Monday Night Raw
Date: January 1, 2024
Location: Pechanga Arena, San Diego, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Wade Barrett

It’s the first show of the new year and despite this show being against the College Football Playoffs, we’re getting a stacked show. Drew McIntyre is getting a shot at the World Heavyweight Championship and there are rumors of a former champion making a special appearance. Let’s get to it.

Michael Cole and Wade Barrett are in the ring to open things up and run down the card, which is certainly a different way to go. The former WWE Champion is confirmed to be returning tonight as well.

We recap Becky Lynch vs. Nia Jax, which started over five years ago when Jax blasted Lynch with a right hand and hurt her. Then they didn’t do anything about it for years and now we’re having a showdown.

Nia Jax vs. Becky Lynch

Jax powers her around to start and shrugs off Becky’s right hands. A bearhug doesn’t work long for Jax but she easily blocks the Bexploder. Lynch is back up with a missile dropkick for two and we take a break. Back with Lynch getting two off a Molly Go Round but Jax runs her over. The legdrop misses though and they head outside, where Jax punches the post by mistake.

Becky avoids a cannonball against the barricade but Jax beats the count back in. The guillotine legdrop gives Lynch two so she goes for the armbar. That’s countered into a heck of a powerbomb for two so the Annihilator is loaded up. Lynch realizes that might hurt and goes up top, only to have a super Manhandle Slam countered into the super Samoan Drop for two. The crowd is VERY interested in the kickout so Jax sends her face first into the mat, followed by the Annihilator for the pin at 11:53.

Rating: C+. It’s one of Jax’s best matches ever and the fans were way into the near falls near the end. Lynch losing is a rare sight to see and in theory sets up Jax as the big challenger to Rhea Ripley in Australia at Elimination Chamber. That being said, I’m not sure where this leaves Lynch, save for a rematch where she gets her revenge down the line.

Lynch is bleeding from the mouth.

We recap Shinsuke Nakamura’s American Nightmare Before Christmas from a few weeks ago, leading to a brawl with Cody Rhodes.

Here is Cody Rhodes for a chat. Rhodes talks about how it’s a new year but he is stuck on Shinsuke Nakamura. It’s not because of the poem or the poison mist, but rather because this should be over. Rhodes wants to finish this now, so here is Nakamura on the screen. He’d rather wait a week so he can finish Rhodes’ story and then close the book. Nakamura mists the camera for added evil effect. That should do fine for a main event next week.

Kofi Kingston/Jey Uso vs. Imperium

Kofi is in shorts and sneakers, making me think he had a luggage issue. Kofi flips out of Vinci’s armbar to start but Vinci takes him into the corner anyway. Kaiser comes in and hammers away, including sending Kofi into the corner as we take a break. Back with Kofi dropkicking Vinci out of the air…and the match is stopped at 6:18 as Vinci is hurt. Not enough shown to rate due to the break and the injury but that crash was nasty.

Vinci does walk out after the match so that’s a big relief.

Video on the holiday tour.

Video on Ivy Nile.

Here is Miz for MizTV, featuring the Judgment Day as special guests. Actually never mind as here is R-Truth instead. Truth insists that the team was behind him but they slipped away. Miz asks if Truth is seeing invisible people again, which gets us a Little Jimmy reference. Truth sits down (in the one guest chair despite the whole team being scheduled) so Miz can ask him what exactly he does for the team. It turns out Truth does a lot of things, like trying to make the team more popular.

Cue JD McDonagh and Dominik Mysterio to say this is over, but Truth brings up McDonagh losing to be thrown off the team. Dominik gets booed out of the building over and over until he eventually asks Miz how bad his 2023 went. Miz talks about the moments he made, while Dominik’s lone moment was being spanked by Rey Mysterio. Then he got whipped by CM Punk over the holidays! Dominik issues the challenge for the tag match, but Truth isn’t sure which team he’s on. He thinks he’s teaming with Miz to turn on him, but then ducks McDonagh’s clothesline. The villains are cleared out and we take a break.

Miz/R-Truth vs. Judgment Day

Joined in progress with Miz taking Dominik down. Truth comes in for the twisting forearm to Mysterio as we talk about Awesome Truth for a change. A cheap shot puts Truth on the floor though and we take a break. Back with Truth getting on the apron next to Judgment Day and Miz sending Mysterio outside. McDonagh gets in a headbutt….and tags in Truth. Judgment Day isn’t sure what’s going on but they go with it anyway. Truth accidentally hits McDonagh though, allowing the Skull Crushing Finale (after Truth says “I’m sorry Miz. I love you.”) to finish for Miz at 7:23.

Rating: C. The match was goofy comedy and they aren’t hiding what they’re doing here. That’s a perfectly fine way to go as well, as Mysterio and McDonagh are hardly serious stars and beating them isn’t going to hurt them in any significant way. I could go for more of Truth and Miz, as the two of them have some very funny moments together.

Chelsea Green and Piper Niven invade the club and want a rematch with Kayden Carter and Katana Chance. Instead they get drinks thrown in their faces, because this week is about dancing.

Rhea Ripley is ready to hurt Ivy Nile.

Raw Women’s Title: Rhea Ripley vs. Ivy Nile

Ripley is defending but has to slip out of an early fireman’s carry attempt. That’s not cool with Ripley, who powers out and sends Nile face first into the mat. Nile is back up with a toss out to the floor and we take a break. Back with Nile striking away and hitting a leg lariat for two. Nile slips out of a belly to back suplex but gets caught with a heck of a headbutt.

A missile dropkick gives Ripley two but Nile’s suplex gets the same. Ripley drops her with a facebuster and clothesline, followed by a belly to back faceplant for two. Nile catches her on top though and, after pulling Ripley face first into the turnbuckle, grabs a bottom rope German superplex for two. Nile goes up but gets headbutted out of the air for a nasty crash. Riptide retains the title at 11:54.

Rating: C+. The problem for Ripley is she has so few serious challengers. Nile was trying here but clearly not ready for this level and that made an already obvious result a bit more obvious. The good thing here was Ripley sold for Nile and made her look a lot better than she would have otherwise. If nothing else, it’s nice to see Ripley back in the ring as that isn’t something that takes place very often these days.

It’s time for the return of a former WWE Champion and it’s…..Jinder Mahal. Even he acknowledges the disappointment before bragging about his success. Mahal rants about how divided the UNITED States are right now and goes into Punjabi. He’s happy because everyone is united in booing….their own National Anthem in Punjabi. Mahal talks about how he’s different than foreigners like the Iron Sheik, who exposed America for what it is. We get some more Punjabi but here’s THE ROCK for the big interruption.

After taking some time to get to the ring, Rock says Mahal is in trouble now. Mahal is right about one thing: he isn’t the Iron Sheik. We get a Sheik impression from Rock, before Rock tells Mahal why he sucks. Well hang on though as Sheik talks to Rock and tells him what to say: Mahal is the biggest as***** on God’s green earth. Also, no one likes him and he’s not funny. Rock: “If you were one of the Rock’s movies, it would be Baywatch.” Mahal: “I’ve never seen Baywatch.” Rock: “Well nobody else did either. Shut your mouth when the Rock is talking to you.”

Rock goes on about why America is great and doesn’t want to hear Mahal call himself the Modern Day Maharajah. Instead he calls Mahal the Day 1 Douchebag and gets the fans chanting it for him, bringing back the “this side says this and this side says that”. We get a version of the National Anthem, complete with what sounds like a steroids joke about Mahal, which is enough to trigger the fight. The Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow leave Mahal running off so Rock talks about going to get something to eat after the show. When he goes out, should he sit in a booth, at the bar, or…..at the head of the table?

Well. That happened. This was a long segment that is going to be remembered for six words at the end and that’s just fine. I’m not sure what the Rock is going to do or when he’s going to get in the ring (assuming he does), but there are a lot of interesting options out there for multiple shows coming up and this just made it better. I’m not the biggest Rock fan, but you can feel the energy when he is out there and he makes things seem bigger. Also: Rock’s stuff hasn’t aged well, but Mahal handled himself better than I would have expected here, even if he was little more than a means to an end.

Tegan Nox/Natalya vs. Shayna Baszler/Zoey Stark

Baszler runs Natalya over to start and we take a break less than a minute in. Back with Nox hitting a Molly Go Round for two but Baszler runs her over. The Z360 finishes for Stark at 5:29. Another match without enough shown to rate, but this was the death spot of death spots.

Natalya does not seem pleased.

Video on Seth Rollins vs. Drew McIntyre.

Raw World Title: Seth Rollins vs. Drew McIntyre

Rollins is defending and they go outside fast, with Rollins hitting a forearm off the steps. McIntyre can’t get an Alabama Slam but can hit a belly to belly on the floor as we take a break. Back with McIntyre still hammering away but McIntyre misses a charge into the post to put him outside again.

A suicide dive drops McIntyre again and they get back in. This time McIntyre heads up and gets superplexed back down, only to reverse Rollins’ Falcon Arrow into one of his own as we take a break. Back again with McIntyre hitting a super White Noise, followed by a neckbreaker. The Claymore is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two, followed by a low superkick. The Pedigree gives Rollins two and they both need a breather.

Cue Damian Priest with the briefcase and he blasts Rollins in the face! McIntyre Claymores Priest and drops Dominik Mysterio, followed by a Claymore to Rollins….but the cover pulls Rollins’ foot onto the rope. McIntyre can’t believe it so they go outside, with Rollins hitting a Pedigree onto the announcers’ table. Back in and the Stomp retains the title at 18:03.

Rating: B. I was getting into this one and they had me wondering where it was going with the Priest appearance. At the same time, McIntyre has no one to blame but himself here, which should push him further over the edge. Rollins gets another win to clear out McIntyre and we should be on the way to his showdown with Punk, which could very well headline one night of Wrestlemania. Good main event here, with the match getting some time to develop.

Priest is mad to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a show that was more engaging/entertaining than good, as the main event was the only match that really delivered. The opener was good enough, two matches were really short (granted one was stopped early) and Ripley won a match without much drama. The thing is, there was one big moment on here and that is what will be remembered. WWE wanted to start the year off with a bang and that is what they did, delivering a show that might not have been great but did what it was supposed to do, which is more important.

Results
Nia Jax b. Becky Lynch – Annihilator
Jey Uso/Kofi Kingston b. Imperium via referee stoppage
Miz/R-Truth b. Judgment Day – Skull Crushing Finale to McDonagh
Rhea Ripley b. Ivy Nile – Riptide
Shayna Baszler/Zoey Stark b. Tegan Nox/Natalya – Z360 to Nox
Seth Rollins b. Drew McIntyre – Stomp

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 26, 2017
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Corey Graves

Things are getting interesting around here with last week’s show seeing Big Cass revealed as attacking himself to set up Enzo Amore. Why Cass didn’t just attack Amore during a match isn’t clear but that’s life in WWE. Other than that, Brock Lesnar is in the house and planning to call out Samoa Joe. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Roman Reigns to open things up and the WE WANT STROWMAN chants are already out in full force. Reigns: “If you let me get this out you might like this.” He admits that he got choked out last week and Braun Strowman returned to pick the bones. The ambulance match is on and Reigns is ready to drive Strowman out of the building.

Cue an ambulance backing into the arena (I was hoping for a Scott Steiner cameo) so Reigns goes to investigate, only to find…..no one in the back. Instead Strowman jumps him from behind and throws Roman onto the stage. Braun isn’t done with him though and throws Roman back off the stage and against the ambulance. Reigns gets tossed into the ambulance with the doors closed without much effort.

Elias Samson/Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Hardy Boyz/Finn Balor

The good guys cut off what was going to be Samson singing with Sheamus and Cesaro, thereby making them villains. Matt and Sheamus start things off and it’s quickly off to Jeff for Poetry in Motion. Sheamus and Cesaro are sent to the floor as we take an early break. Back with Balor kicking Cesaro in the ribs and actor Josh Duhamel on commentary. A basement dropkick gets two for Balor as we hear about Sheamus appearing in a movie with Duhamel.

As you might expect, the match is COMPLETELY ignored to talk about the movie with only Duhamel sounding interested in the action. Balor tries to fight out of the corner but gets caught in an over the shoulder backbreaker. That doesn’t last long either as Jeff slips out and gets in the legdrop between Sheamus’ legs, only to be sent into the corner as we take another break.

Back with Sheamus giving Jeff the Irish Curse, which the announcers actually acknowledge. Jeff escapes again and brings in Matt to take over on Samson. The Side Effect gets two with Sheamus making the save, only to have Balor get the hot tag to really clean house. The Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus is sent outside for the big flip dive. Balor dropkicks Cesaro into the corner and the Coup de Grace is good for the pin at 17:28.

Rating: C. This was two segments in one as the first half was Duhamel plugging all of his projects (nothing wrong with that as I’m sure a studio told him to do it and he doesn’t know anything about wrestling) and then a pretty good match after the second break. Balor getting the pin is a good idea, though I’m not sure in the idea of him facing Samson in his next feud. At least the match was watchable, assuming you didn’t pay attention to the commentary.

Goldust is ready to debut the Shattered Truth because it’s the grand finale.

R-Truth vs. Goldust

Goldust has his own camera operator and is in his old gear. Truth gets jumped before the bell and laid out. No match.

Paul Heyman is talking about Samoa Joe when Joe comes up and grabs him by the throat. He lets Heyman go and says the Clutch is meant for Lesnar later tonight.

There’s a gauntlet match later tonight to determine the #1 contender to the Women’s Title. Bayley draws her number and seems pleased.

Here are Miz and Maryse for MizTV. Their guests tonight: the Ball family of NBA fame. If you don’t know who they are, just grit your teeth and bear through it. LaVar, the father, runs to the ring and lays down on the mat for a bit before introducing his son Lonzo, who was recently drafted by the Los Angeles Lakers.

Miz is ready to start a partnership with the Ball’s Big Baller Brand but LaVar isn’t having any of that. Miz is a bit too low for LaVar, who runs his mouth about how awesome he is even more and climbs onto the bottom rope. LaVar: “BOY YOU BETTER STAY IN YOUR LANE OR THE HUNT IS ON AND YOU THE PREY!”

A fight is nearly on and here’s Dean Ambrose to interrupt, though LaVar keeps running his mouth. Dean is in a Big Baller Brand shirt because no one has bigger balls than him, plus he likes free t-shirts. That’s it for the segment, likely before LaVar can say anything else that sounds ridiculous. This was TERRIBLE and more proof that WWE cares about getting on SportsCenter and Access Hollywood than anything to do with TV. Honestly, that might have been the worst segment since Katie Vick, if not even further back than that.

Heath Slater/Rhyno/Dean Ambrose vs. Curtis Axel/Bo Dallas/Miz

Joined in progress with Slater working on Axel before it’s off to Rhyno vs. Miz. The announcers are burying the Big Baller Brand (fair enough as it’s overrated and ugly) as Rhyno gets caught in the wrong corner. Axel charges into an elbow in the corner and gets his head clotheslined off, allowing the tag off to Ambrose.

Everything breaks down and the bad guys are all sent outside as we take a break. Back with Miz hitting the YES Kicks to Slater. A neckbreaker to Axel and a heel kick to Miz are enough for the hot tag to Rhyno as everything breaks down. Axel gets in a cheap shot on Rhyno, allowing Dallas to grab a rollup for the pin at 10:22.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing to see but after the previous segment, this might as well have been Flair vs. Steamboat. I mean, it’s no Okada vs. Omega II which was totally 25% better than any “perfect” match ever or anything but it was that good. Miz having lackeys is a great idea for him as he’s the kind of guy who would pay people to hang out with him and do his bidding. It also keeps him feuding with Ambrose while keeping things a bit more fresh.

Long video on Enzo and Big Cass splitting up.

Here’s Enzo for his big speech. Enzo says this is about the realest guys in the room. He’s been trying to get hold of Cass all week, even calling his mother. The one thing he hasn’t done is talk to Cass himself so get out here right now or he’s not leaving the ring. This brings out Cass (with a slightly remixed version of the regular theme) to a hearty chorus of booing. Enzo knows that hurts him because he knows Cass better than anyone.

Words can cut you deep and he’s already bled out. Cass said a lot last week and a bunch of them were right. Enzo has the biggest mouth in the world and it bites off more than he can chew but it was ok because he had Cass with him. Last week, Cass let out his aggression with a lot of passion, which Enzo has seen from him before. The last time Enzo saw it was when he woke up in a hospital bed after getting knocked out on a pay per view. Enzo isn’t letting him walk away before they become Tag Team Champions.

Cass takes the mic and says Enzo doesn’t know when to shut up. After last week, he’s never been so ashamed in his life. Yes Enzo is annoying and loud but that’s just how he is. They’re not going to change each other and they’re brothers. Cass apologizes and they shake hands with Cass hitting the catchphrase. They walk up the ramp….and there’s the big clothesline to Enzo. Cass asks the people if they want Enzo before tossing him down the ramp like a doll. That was a great speech from Enzo and Cass not caring is exactly the right call. I’d have had him kick Enzo in the face and leave without saying a word but this works too.

Post break Cass comes up to Corey Graves and tells him to stay out of his life, no matter what Graves has on Angle.

Seth Rollins vs. Curt Hawkins

Hawkins starts fast and grabs a suplex before throwing on a chinlock. Rollins easily fights back and grabs a Sling Blade, followed by a Blockbuster. The springboard clothesline sets up the windup knee to the face for the pin on Hawkins at 2:59.

Bray Wyatt pops up to say Seth isn’t being himself and on July 9, he’ll take Rollins back where he belongs. So the match is confirmed.

Mickie James and Dana Brooke draw their numbers. Geez people pick up the pace a bit.

Post break, Banks draws her number.

Here’s Paul Heyman to talk about Samoa Joe not fearing Brock Lesnar. Heyman could have taken a cheap shot at Joe in the back and been saved by everyone breaking it up but he’d rather have Lesnar do it himself. This brings out Lesnar but Joe grabs him from behind on the stage and puts on the Koquina Clutch. Lesnar turns purple but drives Joe into the video wall, only to get choked down again. The locker room comes out to break it up but Brock looks really shaken.

Again, this was VERY well done with one very special key: Lesnar fought back but got choked down again. That makes it look like Joe can take something from Lesnar instead of just getting the upper hand in a blindside attack. Joe does not have to win the title but just doing stuff like this to make him feel like a threat is exactly what they needed to be doing.

Neville vs. Lince Dorado

Non-title with Akira Tozawa at ringside. Neville kicks him to the corner to start and grabs an early chinlock. Dorado fights up and hits a flip dive through the ropes, only to get kicked in the head. The Rings of Saturn makes Dorado tap at 3:03.

Rating: D. Just a squash here but I’m always a fan of using jobbers like this. Dorado doesn’t lose anything important by losing to the champ and Neville looks good by being so dominant. It also sets up the post match confrontation, so we can call this a well done little segment, even if the match wasn’t great.

Post match Neville is ready for the fight and Tozawa is happy to oblige but Titus O’Neil comes out to announce the Cruiserweight Title match for Great Balls of Fire. We’ll find out if the Neville Level can contend with the Power of Tozawa.

Emma draws.

We look at the opening segment.

Heyman thinks Lesnar will lose if he gets choked out at Great Balls of Fire. As a promoter though, he loves his because it’s set up perfectly. At the pay per view, Brock is going to hit the F5 and Samoa Joe is going to need smelling salts to be woken up. Joe is going to say that’s what it’s like to fight the Beast. Heyman: “Goodness, gracious, GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!”

Nia Jax has drawn the final number and runs into Alexa Bliss, who knows what it’s like to be judged, just like her. She wishes Jax luck but Nia says she doesn’t need it.

Gauntlet Match

Six women involved total with two starting. Whoever wins the fall keeps going until all six are in with the last woman surviving getting a title shot at Great Balls of fire. Bayley is in at #1 and Nia Jax is in at #2. Bayley slugs away to start but is easily knocked into the corner for some choking. A missed charge lets Bayley hit a top rope elbow drop to a standing Nia’s back but some kicks to the leg don’t get her very far. Instead Nia kicks her into the corner and grabs the Samoan drop for the pin at 3:37. Mickie James is in third and we take a break.

Back with Nia blocking a sunset flip and grabbing a bearhug. Mickie slips out and kicks Nia out of the corner, followed by the top rope Thesz press for two. The spinning kick to the head staggers Jax but she runs Mickie over for the pin at 10:03. Dana Brooke is in fourth and the legdrop ends her at 11:02. Emma is in fifth and the Samoan drop gets rid of her at 12:31. That leaves Sasha Banks in sixth and she knocks Nia to the floor, only to have her suicide dive pulled out of the air. Sasha slips out and poses Nia, followed by the running double knees from the apron to take us to another break.

Back again with Nia holding a chinlock until Sasha fights up with the running knees in the corner. A very hard clothesline gives Nia two and she drops an elbow for the same. Nia takes out the leg and sends Sasha outside for a nine count before throwing on a bearhug. Sasha reverses into a guillotine (she’s been watching those Bayley tapes) but Nia powers her up into a suplex slam.

The legdrop misses though and Sasha hits a hard running elbow to the face. A standing Banks Statement is easily broken up and there’s another Samoan drop to send Sasha out to the apron. Nia pulls her up but gets caught in a modified Bank Statement with both of them on their knees, finally drawing the tap at 28:21.

Rating: B. Now why couldn’t they have done that with Bayley at some point? Anyway, this was the way you build a star up and Banks did just that to end the match. I can live with them pushing someone like Banks as a top star and her match with Bliss should have a lot of potential. Really strong performance from Jax here, who keeps a lot of momentum from winning four times in a row before losing partially due to exhaustion.

Post match Kurt Angle comes out to congratulate Sasha. Alexa is out as well but gets kicked in the face, allowing Sasha to hold up the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was the moving day show with four matches being confirmed for the pay per view, including the second biggest match on the card and two title matches. Now that being said, a lot of the good is dragged down by perhaps the worst segment I’ve ever seen.

That ranks up there with Katie Vick and Mae Young giving birth to a hand: they’re embarrassing and make you want to change the channel if someone happens to walk into the room. Take that out and this is a much better show, but don’t be surprised tomorrow if you hear about Ball “selling his brand on some stupid wrestling show”. But any publicity is good publicity, right Vince?

Results

Finn Balor/Hardy Boyz b. Cesaro/Sheamus/Elias Samson – Coup de Grace to Cesaro

Curtis Axel/Bo Dallas/Miz b. Heath Slater/Rhyno/Dean Ambrose – Rollup to Rhyno

Seth Rollins b. Curt Hawkins – Windup knee to the face

Neville b. Lince Dorado – Rings of Saturn

Sasha Banks won a gauntlet match last eliminating Nia Jax

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Smackdown
Date: October 22, 2015
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Booker T., Jerry Lawler, Rich Brennan

It’s the final show before Hell in a Cell and we might get some build towards the World Title match after it got little more than lip service on Monday. Aside from that I’d assume we’re in for a lot of video packages on the other big matches and maybe another cryptic promo from Bray, possibly including the prophecy he was supposed to give on Monday. Let’s get to it.

We open with Seth Rollins walking through the back when he runs into Kane. That would be Corporate Kane, not Demon Kane, Harlem Heat Kane or Kane the Undertaker. Kane has a match for him tonight and threatens violence if Rollins tries to run again. Rollins leaves and Kane finds Kofi and Big E., both of whom have XW bands on their arm. Those dastardly Dudleyz put Woods through a table on Monday and now there are just two unicorns. Kofi: “What do you see in front of you right now?” Kane: “Men with fingers on their heads.” Kane plays a tiny trombone for them and makes the two of them vs. Ambrose/Reigns for later.

Seth Rollins vs. Cesaro

Non-title. Cesaro takes him to the mat and rides the champ before gutwrenching him for two. Seth bails to the floor and we see Stardust and Ascension in the Stardust Section again. The champ grabs his belt and thinks about leaving but changes his mind and goes back inside for the running uppercuts instead. Another bailout attempt is broken up by Cesaro but Seth sends him into the steps as we take a break.

Back with Seth getting two off the springboard knee to the head. It doesn’t seem to have much effect though as Cesaro dropkicks him off the top and out to the floor, followed by the running uppercut against the barricade. Back in and Seth’s enziguri sets up the low superkick for two, only to charge into Swiss Death. The Crossface doesn’t last long and Rollins breaks up the apron superplex, followed by the Pedigree for the pin at 10:35.

Rating: C+. This was the entertaining match you would expect from these two when they’re given a bit of time. Cesaro loses of course because that’s all he knows how to do these days. The big thing I took away from this though was the Pedigree is so out of character for Rollins. He’s a high flying striker and the Pedigree really doesn’t fit that style. I know it’s going to be part of the HHH vs. Rollins feud, which is still going to start any day now right? Like any day.

The Stardust Section mocks Cesaro.

Miz promises that MizTV will be awesome, unlike Renee’s hair.

Breast cancer time.

Here’s Paige to address trying to reform PCB and being accused of attacking Natalya last week. Paige says she only cares about what Charlotte and Becky think of her so she’d like them to come out here for her explanation. Becky doesn’t care to hear it but Paige talks about being happy when the two of them made it to the main roster. That’s all well and good, but Becky doesn’t believe it after everything Paige has said and done.

Charlotte says she’s going to talk now. Paige had her moment over a year ago and all Charlotte wanted was her own moment to share with the two of them. It’s clear that Paige doesn’t respect Charlotte because it’s not all about Paige for once. Cue the Bellas with Nikki talking about her record and Brie saying this feels like Pretty Little Liars. Charlotte wants a fight but Paige says Nikki has to fight her first. Nikki accepts because she’s fearless or whatever.

Nikki Bella vs. Paige

Lawler says Paige has made it all about herself again as Nikki takes over with a facebuster to start. Booker brings up winning the TV Title and how it messed up Harlem Heat. I’m sure Stevie being out for five months had nothing to do with it either. Nikki sends Paige shoulder first into the post and we take an early break. Back the bad arm going around the post again as Booker thinks Nikki knows about pressure points.

Nikki mocks THIS IS MY HOUSE before slamming Paige down on the arm. Paige comes right back with a superkick for two but walks into a spinebuster for the same. The Rack Attack is broken up and Paige gets two off a fall away slam. Brie: “STAY FEARLESS!” We get what looked like a quick edit to get to an Alabama Slam from Nikki for another two. Nikki finally drills her with the forearm and the Rack Attack is good for the pin at 11:20.

Rating: B-. I’m no fan of the Bellas but this was actually good. They were trading big moves and it worked really well all things considered. It’s amazing how much more entertaining these women are when they cut out all the stupid cattiness and just beat each other up. I’m really hoping they don’t put the belt back on Nikki but this was one of her best matches to date.

It’s time for MizTV with guests Dolph Ziggler and Summer Rae, with Dolph coming out after a long recap of the story since Lana and Rusev’s engagement was announced. Miz brings up Ziggler being tossed aside by TMZ of all places despite having more relationships than almost anyone in WWE. Lana is a grown woman who can do whatever she wants and Summer was just trying to use Dolph (“Which I’m usually into”) but he wants nothing to do with it. Miz isn’t convinced so here’s Summer to make it more interesting.

She gets right to the point and suggests that she wants to propose to Dolph. Dolph: “I’m just not that into you bro.” Actually that’s not what she meant because she’s found a new man: Tyler Breeze, complete with NXT theme and entrance. After a quick NXT chant, Breeze says he needs no introduction but Dolph needs someone to bring him beyond 1985.

Tyler has been hearing of Dolph treating his Summer Rae of sunshine so poorly so he flew in from Monte Carlo. Ziggler calls him a whiny millennial but Breeze decks him (and rightfully so. That’s quite the insult.) and drives the still injured throat (still injured? It is?) into the buckle. Referees help Ziggler up so Breeze adds a Beauty Shot before posing for a picture with Summer.

Sheamus/King Barrett vs. Lucha Dragons

Rusev is at ringside. Cara starts with Barrett and kicks him to the mat before monkey flipping Kalisto into a 450 for two. That was cool. It’s back to Cara who gets shoved off the ropes and grabs his knee. The knee is fine enough for Sheamus to throw him into the barricade though and a powerslam gets two. Barrett’s pumphandle slam is broken up and Cara scores with an enziguri, allowing the tag off to Kalisto. A quick hurricanrana driver plants Sheamus but Rusev pushes Barrett out of the way of a suicide dive. Kalisto dives onto Barrett but the distraction sets up the Brogue Kick for the pin at 4:17.

Rating: C. There’s always room for a foreign heel stable. It’s like Jello. Besides it’s not like most of them are doing anything else so why not throw them together? It worked for Road Dogg and Billy Gunn so maybe it works here too. Good enough match here and it makes the monsters look good before they lose on Sunday for the sake of setting up a rubber match that no one wants to see.

Clip from Raw of Reigns and Ambrose cleaning house of the Wyatts.

Here’s Bo Dallas with something to say. He accepts the US Open Challenge for he and his fellow Bo-Mericans. His version of Bo say can you see is interrupted and it’s time for a match.

Ryback vs. Bo Dallas

Ryback throws him around to start but gets his throat snapped across the top rope as we see Owens watching in the back. Not that it matters as the Meat Hook and Shell Shock end this at 1:39. Nice job of rebuilding Ryback after the totally unnecessary loss on Monday.

Owens says Ryback is a lot of things Owens isn’t, including champion. Renee takes this as Owens being arrogant but Owens thinks it means he’s better than Ryback. This Sunday it’s the Kevin Owens show and he’s walking out Intercontinental Champion. Trust him.

Long video on Lesnar vs. Undertaker, which Booker compares to Ali vs. Frazier.

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. New Day

Non-title. Eden introduces this as a tag team match which will probably get her in hot water backstage. No Woods here due to being put through a table on Raw. It’s been far too long since someone was off TV to sell a short term injury like this. A loud NEW DAY ROCKS opens things up as Kofi does the unicorns pose. Ambrose headlocks Kofi to start and brings in Reigns for the jumping clothesline.

Big E. comes in for the hip swiveling and a shoulder to put Roman down. Reigns gets driven into the barricade and it’s time for a break. Back with Reigns breaking out of an abdominal stretch and making the tag off to Dean for some right hands. A quick Kofi trip puts New Day back in control though and it’s time for the rotating stomps. Big E. sounds like he’s on a microphone as he shouts encouragement.

Kofi loads up the Boom Drop, shouts HOPSCOTCH, does a little hopping, and lands on Dean for two. Ambrose makes the quick tag and it’s off to Roman to clean house. There’s an apron boot to Big E. and another one on the announcers’ table to Kofi. Ambrose comes back in with a missile dropkick to Big E. and the champs bail, only to run into the Dudleyz. Back in and Big E. takes a Doomsday Device, followed by a Superman Punch to Kofi. The spear puts Kingston away at 12:07.

Rating: C-. It’s really kind of amazing how much less entertaining the New Day is without Woods out there. They’re just a basic power and speed team and the HOPSCOTCH thing wasn’t enough to get me really into the match. Woods is the heart and soul of the team and I never would have guessed that when they got together in the first place.

Bray pops up on screen and says Roman can’t outrun his fear.

Overall Rating: D+. Totally standard go home episode of Smackdown as they’ve found the safest formula they can come up with and aren’t moving away from it until USA drags them to a new night. It was another two hours that came and went with the Divas match actually being the highlight of the show. Smackdown continues to be the definition of “just there” and I’m getting more and more indifferent to it every single week.

Results

Seth Rollins b. Cesaro – Pedigree

Nikki Bella b. Charlotte – Rack Attack

Sheamus/King Barrett b. Lucha Dragons – Brogue Kick to Kalisto

Ryback b. Bo Dallas – Shell Shock

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. New Day – Spear to Kingston

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 12, 2013
Location: Sleeptrain Arena, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show before Summerslam and things are finally in focus. The main story tonight is Punk getting a one on one shot with Heyman. As Punk said at Chicago Comic Con over the weekend, he’d be stupid to think Axel or Lesnar won’t get involved. Other than that we have a little bit of storytelling to go before we get to Sunday so let’s get to it.

No intro this week in a change of pace.

Daniel Bryan vs. Wade Barrett

Brad Maddox is guest referee for no apparent reason. A quick dropkick puts Barrett down and Daniel goes after the leg. Bryan hooks a quick dragon screw leg whip before cannonballing down ion the legs a few times. Barrett is sent to the floor with a baseball slide but Bryan misses the running knee off the apron and gets caught with a big boot to the face. Back in and Bryan is knocked to the floor with ease and sent into the steps.

Back in the sequel sees Barrett have a chinlock quickly broken. Bryan speeds things up and hits the running clothesline before knocking Barrett to the floor again. There’s the FLYING GOAT followed by a missile dropkick. The hard kicks to the chest have Wade in trouble but he ducks a big one and rolls Bryan up for a fast count at 5:24.

Rating: C-. So we built up Bryan for MONTHS, only to have him lose via a fast count to WADE BARRETT six days before Summerslam? This seems like more WWE overbooking which continues to drive me crazy. We flat out do not need this addition to the Cena vs. Bryan match but I’m sure it’ll wind up being focused on the McMahons because that’s what matters at the end of the day.

Randy Orton vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow ties his case to the post so Cody, on commentary here, can’t steal it. Damien grabs a quick headlock to start but gets dropped by an elbow to the jaw. Orton pounds down right hands in the corner and gets two off a snap suplex. A clothesline gets the same and we hit the chinlock. Nothing to see so far here. Damien comes back with a belly to back suplex but gets dropkicked off the apron as we take a break.

Back with Sandow escaping a superplex but charging into a boot in the corner. Orton goes back up top and positions himself so Sandow can shoves him out to the floor. Back in and we hit the chinlock followed by a knee to Orton’s ribs for two. There’s the Wind-Up Elbow for two more and we’re back in the chinlock.

Orton finally suplexes out of it and hits his clotheslines but Sandow avoids the powerslam and hits a running flip neckbreaker for a near fall. Orton sends him to the apron and hits the Elevated DDT but Sandow bails from the RKO. Damien sends him into the post for two and Cody goes after the briefcase, allowing for the RKO to connect for the pin at 13:45.

Rating: D+. STOP PUTTING THEM AGAINST EACH OTHER! My goodness this gets annoying to sit through as we have to wait for nearly 14 minutes until Sandow loses like he always does. Then a few months from now we’re supposed to buy him as a world champion because that’s what MITB does. The match wasn’t bad but it was just a waiting game until Sandow lost and there was never any doubt as to that being the finish. That’s why I can’t stand watching Damien matches: we’re just waiting for him to lose and there’s no point in watching anything else in the match.

There’s a battle royal for a US Title shot on Sunday.

Shield says they’re awesome and Ambrose will beat the winner of the battle royal on Sunday. He says he’s the best in the world and Cena just has a trophy. PLEASE let that be foreshadowing.

Video on Brock vs. Punk, the same one from Smackdown.

Punk says no one is afraid of Paul Heyman but Heyman is doing this for a reason. Paul hasn’t lost his mind or grown a set because it’s all a big chess game. The best is the best.

Natalya/Great Khali vs. Big E. Langston/AJ Lee

In an inset interview, Langston says no one has Dolph’s back now other than Kaitlyn and that’s not enough. The guys start but AJ wants to fight Khali. She slaps the big man but Natalya comes in to take over. Natalya drives AJ into the corner but gets rammed face first into the buckle to stop her cold. AJ hooks a cravate to no effect but a dropkick gets two. She shouts at Hornswoggle a lot but gets caught in the Sharpshooter as a result. Natalya starts letting go and AJ taps….but the referee doesn’t ring the bell. Natalya puts it on again and AJ taps at 3:45.

Rating: D. So horribly botched ending aside, this wasn’t much to see at all. The Khali/Horny/Natalya joke is done and wasn’t funny in the first place. I don’t get the point in having AJ tap here other than to set up a feud with Natalya for the title, even though her feud with Kaitlyn isn’t done yet.

Post match Langston goes after Horny but gets chopped down by Khali.

Here’s Vince McMahon to talk about what happened with Bryan vs. Barrett. He calls out Brad and asks him why he appointed himself guest referee. Brad says Bryan’s matches tend to get out of hands, so the fans would appreciate a referee capable of keeping things calm. The fast count wasn’t intentional and Maddox wants to be guest referee for Cena vs. Bryan at Summerslam. Vince asks if Brad would call it right down the line and Brad says of course he was. McMahon brings up all of insulting names you could call Bryan but Brad swears he won’t do it. Brad crosses his heart that he won’t cheat but here’s HHH to interrupt.

HHH thinks there should be a guest referee on Sunday to keep things calm and sane. However, it shouldn’t be Brad Maddox. The guest referee should of course be HHH himself. There’s a Pedigree to Maddox and Vince leaves before he has to get one himself. What this adds to the main event on Sunday isn’t clear but I’m sure Vince and HHH can explain it to us.

Video on Kane vs. Bray Wyatt so far.

Kane vs. Titus O’Neil

Kane slugs him down to start and takes Titus into the corner for more punishment. A side slam puts O’Neil down and the chokeslam is good for the pin at 1:51. Total squash.

Post match here are the Wyatts but when the lights come back on, Kane is on the stage. He lights the corners up and Bray drops to his knees and smiles.

The Bellas look at a clip of Eva Marie (from Total Divas) making fun of Natalya. They talk about how awesome they are when Natalya comes up. She challenges Brie to a match at Summerslam and here’s Eva Marie to respond to an insult. The Funkadactyls come in and we have a six Diva tag on Sunday. Joy.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi takes over to start and pounds down right hands in the corner for two. He loads up the spinning cross body out of the corner but Del Rio knocks him into the Tree of Woe. The reverse superplex is good for two for Alberto and it’s off to a hard chinlock. Kofi comes back with a horrible looking dropkick and the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise misses.

Del Rio gets two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but gets caught in the SOS for two more. Another spin kick misses and Del Rio rolls to the floor, only to be cradled for two back inside. In an AWESOME counter, Del Rio catches the springboard cross body in a gutbuster. The cross armbreaker is good for the submission from Kofi at 6:10.

Rating: C+. This took awhile to get going but it picked WAY up at the end. Del Rio badly needed this win but at the same time his stock is way down after the losses last week. At least he beat Kofi, who is now 1-2 after his return from a few weeks ago. I’m sure he’ll be IC Champion in a few weeks.

Christian looks at a video of his career and says he’ll win on Sunday.

Colter and the Real Americans say they want to see California split off from America to make the country a better place.

Real Americans vs. Usos

Jey starts with Cesaro and the Usos look like they have taped up feet. Off to Swagger for a high/low for two on Jey before driving him into the corner. The Vader Bomb crushes Jey and Cesaro jumps over Jack’s shoulders for a double stomp, getting two. Jey comes back with some uppercuts but Swagger gets the tag before a sunset flip can cover Cesaro. Jack takes him down with a double chicken wing and it’s back to Cesaro.

There’s the standing chinlock but Jey takes him into the corner to break it up. Double tag brings in Jimmy to face Swagger as everything breaks down. The Usos hit stereo over the top rope dives to take the Real Americans out but Cesaro tries to break up the Superfly. The distraction is broken up and Jey makes a blind tag so he can roll up Swagger for the pin at 4:55.

Rating: C. Nice match here with the Usos continuing to look awesome. I’m still not sure why the Usos never got a title shot as they would be good transitional champions before dropping them to some strong team, ala Strike Force back in 1988. The match was entertaining though and that’s all it needed to be.

It’s time for MizTV with Cena and Bryan. Miz brings both guys down and Cena gets right to the point: he’s the WWE Champion and Bryan wants to be. Cena respects him and Bryan is going to put up a heck of a fight on Sunday. Miz tries to stir the pot by saying Cena is implying Bryan loses Sunday, but Bryan will have none of it. He goes after Cena for saying Bryan is going to lose and points out the fans booing Cena a lot of the time. Bryan talks about Cena being more style than substance and not being in this business for the wrestling.

Bryan says his shirt is a parody of Cena’s because Cena is a parody of wrestling. He doesn’t want to be a parody though but rather to be WWE Champion because it means he’s the best in the world. Cena takes off his shirt and is ready to go but stops himself. Cena says he’s out here for the same reason Bryan is out here: because they believe in Daniel Bryan. Bryan wants to be out here and prove that he believes in the fans as much as they believe in him.

That’s what WWE is about: picking your favorite wrestler and cheering them all the way to the end. Saying these are just shirts is like saying the American flag is just a cloth; it’s about what it means. Cena is loyal to the fans no matter what and he is not a parody. People have come here before and said Cena needs to go and Five Moves of Doom and all that jazz. Bryan may not be smart but he’s not deaf. Cena has shown up every day for the last twelve years and he’s out here every night for the fans and for the Make-A-Wish kids who say Never Give Up because Cena wears it on a t-shirt.

He’s proud of what he’s become: a man who has wrestled around the world for twelve years and has fought the biggest names in wrestling while holding the WWE Championship. So please think of him as a joke on Sunday because he’s beaten everyone who has thought of him like that: everyone from HHH to HBK to Orton to CM Punk to Rock. Bryan says he talks about those guys like they’re better than he is. Cena says Bryan is on his way but doesn’t belong there yet. If Bryan wants respect, earn it on Sunday. Bryan says that sums it up: Cena doesn’t respect him and isn’t treating him like a serious threat.

This is just another big title match for Cena but this is the biggest match of Bryan’s life. Bryan talks about a custom he learned in Japan: to fire someone up for a match they slap the other competitor in the face. He wishes he could do that to Cena but he can’t because Cena isn’t a wrestler and doesn’t deserve it. Cena says go ahead and slap him but slaps Bryan first. He says to slap him….but here’s HHH to kill the segment dead. Before he says anything, here’s Orton as well to hold up the case to end it. Great segment, stupid overbooking.

It’s time for a dance off between R-Truth and Fandango. Both guys dance and Fandango jumps Truth, only to be knocked to the floor where he pronounces his name. No match.

Heyman is getting ready but is having second thoughts about having the match.

Battle Royal

Rob Van Dam, Brodus Clay, Tensai, Heath Slater, Drew McIntyre, Jinder Mahal, Ryback, Titus O’Neil, Jey Uso, Darren Young, Jimmy Uso, Antonio Cesaro, Justin Gabriel, Kofi Kingston, Great Khali, Jack Swagger, R-Truth, Wade Barrett, Mark Henry, Fandango

The winner gets a shot at Dean Ambrose and the US Title on Sunday’s preshow. I can’t tell who all is in there but Ryback throws out Gabriel and Young before running over Tensai for an elimination. Jimmy Uso is tossed by the Band as things slow down a lot. The fans chant for Sexual Chocolate as we have a lot of standing around doing nothing. Kofi nearly puts Mahal out as the match is dragging a lot. There’s almost nothing talk about in battle royals given how little happens most of the time.

R-Truth puts on Fandango but he comes back in and dumps R-Truth. Van Dam throws Fandango out and the ring is still way too full as we take a break. Back with far fewer people in the ring. The Real Americans put out Jey Uso before working on Mark Henry. We still have Kofi, Barrett, Ryback, Titus, RVD, the Real Americans and Henry. Van Dam clotheslines Titus out and we’re down to seven. Kofi is sent to the apron by Swagger but uses Cesaro to pull himself back in with a cool spot. Think of it as skinning the Cesaro. Not that it matters as Jack puts him out immediately thereafter.

RVD runs over the Real Americans with kick after kick but Ryback hits the Meat Hook to knock Rob out cold. The Real Americans pick up Henry but he shoves them away and knocks both guys out to get us to four. Henry picks up the pace and throws Barrett out. Rob is down but not out in the corner so the bulls go at it. Henry gets Ryback onto the apron where a kick from Ryback and a charge from Henry puts him out. Down to two and the fans go NUTS. Rob is crushed into the corner but comes back with a grea tkick. He goes up top but gets crotched to the apron, only to low bridge Henry out to win at 13:27.

Rating: C. This was more entertaining than mots battle royals but it still wasn’t all that great. Van Dam and Henry were the only real options in there so it was nice that the two of them were the last guys out there. Putting Ambrose over Van Dam on Sunday is a good rub for the champion, which is what Rob should be around for anymore. Nice stuff here in the real main event.

Post match Henry respects Van Dam….but here comes Shield. They surround the ring as Henry gets back in. Cue the returning Big Show to make the save. The camera cuts away from Rollins who clearly mouths “Oh Sh…..”. Shield bails, presumably setting up a tag match with the big guys vs. Show/Henry on Sunday.

Here’s Heyman for his fight with Punk. Heyman is in a shirt, vest and gloves. He’s in pants too if that wasn’t clear. Heyman says Punk’s fans are calling for their hero. He doesn’t blame Punk for what happened but rather all of the fans. Punk used to live for Heyman’s blessing but now he lives for the fans. Heyman admits this is a trap but he had a co-conspirator. He brings out Brock and shows him a video package of Lesnar’s history with Punk.

Here’s Heyman’s trap: he’ll fight Punk right here and now but it’s 2-1 instead of one on one. All Punk has to do is play the hero, which is the stupidest thing he could do. Punk has an option: either play the hero tonight or disappoint everyone in the arena here tonight. Cue Punk but instead he comes from behind and blasts Lesnar in the face with a TV camera. A HARD shot to the back has Lesnar in trouble and Heyman is panicking.

Punk hits a suicide dive to put Lesnar down before grabbing a chair. Punk appears to be limping a bit. A series of chair shots puts Lesnar down and it’s just Punk vs. Paul now. Heyman: “OH MY GOD!” Punk chases Lesnar to the back but has to stop an invading Curtis Axel. Punk rams him into the video screen and hits the GTS on the stage before staring down at Lesnar to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a back and forth show all night. The earlier stuff really bored me but later on things picked WAY up as we started focusing on Sunday. HHH being added to the main event does NOTHING for me but it’s all about Vince vs. HHH at the end of the day so what are you supposed to expect? If you cut an hour or so off this show, it’s WAY better but that’s how WWE works today. Good stuff here, but I could easily see if different people see it completely differently.

Results

Wade Barrett b. Daniel Bryan – Rollup

Randy Orton b. Damien Sandow – RKO

Great Khali/Natalya b. AJ Lee/Big E. Langston – Sharpshooter to AJ

Kane b. Titus O’Neil – Chokeslam

Usos b. Real Americans – Rollup to Swagger

Rob Van Dam won a battle royal last eliminating Mark Henry

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