Stampede Wrestling
Date: December 8, 1979
Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Commentator: Ed Whalen

Stampede Wrestling. This is the epitome of the stomping grounds for a ton of guys. What we have here is Stampede TV from the very late 70s. I have never seen a Stampede show before and I know very little about this company aside from how huge it was in Canada and how a lot, and I mean a LOT, of guys came out of there. Let’s see if it’s as good as it was made out to be. Let’s get to it.

Keith Hart vs. Joe Ventura

I have no idea what the other guy’s name is. This is joined in progress with Whalen, the commentator, talking about French adult films and giving us a wrestling Christmas poem. This is going to be out there isn’t it? This is just past the six minute mark apparently as we get to it. Whalen thinks the referee is lovely. Now we’re talking about how much everyone weighs.

Keith is Bret’s tag partner and they’re tag champions apparently. The titles must be defended in the next two weeks or they’ll be stripped. That lets the announcer talk about us having a possible strip show. I like this guy more or less just being dirty and not trying to hide it. You can hear the hecklers in the crowd pretty clearly. The guy’s name is Joe Ventura apparently.

Apparently Butte, Montana is getting a show soon. Apparently both guys follow the rules. This is a hard style to get into as neither is incredibly interesting. Keith gets the win with an O’Connor Roll to about no reaction. We saw about five minutes out of eleven and a half.

Rating: D+. Based just on what we saw of course. This was a pretty boring match but very old school in its style. Actually considering this is over thirty years old maybe it’s just the time period it’s in. Not a terrible match but Hart was nothing special at all and Ventura was even less interesting. I wasn’t all that impressed.

Post match and post break a fan has a petition to get rid of a crooked referee and has over 60 signatures. Ok then.

Keith says that a month is up in two weeks and Bret is in the middle of a big tour so he might not be able to get back up here for the title match. Keith might hook up with his brother Bruce if he has to compete for forfeited titles. From what I can see the titles did wind up getting forfeited.

The North American Heavyweight Champion (top title in the company) Don Gagne (Frenchy Martin from the late 80s) has a title defense tonight against Sekigawa tonight. Gagne can’t talk incredibly well but he could have been a lot worse.

Bruce Hart vs. Andre Swista

I think that’s how you spell it. It’s Ukrainian so I have no idea how to spell it. This was again joined in progress. Apparently we missed a few minutes of it which is always annoying. The crooked referee is in this match. Andre destroys him for the most part and Bruce hits the floor. Back in and a punch to the ribs gives Bruce control again. Scratch the again aspect as he never was in control in the first place. A knee drop and a clothesline ends this. Nothing match here so no rating.

Post match Bruce talks about how John Foley, the top heel manager, won’t let Bruce have a title shot against the Dynamite Kid for the Middleweight Title. Foley is British apparently and Andre wouldn’t do anything compared to what Dynamite would do. Dynamite says he’s overweight for the title defense so he’s fighting a Japanese guy tonight. Dynamite: “Just because you’re Japanese doesn’t mean you’re good.” PREACH IT BROTHER MAN!

Yong Ki vs. Larry Jones

I wonder if he’s related to Low Ki. This is again joined in progress and Ki is apparently one of Foley’s boys and Jones appears to be a bad cowboy character. Yong has a chinlock on and this isn’t a scheduled match it seems. Ki is Vietnamese which I don’t think I’ve ever heard of. It’s his debut it seems. We take a break….and come back to a different match? What the heck? We saw like a minute of it and now it’s off to a different match. This company is weird man.

LeoBurke/Hubert Gallant vs. Tasumi Oshira/Tommy Stanton

Apparently Ki won the match. Burke is the only guy I’ve ever heard of and is more or less a legend in Stampede. Burke and Gallant seem to have teamed together for awhile as they have solid chemistry. Solid is a stretch probably but I’m too lazy to go back and think of something better. Stanton is in the singlet it seems. We’re fifteen minutes into this apparently. Sweet goodness is it impossible to have a full match shown?

Burke and Gallant are former champions it seems. Oshira hammers away on Gallant as the evildoers are in control. Stanton offers a knee for Oshira to ram Gallant into and gets his own knee hurt as a result. Nice job dude. Bearhug by Stanton which looks like he’s trying to rock Gallant to sleep.

The heels do the knee thing in the corner again and this time it doesn’t result in an injury. A punch finally allows Burke to come in. Really? That’s all it took? A single punch? Burke comes in and beats the tar out of the Japanese guy. A knee drop looks incredibly painful as it collides with the head.

All Burke here as he’s completely dominating. He has an awesome beard too. The referee more or less tells Oshira to come in so Burke beats on him for awhile. Sleeper, Burke’s finisher, goes on but Stanton breaks it up. Gallant botches the heck out of an attempted abdominal stretch and it all breaks down, prompting the announcer to almost sing. Stanton throws Gallant into Oshira to end this with Gallant getting the pin.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match here but seriously this got over 20 minutes in total? This card must have been like three hours long and crammed down into a 45 minute TV broadcast. It’s definitely the best match of the night so far and Burke was fun to see, but this was nothing special at all. Kind of hard hitting though so it has that going for it.

Burke and Gallant say they’d love to get a title shot but at Keith and Bret, not in a tournament.

Dynamite Kid vs. Hiroshi Yagi

Hiroshi is overweight for the Middleweight Title so this is non-title. We’re, say it with me, joined in progress after 15 minutes it seems. Yagi gets two on a small package. The fans boo the count. Dynamite looks awesome. Camel clutch goes on Yagi, giving us one of the funniest faces I’ve ever seen from Dynamite. He looks like he’s not sure if he should be happy or not about this and it’s rather comical.

The hands aren’t locked around the face on the hold so it’s not entirely effective. The camera angles need to go up a bit more as they seem to be tilted down. Yagi takes over and hits a flying headbutt to take Dynamite down. He may want to call that the Flying Strike of Irony. Dynamite gets a butterfly suplex for one.

Yagi goes all Japanese on Dynamite with kicks and martial arts. I guess those stereotypes extend up into Canada too. Indian Deathlock goes on and I don’t feel like making the nationality joke. We hit twenty minutes with both guys on the mat. Dynamite takes over and you would think we were watching in fast forward. Dynamite gets up on the second rope and gets kicked to the floor in a nice bump. Yagi gets a dive to the floor and it’s a double countout.

Rating: C-. Pretty much a boring match until the very ending there. Dynamite turned it on in the end there and it got rather entertaining. Yagi isn’t bad but he was a bit too slow for my tastes. Granted it might be better if we saw him fresh instead of fifteen minutes in, but who knows.

Yagi says he’ll lose five pounds and challenge for the title.

John Foley says that should have been a DQ and a no contest. Dynamite says Yagi is ten pounds overweight so there’s no title shot.

North American Heavyweight Title: Mr. Sekigawa vs. Don Gagne

No DQ here and naturally it’s joined in progress. We’re only five minutes in here though. Gagne is champions. This is more of a brawl than a match. Sekigawa is dominating here with basic power stuff. Middle rope splash gets no count on a cover. Gagne takes a bandage off the wrist of Sekigawa and starts hammering away. I think he’s face here but I really have no idea.

Big knee and legdrop get two. Neckbreaker is one of the first wrestling moves I’ve seen all night long. The audio is getting really annoying with how much you can hear from the audience. Sekigawa fights back with shots to the neck and face. We take a break to more brawling. Back with….Stu Hart. The match was thrown out despite being No DQ during the break. Well of course it was. No rating due to the lack of a start and the lack of a finish.

Hart says he wants to have a rematch with full rules and Leo Burke, who is also in the ring, to be the referee. Burke says he’ll do it and the title is held up otherwise.

Whalen closes us out and seems like he needs the FBI watching him.

Overall Rating: D. WOW. This was one of the weirdest shows I’ve ever seen. We didn’t get a complete match for the entire show and what we saw was rather bad. Dynamite is by far the highlight of the show since Bret wasn’t there. This is a completely different style of wrestling and I’m not sure it’s incredibly entertaining. It would become a breeding ground for awesome later on though so maybe this was just a bad week. Not a good show but I’m kind of intrigued so that’s good I guess.

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Big Time Wrestling
Date: 1978
Location: Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Chuck Allen, Mark Lewin

This is a rare occasion where I’m totally lost. Big Time Wrestling was a territory that ran for decades in Detroit and was the home promotion of The Sheik (Original, not Iron) and Bobo Brazil. The video I found of this lists it as being from the 60s but it looks a lot newer than that, perhaps into the mid to late 1970s. I honestly have no idea what to expect here which could mean anything. Let’s get to it.

Austin Idol is listed as being on the show and the latest debut date I can find for him is 1972.

Big Red/Jim Widell vs. Fabulous Kangaroos

Oh now this is really interesting. The Fabulous Kangaroos are the most famous tag team that you’ve probably never heard of. They’re a team which over time has consisted of about five guys who teamed on and off with the gimmick for about twenty five years. The most famous pairing is Al Costello and Roy Heffernan but today we’ve got Costello and Bobby (also called Johnny in other promotions) who was billed as Roy’s cousin.

Their gimmick is that they’re VERY Australian with boomerangs and bush hats and any other stereotype you can think of. They held so many titles that I can’t list them all and were often billed as champions on arrival, which became almost a running bit with them. The originals were pioneers of tag team wrestling but by this point they’re a fairly established name. Did I mention I’ve wanted to cover these guys for awhile? I have no idea who their opponents are but Red is a fat guy with an afro and a big beard.

The Kangaroos have a midair arm wrestling match to determine who gets things going with Heffernan starting against Widell. They head to the mat with some nice technical stuff including Heffernan spinning out of a headscissors. Off to Costello for some right hands before Heffernan comes in again for some stomps. The Kangaroos appear to be heels here which doesn’t feel right for some reason. We get a phone number to call to bring Big Time Wrestling to our town with the contact being listed as Pat O’Connor. I’d be surprised if it was the famous O’Connor but it’s hard to tell with stuff like this.

Heffernan cranks on the arms before hooking a hammerlock. Back to Costello for an ax handle to the face and some right hands. Big Red tries to come in off a blind tag but the actual tag is a few seconds later. How could I have thought Red and Widell were heels? Red is a big fat jolly dancing man. How could that not be a good guy?

Heffernan tries a slam on the 350lb Red which works as well as you would expect. Red goes after the arm and hooks a hammerlock before asking Costello to come in. The big man gets double teamed in the corner but he waddles over to Widell for a tag but the Kangaroos hit the Boomerang (catapult into a backdrop followed by an elbow) for the pin.

Rating: D+. Other than the dancing fat guy, there wasn’t much to this. The Kangaroos didn’t do much for me, though to be fair they were past their primes at this point. This was really just a basic tag match and the finisher came out of nowhere while not looking very good either. Not a terrible match but nothing memorable at all.

Red cleans house post match because he’s a sore loser.

Abdullah the Butcher vs. John Irish

This is joined in progress and the jobber isn’t even given a name until after the match. Not that it matters as Butcher runs him over and drops an elbow for the pin in maybe 30 seconds shown.

Post match Abdullah chokes away until the referee tries to break it up. That goes nowhere so commentator and wrestler Mark Lewin gets up from commentary and makes the real save with no violence.

Billy Bird vs. The Sheik

Sheik has apparently turned face after being a legendary heel in this territory. For those of you unfamiliar, Sheik is basically the father of hardcore wrestling in America and is the real life uncle of Sabu. Sheik bites away on the ropes to start but is cheered anyway. Bird is thrown to the floor and rammed face first into the buckle a few times before the camel clutch gives Sheik a very fast win.

Austin Idol vs. Steve Cooper

Idol is a newcomer and your usual self-obsessed heel. He would feud with Lawler in Memphis for the better part of ever. A slam gets two on Cooper and Idol shouts down that he could do this to Lewin as well. Cooper is thrown down onto the announcers’ table before coming back in for the Rack (not the Torture variety but rather Idol driving his knuckle into Cooper’s temple) and the submission.

Dory Funk Jr./Pierre LaFiv vs. Kurt Von Hess/Bulldog Don Kent

I’m sure you know of Funk. Kent was another of the Fabulous Kangaroos at times but here’s he’s just a heel. We do however get a clue as to the date here as Lewin says Dory Funk Sr. has two sons who won the NWA World Title, meaning this is sometime after December 10, 1975. Dory throws the plump Kent down before countering a clothesline into an armbar in a cool looking move. Off to LaFiv for an armbar before the German Von Hess comes in and is easily armdragged down.

Back to Dory for a headlock of his own before getting caught in a top wristlock. Hess gets forearmed into the corner and it’s off to Bulldog for more armbars. The good guys user both use headlocks on Kent with LaFiv taking him to the mat for a bit. Off to Von Hess for some arm work on Pierre as we get into what would be called the heat segment today. Dory is drawn into the ring, allowing for some heel double teaming and a chinlock from Kent.

We get the same sequence of the heels drawing Dory in so Pierre can be sent to the floor. The heels stay on LaFiv but he finally rolls away and makes the hot tag off to Funk who cleans house. A butterfly suplex puts Von Hess down and there are some forearms for the Bulldog. Dory misses an elbow and gets punched down, only to grab a small package on Kurt for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: C+. Nice match here with Dory being the most interesting thing out there. I know it’s a cliché, but guys like him could just go back in the day. LaFiv was nothing special and Kent was overweight, but Von Hess looked good and was a strong foreign heel character. Good little match here.

Post match Funk gets beaten down and busted open until Terry Funk makes the save. A fan has to give up his t-shirt to wrap around Dory’s head. Some first aid. Kent and Austin Idol come back out to try another fight but the Funks stare them down.

Garth Vader vs. Stan Stasiak

Yes serious, Garth Vader and he wears a mask with stars on it. Stasiak is a former WWF Champion. He pounds away on Vader with his taped up hand (for his Heart Punch) before putting on a nerve hold. One good thing here: Terry Funk is called a former NWA World Champion so this is sometime after February 6, 1977.

Stasiak pounds away on the chest before throwing him out to the floor. Back in and Stasiak fires off more right hands before letting Vader get back up. They box for a bit before Stasiak takes it to the floor and throws Vader at the announce table. Cue Sheik to throw a garbage can at Stasiak, only to have Stan hit a quick Heart Punch for the pin on Garth.

Rating: D. This was rather dull but seriously….HIS NAME WAS GARTH VADER??? I haven’t seen much of Stasiak but given that his biggest claim to fame is a nine day world title reign, there isn’t much to see of him on top of the world. Still though, I can’t get over the name Garth Vader. I think it’s safe to say this is after Star Wars came out.

Sheik chases off Stasiak post match. Stasiak says after he gets done with Sheik, he’s coming for Lewin. Why isn’t Lewin the top guy in the company as apparently everyone wants to kill him. Sheik pounds on him with a card table but Stasiak won’t get in the ring with him. They’re still chasing each other as the fans want Sheik to take Stasiak apart. Sheik finally gets in a table shot and pounds away on Stasiak, even hitting him with his own Heart Punch. Sheik leaves and Stasiak goes over to the announce table saying he was still up but everyone else goes down when Stasiak hits him. Stasiak talks trash to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. As much trouble as I had figuring out where this was, there wasn’t a lot of bad stuff on here. This is actually a stacked show with a ton of big names and a (for the time) insane three former world champions on the same card. It’s not something I’d watch week to week but still this worked out well enough. Good show here.

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Continental Wrestling Federation TV
Date: October 22, 1988
Location: Montgomery Civic Center, Montgomery, Alabama
Commentators: Charlie Platt, Dutch Mantel

This is the last episode I have of this show and THANK GOODNESS FOR THAT. I can’t take much more of this horrible and boring show. The company isn’t remembered at all and like I said, there’s a reason for that: it’s not interesting at all. No one has anything resembling a personality and the champion is lucky to be on TV 15 seconds a week. Let’s get to it.

The champ is actually wrestling tonight. I’m shocked. Oh great: the Party Patrol is here AGAIN.

Bullet talks about his issues as of late. We get a clip of last week with Bullet saving the Rich’s (they’re the Party Patrol if anyone is getting lost) from a beatdown by the tag champions last week. Brad Armstrong will be here before the end of the night. As Bullet leaves a guy in a hat with long hair but his face covered up jumps Bullet. And it’s Tony Anthony, the Dirty White Boy. Stubbs comes in too and it’s a big beatdown. The Rich’s make the save. This is still boring but it’s BY FAR the most developed and interesting angle in this company at the moment.

House show ads. What else did you expect?

Tom Pritchard vs. The Invader

Ok this is weird. Either this is in a different arena or they really don’t know how to do lighting, because the arena is full of people in one shot and in the next you can only see about three rows. Invader is just a guy in a mask. Pritchard is heavyweight champion. Now you can see like 15 rows full of people. This is a very oddly designed building. Mantel says Bullet has a bad shoulder injury. Invader hammers away but walks into a backdrop. Pritchard punches him down and drops an elbow for one. Off to a chinlock and then a middle rope cross body gets two. Enziguri gets the pin for the champ.

Rating: D. Mantel says this is a confidence builder for Pritchard. He’s the heavyweight champion. Why would he need a confidence builder? For a face champion, Pritchard certainly does have problems beating what appear to be just basic heel opponents. The lack of a feud for him isn’t making me interested in the title, especially when the Dirty White Boy vs. Bullet is clearly the top feud in the company.

Second batch of ads.

CWF Heavyweight Championship Tournament Final: Tom Pritchard vs. Dirty White Boy

This is from Birmingham and is the tournament final. Why we’re seeing this after knowing who won is beyond me but whatever. It’s joined in progress and Pritchard is on commentary for it. Neckbreaker gets two for White Boy. All White Boy at this point. Ron Fuller, a big shot in this area, is guest referee.

Pritchard starts a comeback with punches but walks into an atomic drop. This is apparently 25 minutes in and their third match each of the night. Anthony misses something off the top and Stubbs tries to interfere, only for Fuller to take care of him. Someone runs in and drills Anthony during the distraction for the pin. Well that was pretty heelish. Not enough to rate but what we saw was bad.

Party Patrol vs. The Count/The Grappler #2

Please….make it short. Davey and Grappler start things off and Davey uses that wide variety of arm drags of his. Arm work abounds and it’s on the right arm which is rather odd. The Rich’s are in the national top ten rankings of tag teams. I want to see these rankings. Then I want to slap whoever writes them. Off to Johnny and the Rich’s control with their usual boring stuff.

The camera cuts to just a shot of their feet as Grappler gets a suplex to take over. Count misses a middle rope elbow and it’s off to Johnny again. Or is that Davey? Actually who freaking cares? Headknocker takes Count (another masked guy) down and things break down a bit. Grappler is gone and Johnny suplexes Count. Off to Davey and they botch a Thesz Press for the pin.

Rating: F. I hate these guys. That is all.

House shows.

Willie B. Hert vs. Chuck Allen

Allen is a blonde dude and Hert is the same annoying dancing man that he’s always been. Willie grabs the arm and the announcers make fun of Allen for being fat. And apparently the director got bored with the match as we cut to a promo from Ron Fuller. The match continues to be boring as Fuller talks about how he’ll keep his title. The promo has nothing to do with this match but I’d rather hear Fuller talk than watch it so there you go. Hert is destroying him anyway. Suplex puts Allen down and pounds away. Allen rakes his eyes and that’s all of his offense. Neckbreaker and headbutt end this.

Rating: D-. When the TV show doesn’t want to watch the match on it, I think you should probably know how good things are. This was just an extended squash by what I presume is supposed to be a fun character in Hert. He never really does anything serious so what else would he be classified as?

Mr. Martin is here with his new protege. It’s….MASAHIRO CHONO??? Martin challenges Lord Humongous (Sid Vicious) to a loser leaves town match against Kokina (Yokozuna). I’m pretty sure Sid lost so he could go to the NWA.

Mr. Chono vs. The Equalizer

Allegedly this is Chono’s American debut. That’s certainly Masahiro Chono. Equalizer is another masked dude. I believe we’re clipped to Chono dominating. A backbreaker gets two as he pulls Equalizer up. He slaps him down in the corner and hooks an abdominal stretch. Equalizer gets in some basic shots and Chono is like I DON’T THINK SO IN JAPANESE! Owen Hart style spinwheel kick puts Equalizer down and a Cobra Clutch ends this. Total squash but what a random thing to see here.

House show ads. New idea there.

Ken Wayne says he’s Danny Davis’ worst nightmare. He won the title back from Davis at the Road to Birmingham so here’s a clip of it. It’s also hair vs. hair but since it’s clipped I won’t bother listing it as a full match. Clipped to Danny GUSHING blood. Top rope legdrop hits for Wayne and we’re told this is 30 minutes in. Wayne for to pin him but Davis rolls him up very quickly for the surprise pin. Post match Wayne hit him with a Coke bottle and cut Davis’ hair anyway.

Bullet is back with his arm in a sling. Stubbs tries to jump him but Bullet beats him down anyway. Anthony pops up and they work over Bullet’s arm again. Brad Armstrong makes the save. Willie B. Hert comes out also and he and Brad say they won’t let this happen to Bullet again.

Overall Rating: D. Better show but that’s probably due to the show featuring a lot of stuff that wasn’t from this week. The Bullet storyline wasn’t horrible but it was all they had going for it. Chono was a very surprising appearance but it was just in a squash and he would be back in Japan pretty soon. Probably the best of the four shows but that’s not saying much.

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Continental Wrestling Federation TV
Date: October 8, 1988
Location: Civic Center, Montgomery, Alabama
Commentators: Charlie Platt, Dutch Mantell

Back again with the second of four straight weeks of TV that I have here. We’re done with the Road to Birmingham now so it should be interesting to see where things go. Gilbert is gone, Pritchard is the champion, the tag titles didn’t change hands, and other than that there isn’t much else I can think of. Let’s get to it.

A masked guy is gunning for the Dirty White Boy. No name is given for him.

This is the “Showing of the Stars”, whatever that means. The voiceover lists off some of the people in action tonight.

Private Powell vs. Davey Rich

Well at least it’s not Davey Richards. He’s part of the Party Patrol you would hear about in the previous week’s show. The ring is small, like a WCW one. Rich takes over with a headscissors and a headlock. He works the arm which goes on for awhile. I think they botch a flip of some sort as I think Powell was supposed to use a monkey flip kind of thing but Rich jumped and crotched himself. Back to the arm and this is REALLY dull. Rich is in Hogan colors. They botch a sunset flip out of the corner and Rich gets the pin.

Rating: F. So they spent five minutes working on the arm and botching half of the moves they were trying? This was awful and there was nothing redeeming at all, even imaging Hogan being a member of the Party Patrol. Nothing to see here and not a good sign for the rest of the show.

The Bullet (Bob Armstrong in a mask, the guy that opened the show) is here but first let’s hear about those house shows. Bullet says that there are a lot of people here with talent and that’s about it. Dirty White Boy comes out to call him out and the match is next.

The Bullet vs. Dirty White Boy

They immediately slug it out and apparently this is a big feud. The White Boy (also known as Tony Anthony. Isn’t that a little redundant?) hammers away to take over. This is more of a brawl than a match, but with the names in there, were you expecting anything else? Off to a chinlock by Anthony. Make that a LONG chinlock which gets two arm drops. Bullet hits a clothesline and starts his comeback. There’s a whip brought in from somewhere and the match is thrown out.

Rating: D-. This was only somewhat better but it’s mostly punching and chinlocks. Oh before I forget: Anthony was in WWF for awhile as T.L. Hopper if you remember him. Bullet is Road Dogg’s dad and that’s about the extent of his fame. Not much of a match and I’m assuming the history of this is a lot more interesting.

Post match Jerry Stubbs and the Dirty White Girl (seriously) comes in for a beatdown. The Party Patrol makes the save.

Since this is an old TV show, we get part of a commercial. This commercial features ERNEST P. WORRELL!!!!!! He’s from Lexington so he’s kind of a local hero.

The announcers talk about how the Rich Cousins (Party Patrol) are awesome. If you don’t believe us, here’s a taped match with them in it.

Pat Rose/Deuce Mason vs. Davey Rich/Johnny Rich

Johnny vs. Rose gets us going. Off to Deuce and this is looking like a total squash. Yep a shoulder block (seriously?) ends this in like 40 seconds.

Ken Wayne is here on commentary for the next match. He’s the US Junior Heavyweight Champion again.

Tom Pritchard vs. The Grappler II

This is after the Road to Birmingham tournament which Pritchard won but there’s no reference or title to be seen. He references having his hair and having a new car so this is after the Birmingham show. Grappler is a guy in a mask and the original was a huge deal in Portland. Ok so Pritchard is officially Heavyweight Champion. My guess is this was taped before the Birmingham show with commentary added later. Very basic match and we talk about the Night of Champions coming up. Pritchard controls with a headlock….and that’s enough of that.

We cut to the back where White Boy and Stubbs (the new tag champions which wasn’t mentioned when they were in the ring) talking about Bullet and the Rich Cousins. They switch to an inset window and Pritchard keeps the headlock the whole time. Grappler finally hits a suplex to take over and we talk about an elimination tag match coming up. They’re not exactly Survivor Series matches and the rules are too complex to figure out. Jerry Stubbs is called Mr. Perfect here. That gimmick was either about to start in WWF or already had.

Grappler hooks something resembling a chinlock but it’s more like a nerve hold. Pritchard makes the comeback and Wayne complains about everything he does. I guess this is to build up to a match between them. Pritchard hits a spin kick to the ribs and makes his real comeback. Grappler slams him and drops a leg for two. Pritchard hooks a backslide but the time limit runs out at two. The new heavyweight champion just wrestled to a draw in his first match as champion. WOW.

Rating: D. Honestly when this match was going on for awhile, I jokingly thought to myself that they would go to a draw in the first match in Pritchard’s reign, but then chuckled and said there’s no way they would do that. AND THEN THEY DID IT. The match was nothing special, but I don’t get the booking here in the slightest.

Big brawl post match. Wayne offers to let the announcer touch his hair before he goes.

White Lightning (this company borders on racial issues with these white themed names) talks about the elimination matches they mentioned earlier. We get an old match of Horner’s and the announcer tells us he wins. Well thanks for the drama.

Tim Horner vs. Private Powell

Did the world really demand two Private Powell matches? Bullett is on commentary. Powell takes over to start but walks into an atomic drop and bridging O’Connor Roll for the pin. Lasted maybe 90 seconds.

Willie B. Hert vs. The Counteract

Willie is your standard happy dancing black character. Count is in an executioner hood and I don’t see this going long. Willie beats him up and sends him to the floor. Instead of following up, it’s a dance party. Willie works on the arm and the crowd is DEAD. A suplex gets two. There’s a forearm and it’s finally done. That was like six or seven minutes lone somehow.

Rating: D-. Does this company get paid by the arm work? They seem to LOVE that kind of stuff and it wasn’t anything to see here. Hert isn’t interesting but is supposed to be a fun character I’d assume. Nothing to see here but that’s to be expected in this company it would seem.

Willie talks about Night of Champions but some blonde guy comes up and yells at him. He’s a champion of some sort. Oh that’s Wayne….again. They get in the ring and their match is next time.

Overall Rating: D+. It was a very different show this week but more boring. There was no real focus of the show and it seemed like they were all over the place. Pritchard vs. Grappler is long and that’s about all it had going for it. Not much here, but lucky me I get to do two more weeks of it. Anyway, not much to see here but at least it’s a pretty short TV show.

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CWA Championship Wrestling
Date: November 11, 1978
Location: WMC-TV Studios, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Lance Russell, Dave Brown

Back to Memphis in the 70s which means it’s Jerry Lawler time. These territories are almost impossible to keep track of as TV isn’t always easy to find making records a bit difficult to keep. There’s almost no way to tell what’s going on at the moment so I’ll be as surprised as you are going into this. Let’s get to it.

The announcers run down the card for the day as is their custom.

Wayne Ferris/Jimmy Valiant vs. Danny Davis/Sammy Holt

Valiant, by far the biggest star in the match at this point, sends Davis (the Nightmare, not the referee) into the corner to start. The much larger Valiant throws Davis around and pokes him in the eye before slamming him down for two. Ferris comes in, gets in a single shot, and brings Valiant back in for a slam.

Back to Ferris for a knee lift before it’s right back to Jimmy again. Ferris comes back in almost immediately as the tags continue. Wayne misses an elbow drop and it’s finally off to Holt for some right hands. The hot tag (I think) brings in Jimmy for an elbow to the face and an elbow drop for the pin. For those of you unfamiliar, Ferris is more famous as the Honky Tonk Man.

Post match Valiant says he’s into the music business now and thinks Burt Reynolds slipped him drugs because he can’t sleep. He also sold out Madison Square Garden with Bob Seger and tells his girls to not jump around too much. We get a clip of said concert with Jimmy coming out to sing. No sign of Seger himself anywhere. Jimmy sings a song called the Ballad of Handsome Jimmy, which actually was a minor hit in the Memphis market.

Jerry Lawler and Bill Dundee come out to congratulate Valiant on his success with Dundee suggesting a concert along with Lawler. Valiant likes the idea of having Jerry playing some hillbilly music before Valiant would come out and rock like Meat Loaf. Jerry leaves and Dundee has a petition to get a woman named Heather a match against a man to be named later. Apparently Heather recently beat a wrestling bear.

It’s time for another tag match but first the heel manager named Chuck Malone yells about Lawler trying to get a girl a match against a man, only to sign the petition anyway. Ok then.

Bounty Hunters vs. Robert Gibson/Jackie Welch

Before the match, Lawler comes out and says that the petition Chuck signed is actually a contract, meaning it’s Malone vs. Heather. The Bounty Hunters are cowboy heels from Arizona and I’m sure you know who Gibson is. Malone is required to be sitting in a chair for some reason. David Novak of the Hunters starts with Gibson and it’s very strange to see Robert in a singlet.

Novak blocks an armdrag attempt and drops an elbow before laying out Gibson with a knee to the head. Off to Welch who has about the same luck against David. Tag off to Jerry Novak so at least we know both of their names. Welch is thrown to the floor but Jerry punches him off the apron to be an evil jerk. Gibson comes in sans tag but the distraction allows Malone to piledrive Welch on the floor for the countout.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much to see other than Robert Gibson before he was the lesser half of a famous tag team. The Hunters weren’t anything special as they were just standard big heels, probably set up to be fed to Lawler and Dundee down the line. Nothing special here but it wasn’t terrible.

Post match Malone and the Hunters destroy Gibson until Lawler and Dundee make the save.

Malone doesn’t want to fight Heather (last name Feather) but if he doesn’t, he’s out of the territory.

Lawler and Dundee, who are the tag team champions and recently beat the Bounty Hunters to take the belts, have agreed to give the Bounty Hunters a rematch if Malone will put up his hair. Jimmy Valiant comes up to suggest a six man tag against Malone and the Hunters but Dundee says let’s wait until after the title match so Malone can lose his hair. Valiant says he’ll take Malone’s hair out in a six man tag so it’s no worries.

Lawler says no as well so Valiant calls Jerry jealous and Dundee short (which he is). Jerry compliments Valiant’s music and says thanks but no thanks. Jimmy thinks Lawler is jealous because Valiant is the big star here instead of Lawler. Dundee is looking annoyed and Jerry calls Valiant a preliminary wrestler.

Now Valiant thinks Lawler is jealous of everything so Jerry drops some gay slurs about Valiant and says he’s been bumming rides with Dundee and Lawler instead of getting his own car. Ferris and someone else come out and Lawler says that Valiant has Ferris’ mind warped so much that he looks like a *gay slur edited* as well. Lawler smacks Valiant and security drags them off. Solid heel turn here with Lawler acting like a manly hero before political correctness was a thing (not saying what Lawler said was ok mind you. It was a very different time).

Terry Sawyer apologizes to Tommy Gilbert over something not important enough to mention.

Don Fargo/Bill Dromo vs. Tommy Gilbert/Terry Sawyer

Gilbert is taken down by Fargo to start but Tommy fights up into a standoff. Off to Tromo for a front facelock on Gilbert before it’s off to Sawyer, who apparently wrestled in the Olympics. Back to Fargo who is easily taken down to the mat so it’s back to Dromo who takes Sawyer down just as easily. Things break down for a few seconds but the referee is too worried about right hands from Fargo. Gilbert gets caught in the heel corner but Sawyer comes in for another save as things break down again.

Gilbert catches Dromo in a reverse chinlock but Bill lifts him up and into the Fargo corner. Jerry Jarrett, the actual owner of the company (and one of the most brilliant minds in wrestling history) in a RARE on screen appearance, comes to the commentary boot and says he’s fined Lawler and Valiant $500 each. Dromo rolls up Gilbert for two as Sawyer is refusing to tag out. Gilbert dropkicks Fargo down but Sawyer walks down the apron again. Tommy tries to fight off both guys but stops to go after Sawyer, allowing Dromo to elbow Gilbert for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was much more of an angle than a match but the match part of it didn’t work at all. It was a big mess with none of the four guys looking like anything special out there. I had a hard enough time telling them apart as they all looked about the same over than Dromo who had writing on his trunks.

Koko Ware vs. Steve Brody

Before Koko grew a B. I think we have a face vs. face match here as they shake hands before the bell. A quick rollup gets two on Steve so he cranks on the arm a bit. Koko gets to the ropes and hooks a headlock as this is still in first gear. They apparently don’t know much about changing gears as Koko hits three straight dropkicks for the pin. Quick match.

Jerry Lawler apologizes to the fans for what happened but not to Valiant.

Pat Kelly/Mike Kelly vs. Bill Dundee/Jerry Lawler

We have about two and a half minutes to go in the show. Mike starts with Dundee and it’s the Superstar (Dundee) taking him down before bringing in Lawler. Jerry takes him down with a quick headlock and it’s off to Pat. Lawler gets caught in a headlock but grabs one of his own as the time runs out.

The announcers quickly wrap things up to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a show where knowing the stories and characters would have helped a lot. Lawler vs. Valiant would have been a BIG feud so this is definitely the start of something important. Malone seems to be a decent heel manager and the match against the girl would probably have drawn a nice crowd. There were a few too many tag matches here but it wasn’t too bad for the most part.

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It is exactly what it sounds like.

And there’s a rematch!

It’s somehow even worse than when Lawler dressed up as Super http://topmednorx.com King to stare down Batman (played by Adam West himself) in Memphis. Wrestling is weird.

AWF Warriors of Wrestling
Date: September 21, 1995
Location: Studio City, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Mick Karch, Terry Taylor

Now here’s one I’d bet that most of you have never heard of. This is from the mid-90s and it’s an attempt at making a third national promotion. Their big stars: Bob Orton, Tito Santana, Greg Valentine. The twist is that it’s based on European rules, meaning there non-title matches consist of three four minute rounds. Title matches are twelve four minute rounds. That’s quite a jump isn’t it? There’s a judging aspect too if the time runs out. Anyway, this show was basically a compilation of shows taped the previous year. There are 18 episodes in total and I plan on doing a total of this one only. Let’s get to it.

Sgt. Slaughter opens us up and says we should choose the AWF.

The opening video features guys like Koko B. Ware and the Warlord, plus A LOT of Slaughter. Oh geez Nailz is here.

They have red white and blue ropes ala the old WWF.

Tony Atlas is on the show too. Oh what have I gotten myself into?

Tito Santana vs. Ultimate Destroyer

Destroyer is an average sized guy in a silver mask with a white t-shirt under a gray striped singlet. I’d hate to see the standard model Destroyer. Actually scratch that as the Destroyer was awesome. Tito comes out to generic rock music. The production values aren’t awful but they’re nothing great. Terry runs down the rules, but with the following exchange beforehand. Mick: “Tell us about the rules in case we’re not clear here Terry.” Terry: “I’d be glad to Mick and I’ll do it like turtle soup: I’ll make it snappy.” This show is 45 minutes long not counting commercials and I’m about to cry after 3.

A few more rules: touching the referee or throwing your opponent over the top is an automatic DQ. Also the referee has final judgment. The rules are simple enough. Destroyer takes him to the mat but Tito sits out and it’s a standoff. Tito takes him to the mat now and we get a rope break. Destroyer breaks out with an elbow to the face but Tito hooks an armdrag (called an aerial wingover by Terry for some reason) and an armbar.

Destroyer pops out with a headbut but walks into an atomic drop which sends Destroyer over the top. That’s not a DQ though because it wasn’t intentional. I’m having WCW flashbacks now. This isn’t helping my issues with the match so far. Tito works on another armbar but Destroyer sends him into the buckle and misses a splash. Tito dropkicks him down and that’s the end of round 1.

We stop for a minute between rounds and Destroyer wants more time. That’s about the extent of his heel tactics so far. Oh wait he rakes Tito’s eyes. That’s the ticket! Tito comes back but gets draped over the top rope. That gets Destroyer nowhere and Tito slams him a few times. Flying Burrito (forearm) gets the pin.

Rating: D. This was a really bad choice for the opener. Flash back with me to 1987 and the first Survivor Series. The first match ever in the history of the Survivor Series was Team Savage vs. Team Honky Tonk and the final score before the end was 5-3. In that match we saw regular pins, a double countout, and a 3-1 beating. In other words, we got a great taste of what could happen with this concept. This match here on the TV show basically showed us that Tito could beat up Ultimate Destroyer, stop for a minute, then beat him up some more. Horrible choice for an opener.

Tito says this is about wrestling. He shakes his head a lot for some reason during the promo.

Billy Joe Eaton vs. Greg Valentine

Valentine has a manager named Rico Suave who is fat and mostly bald. Terry is the heel commentator I think. Billy works on the arm a bit but gets clotheslined down. Valentine works on the ribs a bit and Chris Adams pops up saying he’s in the AWF too. Eaton gets some shoulders into the ribs in the corner but Valentine takes him back down with ease. Elbow drop and Figure Four end the squash.

Sonny Rodgers vs. Tony Atlas

Rodgers jumps on Atlas to start and hits a double ax off the middle rope to put Atlas down. A few shots to the head put Atlas in trouble but Rodgers bounces off of him. Rodgers gets knocked to the floor and this show needs to end. Now. Put on a Matlock rerun or something, but get this show off the air. Sonny pokes him in the eye and dropkicks Atlas down for two with a power kickout.

Atlas Hulks Up (allegedly that was his push to have if not for Hogan) and destroys Sonny for a bit before hooking the bearhug…and the round runs out a big later. You know, BECAUSE WE NEED THIS TO CONTINUE! Johnny Gunn pops up to say that he’s here too and debuts next week. He’s Tom Brandi if you remember him. Gorilla press and splash finally end this.

Rating: D-. So far the only thing I can tell that the rounds add is making these boring matches last about a minute longer. There was nothing here for the most part with neither guy being interesting at all. The announcers were ripping on Sonny for poking eyes too much. This was really dull, much like the rest of this show.

The president of the company (and legit owner) explains the rules (apparently you have until TEN to break something. Either that or he misspoke) again. He promises touring is coming.

Rick Thunder vs. Nails

Oh geez it’s this guy. They even changed his name to the regular spelling. The idea here is that Nails doesn’t follow rules, making him probably the top heel in the company. He chokes Thunder in the corner a lot and we head to the floor. Nails throws a stool at Thunder and hits him with a chair for the quick DQ. This is the first character development and we’re about 80% done with the show.

Nails chokes him over the top rope post match.

Oliver Humperdink says that his tag team, Killer and Psycho, the Texas Hangmen (WHOA! They were featured on the show I did JUST before this. That’s weird) are here and awesome.

Ken McGuire vs. Sgt. Slaughter

McGuire is in pink trunks so you know he’s evil. Sheik Adnan Al-Kahassie is coming with someone to take out Slaughter. Sarge shrugs off a brief attack, hits the Slaughter Cannon and hooks the Cobra clutch for the quick win.

Slaughter says exactly what you would expect him to say.

Koko B. Ware vs. Bobby Bradley

Koko is in the High Energy attire and the fans chant Whomp There It Is. Koko shoves him down and dances a bit. He dropkicks Bradley down but Bradley comes back with very basic heel offense. Off to a chinlock for awhile but Koko comes back with a sleeper. Bradley escapes but the clock runs out in round 1 anyway. He jumps Koko between rounds and we hear from Mr. Hughes who says he’ll debut next week. Koko’s cross body misses and Bradley gets two. Ware goes up and hits an AWFUL looking missile dropkick for a close two. Ghostbuster gets the pin.

Rating: F. Koko looked old and fat here which is the exact opposite of what you’re looking for in a guy like him. Thankfully this show is almost over, because I don’t think I could take any more of this. The round system didn’t do anything here either as Bradley was out of the hold before the bell rang, so it didn’t mean anything.

Suave says he’s going to bring two more people here to take over. Valentine says he’s awesome and we’re done, thank goodness.

Overall Rating: F. I would usually try to come up with some catchy name or word for this, but this show was so boring that it drained the thinking out of me. The round system may sound interesting, but the problem is it doesn’t add or change anything. The matches are comprised of old guys that you knew at one point, but who now just look their age.

Also, most of these matches aren’t any good. The round idea just makes them last a minute longer which doesn’t make them interesting. The biggest problem though is the roster, as this is during the days of Nitro with a roster that would have been old in 1989. Nothing to see here and stay FAR away from this.

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Portland Wrestling
Date: September 3, 1983
Location: Portland Sports Arena, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Dutch Savage, Don Coss

This is another of those companies that I’ve never gotten around to but a lot of big names made the rounds here over the years. Officially the company is called Pacific Northwest Wrestling but everyone referred to it as Portland. The biggest name who was a regular in the territory was probably Roddy Piper but he was off to Crockett by this point. I have no idea what to expect here so let’s get to it.

Assuming the date is accurate, this was on a Saturday.

In something I don’t think you’ll ever hear again, the announcers talk about the post show dark match, saying you wish you came to the arena now that you’ve heard about it.

Dutch thinks it’s Memorial Day weekend so Don makes fun of him for a bit.

Mike Miller vs. Brian Adidas

Adidas was a friend of the Von Erichs and never did anything of note. Miller is a generic heel cowboy. The interesting thing here is promoter Don Owen as ring announcer. Feeling out process to start with Miller grabbing a rollup and a handful of trunks for two. Adidas grabs a headlock and takes Miller down to the mat as the announcers get coffee. Seriously they’re making sure they have the right cups.

Back up and Adidas snaps off some armdrags before getting caught in a headscissors. Adidas takes forever to get out of the hold, only to be put right back into it. Back to the headlock but a pull of Brian’s hair puts him back in the headscissors. Referee Sandy Barr (father of Art Barr) pulls Mike’s hair to break it up and Adidas sends him into the ropes.

Back up and the fans say they love Brian, only to see him caught in a chinlock. Adidas fights up and hits a backdrop for two, only to be punched in the ribs. A dropkick and a hiptoss put Miller on the floor. Mike snaps Brian’s neck on the ropes and chokes him for the VERY lame DQ.

Rating: D. Way too long and dull here for that ending. I’ve seen two Brian Adidas matches now and I have no desire to see a third. The guy just isn’t interesting at all and has nothing that separates him at all from other wrestlers. Miller was even more generic and we got to sit through ten minutes of these guys doing nothing special.

House show schedule.

Al Madrill vs. Jules Strongbow

The announcers talk about Andre the Giant coming to the area soon. It’s almost strange to hear about him still as a traveling guy. Feeling out process to start with Jules taking him down to the mat by the arm. Back up and Strongbow grabs the arm again before hooking a full nelson. Madrill counters into one of his own and this is going nowhere at all. He slams Jules down for two and complains about the count.

Jules slams Al down and the referee counts a VERY fast two in a funny bit. It works so well that they do the exact same bit before Madrill takes him down in a front facelock. Madrill hits the referee in the back and blames Jules before doing the exact same sequence again. Madrill does it a third time but gets caught, sending him running out to the floor.

Back in again and Madrill (I keep wanting to say Mandrill) slams Jules down again and gets the slowest two count ever. Now Madrill shakes Strongbow’s hand and they trade more slams. They both try slams at the same time for a stalemate. Now they both try double leg drops and they rock back and forth on the mat to a time limit draw.

Rating: D. Well this was funny at times I guess but when you do the same jokes over and over again, they stop being funny and start being annoying. Neither guy was interesting and the few funny bits here didn’t make up for the complete lack of good action. When I want to see Jules’ brother Jay, you can tell the match is nothing to see.

Here’s top heel Rip Oliver and his Clan. Oliver complains about Curt Hennig and Billy Jack (Haynes, big star in Portland) double teaming the Assassin, costing them $3000 in a recent match. Oliver wants another six man tag with the Clan (himself, Assassin and Dynamite Kid) vs. Hennig/Billy Jack/Buddy Rose. Assassin runs his mouth a bit before Oliver says he wants another six man tag. If Hennig’s team loses, Oliver will head back east, never to be seen again. Dynamite has a cowbell for some reason.

Assassin/Dynamite Kid vs. Buddy Rose/Curt Hennig

This is 2/3 falls. Before the match we’re told that Oliver and Assassin won the tag titles back a few days earlier. Also Owen picks now to announce Andre and Harley Race are coming soon. After about four minutes of disrobing, Hennig, who looks about 15 years old here, starts with Dynamite in what would be an awesome match four years from now. Dynamite flattens Hennig with a shoulder but Curt snaps up to a standoff. Off to a headlock by Kid before Assassin comes in. The announcers are talking about alcoholism for some reason.

The fans keep cheering for Curt but he gets dropped by a double headbutt. Hennig comes back with a big sunset flip for two on Dynamite but it’s back to Assassin. Apparently Hennig is Pacific Northwest Champion. Hennig fires off a right hand and a fireman’s carry but Dynamite breaks up the hot tag attempt. We hit the chinlock from Assassin but Curt finally fights up. Dynamite saves another hot tag and hits a top rope fist to give Assassin two. Kid comes in legally for another long chinlock but Hennig fights up and avoids a knee, allowing for the tag off to Rose.

Buddy cleans part of the house but gets caught in a few armdrags, only to come back with some dropkicks. Assassin tries a sunset flip but Rose rolls forward into a cradle for the first fall. Hot finish there. During the break between falls, Hennig, Rose and Hayes accept the challenge for the six man tag.

Back to the match with Rose hitting a quick dropkick on Assassin to send him to the floor. Assassin gets back in and takes over thanks to a cheap shot from Dynamite. Kid comes in legally and sends Rose into the buckle before dropping a knee for two. Back to Assassin for a knee drop of his own, followed by a standing knee to send Rose to the floor. Curt helps his partner back in but Rose is caught in a quick chinlock as the match keeps going.

Rose fights up as Dynamite tries to come in to break up the tag, only to have Curt make the save. Rose, known as a big guy, nips up but walks into a loaded headbutt from Assassin for the second fall. After a break we come back for another promo from the face guys. Curt talks about the people giving his team an edge over the Clan to be a good suck up. Rose says all three guys want a shot at NWA World Champion Harley Race.

We’re running out of TV time here and the third fall begins with Assassin pounding on Rose in the corner. Dynamite comes back in to crank on the arm and stomp on it on the mat. Not that it matters as Buddy gets over to the corner for the hot tag to Hennig. House is cleaned and the heels get caught in stereo abdominal stretches (big move back then), only to draw Oliver in for the DQ.

Rating: B. If you drop the promos in between the falls and have a better finish, this would have been a great match. The crowd was WAY into this and it’s easy to see why these guys would become big stars in the near future. The ending sets up the big six man in the near future and we got a good match out of it as well. Nice stuff here.

Billy Jack comes in and goes after Oliver but the numbers and the cowbell are too much for him. The good guys bail before they get beat up worse and a staredown ends the show.

Actually scratch that as the Clan shouts a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a show I’d watch weekly if you replace the horrible opening stuff with something even remotely good. The crowd was hot all night long and the main event, which ran nearly half an hour, was very solid stuff. The talent in the main event was high level stuff and the main story is interesting. Dynamite would take the title from Curt four days later to keep things going. Good stuff here but man alive it was looking bad after the first two matches.

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Brian Pillman Memorial Show
Date: May 25, 2000
Location: Schmidt Fieldhouse, Cincinnati, Ohio

As many of you probably know, Brian Pillman was a high flier who died in October of 1997. There was an annual memorial show held for him from 1998-2001 with proceeds going to his children’s education. These cards would have the rare event of WWF, WCW, ECW and independent talent on the same card. This is the third memorial show which is both the most famous and the only one I can find online. Let’s get to it.

This is a fifteen match card but I can find no footage of the first five matches. Odds are they weren’t filmed.

HWA Cruiserweight Title: Shark Boy vs. Jamie-San

HWA is the Heartland Wrestling Association out of Cincinnati, which served as a developmental territory for both WCW and the WWF over the years. Shark Boy is defending and Jamie-San is Jamie Noble. The footage is pretty low quality and there’s no commentary here at all. ECW/WCW goon Tony Marinara is with Jamie here for some reason. They trade wristlocks to start and Shark Boy gets two off an O’Connor Roll, giving us a stalemate. Time for some technical stuff with a nice little chain wrestling sequence leading to stalemate the sequel.

Back up and Sharky armdrags him down and Jamie bails to the floor. Jamie gets back in, only to be bitten on the trousers. Marinara gets the same and it’s back to the floor for healing. Shark Boy breaks up their meeting with a nice dive but Jamie pulls him off the apron and sends him into the barricade. Jamie is supposed to be Japanese but he sounds like a hayseed whenever he talks trash, killing the idea dead. Sharky takes a running clothesline in the corner but comes out with a spinning sunset flip for two.

Jamie kind of misses a middle rope dropkick for two and we hit the chinlock. Really basic stuff so far but it’s not bad. It’s strange to see Shark Boy as just a guy (who happens to think he’s a shark) instead of a cult favorite. The hold stays on for a good while, which is a pretty big waste of Jamie’s talents in the time they have. The fans are WAY into Shark Boy here so maybe the cult favorite aspect is still around.

The champion finally comes back by sending Jamie into the corner and puts him down with a facebuster. There are ten punches in the corner and a middle rope hurricanrana gets two for the champion. The Dead Sea Drop (more commonly called Diamond Dust, flipping Stunner off the middle rope) is countered into a reverse layout DDT (Christian uses it a lot) for two. Jamie misses a top rope headbutt so Sharky grabs a sleeper, only to be rammed into the corner, putting him in perfect position for the Dead Sea Drop and the pin to retain.

Rating: C. This was fine. The matches tonight are going to depend on who is in the ring as I’ll be harsher on indy guys than I will be on big time talent. It’s nice to see indy guys who have talent out there like Shark Boy as some matches from this level can be DREADFUL, which I’m sure we’ll hit at some point tonight. This was a nice little match though and both guys looked solid in the ring.

Post match Marinara yells at Jamie and gets beaten up. I guess that’s a Jamie face turn?

HWA Title: Chip Fairway vs. Race Steele

This is a tournament final for the vacant title. From what I can tell neither of these guys ever went anywhere. Fairway has a golf gimmick but dresses like he belongs at a biker bar. Steele appears to be the face and is a well built short guy who looks a bit like Ted DiBiase Jr. in the face. D’Lo Brown comes out for some reason in street clothes holding what I’m assuming is the HWA Title. He talks about being a former champion and says he’s going to make sure the best man wins.

They shove each other around out of lockups to start until Steele is armdragged down. The referee looks confused as Steele is sent down with a hiptoss. Steele comes back with a quick gorilla press and some bad looking clotheslines. They botch an atomic drop with Fairway stopping before he got to Steele and basically standing there so Race could do the move. Another clothesline sends Chip outside and Steele grabs an armbar back in the ring. A below average hurricanrana puts Fairway down again and he’s looking frustrated.

Race sends him to the floor with a dropkick and Chip stays on the floor way too long. Steele hits a nice dive over the top to take him out but Fairway sends him into the post to take over. Back in and Chip gets crotched on the top but blocks a superplex attempt. A guillotine legdrop gets two on Steele and it’s time for choking. Chip hits a sloppy looking Lionsault for a few two counts but misses a top rope elbow. Fairway stops a comeback with a jawbreaker but stops to yell at Brown. Steele hits something the camera completely misses for the pin and the title. Seriously I have no idea how he won the match.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t terrible but it felt like an indy match. Steele had a decent look but he needed more to work with than an evil golfer. This also showed the main problem with tournaments: there’s no story going on so there’s no reason to care about the match. It wasn’t the worst match in the world but there’s nothing to see here.

Some guys including Shark Boy come out to celebrate with Steele.

Mad Anthony McMurphy vs. Cody Michaels

McMurphy, the good guy, is a taxi driver and comes out to Crazy Train. The fight starts on the floor with Michaels throwing him into the steel. They head inside for a few seconds but Cody throws him right back outside. Michaels is going nuts so I’m guessing there’s some hatred here. Cody dives off the top to the floor to take out McMurphy before getting two with his feet on the ropes.

McMurphy tries to get a comeback going but gets tripped throat first into the ropes. A small package gets two for Anthony and a leg lariat gets the same. McMurphy gets two off a vertical suplex and a middle rope elbow but a terrible looking reverse DDT (so bad that it wound up as a regular DDT) gets Cody a breather. McMurphy comes back with something resembling a Rough Ryder for two but gets crotched on top. Not that it matters as he shoves Steele down and hits a top rope sunset flip for the pin.

Rating: D+. These matches are getting progressively worse as the show goes on. This wasn’t the worst match in the world but neither guy had anything special going for them at all. There was a nice start to the match with Michaels looking strong but after that it was just two guys doing moves to each other.

Dr. Tom Pritchard vs. Tim Horner

Pretty odd choice here. Pritchard is a WWF agent and used to be a tag team wrestler in the Heavenly Bodies in SMW and the WWF. Tim Horner was part of a low level tag team called the Lightning Express with Brad Armstrong back in the 80s and then was a jobber in WCW in the 90s. This is one of the dangers of indy shows: you have to get ANYBODY you can to fill in a card. Missy Hyatt is with Horner here for no apparent reason.

Feeling out process to start with neither guy getting anywhere. They trade hammerlocks in a short chain wrestling sequence leading to a stalemate. Horner grabs an armbar but Pritchard takes him into the corner for some chops, only to be taken right back down into the armbar. Tom takes him down with a test of strength and keeps him there with a kick to the ribs. So Pritchard is the heel. Good to know.

Back up and Horner snapmares him down for two but Pritchard hooks one of his own and we hit the chinlock. This is really dull stuff so far. Pritchard throws him to the floor and gets two off a suplex back inside. Back to the chinlock as the match somehow drags even worse. Now to really mix things up, Tom throws him out to the floor. Pritchard picks him up but gets caught in a sunset flip for the pin.

Rating: D-. This felt like two rookies doing wrestling drills instead of a match between two interesting guys. Both guys looked old and out of place on a show like this but again that’s one of the problems with a show like this. Absolutely terrible here though and I have no idea why these two were put out there against each other.

Harris Brothers vs. Kidman/Disco Inferno

Everyone is an active wrestler from this point on. At least Kidman has Torrie with him here for some eye candy. Sean Casey of the Cincinnati Reds is guest referee for no apparent reason. Kidman starts with we’ll say Ron Harris. We open with a lot of stalling before Ron (in an NWO shirt) shoves Kidman down with ease. Back up and Kidman dropkicks him to the outside for another stop in the action.

Off to Disco vs. Don Harris with the big man being taken down by the arm. Back up and Disco walks into a Boss Man Slam for two, only to be taken down by a bulldog. Ron comes in again and charges into a boot of the now legal Kidman. The heel twins finally cheat to take over and it’s Kidman playing Ricky Morton. Ron works over the back but misses a charge into the corner, allowing for the hot tag to Disco. Everything breaks down and Kidman turns on Disco for no apparent reason, allowing the Brothers to hit an H Bomb (kind of a double belly to back suplex/powerbomb) for the pin.

Rating: D. Another nothing match here with a pointless heel turn. It’s a one off show guys, did you really need to throw in something like that? The match had a basic story of power vs. speed to it but the Harris Brothers weren’t interesting enough to get us anywhere as a power brawling team. Bad match.

Casey beats up Charles Robinson, again for no apparent reason.

Hugh G. Rection vs. Vampiro

There’s no contact in the first minute. Rection is holding his leg for some reason. They lock up seventy five seconds into the match and Rection hits a shoulder block to take Vampiro down. Back up and Vampiro fires off some kicks to send Rection to the floor, followed by a big dive over the top. After some brawling that we can’t see, Vampiro is sent into the barricade and chopped into the crowd.

Again we can’t see a thing and it’s even worse than some ECW shows I’ve seen. The fans are really impressed by something but the screen is pretty much black. Now the fans tell someone that they screwed something up and the lights come on enough to see Rection being thrown through a table. They FINALLY head back into the ring and Rection misses the moonsault allowing Vampiro to hit the Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) for the pin.

Rating: N/A. I can’t rate a match I could barely see. There was literally nothing to see here at times with the “action” being nothing of note. Vampiro is one of those guys that I never got the appeal of but he certainly has his fans. Rection (Bill DeMott) was probably at the peak of his career around this time, which isn’t saying much.

Chris Benoit vs. Steven Regal

That would of course be William Regal and this is the only reason to watch this show. Benoit has only been in the WWF about four months at this point so he’s still a big deal. Feeling out process to start with Benoit taking him into the corner and firing off right hands. Chris cranks on the arm a bit and Regal can’t roll free. Instead he grabs a wristlock of his own and cranks on the Canadian’s arm as we’re still in the technical portion of the match.

They go to a test of strength grip with Benoit on the mat and Regal drops a hard knee to the chest. They keep the grip and Benoit nips up before headbutting Regal away. A hard dropkick and an enziguri send Regal to the floor but he avoids a baseball slide and kicks Benoit in the face. They head to the apron with Chris DDTing him down onto the edge of the ring.

Back in and Benoit suplexes him down for two but Regal trips him up and cranks on a chinlock while laying on Benoit’s back. Think an STF minus the leg lock. Benoit makes it over to the ropes for the break so Regal dropkicks him down for no cover. Regal hooks a seated surfboard stretch but reaches up to hook a dragon sleeper at the same time. I haven’t used this in awhile but FREAKING OW MAN!

Benoit elbows out of it and chops the tar out of Regal but Steven kicks him in the chest to put him back down. Back up and Benoit tries to roll some Germans but Regal elbows his way out. Regal tries a butterfly suplex but Benoit is all like “YOU DARE FIGHT MY SUPLEXES???” and hits another German. Benoit can’t follow up though and Regal takes him to the top for a butterfly superplex for two.

Regal is sent into the corner but they ram heads, giving Benoit two. Regal may be busted open. A pair of rollups only get two on Benoit so Regal fires off even more forearms. Benoit counters a tombstone into one of his own but the Swan Dive misses. Back up again and a dragon suplex gets two for Benoit but the Crossface ends Regal a second later.

Rating: A-. This match got Regal a job in the WWF and it’s not hard to see why. This was a very physical match with both guys looking great out there. Until this point, Regal has mainly been known as the blue blood who could have good matches at times but would usually be there as a jobber. REALLY good match here and worth seeing if you’ve never seen it. I believe it’s on Benoit’s DVD.

Post match Benoit praises Regal for the match.

Here’s Shane Douglas with something to say. Gee, I wonder if he’s going to complain about something. He says he would have been here last year but someone kept him away by pulling strings. Now on to Shane’s favorite topic of hatred: Ric Flair, who apparently is the cause of all of Shane’s problems.

Shane rants about Hulk Hogan causing every problem in wrestling and about how people like Lex Luger have turned WCW into their own playground. What does ANY of this have to do with Brian Pillman? He talks about Diamond Dallas Page and Page’s wife Kimberly, drawing out Page himself. Shane hits him low and stomps Page down but Page comes back and hits a Diamond Cutter before counting the three himself. Shane, ever the gentleman, dedicates the beating he took to Pillman.

ECW World Title: Raven vs. Justin Credible

Raven is challenging. Before the match Justin brags about how awesome he is so Raven says Justin still sucks to get us going. Ten punches in the corner have Credible in trouble and Raven throws him over the top to the floor. Some shots with a stool have Justin screaming and we head back inside, only to have Raven throw him back to the floor. Into the crowd now as is required in an ECW match but thankfully we can see a bit better than the Vampiro stuff.

Justin is thrown through some chairs and we head back to the ring with Raven in full control. A chair is brought in and Justin hooks a drop toehold to send Raven face first into the steel. Back to the floor as Justin flips off the crowd and sends Raven into the barricade. Again, what any of this has to do with Brian Pillman is beyond me. Bird Boy comes back with right hands but gets caught in a chinlock back inside.

That’s too boring for Credible though so he slams Raven down onto the chair and sets up a table at ringside. Back in and Justin puts on a sleeper but Raven sends him through the ropes and onto the table which doesn’t break. Raven hits a knee to the head but walks into a superkick for two. A low blow and a rollup get two for the champion and That’s Incredible (tombstone, Justin’s finisher) gets the same. The chair is set up again but this time it’s Justin being sent face first into it for two. Not that it matters as another tombstone retains the title.

Rating: D. If there was a point to Justin Credible I’m not sure what it was. I never saw anything special in him but Heyman would not let him fall down the card no matter what. The match was pretty much junk but that goes without saying for most ECW matches. By this point the company was pretty much done and the dying days were much more dull than bad.

Eddie Guerrero vs. D’Lo Brown

Both guys have a Cincinnati Red with them. Before the match, Eddie and his Red Dmitri Young talk some trash that the audio barely picks up. Apparently Eddie is mad at Brown for using the frog splash without his permission. It’s better than no story at all. Brown comes out with Danny Graves who does the D’Lo head shake in a funny bit. Brown and Graves have their own trash talking which I can’t understand either. Eddie dropkicks Brown while he’s talking and we’re ready to go.

They fight over a top wristlock and D’Lo knocks him over with a shoulder (Brown: “YOU SUCK!”) before they botch a slide underneath spot. Brown slams him down and stomps away while shouting to the crowd a lot. I think Brown is the good guy here but it’s not entirely clear. A HARD chop to Eddie’s chest makes the crowd inhale but he comes back with a snap suplex. Brown rolls away from the Frog Splash and slams Eddie down, only to be crotched while loading up the Low Down. A superplex puts D’Lo down but Eddie can’t follow up. D’Lo rolls to the floor and here’s Dean Malenko to jump Guerrero for the DQ.

Rating: D. Well that happened. Seriously there isn’t much else to say about this one. I liked the idea of the battle of the frog splashes but it was better when it was RVD instead of Eddie. The best part of this match was Graves doing the head shake and that was before the bell ever rang. Nothing to see here.

Eddie comes back on Dean until Perry Saturn runs in to help Malenko. Brown makes the save and, after about three minutes of taunting from Eddie and Brown, it’s a tag match.

Eddie Guerrero/D’Lo Brown vs. Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn

D’Lo punches Saturn to the floor to start as Dean and Perry are definitely the heels here. Now Dean and Brown stare at each other so D’Lo brings in Eddie. Eddie dropkicks him down but gets caught in the heel corner to give Dean control. Saturn slams Guerrero down for two and we hit a chinlock maybe ninety seconds into the match. Eddie fights up and makes the tag to Brown, setting up a VERY awkward looking sequence as Saturn and Brown miss each other several times until Saturn finally connects with a clothesline. It looked like they’re on different planets instead of in the same ring.

Thankfully Dean comes in to settle things down but a few seconds later it’s back to Saturn for some arm work. Saturn hooks a short arm scissors but Brown does the traditional power lift to escape. Back to Dean for a kick in the back and the leg lariat to put D’Lo down. The Radicalz work over the arm for a good while until Eddie comes in sans tag and dropkicks Saturn.

Not that it matters as the arm work continues but I guess Guerrero was getting bored. D’Lo finally hooks a neckbreaker to put Dean down and the hot tag brings in Eddie. The cameraman seems to trip as we keep getting shots of the mat instead of the action. Everything breaks down and Saturn accidentally kicks Dean, setting up the Low Down for the pin.

Rating: D-. Oh my this was bad. I don’t know what the deal was with Saturn and Brown but it looked like some horribly bad amateur stuff instead of two former champions. This match had no flow to it at all and was a near disaster. Eddie looked ok and that’s about all there is to say about the match.

Overall Rating: D. The first two matches are watchable, but the rest of the show (minus the classic of course) is DREADFUL. I have no idea what kind of a tribute this was supposed to be but it didn’t make me miss Brian Pillman at all. This show is a borderline disaster with only Benoit and Regal saving it from being one of the worst shows I’ve ever seen.

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Bloodymania V
Date: August 14, 2011
Location: Hatchet Landing, Cave-in-Rock Illinois
Commentators: Kevin Gill, Shaggy 2 Dope

This is what you get for saying you’ll review almost anything. This is Juggalo Championship Wrestling, which is the Insane Clown Posse’s company. If you don’t know who they are, they’re a band who dresses like clowns and are incredibly controversial for their lyrics and all that jazz. They’re also huge wrestling fans and got into both the WWF and WCW on their star power. They wrestled some matches and it became clear they had the talent of your average backyard wrestler. Naturally WCW had plans on making one of them Cruiserweight Champion because that’s what WCW does.

Now one thing to note: there are actual wrestlers here. It isn’t just ICP and their friends having bad matches. There are names on here like Rhyno, Raven, Nick Dinsmore (Eugene), X-Pac and Vampiro. Also I have no idea who any of these musicians are, nor do I care to know. Other than that I have no idea what to expect here. Let’s get to it.

Some guy in a JCW shirt comes out to open the show. Apparently his name is Kevin Gill. He intros the show and the people are SILENT. The audio on this show sucks so far. The main event is Corporal Robinson, who apparently has been champion for about 40% of the company’s existence, defending against Vampiro. He introduces his broadcasting partners and the audio gets a lot louder.

A DJ plays some music.

Shaggy goes to the back to see about some of the audio issues.

Apparently all of the fans are called ninjas.

Bill Martel vs. The Man of 1000 Gimmicks

The name graphics are backwards at first. The announcers keep talking over the ring announcer. Martel is the Superstar, so you can tell he’s important. The Man of 1000 Gimmicks is looking like a pimp here. From what I can find on the internet, his name is Sal so we’ll go with that. Apparently Sal lost a loser leaves town match a few weeks/months ago but put on a mask and won a match to get back on this show.

Bill slaps him to start but gets slapped right back. Sal takes him to the mat and hits a low dropkick to the head before pulling out….a marshmallow? Oh it was a tampon which he puts in Bill’s mouth. How long is this show again? Martel takes him down again and the audio screws up again. Martel misses a middle rope elbow and Sal clotheslines him down for two. They head to the corner with Sal hitting a tornado DDT and rolling through into a spinning fisherman’s neckbreaker for two. Martel gets a rollup out of nowhere for the pin. This should have been a dark match.

We recap the next tag match. Weed Man (exactly what it sounds like) lost a match to Officer Colt Cabana and had to become Cabana’s deputy. Weed Man wasn’t happy with it and had to help Cabana go after 2 Tuff Tony who is an alcoholic. Finally the drug addict turned on the cop and helped the alcoholic. Cabana brought in US Marshall Adam Pearce and we’ve got a tag match, albeit with Pearce/Cabana vs. Tony and a mystery partner.

The announcers talk but we hear music.

Adam Pearce/Colt Cabana vs. 2 Tuff Tony/???

Commentary is back now but the theme music is still drowning it out. The camera stays on the commentators as we can hear stuff going on in the ring. Even Shaggy and Kevin are asking why they’re being shown. Apparently the show didn’t get going until sometime between 1:30 and 3:30am. No wonder the fans aren’t caring that much. After Tony gives the fans liquor for a few minutes, Weed Man runs in and says he’s the partner of Tony. That’s not exactly shocking given the story. He takes his mask off which is a big deal apparently but it doesn’t get a big reaction. No one knows who he is so what was the point?

Tony and Cabana start things off with Tony controlling the arm early on. Off to Weed Man who stays on the arm while the announcers say he looks like a typical stoner. Cabana punches him down and it’s off to Pearce with a top rope splash for two. Weed Man does a Flair Flip in the corner and is clotheslined off the apron. Cabana rams Weed Man into the steps and Weed Man is busted.

Pearce works on the cut and does the clap non-tag to Cabana. A sunset flip gets two for Weed and we’re already at the main issue with this show: the wrestling is ok at its very best. Weed Man isn’t that good and he’s doing nothing but basics. Anyway it’s off to Pearce as the beating continues. Oh wait let’s look at the commentators again. Pearce goes up and gets crotched and superplexed down.

There’s the hot tag to Tony who cleans house as the announcers make gay jokes about Cabana. Tony hits a kick to the face of Pearce for two and a Lionsault to Cabana gets no cover. Instead of covering, Tony covers his hand in alcohol and tries to light it on fire, but Pearce throws a fire extinguisher at it. Cabana hits Tony with a nightstick for two as Weed Man dives through the ropes onto Pearce. Tony trips Cabana down and a double stomp from Weed Man gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This was one of the main events? If that’s the case this show is in big trouble. This was a run of the mill tag match and not a lot came from it. Cabana and Pearce are talented guys but they need something better than these two for opponents to have a good match. I get that Weed Man and Tony are popular, but they’re not that talented. That’s one of the mistakes ECW made: they would have guys in there to pop the live crowd but it did nothing for the masses. Now that being said, this is a far different kind of company than ECW was so it’s a lot more understandable here.

Cabana arrests Weed Man for taking his mask off. A guy who is apparently the owner of the land this show is happening on says Cabana has no authority here because it’s private property. Weed Man has to be uncuffed and security comes out remove Cabana who shouts about Rodney King. Tony and Weed Man celebrate with the fans.

We recap Zach Gowen vs. Eugene. Gowen has one leg and Eugene (spelled U-Gene here for the sake of copyright infringement but I’m calling him Eugene because it really makes no difference) was really protective of him. Eugene tried to use brass knuckles to win the tag titles but Gowen didn’t want them that way. Eugene was offended and turned on him, setting up this match. Simple story and that’s fine.

U-Gene vs. Zach Gowen

Eugene takes the only leg out but Gowen can fight well on the mat and escapes. Eugene keeps asking for a test of strength but Gowen will have none of that. Back to the mat but Gowen kicks him to the floor. Eugene is still slow so this is a battle of the handicaps. Back in and Gowen gets down in a crouch which freaks Eugene out. Gowen is very quick on the mat so Eugene gets on top of him. A dropkick puts Eugene on the floor and he’s getting very frustrated. He seems to be the heel here.

Back in and Gowen is slammed into the mat for two and it’s off to a chinlock. Eugene uses the classic invisible foreign object to pound away. The commentators debate what country the object is from and continue to get on my nerves. Eugene puts on a half crab, which may be a full crab in Gowen’s case, followed by a giant swing. Eugene loads up what looks like a Samoan Drop off the middle rope but Gowen escapes into a powerbomb for no cover.

A Blockbuster gets two for Gowen but Eugene comes back with an airplane spin. Given that it’s an airplane spin, we get the required ref bump as Gowen is being spun around. Gowen takes Eugene down and this a moonsault but there’s no ref. As Zach wakes the referee up, Eugene blasts Gowen with the foreign object for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here as it’s amazing what you do when you get seasons pros in the ring. Eugene was always talented and he could make the gimmick work well as he tweaked it enough to make it different at different times. When you take Gowen out of the main event scene of WWE PPVs, he’s a lot less annoying. Decent match here which is probably going to be the high point.

The referee sees the object and reverses the decision. Eugene snaps and destroys Gowen with Gowen’s cane. The referee was busted open in there somewhere too.

The announcers talk about what we just saw.

We recap Richie Boy Breyer Wellington vs. his Butler Geeves. Wellington was going to try to steal the world title but Geeves wound up sneaking in and taking it. 2 Tuff Tony won the belt before Geeves could lay down for Wellington so Wellington and his manager Truth Martini brought in Geeves’ wife Mrs. Geeves before the match tonight. Tonight, the winner gets Mrs. Geeves and the loser has to fight Tank Abbott for five minutes.

Breyer Wellington vs. Butler Geeves

Geeves looks like a Chippendale dancer. We stall to start and look at the announcers a bit who are talking about moon bounce houses. No contact for the first 45 seconds or so. Geeves works on the arm but gets sent to the mat by Wellington to escape. Wellington puts on a headlock as the ring seems a lot louder now for some reason. The announcers keep up a joke about Geeves learning to wrestle online which is beaten into the ground a few minutes into the match.

The guys in the ring are doing nothing beyond basics so far. A butterfly suplex gets two for Wellington and it’s off to a surfboard hold on Geeves. Wellington hits a Backstabber for two. At least I think it was two, as we were looking at the announcers again. Geeves makes a comeback and grabs a rollup for two but walks into a modified Cradle Shock (Sabin’s AA move) for two. Some chick comes out and flashes Wellington, giving Geeves a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. This was really dull and the comeback came so fast that there wasn’t a chance for the crowd to get into it. The girl I guess is replacing Mrs. Geeves for her husband, but he gets them both due to the stipulations. That’s not a bad way to go and I guess now we get the Tank Abbott stuff. Pretty terrible match though.

Geeves says he doesn’t want his wife’s services anymore in a pretty decent promo.

No Abbott stuff for the moment.

Here’s Commissioner Violent J. He plays to the crowd a bit and the fans chant Bruce (his real name). As with everything else tonight, you can barely understand him. He says not to review the show if you’re not observing them. That clears me I guess. Apparently only Juggalos can review these shows. I’m out then. He talks about what you should do and this goes nowhere. We get a King Kong Bundy reference for no apparent reason.

J talks about a guy who is here after not being around for awhile. The fans chant for Evil Dead, who was a corpse that won the first JCW Championship. He had a big advantage because he was death and therefore couldn’t feel pain. More on that later. Evil Dead is the first inductee into the JCW Hall of Fame, and there is no truth to the speculation that it’s just J’s brother in a rubber mask.

Evil Dead comes out and falls down the ramp because he doesn’t have many leg muscles left. He has a note in his hand as he stands on the middle rope. J reads his speech which talks about eating people. Dead falls off the ropes, gets tied up in the ropes, falls to the floor, and finally leaves with J. This ran 13 minutes, or longer than all but one match tonight.

The announcers talk a lot more. This must be an intermission of some kind.

Tag Titles: Ring Rydas vs. Tracy Smothers/Bull Pain vs. Necro Butcher/Mad Man Pondo vs. Raven/Sexy Slim Goody

The Rydas are the champions and are known as Ring Ryda Red and Ring Ryda Blue. They’re masked and are also known as the Irish Airborne, mainly from ROH. The ring is WAY too small for eight people. Raven and Smothers start things off and we start with dancing. Before there’s any contact it’s off to Slim, who is a big fat guy who may or may not be gay. Smothers keeps falling down without any contact being made. Pain comes in and twists Slim’s nipples to start things off.

Bull Pain pounds on Slim as the announcers crack jokes about whatever they think of. A reverse DDT puts Slim down for no cover for Pain. Pain looks like a shorter Albert from his piercing days. The Rydas get on Pain’s nerves and draw him into their corner so Red comes in to pound on Slim. The Rydas are small guys so the size difference is jarring.

Off to Blue vs. Necro with Blue speeding things up and hitting a running knee to the face. Blue goes up but jumps into an uppercut. Off to Pondo who hits a kind of piledriver onto a chair that is in the ring out of nowhere. Things break down a bit and it’s off to Necro vs. Smothers. Necro chops away in the corner and Pain starts beating on everyone with a bat or a pipe or whatever it is.

Tracy comes in and Necro sets for a tiger driver, but Tracy’s daughter/sister (forget it people, it’s JCW) Isabelle comes in to break it up. Pain walks out on Smothers for some reason and Tracy follows. Red breaks up a DDT on Pondo from Raven and heads up. In a pretty awesome looking finish, Red gets shoved off the top by Goody into the DDT from Raven who hits it perfectly for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. This was a bit of a mess because there were too many people and too much stuff going on out there at once. The ending was pretty awesome looking though as Red looked dead after that DDT. I have no idea why Raven and Slim are together but it’s Raven so it’s not a big deal at all.

And now the feed goes off for a bit. It wouldn’t feel right if that didn’t happen.

We recap Rhyno vs. Kongo Kong which is basically a battle of monsters colliding. It’s No DQ either.

Rhyno vs. Kongo Kong

No countout or DQ. Apparently Kongo has lost over 90lbs since the video was made because he’s billed as 410lbs here and was said to be over 500lbs in the video. Kong is a savage or something close to one. Kong immediately clotheslines him down but Rhyno pops back up. Rhyno hits a decent belly to belly given how fat Kong is but Kong pops back up. Kong misses a charge and flips over the top rope to the floor in a surprising display of balance.

Rhyno dives onto Kong but loses a slugout on the floor. Back in and the fat man (Kongo if you’re not familiar with Rhyno, which makes me wonder why you’re reading this) pounds away and we get the required nerve hold. Rhyno Hulks Up and finally knocks Kong down with shoulders. The Gore hits….for two? I didn’t see that coming. A second Gore again only gets two but the third one hits the buckle, giving Kongo a rollup win out of nowhere.

Rating: D. Kong is a big guy but there’s nothing more to him than that. Also, why would you have a monster come off looking like he can only win on a fluke? Kicking out of two Gores was a nice surprise as the Gore is a very famous finisher. This was short which helped a bit but it didn’t work that well due to Kong being unable to do much.

We recap the women’s three way. There’s something about training and throwing in a towel and I really don’t care.

Brittany Force vs. Amber O’Neal vs. Ring Girl Randy

Amber is billed as being from Heaven. That’s kind of awesome. The announcers say they hope it turns into lesbianism. Well why bother to just hint at it I guess? Anyway Amber tries to leave but the other two pull her back in and beat her to the floor. Randy hits a Samoan Drop on Force to send Brittany to the floor, followed by a big dive to take Brittany out. Amber sends Randy into the post so let’s look at the announcers.

Back in and Brittany grabs a fast rollup for two on Amber but gets caught in a running Umaga attack in the corner. Amber knocks everyone down and hits a bad X Factor on Force for two. Force gets two off something we missed because we were looking at the commentators. Randy keeps getting beaten up as she tries to get back in. Amber chokes Brittany over the ropes while in a rana position and Randy is back in.

Scratch that as she’s already back out. Amber puts a chinlock on Force for about 10 seconds, followed by a Stink Face. Force avoids a charge and hits a Downward Spiral on Amber and Randy finally gets back in. A facejam from Force gets two on Amber, but Randy comes in and hits a reverse DDT on Force for the surprise win.

Rating: D+. This was your usual three way with the person who looked to be losing the entire time coming out of nowhere for the surprise pin. That’s always annoying as it’s such a played out idea that as soon as Randy kept getting knocked to the floor I knew she was going to win. Nothing to see here but Amber is good looking so it helps.

X-Pac vs. Luke Gallows vs. Rob Conway

The winner gets a contract, even though Conway already has one. Fast paced opening here with no one being able to get an advantage. Conway is sent to the floor and Gallows is knocked out as well, followed by Pac with a big dive. Conway crotches Pac on the platform the ring is on which gets two back in the ring. Now we get to the usual turning point of a triple threat: the fight between the heels (?) that want to pin the guy who is down.

Gallows kills Conway with a chokeslam but Pac kicks Gallows down. Luke kicks Pac in the face in the corner but misses a middle rope elbow. Conway puts a sleeper on Gallows but they both fall to the floor. The sleeper wasn’t broken though and Gallows is put to sleep. Conway goes back in to try to do the same to Pac but X-Pac rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t terrible but it just came and went. Gallows is as generic of a big man as you can get and Conway is just there, which is why he’s an OVW legend and not much else. The match was as typical of a three way as you could ever ask for. Nothing special at all here though, which might as well be the name of the show.

We recap Corporal Robinson vs. Vampiro. They were friends, Vampiro came into the ring when Robinson won his fourth title and kicked Robinson’s head off. This is something about Robinson proving himself, despite having two title reigns that have gone over two years already. Robinson says this is his life, unlike Vampiro where it’s like the fourth biggest thing on his list. Vampiro says that’s exactly like ICP and they’re doing fine. Both of these guys are in the Juggalo World Order which is the big stable which hasn’t been mentioned until this promo.

JCW World Title: Corporal Robinson vs. Vampiro

Robinson is defending if that wasn’t clear. They shake hands to start and finally lock up. Before anything can get going, here’s Evil Dead for no apparent reason. He gets in the ring and drills the referee as the other two guys get in each others’ faces. Evil Dead DDTs both guys and leaves. This is happening…..why exactly?

Robinson and Vampiro slug it out from their knees which takes a good while. Robinson shoulders him down but gets kicked in the face a second later to give Vampiro control again. Robinson comes back again and tries his finisher called Boot Camp (cobra clutch legsweep) but Vampiro escapes. A neckbreaker gets two for the champion as does a superkick from Vampiro. Vampiro’s chokeslam is broken up and apparently it’s almost 5:00am. Good grief.

A tornado DDT gets two for Robinson as they’re in the problem most indy matches have: they have no idea how to tell a story in the ring and it’s just a string of moves with nothing between them. Vampiro flips off the fans to go heel I guess, and walks into a dragon screw leg whip for his efforts. Robinson puts on a quick leglock but Vamp gets to a rope. The Corporal brings in a chair but Vampiro kicks his knee out just in time.

Vampiro loads up something off the top but gets pulled down into a Tree of Woe. We get the Tommy Dreamer running dropkick into the chair into the guy in the Tree of Woe’s face for two. Vampiro comes back with a kind of Van Daminator and Robinson is busted open. It’s table time now because what would a main event be without one of those? Off to a chinlock by Vampiro so he can bite the cut a bit.

The table is set up in the corner and Vampiro goes after the cut on Robinson’s head. Robinson is sent face first into the chair but Vampiro walks around too much and gets suplexed down for two. Robinson goes up but misses a legdrop to bring things to a halt again. Chokeslam from Vampiro gets two, followed by a Robinson powerbomb and Boot Camp for the pin to retain. The table was never used.

Rating: C-. This went WAY too long which brings it down a bit. Somehow this match was almost twenty minutes long and about four minutes of that was spent on laying around. I have no idea what the point of Evil Dead was but it came and went and didn’t change anything. Not a terrible match or anything and it was fine for a main event on a show of this caliber.

The locker room comes out to celebrate with Robinson as Vampiro leaves. He finally comes back to celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This certainly wasn’t the worst show I’ve ever seen but it’s nothing I’d ever want to see more of. JCW started off as basically a parody of wrestling with things like the announcers saying this match sucks so let’s watch a different one and then they would actually change over to another match or the ICP declaring themselves the winners because they own the company and they’ll fire anyone that beats them. Instead this was just a run of the mill indy show with absolutely nothing memorable or different at all. That being said, the show cost five bucks so it’s really hard to complain.

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