Time for a gorgeous leggy blonde in Stacy Keibler.
Stacy Keibler got her start in 2000 as Nitro Girl Sky. She would become Miss Hancock, the sexy corporate character who wore incredibly short skirts and often took her hair down to dance. Sometimes she even got in the ring, including this match on Nitro, June 5, 2000.
Diamond Dallas Page/Miss Hancock vs. Kimberly Page/Mike Awesome
This is part of the selfish Kimberly phase where she hated Page for stealing the spotlight. For some reason Kimberly is shocked at Page being Hancock’s partner. Page even offers a little kick to Kimberly’s trunks before the girls get going. With a dance off of course. Hancock throws her glasses to Page but Kimberly shoves her down. Hancock is wrestling in heels and actually takes her down, only to have to slap Awesome.
It’s off to the guys with DDP nailing a discus lariat and getting two off a sunset flip. A low blow slows Page down and a running clothesline in the corner has him in even more trouble. That’s fine with Page who hammers away in the corner but eats an elbow to the jaw. It’s already table time but Mike leaves it on the floor so he can hit the Awesome Splash for two. Hancock gets on the table and pulls up the skirt, allowing Page to hit the Diamond Cutter for the pin.
Rating: D. Expect to hear this a lot, but Hancock was there for her looks and not much else. They let the guys do most of the work here like they should have and gave us the fan service with Hancock getting on the table. She was twenty years old here so what do you think she’s doing out there?
Hancock would be on PPV soon after this at Bash at the Beach 2000 in a wedding gown match. It might be better if you don’t know the backstory here.
Miss Hancock vs. Daffney
Naturally Stacy looks gorgeous. This wound up going to a pregnancy angle where there was supposed to be incest of some kind, I believe with Stacy being Ric’s daughter or him being the father of the baby or something like that. It never came through due to the lack of business but whatever. And yes that’s the Scream Queen of TNA. She’s also the better in ring competitor here. Stacy is 20 here. That’s hard to believe.
There’s wedding cake here too. Instead of trying to win they go for the cake. David is on his second interference so far. The referee gets pantsed and so does David. Now the girls chase each other around the ring and we try to shave Daffney’s head. Oh look it’s Crowbar to interfere even more. He takes his pants off to keep things even. We do get a funny line of “he’s choking David Flair with his pants!” And then Stacy just strips for the heck of it so that Daffney wins. Daffney hits her with cake.
Rating: N/A. Not wrestling, but the girls both looked good. This is what I get for watching WCW from 2000 though so I bring this on myself.
Next up is a hardcore match on Nitro, July 31, 2000.
Major Gunns vs. Stacy Keibler
This starts in the back with Gunns hitting her in the back with what looked like a bottle of water before they head into the bathroom. Gunns turns on the shower and Mark Madden is losing his mind. They fight over to catering with Hancock having a Twinkie shoved down her throat. There goes a carrot cake and it would be a bit better if they weren’t laughing at each other. They head to the ring where there’s a fight going on between Sgt. AWOL and David Flair. The guys go to the floor and there’s a table set up in the corner. Hancock throws her against the table and gets the pin off a slam. No rating for obvious reasons.
Here’s the PPV rematch at New Blood Rising in a Rip Off The Camouflage match.
Major Guns vs. Ms. Hancock
This is the ROTC match. Oh and there’s a mud pit. Guns’ music starts when she’s already in the ring. Stacey in a one piece camouflage dress with her hair pulled back…WOW. She was 20 at this point so brand new. They do some painfully bad stuff here and Guns kicks her in the stomach. Remember that. In a Rip off the Camouflage match, there are covers. Guns gets her top ripped off and Stacey (It’s Stacey Keibler in case that wasn’t sinking in. She’s Ms. Hancock) gets two.
This is mainly about how many upskirt shots can we get. Stacey gets her shorts ripped off and has more camo underneath it. Stacey shakes her hips and hits a horrible cross body from the middle rope. She does a nice nip up but gets kicked in the stomach again. The selling of these people is a far cry from Willy Lowman. Stacey misses another cross body and holds her stomach.
Guns gets her shorts ripped off to reveal more camouflage. Same thing happens to Stacey’s top. And they’re in the mud. Doesn’t that make it harder to see? Stacey starts holding her stomach and gets pinned. David Flair, Stacey’s fiancé, runs out and is worried about her. We get a stretcher and you can see it from here.
Rating: F. Yeah the girls were hot. The ending makes this all the stupider, and we’ll get to that in a bit. This was a freaking joke. When Debra is having better “matches” than you are, there’s a big problem
It was off to the WWF soon after this and the obvious match came first over who was hotter: Stacy Keibler and Torrie Wilson or Trish Stratus and Lita? What better way to find out than in a bra and panties match at InVasion?
Torrie Wilson/Stacy Keibler vs. Lita/Trish Stratus
Mick Foley appoints himself guest referee here again. This was smart if nothing else as it gave a person people actually care about to the match. Torrie and Stacy have weird entrance music. Lita was a legit big deal at the time and was the biggest women’s star more or less since Sable and Sunny. Seriously do you want commentary here? Trish was getting better every day at this point but still wasn’t that good yet.
Stacy gets her top ripped off. Lita has the same done. Trish vs. Torrie now and Trish loses her shirt somewhere. There goes all of Torrie’s clothes. Stacy gets her pants ripped off to end it. Mick picks up the clothes after the match which is funny.
Rating: N/A. Not a wrestling match, so there you go.
Time for some regular wrestling on Raw, August 6, 2001.
Jacqueline vs. Torrie Wilson/Stacy Keibler
This can’t go on long. The universe can’t withstand it. The two jump the one quickly but she fights back while shouting. I’m shocked at the range of her character development in this. Stacy is sent to the floor so Ivory returns, DDT Jackie to turn Alliance and Torrie gets the pin. If Ivory had actually been around for the last four months…..yeah I still wouldn’t care. Too short to rate, thank goodness.
And now some slightly better wrestling on Raw, October 1, 2001.
Tajiri/Torrie Wilson vs. Stacy Keibler/Tazz
Torrie is in a full body dress and Stacy is in leather shorts. Clearly they’re in fighting gear here. The guys start (thank goodness) and Tajiri hits the handspring elbow. He tries a kick but gets caught in the capture suplex and it’s off to Stacy vs. Torrie. Make this quick. As expected they’re terrible because THEY AREN’T WRESTLERS. Back to the guys with Tajiri firing off his strikes and hooking the Tarantula. Ivory runs out and DDTs Torrie so Stacy can pin her. Awful match and for the life of me is anyone supposed to care?
The girls would head to England at Rebellion 2001.
Mighty Molly/Stacy Keibler vs. Lita/Torrie Wilson
Trish is referee here due to reasons of hotness. It says a lot when Molly is the least attractive person in a match. Stacy in camo top and leather skirt works to put it mildly. Heyman says he and Lita wear the same style of underwear. Oh dear. Stacy and Torrie start us off. This is more or less about what you would expect. Trish can’t do much in the ring yet so Lita and Molly are going to be carrying this one.
Apparently over 50,000 tickets were sold i
n an hour for Mania 18. Molly comes in as we’re waiting for Lita to come in and clean house. Stacy does the leg choke to a pop. Lita gets knocked down and the heels double team for a bit. Make your own orgy jokes. Molly does what she can but Torrie is kind of uncarryable. There’s Lita and it’s over in less than a minute with the Twist of Fate to Molly.
Rating: D. The match sucked but the girls looked good. That’s all there is to this and that’s all there was ever going to be on this.
Let’s get some better workers in the ring on Raw, March 11, 2002.
Lita/Trish Stratus vs. Jazz/Stacy Keibler
I always loved how Lita looked in those tied off Wrestlemania baseball jerseys. Trish is just starting to get good and she has her signature look down now. Trish gets jumped and double teamed to start but let’s talk about Lucy! She has a broken leg apparently but HHH is on his way back. Jazz and Lita start things off with Jazz (the Women’s Champion) hitting a double chickenwing on Lita.
Off to Stacy for a corner leg choke but Lita realizes that she’s fighting Stacy freaking Keibler and slams her down. Off to Trish as everything breaks down. Jazz takes a double flapjack but Trish accidentally kicks Lita, giving Jazz a quick rollup win. Trish, Jazz and Lita would have a triple threat on Sunday for the title and for the life of me I have no idea why Trish didn’t win the title there but rather a month or so later.
Back to PPV at Judgment Day 2002.
Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Stacy Keibler
Each is going to have a Dudley in their corner for reasons of bad writing. Molly vs. Trish had been built up for months but they went with this instead because they picked the Dudley feud to be the better draw. Trish interrupted a swimsuit contest to set this up on Thursday. Well at least we get D-Von’s music. Aww man they hadn’t changed it yet so it’s just organ music. Dang it!
Naturally Bubba Ray Dudley is here. This was right before they were going to build him up as one of the top faces on Raw. Yes, that’s a true story. I’ll wait a bit while you regain consciousness. Stacy throws a kick that hits (read as her foot might have been two feet from Trish’s head, prompting a groan from the crowd) for two. Trish was just ok in the ring at this point and the awful Boston Crab shows that.
Stacy counters and Trish counters that into a rollup for two. This is quickly getting embarrassing, which says a lot as we’re maybe a minute into it. Trish hammers away and Stacy is sent to the floor where she has a fit. Batista comes in and drills Trish (lucky) with a slam that gets two for Stacy. Stacy chokes away and Trish fights back, getting a bulldog (minus springboard) to end this quickly. Terrible match but Stacy looked great.
Back to Raw with a slightly better idea on Raw, February 24, 2003.
Stacy Keibler/Test vs. Chris Jericho/Christian
Basic idea here: they’re in Toronto so Stacy comes out in a tied off Maple Leafs jersey and little white shorts. She’s also terrified of Test to continue a stupid angle, though he’s fighting to go after Jericho for accidentally hitting Stacy with a chair. Test slams Christian down but Jericho pulls Stacy off the apron to distract the big man. Christian is lifted in the air for a press slam but Jericho comes in with a chair for the DQ.
Next up, the biggest stage of them all at Wrestlemania XX.
Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler
This is an evening gown match and the annual Playboy promotional match. Sable and Torrie posed together and had a teased lesbian angle around this time. Sable wants to just wrestle without clothes but Jackie (Gayda, as in the attractive one) says no. Everyone else winds up in lingerie and Jackie is soon stripped too. This is exactly what you would expect: unfunny announcers, sexual spots, very little wrestling and very little complaining from most fans. Stacy kicks Torrie’s head off for two and it’s back to Jackie. We get the rolling over the referee spot and Torrie rolls up Jackie for the pin. This was what it was.
Another Raw match from October 4, 2004.
Stacy Keibler vs. Molly Holly
Non-title, likely because neither of them are champions. Trish, looking GREAT in a low cut top and jeans with some stomach showing, sits in on commentary. She shows us a clip from last week where Christy Hemme stripped off her clothes. Trish’s assessment, and again I quote, “Sl** sl** sl** sl**. Christy Hemme is a sl**.” I love the Bellas trying to sound all serious when you have the girls from this era ripping into each other with lines like that.
Even JR says Stacy has no chance here, albeit in JR-speak of course. Molly points a finger in Stacy’s face so she bites down on it. Again, these jokes are too easy at times. Keibler chokes in the corner and throws Molly down by her VERY short hair (she was shaved bald at Wrestlemania).
As this is going on, we get WWE Fantasy standings on the bottom of the screen. That’s a fascinating idea actually, but it would wind up being a huge mess. The camera stays on Trish, talking about how Christy “exudes sl**tiness.” Molly gets low bridged to the floor and Trish runs down to distract Stacy for no apparent reason, but Stacy is actually smart enough (I’m stunned too) to counter into a cradle for the pin.
We’ll wrap it up with a six person tag from Raw on August 8, 2005.
Stacy Keibler/Hurricane/Rosey vs. Victoria/Heartthrobs
The superheroes are Raw Tag Team Champions. If you don’t remember the Heartthrobs, I’m not surprised. Stacy is a superheroine here because she looks good in the outfit. Antonio Thomas starts with Hurricane but Romeo Roselli gets in a cheap clothesline from the apron to take over. Hurricane fights out of a chinlock and tags in Rosey to clean house. Everything breaks down and Stacy gets on the apron to shake her hips a bit for a distraction, earning a hard shot from Victoria. The Heartthrobs hit a double STO on Rosey for the fast pin.
Me? Use this as an excuse to look at Stacy Keibler for awhile? Perish the thought. I’m sure you can figure out the idea here: she’s there because she’s a 6’0 stunning blonde who can dance. I didn’t see a good match in the whole stretch but I have no idea why you would be looking for one in something about Stacy Keibler. She’s there for the view and there’s nothing wrong with that.
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