IMG Credit: Major League Wrestling

Fusion #111
Date: November 18, 2020
Location: Gilt Nightclub, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jared Saint Laurent, Rich Bocchini

I’m not sure what to make of things around here. Last week’s show wasn’t the worst but it also didn’t exactly live up to the expectations I was hoping for around here. It’s time to start the Opera Cup again and while it’s a nice idea, it’s not like the first one was a blow away idea. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a quick preview of tonight’s first round Opera Cup matches.

Opening sequence.

We look at the end of last week’s show with a new member of Contra attacking Alex Hammerstone.

Earlier today, Richard Holliday didn’t think much of Contra and promises that Hammerstone will be fine. He runs into Gino Medina, who claims he quit the Dynasty while Holliday insisted he was fired. Medina implies violence by the end of the night.

Opera Cup First Round: TJP vs. Richard Holliday

Holliday has the Caribbean Title held up but makes it clear that this is non-title. The bigger Holliday shoves him down without much effort to start so TJP runs the corner for a headlock takeover. A basement dropkick sends Holliday bailing into the corner for a breather and the threat of the Octopus sends Holliday to the ropes a moment later. We settle down to TJP working on a hammerlock, followed by an armdrag to frustrate Holliday even more.

TJP slips out of a suplex attempt and hits a dropkick to the back. Holliday is knocked outside and that means it’s the Wrecking Ball dropkick to keep him in trouble. Back in and TJP gets crotched on top to finally give Holliday control. Holliday starts stomping away at the leg before switching over to the arm. TJP is right back up and slides through the legs to grab a Sharpshooter. Make that a Muta Lock, followed by a Pentagon arm snap.

Holliday’s arm is fine enough to drop TJP onto the apron but TJP snaps off a top rope hurricanrana. Holliday plants him back down and grabs the chinlock, which is enough to start TJP’s comeback. A not great looking tornado DDT sets up Three Amigos but Holliday hits a spinebuster. The Market Crash finishes TJP at 10:25.

Rating: D+. Not their best showing here as it was just a collection of moves that took up about ten and a half minutes. I’ve seen better from both of them so maybe it was just an off night. Either way, this wasn’t quite the best way to start off the tournament, which isn’t exactly thrilling in the first place.

The Von Erichs wish you a happy Thanksgiving. They’re coming for Team Filthy too.

We look back at Myron Reed retaining the Middleweight Title over Brian Pillman Jr. and calling out Lio Rush as his next challenger.

Lio Rush likes the idea of a big debut with a big title shot.

We look at King Mo knockout out Low Ki (thanks to some interference) earlier this year.

King Mo wants the doctors to keep Low Ki out of the ring because his head is too scrambled.

Dan Lambert wants to know why Low Ki is in the Opera Cup but King Mo isn’t.

Salina de la Renta interrupts the announcers and wants to know who tried to get her contract broken. She is running the January 6 episode and no one is canceling that.

Calvin Tankman vs. Robert Martyr

This is Tankman’s debut and he’s a rather large guy who can move around well. Tankman starts fast with a dropkick and chops Martyr down in the corner. Martyr runs into a backbreaker and the Tankman Driver (Drill Claw) finishes at 1:14. Total destruction.

Tankman dedicates that to his baby and now he wants to beat everyone in his path to the World Title. That was to the point.

Alex Hammerstone has ribs, neck and back injuries.

Hammerstone calls in and says the injuries aren’t even keeping him out of the gym, let alone the ring. Contra hacks the feed though and promises to end Hammerstone.

Opera Cup First Round: Rocky Romero vs. Tom Lawlor

Team Filthy is here with Lawlor and I’ve missed the I HAVE COME TO KILL YOU theme. Romero blocks an early takedown attempt and grabs a headscissors on the mat as the grappling begins. Romero’s rollup gets two and it’s off to a cravate, which Lawlor reverses into one of his own. That doesn’t go anywhere either so Romero grabs a headlock to slow things down.

Lawlor wins a battle of shoulder blocks but Romero dropkicks him to the floor. A running knee off the apron drops Lawlor again and we hit the chinlock back inside. There’s the Octopus to have Lawlor in even more trouble so he slowly walks to the ropes. A headscissors takes Lawlor down but he pulls Romero into a bow and arrow hold. With that broken up, it’s a Hennig necksnap into a sliding clothesline for two on Romero. Lawlor grabs a Fujiwara armbar before switching to a double arm crank.

That’s reversed into something like a crucifix with a Crossface (that’s a new one) with Lawlor making it over to the rope. Lawlor starts cranking on the leg until Romero uses the good one for an enziguri. Romero’s guillotine choke is countered into an exploder suplex but he’s right back with another tornado DDT.

Lawlor gets tied in the ropes for a middle rope stomp to the back. A running Sliced Bread gives Romero two but Lawlor is right back with Lars Sullivan’s Freak Accident. They strike it out until Lawlor gets two off a backslide. With the rear naked choke not working, Lawlor uses his legs to grab a cradle for the pin to advance at 17:43.

Rating: B-. Good back and forth match here which might have gone a bit longer than necessary. The most important part here though was that it felt like an important match with Lawlor hanging in there to win in the end over a game Romero. It wasn’t a classic, but it did what it was supposed to do and worked well enough.

Post match Lawlor says he is coming for the Opera Cup to add his name to the list of winners.

Overall Rating: C. This was almost all about the tournament and Contra, which seems like it could be the case for a long time to come. Much like last week, what we got here was fine though it wasn’t anything memorable. MLW has a tendency to not have the big fight feeling and that has been the case so far. Maybe they need more time, but it isn’t exactly promising so far.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Highspots

Lucha Aboveground
Date: May 5, 2019
Location: Hebron Hall, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Colt Cabana, Marty DeRosa

This is one of the shows I picked up in the big Highspots sale earlier this year and this time around it’s a video download, meaning I have even less to go on. We’re looking at $5 Wrestling this time around and I’m not exactly thinking this is going to be the most serious stuff in the world. Let’s get to it.

As usual, this isn’t a promotion I know anything about so I’m sorry in advance if I miss any plot points (if there are any).

Colt and Marty speak some Spanish to open the show with Colt not being pleased with the quality of his seven grade Spanish class education. We get a preview of the show, with various wrestlers being named with El in front of their names. Even the referee will be under a mask!

They are even going to have a five (or six) way match with the loser getting unmasked. Colt: “And more money for losing his mask.” Colt has also been giving Rush commentary lessons in exchange for teaching him Spanish. The two of them bicker a bit about throwing it to an interview and no, they don’t think that will be edited out. This isn’t going to be the most serious thing in the world is it?

Interviewer Jake Manning is with Mr. Thunderbolt, who has been having a social media feud with Jeff Hart that only Manning knew about. Thunderbolt talks about how there was a guy who thought he was too good for $5 Wrestling a few years ago, so he can come see Thunderbolt today. Then he speaks some Spanish and Manning says the guy who runs Lucha Underground is ticked. As for Hart, who says he is from Canada, Thunderbolt has a George South shirt, which is pink and black. That’s as close as Hart is ever going to get to being Canadian.

Apparently Hart has said he b**** slapped a woman, and since Thunderbolt (a man) is Ladies Champion, that isn’t cool. Then Hart kept running his mouth and Thunderbolt knows that he is a crack mouth (Jake: “And a meth mouth.”). This is wrestling, and Hart needs to either get ready to get hurt or get out of the business. Last time Hart challenged Jake Manning so tonight, Thunderbolt will fight for him.

Manning interviews Jeff Hart, who threatens to break Manning’s hand. Hart won’t look at the camera and calls Thunderbolt a b****, just like every American woman. See, Thunderbolt can’t understand English and Hart will destroy the storm. He can beat up a tornado and he’ll do it again. Manning mentions Matt Hardy’s old “I can slam a tornado” theme so Hart threatens to slap him again.

Hart is a legend and wants to face the Great Muta and Abdullah the Butcher. Manning looks astounded as Hart threatens to stab Abdullah in the fork (yes in the fork). Hart: “Iron Sheik, go f*** your mother!” Manning, seemingly trying not to burst out laughing: “Anything else you have to say?” Hart: “Jake Manning, go f*** yourself.” You can hear the production team laughing out loud as Hart walks off. Hart had an accent and seemed to have some kind of a speech issue and the interview kind of implied he had some mental trouble as well, so this was more than a little awkward at times. Funny, but awkward.

Mr. Thunderbolt vs. Jeff Hart

Colt and Marty are on commentary and we can see them watching from behind ala Mystery Science Theater 3000. We even have a masked lucha referee. Thunderbolt jumps him before the bell to start fast and Thunderbolt, who looks to be near middle age, hiptosses him down a few times and hits a delayed slam. Back up and Hart bails to the floor, leaving Thunderbolt to drop to the mat with no one there to jump over him. Hart stalls on the floor and yells at a woman dubbed Local Babe.

Back in and the headlock doesn’t last long for Thunderbolt so he runs him over with a should. We get some miscommunication so Thunderbolt grabs a headlock (Colt: “Just grab a head kid!”) to take him over. That’s reversed into a headscissors as commentary mocks Hart’s lack of mobility. Thunderbolt manages to handstand his way to freedom and grabs a headlock. That stays on for a good bit as Thunderbolt talks to Hart a bit. Some bad choking goes on and it’s time to discuss what kind of drink Hart would prefer.

A distracted referee doesn’t see Hart get in a low blow so Thunderbolt rolls to the floor for a breather. Hart’s running leg nudge hits Thunderbolt and the referee trips as he follows them out. That’s about as par for the course as you could get around here and I’m glad to see it. Back in and Hart kicks away (Marty: “Eat your heart out Miz.”) but Thunderbolt starts firing up.

A clothesline connects and they’re both down again. Back up and a running….uh….well contact of some kind takes Hart down for two. Commentary can’t believe that a kid is yawning again in the front row but get distracted by Hart trying a Stunner but Thunderbolt falls backwards. Somehow that’s enough for Hart to get the pin at 9:44.

Rating: D+. Oh I was right about what I was getting myself into here and I’m cool with that. You had two rather overweight guys doing their thing out there (whatever that thing is supposed to be) and while it wasn’t exactly a masterpiece (or even anything resembling good), that was kind of the point and it worked well enough.

The crowd is uh, not quite impressed. Cabana: “MUY BIEN!”

Raider Rock (who looked to be about 52 years old and has a growth on his face) is ready to defend the honor of his student, Psycho, against King Jeremy Snaker. Psycho was injured in a car wreck and Rock has a bad elbow. Last night, Raider cheated to beat him (Manning: “Nobody saw that but it happened!”) but he’s ready to dominate, terminate and exterminate. Manning calls him out for saying his catchphrase really fast and explains how important a catchphrase is. Rock tries it again and gets it a little better this time.

Jeremy Snaker, with his valet Avril, talks about beating up Rock yesterday (with Manning again saying that no one saw that) and won’t answer questions about Avril being an old flame. Manning has been watching the Dark Side of the Ring on Macho Man and Miss Elizabeth so he tells Avril to stay away from Lex Luger. Snaker hopes Rock can keep up and no he didn’t visit Psycho in the hospital. Avril says Rock and Psycho got what they deserved.

So if you’re not getting this, the idea is that these people either aren’t wrestlers or actors. It’s being presented like they were brought in off the street but have characters and history, which does kind of fit into the overall theme. It’s taking a lot to get used to, but Manning is making it work by playing it mostly straight. Or as straight as you can be in a situation like this.

UCWF Title: Jeremy Snaker vs. Raider Rock

Rock is challenging and has a bad arm but demands that it’s title vs. career. Snaker takes him into the corner to start and kicks away as commentary tries to recap the story again. As commentary makes fun of Snaker for being dressed like Diesel, Snaker hits a piledriver and grabs an armbar. Snaker goes after the leg to change things up, with commentary not getting the logic. Rock takes him down before they awkwardly collide in the corner.

Snaker awkwardly kicks and chops in the corner before completely whiffing on a running enziguri, sending commentary into hysterics. Another missed superkick sends Rock into the corner anyway and a spear gets two. A very sloppy Pedigree (Colt: “That’s a Pedi-disagree.”) gets no count as Rock pops up (work with me here) and dropkicks the knee. Rock grabs a half crab and pulls back on the chin for the tap and the title at 4:33.

Rating: C. This was entertaining in a completely horrible way and that’s what they were shooting for. I’d be curious to know where they find these guys but that makes it all the more mysterious….I think. The Pedi-Disagree line was great and got an actual chuckle, which you don’t get very often out of a show like this. Keeping it short was important too, but it’s not like the wrestling is important in the slightest around here.

Post match Rock says he’s getting rid of his demon (?) side, meaning no more face paint.

Manning is with Wrestle Ranger (a guy in a cheap looking White Power Ranger costume, but today he’s LUCHA LIBRE Ranger. They aren’t sure about the copyright issues but they’ll roll with it anyway. Tonight, Ranger is in a five (or possibly six) way match where the loser must unmask.

It’s ok though, because he’s used to working with five other people and he’s usually the best of them all. Manning: “I should have watched more show I must not speak of.” After hoping that Zordon is the right reference (Manning: “It’s either him or Gandalf.”), Manning asks Ranger about his chances, with Ranger crediting his special coin. That sends us into references of Super Mario, Transformers and Voltron.

One Horned Liger is back in $5 Wrestling and he’s glad that he was asked to return. He even has all new gear, even though he has been unmasked before. Manning takes the blame for this, saying he had been drinking a lot that night. Liger: “If it happens, it happens.”

El Moono Dos vs. El Quako vs. Miguel Leavy vs. One Horned Liger vs. Wrestle Ranger

Everyone is in a mask and I think this is one fall to a finish. The masses go after the huge Quako until Moono spinebusters Ranger. Liger gives Moono a Codebreaker (for a face first fall) into a Cannonball in the corner for two and it’s ranger chopping Moono out to the floor. Quako comes in for a double chokeslam but falls down himself, allowing Leavy to hit a basement dropkick.

Miguel hits a Samoan driver for two on Ranger and it’s Quako hitting running splashes in the corner. The big splash crushes everyone as Quako’s shorts have mostly fallen down. Ranger and Liger clear the ring until Liger dives onto a bunch of people at once. Ranger slips on a springboard before diving onto even more, leaving Liger to hit a Swanton for the pin on Leavy at 5:16.

Rating: D. This was the first match on the show that was neither good nor funny, which brought it way down. For the first time it felt like they were trying too hard for the gag and even the shorter length didn’t help things. The botch felt right at home, but there was too much going on here to make it work.

Post match Leavy is unmasked as….Mike Leavy. This is treated as a big surprise.

Leavy says he is here because he is in demand and his manager insists no one can handle the Strong Arm. Maybe he can start losing to bigger and bigger names! Jake Manning things he could be the Jim Duggan of the promotion. Mike: “I hope to win. Realistically I might not.”

Little Donnie is ready to challenge Big Donnie and Porkchop Cash Jr., but he doesn’t have a partner. He isn’t picky though. The Burke County Boys (Big Donnie and Porkchop) come in to say they’ll give Little Donnie another beating. Little Donnie says he’s gotten beaten up a few times before, sending Manning into a rather nice speech about how he wishes he could be Little Donnie’s partner but he has to work the camera. And now we’re done because the knots on Little Donnie’s head are making Manning uncomfortable.

Terry Houston vs. Black Angel

Houston jumps him from behind as commentary laughs about their attires. Some shots to the face have Angel in trouble so Houston very slowly walks around. A slam gives Houston two and it’s time to choke a bit. Angel slowly fights up and hammers away so Houston hits a headbutt. This goes as poorly as you would imagine and it’s Angel getting in a swinging neckbreaker for the pin at 4:01.

Rating: D. Yeah the charm is wearing off fast with this show and that’s not going to make the last two matches much easier to watch. This was the battle of the big men and thank goodness it was short. Even with the four minute run time, there was a lot of stalling, making me long for the days of the Colossal Jostle.

Post match the Burke County Boys run in to beat down Angel but Little Donnie runs in for a failed save attempt. Cue Jeremy Snaker to stomp on Little Donnie as well, followed by El Moono for the same. Now Raider Rock joins in too (Cabana: “Come on creative team. We’re doing this?”) but we get…the 20^th Century Fox theme?

Now it’s Dynamite, a bald guy who seems more interested in dancing with the fans than making a save. He walks around the ring, (accidentally knocking over a young girl in the process), poses and dances some more….and then leaves, all while Little Donnie has been taking a horrible beating (as in the beating itself was done horribly). Hold on though as the music starts again and this time Dynamite comes out in his wrestling gear for the actual save. Dynamite clears the ring and we’re making this a tag match.

Burke County Boys vs. Dynamite/Little Donnie

For some reason, Little Donnie tarts despite barely being able to stand. The huge Big Donnie splashes him in the corner and Cash comes in for two off a suplex. Little Donnie fights up for a chop off (Commentary: “BIG CHOP! PORK CHOP!”) and it’s back to Big Donnie to keep him in trouble in the corner. A big splash to the back set up a rather large Rings of Saturn before Cash is back in for some fish hooking.

Little Donnie fights up with a snapmare and cranks on both arms, because he’s not that bright you see. Big Donnie comes back in for a jumping kick to the chest (rather generously called a dropkick) and we hit the chinlock. Little Donnie finally gets up, hits Big Donnie once, and walks over for the tag to Dynamite.

House is cleaned as a manager we saw earlier in the night comes out to check on the fan Dynamite ran over earlier. Big Donnie hits a splash for two on Dynamite (Marty: “What did Dynamite do to that man???”) but pops back up with a cutter for his own two on Cash. Dynamite and Big Donnie fight to the floor with Dynamite chasing the Boys off with a chair but it’s a double countout at 7:29.

Rating: D+. This actually had a story to it but the joke of them being so inept at what they’re doing wore a little thin. Having an actual story, at least one which seemed to have some legs to it, is a nice change of pace though and we haven’t seen that throughout the show so far. Bad match, but it was nice to see a different presentation.

$5 Wrestling Champion Freight Train, sounding like a bit of a country hick, says he’s ready for Deon Johnson tonight. Deon isn’t going to take him off the tracks and Train isn’t letting Johnson get away with what he has been saying. He also isn’t saying Johnson’s tag partner’s name because he isn’t on the show. Train even calls out Johnson’s sister (Deonna) to come to the ring and take a Train Wreck of her own. She can go “crying like a woman” when she sees her brother getting beaten up by the Freight Train.

Yes he has a big gut because of all the beer and fried chicken but he’s been exercising because he doesn’t back down from no man. Train has a smooth belly and knows how to cut promos real good (his words) and he’s tall like Shaquille O’Neal. It’s Choo Choo time and he’s going to do some Shaq Fu tonight. Train: “I used to play the Shaq Fu game.”

He talks about playing it on Super Nintendo AND Sega Genesis before throwing a few kicks of his own. Train apologizes for sweating like a preacher while cutting his promo, because it’s hot in here and he’s sweating while cutting a promo. He promises to “smack the Hershey chocolate” off of Deon Johnson three different times and yes it’s Choo Choo time.

That was one of the most fascinating promos I’ve ever seen and it was actually in a good way. It started off sounding like it was going to be stupid and stereotypical, but Train was so incredibly bad and just kept going that it went back around and became funny. He repeated things multiple times, had some of the longest run on sentences I’ve ever heard and rambled beyond belief, all of which combined to make the whole thing incredible. It went on for the better part of five minutes and I wound up wanting to hear more. Well done, albeit by being so bad.

$5 Wrestling Title: Freight Train vs. Deon Johnson

Johnson is challenging and has strawberry themed gear. They talk trash to start, with the much bigger Train shoving him down. More staring ensues and Deon powers him into the corner, only to get bopped (not so much punched) n the head for a trip to the floor. Back in and the trash talk continues until Deon fails at a slam attempt. Train slams him down with ease and it’s time to stall some more.

Back in and Johnson unloads in the corner, only to get knocked down with a single shot. A low blow finally slows Train down and Johnson kicks away at his knee. Johnson’s manager (billed as Ric Flair’s nephew) chokes Train in the corner, meaning that Train can do more of his form of selling, which is him making various wincing faces while standing still in the corner. Train knocks him down again and we hit the chinlock, which doesn’t touch the chin and doesn’t seem to have much locking included.

That’s good for two arm drops before Johnson fights up and actually knocks Train down. Johnson drops an elbow for two and we hit a facelock, again minus the lock. For a bonus, Johnson rubs his gum over Train’s head and then takes out his teeth to put them in Train’s eye. Hold on though as Johnson gets in a shouting match with Dynamite in the front row. Train hits a running splash in the corner and CHOO CHOO sets up a running forearm (which looked like it was out of a wrestling scene in a sitcom) to retain the title at 9:22.

Rating: C-. Much like Train’s promo, this is firmly in the “so bad it’s funny” category, which works out well for the entire show. Train is one of the more interesting people to watch on the whole show, even though he might be the worst performer around. He’s literally just a big guy who jogs people over and that’s all he needs to be. It’s terrible, but it’s a funny kind of terrible and that’s ok.

Post match Train’s manager and Dynamite come in to celebrate.

Commentary talks about how Dynamite, who was retired, is creeping back in and seems ready to steal the show again. They recap the event and no one is happy with Jeff Hart being back. Cabana talks about how we need a fake Jake Roberts and a fake Diamond Dallas Page. If you’ve never wrestled before, come on down and we’ll put you on the roster! Commentary signs off, but not before mocking fans who have downloaded or torrented the show. Cabana: “It’s five dollars!” More quick jokes about how awesome this show is wrap us up.

Overall Rating: C. As you could probably tell by…well really just the title of the show, this is pure comedy and is absolutely not meant to be taken seriously. The wrestlers are bare bones trained and that’s the entire joke. The best way to put it would be that this is a bunch of people doing wrestling things instead of actually wrestling. It’s a joke that can get old at times but then they have something that makes me laugh and it makes things a little bit better.

Probably the most important thing though is this show lasts an hour and a half. They don’t overstay their welcome, which means the world on a comedy show. It isn’t quality and it isn’t something I want to watch regularly, but for the price (and I got it on sale) and some of Marty and Colt’s jokes, watching a random show from these guys is not the worst idea.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WCPBTW

WCPBTW Memorial Weekend Professional Wrestling Super Show 2018
Date: May 26, 2018
Location: Pickaway County Fairgrounds, Circleville, Ohio

This is an indy show that a reader asked me to look at, and it turns out to be the same company that Jim Cornette had plugged for a long time. The company is (or at least was) owned by Bobby Fulton of the Fantastics and since they were my NWA tag team of choice, this could be interesting. I’m curious to see how something like this goes so let’s get to it.

I have no idea of any storylines, characters or anything else coming into this so if I miss something of note, please bear with me.

The ring announcer welcomes us to the show and I can barely understand a thing he is saying. Another man gets in the ring with him and the fans don’t seem pleased. Apparently that man is Bobby Fulton, who owns the promotion and says something about 41 years in wrestling. I really wish I could give you more than this but I can’t understand more than a word or two here or there. He either talks about how great the fans are or orders a spicy pasty with a used Honda.

Fulton brings out an older woman and asks for some applause for the armed forces (fair enough over Memorial Day weekend). Now he introduces his pastor for a prayer, followed by the National Anthem (Fan: “PLAY BALL!” Yeah I say it too so I can’t make a joke here). With that, and the presentation of a prayer shawl out of the way, we’re ready to go.

Iron Russian #1 vs. Luis Casanova

And yes the Russian is masked, as all proper Russians should be. Iron Russian #2 is outside as flag waver. The USA chants begin, despite Casanova being billed from the Dominican Republic. That’s one of those things that never works and wrestling fans keep doing it anyway. #1 hits a loud chop in the corner and the fans don’t seem pleased. He does it a second time and tries a third but this time Casanova knocks him outside with a single right hand. Serves the Commie right.

The Russian cheats to win a test of strength but Casanova forearms him down, meaning it’s time to talk to the referee again. Probably trying to get him to give up his voting rights. Casanova gets taken down again and the neck crank goes on, which of course brings him back to his feet like a real American. Or Caribbean. A sunset flip gives Casanova two but Nova is back with the choking.

Casanova is sent outside for some cheap shots from Russian #2 but is fine enough to hit a running clothesline. The Russian kicks him in the face for two more but does the “dive into the raised boot which could only have been done so he could dive into the raised boot” spot so Casanova can starts the comeback. Two clotheslines get two and an AA connects, but the other Russian comes up for a distraction. The first Russian uses a distraction to hit Casanova with a chain for the pin at 9:06.

Rating: C-. Perfectly watchable match here, though Casanova is a disgrace to America and his own country as he tries to milk some American fervor. Jim Duggan would be disgusted by this man. The Russians are as classic of a wrestling villain trope as you are going to get so this worked out fine. Dated, but fine.

Queen of the Ring American Grand Prix Title: Miss Hannah vs. Kacee Carlisle vs. Shawna Reed

Hannah is defending and they need to work on the name of the title. Carlisle has her own title but I’m not sure what it is. The challengers hug to start and go with the chopping and choking on the ropes. Based on that first minute or so, this doesn’t exactly appear to be the most polished women’s division ever. A double clothesline takes her down again and there’s a double back elbow to do the same.

They suplex the champ and now it’s time to argue over the cover because that’ show triple threat matches work. Hannah is sent outside though and Carlisa chokes Reed on the ropes. It works so well that she does it again before knocking Hannah back down and covering for two. A butterfly suplex (you don’t see that much anymore) gets the same on Reed but she gets up and drops Hannah again.

Reed side slams Carlisle for two and chokes in the corner before running the ropes for….a chinlock. Must be a Kevin Owens fan. A swinging neckbreaker connects and they’re both down again, meaning Hannah can come back in. We go old school with a double noggin knocker and some forearms to Reed in the corner. The handspring elbow misses and Reed puts her foot a good six inches in front of Hannah’s face for two. Reed’s cover is rather sloppy though and Hannah crucifixes her to retain at 7:58.

Rating: D+. This was as by the book of a triple threat match as you were going to find and the work wasn’t much better either. That being said, it doesn’t exactly seem like a promotion that focuses on its women’s division very much but this could have been worse. They didn’t go with something about the women’s looks and they got a little time so you can’t really complain all that much. Not great, but it could have been a lot worse.

Eric Fallen vs. Tyler Robinson

Hair vs. hair. Fallen comes in with what looks like tin foil suspenders, with attachments emitting smoke, and a mask. Then he flips over the top rope and walks to the middle of the ring on his hands, much to the delight of…hokey smoke it’s Count Grog! Sweet goodness that guy is a small wrestling company legend so that’s a rather nice surprise (he’s been around the indies FOREVER, is rather large and dressed like a bad Dracula knockoff).

Richardson is in an American flag jacket and half of the Ohio State Tag Team Champions. We’re not ready to go yet though as Fallen’s other manager, carrying a cane, yells at Robinson and the fans. Grog promises to have Robinson’s hair shaved and we finally get the bell.

They go nose to nose to start with Fallen shoving him down as the manager with the cane yells at some fans. For some reason that makes Robinson take a bow before grabbing a wristlock. Some clotheslines into a dropkick into some armdrags into a clothesline put Fallen on the floor and Robinson hits a hard suicide dive. Back in and Robinson hits a springboard high crossbody for two but Fallen drops him with a single shot. They fight over arm control with Fallen getting him down with a top wristlock.

Some hard whips into the corner have Robinson in more trouble but he fights up and tries a Boston crab. That’s blocked without much trouble and Fallen throws him outside to yell at more fans. Back in and Robinson throws him hard into the ropes for a crash but Fallen is right back to the arm. Robinson fights up again (he does that a lot) and grabs a fireman’s carry gutbuster for his first near fall.

A jackknife cover gets him a ridiculously slow two so Fallen suplexes him for a pretty fast two of his own. Robinson tries the Boston crab again, drawing Grog up for the distraction. Fallen’s chokeslam hits for two but a second attempt is countered into a crosschin. That’s broken up with straight power and Fallen puts him on top, only to get shoved back down. Grog grabs the foot though and Robinson dives into a really bad chokeslam for two….but the referee remembers that he needs to count to three and comes back for the pin at 11:09.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what was up with the referee (felt like a plot point due to the speeds of the count) here but it was pretty distracting throughout the match. What mattered here though was I got most of the story they were going for and saw how things were supposed to go. If the wrestlers are telling their story properly, then you can figure out the details for yourself, so well done here.

Post match Robinson has to have his head shaved by….someone I don’t know. They take their time here and do the whole thing too and the referee talks trash about it. That would explain a thing or two from the match. Cue a guy in a hat to….I think yell at the referee but I can’t make out a word of what is being said. Robinson’s shave is done so he gets up and drops the referee, setting up a frog splash for the pin, counted by the guy in the hat. While we’re here, we might as well shave the referee’s head too. The guy in the hat fires the referee too. Dang bad night for him.

Iron Russian #2/Mr. Pittsburgh Stealer/Kevin Sullivan vs. Bill Dundee/El Rey Mascaras/Onyx

The Russian is in a Trump shirt for a funny sight gag (he was probably wearing it earlier too but it was a wide shot). Onyx is wearing a title and has an unnamed woman with him, while Dundee is in traditional trunks that he shouldn’t probably be wearing at 75 years old. We get the Big Match Intros and Onyx is the other half of the Ohio State Tag Team Champions.

Sullivan and Dundee lock up to start with Dundee punching him in the face to knock away Sullivan’s spike. Now the bell rings and they throw some pretty horrible looking punches in the corner with Dundee getting the better of things. The Russian comes in for some cheap shots but gets pulled down into a quickly broken armbar. It’s off to Onyx for a hard clothesline into a snap suplex but the Russian runs over Mascaras.

A dropkick puts the Russian down again but it’s off to the Stealer (yes Stealer) to work on Mascaras’ arm. The Stealer gets two off a big boot and an elbow is good for the same. Sullivan comes in to stay on the arm and it’s time to stay on the cheating from the villains. The Stealer grabs a chinlock but Mascaras is up in a hurry. Some running knees connect in the corner and it’s back to Onyx to throw Stealer around. Mascaras is back in with a sunset flip to pin Stealer out of nowhere 6:06.

Rating: D. That was a really weird one and I’m not sure what they were trying to do out there. I know Sullivan and Dundee (with the younger of them at 69 years old) can’t be doing much here with Mascaras being beaten down for a little while but then the good guys come back and win without much effort and out of absolutely nowhere. It was almost to the point where it seemed like the pin wasn’t supposed to take place there, which isn’t impossible.

Post match everyone looks a little confused so yeah maybe that wasn’t the planned finish. Hold on as Sullivan says that doesn’t count for some reason so we ring the bell again. Stealer hammers away on Mascaras but gets sunset flipped again for the pin in about 15 seconds. The villains attack again but this time Onyx cleans house.

Big Jim Hines Memorial Battle Royal

Onyx, El Rey Mascaras, Eric Fallen, Iron Russian #1, Iron Russian #2, Luis Casanova, Mecha Mercenary, Tony Crawford

Jim Hines is Bobby Fulton’s real name though since he’s alive, I’m going to assume it’s Bobby’s father or brother. The bell rings and the camera starts circling the arena for a rather weird view. The camera finally settles down to a still but somewhat wide shot as everyone chokes and teases eliminations on the ropes. Fallen is sent over the top but manages to save himself. Russian #1 is clotheslined out and Rey Mascaras is knocked out off camera.

Casanova charges at the rather large Mercenary and gets backdropped out as the eliminations have started in a hurry. Crawford is out at the same time and we’re down to four with Onyx, Mercenary, Russian #2 and Fallen. Make that three as Russian #3 charges at Onyx and is out in a hurry. Fallen charges at Onyx and is taken out as well, leaving us with the two big guys. Mercenary’s clotheslines don’t do much but Onyx’s big clothesline knocks him down. Onyx is knocked into the corner but ducks a charge to put Mercenary out for the win at 5:43.

Rating: D. Yeah this didn’t work, which isn’t exactly surprising. You can’t do much with an eight man battle royal with less than six minutes. If nothing else it doesn’t exactly make it seem all that important if they are going to get in an out of there that fast. Nothing to see here, but a battle royal is going to be a good way to draw some fans into the building.

We now pause for awards to be presented to Fred and Nick Curry (famous wrestler and I’m assuming his grandson, also a wrestler). They don’t actually get in the ring so I’m not sure how big of a deal this is.

Nick is ready for the match, which will be Bobby Fulton’s last match.

And now, here’s Jim Cornette with a plaque. He introduces Bobby Eaton, Fred Curry and James J. Dillon, who are all here to celebrate Bobby Fulton’s final match. Cornette brings out Fulton to give him the plaque, despite all of the horrible things that Fulton has done to him over the years. They have been friends for 37 years though and Fulton has always been a friend of wrestling.

Fulton’s family (I believe sons, including the guy with the hat) comes in with him and Cornette gives Bobby a plaque for forty years in wrestling. Bobby holds up the plaque and gives a speech which is drowned out by the applause. He has someone else get in and it looks a lot like Brian Pillman Jr. (who does live near Ohio and seems to have wrestled for the promotion). They all pose for a picture in a nice moment. There’s nothing wrong with a legends ceremony, especially with people who clearly care about Fulton like Cornette does.

FBI vs. 5 Most Wanted

5 Most Wanted’s Tag Team Titles (might be the Vendetta Pro Wrestling International Tag Team Titles) are not on the line. It’s Tracy Smothers/Tommy Rich for the FBI as ECW continues to live. The 5 Most Wanted are Sean Casey (OVW mainstay back around 2000/2001) and Cody Hawk (who trained Jon Moxley), with Shawna Reed, David J, Jon Murray and Tomi Angel, because the 5 Most Wanted has six people and we need two people named Tommy/Tomi in one match.

The FBI coming out to Stayin Alive is a lot more appropriate now that Smothers (who dances during his entrance) seems to be doing better with his cancer. Casey and Rich start things off and, after over a minute and a half of stalling, they lock up. Rich punches his way out of the corner and clotheslines an invading Hawk. It’s off to Smothers for two off a double back elbow but Hawk gets in a cheap shot from the apron, allowing the rest of the 5 Most Wanted to get in some choking from the floor.

Smothers gets beaten up in the corner but comes back with the karate, only to get knocked into the wrong corner again. Rich gets drawn in to keep up the double teaming but Smothers avoids a shot and brings him in legally. Everything breaks down and some right hands set up a double whip to send the Most Wanted into each other. Stereo rollups give the FBI the double pin at 4:53.

Rating: D. This was another hard one to watch as the FBI wasn’t exactly looking great, though to be fair this was about the nostalgia and fun entrance than anything else. Also, it wasn’t supposed to be anything more than a five minute punch and kick match. It was what I was expecting, but that doesn’t mean it was the easiest thing to watch.

Post match the FBI bails while 5 Most Wanted freaks out and then poses for a photo (seems to be their thing).

Here are Shane Douglas and Robby Starr with Shane talking about ECW and his history with Gary Wolfe. Shane injured Wolfe’s neck in ECW and caused him to be put in a halo for three months. Tonight, the beating will be even worse, even in this horrible town.

Shane Douglas vs. Gary Wolfe

Shane has Robby Starr in his corner and Ronnie Garvin is the guest enforcer on the floor (looking GREAT for 73 years old). This is billed as an ECW Unfinished Business match, making me wonder what the statute of limitations is on unfinished business. They shake hands to start but Wolfe cranks on the hand to send Shane bailing to the floor. Shane is sent into the apron and they fight into the crowd with Wolfe throwing a chair at him.

The camera loses them as they go to the other side of the building but we catch up with Wolfe throwing a trashcan at him and then sending Shane into various things. They get back in the ring for a change with Shane using the rope to get in a low blow and take over. The neck crank goes on Wolfe, followed by a camel clutch to mix things up a bit. Wolfe fights up with some headbutts but Starr grabs him. Shane almost crashes into him but manages to kick out of Wolfe’s rollup. Garvin knocks Starr cold to a big pop, leaving Shane to avoid a charge and grab a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin at 6:54.

Rating: D+. This was another rough watch but it was FAR easier than watching the guys in their 60s out there. These guys could still move around well enough to not embarrass themselves and I can’t even imagine some of the people on the roster having a match like this. It’s not good, but at least it was better than some of the other things on this show.

Abyss vs. Barbarian

Monster’s Ball and the pairing alone got my attention. Abyss is waiting with a stick but Barbarian throws a chair down because he isn’t scared of a monster. They slug it out to start and then trade shoulders. Barbarian clotheslines him to the floor where Abyss wins a fight and Barbarian gets chopped by a guy with a bowtie. Abyss gets held for some chops from fans but he reverses a whip to send Barbarian through some chairs.

Some golf club shots have Barbarian in trouble but he’s right back with the elbows. The crowd stands up so we can’t see everything going on until they get back inside. Abyss busts out Janice (board with spikes sticking out), which gets caught in the turnbuckle, as always. Barbarian kendo sticks him a few times but walks into a chair shot to the back. Another one to the head sets up a chokeslam onto the chair to give Abyss the pin at 7:47.

Rating: C-. Never let it be said that Barbarian isn’t willing to get in a brawl at his age. This wasn’t exactly revolutionary as has been the case for years with Monster’s Ball, but it is nice to see Barbarian in the ring again. There is something impressive about someone with a basic gimmick who has made it last for that long. You know what you’re getting with Barbarian (it’s right in the name) and it worked out fine enough here.

We have a raffle drawing for something.

Bobby Fulton vs. Nick Curry

Nick has his father (I think) Fred Curry with him while Fulton has a bunch of his family, including (I’m pretty sure) Brian Pillman Jr. This is billed as Fulton’s retirement match, which wouldn’t quite wind up being true but it’s a nice idea. Granted I’ll like anyone who comes out to Gonna Fly Now and then switches to Eye of the Tiger. Curry drops to the mat before getting back up for the lockup. Back up and they go with the grappling until Fulton grabs a headlock, followed by a few shoulders.

Another headlock is broken up and Curry dropkicks him into the corner. Some chops have Curry down but he headscissors his way out of a headlock for another standoff. The fans are exceedingly behind Bobby as they go to the mat…and here are Robby Starr and Gary Wolfe. The latter grabs the mic and say something involving not being able to have a Supershow without a Superstar. The Bill Dundee match was about an hour ago man. Curry and Fulton stop, with the latter seemingly saying let’s make it a tag match. We’ll call it a no contest at 7:00.

Rating: C. All things considered, this wasn’t too bad at all, with Fulton looking like he can still do all the basics. It also helps when the fans treat him like a major star, which is the most important thing you can have in a match like this. If the fans aren’t caring about your main event, you aren’t going to get much else out of the match, so it was nice to see the fans reacting to Fulton so strongly. Curry looked young but you can see how well trained he has been as he seemed perfectly comfortable out there.

Gary Wolfe/Robby Starr vs. Bobby Fulton/Nick Curry

Fulton beats up Starr to start and it’s quickly off to Curry to take him down. A hiptoss into a dropkick gets two on Starr and it’s time to bail to the floor. Fulton goes outside to post Wolfe and Nick slugs away at Starr. It’s back to Fulton but Wolfe gets in a cheap shot from the apron to put him down. A spinwheel kick puts Starr down though and the hot tag brings Nick back in to clean house. Fulton sends Wolfe outside, leaving Nick to crossbody Starr for the pin at 3:49.

Rating: C-. This was a lot better to watch than some of the other matches involving legends as they didn’t stay out there very long and Fulton can still move well enough. It helps that they had some others in there who could do some other things, as Fulton can only do so much on his own. It wasn’t a good match by any stretch, but it was quick and gave the fans what they wanted to see so not too bad.

Post match Fulton seems to have hurt his ankle and has to be checked on by the medics. Fulton gets back up for a THANK YOU BOBBY chant. Bobby thanks the fans and Nick Curry to a big reaction.

Fulton, with a customized title, thanks the fans and says he’s tired of young people disrespecting the business because it has been great to him for 41 years. Take care of the business because it isn’t going to take care of you.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a fine example of a situation where you need to remember what you were watching. This wasn’t WWE, AEW, Ring of Honor or anything close to it. The point here was a (mostly) family friendly wrestling show where you could probably take a family of four out to a 3+ hour show, get Cokes and hot dogs and be out for about $75. That’s not a bad night of entertainment and there was a little something for everyone.

The show had some legends who have probably been friends of Fulton for years and that’s all it needed to be. They weren’t trying to reinvent the wheel here and while the show wasn’t great, it did exactly what it was trying to do. It seemed to work out as well as there was a nice crowd around the show could have been MUCH worse. It’s not a great show or anything, but it was perfectly acceptable for what it was.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Fite TV

Talk N Shop A-Mania
Date: August 1, 2020
Location: Doc Gallows’ Backyard
Commentators: Karl Anderson, Doc Gallows, Rocky Romero

I really don’t know what to say about this as it is not going to be a normal wrestling show. The whole thing was filmed in Gallows’ backyard and the main event is a Boneryard (not a typo) match between the Good Brothers’ alter egos of Sex Ferguson and Chad 2 Badd, who you might remember from Southpaw Regional Wrestling. These guys can be hilarious and I’m morbidly curious about what is going on here. Let’s get to it.

Also note that I don’t listen to the podcast that helped set this up so if there are any jokes or references I don’t get, I apologize in advance.

The Good Brothers and Romero welcome us from their podcast and explain the idea of the show. They have flown people around the country to do this show with Coronavirus prevention and have some advice for us: get rather drunk and have a good time. There is no disrespect meant for anyone and it is all meant in fun with a big wink. Gallows does a Bruce Buffer style intro and recommends we take off our pants. Anderson: “And Gallows, a big f*** you for making us do this.”

What have I gotten myself into?

Anderson is filming to start and finds his “Hot Asian Wife” (he has a shirt that says “Property Of My Hot Asian Wife”) hula hooping in rather limited clothing. She finds out he’s there and offers to flash the camera, sending Anderson running off.

We cut to Anderson arriving at the house (in a HAW, for Hot Asian Wife, shirt) and helps Rocky Romero out of the back of his truck. They walk into Gallows’ backyard and find Teddy Long, who is here “To get f****** paid. Now step back six feet.” They keep going and Dave Penzer handles their intro as they go through an entrance and, after another quick walk, they find the ring. The trio welcomes us to the show, with a wide shot showing that they are all alone with Penzer and the cameraman. Oh and one more camerawoman on a wide shot.

Chad 2 Badd (Anderson) doesn’t like the idea of Sex Ferguson (Gallows) thinking he was the leader of the team.

Ferguson rants about Badd messing everything up and being influenced by Paul Layman. The Boneryard match is on and Gallows does an Undertaker eye roll while promising to make Chad “rest in feces.”

Commentary welcomes us to the show and give us a quick explanation of how this whole thing came together. The Good Brothers aren’t sure who wins the main event, but Romero likes ham.

Battle Royal

That’s a social distancing battle royal of course and Chavo Guerrero jumps in on commentary. We’re on a wide shot so I’m not even sure who all is involved and most of them don’t get an entrance (I’ll leave the name off because there are a bunch of surprise entrants). Beach (I think that’s his name at least) has a bunch of pool noodles under his arms. Manning, the Manscout, walks out through the entrance with his scout guide (it’s his thing) after the bell rings and everyone else is in the ring. He’s joined by a rather large man named Freight Train and the two join everyone else. Train dumps Rozelli, plus three more guys (only one is named as Little Knobbs) and then Manning. Gallows: “I kind of wish we were back in New York!”

Lazer, who looks like Hurricane (or “who looks like that guy we can’t name” according to Anderson) dives onto the pile at ringside but here’s Stang (appears to be Anderson in a Sting costume, complete with face paint, but might be Heath Slater) to point the bat at him. That goes nowhere but Mike Bennett runs in, looks around, and eliminates himself. Everyone left in the ring beats Beach with the pool noodles and toss him out. Gallows begs the wrestlers not to sue him because he doesn’t have a job anymore but stops because he realizes Pillman is in this thing.

The guy in the blue jacket is eliminated and it’s Pillman into a wrestling sequence with Sgt. Hammerlock. Train very slowly (on purpose) clotheslines them down and throws Hammerlock out. We’re down to Train and Pillman but here’s Alex Kozlov (the podcast editor) to join things. Kozlov lights up a cigarette and kicks Train in the corner before taking Pillman down.

Cue Kozlov’s bearded mother (that’s what she’s called) to beat on him with a purse. She does the same to Train and Pillman helps her get rid of him before Mother clears the ring. Hold on though as here’s Chico El Luchador (Rocky Romero in a mask, complete with surgical mask as a bonus, and Chavo HATES him) to Stun Mother and throw her out for the win at 6:50 (in theory, as there are no bells on this show).

Rating: D+. As you might have guessed, the match quality has absolutely nothing to do with the value of the show here as they are riffing on every single thing taking place. This was almost a parody of a battle royal and I had a good time with it, which is all you can say about something like this one. The run ins were fun and knowing the wrestlers wasn’t the point.

Post match Chico makes the belt motion to Chavo, who really isn’t happy. Chico gets a belt as Chavo accuses him of being from Bolivia. Oh and he’ll shoot Chico.

Gallows talks to Kozlov, who doesn’t speak much English. He blames his mother, who runs up and beats him with the purse. Anderson: “HIS MOTHER IS REAL!”

Ferguson arrives and asks Mike Bennett for pills. Bennett hands them over and speeds off before his wife finds out.

Penzer: “And I thought Sturgis sucked.” Teddy Long comes up to laugh at him.

Frankie Coverdale vs. Paul Lee

This is a Contract On A Tree match and Lee is doing a pretty awesomely bad Ric Flair impression, including driving onto Gallows’ lawn in a Corvette. As he walks to the ring, he passes a dancing Maria Kanellis in a swimsuit but in the next shot she is replaced by a rather heavy woman in the same kind of outfit. Commentary cracks up over the ridiculously long entrance, including ranting about how Lee wipes his feet before getting in the ring but no one wiped their feet before coming into the house.

Lee’s trunks say “Ric WHO” and they touch elbows to start. Coverdale, who I believe was in the battle royal, grabs a waistlock to start but Lee gyrates his way out. Lee throws him outside….and Coverdale just runs off towards a pond, which Gallows says isn’t even on his property, for the countout at about 1:40. Well that was quick. No tree was ever shown, but then again what would the contract be for?

Chico brags about winning the title and talks about the heat his family has with the Guerreros. He wants Chavo in a title match, if the Good Brothers have the money.

We cut back to Lee headlocking Coverdale in the middle of a field and shouting WOO a lot. Gallows tries to conduct an interview but gives up.

George North vs. Stump Kowalski

This is a hardcore match and Stump looks like a Hornswoggle sized Big Papa Pump. Kowalski 2x4s him down and we cut to another shot to North’s back, with commentary bragging about their crazy editing skills. They head outside with Stump swinging a kendo stick in slow motion but only hitting post. North grabs a headlock and drags him off as he rains in right hands. Commentary says this is officially terrible….and the match just ends at about 1:05.

Time to thank sponsors.

Back with the fight up by the pool, with the Rock N Roll Express watching, along with some other unidentified wrestlers. They run into Lee still headlocking Coverdale and head into the house, where we’re fast forwarded to a bedroom, where Brian Myers and some kids are playing with the old WWF ring (I have that) and the awesome Hasbro line of figures. One of the kids elbows North down and the referee smiles a lot.

Ferguson asks Scott D’Amore for double pay and is told to be professional. And no pay in gas station d*** (at least that’s what I think he said).

Here’s Teddy Long to complain about his lack of pay. And to make some tag matches, because that’s what he does.

80s Russians vs. Jungle Kittens

No word on if those are the Minnesota variety Russians. Either way they jump the Kittens (in fur pelts) and go into the 80s power offense as Gallows talks about a cameraman asking if he can take a break and go hunting in the woods. That’s a big no, so one of the Russians hits a Sickle for the pin on a Kitten at 1:05.

Post match Long yells about this not being the 80s. No, this is the 90s, so here are Lodi and Sick Boy of Raven’s Flock fame. Lodi’s sign: “YES! WE ARE STILL ALIVE!” The Yeti, better known as Ron Reis (or Reese in the Flock) is here, but this time around he’s in his Reese gear with toilet paper wrapped around him. They don’t like it though so he goes into the woods and rips most of it off. The Flock comes in and beats up the Kittens with kendo sticks. Cue D’Lo Brown (Anderson: “All I care about is the head shake.”) in an Aces and 8’s shirt for a Low Down on a Russian.

Now it’s Rhino to Gore both Russians as Anderson tries to figure out Rhino’s political career. Brian Pillman Jr. comes out as well and hits Air Pillman on a Kitten. The other three are dropkicked down but Rim Job (In the old Kim Chee gear. Yes I think people watching this show will know who Kim Chee is) comes in. There’s no one to beat up though so here is Chavo Guerrero to hit Job with Pepe.

The frog splash and Eddie Guerrero dance ensue, which draw out Willie Mack to Stun some Russians. One of the Kittens gets in a cheap shot but Chavo makes the save and hits Three Amigos. Anderson gets up and hands them beers, with Mack Stunning Chavo. This was more insanity and it was fun watching to see who was coming out next.

Chad talks to D’Amore and reveals himself as Anderson. He’s the bump and feed guy so he should get more money.

Gallows: “We grew up in the Attitude Era. That was one of the worst things in the history of professional wrestling.”

Rory Fox vs. Matt Cardona

This is a grudge match sponsored by Pro Wrestling Tees and a reference to an infamous match on ECW on SyFy where Cardona ripped off Fox’s gear, revealing nothing underneath. You can imagine the editing that had to be done and yes, the fans in the arena saw everything. But since Cardona is AEW, here’s Brian Myers instead. Myers: “Rory Fox, you stupid f****** never was jabroni f****** idiot.” Myers has a replacement to face Fox.

Rory Fox vs. Swoggle Ryder

Yes Myers sings Oh Radio on the way to the ring. The graphic says Swoggledona and I don’t think it makes the slightest difference. Swoggle: “WHOA WHOA WHOA!” He bites Rory’s trunks and gets stomped down in the corner as we hear about Fox sleeping on Gallows’ treadmill last night. Myers comes in and we’re edited to him tossing Swoggle at Fox for the pin at 1:30. Anderson: “We need a new producer. Holy s*** that was terrible.”

Post match they rip Fox’s trunks off and he runs away.

We go back to the pool where North is shoved down the water slide (How much do they pay in Japan???), which is enough to win the match. Penzer: “Ladies and gentlemen, the loser of the hardcore match, Doc Gallows, because he booked this s***!”. Elsewhere in the pool Lee is STILL working that headlock on Coverdale, even in the shallow end.

Chico goes to do some bench presses, even with no weight on the bar. He has a spotter but Chavo comes in to take his place, because Chico is apparently blind. They fight in the gym, with Chavo asking if he is on the gas and throwing him into the sauna. Chavo: “It’s not as hot as your mom!” Chico breaks out and they brawl with the workout equipment, stop to offer respect to their respective grandfathers, and then back to the action. Chavo: “Back to the action!” Chavo knocks him down and wins the title, which he promises to have sex on before he kills Chico. Chavo leaves and gets jumped by Chad 2 Badd, who wins the title.

Here’s NZO for a chat. NZO: “I forgot what I was going to f****** show.” He knows Gallows is losing money on this show, even though he put himself over in the main event they put on last night. NZO knows he is losing money too and hopes everyone enjoys it, even if he just spoiled the main event.

We go back to the large woman from earlier (with Elvis behind her) and Coverdale REVERSES THE HEADLOCK ON LEE! Elvis jumps him and dances with the woman but Brian Myers, also in an Elvis suit, jumps him as well. Now it’s another Elvis (Slater again I believe) jumping Myers to dance with the woman but the original Elvis low blows the third Elvis (this is confusing) and Myers. Penzer: “And the winner of the Contract In A Tree match….who really gives a f***?”

A hearse arrives and it seems to be time for the main event.

Talk N Shop A-Mania Title: Chad 2 Badd vs. Sex Ferguson

This is the Boneryard match and I think you win by burying your opponent (I’ll be disappointed if we don’t get a dozen jokes based on the meaning of the word “burying”). It’s now night and we have druids pulling a casket out of the hearse. It starts shaking and they drop it face down though, meaning Chad has to get out and yell at all of them. Ferguson is played to the…well there is no ring, but it’s by a guy with a guitar. He drives up in a tricked out golf cart and the fight is on, including ear pulling.

Air Paris (AJ Styles’ old tag partner from about 20 years ago) shows up with a rubber chicken and gets elbowed in the face by Ferguson. Chad gets knocked down as Ferguson is all fired up. A low blow takes him down (Ferguson: “OW! MY F****** C***!”) and Paris is annoyed at getting beaten up when he was just trying to sell a shirt. Ferguson is thrown through a wall but here’s Bennett to give him pills to fire him up.

Chad is knocked onto a pile of dirt with a gloved hand sticking out. Chad: “Uncle Alan? Why didn’t you save us in New York? I know you tried and that’s why you switched shows.” Fox runs back in to complain about losing his gear again and then runs off for a second time. Ferguson does an Undertaker impression but gets knocked down. Cue Maria (Ferguson: “Not this s*** again! A reference to Maria distracting Gallows in a match in Japan.) to distract Chad (who starts speaking Spanish) until Ferguson hits him in the back with the arm from the dirt pile.

Maria yells about being a mother and storms off, ranting about how she doesn’t need to be with these two idiots. Chad grabs the ear again and Slater and Myers watch from lawn chairs. That turns into an argument over the two of them being booked, with Chad saying Gallows did it and that’s why he sucks. Ferguson gets in a low blow and loads up the hand again (Ferguson: “Ready for your hand job?”) but the Rock N Roll Express interrupt. They decide to just head to the merch table so here are the druids, causing Chad and Tex to team up one last time.

After the druids are dispatched and we get the 8 bit celebration music, Chad grabs the ear again and carries Ferguson over to….the Express’ gimmick table. Chad: “I THOUGHT YOU WERE KIDDING!” NZO comes in and asks for an autograph but he has zero dimes. That earns him a superkick from Ferguson to put him through the table, which is enough to make the Express leave. Hold on though because here’s Johnny Swinger to interrupt. Chad accuses him of stealing his gimmick and the fight is on, with Ferguson getting in a cheap shot so Johnny can do his squats.

Ferguson is knocked face first into Slater’s crotch and Chad kicks him down. Swinger gets kicked as well but Ferguson is back up to throw Chad into Myers. Chad kicks Ferguson down for two (like the rules matter) but here is Chico to run away from Chavo, who is holding a huge knife. Chad headbutts Ferguson (Chad: “Yeah I got a headbutt fetish too!”) and they climb onto the hearse, which Ferguson bought for $2500 on eBay. A Tombstone plants Chad on the roof….and we hit the dream sequence.

We flash back to September 2019 where the Brothers were ready to sign with AEW and meet with the Young Bucks. They’re ready to sign but they also have a great offer from the Pauls in New York. Max asks if New York will have their back if there is some kind of a global pandemic or something. They all too sweet and chant AEW but the Pauls send in another offer, which is too good to pass up. The Bucks superkick them down and call them marks for going to TNA anyway.

Back to reality and Chad sits up to hit Ferguson in the face and takes him to the grave. Ferguson begs forgiveness because he wants to be a babyface with a singles run but Chad breaks a board over his head to knock him into the grave. We cut to a man looking stunned (….that might have been the Undertaker guy from Wrestlemania XXX) and come back to Chad burying Ferguson to his theme music. This takes extra time as Chad has to yell at Slater and Myers but apparently it’s enough for the win at about 19:30.

Rating: B. As usual, I have no idea how to rate this but it was hilarious with the guys basically doing their own commentary throughout the match. The cameos were great with things like the Express’ gimmick table and the ear thing over and over again. It’s not to be taken seriously (of course) and that’s how this should have gone. Throw in the fact that it’s a complete parody of a genre that is being driven into the ground these days but is still ripe for jokes and it’s a good time.

Chad drives off in the golf cart and Ferguson gets out of the grave, now in a hockey mask and with a large sex toy next to him. To be continued. Maybe.

Overall Rating: A-. My stance on comedy wrestling is pretty well known and I had a great time with this. It’s in and out in less than an hour and a half and they don’t stop with the jokes. They were smart to keep it that way too, as anything serious on here would have been a big miss. Gallows and Anderson are freaking hilarious and put together a hilarious bunch of stuff here where, aside from the main event, it felt like they threw a bunch of stuff together and then decided to make up the jokes off the loosest of concepts. Find a way to watch this with some wrestling friends and have a good time, because it’s worth your time/money.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

AWA All Star Wrestling
Date: February 17, 1990
Location: Mayo Civic Center, Rochester, Minnesota
Commentators: Greg Gagne, Ralph Strangis

The AWA is a promotion that has never done much for me but someone wanted me to look at something from their final year. This is in no way representative of what they were capable of doing and the promotion is basically dead on its feet at this point. I’m not sure what this is going to look like but it isn’t likely to be good. Let’s get to it.

We have a big cage match main event but the Trooper (better known as the Patriot) cannot be here because his parents were in a car wreck. The match is still taking place but Paul Diamond will need to find a new partner.

DJ Peterson vs. Jimmy Magnum

Peterson is being pushed as a young guy with a lot of potential. They circle each other a bit until Peterson takes him down by the leg. The cranking is on, followed by a legdrop between the legs. The leg is tied together with Peterson ripping at the face as we hear about AWA World Champion Mr. Saito defending the title in Moscow. I’m a bit dubious on that. Peterson hits a suplex and a top rope shoulder, setting up a Sharpshooter (with Peterson kneeling) for the submission at 2:58. Peterson looked muscular but there were a lot of people who could have done the same thing.

Eric Bischoff interviews Paul Diamond about the main event and he has an idea for a partner. That would be former Olympian Brad Rheingans, who seems to have some issues with the Destruction Crew and would love some revenge.

Larry Zbyszko vs. The Cobra

Larry is a big deal around here (not an interesting one, but still big) and the Cobra is your generic masked guy. Commentary brags about the AWA’s gate at the Tokyo Dome being bigger than Mike Tyson vs. Buster Douglas the next night. I’d love to see some non-AWA proof of that. Or proof that it wasn’t a New Japan show with an AWA match included. Larry drives him into the corner to start and hammers away, followed by the choking on the mat. A suplex connects and Larry rants about how unfair it was to lose the World Title to Saito. The piledriver finishes Cobra at 2:00. Total squash.

Post match Larry rants about thinking Charles Darwin being a crock but then he saw the Japanese and knew what Darwin meant by the slime of the earth. Larry rants about Japanese cars and knowing that he is the real World Champion.

Next week, Larry Zbyszko vs. Nikita Koloff in a Team Challenge Series (rather long and complicated series of matches with the roster divided into teams and the most points winning) match. We see some clips of the match that set it up…..I think. Commentary makes it sound like this is the match we’ll be seeing next week.

Nikita Koloff vs. The Annihilator

Annihilator jumps him from behind and has all of the success that you would expect. A slam and shoulder set up the Russian Sickle to finish Annihilator at 1:08.

Post match Koloff says he’s ready to face Zbyszko in a 2/3 falls match next week so he can become #1 contender. It’s about the title and the pride.

The Destruction Crew, behind a piece of cage, is ready for the cage match, even though Mike Enos is horribly claustrophobic. Enos panics and Wayne Bloom has to calm him down.

Brad Rheingans and Paul Diamond are ready too.

We get a Team Challenge Series update. Sarge’s Snipers have cut Baron’s Blitzers’ lead to just two points after a Triathlon match (a tug of war was involved) and we’re on the way to the second half of the season. Larry’s Legends are in third.

Here are the current standings:

Baron’s Blitzers – 23

Sarge’s Snipers – 21

Larry’s Legends – 17

Destruction Crew vs. Paul Diamond/Brad Rheingans

The Crew’s Tag Team Titles aren’t on the line. That would be Larry’s Legends vs. Baron’s Blitzers and the winners get two points. Rheingans, who was put on the shelf by the Crew for nine months, starts fast and the brawl is on in a hurry. Enos tries to escape but gets pulled down by Rheingans as we settle down to a regular match, including tags. In a CAGE match. A piledriver plants Enos and it’s off to Diamond for a headlock.

Some running shoulders drop Enos but he avoids a charge to send Diamond into the cage. It’s time to go after the busted open head and Enos grabs a chinlock. Bloom comes in for some more rams into the cage, plus a rub across the steel (always a good thing). Diamond reverses Enos’ suplex into a gordbuster and the hot tag brings in Rheingans to beat on Bloom.

A catapult sends Bloom into the….well top rope actually as he doesn’t quite hit the cage. It busts him open anyway so Rheingans hammers away but still manages to punch Enos out of the air. It’s back to Diamond for a hard clothesline but a dropkick misses. Bloom comes in and cheap shot Rheingans as Enos goes up, only to get crotched on the top. The referee gets bumped as Diamond grabs a victory roll on Bloom. Another referee slides in to count the three at 9:17.

Rating: B-. Better than expected here and that’s a nice thing to see. The Crew was one of the last big acts for the company and while I can see the potential, I don’t quite get the entire appeal. Then again that might be because they wound up being the Beverly Brothers in the WWF and that didn’t quite go so well.

Post match Rheingans gets out but Larry Zbyszko slams the cage door on Diamond’s head, leaving him alone with the Crew. The beatdown is on, including the Wrecking Ball (Doomsday Device) as Rheingans chases Larry, who threw the key in the ring, to the back. Another Wrecking Ball leaves Diamond laying as Rheingans runs back for the way too late save attempt.

Back from a break and Diamond has to be helped out of the ring.

Commentary wraps it up.

Overall Rating: C-. Actually better than I was expecting here with a pretty good main event and a big match being set up for next week. It wasn’t a great show or even a good one, but for the AWA in 1990, this was as close to a masterpiece as they were going to get. They got a decent amount of stuff in and while it isn’t exactly thrilling, I’ll take a watchable show over the usually slow and weak events this promotion is known for.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Pro Wrestling Guerrilla

Ernest P. Worrell Memorial
Date: March 12, 2005
Location: Frank & Son Collectible Show, City of Industry, California
Commentators: Excalibur, Disco Machine

When you do this for the better part of ten years, you think you’ll never find something new to say. Then you start looking through PWG show names and realize you have no idea what you’re talking about. Worrell was a character played by Jim Varney who appeared in a bunch of movies with his name in the title. He died five years before this show took place and that is the last bit of a connection that he has with anything on this show. Let’s get to it.

I have only seen a handful of PWG shows ever so I have no idea what is going on here storyline or character wise. Please bear with me if I miss some major details.

Excalibur (yes of AEW, in case you thought it was another Excalibur) is in the ring with I believe his SBS (not sure what that stands for) stablemate Super Dragon and talks about how great it is to be back here. Apparently Disco Machine has been promoted to interim Commissioner of PWG and the last time Excalibur was here, Machine suspended him for one month without pay. That’s not good because it took money from Excalibur, while also taking away his time in front of this audience.

Disco Machine needs to get out here RIGHT NOW and decide if he’s the commissioner or part of SBS. Super Dragon jumps him from behind but here’s Disco Machine to make the save. Dancing ensues and Excalibur thanks him before Disco says they have a lot of business to take care of in PWG. Cue Hook Bomberry and Top Gun Talwar (neither are named here as there is no commentary) with Talwar shouting a lot. Talwar wants Disco Machine to stop being a boss and be a wrestler again, so all four shake hands and it’s time for an eight man tag.

Ronin/Ballard Brothers/Charles Mercury vs. Excalibur/Disco Machine/Hook Bomberry/Top Gun Talwar

We have commentary (on the second audio channel for some reason) as Disco strikes away at Mercury to start with a backslide getting two. Disco goes to the armbar as commentary talks about Mercury’s issues with credit cards (commentary isn’t exactly the highest quality here, as it seems more like they were told to do it and aren’t quite putting in their best effort). Mercury counters a springboard armdrag into a cross armbreaker but Disco is out in a hurry.

They both miss dropkicks and it’s off to Bomberry vs. Shane Ballard (in his hockey jersey ala his brother). As we hear about Shane enjoying being verbally abused by his romantic partners due to childhood bullying issues, Bomberry shoulders him down and follows with a bad dropkick. A basement version to the side of the head gets two on Shane. Talwar and Shannon come in and it’s a cheap shot from Ronin to annoy Talwar in a hurry. Everything breaks down and it’s a quadruple bite (fingers and boots) to Shannon. I’m not sure what good it does to bite someone’s boot but Excalibur never struck me as all that bright.

Talwar and Shannon trade shoulders for one each, followed by exchanges of hiptosses and armdrags until Talwar misses another armdrag. They roll around for some quick rollups each and they’re so dizzy that they can’t stand up. Talwar collapses onto Shannon’s crotch so it’s off to Excalibur vs. Ronin. One of the fans doesn’t like Excalibur so we stop for him to be upset.

Excalibur hits a dropkick and running shoulder, followed by some jumping knees to the chest. A forearm to the face puts Excalibur down though and the Brothers come in for a double Russian legsweep. As commentary debates the merits of going to Russia, Ronin splashes Excalibur in the corner and Mercury clears the good guys off the apron. Shannon charges into a boot in the corner but comes back with a DDT for two. Excalibur gets in a big boot and a cubic zirconium cutter for the hot tag off to Disco as everything breaks down.

The good guys clear the ring and load up a series of dives, with Disco and Excalibur missing, Bomberry getting kicked out of the air, and Talwar landing on the apron. Call that a rather mixed bag I guess. Mercury and Bomberry chop it out at ringside with Mercury sending him face first into a chair. Back in and Ronin’s powerslam is countered into a reverse DDT from Talwar for two with Mercury making a save. A DDT gets two on Talwar with Excalibur making a diving save. We hit the parade of secondary finishers for some near falls and Talwar turns on Disco, setting up a Whirling Dervish from Shane for the pin at 13:54.

Rating: C-. This could have been a lot worse, though it still wasn’t exactly must see. They had a good amount of action, but it is rather clear that these guys don’t have the most extensive training outside of the fast paced indy style. I get why that kind of wrestling is popular, but the lack of almost anything else can get a little tiresome. Odds are that is going to be the case throughout the show, though maybe some of the others can be a little more seasoned.

Post match we’re clipped (doesn’t seem long) to Bomberry and Talwar beating down Disco and Excalibur. Talwar grabs the mic and shouts about stealing some titles….and injecting them into himself? Disco tries to fight back but the numbers get the better of him. Excalibur gets the same treatment, though points for at least trying. Disco gets up again and fights Talwar to the back.

Ricky Reyes vs. Chris Sabin

Reyes was part of the Havana Pitbulls in ROH and I’m pretty sure you know Sabin, who is making his company debut. They fight over wrist control to start and trade some flippy escapes. Excalibur dubs Reyes as the Tito Santana of PWG, which isn’t something I’m going to take lightly. Reyes grabs a headlock takeover as commentary talks about how Reyes can scout Sabin because Sabin is a regular on Impact. Fair point actually.

Sabin spins out of a double legsweep and gets two off a rollup, sending the fans into quite the applause over a standoff. Sabin forearms away in the corner and snaps off a hurricanrana to send Reyes outside. Naturally that means a suicide dive (indy show requirement) for two back inside but Reyes gets in a poke to the eye. A backbreaker gives Reyes two and he drops a knee to the chest. There’s an elbow to the face for two more and Reyes drops Sabin again for daring a sunset flip.

A loud kick to the back gets another near fall and it’s time to yell at the referee. Sabin uses the breather to come back with an elbow to the face as Excalibur talks about his love life declining. As a result, Sabin gave him some tips from the Kama Sutra. You can tell how professional this stuff is here people. Sabin comes off the top with a big diving DDT for his own two but the Cradle Shock is broken up.

Reyes grabs a bridging northern lights suplex for another near fall and they’re both down. Sabin manages an enziguri into a running diving powerbomb for a rather close two. A tornado DDT plants Sabin to give Reyes another near fall and it’s time for more kicks. Sabin shrugs them off and hits the Cradle Shock for the quick pin at 9:46.

Rating: C. I liked this one a bit more than the opener as it was a more grounded match that let them set things up a lot better. Granted the lack of six more wrestlers and an angle might have had something to do with that. Sabin is always worth a glance and Reyes has done some rather decent stuff in his own right so I’m not surprised that they had a nice match here.

Los Luchas vs. Human Tornado/Scorpio Sky

Tornado, with Dino Winwood, is replacing Sky’s regular partner Quicksilver, as the team is having some issues. Los Luchas (Zokre and Phoenix Star) have been around for the better part of ever. Zokre and Sky start things off as Excalibur talks about how he has been accused of being racist against Mexicans. With that out of the way, they trade armdrags and it’s off to Star for a dropkick to put Sky on the floor. Tornado comes in and gets springboard armdragged to the floor.

Zokre comes in for some miscommunication, followed by a headscissors. Sky is back in to pull Star out of the air into a Fujiwara armbar. Zokre kneebars Tornado at the same time but both holds are released. Sky sends Zokre outside and hits a running knee for two on Star. It’s Star being taken into the corner for a hiptoss backbreaker from Tornado. The chinlock (not a headlock Excalibur) goes on before it’s back to Sky for two off a dropkick. Star gets in a kick to the head though and it’s back to Zokre to pick up the pace.

A jumping knee to the chest drops Sky but Tornado avoids a rolling splash in the corner. Everything breaks down and Star does a handstand in the corner, leaving Sky and Tornado a little confused. Tornado walks over and pokes Star in the eye though, sending him down into a low blow on Zokre. Points for keeping it simple. Sky backbreakers Star and we hit the dancing for a bit. Zokre is back up with a middle rope double Blockbuster and everyone is down.

A surfboard to Tornado sets up a reverse Angle Slam from Star for two. Star spears Sky down for two more with Tornado making the save and sending Zokre outside. We settle back down to Tornado vs. Star, the latter of whom elbows the heck out of Tornado. A low blow has no effect on Tornado (it’s a thing with him) as everything breaks down again. Zokre breaks up Sky’s springboard and Star takes him out with a big dive.

Tornado takes them both down with a big flip dive and Zokre teases his own but bounces off the ropes instead. That leaves Sky to hit him with a twisting backbreaker, followed by a big dive of his own. Sky misses a frog splash though and everyone is back in. The Luchas tease stereo springboards but Zokre drops to the apron instead, leaving Star to hit a springboard flipping legdrop on Sky instead. Tornado breaks up Zokre’s dive but gets sent outside. That leaves the Luchas to hit a top rope Lionsault/springboard Swanton to finish Sky at 11:52.

Rating: C. That ending was rather sloppy and they didn’t exactly hide what happened. It was a fine enough spotfest match other than that but nothing that hasn’t been done better. Sky wasn’t standing out as much as he would later, though this wasn’t the kind of place for him to stand out. Fine enough match, but nothing that hasn’t been done better elsewhere.

Christopher Daniels vs. AJ Styles vs. El Generico vs. Kevin Steen

One fall to a finish for the #1 contendership for the World Title later tonight (the schedule had to be changed as original #1 contender Tony Stradlin was signed by WWE, where he never got out of developmental). Steen is better known as Kevin Owens and Generico is someone who knows Sami Zayn. Daniels gets a heck of a reception during the Big Match Intros and Styles’ isn’t that far behind. The MR. WRESTLING (Steen) chants start up after the bell as the fans are rather fickle here.

Steen (who is SKINNY here, as well as incredibly young) and Generico start things off and we actually have tags in a bit of a surprise. After a minute and a half of standing around, Steen takes Generico down with a front facelock. That’s reversed into a Fujiwara armbar as Excalibur talks about how he doesn’t like Generico that much. Steen switches to a headlock as Excalibur talks about loving astronomy and cooking, which somehow ties into Generico speaking French and Spanish but not English.

Generico armdrags Steen into the corner and it’s off to Daniels vs. Styles. That sends Daniels straight to the floor because he doesn’t want Styles just yet. So we can keep things moving, Styles tags Generico, who armdrags Daniels into an armbar. That lets Excalibur talk about NBA players using armdrags and the armbarring continues. Daniels chops his way out as Excalibur moves on to insulting all of Mexico, plus questioning how a luchador can be so pale.

Generico gets over to Styles for another tag so Daniels brings Steen back in. Styles slaps Steen in the face for offering a handshake (jerk) and headlocks him over. Now commentary has moved on to discussing Canadian television as Steen fights up, only to get caught in some armdrags. Back up and it’s off to Generico, who gets pulled into the corner so Daniels can keep him in trouble. Daniels even decks Steen, because Daniels isn’t that nice. It’s back to Steen for two off a snap suplex but Generico grabs a bridging northern lights suplex for two of his own.

Steen takes Generico down again and hands it back to AJ for a kick to the face/mask area. Generico blocks a suplex attempt so AJ goes with the always great drop down into the dropkick for two more. AJ goes Nexus with a McGillicutter but Daniels tags himself in and gets the two count. We hit the chinlock with a knee in the back as Excalibur wraps up a two minute story about sending his dad a picture of AJ’s dropkick. Daniels drags Generico over to the corner so Steen tags himself in and unloads on Daniels to even the score from earlier. Steen grabs a chinlock with a knee in the back as the fans chant for Daniels again.

The regular chinlock goes on for a bit until Daniels elbows his way to freedom. A double clothesline drops both of them and it’s Steen bringing in AJ, with Generico nowhere to be seen. AJ unloads on Daniels with clotheslines and a spinwheel kick, followed by a neckbreaker for two. Daniels is back with a Blue Thunder Bomb for two of his own but the moonsault out of the corner into the reverse DDT puts Daniels down again.

Steen comes in for the save and gets belly to back faceplanted for two more. Daniels is back in with an Iconoclasm for two on Styles with Steen making the save this time as the tagging has been dropped. AJ sends Daniels to the floor and hits a big dive as Generico comes back in. Steen teases his own dive….and then covers Generico for the pin and the title shot at 21:19.

Rating: B. This was the first match that felt like a big deal and I can give you four guesses why that was the case. As you might have expected, AJ feels like the biggest and most polished star of the match, though Daniels wasn’t far behind. Good match here though and Steen doing the logical thing to take the pin is very fitting for him, even back then.

Next up is the Tag Team Title match but the champs, Arrogance (Scott Lost/Chris Bosh) have something to say. Before we can get to that though, the fans tell Kazarian that he’s the coolest. Kazarian is ready to introduce his mystery partner but Lost needs to announce that ROBOCOP will be here in two weeks (at the venue, not a PWG show). Bosh: “I LOVE ROBOCOP!”

Hold on though as Bosh needs to go to the floor and insult all of the different races in the crowd (seriously), including saying “and we also have our white people!”. Lost gets back in the ring and says Kazarian’s real name is…..Snake Duncan? Apparently he’s going to WWE and they’ll join him there someday. Kazarian says he knows Arrogance likes movie references, so Kazarian references Bosh’s mother having, ahem, relations with various races in HER movies. With that, it’s time to meet Kazarian’s partner.

Tag Team Titles: Arrogance vs. Frankie Kazarian/Joey Ryan

Kazarian and Ryan, the latter dubbed the Homeless Vagabond, are challenging with Ryan making a big return. Before we’re ready to go, Bosh gets in an argument with a mentally challenged fan in the crowd, allowing Excalibur to make fat jokes about Ryan. Bosh steals a large fan’s chair (off camera) as we await the opening bell. Arrogance can’t decide who starts and the referee is getting fed up of this, so commentary makes fun of El Generico.

It’s a brawl to start with Lost spearing Bosh by mistake. Lost gets sent into Bosh in the corner and Kazarian adds a corner dropkick for a bonus. The slingshot dive hits Lost as Ryan seems content to stand on the apron and applaud. Ryan comes in and Lost (Ryan’s former partner) bails in a hurry so Ryan hurricanranas Bosh instead. Bosh gets chopped over and over in the corner and Kazarian’s running neckbreaker gets two.

A missed charge in the corner lets Bosh stomp Kazarian down and Lost comes in to punch Kazarian in the face (as per Bosh’s instructions). Lost’s leg lariat gets two (Bosh: “Good s***.”) and Bosh comes back in, mocks Kazarian’s springboards, and forearms him in the back. A clothesline drives Kazarian’s back onto Lost’s raised knees for no cover, as it’s time to choke on the rope instead. Some loud laughter sets up another forearm to the back, followed by a Tarantula from Bosh.

Lost gets in a rather blatant low blow, as DQ’s apparently don’t count around here. A Stinger Splash (or close to one) connects for Bosh but Kazarian gets in a spinning sunset bomb to get a much needed breather. Ryan comes in and low blows Bosh’s top rope dive out of the air but Lost runs away from the Ryan threat. Lost tries a cheap shot to no effect and it’s Ryan cleaning house on both champs. A slam puts Lost onto Bosh and Kazarian hits a top rope legdrop onto both of them.

It’s back to Kazarian, as Ryan is fine with watching him fight both champs at once. I’m starting to think he’s not the best partner. A Stunner stuns Kazarian into a Rock Bottom into a backbreaker for two. Kazarian is back up with a twisting DDT/swinging Downward Spiral, allowing the tag off to Ryan. Some rolling German suplexes put Bosh down and a fisherman’s suplex gets two. Lost kicks Ryan off the top but Kazarian does the same to Bosh, with the latter falling out to the floor.

Lost dropkicks Kazarian but grabs his knee and falls out to the floor with the referee checking on him. Ryan uses the distraction to grab a chair, which Kazarian takes away in a hurry. Bosh knocks them into each other and BLASTS Ryan in the head with said chair. Since Ryan is who he is, he flicks his head up to check where everything is (of course) and Bosh comes in to get the easy pin to retain at 13:15.

Rating: C+. Ryan looking up at the end made me laugh quite a bit because even when he’s just a guy in tights, he has to do something to take away the realism. The match was fine enough, but it wasn’t anything that hasn’t been done better. Maybe knowing and seeing more of the backstory would help, but Ryan was just a guy in tights here, which I’ll take over the more famous persona. Just….stop doing stupid stuff.

Post match Kazarian and some trainers check on Ryan. The fans give Ryan an ovation….and he kicks Kazarian low. Excalibur tries to come in and gets shoved away, so here’s Arrogance to stomp on Kazarian as well. A failed save attempt earns Excalibur his own beating and Ryan grabs the mic. Ryan says Kazarian expects him to be the good guy, and where did that get him? He’s been on his couch eating generic knockoff Cheetos for the last month.

Trying to please the people does him no good because Kazarian cost him a chance to become a champion. The worst thing the people did was like him more than they liked Scott Lost. That caused the problems between Ryan and Lost, who is Ryan’s best friend. The fans don’t think much of the best friend deal and it’s even worse when Ryan apologizes to Lost. Ryan and Lost hug but Kazarian runs back in to chase them off. Not a bad post match angle.

PWG World Title: Super Dragon vs. Kevin Steen

Steen is challenging and jumps Dragon from behind during the entrances. Dragon’s robe is thrown down and Steen tosses him into the chairs. They get inside with Steen hitting a spinwheel kick but it’s too early for the package piledriver. Super Dragon can’t hit a curb stomp but can get a figure four necklock to slow Steen down. A basement dropkick gives Dragon two and some Kawada kicks make it worse.

Dragon grabs a full nelson with his legs, meaning some kicks to the back of the head can rock Steen again. A snapmare gets one on Steen (probably because it was a snapmare) and he grabs the rope to block a Psycho Driver (whatever that is). Dragon sends him outside but misses a flipping suicide dive for a NASTY crash (with the good visual of the fans spreading away). Steen is glad to capitalize on Dragon’s banged up knee but he needs to yell at a fan too.

More yelling at another fan lets Dragon remember what planet he’s on before Steen throws him back in. A missile dropkick gets two on Dragon and Steen puts on his own leg full nelson with kicks to the head. Steen slams him down but stops to yell at the fans again. That means a rather delayed two, followed by a neckbreaker onto the knee for the same. We hit the choking, as Steen is looking great as the cocky heel here. A flipping legdrop gives Steen two more as Excalibur talks about going to a Detroit Pistons game and knee braces called can openers.

Dragon misses a rolling kick into the corner and bangs up the knee all over again. Steen takes too much time AGAIN though and now the rolling kick knocks him out to the floor. The running flip dive connects this time and they’re both down on the floor. Back in and Dragon hits a jumping stomp to the ribs, setting up the curb stomp. The fans want another one but Steen reverses into a small package for two. Another curb stomp gives Dragon two and a top rope backsplash gets the same.

Dragon misses a Cannonball though and Steen hits a great looking moonsault for his own near fall. Excalibur chokes on some water as the dueling chants begin. Steen grabs a slingshot Downward Spiral for a very close two, meaning it’s time for the package piledriver. A quick hurricanrana into a clothesline gives Dragon his own two and they’re both down again.

It’s Dragon up first to miss a top rope stomp, allowing Steen to grab a fisherman’s buster for the next near fall. Steen hits his own curb stomp and a heck of a package piledriver gets two more. That’s the kickout that lets you know Steen isn’t winning, even as Dragon rolls outside. Back in and Steen tries the Psycho Driver (it starts with a torture rack) but Dragon slips out and grabs his own package piledriver to retain at 18:16.

Rating: B. The match was good action with some solid near falls, but at the same time there was very little feeling that Steen was going to win the title. Once Dragon kicked out of the package piledriver, there was no chance whatsoever and it showed badly. Still though, good main event indeed with Steen as a great heel, even though it’s weird seeing a heel coming in at a disadvantage after wrestling a long match earlier tonight.

We’re off the air less than fifteen seconds after the bell and with Excalibur in mid-sentence.

Before we wrap things up, the DVD also includes a set of promos from after (or maybe during) the show.

Excalibur and Disco Machine are furious about their loss but they have fixed their burned bridges. Now Top Gun Talwar and Hook Bomberry have burned their own bridges. Ronin comes in and says they were having a good match and shakes Excalibur’s hand. Excalibur talks about how that is the kind of sportsmanship you want in a professional wrestler. Not anabolic steroids like in Talwar and Bomberry. That’s more fire than I’ve ever heard from Excalibur and it wasn’t bad.

Chris Sabin talks about coming to California and he’s made a name for himself everywhere else. Tonight, he showed why he’s better than everyone else, but that was just step one.

Talwar and Bomberry want to go to Tijuana, kill a hooker, and do cocaine off of her body. Steroids are discussed and apparently Talwar has absorbed title belts. This place is weird. Talwar: “I’m on steroids! I do cocaine! I f*** hookers!”

Joey Ryan talks about how he used to come here every month and wrestle but his fans stole everything from him. They always wanted him to be a nice guy but nice guys finish last. Where did any of that get him? It got him on the shelf for six months.

Chris Bosh and Scott Lost ask for some silence for their shoot interview. Their guest is the handicapped fan from earlier, who explains that he is very smart. He has spent a lot of time online learning about the independent wrestling scene. Bosh doesn’t think much of him so they yell at each other a lot.

The fan turns his back over threats of Bosh exposing himself but is told to sit down. He flips both of them off quite a bit over his DVD choices and then ask him about ask him about his, shall we say, size. The fan lists off various sex acts in regards to Lost and then shouts that Bosh is horny, over and over again. He then howls and leaves to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: B-. One of the criticisms that you hear about PWG is the lack of storylines but that wasn’t the case here at all, with more than enough to keep me into the show and knowing what was going on. That being said, a lot of the wrestling was just ok with the four way and main event being good enough to see. It’s a good enough show and at just a shade over two hours, it’s not something you can complain about all that much. Granted your Ernest tastes may vary, but overall, not bad at all and I could go for more of the company.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Ohio Valley Wrestling

OVW 1000
Date: October 13, 2018
Location: 4^th Street Live, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Gilbert Corsey, Shannon the Dude, Ted McNaler

Way back in 2004, I started watching Ohio Valley Wrestling on local TV and stuck with it for a few years. There is something cool about having one of the more important regional promotions of the generation an hour from your house so I almost had to check this one out. It’s a special double length episode featuring a tournament for the OVW Title. I have next to no idea what to expect coming into this but it should be fun. Let’s get to it.

We open from the intro to the very first episode from 1998.

The same Dean Hill who opened the original show welcomes us to this one and it’s time for the first match.

It’s a rather cool and seemingly outside venue. Either that or it’s in the middle of a fairly dark mall/shopping center. It’s a good look.

OVW Title Tournament First Round: Tommy Dreamer vs. Justin Smooth

Smooth has some size to him and OF COURSE TOMMY DREAMER IS ON THIS SHOW BECAUSE HE’S ON EVERY SHOW! There’s no commentary to speak of early on so I’m even further on my own. That’s what online guides are for as otherwise I wouldn’t have known this was a tournament match. They trade wristlocks to start until Dreamer headlocks him down and it’s an early standoff. Smooth grabs his own wristlock but Dreamer reverses with a headscissors for the standoff sequel.

They shove each other a bit and the fans are behind Dreamer (leave it to Louisville fans to be out there). Some standing switches let Dreamer call spots before Smooth gets the better of a chop off in the corner. They head outside with Dreamer hitting him in the head with a drink as what sounds like commentary starts creeping in. Did they just have the audio mix really messed up? Not the best sign for a big anniversary show like this. Anyway they go inside with Smooth kicking him in the ribs. Dreamer grabs a cutter but Smooth kicks him in the face for the pin at 6:10.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here and commentary only coming in later in the match didn’t help things. I know OVW isn’t the biggest promotion in the world, but getting the sound mix right shouldn’t be that complicated. Other than that though, it was a 2018 Tommy Dreamer match. Smooth looked good though and with more seasoning, he’ll probably go somewhere.

There are some commercials between most of the matches, mainly for Al Snow’s Collar X Elbow clothing, OVW training, house shows, and local sponsors. Consider this the big group recap for all of them on the show.

OVW Title Tournament First Round: Billy Gunn vs. Randall Floyd

Commentary is messed up again for the entrances. Gunn does his half of the Outlaws intro and we’re ready to go. Gunn grabs the arm to start and shoves him into the ropes without much effort. Floyd does the same to him and it’s time to get a little more serious. A takedown lets Floyd pull on the leg, sending Gunn outside for a breather.

Floyd follows and gets sent into the apron for his efforts, meaning it’s the chinlock back inside. Back up and Floyd charges into an elbow in the corner but the Fameasser misses. Instead Floyd grabs a t-bone suplex for two and shock sets in for a bit. Gunn is right back with a quick Fameasser for the pin at 5:01.

Rating: D+. Well they’re not exactly wasting time with this thing so far. There wasn’t much to see here but they’re getting the bigger names on the show early on. Moving Gunn forward is a fine idea as it gives whoever beats him a nice win, even if it wasn’t exactly much to see in getting him to the next round. Then again, what exactly should I be expecting here?

OVW Title Tournament First Round: Crimson vs. Jax Dane

Crimson used to be in Impact Wrestling, Dane is a former NWA World Champion, and these two are regular partners. They tease the Fingerpoke of Doom but then get serious with some shoving. Crimson’s overhead belly to belly doesn’t do much and Dane’s belly to belly doesn’t do much more.

Dane’s headbutt and running shoulder do a bit more and now the overhead belly to belly works just fine. Something like a Claymore staggers Dane and a double clothesline puts them both down. Cue Crazzy Steve, someone not named, and Abyss, who chokeslams both guys behind the referee’s back. They get up but Steve and the other guy pull them to the floor for the double DQ at 4:27.

Rating: C-. Match of the night so far, which isn’t exactly covering much ground. Crimson and Dane are two big guys who work well together and you can see why they are a good regular team. They were having a nice power match here before the storyline ending, which was a smart move. There’s no need to have one go over the other if the team is staying together so Abyss and company costing them the match makes sense.

Post match the other four brawl to the back so it’s Abyss grabbing the mic. He spits at the idea of Louisville (I’ve always liked Abyss) and promises to win the title. So get his opponent out here.

OVW Title Tournament First Round: Abyss vs. Shane Helms

This could be interesting….or it could be but here are Abyss’ goons (different goons than before and called The Void) carrying an out of it Helms, in street clothes, to the ring. Helms is out of it and Abyss demands the bell ring. Abyss covers for two a few times and Helms tries to fight back, only to fall down on a slam attempt. Some neck cranking ensues but Helms fights up again and hits a middle rope back elbow. The Void comes in and get chokeslammed by Helms, but the Black Hole Slam gives Abyss the pin at 3:20.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see from a match perspective, which is kind of a shame as there is as natural of a story here as you could have gotten. That being said, Abyss seems to have a big master plan to win the tournament and that’s fine for a story throughout the show. It doesn’t make for the best matches, but it does make sense and that’s important on a major show like this.

Here are the updated brackets:

Justin Smooth

Billy Gunn

BYE

Abyss

Megan Monroe/ODB/Victoria vs. It Girls

The It Girls are Cali, Jaylee (Women’s Champion) and Valerie Vermin (one of those names doesn’t quite fit). ODB and Cali (a rather ditsy blonde) bump chests to start with ODB knocking her into the corner for some chopping. Victoria and Jaylee come in with the latter making some old jokes, earning herself some hair pulls over Victoria’s back. The spinning side slam gets two on Jaylee and it’s Megan coming in for a double clothesline.

A Partisan elbow sends Jaylee over to the corner to Vermin, who is taken down into a quick half crab. Cali makes the save and snaps Megan’s throat across the top rope, allowing Jaylee to kick at Megan’s knee. A German suplex gets Megan out of trouble though and the hot tag brings in ODB to clean house, including a double Bronco Buster to Cali and Valerie. Everything breaks down and it’s a Widow’s Peak to Jaylee, followed by a delayed vertical suplex to give Megan the pin on Vermin at 5:15.

Rating: C-. The wrestling was fine and Monroe looks to have some solid athleticism, but this was about having the OVW stars of days past back. Yeah imagine that: looking at history on a milestone show. We haven’t done that all night save for the quick opening, and I’m really not sure why that hasn’t been the case. They’re keeping things moving on the show, but you can tell who has the star power and it isn’t the regular OVW roster.

Referee Joe Wheeler is brought out for an interview, who has been here since the first show. He sees a lot of fans who have been here since the beginning and is glad to be here. Next up is trainer Rip Rogers (read his Twitter and take notes if you want a great wrestling education), who films the crowd and starts an OVW chant.

Then it’s one of the big ones, with Jim Cornette, who really did need to be at something like this. Cornette talks about how he helped run three hundred some odd shows and the goal was always to make OVW as good as possible. Now look where they are. Dean Hill (longtime commentator and ring announcer) is up next and he can’t believe he was the first person on OVW TV. He gets to start an OVW chant as well in a nice moment. That leaves one possible option to close it out so here’s Nightmare Danny Davis, the founder and longtime owner of the promotion.

Davis puts over Rogers, Cornette and the fans and you can hear the emotion in his voice. This was a very nice moment and something that had to happen on a show like this. Everyone hugs but here’s Nova (in a Simon Dean jacket over a BWO shirt) with his team for the ten man tag.

Nova wants them to show some respect to the wrestlers, so Cornette says go find some wrestlers and he’ll show them respect. Cue Team Capp (presumably for Matt Cappotelli, a former Tough Enough winner and former OVW Champion who had to relinquish the title and retire due to brain cancer, which killed him earlier in the year) with Rocco Bellagio (an awesome name) to get in a HOW DARE YOU. It’s time to fight.

Team Capp vs. Team Nova

Capp: Rocco Bellagio, Melvin Maximus, Michael Hayes, Randy Royal, Tyler Matrix

Nova: Adam Revolver, Jay Bradley, Nova, Paul Burchill, Vaughn Lilas

Nova has Josh Ashcroft and Shannon the Dude with them. All ten are former OVW Champions and Royal knees Revolver down to start. Bradley comes in to shove Royal down and it’s off to Maximus (old and strong) for a test of strength. Melvin gets the better of it and shoulders him down, allowing the tag to Matrix. Bradley misses a knee drop and brings in Lilas (I remember him from around 2008 and this seems to be his first match in four years).

Hayes (the one with a metal leg, not the famous Hayes) to suplex Burchill down. Burchill is back up and drives him into the corner for a wind up lariat. The villains lure the good guys in and the mass stomping keeps Hayes down. Burchill misses a knee drop though and it’s the diving tag to bring in Bellagio. House is cleaned and we hit the parade of secondary finishers. Matrix hits a big running flip dive onto a bunch of villains, leaving Danny Davis to knock Nova into a Rock Bottom from Bellagio for the pin at 6:32.

Rating: C. This is a case of considering the idea. The whole point here was to have some big names from OVW’s past come in and do a big mess of a match (not a bad thing in this case) with Davis getting to punch a known loudmouth in the face. I had a good time with it and it was the most fun out of anything all night, with the legends ceremony before it making things better.

OVW Title Tournament Semifinals: Billy Gunn vs. Justin Smooth

Smooth is the same size as Gunn, which is rather impressive. Gunn grabs a headlock before trying a running shoulder to no avail. An exchange of elbows goes to Smooth but Gunn sends him outside. Some rams into various things have Smooth in more trouble but he avoids a Stinger Splash. Gunn is right back with a quick Fameasser for two and panic ensues. He loads it up again but Justin hits the pump kick for the pin at 4:24.

Rating: D+. Another nothing match that didn’t have time to go anywhere. There is only so much that you can get out of a match that doesn’t even last four and a half minutes, which was on display here. Smooth does look good for surviving the Fameasser and pinning Gunn, but everything has gone so fast for Smooth that it doesn’t really mean much.

Shiloh Jonze vs. Mike Eagle

Jonze is a white rapper with Big D. and David Lee Lorenze III. Eagle on the other hand is an actual rapper who got a wrestling license for the sake of this angle. Before the match, Eagle raps about the three of them so Jonze, carrying a crown, brags about his posse. It turns out Eagle has a posse of his own, so here’s Mr. Anderson, who also brings out Mick Foley (who never actually wrestled in OVW).

Eagle takes him down to start and it’s a hip toss into a slam to put Jonze on the floor. A distraction lets Jonze get in a shot from behind though, meaning the dancing is on. Jonze chops him in the corner but Eagle is back with some atomic drops. Big D. trips Eagle from the floor but Jonze misses a charge in the corner and walks into a hurricanrana. D. comes in and gets Mic Checked by Anderson, followed by the same thing to Lorenze. Foley gets up on the apron with the sock, putting enough fear into Jonze for Eagle to roll him up for the pin at 4:36.

Rating: C-. It’s a celebrity match and that’s all it needed to be. Eagle looked fine here and while I’m not sure what kind of of a star he is, the point here was seeing the heel get beaten up. The legends helped too, as Foley showing up on a show run by Al Snow is hardly shocking. This was perfectly fine for what it was and that’s acceptable in this spot.

OVW Title: Justin Smooth vs. Abyss

For the vacant title and this is joined in progress for the sake of not running out of time. Abyss chokes on the rope to start and there are the loud chops in the corner. Smooth gets in some right hands and a corner splash but here’s the Void (Steve and Amon) to jump him from behind. Abyss cranks on the head but Smooth fights up with a flying shoulder. A spinebuster gives us a double knockdown until Smooth goes up.

Amon pulls him down and posts him though, allowing Abyss to hit a botched chokeslam (it looked like Smooth tried to slip out but then went down for it anyway). Abyss tries to bring in a chair but walks into a DDT with a nip up. The pump kick into the chair into Abyss’ face gets two but another kick misses. The Black Hole Slam gives Abyss the pin and the title at 8:31 shown.

Rating: D+. What a weird ending, as there was only so much that they could do with the rather short amount of time and all of the interference. The ending was surprising as this felt like a place for Smooth to get the big win, though commentary talked about Abyss’ path of destruction/plan to win the title so it was well set up. It’s not exactly a feel good story for the ending, but at least they went with a story that made sense long term.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a rather strange show, as you would expect a bit more history but it never quite got there outside of a few months. It did feel like a big show, with the crowd and venue alone making it seem like an important deal. At the same time though, there were still some moments that felt pretty low level. On top of that, the wrestling was nothing of note throughout the night, mainly due to time constraints. They were trying though and the show doesn’t overstay its welcome at an hour and forty eight minutes. If you’re not a big OVW fan though, I wouldn’t bother with it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

This is something I’ve been wanting to see for years.

Back in the day, as in before the WWF took over the wrestling world, everything was built around the idea of territories. Each one had its own identity and one of the most unique was Memphis, which had a style all to itself and could never quite be duplicated. You would see a lot of elements of it elsewhere, but only Memphis could do it right.

From the mid 60s to the mid 90s, just about everyone who was anything of note had at least a cup of coffee in Memphis. It’s almost a rite of passage in wrestling as you have to come into that strange little world down in west Tennessee. There are some people down there who are absolute mainstays of the territory and that’s where things pick up on this rather good but somewhat lacking film.

What we have here is a documentary on the territory, or at least some of the bigger parts of it. You get a look at the beginning, a big look at Jerry Lawler, a good look at Jimmy Hart, the Andy Kaufman stuff, a LOT on Sputnik Monroe (a very important name when it came to race relations in the south) and some random stories.

The problem is that’s about it, and there was WAY more to cover in all of Memphis. The main feature runs about an hour and a half, which felt like a good first third or even fourth of what should have been the whole thing. It was kind of weird seeing what felt like it should have been a much bigger film, but what you get is some very good stuff, mainly because of all the people they interview. Jerry Jarrett, Jerry Lawler, Bill Dundee, Jimmy Hart and a bunch of other people are included, as they have to be in something like this.

It’s definitely worth checking out if you’re a fan of this kind of stuff, as the classic footage and stories are more than worth it (the extras are some of the best parts of the whole thing). The biggest thing though was I wanted to see more, which is the sign of something being done right. At the same time though, there was SO much that it felt like they left out that it feels more incomplete than anything else.

IMG Credit: National Wrestling Alliance

NWA Texoma Wrestling
Date: October 20, 2017
Location: Sherman Elks Lodge, Sherman, Texas
Commentators: Joe Exotic, Richard Pendleton

So odds are by now you have heard of Joe Exotic and Tiger King. If you know anything about the show, you know that Exotic is seen as one of the most insane and over the top people in pop culture these days and you could feel the wrestling levels of insanity in his show. Well as it turns out, he promoted some events as part of a small NWA territory, which is where we’re looking today. I’m almost terrified of where this is going so let’s get to it.

After a Joe Exotic music video (about long time rival Carole Baskin feeding her dead husband to tigers, because of course), we’re ready to go.

Exotic is on commentary and my goodness that voice is going to get old in a hurry. He says our first match is called a dark match, meaning it features younger wrestlers just getting into the sport.

Gray vs. Blue

There are no introductions or graphics and the announcers don’t know their names either so I’m going to have to figure out what is going on. For now, we’ll go with the color of their shirts because it’s about all there is out there. Given that Pendleton doesn’t seem to have done commentary before, we’re relying on Exotic the entire time. Since he calls an armdrag an armbar in the first minute and a half, it’s going to be a long, long night.

The one in gray grabs a rollup (and perhaps tights) for two and then throws on the armbar again. As the one in blue is knocked into the corner, Exotic goes on about how he is having a political event in Oklahoma in December. A shoulder to the ribs is called an elbow to the ribs as you can add anatomy to things Exotic doesn’t understand. Blue headscissors Gray outside, with Exotic saying it’s a ten count to get back in or it’s DQ.

A slingshot dive takes Gray down as Joe is talking about all the people watching, including several in Saudi Arabia. Gray drops him back first onto the apron for two and it’s a knee into Blue’s back with a pull of the leg. The rope is grabbed so Gray hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker (Exotic: “Oh s***! God d***!”). Blue is whipped hard into the corner and it’s another backbreaker into a chinlock. Back up and Blue rolls away (Exotic: “What was that called?”) before hitting double knees to the arm.

A cross armbreaker sends Gray to the rope as commentary goes out. It’s right back and Blue grabs the Rings of Saturn, which is rolled into the ropes again. Blue misses a top rope backsplash and sits on the mat. That lets Gray look like he is loading up a Code Red but he leans backwards to bend Blue over and lift up both arms (that’s a new one and either looks awesome or very stupid) to make Blue tap at 10:59.

Rating: C-. The match was perfectly watchable with a crazy unique finisher that looked all kinds of painful. The problem here is that the show feels like total amateur hour with commentary swearing every few seconds and not knowing the difference between a countout and a DQ. Also, you can’t get a piece of paper saying WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE??? Come on already people. At least try.

Commentary complains about the sound issues again as Nigel Rabbit (Maybe? You try understanding Exotic.), a heel manager, comes out. Nigel has a big paddle and two guys with him and asks some wrestlers to come to ringside. Apparently this is a tribute to Bobby Heenan, so after the ten bell salute, Exotic is annoyed at not knowing he was supposed to go to the ring.

One of the guys who came to the ring with Nigel says what I think is something about the Las Vegas mass shooting and asks for a moment of silence. With that out of the way, it’s time to present an award to Exotic for everything he has done for NWA Texoma. Thankfully he doesn’t say anything.

Thankfully we now have a ring announcer who seems to know what she is talking about.

Exotic wants to know where the National Anthem is.

NAWA Heavyweight Title: Bryson Scott vs. Jerome Daniels

Daniels is defending (the North American Wrestling Allegiance, which he won earlier in the month) and has a lot of charisma. At the same time, we don’t have a lot of sound but that is just something to get used to here. Daniels has a few guys with him and Exotic says Daniels was in WWE for a long time. If that’s true, I can’t find any evidence of it anywhere and Daniels looks to be a rather young guy.

Before the match, Daniels gets the mic and hypes up the crowd, though Exotic talks to production over his speech. Apparently the NWA Texoma Champion isn’t defending his title so Scott is getting a shot instead. Daniels gets a rather lengthy introduction and, again, Exotic won’t shut up while anyone else is talking. Daniels’ guys are sent to the back and we’re ready to go.

A kick to the leg sends Scott to the apron and they go to the mat for some rapid fire near falls. Back up and Scott flips out of a backdrop and hits a headscissors. Daniels is right there with a dropkick and it’s Scott bailing out to the floor. Daniels follows and gets dropped back first onto the apron. Back in and a swinging neckbreaker gives Scott two but Daniels is back with a hard clothesline.

We look at the commentators for a good while before coming back to the ring with Scott stomping away. We hit the chinlock until Daniels fights up, only to get leg lariated in the face. Scott’s middle rope moonsault hits knees and he goes to the middle rope to dive into Daniels’ powerslam.

With Exotic dropping an F bomb over the near fall, it’s time to slug it out from their knees. Daniels kicks him in the head for two and they both have to pull themselves to their feet. Daniels’ powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana for two but Daniels rolls into a sunset flip for the same. Scott charges at him again but this t me Daniels pulls him into a triangle choke for the tap at 12:36.

Rating: C. Daniels shows some potential and looks like someone who could get a job after a few more years on the indies. Scott was just a heel but it was a fine enough match from both sides. Just find a way to mute commentary entirely and we could have been seeing the match of the night here.

The ring announcer says that the company is going to be part of the Unified Wrestling Alliance. She hands the mic off to a man, who might be from that organization but it’s not clear.

Tim Storm vs. Aaron Size

Storm’s NWA World Title isn’t on the line. Storm takes his time getting to the ring and presents his manager (an unnamed woman who commentary can only describe as “not his wife”). I think that’s what Aaron’s last name is and commentary is as helpful as usual. We do at least get his manager’s name as Miss Tiffany. They take their time with the staredown until the much bigger Storm launches him into the corner.

Size’s rollup gets one and we get a quick handshake. Storm drops him with a shoulder and a boot to the face into a backbreaker gets two on Size. There’s a gorilla press drop (Exotic: “Oh s*** fire!”) into a claw to send Size bailing into the corner. Size kicks away and hits an enziguri, followed by a tornado DDT (which Pendleton calls a neckbreaker). The moonsault misses though and the Perfect Storm (swinging Boss Man Slam) gives Storm the pin at 5:57.

Rating: D+. Storm is someone who has grown on me tremendously over the last year or so and a lot of that is due to how solid he is in the ring. He isn’t going to do anything flashy or anything you haven’t seen before, but he does things well enough that you can buy what you’re seeing. This was just a step ahead of a squash and it made Storm look like the biggest star on the show so far. Not too bad actually, at least from a presentation standpoint.

Post match Size hits on Tiffany and gets slapped. Size leaves and the ring announcer gets in the ring to talk about how great Storm is. A kid presents Storm with a portrait of Storm with the NWA World Title in a nice moment. Storm thanks the fans for coming out and says this is his home. They go to leave but here’s some unnamed heel to break the picture over Storm’s head. Classic angle that will always work, but SAYING THE GUY’S NAME might be a nice addition.

Simply Luscious vs. Brynne

I’m not sure if it’s Brynne or Brie, as the amateur hour continues. Commentary makes jokes about Luscious “taking male pills”, her claiming to be straight, and needing to shave under her arms. Luscious jumps her from behind for some face first rams into the buckle. Brynne comes back as Pendleton talks about how scary “the girl in the purple” (Luscious) is.

A double clothesline puts both of them down and they slug it out from their knees. Brynne hits some running splashes in the corner (Pendleton: “That was a sandwich. That was so big I’m going to call it a Subway.”) but a missed charge lets Luscious get a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin at 3:15. Pendleton: “The nasty woman won. Please go shave your armpits.”

Rating: D. I feel sorry for the women here as they seem to have been put on there more for the sake of having a women’s match on the card. Fair enough for them to get a payday and it’s FAR better than some disasters you’ll see on a show of this level, but my goodness commentary is actually getting worse. This was the kind of stuff that felt like warmed over Jerry Lawler material and I mean that in the worst possible way. This is getting worse and worse all night and I didn’t think that was possible.

Post match Luscious jumps her again and yells at commentary as Brynne takes off her boot. She leaves one in the ring and bows to the crowd, as this was apparently her last match.

It’s a ten minute intermission, but since this is on Joe Exotic TV, that means a Joe Exotic music video. In other words, music over video of him playing with tigers at his zoo.

After that video (which somehow required five camera operators and two directors), it’s the same video that opened the show.

And now, a third music video featuring Exotic and company feeding birds at the zoo. This goes so far beyond a vanity project that it’s hard to believe. In a nice moment, it is billed as a tribute to his father, who has Alzheimer’s. Also of note: the audio on these videos are terrible, as I haven’t changed it a bit and can barely make out the lyrics. Audio on the commentary is fine, but this might as well be whispered.

Back in the arena and the original ring announcer is back to introduce a Hall of Famer of some sort. He seems to be the referee.

Gino vs. Lance Hoyt

Well there’s your future star power, as Hoyt is AEW’s Lance Archer and Gino would go on to minor fame in MLW as Gino Medina. Believe it or not, Exotic’s format is off as he thinks this is a tag match featuring Charlie Haas. Hoyt bails to the floor as commentary talks about how horrible the bell is. They take turns rolling around to start and Gino grabs a waistlock to little avail. Some right hands and chops in the corner have Hoyt staggered and Gino knocks him to the floor.

Gino posts him (with Exotic not knowing what to call the post) and more chops have Hoyt in trouble. Back in and Gino’s springboard is broken up and Hoyt sends him face first into the announcers’ table. Now it’s Gino being posted but he slugs right back as commentary is freaking out about how close they’re getting to their table. Back in again and Hoyt runs him over with a shoulder as Pendleton keeps referring to Gino as Zorro.

Gino’s comeback is cut off by a running elbow to the face and we hit the neck crank. Hoyt gets two off a splash and the running splash in the corner keeps Gino in trouble. The yet to be named Blackout is escaped and Gino strikes away again, setting up a seated clothesline (Exotic: “I don’t know what that was called.”). A chokeslam gives Hoyt two and he catches Gino on top with the Blackout for the pin at 13:13.

Rating: C-. Watchable enough power vs. speed match here, even though Gino is a little bigger than most speed guys. You can see that Hoyt has come a long way in a few years here as he doesn’t quite have the same spark and fire here. Gino is someone who seems to have a lot of the tools but I’ve yet to see him put them all together. He’s far from bad, but I don’t know if I see the whole package.

Exotic: “You want a Coke?” He then goes on about trying to get a Coke, which is the most normal thing he’s said in at least an hour.

Charlie Haas/Randy White vs. Ty Wilson/Dante Smiley

Haas has a wooden paddle and Nigel as his manager. He also takes the mic from the ring announcer and shouts at everyone around, showing more charisma and energy than anyone else on the show so far. Jerome Daniels, a friend/stablemate of Wilson and Smiley sits in on commentary and is roughly 3857201749572475057x better than the two we’ve had so far. Like, he knows the wrestlers’ names!

Haas and Dante start as Davis talks about a successful trip the team made to Colorado recently. Haas stalls over and over, with nothing significant taking place in the first three minutes. Well granted something might be taking place in the ring but the camera is on commentary. Wayne comes in and immediately heads outside to yell at a fan. No, they aren’t doing anything physical, but it makes sense in this situation as the fans want to see them fight. It’s an art you don’t see enough of these days.

Back in and they lock up with Haas getting in a cheap shot, leaving White to start slapping. He accidentally slaps the referee so Haas comes over and gets yelled at as well. Smiley sends him into the corner for a dropkick but Wilson misses a charge. Haas comes in and stomps Smiley down in the corner, followed by some kicks to put him on the floor. The video feed starts glitching and Wayne works on the leg a bit more. Charlie hits a shinbreaker (Exotic: “Aw s***!”) and the rotating stomps continue.

Smiley slips out and makes the hot tag to Wilson, who is quickly low bridged to the floor (Exotic: “OH S***!”) to put them in trouble again. Back in and Haas hits a right hand to the jaw, followed by an overhead belly to belly for the flying crash. Dante gets knocked off the apron and White hits a t-bone suplex for two more. The reverse chinlock doesn’t last long so Haas goes with choking in the corner instead.

White’s chinlock keeps Wilson down but he fights up for a running knee to the face. That’s enough to bring Smiley back in and a Pele drops White. Everything breaks down and Dante’s leg gives out. Ty dives onto Haas….and I’m not sure if it connected or not due to the camera angle. Nigel offers a distraction though and Haas hits Smiley with a belt shot for the cheap pin at 22:45.

Rating: B-. Easily the best match of the night and a lot of that is due to having the commentary being competent for a change. The wrestling was good enough though as they set up a story and built it up over the match. You don’t see that on a show like this very often and Haas’ star power was shining strong here. Good match, partially because things were feeling a little more serious for a change.

Post match Daniels glares at Rabbit.

NWA Texoma Pro Heavyweight Title: Adam Asher vs. Ryan Davis

Davis is challenging and Daniels is still on commentary. Asher bails to the floor to start and then hides in the ropes as well. Davis sends him into some buckles, adds an uppercut, and then sends him into another buckle. They fight to the floor with Davis winning a slugout and sending Asher inside. Asher gets in a kick to the leg though and it’s time to work over said leg in the corner. The leg is wrenched down and a whip into the ropes sees Davis collapse in pain.

Davis holds up well enough to his a neckbreaker so Asher pulls out a chain to knock his way out of a belly to back suplex for two. The comeback is on with clotheslines and right hands in the corner as the fans are starting to get into this. The ref gets bumped and Asher goes low for a delayed near fall. Back up and the ref gets bumped a second time, allowing Asher to throw powder in Davis’ face to retain at 12:58. Exotic: S***!”

Rating: C-. This could have been worse as we had two big guys who were hitting each other fairly hard, but the tag match was better and they were going to have trouble following that. Also the ending got a little too messy and they could have gone with one of the three finishes instead of the whole trilogy. Not bad or anything, but just kind of there.

Post match Asher leaves but comes back out to Pillmanize Davis’ leg. Exotic and Pendleton (who hasn’t been heard in the last two matches) tell Daniels to get in there for the save and, after a test pattern, we see Daniels and a few other wrestlers helping Davis.

Overall Rating: D+. I’m really not sure what to think on this one, but it wasn’t exactly thrilling. We’ll get to the big part at the end but there’s nothing on this show that you need to see. It’s a pretty standard indy show with a few names you might recognize and little more. Jerome Daniels stood out both in the ring and on commentary and I wouldn’t mind seeing more of him.

But then there’s the commentary and e pluribus gads it might beat Heroes of Wrestling for the worst I have ever heard. Exotic being on there….fine. Yes he has one of the most annoying voices in recent memory and he swears far too much for what looks to be a family wrestling show, but is it too much to ask to KNOW THE NAMES OF THE WRESTLERS??? He seems to be the promoter and there are times where he doesn’t know who is wrestling in front of him. How is that something that slipped by you? Just…..write them down or something. It’s not that hard.

Then there was Pendleton, who really did seem like he had never been to a wrestling show before and was just there to fill in a seat. Get one of the wrestlers (maybe the NWA WORLD CHAMPION perhaps) to do it as they could at least know the names of moves. It was as much of an amateur hour clown show as I’ve ever heard and I was wondering if they swapped Daniels in for Pendleton just for how useless the latter was. Anyway, the show itself is fine enough, but save yourself an aspirin addiction and watch it with the sound off.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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IMG Credit: UWF

Beach Brawl
Date: June 9, 1991
Location: Manatee Civic Center, Palmetto, Florida
Attendance: 560
Commentators: Craig DeGeorge, Bruno Sammartino

Since my readers enjoy seeing my never ending spiral into madness, I present to you the Universal Wrestling Federation’s lone pay per view effort. This show is legendarily bad and one that I had on my original list of shows that I wanted to look at when I started reviewing shows. I’m not sure why I never got around to it but here we go. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look at Gorgeous George and Bruno Sammartino, when wrestling was still great. That’s how the UWF was founded, with Herb Abrams wanting to bring things back to the glory days.

A not exactly inspiring opening video shows what we’ve got coming tonight. It’s like the 1980s fell asleep and stumbled into a mostly empty arena.

Bam Bam Bigelow is ready to win the TV Title.

Steve Williams is ready to win the TV Title. Or as he puts it, he’s “going to wear the gold around his belt.”

The arena is dark, likely because no one is here.

Herb brings out the TV Title and picks Gordy to win.

Ricco explains what we’re going to be seeing tonight and gives us the two hotlines to call. He’s no Gene Okerlund.

Bam Bam Bigelow has been training hard for his match, but clearly not for thinking of interesting to say for this interview. The most interesting thing mentioned here: it’s his son’s birthday.

Steve Williams doesn’t have any surprises for Bigelow tonight because Bigelow knows what to expect. He’s been on top of the world everywhere so everyone knows that when he walks into a room, excitement happens. So Bigelow, be ready for a fireman’s carry or an armdrag! Or maybe the Oklahoma Stampede.

You can buy the program for the show!

Black Hearts vs. Fire Cat/Jim Cooper

The Black Hearts (which was spelled Black Harts during the opening video) are Apocalypse and Destruction (better known as Gangrel) and have Luna Vachon, with a snake around her neck, with them (Whom Bruno says is attractive. There’s an image I NEVER need to see again.). Cat would be briefly known as Battle Kat in the WWF. Luna and the Hearts have a small goblet which spits out some smoke and now we’re ready to go.

Cooper gets double shouldered down to start but manages to legsweep let’s say Destruction. A middle rope elbow takes Cooper down though and a jumping clothesline drops him again. Destruction gets uppercutted into the corner and it’s Cat coming in for two off a Hart Attack (with an elbow instead of a clothesline). A shoulder puts Cat down but he’s right back with a wristlock….to send Destruction outside?

Back in and it seems that the Hearts have changed places, with commentary not being sure which is which. Cooper avoids a middle rope elbow and it’s Cat coming back in to pick up the pace. A superkick puts Apocalypse on the floor again and it’s time for a breather. Back in again and Cat rolls Destruction up for two as DeGeorge talks about all the media covering the show. They probably didn’t have trouble finding a seat.

A crucifix gives Cat two, with Bruno calling it clever. That’s enough for the Hearts, who hit a double flying shoulder for two more. Apocalypse’s northern lights suplex gets two on Cat but he DDTs his way to freedom. Cooper comes back in but gets cheapshotted as everything breaks down. The Veg-O-Matic finishes Cooper at 6:51.

Rating: D+. Oh yeah this is going to be a rough one if this is what they picked for an opener. It’s not a terrible match or anything but it’s something that has been done better about a million times. This was a pretty dull and lifeless match with little doubt about who was winning the whole way. If this was supposed to make me want to watch the rest of the show, we’re in trouble.

Post match, Luna chokes a bit.

DeGeorge tries to explain where Palmetto is, eventually saying it’s about 45 miles south of Tampa. Maybe that has something to do with the horrible attendance? Just perhaps?

Luna wants more competition for the Black Hearts.

Terry Gordy vs. Johnny Ace

Street fight (also known as “we wish we were in Japan”) and Ace is Mr. All America. Even commentary acknowledges that the fans don’t care about him. They grapple against the ropes to start and it’s already a bit more energetic than the opener. Ace counters an atomic drop into a headlock, meaning that energy is already gone.

The headlock takeover puts Gordy down again and they stay on the mat for a bit. Gordy fights back up so Ace hits a middle rope spinning crossbody but Gordy blasts him with a clothesline for two. They go into the corner as DeGeorge talks about the Blackhawks in the first match. Gordy’s belly to back suplex gets a rather slow two, followed by a powerbomb for two more.

Gordy charges into a boot in the corner and Ace dropkicks him to the floor, setting up a dive to take him down again. Ace sends him into some chairs as they finally remember that this is a street fight. They fight beyond the crowd to show off the empty seats….and it’s a double countout at 6:27. In a street fight, leaving the announcers rather confused.

Rating: F. They had a double countout in a street fight. It doesn’t help that there was nothing street fightish about it until the last thirty seconds and what we got before then was hardly anything worth seeing. This show is already showing how weak it really is as we’re thirty minutes in and it feels like a bad indy show rather than some game changing pay per view.

Post match they keep fighting for a few more minutes until….well no one breaks it up actually. Gordy throws a chair in and dares Ace to join him but that’s not happening. For some reason Gordy turns his back and Ace chases him off, even stealing the chair. What a villain….I think? Gordy leaves but Ace follows him to brawl some more as this is almost longer than the match itself.

Mask Confusion vs. Power Twins

Mask Confusion is the Killer Bees and the Power Twins are Larry and David with John Tolos. Well they’re supposed to have him at least but the UWF isn’t allowing him to be here in front of these idiot fans. As you would guess, Masked Confusion is not masked. Larry shoves Brunzell around to start and a cheap shot from the apron lets the twins pound away. They aren’t bright enough to keep Brunzell from crawling to the corner so it’s off to Blair.

Larry is catapulted into David to knock both of them outside in the requisite heap. Back in and it’s a double spinning toehold on Larry, allowing Brunzell to crank on the leg. Black twists it around a bit as they start laying on the leg. There’s a double wishbone for two and it’s right back to the leglocking. Larry rakes the eye though and brings in David, who is taken straight down into the same spinning toehold.

This one doesn’t work as well and some forearms to the back set up the bearhug on Blair. The Twins stay on the back and add a double backdrop, with Blair landing on his hip. Choking on the rope and in the corner ensues as Blair can’t get anything going. A double clothesline gives Blair a breather but David is smart enough to knock Brunzell off the apron.

Blair is knocked outside as well and they come up in masks, meaning that other than their size, shape, height and energy levels, there is no way of telling them apart. They make the most obvious switch possible and Brunzell makes the comeback, including the dropkick for two. An assisted sunset flip lets Blair pin David at 13:04.

Rating: D+. And that might be the match of the night so far. I still don’t get why we’re supposed to cheer for a team like Masked Confusion who blatantly cheat but they were faces for most of their WWF run so I guess it counts. Sure they did the masked thing there too so it doesn’t make much more sense either, but never let that be a problem. This was a formula based tag match so it was a little better, though not by much.

Ladies Championship: Candi Devine vs. Rockin Robin

For the inaugural title and Sammartino is having none of DeGeorge oogling Devine. They start fast with Devine knocking her down and hitting a backdrop but Robin gets her boots up in the corner. The front facelock goes on and a sunset flip only gets two. Devine slingshots her down and grabs the Boston crab (not a very good one mind you). Back up and Robin slugs away before avoiding a knee to the ribs. Robin hits a clothesline and takes her into the corner for some right hands. A missed charge into the corner lets Robin grab a rollup for the pin and the title at 6:20.

Rating: D. This was a slightly above average women’s match for the time but you could tell that they weren’t going to get much better than they did here. That’s fair enough to them as well as women’s wrestling just did not matter at this point. To her credit though, Robin was one of the better and more under appreciated women of the time. Given that there was no story here and what they had to work with, they did as much as they could have.

We recap Colonel DeBeers vs. Paul Orndorff. DeBeers didn’t like the idea of a black man refereeing his match and attacked him a few times, including one rather big beating. Then one day the referee started wrestling so DeBeers whipped him with a belt….and Orndorff is in there somewhere, even if he’s not shown here.

Paul Orndorff vs. Colonel DeBeers

Strap match and Orndorff comes out to Can’t Touch This, which is rather disturbing in a variety of ways. The rules are a little weird here as there is one strap and the referee throws it into the air like a jump ball in a basketball game to determine who gets it. The taller DeBeers gets it and hammers away, including some shots in the corner.

DeBeers misses a charge into the corner though and Orndorff uses his feet to bounce DeBeers on the top. The strap to the throat sets up some choking from DeBeers but he comes back with a slam. He can’t find the strap so he goes up, allowing Orndorff to pull out the strap and knock him out of the air. Orndorff grabs a quick piledriver for the pin at 3:17, even though DeBeers’ shoulder was up.

Rating: D+. There was no time here but Orndorff had the same energy and intensity that he always showed. The strap rules were a bit weird but I’ll take this over the touch all four corners deal any day. It helped that this was the only match with and kind of a story so far too, so I’ll take what little I can get.

Post match Orndorff waves the American flag but DeBeers comes back up with a taser to knock Orndorff out. DeBeers even steals the flag to make sure that this continues.

Here’s Captain Lou Albano for the Captain’s Corner. He doesn’t like his guests tonight but he’ll bring them out anyway, meaning the Black Hearts with Luna Vachon. Albano rants about how he doesn’t like all the evil talk….and he walks away without any of the three talking. Did they just need to fill in some time here?

Bob Backlund vs. Ivan Koloff

Legends match and Koloff has a generic manager named Mr. Red. Koloff has the chain of course and Backlund comes out to Stars And Stripes Forever, just in case you needed to have the idea hammered into you. Neither gets anywhere with a hammerlock attempt to start as Koloff drop toeholds his way out of a hammerlock.

Koloff goes to the ropes to escape another hammerlock and then takes Backlund down for some legdrops on the arm. The short armscissors has Backlund in trouble but he does the lift, which isn’t as impressive as Sammartino was explaining what he would be able to do. A backdrop sets up Backlund’s O’Connor roll out of the corner…..for the pin at 2:27. Well that was quick, with Backlund looking almost as polished as anyone on the show so far.

Post match, Backlund talks to some kids for a nice moment. After Backlund leaves, here’s Lou Albano to knock out Mr. Red and steal his pants.

We recap Bob Orton/Cactus Jack vs. Wet N Wild, which seems to be a rematch from February and March, with both times seeing a surfboard involved.

Wet N Wild vs. Cactus Jack/Bob Orton Jr.

Jack and Orton have John Tolos with them. Wet N Wild are Sunny Beach and Steve Ray and one of the few gimmicks that makes a lot of sense at a show called BEACH Brawl. It’s a brawl to start with Wet N Wild dropping Orton and Jack so they can shove Tolos into a shark cage. The cage is raised and we settle down into a regular match. Jack throws Beach outside in a hurry and Orton knocks him down again, setting up the middle rope elbow to the concrete. Seriously…….just dang Jack.

Back in and Orton stomps away on Beach, setting up a not great looking suplex. Jack’s Russian legsweep gets two but Beach grabs a fall away slam. The hot tag brings in Ray to clean house but the ref gets bumped in the corner. Everything breaks down and Tolos throws brass knuckles to Orton. If you don’t know what is going to happen next, you have no business reading this. Beach gets the pin on Jack at 4:33.

Rating: D+. This felt like “we’re desperately out of time but here’s a finish”. The ending was one of the lamer finishes you can find but at least they did something to give the good guys the win. It doesn’t help that the match was, yet again, something that flew by and didn’t have time to do anything whatsoever.

Post match Jack is busted open and the brawl is on with Tolos not being able to break it up.

We look at how Bam Bam Bigelow and Steve Williams made the tournament finals. Bigelow beat Ivan Koloff, Colonel DeBeers and Cactus Jack while Williams beat Nikolai Volkoff, Steve Ray and then drew a bye.

UWF SportsChannel TV Title: Bam Bigelow vs. Steve Williams

For the inaugural title. The bell rings but we need to have Herb Abrams bring out the title, which will be the company’s top title as they don’t have a World Title. Williams isn’t waiting though and Abrams is shoved down, only to have Bigelow hit a clothesline and headbutts. Some shots to the face have Williams busted open early but he explodes with a heck of a clothesline.

Some knees to the face have Bigelow down again but he comes back with the headbutts (not a good idea as he is busted open as well). Bigelow’s slingshot splash gets two and he plants Williams with a DDT. The top rope splash gets two but Williams is back with a belly to belly suplex for his own near fall. Another clothesline connects and Williams is getting all fired up. Some running shoulders drop Bigelow and a powerslam gets two. Williams can’t hit the Oklahoma Stampede so he settles for another powerslam to finish Bigelow for the title at 7:33.

Rating: C-. And that’s your match of the night with a resounding “well it wasn’t THAT bad”. They did a decent power match here and Williams winning is a marginally better choice. Then again, Bigelow would be main eventing Wrestlemania in less than four years and Williams would be heading back to Japan so…..honestly it’s about a tossup for their respective futures.

Post match, Williams praises Bigelow and says he’s ready for every challenger. Abrams challenges every champion everywhere to come and face Williams.

The announcers talk about what we just saw.

Williams talks about how awesome he is but needs to leave to see another doctor. For some reason, the interviewer counts the pin on the replay in Spanish.

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Quick recap of the results (again with the Black Harts being spelled differently and it’s Backlund, not Backland) wraps things up.

Roll credits.

Overall Rating: F. I don’t know how to say this, but it’s really not the worst thing I’ve ever see. It’s really, REALLY bad, but there’s nothing on there that makes it legendarily bad. The bigger problem here is more that there’s absolutely nothing worth watching and the show is a big waste of time. If this is what they wanted to challenge the main two promotions, they’re reaching Vince Russo levels of delusion.

Overall, the show just feels like the most low budget of indy shows with a bunch of names who were past their primes but probably worked cheap. There isn’t even anything to get mad about, as the only really bad/stupid thing was the double countout in the street fight. There is no reason to watch this as it’s not Heroes of Wrestling or anything close to it, but rather a completely lifeless show that felt like it got caught in a time warp and staggered into 1991. Don’t watch this and just let it be remembered for what it was: forgetful.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6