentagon. Everyone else gets their heads taken off with clotheslines. Puma and Fenix dropkick Ryck out to the floor before they trade running kicks to the jaw. Cuerno comes in to make a Tower of Doom to take down Fenix and Puma, only to have Havoc hit a shooting star on Cuerno for two.

Fenix hits a big flip splash for two on Puma, leaving us with Drago vs. Super Fly. Cuerno makes the save but Drago hammers him down, only to get kicked in the face. The Thrill of the Hunt is good for two as Mariachi Loco comes back in and superkicks Cuerno down for two. Pentagon grabs Loco for a package piledriver (called a Muscle Buster by Striker) for two more.

Sagrada comes back in to hammer on everyone but Puma throws him into the air for a kick to the ribs (it would be a punt Vampiro, not a field goal). Not that it matters as Ryck drills Puma with a clothesline, only to have everyone go after him again. Drago gets knocked to the floor for a great looking dive from Cureno, followed by the parade of dives to put most of the people down. Fenix hits a kind of 619 to Ryck but Puma kicks him down a second later. Puma hits the 630 on Ryck but walks into a tornado DDT from Fenix. A sitout tombstone is enough for Fenix to pin Puma in a pretty big upset.

Rating: C+. This was fun but it was so insane that it was hard to keep track of. The dives are always cool to see, but I’m not wild on the lack of focus on the storyline and the emphasis going onto the insanity with the dives and flips. Yeah they’re fun, but eventually people are going to stop caring because they’ve seen them before.

Battle Royal

Mil Muertes, Sexy Star, Ricky Mandel, Pimpinela Escarlata, Cicso, Johnny Mundo, Famous B., Cortez Castro, Bael, Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Well, it is different. Bael is the recently debuted B-Boy. Star dives through the ropes to go after Chavo during the entrances before throwing him in for the first time. Mundo is quickly thrown over the top but hangs on as only he can. Famous B. (I don’t know who he is either) is thrown out early as Escarlata takes down Cortez and Cisco, only to get dropkicked by Star.

There goes Mandel as this is a mess so far. Striker calls Escarlata him and her in the span of five seconds, only to have Escarlata be eliminated a few seconds later. Chavo throws Star to the mat before pulling on her hair. A high cross body goes badly for Star and Chavo easily eliminates her. Mundo gets knocked to the apron but manages to fight off all three members of the Crew. He even manages to eliminate Cisco and Cortez, allowing Muertes to spear Bael and dump him.

We’re down to Chavo, Mundo and Muertes with Guerrero getting the early advantage. Mundo fights back but misses a dropkick, allowing Chavo to monkey flip him to the apron but Johnny hangs on again. Muertes grabs Chavo for a German suplex but Mundo sunset flips him, sending Chavo flying. Vampiro: “I haven’t seen that since All Japan!” Then watch TNA because I’ve seen it there at least three times, but I guess that doesn’t count because it’s not from Japan.

Catrina trips up Mundo and Muertes sends him to the apron, only to have Johnny springboard back in. Chavo gets crotched on the ropes, setting up the Flying Chuck for the elimination by Mundo. We’re down to Muertes vs. Mundo and the slugout is on. Johnny is knocked back to the apron but grabs Muertes by the leg. Striker of course talks about Catrina’s skirt.

A knee to the face staggers Mil and Mundo sends him to the apron. Some kicks to Mil’s ribs have him in trouble but he knocks Mundo down on the apron. Johnny just keeps kicking though and gets back in, setting up an enziguri to put Muertes down again. The End of the World hits knees though and Johnny comes up limping, allowing Mil to clothesline him (of course called a Lariato by Striker because….well because he’s Striker) out for the win.

Rating: C-. This is another match where I really don’t know what I’m supposed to say about it. It’s a battle royal and not a particularly interesting one. Yeah the right guy won and it likely sets up Fenix vs. Muertes for something, but at the end of the day, most battle royals just aren’t that interesting, this one included.

Here’s Cueto with something this promotion has needed for awhile: the Lucha Underground Championship. He’s come up with the most brutal match ever: Aztec Warfare. On the first show of the new year, the winner will be crowned the first ever Lucha Underground Champion. That brings him to Muertes and Fenix. They’ve battled to get here, but now they’re facing each other for….the final spot in Aztec Warfare. The loser however will enter last. It sounds like a Royal Rumble from here.

Fenix vs. Mil Muertes

Muertes knocks him down to start and hammers away on Fenix’s back. A very bouncy springboard armdrag (with Muertes just standing there like a nitwit) takes Mil down before a missile dropkick sends him out to the floor. Fenix follows him out with a big corkscrew dive but both guys are down. Back in and the spear takes Fenix down as the announcers keep talking about Catrina looking good. Fenix pops back up with a handspring into a kick to the head, only to have Muertes plant him for two. Another handspring into a cutter gets two for Fenix but he springboards into a European uppercut. The Flatliner gives Muertes the win.

Rating: C. Just a basic power vs. speed match here and more proof that Muertes needs a better finisher. It’s just not a good move for a guy that strong to use as a finisher. Change him over to something like a spinebuster or just that spear, but get him away from the same thing Mr. Anderson uses.

In the back, Cueto looks at the title and says the gold in the belt comes from each of the Aztec tribes. He tells someone off camera that they can’t touch it to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The show was fun for the most part but I’m really not wild on them basically throwing out most of the stories for a one night competition to set up another competition. Now hopefully they can tie things back together with the stories to make it all come full circle, but I’m starting to lose faith in these guys. I’m just not feeling this idea of going for a fun show rather than setting up lasting stories. It makes them feel a little desperate, which isn’t a good sign. Hopefully I’m looking too deeply into this, but I’m not wild on this show.

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Lucha Underground – December 10, 2014: Matt Striker Is Annoying

Lucha Underground
Date: December 10, 2014
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

We actually have a major match tonight with a $100,000 ladder match between Johnny Mundo, Prince Puma and Big Ryck. This has the potential to be a major match, which might be exactly what the company needs as their ratings haven’t exactly been the best. Granted that’s probably because not a lot of people have the El Rey Network. Let’s get to it.

We open with the usual recap, focusing on the ladder match and Sexy Star getting some revenge in the tag match.

Danny Trejo is still here, likely because this is still the same taping.

King Cuerno vs. Super Fly

There’s a Jimmy Snuka joke in there somewhere. Cuerno jumps him to start and the beating is quickly on. Drago is watching from the crowd as Cuerno runs Super Fly over again for two. A dropkick gets another two as this is firmly in squash territory. The fans are entirely behind Cuerno as Striker brings up Super Calo for some reason before talking about why Fly did a certain “bump.” Fly knocks him out to the floor for a big dive but Cuerno just kicks his head off. Cuerno sees Drago and loads up the sitout Death Valley Driver for the pin.

Rating: C-. I still like the Cuerno character but I’m not thrilled with him feuding with Drago. It just doesn’t seem like a huge challenge to him as Cuerno has just mauled everyone he’s been in there with so far. Hopefully they give him a new feud soon after he destroys Drago. Super Fly didn’t do much for me here.

Solid video on Pentagon Jr., who we’ve seen a few times now. They play him up as a modern day Samurai.

Fenix vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Chavo has Pentagon Jr. with him but Fenix counters with Sexy Star. The fans are split on who they like better here, which isn’t the best sign given that Chavo likes to beat up women. Fenix dropkicks him into the ropes to start and a second one gets two. Off to a Fujiwara Armbar on Chavo for a few seconds followed by the springboard double knee to Chavo’s chest, only to have him roll into a half crab. Pentagon Jr. pulls the rope away but not far enough as Fenix gets the break.

Chavo wraps the leg around the post before just punching Fenix in the face. Back up and Fenix sends him to the floor and hits a big corkscrew dive onto both Jrs. They head back inside with Fenix diving into a slam for two, followed by the Frog Splash for the pin. Sexy Star didn’t do much here.

Rating: C. Not bad here but there’s a limit to how good a Chavo Guerrero match is going to be. He’s another guy that we’ve seen for so many years and there’s just nothing all that interesting to him anymore. It’s not that his matches are bad or anything, but he’s totally maxed out on how far he can grow.

Sexy Star says he (meaning Blue Demon Jr.) is coming back.

Cage (Brian Cage from PWG) is coming. He doesn’t have any special powers because this isn’t make believe. The guy is incredibly muscular and could be a good change of pace from all the high flying.

Prince Puma vs. Johnny Mundo vs. Big Ryck

$100,000 ladder match set up by Cueto giving the hardest worker bonus from week #1 to Ryck. Johnny then threatened Cueto and demanded his money, so this $100,000 is Ryck’s contract bonus. Mundo has also stolen Cueto’s mysterious key. Konnan is announced as being in Puma’s corner but he’s nowhere in sight.

Ryck gets double teamed to start as Striker tries to cover the history of ladder matches. Mundo nails a running kick to Puma’s face, followed by a hard knee. Ryck knocks Mundo off a ladder but Puma baseball slides the ladder into him to take over. Now it’s Mundo pulling Puma down from the ladder but has to avoid the ladder being shoved at his head. Striker says that the briefcase doesn’t have to be airbrushed to signify its significance. This has been Matt Striker’s Weekly Shot At WWE, Thereby Making Him Look Like A Stupid Jerk.

The big man finally gets back in and knocks both guys down with a ladder. Cue Cisco and Cortez to do the climbing, which actually makes sense. Puma and Mundo come in for the save as an ECW chant starts up. They shove the ladder over, sending Cortez down onto Cisco and Ryck in a big crash. Puma is whipped into the ladder against the ropes, setting up a big dive from Mundo to put all the heels down again.

It’s table time, allowing Striker to talk about ECW again. Mundo pounds on Puma’s chest and sets up the required huge ladder on the floor. He climbs up to dive through Cisco on the tables but had to fight off Puma instead. They wind up on the apron but Puma dives through the ladder to take out the villains in a nice spot. Totally choreographed of course but nice. Mundo and Puma head back inside to fight over the ladder with Johnny being sent into the corner with the ladder going into his ribs.

Puma goes for a climb but Mundo is right there (which Striker chalks up to experience. You know, instead of just calling it common sense), only to eat a Diamond Cutter (yes a Diamond Cutter, not an Ace Crusher like “I KNOW MOVE NAMES!” Striker). Ryck and company come back in and bridge a ladder into the other ladder like a platform. Mundo is whipped face first into the platform before being catapulted into it again.

The ladders go down as Ryck just mauls both guys. Now we have a table in the ring as the lackeys double team Mundo. They load up something off the top but Johnny slams Cisco through the tables on the floor to get a breather. Ryck and Mundo both pick up ladders and bang them together with Johnny getting the better of it. Cortez is back up though and loads up a superplex on Puma, only driven through the table by the double knees.

Mundo is waiting on Puma with a ladder to the face and the masked man falls out to the floor. Striker: “It doesn’t matter how many t-shirts you have or how popular your podcast is. It’s about THIS.” Mundo dives over a ladder with a corkscrew dive onto Ryck and follows it up with the End of the World onto Ryck onto the ladder. Puma nails a 630 to the same target before knocking Johnny out to the floor.

Instead of climbing though he puts Johnny on a ladder over the middle rope in the corner. Johnny fights up but gets dropped ribs first into the ladder, only to dive into a Ryck powerbomb. Ryck drops Puma onto Johnny onto the ladder before throwing Puma through another ladder at ringside. He climbs up two ladders in the middle of the ring but Mundo very slowly goes up. Why Ryck didn’t just grab the briefcase isn’t clear but I’d assume it’s due to the script saying he’s not supposed to.

Mundo knocks him off but “a fan” in a mask comes in to shove him down. He takes off the mask to reveal himself as indy wrestler B-Boy (not named) but Mundo beats him up on the floor. Cisco and Cortez go up a ladder but Mundo snaps Ryck’s neck across a rope and springboards up to another ladder. A kick knocks the lackeys’ ladder down and Mundo gets the briefcase.

Rating: B-. This was long and felt like they had a big checklist of spots that they wanted to get in before the end of the match. The overbooking got old in a hurry but at least there was a story to the match. Mundo winning is the logical ending and I’m sure he’ll have to deal with B-Boy now, but it’s still only so good compared to some of the other matches like this that we’ve seen over the years.

Post match Cueto comes out and wants to have a business relationship with Mundo but first, he wants the key back. He demands that Mundo put it around his neck but Johnny puts it upside his head to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was better for the most part due to the last third being spent on a big match but they need some fresh blood. The problem is these stories just kind of keep going with no real end or goal in sight, which can run out of steam at some point. On top of that, having one major match like this, while entertaining, isn’t a good idea on a one hour show because it keeps a lot of people off the show. Cut a few minutes off this and give us a quick promo or match instead. It would keep the show a bit more fresh. It’s a good episode but there are some tweaks they need to make.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Lucha Underground – December 3, 2014: Maybe They Should Try Above Ground?

Lucha Underground
Date:
December 3, 2014
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

I’m finally caught up with these guys but unfortunately it’s right around the time when things are starting to slow down. The stories are getting a bit dull but there’s still more than enough time to fix things before it gets too boring. The main story continues to be Mundo/Puma vs. Ryck/Cisco/Castro, while Cueto is still behind the scenes pulling the strings. Let’s get to it.

Big Ryck is in Cueto’s office and has just signed a big money contract. Cueto calls violence his favorite form of entertainment, and things are about to become a lot more entertaining.

Here are Ivelisse and Son of Havoc for a chat. She isn’t pleased that Son of Havoc has been treated like such a joke since he debuted here, having to face a woman and half a man so far. If they wanted to deal with this, they wouldn’t have signed a seven year contract to fight here. If this is what they wanted, they would be living in Nashville. Yeah yeah yeah, take those shots at companies that have actually been around longer than five weeks. Havoc issues an open challenge.

Pimpinela Escarlata vs. Son of Havoc

Escarlate is an exotico, which basically means cross dressing wrestler. Striker says Gorgeous George was something like an exotico, which is like saying Chyna and Miss Elizabeth are the same kind of characters because they’re both women. Escarlata hits a high cross body to start things off but Havoc isn’t pleased. Back up and Escarlata tries to kiss him in the corner but settles for a top rope armdrag.

They head outside with Havoc taking a flip dive off the apron, setting up a missile dropkick back inside. Ivelisse gets on the apron as Havoc hiptosses him into the corner for two. A backdrop sends Escarlata over the post and out to the floor but he avoids a cross body. Escarlata is favoring his shoulder as Ivelisse comes in, drawing in Mascarita Sagrada for a distraction so Escarlata can grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. Much like the Sagrada matches, these matches may mean a lot in Mexico but American audiences are going to need someone a lot more competent than Vampiro or Striker to explain the idea. On top of that, the match was bad with some basic flips but too much going on to keep track of anything. Bad match and not a good idea in the first place.

Mundo goes in to yell at Cueto, saying he’s going to hurt him more every time Cueto sends Big Ryck after him. Cueto offers to pay Mundo off but Johnny takes the key from around Cueto’s neck for insurance.

Famous B. vs. Mil Muertes

Muertes jumps him before the bell before choking B. across the ropes. He slams B. out of the corner and the spear sets up the Flatliner for the pin.

Post match Mil holds Famous up for the lick from Catrina.

Video on Drago, focusing on how awesome dragons are.

Drago vs. King Cuerno

Cuerno immediately dropkicks him down and stomps away. He seems very angry but is nice enough to stand in one place so Drago can take him down with a springboard hurricanrana. The King slams him down though and nails Drago in the ribs a few times. I love how Cuerno stalks him like a hunter would. Those little things can carry a character. Back up and Drago kicks the knee out to send Cuerno to the floor, setting up a big dive.

The same chick from last week is shown watching from the entrance again. A running Blockbuster gets two for Drago with Cuerno grabbing the referee to break up the count. Back up and a rolling cradle gets two for Cuerno before he sends Drago outside for a dive of his own. Drago is done so the sitout AA (the Thrill of the Hunt) is enough for the pin.

Rating: C. I like Cuerno more than most of the people on this show but he needs to get on to someone other than Drago. It’s not a bad match or anything but it feels like Cuerno is just several steps ahead of him, which doesn’t make for the most entertaining matches. Good enough here though and Drago didn’t look bad.

Johnny Mundo comes out and demands Cueto come out here and pay him the $100,000 he stole at the first show. Instead he gets Big Ryck, who threatens to put Mundo through another table unless he leaves. Mundo dives through the ropes to take Ryck down before telling Cueto to get out here again. Cue Konnan, who says the money really belongs to Puma. Mundo’s actions have caused Puma to be attacked over and over so Puma will no longer have Mundo’s back.

The distraction lets Ryck nail Mundo, only to have Puma come in for a save. The good guys dropkick Ryck out to the floor but start slugging it out in the middle of the ring. Security can’t break them up so Cueto comes out with a briefcase containing the money. It’s supposed to be Ryck’s signing bonus, but Ryck has to earn it. Therefore, next week we’re having a $100,000 ladder match. Striker: “Dirtsheet quality news!”

Chavo Guerrero Jr./Pentagon Jr. vs. Sexy Star/Fenix

Fallout from last week with Chavo and Pentagon attacking Star, causing Fenix to come out for a save. Pentagon and Star get things going but all four are in a second after the bell. Fenix dropkicks Chavo out to the floor but Pentagon throws Star after him, leaving the masked men to speed things up. Fenix knocks him to the floor so it’s back to Chavo vs. Fenix with Guerrero slapping on a chinlock.

That goes nowhere as Fenix pops up and makes the tag off to Star to hammer on Chavo, until Pentagon trips her up from the apron. Pentagon comes in and chokes on the ropes as the heels keep control. Star finally slaps Chavo in the face, allowing for the hot tag off to Fenix. Things speed up as Fenix kicks him in the head, only to have Pentagon come back in with a quick powerbomb for two. Chavo nails a dropkick for two before Pentagon comes in for a double team.

Fenix nails a handspring cutter on Pentagon, setting up the real hot tag to Star for her revenge. Everything breaks down and Chavo takes over on Star, only to have Fenix dive into a double stomp to his back but get suplexed into the corner by Pentagon. Star DDTs Chavo down and hits a big dive out to the floor to take out Pentagon again.

Fenix backdrops Chavo outside as well, setting up a huge dive of his own. Back in and Star dives into a slam, setting up the “Five Star Frog Splash” (seriously, can we have Striker shot already?) until Fenix makes the save. He superkicks Pentagon down and nails a top rope double knee to the chest to give Star the pin.

Rating: D+. This is a tricky one as the match felt more like a lucha tag with everyone all over the place, but that takes away most of the storytelling that goes with it. The match was kind of a mess, though it was exciting enough to keep me interested. Star probably needs to win a singles match against a guy to validate all this stuff, but this was better than nothing.

Overall Rating: D. I really wasn’t feeling this one but they’ve set up enough stuff going forward. The problem here is that most of the wrestling hasn’t been great, and at the end of the day that’s going to catch up with you. I like the main event story though as Mundo and Puma should be able to tear the house down, which Cueto and Konnan make things a bit more interesting. The ladder match next week should be interesting as well. Not a good show this week but there’s a lot to look forward to if they can make it work.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

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Lucha Underground – November 26, 2014: They’re Slipping

Lucha Underground
Date: November 26, 2014
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

Finally caught up here with a show I’ll probably keep reviewing weekly. The interesting story now is likely going to be Mundo wondering why Puma didn’t come out to help him, putting a strain on their tentative partnership. Other than that we have a lot of masked guys running around and flipping a lot, which is perfectly fine for the most part. Let’s get to it.

We open with the usual recap from last week.

Konnan comes in to see Cueto on Puma’s behalf. He isn’t pleased with Puma being attacked last week but Cueto says they were acting on Big Ryck’s orders. Konnan isn’t sure if he believes that but wants Puma vs. Ryck in a street fight tonight. Cueto says he’ll drink to that but Konnan takes the glass from him and drinks it himself.

Drago vs. Mil Muertes

Drago has a big black tongue to go with the dragon motif. The announcers already screw up their own continuity by saying this is Mil’s first real test, despite his first match being against Blue Demon Jr., who they treated like the greatest thing ever. Muertes jumps Drago to start and tries a powerslam but drives Drago’s shoulder into the mat instead. Now it’s Drago being thrown out to the floor as King Cuerno is looking on from the entrance. Apparently he’s stalking his latest prey.

Back in and Muertes stays in control with a real powerslam for two. He charges into a superkick though and Drago fires off more kicks for two. A springboard DDT gets the same on Muertes but he spears Drago out of the air in a great looking crash. The Downward Spiral ends Drago a few seconds later.

Rating: C-. This was just a step above a squash but that spear looked great. Drago comes off like a midcard guy who seems to be like a Kofi Kingston: capable of doing some impressive looking stuff but comes up short in the big matches. Cuerno vs. Muertes could be a very interesting feud depending on how it’s built up.

Muertes and Catrina leave so Cuerno comes out to stalk Drago. So much for the more interesting feud. Cuerno lays out Drago with a fireman’s carry into a Michinoku Driver.

Video on Johnny Mundo. He won’t take nonsense from anyone and is here because he thinks he’s the best. This is mostly stuff we already know but it’s a good idea to fill people in who didn’t see him in WWE.

Catrina and Muertes in to see Cueto. She grabs the key around Cueto’s neck and says you can’t keep darkness locked away forever. Interesting indeed.

Son of Havoc vs. Mascarita Sagrada

Havoc has Ivelisse with him. She takes too long getting out of the ring though so Sagrada goes after Havoc to start fast. An armdrag puts Havoc down on the floor and Sagrada teases a big dive but he settles for countering a chokeslam into a rollup for two back inside. Havoc is ticked off though and throws Sagrada into the air for a big crash. A gorilla press drop into a standing moonsault gets no cover as Havoc would rather ram Sagrada’s head into the mat. Some good looking woman with long hair is watching from the entrance.

The small guy dives into a kick to the ribs for two with Havoc pulling him up. Ivelisse gets in a kick to the head of her own, earning her a dive a few moments later. Striker: “Payback is an Ivelisse!” Good line, but explaining it to Vampiro a few seconds later made me shake my head. Havoc goes out to check on her and gets a dive of his own to put all three down. Back in and Sagrada does his spin around into a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. Other than Ivelisse looking great, this really didn’t do much for me. Much like last week, you run the risk of the fans thinking Havoc is a joke because of the loss to a guy Sagrada’s size. Nothing much to see here and the announcers barely acknowledged the girl watching from the entrance.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Sexy Star

This is the fallout from a few weeks back when Chavo nailed Star with a chair in a rather violent act. Star looks all ticked off and….shoves him. Chavo shoves her in the face and pulls Star down by the hair like the villain he is. He sends her into the corner before kissing Star, earning him a slap to the face. A nice hurricanrana sends Chavo out to the floor and Star grabs a chair of her own and kicks the referee low when he tries to break it up.

Post match Pentagon Jr. comes out and picks up the chair, seemingly to hit Star. Cue Fenix for the save, likely setting up a tag match.

Big Ryck vs. Prince Puma

Street fight and Ryck has Cortez and Cisco in his corner. Puma says it’s 3-1 but the lackeys head to the floor. He goes right after Ryck with rights and lefts but Ryck just blasts him with forearms. Ryck pulls Puma away from the ropes for a crash but misses a charge into the post. Castro and Cisco are quickly dispatched but something like an F5 is countered into a DDT, sending Ryck out to the floor.

Puma hits a huge dive to take everyone down but Cortez offers a distraction, allowing Ryck to nail a big running clothesline. Cortez is busted open as Ryck kicks Puma in the back over and over. Cisco throws in a trashcan to be wedged into the corner. Puma is whipped back first into the can and a gorilla press drops him face first onto the turnbuckle. The goons come in again and Ryck sits in a chair as they pick Puma apart.

Puma finally backflips out of a double belly to back suplex and takes the lackeys down with a DDT/Downward Spiral. That’s not it though as Puma kicks Ryck out of the chair, leaving Puma to take the kendo stick away from Cortez. A shot to Ryck’s back just gets on his nerves though and he swats away a shot to the head. Puma gets blasted in the face as Cortez and Cisco throw in a ladder.

Ryck adds a table as the goons tie Puma in a Tree of Woe in the ladder. Not that it matters as Johnny Mundo dives off the wall and into the ring for a save. That looked awesome, even though he landed next to Ryck. Mundo throws the ladder onto Cortez and Cisco before spearing Ryck down and hammering away. Johnny grabs a chair but hits Puma by mistake, allowing Cisco and Cortez to hit their flapjack Codebreaker. A release Rock Bottom through the table is enough to end Puma.

Rating: C. Eh I’ve seen better. This was just your standard set of weapons but with Puma fighting in a handicap match instead of anything normal. It’s clear that they’re setting Puma up as a big deal, which is interesting given that you would think Mundo would be the first top star. Not bad here but it just kind of came and went.

Mundo checks on Puma to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This one didn’t do much for me. It was much more about setting stuff up for the future than anything here and while that’s good for down the line, it really doesn’t do much at the present. The street fight was nothing of note and the rest of the matches were just kind of there. A lot of stuff has been set up for the future though and that’s enough to keep me coming back.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

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Lucha Underground – November 19, 2014: Lost In The Masked Shuffle

Lucha Underground
Date: November 19, 2014
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

I’m finally getting caught up on this series and I’m actually glad that I am. The show has been consistently entertaining and making me want to see where the stories go, which is the most important thing you can do while you’re still setting up a series. The big story tonight is Mundo vs. Big Rick, which could be interesting as a power vs. speed match. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Cueto going to war with Mundo and Johnny wanting to fight Big Rick this week.

A live band plays us in, which we really don’t need. Thankfully it’s just some quick shots of them instead of a song.

Sexy Star vs. Ivelisse

Before the match, Star (in Spanish with subtitles) calls Chavo a coward that needs a chair to beat her. She wants revenge on him for hurting both herself and Sagrada and is going to finish the Guerrero dynasty. Ivelisse says that Star got what she deserved for trying to fight with the boys. She gets in Star’s face and thinks she’s hiding an ugly face behind an ugly mask because Star knows Ivelisse is the toughest girl around here. Star slaps her in the face and the brawl is on. Vampiro: “This is anti-Diva!”

Ivelisse takes her down for some right hands but Star grabs a headlock. Looks Divaish to me so far. Star Matrixes under a clothesline and takes Ivelisse down with a hurricanrana. Ivelisse is fine with that and sends Star face first into the middle buckle. The fans are completely behind Star as Striker goes on some tangent about the constellation of lust. Ivelisse slams her face first into the mat before kicking Star backwards with Star’s legs underneath her for a painful looking fall.

We hit a chinlock with a knee in Star’s back with Ivelisse even fish hooking her. Striker: “Kind of hot!” Star comes back with some chops and a Codebreaker to put both girls down. A rollup gets two on Ivelisse but she comes back with a LOUD slap. She chokes Star down and slams the masked head into the mat over and over, only to have Star come back with a cradle for the pin.

Rating: C. I stand by what I’ve said before: Ivelisse could have been a HUGE deal if TNA wasn’t a bunch of nitwits. She’s gorgeous, she can talk and she has a unique style. Insert your own joke about Barbarian’s niece here. Striker drove me insane here again though and I’m sick of hearing his stupid lines over and over again.

Cueto is with Drago, who didn’t win but didn’t lose last week, so Drago gets one more chance tonight.

Pentagon Jr. vs. Fenix

Before the match, Pentagon says no one in Mexico respects him but Cueto is finally giving him a chance. Fenix will be the first example of what happens when you mess with him. Pentagon starts with some kicks to the ribs but gets sunset flipped for two. A standing moonsault gets two for Fenix as they’re flying around very early. We hit a standoff and the fans give them a quick ovation. A headscissors sends Pentagon to the floor and Fenix hits a big cartwheel dive.

Back in and a springboard guillotine legdrop gets two for Fenix so Pentagon kicks him in the face for the same. Fenix climbs the corner and does some unnecessary springboards into a dropkick to put Pentagon down again. More springboards set up an armdrag to send Pentagon outside for a corkscrew dive. Back in and Pentagon jumps over Fenix into a Backstabber (Lung Blower according to Striker. Pest) but Fenix comes right back with a cutter for the same.

A half nelson into a kind of piledriver gets two more for Pentagon but they head outside for a punt to the face from Fenix. Back in again and Pentagon grabs a jumping wrap around neckbreaker for two and a rollup into a mat slam for the same. He takes too much time to get up top though, allowing Fenix to kick him in the head. A top rope C4 is enough to put Pentagon down for two, but we’ll call it a pin despite his shoulder being about a foot and a half off the mat.

Rating: C. The high spots were good here but this was several steps below the previous match. At the end of the day, these really shouldn’t be going eight minutes as they were clearly just doing spots near the end. It’s entertaining, but there really isn’t much substance here. Think of it as the fast food of wrestling.

King Cuerno (El Hijo Del Fantasma) is coming and looks like a vigilante lumberjack.

King Cuerno vs. Drago

Cuerno has a deer head on top of his own head. I don’t mean a picture of one as it’s about two feet off the top of his head. Striker takes another lame shot at WWE, saying you can’t predict everything that’s going to happen here. Cuerno keeps knocking Drago down to start but Drago comes back with an enziguri. A nice dropkick puts Drago down again but he sends Cuerno face first into the middle buckle.

Drago’s headscissors is thrown off and it’s time to look at the commentators again. Drago fires off some of the lamest kicks I’ve seen in a long time before Cuerno just throws the referee down. That’s fine with Drago who uses him as a springboard for a hurricanrana to send the King outside. A big dive puts Cuerno down again but he knocks Drago down with a kick to the head, setting up a big suicide dive of his own. Back in and Drago does a bunch of flips into a nice looking rollup for a surprise pin.

Rating: C+. I liked it better than the previous match but I really wouldn’t have had Cuerno lose here. Drago isn’t bad, but Cuerno looks like he could be a future star. The problem here is this is the same style match we just saw. This one was better, but a lot of the match felt like I saw it about ten minutes earlier.

Prince Puma is working out when Konnan comes in. Konnan tells Puma to stay out of the main event and not save Mundo no matter what happens.

Big Ryck vs. Johnny Mundo

Johnny fires off a kick to the leg to start but a hard shoulder block puts him down. Mundo misses a splash in the corner and Ryck just pounds him down. He throws Johnny across the ring but Mundo flips over and lands on his feet in a nice counter. That’s fine with Ryck who takes Mundo down again and chokes with a boot.

We hit a neck crank on Mundo but he kicks Ryck in the head to escape. Back up and Mundo hammers away in the corner as well before the Moonlight Drive connects for two. There’s the Flying Chuck for two more but we cut to Cisco and Cortez attacking Puma in the back. They quickly hit the ring to break up the End of the World and that’s a DQ.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but it didn’t have time to go anywhere. Puma getting beaten down keeps things a bit mysterious as he might not have come out otherwise. Ryck is a good option as a huge monster, even though he’s about as unpolished of an in ring performer as you’ll find with his experience.

Cortez and Cisco put Mundo through a table to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was still good and entertaining but it was almost all in ring stuff tonight instead of the story advancement. That’s not a bad thing, but when you have a promotion with a good deal of similar guys (so far at least), it can get a bit dull to sit through. This worked well enough though and I like where this place is going so far.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

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Lucha Underground – November 12, 2014: Viva El Nitro Flashback

Lucha Underground
Date: November 12, 2014
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

Off to episode three now as this promotion is actually looking good to start. The main story seems to be Chavo Guerrero as a monster heel, even though he’s 0-1 in singles matches so far. I’m assuming he’s going crazy due to his family’s legacy wearing him down, but it could be that he watched his TNA promos and has been bored out of his mind. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Chavo’s loss on the first show and then him going psycho last week. The other major stories are covered as well.

Konnan is in Cueto’s office and says he’s bringing in three new guys: Fenix, Pentagon Jr. and Drago. Cueto is worried about Konnan’s recent visa issues but Konnan assures him that they’re cleared up. The boss puts those three guys in a triple threat tonight, which pleases Konnan very much.

Blue Demon Jr. is in stable condition at the hospital after last week.

Here’s Cueto to open things up. He’s heard people complaining about a lack of lucha in Lucha Underground. Well tonight he’s going to fix that with this man: El Mariachi Loco. He plays a mean trumpet but he’s crazy as well. Dario discovered him at his favorite Mexican restaurant, and maybe he’ll play a song after his match.

El Mariachi Loco vs. Mascarita Sagrada

Sagrada is one of the most famous mini wrestlers of all time. Mariachi asks for time out as soon as the bell rings before asking for a test of strength. That goes as well as you would expect so Sagrada dropkicks his knee out and hits a spinning headscissors to take over. An armdrag sends Mariachi to the floor, setting up a suicide cannonball. Back in and Sagrada nails a top rope hurricanrana for two.

Mariachi has had enough of this and throws Sagrada down by the ears to take over. He nails Sagrada a few more times and dances a bit before planting Sagrada down. Sagrada avoids a swanton and plants him with a spinning DDT. Back up and he tries another but has to settle for a guillotine into a small package to pin Mariachi.

Rating: D+. Here’s the thing: these matches can be fun and I get that they’re a bigger deal in Mexico, but small wrestlers are comedy guys in America. You can explain the history and tradition all you want, but most fans are going to see them as comedy guys and people who lose to them are going to be jokes. They have to be careful with these things or fans are going to stop caring when these segments come on.

Chavo comes in and destroys Sagrada in a far less violent attack than last week.

Video of Chavo’s path of rage in the last two weeks.

We get a sitdown interview with Chavo, conducted by Vampiro. He thinks Chavo has always been riding on the Guerrero’s coattails. Chavo says he’s been living through his family and for the first time he’s going to do it his own way. Vampiro brings up Chavo tapping out in the first Lucha Underground match. Guerrero says Demon Jr. is only famous for his father and that he’s here to make his own name. He’ll do that however he can and Demon knows that Chavo is better than he is.

After a break, Chavo comes up to see Konnan. Apparently the people in Mexico aren’t happy with what Chavo did to Demon and it’s going to get worse when they find out what happened to Sagrada. Konnan leaves and Catrina comes up to kiss his cheek, saying Muertes is coming for him.

Video on Mil Muertes. He was trapped in the rubble caused by an earthquake in 1985 but the coldness and death comforted him. That day, he changed from Pasquel Mendoza, but now he’s Mil Muertes. That’s certainly a different kind of origin story.

Ricky Mandel vs. Mil Muertes

Mandel sidesteps Muertes to start and fires off some right hands, only to get speared in half. Some chops in the corner allow Catrina to snap Mandel’s throat across the middle rope. Striker enjoys Catrina slapping the mat. Mandel makes a brief comeback but dives into a right hand to the face, setting up a Downward Spiral for the pin. Just a squash.

Cortez and Cisco don’t let Johnny Mundo in to see Cueto. That earns Cisco a superkick and Cortez a ram into the wall, allowing Mundo to get into the boss’ office. He wants Big Rick next week and Cueto seems to be ok with it.

Big Rick takes money from Cueto, who wants Mundo in the hospital next week.

Weekly video on Prince Puma without much new information.

Pentagon Jr. vs. Drago vs. Fenix

Drago is a blue dragon with a cool looking match, Pentagon looks like a combination of Super Calo and La Parka, and Fenix has rooster spikes on his head. One fall to a finish. Pentagon quickly kicks both guys to the floor and dives over the top to knock them down again. Fenix kicks him in the face to stop a charge though, right before he backdrops Drago onto Pentagon.

With both guys on the floor, Fenix busts out Hector Garza’s corkscrew dive to the outside. Back inside, Drago and Fenix both miss some strikes until Drago hits a spinning DDT. Pentagon gets back in but misses a big kick, allowing Fenix to hit a very spinny and flippy armdrag. Drago is still on the ground as Pentagon throws Fenix into the air, allowing Fenix to flip forward into a hurricanrana. Awesome looking spot.

Drago comes back in for a running flip DDT, only to have Pentagon hit a kind of gutwrench piledriver for two. Fenix takes Pentagon down with a Tajiri handspring into a cutter ala Jay Lethal, which I still can’t stand. Everyone is down for a bit until Drago gets caught in a Tree of Woe, allowing Fenix to take Pentagon down in a huge top rope hurricanrana. Fenix counters a rollup but gets caught in a backstabber from Drago.

Pentagon rolls out to the floor for a huge dive from Dragon. Fenix one ups both of them though by climbing onto a very high wall for a VERY HUGE dive to take both guys down. Back in and Fenix charges into the post, setting up a package piledriver from Pentagon to Drago. A reverse hurricanrana from Fenix to Pentagon is enough for the pin.

Rating: B. Take three guys, give them about eight minutes and let them go insane. It wasn’t supposed to be anything technically sound or coherent and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s exciting and the kind of thing that’s going to make the fans want to come back, which is the kind of thing you want when it’s still very early in a series.

In the office, we get an inner monologue from Cueto about how he needs to deal with Mundo. Someone comes in and stands in front of him. Cueto looks at the key around his neck and says he isn’t afraid of anyone, including whoever is in standing there.

Overall Rating: C+. This show gets more like NXT every week and that’s a good thing. We have regular stories that bring in new characters to keep things fresh and a bunch of different stories going on at once. Good episode here and I want to keep going with the series, which is more than I can say about some wrestling I watch anymore.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Lucha Underground – November 5, 2014: Death By 1000 Heels

Lucha Underground
Date: November 5, 2014
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

After a solid debut episode, we actually have a main story going on already. Cueto seems to be the big evil boss who brings in his minions to take out people who are trying to do stuff he doesn’t like. I had a good time with the first episode but I’m assuming a lot of the people here are going to be different as we see more of the roster. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s show.

The three guys (Ricky Reyes, Lil Cholo and Rycklon Stephens) that attacked Mundo and Puma last week are in the ring to open the show. Reyes says his name is Cortez Castro and Cholo is now known as Cisco. Stephens (formerly known as Ezekiel Jackson) says he’s the boss, Big Rick. Mundo charges the ring as Rick bails to the floor, leaving the other two to get beaten up. Cortez and Cisco bail but both grab chairs until Puma runs in for the save. This brings out Dario Cueto to make a tag match. Make your own Teddy Long joke.

Johnny Mundo/Prince Puma vs. Cortez Castro/Cisco

Puma and Castro get things going but it’s quickly off to Cisco, who is quickly taken down by a headscissors. It’s already back to Castro who gets taken into the corner for a tag off to Mundo. A double enziguri drops Castro for two but Mundo misses a running knee to the face and gets rolled up for two. Back to Cisco who gets kicked in the face again for two. Apparently Cisco describes his style as “Prison Shower Style.” I’ll get to Mundo hitting a slingshot elbow for two as fast as I can to get away from that line.

Cortez gets in a cheap shot from the apron before breaking up the Flying Chuck. Cisco gets two off a backsplash as Striker says the team is Cortez and Castro. Cortez gets two off a back elbow as Striker brings up Cortez conquering the Aztecs. Big Rick is smoking a cigar on the steps as Mundo finally rolls away from the double teaming. Puma comes in off the hot tag and cleans house with a running neckbreaker to Cisco, forcing him to DDT his own partner in a spot I hated in (I think) TNA and I hate it here.

Everything breaks down with Mundo missing a dive over the top, allowing Cortez to kick Puma into a neckbreaker from Cisco for two. They load up that 3D into a Codebreaker from last week but Mundo pulls Cortez to the floor. Back in with Puma hitting a cutter, setting up the Moonlight Drive on Cisco for a close two. Puma hits a big flip dive to take out Cortez, followed by stereo 450s to give Mundo and Puma the double pin.

Rating: B-. Good match here but it ran a bit longer than it should. It’s still good stuff here though with all four looking good in what seems to be the top storyline. Cisco and Cortez are fine as lackeys but Big Rick seems to be the real force for Cueto. It was a fast paced tag and they’re setting the groundwork for stuff in the future.

Konnan is in a dark locker room with Puma. He praises the masked man a bit but warns him to stay away from Mundo because that’s not Puma’s fight. Puma has one friend and that’s Konnan. We get the classic wrestling trope of someone speaking Spanish and then immediately translating it into English, due to people who speak Spanish not being able to understand it or something.

Video on Mil Muertes (Thousand Deaths, better known as Ricky Banderas, who was Judas Mesias in TNA and El Mesias in AAA), who is being brought in by Cueto to deal with Blue Demon Jr.

Son of Havoc/Ivelisse vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr./Sexy Star

Striker: “Usually in mixed tags, the men wrestle with the men and the women lucha with the lucha.” The guys get started with Chavo hooking a chinlock less than thirty seconds in. Back up and Chavo pulls Havoc around by the beard as Striker explains Chavo’s lineage in wrestling, like anyone watching this show hasn’t heard of him before. Ivelisse gets in a cheap shot from the apron and Havoc takes over.

Off to Ivelisse for some kicks, including some to the head from the ground, for two. Back to Havoc as Vampiro tries to correct some of Striker’s mistakes and is completely ignored. We finally get the tag off to Star for some revenge from last week. She hammers away for a bit until Havoc drills her in the face with an elbow. Back to Ivelisse to slam Star’s head into the mat before they slug it out.

Ivelisse is in a bit of trouble but just kicks Star in the head to take over again. Havoc comes back in for a standing moonsault which only hits knees. The real hot tag brings in Chavo for a Liger Kick in the corner for two. Everything breaks down with a catfight breaking out, capped off with a running seated senton from Star to crush Ivelisse on the floor. Back in and Chavo hits the Frog Splash on Havoc but lets Star roll him up for the pin.

Rating: C+. Another nice match here as they tie things back to last week’s story. Chavo is a good guy to have around at the start but I’m hoping he isn’t still a fixture later on in the show’s run. He’s another guy that I’ve seen far too many times over the years and I’m just over him. The girls stole the show here though as they’re both clearly very polished.

Blue Demon Jr. is warming up when a girl named Catrina (Maxine from NXT) comes up with a message from Mil Muertes. She touches his lips and says it’s a taste before a thousand deaths. I love little things like her walking in instead of just standing there like you would see on Raw or Impact. It’s so much more natural, despite being a very produced video if that makes sense.

Konnan narrates a video on discovering Prince Puma fighting on the streets.

Blue Demon Jr. vs. Mil Muertes

This is a bit more formal of a debut than I was expecting. Catrina is here with Muertes, who comes out in a huge headdress on his back that looks like something out of Tatanka’s closet. He also has a small bag that he carefully hands off to Catrina. After a quick kiss from Catrina, Muertes jumps Demon to start in a hurry. A loud chop puts Demon down on the floor and they fight over the announcers’ table with Muertes in full control.

Back in and Demon armdrags him down followed by a dropkick. Some chops in the corner have Mil in some trouble but Catrina gets up on the apron. The distraction lets Mil get in a shot and Catrina adds a kick with a heel. Demon comes back with a bulldog for two but Muertes gets two off a Backstabber. We get another shot of the announcers to get on my nerves again. Muertes jumps into a raised boot and gets caught in a DDT for two. Back up and Muertes just spears Demon in half, setting up a Downward Spiral for the pin.

Rating: D+. Demon looked old and slow out there which is already getting annoying. Muertes on the other hand looked like a killer which is all he needed to be. That spear looked more like a Goldberg version by driving Demon back instead of just hitting him and stopping. Why that’s so complicated for so many to figure out is beyond me.

Muertes goes after Demon some more but Chavo comes in with a chair for the save. He blasts Demon with it instead and goes full heel. Some other guys come out but get chair shots as well. Sexy Star comes out and Chavo blasts HER in the head with the chair as Chavo is a bit more evil than I was expecting. Chavo sits in the chair as Demon is taken out on a stretcher. He won’t let Demon be taken out without a few more shots though. The ambulance pulls away to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. That’s a bit lower than last week but I liked this show for different reasons. First of all, they cut down on some of the camera jumps and settled down a bit. I liked the stories being advanced and Ivelisse (who should have been signed by TNA but she wasn’t Barbarian’s niece) and Muertes both being good debuts. Chavo comes off looking evil….but he’s Chavo Guerrero. Yeah he’s smooth in the ring but dear goodness I have trouble caring about him. I like Cueto not being around as much this week to keep him from getting stale. Good show this week as they’re planning for the future.

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Lucha Underground – October 29, 2014 (Debut Episode): They’ve Got ECW on Sci-Fi Beat

Lucha Underground
Date: October 29, 2014
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

This is the debut episode of a new promotion based around, of course, lucha libre. While there have been other promotions like this before, this company has a decent roster of people you’ve actually heard of and has been getting some solid reviews. Naturally I’m two weeks late to get out front of it but when has that stopped me before? Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of people fighting in what looks like an underground fight club. A masked man comes in for an airplane spin and Wasteland before telling someone to come with him. Off to a cave in Mexico, talking about the Aztec Empire and then lucha libre. That’s quite the jump. The owner, Dario Cueto, says he’s opening the doors to let these people come to America. Now a bunch of people are shown walking towards I’d assume the arena, spliced together with clips of matches.

We even have credits like a movie.

The announcers welcome us to the show and oh dear I don’t like these guys already.

Here’s Dario Cueto to address the promotion. This is a temple to honor ancient traditions like honor and violence. Whoever impresses him the most will get a signing bonus of $100,000.

Blue Demon Jr. vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Demon Jr. is a former NWA World Champion and 48 years old. I’m going to assume you know Guerrero. They shake hands to start as Striker goes on some tangent about honor. Chavo takes him down by the arm to start before Demon takes over with a test of strength. A quick run of the ropes ends with Demon “headscissoring” Chavo to the floor (the editing here is decent enough to cover botches) and baseball sliding him down. Back in and Demon hits a loud slap to the jaw as we keep cutting to an overhead camera shot like you’ll see in TLC matches.

Chavo comes out of the corner with a tornado DDT before taking Demon out to the floor. A nice plancha puts the masked man down but he comes back in with a slam. Demon favors his knee and takes forever to get to the top, only to miss a flip dive. Chavo puts him up top for a hurricanrana but Demon blocks (Striker: “Could this be some sort of a hanging triangle choke???”) and plants Chavo with a powerbomb, as anyone who has watched wrestling before and isn’t Matt Striker could have told you. Demon puts on a kind of Sharpshooter/Liontamer hybrid while lifting Chavo’s arm off the mat for the submission.

Rating: D+. The wrestling wasn’t bad but I’m going to get tired of having the camera constantly cutting to the crowd or that overhead shot or the announcers. It’s bad enoughthat I have to listen to Striker but I have to look at him during the matches? This was a decent enough power vs. speed match though and it did its job.

In a scene designed to feel like it’s from an over the top film noir movie, the boss is in his office with Konnan. Cueto thanks Konnan for coming here and Konnan says he’s the toughest guy around. The boss likes the sound of that but he’s brought in a guy named Johnny Mundo who doesn’t respect the business. If Konnan and a guy whose name sounded like Puma can take him out, they’ll split the $100,000. Konnan nods as cheesy music played. This was so totally different than the stuff I have to put up with on Raw that I kind of loved it.

We see Johnny Mundo warming up and it’s John Morrison.

Video on Mundo’s opponent tonight: Prince Puma. His manager Konnan narrates the video, talking about how Aztec luchardoes fought to the death in their day. They would claim the loser’s head, which evolved into the mask being so important. This brings us to Puma himself and we hear some praise from Konnan. Apparently Puma’s spirit animal is a jaguar. That sounds cool if nothing else.

Son of Havoc vs. Sexy Star

Havoc seems to be a masked biker with a long beard, played by Matt Cross. I’ve seen Star in AAA before so I actually have an idea of what’s going on here. She comes out with wings like Melina from Wrestlemania one year which work for entrance attire. We get a package on Star with her talking about how she’s doing this for all the women that don’t want to be afraid anymore.

Back in the arena, Havoc says he isn’t wrestling a woman, so she can lose by countout and live to fight another day. Star heads outside and lets the count go to five before charging back in and jumping Havoc from behind. He easily shoves her down and….does the Tango with her for all I know as the camera is on Striker. Havoc misses a moonsault but plants her down with ease. Star sends him chest first into the buckle and gets two off a high cross body, only to get caught in a backbreaker and pinned with a handful of tights. Short but Star looked good.

Chavo Guerrero is in Cueto’s office where the boss is asking what happened. In the first match in Cueto’s temple, Chavo tapped out. What would his family think if they knew that? Since Chavo couldn’t do it, Cueto will bring in someone else to stop Blue Demon, but once he’s here, no one can stop him.

Johnny Mundo vs. Prince Puma

Puma is indy wrestler Ricochet and has Konnan with him. Feeling out process to start with Mundo nailing a shoulder but Puma nips right back up. They fight over wristlocks with Puma flipping and spinning as Striker tells us to go to the internet to find out about different styles of wrestling. Both guys go down and it’s a double nipup to get us to a standoff. Vampiro says Puma is going to be corrupted by Konnan so I guess he’s heel here?

Puma spins around Mundo with a headscissors before sending him out to the floor. It earns a standing ovation from Vampiro and the fans think it’s awesome. Back in and Mundo hits a quick backbreaker and throws Puma throat first onto the top rope. A spinning kick to the head sends Puma to the floor but Mundo takes his time throwing him back in, allowing Prince to dropkick him down. Puma nails a slingshot splash and hooks a full nelson with the legs. Back up and Puma enziguris him out to the floor.

They head over the announcers’ table with Mundo climbing the table and flipping over Puma, only to send him face first into the post. Back in and we hit the chinlock on Puma but he fights up with another kick to the face. A springboard high cross body gets two on Mundo and a standing shooting star gets the same. They slug it out with Mundo driving him into the corner and hammering away.

Mundo speeds things up with clotheslines and a running knee to the face gets two. The Flying Chuck (Disaster Kick) gets two for Mundo and another running knee gets the same. Puma avoids the End of the World (Starship Pain) and takes Puma down with a springboard double knee to the chest. A springboard 450 misses and Moonlight Drive (the flip neckbreaker) gets two for Mundo. Johnny pops back up and hits a C4 and the End of the World for the pin.

Rating: B. Good main event here where they got to show off some athleticism and give the fans something to come back for. All the flips and dives and such really isn’t my style but this was entertaining stuff. Mundo is a guy that people are going to recognize and it’s a good idea to have him win the first main event.

Mundo raises Puma’s hand but here’s a ticked off Cueto. He says Mundo has earned the money but Cueto slams the case closed. Mundo goes for the money but two guys (indy wrestlers Ricky Reyes and Lil Cholo) come in to beat him down. Mundo fights them off but Ezekiel Jackson comes in to lay out Mundo and Puma. Prince is sent into a 3D into a Codebreaker while Mundo takes a chokeslam. Cueto gets back in and says these guys work for him to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Yeah I liked this, though the rating is on a bit of a softer scale. I’m not sure if it’s enough to keep me coming around every week but I’ll check out the next few episodes. It’s VERY different from mainstream wrestling and that’s a good thing. Cueto is basically Vince with a Spanish accent but I’ve seen far worse. The wrestling was mediocre to good but again it’s different enough to carry the show.

That being said, there’s A LOT to work on. First of all, someone work on shooting Matt Striker. I can’t stand him now, I couldn’t stand him in WWE and I can’t picture ever being able to stand him. He’s that commenter on the internet that thinks he knows more than you because he uses every proper name for everything and it drives me crazy. The constant camera cuts get annoying as well but if they keep it on the ring in some form or another I can live with it. It’s a solid debut and I’ll check out a few more episodes to see where it goes.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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