Orange Cassidy Is Doing Something Or Whatever Who Knows???
Date: April 6, 2019
Location: White Eagle Hall, Jersey City, New Jersey
Commentators: Denver Colorado, Sarah Shockey

I think it’s safe to say that this is one of the most unique titles I’ve ever seen. This is a replacement show from Wrestlemania weekend with a one off card to replace the Dragon Gate show after the promotion fell through. It feels like a bunch of shows that I’ve seen from the weekend but Cassidy is entertaining enough on his own. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Orange Cassidy to start things off and I don’t know if I’ve ever heard him talk. Cassidy slowly introduces himself and asks a fan at the bar to do the ring announcing. The fan gets in, is told that he’s the wrong guy, and the right one gets in. Cassidy can’t find the match card, which Sarah says is so indy wrestling. The announcer tells Cassidy to hold his jacket, which Cassidy throws at the ropes. As luck would have it, the guy just happens to be former Chikara ring announcer Gavin Loudspeaker. It’s like that time with Santino Marella being pulled out of the crowd. You never know how lucky you can get.

Allie Kat vs. Kris Statlander vs. Saraya Knight vs. Shotzi Blackheart

Statlander is like an old friend at this point. This is a Swamp Monster lumberjack elimination match and Saraya is better known as Paige’s mom. Naturally the lumberjacks are in swamp monster gear as the commentators rant about how worthless it is to be trending. The fans are behind Kat with the MEOW chants and she lays down, asking Saraya to pat her belly because it’s an honor to be in the ring with her.

Saraya kicks her instead and does the same to a concerned Kris. A slap to a swamp monster does very little as the announcers try to figure out why the monsters aren’t sending Kris and Allie back in. Saraya takes Shotzi to the top, punches her low, and throws them onto the monsters. Kris rolls Saraya up for two and is asked what the f*** she is doing. Saraya: “You’re a f****** alien, a f****** wolf and a f****** cat. Are you f****** kidding me?”

That earns her a triple teaming, which Sarah thinks is the spinach to her Popeye. A running forearm in the corner sets up a triple pin to get rid of Saraya at 3:13. Crowd: “BREXIT!” We’re down to three and Kris uses mind control to make the other two collide with each other. Everyone winds up outside and the swamp monsters continue to just stand around. Shotzi gets on the apron, tries a running start, and drops to her knee to punch Kris.

The monsters pick Shotzi up and walk her around so she can kick Shotzi in the face as commentary is ripping this apart (in a nice way). A running dive off the apron takes Allie and Kris down as the fans want to see something. Back in and Shotzi hits an enziguri on Kris (who is taking a beating here), followed by a top rope backsplash for the elimination at 7:04. We’re down to Allie vs. Shotzi, with the two of them colliding in the corner.

They forearm it out until Allie ties her in the ropes to claw at Shotzi’s chest. Allie teases a suicide dive but decides that she’s scared and stops. Crowd: “SCAREDY CAT!” She tries it again and slowly crawls onto the arms of the monsters, which the crowd declares PAWSOME. Back in and Shotzi hits a running splash in the corner and a DDT right back out of the corner gets two. The top rope backsplash misses though and Allie hits a piledriver for the pin at 11:11.

Rating: C. Oh this is going to be a long night and that’s a good thing. This was a lot of goofy fun, which is exactly what this show is supposed to be. You can’t have the most serious show in the world under these circumstances so don’t waste your time trying. Do something different and have a good time, which is what happened here. Except for Saraya, who seems rather angry about everything.

Bryce Remsburg gets a big introduction, as he should.

Logan Easton LaRoux vs. Chris Brookes

This is 7/13 falls and LaRoux is a rich guy. Brookes kicks him low for the DQ at 10 seconds. The second fall begins and Brookes’ partner Kid Lykos comes in for another low blow and the second DQ at 42 seconds. Brookes grabs something like an Octopus Hold for the tap at 1:24, which Sarah says is treating him Logan Easton LaRoux-edly.

Logan chops away (Sarah: “Trading chops like Pogs.”) before grabbing a sunset flip but Brookes sits down on it for the pin….and then Logan gets the flip for the pin….and then Brookes reverses for another pin….and then they alternate until it’s 6-6 (with one two count in the middle to freak the fans out) at 2:59. Logan hits a dropkick and a running kick in the corner sets up a suplex for two. Brookes is right back with a middle rope backsplash to the standing Logan for two as the announcers think it should be 6-5.

With Brookes caught in something like an abdominal stretch, Lykos puts a mask on Remsburg to blind him. Brookes’ low blow is blocked and Logan hits an enziguri for no count. Lykos comes in to cheat but gets kicked low as Remsburg is still fighting with the mask. As the mask comes off, Brookes feigns having been kicked low but Remsburg doesn’t buy it and throws the mask at Lykos. To keep the pace up, Brookes grabs a small package for the final pin at 6:55.

Rating: C+. What am I even supposed to say to this one? This was another very entertaining match as they’re not even trying to do anything serious on this show. That was the case again here and that pinfall exchange sequence was great stuff. They didn’t bother with anything stupid that would take too much time and just went with the fun idea instead. I’m wanting to see what they do next and that’s a nice feeling.

Tony Deppen vs. Lucky 13 vs. Jigsaw vs. Air Wolf vs. Dan Champion vs. Jake Atlas vs. Sonny Defarge

The winner gets a $16.34 Friendly’s gift card. At the same time, it is announced as the 3^rd Annual Jansport Backpack Orange Cassidy Invitational Scramble, meaning the announcers make Jansport jokes throughout the entrances. Champion gets sextuple dropkicked to the floor as the announcers laugh about some of the novelty Jansport products available. Deppen spins out of a headscissors attempt but gets taken down by a very springboardy wristdrag. Multiple F bombs are dropped as Atlas spins around him and cartwheels into a standoff.

Wolf and Jigsaw come back in for the stereo submission attempts but stop to slap each other. Jigsaw is sent outside and Defarge takes his place to kick Wolf outside. 13 comes in and kicks Defarge to set up moonsault knees to the chest. Defarge is back up with a spinning kick to the chest in the corner with Champion having to make the save. Champion backdrops 13 over the top for a messy DDT onto Defarge onto the apron, followed by a Nightmare Pendulum into a backbreaker.

A heck of a TKO plants 13 again and it’s a suplex to Jigsaw for a bonus. Atlas and Wolf get double chokeslammed but Deppen pulls Champion outside. Deppen hits a VERY hard suicide dive onto Defarge and Jigsaw, followed by 13 with a corkscrew moonsault onto everyone. Atlas isn’t being outdone and hits a springboard spinning dive of his own. Champion, the biggest guy in the match, dives onto everyone as well and that’s enough to even get him Champion cheered.

Back in and Champion powerbombs Atlas for two with Jigsaw making the save. Deppen gets suplexed for two but 13 comes off the top with a backsplash for another save. Atlas makes his own save and cartwheels into a cutter on Deppen, followed by a cartwheel on the top into a DDT for two more. Wolf makes the save this time and knees Atlas in the face. This time it’s Defarge making a save and clotheslining the heck out of Wolf.

Champion breaks that up and poses at Defarge with Deppen breaking that up for some posing of his own. Champion and Defarge have had it with Deppen and throw him to the floor, but an attempt to the same to Jigsaw is blocked. The Jig and Tonic (over the back kneeling piledriver) finishes Defarge at 11:54.

Rating: B-. In a way, this was the least interesting match of the night as it felt like it could have been on any given indy show this weekend. Actually that’s because there was a scramble in the same building the night before, featuring a group kick to the biggest guy to start and Atlas as one of the wrestlers. This was fun, but when they literally did something that similar the night before, it loses some effect.

Gavin talks about how awesome Wrestlemania will be, or as he calls it, Fastlane Part II.

Session Moth Martina vs. Nate Webb

This is the It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere Drunken Match, meaning that every thirty seconds, the wrestlers have to chug a beer. Webb gets a big entrance and sings his own theme, complete with playing Remsburg’s leg like a guitar. Webb even starts drinking on his way to the ring, seemingly without much of a tolerance. Remsburg starts dancing and is already the biggest star of the night.

Martina brings in even more beer and starts dancing in front of Remsburg as I don’t know if I’m old enough for this show. Remsburg: “God help us all. RING THE BELL!” They slug it out to start with Webb getting the better of things and a confused Martina swinging at Remsburg. Hang on though as we need to stop for the required beer. They stagger around and forearm each other with Martina slapping at Remsburg some more. And now, more beer. Sarah: “Why couldn’t this be a Gatorade chugging competition???”

They hit the ropes and collapse on their faces, meaning it’s time for another beer. Martina gets fired up as Webb goes outside, leaving her to….run the ropes to the point of exhaustion. Beer time ensues again and Martina falls down again. Webb brings in some chairs and they sit down for another beer. Martina gets knocked out of the chair but gets back up just in time for the next beer. A knee to Webb’s face sets up a half crab but they manage to drink even in the hold.

Webb is smart enough to spit his into Martina’s face for the break, leaving Martina to slam him down. Martina’s top rope Codebreaker gets two and of course, another beer. Webb hits a half nelson faceplant but Martina is up to spit beer in his face. As Martina loads up a superplex, they are still able to get some beers in. Martina plants him for two and they’re already needing to drink again. A double clothesline gives us a double pin at 7:41.

Rating: D-. And I hesitate to call this anything close to wrestling. This one completely missed for me, though that might be because I don’t drink so this is all completely foreign. It was the same joke over and over again and it didn’t really change anything in the, ahem, match. It didn’t work watching it, though the fans seemed to like it live, which seems to be the point.

And now, a dodge ball competition! There are ten people here (MJF with his scarf around his head is glorious) and I have a feeling a ten person tag is about to break out. We need captains to pick teams though so here are Veda Scott and Faye Jackson. It’s time for a quick draft with the following lineups:

Blue: Faye Jackson/Wheeler Yuta/Terra Calaway/Arik Royal/Red Eagle

Red: Veda Scott/Jeff Cannonball/Veda Scott/Daniel Makabe/Sage Phillips

MJF isn’t picked, with Jackson dropping a nice F bomb before picking Eagle to complete her team. Therefore, MJF grabs both dodge balls and leaves, making himself the most entertaining man on the show all over again. Since there are no dodge balls, let’s have a mixed tag! The fans boo and start a WRESTLING SUCKS chant. Denver: “WRESTLING FANS ARE STUPID!”

Team Blue vs. Team Red

Blue: Arik Royal/Faye Jackson/Red Eagle/Terra Calaway/Wheeler Yuta

Red: Daniel Makabe/Jeff Cannonball/Sage Phillips/Shazza McKenzie/Veda Scott

Fans: “DODGE BALL IS REAL!” The rather large Cannonball (who looks like King Kong Bundy’s son) and Calaway start things off and slug it out, with Denver saying that these two are engaged. Well that’s rather appropriate. Cannonball gets knocked down and sits in the corner so Calaway asks for a hug. That’s not happening as Cannonball ducks the hug and chops her.

Yuta comes in and rolls over Shazza, setting up a loud dropkick. It’s off to Sage, as Sarah seems to enjoy the mesh jerseys. Royal hits a claw slam as the lack of tags is strong here. Eagle dropkicks Makabe to the floor and it’s Scott coming in to take him down, only to get scared off by Jackson. Some running hip attacks from Faye crush Veda in the corner but a rake to the eyes gets Veda out of trouble.

With an assist from the ref, Veda walks the rope (Veda to ref: “Thank you!”) and dives onto everyone, triggering the parade of dives until the rather large Royal hits one of his own. Makabe cuts off Yuta’s dive with an abdominal stretch of all things but Terra pulls out a dodge ball for the save, triggering another chant.

Yuta grabs it and tosses it at the pile, followed by a big dive. Sarah: “Yuta utilized it to perfection!” Crowd: “STUPID SEXY YUTA!” Even Jackson hits a dive of her own but Cannonball can’t get over the top. Instead he hits the rope and gets Crossfaced by Terra. Cannonball: “I WANT TO DIVE!” Blue comes in for a quintuple submission at 9:43.

Rating: C. It was fun but it felt a bit like the scramble, meaning it wasn’t quite as entertaining as it could have been. I’ve seen a lot of matches like this before and it felt like it was following a formula for this style. The dodge ball stuff was entertaining, though that might have been MJF.

A fan wins…..a piece of swamp monster!

Gavin is glad we had a wrestling match because Ronda Rousey thinks dodge ball is BS.

And now, Teddy Hart with his cat, to the Reading Rainbow theme. The fans seem to be more interested in the cat. Teddy says that Mr. Velvet (the cat if that isn’t clear) has a black belt in making people smile. He talks about being divorced twice and being in jail twice but he wanted to come to Wrestlemania weekend.

This isn’t just a WWE event because it’s about all kinds of wrestling. He’s liking this place too because the crowd is intelligent and knows that wrestling is everything from dodge ball to him carrying a cat. Teddy talks about how he wants to put smiles on faces and wrestling isn’t about watching a screen, Vince McMahon cutting a promo and people in the back writing a script. He puts over Orange Cassidy and asks him to come out here, so here’s Orange to meet Mr. Velvet. Orange picks up the cat so Teddy can wrap a scarf around him. Now for the book: If I Was A Kitty.

Teddy gets one page (work with me here) in and gets cut off by a GCW chant. A line in the book says that if Teddy was a cat, his nose would be crinkly. Fans: “HOLY S***!” Teddy doesn’t quite know how to handle that a moonsault gets less of a reaction than “my nose would be crinkly.” Teddy: “Maybe less is more.” He finishes the book, which he admits he memorized because he can’t read. That’s one of the most bizarre moments I’ve ever seen and I think they’ve got something here. Just…..this. And then Teddy throws his cat in the air and catches it for the gasp of the night.

Shinjiro Otani vs. Jonathan Gresham

This is announced as a wrestling match, which is booed out of the building. A handshake starts us off and Otani grabs the arm. Gresham spins out without much trouble and Otani has to applaud. Another counter sequence gives us a second standoff but Gresham makes the mistake of chopping in the corner. Gresham takes him down a few times and starts kicking at the arm to take over. With the left arm in trouble, Gresham starts in on the right arm so Otani rolls away for a breather.

Otani can’t slam his way out of an armbar and the fans are rather impressed by that one. A legsweep takes Gresham down and it’s the signature facewash in the corner. The fans are rather pleased so we see it again, with Otani kicking his second in the face again as well. Actually we’ll make it three times for a bonus. Gresham trips him into the corner though and nails a running dropkick. That just ticks Otani off so he forearms Gresham in the face over and over. The slugout goes to Otani until a dragon suplex gives him two. A helicopter bomb finishes Gresham at 7:53.

Rating: B-. It was cool to see a legend like Otani here, even though he feels like he got lost and wound up on a show like this. You had to have a wrestling match here and putting someone like Gresham in there was the best idea they had. Otani was one of the best things about the show so far, mainly because he was something different. This was a rather solid match and the kind of thing the show needed.

Respect is shown post match.

Chuck Taylor vs. Trent?

One minute time limit. Chuck throws a shirt at him and they shove each other around as we’re halfway done. They lock up and the bell rings for the time limit at 1:03. Fans: “MATCH OF THE YEAR!”

Hang on though as we’re getting five more seconds.

Chuck Taylor vs. Trent?

Trent rolls him up for the pin at four seconds.

Post match Chuck yells at Remsburg, who snaps off a headscissors. Remsburg and Trent do the big hug, which is NOT cool with Chuck. They tease a fight and then hug, with Sarah being very pleased.

Nick Gage vs. Ultramantis Black

Gage’s GCW World Title isn’t on the line and this is a Yuletide Death Match because that’s all Gage can be asked to do. A bunch of wrestlers who haven’t been on the show and Air Wolf bring in all kinds of Christmas decorations/various weapons as I have a bad feeling about this one. Black runs him over and Gage gets annoyed at getting caught in the Christmas tree wrapped in barbed wire.

A running dropkick sends Black through the barbed wire board, allowing us to see his Christmas tattoos and mask. Black is tied up in the wire but manages to get untied and low bridge Gage to the floor. Gage throws a chair at his leg to break up a dive off the apron, followed by a whip through some chairs. Another chair is thrown at Black’s head and Gage takes another barbed wire board and drops it wire first on Black.

Somehow Black is right back with a DDT onto a chair but Gage posts him. They get back in with Black getting his knees up to block a middle rope elbow. A full nelson slam onto the barbed wire tree gives Black two and it’s time for the tacks. Of course Gage is right back up to DDT him onto the tacks for two, with the fans wanting the referee dead.

Now the middle rope elbow onto the tree onto Black connects, followed by a swinging neckbreaker onto the tacks. Gage grabs a pair of chairs and puts a board covered in ornaments between them. The superplex through them makes Black cringe and gets two. Black’s comeback goes nowhere and Gage hits a chokebreaker for the pin at 13:10.

Rating: D. I really can’t stand this kind of “wrestling” and I can’t stand Gage even more so this wasn’t exactly my favorite thing in the world. Gage never loses in these things so it wasn’t like there was much doubt. This has never been my style and Gage continues to feel like a lost relic from 2002 indy wrestling, making this pretty easily my least favorite thing on the show.

Post match MJF comes in to chair Gage in the head because I don’t like him enough yet. MJF isn’t happy about not being picked first or about this being fake HAHA nonsense. He’s the only real wrestler in the ring but here’s Cassidy to interrupt. MJF: “ARE YOU A F****** IDIOT???” He explains the idea of a sneak attack so Cassidy blows orange juice in his face. Gage is back up for another chokebreaker and Black lays MJF out as well. Gage and Black put on sunglasses of their own and they exchange hand signals. Cassidy says we can go home now to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The Jim Cornette fan in me is appalled but I had a great time watching this one. This show made no secrets about what they were going for and they ran with it. There are no long term stories here and it’s just a bunch of people throwing together a show for the sake of throwing together a show. The jokes were funny, the atmosphere was great and I was laughing more than once as I wanted to see what they came up with next. As a wrestling show it’s a nightmare but as two hours and forty five minutes of entertainment, it was a blast. Oh and Sarah Shockey is the most adorable commentator ever.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Battle Riot II
Date: April 5, 2019
Location: Melrose Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Rich Bocchini, Jim Cornette

This is the big live Wrestlemania weekend show and that means we have a major battle royal, which worked well enough last year. I’m not sure what to expect this year as they’ve barely announced any stories for the match, though we do know a good chunk of the lineup. The winner gets a title match at any point they want so at least there’s a big prize. Let’s get to it.

Note that I actually watch this show regularly so for once I know what’s going on. For those of you who are new, I’ll mention names and characters where they matter.

We open with a list of most of the people in the match. It worked for the old Royal Rumbles so this is fine.

The announcers run down the card, which includes a pair of title matches to go along with Battle Riot.

Middleweight Title: Teddy Hart vs. Ace Austin

Austin is challenging and this could be good as the Harts are crazy popular around here. The Dynasty (MJF, Alexander Hammerstone and Richard Holliday) is watching from ringside. As Cornette rants about travel in New York, we start with the guys shoving each other and slowly slugging it out. A rather early Project Ciampa gives Hart the first big advantage with Austin rolling out to the floor. An overhead belly to belly on the floor makes it even worse for Austin and the springboard moonsault off the barricade keeps Austin down. Austin gets crotched against the post and Teddy heads over to steal some of the Dynasty’s champagne.

Of course it goes into MJF’s face and it’s Austin coming back with a kick to the face from the apron. Back in and Austin kicks him in the head a few times before slamming him head first into the mat. Austin takes way too long coming off the top and gets crotched, though he’s fine enough to do the same thing to Hart to block the super Canadian Destroyer. A spinning kick to the face drops Hart again and a spinning top rope Fameasser gets two. Austin gets knocked off the top again though and it’s a super Canadian Destroyer into a regular Canadian Destroyer to retain the title at 6:54.

Rating: C+. Hart wasn’t exactly sweating here, which is kind of annoying as I like Austin a lot and could see him going somewhere. That being said, this wasn’t the place for some big, epic title defense so going with the quick match here with Hart hitting his usual stuff and winning definitively in the end was fine.

Post match Hart rhymes about Alexander Hammerstone, in red, seeing Ted, meaning he’ll be dead. He shoves Richard Holliday but gets a champagne bottle to the head.

Minoru Tanaka vs. Myron Reed

Reed has Rich Swann with him as they continue to claim MLW is treating them unfairly. Tanaka is a big star in Japan and the current GHC Junior Heavyweight Champion. Reed bails straight to the floor to start where Swann offers some advice. Back in and Tanaka works on the arm before going with a standard dropkick to keep Reed in trouble. Swann’s cheap shot from the floor lets Reed score with an enziguri though and we take a break.

We come back with Tanaka’s missile dropkick putting Reed in trouble again as Cornette goes over the history of Japanese wrestling. Reed uses the rope to get out of the cross armbreaker and Stuns his way out of a suplex. A slingshot cutter gives Reed two more but Tanaka rolls him up into a cradle for the pin at 8:48.

Rating: C. Nice little match here with Tanaka looking very good and polished as you would have expected him to. He’s the kind of import that works very well on a special show like this. Reed’s jumping cutters always look great and he got in some offense against the much more polished name.

Video on Contra, a terrorist style stable who have looked awesome in limited appearances.

Promociones Dorado (major heel stable run by Salina de la Renta, an awesome witchy manager) draw their Battle Riot numbers with Salina not being happy with how long it takes. The guys seem pleased when Sami Callihan comes in demanding his money from Salina. He’ll see them tonight. As they leave, Mance Warner (feuding with the group) comes in and steals one of the good numbers, replacing it with a worse one.

We recap Jimmy Havoc vs. Tom Lawlor. Havoc was the last man to defeat him in MLW and now Jimmy is back to win the World Title.

Brian Pillman Jr. is happy with his number when Salina comes in and tries to buy it. Pillman would rather talk about her chest and Salina gives up.

MLW World Title: Jimmy Havoc vs. Tom Lawlor

Lawlor (a former UFC fighter) is defending and this is a street fight. Havoc jumps him before the bell and we lose a camera but Lawlor snaps off a release German suplex to take over. A Death Valley Driver out of the corner stops Lawlor and Havoc pelts a chair at him for two. It’s time to bring in a table (a board in this case) with Lawlor hitting him in the head and bridging the table between the ring and the barricade.

Some kicks to the chest have Havoc in trouble but he avoids a chair and takes Lawlor down again. The chair gets thrown at Lawlor’s head again but hang on as Havoc needs to yell at the fans, allowing Lawlor to send him into the table. They steal a horn from the crowd and Cornette gets in a few horny jokes. More tables and another chair are sent inside but Lawlor grabs a pumphandle suplex.

A charge hits chair though and Havoc gets two off a DDT. Havoc throws in four chairs and bridges a table between them as Cornette has just about had it with the hardcore stuff. Two more chairs are sets up on top of the table but a hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb through everything for two. Lawlor sets up a table in a corner but gets sent to the floor before he can use it. Havoc finds a staple gun and that’s just too much for Cornette, especially as it’s used to break up a Figure Four on the floor.

Lawlor is busted open and Havoc licks the blood off, setting up another staple into the head. The referee gets beaten down and there’s a Death Valley Driver through the door for no count. A belly to back faceplant onto some chairs gets a very delayed two from a fresh referee. With nothing else working, Lawlor knees a chair into Havoc’s head twice in a row to retain at 13:13.

Rating: C-. As is usually the case with hardcore matches, your individual mileage may vary. I’m more in the Cornette camp, though he was the completely wrong choice to call something like this because he can’t stand this kind of thing because it’s not wrestling. Now to be fair I’m really not a fan of the staple gun and licking the blood and all that stuff. It comes off like it’s all Havoc knows how to do and with the story not exactly being a violent one, it felt out of place.

Salina tries to buy a rookie’s number but that isn’t happening. Her goons come in and steal it instead.

Video on last year’s Battle Riot.

The announcers preview the match.

Battle Riot

40 man Royal Rumble (with pin/submission/over the top eliminations) with one minute intervals and the winner gets a World Title shot whenever they want. Also, no commercials for a nice bonus. Maxwell Jacob Friedman is in at #1 and says he isn’t shaking because the other thirty nine men in the back are shaking in their own boots. Dan Severn (of Dan Severn fame) is in at #2 and MJF panics in a hurry. The eye poke doesn’t work to start and it’s a belly to belly suplex to send MJF flying.

Hijo de LA Park is in at #3 as the intervals are already going fast. A dropkick puts Severn down but he’s back up to suplex a gyrating Hijo. Air Wolf is in at #4 and it’s a springboard armdrag to take Hijo down as the announcers talk about Teddy Hart being sent to the hospital, meaning he’s out of the match. Severn gets MJF into the corner and it’s Minoru Tanaka in at #5.

We get a weird yet cool slugout between Severn and Tanaka until Jordan Oliver (newcomer) is in at #6. With no one doing anything, Rey Fenix is in at #7 as they need to get rid of a few people. A rolling dropkick hits Hijo and the multiple springs springboard wristdrag have Wolf in trouble. Severn and Tanaka team up on MJF and it’s Pentagon in at #8. Kicking and chopping go around the ring and it’s a standoff with Fenix.

Avalanche (an Austrian from WXW) is in at #9 and Oliver’s high crossbody bounces off of his chest. Well you deserve that if you try to hit someone named Avalanche. MJF offers him money and that seems to be a business deal as Tanaka is on the floor but not eliminated. MJF does manage to get rid of Fenix for the first elimination so Pentagon gives him a beating. Ace Romero (400lbs) is in at #10, giving us MJF, Severn, Hijo, Wolf, Tanaka, Oliver, Pentagon, Avalanche and Romero at the moment. A Pounce eliminates Oliver and Hijo eliminates Pentagon in an upset.

Ken Kerbis (the newcomer who Salina tried to buy earlier) is in at #11 and it’s Romero and Avalanche doing the big man showdown. As Severn and Tanaka hook holds on MJF at the same time, Leo Brien is in at #12. Tanaka gets rid of Severn to a chorus of booing as Severn (61) looked good for about twelve minutes. Michael Patrick (Brien’s partner) is in at #13 but they can’t get rid of Avalanche. Tanaka gets rid of Brien and it’s Gringo Loco in at #14. A top rope cutter hits Romero as the fans are way into Loco, as always. MJF gets rid of Hijo and Tanaka makes Patrick tap to a kneebar.

Kotto Brazil is in at #15 with a slingshot spear and a frog splash to Loco. There’s a standing Sliced Bread to Kerbis and it’s Rey Horus in at #16. A springboard crossbody gets two on Brazil with Loco making the illogical save. One heck of a pop up tornado DDT hits Loco and MJF steals the two count. Romero eliminates Kerbis and it’s Rich Swann in at #17. Superkicks and running Swantons abound but Horus rips the tape off of Swann’s mouth to start the slugout.

Myron Reed is in at #18 for the second back to back partners in a row. Thankfully Reed gets in his running cutter over the top for the always cool visual. Reed and Swann dropkick Tanaka out as they’re getting better at keeping the ring from getting too full. Avalanches eliminates Loco and it’s the nearly 500lb Barrington Hughes in at #19. Reed’s springboard crossbody bounces off of Romero and Hughes, meaning an easy elimination.

It’s Ace Austin in at #20, giving us MJF, Avalanche, Romero, Brazil, Horus, Swann, Hughes and Austin at the halfway point (I must have missed Wolf going out). A bunch of people get together to get rid of Hughes with Swann celebrating, earning himself the big elbow from Romero for the elimination. Jimmy Yuta is in at #21 as Avalanche is gone. Yuta superkicks Austin out and MJF is dropkicked through the ropes for a breather.

Jacob Fatu of Contra is in at #22 but here are Simon Gotch and Josef Samael through the crowd to clean house. A gas can to the head has Brazil in trouble and everyone but Romero is stacked up for the least connecting moonsault I’ve ever seen. Thankfully Fatu drops a backsplash to make up for some of it. The gas is poured on three guys and a lighter is pulled out, drawing in security to prevent the murder.

Fatu isn’t having that and hits the moonsault onto Yuta and Horus before leaving, seemingly eliminating himself. As usual, Contra is the best thing going around here with Fatu looking like a star. MJF comes in and steals pins on Reed, Yuta and Horus in the most perfect thing he could have done. Brian Pillman Jr. is in at #23 for a showdown with MJF. A superkick gets rid of MJF (Bocchini: “BRIAN PILLMAN YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE!”) and it’s Davey Boy Smith Jr. at #24. They shake hands but Romero is back up to prevent them from having to fight.

The double teaming works just fine though and Romero is out as Konnan and LAX (as in all three) are in at #25, #26 and #27 (I think?). Smith tosses Santana and Ortiz as Low Ki is in at #28. Konnan just leaves as Ki fights back with a springboard kick to both Harts. LA Park is in at #29 for the fourth or fifth instance of partners/stable mates in consecutive numbers. Park brings in a step stool as we hear about Fatu being arrested for fighting with the NYPD.

Emil Sitoci (Dutch wrestler from WXW) is in at #30 and hits a moonsault onto Pillman. That gives us Smith, Pillman, Ki, Park and Sitoci for a rather international grouping. Daga is in at #31 and goes straight for Low Ki (who nearly ripped his ear off a few months ago) with stomps and choking in the corner. Blue Meanie is in at #32 and it’s a bunch of eye pokes until Smith suplexes him down. Alexander Hammerstone (a monster freak of nature) is in at #33 to kick Pillman out and Sami Callihan (with the bat) is in at #34 to a big reaction. Callihan bats Meanie in the head for the pin, followed by Ki and Sitoci being tossed.

A running big boot eliminates Holliday but Hammerstone kicks Smith out to get us down to four. Callihan mocks Park’s dance and gets kicked in the face by Hammerstone but Park breaks up a cover on Warner for some reason. Warner and Hammerstone go to the apron with an eye poke getting rid of Hammerstone but Callihan gets rid of Warner, leaving us with Callihan vs. Park. Sami is ready so Park hits a spear and tosses Callihan out for the win at 47:13.

Rating: B-. It was better than last year’s as they didn’t have as many random entries, though having the wrestling world in town for the show helped out with that. Park winning is….weird, as he’s undefeated in MLW and makes sense as a #1 contender but he was just one of the people in the match for the second half of the match. Other than the spear at the end, I don’t remember anything he did the whole way through.

The rest of the match was pretty good with Contra looking like stars. It was a great way to keep them from being eliminated, though the gas can was a little much. They kept things moving well enough, even if forty people is a little much. This would have been better with just thirty entrants, though I can get why forty sounds better. Overall not bad, and it felt like a major event for a special show.

In a press conference, Tom Lawlor says he’ll fight anyone from any country and he’s ready for Contra. Speaking of Contra, here they are to lay him out, with the handcuffs still on Fatu’s wrists.

Overall Rating: B-. Overall this was almost all about the Battle Riot as the other three matches just kind of happened. It’s an entertaining two hours (or close to it) with MLW knowing how to do their bigger shows well, as usual. They were smart to go with so many people as it offered a little bit of everything and might make some people come back next time. Good show, though it still wasn’t quite at that top level that they have trouble hitting.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Fusion #23
Date: September 21, 2018
Location: War Memorial Auditorium, Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Commentators: Rich Bocchini, Tony Schiavone

We’re still down in Florida and that’s not the worst thing in the world. The arena looked rather good last week for WarGames and had a very close knit vibe to it, making the show feel more intimate than most. Well as intimate as two teams inside a double cage is going to get. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here are Konnan with Fenix and Pentagon Jr. for an opening chat. Konnan is fired up to be back home and the CERO MIEDO chants start up. He wants to talk about Salina de la Renta and while he doesn’t have a problem with ambition, he has an issue with her methods. Those contracts for Pentagon and Fenix were so one sided and a good example of why wrestling contracts get bad names.

Cue Salina with Ricky Martinez, the latter of whom is carrying a contract. Salina makes it clear that Pentagon and Fenix were granted early release and didn’t walk away. She offers them new contracts, which were negotiated with “Hunter”, who is offering them English classes and a little rebranding. Ricky holds out a pen and the fans are already starting the NO chants. If they sign, they can get out of having to face LA Park and Low Ki. That’s a big no though, as Spanish is shouted and the contracts are ripped up. MLW has these two signed up for a long time and teasing the WWE signing is an interesting idea.

Opening sequence.

Stud Stable vs. Hart Foundation

Dirty Blonds/Parrow for the Stable here and this is under hurricane (tornado) rules. Pillman wearing a smoking jacket to the ring is a perfect touch and he’s looking more like his dad every day. Smith starts the beating early as Pillman slips to the floor to trip Parrow. The Foundation cleans house but Pillman charges into a boot in the corner. That’s not cool with Smith, who fires off kicks to Parrow’s chest.

Hart hits the big moonsault to the floor and the fans are way into him all over again. Back in and Smith suplexes Brien, leaving Hart to hit a slow motion sunset bomb out of the corner. Pillman takes forever coming off the top with a high crossbody but Parrow is right there to throw him into the corner. The Blonds are back up and beat Hart down, much to the fans’ annoyance. Not that it matters as Pillman knocks Brien to the floor, leaving Parrow to take the running powerslam for the pin at 4:26.

Rating: C-. I don’t disagree with the idea of the Harts winning here, as they are almost destined to be a major force around here. However, the Stable hasn’t won anything of note in what feels like months and you can’t do that much longer without the wins not meaning anything anymore. Pillman was clearly being protected in one of his first matches back from injury and there’s nothing wrong with that. Good win for the Harts.

Post match the Harts leave as Colonel Parker yells at Parrow. The Blonds beat Parrow down to kick him out of the Stable.

Video on WarGames, including Sami Callihan blaming Jimmy Havoc for the loss.

Havoc isn’t pleased with what Sami did and thinks the anger is misdirected. One of Sami’s kids tapped out but that’s not the point. They’re going to fight and Havoc likes that Sami is angry.

Aria Blake and Maxwell Jacob Friedman are in the back with MJF not getting the women’s wrestling thing. Or women’s voting for that matter, but that’s a different story. Blake wants to snatch Taya Valkyrie bald but Friedman would rather talk about his abs.

Aria Blake/Maxwell Jacob Friedman vs. Taya Valkyrie/Joey Ryan

This is Taya’s debut. Hang on though as Ryan needs a lollipop and some oil. The bell rings and Friedman WILL NOT touch Ryan’s….yeah. Ryan: “If you’re not going to touch it, maybe SHE’LL touch it!” Bocchini on what we’re seeing: “I don’t know how to explain this on national television. Google it.” That’s as good as you can do in that situation. Blake rips at Ryan’s chest hair instead and actually gets a near fall as it’s back to MJF for a failed atomic drop attempt.

Taya comes in for a drop toehold onto Joey’s crotch, which MJF sells like death for two. Back up and MJF refuses to hit a woman so Taya slaps him instead. A shake of the chest and a shot to the face gets two before it’s back to Ryan. Blake offers a cheap shot from the apron and it’s MJF taking over by ripping at Ryan’s face. With Ryan in trouble, Blake comes back in for some spanks and a spinning neckbreaker for two.

It’s back to MJF for a chinlock until Ryan suplexes his way to freedom. That’s enough for a double tag to the women with Taya easily getting the better of it, including some running knees in the corner. A surfboard stomp gives Taya two and she seems….mildly annoyed at best. Aria gets in a kick to the head though and it’s back to the men. Ryan slugs away and puts the lollipop in MJF’s mouth, freaking him out as you might have expected. The superkick hits Taya by mistake though, allowing Aria to hit Ryan low. As she tends to her likely broken arm, MJF gets a rollup with trunks to pin Ryan at 8:37.

Rating: D+. That really needs to be it for this feud as MJF has beaten Ryan every time. There’s enough of a roster around to allow Friedman to have multiple opponents and it’s time to switch things up a bit. Ryan wasn’t as over the top here outside of signature stuff and mostly wrestled the match straight, which is the right call in something like this.

Post match Aria has her elbow out of socket ala Alexa Bliss for a great touch. MJF brags about getting rid of Ryan and Joey Janela, so here’s Janela to jump him from behind. A low blow gets MJF out of trouble.

Fury Road Control Center. Announced for the show: Tom Lawlor vs. Shane Strickland. I’m good with that.

Callihan accepts Havoc’s challenge and blames the WarGames loss on his former friend.

Brody King vs. PCO

King wastes no time in stomping PCO down in the corner and dropping a backsplash for an early two. PCO is fine enough to knock King to the floor and hit a suicide dive, which is rather impressive given how huge he is. They slug it out with PCO’s shouting adding a lot to the impacts.

A pop up powerbomb drops King back inside and PCO gets annoyed at the referee for not counting fast enough. King gets two of his own off a running clothesline and a suplex is good for the same. PCO is right back with a DDT but King backdrops him into the corner for a scary looking crash. We get the required slugout until they go for each others eyes. The referee gets shoved down and it’s a double DQ at 5:19.

Rating: C. There is something so much fun about having two big guys hit each other really hard for a few minutes. The ending here is fine as they can have a street fight or something to really get violent and that’s where the story needs to go anyway. PCO has grown a lot on me in a short while and I’m getting into the idea of the character.

Post match King piledrives PCO and hammers away at his unconscious body. Referees get Brody out and PCO MOONSAULTS ONTO EVERYONE (Freaking sweet!) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a show where the matches don’t add up to the overall total. They’re packing in a lot of good stuff onto the show and I’m liking the characters and motivations more every week. Above all else though, they’re giving you a reason to tune in next week and that’s not something that even WWE knows how to do a lot of the time. It’s a good sign for the future and something a lot of companies take years to understand.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6