Smackdown
Date: March 9, 2012
Location: Mohegan Sun Casion, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Booker T, Michael Cole

Johnny Ace is in charge tonight and if it’s the same as when Teddy ran Raw on Monday, then we’re in for a very uneventful night indeed. Other than that I don’t think we have much else announced for tonight. Hopefully we get anything on the story for Sheamus vs. Bryan as we need any reason to care about them. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Ace hosting tonight and implying he’s out to steal the job permanently.

We open with a cage being lowered. Otunga and Ace are in the ring. Tonight we’re starting with a championship match in a cage because Teddy has never done that.

US Title: Santino Marella vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger throws him into the corner and pounds Santino down followed by a modified powerslam for two. Clothesline gets two. This has been all Swagger in the first two minutes. Santino tries to escape but Swagger launches him face first into the steel. Santino comes back with some punches and his signature stuff. Headbutt gets two and here comes the Cobra. Ziggler tries to climb in so his hands get hit by the Cobra to knock him to the floor.

Swagger grabs Marella in a belly to back suplex but Santino hits the Cobra to escape and both guys are down. Ziggler is ejected and we take a break. Back with Santino taking a knee to the ribs to put him down. Swagger takes the Cobra glove off and throws it to the floor. Rollup gets one for Santino and a sunset flip gets two. Swagger throws him down and hits a Vader Bomb for two.

He tries to climb but gets crotched and covered for two. Santino gets most of the way over but Swagger saves and they’re both back inside now. Santino comes back with a tornado DDT and crawls for the door. Santino kicks Swagger off and dives again but Swagger grabs the ankle lock. Vickie tries to slam the door on Santino’s head but hits Swagger instead, allowing Santino to crawl out to retain at 7:33 shown of 11:03.

Rating: C. This was fine all things considered. Why this was in a cage is beyond me, but I guess it’s to further the Ace vs. Long feud somehow. The match was just ok as neither is particularly great in the ring but the crowd was way into Santino. It’s better than Swagger having the title as he actually gets on TV too. I guess this is Ryder’s push too.

Teddy comes out to celebrate with Santino.

Teddy comes to see Ace/Otunga and doesn’t want Aksana to have to face Kane. Ace enjoys seeing Teddy squirm and Teddy begs a bit. Ace proposes a match between himself and Teddy. If Ace loses, Aksana will face Kane. Ok then.

Shawn will confront Undertaker on Monday.

Here’s Drew McIntyre in his gear. Is anyone surprised by this? Drew says that Ace will rehired him if he wins a match against a mystery opponent.

Drew McIntyre vs. Great Khali

And never mind as Otunga says Khali isn’t in the match, so here’s the real opponent.

Drew McIntyre vs. Hornswoggle

So why did Khali come out there at all? Horny is terrified despite regularly beating full sized guys before. Drew dominates him and keeps pulling him up after slams. The referee stops it at 1:39.

Khali chops Drew post match.

Aksana is scared for Teddy but he says it’s ok.

Ace is warming up in a track suit.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Mark Henry

So the word on the street is that Henry is in hot water for not being tough enough for working through his injuries, despite being out there almost every week working through his injuries. There’s your lesson guys: don’t work hard, don’t enhance your character, don’t work through injuries, or you might be in danger of being released. Slugout to start but Zeke gets beaten down quickly. Zeke comes back with the clotheslines in the corner but Henry runs him over again. World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 1:41. Well Jackson is moving up. Now he’s getting squashed by bigger names.

John Laurinitis vs. Teddy Long

Remember if Teddy wins, it’s Aksana vs. Kane. This gets big match intros. Ace grabs a mic after the bell rings and tries to talk Teddy out of this. Ace yells at Teddy to do the right thing and lay down, but Teddy won’t do it. Aksana freaks so Ace waves down Kane. Orton runs through the crowd and RKOs Kane, allowing Teddy to roll Ace up at about 2:30. Is this company aware the Wrestlemania is in three weeks? So to clarify, as soon as Kane gets up, he has to face Aksana right? Right?

According to the announcers, Teddy did that because Kane has been taken out so there won’t be a match. I’m as shocked as you are. Teddy and Aksana leave to have a nice dinner.

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Primo/Epico

Uh oh. Kofi was starting to get over as a legit guy again so we better put him in the black tag team of the month. Now the Kane vs. Aksana match isn’t happening because Teddy and Aksana left. So why didn’t Teddy just send Aksana away earlier in the night? Epico and Kofi start with Epico being monkey flipped to the corner. Off to Truth who dances around and hits a spinning legdrop for two.

Back to Kofi and Primo hooks the rope to send Kofi to the floor. Booker praises the cheating for being the right move. See, that’s what most commentators are horrible at: being subtle. Things settle down a bit and it’s Kofi in trouble against Primo. Kofi comes back with a knee to the head and there’s the hot tag to Truth. Everything breaks down and the Little Jimmy gets the pin on Primo at 5:11.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but the tag champions get to job AGAIN to these two that have teamed together what, three times now? Why did Bourne have to get all drugged up when the division was actually getting some stability to it? This wasn’t a particularly good match, mainly because you knew the champions weren’t going to win.

Three minutes on Cena vs. Rock from Monday.

Here’s Cole in the ring to talk to Sheamus and Bryan. Yes, they’re actually talking about this match. Cole’s first question is to Bryan, asking how much of a role luck has played in his title reign. Bryan says you don’t need to be lucky when you’re good like he is. Nothing has been luck in any of his accomplishments, which he lists off. It’s been living a vegan lifestyle and scientific skill that has given him the title. That and charisma and sex appeal.

Sheamus says everyone needs a bit of luck. He’s lucky to be from Ireland and to be in WWE and in America and in front of all these people here. You make your own luck however and Sheamus has fought his way here. He also hasn’t hid behind a 99lb girl who looks like she should be in a Catholic schoolgirl uniform. AJ: “Well from my point of view…” Bryan: “AJ shut up.” Sheamus says Bryan should be wearing the skirt. At Wrestlemania, Bryan’s luck runs out.

Sheamus/Randy Orton/Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes/Daniel Bryan/The Miz

The staredown got cut short for Cody’s entrance, meaning once again this match gets like 3 minutes a week if it’s lucky. Sheamus vs. Cody gets things going. Quickly off to Randy as we hear again about Legacy and their history together. Orton stomps him down but Cody gets in a dropkick and the tag to Bryan. Cole says he’s starting to respect Bryan. Off to Big Show who throws the champion around a little bit more.

Bryan finally gets away and tags in his former NXT Pro. You know, in ancient history when NXT actually had a structure to it. Show throws Miz around too so Miz tags out to Cody. Cody comes in and tags out to Miz immediately. Show doesn’t care and brings Miz back in as we take a break. Back with Sheamus pounding on Miz. Miz comes back with some lefts in the corner but Sheamus comes back with a rolling fireman’s carry slam.

Off to Cody who gets the ten clubbing forearms in ropes. Miz finally gets in a shot to send him to the floor and Bryan adds the knee off the apron. Bryan vs. Sheamus now and Sheamus towers over him. Bryan keeps taking him down and strikes away with the knees and feet. Off to Miz who hits a running boot to the chest for two. Cody comes in as the heels are moving in and out well.

Back to Daniel who shouts YES with every kick in a funny bit. Miz hooks the chinlock and the knee to the back gets two. Here’s Cody again (see how fast they’re tagging?) as Cole makes fun of GI Bro. Celtic Cross out of nowhere is countered into a Russian legsweep for two. Irish Curse takes Cody down and there’s the hot tag to Randy. Everything breaks down and Show stalks Cody up the ramp. Elevated DDT takes Miz down but Bryan avoids it. Sheamus LAUNCHES Bryan into the barricade and they fight into the crowd. The Finale is countered into an RKO for the pin at 10:39 shown of 14:09.

Rating: C+. This was a good main event tag, but I’m really not sure why Miz was involved. Was Kane that injured off a single RKO? At least we got some in ring time for the two matches, although I’m worried that they’re going to give the title to Big Show which is one of the last people that they need to put a title on. Good match overall though.

Kane comes out post match and pulls Orton out to the floor. Kane knocks him into the crowd (called the Universe by Cole to make me roll my eyes) and they fight up the steps to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I REALLY didn’t like this show. It’s like the main matches are being pushed back for the sake of the Teddy Long and Johnny Ace and Aksana. As I said earlier, do they realize that there are three weeks before Wrestlemania? I know Ace vs. Teddy is going to be lead to a match at Mania but the rest of the show felt thrown together. We have an unneeded gimmick match, Drew being rehired again, meaning that weeks of losses add up to nothing, a Henry squash, and the tag champions losing again. This show had no focus at all and it was a pain to sit through as a result. Bad show.

Results
Santino Marella b. Jack Swagger – Marella escaped the cage
Drew McIntyre b. Hornswoggle due to referee stoppage
Mark Henry b. Ezekiel Jackson – World’s Strongest Slam
Teddy Long b. John Laurinitis – Rollup
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Primo/Epico – Little Jimmy to Primo
Randy Orton/Sheamus/Big Show b. The Miz/Cody Rhodes/Daniel Bryan – RKO to Miz

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 27, 2012
Location: Rose Garden, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

The main thing to see tonight is that Rock is back (again). We’re scheduled to get his response to Cena’s promo from last week. This should be the start of the serious part of their feud as opposed to the stupid comments that Rock has made over the past year which have been based on comedy rather than the desire to see a fight. Let’s get to it.

Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk

Nice to see another match getting the proper build. Saving something for PPV? What does that mean? Punk comes out first but Jericho comes out instead of Bryan. He says Punk is one of his favorites but Punk isn’t as good as he is. Jericho never had to say he was the best in the world because everyone else said it for him. He talks about how he didn’t care what people said backstage because he knew he’d have the best match on the card.

Punk yells at Jericho, talking about how Jericho didn’t invent everything in wrestling. Did he invent being from Canada? Jericho says Punk doesn’t take anything seriously but he needs to do it with Jericho, because he’s something different. Punk goes off on Jericho again, talking about he’s been here talking about he knows he’s the best and has been here swimming with sharks while Jericho was off Dancing With The Stars. Jericho says he’s still the best and while he was off doing all that stuff, all he was thinking about was Punk and proving that he’s the best in the world.

Oh yeah we’ve got a match to get to. Bryan comes out and jumps Punk. Ace, Otunga, Long and Santino are all at ringside. The bell will officially ring after a break. Back with Brian firing off kicks in the corner but Punk hits a cross body out of the corner for two. Teddy and Ace are on commentary here so Cole sucks up to Ace. Punk comes back with knees to the back for two. He backdrops Bryan to the floor and sets to dive, but Bryan calls AJ over to tend to him.

The distraction lets Bryan take Punk’s knee out and send him into the steps. We take another break (pretty fast no?) and come back with Bryan holding an abdominal stretch. We missed the ending from last week with Punk almost winning off a superplex with the interlocking legs. Punk hits the knee in the corner but he bulldog is countered. He slams Bryan down and hits the top rope elbow but his ribs are too hurt to cover.

Otunga tries to interfere but Punk kicks him down. LeBell Lock is countered and Otunga gets up again. The wrestlers hit stereo cross bodies as Santino knocks Otunga down. Ace pulls Santino down as Bryan is walking out. Sheamus throws him back in and Punk hits the GTS. Ace says that’s a DQ and the bell rings at 10:20.

Rating: C+. This didn’t have the time to be anything good and was more about setting up Smackdown vs. Raw at Wrestlemania than the match itself. Clearly they needed to use the world titles against each other to accomplish this too right? The match again didn’t have a clean ending which is good, but it’s having these potential main event matches for free on TV that makes PPV matches less important.

Punk poses on the stage when Jericho runs out and beats him up. He slams Punk on the stage and puts him in the Liontamer.

We get a video on HHH vs. Undertaker from last year with testimonials from big names and The Miz saying how amazing it was. IT WASN’T THAT GOOD!

Kelly Kelly vs. Nikki Bella

Nikki slams her into the mat to start and does a Hennig neck snap. Kelly does her screaming headscissors and kicks the other Bella down. She reverses a rollup to pin Nikki at 1:30. Your usual Divas stuff.

John Cena vs. The Miz

Miz says that no one works harder than he does and how he’s flown 16 hours to do PR in Russia. For some reason though he isn’t even on the card for Wrestlemania yet. What better way to show why he should be on it than by beating the guy that he beat in the main event last year? Miz escapes a quick AA attempt and hits his usual stuff to take over. Cena hits a backdrop and some clotheslines but walks into Miz’s short DDT for two. The corner clothesline hits and Miz goes up, but misses his top rope ax handle. Cena starts up his finishing sequence and hits the Shuffle. AA and STF end this at 4:04.

Rating: D+. Miz gets crushed. Again. This is the problem with most upper midcard guys anymore: there’s no way to get them taken seriously because they’re always against a big star on TV and half the time they have to lose. Maybe they shouldn’t have these matches on free TV? Nah that’s crazy talk.

Rock pops up on screen and does the You Can’t See Me sign.

Tag Titles: Epico/Primo vs. R-Truth/Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler

Ok then. This is actually more like the WCW Triangle matches where you have three people in the ring at once. You can only tag your partner though. Kofi, Dolph and Primo start us off but Ziggler chills on the floor. Things break down quickly and now there’s no one in the ring. Kofi and Swagger fall to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Primo, Swagger and Truth in the ring and Swagger breaking up a Truth sunset flip. Swagger and Primo get in an argument and it’s off to Ziggler. A great dropkick by Ziggler puts Truth down but Primo tries to steal the pin. Truth comes back and hits a combination Downward Spiral/DDT to both guys. A double tag prevents the tag to Kofi but Swagger gets in a fight with Epico, allowing the hot tag to Kofi.

He cleans house with his high flying stuff and gets two off the cross body. A double Boom Drop to one of each opponents but Ziggler hits the Zig Zag to break up the Trouble in Paradise. Swagger gets two off that and then grabs the ankle lock on Epico. Trouble in Paradise takes Swagger down and Primo hits a Backstabber on Kofi, allowing Epico to steal the pin to retain at 8:21.

Rating: C. Why in the world would you keep the titles on these guys? No one cares about them, they’re not particularly good and their matches are nothing special. Is this supposed to prove that they’re better than these two teams? Not having them lose clean to Kofi/Truth last week would have done the same thing.

Post match Kane comes out to clear the ring and beat up everyone in sight.

Ace and Otunga are in the back talking about the Oscars when Teddy comes in. Nothing to see here.

We recap the Eve heel turn and her wanting to use Cena.

Here’s Eve in the arena with new EVIL music. She says she doesn’t care that she uses people because it’s not her fault that men can’t resist her. The men should blame themselves for their weaknesses. And that’s it.

We see Eve in the back and Kelly messes up the whole thing with her awful acting. Alicia is next to Kelly for no apparent reason. Eve leaves them there.

Trailer for Edge’s new movie. Oh great. It’s a buddy comedy.

Orton is back on Smackdown to face Bryan.

Big Show/Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes/Mark Henry

Henry isn’t allowed time off to heal is he? Cody shows us a clip from Mania where Show lost to Floyd Mayweather. Cody immediately tags Henry in and Show stomps him down to start. Show spears him down and glares at Cody who is on the ramp. Sheamus tags himself in and Brogue Kicks Henry down for the pin at 59 seconds.

The Board of Directors are going to announce something at 10am tomorrow and it might involve potential leadership changes on both shows.

We get a recap of Cena’s promo last week and Rock is up next.

Shawn will be on Raw next week.

Here’s Rock for the big response. The fans chant for him and he seems legit taken back by it. Rock says look at his arm which is real. He’s covered in goosebumps because this feels good. He says this might surprise some people, but he’s not here every week. Him saying he’d never leave didn’t mean that he’d be at Raw and Smackdown every week. The fans chant Fruity Pebbles.

Rock says he was born and raised in this business and is here for no reason other than because he loves the WWE. He’ll always be a part of it and it’ll always be a part of him. He finally says Cena’s name and the people boo. For years, Rock thought Cena was a phony. He didn’t think that someone who graduated from a private school could become the Doctor of Thuganomics. But then Rock realized that Cena really is that guy.

Cena said that it took forever to get to Rock but why, when he has Rock’s cell phone number. Instead of talking on the phone or in person though, Rock would rather slap him in the face with a piece of kung pow chicken. Last week Cena said that he’ll fight at Wrestlemania for all of the people in the back that love to be a professional wrestler. Rock grew up as one and he was always taught that no one was going to fight for himself but himself.

When he was climbing the ladders (he climbed ladders?) do you think anyone fought for him? Do you think anyone fought for Austin, Savage or Piper? Rock fights for the people, not the boys in the back. He says kung pow is now trending world wide. That made my eyes roll. Rock says the people aren’t tired of being entertained. That’s what he does: he entertains.

Rock says he mentioned Cena eating Fruity Pebbles and then a few months later, Cena was on a cereal box. He said lady parts and it was chanted. Now Rock leads them in chants of Rocky and lady parts. That’s what Rock does: he entertains. The most interesting thing Cena has done all year is change the kind of shorts he wears to camouflage. That’s been effective because we can’t find his balls anywhere. And cue Rock telling us that Cena’s missing balls is trending.

Cue Cena thank goodness. Cena says that only Rock could come up with calling someone kung pow chicken. He is the guy that talks Rock down because Rock isn’t here. However, Rock is only half right because Cena will run Rock down when Rock is here too. Cena used to love Rock too until he met Dwayne Johnson. Dwayne is self-centered and egotistical and Cena doesn’t need words trending on Twitter, or his promo printed on his wrist (which Rock apparently had).

At Wrestlemania, Cena is going to be looking into the eyes of Dwayne Johnson, not The Rock like everyone else will see. Cena says carry on and continue trending and leaves. Rock says that’s just like Cena to walk away before the right. Rock and Dwayne Johnson are the same person and he’ll be kicking Cena all over Wrestlemania, if you smell what he’s cooking. Rock sounded REALLY desperate after Cena left.

Overall Rating: C+. This was ALL about Rock’s response to Cena and the rest of the show meant nothing. That being said, the rest of the show did nothing for me at all. It wasn’t a bad show or anything but nothing on it made me any more interested in the show than I already am. Punk and Jericho are going to have a good match but it’s going to mean nothing in the long run by comparison.

Results
Daniel Bryan b. CM Punk via DQ when Sheamus interfered
Kelly Kelly b. Nikki Bella – Rollup
John Cena b. The Miz – STF
Epico/Primo b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler and Kofi Kingston/R-Truth – Epico pinned Swagger after Trouble in Paradise
Sheamus/Big Show b. Mark Henry/Cody Rhodes – Brogue Kick to Henry

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Punk won the Raw Chamber match, last eliminating Miz. Jericho was knocked out of the cage and “unconscious.” You know, seven days after Sorensen had his neck broken. Not sure I’m ok with that. I’d assume it’s Jericho vs. Punk at Mania.

Thoughts on this?

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 13, 2012
Location: Valley View Casino Center, San Diego, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the final show before Elimination Chamber which is the final major show before Wrestlemania. That being said, the Chamber is pretty much set and it appears that one way or another, Punk and Jericho will be feuding after the PPV. It should be interesting to see what the final push is here and if they add any other matches to the card beforehand. Let’s get to it.

We open with the ending of last week’s show where Kane got in Eve’s face. Kane says that tonight, Cena embraces the hate and someone takes a ride in the ambulance.

We open in the arena….with a debate. All six of the Raw guys in the Chamber are going to have a debate. Punk is asked how he thinks he’ll overcome the odds when he’s interrupted by Ace. Ace is back and that’s about it. As for the question, Punk says this debate will NOT end in violence. As for old snickleprints, aka Clown Shoes, congratulations for maintaining power. Punk thinks Ace must have something like beastiality pictures of the Board members to keep his job. He’ll win because he’s the best in the world.

Vickie asks for no booing and Dolph says he’s better than everyone. Truth says if he’s elected, he’ll trade Vickie and Dolph for Hornswoggle and a box of spiders. Ziggler: “HOW DO YOU WORK HERE???” Truth will also make it legally required to say WHAT after every line of the Pledge of Allegiance. Now back to the issue at hand, he’s going to stomp that box of spiders and make them into Spider Stew, which is high in protein and low in carbs. With Little Jimmy by his side, he’ll drink the stew which will make him strong enough to win the Chamber.

Miz gets to follow that. He says he was the main event of Wrestlemania last year. As for his opponents, Kofi is an afterthought, Truth is insane and should be replaced by Little Jimmy. Punk will melt faster than his ice cream bars. Ziggler has only scored with an old woman….and the buzzer rings before Miz can get to Jericho. He keeps talking and the buzzer keeps going.

Kofi says everything can change in one night and he’s tired of being an afterthought. We actually get a Kofi chant. Jericho says he’s surrounded by neophytes and that he’s the best in the world. He’s been in more Chambers and eliminated more people than anyone ever has. He won the last time he was in it too. Punk should just give him the title right now. Punk says he was thinking of the time when Jericho finished 7th on Dancing With The Stars.

Dolph goes off and says this is stupid. Truth says he won’t be talked down to by a man named after Flipper, and we get some dolphin sounds. Jerry says we’re getting all six of them in singles matches tonight, so let’s start with Jericho vs. Kofi. Jericho shoves his podium over and walks up to Punk. Punk holds up the title and Kofi kicks Jericho’s head off.

Chris Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston

This starts after a break. Jericho is still shaken up so Kofi clotheslines him to the outside and hits a suicide dive. Jericho goes face first into the table and they head back in. Chris gets in some right hands and a senton backsplash for two. Off to a modified chinlock but Kofi comes back with a cross body. Jerry makes fun of Jericho’s statements that he came up with all those ideas. Kofi tries a springboard dropkick but lands in the Walls. He makes the ropes after a good while but pops up with Trouble in Paradise which gets a very delayed two. Jericho gets up and the Codebreaker ends this clean at 5:21.

Rating: B-. The match was good but I really don’t get the idea of having Kofi talk about becoming a bigger deal and then having him lose clean like this. Yeah he got in a lot of offense, but maybe they shouldn’t be having matches between six guys that you want to look strong going into a PPV match between them. Just a thought.

We get a clip from the Rumble with Ryder getting Tombstoned.

Cena is with Ryder in the back and Ryder is in a neckbrace and wheelchair. Ryder has flowers for Eve though because he can’t stay away from her. Cena offers to bring her here and keep watch.

Otunga says Ace isn’t the permanent GM but he has an idea to make him GM of both shows.

We recap Big show vs. Orton on Smackdown and get some post show bonus footage where Show chokeslammed Orton.

Here’s Bryan for commentary I believe.

Big Show vs. Randy Orton

This also starts after a break. Show throws Orton around as the size is just too much for Randy. Orton is all shaken as we take a break. Back with Randy holding a sleeper. He jumps on Show’s back and Show goes down to one knee. Show breaks it up but walks into a great dropkick. Orton covers but is launched to the floor on the kickout. Show glares at Bryan who Cole has been complimenting all match.

Another dropkick drapes Show on the top rope and it’s a SUPER elevated DDT. Cole calls it extra vintage. How can it be vintage when it’s never happened before? Orton loads up the RKO and they horribly botch it with Orton never even leaving his feet. Show tries a chokeslam but Randy escapes and hits a good RKO as Bryan runs in for the DQ at 7:21.

Rating: C+. Better match here than Bryan and Show have been having lately. That’s not a knock on Bryan, but there’s only so much Show can sell for him without it getting ridiculous. The botched RKO was awful but the DDT was pretty cool. Bryan running in might as well have been plastered on a board, but this wasn’t terrible.

Bryan lays them both out with the belt post match.

Here’s Shawn for his big promo with HHH. Shawn talks about how people on Twitter ask him why he always shows up at this time of year. BECAUSE IT’S WRESTLEMANIA!!! He says he can’t be the Main Event anymore, but he can be Mr. Hall of Fame now.

Last week he was watching Raw (and yes he gets TV in the middle of nowhere place that he lives) and was waiting for HHH to say yes to Undertaker. Shawn heard him say no and then called Ace, saying he needed to talk to HHH. Then he thought HHH was just messing with the people and Undertaker. Shawn calls out HHH and even plays air guitar during the entrance.

Here’s the Game and they hug. They throw up an X as required by law. HHH says it’s great to see Shawn who has managed to stop hunting wabbits with Elmer Fudd. However, HHH isn’t going to face Taker at the PPV. Shawn saw Undertaker leave last year and HHH know he’d have to end Taker to beat him, and that’s not the guy he is anymore. Shawn says he’s stuck by HHH forever, even when he married that girl. Did that make HHH one of them, as in a corporate sellout?

The Game doesn’t like that. He says it’s called investing in the future. HHH says Shawn can’t understand it so they’re not having this argument here. Shawn says he’s a simple guy and it’s hard for him to understand this corporate stuff. However, he knows a coward when he sees one. No matter how much money you put around it, a coward is still a coward. The fans chant one more match and HHH leaves. Shawn says yeah walk away like a coward.

HHH freaks and comes back, saying Shawn can’t understand what’s going on. Shawn sits on his ranch with his wife and kids but HHH has real life responsibilities. All of this is going to be his and it means its his responsibility. You can’t look at Taker like an opponent because you can’t. Undertaker is a brand who is good for business. Their breed is gone and there’s a new one in town. Only Taker is left and HHH won’t be the one to end that era.

HHH goes nuclear on Shawn, saying that Shawn can’t push HHH to do what Shawn couldn’t get done. Shawn says that’s a great speech that would work on most people, but he’s at peace with where he’s at. HHH has no peace though. He needs to look Shawn in the eye and say he doesn’t want to end the Streak. HHH starts to walk away but Shawn pulls him back and says look him in the ey. There goes the jacket and Shawn puts the mic down. HHH looks him in the eye and says no. Shawn looks like he’s about to cry. He leaves and HHH stands alone in the ring.

He goes to leave…..and a gong sounds. We get another promo video from Taker saying this isn’t over. Taker’s hands are seen pulling out a nice and cutting his hair. He says keep your pity and give me what is mine: immortality. Back in the arena HHH pulls his tie off and we go to a break. WOW that was good.

R-Truth vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dolph takes over to start and hits a dropkick. He struts around and does his handstand in the chinlock. There’s a slam and Ziggy does his situps. Truth however rolls him up for a pin at 2:35.

Santino comes to see Ryder and offers him a breath mint. This isn’t funny.

Tamina Snuka vs. Brie Bella

The name change should help. Beth is on commentary for this and will defend the title on Sunday against Tamina. Brie takes over quickly but Tamina hits a jawbreaker to escape. Snuka hits Nikki and then a Samoan Drop to set up the Superfly Splash for the pin at 1:25. Just how I like my Divas matches: nice and short.

Video on The Rock. He’s a movie star you know.

We go to Cena for a reaction on that video but we hear a woman screaming. It’s Eve who is being thrown into the ambulance by Kane. Cena comes to her rescue but the door is locked. Kane gets back up and slams Cena into said door before getting into the driver’s seat. Cena manages to get up and open the door and Eve dives to him. Kane drives off and Eve kisses him. Cena asks what that was for. We pan over to Ryder who is STUNNED and wants to know what that was.

After a break Ryder is wheeling away and is sorry to see that happens. She just wants to be friends. Ryder is disgusted and wheels away.

CM Punk vs. The Miz

Somehow it’s 10:48 already. This show has flown by and in a good way. Poor Zack is the #1 trending topic in the world. Miz takes over to start and works on the left arm. Reality Check is countered and Punk kicks Miz’s head off. Notice that Punk shakes the feeling back into his arm. That’s called selling and it’s a GOOD THING. Punk strikes away but the arm isn’t working right.

Miz pounds on the arm some more so Punk uses his right arm and legs. The knee and a right arm bulldog look to set up the GTS. Miz escapes into the short DDT for two and there’s the running clothesline in the corner. He comes off the top but Punk grabs a powerslam for two. The Macho Elbow (presumably) is broken up and Miz loads up a superplex. Punk comes back and hits the elbow for two. Miz pops up and tries the Finale but Punk reverses into the Anaconda Vice for the tap at 5:00.

Rating: C. This was a quick match but it wasn’t that bad at all. Miz kept moving and that’s the right idea. He’s not great in the ring but when he’s going fast enough and doesn’t have to be on offense all that much, he can be pretty entertaining. I’m not wild about him losing clean in five minutes, but whatever.

The ambulance is back.

Post break here’s Cena. He says there was an awkward moment back there and for what it’s worth Zack, he’s sorry. This was Kane’s plan all along: to turn everyone against him and make him embrace the hate. It’s a solid plan and it would have worked on anybody else. He’s not anybody else though. For some reason people think there’s an evil switch he can just turn on and off. The fans chant that they don’t hate him.

Cena says it’s been like six years and he’s comfortable in his own skin. Cena says he rises above hate and maybe they were chanting we all hate you. The people can think he’s a lady part having Fruity Pebbles guy, which draws a Fruity Pebbles chant. He says he’ll keep adapting and winning. This Sunday, Kane leaves in an ambulance. As for Dwayne (Rocky chant), Cena has a message for him for Wrestlemania.

Hold that though as here’s Ryder in the wheelchair. He gets up on his crutches and very slowly walks down to the ring. Cena tries to explain but Ryder knocks the mic out of his hands. Cena tries to explain again but Ryder slaps him. John takes the shirt off and the fans chant broken back. Ryder says Cena was never his friend and goes to hit Cena again.

Cena blocks it and pulls his own fist back but Ryder falls to the floor. Ryder says stay away from him and leaves. Cena didn’t hit him. Kane pops up on screen and says that Cena has embraced the hate. Sunday will be his last match until Mania because Cena will have his body leaving the WWE in an ambulance. Kane asks for a round of applause for Cena.

Kane then pops up behind Ryder and SHOVES HIM OFF THE STAGE IN HIS WHEELCHAIR! Cena panics and says get help which is there almost immediately. Eve comes out showing off some nice crack and is all worried. The fans chant for Cena for some reason. Ryder is taken out to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. There isn’t much to fault in this show. This was almost all storyline but they were on fire with them tonight. The stories were interesting and we got some great moments like Ryder’s shock and awe over the kiss. I’m curious as to what they’re doing with him but they can’t have more bad stuff happen to him. Oh who am I kidding, of course they can. Great show tonight.

Results
Chris Jericho b. Kofi Kingston – Codebreaker
Randy Orton b. Big Show via DQ when Daniel Bryan interfered
R-Truth b. Dolph Ziggler – Small Package
Tamina Snuka b. Brie Bella – Superfly Splash
CM Punk b. The Miz – Anaconda Vice

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 6, 2012
Location: Chesapeake Energy Arena, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re on the second of the three Raws between the Rumble and the Chamber. Last week’s show was pretty awesome with the return of Undertaker to apparently challenge HHH. Also it appears that HHH is back in charge instead of Johnny Ace which should at least be interesting. We should get some more matches for the PPV tonight too. Let’s get to it.

We open with a gong. Oh wait it’s just a recap from last week with Taker returning and seeming challenging HHH.

6 Pack Challenge tonight with the winner entering the Chamber last. Also Show vs. Bryan.

Here’s HHH to open things up. He says he was here last week to fire Johnny Ace. He wasn’t here to wish him well, but rather well in all of his future endeavors. However he never got that far. Ace being called a man is an exaggeration as he’s more of a weasel. Apparently Ace flew to Stamford to plead for another chance and HHH has to wait on the proposal. The decision should be in by tomorrow morning.

However he’s not here for that, but rather to talk about the return of the Undertaker. He talks about hearing the gong go off and it still gives him chills. Taker is the only person that humbles HHH when they’re in the ring together. Last week though, HHH didn’t feel humble or anything like that. He felt sorry for the Undertaker. He knows what he did to Undertaker last year and he chooses to remember the Undertaker in a certain way.

HHH plays a highlight reel of Taker’s career and I think this is all from Wrestlemania. That’s how HHH wants to remember him, not like this, which brings up a video of Taker not being able to stand after last year’s match. Due to that, the challenge for Wrestlemania is declined. If they have to do it again, HHH will have to finish it. He respects Taker too much and this is over.

HHH goes to leave and his music cuts off. There go the lights and a video from the match last year plays. Taker is somewhere and says it’s not over. The victory last year means nothing and he wants what belongs to him. So it’s Shawn’s storyline from two years ago with Taker in Shawn’s place?

Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show

AJ comes out with Bryan in a neckbrace. Show takes him straight to the corner and the power begins. He throws Bryan around a lot until Bryan gets in a kick to the knee and we take a break. Back with Bryan’s half crab being broken as Big Show powers him around. Spear gets two. Show loads up the chokeslam but Bryan counters into a guillotine choke. Bryan gets in a shot to the leg and goes up but Show kicks him to the floor. Now Bryan is holding his knee but he was goldbricking. Show charges at Bryan but almost crushes AJ again. Bryan takes AJ to the back and loses by countout at 7:32.

Rating: D+. These two just do not work well against each other at all. Show is good against someone like Henry. The problem is that Bryan is not Henry and can’t have a ton of convincing offense against the Big Show. That makes the matches quite boring so what’s the point of watching them fight, especially when Bryan loses almost every time?

Bryan says Show tried to run her over on purpose and she’s more important than the title. On Sunday (the PPV is in two weeks), he’ll still be Bryan, a vegan and the champion.

Carl Edwards, a NASCAR driver drove his car into the arena last week and met with Cena. Cena will be the official starter for the Daytona 500.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

Here’s Otunga in the ring and he has something to say. He praises Ace and wants the Board of Directors to keep Ace on the job. Otunga asks for us to join him in prayer and he Tebows. We get an announcement from HHH that right now, Otunga has a match.

Sheamus vs. David Otunga

Otunga is in his suit, sweater and bowtie. Sheamus immediately loads up the Celtic Cross but Otunga escapes, losing the sweater in the process. A double ax takes him down and there are the ten forearms. The shirt is torn now as well. Otunga holds onto the top rope and grabs a DDT to take over. He stomps away and chokes a little bit but Sheamus is all ticked off. Brogue Kick ends this in 2:04.

Here’s Jericho who says the end of the world is here. He’s here to end the lying, the plagiarism and all that jazz. Everyone who is in this ring is a Chris Jericho wannabe. The fans are all wannabes too. He got all of the fans to believe whatever he wanted. Jericho admits he trolled all of them. Miz scowling in a suit is a Jericho thing. Kofi flying around is a Jericho thing. Dolph walking to the ring with Vickie is a Jericho thing because he walked to the ring with Stephanie. O……..k?

Then we have CM Punk. Punk says he’s the best in the world but in reality he’s a Chris Jericho wannabe and he knows deep down inside that Jericho is the best in the world. He doesn’t have to write it on the back of a t-shirt but he knows it. Jericho is back to claim what is his and that means the end of the world of CM Punk. Here’s Punk who comes in with a mic and drops it. Instead he holds up the title then turns his back on Jericho. Jericho looks like he’s pulling his arm back to hit Punk but doesn’t and the champ leaves. Jericho yells about wanting Punk to say something but Punk keeps walking.

Randy Orton/Great Khali vs. Wade Barrett/Cody Rhodes

Orton and Barrett start but it’s quickly off to Khali with the chops. He chops Orton HARD for the tag back in. Off to Rhodes and we’re in an 80s style kick and punch match. Orton hits the elevated DDT and Khali tags himself back in. They get in an argument but Khali chops Rhodes out of the air during a Beautiful Disaster attempt for the pin at 3:45.

Rating: D-. This match happened. That’s about all I’ve got for it. I get that it’s supposed to push the idea of distension and everything but that doesn’t mean that it’s a good match. Khali was supposed to be dominant and while it kind of worked, the execution of it came off as horrible.

Khali tries to chop Orton post match but takes the RKO instead.

Now we hear about a Twitter argument between Rock and Cena. Now we see the Cena video AGAIN.

Tamina/Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix/Natalya/Bella Twins

We get an inset promo from Beth who talks about how she’s unbeatable. She starts with Eve and the beating begins. Off to a Bella who is chopped in the chest to bring her in. She walks into a Samoan Drop from Tamina and the Superfly Splash ends this in 1:33.

HHH is in the back when Ace comes up. Ace is all smiley and says he’s still the interim GM. He met with the Board earlier today and they’re very nice people. He’ll accept whatever decision they make. Shawn is going to be here next week. Also it’s officially Cena vs. Kane in an ambulance match. Speaking of ambulances, HHH says Ace’s career is on a flatline. If Ace doesn’t leave right now, he’ll be flatlined.

The decision on Ace will be announced tomorrow morning at 10AM.

We get the same video from earlier with Taker’s voiceover.

Ace says he thinks the Board is looking for someone honest rather than someone who is a brute.

CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth vs. The Miz vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston

This is one fall to a finish and the winner gets to be #6 in the Chamber. Roberts fumbles over the rules before the match starts. Everyone is in the ring at once so I’m not going to try to keep up with what’s going on. Jericho heads to the floor which is a smart move. Other than him, everyone but Ziggler and Kofi go to the floor. Truth TOTALLY misses a dive and crashes to the floor on his back.

Ziggler teases a dive but stops to strut. Punk clotheslines him down for two as we take a break. Back and Truth is carried out. Jericho and Kofi are on the floor and Kofi is down. Punk hits a combination neckbreaker/DDT on both heels but it only gets two on Miz. The Vice goes on both guys but Kofi makes the save. It’s down to Punk vs. Jericho but Miz and Dolph come back in.

Jericho and Miz clothesline each other down as this match is going VERY slowly. Punk goes up for a superplex on Dolph but it winds up being a Tower of Doom. Miz covers Punk as Jericho covers Dolph so the referee counts both, getting two both times. Miz tries for the Finale on Jericho but Kofi comes in with Trouble in Paradise to Miz, sending him to the floor. Middle rope missile dropkick takes Kofi down and it’s off to a chinlock.

Jericho misses the Lionsault and blocks Trouble in Paradise. There are the Walls for Kofi but Punk comes back in with a knee to the back of Jericho’s head. Chris is sent to the floor and Ziggler tries a rollup, getting two. GTS takes Ziggler down but Jericho breaks it up, sending Punk onto the table. Jericho slides in and steals the pin on Ziggler at 12:25.

Rating: C+. The problem with this show is based in this match. The problem is that with so many people being in this match, there’s nothing else to get us through the rest of the show. This was decent but once Truth was gone, the crowd was basically dead for the rest of the time. It’s not bad but it’s nothing great.

Jericho sits like Punk in the ring.

We hear screaming and Eve is being yelled at by Kane. He says he has to do something because of the hate. Cena is starting to embrace the hate and when he finally does it fully, he’ll be in a better place. Until then though, Kane is afraid for Eve and Cena. More than that though, he’s afraid of himself. Ok then.

Overall Rating: C+. This was much more about storytelling and moving things forward towards the Chamber and then on to Mania. It wasn’t as good as last week’s, but we got a lot done tonight which needed to happen. There’s plenty of time before Mania, so it was good to get some of this out of the way. The problem with the main event as I said though is that it gives us nothing but Smackdown matches before then, which is ok but it still gets a little boring. Good show but not great.

Results
Big Show b. Daniel Bryan via countout
Sheamus b. David Otunga – Brogue Kick
Great Khali/Randy Orton b. Cody Rhodes/Wade Barrett – Chop to Rhodes
Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Tamina/Alicia Fox b. Beth Phoenix/Natalya/Bella Twins – Superfly Splash to Brie Bella
Chris Jericho b. CM Punk, Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, The Miz and R-Truth – Jericho pinned Ziggler after a GTS from Punk

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This was announced on Raw tonight.  This is…A pretty good idea.  Miz is a guy that can go out there and do whatever for about 30-40 minutes if need be.  You can have him do stuff like the Shawn role in 95 or Benoit/Orton in 04.  Someone like that has to be there and Miz is as good a choice as any to have in there for a good chunk of the match until the main people get in.

Thoughts?

If you were starting a wrestling company and could build it around one person not named John Cena, who would it be?  For the sake of this, consider their current ages (as in Taker is still old), the amount of time they appear (as in Rock only appears a handful of times a year) and all other factors.I’d go with Miz.  The guy knows how to antagonize a crowd like few others and it works every time.  Anyone can come out there and smile and laugh and all that stuff, but it’s impressive to get someone that is so loathed and hated to the point where the fans will boo whatever you say.  He’s a young guy and can cause a lot of havoc on a show.  He’s been dedicated to improving his game too and he’s a credible main event heel.  The Hollywood connections don’t hurt either.

Your picks/thoughts?

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 19, 2011
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re into that limbo period between TLC and the Rumble. There are six Raws before the PPV and based on that, there are usually multiple shows where not much happens. I’d expect the next two to be that way, especially with Christmas coming up. These are usually throwaway shows and that’s ok, especially given how much they had happen last night. Let’s get to it.

Let’s Burn it to the Ground.

We open with the lights off and almost everything dark. Punk starts talking and says that we’re live in the entertainment capital of….this state, and here are the results of TLC. Since Johnny Ace is the least creative middle man in the history of management, here’s the result of TLC. First of all, who won the TLC main event? The three options are shown and Punk says it was him, the best wrestler in the world.

Here’s Punk who looks very happy. He talks about being banged up and sore but he’s the champion. This is a title that a lot of people never thought he would win. That brings him to the next match from last night: the US Title match. He does the who won thing again and brings out Ryder, who is WAY over in Philadelphia. Think about that. He’s insanely over in Philadelphia, just like he was in MSG.

Now let’s talk about the big one. There was a chairs match, but the man that walked out with the title wasn’t one of the people originally in it. The World Heavyweight Champion, is Daniel Bryan. They all stand in the ring with their new titles and it’s quite a visual. Punk talks about how if any city would appreciate this, it’s Philadelphia. The fans chant ECW and Punk mentions how awesome it is that two guys like Bryan and Punk who met ten years ago down the street would be here in this ring as world champions.

Punk says this isn’t about him but rather about those two. They’ve broken their backs for wrestling and the people have brought them to this level. Let’s hear from the new champions. Ryder says he called his dad this morning and asked if he really was champion. His dad’s response: “WOO WOO WOO! You know it!” Bryan says there are people like Cole that says he didn’t belong here, but now he’s the World Heavyweight Champion.

Bryan gets cut off because Miz, Ziggler and Del Rio all come out and head to the ring. The champions hold them off until Ryder hits a flip dive onto Ziggler. He goes into the barricade so the world champs go after Miz and Del Rio. Ace cuts them off and the champs go check on Ryder who is holding his shoulder. Ace makes a six man tag for the main event. No stipulations are announced.

Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton

Orton won a tables match last night. They slug it out to start and head to the floor pretty quickly. Barrett takes over and rams Orton into the post and drapes him over the barricade as we take a break. Back with Barrett kicking Orton in the face to send him outside. Orton is looking less orange tonight. He starts his comeback and hits the powerslam. Elevated DDT is countered as is the Wasteland. Backbreaker sets up the DDT but Barrett pokes him in the eye afterwards….for a DQ at 8:00? Seriously? A THUMB TO THE EYE GETS A DQ NOW???

Rating: D+. They were kind of going through the motions until the ending here which is ok because I like Barrett’s in ring style, but the rest of the match was pretty boring. The ending was rather stupid but it continues the feud and lets us have another match here, which Barrett could win and move on to a match with Bryan at the Rumble.

Post match Barrett beats Orton up with the Bossman Slam (now called Winds of Change) and a Wasteland through a table.

We recap HHH vs. Nash last night. Nash is going to be out for six weeks, which will put him right in line for the Rumble right?

Beth Phoenix vs. Alicia Fox

Non-title here I think. Alicia is trending worldwide, reverse DDT, flipping legdrop, Alicia pins her 100% clean in 48 seconds.

Alicia wishes everyone a foxy holiday.

Sheamus vs. Jinder Mahal

Why is this match still happening? Mahal hasn’t had a chance against him yet and we’re seeing this again? He takes over to start and hits some strikes to the head, be they either a knee or a dropkick. Sheamus wakes up and hits the Irish Curse and Celtic Cross for the pin at 1:57. Did anyone expect anything else?

Here’s Cena to address what happened last week. Naturally he’s loathed here in Philly. He says that what he’s about to say is shocking. If you have a medical condition, you need to cover your ears. He thinks there are some people that don’t like him. Some of them aren’t here (like Rock, who he’ll be ready for in April) but one of them is a monster on the loose who has issues with Christmas and the dentist.

Cena hopes that he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. If that’s the case, things move on and he won’t be going after Kane. If that’s not the case, they have some business and let’s settle it right now. Instead cue Henry who is badly limping. He says that if it wasn’t for Kane, Cena would be the new member of the Hall of Pain. The fans chant Sexual Chocolate. He says he’s not in the mood for jokes after losing the title last night. Henry is here to address why he lost and he’d recommend that Cena leaves now.

Now cue Kane’s pyro but the lights go out. There’s organ music and here he comes, complete with the welder’s mask. Henry has bailed and Kane circles the ring to look at him. Then he turns to look at Cena. Kane takes the mask off and has the red one on as he gets in the ring. Cena immediately hammers him down and clotheslines him over the ropes.

Kane lands on his feet and pulls Cena to the floor. He puts Cena on the table and puts his hand over Cena’s face and smothers him. I think Cena bit his lip because it looks like he’s bleeding from the mouth. Kane rips the shirt off Cena (it was cut at the top earlier) and leaves with it. Cena looks terrified.

Primo/Epico vs. Usos

We get the Siva Tao and Rosa dancing. My night is complete. Primo starts with let’s say Jey. The heels take over and I’d really rather just look at Rosa in those tiny shorts. Air Boom is watching in the back as Epico beats up Jey. Hot tag to Jimmy who hits a Bubba Bomb and the running Umaga (NOT RIKISHI) shot in the corner. And then the Backstabber ends him at 2:56. Too short to rate but it was pretty much the same thing from Smackdown.

Cody says the Rumble ad wasn’t as ridiculous as Booker thinking he could win the title. Santino pops up with a gift for him but Cody doesn’t want it. The Cobra pops out of it, as in the one on Santino’s arm.

Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes

Non-title again. Santino does some martial arts stuff and gets punched in the face. Santino gets in a few shots but shouting COBRA seems to be a bad idea as he walks into an Alabama Slam for the pin at 1:28.

Here’s Nickelback’s performance from Tribute to the Troops.

The Bellas hit on Ace and get in an argument over who is a floozy. They rant about Teddy and Ace says the board is watching him. He wishes them a Merry Christmas and they kiss him on the cheek then leave. Vickie barges in and demands a rematch for Ziggler. Horny pops in with mistletoe and kisses her, prompting lots of screaming.

We get an interview off WWE.com with Ryder and his dad after the show. That win really was a cool moment.

Big Show says he had it last night and it lasted 45 seconds. It took him 9 years to get there and he’s speechless. It’s his fault though because he encouraged Bryan to cash in a few weeks ago. Show looks like he wants to kill someone but is smiling most of the time. Josh eggs him on and says that Show is going to probably have the record for shortest world title reign in history and he’ll probably hold that forever. Show looks down at him and for some reason I’m cracking up at it. He shakes his head, says he’s ok, and walks away.

The Miz/Alberto Del Rio/Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder/Daniel Bryan/CM Punk

During Alberto’s entrance, the Second Coming video happens again. The word this time is prophetless. Is that even a word? Ryder comes in through the crowd. You can tell the Philly fans like him as they don’t mug him. Bryan does the same, as does Punk. How much nicer it is just to change ANYTHING a little bit. It can really make a huge difference. Punk vs. Miz gets us going. Bryan got by far the weakest reaction of all three faces if you’re curious.

Ziggler comes in and takes the surfboard knee stomp. Off to Ziggler who gets a Woo chant. Del Rio misses a charge and all three heels are outside. Bryan teases a suicide dive so that Ryder can hit his flip dive. Bryan takes out Ziggler with a knee from the apron and Punk dives off the top. The champs rule the ring (Punk takes a bow) as we take a break. Back with Bryan kicking Miz but getting caught in a DDT for two.

The heels beat on Bryan for awhile as we hit the main event formula for a tag match. Del Rio works on the arm and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Bryan gets his knees up and it’s hot tag to Ryder. The Broski Boot puts Ziggler down for two but he gets caught in a Miz chinlock. He backdrops Del Rio to the floor and it’s double tag to Miz and Punk. Macho Elbow of course gets an eruption in an old WWF town like Philly. Anaconda Vice goes on but Dolph makes the save. Another double tag brings in Del Rio and Miz and it breaks down quickly. GTS to Miz and Cole is losing it. The LeBell Lock ends Del Rio at 13:12.

Rating: C. This was a main event tag and this was fine. The whole point of this was to have some fun and let the new champions get their win on their first night with their titles. That’s perfectly fine and this wasn’t supposed to be anything big and epic. There’s nothing wrong with that and the match worked fine for what it was.

Big celebration ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling wasn’t the point here. This was one of those throwaway shows I was talking about in the intro. It wasn’t bad or anything, but this was just a placeholder until we get to the new year and start the Rumble build. They did this for the last few years and that’s fine. The triple champion focus was a nice touch and it’s very refreshing to see them just mix things up a little bit. Fun show, although not very good from a quality standpoint.

Results
Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Barrett poked Orton in the eye
Alicia Fox b. Beth Phoenix – Flipping legdrop
Sheamus b. Jinder Mahal – Celtic Cross
Epico/Primo b. Usos – Backstabber to Jey
Cody Rhodes b. Santino Marella – Alabama Slam
CM Punk/Daniel Bryan/Zack Ryder b. The Miz/Dolph Ziggler/Alberto Del Rio – LeBell Lock to Del Rio

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Title reigns have been longer lately, so maybe there are better options here.I’m going to take Miz as WWE Champion.  In short, he beat John Cena in the main event of Wrestlemania.

That

Does

Not

Happen.

Literally, that’s the first time he’s ever lost in the main event of Mania.  He lost in a triple threat at Mania 24 but Miz beat Cena in a one on one match at Mania.  That’s the only time it’s ever happened and it’s hard to top that.  Also, it was the longest reign with that title in like 3 years.  Not bad at all.

Your thoughts/picks?

Tables Ladders and Chairs 2011
Date: December 18, 2011
Location: 1st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is the final PPV of the year for 2011 and I’m really not all that thrilled by it. The main event isn’t really clear, as there are a few matches that could go on last. It could be either of the world title matches or the ladder match with HHH vs. Nash. Surprisingly enough, there’s no Cena match on here to speak of. Also, hopefully, Ryder finally gets his US Title tonight. Let’s get to it.

Basic video, talking about choosing your weapon.

Vickie introduces Dolph.

US Title: Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler

Battle of the Z’s here. Ziggler has on blue trunks and they’re really not working for him. Ryder controls early on and is pretty fired up here. The champ gets control quickly though, hitting a DDT onto the apron. Ziggler drops a bunch (as in like ten) elbows on Ryder but they only get two. Off to a chinlock and the fans chant “Let’s go Ryder, Woo Woo Woo”. Ziggler uses Ryder’s body to brace himself for situps.

And now let’s start talking about Twitter. Ryder fights back but gets caught in an Angle Slam for two. Ryder comes back and hits a missile dropkick from the middle rope for two. Here’s his comeback and the Broski Boot hits. Vickie puts Ziggler’s foot on the ropes and gets ejected for it. They trade rollups and Ziggler tries two Fameassers, one of which hits. Dropkick gets two for Dolph. He goes up and gets crotched, allowing Ryder to bust out a top rope rana for two. I love how his arms fly up in the air on every cover.

Rough Ryder is countered into a hot shot into the post for two. The fans are still cheering for Ryder as they were earlier. Out of nowhere, Ryder hits the Rough Ryder and WINS THE TITLE at 10:25. The camera immediately cuts to Ryder’s dad in the crowd which is a really nice touch. They treated this like a really big moment, which it was.

Rating: B-. Why it didn’t happen in MSG is beyond me but whatever. This is the definition of a guy working as hard as he could have, the fans responding to it, and the company PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT THE PEOPLE WANTED. I can’t emphasize that enough: the WWE listened to what the fans were telling them and pushed him accordingly. Pretty decent match too.

Booker is getting ready in the back when Cody jumps him and beats him down. Booker says he’s ok and looks all ticked off.

Tag Titles: Air Boom vs. Epico/Primo

Epico vs. Bourne gets us started. They trade near falls for a little while and it’s off to Kofi. All champions so far. More near falls for the champions and the heels finally start double teaming Bourne. Rosa keeps shouting in Spanish because that’s what evil Hispanics do. Epico busts out some rolling belly to backs for two. How has this match been going five minutes already?

You would think a match with Kofi Kingston as the biggest guy would go a little faster. Gory Stretch by Epico is countered into a sunset flip for two. Hot tag finally brings in Kofi who hits every Puerto Rican in blue in sight. Boom Drop to Primo sets up Trouble in Paradise but he settles for a springboard crossbody instead. Everything breaks down and Bourne dives to the floor to take out Epico. Trouble in Paradise hits in the ring and they keep the titles at 7:32.

Rating: C-. This was fine and I can’t really complain about bonus wrestling. They had to flesh out the card somehow and I figured this might be the pick. Also it’s good to get the titles on PPV again, even in a match like this. Air Boom will probably drop them soon, but I hope it’s to someone better than the Colons Paso Dos.

Josh has no update on Booker but Cody was very happy a few seconds ago, so the match may be off. That’s not official though.

Teddy Long is in the back as Santa and Horny is his depressed elf. He finally points out that he’s an adult and asks why there’s a black Santa. Teddy: “In my neighborhood, no fat jolly white man would ever come down my chimney.” Teddy gives Horny a gift: Rosetta Stone Ebonics. Horny kicks Santa in the shin.

Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

This is a tables match. Orton takes over quickly and goes for a table, but Barrett kicks it into his face with a thud. Orton is like “I have 4 nicknames” and goes after Barrett as Lawler makes Roman nose jokes. A table is set up outside and they fight up the aisle where there are like 8 tables set up. Barrett sets for the pumphandle through one of them but Orton escapes. Barrett THINKS and knocks the table near him away.

Back at ringside and Orton goes into the post and then takes a boot. Barrett is busted a bit. Wade takes forever messing with tables, setting one up on the floor and sliding one into the ring. Orton moves off the table to avoid a dive so Barrett pounds on him some more. In the ring a middle rope elbow hits Orton and Barrett takes him to the apron. He hits a big boot to try to knock Randy through the table on the floor but Orton hooks the rope.

Barrett sets one up in the corner but Orton starts his comeback. Powerslam puts Wade down and there’s a counter to the elevated DDT. Barrett tries a running big boot but gets caught in the ropes. He tries Wasteland on the apron but Orton elbows out of it. Now the elevated DDT hits in the ring. Barrett reverses a throw into the corner table and hits the Bossman Slam to take over. He beats on Orton a bit more and puts him on the table. Wade goes to the second turnbuckle on the inside but jumps into an RKO through the table to end this at 10:16.

Rating: C. These matches are hard to grade because they’re regular matches without covers until the end. I think everyone probably knew this was going to be Orton winning, but the good thing is that it keeps Barrett hot because he doesn’t get pinned. Also he can still get a win next month or on Smackdown so this is probably far from done. Not great, but nothing too bad.

The Bellas sit on Teddy’s lap and debate who the good or bad sister is. Teddy gives them his number for a gift. Swagger comes in after they leave and wants to know what Teddy is going to do after Henry hit him with a chair on Friday. Teddy isn’t going to do anything about it and asks Jack to sit on his lap. Sheamus comes in and I think I know where this is going. The Great White (seriously, what is up with that name?) has some Irish humor for Swagger and yep, Teddy makes the match.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

I have no idea if this match was announced or not. This is about the Slammys or something like that. Kelly takes over to start and I kind of wonder why she isn’t Alicia, as in the girl that’s been pushed lately. There’s the screaming headscissors but she gets caught in a gorilla press. Beth works on the back and tries a bunch of covers for two. She goes up and misses a guillotine legdrop. K2 is countered and they botch the backflip. Glam Slam into the rollup is countered so Beth wins with something like an electric chair at 5:14.

Rating: D. I don’t get why this division exists. The girls aren’t that good, not many people care about them, and the only thing about Kelly that matters is she looks good in tiny gold shorts. Ok she looks good in any color shorts. The matches sucked as usual and I don’t think anyone is surprised at that. Just go back to the swimsuit contests already.

Del Rio yells at Ricardo for not having the car or the food ready. Miz comes up and says the alliance is over after this show. Del Rio says it wasn’t really an alliance in the first place. They argue over legacies and Del Rio calls him a stupid little boy. Ricardo comes up with something for Del Rio to eat and it winds up in his face.

Ad for the Rumble, which features Santino as a psychic.

Booker comes out for the IC Title match and Cody jumps him again. His head hit the barricade as Cody jumped him. Booker is ticked.

We recap HHH vs. Nash. This is about Nash getting a pop at the Rumble (11 months ago) but HHH wouldn’t bring him back in. Nash did it himself and then beat up HHH.

HHH vs. Kevin Nash

This is the sledgehammer ladder match. They pound on each other to start with the power moves and head to the floor. HHH gets a ladder but gets kicked into it. Nash sets one up on the floor but HHH dives off the announce table with a clothesline to take over. Nash into the crowd now but he gets an elbow up to a charging Game. Snake Eyes onto the barricade puts HHH down and there’s a one man Vinnie Vegas chant.

They head into the ring and HHH takes over, using the ladder onto the knees. Now some of the weakest ladder shots ever onto said knee. HHH wraps the ladder around Nash’s legs and hooks a Figure Four in it. It’s better than the one around the post at least. Nash manages to whip HHH into the ladder and out to the floor in a solid bump. Side slam onto the ladder and HHH is in trouble.

Nash puts the ladder onto the bottom rope and does the slingshot into it instead of the rope. And then the crowd goes silent for a bit. Out to the floor and Nash sets for the Jackknife through the table, but HHH backdrops him onto said table instead. HHH makes the first climb up the ladder, 13 minutes into the match. He just gets a hand on it as Nash makes the save. Remember that you have to get a pin after getting it down.

There’s a chokeslam of all things and Nash goes to the floor again. He sets up a table in the ring and there goes the strap. HHH kind of spears him into the ladder and knocks him to the floor. The Game goes up but Nash is back and they slug it out on the ladder. HHH knocks the hammer into Nash’s head and Nash actually goes off the ladder through the table. I didn’t think he had it in him.

HHH gets the hammer down and Nash is on his feet a minute after falling that far. HHH destroys Nash with the hammer but Nash is back to his knees in a minute. The first Pedigree attempt doesn’t work and the second doesn’t actually involve Nash’s face touching the mat. We’re still not done yet though as Nash is on his knees again less than a mintue later. HHH gets the hammer and Nash flashes the Kliq sign. A hammer shot ends this at 18:12.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t that bad, but at the end of the day is Kevin Nash vs. HHH getting 18 minutes and we’re less than two weeks from the year 2012. Also the completely absurd lack of selling at the end of this really hurt things. Nash is painfully slow but I think everyone knew that was coming. Not as bad as it was expected to be, but I still don’t see why this needed to happen.

Nash goes out on a stretcher.

Punk says the beating on Monday was painful but it wasn’t as painful as Ace taking his Slammy. Ace pops up and says he mailed the Slammy to him. They trade some verbal jabs and that’s about it.

Jack Swagger vs. Sheamus

Sheamus hammers him down to start as we hear about his career as an IT guy. All Sheamus so far. Vickie yells at him so Jack can ram him into the post and then the barricade. Vader Bomb gets two in the ring. Sheamus fires back but can’t get much going. Swagger goes after the leg a bit and hooks the ankle lock. When that doesn’t work, the Brogue Kick ends this at 5:55.

Rating: D+. It’s just a first hour TV main event but it’s bonus PPV wrestling so it’s hard to complain here. They needed something to flesh out this card and it’s good to put Sheamus out there and get him some camera time. He’s probably next in line for Henry so you can’t really complain here. Pretty dull match but nothing unwatchable.

Show says he’ll win.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Mark Henry

It’s a chairs match, meaning they’re legal. Show’s singlet is now camo. Show immediately goes to the floor and throws in like ten chairs. Him just casually tossing them about ten feet in the air is scary impressive. They both have chairs now but Henry drops his and gets out. He grabs the title and says this isn’t happening. Show goes after him and ducks a title shot so he can wear Henry out with chair shots.

They start slugging it out and Henry cracks him with a chair. Henry goes after the hand so that Show can’t use his two finishers. Show tries to come back but his hand is worthless. Henry makes a pile of chairs but the Slam is broken up. He goes for a chair shot but Show fires off the big punch. AND IT GETS THE PIN AT 5:35????? REALLY?????

Rating: C. Call me crazy but I liked it. There’s something cool about two guys just going off on each other with chair shots. This worked pretty well for what it was and keeping it short was the right idea. The important thing is coming though so I’m cutting this short.

Post match Henry hits him with a DDT on the chairs AND HERE’S BRYAN!!! HE WINS THE TITLE!!!!! Cole is STUNNED. Bryan Danielson and CM Punk are currently the world champions in WWE and might be at Wrestlemania. Let that sink in for a bit.

Booker says he’s going to try to compete tonight and he looks MAD.

Intercontinental Title: Booker T vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody hammers him down to start but Booker hits a side kick and sends Cody to the floor. As they head back in, Cody gets in a shot to put Booker down. Pretty boring stuff here as they know the fans are all catching their breath at once. A double clothesline puts them both down and they slug it out a bit. Cody winds up holding onto the bottom rope and we get a Spinarooni. It makes him dizzy and the scissors kick misses. Side kick misses and the Beautiful Disaster gets two. Another one ends this at 7:15.

Rating: D+. Like I said not much here, but this was all about filling in time before the main event. They would have been better suited having Sheamus vs. Swagger here, but the match wasn’t bad or anything. Cody wins as he should have and he gets a little more validation with a win over a big name. If that’s it for Booker, there’s not much to complain about here.

They actually recap the show up to this point.

Raw World Title: Miz vs. CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

TLC match. The heels jump Punk to start but Punk fights them off. Lawler thinks there are pins in this but Cole actually saves him, saying that Lawler is confused because this match has never happened before. He wasn’t rude about it either. Punk gets double teamed and they slowly go to the floor since they don’t trust each other. Miz goes after Ricardo so Del Rio hits him with a chair.

Punk dives out onto Del Rio to take over and it’s him vs. Miz in the ring. Punk tries the bulldog onto the chair but Miz counters into a belly to back onto the unfolded chair. Miz goes for a ladder but Del Rio stops him, sending him into the ladder. Everyone goes to the floor now and Miz swings a chair but hits the post. Punk wears him out with that chair and Del Rio is down from a chair shot as well.

Punk puts Miz on the railing and hits the running knee, using a chair as a springboard. He sets the ladder up in the ring but Ricardo runs in and handcuffs Punk to the ladder. That’s a new one. Del Rio hammers him down but the shots break the cuffs and Punk is free. Miz gets what appears to be a huge ladder and beats Punk down with it. He gets a hand on the belt but Punk saves.

They go to the corner and Del Rio hits the running enziguri to knock Punk to the floor and through a table. Del Rio throws a miniladder at Miz in the aisle and does the cross armbreaker with the ladder deal to Miz. He goes back to Punk and does the same but with a chair. He goes up but both guys make the save and crotch him on the top rope. Ricardo goes up and Punk knocks him off the top through a table on the floor.

Miz manages to cuff Punk to the ropes and the champ panics. Miz of course taunts him instead of going up and Punk fires off a kick to the head. Del Rio has a ladder up and Punk tries to kick the ring apart. Miz has a bigger ladder as Punk continues his straightedge tool work. Eventually he gets free and Punk destroys them all. Miz makes the save and I really thought that was it. GTS to Miz and that’s enough for Punk to retain at 18:25.

Rating: B. This was about what you would expect from a triple threat TLC match. It wasn’t anything classic but it was entertaining enough and that’s the whole point of it. The handcuffs didn’t really play into things that well but they were trying something new out there and I’ll give them points for that. Not a classic or anything but I’ve certainly seen worse.

Overall Rating: B. This was certainly a good show but it had some weak parts. The HHH vs. Nash match is a lot more acceptable if it ENDS the feud and I mean forever. A lot happened here and I think their idea was to throw so much stuff at us so fast that we couldn’t really tell if it was good or not. Overall it was good, but I didn’t have as much fun with it as others probably did. Still fun though and a nice surprise, but it’ll tank in buyrates and all of the booking will be blamed.

Results
Zack Ryder b. Dolph Ziggler – Rough Ryder
Air Boom b. Primo/Epico – Trouble in Paradise to Primo
Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett – Orton put Barrett through a table
Beth Phoenix b. Kelly Kelly – Electric Chair
HHH b. Kevin Nash – Pedigree
Big Show b. Mark Henry – WMD
Daniel Bryan b. Big Show – Pin after a DDT onto a pile of chairs
Cody Rhodes b. Booker T – Beautiful Disaster
CM Punk b. The Miz and Alberto Del Rio – Punk pulled down the title

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