Monday Night Raw
Date: May 2, 2011
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Jerry Lawler

It’s the Rock’s birthday tonight and the Great One is on Raw.  We also have a new WWE Champion as Cena ended Miz’s title reign last night at Extreme Rules.  With just three weeks before Over the Limit they’re kind of in a hurry to get to the buildup for the next PPV.  Also tonight is a dual branded show so the Smackdown crew is here, including the new World Heavyweight Champion, Christian.  Also given the news with Osama bin Laden last night you can almost guarantee some patriotic themed stuff.  Let’s get to it.

The show opens with a video about 9/11 and how bin Laden is dead.  That just makes you smile a little bit.  We get a clip of the 9/13 show which is still pretty awesome.  Lillian Garcia is here to sing the National Anthem.  Still incredible.

Here’s your theme song as performed by a Canadian band.

Miz vs. Cena for the title tonight.

Screw that though: here’s Rock to open the show, naturally in the flag Brahma Bull shirt.  Talk about being on top of the world: his movie DESTROYED everyone else at the box office this week and the bin Laden capture, his birthday, and he’s currently penciled in for a world title shot at Wrestlemania.  Not bad.  He looks rather happy to be here and emotional at the same time.

After a very lengthy entrance it’s time to talk.  Finally he’s back home.  Before he gets started though, he has one thing to say: WE GOT HIM!  He thanks the troops and leads the crowd in the Pledge of Allegiance.  Rock talks about growing up in Miami and being in school here, including a picture of him with a mustache and small afro.  “Laugh at it all you want but that face devoured more pie than King Kong Bundy in a Polish bakery.”

Now it’s time for college, where he was a Hurricane for The U (his words).  He talks about how awesome the university was and back in the day, that place was the best football school on the planet.  Awesome academic school also.  Rock says story time is over and it’s time to party.  There’s an e-mail but Rock cuts Cole off, saying if you have a message for the Rock, say it to his face.

Various insults follow and Cole says he’s a man now.  He’s a winner and says he associates himself with winners.  Cole takes his jacket and shirt off, revealing a Boston Celtics jersey, which is the team the Miami Heat are playing in the playoffs.  The ironic part of this is Miami is up 1-0 so Garnett isn’t even a winner at the moment.  Cole says he’ll deliver the message to Dwayne’s face.

The GM wants an apology due to Rock embarrassing the GM at Mania or the party is shut down.  Cole wants one also for all of the embarrassments over the years.  Rock agrees, and apologizes, somehow managing to draw boos from this crowd.  Rock’s handshake is very slowly accepted but Rock isn’t pleased with the jersey.  Rock says Go Heat and it’s a Rock Bottom for Cole.  With the U hand signal here’s the People’s Elbow.

Rock’s music starts but he cuts it off.  He brings out someone named Pitbull who is apparently a rapper from Miami.  The fans seem to be into him.  He performs a song and the Miami Heat dancers come out to perform with him.

Morrison vs. Truth up next.

LeBron James and Dwayne Wade say happy birthday Rock.  Ok that’s kind of a big deal.

John Morrison vs. R-Truth

JR has replaced Cole (ten weeks of a rotating commentary team in a row) on commentary.  Truth jumps Morrison during his entrance and sends him head first into the floor.  Morrison has allegedly injured his neck as referees carry him out.  He walks out but is going very slowly.  No match.  Truth jumps him again and gives him another Downward Spiral with Morrison’s head coming nowhere near the stage on the impact.

Jimmy Kimmel wishes Rock a happy birthday and we get an oily men in underwear reference. Also there’s candy in his pants.  You figure the joke out yourself.

Kelly Kelly vs. Maryse

Kelly looking GOOD tonight.  And never mind as Kharma comes out after about 10 seconds.  Kelly had taken Maryse down already and then just sat there for like 40 seconds as Kharma came down.  She deserves to die them.  Implant Buster to Maryse as Kharma just leaves Kelly alone.  No match again.

Miz yells at Riley for not being there last night.  He’s late tonight due to the crowd of people for Rock’s birthday.  Riley better be there tonight.

Paul Walker says happy birthday to the Rock and makes some bad Cena references.  He does call him Fruity Pebbles though.

Samuel L. Jackson says happy birthday and says Rock is from another planet.  Planet 51 perhaps?  He would run through a lion’s den with steak underwear on.  Wow indeed.

Rock is with the Divas and talks about singing happy birthday to Michelle Obama.  There’s a bit party going on in the back and various people make cameos.  Kozlov has a movie script for him and Santino comes up as….oh ok it’s Rock’s character from Fast 5.  Horny runs in as the Scorpion King.  He has a tooth ache apparently, so……oh sweet merciful goodness here’s Khali in a pink tooth fairy dress with wings and a tiara.  He says you can’t handle the tooth.  Ron Simmons pops up and there’s only one thing to say.  Cute comedy segment but that dress is going to haunt my nightmares.

Cena vs. Miz next.

Steve Carrell wishes Rock a forced (literally) happy birthday.  He says this is against his will and he doesn’t like Dwayne.  He was promised money and has received none.  This is against his will and he doesn’t endorse Johnson.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Miz

We get big match intros for this as I can’t believe we’re over halfway done with the show.  Miz grabs a headlock to start and that gets him nowhere.  Cena fights back and gets a dropkick for one.  Almost all Cena here and he takes down Riley also.  Miz hammers away and the referee pulls him off, allowing Riley to get a shot in.  A shot into the steps gets two.

Corner clothesline hits by the former champ as the fans are split.  Double axe off the top hits for two as we take a break.  Back with Miz in control, getting a neckbreaker for two.  Cena comes back with his usual stuff and the Shuffle gets two.  Miz fights out of the AA and is holding his shoulder.  Big boot puts Cena down but a second attempt is countered into the STF.  Rope is grabbed though and Miz gets a low DDT for two.

There goes a turnbuckle pad as the referee is apparently blind.  Cena blocks the shot into it but can’t get the AA again.  Reality Check gets two.  This is better than it sounds as they’re not making Miz look like a joke.  The Finale is blocked and Miz is knocked into the referee.  STF goes on and Miz taps.  Riley comes in with the briefcase and it goes into Cena’s ribs.  Finale hits for a VERY close two.  Crowd is into this big time.

Miz walks into the AA and THAT gets two.  I would have bet money on that one.  Ok probably not but you get the idea.  Riley distracts again and a belt shot by Miz GETS THE PIN!  What just happened?  Miz has the title behind his back and the referee is confused.  The fall came at 12:15 if you’re curious.  The referee waves the fall off because he sees the belt.  CHEAP!  Not only that, Miz LOSES by DQ because there was a belt in the ring.  I hate how WWE changes rules every five minutes like this.  Drives me crazy.

Rating: B. Very good match here and far better than their Mania match.  The false finishes were great and it was the STUPID ending that held it back from being even better.  Miz looks completely equal to main event stars and that’s the best thing you could say about him.  Good match, terribly stupid ending.

Cena beats them both up post match.

Ellen Degeneres fails to come up with a good catchphrase but says happy birthday.

Tyler Perry wishes Rock happy birthday.  He does some Madea also.

We get a clip from after the PPV went off the air last night with Cena making the announcement that Osama had been killed.  He said compromised to a permanent end instead of killed/assassinated though.

Ricardo does the full entrance for Alberto but he’s in a suit (and a Rolls Royce).  He’s doing commentary for the following tag match.

Rey Mysterio/Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger/Drew McIntyre

Swagger and McIntyre have a pose in the aisle which looked uh……how do I put this…….think of Billy and Chuck.  Swagger vs. Rey to start us off and it’s off to Kofi quickly.  Big boot takes Kofi down and we take a break.  Back with Swagger having a crossface chickenwing broken up as he tags in Drew.  Kofi rolls him up for two and McIntyre does the same.

Swagger takes over again as Alberto says Rey isn’t a real Mexican.  Off to Rey who cleans house and gets two on McIntyre.  Trouble in Paradise to McIntyre sets up the 619.  Alberto gets up and Rey glares at the villain, but instead just goes with a top rope splash (called a senton by JR) to end it at 8:40.

Rating: C. Not a great match but it’s ok at least and they let the new draft picks get on TV and have some stuff develop.  Alberto vs. Rey looks to be happening….again and I guess we’ll get Swagger vs. Kofi….again, but that one at least didn’t have a blowoff before so that helps a bit.  Just a tag match really though.

WWE had an anti-bullying rally and started an organization in Washington DC.  Yes, we get it: bullying is bad.

Ludacris wishes Rock happy birthday.

Dan Marino says the basics.

Rock congratulates the new World Heavyweight Champion, Christian.  That’s his cameo I guess.  Vickie comes in with Dolph and they have a present for him.  It’s a cake that’s about five feet tall.  He loves pie so they pull it back and there’s Mae Young who looks….well she looks like Mae Young.  They laugh and Rock says shut up.  Rock says Vickie can lose all the weight she wants and she’ll never be as beautiful as Mae Young.  Rock kisses Mae full on the lips and says he gets more pie in one night than Dolph gets in a lifetime.

Rock turns around and sees John Cena.  The Divas aren’t even paying attention.  Cena has a gift for Rock which he can only get from Cena.  It’s the WWE Championship, which he’s going to keep until Wrestlemania.  If Rock wants it, he has to go through Cena.  Rock says just bring it.  Cool moment as always with these two.

Kane vs. Mason Ryan next.

George Lopez has some coupons for Rock for his birthday.  Ok then.

Mason Ryan vs. Kane

Kane gets shoved to the floor to start and a clothesline puts Kane down.  After Kane gets beaten down with slams and various other power stuff, Punk comes in for the DQ at 1:38.  Nexus runs out for the beatdown and Kane fights them off.  Ryan casually breaks a chokeslam which was impressive.  Show comes down and Ryan spears him down with ease.

Ryan leaves without Nexus who look at him and aren’t happy.

Rock’s party is up next.  It’s 11:00 and we’re going to a commercial.

Regis and Kelly say happy birthday.

Craig Ferguson says happy birthday.

Everyone in the front row has birthday hats on now.  Rock says he’s happy to be a son of Miami and a proud Hurricane.  Rock’s family is in the front row.  He promises that Wrestlemania will be the biggest of all time.  Here’s Vince of all people.  He talks about a day a long time ago when Rock said he could make WWE reach new levels and Rock has done it.

Vince wants to thank Rock for being the Rock and for coming home.  There’s a present for him and it’s a video about his career and life, set to I’m Coming Home by Diddy Dirty Money.  There are some awesome old school videos from him as a football player and with various people such as Andre the Giant and Muhammad Ali as a kid.

Back in the arena Maya is here to sing Happy Birthday to Rock.  The catchphrase finally takes us out as streamers and confetti fall.

Overall Rating: B-. And yes I know there wasn’t a ton of wrestling.  That wasn’t the point to this show yet I’m sure people will complain about it anyway.  This show was about a celebration for Rock and to draw fans in by having him there.  There’s nothing wrong with putting a show into coast mode which is what is usually done the first week after a PPV.  We had a good show here and some stuff was set up for Over the Limit.  Not bad here at all and definitely entertaining overall.

Results

John Morrison vs. R-Truth went to a no contest when R-Truth jumped Morrison

Kelly Kelly vs. Maryse went to a no contest when Kharma interfered

John Cena b. The Miz via DQ when Miz hit Cena with the WWE Championship

Kofi Kingston/Rey Mysterio b. Drew McIntyre/Jack Swagger – Mysterio pinned McIntyre after a top rope splash

Kane b. Mason Ryan via DQ when CM Punk interfered

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 18, 2011
Location: O2 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

We’re in England tonight as you can see by the location of the show.  This show was taped which might explain some differences in the look and feel of the show.  We’re apparently a week away from the 2011 WWE Draft which means this might be the last night a lot of Raw stars are well….Raw stars.  We also will likely get some more matches added to the Extreme Rules card.  Let’s get to it.

Nickelback opens us up.  Awesome.  Yes I like them.  Go ahead and make your jokes.

Here’s R-Truth to open the show in the arena.  Cole cuts Lawler and King off almost immediately and says it’s not 12 years ago.  Lawler says he likes listening to R-Truth rap.  Why do I have a problem believing that?  Truth says he’s going to preach the gospel.  He’s been down a long road of trials, tribulations and demons.  His problem now is that he’s in line to become WWE Champion.  Cena’s name is booed.  For the WWE Universe he’s fighting everybody anywhere anytime.  And that is the truth.

Cue John Morrison who says he’s happy but would be happier if it was him.  Morrison says Truth got lucky last week.  Truth says he’s in the best shape of his life.  We get a clip from last week where during a commercial a referee handed Truth some water as Cena came in.  Morrison says Truth is in good shape for someone who smokes.

Truth: “All you’re trying to do is get me to challenge you to a match for my spot at Extreme Rules.”  Morrison: “All right I accept.”  Morrison points out that Truth said he’d fight anybody and the people seem to like the idea.  Truth says he’ll do it on two conditions.  First up a bottle of water and a cigarette.  Morrison says he’ll need some luck too.  Crowd had no response at all to those three final things.

John Morrison vs. R-Truth

This is for the spot at Extreme Rules apparently.  Morrison takes over early and Truth hits the floor.  The fans aren’t thrilled as he gets some water and we take a break.  Back with Truth holding a headlock and then grabbing some pinning combinations for two.  Back to the headlock again as I guess Truth was tired again?  Morrison makes a small comeback with clotheslines but is takes down by a spinning kick by Truth.

Truth works on the arm for a bit and hits that suplex into a Stunner move of him for two.  Axe kick misses as does Morrison’s kick off the middle rope.  Morrison blocks the jumping downward spiral (which I think is called What’s Up but I’m not sure), putting Truth in perfect position for Starship Pain to end this in 7:08 (counting commercial).  Morrison is now in the PPV main event.

Rating: C. Just an ok match here but the water angle was kind of interesting for a nice twist.  The reaction to the change in the triple threat is kind of surprising though as they acted like it was no big deal at all.  Not a terrible match but just kind of there.  The best word I can think of for this match is basic.  It wasn’t anything great but it wasn’t bad either.  Average grade sounds right.

Truth goes off on Morrison post match, apparently turning heel.  He throws in a running knee to Morrison’s head, driving it into the railing.  Then he kind of hougs Morrison and says it’s all right before throwing him down on the floor.  He steals Jerry’s water and blasts Morrison in the head with it.  Truth says John did this and hits What’s Up on the floor.  He gets a cigarette from a fan and actually lights up.  Never thought I’d see that on WWE programming.  He blows smoke on Morrison and throws the lit cigarette at him before leaving.  Long segment here but not too bad.

Evan Bourne vs. Dolph Ziggler

No entrance for Bourne here other than a faint trace of his music.  Vickie does the regular entrance for Ziggler, who she claims is new and improved.  He has a haircut and dark hair now.  Well he doesn’t look like Curt Hennig anymore.  Ziggler takes over quickly but is caught in a hurricanrana.  Bourne tries to come off the ropes but gets caught by a dropkick for two.

We hit the mat and Ziggler looks like he’s unsure what he wants to do before settling on a bow and arrow kind of hold for a bit.  Bourne keeps trying to fight back with some strikes but Ziggler takes him down with ease.  A nice little string of offense by Evan ends with a spin kick for two.  He goes up for Air Bourne but Ziggler moves.  Bourne LANDS ON HIM FEET but is caught in a Zig Zag to end it at 2:10.  That landing by Bourne was amazing.

Cole is going to be knighted later apparently.

The Raw Rewind is all three of Sin Cara’s appearances.

Video of Edge’s two appearances last week, set to 3 Doors Down’s When You’re Young.  Del Rio is going to have a farewell party for Edge on Smackdown apparently.

Here’s Miz in a new shirt, along with Riley.   It looks like a baseball jersey and says Awesome.  Miz complains about being in a triple threat match and having it changed on him.  The match is going to be in a cage also where you can win by pinfall, submission or escape.  He wants a chair because he’s going to protest this change as we take a break.

Back with Miz running his mouth as we come back in mid sentence.  He’s talking about how it doesn’t matter who does something because at Extreme Rules he’s going to still be champion at the end of the match.  He sets for the catchphrase and Sin (Scene according to JR) Cara’s music cuts him off.

Sin Cara vs. Alex Riley

BIG height on the trampoline this week as he easily clears the top rope.  Loud Sin Cara chant starts and here’s Cena at a full sprint to clear the ring.  Well you can’t say Cara isn’t getting a good rub right of the bat.  The GM sends an e-mail to make it a tag match.  Works for me.

Alex Riley/The Miz vs. John Cena/Sin Cara

Riley and Cena start with the fans booing Cena out of the building.  Bulldog takes Alex down and he bails to the floor as we take another break.  Back with Cena taking it to Miz FU is blocked and Miz gets a Side Effect to send Cena into the corner.  The announcers talk about the Draft and Jerry wants to know if Cole is drafted off Raw.  My guess would be very little would change as he already does Smackdown but what do I know?

Riley and Miz hammer on Cena a bit more until Cena gets that sitout powerslam kind of move he hit last week.  That’s enough for the hot tag as Cara comes in by kind of jumping into Miz.  Things speed way up and Cara hits all kinds of dives and springboard moves to take down both opponents.  He sets for what looked like a springboard splash of some sort but Riley made the save, pulling him to the floor.

Miz rams him into the apron and takes over as they’re now the legal men.  The dueling Cena chants begin as Riley gets a clothesline for two.  Back off to the champion who can’t get his running clothesline in the corner.  Double tags bring in Riley and Cena and John initiates his ending sequence.  Before 5 Knuckle Shuffle he takes out Miz.  The champ picks up his title to leave as Cena hits the FU on Riley.  Tag brings in Sin Cara who TOTALLY misses a springboard moonsault which is enough to end this at 10:30.

Rating: C+. Not a terrible match but Cara still looks really shaky out there and can’t hit some very basic spots.  If not for the sake of a quick camera edit that ending would have looked completely unrealistic and even with it the move looked bad.  Cara is trying but he looks like he’s about to go flying to the floor any second.  Not a good sign to be sure.

Nikki Bella vs. Eve Torres

Brie says that she wants a rematch but Eve might get drafted to Smackdown.  Not really any kind of a threat or anything but just kind of a statement of fact.  Eve misses a baseball slide to Nikki as she’s in a Tree of Woe to let Nikki take over.  Brie I think tries to slam Eve’s knee into the apron but the contact doesn’t seem to be there.  Nikki misses a double knee drop and Eve gets a rollup to end it at 1:48.

Eve poses after her win and Cole cuts it off.  He’s going to be knighted next.

Back with Cole in the ring and he calls out Swagger.  Jack comes out in a suit holding what looks like a robe over his arm.  Swagger doesn’t look mad at him after last week.  They hug so I guess everything is ok.  Swagger pulls out a scroll and botches saying “Hear Ye” by saying “Hear He”.  Tonight we add a new item to his hall of fame career as he becomes Sir Michael Cole.

Swagger brings out a woman that is called Queen Elizabeth.  The fans boo loudly as she reads whatever proclamation she has and taps him on the shoulders with the sword.  Cole kisses the queen and tries to start a Sir Michael Cole chant.  The fans reply by chanting sucks.  Cole says to show respect because they’re all his peasants.  And speaking of peasants, he turns his attention to JR and the King.  Isn’t a King ahead of a knight?

Cole says they should kiss his feet.  Cole takes his shoe and sock off, revealing a disgusting looking foot that looks like it’s dirty and infected or something.  Swagger takes Lawler out and then grabs Ross.  JR of course refuses so the ankle lock goes on and down goes Ross onto the foot.  Cole and Swagger stand tall.

Punk vs. Orton later tonight.

Santino Marella vs. Sheamus

Cole and Matthews on commentary now as this is what, the 7^th or 8^th week in a row that the same team doesn’t finish commentary?  Sheamus says this might be his last chance to embarrass Santino due to the draft.  The Champion sends Santino into the corner and takes over with ease.  Powerslam is reversed and that’s about it for this sequence by Santino.

Off to that crossface chickenwing on the mat but Marella fights back up.  An elbow drop leads to a similar version of the same hold.  Total dominance for the first few minutes until Santino dodges a charge in the corner.  He loads up the Cobra but falls down in the process.  Brogue Kick ends this clean at 3:28.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here and a way to get Sheamus on the show.  Santino is a rare breed of jobber where he can lose time after time but keep his credibility based solely on his comedy.  Not much of a match but at the same time it wasn’t supposed to be.  Kind of surprised that Santino got in literally no offense.

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Punk grabs a headlock to start and the fans chant in a dueling fashion.  Orton stomps Punk down in the corner which doesn’t last long at all.  Punk fires off some knees to the head and a running one puts the Viper down.  Orton comes back and gets his powerslam to set up the RKO.  Punk shoves him off and we take a break.

Back with Punk slamming Orton and dropping a knee.  Off to a front facelock and Orton can’t seem to reverse it.  We get a GTS/RKO chant as Punk keeps up his offense.  We go out to the floor for a bit as Punk wants to know if he can get a pin out there.  Back in and it’s off to a modified triangle choke.  Orton bites the fingers to escape.  Punk tries a bulldog which is reversed into a belly to back suplex as we’re back to about even.

The bulldog hits this time and it gets two.  Punk is all frustrated since getting bitten on the hand.  He fires off some kicks but walks into the Orton backbreaks and an Angle Slam for two.  Punk clotheslines him on the top rope as we get another dueling chant.  Springboard clothesline gets two.  Punk goes up, only to get caught by a superplex for a long two.  Punk rolls to the apron which is a bad idea against Orton.  Elevated DDT is reversed into a GTS attempt.  That is countered into an RKO attempt but Punk gets a kick to the head.  Another GTS attempt is countered into a rollup for the pin at 15:44.

Rating: B-. Not a terrible match here but it certainly wasn’t enough to save the show.  They were trying and gave us a pretty good match but it wasn’t as good as their Mania match.  This was the standard long match to end a TV show and send the fans home happy which is fine, but I’d like to see Punk get one win over Orton in this feud.  Not bad, but nothing classic.

Post match the New Nexus hits the ring for the big beatdown.  Batista’s Welsh son hits his Rock Bottom/Side Effect finisher to leave Orton laying.  McGillicutty and Otunga want to do something of their own but Ryan says Orton is his.  Ryan sets for a punt but Punk wants the honor.  After taking forever, Punk charges into an RKO to end the show.  Nice ending.

Overall Rating: D. This didn’t do it for me at all.  I know it’s a show over in London so things are a bit different, but at the same time a lot of this felt like it was completely lacking.  There wasn’t a main point to most of tonight other than I guess you could say Truth’s turn.  Cole’s segment didn’t really do anything other than make him look like a bad guy which we’ve known for a long time now.  Nothing of note here and I wasn’t impressed at all.

Results

John Morrison b. R-Truth – Starship Pain

Dolph Ziggler b. Evan Bourne – Zig Zag

Sin Cara/John Cena b. The Miz/Alex Riley – Springboard moonsault to Riley

Eve Torres b. Nikki Bella – Rollup

Randy Orton b. CM Punk – Rollup

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 11, 2011
Location: Webster Bank Arena at Harbor Yard, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews

Tonight we’ll likely begin the build to Extreme Rules.  We didn’t have much time last week as the focus was on Mania fallout and of course next year’s Wrestlemania main event being set up.  It should be interesting to see what Cena does to fill the next 50+ weeks.  No matches on the Raw side have been announced for the PPV so we should get something tonight.  Let’s get to it.

On Tough Enough there was a teaser that Edge says his career might be over.  That came out of left field.

Cole gets a special introduction as the only undefeated superstar in the WWE.  “What’s up Jerry?”

Here’s Cena to open the show properly.  He talks about how this is a great time to be in the WWE Universe because last week there was an announcement made that turned WWE upside down.  Cena talks about the announcement that was so big it takes a year to digest.  The match can’t just be a match though, so that match needs to be for the WWE Championship.  Therefore Cena needs to win the WWE Championship, so he issues a challenge for right now.

Instead he gets Randy Orton.  Orton says that Cena may want a title shot but he had his already and lost.  Orton says Cena should step aside and let someone that won their match at Wrestlemania get a shot.  Cena gets ready to reply but here’s John Morrison.  He says we’ve seen this show (referring to Cena vs. Orton) before but now it’s better because John Morrison is involved.

Before that though here come Vickie and Dolph.  Vickie says she should get the shot because she pinned Morrison.  But if not her then Dolph.  Ziggler says he isn’t here on Raw to waste his time on Cena.  He’s never faced Miz for the title so the line starts with him.  Don’t worry though because everyone will get title shots when he’s champion.

We’re not done yet because here’s R-Truth.  He says that the gospel truth is that he’s never had a WWE Championship match.  I think there’s a reason for that Truth.  An e-mail says that there’s a new cobncept match.  It’s a 5 man gauntlet match.  Tonight (presumably) there will be two starting and another enters at a preset interval.  You can’t get a win until all five are in and the winner meets Miz at Extreme Rules.  I think those are the rules at least.  It was a bit hard to keep track of.

Lawler vs. Swagger later.  If Lawler wins he gets a rematch with Cole.

There’s a video of a baby doll with its head taken off.  You can see the person holding it, clearly the soon to be debuting Awesome Kong.  She laughs crazily.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Brie Bella

Brie allegedly won a Divas battle royal to win this shot.  Wasn’t that weeks ago and she got the shot already?  Eve brings a marker to have an X put on Nikki’s hand so we know she’s on the floor.  That’s rather intelligent.  Brie takes her down to start but Eve makes her comeback with a dropkick and the standing moonsault for two.  Eve gets her in the Tree of Woe and when she’s being taken off there’s a switch.  While Nikki is being taken out Brie sneaks up on her and an X-Factor gives Brie the title at 2:20.  Weak match but all the girls looked good from a looks perspective at least.

Sin Cara debuts next.

Back with Eve being all upset about losing and Gail comes in to say she knows how it feels.  Eve says all the Divas are the same.  Natalya gets the same response.  Tamina walks up to get something and just keeps walking.  Ok then.

Sin Cara vs. Primo

The fans cheer for Sin Cara as Primo hammers away.  He tries to toss Cara into the air so Sin Cara lands on his shoulders and backflips off.  Out to the floor and a slingshot rana sends Primo flying.  Primo is thrown back in but gets a baseball slide to send Cara back out.  We hit a modified chinlock as Primo is getting way too much offense in here.

Cara chops away and gets another rana to get the crowd going a bit more.  Powerbomb is countered into a very fast and hard sunset flip.  Primo goes up but gets kicked in the head.  They stand on the top rope and Primo falls, sending Cara to the floor.  A C4 2000 (Downward Spiral with a backflip off the top) ends Primo at 4:30.

Rating: D+. I haven’t seen this big of a blown debut in a long time.  Primo controlled the majority of the match and whenever Cara got something going, Primo would hit something to slow him down.  You couple that with the botch at the end and this was a glorified train wreck.  At least the ending was good.

We get a clip from the end of Raw last week with Corre running in.  During the live chat on NXT last week Howard Finkel said that was very stupid of them to do.  When the Fink comes down on someone, that’s not a good sign.

Corre is in the ring and Barrett says he used to see them as equals, but if they can’t hold up their end of the bargain then there’s no point in continuing.  Gabriel takes offense to it and says the 450 has taken out more people and he’s a 3 time tag champion.  Slater says WE are three time tag champions.  Jackson says he made Corre legit.  He gets cut off by Santino’s music though.

Here are Santino, Henry, Bryan and Bourne.  Santino says if they’re the Corre then they’re the A.P.P.L.E.: Allied People Powered (by) Loathing Everything (you stand for).  This fight is for Kozlov so APPLE POWERS UNITE!  And yes Santino really said that.

Corre vs. Apple

This is joined in progress as we come back.  The Apple name is hilarious if nothing else.  Corre is in control hammering away on Daniel Bryan.  I wonder if he regrets leaving being the king of the indies yet.  Gabriel gets a hilo for two.  After a nice long beating it’s the hot tag to Santino who cleans house.  Cole makes apple jokes the whole time.  Everything breaks down and Bryan throws out a suicide dive to take out Barrett.  Cobra is loaded up and a reverse DDT ends Santino at 3:37.

Rating: D+. Nothing special at all here other than to show that Corre is mostly united at least.  Bryan sells very well so the match was about as good as it was going to get given what they had to work with.  Not a terrible match but all things considered it was just ok.  At least the right team won.

We talk about Lawler vs. Swagger and here’s JR to be in Lawler’s corner.  Cole makes fun of Ross so JR tries to break into the Cole Mine.  When that fails he hits Cole with his hat.  Jerry gets up to take out Swagger and we go to a break.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jack Swagger

If Lawler wins he gets a rematch with Cole at Extreme Rules and gets to pick the stipulations.  If Swagger wins then Cole never has to face Lawler again.  Cole and Ross are at ringside and are on microphones.  Swagger controls with basic stuff to start, namely hammering on Jerry.  Cole keeps talking trash as Jerry makes a brief comeback, including taking a brief victory lap around the ring.

Headlock by Swagger is reversed by a belly to back suplex.  Ankle lock goes on and Jerry does as Ross says by getting to the ropes.  Cole shouts MOMMY at Jerry during the hold.  Josh isn’t talking during the match.  Swagger grabs an armbar and cranks on it a bit.  Ross: “Your guy had you in an ankle lock and now has a wrist lock.  Show’s how stupid he is!”

Cole calls Swagger Jackie as he rams Jerry into the buckle.  Lawler Lawlers Up and hammers away.  Cole keeps running his mouth so JR finally blasts him.  The distraction allows Jerry to grab a rollup for the pin at 5:18.  Swagger’s face after it is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.

Rating: C-. A lot of that is for the commentary/talking alone.  JR’s line is one of the most obvious yet brilliant lines I’ve heard in a long time and shows the basic lack of psychology that is present in wrestling today.  Not a great match or anything but given who was in there, this was solid.  And no, I’m not saying this was better than the previous two matches.  They’re not on the same scale and shouldn’t be.

Cole rips into Swagger post match, blaming him for everything and saying he paid good money for his help.  It was all Swagger’s fault that he lost.  Then he slaps Swagger and runs.  Jerry grabs the mic and says we need to talk about Extreme Rules.  He picks the obvious tag match: JR/Lawler vs. Swagger/Cole.  Smart thinking actually.  Jerry reminds Swagger that Cole just slapped him in the face.  Cole panics as Swagger looks like he’s about to eat him.

We get a video package of wrestlers both past and present talking about how great Undertaker vs. HHH was.

Edge is talking to Cena and will be heading to the ring next.

Here’s Edge as JR, King and Matthews are doing commentary now.  Please, I beg of you, pick a team and stick with it.  This rotating lineup in the middle of the show is getting annoying.  Anyway Edge says he’s going to ramble a lot in this.  He says a lot of people thinks WWE doesn’t hurt and he wishes that wasn’t true.  8 years ago he had a neck injury and had spinal fusion surgery to correct it.

He knew he was wrestling on borrowed time but recently he’s been losing the feeling in his arms.  He’s taken some tests and managed to make it through Wrestlemania, but the tests tell him he has to retire.  The doctors have said he has no choice but thankfully they’ve found out now and he’s not going to be in a wheelchair.

Edge breaks down into tears as I’m thinking this isn’t a storyline at all.  The fans chant thank you Edge and he says thank you guys.  Edge talked to Christian who has been his best friend for 27 years.  Edge was mad at himself but he’s still a fan of the WWE.  He talks about going to Maple Leaf Gardens with Christian and seeing guys like Demolition, the LOD and Hogan.

Then he went to Wrestlemania 6 and saw Hulk Hogan vs. the Ultimate Warrior and said he’d be doing that.  Fast forward 18 years and it was him in there against the Undertaker.  Now he’s won more titles than anyone in WWE history and had his last match in a main event at Wrestlemania and gets to retire as World Heavyweight Champion.

Edge has been in this business for 19 years and he grew up in front of these people.  He runs through his career from running through the streets of New York to doing posing for the benefits of those with flash photography to a live sex celebration (“luckily with Lita and not Vickie Guerrero”) and he hopes that he’s earned the fans’ respect.

He’s going to miss this and tomorrow he doesn’t have to wear tights and now he gets to eat ice cream.  He says he’d do it again, even getting hired by JR.  He drops the mic and gets a standing ovation.  No Alberto, no interruptions, nothing else.  If this was a work, give this man an Emmy right now.  He does his pose on the stage and his music plays him out.  Heavy stuff man.

We’re back and everyone, faces and heels, is applauding Edge.  Even Vickie, Dolph, Corre, everyone.  Dustin Rhodes is there in a shirt and tie.  Still no Alberto or Christian.  No word on the title situation yet but I’d assume Christian will take his place in the ladder match for the vacant title.

Cue Miz to a nice pop actually.  He’s on commentary here.

John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. R-Truth vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison

Two will start and then it’s a standard gauntlet match, last man standing wins.  Ziggler locks on a chinlock after some back and forth stuff.  Lawler asks Miz who he’d prefer to face and Miz says he can’t hear him over his awesomeness.  Josh is reading something and not seeming to pay attention.

Orton fires off some offense and looks down at Miz.  Ziggler hides in the ropes to avoid the RKO.  He can’t avoid the elevated DDT though and Orton sets for the RKO.  The Nexus returns though and distracts Orton, allowing him to be pinned at 2:43.  Well I didn’t see that one coming.  Orton has to fights off the Nexus but Ryan takes him out.  Orton is left laying as we take a break.

Back with Truth vs. Ziggler.  Miz runs down Truth, wondering which version of him would come up.  Lawler asks who Miz would rather face and Miz says he’ll face either of them.  Chinlock goes on by Ziggler as Miz talks about not getting respect.  If Cena wanted icon vs. icon he should have challenged Miz.  Miz says he’s not a talker.  Lawler responds with a facepalm.

The in ring stuff is rather boring, mainly because everyone knows Truth doesn’t have a chance here of winning the whole thing.  Truth hammers away with right hands and gets a sitout gordbuster for two.  Ziggler comes back with a neckbreaker as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled by this.  Out of nowhere Truth gets a jumping downward spiral to put eliminate Ziggler after 4:00 (all times other than the final are of the two in the ring, not overall time).

Morrison is next and will face Truth after the break.  They exchange a bunch of pinfalls to start us off until Morrison hits a breakdancing legdrop and throws on a chinlock.  Miz keeps bashing everyone and is sounding like a less insulting version of Mystery Science Theater.  They hit the floor and a double clothesline puts both guys down.  Both guys slide back in at nine and we keep going.

Morrison gets all angry and takes down Truth with some running offense, including a leg lariat.  Truth reverses into a suplex/Stunner.  He picks Morrison up for a suplex but shifts him to the side and catches him in a Stunner.  Cool looking move.  Morrison gets up and hits his kick off the middle rope but misses Starship Pain.  The jumping Downward Spiral sends Truth to the final two at 4:51.

Cue Cena as it’s him vs. Truth for the shot at Miz.  I didn’t see this one coming.  We’re going to start this up after a break.  During the break we’re told Edge will surrender the title on Friday.  This looks more real every second.  Back and we’re ready to go.  Miz comments on the dueling chants and Cena hits a dropkick to the champ’s shock.  Cena hammers away and hits a new move: a combination powerslam/side slam for two.

Release fisherman’s suplex gets two and Cena goes up top.  Top rope Fameasser gets two and I have a feeling this isn’t going to be as easy as it seemed.  Truth makes the comeback and “hits” (read as it misses by about 8 inches) his spinning forearm for two.  The downward spiral (that needs a name) can’t hit and Cena initiates his ending sequence.  Cena sets for the FU but Miz and Riley run in and hit both guys at the same time for a double DQ I guess.  The last pairing ran 5:36 and overall counting commercials it ran 30:40.

Rating: C+. The grade is for the whole thing rather than any individual segment.  Hard to really grade this as there isn’t much of a precedent for it and the whole match was choppy.  Luckily this had a lot of time as the matches where people are eliminated in about a minute are rather annoying as they’re ridiculous any other time of the year.  Not bad, but hard to grade.  Ending was good though.

Miz says there’s no #1 contender and we get an E-Mail.  There are now 2 #1 contenders: Cena and R-Truth, and there will be a triple threat match at the PPV.  Odd choice but ok then.  Cena and Truth have a weird bromance moment for a bit as they slap each other on the back rather fiercely and Truth glares at Cena as he leaves.

Overall Rating: B. Well it can’t be said nothing happened here.  We have a new stable (and yes I know it’s a joke), a new #1 contender, a new champion and one of the biggest stars of all time retired.  The wrestling here clearly wasn’t the point and for a show with this much going on that’s more than understandable.

Results

Brie Bella b. Eve Torres – Sitout Facebuster

Sin Cara b. Primo – C4 2000

Corre b. Apple – Slater pinned Marella after a reverse DDT

Jerry Lawler b. Jack Swagger – Rollup
Randy Orton vs. John Cena vs. R-Truth vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison went to a double disqualification when Alex Riley and the Miz interfered

Smackdown
Date: April 1, 2011
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

This is the final show before the big one and from what I understand it’s mainly a highlight show which is fine.  There were some matches taped at Raw so at least we’ll get some original content.  Expect a lot of “we see so and so from Raw” on here tonight but that’s all well and good for a show like this.  Let’s get to it.

Theme some opens us up.  For once I have to watch this live as there was no pre-air.

Intercontinental Title: Wade Barrett vs. Kofi Kingston

Wade looks good with the title.  Kofi charges straight at him which gets him nowhere as Barrett kicks him to the floor and takes over.  Back in the ring a pumphandle slam gets two.  Barrett channels his inner Chris Hero and locks on a Cravate but rams Kofi’s head into Barrett’s knee as he does it for some added punishment.

Kofi comes back with kicks and strikes plus that great dropkick for two.  SOS doesn’t work.  There are water stains in the ring which must be from something I’ve forgotten about from Raw.  Top rope cross body gets two and here’s the Boom Drop.  Trouble in Paradise runs into a big boot as Booker rambles about Kofi wasting time.  Wasteland doesn’t work and there’s Trouble in Paradise out of nowhere, but there’s Corre for the DQ at 3:57.

Rating: C-. Match wasn’t anything of note at all for the most part and even while it was good we were all just waiting for Corre to come out for the ending.  Not much of a match and the Corre formula is getting very old very quickly.  They’re a terribly boring stable even with a lot of gold like they have.

The beatdown begins until Santino/Kozlov come out to get beaten down also.  Show and Kane come out for the real save.  Kofi has nothing to do at Mania at all does he?

We recap last week with Cody jumping Rey and trying to hurt him.

Striker is with Cody who is in the shadows with a towel over his head.  Cody says that he’s a very bitter man that doesn’t even want to look in the mirror anymore.  This is a rather serious promo and it comes off pretty well.  Cody says that on Sunday Rey has to contend with this, revealing his mask, and this, holding up the knee brace.  Good stuff, but then again I like Cody.

Back and we get clips from Axxess where we have Todd and the Bellas.  There are areas such as Hornswoggle’s house under the ring and Vince’s destroyed limo.  The Bellas brag a bit and it sounds like a CM Punk chant in the background.

We get a recap of Taker vs. HHH, as in the same one from Raw with the song.  Later tonight we’ll see the staredown from Raw.  The video really is good.

We recap Orton vs. Punk which had a great build and then it just fell apart.  The continuity was a nice touch but they kind of lost the flare with the Nexus guys getting destroyed over and over.  At least it’s one on one at the PPV.

There’s an exhibit at Axxess where you can emulate various wrestlers’ entrances.

We talk about Shawn getting into the Hall of Fame a bit and then get a video about the LOD from Raw.  Dang right they should be in the Hall of Fame.

We get the entire Swagger vs. Lawler match from Monday which I’ll throw in the recap from my Raw review in order to fill in some space here.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jack Swagger

Lawler has different music here.  Cole pops up on the apron and gets down just before Lawler hits him.  Swagger takes over and a Vader Bomb crushes him.  Out to the floor and Jerry is thrown into the time keeper’s area.  Lawler gets a right hand in and pops Swagger with a chair for the DQ at 1:20.  That’s really the only ending they could go with here.  Lawler goes after Cole but the security holds him back as Jerry tries to get in through the top of the box.  Cole throws his drink at him and Jerry backs off.

Back on Smackdown now, even though I’d assume this was taped before the segment we just recapped occurred, with Jerry Lawler coming out to address Cole.  Lawler talks about Cole making fun of his mother, his father and bringing his son out to insult Jerry.  Cole left before Lawler came out here.  Jerry says that if Cole was here, neither would make it to Wrestlemania.  Austin is going to cancel out Swagger on Sunday and it’s just the two of them.  On Sunday Lawler is going to do what every fan wants him to do: shut Cole’s mouth.

We get a video from the Mania press conference which had a lot of mainstream press.  Allegedly Cena was booed to the point of tears which is saying a lot.  Snooki looks like some kind of Xena Warrior Elf.

At Axxess you can see Austin’s ATV and Taker’s graveyard, which would be awesome if Axxess hadn’t already happened.  Just to tease us in the background you can see Santino/Kozlov about to face the Usos live at Axxess.  Clearly we can’t watch that though right?  Wow did I really just ask to see Santino/Kozlov vs. the Usos?  I must be bored.

We reair the Shawn/Taker/HHH thing from Monday.  I’ve commented on it twice already so I’ve got nothing here.  Eats up about 15 minutes.

Video of the Miz on Conan which really was funny.  Coco is officially the Ginja Ninja with the catchphrase of “Step into my dojo mofo.”  Miz is hilarious when he’s allowed to just be himself.

Sin Cara is coming.

There’s a booth at Axxess with the old WWF/E title and some autographed stuff.  Trish has her own fashion booth which just makes me want to see her in them rather than on mannequins.

Time to talk about Trish/Snooki.  Oh joy.  Since all of the segments have been short, we see all of them involving Snooki.

We recap Del Rio vs. Edge which is more or less running down the history of Alberto who somehow only debuted in the fall.

Cody Rhodes vs. Chris Masters

Here’s your last match before Wrestlemania people.  Cherish it.  Cody has a new dark version of Smoke and Mirrors which is pretty awesome sounding.  Cody goes straight at him which gets him nowhere.  Cole comes out during the match as Cody hits the Beautiful Disaster to take over.  Mad heat on Cole which I don’t think is legit.  Cody gets a crossface chickenwing (what is up with people using that recently?) and calls some spots.  Masters gets a Samoan Drop but can’t get the Master Lock.  Cross Rhodes ends this at 2:10.  Just a squash.

Rey runs out but can’t get 619.  Cody avoids it again with the second time seeing Rey expose the knee brace.  Here lies Cody Rhodes: the latest awesome character to be sacrificed to the King of Mystery.  You know it’s coming.

We talk about Jericho on Dancing with the Stars with Matthews saying Jericho won the Undisputed Title at Wrestlemania.  Are they altering THAT now too?

Cena’s cars are at Axxess and some of them are one of a kind.

Naturally the last part of the show is reairing Rock and Cena with Miz on the side from Raw.  I can’t get over the fact that the Attitude Adjustment actually happened.  I’m pulling for Miz on Sunday, just to hear his promo the next night.  Cena leaves Rock laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Now I know what you’re thinking: this was supposed to be a preview of Mania.  Well that’s true.  However, WWE has a roster of like 60 people.  A TON of them won’t be on Mania and yet we couldn’t see any of them here?  I have no desire to look at Axxess stuff for an hour and a half, see a 4 minute IC Title match and a squash.  Throw Tatsu out there or something.  I’m not saying make it Superstars, but you couldn’t find ten more minutes of wrestling without airing EVERYTHING from the past month?  I get the point of this, but I still don’t like it in the slightest really.

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 28, 2011
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews

This is the final show before Wrestlemania.  That being said there probably won’t be a lot of in ring action tonight as WWE is afraid of having any injuries before the biggest night of the year. The main story tonight though is that the Rock will be live in the arena tonight for the first time in almost a month.  The staredown with Rock and Cena should be awesome.  Let’s get to it.

We open with Punk sitting in the ring and being cheered loudly.  He says he’s going to miss the Mania sign when he gets to Atlanta.  Punk lives in reality while Orton lives in a fantasy world.  He doesn’t care what happens to the people or to New Nexus.  This causes a Randy chant as Punk gets the smark crowd against him with one sentence.  Not bad.  It’s not his fault that they got punted in the head.  Punk talks about how Orton built up a psychological advantage which meant nothing.

We get a clip of the bus attack last week which is still rather weak.  Punk claims that Orton cost him a title and now Punk has cost Orton his respect.  This chapter closes at Wrestlemania.  Cue Orton with a big bandage on his knee.  After a very slow walk he gets into the ring but gets beaten down by Punk.

And never mind as a single uppercut turns the tide and Orton gets the elevated DDT.  Orton sets for the Punt but the knee gives out.  There are dueling chants here as Punk gets back in the ring.  He gets a shot to the knee and Orton is in trouble.  GTS leaves Orton laying.

Christian stops to get Edge as apparently they’re up next.  Apparently the Raw GM has allowed Edge to fight Alberto tonight.

Edge/Christian vs. Brodus Clay/Alberto Del Rio

Edge vs. Brodus to start us off here and it’s off to Christian quickly.  Christian knocks Clay to the floor and dives on him, only to get caught.  Edge gets a baseball slide into the back of Christian to send Brodus down and we take a break.  Back with Del Rio working on the arm of Christian.  Off to Clay who gets two as Lawler and Cole argue about hair.  Del Rio gets a middle rope elbow for two.

Tornado DDT out of the corner puts Del Rio down and here comes both Edge and Clay.  Nice pop for the tag to Edge.  Cross body fails for Edge but he avoids a powerslam to get an Edge-O-Matic for two.  Del Rio breaks up the spear and Christian breaks up Del Rio.  Brodus misses a charge and the spear ends him at 5:42 shown of 8:12.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent tag match here with them having a nice way to get everyone in the ring at once.  Christian and Clay have been nice additions to this feud as we’ve been able to avoid the stupid staredowns and debates and various other things like that.  Not a bad match here and it keeps there from being any real contact between Edge and Del Rio before the PPV.

Both Edge and Christian get stuck in the cross armbreaker as Del Rip and Clay leave them laying.

Apparently Trish and Snooki are in a bar in Jersey.  This was taped last week and Snooki was three hours late based on various reports.  Not a good sign.

Sin Cara is coming.

Miz and Riley are setting up a WWE logo to be the M version from last week.  The title looks like that now as well.

There’s an E-Mail and Cole has a computer in his box.  He has an Ipad now.  The GM needs to know if Lawler is ready for Wrestlemania after what Cole did to him last week.  Swagger vs. Lawler tonight.

We get a video about HHH vs. Undertaker which is set to a song about outrunning the devil and numbers.  We also get highlight videos of both guys’ careers and their matches at Mania.  HHH says if he can’t end the Streak, he’ll die trying.

Back with the Corre in the ring.  Apparently Justin Gabriel is in action….so here are Show and Kane?  And Kozlov and Santino.  Santino is the opponent.  Ok then.

Santino Marella vs. Justin Gabriel

The long talked about 8 man tag of Santino/Kozlov/Big Show/Kane vs. Corre is announced.  Gabriel gets an incredibly fast kick for two and locks on a modified chicken wing.  Santino comes back and sets for the Cobra but Slater distracts him.  Kane takes him out and it’s a big brawl on the floor.  Here comes the Corba and we’re done at 1:49.  Just a quick match to set up the 8 man on Sunday.

Post match everyone does Santino’s trombone thing, even Kane.  There’s a meme waiting to happen.

Some R&B singer is singing America the Beautiful.  That means….no Justin Bieber?  This Mania just got AWESOME!

HHH and Taker have their showdown next.

Here comes the Deadman and that Johnny Cash theme is rapidly growing on me.  Here comes HHH and as he sets to do the water spit, the gong goes off and the lights go out.  They come back on…and everything is just as it was.  They stare each other down, and here’s Shawn Michaels!  He does belong in a WWE ring for Mania week.  Huge HBK chant starts up.

Shawn says there was no way he was going to miss this.  Taker and HHH have barely stopped staring each other down.  Taker is either looking at Shawn or his eyes are rolled back in his head.  It’s at Shawn.  You could only see the whites of his eyes and with him you never can tell.  Shawn talks about how great both of them are and how huge this is.

He keeps talking before turning to HHH and asking why in the world would you think you can do what I couldn’t.  HHH says Shawn got soft somewhere along the way and that Shawn realized he didn’t have to win to be Mr. Wrestlemania.  HHH says that he has to win and he will.  The Game turns to Taker and says that when he got here he saw one guy that held everything together.  He lists off a lot of injuries Taker has worked through and how HHH has looked up to Undertaker his entire career and molded himself after Undertaker.

The only person that HHH admires and respects in wrestling as much as the Undertaker is Shawn.  Years ago Shawn and HHH made a pact that if either of them could ever not do it anymore they would tell the other so.  If the other couldn’t accept it, they would force it on them.  HHH looks at Undertaker and says that it’s time for Undertaker to stop.  He’ll always respect Undertaker, but in six days the Streak is over.  HHH says he’s the one, as in 18-1.  Good line.  Taker hasn’t said a word yet.  The Streak rests in peace on Sunday.

Undertaker grabs the mic from HHH and says that if the time ever comes for someone to put him down, he wants it to be HHH.  But it’s not his time.  HHH is going to kill himself trying but the Streak will still be alive and so will Undertaker.  Wait, Undertaker is alive?  I thought he was a zombie.  Taker says that if HHH doesn’t want to take Taker’s word for it, ask Shawn.

Shawn walks around being the man that gave Undertaker the best Mania matches of his career and he came that close to beating it.  Shawn seems bothered by this.  Taker says he looks at Shawn and sees a man that he humbled.  Shawn is a man that is going into the Hall of Fame as a man full of regrets and as a man whose career Undertaker ended.

Shawn grabs the mic and tries a superkick but gets caught in an attempted chokeslam.  HHH breaks it up and they stare each other down again.  HHH tells Shawn to tell Taker why HHH will win at Mania.  Shawn doesn’t move and HHH turns to look at him.  Both guys look at Shawn as the people chant one more match.  Shawn leaves and HHH shouts at him but Shawn says something we can’t hear.  The camera shifts so we can see Shawn say I’m sorry and something that looked like “I can’t do it.”  Shawn leaves with that.

HHH and Undertaker look at each other, Taker laughs and tips his hat and Johnny Cash plays him out.  Long segment that I have a feeling is going to get a very mixed reception. Good stuff, but not good enough to make this match as epic as they were shooting for.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jack Swagger

Lawler has different music here.  Cole pops up on the apron and gets down just before Lawler hits him.  Swagger takes over and a Vader Bomb crushes him.  Out to the floor and Jerry is thrown into the time keeper’s area.  Lawler gets a right hand in and pops Swagger with a chair for the DQ at 1:20.  That’s really the only ending they could go with here.  Lawler goes after Cole but the security holds him back as Jerry tries to get in through the top of the box.  Cole throws his drink at him and Jerry backs off.

We recap the mixed tag from last week and here’s Vickie with sunglasses ala Morrison.  She does his pose with his music and pyro behind her.  We even get slow motion.  She says that she has a message for Snooki.  After the match Sunday, Snooki will be passed out and unconscious as always.  Vickie’s evil laugh is pretty awesome.

Dolph Ziggler/Sheamsu vs. Daniel Bryan/John Morrison

Nice pop for Morrison.  Sheamus vs. Morrison to start Flash Kick doesn’t work as Morrison jumps into the Irish Curse for two as we take a break.  Back with the same pairing as before the break as Sheamus locks on a bow and arrow hold.  Morrison fights out of it with a dropkick and it’s a double tag.

Bryan comes in and cleans house as he locks in the LeBell Lock to Ziggler.  Sheamus makes the save as Morrison kicks Ziggler in the head.  Apparently Sheamus is legal now.  I don’t remember a tag but ok then.  Morrison and Ziggler hit the floor and the LeBell Lock doesn’t work.  Sheamus hits the High Cross which Cole calls Pale Justice.  It’s a Razor’s Edge either way and it ends it at 2:44 shown of 6:14.

Rating: C-. Not really enough to grade but this is a quick way to get some build in for both matches.  Always been a fan of that as it’s a very good way to kill two birds with one stone.  I’d love to see these four get more time in the ring as it could be something rather good.  This wasn’t much from a wrestling standpoint but it wasn’t terrible I guess.

Orton is having his knee iced down and says that he’ll make it to Mania.  He has anger management issues and has hurt people he didn’t know just because he could.  He’s never despised anyone until now so the question isn’t can he make it to Mania but rather can Punk make it out of Mania.

Time for the Hall of Fame inductee of the night.  It’s the LEGION OF DOOM!!!!! It’s about freaking time!  We get a nice video package on them and apparently Paul Ellering is going in with them.  That makes the class LOD, Ellering, Shawn Michaels, Sunny, Bullet Bob Armstrong, Abdullah the Butcher and Jim Duggan.  I leave out Drew Carey for reasons of idiocy.

Snooki and Trish are at a bar and oh my goodness Snooki is drunk.  Some Jersey guy is annoying them constantly.  Snooki slaps him and he gets taken out.  This was rather pointless and lasted maybe a minute.

We cut to Matthews and then back to the bar as Laycool is there.  Big brawl breaks out and they get pulled apart, making this whole thing maybe 80 seconds.

Back and it’s time.  The Rock is here on the big screen and there’s the music.  HUGE Rocky chant goes up and it takes awhile to get to the talking.  This is a special city to Rock as his first Wrestlemania was here.  On that night, he was nervous but he brought it.  That night he founded Team Bring It which everyone is a part of.  On Team Bring It you don’t worry about what’s coming and you go after your dreams.

Recently Rock has had a dream of his own.  In this dream he came to the ring and called out John Cena.  Mad heat for the mere mention of Cena’s name.  The fans chant Cena sucks.  He doesn’t have a chance tonight.  Rock says Cena looks like a homeless Power Ranger.  Rock talks about Cena and how tonight, Rock is here with the MILLIONS.

Cue Cena who is looking rather chipper.  Hokey smoke this is epic.  Not total booing for Cena when he first comes out but when he starts talking it changes a bit.  Cena says this is what he finally wanted: Rock back in a WWE ring.  This is where Rock belongs according to Cena.  The fans chant for Rocky.  When Cena started talking about him years ago he was one of the millions.  He didn’t understand why Rock left because Cena wanted Rock back for moments like these when Rock has the people in the palm of his hands.  If Rock doesn’t believe Cena, Rock should listen to them.

If Rock still doesn’t believe him, Rock should feel the electricity.  When Rock came back he was smoking and it was an honor to have Rock make fun of him.  Cena takes a jab at the via satellite moments and Cena wanted to know…..something we have to wait on as the fans chant Cena Sucks a bit more.  Cena wants to know what problem Rock had with him.  That’s a good question actually.  Cena says that he looked past all the jokes and catchphrases and found a lot of problems Rock had with him.

Who in the world is Rock to tell Cena how to dress or what to listen to or who his audience should be?  If that is what it takes to be on Team Bring It then Cena wants nothing to do with it.  Cena knows there are people that hate him and he’s not going to change for them or for anyone.  He’ll be judged at the end of the day but it won’t be by Rock.

There were things like the colors and the way he talks.  Also the music and the hustle, loyalty and respect.  The one that surprises Cena though is that Rock’s audience is kids.  That’s right and Cena is proud of what he is and who he’s become.  Rock hasn’t taken his eyes off Cena the whole time.  Cena morphs into Super Cena, saying that if Rock has a problem with Cena working as hard as he has, there’s something to talk about.

Rock says the good Lord will be the one to judge them and gets in Cena’s face.  Even the good Lord can’t save Cena from Rock whipping him all over Chicago.  Cena says if you want to fight there’s nothing stopping you and throws the mic down.  Here’s Miz and he has a LOT to live up to.  Miz says that he’s tired of being overshaddowed by the O Brothers: Overrated and Overhyped.  Cena will lose at Wrestlemania, but he’ll go down fighting, unlike The Rock.

Miz says he knows a secret.  Rocky isn’t going to do a thing tonight because Rock isn’t going to risk losing a movie career to get beaten up and embarrassed by Miz.  That’s not a risk, but rather a guaran-darn-tee that if Rock even looks at Miz Rock will never be able to set foot in Hollywood after the beating Miz gives him.  Rock can talk all he wants and it won’t matter.  Rock says it doesn’t matter what Miz thinks.

Riley jumps Rock and the beating is on.  Riley is knocked to the floor as Cena is gone.  Rock takes down Miz with a DDT and botches the nip up.  Oh Cena is on the floor.  People’s Elbow to Miz who is thrown to the floor.  Rock turns around and it’s an Attitude Adjustment to Rock as the booing is insane.  Rock can’t see Cena as he leaves.  Cena points to the Mania sign and we’re off the air.

Overall Rating: C+. Well the wrestling was very light this week but at the same time that was expected.  Obviously they can’t risk an injury to Miz or Cena in a pointless match…yet the other world title match participants had a match.  It’s almost as if that match means nothing in the grand scheme of things.  Anyway this was a solid build up show with I think every match getting at least some camera time.  That’s a good sign and much better than the previous few go home shows for Wrestlemania.  I liked this for the most part but some stuff could have been changed.  Good overall though.

Results

Edge/Christian b. Alberto Del Rio/Brodus Clay – Spear to Clay

Santino Marella b. Justin Gabriel – Cobra

Jack Swagger b. Jerry Lawler via DQ when Lawler used a chair

Sheamus/Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan/John Morrison – High Cross to Bryan

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 21, 2011
Location: CONSOL Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Jerry Lawler

With less than two weeks to go before Wrestlemania it’s pretty clear that the card is set.  That being said, it now means that the TV is probably going to get dull as all we have is padding for the upcoming PPV.  I’m not looking for a lot on the next two weeks and next week in particular.  Nothing that I can think of is announced for tonight, so let’s get to it.

We open with Good Old…..Michael Cole in a fat suit with his ankle taped and a bottle of barbecue sauce.  It took the crowd a bit to get the idea but they finally boo the heck out of him.  Cole has cotton in his mouth to simulate Ross’ voice issues.  Funny stuff.

HHH opens us up properly.  His entrances might take longer than Undertaker’s if that’s possible.  HHH talks about how this is the biggest match of his career and how people are finally talking about the match with the signs like 19-0 and 18-1.  He actually says the Streak is bigger than any championship.  I’m kind of surprised to hear that.  HHH wants Undertaker to be here next week for a staredown.  He talks about Taker’s song and that once the Streak is over, Taker is done and that at Mania Undertaker will rest in peace.  Weak promo indeed.

HHH starts to leave but here’s…..Ted DiBiase?  As in Junior.  What the heck does he think he’s doing here?  He talks about how last year he was a rising star and now he’s just another guy.  What would happen if he took out HHH right now on live TV?  Well at least he knows he means nothing.  DiBiase gets in a few shots but winds up getting beaten down to the shock of no one.  HHH beats on DiBiase with a chair and I guess this is to show how ruthless he is.  Pedigree through the announce table and DiBiase is dead.

Cena will be here via satellite tonight.  Oh there are a ton of jokes there.

Miz will be rewriting “Miz-Tory” tonight.  Ok then.

Evan Bourne vs. Sheamus

This is non-title I think and is happening due to Bourne getting that quick win a few weeks back.  Total Sheamus dominance to start us off here but Bourne gets a kick to put Sheamus down.  Since almost the only move he has is the Shooting Star he tries that and misses.  Brogue Kick ends this in 1:24.

Sheamus says he’s the new US Champion and is awesome.  Bryan comes out and wants his rematch at Mania.  Sheamus kicks him in the head and leaves him laying.  Gee remember a few weeks ago when so many people said Sheamus got buried and I said you were wrong and it wasn’t a burial?  Care to say that you all ran your mouths now and have no idea what you’re talking about?  Go ahead.  Anytime now.

It’s Wrestlemania Rewind tonight with Orton vs. Mysterio vs. the invisible and unnamed Kurt Angle apparently.

Back with Orton getting off a bus and having some interviewer asking him how he’s doing.  Orton talks about being on the bus and liking having his family with him and that he loves watching the video of him punting Nexus over and over again.  All we really get out of this is that he has a bus.  And I’m sure Punk isn’t going to do anything to that bus later.  Not a thing.

Maryse vs. Eve Torres

Non title again as I guess Maryse is heel on Raw and face on NXT.  She gets slapped down as this is about as riveting as you would expect it to be.  After nothing of note is going on, Cole AGAIN interrupts them on the mic and says he has something else to announce tonight that is special and we need to get this match over with.  Standing moonsault to Maryse gets knees but she hits a spinning neckbreaker to end it at 2:20.  Eve goes after Cole and his security takes her out.

Back with Corre in the ring as the tag champions are on Raw for once.  We get a clip from Smackdown of Corre beating the tar out of Kane and Big Show which was nowhere near as epic as they were trying to make it out to be.

Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater vs. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov

It’s not a good sign that I had the non-champions names written in before their music hit because they’re the Raw face tag team.  Gabriel vs. Santino to start and Santino wants the Cobra.  He gets his head kicked off instead and it’s off to Slater for the chinlock.  Off to Kozlov as Barrett gets involved.  Slater gets a reverse DDT and the 450 ends this at 1:47.  Total squash.

Show and Kane come down for the save post match.  They clean house and leave Corre laying, including Jackson after a double chokeslam.  I’m guessing this will be at Mania somehow as all four faces stand mostly tall.

Cena’s interview is up next.

Back and we recap Miz destroying Cena to end last week and the last few weeks’ worth of shows.

Cena says that he’s injured and it’s because of Miz. Miz is impressive and deserves to be champion. This is serious Cena here and it’s rather short with one major thing being said: Rock and Cena in the same ring next week. They had to do it sooner or later, but I would have waited until Wrestlemania. Give the fans something very important to see.

Cole’s announcement is up next.

Back with Cole and Swagger running around the ring.  Swagger goes out in front of the announce table (which has been repaired after HHH broke it) and Cole talks about last week with Brian being here, which we get a clip of.  Apparently Brian Christopher sent Cole a gift: the Lawler Family Photo Album.

We get some pictures of Lawler’s father with Cole saying what Lawler’s father is thinking.  Naturally they’re all insults.  Cole says he went to Memphis this week and found out that Lawler and Lawler’s father are very similar: they’re both bullies that back down when someone puts them in their place, like Cole is going to do at Mania.  Lawler has Swagger two feet in front of him which is why he hasn’t charged the ring yet.

Cole calls the Lawler family a bunch of losers and Lawler snaps.  He beats up Swagger a bit and goes after Cole but Swagger gets up and beats him down.  Cole hides in the box and Swagger shoves Lawler’s face into the box while Swagger keeps insulting him.  Ankle lock goes on as does the AnCole Lock (and no I’m not making that name up) which Lawler taps to.  Mad heat on Cole and Swagger as we go to a break.  The build for this has been awesome to say the least.

Mania hype video which is pretty good.  Hard to believe it’s only 13 days away.

Cole apologizes for no apparent reason at all.

That transitions us to talking about…..Snooki.  DAng it.  It’s a recap plus all the media talking about this match and trying to use wrestling lingo while sounding like imbeciles.

Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison

Laycool and Vickie are with Dolph and Trish is with Morrison.  Ziggler takes him down to start but Morrison goes all angry.  That gets him caught in a neckbreaker for two to take him down.  Morrison gets going and hits a dropkick.  Michelle stops him from diving over the top and Trish fights off Laycool.  Trish winds up in the ring and it’s E-Mail time.  It’s now a 4-2 handicap match with Laycool/Vickie/Ziggler vs. Trish/Morrison which starts after the break.

Dolph Ziggler/Laycool/Vickie Guerrero vs. Trish Stratus/John Morrison

Back with the guys going at it.  Off to Trish and Layla who both look great.  Michelle kicks Trish in the back to shift the momentum and bring in the tall blonde.  I think she got tagged twice but whatever.  Knee to Trish’s head as Trish’s pants seem to be falling a bit.  Back off to Layla as Trish plays Ricky Morton for awhile.  Off to Vickie who misses a drop and it’s off to the men again.  The girls fight elsewhere while Morrison misses Starship Pain.  He gets sent into the post and Ziggler adds a Zig Zag.  Vickie gets the pin at 4:00 shown.

Rating: C. With the girls looking that good out there it’s really hard to say this wasn’t good.  They’re trying to build up Snooki as the X factor here which is what she probably should do at the end of the day.  Nothing too bad here but nothing great, so average sounds like a good grade for it.  The ending was fine and no, Morrison isn’t being buried.

Sin Cara video.  I was a bit underwhelmed the first time I saw this but the more I see it the more I want to see him.

Various stars and legends talk about HHH vs. Undertaker.  The weakest name in there is probably Morrison so they’re having a lot of big names in there.  Guys like Race, Ross, Lawler, Cena, Arn Anderson and Austin talk about it.  Shawn says nothing lasts forever.  Arn says it’s like winning 18 Super Bowls in a row.  Not really but we’ll go with that.

Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton

Mysterio’s entrance is after the break.  Back and we see the Orton bus clip from earlier but the audio is messed up.  Rey is in the black and yellow for the Steelers color scheme.  He takes Orton down to his knees but the equally tall from there Orton gets a European uppercut to take Rey down.  Orton does an evil look and throws Rey to the floor.

Back in and Orton’s knee drop gets two.  Rey fights back and gets the seated senton for two.  Orton might have had a chance to block it if he hadn’t been falling down before the move hit.  Orton tries the elevated DDT but Rey counters with something like a slingshot through Orton’s legs which is one of the only counters that I’ve ever seen that was somewhat realistic.  Orton blocks the 619 and hits the DDT.

Orton preps for the RKO but Punk pops up on the screen.  He’s in front of the tour bus from earlier and says he can’t wait to meet Orton’s wife.  Orton sprints to the back (we’ll say the match ended there, meaning it ended at 3:45) and gets jumped by Punk who hits Randy in the knee with a wrench.  Punk says Orton won’t be punting anyone at Mania.  “Now ain’t that a kick in the head.”

HHH and Undertaker will be face to face next week.

Rock will be live next week.

Alex Riley is in the ring which has a red carpet now.  Apparently he’s been rehired (presumably by Miz) as Vice President of Corporate Communications.  He introduces Miz who apparently was the best man at Riley’s wedding.  Miz talks about how people used to come from miles around to see Muhammad Ali and Michael Jordan perform and now people come to see Miz.

It’s his time now and while there have been Rock imitators over the years, his impression was the best.  He has more charisma than Shawn Michaels, is more dominant than Andre the Giant and is more intelligent than Rock and Cena combined.  He says that tonight he rewrites “Miztory” and he takes the mic cube off.  He holds it up and turns it upside down, making an M.

Behind him is a table with a sheet over it.  He and Riley pull it off to reveal the WWE Title with the W flipped upside down to make an M.  That’s the new title design apparently.  He hits the catchphrase and Cena pops up on the screen.  He points out that that’s kind of lame, which it is.  Cena says that the WWE Universe knows he’s not invincible and that they also know you shouldn’t make him mad.

Cena has a surprise for them.  Some people in Pittsburgh Penguins shirts pop up and take apart his walls, revealing that he’s really in the arena.  He didn’t lie when he said he was at home, because his home is here with the fans, just like he’s been for 9 years.  Points for being creative there at least.  Miz and Riley beat him down for awhile but Cena fights back.  Miz runs and Riley gets caught in the STF a few times.  Miz comes back but doesn’t come to the ring.  Cena’s music plays us out.

Overall Rating: D+. Yes this was a show based on building for the PPV but it was still pretty boring.  There was an extreme lack of wrestling which is understandable but it doesn’t make it any more interesting.  Not a horrible show but not a good one to say the least.  Rock is going to help next week but I can’t imagine it being anything great.

Results

Sheamus b. Evan Bourne – Brogue Kick

Eve Torres b. Maryse – Spinning Neckbreaker

Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater b. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov – 450 to Kozlov

John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler went to a no contest when Laycool and Trish Stratus interfered

Dolph Ziggler/Vickie Guerrero/Laycool b. John Morrison/Trish Stratus – Guerrero pinned Morrison after a Zig Zag from Ziggler

Randy Orton vs. Rey Mysterio went to a no contest when Orton left the ring

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 14, 2011
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews
Guest Star: Snooki

After last week’s pretty good show, we’re here with the first of the final three Raws before Mania.  With 20 days to go, things started to looks up last week as Miz got serious and Cena apparently is done talking to Rock.  Also tonight it’s Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus in a title vs. job match which should be fun.  Let’s get to it.

Oh and Snooki is here tonight too.  Dang it all.

We open with a picture of the Rock and hear him talking to the president.  He makes fun of Cena’s promo last week, saying it wasn’t funny and that Cena talks like a child.  Cena’s music hits and Rock says he’ll have to call the President back.  Rock talks to someone off camera, saying that Cena is a man for coming to see him.

And it’s a kid.  The kid is in a Cena shirt and raps a bit but Rock says that Cena has to talk like an adult.  Rock sits down and makes fun of “Cena”, saying that while Cena has run with the ball since Rock is gone, he hasn’t run that far.  At the end of the day, it comes down to the fact that Cena simply isn’t that talented.

Rock says it doesn’t matter how that makes him feel and Cena starts crying.  Rock says that the fans should be crying after seeing Cena’s movies.  The Rock gives him a gift: a box of Fruity Pebbles.  This is absolutely hilarious by the way.  After sending the kid away, Rock turns to the camera and turns his attention to the Miz.

They haven’t been introduced and Miz claims to be the most must see WWE Champion in history.  Well he’s the Rock, the most electrifying man in all of entertainment.  There’s this ominous music playing in the background at the same time.  Miz hit the People’s Elbow and insulted his family.  That statement means that Miz wants the biggest whipping of all time.  Rock says the time for talking is done and before Mania he will be on Raw.  Cena needs to shut his mouth.  The smack will be laid down, if you smell what he’s cooking.

Trish is in the back with Snooki.  Someone get me my gun that I don’t own.

All three commentators are here and Cole is in his own glass/plastic box.  That’s hilarious.  Oh and it’s called the Cole Mine.  Great stuff.  There’s no top on it.

Here’s Miz and we get a clip of three weeks ago when Miz and Cena won the tag titles.  Also we see the end of the cage match and of last week’s show.  In present time Miz says that Rock’s shirt says I Bring It.  That’s true as he brings bad movies, weak catchphrases and long diatribes of a has been.  Miz runs down Rock’s family because he’s WWE Champion, making him better than them.

Rock likes to make six year olds cry.  Miz says Rock should step into this ring as Miz will make Rock cry.  Rock doesn’t own Cena, the Miz does.  Miz says that he hopes Rock brings it here to St. Louis, but if Rock does he’ll be overshadowed by Miz.  The catchphrase seems to end the commercial but we have an e-mail.

Cole has to leave the box to get to the podium and Lawler blocks his way.  Apparently Jerry is going to read them tonight.  There are two first time ever matches tonight: one for Cena and one for Miz.  Cena faces Alberto Del Rio and Miz faces the Great Khali.  I would have bet on HHH but I guess they’re saving that for Mania.  Miz vs. Khali is next.

The Miz vs. Great Khali

Naturally Khali dominates to start.  Cole is already getting on my verves by ignoring Lawler every time he talks.  Khali gets the big overhead chop and locks in the vice less than a minute in.  Miz’s face being all crushed is hilarious.  Miz gets the rope and Riley runs in for the DQ (wasn’t he fired?) at 1:14.  Miz destroys Khali with a chair Austin style post match.  DDT on the chair ends it.  Miz actually BROKE the chair, as in one of the legs is hanging off.  There’s a gash in Khali’s back too which I can’t imagine is fake.

Cole is going to expose Lawler tonight with a special guest.

Orton vs. Ryan later.

We see the HHH video from Smackdown which is designed to make HHH look like a tough guy.  That isn’t that hard to do.

John Morrison is talking to Snooki.  Dang it he had potential.  She offers him a spot of Jersey Shore.  Vickie and Dolph come up and make fun of Snooki.  Apparently Vickie was offered the cover of Playboy.  Snooki makes a fat joke and blocks a slap to hit Vickie and we take a break.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

There’s a graphic with an American flag and fireworks for the US Title.  Cool.  If Sheamus loses he quits.  Gail Kim is with Bryan here.  Sheamus looked angry about the idea of the stipulation even though it was his idea I believe.  Sheamus takes over early as we talk about the possibility of the curse of being King of the Ring.  Bryan moonsaults over Sheamus and tries the LeBell Lock but Sheamus escapes.

Suicide Dive to the floor takes down Sheamus and a missile dropkick takes down the Irishman for two.  Sheamus hits the floor again and looks lost as we take a break.  Back with Sheamus in control of Bryan, mainly focusing on his back.  Bryan grabs a small package for two and sends Sheamus to the floor.  Sheamus may have hurt his ankle again just like last week.

He makes it back in this week but the Brogue Kick misses and Bryan grabs the LeBell Lock.  Sheamus grabs the ropes and tries the High Cross.  Bryan rolls through it for two and they slug it out with Bryan taking him down.  BIG kick to the head gets a long two.  Bryan goes up but jumps into the Brogue Kick which ends Bryan’s title reign at 9:00.  Sweet ending.

Rating: B. This was a good TV match with both guys coming off looking good.  Sheamus is arguably a bigger star than Bryan so it’s not like this is a major upset.  The kick looked great too so it’s not like some weak move ended it.  Good TV match too and it got some good time with some hard hitting shots.  Good stuff.

Cole says he’s going to commit Regicide (killing of a king) tonight and his guest is up next.

After a recap of last week’s segment with JBL, Cole and Austin.  Cole is in the ring and says that Jerry gets defensive about his family.  Tonight Cole isn’t going to talk about Lawler’s family because Lawler’s family is going to talk about Lawler.  Cue Brian freaking Christopher, looking like a slim Dusty Rhodes with a beard with a distance.  Christopher cuts a total heel promo, saying how Lawler never wanted a family or a son and when Christopher made it to WWE, Lawler didn’t acknowledge that Christopher was his son.

Lawler grabs the mic and says that he’s glad Christopher never went by Brian Lawler, because he’s a bigger screw up than Charlie Sheen, proven by him associating with Michael Cole.  Brian asks his dad how it feels that his son was at Wrestlemania before Lawler did as one of the biggest stars in the company as part of Too Cool (just go with it).  Christopher gets in his face and Lawler just sits there and takes it.  Cole says this proves that Lawler is a loser.

CUE JR of all people who says that Cole has gone too far with everything and that Cole needs to come to his senses.  Cole says that Ross needs to just go away and that he’s the voice of the WWE and not Jim Ross.  Ross has wanted to talk to him about that, because the voice of the WWE is that of the fans, not one person.  Lawler has been carrying Cole like a baby kangaroo in his mother’s pouch.  Ross says Cole isn’t cuddly like a kangaroo though.  He’s a rat bastard.

Cole talks about how this is what he always expected: Ross leaving Cole in his Cole’s ring like a coward.  JR takes the jacket and tie off and is ready to fight.  As he gets ready, Swagger jumps Lawler and then hits the ring to beat up Ross and put on the ankle lock.  Lawler gets up and hammers Swagger but Cole jumps on Lawler and puts the ankle lock on Lawler who taps.  Cole puts the hold on Ross and the evildoers stand tall.  Good stuff here indeed.

Edge and Christian get a tag title shot on Friday.  Cool.

Randy Orton vs. Mason Ryan

Huge hometown boy pop for Orton of course.  Orton has punted everyone so far and this is the final one left for Orton to beat.  Punk is on the ramp of course and if Ryan wins he can be in the corner of Punk at Mania.  Ryan uses basic power to take over and hits the sitout Rock Bottom for two.  The referee seemed like he had to stop early there so maybe Orton missed his cue.  Ryan picks him up and another attempt is countered into the RKO to end it at 2:58.  This was nothing for the most part but at least the dismantling of the Nexus is over now.

Orton goes up for Punk on the ramp but turns around and sprints back into the ring to punt Ryan as well.  Punk tries to get in from behind but Orton turns and they lock eyes with both almost on their stomachs.  Punk slithers out.  Ryan is taken out on a stretcher.

We recap Snooki and Vickie from earlier and that slap.

Drew Carey is going into the Hall of Fame.  What do you even say to that?

Cole talks some more about how awesome he is.

Snooki and Trish are up next.  Snooki gets hit on by Zach Ryder and it’s totally pointless.

Snooki comes out and says nothing at all of note.  Way to earn that paycheck!

Vickie Guerero vs. Trish Stratus

This is No DQ all of a sudden.  Before the match Vickie yells at Snooki and claims that she was supposed to be on the cover of Rolling Stone instead of Snooki.  Trish works as a brunette too.  Vickie warms up before we get going here so Trish rolls her up for two.  Vickie runs to the floor and loses her shoe.  She gets it back and uses it like a sword.  Then she throws the shoe at Trish and tries to use it like a baseball bat.

Vickie gets spanked by the shoe until Dolph comes in for the save.  Cue Morrison for the second save and a big corkscrew plancha to take down Ziggler.  Laycool comes in and Michelle gets the boot to the face of Trish.  Vickie gets the pin at 2:30.  Just a comedy match here, and yet still longer and better than Hardy vs. Sting.  You knew I’d have to get a shot in at that somewhere.

Laycool gets in Snooki’s face post match and the fight is on.  Trish makes the save.  Snooki raises her arms and the tips of her fingers are equal to the top of Trish’s head.  Vickie makes a challenge for a 6 person/Diva/creature tag at Mania.  Snooki will do it.  Oh sweet goodness I need a blunt object to bash my skull in with.

Sin Cara is still coming.  That looks awesome.

Shawn talks about Undertaker.  I should point out that it’s 10:58 and we have a main event to go still.  Shawn praises Taker as he did HHH last week and nothing of note is said.  There’s an aura to the Streak apparently.

Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena

Del Rio grabs a headlock to start and Cena speeds things up.  Cole says Rock is here tonight in St. Louis.  Del Rio hits the floor and we take a break at 11:05.  Ok then.  Back with Del Rio getting two off an unseen move.  Double knockdown and they slug it out after getting up.  Here come the shoulders and Del Rio is in trouble.  Five Knuckle Shuffle but Brodus runs in for the DQ at 7:25.  Not enough shown to rate again which is rather annoying but that’s life.

Anyway the point here is that Rock’s music plays and HE’S…..someone in a bald wig.  That would be Miz I believe.  Cena beats up Brodus but the numbers catch up to him.  That’s the best bald wig I’ve ever seen.  Cena is sent to the floor and Miz beats on him even more.  A few mic shots to the head put Cena down.  Del Rio and Clay are gone.

Miz suplexes him onto the ramp to mess with his back.  Cena fires back but can’t get the FU.  Miz DDTs him on the stage and Cena is out.  Cena gets rammed into the big WWE sign on the stage as this is going a bit long.  Skull Crushing Finale into the same sign and Cena is out cold to end the show.  Miz’s face is awesome.

Overall Rating: A-. This was one of the best shows I’ve ever seen….for about an hour and ten minutes.  Starting with Orton, the rest of this show just fell apart.  Now that being said, it was still very good overall.  Cena/Miz/Rock is awesome at this point and the Cole vs. Lawler thing is going to be epic when it finally goes off.  This was a very good show and they got things going for Mania even more.  That being said, I loathe “celebrities” like the Jersey Shore people so that was a big black mark for me.  Other than that, good stuff and even more good building for Mania.

Results

Great Khali b. The Miz via DQ when Alex Riley interfered

Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan – Brogue Kick

Randy Orton b. Mason Ryan – RKO

Vickie Guerrero b. Trish Stratus – Guerrero pinned Stratus after a big boot from Michelle McCool

John Cena b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Brodus Clay interfered

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 28, 2011
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

We have five Raws to go before Wrestlemania and the card is starting to have a lot more shape to it.  With the highest rating the show has had in over a year and a half from last week and a record high rating for Smackdown on Syfy this past week, things are looking good on paper at the moment.  Tonight we’ll likely see more of Cena vs. Rock to build up to some showdown in Atlanta or possibly even next year in Miami.  Let’s get to it.

HHH opens the show and it’s confirmed that he has Taker at Wrestlemania as he’s on his way to the ring.  Josh sounds a bit off tonight, like his voice isn’t working properly.  The graphic shown for their match lists Undertaker as The Last Outlaw.  Sounds like a weak cowboy heel gimmick in the 80s.  HHH chant starts up before he talks.  Josh hasn’t talked in awhile while Lawler has so maybe he’s sick or something.

HHH says the real test is the test of time and there is nothing he hasn’t done in WWE.  He’s defined the Elimination Chamber, he’s defined Hell in a Cell, he’s a 13 time world champion, he started DX and Evolution.  He’s been hated and loved, he’s defeated icons legends and immortals and has been here 16 years.  HHH says he’s outlasted everyone except for one person.

He says Undertaker is now known as the Last Outlaw, but that’s not true.  The two of them are more alike than Undertaker realizes.  There are no more challenges for either of them but Taker has the Streak which is all that keeps him going.  HHH claims to be the only true challenge Undertaker has left.  I guess we’re ignoring HHH being victim #9 in the Streak.  HHH’s only remaining challenge is ending the Streak, which will happen at Wrestlemania 27.  When the Streak dies, Undertaker dies with it and if he can’t end the Streak then he’ll die trying.  Good and emotional promo here from the Game.

As he’s about to leave, here’s Sheamus.  Sheamus steps into the ring and gets a stiff low blow.  No Pedigree but rather Sheamus is thrown to the floor where his beating continues.  He throws Sheamus into the time keeper’s area and launches the chair out of there too.  Pedigree onto the announce table kills Sheamus dead.  That table collapsed very well too as it looked like it exploded.  And before everyone says it, no that wasn’t a burial.

Shawn Michaels is going to give his opinion on the HHH vs. Undertaker match later.

Cole is going to answer King’s challenge tonight.

Rock (via satellite) will answer Cena as well.

Back and Sheamus is just now being helped out of the arena.  There’s an E-Mail which Lawler answers.  He starts saying the May I Have Your Attention Please but stops and says nah.  The E-Mail says that Sheamus was supposed to have a match and will still have that match, against this man who is returning to Raw.

Sheamus vs. Evan Bourne

Bourne fires away with kicks and hits (read as he missed by three inches) with a spin kick.  That sets up the Shooting Star Press to end this in 37 seconds.

Rating: B-. The first 12 seconds were pretty good, the next 8 dragged it down but the final seventeen more than made up for it.  Solid TV match.

With Bourne still in the ring, Justin Roberts introduces Michael Cole. He says he’ll tell us what his plans are for Wrestlemania in just a few moments and we take a break.

Undertaker will be on Smackdown.  There will also be a contract signing for Edge vs. Del Rio.

After a quick video of Cole insulting Jerry and his mother last week, Cole calls Lawler into the ring.  Apparently only Lawler can get fired for striking Cole and not the other way around.  Cole stumbles over his words here.  Cole claims to have the most guts in the company and that he never backs down from a fight.  His answer to the challenge is no.  Cole’s face is so smug here that it’s great.

Cole says he’ll accept under two conditions.  First off his trainer has to be in his corner at Wrestlemania and he gets to pick a special guest referee for the match.  Lawler says he doesn’t care if Cole has the Dark Knight, King Kong, Saba Simba and Superman with him, it’s on.  Cole is WAY too happy about this, even dancing a little over it.

He introduces his trainer: Jack Swagger.  Odd choice but it gives Swagger something to do I guess.  Lawler stares up at Swagger and Cole slaps him.  Jerry goes after Cole but gets caught in an ankle lock while Cole laughs at him.  The referee isn’t announced here.

Austin will be here next week.

Cole wipes off Lawler’s headset to take over on commentary.

Cue Orton to a ROAR.  Great pop for him there.  This is a match but Orton has something to say to Punk first he.  Last week CM was right about something.  Two and a half years ago when Orton punted him it was the biggest mistake of Orton’s career.  He should have kicked harder.  Faith can’t protect Punk from punting him again.  Orton talks about putting Punk in a rehabilitation home and the only thing Punk will have left is the faith that failed him.

Cue New Nexus led by Punk who has the microphone.  Could we get to a match anytime soon?  Punk says he’ll take care of Orton and here they come.  An E-Mail stops them, which says that Orton will face Punk at Mania.  Until then Orton gets singles matches against members of the New Nexus.  If they beat Orton, that member can be in Punk’s corner at the PPV but if they lose, that member is barred.  If any member interferes, the team is disbanded.

Randy Orton vs. Michael McGillicutty

Orton takes over quickly as you would expect.  The knee drop misses and here comes McGillicutty.  A clothesline by Orton sends him to the floor and we take a break.  Back with McGillicutty hitting a dropkick for two.  He adds the Mr. Perfect neck snap from the middle rope in a cool looking move.  There’s the chinlock from McGillicutty on the master of the chinlock.  Orton fights back and gets the powerslam and backbreaker.  Elevated DDT has McGillicutty reeling.  RKO ends it at 7:15 with about 4 minutes shown.

Rating: D. Not impressed here as it was just a step ahead of a squash.  Did anyone think McGillicutty had a chance here at all?  Either way, it would be nice to have a 1-1 match at Mania rather than having to worry about the interference.  This also gives Orton something to do between now and Mania so that helps a bit.

Post match Orton sets for the punt and Punk comes out to talk him out of it.  This fails of course and McGillicutty’s head is somewhere in the 4th row.  McGiilicutty’s face on the replay is great as his eyes are bugged out and his mouth is wide open.

We get a clip of Sin Cara aka Mistico signing with WWE.  The name Mistico is mentioned as well which is surprising.

Here are Miz and Riley.  Miz says Rock is responding to Cena tonight and not to Miz.  Why isn’t he doing that?  Because Rock knows his time has passed and Miz is now the top star in WWE.  Everyone wants him and wants to talk to him.  He talks about Cena, saying that Miz won the titles last week, not the two of them.  Cena should be worried about Miz, not Rock.  Miz says he’ll beat Cena and then everyone will talk about him as the greatest superstar of all time.

Cue Cena who says he has very important news.  He can’t listen to anything else Miz says because Miz isn’t well.  Cena pulls out a Doctor’s Note (construction paper with Doctor’s Note written on it and a Red Cross) and says Miz is obsessive compulsive.  He’s obsessed with being awesome despite being average.  Cena lists off various things that Miz does, none of which are funny.

Riley says that toilet bowls are called Johns, because just like Cena, they’re full of crap.  Even Cole makes fun of Riley for that one.  Cena asks Miz if he gets it now why no one takes him seriously as champion.  Cena makes something resembling a gay joke by asking if Miz wants to know if he wants his legacy to be shared with another man.  He says Miz should fire Riley tonight to make Mania one on one.

Miz tries to come back at Cena by making fun of the jean shorts so Cena makes more gay jokes.  He says be a man tonight and wants a match with Riley.  If Cena wins, Riley doesn’t work for Miz anymore.  Miz accepts for Riley, on one condition.  Miz won’t interfere, but if Riley wins, Cena has to say Miz is the greatest superstar of all time, because he’s the Miz and he’s awesome.  Cena lists off all the things he’s been put through in the past year and twists his arm around saying ok you’re on.

We get an E-Mail (and the third person answering it in the form of Cole) which says the match tonight will be in a cage.  Good thing they had one above the ring.  You can only win by escape.  Really a weak segment that doesn’t make me want to see them fight any more than I did before.

Divas Battle Royal

Back with this randomly starting.  Eve is on commentary and the winner is #1 contender.  About four people are gone in maybe a minute.  You can go through the ropes to be eliminated.  Within maybe a minute we have a Bella, Maryse and Gail.  Gail sends Maryse out with a handful of tights and then the Bellas switch.  One is thrown out and the other switches.  Eve says she’s had enough and whichever Bella that is (Cole doesn’t know either for the most part) but apparently it’s Brie who wins in 2:00.  Basically all the Raw Divas were in this.

We go to Rock at his home in a Cena hat and with a chain around his neck.  He makes fun of the rapping thing from last week and then “takes this crap off.”  He goes on a big rant against Cena, saying he’s electrifying Buffalo like only Rock can.  He looks like he’s in front of a green screen (I know he’s not but it looks like it for some reason).

Rock talks about making his big return and then Cena replies to him with a rap.  Well of course he did because that’s how the guy in the purple shirt and jean shorts would do.  He makes fun of Thuganomics and Hustle, Loyalty and Respect.  This all started when Cena called Rock a liar when Rock said he loved WWE but never came back.

His love for WWE is endless.  He was born here and it’s in his blood.  There are title belts behind him which he proudly displays and that all he wanted to do was prove that he can do things outside of WWE to open the door for the locker room.  But then Cena insulted the Rock.  Cena opened a door of his own and on the other side is The Rock.

At Mania he’ll be hosting but he’ll be addressing Cena sooner than Cena thinks.  His spirit is everywhere and he can electrify Buffalo just like this.  He snaps his fingers and the lights go out in the arena.  Rock says he’s never alone but is with the millions and millions of Rock’s fans.  He implies he’ll be face to face with Cena very soon.  He says the Rock is back to scratch an itch, so enjoy your Fruity Pebbles you Yabba-Dabba Man.  Very intense and full of energy, but it’s a step down from the two previous promos by these two.

Shawn gives his thoughts on HHH vs. Undertaker.  There is no higher mountain than the Streak but there is something about HHH that is intense beyond words.  More or less Shawn doesn’t pick either guy.

Here’s Daniel Bryan for a match but Miz jumps him on the way to the ring.  A running big boot puts Bryan down as this is an assault.  Fan: “Miz you’re a big cheater!”  Bryan is destroyed and takes a Skull Crushing Finale onto the floor.  Even Cole gets on Miz for this.  Miz grabs a mic and says he did that because he can.  Welcome to the Miz Show!  Now lower the cage and start the match!

Alex Riley vs. John Cena

You can win by escape only and if Cena wins, Miz has to fire Riley.  Miz tweets that he’s on commentary which is kind of cool.  Cena hammers away in the corner and doesn’t seem to be that worried.  Release fisherman’s suplex puts Riley down.  Miz is being a jerk even to Cole as he’s not happy about being forgotten for Rock and Cena.  That’s a very legitimate criticism actually.  Miz runs away to stop Cena from getting out of the cage and allows Riley to get in a good shot and take over.

Riley’s chest is blood red.  Cena goes into the cage and Miz has Riley bring Cena over to the cage to take a picture of him for Twitter.  That’s hilarious.  Miz slips the phone in through the cage and Cena is clocked with it.  The referee is like dang I need to upgrade.  Cena makes a diving save and Miz runs up to start a tug of war with Riley.  STFU goes on and Riley is in trouble.  Cena tries to get out but Miz grabs a chair and holds him off for Riley to get an electric chair drop and we take a break at 11:02.  Ok then.

Back with Riley hitting a dropkick but Cena is coming back with his ending sequence.  Five Knuckle Shuffle hits as the crowd doesn’t seem to care.  They’ve been pretty weak all night but granted with this card that’s not really something you can blame them for.  FU is blocked and they fight on the top rope.    Riley knocks him down and goes up but takes forever as I guess Cena wasn’t ready in time.

Cena makes the save and they fight on top of the cage.  Riley goes back in and Cena does also for some reason.  Back in the ring there’s the FU and Cena grabs Miz’s phone to take a picture of Riley.  Miz stops him from escaping again but Cena just shoves the  door open with the power of Flintstone Vitamins to win at 12:50.  He winds up taking a Skull Crushing Finale on the floor to end the show.

Rating: C+. Decent  match for the most part and I don’t think the ending was ever really in doubt, but the phone spots were funny as they were trying something new out there for the sake of comedy.  Good stuff here but I’d really like this to become a more serious main event feud than the comedy stuff they’ve been doing so far.  Also, Riley vs. Cena in a cage?  Really?  That’s the main event of Raw?

Overall Rating: D. Well some stuff was added to Mania, but this was a very boring show.  FAR too little wrestling.  Even another five minutes or so would have helped this but there was just nothing of note in the ring here.  I get that they just had a big South American tour and are all spent but this was ridiculous.  Cena not taking Miz seriously is getting old fast and I’m hoping the title doesn’t change at Mania.  Weak show overall, but there were some decent parts.

Results

Evan Bourne b. Sheamus – Shooting Star Press

Randy Orton b. Michael McGillicutty – RKO

Brie Bella won a Divas Battle Royal – Bella last eliminated Gail Kim to win

John Cena b. Alex Riley – Cena escaped the cage

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 21, 2011
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

We’re 41 days away from Wrestlemania and the first stop on the real Road to Wrestlemania is here in Fresno.  The main event on the Raw side is Cena vs. Miz which does sound like a big match if done right.  WWE has a lot of momentum right now with a good show last night, Rock’s return last week and the arrival of whoever 2-21-11 is about tonight should mean this will be a big night for WWE.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a shot of a clock counting down to 2-21-11 which is set to end in roughly an hour.

Theme song.

Cena opens the show and says what a day and what a crowd.  There’s a Rocky chant as he gets ready to talk.  The fans seemed to be split when he came out but cheering more for him than booing.  He won the Elimination Chamber last night and is going to Wrestlemania.  Last night should have been a fun night filled with wine, women and song, but this isn’t your typical night.

Since last week he hasn’t been hearing about the Miz or the Elimination Chamber but rather about alleged comments Rock made about him.  People have been asking what Cena is going to say about the Rock, but Cena isn’t sure what to do.  He was planning on just letting it go because it’s the Rock.  We look at the footage and Rock’s face on screen gets a big old pop.

We see the clip from last week of Rock ripping Cena apart for the catchphrase and the hand gestures and the colorful shirt.  Rock said he’ll see Cena at Wrestlemania.  Cena says that Rock was making fun of him and Cena should probably say something right?  There’s only one way for Cena to call someone out but he hasn’t done it in a long time.  However, he still has a degree in Thuganomics.  If he doesn’t take care of this tonight he can’t focus on Wrestlemania.  This is a one time only thing.

After a brief warmup he’s in a Fresno State (location of the show) of mind and he gets out the chain.  I won’t try to put what he says here but his great line is “I was speaking the truth.  You left us all hanging to play a fairy about a tooth?”  Cena is like a big purple pinwheel Rock so go ahead and blow him.

There’s a Witch Mountain/Brokeback Mountain joke in there as Cena is ripping into all of the movie titles of Rock.  The fans are into this it seems and definitely aren’t booing.  To close it out he said we couldn’t see Rock for seven years but Cena is here every week to show what the fans mean to him.  Find this online as Cena completely owned Rock here.

Cole is going to interview King later.

Morrison vs. Punk next.

46 minutes left in the clock.

John Morrison vs. CM Punk

Morrison can barely walk and do his pose due to the knee injury last night.  Punk is limping as well.  This is one of the best rivalries in years in WWE.  Think back to how many times they’ve fought over the years.  Morrison hammers away in the corner and Punk is in trouble to start.  He slips to the floor though and rams Morrison’s knee into the apron to take over.  Punk is moving much better than Morrison here.

Punk busts out the Haas of Pain of all things.  It’s like a Sharpshooter but Punk is laying next to Morrison and puts his foot on the crossed legs of Morrison and bends Morrison back.  Morrison gets out and fires away again.  And never mind as Punk gets a kick to the knee and the GTS ends this clean at 2:57.  That came out of absolutely nowhere.

Rating: C+. Considering the injuries and the psychology here this was good enough to warrant a rating.  Punk looked good and it doesn’t really hurt Morrison that much since you had Morrison all banged up out there.  Decent match and something I’d love to see more of with these two both healthy.

Post match Punk talks to Randall Keith Orton about how Punk is right here and waiting on Orton.  The New Nexus has the night off and this isn’t a trap.  Everything is about choices.  Today these people bought a ticket to see Punk.  In September of 2008, Orton made a choice to punt Punk in the head and cost him the title.

He points at the Mania sign and says that Punk isn’t going there because Punk is going to hurt him.  Orton needs to walk away and not be here next week or Punk will hurt him.  Cue Orton through the crowd and Punk runs.  New Nexus comes out but Punk shoves them away and a stand off takes us to a break.

Here’s Ricardo to introduce Del Rio for his match.  As Del Rio is doing his entrance, Kofi jumps Alberto.  There was a bell before Del Rio came out and a referee is out there so I’m assuming this is a match.  They never get into the ring though and Del Rio puts the Cross Armbreaker on the heavily bandaged arm and leaves Kofi laying.  I guess this wasn’t a match.  Kofi gets up and Del Rio jumps him again and Kofi is in trouble.

Miz is up next as we have 23:30 to go in the clock.

Here’s the WWE Champion to talk about the Rock.  He talks about remembering Rock ripping people apart time after time and was thrilled to hear what Rock had to say about him.  The best Rock could do is say that Miz sucks?  Really?  Really?  REALLY?  He’s heard better from kindergarteners.  Let him wipe his tears in his championship gold.  Miz doesn’t care what the fans think of him and he’s the most must see WWE Champion there is.  This was a lot better than it sounds.

We get an E-Mail which says enough about the Rock as the GM will deal with Rock when the GM is ready.  We get a Rock N Sock Connection reference and tonight the tag titles are on the line with Corre vs. Miz/Cena.  Please…..not this angle AGAIN.

Back with I kid you not George Washington vs. Abraham Lincoln.  Cena does a run-in to beat up George Washington.  It’s for the WWE All-Stars game if that makes you feel any better.

Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Gail Kim

Fast paced brawl to start with Gail dominating.  Nice cross body by her gets two.  The other Bella pulls Gail off the apron and it looked like her head slammed into the floor.  This is a very aggressive match.  Eve comes in and does the standing moonsault for two as the other Bella distracts her.  Rollup by Eve doesn’t work as Twin Magic occurs and one Bella pins Eve at 2:30.  This was nothing.

Less than three minutes and we take a break.

Back with the countdown starting at 25 seconds.  We see shots of the house and the crowd counts it down as the door on the house is opened.  Yep it’s Taker to almost no one’s shock.  Still cool though with Johnny Cash playing him to the ring.  There’s the gong and the place lights up.  Big explosions and Taker’s symbol hangs over the ring.  He takes the hat off, AND IT’S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!!!!  HHH is back too!

He does the corner pose and Taker stares him down.  HHH looks over his shoulder and the music ends.  BIG HHH chant starts up.  They get nose to nose and HHH looks at the Mania sign.  Then Taker looks at the Mania sign.  Taker….smirks at HHH and puts the hat back on.  Deadman turns his back on the Game as the sign hangs over both of them.  Taker turns to face the Game and gives him a throat slash.  Not a word has been said this whole time.  HHH holds up his arms and does the crotch chop.  They stare down again and we go to a break.  Cool segment.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

They brawl to start and Henry grabs a bearhug and throws him to the floor with ease.  Very slow and lumbering match here as we’re back in the ring.  Slingshot shoulder block gets two for the king.  Henry rams Sheamus into the corner to take over.  A splash misses and Sheamus kicks him in the chest.  Sheamus pulls the turnbuckle off and Henry rams him into the exposed buckle.  World’s Strongest Slam ends this at 3:50.

Rating: D-. It was slow, it was stupid, it was lumbering and this gets us….where?  Nothing special here at all and granted it didn’t help to have to go on after the double return like that.  Yeah I’ve got nothing else to say here.

Miss USA is going to be on Tough Enough.  I give up.

Daniel Bryan and Gail are in the back but Sheamus comes up to get in his face.

The latest inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame is Hacksaw Jim Duggan!  This works fine for me.

Cole is here to talk to Jerry Lawler.  They can’t fight or they’re both fired.  Oh and Cole reminds us again that he’s a journalist.  The interview is next.

Here’s Lawler and Cole’s first question is what was it like knowing that last night was his big night.  Jerry says nothing.  How did it feel when he realized his dreams were going to be shattered and he was going to lose to the awesome Miz?  Did that mean maybe Cole was right and that it was time to retire?  Jerry says nothing.

What was it like when you were laying on your back and you realized that your deceased mother, no disrespect, had the best seat in the house and that your Wrestlemania dreams were over, how did you feel when you realized you let your mother down?  Jerry grabs Cole by the coat and says if Cole ever mentions his mother again it’ll be the last thing Cole ever says.  He’s had enough of listening to Cole.

Jerry says he’s going to Wrestlemania and he’s issuing an open challenge: Lawler vs. Cole.  Cole calls Lawler senile and runs back to the announce desk.  Lawler says be a man and show us what you’ve got.  Jerry asks if Cole is a coward and Cole takes his jacket off and throws his drink in Jerry’s face.  Cole runs into the crowd and Jerry is ticked.

Tag title match next.

Tag Titles: The Miz/John Cena vs. Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel

According to Josh this is unprecedented for some reason.  Miz vs. Slater to start us off.  All Miz so far as he beats on both Corre members.  Cena responds with a golf clap and is tagged in to a good pop.  Back off to Miz as the champions have had nothing for the most part.  There’s the Skull Crushing Finale and it’s over in 3:12.  What the heck?  Uh…ok then.  No rating due to the length as it’s 10 minutes til 11:00 so there’s a lot more to come here.

Barrett says hold it as the Corre is invoking their rematch clause right now.  An E-Mail says ring the bell.  The match starts post break.

Tag Titles: The Miz/John Cena vs. Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel

Back with the match already in progress and Miz holding a wristlock on Gabriel.  Cena comes in as does Slater.  Cross body by Cena gets two and it’s back off to Miz.  The WWE Champion is knocked to the floor and Corre holds Riley back so Miz can be beaten down by Gabriel.  Slater gets two on Miz.  Off to a chinlock by Slater which gets him nowhere.  It’s weird seeing Miz as the defacto face.  Neckbreaker by Slater gets two.

Gabriel in now but Miz fights him off and hits that knee to the back/neckbreaker combo.  He can’t make the tag though as Slater is tagged in for the save.  Miz still can’t make a tag and Gabriel throws on a headlock.  The crowd is WAY into this too which is making things a lot better.

Gabriel is sent to the apron and tries to come in off the top.  He jumps into a big boot though and Cena wants a tag.  Ask and ye shall receive as it’s Cena vs. Slater now.  Cena initiates his ending sequence and there’s the 5 Knuckle Shuffle and FU.  Actually it isn’t as Miz shoves Cena over with something like the Skull Crushing Finale and Slater gets the pin  to regain the titles at 12:00!

Rating: C+. Better formula match here and it worked pretty well.  I had a feeling they were going to do the switch right back and I’m glad they did.  This worked rather well and it sets up more of the world title feud between the two.  Good stuff here and the whole segment worked rather well.  Also very good that they didn’t go with the predictable ending.

Overall Rating: A-. First and foremost, those people complaining about the lack of wrestling here need to shut their mouths.  They’re completely missing the point of this and don’t even bother trying to compare it to Impact last week.  This was about building to Mania and it did that in spades.  The point was completely different and if you didn’t like what was done tonight that’s fine.  However, it wasn’t the same as what they did there and this is an instance where the lack of wrestling can be excused to a degree.

As for the show itself, this was a drama/storyline building show and it worked very well in that regard.  Cena responded to the Rock, we set up Cole vs. Lawler, Miz vs. Cena got development, two major stars returned to set up their big match at Mania and we might have a midcard feud developing with Sheamus vs. Bryan.  That all happened in two house plus more stuff.  I disagree with what they had go on last, but this was a huge show and it came off like a huge show.  Well done indeed.

Results

CM Punk b. John Morrison – GTS

Bella Twins b. Eve Torres/Gail Kim – Small Package to Eve

Mark Henry b. Sheamus – World’s Strongest Slam

The Miz/John Cena b. Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel – Skull Crushing Finale to Gabriel

Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater b. John Cena/The Miz – Slater pinned Cena after a Skull Crushing Finale

Elimination Chamber 2011
Date: February 20, 2011
Location: Oracle Arena, Oakland, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

It’s the final major stop on the Road to Wrestlemania as tonight we more or less set the main events in stone.  The title matches are the Smackdown Chamber match which has an open spot and Jerry Lawler vs. The Miz for the Raw Title.  It blows my mind that there’s an actual chance that is somewhat open for debate about who wins.  Also there’s the Raw Chamber match and that’s about it.  Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about what you would expect: it’s a video of how the Chamber is the big diabolical (their word not mine) turn on the Road to Wrestlemania.  This is another of those shows where the big match sells itself and there’s not a thing wrong with that.

The set has what looks like the side of a Chamber in front of the Tron.  Yeah that’s not a bad idea at all.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston

Not a bad choice tos tart with but I’m so used to the Chamber starting us off that it’s a bit surprising.  Ricardo gets in a jab at the Raiders which is rather easy to do to be fair.  Alberto says that he’s committed to excellence unlike the people from Oakland.  Commitment to Excellence is the motto of the Oakland Raiders if that line makes no sense.  Tonight six men fight for the chance to face him and there’s nothing they can do to stop him.  Kofi’s music finally cuts him off.

This is non-title mind you.  Josh talks about Alberto taking liberties on Horny while Horny was blindfolded.  You can make your own jokes there.  We get an Alberto chant to start and a basic back and forth sequence to start.  Alberto is sent to the floor where Ricardo plays nurse as well as he can.  Kofi tries something on the apron and is rammed into the post to soften up the arm.

Body scissors by Del Rio who has a big chant going for him here.  Belly to back gets two for Alberto and it’s back to the body scissors.  Kofi fights back and gets a spinning flying forearm off the top in an awesome looking move.  They fight from their knees up to their feet and Kofi chops away.  Boom Drop hits but Trouble in Paradise misses.  Pendulum kick hits but the cross body is countered into a knee that might have been into the arm or ribs but it wasn’t clear.

Del Rio tries a superplex but Kofi fights him off and gets a missile dropkick for a close two.  It’s always cool when it looks like the referee threw his shoulder out on the two counts.  Del Rio gets something close to a GTS but instead it ends with a double knee to the ribs.  That only gets two and Kofi counters what looked like a big atomic drop into a DDT.  Ricardo distracts though so it’s only two.

The Armbreaker can’t go on as Kofi grabs the rope before it is applied.  SOS gets a very close two.  Booker is totally behind Kofi but says he’s trying not to be biased.  Kofi jumps at Del Rio in the corner but misses and Alberto gets a nice neckbreaker for no cover.  Cross Armbreaker is attempted but Kofi locks his hands to avoid it for a bit.  And never mind as it goes on and Kofi taps.  Alberto’s face is hilarious.

Rating: B. This is the kind of win that Alberto needs.  Kofi can afford some losses like this as Del Rio’s star is rising rapidly.  Also he didn’t get destroyed at all as he got ripped off by Ricardo a bit.  This worked rather well but is something you could see on a lot of Smackdowns for free.  Still good though.

Orton is ready.

Edge says he’s had a bad week and now that he has to walk into an Elimination Chamber after a week with Vickie, it seems like a walk in the park.  Drew McIntyre comes up and asks about the casualties like Kelly.  Edge says that Kelly and the title have something in common: neither will ever be seen with Drew.

Video about the Chamber which makes me think we’re getting ready for a lumberjill match.  What?  You don’t see the obvious connection there?

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Kane vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Wade Barrett vs. ???

Remember that we have an extra spot open in the Chamber due to Dolph having been fired.  Kane comes out first and therefore is in a pod to start.  Drew is out second and therefore will be in a pod as well.  The first four will be in pods which means we get to see who the final guy is rather soon.  Barrett is in third.  We hear about his bare knuckle fighting experience which makes me ask again: has he ever used said skills to win a match?  Also Cole thinks Barrett is from Eastern Europe instead of Western.

Here’s Teddy Long when we’re ready for the fourth person.  He’s here to introduce the next participant I guess.  Here’s the replacement: It’s Big Show which is kind of what I expected when he came out there.  Rey vs. Edge to start.  Five minute periods as always with the last man standing winning.  Every five minutes another comes in.  Edge and Rey start off kind of slow which makes perfect sense as they want to maintain energy.

Edge sends Rey out to the steel for the first time with a backdrop.  Drew is all ticked off and hammers on the glass as he wants to get to Edge as fast as possible.  Edge and Rey fights on the outside with Rey being rammed into the cage multiple times.  Rey gets rammed into the glass which is “the strongest in the world” which gets two.  We’re more or less just killing time here and there’s the ten second clock.

In third it’s Barrett.  He’s all fired up and goes after Rey immediately.  Edge gets up to slow down the Englishman.  Edge and Rey work together until Edge slides Rey across the mat and cage so that his head rams into the wall.  FREAKING OW MAN!  Boss Man Slam to Edge gets two and Barrett turns his attention to Rey after taunting Show.  Pumphandle slam gets two.

Barrett is dominating here and we’re out on the steel again.  A shot to the cage with Edge’s head going into it gets two.  Edge low bridges Barrett and Wade might have hurt his knee.  Rey takes down Edge but as he goes up Barrett stops him.  Wasteland on the cage is countered as Rey grabs the cage.  He tries to climb but Barrett catches him in a powerbomb position.  Rana takes Barrett into the ring but Edge gets a big boot to stop the 619 for two.  Again, why would you stop a finisher?

In fourth is Kane.  He goes straight for Edge but gets caught by a boot.  Kane cleans house, beating everyone in sight down.  Everyone wakes up and gangs up on Kane as they should.  A bunch of kicks to the head can’t stop him so we get a triple clothesline with Barrett clotheslining Edge and Rey and vice versa.  We get some basic stuff and Barrett gets beaten down by Kane outside.

Rey tries to go up to take down Kane but a HUGE uppercut knocks Rey down into a Tree of Woe.  Edge adds a baseball slide for two.  Kane, Edge and Rey in the ring now while Barrett is slowly crawling back in.  In at #5 is McIntyre.  No eliminations yet.  Drew has been wanting in the whole time and immediately picks up Rey and launches him into the glass.  The Europeans beat up Kane, who actually is European as well so scratch that theory.  Drew kicks the rope as Barret gets in and then throws him through the UNBREAKABLE glass.  That’s a running joke now and it’s never been funny.

Drew is all annoyed and goes after Edge.  All Drew here as he can’t get Futureshock on Edge but Edge hits Edgecution for no cover.  Rey is somehow still alive as Edge is trying to get up.  Edge wants the spear but Kane grabs him in a chokeslam.  Rey is back in too but can’t hit the 619.  Kane beats everyone down and slams Rey into the post.  Drew can’t get Futureshock again as Kane backdrops him onto Barrett outside.

Edge and Kane hit double big boots to take each other down.  That replay of Rey being thrown in awesome as it’s amazing he’s still alive.  Show is getting ready as we’re under ten seconds.  Naturally he takes down everyone.  Barrett is the only one not in other than kind of Rey.  HUGE chop to Drew.  Barrett is the only one left standing other than Show and the stalking begins.

Show gets his hand on Barrett and chops away like 8 times on the outside.  Barrett rolls back into the ring and it’s all Show.  Big punch coming and Barrett is more or less dead and the pin is academic.  We’re down to five and Rey is on top of a pod.  Kane hits the top rope clothesline.  Edge adds a top rope elbow for two as Show launches Edge over the referee.  Futureshock to Show as Rey is still up there.  The DDT gets two as Rey is ready to jump.  Huge seated senton gets two as Rey is LAUNCHED.

619 and a spear put Show down but Kane fights them off.  Chokeslam to Show and we’re down to four (Kane, Drew, Edge and Rey if you’re curious).  Drew jumps into a chokeslam immediately and we’re down to three.  It’s more or less a handicap match here but Edge is taken down.  Rey hits a bunch of stuff on Kane but he can’t get the pin.  Spinning cross body is caught in a chokeslam position but he reverses into the 619.  Rey goes up and jumps into a powerbomb.  Spear from Edge and a double cover is enough to take Kane out and we’re down to Rey vs. Edge.

Kane kills Edge with a big boot and a chokeslam to Edge has both guys down.  After them laying there for a good while, Edge gets up and tries the spear but Rey reverses into a rollup for two.  Springboard cross body is rolled through into two for Edge.  Sitout bulldog gets two.  Rey goes up but gets stopped by a shot from the Canadian.  Mysterio knocks Edge down and tries a rana but Edge reverses into a sitout powerbomb for a long two.

Another powerbomb is countered into the 619 but Edge catches it and locks on the Edgecator of all things (kneeling Sharpshooter that he uses once in a blue moon).  Rey is in trouble but reverses into a rollup for two.  Good stuff here.  Edge sets for the spear and the fans are booing a bit.  Spear misses but the second one doesn’t and it’s NOT OVER.  Rey kicks out again in a big surprise.  619 hits and the springboard splash gets two.  Another 619 hits and Rey goes up.  Edge pops up and spears him out of the air to go to Wrestlemania FINALLY.

Rating: A. GREAT match here with Edge vs. Rey being the highlight.  I would say the ending was predictable but still, the ending sequence with all the kickouts was so good that it’s more than ok.  I don’t like Rey but he was great here.  I loved all the aggression in there with everyone destroying each other all night long.  Great stuff here and one of the better Chamber matches I can remember in along time.

Post match Alberto hits the ring and the beating is on Edge.  The Armbreaker goes on but CHRISTIAN runs out for the save to the least interested response from Cole that I have ever heard.  Unprettier to Del Rio (yes I know it’s the Killswitch but Unprettier is a better name).  Edge gets a spear to Del Rio to put him down.

The Rock will be at Mania.  Not sure if you heard that.

Lawler is getting ready when Striker comes in to ask for Jerry’s thoughts.  He’s thinking about his mother which is good emotion from Lawler.

Booker gets to make an in ring appearance and introduces the third trainer of Tough Enough: TRISH STRATUS??????  Even with the brown hair she’s still great looking.  She says she’s been getting excited about being around the ring and has been working on a new catchphrase.  FINALLY, the Trish has come back at Oakland to deliver Stratusfaction to the millions SUCKA!  Uh…yeah just wear little clothing Trish.  Booker wants to know that she didn’t just say that.  She’s here tonight to see King win the title.

Chaperone trailer despite the movie bombing for the most part.

Tag Titles: Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov vs. Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater

Jackson is here too which makes me think there’s a title change here.  Kozlov and Slater to start but it’s off to Santino almost immediately.  Off to Gabriel now as they trade strikes and leg sweeps.  Vlad gets a  battering ram to send Gabriel to the floor but a kick to the head puts the Russian down.  Very international match here with Canada/Italy, South Africa, South America, Russia and America being represented.  Slater in with a slingshot corkscrew splash for two.

Booker keeps calling Jackson a thug despite him not doing anything yet.  Back to Santino again who gets all fired up.  Hip block sets up the headbutt for two.  Gabriel comes in and it’s Cobra time.  It takes down Gabriel but Slater is legal so Marella has to cover him for two.  Slater gets up and stomps away at the Canaditalian.  Gabriel misses a slingshot hilo and it’s off to Kozlov who has no heat on the tag.

Blind tag brings Slater in and Jackson pulls Gabriel out of the ring.  Slater gets a reverses DDT for no cover as he brings Gabriel back in.  Santino is taken down by Slater and the 450 FINALLY gives Corre their first gold in the form of the tag titles.  Quick and simple and more or less a Raw match but the mild buildup works perfectly here.

Rating: C. This was a Raw match on PPV but it was perfectly fine.  Corre winning is the right move here and this lets them spread over to Raw, setting up the potential clash at Mania.  This was perfectly fine and a good way to bridge the gap between the first half and second half of the show.

Miz says he’ll win because this is his time, not Lawler’s or Rock’s.  He says he’ll address Rock later.

Here’s Vickie to waste more time.  She’s a bit quieter here.  She says that Dolph and her were dealing with some issues as he has a bad temper.  The booing is kind of funny.  It was a crime of passion apparently when Dolph jumped Teddy.  She begs for the fans to plead with Teddy to rehire Dolph as she deserves some compassion and a little bit of love.

Teddy comes out and Vickie sucks up to him.  Dang I didn’t want that image in my head.  He says shut up as he’s in a hiring mood.  It’s not Dolph but he’s rehired Kelly instead.  Kelly shoves Vickie down and the beatdown is on.  Laycool comes out for the save and beats down Kelly.  Trish comes out and runs them off but they go after Trish.  The good girls fight back and beat down Laycool and pose to end this.  Trish botched a lot of stuff in there too and it was rather bad.  We couldn’t have added five more minutes to Kofi vs. Alberto?

We recap Miz vs. Lawler.  There’s a great bit at the beginning showing Miz doing his apron pose and the different titles and things he’s had to hold in a quick montage.  Miz talks about how he was told to quit and kept rising up the ranks resulting in this title reign.  Lawler said that Miz needed to shut up and that’s all we see of their rivalry.  Instead we see Lawler winning the Raw rumble.  We get a cool montage of Lawler and how he’s won over 140 titles but never the WWE Title.  Cool video indeed.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. Jerry Lawler

Wow I never thought I’d type that.  We even get big match intros.  Jerry in white and black with a cape here.  That’s rather awesome.  The bell rings twice so technically this isn’t happening.  Jerry gets a quick backslide and small package for two each.  He unleashes his variety of punches as it’s all Lawler so far.  Miz gets knocked to the floor and chills for a bit.  Riley distracts Jerry though and Miz sends him into the post to shift momentum.

Miz can’t get Lawler in the ring for some reason.  He settles for a running knee while Lawler is on the apron for two.  Jerry gets a punch and the fans wake up.  Running clothesline in the corner and down goes Lawler.  Miz goes up and Jerry crotches him so they slug it out on the middle rope.  Superplex puts Miz down for two.  Riley’s reactions out there are hilarious.

They slug it out again and Jerry gets a pair of dropkicks for no cover.  Backdrop and a falling punch get two as Miz is in trouble.  We get something close to Cole being civil by saying Lawler is hanging in there.  Riley interferes by tripping Lawler and is ejected.  I know it’s a long shot and more or less an impossibility but the stars are seeming to align for Jerry to pull this off.  Miz misses a charge in the corner and Lawler rolls him up for two.

Miz escapes the Piledriver and gets a big boot for two.  Jerry reverses the pin into a rollup for two and then Miz is sent to the floor over the top.  Cole is so annoying here as Jerry rams Miz into the announce table.  Cole says he and Miz have a personal relationship which you can make your own jokes about.  Jerry throws Miz at the commentators and Miz lands on Cole.  Booker cracking up at that is great.

Lawler is in control here and goes up top as we’re back in the ring.  Top rope punch to a standing Miz gets a very close two.  Crowd is INTO this.  Miz gets a thumb to the eye but can’t get the Finale as Lawler shoves him off.  Jerry gets a DDT and Miz is reeling!  He looks at the Mania sign and goes up for the middle rope punch.  With a point to the sign and the strap coming down, Jerry gets the fist but Miz gets his foot on the ropes.  My heart jumped into my throat there.

As Booker talks about Dr. Dre and Snoop Dog for no apparent reason the Piledriver is reversed into a rollup by Miz for two.  Jerry reverses that into one of his own for two but Miz gets a kick to the head.  And there’s the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin.  It was a nice dream while it lasted but at the end of the day I think we all knew this was coming.  Still though, INCREDIBLE job here by WWE of making us think it could happen.

Rating: B-. The match was weak from a technical standpoint but they NAILED the drama here.  Jerry is a master at working the crowd and he had me believing that it was possible.  He made us believe that he could actually do this and put on a passable match at the same time.  I really hope this results in Jerry vs. Cole or Riley at Mania, but still this was a great performance and the whole thing worked.

Cole celebrates like crazy and poses with Miz in the ring.  Jerry gets up and is like well I tried.  He gets a standing ovation and they play his music to take him out.  Cole of course WILL NOT SHUT UP and let Lawler have his moment.  If this doesn’t end with Jerry piledriving Cole half to death then it fails.  Still though, great moment and incredible storytelling by WWE there.

2-21-11 promo.  Yes, let’s continue to look for tiny clues in there when we’ll find out tomorrow.

Cena is eating Fruity Pebbles and Todd comes in.  Cena says that he’s thinking about the Chamber tonight and not what happened on Monday.  He feels Yabba Dabba Delicious though.

Striker is with Punk who says he’ll win.

Mania is in 42 days.  That sounds incredible.

We recap the first match Chamber match which is going to be hard to top.

John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. CM Punk vs. R-Truth vs. John Morrison vs. Sheamus

Truth, Punk, Orton and Cena in the pods to start.  Punk gets in Orton’s face while Orton is in the pod.  Booker says he can go right now and he means against Cole.  Morrison vs. Sheamus to start us off.  How in the world is Morrison a dark horse like this?  Oh and remember that the winner gets Miz at Mania.  Here we go.  The fans seem to like Punk but I’m not sure if that’s what they’re saying.

They start off with some nice back and forth stuff until Sheamus slaps him.  Angry Morrison shows up and the beating is on.  Sheamus hides outside so Morrison dives over the top rope to take him out.  Both block head shots to the cage and Morrison sets for the Flash Kick.  Sheamus avoids it but Morrison is like boy I’m John Morrison so he catches himself on the cage and hits a Flash Kick from there instead.  That gets two back in the ring.

Sheamus takes over and we have dueling Cena/Punk chants.  With not a lot going on it’s Orton in third.  He cleans some house and it’s a powerslam (Booker calls it a scoop slam) to Sheamus and then one to Morrison (scoop powerslam according to Booker which I can live with).  Morrison goes through the glass.  Actually he might not have as the door might have been open.

Orton manages to get the elevated DDT to Sheamus onto the cage in a painful looking spot.  Punk enjoys that for some reason.  All Orton here as Morrison and Sheamus are getting destroyed.  Morrison takes a superplex for a close two as no one is gone yet.  There’s one for Sheamus as well for the same result.  Miz and Riley are watching.  Oh and Scott Armstrong has a job again.

In fourth is Punk and Orton is waiting on him.  And they can’t get the pod opened.  Punk is stuck in the door!  THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!  Orton is like screw it and hammers away as Punk still isn’t out!  Ah there he is.  RKO and Punk is gone in like 12 seconds!  Orton celebrates….and we get an E-Mail???  Since Punk couldn’t get out, he’s back in the match.  Dang it all.  He’s allowed back into his pod also.  Oh sweet goodness.

Irish Curse to Orton but the High Cross misses.  Flash Kick to Orton and it’s Sheamus vs. Morrison now.  Morrison is thrown to the steel and might have hurt his ankle.  There’s the clock again and it’s Cena in now.  And never mind as Sheamus kicks his head off as soon as Cena’s pod opens.  Cena is up soon after it but can’t get the FU to Morrison who flips out to land on his feet on the steel.

Morrison takes out Orton and Sheamus.  Cena dumps Morrison to the steel again and they fight out there for a bit.  Sheamus is like forget it and launches himself with a double slingshot clothesline to take both guys down.  Orton vs. Sheamus in the ring now and a Thesz Press takes Sheamus down.  Truth is in next and Sheamus tries the same thing he did to Cena which doesn’t work here.

Truth hammers away on Sheamus in the pod which works for a few seconds.  All five still in now.  Truth cleans a little house with the Lie Detector to Cena.  And then he walks into a Brogue Kick to put him out.  Orton vs. Cena and Sheamus vs. Morrison at the moment.  Sheamus’ back is all red and purple.  Orton throws Morrison through the glass and then the superpowers explode.

They slug it out but Orton gets a sweet dropkick for two.  There’s the clock and it’s time for Punk.  Orton waits on him and the door opens for a change.  Cena grabs Orton though but it winds up being an RKO to Cena on the steel.  Punk isn’t in the ring yet.  Brogue Kick to Orton and apparently covers count on the steel as Punk gets two out there.  Punk does the RKO setup in a nice bit of cockiness and manages to get the GTS to put Orton out.

Down to four now (Punk, Cena, Sheamus and Morrison).  Punk goes after everyone but the bulldog on the steel to Sheamus doesn’t work at all.  Morrison vs. Sheamus now and Morrison tries to climb a pod.  Sheamus follows and they fight ON TOP OF THE POD.  Sheamus sets for the High Cross but Morrison fights out of it and knocks Sheamus to the mat.

Morrison CLIMBS THE DOME OF THE CHAMBER and hangs there before dropping down onto Sheamus for the pin!  Would have been better if Sheamus hadn’t looked at him for 10 seconds but dang that looked incredible.  Punk charges at Cena which fails completely.  Five Knuckle Shuffle hits and Punk rolls to the steel.  FU doesn’t work out there but Morrison dives on both of them and they’re all down.

With Cena down, Morrison tries the running knee at Cena but it misses and the knee goes through the glass.  FREAKING OW MAN!  In the ring Punk covers off a freaking snap mare for two.  Triangle choke goes on which is now the Anaconda Vice apparently. Cena is like screw it and stands up to allow Morrison to team up for a Doomsday Device for two on Punk.  Wow they’re going old school here and Morrison is looking great.

FU to Morrison but Punk takes Cena down so there’s no cover.  Punk gets the springboard clothesline to Cena on the steel and Punk might be busted open on his arm.  Punk slingshots Cena into the glass which doesn’t break.  COVER HIM!  Naturally he doesn’t as he goes after Morrison.  A slingshot into the pod doesn’t work as Morrison catches himself on the pod then jumps to the cage and hits a Flash Kick.  Starship Pain misses though and the GTS ends Morrison.  Cena pops up and hits an FU over the ropes and onto the steel to go go Mania!

Rating: A-. Another great match here.  I hated the Punk thing at first but now it’s not so bad all things considered.  Cena winning is again predictable but at the same time it’s the best match they have available.  I’d love to see it and if you throw Rock in as a wildcard how can you go wrong?  This was a good match and the whole thing worked.  Good stuff again and worth seeing.

Overall Rating: A. This was an AWESOME show.  When the worst match is perfectly acceptable, how can you say it’s anything but great?  We have Mania set up, there was great drama in the Raw Title match, Corre gets a title now and we got two GREAT Chamber matches.  Mania is set and I’m getting fired up now.  Couple that with the Rock and 2-21-11 tomorrow and how can you complain?  Great show and well worth seeing.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. Kofi Kingston – Cross Armbreaker

Edge b. Wade Barrett, Big Show, Kane, Rey Mysterio and Drew McIntyre – Edge last eliminated Mysterio to win

Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater b. Vladimir Kozlov/Santino Marella – 450 to Kozlov

The Miz b. Jerry Lawler – Skull Crushing Finale

John Cena b. CM Punk, John Morrison, Randy Orton, R-Truth and Sheamus – Cena last eliminated Punk to win