USWA Championship Wrestling
Date: March 28, 1991
Location: USWA Television Studios, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Dave Brown, Michael St. John

I haven’t done one of these in about two months now. This is the last episode I have at the moment so it’s hard to say when I’ll get back down to Tennessee. I don’t really remember anything from this company other than Lawler is world champion and Bill Dundee is trying to get his son to love him again. Oh and Steve Austin is here somewhere too, although he’d be in WCW by the summer. Let’s get to it.

Danny Davis is in the opening match but before the match, Eric Embry and Tom Pritchard are here. Pritchard is the new Southern Heavyweight Champion, having won the title about two weeks ago. We get a clip of Jackie Fargo and Jerry Lawler beating some Texas guys in the Mid-South Coliseum but the Texans destroyed the Memphis dudes. Eric is Texas Heavyweight Champion as well and brags about it a lot. Eric and Pritchard run into the ring and beat up Davis and his opponent, the Scorpion.

Back from a break and we talk about the Mid-South show on Monday.

Jackie Fargo tells the Texas guys they’re not going to come in here and run over everyone. Steve Keirn is coming in to help Lawler in the fight.

Sgt. O’Reiley vs. Eddie Gilbert

Eddie jumps him to start and pounds him on the back a lot. A suplex and a DDT both put Sarge down as we’re in pure squash territory here. Here are the Texans again to talk trash about Steve Keirn who has nothing to do with this match. The camera is on them talking at the moment so I have no idea what is going on in the match. The Texans run in for the DQ a few seconds later.

Gilbert gets beaten down for awhile until Steve Keirn makes the save. Keirn says that you have to earn a reputation instead of taking one from someone else. Fargo called him and asked for some help in getting revenge. Keirn owes Fargo everything so he came as soon as he got the call.

Video on Steve Keirn.

We hear about the King’s Hotline which is a real thing.

Here’s Jeff Jarrett to talk about losing the Southern Title to Pritchard in Dallas. We get a clip of the end of the match which saw a ref bump and Tojo Yamamoto, the Texans’ manager, ran in. Jarrett stole a foreign object to hit Pritchard with, but Embry ran in and hit Jarrett with a boot so Pritchard could get the pin and the title.

Back in the arena, Jarrett says he lost the title in Texas. Well yeah we kind of knew that. Apparently he’ll be getting a rematch but Pritchard won’t sign for it. Jarrett will be following Pritchard no matter where he goes until he gets his rematch.

Jeff Jarrett/Billy Joe Travis vs. Keith Roberson/Mickie Jay

Travis starts with the guy that isn’t Roberson. We’ve only been given the name of one of the jobbers and it doesn’t seem like the announcers know the other guy’s name either. Billy works on the arm and it’s off to Jarrett quickly. The announcer says that the guy is named Mickie Jay. That was the name of a WCW referee….and sweet goodness I think it’s the same guy. I really didn’t need to see him in leopard trunks. Off to Roberson who is immediately taken down into an armbar.

Travis comes in and it’s back to the arm. Roberson gets caught in a double backdrop for two and Jeff stays in. Jay comes in again and the big fat tub of goo (Jay) gets his arm cranked on as well. Travis suplexes him a few times and Jarrett gets two off a cross body. They tag in and out very fast here. A Vader Bomb from Travis gets the pin on Jay.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here but it gives us a tag team that could take on the Texans which is the right idea here. This was a squash but that’s what jobbers were for. This was a different era where these kind of matches were perfectly acceptable for the majority of the shows so that’s what we’ve had so far in the first half of this episode.

House show ads. Eddie Marlin, the boss, comes out to say that Keirn will be on the card for tonight. That’s the house show tonight, not this show.

Here’s Jerry Lawler to brag about the 400^th episode of their show. You can hear Vince counting shows from here.

Steve Austin vs. Chris Frazier

Austin is now managed by J.C. Ice. Total squash with Austin hitting what we would call Eye of the Storm and a top rope splash gets the win in about 80 seconds.

Deuce Mason vs. Bill Dundee

Dundee takes him to the mat almost immediately and works on the arm a bit. They go to the mat and it’s off to a spinning toehold. Now it’s a hammerlock followed by a sleeper to end this.

Rating: D. You wouldn’t think that the match I just recapped would have lasted over three and a half minutes would you? It was nothing of note but the idea here was to get Dundee on TV so we could talk about the J.C. Ice feud which is fine. This was a slow and long squash which could have lost a minute or two.

We get a clip of Austin vs. Dundee where J.C. Ice slipped Austin a loaded glove so Austin could get the pin. Back in the arena, Dundee says that Austin can’t beat him on his best day. Next week it’s a loaded glove on a pole match.

T.D. Steele/Curtis Thompson vs. Texas Hangmen

Thompson gets double teamed but comes back with a double clothesline. Thompson looks like a more compact Chris Masters. Steele comes in and I think Psycho beats him down. The Hangmen are Psycho and Killer in case you were wondering. Off to Killer and it’s time for some double teaming. A belly to belly puts Steele down but Killer pulls him up. Curtis breaks up a pin because Steele made him mad I’m guessing. Why else would you keep this going? After about three minutes of beating it’s finally off to Thompson who cleans house. Not that it matters as a side slam/forearm combination called the Texas Whirlwind gets the pin.

Rating: D. This is another match that went on WAY longer than it needed to. I think the idea is that the Hangmen are evil and don’t care about the rules (they were disqualified for shoving the referee so the pin doesn’t count), but you could cover that in about half the time. Nothing to see here and the Hangmen would finally win the titles soon after this.

Billy Joe Travis comes out for the save but gets beaten down too. They hang him with a rope until Jarrett makes the save.

Here are Lawler and Keirn for a chat. Lawler says he has a bad neck now but that’s not the point. He talks about how a lot of the time when you team with someone, it doesn’t mean you’re friends. Lawler references the problems he had a few months ago with the Fabulous Ones (Keirn being half of them) and Cornette. Lawler and Keirn aren’t friends, but they both respect Jackie Fargo. They’ll be able to take care of Embry and Pritchard and run them back to Texas.

Keirn says that they’re not friends but he respects Lawler more than anyone else around here. Keirn is serious about avenging Jackie Fargo and while Pritchard and Embry want to make a name for themselves, they need to find someone else to try it on because they can’t get it done on Lawler and Keirn. Really good promo here but I smell a swerve coming in that match.

The announcers wrap the show up.

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling here wasn’t great but the promos were on fire tonight. I want to see the main events on Monday at the big show which is the idea behind these TV shows. In the true spirit of a territory, both Austin and Keirn would be gone in a few months to the major shows. Not a great show here but it makes me want to keep watching which is more important than anything else.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Wrestlicious Takedown
Date: March 10, 2010
Location: Wrestlicious Studios, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentator: Johnny C.

Oh sweet goodness what am I doing to myself? For those of you unfamiliar, go watch the trailer on Youtube right now. It’s basically the spiritual successor to G.L.O.W., which is known for good looking women and completely campy comedy and women that are “wrestlers”. In this case, it was started by a guy that won a Powerball lottery and used his money on this. Jimmy Hart played a big part in this and I think it’s out of business now. This is the second episode. Let’s get to it.

Oh and the girls are mostly all wrestlers, some of which you’ll know. They’re ALL in very stereotypical and overdone gimmicks which I’m sure you’ll catch on to. There are also comedy skits to go along with the wrestling. The word “studios” means warehouse too.

Jimmy Hart pops up and is worried about being the host and stuck with a bimbo or stick in the mud. Leyla Milani, the runner up in one of the Diva Searches, appears and is the co-host. Oh geez there’s a laugh track.

We do the opening video which is most of the girls in character in front of a personalized screen.

Boot Camp Bailey, the trainer, wants to talk about something. She’s a military themed girl with a VERY short skirt. She says attention a lot and says she’s looking for a few good women. Bailey asks who wants to be a trainee and calls a few “fans” into the ring. One of the girls is the floor manager who has to take her headset off before she gets in. Bailey apparently is a model with no wrestling experience. This is getting LOUDLY booed by the way.

We get a clip from last week of a six girl tag with the Country Cousins vs. the Mexican team/Felony, a prison character. I have no idea what the announcer’s name is. Felony tries to escape during the match. Apparently the commentator’s name is Johnny C. and he has no idea what he’s calling. The Mexican team and Felony won with what looked like a Snow Plow.

There’s going to be a battle royal with the final two facing each other for the Wrestlicious Title.

We go to “the farm” (green screen) with Cousin Cassie and Tyler Texas who do a comedy bit called “You Just Might Be A Down Home Wrestler.” I’m sure you get the idea here.

And now, a game show: Are You Smarter Than A Male Wrestler, hosted by Jimmy Hart. Our contestants are Glory (female wrestler Christie Ricci playing a patriot) and Brian Knobbs. The category is American History and the question is what happened in 1776. Knobbs thinks it’s the first beer drinking contest. Glory gets it right (I guess the signing of the Declaration of Independence was all that happened in America that year)…..and that’s it.

We recap the Bailey segment from like 5 minutes ago.

Now three girls are in a bedroom on a bed. Now they go to make drinks but Bailey stops them. Oh ok they’re the trainees. To be continued. Did I mention we’re almost halfway through the show?

Package on Lacey Von Erich which is her on the beach in swimsuits.

Tony the Top (mob character) says that Autumn Frost (an Ice Princess, whatever that is. You may know her as Jennifer Blake who does indy wrestling and is a somewhat big female star in AAA) should be on JV Rich’s (the owner of the company and owner of a big mansion where comedy bits like this one are shot at) arm. He says she should be on a leash, which gets a HUGE reaction from the laugh track.

Paige Webb (Serena from the Straight Edge Society with hair) answers an e-mail from a male admirer. Included in the e-mail is a picture of his pierced genitals I think.

Three girls are arguing over what to call the aforementioned battle royal. Go vote on their website for the NAME OF THE MATCH. This show is cut into three parts on Youtube and we’re about to start part 3 with no matches.

HOKEY SMOKE A WRESTLING MATCH!

Autumn Frost vs. Paige Webb

Frost is from Alaska so we get a snow effect. Webb is a computer geek. Get it? Johnny C. makes a bunch of bad sex jokes and we’re ready to go. Frost jumps her but gets caught in a full nelson. The commentary is nothing but puns. Literally, it’s all puns and the occasional name of a move. Frost hooks a full nelson of her own but Webb arm drags out of it. Webb hooks the armbar as the announcer talks about how Webb’s box is filled every night. With e-mails of course.

A monkey flip puts Frost down and “the ice girl goeth”. Back in and Frost takes over. I can’t handle or give you an accurate description of the amount of the puns being used here. Apparently Webb needs to reboot from a snow boot. Frost beats her down “like a computer virus.” I’m dying listening to how bad this is.

They do a pinfall reversal sequence and Webb gets caught in a chinlock. Webb comes back with some armdrags and sends Frost to the floor for a beating. Back in a top rope cross body gets two for Webb. After a quick run on the floor, Webb tries a monkey flip but Frost falls on her and puts her feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D+. Both girls are pro wrestlers already so the match wasn’t that bad, but the commentary here is going to make or break the match for you. I kid you not, you won’t go ten seconds without a terrible pun, but if you just give up on the show being serious and enjoy it for how HORRIBLE it is, the commentary will grow on you quickly. The wrestling wasn’t half bad.

We get a preview for next week which is a voodoo chick vs. Madison Rayne as a cheerleader.

Overall Rating: B. Now let me explain. This show is TERRIBLE. There’s about four minutes of wrestling (the show is only half an hour including commercials so it’s not a huge stretch), a TON of bad comedy bits that don’t go anywhere and the commentary is nothing but puns.

HOWEVER, this is the kind of show where if you saw more than four seconds of the previews, you knew exactly what you were getting into. This show knows it’s horrible and it doesn’t try to take itself seriously in the slightest. I found it hilarious with how bad it was and if you go into it with that kind of mindset, you’ll have fun with it. Plus the girls look good so that helps.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

USWA Championship Wrestling
Date: March 9, 1991
Location: USWA Television Studios, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Dave Brown, Michael St. John

We had to skip ahead about a month here but it shouldn’t be a big problem. As far as I know there haven’t been any major changes, although at some point before the 15th, Jarrett’s Southern Title was held up after a match with Steve Austin so there’s no champion. Other than that everything seems to be the same. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Night Train Jackson vs. Sgt. O’Reilly

The show is starting a little early so some fans aren’t there yet. Jackson throws him around and dances a bit. He hits something like Old School and no sells a headbutt. See Jackson is black and in wrestling that means he has a hard head. Dropkick and a fisherman’s suplex get the pin. Squash.

The announcers talk about the Open Door Policy, which means if you want a match, talk to the promoter and they’ll try to get you one. That leads us to a video on the Texas Hangmen who are apparently violent. They shout a lot and no one, including the announcers, can understand it.

We talk about last week where Jeff Gaylord surprisingly joined up with JC Ice and we get a clip of Gaylord jumping Superstar Bill Dundee. Gaylord bailed on Downtown Bruno in the process.

Ronnie Leach vs. Jeff Gaylord

Gaylord is a power guy so he picks Leach up in a bearhug position and rams him into two corners. Backbreaker hits and he throws Ronnie to the floor. Apparently Ice has stolen all of Bruno’s talent, which means Bruno is heading to the WWF I believe. A modified powerbomb, the Dehumanizer, kills Leach and eventually a pumphandle slam gets the pin. Squash #2.

Dundee jumps Gaylord before Gaylord can go for an interview. Dundee rams him into the post to get rid of him. He talks about how he’s fighting to get his son Jamie (JC Ice) back. I forgot about that. Dundee says he’ll do whatever it takes to get him back and that includes beating up everyone that Jamie brings in.

Jerry Lawler will be at some hardware stores next week.

House show ads.

We hear about how Terry Funk won’t show up and defend the world title. We get a clip of him winning the title off Lawler in November. Eddie Gilbert tried to interfere and wound up costing Lawler the title. We also hear about the bounties that Funk put out over the last few months.

We finally hear from Funk for the first time in the nearly three months I’ve been watching this show. He’s being forced to come back to face Lawler in a rematch which will be two days after this show. Thinking of Memphis makes him spit and the people are even worse. Lawler is the worst of all of them but isn’t man enough to take the title from Funk. Apparently Jackie Fargo is going to be the referee again and Funk thinks he’s an old pervert. The match should be in Amarillo, Texas where men are men. Funk is only 46 here and he’s as evil as ever. Maybe he’ll stomp Fargo so Fargo’s heart will stop. That could be awesome.

Video on the career of Jerry Lawler. We get clips of him fighting probably 25 legends in a very impressive package. Pretty much every big name from the era (other than Flair, who I’ve seen Lawler face in Memphis when Flair was NWA Champion) is shown with Lawler beating them up, including both Funks, Hogan, Race, Savage, Rude, Hennig, and about twenty others. It’s really cool stuff. We also get a look at his work outside of the ring with kids. We also see clips from the Jerry Lawler Show, which is exactly what it sounds like and was a real talk/variety show that aired in Memphis. The whole thing runs almost nine minutes.

Mid-South show ad, including the Lawler vs. Funk match.

Lawler comes out and talks about the match coming up. It’s taken forever to get here but he’s ready. He’s not really fired up for it but is more calm and cautious. Win, lose or draw it’ll be his last match for awhile to heal from some injuries.

We get highlights from El Gran Pistolero vs. Danny Davis for the Light Heavyweight Title. Are there any matches on this show? The match is thrown out.

Davis says he was expecting a match and got a fight, and that’s not cool. He’ll fight Pistolero anytime.

Curtis Thompson/Brad Collins vs. Eric Embry/Tom Pritchard

Pritchard and Collins get things going. Tom and Eric are Texas guys so they keep explaining how awesome their home state is. It’s off to Embry who gets in some shots and then back to Pritchard. Both heels keep jumping between the apron and commentary. Pritchard tries a slingshot suplex that goes so badly it would make Tully Blanchard shoot himself so he could roll over in his grave. Embry hits a top rope headbutt for the pin. Thompson was never in the match.

The Texans make fun of Lawler and Tennessee.

Southern Heavyweight Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Steve Austin

The title is vacant coming in. Austin takes over quickly and stomps him down into the corner. JC Ice has the referee and Jeff’s small package is missed. Austin hooks a chinlock which only lasts a few seconds. Jeff tries to speed things up but walks into a knee to the stomach. Austin rolls him up in the corner and puts his feet on the ropes for two. A foreign object shot gets the same. Jeff hooks a quick sunset flip and gets the title back.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match ever but it was only a few minutes long and neither guy was all that great yet. This was more about pushing the Monday matches forward because of the post match stuff. Not much to see here and Jeff has the title back that he never really lost in the first place.

Jarrett gets beaten down by Austin and the other Texas guys but Eddie Gilbert makes the save. Jarrett says it ends Monday. Gilbert says bring on the blood.

Overall Rating: C+. This was much more like a go home show rather than a regular show which is an interesting change. The Lawler video is awesome and could easily be a HOF/retirement video all on its own. The matches were short here but it set up Funk vs. Lawler on Monday which is the whole point here. Good stuff but it could have been great with some better wrestling.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling
Date: February 15, 1986
Location: WPCQ Studios, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Bob Caudle, Johnny Weaver

This is another territory that I’ve touched on before and we’ll be taking another look at it here now. I only have one episode at the moment but if this goes well I’ll see if I can find some more. This isn’t the main WCW show but rather a territory still, although I’d bet pretty strongly that you’ll see a lot of the same people. Let’s get to it.

I’m a little sketchy on the time period because this show should be called World Championship Wrestling. This doesn’t look like the Atlanta studios though. The opening sequence says Mid-Atlantic too.

Upon further investigation (and by that I mean I did the World Championship Wrestling show from this date already), this is the B show and would be the forerunner to WCW Pro. I think I’ve got this now.

Caudle says we have new world tag champions but with him are the former champions, the Rock N Roll Express. They say they’re coming for Cornette and their titles.

Manny Fernandez vs. Mike Semani

No idea if I spelled that last name right. Manny takes him down immediately and does kind of a reverse leapfrog out of the corner and the Flying Burrito (that’s the real name. It’s a flying forearm) gets the pin.

Ron Bass says he thinks he’s stronger than Barbarian. If he wins whatever challenge that follows, he’ll get $10,000.

Arn Anderson, the TV Champion, rants about how Dusty Rhodes has apparently been stealing money from him.

Rock N Roll Express vs. ???/???

Two unnamed jobbers here. Robert starts with the one in green and after some armdrags it’s time for Ricky. Double dropkick to the second one and we’re done in 30 seconds. Replay shows that Robert’s literally missed by 10 inches.

We get a clip of Nikita saving Ivan Koloff from getting pinned by Magnum’s belly to belly. Baron Von Raschke came in for a 3-1 beatdown. Dusty tried to make the save but got beaten down as well. Baby Doll, Dusty’s chick, tried to help also but it only got Dusty beaten down even worse until the Road Warriors and Rock N Roll made the save.

Black Bart vs. Ron Rossi

Bart is a big evil cowboy and he wins with a middle rope double legdrop in about 20 seconds. This would be the case a lot.

Midnight Express vs. Rocky King/Ben Alexander

This would be Condrey and Eaton. The Rock N Roll Express comes out to watch and the place erupts. The jobbers are Rocky King and Ben Alexander. Not that it matters but I try to be informative. Top rope splash by Eaton, 45 seconds. That’s a long match for this show.

Buy the Starrcade 1985 video for just $40!

House show ads. Anderson isn’t worried about defending the title in a cage against Dusty.

Cornette says that the Midnights are ready for Rhodes and Magnum in South Carolina.

Dusty says he and Magnum want to take out the Russians.

Magnum says pretty much the same thing.

Nelson Royal/Sam Houston vs. Jim Jeffers/Tony Zane

Everything breaks down to start and we finally get it does to Houston and Zane. Houston is Mid-Atlantic Heavyweight Champion. Off to Royal who puts a knee in Zane’s ribs and it’s off to Jeffers. Royal dropkicks him down and it’s off to Houston for some abuse. Royal takes him down with a headlock takeover and Houston hits an atomic drop. This is going a lot longer than I thought it would. Royal uses a spinning toe hold to get the submission.

Rating: D. This was long and not that good. When I say long I mean about four minutes but for this show that’s a marathon. This could have been accomplished in about 45 seconds but I guess they had to fill in the time somehow. I don’t remember much about Royal but Houston would go to WWF soon and wouldn’t mean anything.

The Midnights say they’re awesome and any team can come after them that wants to.

Paul Jones and Barbarian say they’re sick of Jones being called a weasel. Bass’ challenge is accepted.

Ron Bass vs. George South

Bass throws him around and easily breaks any hold that South tries. Claw ends this quick.

More house show ads. Baby Doll says Arn has no chance against Dusty in a Texas Death Match. For the South Carolina show, the Midnights need to be ready for America’s Team.

Baby Doll is in the arena now and says Dusty is on a movie set in Arizona with Willie Nelson.

TV Title: Arn Anderson vs. Italian Stallion

The fans chant for Dusty which gets on Arn’s nerves. A quick rollup gets two for Stallion and he grabs an armbar. Arn finally wakes up and pounds on his back before sending Stallion to the floor. Now Arn hooks the arm as is his custom. The fans keep chanting Dusty as Arn stays on the arm. Arn literally works on it with basically the same hold for five minutes. He wraps it around the post a few times and Stallion makes his comeback. He charges into a hot shot and the gordbuster ends this.

Rating: D-. This is a good example of a match that is long but not good. The match runs almost ten minutes but like I said, almost seven or eight of that is a boring arm hold. When it doesn’t even play into the finish, that doesn’t make things interesting. It makes them long and uninteresting, which isn’t good. Really boring match.

Houston, Royal and Fernandez say they’ve got Magnum’s back against the Russians.

Overall Rating: D. I wasn’t that interested in this. You can tell that it’s the B show here as there’s not much of interest going on here. The main focus is on the two tag team feuds and Flair is nowhere in sight. It’s not the worst show I’ve ever seen but there’s nothing of note going on here. I might take a look at one more episode of this but if it’s not any better I won’t be doing more than that.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/fanvsfannetwork/2013/02/07/mouth-of-the-south-shore-radio-show

The whole show runs about an hour and a half.  I show up roughly half an hour in and there’s about an hour chat between myself and the host, mainly about 1998 Raw.  There’s an echo when I talk but it comes and goes.  Check it out.

AWE Night of the Legends
Date: October 15, 2011
Location: August Expoland, Fishersville, Virginia
Commentators: Chris Cruise, Dutch Mantell, Larry Zbyszko

This is a show that I’ve heard a lot of pretty bad things about for awhile now so you know I’m all over this one. It’s your typical “get some old guys together and have a show for a quick payday” deal with a main event of Ricky Morton vs. Kevin Nash. While that may seem random, they’ve had some legitimate heat between each other over some shoot interview comments. At least these guys are trying. Let’s get to it.

AWE stands for Awesome Wrestling Entertainment. You know we’re in for some good times tonight.

We open with a video talking about how tonight is the night the legends come home again. What legends live in Fishersville, Virginia?

The arena looks kind of like an old TNA arena but a bit darker. That’s not bad and WAY better than you get on some indy shows.

We’re told that AWE is AMERICAN. This is to prevent confusion with the Bolivian AWE.

The announcers talk about the show. Dutch Mantell is on commentary, just like at Heroes of Wrestling. I’m starting to have flashbacks.

Terry Funk vs. Tommy Dreamer

No DQ here because what else would it be? Dreamer is of course wearing an AWE shirt because if you want something advertised, call Tommy Dreamer. Funk immediately asks for a mic and says he always gets a physical before he gets in the ring. He yells at the fans but says he’s not supposed to be in a wrestler. Funk says he’s getting in the ring for the fans and Tommy Dreamer because Dreamer loves hardcore. Terry talks about getting older and meaner before blasting Dreamer in the face with the mic.

We head to the floor with Dreamer in trouble and getting a drink thrown into his face. Funk gets thrown into what looks like a school desk before Dreamer is thrown into a thick table. Terry starts throwing plastic chairs at Tommy and crotches him on the steel barricade. Back in and Funk fires off some headbutts including some on all fours. We head to the floor all over again with Dreamer being sent into the barricade again.

Tommy steals a drink and spits it in Terry’s face before heading back inside with a pair of chairs. They chop it out a bit and Dreamer is taken down onto a chair via a drop toehold. Funk goes after Tommy’s knee with a chair and puts on the Spinning Toe Hold. Dreamer hits him in the head with a chair, hits him in the ribs again, and rolls him up with a small package for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D. I do not like matches like this one. Terry Funk may think that he’s ready to be in the ring but he was 67 years old here and did not need to be out there in a wrestling ring. On top of that, the match itself was over out of nowhere (not that I’m complaining from one standpoint) as that small package hit in a flash. I’m guessing there was an injury in there, or perhaps they realized that a 67 year old man doesn’t need to be taking chair shots.

Funk takes out the referee because that’s what he does.

We get highlights of the match because twelve minutes of this isn’t enough yet.

Jamin Olivencia of OVW says that he’s ready to beat Sonjay Dutt again. When was the first match? In about forty seconds, he says Jamin Olivencia about 10 times. The Rock he is not.

Bill Apter, a famous publisher of the top wrestling magazines of the 80s, asks Sonjay Dutt about the upcoming match. Dutt doesn’t have much to say but it’s cool to see Apter.

Jamin Olivencia vs. Sonjay Dutt

Apparently these two are at least semi-regulars in AWE. They stare at each other a lot and Jamin shouts his name again. We immediately start talking about the main event as arm holds are traded. Jamin shouts for the third time and it’s a standoff. He starts to do it for the fifth but Sonjay grabs a headlock, making him the most popular act on the show so far. Really basic stuff so far until Sonjay nips up to slap Jamin in the face.

Things start speeding up a bit with Sonjay hitting a headscissors to send Jamin to the outside. Back in and Dutt snaps off a forearm to the head but Sonjay fires off even more shots to the face. What appeared to be a standing Lionsault is broken up and Jamin hits a running spinning splash for two. Off to a chinlock by Jamin for a bit until Sonjay fights out and sends him out to the floor. A BIG dive takes Jamin down and gets two back inside.

Olivencia hits a spinning clothesline for two but Dutt comes back with a running boot to the face and a springboard splash for two. Jamin comes back with a belly to back suplex to put both guys down. Sonjay fires off more kicks to stagger Jamin but gets hit by a jumping knee to the face. Olivencia backdrops him down but gets superkicked down as well. Sonjay wins a forearm slugout and we get the sunset flip/heel grabs the rope/referee kicks his arms free spot for two.

The referee gets bumped and Jamin hits a low blow on Sonjay, followed by the O Drop for the pin. What is the O Drop you ask? It appears to be a jumping DDT, but since the camera cut back to the referee with Jamin in mid jump, it might have been a carnival act similar to juggling oranges as 5000lbs of zucchini falls on Dutt for the pin.

Rating: C+. Until the ending here, this was getting pretty good. I’ve heard people say this show is at the level of Heroes of Wrestling or even worse which now scares me even more. Heroes had nothing of this level of speed or interest, so how bad can the rest of this show be? Anyway, these two looked good out there although Olivencia is pretty bland.

We get more highlights to eat up some time which I’m guessing is going to be a regular thing.

We get a clip from the contract signing for Morton vs. Nash. Nash signs with no issues and Morton talks about why he hates Kevin Nash. I kid you not, this is the explanation he gives: “Just go on the internet and type in ‘Ricky Morton hates Kevin Nash’ and you’ll find out what it’s all about.

Some heel manager (I think) named Rick Garrison joins commentary.

C.W. Anderson is ready for Perry Saturn.

Saturn cuts a goofy promo before getting even goofier.

Perry Saturn vs. C.W. Anderson

This is Saturn’s return match after being a homeless drug addict who people thought was dead for years. Saturn now has a tattoo on his face ala Mike Tyson. He also has a beer gut and no mustache now which is a weird look for him. Feeling out process to start with Saturn shoving Anderson into the corner. This appears to be the goofy Saturn again which isn’t really that fun to watch.

C.W. bails to the floor almost immediately and hits Saturn in the head with a chair as Saturn tries a suicide dive. Back in and Perry is busted open just a bit. Perry’s arm is sent into the buckle and we get our first psychology of the match. Off to an armbar as the match stays slow. A clothesline gets a very slow two count for Anderson and he throws Saturn to the floor for fun.

Back in and it’s back to the armbar as the announcers bicker about some nonsense. Anderson charges into a boot in the corner and Saturn takes him down with a bulldog. Back up and Saturn charges into a superkick for two but he comes back with a fast sunset flip for a very slow three count to win his return match.

Rating: D+. Considering this was his first match back in nine years, this was pretty good stuff. The problem here is mainly with Anderson. I’ve never gotten the appeal of this guy but he keeps getting work because of a few months he spent working with ECW near the end. Wrestling is funny that way.

Mohammed Akbar (OVW guy I think) talks about how he’s here fighting for Persian culture against Hacksaw Jim Duggan.

Duggan says he isn’t your usual old tough guy.

Mohammed Akbar vs. Jim Duggan

Akbar cuts a very generic heel promo about how rich he is which makes him better than us. Duggan finally cuts him off and it’s time to fight. We head to the ring and Jim slugs Akbar to the floor. It’s very clear here that Akbar is in WAY over his head here. A hiptoss puts Akbar down and we’re well into the usual Duggan formula here. Mohammed gets in a shot and hits the chinlock for a bit. After a minute long “bit”, Duggan fights up and hits the Three Point Clothesline for the easy pin. It’s as abrupt as it sounds.

Rating: D-. This was every Duggan match you’ve ever seen that fits the form of a Duggan match. Akbar is a guy from OVW and not a very good one at that. Duggan as the American patriot is about as basic gimmick as you could ask for and it will likely be kicking around some indy company for years to come.

Duggan yells at a whining Akbar post match.

Alex Silva, who I think was on Impact once, says that he’ll walk the walk against Finlay.

Finlay talks about experience and all that jazz.

Alex Silva vs. Fit Finlay

Silva has Tammy Lynn Sytch, aka Sunny, with him for no apparent reason. She has since been arrested six times in like six months so take this for what you will. Finlay shoves him down to start and knocks Silva to the floor with a forearm to the face. Back in and Finlay takes it to the mat with a headlock. Naturally the announcers talk about the main event in case someone has bought the show but doesn’t want to see the main event I guess.

Silva bails again and it’s back to a leg lock this time. We hit the headlock again as the match starts to drag already. Silva counters into a headscissors for about two minutes until Finlay fights up again. There’s an armdrag to put Silva down and Finlay fires off some knees to the back. A kind of Russian legsweep takes Silva down as we’re somehow over ten minutes into this match.

Finlay is sent into the corner where he tries to jump to the middle rope, only to fall down clutching his knee. We now basically stop all contact between the guys in the ring although Sunny does rake Finlay’s eyes a few times. Silva covers for two but then backs up again. Finlay drops to the floor and screams a lot but the referee won’t stop the match. We’re at four minutes now with no significant contact. Silva calls Finlay a coward so Fit charges back in and gets slugged down for a bit. Alex works on the knee with a DDT and stomps away a bit.

They head to the floor with Silva chopping away against the barricade and kicking at the knee a bit more. Back in and we hit another leg lock followed by a heel hook and an ankle lock. Even with the knee injury this is still very dull stuff. Finlay comes back with some chops but Silva sends him to the floor. Silva gets caught in the ring apron and Finlay pounds away before we go back inside. Finlay beats him up even more and manages a Regal Roll for two. Silva goes up but Finlay catches him in the Celtic Cross (think White Noise) but Tammy trips him. The distraction lets Silva hit Finlay low for the pin.

Rating: D. This was supposed to get Silva over, right? If that’s the case, this company has a very wrong idea about what it means to put someone over. This made him look like he couldn’t beat an old man without a freak injury, Sunny and a low blow. Why does that make me want to see Silva again? The match would have been boring with or without the injury so you can’t blame that either. Just a boring match.

Silva brags from the locker room.

Finlay says Silva better be out of the territory soon.

Short Sleeve Sampson vs. Abo Shongo

Now we get midgets. Oh joy. Sampson does a kind of rap but it’s absolutely awful and winds up with an “I say Short Sleeve, you say Sampson” chant. Shongo isn’t a midget and stands about 5’7, making this match even worse. The tale of the tape lists Shongo from Parts Unknown but Cruise says he’s from Cameroon. That’s the kind of show we’re dealing with here.

Sampson knocks him to the floor and tries a dive, only to stop when Shongo isn’t ready. As Abo comes back in, Short Sleeve crotches him and hits a low dropkick for two. Shongo clotheslines him right back down as this is already going nowhere. Cruise: “How do you pin a midget?” Dutch: “You lay him on the mat and hold his shoulders down for three.” Shongo hooks a cravate as this is going nowhere.

It’s off to a dragon sleeper for a few minutes until Sampson fights up and hits a dropkick. There’s an airplane spin by the midget and a low bulldog for no cover. There’s the “Inch Worm”….but Shongo rolls to the floor before it can hit. Shongo tries to throw some powder but it goes back in his own (painted white) face. Sampson finally finishes with a top rope splash.

Rating: D. It was stupid, it wasn’t interesting, it wasn’t a good match. Let’s get away from this so we can get on to the main event with people we might have heard of outside of Hulk Hogan’s Micro Championship Wrestling. Yeah you might remember Sampson from that so terrible it was great show.

We get another clip of the Nash/Morton contract signing with Nash hitting Morton with a chair. Apparently Nash’s partner was going to be someone named Marvin Ward but the Rock N Roll Express beat him up. This brought out the Midnight Express to beat up Ward as well. Diamond Dallas Page came out for the real save. This of course does not mean that Page is the mystery partner. Neither does Page being on the poster of the PPV along with Nash and the Express.

The RNRE, looking to be about 9000 years old each, say they’ll beat up Nash and his partner.

Nash says he doesn’t know why Morton hates him and says he doesn’t have anything to talk about. This goes on for awhile with mentions of Old Yeller. Ok then.

Rock and Roll Express vs. Kevin Nash/Diamond Dallas Page

Yeah to the shock of no one it’s Page. He’s in a t-shirt and jeans but at least he’s a big name to have in there. No mention is made of Page and Nash being former world tag team champions here. We start with Page and Gibson as Larry says Nash and Page never tagged together. Eh no one remembers 2001 WCW anyway.

Off to Nash before much happens but here’s Marvin Ward. Apparently he isn’t a wrestler but rather the AWE boss. This is now a one on one match so Gibson and Page are thrown out. Uh…..ok then? Oh and it’s now No DQ. So can’t Page and Gibson stay now? One more thing: Ronnie Garvin is guest referee, somehow looking younger than he did when he was world champion.

Nash pounds on Ricky to start and uses all of his power stuff. There goes the buckle pad and Morton takes Snake Eyes to bust him open. It hits again and Ricky is busted open. Back in and Nash gets two before choking away a bit. Morton slugs away again and pounds Nash down to one knee as this is starting to get decent. Nash comes back with a chokeslam but grabs a mic instead.

He asks what Morton’s problem is so Ricky goes into a rant about how this business is his life. Guys like Ronnie Garvin raised him in this business. Morton talks about how Nash was a jerk who was in it only for the money. Nash says if that’s Morton’s problem, then they don’t have a problem. They shake hands….and there’s a Jackknife to Ricky. Kevin grabs the mic and says of course it’s all about the money. “Why else do you go to work?” He doesn’t care about the fans as long as they keep buying his dolls and t-shirts. Nash isn’t one of the people suffering from the economic downturn…and he walks out for the countout.

Rating: I. We’ll call this incomplete. The match was good while it lasted but most of the match was spent talking about why they like the business. Other than that was only some decent stuff in the middle which was forgettable at best. This was the match that was set up for the entire show and what we got was good. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much of it that could be good.

Overall Rating: F+. This show is indeed terrible, but it’s certainly not Heroes of Wrestling bad. While that show was completely abysmal with the stupid skits and no idea of how to run a show, this at least had a few watchable matches. Dutt vs. Olivencia was some pretty decent stuff and is perfectly fine all things considered. It’s definitely not a good show or even a passable show, but there are FAR worse shows out there. This is much more forgettable than terrible which makes it less entertaining. It’s not worth seeing or anything and this isn’t going to be remembered in any distant time in the future.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

USWA Championship Wrestling
Date: February 2, 1991
Location: USWA Television Studios, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentator: Dave Brown

After Monday’s show, the tag titles are vacant. There was some kind of a controversial finish in the Fabs vs. Lawler/Jarrett and we’ll have a rematch two days after this show. Gee, I wonder if they’ll have Lawler talk a lot about it here. I’ve been enjoying these shows as they fly by pretty fast and Lawler is awesome at this point. Let’s get to it.

New Kids vs. Fabulous Ones

Tony dropkicks Stan down to start as Cornette is running his mouth on commentary. Miller is kicked down by Stan Lane the Karate Master so it’s off to Christopher. Brian superkicks Keirn down for two and Cornette is losing it. He goes to manage as Keirn can’t figure Christopher out. A backdrop finally puts him down so it’s off to Lane who gets caught in a quick sunset flip for two. Off to Tony who is slammed down with ease.

Jim is back on commentary to make the match that much better. The New Kids keep trying for a fast win because they can’t go man to man vs. the Fabs. Keirn slams Tony’s head into a chair on the floor and it’s back inside. Tony gets between Stan’s legs and makes the tag to Christopher. The Fabs double team him again and it’s back to the outside. Keirn is illegal and piledrives Miller for the DQ. It was a DQ at times and at times it wasn’t so it’s hard to keep up with.

Rating: C-. Not much of a match but this is how you give someone a rub. The New Kids weren’t proven yet so having them hang in there with a famous team like the Fabulous Ones and even pick up a win here is a great way to make the New Kids look a lot better. The Fabs couldn’t pin them which is a major key. Not a great match, but a good rub.

Lawler makes the save post match.

After a break Lawler says he’ll be at a sporting goods store today so come see him and get some free stuff. We get a clip from the tag title match on Monday where the Fabulous Ones cheated to hit three piledrivers on Jarrett. Lawler finally got the hot tag and cleaned house. The referee went down and Lane took a piledriver. Jamie Dundee, future wrestler but current referee, comes in to call for the DQ as the regular referee was waking up to count the fall.

Lawler says the titles are being held up and Dundee will be in their corner for the rematch on Monday. Also the special guest referee will be Jackie Fargo. That’s a huge deal. Lawler talks about the history with Fargo who mentored all three of them (Lawler and Fabs) and how the Fabs are nothing to be proud of now that they’re with Cornette. Solid promo here from Lawler.

Video on Jackie Fargo and his influence on the Fabs. This includes a clip from 1982 with Fargo saying if the Fabs ever changed their attitudes, he’d leave them.

Cornette talks about how the deck is stacked up against them because there’s no other way for Lawler to beat them. He says that after they get the titles, they’ll take out Fargo. That’s crossing the line to the Fabs and Keirn rips into him. They leave and Cornette is panicking.

Mid-South show ad.

US Male Curtis Thompson (a mailman) says he doesn’t want to be with Robert Fuller anymore. Neither does his new partner, who is named Chris Walker.

US Males vs. Bill Rush/Sgt. O’Reilly

So one of the guys is named US Male and the team is the US Males? So Walker doesn’t mean much at all here does he? Walker and the Sarge start and it’s off to the mailman quickly. Thompson slams him a few times so it’s time for Rush. A gorilla press gets about 10 reps and a suplex/cross body combination gets the quick pin.

Uptown Bruno’s boys run their mouths for a bit.

Brian Lee/Doug Gilbert/Dirty White Boy vs. Freezer Thompson/TD Steel/Night Train Jackson

White Boy and Thompson start us off and all of the heels get slammed. The first thirty seconds of this has Bruno saying one LONG sentence. Jackson has a pretty awesome name. Freezer gets taken down and it’s finally off to Steel. Jackson comes in and is immediately triple teamed and pinned. Squash here.

House show ads.

Lawler introduces some guys from the sporting goods store that he’ll be at later today.

We meet a new team called the Eliminators. One is in a mask and the other isn’t Kronus. The guy in the mask talks and that’s not Saturn so these are different Eliminators.

Eliminators vs. Keith Eric/Chris Frazier

The Eliminators go crazy and it’s a wild beating before the bell. We start with the masked one vs. Frazier with the latter being quickly thrown to the outside. Frazier gets thrown into the corner and a double team sets up a kind of top rope cross body/shoulder block for the pin. Total squash.

Mid-South show ads.

Cornette brings out the Fabs again and it’s the same thing again: Keirn will not jump Fargo, period. Since the last time they were here, a kid asked him to do anything but hurt Jackie. Keirn says he won’t fight Jackie no matter what and leaves. Cornette is freaking out and says they’ll win anyway because they’re awesome.

Tom Pritchard and Terry Garvin are here with Uptown Bruno and say they’re awesome, but they don’t want to be in Memphis. They support Funk, not Lawler and Dundee. Pritchard wants Jarrett’s Southern Heavyweight Title. Garvin says he’s a barber and is going to cut hair starting today. He says Danny Davis gets his blonde hair from peroxide, not his mama’s side or his daddy’s side.

Tom Pritchard/Terry Garvin vs. Danny Davis/Jerry Lynn

Pritchard and Davis start things off and that goes nowhere. Double tag to Lynn and Garvin and they run the ropes. Garvin hurts his knee on a leapfrog but he’s goldbricking. Lynn hits a king of tilt-a-whirl to take him back down and it’s back to Davis. His neckbreaker gets two and everything breaks down. Bruno sprays something on a towel and runs in to smother Davis with it, drawing a quick DQ.

Both guys are knocked out by the ether rag and Davis almost gets a haircut but the save is made.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a much better show as the stuff about Jackie was really interesting and a nice touch to add to the story. It makes this feel like a much bigger match rather than just another match where the tag titles are up for grabs. That’s really been missing from the shows so it’s nice to see them add it in. Good stuff.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Ring Ka King TV
Date: January 28, 2012
Location: Balewadi Sports Complex, Pune, India
Commentators: Siddharth Kanan, Joe Bath

After this, never let it be said that I don’t give the people what they ask for. I’ve gotten a lot of requests from people for this show so why not. This is the TNA related company formed in India. The name means King of the Ring in some Indian language. Odds are this is going to be the only episode I watch of it but if it’s good I might take another look. There are a lot of big named stars over there so let’s get to it.

We open with a musical performance. It’s an Indian performer who has a bunch of dancing girls. I don’t speak whatever language this is so I can’t say anything here. The crowd seems to dig it. I’ve heard there were about 1,500 people here which isn’t bad. The set is similar to Impact’s but in a bigger arena. Apparently this guy’s name is Mika.

After he’s done the ring announcer comes in and thank goodness she speaks English. That’s one of the main reasons I don’t watch puro: I have no idea what’s going on. And never mind as they’re in another language again. I think they’re saying it’s awesome to be here or something like that. She’s shifting between languages. Either that or some of the words are the same. There’s talk of a singles and tag titles and female wrestlers. She introduces the announcers and I have no idea what they’re saying. The fans seem to like them so maybe they’re known.

Now we bring out a guy named Harbhajan Singh, who appears to be a cricket player of some national renown. He’s listed as a Ring Ka King goodwill ambassador. Mika starts a chant of Singh is King or something like that. The singer wishes him good luck and that’s about it. I’m just trying to pick up what I can here. Mika leaves.

Singh talks some more and says something about international wrestling and Ring Ka King. The girls are still at ringside. He sends us to a video of a familiar face: Chavo Guerrero Jr. He talks about being around the world but that he’s never been to India and is here to become Ring Ka King Champion.

Chavo comes to the ring and Singh introduces someone else: Maxx B. He appears to be a boxing/fighting character but I don’t recognize him and he doesn’t speak English. The announcers talk about MMA during’ Maxx’s entrance.

Sir Brutus Magnus says he’ll win the title. He calls himself the International Athlete.

Next up is Doctor Nicholas Dinsmore, who is of course Nick Dinsmore, aka Eugene. I think these are just introductions of wrestlers. Dinsmore comes out in a medical outfit which is a character you don’t really see that often.

Sonjay Dutt has a dollar sign above his name and gets a huge pop due to being from India.

In sixth (they’re just standing in the ring) is Mahabali Veera, a muscular guy who doesn’t speak English either. He appears to be the tallest and most popular guy so far.

Next up is Scott Steiner who talks about his arms and short fuse.

Matt Morgan says he’s 7’0 tall which is still a lie. He’s here to become world champion. Morgan and Steiner came out to their TNA music. Morgan is in street clothes.

Now we move onto the Commissioner, a man named Jazzy Laharia who is with someone named Deadly Danda, who I guess is a bodyguard. I’m assuming Deadly is the guy in the military gear and has what appeared to be a sword. He’s almost as tall as Matt Morgan. Singh talks some more and I think these eight are going to be in a Heavyweight Title Tournament. The belt comes down from the ceiling and pyro goes off. The belt looks like the ECW Silver Title but with a sticker on the middle of it.

We get a quick video of all eight people here and a graphic saying Ring Ka King Heavyweight Title Tournament.

Now here’s Jeremy Borash who speaks English and talks to Morgan, who says everyone is honored to be in India. Magnus cuts him off and puts his arms around Dutt and Steiner and says they’re going to take over Ring Ka King. A brawl is started but Deadly Danda breaks it up.

Ring Ka King Heavyweight Title Tournament: Dr. Nicholas Dinsmore vs. Mahabali Veera

We’re about 25 minutes into the show not counting commercials and here’s the first match. And no I’m not holding that against them as it’s the debut episode. Dinsmore is basically the heel by default here. He cheats a top wristlock by pulling the hair to bring him down. Dinsmore sends him to the floor but Veera gets a sunset flip for two. Veera has a good look to him and moves well for a bigger (as in taller) guy. The referee is in a green shirt. Off to a chinlock by Dinsmore but Veera hits a spinebuster (called the Veera Bomb) for the pin at 2:59. Short but fine.

Magnus is on the phone in the back to his boss and talks about how he, Dutt and Steiner (all in the room) have three of the eight spots in the tournament and are going to dominate both it and Ring Ka King. It’s Magnus vs. Morgan in the first round.

Someone called Shera brings out American Adonis, who is more known as Chris Masters. He does the same entrance that he did as the Masterpiece. He’s a lot bigger than he used to be too so I guess the roids are rolling again. Masters says he’s here to prove that no one can break his Adonis Lock. Back to the old classics I guess. He’s put up a lock of Indian Rupees (whatever that means. A lock I mean. I know what Rupees are) to anyone that wants to try it. There’s a briefcase in there so I’m assuming it has the money in it.

A plant accepts the challenge and we get a referee and the chair. The guy is named Zed. What kind of a name is Zed? He’s from Pune and gets thrown all over the place in the full nelson. And he’s out cold in about 10 seconds.

Veera says something which I’d assume means he’ll win. Singh comes in and shakes his hand. Morgan comes up to shake his hand and says he hopes to see Veera in the finals.

Next week (I think) it’s Steiner vs. Maxx B and Chavo vs. Dutt in the tournament.

Ring Ka King Heavyweight Title Tournament: Sir Brutus Magnus vs. Matt Morgan

Magnus runs to the corner to start. Morgan gets his hands on him and throws him around with ease. Magnus gets sent to the floor and it’s time for a chase scene. Morgan misses a corner splash and Magnus takes over. A slam attempt fails as Morgan falls onto him for two. Off to an abdominal stretch by Magnus which Morgan easily escapes and starts his comeback. He beats Magnus up and hits a chokeslam, followed by the Carbon Footprint for the pin at 5:14.

Rating: D. This was a really basic and boring power match. I’ve seen far worse but there really isn’t anything going on here. Morgan looks like a force though which is the point of this. Not terrible but if Magnus is supposed to be the top heel in the company or at least the mouthpiece for it (no sign of him being a coward yet) shouldn’t he be treated as something better than a jobber to the stars like he was here?

Dutt and Steiner come in for an attempted beatdown but Veera makes the save. A tag team staredown ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. As a wrestling show it was boring but for a show designed to introduce us to the product, I can’t really complain much here. They set up the tournament and we have a top heel group already. Veera looks like a star (although we didn’t get to see much of him in the ring) and Morgan is his usual self. I probably won’t watch this again but it wasn’t that bad at all. The production values were very good and definitely at the same levels as Impact. Great debut and if you’re not familiar with these guys, it’s a great show. It’s probably not for fans that know the talent, though it’s worth a look.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

USWA Wrestling Challenge
Date: January 27, 1990
Location: Sportatorium, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Marc Lowrance, Terrance Garvin, Jerry Lawler

Here’s the final show I have for these guys at the moment. We’ve jumped ahead another three weeks so hopefully we get something a little newer here. Also am I missing something or has there been no Lawler in a long time? Anyway this show can’t get much more boring so let’s get to it.

As usual we open with a clip from last week where Adams/Funk beat up Braddock/Chu-Hi but Tojo came in for the DQ. Adams came back with a superkick to take out Chi-Hi and that’s it.

Some chick sings America the Beautiful.

Chris Adams vs. Texas Battleship

No idea who Battleship is but he’s good sized. The fans chant Superkick and they circle each other a lot. Battleship is sent to the floor and Adams hits a suicide dive to take him out. Back in a top rope superkick ends this quick.

Here’s Lawler who is defending against JYD next week. Lowrance wants to know when Kerry gets his title shot as well. Lawler runs down all of Texas and says that he’ll be champion as long as he wants. As for JYD, he may have brought himself up from the gutter but he’s getting homesick. JYD has become a religious man lately since he’s been praying for something to happen to keep him from having to face Lawler. As for Lowrance, the people aren’t clapping for him. They’re slapping their heads to stay awake. Lawler is going to sit in on commentary.

Texas Title: Chris Youngblood vs. Kerry Von Erich

Well Lawler is certainly better than Garvin. Lawler wants to know how Kerry can call himself a Modern Day Warrior when he’s a washed up has been. Kerry is defending of course. He wants Lawler gone for his match but Jerry is allowed to stay. Lawler leaves on his own so he can watch Youngblood take the title. Kerry punches Chris to the floor to start and grabs a quick Claw but Youngblood bails.

We take a break and come back with Youngblood chopping in the corner. There’s a guitar on a pole match coming up. Holy Russo Batman! Youngblood hooks a wristlock but Kerry comes back with a discus punch to tie Youngblood up in the ropes. Chris tries to leave so they fight on the floor with Kerry’s face going into the post. Kerry takes a chair to the back but it’s not a DQ. Kerry tries the discus punch but he hits the post.

Youngblood works over the hand now. He’s a Medicine Man if I didn’t mention that. Back inside and it’s time for an abdominal stretch. You know, after Kerry punched a steel post. Kerry escapes and loads up the Claw but Youngblood blocks it. Kerry settles for the Stomach Claw instead but Youngblood punches out of it and we head back to the floor. Back in the ring the discus punch hits again as does a piledriver. Youngblood is up way too fast so Kerry rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: C-. This match was nothing great but WOW what a breath of fresh air this was to have someone out there that was capable of showing some energy instead of just standing around and moving very slowly. Kerry may have been drugged out of his mind most matches but he could get a crowd going and that’s more than most people lately have been able to say.

We recap Jarrett vs. Travis. Apparently Travis has been dressing up in an Elvis jumpsuit and hitting people with a guitar. The solution: a guitar on a pole match. We also get a quick video on Jarrett.

Billy Joe Travis vs. Jeff Jarrett

Lawler comes back to do commentary. Jarrett jumps Travis as soon as he gets in and they head to the floor. It’s so weird hearing the voice of Raw on here. Back in the ring and Jarrett whacks him with a chair. Billy for the pole but Jarrett gets a great right hand to stop him. After saying the word superplex, Jeff hits one to take Billy down. Jarrett DDTs Travis on the table which doesn’t move an inch. There’s a piledriver on the floor and partially onto a chair. We take a break and come back with Jarrett tombstoning Travis and getting the guitar. That’s what you have to do to win. Ok then.

Rating: C+. This was basically a Jarrett squash. That being said, it was entertaining because the idea was to have Travis be the Honky Tonk Man character, as in the guy that everyone can beat but he keeps eluding them. Once you get someone in there that gets their hands on him and tears him apart, he doesn’t stand a chance. This was part of the blowoff for that and it worked pretty well.

Post match Lawler comes in the ring and beats down Jeff. Out to the floor and Jeff goes into the post. Lawler hits Jarrett with the guitar, breaking it after about three shots. Kerry Von Erich makes the save. Lawler sells his punches incredibly well. The numbers catch up with Kerry and Lawler gets in some shots with the handle of the guitar. Jarrett makes the save with a chair.

Overall Rating: C. See now THIS is more like it. It’s not a great show or anything but there was actual energy in these matches. Jarrett looked like a big deal, Kerry was his usual self with firing up the crowd, Adams was good for getting the people going and Lawler is his usual heat generating machine. I want to see Lawler vs. Von Erich now and I’d assume there’s a tag match coming with those four. If I find any more of these shows I’ll throw them up as this one would have made me keep watching.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

WWA: The Eruption
Date: April 14, 2002 (Taped April 13, 2002)
Location: Rod Laver Arena, Melbourne, Australia
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Disco Inferno

Back to these guys again for their third of five PPVs. It’s been about two months since the last show and we have a new world champion in the form of Nathan Jones who won the title about a week before this show. We’ve also got a vacant Cruiserweight Championship as Eddie Guerrero went back to the WWF so it’s mini tournament time! Let’s get to it.

The set looks like a volcano which is appropriate.

Sid Vicious, the commissioner now, is here and using a cane to walk.

A very confused Australian ring announcer screws up the name of the company and welcomes the announcers to the broadcast table that they’ve been at for at least three minutes now. I can understand screwing up the company name as World Wrestling Association as it’s a much more natural name.

International Cruiserweight Title Tournament Semi-Finals: AJ Styles vs. Nova

They slug it out to start as we can hear presumably the director talking through the headsets. Nova sends AJ into the middle buckle but AJ pops back up and runs him over with a shoulder. Nova clotheslines him down but AJ nips up into a hurricanrana to Nova back down. AJ tries another rana but Nova grabs him into a powerbomb position and does some lifts of AJ in an impressive power display before flipping him forward and onto his face for two.

Nova hooks a freaky looking three limb submission hold called Twisted Sister which only lasts for a few seconds. A BIG kick to the face gets two on Styles but Nova misses a Swanton. AJ picks up Nova for the Styles Clash (Director: “Finish.”) to advance to the title match later tonight.

Rating: C+. This was too short to be able to mean much as they were flying through this, no pun intended. The director was really distracting here as he kept talking about times and such like that. They really do need to work on fixing that as it’s really hard to ignore. Still though, good choice for an opener here as AJ would go on to become a big star in the near future.

Scott Steiner is here.

The Starettes dance a bit.

Quick video on Jerry Lynn arriving last month and attacking Eddie Guerrero.

Here’s Sid with something to say. Seeing him in a suit is a very odd sight. He said he needed to hear the fans again, which draws a pretty lame Sid chant. Sid thanks Andrew McManus, the WWA owner, for giving him this chance. He talks about sitting at home thinking he’s done in wrestling when McManus called him and asked him to come to Australia for a show.

As for Scott Steiner, he’s an amazing talent but he doesn’t want to play by the rules of the WWA. Sid officially makes him #1 contender and the match will take place tonight. He says he won’t be perfect but he’s glad to have one more shot at this. This is probably the most coherent you’ll ever hear Sid, which makes this pretty dull stuff.

International Cruiserweight Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Jerry Lynn vs. Chuck E. Chaos

Chaos is an Australian wrestler who gets a good reaction. He jumps Lynn as he comes in and pulls Jerry to the floor for springboard dive. As Chuckie comes back in, Jerry hits the spinning Fameasser and the cradle piledriver to end this in just over a minute.

Disco is having trouble with his audio and we get some bad small talk between him and Jeremy.

Puppet the midget is in the back yelling at some company guy. The audio here is terrible but I think he wants to kill his opponent Teo.

Puppet vs. Teo

Hardcore of course. Puppet runs his mouth before the match but Teo runs in to pound away. A running knee to Teo’s head in the corner is followed by a slingshot headbutt to the groin. Puppet heads to the floor to grab some chairs and here’s your out of context line of the night from Disco: “You have to pay to lick a midget?” Puppet drops Teo on three chairs set up in the middle of the ring for two. Teo hits a TKO for two before they horribly botch I think a Blockbuster.

Teo brings in a garbage can as we hear from the director again. Puppet comes back again (there’s less selling in this match than in Death of a Salesman. How’s THAT for mixing two different worlds?) with a Vader Bomb but Teo punches him down and hits a top rope Swanton bomb for two. Now Puppet is put in a trashcan while Teo pounds away with a chair. Teo brings in a ladder for a big splash onto the trashcan onto Puppet for the pin. I think this was the last midget match from this company.

Rating: D+. The hardcore stuff here kind of works for these guys. I’m still not a fan of them but at least they’re trying out there. Puppet would go on to annoy fans on TNA where he would pull a gun in one of his matches. Thankfully we’ve gotten to better midget wrestling in Hulk Hogan’s Micro Championship Wrestling. Not much else to say here.

Teo molests Steiner’s chick Midajah in the back.

Stevie Ray/Buff Bagwell vs. Ernest Miller/Brian Christopher

Buff and Christopher start things off with Brian dancing around like a schmuck. Instead of fighting Buff poses for a bunch of booing from the crowd. They run the ropes a lot until we get some weak hip tosses and slams. A bulldog puts Bagwell down and it’s off to Miller. Disco sums up the problem with Miller (and the future Brodus Clay) in general: If he wants someone to call his mama, why doesn’t he leave a number?

Bagwell takes Miller down with a swinging neckbreaker before it’s off to Ray for some more slow beating. The not hot tag brings in Christopher who is caught in a backbreaker and a kind of powerbomb for no cover. Off to a lame chinlock from Bagwell followed by a double clothesline to put both guys down. Brian hits an enziguri to set up the double tag so Miller can pound on Ray for a bit. Back to Buff who messes up a sunset flip before Miller does his gyrating. Everything breaks down and Stevie accidentally kicks Buff, allowing Christopher to hit the Hip Hop Drop for the pin on Bagwell.

Rating: D+. They took four guys and threw them into a tag match to fill in about ten minutes. While it wasn’t a good match at all and had ZERO heat from the crowd, what do you expect from guys like this? The match could only be so good given the talent in there, and it never was anything more than what it seemed like: filler.

Post match Christopher and Miller dance a bit. Thankfully the Starettes come out to join them. As do some fans. Disco: “What would Lou Thesz think right now?” Inferno can’t take anymore and tries to get in, only to be beaten up by Christopher and the kids.

Alan Funk, the Funkster, does his Hogan impression before fighting Pierre Ouellette and cutting a weird promo on the Rougeau Family.

Alan Funk vs. Quebecer Pierre

As in from the Quebecers in the early to mid 90s WWF. Before the match Pierre says he’s a former three time tag team champion of the world (take THAT Daniels fans!) before singing the Canadian national anthem. Thankfully (I think?) the Funkster breaks it up but Pierre runs him over and pounds away to start. Funk comes back with a few clotheslines but Pierre pounds him back down. The Hogan impression is decent but it’s not adding anything at all here.

Pierre runs him over again for two and hooks a sleeper. After that goes nowhere, Funk hits a springboard sunset flip for two before walking into a suplex for two for the French Canadian dude. A guillotine legdrop gets two on Funk and it’s time to Hulk Up. The big boot is blocked and Funk gets clotheslined right back down again. A running Liger Bomb sets up a Swanton Bomb for two for Pierre and now it’s the real Hulk Up time. Disco: “I know who he reminds me of now: BOBBY EATON!” They chop it out with Pierre taking over with more power stuff before the big boot and a piledriver set up the legdrop for the pin by Funk.

Rating: D. We get it: he’s a Hogan impersonator. He looks a lot like Hulk and has a few of the mannerisms down, but how much can you get out of something like this? It’s been done MANY times before and Funk really doesn’t do anything new with it. Then again it’s the same kind of thing you would expect from a mid level indy company.

Video on Nathan Jones.

Here are Steiner and Midajah to a big reaction even though he’s a heel. Scott talks about all the women he’s had in Australia and makes fun of Australian sports. Steiner offers to beat up someone from the crowd but here’s Nathan Jones to stare at Scott instead. Thankfully they’ve finally changed the design of the world title and it looks more like a traditional belt. Nathan comes to the ring but Sid (who is shorter than Jones) comes out to say save it for the main event. Steiner talks about how he broke Sid’s body and spirit so Sid says he’ll be the enforcer for the main event.

Video on the cruiserweights in the company.

International Cruiserweight Title: AJ Styles vs. Jerry Lynn

This has a twenty minute time limit. That’s the best they can do for their secondary championship? Don’t bother trying to make it feel important or anything. They head to the mat to start with neither guy being able to get an advantage. Jerry avoids a dropkick and we have a standoff. Styles flips out of a wristlock to put on one of his own and they flip around a lot before both guys try armdrags at the same time, resulting in a Lynn armbar. That’s a new spot for me.

Styles escapes a monkey flip but gets clotheslined down and hit with a backbreaker for two. Off to a surfboard by Lynn followed by a spinning inverted Gory Special. AJ comes back with his moonsault DDT for two and a big kick to the head for two more. Styles tries a tornado DDT but gets caught in a northern lights suplex into the corner instead to put him right back down. AJ knocks him out to the floor and hits a big flip dive to take Jerry down again as selling continues to be a foreign idea.

Back in and the dive gets two as Lynn is bleeding from the mouth a bit. The Styles Clash is countered into a rana from Jerry but AJ counters the cradle piledriver as well. We get a nice long pinfall reversal sequence with about five two counts each. Jerry finally kills AJ dead with a German suplex so Styles comes back with a neckbreaker for two of his own. Lynn hits a sitout powerbomb for two and gets the same off the cradle piledriver. Out of nowhere AJ counters a DDT and hits the Styles Clash for two of his own. AJ goes up top but gets punched in the ribs. Lynn’s superplex is broken up and the Spiral Tap gives AJ the title.

Rating: B-. This was fine for a spot fest but at the same time it felt like they were trying to have a classic rather than having one. The lack of selling was as annoying as ever with both guys taking big moves and popping right back up like it was a single chop. These two would have WAY better matches in TNA but those were a few months away.

Jerry shakes AJ’s hand post match.

A cage is lowered as we recap Devon Storm vs. Sabu. They’re both hardcore and have fought twice already. That’s about it.

Devon Storm vs. Sabu

In a cage as I said and apparently you can only win by pin here but “it doesn’t matter where the pin is”. Why do they have to over complicate these things? Storm hits a quick shoulder block to start and pounds away before Sabu comes back with a springboard DDT for two. Sabu hits a pair of springboard leg lariats for no count before Storm slams Sabu’s back into the cage twice to take over.

Sabu is busted open via another shot to the cage before Storm gets two off a top rope splash. Sabu’s back is bleeding now too. Apparently this fires him up enough to send Storm into the cage to take over. The bleeding guy finds a sharp object from somewhere and starts stabbing away at Storm’s head to bust him open as well. Sabu goes up top, only to get caught in a northern lights superplex to shift momentum again.

Devon finds a chair from somewhere to beat on Sabu with before hitting a northern lights suplex (popular move tonight) onto said chair for no cover. Storm wedges the chair between the ropes and of course gets rammed into it for his efforts. Sabu pelts the chair at Storm’s head before hitting Air Sabu in the corner. Air Sabu against the cage puts Storm down for an Arabian Facebuster but the triple jump moonsault off the cage misses completely.

A Death Valley Driver on the chair gets two for Storm so he goes to the floor (not a win) and sets up a piece of guard rail between the steps and the barricade. Sabu kicks Storm in the face on the floor as both guys are now out of the cage. Sabu pulls out a table and they slug it out a bit. Devon suplexes Sabu onto the bridged piece of railing and we stall a bit more. There’s a table set up next to the ring so Storm pulls out two more in addition to the set one.

Storm stacks another table on the set one as this has stopped being a cage match in any form. A DDT on the floor puts Sabu down for half a second and Storm puts Sabu on the top of the two tables. There’s a BIG dive off the cage to put both guys down yet again. Another table is set up back inside the cage (remember that?) but Storm throws a chair through the door to put Sabu down.

Sabu comes back with a fireball to pop the crowd huge. He puts Devon on the table and hits a moonsault off the top of the cage onto Storm….but the table doesn’t break. An Arabian Facebuster off the top of the cage is FINALLY enough to break the table and get the pin on Storm.

Rating: D. This was violence for the sake of violence which isn’t my style at all. On top of that, having the guys leave the cage is always annoying as it defeats the purpose of having a cage. The big splash through the tables looked great but other than that all we had here were the same brawling spots we’ve already seen from these guys.

The announcers talk about a sweepstakes while the cage is taken down.

Midajah vs. Queen Bea

Evening gown match. Bea is a Penthouse Pet who only had like four matches ever. They can’t wrestle, they look good in their outfits, Bea’s underwear is blue and she loses in less than two and a half minutes. The midgets come out and strip Midajah for fun.

WWA World Title: Nathan Jones vs. Scott Steiner

Scott is challenging here and punches Jones in the corner. Oh and Sid is outside enforcer. Jones beals Scott down and they collide a few times. Steiner flips Jones off which earns him another shoulder from the champion. Jones knocks Steiner to the floor so Steiner knocks Jones to the floor. The champion hits a slingshot clothesline back in for two before pounding away in the corner.

Steiner immediately comes back by shoving Jones over the top and out to the floor. Jones is whipped HARD through a barricade as we continue to hide the severe limitations of both guys. Back inside and Steiner hits a backbreaker to put Nathan down again. There are the pushups followed by some yelling at the fans by the challenger. Off to a lame bow and arrow hold by Steiner and a low blow to keep Jones down. A northern lights suplex (why is that so popular tonight?) keeps Jones in trouble so Steiner can put on…..a Sharpshooter? It’s horrible as you would expect but it’s more strange to see than bad.

We hit a bearhug from Steiner which he ends himself with an overhead belly to belly to put Jones down. Scott pounds away but Jones comes back with a side slam to get himself a breather. A clothesline sets up a very awkward looking elbow drop by the champion who follows that up by literally falling off the top rope on a clothesline attempt. Literally, he fell forward with no vertical leap at all. Jones loads up the chokeslam but Midajah jumps on his back.

Steiner stops to yell at Sid for a bit, causing Jones to try a pair of quick rollups for two. Scott pokes the champion in the eye and slams him down, only to jump into the chokeslam. Midajah makes the save so Sid loads up Midajah for the powerslam. Another referee stops him and in the melee Steiner hits Jones with a belt shot. The Steiner Recliner gives Scott via arm drops.

Rating: D. This wasn’t that good at all. At the end of the day, Jones was all look and almost no substance whatsoever. As bad as he looked beforehand, the falling off the top rope turned the whole thing into an even bigger joke than it already was. Sid was only there as a means to the end of the match and added nothing else. The whole match was a clash of styles and neither guy was good enough to carry the other to anything above terrible.

Sid raises Scott’s hand post match but wants a title match later. Scott leaves without saying anything before coming back to say let’s do it right now. Sid stumbles over saying he’ll fight if he’s able. Now that’s the babbling Vicious we know and love….for some reason.

Overall Rating: D. These shows aren’t very good. Now to be fair at this point there was no TNA so this was literally the best English alternative to WWE. A lot of these guys would go on to appear in TNA but while they were here there wasn’t much to see from them. The show goes by fast but there’s absolutely nothing on here worth seeing. It isn’t terrible but it falls into that category of you see it and never think of it again after a day or so.

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