Summerslam 2018
Date: August 19, 2018
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips, Jonathan Coachman

It’s the second biggest show of the year (I think) and that means we’re in for a stacked card. The big matches include Roman Reigns challenging Brock Lesnar for the Universal Title, AJ Styles defending the WWE Championship against Samoa Joe and, in the match that I think should close the show, Daniel Bryan vs. the Miz. Tonight has some promise so let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Zelina Vega/Andrade Cien Almas vs. Rusev/Lana

Thankfully they waited a little longer before starting the first match this year, allowing some more fans to get into the arena. Last year was embarrassing looking but it’s a little better this time. The men start and it’s an early double tranquillo pose, earning Almas and Vega some Bulgarian roaring. We settle down to a RUSEV DAY chant and Rusev hitting a suplex. A missed charge sends Rusev shoulder first into the post and it’s an armbar to send us to a break.

Back with Almas getting two off a reverse tornado DDT. A second attempt is countered with a shove off the top and the hot tag brings in Lana. Vega has to come in as well and Lana kicks her down, setting up a Spinarooni of all things. A kick to the face cuts Vega off again but Lana stops to slap Almas, allowing Vega to roll her up for the pin at 6:55. They botched that one pretty badly as Vega was supposed to put her feet on the ropes but she’s so short that they couldn’t reach. Lana was barely struggling either and it didn’t look good.

Rating: D. I was really disappointed here as this could have been something very fun. What we got was a short match between the guys and then a bare bones match from the women. I don’t know if the stage got to Lana or what but this was the bad match that a lot of people have expected her to have. The finish was even worse though and made the match feel like a joke.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Cedric Alexander vs. Drew Gulak

Gulak is challenging and everyone else is banned from ringside. Alexander has held the title since Wrestlemania and Gulak has been on a roll, making everyone tap out. Gulak takes him to the mat and then into the corner to start but it’s way too early for the Gulock (dragon sleeper). Instead Alexander rolls out and dropkicks Gulak down so it’s time to go to the floor. Back in and Alexander’s springboard is blocked with a big boot, followed by a neckbreaker onto the knee.

We take a break and come back with Gulak staying on the neck with a clothesline for two. Gulak cranks on the neck but Alexander is right back up with a bottom rope springboard Downward Spiral. Some right hands keep Gulak in trouble and Cedric followed him to the floor with a big flip dive.

Back in and Alexander catches him on the ropes, setting up a short form Gulock to really mess with the neck. A spinning elbow to the jaw gets Cedric out of trouble for the time being but Gulak smacks him in the face. Gulak reverses the Neuralizer into an ankle lock but gets reversed into a cradle. Back up and Cedric hits the C4 but Gulak turns it over into a rollup for two more. Another rollup gives Gulak two but that’s reversed into a stacked up rollup for the pin on Gulak at 10:42.

Rating: C+. They had a hot finish here with the rollups and I was actually surprised by the finish. That being said, I’m not wild on having Alexander keep the title and would have bet on Gulak picking up the belt here. There’s not much of a reason to keep the title on Alexander as he’s far from the most interesting guy in the world. At least the match was pretty good though.

Kickoff Show: Raw Tag Team Titles: Revival vs. B Team

The B Team is defending and get taken down in the very early on with a dragon screw leg whip to Dallas. A Shatter Machine puts the illegal Axel down as well and it’s Dawson starting on in Dallas’ knee. Back from a break with Wilder staying on the knee and handing it back to Dawson, who gets kicked shoulder first into the post. Axel is still down from the Shatter Machine though and there’s no hot tag to be had.

Dallas’ knee is fine enough for the hanging swinging neckbreaker and now the hot tag brings Axel in. Axel cleans house and loads up the PerfectPlex but gets small packaged. The referee is with Dallas and Wilder though until Wilder snaps Dallas across the top. Dallas falls onto Axel and Wilder to turn the small package over for the pin on Dawson at 6:14.

Rating: D+. How can you not at least chuckle at these two schmucks? They’ve embraced the clueless putz characters and that’s all you can ask for. As ridiculous as they are, it’s not like the Raw tag division has anything else going on. Revival is a great team, but that doesn’t matter if they can’t get more than five minutes and a bunch of nothing opponents. This was the right call, which is better than I was expecting.

By the way, the total wrestling time on this year’s Kickoff Show: about 24 minutes, or just over half of last year’s. That’s a BIG improvement as there’s no need to have so much wrestling on a bonus feature before we get to the four hour pay per view.

The opening video features actor Terry Crews outside the arena, rhyming about what it means to be the best on the big stage. This was released earlier in the week.

There’s a big digital Empire State Building over the ring. That isn’t likely visible in the arena.

Intercontinental Title: Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler is defending and has Drew McIntyre in his corner while Rollins has the freshly returned Dean Ambrose in his. The fans are very hot for Rollins here, especially BURN IT DOWN. Feeling out process to start with Seth being driven into the ropes but Dean is right there to cut Drew off. Back up and they run the ropes with Rollins nailing a hiptoss, sending Ziggler outside for a breather.

Seth follows him and it’s time for another big staredown. Rollins gets sent to the apron but stops to stare at Drew, allowing Ziggler to grab two off a neckbreaker. With Rollins seeming to favor his knee, Ziggler talks trash to Ambrose and then sends Rollins into the corner for a Flair Flip to the floor. Back in and the chinlock keeps Rollins in trouble for a good while. The comeback is cut off as Rollins grabs a vertical suplex over the top, only to fall out with Ziggler for a big crash.

Rollins hits a Sling Blade for two back inside and the middle rope Blockbuster gets two more. Ziggler rolls away from the threat of the frog splash so Rollins hits him with the suicide dive. The springboard clothesline sets up the ripcord knee for two and they’re both down for a minute. Ziggler’s sleeper is thrown off so they head to the apron with Ziggler saying this is it. Rollins gets shoved into the post and a jumping DDT drives him head first into the apron. That’s only good for a nine count as Rollins comes back in for the low superkick.

The frog splash hits knees though and Ziggler rolls him up for two more. Ziggler heads up top but Rollins is right there for a reverse superplex into a reverse inverted DDT (now that’s how you mix it up) and a near fall of his own. McIntyre sends Dean into the steps though, allowing Ziggler to hit the Zig Zag for the nearest fall yet. Dean is back up with Dirty Deeds to McIntyre and the bloody Rollins to avoid the superkick. The Stomp gives Rollins the title back at 22:01.

Rating: B. I know it won’t be, but I really could go for this feud ending already. It started a little over two months ago and feels like it’s been going on for a year now. At least Rollins has the title back and that’s all well and good, especially with the prospects of Ziggler and McIntyre being able to split up for good now. If nothing else, it’s nice to start the show with a good, long match for a change after last year took forever to get going.

The Bellas are here and are asked about their chances of appearing at Evolution. It turns into a list of plugs for their various projects before Nikki says they want to see Ronda Rousey win the Raw Women’s Title tonight. They’ll be ringside for the match tonight. And so it begins.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Bludgeon Brothers vs. New Day

New Day, Big E. and Xavier Woods here, are challenging after having won a tournament. Rowan runs Woods over to start and gets two each off a big boot and splash. It’s off to the fists around the head crush, followed by a pumphandle backbreaker to keep Woods down. Woods finally kicks Harper to the floor and makes the hot tag to Big E., who drops to the floor to throw some suplexes.

Back in and the Warrior Splash gets two on Harper, who comes right back with the Michinoku Driver. The double spinebuster doesn’t work though and Woods dives over the top onto Rowan. Everything breaks down and Big E. is sent into the steps, though the Brothers look a little banged up. They’re fine enough to hit the double spinebuster for two on Big E. with Woods making the save and getting the tag. Kofi gets taken down so Rowan eats the Big Ending on the floor.

A blind tag brings in Big E. but Harper stuns him with a superkick on the apron. Big E. tries the release Rock Bottom off the apron into the Codebreaker from Woods but the timing is off and it’s more like Harper just landing on Woods. Harper is fine enough to roll away from Woods’ top rope elbow so Woods hits it on the floor instead. The pain is immense but Woods throws him back in for the tag to Big E. UpUpDownDown is imminent but Rowan uses the mallet for the DQ at 9:36.

Rating: C+. They were getting somewhere before the ending to set up a rematch either on Smackdown or in the Cell. It’s a good idea to make the Brothers seem vulnerable against a top team like New Day, who couldn’t quite finish them off. At the moment the Smackdown tag team division is all of four teams so it’s a good idea to not change the titles just yet, along with keeping this match going for another month. Nice match, with an understandable ending.

Jon Stewart is here.

We recap Braun Strowman vs. Kevin Owens, which started back in June. Strowman threw him off a ladder at Money in the Bank and then won the briefcase, so Owens tried to be nice to him. Then Strowman destroyed his car, threw him in a portable toilet and off of a cage, meaning it’s time for a rematch with the briefcase on the line.

Money in the Bank Briefcase: Kevin Owens vs. Braun Strowman

Strowman is defending and can lose the briefcase by any means. The bell rings and Owens is knocked into the corner a few seconds later, followed by the run around the floor to shoulder him down. Strowman has so much fun that he does it again and a superkick just annoys him. A chokeslam onto the ramp knocks Owens silly and the running powerslam ends him at 1:56. Total and complete squash.

There was a Be A Star rally earlier in the week.

We recap the Smackdown Women’s Title match. Becky Lynch beat Carmella to earn a spot but then Charlotte returned and did the same thing, earning her own shot. Charlotte and Becky then got in a bit of a passive aggressive fight over Becky being jealous of Charlotte being added. Fair enough, but WWE loves itself some triple threats.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Carmella vs. Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

Carmella is defending and gets double teamed to start. In a smart move, she slaps Becky in the back of the head and blames Charlotte. The wedge doesn’t last long as Becky hiptosses Carmella to the floor and tries an early Disarm-Her on Charlotte. That goes nowhere as Charlotte escapes but gets pulled to the floor. Carmella sends Becky into the steps and reminds us that she is in fact the champion.

Back in and we hit the chinlock on Charlotte for a good while as Graves sings the champ’s praises. Becky has to be knocked off the apron, allowing Charlotte to start her comeback with the chops. Some suplexes make it even worse but Becky is back in with a double missile dropkick. Charlotte gets knocked outside and there’s the Bexploder to the champ. She crotches Becky on top though and gets two off a loose super hurricanrana. Charlotte comes back in with a spear to take them both down for two each and grabs a Walls of Jericho of all things on Carmella.

The Figure Four goes on instead but Becky makes the save with a guillotine legdrop. Carmella is back up and sends Becky outside for a suicide dive, only to have Charlotte miss the corkscrew moonsault (she slapped Carmella and completely missed Becky) to put them bot down. Back in and Carmella has to break up the Disarm-Her, followed by a superkick for two on Becky. Charlotte gets knocked to the floor and the Disarm-Her goes on, only to have Carmella grab the rope. The hold is slapped on again but Charlotte runs in with Natural Selection to Becky for the pin and the title at 14:35.

Rating: C+. Much better than I was expecting here and they better turn Becky heel after that ending. Thankfully they took the title off of Carmella, but at this point either she or Charlotte has been champion since November. They need some fresh blood in there, which hopefully is a ticked off Lynch.

Post match Carmella leaves so Becky and Charlotte can hug, only for Becky to turn on Charlotte and beat the fire out of her to a HUGE YES chant. Becky throws her over the table, leaving Charlotte to take a YOU DESERVE IT chant. That was the only way to go as A, Becky has a legitimate complaint about Charlotte being put into the match and stealing her title and B, there isn’t anyone else for Charlotte to fight.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match. AJ Styles has been champion since November, becoming the longest reigning World Champion in Smackdown history. Joe signed the contract to face him, partially because there was no one left aside from maybe Miz. After the match was set, Joe started talking about how AJ was sacrificing his family to be champion. AJ tried to keep things calm, but Joe read a letter supposedly from AJ’s wife Wendy, saying Joe was completely right. In other words, AJ isn’t happy.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe

Joe is challenging and even introduces AJ’s wife and daughter at ringside. It’s a feeling out process to start as AJ is a little more calm than (erg, especially after Joe’s comments) he should be here, even as the fans chant TNA. AJ grabs a headlock to slow Joe down but a heavy shoulder cuts him off. Some leg kicks have AJ in even more trouble but he’s right back with some forearms. The sliding forearm sends Joe outside and AJ tries to follow him, only to get kicked in the knee to take him off the apron.

A hard suicide dive sends AJ into the announcers’ table and one heck of a clothesline takes his head off back inside. We hit the chinlock, which makes you wonder why Joe doesn’t turn around just a hair and make it the Koquina Clutch instead. AJ gets up and knocks Joe’s block off with a right hand to the floor, followed by the slingshot forearm. Joe charges into an enziguri and the Phenomenal Blitz sets up another running forearm. The moonsault into a reverse DDT gets two on Joe and AJ puts him on top.

That doesn’t go well for the champ, who gets shoved down for a middle rope knee to a standing AJ for two more. The running big boot into the backsplash gets the same but AJ is right back with the fireman’s carry backbreaker. AJ is limping a bit and misses the Phenomenal Forearm, allowing Joe to snap him over with the powerslam for two more. A one armed Styles Clash gives AJ the same and they’re both down. Back up and they slug the heck out of it until a Pele sends Joe into the corner.

AJ makes the mistake of charging into the release Rock Bottom but is still able to put on the Calf Crusher. Joe’s solution: slam AJ’s head into the mat over and over. Joe slips over into the Koquina Clutch but AJ gets his foot on the ropes. It’s Muscle Buster time but AJ forearms him in the head. That’s fine with Joe, who hits one of the loudest enziguris I’ve ever heard to knock AJ outside. Joe sends him into the steps and grabs the mic. He tells Wendy that AJ isn’t coming home but he’ll be her new daddy. A suddenly bloody AJ tackles Joe off the table and through the barricade, followed by a chair to the back for the DQ at 22:46.

Rating: A-. You have to imagine that the Cell awaits these two and for once, the story would seem to fit that. AJ being able to do whatever he wants to Joe fits, but it would also seem to play much more into Joe’s hands. Anyway, of course these two had a great match because that’s all they know how to do. They were beating the fire out of each other and I want to see it again, which is the sign of a well done match. Really good stuff here, as expected.

Post match the beating continues until Wendy says that’s enough. AJ goes over to his family and his incredibly cute daughter says “daddy you’re bleeding”. AJ apologizes and hugs her before walking away with his family. Joe is TICKED as he leaves.

Here’s Elias to plug his album and talk about how awesome his songs are. He even has a new song, which he’s debuting right here in New York City. And then his guitar breaks. That’s too much for Elias, who throws the pieces around and storms off without saying anything.

Miz runs into the B Team and says if Bryan had followed his example, he might have lived off of Miz’s success like they had. For old times sake, they can fetch his limo for the celebration after. Actually they have their own celebrating to do because they’re the B Team and the B stands for Daniel Bryan. Dallas likes Miz and Mrs. (which he pronounces Mers) but they have their own show: Total Fellas. Dallas: “But with a B! Total Bellas!” Miz is stupefied as they leave.

We recap the Miz vs. Daniel Bryan. This one is over eight years in the making as Bryan came into WWE as Miz’s NXT rookie, despite being a top independent star. Bryan eventually defeated Miz a few times but they went on their own paths. Miz won a WWE Title while Bryan became the top star in the company, only to have injuries take him away for a few years. Now he’s back and healthy though, meaning it’s time for these two to FINALLY have the big match on the grand stage.

They’ve done a great job of setting up the culture clash here as Bryan is all about the love of wrestling and Miz is about becoming a star. Those worlds don’t jive and it’s made their feud that much better. The crowd reaction should be interesting, though Bryan is going to be the biggest face that ever faced around here.

The Miz vs. Daniel Bryan

Maryse is in the front row with a baby carriage. Miz hides in the corner for a bit before scoring with some YES Kicks. The running dropkick connects but Bryan grabs him by the throat and hammers away. The real YES Kicks rock Miz and a big one to the chest puts him down. Miz gets in a knee to the ribs and the surfboard goes on. Of course Bryan knows how to get out of that and starts kicking at Miz’s legs.

The REAL surfboard goes on and Bryan even bends back to get two off a bridge. Back up and Miz catches him with a hard clothesline, followed by a cravate with bonus trash talk. Miz starts firing off some knees to the head but Bryan is right back with right hands of his own. The moonsault over Miz sets up the running clothesline and the running corner dropkicks connect. A backdrop sends Miz to the floor and Bryan follows with two boots through the ropes and a top rope clothesline.

Back in and Miz gets caught in the Tree of Woe, which of course means more YES Kicks. One heck of a top rope belly to back suplex puts Miz down for two more but he’s right back with the short DDT. With Miz’s chest blood red, he fires off some NO Kicks of his own, which bring Bryan back to his feet. Bryan dragon screw whips Miz’s leg and hits the big kick to the head but can’t get the YES Lock. Instead a catapult into the post sets up the Skull Crushing Finale for two but Miz charges into another kick for another two.

They head to the apron with Bryan firing off kicks until the last one hits the post. That means a Figure Four back inside and Bryan is in big trouble. As usual, the solution is to punch Miz in the face and then turn the hold over. Miz lets it go and tries the Finale but Bryan kicks him in the back (the leg shouldn’t be able to do that) and goes with the heavy elbows to the head.

The YES Lock goes on and Bryan punches Miz in the back of the head as the aggression continues to come out. Miz makes the rope though and bails to the floor, only to get kneed in the head. That knocks Miz right in front of Maryse, who hands him something. Whatever it is knocks Bryan silly when he tries a suicide dive, giving Miz the pin at 23:30.

Rating: B+. I liked this one as much as I expected to and the ending does set up a rematch. You have to imagine that Bryan is sticking around given that finish as there’s a wide open door for the feud to continue. It was a nice, long match and got the attention that it deserved, but it didn’t feel like the final match throughout. The ending takes care of that though and everything is fine.

Replays confirm the object, with Graves going into full Bobby Heenan mode to talk his way around the cheating.

Video on Undertaker vs. HHH for Super Show-Down in their final match. To be fair they haven’t been ridiculous with the plugging tonight.

Baron Corbin vs. Finn Balor

THE DEMON IS BACK! FOR THIS MATCH??? This is the rubber match after Corbin started being mean to Balor for being small. It’s been a horrible story but the Demon makes up for some of it. Cole gets his Demon history wrong, saying it last appeared two years ago. It was last year Cole. You called the match.

The fans are VERY pleased and Corbin is told he has to face him. The bell rings and it’s the shotgun dropkick into the Sling Blade to put Baron on the floor in the smoke. Balor adds a flip dive and it’s another Sling Blade on the floor. Back in and Balor hits a top rope double stomp to the back, followed by the Coup de Grace for the pin at 1:29. NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT!

Bryan is ticked off when Brie finally remembers that they’re married and comes in to see him in his moment of need. He calls his comeback a bust but she gives him a pep talk which seems to work well enough.

US Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jeff Hardy

Nakamura is defending after taking the title from Hardy last month. Feeling out process to start and of course Nakamura is over like free beer in a frat house in New York. Nakamura dodges a few early shots and tells him to COME ON. Jeff does exactly the same and sends Nakamura into four buckles in a row. That earns him a quick takedown and Nakamura slaps on a chinlock.

Nakamura hammers on him a bit more until Hardy, to the tune of a BROTHER NERO chant, comes back up with a Sling Blade. An atomic drop sets up the legdrop between the legs and a basement dropkick gets two. Jeff slips out of the reverse exploder but the slingshot dropkick is countered into Nakamura sitting him on the top. The running knee misses though and Jeff gets two off a Whisper in the Wind.

Nakamura is fine enough to catch him with another kick to the head, followed by the sliding knee for two. Kinshasa is countered into a failed Twist of Fate attempt but Hardy is ready for the low blow. Now the Twist of Fate sets up the Swanton Bomb for a delayed two as Nakamura grabs the bottom rope. A second Twist of Fate sends Nakamura bailing to the apron, so Jeff climbs the post and Swantons the apron because he’s that freaking crazy. Back in and the Kinshasa finishes whatever is left of Hardy at 10:55.

Rating: C. I have no idea how Hardy is still walking and I don’t think he does either most of the time. The match was fine enough and Hardy gave it a run but Nakamura needed this way more than Hardy did. If nothing else Hardy already has Randy Orton sitting around for their big pay per view match so the loss was the only option here. Not a bad match, but nothing great, especially on a long shot.

Post match Orton comes out, smacks himself in the head, and leaves without even getting in the ring. Ok then.

We recap Ronda Rousey vs. Alexa Bliss. Rousey was about to win the Raw Women’s Title last month but Bliss interfered for a DQ and cashed in her briefcase to win the title. Bliss then made Rousey snap and got her suspended for a month. Rousey’s reward: a match for the title tonight.

Raw Women’s Title: Ronda Rousey vs. Alexa Bliss

Rousey is challenging and before the match, here’s Natalya in the same jacket her dad wore at Summerslam 1990. Bliss comes out and sneers at the Bella Twins, who are sitting in the front row. Rousey now has eye paint and her name on her shorts as she does the power walk to the ring. Bliss hides in the corner to start (smart) and a single right hand puts her on the floor. More stalling ensues so Rousey even turns her back and sits down so Bliss can come in with no problem.

Rousey closes her eyes and Bliss grabs a chinlock, meaning it’s time for the scary Ronda face. The hold is broken (Bliss: “No no no no no!” Rousey: “YES!”) and there’s the swinging Samoan drop. A chase lets Bliss get in a forearm and Rousey is just made angrier. Bliss gets flipped on her face and Rousey unloads in the corner, followed by some judo throws. Another swinging Samoan drop (Rousey: “ARE YOU READY???”) connects and it’s armbar time. The arm is twisted in a variety of angles (including Bliss popping it in and out of joint) and one hard crank makes Bliss tap at 4:39.

Rating: C+. What do you want me to say? That was exactly what it should have been as Rousey should be able to destroy Bliss in short order. I’m not sure who is supposed to take the title off of Rousey, but if she can hold it until Wrestlemania (which she likely will), there’s a heck of a dream match to be had with Charlotte. Total squash here and, again, Rousey looked like she’s been doing this for years.

Post match Natalya comes in for the celebration and the Bellas join them because reasons. Rousey goes into the crowd and kisses her husband for the nice moment.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns (again). As is usually the case, Reigns is whining about how Lesnar is lazy and doesn’t like the fans so he should get another title shot. Also as usual, the fans don’t seem to buy it and Reigns isn’t likely to be cheered here. There are a few options for the finish and that makes the ending a little more interesting than usual.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

Brock is defending and gets no reaction (That HAD to be muted. No New York crowd has ever been that quiet). Hang on though as here’s Strowman with the briefcase. He’s not cashing in behind anyone’s back because he’ll be waiting on the winner. The bell rings and Reigns hits two Superman Punches and a pair of spears but the third is countered into a guillotine choke. That’s broken up with a spinebuster but Lesnar puts it right back on.

Another spinebuster breaks the hold again and they’re both down. Lesnar takes his gloves off and it’s Suplex City time. Three straight German suplexes draw a YOU BOTH SUCK chant and Reigns can barely stand. Reigns is back up with a missed charge that hits Strowman so Lesnar goes outside and gives Braun an F5 on the floor. With Reigns back in, Lesnar beats on Strowman with the briefcase, which he then throws from ringside all the way to the entrance, breaking part of the LED board. Strowman gets chaired down but Lesnar walks into a spear to make Reigns champion at 6:16.

Rating: C+. I know they repeat moves and I know the ending isn’t the most popular move in the world, but these two know how to make the matches feel big. I was wanting to see what happened and that’s more than you can say about a lot of matches. Reigns finally getting rid of Lesnar is a good thing, but I really wish they would just get rid of the briefcase already so it doesn’t have to be around.

Reigns poses to end the show with no cash-in.

Overall Rating: A-. That was a heck of a show and above all else it was about the pacing. They did a GREAT job of making this show stay at a steady pace with some hot matches and then a quick match to let the fans get back into it. That took place throughout the night and did wonders for the show, which never felt like it dragged. Compare this to Wrestlemania, which felt like it dragged every few minutes.

On top of that, the wrestling was solid all night long with good to very good wrestling, logical booking decisions and stuff being set up for the future. This was a very entertaining night and notice the crowd not taking the show over at all. That’s a nice change of pace and made the evening that much more enjoyable. Really good stuff here and the best WWE pay per view in a long time.

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Summerslam 2017
Date: August 20, 2017
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

It’s finally time for one of the biggest shows of the year as WWE takes over New York City all over again. This time around the big main event is a four way for the Universal Title with Brock Lesnar defending against Roman Reigns, Braun Strowman and Samoa Joe. The rest of the card is too deep to break down in short order so let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Hardy Boyz/Jason Jordan vs. Miz/Miztourage

The idea here is that Miz wants to be defending his Intercontinental Title against Jason Jordan but is stuck in this for reasons that aren’t clear. The section opposite the hard camera is MAYBE ten percent full because we’re about an hour and a half away from the start of the pay per view.

Jeff takes Axel into the corner to start and hands it off to Jordan to work on the arm. Dallas comes in and gets the same treatment, sending the Miztourage outside for a breather as we take a break (with empty sections of seats being shown on camera). Back with Jeff in trouble with Miz hammering away and working on the arm.

Matt comes in and throws some right hands but the Twist of Fate (with Matt shouting TWIST OF FATE) is broken up. Miz gets in some YES Kicks but gets sent into the corner, setting up the hot tag to Jordan. The suplexes send the Miztourage flying as everything breaks down. Jordan hits the running shoulder in the corner to Axel but Miz makes a blind tag, setting up the Skull Crushing Finale to put Jordan away at 10:31.

Rating: C-. Ridiculous looking non-crowd aside, not much of a match here. In theory you would have Miz lose the fall to Jordan here to set up the title match but it wouldn’t shock me if they had Miz beat him and then set it up anyway. This match didn’t need to happen and only served as a way to have some of these names on the card.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Neville vs. Akira Tozawa

Tozawa is defending after winning the title on Monday. The crowd is looking far better already with the section opposite the hard camera now mostly full. Neville, in white trunks for a change, gets knocked outside so Tozawa can do his shouting. Tozawa follows him out but gets sent into the LED apron as we take a break.

Back with Neville throwing on a chinlock until Tozawa throws him outside for a suicide dive. A hard belly to back suplex drops Neville and an Octopus Hold has him in even more trouble. Neville makes the ropes and cuts off a charge with an enziguri, only to get kicked down as well to put them back to even. Back up and Tozawa rocks Neville with a right hand but it’s still too early for the backsplash. The superplex is broken up but the backsplash hits raised knees. The Red Arrow gives Neville the title back at 11:47.

Rating: C. And that would makes them 2-2 in 50/50 booking on the Kickoff Show so far. Neville lost the title on Monday and gets it back on Monday for whatever reason, despite having no one left to defend the thing against. I’m sure this is going to thrill the fans so far, now that they’re at least in the arena.

Here’s Elias to sing two songs, one of which insults Brooklyn in general and the other of which insults local singers. No match or anything but this is a thing that happened.

Kickoff Show: Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. New Day

New Day is defending with Big E. and Woods in the ring. Before the match, Kofi (in Red Lantern inspired gear) talks about New Day’s history in Brooklyn, which is the first place they sang to the crowd and the birthplace of Francesca. Woods forearms Jimmy down to start and snaps off some rights and lefts in the corner. A raised boot cuts him off though and we take a break.

Back with Woods fighting out of a chinlock before coming up with a dropkick to Jey. Jimmy pulls Big E. off the apron though and it’s a Death Valley Driver into the corner for two. A modified Demolition Decapitator gets the same and we hit the chinlock. Back up with Woods getting in a faceplant for the tag off to Big E. as house is cleaned in a hurry. The Warrior Splash hits Jimmy and Big E. powerbombs Woods onto him for good measure.

In a real twist, Woods puts Big E. on his shoulders for a splash. JBL: “That’s what you’ve come to expect from the New Day!” A move they’ve never done before? Jey comes in off a hot tag and a double spinebuster gets two on Big E. It’s back to Woods who sends Jimmy into Big E. for a Rock Bottom/Backstabber combination and a near fall. Everything breaks down with the twins being sent outside for a dive from Woods, only to have Big E.’s stopped by a superkick.

The Superfly Splash gets two on Xavier but he’s back up with a Koji Clutch on Jey. A Shining Wizard gets two more and the Midnight Hour plants Jey with Jimmy diving in at the last second for the save. Woods charges at Jey, who launches him over the top into a Samoan drop on the floor. Big E. spears Jey through the ropes, only to have the Big Ending broken up by a blind tag. Five superkicks and a double Superfly Splash gives us new champions at 19:09.

Rating: B+. Heck of a match here as the three people/teams who won during the week go to 0-3 on the Kickoff Show. I have no idea what the point is in putting the titles back on the Usos as they cleaned out the “division” in recent months, pretty much leaving New Day alone as a good face team. Breezango barely wrestles anymore and we’ve done the two of them vs. the Usos, but that’s never stopped WWE before.

We get a KFC ad featuring various people auditioning to be the next Colonel Sanders. This cuts to the arena where Shawn Michaels comes out in a sleeveless Sanders outfit, dances around, slides over the announcers’ table, and nothing else. This is one of the most random things I’ve ever seen.

The opening video looks at every match under the slogan Go Big.

No pyro again, but let me introduce you to the ridiculous amount of commentary teams and all their equipment to broadcast live in various languages.

John Cena vs. Baron Corbin

Cena cost Corbin his Money in the Bank cash-in on Monday. For a change of pace, Cena slides to the floor and grabs JBL’s hat while saying Corbin is shaken up. Back in and Cena’s headlock is broken up with some knees to the ribs. Corbin’s slide underneath the ropes into a clothesline gets two and it’s time to yell at the referee.

A World’s Strongest Slam gets two and triggers a WHERE’S YOUR BRIEFCASE chant. That earns Cena a chokebreaker as this is mostly one sided so far. Cena fights out of a superplex with a tornado DDT but the AA is broken up. Deep Six gives Corbin two but Cena comes right back with the Attitude Adjustment for the fast pin at 10:18.

Rating: D. I don’t remember the last time I said this about a Cena match but this sucked. This was Cena getting beaten up for eight minutes and then coming back with a single AA for the pin (which NEVER happens). I don’t know if Corbin ran over Vince’s dog or something but he’s been crushed in the last week for no apparent reason. This was really odd and a big letdown, at least partially due to time.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Natalya vs. Naomi

Natalya is challenging after winning an elimination match last month. Naomi starts fast and knocks her outside, meaning it’s time to shout a lot. Back in and the champ’s leg gets snapped over the top rope and then over the turnbuckle for good measure. A suplex gives Natalya two, followed by a small package to give Naomi the same.

Back up and Natalya blasts her with a clothesline, followed by a Michinoku Driver for two more. The discus clothesline drops Naomi again but she comes back with a Russian legsweep. Naomi declares it GLOW TIME and does her dancing kicks (the ones that make almost no contact) but Natalya pulls her down to the mat instead. Back up and the reverse Rings of Saturn is reversed into the Sharpshooter for the surprise tap out at 10:49.

Rating: C-. Natalya looked far better out there but sweet goodness this division is getting less and less interesting all the time. The longer we wait for Charlotte and Becky Lynch to be in the title picture, the worse this division seems, mainly because it feels like a big waste of time. This match should have been on the Kickoff Show or not on the show whatsoever, but that might mean someone doesn’t make the card and that would just be unforgivable.

There’s no Carmella appearance.

We recap Big Cass vs. Big Show. Cass turned on Enzo Amore for running his mouth too much (gee I’m stunned) so Enzo brought in Show to help deal with him. Tonight Enzo is locked in a shark cage and Show’s hand is broken due to an attack by Cass.

Big Cass vs. Big Show

Enzo runs his mouth before the match and sucks up to Brooklyn, furthering his status as my least favorite person in the company. I don’t think I need to explain to you why Enzo is really annoying but he’s been even more so lately. Show slugs away with his left hand as Enzo runs his mouth about how we’re going to work tonight while dancing in the cage, causing it to rattle loudly. Show hurts his hand on a missed Vader Bomb as Enzo is now jumping up and down.

Cass hammers on the hand and grabs an armbar for some psychology. The fans think this is boring as Show fights up with a left handed chokeslam for two. Cass knocks him down again and Enzo is taking his pants off. He pulls out some hidden oil and covers himself with it, allowing him to slip through the bars. Enzo gets down so Cass kicks him in the head but the big boot only gets two on Show. A second big boot sets up the Empire Elbow for the pin on Show at 10:28.

Rating: D. I don’t remember the last time I couldn’t stand someone as much as I can’t stand Enzo. Stephanie maybe? Cass winning helps a lot here and hopefully he can now move on to ANYTHING else. He looked good in his win and now he can move on to a fresh feud. Show is actually really acceptable in this role as he’s just putting people over on the big stage and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Daniel Bryan comes in to see Kurt Angle to say he thinks Smackdown will steam the show. Bryan: “It’s true, it’s true.” Angle thinks Raw will be better and starts a YES chant. This turns into one heck of a YES/NO battle until both guys get winded.

Randy Orton vs. Rusev

Not much of a story here as Rusev wanted competition and Orton answered him. Rusev jumps Orton during the entrance and beats the heck out of him before the bell. Orton says he can go and it’s an RKO for the pin at 9 seconds.

That right there is the perfect example of why I can’t stand these huge cards. This is obviously, and I do mean obviously, a case of cutting something for time. Why is it being cut for time? It’s so we could have a Cruiserweight Title rematch and a six man rematch on the Kickoff Show. Neither match was good and both matches pretty much advanced nothing (the Cruiserweight Title match actually took us back in time) but they ate up time that could have gone to this match, which could have been interesting. Instead Rusev looks like an idiot and the match barely exists. Just don’t put someone on the card. They’ll be ok.

Sasha Banks is coming to the ring when she runs into Bayley, who gets booed while wishing Bayley good luck.

Raw Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Alexa Bliss

Banks is challenging as a replacement for an injured Bayley. They brawl into the corner with the fans booing the heck out of Sasha. Bliss hits the hardest right hand she’s ever thrown but gets caught with a crossbody for two. Banks gets caught in the corner and faceplanted down to the mat. The New York fans are of course pleased with the woman from Boston getting beaten up, including having Bliss stand on her hair.

Alexa chokes in the corner and hits some double knees to the back. Some more choking ensues but Banks flips her out of the corner for a breather. Sasha makes her comeback with some clotheslines and a dropkick. Bliss tries a sunset flip out of the corner, only to have Sasha flip her backwards and head first into the buckles.

The Bank Statement goes on but it’s way too close to the ropes. Bliss takes her outside and sends her hard into the barricade, possibly injuring Sasha’s shoulder. Banks is back in at nine so Bliss is right on the arm, followed by Twisted Bliss for two. Some shots to the shoulder break up another Bank Statement, only to have Banks grab it again for the tap and the title at 13:17.

Rating: B-. Bliss did most of the work in the match and looked far better than I ever would have believed just a few months ago. This run has turned her into a completely acceptable worker, which isn’t what you would have expected. Banks winning is the right call long term, but they did a pretty lame job of building the match towards the finish. Still though, best thing on the show by a few miles so far.

We see the Shawn Michaels KFC bit again.

Long recap of Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt. Bray seemed to think that Balor was a false idol and promised to destroy him. Wyatt beat him this past Monday and then poured “blood” over him for some extra effect. Balor then said that Bray had his demons, but he did too. I think you know what that means.

Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor

After Bray’s full entrance, a voice starts singing He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands. That means the Demon King returns for the first time since last Summerslam to easily the reaction of the night. Finn crawls around and Bray takes an early breather on the still smoky floor. Back in and Balor hammers away, kicking Bray right back to the floor. Balor jumps over him in the corner so Bray leans over backwards for a scary look of his own.

That’s fine with Finn who sends him outside for a flip dive but it’s too early for the Coup de Grace. A suplex onto the floor knocks Balor silly though and we hit the chinlock for a bit. Balor pops back up and knocks him outside for a kick from the apron, followed by a Sling Blade back inside. Bray boots him in the face for two and declares that he has him. Balor gets in the shotgun dropkick against the barricade and throws him back inside for a quick Coup de Grace at 9:42 in another weak finish.

Rating: C+. As has been the case all night (and ever for the most part), it’s such a waste of a match to do it once on Monday and then again on Sunday. Why should I care that Balor won here when Bray already beat him earlier in the week? Either way, this was hardly a great return for Balor, who was the most obvious winner in the world here. Bray loses on the big stage, again, and it’s time to start his cycle all over again.

We recap Cesaro/Sheamus vs. Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins, which has very little to do with Cesaro/Sheamus. Ambrose and Rollins were tired of getting double teamed and teased getting back together for weeks. It FINALLY happened earlier this week and they were granted an immediate shot at the Tag Team Titles.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins

Sheamus and Cesaro are defending. Ambrose headlocks Sheamus to start and it’s a blind tag from Rollins to set up a knee drop. A dropkick staggers Cesaro and the champs are knocked to the floor without too much effort. Sheamus pulls Dean outside for a Brogue Kick though and Seth gets slammed on the floor for good measure.

Seth grabs a Blockbuster for a breather but hang on a second as Cesaro is running into the crowd. He grabs a beach ball that a fan was batting around and rips it to shreds, drawing a heck of a YES chant. I certainly love him a lot more now. Cesaro suplexes Seth down for two but seems to have tweaked his knee.

Rollins gets taken outside for a double beating, only to have Ambrose come off the top with the elbow to put everyone down. Back in and the champs are clotheslined over the top, setting up the double suicide dives. A Hart Attack with a Sling Blade (not a Blockbuster Cole) gets two on Cesaro and the rebound lariat puts him down again. Sheamus gets caught on top for a superplex with Rollins tagging himself in for a frog splash and a near fall with Cesaro making the save.

Cesaro breaks up the double bomb out of the corner and Dirty Deeds is countered into the Sharpshooter. Dean is almost in the ropes but Cesaro switches to a Crossface in the middle of the ring. Since that’s not going to work, it’s a powerbomb/top rope clothesline combination for two instead. White Noise is loaded up but Seth hurricanranas Cesaro off the top into Sheamus for the crazy save. A jumping knee to the face knocks Sheamus into Dirty Deeds for the pin and the titles at 18:35.

Rating: B. Heck of a match here with the ending looking great. That ending was a great touch as the Shield guys worked so well together. I’m not usually a fan of having two guys put together to become champions but it helps to have such a strong history between them. Now all they need is Roman as a surprise and things should be great all over again.

We recap Kevin Owens vs. AJ Styles for the US Title. They’ve traded the title in recent months but Owens blames his recent loss on bad refereeing. This meant Shane McMahon was appointed as guest referee, so Owens started bringing up Shane’s history as a crooked referee and his issues with AJ. The question is will Shane screw someone over and who will it be.

US Title: Kevin Owens vs. AJ Styles

AJ is defending with Shane McMahon as guest referee. Owens jumps him at the bell and hammers away with AJ’s comeback being cut off without much effort. The Cannonball gets two and Owens yells at Shane. A chinlock and backbreaker get two more on the champ but AJ says bring it. Styles wins a slugout and hits a belly to back faceplant for two but can’t follow up.

Back up and AJ manages the Phenomenal Forearm, only to hit Shane by mistake. That means there’s no one to count the Pop Up Powerbomb so Owens yells at Shane. As you might expect, AJ gets back up and knocks Shane to the floor by mistake. The Calf Crusher goes on and Owens taps to no avail.

Everyone gets back in and AJ forearms Owens down, only to get caught in the spinning superplex for two. AJ comes right back with the Styles Clash for a close two. Owens grabs the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin but AJ’s foot was on the ropes and Shane calls it off. That means an argument and Shane shoves Owens into a rollup for two. The Pele sets up the Phenomenal Forearm and a second Styles Clash retains the title at 17:25.

Rating: B. This was too much about Shane and they’re not exactly being subtle about the upcoming Owens vs. McMahon match. AJ retaining is the right call here as there’s no need to put it back on Owens if he’s going to be feuding with Shane in the coming weeks. It wasn’t quite the blow away match I was expecting but it was a good, back and forth fight and a definitive ending, which is the most important thing.

Some fans won a sweepstakes and got to go to the show.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match. Jinder Mahal won the title in May in a huge upset and has continued to defy his critics ever since. Shinsuke Nakamura became #1 contender by pinning John Cena clean. There’s also no Baron Corbin to cash-in his Money in the Bank briefcase any longer.

Smackdown World Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jinder Mahal

Jinder is defending and Nakamura is played to the ring by a live violinist. The threat of some kicks brings Mahal close enough to grab a wristlock, only to have Nakamura spin out and send Mahal outside. Nakamura says bring it on so Mahal gets back inside, only to get caught with Good Vibrations. Shinsuke is getting a little too comfortable so the Singh Brothers offer a distraction, allowing Mahal to pound him down and grab a chinlock.

Back up and Nakamura gets in a spinning kick to the jaw and a cross armbreaker but Jinder makes the ropes. Some hard kicks to the front and back of the head have Mahal reeling but here are the Singh Brothers for another distraction. This time it allows the Khallas to end Nakamura at 11:25.

Rating: D+. And Mahal retains to bore another day. I have no idea what’s supposed to interest me about Mahal but it’s really missing. Nakamura might not have been ready to win the title but the Singh Brothers distraction into a Khallas is about as lame of a finish as there is in WWE right now. If he had a great finisher or something it would make a big difference, but sweet goodness this let the air out of the place.

We recap the Universal Title match and simply put, this is going to be chaos. Brock Lesnar is defending against Braun Strowman, Samoa Joe and Roman Reigns with basically a guarantee of pure anarchy. I don’t think you need much more of an explanation.

Universal Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns vs. Samoa Joe vs. Braun Strowman

Lesnar is defending, anything goes, and he leaves WWE if he loses. Naturally Paul Heyman handles Lesnar’s Big Match Intro and we’re ready to go. Joe goes after Lesnar while Strowman and Reigns head outside. The first suplex sends Joe outside but Reigns posts Strowman to set up the first showdown. The first German suplex drops Reigns and Joe comes in to take the second. NOW it’s the real showdown though with Strowman vs. Lesnar and the fans are way into this one.

Joe and Reigns cut it off though and we’re forced to wait a bit more. The wait is only a few seconds though as Reigns and Joe are knocked outside and it’s Strowman LAUNCHING Lesnar into the corner and clotheslining him hard to the floor. Reigns comes back in and clotheslines Strowman, who calmly shoves Reigns away. Joe grabs the Koquina Clutch on Lesnar but sidesteps a spear, sending Lesnar HARD through the barricade.

Joe Rock Bottoms Reigns onto the announcers’ table but Strowman runs Joe over, leaving him as the last man standing. Strowman goes to load up the table as Graves hopes he uses Saxton as a weapon. A running powerslam drives Brock through a table but Reigns dropkicks Strowman down. Joe’s suicide elbow drops Reigns so Strowman throws a commentator’s chair at both of them.

Lesnar is getting back up so Strowman powerslams him through the second announcers’ table. Fans: “ONE MORE TABLE!” Strowman obliges by turning the last table over on top of Lesnar, drawing a bunch of referees and agents to save the champ. Heyman: “NOOOOO!” We get a stretcher for Brock as Heyman is absolutely losing his mind. Lesnar is taken out and Strowman wants to know where the Beast is now.

Strowman picks up some steps and decks both guys but Reigns slows him down with a few shots. A shot with the steps has Strowman reeling and a third sends him outside, only to have Joe come in with a rollup for two on Reigns. Roman gets two off the Samoan drop but the Superman Punch is countered into the Koquina Clutch. Strowman is right back in though and a double chokeslam gets two.

The Undertaker chants start up and here’s Brock again. Strowman gets taken down and a running forearm knocks him to the floor. It’s Suplex City time with both Samoans being sent flying. Strowman, with a bloody ear, breaks out of a suplex attempt so Brock goes with the Kimura.

Reigns makes the save with a Superman Punch, followed by another one to both guys. A weird looking spear (Lesnar didn’t really go backwards) gets two on Brock but Reigns gets caught in the Koquina Clutch. That’s broken up by a Strowman dropkick (Cole: “Is there anything he can’t do?”) for two on Joe. The Pop Up Superman Punch gets two more on Strowman and Reigns is almost scared by the kickout.

Braun gets two more off the powerslam with Lesnar making a save. Lesnar can’t F5 Braun but Reigns spears Braun out to the floor, leaving him alone with Brock. Joe is back in with the Clutch on Lesnar but Brock reverses into the F5 for two with Reigns making the save for his only positive reaction of the night. Three straight Superman Punches drop Brock but the spear is countered into the F5 to retain the title at 21:01.

Rating: A. I need a breather. You can tell they’re setting up something special for Strowman here as he didn’t take the pin, nor did he have anyone really get the better of him all match. Lesnar vs. Strowman is REALLY tempting right now and I’d love to see it happen at some big match. Like at Survivor Series or so.

That being said, WOW what a fight. These guys beat the heck out of each other for a long time and Lesnar looked incredibly vulnerable at times. It’s amazing how much better these matches are when he’s not the unstoppable machine and it looks like WWE is starting to learn that. It was great stuff here and Strowman looked like a monster, which is all he needed to be here. The fallout from this is going to be interesting and Reigns taking the fall hopefully means a bit of a downgrade for him.

Lesnar looks like he just fell out of a building to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The first hour of this show was awful and came as close as you can get to sinking what was an otherwise very good show. For once it helps when you have that much more time after the first hour to save things, but hopefully this shows WWE (it won’t) that four hours is too long for a regular show. If you cut out some of the bad stuff, this is a classic. As it is, it’s just a very good show with a great main event. In other words, good, but WWE gets in its own way again.

That being said, I really liked parts of this with the main event obviously blowing away everything else on the show. They have some serious options going forward, assuming they can manage to get Lesnar to show up more than once every few months. Strowman looks like the star of stars at this point and if they don’t do him vs. Lesnar before the end of Wrestlemania XXXIV, they’ve lost their freaking minds. Good show, but it needs an hour or so shaved off to bring it to that next level.

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Summerslam 2016
Date: August 21, 2016
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the second biggest night of the year but there’s a real case to be made that this show is much bigger than Wrestlemania. There are five potential main events with the likely headliner of Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton. Based on the matches alone there’s almost no way this isn’t great so let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Ascension/Vaudevillains/Breezango vs. American Alpha/Hype Bros/Usos

Rematch from Smackdown. Gable takes Breeze to the mat to start and works on the arm before it’s off to Jey. English comes in and gets his arm cranked by Rawley. Ryder comes in with a middle rope dropkick and everything breaks down with Alpha taking down Ascension with a top rope clothesline. Everyone is on the floor as we take a break. Back with Gotch cranking on Ryder’s arm before Viktor comes in with a chinlock.

Breeze gets his turn at a chinlock and Viktor keeps Zack in trouble. A neckbreaker puts Konnor down though and the hot tag brings in Jimmy to almost no reaction. Everything breaks down and Jordan starts throwing suplexes as only he cans. We get the parade of people hitting each other in the face until Rawley powerbombs Breeze and Viktor. The Usos superkick Ascension off the apron and hit double dives to take out most of the heels. Gotch takes the Grand Amplitude but Jey tags himself in for the Superfly Splash and the pin at 14:30.

Rating: C. This was a much longer version of what we got on Smackdown but at least they’re actually setting up the first major feud. Now that being said, I don’t buy the idea of Alpha winning the titles outright as it seems smarter to have them get really close but let another team steal the belts. That allows Alpha to chase them for a bit and build up the rest of the division in the process. Or they could just give us Alpha vs. the Usos and then wonder why everything after that is a letdown.

Pre-Show: Dudley Boyz vs. Sami Zayn/Neville

The Dudleys have been having some issues as of late. Neville and D-Von start as Cole confirms that Orton vs. Lesnar is the main event. The good guys take turns on D-Von’s arm until Neville uses Sami’s back as a launchpad for a corkscrew moonsault. Bubba gets in a shot from behind to take over as the fans want tables. D-Von cranks on Neville’s neck and we take a break.

Back with Bubba hitting a neckbreaker out of the corner and telling D-Von to work on that neck. It’s back to Bubba, who shouts at the “English boy” to fight back. The middle rope splash misses though and the hot tag brings in Sami. The comeback doesn’t last long though as Sami gets caught in the reverse 3D. Bubba clotheslines D-Von again, setting up the Helluva Kick and the Red Arrow for the pin at 7:54.

Rating: C. Remember the last few weeks where Bubba and D-Von can’t win basic matches? Well this was an extended version of that. Sami and Neville are fine for a tag team, though you would think Sami would have been much better suited getting a singles run off that big win over Owens. But nah, we need Cesaro vs. Sheamus in at least six matches instead of giving Sami some kind of a push.

Pre-Show: Cesaro vs. Sheamus

Match #1 in a best of seven series to establish dominance, whatever the heck that’s supposed to mean. Cesaro has a tear away tuxedo tonight. Cole: “Cesaro set to take on Cesaro tonight.” Apparently these two have been going back and forth. Now normally that would imply that they had both won a match but winning matches is so blasé anymore.

The Brogue Kick and Cesaro Swing are both broken up but Sheamus sends him into the post to take over. Sheamus puts on an armbar and a tilt-a-whirl powerslam takes us to a break. Back with Cesaro in a chinlock and a look at what we saw before the break, a full minute ago. The Regal Roll means we should respect the hawk but Cesaro counters a suplex to send both guys falling out to the floor.

Back in and Cesaro starts firing off the uppercuts to set up the lifting superplex for two. That’s not enough for the Neutralizer though as Sheamus grabs White Noise to escape. A middle rope Regal Roll gets two more for Sheamus but the Brogue Kick is blocked, followed by a very hard clothesline from Cesaro.

For some reason Cesaro stands on the post and jumps down onto the top rope for the high cross body. Not much of a change but it looked cool enough. The Swing sets up the Sharpshooter but Sheamus is right next to the rope. Sheamus is tired of getting beaten on though and thumbs him in the eye to set up the Brogue Kick for the pin at 14:38.

Rating: B-. Here’s the thing: yes this was a hard hitting, entertaining match but these two aren’t exactly the kind of wrestlers who vary their offense too much. How many different things are they going to be able to do to keep this presumably long series fresh? At least the first match was good and they went with the only option as you can’t have Sheamus lose three times in a row.

The opening video focuses on New York City because Heaven forbid we don’t tell New Yorkers how amazing their city is every chance we get. A good highlight package for most of the matches plays over the narration.

There’s an especially big Titantron to give the show a unique look.

Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens

Enzo and Cass suck up to the fans (makes sense) and sing a song I’m not familiar with. That leads to a talk about Frank Sinatra and Cass singing a little New York, New York. Now it’s time to talk about Big E. Smalls because they’re another problem for Jeri-KO. The Canadians jump Cass to start and double team Enzo for some good strategy. The fans chant STUPID IDIOT until Enzo punches Jericho in the face and tags in Cass.

House is quickly cleaned with the big man beating up the villains and sending them outside, only to have Enzo get launched over the top (with his foot almost getting caught on the top rope). Back in and Jericho kicks Enzo in the face to take over, allowing Owens to talk trash as only he can. We hit the ASK HIM chinlock, followed by the running the ropes chinlock from Owens.

Jericho cuts off a hot tag attempt and there’s the springboard dropkick to take Cass off the apron. Owens adds the frog splash for a near fall as you can hear the fans being very much into this. The Cannonball misses and that’s enough for the hot tag to Cass. The Bada Boom Shakalacka is broken up (and that’s a shame), allowing Owens to Cannonball Cass against the barricade. Back in and Owens launches Enzo into a Codebreaker for the pin at 12:22.

Rating: C+. Fun opener but the ending is a bit of a headscratcher, assuming this ends the feud. That ending was certainly dominance establishing if anything ever has been but that doesn’t mean enough to end a feud anymore. Notice that they’re still protecting Cass, which is a really good idea. I don’t think he’s actually been pinned yet in WWE and that could mean something special for his future.

Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan run into Mick Foley for the standard “my show is better”. They run into Jon Stewart, who freaks out about Foley working with Stephanie…..who is right behind Stewart. Stephanie teases abusing her power when New Day cuts them off. Foley steals some cereal as New Day asks if they can borrow Stewart. Stephanie says she’s misunderstood.

We recap Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte for the Women’s Title, which Banks won from Charlotte just under a month ago. The big deal is that Dana Brooke is banned from ringside, despite Banks winning after Dana was ejected in the first match.

Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte

Banks is defending and gets right in Charlotte’s face before we can even get the Big Match Intros. Cole again gets the dominance concept in as Charlotte uses her “physical dominance” to put Sasha in the corner. The champ comes right back with an early Bank Statement attempt to send Charlotte into the corner. Charlotte puts her on the top rope for a choke with her boot before trying a backbreaker onto the top, only to have Sasha crash onto the ropes for two instead.

Charlotte stays on the back with a Gory Special and an STO backbreaker for another near fall. A hurricanrana gets Sasha out of trouble for a bit but Charlotte ties her in the Tree of Woe for some kicks to the ribs. In the move that has to be countered to avoid death, Charlotte’s super Razor’s Edge is countered with another hurricanrana to put both of them down. They slug it out with Sasha slapping away to take over before putting on a Boston crab in the corner.

The double knees to the back get two before Sasha knocks her to the floor for the double knees to the chest. She’s lucky that didn’t crush Charlotte’s head. The Bank Statement doesn’t work but Natural Selection is countered into the Bank Statement, only to have Charlotte escape again. Now Natural Selection connects for a string of two counts before Sasha grabs another Bank Statement. Charlotte is in trouble until she grabs the leg and rolls Sasha up for the pin and the title at 13:49.

Rating: B. Remember when Sasha won the title and it was a big deal and felt like a change of pace? Yeah forget all that because we’re likely heading for a gimmick match at Clash of the Champions as the title is hot potatoed again. This is another good example of the booking being suited for whatever they have coming up instead of what makes sense, especially when you could do the same thing to set up a third match later on. Not a fan of the booking but the match was the usual good stuff from these two.

Anderson and Gallows are making doctor jokes when AJ Styles comes in for some too sweeting. Finn Balor comes in, looks at them, and leaves as the fans lose their minds.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Apollo Crews

Crews is challenging after winning a triple threat. These two have had almost no contact to build this up and it’s a pretty forgotten match coming in. Speaking of forgotten, Maryse’s outfit (basically a one piece swimsuit) is likely going to cause a lot of people to forget that there’s a match going on. Crews gets two off a rollup but gets caught in a DDT. Miz gets dropkicked out of the air and Crews slams him hard for two. An overhead belly to belly sets up the standing moonsault (from Crews if that’s not clear) and a rollup gets two. Crews misses a charge into the corner though and the Skull Crushing Finale retains the title at 5:40.

Rating: C. Just a Smackdown match here with the Intercontinental Title still not doing much at Summerslam. Crews losing here is fine as it’s not like he’s done anything worthy of being champion yet. That being said, it would be nice if the fans were given something to cheer for on this very long night.

We recap John Cena vs. AJ Styles. AJ beat him (with the help of the Club) at Money in the Bank and they’ve actually held off on the rematch since. The idea is an old standard as AJ thinks it’s his time but Cena wants to stand up for what he believes in and isn’t ready to go yet. The promos have more than carried it though and that’s what really matters, especially when the match itself will be great.

AJ Styles vs. John Cena

This is earlier than I was expecting. The dueling chants being and you can tell Cena is fired up. Feeling out process to start until AJ hits the dropdown dropkick but spends too much time posing, allowing a big right hand to the face. The fans come up with various ways to say John Cena sucks as AJ suplexes him on the apron to take over.

AJ’s strike rush has Cena in trouble but he comes back again with the running shoulders. Styles gets right up and hits the Pele to set up the first Styles Clash for the first kicking out of a finisher. Since this is a Cena pay per view match, an AA hits immediately after for two more. I knew that was coming before they were even off the mat.

A torture rack powerbomb gets two more for AJ before something like a Big Ending of all things gets the same for Cena. The AA backbreaker drops Cena for two more but AJ misses a springboard 450. Cena can’t follow up though and AJ gets two off a belly to back into a facebuster. There’s the STF but Styles reverses into a not great Crossface. Cena powers out but gets pulled down into the Calf Crusher.

That’s reversed into the STF which is escaped for an enziguri from AJ. They’re just trading big moves here. The tornado DDT and top rope Fameasser get two each for Cena so AJ uses his turn for a super hurricanrana. The Phenomenal Forearm gets two more so Cena uses that big clothesline that he uses for a comeback. Cena grabs the super AA for two in a very rare failure for that move. John looks at him in awe and charges into another Styles Clash, followed by the Phenomenal Forearm for the completely clean pin at 23:17.

Rating: A. That’s going to set the bar very high for the match of the weekend. AJ winning clean here is a HUGE deal for him and makes him the pretty much undisputed #1 contender for the Smackdown World Title. It’s really nice to see the trend of “Cena loses, Cena wins, Cena wins again” broken and the fact that it was in such a great match helped a lot. Oh and very good move to have AJ kick out of the super AA and then win. It would have been such a waste otherwise. This was great stuff and the ending made it even better so I’m much happier than I was coming in.

Cena actually gets cheered post match. He takes off the Never Give Up armband and leaves it in the ring before walking away. I doubt it goes anywhere but that could mean something.

Some fans won a contest.

Here’s Jon Stewart to say that was a great match because no one interfered and hit one of them with a chair. Yes he did that last year and he learned that you never take an AA without tucking your shirt in. He’s been asked by New Day to join with them for one night and puts on a unicorn horn. Stewart starts Big E.’s intro but the crowd does the rest for him.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Anderson and Gallows

New Day is defending and Big E. is out hurt. Anderson and Gallows come out in their doctor coats and even have a small jar for Stewart. Kofi starts with Anderson and flips out of a monkey flip as you would expect him to do. The Unicorn Stampede has Gallows in trouble and Kofi dives over the top, poses in the air, and takes him out again.

Anderson offers a quick distraction so Kofi can get beaten down for a bit, only to have Woods get the tag a few moments later. A big elbow from the top (as in the middle of the rope, not the corner) gets two on Anderson as everything breaks down. There’s the Magic Killer but Stewart comes in to yell. Anderson and Gallows go to beat him up, allow Stewart to tuck in his shirt, and go to crotch him against the post. Cue Big E. for the save though and that’s a DQ at 9:10.

Rating: D+. This was just a way to keep the titles on New Day for a year as they’ll likely drop them to Anderson and Gallows at Clash of the Champions. The match was nothing special of course as again this felt like a Raw match to fill in time on a pay per view instead of something that actually mattered. Not bad or anything but just there.

Big E. drinks the fluid in his his ball jar.

We recap Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose. Dean is carrying Smackdown as the champion but Ziggler won a six pack challenge to earn a title shot here. Ziggler has been getting much more serious lately and superkicked Dean in mid sentence on Smackdown earlier this week.

Smackdown World Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dean is defending and Shane and Bryan are at ringside to hold them apart before the bell. They slap each other in the face to start until Ziggler takes him down with a nice amateur move. Dean goes outside and sends Ziggler into the steps, followed by a butterfly superplex for two. Ambrose grabs a half crab as JBL goes into a rant about Dean robbing a homeless mannequin.

Back up and Dean gets two off a Glam Slam of all things before tuning up the band, which is now mocking Ziggler instead of Shawn. Instead of a superkick (what a concept), Dean tries Dirty Deeds but gets shoved to the floor. Ziggler gets two off the running DDT and hits back to back Fameassers for two. They hit crossbodies at the same time before Dean takes over with the top rope elbow.

Dean swivels his hips a bit (so he’s ripped off Shawn Michaels, Dolph Ziggler, Dude Love and Rick Rude so far) before they fall out to the floor. Ziggler hits a quick superkick before the Zig Zag gets two back inside. The sleeper doesn’t get Ziggler very far as Dean hits the rebound lariat for two more. Ziggler takes him up for a super faceplant but gets shoved down and caught in Dirty Deeds for the clean pin (and silence from the crowd) at 15:22.

Rating: B-. That was a good midcard title match disguised as a World Title match for reasons that I don’t even want to try to comprehend. Ziggler losing clean like that was rather stupid but you had to expect something close to it. People just don’t buy him as a big deal and it’s really hard to after all these losses. It’s probably the best move though because either of these guys is just keeping the title warm for Styles.

We look at WWE taking over New York.

Naomi/Becky Lynch/Carmella vs. Natalya/Alexa Bliss/???

Eva Marie gets her full entrance but apparently she’s suffering from exhaustion and anxiety brought on by mean WWE fans. Therefore, we have a replacement.

Naomi/Becky Lynch/Carmella vs. Natalya/Alexa Bliss/Nikki Bella

Becky and Natalya start things off before it’s off to Naomi for a springboard sunset flip for two. The splits legdrop gets two more and it’s off to Carmella to send Natalya into a raised boot. Natalya takes over and it’s back to Nikki to a shockingly strong pop. A spinebuster gets two on Carmella before Bliss comes in for her moonsault knees to the ribs for two. Carmella finally crawls over and makes the tag off to Becky as things speed up but the crowd stays quiet.

Becky fires off the kicks in the corner and the Bexploder drops Natalya. A hard enziguri hits Natalya again and it’s off to Naomi for the dancing kicks. The split legged moonsault misses though and we get Carmella vs. Nikki as everything breaks down. Nikki hits her big forearm and a TKO puts Carmella away at 11:04. Ranallo: “Nikki Bella victorious in her return to WWE!”

Rating: C. Well there’s your first Smackdown Women’s Champion and to be fair, it’s not the worst idea. The only real options they had for realistic potential champions were Becky (fine) and Natalya (save me) as Naomi isn’t interesting and the other three aren’t ready for the title scene. Nikki is a good addition, but egads I was liking not having to hear about how inspirational they are and how much we should admire them.

We recap Rusev vs. Roman Reigns for the US Title, which involved Lana going into a wedding cake.

Maria Menunos of all people interviews Rusev and Lana, who say the title isn’t going anywhere.

We recap Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins for the inaugural Universal Title. Rollins gets the spot due to being the #1 draft pick and Balor won a mini tournament by pinning Roman Reigns to get his place. Seth seems to be laughing off Balor as a challenger so Balor brought out the Demon to make it clear how serious this was.

Raw World Title: Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

The title is vacant coming in. We see the belt for the first time and it’s the same as the Smackdown World Title but with a red strap and a UNIVERSAL CHAMPION plate on the bottom. Balor does the full on Demon entrance (complete with something like a Papa Shango paint design) and the fans are VERY pleased. This has to be won via pin or submission so it’s essentially a street fight.

Balor hits a quick dropkick and loads up the Coup de Grace but Rollins gets to the floor. Finn follows him out and starts going after the leg before diving off the barricade. Back in and Balor works on the leg, only to be taken outside for a powerbomb into the barricade. Rollins chokes away in the corner and it’s off to a chinlock. Things stay slow as Seth works on the back (too common of a target tonight) before ripping at Finn’s face.

The good looking frog splash gets two on Balor but he reverses a clothesline (looked like a Rainmaker, which is still just a clothesline) into a DDT. A knee to the face sends Rollins outside and a Sling Blade knocks him silly inside. 1916 gets two for Finn but the Coup de Grace misses and Seth grabs a triangle choke of all things. Finn gets his foot on the ropes but that’s not a break because there’s no DQ. Uh….that’s not really the same as rope breaks not counting but I get the idea.

Back in and the Buckle Bomb sets up the low superkick for two. A small package driver (fisherman’s driver into a fast small package) gets two more but Balor kicks him down, only to miss the Coup de Grace. The Pedigree only gets two and the fans aren’t even responding to the near falls anymore. Seth rolls through a Phoenix Splash (geez) but runs to the top for a superplex into a Pedigree attempt, only to have Balor dropkick him into the corner. The Coup de Grace makes Balor champion at 19:16.

Rating: B+. This was the only option as they had to pull the trigger on Balor (or someone) after the ratings have been such a disaster. Balor might not be a great champion but they’ve made him feel like a big deal and that’s what they need on this show. Rollins can take the title back whenever if necessary but at least the match was great and Rollins put him over clean.

Cole says Balor is the first person to win a World Title in his first match on a pay per view. No Cole, he’s not.

Pre-show panel recap because screw people having to go to work tomorrow.

It’s 10:26pm and we’ve got two matches left, so here’s a video of Dolph Ziggler dressed up as Colonel Sanders to beat up Miz in a chicken suit. No this isn’t some fever dream from watching too much wrestling lately. This is really happening and you’re supposed to be entertained by it.

US Title: Roman Reigns vs. Rusev

Reigns is challenging to stand up for America. Rusev jumps him before the bell and sends Reigns into the steps a few times. The bad arm is crushed by some steps but Reigns Superman Punches him off the barricade. Referees come out to pull them apart and the guys fight over a chair. Reigns cracks him over the back with a chair and is finally made to leave. No match due to Rusev not being able to compete.

Rusev is being helped off and Reigns runs back out for the spear. Ok Reigns is the heel now. Let’s see: he showed up to the wedding celebration uninvited, ruined Lana’s dress and then attacked an injured man. Rusev on the other hand was standing up for his wife and defending her honor. Why does that make him a heel here?

Long video on Orton vs. Lesnar, the same one from the last few weeks on TV. They were put together to give Lesnar a big match and they’ve traded finishers since.

Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton

They circle each other to start until Lesnar takes him into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs. A way too early RKO attempt is countered and we get three German suplexes in the first two minutes. Lesnar hits three more before sending Orton outside for a slam onto the announcers’ table. A throw off the barricade sends Orton through the table as this has been one sided so far. JBL talks about the OVW class these two came out of and says Brock has beaten everyone out of that class save for Orton. Again, no JBL, he hasn’t (never beat Batista on TV, beat Orton in a nothing match).

Lesnar goes to the other table but gets caught in a quick RKO. The DDT off the barricade knocks him even sillier but Orton spends too much time loading up the Punt and gets caught in an F5 for two. Lesnar takes the gloves off and hammers away with punches and elbows. Brock finally gets up and Orton is GUSHING blood. The doctor comes in but Lesnar shoves him away and keeps pounding away as the fans chant for Goldberg. They actually call the match at 12:42 and we’re done.

Rating: C+. I’m not sure how to grade this one. If this ended due to a legit injury and they couldn’t stop the blood then that’s perfectly fine and I completely get it. If this was the planned ending, my goodness what are they thinking? After a show this long, you don’t give us a thirteen minute main event with Lesnar winning AGAIN, especially in such dominant fashion. It’s just stupid booking and serves no one but people who think Lesnar is interesting for reasons I’ll never understand.

Post match Lesnar stays at it until Shane McMahon comes out…..and takes an F5 to end the show. They can’t possibly be setting this up for Wrestlemania, right? Like, there’s no way they’re that stupid. SOMEONE TELL ME THEY’RE REALLY NOT DOING SOMETHING THAT INCREDIBLY STUPID!

Overall Rating: B. So as you might not know, I write up a lot of the overall rating before the show ends for the sake of time and occasionally adjust it accordingly. In this case, the show dropped all the way from an A- to a B on that ending angle alone. We’ve spent HOW LONG watching Brock tear through people and be the most dominant thing ever to set up a match against SHANE FREAKING MCMAHON of all people? And for what? To continue this Raw vs. Smackdown feud?

I was thrilled when Shane came back because he was full of energy and all that jazz, but then he gets to have a thirty minute match with Undertaker at Wrestlemania where he kicked out of multiple finishers and now he might get TO FIGHT BROCK LESNAR??? Are you serious? At what point does Shane become more annoying than Stephanie with all this catering to him because he’s a McMahon? I can’t believe I’m saying this but I think we passed it months ago.

Now, on to the stuff before WWE lost its mind.

I’d like to point out that they had three matches on a two hour pre-show, nine matches on a four hour pay per view, cut a match out and STILL ran over. At what point do you look at a show and realize that you need to trim things down a bit? Apparently not here but at least it’s better than what they did at Wrestlemania.

Speaking of Wrestlemania, this felt a lot more like a Wrestlemania card than this year’s Wrestlemania did. There was a great match, a return, new champions and less questionable booking (It should be noted that during the show, news broke that Sasha was injured which completely explains the loss. Oh and save for LESNAR VS. SHANE AGAIN) than the biggest show of the year. If this was trimmed down by about half an hour to an hour, it’s a classic. As it is, it’s just very good and that’s a great sign for them going forward.

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Summerslam 2015
Date: August 23, 2015
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the second biggest show of the year and the main event is a match too big for Wrestlemania as Brock Lesnar faces the Undertaker, who is looking for revenge after Lesnar snapped his legendary streak a year and a half ago. Also it’s title for title with US Champion John Cena facing WWE World Champion Seth Rollins. Let’s get to it.

There was no match on the pre-show.

Here’s special host Jon Stewart to open things up. He talks about all the people who will be here for the ten matches (meaning the Tag Team Title match will be on the main show) and lists off the people on the card, with Lesnar getting one of the strongest reactions. Stewart isn’t over the Streak being broken so he’d like to talk to Brock about beating the Undertaker. However, since Stewart is a mere mortal, he’d like to have a friend there when he does so. That friend is Mick Foley, who comes out to stand by his friend.

However, there seems to be some confusion. See, Foley thought Stewart wanted help interviewing Rock, not Brock. Stewart brings up Undertaker destroying Foley in the Cell and how Foley shouldn’t be afraid of anything. Foley: “THAT WAS SEVENTEEN YEARS AGO!” Foley has wrestled around the world but never visited Suplex City and isn’t stating tonight so Stewart is on his own. Jon says on with the show.

The opening video talks about every city having a story. This city’s story is about making legends, which leads to your standard well done videos hyping up the double main event.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Well they got to open the previous pay per view with a just ok match so maybe they can get all the way up to not bad here. The threat of an RKO sends Sheamus outside in the first ten seconds, just like it did on Smackdown. Sheamus gets on the announcers’ table to say the fans look stupid, not him. Orton comes out and sweeps Sheamus’ leg to move things along but Sheamus takes him down and drops a knee for two. Sheamus stomps him down and asks if the fans are not entertained. Fans: “NO!”

We hit the chinlock on Orton, drawing out HOW YO DOIN and OLE chants from the very vocal crowd. Randy fights to his feet and t-bones Sheamus out to the floor for a big crash. Back in and Sheamus tries a quick Cloverleaf but walks into a powerslam for two. Sheamus gets in a shot to the ribs and heads up top, only to have Randy pull him down with the DDT. Again the threat of an RKO sends Sheamus outside, but this time he’s able to grab Orton for the ten forearms to the chest.

Sheamus tries the slingshot shoulder but Orton catches him in midair in the RKO for a sweet counter. Since this match hasn’t dragged on long enough though, Sheamus rolls outside to keep things going. With the RKO not working well enough, Orton loads up the Punt, which almost never works but neither does this match so why not try it anyway? Sheamus catches him coming in with White Noise, followed by two Brogue Kicks for the pin at 12:11.

Rating: C-. The wrestling was the best these two have ever done but there’s one simple problem: I have no reason to care about any of this. These guys have been feuding for weeks but they’re still here for reasons I don’t get. Like, why is this feud continuing other than the script says it should? That’s bad writing and a problem that WWE has far too often. The main positive here: Sheamus won a big match completely clean. Now enjoy losing until like, Survivor Series.

Some fans won a contest and got to do cool stuff.

Tag Team Titles: Prime Time Players vs. New Day vs. Lucha Dragons vs. Los Matadores

The Prime Time Players are defending but New Day steals the show with their rendition of Jay Z’s New York, complete with some lyrics about how awful the rest of the teams are, unlike New day which rocks. One fall to a finish and you can tag yourself in. New Day tries the old New Age Outlaws play by tagging in both members (Kofi and Big E.) to pin each other but the Dragons make the save.

The Dragons come in with some fast double teaming followed by Kalisto kicking Big E. in the head over and over. It’s off to Darren vs. Kofi but Big E. splashes Young to put him in trouble. This match is incredibly fast paced so far. It’s Diego in to stay on Darren’s injured ribs but New Day makes their rapid tags to stomp Young in the corner. Woods rants about breakfast and the fans are behind New Day.

Kofi comes in for a chinlock to slow things down for the first time. It’s off to Big E. for the abdominal stretch, as Cole suggests that Woods tweet instead of talk. Cole: “He could use hashtag fatal four way.” Woods: “BIG E. HAS THE MARKET CORNED ON TRICEP MEAT! YOU CAN’T EVEN GET A HAMBURGER IN WWE!” As Woods keeps going about how entertaining this beating is, Darren finally escapes for the tag to Titus, who cleans all kinds of house.

Everything breaks down and Los Matadores are sent to the floor where Fernando dropkicks Sin Cara out of the air. Woods shoves Fernando off the top rope and faceplants Torito to a nice reaction from the fans. Darren drops Woods onto the apron but Big E. spears Young back to the floor. The Lucha Dragons’ double superplex to Diego is turned into a Tower of Doom by Titus, but Kofi sneaks in with a blind tag. The Clash of the Titus plants Fernando, but Big E. throws Titus outside so Kofi can pin Fernando for the titles at 11:20. Big E.’s dancing celebration makes this even better.

Rating: B-. I had a great time with this as they didn’t even try to keep this as a regular match and made the whole thing insane. Woods stole the show here though and sounded like a star. They’ve figured out the perfect formula for these guys and the idea of New Day getting to brag about being right is awesome. Good stuff here and the match that should have opened the show.

Jon Stewart is in the back with Stephen Amell and Neville. Stewart is a big fan but is really here for Undertaker, who passes by the three of them, silencing all three.

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler

Lana left Rusev for Ziggler so Rusev injured Ziggler, triggering this match. Also Rusev has Summer Rae in his corner, who is now dressing as Lana. To counter, Lana is dressing like Ziggler. Got all that? Rusev starts fast and stomps Ziggler down before choking on the ropes. He kicks Dolph in the ribs and puts on a bearhug for a good while before the swinging Rock Bottom plants him again. All Rusev so far.

Rusev gorilla presses him up but Ziggler counters into a DDT for a breather. The Stinger Splash and neckbreaker get two for Dolph but Rusev comes back with the spinwheel kick for the same. Rusev goes up top so Ziggler can run the ropes into an X Factor. Ziggler tries a hurricanrana but has to settle for two off a sunset flip. There’s the sleeper to slow Rusev down but he’s quickly out, only to eat a Fameasser for a close two.

Rusev kicks him down again and puts on the Accolade but the girls get into it, freaking Rusev out enough that he lets go. Ziggler rolls outside but Rusev stops to stare at Lana, who gets decked by Summer. A quick superkick knocks Ziggler onto the announcers’ table and it’s a double countout at 12:00.

Rating: C. This was starting to cook before the lame draw ending. It’s a very interesting case here: Rusev and Ziggler have decent chemistry and Lana vs. Summer could be interesting, but Ziggler and Lana have some of the worst chemistry I’ve ever seen. It’s just awful stuff and they drag down every single scene they’re in together.

The guys keep fighting post match but Summer comes in, triggering a catfight. This almost has to lead to a mixed tag.

We recap Stephen Amell/Neville vs. Stardust/King Barrett. Amell is an actor who portrays the Green Arrow. Stardust has gone insane and thinks he’s a supervillain while Neville is billed as a superhero. King Barrett is thrown in there to make it a tag match and he has nothing better to do. As strange as this sounds, it’s actually been very well done and Amell looks like a great athlete.

Stardust/King Barrett vs. Neville/Stephen Amell

Amell comes out in his Arrow gear but is wrestling in shorts and boots. Neville flips away from Barrett to start and it’s quickly off to Stardust. He wants Amell and gets his wish, as Stephen springboards in and lands right in front of Stardust. Stardust shoves him down so Amell nips up and kicks him in the ribs. A hiptoss puts Stardust down again and Amell shoots an invisible arrow.

Barrett comes in for a kick to the ribs though and Amell is in trouble. Stardust comes back in but gets caught by an enziguri, finally allowing the hot tag to Neville. Everything breaks down with Neville cleaning house, including a middle rope Phoenix splash to Barrett, but Amell gets the dive off the top to drop Barrett and Stardust. The Red Arrow puts Barrett away at 7:37.

Rating: B+. That’s probably the best celebrity performance in the history of wrestling. Amell looked more polished that a lot of indy guys I’ve seen and was clearly having a blast out there. When his selling is already better than a good chunk of your main roster, it might be a sign that you need to make a few changes. I was very impressed here and Amell was awesome. And before I get a million complaints, yes this is on a very sliding scale.

Video on Summerslam week.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Big Show vs. Ryback

Ryback is defending and this was supposed to happen last month, only to have Ryback get injured. Miz bails to the floor to start but comes back in when Ryback has Big Show in some trouble. Show suplexes both of them down and hits a middle rope swanton (yes you read that right) on Ryback, who Miz covers for two. Back up and Miz gets dropped, allowing Show to chokeslam Ryback onto him for two. It’s Ryback up first with a spinebuster and splash to Big Show.

The fans actually get into the FEED ME MORE chant and Ryback Shell Shocks Big Show, before having to kick out of a Skull Crushing Finale. Miz gets two on Show as well and then covers both guys for two more each, followed by a third cover on each for one. I liked that. Show KO’s Ryback but Miz breaks it up at two and gets his own near fall on Ryback. There’s a KO Punch for Miz as well but Ryback shoves Show outside and steals the pin at retain at 5:31. Cole: “Classic triple threat match!”

Rating: C-. Dang they’re flying through this show tonight. We’re through five matches in just over an hour and a half and this match was the fastest of all. They had an idea going here with the stolen pins but the speed hurt it a bit. I’m very glad Ryback retained though as he’s starting to make the title feel important and it would have been really stupid to put it back on Miz or Show for another lame reign.

Stewart tries to talk to Lesnar but gets Paul Heyman instead. Jon talks about being a wrestling fan and how people remember the person with the Streak, not the person who broke it. He goes on about Heyman and Lesnar giving the fans coal for Christmas instead of a puppy. Heyman: “Glory, glory, BROCK LESNAR! I guess we couldn’t get David Letterman to host the show.”

Bray Wyatt/Luke Harper vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose

Ambrose and Harper get things going but everything breaks down in a hurry with the Shield guys taking over and Dean running from announcers’ table to table for a dive onto Bray. The Wyatts pop back up though with Harper suicide diving onto Reigns, followed by a quick superkick over the announcers’ table. Ambrose’ suicide dive is basically no sold and Harper kicks him in the face to really take over.

Things settle down with the Wyatts taking over on Ambrose in the corner with some loud chops. Ambrose gets tied up in the ropes so Bray can suplex him to the floor ala Orton’s hanging DDT. Reigns is still down at ringside. Dean crawls to the empty corner and realizes what’s going on. JBL: “You’re all alone Gilligan.” The Wyatts take turns on Dean, who finally clotheslines Wyatt down. Fans: “ROMAN’S SLEEPING!”

Reigns FINALLY gets on the apron for the hot tag and cleans house, only to have the Superman Punch countered for a sitout powerbomb. Bray says he has an idea but Roman backdrops out of whatever they had planned. It’s back to Ambrose for a Doomsday Device for two on Harper. The Superman Punch and a DoubleBomb plant Harper again, followed by Dirty Deeds to Wyatt. Dean tags Roman back in for the spear and pin on Wyatt at 9:54.

Rating: C+. Well it was certainly energetic. I was buying into the tease of a heel turn but it wouldn’t have made sense given that Reigns was there when Dean finally got free for the hot tag. Also, it’s kind of nice to not go with the turn when it seems the most obvious for a change. You don’t have to force things in wrestling but WWE has fallen in love with the idea.

We recap Rollins vs. Cena. The video has Cena narrating about how awesome New York is before Rollins starts talking about the knee, setting up the title for title match. They really started playing up Cena winning his sixteenth title near as Summerslam got closer.

WWE World Title/US Title: John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins is World Champion and Cena is US Champion with both on the line. Seth is all in white here. Cena grabs a headlock to start and the fans are entirely behind Rollins. Back up and we get a “Ce-na Sucks!” chant, followed by a Blockbuster from Seth. Three straight suicide dives make Rollins an even bigger hero but he has to get to the ropes to block the STF.

The Pedigree is countered and Cena totally misses the Springboard Stunner to get the crowd even more riled up. Seth’s standing shooting star gets two so he ties Cena in the Tree of Woe for a top rope double stomp. Back up and a quick AA gets two for Cena before they slug it out. The Pedigree is countered into a catapult, followed by a reverse powerbomb to give John two.

Cena’s top rope Fameasser gets two more but Seth comes back with the buckle bomb for the same. A frog splash of all things crushes Cena and Rollins busts out an AA of his own for two more. Rollins takes his sweet time following up and gets caught in the STF. Cena pulls him back to the middle but has to fight out of the Pedigree, meaning it’s time for a Figure Four on Rollins.

Seth turns it over to reverse the pressure and both guys are down. With nothing else to do, Rollins superplexes him but rolls through into a bonus falcon’s arrow. Back up and the AA connects on Seth but the referee is knocked outside. Cena goes to check on him but gets hit with the knee to the nose. Cue Jon Stewart with a chair (Stewart and Rollins feuded on his show for months) but he hits Cena in the ribs, setting up a Pedigree onto the chair for the pin at 19:27.

Rating: B+. Uh……well alright then. I’m not sure what to think about this one but it’s nice to see Rollins getting a win in a big spot like this. I’m fine with him holding the title a bit longer as there’s really no reason to put it back on Cena just yet. The US Title could go a few different ways now and that makes things more interesting. Good match here, though I’m not sure what the point of the ending was.

Preview of upcoming WWE Network shows, including Edge and Christian on the Stone Cold Podcast, plus Lesnar at another house show at Madison Square Garden on October 3.

The pre-show panel talks as the fans thank Stewart.

We recap the Divas Revolution. Here’s the short version: one team wins, the second team wins, then the third team wins. Nothing changes though because this isn’t about being champion yet.

Team BAD vs. Team Bella vs. Team PCB

BAD: Naomi, Sasha Banks, Tamina

Bella: Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Alicia Fox

PCB: Paige, Charlotte, Becky Lynch

This is an elimination match with one fall eliminating each team. Brie and Becky start things off but it’s quickly off to Tamina to kick Becky in the face. BAD takes turns on Becky with Sasha only getting a slam before tagging back to Tamina. Everything breaks down and BAD hit flip dives (Sasha’s barely connected) onto PCB on the floor in a scary looking crash. The Bellas hit stereo suicide dives, which Cole incorrectly calls new. Paige flips onto the entire pile and all nine are down. Back in and Brie hits a quick Bella Buster for the pin on Tamina to get us down to two.

Nikki Rack Attacks Becky for two but Paige makes the save, only to take the Alabama Slam on the floor. Brie comes in for some YES Kicks and a weak Daniel Bryan chant before it’s off to Fox as the match is finally in a standard formula. We hit the double arm crank as the fans want Charlotte. Instead they get Nikki snap suplexing Paige for two. Back to Fox who eats a knee to the face, finally allowing the hot tag to Charlotte.

Nikki has to break up the Figure Eight on Fox but Alicia pops back up for a double big boot to put herself and Charlotte down again. Becky gets the hot tag to slug it out with Brie, who misses the BRIE MODE dropkick. Yeah it’s a dropkick this time. Lynch grabs a pumphandle slam for the pin on Brie at 15:17.

Rating: C-. So yeah, as you might have expected, Sasha gets no time after last night’s classic, the Bellas get to look dominant for most of the match, and then Becky gets a quick bit of lip service for the pin. Maybe now we can FINALLY get on with an actual story, but there’s a good chance we have more Bella promos to sit through first.

Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens

Owens said Cesaro couldn’t beat Cena but Cesaro called Owens out on quitting all his matches. Kevin starts fast and knocks Cesaro outside for a flip dive, only to spend so much time yelling at Cole, allowing Cesaro to connect with a corkscrew dive of his own. Owens is right back up though and sends Cesaro into the barricade for a Cannonball.

A backsplash onto Cesaro’s back gets two and we hit the chinlock, which is now just a regular chinlock because why should Owens be allowed to make a spot fun? For some reason Owens thinks it’s a good idea to talk trash so Cesaro powers up and fires off slaps and punches, followed by the reverse Angle Slam for two. A gutwrench superplex gets two for Cesaro but he can’t hit the Neutralizer. Because Owens is fat you see. Like, fatter than Big Show fat. Even though Big Show weighs like 150lbs more, Owens is fat so it means more.

Owens misses his springboard moonsault but gets two off a superkick. The running uppercut sets up the Cesaro Swing into the Sharpshooter but Owens makes the rope. Cesaro puts him up top, blocks the fisherman’s superplex, and hits a great looking dropkick to stun Owens. He tries…..something, but gets crotched and superplexed, setting up the Pop Up Powerbomb to give Owens the pin at 14:21.

Rating: B-. This was the old “let two guys hit each other a lot” style and it’s very nice to see Owens win another major match. Granted that pretty much ends Cesaro’s match as he came in fresh against a banged up Owens and still lost, but one of them had to lose here and I like Owens winning better.

We recap Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar. Brock broke the Streak last year at Wrestlemania but his agent Paul Heyman wouldn’t shut up about it, which angered Undertaker and made him attack Lesnar. That set up the rematch, where for reasons I’ll never understand, WWE is trying to make Undertaker a heel.

Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker

Lesnar goes after Undertaker during the entrance (has anyone ever done that?) but Undertaker fights him off and knocks Lesnar to the floor for the opening bell. Back in and they slug it out with Undertaker getting the better of it. Old School is caught in an F5 but Undertaker slips off the back, only to be driven into the corner. There’s the first suplex but Undertaker is able to send him into the buckle to block a second. Brock might be busted open.

Snake Eyes into the big boot send Brock outside and Undertaker drops the apron legdrop. They head back inside with Undertaker winning another slugout. See, I can live with that as Undertaker has been billed as the best pure striker for years. It’s not exactly HHH just throwing punches and being fine against Brock. The chokeslam is countered into another German and Undertaker is in trouble again.

They head outside where another chokeslam is countered into the F5 through the announcers’ table to knock Undertaker silly again. Undertaker gets back in at nine and Brock just smiles at him. Brock: “I’ll kill you.” Undertaker: “You’re going to have to.” Brock goes for him but walks into a chokeslam. Tombstone gets two but Brock is up first and laughing again. Undertaker sits up and they start punching each other in the face.

Brock remembers he knows submissions and puts on the Kimura but Undertaker is in the ropes, meaning he can hit the Last Ride for another two. Brock is up first for a second F5 and another near fall. Now Lesnar is getting frustrated and the third F5 is still only good for two. That gets it past the ending at Wrestlemania.

Undertaker suckers Brock into the Hell’s Gate but gets countered into another Kimura with a bodyscissors. The bell rings but the referee says he didn’t call for it. Heyman says Undertaker tapped and in the distraction, Undertaker hits a low blow and puts on the Hell’s Gate but Lesnar flips him off….and passes out to end this at 17:13.

Rating: B+. And now we get a third because trilogies are JUST SO FREAKING COOL RIGHT??? This was a good old fashioned fight but I’m really not wild on seeing Brock lose. We don’t need to see them fight again, but that’s exactly what we’re going to get because that’s supposed to be epic. Ignore the fact that Undertaker never beating Lesnar and the Streak will be gone, but why not take away the two interesting things for the sake of a TRILOGY right? Really fun brawl though and the match they were shooting for last year in New Orleans.

Replays show that Undertaker did in fact tap out in the Kimura when the bell rang, which was due to Lesnar’s shoulders being down for a count, but the referee only got to one. Heyman declares Brock the winner by submission to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked the show, but this is the problem with having a four hour show the night after a two and a half hour show and the night before a three hour show. I was worn out from hearing Cole and JBL talk about stats and where Summerslam has been held over the years and how big this year’s show was about an hour into this and it just never stopped. That’s draining more than anything else and it’s not a good thing.

Now that being said, the show itself was indeed pretty good. This felt like an old school Summerslam until the last match, with a lot of mini feuds being blown off instead of doing anything major. There was more than enough good wrestling to go around and they’re ready to go into the fall as we get ready for Survivor Series and then Wrestlemania season.

Rollins retaining the title is a good idea as beating Cena is a big stepping stone forward for him. The Stewart stuff I can live with as it gives WWE some publicity, and they can set up some stuff off of the ending as well. The other stories mean it’s time for some new stories though and that’s the best thing that could happen right now. It’s a good show, albeit not very memorable. As I said though, this just didn’t need to be four hours and it really hurt things.

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Summerslam 2012
Date: August 19, 2012
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s that time of the year again and I can’t say I particularly care about most of the show. The main events here are HHH vs. Lesnar in a match that has taken WAY too long to get to, Sheamus defending against Del Rio in a match we saw last month with Sheamus winning, and Cena vs. Punk vs. Big Show in a match that Show flat out does not need to be in. I’m not that fired up about this show again but hopefully they pull something off. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: Santino Marella vs. Antonio Cesaro

Antonio is challenging and has beaten Santino twice I believe in the past few weeks. Santino takes him to the mat to start and works over the arm with an armbar. Cesaro misses a charge and it’s Cobra time but Antonio knocks Santino down and kicks the Cobra to the corner.

We hit the chinlock for awhile and the idea is now that the Cobra is in the corner and Santino needs to get to it. This isn’t exactly Jake Roberts but they’re trying at least. Cesaro rips the Cobra up and Santino gets all fired up. He fires off his usual stuff but misses the headbutt. The Neutralizer is countered and Santino has another Cobra. He loads it up but Aksana’s distraction allows Cesaro to hit him in the ribs and the Neutralizer gives Cesaro the title at 5:05.

Rating: D+. This was about what it should have been, stupid sock thing aside. There was only so much you could do at this point with Santino as champion so having him lose to Cesaro here was the right move. With all these new stars they’re pushing, they have to actually give a title to someone and Cesaro is as good as anyone else. Decent opener, but it kind of deflates the crowd before a show.

The opening video is about the 25 years of this show (even though there have only been 24 editions of it and WWE still can’t count) and the main events, mainly focusing on Lesnar vs. HHH of course.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho

Ziggler has pink sunglasses to go with the shirt now. Jericho is injured coming in and word on the street is that this is his last night or next to last night so that’ll likely come into play. The idea is that Jericho can’t win the big one anymore which is an interesting way to go. Ziggler runs to start but the old man chases him down and speeds thing up. Jericho slips on what I think was supposed to be a spinning crossbody coming out of the corner but it only gets two.

Ziggler gets knocked down again but he reverses a suplex and goes for the bad legs. Dolph tries to speed things up but gets backdropped to the floor for his efforts. Jericho loads up the springboard dropkick but Ziggler moves, sending Jericho crashing into the floor. Back in and Ziggler works on the ribs as you would expect him to do. After knocking Jericho down again he uses Jericho’s arrogant cover for two. That’s awesome stuff there.

A corner splash misses and Jericho dropkicks Ziggler to the floor. Back in and Ziggler charges into a boot followed by a double ax from the middle rope from Jericho for two. The Fameasser out of nowhere gets the same for Dolph and Vickie is freaking out. The Walls are countered but Jericho hits an enziguri for two. Jericho doesn’t seem like he’s selling the ribs at all here. The sleeper goes on out of nowhere but the Canadian escapes and puts Ziggler on the top.

In a cool spot, Jericho punches him in the head ten times while standing on the top rope before snapping off a top rope rana for a very delayed two. A jumping DDT out of nowhere gets two for Ziggler and now it’s Jericho in trouble. Jericho bulldogs Ziggler down but the Lionsault hits knees. Zig Zag gets two and the fans are getting into this. Ziggler goes to pick him up but walks into a Codebreaker, sending him to the floor. Vickie grabs Jericho’s foot as he throws Ziggler back in, giving Ziggler a small package for two. There are the Walls and Ziggler taps at 13:08.

Rating: B-. The selling in this was really getting on my nerves as Jericho didn’t seem like he wanted to sell at all. Based on this, I really hope Ziggler doesn’t cash in later to erase this match because it’s happened already. The match got better near the end but it wasn’t a masterpiece or anything. If the rumors of Jericho leaving soon are true, I don’t really get the idea of him beating Ziggler clean at all.

Time for a recap of Lesnar vs. HHH, this time being from Monday with Shawn getting his arm broken.

Heyman and Lesnar are in the back and Heyman says that tonight, it’s a fight to the finish, meaning the referee shouldn’t stop the match for anything. No word on if that’s the official rule or not.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

This is based off Bryan, Kane and Punk vying for AJ’s affections a few months ago. There was a month or so off in between there so the story didn’t quite follow up that well. Bryan tries to run from the monster to start but after the moonsault out of the corner, Kane slams him down and hits the low dropkick for two. There’s a big Daniel Bryan chant just before he gets his head kicked off for two. Bryan goes after the knee and kicks Kane to the floor where he hits the suicide shove, but Bryan might have hurt his shoulder. It seems to be ok though as Bryan hits a missile dropkick for one as he comes back in.

Kane starts his comeback with some corner clotheslines and a side slam for two before going up. Bryan escapes the chokeslam but gets uppercutted right down. For no apparent reason, Bryan punches Kane in the face and gets beaten down in the corner. It’s almost a DQ but Kane lets off because he’s mellow now. A kick to the arm looks to set up the NO Lock but Kane is too big and fried and freaky. The fans start driving Bryan crazy so his top rope headbutt is caught in the chokeslam for no cover. The tombstone is countered into a small package for the pin at 8:03 despite Kane’s arm clearly being off the mat.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but when you push the idea of this being a big deal of Bryan beating Kane, it might be better if they had had move than FOUR total matches (that’s ever, including a match on Raw like 3 months ago that Bryan won. This could have been the first hour main event on any given Smackdown.

Kane chases Bryan into the back and destroys Josh Matthews for talking to him.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio

Miz is defending because Rey beat him once on Smackdown ten days ago, which is all you need for an IC Title match at Summerslam. Rey is dressed as Batman for some reason. The blowup AWESOME balloons are back on the stage. Mysterio immediately grabs a rollup for two so Miz bails to the floor. AJ has tweeted that she’ll deal with Kane tomorrow night. Rey gets sent to the floor but he rolls through it to land safely. That was kind of cool.

An attempt at the sitout bulldog on the floor is countered by Miz throwing Rey into the barricade. Back in and Rey escapes a belly to back suplex into a cross body for two. Miz hits a kind of Abyss Shock Treatment for two which was a good looking move for him. Off to a cravate from the champion followed by the corner clothesline. Miz loads up his top rope ax handle but Mysterio crotches him to get a breather.

Rey heads up and hits the seated senton, only to get caught in a sitout powerbomb when he tries a rana. Rey kicks him in the head for two before countering a slam into a spinning DDT for the same. Rey ranas him off the top into the 619 but the top rope splash misses. The Finale is countered into a rollup for a very close two. And never mind as the Skull Crushing Finale retains the title for Miz at 9:13.

Rating: C. This was another decent match but it’s nothing that jumps off the page at you. Mysterio didn’t need to win the title here and Miz winning another match over a big name is certainly a good thing, but sweet goodness I did not care at all. The match came and went and most people didn’t care because there was almost no build at all. Nothing to see here although it wasn’t bad.

We’re roughly an hour into this and there’s nothing of note at all so far. It’s been the epitome of a meh show.

Eve and Teddy say nothing of note outside AJ’s office so Punk heads in to see AJ. After some exposition, Punk gets annoyed that AJ won’t respond to anything he says. He says he’ll retain the title tonight and AJ says nothing at all, nor does she move at all.

We recap Sheamus vs. Del Rio. Del Rio injured Sheamus’ arm before their match last month which Sheamus won clean. This month, Del Rio injured Sheamus’ arm before their match and then Sheamus stole his car. There’s nothing to this feud and no one seems interested at all in seeing it.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio

Feeling out process to start with both guys going for finishers early on. Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick, allowing Del Rio to kick Sheamus to the floor. Oh and Sheamus is defending. Del Rio sends him into the steps and it’s back inside for a chinlock. A neckbreaker is countered by Alberto into some kicks to the face for two. We’re only a few minutes into this and it’s already dull.

Del Rio pounds his own chest and shouts BROGUE but charges into a double ax from the champ. A charge into the corner hits post though and Del Rio takes over for all of a second. The shoulder missile from Sheamus is broken up and a Codebreaker to the arm from the top gets two. The armbreaker goes on out of nowhere but Sheamus powers out of it into a kind of powerbomb. White Noise gets two and it’s Brogue Kick time, but Del Rio hides in the corner.

That’s fine for Sheamus as he hits the ten forearms to the chest followed by some punches in the corner. Del Rio drops Sheamus face first into the buckle and the running enziguri gets two. Ricardo comes in for no apparent reason and loses a shoe as Alberto yells at him. Sheamus blasts him with it and hits an Irish Curse for the pin at 11:21 but Alberto had his foot on the ropes. Geez we have to sit through this AGAIN next month?

Rating: D. STOP PUSHING DEL RIO BECAUSE NO ONE FREAKING CARES ABOUT HIM! I like Sheamus but my goodness no one cares about this feud and now it’s going to go on ANOTHER month because WE WILL CARE ABOUT ALBERTO WHETHER WE WANT TO OR NOT. I’m so bored of seeing these two fight when it’ll be another arm injury for Sheamus before Del Rio finally gets the title you know he has to get. The wrestling was fine and the rating is probably low but dang man, give Sheamus ANYONE else to feud with.

Some soldiers are here.

HHH told the referee earlier to only end it on a pin or submission. Let them fight apparently.

We’re looking at Tweets from Shawn throughout the night.

Tag Titles: Prime Time Players vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

The Players are challenging despite losing clean to the champs on TV a few weeks ago. Truth is also injured coming in because that’s a running theme tonight. Truth and Young start things off and I guess Truth is ok after the emphasis they gave to him getting beaten down on Raw. Off to Titus who has a bit better luck, slamming Truth down and putting him in a front facelock. There’s the tag to Kofi and NO ONE reacts when he springboards in to attack O’Neal. Boom Drop hits but Young’s distraction breaks up Trouble in Paradise.

The challengers make Kofi chase them around the ring, which lets Titus clothesline Kofi down to take over. Darren puts on a chinlock followed by a powerslam for two. Titus hooks a quickly broken abdominal stretch but as he tries a spinning Rock Bottom, Kofi counters into a DDT. Off to Young vs. Truth and the fans don’t react again. Everything breaks down and Kofi dives onto Titus on the floor. Young gets two on a rollup on Truth before the Little Jimmy retains the titles at 7:07.

Rating: C. Why? Why in the world would you keep the titles on Kofi and Truth, who haven’t done jack with the belts in months. My only guess is because of AW, because clearly the Prime Time Players, a decent team in their own right, need to be punished for something their manager said. This show is getting worse and worse as it goes on and that’s not good.

We recap the events in LA before the PPV. Basically, BE A STAR!

HHH vs. Lesnar is main eventing. Is anyone really surprised by that?

We recap the triple threat match which is Cena vs. Punk vs. Show. Cena is there because Punk is tired of being overshaddowed by him and Show is there because we can’t just have Cena vs. Punk which is an interesting match and because we potentially need a fall guy for Cena to win the title without beating Punk.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. John Cena vs. Big Show

Cole gives the dreaded stats of Punk’s title reign, which are usually the kiss of death. Punk has pink trunks tonight which is a different look for him. Cole points out that Punk hasn’t main evented a PPV since December. Way to push your champion as a big deal there Cole/Vince. Then again that’s the idea of the angle but it doesn’t help much. Show takes them both down to start with his big man power offense and does the SHH chops.

Punk and Cena team up to beat on Show but he runs them over. Cole calls Punk and Cena an unlikely alliance. You know, because two guys against Big Show NEVER team up on him. The small guys finally put Show down but Punk can’t GTS him. Cena tries an AA but Punk breaks it up. Show takes over again and as you would guess, things slow back down. Cena gets knocked to the floor but Show misses a splash on Punk. The springboard clothesline is caught by Show and a slam gets no cover.

Show loads up the WMD but Cena goes after Show to break it up. Show spears Cena down for two and the small guys are down again. The Vader Bomb aimed at both only hits Cena but Punk saves the pin. Show and Cena go to the floor and the Big Bald catches Punk in mid suicide dive. He throws Punk into the ropes and heads back inside. Cena loads up his finishing sequence on Show to huge boos, only to get taken down by Punk.

Punk drops the elbow on Show for two. A kick to the head puts Show down and Punk throws on a Kofi Clutch but Show powers out again. Cena puts Show in the STF but more power escapes it for Big show. Cena’s middle rope cross body doesn’t work but the springboard clothesline from Punk puts him down. The running knee in the corner staggers Show but the bulldog is countered. Top rope Fameasser puts Show down and it’s a Koji Clutch and the STF at the same time for the tap.

Cue AJ who says restart the match. Show chokeslams both guys and gets two on both. Cena pops up and hits the AA on Show, but Punk throws him to the floor and pins Show to retain at 12:38 total.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here for the most part, but I’m glad Punk retained….I think. One thing: what in the world was the point in the restart? If you want to go with Punk stealing the pin then that’s fine, but why in the world do the whole AJ thing? Anyway, this probably leads to Cena vs. Punk in Boston at Night of Champions, which is what this show should have been. Still though, the match was just ok at best, just like every other match tonight other than the opener.

Fred Durst, Piers Morgan, Rick Rubin (music producer), David Arquette and Maria Menounos are here.

There was a WWE Film premiere last night. It’s called The Day, which is another in the long line of great titles from WWE Films.

We recap the pre-show match.

Time for the annual Summerslam concert as Kevin Rudolph performs Be A Star. I have never heard so much silence when a musician takes the stage Some Divas come out and dance with him. The announcers dance too. This just came and went.

Time for the BIG recap of Lesnar vs. HHH.

HHH vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock charges to start ala vs. Cena but HHH punches his way out of the arm. Brock gets the arm hold on and even jumps onto a standing HHH with it but HHH punches out of it again. A clothesline puts Lesnar on the floor and a jumping knee puts Lesnar down again. Lesnar gets sent to the floor for the second time and this has been almost all HHH in the first two minutes.

Lesnar gets back in and takes his gloves off. He takes HHH down with ease and blasts him in the back of the head, which is illegal in UFC. Out to the floor and Lesnar hits a hammerlock slam on the table. Back in and another hammerlock slam hurts the arm even more. Lesnar wraps the arm around the ropes as this is basically a regular match so far. The F5 is countered but Lesnar hits a big German suplex to take him down again. HHH grabs a DDT to slow Lesnar down but it’s right back to the arm hold.

That doesn’t last so it’s hammerlock slam #3 followed by HHH being sent into the steps arm first. They head to the announce table and Brock jumps off of it with a forearm to the back of the head/neck. Back in and Brock uses a freaking small package of all things for two. Lesnar clotheslines him down and the match slows down again. The Game grabs a suplex to finally get himself a breather and both guys are down.

The Pedigree is countered and HHH gets to do his fly over the corner bump. Out to the floor again and HHH sends Lesnar into the table to slow him down. Lesnar looks hurt, like legit hurt. It looks like his groin or ribs. Lesnar shouts about his stomach and things slow WAY down. Oh never mind he was apparently playing possum. If so that’s the best selling Brock has ever done.

HHH knees him in the ribs to escape the arm lock and does it again a few times for good measure. Spinebuster puts Lesnar down but the Pedigree is countered into an also countered F5. Pedigree hits on the second attempt but it only gets two. Lesnar hits HHH low but Armstrong (referee) won’t call the DQ as per HHH’s orders.

The F5 hits but only gets two, which only shocks about half the audience. The kimura (arm lock) finally goes on in full but HHH makes the rope….which means nothing here. HHH pounds out of the hold because that’s how tough he is or something. Out of nowhere HHH hits a second Pedigree but Lesnar no sells into the kimura. Lesnar cranks on it and HHH taps at 18:45.

Rating: B. Well, it’s safe to say they’ve lost the point of Lesnar already. This was a standard WWE main event style match with HHH getting in more offense in about 80 seconds than Cena got in through his entire 20+ minute match with Lesnar. Brock trying the arm hold about 10 times before getting it in good doesn’t make him look awesome or anything. It makes him look like someone with one move and no game plan at all aside from that. The match was good but when you go from Cena and Lesnar having a potential match of the year to this, it’s a pretty big letdown.

HHH gets to do the whole big “I don’t need medical help” stand up and walk out but the fans tell him he tapped out. They play it up like it’s his last match. Right.

Overall Rating: D+. This show wasn’t bad. It was the thing that’s far worse than bad: it was dull. The matches were all fine, but at the end of the day, pretty much nothing happened here. The only title change was on the preshow and it looks like we’re gearing up for more Sheamus vs. Del Rio next month, which is boring me to tears. Cena vs. Punk will be awesome but it could have been awesome here. The show wasn’t bad, but it was underwhelming. It’s a weak ending to a pretty good summer for WWE.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Summerslam 2011
Date: August 14, 2011
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17.404
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

This year has been all about the rise of CM Punk. In June he sat on the stage and ripped into John Cena and the WWE in general, leading up to the world title match at Money in the Bank in Chicago. Punk won the title in a masterpiece and then left the company as champion. Cena won the title from Rey Mysterio on Raw, but Punk came back with his title. Tonight it’s champion vs. champion for the undisputed title. Oh and Christian vs. Orton in the blowoff to the underrated feud of the year. Let’s get to it.

Adam Jones, some guitarist from Tool, plays the Star Spangled Banner. WE WANT MAN MOUNTAIN ROCK!

The opening video is about how Summerslam being where dreams are made. We shift to a shot of dominoes falling over. Punk talks about being the first domino being knocked over and starting a revolution. HHH is guest referee tonight because what would a major match be without him?

The theme song this year is Bright Lights Bigger City by Cee Lo Green. I usually don’t care for him but it fits the show well.

The Miz/Alberto Del Rio/R-Truth vs. Kofi Kingston/John Morrison/Rey Mysterio

Cole IMMEDIATELY freaks out over Miz being on Summerslam. Miz keeps talking about how awesome he is until Truth cuts him off. This was when Truth was insane so he complains about things that start with the letter S, like spiders, Summerslam, Cee Loo Green and Conspiracy. Del Rio is the Raw MITB winner. The fans are WAY into Del Rio here for some reason. Mysterio gets a title shot at Punk or Cena tomorrow on Raw. Miz and Kofi get things going and the fans are actually behind Miz as well. Kofi hits a nice monkey flip followed by a dropkick before bringing in Morrison.

A double clothesline puts Miz down and the good guys do stereo nipups in a nice visual. Off to Truth who is tackled by Morrison but comes back with right hands to the face. Truth sends Morrison to the floor as the announcers talk about wigs. Thankfully Booker is there to get us back to the action by shouting BACK TO THE ACTION! Miz comes in with a kick to the head and puts on a chinlock, only to have Morrison kick him in the head to escape.

Kofi comes flying in off the hot tag and cleans house with his barrage of high flying offense including a cross body to Miz for two. The Boom Drop gets two and everything breaks down. Kofi gets two off the SOS but Del Rio breaks up the pin. Miz hits a kind of Diamond Cutter face plant for two and it’s Kofi in trouble from the boots of R-Truth. Del Rio comes in with a belly to back suplex and mocks Kofi’s Trouble in Paradise hand slap.

Kofi kicks him away but Miz breaks up a hot tag bid. Cole lists off Miz’s high school accomplishments as Kofi flips out of a sunset flip and stomps on Miz’s ribs to put him down. Hot tag brings in Rey to face Truth who does his usual backflip/splits sequence, only to have Rey kick him in the head. Del Rio breaks up a double 619 so only Truth takes the kick. Kofi dives on Miz and Rey hits a top rope splash on Truth for the pin.

Rating: B-. Take six guys, give them ten minutes and let them have fun. It’s an idea as old as time and it’s still used to this day because it still works. The good guys can fire up any crowd with their high spots and the fans were into the match as a result. As mentioned earlier, Summerslam is great at having good openers and this was no exception.

Johnny Ace wants an apology from Punk over a kick to the head on Monday. Punk gives an over the top apology and Ace walks away. Punk turns around to see Stephanie who wishes him good luck. He makes fun of Vince and she wishes both Cena and Punk good luck. “But I’m just Vince’s clueless daughter right?” Punk: “Yeah pretty much.” She offers him a handshake but he knows where it’s been.

We recap Sheamus vs. Mark Henry. Henry is just starting the Hall of Pain run and has been destroying everyone in sight and breaking a lot of limbs. He stood tall in the ring until Sheamus came out and said three simple words: I’ll fight him. It turned Sheamus face and made him very popular due to the simple idea of standing up to a bully. THIS is how you book Sheamus: have him in there against some monster and taking a good fight to him, not slumming it with Damien Sandow and winning each match with ease.

Mark Henry vs. Sheamus

Henry takes him down with a clothesline to start but Sheamus comes right back with right hands. The pale one pounds away and actually knocks Henry down to his knees, only to be thrown to the floor. Henry EASILY throws Sheamus through the ropes and hits a splash for two. A running crotch attack crushes Sheamus’ neck but he’s in the ropes before the count starts.

A backbreaker puts Sheamus down and it’s off to an Argentinean backbreaker to complete the set. Sheamus powers out, only to be sent chest first into the corner. Henry misses a Vader Bomb though and Sheamus has a breather. A series of ax handles to the chest and head put Henry down followed by the forearms in the ropes. They clothesline each other down and we get a breather.

Back up and Mark runs into a boot in the corner, allowing Sheamus to go up for the top rope shoulder, good for two. The Brogue Kick misses though and a clothesline puts Sheamus down. Sheamus slips out of the World’s Strongest Slam and there’s the Brogue Kick to knock Henry to the outside. Sheamus follows him to the floor but Henry drives him into the post and through the barricade in a great crash, allowing Mark to beat the count for a countout win.

Rating: C+. This was another simple formula: take two big power brawlers and let them beat the tar out of each other for nearly the minutes. It’s also a smart ending as Sheamus gets to stay strong but Henry gets another win. Sheamus would get a countout win I believe at the next PPV so it evened out. Good, fun brawl here.

World Heavyweight Champion Christian says his match with Orton will be an epic summer blockbuster. He’ll be like Harry Potter, making magic at every turn. Orton will be like Cowboys and Aliens: a flashy flop. That movie was good though.

Trailer for Killer Elite which is probably sponsoring the show or something.

Here’s Cee Lo Green for the mini concert. He looks like he’s in big sparkly pajamas but the song isn’t bad so I’m not complaining much. The fans aren’t moving at all for this but the vocals are pretty bad so I can barely hear a word he’s saying. Now he throws in his bigger hit Forget You, complete with Divas in red dancing behind him.

Now here’s a Slim Jim ad. I’m sure the fans are LOVING this stuff.

Now a 7-11 commercial. My goodness get to something else.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

I could go for a Slurpee. Back to 7-11 it is! Kelly is defending. Beth and Natalya are the Divas of Doom here and don’t like the Barbies like Eve and Kelly. Kelly and those AWESOME little shorts of hers go after Beth and we get the screaming headscissors. Beth is knocked off the apron and Kelly dives off the middle rope to knock her to the floor. Back in and Kelly flips out of the corner and Beth clotheslines her down.

Kelly gets dropped throat first on the top rope for two Eve plays cheerleader. This is a lot of standing around with Beth glaring down at Kelly before hitting a running Umaga shot in the corner. We hit the chinlock followed by the second over the shoulder backbreaker of the night. Kelly finally slips out and hits a quick neckbreaker to put both of them down.

Beth sends her into the Tree of Woe for no follow up before getting two off a side slam. Kelly gets in a knee to the face and goes nuts on Beth, only to have the handspring elbow countered. The Glam Slam is countered into a victory roll for the pin, just like every time Kelly beat Phoenix.

Rating: D+. All things considered, this was something resembling a miracle. The match was nothing of note but Kelly actually didn’t embarrass herself out there. She got WAY better over the years, but at the end of the day she was out there because of how good she looked in those tiny shorts. It also says a lot that less than two years later only Natalya is left from this match.

Stephanie leaves Cena’s locker room for some reason.

Truth and….Jimmy Hart of all people talk about a c-o-n-spiarcy. Jimmy offers to manage him and Truth seems interested before he realizes that Hart is…..LITTLE JIMMY! Truth looks over to see Ron Artest (Metta World Peace) and his daughter in a worthless cameo.

BUY TWIX!

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

I like Barret’s End of Days theme a lot better than the God Save the Queen one now. This is MITB fallout as Bryan knocked Barrett off to win the case. Bryan has some slow music which isn’t all that bad, but soon he would go to Flight of the Valkyries which works far better for him. Bryan is rocking the white trunks with red trim here which are pretty awesome. Feeling out process to start with Barrett punching Bryan down to stop the wrestling part of the match.

Daniel takes it to the mat and spins out of a wristlock before dropkicking Wade down. Cole says Barrett is a submission master as Bryan does the AJ Styles drop down into a dropkick, right down to the same overblown drop down. Back up and Bryan hooks a dragon screw leg whip and a running dropkick in the corner for two. Another kick to the chest gets two and Bryan backflips over Barrett, only to charge into the Winds of Change for two. A slingshot belly to back backbreaker gets two for Wade and we hit a reverse chinlock.

Back up and Bryan hits a running clothesline but Wade comes back with a big running forearm to the face. Wade puts Bryan in the ropes and kicks him out to the floor before hooking a chinlock. The hold doesn’t last long again but Bryan ducks a boot and crotches Barrett on the top. A dropkick puts him on the floor and there’s the flying knee off the apron. Back in again and the missile dropkick gets a close two for the American.

Bryan escapes a pumphandle slam and fires off more kicks to the chest for two. Wade ducks a clothesline and hits a big boot to the face for two but Wasteland is countered into the guillotine choke. Barrett goes down and there’s the LeBell Lock but Wade gets into the ropes for the break. Daniel loads up a superplex but Barrett crotches him on the top rope. A middle rope clothesline takes Bryan off the ropes and Wasteland is good for the 100% clean pin.

Rating: B+. I REALLY liked this for one reason: it was a good wrestling match. It’s a basic story of one guy wanting revenge for a loss in a big match, it had a good story in the ring with a striker against a technical guy and the action was good. Wade Barrett is a guy who can go in the ring but he’s the ultimate jobber to the stars and I have no idea why when he can do this.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Christian. Christian won the title at Extreme Rules but Orton came over to Smackdown to replace Edge as the top guy. Orton won the title on his first night on the show, ending Christian’s title reign in less than a week. Christian wanted one more match, turning heel in the process.

Orton beat him again, but Christian some how got one more match and if Orton got disqualified, he would lose the title. For once, that actually worked and Christian won the title. Tonight, it’s the final match with no holds barred. These matches kept getting better and better and if Punk vs. Cena hadn’t happened it would have run away with feud of the year.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

Before the match, Christian brings out Edge to be in his corner to a HUGE ovation. After a full entrance, Edge says that he’ll never be cleared to wrestle again. When he first left, that made him happy because he was able to pass the torch to Christian. Edge didn’t think it was fair that Christian had to defend the title five days after a ladder match and Christian complained too.

Then he complained more and more and more and more. Then he wanted rematch after rematch and FINALLY he won the title back…..but he did it by disqualification. Yeah Edge did some bad things, but he did it with style. He didn’t hide behind lawyers and clipboards. Somewhere along the line Christian became a parody of himself. Edge didn’t know Christian would ever be like this, and that’s not good. Edge drops the mic, walks out, Christian freaks, and here’s Randy.

Remember this is no holds barred. Orton takes him into the corner and stomps him down before hitting a quick clothesline. Christian rakes the eyes and gets a quick one count off a middle rope elbow to the face. A backdrop puts Christian down and Randy stomps away but the champion chokes away on the ropes. Orton loads up the Elevated DDT but gets backdropped to the floor. Really back and forth so far.

Orton sends him head first into the barricade and loads up the announce table. The RKO is blocked and Christian grabs the belt before sprinting into the crowd. Randy catches up with him and stomps Christian down onto the concrete before heading back to ringside. Back in and Orton rains down right hands in the corner. Christian avoids a charge and sends Orton’s famously bad shoulder into the post to take over. The champion brings in a kendo stick to choke away before getting two off a back elbow.

Christian busts out a spinebuster for two and goes to the middle rope, only to be dropkicked out of the air. The powerslam puts Christian down again and now Randy gets the kendo stick. Instead of swinging though he catches Christian’s dropkick into a jackknife cover for two followed by the Thesz Press. Christian escapes the Elevated DDT into a Killswitch attempt but Orton counters into the backbreaker for two. The idea of this feud was that they knew each other so well and they would add another move to the string of counters every match. It was awesome.

Orton can’t hit the Punt but has to send Christian face first into the post to avoid getting crotched against the steel. Randy pulls out a pair of tables and slides one into the ring, only to have Christian drive him into the apron. Christian sets up the other table on the floor and they head inside where Orton superplexes him onto (not through as the table hasn’t been set up yet) the table for two. The table is set up in the corner but Christian counters the whip into the reverse DDT for no cover. Instead he loads up the spear but Orton jumps over and tries the RKO, only to be sent over the top and out to the floor.

Christian goes after him but is sent knees first into the steps to put him down again. Orton takes forever to set up the steps but gets sent face first into the steel again. Christian loads up the other announce table and blasts Orton in the head with the announce table. The champion tries an RKO through the table but gets caught in the real thing to destroy the table instead. Back in and Christian hits a quick Killswitch for two and Christian is furious.

The champion brings in a pair of chairs for the Conchairto but spits on Orton, causing Randy to move away. Now it’s Randy with the chair, cracking it over Christian’s back and knocking him off the apron through the table. Orton throws in some steps and trashcans before catching a charging Christian in a powerslam through the table in the corner.

Some HARD kendo stick shots to the back have Christian in even more trouble and the Elevated DDT crushes a trashcan. Christian tries one more rush but his sunset flip out of the corner is countered into the RKO (same move that gave Orton the title in the first place) onto the steps for the pin and the title.

Rating: A-. Much like the Undertaker vs. Edge Cell match a few years earlier, this was the perfect way to blow off a feud with Orton being the definitive winner. This feud did a great job of building upon itself with the extended sequences carrying over from match to match and building a deep psychology. Great match here and the whole feud is worth checking out.

Video on Axxess.

We recap Punk vs. Cena. As mentioned, Punk left with the title at Money in the Bank so there was a tournament held to crown a new champion. Mysterio won but lost the title to Cena the same night. Punk came out and held up his own belt, meaning we had two champions. This all happened in two weeks when it could have went on for months. The entire match is summed up with one idea: Cena doesn’t know if he can beat Punk. HHH is the new boss and is the guest referee tonight for no reason anyone not named HHH can figure out.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

Punk has more or less been turned face by the will of the crowd alone. Feeling out process to start with Punk grabbing a headlock and SHOUTING spots into Cena’s ear. Cena easily takes him down to the mat and slaps on a headlock. That gets him nowhere so Punk gets up and we have a quick staredown. Cena grabs a single leg and slaps on an armbar followed by a chinlock. Back up and Punk hits a quick leg lariat before hooking a chinlock of his own with a bodyscissors.

Cena powers out and hooks a quick fisherman’s suplex before hooking another chinlock. The fans chant Fruity Pebbles and WE WANT ICE CREAM as Punk gets up a quick big boot to the jaw. HHH hasn’t been a factor so far. A few knees to the ribs and a headbutt to the shoulder set up another bodyscissors from Punk as we’re barely in second gear nearly eight minutes into the match. Cena escapes again and they fight over a suplex off the apron. Neither guy can go anywhere so Punk kicks Cena in the head to knock him outside.

Back in again and Punk cranks on a neck lock but Cena stands up and suplexes out of it. Cena tries to speed things up but the shoulder block is caught by a knee to the head for two. The running knee in the corner misses and now Cena can initiate the finishing sequence, only to have Punk hit a knee to break up the Shuffle. CM tries a kick but gets caught in the STF, only to get to the ropes and counter the ProtoBomb into a downward spiral and a Koji Clutch.

Cena rolls out and puts on the STF but Punk slips in an arm to block most of the pressure before countering into the Anaconda Vice. Cena rolls out of THAT and tries the STF again but Punk crawls out before it goes on full. AWESOME sequence there as the gear has shifted hard. Punk backdrops him to the floor and hits the suicide dive but he bumps his own head in the process. HHH starts counting and gets to nine before going to the floor and throwing both guys back inside.

They slug it out back in the ring but Cena can’t hit the AA. Instead he busts out a GREAT dropkick and hits the Shuffle. The AA is countered again into a sunset flip for two followed by the high kick for two more. Cena escapes the GTS and hits a corner splash (?!?) and a sitout powerslam (that’s more like it) for two. The top rope Fameasser doesn’t get to launch as Punk hits the running knee to the head and the bulldog off the top for two.

Punk loads up another springboard but gets caught in the STF to put him in real trouble. He finally gets to the rope and pops up for a GTS attempt, only to be countered into the AA for a close two. The top rope Fameasser misses again and Punk grabs a quick GTS for two more. HHH still hasn’t been a major factor other than throwing both guys in. The Macho Elbow gets two and Cena goes into straight brawling mode but gets caught by another knee to the chin. GTS #2 connects and the three goes down but Cena’s foot was on the ropes before two.

Rating: B+. The match is good with that sequence in the middle being a big highlight but there’s one major problem for this match: it’s the sequel to Money in the Bank. That’s doomed so many matches over the years and while it didn’t sink this one, it certainly slowed it down a lot. Still though, good stuff here and definitely worthy of a major PPV main event.

Punk takes a victory lap around the ring but won’t shake HHH’s hand. The Game doesn’t seem too mad about it and raises Punk’s hand as the winner. HHH leaves, CM Punk poses, and KEVIN NASH comes in through the crowd and lays out Punk with a Jackknife. Cue Alberto Del Rio, briefcase in hand.

Raw World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

Kick to the head, Del Rio wins the title to end the show. This would turn into one of the stupidest and most ridiculous stories ever with Nash showing a text asking him to lay out Punk but it turned out he sent it to himself for one more moment in the limelight after a big fan reaction at the Royal Rumble. The end result of all this: HHH beating Nash and Punk.

Overall Rating: A. This is a GREAT show with some awesome matches and some great drama at the end. Now to be fair no one knew what the drama would lead to, but it blew my mind when I watched it at first. The rest of the show is awesome though with the worst match being the Divas. If the biggest torture I have to go through all night is looking at Kelly in those shorts and Eve looking gorgeous all dressed up, so be it. Great show here and well worth seeing.

Ratings Comparison

Kofi Kingston/John Morrison/Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/R-Truth

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

Original: C

Redo: C+

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: B

Redo: B+

Randy Orton vs. Christian

Original: B+

Redo: A-

CM Punk vs. John Cena

Original: A+

Redo: B+

CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: A

Ok the main event isn’t THAT good. I think we’re firmly at the point where my ratings are about the same for most matches.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/14/summerslam-2011-that-was-i-need-a-cigarette/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 2011
Date: August 14, 2011
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

It’s the biggest party of the summer. Wait that was another ad campaign. It’s Summerfest! No wait that’s a Piven botch. It’s Punk vs. Cena II. Well actually more like their 8^th match but the second PPV main event. Seriously that’s the extent of the hype for this show. There’s also Christian vs. Orton V or whatever but that’s really minor by comparison. There’s also a mini concert because those have worked oh so well before right? Let’s get to it.

The guitarist from Tool plays a rock version of the Star Spangled Banner. He’s no Man Mountain Rock.

The opening video is about how we’re in LA and LA is awesome. This is like the 4^th year in a row it’s been in LA. Might be three but still that’s a ton. There’s another video about how there’s a domino effect in the Punk vs. Cena war. That Bright Lights Bigger City song is growing on me a bit.

Here’s Miz to open the show and he’ll be in a six man tag. He first has something to say. Why am I not surprised? He says he’s returned to Summerslam and wants to thank the fans for insisting he competes tonight. Miz is cut off by Truth who talks about spiders. They start with the letter S, as does Summerslam. Singing also starts with an S and Cee Lo Green is singing tonight. You know what else starts with a C? CONSPIRACY!!! Del Rio cuts him off to save our sanity.

The Miz/Alberto Del Rio/R-Truth vs. Kofi Kingston/Rey Mysterio/John Morrison

Well they had to fill in the card with something. Del Rio gets a face reaction from the Hispanic heavy crowd. Kofi has white shorts now. Morrison, the hometown boy, gets NOTHING. We get a recap of Rey getting jumped by Miz on Monday. The rest of the feuds I think you know. The bell rings almost 15 minutes into the show. Miz vs. Kofi to start us off. There’s a Miz is Awesome chant.

Big monkey flip and a dropkick put Miz down. Off to Morrison and we get double flapjacks/double nipups. Nice fast paced stuff to start so far. Off to Truth vs. Morrison and Truth isn’t afraid anymore. There’s the springboard spin kick (Moonlight Drive I think? It’s the same one Cody uses for the most part) but it only gets two. The heels cheat (EVIL!) and send Morrison to the floor to shift momentum.

Off to Miz who hooks a chinlock which eats up some time. Morrison fights out of it with something resembling a Pele kick (ala AJ) and it’s warm tag Kofi. That cross body is SWEET. Miz takes him down and every heel not named Alberto works him over. Time for Kofi to imitate a long haired blonde guy from the 80s who thought he could sing named Morton for a good while.

We’re just waiting on the hot tag to Rey at this point. And yep there it is. The seated kick to Truth gets two. 619 is broken up and a second is as well. Rey makes up for that by hitting one to Truth and Miz at the same time. Everything breaks down and the faces all start diving like a broke boxer in Vegas. The ring is cleared and Rey hits the top rope splash on Truth for the pin at 9:30.

Rating: B-. Solid opener here which was very fast paced. That’s exactly what the opening match is supposed to be. You had to get a bunch of these guys on the show somehow and this is as good a way as any. I like these random tag matches because you combine feuds and manage to get a fun match too. Not everything needs to have some epic backstory to it to be a good match and this is proof of it. Good stuff.

Johnny Ace demands a public apology from Punk for getting kicked in the head. Well Ace is certainly annoying already so he’s doing his job. Punk mockingly apologizes and Ace leaves. Punk turns around and there’s the still hot Stephanie. She says HHH, Cena and Vince have all wished him good luck. He kind of says she’s brainless and she offers him a handshake anyway. “I would but I know where that hand has been.”

Recap of Henry vs. Sheamus which is basically about Sheamus being the only guy willing to fight Henry. That’s still a cool moment.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

I can’t imagine this going long. Sheamus gets in a few shots early on but then the beating begins. Henry hammers on Sheamus and we head to the floor where Henry gorilla presses Sheamus into the ring through the top and middle ropes. That was kind of awesome. Splash gets two. There’s a backbreaker and now an over the shoulder body vice.

The pale one fights out of it and manages to take Henry down for a moment. Emphasis on the moment aspect though as Henry takes him down again. The Vader Bomb misses though and Sheamus starts his comeback. A flying axehandle puts him on the mat and Sheamus starts dropping some knees. He fires off the forearms to the chest when Henry is caught in the ropes.

Sheamus hits the ropes and they collide, sending both guys down for a few seconds. The Irishman hits a top rope shoulder block for two. The cord is of course hot here because it’s LA and it’s a wrestling town. Sheamus pounds his chest but the Brogue Kick misses. Henry tries the World’s Strongest Slam but Sheamus counters and the Brogue Kick sends Henry to the floor. He’s out cold and dead weight now. Naturally since Sheamus is a face now he goes after him and is rammed back first into the post and then through the barricade which explodes. It’s a countout win by Henry at 9:20.

Rating: C. Well it’s Sheamus vs. Mark Henry. What were you expecting here other than power vs. power? This could probably lead to a gimmick match down the line which I wouldn’t be opposed to seeing. They backed themselves into a corner with the booking here though and it was pretty obvious that they weren’t going to do a clean ending here, which is understandable.

Christian is in the back with a big smile on his face. He has an insurance policy and the entire WWE is the beneficiary. Anything goes and we’re in LA, which means the match is going to be like a summer blockbuster like Harry Potter. Well that’s better than a Buff Blockbuster I guess. Oh Christian is Potter while Orton is Cowboys and Alience. I haven’t seen that yet so I can’t make a joke there.

Ad for some movie.

Time to kill off any momentum we had built up in the first 45 minutes with a performance by Cee Lo Green. Since one song wasn’t enough, here’s another with some dancing Divas. Well we’ve just lost 5 minutes of my life.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

Eve and Nattie are here as seconds. Kelly looking good in the tiny shite shorts and Beth in the blue skirt thing. Kelly uses speed to take over and does her gymnastics stuff. I can’t complain about an upskirt shot of Beth. Kelly dives off the middle rope to the floor. That looked decent. Beth remembers that she’s Beth Phoenix and she’s fighting Kelly Kelly so she gets a gorilla hot shot for two. Booker and Jerry as for a wardrobe malfunction. Off to a chinlock as Cole says he’s turned off by Kelly over some photoshopping thing.

Beth hooks an over the shoulder backbreaker but Kelly escapes into a neckbreaker for two. Kelly gets put in the Tree of Woe but escapes via gymnastics. This is kind of stop and go match. Kelly gets all fired up and slams Beth’s head into the mat a few times to come back. She looks spent though. Handspring elbow is caught into the Glam Slam and Kelly rolls through for the pin at 6:20. Yes, that just happened totally clean.

Rating: C+. Given what I was expecting, this was a miracle. It’s nothing great or anything but they tried out there. It’s pretty easily Kelly’s best match ever and that’s not covering a lot but they worked hard and it came off pretty well. I totally don’t get the ending but the plastic chick going over in Hollywood makes sense.

Stephanie comes out of Cena’s locker room.

Jimmy freaking Hart of all people is with R-Truth and says he needs a manager. Truth realizes something: JIMMY IS LITTLE! HE’S LITTLE JIMMY!!! Truth scares him off and talks about the conspiracy, yelling at Ron Artest and his daughter who are just chilling in the back for no apparent reason.

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

Mat stuff to start with Barrett in control. Booker talks about Bryan having his lunch today. We had breakfast talk on Friday and now this? Jerry calls Barrett a carnivore which is a decent enough line. SICK looking arm hold into a pin attempt by Bryan. Cole is way off tonight, calling Barrett the submission specialist and thinking Bryan was the carnivore Jerry was talking about.

Cross body gets two for Bryan. There’s a dragon screw legwhip which has Dusty Rhodes freaking out I’m sure. Running dropkick in the corner gets two and it’s surfboard time. Here come the kicks as Bryan channels his inner Rockette. Barrett gets a shot in and takes over again. This has been a match of varying streaks which is usually a formula for good stuff.

Barrett gets a slingshot (thing Blanchard) backbreaker for two and it’s off to a chinlock. The British dude keeps expanding his arsenal with a flying forearm for two. Oh and Bryan has a much shorter haircut now. Barrett gets sent to the floor with a dropkick and a running knee square to the head. That looked SICK. Back inside now and the pumphandle slam is countered into more kicks. Bryan is speeding things up and taking over now.

HARD kicks to the chest but Barrett won’t go down. Ok a big one to the head puts him down. I think he kicked the British out of him. Now Barrett takes over again and loads up Wasteland but Bryan elbows out of it and throws on the guillotine. That doesn’t work and it’s off to the LeBell Lock but Barrett makes the rope. I thought that was the end. This is getting some time too. They go up to the corner and Bryan gets crotched. Barrett gets a middle rope lariat to the crotched Bryan and now he loads Wasteland, which is enough for the clean pin at 11:45.

Rating: B. Match of the night here by far and it was good stuff. They went back and forth hard here and it let both guys showcase themselves really well. Bryan losing here is ok because he didn’t look bad at all. You can lose and not look bad and this is a great example of that. Good match here and I was way into it near the end.

The California National Guard is here.

We recap Christian vs. Orton. Basically Christian played up Orton’s anger management and got him to snap long enough to lose the title at Money in the Bank. Tonight it’s no holds barred. And remember Christian has promised a surprise insurance policy.

The champ comes out first which is odd. He has a mic and says he’s a man of his words. The insurance policy…..IS EDGE???? His haircut is a little weird but he looks about the same. A bit skinnier though which is expected. If I didn’t have to hit the gym every day I certainly wouldn’t.

Edge says that he’ll never be able to wrestle again but he was happy when he left because he was able to pass the torch to Christian. He thought the first defense against Orton was unfair but then Christian started complaining a lot. Christian did win the title back but he did it by disqualification. Edge did a lot of weak things but he did it with style and was never boring.

He didn’t hide behind suits and clipboards. No Edge you hid behind Vickie. Somewhere along the lines Christian became a disgrace to himself. Christian knows he’s better than that but now he’s just a whiner. With that, Edge leaves to a nice ovation. And heeeeeeeeere’s Randy!

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

No holds barred remember. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Opening slugout is won by Orton and he hammers the Canadian down in the corner. Christian gets that reverse guillotine thing of his and a jumping back elbow (love that move) gets two. Back body drop sets up the Garvin Stomp and a knee drop for two. They have a ton of time here.

The psychology is working here because they’ve had like 5 matches beforehand to get each others’ moves down, meaning the counters make a lot more sense. Elevated DDT is blocked into a backdrop to the floor. Orton loads up the table but the RKO is counter. Christian grabs the belt and heads into the crowd. The GM computer is there but it hasn’t been used in weeks.

Orton catches him in the crowd and hammers away. Back to ringside now and Christian finds a kendo stick to pound on Orton. He chokes away and shouts a lot and gets two. Christian charges at him in the corner and gets rolled up into a VERY close two count. Spinebuster gets two for the champion. Orton fires off a dropkick to block a kendo stick shot from the middle rope.

Randy is bleeding from the mouth a bit. He starts his finishing sequence and there’s the powerslam. Now he’s got the stick but Christian gets his feet up to break that up. Middle rope dropkick is countered into a jackknife cover for two for Randy. Thesz Press takes Christian down but Christian counters into the Killswitch. That is countered into the backbreaker for two.

Orton grabs some tables from under the ring but Christian spears him into the railing. Cole recaps the show in case someone is flipping through the PPV channels and wants to see if they’re watching the right show they bought I suppose. There’s a table set up at ringside and one in the ring not set up. Orton superplexes Christian onto the unset table but might have hut his tailbone. It only gets two anyway.

The table is already broken but Orton puts it in the corner anyway. Yes slap a cracked table with some of the legs already broken. Nothing could go wrong with that idea. Christian counters the toss into it and hits the reverse DDT. He loads up the spear but Orton jumps over him. RKO is countered and we go back to the floor. Christian goes into the steps and does a nice flip over them.

Now Christian puts Orton’s head into the steps so Randy is going to take a little nap now. Edge’s former brother but now his best friend for life because kayfabe is more powerful than blood drills him with the monitor and I think he says RKO. Christian tries an RKO but Randy has fought the Undertaker a few times so he counters into the RKO of his own and both guys are down.

The fans say this is awesome and they’re getting there. Back in the ring and Orton tries another RKO but Christian counters into the Killswitch for a LONG two. The fans thought it was over. The Spanish announcers are trying to get back on the air which is a funny visual. Christian has a chair now and make it a pair of them. It’s Conchairto time but Christian spits on Orton and takes FOREVER, allowing Orton to get up and crack Christian with the chair. The Canadian goes to the apron and a running shot to the head sends Christian through the table.

Orton still isn’t done as he throws everything he’s got under the ring. There are steps, kendo sticks, garbage cans and the table that is still up in the corner. Christian is on the steps trying to get a breather. Orton puts his foot on the champ’s head and tries a stomp but Christian moves. Powerslam puts Christian through the very end of the table, meaning the rest of it is still standing.

Now it’s stick time and Christian’s back takes a shot. The stick is already bent after two shots. There’s an elevated DDT onto the can. It feels like they’re just killing time for some reason. Orton goes into RKO mode onto the steps but Christian finds a kendo stick from somewhere. He tries to go off the ropes but jumps into an RKO on the steps, giving Orton his 9^th world title at 24:36.

Rating: B+. Definitely a good match but they’ve had a better one, probably at Over the Limit. The beating was really good and the ending was SICK. Christian was defeated here and that’s what he needed to have done. They’ll probably have one more blowoff match, hopefully in the Cell which is where this feud could go. After that one though, I don’t know if there’s a point. Still though, very good match that didn’t feel like it was 25 minutes, which is a good thing.

Video about Axxeess while they clear out the ring. There’s a lot of anti-bullying stuff there too. There are some uh….celebrities here I guess they’re called.

Stephanie is talking to HHH but we can’t hear what’s being said.

We recap Punk vs. Cena in the same video we’ve seen three or four times already. I think you get the idea of this already.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

HHH is guest referee and it’s champion vs. champion. This show has been very good so far but if this match is as good as it could be, it hits great. Cult of Personality is a sweet song. We go way old school with a weapons check. Punk is far more popular than Cena. Feeling out process to start. The jean shorts are officially classic. The dueling chants begin and it’s totally domianted by Cena Sucks.

The feeling out process continues and John takes Punk to the mat almost in an amateur style. Now the fans think someone can’t wrestle. This has nearly 40 minutes if need be so they can build very slowly. Cena grabs a chinlock but Punk grabs one of his own including a body vice. Booker is complaining about the technical stuff. Release fisherman’s suplex gets two for John.

We’re seven minutes into this and there hasn’t been anything big yet. Then again it’s not even 10:30 so it’s not like they have to get going immediately. Punk in control and he drops a headbutt and it’s back to the bodyvice. HHH has been pretty inconsequential so far. Cena tries the STF but Punk kicks him off. The crowd is all over Cena tonight. Dropkick knocks Cena off the apron.

Back inside and Punk gets in some kicks to the ribs. There’s an Earthquake for two. Cena fights up but gets caught with a running knee to the head with him against the ropes. He falls onto the mat and fights up into You Can’t See Me. Cena tries the STF but Punk counters into the hold called the Anaconda Vice (Koji Clutch) which is countered into a modified STF. Cole sounds bored out of his mind on the hold.

Punk counters into the real Anaconda Vice (called a keylock) but Cena counters into a Crossface (called a front facelock or something) but Punk gets a rope. Suicide dive takes both guys out. HHH starts the count and both guys are down at 9. Thankfully he stops the count and goes to get them, drawing a round of applause. He throws both guys back in and says let’s go.

Both guys get up and it’s time for the slugout. Cena grabs an AA attempt but Punk escapes, only to get taken down by a SWEET dropkick. There’s the Shuffle but the AA is countered into a sunset flip which is countered into a jackknife cover which is countered into a backslide which is countered into a bridge and a kick to the head for two. AWESOME sequence!

GTS is countered and Cena hits a corner splash. Sitout powerslam gets two as this is getting awesome very quickly. Punk breaks up the top rope Fameasser with a running knee to the head (very popular move anymore) and a bulldog gets two. Punk tries the springboard clothesline but Cena counters into the STF but Punk grabs a rope. The fans are into it but they’re waiting on the HHH stuff I think.

AA is countered into the GTS which is countered into the AA for two. Cena complains to HHH but HHH says it was two. Cena goes up and gets HUGE air on the Fameasser but misses, crashing into the mat and possibly hurting his leg. GTS gets two and Punk is stunned. Punk goes up but is very tired. With a point to the air he drops an elbow for two. That made me smile. Punk’s face is great as he’s shocked.

There’s a Randy Savage chant which is the right idea. Cena grabs a rollup for two and Cena is all fired up. He punches away but Punk grabs a kick to the ribs and another knee to the head. GTS (hit the arm) gets three but Cena’s foot is on the rope. Chant with me: DUSTY FINISH! The pin went down at 24:30.

Rating: A+. It’s not as good as MITB but to call this less than a perfect grade would be unfair. They beat the tar out of each other and had some incredible chemistry as always. These two just have it and there’s no way to teach that. It worked perfectly and the whole thing was great. Cena was all over the place here, trying to prove how well he could work and that’s what he did here. Great match but great in a different way than last month, which is a good thing.

Punk is all happy post match but won’t shake HHH’s hand. HHH holds the arm up and leaves. Of all people KEVIN NASH is in the ring and beats up Punk, leaving him laying with a Jackknife. IT’S ALBERTO!!!

Raw World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

Running enziguri and Del Rio is champion!!!!!!! He celebrates and we’re done. WOW.

Overall Rating: A+. I liked it better than MITB I think and that’s saying a whole lot. There isn’t a single bad match on the whole card as even the Divas were impressive. Great show here with a great pair of main events to end it. This has been an AWESOME summer and a lot of it has been spearheaded by Punk and hopefully it’s not going to end. The ending is great as we have questions, a great match and a new champion. Definitely worth seeing and it’s great for different reasons than MITB, which is a great sign. Great show and the best two show streak for WWE in years.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: March 16, 2007
Location: Sovereign Bank Arena, Trenton, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

I’m really not sure what to expect here and I kind of like that feeling. Last week’s Smackdown was a complete success with a pair of gems in Undertaker vs. Finlay and Kane vs. Batista. If they can come close to that this week, they are going to be in fine shape as they round the turn towards Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Batista to get things going (while rocking the heck out of a suit) on MizTV. Miz sucks up to Batista for the sake of not being ripped in half and brings out the latest WWE Magazine. There is an interview in here where Batista said that he was unstoppable, but Undertaker is the one who is really unstoppable. Miz thinks Undertaker could come out here right now and take Batista apart. The lights go off but pop back up and Miz laughs because he paid some guy in the back to turn them off. Batista finds if funny and shakes Miz’s hand….but he doesn’t find Miz funny. Destruction ensues.

Ashley and Kane are going to be on Smallville. I remember that episode.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Matt Hardy

Feeling out process to start with Kennedy not looking all that worried. Hardy takes him down with a hammerlock but gets sent into the corner for his efforts. That earns Kennedy a running clothesline and they crash out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Kennedy grabbing a cravate to keep Hardy in trouble.

Hardy fights up but the corner bulldog is shoved away, allowing Kennedy to hit a chop block. The leg is slammed into the apron and some knees to the knee keep Hardy in trouble. A clothesline gives Kennedy two and the Indian Deathlock goes on. Hardy turns it over (Does that hurt?) and Kennedy has to grab the rope for the break.

Kennedy is fine enough to go up and miss the Kenton Bomb, allowing Hardy to strike away. The Side Effect gives Hardy two and Kennedy’s rollup, while grabbing the rope, gets the same. Another Regal Roll is countered into the Twist of Fate to give Hardy the fast pin out of nowhere.

Rating: B-. This was a longer match and it’s weird to see Kennedy getting pinned clean. Kennedy worked over the leg for a good chunk of the match and then but Hardy worked through it until he could win in the end. That’s a story that works well for both guys and Hardy winning reminds you that he is actually pretty good around here.

Post break, Kennedy says that he’s still winning Money in the Bank.

MVP vs. El Grande Latte

Non-title, as Latte’s Honduran Heavyweight Title isn’t on the line. Cole brags about winning his Little League championship as MVP dismantles the rather thin Latte. Ballin connects and MVP ties him in the Tree of Woe to stomp away. The Playmaker finishes for MVP in a hurry.

Post match, MVP reiterates his challenge to Chris Benoit for Wrestlemania. MVP lists off some of the great US Champions and says he has more style than Ric Flair and more skill than Harley Race. He’s living the American Dream too as the poor boy from Miami, but maybe Chris Benoit isn’t hearing him. Maybe we should change his name from the Crippler to the Coward. Cue Teddy Long to say the match is on and here is Benoit to start the brawl.

This Monday: John Cena vs. Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels vs. JBL. Cole isn’t convinced but JBL says he has something planned.

Melina/MNM vs. Ashley/Brian Kendrick/Paul London

Mercury (now without the mask) headlocks Kendrick to start but it’s quickly off to London to work on the arm. Enough about a match with half the people involved being champions though, as it’s time to talk about Vince McMahon and Donald Trump. The women come in and stare at each other before handing it back to Kendrick and Nitro. Everything breaks down and a double dive to the floor takes MNM down.

Back in and Melina gets in a cheap shot to the ribs and it’s a reverse chinlock with a knee in the back to keep him down. Nitro grabs the cravate and it’s back to Mercury to stay on him with some right hands. A double belly to back faceplant gets two on Kendrick and we’re off to a chinlock. Mercury goes after Ashley but the distraction allows the hot tag to London. Everything breaks down and Melina gets in a cheap shot on Ashley, leaving London to walk into the Snapshot for the pin.

Rating: C. The women might as well have been on the outside here but I get the concept at least. I’m not sure how bad it is going to be for Ashley to be in a title match at Wrestlemania but the fact that she was barely active here isn’t the most encouraging. The guys could probably work this match in their sleep, but London and Kendrick haven’t been around much as of late so there wasn’t a ton of energy to the whole thing.

Video tribute to Ernie Ladd.

Maryse welcomes us back to the show.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell are not happy that he has to wrestle the Undertaker tonight. Finlay comes in looking for Hornswoggle but they don’t care about him. Hold on though, as Booker asks Finlay for advice against Undertaker. Finlay: “RUN!” The guys leave and Hornswoggle appears, carrying a pitcher of beer. He wishes Sharmell a Happy St. Patrick’s Day and asks for a kiss, sending her running off screaming. Well that was creepy.

Celebrities pick Vince McMahon vs. Donald Trump.

Long video on the Trump vs. McMahon contract signing.

Daivari vs. Kane

Kane’s entrance cuts off Daivari’s rant so we’re starting fast. The destruction doesn’t take long as Kane knocks him into the corner and hammers away with the variety you would probably expect. The choke shove sends Daivari out through the ropes and it’s a chokeslam onto the steps. Then Kane grabs the hook chain and ties Daivari up, which I think is enough for the no contest.

Post break Kane drags Daivari backstage and seemingly into the boiler room.

Mr. Fuji Hall of Fame video.

Undertaker vs. King Booker

Batista is on commentary. Booker actually wins an early slugout but the advantage doesn’t last long as Undertaker punches him into the corner. They’re on the floor in a hurry with Booker going face first into the steps. Back in and Old School is broken up, allowing Booker to drop him with a running forearm. A big boot takes Booker down just as fast for two and now Old School can connect.

Undertaker’s running DDT gets two and it’s time for the slow rights and lefts in the corner. As Undertaker clotheslines him outside, JBL says that Batista is better than King Kong Bundy and Giant Gonzalez. Undertaker makes the mistake of stopping to glare at Batista though and Booker gets in a cheap shot as we take a break. Back with Booker hitting a side slam for two and grabbing a chinlock. That’s broken up and Undertaker pulls him outside to start the brawling again.

They get back inside with Booker kneeing away to block a superkick and we hit the front facelock. Booker hammers away but Undertaker does it a bit better, setting up Snake Eyes into the big boot. Undertaker hits the jumping clothesline but Booker is back with the jumping side kick for two. Back up and the Undertaker tries the Last Ride, only to get jumped by Finlay for the DQ.

Rating: C+. These two beat each other up and that’s all you can ask for here. Well maybe save for Undertaker getting the pin, as it isn’t like Booker losing to Undertaker is going to derail him. Booker was actually working harder here and it was a harder hitting offense than usual this week. Good match, but the ending was a bit weird.

Post match the brawl is on with Undertaker getting the better of things, including throwing Finlay into Batista. Undertaker walks up the ramp as Batista is livid to end the show. This has been a really well built story so far and I want to see these two fight.

Overall Rating: C+. This wasn’t as good as last week, but that was a pretty high ceiling to reach. What matters here is they are making Wrestlemania look good and none of the recent shows have been awful. If they can keep that momentum up for the next two weeks, Wrestlemania might be even better than it seems, which would be rather impressive. Another good show this week.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 9, 2021
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s a homecoming of sorts for Raw as they are back in the original Thunderdome about a year after they arrived in the first place. We are less than two weeks away from Summerslam and while most of the card is set, there are still a few adjustments that need to be made. Now just don’t have a horrible show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is the returning Randy Orton (now looking like Dexter Lumis with the mustache) to a heck of a face reaction. Orton grabs the mic but here’s Riddle to cut him off. Riddle is REALLY happy that Orton is back because now they can be a team again. Riddle wants to know where Orton has been because his stepdad left like that too and never came home. Orton asks why Riddle thinks Orton wants to be a team with someone as goofy as Riddle. He talks about how ridiculous Riddle is, prompting Riddle to ask if that means Orton doesn’t want to team with him.

Cue Omos and AJ Styles, with AJ talking about how Orton is a snake and of course he’s done with the team. AJ keeps going until Orton cuts him off, saying the only thing bigger than AJ’s ego is this jackass right here next to him. The challenge is thrown out for tonight and Orton uppercuts AJ. The RKO to Omos is swatted away and Riddle’s attempt doesn’t go much better. A chokeslam (and not a good one) leaves Riddle laying and Orton walks away, with Riddle staggering behind him.

We look back at Drew McIntyre wrecking havoc with his sword (Angela) last week.

Baron Corbin, here via the Brand To Brand Invitational, is still down on his luck and is basically homeless. Then Jinder Mahal called him with an offer for money if he can take out Drew McIntyre. Yeah McIntyre could cut his head off with the sword, but it’s risk vs. reward.

Drew McIntyre is ready to beat up Corbin tonight because he once saw Corbin take a man’s money and his dog.

Baron Corbin vs. Drew McIntyre

Graves: “I tried to Venmo Corbin money this weekend but his phone was out of minutes.” Corbin looks defeated to start and Drew sends him into the corner. A suplex into a clothesline sends Corbin outside, where McIntyre sends him hard into the barricade. Back with Corbin hitting a superplex but the under the ropes clothesline is cut off with the Glasgow Kiss.

McIntyre snaps off the belly to belly into the neckbreaker….but McIntyre grabs the mic. McIntyre says he feels sorry for Corbin and wants to do something nice for him. How much would it cost to get him a meal, a bed and a shower for a few days? Corbin says $100,000, which McIntyre says is reasonable. How about $200,000? $300,000? It turns into the Claymore countdown so McIntyre can kick his head off for the pin at 9:48.

Rating: C+. See what happens when you try something new with a character? Corbin was one of the least interesting people around because he was doing the same things every week. Now they’ve mixed it up a bit and things are that much better because they’re actually trying something. Granted I’d bet that it was Corbin’s idea because WWE creative isn’t creative, but I’ll take what I can get.

Post match here are Jinder Mahal and company but McIntyre grabs the sword to hold them off.

Riddle comes up to Orton and says if they can’t be a team, can they at least be friends? Orton can’t mean that. Of course he does, and don’t call him bro. There’s your weekly Airplane reference.

Karrion Kross vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title. Kross goes aggressive to start and knocks Hardy outside. That earns him a toss into the barricade though and they head back inside, only to have Kross knock him off the top. We take a break and come back with Hardy hitting the legdrop between the legs (Graves: “All these years, I’m still not sure how that move is legal.”), followed by a middle rope splash for two. Hardy’s rollup (with trunks) gets two but Kross pulls him into a hard Doomsday Saito. The Krossjacket Choke makes Hardy tap at 8:01.

Rating: C-. What does it say that it’s a breath of air to not have Kross, the reigning NXT Champion and the kind of guy that WWE would love to push, lose to Jeff Hardy? The match went as it should have and they teased a near fall more than once. At least Kross won, but I’m still more than a bit scared for his future.

We recap Alexa Bliss tormenting Eva Marie.

Video on RKBro. These two are still great together and deserve the music video treatment.

Riddle is depressed, but he’s still a stallion so he’ll get through it.

Alexa Bliss vs. Doudrop

Lillie is here with Bliss, meaning it’s a WE WANT WYATT chant, which is mysteriously cut off. Eva Marie is here with Doudrop, who runs Bliss over to start. A choke doesn’t do much good for Bliss, who gets sent outside. An Eva Marie distraction lets Doudrop jump Bliss from behind and they head inside. Doudrop runs Bliss over….but we go to a closeup of Lillie, who winks at Doudrop. The fear allowing Bliss to grab a rollup pin at 3:35.

Rating: F. But NXT is the show that is a complete failure and needs an overhaul. Doudrop just lost to a lame special effect and I think Bliss is supposed to be the face in this mess. Raw now has its own Twilight Zone angle because this is somehow better than Alexa Bliss being….anything else apparently.

Sheamus doesn’t want Miz and Morrison to screw up and it’s a staredown over the Drip Stick.

Ricochet vs. Sheamus

Non-title and Ricochet starts fast by sending Sheamus outside. Back in and Sheamus runs him over into a quick chinlock. Ricochet fights up and sends him outside again, this time (after a slight delay for balance gathering) for a heck of a springboard crossbody onto the announcers’ table.

Back with Sheamus working on an armbar as an excuse to grab Ricochet’s face. Ricochet gets up and manages to head to the apron for the springboard clothesline into a heck of a Lionsault for two. For some reason Ricochet tries a middle rope headbutt but crashes into the mask to knock himself silly. The Brogue Kick finishes Ricochet off at 10:35.

Rating: B-. Questionable logic from Ricochet aside, this was a good back and forth power vs. speed match, which is going to work every time. Sheamus might not be the biggest star in the world, but he is just about perfect in this role: he can be cowardly, but he can also hit people really hard. Ricochet….I’m not sure if he makes it to the end of August, but if he winds up getting cut, someone is getting a heck of a star.

Post match here is Damian Priest to get in Sheamus’ face. Sheamus back off and his attempt at a cheap shot gets him sent to the floor. Cue Miz and John Morrison and it’s a staredown in the aisle with Sheamus.

Damian Priest vs. John Morrison

Miz is here with Morrison, who takes Priest down for a headlock to start. Priest fights up and blasts Morrison in the face over and over. The Broken Arrow is countered and it’s a movie martial arts style scene until they both hit kicks to the head for a double knockdown. Morrison sends him outside for a corkscrew crossbody and they head back inside. Priest gets in a kick to the head and, after no selling the Drip Stick, hits the Reckoning for the pin at 4:26.

Rating: C-. Another match which came and went, but it seems we are getting Priest vs. Sheamus for the US Title at Summerslam, which is certainly a good thing. Priest needs to be built up and that has seemingly been the endgame of Sheamus’ title reign the entire time. Letting him be the bull until someone stands up to him and takes the title makes sense, so let us see what he can do for Priest.

Post match Priest goes after Morrison and sprays him with some Drip Sticks. Priest turns to Miz…who pops to his feet and runs off. Now Priest has something to say to Sheamus, who comes out to say Priest needs to say this to his face. Priest issues the challenge for the title at Summerslam and Sheamus says it’s on. Morrison tries to run in and gets kicked in the face, with Priest saying that’s what’s coming for him at Summerslam.

Mansoor gets Mustafa Ali a special jacket to make up for last week’s loss. Ali likes it but says he would rather have Mansoor learn. That’s what he needs to do tonight: watch and learn.

Mustafa Ali vs. T-Bar

Mansoor and Mace are here too. T-Bar sends him flying with a backdrop to start but Ali comes back and sends him outside. The dive is pulled out of the air though, setting up a heck of a toss into the barricade. Back in and a backbreaker gets two but Ali’s foot is on the ropes. The chokeslam is countered and Ali hits the tornado DDT, only to get crotched on top. Feast Your Eyes finishes Ali at 3:04.

Rating: C-. What the heck happened to Ali? He is crazy athletic and can cut good promos with an interesting backstory but he’s here in this worthless story. I don’t know if they’re setting up some big moment for Mansoor in Saudi Arabia or what, but it would be nice to see them doing something that isn’t so lame.

Reggie is doing a photo shoot when Akira Tozawa and R-Truth, in costumes, come after him. Reggie Parkours his way to freedom and escapes. This joke really needs to be retired already.

AJ Styles doesn’t care that Randy Orton is back because he is a champion who deserves respect. Orton made a colossal mistake so tonight, they need to break Randy just like Riddle’s scooter.

Here are MVP and Bobby Lashley for a chat. MVP recaps last week with Goldberg defending his son from him, which was a huge mistake. If Goldberg has to defend his son, maybe the son shouldn’t be here. After Summerslam, Goldberg will have all the time in the world to be with his son because Bobby Lashley is taking him out. Lashley says that at Summerslam, Goldberg isn’t next, because he’s done.

We recap Nikki Ash beat Charlotte last week.

Rhea Ripley is ready for Nikki tonight and to get the title back at Summerslam.

Nikki knows she might lose but she is ready to believe in herself. She is going to retain her title at Summerslam, even if her dream might turn into a nightmare.

Nikki Ash vs. Rhea Ripley

Non-title and Nikki has banged up ribs. Nikki headlocks her down to start but gets faceplanted in a hurry. Ripley sends things outside and Nikki goes ribs first into the apron. We take a break and come back with Ripley planting her down again and hammering on the ribs. A flapjack is countered into a DDT though and both of them are down. Nikki rolls her up for two and counters the Riptide into a crossbody for two. Ripley catches her on top but the superplex is broken up, only to have Charlotte come in to shoves Nikki down for the DQ at 9:20.

Rating: C. The match was starting to cook but then it was Charlotte coming in to be the big monster. I can go with the idea of neither of them losing because they both need to win something. However, maybe it would be better if we weren’t at the point where the champ and former champ both need to avoid losses so desperately.

Post match Charlotte takes out Ripley with Natural Selection. Charlotte holds up the title, because she is smarter and better than everyone else.

We get an Elias video, showing flashbacks to his battles with Jaxson Ryker. Then he burns his guitar and says WWE stood for Walk With Elias, but Elias is dead. Ok then.

Charlotte laughs at people who think she is done and promises to win the title back at Summerslam.

Randy Orton is ready for AJ Styles.

Randy Orton vs. AJ Styles

Omos is here with Styles. Orton takes him down to start and gets in the big stomp before sending Styles outside. An Omos distraction lets AJ send him into the apron though and there’s the slingshot forearm to send us to a break. Back with Orton fighting out of a chinlock to start the slugout. The powerslam and backbreaker get two each but Orton comes up favoring his knee.

After blowing a kiss to Omos, Orton loads up the top rope superplex but AJ slips between the legs and pulls him down. The Calf Crusher goes on, sending Orton straight to the rope. The hanging DDT plants AJ but Omos offers a distraction to break up the RKO. Cue Riddle to post and choke Omos, who drives him into the post for the break. The Phenomenal Forearm is countered into the RKO to give Orton the pin at 11:19.

Rating: B-. The ending alone boosts this one up as that was a heck of a finish. Orton got a heck of a face reaction here and that isn’t a surprise given how long he was gone. It helps that he wrestles a style that can change so quickly and that was on display here. Good match, with the post match stuff with Riddle likely to make it even better.

Post match Orton yells at Riddle for coming out here but Riddle wants a hug. Orton tries to leave but eventually gives in to the hug. The fans love it and they pose….until the RKO lays Riddle out. Yeah you knew it was coming, but I’m not sure if that was the team breaking up (assuming they were a team in the first place).

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling was pretty good for the most part but this show was boring. It set up or advanced things for Summerslam and did some character development, but it was such a long show that I was losing focus by about the halfway point. That being said, this show only had one really stupid part and that means they tightened things up at least for this week. There are still parts that need fixing and the show still needs a huge overhaul, but things have been slowly crawling back over the last few weeks. It’s really, really, really slow progress, but it’s progress.

Results
Drew McIntyre b. Baron Corbin – Claymore
Karrion Kross b. Jeff Hardy – Krossjacket Choke
Alexa Bliss b. Doudrop – Rollup
Sheamus b. Ricochet – Brogue Kick
Damian Priest b. John Morrison – Reckoning
T-Bar b. Mustafa Ali – Feast Your Eyes
Nikki Ash b. Rhea Ripley via DQ when Charlotte interfered
Randy Orton b. AJ Styles – RKO

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Smackdown
Date: March 9, 2007
Location: Tuscon Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Wrestlemania is less than a month away and the only story that matters around here is Batista vs. Undertaker. That’s more than enough to carry a show but it could make for some fairly rough Smackdowns on the way there. Both guys are in action tonight though and we could be in for a good one. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long video on Undertaker and Batista, who have called each other out over and over. Tonight, they’re both in the building for the first time since No Way Out.

King Booker vs. Matt Hardy

No entrance for Booker and Queen Sharmell is on commentary. Cole explains that this match is about “establishing dominance” going to Wrestlemania. Seems like a building momentum situati….and Cole says that too before I can even get it out. They trade right hands to start until Hardy pulls him into a headlock takeover. Booker is sent outside for a slingshot dive and we take an early break.

Back with Booker working on the arm with Sharmell screaming a bit. A spinning kick to the face drops Matt for two but he reverses a suplex into a pretty sloppy looking one of his own. Hardy grabs a Russian legsweep for two and the middle rope elbow to the back of the head has Booker down again. Sharmell offers a distraction but Booker misses the kick to the head. Instead, Booker blocks the Twist of Fate, allowing Sharmell to hit Matt with a shoe. The ax kick gives Booker the pin.

Rating: C. You might have expected a bit more than this from these two as it just wasn’t very good. That’s kind of the problem with the matches building towards Money in the Bank though: they couldn’t figure out if this was about building momentum or establishing dominance and the match was messy as a result. I’m sure this will make all the difference in the world at Money in the Bank though, as commentary promised it mattered.

Batista, after watching a video on the Streak and hitting on Kristal a bit, promises to break the Streak and retain the title. As for Kane tonight, it’s time for a Wrestlemania preview.

Maryse welcomes us back to the show.

We recap the long guest referee announcement from Raw with Steve Austin as the big reveal.

MVP comes in to see Teddy Long and calls Kristal a chicken head. Long: “I don’t appreciate you calling Kristal a chicken head.” Anyway, the point is that MVP didn’t get pinned in last week’s Money in the Bank qualifying match so he wants a US Title shot at Wrestlemania. Long will consider it.

Kane says Batista has no idea how right he was when he called Kane sick, demented and twisted.

Kane vs. Batista

Non-title. Kane actually wrestles him down to the mat to start (that’s some sick, demented and twisted amateur grappling) but Batista is back up with a clothesline in the corner. Some hard shots to the face put Batista down in the corner for some boot choking but he comes back with a DDT for two. We take a break and come back with Kane being knocked outside, where he takes over with more right hands.

Back in and Kane grabs a bodyscissors of all things to keep Batista in trouble. A knee to the back stays on the ribs, which are then bent around the post. The kneeling bearhug goes on and some forearms to the back cut off the comeback attempt. Kane kicks him in the side of the head but the top rope clothesline is knocked out of the air. The cover is countered (you don’t see that every day) with a grab to the throat but Batista’s own kick to the head gets two.

A side slam gets two on Batista and now the top rope clothesline connects for two more. The chokeslam is reversed into the spinebuster but the Batista Bomb attempt is driven into the corner. Kane gets two off the chokeslam and the elbow pad comes off in frustration. Since Kane has never seen an Undertaker match, he rains down right hands in the corner, only to be reversed into the Batista Bomb for the pin.

Rating: B. This was the power match that these two should have had and it worked well. Kane worked on the back to take away the power but then got stupid in the end to cost him. I liked this more than I was expecting to as they set up a logical story (Batista gets a Wrestlemania preview/warmup) and they over delivered. Good stuff.

Video on Bobby Lashley’s troubles with Vince McMahon over the last few weeks.

Celebrities pick Vince vs. Trump. John Travolta still has no idea what he’s being asked about.

It’s time for the FIRST EVER MizTV, with Miz sitting on the mat between the chairs to introduce the show. He needs a hot, smoking guest to start so here is Ashley. She is rather excited about the Playboy release on Monday….and here is Melina to interrupt, with Miz announcing her as the other guest (See? He wasn’t being stupid by sitting between the chairs. Just being polite.).

Melina doesn’t like the attention that Ashley is getting for taking her clothes off because the only man who gets to see Melina like that is Johnny Nitro. Ashley: “That ain’t what I heard honey.” The Wrestlemania title match is set up in a hurry and the catfight is on with Ashley standing tall.

Kane, still tired from his match, doesn’t like being asked about a comparison between Undertaker and Batista at the moment. Great Khali comes in and lays Kane out with some headbutts, busting Kane open in the process. Khali rams him into a metal fence to leave him laying. That looked good and Khali looked even more like a monster than usual.

Mr. Kennedy vs. CM Punk

Before the match, Kennedy promises to win Money in the……Bank. They fight over headlock control to start until Kennedy hits him in the face and bails to the floor. The annoyed Punk charges outside and gets clotheslined down to put Kennedy in control early. Back in and Kennedy stomps away in the corner as commentary goes over Kennedy’s wins over World Champions. Punk’s running knee in the corner is countered into a toss over the top and we take a break.

Back with Kennedy hammering away and grabbing a cravate as the CM PUNK chants start up. Punk fights back, including the leg lariat for two and a whip to send Kennedy shoulder first into the post. Now the running knee can connect to set up the bulldog out of the corner but Kennedy knocks him off the ropes to tie Punk up. A hanging neckbreaker, with a quick camera cut in the middle, finishes Punk.

Rating: C. Kind of a slow paced match here and Punk lost in a hurry. That being said, Kennedy was a much bigger star at this point and shouldn’t be losing to just about anyone, especially as his star seems to be rising even more. I’m not sure I would have had Punk losing either, but he hasn’t been doing much of late either.

Finlay isn’t scared of the Undertaker because he is all grown up. He isn’t afraid of the dark, death or the Undertaker. Who cares if Undertaker wants to take him to h***? He’s Irish, so he has already been there.

Finlay vs. Undertaker

This could be interesting. Undertaker goes straight to the shoulder and Old School gets an early two. The arm is tied around the ropes for some right hands but Finlay rakes the eyes. A single right hand knocks Undertaker to the floor with Finlay following, only to be sent into the barricade. Hornswoggle comes out for a distraction but gets stared back, allowing Finlay to get in a chair shot to the ribs to take over.

We take a break and come back with Finlay staying on the ribs as he should be. Undertaker gets in a shot to the face and they fight to the floor, with Undertaker getting in the big boot on the apron. There’s the apron legdrop and Finlay is sent face first into the announcers’ table. Finlay manages to send him into the steps though and the knee is banged up to match the ribs.

The ribs are sent into the apron but he catches a diving Finlay coming off the apron for a ram into the post. Finlay sends him into the steps again though and some knees to the ribs keep Undertaker in trouble back inside. The ribs are fine enough to reverse a suplex into one of his own to put Finlay down again.

They slug it out until Undertaker hits the jumping clothesline. The running corner clotheslines rock Finlay again and Snake Eyes into the legdrop gets two. Cue Hornswoggle for the Shillelagh shot, which has no effect. Finlay’s low blow has an effect but the referee gets bumped. The Shillelagh shot to the head gets a delayed two but Undertaker is back up with the chokeslam and Tombstone for the pin.

Rating: B. Another rather good power match here, though the shenanigans at the end didn’t help things. Undertaker is feeling it right now and having him in there against people like Finlay is going to make it better. I did like Undertaker having none of the Hornswoggle nonsense, though Hornswoggle is terrified of the Boogeyman but not Undertaker? Anyway, good main event here, as you probably expected.

Post match Batista comes out for the staredown, including thumbs up, thumbs down. Undertaker’s eyes go big to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. Smackdown, and arguably WWE as a whole, is feeling it right now as things are clicking at the right time. Wrestlemania is all but set and they even added something else tot he card this week. I actually want to see the show (even if the obsession with Trump vs. McMahon is getting annoying, though you can’t argue with the success) and that says a lot for a show I’ve seen several times before. Very strong show this week and hopefully they can keep it up for the next few weeks.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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