Smackdown – October 22, 2015: Prince Pretty’s Here
Smackdown Date: October 22, 2015
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Booker T., Jerry Lawler, Rich Brennan
It’s the final show before Hell in a Cell and we might get some build towards the World Title match after it got little more than lip service on Monday. Aside from that I’d assume we’re in for a lot of video packages on the other big matches and maybe another cryptic promo from Bray, possibly including the prophecy he was supposed to give on Monday. Let’s get to it.
We open with Seth Rollins walking through the back when he runs into Kane. That would be Corporate Kane, not Demon Kane, Harlem Heat Kane or Kane the Undertaker. Kane has a match for him tonight and threatens violence if Rollins tries to run again. Rollins leaves and Kane finds Kofi and Big E., both of whom have XW bands on their arm. Those dastardly Dudleyz put Woods through a table on Monday and now there are just two unicorns. Kofi: “What do you see in front of you right now?” Kane: “Men with fingers on their heads.” Kane plays a tiny trombone for them and makes the two of them vs. Ambrose/Reigns for later.
Seth Rollins vs. Cesaro
Non-title. Cesaro takes him to the mat and rides the champ before gutwrenching him for two. Seth bails to the floor and we see Stardust and Ascension in the Stardust Section again. The champ grabs his belt and thinks about leaving but changes his mind and goes back inside for the running uppercuts instead. Another bailout attempt is broken up by Cesaro but Seth sends him into the steps as we take a break.
Back with Seth getting two off the springboard knee to the head. It doesn’t seem to have much effect though as Cesaro dropkicks him off the top and out to the floor, followed by the running uppercut against the barricade. Back in and Seth’s enziguri sets up the low superkick for two, only to charge into Swiss Death. The Crossface doesn’t last long and Rollins breaks up the apron superplex, followed by the Pedigree for the pin at 10:35.
Rating: C+. This was the entertaining match you would expect from these two when they’re given a bit of time. Cesaro loses of course because that’s all he knows how to do these days. The big thing I took away from this though was the Pedigree is so out of character for Rollins. He’s a high flying striker and the Pedigree really doesn’t fit that style. I know it’s going to be part of the HHH vs. Rollins feud, which is still going to start any day now right? Like any day.
The Stardust Section mocks Cesaro.
Miz promises that MizTV will be awesome, unlike Renee’s hair.
Breast cancer time.
Here’s Paige to address trying to reform PCB and being accused of attacking Natalya last week. Paige says she only cares about what Charlotte and Becky think of her so she’d like them to come out here for her explanation. Becky doesn’t care to hear it but Paige talks about being happy when the two of them made it to the main roster. That’s all well and good, but Becky doesn’t believe it after everything Paige has said and done.
Charlotte says she’s going to talk now. Paige had her moment over a year ago and all Charlotte wanted was her own moment to share with the two of them. It’s clear that Paige doesn’t respect Charlotte because it’s not all about Paige for once. Cue the Bellas with Nikki talking about her record and Brie saying this feels like Pretty Little Liars. Charlotte wants a fight but Paige says Nikki has to fight her first. Nikki accepts because she’s fearless or whatever.
Nikki Bella vs. Paige
Lawler says Paige has made it all about herself again as Nikki takes over with a facebuster to start. Booker brings up winning the TV Title and how it messed up Harlem Heat. I’m sure Stevie being out for five months had nothing to do with it either. Nikki sends Paige shoulder first into the post and we take an early break. Back the bad arm going around the post again as Booker thinks Nikki knows about pressure points.
Nikki mocks THIS IS MY HOUSE before slamming Paige down on the arm. Paige comes right back with a superkick for two but walks into a spinebuster for the same. The Rack Attack is broken up and Paige gets two off a fall away slam. Brie: “STAY FEARLESS!” We get what looked like a quick edit to get to an Alabama Slam from Nikki for another two. Nikki finally drills her with the forearm and the Rack Attack is good for the pin at 11:20.
Rating: B-. I’m no fan of the Bellas but this was actually good. They were trading big moves and it worked really well all things considered. It’s amazing how much more entertaining these women are when they cut out all the stupid cattiness and just beat each other up. I’m really hoping they don’t put the belt back on Nikki but this was one of her best matches to date.
It’s time for MizTV with guests Dolph Ziggler and Summer Rae, with Dolph coming out after a long recap of the story since Lana and Rusev’s engagement was announced. Miz brings up Ziggler being tossed aside by TMZ of all places despite having more relationships than almost anyone in WWE. Lana is a grown woman who can do whatever she wants and Summer was just trying to use Dolph (“Which I’m usually into”) but he wants nothing to do with it. Miz isn’t convinced so here’s Summer to make it more interesting.
She gets right to the point and suggests that she wants to propose to Dolph. Dolph: “I’m just not that into you bro.” Actually that’s not what she meant because she’s found a new man: Tyler Breeze, complete with NXT theme and entrance. After a quick NXT chant, Breeze says he needs no introduction but Dolph needs someone to bring him beyond 1985.
Tyler has been hearing of Dolph treating his Summer Rae of sunshine so poorly so he flew in from Monte Carlo. Ziggler calls him a whiny millennial but Breeze decks him (and rightfully so. That’s quite the insult.) and drives the still injured throat (still injured? It is?) into the buckle. Referees help Ziggler up so Breeze adds a Beauty Shot before posing for a picture with Summer.
Sheamus/King Barrett vs. Lucha Dragons
Rusev is at ringside. Cara starts with Barrett and kicks him to the mat before monkey flipping Kalisto into a 450 for two. That was cool. It’s back to Cara who gets shoved off the ropes and grabs his knee. The knee is fine enough for Sheamus to throw him into the barricade though and a powerslam gets two. Barrett’s pumphandle slam is broken up and Cara scores with an enziguri, allowing the tag off to Kalisto. A quick hurricanrana driver plants Sheamus but Rusev pushes Barrett out of the way of a suicide dive. Kalisto dives onto Barrett but the distraction sets up the Brogue Kick for the pin at 4:17.
Rating: C. There’s always room for a foreign heel stable. It’s like Jello. Besides it’s not like most of them are doing anything else so why not throw them together? It worked for Road Dogg and Billy Gunn so maybe it works here too. Good enough match here and it makes the monsters look good before they lose on Sunday for the sake of setting up a rubber match that no one wants to see.
Clip from Raw of Reigns and Ambrose cleaning house of the Wyatts.
Here’s Bo Dallas with something to say. He accepts the US Open Challenge for he and his fellow Bo-Mericans. His version of Bo say can you see is interrupted and it’s time for a match.
Ryback vs. Bo Dallas
Ryback throws him around to start but gets his throat snapped across the top rope as we see Owens watching in the back. Not that it matters as the Meat Hook and Shell Shock end this at 1:39. Nice job of rebuilding Ryback after the totally unnecessary loss on Monday.
Owens says Ryback is a lot of things Owens isn’t, including champion. Renee takes this as Owens being arrogant but Owens thinks it means he’s better than Ryback. This Sunday it’s the Kevin Owens show and he’s walking out Intercontinental Champion. Trust him.
Long video on Lesnar vs. Undertaker, which Booker compares to Ali vs. Frazier.
Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. New Day
Non-title. Eden introduces this as a tag team match which will probably get her in hot water backstage. No Woods here due to being put through a table on Raw. It’s been far too long since someone was off TV to sell a short term injury like this. A loud NEW DAY ROCKS opens things up as Kofi does the unicorns pose. Ambrose headlocks Kofi to start and brings in Reigns for the jumping clothesline.
Big E. comes in for the hip swiveling and a shoulder to put Roman down. Reigns gets driven into the barricade and it’s time for a break. Back with Reigns breaking out of an abdominal stretch and making the tag off to Dean for some right hands. A quick Kofi trip puts New Day back in control though and it’s time for the rotating stomps. Big E. sounds like he’s on a microphone as he shouts encouragement.
Kofi loads up the Boom Drop, shouts HOPSCOTCH, does a little hopping, and lands on Dean for two. Ambrose makes the quick tag and it’s off to Roman to clean house. There’s an apron boot to Big E. and another one on the announcers’ table to Kofi. Ambrose comes back in with a missile dropkick to Big E. and the champs bail, only to run into the Dudleyz. Back in and Big E. takes a Doomsday Device, followed by a Superman Punch to Kofi. The spear puts Kingston away at 12:07.
Rating: C-. It’s really kind of amazing how much less entertaining the New Day is without Woods out there. They’re just a basic power and speed team and the HOPSCOTCH thing wasn’t enough to get me really into the match. Woods is the heart and soul of the team and I never would have guessed that when they got together in the first place.
Bray pops up on screen and says Roman can’t outrun his fear.
Overall Rating: D+. Totally standard go home episode of Smackdown as they’ve found the safest formula they can come up with and aren’t moving away from it until USA drags them to a new night. It was another two hours that came and went with the Divas match actually being the highlight of the show. Smackdown continues to be the definition of “just there” and I’m getting more and more indifferent to it every single week.
Results
Seth Rollins b. Cesaro – Pedigree
Nikki Bella b. Charlotte – Rack Attack
Sheamus/King Barrett b. Lucha Dragons – Brogue Kick to Kalisto
Ryback b. Bo Dallas – Shell Shock
Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. New Day – Spear to Kingston
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Summerslam 2012 Date: August 19, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,205
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
The main story here is Brock Lesnar is back, having returned the night after Wrestlemania to start a feud with John Cena. That feud lasted for a month before Lesnar started going after HHH. It wasn’t until three months later, as in tonight, that they’re having their showdown. Other than that we have Punk defending the title against Big Show and Cena and Sheamus defending against Del Rio. Let’s get to it.
Pre-Show: US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella
This is one of those ideas that was brought back after far too many years off. Santino is defending and Cesaro has his HORRID dance music here. He also has Aksana who isn’t horrid at all, other than in the ring of course. Cesaro’s word of the day in five languages: greatness. Santino does the power walk to the ring and is as goofy as ever. Cesaro takes it to the mat but Santino actually spins out for two.
A judo throw puts Cesaro down before Santino power walks out of an Irish whip. Must resist country jokes. Santino avoids a charge in the corner and loads up the Cobra but Cesaro takes his head off from behind. The Cobra goes to the floor and Aksana throws it away. Off to a reverse chinlock with Cesaro pulling on Marella’s ears to keep him away from the Cobra. IT’S A FREAKING SOCK! I know Foley used one too but it didn’t seem to have magical powers.
Santino kicks Cesaro away but still can’t get the sock. The gutwrench suplex gets no cover from the challenger, as he would rather rip the Cobra to shreds. Santino pounds away but misses the headbutt. He counters the Neutralizer and pulls out another Cobra, proving THAT IT’S JUST A FREAKING SOCK! Aksana gets on the apron and the Cobra wants her, allowing Cesaro to hit the Neutralizer for the pin and the title.
Rating: D+. IT’S A FREAKING SOCK! Match was ok but the majority of the five minutes were spent on Santino trying to put a sock on his hand so he can use a neck attack taught to him by John Lovitz. I know he’s a comedy character but there’s a point where it’s stupid rather than funny. Santino half crossed that line years ago.
The opening video talks about the twenty five years of Summerslam, meaning we’ll have to hear about how this is the 25th anniversary. The video is interrupted by talk of a storm called Brock Lesnar, which to be fair is the main draw of the show.
Jerry and Cole’s intro is cut off by Vickie’s screeching intro of Ziggler.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho
Dolph is Mr. MITB here and Jericho is freshly face after Ziggler accused him of going soft. Jericho has taped up ribs from an attack at Ziggler’s hands. The fans LOVE Chris and things start fast with the Canadian hitting the jumping back elbow to the jaw. Jericho slips out of the corner on a spinning clothesline but Ziggler escapes a suplex and kicks him in the ribs to take over. Dolph stays on the ribs for a quick two but gets backdropped out to the floor.
Chris’ springboard dive misses as Ziggler casually ducks, sending Jericho crashing to the floor. Ziggler hooks on a chinlock with a bodyscissors to stay on the ribs. A knee to the head gets two for Dolph and a neckbreaker, complete with hip swivel and ARROGANT COVER, gets two more.
Jericho gets a quick cradle for two but Ziggler takes him right back down with a clothesline. Dolph misses a Stinger Splash and Chris goes after him, only to be easily taken down by another shot to the ribs. Not that it matters as he pops up top for the ax handle but Ziggler kicks him in the ribs again. The Fameasser gets two but an enziguri puts Dolph down for two as well. Back and forth match so far here.
Dolph jumps over Chris in the corner and puts on the sleeper which looks horrid here. Jericho rams him into the corner to escape and rains down some right hands before snapping off a top rope hurricanrana. The ribs are damaged even more though, delaying the count by several seconds. A jumping DDT gets two on the Canadian and Ziggler is getting frustrated.
They slug it out with Jericho taking him down via the bulldog but the Lionsault hits knees. The Zig Zag gets two but Dolph can’t follow up. Instead he walks into the Codebreaker to send him to the floor. Jericho throws him in but gets tripped up by Vickie, allowing Ziggler to roll him up for two. Dolph misses a charge into the post and the Walls go on for the submission.
Rating: C+. The idea here was that Jericho couldn’t win the big one anymore. The problem here though is they would have a rematch tomorrow night with Jericho’s contract and Dolph’s case on the line. Why they didn’t have that match here is anyone’s guess but at least it was a good opener and the fans popped for the ending. They had some Shelton vs. HBK from 2005 in there with Jericho fighting a younger version of himself but using his maturity and experience to get the win.
Vickie freaks out over the loss.
We recap Brock breaking Shawn Michaels’ arm on Raw.
Heyman and Brock say Lesnar wins tonight.
Daniel Bryan vs. Kane
It’s amazing that this team started less than a year ago. The fans are already chanting YES and Bryan says NO. It’s amazing how a chant this simple carried Bryan so far. This was set up by GM AJ as revenge against Bryan for jilting her or something. Bryan fires off kicks to start but walks into an uppercut to knock him back. Daniel moonsaults over Kane in the corner but gets kicked in the face to put him down. The low dropkick gets two for Kane but the fans are all behind Daniel.
Another big boot gets two but Bryan comes back with the kicks to the legs, only to be thrown over the top and out to the floor. Bryan slides back in and hits the FLYING GOAT to put Kane down. The missile dropkick drops Kane again and there are more kicks, only to have Kane clothesline his way out of trouble. The side slam gets two and the top rope clothesline looks to set up the chokeslam but Bryan bails to the floor.
Bryan slaps him in the face like a knucklehead, sending Kane through the roof. Bryan is tossed into the corner and stomped down by a furious Kane. The referee drags him away, allowing Bryan to try the NO Lock. Kane powers out so Bryan kicks him in the head. Why overcomplicate things? The flying headbutt is caught in the chokeslam but Kane wants the tombstone, allowing Bryan to counter into a small package for the pin.
Rating: C+. Good match here and you could see the anger management stuff coming. Kane had Bryan beat but wanted revenge and let Bryan catch him off guard. These two obviously had chemistry together and the story would be a big boost to Kane’s career. Also the original idea here was Bryan vs. Charlie Sheen somehow. Thankfully that was never mentioned again.
Kane is going nuts in the back. Josh Matthews comes up to him like the schnook he is and is LAUNCHED off camera in a funny bit.
Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz
Miz is defending and Mysterio is dressed like Batman. Rey grabs a quick rollup for two and the champion bails to the floor for a bit. AJ has promised to deal with Kane for attacking Matthews tomorrow on Raw. Miz throws Mysterio through the ropes to the floor but Rey rolls through to avoid pain. The champion sends him ribs first into the barricade to take over as this isn’t doing much for me so far.
Miz pulls on Rey’s face and puts on a chinlock before hitting something resembling Abyss’ Shock Treatment (torture rack backbreaker) for two. A boot to Rey’s head gets two and it’s off to a cravate for a bit. Miz hits the corner clothesline but spends too much time laughing at the crowd, allowing Rey to crotch him on the top.
Rey’s seated senton is rolled through into a slingshot sitout powerbomb for two from Miz. Rey comes back with a tornado DDT for the same result and a top rope hurricanrana sends Miz into the 619 position. The kick to the face connects but Rey misses the top rope splash. The Skull Crushing Finale is countered into a cradle for a hot two count. A second attempt at the Finale works though to retain Miz’s title.
Rating: C-. This took a long time to get going but it had a few nice moments at the end. Both of these guys fell so far in just a year as both guys were fighting for the world title just a year ago. The match wasn’t bad but it didn’t do much for me. It was one of those matches that came and went and I won’t think about it again an hour from now.
Teddy Long and Eve, the bosses of Smackdown, leave AJ’s office and seem to approve of what she’s doing. They leave and Punk goes in to find a smiling AJ. Punk doesn’t like the idea of being in a triple threat for the title tonight and thinks it’s happening as revenge for him rejecting AJ’s proposal. AJ just stares off into space and Punk accuses her of disrespecting him but she doesn’t move an inch.
We recap Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus. These two feuded FOREVER and Del Rio never did much of anything. He complained about Sheamus not being high class so Sheamus stole Del Rio’s car. Fake cops beat up Sheamus and that’s about it. It’s as boring of a feud as it sounds.
Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio
Feeling out process to start with both guys tumbling out to the floor. Back in and Sheamus hits a quick neckbreaker and the rolling senton for two each. Sheamus puts him on the top rope for a belly to back superplex but Alberto gets onto Sheamus’ shoulder to escape. The buckle pad is pulled off in the process. Del Rio can’t hook the armbreaker so he kicks Sheamus out to the floor instead. Sheamus is sent knee first into the steps as the crowd is DEAD.
Back in and Del Rio hits a flying shoulder block for two before hooking the chinlock. A kick to the head gets two on the champion and we hit the chinlock. That goes nowhere so Del Rio mocks Sheamus’ chest pounding before the Brogue Kick, only to have Sheamus ax handle him in the head. Sheamus goes up but a kick to the let puts him down again. A kick to the arm gets two for Alberto and the armbreaker goes on, FINALLY waking the fans up.
Sheamus of course is barely phased by it and rolls onto Del Rio to break the pressure. He picks Alberto up into a kind of powerbomb to break the hold, earning himself a chant from the crowd. White Noise gets two and Sheamus avoids a charge in the corner, setting up the forearms in the ropes. Sheamus pounds down right hands in the corner but gets dropped face first onto the exposed buckle. The enziguri in the corner is good for two so Del Rio yells at Ricardo. Rodriguez throws in a shoe but Sheamus intercepts it to knock Ricardo out cold. The Irish Curse hits for the pin, ignoring Del Rio’s foot being on the rope. REMATCH!
Rating: D+. The match was decent but it never felt like Sheamus was in any real danger. The drop onto the exposed buckle and the enziguri got a near fall, but it didn’t feel like a close near fall; It felt like it was there because this is where we’re supposed to have a dramatic kick out if that makes sense. It’s not bad but this feud didn’t need to continue at all.
We hear about Mike Tyson and Piers Morgan having a Twitter war over the main event. I’ve got nothing.
We get a clip from the pre show where HHH tells the referee that the match isn’t ending on a countout or a DQ.
Tag Titles: Prime Time Players vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth
I don’t remember Kofi and Truth being champions AT ALL. Truth and Young get us going as the fans chant Kobe Bryant, referencing the joke that got AW fires. Young is taken down by an armdrag and a legdrop gets two for Truth. Truth has to fight out of the corner but gets caught in the face by a big boot for two. Back up and Truth hits a great side kick to take Titus’ head off and get himself a breather. Off to Kofi to speed things up as the crowd still isn’t all that interested.
Kofi chops O’Neil down but a Young distraction lets the challengers take over. Titus clotheslines Kofi down for two before suplexing Young onto Kofi’s back for two. A snap powerslam gets the same for Darren and it’s back to Titus for an abdominal stretch. That goes nowhere so Titus loads up a spinout Rock Bottom, only to be pulled dowin into a DDT. Hot tag brings in Truth to clean house and everything breaks down. Titus is sent to the floor and caught by a Kofi dive, allowing Truth to hit Little Jimmy on Darren to retain the titles.
Rating: D+. This could have been on any given Raw. The Players are a decent team but Titus is clearly the star with Young just being there. Kofi and Truth are just transitional champions before HELL NO would take the championships a few weeks later. Nothing to see here other than a filler before we get to the main events.
Video on Summerslam Axxess.
We recap the Raw World Title match. Punk won the title at Survivor Series but got angry over Rock vs. Cena being announced as the main event of Wrestlemania 29 a year in advance. Cena cashed in the MITB case at Raw 1000 but Big Show cost Cena the match. AJ made it a three way for the sake of tormenting Punk (now a heel demanding respect) for turning down her proposal.
Punk’s complaints about how the title should be the focus and how he wasn’t getting respect are why his heel turn didn’t go well: those are logical points and heels aren’t supposed to be logical. WWE failing to get this is the source of a lot of their problems. Heels are supposed to be bullies or maniacal in their delusions, not making thought out rational points.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk vs. Big Show
Show knocks down both smaller guys as Cole talks about Punk not main eventing a show since December despite holding the title the entire time. Good point actually. The LOUD chop hits both Cena and Punk’s chests twice each with Big Show in total control. They finally work together but Show easily suplexes them both down. Cena is crushed in the corner, knocking him out to the floor so it’s Punk vs. Show one on one.
Punk wisely takes out the knee and fires off kicks to the chest as the fans are entirely behind him. The smart moves are canceled out though as Punk tries a GTS with the obvious result. Cena tries an AA but the powers of gravity take him down to the mat, crushing Cena’s head against the mat. Show chops Punk down in the corner and knocks Cena out to the floor. Punk avoids a splash but tries a springboard cross body like a schnook, earning that powerslam he gets.
The Final Cut puts Punk down but Cena breaks up the WMD, earning himself a spear from the giant for two. Show loads up a double Vader Bomb but only hits Cena, allowing Punk to springboard onto Show for the save. Everyone heads to the floor with Big Show chokeslamming Punk against the ropes, sending him back to the floor. Show drops Cena with a side slam but stares at the crowd instead of covering. Maybe someone was holding up a Twinkie?
Cena actually hits a belly to back suplex on Show and loads up the Shuffle, only to have Punk charge in for the save. The champion drops the Macho Elbow for two on Show but gets launched away. Since covering hasn’t worked, Punk puts on a modified Koji Clutch but Show easily powers out. The crowd has DIED for some reason. Cena comes back in and shoulders Show down, bringing them right back to life.
There’s the STF on Show but the big man stands up to break the hold. Punk comes in with a springboard clothesline to take Show down again, followed by three straight knees to the head in the corner. The bulldog is easily countered (of course) but Cena hits the top rope Fameasser to put the giant down.
We get a Koji Clutch/STF combo and Show taps, but we have no clear winner. This brings out AJ (Punk: “DO THE RIGHT THING LIKE SPIKE LEE! LET THE PEOPLE DECIDE! THEY CAN TWEET ABOUT IT!”) who eventually says restart the match, allowing Show to hit a double chokeslam for two on each guy. Cena ducks the WMD and hits the AA, but Punk throws him to the floor and steals the pin to retain.
Rating: C. The match was ok with the logical story but it was nothing we hadn’t seen before. The restart was pretty dumb as well as Big Show shouldn’t have had a chance to win the title after tapping out. Cena vs. Punk would continue for months which would make for some great matches, but this wasn’t anything special. Not bad at all though.
Various B level celebrities are here. Maria Menunos in a Bob Backlund shirt works very well.
Trailer for whatever WWE’s latest movie is at the point. The Day. Ok then.
We recap the pre-show match to fill in time.
Kevin Rudolf sings the theme song.
We recap the main event. Basically Lesnar tried to hold the company hostage by renaming Raw to Monday Night Raw Starring Brock Lesnar. HHH stood up to him and got a broken arm as a result. Lesnar F5’d Vince and injured him, making HHH come back as The Cerebral Assassin to face Lesnar. Brock responded by breaking Shawn Michaels’ arm as well. This was one of those feuds that people weren’t all that thrilled to see but it could have been worse. More on that later.
Brock Lesnar vs. HHH
Every time I watch a Brock Lesnar match I remember how scary of a human being he is. We get spotlights for the big match intros in a cool idea. Remember that HHH told the referee to allow a lot of fighting tonight. Lesnar powers HHH into the corner to start and goes for a standing kimura (arm lock that he used to break the arm) with a jumping body scissors. HHH though is a MAN and powers out of it before clotheslining Brock to the floor. Back in and Brock pounds away, only to be clotheslined to the floor again. You know, because Cena can be in a war with Brock at Extreme Rules but HHH can easily stop him.
Brock comes back in and takes the MMA gloves off before taking HHH down to the mat with an amateur move. They head outside with HHH shrugging off Brock’s attacks and pounding away, only to be dropped arm first onto the announce table. Lesnar eventually drags HHH back in for a hammerlock slam. Back to the standing kimura with Brock wrapping the arm around the ropes and ramming it into the corner.
A release German suplex puts HHH down again but he comes back with a neck snap across the ropes. Brock is taken down by a DDT but he goes right back to the kimura and another hammerlock slam. They head to the floor with the arm going into the steps and the rest of HHH going into the announce table. Brock jumps off the table onto the Game before taking him back inside. Of all things, Lesnar busts out a small package for a one count. A hard clothesline puts HHH down but he blocks a suplex into one of his own to get a breather.
Brock misses a charge into the corner but blocks a Pedigree and throws HHH out to the floor. HHH sends him into the announce table stomach first, which is a weak spot due to some real life past illnesses which ended his UFC career for all intents and purposes. More shots to the stomach have Brock in trouble and a knee to the ribs puts him down. Heyman is losing his mind and Brock is in trouble.
The spinebuster puts Brock down and there’s the Pedigree for two. A low blow puts HHH down and Heyman screams that this was HHH’s idea. The F5 is good for two and Brock is stunned. I have no idea why, as you know you can’t get a win off one finisher in WWE. Now the kimura goes on again with a bodyscissors but a rope break means nothing. Instead HHH pretty easily punches his way out of it and hits another Pedigree. Thankfully Brock no sells it and puts on the kimura, breaking the arm again and drawing the submission.
Rating: C+. The match is ok but it has one major flaw: it’s BORING. You don’t bring in Brock Lesnar to have him go toe to toe with HHH. You bring him in to have him destroy small cities and eat villagers. That’s the issue here. We went from Cena surviving against an insane Brock Lesnar to HHH having Brock in trouble in a dull match. Lesnar didn’t seem insane here at all and it made for a much less interesting match. Also, Cena won with a Hail Mary shot, where as HHH can slug it out with Lesnar? That just doesn’t hold up at all. Somehow this would be the high point, as this feud went on another TEN MONTHS.
Naturally HHH gets the big heroic stand up in the ring, but instead of people giving him a standing ovation they tell him that he tapped out. HHH stands there until people finally applaud him. He apologizes to the fans and slowly walks out. I guess this is supposed to be like Austin at Wrestlemania 13 but it’s just failing. The speculation is that HHH is leaving for good. If you bought that, raise your hand to show how gullible you are.
Overall Rating: C-. This is an interesting show as most of the matches are ok but nothing goes beyond that level. Most of this show would be classified as ok at best and uninteresting at worst. It’s just kind of there with nothing memorable other than HHH DEMANDING to give us his moment at the end. Nothing to see here and not worth checking out.
Summerslam Count-Up – 2011: That Time Nash Texted Himself
Summerslam 2011
Date: August 14, 2011
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17.404
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T
This year has been all about the rise of CM Punk. In June he sat on the stage and ripped into John Cena and the WWE in general, leading up to the world title match at Money in the Bank in Chicago. Punk won the title in a masterpiece and then left the company as champion. Cena won the title from Rey Mysterio on Raw, but Punk came back with his title. Tonight it’s champion vs. champion for the undisputed title. Oh and Christian vs. Orton in the blowoff to the underrated feud of the year. Let’s get to it.
Adam Jones, some guitarist from Tool, plays the Star Spangled Banner. WE WANT MAN MOUNTAIN ROCK!
The opening video is about how Summerslam being where dreams are made. We shift to a shot of dominoes falling over. Punk talks about being the first domino being knocked over and starting a revolution. HHH is guest referee tonight because what would a major match be without him?
The theme song this year is Bright Lights Bigger City by Cee Lo Green. I usually don’t care for him but it fits the show well.
The Miz/Alberto Del Rio/R-Truth vs. Kofi Kingston/John Morrison/Rey Mysterio
Cole IMMEDIATELY freaks out over Miz being on Summerslam. Miz keeps talking about how awesome he is until Truth cuts him off. This was when Truth was insane so he complains about things that start with the letter S, like spiders, Summerslam, Cee Loo Green and Conspiracy. Del Rio is the Raw MITB winner. The fans are WAY into Del Rio here for some reason. Mysterio gets a title shot at Punk or Cena tomorrow on Raw. Miz and Kofi get things going and the fans are actually behind Miz as well. Kofi hits a nice monkey flip followed by a dropkick before bringing in Morrison.
A double clothesline puts Miz down and the good guys do stereo nipups in a nice visual. Off to Truth who is tackled by Morrison but comes back with right hands to the face. Truth sends Morrison to the floor as the announcers talk about wigs. Thankfully Booker is there to get us back to the action by shouting BACK TO THE ACTION! Miz comes in with a kick to the head and puts on a chinlock, only to have Morrison kick him in the head to escape.
Kofi comes flying in off the hot tag and cleans house with his barrage of high flying offense including a cross body to Miz for two. The Boom Drop gets two and everything breaks down. Kofi gets two off the SOS but Del Rio breaks up the pin. Miz hits a kind of Diamond Cutter face plant for two and it’s Kofi in trouble from the boots of R-Truth. Del Rio comes in with a belly to back suplex and mocks Kofi’s Trouble in Paradise hand slap.
Kofi kicks him away but Miz breaks up a hot tag bid. Cole lists off Miz’s high school accomplishments as Kofi flips out of a sunset flip and stomps on Miz’s ribs to put him down. Hot tag brings in Rey to face Truth who does his usual backflip/splits sequence, only to have Rey kick him in the head. Del Rio breaks up a double 619 so only Truth takes the kick. Kofi dives on Miz and Rey hits a top rope splash on Truth for the pin.
Rating: B-. Take six guys, give them ten minutes and let them have fun. It’s an idea as old as time and it’s still used to this day because it still works. The good guys can fire up any crowd with their high spots and the fans were into the match as a result. As mentioned earlier, Summerslam is great at having good openers and this was no exception.
Johnny Ace wants an apology from Punk over a kick to the head on Monday. Punk gives an over the top apology and Ace walks away. Punk turns around to see Stephanie who wishes him good luck. He makes fun of Vince and she wishes both Cena and Punk good luck. “But I’m just Vince’s clueless daughter right?” Punk: “Yeah pretty much.” She offers him a handshake but he knows where it’s been.
We recap Sheamus vs. Mark Henry. Henry is just starting the Hall of Pain run and has been destroying everyone in sight and breaking a lot of limbs. He stood tall in the ring until Sheamus came out and said three simple words: I’ll fight him. It turned Sheamus face and made him very popular due to the simple idea of standing up to a bully. THIS is how you book Sheamus: have him in there against some monster and taking a good fight to him, not slumming it with Damien Sandow and winning each match with ease.
Mark Henry vs. Sheamus
Henry takes him down with a clothesline to start but Sheamus comes right back with right hands. The pale one pounds away and actually knocks Henry down to his knees, only to be thrown to the floor. Henry EASILY throws Sheamus through the ropes and hits a splash for two. A running crotch attack crushes Sheamus’ neck but he’s in the ropes before the count starts.
A backbreaker puts Sheamus down and it’s off to an Argentinean backbreaker to complete the set. Sheamus powers out, only to be sent chest first into the corner. Henry misses a Vader Bomb though and Sheamus has a breather. A series of ax handles to the chest and head put Henry down followed by the forearms in the ropes. They clothesline each other down and we get a breather.
Back up and Mark runs into a boot in the corner, allowing Sheamus to go up for the top rope shoulder, good for two. The Brogue Kick misses though and a clothesline puts Sheamus down. Sheamus slips out of the World’s Strongest Slam and there’s the Brogue Kick to knock Henry to the outside. Sheamus follows him to the floor but Henry drives him into the post and through the barricade in a great crash, allowing Mark to beat the count for a countout win.
Rating: C+. This was another simple formula: take two big power brawlers and let them beat the tar out of each other for nearly the minutes. It’s also a smart ending as Sheamus gets to stay strong but Henry gets another win. Sheamus would get a countout win I believe at the next PPV so it evened out. Good, fun brawl here.
World Heavyweight Champion Christian says his match with Orton will be an epic summer blockbuster. He’ll be like Harry Potter, making magic at every turn. Orton will be like Cowboys and Aliens: a flashy flop. That movie was good though.
Trailer for Killer Elite which is probably sponsoring the show or something.
Here’s Cee Lo Green for the mini concert. He looks like he’s in big sparkly pajamas but the song isn’t bad so I’m not complaining much. The fans aren’t moving at all for this but the vocals are pretty bad so I can barely hear a word he’s saying. Now he throws in his bigger hit Forget You, complete with Divas in red dancing behind him.
Now here’s a Slim Jim ad. I’m sure the fans are LOVING this stuff.
Now a 7-11 commercial. My goodness get to something else.
Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix
I could go for a Slurpee. Back to 7-11 it is! Kelly is defending. Beth and Natalya are the Divas of Doom here and don’t like the Barbies like Eve and Kelly. Kelly and those AWESOME little shorts of hers go after Beth and we get the screaming headscissors. Beth is knocked off the apron and Kelly dives off the middle rope to knock her to the floor. Back in and Kelly flips out of the corner and Beth clotheslines her down.
Kelly gets dropped throat first on the top rope for two Eve plays cheerleader. This is a lot of standing around with Beth glaring down at Kelly before hitting a running Umaga shot in the corner. We hit the chinlock followed by the second over the shoulder backbreaker of the night. Kelly finally slips out and hits a quick neckbreaker to put both of them down.
Beth sends her into the Tree of Woe for no follow up before getting two off a side slam. Kelly gets in a knee to the face and goes nuts on Beth, only to have the handspring elbow countered. The Glam Slam is countered into a victory roll for the pin, just like every time Kelly beat Phoenix.
Rating: D+. All things considered, this was something resembling a miracle. The match was nothing of note but Kelly actually didn’t embarrass herself out there. She got WAY better over the years, but at the end of the day she was out there because of how good she looked in those tiny shorts. It also says a lot that less than two years later only Natalya is left from this match.
Stephanie leaves Cena’s locker room for some reason.
Truth and….Jimmy Hart of all people talk about a c-o-n-spiarcy. Jimmy offers to manage him and Truth seems interested before he realizes that Hart is…..LITTLE JIMMY! Truth looks over to see Ron Artest (Metta World Peace) and his daughter in a worthless cameo.
BUY TWIX!
Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan
I like Barret’s End of Days theme a lot better than the God Save the Queen one now. This is MITB fallout as Bryan knocked Barrett off to win the case. Bryan has some slow music which isn’t all that bad, but soon he would go to Flight of the Valkyries which works far better for him. Bryan is rocking the white trunks with red trim here which are pretty awesome. Feeling out process to start with Barrett punching Bryan down to stop the wrestling part of the match.
Daniel takes it to the mat and spins out of a wristlock before dropkicking Wade down. Cole says Barrett is a submission master as Bryan does the AJ Styles drop down into a dropkick, right down to the same overblown drop down. Back up and Bryan hooks a dragon screw leg whip and a running dropkick in the corner for two. Another kick to the chest gets two and Bryan backflips over Barrett, only to charge into the Winds of Change for two. A slingshot belly to back backbreaker gets two for Wade and we hit a reverse chinlock.
Back up and Bryan hits a running clothesline but Wade comes back with a big running forearm to the face. Wade puts Bryan in the ropes and kicks him out to the floor before hooking a chinlock. The hold doesn’t last long again but Bryan ducks a boot and crotches Barrett on the top. A dropkick puts him on the floor and there’s the flying knee off the apron. Back in again and the missile dropkick gets a close two for the American.
Bryan escapes a pumphandle slam and fires off more kicks to the chest for two. Wade ducks a clothesline and hits a big boot to the face for two but Wasteland is countered into the guillotine choke. Barrett goes down and there’s the LeBell Lock but Wade gets into the ropes for the break. Daniel loads up a superplex but Barrett crotches him on the top rope. A middle rope clothesline takes Bryan off the ropes and Wasteland is good for the 100% clean pin.
Rating: B+. I REALLY liked this for one reason: it was a good wrestling match. It’s a basic story of one guy wanting revenge for a loss in a big match, it had a good story in the ring with a striker against a technical guy and the action was good. Wade Barrett is a guy who can go in the ring but he’s the ultimate jobber to the stars and I have no idea why when he can do this.
We recap Randy Orton vs. Christian. Christian won the title at Extreme Rules but Orton came over to Smackdown to replace Edge as the top guy. Orton won the title on his first night on the show, ending Christian’s title reign in less than a week. Christian wanted one more match, turning heel in the process.
Orton beat him again, but Christian some how got one more match and if Orton got disqualified, he would lose the title. For once, that actually worked and Christian won the title. Tonight, it’s the final match with no holds barred. These matches kept getting better and better and if Punk vs. Cena hadn’t happened it would have run away with feud of the year.
Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton
Before the match, Christian brings out Edge to be in his corner to a HUGE ovation. After a full entrance, Edge says that he’ll never be cleared to wrestle again. When he first left, that made him happy because he was able to pass the torch to Christian. Edge didn’t think it was fair that Christian had to defend the title five days after a ladder match and Christian complained too.
Then he complained more and more and more and more. Then he wanted rematch after rematch and FINALLY he won the title back…..but he did it by disqualification. Yeah Edge did some bad things, but he did it with style. He didn’t hide behind lawyers and clipboards. Somewhere along the line Christian became a parody of himself. Edge didn’t know Christian would ever be like this, and that’s not good. Edge drops the mic, walks out, Christian freaks, and here’s Randy.
Remember this is no holds barred. Orton takes him into the corner and stomps him down before hitting a quick clothesline. Christian rakes the eyes and gets a quick one count off a middle rope elbow to the face. A backdrop puts Christian down and Randy stomps away but the champion chokes away on the ropes. Orton loads up the Elevated DDT but gets backdropped to the floor. Really back and forth so far.
Orton sends him head first into the barricade and loads up the announce table. The RKO is blocked and Christian grabs the belt before sprinting into the crowd. Randy catches up with him and stomps Christian down onto the concrete before heading back to ringside. Back in and Orton rains down right hands in the corner. Christian avoids a charge and sends Orton’s famously bad shoulder into the post to take over. The champion brings in a kendo stick to choke away before getting two off a back elbow.
Christian busts out a spinebuster for two and goes to the middle rope, only to be dropkicked out of the air. The powerslam puts Christian down again and now Randy gets the kendo stick. Instead of swinging though he catches Christian’s dropkick into a jackknife cover for two followed by the Thesz Press. Christian escapes the Elevated DDT into a Killswitch attempt but Orton counters into the backbreaker for two. The idea of this feud was that they knew each other so well and they would add another move to the string of counters every match. It was awesome.
Orton can’t hit the Punt but has to send Christian face first into the post to avoid getting crotched against the steel. Randy pulls out a pair of tables and slides one into the ring, only to have Christian drive him into the apron. Christian sets up the other table on the floor and they head inside where Orton superplexes him onto (not through as the table hasn’t been set up yet) the table for two. The table is set up in the corner but Christian counters the whip into the reverse DDT for no cover. Instead he loads up the spear but Orton jumps over and tries the RKO, only to be sent over the top and out to the floor.
Christian goes after him but is sent knees first into the steps to put him down again. Orton takes forever to set up the steps but gets sent face first into the steel again. Christian loads up the other announce table and blasts Orton in the head with the announce table. The champion tries an RKO through the table but gets caught in the real thing to destroy the table instead. Back in and Christian hits a quick Killswitch for two and Christian is furious.
The champion brings in a pair of chairs for the Conchairto but spits on Orton, causing Randy to move away. Now it’s Randy with the chair, cracking it over Christian’s back and knocking him off the apron through the table. Orton throws in some steps and trashcans before catching a charging Christian in a powerslam through the table in the corner.
Some HARD kendo stick shots to the back have Christian in even more trouble and the Elevated DDT crushes a trashcan. Christian tries one more rush but his sunset flip out of the corner is countered into the RKO (same move that gave Orton the title in the first place) onto the steps for the pin and the title.
Rating: A-. Much like the Undertaker vs. Edge Cell match a few years earlier, this was the perfect way to blow off a feud with Orton being the definitive winner. This feud did a great job of building upon itself with the extended sequences carrying over from match to match and building a deep psychology. Great match here and the whole feud is worth checking out.
Video on Axxess.
We recap Punk vs. Cena. As mentioned, Punk left with the title at Money in the Bank so there was a tournament held to crown a new champion. Mysterio won but lost the title to Cena the same night. Punk came out and held up his own belt, meaning we had two champions. This all happened in two weeks when it could have went on for months. The entire match is summed up with one idea: Cena doesn’t know if he can beat Punk. HHH is the new boss and is the guest referee tonight for no reason anyone not named HHH can figure out.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk
Punk has more or less been turned face by the will of the crowd alone. Feeling out process to start with Punk grabbing a headlock and SHOUTING spots into Cena’s ear. Cena easily takes him down to the mat and slaps on a headlock. That gets him nowhere so Punk gets up and we have a quick staredown. Cena grabs a single leg and slaps on an armbar followed by a chinlock. Back up and Punk hits a quick leg lariat before hooking a chinlock of his own with a bodyscissors.
Cena powers out and hooks a quick fisherman’s suplex before hooking another chinlock. The fans chant Fruity Pebbles and WE WANT ICE CREAM as Punk gets up a quick big boot to the jaw. HHH hasn’t been a factor so far. A few knees to the ribs and a headbutt to the shoulder set up another bodyscissors from Punk as we’re barely in second gear nearly eight minutes into the match. Cena escapes again and they fight over a suplex off the apron. Neither guy can go anywhere so Punk kicks Cena in the head to knock him outside.
Back in again and Punk cranks on a neck lock but Cena stands up and suplexes out of it. Cena tries to speed things up but the shoulder block is caught by a knee to the head for two. The running knee in the corner misses and now Cena can initiate the finishing sequence, only to have Punk hit a knee to break up the Shuffle. CM tries a kick but gets caught in the STF, only to get to the ropes and counter the ProtoBomb into a downward spiral and a Koji Clutch.
Cena rolls out and puts on the STF but Punk slips in an arm to block most of the pressure before countering into the Anaconda Vice. Cena rolls out of THAT and tries the STF again but Punk crawls out before it goes on full. AWESOME sequence there as the gear has shifted hard. Punk backdrops him to the floor and hits the suicide dive but he bumps his own head in the process. HHH starts counting and gets to nine before going to the floor and throwing both guys back inside.
They slug it out back in the ring but Cena can’t hit the AA. Instead he busts out a GREAT dropkick and hits the Shuffle. The AA is countered again into a sunset flip for two followed by the high kick for two more. Cena escapes the GTS and hits a corner splash (?!?) and a sitout powerslam (that’s more like it) for two. The top rope Fameasser doesn’t get to launch as Punk hits the running knee to the head and the bulldog off the top for two.
Punk loads up another springboard but gets caught in the STF to put him in real trouble. He finally gets to the rope and pops up for a GTS attempt, only to be countered into the AA for a close two. The top rope Fameasser misses again and Punk grabs a quick GTS for two more. HHH still hasn’t been a major factor other than throwing both guys in. The Macho Elbow gets two and Cena goes into straight brawling mode but gets caught by another knee to the chin. GTS #2 connects and the three goes down but Cena’s foot was on the ropes before two.
Rating: B+. The match is good with that sequence in the middle being a big highlight but there’s one major problem for this match: it’s the sequel to Money in the Bank. That’s doomed so many matches over the years and while it didn’t sink this one, it certainly slowed it down a lot. Still though, good stuff here and definitely worthy of a major PPV main event.
Punk takes a victory lap around the ring but won’t shake HHH’s hand. The Game doesn’t seem too mad about it and raises Punk’s hand as the winner. HHH leaves, CM Punk poses, and KEVIN NASH comes in through the crowd and lays out Punk with a Jackknife. Cue Alberto Del Rio, briefcase in hand.
Raw World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk
Kick to the head, Del Rio wins the title to end the show. This would turn into one of the stupidest and most ridiculous stories ever with Nash showing a text asking him to lay out Punk but it turned out he sent it to himself for one more moment in the limelight after a big fan reaction at the Royal Rumble. The end result of all this: HHH beating Nash and Punk.
Overall Rating: A. This is a GREAT show with some awesome matches and some great drama at the end. Now to be fair no one knew what the drama would lead to, but it blew my mind when I watched it at first. The rest of the show is awesome though with the worst match being the Divas. If the biggest torture I have to go through all night is looking at Kelly in those shorts and Eve looking gorgeous all dressed up, so be it. Great show here and well worth seeing.
Ratings Comparison
Kofi Kingston/John Morrison/Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/R-Truth
Original: B-
Redo: B-
Sheamus vs. Mark Henry
Original: C
Redo: C+
Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly
Original: C+
Redo: D+
Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan
Original: B
Redo: B+
Randy Orton vs. Christian
Original: B+
Redo: A-
CM Punk vs. John Cena
Original: A+
Redo: B+
CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio
Original: N/A
Redo: N/A
Overall Rating
Original: A+
Redo: A
Ok the main event isn’t THAT good. I think we’re firmly at the point where my ratings are about the same for most matches.
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw – August 10, 2015
So here’s the thing: I really don’t think this show warrants a full on Reviewing the Review. It’s a stand alone show that is built around the drama of “Will Cena be at Summerslam or not.” Well now we know the answer to that question, I really don’t see the need to go through the entire show when nothing major happened and it was built around building to Summerslam, most of which is already set in stone. There were a few interesting things on the show which I’ll cover here, but this won’t be a step by step version of the show, as it would really be a big waste of your time.
Obviously the major story was Orton vs. Cesaro vs. Owens in a triple threat for a shot at the title later in the night, but I don’t think the ending was ever in any serious doubt. Orton winning makes the most sense as he only has a minor story going on right now and you can easily put him in a title match, have him lose, and suffer no harm. Both matches were good, but the Sheamus interference was obvious from the second Orton pinned Cesaro.
There was a long video on Lesnar vs. Undertaker. It went well enough, but there were better ways to set up the match than the 123rd version of “yeah the Streak was amazing and I didn’t think anyone would ever break it but Brock did and it was amazing” from a bunch of midcarders.
Miz, Ryback and Daniel Bryan did some stuff. It’s as riveting as it sounds but I like Ryback more and more every week.
Neville beat King Barrett in a minute and twenty seconds before setting up the tag match with Stepen Amell at Summerslam. I like the idea of Amell in there as he’s in great shape and looks like an athlete, but the Barrett squash just killed me. Bring up someone from NXT for that spot if it’s going to be so short, but find SOMEONE else to take a quick beating like that. It doesn’t accomplish anything and I really don’t want to see Barrett at Summerslam now.
So yeah, Raw was good this week and most of the stuff didn’t need any further discussion. Summerslam is looking great and the final go home show should offer a bit more to talk about.
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Monday Night Raw – August 10, 2015: Wet Hot American Summerslam Build
Monday Night Raw Date: August 10, 2015
Location: Xfinity Arena, Everett, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
We have less than two weeks before Summerslam and the question at the moment is whether or not John Cena is going to be able to defend his US Title in the main event against World Champion Seth Rollins due to his recently broken nose. The majority of the card is set already so the next few shows are just going to be about firming up the existing programs. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Rollins to open the show, complete with another video of the knee to the nose. Rollins is still wondering where Cena is, as he issued his challenge for Summerslam last week but there hasn’t been a reply yet. Where has Cena been? Jamming on the new Dr. Dre album and contemplating reigniting his rap “career?” Cena is straight out of action, not straight out of Compton.
Rollins doesn’t understand why he hasn’t heard from Cena as John is scheduled for Tough Enough tomorrow. If he can be on that show, it makes Seth think that Cena is cowering from the champ. Rollins gets word that Cena is here but it’s via satellite. We get a picture of Cena with only his mouth moving out of a late night talk show sketch.
“Cena”, in Rollins’ voice, says Yabba Dabba Doo and says he’s going to Tough Enough to apply for a new job. It’s gone from Hustle, Loyalty and Respect to surgery, recovery and rehab. Cena is giving up because his nose was so destroyed and there’s no way he can beat Rollins and because he looks like he got a nose job from Picasso.
Seth talks about last week’s WWE World Title Open Challenge but here’s Cesaro to interrupt. Cesaro doesn’t like hearing Rollins going on and on and on and on, but he does like hearing about another Open Challenge. Rollins says not so fast because Cesaro hasn’t earned it, but here’s Kevin Owens to interrupt as well.
Kevin says Cesaro believes in himself because of a bunch of CESARO SECTION signs, but why should either of these two have any say when neither of them can beat John Cena? Cena beat Rollins a few weeks back but Owens pinned Cena, so he should get the shot. Now it’s Rollins coming out to make fun of Owens’ gut and Cesaro’s glasses but Rollins says Tom Brady has a better chance of getting a free meal in Seattle than any of them do of getting a title shot tonight, so they can all get out of here.
This brings out HHH, who didn’t like Rollins saying he doesn’t care what the Authority thinks. The doctors have told him that Cena is 50/50 for Summerslam, so Rollins might need a backup opponent. Therefore, tonight there’s going to be a triple threat match with Cesaro vs. Orton vs. Owens, and the winner gets a title shot against Rollins TONIGHT. There were some funny lines in here, which makes me think the WWE writers had nothing to do with it. This also ran too long, which isn’t surprising as they could have cut this WAY down.
Team BAD vs. Team Bella
PCB (their new name after an adult site had already taken Submission Sorority. You can’t make that stuff up) is on commentary. In an inset interview, Team BAD debuts the term Belladashians and I want to reach for a gun. Naomi elbows Fox in the face to start but it’s off to Nikki for two off a back elbow. BAD takes over on the champ though with Naomi doing her corner wiggle, earning her a spinebuster from Nikki for two. Nikki’s spinning kick out of the corner drops Naomi again and we take a break.
Back with Sasha getting two on Nikki as PCB laughs at the idea of the Bellas starting the Divas Revolution. Nikki finally gets free and makes the hot tag to Brie, who is as over as she’s ever been since it’s her husband’s home territory. Brie cleans house as everything breaks down but Tamina gets in a few good shots. The superkick is loaded up but Brie gets a HORRIBLE looking rollup for the pin on Tamina at 9:00. Come on, it’s a ROLLUP. How can you not do that properly?
Rating: C. This was fine for the most part but the ending sequence was a letdown. I like the idea of putting Brie in there where she’s going to be popular, but I’m getting really tired of the Bellas not knowing if they’re faces or heels from one week to another. You can’t have their personalities on Total Divas and then expect people to cheer for them on Raw. Well at least you can’t if you have the slightest bit of intelligence about you.
Everyone brawls post match and the Bellas and Fox are knocked to the floor, leaving everyone else to have a staredown. So much for winning meaning anything.
Stephen Amell is here.
New Day vs. Los Matadores
Kofi’s grin as he skips to the ring is greatness. New Day takes over early on and we hit the rotating stomps on Diego in the corner as Woods plays cheerleader on the floor. Big E. slams Diego down for two but he misses a charge into the post. The tag brings in Fernando to speed things up with some weird shouting and a springboard flip dive to take Kofi down. Woods gets Kofi out of the way of a charge but Torito takes him over with a hurricanrana. The Midnight Hour is enough to put Fernando away at 4:01.
Rating: D+. It’s just a squash but it’s nice to get the Matadores out of the running for the title shot. I don’t think anyone would have bought them in there and it never would have worked. I’m really hoping we aren’t stuck with New Day vs. Prime Time Players again but adding another team or two would spruce things right up.
Post break New Day is dancing and singing in the back when Renee Young comes in and says it’s New Day vs. the Prime Time Players vs. Los Matadores vs. Lucha Dragons. New Day thinks we should just add Doom, Men on a Mission and Harlem Heat but then decide that a four way is fine. Renee even joins in on the clapping. I’m very glad WWE has basically said Los Matadores losing there meant nothing as they’re instantly in the title match anyway. Why do we watch these TV matches again?
HHH gives Rollins a pep talk. It’s a wonder that Rollins isn’t sitting on his daddy’s knee for this one.
We recap Reigns issuing a challenge on Smackdown for himself/Ambrose vs. Wyatt/Harper at Summerslam, which was accepted at the end of the show. Take note, as this is one of the only times all year that something actually happens on Summerslam.
Cesaro vs. Randy Orton vs. Kevin Owens
No one gets an entrance as they’re all in the ring when we come back from a break. Owens gets double teamed to start so he bails to the floor, leaving Orton to roll Cesaro up for a fast two. Cesaro can’t swing Owens so he gets two off a double stomp instead. Orton pops back up for a pair of t-bone suplexes but Owens is able to post Cesaro and snap Orton’s throat across the top rope.
A backsplash gets two on Randy as this is very fast paced so far. The fans are behind Kevin as he hammers Orton down in the corner. Cesaro comes back in and Orton is sent to the floor. That’s fine with Owens who knocks Cesaro outside with him, only to have Orton drop Cesaro back first onto the barricade. Owens drops Cesaro onto the barricade as well but Orton sends Kevin into it so he won’t feel left out.
All three get back in with Owens busting out a string of European uppercuts, only to walk into Orton’s backbreaker. Cesaro high cross bodies Orton for two more but he has to counter the RKO into a Crossface. Randy grabs a rope but it doesn’t count in a triple threat because it’s No DQ, so Orton crawls to the floor for the break. Owens knocks Cesaro to the floor and hits a flip dive to take both guys out as we take a break, with Cesaro holding his knee.
Back with Cesaro on his feet in the corner but getting sent into the buckle for the Cannonball to give Owens another near fall. Owens goes up top but has to fight off a superplex. That’s fine for one person, but Orton and Cesaro are easily able to double superplex him down in a cool looking visual. It’s Cesaro covering for two but Orton will have none of that.
They slug it out instead and Randy gets swung, setting up the Sharpshooter. Cesaro lets go because of Owens, but the Swing is kicked away, sending Cesaro into Orton. Randy is fine enough to powerslam Owens though, sending both guys to the apron for a double Orton DDT.
Cesaro breaks up the RKO and hits a nice dive to take Owens out, followed by a springboard twisting European uppercut for two. That was one heck of a sequence. Cesaro takes Owens up to but gets shoved down, only to put his knees up to block the Swanton. A superkick takes Cesaro’s head off but it’s an RKO to block the Pop Up Powerbomb. Cesaro eats an RKO as well, giving Orton the pin and the title shot at 18:15.
Rating: B+. Yeah Orton won, but if Cesaro won here and lost to Rollins tonight, people would have complained about Cesaro getting pinned. On the other hand, if Owens won here and lost to Rollins tonight, people would have complained about Owens getting pinned. Now on the third hand (find a friend who will lend you a hand), Orton can win and then lose to Rollins and people will only complain about it being Orton in the main event slot again, as it was pretty clear he would be when he came out for the opening segment. Really good match of course, as you would expect with those three in there.
Ambrose said he didn’t have a friend growing up, but it’s nice to have one now so he can get bailed out of jail in Laredo. Reigns thinks Wyatt wouldn’t do anything for Harper because they’re not family. Ambrose knows how Reigns likes his coffee, water and beer, which is proof that they’re brothers. Believe that.
We get quick thoughts from various legends and wrestlers about the history of Undertaker and how amazing the Streak really was. Heyman wants to hear about the myth of Brock Lesnar, which leads to a variety of people talking about how unique Brock’s skills really are and how you can only hope to survive instead of defeating him.
We see some clips of the Streak ending and people talk about what a shock it was. Heyman’s look of astonishment when the pin actually happened was perfect. Then fifteen months later Undertaker interrupted Brock squashing Rollins at Battleground and a huge brawl ensued the next night on Raw. The talking heads are split on their pick for Summerslam. This was every “they’re both so awesome” segment you’ve ever seen.
Undertaker and Lesnar will both be here next week, in Brock’s hometown of Minneapolis.
Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper
Reigns and Wyatt are at ringside. Ambrose slugs away at Harper to start as I think we get a SEA-HAWKS chant early on. A big side slam plants Dean for two but he low bridges Harper to the floor for a running standing elbow from the apron as we take an early break. Back with Harper Gator Rollins Harper and putting on a chinlock. Wyatt has taken Byron’s chair so Byron is left standing. Fans: “SIT DOWN BYRON!”
Ambrose fights out of a chinlock and scores with a tornado DDT but Dirty Deeds is countered. The fight spills outside with Dean blasting Wyatt over the table and heading back inside for the rebound clothesline on Harper. Reigns intercepts Bray before he can interfere but eats a superkick from Harper. That earns Harper a suicide dive from Ambrose but Dean gets crotched back inside. The discus clothesline puts Dean away at 9:35.
Rating: C. I liked this more than I would have expected to given how many times we’ve seen them fight. The tag match at Summerslam should be fun, but it doesn’t quite feel like a huge match. It’s still not really clear why Wyatt hates Reigns, but at least there’s enough of a backstory there to warrant another match.
It’s time for MizTV, but first of all Miz has to rip on Amell, saying that once Stardust runs through him, call Miz up for some rebranding and acting lessons. Tonight’s guest is Daniel Bryan and it take a bit for the chants to wear down. Miz asks for quiet so the chants get even louder. Bryan, in a funny timid voice: “Miz wants you to shut up so you better be quiet!”
Bryan finally gets a chance to speak and says he isn’t just here to be on MizTV. Of course he wasn’t going to miss Raw in Washington and it’s time for that SEA-HAWKS chant again. Miz reminds the people that he’s a Cleveland Browns fan (that explains so much) before bringing up mentoring Bryan on the first season of NXT. Bryan mocks Miz’s Hollywood career and wardrobe, but thinks that his own accomplishments are due to hard work and all the fans around the world. Miz asks about Bryan’s medical status, which is still not great. That brings Bryan to his new book, which is a New York Times bestseller, and Tough Enough.
Miz goes on to Ryback and the Intercontinental Title, which should be awarded to Miz after all this waiting. Cue Big Show to call Miz a cross dressing Jedi manure spreader. The fans tell Big Show to retire but he says find someone to retire him. This brings out the returning Ryback so Miz bails, but Bryan throws him back inside to meet the monsters. Ryback cleans house and poses with Bryan to end things.
Video on Charlotte.
It’s a three team Divas elimination tag at Summerslam.
Mark Henry vs. Rusev
Lana is on commentary and confirms that Dolph will be back after Summerslam. Summer quickly gets on the apron for a distraction but Lana pulls her down. That’s fine with Rusev who superkicks Henry down, only to have both girls come in for the no contest at 1:07.
Summer puts Lana in the Accolade and a Rusev flag falls.
We recap Neville vs. Stardust over the last week.
Neville vs. King Barrett
Neville starts fast, kicks Barrett in the head and scores with the Red Arrow for the pin at 1:20. Total and complete squash because that’s what Barrett does.
Stardust comes in to lay Neville out but stops for a staredown with Amell. He knocks Amell’s hat off and Stephen jumps the railing, jumps to the apron and jumps over the top rope to tackle Stardust in a pretty impressive athletic display. Security quickly breaks it up.
After a break HHH yells at Amell, but Stephen wants a tag match at Summerslam. HHH laughs the idea off, but Amell shouts him down and offers to sign any waivers he has to sign. Ever the genius, HHH agrees to a tag match between Wade Barrett (yes Wade)/Stardust vs. Amell/Neville at Summerslam. HHH: “Don’t bring a stunt man.”
Sheamus doesn’t care if Rollins or Orton wins tonight because he might just cash in on either of them.
WWE World Title: Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins
Rollins is defending and stalls on the floor early on. The champ comes in and the threat of an RKO sends him bailing to the floor as we go to the final commercial. Back with Rollins holding a chinlock before Orton makes a comeback with clotheslines and the powerslam for two. That’s enough for Seth as he goes outside to get the belt, only to eat another clothesline from Orton. He drops Rollins on the announcers’ table before they head back inside where Seth nails the low superkick.
The champ gets crotched on top and superplexed down for two. Orton can’t follow up but is able to counter the Pedigree, only to have his DDT countered. Rollins his one of his own and teases the RKO but settles for another failed Pedigree attempt. Orton backdrops him to the apron for the springboard knee but Seth dives into the RKO (in one of those spots where he was clearly just diving that way so he could dive into the move), drawing in Sheamus for the DQ at 13:38.
Rating: C+. Yeah fine. I think we all knew this was the ending and there was nothing wrong with that as they weren’t going to change the title just two weeks before Summerslam. Good enough match though as these two have chemistry, but they need to get off this Sheamus vs. Orton stuff already because it’s really not interesting.
Post match Sheamus Brogue Kicks Rollins and goes to cash in but eats the RKO to end the show.
Overall Rating: B-. Not a great show this week but they moved things forward going into Summerslam and that’s all that mattered. I’m digging the idea of the title being defended on TV as even though it’s highly unlikely that we’d see a title change, the mere chance that it could happen makes the match feel better. I liked this show a lot better than the recent weeks and while it’s sill not excellent, at least it’s a step in the right direction and the kind of show they needed to have tonight.
Results
Team Bella b. Team BAD – Rollup to Tamina
New Day b. Los Matadores – Midnight Hour to Fernando
Randy Orton b. Cesaro and Kevin Owens – RKO to Cesaro
Luke Harper b. Dean Ambrose – Discus lariat
Rusev vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest when Lana and Summer Rae interfered
Neville b. King Barrett – Red Arrow
Randy Orton b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Sheamus interfered
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Reviewing the Review: Monday Night Raw – July 20, 2015
This one could be interesting as I barely remember the show as I was falling asleep due to a long day of traveling. This is the fallout show from Battleground where Undertaker returned (again. There’s probably a three disc set of Undertaker returns ready to be made) to go after Brock Lesnar and set up the main event of Summerslam. We’re on the road to the second biggest show of the year so let’s get to it.
They opened as they should have, with Undertaker coming out and saying streaks are made to be broken. The gist of this was Undertaker being annoyed at Heyman and Lesnar for bragging about breaking the Streak over and over for the last fifteen months. To be fair, it is getting a bit old. The big story later in the night would be Heyman coming out to brag even more when Undertaker appeared, triggering a massive brawl, broken up by the locker room.
There isn’t much to say here because the whole thing was awesome, but more importantly, they let it feel awesome. They let this thing feel like a brawl between two monsters, but I’m not sure how the match is going to go. Do you really want Undertaker to get suplexed all over the place? Undertaker isn’t going to be a heel in this match no matter what they do, and thankfully they didn’t seem to be trying to make him one. Anyway, the segments really worked and the match should be good, though I emphasize should.
Oh and there was something about the Authority wanting to prevent the match from being broken up. I stop caring when they’re talking most of the time so I’m not sure what their issue was.
Charlotte beat Brie Bella in a totally watchable match. Brie still isn’t great in the ring and probably never will be, but she’s to the point where she can have a watchable match with someone talented like Charlotte. Also, nice touch on not having Charlotte get beaten yet, though I have a feeling she will when she comes up against Nikki because All Hail The Bellas.
Los Matadores beat the Prime Time Players in a non-title match because there was nothing better to do than to have New Day distract the champions so the low level team can beat them in a match that isn’t going to lead anywhere.
Big Show beat Miz in a quick match that I think was supposed to make us care about the giant again. He then challenged Ryback to a fight on Tough Enough to try to make people watch it. It says a lot when Big Show is considered a draw.
Roman Reigns beat Luke Harper via DQ when Bray Wyatt interfered. This seems to be setting up a tag match at Summerslam with Ambrose coming in to help out his brother. I’d be interested in seeing them bring in a third man each, but bringing in Sting would be one of the lamest ideas they could have as it would overshadow the story they’re shooting for with Reigns vs. Wyatt, as well as making people clamor for Wyatt vs. Sting because they’re both supernatural or something and that instantly means you would want to see them fight.
Rollins bragged about keeping the title, Cena came out and said Rollins needed to take the title more seriously, and nothing else happened. I’m really hoping they’re not setting up champion vs. champion, but given how the ratings have been going, it seems like we’re getting back towards Cena on top as he’s the only one that can really move things these days. And since the idea of ever pushing anyone as a big star is foreign to WWE, this is what we’re stuck with for now.
Sasha Banks and Naomi beat Paige and Becky Lynch in another pretty good match. This actually got thirteen minutes and didn’t feel long, which is more than you would ever expect out of a Divas match. The division has gotten the big boost that it needs, but they really need to go somewhere with it in the next few weeks. There’s more than enough time to have it be the big blow away story they need and thankfully Stephanie hasn’t been a thing for the most part.
The main event was a six man tag with Cena/Orton/Cesaro beating Sheamus/Owens/Rusev in a match that actually tied things up in a nice package to end the show. That’s not something you often see but it worked well enough one time. Other than that though, the big story was Owens and Sheamus walking out on their partner, leaving Rusev to take a big beating. Combine this with Rusev being the default face in his match with Owens on Smackdown and……no I don’t think they’re turning Rusev.
Owens leaving makes sense as he lives to fight another day and I guess the same is true for Sheamus, though it’s still not the best result in the world. Based on what happened on Smackdown we’re going to get Cesaro vs. Owens at Summerslam and since we just NEED the Ziggler vs. Rusev showdown, there’s no turning it into a triple threat. It would be nice to have a title for them to fight over, but we need champion vs. champion for reasons that aren’t entirely clear.
Overall Raw was just kind of there with almost all of the focus being on Undertaker vs. Lesnar. Rollins will have his day soon enough and a win over Cena at one of the biggest show of the year would help him a lot, though I have a feeling Cena would get the title to make things all better again.
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Sounds legit. I’d assume we get Miz vs. Big Show or a talking segment, but I’d love it if their time was given to Cesaro and/or Rusev. Those guys deserve it after their performances Monday, and I’m sure a lot of fans will be annoyed if they don’t make it on but Barrett vs. Truth for the crown makes it instead.
Monday Night Raw – June 29, 2015: What A Shock
Monday Night Raw Date: June 29, 2015
Location: Verizon Center, Washington, D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
Battleground is on the horizon and the Authority seems to be reunited to help Seth Rollins defend his World Title against Brock Lesnar. This means Kane and Joey Mercury at the moment, as Lesnar injured Jamie Noble last week, meaning there aren’t many obstacles for Lesnar to overcome to get to Rollins. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap shows the ending of last week’s show with Lesnar being laid out by the devastating forces of Kane, Mercury and Rollins. I’m so glad they had Lesnar get beaten up as he was getting way too close to feeling like something special and they needed to cut his legs out from underneath him. Well, maybe just the toes or so as Lesnar is going to be fine.
Here’s the Authority, complete with the secret weapon of Noble, to open things up. This is officially Monday Night Rollins, because Rollins has been watching some old Nitro matches. Perhaps on the WWE Network for $9.99? He talks about the power in this city, which you attain by doing things no one else could do. Rollins did something that Cena and even the Undertaker couldn’t do, as he conquered the conqueror last week. Suplex City was burned to the ground and Lesnar is now on his way to Japan.
That’s what he deserves after what Lesnar did to Noble last week. We even get a quick Jamie Noble chant because these fans are that intelligent. They’re quickly tossed aside though as Rollins demands that the fans show Noble the respect that he deserves. However, it’s time for presents! Rollins has Apple Watches for everyone, likely fulfilling a product placement agreement. Kane is getting a bonus though. He debuted back in 1997 (that really shouldn’t be brought up) and a lot of things have changed since then.
Bill Clinton was in charge, the internet was dial-up and Paul Heyman was fat and disgusting…..so not everything has changed. In all that time, Kane hasn’t asked for a thing, so Rollins is sending him to…….Hawaii, complete with a picture saying Hawaii, thereby making this a complete copy of the segment where Rocky Maivia took over the Nation, giving the members watches and Faarooq a picture of Rocky himself.
As a hula dancer and ukelele player come out to complete the mood, Kane is looking forward to deciding which animal to throw into a volcano, but Rollins thinks they should team up to destroy Ambrose and Reigns in a No DQ tag match tonight. Rollins still isn’t done though as he has a 2015 Cadillac for the Stooges to travel in. The guys celebrate as Rollins lists off the price and features. I was right about that product placement it seems. This goes on until Big Show comes out for his match.
The tag match later is presented by the new Terminator movie. I’m sure some people will get annoyed by this but it’s money for the company in like 30 seconds. It’s not the worst thing in the world.
Big Show vs. Mark Henry
Oh….yay. Miz is on commentary to cheer for Henry but Show pounds Mark into the corner with right hands (which are the size of typewriters according to JR), only to have Henry knock him down and hit a splash for two. Not that it matters as two big right hands knock Henry silly for the pin at 1:24.
Ryback (sans belt) hits the ring to take Show down with a shoulder to the leg. Miz runs in to kick Ryback in the jaw, so Ryback wants their match to happen right now.
Miz vs. Ryback
Non-title., but now Ryback has the belt. I know it doesn’t mean as much today but it disappears? Miz tries to stomp him down but gets his head slammed into the mat for his efforts. Ryback whips him across the ring with authority (not THE Authority of course. Like they’d be involved with the Intercontinental Title), followed by a totally ridiculous FORTY SECOND delayed vertical suplex.
Miz bails to the floor but comes back with a short DDT for two, setting up a nice face pull. A chinlock goes nowhere but the Reality Check gets two more. That’s it for Ryback as he comes back with a spinebuster but the threat of a Meat Hook sends Miz running for the countout (the rare three count countout before the referee just says screw it and ends the match) at 5:11.
Rating: D. I would say this is what you would expect, but what you would actually expect is for Miz to beat him off a rollup when Big Show distracted Ryback. The triple threat match really isn’t doing anything for me, but at least there’s an actual feud over the title instead of just a one off match for a change.
Alicia Fox vs. Paige
Alicia comes out to the Bellas’ music and has them at ringside. Paige takes her down into an armbar to start and drives a knee into the face for two. Some kicks in the corner don’t bother Paige much as she hits a Thesz press, only to have the Bellas offer a distraction so Alicia can take over again as we go to a break. Back with Fox standing on the hair before we hit the chinlock.
As the fans start falling asleep due to the rest hold, the Bellas are right there with the COME ON (insert name here) shouting. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Paige and it’s back to the chinlock. Two chinlocks in a match this show tells me that Fox has no idea where to go on offense. Paige comes back with her three clotheslines and a kick to the face for two. Nikki tries a distraction so Fox can roll her up, only to have Paige roll through (with nothing on Fox’s arms, meaning there’s no reason she didn’t kick out) for the pin at 9:43.
Rating: D. The idea was fine here but it’s very clear that Fox had no business controlling most of a match this long. Paige vs. Nikki could be good, but I don’t buy for a second that Paige is going to win as Nikki just MUST get the Divas Title record so we never think of AJ Lee again. I mean, that would just change so many things right?
Here’s John Cena for the US Title Open Challenge (with the promo during the entrance instead of in the ring)…..and here’s Kevin Owens! I’ll ignore Cole calling this a budding rivalry because Cole is that big of a schnook when he stops thinking.
US Title: Kevin Owens vs. John Cena
Owens drops to the floor after the Big Match Intros and says he’ll just wait for Battleground. He’ll take the US Title there, but maybe this man can do it instead.
US Title: Cesaro vs. John Cena
Owens joins commentary, which should be entertaining stuff. Thankfully they’re immediately talking about the Balor vs. Owens NXT Title match this coming Saturday. Cena starts with a headlock and monkey flip to send Cesaro into the corner, meaning it’s time for a standoff. This time it’s Cesaro putting on a headlock before planting Cena with a powerslam, followed by a crucifix of all things for two.
The AA is countered and Cesaro drops Cena with a right hand for another near fall. As usual, why make things more complicated than they need to be? Off to an abdominal stretch on the mat as Owens talks about having what it takes to be a real champion. A dropkick staggers Cesaro but he casually slugs Cena down and gets two off a crossface punch to the head.
Back from a break with Cesaro trying a Sharpshooter of all things but Cena kicks him away, only to take a big clothesline for two. Cesaro loads up the Swing but opts for a catapult instead, only to have Cena bounce back into something similar to a springboard Stunner (it barely connected) for two of his own. Cesaro flips out of the AA and hits a massive Swiss Death for two more.
There’s the STF but Cesaro rolls out, adjusts his legs and turns the hold over into the Sharpshooter. That was Hart vs. Perfect-esque. Cena makes a rope though and Cesaro’s frustration is setting in. Owens: “Cena is in trouble. Not as much trouble as he’ll be in at Battleground but close enough.”
The apron superplex puts Cena down again as Cole thinks this is going to be a match of the year candidate. It kind of loses its appeal if you keep saying it over and over again, which is why a lot of Cole’s commentary gets old. And yes, I’m aware it’s mainly him being fed lines. Cena gets two more off a tornado DDT and they slug it out until Cesaro tries a high cross body, only to have Cena roll through into…..actually not the AA as he spins Cesaro forward into a faceplant for another near fall.
Owens gets up and swings at Cole for praising Cena, who is dropkicked off the top rope and out to the floor. Back in and Cena tries a sunset flip but has to settle for a sunset bomb for yet another two. There’s a Neutralizer out of nowhere but Cena kicks out again. A spinebuster sets up the Swing (good idea to have a power move set it up. It’s weird when he just grabs the legs) which sets up the Sharpshooter but Owens comes in for the DQ at 20:20.
Rating: B+. Can Cena have a bad match at the moment? The guy is on one heck of a roll, which says a lot given how good he normally is. Cesaro using the Sharpshooter is fine but debuting it against Cena isn’t the best idea as Cena hasn’t tapped out in about thirteen years. Very good match here, but did you really expect anything else?
Kevin powerbombs both guys and says if anyone is taking the title off Cena, it’s going to be him. Owens comes off as such a jerk on commentary and I love it very much.
Tonight, Dolph Ziggler and Lana are going public. Oh man this is going to be bad isn’t it?
We get what I think is the same recap that opened the show. That’s quite the use of another three minutes.
Bray Wyatt pops up on screen with the ANYONE BUT YOU picture of Reigns. He wants Reigns to open his eyes to see the truth and close his mouth so no more lies can be spread. Wyatt wasn’t his father’s favorite because his father threw him away like a piece of trash. I wonder if IRS wrote that off his taxes. Wyatt has his wings back now though and Reigns knows everything Bray stands for. There will be no distractions at Battlegrounds because the insects that watch them every week are inconsequential. They’re the yin to each others yang and Bray will be Roman’s crown of suffering. Anyone but you Roman. Run.
Lucha Dragons/Prime Time Players vs. New Day/Bo Dallas
JBL: “We lucha on Monday nights!” We get a clip of Rock’s big surprise appearance at a house show over the weekend where he laid out Dallas, which is a GREAT advertisement for the house show circuit. It’s the same thing as when they would occasionally have a title change and then turn it right back soon after. No it’s not going to happen all the time, but make the people think it could and you can sell some more tickets.
Woods and Kalisto get things going with the masked one flipping off the top rope into a wristdrag as JBL says the Dragons remind him of the APA days. Off to Cara vs. Dallas with Sin cranking on the arm, only to have Darren come in for his standing Earthquake splash for two. Titus comes in to throw Dallas around with ease, which is a really simple yet effective power move. Kalisto doesn’t have the same luck as Bo knees him in the head to finally take over.
Back to Young for a chinlock as the match slows down. The belly to back suplex onto the apron plants Dallas again and the threat of a huge brawl sends us to a break. We come back with Woods holding Kalisto in a cobra clutch (that’s a move that has gotten a lot more popular recently) but it’s quickly off to Cara to flip around and kick Big E. in the head.
E. isn’t in enough trouble to get caught in the Gut Check though as he shoves Young to the floor to take over. We get the rotating stomps before it’s back to Bo for the chinlock. That goes nowhere and the hot tag brings in Titus and everything breaks down. The Dragons hit big stereo dives, allowing Titus to hit a sitout spinebuster for the pin on Kofi at 14:35.
Rating: D+ Longer match than they needed to have here and I’m not wild on New Day losing again before their big rematch. That’s why you bring in someone like Dallas: to take the fall and keep the New Day looking as strong as possible, but since WWE never actually thinks these things through, this is what we get. At least the champions didn’t lose though.
Here are Dolph and Lana for their big moment. Originally they weren’t on the best of terms because Lana was just trying to get back at Rusev. Then things changed, Ziggler is a real man, and Lana cares for him. Rusev finally hobbles out with Summer Rae by his side. He never cared about Lana because kissing her was like kissing the ring post.
Ziggler cuts him off and calls Lana his girlfriend and violence is teased, but Summer grabs the mic and calls Lana a gold digger. She was with Rusev when he won the US Title, but as soon as that was gone, so was Lana. That’s enough for Lana and the fight is on, with the fans seemingly very pleased when Lana’s skirt comes up. The match could be a disaster but the moment wasn’t bad.
Ambrose talks to some Terminators when Reigns comes in and assures Dean that he’s ready. Dean is the only family Reigns has around here and they’re ready to rage.
Neville vs. Sheamus
Before the match we get a cool video of Neville being turned into a comic book superhero. I actually said he wrestled like a superhero when I saw him at a house show a few months back so they really nailed the idea here. Sheamus takes him down to the mat with a headlock as the announcers debate Neville beating him in the King of the Ring. JBL: “Nobody remembers who came second to Usain Bolt.” Cole: “We did.” JBL: “Well you’re nobody.”
Neville kicks him to the floor and Sheamus grabs the briefcase for comfort as we take a break. Back with Sheamus hitting the Regal Roll and a release suplex for no cover. Instead Sheamus just smiles like a bully is supposed to do. The fans think this is boring, so Sheamus puts his hand to his ear and slaps on a chinlock. Now THAT is a great heel move. No sarcasm there if it’s not clear.
Neville kicks him in the face for a breather but Sheamus calmly hits three straight Irish Curses to regain control. Sheamus gets low bridged to the floor though, setting up a great looking Asai moonsault. Back in and Sheamus gets kicked in the head again but is still able to kick the ropes for a huge crash to break up the Red Arrow. The Brogue Kick ends Neville at 12:41.
Rating: C. This was fine and again I like that they’re pushing Sheamus instead of having him go on the stupid, stupid losing streak that has become the trend for Money in the Bank winners. I’m hoping Neville can bounce back from this as it felt like a downgrade for him, but there’s a very good chance that it’s a one off loss and nothing else. The superhero video was a very nice touch and gives me hope.
Jack Swagger vs. King Barrett
Before the match, Barrett demands that all of his opponents must bow down to him. Swagger will have none of that so Barrett bails to the floor to start. Back in and Swagger throws him down with ease and gets the Patriot Lock with Barrett already in the ropes. Well he’s a hoss you see so you can’t expect that much intelligence. Jack runs into a knee in the corner and the Bull Hammer ends this at 1:47.
Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. Kane/Seth Rollins
No DQ. The Stooges come out in the Cadillac. It’s a brawl to start as it should be with Rollins quickly being knocked out to the floor. Kane gets double teamed but Rollins gets back in to shove Ambrose off the top rope. Back from an early break with Rollins holding Reigns in a chinlock and the partners on the apron, because WWE doesn’t get what NO DISQUALIFICATION means. Reigns fights away from Kane and it’s a double tag to bring in Ambrose and Rollins.
Dean quickly cleans house and knocks Rollins to the floor. It’s weapons time with a table getting things started. As if the fans didn’t love Dean enough already. The Stooges pull it away so Reigns comes back with a bunch of kendo stick shots to Mercury, followed by three straight Superman Punches to various evildoers. Speaking of evil, cue Bray Wyatt to take out Reigns, including a Rock Bottom onto the announcers’ table. Dean can’t fight them off alone though and it’s a chokeslam and Pedigree for the pin at 11:45.
Rating: C. Again, this was totally fine and they covered all the bases they needed to cover here. Wyatt costing Reigns the match makes perfect sense and at least the pin on Ambrose took two people. It’s a pretty standard main event tag, but I’m glad they made it no DQ to avoid the same tired ending we always get.
Post match Reigns saves Dean from a TripleBomb through the table but Kane chokeslams him down too. Reigns fights back again but is finally thrown through the table in the corner. Another Pedigree puts Reigns down, leaving Wyatt to come back in (where was he for the last eight minutes?) and hit Sister Abigail to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. Well it took me three days and…..eh. I’m not at all surprised as it wasn’t the best looking show in the world but at least it had the awesome Cena vs. Cesaro match (I’m as shocked as you are) and a few other good things in there as well. The Ziggler/Lana segment started off looking bad but Lana getting physical was long overdue. The show wasn’t too bad and had more than enough moments to make it work. Good enough stuff here, but the car actually survived. That’s quite the shock.
Results
Big Show b. Mark Henry – KO Punch
Ryback b. Miz via countout
Paige b. Alicia Fox – Rollup
Cesaro b. John Cena via DQ when Kevin Owens interfered
Prime Time Players/Lucha Dragons b. New Day/Bo Dallas – Sitout spinebuster to Kingston
Sheamus b. Neville – Brogue Kick
King Barrett b. Jack Swagger – Bull Hammer
Kane/Seth Rollins b. Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns – Pedigree to Ambrose
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Smackdown Date: June 11, 2015
Location: CajunDome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips, Jerry Lawler
It’s the last show before we get to Money in the Bank, meaning it’s the last time we have to cram an entire pay per view build into two weeks for a very long time. The big story coming out of Monday is Ambrose using Instagram (just go with it) to warn Rollins that he was coming, only to lay Seth out again to end the show. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Ambrose, wearing a ton of Mardi Gras beads, coming through the crowd to open things up. He holds up the title and says let the good times roll because he’s been having a good time on Bourbon Street. Ambrose takes us through the Instagram pictures from Monday, thankfully pointing out that the ticket wasn’t real and that Reigns just saved him a seat. After a clip of the main event from Raw, Ambrose promises to drop Seth on his head with Dirty Deeds and take the World Title for real this Sunday.
Cue Rollins who says Ambrose is just like all the other scum in this arena: not in his league. Rollins wants the title back and Dean drops it right in the middle of the ring. The champ picks it up but realizes it’s just a replica because the title is somewhere between here and New Orleans. Dean: “It’s been a blurry few days. It still feels like Tuesday to me.” Kane comes out and brings up Mercury and Noble beating Rollins on Monday when he was all alone. Tonight he gets to be alone all over again against Dolph Ziggler. As usual, Ambrose and Rollins have a great promo when people just leave them alone.
Ryback vs. Miz
Non-title. Miz bails to the floor to take off the sunglasses and has his sunset flip attempt countered by having his head slammed into the mat. A ridiculous 26 seconds vertical suplex sends Miz outside again but he throws Ryback over the announcers’ table as we take a break. Back with Ryback fighting out of a chinlock and hitting a backpack Stunner. A powerslam gets two for the champ but Miz kicks him in the head to set up the Figure Four.
That goes nowhere (just like always because it’s a horrible move for Miz to use) as Ryback powers out, only to take a short DDT for two more. The threat of a Meat Hook sends Miz to the floor but Ryback runs him down out there just as easily. Back in and Shell Shock is countered into the Skull Crushing Finale for two and Miz is stunned. Ever the genius, Miz tries a Meat Hook of his own but takes the real thing, setting up Shell Shock to give the champion the pin at 7:44.
Rating: C. This was fine for what it was and served the purpose of giving Ryback a nice win. Miz is settling into this midcard role as he loses his matches but is able to talk himself right back into being hated all over again due to pure delusion. Ryback vs. Big Show isn’t going to be anything great but at least the Shell Shock at the end will be good. Assuming of course WWE doesn’t feel the need to feed someone else to Big Show for reasons I’ll never fathom.
Post match here’s Big Show who says he doesn’t impress easily with over twenty years of experience (not quite as he debuted in October 1995). The Shell Shock was fine on Monday but this Sunday ends with one of these right hands. He’s holding up his left hand but close enough. Ryback says he’ll have the fans in his corner on Sunday so bring it right now, little man. As expected, Show turns him down.
Tough Enough finalists, including former OVW TV Champion Michael Hayes (not that Michael Hayes. This one only has one leg).
Jack Swagger vs. King Barrett
R-Truth is on commentary before his pre-show match with Barrett on Sunday and has decided that he should be King after beating Barrett recently. He also thinks he’s in the ladder match on Sunday. Barrett stomps Jack down in the corner to start as Truth puts on the robe. The distraction breaks up the Bullhammer and Jack nails a big clothesline on the floor followed by a Vader Bomb for two. The Patriot Lock is broken up and the Bullhammer gives Barrett the pin at 2:23.
Truth has disappeared.
More Tough Enough finalists.
We recap the Bellas’ Twin Magic from a few weeks back and Paige being sick of the whole thing.
Alicia Fox yells at Paige and there’s going to be a match later. I really wish WWE would mix up this kind of thing. We’re long past the suspension of disbelief that a package on the Divas would air then there just happened to be a camera on Paige when Fox came up to challenge her. All you need is to say this happened earlier in the day.
This week’s sitdown interview is with Lana, who says she and Dolph read books together and talk about things. Rusev comes in again and says don’t ruin this. Ziggler has been with a bunch of other women but Rusev has only been with her. Lana says it’s over and leaves so Rusev scares Cole away.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins
Non-title and Seth is on his own. The champ takes it to the mat with a headlock but Ziggler counters into an armbar to send Seth to the ropes. Back to the headlock on Dolph for a bit before the threat of a superkick sends Rollins out to the floor. They’re still in first gear here as Rollins takes a breather. Back in and Dolph hammers away in the corner, only to get caught in an electric chair for two. The standard chinlock kills some time as the fans want Lana. Speak for yourselves. I don’t want her and Ziggler anywhere near each other.
Dolph fights up and a Cactus Clothesline puts both guys outside, where Rollins catapults him over the barricade as we take a break. We come back with Ziggler slugging away until Rollins drops him with a Sling Blade for two. Well at least it wasn’t another chinlock. Ziggler comes back with a backdrop to put Rollins on the floor, followed by the running DDT for two. The Buckle Bomb is countered into a rollup for two and the Fameasser gets the same. Dolph keeps speeding things up and goes to the top for a high cross body but Rollins rolls through and grabs the trunks for the pin at 13:53.
Rating: B-. Nice main event style match here with Rollins getting the kind of a win he should be getting. Ziggler doesn’t lose anything either and everyone comes out looking fine. It’s very nice to see them breaking from the same pattern that they’ve been having for months for Rollins as it was getting repetitive.
Remember the two times we’ve seen Tough Enough finalists already? Make it three.
Paige vs. Alicia Fox
Paige takes her down to start and cranks on a reverse chinlock for a bit before Fox takes her down and puts on a chinlock. They aren’t exactly dishing out the creativity. At least Fox adds in some knees to the head to mix things up. A big boot to the face gets two on Paige but she snaps Fox’s throat across the ropes. This is her house, which makes me wonder how much a Diva makes since Paige must have 40 houses around the country. The PTO makes Fox tap at 4:46.
Rating: D. They did a good enough job of making Paige look good going into Sunday but I don’t buy her as having a chance at taking the title because All Hail the Bellas. It didn’t help that the match was nearly half chinlock. You really shouldn’t need two of those in a match that doesn’t last five minutes.
Long recap of Owens vs. Cena to set up the rematch on Sunday. The first match was great and I really hope Owens just walks out on the second because he has nothing to gain.
The Prime Time Players say they’re like butter because they’re on a roll. Whole wheat and gluten free that is. They incorporate the clap into the Millions of Dollars dance and even Renee joins in.
Final batch of Tough Enough finalists, including the Big O.
Roman Reigns/Randy Orton/Neville vs. Sheamus/Kane/Kofi Kingston
Those are quite the interesting teams. Reigns decks Kofi to start before Neville comes in and eats a right hand to the face. Neville flips over Sheamus and tags in Orton, because we haven’t seen Orton vs. Sheamus enough lately. The good guy keeps control for a bit until a Kane distraction lets Sheamus nail a tilt-a-whirl powerslam to take over. Back from a break with Orton fighting out of Sheamus’ chinlock.
The lukewarm tag brings in Neville to clean house with his variety of kicks but Kane breaks up the Red Arrow. Kane comes back in for some weak stomping and a big side slam for two as this isn’t exactly inspiring stuff so far. Kofi comes back in to fire the New Day up again with Woods declaring him the greatest of all time. A dropkick gets two and Woods says he’s getting annihilated right now. Sheamus gets two of his own off the Irish Curse and it’s off to the chinlock.
Neville avoids a charge into the post though and it’s a hot tag to Reigns, who runs Kofi over in a hurry. The New Day is easily dispatched but Kane counters a Superman Punch with a chokeslam, which earns Kane an RKO, followed by a Brogue Kick, followed by a dropkick from Neville, followed by Trouble in Paradise. Reigns is back up though and the Superman Punch connects to Kofi, only to have the New Day come in for the DQ at 13:25.
Rating: C-. This was boring. That’s the best word I can come up with for it. We were sitting around and waiting on the big parade of finishers to close things out and it eventually came and went. It’s not a terrible match or even bad but I never came close to being interested in what was going on.
Reigns takes a Midnight Hour and it’s ladder time. Cue Dolph with a ladder of his own but Neville climbs the ladder and dives onto everyone who was nice enough to brawl right beneath him. Neville pulls down the briefcase to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. Totally average show here as they talked up the pay per view a bit but didn’t do much to make me care about what I was seeing. Money in the Bank is a show that sells itself with the big ladder match and it gets very difficult to build towards it as the singles matches and tags don’t change anything. As for the rest, it was just a standard Smackdown: watchable wrestling, nothing important, two hours gone.
Results
Ryback b. Miz – Shell Shock
King Barrett b. Jack Swagger – Bullhammer
Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler – Rollins rolled through a cross body and held Ziggler’s trunks
Paige b. Alicia Fox – PTO
Roman Reigns/Randy Orton/Neville b. Sheamus/Kane/Kofi Kingston via DQ when New Day interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – April 20, 2015: The Post European Blues
Monday Night Raw Date: April 20, 2015
Location: Times Union Center, Albany, New York
Commentators: Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole
We’re six days away from Extreme Rules and the card is all set. The main event will be Seth Rollins’ first title defense as he takes on Randy Orton in a cage match with the RKO banned for Orton. As for tonight, one of the major stories will be Kane’s continuing issues with the Authority, as the monster has been having issues with his bosses in the last few weeks. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Orton and Rollins earning the right to pick stipulations for the title match on last week’s show.
Here’s Randy Orton as a cage is lowered. He thinks Rollins screwed up with his choice because the RKO isn’t his greatest weapon. Orton’s best weapon is the ability to hurt people in any way that he possibly can. This Sunday, he’s going to break Rollins’ jaw so he can’t run his mouth anymore. Then he’s going to stomp Seth’s ribs until they break. After that, Rollins is going to be sent into the cage so many times that every bone in his body hurts. Then and only then will Orton leave the cage as the new WWE Champion.
Cue Rollins and the Stooges with what sounds like some new music. He talks about Orton having anger issues but Randy cuts him off and says that his issues are with Seth Rollins. Seth laughs it off and says he plays this game of human chess better than anyone because he can outmaneuver anyone inside that ring. He’s the best at everything here and just that much better than Orton. Seth tells him to get it out of his system and Orton thinks that’s a good idea. After this segment is over, he’s going to go backstage and RKO everyone he can find, including Rollins himself.
Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper
You would think they would save this for Sunday. Harper actually talks on the way to the ring, saying Ambrose will fear him after tonight. The brawl is on fast to start with Harper getting caught in a bulldog, only to superkick Dean down and hammer him in the back of the head. Dean takes him outside and sends Harper into the apron and announcers’ table, only to be tossed over the barricade and into the crowd. They keep fighting up the ramp and the match has been thrown out at somewhere around 2:00.
Harper loads up a powerbomb off the stage but Dean escapes and sends Harper running.
Orton and the Stooges are checking for Orton around every corner when the Prime Time Players sneak up and do the dog bark to scare them out of their wits in a funny bit. O’Neil and Noble have a quick exchange with Noble being called a Smurf before Rollins yells at a production guy. They run into HHH who says he’s been hearing from Kane as he’s been preparing for Tough Enough. Kane will be here later and Rollins requests some more security. HHH says Orton is just one guy and leaves.
Lucha Dragons vs. New Day
#1 contenders match. Kofi and Cara get things going with Woods on the floor as usual. Both guys tag before anything happens and grabs Kalisto, who tries every spin he can but eventually settles for a kick to the head. A headscissors works a bit better and it’s quickly off to Cara for a springboard forearm to the head for two. It’s quickly back to Kofi vs. Cara and they actually do something this time with Cara armdragging Kingston but getting sent to the floor for a baseball slide to take over.
Back to Big E. who runs Cara over as we take a break. We come back to see Kofi dropkicking Cara in the face before handing it off to Big E. for some clubbing shots to the face. Cara dives over Big E. and makes the tag to Kalisto to clean house, including the headscissor driver to Kofi for two. Kofi gets backdropped to the floor, setting up stereo moonsaults to take New Day down again. Everyone tries to get back in but Woods holds Cara’s foot to send New Day to Extreme Rules via countout at 9:34.
Rating: B-. This really got going at the end and Woods interfering was the right idea. It’s going to be interesting to see heel vs. heel on Sunday but the match should be entertaining. Good stuff here though and a good showcase for the Dragons, who only lose due to the interference and the numbers game.
Post match Orton comes in and RKOs Woods and Kingston (with a slight botch as Kofi wasn’t ready to be thrown into the air, so there goes his push again). Big E. runs away instead.
We recap Rusev attacking Cena to set up the Russian Chain match on Sunday.
Recap of Big Show attacking Reigns last week on Raw and his speech on Thursday to set up the Last Man Standing match on Sunday. Maybe their solution to the ratings issue is to have Big Show put everyone to sleep so they can’t change the channel.
Fandango vs. Curtis Axel
Speaking of don’t change the channel. Axel dances a bit to start but takes too long tearing off the shirt, allowing Fandango to roll him up for two. A Falcon Arrow plants Curtis and the Last Dance is good for the pin at 1:16.
Here’s HHH to talk about the return of Tough Enough. A year ago, the Authority was at a crossroads. They needed to find that one man to carry the company for the next ten years and they found that man in Seth Rollins. Now it’s time to find the next Seth Rollins. That search will begin right here on USA with the return of Tough Enough on June 23. Who hasn’t dreamed of walking down the ramp in front of 76,000 people with the WWE Championship hanging above your head? Right now is your chance to fulfill that dream and you can do that on Tough Enough.
HHH walks us through the application process but gets cut off by Kane. “You’re a little bit seasoned for Tough Enough.” Kane asks why HHH hasn’t responded to the voicemails, texts and emails but HHH says he’s just been letting Kane cool down. It’s been an honor to be Director of Operations, but Kane can’t deal with the disrespect of Seth Rollins so this is his official two weeks’ notice. HHH tries to talk him down but here are Rollins and the Stooges to interrupt. Kane and Rollins start arguing again despite HHH telling them to cool it.
Kane shouts that Rollins is only champion because the Authority decided he was going to be. Would it have been different if they had recruited Dean Ambrose or El Torito? That’s finally enough for HHH (a big Torito fan I guess) who makes Kane guardian of the cage door on Sunday. Seth isn’t cool with this but HHH says the two of them need to get along. A tense handshake ends things.
We recap Paige winning the Divas battle royal but getting attacked by Naomi after the win.
Kane and Rollins are already arguing in the back but HHH comes up and says Kane has lost the hellfire and brimstone. Kane is going to prove him wrong tonight. Rollins smirks a bit but HHH rips him apart, saying the title doesn’t make him the man. Therefore, tonight it’s Rollins vs. Ziggler with Rollins getting to prove himself. Rollins likes the idea, despite almost cowering before HHH.
Naomi vs. Brie Bella
No dancing this week. Naomi’s inset interview talks about how many times she’s had to beat a Bella to get her shot but constantly being told to wait her turn. Nikki sits in on commentary and talks about still being champion as Naomi slides across the mat and kicks Brie in the face. Naomi nips out of a headscissors and Nikki says she’ll fight anyone anytime. Some kicks to the ribs sent Brie to the floor and the show to a break.
Back with Naomi holding a front facelock and slowly stomping Brie around the ring. We hit a chinlock before a double clothesline puts both girls down. Brie fights up and does a face comeback with a middle rope dropkick getting two. Naomi misses a high cross body but hits the Rear View for the pin at 10:01.
Rating: D. They’re turning the Bellas face aren’t they? After all the nonsense we’ve had to put up with from them over the last year and most of the roster wrestling circles around them, now we’re supposed to cheer for them for reasons that have yet to be explained and likely never will be explained. But they’re STARS so that’s what matters right?
Heath Slater tells Erick Rowan that he’s accepting the open challenge for the US Title tonight. Rowan walks away and Slater is RKOed through his salad. Orton even eats some lettuce.
Here’s Roman Reigns to address what happened last week. He wants to fight right now so get out here Big Show. Instead he gets Bo Dallas, who quotes Yoda from Star Wars Episode I, saying that hate leads to suffering. Reigns is suffering after losing at Wrestlemania and is kind of a bust. Despite being Captain Kevlar, Reigns is the Tim Tebow of the WWE: constantly getting chances and screwing up every time. The Superman Punch and spear destroy Dallas as you would expect. Reigns is going to take Big Show out on Sunday, and you can bo-lieve that. I forgot how much I liked Dallas.
Sheamus vs. Zack Ryder
Sheamus says ring the bell and kicks Ryder in the face at three seconds. He slowly turns him over and says that’s too easy. Ryder deserves more than a five second match so Sheamus slowly beats him up in the corner while talking trash on the mic about how the people in this crowd don’t belong in his ring.
That’s a good idea actually as he throws Ryder to the floor and keeps talking about how he’s the real superstar. There’s another Brogue Kick on the floor and Sheamus asks about the New York fighting spirit. He loads up another Brogue Kick but Ziggler runs in for a Zig Zag to send Sheamus running. It’s a DQ win for Sheamus at 3:14 despite the lack of a bell. No rating for obvious reasons.
There’s going to be another live Talk Is Jericho on April 30. The guest: Stephanie McMahon. Just in case you thought the Cena interview was WAY too company friendly.
Here’s Cena for the Open Challenge but first he needs to explain the rules of the Russian Chain match on Sunday. He’ll never give up you see. Rusev is trying to kill the fighting spirit of America but Cena is going to get back up every time he gets knocked down. This Sunday, he’s getting his hand raised and dropping the American flag to prove that Wrestlemania was a statement. As for tonight, someone can come get some but know it’s going to be against a Cena who is ready to fight.
US Title: John Cena vs. Kane
Kane throws Cena around to start and hits the VINTAGE side slam. He kicks Cena to the floor for a nine count and slowly stomps away back inside. Kane follows up the slow stomping with a slow uppercut for two and an elbow gets the same. Cena finally comes back with the ProtoBomb but as is his custom, Kane grabs him by the throat as Cena loads up the Shuffle. Chokeslam gets two but Cena counters the tombstone into the AA for the pin at 6:18. Rollins and the Stooges chuckle in the back.
Rating: D. I’ve seen sparklers with more fire than Kane was showing here. This was five and a half minutes of slow punching before they did the finishing sequence. It doesn’t help that Kane is one of the few people that can bring Cena down to a level that almost no one else can. Bad match here and hopefully the last time they use the open challenge for another story.
Bray Wyatt asks if people want money, power or respect. Most of the time it’s everything, just like whomever he’s talking about. That person can lift all the weights in the world, but he can never lift the weight of his personal failures. After that moment, he’ll see Bray’s face looking own at him. At that moment, the person will learn that everything he has done has been for nothing. Behold the new face of fear.
Post break Kane walks past HHH and snarls.
Miz says the only thing that matters is his new movie and the fact that he did it without a stunt double. Renee cuts him off and says we need to go to John Cena.
Cena was surprised by Kane answering the challenge but says the champ will be here on Sunday. Rusev jumps him with the chain and puts him in the Accolade with the chain around Cena’s face.
Miz vs. Damien Mizdow
The winner gets the Miz brand and Summer Rae is with Mizdow. Mizdow goes for the rollup early on but Miz gets away just in time. Cole talks about someone saying the Miz brand is useless. He doesn’t disagree with the statement of course and just keeps going with the commentary.
Miz gets two off a small package and stomps away in the corner to take over. Mizdow comes back with the Reality Check and a discus clothesline in the corner. The low DDT gets two on Miz but neither guy can hit the Skull Crushing Finale. Summer rakes Mizdow’s eyes, setting up the Skull Crushing Finale from Miz for the pin at 2:47.
Miz loads up his catchphrase but eats an RKO. JBL: “He wouldn’t do that to Brad Pitt!” Booker: “He’d do it to Lorenzo Lamas!”
We run down the Extreme Rules card. Daniel Bryan vs. Bad News Barrett is subject to Bryan’s health. Also added is Ambrose vs. Harper in a street fight.
Bray Wyatt asks if people want money, power or respect. Most of the time it’s everything, just like whomever he’s talking about. That person can lift all the weights in the world, but he can never lift the weight of his personal failures. After that moment, he’ll see Bray’s face looking own at him. At that moment, the person will learn that everything he has done has been for nothing. Behold the new face of fear.
Adam Rose vs. Ryback
Rose gets in some shots before Ryback’s two move combination ends this at 1:30.
The hot dog and the banana attack Ryback post match so it’s a double Shell Shock. Ryback: “What did the banana say to the hot dog? Nothing because they just got Shell Shocked!”
Renee Young reads Kane some Tweets from Rollins and the Stooges about Kane being old. Kane goes into the Authority’s locker room and Seth actually says he’s sorry because that was supposed to be a private conversation. The Orton thing has him out of sorts so he’s going to dedicate the match with Ziggler to Kane. The camera follows Rollins and the Stooges out. Orton is watching them.
Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler
Non-title. Rollins hammers away to start but Ziggler grabs his neckbreaker and drops the big elbow for two. A Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor but Ziggler quickly throws him back inside for a suplex. Rollins catapults him into the buckle as we take a break. Back with Rollins slamming Ziggler’s head onto the mat and stomping even more.
We hit the chinlock for a few moments before Dolph comes back with the running DDT for two. Rollins gets the same off an enziguri but the Buckle Bomb is countered into a sunset flip. Ziggler hits a sweet superkick for two more but Sheamus comes out for a distraction, allowing Rollins to hit the Buckle Bomb and a snap front DDT (think Christian’s layout reverse DDT but with Dolph facing down) for the pin at 10:35.
Rating: B-. Sheamus interfering made sense but I REALLY hope that isn’t the replacement for the Curb Stomp (which has apparently been banned due to the danger of head injuries). Ziggler is a good opponent for someone like Rollins as a loss to the champ doesn’t hurt anyone and he can make Rollins look good in the process. Good match here but they never hit a higher gear.
Post match HHH comes out and cuts on Rollins’ bragging. Seth takes the mic away and keeps talking about how he’s going to take care of Orton this Sunday. As for Kane, HHH needs to stop……something but an angry Kane cuts him off. Rollins asks the cage to be lowered and of course Orton is inside. Seth tries to run but gets pulled off the top into an RKO to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. This show did its job of setting up Extreme Rules, but it doesn’t help that Extreme Rules isn’t the best looking show in the world. What is there on that show that I should be looking forward to? I’ll say this though: I thought the same thing going into Wrestlemania this year and was blown away so maybe they can nail it twice in a row. Tonight’s show wasn’t terrible but it really didn’t have much to keep me interested. Too many short matches or matches that build uninteresting angles. Hopefully Sunday is stronger, as this wasn’t the best show in the world, but the post Europe show rarely works.
Results
Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper went to a no contest
New Day b. Lucha Dragons via countout
Fandango b. Curtis Axel – Last Dance
Naomi b. Brie Bella – Rear View
Sheamus b. Zack Ryder via DQ when Dolph Ziggler interfered